#…did she not care if I did or not?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
She lived outside more than in, but she knew where home was. It was common to see her lying in the garden or on the front porch. She would stare inside the house, but if you opened the door, she wouldn’t come inside. She looked grumpy, and terrorized the neighborhood dogs. More than one person was wary to pet or pick her up. Not me. I would go to pick her up and she would put her paws on my shoulder, as if to say “Yes, I want to be picked up.” I would scratch her and she loved it, and when she was ready to get down, she would get down. An older couple lived across the street from us, and they didn’t have any of their own cats, but they bought treats just for her anyway. She would hang out on their porch, too. She was a neighborhood cat, in many ways, and despite her dangerous reputation and ornery expression, everybody loved her.
In her final month, she was diagnosed with heart disease. At 15, it wasn’t surprising. Early last week, she stopped eating. A few days later, she disappeared. I searched for her. I called her name and shook the box of cat treats—a ritual with her. She never came. We all knew she was probably gone; she’d had disappearing spells in the past, but never preceded by a lack of appetite. Never under these circumstances. I still hoped she would come back.
In a way, she did. We arrived home from Church on Sunday, talking about searching for her again, and we found her. Lying on our front porch for the last time, wrapped in a plastic trash bag. We suspected the people who had come to take away the trees—fallen during Hurricane Milton and currently lying at the side of the road, to be taken away—had found her in one of the many piles, and somehow knew where to take her home. Her eyes were open, unseeing. I have read about the coldness of death, but not the hurt of really feeling it beneath fingers, tangled in fur that is still soft.
I have never lost a pet before. We rehomed our old dog when I was little, but he was happy and loved in his new home. My last moments with him were not a kiss transferred to an unfeeling forehead by my fingers. It hurts horribly. I slept so badly last night, my eyes ache from crying. At 15, Mittens was in my life for as long as I can remember.
I miss her.
Goodbye, Mittens. Dad says that animals go to Heaven, too, so I have asked the good Lord again and again to pet you for me, to give you a kiss and tell you that I love you. I will keep asking, until I can do it myself again.
#pet loss#tw: pet death#tw: pet loss#guys I’m so devastated#I loved her#so much#now she’s gone#i know she’s in a better place#but I’m sorry#for all the ways I probably let her down#i keep thinking that she was alone#when she died#what if she was in pain?#what if she was lonely?#how long did she lay there?#did she hear me calling? did she want to come? did she try?#did she hate me?#selfishly#i think#Did she die the death of a wild animal#grateful to be away from us#did she forget us?#did she forget me?#did she think I didn’t care?#…did she not care if I did or not?#i’m so sorry mittens#I’m sorry#im so fucking sorry
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
dragon meat, you, and me
#marcille donato#falin touden#farcille#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#tw blood#tw body horror#tw gore#as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive#the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence#evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved#ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost#on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation#the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood#in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art
16K notes
·
View notes
Photo
*Married life playing in the background
This idea was probably funnier in my head
#sansmaeda#sansmaeda wedding#undertale#danganronpa#nagito komaeda#sans undertale#meme post#I swear there's a reason why not everyone attended in nagito's side#no one wanted to go in the first place#sdr2#fanart#so for the record:#Ibuki DID attend but could't stay put for 5 minutes so she got bored and left#Teruteru is still pretty angry and bitter at Nagito#Hiyoko couldn't care less and thought it was gross#Akane saw no reason to go since her main source of food wouldn't go (Teruteru)#And spoiler alert but Chiaki's fucking dead lmao#she would've gone tho#probably#Also pretend nagito's using really good foundation on his hand cuz I totally forgot about his metal arm
92K notes
·
View notes
Text
William Afton winning that “idgaf” award in FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#vanessa shelly#fnaf vanessa#vanessa afton#william afton#steve raglan#happy spooky month everyone!!#almost fnaf movie anniversary coming up so wanted to draw some stuff for it#MORE VANESSA THOUGHTS LETS GOO!!#now featuring some William thoughts#I can imagine that shooting her own dad was hard for Vanessa#even though he’s a monster it’s obvious that like#she still cares about him in some way from the brainwashing he’s don’t to her#kinda proves she’s different than her father#meanwhile William did not have that much of a problem#like I know he looked sad for a second after stabbing Vanessa#but he did decide in a split second that was the best choice#William when you catch these hands
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm one hundred percent certain that after percy and annabeth made out underwater. and he wanted to make their relationship official. the question was not "will you be my girlfriend?" but "can i be your boyfriend?" i don't care what the canon says. percy gave annabeth the space to take the lead in the relationship. because after a lifetime of being abandoned by everyone she dared to care for. and then watching her on the brink of a panic attack at the thought of losing him the last four years. he wanted to honor a new beginning between them by follow her lead and moving at her pace.
