#⊰ ❛ ☆ . * ── visuals. / i will be their wayfinder .

[midnightwind]

I truly love looking at my desktop of games and laughing at the sheer disparity on display

[lightblinds]

tag drop !!

[superfan44]

I. CAN. NOT. WAIT! 🐚🌊🪝

[apricotopera]

god aqua who in fragmentary passage and in remind is constantly fighting herself and is terrified of her mirror image and then also when ven to her face tells her she’s awful the direct next thing she says is ‘so now you know the truth’ (objectively about eraqus’ command to watch terra but Still) is like. it’s sick. it’s sick. i’m extremely emotional about aqua

[hattedhedgehog]

My (spoiler-free) thoughts on Dragon Age: The Veilguard

The review embargo has lifted and I can officially say that I've played through Dragon Age: The Veilguard early! 

Here are my spoiler-free thoughts and personal opinions on the overall gameplay experience: 

Narrative:

Rook's dialogue and decisions impact SO MUCH of the game, and come into play later on. From companions remembering your beverage preferences, to whether someone you spared shows up later to help or harm you, it feels like the game is paying attention and that you matter.

The stakes are unbelievably high. The Evanuris are utterly terrifying villains, in ways that Corypheus wasn’t. You really feel the magnitude of their power on a personal level as well as a worldwide level.

Whatever your thoughts on him, Solas is FUN as a character. He’s fun to talk to, fun to talk strategy with, fun to rile up and verbally spar with and fun to grudgingly ally with. Now that he can drop his former act and appear to you as the Dread Wolf, and you get to see his memories, you and he team get to decide how to utilise his knowledge and how far your trust extends.

The setup and payoff of the story beats are absolutely superb. The emotional turmoil as a player of being ensnared by things that was foreshadowed earlier in the game is utterly exquisite. Every thread of the larger tapestry has been woven with so much love by the writing team, and every character’s arc tie into the larger story in interesting ways.

The characters feel like they have full lives outside of the player character. You frequently go exploring their home turf and can meet their friends and family. They interact with each other on their own and move about the Lighthouse to spend time together, leave notes for each other, and talk about each other even when the other isn’t there. The team feels like they all really care about each other as well as you. 

You can tell what your approval rating is with characters, but if you want to romance them you have to put some thought into it. Interactions and world events besides the heart on the dialogue wheel influence their attraction to you.

Gameplay:

The combat is very engaging, and I enjoyed how unique all the enemies were.

Abilities in the skill tree can be refunded so you can redirect to a different specialization, which is really handy if you’re indecisive and overwhelmed at first (like I get when choosing abilities).  Most companions can get healing abilities no matter what class, so you don’t have to worry about balancing your rogues/mages/warriors (most of the time).

Climbing, balancing on ledges, using ziplines and sliding down slopes made environments feel more immersive. Additionally I like how each companion has unique abilities that let them interact with the world (fixing mechanisms, breathing fire, summoning bridges from the Fade, etc), and learning their abilities alongside them helps you grow closer.

The wayfinder light makes everything feel streamlined, so it's way harder to get lost while exploring an area. I hardly had to look at the mini map at all, and usually I’m glued to it! This meant I could actually look around at the beautiful environments and appreciate how lively they were, even without NPCs.

The upgrade system is far less overwhelming than in Inquisition; there are a finite amount of weapons/armour/accessories to be found, which are designed for each specific character like in DA:O and DA:2. There's also no longer crafting from scratch. If you loot an item you already have, it automatically upgrades the single item rather than giving you duplicates.

You know that frustration of coming across higher-level armour that just isn’t as flattering as your current one? Not to worry, you can collect “appearances” which you can toggle on as the visual for the armour while still retaining the benefits of the original.

I cannot stress enough how simple and easy to use the inventory is. It's heavenly. 

Using the shops of specific cities increases your reputation within those cities, which is a good incentive to explore and use the shops. I usually hate in-world shopping but here it was simple, and thinking about it tactically worked pretty well.

Quests sometimes reach a point where you can't continue at your current place in the story, and must return to in later acts. When re-exploring familiar areas, everything feeling big enough to be fresh with each visit, and new loot and codex entires appear.

Edit: something I forgot to mention. In character creator, you get to make your Inquisitor after you make Rook. The build menus are all the same, so manage your energy accordingly for doing it all again immediately after for your Inky. I spent an hour and a half building my Rook and wanted to get right to playing, and had to re-wire my brain a bit to be patient and keep going with the CC. (Seeing my Inquisitor with new graphics was awesome though).

A couple little things I appreciated:

The control sounds are very pleasing. From the whoosh of opening the combat wheel to the clinking of upgrades to the subtle whir of holding the decision button, they're a nice touch.

If companions are interrupted in conversation by combat, they resume it afterwards with a "what were you saying before?".

