#“i've made some real big mistakes/but you make the worst ones look fine” say it louder for the bitches in the back

[fourquartertoast]

valkyries as GUTS songs!!

(tw: eating disorders – allusion in post, mention in tags)

lily is vampire and all-american bitch

(and every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news/you called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called them crazy too)

(and I am built like a mother and a total machine/I feel for your every little issue/I know just what you mean/and I make light of the darkness/I've got sun in my motherfucking pocket, best believe)

mary is ballad of a homeschooled girl and girl i've always been

(everything I do is tragic/every guy I like is gay/the morning after I panic/"oh God, what did I say?!")

(well, I have captors I call friends/I got panic rooms inside my head/and I get down with crooked men/but I am the girl I've always been)

marlene is lacy and pretty isn't pretty

(smart sexy lacy, I'm losing it lately/I feel your compliments like bullets on skin/dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate/well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?)

(and I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy/I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life/and none of it matters, and none of it ends/you just feel like shit over and over again)

[berryz-writes]

Better than cupcakes

Azriel x reader

Summary: Azriel is your mate and you don't know it. Your also a baker which makes things more complicated. Not to mention Eris liking you as well. Will you realise Azriel likes you just as much as you do him?

I also really want cupcakes rn. Ignore any mistakes or feel free to tell me. ily all. MWUAH💕 i just want azriel. why can't he be real

I piped another cupcake, the dark purple icing coming out perfectly. I put it to the side and before I could start on another one Cassian walked in a big smile on his face. I didn't hear the bell because of how concentrated I was on trying to get these almost perfect, otherwise I would have locked the door before he could have come in.

"It smells delicious in here. Any failed testers you want me to finish?"

He came up to the counter and sat down on a stool eyeing up my creations "I was wondering when the garbage disposal would arrive" I muttered before pointing to a tray to the side where a few uneven and ugly looking cupcakes sat. He merely grinned back and reached for one, taking a bite.

"Just as good as I expected" He said rolling his eyes dramatically. I smiled and nodded my head "I know...but you say that to everything. I need someone proper to test them"

Cassian frowned, tucking in his wings and reached for another cupcake to demolish "You should take my opinions seriously you know. I'm actually a professional chef at home"

I raised an eyebrow "Making tea for Nesta once in a while doesn't count" His smile dropped and he went into some sort of deep thinking.

"Azriel's waiting outside. Should I get him to try some?"

I nodded "Why's he waiting outside? Tell him to come in" Cassian nodded his head, taking another cupcake on his way out. I iced a few more before he came grumbling back.

"He won't come in. Says he needs to leave and doesn't have time for cupcakes"

I frowned "He'll have time for cupcakes if i tell him to! Where is he?" I put down the icing bag and grabbed a cupcake. Cassian pointed to the door "Just outside the door"

Before I left I narrowed my eyes "Don't think I haven't counted how many there are"

He gave me a mischievous grin before I walked out the café and found Azriel securing his daggers in place. A sign he was about to set off into the sky.

"Azriel!" I shouted, quickly walking and slightly skipping over to him. He turned around his hand covering his eyes so he could block the sun, shading his eyes.

"Yes?"

I lifted up my cupcake and smiled "I made cupcakes and I need someone to try them"

He raised an eyebrow "Wasn't Cassian in there just a few moments ago?"

I sighed "Yes but he's Cassian. He eats anything. I need someone who'll give me proper feedback"

Azriel thought about it, his eyes raking over my hopeful expression. "Fine" He muttered, taking the cupcake. He nodded toward something behind me "What's that?" I turned around and found nothing of interest.

"What's what?" I asked turning back round. He shook his head "Nothing" He muttered, chewing slowly before swallowing.

"How was it? Too sweet? I think you had too much icing in that bite, maybe try some more?" I asked, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

"It's....interesting" He finally said. My smile dropped "Really? Was it that bad? What should I change? I knew it was too sweet. Or was it something else?"

Azriel shook his head slowly "It was one of the worst things I've had in a while"

My slight despair turned into shock.

My mouth dropped open "WHAT? Are you being serious right now? You don't even know the basics for cooking don't come to me with the bullshit of it being the worst thing you've ever had, honestly-"

His hand covered my mouth before I could carry on anymore. The warm press of his hand on my lips making me stop immediately. His lips were turned up into a small smile "You wanted the feedback y/n. Can't take it anymore?"

I crossed my arms and waited for him to let me speak. He didn't, merely moving closer to me and looking down at me with those warm hazel eyes. I opened my mouth and bit into his hand so he'd move away which surprisingly he did. I smiled with triumph until I remembered what he had previously said.

I narrowed my eyes "You aren't trying any more of my treats again"

"Whatever will I do?" He replied sarcastically, a small smirk on his gorgeous face. I clenched my teeth together, lost for words and wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.

"Go away" I finally mustered. I cringed internally, that was the worst thing I could have thought of. He looked at me instead of replying, his hazel eyes glowing amber in the sun light.

"Do you really think I was being serious?" He finally said, moving closer to me so there was only an inch's space between us. I crossed my arms waiting for another sarcastic comment or for him to joke but he didn't.

"Yes?" I replied, unsure of the answer myself.

He let out a sigh and shook his head "Really, y/n. Your cooking is just as gorgeous as you. The cupcake was delicious"

I wish I had a more sensible response but when was I ever known for my maturity?

"Really?" I was grinning and trying to ignore the part where had called me gorgeous otherwise I would be in deep shit.

He nodded his head, a small smile on his face too. Gods he was so pretty. And his lips...I shook my thoughts away and gave him a quick hug. He smelt like wind and smoke and deliciousness. And honestly? I wanted to keep hugging him forever. But that wasn't possible.

I stepped out his embrace "Thanks for the feedback Az. I should get going"

Azriel nodded his head "...you should" He looked at me with such an intense gaze that I just wanted to melt into the ground, not to mention the sun beating down on us making me even hotter. He finally turned away and winnowed into the darkness so I could no longer see him. If I hadn't been such a dumbass and blindly in love I would have known he hadn't tried the cupcake at all.

I placed the last tray on the table and looked at my creations.

"They look absolutely divine" Feyre said coming over to look at the cupcakes. I had iced them with dark purple icing and sprinkled small stars on top. I felt like they matched the star fall theme perfectly.

"Thank you. I probably would have more if Cassian didn't keep eating them" I said, looking over at him. He was holding out his hand and convincing Nesta to dance with him. I assumed she wanted to save her feet because we all knew when Cassian was even the slightest bit drunk he was a hazard to be next to.

"Y/n? I think someone wants your attention" Rhys said making his way over to me and Feyre. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was talking about. He dipped his chin, gesturing behind me and I saw Eris, a glass of wine in his hand and talking to Lucien.

"So he decided to show up?" I asked. He had been invited for the past few years or so after having built stronger ties with the night court and his younger brother but I had never seen him actually accept.

"He decided to show up so he could see you" Feyre replied, giving me a small wink. I let out a sigh. I hoped she was joking. I liked Eris. I really did. But as a friend. Someone I could laugh with and spend time with. I was hoping Feyre was wrong but whenever she played love match, she was always right.

I made my way over to Eris who raised his glass "Finally made your way over here?" He asked.

I shrugged "Your bright red hair is hard to find in a crowd like this" I teased. His smile grew slightly "Your looking radiant today. The dress suits you"

I accepted the compliment "Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself"

He rolled his eyes "I never look bad. That's not a word in my dictionary"

I let out a laugh at his dramatics. "We should plan to meet up sometime. We're friends after all" It pained me to add the last sentence but I had to. I wasn't going to let him think there was something between us when there wasn't. It wouldn't be fair. His warm amber eyes turned slightly cooler.

"We should. Your a good friend y/n" His smile was still there but it seemed slightly put on. A slight façade.

Before I could reply however a shadow brushed at my shoulder making me pause and shiver at it's sudden coldness. I turned around my eyes seeking out Az but I couldn't find him. Really these shadows had a mind of their own. Another one had joined at this point and they were gently circling my wrist and pulling me toward the house.

"I have to go but I'll be back. Don't have too much fun without me" I called to Eris. He shook his head and gave me a small smile "I would never".

I followed the shadows until we reached the balcony. Azriel was stood looking out into the gardens and at everyone partying the night away. His wings were tucked in and I didn't notice as the shadows left me to join him.

