#“maggot!” will never not be the cutest thing ever

[arpmemething2]

Batman the Animated Series sentence starters

Send one for my muse’s reaction.  Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

"All right, scum bucket, it's you, me, and thirty stories. You're gonna tell me exactly what I want to know."

"That's one way to remove a splinter."

"I have this natural immunity against poisons, toxins, the pain and suffering of others. Go figure."

"I failed you. I wish there were another way for me to say it. I cannot. I can only beg your forgiveness, and pray you hear me somehow, someplace... someplace where a warm hand waits for mine."

"Last time we met, you tried to throw me off a building."

"If you think I've been bad news before..."

"Old and infirm as you are, I'd trade a thousand of my frozen years for your worst day."

"What kind of a saboteur uses a six-thousand dollar Metronex to set a time bomb?"

"I never counted on being happy."

"A strong mind can fuel a frail body."

"I need a new car."

"There's no way you could have escaped from that explosion! How did you get out?"

"I'm gettin' too old for this."

"I suppose what they say is true: society is to blame. High society."

"Succumb to the fear!"

"Gee, it's amazing the things you find in people's glove compartments."

"Children and guns do not mix. Ever."

"I'm having a BAD DAY! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over or blow me up!"

"They're not stupid, and it's your party."

"Aren't they just the cutest family you've ever seen?"

"It's midnight darling, time to unmask."

"It's gonna be one of those nights."

"When you look too long into the abyss, the abyss looks back through you."

"If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?"

"You've got to admit there's something between us."

"There's always time to heal."

"I didn't realize you'd taken up listening to rock and roll."

"Choosing a weekend date?"

"I don't believe in fate."

"An entire city screaming in fear. I wonder if we'll be able to hear it."

"Some thought I'd gone mad. Others thought I always had been. And so they put me where they thought I belonged."

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no tales."

"This city would fall apart without you!"

"I love that trick but I can never make it work."

"Taking up video games, are we?"

"I hate it when he does that."

"You are strong... but not strong enough!"

"They don't make straight jackets like they used to. I should know."

"He's not samurai. He's NINJA. They're spies and assassins. Their only code is to get the job done."

"A pixel is worth a thousand words."

"I am vengeance! I am the night!!"

"And who says opera has to be boring?"

"He always knew how to make an exit."

"Hey! Do I hit your kids? Oh, actually I do..."

"Now boys, didn't your mommies teach you that's not the way to get a lady's attention?"

"Not the robot theory again."

"Freeze, maggots! You're all under arrest!"

"You said you'd never let me go home!"

"What was she before she went bonkers?"

"This used to be a beautiful street. Good people lived here once."

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, and made a small profit, than never to have loved at all!"

"Chance is everything. Whether you're born or not, whether you live or die, whether you're good or bad. It's all arbitrary."

"But you've forgotten the first rule of comedy: if you have to explain the joke... THEN IT ISN'T FUNNY!"

"I told you not to speak!"

"Coming through! Hot stuff!"

"The snow is beautiful, don't you think? Clean, uncompromising..."

"When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping."

"What a pleasant surprise. Though I should warn you - breaking and entering is against the law."

"This could cause a stampede to pork."

"You really know how to put the fun in funeral."

"You ought to put your toys away."

"Would not, could not... would not, could not... oh, could not join the dance."

"Home. I never thought that could sound so good."

"Then I'll see you in your nightmares!"

"As the Bard said, "the fault lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.""

"You know what I'd have given for a death scene like this. Too bad I won't get to read the notices."

"He's a little protective of all this. I think he likes bats better than people."

"All your power and money has bought you an empire of misery."

"Don't try this at home kids!"

"I feel ill."

"Well, that was fun! Now, who's for Chinese?"

"You're about to fall out of orbit."

"Why can't he ever stay dead?"

"They can bury me in the ground, as deep as they like. But I'll grow back. We always grow back. Don't we, baby?"

"All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative."

"You thought I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo! Well, the joke's on you, 'cause I'm not even a real blonde."

"When the wage slaves start acting like they own the place, it's time to pull the plug."

"I've been known to be foolish, but ain't nobody calls me a liar and goes to bed happy."

"Since you don't like my side-splitters, how 'bout a skull-splitter?"

"This is kidnapping, mister! Last time I checked, it was highly illegal!"

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

sometimes i think about the fact that thru u (and rather indirectly through myself) i’m technically only one degree of separation from the actual real neil gaiman. my eleventh grade english teacher would be fangirling so bad right now. but he hasn’t answered any of my emails in the past two months so i fear the 7th graders may have eaten him.

anyway. that’s not at all the point of this.

the point is. my point. is. i read good omens five days before you somehow got stuck in this fandom. i have also never watched the tv show. who the heck is this muriel. why is there ice cream. what is going on. where are my four other horsemen off the apocalypse.

anyway. in summary. hello from the direct opposite but parallel half of the fandom. it’s been a doozy trying to keep up with things and maybe maybe maybe i’ll finally cave and watch the show. until then-

“actually, it was bloody beautiful.”

Hello anon maggot! Well, yes, I suppose that is true...? I remember back in the middle of Jan one of my mutuals said they were mutuals-in-law now with Neil. I'm afraid I have no bloody clue about how mutual culture actually works on tumblr.

I've nearly been two months on here now, but my, uh, vaguely downwards saunter on this hellsite doesn't seem to be the norm. Add to that the fact that during my first summaries of Good Omens, during the first week of Jan, I was questioning whether Neil was fictional or not.

Yeaaaaaah my life's always kinda strange I've learned to roll with it by now. I hope your (former?) English teacher has not, in fact, been eaten by 7th graders. Unless he was a tool, in which case, I hope they feasted on his mortal frame. I'm hoping that since he's a Neil fan he was not a tool and has not been consumed for sustenance by 12 year olds.

The ice cream is a brief scene in the first season, it's an easter egg for the plotline of Sadie and Dottie's whirlwind romance in season 2. I don't think that was included in the book, probably not, because they're actually a nod to characters in one of Terry Pratchett's novels I believe. Their romance is honestly the cutest, to the point that Neil resorted to using ridiculous plot threads of them to ward off people asking for S3 spoilers. But their canon romance, I mean, it's just insane. Muriel is an angel in season 2, they officiate the Sadie-Dottie union. I think they're a scrivener.

Absolutely bloody watch the show it's amazing. Really. It broke me and healed me in the best way and I need to rewatch the first season without the chaos of being newly kidnapped.

Hello to your side of the fandom from the dubiously elected official good omens mascot!! I'm terrified of reading the book because of how every time I see Crowley's name I get emotional, so it's currently sitting by me on my desk till I gain some pretence of stability (it's not possible for show fans to ever have real stability).

[lamiafaae]

Syrphid fly larvae might look like little caterpillars at first glance, but they are actually the cutest maggots precious little guys you have ever saw. Unlike caterpillars or beetle larvae that you might see on plants, hoverfly larvae have no true legs and no discernable head. They also have this distinctive "flailing" motion to get around, which is reason A that I love them.

Reason B I love them is that they are vicious aphid hunters. In my garden personally I've seen them clear out aphid infestations much better than ladybug or lacewing larvae that are advertised for the same thing. They leave behind them a graveyard of empty white husks of dead aphid bodies. The trail of destruction is heartwarming to see. This oregano plant of mine doesn't actually have aphids, it has spider mites, which in my opinion are way way worse, so I'm hoping the syrphids turn out to be just as effective on them. Incidentally, you can't buy hoverflies like you can other pest control; you have to entice them to find you. Anticapitalist icon I guess? Female hoverflies will only lay eggs where there's already a prey population, so I'm hoping finding the larvae here is a sign the spider mites looked tasty enough.

After they pupate, they'll hatch into adults that are definitely familiar to you even if you've never realized who they are. They look like bees or wasps, but have a distinct zipping and pausing pattern of flight. You tend to see them hovering low over grassy fields. If you see one stop long enough, count the wings: two pairs of wings is probably a bee, one pair of wings is probably a hoverfly!

Here's a much larger one on the same oregano plant: https://www.tumblr.com/lamiafaae/752917385890201600/garden-hyperfixation?source=share

[wh-da-backup]

lyrics dump- grade 10 so far

Published: Apr 9, 2011

note: these are bits of lines and lyrics i jotted down from whenever my last lyric dump was until about late january (when i started a new songbook) they are in no particular order, chronological or otherwise.

------

the only thing surrounding me drink the water, it's a part of me immersed with my insanity my insulation from reality -----

we can still be salvaged from this life ----

you drink about music, you brew about leaves you jolt-jump-spark at your own ideas we're easy to talk to, and easy to please come live in my novel, i'm easy to read ----

you bound my arms in puppet strings and dressed me up and made me king and now i bleed imagining i could cut through the puppet strings ----

you'd be even more beautiful without that gun in your hand

you're my favorite waste of time ----

call me names and call me spit bury me in my dug pit oh pity me... pity me...

give me ears to lick and make me beautiful with dumb pinpricks oh pretty me... pretty me...

(and making me tear up my lips oh) ----

I write what I can't say and call it fiction I remember when I used to read sick to my empty/bleeding stomach cesspool genes caffiene dreams ----

the hourglass is filled with quicksand -----

it's cute that you think you'd be so easily replaced; quit calling me pretty, I'm more than a face ----

precious eyes in a beautiful face

stringent dark eyes in a fingernail face ----

I am not down to earth and/or water off in my head somewhere never get things done lazy own daughter

nuclear reactor guild sun fusion sun I'm (a) jaded Ray I'm (a) faded Ray ----

who is standing in the door... way... my heart is a table (my heart is a table) leg and you write on the table (write on the table) write me a new escape ----

eat your solids drink your liquids breathe your gases nothing matters ----

i got your postcard yesteryear the photo said wish you were here but sadly i am out of reach we'll meet again on pensive beach ----

so bombastic oh degrade me

why so shy in silent shell?

leave avec un violon ----

teacups are fragile this one's been pushed over the table's edge

you can hold the pieces together but they'll just fall apart when you remove your hands

and you did but you did the best you can -----

I'll shine in your smile like a firefly's ass

we'll breed the cutest maggots your mother ever saw ---

you feed my ego when i'm broken you're glue ---

I've been known for shooting mirrors no one wants to hold my fingers life is a price

you listen in and think i'm clever stitch the glass and see forever life is nice ----

I can't sleep in this ----

friend, i love you no more scars ----

leave me be I'm no forgever I will have these scars forever ---

this is not a riot, this is the norm. -----

he can read his own mind as you can't do we understand each others' too he wakes at night in violent screams at least he knows what it means to dream ----

all is fair now we're just friends

now we can't move cause we're still friends ----

brainblanks

been thinking about bullets hoping one will lodge

now my mind is blanking no wonder i haven't been shot ----

souls with whom i've shared a room in a house in some past life

it's always better late than never we all love each other now i'm figured out ----

afraid your arms aren't strong enough to crush the world before it crushes her she likes to dream in your ear unconditional listener she likes to hide from everything she wants to tell you all the sad things, things she almost

(things she always) ----

memory barricades everyone sees them your life is tacked up and you dream with your past around ----

to stroke the dreams of anyone dying and be happy for any two people in love ----

butterflies don't cause hurricanes it's the vibrations from knocking on unanswered doors

puzzles click and people feel don't thnk i've ever met such real- life eyes

the hourglass is filled with quicksand and my mouth with sandy lies -----

I like the time you said to me well don't you want it all? and what if overall it's not your fault ------

mentalliterate

out of my mind and out of your mind too we talk all night and lips are last to rest we're like the rats i guess little feet and little hearts the music starts there's nothing talk can do -----

so hot and scary let's compare ea- -ch other's lies

be my fracture let's commit a crime -----

we were down not so long ago broken minds and starving egos

people in a world of creatures, humans, talk, and TV zombies

faster than a speeding taxi best and worst and most indifferent

I know you make all the difference

you and I can say anything true and breathing's all we have to do we can stay and dream for hours nothing has to move -----

you put her in the world, tell her it's wrong to see her breath, she'll stop breathing

you build a perfect world take her and put her in that dress mirror bleeding

(tell her she's no good if she can't fit into that dress mirror-reading)

thin as the paper they're printed on ashamed of their own flesh beauty is fleeting

flesh it what it is, plastic flaws and now you must confess-

she's not breathing -----

he's so shallow she's so callow yet their love is hallowed fools will follow -----

this boy will someday be a man this man was once a child ----

we put us down and say we're ugly we are in denial we are beautiful

and all the empty pages we'll write and turn the stages and they will fill with roses human, we are beautiful -----

I see the shadow we cast on a smile in the sky

I hear you drum again and there are major repercussions

you call yourself my ventillation (rusty ankles pay attention) i don't want to need you to breathe

I'll sing you an alibi

fall asleep and you'll forget me never did remember all your dreams

is there something you're not telling me?

those 13 days are my favorite lucid dream -----

you have CDs now I kept the cassettes mix tapes we made recording the radio remember when we recorded the radio? we always laughed at high school sweethearts secretly wishing we knew each other that young

new year denied me millenium kiss -----

light from all around my friends are ghosts who saved my soul and carry on to heaven whole -----

you'll improvise me a serenade ------

and in the days of gold they smiled and weaved their voices to caress the child

sing until the baby breaks

simple as syrup she's as good as drowned

it leaves a candy wake

drink water

gravity corrects ----

I think we're floating out to see we'll build a flag to save our sanity our love is paranoid and in a drowned world there are some things that only swimmers know the sea recedes and she will not grow old -----

should it be something i admire should it be something i resent it seems i'm only smiling when i'm smiling on your latest compliment

when i dress like a bruise ----

on a bridge where rivers meet so cold but not quite freezing the swimmers you and i won't join it seems to me this is a dream

and in the end it's all beneath i'd kiss your teeth and drag my feet and in the end is this the end everything's fair now we're just friends ----

no one's gonna take your records you can paint the walls any colour you like

know i'm never gonna leave you you can stay with me -----

voulez-vous, voulez-vous, you ask the questions but don't follow through

too few freckles under the wrong eye ----

your nickname reminds me of razors i'm sorry i've got a dark mind ----

she is the prettiest poison in apology glass bottles they'll break on your face as soon as you kiss one ----

and wait for the Aurora, borre Alice and as Aurora bore Alice she has been erased -----

we brought her home today she's got a deep voice and when she cries the floor shakes ----

you're so commercial there's industry in misery

you're clueless like me -----

my heart's feet under my mind is caught in my throat tread all the water I got I wish I could float

my heart's feet under my mind is caught in my throat tread all the water I got til the water... chokes

I don't expect a stranger to row up in a life boat don't expect a savior to show up with a raincoat do you expect the answer to show up at your door I don't ----

I've got you in a jar you should not have told me that I seem to like to tap on glass how long before you get tired of this? you'll only get all cut up again breaking out twist around the other way you'll tangle up your puppet strings cutting through the puppet strings -----

the transient

it was all a stupid dream I woke up with your jewelry on my throat -----

tugging on my strands of hair and thanks to you I'm stranded here ----

to see you as i do i wish that you could you're a little to rough on yourself, I believe if it isn't enough if your writing is "good" you can grow as an artist but fire won't breathe

it's life or death for your ideas a title that transcends the years you'll always mean a lot to me regardless of whether you're man of the century -----

he's got music in his head

I want you to be happy even if it means i'm left behind -----

the whole time I was thinking how she's so much more perfect than me with each other you can be yourselves I'm a skeptic- I warp reality

I hate my smile the two of yours spell perfect chemistry you figured out soon enough I'm not the replacement your heart thought I would be

no date no hurt I hope I'm not jealous, if I am it's only of your happiness no lies no secrets everyday in silence, my thoughts growing heavy in my pockets ------

don't mind me I'm only special ---

you cry yourself an ocean hoping it'll drown you I'm sick of playing coast guard to your soul -----

screw the rules, say whatever you want within the walls of the school ----

I saw the light I saw the light I saw the light it passed right through you are you wearing thin my friend?

