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nathanbatemanfucker · 3 years ago

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Aberration of the Heart: Chapter 7

warnings: jealousy, fluff

AN: people demanded more reader x derek’s friendship and i love to give the people what the want. there is a bit of jealous hotch in here tho don’t worry!

AOTH MASTERLIST

On the way home from the case you avoid Hotch at all costs. The thought of what almost happened between you thrills and terrifies you at the same time. Your thought process with avoiding him is to throw Emily off since you weren't ready, and neither was he, to tell anyone about your...friendship.

You’re still on rocky territory with that word. Somehow friendship felt like too much and too little all at once, especially since what almost transpired in your hotel room.

On the jet, Derek tells you that you have to come over, sighting that he can't trust you to take care of yourself and you oblige. Hotch watches intermittently from across the plane as the two of you bicker and laugh with each other. He doesn't let himself look for too long with a fear of getting caught by someone else on the team. He always feels conflicted emotions when his jealousy flares up. Reminding himself that you weren't his had become something he had to do over and over. But it was proving hard for him when you catch his eyes on the jet, holding them as you smile just a bit wider before look back at Derek.

Once you all land, you give everyone a group goodbye, making it easier to avoid Hotch again though you wish you didn't have to. You wished that you could run into his arms and finally kiss him with ever ounce of emotion you had, but you couldn’t. Instead, you follow Derek to his apartment, parking in the space next to him.

"You in any pain?" Derek asks as the two of you enter the foyer.

"No, I'm good, I just need to relax and not talk about it. Please." You reply as you make your way down the hall to the bathroom to change. Derek must follow suit because when you emerge he isn't there. You walk back to the front door and set your bag by it when your phone rings. It's Erica again.

"Hey, how is she?" You ask eagerly, hoping for good news.

Erica's voice is lighter and more bright, floating through the phone in a much more relaxed manner than the last time. "She's stable but they're monitoring her for at least a few more nights."

"That's so great to hear, I knew she would kick its ass, Lily's a tough kid.”

"Takes after her godmother." Erica compliments you, and for some reason your face heats up. Maybe its the thought of Derek being able to walk into the room at any second.

"I suppose she does.”

"Tell me you're not working still, it's been days."

"No, we're off until Tuesday, so I’m resting for a few days. I'm just at Derek's."

"Ah, yes, the Derek Morgan."

You snort, rolling your eyes at her emphasis. "Why do you say it like that?"

"Because he worships the ground you walk on and you act like he doesn't."

"I don't know what you're talking about. You've never even met him." You say defensively and she laughs.

"Y/n/n, its me, Erica, your first love. You can't pretend with me. The way you talk about him is enough."

"It's not like that really. There’s, uh, there's someone else." You lower your voice as your eyes flit up to see if Derek's returned yet. He hasn't.

"Someone else and you've never mentioned them?" If you weren't mistaken you'd say you hear some jealousy in her voice.

"It's complicated." Is all you say as you watch Derek come down the hall. He gives you a wide grin that fades when you point to the phone and mouth 'Erica'. You're confused by his displeasure and turn away from him to continue the conversation.

"How many times have I heard that line?" She teases, referring back to when you turned her down almost 4 years ago.

"One too many times." You say apologetically.

"Listen, I know that you felt boxed in because of me, and I know that I came on hard when you weren't ready but you can't keep people at arms length your entire life because of it."

"Erica, that's not true, you didn't come on to me hard, we were in love. It was a normal next step I just wasn't...I don't know..." You trail off trying to find the right words. You hadn't quite figured out everything about why you turned her down all those years ago.

"You know we've never really talked about it we just kinda-“

"Moved on because you met someone else?" You offer.

"Hey, you're the one that said no." She shoots back playfully.

"Not because I wasn't in love with you, I loved you, I always have and always will."

"I know, me too Y/n/n. Could we talk about it? One day, it doesn't have to be any time soon."

"I'll come see you soon."

"I would love that. I'll let you go since you're with Derek." She emphasizes his name again, more in a sing-song voice this time and you wish you were there to elbow her in the side.

"You have to stop saying it like that."

"I will when you fess up. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye." You say before hanging up, sliding your phone into the pocket of the hoodie you have on.

"You and your ex are really..." He trails off as he takes a seat at the island in the kitchen.

"Really..." You mimic him, raising an eyebrow.

"Close." He finishes, giving a half-assed shrug. "I don't tell any of my exes I love them."

"That's because you can't keep track of them." You joke but he doesn't lighten up and your face twists in confusion.

"Y/n, I'm serious, that's a slippery slope."

Your mouth drops open in shock at the turn this conversation has taken. Where was this coming from? "Erica is happily married and I turned her down when she asked me. We're fine."

"I mean, when you say I love you to her, is it completely platonic?" He challenges, leaning forward.

"It'll never be completely platonic, I was in love with her for several years."

"Then maybe you shouldn't talk to her as much."

"Derek, please, I just want to relax. Not get judged for how I handle my past relationships." You cross your arms, your bottom lip sticking out in a slight pout. If there's one thing you knew you could do to get him to drop an argument, it was pout.

He shakes his head and let's put an exasperated breath. "Alright fine, I'll drop it. Sit on the couch, I'll make you some tea."

You smile in triumph as you skip over to the couch, plopping down in the center of it. The silence is comfortable as you lean back with your eyes closed, listening to just the sounds of him puttering around his kitchen.

The electric kettle goes off in no time and he steeps a bag of peppermint tea for you before bringing it over. "Here, drink, and I'll be right back."

As you take a sip of the tea he disappears. It's fresh and light, and makes you instantly feel invigorated. He's back in almost no time with a tube of some sort of ointment.

"It's vitamin K cream. This'll help the bruises fade, I always have some given that I'm the one who always fights." He sits next to you, getting a light coating of the cream on his hands.

"You used to be until I came on the scene." You lean forward to set your tea on the table before angling your neck so that he can see the bruises well.

His eyes roll at your comment but he starts to smooth the cream of your neck, his hands warm against your skin. You’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t feel some butterflies in your stomach but you push that feeling away. "Yeah, you're never doing anything that stupid again."

"I can't believe you and Hotch tried to team up on me."

"Speaking of Hotch, what was that about?"

Your heart stops but you don't let him see your affected and you pray that your body has tended up under his touch. "What do you mean?"

"He's been hovering.”

"Around me? No chance." You murmur as he tilts your head up even further, moving in to make sure he was satisfied with the application. You feel his hands slowly ghost over the bruises and for a moment, your mind flits back to almost kissing Hotch in your hotel.

"Bullshit." One of his hands drops from your neck and the other goes up to your cheek, caressing it softly in a 'all done' manner before he leans back against the couch.

"I seriously don't know Derek, Emily said the same thing but I think it was just because I'm the newest on the team and it was a high stress, high danger situation. Now, I thought we weren't talking about work or my exes?"

"Ok, ok, chill, I'll back off. Come here." His arms are outstretched expectantly, and you tuck yourself into them, laying your head on his chest. "You're sure you okay after that?" His whispers into your ear, sending a chill down your spine.

"I'm fine, really. I knew what I was doing, I can handle myself." You play with the fingers of one his hands, unable to look up at him because his voice sounds so tender, so worried.

"If you say so."

"I do say so."

That was the end of it. The two of you watched reruns of some renovation show that Derek always records for rare days like this. You like watching what he wants, knowing that he'll probably gain information from these episodes for his hobby of restoring and renovating old homes. It doesn't take long for the two of you to doze on the couch though you fall asleep first. When he notices the soft rise and fall of your breathing, he kisses your temple before pulling the blanket up closer to both of your chests.

Derek is almost asleep when he feels a buzzing going off in your pocket. Knowing you’re dead to the world he slips his hand into your hoodie and pulls out your phone before maneuvering from behind you. He looks down at the phone, surprised by the name he sees on it; Hotch accompanied by a roll of film emoji. He'd have to ask you what that means sometime.

"Hotch?" He still asks it like a question even though he knows who's on the other end. Glancing at you he decides to walk down the hall and into the bathroom to talk.

"Morgan?" Hotch can't hide that he's thrown off. He knew you would be with Morgan but he wasn't expecting him to answer your phone.

"You ok man?"

"Er, yes, I wasn't expecting you to...is Y/n alright?"

"Yeah, she's fine, just sleeping. Is there a case?" He says the words slowly, unsure of what the nature of this call is.

"No, I was just checking in on her given this past case’s events. I need to schedule a sit down with her about her actions." Hotch tells himself it isn't a complete lie. He did have to speak with you about your actions but he wanted to hold you and kiss you too, preferably in the comfort of one of their own homes, not some stuffy meeting where he had to be your boss.

"Right.” Derek pauses for a moment, debating on whether he should ask this question but his curiosity gets the best of him. “Hotch are you sweet on her?"

Hotch silently chokes on air for a moment, running his hands through his hair as he paces in his bedroom. "Excuse me?"

"I'm just-"

"I'll see you on Tuesday. Let her know to give me a call before then so we can set up a time." Hotch's voice is tight before he hangs up with no proper goodbye.

"Derek?" Your soft, thick with sleep voice floats down through the house and he's back to you in a flash.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I just woke up and you were gone. I didn't like it." You run your hand over your face.

"Come on, I'll set you up in the guess bedroom." He holds out his hand for you to take.

"Can't we just stay here?" You groan groggily, unwilling to move. You were so comfortable, a cocoon of perfect warmth.

He's unable to say no to you when you look so beautiful. Your hair is a little wild, your eyes barely open, and your mouth pursed in dissatisfaction. Derek can't imagine not giving you what you want.

"Alright, I'll come check on you a few times."

"Stay. I don't want to be alone." You plead, your eyes opening further.

He pauses for a moment, reading the increased speed of your breathing and the emotion in your half opened eyes before he sighs. "You said you were okay."

"I know, I was, I just...I had a nightmare." You look down at your hands, embarrassed. You knew it was normal to have nightmares about shit with unsubs, especially when it was so personal, but you'd been so good at compartmentalizing until now.

He doesn't respond, just jumps immediately into action and slides under the covers with you once again. His strong arms engulf you and unlike last time you're awake when his lips find your temple, though just barely. "Go on, I've got you."

"Thank you, Derek." You mumble as you drift into a world of what he hopes will be nothing but sweet dreams.

"Anything for you, sweet girl." He whispers, knowing that you won't hear him.

tagged: @ssahotchsbitch, @ssahotchie, @mrsh0tchner, @azenpal, @disgruntledchowchow, @chelseyjoyce, @hotchwhore15, @hotforhotchner11, @ssamorganhotchner, @choppa-style, @kuolonsyoja, @heliotropehotch, @angelhotchner, @hellishvisions, @zetasaturno99, @g-l-pierce, @romanogersendgame, @leilanixx

#aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #arsonhotchnerwrites

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electricsockhead · 4 years ago

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💓 jenelope headcanons 💓

side notes:

1 -> it’s established relationship cuz idk how to write f-t-l with them 😖😖😖

2 -> this is set in like seasons 1 & 2, so there’s no kids and jj is still media liaison

3 -> please come talk to me about them!! idc if you’re seeing this posts 6 months after I posted it or 12 years (if I’m still active) PLEASE COME TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

4 -> Trigger Warnings:

brief mentions of SA! (talking about their job)

possible displays neurodivergent traits! (if you’re neurotypical, this trigger is not for you, it’s for those in ND community who get triggered by stimming and mentions of breakdowns. also, the only reason “possible” is added is because I’m not neurodivergent (nor a doctor) so I have no personal experience with with these, and I don’t know if they’re considered neurodivergent traits. if you’re neurodivergent im 100% willing to listen to your opinions and thoughts on this!!!)

jj loves falling asleep over penelope, and loves holding one of her hands and just fiddling with her fingers (interlacing them, kissing her knuckles, etc)

Penelope always played with jjs hair when they do that, and she loves trying to make a braid with just one hand. sometimes she tangles jjs hair a little and they laugh 🥰🥰

when JJ is having a bad day she sits cross-legged on one of Penelope’s desks and just fiddles with Penelope’s toys

occasionally throughout the day penelope will go over and just hold her waist and rest her head on one of JJ’s thighs and JJs hand automatically goes to her head and starts fiddling with her hair

On days where she can’t stay in Penelope’s office she takes one of the toys with her and is fiddling with it all days and doesn’t let go for too long

On those days when they get home they cuddle and sometimes if it was really bad jj will break down and cry into Penelope’s shoulder and Penelope just comforts her through it 🥺🥺🥺

sometimes she also gets really touch averted so they’ll just sit next to each other while jj sobs into her hands, and Penelope just sits with her so she doesn’t feel alone 🥺🥺

On game nights they always have so much fun and they rarely bicker over the color/object of the players because penny will always go for the smallest or pink one and jj will always go for the one with more texture or blue one (ex. on the life game, penny gets the pink car and jj gets the blue one, or monopoly, jj gets the Statue of Liberty because it has a lot of bumps and she runs her fingers through them all the time because it calms her down and helps her feel grounded, and penny gets the hat because it’s small and sometimes she likes to just run her fingers through the “hem” — they rarely ever leave their pieces on the board which causes them to forget where they were but it’s ok cuz they always have fun 🥰🥰)

On their days off, they like to go on picnics and jj takes care of the setting while Penelope takes care of the snacks

jj always picks somewhere with a body of water, usually a river but they live nearby a lake and sometimes they go there as well

she absolutely loves seeing the water just move on the river or just stare at the cute ducks on the lake

Penny always has cookies and extra money in her bag cuz she knows jjs gonna want to get ice cream

at dinner time, usually penny cooks, but jjs always with her, sitting on the counter and trying to help out (even tho penny said not to worry, and that she likes to do it by herself, and also to give jj a break from always working), and when she has nothing to do (or nothing in her hands to fiddle with) she’ll set the table extra nice with candles and wine

jj loves when they’re too lazy or too tired to cook anything so she just makes ham and cheese sandwiches for them and they sit on the couch and watch TV.

