#“smile and don't act like you want to stab everyone here”

[ashcadence]

I think the cold opening for the Tea Party OVA is one of the best cold openings. Because if you haven't read the manga, you think it's this grand plot, but no... they just have to socialize

[buckyalpine]

A one shot where Bucky doesn’t like the reader and makes her life at the compound a little rough? Like enemies (maybe to lover or friends?) and she is like the sunshine personality 🥺🥺🥺

I live for this shit This type of angst where he's mean and finds her annoying even though she's a sweetheart, ugh, yes. YES.

Bucky groaned, trying to ignore the shooting pain that seared in his abdomen, clutching an old t-shirt to stop the bleeding from the stab wound he'd received during his latest mission.

"You good there, terminator?" Sam cocked an eyebrow watching Bucky unconvincingly nod, grunting a half assed yes before squeezing his eyes shut and flopping back on the seat.

"You're gonna need stiches" Steve snorted, shaking his head at his stubborn friend.

"I'm fine" Bucky gritted out, preferring to bleed out on the jet instead of going to the med bay where he'd be surrounded by doctors and needles and if he was really unlucky, you.

"Seriously? That's the second shirt you've bled through, I don't think the serum's gonna cut it, punk" Steve sighed, knowing how Bucky felt about getting medical care but it wasn't like he had a choice. As soon as the jet landed, Bucky was shoved in the direction of the medical wing, pouting and grumpy as he limped with Steve supporting him. Bucky frowned when Steve pushed him to lay down on the examination table, grumbling and wincing under his breath.

"You stay here. I'm gonna finish writing up our reports, don't go sneaking off" Steve chuckled, giving his friend's shoulder a squeeze before leaving. The soldier stared up at the florescent lights, his eyes anxiously darting about the room, hoping and praying that at the very least he wouldn't have to deal with-

"Good afternoon Bucky!"

For fucks sake.

Bucky groaned at the chirpy voice that piped up from the door, his brows knotted together from frustration.

He hated it. You'd ask about his day as if he wasn't there go get sewn up. You'd talk to him like you'd known him for years, almost oblivious to the fact that he was a former brain washed assassin. Every time he saw you, you were so giggly and pretty and bouncy and cute and happy and it irked his soul because it was to the point it was unnecessary. I mean you were just so kind and sweet to everyone as if everyone deserved such amazingness from such a wonderful person, okay that's enough Bucky.

The world wasn't fucking sunshine and rainbows and he had no idea why you acted like it was.

"Steve said you needed a few stitches so-

"Where's Dr. Cho" Bucky cut you off, hoping anyone else would help him so he could get on with his day, willing to take the needle and thread himself instead of having you do it while talking his ear off.

"Oh, she's with another patient right now but it's fine, I promise I'll get you out of here soon, do you mind if I remove your vest-

"Yeah, I got it" Bucky huffed, wincing to get his gear off but you stopped him, urging him to stay down.

"No, it's okay, I just wanted to make sure you're okay with it, I'll cut it off, don't worry"

Bucky nodded, lying back down while you grabbed a tray with medical supplied, carefully cutting around the blood soaked material and discarding it. You cleaned the area, mumbling apologies incase the alcohol caused any pain, moving on to closing the cut.

"I heard about the mission you all went on. I can't even imagine going through all that, it sounded terrifying. You're very brave Sargent" You smiled, tossing your gloves aside after patching Bucky up. Bucky grunted as he hopped off the table without a word, ready to whack Steve on the head for telling you of all people he needed help.

"If you need anything else, let me know! Just get some rest for a few days, it'll heal soon-

"I know" Bucky walked out of the room without looking back, his shoulders relaxing when he was far away from he med wing. There was truly no reason for him to be this annoyed but he was tired, in pain and he knew for a fact there would be a pile of papers for him to fill out in the conference room.

You didn't take Bucky's grumpy attitude to heart, understanding the stress that came with going on missions, getting injured every time coupled with the fact that he was probably still healing from his own past. You put away the supplies before taking a coffee break, running into a very excited Tony along the way.

"Hey cupcake, just who I was looking for, do you like chocolate or vanilla"

"Tony, I told you, you don't have to-

"That doesn't answer the question. Pick one or the other or both or another flavor, all the flavours, but give me something"

You giggled at the way he looked at you expectantly, sighing seeing as he wouldn't let up until you answered.

"I'm not picky, you know I'd love anything. Get something everyone would like, seriously, I don't even need all this, I'm just the nurse-

"Stop that right now, there's no one else like you" Tony huffed, planting a quick kiss your head before texting his caterers about everything he wanted, ensuring everything was perfect, especially when it came to you.

-

You woke up to the sun streaming through the curtains, stretching before getting out of bed and padding over to the bathroom to go through your morning routine. You had the day off, throwing on your joggers instead of your typical scrubs and making your way down to the kitchen, grabbing ingredients for baking.

You hummed, scooping out spoons of cookie batter, plopping it onto the tray and throwing it into the oven, cleaning up the area in between, waiting for the oven timer to go off. You set the chocolate chip cookies onto a tray, piping the last bit of icing onto the top and sweeping away the smidges of frosting that got onto the counter.

Bucky blinked at the smell of baking, making his way to the kitchen for some water after a run. He groaned, nearly walking right back out when he saw you singing to yourself, arranging cookies in a circle, each one decorated for a different person in the tower.

"Good morning Bucky" You smiled while he mumbled, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, "I-I made made cookies for everyone, did you want one?" You asked hopefully, looking at the little dog tags you'd piped on the cookie you made for him while he shrugged in response.

"Why do you keep trying so hard, do you not have any friends?" Bucky scoffed, ignoring the fresh plate of cookies that sat on the counter, not caring that your face had fallen. He wanted to strike a nerve, feeling a sick satisfaction at the way you silenced yourself, giving him the peace and quiet he wanted.

"S-sorry, I just thought-

"You thought what?" Buck cocked an eyebrow, the tick in his jaw making your stomach churn.

"Nothing, sorry" You mumbled, turning back to continue cleaning while he chugged the rest of the bottle. "I've just leave them here if you want one later on-

"No, I don't want one now and I don't think I'll want one later either" Bucky glared at you, tired of you always trying to do things for others as if anyone asked.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't-" you bit your lip hard to keep from crying, not wanting to annoy Bucky more.

"Why do you always act like everything great? Like we don't come back from almost dying, risking our lives while you go about like the world is perfect"

"I just-I didn't mean-

"You didn't mean what, to be annoying? Did anyone even ask for this?" Bucky nodded to the cookies while you shook your head, feeling ridiculous and embarrassed, not realizing others also probably found you annoying.

"I-it was my birthday, I thought-" you sniffled, choking back a whimper, "I wanted to do something nice - never mind" You bit your lip to keep from breaking down, blinking back tears as you scurried off to your room, without looking back.

The initial satisfaction Bucky was short lived as he stood in the now empty kitchen, tossing the bottle aside. The plate caught his eye once more as he walked by, reluctantly stopping to look at each one, your skilled hands decorating each one with clean details. He instantly spotting the one you made for him which had been dusted with silver just like his tags; he had no idea how you managed to get his name and number piped to precisely.

Not that it mattered.

Bucky continued to make his way to the gym, feeling a little bad that he made you cry but he figured you'd get over soon enough, after all that seemed to be your strong suit, you were always happy and smiling anyway.

-

"You're coming tonight, right?" Steve dropped the weights he was curling while Bucky frowned, unsure of what the captain was referring to.

"Why, what's tonight" Bucky grunted, still in the middle of his set.

"Seriously, Tony told us like a month ago"

"Yeah, fine" Bucky huffed, not really caring what it was about, knowing he'd be dragged to go regardless. He finished the rest of his workout, retreating back to his room to shower. He flopped onto his bed after, grabbing a book from his bedside table seeing as there was still plenty of time till he had to get ready.

The book had been a Christmas present from you and as much as he hated to admit it, it was perfect and one of his favorites. He tried to focus on the words, feeling bad again thinking about how your face had fallen earlier when all you did was offer him a cookie.

Maybe he went a little overboard with his reaction...

Bucky shook the guilt he felt, hoping that you'd be running around somewhere getting ready for whatever tonight was.

-

"Where's y/n" Sam looked around the room seeing everyone else present but you, the night in full swing seeing as Tony had gone all out as usual "I swear she said she'd be here, this is literally her birthday party"

"I didn't see her" Nat frowned, putting down the drink she was sipping on, scanning the room again, "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen her all day"

Bucky felt a deep pang in his chest when he realized the party was for you, his stomach twisting in knots.

"Where's our birthday girl" Steve asked as he joined the others, the guilt making Bucky feel even more sick. He ran a hand over his face while the others continued to wonder where you were. "I hope she isn't working, she deserves a day off, she already worked over time for 3 months straight when we were running back to back missions"

Bucky remembered that.

They'd all been sent out on missions spread across different months and you'd been the one on call to patch them up the entire time. You hadn't complained once even through you were thoroughly sleep deprived. At the time Bucky was annoyed you were in such an upbeat mood when they were all scraping by but you had been struggling yourself.

"I fucked up" Bucky groaned, feeling awful for how he'd treated you in the morning and for how he'd been acting towards you in general.

"Why, what did you do" Steve's face twisted in confusion while Bucky's face reddened in embarrassment. Steve was aware Bucky complained about you but he figured it was because his bestfriend got flustered around the pretty nurse, he'd seen Bucky get tongue tied plenty of times whenever you walked by.

"You were a grumpy asshole to y/n, weren't you" Sam frowned seeing Bucky's guilty face. The soldier didn't say another word, leaving the group to find you instead, debating on getting Steve to clock him in the jaw first. Bucky ran to the elevator, pushing the button to your floor, hoping he'd see you making your way down, only to find the hallway empty. His heart broke hearing the soft sniffles coming from your room, the door closed. He gently knocked on the door, your cries quieting down as if you'd silenced yourself to pretend you were asleep instead of opening the door.

"Y/n?" Bucky called for you only to be met with more silence, "Can-can you please open the door?" His heart started to beat faster when he head your footsteps approaching the door, clicking the lock open; you were still in your joggers from earlier, your face puffy from crying.

All because of him.

"Sorry, I fell asleep" you lied, keeping your face trained on your feet, worried Bucky had come to yell at you about the party Tony had thrown for you, "and I'm sorry about the party, you didn't have to go if you didn't want to, I promise I didn't tell Tony you had to come, I know you don' like me-

"No, no baby no, stop" Bucky hushed you, his heart breaking when your voice cracked, rambling out apologies. His body moved on its own, wrapping his arms around you while you started to cry again, rocking you while holding you to his chest. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you have nothing to apologize for doll, nothing at all"

Bucky held you tightly while your body shook, feeling sick with himself for how he'd been treating you. You'd never been anything short of sweet and he'd made a point of always letting you know he couldn't care less. He lifted you in his arms, walking over to your bed, sitting down with you in his lap, ready to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness.

"I didn't mean to be so annoying" You shrugged, fidgeting with your fingers, the light that always made your eyes twinkle dimmed from Bucky's words.

"Y/n, please, no" Bucky whispered, pleading with you to stop. "Don't doll. It was never ever you, please let me apologize. I've been awful to you, you've done nothing wrong. You've always been an angel, sweets, it's me whose been an annoying asshole. I don't deserve your kindness but that's never stopped you from giving it to me when I least deserved it"

"You deserve kindness Bucky" you gave him a small smile, one that didn't meet your eyes and Bucky felt his eyes sting. Even when he was the one in the wrong, you were still comforting him with your sweetness.

"Y/n, I don't know anyone that deserves the sort of kindness you give. I don't know anyone that would deserve someone as wonderful as you. You're a light for everyone when its dark. I was a fuckin' idiot for everything I've ever said to you. That isn't an excuse for how I've been treating you doll, I know that. It's just- I've been awful to you and you've never done anything wrong. I'm truly sorry sweets"

"Its okay Bucky" You whispered, reaching up to wipe the tear that streaked down his face, your cheeks heating up when you realized you were still in his lap, "S-sorry, I didn't realize-

Bucky shook his head, holding you securely in his lap, not wanting to let you go.

"You have nothing to apologize for, pretty girl" Bucky shrugged, loosening his hold in case you wanted to get off but your doe eyes darted around instead, settling further in his lap. "You really are like sunshine"

"You're very charming, Sargent" you smiled bashfully while Bucky chuckled, his heart beating erratically in his chest when your hands came up to toy with the tags that hung around his neck.

"Would it-would it be if I kissed you?" He whispered shyly, blushing when you nodded, pressing his soft lips to yours. Bucky took his time kissing you, pouring every ounce of his feelings with soft touches, holding onto you like porcelain.

"Everyone's waiting for you sweets" Bucky gave you a gentle squeeze, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes, hoping that you'd still want to go to your own party. "Would you like to go downstairs?"

You slinked off Bucky's lap to get ready, the soldier watching you with heart eyes the entire time you did your hair and makeup. He knew he had a lot to make up for, starting with the fact that he'd never hurt you again. He was still upset with himself for ever hurting you in the first place but he was ready to protect your innocent heart for the rest of his life. His breath hitched in his throat when you finished applying the last of your gloss, blushing when you slipped your hand into his so he could lead you down.

"Theres our cupcake!" Tony grinned when he saw you approaching, the rest of the team cheering making you giggle. Steve smirked seeing Bucky follow closely behind you in protective mode, keeping his hand around your waist. He spent the entire time, doting on you, following you like a lost puppy.

By the end of the night, he had you in his lap again, shamelessly looking at you with heart eyes while the rest of the team watched curiously, his sole focus on you.

"Happy birthday sweet girl" Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek while you nuzzled into him with a shy smile, "My little sunshine"

-

Now imagine Bucky doesn't quickly get over the fact that he was a dick. Sure you forgave him because you're an absolute sweetheart but Bucky can't even deal with the way he'd acted, especially when he had a crush on you the entire time and just refused to acknowledge it, acting like a cunt instead.

He's the most lovestuck boyfriend to ever exist. Your office is always full of fresh flowers. He's a clingy little puppy, outside of the medwing until your done, always finding excuses to sneak in and see you. You had to tell him a papercut wasn't a good enough reason for him to request your services.

Neither was a stubbed toe.

The time he nicked himself while shaving was the worst because he was pouty until you kissed him better.

He slips his dog tags around you, his possessive/jealous side occasionally sneaking out.

He doesn't even hide the fact that he's a simp for you, knowing he's the luckiest person on the planet to get the sweetest person in the world. He shows your off like no tomorrow, proud of the angel he gets to call his.

He absolutely loved his sunshine.

[kaiaelsher]

—color theory.

Summary: Surely the marks he's left all over your body, especially on your neck that is unable to be covered by your oh-so-charismatic Hunter Unform aren't going to disappear out of shame to follow common public decency by itself, so of course Rafayel is going to help.

Contains: rafayel/reader, grammatical errors, fluff, estabilished relationship(?), clingy and down-bad rafayel, but you're just as down bad as he is, suggestiveness (they were having it the night before), but nothing more, and ... self-insert?

Notes: i'm doing this because a scenario suddenly popped into my head so ... here's a kinda short fic? I guess?

Last night was the night.

It was when you truly feel like you've became one with Rafayel.

It doesn't mean like you feel disconnected from him before, but like two strings that was twisting around each other for what felt like an endless amount of time - the ends of the string finally tied together last night, bond that cannot be changed is no longer one-sided. That's how you feel, and you know for real that the Lemurian who is now half-sulking before you felt similiar.

"Should you really go today?" you can see how his straight pretty eyebrows - one of your most favorite features of him, by the way - is knitted together as his lips formed a thin pout. You are now sitting on the couch, hands working to button up your hunter uniform as you stared at the man before you fondly.

"I'll return here after work instead of my apartment," you offered consolation, and Rafayel crossed his arms.

Honestly, if it wasn't for Captain Jenna's urging for you to come, you maybe would have give in and said you were sick just to tangle with him within any area in this place, but unfortunately, the matter about aether core is not going to solve itself if there is no helping hand.

"It would be very mean of you if you don't after what we did last night," he replied, as sassy as he always have. If only you aren't feeling so loving towards him right now, you probably would reply with a sassy remark as well until he's left with silence filling his vocabulary, he took a peek of you through the corner of his eye, halfly mumbling, "of course you have to come back here."

God, you feel so cheesy, you know it, and maybe both your future and past self would immediately be cringed by how you acted as you smiled wider, barely holding back giggles, you acted like you are the side character from a rom-com drama who would worship the ground their partner walk on with all sorts of disgustingly cheesy words written all over your script for the sake of comedic relief, making the main characters be disgusted by how cheesy you are.

"Right, of course," you nodded, "I'll make sure to come back home as soon as my shift ends."

Home.

Just you so casually calling this place; in which he resides 'home' is enough to turn his mind into mush, Rafayel almost cursed himself through his breaths for being so easy for you, but at the end, it was and it has always been you, the girl who would recklessly stab then slice open her own chest to hand him her own heart if he says he wanted it.

He watched as you strode over the near-by vanity, sat yourself on it and grab a concealer, ready to dab them over the reddening small little circles on your neck - marks he's left all over you in exchange of how you have marked his very soul. Before his mind could muster up things, Rafayel immediately walked to your direction, his hand holding yours in place.

".... Rafayel?" you called out of confusement.

Does he want you to just walk around with these marks in your neck that screamed 'I just had a mind-blowing sex!' to everyone with eyes? You guessed.

Well, you considered it once more, it might be kind of embarrassing, but if Rafayel wants that to make people understand that you have someone (who is none other than him), then who are you to refus-

"Only concealer is not enough to cover that," he spoke, interrupting your mind, "you need a color corrector first."

-oh.

You cleared your throat and nodded in acknowledgement as you watch him walk over to some shelves.

Damn it. You feel so embarrassed with the way you're thinking things right now that you wish you could just smash your face to the mirror infront of you - at least the blood that would seep out through the glass' pierces would cover how you are blushing- are you blushing right now? Well, you don't know, you don't dare looking at the mirror after the embarrassment you brought upon yourself, you chose that you'd rather have your eyes locked onto Rafayel's direction.