I cleared my throat to announce my presence but he didn't turn around.

"Why aren't you down there?" He asked. I moved toward him and stood near the railing.

"Your shadows brought me here. Plus I'm tired anyway" I replied. I wasn't that tired but I wasn't going to miss the chance to talk to Azriel. Not to mention the view was always best from here.

"They like to meddle" He muttered back. At this his shadows disappeared completely as if annoyed with him. I bit back a smile and continued looking at the night sky and everyone under it, sneaking glances toward Azriel.

"Did you try the lemonade?" I asked, breaking the silence between us. He nodded his head "It was nice. Helped stop the wine making it's way into my system too quickly"

I nodded "I was going to get some more...do you want a glass?". Azriel turned to me and tilted his head slightly, his arms resting on the balcony railing.

"If you wouldn't mind"

I made my back downstairs and grabbed two glasses of lemonade which were fizzing slightly, trying not to knock into Mor as she danced like....well like a lunatic.

"Here" I passed Azriel the glass and he thanked me. Instead of turning back to the view he looked at me instead. His stare made me slightly nervous which is why a small laugh escaped me "What?" He put the lemonade to the side.

"You look so goddamn beautiful tonight" His words were quiet but I still heard them. A warm blush made it's way onto my cheeks.

"Thank you" I replied looking anywhere but at him. He moved closer to me, his silent movements slowly backing me up against a wall with no escape. I held my breath as his thumb gently moved over my lips.

"I want to rip this dress of you. I want to do a lot of things. Do you know what they all have in common?" His eyes had darkened, as his hand moved to my throat, loosely holding me in place.

I shook my head slowly, all capability of speaking having left my mind after he had me against a wall, a hand gripped around my throat.

"All those things include you" He whispered. I felt a shiver run down my spine at his voice so close to me, his fingers moving over my pulse.

"So what's stopping you?" I finally asked, hoping for my sake this wasn't just a joke and he genuinely wanted me. His lips turned up into a small smile "Nothing"

He leaned in and captured my lips in a sweet kiss, making me melt into him completely. His hands moved to my waist as he pinned me against the wall, his chest against mine. Gods he tasted divine. Better than any cupcake.

We broke apart, my breathing heavy after being in heaven for the past minute. I looked at Azriel and when I did a small tug, a small piece of happiness filled me. As if the fae I were looking at now was the reason I felt complete. My eyes widened in realisation "Your my...mate" I whispered.

Azriel's eyes closed and he took a deep breath "I know, love" I stood frozen for a second. He did? How long did he know? I shook my thoughts away. Did it matter? I had found out now and I wanted him whether he was or wasn't.

I leaned in to kiss him once more to show him exactly how much I wanted him, his hand resting on my hips. I never wanted to leave his arms again.

MASTERLIST

[ariscats]

Jameson analyzes part 2: Traumas (or a very long rant against Emily Laughin, who I cant be bother to learn how to spell her last name)

“Cause I've made some real big mistakes/ But you make the worst one look fine/ I should've known it was strange/ You only come out at night/ I used to think I was smart/ But you made me look so naive/ The way you sold me for parts/ As you sunk your teeth into me, oh/ Bloodsucker, famefucker/ Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire”

So there is this girl, who comes at his house every summer and has a heart diesse. She cant live so everyone has to do whatever she asks to make it up for it. Then one day she gets a surgery and now she gets to live, and who is her ticket to living? Jameson and Grayson.

Emily is his first kiss. However, 3 seconds after SHE KISSES HIS BROTHER WHO HE ALREADY INSECURE ABOUT BECAUSE OF HIS F. GRANDFATHER. And you have to be pretty dumd to not realize that what emily really wanted in the scene is Grayson to kiss her and she just used Jameson because she could (I still can’t believe that Emily did “loved” Gray more than Jameson).

Then she moves to his city and goes to his school. And, as far as a bitch she is, she must have been rl something because she became the most popular girl at school.

(Now, this is where things get tricky. I’m going to use the version fo what I believe happened. If you have another version you can picture like that)

Then they start dating. They borh want to live and do things because they can rather because they should. She got her golden ticket to freedom and he got the attention he’s been craving his whole life. They do everything together because she wants more and he wants more and nothing is never enough for them. So Jameson takes her to do everything they have the right to because Jameson is, at te end of the day, a good boyfriend.

But, its still not enough for Emily. Because she goes after fucking Grayson AND HE DOES THE SAME TING AS JAMESON BECAUSE THEY ARE THE OPOSITE SIDE OF THE SAME COIN.

Then they start fighting. Best friends for their whole life, but they slowly start to hate each other because fucking Emily turned everything INTO A GAME, MAKING LOVE A GAME THE SAME WAY TJEIR FAMILY HAS BEEN TRAUMATAZING THEM THEIR WHOLE LIFES. AND SHE KEEPS A FUCKING SCORE OF WHO HAS MORE POINTS, BY VOICE RECORDING.

Then one beautifull day Rebecca decides that betrayl by both ends doesnt hurts and tells Jameson about the scores and sends him the audio Emily made.

Jameson Hawthorne had to listen the girl he ruined his life for for over a year sumarize him and his love as some points. He breaks up with her, and she decides to go after Grayson. And then she jumps. But he is also there, because love and family are never that simple and jameson is a tiny bit (read in the level of therapy) of a masochist. And then SHE BLINKS AND LAUGHS AT HIM AND WHEN HE FINALLY MANAGES TO GO AWAY SHE START HAVING HEART PROBLEMS. BUT SHE HAS PLAYED HIM SO MUCH THAT HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT REALITY IS ANYMORE, and she hadnt had any heart problems for the past 4 years. So he leaves and she dies, and hell breakes lose.

He lost a girl he has know his whole life. He just “learned” that his love arent worth more than some points, he just got out of a increadibly toxic relasionship that ruined his life. The healthy thing would have been if he had some safe space to talk about what Emily did to him and have a strong support system. But everyone he knows is muroning her. They see her as an angle, so everything she did to him goes under the traps because how do you even dare to say something about dear angle Emily. And he has to live with the fact that he belives he killed her. And he cant also talk about anyone about that, for obvious reasons (but his grandfather knows and uses that against him).

Remember what I said about him being a masochist? Now is the era of his great self destruction (with an almost suicide attempt there, that his grandfather was present again and used that agaisnt him, *again*). Its all buttom up in him and he feels angry and sad and nothing. And between these 3, he chose anger. Also, Thea blames the Hawthorne for a death they didnt cause because who dares to say something bad about angles emily? So she puts the whole school agaisnt him and makes school unberable to him. Everyone likes to joke about Jameson missing school but has anyone ever wondered why he hated there so much? He didnt skiped class because he was a rebel 😝🤘but because everyone f. hated him and made his life hell.

[igotthisaccountunderduress]

it's so nice when you didn't realize you were freaked out and now you're calm. like, i didn't feel bad before and i didn't even know i was that tense but i feel ten times better now. anyway I survived another chemistry lab so here's the batkids as Olivia Rodrigo songs:

Babs - the grudge

I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May One phone call from you and my entire world was changed

Dick - hope ur ok

Address the letters to the holes in my butterfly wings Nothing's forever, nothing is as good as it seems

Jason - vampire

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should've known it was strange You only come out at night

Tim - logical

'Cause if rain don't pour and sun don't shine Then changing you is possible No, love is never logical

Steph - pretty isn't pretty

And I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy I chased some dumb ideal my entire life And none of it matters and none of it ends You just feel like shit over and over again

Cass - ballad of a homeschooled girl

Cat got my tongue And I don't think I get along with anyone Blood running cold I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke

Damian - enough for you

And you always say I'm never satisfied But I don't think that's true 'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you

Duke - teenage dream

And when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough? When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs? And when are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad? Will I spend all the rest of my years wishin' I could go back?

[fullstcp]

"GUTS" by Olivia Rodrigo Sentence Starters

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH

"I pay attention to things that most people ignore."

"I am built like a mother and a total machine."

"I feel for your every little issue."

"I know just what you mean."

"I make light of the darkness."

"I've got sun in my motherfucking pocket, best believe."

"I forgive and I forget."

"I know my age and I act like it."

"Got what you can't resist."