Penny loves putting on romantic dramas or romantic comedies while jj likes putting on western/action movies (it gives closure she never got as a kid 🥺💔)

One thing they can’t watch is horror because then the next day they can’t really do their job right because they just keep going back to the movie that depicts what they only see the aftermath of (like yeah they see the dead body and they’re informed of sa, but if a movie is graphic enough that it’ll depict it, then the next time they hear a victim was SAed they’ll be able to picture it and it just makes the job a lot harder to do 🥺💔)

On a lighter note, they have movie nights every Saturday and a lot of times they settle for Disney movies, and they’ve watched lady and the tramp so much that they know a lot of the dialogue

They also sometimes like to put it on mute and make up their own dialogue, and they always have so much fun with it

They have this little plush toy they keep in between them, so when one has a nightmare they can cuddle it while also cuddling each other (like if jj has a nightmare, she’ll get cuddles from penny, with the plushy in her own arms)

every morning they wake up half an hour earlier then they’re supposed to so that they can be lazy in bed and steal sleepy kisses and still get up in time and not be late for work

they never tried to hide their relationship from the team, but they weren’t necessarily public about it.

Hotch was the first to know, and he’s like “there’s fraternization rules against it, so no one on this team should be in a relationship” but then pulls them aside and he’s like, I don’t know nothing, I ain’t see nothing, but if hypocritically there was something, I’d be happy with it, BUT I DONT KNOW NOTHING (aka, he supports their relationship, but doesn’t want them to get in trouble 🥺🥰)

the next to find out is Morgan and he’s * o f f e n d e d * that his bbg never told him and she was like “you never asked 🤷” and he’s like “yeah, fair point” (obv. he also supports it)

When Elle finds out she’s like “hot.” And they both blush, but she’s supportive and it hurts them more then anyone else when she leaves because she’s the only other queer woman they’re close with, but then when Emily joins, she can smell the gays a mile away and it brings them a bit of comfort

When Spencer find out he’s also * o f f e n d e d * they didn’t tell him, but he gets super excited and buys them a bunch a Pride stuff for them because he knows they might not use it so he gets an excuse to have gay shit lying around his house (🚪🚪🚪)

Gideon never really payed attention to their “friendship” but when hotch offhandedly mentions it he acts like he already knew, and doesn’t make a big deal out of it (let’s be honest this man is an ally ☺️☺️)

as time progresses, they become more and more open about it, and occasionally will display copious amounts of PDA, and the team finds it absolutely adorable because they’re so happy for them 🥰🥰

the end ☺️✨

if y’all don’t mind, I’m tagging @geeky-son-dr-reid and @gleaminginthespotlight 🥺 ilysm

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jamesvanriemsdyk · 4 years ago

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hi James, love your blogging! just wondering, did you ever make an updated-through-the-2021-season version of that Leafs primer you had last year? if not, would you happen to know anybody on here who has made something like it? looking to give my roommate a crash course on who everyone is before they watch the game with me tonight. if you don’t have anything, that’s totally fine, enjoy the game!!

hello. the answer to both those questions is no, but i will literally do one to two sentence player summaries under the cut right now, and i will keep a tally of how many times i have to google. it will not be many.

let me just start with the big four:

auston matthews: #34, first overall in 2016 and first line center, won the richard this year with 41 goals in like 53 games or something crazy. highest drafted latino player ever, theres lot of baggage here, im sure u can explain all this to ur friend but itd take too long to get into it here

mitch marner: #16, fourth overall in 2015, best playmaker on the team, first line rw. human energizer bunny and the best player on the team. hella sexy on the pk, i love him.

william nylander: #88, eighth overall in 2014, second line lw, best skater on the team, also best at zone entries. severely underrated and notoriously hated by the toronto media and also don cherry.

john tavares: #91, second line center, drafted 1st overall to the islanders in 2009. signed w the leafs in 2018 (hometown boy!!! johnny toronto!!!), best captain ever, sexiest man on the team. i love him.

and uh now i will finish the first two lines and then go into lines 3 and 4:

zach hyman: #11, drafted by the panthers and then signed w the leafs because fuck the cats (jk i like them so much but zach didnt so. toronto), lw on the first line, penalty killing KING, the sparkplug of the team. bounces around the lineup but not because hes bad, hes genuinely that versatile of a player. also jewish, which is cool. king.

nick foligno: acquired at the trade deadline, plays rw on either the first or second line depending on injuries, i love him. was the captain of the cbj for like a while, which is neat because he left them for the team they knocked out of the bubble last year. hilarious.

alsx galchenyuk: my beloved. #12, my favorite number, will probably be out of the lineup for at least game 1 because the leafs are literally too good. has a whole saga involved w his career, but used to be a hab and was drafted 3rd overall by them, which is important for this playoffs. king.

third line:

mikheyev-nash-kerfoot

ilya mikheyev: #65, penalty killing king, cannot score shorthanded to save his life but he DESERVES it. signed in the 2019 offszn. i love him.

riley nash: #20, another cbj newbie. originally acquired for cap shenanigans, going into the lineup because hes a veteran and great defensive center. we'll see how this goes.

alex kerfoot: #15, acquired in the kadri trade, another great pker. i love him, he has more points than pld this season, hes great.

AND NOW FOR THE OLD MAN LINE.

jason spezza: #19, actual literal hall of famer, was with the sens and then the stars and now hes HOME, and i love him, and hes amazing. my dad.

joe thornton: #97, another literal hall of famer, was on the sharks FOREVER, now is here and very excited about it. has been decent this season, which was surprising to me, and i love him now. my friend sarah thinks hes hot.

wayne simmonds: #24, my beloved, used to be a flyer, he was exactly who i wanted dubas to sign this offseason, i adore him. my mom.

aaaaand now the dmen:

morgan rielly: #44, dating tessa virtue, the team's best offensive defenseman. people are mad at him rn because hes kinda sucked. we'll see how he does, but i love him either way.

thomas james brodie: #78, i love him i love him i love him i love him. signed from the flames this past offszn, best dman this team has seen in probably decades. i love him.

jake muzzin: #8, acquired from the kings, i love him deeply. will punch a bitch in the face and crush them also. love him.

justin holl: #3, works hard loves the game (and the boys), underrated as fuck. been in the organization forever and a day. i love him.

travis dermott: #23, boyfriend material, also been in the org forever, i love him deeply. third pairing/seventh d guy, does his job stupidly well for the disaster it must be to try to do it.

rasmus sandin: #38, drafted 29th overall in 2018, king king KING, hes amazing, holy shit hes so good especially for how young he is, i love him so much, king of my heart, king of this entire blog. i love him.

ben hutton: #55, acquired at the trade deadline, just happy to be here, will maybe get into the lineup if theres injuries, i love him.

GOALIES:

jack campbell: #36, the only goalie that matters, actual sunshine on skates, id let him **** me (thats big for me), i adore him. hes amazing. broke a carey price record this season. king.

freddie andersen: #31, i wish he was still good but he just isnt any more, it makes me deeply sad. hes still sexy tho

dave rittich: #33, BIG SAVE DAVE, acquired from cgy at the deadline, im very fond. will only get into the playoffs if theres insane injuries.

ok so i didnt google any of this but i did check the nhl app like 3 times for numbers. so. i hope this works lmao

#answered #also i see u in my notes all the time and ily #leafs primer #kinda #ok to rb also

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marvelsangels · 5 years ago

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"I Love You Please Don't Go"

(prompt from @hellsdemonictrinity)

Pairing: Peter Parker/Reader

Warning: Angst

Summary: You knew, you've known for awhile, but you let him, cause you love him you really do, and you're crazy enough to let your heart break more than it already is.

"Heyy babyy how was your dayy" Jumping on his bed where he sat holding his phone.

"It was uh, it was good i have tons of homework to do tho so i should start on it early" He replied half assed without even looking up at you.

He was doing it again, pushing you away, giving you excuses. You knew he wasn't seeing her, MJ was not an asshole, she would never see peter while peter was with you. She just wasn't like that. So no she wasn't the problem. Peter was.

Peter liked her, maybe even more? who knows? He started giving her heart eyes 4 months ago. 4 months of him still saying he loves you. 4 months like he hasn't been looking at another woman like how he would look at you. 4 months of him lying to your face when you knew the truth.

No you weren't "assuming" anything. You found out. How? Well Peter has a habit or writing down how he feels on a piece of paper and then quickly throwing it away. As if to confirm he was actually feeling it, and not just thinking about it.

You didn't mean to read it it was private and you respected that. But he left it un crampled on the floor when he was in a hurry, and asked you to help clean his room.

i like MJ, maybe even more.

He didn't even write down how you would feel in all of this. How broken hearted you'd be if you found out. He wasn't even scared.

He didn't care. Not anymore.

"Sooo can we hang out first? I haven't seen you in a while you've been really busy" Fighting to keep a smile you could almost feel the tears starting to spill.

Pushing his shoulders. "C'mon peteee"

"No I'm busy maybe tomorrow?" Still not looking up at you from his phone.

At this point you were crying while still holding a smile on your face. "Aww thats too bad then, uhm I'll leave you to it yeah?" Quickly wiping away your tears with your sleeves you got up and headed for the door.

"I'll see you, love you."

"I love you too Peter."

Closing his door and quickly making a beeline for the exit, you didn't want Aunt May to see you like this. You were stronger than that. Right?

Pressing the button on the elevator and waiting for it to come up, you couldn't help but think what you did wrong, was it you? It had to be. Peter wasn't like that no. He would never fall out of love just like that right? Maybe he got sick of you just waiting around for him and being all clingy. But he told you he loved that.

Not even noticing the elevator doors are already open until you heard your name, looking up you saw Ned.

"Oh hey Ned"

"Hey are you okay Y/n? why are you crying?" Reaching out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You didn't even notice you were crying so lost in your thoughts. You quickly wipe it away with your sleeves and give him the biggest smile you could muster.

"I just remembered this one movie scene. Ya know from Marley and me? ahaha! almost killed me." The tears still keep falling, it's getting harder and harder to lie.

"Y/n-"

"I have to go home Ned. I'll see you in class"

You saw it in his eyes. The guilt. Ned knew. And he was also lying to you.

Making it back home you went straight to your room, not wanting anybody looking at you like you're some kind charity who needs all the pity she could get. No you wont allow it.

Taking deep breaths, you saw a note taped to your vanity.

Hey hunny your dad and i went out to buy some dinner so he has something else to do other than playing with his robot thingys. Be back by 7 Love you, make sure to freshen up.

Smiling to yourself, at least you had your parents knowing they would always have your back.

Stepping out of the shower in fresh sweatpants and tank top you decided to head for the kitchen to make yourself some coffee and sitting on the island was another note.

Check if Morgan is still asleep.

Making your coffee quicker than you intended to you slowly opened her door to check if was still sleeping but instead of that you saw her playing with her ipad. Closing the door again and opening it dramatically this time. "Peanut you awakeee" slipping beside her on the bed and resting on your side. "Guess im gonna have to swallow all these jelly beans by myself."

"Noooooo" She giggled throwing her arms up your neck and resting on top of you. "Wheres it"

"Inside the chiller sweet pots, but im not giving you any until after dinner." Rubbing up her sides and pushing her hair beside her ear. "You know Y/N/N loves you right?"

"Oofcus i doo" Burying her face in your neck. "You mkay? Haven't seen spider in awhile" God how does a 6 year old know these kinds of things.

"Yeah im okay sweet pea, and he's been busy. Now come come lets go in the kitchen Mom and Dad are about to come home with dinner." Picking her up with you she couldn't help the giggles that escaped her tiny mouth. "Y/N/N!! dont drop meee"

Sitting around with your family felt normal, that is until your dad started asking questions.

"So how are you and Peter doing? Haven't seen the kid without a suit on. College that hard?"

Staying still and thinking of a smart reply, you came up with nothing knowing if you lied he would know instantly.

"College is hard daddy."

After dinner you quietly slipped out of your seat and made your way to your room. Staring out in the sky you thought of all the things you could've done that made peter fall out of love with you. You came up with nothing. Or were you that insensitive that you didn't know if you were hurting him? You're slowly falling apart. The confusion, the anger, the shame, the jealousy you felt it all and yet all you did was smile and say over and over that you were okay.

You weren't.

It was valentines day today.

Standing inside his messy room while he was seated on his desk writing something down on a piece of paper and beside it was a gift bag.

Deciding to take a peek and tease him to lighten up the mood and see what he got you, but once you did what you saw only broke your heart even more. He was writing it for MJ. The gift was for MJ.

You couldn't help the sob that escaped your lips. The sound made him turn his head.

"I didn't see you come in.."

"Why Peter?" you didn't even have the strength to raise your voice or be mad you were completely and utterly broken.

"Not now Y/n."

"What do you mean not now. Its time you tell me the truth Peter."

"Fine. I dont want you anymore its its- just its not working out between us okay? I work for your dad. And-"

"How dare you make this about my dad. How dare you say its not working out between us only after 3years. How dare you fall in love with someone else while you come back home to my arms and whisper to me i love you. How dare you Peter." Sobbing softly, He cant even look at you in the eyes. "At least look at me when i tell you all of this."

He had no guilt in his eyes. Not even a little. Even when he stood up from his chair, grabbed his letter and gift and turned for the door.

"Peter.. I love you, please don't go."

Sighs. "I have homework to do, lead yourself out Y/n." Closing the door as he left.

Clutching your chest and your other hand stopping your sobs you fell down on the floor and felt your heart explode into tiny little pieces.

"Im so sorry."

Fin.

Thanks for reading!

-angel 💜

#peter parker #peter parker angst #peter parker au #peter parker x reader #tony stark #pepper potts #peter parker fluff #peter parker oneshot #marvel #avengers #peter parker smut

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hackedmotionsensors · 6 years ago

Text

Here we go Endgame lets talk about it!

BELOW THE CUT

So I’ll say this!!! Over all!!! I liked it a lot. For a lot of reasons.

I also HAAAATTTEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD a lot of some of the choices. That’s okay. We can have mixed feelings about movies especially the end of a saga. I think they did a good job of getting nods where they needed nods, bringing in storylines from previous movies and conversations that needed to happen.

And they fucking whiffed it on at least THREE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS!!!

So lets start with what I liked.

