#☆゚*・゚ cassie does a thing — ↳ talks
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ineffablecabbage · 22 hours ago
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Robby/Langdon #46 for the fanfic memes
(lolololol it's here eventually. Final word count: 2983 words)
"Life goes on, even when it's not fair," Alan, Frank's detox partner, tells Frank on his first day of rehab. "That might be advice from my stint of rehab. Or it might be from a country song. But whichever one it is, it is fucking accurate."
Frank, who is in the middle of some pretty gross withdrawals of his own, can only agree.
When it comes time to start work again, Frank is pretty sure that he is never going to forget Alan's little saying, no matter where it came from. Because nothing seems fair.
It's only one more year he reminds himself. Then his residency will be finished and he can leave. He can go somewhere fresh and be an attending somewhere that nobody knows him. The PHP requirements will still be there, which means meetings and drug tests and all of that happy bullshit in order to keep his license, but it won't have a whole hospital full of people who clearly know all of his mistakes.
They shouldn't; he wonders who told them. But in the end, he supposes it doesn't matter.
It's only a year. He can suffer that long and consider it atonement.
So he goes back to work, and life does indeed go on, even when it's not fair.
~*~
In general, Frank's rule for work is to talk to his coworkers when they talk to him and then mind his own business and go the fuck home.
This works pretty well. Mel talks to him often, as does Cassie. Collins, newly promoted to attending, is friendly in the professional kind of way that makes him think that he will definitely miss her after the year is up. Dana definitely makes it clear that she is rooting for him. She asks the kind of personal information that he doesn't volunteer anymore, about home.
He makes it vague enough; does everyone need to know that he's getting divorced? No, this place has enough gossip on him. If she notices his reluctance, she doesn't say so.
The other residents and med students report to him or they don't; since Collins became an attending, she's put a new system into place about dividing up the junior residents so that they now have assigned permanent senior residents. Santos is assigned to Samira, so that's one less thing he has to worry about, and since she isn't his problem, he doesn't have to talk to her. So he doesn't.
It's just a year, after all.
Then there's Robby.
Robby is chief attending. Sometimes he asks questions. Frank answers them. Sometimes, Frank has to make a report to him, so he does. But that is the extent of their interactions.
Unlike with everyone else, Frank misses all of the stupid bullshit he used to have with Robby. But he remembers back to that day in the ambulance bay, and if it is possible for there to be phantom pain in your chest, Frank definitely feels it.
He doesn't know how to fix it. They told him in rehab that some relationships simply never recover, and he has to accept that.
He doesn't know how to do that, either.
~*~
Frank keeps up his Instagram mostly to keep up with his old marathon buddies. Thanks to the back injury, more marathons are likely out forever. His therapist suggests that maybe he should delete the Instagram if it causes him too much distress, but Katie in his NA meeting suggests that he should look at staying sober as his new marathons.
So he starts posting dumb inspirational quotes and following NA pages, and all the other stereotypical addict shit that you do when you're first in recovery.
It's cheesey, but he smiles and feels some sweet, sweet validation when Cassie, Abby, Samira, Dana, and even fucking Abbot likes his posts. Since when is Abbot on Instagram? Is it that old? Maybe he should delete it.
But then he notices a like from Jake, and something in his chest seizes up. That seems like forbidden territory.
It feels even worse when Jake comments. good job, buddy. keep it up! ;)
Frank doesn't talk to people, except for when he has to, but people still talk. He's heard about the big blow out that Robby and Jake had. He knows they aren't on good terms.
Frank very hesitantly writes, ty! and tries to move on with his life without feeling like combination of Brutus and Benedict Arnold.
Except, the likes keep coming, and so do the comments, and Frank starts to think that perhaps Judas is a more appropriate metaphor.
~*~
"So what am I supposed to do?" Frank asks his therapist.
His therapist hums. "What do you want to do?" he asks, and not for the first time, Frank thinks that therapy is a fucking scam.
So he asks Katie, in his NA meeting. "Well," she said. "Boundaries are good. But are you upset that Jake is contacting you, that he is a memory of your relationship with Robby, or that Robby isn't contacting you?"
"I'm not sure we ever had a relationship," Frank says.
"That's avoidance," Katie tells him. "That won't solve your problem or keep you sober."
Frank thinks back to the day in that ambulance day. "I only apologized to my family, you know. They are the only ones I think I owed anything to, for step nine. Do you think that's avoidance?"
"You know that we can't make those decisions for each other," Kate says. "You're in the medical field. Harm reduction vs. healing, Dr. Langdon."
If he was any good at that, he wouldn't be here now, would he? ~*~
So, he starts small.
He corners Dana in the lounge, like he did that day in September, takes a deep breath, and says, "You know about Step nine?"
She smiles, her knowing smile and pats his arm. "Of course I do, kid. You need to get it out of your system?" He nods. "Well, then go ahead."
"I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm sorry for prioritizing myself on a day that was already shitty for you. I'm sorry for harassing you all day. I'm sorry for constantly putting more on your plate when you didn't need it."
"I already forgave you, kid," she says, and god, he wishes all of his amends were going to be this simple.
~*~
He plans to apologize to Mel next. Because he likes to keep the simple streak going, and in fact, he knows that is very simple.
He seeks her out in the lounge, and she is there, but she's also there with Whitaker, who has apparently decided to pursue Emergency Medicine.
Well, what the hell. Frank probably owes him an apology, too.
"So. Mel. Whitaker. There's something I need to say," Frank says.
"Oh. Go ahead," Mel says, and she looks very pleased to hear from him, because she's a good person.
"What is it, Dr. Langdon?" Whitaker looks confused, which is fair, because he's Samira's responsibility.
He takes a deep breath. "I owe both of you an apology for my behavior last year. I'm sure you already heard through the grapevine that I was struggling with substance abuse, and I won't bore you with details. But part of my recovery requires me to apologize to those that I fucked up with. And I fucked up as a teacher to both of you. I was fucked up, either high or managing withdrawals the whole first day you were here. I was not the teacher you deserved, and for that I'm sorry. And Mel, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye." He pauses. "Uh. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you, either, Whitaker."
"Oh, that's okay," Whitaker says.
Mel does something unexpected. She gets up, and she hugs him. That's weird. She doesn't hug.
However, he doesn't let go. "Least problematic trainee," he murmurs.
"Do we have to hug?" Whitaker asks.
"Absolutely fucking not," Frank says.
~*~
They are slammed for the next four hours, but he finally manages to find Cassie and Victoria searching for some extra gauze.
"Hey!" he says. "Something I need to say."
"I heard," Cassie says. "Rumor has it you're doing your steps today."
"Oh. Whitaker tell you? I think I freaked him out."
"You definitely did," Victoria tells him.
"Right, so anyway!" Frank says.
"You don't owe me an apology," Cassie interrupts him. "You can say something if you think you need to, but I promise you, I've seen worse. You were never not there for me as a senior resident when I needed you, so I'm just glad you're getting the help you need. Keep it up, and be kind to yourself."
"Thanks, Cassie. And I'm sorry for letting down the team, anyway."
She pats him on the shoulder with the gauze packet.
He turns to Victoria and gives the same speech he gave to Mel and Whitaker, more or less, minus the part about saying goodbye. It's a little less sincere, truth be told, because he doesn't know her as well as Mel, but he didn't know Whitaker that well either, and regardless - he fucked up.
