#◜sera: headcanon.◞

[gethellbcnt]

as it is now officially Sunday, i have something to announce!

Sera does, in fact, have that holy chocolate cake ; alongside this, she's also rocking killer melons.

the character designers are not allowed to make her mildly swan-coded and NOT go through with giving her those shapes!!

[deadghosy]

How would (Separate) Hazbin hotel (Demons &Angel) react to a green thumb gardener whose elegant, classy and attractive and she went to hell by mistake but it was a happy one (She's not completely weak as she has her plant to protect her and everything)

HAZBIN HOTEL X GARDENER! READER

prompt: a common mistake made demons and angels swoon over a gardener who just wants to take care of her/his plants

cw! Sir Pentious is alive for this so he can witness your beauty in flowers💗

note! I listened to Lana Del Rey while making this lol.

HELL

You didn’t know you were supposed to be in heaven as you started your own flower shop. It was the biggest know hell flower store with actual flowers.

You were practically poison ivy, but more kind and definitely calmer. Hell, even some of your regulars call you poison ivy. Mostly because if people touch you metaphorically the wrong way, then you technically show them a harsher side of you. Literally, a plant impaled a sinner trying to rob your store. 

What you didn’t except to get friends or even people interested into you as you just have a normal as shop you dreamed of before dying.

“Welcome to my flower shop, what can I help you with?” You said with a soft smile as a flower vine is watering other flowers in the background. Some imps, sinners, and hell borns go all the way to just see you and your flowers.

I can see you wearing a flower crown or just flowers in your hair. Like dead ass giving rapunzel. Possibly so, your alive flowers and vines had made that for you as you worked.

You most definitely wear those cute gardening outfits like overalls or those dresses if you prefer one of them or both.

See this is what I can imagine, I can imagine the whole damn hotel having a flower competition and you show up with a big ass plant with a neat pink bow on it 😭. You definitely had a smile as you drank tea with a secret smirk.

I can see you visiting the hotel Charlie has as she invited you to do some flower decor for a reopening of the hotel.

Imagine how pissed you were when a couple of sinners came in to make your shop look like shit. But you wasn’t gonna stand for it as you raised your hand grabbing the sinners by their necks with vines. “If you want flowers, I wouldn’t mind making you a funeral for you to have some.” You said with venom as the sinner practically shitted themselves as they were thrown out the windows of your shop.

A sinner had thrown a Molotov cocktail once in your shop all because he thought it was weird to have a “girly” flower shop in hell. As the fire spreads in your shop, you sighed having plant vines cover you in a big ball as one of the vine slither to find the culprit. After finding the culprit, you forced them to clean your shop since killing someone for such a petty crime like that in your opinion isn’t worth killing. You can always make a new shop and fix it.

Vaggie most definitely knows you as you hooked her up with flowers that Charlie might like. You told her Charlie seems like a simple girl would just like roses since they represent romance. And basically it was Vaggie and Charlie’s date night. And it was a success.

Angel dust loves how you don’t judge him for who he is by his work. But he definitely loves how you two gossip over some tea, well he drinks while you drink tea or water. You are like an older sister/brother figure to him. He loves resting in your bean bag you have in the back, he could just come in and and lay down straight.

I headcannon your whole palette to be like green, pink, yellow and white. Literally just spring ass colors to seem classy with your flower shop.

I can imagine you having the personality of applejack but more of a flower and gardening person as gardener! Reader were most definitely born in the south. Like I can imagine reader to be a mix of applejack, rarity, fluttershy but 100% of applejack’s honesty and a lot of Rarity’s elegance.

Niffty adores you! Literally she goes in your store to rant about she wants the hotel to smell fresh and ready. And you hook a sista up with how you give her scented plug in. She immediately starts worshipping you like Alastor which makes Alastor raise a brow seeing a shine of you in her room and drawings of you.

Charlie immediately loves how vaggie and angel ador you and find you as a loyal friend. She would love to have you at the hotel as a resident. She could even beg Alastor or her dad to make a flower shop for you to even stay longer by briding. She would also try to become your friend for her to succeed.

Sir Pentious went to your store to apologize again to Alastor as he felt that Alastor didn’t forgave him. He was scared you weren’t a kind “sinner” that only had a flower shop to scam people for their money. But when you spoke with kindness and care towards the snake demon. He felt calm in your presence, to the point when he got his flowers. He gave you one which made you smile at him and put it in your hair. He blushed and ran off.

The egg boiz love too appear in your store as their boss, penthouse is very nervous to talk to such an attractive person like you. You welcome the eggz to your humble store as you give them flowers to give back to the hotel staffs.

Angel and Cherri most definitely asked you to give them flowers to match their personality. You gave them both a Carnation flower which you thought was good for their personality. Or even a Lilly.

Husk kept seeing the crew leave the hotel to see them come back with flowers. He grumble confused at why they kept getting flowers. That is until he asked Charlie, and Charlie ranted about what a beauty and how kind you are. Husk raised a brow thinking you were putting up an act, so he went to see you. Let’s just say he got a rose coming back with a soft smile and a purr.

The Vee’s heard about you, Vox heard about you first and looked you up to see you are a popular florist and gardener with the power of Chlorokinesis. The power to mentally and physically control flowers. Vox smirked hearing about your 5 star rating shop. If it was that high ranked with people commenting it on yelp saying you were the best business to be at. You definitely got his attention at most.

Lucifer went to your store for some flowers to give to his daughter, and when he heard how amazing your store was. He went to se it himself. He definitely felt your pure spirit making him stumble into confusion on why you weren’t in heaven already. But he got his flowers and felt with a cup of tea you gave him. He shortly came back at the end of the day to give you his own flowers as he smiled with a snake smile and left leaving a note that says, “you’re welcome to come stay at the hotel! :)”

Alastor finally decided to meet you after hearing all the good things you did for the hotel and for the staff. He must say he was jealous how you won their hearts so damn quickly. He went to your store to see what’s all the fuss about and got hit with a lavender scent in his nose. He covered it as he wasn’t use to such sweet smell in hell as it’s filled with fire and blood. And there you were sitting there with a smile as warm plate of teas sat by you. You welcomed him as he made chat with you to find your heart pure with gold. He also left with a rose and a genuine smile.

I imagine how sweet you get your own flowers by regulars and your friends at the hotel as they love your passion about plants.

Headcannon on Gardner! Reader to be a Lana Del Rey fan as the song to match her/him is “born to die” 💗🦆

Vox was obviously the first Vee to meet you face to face as he had researched you so many times on the internet to get any scoop of you to only end up with an empty hand. So he decided to see you in person and smile with a charming one to see you greet him with a smile and show him the recommended flowers for loved one and family. He was not into the flowers as he watched the plant vines in the back work like hands. He smirks trying to use his hypnosis, but failed greatly as a flower in a vase covered his sighting of you. Thanks to your plant vines.

Velvette was the second one to come to your store as she was not impressed at how “boring and plain” it was in your shop. She was snarky about the decor and gave you tips on how to make it “pop” in here. You just smiled, and with a snap of your fingers, the decor changed to a more fashionable flower place. It made the female Vee almost drop her jaw and composure. But she can’t let some flower store shock her. So she left with one last snarky comment under her breath.

Valentino definitely came in last to see what was up with your whole popularity of your “business” of flowers as he was so busy working his porn industry. So when he walked in yo see you reaching for some flower seeds to get for a customer. He grabbed your waist, wanting to seem flirty only for it to backfire as a vine punches him away from you. You already knew who this bastard was, and you weren’t gonna let him get you like how he got angel. So during his entire visit at your shop, you made it a living hell. Literally.

I can see the Vee’s coming back every weekday to try and get you to be their little flower pet, but you ain’t buying it. 😘

You most definitely have a vine hammock in the corner of your store as you just sit there and nap during your breaks.

Imagine how cool and sweet you are to the imp and hell born children that come to visit your store for father day and mother day. Hell, even valentines days

I can headcannon that gardener! Reader has once in their hell life down there had to drag out a rude Karen ass bitch by their hair. You fuck with their plants, you fuck with them.

Imagine how chill you are just sipping tea as your plants and vines attack some dude trying to steal your sunflower seeds. Yeah, no one gets out without being traumatized by plants 😍

You came into the hotel once and immediately got love bombed by everyone. But not in a manipulate way, they just appreciate how amazing you are to people even the staff at most. They go as far to throw you a “welcoming” party 💗

Lucifer had most definitely sent ducks with mini flower crowns and a Gardner duck to you as he finds you very elegant and beautiful in your own way. He even accidentally tries to court you with his wings when he leans against at the front desk of your store staring into your eyes.

HEAVEN

Adam had eventually was sent to take you back into heaven as sera realized her mistake. You willingly went with Adam who smirked at your sweet smile and took you up by your hand. Like, let’s say whatever happened in the hell section didn’t happen as you just had a bad time in hell itself.

St. Peter immediately greets you, making feel welcome to your new home. He even baked you cookies with a smiley face. He tries to make chit chat with you when he isn’t on duty getting people into the gates. He literally visits your workplace in the flower store you own, bringing cookies, making sure you are okay. Hell-, I meannn heaven gods..he must be a househusband cause GYATT DAMN this man is making sure you are well and healthy in heaven’s care. 💗💗

Sera most definitely have showed you around heaven with a please smile to see a Gardner. You would’ve been great for the Garden of Eden, is what she says in her head as you smile at the trees and potted plants around. You even showed the seraphim your powers, and she must say that she was pleased and made you a gardener around heaven and even your own garden shop and house.