1) STEVE TONY EVENT. DO YOU HEAR ME IT WAS A STEVE TONY EVENT aaaah oh my god. From the second Tony lands back on the planet and Steve RUNS to him before even Pepper and he’s holding him and just the look of agony as Pepper takes him away and the fight where Tony says ALL THE SHIT WE HAD BEEN SAYING!!!! WHERE WERE YOU! YOU LIAR!!! and he RIPS HIS HEART OFF OF HIS CHEST AND GIVES IT TO STEVE BECAUSE YOU FUCKING BROKE HIS HEART YOU FUCKING FUCKED UP STEVE!!!!! FUCKK!!!! And then reconciling because “Resentment is corrosive” UGHHH!!! And Steve just barely containing himself when Tony shows up ughh!! UGHHH!!!!!!! AND THE ASS JOKE!!! THERE’S NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION ABOUT THAT!!!! TONY SAW STEVES ASS AND WAS LIKE TAN FRANCED IT LIKE BITCH YOU NEED AN FRENCH TUCK OF MY DING DONG IN YOUR BUTT!!! and Steve over the intercom being like “omg tony not in front of the kids” AND A STEVETONY SOLO MISSION!!!!!!

A STEVE TONY...

SOLO

MISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TONY CALLING STEVE MY MAN WOW. WOW. FUCKING EXCELLENT ON ALL ACCOUNTS THANKS SO MUCH!! I was given some bread thank you I will eat this stevetony bread nom nom nom nom nom.

2) Tony’s arc in this story was really beautiful. He finally got what he wanted, some perspective and closure with Howard. And I know initially you want to go “Hey Howard was really abusive” and yeah he was. But its complicated. Because Tony even says in Homecoming he was trying to break the cycle of abuse and he DID with Peter and Morgan. You can see just HOW MUCH he cares for his daughter and he was willing to say fuck you to the UNIVERSE in favor of not losing her. Its always a different perspective when you see your parents as people and not as YOUR PARENTS.

Also Tony lying on the table with Natasha UuU. A lot of the interactions with Tony and the other characters were so good. Tony and Rocket. Tony and Nebula. Tony and Carol (tho brief). Tony arguing with Pierce like his little gay senses were like “This guys a nazi I bet”

3) I genuinely liked the Time Heist. I DID NOT LIKE THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL IN THIS MOVIE BUT I’LL GET TO THAT. But I looooved the Time Heist. From the New York stuff with Steve fighting Steve and knowing his dumbass loses his shit when he hears things like “Bucky’s still alive” and being done with his own stupid shit “I can do this all day�� “YEAH I KNOW” (which btw at this point was basically the last thing he said to Tony in Civil War so maybe that doesn’t have its plucky little fire anymore and now is a sore spot). I loved Loki running away with the Space Stone (even tho as of now I’m still not sure what the FUCK THAT MEANS!? more on that in a sec) Loki making fun of Cap. Loki rolling his eyes at Odin. Tony dressed in a shield outfit screaming Medic!!! The gang all on the elevator and Hulk screaming about it and LOKI WAVING HIS HAND AT THE HULK AS THE DOORS SHUT!! TONY SITTING ON THE BRIEFCASE! SCOTT GOING “how the FUCK did you not know they were Hydra LOOK AT THEM They’re a COP!” Then jumping forward to the 70s and Steve’s legs that went all the way up to his asshole and Tony dressed as a doctor

I drew a doodle of it here you go lol I’ll post it properly later

oh did this not happen? Idk what movie you were watching.

4) The big battle at the end was SO FUCKING COMIC BOOK I WAS LOSING IT. Also I keep calling it the Battle of Five Armies or Return of the King lol T’challa BATHED IN A HALO OF LIGHT LIKE YES WE STAN A KING. MY WIFE

MY.

WIFE!!!!!!!!

VALKYRIE!!! ON HER BEAUTIFUL WHITE HORSE!!!! (also not being given an actual name and called Valkyrie is the funniest goddamn thing. Like that’s like going into a Footlocker and talking to the manager but calling them Manager)

CAROL!!!!!! WITH HER BUTCH ASS HAIRCUT PUNCHING THANOS IN THE MOUTH AND WRECKING HIS SHIT

WANDA FINALLY FUCKING FLYING. LIKE. F L Y I N G. THAT is what the Scarlet Witch is SUPPOSED TO DO!! SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE SO POWERFUL IT TOOK EVERYONE TO TAKE HER DOWN CMON!!!!!! And she almost got him too. Honestly if it were down to Carol and Wanda they probably could have ended Thanos alone.

Korg coming back for more comic relief AND PUTTING HIM IN TAIKA’S PINEAPPLE ONESIE!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING.

5) This is controversial. And I know it won’t age well. And that’s okay and feel free to disagree with me entirely.

But I liked Fat Thor lmfao. I know it was played as a joke for the wrong reasons but I laughed. I was like fuck yes his belly looks like mine and that’s not why it was funny and it SHOULDN’T BE but I laughed lol. But on the other hand I think it had partially to do with Hemsworth constantly being like “no no we don’t need a shirtless scene” or just sort of a gag at how Marvel always has a shirtless scene and its just kind of funny to have it not be someone cut. EVEN THOUGH its a fat suit and I can’t take off my fat suit but Hemmy can and that’s kinda shitty.

but I laughed. I can’t help it. He was a whole ass mess and I thought it was funny. And I know there are Thor fans out there who wanted more for him but like I said before this was a SteveTony event. This movie and this win worked because it was Steve and Tony finally coming together again.

It felt honestly the most comic book Avengers of the entire series.

And true to comic book events

it whiffed the landing.

Before I get into dislikes I’ll say that I liked this movie more than I disliked it. I cried H A R D at the end of the movie. Because its not a movie that’s an on its own kind of movie. You had to have gone through the journey to get here. The pay off is completely lost if you only watch this movie. Or you only watch one or two of the MCU. Or if you’re like a few people I’ve talked to where they only like Steve and Tony. Or they only like Thor and Loki. Or they only like the Guardians and hate the avengers. If you have hate in your heart for any of these characters the payoff of this movie is pretty much lost.

The theme of this movie is clearly about moving on when things come to an end. When things stop or end or we lose people we love you have to move on. Steve says that at the beginning of the movie to our apparent gay representative straight director Joe Russo.

But like Tony said before.

Steve’s a fucking liar lmfao

But lets not start there. Lets start with the fucking timeline.

I hate.

I H A T E EEEEEEEEE TIME TRAVEL!!!!!! AS A PLOT!!!!!!! WITHOUT ANY RULES!!!!!!!!!

I enjoyed what we SAW of the Time travel but the rules itself DIDN’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.

So when they’re suiting up Hawkeye for the test run Bruce explicitly says that all these movies that say “if you go into the past and fuck up the past you fuck up the timeline and the present/future is fucked because you’ve changed things”

ARE WRONG. HE SAYS THEY ARE WRONG. He says “If you go into the past. The past becomes your present. But the present then becomes your future. So you can’t go back and un fuck your parents to make you. Or kill baby Thanos. because that happened and you can’t change that but you can change youre present”

WHICH DOESN’T

MAKE ANY

FUCKING

SENSE. BECAUSE THEN YOU AREN”T TIME TRAVELING!!!!!!!!!

If you go into the past yes YOU are in your present but the world is still being written around you STILL so you go into the past and change something (loki making off with the space stone) that’s CHANGED. You’ve created a new reality.

THEY EXPLICITLY SAY THIS IN DOCTOR STRANGE AND Y’ALL I KNOW DOCTOR STRANGE WAS BORING AS HELL BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO USE TIME TRAVEL AS YOUR STORY DEVICE THEN YOU CAN’T SAY THAT SHIT IN DOCTOR STRANGE DOESN’T WORK WHEN YOU’VE ESTABLISHED IT AS THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL.

THE ANCIENT ONE EVEN SAYS “you create a new reality. And it fucks shit up”

LIKE!?!?!??!

WHAT THE HELL!!!

So now Loki has the time Stone in reality B, in reality A Steve goes back and puts the stones back where they belong (and I guess.....gives the soul stone to Red Skull????????? wouldn’t you try to get Natasha back????like that itself is a whole movie of Steve going back and putting things away but ??????)

And then we get to the end of the movie where Steve says Fuck you to Peggy’s reality A family and now on this timeline where they’ve time traveled he lived an entire life WITH Peggy but like.......you were Captain America and you just said “No don’t worry about JFK being assassinated. Or the Civil Rights movement. Or stopping Bucky in any capacity. Or maybe saving MLK. Or Peggy continuing to join SHIELD. Or stopping ACTUAL NAZIS from infiltrating SHIELD.

Because if you go with this idea that Steve went back and “lived a life” What did he DO then. What did he FUCKING. DO?

You’re not Steve from 1940s going back to 1940s. You’re Steve form 2019 going back to 1940s. No wifi. No medicine. No cell phones? Gays are still being persecuted. You can’t drink from the same fountain as black people (or rather they can’t drink from your white fountain).

You are.

CAPTAIN.

AMERICA.

and you just said nah fuck it its fine? This shit can all happen but I don’t super care because I get to dance with Peggy. Peggy who on her own had this whole life. Who did all this stuff IN YOUR NAME IN YOUR HONOR. Who married someone else. Who had a FAMILY. Who had a NIECE that you made out with. And just..... wha....

Like if he had gone back and danced with her but came back with Natasha in exchange for the soul stone but during his travels had aged. Or met someone else.

Like movie wise and story wise I get wrapping up Steve’s story. And maybe the person Peggy is talking about in the video of her in TWS is actually Steve from 2019. Maybe that’s it. But it still doesn’t make sense because they FUCKED UP THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL SO WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

So. lol I wasn’t a huge fan of Steve at the end of the movie. I know they needed to do something to end the movie with a finality. With Steve being DONE. But instead of finality or closure I just have so many goddamn questions. And I don’t hold it against Evans or even really the directors per say. But I’ll blame Markus and McFeely because they were writing since TWS. They HAD the Cap STORYLINE to write about and that was how they ended it.

its like when you pack for a very important trip and you plan out all your outfits but then wake up late and end up throwing whatever you can find into your suitcase and run out the door.

It felt final and not final.

But I’ll tell you this. From my perspective and obviously I’m going to skew it this way because its me and FEEL FREE to disagree with me.

He left because Tony and Natasha were dead. The two people that he felt the closest to (sorry Sam, Bucky and Sharon [who we didn’t even see as dusted wow]) were gone. Natasha and Steve had become a brother and sister. He would always come back for her clearly. Trying to cheer her up as she’s crying. Natasha understanding Steve’s feeling of being lost. Tony inspiring and fighting with Steve. Like that’s part of what I liked about this is taht you could really feel how Steve and Tony needed each other for this to work but also they needed to not hate each other.

Also I kinda knew the second Scott said “That’s a one way trip!!” before the 70s bit that Steve was going to stay in the past lol What an asshole.

Also I don’t think it was very UN-Captain America because I think people don’t always realize that a lot of the inspo for the MCU came ALSO from Ultimates. And if Ults Cap was able to go back to the past he would have in a heartbeat. Who was a more depressed Cap? Ults or MCU? I just don’t know.

Now.

Natasha.

This was another one I kind of saw coming from a mile away as soon as it was just the two of them on Vormir. I was kind of hoping they’d Hawkeye a way out of the deal by like throwing his daughters picture or something like that. Or that it would be Hawkeye. But they both had an upcoming movie/series so I didn’t know which way it went.

And then there was that big jump. And I was like oh my god they did it right

AND THEN THEY FUCKING DIDN’T.

Wow. Wowwwwwwwwww

Markus and McFeely

REALLY DID THAT

THE RUSSO BROTHERS REALLY DID THAT

THEY DID THE SAME FUCKING SCENE TWICE.

The first time you get because Thanos is a dick and abusive and he would absolutely throw his favorite daughter into the soul pit (which I guess Isn’t picky because she didn’t love him back she hated him but I guess its a one way street with the ol’ soul stone)

And they don’t say during that one (far as I remember) that its a permanent exchange.

But they sure emphasized this time. And they sure killed the original avenger who was the only girl on the team. Who never got a chance to live.

Who Whedon made herself call heself a monster because she can’t have a family and then she gets a found family and then SHE DIES. THEY KILL HER. AFTER HAVING A FAMILY.

WHAT THE FUCK. Like...my problems with Scarjo aside (which are similar with my problems with Paltrow) You DID. BLACK. WIDOW. FUCKING. DIRTY. I don’t care that there’s a movie coming out that was her story. You were supposed to give her a fucking story. And now her story is only how she relates to her TEAM OF MEN.

And now to my last point that I didn’t like. And I don’t hate this one as much as Steve’s ending or Natasha’s ending.

I don’t like that Tony died. I know this is wrapped up in a lot of emotions I have about Tony Stark the character. Robert Downey Jr the person. Tony Stark the character in all his forms is very important to me and I love that he has many forms. 616, Ults, AvAc, Avengers Assemble, the MCU. But his story is important to me. And its heartbreaking. I’m tearing up a bit now writing this out.

I’m just the type of person that hates that a character, in a fantasy setting where you have wizards, valkyries, robots, talking raccoons and trees, Dave Bautista, a giant green rage monster wearing chinos, that you have to take this one part and make it realistic. That we have to keep realism kill this character off because it doesn’t make sense if someone doesn’t die. Because the stakes aren’t high if you don’t make them personal as well.

Which is true like you don’t have high stakes (the planet or universe getting dusted) if you don’t are about some of the people in that universe personally.

I just would have rather he had retired. Moved onto his little farm with Pepper and Morgan.

I think they did right by Tony. Storywise, ending...all the stuff the dropped the fucking ball on with Natasha and Steve they gave to Tony. And on one hand I get it and I appreciate that because (sorry to nat and steve fans truly) I care more about Tony. Tony started this whole thing. In a miracle of accidents they got the right actor, the right story, the right character, the right director, the right timing technology wise, the right social mood and made solid gold. And none of this would have happened if it weren’t for that amazing accident that happened.

And I think it has more to do with not wanting to let go or move on even though i can always go back to Iron Man 1 at any point and start the journey over again and have a laugh but there’s always going to be that ending where its final. Its done. Its over. And in the simplest of terms. I don’t like it. You have to know when to bow out and I respect and appreciate that. I don’t wanna see Iron Man 8 with geriatric old RDJ trying to fumble into a mocap suit.

I understand. I appreciate. But I don’t have to like it as a person. And that’s okay.

Its all about moving on isn’t it? That’s the theme of the movie. Moving on.

