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na-ta-sh-aa · 1 year ago

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This chapter was so intense, it left me on the edge of my seat for the entire read, it was truly beautiful!🫶🏼

“How was this possible? You were a Goddess, never meant to die. But there, right above your brow, was the proof that you would. And what was worse is you didn't have much time. A few months. After doing the math, you realized your time would run out on your birthday. You'd barely get six months of marriage with Bradley.”

Oh no so the fact that she wasn't healing as usual was related to this?

"No." You state firmly. "I will not be doing that. Bradley is one of the few good things I have in my life. He is the first person to truly love me. He is my soulmates, and I will not cut our tether. If loving him means the end of my life, so be it." You tell Minthe.”

I loved this part! even if it was so sad it shows how much Hades loves bradley🥹

“The rest of the day, you wrestled your inner demons on whether or not you should tell Bradley. On one hand, he deserved to know. But on the other, him knowing that he was the reason you were dying, it would kill him. So, you decided not to tell him, at least not yet.”

This is such a difficult situation but seeing Hades make the decision that doesn't hurt Bradley still fills my heart with how strong their love is! Hades' first thought and priority is only Bradley!

“Reuben holds his wife close, and Bob kisses his wife while cradling his son in his arms. Mickey's mom and dad hug him while Nat and Javy say goodbye to both of their families. Jake's girlfriend Jasmine clings to him as he buries his face in her natural curls and kisses her head. Maverick and Penny whisper hushed and tearful goodbyes before breaking apart and boarding behind you and Bradley.”

I loved so much the care and precision with which you managed to write this part, you perfectly conveyed the emotions and moments before a departure in such a realistic way!

“That night, in that shared, cramped bunk, Bradley makes love to you like it's the last time he will ever get to hold you, and you love him back just as hard and just as fierce and with every ounce of your soul.”

Why does this part make me suspect that something really bad will happen during the mission?

"No buts, Angel. We all come home. Six planes in, six planes out." He leaves no room for argument. "We are leaving this boat with eight souls. We are coming back with eight of them, too." Bradley says, as if speaking it into the universe will somehow make it true.”

These words from Bradley were so beautiful, he is truly a perfect team leader, he knows when to motivate, when to reassure and always knows how to use the right words at the right time!

“But as he fell, you realized he was falling too fast. His parachute was tangled. If you didn't do something, he would surely crash into the sea below and die.”

“So, you ignored the warning that Minthe gave you because you knew what you had to do. You didn't think. You acted as you let the fire of your true goddess form burn through your veins one final time.”

Omg she risked her life transforming herself to save Bradley, it was such a noble and loving gesture😭🫶🏼

The chapter was so intense and beautiful! The story is increasingly compelling and full of twists and turns, I love it! I liked how you described the moments before and during the mission. I'm very curious to know what will happen to Hades now and if she will somehow manage to save herself. I'm not ready to see Bradley and Hades separated forever😭 I love them too much💗

false god

Series Warnings: Mythology!AU. Language, alcohol, drinking. Military inaccuracies. Mutual pining, unrequited love. Allusions to and full smut. Minors DNI. 18+. Individual chapter warnings will come as needed. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

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Chapter 18: Lose Control

The bed was cold without Bradley this morning. He'd left early to go to Maverick's workshop. The Bronco needed a few tune ups, and Maverick's shop had everything Bradley needed. He'd kissed you goodbye early this morning with a promise to be home by dinner. It had been a while since he'd been able to spend some time with his pseudo-father, and you encouraged him to have fun.

Resolving that you weren't going to get any more sleep, you rolled out of bed and stretched before meandering into the shower. Without Bradley in there with you, you felt the anxiety of being around water creeping in, causing you to spend less time in there than you would have liked.

You got out and dried yourself off before dragging your hand across the mirror to clear the steam.

You froze as you stared at your reflection.

There, looking back at you, was something you'd only see on other people. The neat row of numbers ticking away just above your head.

A lifetime counter.

How was this possible? You were a Goddess, never meant to die. But there, right above your brow, was the proof that you would. And what was worse is you didn't have much time. A few months. After doing the math, you realized your time would run out on your birthday. You'd barely get six months of marriage with Bradley.

You just didn't understand. It didn't make sense. But then you thought back to the cut from the mug at his aunts house. The soreness in your muscles. The fatigue you had. The bruises that seemed to come from nowhere that took ages to fade.

Something was wrong, and you needed answers.

You threw on some clothes and raced to your kitchen.

You grabbed a sprig of mint and quickly lit it. Moments later, Minthe appeared before you with worry written on her face.

"Hades." She breathed out as she took your hands. "I have horrible news, my lady."

"I'm dying." You say before she can speak again.

"How? How do you know?" Minthe asks. "I saw a lifetime counter above my head. I'm going to die on my birthday. But I don't understand. How is this possible? I thought I had one lifeline left." You say.

"Hecate and I weren't sure either. We were doing our regular check of the lifelines when we came across yours, and well—simply put, it's crumbling. It's very similar to when a mortal has a disease that kills them slowly rather than a fast snip of the line." Minthe explains to you.

"But I'm immune to mortal diseases." You insist. "Yes, we know that, which it was why we found it so strange. So we immediately consulted the Fates, and well—" Minthe sighs.

"What did they say?" You press her. "They said your lifeline is crumbling because you've spent too much time away from the Underworld and because—because you're married and tethered to a mortal." Minthe looks at you with sad eyes.

You swallow thickly. "So, if I go back to the Underworld, turn into my true form for a bit, that would help restore it?" You ask her.

"No!" She shouts at you. "Turning back into your true form takes so much of your strength. It would kill you!" She says. "The— for lack of a better term— best solution would be to ask Hera and Aphroditie to cut your tether with Bradley. That would give you enough time to complete your quest of worthiness."

.............

"I understand, my lady. Hecate and I will see what we can do to help stop your line from crumbling. But for now, please he careful. I do not wish to see you back home unless you are sitting on your throne." Minthe says. She takes your hands and gives them a squeeze before hugging you and disappearing, leaving only the smell of mint behind.

The rest of the day, you wrestled your inner demons on whether or not you should tell Bradley. On one hand, he deserved to know. But on the other, him knowing that he was the reason you were dying, it would kill him. So, you decided not to tell him, at least not yet.

