#“who has the potential to be something more and who is destined to be just a background character” | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

baeshijima · 1 year ago

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— hsr men in a royalty au

INCLUDES : blade ; dan heng ; gepard ; jing yuan ; luocha ; sampo + gn!reader

A/N : what started off as a duke!blade word vomit became a hsr royalty au brain dump. sighs. also once again pushing my knight!reader agenda bc the lack of royalty aus with knight!reader is criminal.

genshin ver.

imagine you're the personal guard for emperor!jing yuan, picked by his hand when he was still just a mere crown prince learning the ropes of what it meant to rule an empire. in truth, there's not much for you to do other than stand close behind when in public settings or indulge in his whimsical nature when in private and within the confines of the palace walls. in spite of that, you can't help but to wonder whether it's necessary to be his partner when he practises ballroom dances, despite never actually dancing in the banquets. well, who are you to question your duties, right?

there is no destination without a journey; jing yuan would know this best. having been thrust onto a pedestal from young, he's witnessed more types of people than he can count on his fingers: those who act nice in order to gain, those whose eyes cannot hide their contempt, those who are kind out of fear, those who act on behalf of others, those who hold respect without ulterior motives... he has seen them all. his view of the world grew dull, the predictability of those around him bringing only disappointment to the young heir. the days passed in a blur with nothing of note, other than a lingering emptiness which kept him awake at night and a passion which only emerges when sparring with his instructor. and so when he was told it was time to choose a personal knight after countless assassination attempts, he trudged through the halls with poise ingrained into his stride and a blank gaze reflecting his thoughts. but when he arrived at the training grounds to oversee the potential candidates his attention was immediately seized by another, his usually stagnant heart thundering. for the first time in his life, jing yuan discovered what it meant to want something as he watched you strike your training sword against your opponent, his world bursting into colours he never knew existed before then.

jing yuan sometimes finds himself envying those who can dance without care at banquets. he has an image to maintain in front of his people while you tend to be a stickler for this kind of thing, often refusing a dance in favour of maintaining your post. he supposes it's fine if you're both together, despite the numerous times he's imagined what it would be like to dance with you in front of everyone, as opposed to the privacy of the palace under the guise of “not becoming rusty”. but as he casts his gaze over to where you rest, having fallen asleep after a particularly thrilling game of starchess with your body tucked within the protective embrace of his ever-dutiful lion, he finds himself engraving moments like these into his memory and filing them away to look back on when nights to himself become a little too lonely for his liking. it's one of the many sides to you which only jing yuan has been privy to; one of which he takes immense pride in and vows to shelter from the danger which lurks around every corner.

(he will never let you know how your bright eyes is what set his once monotonous life ablaze in colour all those years ago — the aloof crown prince utterly besotted with a starry-eyed rookie knight. he will also never let slip how he still thinks back on the warmth he felt when you took his trembling, slumped form in your arms after he fought his stricken teacher all those years ago, the aftereffects of your touch still lingering on his skin even to this day.)

despite being duty-bound beside the impish emperor, there are times where you, too, are in need of some peace away from his scheming mind and watchful eyes. in these moments, you find yourself finding respite within the royal library built into the palace, a stack of books typically used as your makeshift pillow. and even if librarian!dan heng gives you a death stare from his designated place, you know he appreciates your company when he drapes a blanket over your shoulders and replaces the book pile with a cushion or two. although, you can’t shake off the feeling you’ve seen him from somewhere before…

for as long as he can remember, dan heng has always been on the run. from what? he’s not even sure anymore; it has been that long. it is but a mere shadow, a phantom which haunts him under the glowing sun and the gleaming moon. he can run — run until his body is weak and heavy with fatigue — but he can never hide, for it follows close behind and lurks around unseen corners. as unnerving as it may be, he has grown used to the chilling gaze and staying on edge. after all, no matter how far he runs, no matter how hard he tries to blend in, there is no escaping a shadow. maybe that is why he felt a churning sensation stir in his gut when he first met the emperor to discuss his newly appointed position as the librarian, whose gaze held an unfamiliar sheen of conflict veiled behind an amiable disposition upon making eye contact. amidst the eyes of the sun held a glint of familiarity, one which dan heng couldn’t put his finger on the longer he dwelled on the thought.

dan heng didn’t know what to expect when he first met you; you, the personal guard handpicked by jing yuan himself. with all the duties he’s sure keeps you busy, it wouldn’t surprise him if he never met you past the glimpses he catches here and there when in official spaces. perhaps that is why it came as such a surprise when you stumbled into the library one day, all bleary-eyed and attempting to stifle your yawns, and he could only watch in a daze as you pulled out a random set of books from the shelves, plop yourself down at the nearest table, set the books on the surface and slam your head atop the pile, your soft snores filling the once-quiet room. dan heng wasn’t sure how long he sat there staring at you for, but it was long enough to wake you up and inform you of the library’s closing hour when the day’s hues bled into the night. what he thought would be a one-time thing soon became a regular occurrence — a routine — and he has become accustomed to your unceremonious visits and wonderful laughter and draping the blanket he now keeps under his desk over your slumbering form and admiring your peaceful expression over the rim of his novel. it’s come to a point where he can no longer imagine a life without it; without you.

(sometimes he wonders whether you enjoy the time spent with him as much as he does with you, in which he cannot help but to compare himself to the emperor you have pledged your life and devoted your loyalty to. amidst those thoughts, dan heng finds himself hoping you would favour him over the shine of the empire’s revered sun.)

royal guard captain!gepard is someone you have always admired, ever since you were just a rookie knight trying to prove your worth amongst a sea of prodigal candidates like him. he is kind as he is strong, a formidable ally and a terrifying foe. however, you can't help but wonder whether you’ve done something to offend him, what with the way he sometimes avoids you if you happen to bump into each other amidst the palace grounds and speedwalks in the opposite direction with hasty apologies trailing behind him.

the landau dukedom. it is known for its military prowess and defending the borders, but infamous for the strict duke landau. as well-respected he may be by the nobles of the court, gepard only knows a strict man more like a superior than a father. it wouldn’t be a lie to say duke landau was just that; a superior — a teacher, one who viewed his children as either heir candidates or a foundation to bolster the territory’s military power. while it may be a strict method, the respect gepard holds for his father is undeniable, feuling his desire to make him proud and carry out his teaching in the name of the honourable landau duchy. he stuck to harsh training regimens, endured countless trials of tactics and wit, witnessed his elder sister begin to refute against their father’s suffocating hold upon returning from the academy, watched as she left the duchy to have control over her own life with a promise to keep in touch with him and their youngest sister. these moments were fleeting, passing in a blur until he entered the ranks of the elite, eventually promoted to captain as he remained steadfast in defending the borders.

it took gepard countless sleepless nights tossing and turning in his bed and a highly amused serval laughing at his predicament to finally understand his feelings for you. love was an unfamiliar concept to him. he knew of camaraderie between fellow knights (which was what he assumed he felt for you, but just a bit more… intense?) and familial bonds between family, so this new experience of his heart palpitating, hands clamming up, words stuck in his throat and an incessant heat clinging to his cheeks was unfamiliar, thus his avoidance. though that didn’t sit well with him, as a longing ache only seemed to replace it instead. and so, despite the apparent awkward flair his body language carried, gepard decided to follow his heart when it came to matters pertaining to you. he quickly came to discover your likes and dislikes, your miniscule habits when practising swordsmanship, the subtle cues you display when uncomfortable, the smile you showed upon seeing something you liked and the grin you displayed upon besting him in a duel. they were all segments which made up the very being you are, and the pieces which fit within his heart to establish this newfound love he holds for you.

(as your direct superior there are many things he notices when watching from the sidelines. among many, the one which stands out are the eyes which follow you — some gaze at you with envy, others regard you with awe, but there are a few which regard you in the same adoration he does. love and jealousy were never something gepard thought he would experience; not until he met you.)

with your role as one of the empire’s royal knights and the emperor’s personal guard, it comes as no surprise to be inflicted with injuries of varying severities. as a result, you are well-acquainted with royal physician!luocha through your numerous visits. you’ve come to find his pleasant visuals and soothing voice does wonders to heal your fatigue, even if he does tend to go a little overboard in his lectures when you come to him with less-than-fine wounds.

being able to wield elements and being able to use divine powers are two different things; one is widely accepted, the other is not. at least, that’s the case in the xianzhou empire. those born with the ability to use divine powers have fled into hiding, unwilling to be outcasted — or worse, executed — for being afflicted with the cursed power of the divinity. as such, having lived the majority of his life in concealment, luocha is no stranger to hiding his abilities. curse or blessing, it’s an irrevocable part of him. still, he didn’t want to stop helping others the way the nature of his powers could. and so he resorted to learning medicine. he soon became a renowned travelling doctor sought after for his vast knowledge, all of which garnered the attention of the emperor when he stopped by in the capital and was offered the position of royal physician. with little drawbacks, handsome pay, and a grand place to stay without needing to be on the run, luocha accepted and became the sole royal physician of the empire.

there was very little luocha found himself to be afraid of. with no one but himself to rely on, he’s crossed many bridges on his own without care. there was no need for such sentiment in survival. or so he thought. in all his years, luocha doesn’t think there was anything more terrifying than the day you were rushed in by a frantic jing yuan, your complexion sickly and covered in sweat and breathing laboured. as it turned out, you were poisoned, having drank it in place of jing yuan upon sensing something suspicious. he doesn’t recall anything making his heart drop as quickly as the situation then had, his mind blank yet frantic as he forced the panic-stricken emperor out of the infirmary and laid you on one of the beds. your symptoms were dire, he noted, and there was nothing in the cabinets suited for this kind of quick-acting poison. your condition was worsening, a pained furrow of your brows and haggard appearance being clear indicators. a bright glow then illuminated the room, and luocha came to the belated realisation he had used his abilities for the first time since concealing them, for the thought of losing you was far more torturous than his will to hide his abilities.

(there was no thought to the act, just sheer desperation to not let you die. it took him a long few days to realise that, all of which were spent looking after you by your bedside. he never spoke of how he cured you when you asked, eyes bleary with confusion on how you’re still alive, instead choosing to keep it to himself as he chided you for being so reckless. you will never know of the inner turmoil he endured, even praying to a deity he never once believed in to ensure your safety. should you sustain more severe afflictions, luocha has no qualms using his abilities again — if it means you live, he will make an exception.)

thinking about duke!blade, whose… less than pleasant disposition does little to help refute the fearful rumours surrounding his name. you've met him a handful of times when he visits the palace under jing yuan's summon or catching him at the odd banquet or two, and even back when he used to train with jing yuan before his visits suddenly ceased. even so, you find yourself doubting those rumours, especially when he seems to wear an expression akin to peace more often than he does of one resembling disdain.

the cold duke remains an enigma to those around him — even those who work under him. is it due to his quiet hostility? or is it perhaps something no one knows, such as a secret known only to him, his butler, his family physician, and the emperor? a curse; one of immortality where his soul is torn to shreds only to be stitched anew before he can succumb to the paradise known as death. it's a never-ending cycle, one which causes him to no longer track the days when they all feel the same. the days out on leading monster subjugations and expeditions are just a temporary means of escape — an outlet for his pent up frustrations to let loose without worry. no one knows what truly goes on in his mind, only ever witnessing or hearing tales of his brutal yet awe-inspiring deeds on the blood-soaked battlefields, and the origin of his adopted alias: blade. his true name evades him, having been discarded the moment he lost his humanity.

he has always noticed you. it was hard not to when the favour you received was blatantly obvious, even from when you were just a fledgling knight and he the young heir of his duchy. there weren’t many opportunities for him to talk to you, what with the way jing yuan always seemed to divert his attention back to their instructor when noticing his wandering gaze to your distant figure, and even more so after the curse struck him full-force and he stopped visiting altogether outside of summons and banquets. it wasn’t until he returned from a monster subjugation as the sole survivor did he first properly meet you. with his mind torn and body regenerating itself, he failed to notice someone rush towards him, an unfamiliar warmth encompassing his bleeding torso as his conscience began to fade. an unfamiliar ceiling and an unfamiliar room was what greeted him when he awoke, but a warmth he registered as familiar gripped his calloused hand. what met his gaze then was your dozing figure, your head smushed against the duvet beside his leg with even breaths giving way to your unconscious state. his typically chaotic mind was silent as he stared at you. it was an odd feeling, one which elicited a sharp inhale when you shifted in place, your grip on his hand loosening as you sought out a more comfortable position, before exhaling in relief when you resumed your rest. it was an odd feeling, but it wasn’t unpleasant. and, for the first time in his life, blade experienced what it meant to be at peace.

(while he never spoke of that incident to you again other than a brief thanks for giving him (unnecessary) medical attention, he found himself drifting towards you more frequently — whether it be conversing with you during those bothersome banquets, stretching out the time you escort him before he enters jing yuan’s office-slash-meeting room, sharing specialties from his territory during garden strolls, or even requesting you to spar with him. the victory from either side is sweet, but the strained expression he catches from notable figures is even sweeter.)

amongst the many you’re acquainted with, merchant!sampo is the one you’re most on edge around in spite of the years you have known each other for. it’s not that he’s a bad guy, but there’s something about his easy smile and ever-searching eyes and his words that always seem to form into something people want to hear which all seem… off. well, maybe you’re reading too much into his demeanour. after all, if he truly did have sinister intentions, you’re sure he would have acted on them by now — he’s had plenty of time to.

there’s a certain level of cunning one must have in order to survive. whether that be wits, deceit, getting one’s hands dirty, it doesn’t matter. they are all just a means to an end, after all. sampo has long since tread on the path of deceit, a game of cat and mouse with unassuming clients and authorities. but business is business, and what better way to make use of that than exploitation? disguised in a bar known as “masked fools” mapped across the globe sits a wealth of knowledge, hidden behind a secret code only known by those who covet wealth or revenge. it’s a fun pastime; the information-slash-mercenary guild receives money, the client has their request done. sampo quickly discovered playing the unassuming fool in front of the target only for them to discover they were the fool all along to be exhilarating. it was a rush like no other, even more so when he mastered the art of disguise and blended in with the crowd, building connections and biding his time as the airheaded merchant.

sampo admits, he was a tad hasty in his judgement of you. just a little. well, when compared to the ever-imposing figure of the royal guard captain chasing him down when he makes his weekly medicinal run for the palace’s physician, you weren’t all that impressionable at first glance. maybe it was the way you passively regarded him before walking off which led him to that belief, or perhaps it was the unassuming expression you always carried despite being the famed personal guard of the emperor. whatever the case, he was wrong. he realised that when his balance was tilted, back flush against the grass with your body pinning him down. the tip of your sword was against his throat and your eyes burned so brightly when asking what he was doing sneaking around a forbidden area to outsiders. he doesn’t remember what he said or did in response; all he does remember is the adrenaline rushing through his veins at the stern countenance you bestowed upon him. unconventional as it may have been, sampo thought you were the most breathtaking in that moment, a wondrous sight for his heart which only knew of cunning and deceit.

(it would be no lie to say money talks. in his line of business, it does all the talking. the only exception, sampo discovered, was when an ignorant fool attempted to hire him and have you… removed, to put it lightly. sampo couldn’t help the laugh which escaped him at the expression on the man’s face after his carefree refusal, a sound which ceased as he pointed his weapon to the man’s throat and demanded he spill the identity of the one who sent him. after all, a mere small-fry like him doesn’t have the ability to even dream of hiring someone against you — mercenary or assassin.)

if you enjoyed this, then reblogs with/or comments are greatly appreciated !! <33

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helslastangel · 2 months ago

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Random Astro Placement Observations

Original individual posts combined into this single post. Based on personal interpretation. If it doesn't apply, LET IT FLY. Enjoy.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Uranus in Aquarius in 1H

-Free-spirited and eccentric with a unique way of thinking and inspiring change

-Does not care to conform to societal norms; wants to carve their own path

-Others associate their unconventional approach with leadership potential

-Highly innovative and good at communicating their ideas to others

-May endure setbacks and unforeseen changes in their life; unpleasant surprises

-Can fall into a rut if their progress is interrupted too drastically and too often

-Can appear to be attention-seeking at times, especially in dress and mannerisms

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Jupiter Sextile Neptune in Synastry

-These two dream together so well that they might as well be lost in Wonderland.

-The Jupiter person hates stagnancy and always wants to be growing, expanding outwards into who-knows-where.

-The Neptune person has a huge imagination and enjoys venturing into the unknown, even if only through the mind.

-When the Jupiter person gets stuck in a rut, unable to think of a path forward, the Neptune person floats in to whisper a little random something in their ear that revives the spark and saves the day.

-The benefits don't only go one way either, when the Neptune person gets lost in all the mist in their head, unable to act on anything, the Jupiter person can gallop in to hoist them up above the fog and carry them forward to a real destination.

-That is, assuming they both don't start having too much fun poking holes in the clouds instead.

-A risk with this aspect is that both people could end up enabling each other's inaction and being too content to build castles in the sky if they're not careful. But if they keep an eye on that, this can be an incredibly creative pair who will never grow bored with each other.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Pluto Trine Ascendant

-Projects a strong outer appearance even when feeling the exact opposite inside

-Charismatic people who others find attractive or at least intriguing

-Can be blunt but are perceived by others as charming and "just being honest"

-Shares what they want to; hides their life from the public eye without trying

-Can leave others feeling left in the dark or excluded from their inner circle.

-May be the subject of many rumors; some true, some false

-Others assume this person is healthier, wealthier, or more popular than they are

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Sextile Mars

-With Sun Sextile Mars in your natal chart, you are brave, full of energy and often look young for your age. Some of you might be into sports or some kind of intense activities (dancing, martial arts, rock climbing, HIIT, etc.).

-If you’re more of a homebody, you could be the type to engage in causes online, standing up for endangered or marginalized beings.

-People might hit on you often or even if not, you might have a little trouble with the people who DO show interest in you mainly being interested in sex. At least, at first. Depending on your personal preferences and other placements, this may or may not be a problem.

- You’re the type of person who can work equally well alone or in a group, though you may prefer solo work if the groups you end up in can’t keep up with your energy.

-You’re usually popular and make friends very easily, though your direct way of speaking can rub some people the wrong way. However, people get used to you and quickly overlook this, as your honest nature and authenticity is very refreshing for most.

-The dynamic between you and your father/father-figure may be unique or just noticeably strong in some way. Others may often describe you as a “chip off the old block,” “Daddy’s girl” or some other phrase that highlights this connection.

