#“i promised not to fight anymore if we survived the great war”

[apricusapollo]

and what if i say the great war is codywan coded??

and what if I say that you need to stop because I cannot keep on living like this.

[festivalsofmargot]

hi!!!! i love your writing style, it’s so beautiful! when you have the time, could i request Ominis x reader where they have a really bad fight and Ominis says something really mean like totally out of pocket to where their relationship is cracking so he has to win her forgiveness and love back 😭 i love angst it hurts me so good

The 3 Boys & The Hogwarts Champion

{Garreth Weasley/Ominis Gaunt/Sebastian Sallow x GN!Reader}

Introduction: The TriWizard Tournament was a tournament that promised glory, but also a tournament with a death toll so high, just surviving it would be the accomplishment of a lifetime. Your significant other had begged you not to put your name in the Goblet of Fire. You told him you wouldn’t, but you've done so anyway in secret. These are the reactions of Garreth, Ominis, and Sebastian when they not only realize you put your name in behind their back, but that you’ve also been chosen as the Hogwarts Champion.

Word Count: 

Garreth: ~ 2,200 words

Ominis: ~ 1,700 words

Sebastian: ~ 2,400 words

Warnings: Kissing, Angst

Author’s Note: Thanks for the request, anon! And I'm so happy you enjoy my writing ❤ I hope you don't mind I got Garreth and Sebastian in on your request haha. You can go ahead and jump to reader and Ominis' fight, there aren't any rules here. 😉 Sorry for taking so long on my fanfics! Work has been nuts lately, I've fit in writing whenever I had the drive and wasn't mentally burned out from my job. Hope you enjoy and have fun with it guys, got some good ol' angst written up for ya 😚

Songs (if interested):

Garreth’s song: War of Hearts (Acoustic Version) - Ruelle

Ominis’ song: Granite - Sleep Token

Sebastian’s song: Is It Really You? - Sleep Token, Loathe

Garreth:

When Garreth heard Headmaster Black announce your name, his blood went cold, the entertained smile vanishing from his face. But - we agreed you wouldn’t… No. No, this isn’t fun anymore. Stop this. Stop all of this now. 

He watched you as you made your way up to stand with the other champions. You were smiling, happy, proud as can be that your name was chosen. But he caught the guilty look in your eye when you glanced his way. You lied to me.

The room seemed to be spinning while he sat still in his seat, looking Headmaster Black’s way but not listening to what he was saying about the tournament. His ears were ringing, he was starting to feel sick.

As soon as everyone was dismissed, Garreth shot up from his seat, wanting to get out of the Great Hall as fast as possible. You wanted to chase after him, explain yourself. But you could only watch Garreth’s form walk away as you were guided with the other champions out to discuss the tournament expectations. 

-

Garreth had gone numb. The one he loved most had lied to him, deciding some dangerous, unnecessary tournament was worth more than him. Without thinking, he had gone to Professor Sharp’s empty classroom and started brewing whatever came to mind. He wasn’t in the mood for experimenting, he wanted to put together ingredients that made sense, he couldn’t take anymore surprises.

You had been watching him silently from the doorway for a few minutes, trying to think of what you could possibly say to him after what you had done. 

Feeling someone’s presence, he turned to see who it was. He shook his head and scoffed humorlessly seeing it was you, turning back to his potions.

I deserved that welcome. “I -” You began but stopped short, not knowing how to continue.

He took a step back from his potion brew, resting his hands on the table, looking at the ground because he wasn’t quite ready to look at you. “I just want to know why. Why would you look me in the eye, promise me you wouldn’t put your name in the running, and then go off and do exactly that behind my back?” His voice was hard, his words direct. 

You had never heard him be this stern with you. You didn’t think you’d ever heard him this stern with anyone. Way to go, you’ve managed to make the most fun loving, easy going person you know livid. “There’s no good excuse, Gar.”

“Don’t.” He said through gritted teeth. “You are not allowed to call me that.”

Your heart broke, but you knew you brought this on yourself.

He took a steadying breath, trying to push down his temper. “Either tell me why you did it or leave me alone.” His tone sounded like he was already done with you.

You nodded your head, quickly trying to find the words. “I… Natty put her name in.”

Garreth squeezed his eyes shut. He had heard Natty throwing the idea of entering around but he hadn’t realized she’d actually done it. If he had found out before you did, he would have done everything in his power to keep it hidden from you. Although, he didn’t know how successful he’d be when Natty was your best friend. “If she wanted to compete, that's her choice.”

“And this is mine. I’m not letting anything happen to her.”

He stood up straight then, looking at nothing in particular. He shouldn’t have expected anything different. You were the most capable person to compete for Hogwarts, and the only one in ages able to wield ancient magic, you both knew if you entered your name you’d get chosen. He had begged you to promise him you wouldn’t put your name in. But of course, it still ended up like this.

All it would take was one misstep, and you’d be taken from him forever. The thought had brought back the sickening feeling he had earlier. Wishing he had felt numb still, he sighed and rubbed at his brows with his thumb and forefinger. “Why do you have to be the hero every bloody time?” He grumbled, just loud enough for you to hear.

You looked down, feeling horrible seeing him this way. It was a new low knowing you had caused it. Garreth was always bright and full of good humor, and your betrayal seemed to wash that all away like it never existed. “I’m so sorry. I never… never wanted to hurt you.”

He finally turned your way and looked over you solemnly for a moment. You held his gaze as he walked up and cupped your cheek. “I just had to go after you, didn’t I? Why couldn’t I have gone after someone dull? Why’d it have to be you?” He gave a small shake of his head as he mused to himself. “It’s cruel being in love with you.”

It hit you then that you could lose him over this. “I know.” You whispered.

With a disappointed sigh, he released you and went back to his potions station. “You can go now.” He said with no emotion, as if he were dismissing you.

You stared after him a moment longer, then took your leave.

He poured some of the wiggenweld potion he brewed into a flask. Just as he was about to cap it, rage coursed through him and he threw the flask against the wall.

-

He wasn’t planning on attending any of your challenges, but he found he couldn’t keep away. He needed to keep an eye on you or he’d feel worse than he already did. He remained near the back of the audience, pacing back and forth, anxiously running his hand through his hair throughout the whole thing. The sick, nervous feeling never dissipated, he could have sworn the sensation was burning a hole through his insides.

He nearly collapsed when the challenge was over, breathing easier with so much relief washing over him. He ran down to the champions’ tent to wait for you to leave. He called your name as you walked out and you quickly turned in the direction of his voice, eyes wide that he had not only shown up, but approached you first.