You'd give yourself a few weeks to figure it out.

You could tell that someone was wrong the moment you and Bradley stepped onto base Monday morning. The air was charged with negativity.

You'd no sooner made it through the doors of the building before you were being pulled into a briefing room with Cyclone, Maverick, and Warlock.

"Gentleman," you began, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Commander Bradshaw," Cyclone cleared his throat, "we have credible intelligence that there is a cargo ship in the Pacific right now that is bringing a large amount of illegal weapons a bomb making materials to a nation that doesn't have our best interests at heart. It's currently being escorted by a foreign Naval aircraft carrier, which provides surveillance for it. We have been asked to take a small team out to destroy both the cargo ship and the carrier." He tells you.

"Admiral, when I came here, it was for a teaching position. I was brought here to train the next generation of aviators and to take the Daggers from good to the best. I did not come here to lead another death-wish mission." You say.

"Hades. We aren't asking you to lead the mission." Maverick chimes in. "Then what are you asking me?" You turn towards him.

"We are asking you how you would fly it. What would you do." Warlock tells you as he pulls up a graphic. You study the picture in go over the scenarios in your head.

"You're going to need five jets. Three singles and two doubles." You say after a long while. "Why?" Cyclone asks you.

A single and a double to drop a coordinated bomb strike on the cargo ship at the same time another pair strikes the aircraft carrier and then a single to provide back up in case you're spotted before taking them out and they launch their own airstrike." You reply.

They shake their heads, whispering amongst themselves.

"And of the Daggers, who would you pick to fly this?" Warlock asks you.

"Hangman, Coyote, Phoenix, Bob, Payback, and Fanboy. Rooster as mission leader." You tell them.

"And why Rooster for mission leader?" Cyclone asks you. "Because he listens. He cares. He looks out for the whole team." You tell them.

"Well then, who would fly as the spare?"

"Me. Obviously." You say without hesitation.

"Commander Bradshaw, I'm sure you're well aware of Navy regulations and why you can't do that." Cyclone sighs.

"Admiral, with all due respect, I don't give a fuck about the Navy regulations." You chuckle. Everyone's eyes go wide.

"With the information you've given me, there is no way that our planes aren't spotted before delivering the payload. The other carrier will have time to launch aircrafts. The Daggers are going to need a spare ready to launch and go straight into a dogfight or tactical position. Who else has more experience in that than me? Furthermore, there is not a pilot, living or dead, in the Navy that's better than me. I'm not sending my friends and my husband into a situation like this without the best possible backup." You state.

"Well, Hades. If you're the best pilot in the Navy, why are you not naming yourself as the mission leader?" Cyclone challenges you.

"For the same reason you never put your best batter first in the lineup, you need someone to clean up the mess everyone else makes." You lean back in your chair.

"Commander Bradshaw, while your reasoning is sound. I can not send you on a mission of this caliber with your husband. I'm already bending the rules by keeping you on the same squadron!" Cyclone tells you sternly.

"Then I guess you'll have to find another squadron to fly this mission, sir." You chuckle.

"Excuse me?" Cyclone grits out, surging forward in his chair.

"Admiral Simpson, as you know, I have thirteen confirmed kills and zero failed missions. Do you know what thirteen confirmed kills and no mission failures get you in the Navy?" You ask him as you cock you head to the side. The men across from you are silent, their eyes fixed on you.

"I'll tell you what it gets you. It gets you a lot of friends. Powerful friends who are grateful for your work and owe you a favor. And I won't hesitate to go to one of those friends who out ranks you cash in one of those favors. Face it, you need me and the Daggers to fly this mission because no one else is as good as we are. So, either you bend the rules even more, or we all walk away. Your choice, Simpy." You click your tongue before crossing your arms.

You can see the rage in Cyclone's eyes. He knows you're right. Everyone in the room knows you're right. Cyclone holds eye contact with you, waiting for you to break, to call your bluff. But you're a goddamm Goddess who has never bowed down to a mortal and you're not about to start now.

"Fine." Cyclone breathes out when he realizes you're not bluffing. "I thought you'd see it my way, Admiral. Now, when do we leave?" You ask the men in the room.

"Friday. We will tell the rest of the Daggers today. That means every moment from now until we ship out is spent training. Is that understood?" Admiral Bates says.

"Understood. Now, if there isn't nothing else, I'd like to be dismissed to regroup with the rest of my team." Bates nods his head once, and you get up and exit the room.

..............

The news of mission doesn't settle well with the Daggers. You can tell they feel under prepared and caught off guard. You sympathize with them. Being given a mission of this caliber on such short notice, it's scary.

The car ride home with Bradley is silent. Neither of you know what to say.

The rest of the week goes by in a blur.

Soon, you're standing in a parking lot holding your husband's hand as you watch the rest of the Daggers, and the crew say goodbye to their loved ones.

Reuben holds his wife close, and Bob kisses his wife while cradling his son in his arms. Mickey's mom and dad hug him while Nat and Javy say goodbye to both of their families. Jake's girlfriend Jasmine clings to him as he buries his face in her natural curls and kisses her head. Maverick and Penny whisper hushed and tearful goodbyes before breaking apart and boarding behind you and Bradley.

You wish you could go up to all of the families that your friends are leaving behind and tell them that they are all going to be okay. You've checked. You know. The only person who might not come back for this mission is you. You'll keep them safe. You vow that to yourself.

You've decided to still not tell Bradley about your impending death. He has enough on his plate. You know that you probably aren't supposed to, but the two of you share a bunk. And even though the bed inside it is barely big enough for Bradley, every night, you're crammed in there with him, practically on top of him, soaking in every moment the two of you have together.

The night before the misson, you and the rest of the Daggers gather in the mess hall. You eat and talk, and it's almost carefree. But you and everyone else no better than to let your guard down.

That night, in that shared, cramped bunk, Bradley makes love to you like it's the last time he will ever get to hold you, and you love him back just as hard and just as fierce and with every ounce of your soul.

It's the early hours of the morning when the two of you finish. You both know you should sleep, but neither of you can.

