#“when I rage I rap about money in autotune”

[therealbadegg]

Hello gang, welcome back to the Official BadEgg YouTube channel

I have big announcement for today, as well as new rap releasing in 1 minute. Guess who just couldn’t handle dating the coolest of the cool boys, Mischa Bachinski ‼️‼️

NATALIA MURUSKA BOLINSKA

And here is my RESPONSE…

*deep inhale.*

*hip-hop music starts playing.*

I’m too cool for the schools, yeah I’m gonna break some rules, yeah I’m too cool and it’s true, yeah Cause I’m so awesome-sauce, epic boss, turn it up and do a toss, makes all the homies say “hell yeah!”

Scrolling on the Tumblrs when I see on my feed Another cool anon sends a message that I read They hit me with a “why”, I hit the reply I slide into the DMs ‘cause I’m just so fly

I fly like the bird, I rap like Eminem candy Call me C. Blackwood, my life is so dandy Dandy- dandelions, they blow into the wind I never take no Ls, yeah, I’m always on a win WOAH

I’m too cool for the schools, yeah I’m gonna break some rules, yeah I’m too cool and it’s true, yeah Cause I’m so awesome-sauce, epic boss, rewind the chorus

I’m too cool for the girls, yeah I’m gonna rule the world, yeah I’m too cool and you know it, yeah я такий крутий, yeah

Now it’s me and the choir, living out the dream This crazy dream of life, it spins ‘til we scream Our heads are attached and our bodies are alive But my heart feels empty, shattered inside..

I swore to you my life at the alter of the gods Yet my love was not enough to fight against our odds Maybe it was me, you were never meant to stay So close to my fingertips yet so far away

…

I’m too cool for the feels, yeah This heartfelt shit is for reals, yeah Cannot conceal my pain, but still I know my name and I say it again, ‘cause

I’M TOO COOL FOR THE SCHOOLS, YEAH I BREAK ALL THE RULES, YEAH I’M TOO COOL, REAL ONES KNOW IT’S TRUE WHEN I GO AND SAY TO YOU AND I NEVER HAVE TO PROVE

I AM AWESOME-SAUCE, EPIC BOSS, TURN IT UP AND DO A TOSS AS THE HOMIES SAY, “aw hell yeah!!!!!”

*heavy breathing*

…

BadEgg out.

[jdsmineralwater]

you would think learning all of the words to the pre tsia monologue would be something i remember doing

i do not

[robbinggoodfellows]

Y'all my new vocal stim is Mischa Bachinski's entire monologue and I hate it its so tiring to do but fuck its so much fun

[rtc-spin]

im on my period and i feel the rage. and when i rage, i rap about money in autotune. autotune will never die! HIT THE BEAT

[stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling]

this is how mischa became:

the angriest boy in town

ukrainian men have two emotion,,,,

RAGE

and

passion

you might know me as "bad egg" on the youtube????

i am well known there.

that is where i met my shorty, talia.

she is from kiev!!!!! from my country!!!!! and she gave me,,,

mostly positive feedback on my youtube comment wall!!

and then we became mad passionate all night lovers on facebook,,,,,,, twitter,,,,,, we made love with each other in my native language on ALL the social media networks

oh...too much passion....now rage

i have no respect for this country. fact: you want to know what canada is leading supplier of to whole world? two things. mustard seeds, and uranium. great for hotdogs, yes, but not so good for ukraine. so thank you for killing my mother and for indirectly killing me

i feel the rage........ and when i rage, i rap about money in autotune...

autotune will never die

[bi-shop]

um hello ! have my concept for an rtc swap au . none of the swaps are down to a T so penny won’t start rapping about money in autotune but they do share a lot of similarities . think ‘what happens if this character is in their situation?’