#i will not accept another answer#(i'm easily persuaded)#i don't care what the canon says#(unless it was exactly this in which case that was good story writing)#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth headcanon#percabeth fluff#percabeth cute#percabeth romantic#percabeth rant#but in all seriousness#he for sure did this#not bc annabeth is a controlling partner like percabeth-opposers claim she is#but bc she is a girl who experiences love the same way the moon feeds off the suns reflection#never knowing truth warmth#only it's echo#and percy intends to make her feel like she's his entire world#like she's the reason the sun shines so brightly#so fuck off
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Lae'zel of Crèche K'liir my beloved
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#lae'zel#my art#back on my bullshit#did I add way more spots than she really has? yes.#do I care? no.
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
Bisexual crisis Crystal edition
#dead boy detectives#dbda#palasaki#palasaki week#it was supposed to be for the free day but i've completely lost the plot and I don't know if I'm on time#...or early#i know we all like to think crystal knows she likes girls#buuuut we saw her past. that is not an emotionally intelligent person#i think she was the kind of girl who put other girls down idk#i just think considering how she speaks for women so many times throughout the show#that it would be great character development#also charles figured it out decades ago#maybe even while he was alive#most of the time he crushes on girls though so you wouldn't know it#edwin probably doesn't know either i'm aware#but imagine if you will him reacting to this like "ugh#because he was there when Charles went through this journey and he did not care for it lol#whatever. niko you angel we all adore you#especially crystal... tho edwin might not like that#edwin: how dare you suggest you like niko more than i do?#preposterous
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
"don't make it political!" .... what proportion of death and suffering must occur before politics are involved. if this isn't political, what is even the point of any politics, ever. of democracy. the words are "by the people for the people." if i am going to be left alone by my elected representatives to "figure it out" - to undergo damage, hardship, fear. what the fuck did i elect them for. what was their job. the entire point is that they handle this shit. this is why we were supposed to be electing leaders.
poverty is political. misogyny is political. gun control is political. climate change is political. how much aid a community gets is political. what the fuck are you talking about. it's been political this whole fucking time.
#to be deleted probably#i think aid should be REQUIRED to be bipartisan#ppl shouldn't suffer bc of how they vote. sorry. i'm never gonna be like ''ah yah x area deserves it''#..... they're people. they're human people. what the fuck is wrong with you.#this is nonspecific bc it's the same argument every time it involves things the right wing could have prevented#oh she died in childbirth bc of abortion laws? well nows not the time to make it#well he died bc his boss made him work during the tornado? well let's not make this#ohhh they died in a school shooting? thoughts and prayers let's all not make#there's a big fucking natural disaster that is strong evidence for oncoming ecological collapse?#welllllllll leTS NOT MAKE IT FUCKING POLITICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11#WHEN WAS THE TIME???????????#PREVENTION HAS ALWAYS BEEN BETTER THAN WOUND CARE.#> stabs u . oh sorry that wasn't political#but also good luck in the hospital good luck with insurance good luck with medicine#good luck with disability support good luck w/ur job and taking time off good lucK!!!#refusing to allow politics into the matter means they get to shrug their shoulders and absolutely#refuse any fucking ACCOUNTABILITY#THEN WHAT WAS THE JOB FOR??? WHY DID I GIVE THEM THIS JOB???#WHAT IS LITERALLY THE POINT OF ELECTED OFFICIALS
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't stop thinking about the relationship between Jon and Helen as perhaps one of the most important ones in the entire show. They are narrative parallels for each other, and they both know it. They've both known it from the very start!
Helen walks into the Archives, paranoid, unsure of who to trust, and Jon sees himself in her. And he thinks "If i can help her, maybe there's hope for me too." Then he can't save her. The next time they meet, she's a monster. They're both monsters. There was never any other way their stories could have gone, their fates entwined from the very start.
And Helen answers his original thought with one of her own: "Maybe if we can help each other, there's hope for us both." But Jon looks at her and sees everything that he fears becoming, and so he turns her away, and refuses to accept that their stories are still one and the same.
Helen went to the last person who was ever kind to her, the only person who both knew her as a human and had the context to understand what she'd become, and he hated her. He hated her because he liked Helen, and told her that she couldn't be Helen.