Emily most definitely tries to go visit you everyday to try and find flowers that match you so you can be surprise when she buys you flowers herself. You and Emily definitely have a sibling relationship at most because of how she looks up to you in a gardening way as she also wants to impress you by making her own garden and green house. She also makes sure you take breaks as she wants to help with the customers as you take a break in the back. Your friendship with her is so wholesome and lovely.

Adam likes how classy you are, you don’t even cuss him out when you are angry at him. You just put your hand in his face and walk away. Sassy, but classy enough to not curse someone the fuck out. Yeah sure that might’ve turned him on a bit at how hot and “bitchy” that was of you. Cause no one has ever rejected the “Dickmaster”. So it was his duty to make you his friend…sorta😨. But it’s all fun and games at how you guys are like frenemies at most since Adam actually can’t stand you, but still flirts at how attractive and kind you are. Hell even strong minded.

The angels absolutely love coming in your store! They find every single plant and flower you made incredible. You practically almost run out of business when it’s Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. But you can’t complain when they leave so much heaven bucks for you to get more plant seeds and such. The angels also love how pure of gold your heart is as you even give some off free for the heaven borns and winners.

Big headcannon on how your Gardner outfit in heaven, the palette is a soft green and pink pastel. But Adam and Sera had thought about you wearing a gold, white, and blue type of Gardner outfit. They want you to stay pure and mighty.

OOOH IMAGINE HAVING CUTE ASS WHITE GLOVES 😭😭 LIKE THEY HAVE THOSE STITCHED IN GOLD THREADS AND LIKE THEY ARE SO CUTE AND COMFY INSIDEEE💗💗

Since i headcannon that Gardner! Reader to be a damn Lana Del Rey fan, their song that matches them in heaven is “young and beautiful.” As you are young and beautiful and mostly, you’re in heaven.

Literally imagine Adam just shows up to just degrade you, but it doesn’t work as you just sit there reading your daily newspaper or on your phone to just see plant and gardening instagram from earth and heaven. Adam pouts or even scoffs before taking your phone and acting like a fussy cat wanting attention.

You really don’t give a fuck about Adam but he definitely gives a fuck about you.

The angels sometimes ships you with Adam, but they also ship you with st.peter at how he is basically the house husband and you are the girl boss who works their ass off😭

Lute and Adam are definitely the type to be those teens who visit their local market..dead ass when they are free they just come to your store and just start “window shopping”…but really they just either want to mess with you or actually know about your day.

I can see you literally just chilling, and Adam busts open the store door that has that jingle bell on it so harsh and all he says is. “Wassup bitch!” With his usual grin and a soda cup as you just groan annoyed.

St.peter literally tried to work beside you ok his days off to just see how “calming” your job is. Until rush hour comes😭 that’s when hell itself unleashes with people wanting to grab any scented flower candles and flowers for theirselves. Have mercy on Peter’s soul that he doesn’t get grabbed and clawed all because he said that the last product was in the back. 😭😭

Imagine how cute your damn angel wings must be. Cause I imagine them to be some god damn fairy wings to match a beautiful aesthetic with your flower and gardening store.

I headcannon you actually had thrown Adam like how vaggie thrown the staff like in the episode of “scramble eggs.”

lol I can see you just slapping Adam with your plant vine because of one misogynist joke he made. He had the most whip lashed mark on his face. He stopped making those fücking jokes like that as he just flinches as a vine comes near him. “WALK HIM LIKE A DOGGG!!” 😘😍

Sera loves gaining flowers from you as the angelic guards bring them in as she is doing her work.

Emily also feels the same way as she smiles and makes the guard send you flowers as well for a thank you. 💗🥺 please give this sweet baby a note back saying you appreciate her damn note so much..

Imagine having a whole tea and cookie station by your front desk where people pay. Like they get a nice drink and a snack in case they were hungry and thirsty from their trip to here. 😘☀️ you care about your customers and regulars deeply.

St. Peter had one time mistook the glass doors to be opened and fell back so dramatically onto his ass, he might as well confirm himself as dead 💀

Emily most definitely actually tried to grow a plant or flower to show you how much she learnt from you, only for the damn thing to fail. She wanted to cry and shrivel up in disappointment, but you taught her and help fixed her mistake on what she did at most.

Lute most definitely acts better without Adam, of course she could act better with Adam. It’s just that Adam is her home dog, and she is Adam’s homegirl. So of course they are besties. So with Adam not interfering with you and lute talking one on one for the first time. You two get quite long to the point she grabs your hands and smile. Leaving with a flower you gave her.

Your plants just causally changing into the liked flower of the customer or regular due to your plant magic on sensing what flowers they like supposedly💗

Headcannon on how short you are. Literally you are shorter than lute to Adam and Emily. It’s really funny but to you, it’s annoying asf since Adam picks you up like a stray cat found at the front porch ready to be taken in.

Emily and sera would have tea time with you definitely. Or coffee if they prefer. You don’t gossip of course but just lift each other up and talk about hanging out later in the days or weeks later. Heck even the day later maybe if Emily is very eager.

Lute most definitely had thrown flowers in your face as she isn’t use to showing affection towards a person she actually admires. Yeah she admires Adam, as a boss and best friend. But there is something about you that makes her stumble on her words.

You had to actually stay home once, forced by sera who got told by Adam you were overworking yourself. Adam and sera hated it as sera showed go to your job looking serious. Forcing you to stay in bed until you had a good sleep for the week.

Imagine just gardener! Reader literally accidentally making Adam spit out a four leaf clover as they were saying a spell in Latin to have four leaf clovers for St. Patrick’s day.

I headcannon Adam sometimes tries to court you with his wings, and you are confused as hell as you aren’t use to being courted by some fucking feathers.

I can see you having a potted plant pet beside you. It was practically a sapling as it smiled with heaven magic and told positive affirmations to waking customers. It’s so fuckin adorable

I imagine you just sleeping as your overworked at your store and Adam comes in pissed off you didn’t come home. So he literally picks you up over his shoulder and walks Home. He has the damn key to your house but he decides to just go to his house and lay you on his bed as he sleeps on the couch grumbling.

St.Peter, after that little incident with him walking into a glass door. This mofo literally puts his hands out towards any glass door 😭 like a little kid being traumatized after a glass maze. It’s so funny but so sad.

A young heaven born had brought you back a freaking flower crown in your most favorite flowers and you were so amazed. You gave the small little angel a flower crown of their own.

The visits are always welcomed to your store as Adam brings you his own set of flowers to try to impress you. 💗 you snickered seeing the note that says, “i hope you like it..bitch. *middle finger drawing* I heard this plant was your favorite.” Sweet, but sour ass motherfuker. 😭😭

[cheesesoda]

resident evil men as parents!

a/n: i had this idea randomly so i wanted to write some headcanons 💪 lmk if you wanna see the girls as parents! (i might edit these headcanons and add more later too)

cw: slight mention of smoking and alcohol

genre: fluff, headcanons/blurb

______________________________________________

leon kennedy

leon is a girl dad!

cried when she was born

from when she was born until age 1 he would just go into her room at night and watch her sleep

he spoils her fr

youll come home late from work (well past her bedtime)

there they are making ice cream sundaes in the kitchen

he participates in tea parties and he enjoys it

he tells even MORE dad jokes now

very protective

tries to drink less after his daughter is born

chris redfield

chris is a girl and boy dad!

i think he has 1 boy (older) and 1 girl (younger)

like him and claire

was in awe when his kids were born

“oh my god she/he’s so small”

auntie claire babysits all the time

teaches his son to play football

honestly i think he’d be protective of his daughter but not as much as the others because he would teach her self defense from a young age

ethan winters

ethan is a girl dad! (which we already knew)

we already know what hes like as a dad but i’ll still write a bit for him

100% cried so hard when his daughter was born

best husband and father

definitely bought every brand of diapers because he didnt know what to get

hes very affectionate and caring to his daughter

i don’t see him as the type of dad to kill any guy who speaks to her once shes older

if someone breaks her heart tho mans just might kill

albert wesker

wesker is a boy dad!

very calm when he was born

not very affectionate

he does care he just doesn’t show it very well

luis sera

luis is a girl and boy dad!

i think he’d have 2 or 3 kids

if he had 2 kids, he’d have 1 girl (older) and 1 boy (younger)

if he had 3 kids, he’d have 2 girls (oldest & youngest) and 1 boy (middle)

definitely sets a very high bar for how his daughter/s should be treated

teaches his son to be a gentleman definitely

loves all his kids so much

smokes less after his kids are born and would rather die than expose them to cigarette smoke especially when they’re babies

carlos oliveira

carlos is a girl and boy dad!

you cannot tell me this man does not want a village of children

he would probably have 4 kids

i think he’d have 3 boys and 1 girl

has the biggest soft spot for his kids

he’s very non-toxic masculine with his sons

he always tells them he loves them, hugs them, etc.

he also has tea parties with his daughter

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Headcanon/Preference # 36

Gifs NOT mine.

Year posted - 2024

Rating - SFW (some subtle NSFW)

Reading time (roughly) - 4 minutes

• Leon S. Kennedy •

• Leon loves it for so many reasons. Firstly it's because of just how pretty it makes your lips, so kissable and shiny. Secondly he loves it because you love it, plain and simple, he's an amazing boyfriend.

• Leon not only likes seeing what new lip gloss you buy, but he also honestly enjoys going with you to pick out new lip gloss. But he will point out when you've obtained a bit too much lip gloss, and very very subtlety try to coax you into not buying more for a bit, at least until your stockpile has dwindled a bit.

• Leon never knew about plumping lip gloss until after you'd applied it, and kissed him later on. He was so shocked by it, and so confused at first. He grew to love it, but if he's being honest, his favorites are the ones that give your lips a unique tone. Like greys, purples, blues, and oranges.