Rafayel finally returned to your side with a green color corrector with its applicator in his hand, he lowered his posture to be face-to-face with your neck, and you yourself could feel the back ache he might be feeling after that. So this time it's your turn to wrap your hand around his wrist - holding his hand in place.

"Isn't it too uncomfortable in this kind of position?" you said in genuine concern, eyes meeting his, then it traveled to his back with the help of your tilted head, "your back might get hurt."

Rafayel almost feel offended. Hello? Do you somehow see him as an old geezer who can't even manage to bend just for a little amount of time? Do you forget how did he take you just last night? The man almost opened his mouth, but soon, upon realization of what kind of advantage could he take from this pure concern of yours, he feel a tug on the corner of his mouth, but he tried to resist.

"Hmm, you're right," he straight up his posture once more, his hand, that is currently holding applicator, touched his chin, displaying a fake consideration of situations. He furrowed his eyebrows, before then glancing at you with a new gleam in his eyes. "Then ..."

You were pulled up to stand from your seat before he sat himself on the plush of seat that was yours, then, you felt the familiar hands of his - but also the feel of product's packaging since he hasn't put them down on the table - on either side of your waist, lifting you (just to show how strong he is) and place you on his laps.

He looked up at you with mischievous glint in his eyes, juxtaposing the surprise in yours. Your hands reflexively placed on his shoulders.

"... this should be better, yeah?" the yeah came out in throaty whisper. "By the way, thanks for your very caring nature towards a very weak creature like I am, Miss Bodyguard."

".... I take it back," you said, expression changing. And Rafayel only chuckled.

"Uh oh," the man shook his head, "once someone have given me something, I won't let them take it back, and it also apply to you, don't think I would exclude you in any of my petty self-law just because I love you, cutie."

You scowled, but everyone in this room definitely know that the disdain you've been displaying since seconds ago were nothing but a mere pretense, you barely manage to conceal how much you actually like this situation, shown by how your hand now started to rub itself against his face, and Rafayel, as usual, tilted his head to follow your hand's direction, you know he knows.

You tilted up your head slightly the moment he started to apply the light shade of green- tea green? (you don't know colors' names, you'll start asking Rafayel later on) To spots on your neck attentively, luckily enough, your gaze still managed to find him through the lower corner of your eyes, from this angle, you realize how beautiful his lashes were. You've long known how fluffy his hair is, but your hand moved to touch it again to find out.

"Green cancels out red," he explained, "if you wanted to apply concealer on reddish marks like these next time, make sure to apply tea green color corrector first."

"Okay," you replied, "that means you'll leave reddish marks on me again next time, right?"

Rafayel blushed, and he cleared his throat.

"Pay attention," he warned.

"I am," paying attention to the blush on your ears, to the beautiful curl of your lashes, and to the beautiful tiny sways of your hair, you continued inwardly.

Gods, how you wished you could just stay like this forever until your bones might not recognize any positions beside when you're sitting on his laps.

[momentaryescape]

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Gibbs x Agent!Reader Warnings: Cursing Word Count: 1406 A/N- When I wrote this the vibe for Gibbs is similar to how he acts at the end of season 7 episode 23 when he is taking to the lawyer. It seems really specific but gives an idea for the vibe.

“Was any of it true?” The anger you tried to hide was boiling inside you. You thought you meant something to him. That it was real and not pretend. But here you were, standing in his living room feeling like a fool.

“You knew what this was. It was fun y/n, nothing more. I don’t know what made you think this would be anything but that.” Gibbs seemed like his normal emotionless self. Hell by the looks of it he seemed more annoyed you were bothering him with this conversation

“For months you would get mad if a guy even so much as looked in my direction. Tony brought me coffee and you dismissed him over some bullshit thing he didn’t even do. Mcgee gave me his coat after mine got fucked chasing down a perp and you ignored him for the rest of the case. So nothing my ass Jethro. You want to act like it was nothing but I know that deep down you felt something.” That was your breaking point. You grabbed your stuff before leaving his home, slamming the door on the way out.

~~~~~

“Hey y/n, everything good?” Mcgee gave you a questioning look.

“I’m fine.” You snapped.

“Ohhkay.” Mcgee’s seemed shocked at the outburst.

“Fuck. Sorry Mcgee. I had a rough night. I'm better now, some things have been cleared up.” You smiled back.

“Well if you want a different kind of rough, let me know.” You Didn't see Tony walk up behind you, his comment making you jump in your seat.”Here, brought you coffee.”

“Thank you Tony.” You shot him a flirty smile. Tony winked back at you before sitting at his desk.

Gibbs was watching the entire interaction play out from his desk. He knew what you were trying to do. The remarks of a rough night, the flirty look at Tony. You were trying to get under his skin. He hated it. Not just what you were doing but the fact that it was working.

It had been a few days since the moment you had in Gibbs’ living room. There hadn’t been any new cases the past few days, so the team was catching up on paperwork. Disrupting the silence, Gibbs slaps a hand on your desk.

“Can I help you?” You don’t even bother looking up, already knowing who it is.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Gibbs snapps through gritted teeth. Irritation clearly written across his face.

“Work Gibbs. I have a job to do and that's what I plan on doing.” You still hadn’t looked up from your computer.

“Agent l/n, I expect you to look at me when I’m talking to you.” His outburst drew the attention of everyone around. Questionable faces wondering what the hell was happening.

“Careful Jethro, people might think you have emotions, wouldn't want that to happen.” You looked up at him, clearly annoyed with his presence. Your quip had also clearly pissed him off.

“Leave.” His voice had a bite to it.

“Why? You're the one who came over to my desk, got annoyed I was focused and not looking up at you, and now you want me to leave? I get it, you're the boss man, but I still deserve respect. So give me one valid reason that I need to leave, aside from hurting your “feelings”.”

“Y/n-” Zive tried cutting in before things got more heated.

“Thank you but I’ve got this Ziva. I'm not scared of an emotionally immature man who thinks he can stab me with his words like pins. You want to act all big and bad, but we both know what you are.” You could hear a pin drop with how quiet it was.

“Thats it agent l/n. You need to leave, and until you can act like an adult don't feel the need to come in.” Gibbs was pissed. At this point he was practically yelling.

“Gladly. I would rather be anywhere but near the smallest man who ever lived.” With that you grabbed your bag, collected what you would need to finish your work from home and started toward the elevators.

~~~~~

Gibbs knew he had fucked up. Both in front of everyone and during the original fight. He had cared. He loved to show you off, but always made sure nobody the two of you knew could see. He was a private man, he told himself. But looking back you're the only person he hid. He felt ashamed. You were younger, happier, all the things he wasn't you were.

And now here he was, at your front door. He straightened his stace before knocking on the door. At first he thought you might not be home, but that thought was whipped away when he saw your frame in the open door. He heard you scoff, before asking him what he was doing there.

“I wanted to apologize.” He stated with a small hint of softness.

“Really?” You were calling his bluff.

“Yes, I had no right to yell at you in front of everyone. We should've talked privately.” You rolled your eyes at his statement.

“Yeah I tried that with you, remember? What was what started thin. I wanted to talk and you acted like it was nothing. I'm over it. I can deal with arguments, but being pretty much getting told I was delusional for believing that we had something killed any spark I had.” You meant every word.

“I’m trying here y/n.” His plea fell on deaf ears.

“Next time don't think “I’m sorry” will fix all your problems. You're a grown man Gibbs, act like it.”

“Its always the dramatics with you isn't it?” You scoffed at his remark. “Listen, I meant what I said. What we had, it was great. I’m sorry I said it was only fun. I had feelings for you, but we both knew it wouldn’t last.”

“Why not? Was it not fun once it wasnt forbidden? Once we were seen together was the thrill gone?” You thought back on all the times he would make excuses not to be seen with you. You felt stupid.

“Don't act like you didn't know that this was only meant to be between the two of us.” He knew he was pushing your buttons, but he kept going.

“Are you that ashamed of me? Years of friendship, months of passion, and after that you still hide me away. I don't want to be some secret.” You wanted to smack his chest, cause the same pain he caused you.

“Do you not understand what would happen if they knew? How many rules I broke every time we were together?” He was yelling at this point.

“You know what the saddest part was? I would have died for you, but instead I just died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't serve the time.” You felt hot tears fall from your eyes. The realization you allowed yourself to cry over him fueled your anger. “It's over Gibbs. No second chance. No “it's different this time”. And no more acting like I’m nothing. We still work together. And as much as I would love to say "Good riddance", I love my job too much. I will take punishment for the show he had in the office, but I will not let you take my career.”

He didn’t say anything, he just looked at you, trying to read your expression. Without saying anything you walked to the door, opening it. A silent tell for him to leave. Taking in a slow deep breath you turn to face him. “Leave Gibbs, please.”

“I understand you're hurt y/n, and I know I'm the reason. I will still have your back, and I will still be your boss. But for both our sakes, I think it's best we keep the rest of the details between the two of us.”. You watched him walk out your door, down your steps to his car, and drive away from your home, shutting the door when you could no longer see him. And just like that it was over. No more late nights after cases where you end up in bed together, mornings shared over fresh coffee, and one less friend. Maybe some day the two of you could be friends again, but as for now that wasn’t something either of you wanted, or more realistically could handle.

[starrybl1ss]

burning desire౨ৎ

⋆｡°🕯️✩.˚₊

stu macher ghostface!abby x billy loomis ghostface!ellie x sidney prescott!reader

໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

<;> importaint info (please read) Hii! Sooo, the storyline of the fic is abt this part in the scream 1 but i changed it up a bit! ౨ৎ warnings: threesom, mention of blood, murder, smut, fingering, knife play, betrayal??, both psycos eating u outtt, pet names, swearing, trauma, death threats, angst, dead body but not really??? begging

꒰୨୧꒱

The night was a total horror, it just all started from the woodsboro murder of casey becker, the girl from your school and now it has turned into a nightmare to you and everyone else.

All the murder that the anonymus serial killer in the ghostface mask has done. Your friends, dead. It's all a tragedy,

The aftermath of the party at abby's is all fucked up. Now your running around for your life inside abby's house, terrified.

Your currently upstairs. Now your running down the stairs, sweat and blood all over you.

Your heartbeat felt like it stopped when you saw dina on the living room floor with blood all over.

You start sobbing. "O-oh my fucking g-god! Dina?!" You yelled while breathing heavily.

You quickly looked up as you heard a noise so your ran as quickly as possible towards the kitchen trying to hide when you bumped into abby.

"Woah, woah you 'kay?" She asked you. You panicked around and finally replied trying to catch a breathe "F-fuck, t-the killer is... is.. is fucking here, Dina's dead we need to call the cops and get the fuck out of here abby!"

You heard a noise and looked back quickly as you saw... ghostface.... standing there. You shrieked "FUCK, ABBY LETS GO!"

"shhh, calm down" she insured you. "ARE YOU MAD? THERES A KILLER INFRONT OF US" you shouted at her getting ready to run.

Suddenly, the killer took off the mask and... and... ellie?! "Suprise babe" she said grinning. "WHAT THE FUCK ELLIE?"

You were in horror. "ABBY WE SHOULD FUCK OFF AND RUN" as abby hugs you from behind, she grabbed something from her pocket, a soundbox...

She turned on the soundbox and began speaking. "Hello, y/n" with the terrifying voice that you have heard so many time through the phone before getting attacked.

"SHIT, ABBY LET ME GO PLEASE" you cried out. abby doesn't answer. Ellie got closer and lifts up your chin. "You thought i could do this fucked up game alone huh?"

Ellie lets out her hand as abby game the voice box to her. She turned the voice box on "wanna play a game..... y/n?" She laughed madly. She sounds like she has lost her mind.

"please.... Just fucking let me go..." you begged. Abby whispers in your ear "how bout we draw a little blood first?"

"god, please no... let me go please" you helplessly sob. Tears falling down your cheeks as ellie whipes them off. "It's okay babe, we'll be gentle" as her sweet caring smile turns into an evil smirk.

"Fucking hell ellie, i thought i trusted you" you said. "I know, i know im sooooo sorry babe" she whispers while holding you. Her left hand on your shoulder and right hand on your hips.

"i should have let you rot in jail until your execution day" you sobbed. "You'd miss me if i was gone doll" ellie said.

"See y/n? Wont you miss her if she was gone? Counting down days until she gets executed and die? You wouldn't want that right pretty?" Abby said still holding you back.

"I would, but now i wish you two were fucking dead" you replied with anger. "What if your the one whos gonna be dead tonight doll?" Ellie walk around slowly around the kitchen.

"Fuck you." You yelled while still trying to catch a breath. Ellie gets closer to your body. "What was that? You don't need to act so bitter babe"

"dont ever call me 'babe' again you fucking bitch!" You shout at her. "Remember i have a knife right? I could stab you and gut out your insides anytime. But i won't"

Ellie pulls out her knife as you try to flee from abbys arm but it was impossible, she was so strong. "FUCK YOU BITCHES LET ME GO!" you screamed.

Ellie drags the side of the knife around your bare stomache as you were wearing tight croptop. You felt the cold sensation of the knife on your skin without drawing any blood but is enough to make you panic.

"you look so pretty like this doll" said to you grinning. You were breathing heavily but her words somehow made you blush.

"Awh, your so cute" she teased dragging the knife lower down your stomache. "F-fuck..." you said as your skin gets cold due to the knife.

"Dont worry pretty, ellie's knife is clean. She hasnt killed anyone with it" abby insured you.

Ellie circles the side of her blade on your lower stomache with you closing your eyes. "Don't pretend that you dont like that" she said teasingly.

She stop and slides down the end of her blade carefully down your shorts without making you bleed. You whimper softly from her actions.

"S-shit dont fucking stop" you said desperately. Abby grabs your chin and starts kissing you as ellie drops her knife on the floor and unbutton your short jeans.

Now your just gonna let two psycopaths to ruin you rather than gutting your insides, enexpected but you enjoyed the thrill of it.

It was like 5 minutes ago that you were screaming, begging and shouting telling them to stop but this time you'll be doing the same but differently.

Ellie takes off your jeans leaving your panties on as abby lets go and sits down. Ellie pushes you like a fucking ragdoll throwing you down on abby's lap as you groan.

Ellie squats down infront of you still in the mysterious black coat. She pulls down your panties to your lower knee as you let out a small gasp.

"Fuck, you get soaked real quick babe" you were avoiding eyes contact from the tense when suddenly you felt her two fingers right in you.

"Sh-shit..." she whispered. She then curled her fingers that made you arch your back "ah- fuuuckkkk!" You groan out.

She pulls out both her fingers out of you. "N-no, no pleaseeee dont stop!" You cried out. "Don't worry babe, im not planning to anyways"

She quickly opens up your legs. Her face got closer to your soaking cunt. She gave you small licks around as you grabbed on to abby's thighs.

Then ellie totally eats you out like she was almost starved to death. "mmphhhh! Fucking hell! Shitshitshitshit- a-ah!" You yelled out.

"Fucking hell ellie, move out of the way its my turn to fuck the living shit out of her" as abby stood up and pushes ellie out of the way.

Ellie drops down and tumbles to the floor. "WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM ABS? IM GONNA FUCKING STAB YOU IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT YOU SLUT" ellie yells at her.

"Yeah, you can stab me later after i fuck the brains out of this stupid girl" abby replied.

Abby starts kissing and making out with your sloppy cunt aggresively. Her saliva mixed with your juices. "ngghh- shoot im gonna fucking cum!" You shouted.

"Fuck this abby, i want her to cum on my stupid fucking face. IM HER FUCKING GIRLFRIEND! MOVE" ellie pushes abby and quickly eats you out.

A loud groan leaves your mouth as you came all over ellie's face making her satisfied. "Okay, now can you move?" Abby asks ellie in an annoyed tone.

"Fine whatever" ellie rolled her eyes and moved back. Abby sudenlly flips your body bruising you a bit. "The fuck abby? Could you be more careful with her?!"

"Shut up" she replied. Abby pulls down her pants revealing her black strap-on. Oh fuck- i mean its so big... if you could see it you'd probably think i wont fit at all.

Without hesitation, abby shoves her strap in you causing a little shock to you. "Fuck abby!" You yelled out.

She went back and forth. Fast, and i mean fast. You felt like she was about to cut you in half. Not like she hasn't tried doing that to you in more brutal way.

Abby looks at ellie. "Won't you just sit on her fucking face?" She said smirking. "Sure she could breathe?" Ellie asked grinning. You managed to choke up some words "Please just fucking sit on me"

"Your so desperate. Getting all nasty to be fucked by literal serial killers" ellie said holding your chin so you could face her. then she kissed your lips.

Abby got off of you and flipped your small body again from the floor.

Ellie took off her coat, her pants.... and her boxers. She went on top of your face, hovering on top of your lips. Your lips are just a few inches from her cunt.

Then she sat on your lips, bumping her clit on your cute nose, huffing. You twirled around her cunt. "Oh fuck..." ellie groaned.

Suddenly you felt someone breathing on your cunt. Thats when you knew abby was already under you, licking your fucking wet cunt.

You moaned into ellie's cunt from the action. Ellie stopped and when off you.

She kissed you on the lips and whispered into your ear "you know we're not done with you right, doll?"

The night would never end. Maybe it will, if the god damn cops caught you getting your brains fucked out by two serial killers.

౨ৎ

KAY THIS WAS NASTYYYY ANYWHO IM SOOO PROUD OF THIS AND SO HAPPY THAT I COULD POST THIS TODAYYYY!!! Lately been sooo obsessed with scream like i wish i watched it sooner!!!!ALSO PLS DONT ASK WHAT HAPPENDS TO DINA NEXT LIKE GIRL GOT STABBED AND IGNORE THE FACT THEY DID A FUCKING THREESOME NEAR DINAS (dead??? Idfk) BODY. LETS JUST HOPE SHES OK😭

[ohwaitimthewriter]

The Memory Keeper

Chapter 5: Legacy.

