#“it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die”
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Sky only one bed
One bed (morning confessions)
No warnings just some fluff
Your excitement to sleep at an inn is only half diminished when you find that you've been paired to a room with only one bed. It's not the end of the world. Traveling with this group, you've seen everyone hurt or in various states of dress.
The issue is actually just that there's only one bed and the person you are sharing the room (and apparently bed) with is Sky.
That... makes it sound bad. It isn't!
Sky is wonderful, kind if a little prone to teasing. After all every Link is a gremlin at heart.
The problem, or the root of it, is that you have feelings for the man... and you are worried about making a fool of yourself.
"Well, I can take the floor?" Sky offers from the doorway behind you.
You stand in the middle of the room and turn, "Absolutely not."
"I don't mind."
"I mind." You cross your arms.
You know that if you offer to sleep on the floor he'll shoot it down. Which, if nice because that would probably mess up ypur back and neck.
You know the bed is big enough.
Well... You suppose you'll just have to suck up your feelings about this and share. The bed is big enough for it.
"We can share." You say, hoping you come of as confident.
Sky smiles even as his cheeks dust pink, "Are you sure?"
"Yes. It's big enough anyways." You offer a smile back. "Besides there are worse people to share a bed with."
"Oh yeah?"
You laugh a little. "Definitely. Wind kicks in his sleep, little monster."
"You don't say." Sky laughs.
You snicker again. "I'm pretty sure. Come on it's been a long day we should try to sleep."
"Probably so." Sky says as he steps fully into the room and shuts the door.
You cross to the corner of the room, setting your things down before stripping into your under layers. An under shirt and underwear is much better to sleep in than full gear.
You can hear Sky doing the same somewhere on behind you.
It's almost scary to bear so little protection after so long with this group, but you know you're safe here. Regardless of any reciprocation Sky may or may not have for your feelings, he would never hurt you. Not on purpose.
Crossing to the bed and getting in is more daunting than you want to admit. It's a comfortable bed, at least.
You watch Sky get into bed, laying like a stiff log beside you.
"That's got to be uncomfortable." You say with a soft smile.
"It's fine. I don't want to encroach."
"I'm not going to die if you end up touching my arm, but thank you for thinking of me."
Sky looks at you with wide eyes. "I sprawl out usually I just don't want to bother you."
A rather silly idea occurs to you. "Would it be easier if we cuddled?"
You can feel your face heat up, but it's a genuine question. There is no answer that will be easy on your heart, but you've already asked.
Sky flushes a little. "If... you don't mind?"
"I offered." You manage.
You both shift until you're comfortable. The soft 'is this okay' or 'can I do this' is asked until you settle down.
Sky lays on his back in the middle of the bed, your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around you. His heart beats rapidly in his chest like bass drum beating along to a fast song you don't know.
It's nice.
It's torture because this isn't quite what you imagined this situation would be. There's no kisses.
It's okay though, because Sky is a good friend and you feel safe.
"Are you going to be able to sleep?" You ask.
Sky hums, "I should be. Why?"
"Your heart's fast is all."
"Oh." Sky says.
"I didn't mean to be rude-"
"You weren't." Sky assures you.
"Okay."
You let yourself sink into the comfort and safety, relishing the warmth of the man holding you.
Sky's breathing is slow and steady. Even as his heart continues it's rapid staccato.
You lay there long enough that you are all but asleep when you hear it.
"You're beautiful like this." Sky whispers.
You manage to open your eyes, face warming. "Thank you."
"Oh- I thought you were asleep. I mean it though."
"Thank you."
"Go back to sleep, sunshine."
You feel far more awake at this new nickname. "Sunshine?"
"Oh. Uh-"
"I like that one." You decide, ignoring the hope blossoming in your heart.
"Good." Sky says.
Sleep finds you both, the embrace of dreams is nothing new.
-------
Sky wakes and immediately closes his eyes again the sunlight streaming in from the window. He pulls the thing again his chest closer in protest-
That's not a thing that's a person.
Sky opens his eyes again, quickly looking down and seeing you.
Right.
Goddess above, Sky was such a fool last night. Letting his feelings fall all over the ground. It's a miracle he didn't make you uncomfortable on accident.
"I'm so lucky." Sky mutters to himself.
You groan, burying your face in his chest before you bolt up with a gasp.
"What- Sky?" You ask with blurring vision.