Photo mode is so fun to play with, and you can adjust blur/brightness/lens/depth within the scene. You can also toggle on and off the visibility of your Rook, your party, NPCs and enemies!

Assan learns new interaction tricks at the Lighthouse as the game goes on.

Nitpicks:

Overall I had an incredibly positive experience. The gripes I had were tiny things like:

I genuinely like the new art style of the game as a whole. However, the blurriness of some of the features in contrast with some elements being very crisp was distracting.

When trying to sell valuables for faction points without using Sell All, it takes quite a long time to count up all the individual sales, and it isn't a live counter. So it's kind of annoying if you get +3 points for each item you sell, need 150 points to get the next tier of items, and over 10K worth of valuables that you want to sell to other factions. 

If you do lots of quests without returning to the Lighthouse often, occasionally companions at the Lighthouse will have dialogue pertaining to the quests you've just finished as if you haven't done them.

You can pet the dogs and cats in the cities, but Rook turns their back to the camera to do it and it blocks most of the action unless you rotate quickly.

Gender stuff:

I was incredibly moved that not only can Rook be trans/nonbinary in the character creator if you so choose, but they get options to feel differently about their identity and journey, and it impacts their dialogue and how they relate to other characters! To access this make sure to interact with Varric's Mirror in your room in the Lighthouse. There are many conversation options throughout the game to discuss your identity with other characters, or relate your change of self to other situations. Crucially, it comes up when entering a romance and you have to communicate with your partner about it, which I never even THOUGHT of including in a game because it seemed impossible to even allow trans main characters to begin with.

There are also multiple trans and nonbinary characters throughout Thedas. What I found the most realistic was that just like in life, it is a consistent presence in any character's life, and comes up in conversation more than once. I have never seen a game this forthcoming and open about the topic of transitioning, and it was so validating. 

Final thoughts:

I adore the other games in the franchise. Something about The Veilguard affected me in a way no other game has. I cried multiple times while playing this game, both from joy and sadness. What struck me most is that the people who worked on this game REALLY listened to feedback from previous games, and were very set on making a piece of art that meant something to people. Even during the last few years of me testing the game, things have been adjusted and changed in direct response to our reactions and suggestions. It's surreal and quite touching.

Mileage will vary, but my playthrough was 70 hours on very low difficulty and I haven't done every side quest yet. I could easily have spent more than 100 hours in the game if I wasn't pressed for time.

I hope you enjoy this game as much as I have. See you in Thedas.

[autisticlalna]

ive been loving @loudn-mcyt's superhero au and was seized with a need to draw Wayfinder and Timekeeper because, as always, im predictable. i just think theyre neat!

i ran out of art stamina before i could do coloring, but im pretty happy with these. very long rambling about design choices under cut:

okay despite having them in the same order as the stats post to match i actually drew Timekeeper first so we're starting with her.

civilian Ruby is Ruby Corundum, and is basically just Ruby's default skin. i could've gone for Cherruby seeing as this is a SBK AU, but i felt like drawing your average rubert.

Timekeeper, meanwhile, is based heavily off tRuby (or, maybe more specifically, off Sapphire). was very much winging this and wanted something long and swooshy that wasnt a cape, so.. tRuby's coat! i was gonna have a completely new outfit under it, but nothing looked right so they get to keep the vest and pants. the undershirt is Cherruby's, though. i did fancy the coat up a bit with shoulder pads, a different.. lapel? ive forgotten the word for the folded bit. and while its not pictured in the cleaned-up sketch it has a crystal pattern and maybe some iridescence because i wanted to pull in Ruby's gemstone aesthetic

also Timekeeper has the crystal hair i normally draw Ruby with in a braid like tRuby / Sapphire. and pointy ears! Ruby's a normal human while civilian, but considering Ruby and Viking's... everything... i had fun with making them a little less that. this is helped by me picturing Ruby doing a whole-ass magical girl transformation into Timekeeper, lmao. ANYWAY. eyes change color because of time powers, and theyve got their clock as always

Wayfinder was designed after, so i was relying a lot on what i established for Timekeeper because i wanted them to match! Viking is just Summertime but with glasses because im still fiddling with the idea of drawing him with glasses anyway and its a fun tie to Ruby. he is also a normal human. no catboyism here.

visual similarities with Timekeeper: same undershirt, pants, gloves, and boots, core item on chain necklace, pointy ears, and the chevron design on his shoulders is similar to Timekeeper's shoulder pads and chain accents. and, although you cant see it because of his goggles, his eyes also change color to match his domain.

he was originally gonna be based more off Wanderer, but as much as i love the parka the aviator jacket is too iconic and the mask blended in with the goggles too much. he gets dViking's wispy bits though bc of his intangibility power and i wanted there to be some kind of change like Timekeeper's hair.