"Everyone is going to make it. Right?" Bradley asks you as the two of you lay naked in the dark. You turn on your side using his tattooed bicep as a pillow. He drapes your leg over his hip and begins to trace the lines and patterns of your tattoos that he knows so well. Including the rooster that now adorns your hip.

"Yes. I promise." You say trying to make eye contact with him. It's dark, but you can still see the lines of his face relax. "I wish we could tell them, tell their families." Bradley says. "I know, me too." You agree.

Bradley cups your chin and brings your lips to his, and kisses you tenderly. "Why'd you name me mission leader?" He asks you. You'd been waiting for that question. "Because you're the best person for the job. You'll take care of everyone." You tell him. He opens his mouth to speak, maybe to argue with you, but a yawn comes out instead.

You both agree that you should rest. You need to be sharp for tomorrow.

A few minutes later, Bradley is fast asleep. Soft snores fall from his lips. You lay there in the darkness, gently tracing over his features. His forehead, his nose, his cheeks, his lips, his scars. You're committing all of them to memory just in case. Your lifetime counter hasn't changed, but you can't shake the feeling in the pit of your stomach that this is the last time you'll hold Bradley in your arms.

..............

The salt air stings your face as you stand on the deck of the carrier with your helmet in your arms. The sea breeze whips the stray strands of hair that refuse to stay pulled back around your face.

You and the rest of the squad have gone over the plan and your planes more times than you can count.

You hear a siren indicating that it's almost time. Everyone starts scrambling on deck. Bradley finds you and grabs you by the shoulders, forcing you to face him.

You linger at the side of your jet, looking at your name, Cmdr. Y/N 'Hades' Bradshaw, in the thick, black, and blocky letters.

"We all come home." He says. "What?" You ask him, looking confused.

"We all come home." He emphasizes. You know exactly what he means when he says that. Bradley has your number. He knows that you wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice yourself for him or the others if it came down to it.

"Bradley—" You breathed out, but he cuts you off.

You check his counter. It's still got the same fifty years it had earlier today. You sigh and nod your head, trying to ignore the feeling in the pit of your stomach.

................

Sitting in your plane as you listened to what was happening in the mission was torture. So far, everything was going according to plan.

Overwatch hadn't picked up anything unusual, and the weather made flying smooth. Maybe you were wrong, and maybe you wouldn't even have to deploy, and everyone would land back on the carrier safely, and they would unload you out of the catapult and tonight you and Bradley would stay up having wild celebratory sex.

But the idea of all of that was soon banished from your mind as you heard Coyote call about a rouge strike team.

You lowered the canopy, ready to be launched at a moments notice.

Your heart thrummed in your chest, beating so loud it filled your ears to the point that you almost didn't hear Cyclone screaming for you to launch.

You did so quickly. Your F/A- 18 sliced through the air as you pushed the throttle forward on your way to rescue your team. You were a few minutes out, and you could hear them calling out moves and counter moves to help each other stay safe.

Hangman was out of out of flares, and you could hear Bradley saying that he was coming to cover him. The closer you got to the team, the more smoke and gunfire you could see.

You quickly lined up a shot before sending a missle through the plane of one of the bandits that was on Phoenix. She and Bob thanked you as you circled back around. You directed them to head back to the boat and for Coyote, Payback, and Fanboy to follow them. You would help Bradley and Jake. There was only one other plane and you knew you could take them.

Jake called out desperately that he was out of ammo and missiles, and Bradley was almost out of flares. Thankfully, you were able to force the pilot of the enemy plane near some cliffs of some tiny island that ran along the shores' edge.

It confused their navigation enough for you to take them out. Quickly, you, Bradley, and Jake all made your way back towards the safety of the carrier while breathing a sigh of relief.

Only, it was short-lived because moments later, another bandit was on Jake's tail.

Before you could do anything, Bradley swooped in to protect him, using the last of his flares to throw the missile attack of, giving Jake time to fly ahead to safety, leaving Bradley with the bandit on his tail.

You were out of missiles and down to a few rounds of ammo left, but them enemy was locked on and so close to Bradley that if you fired, you might risk taking out your husband. You didn't know what to do.

Then, before you could think of a plan, you hear Bradley cry out that the other pilot and missile lock on him, and he had no way to deflect it.

You told him to quickly get as much altitude as he could. Bradley listened and jetted back up towards the clouds, giving you a chance to fire at the other pilot.

But you weren't fast enough. The enemy pilot was able to fire a final shot before plummeting into the water below. The shot was just close enough to clip the tail of Bradley's plane causing him to lose control.

You screamed for him to eject, panic setting in because you couldn't see his lifetime counter. You had no clue if this was the end for him. All you could think about was how it wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to end like this.

Thankfully, you heard Bradley eject and saw him burst from his cockpit before seeing the bright orange of his chute open.

But as he fell, you realized he was falling too fast. His parachute was tangled. If you didn't do something, he would surely crash into the sea below and die.

So, you ignored the warning that Minthe gave you because you knew what you had to do. You didn't think. You acted as you let the fire of your true goddess form burn through your veins one final time.

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kharljoe · 2 years ago

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In Taylor’s orbit of tales swirled with affection, our feelings ignite.

Then each song a lyric that was written so bright.

Recall our fearless beginnings, when our hearts took flight,

I said remember this moment when my eyes saw you at first sight.

Let’s go Back To December, where it all began.

We promised we’ll never have our Cornelia Street,

Because what we have will always live,

Enchanted moments in daydreams we keep.

Mine’s placid notes and tones, a tale was told,

From our library squints to a love so profound

Mine captures our memories worth to keep.

Chanting the chorus, a vow revealed,

Let’s “hold on and make it last.”

And I don’t know why,

But my fearless love took your hand.

My hand was shaken, as every lyric danced.

Through ups and downs, our love will soar,

Fearless echoes will be heard forevermore.

And now we’re together!

Can we always be this close forever?

Imagine living with Christmas lights,

We’ll do this together in December –

a season where it all began.

Thus, cheers to us! As the months unfold,

Cherishing to the narratives these songs hold.

In Swiftie’s universe, our feelings hunt its home,

Forever unites, as our love roam.

A homage to your Swiftie heart’s desires,

I gift you these crafts, forever in hue.

On this day, your birthday and our monthsary is blue.

The universe we live will always be ours and true.

Indeed, long live all the magic we made.

