#“trusting the algorithm to bring me back for part 2!!” | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tundrainafrica · 3 years ago

Text

Title: Lovebug (8/12)

Summary:

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Notes: Feedback is very much appreciated :D

Levi put a hard deadline for Wednesday

“Wednesday” he said it again because he couldn’t be too certain how he said it the first time. He was conscious if he were too stiff, it might almost seem awkward. If he were too relaxed, maybe the urgency wouldn’t get across.

The challenge was finding the balance and when his team nodded, their faces unchanging, he realized it had been an easy task. They had gone through that same pattern before, especially before a large-scale quality assurance test, a recalibration of the application.

And the one on Monday was much larger, covering not just fifty volunteers, maybe even hundreds. When it was Zeke’s own connections that had managed to get that many volunteers, they couldn’t afford to delay it.

Levi cleared his throat and continued. “All fixes should be completed by Wednesday. All QA and regression tests by Friday,” Levi added. “The large scale QA test will be happening on Monday. No negotiations. No chances of rescheduling. ”

Aside from the number of volunteers, that QA test should not be anything different. Nothing much changed except perhaps the fact that Levi was in a constant state of compartmentalizing. He was working partly with outsourced labor to complete the code and to make sure someone was testing their new application. He was also working with his own team to make sure they were still addressing issues and realising fixes for the love alarm.

He liked the busy-ness, the need to be constantly thinking about work. Sometimes though, there were more distracting prospects that forced their way into his limited brainspace. And for some reason, his brain space was so willing to accommodate it.

More specifically, to accommodate her. Well, he had no choice anyway. After all, it was her application. It was his brain child but by extension, it was her and Zeke’s property.

He was constantly in a state of stress and Hange’s presence only made things more stressful. But somehow, his brain demanded he forced that extra piece of information, that piece of responsibility, that piece of Hange somewhere in his brain.

Just like he couldn’t say no to Zeke and Hange, he couldn’t say no to the manifestations of his own mind.

She never gave him a chance to say no. After all, she liked working in his office. She had made herself at home on the desk next to him and everyday he was reminded of that extra compartment his brain had created just for him.

All he had to do was enter the room and enjoy the view of her hunched over her laptop like she always was.

First thing in the morning, she was there. After meetings and standups with his team, he would go back to his office like always, and she was there.

That time, all test devices were lined on the desk, the whiteboard that only that morning had been covered with scribbles was replaced with something a little more coherent.

“You’re testing?” Levi sat next to her, counting ten devices before deciding it would be a waste of time to count further. He looked back up at her.

Hange nodded. “You updated the build last Friday right?”

“Just some fixes,” Levi said. The fixes came slowly, with more data being added, with the algorithm being tested here and there. It was still far from perfect though. He scanned the whiteboard just to get an inkling of her own progress. “How many pseudo emails do you have?” He could have counted it himself but once again, he gave up after ten.

“Enough to test on this many devices,” Hange said.

He read them out loud, taking note of the checkmarks..

Wingsoffreedom123

Wingsoffreedom213

Wingsoffreedom231

Wingsoffreedom321

Wingsoffreedom312

Wingsoffreedom132

“Creative,” Levi commented.

“Look, I just need a bunch of emails that are easy to remember so might as well stick to the same combination,” Hange said. “ You get it, Humanity’s strongest?”

Levi cringed inwardly. He should really go around changing that name. “Do you actually use those emails?” He asked.

“Sometimes, when applying for free trials, when making more than one account in websites.” Hange said. “I like keeping my own consumption patterns not connected to ‘Hange Zoe,’ if you know what I mean.”

“At least you’re able to make use of those emails for testing.” Levi pulled his chair a little closer to her and looked over her shoulder. “Is it working better?”

“It rings,” Hange said. “The last five times I tested, they said I was happy.” She chose that moment to click ‘activate’ on the next alarm. As expected, it rang again, the words ‘happy” flashed in the middle of the screen with an ugly smiley face in Arial font right under it.

It was a blatantly horrible sign that maybe they had spent a little too much time on the back end. Front end and user interface could be fixed a little later anyway, Levi reminded himself. He brought out his own test device and pressed the activate button.

The word ‘happy’ flashed across the screen. “Looks like they fixed a lot of the kinks,” Levi said.

“Are you happy?” Hange asked.

Those types of questions were the ones that had him a little more self aware. He didn’t answer immediately, instead, he left his natural instincts speak for themselves. A smile threatened to creep up his lips overwhelming the small part of him that wanted to push it down into something more subtle.

“Levi, are you happy?” Hange pressed, a hint of a laugh in her voice.

He was. He couldn't tell exactly why. Overall, it had seemed much easier, to just let the smile climb up his face so he gave it facility, freedom to move.

And soon, he didn’t regret it. Maybe because his own smile had been the reason Hange’s eyes got bigger before her features softened into something comfortable within a few seconds.

Before Levi could appreciate them a little more, her eyes suddenly narrowed, as if studying him. He noted all of it in her expression, the triumph, the victory lap in her expression, and the sneer particularly evident in her eyes.

He didn’t want her to win that little game they had for themselves. So he turned back, allowing time for the smile to fall into something less embarrassing. “Well, if the application says I’m happy, maybe I am.” He stood up again, holding his laptop to his side. “I’m going out for a break.”

***

Summer was ending soon.

And for Levi, the end was usually accompanied by the relief that he wouldn’t have to brave public transportation under the sweltering heat while dealing with an office dress code.

Strangely, he also found himself a little melancholic as he noted that red leaves were starting to sprout more frequently among the branches. He considered it almost an obligation to take a walk twice or thrice a week, especially during those last few weeks.

He would sit on one of the benches by the garden. To save time, he would bring his laptop every single time and he would always allow himself short in-betweens to enjoy his surroundings after long minutes of staring at the screen.

Like always, the trees were above him and the flowers were in front of him. When he looked down, he even enjoyed the grass and the cobblestone lined paths.

“You take the same route every time.”

Levi looked up, an instinctive reaction to that very familiar, almost intimate voice. “You followed me?”

“What if I wanted to take a walk too?” Hange asked.

“You're welcome to take a walk. I’m just gonna do some work here before going back inside,” Levi said. He looked back at the screen in front of him, trying to find something to make progress with as he monitored the workflow tracker.

Nothing much had changed or was expected to change, his own staff was probably on lunch break. He trusted them enough to be certain they would get most of their work done by Wednesday. And consequently, he was left with nothing much else to do but maybe take a lunch break too.

Hange sat right next to him on the bench and Levi pulled away, far enough to put a good few inches between them. “You’re going out more often now,” Hange said.

“I noticed I’ve been spending too much time indoors. I never really got to enjoy summer for what it was. We only get it three months a year.”

Hange gave him a knowing look. “And you only noticed it now? After living in this city your whole life?” She asked. “You’ve lived here your whole life right?”

“Yeah,” Levi said.

Hange shrugged. “You just never struck me as the type to enjoy weather, or nature in general. Back in the golf course, back in the ocean, you didn’t look like you wanted to be there,” she noted.

“Maybe it’s a recent thing,” Levi said. He kept it vague, not wanting to probe any complex topics when he was grappling with more important complex things.

Hange though, was a black hole of knowledge, a bundle overflowing with curiosity. “What makes it pretty? Why do you like taking walks?”

“Do we have to have a reason?”

“Well ever since I started to work closely with you, I started to notice something too,” Hange said. “You seem happier.”

“Maybe because Zeke is always busy.”

Hange snorted. “You really hate him don’t you?” She leaned a little closer. “And aren’t you at all nervous admitting it to me?” An overly playful demeanor accompanied such intimidating words. It was more laughable than terrifying.

Levi shook his head, unfazed. “I trust you wouldn’t tell him.”

“I wouldn’t,” she admitted. “I don’t blame you though.” She only had to give him an almost pitied look for him to read her mind.

He articulated it for her. “I never really recovered from those two all-nighters cramming an application.” That had been more than three months ago but the memory still burned as a faint memory of excruciating exhaustion and an unpleasant caffeine buzz that took weeks to brush off.

“You managed to impress the hospital admin at least. And we got the funds,” Hange said.

Does that make Zeke any more of an insufferable person? He had hoped to ask that with the face he gave Hange then, one eyebrow raised. If it didn’t send the message, he could easily say it out loud. That one pleasantry Zeke afforded him though that day in front of the convenience store echoed in his head. Even just coming up with an insult sent a wave of guilt through him.

A wave of guilt I don’t need to feel. Levi reminded himself, willing to recall the other instances the blond had been abrasive. Zeke was either a master manipulator or misunderstood. He was a billionaire though, so Levi decided to err on the side of ‘manipulator.’

“The funds go to the company, to the outsourcing activities and to server space,” Levi corrected.

“Don’t you have company shares?” Hange asked.

“A stock option,” Levi clarified. “Something I chose not to take. I’d rather get my money as is. I don’t trust myself to grow something of that much value.” He kept his answers vague, since he never did read the contract closely anyway, it was Erwin who went through the benefits with him.

“Well everyone else in the company who runs on stock options seems to trust you. Zeke’s own investment is riding on your own ability to make a good product...” My PhD dreams are riding on your product. Hange didn’t say that last part out loud but Levi heard it loud and clear.

“Well this pseudo love alarm project, it’s still far from perfect.” For emphasis, he opened up the new project entitled ‘emotion alarm project’ on his dashboard and slipped the laptop screen over to Hange. “Thirty percent done. We barely fixed the interface, just getting the required testing and data done is taking up a lot of resources.”

“I know that and I expected it,” Hange said. “You know, a PhD sometimes takes decades to complete and I’m ready to take that much time.”

“I just wanna manage your expectations. Besides, something about the testing still bothers me.”

“What about it?”

“Remember the first night I made the application?” He stifled a wince at the painful memory. “It didn’t ring… until you came in.”

“Maybe it was a bug?” Hange suggested. “It shouldn’t be too much of an issue right? Since you made a lot of improvements after.”

“I did,” Levi said.

“And it never happened again with the later builds.”

“It doesn’t but it works too much like the love alarm. Do you notice, it always rings when we’re nearby?”

“When we’ve already loaded millions worth of data points. When we’ve overseen that much testing with other people. I don’t think you have to think too hard about it. We just keep improving the application right? Same as the love alarm,” Hange explained.

“Maybe I’m just being cynical. It doesn’t work once and I can never trust it again,” Levi muttered as he scrolled through the tasks for the next release for the upteenth time since a while ago.

“I guess that’s what happens when you’re the one who came up with the project. You can never trust your own abilities to develop?"

"Or because I worked on it, at three in the morning, I tested it. I know how many shortcuts I took with it…" Levi trailed off as he started to focus a little more on the numbers, the titles on the task trackers.

"You know they did the research, the testing, if it works for them, if they have a good success rate, then maybe it works for us too? Maybe the app is right, we're happy when we’re next to each other. Sometimes we’re sad when we’re next to each other and sometimes we're angry. If this application is detecting moods like this… similarly to the love alarm, maybe it means we could--- "

"Get along?" Levi finished it for her. There were only so many things that code could mean anyway.

"Get along.... Or to get to know each other more." Hange said, her voice softer than a second ago. The smile took longer to leave her lips.

Hange though had always been good at composing herself but Levi had months to figure out patterns and trends in the way she navigated the more sensitive topics. He couldn't help but notice the heavy tension, even under the light summer breeze.

Those moments happened too often that Levi had prepared an escape route every time. Business talk. And they had a lot to talk about. "Hange, I wanna ask something about the front end," Levi scrolled back up, towards the top of the task trackers. Dealing with front end was a mammoth task, rifed with two many sub tasks but it was definitely one of the last priorities, if it was even a priority. Levi wasn’t the type to particularly mind releasing an application with a white background and an interface that used the very underwhelming Arial font.

But it was Hange and Zeke’s application.

"Ask away," Hange said.

It came easily after that. The ticket on his workflow tracker had an inkling of a script to follow. "What colors would you associate with emotions?" He asked.

"What?" Hange furrowed her brows.

Levi cleared his throat. Nevermind, it wasn't easy to come up with the question without a little more expounding. "Like would you say red is anger? Blue is sadness? Yellow is happiness?"

"Wait? Why?" Hange asked again. Her lips were curled up just a little higher.

"I'm thinking of the front end of the application. What colors do you see for each emotion?"

"Yellow for happiness," Hange answered easily.

"Not orange?" Levi challenged. He had opened up the task and started to take notes.

"Orange is way too angry for me."

"Red seems much angrier," Levi said

"Red is anger definitely but I'm not seeing bright red, I'm seeing something like orange."

Levi opened up a color wheel. " So this red?" Levi asked.

"No, bright reddish orange," Hange corrected. It may have been a coincidence or just a trick of convenience but a red leaf had fallen on her lap at that moment. Hange picked it up, and twirled it and held it in front of Levi like a token.

“So... autumn red?” Levi asked.

Hange dropped the leaf on his lap. “I guess.” She raised her eyebrow. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Was he giving her a strange look? His mind sometimes formed opinions as he spoke and Hange had always been receptive anyway so he verbalized it, just for her. “When I’m angry, I see red,” Levi admitted.

“I haven't felt really angry in a while, so I wouldn’t know,” Hange said. “Maybe it changed.”

“Sadness?” Levi asked.

Hange turned to him questioningly. “Tell me yours first.”

“Grey,” Levi said automatically.

“Blue,” Hange said, as if it were the truest fact in the world.

A fact Levi was compelled to question. “Why blue?”

“Why not blue?”

“Blue doesn’t seem sad….”

“Why not?” Hange pressed.

“It seems…” Levi started, only realizing seconds later, he was unable to come up with the right words.

“Too nice?” Hange suggested.

“It’s a nice color. It makes me feel good just looking at it.” It was a pathetic response. With such a complex thought, to even force out of his mouth, he had to channel his inner child, through the most child-like attempts at articulation.

“Okay, I know it doesn’t feel good to be sad but.. don’t you think sadness is a beautiful feeling?” Hange asked.

“No.” It should have been a natural answer. Somehow, Levi felt like there was something else worth listening to.

Hange saw reason to continue at least. “You wouldn’t be feeling sad, if you never felt happy in the first place, if you’ve never felt desire or love. There are feelings much worse than being sad for sure.”

“Like what?”

“Not feeling at all maybe?” Hange surmised. “So maybe the strongest feelings, whether good or bad, are still nice… maybe something worth indulging.”

And it was turning into a philosophy lesson. How many hours had he wasted listening to Hange prattle on about emotions and concepts of love? They weren’t hours wasted for sure, but they did leave him feeling just a little sad at times. Once again, he went back to business talk. Levi looked back at his workflow tracker. “So ‘blue sad, yellow happy, red angry…”

“Do you really think sadness is grey?” Hange asked.

Levi looked up from his laptop and straight towards Hange. "Look, I don't think much about what color my emotions are…” He trailed off. He could have said more maybe. Speaking while reflecting turned out to be a daunting task at that moment.

Maybe sadness was grey. That had seemed like the most natural conclusion at first. He focused for a little longer on the view in front of him, the view of Hange and behind her the open grounds that made way for blue sky and the blue burned into his eyes, enough to make him feel something in his chest then down to his stomach. Before he knew it, he started to entertain Hange’s own idea.

When Hange looked back at him, the open sky behind her, he felt stinging at the back of his eyes, he let his face fall.

The color overall had been burning at first. The more he stared, the more he noticed its more lasting qualities. It turned out blue wasn’t burning, it was subdued, mild. At the same time, the clear endless shade of blue in the sky behind her did wonders to accentuate her features. Enough of a reminder to leave another twinge in his chest, that time it was slightly painful.

A twinge of sadness. Emotions may be difficult to comprehend but whatever clarity that washed over him then had been enough of a motivator to speak up. “I think you’re right, sadness is blue,” he said. A beautiful blue.

He found himself searching for the prettiest shades on the color wheel, looking back up at the sky, then to the yellow streaks from the sun that hit the pavement. He then turned his head towards the garden where red roses grew. From a distance, from above, they were supposed to form a heart.

“Yeah, red and yellow too. Red hurts, it’s glaring, Sometimes yellow is too bright but all together, they make the garden beautiful. Like this courtyard,” Hange said. She stretched her legs out onto the stony path just in front of the bench and shifted her weight to the palms of her hands.

“Yeah, it is.” Levi nodded.

“It’s colorful,” Hange said. “Bright reds, bright greens, bright blues, bright yellows. They’ll all only be here together until the end of summer.” She wrapped her arms around herself, a wistful smile on her face.

“You like summer?” Levi asked. “It’s fucking hot.”

“I like summer and spring. What can I say? I like seasons with a lot more variety of color,” she answered. “ I always get a little sad when summer ends. Surprisingly though, I’m sadder than usual about this summer ending.”

“Why?”

Hange shrugged. “I can’t even explain it for myself. It’s ridiculous that I’m this sad about summer ending. I usually get like this when I’m out of the city but I haven’t even been out in the countryside in a while but somehow, I’m already imaging the larger, wider landscapes up north. I’m imagining how quickly the trees go bald… Green then red then blue. And how quickly skies turn from blue to just a constant gray and when the lakes just freeze over, turning from blue to a more of black… It’s sad to imagine.”

“I can imagine it,” Levi said. He didn’t leave the city often since there wasn’t much spare funds to work with. He was capable of empathizing though, after all the twinge of sadness remained and it had been surprisingly easy to channel it elsewhere.

“There are places up north that have the most beautiful springs and summers but when the leaves change… everything dies much more quickly.” Hange lowered her head.

“Maybe one day, I’ll check it out,” Levi said. He found himself picturing the logistics of a trip already. Having never used his leaves, having built up disposable income through a lack of drive to even form a life outside work, he realized he did have leeway to indulge just a bit. Somehow, Hange’s own thoughts were enough to inspire.

“You haven’t been up north?” Hange gaped.

“I didn’t have much money growing up and there’s no reason to.”

“I should take you up north. You know, the gardens up there, the rolling hillsides. They remind me of Pemberley,” Hange said.

“Pemberley?”

“Pemberley! Mister Darcy’s estate.”

Levi groaned inward. That book again.

“Elizabeth visited towards the end of the book and there are a bunch of old houses around there and when I would walk on the fields, I like to pretend I’m in the book.”

“Relive your rags to riches fantasy?” Levi asked bitterly.

Hange pouted. “It’s not just that. Besides, I wasn’t poor, you know. My parents managed to pay tuition to a good college with no debt.”

Not as rich as Zeke definitely. The banter might just get out of control so Levi went with a conservative digression. “Maybe I’ll go there one weekend, up north before summer really ends.”

“Maybe, I’ll take you there myself,” She said, an excited grin on her face. “Maybe after this weekend or next year if we’re too late. I told Zeke about how I was feeling lately, so for my birthday, he promised he’ll take me up north so we’re going this weekend.”

Levi choked. “Wait, birthday? When’s your birthday?” It turned out to be a burning question, a small fact Levi felt obligated to know. So the answer couldn’t have come any slower.

When Hange opened her mouth ready to speak, the universe decided for them that it definitely could come a little later. His phone rang, breaking that brief silence, prolonging the painful anticipation.

Petra Ral. For some reason, he expected the worst when any of his subordinates called. He answered the phone. “Petra, is everything okay?”

“Sorry about calling. I tried texting you but you weren’t replying.” Petra went straight to the point soon after that. “Some of the members of the other project offered to help out with testing. Do we have enough phones?”

They did have enough test devices, the pile on Hange’s desk was enough proof of that. “Yes we do,” Levi said. They were all in his office. He turned to Hange questioningly. It was her blank face that reminded him, they’d have to look through the phones themselves to see what devices they could wipe.

“I’ll meet you by the office,” Levi said. “Hange and I are going back now.”

He hung up the phone and turned to Hange. “Petra is gonna borrow some of the test devices. You’re okay with that?”

“Sure, I’ll help you wipe them,” Hange said. “Are we going back now?” She seemed hesitant, a closer look and Levi could see a hint of disappointment.

He closed his laptop. “We have to get back to work right?”

“You never even stopped working,” Hange accused.

“I stopped long enough to listen to you ramble on about that damned book and your nice vacations.”

Hange walked on, seeming deep in thought. “Hey Levi… What do you think of Petra?” It was an abrupt digression.

“What about Petra?”

“Have you ever considered dating her?”

Levi stifled a choke, letting it out as a peaceful clearing of the throat. “Why are you asking that?”

Hange shrugged, as she walked ahead. . “Nothing, she seems like a nice person and she seems to like you… Besides, she rings your alarm.” She looked back at him, a playful grin on her face.

Levi sighed. That wasn’t a question he would have liked to broach.

“Well?” Hange pressed.

But maybe he could give some vague answer in exchange for some information. “I’ll tell you. If you tell me something."

"Tell you what?"

"What are your plans for your birthday?”

***

Levi was tricked, treated, bamboozled. Hange had a way with words, a way of just pushing the right buttons. It could have been that or it could have been a series of convenient circumstances and conversation topics that had Levi there, at the front of the mall after work with Petra right next to him.

On the bright side, he had Hange’s birthdate, her plans for that Friday all the way until the weekend. That was enough to satisfy his own curiosity. Over time though he realized, that was all it did.

Was it worth it?

Back when he and Hange had been discussing it, it seemed like a good exchange, she satisfied his curiosity, he satisfied hers. Hange had given her due information. In exchange, she received information on Petra, the long QAs, her alarm ringing, the amount of effort Petra put into her job and just the occasional present that made their way to his desk.

While Hange’s own information went so far as to give the name of the restaurant, the time and the route of their roadtrip, Levi’s own information evolved into something else. Before he even knew it, Hange had created a new agenda of her own.

Your love alarm would ring with Petra right?

It did. Of course, in front of the mall, surrounded by other people wasn’t the best place to test it. There was no reason to either. Ever since Petra joined them more than a year back, the love alarm had always rang and Petra had enough professionalism, enough of a handle on her own feelings to mark it as ‘accurate.’

Admirable? Definitely. Date worthy? Did he ever consider dating her long enough to deem her date worthy? ‘Maybe not’ to both questions.

Have you ever considered dating Petra? Hange brought up that question during their conversation and Levi felt almost guilty for the straight up ‘no,’ and the shallow ‘she’s too young for my taste’ reason.