He closed the distance between you two and pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you like he never wanted to let go. You wrapped your arms back around him, nearly crying at the collision. 

He pulled back just enough to cup your cheek and look over your features. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” His stomach dropped seeing all the gashes and bruises on your face. 

“I’m fine.” You tried to reassure him, but his eyes darting all over you told you your words hadn’t done much reassuring.

He took your hand in his and pulled you urgently along with him. “I’m getting you to the hospital wing, and I’m going to make you some wiggenweld potions.” He stopped briefly to look you dead in the eye, no nonsense. “And you’re going to drink every single one I put in front of you.” He turned and began tugging you along again.

You smiled to yourself, not daring to disagree with him. “Yes, sir.”

-

On your way to the hospital wing, you walked by the wall where the Room of Requirement would be. It never showed up when you were with someone else, but that day it did. Garreth slowed to a stop, furrowing his brows as he watched the door form before him. 

“What’s happening?” 

“It’s the Room of Requirement. Looks like it believes we both need it now.” You tugged him in with you and his eyes went wide at it all before him.

“You’ve had all this to yourself since fifth year?” He was in awe, how could you ever want to leave this place? As his eyes explored the room, they landed back on you, and he remembered in a panic what he was originally doing. “Sit down.” He commanded. He turned and scanned the room for your potions station. Spotting it, he strode up and began on some wiggenwelds. While those took a moment to brew, he looked around for some bandages, anything to patch you up with.

“Right here.” You held them up as you sat on the couch and began working them onto yourself.

He snatched them from you, sat down, and started doing it for you. You watched him as he fixated on your scrapes and bumps. Being this close again, you wanted to kiss his freckles more than ever before. He had been avoiding you since you last spoke, you were convinced you had lost him. You probably had and this was only a moment of weakness on his part. 

“I love you.” You found yourself saying. “I’d do anything for you, I hope you still know that.”

He seemed unphased by your words as he continued cleaning you up. “You’d do anything but keep your name out of a burning goblet, it seems.” 

You closed your eyes and sighed through your nose. He had you there.

He stopped his movements suddenly and shifted away from you, sighing himself and leaning his elbows on his knees. “You broke my heart, you know.” 

Tears stung at your eyes. But you refused to let them fall, you weren’t the victim here. All you could do was nod your head even though he wasn’t looking at you.

“You promised me you wouldn’t put your name in that damned goblet.” His voice was strained. He went silent for a moment, taking a steadying breath. “You got me thinking about life outside of Hogwarts.” He began again. “It’s only going to get worse once we leave here and we’re out there. You’re going to put yourself in worse and worse situations for others.” He rubbed his hand down his face roughly at the thought and let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to bear it.”

You sat up straight, trying to keep your composure as your nerves went into a stomach-turning frenzy. You knew what he was getting at.

“I don’t want to be in love with you… I don’t.” He admitted. He looked up to the potion pots and saw the wiggenwelds were done. He stood to his feet to grab them and bring them over. He knelt before you, holding up one of the flasks. “You’re to drink all three of these.” He looked up at you with a face of you don’t have a say, drink it.

You took the first one from him, downing it, then did the same for the following two. Once you finished he got up and discarded the flasks. He returned to your side on the couch and took your hand in his. He looked down at it in his lap, tracing shapes on your skin lightly with his thumb. “What I do know is that being apart from you feels so much worse. Now that… that I know I can’t bear.” He looked at you then, his face told you he was upset with himself for feeling this way, for choosing to stay by your side.

You had caused this. You had done him wrong. And he was right, things were going to get worse after Hogwarts. You really were a cruel one to love.

“I don’t know how long I'll be furious with you, but I’m thinking it’ll be a while.” He let himself get lost in your eyes for a moment. “Glad you’re okay at least.” He released your hand and got up to leave. 

You were going to let him go, but you stood to your feet and stormed after him. You grabbed at him to face you and then crashed your lips onto his. You cupped his face and he shot his hands to your waist, his fingers digging deep into your sides. 

He pulled away slightly, his eyes narrowed at you and he exhaled, frustrated. He was beyond exasperated with you, but he still craved you like no other. Furrowing his brows, he returned his lips to yours, moving his mouth against yours to satiate said craving. His hands slid up your back as he wrapped his arms around you. 

He hadn’t realized how starved he was for your taste until he had you there in his arms again. He licked at your bottom lip, wanting to get more of you, and you gladly granted him access. Anything he wanted, you’d give it to him. He could feel your compliance, and he was tempted to see just how sorry you were.

But his hands slowly moved up to yours and removed them from his face. He tore his lips from yours and looked over your flushed features, wanting more but not allowing himself more, then he released you. “Nice try.” He turned and made his way out. “Stay sweet and I might let you call me ‘Gar’ again.” He called over his shoulder.

-

Ominis:

“You what?!” Ominis was fuming now, you had seen him angry with you before, but never like this.

“I thought,” You exhaled in frustration, “I thought it would help your family approve of me.”

“My family should be none of your concern!”

“I’m not a pure-blood, Ominis, you know they would never approve of me. Being the Hogwarts Champion has to mean something. If they ever find out we’re together, they’d arrange a marriage for you like that.” You said with a snap of your fingers. “This tournament could help prove my worth.”

He shook his head, pacing back and forth. “And you’d think I’d just roll over and let that happen?! This was not the answer, I’ll never understand why you thought it was.” 

“There’s no need to get this upset. I might not even get picked anyway.”

His pacing came to a sudden halt, his eyebrows shot up in incredulity. “Is that supposed to be a joke? Of course your name’s going to get picked!” His fury turned into something with a bit more worry then. “I can’t help you when you're out there, you’re going to have to do all those challenges on your own.”

“Whatever they throw at me, I’ll be able to handle it. I’m sure I’ve already survived through worse than what they’re planning.”

“That’s just it! You had no control over everything that’s happened and you survived through it! This? You’re actively seeking out danger now, it’s pointless! When did you become so dim-witted as to not see that?!” Ominis regretted his words immediately, desperately wanting to take them back but unable to do so.

You were stunned for a moment he had actually spoken to you in such a way. A petty smile formed on your face. “Seems we’re done here.” 

Ominis called your name in a panic as he heard you storm out of the undercroft, but you ignored him. He dug around frantically in his pocket for his wand, holding it up and having it guide him to follow where you had gone. He knew his wand didn’t work as a tracker, but he had the slightest bit of hope that if it sensed how much he needed to get to you it might help him out. But no such luck.