Pairing: Noa x human!reader

Warnings: Description of character death. Description of injuries. Some violence.

Words: 5.6k+ (like... how??)

Summarize: A woman, allowed to live as long as the virus keeps running through her body, living on autopilot for 260 years, is going to see her life takes a new turn, finding hope in something that might come to put an end to her wandering.

A/N: For the love of God, IT IS FINALLY HERE! And don't ask me how he knows about Picasso. He just knows. (Nope, I'm not talking about who you think I'm talking about). I hope you'll like it!

Enjoy your reading 😊

The Memory Keeper Masterlist / Planet of The Apes Masterlist

Narrating wasn't the problem. It never had been. Even if the tears always joined the party and your throat formed such tight knots that it became difficult to form the necessary words. You'd done it before, years ago, you'd done it.

"Where is he?" Noa had asked. "Dead." You had answered, in a whisper.

You were vigorously plucking, blade by blade, the grass you had been sitting on. Each blade pulled from the ground stood for every tear your body wanted to cry, but which you swallowed before they could form.

You didn't really understand why he wanted to know when you had told him you'd found a horse for him, that it would only take a few days, just a few days, and then they could both, he and Raka, go about their business.

So why did he want to know?

At that simple word, you noticed that his eyes were searching for something in the depths of his thoughts, and he suddenly crouched down in front of you, almost waiting for you to unravel the whole story of this Caesar. This Caesar whose name he had already heard through the masks, through Raka, but who made no sense to him when it came to you. This Caesar who had to be someone else. This Caesar who couldn't be the previous two.

Noa watched as you mentally counted the blades of grass you plucked from the ground and tossed a little further. Your eyes were telling a story. And with the short time he'd spent with you, he knew how rare it was. But this Caesar could obviously work miracles, and that made him curious.

You knew that Noa was tilting his head more and more, as you tried to lower yours even further to the ground, almost wishing you could dig a hole and bury yourself in it to prevent him from watching a film you'd like to forget. The heavy images in your head acted like weights, and gravity became a constant struggle not to curl up completely on the ground.

…

Dead.

And those heavy images that kept flashing by. Such heavy images…

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

You had seen him fall.

Maurice at his side, one hand desperately stroking Caesar's leg, almost as if for comfort, who had just collapsed on one side. The lifeless body. The soothed face.

The smile you had flashed just a second earlier dropped as your blurred vision took over, and you suddenly felt as if you were drowning.

Maurice sang a series of hoots in such distress that it didn't take long for the apes to realize what was happening, as Rocket rushed to Caesar's lifeless body. You had wanted to do the same, running to him, trying something, a cardiac massage, blowing air into his lungs, anything, but your legs wouldn't let you.

Because they knew better.

So they gave up on you. You ignored the pain of your knees hitting the rocky ground. Your eyes searched frantically for his as if he were suddenly going to open them and reassure everyone that he was all right. And the more you tried to see his green eyes again, the more your throat tightened into a knot so intense it hurt. The walls of your throat twisted with such force that swallowing became impossible.

He was going to open them. He had to. He must open them.

But seconds passed like minutes without anything happening, and a stab slowly sank into your chest, forcing you to tighten your arms around it as you refused to take your eyes off Caesar. The sharp pain coursing through your body took its time to twist your stomach, and a sob churned in your mouth, unable to escape.

If his eyes didn't open, maybe you'd see his ribcage rise. Maybe you'd catch a glimpse of his lungs, hidden behind the muscles of his chest, gasping for oxygen. Maybe you'd missed it, so if you lingered long enough, maybe you'd see his chest inflate, if only a little, just a tiny bit… " Inflate, please inflate" you addressed it in silence, wishing that his ribcage would somehow prove to you that he was still there.

But his thorax remained silent.

Then your eyes travelled back to his face. And there was no longer any doubt. His features, so familiarly hardened by a scowl that naturally stuck to him after all those years of fighting, protecting and providing for his clan, had relaxed into a serenity that had belonged only to Cornelia, only to his sons, to behold. A serenity that Caesar, on occasions when you respectfully teased the hell out him, would secretly grant you.

There could be no more doubt as your tears spilled down your cheeks, unable to move in front of Caesar, in front of the one who had decided to keep you safe.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

On the rare days when you were reminded that you'd never see again the green eyes of the ape who had accepted you as one of his own, you wondered if there was anything you could have done. Maybe if you'd pushed harder on your leg muscles, even if it meant straining them, maybe you could have taken action and tried to bring him back to life. If you'd seen the crossbow bolt embedded deep between his ribs earlier, if you could have removed it… And as is often the case, with "ifs" a whole world could be remade.

You kept pecking at the blades of grass with your fingers, and as you didn't seem to want to delve any deeper into the story being told behind your veiled eyes, Noa decided that maybe you needed some help to talk.

"How?"

Noa was careful with his words, lest you shut down entirely and the emotions he could easily read on your face fade back into oblivion. It was easier when he could see your emotions, because he could adjust his attitude accordingly and skillfully get what he wanted.

You signed a single word to him, not finding the heart to pronounce it, "killed."

The wheels of his brain began to spin and Noa suddenly wondered if your Caesar hadn't been killed like his father had been, by the same apes who had plundered his village. The same apes he was trying to find to bring his clan back home, whatever the cost. The pieces of the puzzle were beginning to fit together in his head. He wanted to know the story, he was becoming almost impatient, perhaps lacking empathy for the loss you had suffered and which obviously affected you greatly, but he was eager to know if he was right in his train of thought.

His eyes were drawn to your hip, on which you seemed to be leaning less in your cross-legged position. He had the impression that it was higher up, while your posture was slightly tilted to the left, as if your pelvis on the right was raised by an inch or two.

What if you'd been injured when your Caesar died?

Noa moved his arm up, and the movement drew your eyes to follow his hand, slightly folded in on itself, as it pointed to your hip.

"Wounded." he observed. "When your Caesar died?"

Surely, if you confirmed his words, it would be one step closer to the accuracy of his hypothesis.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Screams. Piercing. Human. It didn't take overdeveloped hearing to hear them, and Koba gloated at the thought of a human suffering.

It hadn't been his first intent to go and check. Caesar had asked him to keep an eye on the outer perimeter of the forest to ensure there were no intruders, and that was exactly what he intended to do. At least, until those cries disturbed his watch.

A human female.

The agony that struck his sensitive eardrums was only a few hundred meters away, and he would have liked to have left her where she was, no matter what happened to her, the piercing pain of her groans made it clear that she would eventually lose her life, and consequently she was no threat to the colony.

Koba began to move from branch to branch when a deep voice, this time a male, bellowed angrily, and suddenly the sobs echoing through the valley seemed to be muffled.

This, however, was more annoying.

The leather around your wrists, head and ankles was sticking to your skin. Drops of sweat beaded on your forehead and puddled around the strap that sheared your skull. You felt like your skin was burning under the leather edges and you swore that the moment they took it off, your skin would stick to the torturous object, peeling off like the skin of an orange. You could only grit your teeth at the thought.

Tears mixed freely with sweat and you weren't sure which one was burning your eyes. All you knew was that the drops were tumbling down your temples and pooling in the hollow of your ear before cascading in a tiny waterfall down your lobe and crashing onto the surgical table that supported your body.

You stared up at the blurred ceiling above you, and even if you wanted to look away, the leather strap around your head prevented you from making any movement.

It would soon be over.

You reassured yourself as best you could, the scientists' words still engraved in your mind:

"What if… we combined?" One of them had suggested as if you weren't already there in the room. "Combined?" asked his colleague. "Dislocated knee and fractured hip." Explained the first. "We know about dislocation. The tissues regenerate in 2 days if we put the limb back where it belongs, and in 4 days if we let it hang."

The second explained, laughing as he recalled an experiment that was successful for him, but a disaster for you, "The other day, Weston even had the idea of tying a rope to her dislocated elbow to see if the pull exerted would make healing longer or impossible, and this dumbass almost succeeded in making her lose her elbow!" he sneered. "She must have had a tough time of it!" The first man's eyes widened, but he couldn't help chuckling. "She's being paid for it." The second man shrugged.

Paid for. As if you'd had any choice. That day when the ALZ-113 test came back positive. That day when, to the utter disbelief of everyone in the room, including you, they'd gone ballistic, because how could it be? How could you be positive for this virus without any symptoms? Without degrading yourself mentally? Physically? How could you still stand up and not cough your lungs out?

You were only supposed to be immune. You were part of the group that had been commandeered for several months to try and understand why some people couldn't be infected. This group of people selected after lengthy observation following exposure to the virus.

For 3 months. 3 months with a virus test at the end of each.

1 month of exposure to the virus.

No symptoms. Test. Test negative.

1 additional month.

Still no symptoms. Test negative.

1 last month.

Free of symptoms. Test.

Positive.

And the panic was on.

Human vileness hardly surprised you anymore, but these scientists were bound to receive some awards for their cruelty.

"Okay, here's what I propose, we try the hip dislocation but we're going to offer a bit of a challenge to the body." The second man replied. "A challenge?" The first one asked. "You're new to this program, so you don't know everything yet, but we've taken it to the next level, no longer trying to find out what the virus regenerates or how it does it…"

The second scientist then grabbed a hammer from the makeshift workbench set up earlier, and your pupils suddenly dilated at the sight of the tool swinging at the end of a string, dangling from the scientist's finger. Your blood ran cold and tension began to contract all your muscles, unconsciously preparing for the shock.

"We're looking for the limits." The scientist concluded, gripping the hammer handle firmly. "I… I'll get the anesthetic." The first scientist stated, however the more experienced one stopped him. "It only wastes the product. Remember, the virus regenerates any cell it considers sick or dead."

Oh, and how you wished with all your being that you could just fight back and rip off those straps whose leather had become all too familiar to your skin. Today, it was going to hurt. You knew it, it wasn't new, it always hurt and your only line of defense was to grit your teeth and pray that it would happen quickly. But that hammer. Oh you could only imagine, no, your body already knew how much raw, stabbing pain it would cause. Even a stab was more bearable. Even before the flat of the hammer made contact with the targeted part, you could feel your bones cracking and shattering. Each splinter of bone would sink into your muscles, your inner epidermis, and why not shear off the more protuberant veins running along your thigh and hip.

You could feel your muscles tensing in anticipation, to the point of twisting the joints of your pelvis, as if your body were trying to hide as far as possible those bones already well protected under the layer of muscle, fat and skin that formed a bulwark between them and the outside world.

The two scientists must have thought you were a ridiculous worm, squirming to get your body away from their painfully intrusive hands, but the straps were doing their job. The tinkling of the straps, as you tried to remove your wrists from their grip, drew the attention of the scientists, who stared at you scornfully. A ridiculous worm that could not escape the boot that would crush it.

The first impact ripped through your flesh and your face contorted into a grimace, a taste of iron spread through your mouth and the pressure you exerted on your jaw to keep it shut sent a shower of needles down your cheeks and up to your temples, where the blood was pounding a beat that made you wish you could bang your head on the floor.

You didn't want to give them the pleasure of hearing your screams. Not now, not on the first blow.

If they wanted to hear them, they'd have to come and get them.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

It may have been a long time ago, but the memory remained imperishable. How could it be when it was responsible for your constant limping.

Your body had been through a lot. But it had always been able to repair itself, patch itself up and regenerate every part, every cell, every bone in such an admirable way that you sometimes doubted you'd ever really been harmed.

But there was still this hip. A little wobbly, a little too rigid. And the screams. Oh, the screams, they had finally got them, and the delight on their faces left a bitter, vomit-inducing taste in your mouth.

In your fervent desire to strip the earth of its blades of grass, you had grabbed a flower stem and were working hard to remove each petal. A quick tug, a hammer blow, another quick tug, another hammer blow. Eighteen. You had counted eighteen.

The silent conversation you were having with yourself was mind-boggling to Noa. If he'd known earlier that fixing your frame was going to give him such an outpouring of expression and life from you, he'd have taken it upon himself to break it and fix it in the process much sooner.

If he had done so, maybe he'd never have had to deal with the wave… no, the tsunami of emotions he had never really been ready to receive. It was yet another piece of the puzzle he was missing. How could an Echo be both so unexpressive and yet overflowing with feelings like a river after a big storm?

Noa almost wanted to come closer, still crouching down, wanting to force you to answer his question as if he could pull the wool over your eyes with his mere proximity. "Tell me I'm right." That was what he wanted most when he hadn't even shared his train of thought with you. Because if he was right, your behavior would have found a logic.

The despair of seeing your world crumble helplessly.

The guilt of not having been able to protect.

The shame of not having been strong enough.

Emptiness, faced with the inert body of a loved one.

This would make sense to Noa because he himself had felt them. But his entire pyramid of thought collapsed in a single one of your sentences.

"No, before I even knew him."

If Noa could have cut into your skull to see what was going on inside, you were sure he would have. Noa squinted, trying to make sense of a story for which he had only scraps of words.

"Where's his clan?" Noa attempted another question and to his surprise, your answer was quick to ring in his ears. "I don't know, I left."

Oh.

It would have taken a trained eye to notice, but Noa puffed out his chest slightly, proud to have asked the right question. You'd had a life before living with his clan for a while, at least, long enough to have such feelings when your Caesar died.

And then, his line of thought came to an abrupt end.

OH.

You. An Echo. Living with a clan of apes.

An Echo and apes, sharing the same living space.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Watching you go back and forth between the arms of the conscious and unconscious was quite enthralling for Koba.

Even though he could feel the bile rising in his throat, he had to admit that you had put up a good fight. Your human vanity had been far too great to succumb so quickly to your abusers. If the men in white had come to a tragic end under Koba's murderous fists and fangs, he hadn't been shy about admiring for a while the sadistic game those men had started with you.

There was nothing more delectable than watching a human suffer, and Koba was quite in awe of humans' boundless creativity when it came to torture.

He could just as easily kill you. It would have been easy in such a vulnerable state, but where would the fun be if you didn't see him do it?

The terror he'd been able to read in the eyes of these men dressed in white had only been an appetizer, like the hazelnut that crunches under the tooth to whet the appetite.

The screams. It was a feast he'd relished in. Koba took care of it. He'd wanted to hear them scream like he'd heard you rip your lungs out in pain.

Koba squinted at the thought. No, it had nothing to do with you. It had nothing to do with seeing your hands and feet bound and pinned to a table the way he had been. It had nothing to do with the fact that the current state of your pelvis looked like a Picasso painting and that the scars, if and only if, he let you survive, would match those scattered across his body.

No.

He'd wanted to hear them scream because they were men wearing white. Humans who had mutilated him. Because they were human.

A whine.

Koba turned his gaze to your face. And what a satisfying sight it was. He could read on your every feature the pain that had circulated through all your cells, a pain he imagined to be so deep that it had left its marks on the skin of your contorted face. Even in the unconscious, he could see the repetitive twitching of your body trying to digest the hammer blows it had repeatedly received.

To him, it was a painting, a work of art, and he might have wished he'd inflicted it on you himself, but not to observe other human beings, your bloodthirsty species, inflicting such suffering on one of their own would have been a real waste.

How ironic. As human as you were, it didn't stop them. No better than a laboratory rat… No better than the ape he was in the eyes of those men wearing white.

How ironic to let you live only to see you realize how insignificant you are to your own species. To the species that claimed to be superior. The idea of you, a human, realizing that even this had been taken away from you by these other humans, no matter who you were, what you had or hadn't done, was so pleasing to Koba's vengeance that he yanked each of the straps that held you to the table.

And Caesar? Oh Caesar will see. He'll understand Koba.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

"Raka… told me a story."

The hesitation in Noa's voice caught your attention and you slowly began to forget to peck at the blades of grass at your feet. What story? Your gaze, lost in your memories, landed on Noa, curious to hear what he had to tell you.

Noa found himself fascinated by the stubbornness of your irises to continue the story you were telling yourself, while at the same time showing your sudden interest in his words. He felt as if he were observing the depths of a river, its swirls warping the flora and fauna moving beneath the surface, with only the desire to plunge his face underwater and let him see clearly the life that lay there, without filters, without waves, without murky waters.

"Apes and… Echoes" he pointed to you with a wave of his hand. "A very long time ago… would have been like… you and your Caesar."

Noa watched your facial features pull back into a confused scowl. You said nothing. He wondered if you were inviting him to go on with his explanation or if you were silently passing incredulous judgment on a potential distant truth that he himself had felt, when Raka had told him stories of a past older than the elders of his village. After all, even if a clan of apes had shared a part of your life, it was very far from being standard practice in this world, and quite the contrary, you may have been the only Echo in the present world to have lived in such a way. It would come as no surprise to be suspicious of this potential truth, but Noa was sure that you were living proof that Raka might have been right about that distant past.

But to you, something was wrong. And you felt your neurons searching for connections that didn't yet exist, because it was more than obvious from your own experience that apes and humans had lived side by side. It wasn't an unknown story, or even a harebrained one, it was your story.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Perched on the edge of a boulder, your legs dangling in the air above the rest of the colony, you were quietly watching the apes go about their daily lives.

A month had passed.

A month, but it had really only been a week since you'd ventured outside the hut you'd been brought to to help your body heal.

Something was lurking in the pit of your stomach, a feeling you could hardly identify because it was so unstable. It grew inside of you and spread like water from a dam that had just burst, although you didn't know if you should really welcome it and let it settle in your veins so that it could nourish each and every one of your cells. And whatever that feeling was, whether positive, negative or a bit of both, it kept growing and trying to find its true nature.

This feeling had begun to feed on what it saw around you in the three weeks since you had regained awareness of your surroundings.

Distrust, in the green and golden eyes of some of the apes who passed by your hut.

Benevolence, in the leathery hands that took care to check on the progress of your healing.

Curiosity, in the gruff words that asked you questions to which you didn't have all the answers.

Hatred, in the growls that hissed through the sharp teeth shown to you when you dared a glance outside your hut.