Even if you’re steve and your moving on wipes out the existance of a whole other family lmfaaoidnsfasfada sorry sorry.

Okay. yeah that’s all I think I can think of. I’m sure there’s a ton more other people have mentioned aside from what I wrote. Like its a LONG movie and I think its hard to say hey “they fucked this up” or “they got this right” for EVERY SINGLE THING. There were so many characters. Nebula’s story could have been better. Thor’s story could have been more involved. Hawkeye could have been more important throughout the series. Janet could have come back for the final fight and healed Tony. Like there’s a ton of “this COULD have happened” But it didn’t. And that’s okay. It may not be right but its okay. I think they wrapped it up as best you could while still making a good movie. I think you probably can go back after a long while and look at the Endgame and go yeah that wasn’t so bad for an ending. Endings are hard to do with any sort of skill. Its why the joke that the third movie always sucks.

There’s still a ton of stuff to look forward to.

Falcon/Winter Soldier, Loki, Hawkeye, Wanda and Vision (i GUESS??? lol), Black Widow’s movie.

Maybe Steve solved more than he let on who knows. WHO KNOWS. Maybe Mjolnir left him haflway through the journey when she knew he was going to ditch his 2019 family (who again....mostly dead now)

I love Tony 3000. Which I found out is more than a ton which makes Morgan Stark a lot smarter than I am lmfao

#avengers: endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #spoilers

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thegeminisage · 5 years ago

Note

5 headcanons for Arthur, Merlin, Morgana, and Gwen

ANON I LOVE YOU thank u

im doing these in reverse order bc i wanna save the best 4 last

GWEN:

i think she genuinely enjoys taking care of people. it’s a role she’s forced into a lot - she takes care of her dad, elyan, morgana, uther, even merlin and arthur once in awhile, even HUNITH - but i think she’s the kind of person who finds genuine fulfillment in doing that kind of thing (she picked FLOWERS for morgana just because), and if she hadn’t been the blacksmith’s daughter she would have made a fine apprentice to gaius herself

she’s a better rider than you. and arthur. and elyan. and morgana. and everybody

we never hear word one about gwen’s mom but i like to imagine she died just before gwen and morgana met (which i’m assuming happened shortly after morgana came to camelot) - and gwen, who had just lost a mother, could easily sympathize with morgana, who had just lost a father and was somewhere new and unfamiliar - and that’s why they became such fast friends

gwen is probably a few years older than morgana - i like to think she was morgana’s maidservant from the start, but i don’t think they would have let her be a maidservant to the king’s ward at age 10, so maybe she’s 3ish years older - not so much older she strays into big sister territory, but old enough to do the job required of her

nobody among the knights/guards really knew what to make of gwen or arthur’s feelings for gwen because she’s ??? just a serving girl ??? like they didn’t dislike her exactly and they respected arthur’s choice for the most part but they also didn’t know anything about her and couldn’t see why the fuck arthur would make such a stir over her when it would be so much easier not to. this changes 100% after gwen’s shenanigans with smuggling leon out of camelot; leon comes back singing her praises like ok ok i GET HER now y’all ain’t gonna believe how she got me outta that cell and on leon’s word (and because she’s elyan’s brother and he’s a knight now too) everybody else warms up to her too

MORGANA:

this is practically canon but she’s a lesbian, obviously. gwen was the first girl she had a crush on

this isn’t a headcanon exactly but i wish bbc merlin had had a better budget because you know who deserved a black cat familiar? morgana. like, aithusa made a wonderful foil to merlin’s relationship w/ kilgarrah and i would not wish aithusa’s fate on any creature let alone some poor innocent cat, but also, the IMAGERY...it could have been so good

this is also sort of canon but i think she dresses expressively, hence the goth look after she goes evil. @dellesayah & i joke about her “evil girl eyeliner” in season 3 but honestly look the way the girl wears 100% black in s4 and s5 i think the eyeliner was her own private expression of her inner angry goth post-poisoning when she still had to be wearing those colorful dresses to fool everybody into thinking she was the same good girl morgana in s3

same age as arthur. idk why most fics have her being older - tho i admit her being older but still not being able to inherit the crown is a VALID source of her rage - but if she was born w/ magic is makes the most sense for her to have been born after the purge started, aka after arthur. i guess it depends on when you think uther cheated on his wife lol. but i never really thought of morgana and arthur as having like an older/younger sibling thing - to me they were more like twins, so definitely within a year of his age, whether it’s slightly older or younger depends on how you feel that day i guess

wintertime birthday. i think arthur has a summertime birthday (more on that below) so it makes her a nice balance to him in that way

MERLIN:

the Most doting son ever. i imagine he had a few difficult teenage years (being a warlock and all) and that he still gets himself into trouble out of sheer stupidity sometimes but aside from that he was probably really well-behaved for the most part just because he didn’t wanna make his mama sad

autumn birthday, since we went there with morgana (to complete the quad in Balance, gwen’s would definitely have to be in the spring)

ok i know colin morgan had to like put on a nice “proper” english accent for the show because katie mcgrath didn’t have one but in my heart merlin sounds like a HICK (whatever the ye olde englishe/modern british version of hick sounds like, he’s it) and his accent only gets worse for all the time they’re at ealdor. like arthur THOUGHT it was bad he probably picked on merlin about it all the time but he had NO IDEA how bad it gets! none! and EVERYBODY in ealdor sounds like that except somehow EVEN WORSE! gwen and morgana think it’s UTTERLY charming but arthur is SO GLAD to get back to camelot and away from all that nonsense! and so then ok when they meet balinor in s2 (who speaks like a normal human being) he listens to merlin talk for 5 minutes and IMMEDIATELY knows exactly where the fuck he’s from. #hicksrepresent

merlin SAYS and BELIEVES he understands magic should only be used for great deeds blah blah blah but when he gets overworked and short on time, yeah, that armor’s gonna be polishing itself while he works on 4 other things at once - he just gets better at not being caught. it’s a great deed to keep arthur’s armor in peak condition, right? arthur says he’s a terrible servant but actually being magically aided he winds up being like...really good at his job, once he gets into the swing of it. he’s just fucking insubordinate always 24/7

*** ****** no i will not be taking constructive criticism

ARTHUR:

he knew they lied to him in 2.08. he always knew. canon evidence supports this in 4.03 he says “i lost both my parents to magic” listen to me he ALWAYS KNEW!!!

canon also semi-supports a summertime birthday - i read somewhere once that they made it a point to only show camelot in spring thru early fall so they didn’t have to explain why there wasn’t snow on the ground. arthur’s coming of age ceremony (which i assumed either followed or preceeded his birthday) was in the middle of season 1, which would have been mid or late summer, hence: arthur is a summer baby.

i really like the gay!arthur headcanon but i also think he and gwen have incredible chemistry and i really like their relationship so like...maybe gay with one genuine exception. also that boy EMBODIES internalized homophobia :( poor lad

fond of DOGS and sometimes HORSES but refuses to show it because that’s not very manly of him. he’s too into hunting to truly be an Animal Person but since you don’t hunt dogs or horses generally he has a very very secret soft spot

the writers didnt do this on purpose but in my heart i believe the reason he was willing to risk SO much to save mordred in 1.08 was because of what he did to that druid camp from 4.10......like at first yeah he tries to be hard-hearted about it & just do his fuckin job but i think once his conscience was tripped he couldn’t stand to see a druid kid die again under his watch for no good reason. he’d’ve never agreed otherwise, not even for a kid. he wouldn’t have ratted morgana out but he wouldn’t have helped her either

(send me a character & i’ll give you 5 headcanons)

#personal #liz answers asks #ask memes #merlin blogging #bbc merlin #long post

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96xie · 5 years ago

Text

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

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heartavenged · 6 years ago

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THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AVENGERS ENDGAME

SPOILERS.

Based on the amazing post by @saieras (21 things I loved about endgame), anything pushed by blockquotes (the little line on the left), and some of the titles, come directly from said post --DISCLAIMER -- and means I agree completely.

1. THE FIRST 20 MINUTES

Expectations? Chuck them out the window. They weren’t kidding when they said all promotional material came from the first 20 mins!!! I loved how they got right into the thick of things, cameras blazing, completely no nonsense. And CAROL omg. Also I did NOT expect Thanos’ death to be, Just Like That.

CAROL, again.

2. THE TIME JUMP

Very, very smart move. I liked everything about the time jump. It lets us view the event with a lens of a world shattered, a world that has had the chance to come to its senses and reel from the catastrophe.

3. TONY CONFRONTS STEVE

I have firmly been Team Iron Man since Civil War, and Tony is my favourite character (I am not okay), so suffice to say that I loved how, even weakened with malnourishment, he got in Steve’s face, and everything he said.

4. THE LANGS

Just. Every joke he made. Fantastic.But also I did not expect to shed my first tear at his and Cassie’s reunion. That was great.

5. DOMESTIC TONY

Tony and Morgan. Such a real, cute father-daughter relationship. ‘Mommy send me to rescue you’ and ‘Love you three thousand’ filled my heart with joy.

6. INTERN

Tony and Peter’s photo (...) AND THAT PHOTO WAS HIS. In HIS HOUSE. FRAMED. I REALLY wish we got more but that moment was very powerful. Still, I was unsatisfied. I wanted Tony to cry. I wanted Morgan to also know about Peter. Basically I want more canonical proof of Irondad Spiderson. Like, listen, this is the one loss that haunts Tony to this day. Peter’s death was the kind of pain that made Tony terrified of going again, for fear of losing Morgan

7. THE NYC SCENE

ALL of it. From Tony the security guard, to him talking shit about his own deodorant, to him giving himself a cardiac arrest to cause a diversion and being like this is fine, nothing to see here. And Hulk vs stairs. And STEEB. OMG STEEB. “Hail Hydra.“ “I’ve got visuals on Loki.” “I can do this all da–“ “Yeah. I know. I know.“

“Bucky… Is… ALIVE“

And butt jokes. So many Steve buttjokes. I don’t ship stony, but that is the closest y’all will get to a stony suggestive scene.

ALSO LOKI just yeeting himself outta there. That’s ma boi!

8. FRIGGA AND THOR

Nuff said. Mama Frigga is the best.

9. TONY AND HOWARD

It’s really great how adorable Tony was throughout this scene. And… while Howard was NOT redeemed, it’s nice to know he did love his son. And it’s great that Tony got some closure.

10. PEGGY AND STEVE

Out of the Big Three’s scenes with their “significant past people”, this one was the least impactful for me, as they didn’t even talk, BUT in retrospect it set the scene for later perfectly.

Also because I don’t much care for Steve.

11. GAMORA

This is GREAT and showcases her character very well, who she really is despite who Thanos raised her to be.

True, the minute she realizes Thanos’ plan is to wipe out half the universe, she is so clearly appalled (I don’t think she really knew what he planned for after he gathered all stones), and immediately starts to reconsider her position on the whole thing.

12. CLINT AND NATASHA

Their friendship was on full display during this film. Their scenes. And how it was all platonic. The entire audience knew, as soon as they landed on Vormir, that one of them wasn’t going to make it.

- I knew it would be Natasha , though, Clint and his family, and Natasha and her whole “I need redemption, I’m still trying to be a better person” -

Back to the Vormir scene: it was amazing, and heartbreaking, the lengths they were willing to go to make sure they were the sacrifice, like, how they were willing to injure if it meant the other were alive at the end. Clint and Natasha were never my favourites (except around Avengers), but I will forever applaud Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner for their outstanding performance.

13. THE BIG THREE FIGHT THANOS

Thor’s lightning and Tony’s Iron Man tech combining to kick purple ass, all of three of them holding the titan back while the others tried to crawl out of the rubble. Still, the “big three fight” was mainly focused on Steve, in my opinion.

Like previously stated, I’m not a greeeat Steve fan, but even I have to admit that Mjölnir zapping to his hand at that precise moment was awesome. I cheered right along with everyone else. Which also justifies Thor grabbing it along from the past and possibly, maybe, most likely, leaving his past-self without it?

Anyways, cue tears at each shard of the shield.

14. THE ENTRANCE OF THE HEROES

If I was crying before, the moment that Sam hails Steve, and Shuri, Okoye and T’Challa walk through that first portal I was outright sobbing.

Words don’t do justice to the emotion I felt at seeing ALL my heroes assemble for the last time. At each new face I cried harder. They didn’t forget anyone and that made me so fucking happy.

I felt as if I could climb into the screen and fight alongside them, I felt powerful enough and fired up enough to do it too. And that’s the magic of that scene, thank you cast and crew. Thank you MARVEL for the incredible build up, I thought it was worth it.

15. PETER AND TONY

How Peter goes straight for Tony and cute rambling mode is already turned on, but Tony can’t even speak, and just falls into the hug in a parallel of their “hug” in Infinity War.

“Oh, this is nice!”

The moment is essencial since Peter, and not really any of the other tens of trillions* that vanished in the snap, is the reason Tony embarks in the time travel venture, even when it could’ve cost him so much. So it validates his choice, besides his being, you know, a true hero.

16. CAROL’S ENTRANCE

I missed her in this movie. I mean, I thought she would be in almost every shot, but maybe that was just because I think she’s fantastic. Her entrance, tho.

“What are they shooting at?” “Something just entered the atmosphere”

And then blast! Singlehandedly destroying the mothership (Thanos’ looks so fucking offended and we can see any conviction of victory waning from his expression), and kicking some ass. Way to establish dominance early on girl!

I mean, I played with the idea of Infinity-War-Thor being equal to Carol, (and maybe, maybe, he could’ve come a close) but now? She’s so clearly in another level... No words except: goddess.

17. PETER IN THE BATTLE + CAROL

Instant kill mode

So proud of him. The way he flips in, and is instantly like Woah this is a Big Fight!!

“Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”

CAROL. CArol listen. You are his mom now. That’s how it works with that damn kid. (...) It be like that sometimes.

I don’t think Carol would ever be around enough for anything close to parental relationship (plus, May is Peter’s mom), but that boy will worship the hero-shit out of Captain Marvel.

18. MARVEL’S HEROINES

If my crying had eased a bit from the general assemble moment, I fucking cracked again here. They are so tough, and powerful, and beautiful.

