#………I saw as if there aren’t already 3 different shitty horror movies in the making

[memekeymouse]

I feel great fear towards what will happend on mickeys 100th birthday cuz I know for a fact they don't wanna give him a movie

someone working with the public domain will do an animated movie with him as the star before them at this point and Im saying that as a joke rn but If it were to accualy happen that would be so embaressing oh my god imagine being beat to that after over 100 years lmao

Like to Charge

REBLOG TO CAST

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

A Misplaced Imbalance of Fear

Ao3,   MasterPost

Relationships: Romantic Dukexiety, implied/minor Moceit (platonic or romantic)

From the power of my Art and my Shitposts comes This Fanfiction!!!

Warnings: Panic Attacks, Lots of Cursing, descriptions of gore (horror movies, it gets decently explicit so beware that), mild body horror (Remus is here and he Does Things Like That), Heavy Roman angst for a hot minute in the middle, making out (continuing my theme of remus-centric fics getting more ;3). They do some makeup and drink tea, baby. Mentions of picking one’s skin as an Anxious habit, and also ticking. Also stimming!!! nd sides 4 life bb. Also, a very brief alcohol mention (it’s soup).

Word Count: 6,553

God Fucking Fuck, Virgil was going to have a self-care day even if it killed him dead. Everybody else could do whatever overdramatic fuckery they wanted when they were topside, but he was all set down there in the Mindpalace, thank you very much.

Luckily, mercifully, thankfully, the rest of the sides all seemed keen to let Virgil have his space anyway. There wasn’t a thing stopping him from relaxing.

Well, except for himself, of course.

A thrum of condensed stress and fear tugged at Virgil’s abdomen, bubbling its way over his edges. It was equally his own and the others’, probably due to whatever conversation they were caught up in in the external world. He would not relent to the worry, nor was he summoned to help with the situation, but his body refused to stop shaking. Perched on the top of the couch, frantically clicking the buttons on a fidget cube, Virgil tried to watch the gore playing on the TV in a tired effort to calm his nerves.

Horror movies… helped. They were something for his brain to chew on for a while- their over-the-top and ridiculous plots, the obnoxious characters that almost always deserve what’s coming to them, the attention-attaining action- it was all a recipe for Distraction. But they weren’t working by that point, no matter how badly Virgil wanted them to.

And then- possibly because the universe loved to spite Virgil and Virgil specifically- a walking, talking headache flung himself into the common room about as elegantly as a wolfhound with rabies.

“Heyyyy,” Remus crowed as he sprawled himself out on the couch. Anxiety curled his legs closer under his body, unresponsive- he knew full well that any reaction would just be an invitation for trouble from the obnoxious trait. He’d remember what Logan taught them: don’t engage, just brush it all off.

Unfortunately, Remus seemed to be in a stubborn mood.

“Whatcha watching?” 

“Movie,” Virgil grumbled. 

“What movie?”

He eyed the side laying out on the couch below him, narrowing his gaze as threateningly as he could manage. He spat the words through gritted teeth and made it clear he was not having this today.

“It’s called Terrifier.”

Remus perked up at that, and oh God, if he was interested then he’d never go the fuck away.

“What’s it about?”

There wasn’t much Virgil could do but answer in as clipped a tone as he could; things hadn’t gotten too bad, too uncomfortable, yet. Maybe he could redirect Remus’ attention, if he was just boring and unresponsive enough?

“Just a cliche creepy clown flick. Not much to it.”

“Is it gory?” 

Virgil made a vaguely affirmative sound in his throat, gesturing to the screen. In truth, the movie’s impeccable special effects with gore was its main appeal, as the acting and plot was kinda atrocious. Violence was the exact reason he’d chosen to watch this. But he knew saying that wouldn’t help his chances of shaking off Intrusive Thoughts.

Remus looked ready to spout off something explicit, but he went dead quiet as his eyes fell on the scene on the television. Virgil was grateful for small mercies.

It was exactly the kind of thing that the creative trait would watch, after all; a woman getting sawed in half, lengthwise, starting from the- er, the wrong end. Under circumstances of a more typical anxious flare-up, the scene really could have been one of those ‘helpful distractions’. 

These were not normal circumstances.Yeah, this was one of those ‘too passive’ cases, but Virgil didn’t exactly have the energy for anything ‘active’. So, he stubbornly glared at the TV and pretended that his solution was working, because he had no idea what else to do. Perfect plan.

Preoccupied as he was with his internal issues, he very nearly managed to forget about Remus. Until-

“Holy fuck, this is gorgeous, you watch stuff like this?!” The Duke’s eyes were bright, but not with his usual hysteria. They were wide with genuine excitement, shiny and happy. It was- uncanny, that’s probably the word Virgil was looking for. He curled closer in on himself.

“Shouldn’t be that surprising, dude. ‘Scary’ is kind of my thing.”

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen this one,” the creative side was once again completely enamored by the television screen, “Don’t blood and guts and cool things like that freak you out? They always seem to do the trick when I try to mess with you!” 

“It’s different. The violence in movies, it- it calms me down, I guess. Cause it’s like, I don’t know, detached from reality?”

There was a pause that had Virgil hoping, naively, that Remus had grown bored at his spiel. But he wasn’t moving, he was just staring, gaze switching contemplatively from the screen to Virgil a few times over.

“It doesn’t look like that. If you were any more tense, all your tendons would be snapping like badly-tuned violin strings!” 

“Yeah, no shit,” Virgil pressed his back against the wall and shut his eyes tight. He could still hear- no, feel- Patton and Roman and Thomas arguing, snapping at each other back and forth as the situation escalated.

“Is this about whatever the others are doing? Why don’t you just stop listening to their shitty arguments?”

A harsh laugh escaped Virgil at that, dragging him back down to earth so he could blink his eyes open, glaring at the facet lying beneath him. 

“I can’t just stop, that’s not how I work. I need to keep an ear on them. Who knows what could happen if I didn’t?”

“Well, why don’t you just go talk to them?”

If he wasn’t already frustrated beyond belief, that would’ve fuckin’ done it for him.

“I don’t think I’d be much help. Not right now.”

“Why not?” Remus looked halfway between genuinely curious and mischievous, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better view of Anxiety.

“Seriously? Things aren’t exactly, like- normal between all of us.”

“What is normal?” 

Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came through. As much as it sounded like an offhanded, edgy 13-year-old atheist kind of remark, it was a decent point. Virgil had thought that there was something of a status quo forming between himself and the ‘light sides’, but how long had that even lasted for? Especially compared to the rest of his life? Everything was changing all the time. Was there anything to rely on, or was it just Virgil’s own wishful thinking for what their lives could be? After all, even in ‘peaceful times’, there had been plenty of in-fighting and disagreements and horrible uncomfortable conversations and harsh words and-

“Oh, shut that brain up,” Remus’ sharp voice pulled Virgil from his thoughts, “I know what you meant ‘normal’. You meant the six months when you got to forget about us Scary Monsters, and, DUH! It was probably way simpler for all you diet-soda-no-sugar sluts back then, but that doesn’t mean it was better.”

“Yeah, you would think that things are better now, wouldn’t you?”

Remus fixed Virgil with an unsettling sort of grimace, making the other squirm. It wasn’t the first time he’d done so by any means. 

“I dunno, but what I do know is that things are getting better. They’ll be the best they could be, soon.”

Despite himself, Virgil laughed. It was a faltering, anxious sound, revealing the true fear behind the taunting gesture.

“Really? With everybody at each other’s throats all the time?”

“While that does sound fun,” Remus sat up fully, twisting around to look directly up at Virgil, “I mean after that. After we’re all accepted. It’s inevitable- Inevitable, Anxious Lil’ Barista,” Remus accompanied the referential nickname with a wink. 

Virgil stared at him like he was crazy (well- like- crazier than usual, he guessed?). Remus just threw his head back and laughed before spinning his neck one-hundred and eighty degrees to face the TV while he explained.

“Point is, it’s painfully obvious that everything will sort itself out. It has to, or else the only other option is that Thomas is gonna drive himself insane by trying to suppress parts of himself and end up clawing his own brain out. One of those two things!”

While colorfully phrased, the certainty with which Remus delivered his point had Virgil taken aback. There was no way that Remus could possibly know that, but- in a backwards way it was comforting, how sure he sounded. He didn’t lie, not ever.

Virgil had never thought that Remus would settle for anything less than going out of his way to make others’ lives a hell. But maybe that antagonism wasn’t what exactly motivated the trait’s actions. Maybe it was just an unintentional side effect, akin to what Logan had said when Remus first revealed himself.

The moment of reprieve was over as soon as it began.

“Fuck! He just cut off her tits and wore ‘em, huh?” 

Virgil looked up and, to be fair, that was exactly what had happened on screen. Like he said, this movie wasn’t exactly poetic cinema, but it certainly was something. 

He scooted along the top of the couch, moving just a few feet before dropping down to sit properly beside Remus.

“3/10 drag look at best, really,” Virgil muttered, mostly to himself. He jumped when Remus shrieked with laughter at it, looking absolutely delighted. 

“I didn’t know you made jokes like that, VeeVee!”

Virgil shrugged noncommittally, focusing on the screen and not the facet beside him. Remus’ giggling was loud and distracting, but it wasn’t… unpleasant, unlike his typical villain-cackle was. 

Once Remus had settled down (as much as somebody like him could, anyway), he, too, focused on watching. The quiet was uncomfortable, but it didn’t stretch on for long. There was always something in the movie that The Duke felt the need to comment upon extensively, elaborating and giving details on the gore. Virgil found himself listening to the rants silently, almost enjoying the disruption. It certainly gave his overactive mind something to play around with.

“-skin doesn’t slice as easy as that, trust me-”

Aaaand there it was. Virgil winced, trying very hard not to show that the words had struck a nerve. He liked horror, gore, all that, sure, but there were just some specific things- squicks, you could call them. Remus would obviously use that to his advantage, so the only option was to try very hard to zone out and not look like he was disturbed.

“But even then- Hey, why are you making that face?”

Mission failed.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Remus shifted closer- invasively closer, his gaze studying. 

“You were calming down earlier, what's with the scrunch-nose?”

Virgil stared at his hands, chipping away his black nail polish. Remus was nearly as good at reading lies as Janus, and twice as hard to get rid of.

“It's just- skin, slicing, that stuff just-” he ticked, head spasming sideways briefly at even the thought of that kind of pain.

“Oh,” Remus said plainly, not even a hint of malice or mischief in his tone as he leaned back into his own spot, “Why didn't you just say so? Well, that last exploding head kill is way more interesting anyway, did you see that?”

That was… it? No taunting, no tormenting, he just changed the topic, like that? 

Remus, continuing to be weirdly perceptive, scoffed as though he was reading Virgil’s mind.

