#…you furry little pig

[mitchythekiddoodles]

I was asked if Centuriyans (my big alien cat ocs) ever have issues with hairballs. So it led me to believe they do, but only under certain circumstances! (Lord help that boy)

[toomanycupsoftea]

"Mom, I have asked thrice for veggies now. Thrice." Snickers is not happy in her blanket fort without veggies!

[itsa-me-lily]

So I’m stuck on my military program spouse and this idea that you and Simon have gotten to the “we’re like roommates and kind of friends” stage of things and one day Simon overhears a group of guys from the same program talking to each other. Technically the program can’t make the spouses sleep together because that would be a teeeeeenty tiiiiiny bit illegal, since it’s technically paying for sexual acts. But some of the guys joke about how they essentially buy kisses and other…things from their spouses, a little extra pocket change for a little bit of sugar.

And maybe, just maybe, the idea intrigues Simon a little. Not the sliding slope of possible financial abuse. No that idea makes his skin crawl a bit. He knows you work and like having your own money. But he wouldn’t mind funneling a little something into your fun money account if he knew you’d let him. As for the sugar…if he spends parts of afternoon burning a hole into space thinking about what kissing you might be like well…that’s between him and god and not even the threat of million years of guinea pig wheeking could make him confess. (He’s grown to appreciate the furry little fuckers but Jesus do they get loud when they hear him open the fridge).

So cue Simon starting Operation Sugar. Too bad for you that step one isn’t you know, talking to you. No instead Simon decides that clearly the way to do this is through the pigs. Cue late night research into what goes into guinea pig care, random Chewy boxes that you didn’t order coming to the door all from an anonymous sender of course (you assume they’re from your mother, who does send gifts to her grandpiggies sometimes), and a week later a fridge surprisingly full to the brim of all the veggies the pigs like to demand for.

The last one is what gets your attention, looking for Simon, who’s in the living room, totally not looking online on his phone at some new cage set up that you want to get that would take up half the damn living room. When you ask about it he shrugs, pocketing his phone and mumbling something about how all of it was on sale when he went shopping. The smile and arm squeeze you gave him wasn’t the sugar he originally wanted, but the thank you that accompanied them made it all so much sweeter than he thought he deserved.

Edit;

I've made a playlist to keep track of all the random ideas for Simon I get for this

Here is the Masterlist

[auclairedetoru]

May I request Levi crushing on a stranger he saw in the coffeeshop? (Idk if you accept nsfw requests but if you do, with wet dream pls)

Hi first nonnie~ thank you so much for sending in a request! I'm not comfortable with writing detailed nsfw, but I'll try my best to deliver your vision 🤍

⭒๋࣭ ⭑. Content warning : mention of wet dreams so MDNI!!

“fuck...” Levi mumbles to himself after he wakes up from another... Strange dream, hands wiping the sweat from his face as he tried to catch his breath.

This is the second time this has happened in a week. He doesn't want to admit it out loud, but he's been having wet dreams and they all include the same person, a person Levi shouldn't be thinking about to begin with for one specific reason,

She's a stranger.

Now, he wasn't a pervert, and anyone who knows him wouldn't describe him as one either. Levi's life behind the bedroom doors has been practically nonexisting lately, too focused on his nine to five so he can provide a comfortable life for himself and that little furry brat he calls his cat. His days of meeting new people and building a relationship are left far behind him in his college years, and he honestly couldn't care less about it all anymore. So why are his dreams showing a completely different story?

The stranger in his dream, he didn't even know her name. He sees her every morning at his neighborhood's coffee shop that she started frequenting around a month ago. He would walk in and find her sitting on the sunny spot facing the window.

The first thing he noticed about her was her choice of beverage, a modest cup of green tea, not his first choice - as he prefers black tea - but a good one nonetheless. She paired it with a millefeuille with strawberries, the marble top of it being white and pink. She always has her off white cross body bag on the table, a keychain of a pink pig with bunny ears (he thinks it's a weird combination of animals, but he admits that it's cute) hanging from it. He remembers exactly what he felt when he saw her face for the first time. She had a soft smile as she read something in her magazine, her cheeks covered in a blush that he believes is makeup, the shade suiting her tone perfectly, her nose scrunched as she took a bite off of her millefeuille, a hand delicately cupped under her chin to catch the crumbs. Levi felt his heart fluttering at the simple sight of her, which he tried his best to control but it ignored his deep breaths and continued its dance.

Why was she in his dreams? And that specific type of dreams as well? He never had them in his life, let alone with a total stranger! Levi was confused, drenched in sweat, and in need of a cold shower.

As he got ready for the day, his thoughts couldn't stop drifting towards the coffee shop stranger, so he let himself indulge in them for once. He thinks she's very pretty, gorgeous even. He thinks her voice might be as sweet as her smile, and he thinks her favourite colour would be pink, given that it's what she wore most. He wonders what her music taste would be, she gives off the vibes of someone who listens to Laufey, and he likes that thought, he hopes he's right about that because he enjoys Laufey too.

Is this what having a crush feels like? Based on the books he read, movies he watched and people's experiences he's been told about, everything adds up. The nerves at the thought of talking to her, his fluttering heart, the dream... It all made sense.

Levi has a crush on a stranger.

He wants to be wrong, he wants his heart and mind to be confused and got things mixed up. He could ask his therapist about it, but he knew himself well, he just didn't want to admit it. Still, he mastered the courage on his way to the coffee shop, hoping he wasn't too early and she'd already be there like always.

Levi decides he's going to approach her today, ask if he can take the seat across from her and start a conversation with her. He has always been told he's very well spoken and that conversations with him flow easily, he hopes he'd be able to do that when talking to her without his voice shaking.

Luck must be on his side, because when he opens the door and his eyes land on her usual spot, she is there, reading a magazine like always. He takes a deep breath and walks up to the barista telling him his usual order, but to not put it in a to-go cup. After the barista smiles at him and tells him his order would be ready shortly, he turns towards the fascinating stranger, and without allowing another thought to cross his mind, he walks towards her.

“is this seat taken ?”

Levi gives himself a mental pat on the back, he didn't stutter like he was afraid he'd do.

“not at all, you can have it.”

Shit, her voice isn't like he was expecting it to be, it's way better. It sounded smooth like butter gliding on fresh croissant, silky like the bed sheets his mother gave him as a house warming gift, soft like the way his cat's fur feels after a bath. His heart is about to beat out his chest and his hands are starting to get clammy with nerves but he's still playing it cool with his posture and his nonchalant way of speaking.

His lips are about to part and speak to her, but she beat him to it.

“I noticed you come here every day at the same time, and you always order the same thing.”

She noticed him!? And knew his order!? This is the last thing he expected to hear from her, in fact, he didn't expect her to talk to him at all, he thought he'd have to start the conversation!

“yeah, I used to make my own tea before I discovered this place, couldn't find the blend they use anywhere, apparently the owner makes it from scratch with his own leaves.”

She raises an eyebrow at that, clearly intrigued.

“I enjoy their green tea, certainly better than the ones at the grocery store. I wonder if their chamomile tea is just as good.”

Now it's Levi's turn to raise his eyebrow.

“Don't tell me you buy all your tea from the grocery store.”

“only chamomile! I drink my tea here now,” she defends herself, her pretty smile still on her face, “I don't know where else to buy it from, I'm new to town.”

“Perfect.” Levi thinks to himself. This can't get any better for him.

He casually grabs the cup of tea the barista placed in front of him a moment ago. His eyes still locked with hers despite feeling like he's about to pass out from nerves and excitement.

“how about you meet me here tomorrow? We can have our breakfast and I'll take you to my tea dealer, everything I can't get here I get from her, she's the best.”

The sweet angel in front of him giggles and he nearly melts in his seat. If only he can take that heavenly sound with him so he'd listen to it every chance he gets. It's better than any song he ever heard.

“how would I know this isn't your plan for killing me? You're a stranger after all.”

He places his cup back down after taking a sip.

“my name is Levi, Levi Ackerman. You are?”

“y/n y/l/n. It's nice to finally meet you, Levi.”

He feels like he's about to explode. He knows her name now, and it matches her so incredibly well. And the way she said his name? He never thought it would sound so beautiful until now.

“if you agree to come with me tomorrow, I'll let you search me before we go and I'll have my location turned on the whole time. Promise I won't try anything to hurt you.”

She looks down bashfully before nodding, agreeing to go with him wherever he is planning on taking her.

Levi discreetly sighs in relief seeing her agree. God, he couldn't even imagine hurting her, she's too delicate, too precious, he only wants to hold her close and hear her sweet giggles. To protect her from anything that could hurt her, whether it's big or small.

“now tell me, does Laufey happen to be your favourite artist?”