• Jack Krauser •

• Jack honestly loves it so much it feels very out of character for him. Like he's borderline obsessed with how it looks on you, and even with how it feels when you kiss. So he's always stealing kisses whenever you reapply it.

• He buys you new lip gloss all the damn time. You could have hundreds, and he'd be still buy atleast one more. He especially likes plumping lip gloss, and how it makes your kisses feel electric.

• Jack especially loves how it feels when you kiss his scars while wearing lip gloss. I mean he loves it even without the lip gloss, but with it it's just that much better. Plus it makes it feel like your kisses are lingering on his skin, and he lives for that.

• Albert Wesker •

• Wesker honestly kinda hated it in the beginning of your relationship. He likes how it looks, well he loves it actually. But didn't much care for the feeling of it when you'd kiss.

• Eventually however he grew to appreciate it in a way. It was just another part of you by this point, and if for whatever reason you aren't wearing it when he steals a kiss, he'll just immediately assume something is wrong.

• Sometimes Wesker will forget to wipe off the lip gloss you left behind after a kiss. And when someone makes a stupid comment about it, he might just remark about how he's also got your lip gloss smears on his dick, just to shut them up... Even if it's true.

• Chris Redfield •

• Chris won't lie, he hates it. He likes how it looks on you, and he likes that it makes you happy and all. But Chris simply can't stand the way it feels, to him it just feels oily and gross. You end up getting into the habit of wiping it off his lips for him after every kiss.

• He doesn't mind it in the end, and won't try to convince you to stop wearing it. It's something you like, so he'll tolerate it for you with little complaint. He'll also compliment you whenever he notices you're wearing a new shade.

• Sometimes Chris just likes to take his thumb and run it across your bottom lip. And just watching the lip gloss smear is almost sensual in a way, it definitely feels very intimate that's for sure, but sometimes it almost feels more than just intimate.

• Luis Sera •

• Luis adores it so so much. Your lips are so soft from all the lip gloss use, and now his lips are so much softer from kissing you all the time, and simply never wiping the lip gloss off of his lips. Plus your lip gloss makes your kisses even sweeter.

• Totally keeps an extra tube of lip gloss in his pocket on the off chance you forget yours, or if you happen to loose yours. And yes the one he carries is definitely one of your absolute favorites, and he most likely bought it for you in the first place.

• Luis really enjoys when you pepper his face and neck with kisses, smearing your lip gloss over his warm skin, it feels like a kiss that'll last forever. And he craves more every single time. He's also totally the type to try your lip gloss out for himself, probably with you present even.

• Lucas Baker •

• Similar to Wesker, Lucas hated it from the very beginning... He also likes the way it looks, how shiny and appealing it makes your lips. But he never could stand the feeling of it, even when you'd kiss his cheek.

• Unlike Wesker on the other hand, Lucas still fucking hates it, with a goddamn passion he hates it. And he will literally (and dramatically) wipe his mouth of it after every single kiss, even when he was the one to initiate the kiss in the first place.

• Lucas will 1,000% try to convince you to stop wearing lip gloss. If he can't convince you to stop wearing it all together, he'll at least try to convince you to stop wearing it so much. He will throw a bit of a fit if you won't give it up. He also groans and rolls his eyes whenever you buy new lip gloss of course.

• Billy Coen •

• Billy teases the hell out of you for wearing lip gloss all the time, but don't let him fool ya, he loves it. It makes you look extra cute, especially when you're reapplying it. Plus it feels nice and silky, so it's a win win in his book.

• Despite his teasing, Billy enjoys watching you apply your lip gloss. Sometimes he'll tease you about making a mess, and intentionally smear it real bad. Afterwards stealing a quick kiss of course. And sometimes he'll just randomly get you a new lip gloss and be like it made me think of you. He's so cute it's annoying sometimes.

• Will beg you to keep your lip gloss on when y'all get down an dirty, especially if you're going to give him head. Then he'll tease you for leaving lip gloss smears on him, and then get salty if you try wiping it away.

This ones been sitting in my drafts since last year! Totally forgot about it, and I hadn't finished it, until like 10 minutes ago. ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌ Anyways I hope you enjoyed. I originally wanted it to be longer, but I'm content with it the way it is.

[hells-wasabii]

How would each of the Hell characters(Hotel group, Lucifer, Overlords, Vees) do while cooking entirely on their own? Can be platonic or romantic, whichever you want

A/N: So I know I said 2, but the other one isn’t ready yet I’m still writing it. It’s gonna be pretty big too since it’s that velvette part 2. But I had to get my cat spayed today so I’ve been super busy all day keeping her out of trouble and from hurting herself :/ but anywho, enjoy!

Characters: All that I write for

Type: Hesdcanons (hazbin cast cooking headcanons)

Charlie

With Charlie, I’m a little torn. On the one hand, she’s a princess, so cooking would likely be more of a novelty considering she likely had staff to do it for her. But this is Charlie we’re talking about. She would go out of her way to learn how to cook. Wouldn’t give up either, not until she could do it on her own. I would imagine that she started learning from Vaggie and reading cookbooks.

Vaggie

When it comes to Vaggie, she can cook some, but she’s definitely super humble about it, brushing off any compliments because it’s ‘just food’. If the issue is pressed I can see her getting a little embarrassed about it. It’s mostly dishes that she had been taught while she was growing up, along with basic dishes that don’t necessarily require a honed skill to make.

Angel

Angel can cook, though he doesn’t exactly put much effort into it. I can definitely see him just throwing something together so he can eat and move on with whatever else he has going. Baking is a different story. I can really imagine while he was growing up he would sneak his way into the kitchen while his mother and Molly were baking. He picked it up pretty easily. And as someone who enjoys baking let me just say that his extra set of arms would be so helpful.

Husk

Husk was an entertainer in life, growing up in a casino, learning the trades in the house. That also includes the kitchens. Sure he likely didn’t spend a whole lot of time there but he still picked up a thing or two. So he’d be able to hold his own fairly well when it comes to making a homecooked meal.

Alastor

While it’s canon that the radio demon can cook, I feel like he specifically likes to cook recipes his mother left behind. Cooking recipes from his youth reminds him of joining his mother in the kitchen whipping something up for lunch and helping her prep for dinner. He’s not all that adventurous in the kitchen, though. He likes to stick with what he knows and what he grew up with.

Niffty

Having died in the 50s as a young housewife, I genuinely believe that she at least knows some fad recipes, like those salads and casserole recipes. Jello molds too. But that’s not to say that she wouldn’t know some basic stuff. I can definitely see Niffty being the type to try to create whole new recipes with varying, mostly horrifying results.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is a genius, there’s no doubt about that, but the man can’t cook. At all. He’d burn water honestly. But baking? Oh yeah, he can bake with out a doubt(but not necessarily the decorating part), it’s basically science, but not cook. He’d quite honestly have the Egg Bois help, but let’s be honest here, that’d be a disaster too.

Cherri Bomb

I’ll admit, I wasn’t to sure about Cherri. She just doesn’t seem like the type to cook. Nah. Cherri is the queen of takeout. She can boil water but that’s really about it. Honestly, she’s only really a couple of steps above Sir Pentious, but she can’t bake either. Sometimes though, before Angel went off to the hotel, she would go out and buy ingredients and stuff and go to his apartment and they (he) would make something.

Vox

This man absolutely can cook, and he’s pretty damn good at it too. Considering he’s the television demon, he’s going to have several cooking shows. Hell, he even stars in a couple of them. That being said, he’s not one to do things half-assed. Sure, a lot of cooking shows have stuff that was prepared beforehand, but with Vox’s he goes out of his way to actually make the dishes in real time.

Valentino

I stand by my headcanons from my Valentino posts. He can cook, but it’s honestly a solid 50-50 on whether or not it’s burnt or edible. He’s pretty easily distracted, whether it’s a phone call or something else entirely, so if it's a dish that you have to pay close attention to, it’s likely to not turn out right.

Velvette

Velvette can do some light cooking, but nothing too extravagant. She’s got more important things to do, such as keeping Vox and Valentino on track. With a schedule as busy as hers, I don’t think she would cook often, preferring either Vox’s cooking or takeout. Oh but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t take a picture and post it, because it’s Velvette, of course she does. Oh! But She’s probably been on Vox’s show as some sort of celeb guest type deal, the dish they made definitely stuck with her, so she might make it from time to time.

Zestial

Considering how long Zestial has been around, I would be more surprised if he couldn’t cook. You can’t convince me that after a while he at one point went through hobbies like a revolving door. Cooking absolutely would have been one of them. This man would absolutely try making the craziest things. He’d be up to date on all of the cooking fads, know recipes and cooking methods from several time periods and cultures. With him, there’s no telling what he might cook up next.

Carmilla

While I don’t think that she would really set aside time to cook often, she’s pretty skilled in the kitchen. Carmilla would likely have a couple of nights out of the month set aside to cook a meal with/for her and the girls, a tradition that carried on from their life before hell. She’d even take the opportunity to try new things while cooking.

Rosie

Oh, Rosie can absolutely cook, it’s canon that its a hobby of hers. She’s very well versed in a multitude of cooking methods, and while she may not entirely like a whole lot of new-age gadgets in the kitchen, she can’t really deny the fact that they can be quite useful. I’m willing to bet that she would have an Instapot (they’re great I have two and one of them has an air fryer attachment)

Adam

Adam would never openly admit it, but he knows how to cook. He was the first man, he would have had to learn eventually, even if it was something as simple as preparing meats. That being said, he can grill. I’d be willing to bet that he’d host a little barbeque after the annual exterminations for the exorcists, maybe even enter into grilling competitions.