“What? Just because I like screwing with you prudes sometimes doesn't mean I want to give you a panic attack. Where's the fun in that?”

Anxiety nodded mutely, bewildered. Remus seemed appeased by that and quickly resumed his running commentary.

And if Virgil eventually decided to take part in the discussion, well, it wasn’t a big deal anyway. Just some polite conversation about bodily mutilation.

 The television darkened as the screen was washed by credits, filling the space where the disfigured face of the main character had been mere moments prior, the result of a pretty predictable twist ending. Virgil stood, arching his back up in a stretch. His arms raised higher, one joint or another crackling at the motion. Fuck, he was sore. How long had he been sitting still?

Remus hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch. He tapped his claws along the remote, exiting to the homescreen and looking expectantly at Virgil.

“You don't wanna watch anything else?” He asked abruptly, drawing a confused glance from his companion, “This is fun- and they're still arguing up there, so it kinda makes sense to stay, it’s really the best solution if you-”

Virgil huffed a laugh at the rambling. It sounded like some shit he’d say, for crying out loud.

“Dude, chill, I was just gonna make some tea before putting on another movie,” the clear relief that ran across Remus' face- quickly replaced by a wide grin- wasn't anything shy of… sweet. Virgil was sure this day couldn't get any fucking weirder, if he was finding anything endearing about the walking talking dirty joke before him. “Uh, you want anything? Since you're gonna stick around, and all.”

Remus jumped up, following Virgil into the MindPalace’s small kitchen happily. In one smooth motion, he swung up onto the counter and slid down it, seating himself almost on top of the stove.

“No hot leaf soup for me, thanks, but I will take one of those mugs!”

Virgil raised a brow, staring the creative trait down before shrugging. He passed him one of the mugs, a generic and patternless one- so that the other sides probably wouldn't notice its absence. He busied himself by setting up the kettle, trying not to wince at the loud wet crunch that resulted when Remus took a bite of his snack.

“Hey,” Remus said around a mouthful of ceramic chunks, “I know just the movie we should watch next.”

Virgil shifted around the various tea boxes littering the cabinets, searching for something with a kick. He hazarded a glance to Remus, immediately regretting the decision when he saw the blood dribbling down his chin from the cuts marring his lips. Anxiety cringed, turning his head back and grabbing for the first brightly-colored box he saw. It took him a moment to respond.

“Okay… what is it?” 

“It's awful- I mean, really, the acting is unbearable and it’s fucking insane- but it's funny. You like making fun of stuff, right? It's like that, but there's still a ton of agonizing death, which is always a fun bonus.”

“What's it about?” Virgil was hesitantly intrigued, his gaze flicking up from the steadily heating kettle. He wasn't exactly keen on staring down the gory scene of Remus’ mouth, so he settled his focus on the trait’s eyeball brooch. 

“Uhn-uhn! No spoilers, this is one you have to see for yourself. It's funnier that way.”

Virgil made a noncommittal sound, tapping his nails against the counters.

“Nothing too bad happens- not that you can't handle, anyway. No slicing and not many jumpscares.”

He resisted the urge to snap 'how do you know what I can’t handle?' because Remus actively trying to reassure him was. Something. Something that he appreciated, maybe, a little.

“Okay, fine. I didn't have anything else in mind. A ‘So-Bad-It’s-Good’ thing sounds alright.”

The obnoxious gnawing of Remus destroying what was left of his cup suddenly ceased, replaced by a stunned silence. Virgil finally met his eyes (finding that the lacerations around Remus’ mouth were already healing themselves, as if they'd never existed).

“You’re taking my suggestion?”

Virgil cleared his throat, finding himself unable to break the intense eye-contact now that it had been established.

“It's not a big deal or anything, man. Just a movie.” 

Remus nodded enthusiastically, a grin splitting his face ear-to-ear. Very literally. The expression was so unnatural and cartoonish on a human(ish) face, that Virgil couldn't help but be startled into laughter. Remus looked even more delighted at that reaction, leaning forward over the stove. At that point, Virgil very much couldn't suppress the noises, snorts bubbling up from his throat against his will.

“You look-” another bout of chuckling, “-you look ridiculous, Remus.”

“Aw, thank you! I was going for manic, but I'll settle for that, too.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, hunching in on himself to get his breathing back to normal. 

With no warning, Remus lifted himself up onto his knees and craned his body around the vigilant trait, snatching the kettle from the stove and flipping the dial to ‘off’. Instinctively, Anxiety recoiled from the proximity. The tension fell away when he saw that the other was simply pouring the hot water into Virgil’s mug for him.

“Dude, it wasn't whistling yet?”

“I know; it was hissing like it was about to start. You're boring and don't like loud noises, especially when you’re all on edge like this, so,” he set the kettle back down, passing the warm mug to Virgil. 

Virgil stared at him, then at the drink in his hand, then back up at the Duke. He was, for what felt like the millionth time that day, unsure of how to react.

He… really hadn't thought that Remus would pick up on stuff like that. He should probably start getting used to that, maybe.

“I'm-” Virgil dragged his finger up and down the handle of his mug, “I'm not that on edge anymore, actually.”

The look that Remus sent him was indecipherable. 

“C’mon, I’ll queue up that flick I told you about.”

“Yeah,” Virgil let out a deep breath, one he hadn't even known he'd been holding, “Yeah, okay.”

 The floor was bubbling, popping, blistering with red fury. It was lava, sending bright flaming sparks in all directions. Thankfully for Remus and Virgil, sitting close together on the couch and viciously mocking cabin fever, the vicious rage was exclusive to one small circle near the staircase.

Virgil, who had been happily tearing apart the leading guy’s acting, cut himself off abruptly.

“Shit- wait- shit.”

Remus shook himself out of his raucous laughter, looking up in confusion. His eyes finally settled on the crimson patch of carpet, a look of realization crossing them. His voice turned much quieter than what fit him.

“Oh, fuck.”

It was like a volcanic eruption localized entirely within the living room, fire blazing in a tall column. From the emotional display, Roman rose up, face nearly as red as his method of transportation. 

There was that brief moment, right when a stressful situation appeared, of antithetical serenity. Virgil felt his muscles slacken in shock, his long-empty mug falling from his hands and landing on the carpet with a dull thud. A rush of calmness hollowed out his chest, lingering for just a few seconds before being replaced by panic. Tension returned to his limbs mere moments after that, like it was pulling him taut.

Roman wasn't even looking at them- in fact, he hadn't seemed to notice his brother or best friend at all. The fire fell back down, leaving a charred patch of carpet that would likely take a long time to repair itself. The passionate trait growled, a sound that bordered on a scream as he clawed his hands down his face. He stamped his boot sharply against the ground, igniting another small fire with the impact.

“Fuck!” He cried, ever oblivious to his audience. With a hasty wave, the flames flickered and disappeared. Roman glared down at the blackened spot where it had been, winding his arms tightly around himself. He took a few shaky breaths, but if anything he only looked worse off for it.

“Fuck,” this time spoken quieter, but with no less vitriol. An immaculately-manicured hand raised itself to cover his mouth, tightening around his face desperately as tears slipped from his eyes down his fingers. He turned on his heel and took the stairs two at a time.

In his wake, as the television had been paused, the only thing that Virgil could hear was buzzing in his skull.

What had happened? What was happening, currently?! Things had gone so wrong and it was all because of Virgil’s negligence- what bad things could have been prevented if he had just been there? Or- or even just listening in! When had he even stopped listening? He was supposed to protect them but he just gave up, just because he ‘couldn't handle it’, and now something was Wrong with Roman and he couldn't even focus on listening to them all now, not like this. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t hear or see anything at all.

A rough, calloused hand wrapped around his wrist. Virgil's shallow breath staggered even more at the feeling, the warbly noise of speech failing to meet his ears. His eyes were closed tight, he realized, stinging with emotion behind his eyelids.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Four seconds, four strikingly gentle presses against the vein of Virgil’s wrist. If it weren't for the slight edge of a claw, he could've confused the motion for one of Patton’s.

The four taps were followed by a brief pause, then a steady round of seven taps. Another pause, and then eight. As Virgil focused, as much as he could anyway, on the presses, the screaming of his mind very gradually abated. First, he pried his eyes open, staring down at the hand around his arm. Watching the tapping, feeling it, was grounding enough for his hearing to return in time. Virgil could hear Remus beside him, breathing deeply as a guide, and copying the exercise became that much easier. In for four, hold  for seven, out for eight. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

Remus didn't stop when Virgil did it properly one time over, when he was still shaking and teary. He didn't speak up even when the well behind Anxiety's eyes ran dry, after what had to be a dozen rounds of even breaths. It was only when Virgil finally, hesitantly slipped his wrist out of the other's grasp on his own terms that Remus made any sounds.

“Do you remember when you taught me to do makeup? Late teens, early twenties, around then?”

Talk about a topic shift. Virgil glanced up in confusion.

“I guess so? Wasn't that, like, the only time that we hung out and actually got along?” They’d never exactly been close, Virgil had made sure of that. It was, in retrospect, a regrettable decision on his part.

“Yeah. I was so bad at it, remember?”

“Hell yes, I remember,” Virgil felt a tiny smirk tug his lips at the memory, “You literally never sat still. You were and are the most impatient person I've ever met.”

“I’ve gotten a lot better, Vee.”

Virgil glanced at the bruise-like eyeshadow circling the Duke's eyes, but refrained from saying anything. Knowing him (kind of knowing him? Starting to know him better now? Whatever.) it was most definitely intentionally off-putting, and probably not a good way to judge his actual ability.

“But I’ve seen how you do it, when you really, really try; I think you're still better than me with it, ju-u-ust barely.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Virgil wasn't entirely sure where this was going, but he couldn't find the soft excitement in Remus’ eyes anything other than enticing. The creative side laughed, flapping his hand.

“It would be fun if you did it for me again! Just like old times, ey?”

Virgil stared at him, considering him carefully.

“You want me to do your makeup?” 

“Yes!” Remus leaned forward with his confirmation, but for once that didn't involve violating Virgil’s post-panic attack bubble, “It'll give you something to do with your hands other than peeling back all your skin, at the very least.”

Oh, right. Virgil not-so-subtly lifted his nails from his palms, wincing at the irritated red spots coloring his hands.

Truth be told, the idea wasn't… unappealing. It was an activity well between mindless and active, repetitive and artistic. Plus, he didn't exactly love being alone after attacks, and if anything Remus would be lively company. Company that he sort of, maybe, possibly was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with anyway, unfortunate events notwithstanding.

“Yeah, alright, if you're sure you want-”

“Great! Wait right there, bee-arh-bee,” before the words were even fully out of his mouth, Remus went limp and fell sideways off of the couch, falling right through the floor. 