When it's done, she shrugs. "Um, you don't owe me an apology. I made a major fuck up that day, too. Like, probably ruined a woman's life and her kids, too. So… I … uh… forgive you, or whatever."
"We all fuck up with patients," he tells her sympathetically. "Learn from it, and do better. That's all you can do."
"Same for you, right?" she says.
~*~
He tries to apologize to Yolanda. She tells him to not fuck up again, and that it will all be forgiven.
~*~
By 5 p.m, Frank figures he has three people left: Heather, Samira, Trinity, and Robby.
He sits in the lounge, for a rare break, and wishes that his appendix would explode or literally anything else would happen to keep him from reasonably being expected to talk to these people.
Samira comes in the lounge just as he is crumbling up his bag of hot Cheetos. Well, so much for his appendix being remotely useful.
"Hey, Samira," he greets.
"Oh, Frank Langdon, back to small talk," she says in surprise. "What's the special occasion?"
"You haven't heard?"
She shrugs. "You hear a lot of things in this department. I don't always pay attention. It can make you extra slow to pay attention to gossip, you know?"
He smiles softly at that. "Part of my recovery is doing direct amends. I owe you an apology for my behavior, especially during - uh, you know, that trauma with Santos. That was full fledged benzos at their worst, and you never should have been subjected to that."
"Neither should have Dr. Santos."
"I'm aware of that," Frank says with a sigh. "But they are direct amends, and she isn't here right now. So. I'm apologizing to the person who is. I'm sorry."
Samira nods. "Apology accepted. We're rooting for you, you know."
"Thanks," he says.
~*~
"I owe you an apology," he tells Heather, and she laughs at him.
"I know this is Step Nine, but stop it," she says. "We've all fucked up. The only person you need to kiss and make-up to is currently in the locker room. Maybe go give this speech to him."
"There's fucking up, and there's benzos," he tells her.
"Fifteen percent of doctors, and even an greater amount of EM doctors, will struggle with substance abuse. Now stop making me nice to you, Langdon," she says. "And go make up with Robby so he can quit pouting."
But he's not ready for that.
~*~
They're in the middle of a crike, and Ellis is already there; it's time to change over to nightshift. He's almost out of time, and he wants to be done for the day.
He glances over at Santos and sighs.
"I'm sorry I was such a drugged out fucking mess, and thank you for saving my life," he says.
She blinks at him. "What the fuck?"
"Fucking step nine," he answers.
"Oh."
Ellis looks back and forth to both of them, then shrugs, because night shift rarely gives a fuck about anything.
~*~
His finished all his charts and he's almost ready to go home, but he has one more thing he has to do in this hell day, no matter how much he doesn't want to do it.
But when he goes to look, Robby has already left.
"You missed the checkout meeting with your little NA meeting with Santos," Ellis tells him. "Don't worry, I'll put in a good word about what a good, contributing team member you were."
"I appreciate that," he says dryly.
"Don't I get an apology?" she teases.
"Do you want one?"
She laughs at him, and for a moment, he thinks he might miss this terrible place when he leaves next year.
~*~
The problem is, he wants to be done with these stupid amends tonight.
The other problem is, he is never going to make amends with Robby at work.
The third problem is that his phone buzzes to let him know that his Instagram is getting yet another comment.
It's fucking Jake, again.
Well, that makes his decision for him.
He decides to go to Robby's apartment.
~*~
He's only been there once, actually. He hopes Robby hasn't moved in the meantime. He should move, because chief attendings shouldn't live in apartments. They should live in real houses.
But Robby likes walking to work, and he has commitment issues, so he lives in an apartment instead.
And that is unnecessarily judgy, and not something he should think as he rings the doorbell.
Robby opens the door and stares at him for a few minutes. "Frank," he says slowly. "What are you doing here?"
"I was helping with the crike. And … talking with Dr. Santos. I missed the meeting," he says lamely.
Robby frowns. "Is that why you're here? It's fine. Don't worry about it. You're not in any trouble. Abbot said you were helping out."
"That's not why I'm here." Frank closes his eyes and opens them again to see Robby giving him a look that is not nearly as annoyed as he imagined it would be. "I'm here because there is something I need to say to you."
"Oh." Robby shakes his head. "Your step nine stuff. Well, it's fine. You don't have to do that."
"Yes, I do. Look, will you just. Christ, are you going to make me stay out here in the hallway?"
Robby looks startled, like maybe he had forgotten that Frank was standing out in the hallway. At the question, he steps back and gestures into the apartment.
Frank steps in, and he tries not to look around. But he wants to. He wants to take in everything in the apartment that is part of Robby, because the last time he was at Robby's apartment, he was sharing it with Jake's mom.
"Thanks," he says. "Look. Just let me finish, okay? This is - really hard to do, but it's important."
"Okay," Robby says, and he pushes his hands down the front of his pants, and it looks so familiar. Frank hates it.
But he doesn't hate it, and that is the whole fucking problem, isn't it?
"I owe you an apology. For a lot of things, actually. I'm sorry for not coming to you when I was struggling in the first place. I'm sorry for breaking your trust over and over again every time I stole from a patient. I'm sorry for being a shitty teacher and making the worst anniversary of your life worse. I'm sorry for coming back and putting you in a shitty position. I'm sorry for - "he falters here, because fuck that ambulance bay, actually. "I'm sorry for the long list of shitty things I said to you in the ambulance bay. I'm sorry Jake keeps liking my Instagram posts on purpose to hurt you."
Robby nods. "You done?"
"Yeah," Frank says, expecting that Robby will kick him out now.
"Most of that you don't owe me an apology for, because it was your addiction at work, not you. Jake's actions aren't yours, so you aren't responsible for them. You saved a lot of people when you came back. As for the rest… well. You're not the only one who was a dick in that ambulance bay, were you?"
No, Frank thinks, but he has spent so long feeling guilty for thinking it that he doesn't have an answer for it.
"I'm sorry too, Frank," Robby says.
Well, what is he supposed to do with that?
Frank kind of figures he's on a roll, and he might as well keep going. "I missed you."
Robby ducks his head the way he does when he's having an emotional beat that he wants to pretend he isn't having. "I missed you, too. I was trying to give you the space you needed. I didn't … want to push."
"I appreciate that," Frank says. "Well. I didn't come here to keep you up all night. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, Abby will have my ass for keeping you out this late," Robby says.
Oh, ha, ha, that's right, you have been unsubscribed to updates in my life for a while. "Actually, we're getting divorced," Frank says. "And I don't have the kids or the dog til this weekend, so nobody's waiting to be pissed at you at home."
Why did he say that? That sounds weird
Maybe Robby thinks so too, because he says "Oh, really?" followed by "I'm sorry" followed quickly by "You want to stay, then?"
Frank doesn't, exactly, have time to consider exactly what "stay" means, before he says "Yes."
~*~
As it turns out, maybe he won't leave after this year is up - that's what "stay" means.