Lute

Lute’s honestly a bit of a wildcard when it comes to cooking. She might have been able to cook while she had been alive, but nowadays not so much. It had been a long time since she actively made anything, so she’d be pretty rusty. But other than the basics, I don’t really see her being able to be too creative in terms of cooking either. She’d honestly probably stick to what she knows and wouldn’t stray too far away from that.

Emily

I don’t necessarily think that seraphim would really need to eat, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t or don’t. In Emily’s case, I would imagine it as a scenario where she wanted to do something to get closer to humanity. They were her charge after all, or rather their state of happiness. But all humans eat and many find joy in doing so and even in the act of cooking, so she absolutely would be thrilled to learn! She’s getting better at it by the day.

Sera

Sera had likely done the same as Emily when she was a young angel, though I don’t see her sticking with it. I definitely think that she taught Emily to start her on her little culinary journey. She can cook, she just… doesn’t. I’d even go as far as to say it’s been centuries since she’s actually cooked a meal of any kind. That being said, if she were to jump into the kitchen nowadays, she probably wouldn’t have a very easy time finding her way around.

Lucifer

Lucifer is a man of many talents. He can absolutely cook, possibly even Michelin level, he just chooses not to. He likely just considers it a novelty of sorts, considering he has the power to simply poof food right in front of him. Honestly, it’s pretty helpful whenever he’s depressed and doesn’t feel like making anything. But, when it comes to his family and friends, he’s more than happy to whip something up.

Lilith

Another one who would likely consider cooking to be a novelty. Considering how she’s the second most powerful being in hell, and fiercely independent with more important things to worry about. Lilith wouldn’t concern herself with cooking unless it was with her family, and even then it likely didn’t happen that often after Charlie grew up.

Bonus:

Alastor Cat

Would wind up burning what ever building its in down. Was it intentional? Was it an accident? The world may never know

[yurozo]

resident evil headcanons (restaurant au)

characters: leon, chris, jill, claire, rebecca, ada, luis, carlos, wesker. a/n: this was created as a joke between me and my friends that completely spiralled out of control. maybe the stupidest au i've ever created. wesker and friends hit me up if you wanna use this warnings: vulgar language. sorry, i'm canadian, we swear a lot here.

chris redfield (bartender): he's one of the first hires, and has been working as the head bartender forever. he absolutely loves to lowkey trauma dump on customers unknowingly, only to shake the mixer after just to avoid the awkward silence. the owner has had to move the tv's out of the way of the bar because chris will only look at the screen and fuck up every single drink during a big game. refuses leon everytime he tries to come up to the bar for drinks. he knows when it's him, leon always tries to input it in the system as a customer order for a table that isn't occupied, but he always orders his whiskey in a very specific way that outs him. chris will pour it out in front of him to make a point. he eventually had to make a memo about not letting leon take drinks from the bar anymore. to customers, he is every older woman's wet dream. he knows that flexing his biceps will rake him in more tips, so he does it often. also does it when women are being hit on by creepy men to scare them away. the night that he wears tight turtlenecks are his big paycheck days. chris will never admit that he likes when people squeeze his arms. chris is the guy that everyone has a crush on when they first start working there, it's basically an initiation rite at this point. he's the friendliest one of the bunch and gives wholesome big bro vibes and it makes him absolutely irresistible to new hires. (x reader) if you're working alongside chris in the bar, prepare to constantly run into him. he's a massive guy, and maneuvering around a little bar with that hunk is near impossible without a couple collisions. after a while, he's learned to put a gentle hand on your back whenever he has to move behind you, all for the sake of "workplace safety". he loves to sneak food from the kitchen and share it with you, but this man eats like a horse. like the chefs are genuinely surprised on how much food this man can physically fit inside his body, but he will always leave a portion for you. it takes him a long time to make a move because he's afraid of ruining your friendship and workplace relationship. leon kennedy (server): he got hired a little after everyone else, and got put onto the waitstaff because of his looks. however, this man is super awkward with patrons despite being super popular with older women. he's always getting propositions to get set up with someone's daughter and he always unknowingly shoots them down. (customer: "you're really cute, leon: "ok.") he always makes little jokes to lighten the mood and it is an instant vibe killer. the only people who like them are the old ladies who think he's cute, and dads who genuinely think he's funny.

as for the whiskey incident, leon has tried multiple times to pretend being a bartender when chris is on break to sneak himself a drink. he claims that it makes him better at serving, but three broken trays and countless shattered glasses say otherwise.

leon does have kind of a blank expression when patrons try and get him to cut them deals or do stuff for them. he will immediately go back and scream by himself in the freezer after a difficult customer interaction. has cried silently in the freezer after food got in his hair. (x reader) leon always smells like american crew hair pomade, and always showers himself in cologne on shifts he knows he's working with you. you smiled at him one time in the middle of a rush and he had to sit on the curb to collect himself. leon has a horrible tendency to get distracted whenever you're in his general vicinity, and will completely ignore customers whenever you walk by with literal hearts in his eyes. he's one of the fastest people to make a move, mostly because he lacks any form of subtlety. he always offers to drive you home, always offers to take you out to dinner after work like you already don't work in food service, and always keeps something in his bag for you. he loves to lowkey fuck with you on shifts, like putting an ice cube down your shirt to make you pay attention to him. jill valentine (hostess):

another og worker, and the most no-nonsense of them all, especially with customers. if the wait time is thirty minutes, then you're waiting thirty goddamn minutes. she does not care who you supposedly know. she has gotten a couple writeups for visibly rolling her eyes when large parties come in without a reservation. jill demands a break every thirty minutes to sit with chris on the curb while he smokes a cigarette. she calls it her mental health breaks.

pointedly does not listen to leon when he asks her to stop seating people in her section. her favourite past-time is to seat all the old women obsessed with him at his tables to watch him flounder. also gives leon's number out to people who try and hit on her at the job. she's also the only person who can scare the owner, so jill gets away with a lot more than most people. her and carlos often hang out after shifts to drink beer and play pool. her and claire have regular girls nights where jill's convinced into facemasks and terrible movies that only have a one star rating on whatever pirated movie website claire pays for. (x reader) every attempt you make to ask her on a date goes completely over her head. it's only at chris' intervention that she finally gets the hint and takes you out to dinner. she ends up having her own shelf of stuff at your apartment within a week, and she's more than happy to drive you to work everyday. if you have a pet, prepare for jill to come over to spoil it rotten and feign ignorance when you confront her about it. another victim of the 'takes extra long to get ready on shifts you work together'. she knows you like her arms, so she's wearing short sleeves or tanks whenever she has the opportunity, and silently preens in your attention. carlos, (line cook):

without a doubt, the line cooks are the vibe bringers of the restaurant. carlos always takes a hit off his dab pen before coming in, because he claims it makes his cooking taste better. he always gives food to the female servers at any given opportunity, and pretends to not know what the male servers are talking about when they bring it up. (is the reason for 90% of the memos regarding workplace behaviour).

carlos always smells like old spice and food, and there is almost nothing that could break his good mood during a shift. he really is just happy to be there. he's very particular on how the freezer is organized, but loved to label the items wrong to piss off the others (spinch). his mother taught him how to cook, so he has a dedicated dish named after her. carlos always comps her meals when she comes in and doesn't tell anybody about it.

as for the other employees, carlos torments them. he loves to play his own music in the kitchen but has a wildly inappropriate taste for work music. chris banned him from the speaker officially after only playing doja cat for three hours. however, him and luis love to carpool and play brazilian funk with all the windows rolled down at max volume. those two are not allowed to work together too much. he also has a mobile game rivalry with leon, so anytime carlos is missing from the kitchen, you'll find him in the bathroom on his phone. just follow the shitty iphone game music.

(x reader) in all honesty, carlos is the man that's hooked up with the most employees. the mans charm is undeniable. but he has a particular soft spot when it comes to you-- you get to taste-test every dish, there's always a nice cold glass of water waiting for you, and carlos will take the fall for every fuckup at your table. he'll introduce you to his mom when she comes in, but is secretly terrified at how well the two of you get along. don't even get him started on bringing his siblings into the place, he would never hear the end of it. carlos received another memo after engaging in too much pda at work after the two of you got together.

claire redfield (waitress):

one of the main reasons for all the positive google reviews. it's not that she's naturally a super bubbly person, but claire knows how to turn it on and off when her shift starts. jill puts most of the families in her section since claire has a natural gift with kids. however, she is extremely biased when it comes to the food. her face always tells you exactly what she thinks of a dish.

since chris is always within eyesight of her, whenever difficult customers give her problems, she loves to sic chris on them. even just having him stand behind her is enough to give her leverage over someone trying to haggle on a bill. and with carlos' willingness to give food to pretty girls, she never goes hungry during a shift. the girl has her whole shift figured out on a system. she also knows exactly when the lull in service is going to be so she can take extended bathroom breaks.

out of everyone, she's the one to organize after-work hangouts, whether by putting gentle reminders into the group chat, or straight up bullying people to come (ie. jill). everyone always knows when she pulls up from the sound of her engine, but she refuses to let anyone on it. especially luis or leon, for insurance reasons.