In his absence, there was a void where his noise had been. Virgil stared at the paused movie scene, picking apart the little details of the frame just to have something to do. His mind drifted off to the state that Roman had been in when he entered. The sight of his friend so furious burned itself on the backs of Virgil’s eyelids. He knew that the anxiety wasn't all his own, either; he could feel it like waves from the other side of the MindPalace, the origin point clearly belonging to Roman.

He should check on him, shouldn't he? Or would that make it worse? Virgil certainly didn't feel like he was in any state to help. But then there was Patton to consider- something must have happened up there. Should he look for him, too?

There was a whoosh.

“I leave you alone for five seconds and you get right back to thinking!” Remus strode across the room, flopping right back onto the couch. Held in his arms was an enormous multi-pocketed bag, items clattering around within at every jostle their owner made.

“Overthinking is literally my whole job, man, this shouldn't surprise you,” Virgil shrugged, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt.

Remus simply rolled his eyes and dropped the makeup case onto Virgil's lap, sitting criss-cross parallel to him, their knees brushing slightly.

Virgil hesitated for a moment, scanning Remus' face, but all the other did was smile and blink (one eye at a time). 

Virgil zipped open the bag, rifling through and finding an overwhelming array of gaudy colors and odd products.

“Was there, like, a 'look' that you want to go for?”

Remus shrugged.

“Just go for it! I’m a blank canvas. The worse, the better.”

Virgil chuckled, picking out a few items to fit a theme he was coming up with and getting right to work.

Though it had been years since they’d last spent time together, it wasn’t awkward. In fact, it felt more comfortable than it had back then.

Remus managed to sit almost perfectly still, chattering the entire time that Virgil worked. Yet again his voice served as something like white-noise, wherein Anxiety only had to contribute whenever he chose. Remus only quieted when Virgil had to hold his face, tipping his head back to properly apply inky-black lipstick. And then, he remained silent for a moment, as they surveyed each other. 

Virgil had cleared his throat, warmth prickling at his ears, and the ceaseless rambling resumed after that.

In what felt like hours and no time at all, Virgil was finally satisfied with his work.

��Alright, you're all done,” he capped the bottle of mascara in his hand, rifling through Remus' bag for a mirror, “Wanna see?” 

Just as he felt the unmistakable cool surface of glass on his fingertips, Remus grabbed his wrist in both hands. 

“What-?”

“Not so fast! Now it's my turn,” he announced, his zealous eyes even more prominent on his face thanks to the thick wings of eyeliner around them. 

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Virgil looked from the assortment of garish colors that he'd mostly stayed away from in the makeup case, and then back up at the Duke.

“Usually: yes. But I am dead serious right now, Vee.”

Remus looked pleading, legitimately pouting. 

Virgil huffed. The side had gone out of his way to help him, when he really didn't have to, so…

“You're not going to just use this as an excuse to draw all over my face, are you?”

“I mean, no promises that I'll be able to restrain myself, but! Gimme a chance anyway, I can make you even hotter than you already are! Plus, we'll match then.”

“... Fine. Just- nothing too crazy, alright?”

“Again, no promises.”

Virgil groaned, but he still passed the bag to Remus.

 “Holy shit...”

Remus leaned over the basin of the bathroom sink, drumming his hands on the counter excitedly. He was starry-eyed as he observed the dark, dramatic colors covering his face: metallic emerald-green eyeshadow, excessively long lashes, and winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut a bitch. His lips were black as void, but shimmered like glitter. Everything about the look was dangerous, confrontational, and grim. 

“This is more out there than I’d usually wear, but. Yeah, holy shit.”

Virgil's expression, despite his best efforts, was equally awed as he peered into the mirror. The color around his eyes was mismatched; a lime to moss green gradient over his purple eye, lavender to royal violet over his green one- both colors contrasted by smudged black eyeliner under his eye. His signature Racoon Look had been maintained in that aspect, but it was even more exaggerated. In addition to that, Remus had taken to drawing various little symbols along Virgil's cheekbones, including things like upside-down crosses. Finally, there was the fuchsia lip-gloss, stark against Virgil’s paler-than-normal foundation. 

“It’s okay, I guess,” Virgil breathed reverently. 

“I love it!” Remus crowed, clambering onto the counter just to get a better look at himself. Somehow, he'd already managed to smudge the hell out of his eyeshadow, but it kinda… worked for him, if Virgil was being honest.

“Vee, we have got to do this more often!”

Virgil looked from his reflection to Remus', startled in a way he didn't entirely understand. The intrusive facet met his gaze through the mirror, the smile sliding off his face when Virgil didn’t respond to him.

“Right, Raggedy-Anx? It doesn't have to be this, specifically, if you really don't want to. We could just watch movies together, that's fine. Or we could do anything at all! Right?”

Virgil was still silent, lost in his mind. Remus fell from a kneeling position to sitting with his legs hanging off the counter, turning his back to the mirror.

“Was this a one-time thing? That's alright, too, if you just needed help calming down. I'm not as good as the others, I know, but if they're ever too busy again, you'll think of me when you need help, at least. Right?”

Finally, Virgil snapped out of his daze when he heard the panicked edge to Remus’ voice, feeling his anxiety as Virgil noticed the wild look that had completely erased his giddiness. It was a look that Virgil had seen plenty of times before, when Remus had been ignored far too long and was right about to start ripping things to shreds for some scraps of attention. Only then did Virgil fully recognize what the expression actually meant; the deep, terrified need that swirled behind the look, unsure of how to ask for what it really wanted after so many denials of that very want. 

“Shit, sorry,” Virgil moved to stand in front of him, eye-level to Remus even though he was elevated by the counter, “Hey, it's alright, Re, everything's fine.”

Remus was still trying very determinedly to smile.

“I know! Hell, I’m not the anxious one, I'm the one that makes people anxious,” his laugh sounded like it came from a throat full of broken glass, “I just- I liked this, ya know?”

“I know,” Virgil leaned forward, coaxing Remus' arms away from where he'd wrapped them around himself, “I like this, too.”

Remus let Virgil hold onto him, surprised into something like obedience.

“You? What?”

“I like this,” it wasn't as though Virgil was expecting to hug Remus, but it seemed to have happened on its own as they moved. It was leagues nicer than he could have imagined, despite the smell. “I like you…-r company.”

“That's weird,” Remus' legs curled around Virgil’s waist. Virgil rested his hands on Remus’ hips. He listened as the creative trait's breathing evened out, vaguely aware that the situation was similar to the one just an hour or so before. Except, the roles had been reversed, of course.

“I missed you. I know I never told you, but I missed you.”

Virgil felt guilt, hot and molten, dripping down his throat. He couldn't lie; he hadn't missed Remus when he left. But now he did, in a roundabout sort of way. He missed what could have been, all of the possible understanding and friendship and likely more that he could have had for so long with Remus- all of which he'd let slip by for years. Due to just writing the artist off as disgusting, or unnecessary. 

And perhaps some of that misunderstanding was Remus' fault as well, but Virgil couldn’t find it in himself to hold it against him.

“You don't have to anymore. Miss me, I mean. I'm- fuck, I'm so sorry.”

“Me too,” Remus said, pulling back to settle Virgil with a happy-yet-tearfilled gaze.

“Aw, hey,” he tightened his grip at Remus' hips, smirking, “You're gonna fuck up all my hard work on that eyeliner, Re.”

Remus laughed, loud and shrieky and him, smiling unnaturally and brilliantly wide once again. Virgil's breath caught in his throat- not for the first time that day, he found himself trapped up in that wild, energetic face.

Before Virgil was entirely aware of what he was doing, he was leaning forward, pulling Remus in by the waist. When the cackling finally stopped short, so did he, both much too far and far too close to the Duke. 

He didn't have the chance to explain himself, or apologize, or anything, because soon enough understanding flashed in Remus' eyes.

“Oh, oh yes, oh hell fucking yes.” 

Remus didn’t wait a second longer before closing the distance and smashing his lips against Virgil’s. A startled sound bubbled up in his throat, dying quickly as he acclimated to what was happening. Just as he did, he was reciprocating the kiss. 

Their teeth clashed together uncomfortably, and Virgil was hyper-aware of the threat both his own and Remus’ fangs posed if they weren’t careful, making it far from the perfect first kiss. But he wouldn’t have wanted that anyway, nor would he have expected it. It was, somehow, better. 

Remus' hand dragged down Virgil's back, his fingers fitting onto the notches of the facet’s spine. Virgil shivered, pressing himself flush against the counter (and Remus) and digging his thumbs into the trait’s hips. The motion earned him a beautiful whine from the other as the kiss deepened, growing less awkward and more heated by the second.

Virgil was unaware of how much time was passing, but when they finally parted, both were short of breath and significantly disheveled. Remus had his back pressed up against the mirror, his hair even fuzzier than its usual state, expression dazed and face flushed. From what Virgil could make out in his own reflection, he wasn't much better off. 

Just as soon as they'd separated, Remus' hand was on his face, his thumb dragging just under Anxiety's lip.

“You fucked up your lipstick,” he teased.

“So did you,” Virgil answered with a smirk, leaning into the touch. 

“I guess we'll have to fix it later.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Remus wriggled himself out of his pinned position, twisting around Virgil. He managed to situate himself and drop down from the bathroom counter, his manner suggestive, “Because all I wanna do right now is finish watching Cabin Fever with my new goth boyfriend and makeout during the boring parts.”

“Boyfriend?” Virgil ignored the jolt of warmth he felt at that, determined to stay nonchalant as he (subtly (not subtly)) slipped his hand into Remus’.

“You disagree?” 

Virgil pretended to think it over, leading them to the door and taking his time to click it open. 

“Nah, I don’t disagree,” he said finally, “I think I like the sound of that, actuall- yyyy.”

Virgil stopped short in the open doorway, voice dragging out in his shock. Behind him, he could feel Remus trying to crane around him to see what was happening, but Virgil didn’t move to accommodate him. Well, more accurately, he felt like he couldn’t really move at all, too busy parsing out the scene in front of him.

In the corner of the sectional- sharing a cushion- Janus and Patton sat, the former holding aloft a glass of wine, the latter snacking on a muffin. They sat with their legs tangled together, and had seemed to be engrossed with each other before the interruption. Both had paused mid-conversation to gawk in Virgil's direction, twin deer-in-headlights expressions on their faces. 

“What-” Virgil began, bewildered.

“The fuck?” Remus finished, pushing his way out of the bathroom.

Janus struggled to sit up into a more dignified position and take the reigns of the conversation. It didn't take him long to overcome his surprise at the interruption, his surveying gaze sweeping over the other two Dark Sides contemplatively. The look made Virgil’s skin crawl. 