So she stopped trying to be Helen, and embraced being a monster. Reveled in it even. Then Jon wakes up from a six month coma, more monster than person, and tries so hard to cling to the things that mattered to him when he was human. Even with no support, even with the entire archives staff against him, he chooses humanity and compassion over and over again.
And this is a direct threat to Helen's world view. Their stories are entwined. If Jon can continue to be a person even after everything he's been through, then she could have clung to her humanity too, if only she'd tried a little harder. And that terrifies her! She wants to conceptualize herself as someone who was completely overwhelmed by forces beyond her control, who never had a choice but to become a monster. She want's to be an innocent victim. But Jon argues with his actions that they'd both had choices.
And, Jon, in turn, holds out hope that she might make better choices until the very end.
This is the conflict between them for all of season 4 and 5. Jon wants to prove that they can both be decent people, and Helen wants to prove that they were never going to be anything but monsters. This is why she's so devoted to trying to goad Jon into enjoying his newfound godhood. She knows that they are the same, and wants that to mean that he has a spark of evil inside of him, and not that she was always capable of doing good.
When Jon kills her, she loses her life, but wins the argument. Helen is nothing but a dangerous monster who needs to be killed for the good of everyone, and in the moment he decides that, Jon dooms himself to the same fate. Their stories are one and the same. "If i can help her, maybe there's hope for me too." he thought. But he couldn't help her, refused to, even, in the one moment when it actually mattered. And thus, there was never hope for him.
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#helen distortion#my rambles#i am not normal about them#helen did nothing wrong in her entire life#(aside from being a real estate agent)#Her story is just so tragic to me#She could have been better#she had choices#thats the entire point#but the choice was between a thankless attempt at retaining her personhood#with absolutely no support and no one who cared about her#or giving into the comforting lie that she never had a choice at all#She had choices and she made them but i don't think anyone could reasonably expect her to have done any better
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
All he knows is flirt with men and lie.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#su she#jin guangyao#Jin Guangyao smelt the 'no one appreciates me' wafting off this guy and said 'is anyone else going to manipulate that to their benefit?'#Su minshan fans...I get it. He's so deep into his role as a pawn he thinks he might have a chance of being someone bigger in this game.#He does play a key role but he's never actually out of anyone's shadow! That's brutal!#JGY's manipulation games are always so fun to see in action. His words are his weapon!#He's getting verbally kicked around only to have someone acknowledge his achievements! Just like how NMJ did for JGY.#He is a master of honeyed words and gentle appreciations. His instrument is *your* heartstrings.#He might see himself in Su She; They both feel under valued and hungry for more importance -#-but it's also a means for JGY to know how to pull his strings.#(IN THIS MOMENT. I very much realize he does come to care for him later on.)#It is also funny how much his powerplays involve sweet talking men. Where did he learn that from?#(Most likely the brothels he grew up in. It's a kick in the gut once you see that link!)
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Language divides and building bridges.
Elesa’s feeling homesick. Emmet, bless his heart, tries to help by infodumping while Ingo frantically runs off to find water (crying is a very dehydrating experience).
((Would you look at that! The kids are picking up kantonese and galarian from each other!))
BONUS:
Heh. Callback.
Want to see more? Here’s the masterpost for submas!