"I got class and integrity just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear."

"I'm a perfect all-American bitch."

"I know my place."

"I know my place and this is it."

"I don't get angry when I'm pissed."

"I'm the eternal optimist."

"I'm grateful all the fucking time."

"I'm sexy and I'm kind."

"I'm pretty when I cry."

BAD IDEA RIGHT?

"Haven't heard from you in a couple of months."

"I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up."

"You're calling my phone, you're all alone, and I'm sensing some undertones."

"I know we're done, I know we're through."

"But, God, when I look at you."

"I can't hear my thoughts."

"I should probably not."

"Seeing you tonight, it's a bad idea right?"

"I know that he's/she's/they're my ex, but can't two people reconnect."

"I only see him/her/them as a friend."

"Biggest lie I ever said."

"I just tripped and fell into his/her/their bed."

"I know I should stop, but I can't."

"I told my friends I was asleep, but I never said where or in whose sheets."

VAMPIRE

"Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now."

"How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?"

"Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise."

"I loved you truly."

"You gotta laugh at the stupidity."

"I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine."

"I should've known it was strange."

"I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naive."

"Everyone I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news."

"You called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called 'em crazy too."

"You're so convincing."

"How do you lie without flinching?"

"What a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill."

"Can't figure out just how you do it and God knows I never will."

"You said it was true love."

"You can't love anyone cause that would mean you had a heart."

"I tried to help you out, now I know that I can't."

"How you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand."

LACY

"Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?"

"Did I ever tell you that I'm not doing well?"

"I see you everywhere."

"The sweetest torture one could bear."

"I feel your compliments like bullets on skin."

"Well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?"

"It's like you're made of angel dust."

"It's like you're out to get me."

"You poison every little thing that I do."

"I just loathe you lately."

"I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you."

"I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you."

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOLED GIRL

"I don't think I get along with anyone."

"I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke."

"I hate all my clothes."

"Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones."

"So I guess I should go."

"The party's done, and I'm no fun, I know."

"I told secrets I shouldn't tell."

"I stumbled over all my words."

"I made it weird, I made it worse."

"I laughed at the wrong time."

"Everything I do is tragic."

"Oh, God, what did I say?"

"Thought your mom was your wife."

MAKING THE BED

"Want it, so I got it."

"Another thing I ruined I used to do for fun."

"I thought it, so I said it."

"I took it cause I can."

"Another day pretending I'm older than I am."

"Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine."

"Another thing I forced to be a sign."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am."

"Every good thing has turned into something I dread."

"I'm playing the victim so well in my head."

"It's me who's been making the bed."

"I tell someone I love them just as a distraction."

"They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction."

"They're changing my machinery, and I just let it happen."

"I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined."

LOGICAL

"God, you're so good at what you do."

"I'd put myself through hell for you."

"I couldn't get out if I tried."

"You convinced me it was all in my mind."

"Love is never logical."

"Why do I do this?"

"I look so stupid."

"I know I'm half responsible."

"I know I could've stopped it all."

"Why didn't I stop it all?"

GET HIM BACK!

"I met a guy/girl in the summer, and I left him/her/them in the spring."

"He/she/they argued with me about everything."

"He/she/they had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye."

"I miss him/her/them some nights when I'm feeling depressed."

"Do I love him/her/them?"

"Do I hate him/her/them?"

"I wanna get him/her/them back."

"I wanna make him/her/them really jealous, wanna make him/her/them feel bad."

"I want sweet revenge."

"I want him/her/them again."

"Everyone knew all of the shit that he'd/she'd/they'd do."

"I wanna key his/her/their car."

"I wanna break his/her/their heart then be the one to stitch it up."

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING

"I told my friends you were the one."

"I stayed in bed for, like, a week when you said space was what you need."

"Waited by my phone like a goddamn fool."

"Now it don't mean a thing."

"God, love's fucking embarrassing."

"And I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's/ex-boyfriend's new guy/girl."

"My God, how could I be so stupid?"

"You found a new version of me and I damn near started World War III."

"Jesus, what was I even doing?"

"I give up everything."

"I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything."

"I'm planning out my wedding with someone I'm never marrying."

"I'm giving up."

"But I keep coming back for more."

THE GRUDGE

"One phone call from you and my entire world was changed."

"Took everything that I loved and crushed it between your fingers."

"I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did."

"I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it."

"My undying love, now, I hold it like a grudge."

"I hear your voice every time I that I think I'm not enough."

"And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream."

"How could anybody do the things you did so easily?"

"And I say I don't care, I say I'm fine."

"But you know I can't let it go."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong."

"I'm so tough when I'm alone, and I make you feel so guilty."

"I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry."

"I try to understand why you would do all this to me."

"You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy."

"We both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal."

"Do you think I deserved it all?"

"You built me up to watch me fall."

"You have everything, and you still want more."

"I try to be mean."

"Even after all this, you're still everything to me."

"And I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet."

PRETTY ISN'T PRETTY

"There's always something missing."

"There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong."

"When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"

"You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war."

"You fix the things you hated, and you'd still feel so insecure."

"I try to ignore it, but it's everything I see."

"It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys/girls I bring to bed."

"It's all around, it's all the time, I don't know why I even try."

"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life."

"None of it matters, and none of it ends."

"You just feel like shit over and over again."

"It'll never change."

TEENAGE DREAM

"When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?"

"When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?"

"When will it stop being cool to be quietly understood?"

"Happy birthday to me."

"Got your whole life ahead of you."

"I fear that they already got the best parts of me."

"And when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?"

"When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?"

"When are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?"

"Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?"

"They all say that it gets better, but what if I don't?"

OBSESSED

"If I told you how much I think about her/him/them, you'd think I was in love."

"And I know you loved her/him/them, and I know I'm butthurt. But I can't help it."

"I'm so obsessed with your ex."

"I'm staring at her/him/them like I wanna get hurt."

"The life of every fucking party."

"And I know you love me, and I know it's crazy."

"Every time you call my name, I think you mistake me for her/him/them."

SCARED OF MY GUITAR

"Perfect, easy, so good to me."

"Why's there a pit in my stomach in the shape of you?"

"Maybe I'm just overwhelmed."

"Maybe I'm confused."

"Barely sleep when you sleep next to me."

"I keep thinking I'll find a cure."

"I say that I'm fine."

"I've never felt so happy and so sure."

"It cuts right through to the heart."

"He/she/they know(s) me too well so I got no excuse."

"I can't lie to him/her/them the say way that I lie to you."

"Once you let the thought in, then it's already done."

"I'll lay in your arms and pretend that it's love."

"I'm not half as decent as you."

"I'd rather be tied to someone, even if they're wrong."

"I'm not as alright as I claim."

"What if I never find anything better?"

"So we'll stay together?"

"How could I ever trade something that's good for what's right?"

"I lay in your arms and pretend it's enough."

STRANGER

"I hadn't felt that hopeful since the day that you left."

"Everybody told me it would happen in time."

"I always believed that it was some comforting lie."

"I was half myself without you and now I feel so complete."

"I can't even remember what made me lose all that sleep."

"I cried a million rivers for you, but that's over now."

"You're just a stranger I know everything about."

"I hope you're happy, babe, you know I really do."

"God knows that I am the girl/guy I am because of you."

"You know I'll always think of you."

"I'll love you 'til the end of time."

"You're the best thing that I'll ever keep so far out of my life."

"I loved you mad, but it doesn't matter anymore."

"If I'm not enough for you, you're not enough for me."

"I fought a million battles, but you can't get to me now."

GIRL I'VE ALWAYS BEEN

"You say I'm cruel beyond my years."

"I have captors I call friends."

"I got panic rooms inside my head."

"I get down with crooked men/women."

"I got wrapped up in the game again."

"You woke up in an empty bed."

"I can't say I'm a perfect ten."

"Don't say that I've been acting different."

"I'm nothing if not consistent."

"You knew everything you'd be getting."

"I told you right from the beginning."

"Now you're on my case."

"You never dreamed I'd be so cold."

"Then, with venom on your tongue you ask me who I have become."

"I'm a candle in the wind."

"I'll turn you out, I'll turn you in."

SO AMERICAN

"He/she/they say(s) I'm pretty wearing his/her/their clothes."