“You know, we- well, we could ask you two-” he gestured at their interlocked hands, “-just the same question, couldn't we?” 

For a moment, there was silence. Virgil looked from Patton to Janus. Janus looked from Virgil to Remus. Patton looked at the wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Remus looked at everyone and broke the silence.

“You didn't see us,” he announced, sidestepping his way to the staircase and dragging Virgil along with him, “And we didn't see you.” 

Janus squinted, tipped his head, and nodded conspiratorially. 

“Deal.”

With that little grant, Virgil and Remus darted up the stairs and into the sanctuary of the dimly lit hallway as quickly as they could. Luckily for them, Roman was probably either in a deep depression sleep or far into the imagination by now, and Logan Did Not Engage with Interpersonal Drama if he could help it. 

There was a second for appreciating the absurdity of the situation (and catching their breath), before either spoke to each other.

“I’ve got a huge flat screen,” Remus piped up at last, jerking his thumb in the direction of his room. 

“Any of us can conjure literally anything we want at any time, so I'm not sure what's impressive about that.”

Remus scowled, albeit playfully.

“Hush! Come watch someone slowly be consumed by a parasite with me!”

Virgil rolled his eyes and let Remus drag him off, his complaints accompanied by absolutely no efforts to avoid the situation. 

Things were weird, there was no denying that. Maybe they'd end up being that way for a while yet, and Virgil knew he had a lot of news to catch up on, but he found that thoughts like that were way back in his mind. Whatever happened, he reasoned, he would still have this comfort. The arms of someone he was finally coming to know wrapped tight around him, playing up his back, a mouth trailing kisses on his neck as he half-watched horror films. Yes, things would be difficult with the others, but it was secondary.

There was someone on his side now. Solidly, unarguably there for him. With him. And that made it all feel a little bit easier.

[fascinationsublime]

So...

Watching the end of Voltron and rewatching season 6 (part 1 + 2) of Teen Wolf lead me to notice some things:

1. The show starts off much more lighthearted than the later seasons are. -Teen Wolf starts out kind of Twilight-esque. -Voltron was intended to be a kids show -The amount of violence and horror in Teen Wolf in the later seasons is not something found in dumb teen movies -Voltron in the later seasons attempts to address (I’m not saying they do a good job) the mature themes of loss, the horrors of war, mental illness (Keith is maybe suicidal, Lance is dealing with low self esteem, Shiro has PTSD) and sacrifice (Allura obviously but also almost Keith)

2. The plot gets convoluted and there’s too many villains. -Alpha Pack, Theo and the Dread Doctors, Evil Stiles, The Wild Hunt -Who is the main bad guy after Zarkon dies? -While watching Teen Wolf I feel like I should have a list of who leaves and where they go. Did they die or did they just fuck off to Europe I don’t remember

3. QUEER BAITING -I have nothing to say...Jeremy I trusted you!! We had a bonding moment my ass -Honestly Tyler and Dylan were literally on a ship. They were literally cuddling on a ship. Are you telling me that’s not queer baiting? I’m so angry NEXT

4. Kinda representation but not really. UGH you thought I was done? I’m not done.

-I will concede that Teen Wolf does a better job of this but to be fair Teen Wolf is supposed to exist in a world without homophobia. SO! What is Jackson’s sexuality? How the fuck did Jackson and Ethan become a couple? What was up with Liam and Theo in the elevator (also in the last season in general)? Is Stiles Bi? He never answered that woman’s (Katlin’s?) question. Does Derek have to shove Stiles up against walls? -I don’t even have questions to ask because there’s basically no representation. Adam could have been Shiro’s roommate. You wouldn’t even have to change anything. We literally know nothing about the man Shiro ends up marrying and everything we do get is in the last 30 seconds like they slapped it on to keep us from rioting

And the most frustrating part is we know at least some of the animators and directors and creators aren’t afraid of LGBT representation because these are the people who worked on legend of Korra and these are the people that said the show exists in a world without homophobia UGH ANYWAY!

5. For very different shows they have very similar endings. You kinda know where the characters are going in life but there’s still questions unanswered. -What is Theo doing in the tunnels? Scott’s voiceover says he’s an ally but last we saw we didn’t trust him also he was homeless so where is he living? Is he going to stay in Beacon Hills? I’m probably the only one who cares what Theo is doing so let’s move on. Alec. He’s joining the pack so? Is he moving to Beacon Hills? Where’s he gonna live? Are we just trusting Liam with strange werewolves that we adopt? Did Malia ever go to Paris? Did Scott go to college? And is Stiles in the FBI? Or is Monroe more important? Are Lydia and Stiles dating? Is Derek going to move back to Beacon Hills? Is Derek ever going to have a permanent residence? What happened to Danny? That’s not even really about the ending he just disappeared and I have questions! -We never get reunion hugs and I’m mad about it. Lance’s homesickness is a major topic and we never get to see him run slow-mo into his mother’s arms. Ridiculous. Lance just mourns his girlfriend forever? Are you kidding me they were dating for like 5 minutes. What is Coran doing? What about Romelle? And Keith is...alone? Forever? Idk I’ll be honest it was hard to read the postcards through ALL OF MY TEARS ABOUT KLANCE NOT BEING CANON

let’s talk about that

If you haven’t already, put those shipper goggles on because we’re going to talk about Sterek and Klance!

So...Derek and Keith are kinda the same person...and Stiles and Lance are kinda the same person...They got us twice! With the same ship! In all seriousness though I know that Derek and Keith, and Stiles and Lance are not the same people but they’re pretty similar and we’re here to talk about similarities.

D/K: brooding, good in a fight, does not talk about emotions

S/L: will not stop talking, probs bi with a crush on D/K and relentlessly flirts with the girl of their dreams that they have no chance with

And if you look at the course of their relationships they’re basically identical:

Starts off good. S/L knows D/K. (Stiles tells Scott Dereks whole background and Lance can recognize Keith by the back of his head at night with 100% confidence and accuracy) S/L almost immediately accuses D/K of something (Derek of murder and Keith of always trying to one up Lance) Definitely some sexual tension.

A brief interlude for some moments: Bonding Moment™️. We did it. We are a good team. Hey Lance I got your lion back. Leave the math to Pidge. Hey man we all miss Shiro. Pool Scene. (I meant pool scene in reference to Sterek but klance has one too. You see what I mean??) I think you two make a pretty good pair (everyone say thanks Matt). Start the car or I’m going to rip your throat out with my teeth. Sourwolf (yeah we’re gonna take that and run)

Literally save each other’s lives. Would probably die for the other.

Then one of them fucks off (and I scream “WHERE IS D/K I LOVE HIM” for the next 20 episodes)

S/L gets the girl that they’ve been pining over for forever who previously showed literally no interest in him

And then they have a reunion and you think maybe cause the keep having meaningful interactions but NO

Stiles does a spit take when he sees shirtless Derek running through the woods and then he says he got a little excited. Lance checks the hell out of Keith when he comes back 2 years older. Idk what’s real about the FBI op scene (I assume something in between probably closer to Derek’s version) but Stiles went on a dangerous op to save Derek’s ass and then I assume they drove back to Beacon Hills together in Stiles’ shitty Jeep (someone please give me a road trip fic). Keith and Lance have that rooftop scene. They literally watch the sunset together.

So yeah...I don’t know what to do with this information I have found. But it’s interesting.

[rvnjun]

Vampire!Jeno

requested: yes! genre: fluff with minro angst warnings: vampires? shitty friends? pairing: vampire!jeno x human!reader  a/n: whoever requested this, thank you so freaking much, i love aus a/n pt2: so I don't know how to end these things so i'm sorry for the crappy ending. I’m really happy with this but I don't know if it's any good so feedback would be appreciated 

this gif has nothing to do with the story but he looks hot somehow 

There were 2 different types of vampires, those born into it and those who were bitten, the latter being the most common 

Jeno, like many people, were bitten without consent 

He could remember that night very clearly, he wouldn't change it for the world

It may have been a horrible night but it was the night he met you 

There had been these gruesome animals attacks going around, people were showing up killed with their necks sliced and a lots of blood gone

His friends and him, being the idiots they were, decided to would be cool to try and find the thing that was hurting these people

They snuck into the woods and caused a scene 

They were being obnoxious and definitely making any sane animal nearby run away in fear

Until they heard it, it was exactly like in the horror movies

From somewhere behind them a branch broke, they turned their phone lights onto it but nothing was there

That's when Jeno noticed what looked like blood, without thinking he slowly walked towards the spot, being down he tried to get a better look

He heard his friends gasp so he looked up and made eye contact with something inhuman

All of them screamed, they thing lunged at Jeno and bit him

His friends started fighting back, they were throwing punches and anything they could pick up of the ground

The thing let go of Jeno and hurriedly scurried off in pain form the youthful teenagers viscous attacks 

Scared out of their mind they picked Jeno up and called 911, after telling them what they saw and what happened they were called crazy and the operator yelled at them for prank calling

Everyone was panicking, Jeno was bleeding out and they all thought they knew what they saw but no one was going to admit it, to say that one cursed word, vampire 

“Jeno is going to turn into one of those monsters” “Are you saying we kill him or leave him here to die?” “No! I'm just saying, what if he attacks us, you saw what that thing was doing to other humans ” “Guys, let's just leave him here, he will either die or turn into that thing and neither of those is good for us,”

Jeno was out of it but he still heard the conversation very clearly, his friends didn't care about him or trust him 

They all got in the car and drove away, leaving behind a injured,confused, and betrayed Jeno in the woods

That's how he met you 

You had been trying to walk to a convenience store nearby when you heard talking

Stopping you overheard the conversation and immediately you were concerned

You had no clue what they meant by monster, all you knew was that their friends was bitten and they were choosing to leave him here instead of helping him get proper help 

Once you saw the car drive away you ran out from your hiding spot and saw Jeno laying on the ground looking half dead

“Oh my gosh,” you said once you saw all the blood on hi,, Jeno didn't even have the energy to raise his head to see who it was, he just lied there and let you help him

You put pressure on the wound and pulled out your phone

“911, I'm at ************ and there is this boy laying here, he is very injured, there is a lot of blood,,,No I don't know what happened, I found him like the after his friends left him here,,,He isn't responding to my questions,,,,Oh my gosh, Mrs., I think he is dead,,,,Oh my gosh,,,oh my gosh,,,,Mrs., he isn't breathing,,,Mrs., I can't calm down there is a dead guy in my a,,,,what the fuck,,.,,,,how,,,,what?”