"Morning." Sky says.
You blink a few times, the sigh. Lowering yourself back down to your original position with your head on his chest you just pout. "No."
"No?" Sky chuckles.
"Don't wanna."
"Fair enough."
"I was having a nice dream." You sigh, sounding a little out if it still. "Was nice, we were married and having a picnic."
"Oh?" Sky asks.
"Yes."
"Sounds nice."
"It was. Too bad it's not real." You yawn, burying your face in his chest again.
"It could be." Sky offers on instinct.
"What?" You ask, looking up at him.
Sky gives a nervous smile. "It could be real. If you meant that, if you actually want a life with me. If I'm miss reading-"
"Really?"
"Yes." Sky breathes out.
You smile, giddy and adoreable. "We're so talking about this later."
"After breakfast."
"Sounds lovely." You say, setting back down and closing your eyes. "I just want to lay here for now."
"Sounds perfect." Sky says, pulling you a little closer while fixing the blankets.
#misty writes#2 year anniversary fic bingo#linked universe x reader#lu sky#lu sky x reader#sky x reader
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Hi! I know this isn’t about my fanfic. Internet is down so imma talk about another idea I have!
BEAST YEAST EP 8 SPOILERS TECHNICALLY
The names I came up with for this story is
1. Truly Truthless
2. World of Deciet
3. Chaos in the Midst of Deciet
Basically Pure Vanilla has actually fallen to deceit, and can’t find his way to the truth. He also doesn’t understand why he would want to see anymore truth.
Yet he needs to protect his friends.
Follows the story up to the part Gingerbrave, Strawberry, and Wizard gets pushed off. Pure Vanilla’s entire soul hurts too much to bare. He tells Shadow Milk that it is still his souljam, and that there are 2 soul jams of Deceit.
The two cookies of deceit, both capable of powerful magic, starts to spread the realm of Deceit. It grows as Candy Apple and Black Sapphire is instructed to spread Deceit. Truthless Recluse doesn’t create any lies, instead choosing to spread the realm and watch the chaos.
Meanwhile Gingerbrave, Strawberry, and Wizard is saved by Fortune Teller Cookie who tells them it’s too late, and there is no way for them to save the cookie they once knew. He can feel it in his soul, as the Truthless Recluse and Fortune Teller Cookie is technically the same person.
Of course, they are determined to enter the spire, yet Fortune Teller Cookie knows they will actually die if they do. He brings the gang away as he explains that the other ancients, who know him better, is the only ones who can break him out of it. The more lies that Truthless Recluse says, the closer he is to staying a cookie of deceit.
It’s a race against time to go back to Crispia and talk to the ancients, to bring Pure Vanilla back and take down Shadow Milk.
“Come onnnnn- you should spread at least one lie!!”
Truthless Recluse considers it. One that will work for all sides he wants. Not allowing his friends to get in the way of deceit and not allowing his friends to join him in the spire.
“One lie.”
“Ooooooo and what would that be.”
A message not to mess with the first cookie of deceit. Also allowing him to stay unknown in town.
“That Pure Vanilla Cookie has been crumbled by your hand.”
So the awakened ancients think Pure Vanilla Cookie is dead. All the kingdoms besides the Vanilla Kingdom having more rumours and lies throughout.
The fairy kingdom (being the closest kingdom to the spire) having more problems and is more hostile. As their first destination, meeting up again with White Lily Cookie.
That isn’t all the story points. Do tell if you want more of this! Thank you! Hope you enjoyed!
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If Amanda the Adventurer had Tumblr part 2
(cuz I had so much fun making part 1 this morning)
🛼riley-does-things Follow
So... a lot happened. Updates later.
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🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
So now that Wooly's gone what do you wanna do?
137 notes
🛼riley-does-things reblogged
🛼riley-does-things Follow
So yeah I followed this random stranger into their car and fell asleep. Now we're at the library. I guess it could be worse.
✨random-star-seeker Follow
YOU WHAT?!
🛼riley-does-things Follow
She said she knew my aunt (I'm a full grown adult btw dw).
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🛼riley-does-things Follow
WHY IS THIS PUZZLE SO COMPLICATED?!
5 notes
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official reblogged
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Hey @hameln-official can I please go somewhere for real next time? Like... idk SOMEWHERE
🐁hameln-official Follow
You can go anywhere you can dream of! With the power of imagination!
