#…maybe i should anyway🤔
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twissy in da 80s i think i hauve covid
#doctor who#twelfth doctor#missy#twissy#thoschei#my art#i love having free will i can just draw this shit :DDDD#was gonna be a series of them thru the decades whilst they were stuck at the uni#but i honestly dont think i can top this one#will consider it tho if ppl are interested 🤔#but anyway. obviously punk 12 does things to me but i didnt expect to be so in love w trad goth missy#i should just make ocs maybe.#realistically 12 would have more of a new wavey style maybe but im literally dykepaldi come on
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new inky just dropped ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Her name is Lorraine, she's an innovator and reformer, a science wizard enchanter with an interest in inventing new practical ways of applying magic for everyday use to "serve man". A devoted andrastian with some religious trauma (tm) who thinks the circle institution under the chantry is outdated and needs to be changed.
She's reserved, observant, analytical, can be a bit awkward. Has trust issues, and forming relationships doesn't come easy for her, especially with non-mages. Kind of an "aloof, autistic scientist who can appear rude but is determined to improve the world with their inventions" archetype.
More ramblings under the cut 👇🏻
• Lorraine's fam were extremely pro-templar and raised their kids to be devout to the chantry. Magic was considered a dangerous burden, something to be hidden and kept away from regular people, so Lori has some internalised shame due to being a mage. Though she eventually does come to a realisation that her parents' views were unjust and that she shouldn't feel this way, and that her magic is a gift rather than a disgrace. Still, she does her best to put her magic to good use and invent new ways of aiding people through it, in part as a way to prove herself to the world. She believes mages should be allowed to contribute more to society, have professions and hobbies and more safe spaces to experiment with their gift.
• Before discovering her love for academic study and experiments, Lorraine wanted to be a templar. As the youngest child in her family with close ties to the chantry, she couldn't think of anything more fitting as she didn't want to be a cleric, and the idea of being a knight in shiny armour was compelling for a kid. Her magic manifested when she was 11 years old in the dead of the night when the estate was sound asleep. Waking up from a nightmare, she found herself surrounded by fire. She doesn't have much memory from what happened that night, only that she was dragged away by the templars from her home.
• The fire she caused was devastating to the estate, and Lorraine's parents and siblings didn't survive the night. She knows this, but due to the trauma caused suppressed her memories about what really happened. For many years being stuck in the circle she believed her family were so disappointed with her being a mage that they completely turned away from her, refusing to even write letters. That grew some serious resentment and shame inside of her. Her then mentor, Lydia, decided to spare the child more suffering and encouraged her delusions.
• Lydia was like a mother to Lorraine, and while she didn't have many friends at the circle, she considered her fellow mages to be her new family. She's often distrusting and cautious of non-mages, having a hard time believing that they can be accepting and caring about her - a mage - without having some ulterior motive. During the inquisition she bonds fastest with her mage companions. I also see her being closer to Dagna than any other non-mage companion due to their shared interests and passions.
• Eventually, when Lori received the vigil of trust and was allowed to make trips outside of the circle, Lydia told her the truth about the night when she was taken to the circle and encouraged her to reach out to her more distant relatives. Lorraine didn't see the point, as none of those relatives chose to reach out to her all these years either.
• Unlocking those memories for her was...ugly. There's still some unresolved trauma that she tries to learn how to live with. Naturally, the Nightmare demon in here lies the abyss quest takes full advantage of that because Drama. :3c
• I reckon Lorraine is interested in studying lyrium and finding ways for both mages and non-mages to work with it safely. She's also intrigued by the fade and the veil, so naturally she chooses the new, "experimental" fade rift magic later in the game. Apart from rift magic, she often opts for the frost element and spirit schools. She believes people shouldn't shy away from more sophisticated enchantments and other forms of magical crafts, taking inspiration from Tevinter and how they implement magical solutions to everyday problems.
• She would probably invent a magical fire alarm system enchantments to be installed in people's homes.