-

It had been a week since you and Ominis fought and the dreaded day had finally arrived to announce the TriWizard tournament champions. Every now and then his wand would sense you were in the same room as him, but he didn’t need his wand to be able to tell you were keeping your distance. 

How could I have spoken to you the way I had? Every time he thought back to it, he wanted to ask Sebastian to punch him, just bash his face right in.

Even though Ominis knew it was coming, he was still hit with an overwhelming sense of dread when Headmaster Black announced your name. He didn’t clap with everyone else and he hoped you noticed.

He left the Great Hall with everyone else and his wand sensed Poppy was near him. An idea instantly formed in his head. “Excuse me, Poppy?”

Poppy turned her head in surprise hearing Ominis call to her. “Y - Yes, Ominis?”

It was a relief hearing your best friend’s voice still sound so friendly to him. You must not have told anyone about how he spoke to you, which only made him feel worse. He was the villain here. “I need your help with something.”

-

He was leaning against a tree in the woods behind the beasts class stables, hands in his pockets and tapping his foot anxiously. He heard your footsteps crunching the leaves on your way over. 

“Poppy? Poppy, I’m here with the feed, what’s happened to High Wing?” You asked in a panic. When Poppy didn’t respond, you looked up from the feed in your arms and Ominis stepped forward.

You groaned and turned on your heel to leave. 

“Please - just wait -”

“Want to insult me some more, do you?” You snipped without looking back at him.

“I’m going to have my family speak to Headmaster Black.” Ominis blurted, and you froze. “They’ll get you out of the games.”

He could hear you drop the feed to the ground. “Don’t you dare.” A chill went down his spine at your warning tone but he stood his ground.

“You don’t have a say in the matter. You’re not competing.”

He could hear you stomp up to him, could feel your presence, and you were close. His breath hitched when he realized you were close enough for him to feel your breath against his skin. It had hit him all at once how he hadn’t been able to touch you for a week, and he didn’t know if he was able to keep himself from closing the distance between you two right then and there.

“Back off, Gaunt. How about you sit down and shut up while I show this entire valley what this ‘dim-wit’ can do?” 

Ominis’ lips parted slightly. Oh... 

He fisted the fabric of your shirt and shot his lips in the direction of where he felt your breath and heard your voice. It was all too perfect getting your lips on the first try, especially with you having riled him up, speaking to him as you had.

He nipped at your lip and it drew the softest of moans from you, but he caught it. He always heard every little noise he could get out of you. Your hands went up and ran through his hair, you had missed him too, he could tell. Remembering where the tree he was leaning against was, he walked you back until you were pressed against it. 

He released your shirt and brought his hands to your waist. His kisses turned less ravenous and more apologetic. He slowed and deepened his mouth movements. “I’m sorry.” He whispered against your lips. “I’m so sorry. I had no right speaking to you that way.” He said in between kisses. “There’s no excuse. I’ll do everything in my power to make it up to you.”

“Ominis, stop talking.” You sighed, greedily taking his lips again. Though his body weight was against you, keeping you trapped between him and the tree, he was the compliant one.

Ominis pulled back, as much as he wanted to keep connected to you, you two had unfinished business. “I won’t go to my family… if it’s what you really want.” Ominis said, still a bit breathless from your kiss. “Just… don’t do it for them, I beg of you. They aren't worth it.” Ominis leaned forward to kiss at your neck tenderly as he waited for your answer.

You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. “It’s what I want. If not me, then who?”

His mouth on your neck stilled. As much as he hated to agree with you on this, he did. If he sent his family to speak with Headmaster Black to have another student take your place, he’d practically be sending that student to their death. You were the most capable person he had ever known, and you didn’t even need dark magic to accomplish all that you had. If anyone was going to survive this thing, it was you.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a loving embrace. He nuzzled his face into your neck and took in your scent, reveling in this moment you had together. He thought he had ruined everything after your fight. 

More than anything, he wanted to go back in time and do everything he could to stop you from ever entering your name into that Goblet. But in the end, it was always your choice, not his.

-

The days leading up to your first challenge, Ominis kept close to your side, constantly asking you questions on how prepared you were. 

“Did you brew enough wiggenweld potions? How about we start on some thunderbrews for you as well?”

“I know how effective the chomping cabbages are, but let’s get some mandrakes and venomous tentaculas grown to be on the safe side.”

“Were you able to put that enchantment I showed you on your competition robes?”

The day of the challenge, he was able to keep his composure, but only because you asked him to. You were anxious as well, and him being sick with worry for you would only add to the frenzy of nerves within you.

He asked Sebastian to narrate everything that was happening while you were out there. Hearing Sebastian’s depiction and the blasting sounds of spells from the arena unraveled his calm exterior more and more by the second. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands, leg bouncing up and down rapidly. He didn’t know how he was going to have to sit through two more of these.

Use the Unforgivables if you have to, I don’t care. He found himself thinking. Whatever it takes, just come back to me.

The sound of the crowd cheering and the feel of Sebastian roughly patting his back in excitement told him you had completed the first challenge. He immediately stood to his feet and took out his wand, his legs were jelly but he pushed through and went straight for the champions’ tent. As soon as he arrived you had run up and thrown your arms around him.

He didn’t hesitate to drop his wand to the ground and wrap his arms around you. He closed his eyes, holding you so close to him he had started to lift you off the ground a bit. He was beyond thankful to every little thing in the universe that aligned to help him get back to you.

“If you still believe my family would be able to tear me from you, you might actually be a dim-wit.”

He could feel you chuckle against him. “I’d like to see them try after what I just accomplished back there.”

-

Sebastian:

Sebastian had let his emotions get the better of him again. It was his fault you had been avoiding him for days now, and he couldn’t bear it any longer. He tried giving you your space but he needed to at least let you know how sorry he was. As soon as the TriWizard champions announcement ceremony was over, he’d find you and apologize. He needed to be better, he knew that.

But then your name was called. 

Wait, that can’t be right. You didn’t even put your name in so how…? His breathing grew a bit heavier. No, no Professor Black read the wrong name. You told each other everything. And he specifically had you promise him you wouldn’t enter. 

He watched for your features to see if you were just as confused as he was, but you weren’t. You were smiling, happily receiving congratulatory pats on the back as you walked up to stand with the champions already chosen, not glancing his way once.