UH. YEAH. this was fun! i dont know if im gonna draw the rest, im just always Incredibly Normal abt spacetime siblings, but considering i havent drawn any superhero stuff before At All im really proud of this. ok bye

[synergysilhouette]

Saw "Moana 2" and...(Review with Spoilers)

In retrospect, I'm not surprised that Disney's highest-grossing Disney princess movie (not adjusted for inflation and Anna and Elsa aren't part of the Disney princess line) got a sequel. That said, given the track record Disney has had lately since "Strange World," I'm also not surprised with the decline in quality. So here's my thoughts on it in 3 points.

The music is...different--Thankfully, Disney got the same people to do the score, but when the film was envisioned as a TV show, they decided not to approach Lin-Manuel Miranda (or maybe he was busy) and instead approached Barlow and Bear for the music. Now to be fair, the soundtrack is NOT bad, but it's not as good, either; Matangi's song feels very showtune-y rather than an epic song set in the Pacific Islands, and every song except Moana's feels like a downgrade. Granted, I do blame this on the transition probably not giving them as much time to grow and change the songs, but I still find it to be disappointing. I think the songwriters could've been better suited for an original film and Disney get LMM back the moment they decided to make a sequel film.

2. The new characters aren't anything special--First off, Simea doesn't do anything to impact the plot in a way another character couldn't. When you give the main character a sibling in a sequel, you expect them to have an impact. Simea's goal was likely to show the bigger stakes Moana could face and all the leaves behind, but the first film was also life or death for her and her people, and her parents could still serve as what she leaves behind, especially since they're older and Moana takes on new responsibilities. Moni as a storyteller seems like he should be a source of encouragement and remind Moana of her grandmother, instead of a fanboy. Plus why he reveres Maui despite him almost destroying the world would be interesting to explore. Loto being the science-y girl in a world with clear fantasy elements would be interesting to explore, especially since she doesn't seem offended or in denial of it. Kele is supposed to be the farmer, but visually, we don't see how that comes into play that much. Moana pretty much does most of the work. Matangi is also just a servant to the main antagonist Nalo, but he isn't interesting or symbolic like Te Ka, and Matangi is a weird mix of villain and helper. I'd have rathered she was a villain akin to Eris from "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas" and was simply outwitted by Moana. Her small role and message of getting lost felt underutilized. And it's SAD that the Kakamora feels more interesting than the rest of Moana's crew. The wayfinders at the end of the film and in the art book looked much more interesting, and I'd have enjoyed them filling the roles Kele, Moni, and Loto had. On the bright side, Moana as a character wasn't ruined, even if the film didn't do any favors for her.

3. There's no real message and the plot is very boring--The film continues on the message of the restoration of cultural identity, but nothing the characters experience really show a conflict that threatens that. In the first film, sailing and wayfinding is forbidden due to Te Ka's influence causing the ocean to be tempestuous. As such, they lost a big part of their culture. Maybe the film could've focused on Nalo (or Matangi) venturing out to destroy Moana rather than her coming to him due to her possibly being the hero to unite the people across the Pacific. They'd manipulate the humans and cause rifts between the people of Motunui. It'd be more domestic, but perhaps have Moana going to different islands, meeting other wayfinders, and trying to weed out Nalo's deception could work. This is all assuming you wanted a strict villain over a trickster deity or a more nuanced antagonist. And side note, but the modern dialogue (ie butt dialing, hair flip, and fanfic were so cringey to me).

Overall, the film is...fine. I need to hear about what was going on during production, because I can't blame it all on "it was gonna be a tv show first." It wasn't as good as the first film, nor would it win a "battle of the sequels" with "Frozen 2," but it's better than "Wish," and while that's a low bar, it's something I could be happy with for a brief period. 5/10

(And I'll probably add this film to my "alternate take on the Disney revival era" post--but I'd like to hear a little bit more about the production for the film before I do.)

[insanefujoshi]

I'm replaying the entirety of KH on pc so here's my ranking of the games!!

If I was forced to put them in order it would be smth like

Chain of Memories -> 358/2 Days -> Dream Drop Distance -> KHI -> KHIII -> Dark Road -> KHII -> Melody of Memory -> Union X -> Re:Coded -> Birth By Sleep -> A Fragmentary Passage

I'm talking story wise btw, gameplay means little to me, I'm here for the stories babeeyyy and also this is just if I had to rank them, generally speaking I love and would die for the entire franchise!!

Below some more details about my reasoning starting from the bottom up!

Good Stories But...