-This can also go either way - You may have a positive or negative relationship with the masculine parent, it will just be a strong one regardless.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Neptune Trine Lilith

-Unafraid of things others find controversial, extreme or taboo

-Tend to be open (or at least comfortable) with their sexuality

-Highly expressive and does not bend to societal expectations

-Refuses to be controlled or held back by anyone but themselves

-Surprises others with their unconventional, free-spirited approach to spirituality

-Met with curiosity and acceptance rather than scorn for their views

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mercury in Libra

-You're diplomatic and fair, but also take forever to make up your mind.

-People love you for the way you consider everyone's point of view, but it's okay to have your own opinion and stand on it too.

-Your partners love you because you'll never embarrass them in public.

-You believe in a united front and will stand by those you love in public and correct them in private.

-Somehow you have the best advice. Even if you don't always take it yourself.

-One thing about you, you're gonna make a list of pros and cons.

-Your voice is so smooth and sexy. People fall in love with the way you sound and you don't even know it.

-Your friends call you when they can't sleep, and not in a bad way. You're just so calming to listen to that it takes their stress away.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Trine Moon

-You are popular and generally likable, but may be somewhat private or secretive.

-Others see you as someone who has mastered the balance between showing humility and displaying confidence. This fact alone makes you so much more attractive to others.

-Speaking of attraction, people are often attracted to the sense of security they feel around you. You're generally easygoing, or at least you try to appear that way.

-Harmony is important to you and you'll go lengths to maintain it. It can be difficult for you to understand people who seem to be at war with themselves, because your own ideals and feelings are rarely at odds.

-If there aren't enough challenging aspects in your chart to make you more familiar with inner conflict, you could find yourself becoming avoidant and sweeping things under the rug or delaying tough conversations with others.

-People think you know what you’re talking about, even if you don’t. There’s an aura of “knowing” about you and may often be picked to lead teams or call the shots in some way. This can be either flattering or annoying, depending on whether you enjoy being in charge.

-You’re a friendly person and avoid conflict, but you can certainly defend yourself if necessary and others are sometimes surprised when a more firm side of your personality comes out. Overall though, you're most likely to live and let live whenever possible.

-You can be extremely accepting of others and yourself, but sometimes to a fault. It's a good idea to get in the habit of questioning things or seeking out perspectives on life that are different from your own.

-Family can be your Achille's heel as you’ll put up with things from loved ones that you’d never tolerate from anyone else.

-There are many things you’re good at, but you’re unlikely to brag. Your efforts may go unnoticed for a short time simply because you never bring them up and don’t point out anything you’ve done to anyone.

-You may embody the sentiment of “if it doesn’t affect me, then it doesn’t bother me." Can have an easier time achieving goals since emotions won't get in the way.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Sagittarius Sun in 11H

-Optimistic and freedom-loving; constantly seeking adventure

-May be a strong presence in their social circle, if not the leader

-Values friendship highly and wants to work/live/travel with friends

-Can be idealistic but surrounds themselves with people who think differently and can offer varying perspectives

-Could be involved in social justice matters and be a voice for change

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Sun Sextile Mercury in Synastry

-Conversations between the Sun person and the Mercury person are lively and extremely enjoyable for both of them.

-These are the friends or partners who can easily spend hours on the phone or facetime, talking about anything and everything under the sun from why humans speak so many different languages to what color socks goes with what outfit.

-The Sun person brings new concepts and raw perspectives to the conversation, which the Mercury person is all too happy to process and put into the best combination of words.

-This aspect is especially sweet for pairs who have compatible hobbies or skills/professions, e.g. a singer/musician and a writer/poet, or a web/software developer and a copywriter.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Ascendant Conjunct Uranus

-Original thinkers who can usually back up their ideas with actions

-Like to be around open-minded, progressive types of people

-Love to play the devil's advocate; can rebel or argue for the sake of it

-Others view them confident and creative, yet also eccentric

May sabotage themselves by constantly trying to shock people

-Looks for partners who need freedom and personal space, like them

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Moon Conjunct Neptune

-You are highly imaginative and creative. Possibly a great storyteller who can take the most mundane experience and recast it in an interesting and theatrical light. This can make you popular and very well-liked by others.

-You might make an exceptional actor, whether professionally or in everyday life. Though if overdone, this trait can backfire and lead to you being loved for who you are not.

-This is rarely malicious on others' part: Neptune's misty illusions, combined with the changeable nature of the moon cause you to unintentionally fool others and sometimes yourself.

-Internally, you could be quite sensitive, but whether you wear this on your sleeve or conceal it depends on your moon sign and other aspects. Regardless, you often absorb all the energies in a room and constantly process everything you see and feel.

-Sometimes, it could feel like you have no idea where you end and others begin. Struggling with emotional boundaries can be a negative theme in your life if not balanced out by other aspects.

-People who do not this (or similar) placements can find it difficult to empathize with you and might spread rumors or make your personality a frequent topic of their conversations.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Trine Saturn

-Extremely loyal; can be reserved and controlled in social settings

-Not obviously introverted or extroverted; quiet but not shy

-Usually attracted to older partners or people with mature energy

-Afraid of rejection but will try to hide this from others at all costs

-Highly determined when their mind is set to achieve something

-Can be creative and will usually finish the projects they start

-Blends structures with aesthetics well; may enjoy interior design

-Extremely responsible people who others look up to and rely on

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Juno in Scorpio

-While Venus may show how we fall in love and what traits attract us most, Juno shows what we truly need to feel safe and secure in a marriage or long-term partnership, regardless of what we're attracted to.

-In my case, I have both Venus and Juno in Scorpio, so there isn't much difference between what I need and what I desire in a partner. But some may not be so fortunate and experience a war with themselves.

-Juno in Scorpio natives like an element of mystery around their relationships. The allure of having a whole other side to their lives behind closed doors that the public knows nothing about.

-Traditionally ruled by Mars, Scorpio approaches emotion with a lot of passion and a sense of urgency. When Juno is placed in this sign, the natives can experience intense power dynamics with the object of their affection. A fear of betrayal and obsession with loyalty is also present.

-Scorpio Juno people NEED depth in their relationship, otherwise they will fall out of love. If they cannot connect deeply with their lover for any reason, they will do everything possible to reestablish the bond.

-However, if their partner makes no effort to restore the connection, they can often grow to hate their partner just as deeply as they once loved them. Depending on the rest of their chart, they may either stay in the relationship out of obligation, but entertain secret affairs, or they may sever the relationship entirely and seek another, or become celibate and closed off to relationships entirely.

-Scorpio Juno people will not be happy with anything less than a true soulmate relationship. Despite being slow to open up themselves, they desire partners who are trusting, loyal and unafraid to show vulnerability.

-The ride or die type of relationship is usually the only kind of relationship these natives feel truly satisfied in. They can often find this kind of connection in people with whom they have Juno-Mars, Juno-Venus, Juno-Sun, or Juno-Sun synastry, or people with significant/many planets in Scorpio.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Ascendant Conjunct Mars

-Cares about others but does not over-identify with their emotions.

-Can spend hours trying to figure out why everyone else is so upset.

-Joyful (unless depressed) but also impulsive and easily angered

-Comes on strong, which thrills some and overwhelms others.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Conjunct Jupiter

-You’re a gentle peacemaker. Aggression and conflict grieve your spirit in ways that words can’t express.

-Harsh personalities can drive you to step out of character yourself, so you tend to seek out agreeable people to be friends with. This isn’t difficult as you��re generally popular in your social circles unless other placements in your chart suggest otherwise.

-Anytime there is a dispute, you’re likely to walk away or try to delay getting into the argument.

-You may be physically attractive, but the brightest aspect of your appeal is how affectionate you are to those you care for. Unless depressed or otherwise weighed down by circumstance, your presence is naturally cozy and very soothing to others, even if you don’t quite understand why.

-Others can see and feel the warm aura that surrounds you and makes them feel like anywhere with you is a safe space.

-Another thing you may notice is that people open up to you very easily, telling you all about their dreams, hopes, aspirations and other things that you wouldn’t normally discuss with a stranger.

-You also may be extremely creative, whether in the way that you think and dream, or in the things that you do (music, design, writing, dance, poetry, etc). This is one of the more promising aspects for love and relationships, and these may come relatively easily without too much effort on your part.

-Of course, for every dawn there is dusk: you may be rather lazy, self-indulgent, and greedy, if not careful to keep your desires under control. However, with a bit of self-reflection and determination to improve, you will get along in life just fine.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Moon Trine Venus in Synastry

-If your Moon trines someone's Venus (or the other way around), you could have more compassion for each other than for other people.

-There will be a strong emotional connection between you.

-Others might complain that you let each other get away with everything, lol.

-There's an unspoken "handle with care" vibe between you that's very sweet.

-It can be hard to suppress this vibe if being close with that person is wrong or taboo in some way (e.g. coworkers, boss, etc.).

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mars Opposite Neptune

-May try to present an image that fits the social expectations of their environment instead of their current reality (esp. with 1H Mars).

-Tends to hide internal insecurities with external confidence that may seem unnatural or "fake"

-Depending on where Neptune is placed, certain people or places will appear to be safe, leading the native to reveal themselves more clearly, only to find out it was a trick.

-People who can see past their brave façade will either try to be safe space for then, or will study their insecurities to take advantage of them

-Can be a prime target for energy vampires, narcissists, etc., if unhealthy/unevolved

-They are a frequent topic of discussion in their social groups; can be positive in some cases or if other aspects outweigh this one, but with mars opposing neptune, these natives are usually gossiped about/slandered more than anything else

-Their morals/ethics can appear questionable to others due to Neptune's influence clouding the native's good intentions and honest motivations behind their actions.

-They may notice that people often accuse them of being sneaky or seeming "sus" without being able to give any real reason.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Square Jupiter

-Highly motivated to create things, but often lacks the right skill set to do so

-May try to sooth their frustration by spending large sums to own luxury goods

-Draws others in with their playful, mildly risky sense of humor

-Makes friends easily but can lose them all to long periods without contact, irreconcilable differences in religion or politics, or generally drifting apart

-Charming and fun to be around, but can be extremely selfish in connections

-Often has lonely spells because their loved ones find them too demanding

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Saturn in Pisces

-You may be hard on yourself and not see your talents and abilities for what they truly are. Learning to trust your intuition and nurture self-confidence will help a lot.

-You could tend to hold on to the past and have trouble letting pain go. Often paranoid or defensive as a means of self-protection

-Highly compassionate and may be extremely practical too, Can struggle to draw the line where you end and others begin.

-You are patient and will often forgo your own comfort in the present to help others or to achieve a greater good in the future

-Usually artistic, or highly appreciative of artistic traits and creations from others

-Might turn to religion or some other kind of spirituality for structure and faith in life

-Your feet can give trouble, perhaps pain in the bones or issues with walking/gait

-You're sensitive and feel vulnerable or unprotected in life, even if you don't admit it.

-Victim or martyr complexes are common if not avoided through self-reflection and overcoming negative thoughts and emotions

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Mercury in Leo in 12H

-Can have a dramatic or over-confident way of speaking

-Very charismatic, enthusiastic; impossible for others to ignore

-Wants to be noticed and admired for the things they choose to say- May share their thoughts and opinions often hoping for feedback

-Sometimes aloof, reserved; struggles to express certain emotions

-Might keep part of themselves locked away from others at all times

-Tends to explore their environment more than their inner world

-Could have sporadic issues with short-term memory or comprehension

-Too much overthinking can lead to depression and self-imposed isolation

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Neptune Opposite Ascendant

-You might not have a set persona and will appear one way today and completely different tomorrow.

-It's possible that your appearance, mannerisms, and speech change drastically from one day to the next.

-Others may see you as a shapeshifter or even deceptive in some way. At best, you're generally unpredictable and confusing to those around you.

-Only a few can see clearly through the fog without you having to explain yourself. These people often become your best friends or even romantic partners.

-You give off varying auras at different times to different people so it's not uncommon people with this aspect to have one set of friends who know them to be one way, and others who know them to completely different.

-E.g. seeming reserved or shy in one friend group, naïve and innocent in another, mysterious and dark with a 3rd, outgoing and free-spirited with others, etc.).

-Depending on your personal tolerance for chaos, you may spend an enormous amount of time and energy keeping your friends/friend groups from ever meeting each other.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Conjunction Mercury

-The self is expressed in a natural, flowing way; charismatic and a great talker

-May enjoy intellectual topics but struggle to be objective about them

-Connects well with other as they easily & quickly adjust their tone and delivery

-Talks more than listens, easily distracted unless others are equally engaging

-Great public speakers, writers, etc., but can be unreliable and procrastinating

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Jupiter Opposite Sun in Synastry

-This can signal a difference of opinion between you and your partner on key topics, such as religion, philosophy, politics, etc.

-This does not have to be a bad thing, but it can cause conflict between partners with strong egos who aren't so invested in making things work.

-But if both are committed to going the distance with each other, they should hear each other out and see their differences as opportunities to learn and grow together.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mars Trine Neptune

-Highly creative; can bring fantasies to life in some shape or form

-Usually cultured and can hold their own in a variety of environments

-Action-oriented, yet charming and persuasive; liked by others

-Quick to defend those who cannot defend themselves

-Has knowledge of theoretical things, but struggles in day-to-day life

-Could easily become a starving artist due to their impracticality

-May seek partnerships with people who possess life skills they lack

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Moon Conjunct Uranus

-Requires a lot of personal space and almost total freedom. Highly independent and hates relying on others for anything or being misjudged.

-Has a busy aura or a buzzing kind of underlying energy, even at rest, but is easily drained emotionally. People view them as unpredictable and hard to pin down.

-May be called energizer bunny or simply get lots of comments from people telling them to relax/slow down, even when they're not doing anything.

-Can inspire others easily, from the small things like getting chores/assignments done, to the big things like career changes, moving overseas, starting a business or relationship, etc.

-Lives life completely on their own terms; very unhappy if forced to submit to anyone else's agenda

-Has strong words for those who try to control or "fix" them; will only befriend the most open-minded people.

-May seem open and like the type to wear their heart on their sleeve, but are quite detached and show only what they want others to see

-Prone to conceal their true emotional state and convince themselves and others that they've said how they felt when they have. Hold things in until they inevitably explode.

-Can be stubborn or not like being told what to do, but makes up for it with their conversational charm and quick-thinking/problem-solving abilities

-Wants to be included and important to the family (biological or otherwise) but does not want to held hostage or smothered by others' emotional demands

-Can become very restless if life becomes too dull/stagnant. Needs constant stimulation and may spend a lot of time consuming media on the Internet.

-Might feel differently about things from one moment to the next. Highly impulsive

-Starts new friendships/relationships with a lot of passion and attentiveness; struggles to keep this up long-term; often accused of becoming nonchalant

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mercury Conjunct Pluto

-Seeks challenges; does not like to deal with anything that is too easy

-Persuasive speakers who convince others with flawless arguments

-Can be extremely stubborn and believe that they are alright right

-May study psychology or be more interested in the topic than most

-Highly diplomatic; they would rather sway than slay their opponent

-Quick, but chaotic thinkers. Others find it hard to keep up with them

-Naturally inclined to the sciences; easily notices causes and effects

-Leaves no stone unturned; will not try to escape their problems

-Can be somewhat overzealous in communication and alienate friend

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Chiron in 3H

-Might talk a little too much at all the wrong times. Even if the quieter type, they can end up oversharing without realizing it, which might not be the worst thing in the world if they are generally popular and well-liked, but it can be devastating if people already don't like them before they even open their mouths.

-Regardless of social standing, they can have problems in the workplace if they reveal the wrong things to the wrong people. Either getting into hot water with HR because of the way someone interpreted the things they said, or losing opportunities for promotion because something got back to a manager and ruined their reputation.

-Often, these people had social problems in childhood that never got resolved and continue to follow them into adulthood. A lot of it has to do with not being listened to and feeling ignored or like they had to outdo themselves constantly to be noticed. This often leads to people pleasing or becoming clingy with anyone who shows (or appears to show) genuine interest in them as a person.

-People with this placement can go from being the chatterbox or trauma dumping friend to being THAT person who everyone goes to for advice or even just to listen to because of the interesting stories and thoughts you have to share.

-People with Chiron in the 3rd house can overcome the negative aspects of this placement by becoming more mindful of how quickly one gets comfortable with others. That's not to say you have to be standoffish or aloof, but just consider whether something really needs to be said before saying it. With time and practice, you can become an excellent and highly empathetic communicator who knows what to say and when to say it.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Lilith Sextile Ascendant

- Can physically manifest in the native being extremely tall or short

-Often appears confident no matter how they really feel about themselves

-Usually gains genuine confidence and increased self-esteem with age

-Might enjoy saying or doing things that shock or surprise others

-Attracts sexual attention without intending to, or realizing others feel this way

-Can trigger very strong reactions in other people, especially if female/feminine

-May be shunned by the majority of women, or the topic of their conversations

-Misjudged by people who have no intention of getting to know them or the truth

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

↤ go back to the masterlist

#astrology observations #astro notes #astrology #astro posts #astrology signs #astrology tumblr #astro observations #astrology blog

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blackmoonoracle · 2 months ago

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PICK A CARD - MASCULINE WOUNDS

You can find my brief breakdown of masculine energy in the natal chart here. Tip Jar

PILE 1

tw: sexual trauma

Anger and sex drive, the people in this particular collective may have experienced sexual trauma at any point in time that has developed into an issue with emotional security. In order to heal you need to learn how to develop trust in your perception, self expression, decision making, and any chronic pain or issues need to be given more thought and care. Not accepting the bare minimum, not pushing yourself for the sake of others, not letting others take your power.

Taking your power back for the sake of yourself.

This is an energy of being conscious of chronic issues, extreme trauma, healing from extreme abuse and allowing yourself to let go of the cycle of releasing your power in order to survive. You are not helpless, you are not incapable, you are not weak, you are not bad, you are not a waste of space, energy, words, time, effort, or love. You are a worthy being, you have earned your place, your reputation, your successes, and your desired future. You have suffered a lot, in some way shape or form.

This could've been mental or sexual anguish in pre teen years.

Feeling almost disgusting or gross for existing as a sexual being. Disdain for sex, astonishment I heard as well? I feel like there is potential religious trauma regarding sex in this pile.