He mentally willed you to look his way as you stood up there. Give me something, give me anything. Tell me with your eyes why you did this. But no use, you were up there looking as if you had no reason not to be.

When everyone was dismissed he stayed back a bit, wanting to go up to you. But you and the other champions were escorted away to discuss what was to be expected going into this tournament.

Sebastian waited outside the Great Hall until you were done. Once he saw you walking out, he pushed up off the wall he was leaning against and came up behind you, calling your name.

“Did you enter because of me? Is this my fault?”

You stopped in place, taking a moment to turn and face him. You had some trouble meeting his gaze. “You weren’t the main reason, but I’d be lying if I said you weren’t a part of it.”

“Then why? Why else would you do this?”

You looked over his dispirited features in silence for a moment. “Since the moment I arrived at Hogwarts, I felt as if I’ve been running around taking care of everyone else. And after our last fight, I… I don’t know. Something in me snapped, Sebastian. Putting my name in that Goblet, it -” You exhaled, feeling like he wouldn’t understand but you decided to tell him anyway, “it was the first time I felt like I was doing something for me.”

Sebastian looked down, it seemed you didn’t tell each other everything like he once believed. How could he have not known you felt this way? He was the one seeing you and he didn’t even realize something had been off with you.

“I know I made a promise not to do it. And for breaking that promise, I apologize. But… I don’t regret doing it.” You were ashamed at the admission, but you wanted him to know.

He realized it then when he met your gaze, he had lost you. You had been slipping away from him for a while, and he had been so blinded by his own issues he hadn’t noticed until it was too late.

A nasty, stomach turning feeling hit him all at once. “Is this… Are you ending things between us?”

His heart constricted painfully when you didn’t answer him right away, didn’t reassure him that he had it all wrong and you would never part from him. You were looking at him like you knew the next thing you were about to say would make him feel terrible. 

“Sebastian, I’ll always be around to help you with Anne -”

He huffed in disbelief and turned on his heel to get out of there, as far away from you as possible. He didn’t want to hear you finish that sentence, how you had started it had already broken him enough.

-

He fell back onto his bed, throwing an arm over his eyes. He couldn’t stop the tears from stinging at them but he could sure as hell keep them from falling. It hurt more thinking back to the conversation and realizing that not once had you called him ‘Seb’ like you normally did. How long has it been since you had? Even more indication of how far you had drifted away. How did this happen?

When was the last time you asked him to help you with anything? There were a few times in fifth year you had asked for his help getting the triptychs, but those outings had benefited him as well in trying to get a cure for Anne. Was there ever a time he had helped you with anything that was purely for you? He was disgusted with himself, not being able to name a single time. No wonder he lost you.

And now you were going to compete in a tournament famous for being so dangerous, it was common for the participants to die. Throwing yourself into jeopardy like this, you hadn’t asked for his help. No. You had banished him from your side. How could you expect him to keep his distance in circumstances such as these?

The tears were overflowing, escaping out of his shut eyelids and he pressed his arm over them tighter. Just come back. I need you back. I’ll be better, I promise.

-

Ominis had advised Sebastian to give you your space, if you wanted his help you would ask for it. But all these horrifying scenarios kept popping up in his head, scenarios where you die and he could have done something to prevent it. He didn’t care if you ignored him, didn’t care if you hated him, as long as you were alive, you could feel however you damn well pleased about him.

He had scoured the library for any enchantment you could put on your competition robes, any herbology methods to make your carnivorous plants more vicious, anything to make your potions more effective. 

He lost sleep over it, he didn’t mind. He’d much rather sneak into the restricted section late at night than face those nightmares of your corpse he’d been having the past week. Once he felt he had enough notes written out of all these things that could help you, he decided to find you.

He waited for you to come outside of the Room of Requirement with a notebook of everything he had researched for you. It was late but there was still a good amount of time before curfew. As the halls were getting darker and emptier, he sat on the ground, head back against the wall until you came out. 

He startled a bit when the door finally formed. He sprang to his feet and straightened out his clothes as he watched you walk out. Your eyes met his and it pained him that you looked uneasy to see him.

“I um -” He cleared his throat, a bit unsure of himself now that he had your full attention. “I have something for you.” He held out the notebook to you.

You glanced down at it in his hands, then eyed him as you took it. “What’s this?” 

Sebastian moved himself to your side, looking over your shoulder, opening the notebook as you held it in your hand and gave as brief an explanation as he could. He pointed out where you could find the herbology notes, the enchantment notes, and the potion notes. As he explained, your eyes drifted gradually up from the notebook to his face.

After a moment, he noticed you looking at him and not the notebook. “What?”

“Nothing.” You looked back down at the notebook. “Thank you for this.”

Sebastian didn’t say anything and stayed where he was next to you. You looked back up at him, wondering if there was something else he wanted. He hadn’t been this close to you for weeks. He missed your scent, your warmth, your lips being this close to his. He wanted to claim them again, but he knew he couldn’t. You weren’t his anymore. 

Rather than pulling you close, he kept his hands to himself and gave a single nod of his head to you. Then he turned on his heel and left.

You watched him walk away in silence. You were expecting him to ask for something in return, help with some cave that had some book that mentioned some untapped magic. Just like he had always done. But he had just given you the notebook and left it at that.

Where was this Sebastian before? Truth be told, you always felt like he could walk out on you at any moment. Especially if he ever felt like he no longer had a need for your ancient magic, there were many nights you’d be up wondering if that was the only reason he was with you. This along with the way he would snap at you whenever he was frustrated, taking it out on you. He had gotten better about it since fifth year, but it still occurred.

Whether he was doing this to get you or your ancient magic back, only time would tell.

-

The day of your first challenge arrived, and Sebastian hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep the night before. He debated not turning up at all, but the idea had made him feel nauseous. He needed to stay close to you throughout this whole thing.

Whether or not he actually watched was still up in the air. He stood behind one of the wooden beams in the audience stands, arms crossed over his chest tightly in hopes of keeping himself from throwing up. When it was announced you were up next, he squeezed his eyes shut and the blood drained from his face. This could be it, these could be your last few moments alive. He could hear you start the challenge below and sweat began to form on his forehead.

“Sebastian, you've got to see this!” Lucan Brattleby shouted to him over the crowd’s cheers.

Sebastian’s head snapped his direction, and he noticed the crowd’s faces. They weren’t biting their nails or covering their eyes in horror, they were ecstatic, brows raised and eyes wide in awe. Sebastian came out from behind the pillar and looked down into the arena below.