She could have been too young. Still, Hange seemed more like a counselor for that exchange and she made some good points.

Assuming the love alarm didn’t have a bug, and the reading was accurate… Hange first set her premise.

The premise could have been accurate. No, it definitely was. Petra’s own approach towards him only served to extinguish any doubts.

Levi and Petra settled for an early dinner at some restaurant towards the end of the mall. Not for the food, nor for the pricing but for the convenience of being able to sit down after the twenty minute walk and a long day up on their feet back in the office.

And Petra had been excited to sit down in front of him. She rushed ahead and slipped into the booth, even before Levi had slipped himself into the small gap between table and chair. He allowed himself enough focus to scan through the menu and digest the names of the dishes at least. He hadn't bothered to even spare a good look at the board outside nor what the hell the other customers were eating and thus, he was excruciatingly slow.

On top of that, he was exhausted from a day of work and most days, he wouldn’t have bothered to go on a date, not with a colleague at that.

It’s not a date. Levi reminded himself. He shouldn’t be dating subordinates. That was another source of stress at that moment.

A few times Levi looked up at the menu, making some ingenious excuse about how he couldn’t decide and how he needed some blank space to help clear his mind before he tried to decide again. Every single time he looked up, he had to internally make an excuse because Petra was staring right at him.

“Have you decided what you want to get?” Petra asked, her voice was a song. She propped her elbows on the table, a rude gesture in most places. She managed to subdue rudeness by propping her chin on top, a look of seemingly genuine interest in her face.

Seemingly. Who the hell was he kidding, she probably was genuine about it. If it wasn’t his own instinct that could be relied on, he could at least trust the love alarm that had rung with no fail since she joined the company in the first place.

“I’ll get the fried chicken meal.” Levi didn’t particularly like fried chicken. He had been a little too self conscious of how long he had stared at her and back at the menu, how long the awkward silence between them lasted and he soon realized, he had to order quickly, even if he didn’t know yet what else he was missing.

“You wanna get tea? We could share a pot,” Petra suggested as she put down her own menu.

Levi could have finished a pot on his own. He wasn’t telling her that though, especially not right after too many close encounters with what could have been inappropriate. “Sure.” Levi nodded a little faster, hoping that was enough to feign excitement.

The waiter came and went with the menus on hand and Petra started to ask questions, questions that were invasive enough that Levi had a hard time thinking two things at once.

They weren’t too personal. In fact, they weren’t about him anyway. Levi started to figure that for himself when he got his bearings. “What about Hange?” Levi asked. He was stalling, finding ways to untangle his hairball of thoughts.

“You were asking me right? About any advice on what to give Hange for her birthday?” Petra asked.

“Yes, I did.” Why did he forget?

Assuming the love alarm didn’t have a bug, and the reading was accurate, that means this ‘love’ between me and Zeke is one sided.

“Well, we could check out a few shops nearby. You could buy her something that could help her with organization. Diaries, bookmarks, pencil cases, wallets…” The list went on and the contents had started to become unbearably boring. Really, would Hange have enjoyed those?

But I don’t think it’s one sided. Love is a choice right? I can choose to love him. So if you and Petra---

Me and Petra. There were too many things wrong with it, a boss and a direct report, a conflict of interest.

But she seems genuine. She seems like a good person. And maybe she could be worth pursuing.

She’s my direct report. He argued then.

But if you decide to pursue a relationship, you can always just reshuffle, right?

Petra continued to talk. “Does she like tea? We could give her a tea bag. The one I bought you last Christmas… it took me months to find it…” She brought out her phone and started to scroll, seeming too deep in thought. She furrowed her brows and bit her lip, as if the extra effort hurt..

An unnecessarily vigorous effort over a simple request from him. Guilt was an unwelcome feeling but it was also incredibly tenacious, like a cockroach. His mind was becoming more receptive to painful speculation as he watched Petra grapple over her choices, and he wasn’t at all being helpful.

Guilt was the rising action. Then everything fell into place soon after, not into place, more like a chaotic order, like a ton of bricks.

And that order made his feelings more intelligible.

He didn’t want to be in a relationship with Petra. That was all there is to it.

Love is a choice right? A tiny glimmer of protest made itself known in the silence. Those were words from Hange, echoed multiple times before in an exact tone and manner only Hange could ever pull off.

Can I choose to love Petra? Levi asked himself then.

Petra was a nice girl. She was helpful. She worked hard. She was competent. More importantly, she was single and she wasn’t married to his very rich client.

Most importantly though, in the grand scheme of all his experiences and emotions, Levi had to point out to himself, she wasn’t Hange.

Why don’t you give her a chance? Hange had asked that then. She goaded him, nudged him and pushed him out of his own office, to follow after Petra had left the office with the devices.

It's frowned upon, boss colleague relationship. Levi had argued.

Something tells me she likes you. Hange continued, as if she never heard of the unspoken taboos of office relationships. Maybe she hadn’t.

Besides, I noticed… You know, you look a lot happier. How that had ended up the conclusion of their conversation, Levi couldn't exactly tell. He remembered looking up at Hange, to hell with how far down his jaw dropped or how wide his eyes were. There was just something special about Hange pointing out something and how quickly something could easily become a certain reality when someone just verbalized it.

Maybe he was happier, maybe he started to appreciate nature a lot more. Maybe he had started to see more color the past few months.

His own recall of Hange, his own thoughts that flew back to her had him perceptive of the variety on his plate, the decorations on the shop for just a split second and when he looked up to Petra, a part of him was at the least attempting to appreciate.

Petra was a redhead, her hair fell in a neat bob that barely brushed her shoulders. Red was a nice color on hair, and Levi only noticed it then. He stared for a while longer, trying to find something to feel, something to think beyond ‘nice.’

Petra’s eyes shot up and she met his gaze. “This is it!”

“What?” Levi asked, almost instinctively. He felt a tad self conscious analyzing the shade of someone’s hair.

“I found the tea, the one I gave you last Christmas. You really liked it right?” Petra asked.

“The Jasmine Pearls?” He did remember the tea then he remembered telling her he really did enjoy it. A part of him had maybe forgotten for a split second that it was Petra who gave it so the question had shaken him more than necessary.

“I was only able to get it from a shipment last time. I had to book three months to get it. But they’re on sale now and---”

“She might prefer coffee though...” Levi said. His own intention had been to find the perfect present, but he ended up feeling guilty as soon as he saw Petra’s reaction.

Her face fell. She turned back to her phone for just a second before fixing her eyes back to his. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for that, I can’t believe I got so excited.” A blush crept up her face.

“No. Don’t think about it like that.” Levi attempted to maintain at least a ghost of a laugh in his tone. The last thing he wanted to do was keep Petra unnecessarily uncomfortable, especially after everything that had happened until that moment.

The air was heavy and he wondered if she noticed it too. She was probably too preoccupied with her own self proclaimed mistakes, very evident by the beet red of her face.

“Let’s go around first. We might come up with something better if we ask around the shops,” Levi suggested. It had been more to comfort her than anything else. The suggestions of a while ago, the list of items had only served to make Levi think a little deeper about it, to the point of acceptance.

Even before they had finished their food, Levi had already concluded for himself, whatever he gave Hange, whether it be a wallet, tea, a small trinket, Zeke had probably come up with a more expensive version, something he probably would have never considered buying himself.

Levi didn’t leave though. Soon after they finished eating, he still accompanied Petra to every shop. He made a facade for himself, a window shopper buying a birthday gift for a good friend, he asked enough questions to engage Petra, everything ending with the conclusion, “I’ll think about it.”

Overtime, he realized he wasn’t thinking too much of what was in front of him. His mind was elsewhere.

Besides, I noticed… You know, you look a lot happier. Hange was smiling when she said it, but the smile didn’t curl the same way the others did. She crinkled her eyes as she spoke but Levi could almost point out the sadness in them.

And he saw it every time he recalled that. What does that have to do with dating Petra?

I like seeing you happy and I think if you found someone to love, maybe you’ll stay like this much longer.

Like what?

More pleasant? Smiling more often? Appreciating stuff outside work?

Hange talked for longer after that but that had worked to motivate him to invite Petra out to get to know her, to ask for advice for a gift for Hange. Somehow, a part of him wanted to take Hange’s advice, stay ‘happy’ so in his own way, he could prove her right and maybe by extension, make her happy too.

But was entertaining a relationship with Petra the right way?

The question burned for longer. Even after they exhausted all the shops and all the ideas that came with it. It was around eight in the evening when they stood by the train station under the mall, exchanging goodbyes. “Make sure to get home safe.” A part of him had considered taking her home. Their trains went in completely opposite directions though.

“Will do,” Petra said.

“We have a long day ahead tomorrow.” They always had a long day ahead but at that point, Levi was foraging for something a boss would say.

“Yeah, I'll make sure to get the testing done tomorrow," Petra said. "What happened today, it definitely gave me the motivation. I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too.” His response was automatic, something he didn’t want to think too much of.

They separated soon after and when Levi boarded the train home, he entertained the question again.

Was entertaining a relationship with Petra the right way to be happy?

I think entertaining love is an opportunity to be happy at least. Hange argued. You don’t have to jump into it but I think building a relationship with someone teaches you a lot and love, it makes life colorful.

Colorful? The trains were grey, the suits of all the passengers were shades of black, grey and the occasional blue. An almost alarming transformation from the gardens, after long days of working with Hange.

A copy of the emotions alarm was downloaded onto his phone and in the silence of the long ride home, he opened it again. He clicked ‘activate,’ the application loaded, no emotion was detected.

It was a fun night right? Levi concluded, there really was some more to improve on in the application. With the amount of testing done, and the amount of data loaded, he also had to entertain the idea that maybe it wasn’t an issue with the application.

Maybe it was his own issue with appreciating, with being open to love. “That’s what you were saying, right Hange?” He whispered to himself. A second later, he thought maybe he had said it loud enough to sound like an idiot.

Before nervousness and overthinking could take over again, he willed himself to mull over Hange’s words like always.

Love is a choice and just be open to it. Even if he didn’t believe it for himself.

***

It turned out, Erwin also knew about Hange’s birthday. And he suggested a basket of fruit as a gift.

Levi had been a little surprised. For one, maintaining partner and customer relations was never part of his job so how the hell was he to know that baskets of fruits and cakes were customary.

And secondly, he was just a little indignant. Erwin was his boss though so he couldn’t tell him that. He complied before going back to his office and booting up his laptop. It felt odd.

The laptop pinged with a characteristic echo and it was much louder in the silence, the almost deafening silence. After all, most days, Hange would have been there to chatter his ear off about her own experience testing.

That day, she had taken the day off. A birthday leave. Just for herself. She took September four and September five off. The fourth was to prepare for the long trip. Then on the fifth, she had dinner with Zeke, in an Italian restaurant on the first floor of a luxury hotel near the city center.

He knew the details, he knew the name. But it has nothing to do with you. He constantly reminded himself, it was only on a good to know basis. Still, he entertained the idea that maybe he could stop by the city center on the train on the way home, just for the modicum of a probability that he did run into them. It was not like he had anything else to do on a Friday night anyway.

But you can think about that tomorrow. Levi scolded himself. Somehow, Hange not being there was making it more difficult to focus. After all, she had been there, every single day before.

Also, how could he entertain multiple other ideas about Hange’s birthday when he didn’t even have a present for her? He had managed to put off Petra’s suggestions lightly, by some distraction from work. He had managed to make a good excuse of the fruit basket, saying that it was better to give a gift as a company.

Really, it had been his own insecurity stopping from putting any money into anything. Zeke could buy Hange a billion wallets, a billion tea bags, a billion fruits basket if it suited him. Then it begged the question for Levi, what could he give that Zeke couldn’t?

The emotion alarm. The answer didn’t come quickly. It came after staring at the desktop screen for long enough to lose grip on the time but after a long moment of doing nothing, Levi eventually brought out a test device and opened the server.

There were three basic emotions. Anger, Sadness and Happieness. Those were the three Hange put into her plan. They were to create the application, test it among patients and study it to see how it could help with more accurate prognosis.

And if he went the extra mile, maybe he could just give it as a late birthday surprise. Or maybe he might end up never finishing it. At least I’d try. That last thought lingered for a second longer and it did its part to send a burst of confidence through him.

He looked through his workflow tracker. No assigned bugs to look into. So he opened a new document, pulled out a paper.

“Hange Zoe, you wanted to test emotions right?” He asked no one in particular. When he was asking questions out loud, ideas ended up flowing much faster. He pulled out a small paper from the post-it stack at the corner of his desk.

“What if we connect it to the web, make a dashboard to display reports, so maybe psychologists have something to look at after testing?” He could have said it out loud. Maybe he didn’t. He had said it loud enough in his head at least to keep his gears moving. “What if we find a way to quantify it?” That last part was ambitious. It would need Hange’s input for sure so he grappled with two ideas, surprising Hange and just suggesting it like a developer.

His ideas were risks, born of long hours of googling enough to maybe bullshit years of studying psychology. Maybe Hange wouldn’t agree, maybe she would. He copied the necessary code from the alarm anyway and decided to just play around with it.

It was a birthday present only he could give anyway.

Another idea popped into his head after an hour more of googling, a much more doable idea. Even before he made sense of it, he pulled another post-it from the side and wrote out the three emotions. Underneath them, he wrote the colors. Red. Blue. Yellow.

Yellow and red became orange. Red and blue became purple. Yellow and blue became green.

He wasn’t a psychologist, he wasn’t a philosopher. He was merely a developer. He was an experienced one at that and with the right amount of free time and the right amount of motivation, he managed at least to pull out a framework and recall the color of the leaf on Hange’s lap.

Red. Yellow. Blue. Orange. Green. Purple. He had enough time to work on some front end tasks that day.

***

He finished it on Friday, the fifth of September, at around noon and maybe he had done a few hours of overtime to get it done, arriving home at midnight just the night before.

It wasn’t perfect but the colors showed up as a big dot under the emotion, and the application would flash in bright shades of red, yellow, blue, orange, green and purple, the latter three a mix of the basic emotions.

It had been a small act of just manipulating the data, loading Hange’s USB full of data to get it to work. Whether it would be accurate, he couldn’t tell but it would be something good to bring up on Monday maybe, a risky birthday present but still, a little risk seemed better than omission when it came to Hange.

The last few parts were a little tests on his end, while testing in between, while signing off necessary decisions for the testing on Monday.

The testing never worked, no emotions flashed onto the screen the few times he tested and every single time, he reminded himself, it wasn’t perfect but maybe Hange would still appreciate it.

By five, he was out, right on time and with his own personal project completed and downloaded into his phone, his workflow tracker empty, and everything ready for the large scale QA event on Monday and he thought himself a little deserving of a little stroll at the city center on a Friday night.

At around thirty minutes past five, he boarded the train, the same route home, stopping five stops shy of his usual stop.

The station at the city center on a Friday night was bustling. It had taken him a good one minute to even push himself out of the train. He only ever managed to get a glimpse of the shops, the city lights beyond the crowds not when he stepped out of the station, but a few blocks after that when for a good few minutes the crowds dissipated into something a little more breathable.

The luxury hotel Hange had mentioned was one, if not the best one in the city and Levi easily picked it out as he stood towards one of the less saturated parts of the crosswalk. It was a skyscraper, the windows were of the modern kind that reflected city lights in a unique way and they covered the building from top to bottom. And even from just his peripherals, he could pick the building out by the strange iridescent flashes of color.

The view was very much worth the price and Levi only had to walk ahead, catch it as a small glimmer behind buildings and crowds to know he was going the right direction, despite having to ride through the crowds.

He arrived at the block, the building only a few feet away, close enough that he had to strain his neck to get a glance of the skyscraper at the top. He looked back down at his phone.

6:30. Hange said they had a reservation for seven. He wondered why he was putting himself through that torture. Would he even get to talk to her? Eventually he realized, might as well make use of that information just to satisfy his curiosity again.

The restaurant was a small place, with glass windows, and if Levi stared long enough he could make out every single face there. For a Friday, it was still empty and he was able to conclude without much of a long glance that Hange wasn’t there.

So he took a good long stroll around the block. He entered leather shops, boutiques that sold branded clothing, staying long enough that the salesman had thought he would have bought.

Thirty minutes passed with a few bumps along the way. Sometimes minutes lasted years, sometimes they lasted split seconds but the bumpy wait was long enough for him to realize that he was doing something completely stupid.

It was Hange's birthday. That was Hange and Zeke's night. All he could give her that day was a greeting, and maybe a basket of fruits, care of Erwin.

So he planned a birthday message, saving it in the drafts. He didn’t have to give her the modified birthday application as a present. He could always prepare a script to pitch his suggested changes for the application on Monday. Disappointment and surrender had him lethargic and for a while after exiting the last store, Levi leaned back on some free brick wall where the space was for rent, a good distance away from the sea of people but still close enough that if he just stretched out his arm, he might just get dragged in.

He leaned back and stared, allowing himself that bout of reprieve as he watched the crowds go by. Crowds of people weren’t anything new, he dealt with those everyday trying to squeeze into the trains during rush hour every morning.

Crowds on a Friday, in the center of the city weren’t something he was completely used to though. He hated crowds and he always strategically timed his personal shopping trips to late afternoons on weekdays, particularly when it was much easier to maintain a comfortable distance from strangers.

When he was observing, time went by at a sluggish pace. For a while, Levi was hypnotized by the strange cadence that accompanied the view. The longer he stared, the more perceptive he became. There was a very big difference between crowds on a weekday during rush hour and crowds on a Friday night moving through a shopping district.

When he was close enough, he immediately picked it out, like a very small diamond in a sea of coal, invisible at first but from the right angle, it suddenly became crystal clear. Crowds in rush hour comprised hard, focused individuals. They were like streams: movements were loud, hard wired towards one direction.

Crowds on a Friday night were more like a river, they were moving but only barely, very subtly. Of course they would, the faces were relaxed, the people were rarely alone. Some clusters in the crowds came as one family, others came in groups of friends and others came in couples.

The more faces Levi scanned, the heavier he became. It dawned on him soon after he was alone in crowd of people and he was fucking lonely. For a second he considered testing his application, he decided soon after that he probably didn’t want a bunch of code rubbing his own loneliness and singleness in his face. For another second, he almost considered inviting Petra over.

Shaking both temporal thoughts away, Levi turned the corner and back to the main road, making some excuse that the main road which passed the five star hotel was the closest way back to the station. It was a valid conclusion at least, the main road was wide enough, and the shops were few and far in between that social distancing wasn’t too big of an issue.

There was another conclusion Levi liked to entertain though. He checked his watch. 7:30.

Hange had said before, the reservation was at seven. He dove into a crowd, while catching a glimpse of the restaurant to the window. Hange was surprisingly easy to spot, maybe because Levi had first swept through the seats on the corner with his vision. He spotted the brown hair, the glasses and a dark purple cocktail dress. Notably, there was no blond companion in front of her.

Zeke was in the toilet, his rational mind justified. “Have fun, Hange,” Levi said. At least he got to see her on her birthday, he allowed himself a passing thought on how well she had dressed up that night, similar to months ago when he had completed the test app. Then he brushed that thought away, looked straight ahead. He stayed with the sea of people, long enough to pass the hotel and as soon as he was a good distance away, he broke away, taking the underground path to the station.

It was still early and the station entrance was surprisingly more peaceful than above ground. He had enough space to open up his phone and check the birthday greeting in his drafts box.

Happy birthday Hange! Excited to continue working with you. See you on Monday for app testing. Btw, thanks for volunteering for the calibration on Monday.

He evaluated for himself that the text was a good balance between casual and professional. Satisfied, Levi clicked send and pocketed his phone as he made his way to the ticket gate.

The next time he opened his phone was in the train, three train stops in when he was lucky enough to catch an empty seat.

Thanks, Levi :)

It was too short of a message for Levi to read through and he was almost disappointed at such a turn out.

What did you expect, an ‘I love you?’ The tremble in his lips was enough evidence, that maybe a part of him did, as embarrassing, as ridiculous of a prospect as it was. He hovered his thumb over the keyboard, letting the weight of the incomprehensible emotions pass before he typed.

See you on Monday. That’s what he had wanted to type, just to keep the conversation going. Hange was still typing though.

Levi was staring at the bubbles above the message box for a good long few minutes. Minutes, it definitely took minutes. Hange was typing long enough for a station to announce a next stop, enough for the train to empty at that stop, enough for it to refill and enough for the conductor to announce the next stop,

The text eventually came. Where are you right now?

How the hell had that taken minutes to write, Levi didn’t know. He wasn’t eager to reciprocate though.

He replied within a few seconds. Why?

Hange took a little longer to reply. The bubble on the screen continued to bounce as Hange Zoe continued to type.

Nothing much. I was just curious. It had taken almost another train stop for Hange to type those six words.

A split second later, another message appeared underneath. Sorry for bothering you. So Hange wasn’t just a slow typer.

It was still eight in the evening, too early that for most, the night hadn’t even started. So Levi took a risk. He left the train at the next stop, boarded the other train that ran through that same line, the train that would bring him back to the city center.

Hange, you okay? He texted.

Hange didn’t reply. There was no bouncing of bubbles above the message box, but he continued to stare, just in case. And that little motion on the screen was a fickle thing.

Sometimes it appeared, sometimes it didn’t.

Hange Zoe is typing.... And sometimes, he stared at it for long enough that it seared into his vision even a minute after it was long gone from the screen.

She never did type anything and maybe he had waited too long for a response. By the time he arrived at the right station again, he tapped his card and exited the ticket gate and ran through the underground. When he reached above ground, he tried to maintain the same speed. That involved pushing through crowds and being a small man, he realized it wasn’t too much of a bother to anyone. After all, with the amount of people huddled in the crowds under the cool air of late summer, he wasn’t the only one pushing.

He didn’t have time to check his phone. And soon, he realized he didn’t need to. He arrived back at the hotel to find Hange hunched over, unmoving in the same seat she had been just a few hours back.

Zeke is in the toilet. Levi told himself. He waited a minute, then another. And when he looked closely, he realized, Hange was on her phone. He opened his phone to see the bubbles bounce again.

Hange Zoe is typing…

Levi was counting minutes, and the bubble never disappeared. He looked back up at the glass door to see Hange was still not moving, still slouched, her head bent over. To the phone on her lap maybe?