• While she's the kind of a person who would rather sit in a lab/study all day without interacting with a single living soul, she at one point got frustrated enough with her ideas being denied by the first enchanter that she decided to get into politics and push for reforms that would allow her to practice magic more freely.
• Speaking of politics, Lorraine spent most of her circle life in the aequitarian camp that generally tries to follow the chantry law. She always abided by the rule that magic should serve man in ethical ways, but also considered the system to be rather old-fashioned and limiting. She wrote drafts of reform programs detailing a secure and steady transition in which the circle would gradually provide more freedoms to mages, eventually letting mages govern themselves with as little chantry supervision as possible. When the mage rebellion started and fraternities split into two sides, Lorraine begrudgingly sided with the libertarians and supported the full separation from the chantry.
• Anyway, she has some serious personal issues but doesn't like letting it show and stays put. She's very focused on her work, determined and efficient, and is self aware enough to not take herself too seriously, so while she's not talkative and prefers to keep to herself, she doesn't sulk or dwell on her traumas, and tries to be friendly and accommodating to others. Although from her perspective, that equals to just being patient enough not to tell others to go fuck themselves fifteen seconds into the conversation.
Etc etc I think i could go on but I'm yet to complete a full playthrough with her and this is already a lot so maybe I'll yap about Lori more sometime later 🙈
#oc: lorraine trevelyan#dunno if i should call her Lori or Reina for short. i like both#Reina is more regal and cool-sounding but maybe that's why i prefer a simple and cute Lori for now 🤔#anyway I don't usually yap this much about my ocs here so this is a LOT but i just felt like going#so. enjoy#my ocs#dragon age#inquisitor trevelyan
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i am aware that this is likely not a new take at all, and i'm not like, claiming it as mine, but i never had the chance to have this opinion (or hear other ppl have this opinion) on a public forum before, so i just want to take this opportunity to say to another person, possibly for the first time with the exception of mb my mother, who is no longer here to agree with me, that "existence" came out when i was 8 years old, i watched it live, and literally the day i watched it i remember thinking to myself "why did they have a boy named william? they should have had a girl named samantha. OF COURSE they should have had a girl named samantha," like it felt so obvious to me
and tho i couldn't rly articulate it this clearly at the time, my little muddy 8 year old thought process was that the entire story of the xfiles starts with samantha, right? mulder has his beliefs bc samantha was taken; he says so in the very first episode. the whole reason he even thinks aliens are real to begin with is bc of samantha. the person he spent his whole life searching for was samantha. he MET SCULLY bc of samantha. samantha is the thread that ties the whole story together, so then how beautiful--how narratively perfect--would it have been to tie THEIR story--their love story (bc xfiles is, at the end of the day, a love story, fight me) up with a bow, where the beginning starts with samantha getting lost, and then ends with samantha there in their arms, finally found, just in a different iteration. (instead of naming the baby after mulder's dad who he doesn't even like? or scully's dad. or scully's brother. or mulder's middle name, which is after his father ik, but still, why are there so many fucking williams??)