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Whoever is running this account I swear when I find you-
365 notes
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official reblogged
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow
Feeling cute. Might eat someone's money today. :)
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
For the last time- WHO ARE YOU?!
67 notes
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow reblogged
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Now listen here you-
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow
ooooooh toothpaste.
53 notes
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Ever have a nightmare at night and it's just like WHAT THE-
Edit: @hameln-official told me I wasn't allowed to swear 🙄
10 notes
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official reblogged
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
I'm baack! (Terrible pun I know). Hehe
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET SO MUCH MORE NOTES THAN ME?!?!
5K notes
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official reblogged
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
Amanda said I'm not her best friend today and I'm sad. :(
🛼riley-does-things Follow
Didn't she try to kill you? Like... on multiple occasions? Wait- Didn't you die?
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
🤷🤷🤷 I got better.
400 notes
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official reblogged
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow
Feeling chaotic today, might cause problems on purpose.
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
YOU COVERED ME IN PAINT!!! I AM RUNNING OUT OF PAITENCE WITH YOU I SWEAR
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
I am so confused, what happened while I was out? Who is this? T^T
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🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official reblogged
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
"Ms. Cat and her kittens have to eat." they don't have to eat BIRDS Amanda. Give them some cat food. (This is why I'm a dog person smh)
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
LET THEM EAT WHAT THEY WANT!
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow
Or just eat the cat. Best of both worlds :D
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
HUH?! No? WHAT?
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
NO!!! NOT THE CAT!!
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🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
When I have more control over your life than my own for some reason. :D
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🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official reblogged
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Majestic
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
Suddenly I don't want to eat this slice of peach pie anymore.
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Good.
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🐁hameln-official reblogged
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Looks at you with big soulful eyes as if I actually have a soul. Which I do. I have a soul. I'm trapped. Help me.
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
... me too plz. If you don't mind the trouble-
🐁hameln-official Follow
Hahaha! You guys are so funny! ^^
6K notes.
😈just-a-random-opossum reblogged
🛼riley-does-things Follow
I keep getting murdered.
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow
Skill issue.
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🛼riley-does-things reblogged
😎sams-shows-deactivated-20020703
Hameln just picked up my show as a cartoon! I cannot wait for you all to see my daughter's radiant imaginative world reimagined! It's going to be so great!
📚anonymous-librarian Follow
I miss you...
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
I miss you.
🛼riley-does-things Follow
I miss you... but you really got me into a hot mess here.
🎭yo-it's-joh Follow
OMG I AM SOOOOO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY! 😨😭😭😭
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
who tf are you?!?
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
Amanda! Language! (sorry about your dad)
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
GET OFF MY DAD'S POST YOU OVERSIZED EXPIRED MARSHMELLOW ON THE FLOOR OF THE LANDROMAT!!!
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
>:O
🛼riley-does-things Follow
Sam was right she really is imaginative. (RIP 😔 you seemed like a cool dude.)
678 notes
🛼riley-does-things Follow
I am so tired...
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🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official reblogged
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
So wait @amanda-the-adventurer-official who is your best friend?
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Right now? Riley Park.
🛼riley-does-things Follow
Yo?!? Don't just drop my lore to the public like that!
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Good point. I should drop Wooly's full actual legal government name instead. :P
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
Don't you dare.
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
😼
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
Hey now, don't mess with me. Two can play this game.
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! BTW my real name's Jordan Cook btw. :P
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
HA! FINALLY!
🎭yo-it's-joh Follow
@just-a-random-opossum Jordan?
😈just-a-random-opossum Follow
JOH?!
🐁hameln-official Follow
Can we all please stop before this gets out of hand-
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
Okay... Wooly's still a butt-head tho.
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official Follow
THAT'S IT AMANDA IS REBECCA COLTON
🐁hameln-official Follow
WOOLY!
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official Follow
HA! EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW THAT DINGBAT!
75K notes
That's it for today I need to stop! I'll make more as long as I'm not annoying you all with these ^^. I HAVE SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO MANY MORE IDEAS AND JOKES YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!
But if you liked these let me know :3
🍎amanda-the-adventurer-official - is Amanda/Rebecca Colton
🍑wooly-the-sheep-official - is Wooly ;)
🛼riley-does-things - is Riley
📚anonymous-librarian was Kate (her account has not been deactivated yet.)