Your eyes widen when the kid went from not breathing and bleeding out of all the place to sitting up with no injury

He looked at you with blood red wide eyes

Slowly you hung up the phone and just stared at him

“What,” you simply said in awe

“I don't know whats happening,” he confessed with a worried tone 

“Neither do I, can you tell me how you got bitten, how did it heal?” honestly, you didn't know why you were still sitting on the ground while talking to this guy

You should have stood up and prepared yourself to run, you should have been afraid, but, you couldn't

He was clearly as afraid and confused as you were, you heard what his friends said, he was now alone and his closest friends abandoned him 

You sat and listened closely to his story, once he was done talking you immediately said what he did not want to

“You're a vampire!” you pointed out while leaning in closer to him 

“Vampires,,, are real,, I'm now one of them?” he asked himself before looking up at the sky

“What should I do? How do I tell my parents? Am I going to have a craving for human blood?” he started throwing all these questions at you and you didn't know how to answer 

“I don't know, let's go to the library and do some research,” you had offered while smiling at him

“Oh and I never introduced myself, I'm Y/N,” you stuck out your hand and waited for him to shake it

Jeno smiled and shook your hand with an adorable smile that showed his baby fangs “Jeno, nice to meet you,” he introduced

You and Jeno started on your journey to the public library, but not before stopping at the convenience store to get him some sunblock

Along the way, you talked about many things

Things about your lives, why you weren't and aren't afraid of him, what he should do, how he needed better friends

You weren't so sure how the conversation was smoothly transitioning but you liked it 

Once you got to the library you immediately went to the vampire section, you pulled out multiple books

The next 2 hours were spent with you two reading the books and exchanging information and facts 

You had read in the books that vampires get together in “nests” and help each other but, a lot of vampires were actually kind

Until a librarian approached you two, he was on the taller side and he wore cute spectacles

“Hi there. I just wanted to make sure you two were alright,” he kindly spoke before taking in your sight  

You guys hadn't really paid attention to it before but Jeno was very pale and dead looking while you still  had blood on your shirt 

Hesitantly Jeno nodded, he looked afraid and concerned 

The librarian whose name you read as Johnny didn't seem to believe it 

He smiled and showed his fangs while looking at Jeno

You and Jeno had gasped and slightly backed up

“I'm not the one that turned you. I was just concerned when I saw you two and you guys have been reading books about vampires for a while now,” Johnny said with a soft expression

You and Jeno exchanged glances and chose not to say anything

Johnny noticed this and continued speaking “ Look, I live in a house with others like us, we aren't the bad guys, why don't you come to join us.”

“Are you sure?” Jeno asked, loosening up a little bit

“Of course, now come with me, let me take you there,” he said while turning to walk away “Just you, don't bring the human,” Johnny added 

Jeno looked at you with covered eyes, he didn't want to leave you, not after all of this, not after what you've been through together in the past 4-5 hours 

You stared at Jeno with kind eyes 

“May I have your number?’ Jeno asked causing you to nod, you quickly wrote it down and handed it to him 

Scurrying off he left you behind to clean up all the books but you didn't mind “Be safe,” you quietly mumbled 

It had been a few days since you had your encounter with Jeno, you started to look at people differently, whoever turned him and killed those people was still on the loose

You were walking home, thinking about Jeno and everything that happened in the time span of a few hours when someone jumped out in front of you 

“Delicious,” their voice was sinisterly broken

You instantly knew that they were a vamp and more n likely the one that has been hurting people 

There was a lump in your throat, you didn't know what to say or what to do

You had read about how to protect yourself but you didn't have any of those things on you 

Sneakily pulling out your phone you tried to call 911

“I'm gonna get you,” he said while charging at you at fast speeds

You screamed as loud and has high pitched as you could

His hands grabbed your shoulders as he forced you to hold still

“Jeno,” you screamed for one last time before the man's hand was placed on your mouth 

In a matter of seconds, the man was thrown off of you, your knees gave out below you and you fell to the ground

A strong pair of arms wrapped around you and pulled you into them

You looked up to see your knight in shining armor, Jeno

He gave you an adorable smile

There were some things you could tell about him that had changed, he looked healthier and much stronger 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw people you didn't recognize take down the rogue vampire

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Jeno asked with concerned yes

You shook your head no and looked at him

His arms were still wrapped around you and you were still pressed against him 

His eyes moved to your lips, you could see the want in them

All you wanted to do was close the gap between you 

Your stared at his lips and hoped he would notice

Soon enough, he was leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips you felt sparks fly

“Loverboy, get a room,” one of the good vamps said casing you to pull away

You moved from Jenos embrace and looked at them with wide eyes

There was 3 of them, they all looked nice and friendly

“Haechan shut the fuck up,” the shortest one said before putting the one you now knew as Haechan in a choke hold

One of them started to smile while watching his friends antics, you immediately noticed how bright and friendly he looked 

“Y/n these are my new and improved friends,” Jeno said with a laugh

“You already know haechan, the one choking him is Renjun and the smiling one is Jaemin,”

“Its a pleasure to meet you all,” you politely said

“Same to you, thanks for helping Jeno,” Jaemin said

“yeah and as much as we would like to talk we have to go,” Renjun piped up, he pulled on Haechan and Jaemins sleeves trying to get them to move

Jaemin easily compiled but Haechan put up a fight before giving in with a charming smile 

“You never called me,” Jeno said as soon as the boys had left

“I didn't know what to say and I figured you were busy with your new vampire life,” you confessed while looking at the ground 

“Y/n I would love to be busy with you, I gave you my number for a reason. Since I just kissed you I think you know how I feel,” he said while pulling you back into him 

His arms were wrapped around his waist while yours were wrapped around his neck 

“I like you too Jeno, I want to make this work,” you said while looking into his mesmerizing brown eyes

“Me too,” he said before leaning down and pressing another kiss to your lips

thee end 

[epsilonlaylay-blog]

Why I Hate The Paranormal Activity Franchise

I hate the Paranormal Activity franchise. Someone actually accused me of hating them just because they are popular, which I can’t tell if that’s sarcastic or what. If I hated found footage movies just because they were popular then I wouldn’t like Blair Witch or REC or well there’s countless others. I don’t hate movies based on how popular they are or not I hate movies based on how bad they are, popular or not. I like movies based on how good they are popular or not. Doesn’t matter. A lot of people hate Blair Witch. A lot of people hate the new IT movie. A lot of people hate a lot of things that I like and are also GOOD movies. A lot of people like really BAD horror movies like It Follows and It Comes At Night and A Quiet place. How popular a movie is or isn’t will never, EVER be how I judge movies. That being said, since someone does think I hate those movies just because they are popular which is a stupid idea, I’ll explain why they are, in actuality, very bad movies.

Paranormal Activity One:

Now, the very first one isn’t SUPER bad I mean it’s passable. Though 99% of the scary moments in the first one are jump scares, it was at least a somewhat original concept for the time. The acting isn’t super horrible, at least not from Katie. Everyone else seemed kind of just idiotic or stiff on camera I don’t know. For just a single, stand alone, found footage movie I can say it’s decent. I don’t hate it and I don’t love it. It was a novelty more than anything and had it just been that one movie then I wouldn’t hate the idea so much but it wasn’t just that one movie. It is the best one of the franchise other than the fourth one, I think? The Marked Ones? Which has nothing to do with any of the rest of them (seemingly) and though I wouldn’t call that one awesome either it was far easier to get through than the ones that dealt with the overall story.

Paranormal Activity Two:

This is where it already starts to fall apart. Especially since this family rigged up their entire house with super HD awesome security cameras with sound? Why? Then they have them running constantly to somewhere? Like where is all this footage being recorded and saved? The police found all of it, clearly and kept it. Not only did they keep it, they edited it down to support a full storyline narrative like in the first. All of the movies do this and start (or end) with some message that this is police archive footage or something like that. Why though? Like, if the police did have this footage and it was archived they wouldn’t have edited it into an actual movie that told a story. They may have the events in order but they’d literally only have the events. Stuff that actually happened. They wouldn’t have 90 minutes of pointless fooling around and stupid conversations that don’t pertain to the events at hand. They’d just have what was relevant to the case. If they would even hold onto it at all. The most important footage in each of these movies is when the people are murdered and that’s about it. The rest of it is irrelevant and it even seems by the events of the second movie Katie is wanted for the murder of Micha. Not a ghost. The police would have no need to keep hours and hours of pointless footage archived and edited in such a way that it tells a story to this level. We also start to get into the problem of them having to make shit up to cover their asses because they didn’t think there would be a sequel so a lot of stuff just doesn’t make sense compared to the first movie.

Paranormal Activity Three:

This is the one where they flash back all the way to the 80s with Katie and Kristie as kids. The mother seems utterly unconcerned with most of it and the boyfriend or step father, though he has a crap ton of stuff actually recorded on camera to prove to the mother what he’s saying, he just never shows it to her? Like he brings up, repeatedly that something is going on in the house or there are ghosts or demons or something but he never shows her the footage of what he’s talking about. He always just shows her something else. Plus, it’s the 80s but he has like 8 different cameras, they are recording all the time, the quality is HD, I mean come on. He’d literally have boxes and boxes and BOXES of tapes if he was recording that much and if he was recording over other stuff that he already filmed the quality of the footage would in no way be as good as what was presented to us. Then we have that stupid ending where the girls are like getting married to the demon or something? And there’s a witch coven? Like you lost me there. It’s just getting dumber and dumber. At least the kids were decent actors (usually children can’t act for shit) so…I mean it was kind of watchable but it was more unintentionally hilarious than scary.

Paranormal Activity Four:

So then we have this one which starts out with a random family that seems to be totally not connected to the main story at all. Until you find out that the main girl’s brother is adopted and he actually is Hunter or something. The baby from the first or second movie, whatever, that Katie kidnapped from Kristie. For some reason. Like I guess he’s the Toby ghost or supposed to have Toby inside of him or get possessed by Toby or…whatever the case may be you can rest assured that it makes no sense. Once again we have the problem of cameras recording ALL the time, with no feasible way to save the footage. Then we have the problem of the family knowing this is the case and just NEVER CHECKING THE FOOTAGE. I mean at a certain point they just stop checking it. There, that’s it. They know there’s a ghost, the girl knows she has proof on camera, she just decides to NEVER show her dad and the dad NEVER wants to listen even though they all set up the cameras in the first place to catch this fucking ghost. Then at the very end the dad tells the girl to go get help and she literally carries her fucking laptop, while filming her, across the street, to get help…like UGH none of these people even act the way normal humans would act in this situation. Especially not carrying a fucking laptop with them to film something while they get help. Give me a damn break.