like, imagine it. rly sit there and take a moment to imagine how the end scene in "existence" would have gone if mulder had said, "what are you going to name her," and scully had said, "samantha"
not only does it get the "ding ding ding, you're the dad!" point across, but how fucking Touched would mulder have been to have the woman he loves--the PERSON he loves--more than anything on earth honor the sister who took up so much of his soul for so long? who always will take up part of his soul, just in a healthier way. it would be scully saying, "we know she's gone from this world now, but she's not gone from our hearts" emphasis on OUR hearts, bc mulder's pain is scully's pain; mulder's quests are scully's quests. she never met her sister-in-law (they're married, fight me), and will never have the chance, but by naming their child after her, she would be saying, "i love her anyway. i love her because you love her, and because anyone you love deserves my love as well, bc we are intertwined at our core. our fundamental values, our suffering, our joy, it is felt in us both concurrently, bc i am your person, and you are mine, and together we made a whole other person who is a literal representation of our combined selves, and we are going to call her SAMANTHA, bc that little girl you watched get stolen from you however many decades ago has been the pillar that has kept us going as a team for the last eight years"
or maybe it would have been even simpler than that. maybe she would just be saying, "your sister is IMPORTANT, mulder, even in death, and her memory isn't held only by you. it is unrelenting, and preserved forever in our child"
i wanted that scene. i wanted to feel the heaviness of mulder's grief mixed with his elation and gratitude and love. i appreciate william for who he was in the scheme of things, but that moment in the bedroom, with their baby between them, shouldn't have been lessened for me bc they chose a name that made me pause and go "his dad was named william? oh yeah! forgot about that guy, it's been a few YEARS since we saw much of him, and what we did see of him wasn't like... awesome. but sure, name your baby that ig, if you must"
that scene should have hit so much harder, and if that baby had been a samantha? it could have hit like nothing ever has, and for all the mishaps that show took after that (and there were MANY), i think the thing i will always have the most resentment for is the fact that i felt robbed of something that would have meant so much to me as a viewer who had followed their journey from the start (or, well, almost start. i was born the year it came out, so i didn't start watching until 1998, when my brain came online, but i'd seen the past stuff at least)
anyway! that's all to say, 8 year old me was salty as hell about that, and ykno what? she was RIGHT and should have been able to say it. but, again, 2001, 8 years old, not old enough to participate in fandom, so that thought has just festered and rotted away in my brain like a piece of old, putrid meat. but! finally i can give my 8 year old self some catharsis by letting her bitch and bitch and bitch to her heart's content about how "existence" should have been the series finale, and how that baby should have been a girl named samantha, and how i climbed onto that hill 23 years ago, and how i will die there with my heels dug down deep
ty, internet, for coming to my extremely overdue tedtalk. somewhere in the past there is a small child (who definitely shouldn't have been allowed to watch xfiles as young as she did, but what can you do?) finally has a weight off of her chest. it's just a tv show, and in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter, but also, it's a tv show that i grew up with in my formative and unfortunately very traumatic years, and it genuinely feels like a loved one who has always been there to comfort me, and so yeah, it doesn't "matter," but the truth is, it Matters so incredibly much
that's all
-diz
#this was supposed to like#a paragraph#whupsie#guess i had some Things to Say#i will probably have more things to say later#baby me is finally allowed into the fandom and that is dangerous as hell#anyway i should write that au scene 🤔#otp: maybe if it rains sleeping bags#msr#txf meta#txf#the x-files#diz spouts conspiracies
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What if I exploded into blood and gore and viscera just real quick and then reconstituted like nothing happened and then everyone can get back to what they're doing. I just feel it would be fun to do.
#'och! a proccess has occurred!'#this post 🤝 my I want to be eaten by an alligator post 🤝 my I want castiel to hit me in the head with a hammer (gone sexual) post#I don't know what they say about my psyche but I know they're all connected. maybe it just says quite simply masochism lmao#it's not to be in pain it's to have an overwhelming sensory experience#where I am not in control and nobody would expect me to be#and I'm totally fine afterwards#anyway. back to my definitely completely unrelated large project that is all my responsibility and is 99% computer based#cawis creates#am I perhaps underestimated 🤔🤔🤔#maybe I should try an exercise class or something
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My sister asked me to clear an overgrown area of her backyard for her to do some gardening so I put on my butch jockstrap and went to town on some holes
#which I dug after these pictures which is why I’m NOT covered in dirt like I am currently#I actually barely used the axe since there were only a few INCREDIBLY SHARP mini trees that needed to go down#it was mostly garden shear on weed action but we all know the axe is sexier so#my sister comes home and is like “why didn’t you use the chainsaw” and I was like “why didn’t you tell me you had a chainsaw”#anyways but body is so sore but I’m a top again so maybe it was all worth it#also peep that big hair it’s where I keep all my love for internet cats and dogs 😮💨 I’ll cut it EVENTUALLY#maybe I’ll start a new tag should I go with tsuchi goes outside or tsuchi wears clothes#both are equally unlikely normally 🤔 I think I’ll stick with#gpoy
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If you're still doing the ship opinions, what do you think of Egypt x Norway?