A rousing sensation coursed through him as he watched you. You’re glorious. He always knew you were capable and talented. He’d caught glimpses of your skill with a wand when you competed in Crossed Wands or fought side by side on your outings together. But he had never just… watched you. His worry for you in this tournament was fizzling away the more he witnessed you practically dance through this challenge in the arena below. Your footwork was clean, your defensive reflexes quick, and your offensive casts brutal.

He could watch you do this all day.

When the challenge ended, you had placed first with a sweeping victory. He couldn’t help it, he wanted to run to you and congratulate you, tell you how amazing you were himself. Even if you only gave him a fleeting glance, even if you ignored him.

His nerves went into a frenzy seeing you come out of the tent. You had spotted him right away, and you seemed genuinely pleased to see him. He was taken aback and thought his heart would burst out of his chest.

You made your way up to him and he stuttered trying to get his words out. “I - I just wanted to come by and tell you -”

“Come here.” He was silenced when you grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him in for a kiss. He was stunned but quickly shook himself out of it, wrapping his arms around you to keep you on him like this. 

You were in complete control of this kiss, and Sebastian had no complaints. Your hands moved to cup his jaw, holding him in a way that you could move his head so his mouth was right where you wanted it at all times. His heart was racing in anticipation while yours raced with adrenaline. His body was turning into a furnace for you. He knew this wasn’t a makeup kiss, this was a passionate, emotions are high kind of kiss. But he’d give it to you all the same, anything you wanted, it was yours.

You had never felt so on top of the world in your life. The sound of the crowd cheering you on so loudly the arena began to shake, completing the first challenge like it was nothing, and taking charge of Sebastian Sallow’s lips, it was all unbelievably intoxicating.

“Thank you.” You said breathily, breaking from him. “For that notebook, it helped more than you know, thank you.”

“It’s nothing compared to what you’ve done for me.” He shook his head, then placed his forehead on yours. “You deserve so much more.”

You stroked his cheek with your thumb, taking in his freckles, soaking in this short moment where you two were close again.

“Can you see yourself coming back to me?” He found himself asking.

You took a moment to answer as you kept your hold on each other. “I don’t know… I still love you. I think I always will. But -” You thought on your words carefully and Sebastian stiffened, tightening his hold on you, afraid of letting you slip away again. “I don’t know if I have anything more to give.”

“I’m not asking you to give anything.” He said quickly, voice just above a whisper. “I don’t care if you never help me with finding a cure again. Just… Please, don’t tear yourself away from me.”

You looked into his eyes, not wanting to break this moment, unsure of what was supposed to happen next. “I need more time.”

He closed his eyes briefly at that answer, then gave a small nod. It wasn’t what he wanted you to say, but there was still hope in it. He’d wait, as long as it took. And he’d continue helping you in this tournament whether you liked it or not.

[sweetpondduckling]

The next arcane-related/LoL shows i would love to see, why, and ranked in the order of which I think are most likely to get made

Because why not

Mel as Noxus leader: She was raised in this culture but it is also radically different than the one she's lived in for about a decade. I would love to see her getting harsher to be able to rule and also find room for mercy and peace where ever she can. Also she needs to fight the Black Rose and it would be amazing to see how she deals with the complicated emotions and sorrows that comes with her mom's death and the role both she and the Black Rose played in that. This seems like the most likely show to happen (it was basically confirmed when we saw she went home and I'd be pretty disappointed if we never got to see what happened after)

CaitVi meeting Jinx again: they leave piltover to fight battles in other distant lands (I know nothing of LoL lore btw) and find jinx living a better life. If this was my show to write, years would have passed at this point, and both jinx and Vi are doing great. Piltover is Vi's home and her and cait are stronger together than ever. Jinx has settled in a new town and isn't causing trouble. This would force Vi to realise that she can't do anything but let jinx go for real (by choice) and trust that she will be okay, even if it is difficult. She can't bring jinx home because piltover isn't jinx's home anymore, and she can't leave piltover behind since that's where her whole life is. They could bond and promise to meet again, but in the end vi would have to choose her own happiness and leave jinx where she can't protect her. I'm not sure how likely this is to happen. I don't think we've seen the last of vi or Jinx, but not sure if they will have separate stories or if this is anywhere near how it would go (probably not)

JayVic starting a new life: don't have many ideas for anything specific, just that they might have survived and teleported to somewhere else. The arcane would have left them, and the story could be about grief and love as Victor might have his disease again, and both of them have lost so much. But if they have a community where they are, then it could also be about the importance of external support and help. For the sake of action ofc, the science bros would have to save people from some great threat and preserve their new lives. Unlikely to happen imo. It felt to me like the show considers them dead even if they could have survived. But one can hope.

Ambessa origin story: personally what I want the most, but probably the least likely to happen. How did Ambessa come to power? who did she fight? how did she become who she was in the show. I wanna see War and fighting and death. Sadly, it's not going to happen. "Blood sweat and tears" was basically an origin story speedrun. But ambessa is my favourite character (maybe, im pretty indecisive), and I will always want to see more of her.

Bonus idea: basically a slightly more possible version of the above one, but mixed with Mel's story. One where we focus mainly on Mel ruling noxus and fighting the Rose but where we also get flashback scenes (or even whole episodes!) that focus on Ambessa. The scenes (or episodes) could be triggered by Mel having to make a choice that her mom also had to make once or through her learning a secret about her mom, and then we learn the context through flashbacks. It's not impossible that a future show could do that... Please... I need more Ambessa

[stuckysimp]

Here, Now, Together

Summary: The night before Bucky falls from the train, he shares a peaceful moment with Steve

TW: Mentions of death, war

Word Count: 1137

Co-author: @ivyace

Bucky hated how rare moments like these had become. That they had to be out, risking their lives, just for some sort of quiet. Home wasn’t quite home anymore, and anytime they returned to a base camp, they were either sleeping, getting lectured, or planning their next raid. The past two years had been absolute hell, but hey, at least he wasn’t dead. That had to count for something, right?

He wasn’t really sure if he hated the days or the nights more. When they were attacking, or when they were waiting and praying they weren’t attacked. The whole thing was bullshit, but Bucky had promised he’d stay.

So he would.

Night had been a comfort, once. It used to serve as a time of relaxation, away from the responsibilities of the world that weighed down on his shoulders. Now? It just meant that they had survived to fight another day which wasn’t nearly as encouraging as it seemed.