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pup-pee · 1 year ago
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IVE CATCHED THEM ALL
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my camera washed them out a lot BUT MY PRINTER DID IT 1ST i h8 cmsmth smth printing
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I SWEAR THEY LOOK WAY BETTER IRL LOL how tf do ppl take photos im not a photographer aaaaa
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seaside-hysteria · 4 months ago
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Hot take but Teen Titans vol 3 era Cassie wasn’t that bad. Her designs were kinda terrible yes, BUT. It did have some interesting characterization and I feel like people wanna ignore that completely because they gave her lipstick?? Like how can you ignore her arc around the grief of losing her basically sister just cuz she kissed some boys or whatever. Ttvol3 Cassie definitely could’ve been better, like, leagues better, but still. It’s important to her story and it’s weird when people try to ignore it entirely
ALSO without ttvol3 we wouldn’t have had the mess that is Rose and Cassie. This is the price we have to pay for toxic yuri
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vv-ispy · 1 month ago
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ships and the circumstances in which they do and don't work in
#thinking about. okay so i ship naezono right. I ship it a lot bc they'd break up#(in a nondangan au imo bc in canon maizono was willing to frame naegi for her murder to see her friends)#so the fact it came up in the second game !!! bc Naegi remembered Maizono !!!!! for saving him !!!!!!#truly a product of their circumstances ship. and i love it#(looks at naegi remembering maizono. looks at venti remembering bard. looks at hinata remembering komaeda. boy do I have a ship type)#anyway that is to say dr2 canon? hinata/nanami is so good and sweet#but it is also a product of their circumstances ship to me. a nanami supports hinata and hinata shows nanami another world ship#nanami bless her i love her is an emotional support anchor to hinata kinda ship#which serves her purpose honestly! fitting#but in terms of understanding hinata? no one does that as well as komaeda#and yet !!! dr2 canon bc they understand each other so well that's why they fall apart so badly after chapter 1#product of their circumstances *non*ship. they could be such a good ship except they're not because of their circumstances#except it also makes them better at understanding each other bc if it wasn't for that chapter 1 reveal. the ftes. hinata would also never#have known how deep komaeda's issues go. which is necessary bc hinata's issues go basically just as deep in order to become izuru#insane. what a relationship. they're so similar they fall apart so badly bc of their circumstances#yet dr2 is also a story about facing the future from the past. which means post canon if komaeda can get his issues sorted out#komahina would be such a deeper and more meaningful ship to hinata than nanami/hinata by virtue of komaeda understanding hinata#in ways nanami would struggle to. and yet it's not in canon bc canon happens !!!! making nanami the better canon ship for hinata#so yeah. wow. circumstances and how they shape relationships. (thinks also about animorphs how cassie/jake stopped working after the war#rachel/marco is a thing only non-war. tobias/rachel majorly worked ONLY because of the war)#dr talk#sure sure sure
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cassynite · 1 year ago
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chipistrate · 2 years ago
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You see that theory going around on Twitter about Gregory being innocent in the main ending?
@/TheJ_Pro on there has a pretty detailed thread about it if you haven't heard it.
YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH I SAW!! MY SON!!! MY SON IS INNOCENT!!!!
Honestly I think he's valid in his actions whether he did it or not considering the situation he was in at that moment- but after hearing the evidence of him not doing it, even outside of that thread, I'm definitely leaning more on the side that it wasn't him.
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popcultr · 1 year ago
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OPEN TO: m
MUSE: cassie murphy / 26 / retail worker / heterosexual
based on THIS plot!
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cassie had recently become single, the relationship wasn't working out and so the pair had called it quits. it also meant that she was attending her best friend's wedding, without a date.
the day had been wonderful so far, she'd had a great time, celebrating her friend and their partner. now they were all sitting down and enjoying the food, she noticed who was sat next to her, grinning, "oh this was definitely done on purpose..."
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victim9d · 2 years ago
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SELKIE DRESSES that are in cassie's wardrobe that she wears All The Time
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oikarma · 2 months ago
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how you get the girl | pt.1
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: everyone knows you as the "girl timothee chalamet made out w at coachella" until he's with kylie. so you're picking up the pieces of your heart until a certain f1 driver steps in and puts it back together
a/n: got stuck on my franco fic so here's another lando smau for you cuties <3
part one / part two
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liked by clubchalamet and others
deuxmoi A little birdie told us that Timothée Chalamet's Coachella hook-up might have been a little more serious than we thought...
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user1 genuinely tweaking out
user2 no cause who is she
user3 timothee baby come home the kids miss you
user4 Like how serious are we talking deuxmoi
user5 are we sure that's him in the third pic
user6 i'd know those anal beads ANYWHERE user7 lmao she looks so fed up with him
user8 she looks so fake...
user9 she's def had work done user10 how much you wanna bet he's going to go after a kardashian next?
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liked by user1 and others
deuxmoi After months of speculation, Kylie and Timothée seem to have hard-launched.
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user1 bop bop bop
user2 how long is this gonna last?
user3 is it just me or does she genuinely look happy with him
user4 ignore the haters they're just jealous
user5 what does clubchalamet have to say about this
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yourinstagram has added to their stories
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liked by lilyzneimer and others
yourinstagram bet you can't tell my soul is black
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lilyzneimer what's cooking, good looking?
yourinstagram do you want my audition to be the next cassie lilyzneimer no getting a new man crush would destroy you
princejoeybreeze okay emo
yourinstagram okay ego
hattiepiastri you want to practice that spiderman upside down kiss
yourinstagram might get it wrong the first time...might need to do it a few times...you know? oscarpiastri can you stop flirting with my sister hattiepiastri i like it actually oscar will you stop ruining my chance at true love
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yourinstagram has added to their stories
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liked by lando and others
f1 Some fashion icons spotted in the paddock today!
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user1 alexxx 😍
user2 who's the girl with alex is it the same one in p2?
user3 i think its the same girl she just took her blazer off prob undid her hair too cause it was super hot user4 no idea
user5 lily mi amor!
user6 icons that's RIGHT the 2nd fit be eating so hard
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liked by hattiepiastri and others
yourinstagram thanks piastris!! had so much fun being pampered
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hattiepiastri miss you x
yourinstagram get well soon baby
lilyzneimer you should come with me to osc's races more often
yourinstagram i wish...my broke ass could never
oscarpiastri You're welcome
yourinstagram !! hattiepiastri he's such a bot
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lando went out tonight x
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user1 looking cute, lando
user2 oh he's so huggable
yourinstagram it's all "manners" until you get the chicken tenders
lando hey they were yummy okay you weren't very demure either user3 WAIT GUYS ITS THE PADDOCK GIRL user4 the coachella girl?? user5 dang she sure gets around user6 what's she doing with lando
user7 why not on lando.jpg
user8 well it's a polaroid genius
oscarpiastri How come you never use utensils when you eat with me
lando i don't need to be classy around you osc oscarpiastri Hm. user9 oscar piastri are you jealous
user10 what is kylie doing in the likes??
user11 well she and lewis are friends maybe he introduced her to lando user12 liking your man's ex's new bf(?)'s post is wild
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a/n: hellooo here's a new lando fic for you guys <3 timothee may be appearing in the future and things may get a little dramatic so i hope you enjoyed reading pt1
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sanni276 · 3 months ago
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Tim is panicking because he doesn't know what to give Kon for his birthday so he asks Cassie.
Cassie: (she is so done with their pathetic pining) Just get really close to his face, close your eyes and count to five. Trust me, that will make him very happy.
Tim has not been sleeping enough for the past few days so he does not question it. He doesn't really know how this would make Kon happy, but Cassie used to date him after all, so she must know what she is talking about. He would do anything to make his crush best friend happy anyways.