There may also be a sense of pain or confusion about life in general, perhaps you are someone who struggles with feeling destined for failure. Like part of you still doesn't believe that you're not destined to suffer, you've learned so much and I feel like a lot of you are like older gen z or late teens.

It feels like you've always felt very judged, and very misinterpreted. Like others could've been offended by your mere presence. Something about the way you thought, or spoke, or expressed yourself was or is very upsetting for people. You're not afraid to talk about the truth? Is the exact way I'm hearing it be described.

You have very powerful voice, and your words pack a punch in more than one way.

Your words project veryyy quickly into your reality, and I heard "reaffirming reality" as well, treating your brain like a science project I heard? LMAO it's giving aquarius 😭

So do mirror affirmations, some of you could have an affinity towards mirror magick. That being said handle that carefully, and know to be careful in approaching that. Make sure you're researching and covering your bases. I heard Aphrodite, so Aphrodite could be trying to work with someone. I also heard keep your peace, so chill out, don't engage with anyone. You're in the process of taking back your power so sometimes people act up. LITERALLY not a you problem, and if they make it a you problem stand your goddamn ground and show that person, no matter who they are, what role they play in your life, that you are under no circumstances going to continue to take their shit. The universe is testing you, lock tf in and don't worry about anyone else. Worry about YOU and YOUR DREAMS, and YOUR DESIRES. Plant the seeds that truly matter to YOU, you won't know if it works until you try it. Don't be afraid to do what you're passionate about. Don't be afraid to be yourself, your authenticity really resonates with others in some way shape or form. It's how you connect with people, you show them that being yourself is a lot less painful that you'd think.

This could be black Moon Lilith in cancer and Scorpio or 4th and 8th house Chiron energy. you could be a cancer rising, some of you could have a leo descendant? I heard polish and German as well for some others, someone could be polish another person could be German. If this pile resonated and you'd like to purchase a personal reading on this topic you can purchase one for just 55$ or send over a tip on Venmo or Kofi if the message resonated and helped in some way! https://ko-fi.com/blackmoonoracle @blackmoonoracle is my Venmo!

PILE 2

Self Worth, and Value/Honorary Systems This collective has very powerful values. This could be Taurean, or Aquarian energy, possibly also Aries. You could be mars dominant or have a prominent mars in your natal chart. Your mars may also be in the 11th, or 2nd house! Or you could have Uranus in the 2nd house or Venus in the 11th house. Suffice to say this could also be mars in Taurus, or Aquarius as well. 2nd house Venus, or 11th house aquarius. There's something with individualism in this pile as well. A lot of deeply practical energy, possibly very venusian as well. Could have Venus in pisces, or Venus-neptune interactions in the natal chart. You could have Venus in Taurus, or you could have Venus in aries I'm hearing. You are going on a deep journey of transforming your masculine will. Understanding you are worthy of making your creations, that what you create is valuable and is of quality. You are worthy of abundance, you are worthy of success. I feel like there could've been a sense of detachment since a very young age for this pile. It feels like affection could've always been a touchy subject. I'm also seeing a connection to religion here, especially with Venus being in Virgo. Virgo Venus has always reminded me of catholicism due to the very intricate and detail oriented nature of Catholic symbolism. As well as the emphasis on purity, which is an aspect of Virgo. Seeing as it is the virgin. This can also look like your love always coming with deep criticism. Perhaps you could've felt like the ways in which you expressed love were not respected. Or you could've felt like there was a feminine presence that seemed to bring you a great sense of regret. It feels like a self criticism wound. It feels like a disconnection from the mind in order to attain purity. Like, this pile could feel that they need to fully embody some aspect of a pure, or virginesque energy in order to be worthy of recognition?

Soooo specific, but hey! if it resonates it resonates. There's a deep wound here in regard to knowing how to accept help. It's like accepting help in your mind makes you feel like you're worthless, or as if you are not contributing enough. It's like you feel the need to contribute the most, so that others know you are serious and worth taking serious. Being undermined, minimized, having your values be overlooked, or being seen as unremarkable could've been something you struggled deeply with. I see a lot of pain dealing with women here. Significant Mother wounds that could've led to these wounds in your masculinity. Perhaps experiencing silencing, being forced to not do, say, act, or be in some way shape or form because it is "unsightly" or "shameful" Being disregarded, possibly some bullying here, feeling like an outsider. Like no one could grasp your values, your morals, who you TRULY are.

Almost feeling like you lack an identity.

finding balance in yourself, learning how to accept that you are worthy of being helped. That being helped does not make you unworthy, that being helped is something that is okay, that accepting care, and nurturing, and love is a good thing. starving yourself of intimacy in hopes that by taking the lashings of yourself, and others, while remaining in this "pure" state of being will finally make you worthy of being seen. vision is a general thing here. You may feel like your vision doesn't come to light, or that others don't understand your vision. It's unique, it's you, it's not what everyone else might expect of you. You're groundbreaking, no one could ever be you, learning how to be in love with your individuality. Accepting what makes you weird, and accepting yourself in spite of the way others feel. Knowing that accepting yourself is the deepest form of self connection and that you deserve to feel loved and supported.

Accepting that the embodiment of authenticity may cause issues in connections with people who cannot accept themselves or live in their own truth.

Understanding that you can find purity in your search for your authentic self, authentic truth, and your life purpose. Through embodying yourself in your truth.

If this pile resonated and you'd like to purchase a personal reading on this topic you can purchase one for just 55$ or send over a tip on Venmo or Kofi if the message resonated and helped in some way! https://ko-fi.com/blackmoonoracle @blackmoonoracle is my Venmo!

PILE 3

You may feel stuck in what you were once defined as, as if other people's perceptions of you cut extremely deeply. Your honor is important to you, you like for things to run smoothly. It's important to you to feel secure in who you are and how you express yourself.

I think that, it would be significantly healthy for this pile to learn what makes them feel passionate.

Maybe you feel that you are judged harshly, or in response to a harsh judgmental world you disconnect from yourself. Extreme self consciousness, fear of being "naked" or "vulnerable". Fear of connecting with yourself and others. Fear of relying on or connecting with your community. Feeling like an outcast, impostor syndrome. Lack of self awareness, TOO much self awareness. Untraceable, or difficult to uncover pain. Not understanding the root of things. Beauty that feels skin deep, unrealized depth, and unfulfilled potential. Learning who you are, finding the drive to connect with yourself. Understanding what it means to be you, and that you have to choose yourself at some point in order to lessen suffering. Fear of risk, and Fear of reward, a very loud self critic.

Accepting and acknowledging the mother wound in order to integrate and heal it. Connecting with earth, trusting nature, allowing yourself to think about the things you fear most. Understanding that you cannot hide from certain truths, and that looking the other way doesn't make it go away. There's a song that went viral on TikTok by MGMT called Little Dark Age. I specifically channeled the part that's like "Forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain, just know that if you hide- it doesn't go away."

Having to understand that you are not responsible for other people, you are not Jesus, why do you bare the cross. Why do you punish yourself for not meeting the "standards" that others are projecting onto you. Are they standards, or are they control tactics, is it manipulation? Are you in alignment with YOUR thoughts, feelings, and desires? Or are you taking on the thoughts, feelings, desires, and expectations of others who want to strip you of your individuality?

Transforming your self concept, looking at what traits, qualities, and authentic self expressions are ACTUALLY in alignment with your highest good & will call in passion, success, happiness, and stability into your life?

Being proud of your intelligence, your ability to perceive, to be know how to think outside of the box.

Having a lot of eccentric natured personality traits and understanding that those are attractive to others. That what makes you different is what makes you likeable, because it's what's uniquely you. Embodying your truest self form, writing affirmations. Creating lists and notes of the hard to integrate topics and realizations in order to make them more tangible.

Excessive mental energy, very deeply tapped into divine creative expressions. Having blessed thoughts, words, and ways. Knowing that you deserve your blessings, and that you are a generator of luck and karma. That you have to ability to move mountains.

Taking it less personal when people throw rocks from glass homes, knowing that you are worthy of better, worthy of more, worthy of success. Feeding your hunger to succeed, knowing that you have the skill, knowledge, creative drive, and capability to connect with others through your art and creativity.

Uncovering what beauty means to you?

I heard Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo, PIsces, cancer, Gemini, mercury, Sagittarius, 9th house, 6th and 5th house.

Sun in aquarius, Moon in Taurus/Capricorn, Moon in gemini, Moon in Aries, Moon-mars aspects.

Mother Gaia

Disconnected from ancestors and spirit team, but willing to learn and receive.

Looking for a new outlook, looking for a way out, remaining steadfast and faithful in what you believe.

Not allowing others to dictate your thoughts, feelings, or reality.

Co-Creating with divine consciousness.

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot community #tarot online #tarot reading #japan

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sunderwight · 8 months ago

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Imagine how much Shen Yuan and Airplane would hate it if an actual PIDW fan transmigrated in too, though.

Like, one of the guys who genuinely loved the stallion novel harem-building aspects, the weird-yet-vanilla het sex, the willingness to throw the plot out of the door just to have yet another interchangeable woman throw herself at the hero. Someone who only ever had nice things to say in the comment section, who unironically referred to Airplane as a master storyteller, who bought some of the VIP chapters (if he liked the wife Bingge was destined to wed & bed), couldn't name any of the monsters or sex flowers or most of the male side characters, had a Xin Mo keychain and once commissioned fan art of Sha Hualing (favorite wife) looking sexy in a pin-up pose, and told Peerless Cucumber he was a weirdo who took things too seriously on more than one occasion.

I think he'd bother Airplane the most. Shen Yuan would be annoyed and tell him his taste was in his ass, but that's about it.

But Airplane? I think at first he'd be inclined to enjoy having an uncomplicated "fan" of his work turn up. This guy actually praises him! He has nothing but flattering things to say! It's like a dream come true! Except... well, Airplane himself is perfectly aware of the decisions he made in his writing and why (he sold out deliberately, not because he thought it would actually make for a better story -- say what you will about whether or not it's worth it, but the man knows what he's doing), and also I suspect kind of resents his own popular audience whenever he has to interact with them for more than minute.

After all, these were the patrons he had to appease and appeal to, the readers he had to worry about offending or alienating, the ones who were paying the bills but also would have vanished at the drop of a hat if he hadn't given them a steady supply of what they wanted. It's not the audience he actually desired, it's the one he decided not to offend in order to maximize profitability. Peerless Cucumber might be a pain in the ass, but he's a pain in the ass who picked up on the story that Airplane himself originally intended to tell, and wanted PIDW to actually be that. Which has gotta be kind of gratifying, in a roundabout way.

I think it would stress Airplane out to have someone approve of the things he himself didn't even approve of. Like on the one hand this guy seems to have only a good opinion of him, but on the other hand it's based entirely on a false impression and Airplane actually agrees way more with Cucumber's assessment of his writing, because he wrote it badly on purpose. Since the guy has a good opinion, that's something Airplane can potentially lose, and he'd be most likely to lose it by revealing the truth about his own creative intentions and his actual tastes and inclinations. A ticking time bomb of disapproval that could go off at any moment to who-knows-what effect.

He'd hate it. Eventually every time User No.3 came around he'd just be like:

[ID: A gif of Skeletor from Masters of the Universe gliding through a blue magical barrier and then reaching back to punch and shatter it. End ID]

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #airplane: finally a REAL fan #airplane five minutes later: hmm... don't like this #image ID provided by princess-of-purple-prose

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cyle · 1 year ago

Note

So what is the threshold in declaring whether this experiment is a mistake or not? Do we need to send feedback in daily? Stop using the site altogether? What will actually be counted vs written off as people not liking change?

when we A/B test something, it means that one group of people has the new thing, and one group of people has the old thing. this youtube video is a very quick way of explaining that process, i suggest watching it first here.

in this case, with the new navigation layout, our hypothesis is that the new layout will be more easily understood by more people, meaning we'll see more engagement with the navigation items themselves. like literally, more clicks to the things we now have labels for, when before they were just an icon. and the fact they're in a place that's become more standard across the internet: a left-aligned sidebar.

ideally, that will lead to better retention of new users, and even an "aha" moment for people who have been on tumblr for a long time but never really looked at those different destinations. i've been on tumblr since 2009 and even i've found myself clicking on the inbox and activity more than ever, with the new change.

for us to see the change as a "mistake", we'd need to see statistical evidence to contradict that hypothesis, which we're already tracking automatically for everyone in the test. we'd also need to get an overwhelming amount of feedback to contradict any positive gains we do see. sending in negative feedback daily won't do that.

so if you want the whole thing to go away: we need to see a negative behavior change in potentially millions of peoples' behavior. that has happened before! we've rolled changes back that caused that negative reaction. that's the whole point of these experiments.

and if you want to send us feedback about how the experience is negatively affecting you: please, please do!!! despite the statistical evidence, we want to know if there are accessibility concerns we missed, usability concerns, design considerations, etc etc, because that's why we're running this as an experiment and not just launching it to everyone. that feedback is really important to us, as long as it's constructive.

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neoameba · 9 months ago

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Your only and most devoted.

Heian era!Ryomen Sukuna x Male!Reader

A/N: Potentially abusive relationship, There is a slight mischaracterization of the character, but nothing much beyond that. The reading can be interpreted as 16+, although it is not a smut. Can be read as ftm!reader. Don't date someone like Sukuna ☠️.

Summary: Having a relationship with Ryomen Sukuna is crazy, everyone knows that. But, it's generally agreed that [Name] is crazy enough for that. The human man clearly has no sense of danger, or just loves the feeling of being grabbed and squeezed by the ancient sorcerer.

Another massacre was completed, and [Name] happily returned to the place where Ryomen Sukuna lives. With it, several bodies were also carried without much difficulty. Of course, all these dead human bodies would be given as food. That was the man's job, to do whatever Sukuna told him to do.

It is curious to think that he is the only being who came close to Sukuna and lived peacefully to tell the story... But it does not matter. The king of curses' right-hand man soon arrives at his destination, and once he does, he hands the bodies over to Uraume to cook.

...

[Name] kneels. It's him... He deserves absolute respect, and of course [Name] will do that.

"O great Sukuna, allow me to warn you that dinner will be ready very soon." The human says, still with his head lowered. Although it is customary to do so, he preferred to be on Sukuna's lap...

The man in front of him lets out a brief laugh, he needs to say; finds it pathetic to see [Name] kneeling. Maybe because he knows the human would rather be somewhere else right now, like in his lap, or because he remembers some moments when [Name] was in that exact position, but looking up at him...

"... Come here quickly, don't make me wait." He knew how to read [Name]'s mind so well.

It doesn't take long for [Name] to be on the other man's lap. Sukuna's hands slowly roamed over his smaller body, he had that typical smile on his face, the smile that [Name] loves so much. It's that sadistic smile, of someone who knows they have someone in their hands, and that they can do whatever they want with them.

"I love you-"

"I know."

No words are said after that, it wouldn't be necessary. Sukuna always knew everything [Name] thought. The human's short hair was caressed by the king of curses, in an almost obsessive way. All of Sukuna's actions had something more... And that was another thing [Name] loved.

He likes how the king of curses kisses him, how he runs his hands over his body, and how he makes a point of showing that he is the most special. And of course he is. He is the only one who can touch the four-armed man's body, he is the only one who can feel Sukuna's warm tongue inside his mouth, the only one who will always be by his side.

This isn't a romance, it's not cute at all. It is a purely feeling of adoration, possession and obsession that only [Name] has come to have with Sukuna. He would go to hell if it meant being with Sukuna forever, he is insane and nothing can change that.

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna x male reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna #jjk sukuna #male reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #ftm reader

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thragedys · 3 months ago

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CATCH A MOVIE

Sol x Reader

Synopsis: As planned yesterday, you, Sol, and Hyugo arranged to spend some quality time together. Just as you were about to reach the meet-up destination, you are stopped. It appears that plans have changed.

Word count: 3k

Includes: Sol x Gender neutral reader, implied heavy topics (if you have played the game, you will understand what is being referred to), soft Sol, kissing, disrupted intimacy

A/N: i recently purchased the kid at the back vn and adore it! very excited to see what it holds in the future

Planned the day before, you arranged to meet up with Hyugo and Sol on the rooftop for lunch. It’s becoming part of your routine, slowly distancing yourself from your past habits. As the seminar is dismissed, you quickly speed through the crowds of people, making your way up the stairs. Every step caused a creek, a snap, and potentially a crunch. This building is falling to pieces. Reaching the final few steps, you lean to grab the door handle.

…?

An arm extended from behind grabs you, prompting you to stiffen. With furrowed brows, you turn to meet the owner of the hand clutching yours, nerves settling as the familiar green hair sways all negative thoughts from your mind. Sol gazes at you from a lower step, his lips curving up as he watches your eyes soften.

“I thought you’d be out there.” You point to the door with your left hand, since your right is currently held captive by his.

“Change of plan,” Sol speaks clearly, his posture straighter than usual. His confidence is seemingly shining today.

“Did something happen?”

“What? No. Hyugo is… busy.”

The hesitation on the word “busy” suggests that what Sol has told you is not exactly the truth—or at least close to the full extent.

“He’s busy?”

“Yeah, busy. He told us to hang out without him, he’ll join us later.”

“Oh, all right then! What do you have in mind?”

“You told me you wanted movie recommendations, right?”

“I believe I did.”

“Well, I thought it’d be nice to… Watch one with you, like I said I would. My favorites are quite old, so…”

“Will they still be screened in the cinema?”

“About that. I have DVD collections at home, plus, it’ll be more comfortable. What do you think?”

Sucking your bottom lip in, you cross your arms and take into consideration his offer. Since your day is practically over, you have nothing better to do with your time. Due to what’s happening in the city, the better option is to not be alone.

“Okay, why not? It’ll be so much fun! I wonder what your place looks like.”

“It’s nothing fancy. Nothing like yours.” Forgetting himself, he pauses. A hot flush spread across his cheeks as he grabbed your forearm and dragged you down the stairs, continuing his sentence.

“—Your apartment building seems a lot nicer than mine is what I was supposed to say.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. It doesn’t matter where you live as long as you’re safe and have a roof over your head.” You smile at him, an innocent sparkle in your eyes.

“You’re too sweet.”

“A little bit of kindness can take you a long way.”

“There are a lot of people who prey on that kindness out here. Sometimes it’s better to be selfish.”