I saw the guns they were shining in the sun you were born with an army in your hand have you sent them marching in my friend? off to distant lands... ----

my beauty only lies within the clouded eyes on my beholder beholder is no longer blinded I'm a dream you won't remember -----

not gonna kill myself over a bad day, used to be yours but it's your loss anyway -----

stitch-hearted smiles ------

ask me what I'm writing it's ruined and YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT THERE I get a new enemy every year and I make him promise not to care (well it never works) ----

planets in the sewers full of shaved-off hair that's gotta go somewhere -----

love seems to scare you- let's talk about death

like a river, will you take me? ----

I feel better for having spoken ----

you can suck my APATHY

do they speak in signals do the signals carry speech?

we're not broken up just changed

all I do is drink your voice

If I loved somebody I'd be important

my lungs aren't lungs they're a summed-up mess ------

(these are old cause i saved them for some reason)

what are these crystal spheres they fall like rain yeah fall like rain what is this sticky river raindrops fall and sting the spring

red the fissures cut like scizzors red the oil, yeah red black gold my soul the fissures cut like scizzors red the oil, uh red black gold my soul

tangle me in metal strings and string me up like in my dreams

I feel left out of my own conversations silence is an innovation rowing nowhere on a rubber stream

shot my twin brother, thought he was me

saw pavlov's dog chasing schrodinger's cat

I write all these songs 'bout a soul in denial neglected to mention that person was me

there will be other mud-spattered clothing

tournez la page en vie and rivers run avant de vous fermez un oeil

the road will be long the path will be varied some climb to the top and then others are carried

I'd tell my friends but then they would care cause of drama, sew-sight scare

we all need change to complain about

you'll take away my children to own and abuse them and make them your bitch you could turn me into a whore for my fame it aint gonna happen i already know your name

tenderly kiss the gangrene don't be ashamed of your sores rotting is only human

I can't stand this body knowing these are the arms you died in

it's a supernova

I relate to people fine if they're like me

fame is vivisection

the dogs start whining, I already fed you today (lay down) ------

you wear yourself well ----

I'm such a waste I take up space but if the space is in your heart then it's ok ----

he can't sing like an angel or scream like a rock star -----

the earth is pressed against my body she said, "I am electrifying, better out me in charge." ----

I'm ok with anything you want because I know you wouldn't want too much through voices taunting and picture eyes that haunt this is trust ----

your face is flushed, I'm turning read where love is dead the notes have bred you're right about the things you said you're hollow wings, a clouded head -----

she's sitting there painting her suicide portrait notes are for writers she thought to herself

she's been walking on flashlights ever since the coals ran out and she thought all the guitars were teeth to whom will she them all bequeath? ----

my heart is a brick ----

it's got an average mean meaning nothing means nothing means nobody means ----

forget the pages, take my dreams ---

I think that these novels have gone to your head let us be what we are, and not what you've read ------

used to think I was the best, I wasn't good enough I guess ----

loved ones strewn about the floor whoever are you waiting for? ----

speak in reply to conform to convention, speak out of turn and you'll catch my attention ----

I've been an enigma lately because you can't read your own handwriting ------

(this one is also from 9th grade)

you broke into my home passed out on the bed left dream marks on the pillow next to your intoxicated head oh no... won't you see this through?

you opened up your eyes scremaing locked and red slurred the words and asked me not to hear the stupid things you said oh no... won't you see this through? don't go... the sky of blackened blue ------

for a second there i believed in myself turns out you thought i was someone else -----

never gonna grow up always gonna lie never gonna be too pretty might as well die ------

you were only a dream but you were my favorite dream

fire's out

you realized I'm no replacement ------

like this guitar my walls have scars we've all got scars because of me -----

say things to me you needed someone to say to I just want someone I can say

one for change and one to keep it

been thinking about you got nothing better to do

you don't deserve these pictures I wish I could pray your nightmares gone

--------

Unfinished Songs in my Songbook

jeans getting too tight on my legs feet getting too big for my shoes anger's getting too much for my skin to hold one of these days, gonna break lose

body's getting too frail for the grip (my addictions) ego's swelling to great for my skull (go on feed it) hair in my face too long to see anything one of these days, losing control --------

I'm sad, it's hereditary guess I got blue genes oh ha ha very funny it's got an average mean meaning nothing means nothings means

you're bad, this is necessary pass on your cesspool genes we'll smile on our offspring teach them the average mean meaning nobody means nobody means nothing means nothing means

I'm done with thinkin about old wars we'll breed the cutest maggots your mother ever saw

[mkarchin713]

This- Robin was definitely not trained for this.

It started when Kitten and Fang kidnapped the titans, why Beast Boy trusted that pizza guy Robin would never know, they never ordered pizza from D’Angelo’s.

Either way the Titans had woken up in some weird cross between a mad science lab, goopy egg chamber from a bad alien movie and a suburban living room.

They had barely awakened when the TV turned on. It was Kitten, gussying herself up. She barely acknowledged the camera when she began speaking.

Dear Titans, tonight is very important to me, you see it’s Fang and I’s anniversary and my Fangy poo has surprised me with a romantic date. Now this would normally have nothing to do with you but unfortunately my dads out of town and I need somebody to watch the little grub. The pay is twenty dollars an hour and you are welcome to anything in the fridge and if anything happens to maggot for brains I will personally destroy all of your lives and then feed the rest of you to Fang. Tootles

None of the Titans had time to say anything before Kitten cut the transmission, in their defense they where all gagged. Luckily their restraints deactivated when the transmission ended. None of them knew who this “little grub” or “maggot for brains” was. At least until something pulled on Ravens cape.

Holding on to Ravens cape was the most ugly cute thing they had ever seen. It was like someone combined a poodle moth with the worlds cutest kid. He had silky white hair and giant bright green eyes and wearing a Martian Manhunter onesie.

I want Dino nuggets

Oh. Oh no. Kitten couldn’t have.

Batman had never trained Robin to do this

The titans where about to face their biggest challenge yet.

Baby Sitting.

GIW scientist: "What was the one thing we specifically told you to do."

GIW Guard: "Not get attached..."

GIW scientist: "What was the one thing we specifically told you not to do."

GIW Guard: "Get attached..."

GIW scientist: "And what did you do?"

GIW Guard: "Get attach-"

GIW scientist: "YOU GOT A-FUCKING-TTACHED!"

===

The GIW finally managed to get their hands on the Phantom menace, thankfully helped by the recent changes in the ghost in a Moth-like direction, and with the recent explosion giving it an orphan status, it was all too easy to get the ghost into their hands.

Of course, there was the ghost's godfather, but a few government tricks and he was erased from having any to all connection with the thing.

But due to it being the Phantom menace, it was quite difficult to control. So that lead to one scientist having the brilliant (sarcasm) idea to run a test that made it more... manageable.

That somehow involved it becoming a child, with the added and original plus with its powers no longer being easily controlled by it. But that, paired with a child-like mind didn't become well.

At the very least, it was easier to physically subdue when it wasn't throwing a tantrum. But they encountered another problem that came as an unintentional side-effect.

It was cute.

Like a stuff toy you would sleep with as a child, or a show with a cutesy art style and anything that just made one go "Awww" and that? That was a problem.

The guards just didn't have to become attached, and everything shouldn't been fine. But one of them did and that somehow lead to the thing escaping and that was highly annoying.

Oh well, it shouldn't have gotten too far, all things considered. Various injuries aside, its powers do not come as easily as it did to it before, and there were not many times to practice ones such as flight.

It will come back to their hands, either forcefully, or willingly.

===

Danny, fully pumped on adrenaline and fear, has been pushing himself to fly for he doesn't even know how long. But he's becoming very tired, and can feel his power slipping from his fingertips.

Or maybe that was the blood, he couldn't tell.

He kept going, pushing himself farther past his limit to just, escape. But he couldn't do so forever, he had to drop sometime, and that time seemed to be coming closer with each and every passing second.

Eventually, he dropped, and he quickly tried to do that gliding thing he was kinda good at. It helped, though he did hit into a few trees, here and there, but he got down to the forest floor, fell, got up, and forced himself to walk.

His vision was really fuzzy, everything he touched felt like static beneath his fluffy hands and feet, and he could hear everything so clearly yet nothing at all.

He just had to keep walking, and he would be okay.

Just persevere, and everything would turn out okay.

Everything would be, okay.

He just had to keep moving.

Even if his legs felt like static, his chest burning and his wings dragging behind him as he found it harder and harder to breath as black started to eat away at his vision.

Everything would be okay.

He just had to persevere.

Eventually, he couldn't, falling to the forest floor as his eyes slowly dropped as black consumed his vision.

He couldn't persevere.

===

So, Killer Moth was just in a forest, as one would, looking for quite the rare specimen of Moth larvae that he could use in his plot to take over Jump City.

Why this forest?

It was pretty far away from Jump City, that's why. No pesky Titans to interrupt his search here, which happened once, wasn't fun might he add.

During said collection, he found what looked to be a child passed out on the forest floor.

Now, any reasonable person would question why there was a child on the forest floor, which he was tempted to do, before realizing that said child is perhaps an escaped experiment, based on the precise wounds upon his body.

Said child was a moth humanoid.

He didn't like that, someone tried to take his theme!

Oh well, their loss, his gain. Another moth to add to his ever-growing army, and his another he could use in his attempt to take over Jump City.

Also, finder's keepers.

[mistertf2xreaderfluffballcake]

Hey! I love this blog so much. I was wondering if you could do kissing headcanons for each of the mercs? Any kind of kiss too! I hope you're doing well :)

Oh yes! I knew this day would come! I think I am prepared to write this (。-`ω-) I think. damn...kissing...Just be warned. Some might be short some will be long. Sorry I just feel so tired today so yeah need a bit of a break. My back hurts...*crack* (like the sound you hear when you crack a glowstick) I am now glowing! yey. (wtf is wrong with me lmao)

Scout

Oh, this fast boy, his kisses are random. Just like rolling dice. You don't know what kind of kiss you will get. He sometimes does surprise kisses, little pecks, a whole ass kiss you really don't know. His favorite is quick and unexpecting kisses. Your face of shock is so cute! Oh! Then guess what Lisa! He- *surprise kiss out of nowhere* Hehe love ya babe! *dashes to somewhere else* *s/o freezes* ??? Haha, s/o your face is bright red. Oh shut up Lisa.

Soldier

This soldier is...hmmm, it is rough. Yeah, like the vibe is soft but the way it feels is rough...in a way but don't at the same, idk. He kisses you wherever he feels like it. Public or private he does not care. Oh, you're talking to scout? nope. I think he instead enjoys it a little when he does kisses in public. To him, it is the universal sign of HEY MAGGOTS! THIS CUPCAKE IS MINE!! Soldier... *sign and blush* Ew what the fuck. (←scout) lmao

Pyro

It is random, but not as random as scout tho. They give you little pecks with their mask very often. You are cooking? *little peck* You are cleaning your weapon? *little peck* You killing the enemy on the battlefield? *Little peck* He does it whenever. Its so cute! *little peck* Aww thanks pyro! *you give back a peck too* !? Blushes like crazy while jumping up and down. Mmmph!! :))

Engineer

Soft. It is so soft help. You will melt. He would just suddenly kiss you while you are cleaning your weapon. *soft kiss* !? Hehe, your cute reaction never gets boring. He likes to keep it private but! If he feels playful he will unexpectedly suddenly kiss you. Sneaky Texan man mode: ON. Another thing is that he loves is cheek kisses. Hell yeah, quick and easy. He likes to boop your nose after the kiss.

Heavy

His kisses are soft, very very gentle. He will do it at the right moment instead of doing it randomly/unexpectedly. It is perfect. You two were chilling in his room, he then just cupped your face and kissed you gently. Heavy loves s/o :)). AWWW Me too heavy *you kiss him back* He also likes to pat your head while kissing :))).

Demoman

Sloppy kiss. (nothing bad about them) He will surprise kiss you a lot. Hey s/o look behind you. *surprise lip kiss* W-What!? Hehe, I gotcha ya! He is so cheeky. He is such a cheeky little one. Suprise kisses everywhere. lol. Both public and private! Your blushing face is just so dang cute. He will surprise kiss you even during battle! S/o! Look! Hmm? *surprise kiss yet again* Hehe, sorry just needed a recharge! Lord help my heart and soul this cute boy is gonna explode my heart into pieces.

Sniper

...He loves doing small pecks on your forehead. Just a little cute peck. But! He also likes a proper kiss too you know! When he does he is the cutest thing ever. When he does kiss you he will cover his red face with his hat. Aww, sniper let me see your adorable face. N-No i-it ain't cute! .......*whisper voice* Y-You are 100 times cu-cuter. Sniper, did you say something? Nothing! He also likes to give quick nose boops when he is busy. *Boop* Hehe, That's cute love. :).

Medic

He has two modes honestly, one is I am a fluffy doctor and the other is I am a flirty doctor. (yes he is back :>)When he fluffy doctor he will give you little cheek kisses. Just like Archimedes does to you!! But...when he is a flirty boy... He is so unpredictable. You could be reading a book then he would just suddenly take the book, and kiss you. He would then whisper in your ear ''Oh sorry s/o. I just needed treatment since I was lovesick~♡'' (if you read my crap you know this weird reference) He is such a flirty boy, isn't he. N-Nothing wrong with that or anything.

Spy

He is a smooth boy. Oh hell yeah. He will spin you around and then put one hand on your waist before kissing you deeply. Just like in a romance movie. It is very romantic. He will only do this in private tho. ''Oh~Mon Amour why are you so cute honestly'' (this is his inside head voice there is no way in fuck he going to say that out loud but he really does lol) He also likes hand kisses. In a way, it is just a reminder of how much he loves you. All that cheesy romantic crap is private. There is no way in hell he is going to do that in public, all that cute stuff where he literally melts in your arms is only for you in private. :< (you're fine with it tho, it then just means that you can keep all that cute faces/reactions to yourself!)

So yeah, I am tired as fuck my stomach has just been doing 100 backflips for the past hour. So...Hope you enjoy anon! I had a fun time writing this! Let me just go take a break. So yeah um, bye, hope you have a good day!

[sunshineistyping]

How would the H!animatronics be with a s/o in the mafia, who can list all the various ways someone's death can be made to look like an accident if their partner/family is insulted/threatened, but the moment they're insulted/threatened, their brain blue-screens?

I got you

——————

Sun: Worried, always worried...extremely worried. Constantly. He loves his S/O but like...they’re a little crazy. That is until he sees them with absolutely nothing to say for once. In which case he promptly glares down at the person who insulted them and walks away with his S/O in tow. So his S/O isn’t full crazy, just mostly crazy. Good to know!

Moon: He thinks his S/O is the cutest little badass when they insult people in such ways. He loves watching them get aggressive because it’s funny. Then they shut down when insulted and suddenly he’s the one you should be afraid of. The second his S/O shuts down he steps into the ring with all the knowledge he was given by them. He’s dangerous...