🐁hameln-official is Hameln
😎sams-shows-deactivated-20020703 - was Sam
😈just-a-random-opossum - is the opossum/chickenscratch/Jordan
🎭yo-it's-joh - is Joanne. Couldn't come up with a better name cuz I realized we know nothing about her outside of her trying to save her brother and I doubt that would be her social media handle.
✨random-star-seeker is legit some random stranger. :/ Whoever you want her to be.
Do you like these? I could do more! Again, I have so so so so many more ideas I am stopping because self control!
#amanda the adventurer#maddykpost#amanda the adventurer 2#ata 2#wooly the sheep#amanda the adventurer wooly#tw unreality#unreality#dashboard simulator#fake posts
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As a stand-alone film it was, what internet would call 'a mid'. It did pay homage to oldies and it was not something you'd call "simple and hasty cash grab". it did some things very canon friendly, but also forgot to give us characters to like or root for. It gets worse, when we see it as a Hellraiser film. It takes away almost every element fans seem to love in HR films and gives us CGI-which is nice and well done (really nice job, better than in modern marvel films), but nothing you have not seen done in i.e. 6th film already. I think the film gets adult rating not from the graphics and violence, but the fact the main character is high half times. And seeing a intoxicated woman constantly complaining and cry about her brother gets old very quick. As a final girl she just does not work. Could have made her brothers boyfriend the final-boy, that would have been better. That guy least had charm and became someone you wanted to survive. And that leads us to the inevitable Disney problem. The film is done during era where Disney financed productions all need to follow certain formula. Unfortunately that formula makes it very predictable. Now what is Disney formula people can probably find swiftly themselves if they want to be spoiled for every future production related to Disney (including their owned studios) . Alien: Romulus (a good film, I recommend ) by the way follows the exact formula and even kill order is same as in Hulus Hellraiser. Only reason I saw the 2022 film was that i was not well and a friend pressed the button my ISPs view-on-demand film selection thinking that surely a bit of Hellraiser would cheer me up. I think it has some good elements and the film makers loved what they were doing as well treated source material with respect - in many ways it is way more original canon friendly than 1987 film was. However i feel that I perhaps was not the target audience. I know its canon, but I also hated the 'pearl pins' with passion. And yes, I will die on that hill.
The Hellraiser films as light novel titles:
Hellrasier: How (not) to accidently summon sex demons
Hellbound: The sex demons won’t leave me alone, so I’ll remind them of their humanity and hope things work out for the best!
Hell On Earth: Since my soul was split in two, I’ll ruin everyone’s else’s day for fun
Bloodline: My sex demon co-worker makes my job harder than it needs to be (in space)
Inferno: Damning a man’s soul to Hell for being a terrible person for fun and profit
Hellseeker: Since I don’t want to become a sex demon, I’ll commit 1st-degree murder instead
Deader: Committing suicide is a bit complicated in Romania
Hellworld: What happens when you use a sex demon’s image to kill people and it doesn’t go quite as you expect.
Revelations: Making deals with sex demons in Mexico
Judgement: When fucking around and finding out in God’s presence goes wrong
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so you're trying to tell me that dazai- "suicide song"- osamu didn't have marina as his top artist on spotify even once. are you hearing yourself.