“As long as I have someone by my side, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll always be—”

Before you could reach the exit, a voice called out from the distance. You spin your head and see Crowe with a pile of books held close to his chest, a pleasant expression on his face. Unlinking your fingers from Sol’s, you hear a scoff. His eyes burn with envy as he glares at Crowe from across the hall, his presence alone repulsing him. You walk towards him and Sol follows closely behind, barely leaving any space between your bodies.

“Hello again.” Crowe greets you, his gaze flicking up to Sol who looms over you.

“Hi! Are you okay?” You scrunch your brows together as you notice Crowe’s features contort into an unreadable emotion.

While it may appear as a mystery to you, from Crowe’s point of view, all he can see above you is the lasering hatred burning through his flesh, straight through his bones.

“Never mind. I’ll talk to you soon, you look busy.”

“We’re not in a ru—”

“Let’s go.”

Sol seems eager. There’s no need to stand around when the conversation is no longer ongoing. His fingers tap against your knuckles and your fist unclenches, allowing him to lock his hold. Firmly.

Deciding to leave that incident unquestioned, the walk back to Sol’s place was filled with conversation. His tone shifted from eerily deep to his usual, soothing voice.

Despite his earlier claims, his apartment building is far from shabby. With the way he made it out to be, you expected his living conditions to be much worse. His room is on the third floor, tucked way back down the hallway. When the door opened, you could instantly recognise who this home belonged to.

It was dark, curtains limiting any spot of sunlight from shining in. There were a few paint supplies littered all over the place—nothing overly messy. You slip your shoes off and hang your jacket by the entrance. Sol disappeared, likely into the bathroom or his bedroom. Wherever he is, it’s not your concern.

You should never snoop around someone else’s home, even if you’re far more than curious about a person.

Falling onto the sofa, your eyes dart to a notebook left on the arm. A few pieces of paper hang loosely out, all pages crumpled. Just as you are about to pick it up, footsteps catch your attention as he returns. His eyes subtly drift from your face to the book he carelessly left out, almost cursing himself for the situation he could’ve wound up in even if he were a second later.

“You can go into my bedroom, that’s where the TV is.” Sol musters a smile, forcing his lips to twist up as he slips past you and subtly relocates the book.

“Should I take my clothes off?”

“Wh—” His mouth opens partially, a violent pink spread across his cheeks, threatening to reach his ears if he doesn’t dispel the thoughts that just entered his mind.

“Ah! I meant because I’ve worn these clothes all day, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to sit on your bed in them. If you have any spare, I wouldn’t mind changing.”

“Yeah… I’ll get you some.” It wasn’t something that he initially planned, but since you were the one who suggested it, who would he be to deny you?

Entering his bedroom, you take your time to look around. Some posters, a few albums, artwork—nothing you wouldn’t expect out of the ordinary from a regular man. Rummaging through his wardrobe, he pulls out a sweater he knows he has worn recently. His scent is trapped in the fabric since he has yet to tend to his laundry pile.

“Do you have any pants?” You add, cuddling the sweater tightly.

“It’ll be long enough to cover you. You can get under the blanket too.” Sol tilts his head askew, analysing your figure before you step out to strip.

It’ll be hard to process that he has you in his bed. Hard to resist. Hard to forget.

Upon your return, the sleeves of his sweater extend over your hands. It covers you well, rather skimpy, but nothing is revealed. He pats the mattress and you climb on, settling down on his pillows as he holds up the disk which contains the unknown movie.

“Do you want to take any guesses?”

“Uh, one of the Conjurings?”

“Session 9. Kind of underrated; it’s still good though.”

He inserted the disk into the DVD player and clicked start on the remote. It began, seemingly harmless like the beginning of a majority of horrors. Cautiously, Sol edges closer to you, slipping his arm around you and pulling you into his embrace. Your frame melted to his almost perfectly, your chin tilting up to see his features.

That put him in a tough position. Those eyes made his heartbeat spike, his body riddled with a chill. Lifting his hand, he held you in his palm, rotating your head to view you from a variety of angles. Your beauty does not decrease, no matter the position or amount of light that illuminates you.

“Is this scary?” You motion towards the TV, but he hums.

“Fear is subjective,” Those half-lidded eyes cause your body to heat up, his cheeks permanently tinted with a twinge of color. “But you have nothing to worry about.”

That was enough to reassure you. Along with his hands tightly wrapped around your waist, and the rhythmic sound of his heart beating close to your ear as you rest your head against his chest.

The movie played out, the psychological horror unfolding. It was perfectly directed, enough to invoke the correct amount of fear and curiosity, almost begging to discover more despite the eerie atmosphere of the asylum. While your attention was glued to the screen, his was stuck on you.

“Come on…” He mumbled to himself, his thumb pressed at the corner of your mouth.

“Hm?”

…

That look spoke for itself. His thumb slid across your bottom lip, pulling it down and letting it spring back up. If Sol wasn’t so handsome, perhaps it would be easier to suppress the feeling rising in your core. The movie drags on as background noise, losing yourself as he leans closer.

“You have scratches on the back of your hand.”

“Forget about them. They aren’t relevant.” His smile was pleasant, easing your investigative nature down before you could interrogate him. “We should do this more often. I like this. Seeing you in my clothes and all. You look comfy.”

“I’m really happy when I’m with you. I usually worry a lot when I’m alone, but—”

“I promise that you will never be alone even when you feel like you are. Stop letting all those negative thoughts into your pretty little head.”

“Sol will always come and save me if I’m ever in danger.” You grin, watching his smile transition to a smirk.

“Save you, yeah? That sounds good.” He rests his lips on your forehead, securing a peck before pulling back. “I’ll never need to save you again though. Fuck all of that, I’ve learned from those mistakes. You will never leave my sight.”

Your eyes widen as his nose presses against yours, gently rubbing them together. It was intimate yet also affectionate, an ideal combination to weaken you further. Though he was not immune, he was also crumbling.

“If you keep me safe, I’ll look out for you too. In any way I can.”

“You don’t need to, but I know what you’re like. You’ll do it either way.”

“Where are your plushies?” Your breath hits his face and he closes his eyes momentarily before reaching behind the pillows and pulling one out.

“I hid them, they’re here. This is my pony that Hyugo couldn’t keep his mouth shut about.” The plushie is clearly in well-loved condition, likely a source of comfort for Sol when he felt he had no one else to rely on.

“It’s very cute. It’s lucky.”

“Is it?”

“It gets to cuddle you. Probably every night.”

“You…” Sol can’t help but beam, his face a bright shade as he places the pony under his chin. “If you want to cuddle me every night, I’m not the one stopping you. Feel free.”

“I don’t get a lot of opportunities to.”

“We can make some opportunities then. How does that sound?”

“It sounds like a great plan. I’ll be waiting for more details.”

“When I cuddle,” Sol shifts, his hands on both sides of you, trapping you under him. “I like to get all of my emotions out. That’s something you should know.”

“I can handle that.”

“Can you?”

It didn’t sound like a question, more so a challenge. Pulling down the neckline of your sweater, he revealed the crook of your neck. Two of his fingers lightly rub against the faint bruise, almost captivated at the mark he left on you. You didn’t even know it was there, but he did.

He’ll make sure you know this time.

Dipping down, he connected his lips with the damaged skin. Your body shuddered from the sudden contact, his hand slowly travelling to your arm to pin you to the mattress. He opens his mouth, instinctively latching his teeth to you. It stung. The force his jaw clamped down on you was something you weren’t expecting, causing a cry to flee from your lips.

He wants this mark to stay. He’ll make sure it never has the opportunity to fade.

“Sol—”

Recognising that breathy call, he is quick to replace his rough actions with desperate kisses. Inhaling your scent only drove his urges wilder. It was almost animalistic, pure desire and drive. The way his tongue swirled around your wound almost felt like an apology for breaking through your skin.

When he pulled away, he smiled down at you. A display of sincere adoration. Your chest heaved, matching his. Breaths filled the silence of the room, the movie paused while the remote was discarded from the bed. Hoisting the blanket back, Sol revealed your legs which are tightly pressed together.

“Did it feel good?”

“Mm…” An agreeing sigh.

Prying your legs apart, he moves between them. Your face is cupped in his tarnished hands which somehow remained soft to the touch. You wondered how his lips would feel against yours, if they were soft too. It’s hard to deny the rouse of your emotions, your body is begging for something more.

It seemed like he read your mind, or perhaps your body language. His lips forced their way to yours, overpowering you in all physical ways. He was devouring you, craving you to silence the anguish he had been enduring.

It’s just not fair. You’re his, aren’t you? Why should he have to watch as other people attempt to make their moves on you? It enraged him, they have no respect. You were never anyone else’s, only his.

His hands began to tremble, the full weight of his body collapsing on top of yours. You were gasping for air, stealing his since he refused to take his lips off of you for even a second. The cool material of his piercings contrasted with the warmth emitting from his body, making all hairs rise.

He couldn’t believe you were kissing him back. It’s so different when you’re awake.

The rattle of the front door was unbeknownst to you both, too endeavoured with tending to one another’s needs. Sheets rustle, hardly audible moans trapped inside of the locked bedroom door. Another world created, separated from regular life.

“Guess who! It’s been such a crazy day. I hope you didn’t miss me too much.” Hyugo calls out to both of you and is met with silence.

“Hellooo?”

“Sol? Did you go out without me?” He whines as he takes his shoes off and struts through the apartment. “You wouldn’t ditch me without telling.”

Noticing the locked door, Hyugo pokes his tongue to the side of his cheek as he fiddles with the lock. It didn’t take much for the weak door to open, revealing Sol lurking over your body. His hands under the sweater that covers you groping your flesh, his lips still joined to yours as the collective grunts are now freed.

“Oh, gross! What the hell?!” Hyugo’s eyes widen as he exclaims in shock, causing Sol to go still.

“Shit…” He murmurs, placing his forehead against yours with a disappointed glint in his gaze. “Hyugo.”

“You could’ve told me. I called out way more than three times!”

“You did?” Sol’s hands savour a final grip on your chest before agonizingly sliding out from under the fabric.

“Duh! I thought something might have happened to you two, but I was wrong. Clearly.”

“Sorry… We’ll make it up to you, I promise.” You glance over at Hyugo and he scoffs, covering his eyes with his hand.

“What? Are you both going to fund the therapist I’ll need after walking in on whatever that was?”

“Hyugo,” Sol snickers, rolling off of you and lying down by your side. “You can sit down.”

“Do I want to sit on that bed after what you’ve just been doing?” The plastic bag in Hyugo’s clutch rustles as he plops onto the mattress, keeping his distance from both figures present.

“Anyway. I got what you asked for, and I also got us all a gift.” Hyugo opens the bag and pulls out a fresh sketch pad for Sol, as well as a miniature pony plush, similar to his bigger one.

“This one is for you.” Hyugo passed you a teeny black kitten, its eyes almost bigger than its face. You make sure to thank him and he nods.

“I got myself a giraffe because it looked cute. Oh, yeah. I also got this. It’s like I have built-in sensors.”

Hyugo reveals the last item in the bag, a box of condoms, and slides them over Sol’s way. His face glows a bright shade of fuschia and his eyes darken, shooting daggers through Hyugo’s teasing being. Sol leans over you and shoves them into his bedside table drawer, simmering with embarrassment as he notices your flushed expression.

“Well? Are we gonna watch the movie or what? I’m sure it can’t be scarier than what I just saw.”

“Enough.” Sol reprimands him, pointing down to the remote which remains on the floor close to Hyugo.

“Oh, you were really into it, huh?”

“Hyugo!”

In response to Sol’s yell, his devious chuckle rings out. The DVD begins where it left off and the remote is returned to the centre of the mattress. You remained in Sol’s embrace, his arms securing you to his broad frame.

Time slips away, the end credits of the movie rolling out leaving Hyugo with more questions than he initially intended to depart with this evening. He places his bowl of popcorn down and speaks.

“I’m confused by the ending.” Hyugo huffs, reaching for the remote to switch to a new channel.

With a peek from the side of his eye, he found you and Sol passed out, fast asleep in each other’s arms. He pokes Sol’s cheek a few times—neither one of you has plans of becoming conscious anytime soon judging by his brief assessment.

It was sweet in a way. Hyugo’s heart warmed seeing Sol with you, he seemed so content. A pleasant change from his usual stoic expression—he’s at peace. Before escorting himself out, he was sure to drape the blanket over your bodies. Someone has to take care of the two of you. As long as Sol has you, Hyugo could rest peacefully knowing his vulnerable heart is in a safe place.

#tkatb vn #tkatb sol #the kid at the back vn #the kid at the back sol #the kid at the back x reader #fanfic #x reader

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weirdmorefics · 1 year ago

Note

Can we get a Bridgerton sister reader who is over looked most of the time only noticed when they see the reader has a close relationship with queen weather they see notice her absents or lady Whistledown writes about it your choice

The Forgotten Twin

Bridgerton sister reader

A/n- I hope you like it I am still unsure if I do LOL

Angst

Pronouns- She/her

Word Count- 989

Summary- The reader is Daphne's twin often overshadowed and forgotten until a shocking announcement by Lady Whistledown.

Y/n was used to being overshadowed by her twin, it's been like this since they were born. Daphne seemed to always be one step in front of Y/n. She crawled first, walked first, and talked first, Y/n was used to it now at age twenty-one. However, she had been dreading this age since she had learned about coming out into society. She knew from the instant she heard about it that Daphne would outshine her. Though Y/n had given up caring that Daphne did everything before her and that her mother favored her because Y/n excelled in something Daphne never did, and that was her intelligence. She was quick-witted and had a sharp tongue due to being compared to Daphne her whole life. Her mother, of course, did not see this as a good quality to have as it is not a preferred trait by suitors. This is the main reason she has been dreading this event she knew it would just be another thing about her that disappoints her mother.

Even though Y/n's Mother and her brothers did not find her qualities preferable her sister Eloise loved them. Eloise was Y/n's twin personality wise but in appearance and age she was destined to be Daphne's twin in turn she was always destined to be compared to her. Y/n was losing her confidant, Eloise to Lady Whistledown and she was feeling more alone than ever.

Y/n spent her days getting fitted for coming-out gowns, practicing piano, and reading in her spare time. All of these activities were solitary minus the seamstress and maids.

When the day finally came for the ball it was really not a shock to anyone that Daphne was declared the diamond of the season. Y/n tried to blend into the wall, balls and dancing never being her scene and that would not start now. That was until the next ball when Lady Whistledown made a report about this year's diamond severely lacking any suitors and being outshined by the Fetherington's cousin.

One of the Queen's servants came to retrieve Y/n for a meeting with her Highness during the second ball of the season. At first, she couldn't breathe she was encapsulated by her worry that she must have done something truly horrid to offend the Queen what other reason would she have with her.

Y/n followed the servants in silence, worried they could hear her heart beating loudly. She stood before the Queen and summoned her best curtsey she could manage.

The Queen lowered her Galilean binoculars and looked into Y/n's eyes, "You are an interesting young lady, Y/n."

Y/n considers this to be a dream because there is no way this could be a reality it seems like a fantasy book she would have read.

"Now you may lack the social skills of your dear sister, but there is something about you." A small mischievous smile appears on the Queen's face.

After this encounter, Y/n would spend many days sneaking into the Queen's quarters without her family's knowledge. She didn't like not telling her family about the Queen's plan and their frequent meetings but the Queen saw something no one else saw in Y/N, potential.

Dearest Reader,

It would seem that our diamond of the season had a diamond in the rough in their very own family waiting for their moment to shine. The great jewelers say it takes just the right amount of pressure to make a rock a diamond and we all know our dear Y/n Bridgerton has been under pressure her whole to live up to Daphne. The Queen has certainly taken notice of Y/n's diamond potential and has now been having secret weekly meetings with the eldest Bridgerton daughter.

Y/n was completely unaware of the new announcement by Lady Whistledown. She just so happened to be getting ready for one of these aforementioned meetings with the Queen. As Y/n was on her way out the door she heard several pairs of heavy footsteps down the large staircase in their home.

"Y/n Bridgerton!" Shouted her mother.

Y/n quickly whipped around to face her mother with fear as she knew those fiery eyes well.

"How could you do this to your sister," she shouts holding up today's crumpled Lady Whistledown.

Daphne looked disappointed standing next to their Mama, "Daph... I am sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out this way." Y/n frowns figuring out instantly Daphne knew about her betrayal from her eyes.

"What did you think would happen? That no one would ever notice you sneaking in and out of the Queen's quarter with her hundreds of servants," Daphne judged Y/n.

Eloise interrupted the argument, "How odd you don't even seem to notice Y/n's presence until she does something you disapprove of," Eloise glared which made Y/n smile she wasn't used to being stood up for.

Eloise puts a finger to her chin, "I also find it odd that Y/n is getting all the blame when Daphne wouldn't be suitorless if it wasn't for Anthony's constant meddling in her affairs."

Benedict and Colin held back their chuckles at Eloise's bluntness and Y/n smiled widely. It felt like they were seeing her even though the cause was bad her siblings were still being there for her.

Y/n ran up and hugged Eloise and she responded with a triumphant smile.

Daphne sighed, "I am sorry Y/n... the season has been rough on us all. Mother and I shouldn't have come down on you so hard. We should be there for each other, not always competing."

Y/n had to blink away tears, these are words she has always wanted to hear from Daphne. All she could respond was thank you and hope Daphne understood how much Y/n meant it.

#bridgerton x y/n #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton reader insert #bridgerton siblings #bridgerton x sister reader #bridgerton x reader

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spaloonbabooguuscooties · 1 year ago

Text

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up #psychonauts #elka doom #franke athens #ill paint the town red

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entities-of-posts · 6 months ago

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Hi, I have a question not directly tied to the roleplay (though I don't mind if you answer it in that direction): A while ago, you talked about your theory of a potential 16th Fear emerging to balance the emerging Extinction: the Dull. I find that concept compelling, but in that post you also said that each of the powers has an "opposite" due to how people like to categorise things and I'd be curious what you would consider the opposite of each power. (Mostly because I like lists and sorting things xD)

Some do have a pretty clear opposite (Vast/Buried, Lonely/Corruption), but with a lot of the others it's less immediately obvious or simply up to a bit more interpretation. iirc Elias says the Stranger is the antithesis to the Eye, but the Dark and the Spiral similarly foil its central concepts, and I'm not sure what else their opposites would be, really.

Let me just preface this list by saying that this is my own opinion and interpretation, and thus 100% right and correct and indisputable.