I think we all know how this ended up. (But Tim got a boyfriend out of it so "a win is a win"?)
bonus - at the birthday party:
Kon: *panicking because the guy who he has been in love with for years is suddenly very close and Rao he closed his eyes, does this mean he wants to ki-? No Kon get your head out of the gutter there is no way Tim likes you like that. But what else could he possibly intend to do and Kon would be a fool not to use this chance if Tim might actually like him too so he leans in and- OMG! He is kissing Tim. Best birthday ever. Best day ever. Probably best thing to evr happen in the whole history of this universe and Gahhjhdsk<sduhsd*
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popcultr · 5 months ago
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this was a big deal for cassie, she'd never actually stood up to her father like this before. she knew that he wasn't going to be happy with this but she didn't care anymore, cassie just wanted to get out of there and she was going to take arlo and joey with her.
she smiled up at joey as he helped her get up, "thank-you babe", arlo had also stood up, pushing his chair back in. "we'll see you around dad" arlo muttered, cassie didn't have anything else to say, she didn't want to talk to him. cass turns to look at her brother and her boyfriend, "let's go get a drink somewhere else" she starts to walk away.
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whatever cassie decided to do during this dinner, joey would 100% stand behind her. he understood her frustration with her father, could see it just from the tension of the shared meal. he wasn't one to give his opinion, not right there and then at least. all he wanted to do was support his girlfriend through a complicated situation like this one. without hesitation, hearing cassie's announcement, he stood up and pulled the chair out gently to help cassie get up. "whatever you wanna do, cass. i'm here for you."
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dammit-tazmuir · 6 days ago
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For all the things this fandom refuses to believe and chalks up to John's lies, the thing that baffles me to see so many believe without question is the idea of Perfect Lyctorhood.
Guys. Guys, there is no Perfect Lyctorhood.
Or at best, if there hypothetically could be, it's nothing we've ever seen. Paul is the closest thing and I know a lot of you would not consider Paul perfect. John did not achieve Perfect Lyctorhood, and it wasn't even his idea to claim he did. A quarter of NtN extensively details that he didn't.
The old Lyctors didn't know what Alecto was. John definitely told them more than he would have liked to, because of course she doesn't lie and is too obviously inhuman to hide it fully. But if they knew everything, Mercy wouldn't doubt that Alecto ever had a genetic code; she would know she didn't, or that any genes she might've had were made from John's own blood and bone.
Because they didn't know what she actually was or what actually happened (foreshadowed too by Mercy's "if you had lied about anything else" lines, when actually he did), they drew the wrong conclusion. They assumed something different in his process allowed Alecto to persist. But we now know the truth is that Alecto was simply too big to consume. She didn't die because she was already limitless. This will never apply to another human. But he lets them believe their conclusion because he thinks it's better and easier to talk his way out of than them figuring out the real truth.
It does remain possible that Anastasia and Samael were genuinely on the cusp of that breakthrough, but I honestly doubt it. That was another conclusion drawn by the Lyctors as a follow-up to the previous wrong one, and when John answers, he visibly hesitates. It feels like he's once again going, "....Sssure, yes, let's go with that." I don't know what Samael and Anastasia WERE on the verge of. Maybe they would have become gestalt like Paul, and the possibility of just one dying was why Pal begged Cam "don't look back", and John was afraid of the power they'd achieve (could Paul have greater thalergy than a normal Lyctor?) and/or of just the others seeing a different process and getting mad at him.
AND/OR, ACTUALLY? Especially if their attempt was one of the earlier ones (around the middle rather than the end), but even if it wasn't: I think a Paul situation has a STRONG possibility of being exactly what happened. John's most outright lies are usually the ones other people tell that he just nods along with. When it's from himself, if it's not feigned incompetence, he usually goes for half-truths and misleading truths. He says Anastasia panicked halfway through and if he hadn't stepped in they would have both died. I think it's very possible that John panicked halfway through as he realized what they were doing, and that it's genuinely true they would have both died— in the same way Camilla and Palamedes both died, to create someone new.
And we know how much John hates change. How desperately John needs to keep his specific people close. What are the odds he was so afraid of losing both of them and being left with a new person he didn't know, couldn't predict, and couldn't easily control with them having a whole Lyctor's power and maybe more? Especially if Cyth and Loveday, Cassy and Nigella, Cyrus and Valancy, Ulysses and Titania, maybe even G1deon and Pyrrha— if any others hadn't undergone the process yet, and there was a chance they'd see Samastastia and decide that was the path they wanted too. If he thought this meant he might lose all his friends instead of only the less favored half.
Either way, though, based on everything we know, there is no simple soul swap that results in dual immortality. Even John and Alecto involve a fusion of megasoul. "You and she are one." (This is also likely how a seemingly real facet of John could talk to Harrow in Alecto's dream.) And we've seen through NtN, the soul longs for the body. The body longs for the soul. A body housing a different soul doesn't last long, even when those souls ARE semi connected. A body even temporarily renting space to a foreign soul is a massive strain, like Cam carrying Pal.
Lyctorhood inherently involves death and consumption and acting against nature. It is the indelible sin. It's possible that Grand Lysis avoids that sin by making it about mutual death, about giving instead of taking, but it's still bittersweet at best. I highly doubt we're going to see a perfect solution that fixes everything, at least via more necromancy, because that's not the kind of series this is. It's messy, beautiful in its flaws, embracing the understanding that life is change and things can never be exactly as they were, and can rarely be exactly what you want, and letting go and moving on are necessary parts of life eventually.
Don't misunderstand! I do think Gideon will either be resurrected (perhaps the last true one ever) or there will be another way for her and Harrow to happily be together. In Gideon's case, there was nothing natural about her death, and the decision to say "no" is a rejection of the system that led to it.
I just also think the odds of rewriting the laws of life and death entirely are more likely than Lyctorhood But With No Consequences. It always has consequences. There is no Perfect Lyctorhood, but there's something good on the horizon, whatever form it takes. After all...
"There are more worlds than this. Come with us. We are the love that is perfected by death, but even death will be no more. Death can also die. There's still time, Ianthe. Time for you and for Naberius Tern."
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hijinxinprogress · 4 months ago
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Does the JL know that YJ has just casually been beefing with darkseid??
imagine there’s a all hands on deck battle against darkseid and everyone is there but darkseid points out the nearest yj member (it’s probably Bart) like ‘you!!! You managed to escape with your lives last time but this meeting will be our last’ and for a split second Clark’s so fucking confused bc we haven’t fought in years wtf are you talking about then he hears ‘oh shit, look it’s Doug’ and everyone turns to see Bart nudging Kon going ‘he’s talking to you…damn he must still be mad about the coal’ and kons shoving him back bc ‘you were the one fucking around with his coal, you fucking walnut’ while Cassie’s being scruffed by wonder woman bc they’re trying to avoid being around when the jl finds out and tims having a very intense silent conversation lecture about why tf there’s at least half a dozen yj mission reports that mention an assailant named ‘Doug’ 
then Constantine shows up with Greta and everyone (including darkseid) starts yelling and if you don’t know her Greta seems like the one with the ownership of the braincell in yj (she is not but I guess she looks like it from a distance if you squint) which goes one of two ways:
retired-civilian!greta is giggling and waving excitedly to each member of yj along with hal before she practically tackles each of them in a tight hug while the titans, jl, & jl: dark lose their collective shit bc Constantine brought a tiny civilian dressed in pastel floral prints from head to toe into an active battle with fucking darkseid, a civilian who doesn’t register as a threat in any capacity until she makes eye contact with darkseid and gives him the most disgusted look imaginable “Doug… you look…well.” and then like three jl members have to stop her from leaping at darkseid while Hal’s like ‘no! No no, bad Greta! We don’t fight supervillains with…what is that?? I really fucking hope that’s not a gun…Is-is that fucking silly string?! Greta no we don’t silly string supervillains! We’ve talked about this!’