Birth by Sleep & Fragmentary Passage

Let's cut to the chase, I'm not a fan of Aqua. I'm not a hater and I think what they did with the Wayfinder Trio as a tragic beginning for KH I was really good, but also I just can't vibe with her type of character. And yes the Lack Of Communication was THE POINT in that story but to me it's a very frustrating trope to watch, and we had to play through it THREE TIMES. So I can of course take a step back and see the good in the story as a whole and I LOVE Terra and adore Ventus, but having to watch Aqua Execute Orders without questions nor stopping to ask Terra What The Fuck Was Up truly dampened the whole experience for me. Fragmentary Passage was very interesting but also Aqua POV so yeah...

STILL despite my preferences, I still think the stories were cool and interesting so I give both titles a B!

Nice Little Story!

Re: Coded

A nice little game that I still have to play for myself but of course I've watched the movie of. I liked the whole Data Riku part in particular and I think that it's overall a fun recap with some extra tidbits of lore inside. B+

Really Nice Story

Union X

Watched the movie of this one and OH I fell in love with Daybreak Town and the 2d style, plus learning the origin of it all was mind-blowing! Really really liked it so imma give it an A with a lot of tears cause I wasn't able to play it (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

SUPER COOL STORY

Kingdom Hearts II

Yes, Roxas part at the beginning was fucking AWESOME SAUCE but I don't think it was the BEST part of the game. The WHOLE thing was SO good from Sanctuary to the ending. No notes. It was great to play Sora again and to delve deeper into the story!

Melody of Memory

I SUCK at rhythm games but man do I LOVE them! And one where I get to listen to the amazing music of Kingdom Hearts while also going through the various iconic worlds? Sign me the fuck UP! Also the truth behind Kairi was GREAT!!

Giving both games rating S!!!

AMAZING STORIES

Kingdom Hearts I

Call me cheesy and nostalgic, I don't give a fuck, the vibes of the very first game will remain unmatched, even after replaying it there's just this enchanted aura surrounding it. Plus I'm a sucker for beginnings💞

Dream Drop Distance

Beside the fact that I can play with Riku, I've loved this story SO much, the whole a dream within a dream thing was so cool and YOUNG XEHA WAS THERE! The exam! Sora almost losing himself! The Dreameaters and Nightmares! Riku!! And overall the aesthetic of it is chef kiss! A great fucking game💞💞

Kingdom Hearts III

Beside the whole DLC debacle that was indeed very eye rolling, I truly do not understand the hate this game got. It was an amazing conclusion to the first saga of this story, we can see how all the stories come together, there's a crazy cool ensemble cast and it's also visually beautiful! It's the one I love to pop back in to run around when I miss playing (Toy Box the world that you are) but that aside I truly, truly loved all the developments the cast had and the choices Sora made. It was a perfect ending to this one chapter and it made me want to begin the next one asap💞💞💞

Dark Road

Another game I wasn't able to play but thankfully got to watch in full online! A MAZ ING! Again in love with that 2d style but what I loved most was, of course, the story following Xehanort himself! How cool to be able to learn about his story AAAAA I love origin stories sooo much and Eraqus? All the classmates? The Upperclassmen?? Baldr???? BRAGI/LUXU?? Oh man it was such a trip to experience-

All four games get a SS rating~

The Stories of my Heart

Chain of Memories

Yes the gameplay is horrendous but this was, thanks to the manga and the movie, the first KH story that truly completely captivated me. It won me over and changed me when I was twelve, the concept menories being like a chain one can break, reassemble and add/remove pieces to is SO interesting. Naminé is there! AXEL is there! The first glance at the Organization XIII! Repliku and the whole replicas thing! Not to mention my favourite version of Dearly Beloved!! AH it's so good...

"In this place, to find is to lose, and to lose is to find. That is the way in Castle Oblivion."

358/2 Days

What to say, this is THE tragedy... I love the angle they went for, making us play "the bad guys", fall for them, learn all about Roxas and Axel and Xion... The bittersweetness of their short time together and their goodbyes. The way the game is structured, so apparently mundane, making you see the daily lives of these "Nobodies" is something I extremely enjoy as a slice of life lover and I personally believe that it made the ending even worse. And the concept of a Nobody, the existential crisis of it all, AH such great material. This one has the Dearly Beloved that most breaks my heart UGH those violins...

"Bet you don't know why the sun sets red."

Both of these games get a SSS 💞💞💞

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

A follow up on that wayfinder trio ask bc I feel like bringing this fact again.

I will always mourn that for BbS flashback we never got younger models bc if math is right, they all should be 4 years younger.[Sora is my clock here as he saved Ven when he was just a baby]

We got a canon age some time ago since they are actually still the same age wince BbS in canon so the math tell us on all BbS flashbacks Terra should be 16, Aqua should be 14 and Ven should be 12 when he arrived!

What backs up my claim is that the voice acting for them did try to make a younger impression of them in flashbacks, which sounds a bit funny just using their default models.

I like to always picture them younger on flashbacks bc is cute as heck to have more present visually time has passed for them.