I will also say that there are Fears which I would call near opposites, but imperfect mirrors - such as the Stranger and the Eye - and some that just seem to hate each other without being antithesis - such as the Desolation and the Corruption. It’s also worth mentioning that overlap always exist between mirrors, of course; this is why there is a classic duality between the moon and the sun, but no one talks about the duality between the moon and a giraffe, even though they have much less in common.

That said, here is my list:

The Vast - The Buried: the most widely agreed upon. Spaces too large versus too small. The terrible freedom of being adrift in an endless ocean, of freefall, versus being crushed in place with not the space to crawl an inch. You get it. The comparison is so clear and easy that it kickstarts the speculation about all the others.

The Eye - the Dark: extremely straightforward; just as much as the Vast and the Buried, to me. Knowledge versus the lack of it. Stark light versus impenetrable darkness. What sees you versus what you cannot see. Literally symbolized respectively by an open eye and a closed one.

The Corruption - the Lonely: Toxic love versus miserable isolation. An overabundance of company, much too close, under your very skin, a swarm of uninvited guests within your deepest sanctuary who will not leave, versus a life so barren of any company at all that that you might almost start to crave the former. The heat of fever versus the cold of fog.

The Web - the Desolation: careful planning versus reckless destruction. A trap so intricately laid, hundreds of delicate moving pieces and redundancy measures waiting for just the right time… so easily laid to waste by an unthinking, spontaneous act of cruel hunger for rubbles. Man’s quest, since the dawn of time, has been to tame and leash fire. And we still haven’t mastered it.

The Hunt - the End: a wild fight for life versus its cold ending. The journey versus the destination. The two oldest fears. The Chase wants more than anything to never End. The End doesn’t Chase; it just waits. And you’re the one that walks towards it every instant.

The Stranger - the Slaughter: here is the part of the list where people start to look at me oddly, because they’ve often never considered those pairings; but hear me out, and remember that I am inarguably correct. The fear of something Else pretending to be human versus the fear of what truly lies at the core of every human person. The fear of being tricked by an elaborate disguise versus the intimate knowledge of the truth: that those who hurt others aren’t monsters disguised as people. They’re just people. And the urge is in you too. Masks, versus what is revealed when all masks are cast off. And they both have musical motifs which makes for some fun parallels.

The Spiral - the Flesh: the horror of the mind versus the horror of the body. Unreality versus a reality only too physical, only too inescapable. Your brain is lying to you, but your body keeps the score. Follow the patterns, the Spiral says, there is more, they are lying to you, just follow me down - this is all there is, the Flesh whispers, this is the raw and dripping truth, this is all you are and you will never escape it. The Distortion even admits it can’t digest an avatar of the Flesh.

#you can argue with me about these but be warned I will not change my mind. I have given this so much thought and I am convinced about it.#Johnny himself couldn’t convince me otherwise

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janus-cadet · 7 months ago

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This card is brighter than the one I usually do- might even be the most colorful of the whole deck, so far! Which- fitting. Today, let's welcome Charlie Morningstar and Vaggie, double figures for the Ten of Cups!

(Now usually, the card also have one or two more people on it; I thought about adding Pentious, but our snake should have his card soon enough. Therefore, it's just the girls.)

Explanations under the cut, as well as a poll for the next card to draw, and the rest of the Hazbin tarot cards!

Upright, the Ten of Cups embodies happiness, joy, and emotional contentment. You have created an abundance of love and happiness in your life, and you now share this love with others, expanding your heart even more. This fits Charlie and what she created with her hotel, supported by Vaggie- together, they are the start of it all. You are now surronded by your loved ones (it's a fucking happy day in hell!), with whom you share a powerful and deep connection. You support one another, and you help other to reach their highest potential- on the path to redemption! Most of all, you do it because seeing others happy is the greatest joy you could have. It's the "happy family" card by excellence, as well as a positive card for romantic relationships- you're in a blissful one, if that's what you're looking for, to the point you may believe that you ar soulmates destined to be with one another (I do love them, mh, mh). When the card appears in your reading, it's time for you to take a step back, and appreciate everything you accomplished. You went through hard time, but look at that! You can do this, now we know it, and you actually did. Follow your heart, says the card, and follow your inner sens of Good.

Reversed, the card brings more subtility. You can see the Upright reading as mostly Charlie's idealistic view on the hotel and on redemption; but with the reversed Ten of Cups come the struggles. You may feel disconnected and disengaged from your loved ones, like your estranged father and your missing mother. You try to connect, but each times, something goes wrong, and the distance between you grows. Why does he forgets everything you say? Can't he pay attention? Why is he not calling more often? Or maybe you're afraid to trust, and you're keeping some secrets close to your chest. You don't open up enough, and you create, without meaning to, a distance with others, with her. You're too rash and too impulsive, but you mean well- surely, they can see that? It may have an impact on your relationship; you need to realise that nothing is perfect, and every relationship has its ups and downs. The Ten of Cups invite you to seek out a common ground with your loved ones, and rebuild the relationship from there. Talk to your father about why, exactly, he's so reluctant to help; talk to your partner about who you are, and where you came from. Open the lines of communication and be ready to hold space for one another. Be compassionate, understanding, and respectful. The card can also mean that you're starting to doubt yourself, and what you are doing. Is it really worth it? Are you up to the task? Are you letting other people down? You have to rethink those questions. Think about what makes you happy, what you believe in, and bring back your focus to that.

And that's it for today! I'm planning to do at least three more Hazbin cards- if the fixation does not die by then. Not that it shows any sign of slowing down, oh boy- they are all so fun to draw, too!

Anyway.

And with that, Hazbin Hotel verse is the most represented fandom in my whole deck of cards, right before Doctor Who. Ah!

If you have read this far- well done. So proud of you. You win a peach cider, if you're even able to drink this abomination. And paf, the rest of the cards!

#digital art #my art #tarot project #ten of cups #chaggie #charlie morningstar #charlie magne #vaggie #vaggie hazbin hotel #vaggie x charlie #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #chaggie fanart

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sunlightnmoonshine · 7 months ago

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You know what is an absolute shame, that queen of tears had all the potential to be so so great. All it would have taken was a little more writing comprehension and understanding that a story doesn't need 50 something plot points, everyone would have tuned in for just baekhong and them navigating the complexities of marriage, dealing with their families, and dealing with the potential loss of life, and the way two people can be so destined for each other, fine they could have had villains but the villain didn't need to be a one dimensional character that had such plot armour throughout the show to the point that the main female character who has such intellect in all other moments somehow loses it around him just so we can entertain mediocre moments of ridiculousness, at the very least focus could have been placed on one villain, instead we have some deranged execution of mommy/son issues that had such potential but was just wasted and it's the way this drama feels like it's insulting my intellect that really just gets to me.

With that said, I still think baekhong is precious and that no drama has had characters like them before but I really think that it isn't even the writing anymore, it's that soohyun and jiwon have given this story their all and watching them has been a treat because they bring out the best parts of baekhong while the writer runs around in circles.

#queen of tears #kdrama #i would have dropped this drama had it not been for baekhong #I remember watching ep 4 and being like wtf are these mystery plots #and being peeved knowing the writing was showing gaps #but baekhong was elite #and so here I am

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year2000electronics · 27 days ago

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This is a post detailing the full timeline of my Mario AU, Fate of the Stars! Full thing under the cut- it's a bit of a long read, but I hope you enjoy!

THE BEGINNING

The seven Star Spirits have always been there, watching from above… watching with love. Many things in the FOTS world have happened because someone made a wish. Wishing magic is some of the most potent there is.

TIME OF THE DINOSAURS

Hey, this is where the Yoshis and Koopas’ common ancestors are from!

…Alright, that’s it. NEXT!

TIME OF THE ANCIENTS

Two distinct factions of humans are formed. Magicians who rely on spell-casting to get things done, and regular old humans who rely on the natural fauna around them to get things done.

The magicians have a fight that splits them into two: the Ancients and the Tribe of Darkness.

The magicians eventually get so secretive that they ban basically anyone else from entering into their fold. This happens over centuries.

Amidst all this fighting, the Tribe of Darkness creates the Dark Prognosticus, a prophecy that is set to doom the world. The Ancients create the Light Prognosticus to try and counter it- though only the Dark Prognosticus is TRULY prophetic.

In both prophecies, four heroes are predicted to save the world. These heroes are known as the “Star Children”, and legend says that when they get delivered by a stork (because that ends up being how babies are made here…), they will each come with a mystical star charm that will give them power and guide them on their way.

Both prophecies mention the “Man in Green” as the ideal host for the Chaos Heart that would end all worlds- although in the Light Prognosticus, it is said that the Man in Green has the potential to decide which prophecy becomes true.

Only the Dark Prognosticus mentions this, but allegedly, one of the heroes would be the “Dark Star Child”, the one destined to turn against the heroes and act as their final opponent. Prophecy scholars across the years have debated which of the heroes would be this Dark Star Child. In the modern era, the common belief is that it would be the “Furious monster king”, although there are one or two fringe theorists who believe the Dark Star Child is one and the same as the Man in Green.

Also happening over thousands of years, the humans who keep using the land’s mushrooms to “power-up” eventually evolve into the Toad species, the mushroom DNA intermingling with theirs causing them to shrink down and gain mushroom cap-like appendages on their heads. We know this species today as “Toads”!

Toads grow to revere the ancient humans of their past and view tallness and “Tall Toads” as a status symbol. A Toad forges the Super Crown, something gifted to a royal and their partner to give them the appearance of a regular human.

The Tribe of Darkness’ interaction with so much dark magic also changes them. Now they are shadow beings, distinct from humans.

Regular humans still exist, though, but as the years go on, they become fewer and fewer.

Koopas become sentient after many Ancients and Darkness Members alike began to keep them as pets, and just like Toads, the lingering effects of being close to magic helps them evolve. They form a kingdom of their own, and the idea of “pet Koopas” quickly becomes abolished.

Sometime during this time are the reigns of Pharaoh Shroomses and Captain T. Ode.

Also during this period, Power Mushrooms are bred with GMOs to make their effects less harmful to human DNA, even if the Toads can never go back.

THE REIGN OF SHADOWS

Three sisters belonging to the Tribe of Darkness- Vesper, Jaydes, and Cerise- become so powerful that they ascend to immortal demonhood. They then proceed to shroud the land in darkness. They forge eight Crystal Stars during their reign to make themselves even more powerful and practically impossible to kill. (They draw this power from the Star Spirits.)

The land is shrouded in darkness for quite some time.

The youngest sister, Cerise, is tasked with hiding the eight Crystal Stars where nobody can find them. Her first hiding place is the eighth Crystal Star, which she chooses to always wear as a necklace. Along the way, however, she falls in love with a hero who’s trying to stop her, a “human” vagabond named Russ Toadstool. It causes her to have a change of heart. Later in the journey, Russ shamefully reveals to her that he’s actually not a human, and is instead Toad royalty who hid his Super Crown under his bandana. Cerise, laughing, assures him she loves him no matter what he looks like.

She and Russ agree to get married, and Cerise casts away her demonic form to live as a powerless human. Unfortunately, this seems to impact the Crystal Star she carries with her, as it has transformed into a powerful yet disconnected artifact known as the Cobalt Star. She refuses to tell anyone what it does and always keeps it on her.

In the meantime, Jaydes, the middle sister, takes control of the Underwhere forcibly, wrenching it from the grasp of Grambi. She originally intended on commanding an undead army to bring up to the living world, and was waiting for Grambi to be caught off guard.

Four heroes, Russ included, journey far and wide collecting the Crystal Stars using Cerise’s guidance on where she hid them. Then, they use them to seal away the last remaining Shadow Sister- Vesper, the Shadow Queen.

Seeing this, Jaydes quietly decides to just accept a part as Queen of the Underwhere. (Over centuries, she and Grambi fall in love.)

MR. AND MRS. TOADSTOOL

Russ and Cerise’s lifespan extends far beyond human or Toad lifespans. They end up living for almost a thousand years, and still look as young as the day they met! …Does Cerise have anything to say about that??

“Hee hee! I guess being a hero just keeps you young!”

Around 980 or so years pass, with Russ and Cerise’s reign being the longest recorded reign in Toad history. It makes sense! They’re good rulers and people like them!

Meanwhile with the Koopas, they’ve grown to have a steady rivalry with the Mushroom Kingdom. They bring about kinda dumb and not-very-good-at-planning heirs and that’s about it for them.

At some point during this era (probably near the tail-end), Blumiere and Timpani have their whole devastating romance thing! Yay!

…And that’s it for the most part! (Though knowing how complex this can get, I may have to add more sometime.)

But after a long and peaceful reign, Russ and Cerise decide it’s finally time to have… a baby.

A STAR IS BORN

Russ and Cerise give birth to a baby girl they name Peach. She’s fully human, thanks to Cerise giving up her power ages ago, and even if she might have some Toad DNA- well, it certainly isn’t enough to make her look like one.

During this time, two human babies are born to a humble young couple! Their names, as you may know, are Mario and Luigi!

Also during this time, the next heir to the Koopa throne is born- and though he may be small now, in the future, little Bowser will soon be the biggest Koopa anyone’s ever seen…

Each of these babies come delivered with star charms. Mario and Luigi’s charms are two halves of one star, symbolizing their closeness as brothers. For baby Peach, she eventually had hers made into a pair of star earrings. And finally, for little Bowser, his star was carefully cut into five parts and fashioned around a collar to serve as spikes. (This obtuse placement would lead people to not realize that Bowser was the fourth star child for years, up to the very last moments.)

THE ORIGINAL SHROOB INVASION

A planet full of hostiles known as the Shroobs descends upon the Mushroom Kingdom, trying to take them by force and possibly drain them of all their vim and all that freaky deaky stuff.

The Shroobs almost have the royals cornered, particularly the Elder Princess Shroob has Cerise and Russ on the ropes. Cerise realizes that if she finds a way to attack the Elder, the Shroobs will fail to have any orders on what to do next. Doing that, her and Russ agree to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Cerise pulls the Cobalt Star off of her neck and raises it up, trapping Elder Princess Shroob in there- but also trapping herself in the process. She expects to never come out- and so to the world, she is dead.

The Shroobs all scatter, now without a queen to rule them. They flee, tails between their legs. The kingdom is safe, but at the cost of their beloved queen.

Whatever Cerise was doing to extend Russ and her lifespans, it clearly isn’t happening anymore. Russ falls very ill very quickly and starts rapidly aging. He shuts himself away from the kingdom, knowing he wouldn’t want his subjects seeing something so agonizing.

In his few dying days, he smiles, entrusting his advisor Toadsworth to the most important mission of his life.

“Toadsworth… take care of her. Alright?”

“My baby… my Peach.”

Russ dies. Toadsworth is now the acting royal of the Mushroom Kingdom until Peach is of age to make decisions on her own.

The Cobalt Star is locked away in the basement of the castle. Everyone is sworn to secrecy about it.

YOSHI’S ISLAND

Hey! Welcome to the first actual VIDEO GAME in this timeline! Fed up with my antics yet?!

Seeing that the Mushroom Kingdom is in disarray after the Shroob invasion, the acting ruler of the Koopa kingdom, Kamek, acts fast. The previous royals were killed somehow, and though he has Lord Bowser to take care of, he wants something more. Since he was present to see the baby king, he knows that Bowser is one of the four Star Children, and knows that if Bowser was born, the other three must not be very far behind. He should eliminate these obstacles to the Koopa kingdom’s potential great reign… and he should do it fast.

He orders troops to kidnap every baby in the Mushroom Kingdom they can find, and these babies happen to include Mario and Luigi in their ranks.

Although Luigi is successfully kidnapped, Mario is rescued by a tribe of friendly Yoshis, who all agree to help baby Mario get his brother back, cos he’s just so cute! And… surely this child, blessed by the stars, with the star necklace… could only bring them good fortune.

When Kamek finds Luigi, he eagerly pulls out Luigi’s star necklace, elated that he found one of the Star Children, but- ah. Why’s this star purple? …Must be one of his rotten minions who busted it. Unless… This was the mysterious Dark Star Child? Well- either way. He’s either covering for his idiot minions, or… Well… If this WAS the Dark Star Child… Perhaps he wouldn’t rise up and take over Lord Bowser’s plans if he never knew he was the Dark Star Child.

While deciding what he should actually do with Luigi, Kamek places a fairly strong cloaking spell on Luigi’s purple star necklace that makes it appear as if it’s gold like Mario’s. He tells no one about this, not even Bowser. (I’d remember this moment if I were you. Who knows if it might crop up later?)

STARRY CHILDHOODS

Mario and Luigi grow up in the Mushroom Kingdom, thanks to their parents living in the rural country. Their parents were close personal friends with Toadsworth, so they would often bring Mario and Luigi over for playdates with the young princess Peach. They all realized their kids were three of the fabled Star Children, but decided not to tell them so their lives would be peaceful and they wouldn’t be burdened with a sense of great responsibility.

Bowser, meanwhile, is getting trained by Kamek and the rest of the Koopa kingdom to be a powerful heir to try and finally dethrone the Mushroom Kingdom as the leading monarchy. Kamek’s a bit of a hardass who believes that the Koopa kingdom can rise above the Star Children prophecy if they rule the world before anything can happen to it.

Mario and Luigi get bullied on the playground by their cousin :(

Eventually, word travels around that a wrecking crew led by a human named Spike are building a city for the remaining humans of the world to congregate known as New Donk City. Although the population is currently small, they hope to make a bustling metropolis, and Mario’s parents are more than happy to join them. They move away, taking the brothers with them, and they lose contact with the Toadstool family.

DONKEY KONG

Hi! Welcome to the adult era! The bros are in their 20s now, and attempting to do what every up-and-coming youngin dreams of: Starting a business! That is to say, a plumbing business… They go for gold, quitting Mayor Spike’s wrecking crew (their cousin Wario complains because he busted his ass getting that job for them) and trying to start the Super Mario Bros. plumbing company.

Mario’s girlfriend at the time, Pauline, is kidnapped by a rampaging beast known as Donkey Kong. The mayor of the city, Spike, apparently captured the Kong to use his incredible strength to do things like demolish old buildings. Poor guy!

Nobody’s sure what to do, but at just the right time… Mario rises to the occasion, climbing all the girders and dodging barrels to fight the beast and get back his girlfriend.