And, above all, empathy, in the gentle, patient gestures made to ensure that no more pain would be caused to you as your body worked crudely to create bones and flesh previously ripped to shreds.

Three weeks. That's how long it had taken for you to be able to put one foot on the ground again and for your hip to weld to your pelvis. Your body had done what it could with what it had left. You knew you'd never walk the way you used to. You didn't need an X-ray or a CAT scan to feel the bone plate that had fastened the bone in your pelvis to the bone at the top of your femur.

You wondered what the scientists would call this new bone, their future pride and joy. Maybe Weston would take all the credit, after all, even if he wasn't the designer, he was the head of the program.

And this feeling, which continued its perpetual development, suddenly twisted your stomach. They couldn't give it a name if you didn't come back.

You snapped out of your thoughts when a low, guttural grunt drew your gaze to an ape crouching beside you.

Caesar. That was how he had introduced himself when you had regained consciousness.

You smiled at him before focusing your admiring gaze once again on the goings-on below.

"It's… amazing what you've done."

A low vibration emerged from his chest in a dull chuckle, and you didn't need to see it to know he was proud of the work he'd done.

"Not I, all of us."

You nodded keenly, but couldn't help feeling that he was being too modest, for if it hadn't been for him, all those apes would never have had the life they'd got here.

This plunged you into a form of nostalgia for a time that had not yet arrived, but which was taking shape a little more day by day. A time when humans would die out and the apes would continue to thrive, and you couldn't yet imagine to what extent.

"The world is going to change so much…" Your voice seemed lost in a distant future when the realization hit you. You turned sharply towards him, your right hip screaming insults through your nerve endings, "No, what I mean is…" you rushed to reply while massaging the painful part of your pelvis in a silent apology, "it's really fantastic what's happening to you all and it's a great thing but…" You paused in your clumsy explanation before resuming, your eyes busy looking at your fidgeting hands, resigned, "Sorry, that was stupid."

You suddenly looked up as Caesar took hold of your wrist. Cautiously, he stretched your arm slightly towards him, placing the palm of your open hand skywards. His grip wasn't meant to be aggressive; in fact, he was silently and gently showing you the best way to ask for forgiveness. You felt his leathery fingers glide confidently over your palm and you were so taken aback that Caesar, after accepting your apology, had to gently push your hand towards you to indicate that the exchange was over.

"The world… has already… changed." His baritone voice resonated right into your ribcage, and you observed him place beside you a wristband adorned with what looked like polished white stone. "But you can… learn."

The more you looked at the wristband, the stranger those little white stones seemed to you. You hardly dared to touch it, and you cast a questioning glance at Caesar, who was cautiously observing your reaction.

"Wha… what's this?" "Bones." He replied simply, pointing to your pelvis.

The bones from your pelvis. It took you a minute to digest the information, but that was all it took to understand.

The small pieces of bone had been carefully cleaned and gloriously adorned around this wristband woven from a bamboo stalk. Your bones, which had been bruised and abused in human hands, had been reassembled and treated with respect in the hands of an ape. A form of silent agreement that said: if humans have torn a part of you away, apes, if you were willing, could have it back to you.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Unconsciously, your hand had slipped around your wrist where the bracelet had rested there for years before being lost. Your fingertips remembered the asymmetrical outlines of the polished bones and the way the woven bamboo rods rolled across your skin, and it was hard to forget them after so many years of playing with them between your fingers.

It had been a long time since you'd thought about it, and if it had still been there, maybe you could have shown it to Noa and confessed that Raka was right, that it wasn't "would have been" but simply "was".

The issue wasn't to relate, but…

And you tilted your head to one side. Your eyes crinkled into a thousand questions that you couldn't formulate yourself and that remained on the tip of your tongue as if no words in any language could really translate them into something audible.

"H-How…?" You couldn't finish your question. "That's what Raka said… when I told him about the masks."

Noa was not sure whether he should tell you about the masks, or even why he had brought himself to your doorstep. And you'd never gotten him used to that intense stare of yours in four days. Now it was your turn to want to open his skull like you would open a Tupperware to see what was hidden inside.

You stared at him intently and caught his gaze turning to Raka, who was nearby looking after his horse.

Noa was looking for some form of escape, or even comfort, from Raka, who he felt was best placed to explain these things to you. But Raka wasn't looking at him. He couldn't help him out of the mess Noa had gotten himself into.

Noa stumbled over his words, not knowing where to start, but he sensed that you wouldn't help him collect his thoughts and translate them into words. But if you didn't want to help him make them audible, yourself far too confused and bewildered, he could always sign them to you.

"Long before, another Caesar… A different one from yours, too far away to be yours" And you straightened up, suddenly wanting to get closer to Noa, silently taken aback by his movements that you were slowly deciphering. "Raka said, the masks, they took his name." Noa went on signing, amplifying his gestures to make sure you understood. "To twist his words."

And the signs that followed left you speechless.

"Ape do not kill ape." Noa began, before going on with gestures seeming like an echo from the valleys of a mountain range overshadowing bygone days.

And as you stared at Noa, your irises detailing his every move in their sockets, you finally noticed.

How had you not noticed before? Surely too busy looking away, too busy drowning in lists, sinking into activities that had kept you bodily functional, too busy wanting them both to go away.

The scar on his right pectoral. Your vision blurred a little more at the signs you knew by heart, the signs Caesar had told you over and over again until they became second nature. All you could see were his hands, close to his chest, his scar in the background, and for a fraction of a second you could see him, Caesar.

Caesar signed to you the words he was so proud of, puffing out his chest like an insolent child after getting the top mark in an exam, so proud of the words he'd invented that he let out a confident growl, straight from his ribcage.

"Apes, together, strong." You whispered Caesar's words in the rhythm he was so accustomed to signing them.

And a tear beaded down your cheek as you looked up into Caesar's face, realizing at first glance that it was really only Noa.

Noa observed your cheeks gradually covering with tears, not really understanding what had just gone through your head, but he too was speechless. How did you know his words? And before he could ponder the question any further, your barely audible voice forced him to focus on what you were about to reveal, his first name rolling off your lips.

"Noa… There is no other Caesar."

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[fortpeat]

The scene that needs to be talked about !!!

This scene has my whole heart and soul I am telling you 🥺🥺. I don't even know where to begin !

I feel like we truly forget how young Mahasamut is and that it's Tongrak who's the older one but we see a lot of patience from Mahasamut and the bratty side to Rak we truly forget that Mahasamut is just 20/21 yrs old and he is so young 🥺

(Personally I don't like calling Mahasamut as Mut coz I hate that word and if I do end up calling it's mostly through chat just coz I am lazy to type his whole name or I might just end up calling him Maha 😂. Maha means great in a lot of languages but I know it personally coz it also means great in Sanskrit!)

In this scene we start with Mahasamut telling that he has used all his lifetimes luck to have Rak with him 🥺 and one of the things I noticed is how often Maha says "someone like me" 😭😭 for all his confidence there's still a part of Maha that feels like he is not worthy of Rak's attention/affection especially when he believes that he has nothing to give in return 🥺 and when he asks Rak not to leave it came from a moment of desperation but seeing the surprise on Rak's face he takes it back believing he has no right to ask that of Rak.

The shift in their dynamics is so clear in this scene coz we see Rak acting his age by telling Maha to act his age and to just ask and he keeps caressing Maha's face and hair lovingly and I wonder if Rak even realizes hes doing that. 🥹🥹🙏

And the hesitation on Maha's face the clenched fists it all shows the battle that is going on within him that makes him want to just shut down and not ask coz this is a boy who was thrown out by his own parents at the mere age of 15 just coz he shared his love for the ocean and his creatures. He has believed that unless he is contributing useful something to the table he has no right / place to speak his mind about what he wants or needs 🥺

When he says I have nothing to offer you, I think it was very important that Rak replied back with "I want nothing from you" like it's so important Maha had to hear that from Rak. In that moment all their "transactional" jokes were nothing but dust in the air. For Rak it's a way to tell himself that this connection between them is just coz Rak is paying Maha but everyone but Rak knows that it's not true. These two yes they annoy each other, they banter and flirt but they also have these deep conversations in the middle of the night while gazing at the stars and think "why the hell did I say all that to someone whom I have known for just 2 weeks"

"If I ask and you refuse I might never dare to ask anyone again" it's true you know once we open up to someone and then when they reject or say to that part of us we might never find the courage to be that vulnerable again coz the pain of that rejection feels like a stab to our heart. It's basically telling us that this soft vulnerable part of us is not worthy of love / care. So every time after that even if we want to be vulnerable there's still a part of us that goes " what if history repeats itself again, will I be able to pick up the pieces and go through that again"

The vulnerability in Maha's face as he keeps looking at Rak and tells him that he won't prank Rak or annoy him or wake him up early 🥺 like - "I will do anything as long as you stay" and Rak replying back with "you being you is what I need" Maha needs to hear that - despite being an annoying little shit it is that very same nature that brought Rak closer to him and trust him.

Does Rak even realise how in love he looks here. The adoration and fondness his eyes convey. 🥺🥺 Their smiles when Rak agrees not to go was so cute and then the kiss attack 😭😭 (reminded me so much of Paisky I am crying more now)

MY HEART 😭😭😭 TAKE IT WILL YOU...

I want to give a standing ovation for Fortpeat coz their acting in this scene was phenomenal 😭😭 it was so so good ! Fort my baby you have brought me to tears 😭😭 (is it just me who's thinking Fort cries so prettily 🫣🫣)

This episode was so wholesome and it was everything and so much more. Fortpeat in vulnerable scenes are a league of their own !!!!

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 30

ISAT/Two Hats spoilers below! CW: Mental Spirals, Shouting/Screaming, Resentment, Mentions of Abuse.

"... What is it, Stardust?"

"... Bonnie heard us earlier... they told everyone. I tried my best to calm everyone down, they just want to talk but..." [You freeze in place, you feel a pit in your stomach as your smile fades fully. Nille's hand carefully reaches forward, taking yours in it before she speaks.]

"It's time Vay... You gotta tell them the truth, I don't think there's any other way out of this." [You pull your hand back from theirs, taking a step back as you hold both your hands to your chest... No words escape your throat in this moment. You simply look between the two of them, looking like a cornered animal begging for a way out.]

"Vay, it's alright. We'll be there for you, but they're not gonna drop this without an explanation."

"O-Of course not~! Wh-What reasonable person would accept me stabbing their beloved family member~?" [You let out through a shakey voice. You try your best to smile again until the tears begin to flow, betraying your expression.]

"I won't let them turn you away, Vale! You deserve a place here with us!" [You can't help but let out a sharp laugh at that.]

"Is that what I deserve, Stardust? Because I'm pretty sure you already took that place from me~!" [SHUT UP! STOP TALKING YOU IMBECILE! YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO MAKE THIS WORSE!!]

"Loo-"

"NO! Do NOT call me that!!! You've taken everything else from me, the one blinding thing I have left in this forsaken world is my name!"

"... I'm sorry, Vale..." [He recoils from you, ducking into his cloak and stepping back. Nille steps closer in his place.]

"Vay, please, take a breath. We're trying to make the best of a bad situation. I know you're just lashing out cause you're upset."

"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW ME! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW ME?! I DON'T EVEN BLINDING KNOW ME!!! This personality I've been parading around as my own?! I made it up! For HIM! I gave up my life, my world, my family!! All so he could have it instead!!"

[You watch as he takes another step back, tears welling up in his eyes. He goes to speak but nothing comes out, just closing his mouth again.]

"Vale! Knock it off! What happened wasn't their fault!"

"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU UNDERSTAND! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE REPLACED!" [Nille's form tenses, her fists clenching as that comment seemed to affect her deeply.]

"... I wouldn't say that exactly." [She takes a deep breath, trying to keep herself from snapping.]

"You-!... You what?... What could you possibly understand about that?" [Your anger subsides partially for confusion.]

"Well, it's not like I was in a time loop or made a wish or anything... but when Bonnie first came around, it might as well have been like I didn't exist anymore..." [You roll your eyes at this, your trauma being compared to a simple sibling rivalry.]

"You don't know how this feels..."

"Maybe not exactly... but I know how it feels to be loved until you're not their 'perfect little girl' anymore... to be resented for being myself, for someone else to come along and receive all that love you so dearly missed..." [Nille crossed her arms, holding them and trying to keep from crying. Stardust is watching her with a shocked glance, it seems he hasn't heard this before either...]

"That... That's not the same..." [Your anger has subsided, but you still tried to keep yourself closed off.]

"Not quite... but I looked at Bonnie like that at first, the way you were just looking at Frin."

"... Then how did you get past that?... How can you look at them and see anything but that?..."

"The most important thing to remember is that they never asked to replace you... It's no fair to blame them when they were forced into that situation just as much as you were." [She steps closer again, carefully cupping your face in her hands and wiping your tears away.]

"Frin and I just want you to be happy, and by change, we're not gonna let anything get in the way of that, not even yourself you moron." [She teases as you can't help but chuckle softly. You bring a hand up to place on hers, yet you still can't stand to look her in the eye yet.]

"You can do this, Vay. You've been through so crabbing much. All you gotta do now is talk, that can't be that hard, right?" [You let out another laugh, this one a little more manic.]

"If it were, I'd never have been stuck in that time loop in the first place~." [Stardust chuckles a little at that too.]

"Gotta agree there, took a lotta years to be able to talk as openly as I can now."

"Thank Change I don't have to deal with both of you being like this now, not sure my hammer could deal with two thick skulls like yours." [You both laugh again before you take a few moments to try and compose yourself.]

"... Okay... Okay, you're right. It's time... I have to do this."

"We'll be there for you the whole time, Vay." [Stardust nods with a confident smile.]

"It'll be fine, I'm sure of it." [That makes one of us...]

---------------------------------------------------

[The three of you make the short yet agonizing walk back to the house they were all staying at. The Fighter was out front, waiting. His arms crossed and an upset look on his face, yet reserved as usual. Despite this, he regards you with a polite nod.]

"Vale... We've agreed to hear you out, and be civil. Though I'm sure you can understand how we all feel about this at the moment." [Stardust steps in front of you, almost defensively, while Nille remains beside you, hand on your back.]

"I appreciate the opportunity..." [Though that convenient path into the woods in our peripheral vision looks much more tempting...]

"Use it wisely." [He advises, it almost feels genuine even. You nod to him before he opens the door, letting you all back inside. The Researcher and Housemaiden were still there, comforting The Ki-... Little Flare. They take one look at you through teary eyes before jumping up onto their feet.]

"NO! GO AWAY! LEAVE STUPIDFRIN ALONE!!! YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!!!" [The pit in your stomach starts to feel more like a black hole.]

"Bonnie! Everyone agreed to hear them out, now please just-"

"NO NO NO! I DIDN'T! I DON'T WANT THEM HERE!!!" [They scream in defiance. As Nille tries to reach for them they dart for the stairs.]

"I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY'RE GONNA SAY!!! GET RID OF THEM!!!" [They shout more, stomping up the stairs to their room and slamming the door behind them. Nille gives a heavy sigh and rubs at her temple. You stand there, trying to make yourself look small, though your flashy outfit certainly doesn't help. The Researcher then speaks up.]

"That's probably for the best. It may be difficult to speak as openly with a child present." [She states, giving you an inquisitive once over, as if trying to size you up in this moment. Her stare feels like daggers stabbing into wherever she looks... The Housemaiden agrees.]

"Y-Yes, considering what sparked all of this, they probably should take some time to decompress."

"Right... Thank you all for giving me a chance... I apologize for being dishonest."

"You weren't the only one to lie to them..." [Stardust attempts to defend you again, of course by throwing himself to the fire as well... Nille guides you along onto the couch, both her and Stardust flanking you. You take a deep breath, looking at the other 3 before you. Their stares feel like they pierce your very soul. You avoid eye contact to make this easier. You feel Nille grip your hand in a comforting squeeze.]

"Whenever you're ready, Vale." [She gently encourages you.]

"... I'm going to tell you a story... About a traveler in a darkless cloak and hat... who joined a group of heroes on their way to save Vaugarde."

[astraystayyh]

Wait for me

Pairing : Bang Chan x reader

Genre : Angst and I mean ANGST

Warnings : hospitals, mention of terminal illness, it is implied that reader has cancer, major character death, talk about death, grief.

Please don't read if any of these themes trigger you.

A.N: Feedback is highly appreciated, i read and respond to each one of your comments and reblogs <3 they are what keeps me going!

-------------

When Chan vowed that he would love you through sickness and health, in life and in death, he meant those words with every part of his being. He just never imagined that the bad parts of his promise would arrive so soon.

But here he was, sat on a chair near your hospital bed. He can't remember the last time you both went home. Those depressing white walls are all he has seen for the past few months.

He hated hospitals, the smell of alcohol, the lingering dread in everyone's hearts, the shrill cries that echoed from time to time in the long corridors. But most of all, he hated what this place did to you.

He could do nothing but helplessly watch as the life was slowly sucked out of you. You tried so hard to stay positive, to reassure him that you would be fine; but no treatment seemed to be working, and the doctor's tone grew more desolate after each test.

And you? You've grown weaker. Your hands started to shake each time you attempted to caress Chan's cheeks. And they became so cold, it scared him at times, because the hands of someone alive aren't supposed be that cold. So, he held them in his large ones, blowing on them in a useless attempt to warm them up. Because he couldn't heal you, so the least he could do is warm up your hands. But his efforts were fruitless. Your hands remained cold, and your body remained sick.

Breathing felt like a chore to you, your body was giving up on you when you still had so much life flowing within you. And on days where your voice particularly betrayed you and you couldn't bring yourself to speak, Chan would talk for you. He would tell you stories, new ones and old ones you've learned by heart. His voice would crack and waver but he'd still speak, and you'd still listen.

Music always played in your room- to fill the empty silences and to conceal Chan's sobs in the bathroom. He never cried in front of you, he wanted to appear strong, for the both of you. But his puffy eyes and reddened cheeks always betrayed him.