“how did you know!?”

A hint of a smile pulls at Levi's lips. He'll do anything to make her a part of his life and to keep her there forever.

[teaboot]

If you could pick 2 to 5 current animals to make a hybrid, what would you pick?

I would do platypus for most of the body, raven for wings and intelligence, peacock for coloring, and pigs for the noises because pig snorts make me laugh.

Asks are supposed to be fun, if you don't want to answer or take a while to answer that is perfectly fine. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I have been thinking about this ALL DAY

My ideal animal to play God at making would HAVE TO BE:

Soft. Ideally pettable. Furry, but not like. Bristly or oily

Not stinky. Dogs always smell like foot, I'm sorry

Affectionate, but not clingy

Character-ful. Imperfect. TOO cute or sweet and we get into uncomfortable uncanny Valley territory.

Self-sufficient. Will it survive in it's natural habitat? Can it protect itself from stupid people? Needs some form of self-defense.

NOW, given these criteria I have chosen THESE CREACHURS :

MOLE

Mole fur sticks directly up from its body to minimize friction when digging forwards OR backwards. With the fur of the mole, THIS CREACHUR is PETTABLE IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

2. CRESTED AUKLET

For some godforsaken reason, the crested anklet is a bird which releases the smell of SWEET TANGERINES, a scent which I am personally fond of. THIS CREACHUR smells DELIGHTFUL.

3. DOMESTIC CAT

THIS CREACHUR is AFFECTIONATE TOWARDS HUMANS, but not so much that it's constantly trying to crawl up your ass. IDEAL SOCIAL COMPANION

4. SILKY ANTEATER

The silky anteater, like the platypus, is a SLIGHTLY FUCKED LITTLE GUY. Look at him. He's adorable, but not saccharine. He's approachable. Believable. Somewhat muppet-like. A real down-to-earth guy. An everyman sort of freak. A friend.

5. EMPEROR SCORPION

One of the more chill scorpions, the Emperor Scorpion is MILDLY VENOMOUS. By which I mean, like. Bee sting-level. You probably won't let your toddler goof around with one, but you could still feasibly keep one as a pet. THIS CREACHUR is SECURE

TO CONCLUDE:

We are looking at an affectionate, roughly kitten-sized animal with a cat's temperament and the fur of a mole, which smells of citrus fruits, is shaped like a silky anteater, and is able to deliver a first-painful, then mostly-just-itchy sting when threatened. Artist's render pending

[wtfdemother]

Slasher AU Hewitt!König biggest sweetheart imo. NSFW below, happy Kinkvember day 13 ☃️🤝

post dividers by tsunami-of-tears

CW: boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, lotta booobs. Man I make the baddest bitches send me nuuudes/lyr. Anwyay, König’s got an oral fixation that needs attention.

Hewitt!König X Wife!Reader

Hewitt!König who trails behind you that morning on your way to the barn. Luda Mae needed eggs for breakfast and you were more than happy to oblige, thinking nothing of the nervous fidgeting coming from the hulking man who sulked at your side. It was funny, really, sometimes you’d peer out the corner of your eye to catch a glimpse of him, trying hard to ignore you while he was hard at work. You were no fool, you knew behind those bushy, furrowed brows he was dying to be in the place of that three month old calf you coddled, or the one being nuzzled and grabbed instead of the big, squishy nose of a horse.

Hewitt!König who wanted the same amount of attention you gave the chickens and other farm animals on that damn ranch, you’re the whole reason he got his family to raise more than just chickens and pigs! If he’d knew those furry creatures would steal your attention, he wouldn’t have gotten them. Now, he’s paying the price, big time. He hates and loves himself for it, there hid no ill intentions towards your little animals, how they brought light to your face was more than enough to soothe his heart. He learned to share but decided that enough with the chores the minute you spilled a pail of water on yourself.

Hewitt!König who drops whatever it was he was doing, his concentration fizzling out in an instant. His mind is full of you. He steps over the object now lying in the mud, two meaty paws come to grab you tight by the waist, hoisting you up like a bag of flour. “König! We don’t have time for this—” He throws you onto a stack of hay, grunting a mumbled response behind the leather mask to silence your sass. To him you were giving him sass, but you just wanted to change out of this wet shirt. To which he obliged happily, helping you toss that shirt to the ground.

Hewitt!König who ignores your weakly said protests as he kisses his way up your stomach to your throat, giving the delicate skin a small nip before descending lower to your collarbone. From there his kisses get hotter, breathier, marred flesh pressed the kindest of kisses on your skin, your head fell back and you let him do whatever. A deep rumble of approval reaches your ears, making your panties slick from the timbre sound alone. He stills you when you squirm, his breath hot on your peak. Gingerly he licks at the bud, eyelids flutter shut as he groans from the taste of your warmth on his tongue. He swore he could fall asleep suckling at your nipple, but the strain in his pants proves too much to simply ignore. He palms your unoccupied breast with a large hand, for such calloused fingertips they worked most benevolently.

Hewitt!König who closed the entire world off when he was with you, too busy pouring his attention on the firm peak in the warmth of his mouth, gathering as much spit as he could around your nipple as he swirled his tongue and sucked with fervour. You dig your fingers deep in his hair, trying to pull him off but that mountain of a man wouldn’t budge so long as he had a mouthful of your tit. He lets go with a resounding pop!, his lips glistening with spit and his breath short. He doesn’t give you a moment of reprieve, diving in again to latch onto your other nipple. No, he hasn’t forgotten about it, kleine lamm.

Hewitt!König who traps your growing bud between his teeth, giving it a little tug before taking it fully in his mouth. He’s growing demanding, wanting more of you to satisfy that gnawing urge. Growling feral sounds occupy the air, you swore you had an animal on top of you as he tore into the fat of your bosom, leaving small dents the shape of his teeth all around the ample flesh spread beneath him like dough. What a sight, he huffs fondly, dipping down once more to kiss the space between your breasts.

Hewitt!König who only pulls away once he’s done slobbering all over your chest, grinning at the bite marks on your tender flesh and the tears brimming your eyes. He kisses you apologetically, but that doesn’t stop your tits from being sore. He gets that much from the frown on your face, carefully he ducks back to press the softest of kisses on the blues and purples blooming over your skin. Again and again, you can barely hear him moving above but you can feel his lips pressing reverently to each and every bruise. What a sight for sore eyes, he thought.

Hewitt!König who speaks only for you, despite the discomfort. “Tut mir leid, Schatz…” he grumbles, voice hoarse from years of misuse. He doesn’t really need it, mostly just communicates with a series of curt head nods and grunts. But with you? He liked seeing you shine with delight every time he spoke. He leans into your touch as a hand slides down his cheek from the top of his head, his hair a little disheveled from your tight grab. “S’okay, big guy…” you say in a whisper, running a thumb over his scarred face. Beautiful, genuine features you thought, nobody felt so deeply like you did for each other. “I was a little rough too…”

He was too shy to finish y’alls business in the barn, so he quickly carried you home. Later on, sometime in the early evening he brought lunch over to your bed on account of your legs being out of commission, curtesy of König and your shared needs.

[secretmellowblog]

Inspector Javert is canonically a furry (not joking, not clickbait)

Inspector Javert from Les Miserables is canonically a furry and I’m not joking even a little. His fursona is extremely symbolically important, and you need to understand it to understand the book. I’m serious, let me explain. (You can also view this post in Video Essay format at this link.)

In the novel, Javert is always compared to a dog– but specifically, a dog who is the son of wolves. I’ll explain why in a minute. But the important thing is that Victor Hugo emphasizes this dog metaphor literally every time Javert is on page. I can’t overstate how much Hugo compares Javert to a dog at literally every single opportunity.  It’s the first thing we learn about him when he’s introduced;

he’s described as looking like a dog:

other characters compare him to a dog,

there are chapter-long extended metaphors comparing the way Javert hunts criminals to the way hunting dogs pursue their prey. 

His sideburns are described as whiskers, his hands are described as claws, he’s always barking, snarling, and growling. Any time Hugo sees an opportunity to compare Javert to a dog, or to have Javert act dog-like:  he takes it. Javert:

But like…why?

Let’s look at Javert’s first appearance in the novel. So when Victor Hugo first introduces Javert in Volume 1, he’s literally like “so this guy name was Javert and– wait, back up, I need to explain the concept of fursonas.”

Then Hugo interrupts Javert’s introduction with a multi-paragraph digression about how everyone has an animal that symbolizes their soul. And that animal is unique for each person. Sometimes people just are an anthropomorphic animal.

It is our conviction that if souls were visible to the eyes, we should be able to see distinctly that strange thing that each one individual of the human race corresponds to some one of the species of the animal creation; and we could easily recognize this truth, hardly perceived by the thinker, that from the oyster to the eagle, from the pig to the tiger, all animals exist in man, and that each one of them is in a man. (...)

