#“we're out of combat now”
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Constance may be my favorite character.
30 seconds later
Wait, maybe it's Lady Bristlebrush.
#dimension 20#d20#mice & murder#constance brockhollow#lady bristlebrush#“there's been a murder”#I literally just want to watch them kill people for an hour#“we're out of combat now”#and then THAT#why are our PCs the main suspects#when clearly they're not even close to the most dangerous people here?
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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There is a very exquisite agony in playing a game you love so so so so so much, and realizing that one of the other players is trying to play a totally different game than you.
#hush frenchy#we went to the coffin shop today in vallaki#and our rogue triggered combat SIMPLY because he didn't want to leave the house without looting every single room#to clarify: WE HAD ACHIEVED OUR OBJECTIVE#we literally just needed to get out#but the rogue's player was like cmoooon its no fun to leave without looting everything we can get our hands on#now everything we're doing has gone to absolute shit#and to clarify: its going to be very interesting!!#and I feel like I would've been just fine with the result#IF it had been for any other reason besides that this one player seems to think that we're in a video game#like if there had been some kind of character motivation? or genuine concern that we were missing a piece of something we were looking for?#totally fine!! love that in fact!!#but just stealing shit because 'you're the rogue' feels... idk.#it just feels like it's a totally different game than the rest of us are playing#and now we ALL have to deal with the consequences#i just. urgh. i do not know what to do#i am gonna talk to the dm and see if she noticed the same thing as me#and try to brainstorm we the players can do to impart a sense of balance for people with different play styles#but i just feel like despite repeated efforts by the dm to be like hey this is a game for exploration and character engagement#the player is just ignoring that and doing Whatever He Feels Like#ANYWAY SORRY RANT OVER#I'm just really in love with this game and having one really thorny part is just HNG#positive note: the wizard whipped out alter self and thought he was the coolest guy in the whole world#despite repeatedly missing in combat#it was very cute and i wish Wyn wasn't absolutely certain that she was about to die#because she would absolutely stroke his ego about it simply to see him preen#the fighter was also very sweet and keeps working so hard to protect wyn#and since I'm a fighter in my other game i know where to put myself to make it easier for him so there's a lot of synergy#IT'S JUST VERY CUTE AND NICE AND GOOD. I LOVE THEM BOTH A LOT
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currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad
#project moon#wonderlab#seriously wonderlab was so fucking good that like#the entire time pre-limbus release every time we got news i would get so excited for a potential followup on wonderlab's ending#and the idea of seeing characters like taii#with amazing designs from a comic that already had some absolutely stunning imagery#drawn in a style like the absolutely fucking beautiful painterly style of ruina's character art and cgs#getting to see more of taii and the other survivors of the branch and seeing where their lives would go after that ending#seeing how the loss of so many important people would affect them and how they'd struggle in the aftermath of l corp's collapse#we already had ONE distortion in the ending of wonderlab with catt and that happened BASICALLY MOMENTS AFTER LOBCORP'S ENDING#can you IMAGINE how cool it'd be to see all of these characters#who already have experience with combat and ego and weird anomalous monsters via their work in the branch#react to and potentially figure out and adapt to the distortion phenomenon?#LITERALLY THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF LIMBUS IS GOING INTO FORMER L CORP BRANCHES#THAT'S THE SELLING POINT OF THE GAME! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE! OF COURSE I WOULD GET EXCITED ABOUT MORE WONDERLAB STUFF!#BUT NOW WE'LL NEVER GET THAT#WE'LL NEVER SEE TAII AGAIN IN OFFICIAL MEDIA#WE'RE JUST LEFT WITH THE MEMORY OF THAT FINAL PANEL AND TAII GAZING OVER THIS STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL SURREAL LANDSCAPE#WITH PROMISES OF A JOURNEY WE'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE#FUCK I MISS WONDERLAB#wonderlab was so fucking good that it accidentally became the cornerstone of my entire perspective on project moon's works as a whole#and now that it's gone i can't go back to lobcorp or ruina without feeling its absence like a gaping void in my chest#the only thing left in its place being the knowledge of the shitshow that was the drama surrounding project moon for a while#and the thought that maybe in a different world we would've gotten to see more#FUCK man#no joke i literally made myself cry typing this whole rant out#suddenly learning that wonderlab had been taken down was a fucking wound i have never recovered from#and i've never been able to look at ruina or limbus with the same sense of awe and wonder and curiosity ever since#just the bitter knowledge that yet another formerly beloved story and world has fallen into corporate nightmares and gacha cash grabs#i haven't been able to keep up with project moon much at all since. i don't know if anything else has happened.
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Do you think she'll like me If I dress like a dead girl?
New ish dress, with an old skirt, that I'm excited about.