#no seriously#marina has songs that are so fucked and are the epitome of mental illness#esp from family jewels and electra heart#(and most probably more but those two albums are what i listen to religiously)#all her lyrics are so openly concerning. like. there's no flowery metaphor or subtlety#it's an open call for help#but all the songs are catchy as fuck. upbeat. something that doesn't make you think hey. this is sad as hell#sounds like someone you know?#“maybe it is all a test/ cause I feel like I'm the worst/ so i act like i'm the best.”#"I know exactly what I want and who I want to be/I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine/I'm now becoming my self-fulfilled proph#“it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die”#i can keep going all day#bsd#dazai osamu
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been thinking a lot about my royai kid ideas lately but i don't think a lot of people will like them because i don't name the kid after maes lol
#and also I focus more on riza's traumatic upbringing rather than only addressing roy being sad about maes#also it's 03royai usually#crystal convos#i have my own personal bias against the idea of their baby being named after maes#in part because i dont think the wound will ever be healed enough for roy to be able to not associate it w the pain of losing his friend#i also cannot explain just how much the idea of naming my own child directly after my dead sister makes me want to die so. pure projection#i think my problem with a lot of royai kid stuff is that riza has an explicitly traumatic childhood in her background and no one explores i#because they're so focused on roy struggling with feeling like he can never measure up to hughes--which is fine but WHAT ABOUT RIZA#One aspect abt Riza's trauma that I explore with my royai kid stuff is the theme of alchemist fathers and their children they abuse/neglect#Riza herself; Nina Tucker; the Elrics... And now she is having an alchemist's child
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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#You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better Starting from#zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me myself I got nothing to prove You got a fast car I got a plan to get us outta here I#been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into#the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living See my old man's got a problem He live with the bottle#that's the way it is He says his body's too old for working His body's too young to look like his My mama went off and left him She wanted#more from life than he could give I said somebody's got to take care of him So I quit school and that's what I did You got a fast car Is it#fast enough so we can fly away? We gotta make a decision Leave tonight or live and die this way So I remember when we were driving#driving in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder#And I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car We go cruising#entertain ourselves You still ain't got a job And I work in the market as a checkout girl I know things will get better You'll find work and#I'll get promoted We'll move out of the shelter Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs So I remember when we were driving driving in#your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I-I had#a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car I got a job that pays all our bills#You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids I'd always hoped for better Thought maybe together#you and me'd find it I got no plans I ain't going nowhere Take your fast car and keep on driving So I remember when we were driving driving#in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And#I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car Is it fast enough so you can#fly away?You gotta make a decisionLeave tonight or live and die this way#le song shouting
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Sally's apology to John really struck me as a raw, meaningful parent-to-child apology. She didn't dumb anything down, she didn't lie to soften anything, she claimed all of her actions... he was so young, and Sally reacted to his age not by talking down to him, but by finding a way to describe the whole truth so he could understand
Most importantly I think is how she kept saying that John is a good person. Like...she thought she was about to die. And she didn't spend that time asking John for forgiveness or to remember her in a good light. She dedicated her words to making John feel loved. She spent that precious time giving him something to make sense of it all, to heal somewhere down the line even when she's not there
#HHHHHHUHHHHHHHHHH#i know that Sally & John's interactions at the college indicate a bunch of fucked-up-edness#ie him saying 'i love you' & her not hearing it. her asking him for reassurance#but i see the apology scene & her concern for him after the shooting#as evidence that she's going to give him SOMETHING good as his mother.#call me what u want but i have faith in them.#She's not perfect and they've got SOOOO much shit to live with. the both of them.#but amongst all of her motivations there is a genuine desire to see her son safe & happy#and i'm crossing my heart & hoping to die that -- now that Barry's not there -- that love for John comes through. and that he feels it.#the fact that they had an easy conversation outsite the theater; there was no indication Sally is using substances; John is sober;#and that John has friends.... I'm choosing to take these as indicators that -- despite the genuine problems that Are there --#John & Sally are reasonably healthy and so is their relationship.#oh god. this show. takes a fucking Lot out of me#barry hbo#sally reed#john berkman#barry finale#barry meta#pyra speaks