And he goes on for a while, but if you know what a furry is, you already understand what he’s getting at. After explaining furries, Hugo goes on to explain Javert’s symbolically important fursona. Quote: 

“Now, if the reader will admit, for a moment, with us, that in every man there is one of the animal species of creation, it will be easy for us to say what there was in Police Officer Javert.

The peasants of Asturias are convinced that in every litter of wolves there is one dog, which is killed by the mother because, otherwise, as he grew up, he would devour the other little ones. Give to this dog-son of a wolf a human face, and the result will be Javert.”

So Javert is a dog who is the son of wolves. He is a wolf that has become domesticated– and is now a hunting dog, serving humans, devouring his wild wolf siblings. (That’s an edgy emo DeviantArt sparkledog backstory if I’ve ever heard one.)

But what does that symbolic backstory mean? It means that Javert is what the kids call “a class traitor.” 

In the next part of his introduction, Hugo elaborates that Javert was born inside of a jail, the son of an imprisoned mother and a galley slave father. He was born into the same traumatizing poverty, stigma, and intense criminalization as characters like Jean Valjean. In fact, Jean Valjean himself is often compared to a “wolf”-- because in the novel, wolves are often used to symbolize criminals, outcasts, and the people who society oppresses and treats like monsters.

 But unlike Jean Valjean, Javert turns his back on his ‘wolf siblings.” He turns his back on people from his class. He domesticates himself– by becoming a lowranking police officer, and enforcing the same system that imprisoned his family and destroyed his life.

 He rigorously defends a hierarchy that he is at the bottom of. He serves an authority that views him as subhuman, like a dog defending its masters. Society will never treat him as an equal, and Javert knows this–-  but society tolerates him because he is useful, because he hunts down the wolves. Javert would arrest his entire family to please authority, and he would do it with no other feeling except for the pleasure of obedience. He’s a dog, happy to devour his criminal wolf siblings.

And the reason Victor Hugo goes so overboard with the canine imagery is to emphasize how much the metaphor is the key to his entire character and how he interacts with other people from his own class.

And recognizing that metaphor really deepens your understanding of the novel. For example, it’s one of the many ways that Javert parallels Eponine– another character who describes herself as a dog from a family of wolves.

The dog imagery also has layers of meaning that change over time.  For example:  in the original book, Javert is not obsessed with Jean Valjean. The idea that “Javert makes it his life goal to catch Jean Valjean and spends all his time pursuing him out a personal revenge quest” is actually something that adaptations invented– largely as a way to avoid engaging with Victor Hugo’s systemic  criticisms of the police. [rant redacted.] In the original book, Javert follows up on Jean Valjean whenever he coincidentally happens to pick up his scent– and yes it’s described that way, as picking up his scent, because he’s a dog. Otherwise Jean Valjean isn’t really a person to him, he’s just an extremely difficult piece of prey. There's nuance, there are things that specifically stick out to him and frustrate him in a unique way, mainly the way that Jean Valjean is able to camouflage himself so well as a bourgeois. But overall-- no, he's not making a Sacred Promise to dedicate his life to finding him. Quote:

But after Jean Valjean saves his life, that changes. Javert suddenly develops deep intense wildly overcomplicated emotions for him, emotions that are described using the metaphors of dogs and wolves. The scene after they reunite, when Javert lets Jean Valjean go, is described like this:

 “He felt something between a wolf that has found its prey and a dog that has found its master again.” (...)  “To be the watch-dog, and to lick the intruder's hand!” (....) “He was tempted to fling himself upon Jean Valjean, seize him, and devour him– that is, to say, arrest him.”

{insert vore joke.] In a previous chapter he boasted about how his hands were claws:

In this chapter, he views his clawed hands with disgust and self-loathing.

But here’s the thing: it’s more than just a symbolic metaphor in the narration. The characters in the novel often seem to be aware that Javert is a dog. Like, Jean Valjean has that whole inner monologue about how Javert is quote a  “frightful hunting dog.” Javert describes his own hands as claws and thinks about himself in dog metaphors. When he’s being executed at the barricades, the rebels tie a rope around his neck to use as a leash. There's a bit where Javert's eyes are described as having "the feline phosphoresence of birds of the night," as if he literally has tapeta lucidum.  Javert also canonically wears a leather collar with a buckle— which I don’t think is supposed to be related to the dog thing, but it FEELS related. And I’m gonna be honest: I don’t know what to do with that. But Ao3 does. 

And in a very different way: so does Takahiro Arai, the creator of a recent Les Mis manga adaptation. Arai draws Javert’s soul as a massive frightening wolfdog, that emerges to symbolize his emotional state in critical parts of the story. And it shows how understanding the deeper meaning of this imagery leads to a more complete understanding of Javert’s character.

Thank you for reading! I feel like Javert being a furry is a Known Thing on Tumblr, but it’s gotten to the point where everybody takes it for granted. And so: a post was necessary, to archive the lore.

[But if you want even more furry Javert content, I recommend joining the @lesmisletters readalong! Les Mis has 365 chapters, and this email subscription sends you one chapter a day for a year. We also have a discord server linked in the pinned post on our tumblr blog! It’s never too late to join. ]

[quitealotofsodapop]

That would happen if... in Peach Soup, the Meng Po Soup did more than just erase the memory? After all, it is menat to help with the reincarnation process by reverting a soul back to its blank self... what it interacts weirdly with Wukong, and instead of finding a full-grown but still young enough to be a possible teen or early twenties monkey with no memory cradling a newborn... Pigsy found an actual toddler with a newborn?

Ooooo...

Wukong struggles and chirps as his memories flutter away to the Underworld (Scroll of Memory gotta store past life data somewhere), too focused on the crying infant before him to notice that his own hands are getting smaller and smaller...

Pigsy just slams on the breaks when he sees two tiny furry lumps on the side of the road. His brain tries to assure him; its just cats, maybe a dog, maybe just a fur coat.

He finds a terrified toddler monkey carrying a newborn barely smaller than itself.

Can wild macaques be ginger? He's pretty sure they can but - oh no wait, it's wearing ragged clothes too big for it. It's two lost demon babies. This has "trouble" written all over it.

Pigsy scoops up the two screeching/chirping cubs in their red blanket-thing and just books it home. He's not even thinking. He needs to call someone. Pick up infant formula (wait, do demon monkeys have that?) and diapers for babies with long tails.

The ginger toddler is combative at first, but quickly calms down when presented with some cut-up fruit - cautiously sniffing the contents before quickly consuming their weight in peach slices. There's odd marks on the cub's skin; not only a heart-shaped face mask, but also odd ring around their skull. Pigsy honestly can't tell if its a birthmark or a scar.

It takes a while for the toddler to trust Pigsy enough to relinquish the newborn so that the pig can feed them a bottle. But considering what they might have just went through, it's understandable.

The newborn is tiny. Covered in dark brown fuzz caked with clay mud.

After both cubs are fed, they get a lukewarm sink bath. The toddler panics when Pigsy tries to lower him into the water, so he's cleaned with a damp towel instead. Pigsy's heart breaks to think what must have happened to make the cub terrified of a little warm water.

Tang rushes over moments after Pigsy sends him a rambling, worried message. His "aww" at the pair of infants is only broken by the thought of "Wait, where did they come from?"

Pigsy and Tang hash out theories, each with a cub clinging to their chests.

Their leading theory is abandonment. Perhaps a poor demon family couldn't cope with the burden of two young children, and chose to dump them on the side of the road. A darker theory is that they lost their parent(s) very recently. Perhaps in a violent manner. This convinces the pair to contact the local authorities...

The cubs have no matches in the genetic database, not even amongst the colony of monkey demons outside the city limits. The village elders insist that there hasn't been any recent disappearances or transisients to explain the cubs existance.

The decision to keep both cubs was pretty easy. Peaches and MK (Tang: "Piggy! You can't name them that! How about Taozi and Xiaotian?") would literally scream if parted for too long. And they very quickly gained an attachment to the cook and scholar.

During the adoption process, a lawyer with fiery red hair and a celestial manner gives them their card in case of further legal help. What sort of name is Fire Star?

Peaches and MK have as normal a childhood as the two men can provide.

Peaches is a brilliant little boy who dreams of healing people with medicine. It's a passion sparked by listening to Dadsy explain all of his grandmother's home remedies and how just a bowl of the best noodle soup on earth can cure almost anything ailing little monkeys.

MK grows up idolizing his big brother. Very rarely do you see Peaches without a little brown fluff trailing behind him. He's an energetic and artful soul, drawing up an official logo for the restaurant when he was barely able to walk. And is absolutely as obsessed with the Monkey King as much as his dear Papa Tang.