He buried his hands into the pocket of his jacket, rolling his aching shoulder a little as he sat down beside Steve in front of the flickering light of the lantern. The others had settled down for the night, asleep in their tents. Steve had offered to take first watch, and Bucky decided to take the opportunity to talk while they could.

"I swear, when we get home, I'm gonna buy the biggest bed," Steve whispered, making sure they wouldn't be overheard. "King-sized, like the president would have."

Bucky felt himself smile, following Steve’s gaze to the lantern. “Yeah? Annd how do you plan on affordin’ that?”

Steve shrugged, shifting closer so their sides were lightly pressed together. “I dunno. I think they're making Captain America action figures. You think they'll give me some of the royalties?"

He snorted at that, grinning as his gaze drifted up to the sky above them. “Action figures?” He echoed, allowing his amusement to seep into his voice. “I damn well hope so.” God knew Steve deserved the money, after everything.

“Wonder if they’re makin’ Bucky Barnes action figures too.” Steve’s voice was teasing, his hand reaching up and gently massaging Bucky’s aching shoulder where his gun usually rested.

“God, I hope not.” Bucky leaned into the touch, allowing his smile to grow, running his tongue between his teeth as he looked down at the ground beneath him. He shook his head fondly. “I reckon only ‘the great Captain America’ gets that privilege.”

Steve seemed to slump at that, his expression turning somewhat bitter. “Well, we can reap the rewards together.” His voice remained soft, continuing his ministrations.

Bucky nodded and let the silence settle between them for a moment. In truth, neither of them knew if they would make it out of this shit alive. They’d survived so far, but there was never any guarantee. This was war, after all, and men were dying left and right. Who was to say they wouldn’t be next?

He felt Steve’s grip tighten on his shoulder, and he knew Steve was having similar thoughts. He could practically read it on his face anyway. He reached over and rested his hand gently against the other man’s leg, lightly pressing his thumb down and drawing a small circle. It was a small, subtle movement but it meant absolutely everything. Something to use when they couldn’t speak freely, when they had nothing else.

I love you, is what it meant.

It served as a comfort, a promise, and so much more that could never really be put into words. Steve returned the gesture against his shoulder, massaging a small circle against it.

I love you too.

“What is it?” Steve’s voice held a warmth that Bucky could never resist. It made him melt, his walls crumbling instantly at Steve’s soft gaze.

He sighed, gaze still on the floor, hating just how well Steve knew him. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

It was selfish, he knew. How could he ever wish this on Steve? He was supposed to keep him safe, not drag him along to fucking war. He should have known that Steve would find some way to follow, he’d always been a stubborn pain in his ass. He supposed he should be thankful, at least, that it was in the form of a soldier rather than a skinny asthmatic, coughing to death in the trenches. Not that he’d ever wanted Steve to be a soldier, or the stupid hero that America seemed to have made him.

He’d just wanted him to be safe.

That’s all he’d really ever wanted. Even back home, on the streets of Brooklyn, when Steve had gotten into fights that he couldn’t finish, coming home bleeding and bruised. Now it was so much worse. Yeah, Steve could somewhat hold his own now, but now they were going up against actual armies, people with guns that could disintegrate you. His stomach turned at the thought and he forced himself back to the present, refocusing on the light of the lantern.

He felt a light pressure against his side and glanced at Steve, who was gently leaning against him. His heart melted, something in him relaxing. Right. If nothing else, at least, right now they were here. Together.

That was all that really mattered, anyway. As long as they were together, they could face anything.

“You smell different. Feel different too.”

Bucky raised an amused eyebrow, turning his attention to Steve properly. “Different?” He echoed. “Ain’t like you’re the same as I left ya Steve.”

A dry laugh escaped Steve’s lips. “I ‘spose.”

As much as he hated it, Bucky knew exactly what Steve meant. This shit, it took a toll. They were both different men than they had been back in Brooklyn, inside and out. Though in Steve’s case, it was definitely more obvious.

He felt Steve’s body go limp against his and he couldn’t help but smile, seeing that he’d fallen asleep. Bucky didn’t move to wake him, knowing that the man he loved needed all the rest he could get, not buying the bullshit Steve spouted about ‘not being tired’ just because he’d gotten that stupid serum. He readjusted his position just enough to get comfortable, arm wrapped protectively around Steve.

The sound of scuffling nearby caused Bucky’s stomach to turn, but he relaxed when he saw Morita climb out from his tent. He didn’t say anything thankfully. He just gave Bucky a nod, which he returned, watching as Morita lit another lantern, grabbed a gun, and then disappeared into the darkness, probably just going for a piss or something.

Bucky sighed, only really settling when the sound of footsteps crunching against leaves faded. He rubbed his thumb against Steve’s arm, more as a comfort to himself than to the sleeping man, and turned his gaze to the sky.

[celebrimbor-apologist]

Liveblog of 2x08

Spoilerssss

Not ready. 

Not today, Recap 

Oh no, we are starting with Durin. 

DISA IS ALIVE 

KISS KISS KISS Oh I love them I will not survive this episode. 

….hi Balrog. 

Oh Durin oh love. No, this is not about strength. Please King Durin. But it won’t work because… I just don’t think it will.

Durin please, do not give in. Please. 

…hi Balrog properly. 

Oh well 

DURIN???? DURIN YOU OKAY???? 

Okay he alive 

YES TAKE IT OOOOF

Oh he is dad again, he leaves the ring and is- 

"Forgive me my son. King Durin"

Oh my HEART. 

DISA

Oh FUCK

Durin and Elrond recovering side by side manifesting NOW 

Yes I am watching the intro sequence because I need the comfort of it. 

Okay hello Rhûn

Hello stranger. 

MANWE????? MANWE PROMISED?? I DON'T THINK SO?????

“Old Friend” will forever sound homoerotic, X-men did that.

“My people were once kings” Whelp. Sauron's gonna make you kings again, babes, don't worry

I am so weary of this Dark Wizard.

“Pity will not defeat Sauron” Hahaha, Samwise disagrees, though I’d call it Compassion but that might just be 3000 years of language change in action

OH YOU BITCH 

Oh Stranger you beautiful son of a-

OH THE TREE OH THE TREE 

Númenor <3 

BEWITCH THE SEA???

OH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I AM TAKING YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS 

Oh Númenor you are so fucked 

Elendil? Elendil where are you? 

The tears of the Valar themselves. Jup. 

Oh come on Elendil. 

Eärien, you have won back my love. 