STILL GETS DECAPITATED AS YOU CAN SEE , but she's been identified by her foster family so she wasn't left in the dust

i'm sorry but there has to be a bunch of pent-up rage in this girl's system her entire stay in uranium is just being misunderstood like i'm plenty sure she has a Lot of resentment for the town because of it

swaps with mischa ! shares the traits of being in another family, definitely having a youtube channel ... and feeling homesick .

really misses elysium but knows going back there is impossible . there’s no changing that

lost and confused . very awkward . a Creature

retains most of her memories from her past life but that’s it . ‘the pushed aside and just seen as nice here’ is exaggerated to the point that’s the only thing people remember her for

swaps with jane , won’t be seen as a freaky monster but the choir does get creeped out by how often she dissociates throughout the competition

”oh yeah , i remember helping ocean with her crutches , and the choir … fall fair was fun … i was also helping with the blackwood cafe…” “but do you remember anything about yourself?”

”none that doesn’t pain me”

still has talia , in fact he still shares the same motivation of wanting to move back to ukraine to marry her .

HAS A BETTER SITUATION IN THIS ONE . is constance's adoptive brother but they weren't really too close ...

swaps with constance as you can tell ! despite being in a better situation he never felt like he integrated into the community and still has this resentment for canada

did it take a horrible accident for him to make peace with it ? probably

of course there are other characters (if you're curious, ricky is noel, noel is ocean and ocean is ricky, and i did somehow get karnak and virgil in the au) these are just the ones i put the most thought into SGHFS i hope to make the rest when i get back to my computer

[fluffyzoey]

10 Letters to Mom - Mischa angst

Mischa is instructed to write letters to his mother as if she were still alive to cope with losing her. He doesn’t write often, but the letters convey a lot.

Letters from Mischa Bachinski to his late mom, translated from his slightly broken English by Ezra Lamb, St. Cassian’s student, in memory of the boy, lost to the September 14th accident.

Letter 1: Dated September 9th, 2008

Dear mom, 

The counselor says I should write to someone I love to practice my English. And so, I am writing to you. Perhaps I will burn these letters by firelight, in hopes the smoke will travel up to you. 

Canada is not as nice as I thought it would be. Classes are terrible. In maths I have to sit between a snotty ginger and a strange poet boy. It makes no sense, how all of these people exist together in this tiny town. Home is no better. I do not think Chris and Carly like me that much. No, I will not call them mom and dad. 

I still miss you. Part of me still yearns to be a helpless boy again, still in your arms. 

I miss you. 

Love, your son, 

Mischa

Letter 2: Dated October 24th, 2008

Mom, 

I was suspended. I’m so sorry. I promised you I would be your good son, your small boy always. But I got angry. I was spiteful, and I wanted a drink, a drink always makes things better. And I only knew one way to get one. 

I know you said that churches are sacred and not to be crossed, but I heard the ginger from maths say she knew the pastor, knew where the communion wine was kept. I milked every last bit of information from her, promising to join her stupid choir. It doesn’t matter, I need the alcohol. 

3 whole boxes I stole before she ratted me out to Father Markus. 

I drank it all in one night. And the next morning, Saturday, as I lay there, hungover in the basement, I wondered how I was ever going to make my life worth it for you. I still do not know.

I’m sorry, mom. 

Love, Mischa

Letter 3: Dated November 17th, 2008

Mother, 

I have a new hobby. I think you’d be proud—I am learning to sing. Not opera, or the god-awful jazz that poet boy listens to during study hall, no, this is the good stuff. Real, bonerfied rap music. (note: I know it’s supposed to say bonified, but Mischa would think boner-fied is hilarious, may he rest in peace —Ezra)

I even created a channel on this thing called the YouTube—it is called “Bad Egg” because it is an egg, that is bad. Bad is a good thing, it means cool, or that is what the football boys think. Maybe this new thing will turn out well. I am raging, mother, for you and for Ukraine. And when I rage, I rap about money in autotune. 

I will inspire the world. My life will have meaning once again. 

Love, Mischa

Letter 4: Dated December 30th, 2008

Mom! 

I have got the biggest, greatest news. I have found LOVE! Me, your silly boy, your little child that you raised all by yourself, is engaged!

Ever since my YouTube channel was born, a certain beautiful woman has been leaving kind comments on my YouTube comments wall. Her name is Natalia, and last night she had the courage to message me. She announced her love for me over the internet, and it is a truly beautiful thing. She even sent me picures, and she is the most gorgeous woman I have ever met. 

I wish that you could have lived long enough to meet my perfect Talia, for when I look into her almond eyes, I do not see the boy I am, but the man I must become to possess her. I am growing up, mama, but I promise I will always be here, and that you will always be in my heart.