Of course there are speed-bumps along the way. The older cub's strength increases dramatically as he gets older, necessitating help from an estranged friend to help him control it. MK has issues making friends as a child until he met a protective dragon pup as hyper as he was.

In the modern day, Pigsy and Tang are proud to have raised two fine young boys. Even if fate seemed to have dropped them in their lap, they wouldn't change a thing.

Peaches, bursting through the door holding a red-gold staff: "DADS I THINK I MESSED UP!!!"

Ok, maybe they'd change the fact that Peaches is apparently a de-aged Sun Wukong with no memory of his previous 2000 years of life.

+

This is a super cute idea for the peach soup au. I can imagine this change only makes the Noodle Family even more defensive of Peaches once Macaque is revived. 2000+ years old or not! He's their baby boy!

[brainrotbabe24]

Thorins company and a reader who travels with pets?? Birds, bats, lizards, SNAKES, CATS, TIGERS???

Hi!! Okay, so I immediately thought of them with a tiger and based this on that idea lol! Idk just the idea of the dwarves interacting with a giant tiger is so funny to me lol! 😂💖 Thank you!!

Balin: Balin isn't particularly interested in animals. He might give your pet the occasional scratch or pat on the head, but besides that, he doesn't pay much attention to them. But what would be the cutest is if he falls asleep next to the furry creature, and they end up snuggling. It's rare but very cute! 

Dwalin: Dwalin has a soft spot for animals. When no one is looking, he will baby-talk your big cat in the cutest voice, showering them with praise and love. You might catch him saying, "Oh, what a good boy!💖You killed those orcs perfectly. Who is the cutest ever!" 

Óin: Oin would be interested in observing your pet like a scientist. He would ask you questions, take samples, and even offer to clean its teeth or give it a bath. He wants to learn more about how a wild animal acts so docile. 

Glóin: Gloin is unsure, perhaps cautious. He isn't used to wild animals being pets and would be wary that it would kill the group as soon as it had the chance. He would keep himself far away and make sure his weapons were ready at any moment. 

Bifur: He would give your tiger so many kisses! He's the type who would let the pet lick his face and wouldn't mind if it got a little too close for comfort. Bifur just can't get enough of them!

Bofur: Bofur would come up with nicknames for your pet. It would be a running joke that he greets you and your pet with new, crazy, incredibly long, and ridiculous names. "Morning y/n! Morning Mr.Fluffy sparkle butt!" 

Bombur: Bombur would be terrified! It's such a large creature compared to dwarves, so he would be scared of being eaten. You would make him faint if you cleaned the tiger's teeth and were basically crawling in its mouth to get to the molars.

Ori: Ori would be very curious about your pet! He's never seen a wild animal be so tame and trained. He'd bombard you with questions and would eagerly ask Dori and Nori if they could adopt one, too.

Dori: Like Balin, Dori is indifferent. If the animal showed interest in him, he would acknowledge it but wouldn't go out of his way to play with the tiger. I feel like he would be allergic, too, lol 

Nori: Nori would try to teach your tiger tricks. He would try to teach them to give him a paw and roll over. He'd take pride in getting the animal to obey his commands. I could also see Nori praising it even when it was misbehaving..he loves the naughtiness. 

Thorin: Thorin respects your skills in training a wild animal. He finds it impressive and valuable to the company. He might not say it openly, but he is more at ease with you and your pet tiger. You also remind him of Dáin with his war pigs! 

Kíli: Kili would adore your tiger He would constantly give it snuggles and scratches, quickly becoming the animal's favorite due to his affection. You could not separate the two!!! They would do everything together, even sleep in a dog pile, lol! 

Fíli: Like Kili, Fili would love the animal. There is an instant bond between the two; your pet might listen to him more than you lol! Fili would also sneak treats over to it every night. 

Bilbo: Bilbo would be nervous around your tiger. He would be super anxious around it and would stand far away. You'd have to coax him to come closer so you could introduce him to your pet. For example, if you asked him to feed it, he would hold the food out at arm's length, hoping the animal wouldn't eat his arm. 

Gandalf: Gandalf is well acquainted with wild animals. Animals gravitate towards him, so your pet would love him. He gives off the vibe of a Steve Irwin. He is friends with moths, eagles, and many other creatures in Middle Earth.

[cinellieroll]

☆ random obey me headcanons part 4!

satan and diavolo ♡

part one (lucifer, mammon and simeon)

part two (asmodeus, levi and barbatos)

part three (beelzebub, belphegor and solomon)

small note: last part is here wooh! i apologize i wasn't able to add the others. i just didn't know what to put for theirs bc im big idiot. i might make some of them soon tho! i'll probably make aot headcanons next but there will be delays bc exams are next week 😔 i'll also plan on putting more characters in one post next time so stay tuned!

☆ satan:

- likes friv.com, y8 games and papa games.

- picked up the habit of meowing out of nowhere when he's bored or enters his room. only does it when he's alone ofcourse because no way he'll let others see him like this. (everyone knows he does it they just don't say anything)

- he really liked enola holmes and other movies where it has detectives. it just riles him up more and more and wishes a hard ass case will just appear in the devildom already so he'll be first in the scene.

- don't get me started on how many times this man has tripped on his pile of books. he never really learned his lesson and just kept the books on the floor because he enjoys watching cats step on each one

- watches mat pat theories with you and levi. that's when he genuinely started gaining interest in games and sometimes fear he'll end up like levi one day.

- before he was able to manage his anger, he used to pull on his hair really hard. he'd have bald spots for years. thankfully he takes care of it now and it's perfectly luscious and soft.

- gets pissed when he sees people leaving pens uncapped like this is a waste of ink

- also gets pissed when his brothers leave the bathroom door open. he'll use his sleeve to cover his hand and close the door like a clean freak (i do the same thing)

- snores really loud when he sleeps on the couch. yes, the couch not his own bed. the couch.

☆ diavolo:

- he finds pleasure in buying a lot of unnecessary stuff. never learns from his lesson and just kept buying little trinkets and giving silly excuses for it.

- "but barbatos! doesn't this pig just look so cute on my office table? look! i even bought 300 packs of those tea leaves you ordered last time! isn't that great :D?"

- "my lord those tea leaves cost 100k grimm each-"

- he loves to spoil people so much it's so insane. you mentioned you like tanghulus? he ordered barbatos to make 20 of them. oh you really liked that furry coat made by a famous designer? he just bought you 5 pairs of it in different colors. your welcome.

- he likes onesies

- takes really long showers as well. he recently caught up to this thing called an "everything shower" and got invested. now he can't go on with his day without using body washes, oils and cleansers. a demon prince always has to be fresh and well maintained.

- he's always very excited to see you so when he rushes for a hug it's required to pick you up. who cares if he gets scolded by barbatos or receives a glare from belphie? you enjoy it and so does he!

- beautiful thick thighs and ass cheeks it makes me go what the fuck papi chulo

- enjoys the idea of cosplaying. doesn't care what he wears as long as gets to go out and dress up as a character. a dinosaur? sure! princess diavolo?! say less!

another note: we just reached 30 fucking followers hello??1!1(1?@? thank you so much !!! (⁠●⁠♡⁠∀⁠♡⁠)

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Suddenly I’m a sheep baa

You have such a way with words!!! I love the image of konig sitting down, cooing at his flock, while reader stands to the side, watching… does he even know? Does he know the effect he has on you? Would he even care, if he knew that you’re completely ruined over watching him work… (would he treat you the same, one hand gripping your legs and hands out of his way, tucked up against his chest as his other hand wanders down your chest and against your cunt,,,)

Ahem

Baa.

Baa!!! YEAH I can see it happening in bed as soon as he gets his freak on. It's purely subconscious too! But then I was also thinking how König must be a total softie with all animals... Treating everyone gently and lovingly while reader is pouting & looking from the sidewalks like a third wheel :( Time to pull out the big guns!

CW: Pet play (attempted), dom/sub undertones (implied)

You see him feeding apples to horses, watch how they burrow their muzzles under his arm, he’s always gentle with each and every individual as long as they’re animal and not human... Even the old farm cat gets more love and attention than you :(

He nearly trips on it one morning because it’s purring and meowing at his feet – if a human were to do that they would get slurs and yelling and spit landing on their face... This furry little beast only earns a soft rumble and a low, affectionate “You naughty little devil,” as thanks for showing this bitter cruel man some love.

You even see him pet the cat absentmindedly when he’s doing some paperwork in his office, the loud purrs of the animal making you absurdly jealous. Hearing the roaring content of this cat as a broad, sturdy hand softly pets it from head to tail stirs emotions in you that are wildly inappropriate. You would kill to get this man to pet you, these animals don’t even know how lucky they are...