That been said I agree with the other ask, the look of them looking like they age would have been so cool to see. Robbed as always but at least they are together again. ﾟ+(人・∀・*)+｡♪

You’re so right Romy!!!! I would’ve loved that so much but I understand why they didn’t make separate models just for 1-2 scenes. Wouldn’t it have been cute if they had different/simpler outfits and slightly different hair, like how Ven’s is shorter in his khux sprite? Ah well, headcanon time.

[jkateel]

thinking about all the fen’harel statutes all over thedas. obviously the ones with an upright wolf imparted something to his rebels: some sort of item to assist them; a wayfinder to a safe location; just a visual reminder they are in dread wolf territory and the protections that come with that.

but they were also there just to piss the evanuris off, right? imagine your soldiers chasing after rebels, the lot of them disappearing and all that’s left is this wolf statue imbued with magic and no way to access it.

also thinking of the other fen’harel statues everywhere. I always wondered who built them. but now i think that some of them formed themselves in the fade, in response to his grief. who’s building all those howling wolves statues otherwise?

alternatively, they could have been built by his rebel forces post-Veil. Mourning their fallen hero or trying to remind all these lost slaves and servants and soldiers that Fen’Harel only ever wanted to protect and guide.

[ro-botany]

No but for real they should've let the wayfinders look physically older when they came back in 3. There's no reason I can think of that wandering the realm of darkness or being comatose in castle oblivion would have prevented aging. And given that we know Nobodies age, and that the other re-completed Org13 members didn't revert to the physical age they got split apart at, and that Xemnas looked a fair bit older than Terra when he died... Why did Terra's body not look older when he re-completed?

We were robbed of some bomb-ass new outfits and a visual cue for the weight of the passage of time for those characters, is what I'm saying.

[timeskip]

(thinking about ideas I'll never get done) I should make a visual novel about the God of Past investigating the relationship between the Overseer God of Time and Wayfinder (God of Death) and finding out that Wayfinder keeps getting trapped in timeloops and the reasons why it keeps happening and how it connects to the God of Time's decision to keep using his powers despite the way it keeps harming Wayfinder, and the deep set dysfunction in the time god's relationships with each other and how Past fears that his relationship with the God of Future will fall apart due to the way they've been burdened with the pasts of the older gods

[goodappleapyl-has-moved]

The One where a Poor Little Cabbage has feelings. [4]

[First], [2], [3], [5], [6]

Distracting herself had been her plan, yet she had seemingly blocked out the part of the meeting where the Astral Ward’s Moon Camp was mentioned. 

“Before you go…” Frode had called out to her. As she turned back towards him, he appeared to hesitate as if weighing his next words carefully. “Is everything okay between you and Isgarren? After the Tyrian Alliance meeting, he was complaining about you walking off. I know he can be…difficult.”

“Is that all?” Apyl replied, pointedly ignoring Frode’s question and hoping he would get the hint.

“Forgive me, it’s none of my business,” the Warden said with a sheepish smile. “Good luck out there.”

Of course it couldn’t just be a simple diplomatic mission to befriend the Lowland Kodan, nothing was ever easy for her. Apyl was also given the task from Isgarren (via Frode) to look for the missing kodan Wizard, Waiting Sorrow. Somehow, Apyl suspected this was the real reason behind this trip to Janthir, not just gaining new allies.

Sorrow had left the Tower long before Apyl's time. Any knowledge she had on her quarry was second hand. She wasn’t sure how exactly she was supposed to find someone she knew next to nothing about. But in the words of her favourite Tribune: she had done more with less. 

***

It turned out she didn't actually have to look far. Waiting Sorrow had been hiding in plain sight as the village healer, Fading Aurora. To add a cherry atop this metaphorical ice cream, the reveal of her identity came not long after yet another complication: titans. Creatures long thought to be wiped off the face of Tyria. This revelation warranted another meeting of the Tyrian Alliance to decide on a plan of action against this new threat. This meant that she had to face Isgarren again.

“I suppose it is too much to ask for an explanation as to why you are angry at me,” the Wizard said to her as she made her way out of the building after the meeting had concluded. 

It was, predictably, another headache inducing affair. Apyl hated the complications of politics and had found herself sympathizing with Isgarren’s frustration in having to wait. She simply wanted to slay the creatures and be done with it, not stand in a meeting and argue in circles. Something Frode had said had given her pause, though. The Ward had suffered during the war with Eparch and the Kryptis. Countless had lost their lives, even Mabon. Isgarren himself (not that he would admit it) had been possessed and were it not for Peitha’s timely intervention, might also have been among the dead, along with Apyl herself. Isgarren was tired, he could not be expected to carry the burden of protecting Tyria on his own, despite his protests.