He looked back at his phone and concluded then, Hange had been typing for ten minutes.

Maybe Zeke is taking a shit. He set an alarm for ten minutes. The hotel and restaurant bathroom wouldn’t be too far. And no one took a shit for more than twenty minutes right? If Zeke didn’t come back in ten minutes, maybe that meant she was alone.

Ten minutes went by quickly. And a few times Hange had typed, a few times she had laid her phone on the table and leaned back on the chair. A waiter had offered wine once and Hange shook her head.

It would be rude to barge in but at the same time, there were answers he was desperate to get. He sent a message. Are you alone?

The typing stopped for a second. Then it continued for a minute. Then it stopped. Finally, like the sunshine after the rain, a chat bubble appeared and Levi savored the sound for a split second before he took in the contents.

Just one word. Yeah

Where’s Zeke?

He’s not coming tonight.

Levi leaned on the wall just next to the window and typed one message. You need someone there with you?

A few times he glanced back to see a waiter near her, handing Hange a small tray. The bill? He guessed. Hange should be going out soon but she continued to sit, for a few seconds longer.

Her reply came within those few seconds. I don’t wanna be alone tonight.

Levi leaned back on the wall and he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, grappling with the conflict. Should he be happy? Sad?

His phone continued to buzz. Hange had left messages in succession.

Can I stop by?

I know a lot of places won’t be open.

We can get fast food.

Somewhere near your place maybe?

Anywhere that would be convenient for you.

Only if you’re not busy though.

Don’t feel obliged.

A string of messages, longer than he expected.

Exit the shop. Turn right and follow the sidewalk. Don’t cross the street. He was shit at the directions, but he decided for himself, she would ask anyway if she got lost.

It turned out, at the least, the directions sufficed. Soon he was hearing the clack of leather shoes, the rustle of a light autumn coat and Hange’s voice.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was loud and clear even when it was competing with the sea of crowds, the other background conversations, the ads and the sound of traffic. Of course it would be, she was right next to him.

“Are you okay?” Levi asked. It wasn’t the best greeting but it felt like the most natural thing to say.

After all, Hange was smiling but it was an unusual smile. It was one of those smiles that seemed to be carrying a heavy weight. He figured it out after staring for a while longer. it was the weight of her cheeks, the prickling of her eyes. If she let the smile go, maybe everything would have fallen with it.

He gripped her by the hand. “You wanna go somewhere?”

“Let’s get out of here,” Hange said, a noticeable crack in her voice.

Maybe that had been enough to break the fragile smile on her face. In the crowds of people, in the middle of a busy street, there was no time for Levi to check. He thought it the best move to pull and maybe she thought it the best move to follow. She was obedient, predictable and light and he easily brought her farther from the center, towards the quieter parts of the city.

Five minutes of brisk walking, or maybe it was ten and soon, they reached an area with clusters of apartment buildings, residences. There were still small shops, a few restaurants and hole in the wall food stalls, some with lines spilling out all the way until the sidewalk.

At first, it seemed hopeless to find some place just for both of them. With time, Levi started to imagine one particular place that wouldn’t have so many people that late at night.

It should be bedtime for kids already anyway. He thought to himself. And when he articulated it, he was sure, there should be one. And there should be no people.

He just had to find one.

Five more minutes of following the winding roads between apartment buildings and he found one, a comfortable distance away from apartments. They could easily manage a soft conversation with no risk of being heard. He sat back on the swing, taking in the slide, the sandbox a few feet away, the monkey bars and high rise apartment buildings with most windows already illuminated just above them.

Hange had taken the seat beside him.

“Are you okay?” Levi asked again.

“I’m fine,” Hange spat out, only proving she was definitely not fine. There was enough light from the one street light on the corner, the shades of orange, red and white coming from the window and they had all worked together to show a glimmer of Hange’s face, even with her head bent down.

“Are you crying?”

The answer came in heaved breaths. The question must have made her more conscious. She bent down further on the swing. Her bangs covered her face and whatever glimmer he had seen a while ago was forgotten. Eventually, she gathered herself. “Levi, if you ask people why they’re crying, sometimes they just start crying.” She let out another breath.

That didn’t convince him to stop. “Why are you crying?”

“You don’t ask people that.” That time, the words came out a little more seamlessly.

“You asked me if I was crying back then… Back in the office.” Levi never forgot that harrowing experience and it was an easy memory to bring up.

There was silence for a second, save for a few more ragged breaths, the creak of the swing and maybe a few barking dogs from the distance.

Hange broke it herself, her voice much clearer than a while ago. “Sorry, I’m just tired,” she said. “Really tired.”

“Zeke ditched?” Maybe ditch wasn’t the right term. By the time he considered that, the words were long gone from his mouth.

“I knew he wasn’t coming,” Hange said. She pushed on the swing just a little bit, enough to have her swaying.

“Why did you wait?”

“We had a reservation.”

“But if he told you…”

“He told me to cancel it.”

“And your road trip?”

“He said not this weekend. He has a few more meetings and he couldn’t come home on time.” Hange’s voice was alarmingly serious, a sign of acceptance maybe?

Levi hoped not. In a feeble attempt to lighten the mood, he spoke up. “Happy Birthday.”

“I’d rather not think it’s my birthday.” Hange let out a pitiful excuse of a laugh. “How many birthdays do people even get, and here I am wasting one of them being sad.”

“I’m not the best company but I can try to do my part to help make it better,” Levi pulled out his phone and opened his email, opening the apk file he had been working on since that morning. He copied the download link and pasted it on Hange’s message box.

The message was sent quickly and the popping sound from Hange’s phone filled the silence of the empty playground.

“Happy birthday,” Levi said once again with a little more flourish.

“I told you, don’t remind me. Let’s just sit here and talk.” Hange gripped the chains of the swing and leaned back.

“Check your damn phone Hange.”

“Nah… My phone has been chocked full of disappointments since this morning.”

“I sent you your birthday gift through your phone.”

“It can wait until later,” Hange argued.

She was like a five year old child and Levi was starting to give up on even keeping the surprise.“I modified the app,” he said.

“What?” That had gotten Hange’s attention. She pulled out her phone.

“I created another copy of it, played around with the code.”

“Why?” She seemed curious more than anything. Curious was better than sad at least.

“As a birthday gift,” Levi said. “Just open the damn phone.”

Hange picked it up from her lap. A clicking sound as she unlocked the phone then silence and maybe a hint of humming as Hange fiddled with her phone. “I just download it right?”

“No shit Sherlock.” It was a stupid question. Hange had downloaded apk files more times than he could even count.

“Well, you said it’s a new app,” Hange said in defense.

“It is and it isn’t.” Levi moved his head, and it settled as a mix between a shake and a nod. “It’s not part of the original research plan… and I didn’t have much time to test it so it’s not perfect.” He unlocked his own phone and opened the emotions alarm. He stared at it for a second, hovering his thumb over the activate button then he looked over at Hange’s phone. “No need for an email. Just open it.”

“Nothing’s changed,” Hange said.

“Well, I added colors now,” Levi shrugged. “And I tried adding more emotions by playing around with the data, but who knows if they’ll show up.” At that point, he was self conscious enough that he saw it as an obligation enough to manage expectations.

He heard the familiar sound and he was sure Hange had activated it. He activated his own and leaned back on the swing and pushed just a little bit, enough to occupy himself while the alarm read them both.

Hange’s phone rang first.

“What did you get?”

“You added purple?” Hange asked. “What the hell does this mean?”

“Red and blue. So if red is anger and blue is sadness…” Levi started.

“Go on…” Hange said.

“I’m not a philosopher nor a psychologist. You say something.”

“Loathing?” She suggested. “A combination of anger and sadness… It sounds like loathing to me, or indignance.”

His own phone rang, he put the screen up. “I got green. Blue and yellow. Sad and happy. Can someone be sad and happy at the same time?”

“Acceptance,” Hange answered. “Or desire.”

“Those are opposites.” “Opposite sides of the spectrum but they’re the same feelings, they both involve happiness and sadness. Acceptance is sad happiness. Desire is happy sadness.”

He almost regretted asking for Hange’s feedback. He felt her speculation at the pit of his stomach and he only realized when his phone fell to the ground that he froze, lost his balance on the swing for a second. “This hasn’t been tested though so it’s all for fun.” A pathetic disclaimer but it didn’t seem to work. He looked up to see Hange was staring at him.

The tears had dried and her eyes were a bit brighter and she seemed more inquisitive than sad. “You know... " Hange started off slow, breathless from amazement maybe. She was still fiddling, staring at her own screen. "This might be a good idea for the app. Let's test this again on Monday. Maybe we could add this."

“Maybe. We’re gonna have to revise the plan if we do.”

“Or we can keep it just a personal project but let’s think about it Monday.” Hange stood up. It’s getting late.” She put her hands up and stretched, swaying from side to side.

“Yeah, it’s getting cold too,” Levi said. Summer was ending soon.

“Happy Birthday to me,” she added, the venom from a while ago apparent. She pocketed her phone then held her sweater close. “Zeke said to wait a few weeks. I guess I’m gonna have to wait until next year to enjoy summer up north again. Maybe we can go south instead.” She kept her voice cheery, an attempt to lighten the mood.

A seemingly unsuccessful attempt. “You still wanna see summer up north?” Levi asked.

“I wouldn’t mind waiting. I guess what hurts about it is, I’ve been psyching myself up for days. I bought new clothes. I’ve been packing and I’ve already created a route for us,” Hange said.

“Yeah, you were talking about it a few days back, about how this one garden reminds you of Pemberley.” Levi asked.

“Well, last time I went there was a few years ago… There’s an area that reminds me of Pemberley, another one that reminds me of the Rosing garden---” Hange trailed off.

“I wanna see them all,” Levi said. He never finished the book and he wondered if she noticed. Regardless, he wanted to see it anyway. If there was something Hange could talk about for hours, something that had left her a lump of disappointment, he wanted to see it for himself.

“Really?” She said. “But with testing on monday… And you don’t seem like the type to---” Even under the dark night, Hange looked flustered, the pink in her cheeks still apparent.

“As long as we’re back before Monday right?” He didn’t know if she would agree. He didn’t expect her to but when Hange was already hovering such a prospect up in the air. When she had misunderstood that last statement to have been an invite, he might as well just play along. And enjoy it. “I don’t see any problem going with you,” he added that last part just to make it a little clearer.

"Like this weekend?" Hange asked, a look of disbelief on her face.

"This weekend." Levi nodded.

“Then let’s go. When do you think you’ll be ready?”

“We could leave right now.”

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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fuckingrealityshifting · 4 years ago

Note

Regarding the shifting-to-solve-P=NP, consider SHA-256 (see wikipedia). If P=NP, there must exist an algorithm to quickly reverse SHA-256 hashes. Test: A generates a SHA-256 hash of 4 random words, shares the hash. If Person 2 can recover the words, it's definitive proof of computational powers beyond present day. This might not work if P!=NP, eg if no reality can solve SHA-256. If you want, you can use: 21ad2e167ba87b9235a35312d5cb41b588b17c88fff9542110441f1915295acf

(part 2) that's a lot to memorize, so I'd suggest turning it into words or finding a way to encode it in a poem/mnemonic. The alternative would be finding something that hashes to 0000000000.... but then memorizing the output back to CR is harder. --- (Personally I'd doubt that there's anything metaphysical going on, but I support your scientific spirit and totally agree with "even if it's not travelling universes, it's something I want to experience". Good luck y'all, stay safe, happy shifting)

///

I haven’t gotten to this yet in my box regarding answering but I have read it before and realized this is probably not the easiest thing to start with, because I keep getting lost lmfao

I understand the concept/question of basically “if you can quickly verify an answer in polynomial time can you solve in polynomial time quickly?” but honestly after that I don’t think I comprehend well enough to trust myself to learn it and bring it back to talk about. And with all honestly I don’t get SHA-256 much at all lmfao

So for now I don’t think I’m gonna experiment with math problems.

I am going to keep a reference for all this though because it’s gonna click more the longer it’s in my brain and maybe I want to use it in the future.

I’m still interested in exploring whether this is a real reality or not, and for an initial shift, I’m leaning more and more towards Spanish since I’ve wanted to shift to learn that anyway.

I know this is something that is more shaky regarding proof, particularly for those who don’t believe, because I can’t truly prove I’m not already incredibly fluent right now. But, it would be a start, and most importantly, a confirmation for me.

If I come back convinced I’ve learned Spanish overnight, start talking and Spanish speakers have no idea what I’m on about, then that will tell me something. If I come back overnight and suddenly get an A easily in my Spanish class, then that will also tell me something, and I can go from there.

#shifting #shiftblr #reality shifting #spirituality #desired reality #unreality

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name-me-regret · 3 years ago

Text

If The World Was Ending 14/?

If The World Was Ending Chapter Fourteen: A Lethal Side

Read on AO3.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“Some things I just cannot change Are you waiting for me to show you the way out? This love has a lethal side I would take the bullet, ah

You feel just like you're wasting a lifetime on me Just give into the feeling we got something real, yeah 'Cause every love song needs somebody to sing

So let me show you I'm what you need before you run away...

Can't hear what those people say Telling you that you're crazy believing in me now And if we march on the front line I would take the bullet...”

~ Runaway - James Carter

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

‘Because you’re exhausting!’

The words had been playing on repeat in his mind for the past hour, and it didn’t look like it would stop any time soon. Buck felt, not for the first time, that he had made a mistake for filing that lawsuit. That was especially true since it had solved nothing. His friends, his family, had pulled away further. That was none more true than Eddie, who had started to pull away from him even before the lawsuit. Now, he was sure he had completely lost him.

Buck cleared his throat, wiping hastily at his eyes. He decided that he needed to clear his mind, and that it was time to fall back on his usual coping method. So, he stopped briefly at his loft to get changed into his hiking gear. He’d added to the collection in the last two years that he had been with the 118, especially since he was trained in rescue and knew what was needed in case of an emergency.

He’d been part of a lot of hikes, so he knew that things that might seem like overkill, were essential. That meant his headlamp since it was almost sunset, and made sure he checked the batteries on it and brought extra ones just in case. He also made sure he had his LifeStraw Water Filter that he’d recently purchased, since he’d taken to hiking a lot during his recent shifts as the Fire Marshal.

The man sent a text to Maddie telling her he was going for a hike at Griffith Park, which would be open until 9pm, so he had plenty of time for a few hours to go on the hiking trail. When he arrived at the park almost 40 minutes later the sun was almost completely setting, he grabbed his backpack with his supplies but first slipped on his hydration backpack, which was small enough to fit on his front, against his chest. He had enough water for at least a two to three hour hike.

He was twenty minutes into his hike, not having seen anyone on the dark trail this whole time, when his playlist cut off as his phone started to beep furiously. “JARVIS?” Buck asked as he detached his phone from the strap of his backpack.

‘Sir will be with you shortly, Mr. Buckley,’ JARVIS told him. Buck knew that J was an AI, but he had always been pretty expressive. However, he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard him sound as strained as he did now.

“What? Why? What’s going on, J?”

The AI was silent before he started to speak again. ‘Sir was attacked two hours ago by an assailant that I’ve been able to identify as the Winter Soldier.’

This alarmed Buck and he lifted his head, looking for the armor but the dark sky was empty thus far. “Is Tony hurt? Why are you bringing him here?”

‘Sir didn’t have a combat ready armor with him at the time and though he managed to evade capture, he suffered a head injury that’s rendered him unconscious.’

“Why didn’t you take him to the hospital?” Buck demanded. “He could have a concussion!”

‘My protocols are to bring him to the closest person he trusts, and since his healthcare proxy is currently in D.C., you were the closest person to his location.’

Buck ran a hand through his hair, his cap getting knocked off in the process, but not that he noticed in that moment. “Alright… alright,” he muttered. He turned back and started to run back the way he had come, and was glad he hadn’t gone too far down the trail. He reached his Jeep in less than ten minutes, glad that he had kept to his training regiment after he’d started his light duty. After all, lying around doing nothing was more detrimental to his health.

He heard the repulsors then and he lifted his head to see the armor coming in from the west. That meant he had been in Malibu when he’d been attacked. The armor touched down more gently than he would have thought, but then again, JARVIS was the one flying it. It also appeared to be an incomplete armor, so that’s likely why he’d been mostly unprotected from the attack.

“Alright, open her up J,” he told the AI. When he did, Buck was ready to catch Tony as the unconscious man tumbled out. He’d opened his passenger side door ahead of time and easily lifted him and put him inside. “Tony, hey,” he said as he rubbed his sternum and patted his cheek to get him to wake up.

Tony moaned weakly and his eyelashes fluttered but didn’t open. The was blood caked on the side of his head from where he’d been hit and Buck didn’t have time to wonder what exactly it had been. Tony whimpered when he shifted him up further in the seat, making Buck wince.

“Sorry, sorry, but I need you to wake up.” Finally, his eyes opened and Buck couldn’t help grin at him. “There you are.”

“Ev?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” He took his headlamp off as an idea occurred to him, and used that to shine in his eyes. He flinched at the light and that wasn’t a good sign, especially since his pupils were dilated. When the man suddenly leaned out the open door and threw up, narrowly missing Buck’s hiking boots, he knew that he had a concussion, and needed to get him to the hospital to make sure it wasn’t anything worse.

That’s when he noticed the blood at his side and when he lifted his shirt, Buck saw that he’d torn his stitches. “Shit,” he hissed. He reached under his seat for his first aid kit, being thankful for his sister’s paranoia after the truck bombing. He quickly patched the wound, since he didn’t have the supplies to restitch it there and then he buckled him in and ran around to the driver’s side. Buck was relieved when he pulled up his maps amp and saw that there was a medical center less than ten minutes away. As he drove, he had JARVIS call the hospital.

“Tony? Are you awake?” The man groaned. “Do you know where you are?”

“M’in y’r Je’p?” Tony slurred. That didn’t sound good.

“Can you remember what happened?” Buck pressed, needing to see how bad the concussion was.

“Dunno… g’t hit?”

“Do you remember what hit you?”

Tony was silent for too long that Buck reached over and shook him, and sighed in relief when the man flinched. “No… no,” he said, shaking his head but moaned in pain at the movement. “Hurts.”

“I know, but I got you, Tony,” he reassured him. He looked behind him when he saw the blue lights and a cop car, which then pulled along side and then he motioned for Buck to follow him. It seemed JARVIS had also contacted the police department for an escort. Buck gave a thumbs up and followed the black and white cruiser.

As soon as they pulled into the ER, a few nurses and a doctor rushed out with a gurney. Buck told them about the head injury and the torn stitches as they loaded Tony onto the gurney. The cop told him that he’d be guarding Tony as per the instructions of someone named JARVIS. Then he was left alone, not knowing what to do except look at the hospital doors for a few moments before the siren of an arriving ambulance snapped him out of it. He closed the passenger side door of his Jeep and then got back in to find a parking space.

He was lucky to find one, even if it was further away than he would have liked. However, before he could leave the Jeep, JARVIS spoke up again. ‘Mr. Buckley, sir is being tracked.’

“What? By who?”

‘The Winter Soldier.’

“Who is that?” Buck asked a bit hysterically. He didn’t know what was going on. All he knew was that someone had hurt Tony and now they were likely coming to finish the job.

’He is an assassin that’s been sent by HYDRA.’

“Hydra? What is Hydra?”

‘HYDRA is an authoritarian paramilitary subversive terrorist organization bent on world domination. It was very active during World War 2 but with the efforts of Captain America and the Howling Commandos, they were able to destroy it.’

“I’m sensing a but,” Buck groaned where he’d laid his head against the steering wheel. This was spiraling into very dangerous territory, and Buck felt that he was barely keeping his head above water.

‘It seems to have survived and infiltrated SHIELD. Sir discovered this several days ago, as well as a plan to use an algorithm created by a HYDRA scientist to identify people that posed a threat to them and thus be able to eliminate them.’

“He stopped them and then they came after him?” Buck hazarded a guess. He took in several shaky breaths, trying not to have a panic attack right that moment. He was a first responder, a fire fighter that was used to running into a burning building, but this was more Athena’s area. Only, he couldn’t call her, couldn’t call anyone for help.

It was in that moment that Buck truly felt alone. He was alone in this.

‘Yes, that is correct.’

Buck contemplated on what he should do now, wondering if he should go inside, or call the police to warn them. It was just, would they believe him at all? Buck seriously doubted it. He was worried, because right now Tony was unprotected. “What do I do, J? I’m just a firefighter... or rather, I was.” He sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair. “I can’t help him.”

‘There is a way, Mr. Buckley.’

The man’s head lifted in surprise. “What? How? What do I have to do?” He’d already lost his family at the 118 and didn’t want to also lose Tony. If there was something that he could do, then he would.

‘The Rescue Protocol.’

Buck frowned. “What’s that?”

‘Sir designed armor to your measurements and called it the Rescue armor.’

“What?!”

Before he could ask more, he heard the sound of repulsors once again and rolled down his window as he stuck his head out of it. He saw the suit coming from the east, which he found was weird. “Where is it coming from, J?”

‘Sir designed it and had it built at his lab in New York, because that lab had the equipment for it. He activated the protocol almost three hours ago, but since it was on the other side of the country, it is only now arriving.’

Buck stumbled out of the Jeep and saw not one armor, but two of them. “Wait, that’s two armors.”

‘It is War Machine, Mr. Buckley.’

“Holy shit,” Buck gasped, not believing that he was about to see Rhodes after all these years.

The two armors touched down and the face plate lifted on the War Machine armor. “Evan Buckley, is that you?” the man asked incredulously. The War Machine armor gave Rhodes about four inches, so they were about the same height.

“Rhodes, hey man,” Buck greeted him weakly. As he turned to what JARVIS had dubbed the Rescue armor, he saw that it would likely give him four inches as well. That explained why the Rescue armor looked taller. It was also colored the same blue as his LAFD uniform.

Rhodes pointed at the other armor. “Is it safe to assume this is for you to use?”

Buck ran a hand down his face as he nodded. “I don’t- I don’t know the first thing about how to use it. I kinda just found out literally a minute before you got here.”

“Lucky for you, FRIDAY informed me about the situation going on with Tony, so you might not have to use it.”