As a woman, it was so damn empowering and important to see all of them up there, together, each with their own background and their own strengths. I love how we had all kinds of women - warriors, mothers, princesses, generals, wives, captains, businesswomen, scientists, girlfriends, assasins, friends, witches - and all of them fighters.

I also can’t wait for the gifset and the final still - it’s gonna be my background for about everything.

Also RESCUE. OMG. PEPP. And the battlefield fighting side by side with Tony.

19. TONY’S SEND OFF

His death. I was glad Pepper was the last one there, to tell him it’s okay, they’ll be fine, he can let go.

AND PETER. Peter was there, trying to talk to him, sobbing and breaking down. This is what I wanted, going in, if Tony were to die. And this is what I got. You just know this is going to haunt him in FFH.

And Tony himself. His immense sacrifice, the moment he knew what he had to do, the moment Strange held up that finger. One way. UGH.

Of course I knew Natasha wouldn’d be the only one to die, but damn, I’m still feeling the hole his amazing fictional character left/ is going to leave in my life. Literally the only one (Peter was of course safe with Far From Home around the corner) I didn’t want to die. I loved him before my heart was inflated with Stark-family feels.

The lake house was so peaceful and I loved how it showed that after all his trouble, his PTSD, Tony had found a home and a family (even if somethings haunted him).

The picture, and how devastated Peter is can only mean that between Homecoming and Infinity War they grew closer, which had always been what I wanted. But I wanted to see it! Fanfiction will have to continued to lull my pain, I guess.

Speaking of fanfiction, Harley being at the funeral is all the proof my little fanheart needs to claim they’ve not only been in contact through the years, but had a mentor/parental relationship as well.

The question for me now is: how well do the boys know each other?

20. AND FINALLY, TONY. RDJ.

Thank you. Beyond all words, Thank you.

This has been one hell of a ride.

FOREVER IRON MAN

#avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #MCU

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otomelavenderhaze · 6 years ago

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11/11/11 Tag

Tagged by the sweetie @guardians-of-las-vyxen (gal, I love you forever for tagging me on this).

I will took the liberty of speaking about Neshaa and May.

1. What is your OC’s favorite pattern or print?

Neshaa would like anything with stars/galaxies/nebulas (in red or in dark blue/black) and of course May would like anything in flowers patterns (in a color that matches her and with a balanced/artistic desing).

2. What do you like best about your OC?

I like how Neshaa is so cheerful, she really feels like a sun to me - warm, bright and captivating - and that comes from everything that she is: her back story, her desing, her personality and even her powers - I love how she is not “normal”.

May’s “voice in my head” is alot more emotional and calmer than Neshaa’s. I love how May is mature and still so sweet, so full of feelings and flaws.

3. What annoys you most about your OC?

Neshaa’s desing KKKK is the thing that I love about her and also the thing that annoys me. Cuz its so hard to not forget the freaking butterfly in her cheek, SO HARD! *sobbing*

May’s hair- it is a nightmare to draw it in her normal hairstyle. Thats why I created the “loose” version, cuz I wanted to enjoy more draw her :’)

4. What fandom or original work is your OC from?

Mcl and Mclul (Neshaa don’t really exist in mclul, its basically a complety different environment that I created for her and Armin after mcl, you can say that the only thing that I didn’t changed in it was the fact that Alexy will meet and be with Morgan).

5. What inspired you to create your OC the way you did?

Neshaa was inspired in anime characters as such: InuYasha and Tomoe (kamisama hajimemashita). And honestly, any character that have powers, is kinda problematic, need to hide their powers and struggle with two sides of them.

I was very inspired for Hamilton to create May, more specifically Szin’s desing for Angelica. She also have a little bit of Eliza on her now that I think about it, I tried to come up with a character that looked more like me in my personal tastes, because I liked the idea of Candy being in a Art Major and I really wanted a character that I could relate better to, maybe have more fun with. I wanted May to be a poc, hardwork, independent, but very emotional woman (my sister, even in this very fine day, still calls May of Angelica just to tease me kkkkkkk).

6. Has your OC changed any from their original design?

Not much besides their hair. Neshaa had like... 4/5 different hairstyles? I guess when I started playing at first Neshaa had brown hair and brown eyes too, but that changed pretty quickly and didn’t changed much since.

When I was trying to figure out what I wanted for May, I nearly did her with silver/grey eyes - but that changed shortly too.

I can’t say about major changes, because my art style is so inconstant.

7. What is your OC’s sexuality? Did you choose it for any specific reason?

Neshaa is bissexual - cuz there is not enough bissexuals characters out of there and, as being bissexual myself, I didn’t wanted her to be straight. I didn’t much with her sexuality... cuz she did ended up with Armin and such. Thats why May is straight kkkkkkkk cuz I knew that she would end up with Rayan kkkkk but I don’t mind if other’s ship her with female characters at all.

8. If your OC has a pet, what is it? If they do not, what sort of pet would they want?

PFFF, I LOVEEEE THE PET QUESTION AND I WILL ALWAYS ANSWER THE SAME THING: Neshaa is the pet! KKKKK When Rocket dies, she and Armin wouldn’t have another pet, because of her fox form. Neshaa normally scares small animals with her presence - Rocket tho, was the weird exception. Neshaa is not much of a pet person.

And May will have a cat, I didn’t decided the breed yet but it will probably be a stray cat (Rayan is going to give it to her after she quitting her second job, there is a whole long ass hc about that).

9. Does your OC have a power? What is it?

Neshaa have 3 forms (human, fox and kitsune), she can summon ghost fire (blue) that can burn or not burn ppl (when it don’t burn, its purifies things), she is also strong than a normal human (if she don’t control her strength, she can easily break somebody’s bone) and still she is physically weaker than a normal kitsune. Neshaa can also enter in other’s ppl dream for a short time period and create small illusions.

Also, its not really a power, but humans can feel easily attracted to her (in a friendship sense and in a sexual sense sometimes) - its not super duper strong, there is ppl that absolutely hate her, but its like a defense mechanism that helps it blend in better.

Seems like she is pretty op, but y’all should check out what normal Kitsunes can do kkkkk some can dirtorce the time and space :’) (but maybe I overdid it, just maybe kkk)

May’s super power is know how to use painting and draw better than me, what is not very hard *sobbing*

10. What has been your favorite part of creating your OC?

Is see how their personality and backstory is taking shape and changing - that you only learn with the time and how they interact with different situations, different characters and experience new things.

11. Do you have any current fandom interests or original content in the works that you are in the process of creating characters for?

I’m always in process of doing something and never finishing them complety... I was working in my Stardew Valley ocs (now I have two), I have a idea for a oc in mclul that works in the Snake Room (that I’ve in my head but I have never drew him)... and lately... I’m beeen thinking about something that i prefeer not say now :’) I want to show when I have it done.

Now, my questions:

What kind of song your two favorite main ocs like hearing?

What would be your oc’s favorite movie when they were kids?

What takes to make your oc fall in love for someone? And why?

What is the craziest scenario that you ever pictured your oc in?

If your oc had 3 wishes to make, what would she/he choose?

What inspired you to create your OC the way you did?

What oc that you created and grew dearly to you with time?

What was the most painful thing that you writed/drew with one of your ocs?

What would be your favorite oc Hogwards house? Why?

Describe a place where your own would feel safer and more peaceful?

Do you have any current fandom interests or original content in the works that you are in the process of creating characters for?

I will tag: @otome-aeriie, @badgalasuna, @kurohabl, @dailygila, @colombia-chan, @murdererowl, @irene-yorokobi, @loonylein, @moonywithoutpadfoot, @hipster-writer-official (for some reason I couldn’t get to tag you).

Anyone that feels like it, feel free to do so and maybe tag me!

#May #Neshaa #long post #this one was already done since yesterday

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whateverisbeautiful · 6 years ago

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Reveling in Richonne

121: The Turn (8x14)

The thing about this show is that it can have a weak season but, even then, there will still be at least a few moments that really deliver. And to me, this conversation between Rick and Morgan in this episode really delivers.

It’s pretty moving and the fact that Lennie James and Andrew Lincoln are such phenomenal talents definitely has a lot to do with it. 💯

And in this conversation they have, there’s actually some Richonne connections to be made.

Plus, the events that occur in these following moments are particularly important since this is where we see a pivotal point for Rick. Imo it’s a large part of his turning point.

So after the beautifully acted moment between Rick and Michonne earlier, the next time we see Rick he’s sitting in a room with Judith. Rick clearly seems very distraught and then we see that he’s staring down at Carl’s hat, which is beyond heartbreaking, especially knowing that Carl was able to express what that hat meant to him in front of his dad. 😭

We’ve seen Rick have very brief moments of breaking and collecting himself post-Carl but I think this is the moment where the inner chaos that must be going on in his head is the most visible. Like this scene makes it clear how much all this is eating away at him. So he gets up and leaves cuz he can’t let himself sit in this pain.

And it’s interesting that Judith was included in this moment because I think it just further hits home that Rick is in such a gripping head space that neither his wife or his daughter (the two lights he has left in this world) can bring him fully out yet. They definitely have come close, but right now his wrathful side has taken over and is spurring him to keep “moving to move away from it.”

So the very next scene is Rick walking outside with that coat on, so you already know what’s bout to go down. Someone or someone(s) finna meet their end. 💯

Another significant thing about this jacket is that it’s the one he wore when he killed the Claimer trying to kill Carl in the season 4 finale, and it just reminds me that Rick would do everything in his power to protect Carl and keep him safe and yet his son still eventually didn’t make it. (Why TWD, why?) 😢😪

On a lighter note, I notice how when Rick walks out it low key feels like when kids sneak out knowing good and well they’re supposed to stay inside lol. Like I def think all that looking around he does as he walks has to do with Michonne, cuz he knows if he runs into her then he won’t be able to help but abide to her wish that he stay here and process like he’s supposed to.

(Side note: I wish Michonne would have got her own storyline this episode so we could know what she did while Rick was out and in finding out he left. It would have been nice to know what she was up to that day. And not just cuz I’m in the ministry of #GiveMichonneMoreScreenTime)

This whole moment of Rick leaving is an indicator that Rick’s not in the best spot cuz Homeboy never goes against Michonne’s guidance if he can avoid it. Last time something like that happened he went crazy in ASZ.

So Rick approaches Alden and we’re seeing some signature Rick Nothing-to-play-with Grimes which I’m a fan of lol. He’s using his cop knowledge to get intel out of Alden and to get an idea of where those escaped Saviors might be.

Before walking away, Alden asks Rick that if it’s possible, could he not kill anymore people than he has to and he lets him know that Rick could have the potential to show these people a better way.

It’s significant because it’s a very similar sentiment to what Carl expressed to him in his final moments.

And again, it just goes to show that no matter how far he runs, everywhere Rick goes there is going to be some reminder of Carl and the message Carl instilled upon him.

After Alden tells him that showing these Saviors some empathy is something he could do, Rick responds saying “Yeah I could.” It’s low key petty, but I love the delivery of that line lol. 😋

At the same time, it’s yet another way to show that Rick isn’t ready to come to terms with Carl and his message. He knows he could do that, but he’s not trying to let the more rational side of him be in control of his actions right now cuz again, his goal is to kill away his problems.

So Rick leaves and then he runs into Morgan. And y’all they’re both on edge and losing it a little so probably not the best company right now lol.

But I’m very happy these two got a storyline together cuz they started this series off and they’re some of the few characters that still have my heart on this show. Plus Lennie James and Andrew Lincoln are both seriously A1 actors. They are the best of the best in this cast, along with Danai and Melissa McBride imo. 👏🏽👏🏽(Which interestingly they play the four characters who lost children🏽)

When Morgan and Rick run into each other, Morgan’s in that murky headspace so Rick has to tell him “You know me”. And I love that it’s a “Clear” reference. It’s sweet that Rick knows how to proceed and talk Morgan down somewhat when he’s having an episode. It’s also sad cuz last time he told Morgan this, Carl was alive and well and forming the roots of his precious bond with Michonne. 😔

Rick also tells Morgan that he probably shouldn’t be out here which is true…for both of them lol.

But what’s funny is that when Rick realizes they are both out here to finish off those Saviors he’s like “We finish it. You and me” to which I was like bruh but you just said he shouldn’t be out here 🤔…Again, not exactly thinking straight rn.

(Side note: Hearing him say “you and me” made me wish Rick would stop and remember how in 7x12 he told Michonne he wanted it to be “you and me reordering things together.” Cuz what he’s doing right now ain’t that.)

It’s not long before Rick and Morgan find the place and are immediately captured. And seeing them tied up in that bar, I was just like Rick, friend…what is you doing. Cuz he’s supposed to be in his room reading a letter right now but instead he’s tied up in a bar with some Saviors. #wildin

Plus I felt Rick also has to remember that him being out here in potentially life-threatening predicaments like this is going to greatly affect Michonne and Judith cuz he still have a family that needs him, and it would be devastating if they lost him so soon after losing Carl. But right now Rick can’t quite think pass the present.

I like how Rick wakes up so casually and asks how long he was out like he’s waking up from a nap tho. 😂 Homeboy is unbothered lol. Probably cuz he knows what he and Morgan are capable of.

So these Saviors are trying to decide what their next move is and the sniveling one, Jared, is very eager to get back and turn Rick in. Rick then starts to recall Alden’s words and he presents an offer for the Saviors to come back to Hilltop and join them. He then gives his word and repeats what he said in 8x03 about how a man’s word “still gotta mean something”. Except this time there does seem to be less sincerity in his delivery.

Jared’s not buying it and so then, y’all, I knew about Petty Rick but he was practically out-pettied by Morgan and I am here for Petty Morgan. 👏🏽👏🏽 His bold but casual honesty was great as he tells the Saviors; nah I’m def here to do what I have to do and kill all y’all. (And it’s funny cuz as Morgan starts really going off you can kind of see Rick look like he’s thinking “alright this might be too wild even for me” 😂)

Rick and Morgan warned these guys about a herd closing in and sure enough a swarm of walkers show up. Rick says “Thing is, we already killed you.” and I don’t know why it’s said exactly but what I do know is that means he did kind of sort of warn them about what he’s about to do lol.

They convince the Saviors that they’re too weak to take on this herd alone so some of the guys untie them. So then they’re all fending off this herd and a walker almost gets to Rick but then the Savior (that low key resembles early day Shane), takes out the walker before it can bite Rick, which makes it seem like he might be a real one.