Love, Mischa

Letter 5: Dated January 31st, 2009

Dear mom, 

I want to tell you about choir. 

Most of the school is scared of me, they think I am some bad boy who lives in the woods. But the choir seems to just have it out for me. Annoying ginger is the leader: she is stuck-up, and a real pain in my you know what. Her real name is Ocean, which I suppose fits, because she is salty and rough and probably drowns people. Poet boy is there too, his name is Noel, and he is the least insufferable of the group. He is gay, which is fine, but funny because if he were a girl, he would so be my type. He is nice, but odd. Then there is a boy named Ricky. This month, Ocean decided she needed to prove that choir was accessable for all, so she got boy who cannot speak to join. I never know what he is thinking. He is scary. Last, there is Constance. Sometimes she cries in the corner when she thinks the others do not see. I see. I wonder if she is okay. I hope she knows I am not okay. I hope she knows she is not lonely. 

I thought choir was going to be the bane of my existance. But…I think it has grown on me. 

I miss you. I love you. 

Love, Mischa

Letter 6: Dated March 6th, 2009

Hello mom, 

Yesterday was Noel’s birthday, so Constance brought in cupcakes for everyone. They were red velvet, and very tasty, much better than Carly’s cooking. Carly is no replacement mother, and her basement has cockroaches. I sleep with the roaches. Perhaps I will name them.

I continue to make videos, and to make love with Talia when I can. I hope I get to meet her some day. In fact, I know I will. Mom, I want to come back to Ukraine. I will meet Talia, and we will love each other in person. 

Tomorrow, we are singing at a local soccer game. We are singing some song that Father Markus wrote for us. I do not want to be on stage. I guess I will have to get comfortable with it. 

It‘s getting late, almost time to meet Talia. I love you mom.

Your son, Mischa.

Letter 7: Dated May 15th, 2009

Mom, I have a dilemma. 

Please, tell me you wouldn’t be upset if I told you that I think maybe I like boys?

Last night, Ocean hosted a choir get-together at her place. It was small and cramped. She and Constance ended up sharing the sofa, Ricky took the armchair, leaving myself and Noel on a blow-up air mattresss. I tried so, so hard to give him space, but I’m not a small guy, and somehow we ended up nestled together under the blankets, somehow I ended up lost in his eyes and staring at his lips-

It felt like betrayal. Like if Talia knew, she would have my head. She wants me to be loyal.

But how can I be loyal when Noel watches me with those stupid baby cow eyes? How can I stay at her side when Noel is right there?

It’s so confusing, mom.

-Mischa

Letter 8: Dated June 19th, 2009

School is finally out, mom. I spend every day scrambling for ways to make a quick buck so I can buy cheap vodka. It’s a bad habit, but hard to kick. I wish I could kick it, I do…

But instead, I beat a kid for a 20 dollar bill from his enemy, sold the foster folks’ antique china, and now am in even more heat with them. They cry at my presence and shoo me away like fly.

I do not mind. At least I do not have to go to school and see Noel and his stupid sparkly eyes and his stupid beautiful face. I will spend this summer with Talia, like I’m supposed to.

Letter 9: Dated August 18th, 2009

It is my birthday. I woke up to a box of cupcakes sitting on the floor above the basement stairs. Carly says they were left for me by the Blackwoods. I opened the box, and they were chocolate with vanilla icing, but found strawberry jam in the center when I bit in, a pleasant surprise. There was also a note. It said “happy birthday Mischa! Love Constance, Ricky, Ocean and Noel”

I smiled when I saw it. I hated being in the choir, but it might just be one of the better parts of my life now.

I am 18 now, and that means I can do lots of things. Hopefully one of those is coming back to Ukraine. I miss home, I miss home, I miss home.

I do want to see Talia, but part of me wants to bring Noel home with me. You’d love him, mama.

Your son (now an adult), 

Mischa

Letter 10: Dated September 14th, 2009

Mom, 

This letter will not be too long, because I am singing with the choir at the Fall Fair this afternoon. It is 6:00 am and I am scrawling some quick words across this paper. Tonight I will tell Noel how I feel. I will tell him I love him and that I have eyes for him. I will tell him soon.