"He's/she's/they're like a poem I wish I wrote."

"It's just not fair of him/her/them to make me feel this much."

"I'd go anywhere he/she/they go(es)."

"If he/she/they keep(s) this shit up, I might just be in love."

"I'm so boring and I'm so rude."

"Can't have a conversation if it's not all about you."

"I really love my bed, but, man, it's hard to sleep when he's/she's/they're with me."

"I apologize if it's just a little too much."

"I don't wanna assume this stuff."

"But ain't it wrong?"

"I think I'm in love."

"Oh God, I'm gonna marry him/her/them if he/she/they keep(s) this shit up."

[intomusings]

﹒﹒  guts   sentence   starters    !

my  brain  goes  ahhh  !  guts by olivia rodrigo just dropped and it's been on repeat  in my household .  olivia rodrigo  can do no wrong in my opinion and i  realized  that  the  lyrics  make  for  some  perfect  sentence  starters  —  so  under  the  cut  you’ll  find  a  bunch  of  heart  wrenching  and angsty one  liners  .  if  u  found  this  useful  ,  feel  free  to  like  or  reblog  to  boost  this  .

﹒﹒  all - american bitch  :

" i feel for your every little issue , i know just what you mean .. "

" you know me , i forgive and i forget .. "

" i got what you can't resist "

" i know my place and this is it "

﹒﹒  bad idea right?  :

" haven't heard from you in a couple of months .. "

" i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up "

" i know we're done , i know we're through but god when i look at you .. "

" seeing you tonight , it's a bad idea , right ?

" i know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect ? "

" i only see him as a friend .. "

" i know i should stop but i can't . "

" i'm sure i've seen much hotter men but i really can't remember when "

﹒﹒  vampire  :

" i loved you truly "

" i've made some real big mistakes but you make the worst one look fine "

" i used to think i was smart but you made me look so naive "

" every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad news "

" you called them crazy god i hate the way i called them crazy too ! "

" you're so convincing , how do you lie without flinching ? "

" can't figure out how you do it and god knows i never will "

" you said it was true love .. "

" you can't love anyone cause that would mean you had a heart "

" i tried to help you out , now i know that i can't . "

" how you think is the kind of thing i'll never understand "

﹒﹒  lacy  :

" did i ever tell you i'm not doing well ? "

" i see you everywhere .. "

" i'm losing it lately . "

" well aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist ? "

" my stomach's all in knots "

" you got the one thing that i want "

" it's like you're made of angel dust "

" it's like you're out to get me "

" you poison every little thing that i do "

" i just loathe you lately "

﹒﹒  ballad of a homeschooled girl  :

" i don't think i get along with anyone .. "

" i guess i should go .. "

" i told secrets i shouldn't tell . "

" i made it weird , i made it worse . "

" oh god , what did i say ? "

﹒﹒  making the bed  :

" i thought it so i said it "

" sometimes i feel like i don't wanna be where i am "

" i'm so tired of being the girl that i am "

" i'm playing the victim so well in my head "

" i got the things i wanted , it's just not what i imagined "

﹒﹒  logical  :

" god , you're so good at what you do . "

" i'd put myself through hell for you "

" hear all the rumors lately that you always denied "

" you convinced me , it was all in my mind "

" changing you is possible .. "

" i'm sure that girl is really your friend "

" our problems are all solvable "

" why do i do this ? "

" i know i'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible "

" i know i could've stopped it all .. "

﹒﹒  get him back!  :

" i met a guy in the summer .. "

" i wanna get him back "

" i wanna make him really jealous "

" i really miss him and it makes me real sad "

" i miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh "

" i am my fathers daughter so maybe i could fix him "

" i wanna key his car "

" i wanna break his heart "

﹒﹒  love is embarrassing  :

" i told my friends you were the one "

" you said space was what you need "

" i waited by my phone like a goddamn fool "

" i consoled you while you cried .. "

" how could i be so stupid ? "

" you found a new version of me "

" i give up everything "

﹒﹒  the grudge :

" one phone call from you and my entire world was changed "

" you took everything i loved and crushed it between your fingers "

" i doubt you ever think about the damage that you did "

" i hear your voice every time i think i'm not enough "

" how could anybody do the things you did so easily ? "

" i say i don't care , i say i'm fine but you know i can't let it go . "

" i fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry "

" i try to understand why you would do this all to me "

" do you think i deserved it all ? "

" you have everything and you still want more "

" but even after all this , you're still everything to me "

" i know you don't care "

﹒﹒  pretty isn't pretty  :

" there's always something missing "

" i don't know why i even try "

﹒﹒  teenage dream  :

" it gets better , but what if i don't ? "

[artemivsa]

𝐆𝐔𝐓𝐒 (𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐎) 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.

sentence starters taken from olivia rodrigo's new album guts (2023). change pronouns as you see fit. 

all-american bitch.

❛ i am light as a feather. ❜

❛ i'm as stiff as a board. ❜

❛ i pay attention to things that most people ignore. ❜

❛ i'm alright with the movies that make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty, that's for sure. ❜

❛ i feel for your every little issue, i know just what you mean. ❜

❛ i make light of the darkness. ❜

❛ i forgive and forget. ❜

❛ i know my age and i act like it. ❜

❛ got what you can't resist. ❜

❛ i got class and integrity just like a goddamn kennedy, i swear. ❜

❛ i'm a perfect all-american bitch. ❜

❛ i know my place and this is it. ❜

❛ i don't get angry when i'm pissed. ❜

❛ i'm an eternal optimist. ❜

❛ i'm grateful all the time. ❜

❛ i'm sexy and i'm kind. ❜

❛ i'm pretty when i cry. ❜

bad idea, right?

❛ haven't heard from you in a couple of months. ❜

❛ i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up. ❜

❛ you're calling my phone and you're all alone, i'm sensing some undertone. ❜

❛ i know we're done, i know we're through, but god, when i look at you. ❜

❛ i cannot hear my thoughts. ❜

❛ seeing you tonight, it's a bad idea, right? ❜

❛ fuck it, it's fine. ❜

❛ yes i know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect? ❜

❛ i only see him as a friend. ❜

❛ the biggest lie i ever said. ❜

❛ i just tripped and fell into his bed. ❜

❛ i know i should stop, but i can't. ❜

❛ i told my friends i was sleep but i never said where or in whose sheets. ❜

❛ i'm sure i've seen much hotter men, but i really can't remember when. ❜

vampire.

❛ hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now. ❜

❛ how's the castle built on people you pretend to care about? ❜

❛ just what you wanted. look at you, cool guy, you got it. ❜

❛ i loved you truly, you gotta laugh at the stupidity. ❜

❛ i've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine. ❜

❛ i should've known it was strange you only come out at night. ❜

❛ i used to think i was smart but you made me look so naive. ❜

❛ every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news. ❜

❛ you're so convincing, how do you lie without flinching? ❜

❛ you said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? you can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart. ❜

❛ i tried to help you out, now i know that i can't, 'cause how you think's the kind of thing i'll never understand. ❜

lacy.

❛ aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell? ❜

❛ did i ever tell you that i'm not doing well? ❜

❛ i linger all the time, watching, hidden in plain sight. ❜

❛ i see you everywhere, the sweetest torture one could bear. ❜

❛ i'm losing it lately. ❜

❛ i feel your compliments like bullets on skin. ❜

❛ well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist? ❜

❛ my stomach's all in knots. ❜

❛ you got the one thing that i want. ❜

❛ it's like you're made of angel dust. ❜

❛ you poison every little thing that i do. ❜

❛ i despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you. ❜

❛ i despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you. ❜

ballad of a homeschooled girl.

❛ cat got my tongue. ❜

❛ i don't think i get along with anyone. ❜

❛ i'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke. ❜

❛ i guess i should go, the party's done and i'm no fun, i know. ❜

❛ i told secrets i shouldn't tell. ❜

❛ i stumbled all over my words, i made it weird, i made it worse. ❜

❛ each time i step outside, it's social suicide. ❜

❛ it's social suicide. ❜

❛ searching 'how to start a conversation?' on a website. ❜

❛ i talked to this hot guy, swore i was his type. ❜

❛ everything i do is tragic. ❜

❛ oh god, what did i say? ❜

❛ don't let me out at night. ❜

making the bed.