or
never-retired!/recently-out-of-retirement!greta who does the same thing but when she notices darkseid she rocks his shit in eight seconds flat and starts muttering about ‘that fucking Doug, always ruining my goddamn day’ and Hal is the first one to recover from the shock/confusion but only to tell Greta she’s grounded which gets another irritated ‘fucking doug!’ while Wally and Barry are losing it at Mach 6 while Bart tries to explain himself also at Mach 6, Cassie manages to catch Wally’s exasperated ‘where the fuck did you get Doug from?!’ And responds with ‘Apokolips’ in a tone that means they’re questioning his intelligence which leads to more screaming bc ‘so you knew who he was?? Why didn’t you come to us??’ and they all back up Kon when he claims they told Lex bc that means they have at least 3 hours of freedom while Lex is getting yelled at by the jl (and honestly every cape over 24)
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tagidearte-spam-sb · 7 months ago
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The Daycare Attendant and Their Dialogue
A little ramble on some of the things I've noticed about their ways of speaking. This post ended up being predominantly about how they refer to one another. Most of this is speculation mixed in with my own views on them and their relationship, without discarding some other possible alternatives (for instance, although I do view them as two AIs that heavily rely on each other to function properly, I do not cast aside the interpretation that they are the same person).
(note: although I have played SB and Ruin, I did not play HW2 myself. All I know about that game has been through let's plays).
Sun is, obviously, the chattier of the two. Not only are his sentences longer, he speaks more of them in a row than Moon does - in fact, we only see Moon going on and on in Ruin (which we will discuss later).
Both of them use a lot of repetitions when speaking. From their infamous "clean up, clean up" line, to Sun's panicked "you like glitter glue? I have glitter glue!" and "light's on! Light's on! Keep the generators on!", to Moon's "hidey hide, hide away" and "bad children must be punished. Bad children must be found", "knock knock", etc. One of the first things Eclipse says is also a repetition ("warning, warning"). They appear to occasionally rhyme their words too, or at the very least use similar sounds in their sentences. This is a robot that works with young children, so it's not surprising.
On that same vein, their main insult to misbehaving children (and employees... or at least Cassie's dad) is also a repetition: "naughty, naughty" (which turns into "naughty boy" for Gregory), "rulebreaker, rulebreaker", and "bad kid, bad kid". In fact, it appears they repeat words more often when they're mad/stressed (Sun's no no nos, Moon freaking out in Ruin). Taking into account they get mad pretty easily when things don't go their way, it's not surprising we hear it so often, but it's neat.
Although both of them speak in an almost song like manner, with Sun's run on sentences flowing well between one another, Moon is the one where this is more evident due to how much shorter his lines are.
Moon is also the one who speaks in a more childish manner. Not only are his phrases shorter, he doesn't articulate them as much as Sun does, and seems to prefer shorter words and sounds, especially giggles. This makes Sun appear more developed. Key word being appear.
Sun tends to speak as if he's entertaining a crowd, doing his best to keep the attention on himself while trying to keep it fun. This is most evident in his level explanation parts in HW2, but it's also clear in SB. In Ruin, this is absent for... obvious reasons.
Both of them are somehow direct in their way of giving orders/saying what they want to do. When they can't be direct, they find workaround truths in order to conceal what they truly want to say, while keeping the main order clear (such as Sun saying the player will hurt their eyes if they work in the dark and ordering them to keep the lights on, rather than saying Moon will kill them so keep that room bright. Direct, but nicer).
Not at all important to FNAF speech lore but I think it's funny: Sun says the infamous Vanny line during the daycare intro section. "Are you having fun yet? (Are ya, are ya?)". 0.5 seconds after Gregory just stands there, which coincidentally is what Vanny does 0.5 seconds after Gregory gets into a vent (numbers exaggerated). I don't know. I just think it's funny. Replaying the daycare section after hearing Vanny yapping that line non stop gave me flashbacks.
The way they refer to each other and the pronouns they use are an entire thing, so let me separate it in two parts.
So that this post doesn't become scrolling hell on the tags, I'll keep it below the read more line:
Sun
Sun is the one who refers to himself the most. He frequently uses "I" or "me" when talking about himself, and does it way more often than Moon. Examples of this are "I have glitter glue!", "I'm stuck in a nap", "it really speaks to me", "I feel dumber just looking at it" - you get the point by now. The reason I'm going hard on this point is to contrast his way of speaking to Moon's.
When it comes to him referring to Moon, we only ever hear it twice. In HW2 he says "He'll wake up if the lights go out!". In Ruin, he says "Not me, the other me!". Besides those two voice lines, he merely alludes to Moon without ever mentioning him by name or by pronouns (such as when he says he'll turn the lights off himself, implying he'll let Moon deal with you, or when he says you can't work in the dark and instead of saying the real reason as to why, he cuts himself and goes "You'll- hurt your eyes if you work in the dark").
This is interesting for two reasons: one, we only see him directly mention his counterpart when he's in a ruined state (the HW2 voice line comes from the mask off section, when they're broken down. At least I think so); two, he simultaneously views Moon as separate from himself ("he'll wake up") and as a part of himself/another side of himself ("the other me"). You can take that as them really being the same "person", or as a reflection of their complicated body sharing situation. Take it as you will.
As far as referring to himself and Moon at the same time, he only does it in Ruin when he states "We need to be whole".
Moon
The way Moon structures his sentences means that he seldomly actually refers to himself directly. For instance, he doesn't say "I will find you" or "I will punish you", putting himself as the subject of the sentence. Instead, he puts others as the subject, wording it as "Bad children must be found" and "Bad children must be punished". This is consistent across all of his voice lines except one... Well, technically two.
To get it out of the way: there's a deleted voice line where he says "I'm putting you in time out", a line he and Sun share and which worked the same way the clean up one does - them saying the same thing, a push towards them being the same person ordeal.
The only in-game time he refers to himself directly is in Ruin. This line is also the only time he refers to both himself and Sun as a duo. This line is also the longest line of dialogue Moon has.
"(groaning noises) Naughty! Naughty! Make it stop! The light makes us hurt! Grind Grind! Grinding gears inside my head! We can't move. Error! Error!"
This line, much like Sun's, is interesting for various reasons. Even though Sun is no longer with him (being stuck in the VR world and separate from Moon, shown by how Moon can't move because the lights are on but his body can't shift into Sun, so he's completely stuck), he first refers to himself as a "us" - adding Sun into the mix. Then he refers to himself alone, "my head" instead of "ours", before going right back to a plural.
We can assume one of three things here: one, Moon refers to himself as a we more often, adding Sun into the mix, a complete opposite of his counterpart who typically speaks in singulars; or two, Sun is not as absent as he appears and in that moment he is in fact with Moon, just stuck on the passenger sit, hurting alongside him; or three, this is merely an effect of this being in the Ruin DLC where the whole point of the daycare section is to fuse Sun and Moon into the Eclipse, so the writers decided to bring the point home further. If you have more options, feel free to add them.
Side note: This voiceline also shows Moon's speaking patterns pretty well. Putting "the light" as the subject instead of "we/I", the rhyming, the repetition, the clipped sentences compared to Sun's endless ones, the noises, the scratchiness, the vague childlike mannerism... All ending with "we can't move", way more straight to the point, said right before he freezes up, which deviates from the "other subject first then me" rule due to the pain tearing through him at the moment.