“Who’s-?”

‘Colonel Rhodes, incoming from the west,’ JARVIS interrupts them suddenly, voice urgent.

The Rescue armor is opening and Buck yelps as it lunges at him and incases him. He staggers back as the HUD turns on, breathing heavily and an alarm is suddenly beeping. Buck is stunned as his Jeep suddenly explodes in a ball of fire as it is flung to the side and into another car. The instincts he learned from his time in the SEALs kick in as he jumps away, rolling with the momentum, and is shocked at how easy the armor moves around him.

“Evan!” Buck hears Rhodes panicked voice and his vision is suddenly filled with a man with long hair wielding a grenade launcher, which is aimed right at him. He jerks to the side to avoid the grenade, which sails dangerously close to his face and it hits another vehicle that also explodes.

‘Mr. Buckley, may I suggest leaving the area before the hospital takes damage,’ JARVIS tells him.

“How do I do that?!” He yelps as the repulsors at his feet suddenly turn on and he waves his arms around wildly as he starts to lift off the ground, which makes the take off shaky and almost flies into another car.

‘Keep your hands at your side, Mr. Buckley,’ the AI instructs.

Buck quickly does that and the armor shoots into the sky, and it’s only because he’s jumped from a helo into the ocean during the BUD/S training that he doesn’t scream. Of course, he hadn’t made it much longer after passing Hell Week, because he hadn’t been able to turn off his emotions. So, he was very terrified in that moment. Especially when he saw a motorcycle following them with the long haired man on it, and did he have a fucking metal arm?!

“Evan, this way,” he hears Rhodes call. He follows JARVIS’s instructions as he angles his body to follow the man and almost whoops when he’s able to do it without veering too much off course. “We need to get away from the city before we engage.” They’re heading toward the Hollywood Hills, more than likely where there are very little houses.

Buck is totally onboard with that, since the last thing he wants is for someone to get hurt. He tries not to think too closely about what engage actually means, and that he was going to actively attack someone. And shit, he’s thinking about it now.

Then an alarm starts to blare through the speakers and with J’s warning, Buck twists in midair to avoid being hit as their pursuer shoots at them, which sends him into a sudden barrel roll that has him giving a choked off scream. He some how manages to regain control of the —his?— armor and gasps when he sees that the grenade had missed him, but managed to hit a building. Buck becomes alarmed when he sees that it was a house on the edge of where the hills start.

“Shit!” Buck exclaims as he turns, forgetting his fear and even that he’s way out of his element. There are people in danger and he can’t just do nothing. “JARVIS, is there some kind of fire suppressant system in the suit?” He sees as the AI selects the systems but curses when he sees its aimed for it to be used in case the suit is on fire or sparks. “I need something to stop the fire!”

‘There is a water gun on the shoulder,�� JARVIS tells him. Of course he had seen it, which resembled the one that Rhodes had on the War Machine armor, but he had assumed it was a weapon. ‘If you land in the pool beside the house, there are compartments that will open to suck into the suit and that will be directed to the water gun.’

Buck grinned despite himself, because he hadn’t been expecting that. “Wow, I thought it was a gun!”

‘That’s why Sir called it the Rescue armor. He designed it especially for you.’

And Buck could see that now. He hadn’t designed it like a weapon the way he had for Rhodes’s War Machine armor, but like a tool used to rescue people for Buck. Because that is what Buck did, he was a firefighter and he rescued people, and now the name Rescue for the armor made sense. “Alright then, J. Let’s see what this thing can do.” He had the AI connect him to Rhodes and told him that he needed to keep the assassin off his back while he went to put out the fire and see if there had been anyone inside the house.

“Roger,” Rhodes tells him. The War Machine turns and heads toward where the motorcycles is still following them. It also appears as if there are two police cars and one police motorcycle following the man. Whether they were alerted because he was breaking laws to catch up to them or because someone saw him shooting the grenade launcher is unclear, but that doesn’t matter at the moment.

“J, is there like some kind of autopilot on this thing? I don’t think I can land softly enough not to damage the pool.” Buck asked as they fly toward the house. He grins when the AI takes control of the suit and they land. JARVIS relinquishes control almost immediately after and he grins when he sees that the water can also come out of the hands by three individual tubes that can open up at the palms. It’s a good thing the pool is fairly large, and the gallons in it are likely enough to extinguish the flames. If not, there is another pool next door he can use.

“Aright, let her rip, J,” he tells the AI. He braces for the pressure to hit, use to doing it when he handles the hose as a firefighter, but it seems that he doesn’t need to as the suit is immovable. The water leaves the gun and the palms of the armor, and he aims at the worse of the flames. He cuts off the flow when the flames frizzle out, but makes sure there is enough left inside the suit in case there is more fire inside. There is a hole on one side of the house, and he rushes in like he usually does. “LAFD! Is anyone in here?” Buck shouts, forgetting that he isn’t a firefighter with the department anymore.

There is smoke and ash from the destroyed wall in the air and he kicks a few chucks away as he goes further inside. “Hello! Is someone in here?” His voice sounds mechanical and almost resembles what Tony’s does whenever he speaks while in the suit.

That’s when the suit’s HUD displays a scan of the house and it detects three heat signatures. Even then, he keeps calling and soon he hears a voice calling for help. The first person is a man in his early fifties which is the owner, judging by the information that JARVIS is displaying, and that he lives there with his younger wife and fifteen-year-old son. He brings the man out even as he protests. “I’m going to get them out,” he tells him with certainty.

He finds the wife next in a bathroom, a woman in her early forties who is unconscious from a hit to the head. Buck needs to secure her neck and substitutes a towel gently but tightly around her neck, making sure its not enough to strangle her. He then sees a bathrobe and uses the tie of it to secure the towel in place. Now that the neck is secure in case she has a spinal or neck injury, he carries her out.

“Evan, are you clear?” Rhodes calls over the coms, hearing the strain in his voice.

“Almost, Rhodes. I got one more victim inside the house. Give me ten minutes.”

“You got five,” he gasped. Buck jerks his head up as he hears an explosion, but sighs in relief when he sees War Machine still in the air.

“Copy!” Buck yells as he runs back into the house. JARVIS had pulled up the information, so he knows the name of the young man. “Jake! Jake, are you there?” He hears the house groan and knows the explosion caused the whole structure to be unstable, but he doesn’t want to leave until he has the teenager. Buck heads to where the heat signature is coming from, glad there isn’t any more fire, but there are sparks and if the gas line was damaged it could get really dangerous really fast. So he hurries. “Jake!”

He comes upon a room for a teenage girl and decides that he obviously isn’t there. Then he sees movement and turns. “Jake?” he calls as he rushes in. He finds a teenage girl huddled in the corner, confused by her presence there and wondering if he’ll have enough time to find Jake, but knows he can’t leave her there.

“It’s Jenny,” she whimpers as the house shudders.

Buck is confused. “What?”

“That... that’s not my name. It’s Jenny.” She cries out as the house shakes again. “J-Ja... that’s not my name!”

He realizes what she means almost immediately and nods as he kneels. “Alright, Jenny,” he soothes. He holds out his armored hand. “Take my hand, sweetheart. I’ll get you out, alright?”

Her eyes, bluer than even his own, dart up to his face. Then she nods and takes it. Buck lifts her up and carries her out. He deposits her into her father’s waiting’s arms who sobs a thanks for getting his daughter out, and Buck takes a moment to smile.

“Evan!”

“Shit!” he curses when he sees another grenade coming their way and instinctively lifts his hands and lets the water go with all the pressure the suit has, from the water gun as well. It must be more like a water cannon, because it knocks the grenade out of its course, and it hits the house. Buck turns and shields the family from the debris as it seems to hit another support beam and the whole structure comes down.

When he makes sure the family of three is okay, he goes a few steps away and his second take off is more smooth than the first one. He sees the lights of the emergency crews as he goes, and now that he knows the family is safe, he decides to concentrate on the fight that’s coming. Buck had never been a violent person, had never seen combat during his SEAL training, but he also knows that he can’t stand by while this assassin wrecks havoc and harms more people.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Athena had gotten a call from one the police officers in East Hollywood. While she wasn’t able to put any kind of official alert on her family or the 118’s vehicles or homes, they each knew the names of the people closest to them. When one of them was involved is an accident or any kind of incident. Mostly it was her kids, Michael and Bobby. Oh, and Buck, of course. It was because that kid was always getting into trouble, and because despite what Bobby said, Buck was his son. He was his son even while he was suing Bobby and the man was mad at him.

So, when the East Hollywood police were contacted by Iron Man’s associate to be an escort and given the license plate of Buck’s Jeep (which he’d just gotten back from the body shop), Athena had found out about it twenty minutes later. Naturally, she told Bobby, who was off shift and both of them raced over toward Kaiser Permanente regardless that they couldn’t contact Buck due to the lawsuit.

They were horrified when they found that area around the hospital parking lot cordoned off by police. Athena got off to try to find out something, telling Bobby to circle around and she’d call him when she knew something. She was able to pass through the police line easily enough, and even if she wanted to go immediately to the hospital and find out about Buck, something drew her to the scene.

There were several vehicles that had been on fire, which meant the another fire station, mainly station 6, were on the scene. There was a lot of destruction, like a bomb had gone off, and as she walked closer to the scene to try and see what was happening, she stepped on something.

The woman frowned and bent down to pick it up, seeing it was a California license plate, covered in soot and half burned. She wiped at the numbers, the curiosity getting the better of her. The moment she did, the sob felt like it was punched out of her.

It was Buck’s license plate.-

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

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cardest · 4 years ago

Text

France playlist

When in France, I wear no pants!

This is my French playlist. It’s one that I am very proud of. It took me several months of researching, listening, finding, playing records to gather over 400 songs. But, France. What a country! This playlist could go as far as 500 songs.

Hit play: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1-CHRTel_bBjdT_DAHLrnvX

There is an endless amount of talent from this part of the world. From across many decades the songs just keep coming. Incredible. Une région tellement incroyable pour la musique. Here is a list I created. It took me many months to compile.

**Updated April 19, 2021** ** indicated new additions to this playlist.

FRANCE 001 Panther Theme Song (Original Version) - Panther Theme Song 002 Gojira - L'Enfant Sauvage 003 Therion - Initials B.B 004 Fantomas - Page 1 [6 Frames] 005 Kraftwerk - Tour De France Etape 1 006 Alcest - Les Voyages De L'Âme 007 Serge Gainsbourg - Le Poinçonneur Des Lilas 008 Fantomas - Page 2 [7 Frames] 009 Sabina - Viva LAmour 010 Rammstein - Fruhling in Paris 011 Jacques Dutronc - Paris séveille 012 Léo Ferré - Paris cest une idée 013 Aosoth - Temple Of Knowledge 014 Joe dassin - Les Champs Élysées 015 Iron Maiden - Murders In The Rue Morgue 016 Grace Jones - Libertango (Ive Seen That Face Before) 017 ARISTIDE BRUANT - A Batignolles 018 Magma - Merci (Ki Ïahl Ö Lïahk) 019 WIRE - French Film Blurred 020 Duran Duran - A view to a Kill 021 Fantomas - Page 3 [17 Frames] 022 Karl Heinz Schaefer - Les gants blancs du diable 023 The Cure - How Beautiful You Are 024 Ovtrenoir - Outrenoir 025 Apocalyptica - Through Paris in a Sportscar 026 Henry Mancini - Mambo Parisienne 027 Madonna -Justify My hate 028 Patachou - Rendez-vous de Paname 029 Grand Guignol Orchestra - Un trop plein de rouge ** 030 ZAZ - Sous le ciel de Paris 031 Patrick Juvet - Paris By Night 032 Gojira - Silvera 033 Roger Roger - Sans Queue ni Tete 034 Modern Talking - Bells Of Paris 035 TOMBS - Once Falls the Guillotine 036 Popera Cosmic - Les Esclaves ** 037 Fantomas - Page 5 [7 Frames] 038 Sael - I Searched For The End Of The Spiral 039 Blancmange - Dont Tell Me 040 Thunderball - Thunderball (Main Title) 041 France Gall - Ella Elle La 042 Henry Apocalypse de Jean Premier temps - Titre-révélation 043 Merrimack - Arousing Wombs in Nine Angles Pleroma 044 Perturbator - She Moves Like a Knife 045 Fantomas - Page 6 [26 Frames] 046 John Cale - Half Past France 047 Queensryche - Last Time In Paris 048 Deathspell Omega - Abscission 049 QUEEN - PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE (Highlander) 050 David Bowie - Heroes - Chante En Francais 051 Berlin - Metro 052 April March - Chick Habit 053 Alcest - Je Suis D'Ailleurs 054 Lizzy Mercier Descloux - Slipped Disc 055 Black Devil - Follow Me (Instrumental) 056 Jacqueline François - Ce Jour La A Paris 057 Duo Tata - Paris nous aime 058 Boogalox - chez les ye-ye 059 Necrowretch - Ripping Souls Of Sinners 060 Fantomas - Page 9 [11 Frames] 061 Thunderball OST - Chateau Flight 062 Heldon - Les soucoupes volantes vertes 063 Chene Noir - La musique des amants ** 064 B.F.G - Paris 065 Jet Vegas - PARIS 066 Cloven Hoof - Notre Dame (A Sultans Ransom ) 067 Moondog - Paris 068 Serge Gainsbourg - Shu Ba Du Ba Loo Ba 069 Treponem Pal - Renegade (french version) 070 THE VOLUPTUOUS HORROR OF KAREN BLACK - Bring Back The Night 071 Fantomas - Page 10 [15 Frames] 072 Elton John - Paris 073 Malcolm McLaren - Jazz is Paris 074 Jean-Claude Vannier - L'enfant La Mouche Et Les Allumettes 075 Fantomas - Charade 076 DÉLUGE - Appâts 077 Berurier noir - Salut à toi 078 Sweet - The Six Teens 079 Les Discrets - Effet De Nuit 080 David Bowie - Station To Station (French Single Edit) 081 Vanessa Paradis - Joe Le Taxi France 082 Fantomas - Page 11 [10 Frames] 083 Little River Band - Seine City 084 Loudblast - Cross the Threshold * 085 Dokken - Paris is Burning 086 BLUT AUS NORD - Epitome II 087 Pixies - Alec Eiffel 088 Army of Lovers - Ballrooms Of Versailles 089 Metal Urbain - Paris Maquis 090 Hante. - Nobodys Watching (feat. Marble Slave & Fragrance) 091 Jonathan Richman - Give Paris One More Chance 092 Un Monstre à Paris - La Seine OST 093 Sheena Easton - Weekend In Paris 094 Domenico Modugno - Un sicilien à Paris 095 Amelie OST - Lautre valse dAmélie 096 Queen - Killer Queen 097 Jean Ferrat - Un enfant quitte Paris 098 Trini Lopez - Made In Paris 099 Anathema - Parisienne Moonlight 100 Mike Patton - Jean Claude Vannier - Browning 101 Tygers Of Pan Tang - Paris By Air 102 The Angels - Storm The Bastille 103 April March - La Chanson de Prevert 104 UK Subs - Party in Paris 105 Fantomas - Page 14 [4 Frames] 106 Marie-France - Déréglée 107 Therion - Poupée De Cire, Poupée the Son 108 Grant Lee Phillips - Mona Lisa 109 Obsequiae - L'amour dont sui espris 110 erge Gainsbourg - Qui est "in" qui est "out" 111 SABINA - TOUJOURS 112 Pierre & Bastien - Pilule pour mec 113 Vulcain - Ebony 114 Fantomas - Page 15 [22 Frames] 115 Don Ellis - theme from the French Connection 116 Jean Yanne - Coït 117 Trust - Par Compromission 118 David Bowie - Rosalyn 119 Alain Goraguer - Deshominisation (II) 120 Fantomas - Page 16 [11 Frames] 121 Michel Magne - Route de nuit 122 Fantomas - Page 17 [14 Frames] 123 R.E.M. - Talk About The Passion 124 Sortilège - Civilisation Perdue 125 Zoot Sims Quartet - Evening in Paris 126 Madeline - Im Madeline 127 Sapho - Train de Paris 128 Hobbs' Angel Of Death - Marie Antoinette 129 Carpenter Brut - Turbo Killer 130 Fantomas - Page 18 [20 Frames] 131 Kraftwerk - Tour De France Etape 2 132 Huata - Diving In A Swamp 133 Brigitte Fontaine - Areski_Depuis 134 Dark Moor - Maid Of Orleans 135 Joan of Arc - Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes 136 Arcade Fire - Joan of Arc 137 Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Maid Of Orleans 138 Tom Waits - Cemetery Polka 139 Fantomas - Page 19 [21 Frames] 140 Grace Jones - Slave to the Rhythm 141 Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene 10 142 Charles Aznavour - Desormais 143 Monolithe - Anechoic Aberration 144 The DUBROVNIKS - French Revolution 145 Iron Maiden - Montsegur 146 Joey Starr - JArrive 147 Nino Ferrer - Le Sud 148 IQ - Dans Le Parc Du Chateau Noir 149 Catherine Ribeiro + Alpes Ame Debout 150 Fantomas - OST main theme 151 Peter Gabriel - Games Without Frontiers 152 La Femme - Sur la planche 153 Deerhoof - Fête Dadieu 154 Johnny Hallyday - Souvenirs souvenirs 155 Joan Jett - French Song 156 PIL - Cest La Vie 157 Arkhon Infaustus - Amphessatamine Nexion 158 Spektr - Teratology 159 Jacqueline Taïeb - 7 Heures Du Matin 160 Kylie Minogue - Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi 161 Dillinger Escape Plan - Farewell Mona Lisa 162 TELEPHONE - Un autre monde 163 Indochine - Laventurier 164 Les Démons de Minuit - Images 165 Benjamin Biolay - Lyon presquîle 166 Fantomas - Page 21 [11 Frames] 167 The Police - Hungry for You (Jaurais Toujours Faim de Toi) 168 Army Of Lovers - Crucified 169 Arcturus - La Masquerade Infernale 170 Arcturus - Master Of Disguise 171 mio - mao 172 Yves Montand - Les Canuts 173 Alcest - Percées De Lumière 174 ZEN ZILA - Les Invisibles 175 Mike Patton - Ford Mustang (Serge Gainsbourg Cover) 176 Asphodèle - Gueules Crasses 177 Rage - French Bourree 178 Raison D'etre - Auto-dafe 179 Iggy Pop - Sister Midnight 180 Fantomas - Page 22 [7 Frames] 181 Henri Renaud - Venez Donc Chez Moi ** 182 Mary Bell - Band-Aid Baby 183 Sébastien Tellier - La Ritournelle 184 Debussy & Wright - Claudine (In a french cafe) 185 ELEND - Nocturne 186 Les Lèvres Rouges (Daughters of Darkness) - Theme from film 187 Tristania - Heretique 188 Marseille sans bateau - Nicoletta 189 Tino Rossi - Marseille mon pays 190 Bagarre générale - Furvent 191 Henry Mancini & His Orchestra - French Provincial * 192 The Angels - Marseilles 193 Deftones - Riviére 194 Claude François - Le temps que jarrive à Marseille 195 Tais - toi Marseille paroles 196 Elton John - I'm Still Standing 197 The Stranglers - Nice in Nice 198 Motörhead - Coup De Grace 199 Fantomas - Page 23 [17 Frames] 200 Igorrr - ieuD 201 Therion - Polichinelle 202 Obsequiae - Des Oge Mais Quer Eu Trobar 203 Alain Goraguer - La Femme 204 Talking Heads - Psycho Killer 205 Lafayette Afro Band - Malik 206 Putumayo French Cafe. Georges Brassens - Je MSuis Fait Tout Petit 207 La Femme - Elle ne taime pas 208 Benighted - Versipellis 209 Fantomas - Page 24 [19 Frames] 210 Abigail - Je Taime 211 Bill wyman - je suis un rockstar 212 Françoise Hardy - Comment te dire adieu 213 Burgundian court (middle XIV) - Tourdion 214 Carnivale en Coal - Entrez le carnaval 215 Melissa Auf Der Maur - Taste You (French Version) 216 Death In June - C'est Un Rêve 217 Chris Cornell - Cant Change Me (French Version) 218 Cortex - Troupeau bleu 219 Eddie Vartan - Tatoo Strip Tease ** 220 Iggy Pop - Je Sais Que Tu Sais 221 Les Darlings - Le Tourbillon 222 King Diamond - The Trees Have Eyes 223 Joni Mitchell - In France They Kiss On Main Street 224 Lovage - Pit Stop (take me home) (/w Mike Patton) 225 Billy Idol - Eyes Without A Face 226 Mick Harvey - Intoxicated Man 227 Vulcain - Rock 'n Roll Secours 228 Mike Oldfield & Maggie Reilly - To France 229 Serge Gainsbourg - Overseas Telegram 230 Fantomas - Page 25 [34 Frames] 231 Ponctuation - La re´alite´ me suffit 232 Gloria - You had it all ** 233 The Adicts - Viva La Revolution 234 Ataraxie - Dread the Villains 235 The Stranglers - La Folie 236 weird al yankovic - Genius in France 237 Secret Chiefs 3 - La Chanson de Jacky 238 Sonic Youth - French Tickler 239 The Reels - La Mer 240 Fabienne DelSol - Vilaines Filles Mauvais Garcons 241 camera silens - pour la gloire 242 Charles de Goal - exposition 243 City of Lost Children & Angelo Badalamenti - Lexecution (The City of Lost Children OST) 244 Blondie - Sunday Girl 245 Fairport Convention - Si tu dois partir 246 Fantomas - Page 26 [7 Frames] 247 Hippie Hippie Hourrah - Jacques Dutronc 248 Mars Red Sky - Strong Reflection 249 Rita Mitsouko - Cest comme ça 250 Mike Patton, Jean-Claude Vannier Chansons D'Amour 251 The Faces - Ooh La La 252 The Algorithm - Trojans 253 Magma - Da Zeuhl wortz Mekanik 254 Fantomas - Page 27 [15 Frames] 255 Iggy Pop - La Javanaise 256 Brigitte Bardot - Ne Me Laisse Pas L'Aimer 257 Corpus Delicti - Saraband 258 Frank Zappa - In France 259 Frànçois & the Atlas Mountains - La Ve´rite´ 260 Year Of No Light - L'angoisse du veilleur de nuit d'autoroute les soirs d'alarme à accident 261 Pere Ubu - Non-alignment Pact 262 Georgia Satellites - Mon Cheri 263 The Limiñanas - Prisunic 264 Martin Dupont - Inside Out 265 Sanseverino - Mal ô Mains 266 Andre Poppe - La Polka Du Roi 267 The Fixx - Cameras In Paris 268 Regarde Les Hommes Tomber - The Renegade Son 269 Asterix - Intro 270 Michel Magne - Tamouré 271 Maurice Jarre - The Paris Waltz 272 Celeste - Les mains brisées comme leurs souvenirs 273 Fantomas - Page 28 [20 Frames] 274 Fabienne DelSol - Le Roi Des Fourmis 275 Gary McFarland/Gabor Szaro - Simpatico ** 276 Blue Oyster Cult - Les Invisibles 277 Refused - Françafrique 278 Iggy Pop - Les Feuilles Mortes 279 Fabulous Trobadors - Toulouse est sarrazine 280 Loudblast - Manifesto ** 281 Drei Oklok - Les petits vauriens 282 Sektemtum - Aut Caesar Aut Nihil 283 Les Discrets - Virée Nocturne 284 La Femme - Sphynx 285 Elend - Le Dévoreur 286 Daft Punk - Around the world ** 287 KUKL with Bjork - France (A Mutual Thrill) 288 Fantomas - Page 29 [39 Frames] 289 Charlotte Leslie - Les Filles CEst Fait (Pour Faire LAmour) 290 Kreator - Under The Guillotine 291 ABBA - Voulez-Vous 292 Agathe ou Christie - Laume 293 Anna Karina - Rollergirl 294 Diamanda Galás - Sono L'Antichristo 295 Blondie - French Kissin in the USA 296 Pere Ubu - Final Solution 297 Alber Jupiter - Fangs [We Are Just Floating in Space] 298 La Fraction - Aussi Long Sera Le Chemin 299 Nightmare - Prowler in the Night 300 SERGE GAINSBOURG - Aéroplanes 301 Ravel - Arithmétique 302 Temple Of Baal - Dead Cult 303 Volkor X - This Means War 304 Iggy Pop - Les Passantes 305 Fantomas - Page 12 [31 Frames] 306 Anorexia Nervosa - Codex Veritas 307 Gojira - The heaviest matter of the universe 308 Prince - Raspberry Beret 309 Les Rita Mitsouko - Marcia Baila 310 Igorrr - Camel Dancefloor 311 the Conchords - Foux Da Fa Fa 312 Jef Gilson - Enfin *** 313 Burzum - The Portal 314 Misanthrope - Visionnaire 315 April March - Laisse Tomber les Filles 316 The Stranglers - Goodbye Toulouse 317 Magma - De Futura 318 NIGHT - Déliant ses Lacets 319 Jean-Luc Ponty - Sunday Walk ** 320 Perez Prado - Paris 321 Vosegus - Honore les Dieux 322 Les demoiselles de Rochefort - Le pont transbordeur 323 Vladimir Cosma Pebbles and Bubbles 324 Edith Piaf - Sous le ciel de Paris 325 Schizo - Schizo (And the Little Girl) 326 La Toya Jackson, Moulin Rouge Cast - A Paris Les Femmes Ressemblent A Des Fleu 327 Departure Chandelier - Forever Faithful to the Emperor 328 The Liminanas - Migas 2000 329 Adam And The Ants - Young Parisians 330 Asmodée - Black Drop Journey 331 Les joyaux de la princesse - Le petit garçon 332 Melvins - Joan Of Arc 333 H Bomb - Coup De Metal 334 Malicorne - L'écolier assassin 335 Donald Byrd - Parisian Thoroughfare 336 Thin Lizzy - Parisienne Walkways 337 Miles Davis / Art Blakey & The MEssengers - Ascenseur Pour L'Echafaud ** 338 Monarch - A Look At TomorrowMass Death and Destruction 339 Georges Brassens - Les copains d´abord 340 EARTHA KITT - UNDER THE BRIDGES OF PARIS 341 Blaspheme - Vivre libre 342 KaS Product - Sober 343 Mike Patton - Jean Claude Vannier - Corpse Flower 344 Tony Allen - On Fire 345 Funerarium - Prayer For The Dead 346 SVART CROWN - Thermageddon 347 Alan Stivell - Tri Martolod 348 Les Misérables - Le bagne, pitié pitié (French) 349 The Great Old Ones - The Omniscient 350 Henry Mancini - Bateau Mouche 351 Style Counci l - Down In The Seine 352 Begin Says - Arbeit 353 Husker Du - Eiffel Tower High 354 Peter Sarstedt - Where Do You Go To My Lovely 355 Cécilia - Chocolat 356 Cradle of Filth - The Death of Love 357 ZARAH LEANDER - CABARET PARIS 358 David Bowie - Speed of Life 359 Celine Gillain - Fight or Flight 360 Kosmos - Revelations Le Voyage 361 Bernard Parmegiani - Pop Eclectic 362 Dominique Laurent, Pinok Et Matho - L'Appel de la Terre 363 Pharoah Sanders - Love Is Here 364 SLIFT - UMMON 365 HANGMAN'S CHAIR - CUT UP KIDS 366 Les Baxter - The Clown On The Eiffel Tower 367 Throane - Plus Une Main A Mordre 368 John Zorn - Bateau Ivre 369 Mezzanotte - Midnight 370 GONG - You Never Blow Yr Trip Forever 371 Klone - Breach 372 Les Calamités - Toutes les nuits 373 John Cale - Paris 1919 374 Alcest - Là Où Naissent Les Couleurs Nouvelles 375 Heldon - MVC II 376 Aluk Todolo - V 377 Moving Gelatine Plates - Funny Doll 378 Alesia Cosmos - H-Co 379 Caravelli - Metamorphose Demientelle 380 Martial Solal joue Michel Magne - Organique 381 Cerrone - The Real World The Collector 382 The Nathan Davis Quintet - The Hip Walk 383 Fantomas - Page 30 [2 Frames] 384 Monsieur Goraguer - Sexy Dracula (Instrumental) 385 Orquesta De Las Nubes - El Orden Del Azar 386 Francoise Hardy - Tous Les Garcons et Les Filles 387 Pierre Eliane - Isadora Duncan (A Quoi Tu Penses Quand Tu Danses) 388 Rémy Couvez - Rêve de Voyage 389 Rush - Bastille Day 390 Doris Laïze - For Ever 391 Mr Bungle - Carousel 392 Coleman Hawkins - The Hawk in Paris ** 393 VUUR - Reunite! - Paris 394 Guy Lafitte - Jambo! ** 395 Prince - kiss 396 My Dying Bride - De Sade Soliliquoy 397 Francisco Semprun & Michel Christodoulides - Ebullition 398 Hacride - Act Of God 399 Jane Birkin - Lolita Go Home 400 The Doors - End of the Night 401 Bernard Estardy - Cha tatch ka (La Formule du Baron) 402 Ennio Morricone - Peur sur la Ville OST 403 SOGGY - Waiting for the War 404 Birds in a Row - I don't dance 405 Miles Davis - Sur l'autoroute (BOF Ascenseur pour l'échafaud) 406 Michel Legrand - Legrand Jazz ** 407 Anna - Rien rien j'disais ça comme ça 408 VOUS AUTRES - Onde 409 Les Marquisis - Shape the Wheel (feat. Rémy Kapriélan) 410 Iron Maiden - The Longest Day 411 Satan - Toutes Ces Horreurs 412 Jean-Pierre Decerf - Light Flight 413 Delicatessen OST Carlos D'Alessio - Tika Tika Walk 414 Richard Pinhas - Rhizosphere Sequent 415 Hexvessel - Dues to the Dolmen 416 Guy Skornik - Lile de Paques 417 Crown - Illumination 418 Ferat 80 - La Bilan 419 TERRITOIRE- sourd 420 Year of no light - Tocsin 421 Klone - The Dreamer's Hideaway 422 Christophe - Les Mots Blues 423 IGORR - Cheval 424 Me Solar - Qui seme le rent recoltele 425 Pierre Eliane - Ou Que Tu Ailles 426 Lalo Schiffrin - Marquis de Sade ** 427 Les compagnons de la chanson - Bleu, les jours heureux 428 Georges Brassens - La Parapluie ** 429 Albert Marcœur - Appalderie ** 430 Cenotaphe - Entre quatre cierges de cire et de sang ** 431 Jean-Michel Jarre - Oxygene, Pt. 2 ** 432 Heldon - Ouais, marchais, mieux qu'en 68 433 Daft Punk - Get Lucky ** 434 End of Data - Sarah 435 Musique Expérimentale - Volumes 436 Deathspell Omega - Synarchy of moleten bones 437 Serge Gainsbourg - L'hôtel particulier (BOF "Melody Nelson") 438 Magma- Kobaïa 439 Jo Moutet & Strawberrie's Pot - "...comme un pot de fraises 440 Nino Nardini · Roger Roger - Jungle Obsession ** 441 Richard Pinhas - Paris: Beautiful May 442 François Bayle - Jeîta pt.2 443 Deluge - Soufre 444 Trust - Certitude, Solitude 445 Sortilège - La Hargne Des Tordus 446 Macabre - The Black Knight 447 Red Noise - Caka Slow / Vertebrate Twist ** 448 Eider Stellaire - Tetra ** 449 Gojira - Born for one thing ** 450 Jean-Claude Vannier - Chasser La Bête Noire 451 Celtic Frost - Into crypt of rays 452 Hexvessel - Journey to Carnac ** 453 Kraftwerk - Tour de France (Etape 3) 454 IGORR - Au Revoir 455 Megadeth - A Tout le Monde 666 The Pink Panther Theme - Reprise