No Míriel he really don’t wanna leave you, and I support him

Elendil. Oh Elendil and Mírel I love you both so much. 

NARSIL 

WHAT WHAT WHATAHEHJJCÄPJefpojdfknvkehräp

RECLAIM YOUR LORDSHIP

NARSIL 

Aaaaaand back to Eregion 

Okay Eregion Elf Archer you will not be forgotten 

Galadriel 

I WILL GIVE YOU NINE 

GALADRIEL 

NO 

Oh no

No 

No… No please, please…

“Look what you have done to yourself” I will personally end you. I will- I don’t even know what is really horrible to do?? I WILL- 

And he still resists. 

Defiant beloved Tyelpe

“Hear the dying words of Celebrimbor”

“The rings of power shall destroy you” THEY WILLLLLLL 

The haunting theme 

TYELPE 

Oh my dearest love 

TYELPERINQUAR 

Tyelpe 

Tyelpe died in his forge 

Tyelpeeeeee I’m not kidding, I am actually sobbing. Violently. Had to pause

THE MUSIC 

THE FUCKING TEAR OH ANNATAR I WILL FEED YOU TO THE DUCKS

“I have many names” Yeah, idiot, same, I'm trans too, but I’m not a fucking bastard asshole dickhead... I don't like insulting people so I'm out of insults.

Oh hi Isildur great, it’s about Estrid, means I can chill for a second 

I mean, at least we didn’t see the torture happen. But you know what?! I can fix this. I don’t fucking care anymore, fix it number seven if I need to but I am NOT LETTING TYELPE GO OKAY. Five stages of grief? NO, I am not moving past Denial. Deal with it.

Oh Theo hug nice.

Hi Estrid 

Well she is honest I can appreciate that

KEMEN FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF DIEEEEEEEE

Horse more useful than Kemen confirmed

Everyone wanting to punch Kemen as much as I do huh?

Galadriel if you give him the Nine I will end you

OH NO HE IS WEARING HER RING

OH YOU CLEAN UP NICELY

NAME??? GIVE US THE FUCKING NAME PLEASE

He gives it back??? ADAR REDEMPTION??? I STAN I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE 

"No more flames and no more darkness" Yes pls

Please I NEED his name now. 

Oh… Oh that’s Glûg… 

Oh I KNEW IT. 

They Sauron’d him. But hey, Adar looks less like a loser than Sauron in his Straight Era so.

Galadriel-

Oh hi Annatar 

OH THERE IT IS 

THE R 

THE R IN GALADRIEL I FUCKING LOVE THIS, Galadrriellllllll

OH NO. NOT THE FUCKING PARALLEL 

“Bring me their leaders” 

I still need Adar’s old name. This is such a Darkling moment. I neeed. (I caps-locked too much, my goddamn shift key is broken)

Yes fight him 

Never make war in anger Galadriel 

OH NO 

Gil and Elrond 

Ereinion <3 

Oh Elrond 

Ereinion is mad <3 

HOLY SHIT VIOLENT ELROND????? FOR EREINION???? YES PLEASE????

ARONDIR 

GIL WITH A KNIFE TO HIS THROAT 

I AM NOT OKAY

This is still not as bad as last episode hahaha.....

The way I fucking Screamed when she dropkicked him 

OH NO OH NO IT’S HOT SAURON (hysteric giggling)

Okay but Halbrand never looked so baby as Sauron does now sorry, loser man (derogatory) , si

Oh well but Sauron does not SOUND like her, similar but not the same, Morfyd Clark your SKILL 

“I know your mind” Oh go fuck yourself 

YESSSS GIRL GET ITTTTTTTTT “THE DOOR IS SHUT” FUCK HIM UPPPPPP 

YES HE HAS BEEN CUT THE-

Galadriel no 

Nononono

No, you have your ring you must be okay you must be okay you have plot armour 

I love how today Sauron gets told off by all of his exes <3 Celebrimbor, Adar, Galadriel <3 <3

Fuck he has the Nine

Horns?? "DWARVES" Ereinion stop looking so annoyed they are here to help, Gil-galad, king of standing in places prettily and autism you are the love of my life.

GIL BATTLE BRAID GIL BATTLE BRAIIIIID EREINION GIL-GALAD BATTLE BRAID OH I LOVE HIM. NO LONGER PRETTY STANDING IN PLACES BUT PRETTILY FUCKING SHIT UUUUUUUUP 

(Someone please hug Elrond by the way)

Oh Annatar you can’t take the ring can you? She has to give it up. Oh I love it because this is not his ring - he had no part in it. 

FUCK 

NO GALADRIEL REMEMBER CELEBRIMBOR DON’Ttttt

“You wish to heal middle earth? Heal yourself” That is the BEST way anyone has ever been told to get therapy ngl

Arondir and Gil? 

Ring Time 

GIL IN ACTION 

Oh I love him, oh Ereinion my love. 

But the ring can

“I can” 

Oh Elrond. Oh my love. He hates this, but he loves her more. 

Oh Poppy

And the forge falls

Oh Elrond

Míriel 

Elendil 

OH YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD FEANOR’S HAMMER REALLY

I HOPE TYELPE HAUNTS YOU INTO THE FIRES OF MOUNT DOOM

Well. Gandalf it is. 

They say goodbye now, huh? 

Ah there is his stick huh

Hi Tom

Old Tom Bombadil <3

“Valley north of here” Good. Good that is Imladris 

Oh Ereinion. OH EREINION.

Oh Elrond.

Oh he smile <3 I needed this 

Remember the council of Celebrim-

VOROHIL VOROHIL VOROHILListen that end scene????? I AM FINE HOLY FUCK I AM FINEEEEEEEEE

[moonshine999]

The Crows as Taylor Swift albums (pt.1)

because why would we have a sane method of characterisation

Kaz Brekker : Midnights 

♟️”And I wake up with your memory over me // That’s a real fucking legacy to leave” - Maroon 

♟️”Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism // Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time) // I wake up screaming from dreaming // One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving and life will lose all its meaning” - Anti-hero 

♟️”And the touch of a hand lit the fuse  // Of a chain reaction of countermoves // To assess the equation of you // Checkmate, I couldn’t lose” - Mastermind

♟️”Do you wish you could still touch…her? // It’s just a question” - Question…? 