#sorry i'm not particularly pretty or anything but I felt really good in this outfit and all I could think about was Kate#Am I pretty enough for her#I don't think so but we're doing our best to combat mental illness even if that means doing things that scare the hell out of us#I harbor this deep fear someone will look at me and think i'm crazy for selfshipping with Kate#because I'm delusional to think someone lik her would think I'm pretty#which is ridiculous#anyways sorry for rambling hopefully i've proven myself and im not being vain or annoying-#I will scurry away now like the frightened cat I am#I would include Vi in this discussion as well though Kate is more important
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Picking up bg3 again
#Sel talks#A bit#Trying to have a healthier relationship w it this time#Not coming home and playing for hours; losing sleep; all week#I picking it up once or twice a week#Trying to let myself make small progresses#I find the combat tedious at times though#Hate getting through most of a battle and getting defeated and having to restart u_u#Had this one that I spent 3 tries on last weekend and failed all 3#Picked it up again today and got it first try#Which was v surprising#Really wanting to get back to the social aspects though#Looking forward to getting to baulder's gate#Finishing up the under dark stuff#Hopefully got the last bit of the boss coming up!#Idk how we're getting to bg from here; but I'm looking forward to it!#I found the thing for the jarred brains and now I'm wondering if I've missed any? I think I sold a bunch to a merchant...#I wonder if I can find em again#Also looking forward to finding some armor for my tav(?) that's not a robe#Trying to find things for my female bodied drow to look masc in#And the robe I currently have is not flattering :(#Having darker dyes help; but still not ideal#I should share some pics of my tav sometime#My baby talfrin <3#I was so mad when isat came out and the protag was named siffrin#Kept getting these frin names mixed up :(
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[gritting my teeth clenching my fists] it's SO FRUSTRATING because felix was lowkey designed to end up in Situations and be trembling and covered in blood all the time but I don't even get to enjoy 'heehoo my little guy's in dire straights in this fight oh noooo' because the stupid encounters are so wildly badly balanced that everyone is dying very fast and I'm too busy stressing out in real life as a player that we're about to get completely pointlessly TPK'd in session three
#we are two for two in combats in this campaign being unfun-stressful more than we can handle and just BARELY scraping through#and both times the DM being like 😰😰😰 once we started dying immediately like. YEAH MAN. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT#it's almost worse that he's not doing it on purpose#dude we're level THREE we don't have RESOURCES or HIT POINTS#I LIKE combat in dnd! I even like hard combat or stressful combat (albeit not all the time; sometimes it's fun to kick ass what a concept)#I do not like that I already feel like I'd better not get invested in this campaign#because I feel like the DM is going to 'uh oh! whoopsie doodle!' us right out of actually getting to play it#[strained grin gritted teeth] this dm has talked about wanting to start a new campaign after elyss's campaign#and I have always. secretly. privately. thought 'oh buddy I am not going to be in your next one. absolutely not. never again'#and then what happened was a bunch of us all said 'we should play dnd!! but who will dm?' and he was like :)#snuck in the back and now here we are. and the worst thing about THAT is that I didn't even expect COMBAT BALANCE to be the big problem#whatever! whatever! whatever!!
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Ok so I need to rework my Wendy skilltree concept because klei heard ppl complain abt the combat and went alright then time to completely rework combat but very slowly one update at a time so no one realizes until we straight up give Willow spells
#rat rambles#starve posting#this is abt the new dst beta btw willow and wigfrid are getting skill trees#now I have complicated feelings on parts of their skill trees but this is a beta so Im fully expected attempted improvements at least#<- this is mostly abt the beefalo stuff on wigfrid's since it just feels. so out of place with the rest of her skill tree#but burnie desperately needs better buffs especially since youre required to take a lot of them for the lunar and shadow branches#I also have some complicated feelings on the direction theyre taking the comabt but at the same time it is a necessary change#but at the same time one thats only necessary because of them deciding to take a more boss heavy approach to game progression#basically this is their attemtp to get out of a whole they dug themsleves in#which means that as time goes on dst is becoming less and less of a survival game#which some ppl might like but its still a bit disappointing for a game that caught my interest because of the survival elements#its not terrible tho it just means that the devs have decided upon a new direction for their game to give it more heavy story elements#most of my main issues have come from how clumsy the change has been and how it very much means we're losing the original feel of the game#but original don't starve still exists so its not like I think its the end of the world that theyre differenciating the two more#anyways since the devs are clearly trying to make actual combat classes a thing within dst I think this completely recontextualises things#as in I have to throw all of my past predictions and expectations out the window and look over everyone again taking thin into account#since now theyve shown that theyre fully willing to make completely new mechanics for these skill trees including straight up magic#which reminds me god I hope they dont give wendy spells or some shit#I really really REALLY want wendy's skilltree to mostly focus on abby buffs and sisturn buffs#because if they dont thatll just completely fuck over wendy's whole playstyle and I desperately dont want abby to become obsolete#I also need them to give the sisturn actually good buffs like for the love of god pls its only worth anything in super early game#at Least make the boosted abby regen a worldwide buff it wouldn't even be worth using most the time still but itd be Something#also god Im so scared for walter skill tree. please have it not fall into the same trap as his base kit of being too all over the place#the wigfrid beefalo branch is what makes me worried since thats a very concept over function thing already#same with like. most of wormwoods skill trees#tbf they fixed at lot of the weird wormwood stuff and hopefully they'll fix the weird wigfrid stuff too#most of willow's problems just come from the bernie skills being too weak which is especially funny cause previously burnie was the only#notable stength willow has pre tree#I mean tbf burnie has always been the weaker support between him and abby (imo) so its not like hes been like amazing anyways#but willow is just such a nothing character that burnie is basically why you use her
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no but fr please understand what a pain in the dick joss is to actually play through in-game because post-nipton literally every major faction is sending fucking assassins after her so she LITERALLY can’t go anywhere without a shoot-out. she is just trying to walk to the freeside gates do you mind.