lol don't think I ever started doing ship opinions, it's just so happened that I tackled a lot of ship related asks after one another 😅 but always happy to contribute Norway related information regarding connections and relations to other nations! ✨
Can't say I've ever heard about Egypt and Norway as a ship before, so I'm starting all fresh with this one. Norway and Egypt don't really have a lot of relations with each other - most of the dealings between the two nations is regarding Norwegian ships and the Suez, as well as military collaborations, and some Norwegian companies have investments in Egypt. I won't say Egypt is a very popular tourist destination, but there are definitely Norwegians who go there on holiday. There's no major cultural links or other funfacts I can find about them in my very short time looking into this.
For me, I need a historical link or some other cultural bond to really enjoy ships, so I think I'll need a bit more convincing on this one ✨
#hetalia#aph norway#aph egypt#hws norway#hws egypt#thanks for the ask!! 💖#and sorry I couldn't really find anything else about them#usually there is at least /something/ about relations but this one was very hard to find 😅#I'm sure there's something more though - but probably as an anecdote in some other story etc.#don't think I'll ever do a “rate this ship” kind of thing because I don't want to say anything negative about ships#so it'd all just be postive anyway 🤷#has anyone ever made a tier list of hetalia ships?? 🤔#now that'd be kind of fun to do#maybe I should make one with the most common Norway-ships...#so people could rank them#hmmmmmmmmmmm 🤔
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(Click for better quality.)
[Original background and other game assets are from alchemivich, who had originally extracted them from the game. Edits and everything else are done by me.]
Aaaand here's my other TWST OC Azura Heron as well as a closeup of her coffin icon that I am very proud of! She, like my MC Mia, was also made in the Djarn Picrew, but I edited her hair to make it darker so it'd match her wings more. (I did my best to make her as close to how I have her in my head as possible.) She actually has feathers that function as part of her hair and are pretty much two-toned like her wings, so pretend she has them. (All avian fae have hair feathers that match their wings.)
Azura makes her 'debut' around the first Fairy Gala since she and three of her close friends were asked to attend in order to form better relations between the small fairies and the reclusive avian fae. Which means they see Leona and the squad doing their thing and are distracted like everyone else. This is also around the time that she meets Malleus again for a bit before the Gala actually starts, and then a couple more times after it's over due to a happenstance that I'll probably be posting about in the near future. But it does end pretty well. :3
Feel free to ask any questions you might have about her!✨✨
#TWST#Twisted Wonderland#Fairy Gala#Leona Kingscholar#Malleus Draconia#TWST OC#TWST OCs#Azura Heron#Azura technically has four close friends.#So it's three girls and a guy who all have names!#Hmm maybe I should try making them on Picrew.🤔#I actually haven't thought about doing that until now.#Anyway here she is!✨✨#Maybe I'll try talking about her more since TWST has me by the throat.😅#Also yes the avian fae are inspired by the Dark Fey from Maleficent 2 because I'm a nerd.