(x reader) this girl has the uncanny ability to know what you need, and when you need it. forgot an iced tea for table 20? it's already in her hand on the way. it's her nice little way of showing what a good girlfriend she would be, that she can anticipate your needs. for every group hangout, you are the first person she texts and the primary benefactor of the tips she makes. claire is a no bullshit kind of woman, and when she wants you, you will know. she'll always ask you to hang out, always compliment how you look, tell you constantly how good you are at your job. maybe she'll let you ride behind her on the motorcycle just for the excuse of having your arms around your waist, and does that hot thing where she rubs your arms with her thumb at red lights.

rebecca chambers (head waitress):

dear old rebecca, truly the glue holding everything together. she's incredibly sweet to customers, and to most of the employees. the only reason the floor runs properly is her by the book attitude and highly perceptive personality. nothing is getting by rebecca. she's leon's number two nemesis for being able to drink on the job, and chris' number one nemesis for smoking outside. this woman has the nose of a bloodhound when someone is about to do something stupid.

despite her appearance, everyone is afraid to make her angry. she's lost her shit a total of one time, but it was enough for everyone to be on their best behaviour. she does have a tendency to make passive aggressive comments with such a sickly sweet smile on her face, that you won't even realize she insulted you until long after she's walked away.

least favourite part of the job? she is a hit with old men. they can never leave her alone. second least favourite part? finding ways to sneak vitamins into certain employees food so they can live to see another day. the way that some of the others operate is enough to give her grey hairs.

(x reader) rebecca is intelligent and ambitious, and more than willing to make sacrifices when it comes to you. she's more than happy to take the fall on a screwup if it gets you out of it, wanting nothing more than your smile in return. her main tactic of getting to know you is inviting you over to watch movies, inconspicuously of course, so she can ask you questions over the whole thing. overall, she's an acts of service girl, but is much more subtle about it than claire is. you need a meal prep plan? she's your woman. she wants nothing more than to take care of you, to make your life as easygoing as possible. but the true way to her heart is any form of baked goods. if you make a habit of bringing her pastries before a shift, she's putty in your hands.

ada wong, (head chef):

this woman, god help her, has the hardest job out of them all. not only does she have to babysit her two line cooks, but she's also responsible for cleaning up all the fuckups the waitstaff make. her saving grace is the fact that everyone else is terrified of her, creating a wide berth every time she picks up a knife. everyone can always hear her scolding carlos in the kitchen, who just brushes it off with a laugh.

despite the chaos of a kitchen, ada has the impeccable ability to never get food on herself. even after the dinner rush there is not a single hair out of place, looking just as perfect as when she started. every ingredient is measured precisely, every fda standard met and upheld-- pretty much the counterforce to carlos and luis. secretly, she loves when carlos has control of the speaker, but she would rather die than admit it.

the second an overcomplicated modification comes in, the temperature of the kitchen immediately drops. why the hell does she pore over a menu just for some middle-aged man to think he knows better than her? despite her no-nonsense attitude, she does secretly love fucking with leon. only luis knows about her secret tinder account that she catfished leon on with some fake woman in romania.

(x reader) ada is a woman in tune with herself, in tune with what and who she wants. the second she gets attached, she will display clear favouritism. every new recipe she tries is given to you for taste-testing, claiming that you will always give her the truth. it's a lie, she just like seeing the grin on your face when you enjoy it. if anyone asks her about it, she will vehemently deny it, claiming that you're the only one competent enough at your job. her asking you out is more of a demand than it is a question: this place, this time, wear that dress you know i like. she's not huge fan of pda at the workplace, but she'll always give you that look that screams, just wait until i get my hands on you later.

luis sera (line cook):

this man does not operate on a recipe, he operates on la pasion. really, it just means the foods always a tad spicier than it should be. he also sings obnoxiously loud in the kitchen, to the point that patrons can hear it if they're seated close enough. this man obeys ada for the most part, but he's honestly never touched a measuring cup in his life. he'll stop pouring when his ancestors tell him to stop pouring. however he has the uncanny ability to know exactly when meat is within three degrees of whatever temp they need it cooked to.

the waitstaff either love him or hate him. luis playfully flirts with everyone in his line of sight. who could blame him? he's stuck in a kitchen all day and everyone at this restaurant is unbearably attractive. mostly, he just likes seeing their reactions. leon adamantly begs claire to fetch his plates from the kitchen for him, because luis calls him prince charming every time, and leon hates it.

there's a rumour going around that he got drunk after a shift and made out with another employee, but no one knows who it is. there's a restaurant-wide betting pool on potential victims. also, since luis is the only person who knows about the catfish incident, he loves to ask leon innocuous question while feigning innocence about the whole thing. he's just really invested in his love life, he swears.

(x reader) if you think the flirting is bad towards leon, just wait until he catches an eyeful of you. it is a nonstop barrage of witty compliments, offers to go dancing (or clubbing), and pick-up lines that were definitely picked up off the internet. he's a suave guy, don't get me wrong, but he most definitely gets too many of his ideas from old romance novels. at some point he gives up, telling you straight that he wants to take you out, for reals, and cook you a nice home-cooked meal. maybe some wine. maybe more, if you'll let him. luis is another person who displays clear favouritism, and tries to convince ada into naming a dish after you. it has a horribly cheesy name, but it tastes wonderful and he loves shooting you a wink every time you see him making it (he always makes that dish more carefully than any of the others).

wesker (manager):

this man bought the damn place in a last ditch attempt to save himself from bankruptcy, and unknowingly entangled himself into the lives of the dumbest twenty year olds he's ever met in his life. the only person that he kind of tolerates is ada, because she runs that kitchen like it's the military, and he can respect how batshit terrifying she is. he has a particular vendetta against chris for reasons he can't name, but since chris brings in a lot of money, he can't really refuse. he mostly gets that frustration out by pinning things on chris that leon most definitely did.

he's rarely seen on the actual floor, usually just hanging in the back on the computer doing whatever the fuck he does. (he's playing farmville, but no one knows it's him because of a pseudonym. he also does not know how to turn the music off so if you stand at the right position outside the door you can hear it.)

when he is seen out on the floor, he's wearing the most obnoxious sunglasses and leather jacket known to man, and stalks around the bar to watch for mistakes. you know you fucked up around wesker when there's a sneer on his face. the place almost got robbed once, and wesker threw a punch so fast that everyone stopped trying to piss him off after that.

(x reader) truthfully, he doesn't act too much different around you. it takes months to catch onto the little quirks that show his softness-- just a slight ease in his eyebrow, a softer pitch when addressing you directly. he'll still chew you out for mistakes, but he forgets about it long before he'll let anyone else slide. if things did eventually progress between the two of you, that manager's office is staying locked.

thank y'all for reading! this ended up being way longer than i thought it was going to be lol.

[hazbinwhoree]

Hiii! How about a little part 2 of "Toys" where reader sends Adam a video of them using the you when hes away or at work?👀

Toys pt.2

Part 1

Adam was in the middle of a meeting when he got the text

Attachment: 1 video

From you

He turns the volume off and opens the text under the table, clicking on the video

He almost chokes when he registers what he’s looking at, quickly turning off his phone and looking around to make sure no one had noticed

He quickly excused himself to the bathroom

Once Adam was locked in a stall, he pulled the video up again

He watched it on mute, biting his lip

It was a video of you, using your new toy

You’d propped your phone up and spread your legs in front of the camera, giving Adam a perfect view

The video was only thirty seconds long, but Adam was painfully hard

He jerks off to the video, vowing to make you pay for teasing him later

Finds an excuse to leave work early

Surprises you by coming home early

When you ask what he’s doing home early he replies “I know that fake dick can’t satisfy you as good as the real one can.”

Makes you cum on the toy before making you cum on his dick

[patos-chan]

They’re comfortable together

[cry-ptidd]

I was thinking about how Alucard reacts to sunlight and it triggered my neurodivergent Alucard headcanon where it's not harmful to him but it's like when autistic people touch a texture that gives them full-body shivers

[writteninlunarlight-years]

@literallurker gave me this idea, and I wanted to share my headcanons on what I think everyone's MBTI is and why I believe that.

Charlie -ESFJ (Consul)

I mean, come on, this is so Charlie-coded. She loves helping people and putting a smile on their faces. She gets enjoyment and fulfillment from helping her people and those who lean on her the most. She is extroverted, in touch with her emotions, and in touch with others' emotions as well.

Vaggie -ISTJ (Logistician)

Vaggie respects how things should be run; look at how she reacts to Lucifer's appearance. She, however, is undeniably loyal and follows her heart when it comes to the one she cares about the most. She is quiet and reserved, only stepping up to the plate when it involves backing up Charlie.

Lucifer -ENTP (Debater)

Let's look at Lucifer's past, present, and seeming future. In the past, Lucifer questioned many things and wanted to know why and find out why things were how they were. Lucifer is a good leader when he is not depressed, he also shows pretty normal Extrovert traits he is just awkward cause he dedicated so much of his life to one person not the collective. We saw at the end of the show his true kingly and debater personality show where he agreed to help stick it to the angels and help Charlie.

Alastor - ESTP (Entrepreneur)

This man is a business tycoon, can we all agree? He has thousands of souls. He is a smooth talker and great at making deals. He has to be extroverted for that. On top of that, the only time we see this man dwell on his past is when he talks about his contract at the very end. Besides that, he is rooted in how he can benefit himself right here, right now. He also knows how to manipulate the situations he is in to benefit himself, something the Entrepreneur type is known for.

Angel Dust - INFP (Mediator)

Okay, hear me out, Angel is an actor; the Angel we see 90% of the time is not the real true him. When we see him in his raw form, he is really quiet and calm. He spoke of dreams and ideas he once had. Angel is forced to look extroverted when, in reality, he is the happiest in a small group of close people. He is happy making his friends happy. He loves helping even if he covers it up with his 'need' for sex and drugs.

Husk - INFJ (Advocate)

Okay, controversial, I know, but let me cook. Husk in the show fits this so well. He is compassionate towards Angel and the others, he is wanting to rebel against the contract system, he doesn't care about being powerful anymore now that he has lost all power. He is just a boy who loves his spider and friends. He has no issues helping Charlie the minute he finds out he was summoned for her, not Al.