You couldn't blame him for hiding himself, because you cried too when Chan fell asleep.

Or so you thought, because Chan never slept at night. He was afraid if he closed his eyes, you wouldn't be there when he woke up the next morning. So he stayed silent, as your tears dampened his shirt. He allowed you this moment of vulnerability. Because that is what the night does to you. It forces you to face the fears that you avoided during the day. Because when the sun is streaming through your curtains, and the birds sing outside of your window, you can't bring yourself to think about death.

But one night, you could no longer bear this weight alone. So you called out to him, and your painful sobs felt like a knife stabbing through his heart time and time again. “I'm so scared Chan. I try to act strong but I'm so scared. I don’t want to go”, you admit, clutching onto his arms tightly. You hoped that if your time had come, it would wait upon gazing at you and Chan. Wouldn't it be cruel to take someone's life when they are embracing their lover?

“You’re here, you’re still here. You’re not going anywhere,” he reassures, kissing your forehead gently. You still felt butterflies when he kissed you. You were still alive, you tried to remind yourself.

“Please- please don’t let me go,” you sob, and Chan smiles at you, his hand grazing your cheek softly. “Where will you go, darling, hum? You’re staying with me, I promise."

That night, you both knew that Chan made a promise he was bound to break. But at that moment you didn't care, sometimes white lies did feel better than the truth.

----------

The doctor told you three days ago that your body is rejecting the chemotherapy. "How long?" you asked and he smiled sadly, "a couple of weeks, at most."

What are a couple of weeks in the grand scheme of things? Nothing. They are fleeting, like a breeze that ruffles your hair for a second then quickly leaves you be.

You bitterly think back to the times when you had wished the weeks would pass by faster, not knowing that one day they will become your remaining lifetime.

-----------

Chan hated when you spoke about death. How your "if I die", turned into a "when I die". He didn't want to face it, so he shut you off each time with a kiss. "Later. We will talk about it later", he says, and you nod; although later feels much closer than it did yesterday.

Chan tries his best to ignore it, the impending doom awaiting you. He ignores death as it lazily walks up the hallway, as it enters your room, and sits right beside you. He ignores the dark shadow she casts on your face because he's afraid if he ever faces her, she would snatch you away from him.

But you can't let this go any longer, so one night, you turn down the music and pat the spot beside your bed. "Come here," you say.

Chan almost bolts out of the room. He didn't want to have this conversation with you. Because if he did, it would only be a matter of time before you left. He wanted to lie to himself; he wasn't strong enough to face reality.

Still, he sits besides you, because he loves you, and your smile renders him putty in your hands.

"I need to tell you something, Chan. But you won't stop me, promise me."

"Yn, I-", you cut him off, "Please, if you love me, you'll listen to me."

"Okay... Okay," he surrenders.

"I am dying," you say, tone firm. It felt weird to not whisper those crude words, to carelessly throw them like this in the open. But you wanted them to echo through the room. You needed Chan to accept them.

"It's okay. It's the truth, we can't change it," you smile sadly and Chan shuts his eyes forcefully, shaking his head left and right.

You gently hook your finger under his chin, urging him to look at you. "But you don't have to die with me, yeah? I don't want your life to stop because I am not near you."

Chan thinks that you weren't meant to be separated. Two people who love each other this much shouldn't be separated. They should live together happily and pass away in the same bed. A gentle death, a token of the soft love they once shared.

"When you'll... when you'll bury me," his sob cuts you off and you take in a deep breath. The word felt heavy on your tongue. It lingered in the air, stilling everything around you. He will bury you, there was no doubt in it. And you needed to say this while you still could.

"I want you to remember that it is only my body under the earth. I, the person you love, will still be with you. Here," you place your hand on his heart, "and here", you tap his temple with your finger. "I will live in there for as long as you have me."

Chan imagines that this is what it feels like to drown, to have your lungs slowly be filled with water with no means to escape. Because this is what your words did to him. They filled up his lungs, choking him from within. He could no longer breathe and you were still here, next to him. So how will it be when you are gone? How much more pain can a single human heart bear?

"Don't", he manages to utter through his tears, "I will never... I will never love anyone the way I love you."

"And I want you... I want you to love again. To feel again."

"Your heart is so big my Chan, don't close it off for my sake, please."

"Stop! Stop talking like this! Like you are already gone, I- I don't want you to go. Fight more, please. For us, for me. Don't give up on me," he begs, chest heaving from the sobs that ripple through him.

Chan buries his head in your chest and although it hurts, you let him. You try your best to thread your fingers through his hair, to make your hold feel safe and gentle. Because tonight, Chan needs you to be strong. Chan needs you to comfort him.

--------

The couple of weeks passed by. Each day filled with more pain than the last. You couldn't bear it anymore. All you felt was hurt and you hated it.

"I'm so tired," you confess one rainy night, and Chan looks up at you, dark circles adorning his face. "I know, my love."

"Will you be mad at me? If I go?" you ask in a quiet voice, eyelids slowly closing.

The look on your face haunts Chan. He wants to tell you that yes, he wanted you to stay for a little longer. But loving someone isn't about what you want, loving someone is putting them first. And right now, he needed to let you go.

"I won't. You can rest now, honey." You've always found Chan's voice soothing, but it is particularly gentle this night. His voice reminds you of honey, of walking barefoot on the beach, of the first snow of the year. His voice is everything good in this world. It will stay with you, his voice, long after it lulls you to sleep.

"Thank you, Channie. For loving me in this lifetime," you whisper and Chan smiles, although you don't see it, "I will find you in every lifetime and love you in each."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay. I'll wait for you."

That night, Chan snuggles against you in the tight hospital bed. As he brings your body to his, he wishes there was a way he could intertwin himself with you, this way wherever you went, he'll be there.

Your body is frail, and your skin is so pale he can see the veins protruding on your face. But you still look so beautiful. No one could ever rival you.

------------

"Hi this is yn! I'm sorry I can't answer you right now. Please leave a message after the beep".

* 3 days after the funeral

"Hey, baby. I'm bringing home the soup you like. Love you."

* 1 week later

"I- I broke down sobbing in the street today. I think it just hit me, that you are gone. That all I have left of you is this prerecorded message. It hurts, it hurts so bad, yn. And you aren't here to make it feel better. I want to go back to when I brought home your favorite meal, and I- I convinced myself you were just in the other room and you'll come eat it soon."

* 2 weeks later

"I can't do this anymore- Why did you leave? Why did you leave me here alone. I can't- I can't breathe without you, yn. It's too much, too much. Why did it have to be you? What about the plans we had, huh? The house we wanted to build together and the places we still haven't visited because we thought we had time? What am I supposed to do with all the 'what if's' you left behind? I- I wish it was me who died that day."

* 3 months later

"I didn't- I didn't call for a while. You are not mad at me, are you? I'm sorry, for being angry last time. I wasn't angry at you, you know? I could never. It's just... my heart hurts yn, it feels heavy, so heavy to carry alone. And I cry, I cry a lot. I think I may have ruined our sheets from how much I cried in them (chuckles). But, today I smiled. I thought of you, and I smiled. That has to count as something, right?"

* 5 months later

"It's your birthday today. I bought you roses, your favorite. But I don't think I will water them, you used to do that and I... I can't even take care of myself, yeah... I didn't- I didn't go to your grave to wish you a happy birthday, because you said that you are here with me. I just whispered it to myself, did you hear it, baby? You'll tell me all about it when we meet again, right?"

* 8 months later

"I forgot- I forgot how your laugh sounds. I woke up today and I couldn't remember it, and I- I don't want to forget, I'm so scared I'll forget because if you don't live in my memory then where are you? I'm still... I'm still hiding under the covers, I don't want to go out and face a world where I don't remember the sound of your laugh."

* 1 year and a half later

"It's been two years since we got married. But we've been together for five years now, isn't that amazing? I... I have something to tell you. I came to realize that although only one body was buried, two people have died that day. And I'm okay with it. I only exist to wait for when my time comes, and then I'll see you again. Wait for me."

* 2 years later

"I got the promotion I've been dreaming of baby. I think you already know that because it rained so hard as soon as I got out of work. It reminded me of the way your hugs felt, or how I think they felt. I don't really remember them. My therapist said it's how our mind copes with grief. But, I know that they felt safe and gentle. So I stood under the rain for 10 minutes, and now I caught a cold (chuckles). If you were here, you would have scolded me. You were always so protective of me, so sensitive and sweet. That's why I take back what I said a long time ago. Do you even remember? I don't wish it was me who passed away that day. I would never want you to go through the pain of losing me."

* 3 years later

"My heart still feels heavy, yn. It may sound silly, but I like it. Don't judge me (laughs). I just remember when you told me that you'll be with me, in my heart. So I imagine that the weight on my chest is the weight of my love for you. Pretty cool, right? You're everywhere with me. And I miss you. I miss you, a lot. I miss you so much. I- I can't wait to see you again. My pretty angel."

* 3 and a half years later

"It's my birthday, today. As a gift, I bought myself your perfume. I know, I know, I still have two full bottles but I'm taking precautions. I don't want to run out of it. Our friends are used to me smelling like you. Some of my coworkers even bought your perfume because they liked it so much. And now wherever I go, I smell you. It's funny, how they never knew you, and yet your life intertwined with theirs. You are everywhere, you aren't forgotten, baby. Someone like you could never be forgotten."

* 5 years later

" Hey, my love. Seungmin got married a month ago. I know, no one was expecting him to do it first. It was a beautiful ceremony, but not as beautiful as ours, but don't tell him that (giggles). Do you remember when you told me that you wanted me to love again? I think I did. I think I'm starting to love life again. I woke up and breathing felt easy. I heard the birds chirping right outside our window and I didn't hate them. I realized that I've hated them for the past five years because they were so alive and I wasn't. But I'm starting to live again. I just had some oranges and they didn't taste bland. And I think- I think I'm ready to live, for the both of us."

* 62 years later

"I think I might see you soon, my yn. You've been waiting for me, haven't you? Just like we promised."

[jinhyun]

↬part one.

"these days, i haven't been sleepin'

stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'"

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: written series, angst, fluff, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, she fell first but he fell harder, yearning, mutual pining, non-idol au, baker!y/n, movie producer!hyunjin.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: y/n has self-sabotaging tendencies, cursing, mentions of alcohol, eventual smut, mature content, MINORS DNI!!!

tag list: open. send me an ASK to be a part of it, otherwise i might miss it. i will only be adding people who are willing to reblog the chapters and/or comment on them, because it does take time out of my day to tag everyone and likes or straight up cricket noises do nothing for me in return if i'm honest.

a/n: so, here's the first part!! idk how long the rest will be but i feel like 4k is okay for now :'). some things were just lightly acknowledged in this part but don't worry, everything will be explained better later on. i hope you guys enjoy!

feedback is very dearly appreciated<3

"You look terrible".

You jolted at Seungmin's remark, feeling your heart race after he had crept up behind you while you focused on neatly placing the freshly made cupcakes in the showcase.

Without saying a word to him as you tried to calm down from the sudden scare, your eyes focused on the large Caramel Macchiato he had placed by you on the counter, smiling softly at his silent show of affection.

"A 'hello' would've been appreciated too, you know?" you hummed, straightening up and leaving the half-emptied tray on the counter before your eyes met your friend's unamused ones.

"I see you every day. Thought we were past hello's by now" he shrugged.

"Are we?" you scrunched up your nose.

"I mean, we should be because it's tiresome to—Just drink your damn coffee".

A throaty laugh escaped your mouth at his sudden exasperation, not waiting another second to follow his order and take a long sip of the beverage he had prepared for you, feeling your muscles relax as soon as the sweetness of it reached your tastebuds.

"Is it good?" he asked.

You rolled your eyes. "You already know the answer to that, you cocky bastard".

"Doesn't hurt to hear it every once in a while" he smirked proudly.

"What did I even do to deserve a coffee made by the Kim Seungmin anyway?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't ask me to make you at least three of these every day".

"Ask is the keyword" you pointed out, taking another sip of it.

He sighed, finally dropping the playful mood and leaning against the wall. "You seemed out of it…"

"Aww, were you worried about me?" you brought a hand to your chest.

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You didn't even hear me come in. I was literally right next to you making your coffee and you wouldn't notice. And your face is…"

"Do I look that bad?" you wondered.

Seungmin shook his head no, yet the concern on his face was clear. "Just tired as hell. Did you get any sleep?"

"Not really," you sighed, leaving the cup on the counter and running your hands over your face. "I'd say I got like three hours of sleep at most".

"Something happened?" he tilted his head.

You lowered your head, and that was all it took for him to read you like an open book.

"Did you get the invitation?"

You felt the air being punched out of your lungs at Seungmin's question. You had hoped that particular question wouldn't be asked at all that day. You had hoped the topic as a whole wouldn't be brought up. But it was Seungmin, you should've expected him to be up-front about it.

You sighed, nervously wiping your hands against your apron before turning around to head towards the cash register — with absolutely no other purpose than to avoid this conversation.

"Did you?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels. "Y/N, come on".

You said nothing.

The answer was so obvious, you wondered why he wanted you to confirm it to him so bad.

Had it been facing upwards all along, you wouldn't have felt your heart being stabbed by a thousand knives.

Of course you had gotten the invitation. It had been lying on the floor of your apartment all day, patiently waiting by the door for you to arrive.

It had been the first thing that caught your eye as soon as you entered your place, and you cursed at whoever decided to slide it downwards under the door. Had it been facing up, you wouldn't have felt your pressure drop the moment your eyes fell on it. You wouldn't have felt your knees go weak and tremble as you reached down to pick it up, and you wouldn't have felt your face heat up at the same time that tears welled up in your eyes.

Because, for the five seconds that it took for you to kneel down and pick the delicate creme envelope up, and for the ten others that it took for you to gain enough strength to flip it over in your shaking hands, you believed the names on the invitation would be the same two that were the cause of your heartbreak.

Hyunjin and Minji, you said under your breath — cursing once again, over how even their names sounded perfect next to one another.

Please, don't be Hyunjin and Minji.

Please.

As soon as you flipped it over, you felt pathetic. How scarred did you have to be for your first thought to a wedding invite being that Hyunjin and his best friend were getting married?

It had been nearly eight months now since you broke up with him, you would've thought your body wouldn't get such a reaction out of a simple envelope on your floor. And the rational part in you wanted to believe he wouldn’t be marrying someone else when it hadn’t even been a year yet. You knew you wouldn’t; not when you were nowhere near halfway there when it came to getting over him and moving on.

Pathetic, that's how you felt.

Wanting to forget about it all, you threw the invitation on your key table before taking your shoes off and heading to bed. Thankfully, this time it laid facing upwards and wouldn't bring you any more heartbreak, since it now displayed the names of the lovely couple who was about to get married and would like you to join them on such a special day.

Felix and Hyejin.

"Mhm…" you hummed in response after what felt like an eternity.

That was as much of an answer as Seungmin would get from you.

"Are you going?" he inquired.

You shrugged. "Don't know".

"What do you mean you don't know?!" he scoffed. "Y/N, it's Felix and Hyejin we're talking about. We've been friends since the beginning of college. Fuck, we’ve been friends with Hyejin since high school!"

"So?" you helplessly tried to fight back, knowing well enough you were at disadvantage here.

"So?!" Seungmin grew frustrated. "I get that you and Hyunjin broke up and I've been very understanding when it comes to not pushing you into hanging out with our group anymore, but it's our friends' wedding we're talking about this time".

You sighed, leaning against the counter in search of some kind of support. "I know…"

"You can't avoid us forever".

"I haven't avoided you" you pouted.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the only reason you didn't push me away like the rest was because we're literally linked by a contract and have to see each other at our coffee shop on the daily".

"Come on now, don't be like that" your voice weakened, reaching for his hand and holding it in between both of yours. "I can't even remember what my life was like before we became friends, I wouldn't have pushed you away out of everyone".

Seungmin's semblance softened — both at your words and at the miserable look in your eyes. In the end, he was all you had, and although honored, he couldn't help but feel his chest hurt over how you had ended up here.

Not even a year ago, you used to have a team of ten people rooting for you. You used to have a perfect support system, and you used to be a part of it for your friends, too. Now, you had managed to close yourself off and push everyone away. You had cleared the way for Hyunjin and Minji to take over, not wanting to make things awkward after everything that went down. After all, you were the one who ended things, it was only fair for you to be the one to take a step back.

Now, it was only him to you. Y/N and Seungmin, just like it had been up until high school.

With a small smile, he squeezed your hand tenderly. "I really think you should go…"

You bit your lip, looking down to your black shoes, which suddenly seemed like the most interesting view in the world.

Truth be told, you wanted to go. For Hyejin and Felix, you wanted to attend. Being there with them on the most important day of their lives would be a dream come true. But you just weren't ready to face their guests — two of them in particular.

"Will you at least think about it?" he pushed it once more when he realised you might not speak up again. "Before sending your confirmation back by the end of the week".

"Will he…" your voice came out of your mouth before you could stop it, still not being able to look up. "Are they…" you sighed, feeling like you might break down from the thought of it alone. "Are they going together?"

It wasn't necessary for you to say their names, for Seungmin knew well enough who 'they' were.

"You made me promise not to ever tell you about them, no matter how hard you begged".

"That was before knowing I'd might have to face them again".

Seungmin smiled reassuringly. "I don't know, if I'm honest".

The glare you gave him was enough to have him step back and hold both hands up as a sign of peace.

"Cross my heart!" he promised. "Lix and Hye had talked about getting married here and there but the invitation took us all by surprise, you would've known if you hadn't left our group chat".

You smiled melancholically. You used to love that group chat, it had been one of your main sources of sanity all throughout college, and later on the source of many callouts from your friends when Hyunjin and you started dating and inevitably became that couple.

You missed it. You missed your friend group, all of them, even Minji, as sad as it was. But being in the same group as her and Hyunjin was something you were not strong enough to make it through, so you left.

"I'm not sure I should go then…" you confessed. "Imagine if they went there together. I would break down right there, Min".