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man reeeaaaaalllly wanna write a patrick pov mark rebellato days era art tags along on the zweig family trip to the summer vacation home kinda fic ft. sunburnt cheeks and shoulders and salt dried tangled tresses and passing a stolen bottle of something strong back and forth and toes in wet sand and moonlit first kisses 😩
#the viiiiiiiibes#i can feel them Exactly#but alas i have zero plot except this very very vague outline of a vacation that leads to a first kiss#maybe i should just try diving right into the first kiss part first#and then build it up around that#🤔🤔🤔#i just want. lowered inhibitions that lead to slightly drunk kisses that can easily be blamed on said state of inebriation#but REALLY have nothing to do with that bc its actually what both of them really wanted#only they dont KNOW that it was real for the other too#so they both just choose to pretend it didnt happen or chalk it up to some silly thing they did when they were buzzed#except it is the only thing both of them cant think about all day every day until that fated night in flushing...#y e a h#mack writes#or wants to anyway lol#artrick#challengers
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This was my films watch/rewatch streak of august-september (just before spooky season started)
Any ladies only gifset requests from these -except the animated films cause we don't post animation there- so i can post to ladiesofcinema (or do i get to roll the dice)
#any costume sets i should consider??? 🤔🤔#tbh there's 2 i really need to get my hands on...#rocketman and gladiator#maybe fight club too 👀👀#these were films netflix was removing from its catalog these months and i decided#either to watch for the first time or rewatch after eons hdfhkkhfdd#except like 2 of them i think... elvis and obvs nimona which i just felt like watching anyway#these pics are taken from my tv app that i also get to add the films i'm watching
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sometimes, I convince myself that my taste in romance in media is """sophisticated""" and """complex""", but then I remember that I am, in fact, a single celled organism and my only real qualifier for a good romance is if they can do the reze kiss
#wehhjjhhhhh durgetash and vika 😣#(actually i think every ship with rika can do the reze kiss actually lmao)#cephy talks#should i tag the ships 🤔 fuck it why not#v x rika#rika x mc#holy fuck this with jumin x rika would be fucking crazy 😭😭😭 jumin wouldnt see it coming and wouldnt deserve it at all whatthhefucjjjfj---#durgetash#<<<honestly the cutest first kiss idea 4 them hsjdjfjf#durge has proficiency in medicine they can patch gortash back up its fine#its enrichment for them#(and gortash deserves it😒😒😒)#shakarian w a renegade shep would be insane 2....... if there is a fic pleaes alert me asap‼️‼️‼️🗣🗣🗣#CHROM X GRIMA ........ fuck ues#byleth x jeritza#byleth x hubert......... they r so kyute.....#byleth x sylvain also....... ****explodes🤯🤯🤯#hmmmm maybe the only way i can enjoy m/f ships is thru polarizing moments of senseless violence and gentleness.......#ok enough yapping ‼️‼️‼️#feel free 2 bash me on anon 4 my taste id love to talk about it anyway :D#csm part 1 spoilers#tw: violence#tw: gore#HOLY FUCK HOW COULD I FORGET PHANTOMQUILL ???????
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i love that the english version of rafayel is so... this cuz thats at least not what he said in the chinese audio
the english translations are very interesting because its def not a 1-to-1 but raf's really adds something to the character
#love and deepspace#恋与深空#l&ds#my chinese isnt good enough to do chn audio and chn text#so for rn i do chn audio and eng text#but maybe i should swap that#and do eng audio and chn text 🤔#anyway im trying to listen closely to the speech
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Hehe, face to face
#jugishi#ishijug#uryu ishida#uryuu ishida#jugram haschwalth#featuring yhwach and elite guards#ofc it's me making it about jugishi#ah this post does remind me that maybe i should do a compilation of all jugishi scenes in cour 2 🤔#anyway this is from the recent cour 3 new teaser
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one of my toxic traits is that i can't stand writers as a class of people WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW ONES ok some of them are also the loves of my life but. they're crucially a minority so apart from those they're all SO annoying to me. and the fact that i'm also one doesn't help. anyway if you're a writer and i don't know you personally you should die
#i should maybe leave that one server i'm in it's not helping the hater tendencies#bc it's full of that one specific type. of people who write only because it's seen as the easiest way of doing it#which on a purely resources point is not exactly wrong and in a vacuum i always support getting your story out there in any way you can BUT#the result is that they genuinely don't care about writing as an artform. no consideration for prose no sense of style not even TRYING#to do something more than a glorified script in the format of a novel. and you can say 'oh you're being mean maybe they're just new to that#but it shows in the way they talk about other stuff too. completely ignoring the potential of the form. the reality of 'words on a page'#it's always just shit like 'is this villain's redemption arc ''''good'''' 🤔🤔🤔' or whatever. i hate you. i'll kill you.#that being said the prose warriorpoets who write only the most boring ass stories about men cheating on their wives are just as bad BUT#i don't meet a lot of those god bless.#anyway. i hate all of you and your fuckass medfan novels so so so so much i hope we all die in a fire for the sin of bad art#.parakeet