❛ want it, so i got. did it, so it's done. ❜

❛ another conversation with nothing good to say. ❜

❛ i thought it, so i said it. ❜

❛ another day pretending i'm older than i am. ❜

❛ sometimes i feel like i don't wanna be where i am. ❜

❛ push away all the people who know me the best. ❜

❛ it's me who's been making the bed. ❜

❛ every good thing has turned into something i dread. ❜

❛ i'm playing the victim so well in my head. ❜

❛ they tell me that they love me like i'm some tourist attraction. ❜

❛ i got the things i wanted, it's just not what i imagined. ❜

logical.

❛ god, you're so good at what you do. ❜

❛ i'd put myself through hell for you. ❜

❛ hear all the rumors lately, that you always denied. ❜

❛ you convinced me, baby, it was all in my mind. ❜

❛ now you got me thinking two plus two equals five, and i'm the love of your life. ❜

❛ love is never logical. ❜

❛ you built a giant castle with walls so high i couldn't see. ❜

❛ i'm sure that girl is really your friend. ❜

❛ said i was too young, i was too soft. ❜

❛ i know i'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible. ❜

❛ i could've stopped it all. god, why didn't i stop it all? ❜

get him back!

❛ i met a guy in the summer and i left him in the spring. ❜

❛ he said he's 6'2 and i'm like, dude, nice try. ❜

❛ i miss him some nights. ❜

❛ do i love him? do i hate him? i guess it's up and down. ❜

❛ i wanna get him back, i wanna make him real jealous, wanna make him feel bad. ❜

❛ i really miss him and it makes me real sad. ❜

❛ i want sweet revenge and i want him again. ❜

❛ i miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh. ❜

❛ i wanna kiss his face with an uppercut. ❜

❛ i wanna meet his mom just to tell her her son sucks. ❜

❛ i'm gonna get him so good, he's not even gonna know what hit him. ❜

love is embarrassing.

❛ i told my friends you were the one after i'd known you, like, a month. ❜

❛ god, love's fucking embarrassing. ❜

❛ i consoled you while you cried over you ex-girlfriend's new guy. ❜

❛ my god, how could i be so stupid? ❜

❛ i give up everything. ❜

❛ i placed my bets and it's not worth anything. ❜

❛ i'm planning out my wedding with some guy i'm never marrying. ❜

the grudge.

❛ one phone call from you and my entire world was changed. ❜

❛ took everything i loved and crushed it in between your fingers. ❜

❛ i doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but i hold on to every detail like my life depends on it. ❜

❛ my undying love, now, i hold it like a grudge. ❜

❛ i hear your voice every time i think i'm not enough. ❜

❛ i try to be tough, but i wanna scream. ❜

❛ how could anyone do the things you did so easily? ❜

❛ it takes strength to forgive, but i don't feel strong. ❜

❛ i try to understand why you would do this all to me. ❜

❛ do you think i deserved it all? ❜

❛ you built me up to watch me fall. ❜

❛ you have everything and you still want more. ❜

[fiorella-a]

Karasuno boys as... "Vampire" song lyrics!

(+ Short scenarios)

Info:

-future! Karasuno boys x gn! Reader

-No Tanaka, he's married after all 🤷🏻‍♀️

-toxic relationship

-cursing

-slight angst (i guess)

Daichi:

"I loved you truly

Gotta laugh at the stupidity"

"I should've known it was strange

You only come out at night"

>> You always found it weird that Daichi would go out around midnight or almost midnight, I'm talking about 10, 11 or 12PM and then come back an hour and a half later. God you hate yourself for falling into his trap when he assures you saying, "It's required for me to patrol around the area" or "you know I'm a police officer, babe" and due to your sincere love for him, you always did understand his responsibilities.

Although you can't help but notice that every time he comes back, he smells and looks.. fresh? Like he had just taken a shower and re-used his clothes.

Maybe he did take a shower with a girl he was giving an after care for. Maybe he was patrolling the area of his girl's apartment. But you can't do anything, you don't have enough evidence.

Sugawara:

"Cause I've made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look fine"

"You're so convincing

How do you lie without flinching?"

>> Sugawara gave you an extra key to his class just in case he locks the door and you wanted to visit him. Your relative, who goes to the school that he teaches, called you and told you how amazing his day was, you found it weird that Sugawara isn't home yet. "That's awesome, buddy! But I gotta go, alright? I'll call later on, bye-bye!"

Once you hung up, you drove as fast as you can to the school and came into his classroom without warning.

You saw a woman sitting on Suga's desk, while he has his right arm wrapped around her waist. The woman could only eye you up and down before turning to yell at Suga, "I thought you told them? Gosh Suga! We've been over this for what? A thousand time?!" The said woman jumped out of his grasp, pushed you aside and walked out while slamming the door behind her.

He scoffs at you before opening the door and chasing after the woman.

He left you, huh? Of course he did.

Asahi:

"Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire"

>> Being an apparel designer and someone who used to get nervous all the time, Asahi gets insecure about the things that he has or had created. He always yearns for your compliment and your opinion both for him and his designs.

And God did it drain you, always saying "you did a great job today, pretty boy" "look at this! One thing missing and after that, it'll be all perfect!" You acted more like his worker rather than his partner, to be honest.

Nishinoya:

"Ooh, what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked-up little thrill

Can't figure out just how you do it, and God knows I never will"

>> Nishinoya takes you with him every time he goes travelling, he winks at you before saying, "It's my treat, love"

After a long day, you both headed onto a nearby hotel before resuming your adventures for tomorrow. The room was spacious, the balcony had the best view and you were busy day dreaming while Noya went into the hotel lobby to fetch you both some food and when he came back, he surprised you with your favorite meal!

You're so easy to distract that you missed the kiss mark on his temple and his neck.

Kageyama:

"The way you sold me for parts

As you sunk your teeth into me, oh

Bloodsucker, famefucker

Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire"

>> Kageyama kept your relationship very lowkey, he didn't wanna make you overwhelmed by the amount of fans and paparazzi that's on his back, but his team does know you.

When Kageyama is fast asleep, you grab his phone and tries to find one of his teammate's number and luckily, you did!

2:09 AM:

"Hi! Kageyama's girlfriend here, I got your number off of his phone. Can you please help me set up a party for him? Thank you and it's no biggie if you decline."

5:31 AM

"Hey, you have a different number? Gosh [random name] you didn't tell me sooner."

"I'm sorry you must've misunderstood, It's actually Y/n!"

"Oh, Y/n? Aren't you his one night stand? Please stop messaging me, i'm uncomfortable knowing Tobio has a girlfriend and you're trying to earn his attention. Thank you for the efforts of reaching out for me."

He kept you a secret because all they know is you were nothing but a fling to him.

Hinata:

"How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?"

>> When Hinata got home from practice, he could tell that you were tired and he asked about your day, "Nothing much, just stressful customers always making a scene, you know?" You laugh at your words while Hinata looked into your eyes, "That's sad." He coughs "anyways my day was more stressful than yours, I–"

You spaced out while his rambling started.

Did he even put himself into your shoes?

Tsukishima:

"I used to think I was smart

But you made me look so naive"

"And every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

You called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called them crazy too"

>> Tsukishima has you wrapped around his fingers and he knows it. He made you so dependent on him that he knows you can't even go on a day without telling him stories. Gosh he loves the way you're so easy to manipulate! you could've lent in some time for the girls to explain themselves but no, you took his words.

What a fool.

Yamaguchi:

"Went for me, and not her

'Cause girls your age know better"

>> Yamaguchi likes someone from his class, but when you confessed to him, he can't help but accept it out of pity. And Yamaguchi successfully shaped you into his crush. Making you trim your hair, dress in a different aesthetic and even changing the way you talk, just for him. And gosh when you saw the way he looked at the person he liked, you noticed something similar about them.

Everything. You're like that person's mirror.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo (Part I)

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH

I pay attention to things that most people ignore.

I'm alright with the movies that make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty, that's for sure.

I am built like a mother and a total machine.

I feel for your every little issue.

I make light of the darkness.

I've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket.

I forgive, and I forget.

I know my age, and I act like it.

I got class and integrity.

I'm a perfect all-American bitch.

I know my place, and this is it.

I don't get angry when I'm pissed.