Sir Pentious -INTP (Logician)

Man is socially awkward and inventing stuff left, right, and sideways. He is always curious to build the next best thing to make him the next powerful being. He never falters from his passion, either. He is passionate about the tasks he is given, which explains his displeasure in failing the Vees. Yet when Charlie gives him a new task, and he can excel at that, he is as happy as ever.

Niffty - ISTP (Virtuoso)

We have literally seen Niffty create the most horrid and cutest things out of her bugs. She is very attached to those she is close to, and she always has something going on in her mind. I think Niffty is a prime example of if it is in my head, I will be doing it, no questions asked.

Cherri Bomb - ENFP (Campaigner)

Cherri is the definition of a free spirit and a kind heart. She loves Angel deeply and would do anything to help cheer up her best friend. On top of that, she also has a no fucks filter and kicks ass to protect those she cares about. She is open and honest about her life style and her energy. Ready to take on the world one day at a time the best way she can.

Sera - INTJ (Architect)

Sera follows the rules and becomes the best she can be. She was given the directive of being the head angel and ran with it. She will do anything to keep her power and knowledge of the world. She is very smart and analytical when it comes to situations. Though she is in a powerful position, she is naturally introverted, often letting Emily take on more people-centric roles while she stands back and takes on more law and order roles.

Emily - ENTJ (Commander)

All right, this is more of what I just hope Emily becomes. In the span of minutes, we watched Emily completely turn her back on fellow Angels, all because she had learned what was really happening in hell. She would fight for the right cause and rally the troops for it. She is an energetic and open character who fights for what she believes is right. Seeing Pentious get redeemed, you bet she will be fighting for Charlie's plans.

Lute - ISFJ (Defender)

Okay, another may be controversial, but let me cook, please. Lute is super caring and concerned for her people, whether that is Adam, the exorcists, or angels as a whole. Yes, she looks like a big bad villain in the show because, well, she is. However, step into Lutes' shoes, and she is just trying to protect the peace of her people and family.

Adam - ENFJ (Protagonist)

He is another person who hear me out please needs to be looked at from his perspective. Adam is, by all means, the main protagonist in the Bible and in the world of heaven. He does what he believes is right and fights for what he believes is right. Even if he is an asshole, look at him from a different perspective than just through the eyes of Charlie, our narrator, through Hazbin Hotel. Adam believes his greatest purpose in life is to be the first man everyone has to look up to.

Vox -ESFP (Entertainer)

I mean, this is like writing itself; Vox is charismatic, has silver tongues, and is good with people. He can use his voice and charisma to woo people, and only then, if that fails, does he use his hypnotic powers. Vox enjoys entertaining by playing many roles in all his shows and assisting Vel and Val in any issue that seems to come up.

Valentino - ESTJ (Executive)

Hear me out, let me cook; we learn in should have stayed gone that Vox is pretty much powerless without the other Vee. It is also alluded to a few times that Val has been there the longest out of all the Vees. To be in the position of power Val is in, he needs to be an extrovert and have a way with words to lure people in. You may be thinking, but how does this tie into the executive role. I ask you to take a step back, like with the angels, and look at Val from the perspective of the Vees, not from Charlie and the narrators. He is set in his ways, expects perfection from his soul, and utilizes his power position as a form of mentorship for Vox and Vel so they can gain more notoriety.

Velvette - ISFP (Adventurer)

But she is a famous designer and sinstagram star. Yeah, and do you know how many influencers and social media people are actually introverts but come off as extroverted cause they are talking to a camera, not people directly. She is also suuuuper creative, and many fashion designers, just like other artists, have a hard time relating to people face to face and prefer to talk through their art mediums. I mean, look at how Velvette handled Val's tantrum. She called Vox cause she didn't know how to handle that situation.

[vikkirosko]

Can I request Lute, Adam, Sera, Emily and Charlie (separately and platonic) with Death Reader ?

Being Death, reader is the one in charge of the souls of humans and all the paperwork it implies (like in the game "Have a nice Death" where Death is the CEO of his own business). But what no one known beside the workers of Death INC, is that Death also has to deal with the paperwork and transfert of souls between the realms. So, when a soul die in hell, it's more paperwork for reader.

Let say that the yearly exterminations only worsen reader's patience.

After centuries of intense work with zero vacations, reader is really tense and on the edge of making a burnout. Not knowing why so much demons die every years and why there is so much souls in hell.

When Charlie comes to her office to ask her support for convincing the seraphims to allow redemption. Reader is like "Wait what ?". Reader realizes that it's the angel's fault if she is overwhelmed with work, and snaps.

Now the angels will have to face a furious, near burnout Reader who will have their vacations at Bora-Bora, and if the angels don't agree with that, it's not her problem.

Thank

Platonic headcanons Death

🌈 Charlie Morningstar x Reader 🎶

Charlie knew that besides Hell, Heaven and human world, there was another place. It was a huge corporation located between the worlds and you, Death, were in charge of this organization in person. Charlie didn't see you in person, and her parents always said that you were very busy with your work, because you had a huge responsibility. You were responsible for the souls of people. That's why Charlie decided that you could support her idea of rehabilitating sinners and convince the angels. However, when she came to your office, she was very surprised. You were sitting at a table surrounded by a huge amount of documents and looked like you were going to pass out from overwork a little more

You directly told her to speak quickly, because you had a lot of work to do. Charlie didn't want to distract you too much, so she tried to explain everything quickly, but when she mentioned the extermination, you looked up from the documents and looked at her, and then asked what she meant. As it turned out, you had no idea what the angels were doing. The princess's story made your hands tremble and you told her that she could count on your support and that you would come. But when the day of the meeting with the angels came, no one expected your arrival, and even Charlie did not expect how bad a mood you would be in

You didn't let Sera or Adam say a word. You accused them of making you have a lot more work because of their pride and stupidity. You didn't try to smooth out the corners or be gentle in your expressions. You were telling it like it is, bluntly stating the exterminations. You saw that many angels didn't know about it, but you didn't care. You've been working without a single day off for centuries, and the news that you have even more work every year because of the angels has finally overwhelmed your patience

You explicitly stated that you were not going to put up with this anymore, and that you were going on vacation to Bora Bora. When Sera just wanted to say that you still have a job, you looked at her with such a frightening look that she fell silent. You said that since the angels created all these problems, then let them deal with them themselves, and also that if this extermination happens again, then you will not be as restrained as you were at that meeting. Charlie was staring at you with her eyes wide open. Before you left, you wished her luck and said that after the vacation, you would bring her a souvenir for opening your eyes to what was happening. She didn't know exactly when you were coming, but she definitely wanted to see you again

🎸 Adam x Reader ✨️

For Adam, death was an event of bygone days. He had lived in Heaven for too long to worry about someone's life ending, and even more so he did not worry about the sinners who were killed during the exterminations. He had once heard that there was an organization that Death was running, but he had never seen either this organization or you. At least until the day came when Charlie came to Heaven. You came with her that day

For a long time you were silent, watching the conversation between the princess and the others, while you silently watched what was happening, but the more Adam talked, the more annoyed your expression became. In the end, your patience ran out and you interrupted him, raising your voice and accusing him of increasing the amount of work you have to do because of his stupid actions

Adam tried to argue with you, but you didn't give him a chance to get a word in. You were terrible in anger, and your anger was only intensified by the fact that in all the long centuries you have never had a vacation. You worked tirelessly, without days off, and instead of being grateful to you for your work, the angels only increase your workload and you were not going to tolerate it anymore

You said that since the angels had caused big problems, now they will deal with the consequences, and you were going to go on your first vacation and go to Bora Bora. Adam could feel Sera's eyes on him, and he knew that he was causing problems, but he didn't feel guilty. He was mad at you because you had been doing your job for so long, and now you decided to show your character. Adam didn't know how he was going to handle it, but he wasn't going to let you and Charlie win

✖️ Lute x Reader 🗡

Lute knew that Death was responsible for the distribution of souls. She had never seen you in person, but Lute understood that you clearly had a lot of work to do. She didn't care, and at some point she stopped thinking about it at all. These weren't her problems and she wasn't going to waste her time worrying about other people's problems. That's what she thought until you came to Heaven with Charlie, who wanted the extermination to stop

You frowned at everyone, keeping silent, and Lute didn't understand what you needed there at all. However, your patience quickly ran out. When Sera started claiming that Angel couldn't end up in Heaven and it wasn't as easy as it seemed, you got angry. You shouted that it's not for them to decide who has the right to go where, and they certainly have no right to organize a genocide of sinners. Your words made a fuss, and Lute was outraged that you were meddling in something that wasn't your business, but you weren't going to be silent

You accused the angels of making you have a lot more work to do. Every time they killed sinners, you had more paperwork to do. You've been working without a vacation for ages and you weren't going to work any more because of what the angels did

You stated that you are going to Bora Bora on vacation. You didn't care how the angels planned to deal with problems, but you supported the idea of a princess, because it would make life easier for everyone, including you. Lute was furious. She looked at you and realized that if it wasn't for you, Charlie's words might not have been taken seriously. But you decided to step in and now she and Adam had obvious problems

✨️ Sera x Reader 💫

When Sera allowed Adam to destroy sinners, she understood that at some point you might have noticed it. You have known each other for a long time, because you were Death and have existed since the beginning of time. You had a whole corporation now, but you still did a lot of things on your own. But Sera was sure that you would not pay attention to the fact that several dozen sinners would die, because many deaths happened every day and you always had a lot of work. However, her faith was shaken when you came with Charlie to Heaven

She felt your piercing gaze on her and knew that you knew everything. You weren't going to leave it just like that. Perhaps it was thanks to Charlie that you found out the truth after so many years. You were silent, watching the negotiations between the angels and the princess, but your patience quickly ran out. You demanded an explanation from them about the exterminations. Your words caused a commotion, and then you turned directly to Sera, asking how she even dared to allow such a thing and how she dares to decide who is worthy to go to Heaven and who is not, because it was your job