#french playlist #music from france #France music #vinyl #Paris songs #French musicians #playlist #alcest #gojira #fantomas #heldon #cerrone #henry mancini #bastille day #joan of arc #joan of arc songs #Jean Claude Vannier #French music #richard pinhas

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19mrs-barnes17 · 5 years ago

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Wrong Turn

Summary: You’ve decided to take matters into your own hands by making a plan to prove your innocence on your terms.

Part: 2/3

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: vague PTSD mentions

Word count: 1,441

A/N: Here’s part two, hope you enjoy!

The sizzling of the blade against the shifter's skin won you no favors, all seemed convinced and yet you were sent back to your cell. Not a word spoken about your release. With no clock you were unsure how much time had passed and your mind began to wander, thoughts soon consumed by what had gotten you there in the first place. You had needed to clean up a mess some hunter made, for once the shifter was not a loner and their family was the vengeful sort. The poor idiot never saw the signs, never thought to check the rest of the family and paid the price. The headline was then passed along to you, whose expertise just so happened to be shifters. Well, it was one of your expertise anyhow.

One of your college roommates was killed by a shifter, so you tacked it on to your ever growing list of monsters you had encountered. First it was werewolves, like the one who killed your parents, then shifters, vamps, and so on. The list of monster’s you had spent your life training to kill was fairly standard, but with every personal encounter your knowledge expanded. And with the expansion of your expertise came the spread of your name, you weren’t a Winchester but you were pretty damn close. And it wasn’t long before your paths crossed, the occasional hunt tackled together. You were meant to have moved into their bunker this month, after you finished up the case that is.

How long would it be before they began to suspect something was wrong? And when they tracked you down how would they break you free? Cas probably couldn't even get in. Unless… this place wasn’t warded.

“Castiel, if you can hear me I’m in a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. I don’t know which one specifically, but they picked me up somewhere outside Queens, NY. I need you to help me convince them I was doing the public a service by killing that shifter, because I still have one left before this mess is officially cleaned up.” There was a soft whoosh in the air and you knew your prayer had been heard, but when you turned about you froze.

“How did you manage to get caught?” Those cautious green eyes scanned over you warily and you held out your arm. Dean put your identity through all the tests before he was satisfied with your side of the story, pulling you in for a hug once you were cleared.

“...and they’ve had me ever since.” He parted from you and his eyes immediately began to case the room, eyes landing on the corner camera.

“Well they’ll know you made a run for it, that is if we are making a run for it?” You glanced between him, Cas, and the camera as you weighed the alternative. Leave and deal with the consequences or stay and wait for them to decide if you’re worth letting go.

“They’ll send someone, but perhaps we can make them send a specific person.” Dean nodded along, but wasn’t quite following your thought process. You gave the camera your best smile, well your most sarcastic one. “If you want damn convincing proof, send Steve Rogers to the address on the phone you took from me. Let’s get out of here.”

The bunker was a sight for sore eyes, you had missed the endless halls and the comfort of the full bookshelves lining the walls of the entry room. Running your fingers over the initials carved into the table you sighed, guilt beginning to seep into your skin. A hand slid itself over yours, fingers intertwined with yours.

“Let’s go kick some ass, yeah?”

It seemed surreal that S.H.I.E.L.D. had agreed to the plan you had laid out: bring the Captain and the companion of his choice along on the hunt, show them the truth about monsters, and convince them you are not a threat but an ally. Should the duo find you in the right, S.H.I.E.L.D. would grant you a pardon of sorts and let you go. The case was simple enough, now all you needed to do was get it over with. In and out, simple. But, simple never went smooth when it came to a case.

You weren’t surprised to see the newly reformed best friend of Captain Rogers standing at his side as you entered the building, the motel door softly clicking shut as you smiled awkwardly at the pair. However, Bucky did seem surprised to be there as he shifted his weight from foot to foot and glanced at you with a confused look. A bag of your things was handed over to you, well a bag that held your phone and blade that is. Without missing a beat you handed your phone to Dean who chucked it at the wall while you slid the blade into your boot. The device didn’t shatter on impact.

“What was that for?” The two men were absolutely perplexed by the action and watched as Dean shrugged before grabbing the phone, snapping it, and chucking the pieces in the trash.

“I don’t trust easy.”

“Who is this?” Bucky was growing wary of the situation, eyes watching everyone carefully.

“Right, zero introductions have taken place. This is Dean Winchester, one of the best hunters I know.” Hands were shaken and tension dwindled as you turned to face the super soldiers. “And we all know Steve Rogers, Captain America, and his best friend Bucky Barnes.”

“Please, just call me Steve.”

“Okay pleasantries are out of the way, down to business.”

“Already ahead of you, Pizza is on its way.”

“When did you order a pizza?” He smirked and mumbled something about ‘having his ways’. “It was while I went with Cas for the files.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” You tossed a pillow at him, which he caught, before he tossed you the keys. “The rest are in the trunk.”

“Where’s Baby parked?” He motioned the direction with his thumb, distracted by the file in front of him. His eyes never left the pages even as you placed a kiss to his cheek and walked out the door.

“Baby?” Dean didn’t even look up, he was doing his best to focus on the facts laid out before him. "You named your car Baby?"

"She's a classic '67 Chevy Impala, what kind of car do you drive?" Just as Bucky was about to retort you waltzed back in with two boxes.

You sat in one of the beds compiling your notes on your laptop, fingers skimming through the pages within the folder quickly. Steve and Bucky glanced over files once you and Dean had passed them over, the hope was that their eyes would spot something your tired but trained eyes overlooked.

"How did you catch the mom?" Dean tossed the file in his hand onto the counter before falling into bed beside you.

"Though she was grown and careful, but she had habits. Faces that she particularly favored, always dark haired women. When Todd killed her husband, but left her and the kid she figured she was safe. That's when she started to use some of her old looks. I had Sam hook up an algorithm to search for her old faces the moment I learned of her partiality. She fell for the trap of false safety." You could feel eyes on you and you didn't appreciate the judgment in them.

"Well the kid won't fall for that, not if he's got any sense. Where was he last seen?" You handed him your laptop, hands rummaging through the box at the end of the bed.

"Hey check this out. Says here that they had a cabin in their name." Steve piped up from the table and nearly scared the life out of you. When your eyes fell on the piece of paper your heart dropped, knees buckling.

"Woah there, it's alright I got you. What's the-" After his eyes fell on the paper he froze, heart dropping into his stomach. "You don't have to go there. Not ever again."

"What's happening? How do you know the place?" Dean helped you find your footing, his arms holding you upright.

"From a nightmare." Your voice was shaky as you excused yourself, walking out the door into the cool night.

"Hello." You jumped in your skin at the sound of the voice next to you, its sound unfamiliar yet it sent a chill down your spine. "I think it's time you and I have a little chat."

Tags: @qtmeryr @broken-hearted-barnes @asphalt-cocktail @gstran18 @cantnkrusshedevil @xoxoaudreymarie @royal-sunflower @greenarrowhead @rando10k

#supernatural #marvel #SuperMarvel crossover #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes

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stinkyratshadowgod · 4 years ago

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Crazy Storyline Apex Theory

(P.s: I’m reposting because Tumblr F*CKING ate my first post)

Okay in the trailer for the new event “Lost Treasures”, we see at the end that in Mila (in some way) spoke to Crypto through his drone, saying “Tae, it’s me. Be carefull! they’re watching you”. Naturally i was going to joke “Haha Mila is going to be the next Apex Legends next season lmao”. But then i stopped and thought more about it, and instead of making a joke, i decided to write a theory about why is that plausible and it’s going to be the next storyline (or maybe...this storyline)

Okay what do we know about Mila? Not much actually, she and Tae found a prediction algorithm that is directly related to the Apex Games (but we don’t know who made that and the real purpose), and then she saves it in a pen drive, leaves and is found “dead” next morning, with her brother being blamed as the killer

I know that this isn’t a lot to work with, but i think it’s enough to cook something. The name of my plate (aka theory) is “Apex is going to pull up a Winter Soldier and make Mila a brainwashed soldier (or expert Hacker) from Hammond”. You better enjoy it while it is still hot

1-Mila is still alive

Ok so why do i believe that? It’s because i believe that Mila is actually alive (even tho it’s a schrodinger cat paradox situation because shes alive and dead at the same at, and we will only know the real result when Respawn pulls her out of the “box”).

My evidences is that 1-The new trailer (lol) and 2-Shes actually pretty usefull: Shes a hacker, a good one, she was the one (with the help of Tae) to unlock the prediction programm, and she developed the system that unlock it (or at least had the knowledge that the system she found online would help unlock the algorithm). And because shes connected to the biggest hacker of the outlands, so perhaps they are going to use her to blackmail Crypto to stop going after the truth.

Respawn never explained how the brothers found the algorithm, but whatever the case is, if the sindicate would go out of their way to “eliminate” Mila and then go after her brother (but we know that this time they wanted for real kill Crypto) that must mean that the prediction algorithm must be really important, and we know why:

2-Season 4 (and the Override event)

Hammond had great interest in the Apex Games in the start of Season 4, and so they made a deal with the AG, and so Hammod brought us 1-Revenant (the best decision ever i love him but i better stop or else i will write a full essay on why i love Rev); 2-The evo shield (at least i headcannon that the evo shields are a Hammond creation in order to please the Legends), but in return they would build the planet harvester and do some promotion...it’s just me that thinks that a big company especialized in robotics (and titans) would only bring a harvester and do a propaganda to show that their hip and cool?

Even the harvester is a little weird, because: 1-The Apex Games takes ages after Titanfall 2 campaign (10 years i belive), and the war is over, so the need of building Titans wouldn’t be very necessary, yeah they can be used as heavy machinery in hazardous jobs, but the main use of the titans was military, and they already use MRVNS units to replace humans. I know that building robots and guns requires a lot of materials, but the harvester seems like a little bit of a overkill, also are we even sure that they are collecting materials for the robots? (which brings me to my next point)

2-What the heck is the planet harvester even harvesting? By the looks of the big lazer, it looks like they are actually harvesting the core of the world edge’s planet (idk if it’s also sucking materials for robots and guns, but you never see pieces of scraps flying up with the lazer, and we don’t see a storage thing to store the minerals)

I believe the real reason that Hammond is so interested in the Apex Games is actually because of 2 mf’s: 1-Revenant (since he was killing all the Hammonds workers and those connected to the simulacrum project) and 2-Crypto, since hes the one going after their tail, and Hammond knows that Crypto has the actual powers to be a real problem to them, so they partner up with the Apex Games just to keep a closer eye to Tae Joon (and Revenant but who can blame them Rev is a real eye treat).

(Side point: While i was writting this theory, i remembered a critical point of the Override event...the rewards, the rewards you got when you gained points, and in the points reward’s menu, we see this:

At first we thought this was Rev doing, but when you think about, it doesn’t make a lot of sense since Revenant doesn’t give a crap about helping people, he just wants to kill (go you, you funky lil robot), and when you think more about it, hes couldn’t pull that off since hes not a computer specialist. The only character that could this is Crypto, but Tae A)Already knows that Hammond cannot be trusted or B)He coudn’t have predicted the partnership. My point is, Crypto also didn’t left the message (cuz it would be weird leaving a message about something that seems obivious to yourself). So the only one remaining is...Mila Mila is somewhere in the Outlands (maybe she escaped or she sneakily sended the message through the place she is being held) sending messages to Crypto.

2.5-The bunkers

You know whats weirder than The Planet Harvester? The underground holes (bunker? vaults? Its hard to use these words since they’re already taken) introduced in Season 5. In the trailer they looked like bunkers that you could open at any moment (like a trapdoor). In the release of season 5 the first thing i saw youtubers do is try to open the bunkers, they failed, and then they tried to use Loba (and they would usually fail and fall to their death, which was funny content). So i thought “Okay, maybe it’s going to be like Fortnite and with each week they are going to open one by one (and yes i play Fortnite casually, it’s actually a great and fun game), and nothing. So i ask “What is the purpose of those trapdoors?”

In the trailer of the new event, after Mila talked with Crypto through the Drone, it showed us a underground bunker opening, perhaps it’s Mila, or at least a secret base that Mila used to send Crypto the messages to warn him about Hammond. Whatever the case is, i strongly believe thats it’s going to be something related to Mila

3-The artifact and the “broken ghost”

The name “broken ghost” is actually a weird name for something that has something to with Loba, sure you can say “It actually refers to something that is going to be used against Revenant” or “It’s actually something that we are going to use to bring back Ash from the Titanfall 2 campaign” and while yes that can be the case (especially the Ash theory) i actually believe that what we’re building is a universal locator, a locator used to locate everything and everyone in the outlands. You may be asking “...okay...why?” And i tell you: “The legends don’t live together”

On what i mean by that: In a tweet sended by Tom Casiello, he told us that the legends don’t live in the dropship or in a big house like housemates (even tho i decided that in my heart they are one big family of friends living together in a mansion, with each one of them having a room with their themes). And in the Chapter 4 of the storyline, it’s revealed that Bangalore and Lifeline live in diferent houses.