"Aww, no, come here" he pulled you into a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your face into his chest. "I doubt they'll go together, but if they do you can leave. I just want you to show up for Felix and Hyejin, even if you literally only go there to congratulate them and then dip".

A muffled chuckle was heard against his chest. "That would be a bit rude, don't you think?"

"Then stay" he pulled you back by your shoulders, locking his eyes with yours. "You don't even have to look their way. We can go together, I'll make sure to block his view whenever he's within your visual range".

"You'd do that for me?" you pouted.

"Of course, I'll be like your personal bodyguard".

"You should probably gain a bit more muscle for that" you teased, poking his bicep.

"Shut up" he offendedly let go of you.

"You don't have to sacrifice your plus one for me, though" you let him know. "You can take whoever you want with you, I'll be fine".

"Well, it's not like I've got a lot of people lined up to date me, do I?" his snarky remark earned a laugh from you. "Plus, we'd kill three birds with one shot".

"Isn't it supposed to be two?" you tilted your head.

He shook his head. "Three".

You motioned for him to go on with his point.

"The both of us would get a date and wouldn't be put in one of those lame tables for single people so we can mingle" he cringed, and you giggled. "I'd be able to keep you from interacting with Hyunjin and Minji all day long. And, we could make Hwang a lil jealous while at it. I know he was lowkey always jealous of me being close to you".

You snorted, finding his third point absolutely ridiculous. "Oh, come on. What was there to be jealous of?"

"Should I be offended?"

"You're an idiot," you laughed. "But I will take you up on your offer".

"So you're going?!" he cheered up.

"No, I mean… I still have to think of it, but if I do, we should go together".

"Okay then, I guess I'll be waiting" he sighed, quite over dramatically at that. "Please let me know when you make up your mind, so I know whether to check the plus one option or not".

"Will do" you smiled, going back to the long-forgotten cupcakes on the counter in order to keep placing them in the showcase. "Now go see if everything's in order so we can open for the day".

"Yes, boss".

You rolled your eyes. "For the millionth time, I'm not your boss. We're literally associates".

"Yeah, and we're both the bosses here" he reminded you, stealing a salted caramel cupcake from the tray. "Would really appreciate it if you called me boss around our workers from time to time".

"Just go, big boss" you humored him.

Seeing him give you the middle finger while he stuffed his mouth and walked away, you knew the day would go by smoothly.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

When you arrived home later that night, you were confident to check your assistance on the invitation. Seungmin's pep talk that morning had really done the trick, and the fact that it had been a very busy day at the coffee shop hadn't left that much space for overthinking throughout the day.

So, when you walked into your apartment that evening, you confidently grabbed the envelope you had thrown to the table by the entrance the day before and made your way to the desk inside your bedroom.

Taking a seat by it, you allowed yourself to pay attention to the details on the envelope for the first time. Violet had always been Hyejin's favourite colour, and you couldn't help but smile when you saw the few touches of it on the creme paper. Their names were delicately written in cursive with a black pen right in the middle, and it looked so perfect that it actually had you wondering whether it had been written by hand or in a computer.

Just like Hyunjin and Minji, Felix and Hyejin were, too, names that you considered to look perfect together. You wanted to believe Hyunjin and Minji weren't actually meant to be, though — unlike Lix and Hye, who were so fucking perfect for each other, that it only took you one minute with them the day you all met to realise they were meant to be.

Trying to erase the melancholic smile from off your face, you grabbed a black pen and opened the envelope for once and for all.

The words on the paper that informed the details of when and where the event was taking place went right through your head as you searched for the small square you would have to check in order to attend.

You were going.

Yes, you were going.

That's what you repeated to yourself like a mantra while your mind fought with your body, as the still hand holding the pen wouldn't come down to check the goddamn 'I'm attending' box.

You were going.

You had told yourself you were going.

But, after staring blankly at the paper on your desk for five minutes without being able to move, you came down to the conclusion that you couldn't bring yourself to write down on it.

Not when you were reminded of who you might bump into if you ended up attending.

No matter how hard Seungmin tried to block your view, no matter how hard you tried not to look around for him and have tunnel vision for the groom and bride standing on the aisle only, you knew you would somehow end up caving in.

Because no matter how hard you fought it, your eyes would always look for him in a room full of people. And you knew that if you looked and he was with her, your heart would break all over again and you would not be able to control the tears that would come rolling down your face in an instant.

Even if they were not a couple, even if they did not attend as each other's plus one, you knew you would break down at the most minimal of their interactions — because Hyunjin was no longer yours, and he had been hers first.

Granted, they had never been physically involved —as far as you knew and as far as you wanted with everything in you to believe—, and you had always been too scared to ask Minji if she ever had feelings for him, but Hyunjin did have feelings for her. To make matters worse, he used to have them up until right before you and him got romantically involved.

"She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on" Hyunjin said one night.

You had all been drinking at Minho's on a Friday night, just for the sake of having a good time as the best friends you were — all eleven of you.

Hyunjin was on his third drink already and could feel his eyes becoming heavy, but even then, his eyes would light up at the sight of Minji. Your heart tightened at the realisation, having to remind yourself that it was just a crush and you needed to let go of it before you ended up hurt.

You were well aware of it, but it was hard to let it go when you were sitting down next to him on the couch and his knee was ever-so-naturally touching yours. It was hard to let go of it when the two of you got along so well and would spend hours just sitting beside each other talking about anything and everything at the same time.

And it was hard not to feel your chest hurt every single time he would steal a glance towards Minji, who kept laughing at anything that Han said as they talked by the kitchen's entrance.

It hurt, because he looked at her like she held the stars in the sky, and you wished he would look at you the same.

You wished he would look at you like that. Period.

Not her. Only you.

But he did not. You could tell the difference in his chocolate eyes when they focused on you and when they focused on her, and it hurt the same every single time.

"Why don't you tell her?" you asked regardless, trying your best to push your feelings away.

Hyunjin looked at you as if the most stupid of ideas had just come out of your mouth — and, in a way, it had. "We've been friends since we were twelve, there's no way".

"She's gonna find out eventually if you keep saying those things out loud when she's in the same room" you shrugged, bringing your cup to your mouth, quietly sipping down on your beer.

"What? Did I say something? What did I say?" he silently freaked out.

A bitter smile curved up your mouth, which was thankfully covered by the cup still pressed to your lips.

Hwang Hyunjin was so in love with his best friend that he didn't even realise when he called her the most beautiful woman his eyes had ever seen.

You wished he could ever feel that way about you, but you knew he wouldn't. Between Minji and you, you knew his heart would always choose her. And it was okay. After all, you only had a crush on him. You could make it go away any time.

Oh, how wrong you were. And how you wished it was just a crush.

How you wished you had actually put some effort into making it go away when you had the chance, instead of only letting it grow bigger and stronger by the day.

But not falling for Hyunjin was one of the hardest things you had fought against, and you failed oh-so-miserably at it.

It was his way with words and how he made you feel like the most special person in the world before the two of you were even a thing. It was the way he made you feel like no one else but the both of you existed. The way he would stare and not even try to play it off. The way he would out of nowhere say the sweetest of things to you and expect you not to become a blabbering mess in front of him.

How he would Facetime you at any time of the day just to check up on you and tell you about the plot he had randomly came up with while doing the most mundane of chores; and how he'd show up at your place with your favourite drinks and food, only for the latter to inevitably go cold, as he always seemed to arrive in the middle of your baking sessions, which resulted in him becoming your personal assistant whose commissions would be paid in all the pastries his stomach could handle.

Everything was too perfect for you not to fall head over heels for him.

The darkside of it all was that you only got to experience all that when Minji went abroad for one semester.

He didn't have her anymore, and suddenly he noticed you.

It was as if a switch had been turned off and just like that all the attention he paid to her was now focused on you. It almost felt like he was looking for a replacement in the meantime, and you were too over the moon to realise. Until she came back, and everything you had built together came crashing down.

And maybe it was your fault for letting your insecurities win over the love he claimed to feel for you, but it was hard —if not impossible— for you not to feel like you had just been there to temporarily fill a void.

As soon as she came back, you felt threatened. The second his eyes laid on her and they hugged like they were each other's oxygen after being at the verge of drowning, you knew your days together were counted.

You should've stopped it all back when it was just a crush, when she still hadn't left and you didn't have the chance to have Hwang Hyunjin's attention on you in all its splendor yet.

Maybe then the two of you wouldn't have ended up getting together when she was away. Maybe then you wouldn't have gotten so goddamn insecure when she came back and they inevitably became attached to the hip all over again, like they always were.

Maybe then you wouldn't have gone through the hardest of breakups and the most painful of heartbreaks.

No matter how convinced you were that leaving him was the best you could've done to keep your sanity, you couldn't help but feel like it was not the best choice for your heart.

Ever since you walked away that December night, it felt like something was missing, like you were in a constant state of waiting for something to arrive at your doorstep but it never would.

It was almost comical, how no matter what decision you made, whether you stayed with him or not, your heart would break regardless. If you stayed, your heart would keep hurting every single time you saw him and Minji together. If you left, your heart would hurt over the loss of him.

In the end, you just had to choose the lesser evil. And fuck, letting go of him hurt so damn much you wondered if it was the lesser evil at all.

You wished you could erase that night from your memory. The words you said to push him away and the ones he said to keep you close, the sound of his voice breaking with each sentence leaving his mouth, his gloomy, red eyes looking at you like you had just ripped his heart apart, the endless tears staining those rosy cheeks of his you had just been covering with kisses one day ago.

Everything about it, about how you walked away, you wished you could forget.

It was all on you. You hurt him, and would never forgive yourself for it, no matter how much you convinced yourself it had been the best choice for you.

He had fought for you until the end, and you did not look back from your decision once.

You had lost sleep for weeks after that, and then last night you could not bat an eye as you went through all the possibilities that would come with you attending the wedding. Over and over, you wondered whether you would be able to handle seeing him again after all this time.

Overwhelmed by all the memories and what if's that had been unleashed inside your head by simply staring at that one piece of paper, you took a deep breath and put the pen down.

Although Seungmin’s pep talk had worked wonders to help you get through with the day, and although it had managed to convince you for most of it, you realised it was not a decision you could make that easily. Not that day, at least.

With a heavy heart, you stood up from your desk and decided to make yourself some tea in hopes to ease your mind — leaving the invitation laying there in the darkness of your room, once again left to be forgotten.

You still had the rest of the week to think this through.

tag list: @brinnalaine @slut4colinbridgerton @sherryblossom @svintsandghosts @phenomenalgirl9 @meloncremesoda @jxcesstuff @nhyunn @armystay89 @babrieeee

[fatuismooches]

Helloo Smooches!!

I had an idea about mixing in two ideas - childhood friend + fragile!reader with Pantalone (let's not let Dottore steal all the spotlight)

Basically, bc of living in poverty reader is very weak and Pantalone concludes you'll be dead any day soon. But despite everything Reader keeps pushing through and he's intrigued. Not only you somehow keep living, you're so nice and try to help others around you any way you can, including Pantalone. I think after becoming friends he advices you to care more about yourself, seeing your frail condition

At one point your condition becomes worse and you need medicine which is already expensive, but for you? You can only get it if you work 24/7, but you physically can't. However, miraculously, you get that medicine. After some time you learn that it was Pantalone who worked all day and night for you and reader can't thank him enough. You may learn he didn't eat for a few days and worked in ungodly conditions just to save you. Reader feels very guilty about all of this, but Pantalone reassures them that it's better than you dying. And it's so strange, even for Panta himself. Like, there are tons of kids who are in the same condition as you or even worse, then why he's so keen to save you?

The rest is history. You two become inseparable, helping each other get through life (no one of you mentions it, but Pantalone works harder and more than you, due to your illness).

When he becomes the Regrator, you're still together. But now he can properly take care of both of you, since you were damaged pretty badly by your childhood. But if Pantalone's immune system got very strong and he only really has bad eyesight, then you... It's not a pretty scene, but he can keep you in stable state thanks to all the expensive doctors, medicine and anything you need for your comfort. I also feel both of you get flashbacks and nightmares about past, so both of you are here to comfort each other

However, if you did die before seeing Regrator in all his glory... He's devastated. He makes sure your grave stays in top-notch condition. Pantalone is grateful for the time you were with him, when Reader became a little ray on sunshine in his dark life, but won't deny he wants you back. However, even endless wealth can't bring reader back. But at least now Pantalone knows for sure he won't lose anything close to him due to lack of mora ever again

-🥀, who went insane

DOTTORE STEALING THE SPOTLIGHT IS SOOO TRUE IM SO SORRY 😭😭💀 and UGHHH THIS IS FEEDING MY PANTALONE BRAINROT SO GOOD, 🥀 ANON ILY ❤️❤️❤️

Pantalone just not caring about you in the beginning is unfortunately true at first 😭 He is well aware that it is a dog-eat-dog world out there, especially in the environment where you two are. Everyone is out for themselves, no one will look out for each other lest they get stabbed in the back eventually. The young boy has seen more death and suffering than a child of his age should, and he thinks that soon, you will become one of them... but you don't. And despite your ailing condition you still find it in you to help others and the younger kids... he thinks you are simultaneously the strangest, kindest, and dumbest person he's ever met. How could you be so kind in a world like this? You've surely seen the same things he has... you should be putting yourself first, you're squandering what life and health you have left on random people!

He just doesn't understand... he doesn't seek to figure you out first, but you are the only kid his age around these parts, and you do always try to hang around him... so he relents. He becomes your friend. And he... comes to like you. To care for you. The boy has never felt that to someone else before. It makes him act different around you. To go to certain extents he would never dream of doing for anyone but himself. To get little trinkets for you, that really aren't worth anything at all, but he likes how they make you smile. To share bits of his meager rations with you, to which you always giggle and ask if you could feed him. It's strange, even stranger when he goes beyond that. Did your medicine deal a significant blow to his savings? Yes. Did he care? No. Seeing you smiling seemed to satisfy some hole in his chest that has been empty since birth. Pantalone can't help but want you to stay by his side. And you do too.

Ugh yes he would treat you higher than royalty like you deserve after how much you suffered with him for all of those years. I imagine he would be so overprotective and concerned for you, if you had even the most minor health scare he would be more worried than YOU. Regardless you bet he will fulfill every single wish you had since childhood, nothing is off the table, Pantalone WILL make it happy. Yup I imagine Pantalone sometimes has nightmares about losing everything he built his way up to and going back to the poor boy alone on the streets... and you have your own trauma from your condition so just :( lots of nighttime cuddles and soft back rubs

🥀 ANON YOU JUST HAD TO END IT WITH ANGST... To say he would be crushed is an understatement. Part of his motivation and reason to ascend to the top was to be able to give you the life you deserve - a comforting, peaceful, and rich one. But you were gone... he was so, so close to saving you. He still loves you so much. And although he has the Mora to never lose anything close to him again... will there really be anything like that for him ever again after he lost you?

[flower1622]

Diego: So, what is the family meeting about this time?

Everyone stares at Luther confused, not knowing the reason Luther called them.

Luther: We know that Klaus can be the next bomb, right?

His siblings nod their heads.

Luther: And one life is not more important than billions?

His siblings nod their heads, with Five and Diego already guessing what Luther wanted to say. Diego gets impatient and crosses his arms.

Diego: Just say it already, Luther!

Luther: Alright....well, i love Klaus very much, but...we are talking about the whole world here...

Diego and Five punch Luther in the face and stomach at the same time. Luther falls to the floor in pain. Diego and Five glare at Luther.

Diego: Are you crazy, asshole?!

Five: Klaus is part of the family!

Luther stands up, still feeling a little pain and faces his angry siblings.

Viktor crosses his arms, rolls his eyes and looks away. He mumbles.

Viktor: And here we go again...

Luther: Look, i get it, okay? I acted like a jerk to Viktor before. But, we can't risk innocent lives because of a person. Klaus is too unstable right now.

Diego: This person is our brother!

Viktor: Well...

Diego and Five look at Viktor with angry expressions on their faces.

Diego and Five: Well, what?!

Viktor looks at them serious.

Viktor: At the last time, i was the one suffering and nobody did anything to help me. So, why is this time different?

Five: Victor...😡

Viktor: What? You know it's the truth. You guys even said before that we shouldn't risk billions for a life. My friend died because of this! So, tell me. Why is with Klaus different? You even threatened to kill me, Five.

Diego only gets angry and shocked after hearing this. Angry because his brothers wanted to risk Klaus and shocked to know that Five threatened their other brother.

Five: This is different...

Viktor: How so?

Five only growls at Viktor.

Viktor: See?

Luther: So, i think it's already decided.

Diego and Five glare at Luther. Five takes Luther by his collar and leans close to his face with a murderous look.

Five: If you touch Klaus, i'll fucking kill you.

Five lets go of Luther and leaves. He exchanges serious and angry looks with Diego. Ben notices this and leaves too. Allison only looks at Luther sad and angry and leaves. Viktor looks at Luther serious and leaves. A knife stabs Luther on his leg and Luther falls on the floor feeling a lot of pain. Diego gets close to Luther and looks down at him with a pretty serious face.

Diego: This was for Klaus.

Diego also leaves, leaving Luther alone on the floor of the living room, feeling pain on his leg.

.....................................

Klaus is locked in the basement of the house. He's crying and screaming for the ghosts to leave him alone.

Klaus feels someone touching him and he backs away, asking for the person to leave with his eyes still closed.

Five sighs.

Five: Come on, Klaus. It's me five. Just open your eyes. I'm right in front of you.

Klaus: No, you are not him...you're not him.

Five: Please, Klaus. Just trust me, okay? Please. I... i don't like to see you like this.

Klaus hears someone sobbing and gets shocked. In all these years, he never heard a ghost being gentle like this to him, only Ben. He knows he can't fall for the ghost's trap.

Klaus: If you're really Five, tell me what i gave him when we were kids.

Five: Klaus...

Klaus: Just tell me.

Five sighs and cleans his wet face with his hands. Five looks at Klaus with a small smile that is only reserved for Klaus.