Paranormal Activity 5 (The Marked ones):

Okay to be fair I only saw this one once, like the others, and I don’t remember it having freaking anything to do with the main story. If it was a prequel or what. I don’t feel like looking it up either. It was about some hispanic (possibly Mexican) kids who were getting possessed or paranormally attacked by I guess the same ghost or demon or whatever that’s part of the main story. Works well as a stand alone and other than the first movie it’s the most decent one to watch but that’s not really saying much I just hate it the least out of all the rest of them. Moving on. If this does have something to do with all the rest of them and the main story, feel free to remind me or explain how because I really don’t remember them being connected to each other in any way and I fully admit right now I might be wrong.

Paranormal Activity Ghost Dimension:

This is the last one in the series, hopefully forever. I don’t even know how they got to 6 movies but this one did make the least amount of money and then Oren Peli (the guy who created this abortion of a franchise) claimed that this was how it was supposed to end and what he had planned all along and what he wanted and blah blah blah bullshit lip service. Which can’t possibly be true. If it is true then he’s admitting that he had a shitty nonsensical open ending planned the ENTIRE TIME. I think they just ran out of funding and the movies were tanking at the box office and he had to pretend this is the ending he wanted.

Once again this is seemingly a random family that has nothing to do with anything that they vaguely connect to the main story. It was also in 3D and I will admit the 3D effects were cool but that’s about all it had going for it. Like if you don’t see it in 3D and you don’t see it in the theaters I can’t imagine it’s any good. Like literally ALL of the rest of the films it relies heavily on jump scares and only on jump scares and of course the really cool 3D effects which only actually are cool if you can see them in a theater and in 3D and then there’s some stupid ending about the main little girl Leila and her mom going back in time and getting married to Toby the demon or something, the END.

So if it isn’t apparent why I hate these movies I’ll give it to you in summary:

1. They rely on the very cheap gimmick of found footage because they don’t want to work on an actual plot or really hire good actors. Low budget means higher box office profit.

2. 99% of every scare in every movie is a jump scare. They even use this low frequency vibration noise that is somewhat undetectable by most humans and makes them “uneasy” except if you’ve seen 1000 of these movies that only rely on jump scares then you can pretty much tell when a jump scare is about to happen so you are probably immune to that trick. I guess most regular movie going idiots aren’t so they are basically tricked into thinking it’s scary because of an involuntary response that their body has to low frequency noises. Yeah, if you need to jam that into your horror movie? It’s not good.

3. The only reason the first one got so big in the first place was the old “This movie is too scary for general audiences you can’t see this movie” trick where they made people DEMAND to see it via some website. Except that was all just a gimmick, as I said. The movie was scheduled for a wide release anyway. Once again, if you are relying on gimmicks to get people in the seats instead of the quality of your actual movie it’s not going to be a good movie.

Though the first movie is decent that’s about all it is. Decent. People complain that nothing happens in The Blair Witch project and that’s why it “Sucks” but even less happens in these movies and they’ve had 6 of them now. These are objectively worse than the first Blair witch and has much larger following. Why? I have no idea. The story lines in all of them are dumbed down for audiences to a high level. It’s clear that each time they got green lit for a new sequel they shat their pants and forgot what they even did in the last one and had to quickly make up for it by doing an awful rush job that barely held the movies together via a very paper thin plot.

I’m not even against telling a story in flashbacks if it’s done right and attention is paid to details and it makes sense. I mean as bad as the Saw movies can be in some areas and I will admit that, they at least tried a fuck ton harder to try to make them connect WAY more coherently than the Paranormal Activity movies. Whoever they hired for continuity for the Saw movies did their job. Whoever they hired for the Paranormal Activity movies was either high or didn’t give a fuck. I doubt the studios did either as this was a cash cow for them so as long as people went to see these movies they didn’t care how good they were.

At the end of the day, these are just really bad movies. They rely on gimmicks and jump scares. That’s it. If you need to be TOLD how scary a movie is, literally in the advertising, and once you get in there 99% of the scares are loud noises, then what has been accomplished? What have you just spent your money on? Long running franchises can be good and profitable if people actually put some kind of care into making them. That’s what makes the first 6 Saw movies really good together (and literally nothing after that they should have ended at 6). It is not impossible to make a good horror franchise that people love if you take your time and make sure everything makes sense. That was not done with these movies, and it’s obvious. I’m glad they are over now and have no foreseeable future because they don’t deserve it.

[elizas-writing]

We’re about 3 months away until the long anticipated release of the one, the only, the extraordinary, Kingdom Hearts III! Almost 14 years of waiting with about a dozen side games and HD re-releases are finally building up to this grand moment for video game fans. And like most other fans out there, I needed a serious catch up to remember all the convoluted lore and relive all the good times and bad with our favorite Keyblade wielders and Disney team members.

Since I don’t have all of the games on hand, much less the time to play the ones I own, I went to the wonderful world of YouTube and over the course of two months binged through about 30 hours of content, right from the very beginning! It was so much fun to relive all the series highlights, finally watch the newer content in the HD re-releases, and pick up on the little details I missed the first time around. And I thought I’d share some of the wonderful thoughts going on in my head during my binge.

Without further ado, here are Eliza’s silly but honest taglines, asides, observations, and comments of the Kingdom Hearts series!

Kingdom Hearts

The OG most ambitious crossover

I’ve been in this world for three hours and CAN’T FIND THE NEXT CHECKPOINT.

I know we jab at Chain of Memories for its awful gameplay, but I legit-erally didn’t finish the Atlantica world cause I had no idea where the fuck to go next. Even for a 2002 game, the mechanics were a nightmare sometimes.

Sometimes having every other world set up like a labyrinth is too much work than it’s worth.

Seriously, you have to talk to Aerith a million times to get Curaga. How the fuck were you supposed to know that without the Internet or a strategy guide??

Came for the bizarre mix of Disney and Final Fantasy– stayed for the characters and mildly convoluted story.

Just gonna add this in with the other “the power of friendship” crap I love.

  Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

Worst. Fucking. Fighting. System. EVER.

You ever wonder how the board meeting went for this game?

“So it’s, like, 50% the same game again, but shitty.”

I’m here to button mash, not strategize like Magic the fucking Gathering

This is the one where all the hot villains show up, right?

Just don’t let Axel’s bad boy facade fool you. He’s a finger guns bisexual with bad dad jokes.

10/10 will steal your girlfriend, boyfriend and nonbinary significant other

Every time someone says “memory,” take a shot.

Also, are we never gonna talk about where Pluto went with that letter? Are we supposed to accept he just comes and goes however he pleases?

  Kingdom Hearts II

The best one. You can’t change my mind.

One man’s convoluted revenge scheme at the cost of, like, 5 teenagers’ mental well-beings.

I’ve only known Roxas for 6 days, but if anything happens to him, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.

So Ansem wasn’t really Ansem. You see, he was this scientist’s apprentice who– aaaaaand I’m lost.

If your fandom experience at this point didn’t include calling Xemnas “Mansex” or listening to Dr. Bombay’s “My Sitar” to cope with Demyx’s 2nd boss battle, you did it all wrong.

We all made fun of Demyx for needing a notecard for his mission, but my work desk is a cluster of reminders and sticky notes, so I can’t judge anymore.

The beginning of the longest, most painful wait for a sequel.

I’m sure Haley Joel Osment is a chill dude, but who the fuck allowed him to sing?

  Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days

Area Man Tries to Balance Life Between Work, Broken Marriage, and Two Adopted Kids in Existential Crises

Spoiler Alert: It ends horribly for everyone involved

When the realization set in that he became a father

Saix being a bitch

Family drama

Seriously, Saix, the last time I saw a man this pissy about his friend spending time with someone else was The Road to El Dorado. And Tulio and Miguel were supposed to be a gay couple.

Well, that was a depressing ass backstory on why Roxas has two Keyblades

“Who am I?!”

Anyone out there still calling Xion a Mary Sue better apologize to my daughter in the next five seconds.

The Organization’s HR complaint box probably looks like a tornado blew through it…

At least they seem to have good enough health insurance since their youngest members tend to fall into month long comas.

  Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

Remember when Xehanort was a scientist’s apprentice who went AWOL? Think again, bitch!

The point where you realize this is all just a long, cruel, brutal DnD campaign

It’s best if you just don’t get emotionally invested in any of the characters. No one has a happy ending.

How one man’s total lack of self-awareness and critical thought dooms the universe

No, seriously, I’m sorry, Terra is a massive idiot. Master Xehanort doesn’t even have to try hard to manipulate Terra; he’s just that goddamn dense and does a lot of stupid shit on his own. These are facts.

I can’t even handle the secondhand embarrassment of his Neverland visit where he thinks Peter Pan is after the light when he was guarding a literal treasure chest, like, that’s just too dumb.

I still love him and wish him a wonderful redemption, and he definitely didn’t deserve losing his friends, family and his free will, but there were so many avoidable stupid disasters if he didn’t just blindly trust the wrong people.

Terra is the physical embodiment of “I am not a clever man.”

Forget the darkness in his heart– I’m more concerned about how many worms are eating his brain.

Terra, this bitch just asked you to cut out the heart of a 14-year-old girl, and you just went “chill.” Did you already forget your last oopsie with Aurora?

Loving mother left to clean up her husband and son’s messes…. all of them…

She’s about a couple steps away from becoming a wine mom to get through this shit.

As you can see, the main difference between Ventus and Roxas is that one is a literal ray of sunshine who did nothing wrong, and the other is a mass of anxiety who says “fuck” more often than he’s allowed to.

  Kingdom Hearts: Coded

The one everyone forgets existed.

Guys, I just wanted to know what Mickey’s letter said. I didn’t ask for another whirlwind adventure.

The most outrageous excuse for a midquel, but dammit that last bit in Castle Oblivion… I’m gonna need a moment to recollect myself.

Yeah, if this bit didn’t get you emotional, get out of my house.

What do you fucking mean Xehanort isn’t fucking dead??

  Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance

Wait a minute, all Terra and Aqua had to do for their Mark of Mastery was hit some balls and spar each other. Why do Sora and Riku need to go through coma nightmares and fever dreams??

Just… just give up questioning the lore…

So Ansem the Wise made a copy of his computer, and that’s a sleeping world where Jeff Bridges exists, I– I’m done.

And if this didn’t break your heart just a little bit, we can’t be friends.

Had the potential to just be Kingdom Hearts III if Nomura wasn’t too deep in perfecting those renders

We’re gathered here today in the bonds of just a couple of guys being dudes.

But seriously, there is zero heterosexual explanation behind Sora and Riku’s Sound Ideas coming together to make “Dearly Beloved.”

So is Ienzo really gonna gloss over the fact Lea stood by while a clone sucked out his life force? … Okay…

I’m still bothered by the fact Young Xehanort and Haida from Aggretsuko have the same English voice actor, because they’re total opposite energies.

  Kingdom Hearts X [chi] Back Cover

“Traitor!”– Ben Solo-Organa, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

I’m surprised no one took a step back and said “Guys, maybe the Master was fucking insane and trying to dupe us all with this Book of Prophecies shit.”