Freddy: Always reprimands his S/O for saying those things. You shouldn’t stoop to their level! At least that’s what he preaches, this man is horrifying when he’s pissed. The second he sees his S/O shut down he’s infinitely worse, his mouth is evil. Very very evil. I swear if he had the power to summon a demon he would. Then he just leaves with his S/O clinging to his arm...but he never forgets a face.

Roxanne: In a similar way to Moon, she thinks it’s pretty badass. She whole heartedly encourages it, hell she asks for tips for how to scare people that way. She’s actually kind of excited when her S/O explains and teaches her. Then her S/O shuts down. And suddenly instead of going for the insults she goes for the throat. Literally. She’ll hold the offender by the neck, above the ground and questions how willing she is to go to jail today

Chica: The poor thing is always anxious when her S/O does that. She really wishes her S/O wouldn’t be so aggressive, truly, it scares her. She doesn’t want her S/O to get hurt and that’s the only person she cares about in that situation. When her S/O quiets down she almost immediately will grab them and walk away, not before calling the other person a bitch though.

Monty: He’s just as horrifically mean with people who insult the people he cares about so he likes it. He enjoys that his S/O can control a situation the same way, but he knows everyone has limits. So when he sees his S/O shut down he swings. I mean it. He SWINGS WITH HIS FULL STRENGTH. HE WILL BREAK THEIR NOSE OR DISLOCATE THEIR JAW HE DOESNT CARE. He’s a bit violent 😅

DJ MM: He disapproves of it completely and utterly. He will never ever encourage it nor will he allow his S/O to say those things when he’s around. However, if someone makes his S/O shut down he gets more then just intimidating. He gets a bit aggressive. He looks down at them like they’re a maggot and promptly leans down. Whispering all the awful things he’ll do if they don’t get the FUCK out of here

———————-

[hey-there-love]

Foolish

Summary: Being the new kid is hard right? Try moving across the world to attend the elite hero course at U.A. Unfortunately following the path of straight and narrow is difficult when you find a blonde ball of death throwing twists in it. Nobody said it was easy. New experiences, new friends, new interests...what could go wrong?

Chapter 2: Oh You’re Feisty

Content Warnings: Adult Language, Cringy Situations

Word Count: 2.2K

Once you gathered yourself, you opened the door and peaked around, searching for any sign of life. Grateful you were by yourself, you began to search for towels. After they were located, you washed the grime from the long flight away.

Quickly you got dressed, brushed your hair, and began to apply a light coat of mascara. You began to sing to yourself to calm your nerves about meeting your new class mates.

“Are you singing Ariana Grande? I love her!” Someone squealed, rushing into the bathroom. You jumped at the voice and managed to hit your lid with the whole mascara wand. You clutched your chest and whipped your head around.

“Hey look! Twins!” The pink girl cracked a joke. You embarrassingly horse laughed because she wasn’t wrong. She had sweet deep eyes that were black and brown.

“I swear I think I’ll have a heart attack before I even start my classes here.” You shook your head and inspected the damage to your makeup. You ran your finger under the faucet and began to scrub your eyelid making the simple error into a huge smudge. You groaned and glanced back to her with pleading eyes.

“Here,” she began digging into a drawer, pulling out a pack of makeup wipes. “Uraraka usually keeps these in here.”

“I’m assuming you’re Mina, my new neighbor right?” You questioned, thankful as you wiped the makeup off.

“You’d be correct! It’s good to meet you Y/N. I can already tell we’re going to be fast friends. Cute jeans by the way.”

“Thanks! I got these from H&M. I literally bought every color , so if you ever wanna borrow a pair let me know.”

“I’ll definitely take you up on that offer! Are you ready? Dinner is almost done and I figured I’d come check on you.” She responded, taking a seat on the counter top next to you.

“I am. Just let me drop my stuff off in my room.” You said opting to give up on the mascara after your incident. You finished primping and picked your things up.

As you walked back to your room she began to question your previous statement. “Who else gave you a heart attack? You’ve only been here for an hour!”

“Oh, actually I was heading into the bathroom and I guess I wasn’t paying attention and I crashed right into a guy. I felt so bad.” You said, unlocking your room and setting your things down on the desk.

“It was probably Kirishima! He came back downstairs whenever I got up. ” She giggled and leaned against your door frame.

“Well he definitely laughed at me after he pulled my underwear off of my shoulder!” You said slapping yourself in the forehead.

“Oh my gosh!” Mina squealed. “He never said anything so I guess your secret it safe. I hope they were old lady underwear for his sake. He definitely gets flustered easily.”

“He didn’t blush in the least and it was a thong! I don’t even think I could look him in the eye! Wait what does he look like?” You asked examining yourself for a final time and spraying a little bit of body spray.

“Spiked red hair, sharp teeth, the cutest boy wonder smile ever.” She gushed. That definitely wasn’t who you encountered.

“No it wasn’t him then, he had a permanent look of disgust. ” Her eyes grew wide and your face dropped. “What?”

“KATSUKI FREAKING BAKUGO TOUCHED YOUR PANTIES?” She hollered, making your ears ring. You shushed her not wanting to relive the experience.

“Not so loud! I don’t need everyone to know about my underwear!” You cried out , cheeks heating up.

“That’s hilarious. King of Murder and Destruction Bakugo. Laid hands. On. Your. Thong.” You swore she was about fall over laughing.

“Do you think he said anything?” You covered your face, completely and utterly mortified.

“Maybe just Kirishima because they’re best bros, but he despises everyone else so you have nothing to worry about!”

You groaned. “Can we please forget that ever happened and go?” Pleading as you pushed her out the door.

“Sure thing bestie my lips are sealed.” Mina replied, mimicking a zip and locking her mouth. She then looped her arm through yours and made you skip to the elevator.

“Can you give me a quick run down of what I’m about to walk into?” You questioned as she pressed the button on the elevator.

“Well, the girls are the most awesome people you’ll ever meet. You’ve met Momo, but there’s Jiro, who has a great taste in tunes but kinda moody. Uraraka, the biggest ray of sunshine on the planet. Hakegure, who has the best personality ever. Tsu, is a little different, but is hilarious, and of course the greatest person you’ll ever meet...me!” She laughed, squeezing your arm.

“And the guys...well they’re guys of course. Kirishima, a total sweetheart and a feminist might I add. Midoryia, nice kid but villain magnet. Ayoma, he’s from France and I think he’s on the DL if you catch my drift. Absolutely at all costs stay away from Mineta. The little grape asshole with give you permanent taste of vomit in your mouth.” You crinkled your nose at the last comment. She continued, “Todoroki, which is the number one pro her Endeavor’s son and a total hottie.” She wagged her eyebrows making you laugh. “Shinso, who is the strong quiet type. Tokoyami, very respectful, the type you’d take home for Sunday dinner.”

“There’s Sero, he gives great advice he’s almost like the class therapist. Koda is a modern day Snow White and has the cutest bunny ever. Sato bakes like it’s nobody’s business and will literally make you gain 10 pounds. Then finally there’s the angry Pomeranian Bakugo.” Mina finished finally. You were pretty sure she just ran out of breath after trying to explain to you quickly before the elevator doors opened.

Mina guides you through the threshold where a bright banner read ‘Welcome to Class 3-A Y/N!’ “That’s so nice!” You said excitedly and pulled out your phone to snap a picture. Low music flowed through the large room as people mingled. No one seemed to notice that you two had joined the group. “Hello? The guest of honor is here!” Mina called out. Soon there were eyes centered on you. You waved slightly to the crowd.

You were met with bright grins and greetings. “Well hello gorgeous.” Someone spoke, you began to search for the voice. “Hey, I’m right here!” You looked slightly down and discovered a...vertically challenged boy staring at you. Well he was actually trying to stare at your boobs through your baggy sweatshirt.

“Um...hey? My eyes are up here dude.” You grimaced. Mina rolled her eyes.

“Oh I know this view is much sexier. I’m Minuro Mineta, class 3-A stud. What’s your name babe?” He wiggled his eye brows and blew you a kiss.

Ugh gross. You thought.

“This is Y/N. Back away now maggot or I’ll crush you like a bug.” Mina hissed.

“Ooooh. I’ve never been stepped on before, but if you’re doing it Mina I’d love to try.” He smirked back licking his lips. A blonde quickly rushed over and pushed Mineta back before Mina lunged at him.

“Whoa dude chill. Let her acclimate before you start being gross. I’m Denki Kaminari by the way.” He said sticking out his fist. You extended yours and fist bumped him.

“Hey, I’m Y/N nice to meet you.” You replied.

“Weren’t you interning with Hopewing back in the States? She totally rocks, I actually got her autograph whenever we went to the I-Expo a few years back.” Kaminari seemed pretty interested in the Pro Hero so you indulged him a little.

“Sure did, she taught me a whole lot about quirk control and management. Hopewing was a great influence on me, she’s kinda like my All Might I guess.” You laughed and scratched the back of your head.

“Super cool,” Kaminari replied, “Come meet the guys we were all actually interested in your quirk. Maybe you could show it off?” He grabbed your hand and lead you over to the couch where a few people sat talking. You looked over your shoulder at Mina who gave you a thumbs up.

“Guys, this is Y/N! She’s pretty cool!” Kaminari said eagerly. A chorus of greetings rang in your ears. “Kirishima, Sero, Todoroki, and Bakubro.” He pointed to each one of them and sat down on the arm of the couch, leaving you awkwardly standing infront of the group. You met Bakugo’s eyes for a split second before gaining a glare and quickly averted your eyes.

“So where are you from?” Kirishma questioned.

Before you could answer Bakugo spoke up, “The states dumbass where else?” He crossed his arms across his chest. His friend glanced at him and stuck his tongue out.

“Ignore him, he hasn’t eaten since this afternoon. He gets a little cranky when he doesn’t fed around the clock.” He reached across and pinched Bakugos cheek lightly.

“Remove your hand Shitty hair before I blast your ass.” Bakugo scowled.

“See?”

“Shitty hair...” He warned and his hand began to heat up emitting a small cloud of smoke. The group rolled their eyes.

“Anyways, I’m from Chicago, Illinois.” You answered before Bakugo could make his threat a reality. You weren’t really scared, but slightly intimidated by the man.

“Is that kinda like New York City?” Sero questioned thoughtfully.

“Kinda. Chicago isn’t nearly as big.”

“You must be tired from the flight over.” Todoroki spoke up noticing you were getting standing uncomfortablely. He stood up from the love seat he sat on, offering you his spot.

“It’s no biggie. I’m just over this jet lag.” You said, ushering him to sit back down.

“Well at least sit with me then? I’m respectful.” He continued before you took him up on his offer and sat down on the arm of the chair.

“Of course you are Icy-Hot.” Bakugo mocked. The comment being brushed off.

The hell was this dudes problem?

“The jet lag is kinda awful, but it’ll be nothing compared to this time change. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep much tonight, I might just finish unpacking everything.” You said leaning back and closing your eyes for a second.

“Well if you need some help I’d be more than happy to assist my floor neighbor.” Kirishma offered.

“I’d actually really like that I have a book shelf that needs to be put together and I have no handiness what so ever.” You smiled. You felt eyes on you and peaked at Bakugo from your peripheral.

“So, like I saying earlier...this quirk?” Kaminari spoke up breaking the encounter with Kirishma.

“Kaminari why do I feel like you only friended me for my quirk?” You joked sarcastically.

“I did not! I’m just saying I think you owe me a demonstration since I practically saved you from Mineta humping your leg.” Sero fake gagged.

“Fine fine. Todoroki, I’d scoot over just a little bit I don’t want to ruin your vision like mine.” You said. His eyes grew wide and squeezed himself into the opposite arm of the chair. You closed your eyes and began to relax your body then staring at your finger tip. Your finger began to glow.

“That’s it?” Bakugo said, unimpressed. All of a sudden your hand began to glow blue before plasma rose through your skin. You began to use your other hand to shape it into a sphere. You tossed it slightly in the air and caught it before absorbing it back into your hand. You smiled

“Whoa...” the group responded. “What’s that called?” Sero questioned.

Just as you were about to share a guy came running over. “You have Ultra Violence?” He yelled and planted himself sitting across from you on the edge of the coffee table.

“You know my quirk?” You asked propping your elbows on your knees.

“Of course! I can’t believe I didn’t put it together before you got here! You’re the daughter of Stage Four! The plasma hero! His whole body can change into plasma! Can you do that too?” He said as he pulled a notebook out of seemingly thin air.

“Damn Deku. I thought I burned that thing?” Bakugo said, nostrils flaring.

“Oh you did Kachan...multiple times.” The guy said showing off the burn edges. He nervously smiled.

“Put that weird shit away before I finish it.”

“I think it’s cool. I’d like to see it sometime.” You said motioning to his prized possession.

“Just cause you’re new doesn’t mean you have to kiss everyone’s ass, you know.” Bakugo retorted.

“Are you just jealous because I’m not kissing yours?” You countered, a sly smile spreading across your lips.

He paused, thinking of a response. Obviously flustered, “Tch, screw you newbie.”

“Jeez Bakugo, if you suck your teeth anymore they’ll go straight down your throat.”

It looks could kill, you’d be 6 feet under. A small amount of smoke began to rise from him until he huffed and stormed away.

“Well shit, I think she just might make it around here. She defused the bomb!” Kaminari clapped and grinned ear to ear. You sat back down feeling completely flushed.

“Dinner is served!” Iida called from the kitchen.

“Midoryia right?” You asked. The green haired boy nodded his head quickly. “We’ll talk later and I can answer all your questions.” You smiled kindly and placed a hand of his arm, squeezing lightly

[sage-nebula]

So I’ve watched the first four episodes of Yashahime and these are my thoughts so far:

Moroha is a complete dumbass and I love her so much. She 100% traded the only braincell she had for some cool demon thing she could sell and I support her for that decision all the way.

The whole stoic-or-angry thing Setsuna has going on is kind of boring and not very interesting to me, especially since it seemed like they just wanted her to act like Sesshoumaru. But then it turns out that she’s like this because she hasn’t slept in 10 years, and honestly, that’s the only acceptable explanation. Girl is tirritable (tired+irritable) as hell, and I can’t blame her because I would be too. Get this girl some Lunesta, stat.

I’m really happy that they didn’t go for the “child was adopted but doesn’t really see these people as her family” trope with Towa. Towa calling Souta “Papa Souta” is the cutest thing, and I also do love her relationship with Mei. Also, that part where she’s like, “Girls have to be feminine, and boys have to be masculine. I’m really tired of that” was a TOTAL mood, girl same. I’ve hated it for all 30 years of my life and trust me, that hatred for it never goes away.

On that note, Towa has some definite queer energy going on and I’m living for it. Moroha has a bit too, although the fact that it came through her flirting with her cousin was something that squicked me. Don’t go there, Sunrise. Please don’t go there. Please get Moroha a girlfriend she doesn’t share DNA with, please and thanks.

Meanwhile, four episodes in and I think that we can all agree that this sequel has made Sesshoumaru the worst father to ever exist. Mans literally takes his newborn twins from a village and then almost immediately abandons them in a forest, like ??? If you didn’t want them, why did you take them? Then there’s also Setsuna’s “trial of courage or cowardice” or whatever it was that presumably Sesshoumaru gave her? Like tf was that??