But then things take a turn and get

Cuz Rick has the Saviors go in front of him and all Rick and Morgan have to do is just give each other a look like…

And that’s enough for both these OG’s to know what time it is and they proceed to take out all the Saviors.

Which my first reaction was like…

(Side note: That coat is undefeated, y’all.)

Now…I know this whole moment was controversial. And I have some thoughts on it lol. Cuz y’all the very first time I watched this I def felt like this was super cold of Rick and I felt like this was Rick dabbling way too far on the side of villainy. And with Rick having given his word I was like don’t tell me this show is trying to discredit Rick’s word, especially in the same episode he’s going to tell Michonne those words we’ve been waiting to hear.

But then, like I have to do with many things, I stopped and addressed the error of my thinking. And I realized that this actually isn’t as heinous as it seems. Don’t get me wrong it was savage and revealing of how Rick’s in a very shaky spot, but in my opinion it was also sort of necessary and doesn’t make him a monster.

So while seeing Rick and Morgan at their most ruthless was tough to chew on initially, I eventually came to the conclusion that…

The way I see it, it’s like a kidnapping situation where oftentimes when someone is kidnapped and restrained from fighting back physically, they often use their words to help them escape by getting into their captors head. They will tell their captor anything to be let go, even if it’s a false promise like swearing they won’t say anything if they can go or that they’ll give them whatever they want, etc. These are all untrue but they’re used as an effective defense mechanism and escape strategy.

And if it works and they’re able to escape and then they immediately break the promises they made, we’d understand that they had to give their word and then break it to survive. That’s what Rick had to do imo.

Cuz, while yes the Saviors untied them and even were working together to take out these walkers, the truth is there’s still not much of a legit reason to believe they can be trusted long term.

Rick and Morgan were of use to the Saviors at the time, who knows what they’d do to them when the walker issue was done. They are after all on opposing sides of this war and technically have more loyalty to Negan than Rick. So Rick doesn’t have much reason to think they would genuinely side with him and it’s dangerous to risk finding out.

So Rick and Morgan’s lives were still on the line and Rick did what he had to do, which in this case was say what he had to say. His whole spiel about letting them go back to Hilltop was never his word, it was his defense mechanism to break out of there. It’s not that he meant it and went back on it, he never meant it.

What was his true word tho? That he was going to kill those Saviors and well…he def kept his word. 👀💯

And, yes, the vengeful aspect of this from Rick is not healthy and it’s definitely not Rick’s shining moment when he kills the guy that just saved his life but at least for me I don’t think this turn of events means Rick isn’t the guy we thought he was and especially most of all this does not mean he’s comparable to Negan in the slightest. Those comparisons just will never add up to me. 🤦🏽‍♀️

The most suspect aspect of this on Rick’s part is that it’s just so opposite of what Carl wanted for him, but in the end he’s not a horrible person for telling a lie to survive his captors.

Plus doing all this allowed him to make it back to Michonne so...

So as Rick and Morgan are taking everybody out, I’m also here for Petty Morgan mean mugging Jared as he holds him to the gate, and then finally listens to Jared’s plea to let him go only once it’s too late. I was like…

Rick goes up to the guy who saved him and it’s interesting how similar the lighting is to the chapel scene where Rick spent his last moments with Carl.

There’s that same sort of light ray shining through and it’s ironic in a way cuz Rick promised to make it real for Carl but instead he’s just done the opposite of make it real, in the very same light.

Admittedly, the most cruel feeling part of this whole thing is when Rick just bold face looks at this guy and cuts him off to tell him, “I lied.” But I think what we’re seeing right now is the very dark space Rick could go to if he doesn’t stop himself.

It’s deep to hear the Savior say he didn’t lie about wanting to make things work and it definitely sparks a contrast. Then, the Savior tells Rick they could’ve lived after and Lincoln does a great job of showcasing the suppressed emotion Rick feels at this moment.

The subtle smugness is quickly replaced with the struggle to pull the trigger cuz he knows he’s not right in the head and that he’s doing what his woman said “moving to move away from it.” But he can’t get away from it.

Everywhere he goes, something or someone is reminding Rick of Carl’s dying wish in some way. And I bet it hits Rick that Carl was laying on the ground talking about this very thing of after and living together in peace. And that triggers Rick so he pulls the trigger.

And this to me is the beginning of the turning point for him that actually starts to snap him out of this dark spot for a moment to become aware of what he’s becoming.

Cuz as he stands around the bodies there’s definitely a sense that he’s gotten a big wake up call about how far he has strayed from Carl’s vision.

He’s slowly starting to sense that violence and wrath doesn’t solve the deeper pain and it isn’t the way to move forward.

Morgan walks by and casually takes out a body about to turn, still in Petty Morgan beast mode I think. And what’s interesting is he says, “Everybody turns” and that line starts to carry a lot of weight.

It means so much more than just everybody turns into walkers. It means everybody can turn from their old ways. In this world, everybody turns from their initial values and moral code at some point (especially after the loss of a child as we see in the cases of Rick, Morgan, Michonne and Carol in different parts of their journey)

But the thing is, yes everybody turns from who they are or were but just like you can turn dark, you can turn light again. You can turn back. 👌🏽 And in this following scene there really is a turning point for Rick where his eye are opened to how he has to turn things around.

Rick has a choice to continue on this dark path or be better and get better, not just for him but for his family and his people. So it’s significant that next we see Rick take a step towards that by reaching out to Morgan for an answer. And he gets just the answer he needs to realize which side he should choose.

He starts by telling Morgan how he saved him and he would have died without him, maybe even right in front of Morgan’s house. I love that these two get to make reference to the episode that started it all, 8 seasons later. Cuz they really were the two who drew us into this world.

What’s so meaningful about Rick bringing this up is that in the pilot Rick was to Morgan, what Siddiq was to Carl.

Rick was just a stranger at the time, but Morgan helped him like Carl took in Siddiq. So I think Rick is asking Morgan this right now because he’s trying to better understand Carl’s own thinking of helping the traveler by understanding why Morgan did that for him.

This is important cuz it’s Rick wanting to understand Carl’s side of things. So that right there let’s you know he’s not embracing the monster within, or at least he’s trying to fight it.

He reaches out to Morgan in hopes that it’ll help him see something that’s super difficult for him to see right now which is how to give people a chance again. He wants to be different and he’s essentially trying to gauge how by seeing why Morgan was able to do it for him, a stranger, all that time ago.

As Rick asks this, Morgan doesn’t want to talk about it and he just wants to go. Rick goes on to mention “Your son was there” and that’s when Morgan really wants to shut the conversation down cuz he still feels he’s not at a place to talk about Duane.

And this moment between them is so emotional because we were introduced to these two characters as fathers who would do anything for their sons and now they’ve both lost the very people they fought and lived for in the beginning. 😔

Rick continues to urge Morgan to just tell him why he saved him because reflecting on who they were before could help them understand how to try and be that again.

And, while Morgan’s not at a place to just fully pour his heart out about this, he does manage to give Rick an answer that’s pretty profound.

He explains that the reason he did it was, “Because my son was there”. Y’all. 😭😭

This is such a great response. The writing on this show has been suffering for a minute but that right there was spot on and really hit home to me. 👌🏽

It means so much. It’s so true that Morgan’s son gave him his humanity and then when he lost him, he lost all that humanity for a long while. And Rick has the potential to be in a similar spot cuz Carl was that instrumental to him as well. And you can tell that when Rick hears this he knows it too.

He knows it’s his son who kept him going for so long, especially before their family expanded, and so there’s a certain added somberness to this response cuz the very thing that motivated him is no longer with him.

But unlike Morgan who no longer has Duane to guide him to good, Rick still does have one more opportunity for Carl specifically to guide him to good; the letter.

So I think this is where Rick knows it’s time to read the letter. He needs his son’s guidance if he’s going to maintain his humanity, a humanity we saw jeopardized in this savior massacre (although, again, when you’re captured by the opposing side sometimes you have to finesse a situation)

(Side note: Speaking of finessing, that whole Jadis and Negan storyline was just a mess imo. Negan getting access to the guns and photos had me really wondering if he was a looney tunes character. And the fact that Jadis freed him and let him finesse her on her own turf with a brief bit of his backstory really had me like...

And also how is Negan going to see a helicopter and just casually be like; hey maybe we can chat about that one day?)

But I think the other saving grace that proves hope isn’t lost, is that Rick still has someone who Carl absolutely lives on through. Michonne and Carl had such an impact on each other and she represents so much of the good of Carl so through her and through Carl’s final words in the letter Rick can find his way back to the light.

Rick is a good man and a lot of what kept him that way was the motivation of his son, and without him that good complex got a little skewed, but deep down Rick still is good and wants to be good. So he knows something has got to give.

But the main reason I see this moment as Richonne related is because a big reason Rick let Michonne in, way back in season 3 is because his son was there. 😭

Like of course there was also an innate connection that Rick and Michonne seemed to have from the jump, but Rick was so entranced at that first meeting at the fence that it wasn’t until Carl spoke about helping her that Rick ran and brought her in. His son was taking in that moment similar to Duane in the pilot.

And then in the more personal sense of letting her in, it was also because his son was there to tell him Michonne is one of them that helped Rick feel more free to let Michonne further into his heart. 😊

And that decision to let her in changed his whole life for the better. Like she really did make life 1000x better for him. So if anything, that’s a telling reason of why sometimes letting people in works out and he should follow his son’s guidance, cuz Carl has shown him the way before and he can show him the way now too.

They end the scene with Rick in the broken mirror cuz, a little heavy handedly, it’s the broken man in the mirror.

But it still speaks to something important because Rick’s been broken and it’s led him to go and act in the very way Carl didn’t want him to, so the mirror is this symbol of him having to face his issues head on and see more clearly that this isn’t the way.

So as Rick faces the man in the broken mirror he knows he’s at a crossroads with a crucial decision to make. Continue on as this cold blooded killer and lose his mind and have Carl’s death cripple him with insanity or turn to Carl through his letter to lead the way and make him a better man once more. 👌🏽

(Side note: I’m glad they didn’t have him look in the mirror cuz then I would have got some SNL “Californians” vibes lol 😂)

It’s really significant that 8x14 highlights the four characters who lost kids and that in this episode they each get to make reference to their kids and the way it changed them, because I think Carol, Michonne, and Morgan’s journeys after losing kids are meant to all represent paths Rick can choose to take having just recently joined this club.

He can be like Morgan and fall into a very fragile state of mind where he has unstable episodes and is never able to talk about it much.

Or he can be like Carol and, as she says later in her words, “become nothing for a long while” only to emerge a strong fighter who also pushes the people close away and convinces herself that she has to be isolated. (Which side note: I’m proud of Carol that she was able to make some breakthroughs this episode in letting people in again)

Or he can be like Michonne who went to a very dark space like he’s gone to and then worked to put all this “moving to move away from it” behind her to face her demons and get to a point of healing and opening her heart to the love that was there for her.

I think it’s clear which road he should take. And luckily the woman, who fought to overcome that shut down state she was once in, is willing and ready to walk this path of healing with him.😌

So this moment with Morgan is not only one of the best scenes of the season to me, but it is also the turning point for Rick. This is where he makes a decision on who he needs to be. 💯

Rick is not going to keep being this dark vengeful bloodthirsty guy, because he made a promise to Carl that he’s going to fight to keep. And he’s going to fight to keep this promise cuz, at his core, Rick is a man of his word. 👌🏽😌

And he has three very special words to say in this next moment. Amen. 😋🙌🏾😋🙌🏾😋🙌🏾😋🙌🏾🏾😋🙌

gif sources: michonnegrimes andy-clutterbuck likeafantasy dailytwd carlschandler

#richonne #richonne fandom #richonne family #michonne #rick grimes #morgan #s8 #8x14 #thanks for reading!#(and scrolling)

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literallyprentissstwin · 6 years ago

Photo

Week 10: Monday, July 16th to Monday, July 23th 2018

bonjour & welcome to this new reading list which is already the tenth one wooow. i´m really really sorry for the delay and i almost couldn´t post it today, but i managed to do so bc i needed distraction.

so as always, i collected some of my fav fics :) please leave some love to the authors & give them feedback!

enjoy!

aileen xx

1 - Big God by @lotus--writings

oook wow. the angst was real. it had me shook. but it´s so good. it´s very well written and i loved reading it a lot. interesting plot as well! xx

2 - I Want to Tell You part 3 (Spencer Reid x Reader) by @spencerreidreads this story is really good and the perfect mix of everything. the end aka the convo with PG had me in tears. ooo and spence should finally make a move. well done xx

3 - Take Care of Yourself by @dontshootmespence

ok, first of all: i never heard of stomach migraine before but they sound suck-y. spence is so caring and soft. i love him a lot. and i loved this fic xx

4 - Caught Up in the Moment (Spencer Reid x Reader) by @a-bau-tiful-mind

oooh god, this was perfect and the end was kind of unexpected. also, i can relate to that part about barnes lol. i love the team and spence and Y/N are cute af. great work xx

5 - What Does This Mean? by @spencer-is-too-perfect

this is a reminder to myself to actually reread this story bc i only had the chance to slightly skim (?) it and i feel really really bad about this, but what i read about it so far sound SO GOOD. reid is just amazing. i def need to catch up on the whole story.

6 - Infiltrated: Epilogue by @stunudo

i´m actually so sad that this series is over bc it is so so good. you´re so freaking talented. i loved this epilogue a lot. i love and miss Hotch. i´m def gonna reread this series as often as i can and i can just highly recommend it. great work xx

7 - A Place to Call Home by @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars

yes, my fav luke writer is back. i´ve missed u heaps. this story was a blessing. i love me some overprotective luke & i love that you integrated a men talk between Luke and Will. i think they have good friendship potentio (@ cm writers!!). this whole thing is perfect. i´m in love.

8 - Article of Faith: Chapter 21, Chapter 22 by @dontshootmespence

i seriously can never get enough of this series. it´s just so good and so different (good different!!!). it´s a masterpiece. also i´m living for this relationship billie and spence have. but i´m also curious to see what matt finds out. literally can´t wait for more.