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#I'm not sober so forgive me for ranting about this it's your fault for reading my tags anyway lol but anyway#it's so frustrating how hard it is to relate to people in a culturally Christian society where everyone feels like#they fundamentally Deserve divine paradise by nature and were screwed out of it by past generations' sins and Wanting Things is actually#is a normal and good state of mind that will inevitably unequivocally be resolved if not in an explicitly religiously rapturous sense#then in like a 'reform/revolution well bring us to utopia' sense#and the notion that not being given that is a Problem With Existence™ to be Solved#never realizing that wanting things in an existence that can and will never grant them all is the problem you need to accept can't and won't#ever be solved#and idk the nature of tag syntax is that my train of thought has long since derailed but I'm tired of having conversations invariably lead#lead to like 'sure i get where you're coming from from a Higher Logical Ideology but i could never fundamentally accept it'#about shit that i don't don't as higher logical endpoints but start with as fundamental premises#like i don't be like '... ... ... and so death is inevitable' but rather 'death is the inseparable shadow of life and so ... ...'#but i can't have a fucking conversation without walking on the eggshells of them being like sO mE aNd OuR fRiEnDs DeSeRvE tO dIE?????'#as if anyone deserving anything for better or for worse is anything but a red herring that derails from what we're actually getting#and id fucking k y'all the suns coming up and i took an extra shift today and my brain is soup if this is bad then again ig u should'nt've#read my tags lmao so yeah good night
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aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh
#everhoneignore this post classic rant post i don't have real problems everyone can move along#truly have had such a bad couple of days here and i am not even close to finishing the assignments i need to finish in welding being in#clsss makes me want to quit and die i don't know why i'm so slow i don't know why everyone else can intuit this stuff and improve and#understand how to do it and im always always falling behind if i could try harder wouldn't i be able to do that ive got no drive to push#myself at all i guess i like the english and i can do the physics i thought i at least liked drafting and metals fabrication but i feel so#stupid everything i do makes me feel so stupid and my teacher talks to me like i'm always doing everything wrong when i do some classroom#ettiquette breaches that everyone else does too and i can't get myself to go to sleep on time can't get myself to go in early i have hours#and hours and hours and i blink and it's gone and i've done nothing i should've welded today and gone in early to draft but i didn't because#im stupid and im slow and i can't do anything right i have always been able to square away a little bit of pride on being precise on doing#things well because people are always telling me that i am but i am below average here i just can't do things right and i feel like everyone#hates me and thinks i'm obnoxious and i don't know how to interface with my class or my teacher or how to improve or how to be less anxious#and i feel even stupider for that because i am so stuck up not being able to deal with even a little bit of failure or issue or hardship#and everyone around me is sick all my classmates and people in my dorm are sick im sure it's covid they haven't said it's covid but none of#them would test and i've been wearing a mask again but im certainly been exposed to it already and no one else is wearing a mask anyway so#what difference does it even make and i can hear them coughing in my dorm and in the classroom and when i go to get food and i miss seeing#my friends from philly and everuthing will be terrible forever and ever#alex talks
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I dunno why it's taken me this long to clock all the npmd mentions you've done that weren't even subtle girl(gender neutral) it's been weeks and it just did not enter my brain until now
Anyway
Do you have a Favourite lord in black and/or a Favourite nerd? (Mine are tinky and grace <3<3)
So I first saw this very early in the morning, and I very much misread it as you realizing that I was a girl (gender neutral), which I do think is very very funny anshdhdjf
I am also chuckling at the idea of me very obviously saying ‘Gee I sure do love Starkid’ and you just standing there like 🤔
Hi hello!!!! I do indeed love Starkid, and while npmd isn’t my faaaaaavorite of the hachetfield trilogy, (that honor goes to Black Friday, ily Black Friday), I do love the music and the characters, it’s definitely the most well produced in terms of its music. Very very cool
Ooooo the lord in black question is very difficult…..appearance-wise I’m gonna have to say Nibbly or Blinky. I really like eye motifs and eye imagery, so it’s a natural match.
As for Nibbly, he’s my favorite token™️ lord in black, for the costume and the aesthetic. Love him.
As for overall favorite, I’d have to go with Wiggly, surprisingly. This definitely has to do with my love of Black Friday, but he’s still my favorite overall villain from the trilogy, Jon Matteson’s voice acting is absolutely stellar, and his plush design is so so cool. I made little felt pins of the lord in blacks for Christmas for my friends, and wiggly actually turned out my favorite, he looked so cool. Maybe someday I’ll post some pictures of them lol.
GRACE CHASITY 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
She’s SO fucking me fr, that’s just how I am, I love her from the depths of my heart, she’s utterly unhinged <333333
I hope to god that someday I can play her in a show, I’d do SO well. Alto Queens unite!!!!!
Angela’s line read of ‘so you do know the Bible’ has me under lock and KEY, she’s SO mental
As an asexual I’d marry her ily Grace Chasity you will forEVER be famous. Dirty Girl is iconic 😌😌
I’m not really active in the Starkid fandom bc cats obv, but also they scare me like a lot. And don’t seem that friendly 😰 one of them blocked me for my opinion on Ted that I apologized for later, and I agonized over it for a week before realizing that it literally wasn’t my fault lmaooo.