Where i am going with this is: Crypto is still living like a nomad, always running (and he even says in one of the elimination lines [“Sometimes you get tired of running, I understand, but you can't ever stop."], thus showing that even in the Apex games, hes running from the sindicate, the people who got his sister and now is after him, but as we can see, they still didn’t got him. Hammond could be building a robot (since the artifact [currently] looks like a skull, which spookes me a lil bit) that could pinpoint the exact location of Crypto and finally capture him.

Now for the most bonker part of this theory: They brainwashed Mila and turned her into a winter soldier

As i already said, Mila is actually pretty useful, not only because of her smarts, but because of the advantage that using someone that Crypto is closely familiar with could bring his downfall. So heres what i concluding: Mila gets brainwashed by Hammond in order to have someone to be a strong match against the best hacker of all the outlands and get rid of a big threat.

You may be asking “How?” and for that, i call my favorite boy:

4-Revenant (also yes this is a excuse to talk more about my main)

Rev doesn’t need a introduction, but heres one anyway: He was a hitman that at some point has died, so Hammond used his still somewhat salvageable brain to put it in a Simulacrum (in which i headcannon that at the same time they were also experimenting with some supernatural elements, but thats a theory for another day). after 200 years, during a hitjob he found out about who he really was and now here we are...do i need to say more?...really? Okay then: Hammond showed that they can brainwash simulacrums for an extensive period of time (200+ years i believe) in order to make them believe that they are actually human (even tho climbing a 15 store building, turning into a shadow and stabbing people with hands isn’t very...human). So in Rev backstory (and in the simulacrum lore) Hammond shows that they have the capacity to brainwash brains since the simulacrums are in a way cyborgs, being 99% robot and 1% human (that would be the brain btw). So using these techniques on a human would be very easy (i think?, i don’t know a lot of Simulacrums cuz they’re not real)

5-”THE broken ghost”

I want to touch upon is the name “The Broken Ghost”, i know that people believe that it’s actually Ash from Titanfall 2 (because spoilers she died), but don’t you think it’s weird that even 10 years after the main campaign, they couldn’t bring Ash back? I know that Simulacrums are diferent from robots, but couldn’t they just repaired Ash? And to answer myself: No. You see Simulacrums have an internal brain that is used to datastore information, but Rev is a special boy cuz hes handsome and his storage system is external, so in another words, when she died in the explosion caused by when a Titan is destroyed (or worse if you did an execution on her), her brain was destroyed, thus meaning that there is absolutely no way to bring her back. And yes, i just debunked the theories about how Ash is actually the broken ghost. Speaking of ghosts, that brings me on another point

6-Revenants and Ghosts

I wanna talk briefly about real life urban legends. First the Revenant myth is that a phisical deceased person who returns from the dead with an eternal rage for revenge, they are strong, smart and imortal, only leaving the world of the living when his thirst of revenge is sated (which fits very well for our baby boy Rev from Apex Legends)

And the Ghost is a spiritual deceased person who starts haunting the world of the living, sending chills down the spines of those who looks at them.

While yes their backstories are similar, their main diferences is that Revenants are corporial, and ghosts are spiritual, aka, Ghosts have the ability to dissapear and make people wonder if what they saw was real or not. Sounds familiar? If not, let me spell out for you: Mila. In the Crypto’s backstory, she suddenly dissapeared from Tae’s life, even in a surreal way since his life suddenly came crashing down overnight. And even better: If she was truly the broken ghost and got introduced in the Apex Games next season, that would really mess with Crypto’s brain, cuz his paranoia would make him wonder if his sister was back for real or not.

7-”Hold up”

-Said the handsome reader, scratching their brain (and yes i write fanfics)-”What does that mean for the future of Apex Legends and the storyline?”. I look at them, with the fire of knowledge burning through my eyes-“Let me tell you about the Winter Soldier movie from Marvel”

One key element from the Winter Soldier is that he was being brainwashed by Hidra (a Marvel version of the Nazis) and Bucky Barnes would transform into a emotionless killing machine, ready to kill the next target or those who got in his/Hidra’s way. But one thing that would turn him back into a normal human is his best friend Captain America, that through his pursue and persistence, by the end of the movies he saves Bucky from the brainwash trance and later movies he becomes Captain’s ally (and my OTP don’t @ me)

So if everything i talked about here is correct, heres what i think it’s going to happen: By the end of the storyline, it’s going to be revealed that Mila is alive, but she has been brainwashed by Hammond to kill Crypto. Even tho hes the main target and it would go against his better judgement, hes going to try save Mila from the brainwash trance, and not only that, hes going to use the help of Mirage. “Mirage?”-Asked the reader-”What the heck does Mirage have to do with an complicated story about family reunion, betrayl, saving someone from brainwash and fighting against a evil corporation?” and for that, i call Tom Casiello yet again (and a piece of Tae’s past):

8-Mirage, Casiello and a letter

In a early Season 5 tweet, Casiello confirmed that Mirage and Crypto’s story is far from done, and they would have many misadventures together, and while everybody (myself included) read it as Cryptage fuel, now i can confirm that Crypto is going to need Mirage’s help to make Mila remember who she was. You ask again ”But why Mirage?”, well, while i was researching Crypto’s page on the wiki, i found a peculiar letter that he sent for someone: “[Mystik -- I survived my first match, with only two broken ribs. Being as safe as I can, and keeping my distance. Unfortunately, the others are already asking about the Tower. The one Legend you love confronted me on the dropship. I thought he had evidence, but it turns out he’s just an idiot.There are two others here who are BIG guys. Like your son. Very intimidating. I’m sure one’s a sociopath, but I may have judged the other too soon. His name is Makoa Gibraltar, and he’s here to help Legends survive. I always chalked the Games up to neanderthals trying to prove something. Turns out some of them have a strong code of ethics. Ironically, the only neanderthal I’ve met trying to prove something… is me. Burn this letter as soon as you receive it. Will write when I can. Family forever. --TJP]” (https://apexlegends.gamepedia.com/Crypto)

Now you’re wondering “what the heck is that letter? Who is “Mystik” ”, and according to the wiki, Mystik is Crypto and Mila’s former caretakers at Ticacek Orphanage in Suotamo, aka the closest person they had to a parent. And in the letter, Crypto knows that Mirage is Mystik’s favorite legends, showing that him, Mila and their caretaker watched the Apex Games together

Thats where Mirage comes in: Crypto is going to use Mirage’s handsome and familiar face to remind Winter Soldier Mila the past, and then try to deactivate the brainwash (and headcannon, we are going to visit Angel City (the place where Mila and Tae used to live together) and collect parts of Crypto’s past and then bring it back to try make Mila remember who she was, but the FBI and Hammond is going to stop the legends)

Oh, and before you leave, ask yourself this: “How can a ghost get broken?”, now, instead of trying to find an answer, i’ll be kind enough to respond it to you (you’re welcome ;) ): Mila is the ghost that Hammond broke and put it together into Winter Soldier Mila, and then Crypto is going to have to break the ghost again to put back the right pieces

(I wanna thank everybody that somehow read everything, i do apologize if broke my english in some parts, it’s not my first language, also i would appreciate if yall could share my theory. It’s because i worked so hard on it, and it’s probably only going to receive like 10 likes and 3 reblogs. Also if you have a piece of information that could be considered important for my theory, please do let me know)

part 2 here

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cindylouwho-2 · 4 years ago

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RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, July 19 2020

Welcome to my latest summary of recent ecommerce news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & Etsy! This covers articles, podcasts, videos and infographics I came across since the late June report, although some may be older than that.

I‘m still working on Etsy search testing and a few new blog posts and pages for my website, so it is still difficult for me to get this summary out more than 1-2 times a month. All suggestions on solutions to my time crunch are welcome.

If you have an questions, comments or suggestions about my Tumblr or my blog, please contact me here or on my website. I’d love to know what you think!

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Latest change from Google: the free Google Shopping listings will now show up in US organic search as part of product knowledge panels. Unfortunately, since they are only doing this for product knowledge panels to begin with, it likely won't help handmade sellers, but could be useful to sellers of vintage & supply items that are known products that will have a knowledge panel. It may be a sign that they are planning on moving free ads to more Google "surfaces" over time, however. Note that it appears that all product knowledge panel ads will be free starting this summer (US only), so that means that any Etsy paid ads for these types of items will become free ads that you won't have to pay EOA fees on if you get a sale. Google claims the free ads are bringing more searcher engagement to Shopping.

Amazon announced they will begin to show US sellers’ business name and address on the Seller Profile page as of September 1. The same requirement already exists in Europe, Japan and Mexico.

The USPS will no longer be delivering mail as promptly every day, to cut costs. This potentially affects anyone shipping to a destination in the United States.

How 7 different companies grew profits during the last recession - there will still be business opportunities during the upcoming recession, but you have to be positioned to take them.

ETSY NEWS

Etsy Labels no longer offer USPS international shipping options for all packages under 4.4 pounds other than Canadian orders, replacing them with the Global Postal Shipping Program (GPSP). Many US sellers dislike the GPSP, and have moved on to outside providers that integrate with an Etsy shop and other services, such as Pirate Ship, Shippo, Stamps, and Shipstation.

The quarterly category & attributes updates are limited to face mask & hand sanitizer attributes for July. Etsy also made some other minor updates recently, including allowing us to set a message auto reply for up to 5 days.

You may have noticed that Etsy is really pushing Etsy Ads on sellers right now, despite the numerous complaints about the average cost per click becoming far too high last year. I’ve turned mine off permanently, but if you are interested in trying them or fine-tuning them, Etsy released an article and a related podcast with a transcript.

Louisiana and Mississippi have been added to the list of states that Etsy collects sales tax from.

Etsy raised fees on Reverb to 5%, “to make further investments on behalf of our sellers.”

Etsy will release the second quarter results on August 5. We already know that April and May were record-setting, and June was also probably pretty good.

The site has continued to receive decent media coverage for the mask initiative; Etsy is mentioned in several articles/broadcasts a day as a place to get masks, including stylish ones. This article briefly interviews a seller and looks at what Etsy will do next, as the mask demand peak might be over.

Now that people think of Etsy for things like face masks, Etsy is continuing to market itself as a place to buy everyday items, something it shied away from for a few years. (Remember when Etsy was all about “owning special”?) They’ve added “Everyday Finds” links & Editors Picks pages, and have published tips on what pandemic shoppers are looking for. (Note that the year over year values compare this April to last April, and so were during peak lockdown for the US.) “Keeping surfaces clean is top of mind these days, and shoppers are searching on Etsy for many types of cleaners, from all-purpose scrubs to washable sponges...134% YoY increase in searches on Etsy containing “ceramic sponge holder.”...”74% YoY increase in searches on Etsy containing “mug”...”352% YoY increase in searches on Etsy containing “diy”.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but this page on the search and ads algorithms appears to be relatively new.

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

The sea change in online buyer behaviour during the pandemic may mean that you need to update your keyword research. Keyword volumes have changed, some very dramatically. For example “‘adult bikes’ shows a massive upturn.This represents over ten times as many searches for this term compared to just under a year ago. If you projected this back in 2019 you’d probably be laughed at.”

Speaking of keyword research, if you need a refresher on why you should do it and how to approach it, here is a recent article.

There are many different ways to get backlinks; here are a few that are pretty easy [video & text].

Are longer blog posts better for SEO? Not necessarily, as long as you cover the topic well. The exception is that blog posts under 300 words are usually not worth writing.

Most SEOs think there was an unannounced Google update around the third week of June. Some are reporting that sites that specialize made gains, as opposed to those who have more general material. That same study reports Etsy had one of the largest traffic increases, but not as much as Pinterest (I’ve been seeing a lot more pins when Googling lately, so this seems likely.) Government websites also seem to have received better visibility. “As Google has described in their document on how they fight disinformation, they describe that their systems are designed to prefer authority over other factors “in times of crisis”. If this truly is related to what we saw happen in June, these changes could possibly be reversed once the worldwide pandemic situation improves.”

Bing released a few basic tips on how to use its keyword planner.

(CONTENT) MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

TikTok has moved out of Hong Kong, while the US government may be looking at banning them, following India’s move on July 6. With TikTok in peril, many people are now downloading its competitor Byte.

If you use Facebook for your business, please read up on the changes required to comply with California’s new privacy law.

Instagram is now testing an Instagram Shop tab, which allows users to filter by category.

Twitter is planning on starting a subscription service, but deleted some of the details from the job listing just hours later.

One of the results of the big Twitter hack on July 15th was Google removing the Twitter carousel from its search results.

Pinterest searches involving Christmas started way earlier this year, with a 77% increase YOY in April. “That includes a 3x increase in searches for “Christmas gift ideas”, while other queries like “holiday recipes” and “Christmas” were up more than 90% and 80% respectively.” These are good stats for marketers to have, helping us decide when to release and promote new products.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Spending too much on Facebook ads? Here are some common mistakes and some suggestions on fixing them.

If you already know that ROAS stands for “return on ad spend” then some of this article may be old news to you.

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

If you are using Google Shopping with your website, be aware that the Google bots may be inflating your abandoned cart rate.

Google Analytics can help you track the effects of changes to your website, or other business conditions. You can also get alerts when certain types of events happen, or when traffic is abnormal.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

Walmart is expected to launch Walmart+, similar to Amazon Prime, this month. But note that while many brick & mortar businesses are now doing a lot more business online, it is more expensive for them.

For those of you who use Stitch Labs, they have been purchased by Square, and the existing services will likely be cut in 2021.

Deja vu for Etsy sellers - eBay was apparently offering incentive payments for signing up for their new Managed Payments system by mid-July. (Etsy did the same with its Etsy Payments system, but only for Americans.)

Is Amazon Handmade as good for small makers as it claims? Maybe not. If you sell on Amazon, consider these strategies to protect your core business from being swamped by the big A.

Wix has introduced an ecommerce version with a lot more options and integrations.

Shopify’s new “Shop” app has some good features but also some issues. [podcast & edited transcript]

BigCommerce filed to go public, and added Ayden as a payment option. More details on the Ayden move here.

Did you know there are sites you can use to sell your ecommerce business? Here are 10 of them.

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

US ecommerce sales are now expected to grow 18% this year, while overall retail is predicted to be down 10.5%. “In a pandemic economy, consumers have gravitated toward trusted and reliable retailers. As a result, we can expect the top 10 ecommerce retail businesses to grow at above average rates (21.8%). Amazon will gain US ecommerce market share this year, while Walmart's accelerating ecommerce growth will take it to the No. 2 position for the first time.”

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a factor you can use to drive sales; here are 6 tips.

Generation Z is acutely attached to internet use, and is more likely to be planning on starting their own business than any other generation.

MISCELLANEOUS

It’s possible that the increase in people working from home will lead to more work hours and therefore more burnout.

#search engine optimization #etsynews #content marketing #smallbiz #ecommerce

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 years ago

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Questione...

Possibly just shouting out into the void, but wondering if anyone has some information on a game...

The game pieces are hexagons with two differently colored sides, and three numbers in sections on them. It’s a two player game (each player being one color), and the point is to try to put down your piece in a place that will flip as much of the board as possible to your color, based on what number is largest on the sides that are touching each other. Your goal is to have the majority of the board in your color at the end of the game (when all pieces are used up). You can also see the pieces your partner has, so part of the strategy is also predicting their moves/ basing yours on what they have to put down (like which side of the hexagon their largest numbers are on, etc.).... An example move looks like this image below (with Purple vs. Blue being the colors)

I was introduced to this playing a game on kongregate, called The End (link here even though the game itself doesn’t seem to work anymore and the official site for the game doesn’t either so idk), BUT this is not the main point of the game, it was just a mini-game inside the main game. I liked the mini-game so much I made my own version with pieces of cardboard, to have one I could play with others not solely within the kongregate game, but the nature of the game just seems like...something that there’d be a version of somewhere else?

I’ve tried googling like ‘hexagon numbers game’ ‘number tile flip game’, etc. and looked up the company that made the game as well, but as far as I’ve seen they don’t list much about it (this is just one tiny mini game within a tiny game out of many others I think are more popular) or etc., though there are some images of game development that make it seem like they created the concept themselves, they could have been inspired by something. Either way, this just seems like too enjoyable and cool of a game to be lost forever as merely a tiny mini-game hidden within a long abandoned flash game!!

---- So, my main question: Is anyone aware of anything similar to this?? Is this an actual game somewhere, that could be purchased as a boardgame or something?? If the game creators took inspiration from somewhere, is there a known game it’s based off of? OR, even if it is wholly their creation, is there at least anything else out there that operates very similarly?

Additional info (images and the videos I could find of gameplay) under the read more for extra details on how it works..

----------------------

Here’s a screencap of the actual game from some youtube video i found

And see there’s also some powers you can use to make the game more interesting, like for example a ‘+2′ power would allow you to add 2 points to one single side of your hexagon- so if you had a 6, you could make it an 8 and maybe then overcome your opponent’s 7 on that side, etc. (though you’re limited in how many you can use, obviously. The strategy is also picking the right ones). There are many of these, and I unfortunately don’t remember what they all are, so I can’t incorporate them into my handmade cardboard version T u T ;; , but they also added a neat twist !

Here’s a video I found of like, actual official gameplay, it’s from the people who made the game so it shows in good detail how the game actually works:

https://vimeo.com/23525726

and then here’s there website or like, something where they wrote stuff about the game -

https://preloaded.com/work/channel-4-education-end/

'The End’ was primarily like, just a usual jumpy puzzle platformer sort of game, the ‘death cards’ section was only a side-thing you did at the end of levels, if I remember correctly. Though for me I basically ONLY played the main game to earn additional powers (like the +2 bonus) for the side game, and pretty much spent all my time playing that instead gghg

But like.. LOOK at the gameplay!!... it’s just.. fun..I like the little strategies of going into corners or playing in a way where you try to trap pieces of your own color in places they can’t be turned or accessed by the opponent, and like how you can look at their numbers and predict their moves or etc. Idk it’s like one of those things where it still requires you to pay some amount of attention to what you’re doing, however it’s still casual and easy enough that you rarely have to sit down and intensely focus so it can kind of fill this tiny “Vaguely Occasionally Challenging But Primarily Just Relaxed And Fun” niche where it’s so enjoyable to just hang out and mindlessly play 10 rounds or so every once and a while when you have 30 minutes to waste or whatever..

So like idk,, I hope it’s an actual thing somewhere else???

Whenever I google anything like ‘hexagon number game’ or even specific stuff like ‘flip tile two player hexagon boardgame’ or ‘different color shape flip number game’ or ‘tile number game’, ‘ tile number game flip tile’ etc. It’s only ever stuff like this (or math learning games, or some weird rummy game) that comes up -

which from what I’ve seen, is not really the sort of thing that I’m looking for at all. I want something where you compare multiple numbers of one tile based on it’s placement on the board, flip tiles or something similar in order to win, basically the same mechanics/premise as ‘death cards’ etc.

It could very likely be that the people who made The End just made this from scratch with no inspiration and there’s like...not anything even remotely similar around, which would be unfortunate (since I’ll just have to stick to my cardboard version then lmao) , but I thought I could check with the masses first perhaps, since looking on my own for a little while I couldn’t find much.

Admittedly, I only looked for like 45 minutes or so but idk, usually if you can’t even find a hint of what you’re looking for after searching google for even 20 minutes then you’re either using wildly incorrect search terms (which maybe people could give me leads on better terms to search instead) or the thing you’re looking for is pretty obscure (in which case maybe someone out there still knows about it) so, idk.

I would just feel really bad for a premise that is really cool to die as only ever having been a mini game in some random browser game about philosophy or whatever. I would think maybe at some point the game-creators would release it on it’s own as a separate thing or something, but the game has been inactive for a while and whatever’s going on with it, I don’t think anyone seems to care that much, or is really rallying to bring it back or anything.

But anyway, I would just like to play this game in a more official way, somehow, if it actually exists somewhere?

Particularly due to the issue of game balance. In my handmade versions (since first drafting this post, I now have like 3 of them, experimenting with different tile shapes and amounts of tiles lol,, lov to become preoccupied with random concepts and spend hours making tiles out of cardboard), there’s really no way to completely ensure that there isn’t an element of luck involved.

Part of the reason I like some strategy games is that they can feel more like each person is starting out on a level playing field, and it’s all about just utilizing tools the right way, or what you can think about and come up with. You ‘’win’’ more by skill than just random chance. But with this being a numbers based game, inevitably, to some degree, a player with higher numbered pieces is more likely to win, which when the pieces are drawn randomly, is hard to control for.

In my cardboard versions, I handled this by making different colored marks on the center of the pieces, green for very good, purple for in the middle, and I think red for pieces that have mostly low numbers (which is based on what all the numbers add up to, like if all three numbers on a tile are over 22 (meaning there must at least be some 10s/9s/8s), they’re green, if they’re from 21 - 10 they’re purple, under 10 they’re red, etc. etc. Something like that, I don’t remember the exact numbers I used). Then each player gets a set amount of greens, reds, and purples, so each person will have an equal amount of good/bad/etc. pieces. But even this, I don’t feel is precise enough and am still concerned about it influencing the game results.

For the digital version, I’d guess there’s probably some sort of algorithm or something that like.. generates the numbers of the pieces in a way where each players pieces add up to a certain number, or something like that, so that one player can’t end up with ALL 10s (highest number in the game) on all sides of their hexagons, and the other has none. Obviously there will always be SOME element of chance, but I don’t know if it’s COMPLETELY randomized, as they must have done something to make it more even, I would imagine???

So, this is a main reason I’d like a more official version, if I could like.. buy a board-game that’s already been balanced for me, or play an online version of basically the same game etc. etc.