To my boyfriend, a fan of love and melody, and rythm and blue

I love you.

Happy birthday my Leo guy! Happy 5th monthsarry to us! Long live, Bebi.

p.s. sana mapiling ifuck, may douche, condom, at lubricant na ayeeeee💗💗💗

#Spotify

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zu-is-here · 4 years ago

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Hi Zu!

How would you describe your handwriting? Do you like it? Do you write by hand often? What do you think about calligraphy?

I believe I've never heard of this poet, but you have an incredible taste, that's a fact, so I'm definitely going to do some reading now ✨ And I read Words before writing the response to you, and this poem is good indeed, just as expected from something you recommended (: The meaning is deep and important, and I like the choice of words and the rhythm it creates. And, obviously, I do like poetry as well, although I don't read it as often as I'd like. I'm just very serious when it comes to poems, so I need all the focus on that. Which is difficult, especially when I'm not quite alright... I read modern poets a bit more often though. Every now and then something comes up on my dash in vk, and sometimes I can't help but take a look. So, um, I apparently don't really have favourites, since there's a lot more for me to read and learn. Perhaps one day I'll have an answer. And, well, yeah, I did try writing poems, still do actually... Some of the words just come to me in the form of poem and not prose. People seem to like it as well, I even performed a few times... That was an experience for sure (x

Oh, you have no idea. I was forbidden to do many things, going farther than a street away from home is one of them. And we lived in a house, not flat, so streets are very close to each other, and traffic isn't that busy there, etcetera. My family's been unreasonable since forever. That's just how it is.

Well, I like to think it is a special kind of magic — holding a conversation with the universe itself, with both outer world and inner world, my own and the person's for whom I'm reading the cards ✨ To be honest, when you said you don't believe in supernatural, it made me a bit hesitant about mentioning this whole thing at all, but now I'm glad I shared this. It's nice to talk about it and being heard even despite our different views. By the way, if you'd ever like to get an advice like that, my cards and I are always there.

Oh. Wow. Sounds absolutely amazing, and your enthusiasm is simply contagious! No way this topic is dangerous, I love listening to people gushing about things they like, even if I don't share their interest, it's the best anyway ✨✨✨ And I'm so glad to know you have the opportunity to indulge yourself like that, it's just awesome. Do keep bringing yourself joy! Also I'm glad to provide an opportunity to talk about it, again, you clearly enjoyed yourself, and that's exactly what I wanted (: As for me, I'm not as much of a fan as you are, but I do like tea and coffee. Though I mostly use tea bags, and there is much more milk and sugar and sometimes syrup in my coffee than, well, coffee itself (x

Yay! 'Re-watching and appreciating Major Grom the masterpiece even more' squad! Now I'm even more excited, even though we'll go separately, in different dates and places. Still!

Your excitement really means a lot to me, it's... soothing in a way. Somehow makes me feel less afraid to mess up. Strange, but true.

Okay, now I'm happy (albeit quite embarrassed) that you're happy, it's a loop! The class was good, but the more progress I make, the more obvious it gets that we need more time, ahem. But that we can't afford, unfortunately, and I can't help stressing over it, especially since it's very likely that I won't get into the course with Chinese in university. Hope I'll be able to make it work after all, even if right now I have no idea how.

Let me tell you that I'm so grateful and glad you didn't resist the urge to draw! That crossover art is absolutely lovely, and the idea is cool! It's so in-character, and oh, the expressions... I do love the whole of it 💗

However, I also hope you did get enough sleep, and no nightmares interrupted your rest 🌻

Take care!

Hi anfie╰(*´︶`*)╯

Tbh I have several handwritings depending on the speed and angle of writing (thanks to my lecturers XD) despite the fact I write by hand quite infrequently *click click* Though my main one is like... a piano passage? Pretty fast, continuous, downhill ♪ What's yours like? *^*

By the way, it's just a theory and I may be completely wrong, but are you left-handed?

As for the poetry, that's the right approach! And it's really nice to have such variety for reading *^* Modern ones, you say? I was once at a modern poety evening, and it left me speechless... not in the good way, not gonna lie. The poems were full of feelings yet in profanity, and it didn't sound like a soul's cry but like a cry literally. Sure not all the poetry nowadays is like that, I believe, but I was kinda disappointed for the untapped possibilities of our beautiful, rich language. Though I in no way condemn them, for they have the full right. Luckily, the evening ended on a pleasant note when a woman came out from the audience and read her poem as a counterweight. It was no less lively and expressive yet very reverent and careful to every single word, every sound and pause... that was the poetry ˚✧₊⁎

You did perform with your poems?? \(//∇//)\ Isn't is magnificent! How was it? I'm sure you left the audience impressed ☆ Could you maybe share a bit with me, if you'd like to? It not, it's alright! Live performance is a special pleasure, after all <3

Ohhh I feel you (ó3ò) The more rules and limits, the more sweeter freedom, the sharper the boundaries of personal space... Guess your parents were just really worried about you and didn't want you to get into trouble (ówò)

May no one stop you from expressing yourself╰(*´︶`*)╯There's nothing wrong about having your own different opinion! As I said, there are many different ways for trying to explain supernatural, and they all matter. That's why it's called supernatural, cause we can't explain it, but it doesn't mean this doesn't exist or work or that we are completely wrong. After all, we're all different but we still respect each other and accept ourselves and others <3 Wow– can I get an advice even from a distance? (°▽°) I don't have any questions to ask now tbh, say, what can / can't be known with the cards? *^*

And thank you so much for listening to me ♡ You're a wonderful interlocutor, and I'm always pleased with your attention and responsiveness (〃ω〃) Oh, I can’t speak for coffee since I don’t drink it but many tea bags deserve more sugar and milk for sure XD

Yay the squad! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)☆ We can share our new impressions and opinions with each other next time <3

Oh don't be afraid to mess up, that's what can make your work special <3 I mean, it doesn't have to be perfect. You're doing great already! (*'▽'*) And don't even worry about the future, everything will happen in the best way ☆ Just live the moment!