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in retrospect I guess I should have read between the lines but months ago one of our friends was like 'hey guys the school where I work just got a 3d printer, so if you have any heroforge stl files and send them to me we can try printing them :)'
and I, having never bought an stl file from heroforge (I don't have any use for them) and also having seen how Normal 3d printers handle heroforge minis (very badly), privately went Oh well that's pretty cool but I'm not... interested in that, since it's Not Gonna Work and trying just to see for sure would cost me eight dollars instead of nothing
this month heroforge has been doing a huge anniversary sale, and at the top of the month he'd mentioned again that If We Wanted To Do That, now would probably be a good time! :) because stl files are only 4$ right now! :) and I still didn't... do that, because I don't really want them, and I also frankly don't want to feel guiltily obligated to use chunky bad minis when we play
anyway today he was like 'hey guys that sale is ending pretty soon, so if you guys each wanna send me a mini I will buy them and work on printing them, or if you buy it yourself I can paypal you the 4$' like OOHHH, dude! you should have just SAID you wanted it for you, I would have done it WAY sooner!!!
#I'm not gonna let him pay me back are you kidding. it's For You??? I can pay eight bucks for this FOR you!!!#honestly what I also maybe should have done The Very First Time It Came Up#was just say 'oh my dad tried printing a heroforge mini on a regular 3d printer before and it literally couldn't do it'#but at the time I thought surely his brother would take him up on it right away-- or he'd just try it himself sooner rather than later#like-- I DID express some polite doubt that 3d printers Can Do heroforge minis but I didn't push it when he was like No It Should Be Fine#because like! okay man! seems rude to fight you on this when you're so enthusiastic and hey idk maybe I'm wrong anyway#like *I* don't know much about this I just have a General Awareness of printer resolution minimums and heroforge model size and complexity#anyway SHRUG none of this matters to me if Trying It will make him happy#although I wish he'd been less squirrelly about making that clear lol oh my dude I could have found you stuff I want on thingverse for free#ANYWAY maybe the printer's resolution IS really fine and they turn out amazing and this is the best thing ever#We Shall See I Suppose 🤔#about me#irl frens
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got the posting anxiety bad tonight
#click clack#ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go#ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog#BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me#because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art#like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public#and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot#a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury#the original posts I put here#but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication#my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen#dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself#and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences#maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art#just a slow drip until they are in the forefront#bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º_º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out#I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad#post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃
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Me, after finishing a romance anime: Okay well now what do I do
#Maybe I should just rewatch Shirayuki again 🤔#The goat of romance anime. Imo.#Anyway I just finished Sugar Apple Fairy Tale#It was VERY cute#Also very cliche but Challe's hot so it's fine. LMAO#And Bridget's a bitch I hope she rots. Tbh.#Shima speaks#I've also heard Horimiya is another really good one?#Idk I'm just in the mood for romance anime rn whoops haha#It really fucking sucks that the only HnKnA content we got was a movie. And it's not even a GOOD movie#It's confusing as hell 😔#Wish we got a proper adaptation from the main manga#GODDD I gotta read Love Labyrinth of Thorns again.#They were really pushing the Ace/Alice/Julius agenda with that one and it makes me SO fucking happy#I should just reread all my Alice manga honestly it's been a hot second lol#I'VE ALSO been thinking about rereading Kamichama Karin too that one has also been on the brain#Oof. So many choices. Haha
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