(Though if any of the 3 of you who have actually read this far have any advice on how to better balance my cardboard versions, please let me know! There may be a better solution than color coding into categories lol)

(ALSO it may be hard to imagine or boring looking if you’ve just watched videos of it and have never played but, hHH, trust me that it’s really cool! It’s one of my favorite games but, obviously it being relatively obscure and the main game it was attached to being now nonexistent, nobody is ever excited about the concept as much as I am lol... just try.. to imagine... )

ANYWAY!!!!... I just... really like this game for some reason and in my quest to find an actual version of it or something, now amplified by the fact that the actual game seems to not work anymore, I thought.. berhaps... other people in the general public would have suggestions or know of similar games (like with flipping tiles based on number calculation)???? sir, may I have some flipping hexagons based on number comparisons? please sir, some coloured hexagons flipped based on numbers?? sOME NUMBERED HEXAGON TILES ON A BOARdggh hvhjflkfnkelnhekltnhlnklkl kh iohnkl k;m klm klm

#completely random out of nowhere post but #I don't know how else to Reach The Public ghghjg #long post #one of the many many posts that's been in my drafts for over a year or two gghhhj

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marvelmymarvel · 5 years ago

Note

Hi just submitted a request and also I was just wondering if you have any tips for new writers on starting a blog and such?

Hello!! I got your request and I am excited to write it! It's very specific and if that means your 20th birthday is coming up then HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Now for the tips... (Aka things I wish I knew before starting this blog!)

Long post ahead so read if you want to know how I set up my stuff and some advice for beginning a writing blog <3

Story Setup and Ideas:

When starting a writing blog, begin writing for one fandom that you are truly passionate about. For me, it was Band of Brothers at the time which is why my blog is heavy with it. Now, I am a multi-fandom blog and knew I would be when I began and if you would like to be multi one day as well don't be afraid of starting small. It's best to start small and with one fandom so you don't feel overwhelmed.

Now that you have your one fandom, find your favorite character or characters and write!! Heres how I write a story:

Figure out the idea, this can come from a moment with a friend, something I saw, or a song I heard. Once this idea is in your head write it down!! I have papers full of ideas and when I get in the mood I will refer back to them.

Figure out the pairing. This should come with the first part but sometimes I don't know exactly WHO I want it to about so play around with the scenes in your head. Who is the reader kissing? Who fits with this song?? Who would fit the feel of this scene? Those are some of the questions I ask myself if I don't know a pairing.

Set up the post. This is something I wish I did in the first part of my blog as it took a long time to fix every post so they look the same. Heres how I have them set up and feel free to use or take from this setup for yourself <3. With the Text Post option:

Title

Pairing (Bolded and with the header size)

Synopsis: It was a rainy day in the park but he kept her warm inside.

Trigger Warnings: Blood (This isn’t needed if you have no warnings but you can have it anyway and just put none)

Song: Song Title - Artist (Link: ---------) (Again, not needed unless you have a song that you wish for people to listen to)

A/n: (Finally the authors note, again, it's not needed but I like to talk a lot lol)

Gif/Banner/Etc (Heres where I add a gif of the character I’m writing for or something else that kicks off the story and drags people in. If it's not your gif, either credit the owner if you can find them or simply say its not your gif. I just now began doing this as I have a lot of gifs that I obviously didn’t create and I want to credit them)

Story (Here I like to put a keep reading after a paragraph that is sure to bring a reader in. Your goal is to make them click that ‘keep reading’ option)

Tags: (If you have people that want to be tagged, add them here)

Hashtags: #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky Barnes imagine #bucky Barnes imagines (Basically for your hashtags at the end, make as many as you can but do not, I repeat DO NOT tag a character that is not important. For instance, if you are writing a story for bucky x reader and the reader has no important ties to steve do not include him. If there was a love triangle in which a reader will read both, then it is alright. Don't clickbait, that's all we ask ;) Adding to that, go ahead and just tag the character itself as well as the fandom!!)

That's how I set up my stories but I would like to let all the baby blogs know that Tumblr has this weird thing called an algorithm, and it sucks. You will not see your post show up on any of those tags for at least 48 hours. Once you post multiple things to that tag or they have ruled that you are not a bot then your stuff will show up. This was a stressor so I hope this knowledge calms you down :)

If you have a hard time with scenarios, ask for ideas!!!

Make rules if you are accepting ideas and don’t be afraid to turn down requests you don’t like/feel comfortable with. It will not alert the user that you deleted their ask so do not feel bad!

Stick to your rules and make sure your blog is a healthy and safe environment.

Once you are ready to move on to more fandoms, go ahead and try it out. If it becomes too much cut it back down. Also, don't be afraid to move away from the fandom you started in. Sadly, I am not as ‘intrigued’ with BOB like I once was. That doesn't mean you won't occasionally write for your beginning fandom but tastes change.

Do what makes YOU happy.

MENTAL HEALTH SECTION:

Because mental health is real and I want all of my baby blogs to be happy, I’m going to let you know some tips and tricks to stay calm.

Remember, this is a blog and you are able to step away for as long as you need if things get stressful.

Remember that the faithful and caring followers will stick around and support you no matter what. You aren’t alone and you don’t owe anyone anything.

I have like 5 requests in my inbox and I know that those who requested know I will get to it but if I don't, I don't. They will not attack me.

Any follower who attacks you should be reported and blocked immediately. Never let someone make you feel trapped.

When you feel burned out (we have all been there and I still am) do not push yourself. If you are only able to do one story a month then that's okay. Even one story a year is alright, just don't feel like you have to deliver. Your personal life and wellbeing come first.

If you feel like one of your stories is shit, know that you are putting yourself down and do not delete it. I have one story that has 0 likes and never has that ever happened to me, but I refuse to take it down because I like it.

Writing should be your escape, not your jail cell. (Something I had to tell myself a lot last year and I wish someone told me)

If you feel stressed and want your followers to know that you’re doing alright just need some time then post a lovely message to your Tumblr and call it good. Most likely, you’ll get messages and comments hoping that you feel better, those are the best followers.

Personal Safety Section:

So my moms a correctional nurse (Aka a nurse at a jail) and she is very protective of me being on the internet. That being said here are some tips I have for you to be safe (Again feel free to ignore some or agree to all, these are just my beliefs and I do not shame anyone who doesn't follow them!):

DO NOT GIVE OUT YOUR REAL NAME UNLESS YOU KNOW YOU CAN TRUST SOMEONE. The name I have on my blog is VERY similar to my real name but for safety reasons, I don't go by my real name. Only like 2 followers know my real name and even then it took a while before I said it.

DO NOT POST A PICTURE OF YOURSELF: God I sound like a boomer, but really you shouldn’t just up and post a picture of yourself unless you really want to. I have thought about posting a pic but thought “Yeah no...”

DO NOT GIVE OUT YOUR ADDRESS/CITY/STATE: I have only ever said on my blog that I am in the midwest of the US, but that's it. Never ever give anyone your address/city or your state.

DO NOT GIVE OUT OTHER INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF: This can include your school, age (if below 18 because of predators), phone number (unless a friend that you trust), etc.

BE CAREFUL. When someone messages you, don't be afraid to chat but if things feel fishy stop responding and block the person.

Okay, my mother side is done ranting... Just be careful kiddos. As a certified adult, I can say that the internet is scary and that as a teenager (a whole year ago) I did stupid shit... So if you are a teen (Especially below 18) just be careful and think before posting anything personal. If you have any other questions or comments, go ahead and let me know. I am open ears. Also dear anon, please tell me this blog when you get started, I’d like to follow you :)

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6umiko · 5 years ago

Text

Secret Ending 1 ~ Ep 1

I’m simply logging both SE1 & 2 for my own personal reasons. Mainly for dialogue. The dialogue will only include MC’s. Rika: Do you believe in the afterworld? This is what V and I believe. Well, it’s actually more like I believe what V thinks... It’s a bit different from what my religion tells me. When my body dies... my soul becomes free and can go anywhere. It can go across dimensions to a world where anything is possible. What should I call that place? Heaven... maybe? And... when I go to heaven, I can meet other souls that have lived with me, and visit my friends on earth. But... because there is no body, the souls can’t feel or touch each other. My friends on earth won’t be able to feel or touch me either. So when you meet another soul in heaven and fall in love, it becomes painful. So they make a promise to each other. To have a body on earth and experience love together. V and I... might have been two souls that met in heaven. Because I feel it... It was fate.

----------

Saeyoung: Saeran... We’re almost here.

Saeyoung: I’m sure that’s because he doesn’t want anyone to lose their lives like Rika... Saeyoung: MC, we’re almost here. Vanderwood will be waiting for us. Saeyoung: Yeah... I’m so afraid that I’ll lose Saeran again. MC, you know the plan, right? Don’t forget where the gun is in the car. If something happens, use it. You have to.

---------- Saeran: ...that car... Vanderwood: Boss, I see his car. Stand by... stand by. Over. Saeran: Teaming up with the agency to get rid of Luciel si too cliche... But I don’t care as long as Luciel is gone. Vanderwood, you won’t be safe either. I can tell your boss was lying when he said he’ll forgive your mistake if you just take care of this. Vanderwood: Shut up... you’re a hostage. Shouldn’t you worry about your own life right now? Who knew 707 had a twin... My damn luck! Saeran: I knew it! Luciel never mentioned me. He just forgot all about me and focused on obeying V and having all those parties. Vanderwood: You’re his twin, but you two are nothing alike. He isn’t serious like you. Come to think of it, he did crazy things as if he only had a day to live. Oh... he’s getting out of the car. Vanderwood: Boss, he’s on his way towards us, over. Saeran: I never thought this is how I’d see his end... but this isn’t the worst scenario. Vanderwood: That woman over there... she’s the one who lived in that apartment. I knew they were in love. Well, looks like she’ll have to go down too. Unfortunate, but no other option. Vanderwood: Agent 707!! This way. Saeyoung: Ms.Vanderwood! Long time no see! You missed me? Vanderwood: Can you still joke in a situation like this? Fine, do what you want. Where’s the info you brought? Saeyoung: I turned it on in the car. Vanderwood: I have to see that the info is destroyed first. And then I will safely return your hostage. Saeyoung: You can just go check inside the car. I have to check that your hostage is safe. Vanderwood: Do as you please. Check him right now. I didn’t touch a single hair just like you said. Saeyoung: ....Saeran. I’m glad you don’t seem hurt... I checked the hostage. I accessed the server with my laptop in the car. Check it and delete it yourself. I’ll wait here. Vanderwood: No, you come with me to the car. Saeyoung: Hmm... why can’t you trust me? Vanderwood: How can you ask that right now? MC: Go to the car with me. Vanderwood: Hmm... Saeyoung: MC... Are you sure? No, I’ll just go! Vanderwood: No, I’ll take her. You know what happens to hurt if you do something, right Agent 707? Saeyoung: I know but Vanderwood... if you do something to her, I’m going to blow this whole place up, got it? Vanderwood: You’re threatening me too? What... did you bring a bomb or something? Saeyoung: As you can see, I have nothing on me. I don’t have anything to hide so just hurry. Saeran: ... What is he up to? Vanderwood: I’ll just have to trust him for now. Then let’s go, lady. Saeyoung: ... They’re gone. Saeran, don’t worry. We’re going to get out of here safely. Saeran: Say what you want. I have nothing more to say to you. Saeyoung: There are agents here, right? Do you know how many? Saeran: Are you asking me? How could you be so stupid? Don’t think I’m on your side. Saeyoung: You don’t have to be on my side. I just want to make sure you’re alive. You can live and then get your revenge... for now, just think about getting out of here. Saeran: Whether I live or die... I’ll never get your help. Saeyoung: We don’t have much time. It’s better to get out of here together than to just die. Be logical. Saeran: Why should I listen to you? Saeyoung: Fine... I guess I have no choice. Please forgive me. Saeran: What? ... Ugh! Saeyoung: ...I’m only having you sleep for a little while. ---------- Vanderwood: Hmm... this seems to be everything... how can I trust him? MC: *turns on the radio* Vanderwood: What are you doing!? You didn’t implant some funny device in the car, did you!? Radio: Vanderwood. It’s me, Agent 707. Vanderwood: ...Why is his voice coming out of the radio!? Radio: Don’t even think about holding the person next to you hostage. If you even touch her, I will make sure you disappear from the face of this earth so watch it. I’m serious. Vanderwood: ...This was all a part of your plan? What are you planning? Radio: I don’t know what deal you made with the agency. I’m sure they said they’ll put you in the high ranks or promised you a fabulous life one this taken care of. But oh no. To them, you’re just a person who knows too much If you’re smart... you should already know that they’ll just get rid of you once this is over. You just came this far because there wasn’t any way out. Vanderwood: Don’t talk as if you know everything... Radio: I will give you a chance to run away right here. If you open the glove box, you’ll find your new identification forms. You’re already listed in the national registry. If you just accept it, we can make sure that the agency never finds us.

Vanderwood: Identification...? ...You hacked into the national registry? Are you insane? Radio: ...Right now, I’ve left the person most important to me in your hands. This is the only chance for you to live. The Vanderwood I know wouldn’t refuse this. If you understand, tell your boss everything is okay, and then drive the car towards me. Vanderwood: ...Damn it. Radio: This car is bulletproof. Then you see you later. MC: Hurry and make the decision. Vanderwood: Damn... Shit... Boss, it’s Vanderwood. I encountered a security lock while deleting the data in the car. Requesting permission to approach Agent 707, over. Vanderwood: Yes, sir. On my way towards him, over. Vanderwood: I have no other choice now. It’s life or death now...! I guess... this will be a less painful way to die. Saeyoung: Vanderwood!! Take him in! Hurry!! Vanderwood: What? Why is he, unconscious?! Saeyoung: Hurry!! *gun shots*

Saeyoung: Ugh! Vanderwood: Are you just gonna stand there!? Saeyoung: Take Saeran in! Hurry!! Vanderwood: Hey lady! Drive! Saeyoung: MC!!! Lower your head so you don’t get hurt! Vanderwood: Just take care of your own life!!! Saeyoung: Done!! Vanderwood: Step on it! Hurry!! ---------- 707 has entered the chatroom. 707: We saved Saeran... 707: Jumin, 707: don’t do anything yet. 707: I’ll come back with more details later. ---------- Saeyoung: Ugh... damn it. Vanderwood: You’re still alive. This is a miracle. Thank god the bullet just brushed you. Don’t you have that powerful guy in the RFA? Shouldn’t you contact him first? Saeyoung: We have to stall a bit more here. If we move, the agency will find us. Vanderwood: I know, but shouldn’t we take that risk? Or just spread info about the agency online. Let them self-destruct. Saeyoung: Then everyone in the agency including the innocent ones will be sacrificed. Vanderwood: If you damage your shoulders for good, you’ll never be able to type again! Since when did you care about them? Saeyoung: I’m keeping the info... I can go see a doctor once we’re safe. Vanderwood: I can’t believe you right now... Saeyoung: Well... now I have two people to protect... haha. Vanderwood: How can you laugh right now? And I guess I don’t count in that two. Saeyoung: Thank you for deciding to get us out, Vanderwood. We’d all have been dead without you... Vanderwood: No need to thank me. I didn’t do it for you... I trust this ID is real. Saeyoung: Of course, who do you think I am? I’ll tell you the code so type it in for me. The agency just changed the algorithm. I need to hack in but I can’t type right now... Vanderwood: Okay, go ahead. Saeran: ...Ugh... where...?

Vanderwood: He’s awake. Saeyoung: Saeran..! Ow... Vanderwood: I get that it’s an emotional reunion, but don’t strain yourself. Saeran: Where... where am I? Vanderwood: Are you awake? You wake up and find that you’re rescued. So lucky, no? Saeran: Why are you two together!? What happened? Vanderwood: Oh... I betrayed the agency and ran away with your brother and sister-in-law. We’re still on the run. Saeyoung: Sister-in-law? Nice. Saeran: ...You two are on the same team? God... where are my things? Vanderwood: Probably with the agency. Saeyoung: Saeran... Vanderwood: Hey, why do you tear up every time you see your brother? I was kind of touched when you took that bullet earlier. Never knew you had that in you. I talked with your brother a bit when I kidnapped him... but he is seriously furious with you. What the hell did you guys fight about? I mean, he seemed to think of you as his arch-enemy or something. Saeyoung: There was a misunderstanding. Saeran: Ha... my computer, my computer... isn’t here. Vanderwood: Why? What do you want to do? Saeran: ... Saeyoung: Saeran, can we talk? Saeran: ...I have nothing to say to you. Saeyoung: Saeran... Saeran: Hey, kidnapper. I feel like I’m suffocating... I need some fresh air... Vanderwood: Did you just call me kidnapper? Saeyoung: It’s still dangerous outside. Vanderwood: He can’t go out! What if he runs away? Saeyoung: Even if he goes out, he won’t be able to do anything. Right, Saeran? Vanderwood: Well... I guess. Oh, just don’t go further than the tree in front of the cabin. The satellite will be able to sense you if you go further. Saeran: I’ll just stay right outside. Give me a cig. Vanderwood: Here... Saeyoung: Saeran... Saeran: ... Vanderwood: He left. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk to you. Just leave him. At least you can see him, right? What time is it right now... Did you see my phone? Forgot where I put it. Saeyoung: Let’s hack into the agency first. This is more important. Vanderwood: Okay. ---------- Saeran: ....God. I’ll just pretend this phone is mine right now. Turn on the GPS... checking location... and then phone call... Hurry... pick up. The coordinates are 16.27352, 21.26592. I am with Luciel, his assistant... and that new woman. If we get rid of these three, Mint Eye will be safe. Please send back up. I will stall for time until the morning. Saeran: ...Turning GPS and service off again... Luciel... You will have to pay your life for tricking me. And your assistant and that woman... those two will be invited to heaven.

---------- Saeyoung: Do you have all your things? MC: Yes, but I don’t feel good about this... Saeyoung: You don’t? Saeyoung: Then I should check my weapons again. Robot cat, switch to battery saving mode. Vanderwood: Let’s check our schedule again. Saeyoung: You remember the log you saw yesterday? The agency is tracking us like crazy. And they are upgrading their whole security system. You read that document saying that the update will start in the next hour sharp and last for two hours, right? Vanderwood: Yeah, it had the chief’s signature, so it’s real. Saeyoung: Meanwhile, we’re going to get out of here and go to Jumin. Vanderwood: Okay. So we have to leave... around 28 minutes from now.

Saeyoung: Yes. Vanderwood: ...Alright. Your brother hasn’t been saying anything. You sure we can just take him? Saeyoung: ...I don’t really know how I can approach him right now. Vanderwood: I wouldn’t even want to talk to him if I were you. You both are strange. No wonder you’re brothers. Saeran: ... Saeyoung: Saeran... are you hurt anywhere? Saeran: Just leave me alone. Saeyoung: I know you’re misunderstanding things about me. Some day you’ll know the truth... You’ll know that it was V and not me all along... Saeran: You always like to give excuses, so that you’re never the one to blame. Vanderwood: Guess he’s answering now. Saeyoung: I would never have left you if I knew this would happen... Never. Now that I’m finally with you again, I don’t want to ever let you go. I’m going to stay with you and explain everything. I won’t give up. I know that we can go back to how things were... We got through so many things relying on each other. Saeran: ...I don’t want to hear anymore. Just shut up. Saeyoung: Saeran... ugh... Vanderwood: Hey... is your arm okay? It’s not bleeding...but you should get out of here and go to the hospital. Thank God the bullet just grazed you. Saeyoung: Yeah... Vanderwood: Wh...what!? Who’s knocking!? Saeyoung: ...Who is it? Vanderwood: It must be someone from the agency. Are you sure you can run? Saeyoung: We have to. First... get your weapons out. MC, come behind me. Ugh... Vanderwood: Don’t hold anything with that arm...! What do we do? Should I just start shooting? Saeyoung: We can’t have anyone die here... Saeran: ...Move over. Vanderwood: Hey! Stay still! Saeyoung: Saeran!? What are you doing? Saeran: Back off, traitors! Vanderwood: Damn it...! You don’t think...! Saeran: ...You’re just in time. What... Why are you here!? Vanderwood: Isn’t he... one of yours? V: ...Saeyoung.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #cheritz #jihyun kim #mary vanderwood 3rd #mint eye #rfa #secret ending

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mysticmikalla · 6 years ago

Note

Dearest GodMikalla, I humbly request a HC where Zen and Vandy are fuck buddies (friends with benefits) with MC. Like, how did they arrive at that situation, does anyone catch feelings? If so, who? What happened if the rest of RFA find out? It can be nsfw. It can be angst if you like. I'll let you take control.

Your wish has been heard, loud and clear!

I GOT SUPER CARRIED AWAY AND ENDED UP WRITING 5.4K WORDS OF THIS BUT ALAS, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!

***

Zen

“We need to get back to the party soon, you know. The others will start getting suspicious.”

“Hm,” Zen hummed against your neck, “Just a few more minutes.”

“You said that a few minutes ago.”

“I really mean it this time.” You could tell he was barely listening to you, his lips buried on your neck, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses all the way down to your collarbone

“Zen,” you moaned, tilting your head back so he could have access to more of you, “We need to go, the others will start getting suspicious.”

“They won’t,” he reassured you, “There are a million guests this time, they won’t even notice that we are gone.”

“But if they find out…!”

“They won’t.” Zen said, and to himself, he added, but would it be so bad if they did?

And as if on cue, in barged in a hacker and a gamer, their callings for you interrupted by the sight of your intertwined figures at the back of the dark room

“Zen? And M-MC?!” Yoosung gasped, his purple eyes wide and mouth agape, “Were you two…?”

“Please tell me this isn’t what it looks like.” Said Seven, still trying to process the scene unfolding before him

When you two didn’t reply, which the blond took as confirmation that it was indeed what it looked like, he exclaimed, “How did this even happen?!”

Ah, how did this happened, indeed?

It had maybe been a month since it had all started; after your first party as the new coordinator, the RFA agreed that having you stay in an apartment with a bomb was rather…dangerous, to say the least

And its not that Zen and Yoosung didn’t trust Seven’s nearly perfect algorithm for the security system, but the pair of them were the most outspoken ones about your safety

“She’s already planned a party for us, there’s no reason for her to stay there anymore!” Zen argued, angry at V and Seven for allowing you to ever step foot in there in the first place

Though you appreciated his concern for you, you pointed out, “I don’t really have anywhere else to go, I already got kicked out of my old apartment for missing the rent. Is there really no way you can disarm the bomb, Seven? Just so I can stay?”