Again, thank you a lot for your support (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ I'm really happy to see others getting interested in the originals and sources or recognize the references (that's even better)! That's what makes me happy (๑>◡<๑)

I did <3 Though there's a long night of Easter preparations ahead... ☆ How was your day today? I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

Take care *hugs* ♡

#ask #zu is happy

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soulhealinggypsyblog · 2 years ago

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This Thanksgiving, I am SO incredibly grateful to be out here living my best life. 🙏✨💗

It takes guts and courage to follow your dreams, especially when you take a leap of faith into the unknown. 😬 This path is no joke and may not be for everyone, but one that is so worth fighting for, if you ever find yourself in this position. 🙏✨💗

For those who may not know, I gave up a successful corporate job so that I may step into my purpose. Mind you, this transition was not in my 20s, but mid 30s. 🤦‍♀️ What was I thinking!? 😂 Crazypants, I know. 🤪

But truth is, I was just becoming who I truly am. Finding my way, as I truly open up to walking the path I was meant to walk, shutting out all of the noise and my insecurities. It was no easy feat and at times, I am still working on those insecurities!!...because, I am having a human experience after all...and a bit pig headed (stubborn) as well. 🤪 hehe

Thank god for my family, as their belief in me and my dreams has kept me going the past 5 years, as I have been navigating this transition, not to mention adding covid to the mix, for a little more fun. 😝

And to my many friends...some who I have known since HS or for what feels like a bazillion year and are like family, accepting me and saying "that makes sense" when I was scared to even tell them my truth. Some of them even holding me down through those "woah is me, my life is over" moments, 😂🤦‍♀️🙃 and the newer ones who have allowed me to be my authentic self, supporting me, as they too on some level could relate. 😜 I thank you!!! 💗 I am beyond grateful to have the beautiful tribe that I have in my life. They are truly a blessing. 🙏 Love you ALL!! 🤗

After 5 years of growth and expansion, contemplation, action, and a WHOLE LOT of patience 🤦‍♀️😂😁, I am finally out here starting to live out my passion - helping others to heal themselves. What a gift it is to be able to serve others! 🙏 It is truly my joy to do what I do and the fact that I get to feed my wanderlust soul at the same time, is truly a dream come true. ✨

Last but certainly not least, I want to thank the Universe - my DREAM team - which includes my guides, angels, and family out in the ethers and my earth angels and guides here on this plane of existence (my human mentors, dear friends and confidants who have been supporting me throughout this journey). I am grateful for our soul contracts and for you being in my life, helping me navigate my rollercoaster of emotions and life experiences. I truly appreciate you giving me the courage to be who I am, to help me open up to the expansive being I have become and what is yet still to come, and for always being my guiding light. ✨ I am incredibly grateful to experience each and every one of you in this way. It is truly an honor. 🙏

Though I try to always live in gratitude, I just wanted to take the time on this day of giving thanks, as I am currently in Kolkata (formerly Calcutta), India teaching my program, to acknowledge and to put into writing, just how grateful I am for this journey. For all of the good, for all of the hard, and for everything in between. All of it is truly a blessing. 🙏✨💗

If you have gotten this far, thank you!! Thank you for seeing me and for allowing me to be heard. 🥰 I wish you ALL a wonderful Thanksgiving!! 🤗🤗🤗

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hersweetrevenge · 2 years ago

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woke up extra early for no reason today, saw you had posted, read this new chapter and then fell back asleep to dream on it lol 💗 i love the shift in tone at this point in their relationship. and man, i knew it was coming, but the growing tension of "things are too good, so something's got to give" and veronica's wariness has me on the edge of my seat 👀

All Corey knows how to make is bad choices. He was never going to do the right thing... Selfish asshole.

this is one of the concepts that makes a daily rotation in my mind. i know we've said before that our versions of corey work under different circumstances, but i do love the idea of him in relation to whether he's being selfish or not. he goes his whole life never getting what he wants, being controlled and manipulated, and i feel like it's inevitable that he hits a point where (whether he acknowledges it or not) he acts selfishly just to have some sort of control or self-indulgence. he's been telling himself he shouldn't be around people, that people will get hurt, but he wants so badly to have someone who is his. he gives in because he's gone without for so long, he can't bare it anymore. if that makes him selfish, a part of him says so be it, while another says he should be wracked with guilt.

He’d wanted that more than anything. That isn’t true though, is it? He’d wanted her more than almost anything. There were things he wanted more.

so obsessed !! ahhh just corey being someone who never got what he wanted, no matter how much he wanted it. he went through life hoping that he'd get what he wanted eventually, if he just worked hard and waited, just a little bit longer, then one day it'd happen. corey being self-aware enough to know, but not necessarily regret, his indulgence in what he wanted. i think it scares him a little that what he wanted in his core, was so violent. his want for revenge far outweighed the want for friends, or a romance or academic success.

Back and forth, smiling and frowning into your hair in the gloom of the bedroom. Crying. Laughing. Spiralling.

this description is so beautiful !! the atmosphere is built to well in this whole paragraph, like i understand exactly that weird time where it's not quite night and not quite dawn. the stillness, the quiet, the way it could still be a dream but every emotion is feels so intense you just know you're not dreaming.

corey getting caught up in his own thoughts feels very accurate. he's either suppressed the things he didn't want to think about, or otherwise didn't have anyone to talk to about them, so he tends to get stuck in his own echo chamber maybe ??

“I can’t explain. It’s like... It's like I’m cursed.” He says finally.

i love the contrast between his pre-accident feelings about his own place in the universe (insignificant, unimportant, certainly not interesting enough to get caught up in the michael myers story) compared with now, where he really believes he's cursed, that what happened to him was because of something inherent to his being. and by extension, what he does is significant enough to spread the curse.

He wants to lose himself in you so bad.

you did it, you broke corey cunningham down to his base component. i see that in him too; just wanting to stop thinking or worrying about anything at all. and the connection he makes between the reader being the only one he can get that relief from just reinforces the desperation he feels to hold on to you.

He drops his head back to your chest and basks in the hot, soft hug of your cunt.

yes, yes, yes !! this is so silly, stupid hot 💗 corey is a boob guy all day long. i can totally see him really liking the comfort aspect of intimacy and love making, like he could genuinely stay like that all day because what better way is there for him to feel safe and wanted.