Moon does not call Sun "the other me" or anything similar in any of the games. He never refers to Sun as if he too was Sun. However, we can assume his view on their situation probably mirrors Sun's - being in the same body and all -, so take it as you will.
And as for Moon referring to Sun as a separate individual... He does not refer to him as a "he". Instead, he actually mentions his counterpart by name, saying "No more Sun". Meaning he's the only one of the the two that has canonically used his other side's name. I think it's interesting how the least chatty one is the one actually calling the other by name and not the other way around. And yes, you can say it's a way of speaking and he's referring to the concept of the sun rather than saying his name, but taking into consideration Sun never utters the word moon, I'd say it's still quite a big thing.
In my headcanon land, due to the happenings at the Pizzaplex, Sun is probably too embarrassed and mortified to even mention Moon. Moon, on the other hand, has no reason to have such troubles besides hating Sun for (in his perspective) keeping him locked in a prison of light. So for me, it makes sense we never see Sun saying Moon's name, and it makes it more impactful when he actually acknowledges Moon as the other me rather than a he.
Eclipse
I lied there's three parts.
Eclipse has very few voice lines. The only one that matters here is "We need to clean this place up before we can open in the morning." This is pretty straight to the point: Eclipse, unlike Sun and Moon, doesn't use an "I". They immediately speak in the plural. They do not view themselves as just Eclipse, but rather as both Sun and Moon combined, at the same time.
As for the DCA being two AIs or one... in Ruin, Sun thanks Cassie after Eclipse is activated. It's left ambiguous. You can say Sun speaking afterwards proves they're not one and the same, "with the Sun and Moon AIs still running separately somehow", or you can assume Eclipse existing doesn't mean Sun and Moon can't keep doing their thing under safe mode, albeit in a less chaotic manner, allowing Sun's voice to come through but not making him any less Moon - he is Moon, he is Sun, and they are complicated yet very simple.
I believe in whichever version is more convenient at any given time, with a preference for "two codependent AIs" given what the games show us. Although, going by everything I collected here, the only theory I believe to just not be supported by canon at all is the one with Eclipse as a separate thing all together. Eclipse refers to themselves as a "we', not an "I". Eclipse activates when you make Sun and Moon "whole". It canonically makes no sense for Eclipse to be a third thing. (Please remember this is a post about what's in the games, the canon of FNAF. AUs and fandom or whatever, you do you).
That's it. Hope you enjoyed my rambling. Uh artblog unpaid promotion @tagidearte thank you for making it this far.
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soapybutt17 · 1 year ago
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The Next of Kin
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Summary: Simon needed to update his contact information, as dodgy as he was for giving everyone even a glimpse of his private life, he did so. Who would have ever thought that it would become handy after an injury left him high on painkillers and needy for his girls back home. Character: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Wife!Reader. OC Daughter (Cassandra "Cassie" Riley). John Price. Word Count: 1,615 Chapter Warnings: Mentions of Injuries. Drug Consumption. Slight Angst. Mostly fluff.
Masterlist || Request are Open
It was the annual checkup in the base, something that Simon had dreaded the most knowing what it entails. Not only was his current and past injuries being monitored but he was all too certain about the wacky doctor would also make an appearance to check on his mental state. It wasn’t a fun time as any of his other team mates point it out to be.
“Should we update your emergency contact, Lieutenant Riley?” The nurse had inquired dealing with his medical records.
A part of him wanted to say no, but remembering what was waiting for him home, he could not allow himself to break his wife’s heart as well as his own daughter if the time ever comes that he dies in the middle of battle. He would want to ensure if ever that was to happen, you would know and hope that you would move on.
“Yes,” He agreed accepting the clipboard and pen handed to him.
Without an ounce of hesitation, he wrote your name and your number under his emergency contacts.
His handwriting was decent and readable at best, chicken scratch at worst as Johnny had eloquently pointed out during reports. But there was this special care with the way he wrote your first name and his last name that you were more than happy to take as soon as you married all those years ago. Your number was ingrained to his brain as he wrote it, having forced himself to memorize in the event he didn’t have his personal phone with him and simply a burner phone for missions.
What truly took him a second to write was the blank space dedicated to his relationship with you. No one knew he was in a relationship, nor did anyone know about his marriage. It took him a full two minutes before he found himself slowly opening the flood gates of his personal life that he had tried his best to hide from the world.
“Never knew you were married, Lieutenant.”
“Never planned on letting anyone know about it.” He spoke honestly, the cold demeanor and tone enough to stop the conversation from going further about his personal life.
Little did Simon know that the upcoming mission would lead to him having to make use of the emergency contact.
~
When you had begun your relationship with one Simon Riley, you had always accepted that he would always be gone for uncertain amounts of months in a year, you had accepted that part of him. How mission would always mean the world was a little safer from the dangers of man. You accepted all the big and small flaws that came with Simon and even in your eventual marriage and the birth of your daughter, you had come to accept the danger that would come in missions that would place him badly bruised or beaten beyond repair. You would always be there to tend to each and every single wounds and be the shoulder for him to cry on when he was good and ready.
But nothing could have ever prepared you for another unknown call coming from your phone. You’ve always expected it to be your husband, checking up on you before the mission begins like he always does. But the voice of an unknown man was the last thing you would have expected.
He called himself John Price and you know the man from your husband’s few conversations when he talks about the people he works with. You had feared for the worst as soon as he had explained that your husband has just gotten out of surgery after a mission. A few broken bones and a superficial gunshot wound. But it was enough to worry you as Simon himself has been asking for you as soon as he was out of surgery and in lucid consciousness.
On most days you were calm and collected, but it was the panic of seeing the worse of your husband that had you carrying your two year old and a baby bag towards your car with a mission. The Captain had asked if you could possibly have someone come get him but you know no one else better to check up on him but yourself and your daughter that was all the more excited about being in the car.
The travel was rather long and rather tedious knowing you and your husband had agreed to live away from the city and away from any dangers that may come to you and the baby while he was gone. You had appreciated the distance, the peaceful tranquility that came with being away from the bustle and noise of the city but not this time. It had meant a longer journey and a more hectic one since the base was all the way across the other side.
Once you had arrived to the base, all eyes were on you. Many eyes had lingered on you when they heard your last name. You know for a fact that your husband’s name and reputation beholds him, but you never knew nor did you ever try to question to what extent. It unnerved you more was how avoidant everyone had been of you aside from one of the soldiers tasked with bringing you and your daughter to your husband.
Outside the infirmary room was a rugged man. The man exudes an air or control and intensity and rugged strength, but not as much as your husband did. His posture was upright, suggesting discipline and years of military training. Dressed in an all too familiar tactical gear, he gives off a no-nonsense vibe that immediately commands attention.
“Ma’am, my name is John Price.” The man introduced the moment he caught sight of you.
You spoke your name and your daughter that was surprisingly all too mum in the whole situation, you were surprised that she wasn’t crying at being in an unfamiliar environment like she usually was.
“It is best to assume that you two are Simon’s wife and daughter, I presume?” He inquired.
You took a moment to think if it was alright to agree with his statement. Knowing your husband and the array of precaution he had come to give you, you were uncertain if you could trust the man with such a fact.
“Yes.” You spoke, dealing with the consequence later as there was something more important that needed your attention. “How’s he doing?” You inquired wanting to change the subject now.