On that note, the fact that Sesshoumaru picked up his newborn twins from Kaede’s village raised my hackles because that’s the village where Rin was staying, and if they really go the route where Sesshoumaru groomed Rin I will drop this anime like a maggot-ridden hot potato. But honestly, so far that’s the only “hint” that could point toward the most disgusting outcome. (I know that Rin is also in the Tree of Ages with Kagome, but that doesn’t automatically make her the twins’ mom.) I actually feel like Kagura being the twins’ mother has stronger points toward it, given that Towa has red eyes like Kagura did, and Setsuna’s primary demon ability is a wind power. But then that begs the question of how she came back to life for Sesshoumaru to hook up with her, because I’m pretty sure she died in the original series. Hm.

inb4 the twins’ mom is some nameless village woman we’ll never properly meet.

Or Kaede. (I KID, I KID.)

Towa better find a way to get back to the modern era or I swear I’ll be pissed. Like her FAMILY is there. To paraphrase Yondu from Guardians of the Galaxy 2: “[Sesshoumaru] might be your father, Towa, but he’s not your daddy.” All Sesshoumaru did was knock up Towa’s mom. SOUTA is the one who raised her, and therefore SOUTA is her REAL father.

If I had to put the three main girls on an alignment chart, then Towa would be Lawful Stupid, Setsuna would be Neutral Stupid, and Moroha would be Chaotic Stupid.

I love that it’s 2020 and the animation for Sesshoumaru flying away looks as stupid as ever. Just a still image of him floating off into the sky. Majestic.

I hate that it’s 2020 and they had to force a “sit boy!” in there despite the fact that Inuyasha and Kagome are officially a couple now. There’s not even the excuse of “slapstick is the humor of the time” because it’s really not. Kagome causing physical harm to Inuyasha for no reason at all is not funny, and I’d also say it’s OoC for her considering that “gag” stopped partway through the manga and never returned. Kagome deserves better.

I would also like to know where Inuyasha is since apparently he’s not in the tree but apparently also abandoned his child. I guess abandoning your children just runs in the Great Dog Demon bloodline. Also, since it seems to be only women in the Tree of Ages, I wonder if we should start calling it the Fridge of Ages instead.

Anyway, I’ll probably watch episodes 5-7 tomorrow, since that’s what Crunchyroll has up at the moment. I’ll give more thoughts then. So far I’m enjoying it but, again, if they dare make Rin the mom, I will absolutely drop it the instant that becomes canon and never touch it again. Don’t do it, Sunrise. Don’t you dare. Have more integrity than that. Pick anyone else. Almost anyone else would be a better choice. Kaede would be a better choice. Do the right thing, Sunrise. Just do the right thing.

[chaninfused]

Today, this mediocre blog turns one year old.

And it’s not much, but it’s something, for sure. I’m happy to be writing this, mainly because I didn’t expect to write it in the first place. Coming here, I had no aspirations for this blog. Write and post, that was my initial intent, but I’m glad to say I have found and created much more. As cliché as it sounds, I’ve learned and improved quite a lot, both as a person and a writer. Never in my life had I imagined myself writing y/n stories, yet here I am, and I’m content.

As much as I complain, I cannot deny that this place made this year bearable so far. Everyone, from my friends to my silent readers, made this experience fun, despite the various disappointments of 2020 (ahem, a ruined senior year). For that, I think it’s time to move to the important parts of this letter; all I have to say to you!

First, I must thank the friends that gave me something to look forward to each day. I am honored to have met you all, whom I have spoken to daily or spontaneously. Thank you for keeping up with my sucky person antics!

@luvhjs, I often wonder if we could’ve ever met if @skzwritersclub didn’t exist, or if you didn’t decide to join our fetus network, and I always conclude that it’s not something I want to think about. Simply because it’s horrifying. I might not express it properly, but our friendship is one I treasure beyond words. Thank you for panicking with me over silly things, listening to my nonsense rambles, and in all sincerity, being the best there is. A hundred ‘I love you’s randomly arriving in your inbox would never be enough, but I hope you know that I love you, and I wish you all the best, all the time ♡

@missinghan, I don’t know where to begin, and honestly, I don’t know where to stop either. I don’t regret screaming into your dms that day, although I’m deeply sorry for terrifying you (oops!). All jokes aside, I truly don’t know what I’ve done to deserve a friend like you. I’m grateful for each conversation we’ve had, even that one about maggot cheese or those depressing texts about our dying dashboards. I solemnly believe that I would’ve lost my mind during spring break had we not spent careless hours on Tumblr talking about anything that could possibly be talked about. I feel like I couldn’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me; for hearing my writing rants to handling my dramatics to just being there when I send a good morning text in all caps. You are incredible, it is not just a silly nickname. I love you, and I know affection is gross but I’m saying it again. I love you! ♡

@meiiyue, hey, remember when you told me you knew me from Wattpad? That was our first proper interaction, and I am so glad I had gotten to know you better after that. We often joke about it, but I love your love for all things murder. Please never let anyone’s opinions get in your way. You honestly have one of the most unique personalities I’ve ever known. I mean, where else would you find koalas and blood-chilling crime in one place? Thank you for being the cutest and most talented. I hope you know that you’re loved, and I love you, and it will always be that way ♡

@meanhly, oh, look, it’s my keyboard smashing partner! I’m glad you decided to panic about On track in my dms instead of my askbox. Thank you for birthing this beautiful friendship! Speaking of which, what friendship level are we at now, Selina? Okay, I’ll stop fooling around. Thank you for never failing to make me laugh, no thanks to your autocorrect for calling me fruit, though. I think one of the reasons I love the Songless Bird so much is, well, you! It was your excitement about the story that pushed me to explore the world more, to write more. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for that. I love you, so much, and I cherish our friendship just as much ♡

@smileylino, our ‘02 line is only complete with you, Rain. Thank you for being the best panic partner (hehe) and the cutest Minho stan. Talking to you is always so much fun, even if we’re just discussing memes or soft scenarios. I don’t know how successfully your Minho detox is going, but I miss your random declarations of love for the one and only. I hope you know that you’re really talented, and I’ll always be here to cheer you on whenever. You deserve only the best this world can offer. I know you’ll do amazing, whatever it is you’ll be doing. I love you! ♡

@lixiefe, if anyone were to see our first interactions, they wouldn’t expect us to become good friends. Yet here we are, and I wouldn’t change that for the world! I love talking to you, even if it’s about the strangest of topics. Thank you for making me love my own work. You make it out to be something special, which it isn’t, but I appreciate that so much. Thank you for handling my self-deprecating statements with hilarious poop references, even though I am still adamantly against them (kidding!). You’re special, I hope you’d know that. I love you so much! ♡

@scriptura-delirus​, we might not interact a lot but whenever we do, it’s always so much fun. I truly admire your work and your way of thinking. Thank you for writing the best fantasy to be found in this fandom, and for all the support you’ve shown my mediocre stories. If this were a follow forever, know that your url would be among the first. I love you! ♡

@jeonginks​, can I consider you a friend? I hope I can. The entirety of my first interactions with you consisted of me embarrassing myself, from that useless blurb to all that panicking. Thank you for not blocking me yet... I am very sure that without SWC, I wouldn’t have ever talked to you. And while I might not panic anymore, you are still someone I genuinely look up to when it comes to writing. I wish you’d know that you’re an inspiration, for me and many writers out there. Also, you can send me as many Liam memes as you want, I’ve become immune to them (phew). I presume this is called affection, but I love you! ♡

@scxrlettwxtches​, writing or not, you’re a dear friend of mine. I’m terrible at expressing things, but I’m glad we started talking. Thank you for listening to all the unnecessary writing things I say. I love your work, even though I don’t say it enough. You might not know but your enthusiasm motivates me to write; all the random questions and spoiler requests. I’m sorry for [redacted] in ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’. I hope I’ve been able to make up for that through the blurbs! All in all, I wish you all the best in everything you do, and I love you! ♡

@f3lixlvr​, you are the first person I have properly spoken to in his hellhole. I remember our first conversations and just how much joy they brought me, even though I was hiding behind an anonymous profile. Thank you for being the most amazing and making late 2019 fun and exciting. I love you! ♡

@wingkkun​, we only began directly interacting recently, but we’ve talked before. Your writing is great, beyond that, even. I’ll raid your masterlist one day, just you wait! You seem like a complete sweetheart, and I hope we can talk more in the future. Thank you for all the lovely tags you had left on my stories, I love you! ♡

@ammuqwer​, you are a friend I didn’t expect to make, but one I wouldn’t want to lose for anything. Talking to you brightens my day, and I can only wish I can offer just as much happiness in yours. You’re amazing, really. If you ever have a hard time, please know that you can always find me. I love you! ♡

@p2q3r4​, I often scroll through your blog and I have to say, you’re crazy talented. Your drawings are stunning! Thank you for all the comments you’ve left on my writings, I appreciate every single one of them. You’re also a complete sweetheart, have I ever told you that? And I love your love for languages, it never was annoying. Never stop being amazing, I love you! ♡

🌷 anon, I might not know who you might be, but you’re a friend I cherish so much, Tulip. I love talking to you, and I say that a lot, but hearing from you is always so lovely. Thank you for all the asks you’ve ever sent, those with tmi to those with Splatoon talk. I hope you know that I’ll always be there for you, whenever, wherever. I love you so much! ♡

Caeliman Minho anon, last but definitely not least. I’m afraid this short letter wouldn’t do you justice, but I hope you’d know that you mean a lot to me. Thank you for all the support you’ve shown my work, all the inspiration you’ve given me, and all the thoughts you’ve generously shared. I love hearing what you have to say, and I love you! Thank you for everything ♡

Second, to all my readers, those who always reblog, those who leave a trail of hearts behind, and even those who just pass by, thank you for giving my writings a chance. I am continuously motivated to write more and write better for you. I’m nowhere near that, but I’m slowly making my way up there. Thank you for being the best audience ♡

Finally, to you reading this, thank you for reaching this far. It has only been a year, and I hope I can continue to contribute to this fandom for much longer than that.

Today, a story was meant to be posted. Due to my poor management skills (yikes!), I will instead be posting the world-information edit for ‘Danse Macabre’. Please look forward to it!

That is all. Thank you for making these 365 days on this blog special, and here’s to many more! I love you all! ♡

[justslowdown]

your sheep are so cute oh my goodness!!!!!! please feel free to use this ask as an opportunity to spout some things you like about your sheep or about keeping sheep or literally what ever you would like to say about sheep. i will appreciate all of it.

I normally feel bad rambling so ty for this! And yes they are The Cutest can you even fathom what it’ll be like when next year’s lambs start arriving I.. wow

Personally I think everyone even somewhat interested should look into owning some if they own/rent more than an acre! I feel they’re a great species to start hobby farming with, because (based on my experience with my unique breeds) all you really need is a small shelter and some pasture or hay. The fencing doesn’t need to be intensive. And many breeds don’t require much medical intervention (some need a ton tho) which is good for a beginner. Dairy goats on the other hand……

So I guess the first step in picking a species and then breed of livestock is to get your priorities organized, talk to people who own different types, read up on everything til you have a broad range of opinions to learn from

I got my first sheep two years ago after doing this, my first large livestock species. I miss the goats a lot, but think I’ll focus primarily in landrace type sheep from now on. So much lower stress and lower maintenance. Bonus: mine never test fences. Some goats make it their life mission.

Sheep (like goats) are a species that has been selectively bred in so many directions that you really gotta know what your goals are with them and what work you’re willing/able to put in, before picking breeds/types. 

Personally, I don’t want to dock tails, to castrate to prevent aggression, to have to assist with many lambings, trim hooves and crutch (shave booties) and run fecals/deworm often, or to have to feed a lot of grain to keep weight on them. Because I’m not doing all of these things very often, friendliness/not being flighty and wary are not traits I care about. So probably no 4H friendly sheep for me. Just not a priority.

 DO want some usable, interestingly colored wool so pure hair or commercial white wool breeds aren’t a good fit. They also have to be hardy in both 95 humid summer and 0 plus windchill winter because fuck Indiana. 

I like cool horns and a wild look. Just do. I also want breeds that will eat anything, not just grass, and do well on unsupplemented (beside mineral) pasture rotation for most of the year. I want a good growth rate in case I end up producing more rams than I can sell and need to start thinking about meat. Again easy lambing is a TOP priority for sure! Some breeds are incredibly fertile but when large twins and triplets are involved there’s much higher risk.

I didn’t know all this when I started looking. But when I found Soay for sale 2 yrs ago, I fell into the rabbithole of landracey, semi-feral sheep that haven’t been super selectively bred by humans. “Wild flock management” is something I’m really interested in, and what all the breeders I have bought from do. So far I’ve gotten Soay, Shetland, a Jacob/Barbado ram, and Jacob ewes. As you can tell I have the same fondness for crossbreeding with my livestock as I do dogs. Love me some genetic diversity.

 If the humans in a breeds’ history catch their sheep to trim hooves and crutch often, then their lines will eventually end up with quick-growing, gnarly hooves and overly wooly maggot-collecting back ends. If they want a ram who will service a flock of 500 they’re going to breed the biggest, most testosterone-fueled ragey hump machines they can, lmao. There’s just no selective pressure for anything besides fertility and high wool or meat production. But if natural selection was a big part of a breed and lines’ history then they’ll end up adapting differently.

Now, if I wanted to train up herding dogs, there’s no way I’d start with the breeds I have. Mine are either confrontational with dogs, or scatter in a dozen directions while leaping five feet in the air, lmao. Whereas some breeds (again ones managed this way in history) get into a suggestible flock hivemind.

So anyways I adore my sheep! They’re calming to watch, beautiful and wild, and keep my pastures down without trampling them. I adore sheep in general but there are breeds I’d never own. And besides the breed you pick, I also think buying (or in my case often trading! love farm folks) from herds that have the same management style you want is important.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #203

I’m not dead, World of Warcraft just devoured my life again.