Being wanted and admired by you threatens to overwhelm him

i just love how slow and languid this feels compared to the previous night, like this time all that emotion and devotion is being set in stone. how overwhelming it is to be someone's.

weirdly, i love the phrase "slowly sinks back in" too 👀 sinking, idk just something about it scratches an itch for me, the way it evokes this whole idea of being absolutely wrapped up in each other and enveloping each other completely. something something, loves you so much he wants to be inside you entirely, so that you're the only thing he feels.

It kills you that this is obviously hurting him.

no !! no, please 😭😭 never mind hurting corey, this is hurting me lol i know it's the right thing, how you shouldn't give up tour individual life for a shared one entirely, but idc i will give up everything for him, i want to be with him every minute of every day lol

but aside from that, i love the implications of this though 👀 corey is nothing if not obsessive (thank you joan, you ruined a perfectly good boy), he doesn't know any other way than to make the subject of his affection the one and only thing in his life. it's going to hit hard that he can't be with reader as much as possible, even if logically he knows he isn't about him, he likes his alone time as much as the next introvert, but just when he thought his loneliness was over...

“Jesus Christ! Was he trying to devour you?” Veronica says. “Something like that,” you reply. You can’t help but smile as you pat your collar back into place. “Isn’t that what boyfriends do?”

veronica knows what's up lol i love her characterisation, she's so blunt but genuinely caring, because nothing she says is mean.

and the real joy that comes from reader when she talks about corey to other people !! i can feel it, maybe it's already there for me lol but if so your writing captures its exactly, distils it into dialogue that feels so coy and playful and authentic.

By some miracle not all of it had fallen into the bottomless pit of Corey’s stomach.

he's a growing boy, he needs to be well fed. especially after being homeless and just, not being able to trust know he'll get another meal. even going back to joan, i get the sense it was an "eat what he's been given because there's no alternative". and also, like we've said, he is in his prime "eats whatever he likes and is strong for no reason" stage and i love that for him. the comparison with a dog from the pound is perfect, not only about his appetite, but just the way he's never been able to just be content.

ahh you know what i'm going to say, but i truly do love this story !! and this was such a nice chapter to bridge the intensity of the chase to the more settled honeymoon phase. i love how you build individual doubts and struggles and tensions, even if the relationship could be perfect, seeing how both sides deal with it in their own heads is fascinating. thank you for delivering so much in every single chapter !! 💗

and i am so ready for veronica and corey to meet (whenever that may be); it could be a brawl (because veronica takes no prisoners when it comes to this) or they could become besties (because god knows corey needs a few friends) and i would be equally happy lol

Clean Again

Chatper 8: CURSED read on AO3 | previous chapter | tumblr chapter index make sure to check AO3 for this fic's playlist and other extras!

The morning after Reader and Corey's big night

general warnings for this fic - angst, fluff, smut (MDNI), canon-typical violence, canon-typical gore contents/warnings for this chapter - angst, passing mention of animal abuse, smut - PiV, soaking, cream pie.

3,339 words

@rebel-blue @heartrot666 @wolvesandvampires @cordelium @toxicanonymity @multifandom--mess @hersweetrevenge @futurewife @yllcm @ethanhoewke dm me or reply to this post to be added to the tag list 💕

Corey wakes when the sun is just barely starting to lighten the far edge of the sky. He reaches out for you in the dark and he finds you lying on your side, facing away from him. He pulls himself to you, wrapping you in his arms. You nuzzle into him in your sleep. He gets lost in the full body skin contact, in awe that the moment is real. In awe that you exist. A gallon of blood circulating in your veins, swishing and whirring around right under Corey’s hands.

The thought makes him woozy. He knows how precarious a life is, how simply one can end. He knows too, the consequences when a life does not end, progressing unnaturally past the expiration date. How everyone is always teetering, balanced on the edge of a knife. And how much more precarious your life has become since he entered it.

He did the wrong thing. He’s done nothing but the wrong thing since he was too fucking stupid to keep his eyes on the ground the first time he saw you. He did the wrong thing every time he noticed you getting more attached to him and didn’t walk away. He did the wrong thing every time he kissed you, every time he texted you good morning. Last night he let the last chance to do the right thing slip away.

All Corey knows how to make is bad choices. He was never going to do the right thing. He didn’t realize it at the time, but he made the last wrong choice as he made the first one. From the moment he saw you, he was always going to pick the option that kept him close to you. Selfish asshole. And now he’s earned a title: boyfriend. He can’t help but be proud of it. 10 years after all his peers, he’s finally hit a milestone he never thought he’d reach. Ugly, white trash, psycho Michael Myers copycat killer Corey Cunningham has a girlfriend.

Allyson should have been his first girlfriend. He’d wanted that more than anything. That isn’t true though, is it? He’d wanted her more than almost anything. There were things he wanted more. Revenge. Power. Seeing the fear in his victims eyes as the tables turned against them. Hadn’t he chosen those things over her? And it had gotten her killed. He shivers, trying not to imagine Allyson’s corpse, or yours, ashen, punctured all over with knife wounds. With a fresh start in a new place, he won’t make that choice again. Probably.

Corey feels smug, gloating glee. He feels paralyzing fear. He feels gnawing, rending guilt, and the tiniest wisp of hope. Back and forth, smiling and frowning into your hair in the gloom of the bedroom. Crying. Laughing. Spiraling. He didn’t do the right thing, but he can go for second best. He can do everything in his power to protect you from his past, and he can be a good boy and learn to control his temper so there’s nothing in the future that requires hiding. He’s not sure if he can do it. Last night he’d been preoccupied, but in the gloom this morning he fights the urge to destroy the unfaithful ex you mentioned. God help him if someone disrespects you in front of him. But he has to try. For you.

He drifts halfway back to sleep, exhausted by the turmoil, slipping partially into fucked up dreams before waking back up and repeating the cycle. Hours pass. The sun comes the rest of the way up and filters through the curtains. Turning the room from black to dark blue to gray. Finally, you stir in his arms, rousing him from another round of semiconscious shame. You roll over to face him.

“Hey,” you say quietly, giving him a groggy little smile.

“Hey,” he says.