“Stable. A little loopy from the drugs, but he’ll make a fast recovery.”
You nodded, hesitation of asking if you would be allowed to see him now in his state.
“He was looking for you.” He opened the door for you and you were welcomed with your husband in bed with his mask still on.
“Dada!” Your daughter squealed upon the sight of your husband groggy still.
You watched as his head turned to look at you and your daughter.
“Love…” He grunted wincing at the pain that you were certain that was coming in full force now.
“I’m here, Baby.” You whispered approaching him, cupping his cheeks gently. “Me and Cassie are here.” You assured trying your best to hide the tears that were fighting to fall at the sight of him.
~
When Simon Riley had opened his eyes, the first thing that he had come to notice was the pain that surrounded his entire body. The next thing that he noticed was the warmth that wrapped around his calloused hand.
Turning his head he saw the most beautiful sight that he had the fortune of seeing in his life. His wife and daughter. The more pressing matter was the fact that you were asleep in an all too familiar uncomfortable plastic chair with one hand on him, and your other arm held onto your baby sleeping on your chest.
“Baby…” He grunted harsher than he intended.
Slowly blinking away, your eyes immediately turned down towards your daughter before your eyes met his own.
“How are you holding up?” You inquired immediately, trying your best not to wake your sleeping daughter still cradled snuggly on your chest.
“Like a bitch.” He muttered appreciating being able to swear with his daughter still asleep. “But I’ll live.”
“I’m glad.” You sighed, rubbing his hand tenderly. “I was so worried about you when your boss called me. I thought something worse has happened.” You whispered.
“I didn’t really want to worry you—or have you see me like this.” He muttered.
“I know.” You nodded gently letting go of his hand to cup his cheeks that still was covered with his mask. “But I’m still as glad to be here right now knowing you’re alright. Me and Cassie get to see you’re alright.”
At the mention of your daughter, Simon noticed his daughter begin to get fussy from your chest. Gently pushing himself up until he sat on his bed much to your protest, he took your now crying daughter into his arms, gently laying her onto his chest and how quick she was sated in his warmth.
“Daddy’s here, Angel. I’m here.” He began to whisper, pulling off his balaclava to kiss his daughter onto top of her head. “I’m not going soon for a while. I promise.”
He has yet to tell you about the doctor’s insistence that he takes a few months off. It would be something he would tell when you get home. Once he finishes up with the paper works, he’ll let you know of the good news. For now, all that’s important was he had you and his daughter here with him, even in his most vulnerable state.
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jays-bonnie-on-the-side · 28 days ago
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JUST A LITTLE
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PAIRING : beau arlen x younger fem!reader
SUMMARY : beau lies before coming clean.
WARNINGS : age gap. strong language. angst. depression. mentions of (you’ll see at the end 😘—don’t worry, it’s not bad)
A/N : sorry for making y’all wait so long! it took me forever to make up my mind on how i wanted to continue this fic. there will be one more part after this so stay tuned but for now, i give you part 2 of are you ashamed? ! (hope y’all ain’t too disappointed with this)
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“Wait a second, he did what?” Cassie asks, her eyebrows drawn together.
“And you let him live?” adds Jenny.
You had driven home and attempted to sleep everything off, but you couldn’t; Your mind only raced. After tossing and turning, you decided to seek unbiased advice from your mutual friends. So, you visit Dewell and Hoyt Private Investigations' office.
“I can’t believe he would do such a thing,” says Denise.
“Yeah, well, neither can I. I’ve never seen that side of Beau…” You stare off into the distance, replaying the memories that occurred earlier this morning. “I know he didn’t mean to be rough. I know that. You should've seen the hurt in his eyes when I told him we were done...I don’t know. Maybe I should just talk to him.”
“Well, now’s your chance. He’s coming over.” Jenny points out.
Everyone looks out the large windows, and sure enough, Beau and Emily cross the street, walking right towards the building.
“Fuck,” you murmur under your breath. “I should go. Can I use the back door?”
But he sees you. He sees you in their office. His heart races, and so does his feet. Before anyone answers you, he opens the door. Is it too late to leave? You ask yourself. The answer’s yes. Emily walks in behind her father, a big smile on her gentle face as she greets the ladies with warm embraces. Beau would’ve followed his daughter’s actions if he didn’t feel the tension in the room. He knew he screwed up, and he knew they knew too. Her gaze shifts towards you, smile unfaltering.
She extends her hand, introducing herself, “Hi, I’m Emily.”
You take her hand, and a whirlwind of emotions overcome you. You’ve waited—dreamed—of this moment, but it was nothing like you envisioned, not under these circumstances. Instead, you swallow your feelings and return her bright smile.
“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard such great things about you. I’m Y/N.”
Beau hadn’t taken his eyes off you. He, too, had many emotions swirling within. Every possible thought rushes to his head, wondering how to play this. He hadn’t expected to see you here, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking for you all over town. Emily could tell he was distracted as they bounced from store to store, but she brushed it off, assuming it was just his hatred of shopping.
“Awe, thank you. It’s nice to meet you, too.” She looks at her dad and sees his stare. She glances between you two. Feeling the tension, Emily asks, “Do you know each other?”
His attention snaps to his daughter, and his breath catches in his throat. She’s my girlfriend, he wants to blurt, but it doesn’t pass his lips. You wait, desperate to hear his answer. It was his chance to come clean, to declare your love.
“No,” He shakes his head, and your heart sinks. Beau looks at you and raises his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Nice to meet you. Like a sucker punch to the gut, you’re left breathless. Your heart shatters into a million pieces. That was it…he made his decision. He erased the last seven months like it was nothing, erased you like it was nothing.
All eyes are on you, waiting for what you'd do next. With a swallow, you choke down on a sob. His hand hangs in the air, and you know if you touch him, you’ll crumble in front of everyone. Your bleeding heart begins to quicken, and your breathing becomes uneven; You need to leave.
"I—" You try to speak, but your voice fails. Tears threaten your vision, and you know you need to get outta there. After clearing your throat, you excuse yourself, "I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Emily."
You bolt of out the office without giving her a chance to reply. This particular afternoon was busier than usual, so you had to park further away. Once you get to your car, you realize you left your keys on Denise's desk. Fuck, you wanted to shout. Just your luck. You couldn't go back in there, not with him there, not with everyone else, and NOT after storming off the way you did.
Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck! Okay—I can sit inside my car, call one of the girls, and have them bring out my keys. You pull the car door handle, and low and behold, it's locked. Panic sets in. Maybe I didn't pull hard enough. You try again. Nothing. And again and again and again, until you either look like a thief trying to break into the car or a crazy person who can't take a hint. No, no, no. Please don't do this to me! In frustration, you pound your fists against your vehicle. This can't be happening.
You hear footsteps approaching your car, and when you glance over, you see it’s the cowardly man who disowned you. He stops near your front bumper, keys in hand. Why him? Why did he have to come out and give me my keys? It's clear you’re desperately trying to avoid him, but if you ever planned on going home, you needed to engage. With a huff, you walk over and snatch them away.
As you turn around, he grabs your wrist. "Sweetheart, please—"
The stun of your open hand colliding with his breaded cheek interrupts his sentence. The impact had forced his head to the right, and despite the tingling in your hand, you feel the tiniest bit better. Your chest rises and falls as you begin to see red. His head slowly turns to you, reminding himself he deserves that and more.