And maybe he doesn’t even know what he’s missing, seeing only men and animals here at the farm. The only woman, namely, you, is always walking around in rubber boots and dirty oversized overalls. He avoids you like the plague, and treats you more harshly than the young rascals sent here by the state... Men are visual creatures, so perhaps it’s no wonder that he takes no interest in you, some weak miss farmhand who always looks like she came from feeding the pigs... Which is your job here, actually, because König never allows you near his precious horses, let alone the delicate sheep.

So one day, you sneak inside his office and climb on his desk in nothing but your black sheen underwear, now with the addition of a black cat’s tail attached to the bum, with your make up done and wearing a pair of cute little cat ears. This must be the silliest thing I’ve ever done, you think as you push your tits invitingly together while propping yourself on the table like a spoiled house cat would, with your “paws” prettily together and your butt ready to lift from some good petting you fervently wish you’re about to get.

Heavy boots echo in the hall like doom just as you start to shiver from cold. Your heart nearly shoots out of your chest and your tits threaten to spill out of your too small bra, your rival is nowhere to be seen and all the sheep have been sheared so you hope you’ll finally spark this man’s interest in some intimate fun with an actual woman...

He walks in, comes to an instant halt on the door when he sees you, and from the looks of it, the poor man suffers a silent heart attack from seeing a half naked woman on his desk. He freezes right there on the spot, draws air so sharply you can hear it all the way to where you're sitting – all over his papers, innocently like a naughty feline would.

He looks both shocked and furious, but not a word of warning comes out – and how could he be mad at a pretty little thing like you? Donning your silly outfit consisting of black underwear, black cat tail and black cat ears, you even drew yourself some thin whiskers with your black eyeliner...

Your eyes are shy but accusing, they simply ask, why haven't you paid attention to me? Why haven't you played with me, turned me around in your lap any way you like? Where are the soft gazes and shushed praises that belong to me?

And while you were invisible to this man before, you now have his full attention.

His eyes fly to your tits first, then to your tail, they caress the dip and swell of your waist, rise to adore your rib cage and the fluttering pulse at the hollow of your throat, they steal a peek at your cute little ears... There's an endearing flash on softness in his eyes, and when he meets your stare again, he swallows so arduously that the sound of it is audible and thick. A chill runs down your spine as you realize this might not only be the first time in a while that he's seen a half naked woman... This might be the first time he's seen a half naked woman ever.

You give him your most demure gaze, bat your lashes slowly like cats tend to do when they see someone they appreciate and trust, and whisper:

“...Meow?”

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Happy Tails AU - König Learns About Warriors

This is just more fluff about König being a bit of a dumb creep (not intentionally) and falling in love with a new animal. He is enraptured by the furry noodles.

Story below cut. SFW

König sat in the pen with the therapist. Seeing as nobody wanted to be too close to König, and everyone was excited by the rabbits and guinea pigs, nobody wanted to join König in the 'other' pen. The therapist in the pen was a bit miffed, seeing as this was 'group therapy', but they'd made do.

Without all the issues of dealing with other people, and with a plate full of food, König was delighted. Maybe Dr. Reed was right about this program. He liked this therapist, even if they were a bit ignorant about the military, and the animal handler present was... Cute. Very cute.

When he wasn't intently focused on the therapist (and nearly scaring them with his intensity), he was glancing between you and the strange noodle animal in your hands.

You told him you'd wait until the break to introduce him to the animal. It was flopped in your arms with its eyes closed. It looked like a worm on a string, but more defined. He didn't understand anything about its anatomy. When does the head end and the neck begin? Why does it have such a fat butt? It looked like a stretched out cone with a pipe cleaner taped on the back. All in all, it looked very pettable.

When the break started, you approached the giant man carefully. You didn't know this man, but despite how scary he seemed when he first came in, it seemed that he was just inhumanly awkward. He kept looking at you and glancing at your ferret, and then back at you before fixing his steely glare back on the therapist.

For privacy reasons, you didn't really listen in, just focusing on stroking Atlas's fluffy sable fur. He was probably your calmest ferret, making him eligible for the program. You'd had him for a couple of years now, and he'd been nothing but sweet and loving.

Approaching the big man, you couldn't help but feel the intensity of his glare on you. There was something strange and off putting about this man. The closer you got to him, the stiffer and more uncertain he became. You felt like you were approaching a wild animal when you knelt on the floor in front of him.

"So, uh, this is Atlas," you held out the ferret, "have you ever held a ferret before?"

The man finally tore his eyes away from yours to look at the animal in your hands, then shook his head.

"Okay, well, you can hold him by supporting the chest like this and holding a hand under his butt, like this."

König held out his hands nervously and took the animal from you with slightly shaking hands.

Once you were able to bring your hands back, Atlas slowly opened his beady black eyes.

"So, you've never met a ferret before?" you asked, "at all?"

König shook his head again, adjusting himself to a cross-legged position to put the slowly waking ferret in his lap. He delicately stroked the animal's fur with two fingers. The ferret sniffed, then closed its eyes again. Not a minute later, and the little animal was snoring in his arms.

"Atlas isn't like most ferrets," you told him, "Atlas is super chill. He's the calmest ferret I've ever met in my life."

"He is..." König paused briefly, "nice."

"He's a pain in the butt sometimes," you snort, "he always splashes his water when he drinks it."

"He is very soft," König murmured.

"I brush the ferrets every day," you crowed, "I've been keeping ferrets for years. In fact, all the ferrets on the floor are my own pets."

"So you don't adopt out ferrets?" König asked curiously.

"Not the ones we have, no," you explained, "but it looks like Atlas has taken a liking to ya. Maybe you should come around more often."

König looked down at the ferret in his lap. You couldn't tell, but a soft smile spread across his face.

"Maybe I should."

[elfdragon12]

It's unfortunate that some vegans who are morally against meat will, instead of either foregoing pets or choosing an herbivore, choose a carnivore and force an unnatural diet it cannot properly digest, process, or receive the proper nutrients from.

Because, I mean, have you seen guinea pigs?

They're wonderful and vocal companions who can be very affectionate and social, plus they live about 6-8 years. Also? Obligate herbivores (minus occasional cannibalism if things go wrong after a mother gives birth, usually malnourishment). As long as you are patient in getting them used to your presence and touch, they are wonderful little cuddle companions. They snuggle, they purr, and they'll even give you little licks.

They come in all sorts of colors with different patterns and fur styles. These are all either pigs I've had or my sister's family had:

The 1st two are Romeo and Oreo/Double-stuffed (my sister's), 2nd two are Pepperjack and Kolya, and the 3rd two are Baron von Fluffy and Mitya. These are mostly the common American Short-haired guinea pigs, but, Baron was probably a "sheba mini yak" and Mitya was possibly a cross between an Abyssinian and a mini yak? His butt fur got a little long for just being an Abyssinian. For 3lbs furry potatoes, there's so much fur variety!

Yes, their enclosures require frequent cleaning and you should always have at least two at a time, but they have strong personalities and cute behaviors. Plus! If your routine around feeding them involves times you wake up or return from work, they will always greet you (at one point, I unintentionally conditioned my guinea pigs to wheek for treats to the noise of the car alarm "beep beep").

[acute-crashout-jeyuso]

Sacrifices (BTR Series Book 2 of 3) a Jhea Fanfic.

Chapter 31: Bartholomew..

March 28th, 2025 4:13 PM

Jey stood at the doorway, arms crossed, watching Jeyce slump toward his mom Takecia’s car. His tone was sharp and firm as he called out.

“Just because you’re going to your mom’s doesn’t mean you’re not grounded. I already told her about your third fight.”

Jeyce rolled his eyes but mumbled under his breath, “Yes, sir.”

“Keep it up, and you won’t see Demi for a month,” Jey warned.

Jeyce grumbled something inaudible as he got into Takecia’s car. Takecia glanced up at Jey and offered him a small smile before pulling out of the driveway. Despite their past, they managed to remain civil for the sake of the boys.

Jey lingered at the doorway as another car approached the gate. A sleek Malibu slowed to a stop, its dark windows reflecting the late afternoon sun. Jaciyah bolted out of the house, dressed casually in jeans and a button-up shirt, his cologne faintly trailing behind him.

“Bye, Dad!” Jaciyah called over his shoulder, sprinting toward the car.

Jey’s eyes narrowed slightly, his attention shifting to the driver as the passenger door opened. Daya leaned across to unlock the door, her long black-and-red hair cascading over one shoulder. She smiled warmly at Jaciyah, who slid into the seat beside her.

Jey stepped forward, his protective instincts kicking in. “Jaciyah,” he called, his voice calm but commanding.