The hacker scratched the back of his head, “I can’t really do anything about it without talking to V first…Sorry, MC.”

“Where the hell is she supposed to go?!” You could tell Zen was furious by the way he spat, even more so than you were

“I have several extra rooms in my penthouse, MC is more than welcome to-” Jumin offered

“No!” The actor objected, “She can’t stay with you!”

“Why not?”

“She’s…She’s a woman, and you’re a man! It’s not right!”

“MC, do you have a problem with staying at my home for a few days?”

“Not really-”

“Of course she does!” Zen said, “Listen, MC. You can’t go around trusting everyone, alright? You already got yourself involved with that hacker, don’t go trusting this guy. He might be charming and all, but you never know! He might lock you in a cage or something!”

“I would never do such thing.” Jumin waved him off

“Where am I supposed to go, then?”

“Uh, well,” he began, “You could stay at my place. Just for a while, until you find somewhere more permanent.”

“I fail to see why you deem her staying at my home immoral but it’s fine as long as its with you.” Jumin spoke, but his words were ignored by the silvered-haired man

“What do you say, MC?”

“Is it really okay? I don’t want to bother you or anything…”

“You could never bother me, of course its okay,” He gave you a warm smile, “Are you in?”

“I’m in!”

And so, in the span of 2 days, you managed to get all your belongings over to Zen’s place

It was smaller than you thought it would be, and there was only one bedroom, but Zen insisted he was fine sleeping on the couch

“Are you sure?” You lifted an eyebrow, “Jumin has plenty of space over at his place, maybe I should just stay there…?”

“Trust me, MC,” he scoffed, “You don’t want to share a home with him, he’s so…boring. You’d be dying of boredom in two days.”

“Yeah, but…I don’t feel so good about making you sleep on the couch.” You shifted awkwardly on your feet.

“You’re not making me do anything, MC. I offered you a place to stay, I’m more than happy to have you here. Its what friends do.”

“Its what friends do.” You agreed with a grin

And so began your adventures living together

You found Zen to be a great roommate, always fun to be around and never really getting in the way of your daily routines

Friday nights were beer nights while Saturday mornings consisted of him nursing you back from your hangover so you were well enough for a movie marathon later that evening

Zen liked to cook for you, though it was always super healthy and low-fat things, and that was one luxury you didn’t have if you were living alone

The only downside to it all was that, although you got the bedroom, Zen’s snores could be heard from the living room all the way to your tired ears

You felt yourself having a great time with him, so much so that you didn’t even want to leave his place anymore, and he did everything in his power to keep you there, as well

It had been weeks since you had moved in, and now neither of you were ready for you to move out

“Zen,” you giggled, reaching across the couch to take away his can of beer, “I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

“This is just my fifth one,” he said, “I’m not even tipsy yet.”

And while alcohol had barely an effect on him, the room was already spinning for you

The movie you two had previously been watching was now ignored and replaced by drunk chatter

“How can you drink this much without getting a beer belly?”

“I told you, I’m superhuman,” he winked, “God’s-”

“God’s mistake.” You finished his sentence, dramatically rolling your eyes

“Hey,” he nudged your foot with his, a smirk playing on his lips, “Don’t steal my lines. And I don’t get fat because I work out. See?”

Lifting up his shirt, Zen revealed the defined muscles of his abs

In your drunk state of mind, all you could do was stare

I mean, you had seen plenty of fit men shirtless before in your lifetime

But Zen was not exaggerating when he compared himself to a statue and you were too intoxicated to care about whether it was appropriate to stare at his body for this long

“Speechless?” He asked in amusement

“I…” The alcohol took over control of your tongue while the little part of your brain that was still sober heavily protested, “I want to touch it.”

This sent Zen into a laughing fit, his eyes screwing shut as he bent over, “Don’t laugh!”

“I’m sorry, MC,” he managed to say in between laughs, “I was just not expecting that from you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re just so…innocent! I never thought you’d ask to touch me like that.”

“I’m not that innocent, you know.” You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest

“Sure you aren’t, MC, sure you aren’t.” he chuckled, opening a new can of beer and taking a large sip

You mimicked him, helping yourself to yet another can

Innocent…was that supposed to be a compliment?

It was half past three by the time you were both passed out on the couch

You were so drunk, even Zen’s loud snores and long limbs tangled with yours didn’t seem to bother you, and the only thing that could interrupt your drunken slumber was a nagging urge to pee

Zen didn’t wake up when you untangled your legs from under his and stumbled over to the bathroom, nor when you decided to settle next to him in the small couch instead of going to your room like you usually did

He didn’t wake up as your stared at his sleeping face, bringing your fingers to trace his features, so perfect and serene, even in slumber

Neither did he wake up when you whispered his name, wishing he would wake up and talk to you some more

He did, however, open his eyes as you lifted his shirt back up to get another look at him, this time up close

You didn’t know what you were thinking, the alcohol still affecting your judgement, but one thing was certain; you needed to see him again

Grabbing your hand, he mumbled, “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered back, “I just…I’m not as innocent as you think.”

“MC,” he let out a breathy laugh, “I don’t think just looking at my abs while I sleep makes you any less innocent.”

Perhaps it was the challenge in his voice or the alcohol in your system, or the mingling of both, that made you cup his cheek and run your thumb over his bottom lip

Or perhaps it was how good he looked and how delicious he smelled that urged you to bring his lips to yours, kissing him as if you had wanted to for ages

His lips still had a lingering taste of beer, but they were otherwise sweet, addictingly so

He kissed you back immediately, grabbing your face and bringing you closer, leading the ardent kiss

You took the hand that traveled from your waist to the small of your back as an invitation to go further

Shifting positions, you straddled his lap, knee on the either side of him and your center pressed against his

In the dim light of his living room, you could make out both shock and lust in his scarlet irises, the parting of his lips urged you want to close the gap between them and yours again, and his silver hair that was messily sprawled out underneath him made the man look unreal

He was so beautiful, you realized

“MC-”

“I’ll prove to you that I’m not innocent.”

And, yup, this is indeed how it had happened

“So you’ve been sneaking around for a month?!” Yoosung sputtered, still unable to process the story you had just told and what he’d just seen

“Well…yeah.”

“But why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because,” you began, “We didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. It’s not like it means anything anyway, it was just for fun.”

While both Yoosung and Seven uttered their responses, Zen felt a painful tug of his heart, and his gaze fell down to the floor

“Hey,” he croaked, “Could you guys give us a minute?”

After the two men left, Zen dropped his hold on your hand, refusing to meet your eyes

“Is something wrong?” You eyed him curiously, reaching for his hand again only to have him reject your touch

“I…I don’t think we should do this anymore, MC.”

What?

“Zen, what are you saying?”

“I think we should stop this, whatever this is.” He motioned in between you two

“Hey, look at me,” you brought up your hand to cup his cheek, but he gently swayed it away before you could, “Zen…Why are you being like this all the sudden? You seemed into it just a minute ago!”

“Yeah, well,” when his eyes met yours, you were shocked to see they flared with anger, and how his brows pulled together in hurt, “That was before.”

“Before what?”

“Before I found out that it means nothing to you!” He snapped, his hand running over his face

You opened your mouth, but no words would come out. Huh?

“All this time I thought that maybe…Ah, forget it. Just…Forget it, it’s my fault for ever thinking you felt the same.”

“Zen, wait,” you grabbed his hand before he could attempt to leave, “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

It had been true from the moment he had met you; all the shared jokes, silent flirting and secret touches under the table made him hope, words of affection whispered after moments pleasure and the way your eyes seemed to linger longer on him all made Zen believe you could possibly feel the same

It was how giddy he felt knowing he had someone to come home to, how incredibly happy he became when you two started to share a bed. It was how absolutely thrilled he was knowing that you were there, that you were his, even if only in the moments he kissed you

It was a combination of all those things that made the actor realize he was utterly in love with you

“It’s nothing, MC. Forget I said anything.” He mumbled, leaning in for a kiss

Having you like this, he realized, even if only one-sided, was better than not having you at all

If you didn’t feel the same, the short moments of bliss in which he could pretend you did were enough. They had to be enough

“No,” you turned your head before his lips could find yours, “I know its not ‘nothing’. Tell me. What did you mean by that?”

“It wasn’t just meaningless sex to me, MC,” he confessed, “It wasn’t just that.”

“But I thought…”

“I know, and it’s not your fault. I’m sorry, please forget I said anything, please. I don’t want to stop being with you, even if its like this.”

You took a step closer to him until you were mere inches from his chest. His head hung low, all you had to do was simply look up to meet your lips with his

“I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Jesus, MC,” he let out a defeated laugh, “How could you possibly not know?”

“I…I didn’t want to hope for it, Zen.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t want to fool myself into thinking that you might feel the same way I do.” You admitted, finally looking up to meet his eyes, your lips millimeters apart, “I didn’t want to hope that you were in love with me as I am with you.”

It took him a second to process your words, “A-are you saying what I think you’re saying? Don’t get my hopes up like this, MC.”

“I would never do that.”

“Then why did you tell them that it meant nothing?” He question, still skeptical about your confession, still refusing to believe that you might actually feel it, too

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You never mentioned anything so I didn’t know what to think.”

He caressed your cheek, adoration so vivid in his eyes and the beating of his heart so strong against his chest that he was sure the guests outside could hear, “MC, I had no idea…”

“How could I possibly not fall in love with you, Zen? After everything we’ve been through?” You smiled, and when he found himself to be at a loss for words, you brought your lips together, tasting them as if it were the first time

“Just kiss me, you fool.”

Vanderwood

You could never have guessed that you’d end up like this, so close to him

Perhaps it was because he wasn’t as outgoing as Seven or Zen, charming like Yoosung and Jumin or seemed as caring as Jaehee, but the man in the leopard-print suit with a stone face had always seemed a bit unapproachable to you

Hell, he wasn’t even in the RFA in the first place, so the opportunities you had to get to know him were, well, close to none

And yet,

After hackers, cults, kidnappings and all of the drama that came with being a party coordinator, Seven decided to give up his precious ‘maid’ so that Vanderwood could keep a close eye on you

“I’m not even hired by you,” scoffed the agent, “I’m here to make sure you do your job.”

“I can’t focus if I know she’s in danger,” Seven would say in order to convince him, “So if you do this, I promise to get all my work done. Pretty please?”

Vanderwood knew that when Seven went into pleading mode, there was no arguing against

The brunette man wasn’t happy about having to baby sit you, and you weren’t so thrilled about the arrangement, either

Yes, Vanderwood was one of the only ones who knew the address to the apartment, and yes it was risky to send Jumin’s body guards over to your top secret location

…but still

Did it have to be Vanderwood? You barely knew him!

You two had hardly exchanged two sentences to each other, and although he did seem nice enough to you, it was damn awkward

Although you knew he was being paid to be there and you didn’t have to keep him company at all times, you still felt bad about leaving him alone like that all day

He just sat there on the couch, eyes fixated on his phone and occasionally pulling out a book

For hours

Everyday.

During weeks

A few words were muttered here in there when you came and went from the apartment, but other than that, it was complete silence

Seven told you not to take it personally, he just tended to keep to himself most of the time when he wasn’t scolding anyone

You often wondered what went through his mind during the long hours of silence he endured, whether he was counting down the days as well until the hacker was no longer a threat so he could finally leave

It had become a painfully boring routine for him and an awkward one for you

“Hey,” you told him one day as you were leaving the house, “I’m going out to the store for a few minutes…is there anything you w-want, or need?”

“You can’t go.”

“Huh?”

“You can’t go.” He repeated, not even bothering to avert his gaze from his phone and look at you

“Why not?”

“The hacker has been acting quite strange lately, Luciel said its best to stay here for a while.”

You chewed on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say. “Oh.”

His attention went back to his phone and, without another word, you retreated to your room

And in the following days, the same happened

Whether it was going across the street to the store or even just get the mail outside, Vanderwood said the exact three words, leaving to space for arguments

“You can’t go.”

You were getting annoyed at the whole ordeal, feeling as if you were a ten-year-old asking for your parent’s permission

“I’m going over to my friend’s house.” You informed, hastily putting your coat on and gathering your things so he wouldn’t have time to stop you

“Can’t.” Damn.

“But-”

“Nope.”

“It’s Poker night! I can’t miss Poker night.” You huffed in annoyance

“You can, and you will. There is still a possibility-”

“I don’t want to put my life on hold due to a ‘possibility’!” You argued, “Come with me if you’re so worried.”

“Its too dangerous, MC,” he warned, but upon seeing your frustration, Vanderwood softened, “I’m sorry.”

“I just-” you let out a deep sigh, knowing it wasn’t his fault, either, “Never mind. Its fine.”

And when you spun in your heel to trudge your way back to the confinement of your room, he spoke, “I can play Poker.”

It had been the first time he had said something to you that wasn’t related to your safety

“Oh,” you replied, “You don’t have to, its fine-”

Vanderwood scoffed, “You’ve been sulking in your room for days now, I’m even starting to feel guilty here.”

“You’re not-”

“Let’s play.”

Reluctantly, you sat on the other end of the couch closely watching Vanderwood shuffle a deck of cards

“Where did you get that deck? I didn’t know there was one in the apartment.”

“There are two things you can never leave the house without,” he told you, “A pen and a deck of cards.”

“And clothes, of course.” You added

“And clothes,” he agreed, “You know the rules, right?”

“Please. I am the Poker Queen, undefeated among my friends.”

“That’s good to hear,” he grinned, “I am the Poker King.”

And so, a weird yet amusing tradition began

After work or school, Vanderwood would pick you up from where Jumin’s bodyguards dropped you off, and together you walked back to the secrecy of your apartment

You were in charge of getting snacks while he set up the game and put together a small playlist composed of his favorite songs (which you thought were terrible, but hey, if he were in a good mood, so were you)

And then you began to play

And when you played, you talked

And the more you talked, the more you realized that there was so much more to this man that met the eye

Someone you had deemed so cold before was actually pretty easy going, and surprisingly caring

For someone who wasn’t used to talking a lot to other people, Vanderwood was actually quite funny

And boy could this man talk after getting a bit more comfortable with you

Vanderwood had so many stories to tell and you two often found yourselves lost in chat, neglecting the game you both loved so you could listen

He never went into much detail about his past, but you were too engrossed in his tales of adventure and danger to pay much mind

And…you liked it

You enjoyed his company a lot and found yourself preferring to stay in and share a game with this him rather than going out with your friends

It went on for weeks, and your previous wish of having the hacker taken care of so he could leave was now completely gone

“This is getting boring,” you set your cards down after the second hour of playing, “We need to at least bet something.”

“Do you have anything you want from me?” He wondered, eyeing his cards and the ones on the table, masking his expression well so you could never guess what hand he had

“How about…” You pondered, “One truth?”

“A truth?”

“Yes,” you nodded, “If I win, you have answer any question I ask truthfully.”

“No.” He turned you down before you could explain further

You stuck your lips out in a pout, “Why not?”

“Are you going to call or not?” He nodded towards the cards, ignoring your question

“No, I fold. And why not?”

“The less you know about me, the better.” He said, collecting the prize of some gummy bears from his win

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me!” You offered

“I already know everything about you.” Vanderwood pointed out, and you knew it was true; Seven had probably informed him of even your blood type and credit card information by now

“That’s not fair,” you argued, “How come you get to know everything about me but I don’t know a single thing about you?”

“Because its my job, MC. Now, are you going to deal the cards or not?”

“No,” you stubbornly said, crossing your arms over your chest and avoiding his gaze, “I don’t want to play anymore.”

“Don’t be like that.” He rolled his eyes

“I’m serious! I don’t like it that you know everything about me and I don’t even know if Vanderwood is even your real name.”

“There is no reason for you to know,” he countered, “I’m getting paid to be here, to protect you. There is nothing more to it. You don’t have to know anything about me.”

You blinked, puzzled at his words, “I-I thought we were friends?”

His silence sent a surprisingly painful pang through your chest

“I see. It’s fine.”

“MC-”

“I don’t feel like playing anymore.” You mumbled, standing up to leave towards the comfort of your room

Vanderwood always made sure to keep the distance, so you were surprised when he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you back down to the couch

“We are friends, okay?”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to believe me, its the truth.” He huffed, but the longer you stared with those big, pleading eyes of yours, the more he felt himself give in

Vanderwood groaned, running a hand over his face, “Argh, fine. I’ll answer three questions you have, but no more.”

You beamed at him, “Really?”

“Really.”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you thought about every question, every thought of wonder you’ve ever had about him; there were too many! How were you supposed to pick just three?

His past, his scars, his family, and even the story behind the haircut you deemed so ugly- you wanted to know it all

“Is Vanderwood your real name?”

“No,” he answered, “And I won’t give you my real one.”

“Fine,” you sighed, pausing before asking your second question, “Why do you wear gloves all the time? Its summer.”

“Would you believe it if I said that I’m a germophobe?”

You shook your head, “You promised to tell the truth.”

“I….” He paused for a while, as if battling with himself on whether he wanted to answer or skip the question, “I don’t like touching people.”

Your eyes widened at his response, and guilt washed over you as you remembered all the playful nudges and pokes you shared with him, “Oh my God, you should have told me before! I wouldn’t have-”

“It’s fine,” he waved you off, “I said I don’t like people touching me. You’re not people, you’re you.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure of what to reply, “So…how do you…”

“How do I what?”

“You know…” You fumbled with your words, flustered, “How do you date?”

“I don’t.” He said flatly

“So you mean you’ve never…?”

“I think you already used all your questions.” He cut you off, tearing his gaze from yours

“I will take that as a yes.”

He was silent

“…Well?”

“No,” he admitted in a grumble, “I have never.”

And you don’t know why you said it

Perhaps it was because you were lonely or stressed, but ever since you had been locked in the same apartment as him for weeks, you began to feel…Curious

Curious about him; how he would feel, what he looked like under all those clothes, how he would taste, how he sounded like…

And most of all, curious as to what he would reply to your suggestive question

“Do you want to?”

The silence that fell and the moments that followed had to be the longest of your life

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“It could be fun.” You wiggled your eyebrows

He let out a laugh, “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Oh, come on! You’re bored, I’m bored, we are stuck here together anyway…What do you say?”

It was one of the rare times Vanderwood was completely caught by surprise

It wasn’t what he signed up for. He was supposed to just keep an eye on you as you came and went, just while this hacker was still on the loose so Seven could get his work for the agency done

He was never supposed to starting speaking and much less talking about himself with you, and Vanderwood was definitely not supposed to get close to you like that

So why did he find himself just as curious as you?

Why did he find himself closing the space between you on the couch? Why was he leaning in until his nose brushed with yours and your minty breath was all he could smell?

Why did he find himself kissing you?

“No strings attached?” He murmured

“No strings attached.”

And then he dipped his head in, bringing your lips to his, trying not to think about how it was the closest he had ever been to someone, and how it was you, of all people!

It was true, he hadn’t lied; you were the only person he didn’t hate touching, and he was almost as surprised as you were at how much he enjoyed it

You, on the other hand, had lied

You promised him it was meaningless, you promised him it would be just sex

No strings attached, right?

But from the very first kiss and the very first time he touched you, you could feel those strings growing tighter

Whenever you would wake up and he was still in your bed, you couldn’t help but run your hands over his sleeping features, admiring how soft they looked in comparison to when he was awake

When he was in silence, you desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, what troubled him enough to warrant a deep scowl he often wore on his face

Each time you called his name during moments of ecstasy, you felt yourself fall a little more for him, a little deeper, a little harder

Whenever his hands were on you and yours were on him, a foreign warmth spread within you, especially when you thought about how you were the only person in the world who had ever been with him like this

The nights when he got a little bit too drunk and your pillow-talk would grow to invade the late hours of night, with him speaking in a softer tone than usual and revealing bits about himself, you felt yourself beginning to crash

The only thing that kept you grounded was your daily reminder that he was being paid to be there, to worry about your whereabouts and care for you

That’s right, you bitterly reminded yourself, its his job. Its just his job

But it didn’t feel like that when he kissed you

It didn’t feel like it was just part of his job, and it sure didn’t feel as if you two were just friends

He was sweet and tender with you, softly spoken at times and incredibly vulnerable at others

And that was no job nor friendship

It was something you only dared to hope for

It was lo-

“Hey,” you whispered while you lied on his chest, focusing on the counts of his heartbeat and the heat of his bare skin on yours, “Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm.” He hummed, eyes half closed and his movements slow and tired while he caressed your hair

“What are you feeling right now?”

His hand stopped feeling through your locks, “I’m tired. Why?”

“Just tired?”

“Why are you asking?” He shifted you over so he could look at your face

“Its nothing. You should sleep.” You buried your face in his arms again, avoiding his eyes and attempting to push down the rising lump in your throat

Ah, yes, you were cruelly reminded, the euphoria and glowing feeling in your heart was something exclusive to you, and no matter how much you wished for it, the four-lettered word you felt was horribly one-sided

But Vanderwood was not a fool nor was he oblivious; he could detect the smallest crack in your voice and the stiffing of your body under his arm

“I thought you said friends didn’t lie, MC. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I just…” You trailed off, absentmindedly tracing circles on his skin, “I’m tired, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“I’m tired, too, so tell me.”

Hesitating, you thought about how much greater the dull in your chest was about to get once you spoke those words, and how it would tenfold once he rejected them, “What would you say if I told you I were in love?”

His silence was almost deafening, and you regretted those words almost immediately after they left your lips

Perhaps it would have been better to remain in the bliss of ignorance

“I’d tell you that you’re mad.”

There it was.

The warmth that previously lounged in your heart was now overcome with a vicious cold, your limbs going numb upon processing his words

You didn’t know how the lump in your throat hadn’t suffocated you yet, and for a moment, you wished it would

But before the hurt could fester any further and your heart could completely break, Vanderwood tilted your chin up, taking you by surprise as his lips met with yours

“But maybe I’m just as mad as you.”

#This is the longest hc ive ever written lmfao im sorry #but it was quite fun to write #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger scenarios #mystic messenger fanfic #hyun ryun #mm zen #mm vanderwood #vanderwood

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