#not Emmet trying to say Electric in kantonian and failing miserably#meanwhile Ingo gets it within the first five seconds (what a MOOD)#wow ingo ur so good at languages! hope this doesnt come into play later when you get sent to a foreign island chain far in the past!#(sweats)#anyways LOOK THE PATRATS AND PACHIRISU ARE FINALLY BECOMING FRIEND FRIENDS#I CAN DRAW SHENANIGANS AGAIN WHEEEEEE#BUT also... callback to the library comic where Emmet and Elesa talk about Leaning on Friends for Help... hehehehhough#elesa did in fact get that from somewhere yes#it's this. she got it from this interaction. from two people who decided to care about her for some reason#and so she decides to care back#(little rat dog barking noise) anyways back to tagging!#pokemon#art#sketchbook#submas#myart#fanart#pokemon ingo#subway boss ingo#submas comic#elesa#pokemon leader elesa#kid submas#nimbasa trio#blitzle#tynamo#ingo#emmet#subway master kudari#subway master nobori
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
that moment when you adopt a fuck ton of tiny gods at fourteen and get doomed by the narrative
#carpetbug art#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#ml#miraculous fanart#ml feline blue au#ml fbau#ml au#marinette#marinette dupain cheng#kwami#didn’t draw all the kwamis she’s caring for cause tored but enjoy the ones i did#sass#xuppu#wayzz#trixx#mullo#tikki#pollen#ziggy#barkk#stompp#plagg#roarr#roaar#fluff#she gets a little lost in the miraculous info dump sauce and the kwamis are just like heyyyyy girl sorry you’re freaking out. when’s lunch?#marinette my girl failure control freak anxious bitch adoptive mother <3
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
leverage is so fucking funny. man manages to find the most mentally ill and neurodivergent group of thieves on the market + an even more mentally ill guy whose literal job description was trying to chase all of them, and forces them into a found family speed-run by trying to blow them all up. they lowkey stage a full fucking country wide coup and are like eh 🤷 just another wednesday. this might be a fun place to vacation tho i guess. sophie shows up to her own funeral twice. they're so good at convincing people of their shit that they make a guy's body start reacting to an illness he doesn't have because it isn't real. go completely out on a limb and basically hand this one guy a new password for his computer so they can get into it and he goes with it. parker and hardison have straight up just "fake it 'till you make it"d into the fbi without even attempting to cover their tracks beyond just These Two Guys. half their clients never asked to be their clients and don't know they're their clients, and the other half are random people who find them who fuckin knows how, meanwhile no government agency can track them down without selling their soul to sterling. they make a point to have a dramatic scene w a Big Bad Shadowy Government Guy who doesn't actually get caught or brought to justice or anything telling them he's going to hunt them all down, and in any other show this would probably earn at least a minor arc later on but he literally never shows up again. an entire season finale hinged on a cake and a bunch of clams. they accidentally made eliot a celebrity not once, not twice, but three times. parker blew up her foster parents' house when she was like. nine. and it's hardly a footnote. hardison is just casually an artistic prodigy but it's only ever brought up for the most background of background gags. eliot's biggest beef with parker and hardison for like two and a half seasons is that they won't stop making weird food with lasers and refuse to realize they can't make a decent beer to save their lives. sophie's immediate response to being shot is to call her shooter a wanker. there's a character who has literally killed a man with a mop and they had the audacity to only put her in one episode.
#leverage my beloved <3#ramble#leverage#i also feel the need to point out that. while yes sophie did show up to her own funeral twice. she also technically was the driver to bring#her own ''corpse'' to wherever interpol was sending it lmfao#re: eliot being made a celeb 3 times bc some people are confused—country singer; baseball player; hockey player#didnt count the knockout job bc i think that was p local focused? could be wrong#re: character who killed a man w a mop = mikel dayan (hitter from the two live crew job)#this post is getting people interested in leverage lets goooooooo#this post has also officially surpassed the number of people i expected to ever know or care about leverage by several thousands#bc even though logically i know it aired as an actual tv show over several years and a lot of people probably saw it#that does not compute in my head#leverage spoilers
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
caption
#art#fanart#my art#original art#took a small break from attacks and I did this#splatoon#splatoon art#splatoon fanart#splatoon fan art#splatoon au#splatoon fuzzy au#fuzzy au#splatoon callie#callie splatoon#callie#callie squid sisters#squid sisters callie#callie cuttlefish#she's god a piece of a salmonid there#question is the quality ok#I genuinely dont know if it's the image or my eyes from how little I sleep#god I really need to care for myself or I'll drop dead in a week#csp#don't like this#but at the same time I do
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
the way hamlet acts in act 5 scene 1 juuuust clicked to me. like my impression was "smh my head he is so toxic, he did NOT love ophelia as much as laertes did, what is wrong with him" but actually i think the thing that sets him off isn't just laertes' display of grief, it's also how everyone takes it seriously. everyone treats ophelia's funeral like a funeral and is sympathetic to laertes and understanding of his desire to jump in a grave with her etc but these same people around hamlet expected him to celebrate his uncle's coronation and move on from his father's death at the same time. in that moment hamlet sees laertes as similar to the actor narrating priam's death in act 2 scene 2 and it makes him SO mad (and he regrets it later in act 5 scene 2 which is after he realizes laertes' emotions are as real as his own. probably why he calls him "brother" as well)
#i think he did care for ophelia but certainly not 40k times the amount laertes did sorry bro i dont believe that#hamlet#shakespeare#ws#all my hamlet thoughts revolve around how hamlet is perceived by the people around him and how that affects him#hamlet living his life like someone on a stage and the ppl around him being his audience that isn't really paying attention#and like. ophelia being in this EXACT same position but so much worse. bc she's a woman in the 17th century
3K notes
·
View notes