I’m sorry, I can’t trust anything the guy says or does. He put his FUCKING EYEBALL IN A KEYBLADE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES.

Not to mention, he purposefully made them keep their roles a secret from each other which made misunderstandings pile on top of each other, like, dude!

I’m sticking to the theory that there was never a traitor, and he just pulled this out of his ass for the drama of it all.

Does no one in these games sit down and talk through their problems like normal people do? Again, worms in the brains…

Friendly reminder that cute Keyblade wielder avatar you made likely died in the Keyblade War.

I have nowhere near enough time to wade through like 900 quests worth of content in an ongoing game, and I don’t know how much I’ll need for Kingdom Hearts III…

Like, apparently Ven time traveled?? The fuck??

“What’s in the box?!”

  Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep A Fragmentary Passage

If you thought that title was a mouthful, wait for the onslaught of feelings!

“The things I do for love.”– Courage, Courage the Cowardly Dog

The most beautiful and emotional game demo in the universe

I wanna eat all the rocks

I just want my wife to come home and be able to rest.

“Please, God, just let me have one good day?”

“Oh my God, you again?? Give it a rest buddy!”

Kingdom Hearts III is RIGHT there! I can see it, I can taste it, I can smell it, it’s so goddamn close that I can hear the angelic choir singing Kumbaya. I haven’t been teased this bad since BBC Sherlock series 3.

  Kingdom Hearts III (based on all current information from trailers and conventions)

You get Norted, and YOU get Norted! Everyone gets Norted!!

Impractical zippers and belts are so 2005. Now everything is about plaid and excess buttons.

“I want to see my little boy (Here he comes) I want to see my little boy!”

What is he doing? His best. Also, get a load of the detail work on his hands.

Xion and Naminé are on the box art, so they have to be in the game, BUT WHY AREN’T THEY IN THE TRAILERS YET? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTERS?

“The ending is going to be difficult for fans to handle.” I’m sorry, Nomura, but I forgot how to read for a moment there and will be in a horrible state of denial for the next three months.

If you’re calling that Heartless doll your waifu, congratulations, you’d be the first to die in a horror movie.

For fuck’s sake, it’s emitting black smoke and has the penetrating eyes of death. It must be burned.

And there you have it, folks! Most every silly thought that went through my wonderful brain through my Kingdom Hearts binge! It was worth putting off many of my other shows to refresh my memory on the lore— as contrived as it is multiple times—, see all my favorite characters, relive the greatest moments, and get pumped for what’ll come next in Kingdom Hearts III. I can already tell it’s going to be a great one, and I can’t wait to start playing!

Funny Observations of the #KingdomHearts Series We're about 3 months away until the long anticipated release of the one, the only, the extraordinary, Kingdom Hearts III!

[sweetpeatrashxo]

2 + 1 = 3: C.G**

So I forgot to put this one on the list, but this one is a basic smut that turns bad a couple months later. But hope ya enjoy. Requests are still open click here so now onto the warnings and shit.

Warning: Sexual content, swearing, and more Gallagher stuff I can’t think of.

You and Carl have been quite the duo since as long as you can remember, yeah you two argued but fuck what friends don’t. But today was different, Carl broke the news that your current boyfriend Harry was cheating on you. You didn’t believe it, until Carl dragged you over near the L where you both saw Harry and Holy basically fucking on the park. Your body filled with rage as you walked over there, you yelled “You fucking lying, cheating, small dick, shitty personality cunt.” Carl walked behind you with a distance knowing what’s about to unfold in front of him. You said “What the fuck.” Harry laughed “About time.” You didn’t let him finish, you swung at him hitting him in the jaw, you watched as he fell to the ground, Holly looked up in horror as she knew she was next.

You grabbed Holly by her hair throwing her to the ground and started hitting her, you heard Carl yell at you to stop but you kept going. You soon felt a pair of hands pull you away from her, you looked at her then Harry and spat “I hope you two rot in hell.” You felt Carl dragging you away, once you two got a safe distance from where the drama unfolded you felt yourself fall to the ground, you started crying not knowing how to feel. You felt Carl’s arm wrap around you, you laid your head into his shoulder and continued to cry. After 20 minutes of crying about it, you got up, brushed yourself off and said “Lets go drink.” Carl being well Carl he didn’t turn down the offer.

You both headed back to your house which was only a block away from the L and about 3 blocks from the Gallagher home, Carl asked “Aren’t your parents gonna be angry I’m here?” You smirked “They’re on vacation to Fiji for a month they won’t be back till like the 3rd of next month.” You grabbed your keys out of your pocket, unlocked the door and let yourself and Carl in, as you closed the door you locked it as you know your drunken as would leave the house if you didn’t. You walked over to the fully stocked mini bar in the lounge room, you grabbed two beers and sat down turning on the TV as Carl sat down next to you. You said passing him his beer “What do you wanna watch?” He laughed “Throw something on that’s on Netflix.” You opened Netflix and chose the first movie there which ended up being Blue is the warmest color, you’ve already seen it, but it was a good movie so you didn’t mind watching it again.

You sat there beside Carl sipping your beer when the first sex scene came up, you watched and giggled to yourself as Carl started squirming, by the 3rd beer you felt yourself become confident, as the movie proceeded you noticed Carl getting more and more tense. You turned off the movie because by this time you couldn’t read the stupid subtitles, you loved the movie but why couldn’t there be a fucking English one. You turned to him “You okay C?” As long as you can remember you’ve liked this guy, but no one knew, he spoke up “Yeah, just hard not to get a hard on when watching movies with sex scenes in them.” He chugged his 5th beer down as I finished mine, he continued “And well all I can think of is you naked.”

You felt your drunk self move over towards him and sit on his lap, god you disliked yourself drunk, Carl said “Ah, Y/N you sure you wanna sit there?” You stuttered “C, I um have a crush on you.” Before you could continue he crashed his lips into yours, your lips were mixing perfectly together, you felt his hands creep up your back then back down. You started slowly grinding on him, he had his hands on your waist guiding you, you pulled back lifting his shirt over his head as he done the same to you, you looked down at his as he picked you up and walked to your room, he placed you on your bed softly before pouncing above you faster than a Lion going for it’s pray.

You felt his hands go up the side of your body, you lifted your back up allowing him to unclasp your bra with one hand. He took it off throwing it somewhere, he sat back and admired your torso are, you went red as he said “You’re... You’re beautiful.” He leaned down connecting his lips with yours, he kissed his way down to your jaw line, left sloppy kissed then attached his mouth to your neck finding you sweet spot almost instantly, you gasped as he sucked on your neck and fondled with your boobs. He pulled back pulling down your shorts and panties, after they were thrown away he went straight for your inner thighs. He connected his lips with your heat, kissing and sucking, you moaned “Fuck Carl.” You grabbed a handful of his hair forcing him more into your inner thigh area. He added a finger and started pumping as he sucked on your clit, you pulled him back and pulled him up to have his lips meet yours.

You pulled back and ordered “Lay down my turn.” He obeyed, you pulled his pants down along with his boxers and watched as his dick sprung up and hit him in his stomach. You let your hand guide up and down it before you connected your lips with his tip, lighting touching it with your tongue Carl grabbed a fist full of your hair and forced you down causing you to gag as you deep-throated him. He moaned “Fuck.” You started going faster when he pulled you off and flipped you two over, then he lined himself up, he looked up at you to make sure. You both knew it wasn’t either of your first times but Carl has always been a caring kid. You nodded as he thrusted in causing a gasp to leave your mouth, within seconds you were moaning Carl’s name, as he was picking up his speed hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

You screamed his name, then moaned “Carl, I’m gonna cum.” You felt him slightly twitch as he said “So am I.” You both let your highs go, you rode off your highs. Carl flopped down beside you out of breath “I, um, have a crush on you too Y/N.” You rolled over and put your head on his chest, you wanted to make him yours but after Dominique you knew he wasn’t ready for another relationship. You two fell asleep like that.

ONE MONTH LATER

It’s been a month since you and Carl fucked, it hasn’t changed anything, it was odd that the friendship just kept going as is even tho you two remember what happened and what was said. You were walking around your house waiting for your parents to arrive home, when you felt like you were going to vomit, you ran to the bathroom as fast as you could and leaned over the toilet bowl vomiting what you have for dinner up. You sat back and realized that your period was due 2 weeks ago. You mumbled “Fuck I’m late.” You didn’t think much of it till you vomited again, you thought ‘Did we use a condom?’ You mind went back to that night and you realized Carl didn’t put one on.

You reached over to the cupboard that was under your sink to grab the emergency pregnancy tests. You pulled on out, you flushed the toilet letting your vomit go down the drain, you peed on the stick and sat it beside the sink. You were pacing around the bathroom when you heard your parents walk in yelling “Y/N, we’re home.” You yelled back out “Yeah just using the toilet be out soon.” You looked at the test after what felt like 5 minutes and noticed the two lines indicating that you were pregnant. You instantly called Carl, he picked up after two rings “Hey Y/N what’s up?” You said “I need to talk to you can I come over?” He said “Yeah, everything alright?” You sighed “I’ll tell you when I get there.” You walked out shoving the stick into your pocket, you walked out greeting your parents, you said “I’m going out with friends for a bit, I’ll be back in a couple hours.” Your mother said “Alright be safe.” You walked back to your room and changed out of your pj’s, threw your shoes on and walked towards the Gallagher home.

You walked in as if it was your own house, you were greeted to no noise, you walked upstairs and into Carl’s room to see him looking at his phone. You sighed and shut the door as his head snapped up to look you, he stood straight up and hugged you “Are you alright? You look like you just vomited your guts up and saw a ghost at the same time.” You sighed “Sit down C.” He sat down, you sat beside him pulling out the pregnancy test out of your pocket and passing it to him. Silence fell the room as Carl examined the stick, he broke the silence “You’re pregnant... With..” You stuttered “Yeah with yours.” He stood up and paced a bit trying to figure out what to say when he blurted out with a huge grin “I’m gonna be a dad.”

You said “Carl, think for a second, two 16 year olds with a kid.” He sighed “I know but like I want a baby, I don’t care if we’re 16 or 30. I want a kid. With you.” You were shocked at what Carl was saying, but also happy that he is fine with it. He said “Fiona is gonna kill us and so are your parents but oh well. I’m happy with it are you?” You smiled “As long as you are I am.”

All I gotta say about the whole telling Fiona and my parent was a lecture off both as we expected, but well my parents killed me out and the Gallaghers took me in. At least Fi had more faith in me and Carl then she did with Debs, but she knew I was responsible and Carl was still working at Patsy’s. So we were able to fund for out baby.