I'm the eternal optimist. I scream inside to deal with it.

Oh my fucking god.

I'm grateful all the time.

I'm sexy, and I'm kind.

I'm pretty when I cry.

BAD IDEA RIGHT?

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months.

I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up.

I'm sensing some undertone.

I'm right here with all my friends.

You're sending me your new address?

I know we're done.

I know we're through

God, when I look at you...

I should probably not.

It's a bad idea, right?

Fuck it, it's fine.

Yes, I know that he's my ex.

Can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend.

The biggest lie I ever said.

I just tripped and fell into his bed.

I know I should stop, but I can't.

I told my friends I was asleep.

I never said where or in whose sheets.

I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, but I really can't remember when.

VAMPIRE

How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

Just what you wanted.

Look at you, cool guy, you got it.

I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes.

Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise.

I loved you truly.

You gotta laugh at the stupidity.

I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine.

I should've known it was strange.

I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naive.

You sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me.

Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad news.

God, I hate the way I called them crazy too.

You're so convincing

How do you lie without flinching?

Can't figure out just how you do it and god knows I never will.

Went for me and not her 'cause girls your age know better.

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?

You can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart.

I tried to help you out.

How you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand.

LACY

Skin like puff pastry.

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

Did I ever tell you that I’m not doin' well?

Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time.

It takes over my life.

I see you everywhere.

The sweetest torture one could bear.

I'm losin’ it lately.

I feel your compliments likе bullets on skin.

Aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots.

You got the one thing that I want.

It's like you're made of angel dust.

It's like you're out to get me.

You poison every little thing that I do

I just loathe you lately.

I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you.

I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOL GIRL

I don't think I get along with anyone.

I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke.

Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones.

So I guess I should go...

The party's done, and I'm no fun.

I told secrets I shouldn't tell.

I stumbled over all my words.

I made it weird.

I made it worse.

Each time I step outside, it's social suicide.

I laughed at the wrong time.

I talkеd to this hot guy, swore I was his type.

Guess that he was makin' out with boys, like, the whole night.

Everything I do is tragic.

Every guy I like is gay.

Oh, god, what did I say?

I'm shocked I'm still alive.

MAKING THE BED

Want it, so I got it.

Another thing I ruined I used to do for fun.

I thought it, so I said it.

Another day pretending I'm older than I am.

Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine.

Another thing I forced to be a sign.

Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am.

Push away all the people who know me the best.

It's me who's been makin' the bed.

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am.

Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread.

I'm playin' the victim so well in my head.

I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control.

I tell someone I love them just as a distraction.

They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction.

They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen.

I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined.

Counting all of the beautiful things I regret.

[broadway-feferi]

S)(aring an old song from way back w)(en we were still in t)(e game… Fun fact, a lamprey is a parasitic fis)(, not an eel!

(Lyrics)

Hate to give the satisfaction, asking how you’re doing now

How’s the castle you built off of friends you killed and just tore down?

Just what you wanted?

Look at you, wizard, you got it

I see our chatlogs, broken diamonds every time I close my eyes

Six sweeps as moirails ends in broken hearts and souls and straight up lies

Trusted you truly

Gotta laugh at my stupidity 

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look fine

I should've known it was strange

You made me drained all the time

I used to think I was smart

You made me look so naive

The way you took up my time and all of my energy

Fun sucker, fame fucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn lamprey

And all this time that Ive known you all your plots were bad, bad news

Doomsday devices such a surprise they never worked for you, you fool

You’re so dramatic

A hemospectrum fanatic

Oh, what a shame you had to be arrogant up to your gills

Can’t figure out just how you do it, and Glub knows I never will

Said we’re meant to be together

Well, frankly I say never

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look fine

I should've known it was strange

You made me drained all the time

I used to think I was smart

You made me look so naive

The way you took up my time and all of my energy

Fun sucker, fame fucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn lamprey

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?

You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart

I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't

'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look tame

I should've known it was strange

You pulled away after the game

I used to think I was smart

But you made me look so naive

The way you tore us all down, blasted a hole into me

Hope crusher, fame fucker

Leave me to die like a goddamn lamprey

[creationcitystreet-em]

Olivia Rodrigo Songs with my OCs

I'm too obsessed with GUTS so here's this

Camila Ruíz

About her relationship with her parents: enough for you, the grudge

Key lyrics:

Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded? Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?

You always say I'm never satisfied, but I don't think that's true. You say I'm never satisfied, but that's not me, it's you. 'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough, but I don't think anything could ever be enough for you

And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it. My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge. And I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough

And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream, How could anybody do the things you did so easily?

It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong

You built me up to watch me fall, you have everything and you still want more

Even after all this, you're still everything to me. And I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine, But you know I can't let it go. I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long

Mia Canales

About her relationship with her ex: 1 step forward 3 steps back, vampire, logical

Key lyrics:

You got me fucked up in the head, boy. Never doubted myself so much. Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy? I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

'Cause it's always one step forward and three steps back, I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine

I used to think I was smart but you made me look so naive

Went for me, and not her, 'cause girls your age know better

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart

And now you got me thinking two plus two equals five and I'm the love of your life

You built a giant castle with walls so high, I couldn't see the way it all unraveled and all the things you did to me. You lied, you lied, you lied

Cause lovin' you is lovin' every argument you held over my head, Brought up the girls you could have instead. Said I was too young, I was too soft, can't take a joke, can't get you off

[inkskinned]

okay :)

i had gotten a dog, so the dog was a factor. dogs have to be the right size and shape. under 50 pounds. please see our restricted breeds list. he sleeps most of the time, a well-behaved menace. he's big because i'm single in the city and it gets dark here early - but i've had to trade that sense of safety for scrambling-for-housing.

cheerfully i report that i live in a hole! because humor, like vicks, soothes what-is-horrible. the windows are painted shut. the fridge sometimes just shuts off for no reason. there are only 2 working stove burners and they're not in the front. for some reason, rust is everywhere, no matter whether it makes sense for an area to rust. the door in the bathroom has a very badly-patched hole; white-yellow stark against the bad cherry vinyl.

okay. it's what i can afford. the pamphlet had said new england nepenthes(TM) apartments: a beautiful place to grow up. and yes, it's ground-floor, which isn't ideal. so we (my dog and i) have successfully secured the door with one of those big prybars that are 50 dollars. also i usually balance something heavy near any possible entrances - i want to be awake when they fall. you know, during the break-in.

for the first four months, i didn't notice. there had been so much to do in those four months. okay, our (okay, my, he doesn't pay rent) kitchen is literally four tiles wide and undivided from the other spaces. the dining room and office are also the living room (which is. also the kitchen). my bed is too big for the bedroom; i can either have it weirdly against the wall with a door (horrible) or i have to give up opening my closet all the way.

my mama raised me on martha stewart, so. it's quiet here, i love the location, and even if it's rundown, i can make it work. i buy peel-and-stick reusable wallpaper that has long lines to make it look like everything is taller. i move the plants around, trying to get them into the most sun. i put up shelves and hope that i'll have enough spackle later to cover up the worst mistakes i've made with the nail gun. and hey! the location. like the pamphlet said: a beautiful place to grow up.

it's in the middle of putting up our new wrought iron plant holders. i have adhd, time when i'm focused can pass ephemerally. oh shit, i realize. it's 9:30 in the evening. i am probably keeping people awake with all the drilling. fuck. my bad. i tilt an ear upstairs, waiting. nobody slamming the floor with a broom. nobody shouting. maybe quiet hours are at 10 and they're just waiting.

the holders are real wrought iron because my plants weigh a lot. i press the last one above my head, against the pilot holes. now i feel bad about the time. i should just wrap up this last one i'm attaching and then go to bed. if i wait, i'll forget in the morning. distracted, i look down to where i've left the screws on my desk (which is often also my dining room table and art station), and, as if the wall spat the screws out, the iron slips out of my grasp and cracks me hard against my nose before tumbling down to the floor.

fuck.

one of the worst things about living alone is when you get hurt. sparks jump in front of me. my eyes start tearing. fuck! i've broken my nose before, this feels like that. fuck fuck fuck. maybe it's not broken?

i have to hobble off the stool, trying to hold my nose while also not wanting to touch it. i do the first adult thing i can think of - call a bigger adult.

hey mama. i pant into the phone. no worries but how do i know if i broke my nose?