Jaciyah paused, halfway in the car, and turned back to look at his father.

“Where are you going?” Jey asked.

“Dinner and a movie. I told you this morning,” Jaciyah said, his tone light but respectful.

Jey turned his gaze to Daya, studying her. “Daya,” he said firmly.

Daya tilted her head and offered a polite smile. “Yes, Mr. Fatu?”

Jey crossed his arms, his tone unwavering. “You two be back by 10. No exceptions.”

“Yes, sir,” Daya said confidently, her voice steady.

Jaciyah grinned. “We’ll be back, Dad. Don’t worry.”

Jey gave him a look that clearly said, I always worry.

As Daya eased the car out of the driveway, Jey stayed at the doorway, watching until the Malibu disappeared out of the property and down the street.

With a sigh, he turned back to the house, muttering to himself, “These boys are gonna send me to an early grave.”

—

5:52 PM

Rhea yawned as she leaned over, entering the gate code with tired fingers. The gate creaked open, and she gave a tired wave to Jeremiah and Jeremy, the neighborhood guards, as she pulled her plum-colored Tahoe into the driveway. She pressed the garage door opener and listened to the soft whir of the door lifting.

From the backseat, a faint sound caught her attention. She grinned, glancing at the small cage tucked behind her seat. “Bartholomew! Welcome to your new home!” she cooed.

With some effort, she opened the car door, her swollen feet landing on the concrete with a dull ache. Her 18-week pregnant belly, slightly larger than expected for her stage, made every movement a slow process. Grabbing her backpack, she slung it over her shoulder and shuffled to the backseat.

She carefully unlatched the cage, revealing a fluffy black-and-white long-haired guinea pig. Bartholomew blinked up at her as if assessing his new surroundings.

“Come on, little guy,” she murmured, lifting the cage out of the car. Slowly but steadily, she made her way into the house.

“Babe!” Rhea called as she pushed the door open, her voice echoing through the house.

Heavy footsteps thudded on the staircase, and Jey appeared, his hair slightly messy, looking as though he had just woken up from a small nap. His expression shifted the second he saw the cage.

“What the fuck is that?” Jey blurted, eyebrows shooting up.

Rhea laughed, stepping into the kitchen with her new furry companion. “Help me, babe. I’m exhausted.”

Still baffled, Jey grabbed the bags from her shoulders and set them down by the counter as she gently placed Bartholomew’s cage on the white marble surface.

“Who is that?” Jey asked, leaning in to get a better look at the guinea pig, who was now nibbling on a piece of hay.

“His name is Bartholomew,” Rhea announced proudly, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Jey stared at her in disbelief, pointing at the little creature. “We’re gonna have a baby in a few months, and you decide to bring home a… guinea pig?”

“Bartholomew,” Rhea corrected with a grin, leaning against the counter and rubbing her belly. “He’s part of the family now.”

Jey sighed, running a hand over his face. “We got two dogs and a cat, and now you’re starting a petting zoo?”

Rhea shrugged. “He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Jey squinted at the guinea pig, who let out a soft squeak in response. “I guess,” he muttered, shaking his head. “But I ain’t cleaning up after him.”

Rhea smirked, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “You are going to clean up after him because if you don’t I will use my skills to throw you on the floor again.”

Jey stared at Bartholomew one more time and then back at Rhea. “You’re lucky I love you,” he muttered, shaking his head as he turned toward the fridge.

“And Bartholomew too,” Rhea teased, laughing softly as she opened the cage door to pet her newest addition.

After dinner Rhea gave Jey the chore of assembling the guinea pig’s cage. After some time, Rhea smiled warmly as Jey finished assembling the indoor cage in the corner of the living room. The cage was spacious, with fresh bedding, a water bottle, and a small hideout hut. Jey stood back, hands on his hips, inspecting his work.

“Okay, done, babes,” Jey announced, brushing off his hands as if the task had been a major construction project.

Rhea, who had been sitting on the couch, cuddling the guinea pig, looked up and grinned. Bartholomew snuggled against her, his tiny squeaks of contentment filling the room. She gently ran a finger through his silky black-and-white fur.

“You hear that, Bartholomew? Your palace is ready,” she said softly, kissing the top of his furry little head.

Standing with some effort, Rhea slightly waddled over to the cage and carefully lowered Bartholomew inside. The guinea pig sniffed at the bedding before scurrying to the corner, investigating his new home.

“Ain’t he pretty?” Rhea said, leaning her elbows on the counter and watching him with adoration.

Jey raised an eyebrow, folding his arms across his chest. “Pretty? You talking about that little furball like he’s a prize-winning poodle.”

Rhea nudged him with her elbow, smirking. “He is a prize, and don’t pretend you don’t think he’s cute.”

Jey scoffed but couldn’t hide the faint smirk tugging at his lips as he watched Bartholomew nibbling on a piece of hay. “Yeah, alright, he’s aight,” he admitted.

Rhea chuckled, turning to wrap her arms around Jey’s waist. “Thanks for setting this up, babe. I love him already.”

Jey kissed her forehead and murmured, “As long as he don’t take my spot in bed, we’re good.”

Rhea laughed. “Don’t worry, your spot’s safe… for now.”

They stood there together, watching Bartholomew settle in, the soft hum of the house making the moment feel peaceful. Rhea couldn’t help but feel a wave of contentment wash over her. Between Jey’s support and her growing family—both human and furry—everything finally felt like it was falling into place. Rhea took a seat back on the couch and she smiled at the overwhelming love she was feeling. Jey admired the little guinea pig as he explored his cage.

Rhea’s eyes widened in surprise as she felt a soft flutter in her belly. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, and she let out a soft, surprised gasp. “Ooh…” she murmured, a little breathless as the sensation caught her off guard. Her fingers lightly pressed against the spot on her belly, her expression shifting to one of pure wonder.

“A kick?” she questioned, her voice full of awe.

“What? It kicked?” Jey asked, his tone laced with disbelief.

Then, it happened again—a gentle, but unmistakable thump against her hand.

Rhea’s face broke into a wide, glowing smile as her excitement bubbled over. “Baby! It’s kicking! Jey!”

Rhea grabbed his hands, guiding them gently to the exact spot on her belly where she had felt the movement. She placed his palms there, her own hands still lightly resting on her stomach.

“Feel it, babe,” she urged, her voice soft but full of excitement.

For a moment, there was silence, just the sound of their breathing filling the space. Then, as if on cue, the baby kicked again—stronger this time—and Rhea’s face lit up even more.

“Whoa,” Jey whispered in awe, his eyes going wide as he felt the little kick under his hands. He gave Rhea a look of sheer amazement, the love and joy in his expression palpable. “That’s… that’s amazing.”

Rhea nodded, her eyes misting with emotion. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she leaned into Jey, feeling more connected than ever before.

“I told you… I told you it would happen,” she whispered, as if the baby could hear her words.

Jey looked down at her, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s real, huh? We’re gonna be parents.”

Rhea nodded, her heart swelling as she placed her hands over Jey’s. “We are. And I can’t wait to meet them.”

Another soft kick against their hands made her giggle, and Jey’s face lit up in a grin that matched her joy.

“We’re gonna be great,” he said, his voice full of hope and excitement as he gazed down at her belly. “I’m already in love with them.”

Rhea, feeling her heart swell, “Me too, Jey. Me too.”

—

Rhea lay on her side of the bed, the quiet hum of the room almost deafening as she stared at the ceiling, her mind racing. Her phone call with Brandy Villegas, Morris’ lawyer, had left her with little to hold onto. No updates. Nothing solid. The fear gnawed at her, but she pushed it aside for the moment.

She let out a quiet sigh as she hung up the phone, the words “police believe he may have been killed” echoing in her mind. She could feel the weight of the uncertainty press down on her chest, but she didn’t want to burden Jey with that worry, not tonight.

Jey, noticing the shift in her energy, turned his gaze toward her, concern written all over his face. “You okay?” he asked, his voice gentle, yet laced with care.

Rhea didn’t immediately respond. She just stared at her phone, the screen now dim in her hand. “Nothing yet,” she said softly, her tone heavy with unsaid words.

Jey frowned but didn’t press her further. He could tell there was a lot on her mind, and he understood her need for space. But, as always, he wanted to help. He shifted on the bed, resting a hand on her back and offering her a comforting touch.

“Well… onto lighter things?” Jey suggested, hoping to lift her spirits. “Are you ready to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Rhea’s eyes softened, the excitement she had been trying to keep at bay finally breaking through. Her lips curved into a smile, and she turned to face him. “Yes! I’m so excited for tomorrow!” she exclaimed, her voice full of joy, the worry from earlier melting away for just a moment.

Jey smiled at her enthusiasm, his hand gently resting on her belly. “Me too. I can’t wait.”