Apyl turned to face him. Suddenly, her anger towards him seemed incredibly childish. He didn’t deserve her scorn, he had enough to deal with without his Wayfinder being irrationally mad at him.

“I was jealous,” she admitted. “That you revealed yourself to Countess Anise and Queen Jennah yet never thought to do the same to me. Yet you watched me all that time…” 

She allowed her thoughts to trail off, not really knowing what else to say. Neither, it seemed, did Isgarren. For once she observed genuine confusion on his face. Apyl could visualize him puzzling her words, trying to decipher the meaning. Millennia of knowledge was stored in that mind of his but he could not work it out. She couldn’t help chuckling at the unusual site.

“I care about you, Isgarren. More than I probably should.”

Before the Seer had a chance to connect the dots, she was gone. Magicked away to the Harvest Den way point.

[coruscantide]

A Dive into the Heart

The first time you see a hint of Kairi’s heart is in KH1 during Sora’s dive to the heart. During this prophetic dream sequence, he appears to be traversing the hearts of the Princesses of Heart who are technically all connected which is visualized by the staircases. Four of the Stations that appear are of those who’s identity as a princess has been outed. They’re already captured and put into a deep sleep, while the remaining three have yet to be discovered and thus their identities are shrouded in mystery on the single Station meant to be them.

What is a Station of Awakening?

A Station of Awakening is considered to be the ‘core’ representation of a person’s heart, most directly exemplified by Ventus and his struggles with Vanitas. Sora’s own heart manifests as a Station but it also takes on the appearance of Destiny Islands in KH1 during the opening sequence where projections of his friends can be seen, in KH2 where he’s sent when he’s sleeping alongside more projections of his friends until KH2, and in DDD where Roxas, Xion, and Ventus (and Ansem) can be found. It appears to be a ‘level’ above his Station so it may be considered the surface level of his heart. I say this because you only see him really ‘enter/travel’ through the areas of the heart by falling into the ocean in a literal dive to the heart and opening a door of light ( I find it interesting the Station he’s on when that happens represents the hidden princesses, including Kairi, which may have been a little foreshadowing ).

Going off the KH1 opening, the theme of darkness usually being found underneath the light or vice versa, and with Sora inclined toward the light, I abide by an old headcanon that Sora’s darkness is represented by the ocean surrounding the island. It’s lighter near the surface but the further down into the depths you go the darker it appears. Him diving into that ocean, diving into the darkness, brings him into his heart which is illuminated and appears bright against the surrounding abyss. It doesn’t only apply to Sora. We see the dive to heart by falling into a body of water implied to be an ocean occur multiple times for other characters too, like Roxas or the opening scenes in BBS and 0.2. It’s been used to represent a character’s fall into the darkness as well, mostly with the wayfinder trio via themselves or their wayfinders in the openings to BBS and 0.2. As of KH3, we’re aware that sometimes Sora breaches the surface of that ocean and winds up in the Final World, though he doesn’t recall it later, and it happens because sleep is closely associated with both darkness and death with the edges between them blurring at times, allowing the occasional crossover.

What does the inside of Kairi's own heart look like?

Now with Kairi, the outermost surface level also takes on the appearance of Destiny Islands, the place she feels most at ease. However, tying into the times she is seen during these dives to the heart, it usually set under a perpetual sunset with shooting stars streaking across the sky, sometimes appearing as the time of midday.

Unlike Sora though her ocean is… different. The sea and sky are so expansive that it seems to reach out into infinity, and the layer of water is reflective to the point that it resembles a mirror. For some reason, it’s all much more reminiscent of the Final World.

Kairi can’t seem to ‘dive’ like everyone else. With the various openings if you look, whereas other characters are seen sinking into the water and darkness, notice that Kairi NEVER falls in during these instances. She can’t. Her image only ripples and distorts at best and she is always left above to walk on the water’s surface — like in the Final World. You cannot see any darkness beneath because there is nothing really tangible beneath the waves. Just ripples of repressed or lost memories.

If Kairi’s Station appears when she walks far away enough from the island, it simply ripples into existence right under the ocean’s surface with her in the center of it, expanding outwards with doves taking flight and raising higher and higher out of the water. Her surroundings melt away into the flock of doves, transitioning into a blank white void and leaving her with the stained glass the portraits of Sora, Riku, Namine, and Ansem, seeker of darkness beneath her feet, refracting the endless light into a seemingly ever shifting tide of color that’s both beautiful and haunting. If she focuses hard enough, she can trace the connection to the other princesses and staircases will appear to lead her to their heart.

Why the Final World?