Have you ever been inside of an abandoned building? Yes; a shack first, but we picked up the courage to just barely set foot into this small building absolutely littered with newspapers and such. Almost went into the main house, but my sister, friend, and I were too intimidated by the idea. I didn't want to imagine what could be in there; already anxious by that age, I worried about feral animals or homeless being in there. Have you ever actually believed in monsters? (Like as a kid) Yes, I think. Do you have any fascination with the macabre? Examples? Oh boy, do you know me? I find most gore cool, I love bone art/vulture culture sort of stuff, I find death and decay fascinating, then there's the roadkill photography I do (done in only great respect/to show the horror of what we can cause), dark and especially gory artwork... I could go on for a while. Do you actually think skeletons are scary? I LOVE skeletons, add that to the above list. I was always excited in school if our science class had a replica in it. What monster movie is your favorite? This is broad... You mean like, actual monsters? Not like Freddy Krueger, per se, and focused on them? Hell I dunno, maybe Monsters Inc., lol. Is Hocus Pocus really a good movie, or a bit overrated? We cannot associate if you so much as dislike Hocus Pocus. What witch-themed movie/show is your favorite, anyhow? See above. Do you like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Hell yeah. Ha, pretty funny though: I'm not obsessed with the movie or anything, yet people give me sooooooo much Jack Skellington stuff for my birthday and/or Christmas. I do love Jack, totally, but you'd assume I was more in love with the character than I actually am. Do you count it as a Halloween movie and a Christmas movie? Halloween, for me. Do you like Jack or Sally better? Jack. What other Tim Burton works do you enjoy, if any? Corpse Bride and Alice in Wonderland are my absolute favorites, then there's Frankenweenie, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach (literally my lil sis's and my childhoods), and probably more. I just love him. Are there any ‘dark’ or ‘spooky’ films you recommend? Absolutely the original Blair Witch Project. Spoiler, you never see the "witch," and that just made it so much spookier, particularly when there's a scene that seems to have a high chance of her showing up on the camera. It's very convincing in selling it as "based on a true story;" the characters act realistic in the situations they're in and are very dedicated to acting well. It's my personal definition of a "good" horror movie. If anything, shit, watch it for the ending. Creepiest goddamn thing. Just for fun – what would your personal hell look like? Yeesh, let's not visualize that... On Supernatural, do you like the angels or demons better? I am way, WAY behind, but from very faint memories, I believe the demons. Have you ever purchased anything from an occult or New Age shop? What? No. Do you know any Pagans/Wiccans? I believe one of my old friends is Wiccan? Do you know any Satanists? I don't believe so. Would you ever keep a tarantula as a pet? Nah. Are there any urban legends in your area? What are they? Looked it up and apparently NC does have some, but idk about *my* area. Do you find dead trees beautiful? Some, like really big ones. Who was the last person you sat next to? Mom. Are you embarrassed to let others see you without makeup? No. Have you ever had a nickname at your church? If so, what? Don't believe so, when I grew up going to church. What was the last stuffed animal you bought? Not sure. Maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? Maple. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? Naomi, easily. I used to want to name my hypothetical daughter that. Which biblical guys name do you prefer: Seth, Jedidiah, Ezra, or Buz? Seth. Who is the hardest working person you know? MY. MOTHER. She works her fucking ASS off; I'd like to see most people handle even a single day in her life. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? A few: "No Rest For The Wicked," "Whatever," "Mama," "Voodoo," "Voodoo Too," "Hollow," "Time Bomb," "The Enemy," and... that may be it? What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Meeting Sara. How deeply do you care for your education? Is it something you take seriously? I don't really know how to answer this. Like... I care, but I don't care enough to be competitive about it or obsess over it. I target for just being "enough." Would you prefer to go to a beach or to a park for a day, and why? What would you do? Park. The beach is too hot, windy, and I hate the feel of sand. Idk what I'd do at the park considering there are various kinds... What are five things you own in your favorite color? Tank top, iPod, uh... I'm blanking. Is your favorite clothing store close to your house or do you have to travel far? The nearest one is like an hour away. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ ‘hehe’ or something else? The former. Do you have any unusual skills? No. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Do you like to look at other peoples’ houses? Sure, when riding by them. What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received? Good question. Maybe my toes are cute? (They're fucking tiny.) Would you say you’re more witty or childish about jokes? Witty, I guess. What do you think about video games? One of the greatest technological achievements. Video games brought forth a new form of entertainment to enjoy, one that can hold someone's focus for hours and stay fun. They can also tell fantastic stories, just like reading a book or watching TV, and the more and more realistic in vision games are becoming, it just becomes easier with every game to feel more immersed in the universe. What would you, or do you, study at college? I'm going for zoology. Have you ever had, or wanted, a pet ferret? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. They are so damn cute; when Sara was here and we were in PetSmart for something, I actually started tearing up and squealing because of how GODDAMN PRECIOUS THEY WERE, like they all came up to the glass pawing at us, and watching them play was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. The only thing holding me back from getting one is the fact I know they are veeery messy and require a lot of care. Is there anything you find undeserving of the hype it received? Eh, don't feel like thinking about this. In other words, idk and idc. Do you think it’s better to label yourself than be labelled? Who cares, honestly. Don't restrain yourself with a label, and what others see in you and you following along with it solely because of that is naive. What’s something you do a lot? Over-evaluate anything and everything, because my OCD has been an absolute beast for the longest time. Are you currently on any other websites? Twitch and deviantART are open. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? YES. I have done this since like... late middle school or earlier when the hair to the right of my part covered my eye. My mom points it out all the time, and no matter how many times I've tried to unlearn it, I can't do it. My head physically feels weird if I straighten it. When was the last time you laughed at someone? Some time earlier when I was watching Mark play GTA. Do you have any projects on the go right now? I started a massive YouTubers video with "High Hopes" over a month ago, and now I haven't touched it since the day I started lmao. Do you, or did you, really look forward to when you can finally move away? Eh... yes and no. I really question my ability to be that independent. What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever seen? Who knows. What’s your favorite name ever? Alessandra. Are you a hat person? No. Have you ever forgotten how to do something simple? Ha, yeah. Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? Possibly an old family friend; he had this thing for being REALLY flirtatious with my older sister, and then me sometimes as I got older. We were never alone with him or anything, I mean he did it right in front of our mother and dad (he fucking loathed him because of it, probably still does), so we think he was joking? Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Yes. Have you ever had to run from the cops? No. Do you know anyone who is constantly humming? No? Are you afraid of any specific animals? I mean the usual insects and spiders, then there's the few more unusual ones such as SLUGS, MAGGOTS, larvae in general really, whale sharks, worms... probably others that aren't coming to me. Did anything comical happen to you today? No. Are you any good at fussball? Not especially. Who do you usually dream about? Jason is most often in the ones I actually remember. Yay. It made sense when I wasn't even beginning to heal, but now that I am and I STILL have them despite having fully and entirely moved on, I finally just asked my mother if it was normal, which apparently it is extremely common with even "recovered" PTSD victims. Shoulda asked/looked it up way sooner... Do you visit your dentist as often as you should? Yeah, thanks to Mom. She always ensures I stay updated with medical exams/appointments. I'm lucky as hell to have her here to keep my life straight. Do you still have a teddy bear? Maybe in the bags in the attic? Did you get any Girl Scout cookies this year? No. They don't come here. What’s your favorite fairytale? Bitch Shrek don't even @ me it's a fucking fairytale. Do you apologize when you know you should? Usually. In most cases, I feel overwhelming guilt otherwise. Do apologies really make anything better? Sometimes, to a degree. Can other people tell when you’re high? I've never been high. Do you own a birdcage? No. Have you ever planted anything? Yeah. Have you ever been blackmailed into doing anything? No. What eyeshadow color looks best on you? I only ever wear black. Can you tolerate small children? jfc no. In almost any situation. Even my niece and nephew, I can't be around them but for so long without getting burnt out or aggravated. What’s the stupidest behavior humans partake in? Holy sweet mother of The Lord God Almighty- Have you ever seriously considered suicide? Yeah. Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I like... immediately hit a curb lmao, and I STILL can't turn past them without the risk of running over it. It's one of the things that's holding me back from getting my license yet. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? UM, The Lion King??????? Hurry the FUCK up July. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? I've never even used a check... How many speeding tickets have you been given? None. Not that I drive a lot. First kiss: quick, sloppy, and forgettable or passionate and memorable? It was fucking adorable and definitely memorable. I don't care how I feel about him now, that's a little event I'll always remember and cherish. Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White, or Larry the Cable Guy? OH GOD what was that stand-up show with just them? I LOVED that back as a teen. I don't know who I liked most, but probably Jeff or Bill. I do know Ron was my least favorite, but he wasn't bad. How many bills do you pay online? I'm a 23-year-old "adult" who doesn't have bills. What’s the highest score you ever bowled? Hell if I remember. Nothing impressive. What’s your definition of a good, full breakfast? The "perfect" picture is like pancakes, scrambled cheesy eggs, and bacon. Whats your favorite flavor of jam? Of what I've tried, I only like grape. Are you a fast runner? I can't even TELL you the last time this bitch ran. At school was is/was the main reason you get/got in trouble? It was never severe trouble, just a quick word, but Jason because we'd always hug and usually just exchange a peck in-between going to classes; both were no-nos in our shit school, and the hall monitors or whatever would tell us not to if they saw, buuut we didn't listen. Hell, I think maybe hand-holding was against the rules too, which I know we didn't abide by if that was present. Do you make your views heard or do you hide in the background? It depends. I'd say heard more often, maybe? Do you have many friends from foreign countries? No. Can you open your mouth very wide? No. You know those things at the dentist where you have to bite down straight onto them for an impression of your molars? If the dentist was considerate enough, I'd use the one for older children instead of adult because I canNOT fully bite down on the normal ones without it being incredibly painful and I gag like mad to the point I inevitably tear up. What was the reason for your last x-ray? My knees were being checked with all the horrible pain I'd been dealing with from them. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not for the sake of being rebellious, no. I only had such streaks (and still do) when I saw/see them appropriate to the situation. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. What is the most common name where you live? I dunno. Elizabeth, maybe? Actually just looked it up for the hell of it and what I found first says William (which I can absolutely believe) and Ava (which I question?). When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Jump, gasp, and either dash or stare at whatever the source is like a deer in headlights. Does it bother you to be around people who are smoking? Yes. How much time do you spend on the phone a day? Not long at all. I check Instagram usually at least once, and I don't follow a lot at all. Sometimes I check Facebook on my phone, but I usually do on my laptop now. That doesn't take very long, either. Your favorite song lyrics right now: "What I do know is come Judgment Day, I followed love; can you say the same?" from "Natural Born Sinner" by In This Moment. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? Ever heard "Runaway Love" by Ludacris & Mary J. Blige? Bitch you bet it makes me wanna cry. Name three books that have actually made you cry [really cry not a few tears]: I don't think I've ever gone beyond just a few tears, really. The Notebook probably was the hardest on me, though. Or Old Yeller. Idr. Is it easy to annoy you? Maybe. Do you watch musicals? If so, which is your favorite? If not, why not? No, because they make me cringe into a new dimension. Do you wear short shorts & tanktops in the summer? You will never see me in shorts, and I wear tank tops like... always. Always to bed, at least. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? Having a baby period does. No fucking thanks. Do you remember who your best friend was in fourth grade? Quiata. Maybe still Brianna, idr. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. Is there anywhere in your house that you’re scared to be alone in? No. Any embarrassing/childish shows you secretly still enjoy watching? No. I don't watch TV period, but what I do like, BELIEVE THIS SHIT OR NOT, I'm not embarrassed. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I think the longest I was ever supposed to stay somewhere was three months, but that didn't actually happen. The longest I've actually been in a hospital was two weeks, give or take. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I'm not straight so obviously not. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: An iguana, a snake, and a rat. In the same general area lmao. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? A pixie cut. The kind with the shaved sides. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? Uhhh my snake's cage? Do you diet and exercise regularly? I do a 16-hour fast daily. What’s something that you think is really cute? Even though I don't want kids, I can't see men being really vibrant and cute with babies or toddlers without just alksdfjioawer Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? Hm. I feel like ultimately, money would be most beneficial in the majority of cases? Can grills be sexy on a guy? They are incredibly unattractive on anyone. Are braces cute? Not particularly, but they're not like, unattractive. Unlike grills, they serve an actual purpose and aren't as obnoxious. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. What brings out the worst in you? Being extremely stressed. I'm seriously snappy and irritable. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation? Canada, probably. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? I don't think about it because I don't have a choice if I want to see. Do you ever wear hats indoors? I don't wear them period. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? If so, did you get any fun extra stuff because you pledged a higher amount? No. What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? I don't have one. What’s something you can do without looking/with your eyes closed? Type. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? If so, what is the combination and what does it mean? No. What was the last thing you swore at? I don't know. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? Ugh no. Let's not remind myself of dark times or more specifically cringy ones. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I don't find any really funny. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Ummm "fancy" clothing brands, to name one of the top contenders. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? If so, what did you do with it? Maybe a cat? I don't think so, though. Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? My recovery. What is something you have a lot of experience in? I guess photography? What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I don't feel like going to check. Do you prefer things (movies, books, etc) that scare you or make you laugh? Entertainment media rarely actually scares me, but I prefer "scary" stuff. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? Well, I had to get braces, so I would assume not? Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? I avoid OTCs when I can; I'm on enough prescribed stuff. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Sour. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Are fireworks illegal to buy where you live? The big ones, yes. People still go to Myrtle Beach on the SC side to buy them tho. Can you talk and work at the same time? No. Do you care more about yourself or more about others? This really depends on what the situation is... and my state of mind at the time. But I think usually myself? It used to be others, but I learned how unhealthy that can be. Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? I get bored excruciatingly easily. How often do you re-watch/re-read things or are you more ‘once only’? I'm typically an "only once" person. What color ink do you prefer writing in? Black? Have you inherited any garments from your parents or grandparents? I don't think so. When was the last time you visited the doctor? Why did you go? Around a week ago to get my vitamin D re-checked. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? My VR coach. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? I will be seeing the live action TLK as fast as physically possible. What was the title of the last song you listened to? "God Hates Your Outfit" lmao. ^Who performs it? Jeffree Star. Can you do a backflip? No. Is your car newer than a 2004? I don't have my own car. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. How would you feel if you knew you were adopted? If I grew up knowing, I wouldn't feel much of anything new besides the fact I'd be grateful as hell someone chose me. If I just suddenly found out, I'd be inexplicably shocked and furious I was never told. Do you have freckles? No. Do you have dimples? Very clearly on my left cheek, and I have a super shallow one on the right that used to be more apparent. And I have back dimples. When was the last time you went fishing? When Sara was here in June last year. Do you know anyone with a pet that has your name? No. Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? Most likely not. What was the last injury you received? Probably something from Roman playing. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. Do you regret it? No. Do you ever get in weird moods and listen to music you normally hate? Very rarely I listen to pop from when I was a kid. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Well, we "dated" for less than a day, but idk. I'd guess he's 27-ish now? Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? No. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? An anatomical heart, I think? Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Not really for kids? We took them in middle school, and they weren't like, super kiddy. How many years were you homeschooled? I never was. What color is the tree outside your window? Uhhh probably green? I don't wanna get up and look. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. Which pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter. What is this month’s calendar picture? Don't have a calendar. Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? N/A Who has the best personality on YouTube? Shane Dawson's is probably the most universally likable, I think. Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I don't have one anymore. What does your bike look like? N/A Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I babysat only once and hated it. Not the kid, just the duty. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Does one side of your family live in another state? Both sides do. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Severely, nothing. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No, thankfully. Do you spill food on yourself while you eat? Not often. What is a topic you like to answer questions on the most? Meerkats or Mark. Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I have no clue. Which Clue (or Cluedo) character is your favorite? I was always Miss Scarlet because even as a kid I knew she was hot stuff. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favorites. I don't really watch movies period. But a few I like are The Outsiders, Old Yeller, Johnny Got His Gun, A Raisin In The Sun, Steel Magnolias... lots of others, really. Just not many are coming to mind immediately. Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? Idk. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? The only ex who I'm aware even loved me in the first place is Jason, and I probably wouldn't say anything. Got a very strong feeling my PTSD would literally erupt like goddamn Saint Helen and I'd leave the situation in the blink of an eye. I don't love him anymore, and I don't even know if I'd believe him telling me that now, but I know damn well it would fuck with me. Would you ever work at a movie theater? It sure as hell wouldn't be my first pick. At least here, they're grossly underpaid and overworked. Do you have a phone charger in your car? If you have a specific type of cord. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my mom. Dad's like... 20-ish minutes away, if that? Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? Mom is always with me. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Never tried, never want to. I can just about guarantee I would positively loathe it. Sweet and savory don't mix with me. Do you like to hold hands? With my s/o and I'm comfortable with them, yeah. What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? However old I was in the 7th grade. Last thing you cooked? Toaster strudels in the toaster oven. Movie you want to see? I wanna see the newest HTTYD soooo badly, but I doubt I'll get the chance while it's in theaters. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. The others are dead. Can you snap your fingers? Poorly with my right hand. Can you wink? Only with my right eye. How many keys do you carry with you? One. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, she's my mom and we're very close. Do you own any jerseys? No. Who knows your biggest secrets? Sara. Have you ever ran from your own parents? No. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Do you crack your knuckles? I physically can't, and besides, the sound is disgusting to me. Who IMed you on Facebook last? Girt. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? I'm long out of high school, and I didn't. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? I don't wear shorts, tight shirts, dresses, skirts, crop tops, I wouldn't dare touch a romper, I highly doubt I'd wear yellow... just to name the ones that came to me immediately. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? YO Avril Lavigne was my emo model okay. She's still a queen. The last time you had a conflict with someone else, did you confront them about it or keep it to yourself? Do you think it would have been better or worse to do the opposite? Uhhh... I don't remember who this was. When you finally make a decision to do something you have been contemplating for a while, do you become highly anxious and motivated to do it right away? Yup. When you were a kid did you make up lies about your life to make yourself seem more interesting? Alternatively, did you know kids who told these stories and did you believe them? Bitch I made up that a talking wolf came to me and gave me animal powers and the rule was I could only tell three people. I was a fucking weird kid. I know others who have made things up, too. Can you think of a moment from your childhood that was totally “on brand” for you, or consistent with your adult personality? I'm sure there's something, but nothing's coming to me rn. Have you ever warned someone else about something, whether it was about a person in their life or an oncoming weather event? Yup, in numerous scenarios. So, is it "gif" with a hard G or soft G? I say both, but "jiff" more frequently. Is there a book or movie that you thought was about something completely different from what it actually ended up being about? What did you think it would be? Maybe... Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? I have no clue.