Tomorrow, I will write again and tell you how it goes. 

I can’t wait to have him in my arms, mom.

Your son, 

Mischa

[dragoninahumancostume]

"I feel rage and when I feel rage I rap about money with autotune" mood

[atty-goldstein]

Linda, before Queen B: And when I rage, I rap about money in autotune

[shittyrpmusing]

RIDE THE CYCLONE - SENTENCE STARTERS (PART 2)

Mentions of NSFW and dark topics. Change as needed!

“That... Was... DOPE, YO!”

“Well, I liked the part where the two boys kissed!”

“There is a difference between affection and smut.”

“Little orphan a-hole.”

“Not every story has a lesson.”

“Stay in school, don’t smoke!”

“Teen sex kills!”

“I’M ON A ROLL, HIT ME!”

“I think it’s messed up we live in a world that celebrates violence and demonizes the very act of love.”

“Porno is magical!”

“I’m never mad at you! I’m just frequently disappointed.”

“Just ‘cause I’m all gangster don’t automatically make me homophobe!”

“It’s not cool to be homophobe in rap game no more ever since Macklemore dropped ‘Same Love’.”

“That shit was emotionally devastating, yo.”

“So thanks for killing my mother and indirectly killing me!”

“When I feel the rage, I rap about money in autotune.”

“Autotune will never die!”

“Would you like to know the future that could have been?”

“Love does conquer all!”

“Look at me, I am physically weeping!”

“And that is why not everyone should have library card!”

“You have no redeemable qualities- even your best friend completely hates you!”

“There are no accidents.”

“Since we’re all sharing, I would like to talk about my religion.”

“I’m a lover, not a fighter!”

“To hold you close, that’s enough for me.”

“Life is hard enough without making up reasons to be dicks to each other.”

“Love is the closest you can be to another person, because it’s the closest you can come to being another person.”

“I’m the same person I always was.”

“We’ll listen to you now, Space Jesus.”

“I’m so happy right now, I can never come down!”

“Cruel existence was only a sham.”

“Won’t tell me at last who I am?”

“Time eats all his children in the end.”

“When silence falls, does no one care?”

“Does anyone care?”

“I’ve never been drunk before. Or kissed a man, so... Thanks.”

“You are tragic. You make me weep just looking at you!”

“It’s a fire sale in my brain and everything must go!”

“Just learn to take a compliment!”

“I thought my life had meaning. Turns out, it didn’t! Oh well! Jokes on me!”

“Can’t you just listen for once without making it all about yourself?!”

“OUCH! You just punched me in the frickin’ boob!”

“I lost my virginity to a carnie in a porta-potty.”

“My parents were good people, and all I could do was think horrible things about them.”

“There’s no shame in loving my small town.”

“It took a horrible accident for me to realize how goddamn wonderful everything is.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being the nicest girl in town.”

“In five minutes, all bets are off.”

“You knew all along I could never do it.”

“To say that if one dies young, they die needlessly? That is to discount the years we had.”

“No one will win here, and no one can lose.”

“The world will keep on spinning with no ending or beginning.” 

[moonmoonthecrabking]

I have no respect for this country! Fact: do you know what Canada is leading supplier of to the whole world?

Two things:

1.Mustard seeds

2. uranium

which is good for hot dogs, yes, but not so good for Ukraine 🇺🇦

so thank you for killing my mother and for indirectly killing me

ohhhhhhhh i feel the rage and when i rage i rap about money in autotune

(laughter from audience)

autotune will never die. hit the beat.

YOOO THIS IS A SONG TO TELL YOU THAT WHAT YOU IS IS WHAT YOU GOT AND I AM HERE TO SAY THAT I. AM. THE MONEY.

[granma-sweetie]

"i feel rage and when i rage i rap about money and autotune" sobbnig

i love him.

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

AND WHEN I RAGE I RAP ABOUT MONEY IN AUTOTUNE!!!

[nervousbreadpuppy]

the funniest ride the cyclone quotes in my opinion

"when noel was young, his parents realized two things *noel does a gay little pose* the second-'"

"we all died virgins!" "...constance?"