You kiss him softly, then tuck your head under his chin, pressing in more tightly against him. The tension in his muscles releases. He stops spiraling. His past misdeeds, the danger he’s putting you in, all the peripheral bullshit dissolves. For now what matters is that you’re here. You’re alive and you’re his girlfriend and you’re naked and you’re so close to him it feels like you’re trying to crawl into his ribcage. Nothing could spoil this moment. He kisses the top of your head.

Corey’s hands roam your skin, drawing circles. When he gets too high up on your neck, he hears you wince a little and he pulls back in concern.

“Sorry about the hickies,” he says.

“Don’t be,” you murmur against his chest. “I like them.”

“You do?”

“Mmm. I’ll have to wear more makeup than I usually do for a couple days, but I like knowing they’re there even if no one else does. I’ll be carrying you around with me all the time.”

The sentiment is so sweet, it takes him by surprise. He chuckles and clears his throat.

“Last night you said, ‘I haven’t done this very many times.’ What does that mean?” You ask.

“Oh uh… I’ve been with a couple girls but only a couple. Never anyone more than once.” He hesitates, embarrassed. “You um… You’re my first actual girlfriend.”

You pull out of his arms and sit up, facing him. “What?” He flinches, but your voice is tender. “Corey, how is that possible? A sweetheart like you?”

He rolls onto his back and looks up at the ceiling. “I just…Nothing ever lasted long enough to get there. Something always went bad before I could…” He lets the sentence hang there, unfinished.

“Like what?” You put your hand on his stomach. The gentle warmth and light weight are soothing, but he struggles to come up with a way to tell you that won’t give him away. He sits up and takes your hands.

“I can’t explain. It’s like... It's like I’m cursed.” He says finally.

“Well, I intend to break that curse.” You bring his hand to your lips and brush his knuckles against them. “In fact, I think I know a spell that breaks curses.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks, apprehensive but amused.

“Yeah.” You say. You rise to your knees and swing one leg over his so you’re straddling his lap. “But it only works if the person reciting it is panting and moaning.”

He’s still not used to someone being so forward with him, and Corey can feel his face flushing instantly, even as his semi-stiff morning wood hardens completely. You hover over him, your labia barely brushing his shaft. Just that much contact makes a little moan escape his lips and he drops his head to your chest. You put your hands on the back of his neck and squeeze your tits together with your arms, the softness pressing in on him. He nuzzles you, using his nose to slip deeper between your breasts. He wants to lose himself in you so bad.

You lower yourself a little and wiggle so his cock slips between your lips. The warmth and wetness make his cock even harder, almost too hard. You slide yourself up the shaft, then back down, just once, slowly.

“Corey,” you huff, “I need it.”

The sound of your voice and the request combined make his breath catch. He pulls his head from your cleavage and looks up at your face. “How?” He whispers.

You slide one hand from the back of his neck up to his cheek. “However you want.”

What he wants is just to feel you around him, to admire you and be close to you. He reaches down with one hand and guides himself to your entrance, rubbing a circle around it before gliding in. You arch your back over the arm still wrapped around you and hum deeply. He pulls his hand out and you take him all the way. He shudders and groans, clamping his arms tight around your waist and holding you down.

“Don’t move,” he says, then he feels like he sounded too harsh. “Please,” he adds more softly.

He drops his head back to your chest and basks in the hot, soft hug of your cunt. You play with his hair and kiss his head. Corey wishes this could be his whole life. No more abuse, no more hiding, no more guilt or fear. Just your affection and the way you feel around him. But you start to get antsy, squirming and squeezing your pussy around him slightly. His hips move a little too. He can’t stay still if you don’t.

“Whatever you’re doing is cheating.” His muffled voice tells your tits.

“I can’t help it,” you whine. “You feel too good.”

He raises his head again and looks into your eyes. You give him The Smile. He thrusts up into you automatically. Holy shit.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” he says.

“You’re so pretty,” you reply, starting to ride him.

He chuckles nervously at your compliment, and his laughter turns to moans as you move your hips back and forth. He slides his hands down from your waist to your hips and digs his fingers into your soft flesh, keeping his eyes on your face.

You run your hands over his clavicles and pecs, and he can’t believe how smooth and gentle your palms feel. You take him by surprise when you brush lightly over his nipples, the sensation equal parts extremely foreign and extremely welcome.

“Ugh, these shoulders,” you say, bringing your hands back up his chest and down his arms slightly.

“My… my shoulders?” He asks, starting to struggle to talk.

“Mhm.” You nod your head in time with the rolling of your hips. “So broad… so strong… so freckled…Your body is gorgeous, Corey.”

No one has ever complimented him that way. Being wanted and admired by you threatens to overwhelm him and he uses his grip on your hips to slow your riding down. You whine and try to speed back up but he holds you firmly until you quit fighting. Wrapping his arms back around your waist, he brings his feet closer to him.

“Hold onto me,” he says, and you lace your fingers together behind his neck. He leans back then rocks forward, putting you on your back, with him on his knees above you. Somehow he stays inside you through the maneuver. You encircle his waist with your legs. He slides his cock almost all the way out of you, then slowly sinks back in. You both shudder.

Corey kisses you all over your face, fucking you as slowly and gently as he can manage, groaning with his lips against your face as he tries to last. You bring your hands down from his neck, sliding all the way down his arms to his wrists. Your fingers barely wrap halfway around. You let out a little moan every time he thrusts in, getting louder and louder. It doesn’t take long for him to get close, even as slowly as he’s going. You feel so good he can barely believe you’re real.

As if on cue, you bury the fingers of one hand in his curls. “I’m gonna cum, Corey,” you say, voice breathy.

“Yeah?” He grunts.

“Yeah,” you say. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.” You rock your hips under him, ruining his efforts to keep the pace from getting faster. He pulls his wrist from the hand that’s still holding it and weaves his fingers between yours as he matches your speed. You look at him with so much reverence it hurts. Then you squeeze your eyes closed and let out a high pitched mewl as you cum all over his cock. He loses himself, cumming with you, completing a few final thrusts as he empties his load deep in your pussy.