30 minutes later, we have decided it hurt but if i don't have a black eye, the nose is fine. it was already out of alignment anyway. i say the whole sordid story to her, and then i add i just feel bad i lost track of time, it's weird none of my neighbors complained.

as soon as i hang up, i hear the upstairs neighbors, with their quiet feet and soft, muffled voices. i hear people to the right and left of me. i hear them murmuring to each other. someone watches bad tv, i can hear the reality show music-to-dramatic-shouting.

i put ice on my face. i google nose break again just to be sure. i ask my dog if he thinks i look ugly, he responds by putting his three paws into the air and asking for a tummy rub. as part of our nightly ritual, i examine and worry about his amputation, even though it's completely healed up. i still do the physical therapy exercises with him. just in case. just to keep him warmed up.

later in bed, i am reaching to turn on gentle rain for white noise before i realize - huh. i think this evening is the first time i've ever actually heard anyone.

you ever have a thought that gets inside of you? i mean, yeah. of course you do, i guess all thoughts are inside you. but once in a while, don't you get one of those haha funny! thoughts that turns. bad. you know, when you've watched a scary movie and close the laptop and think it's not likely there's a killer in there, but have i ever really checked that deeply in the kitchen sink?

i was always the type to check. just in case. to put my mind at ease.

the thought is there when i wake up, like i'd had it for a while: i never actually see anyone coming and going.

the apartment complex is 12 buildings, staggered like spokes on a clock. i live in 6, the furthest from the road. we are spaced unevenly, but when i first saw it, i thought huh. what a nice quiet community. the grass is green and there are never any leaves. i've never seen someone come mow it. there are cars here, plenty. when was the last time you counted which cars are in the communal lot?

isn't it weird how you're always able to snag that one last spot?

i keep weird hours, is all. i laugh at the thought of it. there was a post on tumblr once that asked how long would it take you to realize the building was entirely empty. but it can't be empty, right? at night, when i can see into other people's apartments, i catch sight of the thousand ways other people decorate. blue LED lights or tapestries or nice curtains. so it is silly to think about that post, when i know other people are here. this is someone else's home.

i mention it to my sister when she comes over to help me move the couch purposelessly around before we both decide it was better where i'd originally had it. nobody, like, lives here. i say. it's weird. i've been here for five months, and i don't see anyone.

she shrugs. maybe it's too expensive for the area, or not really advertised enough. maybe most people my age keeping my hours don't like to live in apartments. who is to say.

after that, the shadows start. my dog and i go on our nighttime walk, and then i see the apartments come to life. the flickered silhouettes of them. the flash of tvs and laptops. the gauzy shape of others just-far-enough i can't quite make out their form. they walk away from the windows if i get close enough.

they must not know how to do it right. every third day, the animations repeat.

oh, i get it. i think. i'm living in a horror novel.

i'm cuban. my culture can be superstitious, yes. but it also means that i have been taught to keep my head on a swivel. we do not fuck with this shit. we do not oujia board the spirits for fun. we do not make a joke about the killer. we do not ever tempt fate, her ears are open-and-listening.

my lease is for one year. it's been five months, that's not that much longer. i can't afford to break it (or to move) at the moment. and, again, the dog factor. and i do love the location.

but once it is obvious, it is so obvious. i try to pay my rent by check just the once, but when i swing by the rental office, the whole floor of the building is dark. there is no cheerful team of realtors, only a single dark panel over door. due to unexpected circumstances, we are currently operating elsewhere. i go online and pay there instead.

no one here hosts parties. the mail truck never seems to come to any of the other buildings. my dog doesn't like going near certain places. i discover a 5-foot radius where my phone will always hang up on the person i'm talking with, even if i have service.

i watch carefully, while also pretending i am not watching. i check my mail, waiting for the electricity bill that never comes calling. in the front hall, amazon packages come with names too smudged for me to ever quite read. sanchez, maybe. then, to the same apartment a week later: tawny reed. it's different again the third week. i stop looking, feeling like i'm prying.

i mention how quiet it is here during the day to one of my bosses, and then the upstairs neighbor appears. her alarm goes off when mine does, almost like an echo. when i change my song, it takes her a few days to keep up. i had said something offhand about how i'm the only one with a dog. then, upstairs - the little patter of dog paws.

at night, i start seeing people on my dog walking route. they pace, insubstantial, something black at the end of their lead. their waving arms always bent at right angles, like they are figuring out how to navigate being 3D. i always wave back, cheerfully. i keep my headphones in. they are over there in the mist that-does-not-belong, and i am over here in the light-that-flickers-on-and-off. i do not need to make a scene about this. there are many reasons people might dissolve into nothing. it is not any of my business.

the upstairs girl smokes. i see her with her (pomeranian? poodle?) little rat-rabbit-dog (? dog in the loosest sense of the word), her legs up on the stoop. she always goes inside when i show up to our building, after giving me one of those straight side-to-side waves. i can never quite make out her features. she won't be there when i leave for our walk, but she'll be there when we get back, no matter how long my walk takes. she watching me, her eyes dark. she sits there, smoking, wearing galaxy-print leggings. the little dog running near her. (sometimes the dog is not there, until i look again, and it is. i must have just missed it, or maybe it was hiding under one of the trim little bushes. not my concern, whatever it is.)

i know she smokes, i can see the red glow and smell it on the air after. but there are no places to dispose of the butts and she never leaves behind any litter. so she must be careful with them, which i appreciate. cigarettes are bad for the environment. i am in no place to judge someone for their vices anyway. during the day, sometimes i hear her dog (a corgi? a terrier?) whine, this thin, reedy sound, like someone gasping for breath. like someone buried alive. a howl like dread. sometimes it even sounds human; garbled and anxious, bow wow wow warping into help help help.

but i'm sure my dog whines when i'm gone, too. i will not report her for this, because it's not her fault. and i don't want to get her in trouble. after all, we all love our dogs so much.

when i write a request for maintenance to help me with ants, i get a bounce-back error. three days later, we wake up, and a sea of dead ant bodies litter my carpet. an inch deep, they float on each other's backs, a black blanket.

i vacuum them up. i feel bad about their little ant souls. i tell them i am sorry. i will light a candle. i tell myself - this is no different than calling an exterminator. to remove yourself from the process is an act of careful self-duplicity - we would have been killing the ants another way, and just anticipating someone else handle the transaction.

how do i call someone about this? i cannot break the lease because i think the others here are ghosts. or my other theory: maybe the whole thing is a carnivore, and i am in the belly, already beginning to rot.

we cannot afford to move, it's only been six months. the heat and the lights stay on. i never invite others over. it feels wrong. we are alone here, the way we should be alone here. this is our place, for me and my dog and the rest of us. we are supposed to be here. we are supposed to live here, in this little hole-in-the-ground apartment.

we are not under any form of threat, anyway. i light candles and say the prayers our father taught us. we keep our distance from the mist ones, and adopt their way of waving, side-to-side. it is starting to look less like a wave and more like beckoning. come on, come on. something keeps us locking our door. we put up more wrought iron, even after it hit us so hard-on-the-face, which wasn't fun, and was very mean. maybe we should take it down - except i know it was so much effort to put up. oh the tub leaks and the freezer has begin to lock while it's shut. our boss says we look pale these days. we blame insomnia. it's just that it's so quiet here, sometimes. we like to make ourselves go very-quiet too, like a mouse. and then we turn that horrible white-noise machine on. we are so strange; we push salt down the drains and into our doorways, which is a waste and a bad thing to do. we do not look into the electricity problem. we fix the lightbulb without complaint. we do not send in new notices to maintenance, even when the rust on the walls starts running. we get fabulosa and scrub everything. we do not make a fuss. when our neighbors that have-no-jaw open the door for us, we keep our eyes on our dog and say thank you! and make polite small-talk. when they garble their responses let your welcome out, (no throat but the sound's so loud?)-we say haha yeah and scoot by the cold spot. we help others get their groceries out of the car even though the bags smell rotten. we do not use the basement laundry room with the single pale yellow lightbulb, even though it is so friendly and warm and free; we drive elsewhere for that, which might be lazy of me. whenever we leave, we take our dog, even though he would be fine alone, surrounded by the strange creep of rust. we are kind, and not frenzied. isn't that strange? shouldn't we be frenzied? there have been so many odd things here, shouldn't we be reacting? instead we sit in our apartment and say, casually - oh, i'm fine. how fun! how interesting. are we waiting for something? if we're waiting, which of us is hiding and which of us is hunting? we count our days on the lease - six months left! we can grow to enjoy it here. it has its quirks, but hey. sometimes staying for the location is reason-enough.