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

So, you’ve made it to full trimester and everything was going fine, you and Carl were gonna welcome you little baby girl to this world soon. But you and Carl were still wondering when that was gonna be, her due date is in a week and you didn’t think there was any signs of her coming out soon. You yelled out “Carl.” He ran in “Yeah what’s up babe?” You smiled “Be a sweetie and run your girlfriend and princess a bath?” He rolled his eyes entering the bathroom filling up the bath as you grabbed your clean clothes and a towel. You opened the door to see Carl sitting in the bath, he smiled “I was making sure it was warm enough now get in family bath time.” You laughed, undressing yourself and hoping in. You and Carl sat there talking to your baby girl about how excited you two were to meet her.

You stood up to get out of the bath after Carl hoped out, he looked back making sure you were ok, once you stood up straight to felt water flush out then pain. You shut your eyes tight and mumbled “Fuck.” You said “Carl help me out of the bath and get dressed we may have this little. Ow! Coming today.” He started rushing around grabbing your towel, then grabbing your clothes. He dressed you and helped walk you out, then walked you down the stairs as you laid on the lounge having contractions for what felt like ever 5 minutes. Carl yelled “Fi!” Fi ran down the stairs “Is it Y/N? She having the baby?” Carl nodded as you yelled in pain “What the fuck.” Lip said “I’ll get V.” 5 seconds later V, Kev and Svetlana came in, you said “Why am I getting contractions so many times?” Svet said “Let me look.” She removed the clothing in the way showing that you have already dilated 9cm, she announced “Baby come soon.” You punched Carl and he winced in paid “What was that for?” You growled “Don’t let me get drunk with you again.” Lip and Ian laughed, Lip said “Or at least have contraception.” You threatened “I’ll punch you too Phillip.” You yelped as a contraction hit you again, you watched as Svetlana looked and V looked “Oh well, you may as well push.”

Svet yelled “Get towels.” You watched as 3 guys scatter to grab towels and lay them in front of you. You grabbed Carl’s hand as you started pushing, you screamed and Fi done exactly what she done when Debs was giving birth which was scream too. Moments later, you heard crying, Kev said “Father of baby Gallagher come cut the cord thingy.” Carl walked over and said “Scissor please.” He grabbed the end of the cord and cut, you sat up and watched as your boyfriend wrapped your kid in a blanket. You leaned back on the lounge as Carl walked over to you and passed you your newly born daughter. Carl sat beside you, you leaned your head on his shoulder.

It was a peaceful silence until you and Carl said at the same time “She’s beautiful.” Carl said “So babe what are we gonna name her? Annabella or Isobel?” You smiled “Which one did you want again? Isobel?” He nodded as you continued “Isobel Louise Gallagher.” Fi said “Are we gonna call an ambulance this time?” You sighed “As much as I’d hate to go I guess you’re gonna have to.” 

Request are open, the link is at the top of the imagine. But here’s the masterlist too :))) Masterlist

[mentcrmoved]

I’ve been meaning to do this since the Assassins Creed movie came out on DVD, but I kinda didn’t think to do it until I was watching it last night. So, at long last, I’m giving my Official critic of the movie, while also discussing some points of interest.

Thus, I give you, Murphy’s Official Assassins Creed Movie Critic. (part one)

This is gonna be quite the post (including pictures!) so it’s obviously under a read more. It will probably take me a few hours to write & maybe an hour to read. Ya’ll been warned. It will also, obviously, contain spoilers so if you don’t want that shit then I suggest not reading this. Overall, these are my thoughts, as an Assassins Creed fan, on the movie & if you don’t agree, think I’m crazy, etc. I really do not give a care. 

Anyway, here we are, enjoy if you can, & of course I’d dig some feedback/discussion.

Okay so first I want to start off by saying that, as a movie in itself, Assassins Creed was pretty great. It wasn’t revolutionary or anything super special, but the effects & the production was pretty good, in my opinion. From the perspective of a person not familiar with the games it’s easy to follow & not overly complicated. It was, as a movie, decent.

As a movie representing a 10-year-old franchise that has 10 years of established canon and development and complexities the movie was an utter fucking mess. In my opinion. Also, a personal bias, I really do not like Michael Fassbender so that was an immediate -10 in my book. But, because I’m such a wonderful person, I’ll look past that & say that Michael Fassbender was okay & as the movie progressed my desire to punch him in the face lessened.

So, here we go, from the top, first scene in the movie was awful.

As a huge fan (ya’ll know this) of Altair this really made me angry. First of all I’d like to make the point that Altair died in 1257, & that the historical parts of the movie take place in 1492. Secondly, & I don’t think I have to remind anyone of this, Altair, using the Apple of Eden, wrote the Codex... during his time (despite the continuity issues in the first game) the ring finger was cut off to enable the use of the hidden blade, but with the Apple he devised a new design that made this morbid little ritual unnecessary, as we learn in the second game.

Now, they could just be doing it as a ritual of tradition, but I don’t see why, considering that about 3 years earlier Ezio was inducted into the Order in Italy & their ritual involved branding the finger not cutting it off. It could just be a communication issue, but considering the amount of time that passed & the proximity of Spain to Italy I find that unlikely.

Thus this is kind of... stupid, & before someone says it’s because they wanted continuity for non-gamers lemme just say that this little piece of information isn’t important in the grand scheme of understanding the assassins creed world. They could just as easily branded the finger or done nothing at all, & since this blatantly ignores canon what was the point of adding it anyway?

So far, not impressed.

Next order of business, this scene:

Jesus, when I first saw the movie I was like ??? what is going on here why did he kill her? Then he was like ‘they found us’ & I kinda understood & then I was just... appalled by how they portray the assassins from the getgo. Firstly, when I saw this scene the second time all I could think of was how sad Rebecca would have been hearing about this. Two perfectly good assassins, one of them dead at the hand of her partner to avoid capture, & the other captured, orphaning a son.

& knowing all that we do about how small the brotherhood’s numbers are this makes zero sense. Why kill her (death before dishonor maybe?) when you could just as easily get your son & run? This isn’t the assassin way! This isn’t what assassins do! Assassins don’t just lay down & take what’s coming, they don’t sit complacent to a world that needs to be saved. They don’t just accept death! This isn’t the assassin brotherhood! This isn’t right!

Now, a reasonable explanation might be (& I have theories about this) that where they were living is like where Desmond grew up: it was a ‘safe’ community made up of assassins trying to live on the down low. I think this is reasonable because of this concept art:

In the background, behind Cal on his bike, are hooded figures that look a lot like the guy who we can assume is his dad. I don’t think they’re Templars because if you look past his dad there’s the jeeps & you can already see a guy standing out with a gun like in the movie. So maybe this was a community, though if that’s true that still raises a bunch of questions, like why didn’t they all run, & if only Cal’s dad knew about it why didn’t he say anything to the others?

& if it was a death before dishonor sort of thing why didn’t he slit his own throat when the Templars found him? Why not kill Cal too? Of course, I guess it’s implied that Cal’s mom wasn’t aware when she died, that his dad took her by surprise by stabbing her in the back. But still that raises the question, why? Why kill her then allow yourself to be captured? Why kill her then tell your son to run if you intended to be captured? & if they really were living among assassins why wasn’t there more to this? Why wasn’t anyone fighting?

Watching this scene I just want to scream why repeatedly at the screen, because I just do not understand any of it. & when I try to explain what’s going on to myself it just makes things worse, introducing new questions. So, as far as I’m concerned, this is just a tragic backstory made specifically to build the type of character they wanted Cal to be, which I think is shitty mostly because I think Cal is a shitty character in general.

My only comment about the next scene is that Cal is seriously fucked in the head.

Also, why are literally all assassins decent artists? Is it a genetic thing?

Next, the ever classic “I woke up in a strange place with a needle in my arm so don’t mind me while I rip that little shit right out & make a beeline for the door” scene. &, of course, I wonder why he runs? There is literally no threat? What does he think this is, an episode of the Twilight Zone? You’re a paranoid fucker, aren’t you Cal?

My next thing is, if Aguilar had his finger cutoff how can Cal wear his blades?

Like I understand it is very likely Abstergo modified them, but I still feel like they should have explained that? Because I’m pretty sure there was some perceptive non-gamer in the theater wondering how the fuck Cal could wear them without cutting his own finger off? & why the fuck, if Aguilar had two blades, did they only cut off the finger on one hand? I smell so many continuity issues here it’s not even funny. But I can hear your thoughts: oh Murphy now you’re just nitpicking at the small details shut up. As an aspiring director & screenwriter, as a lover of film, I’m nitpicking at this because there’s someone in the crowd who did too. This sort of thing shouldn’t be left unsaid, even if it is “obvious”.

Now, my thoughts on the Animus: cool af, like legit. I imagine Rebecca looking at it & yelling “what did you do to baby??” with either utter horror or excited surprise. It’s an amusing image, you should try picturing it in your head. I’m not gonna complain about continuity here because its 2016 in the movie & Desmond died in 2012 so Abstergo has probably upgraded a lot. Also, this makes the historic scenes a lot more exciting.

Plus, look at the lighting! This is literally so aesthetically pleasing.

The next historic scene is pretty epic, though I was yelling at the assassins for dying in the fight because guys ??? what are you stormtroopers? I don’t really have any critics about the fight scene because the choreography was amazing, I mean the scene during the chase where Maria fucking backflips off the rock to get behind the Templar? Hot as hell.

Plus, can we just appreciate that they fulfilled the ONE thing that all games share? That one fucking mission where you’re chasing someone in a carriage/cart/on horesback & it takes you five tries to do without dying! I was really happy about this.

Now, the next thing I’m about to share is something I was literally screaming about after I saw the movie. When this scene played out, as short as it was, I was excited af. I knew immediately what I was seeing & that made me very happy. Of course, this was all theory until I got the DVD & watched it... which confirmed my wildest hopes.

Do you see this book? The one Sophie is reading? Do you see how it’s written in Arabic? Do you see how thick it is, the drawing, the little notes scrawled in the corners? DO YOU SEE? Because THIS is Altair’s motherfucking codex. They put his fucking codex in the movie! Sure, it’s a tiny easter egg that you can’t be sure of on the big screen but... I knew it. They put it in. Altair exists! This literally made me so happy last night when I paused the movie I was screaming, like not even in my head I was physically screaming & my mom came upstairs to make sure I was okay.

Plus, even if this ISN’T what I think it is, among the pages Sophie has put up around the apples figures there seems to be at least two written in Arabic. So I have high hopes.

Well, I think I should end on that good note. As I said, I’m open to feedback & discussion! &, as for the rest of the movie, I’ll get into that in a different post so it’s not all jam-packed in one long ass post. Either way, here we have it!