Five: You gave me a little teddy bear you found on the street to cheer me up when i was pretty sad because of father.

Klaus gets shocked and slowly turns his head to the ghost's direction and slowly opens his eyes to see Five in fron of him.

Klaus: Five...

Five: Hey, bro.

Klaus: But, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here. I'm dangerous.

Klaus starts backing away, but five puts his hands on Klaus' shoulders to stop him. Five and Klaus stare at each other's eyes.

Five: Look, Klaus. I would like to talk with you about many things, but now we need to go, okay? You're not a threat, alright? Alright?

Five looks at Klaus very serious and shakes Klaus' shoulders to make him understand. Klaus only nods his head, not knowing what to do or say.

Five: Good.

Five stands up and extends his hand to Klaus, who only looks at Five and his hand.

Five only gives a tired and sad face to Klaus.

Five: Please.

Klaus hesitates for a few seconds, but after seeing five's tired and sad face, he nods his head and accepts Five's hand.

Five teleports them to a van, where Diego was seated on the driver's seat.

Five goes to sit on the passenger's seat.

Diego looks at Klaus and gives a little smile to him.

Diego: Hey, Klaus.

Klaus gets happy seeing Diego there.

Klaus: Diego, mi hermano!

Diego only smiles at Klaus and shakes his head.

Ben: I'm here too, idiot.

Klaus turns around and notices that Ben was also in the van.

Klaus runs to hug Ben.

Klaus: Benny!

Ben tries to push Klaus away, but it doesn't work. Ben mumbles.

Ben: Someone help me.

Five and Diego were watching them with smiles on their faces. Then, they turn around to face the front of the car.

Diego notices that Five's eyes were a little wet.

Diego: Did you cry?

Five only looks away from Diego.

Five: Just drive.

Diego only laughs a little bit, shaking his head, and drives away.

[heeseung-min]

Hii can I request for the backstory of the riki fic 12:14 😦😦

🤠🤠your wish is my command, before that if you want to understand better you guys can read this first [12:14]

[22:06]

9th December 2013, it was the first time Riki fell in love at the first sight. He was still 13 years old yet he was very sure that you, the one he saw on that day are his true love.

He told about it to his family but everyone keep laughing and said it was just a mere crush and teenagers around his age act like that. But, Riki didn't care about that. His mind only full of you.

"You must be Jungwon's friend. Come inside. He will be back in few minutes."

Riki didn't know what to do. He was astonished looking at you standing in front of him.

"You....don't want to come in?"

You awkwardly asked the short boy since he's been standing for few minutes and still not saying anything.

"Ah- yes yes I'm sorry." Riki blinked his eyes aggresively trying to focus back before entering the house. He sat on the couch and then looked at the show you were watching. He smiled at the sight of familiar cartoon. Crayon Shin Chan.

"Do you want anything?"

"No- it's okay."

"Well, I'll be in my room if you need me."

That's the first time Riki knew what love means.

14th February 2017, Riki planned something. He was smiling widely at the bouquet he bought. It has your favourite flowers. How did he know? He might "accidentally" came to your room while you were out.

He looked at his surrounding and it full of couples having fun with each other. He hoped he can feel like them too.

"You are so sweet buying these flowers. I'm sure your girlfriend must really love it."

His cheeks flushing red at the words. Will you accept him as a boyfriend?

"Um, we are not dating yet. But, I'm planning to confess today."

"Awhh, I'm sure you will get her young man."

"You think so?"

"Of course!!!"

The owner words somehow boosted Riki's confidence. With giddy feelings, he walked to your house and asked you to come out.

"Oh, Riki! What are you doing here? It's night already."

You asked him. Riki became taller as years go by. He was shorter than you but now you were the one that was shorter than him.

"Noona, I've been liking and loving you since the first time we met. I was thinking about confessing to you these years but now I finally have courage to do it. Noona, will you be my girlfriend?"

He expected you will be shocked by the sudden confession but he didn't expected you will reject him.

"Riki...umm you are really good boy. But, to me you are just like my brother. I'm sorry if my acts towards you lead you to something else. Plus, you are still young. I'm sure your feeling just like a mere crush. It will go away later. Again, I'm really sorry."

Instead of saying anything, Riki walked away leaving you outside the house. The bouquet he bought already thrown into a garbage bin. Riki only saw red at that time. He went to the flower shop and looking for the owner. It was close already but he eventually got inside and saw the owner was cleaning the store.

"Uh, young man? You should not be in here."

The woman was a bit worried. Riki rolled his eyes and attacked her by choking her neck.

"You said she will accept me. But, WHY INSTEAD SHE APOLOGIZED AND REJECTED ME?!!! YOU SAID SHE WILL LIKE THE FLOWERS!!!"

"Let- let me...I'm sorry."

"Huh, sorry? Yeah, you should be sorry. You ruined my life so you should face the consequence."

Riki took a scissor near him and stabbed the woman on her eyes and her body many times until she died.

Somehow, he didn't feel guilty doing that at all. Instead, he felt good that he is able to let out his anger.

Since that day, Riki is not smiley like he used to be anymore. He even cut his friendship with everyone include Jungwon. Most important thing, he started to stalk you every single day.

He even installed a camera inside your room just to watch every movement you do. Sometimes, when there is no one at the home, he will break in and stole some of your items. He loves to see you getting frustrated looking for it.

One day, when Riki was enjoying his time alone on the school rooftop? Jungwon came and stood beside him. He glared at Jungwon who looked scared to say anything.

"What do you want?"

"I've heard about your confession towards noona and I'm sorry that you got rejected. But, Riki you don't need to unfriend me too. We can still be friends."

"Shut up. You don't know anything."

"I know you are still hoping for my sister. But, she has a boyfriend and is planning to move in with him. You need to let it go."

Riki clenched his fists tightly. Is your boyfriend became the cause you rejected him? And you even planned to run away from him?

He turned to face Jungwon who was waiting for a response. He looked on Jungwon's back that near with the end of the roof.

"You are right. I should move on."

"Yes! We are still young anyway. Let's focus on something else than these things."

Jungwon said with big smile on his face. He was happy to finally get to talk with Riki. He missed his friend so much.

Sadly, Jungwon didn't realized he was already at the end of the building. He became shocked when Riki suddenly pushed him off the rooftop. The boy landed on the hard ground with pooling out from his head.

"You should just stay away and don't disturb me. You cause this to yourself."

22nd June 2020, Riki started to follow you when you were finally finished your work. Since Jungwon's death three years ago, you moved from the house and sold it to other people. He came to your brother's funeral and felt so happy when you hugged him. He didn't care about the funeral to be honest. He came just to see you.

You moved to a city to find a job and you stayed with your boyfriend, Sangwon. Both of you were working hard to pay the bills. Sangwon is a good guy. A very good guy. He takes care of you and always make sure you will be okay.

And that's what make Riki mad.

He is the one that supposed to do that.

He is the one that need to take care of you.

Not that bastard.

Riki watched as you entered your house. He calmed himself when he saw you were hugging and kissing your boyfriend. He knew you actually love him. He knew that. He will take you back. He will make sure he will get you back in his arms.

"Y/n, go take shower. I'll be cooking and we eat together okay?"

"Thank you, honey."

Sangwon kissed your forehead before let you to shower. He didn't realized at that time the back door was opened when he got into the kitchen. Without thinking too much, he just closed the door and started to cook.

When he wanted to cut vegetables, he noticed the knife is gone. He went to search for it until he heard a voice.

"Looking for this?"

Sangwon turned to that unfamiliar voice. He felt the panic building up inside him looking at the stranger inside the house.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, me? I am Y/n's boyfriend."

"No, I am her boyfriend. Leave our house right now before I called the police."

Riki scoffed while twisting the knife on his hand. Your boyfriend really had an audacity to do that. He moved fastly and stabbed Sangwon's neck before pulled it out and stabbed on his stomach.

"Can you call the police now? I bet nah."

He giggled when blood coming out from Sangwon's mouth when he wanted to say something.

"Awh poor you can't even shout for help. That's what you got when you took away Y/n from me."

Creak!

He turned back and found you standing feets away from him. You were holding your phone and stepped back when Riki started to walk closer.

"Stay away from me!"

"Noona...do you know how much I miss you?"

He wanted to hug you but you started throwing things towards him.

"Get away from me, you freak!"

"Freak??!! FREAK?!! I DID THIS FOR YOU NOONA. FOR US."

"NO! I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE YOU RIKI YOU SHOULD MOVE ON ALREADY."

"Why can't you understand? Noona, we are perfect for each other. I knew you love me."

"I will not love a murderer. You killed my boyfriend, Riki. You will get caught by police."

"You sure? Cause I did the same thing three years ago."

You became confused at what he said and Riki smirking showing his creepiness.

"To your brother."

You lost your balance and fell down on the floor. Riki started to laugh loudly like he just told you the funniest thing ever.

"I had to remove him, noona. Your brother is disturbance to us."

"POLICE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!"

Riki became confuse at the sudden noise. He turned to you who still in daze and grabbed your phone. The boy cursed when it shows a call between you and the emergency hotline. You must have been did that before he noticed you at the kitchen.

One of the polices shot him when he tried to run away. They quickly ran to hold him down and cuffed him.

"Miss, are you okay?"

You looked at your surrounding and felt better when you heard a siren. You turned to Riki who started to walk from you.

"I will fucking find you, noona. You can't escape from me."

That's the last sentence he said before the polices pushed him into the car.

"You are safe now, Miss."

-----

Man, it was hard to do with my headache🤕🤕 but thankfully i can finish it. Anyways this is flashback to [12:14] so what you read here is the past while the [12:14] is the future when Riki finally escape from jail and looked for y/n. Hope you guys understand.

Taglist: @stacey-stonem @duolingofanaccount @cyberpinkx

[tokoyamisstuff]

Mea Culpa

16+ just in case | 1,8k. words | Enrico Maxwell x gn! Reader | secret affair | not proofread | some angst and sexual innuendos

A/N: I can't believe you guys made me simp for this piece of shit not my worst tho

[Outside London, Royal Villa "Crownie House"]

The secret emergency meeting concerning "Millennium" will soon begin.

You were surprised to hear that the british government also requested Vatican officials to be present - but then again it was those bastard who assisted them back during WW2.

Well, in the end their information always proved to be valuable...let's just hope they're willing to cooperate for a change.

It was eery quiet as you made your way towards the main hall, most of the security focused either outside the building or close to the queen.

No wonder it was so easy for him to snatch you...

A gloved hand on your mouth kept you from screaming as you were dragged into a dark hallway, his body firmly pressed against you from behind.

"There you are" a familiar voice breathed into your ear, seemingly enjoying how you writhe against him. "You little protestant wench..."

Instantly your distraught evaporated, and as soon as he loosened his embrace you turned around to glare at that unfairly pretty face of his, crossing your arms in a condescending manner.

"Long time no see, you catholic zealot" you spit in annoyance, and he lets out an overexaggerated gasp, thinking you're merely joining in on the innocent banter. "My my, such a foul mouth." His eyes darken a tone before he playfully wriggles his eyebrows. "You should watch your tongue...or I'll have to put it to better use."

"You've got some nerve!" You softly punch his chest, aggravated by his carelessness. "We're basically at war, infiltrated by enemies, and you think it's funny to almost give me a heartattack?!"

"Right, you're right...I'm sorry, dear." Still getting lashed out at, he takes the chance to grasp one of your hands, settling a placating kiss to your knuckles. "I just couldn't wait any longer to hold you in my arms again."

Tz, acting all gentleman after the things he's done to you already...

Enrico's voice is smooth as honey and just as sweet, gazing up at you with those mesmerizing tanzanite irises. He is a fairly handsome man and infuriatingly aware of that fact.

Damn it.

Feeling your anger subside you roll your eyes at him, not wanting to cave just yet. "...you-you're obnoxious, do you know that?"

"And you are adorable, especially when you're mad" he snorts out a laugh, daring to put his hands on either side of your hip. Since you don't complain he pulls you close again, head resting on your shoulder as he sighs. "How I've missed you...seeing you here is like a ray of sun brightening those darkest of times."

You tried to ignore how his words pulled precizely at your heart strings, determined to heed everyone's warning: The bishop is like a sly fox, his silver tongue and seemingly approacable act easily manipulating others according to his will.

Even those close to him due to their line of work say that this man doesn't have a heart...

...and yet, even though knowing this, you can't help but be affectioned so pathetically much by him every time you meet.

"...I missed you too, I guess." Closing your eyes, you wrap your arms around him as well, feeling his shoulders relax. His hands won't leave your body as he gifts you a blissful smile, making you desperately want to believe not everything about this man is fake.

"Please tell me Anderson isn't here as well..." You shudder remembering how he almost caught you two back at the museum. "He'd stab me if he knew what I'm doing with his protégée."

"Former" Maxwell reminds you, poking your forehead. "I'm his superior now, and I wouldn't let him." Yeah, great consolation. You've seen how this ended last time.

"Besides" he refrained from using any foul words to adress your boss, but the grudge against her was still very present. "I bet Lady Integra wouldn't all too thrilled either." You chuckle awkwardly, thinking back to their first encounter. "Well...she used to say you're a cunning, bitter man that always has an ulterior motive."

The bishop's face turns into a frown. "Cunning? Certainly. Bitter...perhaps." Oh, unusually reflected. "But an ulterior motive? Why would you say that all of a sudden?"

Nothing ever goes past him, so he easily notices the slight discomfort in your expression. "Hey..." he softly lifts your chin as he speaks, chuckling at the hilarious thought he'd seduce enemies for information. "I do have my own goals, but they don't invove you. This here was...not part of my plan, to say the least."

It's up to yourself whether to believe him or not, and despite all signs testify against him you nod quietly, leaning into his touch.

"Good girl..." he coos, placing a tender kiss on the corner of your mouth, making it slowly turn into a smile. "You know, we still got time...let me give you a taste of what I'll to do to you later..."

Maxwell twirls you around again, lips brushing against your neck, softly raising blood to the surface. "A filthy heathen being so beautiful..." he mocks playfully, an ounce of wonder in his voice. "But protestant or not, I will make you scream for god either way."

You moan much to his delight, his hands busying themselves to explore every part of you he can grasp. "See what you make a man of faith do, little siren? You're my only temptation, my own personal taste of heaven...do you know that?"

"M-Maxwell...sto-op..." And yet his hands slide into your pants despite you trying to stop him. This was a heavily guarded place and far from the right time at that, but your resolve started to grow weak under his skillfull hands, grip on his wrist faltering.

Both of you got carried away, were so lost in each other that you only noticed you weren't alone when you heard the clock of a gun, aimed right at the bishop's head.

Play with fire, prepare to get burned, or so they say.

"Get your disgusting hands off of my handmaid" Integra demanded in that low, authorative tone of hers. "At once!"

Maxwell's eyes widen at the sight of the barrel, quickly retracting his hands and getting some distance between you. The situation was pretty obvious, but he couldn't risk revealing that you wanted it - it would mark you as traitor...so denying it is.

Gladly lying comes as easy to him as breathing.

He glanced over to you briefly, hoping you'd understand the sentiment before putting on his trademark smirk, shrugging. "Whatever you think it is you saw, my fair Lady Hellsing, I merely helped your lost assistant find the way."

You on the other hand were frozen in place, watching over Integra's shoulder - and to your horror seeing practically the entirety of Hellsing and Iscariot looking at your dissheveled self. Integra went absolutely ballistic at the man, but you couldn't even make out what exactly they were arguing about as you went into a full-blown panic attack.

"M'lady, I am just as enraged as you are" Walter interrupts the two squabblers, "But in dire times like these we cannot afford conflict with our temporary allies."

After a while of fighting to regain her composure she is still subtly boiling with anger. "Fine...for now. This isn't over yet" she hisses, lowering her weapon before turning to you. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

Seeing all eyes on you now you couldn't help but feel embarrassed beyond belief. You frantically shake your head, tears dwelling in your eyes as you tuck your clothes back into place. "The-the meeting will start soon..." you snivel, "I'll be off. Excuse me."

Maxwell felt his chest narrow hearing your saddened noises, yet as much as he wanted to rush after you, he couldn't. Mustn't. "What a shame..." he couldn't help but say aloud, "...poor thing..."

SLAP

Everyone gasped when Lady Hellsing hit the bishop's cheek with her backhand, putting all of her pent up hatred into the attack. His warriors already drew their weapons, but he made a dismissing gesture.

"Let them be, they're not worth it. As far as I'm concerned, this is settled."

This meeting, though short, felt like it lasted an eternity. You felt Enrico's eyes linger on you the whole time, even when there was quite literally people being killed on live TV.

You felt humiliated and foolish...but at the same time incredibly thankful for him accepting the blame without hesitating, just to spare you suspicion. He could've easily deflected those horrible accusations of having forced himself on you, and you would've completely understood.

There was nothing to gain from it, so why did he protect you?

To add to that confusion, his actions painfully reminded you of the fact that while all odds were against you, an affection was blossoming in your heart that got harder and harder to suppress.

Maybe he isn't so that bad after all.

After everything was settled and the attendees made their leave, you waited at the very same spot than before, in a naive hope that he had the same idea.

And really, you soon heard his voice echoing through the mansion.

"Oh please" Maxwell sneered, his second, vicious nature showing through. "You know how I think about that. I don't need anyone. Never have, never will."

Ouch.

Peeking around the corner you see him walk with what appears to be an Iscariot official, conversing with your secret lover. You recognize him, he was present when you were caught in the act. It was certainly not the worst thing one had seen a catholic do, and Maxwell's influence and corruption in his own rows was growing too deep already. So him breaking his vow of chastity wouldn't cause any repercussions. You'd be shocked how much the Vatican let's slip.

"I'm just saying" the other man notes, "That's not just your personal business, it's a dangerous game you're playing with that Hellsing girl."