Sera tried to explain to you and Emily that everything was not as simple as it seemed at first glance, but you were not going to believe it, understanding how things really are. You said that since she was sure that she knew everything better than anyone else, she could deal with the problems that she had created on her own. You weren't going to lift a finger in order to make her job a little easier, on the contrary, you intended to complicate it

You went to Bora Bora on vacation. Sera understood that she had made a mistake, but she could not change anything. She had a lot of problems to deal with, and all she could hope for was that you would return from your vacation earlier and change your anger to mercy

��� Emily x Reader ✨️

For a long time, Emily lived in happy ignorance. She lived confident that everything was fine, sometimes visiting you. From Sera, she learned about your corporation and how to get there. You were Death and you always had a lot of work and that's why she sometimes brought you a snack. You treated her with gentleness, because she was the only one who really visited you and expressed gratitude for your work. However, you never came to Heaven until you came there with Charlie

Emily was watching you and didn't understand what happened. You were in a disgusting mood, but you were silent, often casting an aggressive look at Sera. But her misunderstanding quickly disappeared when your patience ran out. You accused the angels of having a huge amount of work to do because of the exterminations they were guilty of. Emily couldn't believe it was true, but Death never lied and she knew it

You stated that you worked hard and every year you didn't understand why sinners died so much, but not only did you not have time for a vacation, you didn't even have time to deal with these oddities. But now you knew the truth. Emily shared your anger, because she's been living a lie all this time

When the meeting was over, you said that since the angels had created so many problems, now they themselves must deal with them, and you were waiting for the first vacation in your entire existence to Bora Bora. You only stayed to tell Emily that you hoped she would continue to be a pure light in Heaven and could help Charlie make both Hell and Heaven better

[gethellbcnt]

thinking about a theory from a long time ago where, when asked about Lucifer's weaknesses due to his status in hell, there was the implication that only Angels of equal or higher ranking are able to be wound or possibly kill other Angels.

if this theory were teased at in the show at some point by Vaggie, it'd at least be a lackluster reason to explain why demons hadn't tried fighting against the exorcists in the past, and it also would've explained why Vaggie didn't know that Angels could be harmed by their own weapons ; she's implied to have been one of Adam's best soldiers, possibly on the same level as Lute, which would make Vaggie's confusion as to why Angelic Weapons weren't thought to be their own weakness kind of excusable.

an uninspiring idea for this oversight, but at least it makes sense.

this is a theory that i'm definitely applying to my interpretation of heaven and its Angels. with that being said though, this means that Sera can be injured, but is otherwise untouchable when it comes to the power scaling of Angels

idk i think its an interesting theory that i'd like to see put into action in the series at some point

[deadghosy]

Penguin Y/N being a gremlin and scaring everyone cause apparently Penguins have these, flesh tendrils in their mouths that look like teeth?

HOW H.H. CAST REACT TO PEGUIN’S READER MOUTH:

Penguin y/n has definitely flashed them on someone trying to harass the cast😭. It’s like that crawfish video on where they would have their arms out in a t-pose ass stance and literally “hiss” at them. You do cause slight fear to new sinners who never seen inside of a penguin’s mouth. But hey, at least you get scary points😭😭

Possibly so Lucifer would be trying to brush the cute penguin reader..but when they opened their mouth he almost passed out. Yes he may be the king of hell, but he as never seen “teeth” like those dear friend.

Alastor …he honestly might not care but make comments on it. Hell he may even stare closely at it as if he had a degree in being a dentist 💀. This old timey fucker laughs at the fear you put on peoples faces when they see your teeth

Nifty, “what are those?” She’s poking your mouth as you quack at her to stop. She’s a curious sinner, so she doesn’t understand what you are showing her with those fleshy…tendrils.

Charlie..ehhh I feel like she would be like “WOAH what the fu-” then quickly, and nervously asks about those fleshy ass teeth. She might also look it up to make sure you can “chew”. She’s just a considerate person 🥹

Vaggie, eh I feel like she would scream “WTF?!” But then calm down when you close your mouth because hey. You don’t use them to harm others. She’s just shocked.

Angel, the same as vaggie. He probably makes a slight dirty joke but not a lot towards it.

Husk, he’s too drunk to even care. And he’s not sober to even care more😕

Sera, doesn’t care. I mean why would she when she’s busy being a seraphim. No hard feelings but it’s realistic.

Adam, “WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS THAT-" he makes freakish ass comments and jokes about it. He probably asked if your so called teeth broke all because of a lollipop. He may be an asshat and even pull one out of his pocket💀

Pentious, poor boy got scared. I mean shit, yeah he was in hell and died again, and went to heaven. But boy did he not know your fleshy tendrils looks disgusting and disturbing. He may say that he suggested you brush your teeth 😭😭

Emily, thinks they’re cute! Of course this cinnamon roll isn’t scared of the fleshy tendrils. She always sees you as cute little thing….even if you chomped on her arm she would thank you!

Lastly Lute, doesn’t care. Do I have to say it? She’s a killer to sinners so of course she ain’t scared of some damn fleshy ass teeth…

A/N: that’s all I got for today lol. I might come back to writing for hazbin hotel, not much for helluva boss since I kinda dropped off of that YouTube series. But yeah!

[redfluffz]

So I saw many people seeing Sera as a sister or a love interest towards Lucifer. For my headcanon I want to give her the role as an personal assitant. Only created to serve explicitly one higher being. And that's why she is so concerned and sad, when talking about Luc. Because she was his assistant and they're friendship was a very deep one.

Also Mike is blaming everyone who surronded his twin, because he believes that they're the reasons why Luc had to fall. And the first person on his black list is of course Lili.

But that's just my theory :D

🎵 But there's a lot that you don't know ...

[lafox]

Luis Sera Headcanon [Collab] SFW/NSFW

Author note: hi everyone. I know it has been Ages but im back with a little gift for all of you and i collab with @sattiene my beloved <3 thank you so much for her input and help because it really helped me out get back in the mix of things. i really missed writing HC for characters soooooo ! My ask are now open! YEY!

anyways i'll let you enjoy this Hc!:

SFW HC: 

Meeting you for the first time in the events of the Las Plagas incident, the first thing he says to you is:

"I just have one important question. Do you have a smoke?"

-

Manipulation through his puppy eyes. 

“Oye, Senorita. Mind a smoke?” *insta puppy eyes*

-

Probably ‘almost’ fluent in French and would brag about it to you only (hmmm wonder why)

-

Grows every so fond of you when you laugh off his flirting towards you.

But what made him fall in love even more was when you suddenly started to flirt back. 

He stutters, is flustered but quickly come back with another flirt (it's a war now)

One time, he was playing around with his lighter while walking, to which you added a remark:

“Hm.. Does this skill also apply in the bedroom?” You smirked. 

The man was shooken (idk this isn't a word) and closed his lighter shut.

He shook his head and chuckled,

“There is only one way to find out, ay?” He said looking back at you.

Oh boy…

-

He tries to lighten up the mood as Leon isn’t much of a jokester. 

And when you laugh at his jokes and Leon doesn't, he points it out:

“Ay, see Y/N likes my jokes.” 

-

If you are imprisoned, you bet your ass Luis is gonna be your knight in shining armor.

You’ll scream to whoever, to get you out when it’s Luis that peaks his head and saves you his only comment will be:

“Oh so that's what you sound like, hm?” 

Alternatively : You are captured and tied up unconscious. He is at your rescue once more and sees you tied up. He would whistle and look away for a minute, putting his fist close to his mouth before snapping out of it and helping you out.

When you wake you bet your ass he will hit you with the oldest pick up line to this day like:

"Oh chica. I've been told I look heavenly, but you're not in heaven yet."

-

Is it raining? No problem Luis is to the rescue:

“Where are my manners?” He says as he takes off his jacket and hovers it on top of your head.

-

Oh shit! A flight hatchet coming your way! But don't worry, again, Luis is at the  rescue,

Hugging you as he pushes both of you away and falls down.

Well now it's an awkward situation as you are now on top of him. You lift yourself to meet with Luis’ face closer than expected.

Of course he shots a flirtatious grin accompanied with his eyebrows raising up.

What he would do to get your attention or to be close to you i swear…

He is down bad for you that's for sure. 

-

It's impressive when you see Leon in action, a break at the shooting range is always a great pause for everyone, which helps make Luis and you grow closer.

But the music made your feet tap to the beat and that, Luis noticed. 

He gently grabbed your hand, waiting a few seconds to know if he was denied and when you didn’t reject his advance, dragged you to dance.

You giggled, you weren’t much of a dancer but the beat was so good and the moment was so right, it made you become one. 

That was when you were charmed by him.

-

When you get separated, Luis will call you on the radio any chance he gets.

“Hola. Aaah I'm glad you picked up princesa. I’m at the ballroom, come over. We can continue our little dance. Don’t be late to the party!”

When you are a bit more separate from Leon and Ashley, you call Luis and you guys chat

“How's your search? Are you okay so far?” you asked. “Always so worried for me, lindura~” “I miss you too don’t worry” He adds. 

-

He would scare you by hugging you from behind

Which ultimately ends in you pointing your gun at him

"Whoa whoa, cariño. chill. it's just me, your loverboy."

-

Would take pictures of you on his flip phone but the pictures are some of the worst moments of you looking surprised, zoning out, or sweaty with dirt on your face cause you were almost killed by a villager. 

You ask him to delete it but nah this man puts it as his wallpaper and keeps it forever.