"FORNICATION UNDER CONSENT OF THE KING"

"she gave me... mostly positive feedback on my youtube channel woAH"

"catchphrase: being the only gay guy in a small rural town is like having a laptop in the stone age. sure you can have it, but theres nowhere to plug it in"

"catchphrase: my gangster persona is just armor to conceal that i am a naked child wandering through the wilderness, holding in my hands my wounded, fragile heart... yo dude that was wack"

"i feel like i can never be brought down!" "my turn" "DANG IT"

"*after singing about procreating with space cat people* okay this parts going to get a little weird"

"*extremely sped up talking* AND THAT IS WHY NOT EVERYONE SHOULD OWN A LIBRARY CARD"

"no one listened to me before" "we're listening to you now space jesus"

"they played beautiful by christina Aguilera at your funeral" "i only said i liked that song one time! ironically!" "on the bagpipes"

"i feel the rage and when i rage i rap about money in autotune"

"in my country it's tradition to take drink on birthday" "your cousin was four, he had to get his stomach pumped"

"Noel! I love you! You challenged my preconceived notion that all gay dudes are fun to be around"!

"you just punched me. in the BOOB"

"if its yellow, let it mellow. if its brown, scoop it out with your hands and put it in the compost bin"

[itsgrapes-exe]

this is hard idk any quotes

when your famous the woild is YER ERSTER - racetrack

when i rage i rap about money in autotune- mischa

let me face the music it’s a song that ive been waiting to hear for so long - whizzer

i learned that at the anti bullying assembly last month FUCKNUGGET - max

and finally

i was good, i was really good - neil

toff starts a tag game

reblog with a quote from your fav character from atleast 5 fandoms that you’re in/used to be in!!

ok mine:

”your fingers might not be so burnt if you cooked with an air fryer!” -frye onaga (splatoon)

“you ever think about runnin in pictures? buy a ticket, they let anyone in!” -albert dasilva (newsies)

“now, what the heck happened around here? oh right- my doing!” -caine (tadc)

“what happened to you that made you hate fun?” -serafine savoy (lackadaisy)

“the romantic tension is so palpable… how can you guys even concentrate??” pavitr prabhakar (atsv)

hey guys 😏 @the-woild-is-y-erster @sluttylittlenewsboy @ftm-megamind @newsiesfixation @itsgrapes-exe @newsiesreference and anyone else that wants to join!!

[sinceileftyoublog]

Lil Uzi Vert Album Review: Eternal Atake/LUV vs. the World 2

(Generation Now/Atlantic)

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Lil Uzi Vert has always been a singles rapper. While tracks like “XO TOUR Llif3″, the Pharrell-assisted “Neon Guts”, and last year’s “Free Uzi” show him at the top of his powers, he’s never been able to sustain the momentum across an entire record. The same goes for the long-awaited Luv Is Rage 2 follow-up Eternal Atake, and especially its bonus album Lil Uzi Vert vs. the World 2. But at least the first comes close, and on both, the highs have never been higher. Sure, Kendrick Lamar covered the personified braggadocio in a more interesting and complex way in “Backseat Freestyle” than Uzi has in his entire catalog, but Lamar’s an unfair comparison. Where Uzi excels unlike any other rapper is in his head, a tornado of emotion and cultural milieu, and how he’s able to skip the page and put it out in the open at the drop of a pin.

Indeed, Uzi’s production style-adaptive rapping is far better than his lyricism. On opener “Baby Pluto” (the introduction to the first third of Eternal Atake, where Uzi inhabits his superego alter ego Baby Pluto), he fills the space between cascading chimes with his forceful, driving bars. On “Lo Mein”, he’s more melodic among washes of spacey production. “POP” is perhaps most impressive, with Uzi rapping off-beat and adlibbing, at one point repeating “Balenci” more times than Jeff Tweedy screams “Nothing” at the end of “Misunderstood”, evoking the mania required to shop for loads of expensive shit more than if he were to narrate his binge. And on “Homecoming”, he goes so hard trying to outdo Bugz Ronin’s interweaving bass beats that he’s hoarse by the end, a visceral display of dominance.