"This again?" Maxwell scoffs, trying not to lose face in front of his own people. "None of those vermin matter. She's just a plaything, a filthy protestant harlot. It's just fun defiling an enemy, nothing mo-" His words get stuck in his throat when he passes your hallway, heart stopping a beat as his eyes lock with yours.

He messed up. Shit. Shit!

Both men stare at you wordlessly for a while and you bite back the tears to not appease to their wicked glee. Upon seeing you he changes his demeanor like a goddamn performance and finally you connect the pieces...he's just like a robot mimicking human behavior.

How could you have been so blind?!

He's trying to reach out for you, but you wince back, looking at him with utter disgust. Taking a deep breath, you grid a weak "fuck you..." before turning around and leaving away just like that.

You hear him call after you, the panic of you hating him more important than his reputation after all. Yet you don't react, even when he runs after you, screaming your name. Walking until your feet give up, you make sure to be far away from any observers before allowing yourself to break down in heartscattering cries.

It was your fault for falling in love in the first place...

[mopeyy]

Heavy Goodbyes

Avatar Frontiers of Pandora (SPOILERS!!!)

A quick lil one shot while waiting for the results of the poll

Nor x Na'vi! reader

Angst

"You can't just run off after stabbing alma Nor!"

"Leave y/n. I don't want to talk about it."

You shook your head. How could he act this way? How could he just run off after what happened? You decided to take a different approach, a softer one to try and calm him down.

"I know what she did was horrible but-"

He cut you off,

"Horrible? She betrayed us y/n. She betrayed all of us. To believe she was ever on our side," he scoffed, "What a traitor. As much as she wants to believe it she will never be one of us."

He was upset and it was easy to tell. His ears were pinned to his head and his brows were furrowed. He was pacing back in forth, clenching and unclenching his fist to sooth himself. Even though you agreed with his statement part of you was still upset.

"So does that give you the right to run away? We're all struggling Nor but that doesn't mean you can close yourself off and push everyone away."

When you said this he stopped his pacing and turned to face you. He walked towards you and you took a step back. He was really angry and in full honesty, seeing him like this scared you. He leaned in close and started to speak.

"I don't need the right. We are free now are we not? I can do what I please. Maybe I just don't want to be somewhere that constantly surrounds me with humans and their technology."

"But they are our allies Nor-"

"They are humans all the same. I don't care whose 'side' they're on. Before they were on our side they were with the RDA. If you want to trust them fine. But i'm leaving."

You're lips parted in shock. He was leaving?

"Nor, you can't be serious.."

All he gave you was a nod. Confirming that he was set on his plan.

You reached your hand out and placed a hand on his arm.

"You can't leave, we all need you here. Teylan has already left, we can't lose you too Nor. I can't lose you."

You pleaded with him. Your eyes started to gloss with tears and your grip on his arm tightened.

He stared at you with an unfamiliar look in his eye. He seemed hesitant for a moment before he placed his hand on top of yours.

"You don't have to lose me." he whispered.

You let a small smile pass over your face, a glint of hope in your eyes.

"Does this mean you'll stay?"

He softly shook his head and took a step closer, getting rid of all space between you two.

"No, y/n, I'm...I'm saying come with me."

Your eyes widened, "what?" You mumbled. How could he ask you to leave?

He placed his other hand on the side of your face, tracing the stripes on your cheek with his finger.

"Come with me. We can explore Pandora and be truly free. Please yawntutsyìp."

You paused. You didn't know what to say.

The weight of Nor's gaze was heavy, a mix of determination and a plea for understanding. You could see the wildness of Pandora reflected in his eyes, the untamed beauty that he yearned to return to. But the thought of leaving everything behind, the community you had helped to build, the allies you had fought alongside, it anchored you in place with a paralyzing indecision.

Nor's voice broke through your hesitation, softer now, "I know it's a lot to ask, y/n. But out there, it's just us and the world we were born to live in. No more wars and fighting, just... freedom." His words painted a picture of a life unburdened, a dream that you had both shared once upon a time.

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your next words. "And what about the fight we've been a part of? The sacrifices? Can we just turn our backs on that?" Your voice was a whisper, but it carried the weight of all the unspoken fears and responsibilities that tethered you.

He responded with a fierce intensity, "We've fought enough, y/n. We've earned the right to choose our own path. And I choose a life where I'm not defined by this conflict." Nor's hands were steady, his resolve clear, but there was a tremor in his voice that betrayed his own inner turmoil.

The silence that followed was filled with the sounds of Pandora's wildlife, a reminder of the living, breathing world. It was a siren call, tempting and sweet, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to be swept away by the possibility of it all.

Finally, you spoke, "I... I can't go with you, Nor. We have to understand that this isn't about running away. It's about choosing our own battles, and mine needs to be fought here." The disappointment in his eyes was evident,

"Please just stay." You begged, desperate, asking him one last time.

By the look in his eyes, you already knew the answer.

He leaned forward and kissed you. It was bittersweet, a culmination of your shared history, a moment that acknowledged the depth of your bond and the divergence of your paths. As Nor reluctantly pulled away, his eyes searched yours for any sign of reconsideration, but you stood firm, your decision made.

Nor's expression hardened, the vulnerability that he had briefly shown now gone. "Then this is where our paths part," he said, his voice steady but low, carrying the weight of finality.

You nodded, the tears you had fought so hard to hold back now spilling freely.

He took a step back, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he turned and disappeared into the lush foliage of Pandora, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the life you had chosen to keep.

[sapphos-corner]

As the Seasons Pass pt. 0: "Early July" ☆ A sapphic fiction story

Synopsis: Genie is experiencing a headache in the form of a cryptic and tense homoerotic friendship. This chapter mainly surrounds that friendship. Genie meets a new friend named Valerie and eventually navigates the transition between her homoerotic relationship and the budding relationship with Valerie. All characters are original characters. This did start as a fanfic but due to certain moral qualms...I have decided to make this into a general fiction story with all original characters. Sorry for any confusion!

Contains: Literally just a confusing homoerotic dynamic between Genie and her friend. The very beginning of a what will become crush between Valerie and Genie.

Warnings: Minors please don't interact with this story. All characters are well over 18 years old.

Word count: 2.6K

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Sabrina<<33: Yeah I invited Joel tonight btw. I've been wanting y'all to meet!!

My first instinct when I read this message is to rip my skin off and go insane. Unfortunately I decided to take a different route, trying not to let this absolute bullshit injustice get to me.

Me: Omgggg I'm so excited to finally meet him!! I should be there in 15ish.

I buckle my seatbelt and grip the steering wheel. I am not prepared to meet this mystery man who also happens to currently be the bane of my existence. I think it may be good for me to see her with him, but it's gonna hurt like a bitch.

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When she opens the door, she seems different. She's dressed differently than usual. She leads me down the hallway to the living room. There he is.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you finally!" I exclaim, smiling and hoping the involuntary twitching of my right eye isn't noticeable.

"It's nice to meet you too!" He smiles at me warmly and waves his hand shyly.

I respond with a simple smile and greet the other roomies. I sit down at the coffee table and Sabrina comes to sit next to me.

"So how are things going with you and that girl?"

"Errrr I'm not really feeling it, I'm probably gonna let her know I just want to be friends." Little does she know, I've over-committed to her to the point where even thinking about dating another person fills my being with the strongest guilt I've ever felt. Wish that was mutual, but here we are.

She attempts and fails to stifle a smirk. She changes her facial expression quickly. Her eyes widen,, her brows lift and her lips part slightly.

"Whaaat, why?"

"I don't really know, she's cool and everything but I just can't see anything happening there."

"Yeah, you could do better anyways, whenever you told me about her I was like--" She scrunches her face in disgust and laughs. She says this about everyone I date.

"Sabrina" Joel calls. She turns around and he reaches his arm out, handing her his trash. She immediately gets up and throws it away for him.

I grimace slightly. This dude is closer to the trashcan than she is. He's not even in the middle of anything, his face has just been buried in his phone so far.

The group finally settles on a movie for the night. Some corny 2000's movie to watch ironically. We all laugh, cringe and gasp in unison as the movie progresses.

I look behind me to see Sabrina resting her head on Joel's lap. I feel like I've been stabbed in the chest fifty times with a dull butter knife. The remainder of the night she's glued to his side, barely bothering to even make eye contact with me.

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I spent the month of May mourning what could've been and accepting the reality of what really is. I know they've been seeing each other for a while, but actually seeing them together was excruciating. Especially because she didn't even seem like herself. She acted so self-conscious the entire night. Hyper-aware of every move she made, looking towards him for approval after every word she spoke.

She isn't who I thought. After so many conversations, I can't believe she's actually settling for a guy who's lame, uninterested in her personal life, and expects her to wait on him. The hours we've spent talking about how we hate dating men because of this exact behavior, and her praising him for not being like that, just for him to be exactly like that but she's too obsessed with him to acknowledge it.

She made her choice, I guess.

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June passes and I'm back at her house for another group hangout. One of her roomies, Charlie lets me in.

"Hiiiiiiiieeee I'm excited to see you! Sabrina went out to get some snacks for tonight but she should be back soon." She gifts me a hug and skips to the upstairs common area. I follow behind her and plop down next to her on the couch.

She cut her hair recently and dyed it back to her natural ash-brown color. She sits criss cross applesauce, and her shirt seems to swallow her entire body. She flips through the selection of titles on Amazon prime, and she settles on Ruby Gloom as background noise.

"Sooooo what have you been up to?" She turns to me, smiling brightly. Her light blue eyes wide and fixed on me.

"Honestly nothing too interesting, I feel like I'm in a weird transition stage of life right now, so it's just been a lot of the same stuff as usual I guess.. How about you??"

"Ugh same lowkey I've been suffering a little cause there's been roomie drama between Gracie and Jorden. I don't know, I just don't think I'm really adjusting well to the change in our environment recently."

"Oh my god yeah, I heard about that, has it gotten any less tense or is it still just...crazy?"

"It's definitely quieter and everyone's trying to keep the peace but it's just weird now, you know?"

"Yeah for sure, I'm sorry to hear that it's impacting you like this."

Loud footsteps start up the stairs and we look towards the entry way as they get closer. Sabrina walks out first, but she has this twisted, disgruntled look on her face. Joel follows behind her and my throat tightens.

"Hey guys!" I smile, trying hard to limit my reaction.

They smile at me awkwardly and she sits next to me on the couch. He pulls up a chair to sit in and buries his face in his phone.

"So, what have you been up to today?" I ask as casually as possible.

She opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted by a knock downstairs and Charlie excitedly popping up. When I look back over, her and Joel are locking eyes and communicating...telepathically? Honestly I can't really describe the type of interaction they're having but it's making me sick.

"Val's heeereee!!!" Charlie’s footsteps travel at lightning speed down the stairs and moments later her and Val appear in the entryway.

I met Val a couple months ago when Sab and I went to visit Charlie at work. They became what seems like pretty good friends rather quickly. She has quite a positive nature, so I'm really happy to see her here.

She sits on the couch opposite from me and smiles at me brightly.

"It's so nice to see you again, I've been seeing some of your posts dude and I love your art."

I can't help but blush a bit and shrug. "Thank you so much! I've been seeing yours too, what's that bar you went to recently? It looked so cool and, like, artsy?"

"Oh my gosh, yeah it's just a little spot downtown, I went for a show that one of my friends was doing, next time she performs I'll let you know and we can go." She responds, smiling with her eyes and I notice her cheeks start to glow with a light pink tint.

I nod excitedly and look back over to Sabrina, who's basically begging for Joel's attention. Joel who has his face buried in his phone. Joel who thinks he's so cool because he pretends to be a meta microcelebrity on instagram. Joel who acts like integrating into his girlfriends life and social circle is beneath him. Joel who won't even look up and talk to his girlfriend at the event she invited him to.

I roll my eyes and look straight at the TV. I'm doing the same thing she's doing. I'm begging for Sabrina's attention. Sabrina who's dating a man that doesn't care about her. Sabrina who thinks the bare minimum is above and beyond. Sabrina who disregards him in private and treats me like her girlfriend. Sabrina who ignores me when he's in the room. Sabrina who holds my hand while she drives. Sabrina who looks at me like I mean the world to her. Sabrina who can't make eye contact with me in public. Sabrina who has made me her backup. Sabrina who uses me to fulfill the emotional needs that Joel refuses to acknowledge. Sabrina who loves me. Sabrina who is ashamed of me.

I watch Ruby Gloom and remain silent. I glance over and listen in on Charlie and Val's conversations throughout the night. Besides those moments, I do my best to tune everything else out because it's not like anyone here is interested in talking to me right now anyways. Basically, I just do whatever I can to avoid looking in Sabrina and Joel's direction.

The energy in the room shifts after Joel leaves the room. I can feel Sab's eyes burning a hole into the side of my face. I turn my head to see her jump slightly and look forward. I look away and spot her head turn back in my direction. This cat-mouse thing continues until Joel steps back into the room.

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"I'm sorry I was kind of quiet tonight, I'm having really bad cramps. I need midol ASAP."

"Tell that man to go out and get you some." I say, half-heartedly joking. Chuckling to ease the underlying aggression.

"I would but I don't wanna be difficult, ya know? I'm gonna make some tea for myself actually. Let's hang out next Tuesday though! If you can."

"Yeah, just let me know what time works for you."

I open the door and she hugs me tight.

"Let me know when you get home."

I nod and turn away from her. When I get in my car, I drive around the block and park. I scream out of frustration and slam my head into the wheel. What the fuck are we doing? What the fuck is she doing?

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I head straight into the shower. Closing my eyes as the steaming water runs over my face. I tilt my head down and stare at my feet. I don't think I'm capable of being loved romantically. The experience of loving me as more than a friend will always be an embarrassment to those who feel it. I will always be a secret, and nothing will ever get off the ground for me. The burning in my chest makes its way to my throat and tears begin to fall. I'm so sick of this. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired.

I slip into my bed and scroll through tumblr. At least I'll always have my stupid little blog.

I really need to move past this. I don't think I can keep waiting for her. I kind of want to play with her emotions the way she's played with mine. It's evil, but it's hard to not think about evening the score.

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"Heeeeey!! So I was thinking we could go to this bakery, on me! I've been wanting to take you here for a while."

"Yeah that looks awesome, let's do it!"

She got a croissant with cream filling and an iced americano. I got a strawberry swiss roll with an iced caramel latte.

"Do you wanna try mine?" We say in unison. We trade pastries and bite in. I reach for a napkin to wipe excess cream from the corner of my mouth. Her chin is resting in her hand and she watches me. Smiling endearingly.

We spend three hours in the cafe talking and laughing. We catch up about everything from the last few weeks and talk a bit about last night.

She breaks eye contact while she over-explains her silence last night. She has to know that I know the truth. Her reasons feel avoidant and empty.

"Honestly, you have nothing to apologize for, I totally get it, if i was in your position I would've been quiet too.

She nods her head slowly. Still refusing eye contact, her expression is mixed. A look of relief mashed with a guilty, stifled energy in her eyes. A soft smile on her lips paired with a vacancy in her pupils. She looks extraordinarily haunted.

"Do you wanna go to the park?"

Her head pops up and turns back towards me. Her smile bright and wide.

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We walk up to our usual bench and sit, turned towards one another. My heart jumps a bit seeing her in the soft orange glow of the sun. Her eyes reflect the light and resemble honey. Her teeth are big and pearly white, pairing beautifully with her heart-shaped lips. Her dark brown hair compliments her tanned complexion like no other.

She reaches her hand out and places it over mine.

"You know what would be so cute?"

"What?"

"If we carved our initials into a tree here. I've never seen or heard of anyone doing that in real life."

My face gets hot and I can't help but smile.

"Yeah that would be cool, I have my knife on me, so we could totally do it."

After we settle on the tree, she starts peeling the bark back. I pull my knife out and start stabbing my initial into the tree. I hand the knife to her and she stabs in her initial.

"Should we put a heart around it?" I look over at her, and her face crosses slightly

"Uh, yeah we can put a heart around it."

Afterwards we head back over to the bench and proceed to talk for another three and a half hours. We sprinkle our fair share of gay jokes in. Her usually initiating them, and then seeming uncomfortable when I played along. The whole experience of hanging out with her feels like I'm jumping through hoops and running around in circles.

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I send Joan a picture of our tree initials and caption the message 'what does this mean?' I'm not even through the door when I get a text back.

Joan: Can I be honest with you for a second?

Me: NO!!!! okay yeah

Joan: This is really fucked up. I get that she's confused but confused people tend to hurt everyone around them. After hearing about this for the last few months I gotta be honest and just tell you that I don't really fuck with Sabrina right now. This is actual nonsense and you know that. it's not fair to you and it's not fair to her boyfriend. I get that you have your reasons to not like him but that's still her boyfriend and nothing you do can change that. She's just doing whatever she wants and she's not taking anyone else into consideration. I'm sorry, i get that she's a massive part of your life right now but i can't support this anymore.

Me: Yeah. that's all true. Idk. I wont bring it up again.

I put my phone on the charger and head into the shower. I stand in place and stare at the tiles lining the wall.

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I turn on my side, pulling the blanket up over my shoulder. I open instagram and go to Val's account. I've been thinking about her since I last saw her. I click the button for DM and start typing.

"Hey, it was super cool to see you again!! You're so pretty and nice, you added such a good vibe to the function, seriously."

I wish I had talked to her more, but instead I caught glimpses of her through her interactions with Charlie. She's extremely silly and a tad awkward. I noticed her being a very literal communicator. Charlie would throw her head back laughing and proceed to explain what she meant when Val would get confused.

I smile at the memory of Val's grin, which somehow burned into my brain at first sight. I scroll through my feed and the dm banner pops up across the top of my screen. She replied. My heartbeat speeds up and the corners of my mouth turn up involuntarily.

Val: Omg yesss it was cool seeing u again too. Also ur so sweet n pretty too! Next time we gotta sit next to each other bc we didn't get to talk a lot!

I like the message and click my phone off. This is good, making another friend right now might be a good way for me to build a support system and move past things with Sabrina. Joan was right, I'm very...over this.