-

If you are infected with las Plagas, he becomes serious

Will still be flirtatious to calm his own anxiety

At the operation table, will hold your hand while killing the plaga

Would turn his head away as it is agony for him to hear you scream in pain

"I know, I know bebe. I'm here. shhh, shh,"

Let a tear fall and wipes it after the operation finish

Man, he thought he lost you!

-

But enough heart breaks!

The man is clingy! He loves you so much he always want you close

For example; you want to make breakfast for the both of you in the morning but no no no you are not escaping with his arms wrapped around your waist

"Nooooo, mi amor, stay," He whines in his morning voice.

Will be hugging you from behind while you cook breakfast. 

You can feel his stubble tickling your neck

Everything is perfect.

-

The embodiment of chivalry

Opens doors for you, pushes your seat for you allllll the time.

NSFW HC

He is loud and not scared to be

Moan, groans, whimpers, yeah you are getting the whole service.

-

Service top/ dom

Mutters some Spanish when he is really really into it.

-

His foreplay is insane the man is a teaser;

Hand on your thigh just slowly but surely making his way through your core as he kisses your neck and tells you sweet nothing. (how could it not melt to that!)

-

You are always his top priority

Can go on for hour for your pleasure only (pls don’t make him pass out i beg you)

Cracks jokes if you are anxious, just to see you smile and relax, that’s already a win for him.

-

Mf does the petal of roses on the bed thingy on the special occasion (with scented candles ofc!)

Nice dinners and dancing before a night of love.

-

Sex isn't a shameful topic to him and will tease about it.

If you tease him back about his  performance he will backfire at you, its constant banter!

-

Weakness for lace in lingerie: He would fall weak if he slowly discovered you are wearing a set of lingerie while he takes off your clothes

“You wore this for me cariño.” and also will have his puppy eyes activated.

-

Would brag about you all the time and show that you are his girl as he marks you

He loves when you mark him, telling him you are his and that he is yours.

Covered with your lipstick is so hot to him, shows how much you love him.

Takes pictures of all the above

-

His biggest turn on? When you ride him. 

Holy fuck does he love it so much, just digging his hands on your thighs and trusting at the same beat as your riding makes him melt.

You taste heavenly to him and he loves to eat you out

Face riding? Yes please!

Makes him so horny you bet that shit makes him precum.

-

Type of guy to continue slowly thrusting in when done cause God Damn you feel good, he doesn’t want it to end!

-

Not into the harcord stuff like BDSM and such but would be willing to try for you

“So you’re into that stuff ay..” 

-

His favorite positions are any where he can see your beautiful face

-

He will never call you names like ‘slut’ and stuff “that's not a gentlemen’s ways”

-

You tried your best to please him first but Luis can’t hear any of that: “Ladies first” kinda treatment 

“Why don’t we switch it up tonight, let me start with you~” you said as you pressed your fingertips on his pecks, going ever so slowly down.

He shook his head as he chuckled. “You know my policy mi amor” He takes your hand to wrap in around his neck as he positions you on your back while kissing you

I mean, you can’t resist him. 

-

First time he makes you squirt, the man will be so proud of himself

Will use that fact against you in arguments: “didn’t you gush all over me last night?? yeah that’s what i thought.” 

With a smug ofc 

-

Tell you how beautiful you are especially while making you cum

-

Best aftercare, hugs, kisses, shower, and caresses.

The man Orders you to stay put when he cleans up, its “his mess not yours”

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Emily's shoulder Charlie: "There is still good in Sera. Her intentions have been horridly corrupted, but they once came from a desire to protect and preserve. We can help her see the truth and return to goodness!"

Emily's shoulder Vaggie: "PUNCH HER IN HER STUCK-UP ANGEL FACE!"

XD chaggie down in hell having a rest after the drama, meanwhile EMILY-

Emily: "I'm not sure the face punching idea would even work. Sera's too tall..."

Shoulder Vaggie: "Trust me, she's sunk low enough for you to reach."

Shoulder Charlie: "Which MEANS she's ALSO in the perfect position for HUGS!!!"

Emily: "I don't even know how to throw a punch."

Shoulder Charlie: "And that's fine!!"

Shoulder Vaggie: "No problem. Just think about that that time you found out souls were being permanently wiped from existence once a year in the name of protecting heaven bc Sera was scared people might not actually like being damned and tortured for all eternity and figured just letting Adam murder them was the best way to keep sinners away from the pearly gates. Not that you needed to know any of that, though. It was fine if you sat happily up on your cloud, far above the mountain of dead bodies piled up to keep it safe."

Shoulder Charlie: "....We could punch her a little, maybe."

Emily: "Charlie!"

Shoulder Charlie: "I'm sorry! You think Vaggie's making a REALY good point, is the thing!"

Emily: "Why do my hands suddenly hurt-?"

Shoulder Vaggie: "It's called clenching your fists. You're making a fist with your hands for the first time ever. Good job. Don't tuck your thumb though."

Emily: (untucks thumb) "I still can't just punch Sera. It wouldn't make anything better!"

Shoulder Charlie: "We could call it a, uh, direct demonstration of our opinions on the matter. Or a lived example of why violence is bad!"

Emily: "You're not supposed to be arguing for punching!"

Shoulder Charlie: "I said I'm sorry! But the only time you met me, the real me, I spent the end of the day burning with rage and yelling at people about it! And it's my girlfriend you've got advocating for the face punching- I can't help that you think I'd be kinda down for it!!"

Shoulder Vaggie: "The whole dating me thing is a pretty big clue she's at least not turn off by violence, if it's for helping people instead of, y'know. Murder."

Emily: "Vaggie- help me. The real you was more quiet and cautious-"

Shoulder Vaggie: "Probably because of the blackmail."

Emily: "-you, you tried telling Charlie to keep a cool head! Tell me that too!"

Shoulder Vaggie: "Remember that thing where it turns out real me used to be an exorcist, used to do that murder stuff? And got left behind in hell? Probably for the whole not liking the murder thing?"

Emily: "I was trying not to remember that..."

Shoulder Vaggie: "You're not a princess of hell or a lowly ex-exorcist. You're a seraphim. You could punch Sera and get away with it."

Emily: "Ugh.."

Shoulder Charlie: "But only a LITTLE punch, okay? Gently. Gently punch."

Shoulder Vaggie: "That's not how it works babe but sweeet thought."

Emily: (SIGHS) (stops arguing internally with herself)

Sera: "....."

Sera: "Are you alright, Emily."

Emily: (despondent) "I'm fine, Sera."

Sera: "You seem a bit, droopy. I haven't even had proper glimpse of your face all day."

Emily: "Sorry. I just can't look at you right now."

Sera: (devastated) "...oh."

Sera: (rallying) "Well it will pass in time, I'm sure. Once you understand things better."

Emily: (hiding fists in skirts) (urge to punch) (RISING) "SuRE."

Emily: "..."

Emily: "Oh you know what? We haven't talked about Sir Pentious today!"

Sera: "Haven't we."

Emily: "We haven't, actually!" (smugly smooths out skirts) "He's settling in here nicely, isn't he? Isn't it wonderful having a new angel in heaven? Seeing him around, so amazed at everything- being so sweet and kind as he finds his way around after dying to protect his friends- Isn't it such an extra blessing, that he made it here aaaaallllll the way from hell? Aren't we lucky Charlie and Vaggie's hotel for reforming sinners is a thing? And is STILL a thing, even after Adam and Lute tried killing them all? On our orders? Which- thank heaven!- didn't work?"

Sera: (eye twitch) (eye twitch) "Indeed."

Emily: "I'm sure they'd be SO happy to see how well Sir Pentious is doing." (beaming) "We should invite them back sometime!"

Sera: (Glowering) "....."

Emily: "See I knew you'd agree Sera. You're overprotective- but that doesn't make you vindictive and petty, right? Right. You're not like Adam, may he rest in peace- Now, about setting something up to help the transition go more smoothly, the next time a sinner earns their place in heaven..."

-down in hell-

Vaggie: "You've got a great frown line going on, sweetie. What's up?"

Charlie: "Oh it's silly, but...

Charlie: "...Is Emily going to be okay up in heaven, do you think? After finding out about. Y'know."

Vaggie: "If she's anything like you? No."

Charlie: (whimpers) (frown x2)

Vaggie: "But if she's half as brilliant as you are, then she'll figure something out."

Charlie: "If she's so much like me, then she's also a Charlie without her Vaggie. That's not much of a Charlie."

Vaggie: "You did fine in Cannibal Town alone, babe."

Charlie: "Only AFTER thinking about you!"

Vaggie: "Well- uhh-" (tries not to smile) (smiles a lot) "Sir Pentious is up there? He counts for something."

Charlie & Vaggie: (stare up at heaven)

Charlie: "....think he's already blown up the pearly gates?"

Vaggie: "If his Egg Boiz haven't shown up there yet? Yeah. Probably."

-pearly gates-

Sir Pentious: (clinging to the wreckage of the gates) "THEY ARE VERY SSSSIMPLE BOIZ! THEY MIGHT NOT REMMBER HOW TO KNOCK OR CONSSTRUCT AND EXSSSSPLOSSIVE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO GET THEM PASSSSSST IT!"

Sera: "That is why we have Peter keeping WATCH on the gates! We do NOT detonate the gates of heaven with several tons of TNT- singeing Peter's wings in process!"

St. Peter: (coughs smoke) "Ow~"

Sir Pentious: "BUT THEY ARE SSSSSMALL! WHAT IF THEY GET OVERLOOKED? MY BOIZSS!!"

Emily: "We could just leave the gates open-"

Sera: "NO!"

Emily: (leaning in to pentious) (whispering) "I'll leave the gates open an Egg Boi sized gap okay? Don't worry."