9 - Pancakes by @ionlyreadfivebookslastweek

the beginning actually kind of broke my heart. like i felt so so bad. but i´m so happy everything turned out well in the end. yey for happy endings!

10 - Redamancy: Pt. 10, Pt. 11, Pt. 12 by @xocriminal-minds-imaginesxo

i´m so in LOVE with this istg. this series is life and i´m so happy that i came across it. i really don´t have enough words for it. all the plots each parts have are so different and good and cover all emotions. it´s perfect. great job xx

11 - What Do I Do? by @gabriellewritermua

i had the privilege to preread this story and i liked it from the very first second. it´s very well written and i loved the plot and the way the characters are written. well done! xx

12 - First Time Out by @dontshootmespence

ok seriously??? how are people so creative with requests? like teach me? this was so good and had me at the edge of my seat. a lot of suspense, my favv child Jack and a protective hotch. i mean can it get any better? i don´t think so. well done, nicole xx

13 - I Will: Pt. 4, Pt.5 (Final) by @xocriminal-minds-imaginesxo

again, another reminder to myself yall. i just discovered this multiparter and i really need to start at the beginning bc these two parts here got me hooked and i def need to check out all the previous parts yup. i love me some angst.

14 - Tie My Heartstrings (Derek Morgan x Reader) by @spencerreidreads

this story right here is an entry to my challenge, thank you for participating. :) yey, a derek morgan fic. my heart is already happy. but DEREK BOI WHAT ARE U DOING? like ugh, can i smack u? but then again, the ending was so cute i´m in love :)

15 - Smooth as a Bump in the Road by @dontshootmespence

this was hilarious. i love spence so so much. he´s just so cute and i could hug him all day long. also, i miss his and derek´s friendship so much on the show. great work xx

16 - The Best Job in the World - BAU x Reader by @curlsincriminology

i loved everything about this story. EVERYTHING. i also loved JJ in this story like a whole lot, this little legend. perfect! well done x

17 - Talent >> Derek Morgan by @eideticreid

woowza, another morgan fic. DAY MADE! this one was really good and the plot was really creative. you´re writing is so good, i´m jealous.

18 - Sweet Lullaby by @tenaciousarcadeexpert

aww, this one was soo soo soo cute. i def need to see more of matt and his family. this fic gave me life :)

19 - the hardest goodbye´s are the ones we never get to say by @holoitsmeagaintoo

this fic is also an entry to my challenge & also to you, thanks for participating :) so so so good. i loved it so much. it´s a really good way to integrate the prompt and the angst was there, i could feel it. well done xx

20 - Just Us Now - Spencer Reid by @bookofreid

oh god, Dad!Reid. ily. tho this plot was so so sad :( but i love their dynamic and now i want the writers to give this man a damn child.

21 - Similar by @spncmshsvu

okay, wow...wow. this was heavy angst, but i loved reading it. like holy cow, i don´t know what else to say except that i´m speechless and that this story was really well done and that you´re super talented.

22 - Movie Night by @xocriminal-minds-imaginesxo

another reminder to myself yey. this story seem to be pretty awesome and i´m sorry i hadn´t have time to really read it. so consider this a reminder to myself for reading it asap. i bet it´s great :)

23 - rubix. by @uncomfie

yes, my fav derek morgan writer on earth is back. this is pure perfection. seriously, how are you so talented? i loved it a lot but you probably could already guess so. ilysm <3

24 - I´m Still Scared by @dontshootmespence

this had me at the edge of my seat. also, my fav genius worries too much. the middle of the fic was quite a shocker but i´m super happy that everything ended up being good.

25 - Graduate With The Truth II Spencer Reid by @alittlelessthanacirclefics

i´m in love omg. emma and spence are perfect omg. also the end!!!! i´m in love...great work! xx

26 - She´s a secret by @docspencerreid

another entry for my challenge! thank you for participating! omg this plottwist was so unexpected like seriously. the angst is real. this was so good well done. the end had me shook. maybe do a part two?

27 - Morality Above All by @dontshootmespence

ok seriously? please tell me that this isn´t stilla topic today, bc if so, i have no words. JJ was super badass and i miss hers and hotchs dynamic so much. really good story and very well written!

28 - Roles Reversed by @ionlyreadfivebookslastweek

this was funny bc i never expected derek morgan to ask spencer reid for relationship advice. this was everyting.

29 - Cold Nights by @xocriminal-minds-imaginesxo

a derek morgan fic, i´m in love. he is so underrated. and this story was so good and i loved it with all my stone cold heart!

30 - Even You Can´t Save Everyone by @stunudo

yey, another entry for my challenge! thanks for participating! but why don´t you just stab me in my face? like really. first of all. thanks again for participationg. i´m glad you were a part of this, bc tbh you´re one of my inspo´s on here. beyond that, this fic was perfect. the angst. i feel blessed. well done.

31 - Familiar Strangers by @illegalcerebral

idk why but tumblr is still being a d** when it comes to those parts of this series. like i was damn sure i saw it in my notes, but it is gone AGAIN: @ tumblr: please fix yourself. so as a matter of fact that i need a lot of catching up bc this series deserves the world and i need to read this bc ELLE <333333 i tagged the whole masterlist so i can reread everything. guys, please read this fic! it´s amazing!

32 - Second Chance: Part 6 by @docspencerreid

and another remind to me, bc i need to catch up on a lot of parts of this story. but nevertheless it deserves a spot on here. go check it out and give her some feedback bc this story is great!

so this was last weeks reading list. i really hope you liked it. don´t forget to leave some love and feedback to the authors. see you all next sunday :) (hopefully)

#aileen´s reading list #week 10 #spread positivity #fandom #love #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #too much talent on this list

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memoriesthatkeepyounear · 6 years ago

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150 Random Questions

1.) What’s better, having high expectations or having low expectations?

Low lmao

2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year?

junk food

3.) Describe your perfect man/woman.

Tall, funny, weird, silly,serious,optimistic,driven,adventuous, list goes on

4.) Thoughts on school dress codes?

they’re honestly stupid and degrading but some are necessary

5.)Any strange phobias?

Not that i can think of

6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit?

6 feet underground

7.) Who was your first crush?

NIck Jonas lmao

8.) Who was your first best friend?

Girl named Morgan don’t remember her last name.

9.)What is one weird thing about you?

I hate when I have an uneven amount of tattoos.

10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch?

11.) What are your favorite boys names? Degrassi, Greys Anatomy,TVD,Black Mirror

12.) What are your favorite girls names? Marley,Tasha idk i dont really have any lol

13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? Yes, there’s too many to name each one lmao

14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get as of the moment? yes many mor, next one is an alien head with a space ship and UFO.

15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more? i mean just my ears and eh maybe

16.) Do you like hugging people?

eh i could live without hugs tbh lol

17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now. Who did you think of? you don’t want to know (CB)

18.) Do you have an iPhone? yes iphone 8 plus

19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now? losing one of my jobs lmao

20.) Do you watch anime? no

21.) What brings true happiness? music,traveling,friends,concerts.

22.) What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever paid for? honestly, i dont know i dont remember

23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why? tour manager or selling merch for a band

24.) Do you want children? If so, how many? honestly no but if i had to have children probably 1 or 2

25.) Name and describe someone who you feel most comfortable around. I’ll just name them, Pape, Chase, Michele, Destany,Chris, Zion, Mary,Tori, Alyssa

26.)If you could invent a holiday, what would it be? Corbyn Besson Day just because LMAO

27.)Would you rather have summer weather or winter weather all year round? This isn’t a choice but spring weather

28.) If you could make an alien race, describe what they would look like. they would look like an alien racing, obviously.

29.) What was the first thing you learned to cook? Grilled Cheese

30.) Describe your sense of humor. I’m funny as fuuuuck. I’ll send memes, stupid random shit i can think if, anything.

31.) What is the key to happiness? Surrounding yourself with positivity, and trying to find the positive out of anything negative that happens. Not worrying what other people think of you except yourself. Surrounding yourself with good people

32.) How many phone numbers do you have committed to memory? Whose numbers are they? One of my sisters, both my parents, thats about it lmao

33.) Name three songs that make you want to dance. Dazed adn Confused-Jake Miller, Mojo-Round2Crew,something different-wdw

34.) What job did you want to have as a child? Vet Technician

35.) Do you have any talents or skills? My talent is getting all the rings in the ring game on toontown

36.) What was the worst punishment you’ve ever had? I got grounded for a month-dont remember what i did tho

37.) Did you ever do anything weird as a child? Oh im sure i did.

38.) What is your dream car? a car that doesn’t break down

39.) Describe something that made you laugh this week. probably something corbyn did or sue or my friends

40.) Did you have a dream last night? If so, describe it. Yes and i”d rather not lmao

41.) Do you ever have repetitive dreams? Describe it/them. oh yes and u don’t want to hear that either

42.) Describe the worst/ scariest dream you’ve ever had. I’ll always remember this--I was younger maybe like 11 and it was that my dad went psychotic and my sisters and her friends snuck outside and tried to get away but he found us, threw us in his car and had my neighbors at the time help him kill us idk bro it was wild. thats the short version.

43.) Describe the best dream you’ve ever had. there’s so many and no thank you

44.) If God himself gave you a choice of either having unlimited money for the rest of your life or finding your one true love starting tomorrow, which one would you choose (keep in mind, you are still able to make a ton of money if you choose love, and you are still able to meet your soul mate if you choose money)? probably finding my one true love-thats worth more than any amount of money

45.) If you could do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) right now without consequences, what would you do and why? honestly i dont know

46.) Do you have any recipes that you know off the top of your head? What is it/ what are they? yes, how to make whipped cream lmao

47.) Do you have your license? If so, do you have a car? no

48.) Have you ever had a near death experience? yes

49.) Do you personally know anyone that has been to prison? yes

50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight?

yes.

51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair? depends, if im not leaving the house i towel dry and then air dry but if i have to look good i blow dry.

52.) When you go to the movies, what snacks and drinks do you take with you? candy, popcorn, soda or an icee

53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why? i like goigng to the beach adn going in the water, i hate sand

54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

sometimes.

55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you have? reading minds.

56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (i’m talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die? in this moment tomorrow lmao

57.) What do you think happens after you die? the light you go into is really the light when ur leaving the womb and your soul goes into a baby just beig born

58.) Do you believe in aliens? yes

59.) Do you believe in ghosts? yes

60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world? yes

61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you make?

i dont know

62.) Do you get tan, or do you burn? the first time i tan, i burn the rest of the time i tan

63.) Describe your shower routine. I get in, shampoo, shave, rinse, conditioner, exfoliate sometimes, and body wash then rise hair and get out

64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not? Im not in school

65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die? struggling

66.) Do you get carsick, sea sick, or airplane sickness? no

67.) What’s one memory that you wish you could live again and again? probs seeing one direction lmao i miss them

68.) What were some of your stuffed animal’s names from when you were a kid? scraper-he was a dog i still have him

69.)Do you have any pets? no

70.) Describe your daily wardrobe. homeless

71.) Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich. beautiful,with the trends

72.) Create a character right now. Give them a name, age, and character description. Jessica Arkansas from Ohio, 22, makes youtube videos, fun when drunk,funny,works alot, drinks alot, smokes weed sometimes, love making people happy.

73.)What was the last thing you bought? Aromatherapy sleep lotion and shower gel from bath and body works.

74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What band was it for? uh yes I have many CDs, jonas brothers

75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. the traditional one

76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do? make corbyn besson fall in love with me

77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do? hiking, walking, going ton the gym

78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child? Dragon tales, The Amanda show, hannah montana, thats so raven, wizards of waverly place, jonas,little bear, oswald. theres much more

79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse. I wouldn’t

80.)What are some things you shouldn’t say at work? anything unprofessional

81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it? depends who the person im killig is (if its ****** or ********* then absolutely)

82.) How’s the weather right now? cold

83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now? its flowers that gnash tweeted one time when he released the broken hearts club

84.)Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well? a job you love.

85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed? my stuffed giraffes.

86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why? no

87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what? yes many, for soccer

88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they? I have 1 poster and its corbyn and then i gave 2 2019 calendars one is jake millers and the other is a friends tv show one and i have hats on tacs hanging, poloroid pictures and a giant s for my name

89.) Are you afraid of the dark? If so, why? yes, because the dark is mf scary

90.)What is something that you’ve never done but would like to try? sky diving or parasailing

91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why? wdw bc why not and they cool, the cast of friends because they are me and i love them, niall horan bc hes the loml

92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street? sometimes

93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it? no

94.) Do you like your handwriting? no

95.) Cable TV or Netflix? netflix

96.) What are your favorite smells? beautiful day from bbw

97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong? no im a weak ass bitch

98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not.

oh there are mnay times im a bitch

99.) Do you ask strangers to pet their dogs? yes

100.)What is your most embarrassing moment?

wasn’t even my fault but when a group of drunk girls mauled me down a flight of stairs in front of people and DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE LMAO also whe I tripped at my high school graduaton going to get my diploma.

101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it?

yes, my uncle and i did not handle it well.

102.) Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house.

Lock myself in a room and call 911 or fight them lmao

103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female?

probs male

104.) What shampoo do you use?

the cheapest one i can find

105.) Guess the meaning of this word: ulotrichous.

I dont even know where to start lmao definitely a phobia for something maybe

106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc…) build up, or do you have to look at them right away?

texts i let build but everythig else i dont

107.) Where is the nearest McDonalds to your house?

on the other side of town like 5 mins away

108.) If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on?

makeup, concerts tickets, plane tickets, clothes, alcohol,food.

109.) What is the best thing you’ve ever eaten?

pasta for sure

110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring (they can be people you know personally or famous people).

Michele, Zion, thats about it lmao

111.) What expletive/ explicit phrase do you say most often?

fuck off i guess

112.) What is your personal definition of success?

happy with yourself, your job, your life as a whole

113.) How was your day today?

it was good, tiring.

114.) What is the closest Big City you live by?

hartford or probably new york

115.) Have you ever been in a car accident?

116.) Do you hide anything from your parents?

yes

117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do?

sing or dance.

118.) Ugly and smart or beautiful and stupid?

ufgly and smart

119.) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in real life?

i dont know

120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go.

happy, imperfectly perfect and promising.

121.) QUICK! give me a few things a brick could be useful for

hitting myself in the head

122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be?

somewhere warm, my friends/favorite artists, no negativity, everything is free, the artists who live there HAVE to perform every other weekend.