and we love it here. it's a beautiful place to grow up.

i've seen enough horror movies starring upper-middle-income white families stuck in spacious haunted mansions. gimme stories about millennials stuck in haunted studio apartments. consider the realism:

why is this protagonist staying in an obviously haunted building despite the glaring warning signs? because a week at a motel would send them spiraling into credit card debt, they'll take their chances with the vengeful spirits. why did they chose this apartment complex to begin with, despite the many many unexplained mysterious deaths that show up on the first page of a google search? hon some of us don't have the credit score to move away from high (paranormal) crime areas. how could i be so careless as to sign a soul-binding contract with a demonic entity? bitch they're called LANDLORDS

[kierancampire]

I just found out about Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo, and damn

"Hate to give the satisfaction, asking how you're doing now. How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about? Just what you wanted, look at you, cool guy, you got it. I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes", that is how I feel sometimes, any time I talk/think about him, it's like giving him the satisfaction that he's with me forever. There were happy and good times, and sometimes I do think of them and sometimes, in a way, I even miss them, but then I think of everything else. I feel like he's building a story and a life off his experiences, and just not being completely transparent about those experiences, and I wonder if I'm another part of that stage he's building

"Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise", I was with Nathan for 6 months, so that stuck out immediately

"Cause I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine", I feel like getting with him was one of the worst things I did, and his trauma is the worst for me, which really is saying something considered

"I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naive", after going through homelessness twice and everything else I had gone through in life, I did think of myself as above others and more intelligent/aware, but then yeah

"The way you sold me for parts, as you sunk your teeth into me", I just kinda related that to him using my body for pleasure whenever he wanted it, and also on a literal sense, he used to constantly give me love bites on my neck

"And every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news. You called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called them crazy too. You're so convincing, how do you lie without flinching?", when I was with Nathan, he told me about/showed me his exes, and he spoke so poorly on all of them, painted them awfully, said super bad things about them, shared bad things about them. But I believed what he said, and I insulted them along with him, but now I have no idea how many were victims like me, and how many he lied about. Also, he lied about how much he wanted to be with me, he lied about wanting to leave me, he lied about things being okay, he lied about breaking up with me, he lied to have sex with me, he lied about so much and fooled me on all of it

"You can't love anyone, cause that would mean you had a heart. I tried to help you out, now I know that I can't, cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand", I feel like a lot of that is self-explanatory

[coolstorysister]

lyric starters 14

I need to tell you everything before it's too late.

I don't regret a single day.

You're so beautiful.

I saw you through the window.

I'll always have the memories of our life together.

I felt you with me.

You'll always be my girl.

I need it now!

I can't wait till tomorrow.

I loved you truly.

Gotta laugh at the stupidity.

I've made some real big mistakes

I've made some real big mistakes but you make the worst one look fine.

I should've known it was strange.

I used to think I was smart.

You made me look so naive.

You're so convincing.

How do you lie without flinching?

You said it was true love.

But wouldn't that be hard?

You can't love anyone because that would mean you had a heart.

I tried to help you out.

I know that I can't.

Hold your breath and count to ten.

Promise me it's not the end.

I feel it in my bones.

There's no coming back.

How did I become so heartless?

Have mercy on me.

This is my last chance to make it out alive.

There's blood on my hands.

There's no catharsis.

I've become so heartless.

No pain without sacrifice.

There's pieces of me only you know.

You know I love you.

Feels like yesterday...

I just wanna thank you for being my friend for life.

You know the distance never made a difference to me.

You know I'm good on my own.

I am now an instrument of violence.

I cannot leave this undecided.

Surrender now or be counted with the endless masses that I will defeat.

Come on, bring it.

Are you ready?

Your entire world will turn into a battlefield tonight.

I can't be told to compromise this.

They will speak my name for eternity.

I have no need of any guidance.

I am a weapon powerful beyond belief.

You can't hide now.

So decide now how they will remember you.

I could never turn away.

I can't believe that this is really happening.

Desperation drives me insane!

Will I ever love again?

What's the point of anything?

It takes a toll.

This is where the fun begins.

The silence drives me insane.

I cannot feel anything.

You're never ever wrong.

Let me fight!

Don't even bother to explain.

You'll never win this time.

Well, it's plain to see that you have lost your damn mind.

How could you let it end up this way?

Is there really nothing more you can say?

I'm not taking another fucking dose of your denial today.

I'm not willing to deal with someone who insists they can never be wrong.

If you shut your mouth, then we just might make it.

You wanna fight me?

Be careful what you're wishing for.

There is no coming back this time.

I'm ready to fight.

Is it all that you were hoping for?

Do it again.

The boy I love's got another girl.

I don't have an apartment.

I'm still at the start.

I'm contagious.

It'd be safest if you ran.

That's what they all just end up doing in the end.

Take my arm, break it in half.

Say something!

Do it soon!

It's too quiet in this room.

I need noise.

I don't have an agenda.

All I do is pretend to be okay.

next is Achilles Come Down

[jellogram]

When ur ex texts you "Hey what's up?" and all you wanna say that I hate to give the satisfaction ask you how you're doing now how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about just what you wanted look at you cool guy you got it I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes six months of torture that you sold as some forbidden paradise I loved you truly gotta laugh at the stupidity cuz I've made some real big mistakes but you make the worst ones look fine I should have known it was strange you only come out at night I used to think I was smart but you made me look so naive the way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me ooOOAAh oh bloodsucker famefucker bleeding me dry like a goddam vampire

[oh-my-damn]

Vampire

I've gotten (more than) a few requests to break these lyrics down for the past few weeks

I finally got around to listening to it

And let me just say.......

Let's fucking do this.

I know nothing about her private life so this is all guesswork and speculation based off her lyrics.

Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo

Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you’re doing now How’s the castle built off people you pretend to care about? Just what you wanted

She is going IN right off the bat. It's giving Taylor in her Fearless era.

Look at you, cool guy, you got it I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise I loved you truly You gotta laugh at the stupidity

This guy absolutely ruined her. Maybe took away what she considered her innocence. Thats what torture is alluding to.

‘Cause I’ve made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should’ve known it was strange You only come out at night

This is a guy who legit will text "you up?" at 2am

Maybe he only "had time" after midnight even. I've been there. They make you think its real but theyre just busy – but in truth theyre using you.

I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naïve

She believed what he was selling.

The way you sold me for parts As you sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, famef—er Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire

Okay, yep. He was absolutely using her.

And every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news You called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called them crazy too You’re so convincing

This is always a red flag. If they call their exes crazy it means something happened to make them crazy. She realizes now.

How do you lie without flinching? (How do you lie? How do you lie? How do you lie?) Oh, what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, f—ed up little thrill Can’t figure out just how you do it and God knows I never will Went for me and not her ‘Cause girls your age know better

OOOOOOF. Calling him OUT. He's clearly older (I suspected so) and used her. Men will be shitty men. Isn't that the saying? In my book it is.

I’ve made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should’ve known it was strange You only come out at night I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naïve The way you sold me for parts As you sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, famef—er Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire

Same lines as earlier. What was said earlier still applies. He used her for everything she was worth and practically "left her for dead" – sometimes thats what it feels like when they just use you for your body/money/fame etc. You're suddenly a vessel and no longer a person.

You said it was true love, but wouldn’t that be hard? You can’t love anyone, ’cause that would mean you had a heart I tried to help you out, now I know that I can’t ‘Cause how you think’s the kind of thing I’ll never understand

Oh he played the "victim" card. Some guys do. We never know who is sincere about it until we get hurt. He used that card on her to get sympathy.

I’ve made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should’ve known it was strange You only come out at night I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naïve The way you sold me for parts As you sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, famef—er Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire

He made himself seem like the victim when he is to be blamed for everything that happened to him. He said his exes were bad or crazy, but he made them that way. He used her for everything she is. He didn't care – ever.