[kaldheimknight]

So @shenzi-hemlock tagged me in 3 prompts so I’m gonna post them all together

Part 1

Age: 26

Birthplace: New Jersey

Current time: 10pm 

Drink You Last Had: Guinness

Easiest Person to Talk To: 

Favorite Song: I don’t know if I could pick just one, but some of my favorites are “Down there by the Train”, “Freezing Moon”, “Bodhisattva of Cathedral”, “Man in black”

Grossest Memory: Any memory involving maggots. Horror Yes or No: Horror YES!

Jealous of People: I’m guilty of being envious of other people.

Kissed someone: You can find that information in a memo titled “None of your business”

Lollipops or popsicles: popsicles

Middle Name: My father’s first name

Number of Siblings: 3

One Wish: All debts are paid off. Not just mine, everyone’s.

Person You Called Last: My grandparents

Question You Are Always Asked: “How old are you?”

Reason to Smile: I might be starting a new career soon.

Song You Sang Last: Bad Moon Rising

Time You Woke Up: 5 am

Underwear Color: Black. What does this question mean?

Vacation Destination: Montana

Worst Habit: I have many bad habits. Hard to say what the worst one is.

X-Rays: I don’t think so

Your Favorite Food: New York Pizza

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Part 2

1. What animal would be the cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?

Moose. They look goofy enough as is if they weren’t so massive. Imagine them housecat-sized.

2. What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?

I don’t think any of the recipes I eat are that weird.

3. What’s something that will always be in fashion, no matter how much time passes?

Aviator sunglasses

4. In the past people were buried with the items they would need in the afterlife, what would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife?

Trench tool

5. What food is delicious but a pain to eat?

I guess anything that tends to fall into your lap before you get it into your mouth.

6. What “old person” things do you do?

Half the things I do make me feel old

7. What is the most amazing stop motion video you’ve seen?

The classic Ray Harryhausen films are still the best. King Kong is a marvel of cinema.

8. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve broken? 

A laptop

9. When was the last time you got to tell someone “I told you so.”?

About every other day. Did it this morning.

10. What riddles do you know?

A house has four walls all facing south. A bear walks by the house. What color is the bear?

11. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

Selkie

Part 3

1. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

Yes.

2. Best compliment you have received?

Being told I’m the most reliable person someone has met.

3. What is your perfect pizza?

Cheese pizza made in New Jersey

4. Do you feel that children should be sheltered form unhappiness?

No. Keep it appropriate and comfort them through it but you need to acknowledge and talk about life’s hardships with your kids.

5. Have you ever eaten a crayon or glue?

No. I thought that only happened in cartoons.

6. What cheers you up?

Coffee, campfires, and dogs.

7. Do you enjoy reading and if so what is your favorite book?

Very much so. To pick a favorite would be almost impossible.

8. Do you have anyone you go to for advice? If so, are they in person or online?

A couple people. @Queentiffy has given me some of the best advice when I needed it.

9. Which do you use more often, a dictionary or a thesaurus?

Thesaurus

10. Are you still learning who you are?

Yes. I think people never stop learning. To quote Dune: "Genesis does not stop, your god continues creating you."

11. What dead person would you least want to be haunted by?

I’m not sure why but HP Lovecraft came to mind.

[julzthebrave]

Answer all the gay ask game questions? Pretty please x

1. describe your idea of a perfect dateHorseriding through the countryside with a wonderful picnic, local produce, simple food, nice wine (sweet of course) cloudwatching, Just enjoying the sunshine and each other's company 2. whats your “type”I don't particularly have a type, but I value honesty, the ability to make me laugh, I'm a bit obsessed with eyes I suppose so pretty eyes, fun, likes to hold hands. Oh! And loves food ❤️ and animals Idk if that's a type really though3. do you want kids?Yep! I'm not in a hurry necessarily but eventually I would like kids 4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?I have no clue really :/ I would like to be pregnant if possible.5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been onI've never been on a date so :( if anyone wants to volunteer though feel free 6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)If I've never been on a date what makes you think I've had sex? 7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?Both! 8. opinion on nap dates?I'm not exactly sure what that is but if it's getting together to nap together sounds cute! I don't nap well really though so i can just cuddle you while you nap? 9. opinion on brown eyes?All eyes are beautiful 10. dog gay or cat gay?Both! All the animals gay!11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?Absolutely! At different times in my life I've wanted to have both! (Also I've cleaned hippo poo and fed maggots to meerkats so I'm not super easily grossed out by animals) 12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someoneAgain, never been in this situation xD but I suppose turn offs would be if the person is mean to other people. I'm generally pretty accepting of people I think. 13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?Idk really, I remember keeping a list of bisexual female celebrities though, I remember thinking lots of female celebrities were bisexual and it seemed a bit suspicious to me. I never had heaps of exposure to LGBT things until I kissed my best friend really :P14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger selfDon't care about what other people say so dang much. Not everyone has to like you, it's ok if people say or do mean things but you have great people by your side so don't pay attention to bullies so much. 15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders? N/A 16. who is an ex you regret? N/A (or don't wanna talk about it) 17. night club gay or cafe gay?Cafe :)18. who is one person you would “go straight” forNo one really what type of question is this I mean have you seen Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman why would I ever be straight?! 19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?Probably movie :)20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)Clexa was life, gotta put rilaya in there too, sanvers, emaya. They're the top ones :) Oh! And me and Wonder Woman 21. favourite gay youtuberBrian and Chrissy, Cammie Scott, Stevie, Connor Franta22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?Not unknowingly, no23. have you ever been in love? Yep24. have you ever been heartbroken?Yep25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someoneWell aesthetic attraction is one thing but we gotta be able to talk. I won't truly know how much I like someone until I've talked to them for a bit, gotten to know about them and such 26. favourite lgb musician/bandHalsey, Lauren Jauregi (so fifth harmony), Hayley Kiyoko27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysBe safe but be proud. Research and respect what LGBT people of the past have been through to get us to where we are today. Open your heart to love, share your love with people. Don't care what anyone thinks28. are you out? if so how did you come outWell kinda? When I was younger I kissed my best friend and wrote about it in my diary, coming to the conclusion that I was bisexual. And my mum read my diary. After that I went through a rough patch with bullies and then the whole year level found out through gossip. That was grade 6/year 7. And So anytime after that I wanted to sit people down and officially come out to them, even up until year 12, they would say "I know" -.- My mum I think may have dismissed it a bit for grief (my dad had just passed away) and experimentation but a little bit later we were shopping and she saw a tshirt with a naked girl on it and said " you would like this". We don't talk about it heaps but when we talk about marriage she is conscious of saying partner and I had a kind of conversation while we were watching tv about how these parents were so awful towards their gay son and I said I'm lucky I don't have to deal with that and she agreed. Not out to the rest of my family though (and coming from an Italian and Greek family it's a big one) but I don't think it's necessary for them to know until I have like a serious girlfriend.29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have Writing in the notes section of a phone and typing "I like girls" and handing the phone over to the other person and them saying "I know, so and so told me" 30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityYour safety is of utmost importance, I can't stress that enough.If you need an outlet look online, seriously tumblr is my gay safe haven and allows me to express my full gayness without anyone knowing. Wait until you know you are safe to come out, or come out to someone who you know will be accepting and keep it a secret. Teachers can be good for this if you're in school but also a friend or even a pet :) This took forever but I hope you enjoy :)

[mistertf2xreaderfluffballcake]

~A fun memory you did together with the mercs~ (separate). Before the mercs or you confess their love there is still a long way. In those time periods they did a lot of fun things together I will explain one of the most fun things you both did together. :) (idk but suddenly I felt wise writing this lol) Anyway hope you enjoy it.

Scout

The most fun memory together that you guys did is making a custom cap for each other :)) You guys had so much fun! You guys bought a plain base cap and then made it unique by adding stuff to it to later give each other. Engineer and Heavy helped put custom designs on it yey. While working on each other's caps, both of you remember how close you two are...It was nice. You both had 3 days to finish designing and making each other caps and then gifted them to each other on the last day :))). Scout loves the cap you designed for him, he never wears it in battle, no no, (does not want to get dirty) he only wears it when you are around. To let them know how special how both the cap and you are!

Soldier

The most fun memory is well... this is a hard one. Everything he does with you is awesome. But the MOST fun is...medal. Yep! You were thinking about giving Soldier a medal, a REAL medal. He is always such a sweetheart around you! So you saved up some money to make a custom medal. It was gold (not real tho but still it is shiny) You made a big medal on the back that said ''The most sweetest and bravest Soldier in America''. When you gave it to him...He was so OVERJOYED! He was almost teared up why is s/o so god damn nice and sweet to him. THANK YOU VERY MUCH MAGGOT!!! IT IS AN HONOR TO RECEIVE SUCH RAVISHING THING! and gave you a big hug (he said that so loud that I think the opposite base could even hear him) :)). He was flexing and showing off how lovely s/o is. If he even heard one word about something bad about you...let's just say they are gone now :)) Even to this day that medal is one of his most treasured items in this world. He LOVES it! Thank you s/o!

Pryo (Yes ladies and gentlemen, this lovely ball of sunshine is here!)

When you two painted/decorated a bubble gun. The team was recently mad at Pyro for burning down the base the 3rd time this week, they had enough and forbade them from using their weapon in the base :(( You were sad seeing Pryo being a sack of sadness in the corner of their room. So you decided to save up money to give them a bubble gun (search it up!). Oh but not any kind of simple and basic one it was going to be special!! You bought a plain white bubble gun, then you bought a bunch of waterproof paint, stickers, etc to decorate. (Engineer was super supportive of this idea so he even made the bubble gun have a secret feature) So, after 1 week you were prepared to bring happiness to Pyro! When you gave it to Pyro and said they could decorate it, Pryo was so happy!! For that day you two made the most awesome and cutest custom bubble gun ever! >:)). You two even wrote your names on it! Not only can they have a SAFE way to have fun, but it also means more fun times with their crush!!!

Engineer

When you both made an awesome creation together! (even if Engineer did half of the work) You two rarely make something together. The main reason is it is dangerous. But this time both of you were playing it safe. You two made a robot that is literally a walking refrigerator to store beer! AND guess what it! is also very cute. This took about a month to make but you bet it was worth it!! Engineer of course did the machine need parts and you helped him with it too! You mainly helped design it and make it both useful and cute. Once you guys finished and worked successfully, the joy on both of your faces was priceless. You both did a little happy dance 💃 It was so cute. Whenever he sees the robot he can't stop and imagine that bright smile on your face over and over again. (god he is in love)

Heavy

When you baked a cake for him. Heavy was feeling stressed due to having a whole week of losing during battle, and generally respawning a lot, getting absolutely dunked on by the other Scout... It was awful!! He just wanted to spend time with those he cherish but at the same time, he needs to train to become a better heavy! He wants to feel important to the team. It was another day of losing he was tried, but he did not feel mad just tired. But out of the blue, you appeared. His sunshine. You then told him to close his eye, he did as he was told, and theeeeennnnn. Boom! A lovely fresh-baked cake. It was so lovely, from the color, the smell, everything was perfect. He felt a warm fuzzy feeling in him burn. Why is s/o always so nice. You recently noticed his stress and decided to bake a cake! (it took several attempts but we ain't talking about that) A cake just for him! Extra special heavy cake!! You two enjoyed the cake (Scout tried to take a piece but heavy beat the crap out of him! It was his and crushes cake, not yours!! :< ) Heavy was full of happiness and energy! The next day heavy won the battle! Another cake time!!! This time everybody in the base was allowed to enjoy :) (Scout here is a piece for you sorry for yesterday)

Demoman

When you made him a handmade beanie. Oh lord, how happy he was. He was just so happy! :)) He is glad that he meet you! You are such a good friend (It is a crush but look he does not want to admit it) He had happy tears! He picked you up and gave you a hug and even spun you around. Hearing you giggle was so nice. He wore that thing everywhere, don't even get me started when he doesn't wear it. If people ask he will brag about it. Oh this? It is from a lovely person called s/o! Guess what lad!! 't is even homemade!!! They actually made it with their hand!! :)) They are so sweet...What! I ain't blushing I am probably just drunk or sweating....probably...

Sniper

When you two went on a small nature adventure :)) You two decided to go into the woods or something to have fun. Let me tell you it was sooo much FUN! Sniper was pro, from the campfire, nature facts, everything. You guys didn't camp tho (you two have to go back to base) Everything was beautiful, the sound, the wind, the view. It was perfect just as beautiful as your smile. You two felt like kids again, running around, giggling, playing with sticks, and more. You guys looked at the horizon the sun was setting. The sunset was beautiful, you looked at sniper who was next to you and flashed a gentle smile. The view was just...hah it's hard to describe... your gentle smile combined with the vibrant colors in the sky was wonderful. He just happened to have a camera with him and took a photo of that moment he will forever cherish such a lovely photo. *Snap* Hey Sniper! Did you just take a photo of me? Yeah. Sorry, the scene was too beautiful I just had too. *whispers* You look lovely :))

Medic

The most fun memory was when you two went to a quiet and nice cafe. You two decided to go to a nice cafe near the base. To be pacific it was a greenhouse cafe. Now, how wonderful is that. The cafe was always empty due to being located in a weird area that is kinda far from popular areas. So you two had the whole cafe to yourselves. You two can't stop thinking this was a date but of course, both of you brushed it off saying it was an ''friend'' thing (Is it tho? lol) Anyway you dressed in your favorite outfit, it was both stylish and cute/badass :)) You two met up at the cafe. Medic came early since he was so nervous!! Once he saw you...god damn...you look absolutely lovely. His heart was beating so fast (same with you) He compliment your look! (that is bang in your heart bang bang!! critical hit) You two had a wonderful time at the cafe since Medic knew quite a lot about plants he made an interesting discussion about it. But after all, you two had to go back to base :( but it is okay. You two are planning to do this again soon! :)) Oh! Look at the time s/o. Sadly we will have to go back now... Umm...Just a question but would you like to do this again? :)) (Of course, you said yes)

Spy (warning! This is cheesy and soft as fuck)

The most fun and wonderful moment were.....dancing!! God this man knows how to make dancing a whole new level of romance. You guys were chilling on the rooftop. The sun was setting. There was soft music on the radio. AND guess what, Spy finally got the balls to ask you for a dance. It was perfect. The view, the temperature, the music. So he (nervously) asked you for a dance, and you happily accepted. There was soft music playing (if you are wondering what kind? Search up Merry go around of life, that song inspired me to write this. this song is beautiful!) The moment was...beautiful! Slow dancing to the dance while the sun is setting, the wind blowing... When the song finished he did a little magic trick and gave you a flower. You were always so nice to him, actually caring for him, understanding him. You were a loyal and wonderful person! He is glad that he met you. You were his light in his life. But, there is still a long way to go before he can trust you fully and confess his love. (He is a bit nervous considering how last time went...but he is actually generally in love with you, it just takes time for him to trust you)

Damn...I did it again. Wrote another cheesy story. I have so many ideas to write. This is so much fun!! I enjoy thinking of these ideas! I hope you enjoy it! Don`t worry I am coming up with more! I just feel a bit nervous posting these, considering this is my first time doing such things...hope I can get more confident when posting these in the future! :))

[paranoid-fighter]

Roadhog does some thinking | Junkrat has some cake

A present for @marcus-and-carter! 