Uzi occasionally shines on the Renji section of Eternal Atake, a character supposed to represent his sweeter side. On “I’m Sorry”, he apologizes to an ex for his behavior, cooing with auto-tune over a playful arpeggio beat. What stands out here, for the most part, is the production: the gentle guitar noodling and gospel vocal samples on “Bigger Than Life” and the soulful R&B-meets-drill of Chief Keef’s “Chrome Heart Tags” are the two best-sounding tracks on the record. Unfortunately, this section is also where the momentum generally stalls. Uzi inhabits the uglier sides of Pluto, previewing the third character, named simply Uzi, who isn’t so different from Pluto. Immaturely lamenting girls for only liking him for his fame on “Bust Me” is forgivable, and so is bragging about watches, bags, money, and guns; they’ve been done before. But claiming he can turn a gay girl straight on “Venetia” is another. It reeks of Tyler, the Creator’s early shock jock personality that he’s now all-but abandoned. (It also ignorantly follows the only feature on the album, the brilliant Syd-assisted pop of “Urgency”, from a gay woman.) On “Futsal Shuffle 2020″, a bonus track, he raps, “I had a cougar with me, so I call that girl Coretta,” either incorrectly thinking that Coretta Scott King was a black panther or being #sorandom. It’s moments like these, whether nonsensical, misinformed, or cliche, that you wished he had used a page as an intermediary.

It’s clear that Uzi, if anything, has a great memory, and a limitless supply of images from which to pull, so it’s no surprise his wordplay is most effective when he takes from the obscurities of his childhood or YouTube wormholes, and his life experiences. He’s infectious on “Silly Watch”: “Got a Richard Mille, this is not a silly watch / All this money make me wan’ hit my Diddy Bop.” “You Better Move” is certainly a highlight, centering around a sample of Space Cadet Pinball, Uzi hurling insults based off technology few remember. (“I’m an iPod, man, you more like a Zune.”) “That Way”, the other bonus track, interpolates one of the Backstreet Boys’ biggest hits. And “P2″ is a worthy successor to “XO TOUR Llif3″; replicating the flow of the song and even sampling it, Uzi waxes about his substance abuse issues and issues with his ex, a rare moment of clarity at the end of a somewhat exhausting record.

As for Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World 2? You could say that best thing about it is that it doesn’t fall under the “victory lap” or “fun but didn’t really need to exist” category. It certainly has more to offer than that, though it’s not as ambitious as Eternal Atake. Instead, it’s an entirely collaborative record, the polar opposite of Eternal Atake, and Uzi mostly steps out of the way, for better and for worse depending on who he’s collaborating with. The production, often by Oogie Mane and Pi’erre Bourne, takes a lead, on tracks like the orchestral “I Can Show You”, off-kilter, swaying “Moon Relate”, crisscrossing arpeggios of “Money Spread”, tropical electric ricochet of the melodic “Got the Guap”, the fried “Strawberry Peels”, the melancholy “Trap This Way (This Way)”, and spacey, Future-featuring “Wassup”, Uzi’s voice harmonizing with the beat. These make Lil Uzi Vert vs. the World 2 worth it. 

It’s clear, though, that Uzi’s run out of things to talk about. “Lotus” is a drug and wealth anthem. “Myron” is a brag track, Uzi reminding us that he’s different. Consecutive tracks have Shaquille O’Neal references. “No Auto” features conscious self-comparisons to Lil Wayne and a confounding anti-autotune declaration. The laziness with which Uzi raps, “Whip it up like Benihana” on “Come This Way” makes you question whether he’s even trying. So does “Bean (Kobe)”, a turn-up banger that’s not bad, but something that he, Keef, and Bourne could do in their sleep. And closer “Leaders” features NAV, one of the worst rappers alive, declaring, among other things, that he doesn’t care about politics and would perform at the Super Bowl for the money. If you’ve run out of things to talk about, and you’re gonna let someone else do the talking, at least make it someone like 21 Savage--which, to his credit, Uzi does on “Yessirskiii”.

Taken together, Eternal Atake and Lil Uzi Vert vs. the World 2 are like The Weeknd’s Trilogy. Overwhelming as a whole, great in small doses, and fascinating--depending on your mood and level of patience.