123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why?

giraffes so in can have one as a pet,

124.) What are your favorite candle scents?

salted caramel, flannel, vanilla bean noel, champagne toast, hot cocoa and cream,endless weekend

125.) If you HAD to have one plastic surgery, what would you get and why?

something to make me skinnier

126.) Do you prefer to hang out with the same sex or the opposite sex?

opposite--less drama.

127.) If you could make a charity, what would the profits go towards? How would you raise money for it?

animals,homeless people, children

128.) Describe the body you wish you had.

just a flatter stomach and thinner thighs

129.) If you were a famous director, what would your next movie be about? Describe the plot, characters, and possible title.

probs a romcom or a romance movie--to tired to make a plot

130.) If only women were to rule the world, how different would the world be by 2050?

very probably better tho

131.) What is your favorite alcoholic drink?

jack and coke.

132.) Do you have a problematic friend?

doesn;t everyone?

133.) Are you more spontaneous or more of a planner?

spontaneous

134.) If you could change your full name, what would your name be?

idk

135.) What is one song that describes your life?

probably wait for you by jake miller or invisible by anna clendending

136.) What is one show you’ve been meaning to watch but can never find the time for?

all of the ones in my list

137.) Do you find it easy to drop toxic people from your life that you’ve known for a long time?

yes

138.) Do you like children? Why or why not?

yes bc they’re cute af and funny and honest

139.) What is your zodiac sign?

pisces

140.) Do you like to dance? Do you dance often? In front of other people?

when im drunk

141.) Name some of your favorite colors.

blue

142.) Have you ever shoplifted? If so, what was it?

yes random stuff from walmart lmao

143.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be?

spanish, italian and french

144.) Have you ever been in legal trouble?

145.) Have you ever had surgery?

yes twice.

146.) If you could change 2 things about yourself, what would you change and why?

my body and my face bc uglyand fat

147.) What do you want done with your body after you die?

cremated

148.) What three physical features do people compliment you most on? What do they say about them?

my hair, eyes and outfit sometimes.

149.) If you could have your own business, what would you do?

something that requires me to travel

150.) What current friend do you have that you’ve known the longest?

Angelica--known her before we were born

#questions #aboutme #gettoknowme #followme #follow #150questions #questions tag

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fics-not-tragedies · 5 years ago

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Is forever for you?

I’m finally yet at dead slow pace getting through all of the requests I got and I’m trying to write them in the rightful order (which means in the order they were sent), but it’s quite hard since the ideas are flowing the opposite way 🤷‍♀️ This is a fic requested by a lovely anon (I’m sorry it’s that short tho).

SUMMARY: You and Keanu are together for a long time, but due to your non matching schedules you feel like you’re growing apart. Words: 995; Warnings: none;

Readers tag list:

@spookier-than-u; @sparrowsparrow; @oreofenyloetyloamina; @mikaneonox; @derangedcupcake; @geostarr; @catsmieow; @wickedlangdon; @bodhi-black; @bugalouie; @onebatch--twobatch; @fandom-lover-4; @drunkonyellow; @semtempoirmaoo; @spadesandaces2342; @harrisongslimited; @a--1--1--3; @hhighkey; @lunilate; @i-cant-remember-my-old-login; @sgt-morgan; @coloursunlimited; @childrenofthegun; @weminiaturestrawberry; @silverlambcaptain;

The whole day was overwhelming. You ate dinner alone, exhausted, thinking about crawling onto your bed and having a decent amount of sleep. When you did so and were on the verge of finally falling asleep, you could feel Keanu laying right next to you.

His slid his hand under the duvet, his fingertips grazing your hip, then he moved it between your legs, so you turned to his side, “You can’t be serious with it, right now....” your raised your eyebrows, looking at Keanu in disbelief. This was difficult.

“Darling, I need you...” he sounded desperate.

You sighed loudly, feeling a tug on your heart. You hadn’t confronted him yet about all of your worries, because he was always out. Always busy with working, busy with everything except for you. Even though you were living in the same house for ages now it felt like you lived to separate lives and your paths crossed their ways only in the bed you still shared.

“Darling?” he whispered.

“I’m absolutely exhausted and now, after like… a month I think? Yes, after a month you’re suddenly in a mood for doing anything.”

All you wanted now was him to change something, but it seemed like he was too consumed with his work, too focused on acting and not enough on living his day to day life with you. You tried, you figured him out. There was nothing that could change the way he lived.

“Keanu, I’m really sorry. We’ve been … you know, I don’t even know what we’ve been doing recently. And that’s okay. I don’t want to change you, I know how making movies is important for you, so I don’t want to give you an ultimatum.”

“I … I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, darling…” he assured you, his eyes fixed on your face.

You looked down, wrinkling the edge of the duvet, “It’s not your fault… I just feel like we’re growing apart with every single day that passes by. We live in the same house, yet we only met in the bed. That’s not how being together works… that’s not how love works.”

The look in his eyes made your knees weak when you looked up at him. You swallowed. There was something in them that made your heart ache, like a fist was clenching around it.

“Does that mean you want to … leave…” he said quietly. There were tears glistening in his eyes and you felt bad for picking up the subject.

“Should I?” you asked him, feeling quite bitter now. You hadn’t thought you would talk with him about everything tonight, but since the conversation started you had to get through it.

“I-I haven’t had the time to think about that you could feel like that...”

You cut him off, “And that’s just it, baby…” you spoke softly, the pet name slipped out of your mouth, “What I mean is… that you haven’t had the time… it just speaks for itself.”

Keanu went silent and you sat up a little, looking at him, waiting for an answer. He was thinking about something, his forehead scrunched, eyes looking somewhere distant.

The lack of words spoken, the disappointment mixed with the sadness on his face were too much and you tried to think about something happy, moments you two cherished, memories of time spent together.

All you want is to get back to those early years of dates, long walks on the beach and time well spent together.

Silence was killing you, so you just hopped out of the bed and wrapped yourself in the fluffy robe that was placed on the chair next to your dresser.

“Come back to bed, please…” he plead weakly, patting the empty space right beside him.

You shrugged silently, wrapping the robe tighter around your own self. Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes for a moment, thinking about what you should to next.

“Darling please...” he whispered and you opened your eyes, looking up into his, beautiful yet tired face. “I’m so sorry darling...” he whispered, gently caressing your face, “I know I’m working too much… I know I’ve been putting you aside for the last few months...”

“You did...” you breathed out, swallowing and moving closer, your eyes never leaving his face, “And you know I hate it. I hate how things are. I thought we could work through anything...”

He swallowed hard, cupping your face into his hands, “Darling I know we can...” he said softly, “I … I really want to fix it, to focus more on you. I need a break from work, let’s take some vacation… go someplace nice together, I want to spend every minute by your side, just like in the old days… please, don’t give up on us.”

You shook your head sighing, “I’m not giving up on you… you know I couldn’t. You’re my whole world baby. I just want to know that we’re still into it after all of those years that have passed.”

He nodded once, then again and again “I want to spend my forever with you” And with those words said the old familiarity was back instantly and all your worries disappeared. He always could do that for you, always made you feel so safe and loved. He was your everything, your safe haven you loved to come back to after every long day.

Maybe those last months were hard to the both of you, to your relationship, but you knew he would make it up to you, make everything better.

“Me too” you whispered, brushing your fingers through his hair, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tightly, relaxing when his arms got tangled around your waist. Keanu smelled like soap and his aftershave and you melted into the embrace, feeling like nothing else mattered now. As long as you had him, as long as you were a team, nothing could be quite so bad.

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fictionxlover · 7 years ago

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GH Theories

Here are a few theories I have about this whole Jasoning situation. I honestly feel like I am watching D & D game of thrones and I am coming up with theories to try to make sense of it all and really in canon it's not gonna be any of these theories and will make 0 fucking sense.

1) Steve is Jason and they are giving the audience red herrings to throw them off. Now I have seen people who say Steve could be Nik. I can see why some think this: patient 6 reacted weirdly to Ava saying “Nik”, Valentin blood fell on Nik’s name. First, I just got say Steve coming back to play Nik makes no goddamn sense. I can see Steve being a different character but Nik? Nik having Steve’s face? What? Does this mean Sam and other characters would feel semi-attractive to Nik cuz he had Steve’s face? I am being dead serious too, Y'all. People think people would be mad if Steve is Jason (which from what I have seen only Killy Nujasam fans r mad @ that) but if Steve is Nik...soap twitter gonna be on fire. Also, someone mentioned how Mo said Kelly is working with Billy AND Steve a lot...so idk why she would work with Steve a lot if he is Nik. Except they gonna try to do some incestuous shit but this is not HBO.

Going back to red herrings. The Nik stuff seems most likely like red herrings imo. Valentin blood drops on Nik’s name. Well...that could be symbolic? You know the themes with Cassadines are curses. What if by murdering Nik then after trying to be victim Valentin is cursed? Nik’s death will always haunt him and will get in the way with what he wants which is having a happy life with Nina and Charlotte. Then we have patient 6 reacting weirdly to name Nik Cassadine. Well, you can say its Nik, he knew Ava! But you also have to think well...Jason knew Nik...he was Emily’s love...also...Cassadines have had patient 6 all this time...then there is, of course, this tells this patient that Ava is from PC...so he could use her or work with her in the future.

Lastly, for this theory is that patient 6 acts like Jason and we can not ignore the mentions we get from other characters about old vs new Jason. Patient 6 is very quiet but you know he is listening. He moves his hands a bit to communicate as well. Also, he looks outside a lot, showing that he wants to escape this prison. One hint that this patient could be Jason is that once Ava says she wouldn’t want to be a vegetable and stuck in this prison, he curls up his hand in a ball. Which shows anger and frustration. Before this scene, Carly was just talking about old Jason and how he would want the plug pulled and would hate being like this (which we all know is true). Then the biggest one from the recent episode was Carly talking about how she lost Jason and their connection. That even tho she had formed this connection with this new Jason that it's not the same and she still grieves the friendship she had with Jason before he “died” then next scene is Steve slowly taking off his glasses and we see his blue eyes.

Listen, you could argue that what I am saying is wrong and they are tricking us but I am sorry I can’t ignore them saying over 5x a week how Jason is SO DIFFERENT FROM WHO HE WAS. Why say that? We already know that. The audience already knows that Billy!Jason is very different from old Jason so why are we rehashing this? Are they preparing us to see Jason be more different and live a different life with Sam? I can’t even trust that cuz they failed us before. We could have been seeing Jason with Curtis and other characters on the canvas but instead, they decided to do the Sonny/Jason/Sam/Carly squad everyone is sick of seeing. I also don’t get why they keep mentioning Sam’s connection with Jason. Recently, she has had this dream about Jason but she can not see his face??? That is fucking odd. You can say Billy was on vaca but still super weird??? You don’t have to agree with this theory but this is my top one so far.

This theory might make some mad but I just have to say this...do you really think the writers care if they do twin thing and mess up what Jasam has built for 3 years? Look what they have done to our characters? The choices they have made. Do you think they have been consistent with GH history? No. I know a lot like the nujasam ship but if they don’t care about old gh history and our multidimensional fav characters...why would they care about ruining what nujasam built for 3 years?

2) Steve is Jason’s twin brother So, basically, they are fucking with us and Steve is really Jason’s twin brother but also is connected to Franco. It could also be he is very dangerous and Helena/Cassadine's fucked him up somehow.

3) Steve is Franco’s twin brother.

Again, they are fucking with us. We have to think about Franco’s obsession and why he got obsessed with Jason. What if Steve is really Franco’s twin brother but he is just like a Jason 2.0? However, he is more dangerous or a character who is morally gray or even evil. They could do that to us. I do wonder why Sam would have a lot of scenes with Franco twin brother tho...but if you think about this, this man has her husbands old face. It will spark a lot of old memories. It's possible Sam and other characters can’t help to gravitate toward Steve character cuz he has OG Jason face. I got say IF this theory is true, kinda feel bad for Franco. His twin brother pops up and has Jason’s old face. You know how Liz is and omg what if he gets a redemption arc y’all. XD

4) A host on Afterbuzz tv GH said this. What if Franco, Jason, Billy!Jason are triplets. Honestly, I would lmao, however, I would not care that much. I do not want Franco to be a Quartermaine but...I can’t lose the Jason/Alan connection so if we got do it...just do it...I guess...I will take Jason and Billy being Q’s even tho I have to deal with Franco being a Quartermaine and prob coming in randomly like he use to do and trying to be like I want what I was supposed to have along and blah.

5) Steve is Jason but he is brainwashed to think he is Nik.

This is actually an interesting one someone on twitter came up with. If he and Billy are twins and Helena is behind this (WHICH COME ON Y’ALL WE KNOW SHE IS! SHE CURSED SAM! SHE WOULD DO THIS TO SAM) she would actually do to real Jason what she did to Jake Doe. She brainwashed him to do her dirty work then was like your Jake Doe but I guess also put Jason Morgan memories in him. Deceiving him again. Making him think he is this other man. I know people will be like this makes 0 sense but you got to remember that Jason didn’t delve deep in what he remembered. Yeah, he shared some memories with Sam, Carly, Sonny, Michael...but those are known memories...memories people prob know about Jason...like...it sounds crazy and like a conspiracy theory but...you never know.

So, going back to if Steve is Jason this means he is super fucked up and thinks he is Nik. That is why he reacted to Ava. He will prob go back to PC and be like I am Nik and everyone will be like WTF HE HAS JASON’S FACE. Which now could make sense why Kelly is having a lot of scenes with Billy and Steve. Sam will totally be on this case and Billy will be on the case too with Curtis trying to see what the fuck is going on but what they find out will change everything most likely…

Also, this means that Steve might make a connection with Ava and other characters IF he believes that he is Nik. Could Steve and Ava hook up? Probably.

6) Someone said that Frank said that no one has guessed this SL right yet...which means this shit is going to go past Steve is just Jason or they twins bs. It's gonna be some crazy messy SL.

That is what I have so far. If someone has anything different, share with me. I am also just throwing ideas out there too cuz I feel like I have an idea and my brain is going towards 1) but I don’t trust these writers...

#general hospital #jasoning #steve burton #gh theories #jason morgan

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