Mario is hailed as a hero! Their plumbing business immediately booms, and everyone just can’t seem to get enough of Mr. Jumpman. Spike is ousted as the mayor for his abuse of animals and also pissing off the Kong Country, dude, why the hell did you do that.

As the search for a new mayor begins, things heat up for Mario. People seem to keep calling their business not for plumbing, but to try and get Mr. Jumpman to do more and more extreme favours for them, or just to try and get a photo and an autograph. (Poor Luigi usually silently gets handed the camera…) The pressure really starts getting to Mario, and he and Pauline end up breaking up, seeing as the people of New Donk City are REALLY trying to push for them to get married so they can be the “perfect sweethearts” after he rescued her.

Mario’s had enough. He and Luigi move away from New Donk, and decide to try starting their business back home- back in the Mushroom Kingdom.

SUPER MARIO BROS.

(...That’s a bit of a misnomer. Mario is the only one going on this adventure.)

Mario and Luigi’s plumbing business is going really well! So well, in fact, that the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom herself has invited them to come fix her pipes… Could she be? The cute little girl they talked to so many years ago?

The bros arrive at Peach’s castle, and they catch up with a now-adult Peach, who Mario immediately falls for. He’s trying not to rush anything, especially after the Pauline fiasco, so he tries to hide his crush, but the two of them are getting along really well!

Suddenly, in the middle of Mario and Luigi’s plumbing job, a giant monster bursts through the wall- it’s none other than Bowser, king of the Koopas. After years of being raised and trained to become the perfect heir for the Koopa kingdom, he’s ready to strike, kidnapping the princess as leverage to try and get the Mushroom Kingdom to surrender.

Mario can’t help himself- he sees someone in need and SPRINGS INTO ACTION! He chases off after Bowser, venturing across the land to try and find him in the Koopa kingdom to rescue the princess.

…Luigi, naturally, stays behind, too meek to try, and assumes that Mario was just better-suited for the job. After all, LUIGI wasn’t the one who beat Donkey Kong… Maybe he can start off with something smaller next time… Yeah… Next time.

Mario rescues the princess and beats Bowser, and gets a kiss on the nose and a cake for his trouble! The Toad citizens all welcome him back, but thanks to the Mushroom Kingdom having a much smaller population density, he actually finds it quite nice.

Mario realizes something- that Bowser isn’t going to go away, is he? And everywhere he goes, the vulnerable, the innocent, his FRIENDS… They need someone to help them. Mario knows what he needs to do. He hangs up his plunger permanently, deciding to become a full-time hero.

…And Luigi can stay home and do the laundry!

SUPER MARIO BROS. 2

Mario has a dream where he and his friends go on an adventure! Wow! The baddie at the end of the road is some bat thing called Antasma? Who says he’s going to feed off Mario’s nightmares? Too bad Mario stomps him almost immediately. Guess his dreams were too happy… Better luck next game, buddy.

SUPER MARIO BROS. 3

Bowser’s pride is wounded after his humiliating defeat at the hands of Mario. He decides to put out a summons in his kingdom calling for more minions to join his side- a royal army. To his surprise, someone answers his call, but it’s not any minion he was expecting… Instead, he sees seven starry-eyed orphans, proclaiming themselves to be eager recruits in Bowser’s new army- The Koopalings. This is hopeless. How’s Bowser going to get anything done with these clowns?! Still, for some reason, he feels a pang of something deep in his heart, a feeling deep down of knowing what it’s like to be a kid with no real parent figures… He steals the wands of seven of Kamek’s head Magikoopas and entrusts them to the Koopalings (much to Kamek’s dismay), telling them to go conquer seven of the Mushroom Kingdom’s neighboring countries, and they do.

Meanwhile, Peach is fretting over letters from these other counties, begging her for help as all their leaders have been turned into animals. Before she can do anything, of course, she’s kidnapped by Bowser. During her tenure, she feigns innocence to Bowser and keeps asking about his “new soldiers”, getting Bowser to tell her all about them. She secretly sends Mario letters warning him on each new Koopaling’s ability.

Mario manages to defeat the Koopalings and get the princess back from Bowser. Kamek is mad at Bowser for stealing the magic wands, but is honestly impressed with how adept the Koopalings are at Magikoopa magic. He decides to take them on as his apprentices, and only forges two replacement wands- One for himself, and one for his second-in-command, Kammy Koopa.

SUPER MARIO LAND

Mario gets a distress call from Sarasaland, one of the kingdoms he just helped save from the Koopalings. This time, instead of their ruler being turned into an animal, their princess- Daisy- has been kidnapped by an alien named Tatanga! Of course, Mario is happy to help, so he goes off on another quest to help her.

Most of the bosses of this land are just repeat visits from Mario’s cousin, Wario, who’s being paid off by Tatanga to be a nuisance. Mario is so tired of this. He wants Wario to go back to New Donk City and leave him alone. Please.

Mario saves Daisy, and the two of them become good friends! Daisy reveals she’s more of a warrior princess than anything, and would be glad to help pitch in on Mushroom Kingdom protection whenever she can. Mario says he’ll keep in touch.

SUPER MARIO WORLD

Mario is cashing in that offer IMMEDIATELY. He asks Daisy if she can keep an eye on the Mushroom Kingdom for a bit so he, Luigi, and Peach can take a well-needed vacation further into the rural country. As it turns out, this was a terrible idea, because the Koopalings were spying on him this whole time and immediately chase after them with Bowser to kidnap Peach when she has her guard down. DAMMIT!

Mario and Luigi realize very quickly, though, they came to this place for a reason, even if it was subconscious… This is the land of the Yoshis! Although the original Yoshis who took care of them are quite old now, they meet a young Yoshi about their age who agrees to help rescue the princess. (That is THE Yoshi now, but I don’t really do much with him. But he’s here!)

Mario and Yoshi go off to rescue Peach. Luigi says “no really I’ll stay here don’t worry about me”.

After this adventure, Bowser finally bites the bullet and officially signs the adoption papers to make the 7 Koopalings his children.

SUPER MARIO 64

Another day, another slay for Super Mario. Peach kidnapped, you know the drill. But THIS time, Bowser has turned the entire castle into HAUNTED PAINTINGS! Mario’s adventure will take him no further than the castle gates, but boy, will it make him work up a sweat regardless.

The only major thing of note here is that in Big Boo’s Haunt, a certain boo meets Mario for the first time… And he takes note of the power of paintings. He wonders- If there’s a way to get Mario in a painting… perhaps there’s a way… to keep him there…

Luigi is at home baking a nice quiche.

SUPER MARIO RPG

Mario has to help Geno repair the Star Road after Smithy broke it, or else the Star Spirits won’t be able to grant wishes or anything!

Peach and Bowser also agree to help. Bowser is reluctant but agrees.

Geno recognizes Mario, Peach and Bowser as three of the Star Children, but doesn’t really care to ask where the fourth one is because he’s got other shit he really wants to be dealing with right now.

MALLOW IS ALSO THERE.

PAPER MARIO 64

Bowser, immediately after helping repair the Star Road, goes right back up there to steal the Star Rod from the Star Spirits and grant his own wishes of invincibility. THAT BASTARD.

Not much to say here as of right now. It’s Paper Mario. Kammy Koopa is there. Peach is kidnapped.

In this version, the Star Spirits do recognize Mario as one of the Star Children, though- the “child blessed by the stars”! Yes, they remember him. They consider themselves as part of Mario’s family, in a way. After all, they were always looking out for him. Who do you think made sure he got dropped off with the Yoshis? Who do you think gave him all those invincibility stars?

Luigi stays at home. He’s getting increasingly frustrated that he missed the “being a hero” boat, and now it’s a self-feeding cycle of him being left at home. He makes a wish, with all his heart, that one day, he’ll be allowed to shine just as bright as Mario…

LUIGI’S MANSION

Normally, the Boos were some of the lowest class of species in the Koopa kingdom’s court. They were shy. They were wishy-washy. Nobody paid any mind to them. But one day, a shooting star fell from the sky, and landing on the ground was a magnificent jewel that seemed to be from the stars itself. Big Boo, the one from Super Mario 64, as the leader of the boos, fashioned a wonderful crown out of the gem, and once he put it on… it gave him power unimaginable.

Re-christening himself King Boo, he constructs a mansion near the lab of the annoying ghost-hunter Professor E. Gadd as part of his grand scheme. He filled it with portrait ghosts, with inspiration from Bowser’s haunted paintings and help from the ghostly painter Vincent Van Gore. And then came the piece de resistance… Unlike that fool, Bowser, his first move wouldn’t be to kidnap the princess. No. He would instead kidnap… the plumber.

Mario gets a flier in the mail, saying he’s won a FREE MANSION! WOW!!! He eagerly lets Luigi know, and goes on ahead to accept his new house- he can’t wait to move in!

Luigi waits for him to get back. And waits… and waits… Aaaand waaaiiits…

…Mario isn’t coming back. It’s been days. Maybe he finally abandoned Luigi and went off to be a hero forever- No. No way. He should check the mansion. He should. Right? Yes. So, with legs shaking like jelly, he packs his bags, and prepares to go see his brother…

Of course, Luigi finds a mansion full of ghosts, and helps rescue E. Gadd from their pranks. He ends up defeating all the portrait ghosts in the mansion, and even survives the horrifying realization that Mario is trapped in a PAINTING!

Luigi beats King Boo, feeling like he just barely survived, and a stunned Mario hugs him for at LEAST five minutes, sobbing into his shoulder that he’s so proud of Luigi.

Luigi quietly mumbles that he would maybe like to go on an adventure with Mario next time Peach gets kidnapped. Mario agrees, saying he’s sorry he didn’t reach out sooner and felt like he was just trying to protect Luigi. Now, he sees Luigi doesn’t need protecting, and can be a hero in his own right!

WARIOWARE INC.: MEGA MICROGAME$

WOW AN INTERLUDE!!!!! This is basically the only Wario game on the list, so enjoy it. I might do a Wario Land at some point to include Captain Syrup. If I’m feeling generous. Wario returns to New Donk City after the events of Super Mario Land and this is what he’s been up to: Collecting a gang of misfits to have them work for him for MEAGER WAGES.

The microgames are a big hit, though!

Waluigi probably works for Wario in this universe.

SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE

It’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is, Mario! Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toadsworth, and a few Toads are on vacation to the luxurious Isle Delfino, hoping that they can kick back and relax FOR ONCE after the haunted mansion fiasco. Unfortunately, two things are happening: First of all, the isle is covered in this icky paint-like goop (It’s moving!) (Now now boys, don’t touch that stuff!), and second of all, an impostor is running around wearing MARIO’s face?! MARIO HAS BEEN ARRESTED?!

Despite Luigi and Peach’s objections, Mario is declared guilty, and his sentence is to clean up the entire island. But how is Mario going to do THAT?!

Luigi is here to help! He explains that Professor E. Gadd occasionally gives him presents in the form of wacky inventions, and Luigi brought his latest one along because he hadn’t had time to unbox it yet. When he does, it’s almost too perfect- It’s a robotic nozzle machine known as F.L.U.D.D.!

As Mario works hard to clean up the Isle (Peach and Luigi have tried to help, but the Piantas yell at them for it.), Luigi takes on some missions of his own trying to uncover the identity of the mysterious Shadow Mario. Nobody sets up his bro like that and gets away with it!

Peach, meanwhile, tries to convince the locals to rally with Mario… to varying success.

The Koopalings are probably around Isle Delfino somewhere, but they’re not actually attacking Mario or anything, most of them just seem to be relaxing and enjoying the island. It’s only clumsy Morton who lets slip that they’re purposely staying back to “LET NEW GUY HAVE HIS FUN”. …WHO’S THE NEW GUY?!

Luigi and Mario’s quests meet up when Peach is kidnapped and taken to Pinna Park, where Shadow Mario reveals himself to be… BOWSER JR?!

That’s right. Bowser just couldn’t get enough of that fatherhood and had another kid through ASEXUAL REPRODUCTION VIA A STORK. DO NOT INQUIRE ABOUT THIS FURTHER. Of course, Kammy Koopa spoils him rotten despite Kamek’s protests (and outlawing giving him a magic wand), so she commissions a paintbrush invention from E. Gadd that allows Jr. to create magic graffiti that can help him, harm others, and, importantly, disguise him as people.

Jr. is convinced that Peach is his mother. This is bad. Peach eventually gets yanked away by Bowser to go, like, sit in a hot tub. Mario and Luigi chase after him, with Mario using F.L.U.D.D to destroy the hot tub and with Luigi tasked with getting Peach off of that hot tub before it falls.

Everyone winds up safe, except F.L.U.D.D, but with Luigi’s help, he makes a miraculous recovery!

Mario asks Luigi when he got so good at tinkering. Luigi admits it was his primary hobby when Mario was off on his adventures, and E. Gadd just helped him hone his abilities.

Bowser and Jr. return home, defeated. Jr. admits he knows Peach isn’t really his mama, but was having so much fun fighting Mario he didn’t want to stop. The Koopalings are all super proud of their baby sibling and welcome him to the team.

MARIO & LUIGI: SUPERSTAR SAGA

IT’S A MULTI-KINGDOM AFFAIR! When two ambassadors from the neighboring Beanbean Kingdom show up and offer a gift to Princess Peach, everything goes haywire when her voice gets stolen! The assailants reveal their true identities- the evil witch Cackletta and her cronie Fawful! They seek to activate the Beanstar, an artifact that can grant wishes (Star Spirits, I’m looking at you suspiciously…) that was put into a deep sleep and can only be awoken with a pure voice.

Mario and Luigi are on the case! Their journey takes them across the strange cultural frontier of the Beanbean Kingdom, meeting up with Queen Bean and the young Prince Peasley- who seems to have taken quite a fancy to Luigi! Most of the wackiness is part of their long, drawn-out plan to make sure Peach is alright, as well as chasing after Cackletta and Fawful.

Cackletta gets the shit beat out of her by the bros at Woohoo Hooniversity, but we’re just getting started. Fawful sucks up her essence, and through Shenanigans, she ends up possessing the body of Bowser, going by Bowletta. Yes, this gives Bowser boobs for some reason. Yes, this is as weird as it sounds.

Although the bros try their best to out-maneuver and trick Bowletta at every turn, eventually, the cards do fall in her favour, and the bros are forced to do a final gauntlet into Bowletta’s castle, which includes fighting the Koopalings as well as Fawful himself, who seems like he’s had it up to here with Cackletta’s mistreatment of him.

The bros go inside Bowletta to fight Cackletta’s Spirit, she flips them off whenever she attacks, they beat her, Bowser is fine, Peach gets her voice back, Luigi and Peasley make out sloppy style, THE END.

PRINCESS PEACH: SHOWTIME!

You didn’t hear this from me, but this is kinda a fusion between Princess Peach Showtime and Super Princess Peach. I will not be adapting the Vibe Scepter. It’s mostly an adaptation of Showtime, but with the idea that SPP had that Mario and Luigi get kidnapped.

Before Bowser can even brainstorm up his next plan (Yes, because we all know it’s coming!), the Mushroom Kingdom finds itself encased in a dome of enchantment, turning all its citizenry into nothing but stage actors, mere puppets for the one, the only, MADAME GRAPE! She seeks to put on the greatest show the world’s ever seen- one that never ends!

Mario and Luigi are down for the count, of course, but it seems that something within Peach is keeping her safe… She doesn’t know why, but she feels the urge to look up to the stars and thank her late mother.

Now, Peach must embark on a journey as the only one left, and rescue the brothers she’s come to care so much about. Will she do it…? Or will it be curtains for her?

SUPER MARIO BROS. WONDER

DID SOMEBODY SAY BOWSER?! (No, nobody said Bowser.)

Mario and co. get invited to another of the Mushroom Kingdom’s neighboring kingdoms, the Flower Kingdom (If you’re counting, now that makes around 3 neighboring kingdoms that Mario probably visited during Mario 3!) by Prince Florian. This time, it’s not an act of hostility… but this time, Bowser invites himself along, turning himself into Castle Bowser with the weird and wacky power of the Wonder Flower.

Jr., Kamek, Kammy, and the Koopalings also get the fun effects of the Wonder flower, and are now wreaking havoc across the kingdom! Who can possibly help us?!

WHY, PRINCESS DAISY, OF COURSE! She was part of this cross-kingdom party too! Now, Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy all get to go on a wonderful adventure! (...Pretty standard aside from all the Alice In Wonderland nonsense, though!)

PAPER MARIO: STICKER STAR

Whew! That all has been nuts, huh? Isn’t it time we just got a stupid fucking adventure?

Peach decides to throw a STICKER FEST!! A festival dedicated to stickers! With a fist clenched, with an eye twitching, after two or three different ruined vacations, she says surely you all know that we can’t mess up with something as simple as a STICKER FESTIVAL. Right?

Wrong.

As it turns out, the Sticker Comet that passes by once every millenium is called the Sticker Star, and holds a race of sentient, hedonistic stickers on them. They love to grant wishes- (THE STAR SPIRITS SWEAR IT’S ACTUALLY NOT THEM THIS TIME.) But the stickers’ wishes are twisted, and never really get you what you want, aiming to turn you into a powerful being they can catch a ride on to feed off your energy. They have something of a cosmic rivalry with the Star Spirits, and normally stay away from the Mushroom Kingdom so they won’t fight more, but…

Bowser just had to Bowser it up, didn’t he? He crashes Sticker Fest, thinking that it’s just some dumb thing the princess is doing, but once he touches the Sticker Comet that just landed, well… you know. The six Royal Stickers go zooming away- one lands on him, and he starts going nuts for power. Alright, man, you go have fun with that! Peach also gets kidnapped. Alright, man.

Mario and Luigi reluctantly set out on an adventure to go get those stickers back- and they’re constantly tailed by a bratty little sticker named Kersti, who reveals she’s next in line to be one of the Royal Stickers, once she’s of age to succeed her dad. And she thinks the Mario bros are smelly and should stop getting in the way of the Royal Sticker Court.

Along the way, they beat up five of Bowser’s minions who have gone nuts with power- A preteen Goomba who wished to be stronger for Bowser’s army, a Pokey who wished to not be so lonely, a Blooper who wished for fame (Hey, hasn’t Mario yanked that guy’s tentacles off before?), a snowman who wished to not melt, and a Piranha Plant who wished for… more food.

Kersti slowly realizes that the wishes her people give are the furthest thing from benevolent, and in the final battle, sacrifices herself so her father, the last Royal Sticker, can be removed from Bowser.