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, both knowing that the excitement of their little one was the one thing they could hold onto right now. Despite everything else going on, the anticipation of becoming parents together was something they both looked forward to with every passing day.

Rhea shifted closer to him, her head resting against his shoulder. “Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?” she asked softly, her eyes closing as she let herself relax in the moment.

Jey grinned, his fingers lightly tracing circles on her back. “I think it’s a girl,” he said, his voice teasing but warm. “But I’d be happy either way.”

Rhea chuckled, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I think it’s a boy,” she said, her tone playful. “But either way, they’re going to be perfect.”

Jey pulled her in closer, his arms wrapping around her. “Perfect,” he agreed, his heart full of love as he held her close. “No matter what.”

They lay there for a while, quietly wrapped in each other’s embrace, the only sound being the soft hum of the room. The world outside could wait. Right now, it was just the two of them, and their growing family.

—

March 29th, 2025 1:21 PM

Jey’s hands gently covered Rhea’s eyes, his touch warm and comforting, as he led her through their backyard. She could feel the excitement radiating off him, and the anticipation bubbled inside her, mixing with the love she felt for him. He had been planning something special for this moment ever since they were given the baby’s gender in an envelope last week, and she could feel it in the way he guided her, his steps slow and deliberate.

“Just a little further, baby,” Jey murmured in her ear, his voice soft with affection.

Rhea smiled, her heart racing with curiosity. “What are you up to, huh?” she teased, trying to peer through the cracks between his fingers, but he held her eyes shut firmly.

“Patience,” he whispered, a playful grin in his voice. “Just trust me.”

They stopped, and Jey slowly removed his hands from her eyes. Rhea blinked against the sudden change in light, her eyes adjusting as she took in the beautiful sight before her. The entire backyard had been transformed into a dreamy, intimate setup just for them.

In the center was a table covered in a white cloth, with a cake sitting proudly in the middle. “Baby Fatu” was written in delicate yellow, blue, and pink lettering, the colors reflecting the choices they’d made for their baby’s future. The cake was surrounded by soft streamers and confetti scattered across the grass. Nearby, cupcakes with blue and pink frosting sat invitingly on another white table, and the air was filled with the gentle sway of green, pink, and blue balloons gently dancing in the breeze.

Rhea’s breath caught in her throat, overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. “Jey…” she whispered, her heart swelling. “This is perfect.”

Jey, dressed in a soft pink button-down shirt and khakis, grinned at her. “You deserve perfect, baby,” he said, his voice full of warmth. “But there’s more.”

Without warning, he pulled her close and kissed her tenderly. Rhea melted into the kiss, her hands finding his shirt as she deepened the embrace. She broke away, laughing softly. “You’re spoiling me.”

Jey smirked, “I like spoiling you, babe.” He then stepped back, holding out his hand. “Come here, baby.”

As if on cue, hidden behind the bushes, Jeremiah pressed play on the stereo. The familiar, haunting melody of Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey started to fill the air. The song that had become their song — the song Jey had sung to wake her up from her coma, the song that played on the keyboard when Rhea had come back to him in December, announcing her pregnancy. The song that had graced their ears on Valentine’s Day when a harpist had played it just for them.

Rhea’s heart skipped a beat as the music washed over her. The song that had carried them through their toughest moments, and now, it was playing in the background of one of their happiest.

Jey held out his hand once more, a soft smile on his face as he gently pulled her closer. “You’ve done it a million times already, but this time…” he whispered, his voice tender. “Dance with me, baby. Allow yourself to let go of everything that’s happened to us in the past few months — everything that’s become our relationship. Let it all go for this moment.”

Rhea’s chest tightened, but she nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. She took his hand, letting him lead her onto the soft grass. They moved slowly, the rhythm of the song pulling them together in a tender dance. The weight of everything they had been through — the loss, the pain, the uncertainty — seemed to melt away with each step. All that was left was the warmth of Jey’s embrace, the beat of their song, and the anticipation of their future.

She let herself be carried by the music, surrendering to the moment, to Jey. Their bodies swayed in sync as they danced, her hand resting against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

For a while, nothing else existed but the two of them. The rest of the world faded away… like it always does.

Jey looked down at her, his eyes filled with emotion. “I love you, Rhea,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” she replied, her voice thick with emotion, as she rested her forehead against his. “And I’m so ready for the next chapter.”

With their hearts beating in sync, surrounded by the beauty of their little celebration and the love that had gotten them through everything, they danced, knowing that no matter what came next, they would face it together.

After the soft, lingering moment of their dance, Jey looked at Rhea with a playful glint in his eye. “Alright, baby, let’s find out if we’re having a boy or a girl,” he said, his voice full of excitement.

Rhea raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. “Is that why there’s a tripod set up over there?” she asked, pointing at the camera stand.

Jey grinned. “Exactly,” he replied. He carefully positioned his phone on the tripod, making sure it was aimed at the setup. “I’m only recording this, though. I’ll send it to everyone later. I want this moment to be just about us for now.”

Rhea nodded, her heart racing with anticipation. “Of course,” she said softly, her hand gently resting on her growing belly.

Together, they walked to the cake display, picking up the empty glasses that were placed beside it. The moment felt surreal, but the joy in the air was undeniable.

“Okay,” Rhea said, her voice a mix of excitement and nerves. “Let’s look away and pull it out. You ready?”

Jey hesitated for a moment, clearly as nervous as she was. “I’m scared,” he admitted with a soft laugh.

Rhea grinned, trying to reassure him. “I should be the one scared, Jey,” she teased. “You’re the one who’s been dreaming of this moment.”

He gave her a sheepish grin. “Alright, alright, let’s just do it. On three.”

They both turned their faces away, hearts pounding. Jey counted softly. “One… two… three.”

In unison, they pulled the glasses out of the cake. Both of them hesitated, slowly peeking at the glasses. The blue tint of the cake stared back at them.

“A BOY!” they shrieked together, their voices full of joy and disbelief.

“YEAH!” Rhea cheered, her voice full of excitement. She jumped up and down, clapping her hands. Jey pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her slightly off the ground, his heart swelling with happiness.

“ANOTHER BOY!” Jey laughed, his voice full of pride and joy. He kissed the top of Rhea’s head as they both basked in the moment, unable to contain their excitement.

But then, as they pulled away, they were startled by the sound of clapping from behind them. Rhea’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned to see Jeremiah, Jesse, and Jeremy all standing there, grinning widely and clapping enthusiastically.

“Surprise!” Jeremiah called out, winking at them.

Jey laughed, clearly caught off guard but happy. “You guys… you couldn’t even wait for the reveal, huh?” he joked.

Rhea laughed as she wiped a happy tear from her cheek, still in shock. “I can’t believe you guys were hiding here the whole time!”

Jeremiah shrugged with a smirk. “It’s a family celebration, right? We are more than just bodyguards.”

“Alright, alright,” Jey said, still smiling. “But seriously, ANOTHER BOY! Can you believe it?”

Rhea wrapped her arms around Jey again, this time in a more tender embrace, as if the gravity of the moment was finally settling in. “I can’t believe it,” she whispered, her voice full of love. “But I’m so happy. Our family’s growing, Jey.”

Jey smiled, looking down at her. “I couldn’t have asked for anything better.”

As the camera continued to roll, the family’s cheers and laughter filled the air, the joy of the moment amplifying as they celebrated their newest addition.

—

4:31 PM

Rhea sat cross-legged on the bed, cradling her baby bump with one hand while scrolling through her phone with the other. She heard Jey moving around in the closet, the faint shuffle of fabric and the occasional mutter as he adjusted his gear.

“BABY!” she called out impatiently, putting her phone aside. “I wanna see! Hurry up!”

From the walk-in closet, Jey chuckled. “Alright, alright! I’m coming!” His voice was laced with a mix of excitement and nerves. This moment felt surreal. Standing in his WrestleMania 41 gear after months away from the ring—it felt almost foreign. The injury in November had sidelined him for far too long, and with everything that had happened since then, the thought of stepping back onto the grandest stage of them all was overwhelming.

But now, after weeks of planning, training, and pushing his limits at headquarters, the big day was finally here. His nerves bubbled under the surface, but the familiar fire of competition burned brighter.

Jey stepped out of the closet, decked in a sleek black and red ensemble that perfectly reflected his renewed confidence. His gear was sharp, modern, and screamed main event energy. The black fabric was adorned with intricate red designs, giving it a fiery edge that matched his persona.

Rhea’s eyes lit up as soon as she saw him. “Baby! I love it!” she exclaimed, her voice full of admiration. She sat up straighter, her excitement contagious.

Jey grinned and turned slightly to give her a full view. “You think it’s good?” he asked, rubbing his hands together nervously.