In Melody of Memory, a version of the Final World is seen within her heart, a recreation of her memories that she eventually reaches while searching for clues. The thing is… it’s the exact same type of construct on the surface level of her heart as her Destiny Islands. Technically this is a dive to the heart for her like many other people. There is a reason why DESTATI of all songs (the main theme of the Awakening/Dive to the Heart) starts playing during the encounter with Xehanort. He’s the equivalent of the Darkside and Twilight Thorn that Sora and Roxas had to fight. But he’s different somehow. Despite the implied belief of Kairi that he’s nothing but an illusion or memory created from Kairi’s heart, Xehanort’s strangely aware of what’s happening and making comments Kairi herself couldn’t possibly know, like figuring out where Sora is from his abrupt interference in their fight. Unfortunately for Kairi, this Xehanort appears more similar to the Ansem that’s been tormenting Riku for years even after his demise. So, uh, fun times ahead.

But a funny little detail is that at the beginning of this section, while it’s later acknowledged to be taking place within Kairi’s heart, the area gets the same introduction you get whenever you enter a ‘real’ world in the games and when Sora first arrived to the Final World. It seems to be the only occurrence of this within the entire game. I’m not even sure if a dive into a person’s heart transitioned into a world intro like that before.

Because her heart just has to be even more weird, while she’s in this state it manifests itself outside of her body specifically in its flower form and moves independent of her physical body (please note that every(?) other time in the series a heart is separated from the body like that the person basically dies in short order but kairi is. Fine). It breaks itself apart to literally guide her to the answer she seeks. Guys? This isn't normal. She’s interacting with her own heart in such a manner when she’s technically inside it at the moment. It's clearly different from every else who has moved about as a disembodied heart.

This change into a flower is another important detail. Hearts don’t really have a physical form per se, but change their outward appearance when outside the body depending on different factors of how it's removed. It’s natural state is an orb of light. When a person dies as the body and heart perishes at the same time, some persist through a connection keeping them tethered and the hearts take on the appearance of a star of light. If an enemy like the heartless kills someone and steals the heart, it takes on a heart shape. Kairi’s own was seen as an orb of light previously in KH1. However, after KH3 it took on the form of a crystal flower as a result of her being crystallized and shattered. She's not currently dead but being in this deep sleep / almost death-like state and being in a place where the lingering dead reside apparently was enough trigger a change and cause her heart manifest itself in the state it was at the moment of her own death experience. She then tracks down the pieces of her heart, much like when Sora’s heart had to gather his body after he was conceptually broken apart, only it’s reversed now.

It all ties together to imply these events are happening within the real Final World at the same time.

The truth is Kairi’s heart — technically all Princesses of Heart — is likely directly connected to the Final World. The personal versions in their hearts overlap with the real one, making it easy to cross over much like how one can access it from the Sleeping Worlds and the Dive to the Heart. This close connection to the Final World - and therefore the other side - is what enables Sora to appear within her heart at all after a year of radio silence to beat Xehanort’s ass, even if his voice cannot cross the distance. Why would this connection exist though?

Heavy existing star symbolism with Kairi and light in general aside, perhaps it has to do with the nature of the place and the princesses themselves. The Final World is a limbo for the deceased that exists on the border between sleep and death and a border to ‘unreality’. It’s a place of deep connection, and connection is very important to Kingdom Hearts. All hearts return to Kingdom Hearts, aka it is the final resting place. Everything that dies returns to the same place to reconnect and then be reborn. The Final World could be a step down from wherever Kingdom Hearts truly resides. As parts of a whole that exists as a counterpart to Kingdom Hearts itself, it makes morbid sense that the princesses would appear as close as they can to it without actually dying themselves, whether they realize or not.

[nellandvoid]

me sneaking into the kitchen at 3 am for some mac and cheese

i gave the wayfinder a bit of a redesign cause i felt like her old mask may have been a bit clunky, so here’s a quick sketch showing off the new digs! her mask is still broken up into 3 pieces, but is held together magnetically by the visor - each piece can be worn separately, and each has an important purpose (top section mainly intimidation factor lol, middle section is audio and visual processor that translates alien languages and scans area for threats/makeup of landscape respectively, bottom section dimensional translator and oxygen tank plus intimidation factor)

also i updated the purpose of her extra arms - they’re semi-sentient permanent arm braces after a serious injury in the nightmare realm

[tryslora]

What I'm Reading Wednesday...

On the Duck Prints Press reading server, it’s What I’m Reading Wednesday where we all share what we finished in the last week, what we are currently reading, and what we think of these books.

I figured hey, why not bring that to the rest of the world for myself. Because I love yelling about my current reads. And I’ve always got several things in motion at one time, between physical, audio, and ebooks, plus things I’m reading for specific reasons.