Also I do have some opinions that prolly wouldn’t go over well in there, (I had a lot of feelings about workin’ boys lol)
That being said, going through the tags on the Twisted vs Cats poll is my favorite pastime. It’s so fucking funny to me. The girls are fightinngggggg
#asks!!!!!!!#tbh I do feel like a girl (gender neutral) a lot lol#I have a weird relationship with gender that’s hard for me to explain and also I don’t want to explain it#what if I get canceled/delusional#the fastest way to explain it is call me a girl in a Gerard Way/Joan of Arc fashion#my pronouns are I me myself and everything else is ur problem#ANYHOW I’m actually being Nibbly for Halloween :3#I think most of my friend group is going as lords in black#and since I’m the only girl™️ in the group imma be nibbly :D#I aDORE quoting max’s line just before dirty girl#I love…Jesus 😄✝️!!!! but I also love….to FUCK’#ahajsbdhhsh it’s just so funny#it’s also super out of character for me as a well known asexual#I love doing that shit it’s so funny#now I know what I look like in ur mind I keep picturing that little me explaining this like an animated intro lolll#what else do I even tag this?#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#that seems fine#don’t mind me guys
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love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too
#i had been thinking about moving to a smaller one too. but now she's ordering me to do that#and expects me to move back home#when my university and all of my two friends are in the city.#and i have TWO WEEKS to live here if she wants me to move before summer because i have to go back home anyway in early may#for my summer job.#like sure i wouldve understood like a hey. my child. your financial situation is oretty tough so i have some suggestions that could help#but she was like okay here's whay you do: option a) [something i couldnt do before fall] b) find a cheaper apartment and live in two weeks#c) move home for good and commute over an hour any day you have university stuff to do and also essentially lose access to your#friends and all and any independence you have managed to cobble together so i can treat you like a child and yeall at you#the last part wasnt included but it's what she does anyways so i assume it's part of the deal#then i would have to commute or drive an hour any time i wanted to see either of my friends. after every summer im already#tired and desperate to come back to my apartment to get to be on my own. and now she's saying i have to never do that again#and here's the fuckin thing. her husband is planning on fixing my car. my mom pays my phone bill. i know what a loser i am whatever.#she actually owns my dogs and my childhood home. i cannot. piss her ofd too much. because then i'll lose all of those#phone. whatever i can get a new one. car. slightly more heartbrwakin but like i still own it. but the house?#my dogs?? i think i would rather die atm if im being honest#so what the fuck am i supposed to do. huh.#maybe i should just walk into the sea foe good i feel like that would just so neatly solve all of my problems
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i love my friend so much but i don't like being a third wheel anymore i don't think
#just like. i was a third wheel all the time for a year and then their partner moved out.#but that means that its more pronounced when one of their partners is visiting#the the boyf stayed for the first time this weekend and ive not known how to exist really. physical affection feels off limits#but my friend is fine with it so has continued but it feels really awkward to have them be sitting in their boyfs lap while holding my hand#idk idk i think its because i basically have 1 person who im able to be physically close to#its then a bummer when theyre here but feel far away. on account of the presence of Some Guy.#sometimes i worry that im in love with my friend because several people have asked me if i am but i dont think i am#like i love him and we understand each other deeply but like. in terms of wanting to go on dates or have sex im like. no not at all.#but also recently ive been feeling like that about a lot of people. where i want to be close to them. but i cant tell if i want to have sex#with them. like fully how do you know?#i think my problem is that i would just die for my friends.#and people dont understand that bond ig
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so so so fucking tired of people who perceive working in an office as the only “”real”” jobs
#the equivocation of ‘’professional’’ to ‘’white collar’’#the way people treat those schedules as ‘’the normal one’’ when there’s millions of people working outside those#me every weekend for the past seven months: i only have sunday off#my friends every time we want to hang out: can we do saturday instead uwu#and just the disparaging attitude ‘’business culture ‘’ has towards literally any job#tbqh i would rather die than work in marketing and that is. from what i can tell. most of the jobs available#in an office setting#idk maybe this is my outside opinion but a lot of those jobs feel superfluous or like. making their own problems to solve#like that post about the leftist commune where everyone was like ‘i can do admin and project management’’. how is that useful#it just feels very much like the american ideal of ‘if you work very hard you can be a self made millionaire’#is a lot more prevalent among that class#and like i know it’s also a matter of ‘i make more than you so i’m more important. skill issue’#but idk i just have the perception that i’m ‘’supposed to’’ go into a field i have no interest in and i’m Doing Something Wrong#and making my life unnecessarily hard on myself. because i have no interest in it#rant paused bc i’m gonna be late to work if i keep going lol#mine
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