“Good?” Rhea shook her head with a wide smile. “It’s perfect! You look like you’re about to main event WrestleMania and steal the whole damn show.”

Jey’s grin widened, his nerves easing a bit at her enthusiasm. “Well, check this out,” he said, holding out his arms. “Look at my wristbands.”

Rhea leaned forward, her curiosity piqued. She gasped softly when she saw the details. On his right wristband, stitched in bold, elegant letters, were the names Jeyce & Jaciyah. On his left wristband, the name Demi stood out proudly.

Her heart melted at the sight. “Oh my god,” she said softly, reaching out to gently touch the stitching. “Baby… this is beautiful. You’re taking us all into the ring with you.”

Jey nodded, his expression softening. “Exactly. You, the boys, our family—you’re my reason. Every move I make out there is for you.”

Rhea felt her eyes well up as she smiled at him. “You’re going to kill it out there, Jey. I know it.”

Jey stepped closer and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “Thanks, baby. I needed to hear that.”

Rhea smirked, her playful side returning. “Now, don’t get too emotional on me, Fatu. You’ve got a WrestleMania moment to create. But seriously… you look like a damn superstar.”

Jey laughed, pulling her into a gentle hug. “With you hyping me up, how could I not?”

As they held each other for a moment, the weight of the journey they’d been on together settled between them. WrestleMania wasn’t just a match for Jey; it was a statement—a declaration that no matter what life threw at him, he was stronger, more determined, and ready to rise above it all. And with Rhea by his side, he knew he couldn’t lose.

—

March 31st, 2025. 2:28 PM.

“Demi, your meeting with Bruce is in five minutes,” one of the production assistants reminded Rhea as she shuffled through her office. She grabbed her WrestleMania 41 note binder, her heart racing with excitement and nerves. WrestleMania season always came with high stakes, and this meeting was no exception.

Despite the ache in her swollen feet, a constant reminder of her 18-week pregnancy, Rhea made her way to the conference room with determination. Adjusting her oversized blazer over her baby bump, she pushed open the door with a confident smile.

“It is such a pleasure to meet you,” Rhea said warmly, extending her hand to Kendrick Lamar, who stood waiting alongside Bruce Prichard. Kendrick gave her a friendly smile and shook her hand firmly.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Kendrick replied as they all took their seats at the table.

Rhea opened her binder and leaned forward slightly. “Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with us. WWE would be honored if you performed at WrestleMania 41. Specifically, we’d like you to introduce the final entrant for the returning Money in the Bank match.”

Kendrick leaned back in his chair, nodding thoughtfully. “That sounds like a vibe. WrestleMania’s always had some iconic moments. I’m down. Plus, anything for Jey Uso,” he said with a grin.

Rhea blinked in surprise, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Oh?”

“Yeah, word travels fast,” Kendrick continued. “I heard you two are an item. He’s a good dude.”

Rhea couldn’t help but smile, resting a hand on her belly. “He is. And… well, he’s also the father of the child that’s currently brewing in me.”

Kendrick let out a soft chuckle. “Congratulations. That’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Rhea said, her smile widening. “This WrestleMania is special for us both. Jey’s making his in-ring return after everything he’s been through, and I get to help make it happen behind the scenes.”

Bruce chimed in, “We think having you perform will elevate the match to a new level, Kendrick. Your presence would make it unforgettable.”

Kendrick nodded, a gleam of excitement in his eyes. “Let’s do it. I’ll start working on something special for the entrance. WrestleMania deserves nothing less.”

Rhea’s excitement bubbled over. “Thank you so much! I can’t wait to see what you come up with. This is going to be incredible.”

As the meeting wrapped up, Rhea walked Kendrick and Bruce to the door, her heart swelling with pride. WrestleMania 41 was shaping up to be one for the history books—not just for Jey’s return, but for the monumental moments they were creating together.

Rhea walked back to her office, her thoughts still buzzing with excitement over the Kendrick Lamar meeting and WrestleMania plans. As she opened her office door, she froze. Standing inside was Brandy Villegas, Morris’ lawyer.

Brandy offered her a polite smile. “Forgive me for the unannounced visit,” she said.

“It’s fine,” Rhea replied, shutting the door behind her. She crossed the room and sat down at her desk, immediately noticing the somber look on Brandy’s face. “I trust the news isn’t good?”

Brandy gave a small nod, her expression sympathetic. “He was found dead. In a shallow grave just outside Raleigh, North Carolina.”

Rhea sighed, her hands instinctively going to her belly. Her face remained calm, her emotions carefully tucked away. After everything, she was too numb to cry. “I see,” she said softly.

“I have something for you,” Brandy said, pulling a folder out of her bag. She handed it to Rhea.

Rhea opened it, her eyes scanning the documents. “What does this mean?” she asked, her voice cautious.

Brandy clasped her hands together and leaned forward. “It means he sold the club before he disappeared. And he left you his entire estate. After my fees, you’re looking at… $950 million.”

Rhea blinked, her brow furrowing in disbelief. “Nine hundred and fifty million what?”

“Dollars,” Brandy clarified gently. “Your inheritance.”

Rhea leaned back in her chair, processing the words. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m not,” Brandy said with a faint smile. “It’s all there in the paperwork. He transferred everything to you before his disappearance. I imagine he knew something was coming and wanted to make sure you were taken care of.”

Rhea shook her head, her hand once again resting on her belly. “This is… a lot.”

“I understand it’s overwhelming,” Brandy said. “Take your time to process it. I’ll be here to help with any legal steps we need to take moving forward.”

Rhea nodded slowly, her mind racing. She glanced down at the folder, the weight of it sinking in. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. An inheritance she hadn’t asked for, left by a man she had mixed feelings about, tied to a past she wanted to leave behind.

But now, it was her reality.

[chainslobber]

One of my favorite furry stories was this one time I happened upon a picture of chili on the front page of Furaffinity. It's not uncommon for people to post pictures; fursuits, or figures, or plushies. I don't know what compelled me, but I clicked on it and then read the description. It was some lady's first attempt at a chicken chili. I know chili never really looks appetizing but it looked...bad.

Regardless, she was SO happy about this chili, she talked about the things that went well or the things that were difficult, the things she messed up on and the way her cat was so annoying on the counter the whole time.

Curiosity piqued, I checked her page. Her description was that she was a 'cinnamon bear in her 50s' and lived alone. She couldn't draw, or write. She didn't fursuit or sculpt or make music. She claimed she was getting to grandma age and still couldn't understand 'what the devil' crocheting was because she couldn't figure it out. Most of her gallery was pictures of her little house, a very messy garden (looked like a tiny yard she made the best of), her cats. But the rest was pictures of food.

Much like the chili, it was different recipes. Some looked good! Some looked like literal slop. Every single picture was posted and the descriptions were like the chili: things she did well, or learned, or messed up on. I followed her, and within a few hours, she noted me and told me she was so happy that I followed her. She had maybe 50 followers on her paws but she was so genuinely warm.

Every day or every other day, she posted pictures of food and a new story. Her food got better. Her pictures got better. She grieved the loss of a cat. She praised her brand new crockpot for being 'a mean old bitch' that seemingly read her moods, burning food for bad recipes but making food tender and juicy when she was happy.

I followed her for maybe three years before she posted a final image of some hospital food. There was no love in this story. She had been fighting a rare blood disease for years. She complained the jello was ass, the plating could use work, how the food was somehow too salty and somehow bland all at the same time. This woman had a mouth on her but she was always so funny with it. She passed away only a few months later.

But that's when something weird happened. I started seeing food on the front page for a few weeks. I don't know what compelled me but I clicked on a picture, and wouldn't you fucking know it, it was her fucking chili recipe. it somehow looked worse than her original attempt but the uploader basically said 'looks like a pig's ass, tastes like heaven. I hope you're proud up there, momma bear'.

Furries have always been the kindest people to outcasts. They saved my life time and time again. They helped me raise almost $8,000 for my dog's surgery. They've helped pay my rent for fourteen years, have given me some of the best friends I've ever made, have let me experiment with comics and use a Patreon and be myself. The community is niche but the love is strong. I hate seeing people dunk on them because 'oh they're weird'.

Maybe they just want to make chili.

[smol-ay]

Did you know that some pants are made out of cotton?

Frogs use their eyes to swallow!

Dey are also legless when they are little tiny babies

There is cheesy penguins at the store!!!!!!!

(rip penguins they are living in the dark, it won't be light till march)

There is cheesy WHALES at the big store

I got a beaver today

Guinea pigs cry milky tears to clean their fur like kitties lick themselves cavvies cry

Did you knwo you can grow teeth in your body

I wanna say hi to the people in teh animal costumes the the furry suits

I wanna wear one

can i wear one?????