Hooray! The day is saved! Everybody would like a nice nap now please.

LUIGI’S MANSION: THE LAST RESORT

I had to change the title because I am putting a game called “Luigi’s Mansion 3” after a game called “Luigi’s Mansion 2”.

After their stupidest adventure yet, Peach and the Mario bros are all too happy to check into an all-expenses-paid five-star hotel after they get a letter inviting them to go. After all, Bowser seemed pretty wiped, too, and who else would be out there to get them? Cackletta? No, she’s super-dead. Wario? No, he’s too busy on the grindset. King Boo? Ha! No, he’s trapped in a painting!

The group get greeted by a bunch of cheery-but-stiff-faced bellhops, as well as the owner of the hotel herself, who insists you just call her Hellen. They all get comfortable for their stay, and separate for the night.

…Luigi wakes up in a cold sweat. Something is very wrong. He just has a gut feeling. He looks around the hotel, trying to find Mario and Peach, but to no avail. The entire hotel seems darker, somehow. Suddenly, he’s face to face with a grinning Hellen, who backs away to reveal- Not only is she a ghost, but she broke King Boo out of his painting because she’s his BIGGEST fan. King Boo reveals that he’s trapped Mario and Peach in paintings, and wants to save the best for last- The meddling plumber who GOT HIM SHUT AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

Luigi manages to escape, and on the first floor, finds E. Gadd who is once again caught in the crosshairs. Now, the two of them (Make that three of them- E. Gadd reveals he was going to give this to Luigi on his birthday, but is forced to reveal it early… A slime clone of Luigi called Gooigi. He is so… unnerving. Why would E. Gadd make this as a birthday present.) must work together to recover all of the elevator buttons, slowly ascend up the floors of the hotel, and confront Hellen Gravely and King Boo at the very tippy-top, locking them in a ghost-keeping chamber that E. Gadd made.

PAPER MARIO: COLOUR SPLASH

Yes, I’m spelling it like that.

Mario, Peach and Luigi all take a trip to Port Prisma, a more beachside area of the Mushroom Kingdom! (Luigi asks that if there’s something crazy can you please keep him out of it. He’s tired from the hotel.)

Surely nothing bad will happen.

Unfortunately, because Bowser is a knucklehead and tried to dye his shell rainbow in Port Prisma’s rainbow fountain, he accidentally mixed it all together to create ugly Black Paint, and is having an ill-informed Giant Rampage across the kingdom. And the Koopalings get to help, too!

Mario and Peach team up with Huey, a paint bucket, to beat Bowser because why not? Let’s just throw Peach in there for funs.

Huey sacrifices himself and it’s very sad. Luigi gets to put his karting license to work.

MARIO & LUIGI: DREAM TEAM

Okay but can we get that nice nap for REAL?!

This time, the gang chooses to go to the relaxing Pi’illo Island, whose tourism is entirely based on sleeping and having nice dreams.

…Hey, remember back in Super Mario Bros. 2 when a bat-thing named Antasma tried to feed on Mario’s nightmares but failed spectacularly? Well, he’s baa-aaaaaack…

Antasma’s goal is to collect the Dream Stone and gain enough power to put the entire island into an eternal sleep, ruling it as the king of nightmares. Obviously, we can’t let that happen. …Oh, yeah, and he convinced Bowser to work with him and kidnapped Peach as a sign of goodwill. DAMMIT, GUYS, SHE HAD SUCH A GOOD STREAK GOING.

Mario and Luigi team up with Prince Dreambert, former prince of the kingdom who had been frozen in stone for years, to chase after Antasma. It’s also revealed that Luigi has immense power in the dream world- Dreamy Luigi has the force of ONE HUNDRED MEN. What the hell?! Maybe it’s because he has his head in the cloud so much… Who knows?

And BTW Antasma betrays Bowser this time and not the other way around. That was fucking stupid, what happened in the real game. I didn’t like it.

During the final battle, Antasma idly comments on Luigi, saying he wishes he tried to influence him to do his bidding, nearly salivating over his dream-power, but also saying he… “senses something dark within Luigi”? Whatever that means. Oh, well, he’s a crazy bat anyways, let’s just attack him and make sure Pi’illo Island never has to deal with him again. Bye-bye!

(Also I have nowhere to put this but Antasma can totally turn people into nightmare vampires. Isn’t that cool? I think it’s cool. It’s why I added it.)

SUPER MARIO GALAXY

Have you ever just wanted to say “Fuck it, let’s go to space”? Bowser has.

It’s the Star Festival! Which is NOT THE SAME AS THE STICKER FESTIVAL, OKAY? There’s a lot of stuff out there in space. Give us a break. Besides, THIS one orbits the Mushroom Kingdom every 100 years. But, of course, Bowser has to take his chance to mess everything up as per usual. He lifts Peach’s castle into space using a UFO, and before Mario and Luigi can stop him, Kamek casts a spell that launches the both of them into deep space.

Mario wakes up on a strange planet separated from Luigi, where a creature called a Luma guides him to the gateway to the starry sky. There, he meets an… interesting character. Miss Rosalina is icy, short-tempered, and a total recluse, only interacting with the Lumas on her ship. She’s like a doting mother to them, and is protective over them to an extreme degree.

When one of the Lumas begs her to help Mario, she’s reluctant at first, but when she hears Peach is in trouble, she loosens up a little. Although still extremely wary of Mario, she agrees to help.

Mario’s primary goal is to find Luigi, knowing he can definitely help lend a hand looking for the princess. He eventually recovers him in that ghost galaxy he was stuck in. How ironic.

Over time, Mario and Luigi learn more about Rosalina’s past. Apparently, although not from the Mushroom Kingdom or even their planet, she was on a very similar planet with a human family of her own. That is, until the Shroobs invaded and drained her planet of all its resources, leaving her as the sole survivor. She keeps a watchful eye over the Mushroom Kingdom in fear that the Shroobs will one day return to it. If she can’t protect her home… Perhaps she can protect another place.

(Side note: as of this part in the story, Mario and Luigi don’t know jack about the Shroobs, so to them, it’s just a story about hostile aliens who… might attack the Mushroom Kingdom?)

They get Peach back from Bowser, and stop him from creating a new galaxy. Obviously the whole WELCOME NEW GALAXY!! thing doesn’t happen in this AU. I need this galaxy, thanks.

The gang bids farewell to Rosalina. She’s still pretty shut-off, but with a mumble, she promises to visit sometime.

PAPER MARIO: THE ORIGAMI KING

You ever wonder what those wacky Toads get up to on their days off?

Yeah, me neither. One day, Peach gets jumped by a little origami boy named King Olly and turned into origami, which he plans on doing to the entire world. He does this because he believes he was brought to life only as a mockery, and that he should show the entire world that origami is beautiful, rather than these unsightly lumps and grooves everyone seems to have.

Bowser gets stapled for his time. That’s what you get, idiot.

Olly manages to successfully kidnap Luigi as well, but can’t seem to be able to fold him into origami. It’s like something within him is protecting him… SIGH… Olly begrudgingly says he’ll “just fold Luigi last”. He and Olly have a lot of conversations about their siblings.

Mario goes to unfurl the streamers that block Peach’s castle, and along the way, he meets Olly’s sister, Olivia! She wants to stop Olly from turning the world into origami because, well, she likes the world! Along the way, they fight the Legion of Stationery, craft supplies turned giant by Olly’s magic. They also rescue the Origami Craftsman, who reveals that he wrote a message about Olly being a lovely king on him before he folded him to life. It was an act of love, not shame.

The gang manage to beat Olly, and before he can finish folding 1000 cranes to make a wish (The Star Spirits apologize. They really did forget about that method.), Olivia changes his heart, and instead wishes that everything folded by her brother would be unfolded. She sacrifices herself, and Olly, weakened, becomes unfolded as well. Mario is very sad. Luigi wonders if he should ignore the implication that the sunny, bright sibling is left to clean up the mess of the dark, broody sibling. That’s probably nothing.

SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY

Anyways, who wants a GLOBE-TROTTING FUN-VENTURE?! This totally isn’t the calm before the storm, before you ask!!!!!

Bowser decides to go for it, this time. And he means REALLY go for it. HE’S GONNA MARRY PEACH!!! Peach, obviously, isn’t as big a fan of this, but you know what that means! MORE KIDNAPPING! Mario now has to chase Peach across some of the outer Kingdoms way, WAY across the map- although some are familiar. Tostarena, for example, is a town in Sarasaland now, instead of just the Sand Kingdom! Just like the Seaside Kingdom is now a secluded spot on Isle Delfino! Et cetera, et cetera.

The Koopalings replace the Broodals. They’re all packed onto one boat. It’s as awkward as it sounds.

Mario has a teary reunion with Pauline, who’s now the mayor of New Donk City. He’s glad to see she’s doing so well for herself.

Luigi is by Mario’s side this time, of course, but since he doesn’t have a buddy from the Cap Kingdom, he does struggle to keep up quite often. Oh, well! That’s life, he supposes!

Wario also keeps popping by because he wants Mario to say hello. No, say hello like he MEANS it. He’s grimacing. He’s grimacing again. IS THAT REALLY ANY WAY TO TREAT YOUR COUSIN.

Mario manages to stop the wedding before Peach can even think of saying “I do”- but it’s not like she would ever say that anyways.

LUIGI’S MANSION: DARK MOON

Oh, wow! This time, Luigi isn’t getting tricked by winning a free thing! How novel! Yes, this time, E. Gadd has sent a letter inviting Luigi over to research ghosts with him in a place called Evershade Valley, which is apparently a habitat for many unique ghosts, and likely where all of Hellen Gravely’s hotel staff- as well as she herself- came from!

When Luigi gets there, though, trouble finds him quickly. He gets knocked out as soon as he arrives, he hears King Boo’s laugh in his ears… and when he wakes up again, he’s… HE’S… A GHOST?!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-

A voice tells him to stop screaming. Eldstar? Is that you? GRAMBI, MAYBE?? The voice speaks again, groaning that he NEEDS to stop screaming, because he’s NOT DEAD. Luigi turns to see that on the usual monitor he’d contact E. Gadd on, there’s someone else instead… A mysterious scientist with his face obscured.

He introduces himself as Professor Evershade, the leading scientist in Evershade Valley. He confirms that E. Gadd has been kidnapped by King Boo, and if Luigi wants to beat him, he’s going to need to piece together the Dark Moon, the ancient artifact that was buried in pieces here in Evershade Valley. It alone has the power to seal King Boo’s fate.

Evershade goes on to explain that Luigi’s new ghostly form isn’t permanent, it’s just a temporary power-up that Evershade invented. He can turn a button on a remote control to activate and de-activate ghost mode at will whenever he wants. Luigi navigates his way through the various mansions of Evershade Valley, using the ghost power-up to solve various puzzles within it.

This is where things get interesting. During the final mansion, when Luigi finally frees E. Gadd, Professor Gadd quickly rushes to tell Luigi he’s been deceived- but it’s too late. Appearing before the two of them, applauding sarcastically, is Professor Evershade. He whips off his hat and tears out his scarf, revealing that he’s a ghost- AND that he’s actually… LUIGI?!

Evershade begins to explain. Around this time, he becomes more of a recluse, with certain events that happen in the near future discouraging him from going on adventures with Mario. (You’ll know it when you see it. It’s in Partners In Time. But Luigi doesn’t know that yet!) He throws himself into ghost research with E. Gadd, but E. Gadd eventually passes, leaving Luigi as the lone researcher in Evershade Valley. The seal on E. Gadd’s containment cell for King Boo breaks after years of neglect and people just assuming it’s fine, and he immediately goes to find Luigi, ending his game for his insolence. Thanks to the power of King Boo’s crown, most weaker ghosts find themselves unable to disobey him… And now, that includes Luigi. Enraged and spiteful after being forced to work under his worst enemy for years, he formulates a plan. Apparently, some time in the future, something called the Cobalt Star gets unveiled from Peach’s basement, and Luigi, knowing about this, goes down to the basement to steal it for himself, so he can invent a time machine.

But why, Luigi asks? Why would Evershade invent a time machine and go back WAY before he was supposed to be killed?

Evershade responds simply. He doesn’t want to change some other version of him’s future- HE WANTS HIS MORTALITY BACK. And he was using his device to temporarily steal it… from HIMSELF. This is the final nail in the coffin that E. Gadd was warning Luigi about… The Dark Moon will grant Evershade the power to swap his mortality with Luigi… PERMANENTLY.

Him and Evershade get into a fight, and Luigi manages to win, with him chastising Evershade for falling so far from grace. Evershade, in turn, chastises him for being naive and not seeing the obvious. “This is the way that we are, Luigi. It’s the way we were always going to be.”

WHICH PROBABLY MEANS NOTHING.

But, y’know, how did Luigi end up trapped in Evershade Valley in the first place? That powerful barrier isn’t going away… perhaps Evershade was working with someone?

YES. KING BOO. But it’s OUR King Boo- the King Boo of the present. Evershade freed him in exchange for the king lending some of his power to help trap Luigi here. Oh, my, Evershade offered him freedom AND the fact that the present version of Luigi would become a ghost permanently, therefore being forced to work under him? Count him in.

King Boo is beaten. Luigi looks fear right in the eye. E. Gadd seals him inside the Dark Moon- Evershade DID say it had the power to seal fates! And he’s proud knowing that this sealing surely won’t break with time.

Evershade, pride wounded, tries retreating back into his time machine, before realizing… he’s fading away. Luigi just prevented his own terrible future.

But, y’know, as they return home, E. Gadd thinks… Is time travel really possible with that Cobalt Star? And if it is, is it actually in Peach’s basement? And- hey, wait a minute, if Evershade told them about that… did he find it out from E. Gadd too, who now… found it out from Evershade? Did- did they just create a time paradox?

Ugh. My head hurts.

MARIO & LUIGI: BOWSER’S INSIDE STORY

Luigi returns home just in time, as Mario quickly drags him out the door to go to Peach’s castle- apparently there’s an emergency conference. Looks like E. Gadd might have to wait a bit on that Cobalt Star follow-up!

All of the Mushroom Kingdom is getting immobilized by this disease called the Blorbs, and they need to- Oh, what the hell, why is BOWSER here?! Get out of here, man.

Anyways-

Bowser comes back like five minutes later after he ate a weird mushroom from a vendor. He accidentally ends up sucking Mario, Luigi and Peach right up, along with a Star Sprite named Starlow. So that’s why those guys are in there.

A-NY-WAYS, you remember Cackletta’s minion, Fawful? Yeah? Well, now he’s BACK, baby! With a vengeance! He plans to take over both the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms using his genius, and his first step? Trapping those meddlesome Mario bros. inside Bowser!

Bowser and the bros. now have to work together to stop Fawful from unearthing the Dark Star, an evil entity the Star Spirits THOUGHT they buried, HELLO, does nobody LISTEN to them anymore?

The Dark Star has no relation to any of the Star Children, but it does believe Bowser to be the Dark Star Child, taking his form in order to better conquer the world. Around this time, Fawful goes from being Fawful to a souped-up Dark Fawful… then downgraded to itty-bitty bug form, crawling inside Dark Bowser to help him there.

Bowser SAVES THE WORLD!! Wow, that… felt kinda good, actually. He never realized how fun it was hanging out with the bros. when he’s not attacking them… But- he’s still tough! Yeah! Don’t even think about assuming otherwise!

MARIO & LUIGI: PARTNERS IN TIME

Now that everything’s calmed down, E. Gadd FINALLY has the chance to ask Peach about looking in her basement for the Cobalt Star. And… lo and behold, there it is! Peach remembers it was her mother’s, and that they kept it sealed down here for a reason, but nobody can really remember that reason anymore, least of all her.

E. Gadd reveals a time machine he built, with a spot to slot that Cobalt Star RIGHT in! But before he can step in himself, the castle gets STORMED by these purple aliens- we, of course, know them as the Shroobs, but to the Mario bros, they’re unknown, and for Peach, they were just a hazy vision she saw in her nightmares sometimes.

Mario and Luigi try to fight them off, but they get knocked out and shoved inside the machine, presumably so the Shroobs can make sure they don’t cause any more trouble. When the bros. are woken up again, they’ve been transported to the “present” again… just not a present they know. This present has… Bowser and Luigi on the same side? Seems weird. Also unrelated. The princess also seems immensely frustrated at this. She orders her guards to knock out the brothers again so they don’t cause trouble (at least, that’s what they gleaned from her alien language), but they manage to get the upper hand, beating the Shroobs back. The only problem? The princess decides to repay this insolence by leaving them STRANDED. IN A PRESENT THAT ISN’T THEIRS.

Luigi is freaking out a little. Pacing back and forth. The works. Mario has an idea, though… This present doesn’t seem TOO badly scuffed by whatever those Shroobs did yet… maybe he can pay some old friends a visit.

He drags Luigi across the land for a bit, until they reach it- the Star Road, home of the Star Spirits. But, this time, there’s this GATE installed? (“This wasn’t here before,” Mario complains! “Maybe it’s an anti-Bowser measure in this timeline”, Luigi shrugs hopelessly.) The gate claims it needs to tests if the brothers are pure of heart. It gives Mario a pass with flying colours, but Luigi… It deems less than worthy. It says he’s a coward, he’s got darkness in his heart, and even accuses him of lying- He’s openly sobbing at this point as Mario starts hammering the gate in blind fury. The gate is like “WOAH WOAH STOP OKAY IT WAS A TEST I’M SORRY”. It reveals it was testing Mario and Luigi’s bond as brothers, and they passed, and that it REALLY DIDN’T MEAN ANY OF THAT STUFF LUIGI CALM DOWN. Luigi does eventually stop hyperventilating, and goes through the gate, but he does wonder… He wonders if maybe that gate wasn’t lying about everything.

Anyways, Mario finally reaches the Star Spirits, and chews Eldstar out for that stupid gate (“Not our fault, your brother is a real character”). He explains that he and Luigi are from a timeline where Luigi is a good guy, and something has gone terribly wrong thanks to some time-traveling Shroobs, and could they please have a time machine to use PLEASE. Eldstar nods sagely, agreeing that they seem like they’re the “true” versions of the bros. They temporarily present Mario with a watch that lets them time travel. Yay!

The next few parts of their adventure involve the bros desperately trying to give chase to the Shroobs, but each time they try to catch them, it seems the Shroobs are one step ahead, and they’re left in yet another alternate present.