Here’s the summary from the last week in visual format (the actual discussion is behind the read-more):

Fiction

I am currently reading Many Drops Make a Stream by Adrian Harley (from Duck Prints Press). There are so many things to love in this book. The world building packs so much into such a small space. The culture clash between human and shapeshifter is wonderful (and Harley’s shapeshifters truly have a culture all their own). I thought it was going to be a quick read because it’s short, but the language and depth of information have me going slower and savoring every word. That said, I’ve also reached the point where I want to take it in faster, so I find myself spending a little extra time every time I pick it up, just to get a few more pages!

Manga & Graphic Novels

I have one manga and one graphic novel in progress.

I’ve been reading The Complete Elfquest, volume 1 by Wendy & Richard Pini for a little over two weeks now. We have several of these volumes, and my intention is to read one chapter/issue a night, so I am able to savor them slowly, but also get through them. Reading this first volume is like coming home into a fandom from childhood. The first chunk of it was also collected in the original Warp Graphics compilations, and I can’t remember how often I read those back in high school. I’m reaching the parts now where I probably only read the individual issues once or twice, so it’s familiar, but not to the point where I’m like oh yes, I remember gazing at that panel for hours. I still love these elves, and this story, and I cannot wait to get home each day and be allowed to read a chapter. I’m looking forward to when I reach new-to-me material.

I watched the 24 episode anime The Apothecary Diaries and I wasn’t ready to let it go when it was over, so I started reading the manga by Natsu Hyuuga and Nekokurage. I finished volumes 5 & 6 this past week and am currently reading volume 7. I have the remaining already published volumes waiting for when I’m done with this. I adore Maomao and Jinshi, and am incredibly excited to get to the point where canon moves past what is in the anime. That said, getting to revisit events I already watched on TV and linger over what was said and the exact expressions has been soooo good. (And yes, I know the light novels also exist and will be rolling into those in ebook form after the manga; I might be a tad bit obsessed).

Audiobook

A while ago I thought “I should read some TJ Klune” so I checked the library list I had for audiobooks, and the first of his Extraordinaries trilogy was available in audio. I listened to it. I was addicted. I’m now on the third book—Heat Wave—and I find it very very hard to put it down. I can’t listen while working, only while commuting, walking, or doing chores—things that don’t require me to actually think so I can multi-task. But hey, it’s a GREAT way to get me to do my PT since it means fifteen minutes more of audiobook listening! Nick, the POV character, has ADHD and I flail a lot over pretty much everything he thinks and does. I love every character in this series. I love how Klune is using superheroes as an allegory for the queer experience and for racial issues, but at the same time, is actually addressing those issues explicitly. I both want to listen faster to find out what happens, and linger so it doesn’t end.

Ebook

I have been reading Wayfinder by CE Murphy, which is the second in a duology. This is a romance, yes, but it’s another fun culture clash book, this time between humanity and faerie, and I am so here for that. Murphy is an author I used to read a lot from, and I’m trying to work my way through her back catalog slowly because I’ve always enjoyed her style. Accessible and fun. This series is about a woman who has always been able to hear lies (a Truthseeker), and how her talent develops, and how she works with the faerie kingdoms to try to help them (despite some of them not wanting help, and the original situation not being the one she’s actually needed for).

Non-fiction

I have been working my way through three non-fiction books.

One is A Year of Zen by Bonnie Myotai Treace. I had been looking for a journaling prompt book, and decided to give this one a try. I made the difficult decision to write directly in the book itself, then the additional decision to let myself fail if needed. So if I don’t get to answer a prompt on a day, I just answer it the next day. One prompt per day. It’ll take me more than a year to go through it, but that’s okay. The idea is to have me think and write a short paragraph every day, and not feel guilty about messing up. It’s working surprisingly well. Learning to let myself fail has been a big part of my process this year, and hopefully I am learning to let go of some of the anxiety about things needing to be matched and rigid.

The one I am stalled on right now is The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. It was recommended as a book that therapists like to use for themselves, not merely recommend to their patients, and it reminded me of the radical acceptance I’m supposed to be practicing (and apparently am, despite myself, according to my therapist after she listened to me). The problem is, it has exercises (doesn’t everything?) and I stalled out because I didn’t have time.

Time is a theme, y’know? And that’s what happened with the last non-fiction book. I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, taking it as a self-guided 12 week course. I’m currently on week 5. However, I did a week of just doing morning notes before I really got started, then I took a week off when everything went haywire in my schedule because of the power outage. So it’s been about seven weeks so far. This week, as I worked on exercises, I found myself really digging in to my emotions about this book. And in the end, I decided that while I can see the value in some things, the book itself is giving me more anxiety about everything to do with my writing, while at the same time making it impossible for me to find time TO write (while following the advice it gives). So. I am no longer doing it as a course, with exercises, but I will finish reading it. And if an exercise appeals, I’ll do it. It’ll still take time, because I’ll probably still read one chapter each weekend, but I am already feeling WAY less stressed and I only made this decision last night.

So…

That’s it for me! What are you reading?