Author’s Notes: 1) So this is what happens when you fall in love with the characters you’re writing: you don’t STOP writing. 2) This is mostly all headcanon - just warning you now.  3) My only real criteria for this was “I wanna read the cutest cute.” I hope I delivered. 4) I sincerely hope you enjoy this, Marcus! 5) There’ll be a part 2 to this soonish...

Wordcount: 5940-ish Copyright: Overwatch is property of Blizzard. No copyright infringement is intended; this is a work of fanfiction.

He had worked with the crazed little gremlin for three years now. Three long years of explosions, exploits and experiences the likes of which he never thought he'd have.

Roadhog glanced over at the aforementioned little gremlin, listening to Junkrat quietly snoring in the passenger seat. He smiled behind his mask as he drove through the dusty lands. Even though Junkrat was a bundle of endless chaotic energy, he would almost always fall asleep during long car rides. Well, he fell asleep on the car rides that weren't high speed chases or escapes - he was wide awake for those, shrieking his fool head off as he threw bomb after grenade after spike trap at their foes. On the drives to and from buying supplies, however, he was almost always asleep. Roadhog refused to wake him; he’d tell himself that Junkrat needed the sleep – which he truly did – but he knew that he had a more selfish motive for letting Junkrat rest.

It was in these quiet times that Roadhog was able to sit and think.

 Three long years had been spent in Junkrat's company. Initially, he had worked for him, but that only lasted for a year or so. After that, he had begun to work with him, helping carry out the plans that only Junkrat could think of. It did not take long for the pair to become a formidable duo that had quickly garnered international infamy. Now, though--

Junkrat mumbled as he shifted in the worn seat.

--Roadhog had come to love him.

  He glanced to the man next to him and rolled his eyes as Junkrat’s face pressed against the window. If someone had told him three years ago that he'd be sleeping with the deranged arsonist, he would've been more inclined to introduce his fist into their face than he would be to listen to them. Roadhog glanced to his side as Junkrat murmured, his gaze softening as the young man shifted in his sleep. It was funny how time had changed his mind, he thought as Junkrat’s head slumped against his arm and slid further down. He carefully moved his arm when Junkrat came to lie across the bench seat, his head resting on Roadhog's thigh. With a heavy hand on Junkrat's side, Roadhog smiled as he drove back to their safe house.

  Three years, he had worked with Junkrat. The first few months were the tensest of them all, he recalled; the stiffness between them had been more troublesome than any of the heists they had carried out. It didn't help that he had first found Junkrat lying mostly dead on the side of the road - Junkrat hadn't exactly been in the mood for exchanging pleasantries at that point, nor did he seem keen on polite conversation after the unwanted removal of his arm and leg only days after they met.

He remembered picking up the heavily injured man and tossing him onto his motorcycle, saying nothing as he sped through the arid landscape. He had ignored most of the pained cries from his new passenger but had been unable to ignore the noxious scent of rotting flesh. It pierced through the filters on his mask and made him gag with every inhalation.

It took days for Roadhog to arrive back at the ramshackle hut he had built for himself. He had done what he could to keep the stranger alive during the trip, even if the stranger didn't believe that he was helping. Roadhog had forced the young man to leave the maggots on his arm and leg alone, knowing that they were one of the few things that were preventing a worsening infection. After all, they ate away the dying flesh - well, they did, so long as Junkrat didn’t kill them.

By the time they had arrived at the hut, Junkrat was delirious from the pain. He didn't complain as he found himself carried inside the hut and placed down on the bed, nor did he complain as he felt the tall man's mask coming to rest over his face. Junkrat did protest, however, when he saw a large, wicked blade in the stranger's hand. "w-What're ya' doin?!" "Saving you." He grasped Junkrat's arm. "Yer rottin' and yer dyin' from it." Junkrat's already rapid breathing grew even shallower. "Don't--please! Don't!" "Y'wanna die?" Roadhog growled as his grip tightened, "'cause y'probably only got a few days left at this rate." "If ya chop of me limbs, I'm still dead; I can't run on a stump! I'll get caught and--" "Y'said y'd hire me to protect you. Promised me half the loot. Can't get loot from you if y’r dead." Roadhog's dour face grew darker. "And y'r gonna die at this rate." "But--" "I'm yer bodyguard," he grumped, "I'll keep y'safe."

  Junkrat found himself growing faint as he sank deeper into the worn cot; he didn't want to lose his arm and his leg. He needed those - for fuck's sake, his arm and his leg had been with him for his entire life! He liked them! All but hyperventilating now, Junkrat stared down at his arm as a maggot wriggled its way across his rotting palm. He couldn't move his fingers, nor could he move his knee or toes. Even if he kept the limbs, he was still crippled. If the man was actually right, he only had a few days left...

  ...and he knew the man's words to be true.

  Breathing had become difficult. His heart rate was erratic. His normally addled thoughts had become even more jumbled. He knew that there was more that had gone wrong ever since he had been caught in the explosion. He swallowed hard as he felt the mask's soothing vapours working their way into his lungs. He knew he had a choice to make...

 Junkrat opened his eyes four days later.

 Roadhog had checked in on him frequently during those four long days, making sure his new employer had continued to breathe. He was growing concerned that the younger man would starve to death. He knew the sleeping man needed nutrients, but he also knew that there was no way that he could safely feed him without a naso-gastric tube. Were this a lifetime ago and he still at the hospital where he had been doing his clinicals, this wouldn't be an issue, but he was out in the middle of the irradiated Outback with only a few basic supplies available to him. He found himself sighing in frustration more often than not as he paced around the tiny shack. If his new boss didn't wake up soon, he thought to himself, he’d start digging a grave...

 On the evening of the fourth day, Junkrat opened his eyes. Roadhog heaved a sigh of relief as he fetched a cup of broth and a straw. When he came back, the young man greedily slurped the warm liquid, his stomach growling as loudly as he did when Roadhog forced him to slow down. "I'm starvin'!" "If y'drink too fast, y'll get sick." Roadhog said sternly, "now just take sips." "But--" "Sips." Junkrat sighed and begrudgingly agreed, sipping the warm broth until the cup was empty. He sat back and rubbed his sunken stomach with his remaining hand, sighing as he looked at the stumps of his right arm and leg. "I'll make y’somethin' solid to eat soon." The older man said as he stood. "Is there anythin' y’need right now?" "Yeah; I need me arm and me leg back." Junkrat's voice was small, undeniably young. Roadhog ignored the small pang of sadness that he felt. "I'll do what I can. Now rest." "Can't do anythin' else, anyway," he sighed as he tried to make himself comfortable on the cot...

   The first three weeks after the amputation passed slowly for Junkrat. He was tired and irritable, unwilling to talk with the man that had crippled him. Part of him knew that, deep down, Roadhog truly had saved him, but it sure as hell didn't feel that way. His angry gaze would follow Roadhog as he moved through the shack, his teeth all but gnashing whenever he felt the tall man's hands lifting him up. He could move through the home by himself, but it was slow progress and he was prone to falling over. On the fourth week, Roadhog had to leave him for a few days so he could replenish their pantry.  

Junkrat couldn't be happier.

  When the sounds of the motorcycle’s engine had faded, he hopped out of bed. He had improvised a crutch for himself over the past few days and had been getting better to making his way around - he had even been able to make his way outside and around the arid landscape. As nice as it was to feel the sun on his skin, he had another reason for being out in the nuclear wastes.

  During his forced bed rest, while Roadhog had slept fitfully in the next room, he had heard the quiet whining of something that was distinctly machinated. Unfortunately, he didn't know how close the source of the noise was; the Outback was silent at night now. The wildlife had either fled the radiation or perished long ago. Ever since that night, though, he had strained his ears to hear the grinding of old gears and the hiss of hydraulics. Whatever it was, he knew that it was close by. He hadn't told Roadhog about it; he needed the machine in one piece and he had the feeling that if he sent Roadhog after it, the metal would be mangled beyond use.

Armed with a crutch, a supply pack and an old pistol, Junkrat began to look around. It didn't take him long to find a set of humanoid tracks, but it did take him over two days to get close enough to the omnic to get a good look at it. Hazarding a guess, he figured it to be an old farm worker that had long since lost his farm. With a grin, Junkrat lined up his pistol; the omnic was about to buy a whole new one...

  It only took one shot.

  Limping his way over to the disabled omnic, Junkrat couldn't help but smile at his luck. The stupid machine was in pretty good shape, all things considered. He flopped onto the dirt and pulled a small set of tools out of his pocket, grinning as he stared at the metallic limbs. He began to whistle a jaunty tune as he set to work...

  Roadhog returned to the shack almost a week later.

  He dropped the heavy bag full of rations as he saw Junkrat walking around on two legs and holding a cup of tea in his hand. His right hand. "How?" "Oi, 'bout time y'got back!" Junkrat made his way up to the tall man and smiled. "Went out and got me a new leg, I did! And an arm!" "Where--" "Found an omnic. Decided it was time to make it do somethin’ good for once - the only good omnic's a dead one, y'know. And look!" Junkrat shifted his weight onto his new peg leg, balancing for a moment before putting his foot back on the ground. "I can do that!" He took a sip from the teacup, extending his metal pinky. "Hand's good, too; been workin' out the kinks." "Y’killed an omnic? With what?" Roadhog was thankful for his mask - he didn't want his new employer to see him standing with his jaw on the metaphorical floor. "Me pistol! Honestly, mate, y'd go stupid while y'were gone?” He tilted his head. “Didja think I’d just lay about, helpless and waitin' for y'to come back?" Roadhog shook his head and picked up the bag of rations, making his way into the tiny kitchen. "How'd y'even make it through the wastes?" Junkrat shrugged as he walked into the kitchen - his peg leg hit the ground with a little more force than he was intending, but he was walking nonetheless. "Patience and me crutch. Wasn't hard, y’know; it was just an old farmbot that I followed. He wasn't goin' anywhere fast - think he was just lookin' for somethin' to plant." Junkrat shrugged. "Made good scrap, he did. Got enough to make me a new gun and other stuff, too." Roadhog glanced over his shoulder at the younger man before unloading his bag, saying nothing. "What? Now y'aren't gonna talk? C'mon, I'm bored! Y'kept talkin' when I was stuck in bed; why're y'quiet now?" "What were y’thinkin? Y'could've gotten killed!" "But I didn't." Roadhog sighed as he placed a slab of dried meat on the counter. "I can't be a bodyguard if y'r dead! I told y'to stay inside. Why didn't y'listen?" "I was bored." Junkrat said simply - what other explanation was needed?

  Roadhog sighed. "Look, don't do that again, alright? Y'do me no good dead." "Fine, fine." Junkrat waved his new metal hand disinterestedly, clearly having no intention of listening. "So when're we gonna rob a bank?" "What?" "A bank. I wanna rob one. When can we?" Roadhog could only stare, his lips silently moving behind his mask. "C'mon; didja honestly think I'd hire y'to just watch over me? Let's go already! The world's our oyster. Y'ever had oysters? Not sure what the fuss is about - slimy little fuckers. Why's that the phrase--" "Just... shut up for two minutes," Roadhog rubbed his temples as he stared at the floor, "you want to rob a bank?" "Yeah - it's fun. Money's good, too. Y'like money? I do. Y'get more boba tea with money than guns. I mean, y'get a lot with guns, but it's harder to go back to the sho--" "Do you ever shut up?" "Nope!" Junkrat was grinning as he hopped between flesh foot and metal leg. "'sides, I'm bored! Y'left for a week!" Roadhog turned his back to the younger man, contenting himself with putting away the rest of the food. "Fine. We'll rob a bank, but y'gotta heal up more first. Y'were septic. Prob'ly still are." He didn't need to look at the young man to know that he was currently dancing around on his peg leg - he could hear the metallic clanking just fine. "Fine! Fine, we'll wait, but we're gonna rob two banks now." "That doesn't make any sense--" "I'm payin' ya, aren't I? If I say we're robbin a bank, we're robbin' a bank!"

  Roadhog could only sigh; arguing would probably only lead to a third bank being added to the roster...

   A third bank was, indeed, added to the roster. Along with twelve more. Not too much later, they had become the terror of the--

   Roadhog glanced down as he felt Junkrat's metal fingers digging into his thigh. He stroked the younger man's back, smiling as Junkrat's hand released its grip on his leg. The younger man rubbed his eyes with his left hand, lightly smacking his lips as he blinked in the sunlight. "Are we home yet?" "Nope," Roadhog continued to rub his back, "few hours to go." "We live too far away," Junkrat mumbled as he crawled across the bench seat and came to sit on Roadhog's lap, straddling him as he draped his arms around the man’s neck. His legs folded underneath his thin body as he let himself sink into Roadhog's chest. "What're y'doin'?" Roadhog chuckled. "Just givin' me Roadhog a road-hug." His voice was thick with sleep as his eyes closed again. "Wake me when we get home." Roadhog said nothing as he put a hand on the man's back, gently holding him in place; his other hand held the old steering wheel, safely guiding them through the hellish wastelands as his mind returned to wandering...

  It had taken a rainstorm to make him realize how he felt about Junkrat.

  Well, no, that was a lie. It had taken a lot more than just a rainstorm. It had taken him months to figure out how he felt about the young man. One of those months had been spent almost entirely in thought, sorting through the tangled webs of emotions and all the hazards that were associated with the word 'love.' He was still glad that Junkrat had been the one to say it first.

  ...even though the delivery could have been better...

 Eighteen months, they had been living and working together - or, rather, Junkrat had moved himself into Roadhog's home and had started making demands on what they were going to do. Their crime spree, spurred onward by the ever-energetic Junkrat, had earned them both a tremendous amount of wealth and infamy alike. They had to abandon the shack that Roadhog had built in favour of one that was better hidden - and larger. They had managed to find a mostly intact house that was nestled deep within the nuclear wastelands. It was there that they had begun to plan their first international crimes, laughing and hashing out ideas as they drank stolen champagne.