Luigi starts noticing a fairly concerning pattern. That previous timeline had Luigi as Bowser’s right-hand man… And the more they travel, the more he sees it… A timeline where Luigi is turned into a vampire by Antasma, a timeline where the Dark Star forcibly implants itself onto Luigi, a timeline where Luigi is adopted by Cackletta and is Fawful’s main minion, Professor Evershade’s timeline is back again, a timeline where Luigi becomes Mayor Spike’s secretary, a timeline where Luigi is a Yoshi-hunter, a timeline where he just kinda snaps one day with no explanation… Why is it that Luigi is turning out evil in every single timeline…?

Finally, the bros manage to catch the moment in the past the Shroobs keep frantically returning to, as they keep going back to around that time, trying to influence something. That time… is when Mario and Luigi were babies.

Mario ends up bumping into Baby Mario before the Yoshis do, and the poor guy is crying about his brother so much that Mario has no choice but to take him along with them. Luigi asks if it’s okay if they’re meddling with time like that, sweating. Mario shrugs. The Shroobs have been doing it literally the entire time, why shouldn’t they?

Mario wants to get to Baby Peach as soon as he can to try and solve the mystery of what the Shroobs are after, but Baby Mario is indignant, crying and crying until he knows for SURE his brother is safe. Mario gives Luigi a pleading look- could he please go rescue his baby self?

Luigi nods. Of course. He won’t let his brother down. He runs off to the place he remembers only faintly- the Koopa kingdom before Bowser’s castle was built. He does find where his baby self is being kept, but he hides behind a rock to try and get the jump on Kamek, waiting for the right time. He waits in the shadows, spying on Kamek as he mills about.

That’s when he sees it- He sees Kamek lifting up his star necklace, sees that it’s purple, sees Kamek grumble and cast a spell so it looks gold. His blood runs cold. His face goes pale. He thinks he’s going to be sick. The Dark Star Child. The one everyone thought was just a myth. The one everyone shrugged and assumed was “probably going to be Bowser, anyways”. Luigi. Luigi was the Dark Star Child all along. He was the Dark Star Child and he didn’t even know, he didn’t know, was this why? Was this why Mario shot off before him? Was Luigi joining him a fluke? A mistake, because nobody knew what he truly was? THE DARK STAR CHILD? THE ONE DESTINED TO BE MARIO’S ENEMY ALL ALONG?-

Mario texts him from his corresponding watch, asking if he’s got his baby self yet. Luigi tries to shake off the impending panic attack and quickly nabs his baby self when Kamek isn’t looking, trying to will himself to stop shaking. He rejoins Mario when Mario flies a hot air balloon down to him, and they head to Peach’s castle to finally battle the Shroobs.

When they get there, Princess Shroob is shrieking in frustration, stomping her foot. The bros look confused, to say the least, but nearby, Russ, Peach’s father, catches them up. He’s figured out the Shroobish thanks to his language studies, and does a rough translation of it- apparently the bros came in just after Cerise sealed herself into the Cobalt Star, along with someone else… The princess is furious, she’s been trying to prevent THIS EXACT EVENT dozens of times over. She doesn’t understand why it isn’t working. But then- she realizes. She abandons the past entirely, zipping back into the present.

Before the bros give chase, Russ stops them with a weak smile, telling them he’s proud of them, and… to say hello to his little girl for him. The bros nod, and they zap to the future, taking the babies with them until they can defeat the Shroobs.

Back in the present, Princess Shroob begins RIPPING APART THE TIME MACHINE. All this time, she’s been trying to stop their old leader from being sucked into the Cobalt Star, and she never realized the Cobalt Star was buried deep inside the machine, FUELING IT! SHE NEEDS TO DESTROY IT! She smashes it onto the ground, and both Cerise and Elder Princess Shroob are freed, the younger sister cackling, grateful to be united with her older sister at last.

The brothers and the babies team up to defeat the monstrosity, and they KILL her. For good this time. The intergalactic conquerors flee in terror, deciding to leave the planet alone for good, now in mourning for the queen they just got back. (Good riddance, you pillagers.)

The brothers use the time travel watch one last time to return their past selves back home. They drop them off at their parents’ house, which is… roughly how they remember their parents finding them, anyways. They breathe a sigh of relief- apart from having some new alien-related childhood trauma, it seems they managed to keep the timeline intact.

Meanwhile, back at Peach’s castle, Peach gets to say a true goodbye to her mother. Cerise explains that she used the time-warping powers of the Cobalt Star to extend her and her husband’s lifespans, and it won’t be long now before she falls to the same rapid-onset aging that got her Russ. She kisses Peach goodbye and wishes her good luck before asking to be taken to the town of Rogueport to live out her last days, saying it “reminds her of her beloved one”.

Rogueport, huh…

PAPER MARIO: THE THOUSAND YEAR DOOR

This part of the saga starts with Peach traveling to Rogueport after her mother passes on, wanting to connect with her past and the stories of her parents more. She meets a mysterious merchant who presents her with a mystical box, and before you know it… she gets kidnapped. Poor girl.

Mario receives a letter inviting him to join Peach in Rogueport. She attaches a treasure map she got from the merchant, and the intrigue leads Mario to packing his bags right away! He asks if Luigi is ready to go, but Luigi shakes his head, seemingly really shaken by the events of Partners In Time. Huh. Guess he’s got a phobia of aliens too, Mario thinks…? Anyways, Mario heads out.

In town, Mario helps out a Goomba, Goombella, protecting her from Lord Crump and the X-Nauts, a mysterious sci-fi organization. Goombella has Mario take the magical map to her professor, Professor Frankly, who reveals that the map is a map to the Legendary Treasure of Rogueport, that lies beyond the Thousand-Year Door, and can only be opened by the seven Crystal Stars united. Treasure hunt! Treasure hunt!

Over time, as Mario collects the Crystal Stars, he realizes the X-Nauts have captured Peach, and that the “treasure” may not be what it seems…

Meanwhile, Bowser is on a quest to rescue Peach from her kidnapping, because ONLY HE CAN KIDNAP HER, DAMMIT! He’s also trying to find the Crystal Stars, but is turning up absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile meanwhile, even though he said he wanted to stay home, Luigi shows up in Rogueport, practically shaking… with excitement! He’s been contacted by Princess Eclair! The compass! The Marvelous Compass! He’s going to help her! He’s going to help everyone! He’s a hero! See! He really is! What was that you said about a ‘manic episode’?? He has noooo idea what you’re talking about! Ha ha! Boy, is Blooey giving you the stinkeye, too?! He definitely isn’t messing his whole quest up, see? This PROVES he’s a hero, right? RIGHT??

The Thousand-Year Door is opened, thanks to Mario getting tricked. Sir Grodus drags Peach through the Palace of Shadow, and offers her up to the Shadow Queen… The exact vessel that the Shadow Siren Beldam picked.

After all… Peach does have a shadow’s DNA within her, deep down. Perhaps it could be reawakened…

(We’ve known this part for ages, but for Mario and Peach, this is the grand reveal that Cerise was once a demon, a Shadow Sister.)

Before the Shadow Queen can get too far with that, though, Mario uses the power of the Crystal Stars to seal away the demon once more. With the combined power of the Stars being used against her AGAIN, and Mario being one of the Star Children, instead of simply being sealed away, she’s defeated- for good.

Peach wakes up, and Mario takes care of her during her slow recovery. Although a little shaken by the experience, there is one thing she doesn’t regret… She was glad she got to experience memories of her mother through her aunt’s eyes.

Also, if you’ve been keeping track, that means Peach is technically cousins of sorts with the Shadow Sirens! Surprise!

SUPER PAPER MARIO

Ahhh. What a lovely, regular day. Nothing will happen here. On this day. This regular day. Peach and Luigi definitely aren’t recovering from world-shattering revelations or anything.

Oh, no! Peach got kidnapped! Better head over to that silly Bowser’s place! Ha ha- ...Wait. Bowser’s saying he was just doing his minion pep-talk to head over to Peach’s place. If HE didn’t kidnap Peach… then who?

All of a sudden, teleporting in is a mysterious man in a cape and hat, proclaiming himself to be Count Bleck, a follower of the Dark Prognosticus. He reveals he’s the one who kidnapped Peach, and then proceeds to kidnap Bowser, all his minions, and Luigi. Mario managed to escape the fray.

He awakens to a mysterious creature known as a Pixl floating near him. She introduces herself as Tippi, and explains that while he was out, Count Bleck apparently forced a marriage between Peach and Bowser, as their union causes the creation of something known as the Chaos Heart. This gives Count Bleck the ability to create the Void, something that will end all worlds if given the chance. Oh, jeez.

Tippi brings him to a place called Flipside, where a wizard known as Merlon explains that Mario is one of the four heroes of legend, a hero mentioned in the Light Prognosticus. Mario questions this, and Merlon explains that the Dark Prognosticus is a dark, foreboding book that foretells the end of all worlds. The Light Prognosticus is a prophecy written to specifically counteract the dark one, foretelling that four heroes will save all worlds. Both prophecies mention that a “Man in Green” will be the deciding factor to which prophecy comes true.

Merlon also explains that the heroes are described as being “blessed by the stars”- and Mario realizes that THIS is where the idea of the Star Children comes from. Of course, Mario’s known for a LONG time now that he was one of the Star Children (Between various people telling him and him witnessing it himself as his baby self wore his half-star necklace), but MAN, what a realization- that this thing people have been calling you for a good chunk of your life is actually a WORLD-SAVING HERO. IT’S YOUR DESTINY. Now, he has to collect the 8 Pure Hearts and stop Count Bleck from destroying all worlds, along with reuniting with the other 3 heroes- The other 3 Star Children.

Mario finds Peach knocked out in Flipside after she was teleported away from Castle Bleck, and he finds Bowser in the Bitlands, trying to rule over an old abandoned castle he found. Bowser takes a bit more convincing, stubborn as he is. Kamek, weeping, begs Bowser to go save the world, and that he IS one of the Star Children, and he’s SORRY HE NEVER TOLD HIM. Bowser rolls his eyes, flatly telling Kamek that he knew he was one of the Star Children way before this. (“It was kinda obvious, Kamek.”)

Luigi, meanwhile, is less fortunate, having never escaped Castle Bleck. He’s eventually tracked down by Bleck’s secretary, Nastasia, and is brainwashed into becoming Count Bleck’s newest minion. MR.L, THE GREEN THUNDER! Of course, the Count makes it known to his other minions that he suspects Mr. L is the Man in Green, and having him on their side should ensure their victory and fulfillment of the prophecy.

Along the way, the three heroes are constantly made to duel with O’Chunks, Mimi, Dimentio, and the aforementioned Mr. L, Bleck’s minions sent to stop them.

The group comes to an impasse when they fail to prevent the destruction of one of the worlds- Sammer’s Kingdom. The Pure Heart is nullified, turned into rock, and they seem to be stuck. This is when Dimentio shows up, snapping his fingers and seemingly killing the heroes. (After taking a quick pit stop to kill Mr. L, too, of course!) This allows them to go into the Underwhere and ask Queen Jaydes to restore the Pure Heart. Jaydes agrees, and as Mario goes off to find Luigi beneath the River Styx, Jaydes and Peach catch up as aunt and niece.

Once they gather all the Pure Hearts, the heroes make the long trek to Castle Bleck, and are taken out one by one- O’Chunks and Bowser keep the ceiling from falling down, Mimi and Peach fall down a pit, and Dimentio seemingly… attempts a murder-suicide with Luigi??

Either way, Mario faces off against the Count, and the other three heroes show back up in the middle of the fight (with Luigi saying he has literally no idea how he wound up alive). They use the power of the Pure Hearts to defeat Bleck, and he reveals that he’s been waiting for this moment.

Of course, Bleck is Blumiere, a man from the Tribe of Darkness who was forbidden from seeing Timpani, a human woman. When Blumiere’s father cursed Timpani and made her disappear, Blumiere, in his depression, stole the Dark Prognosticus, vowing to end the world since it is not a world he can truly be happy in. Not without Timpani. And, of course, Timpani is Tippi, the woman cursed into becoming a Pixl.

Before Bleck can be killed, stopping the Void, Dimentio knocks him out of the way, claiming that the Chaos Heart won’t disappear if he continues to control it. He reveals his plan to create a perfect new world where he rules it as a god. He also exclaims that he’s going to unlock the true power of the Chaos Heart by fusing it with its ideal host- the Man in Green, the Dark Star Child, Luigi… They’re all yours, Mr. L!~

Luigi, thanks to a mind-controlling Floro Sprout that Dimentio secretly planted within him, fuses with the Chaos Heart without second thought, becoming a horrible man-chaos monstrosity, a three-way fusion between himself, the Chaos Heart, and Dimentio, very humbly named “Super Dimentio”. I don’t think you have to guess who had the naming privileges. Dimentio mocks Mario using his beloved brother’s voice, his beloved brother’s face (But not his smile. That is not how Luigi smiles.), and happily proclaims that the four heroes “used up” all the Pure Hearts, therefore leaving him as the invincible king of all worlds.

Meanwhile, in Dimension D, where Dimentio has teleported Bleck to die off in a little corner where he doesn’t need to see, Bleck and Tippi are found by their minions, who proclaim that they truly do love the Count, despite everything, and that he can’t give up- and THEY can’t give up on Mr. L! Luigi or not, their friend needs their help! The love that they’re showing- for Bleck, for Luigi, for the minions, for Tippi… It’s enough to summon the Pure Hearts, restored once more. After all. love is NOT a finite resource! Overjoyed, Tippi brings them back to Mario and co.

Dimentio is caught off guard by the appearance of the Pure Hearts. They seem to bring Luigi back to consciousness for a moment deep within the fusion, and he is able to temporarily take control. But when Mario gets to speak to his brother, what he doesn’t expect is to see Luigi’s lip quivering, black tears streaming down his distorted face. He tells Mario to just let him go- that he’s a monster who was never good enough to be his brother. He’s lost all hope. But Mario won’t let it end like that. He cries out that he REBUKES his destiny. He’s not a hero because he was FATED to be, he’s a hero because he CHOOSES to be! He doesn’t do good things because it was written in a dusty old book, he does it to see people smile! He didn’t tolerate Luigi because he didn’t know he was the Dark Star Child- He LOVES Luigi! Because he’s his BROTHER, dammit!

WE CAN CHOOSE OUR OWN DESTINIES, LUIGI! AND I CHOOSE TO SAVE YOU! BUT I CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT YOUR HELP!

Mario reaches out a hand- and Luigi’s massive glove touches itself to his. In the last few moments before Dimentio takes control again, he manages to make it so that his body is vulnerable to the Pure Hearts, and Super Dimentio’s invincibility vanishes. As Dimentio regains control, he lets out a scream of frustration. The heroes will pay for this!

But it’s too late. The Man In Green has chosen. Despite every force in the universe trying to make Luigi fulfill his destiny of becoming Mario’s darker half… Luigi’s love for his brother trumps it all. His goodness shines through, thanks to the goodness of the people he surrounded himself with. Super Dimentio is defeated by the heroes, and goes down shrieking. Before he and Luigi unfuse, Dimentio laughs, revealing that he’s left behind a shadow of his power to continue controlling the Chaos Heart. Even as the horrific fusion gets dragged into the Underwhere where it belongs and Luigi gets spat back out, there’s no time to celebrate. The world is ending within MINUTES if something isn’t done.

Bleck and Tippi agree to use the Pure Hearts to banish the Chaos Heart, knowing they will sacrifice their own lives in the process. They renew their vows, and in a flash… they’re gone.

The Star Children return to the Mushroom Kingdom, waving the people of Flipside goodbye. Luigi promises he’ll visit the Bleck minions soon. They all settle in, and realize… they’ve gotta have a talk.

AFTER THE STORM

Mario feels like he’s going to collapse under the pressure if he has one more GRAMBI-DAMNED PROPHECY HE HAS TO FULFILL. OH, HE IS SO SICK OF BEING A STAR CHILD. SO. STAR-DAMN. SICK. SICK OF IT. S-I-C-K. He wants to be a hero on his own terms, not because he’s destined to be one! But if he does, doesn’t that just mean he’s playing into this dumb prophecy anyways? He’s so tired of carrying peoples’ legacies on his back. The other three point out to him that in the end, wasn’t it Tippi and Bleck who defeated Dimentio and sealed away the Chaos Heart? And wasn’t it Mario himself who directly told the universe he wasn’t going to play their games anymore? Mario does have to admit that’s true. He breathes a sigh of relief, feeling a sense of… freedom. It’s been a while, but he finally feels like he can rest.

As for Peach, she’s always struggled with a sense of feeling like she doesn’t belong anywhere. After all, both her parents died/disappeared into the Cobalt Star when she was just a baby, and she was left with nothing but a kingdom full of Toads and so, so many questions. Even though she wasn’t expecting to be in the lineage of a thousand-year-old shadow demon, it’s… a bit of a relief, finally knowing. And through learning, she realizes that she’s always had a home- among the people who love her.

Bowser was always trained to be the best Koopa he could be, and what he thought he was, he was proud of! His entire kingdom was proud of him, wanting him to be the first Koopa to ever triumph over the Mushroom Kingdom! But he realizes… he’s much happier being a do-what-I-want antihero instead of constantly aiming for absolute conquest all the time. And he’s gonna tell Kamek that. …Though Kamek has considerably mellowed out over the years, too. Maybe Bowser’s always been forging his own path!

And Luigi… Oh, boy, Luigi. Everything comes spilling out at once. His feelings of inferiority, his impostor syndrome, his jealousy, his fear, him seeing Kamek disguise his star necklace, realizing he was the Dark Star Child all along, being horrified by himself, being constantly pushed by the universe to be a darker version of Mario, witnessing a dozen bad futures of himself… It was a lot. And- he’s still not sure any of those issues got solved… But he’s going to try his hardest to stand by his friends and let them in when he’s feeling like the world’s collapsing around him. He’s gonna tell them what he feels- even the ugly ones that he’s repressed for so long. He’s gonna live every day in spite of what the prophecies tried to twist him into.

#mario #super mario #fate of the stars au #paper mario #mario & luigi #mario au #IM NERVOUS POSTING THIS BUT. ILL BE STRONG.#lemme know if you liked it. this is kinda my baby \o/#yes i have a lot of au babies. im a father #also any inaccuracies from the source are probably intentional i promise you ok?#this is my au! things will be different!!

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