Out of breath and satisfied, he pulls out and lays down next to you. You roll onto your side to face him and kiss the tip of his nose. For once his thoughts are still and he feels completely content.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You spend a magnificently lazy Sunday with Corey. Your boyfriend. This has always been your favorite part of a relationship, the moment it finally becomes, but it’s never been this perfect before. He’s beautiful, he’s sweet, he’s smart, he’s strange, he’s made you cum so hard you saw stars three times in 12 hours. All of that is more than enough, more than you had ever dared ask for from a partner. But it isn’t everything. There’s something you struggle to put your finger on, a je ne sais quoi. Corey just… fits you, complements you, like you’re two halves of a matching set, reunited. Whatever was missing, whatever you’ve been searching for all this time, Corey has in spades.

That evening you’re laying on the couch with him. He’s leaning back against the armrest and you’re nestled between his legs, resting your face and hands on his stomach. Somehow you’ve both wound up shirtless. Beneath your cheek he makes an excellent pillow, thin but deliciously soft layer of fat insulating rock hard muscle underneath. The fuzzy trail of auburn hair leading from his belly button down into the waistband of his jeans tickles the skin on your chest. You’re so infatuated you feel drunk.

But when he gets up to go to the bathroom, leaving you alone for a moment, you sober abruptly. That tendency for infatuation is what gets you in trouble, and on some level you know that. If you hadn’t been so infatuated with Hurley to begin with, you never would’ve lingered in his life so long, trying to get it back. If you hadn’t been so infatuated with Orin, you would’ve realized that he’d been cheating practically since the beginning. Corey’s not like them, you trust that. But you don’t trust yourself. You like him so much you feel like you could drown in it and you desperately need a way to stay in control.

He comes out of the bathroom and goes to lay back down, but you stop him, leaving him to awkwardly perch on the edge of the couch.

“I’m so glad we made it official,” you say, taking his hands.

“Me too,” he says, breaking into a wide grin.

“And I’m really excited to see what the future holds,” you continue.

“So am I.” He squeezes your hands and scoots closer to you.

“But um…I don’t want to lose track of myself. I don’t think we should spend too much time together.” Corey’s eyebrows pinch. He opens his mouth and then closes it. “I just wanna like… I want us to keep our own lives, you know? I want to go out with my friends, and I want to have evenings where I just veg out on the couch, and I have my mending…”

“Okay…” He looks confused.

“Um… I want you here, I don’t want you to think I don’t, I do. I’m so excited to be your girlfriend. But I think we should agree to have like, three nights apart a week. Is that okay?”

“If that’s what you want.” Corey says. He chews his bottom lip. It kills you that this is obviously hurting him.

“It’s not you,” you say, rubbing his big knuckles with your thumbs. “It’s just… I’m cursed too.”

Monday morning you pull a mock neck top from your closet, but it doesn’t come up nearly high enough to hide everything. You’re late to work because of how much time it takes blending foundation over the purple splotches Corey covered you in, trying to get your neck and face to match.

Of course your ruse does not fool Veronica. When she gets there in the afternoon she notices right away. “Hello, foundation!” She says. “What are you trying to cover up under there?”

“Why do I have to be covering something up? Can’t I just want to wear more makeup some days than others?”

“No!” She laughs. “I’ve literally never seen you wear this much makeup in my life.”

Mondays are always slow, so the store is completely devoid of customers. Rose overhears the conversation and wanders over.

“Can you believe her?” You ask Rose, indicating Veronica.

“You really do look different today,” Rose says.

You sigh dramatically, but really you’re excited to show off. “Fine, I’ll show you.” You look out the window to make sure no customers are coming, then you stick three fingers in the collar of your shirt and pull it down. They both gasp and raise their eyebrows.

“Jesus Christ! Was he trying to devour you?” Veronica says.

“Something like that,” you reply. You can’t help but smile as you pat your collar back into place. “Isn’t that what boyfriends do?”

“Boyfriend!” Rose exclaims.

“We had the talk Saturday night.”

“That’s so exciting!” Rose trills. Veronica seems less stoked.

“What’s up with you, sourpuss? You were pushing me to take the next step.”

“Yeah,” Veronica says, “I said let him fuck you, not maul you.”

“Tomato, To-mah-to.” You shrug. They both laugh but Veronica’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

When you get home your apartment feels empty. You wish Corey was coming to hang out. You unlock your phone and pull up your text conversation with him, thumb hovering to type. It would be so easy to ask him to come over when he gets off work, you know he would say yes. But you were the one to ask for alone time, and it was a good instinct, no matter how badly you want to defy it. You stand in your bedroom door and toss your phone onto your bed. Out of sight, out of mind. Then you put a record on, cranking the volume, and sit down at the dining table in front of your sewing machine. You’ve got shit to do.

You hunch over a massively full skirt that needs to be taken up a couple inches, fucking with the way you fold the new hem until it lies flat and smooth, handing yourself pins from a bundle you hold between your teeth. You get halfway around before side A of the record ends. For side B you switch to reinforcing the inner thighs of a pair of pants that have started to wear thin. You do a task for the length of a side for several albums before you realize it’s dinner time and you’re starving.

There’s leftover pizza from last night. By some miracle not all of it had fallen into the bottomless pit of Corey’s stomach. He reminds you of a dog your parents rescued when you were a kid. Her previous owners had starved her, and she was weird about food for the rest of her life. He hasn’t gotten much larger, but Corey seems much denser now than when you first met him. Like he started made out of pine and now he’s solid oak.

God, do you wish he was here right now. While the pizza is in your toaster oven you go get your phone. Your most recent notification is a text from him from an hour ago.

It’s such a simple text but it floods your heart with affection.

After you reply to Corey, you scroll through your conversations until you find Veronica. You’re annoyed about how she reacted to the news that you’re in a relationship now. As the toaster oven timer dings you hit send.

You curl up on the couch with your pizza and a can of cider. Since she’s already skeptical you know you can’t tell her the real story. She won’t take kindly to his jealousy, or the fact that he showed up to surprise you and then left without saying anything.

Despite the angry expression, you know the emoji is her white flag. Sure enough another message comes through, and then another.

There’s the Veronica you expected.

#corey cunningham #my beloved #thank you again for what you bring with this story. the romance. the rage. the tragedy. the joy. the humour.#bonus highlights:#i love the bit of corey going hmm nothing can spoil this perfect moment of embrace. then reader immediately winces from a sore hickey.#him clearing his throat. chewing his lip. i love his nervous little mannerisms #*the smile*#corey: clean again

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