"Don't you dare try to feed me some lame-ass excuse! Pretending not to know me? You've got to be fucking kidding!" You shout, fighting back tears. "I can't believe I wasted all those months on you, and for what? To be disrespected and thrown to the side like trash? I deserve more!"
"I know that, and I am so sorry. I-I panicked. But I swear, I’m gonna make it up to you. I just need some time—“
“No, Beau. You need someone your own age,” You say bitterly. It was the hard truth, but you both needed to hear it. “It was my mistake for thinking we were more than what we were.”
The overbearing weight of harsh clarity begins to root itself in your soul. He kept you around ‘cause he wanted to, not because he needed you. He didn’t need you like you needed him. You fell head over heels the first time you met Beau, and you were sure he felt the same way, too. Clearly, it was your mistake. You begin to feel weak, so you turn to head back to your car.
"Don't say that..." Then, you faintly hear the words that were now an insult, “I love you.”
As you swing open the passenger door, barely holding it together, you remark, “Well, you certainly have an odd way of showing it.”
After giving him more time than he deserves, you throw your key into the ignition and speed away from your ex, incredibly fragile and numb all at once. That was two rough weeks ago. Beau hadn't slept much since your last interaction, and neither had you. Every night, he'd lay in bed, clutching your bra; It was the only thing he had left of you. When he did sleep, he dreamt of everything as it should be, with you by his side.
He hated being alone with his thoughts. All the horrible things he did to you haunted him. So, on days when he wasn't scheduled to have Emily, he occupied himself with work. Everyone walked on eggshells around him. He was no longer the easy-going Sheriff they all knew him to be. No, he was a ticking time bomb. One wrong move would set him off, but not with his daughter.
One night, he and Emily sat outside as the rom-com of her choice played before them. He didn't want to watch the cheesy love story, especially when his love life was a living hell, but his daughter wore him down. A while into the film, she turned to her father, observing the way he stared through the projector screen. He wasn't even watching the movie. Instead, he was trying his best to ignore it.
A frown crossed her face as her heart ached to see him feeling so blue. Emily wondered if it had anything to do with you. She was both intelligent and intuitive, just like her parents. But it didn’t take a genius to see something was going on between you two, and given the way you had practically run off, it only added to her suspicion. She mustered the courage to speak with her father as he wasn't the most communicative person.
"Dad?"
He turns to his daughter, a distant concern written on his face. “Hmm?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Beau looks back at the screen, pretending to watch, but she pulls his attention again. “No, I mean…in general.”
“‘Course, I am,” He lies before asking the question he hoped she didn’t have a valid answer to. “Why’d you ask?”
“Well, you’ve been kinda down lately, and you haven’t been yourself.”
“Well, Em, work’s been—“
“I know it’s not just work. There's something more you aren't telling me. I’ve been talking to Jenny and—“
“Why are you—what'd she tell you?” He inquires sternly, his heart beginning to race. I swear if she fucking told my daughter..!
“Nothing, just to talk to you,” The urgency in his question added to her nervousness, but she pushed through. “Is it because of Y/N?”
His heart stopped at the mention of your name. It was the first time he'd heard it since that horrible day weeks prior. No one knew of Beau's betrayal besides the girls, and no one dared bring you up, knowing they would receive the backlash. He was grateful there hadn’t been someone stupid enough to do so but had felt alone without anyone to talk to, especially when the only person he wanted to speak to was you. You never answered any of his calls, but he remained relentless.
He adjusted uncomfortably in his chair. It was the question he hoped she wouldn't ask. His mouth opened and closed, resembling a fish, as he struggled to answer. He wanted to tell Emily the truth, but the fear crept in. He didn't want to lie anymore. Beau wanted you back, but he was afraid of what his daughter would say.
“What makes you think it’s because of her?” His voice nearly cracked.
“Ever since that day at the office, you’ve been off. I can see how sad you’ve been, and I’ve only ever seen you like this twice: after your partner died and when you and Mom were divorcing. And from the way you and Y/N looked at each other…I don’t know. It seemed like there was something more going on.” He would’ve smiled at her observation if he wasn’t heartbroken, replaying all the memories in his head. She detected his sorrow when she spoke, and despite her reluctance, she asked, “Dad, who is she?”
His heart softened. It was time. He should’ve told Emily all those opportunities ago. She deserved it, and so did you. The two most important women in his life were right about him: He didn’t respect you enough to profess the best relationship he’s ever been in to his family, and he’s never been sadder than how he’s treated you. So he takes a deep breath and confesses.
“She’s my girlfriend. Or was…I don’t know. I’ve hurt her in more ways than I care to admit.”
Emily slowly nods, taking in the not-so-shocking news. She knew there had been someone making him happier than usual. Ever since you came into the picture Beau wasn’t hung up on his ex-wife anymore. Sure, he still cared for her, but if it hadn’t been for his daughter, he would’ve forgotten about Carla completely when he met you. Em was a little concerned about the visible age gap you and her father shared, but she didn’t say so.
“Pretending you’ve never met her in front of everyone was pretty harsh. I can’t imagine how hurt she is.”
Hearing it out loud, especially coming from his daughter, brought tears to his eyes. How could he do that to you? Hell, if someone ever did that to Emily, he’d kill them. He’d make sure the fella would never hurt her again. So, how did he stand a chance at winning you back?
“Yeah,” He nodded as he looked at the ground in defeat. “I wouldn’t blame her if she never wants to see me again. I just…I’m so in love with her.”
“How long have you two been together?”
He swallowed hard. Your anniversary was next week, and he wasn’t ready for it. “Almost eight months.”
“Why haven’t you told anyone?”
He grimaced. “I have. ‘Just haven’t told you or your mom.”
“So you told everyone else before your own daughter?” She was angry, and her tone showed it. “Do I mean that little to you?”
“No, Em, that’s not—“
“Then why?!”
“Because I was scared!” He blurts. “I was scared that you wouldn’t like her. I was scared you wouldn’t approve, that the age gap was too hard to get passed. But none of that matters anymore because I let my doubts push her away. I lost her.”
His shoulders slumped, and his head had hung in dejection. The tears finally fell as he whispered the last sentence again. I lost her. He refused to believe it before, but it was inevitable. He was finally honest with Emily and himself. She had seen her father tear up before but never cry. Her heart ached to see him so distraught.
“If you really love Y/N, you have to fight for her. I can overlook the age gap but you also should’ve given me the chance to, especially if she makes you happy. I want you to be happy, and I know Mom does, too.”
Beau wiped his tears dry, and so did his daughter’s words. “I know. I should’ve told you sooner, and I’m sorry I didn’t.” Despite the newfound comfort, it was too late for him. “But I think I ruined any chance with Y/N. I’ve hurt her for so long…I don’t deserve her.”
“Don’t say that!” Emily insists. “You are an amazing person, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my dad.“
“Thank you, sweetheart.” He gave her a small, lopsided smile.
“You deserve to be happy, and I know she’s the reason you have been. That’s why I already like her. I’d really love to meet her as your girlfriend.”
“I don’t think that’ll happen.”
“If she’s put up with you all this time, I know you can win her back. I’ll even give you some ideas!”
More than anything, he wanted to make you his again. His heart yearned for it. He admired his daughter’s eagerness to help make up for his mistakes. Hope began to fill his soul and gave him the encouragement he needed. And with the first real smile in weeks, he vowed to do whatever it took to win you back.
Meanwhile, back in your apartment, you hold the home pregnancy test in your hand. Your heart pounds out of your chest as you stare at the result.
Positive.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
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