  Later that night, Junkrat ambled his way into Roadhog's bedroom, a bottle in hand, and all but threw himself onto Roadhog's lap as he drunkenly stroked the man's broad stomach. "...love yooouuu," he drawled, his glazed eyes staring at the tattooed pig, "y'fuckin'... murder pillow..." he hiccupped. Roadhog stared down at the scrawny man, lowering his book as he felt Junkrat hugging his stomach. "Murder pillow?" "Yup. Murder pillow." Junkrat nuzzled the man's stomach, hiccupping as he hummed to himself. "Big... squishy... wall of de-hic-struction." The ash and dust on his cheeks smeared across Roadhog's stomach as he quietly giggled. "Y'r just a biiiig ol' softie... can punch through a wall, too," Junkrat grinned more as he pressed a sloppy kiss onto the top of the tattoo's head, "that's me Roadhog!" "Are y’talkin' to me or the tat?" "Youuuu!" He raised his head and stared up at the masked face, "y'r me Hoggie!" He slowly poked the snout of the mask with a laugh; the empty bottle of champagne fell to the ground with a clatter. "Y'need to go to bed," Roadhog grumped, "y'r fuckin' trashed." "Naw! I'm fine!" Junkrat poked the mask again, "'m perfect-hic-ly fine!" "No, y'r not." "I’ll show ya.” He slid off of the man’s lap. “Watch me!" He stumbled as he tried to regain his balance, the metal nub of his peg-leg skidding across the worn floors. He wobbled for a moment before fallin--

  Junkrat stared down at the large hands that were holding him steady.

 "Y'r trashed," Roadhog said quietly. "C'mon, bed time." "Aw, mate, no..." Junkrat sniffled, his joyous mood gone in a flash. "Don't... wanna go to bed. ‘m lonely." He rolled his eyes behind his mask. "We'll find y'a girl, then." "Don't want one," he slowly stood up, still holding onto Roadhog's hands. "A fella?" "Naw," Junkrat sniffled again as he hugged his arms to his chest, "don't want 'em. They all... just point 'n laugh." He stared down at his remaining toes. "Don't want 'em." He hiccupped before looking back up to the bodyguard. "'s why I love ya. Y'treat me like a normal bloke. Y'don't care 'bout me peg leg and me metal arm. Y'don't care," he hiccupped again, "'bout me looks or anythin' else 'bout me. 'm just... just y'r Junkrat." He let his eyes fall back to his toes. "Don't... make me go."

  Roadhog slowly blinked as the words sunk in. It explained a great deal, he thought to himself; even when they were disguised and out in public, Junkrat's eyes never wandered - his gaze was almost always on his bodyguard. The past several months, too, suddenly made much more sense - Junkrat had been growing even more clingy than usual. He had gone from finding excuses to touch Roadhog to simply jumping on him outright and climbing across his body like a jungle gym. He stared at the morose little gremlin before him. "Y'can stay. C'mon, get in bed. I'll go lock up for the night." "Y'mean it?" Junkrat's voice was small, hopeful. "...yeah. I mean it." Roadhog slowly stood up and left the room as Junkrat flopped down onto the bed. His metal leg fell to the ground alongside his heavy boot. His prosthetic hand came to rest on the lopsided nightstand as he waited for Roadhog to return, his fingers nervously drumming against his knee.

  When Roadhog came back into the bedroom, Junkrat's eyes followed his every motion. The older man pretended not to notice as he undressed down to his worn boxers, nor did he acknowledge how Junkrat's smile nearly split his face in twain. He sat down and lowered himself onto his back, ignoring the sighing of the old mattress, only to give his own sigh as Junkrat immediately curled up against him. Seconds later, Junkrat pulled Roadhog's heavy arm over his own body as his head came to rest against his chest. The body guard said nothing as he closed his eyes, listening to Junkrat as his frantic breathing slowed. "G'night, 'rat." Junkrat's snore was his only response...

  The next morning was not so tranquil.

Junkrat woke slowly, cursing his head as he rubbed his dry eyes. He could feel his stomach complaining as it sloshed and gurgled, regretting the second bottle of champagne that he had decided to drink by himself. "Oh, me fuckin' head..." he moaned, "why'd I drink so much...?" He slowly sat up and rubbed his forehead.

 It was then that he realized two things: one, he was not alone and two, that he was not in his bed. "Oh, fuck me," Junkrat stared at the sleeping behemoth, swallowing hard as he saw Roadhog sleeping only in his boxers. He glanced down at himself and paled as he saw his own underwear. "What happened...? Oh, bloody hell, what happened last night?" "Hush," Roadhog mumbled as he scratched his stomach, "go back to sleep." "Hoggie, what happened? Why am I in y'r bed?" "Go back--" "Talk to me." His voice was slipping into hysteria. "Tell me what happened!"

  Slowly, very slowly, Roadhog pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Y'wanna know what happened? Fine. Y'came in here last night, drunk off y'r arse, parked y'rself on my lap and told me y’loved me." Junkrat's jaw dropped as he stared at the other man. "n-Naw, naw. Y'r just pullin me leg! I didn't do that..." "Y'did. Told me y'loved me." Junkrat quickly grabbed his metal arm and began to reattach it, doing his best to not look at the other man. He said nothing as he fumbled with his leg, making sure to keep his face turned away from Roadhog. He didn't want the man to see the angry tears in his eyes. Face it, he thought to himself, y'fucked up. Y'ruined it before it even started...

  Junkrat pushed himself to his feet and began to walk away, only to bite his lip as Roadhog grabbed his arm to stop him. "Fuck off!" His young voice was wavering. "Junkrat--" "No!" he pulled his arm free as he ran from the room.

  Roadhog sat back and sighed as he heard the front door slamming. Not only was Junkrat upset, he was upset and running around the Outback without pants... With a groan, Roadhog dressed and left to go find the gremlin.

  He didn't have to look very far.

  Junkrat was crouched down by a small outcropping of rocks, his left hand angrily wiping away a few tears. Roadhog slowly approached before coming to sit beside him. "Brought y'r pants." He held out the pair of old shorts, "thought y'might want 'em." Junkrat wiped his eyes before turning to look at his bodyguard. "Why'd y'follow me? Is it 'cause y'r my bodyguard?" His voice was soft, almost heartbroken. Roadhog didn't miss the tone. "Nope. Y'r my friend. That's why." "Friend?" Junkrat looked away. "Even after last night?" He sniffled again. "Guess it's better than havin' nothin'..." "Junkrat..." Roadhog sighed. "Listen; I don't know how I feel. I know how y’feel about me, but,” he shook his head, “look. All I know is that I'm closer to y'than anyone else." He rubbed his forehead, "just let me think, alright?" "Hoggie...?" "What?" "Spider." He pointed at the man's leg.

  Roadhog followed Junkrat's pointing finger and stared at the Huntsman that had begun to climb up his body. He lifted his mask and blew on it, watching as it scampered away. Lowering his mask, he turned his gaze back to the young man. "Give me time," Roadhog said gently, "lemme think. Nothin's changed between us, but I need t'think." Junkrat stared at the man for a moment before nodding. He wiped his cheeks dry and then stood up, shimmying into his pants. "Thanks, Hoggie." Roadhog said nothing as they walked back to their safe house...

   Roadhog stroked the sleeping Junkrat's back as he continued to drive through the desolate lands, his smile faltering as he remembered the long months it had taken him to figure out his own emotions. Junkrat had become rather quiet, disheartened and even quicker to anger. He was more ruthless on their heists, more prone to using excessive force. Roadhog had tried to soothe the young man, but any bit of kindness was quickly pushed away; Junkrat would snarl each time Roadhog touched him, always saying something about not touching him unless he meant it. The older man would take his hand away as he hid his sighs - it was to be expected, he thought to himself; Junkrat most likely had never been in this kind of situation before. It was always difficult to confess emotions, he knew, but to do it while drunk for the first time and to another, older man...? He would shake his head and walk away, leaving his frustrated employer alone.

  As the weeks passed, Roadhog did his best to give Junkrat his space, but he found himself becoming lonelier. He had become used to the high pitched laughter and being used as a living jungle gym; his days were too quiet now, he thought. He missed the odd signs of affection that Junkrat would shower on him - he missed waking up to Junkrat poking the nose of his mask, missed hearing the same stories that Junkrat would always gleefully tell. Hell, he even missed Junkrat waking him up in the middle of the night to tell him about an idea that he just had. He distinctly remembered feeling alone for the first time in many years as Junkrat spurned his company in favour of sitting alone in the Outback.

  All of that changed on the day it rained.

  It was an actual rain, warm and fresh. It wasn't often that it rained in the Outback and for it to be raining pure water was almost unheard of. Acidic rains had become the norm, scorching the earth with every new storm.

  Junkrat raised his head as he sat on the dead grass, blinking as the rain splashed down on his dirty face. A split second later, he scrambled to his feet as his heart pounded within his chest; he didn't want to be caught in an acid storm! He began to run back to the safe house, cursing his metal leg, only to slow as he realized that the air smelled... clean...

  Roadhog's head snapped up as he heard the first drops of rain on the metal roof. His eyes went wide as he realized that Junkrat was still outside, in the open, with only his bandoliers and shorts for protection. He quickly dug through his trunk and pulled out a heavy tarp, cursing as he ran outside. He shouted for the young man, unable to hide the worry in his voice as he frantically scanned the darkening landscape. His boots began to slip in the muck, but Roadhog never stopped running, even when his lungs screamed for air. Roadhog kept shouting, determined to find Junkrat and get him to safety.

  He was not prepared to see Junkrat standing on a pile of rocks and waving.

  "Get over here!" Roadhog shouted, his voice muffled by his mask. "We need to get inside!" "Naw, mate!" Junkrat's voice was full of laughter, "it's just rain! Real rain!" "What?" "Drop the oilskin! It's fine!" Junkrat jumped off the rocks and down into a puddle, laughing more as mud spattered his scrawny chest. Slowly, very slowly, Roadhow lowered the tarp and let the rain touch his tanned hide. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt actual rain... "See?" The younger man slowly walked up to his bodyguard as the storm grew stronger. "Jus' water." A smile was gracing his face now - a smile that Roadhog hadn't seen in months.

  His heart began to pound as he realized just how much he had missed that smile.

  "Hoggie?" Junkrat's voice was soft, worried as he stared up at his motionless bodyguard. "Y'alright, mate?" Roadhog nodded as he slowly removed his mask. He let it fall to the ground as he grabbed Junkrat's arms. He pulled the younger man up into a hug before kissing him. His arms were all but crushing Junkrat to his chest, but neither complained as they lost themselves to their kiss...

  A crash of thunder made them pull away. They held the other's gaze before Roadhog lowered Junkrat to the ground. "C'mon," he said gruffly, "we need to get back inside. Y'r half metal and I don't want you to get struck by lightin'." "Y'kissed me." Junkrat put his hands to his mouth, his eyes as large as his smile. "Yeah, now c'mon. The rain's gettin' worse." "Y'kissed me!" Roadhog stared down at the younger man as he replaced his mask. "Yeah, I did. Let's go." "Y'kiss--" Roadhog sighed as he threw Junkrat over his shoulder. "If y'won't run, I'll carry ya." "Why'd y'kiss me? Do y'love me?" He asked giddily. "Yeah. I do. I love you." "Really?!" "Yup."

  Junkrat wiggled his way across Roadhog's back, pulling himself up to sit on Roadhog's shoulders. His hands began to play with the man's grey hair as Roadhog made his way back to their safe house. He held Junkrat's legs as he ran, smiling to himself as he heard Junkrat's laughter. He, too, began to laugh as Junkrat held the tarp over their heads in a vain attempt to stave off the pouring rain.

  By the time they had made it back to the safe house, they were both drenched to the bone. Junkrat slowly climbed off of Roadhog's shoulders before the pair walked into their respective bedrooms to change. They both tossed their sodden clothes over the kitchen chairs before coming to sit together in the living room. "Hoggie?" "Mm?" "Would," he swallowed, "y'kiss me again?" Roadhog glanced down at the young man that had come to sit beside him. He put his arm around Junkrat's shoulders and pulled him closer as he removed his mask. With a smile, Roadhog leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on the man's lips...

  Roadhog parked his truck in front of their safe house, heaving a sigh of relief as he silenced the engine. He always had the worry that the old vehicle wouldn't make it back to the safe house, but the risk of engine failure was miniscule when compared to the benefits of the truck’s anonymity. His motorcycle and the attached sidecar weren't exactly common; it had become even more conspicuous after Junkrat decided to decorate the sidecar in a late-night fit of mania. Not to mention, Roadhog smiled, the last thing he wanted to do while buying eggs was deal with people desperate for the bounty on his head. He stared down at the sleeping Junkrat and began to carefully wiggle his way out of the driver's seat, doing his best to avoid waking the other man. If Junkrat stayed asleep, it'd be easier to make his birthday cake; Junkrat always insisted on helping and, more often than not, Roadhog found himself cleaning food off of the ceiling.

  At least Junkrat had finally learned the difference between a Potato Masher and an actual potato masher...

   Roadhog carried Junkrat inside their safe house and placed him down on their bed, smiling as he draped a sheet over him. Junkrat mumbled as he pulled the sheet a little closer and nuzzled the pillow before falling still once again; Roadhog watched the scene with a fond gaze before leaving. He returned to his truck and brought in their supplies. Humming quietly to himself, Roadhog put the final few items away before starting to make a chocolate cake...

   Junkrat ambled out of the bedroom a few hours after the sun had set. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he looked around their small kitchen, his bushy brows knitting in confusion as he stared at a frosted cake and two plates loaded with steak and mashed potatoes. "What's this for?" He asked as he sat down on a rickety chair. "It's y'r birthday," Roadhog's voice came from the living room, "thought y'd like a cake and steak." "Is it chocolate?" "Yup. Eat y'r steak first." "But--" "Steak." "Fine, fine," Junkrat griped, "but y'gotta come eat with me!" "Give me a moment," Roadhog finished pressing the last bit of tape onto a wrapped box before standing. He had a feeling that Junkrat had completely forgotten what he had asked for, but Roadhog hadn't. There were a few pairs of new shorts tucked into a box and three bricks of plastic explosives within another. The wrapped gifts weren't what Junkrat had asked for; Junkrat had only said one word when asked for what he wanted: “you.”

  Roadhog glanced at himself in a mirror and smiled as he saw the comically large bow tied around his ponytail. He never was very good at wrapping presents, but he still tried for Junkrat's sake. He looked to the gifts in his hands before staring back at the dirty mirror. He didn't consider himself to be any sort of gift, but he'd be damned if he disappointed his lover and best friend by not giving him the only thing he asked for.

  "Hoggie, why d'y'got a bow on your head?" Junkrat laughed when Roadhog walked into the kitchen. "Y'don't remember?" Junkrat's flat expression made Roadhog smile. "Y'said y'wanted me for y'r birthday. Thought I should at least put a bow on." "Drongo," he beamed, "thanks." Roadhog returned the smile as he put the boxes down on the table. "Happy birthday, 'rat."

  The older man watched as Junkrat began to eat his dinner, unable to stop himself from smiling. He was in love with the crazed Junker and he wasn't ashamed to admit it; among many other things, Junkrat had given him a purpose to his life again, something he hadn't had in well over a decade. It might not be the most conventional purpose in the world, but it didn’t matter to Roadhog – especially not when Junkrat looked up at him. With only a smile, the young man would tell Roadhog that he was his entire world. Roadhog would squeeze his shoulder in reply, silently telling him the same thing.  

"Y'r starin' at me." "Yup." "Gonna eat y'r dinner?" "Maybe," Roadhog grinned, "but I wanna look at y'more." "Why? Me hair on fire?" "Nope. Just starin' 'cause I love you." "Drongo," Junkrat blushed as he stared down at his plate, "...love y'too." Roadhog smiled more as he finally picked up his own knife and fork...