#anyway really want to start another pt now.#this is not even counting the shoot-outs in the casinos of every new vegas family but the chairmen.#can't have shit in this town (a break from combat)#upside is she always has her levels completely maxed before we're even thinking about the dam battle lmao
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leave my wrestleman husband alone before i unleash my shadow demon wolf form on all of you..... *GROWLGS*
#i dont want this to turn out like the time i selfshipped with deimos from madness combat#and there was so much fuckin ship art of him with sanford and pinterest kept showing me it#like BRO. DUDE. MY MAN. i dont wanna see art of my (now ex) boyfriend making out with his bro#whatta fuck!!!!!#anyways i think thats why i lost interest in madness combat. and eventually him. kinda sad when i think about it#tldr: cybad > strongstar and you all fuckin know it. yes i made us a ship name thats how you know we're a thing
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ADHD is so weird. I used to use this question to answer the Urgh Wrong feeling I get and find a solution to executive dysfunction when other tips weren't working or relevant (like uhhh breaking task down smaller/ do I have the energy for this today or am I tired?/ if it's a chore then plan a reward for after). I stopped using this question thing - just lost the habit of it is all.
But basically context wise, I would notice I was paralysed by executive dysfunction and could do Nothing and was irritated and even fun plans i WANTED to do were now inconceivable e.g. today I planned on going on a walk and need to shower first.
So I would ask myself "do I need to do something physical or something for my brain?"
And I did it today and answered "Oh! I need to do something mental right now to get the Brain Energy level up so I can do the physical task of shower and walking." And went through a brainstorm in my head of Brain tasks and settled on reading my book Braiding Sweetgrass for a few minutes, telling myself only a page or two so it didn't feel "too complicated and long"
Ended up reading 4 pages, and now i feel calm and not agitated like before. Asked myself how my Brain Energy Level feels now and i feel like i can go have a shower now!!! So I'm gonna get up and maybe repeat the Question process later if I have any more stumbling blocks getting ready for my walk
It's basically just weird ADHD involves so many things and tricks and tips.
And usually they're not self-evident, and i completely forgot I used to do this and had to work it out all over again
#adhd#It's weird just how executive dysfunction can be because of so many things and i use so many tools to combat it now#and some are tips from adhd resources or very often from other people sharing stuff on here or this one i just figured it out on my own#based on the idea with adhd we're operating on a lower base energy level than non ADHD people#i read it somewhere#anyway I'm ready to SHOWER well done me! I'm proud of myself!
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Home isn't really a place at all... it's more like the people I wanna be with.
#thea plays hfw#hfwedits#just a quick screencap dump now that i've finished the dlc#loved it so much#i wish they'd fixed the audio issues#and combat is still a bit clunky sometimes#but it's still probably my second favourite game series out there#the atmosphere is just so wondeful#the attention to detail is stunning#and the writing and acting is top notch every time#i'm also so so so pleased we got to fight a horus! finally!#i wanted to do that since I think the second hour of the first game when you unlock the map and the#big thing is just sitting there at the top of the mountain#it was awesome seeing it in action finally#and i guess we're going to canada in the next game? elk machines!#maybe we can even walk/fly over to asia? would be so neat (even though I would love to see Europe but alas)
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...
#you set up something to bring joy to others (and yourself tbh)#and one person has to kick up a stink to the point where you dread going#im still not over wednesday night ugh#“i've invested now!!”#girlybop i am the one who spent money on this from the start#im the one who bought allll your little resources you can't live without#im the one who paid for a web presence#im the one suggested our venue based on familiarity#you hen#you show up late every single week#interrupt the gm to go make a coffee when you decide his storytelling is boring then get confused about whats going on#you still dont know the difference between a d8 d10 and d20 after ten months#you dont know how to read your character sheet#you get other players to do combat and make decisions for you#you then insult the gm when we say we're moving venue#saying the new venue is a risk (???? hardly lmfao) and the streets around there are just as bad for crime and theft (delusional)#then you attempt to lie by omission but get caught out by one of our other players who basically works in our current venue#caught out by that you then try to say “well i cant do wednesdays anyway” and attempt to railroad us into a monday#but “what we'll do is start at 5.30/6pm and ill join for 30 mins then you can continue til 8.30”#and when you're told “no a whole bunch of us leave work at 6pm” you just dig your heels and repeat yourself#there's more but im just dreading wednesday atp#im so sorry for ranting and i will delete this but im just getting more annoyed as time goes on somehow#ugh#she rants!#tbd#the whole town is middle class like#the only crime here is spraypaint vandalism#thats it#oh and wheelie bin theft. other than that..? nothing honestly
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i wish re4 wasn't so stressful. i'd have beaten it 10 times by now if my sessions playing that game weren't a half an hour at a time screaming and missing so many shots even with aim assist on
#turns out that leon gets frustrated if you miss enough shots in a row. i'm sorry my dude#i just really suck at shooters. which is unfortunate in this specific case#i do genuinely have fun it's just also i'm too busy memeing to deal with the stress of playing this game aksjdkdjfj#the combat is really neat. like it's a good system#i just am really bad at. most of it#fortunately there are some genuinely lighthearted moments in the game and some really funny dialogue#its a lot of fun playing as a guy who just does not give a fuck#(he gives many fucks actually he just pretends to not care at all)#the further i go without dying though the more nervous i get#i havent even made it into a botw run this far with 0 deaths#AND I THINK IM REALLY GOOD AT BOTW#i died like 10 times in eow so far#although i know that. at some point i will not live#or ashley will be taken and then we're all done for#some of my favourite parts are coming up though so it's keeping me going#anyways i'm gonna go play more now because game good even though my pc fucking hates me 👍#'why the remake?' because characterization and backstory is why!!!
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#(ramblings in tags. dont read if u dont wanna see criticism of female character writing in naruto)#(i think im pretty chill but it's still negativity so look away if u dont wanna see this)#my hot take (?) is that the naruto author is 100% a misogynist and that HAS to factor into your analysis of his female characters#im only getting thru the anime in increments bc the way theyre written is so frustrating#and fandom discourse surrounding them isnt great either#(i already know the gist of how it ends bc the ending is infamous for being hated so idc about spoilers)#from what ive seen everyone generally knows the female chars are written terribly and arent respected by the author#but dudebros hate them for gross misogynist reasons#and in contrast fans of those female characters get so defensive that they loop right back around to being misogynist#idk how to explain it but its odd seeing fans say “its empowering actually!” for the female chars to end up in miserable marriages#with less combat involvement than the male chars despite taking up the same profession/training#like yeah in a vaccum these conclusions are fine and completely neutral. but we're not in a vacuum. this was written by a male misogynist#how do i articulate that u can personally like characters w/out pretending misogyny didnt play a role in their development + conclusions#and critiquing the way female characters end up is not misogyny. its basic media analysis#like if i were to apply this to MHA i would say Midnight's death was poor writing in comparison to Nighteye's (narratively similar)#bc it supposedly was supposed to give development to the class. particularly Momo since Momo was the one she was rooting for#however hori did not bother showing more interactions between Midnight and her so it falls flat. her death even happens offscreen#and Momo wasnt there to confront the ppl who murdered her. it was Mina. so Midnight's arc wasnt completed satisfyingly#her death ends up becoming meaningless for Momo's development and purely for shock value so the war has stakes#as opposed to Nighteye and Mirio having a fleshed out relationship/backstory and a proper goodbye#there was a difference in the way the author wrote male mentorships and female ones. critiquing that is fine#now imagine if some Midnight fans went “its misogynist of you to downplay her death. she was noble and heroic and a girlboss”#it misses the point completely bc they interpret writing criticism as shade against her as a person#anyway thats what a lot of female character discourse in naruto feels like#and thats not even mentioning the cesspool of dudebro sexism but i avoid them so i dont see it as much#anyway in conclusion naruto would probably be a great series if the author wasnt a raging misogynist#sorry for the rant#my post
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think i found my favorite area of the dlc. straight up horror zone. it's so quiet and mostly empty it's eerie and amazing. the sheep were making me uneasy.
#one of the scariest things you can do on a combat heavy game is just remove the combat for a bit#it makes me twitchy. my only tool to interact with this world is a sword but there's nothing to kill#i finished it right before getting into vc tonight and my friend was literally just entering it i was so >:3c#it's nice that we're both playing at the same time now#we can tell each other how to reach places without the spotty release week guides too#turns out i was looking for a way down to a place in an entirely wrong area. many such cases
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