♟️”Uh oh, I’m falling in love // Oh no, I’m falling in love again // Oh, I falling in love” - Labyrinth 

♟️”Spider-boy, king of thieves // Weave your little webs of opacity// My pennies made your crown” - Karma 

♟️”Passing by unbeknownst to me // Life is emotionally abusive// And time can’t stop me quite like you did” - Snow on the Beach 

♟️”All that bloodshed, crimson clover // uh-uh, sweet dream was over // my hand was the one you reached for // All throughout the Great War // Always remember// Uh-uh tears on the letter // I vowed not to cry anymore // if we survived the Great War” - The Great War

♟️”I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone // You said I have to trust more freely // But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire” - The Great War

♟️”Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness // ‘Cause it’s all over now, all out to sea” - Bigger than the whole sky

♟️”If I was some paint, did it splatter // On a promising grown man? // And if I was a child, did it matter // If you got to wash your hands?”- Would’ve could’ve should’ve

♟️”And now that I’m grown, I’m scared of ghosts // Memories feel like weapons” - Would’ve could’ve should’ve

♟️”Dear reader // Burn all the files, desert all your past lives // And I’d you don’t recognise yourself // That means you did it right “ - Dear Reader

♟️”Dear reader // The greatest of luxuries is your secrets // Dear reader // When you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss” - Dear Reader

Inej Ghafa : Speak Now

🪷”Left yourself in your warpath // Lost your balance on a tightrope // Lost your mind tryin' to get it back” - Innocent  

🪷”Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been // you’re still an innocent” - Innocent

🪷”My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea // You touch me once and it's really something “- Sparks Fly 

🪷”Maybe this is wishful thinkin' // Probably mindless dreamin'” - Back To December 

🪷”Miscommunications lead to fall out // So many things that I wish you knew // So many walls up I can't break through” - The Story Of Us

🪷”The battle's in your hands now // But I would lay my armor down // If you'd say you'd rather love than fight “- The Story of Us 

🪷”But I never thought I'd live to see it break // It's getting dark and it's all too quiet // And I can't trust anything now” - Haunted 

🪷”but Sophistication isn't what you wear, or who you know” - Better Than Revenge 

🪷”The playful conversation starts // Counter all your quick remarks // Like passing notes in secrecy” - Enchanted 

🪷“same old tired, lonely place // walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy // vanished when I saw your face // All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you” - Enchanted

🪷”The crowds in stands went wild // We were the kings and the queens// And they read off our names” - Long Live 

🪷”And the cynics were outraged // Screaming, "This is absurd" // ‘Cause for a moment // a band of thieves In ripped up jeans got to rule the world” - Long Live 

🪷”Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?” - Dear John 

🪷”Well maybe it’s me // And my blind optimism to blame // Or maybe it’s you and your sick need // to give love and then take it away” - Dear John

🪷”Memorise what it sounded like when your dad gets home // Remember the footsteps // Remember the words said // And all of your little brother’s favourite songs” - Never Grow Up

(Nina, Matthias, Jesper and Wylan are already posted)

[speaknowworldtour]

my boy only breaks his favourite toys + lyric parallels

“the sickest army doll purchased at the mall” // “my face was grey but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick” + “all i did was bleed as i tried to be your bravest soldier fighting in only your army”

“i vowed not to cry anymore if we survived the great war” // “rivulets descend my plastic smile”

“my boy only breaks his favourite toys” // “bad bad boy shiny toy with a price”

“salute to me i’m your american queen” // “i’m queen of sandcastles he destroys”

“back when you fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme” // “cause it fit too right puzzle pieces in the dead of night”

“back when we were card sharks playing games” // “there was a litany of reasons why we could’ve played for keeps this time”

“and my mother accused me of losing my mind but i swore i was fine” // “but first, pull the string and i’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me”

“and every time i look at you it’s like the first time” // “cause you should’ve seen him when he first saw me”

“pauses then says ‘you’re my best friend’” // “he was my best friend down at the sandlot”

“i used to switch out these kens i’d just ghost” // “i felt more when we played pretend than with all the kens”

“do i really have to tell you how he bought me back to life?” // “cause he took me out of my box”

“and you call me up again just to break me like a promise so casually cruel in the name of being honest i’m a crumbled up piece of paper lying here” // “left all these broken parts told me i’m better off but i’m not”

[mourntheantagonist]

I know I said I wouldn’t talk about taylor swift on this blog anymore but this is about billy so I am breaking the promise for just a second.

I have been listening to “the great war” on repeat and there is no universe you can convince me that it’s not about billy and max, specifically about everything following the fight at the byers, with “the great war” being their home life.

the songs opens with

my knuckles were bruised like violets, sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep talked

we all have our theories of the aftermath of the byers fight, but the consensus lies somewhere with billy ending up getting punished because he didn’t get max, and billy putting the blame on max. billy’s knuckles were bruised from the fight, he’s beaten down and angry, and he’s cursing max because in his eyes, all the blame falls to her.

the second verse begins

you drew up some good faith treaties, I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone

it also appears that the consensus is that tensions between max and billy started to settle after this moment, with max standing up to him and the two of them finding themselves in some sort of truce. however, the problem of neil was still a problem, and it was likely max continued to do things to get billy into more trouble. I think this likely led to billy isolating himself. we see beer cans scattered all over his room and it’s not unlikely that he was using alcohol (poison) to self medicate.

also going back to max’s actions having negative consequences for billy, the following line goes

you said I have to trust more freely, but diesel is desire, you were playing with fire

max is playing with fire whenever she rebels, except the difference is that she’s not the one at risk of being burned. billy ends up with the blame and the punishment, so of course that’s going to lead to some type of resentment.

and maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did, so I justified it

I don’t think max is aware of how her actions are affecting billy because she had already made up her mind on the kind of person billy is. I think she realizes eventually how neil is weaponizing them to fight with each other.

It’s clear there’s something that happened in california that they both blame each other for. billy blames max for his life being uprooted, and that paired with the fact that her actions disproportionately harm him, he’s misplacing the blame for his abuse onto max, and truly believing he’s justified in it because to him what she’s doing is just as bad.

now the song seems all doom and gloom for the siblings until you get the hopefulness from the choruses.

all that bloodshed, crimson clover, uh huh, the bombs were closer, my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war

always remember, uh huh, the burning embers, I vowed not to fight anymore, if we survived the great war

despite their volatile sibling relationship full of mistrust and resentment, they are able to understand each other on a level nobody else can. they are both experiencing what it’s like to live as a child in their home, and I think at the end of the day, deep down they both truly care about each other.

we actually know this. the show tells us this with how max reacts to billy’s possession in season three, and billy’s pleading to max, reaching out to her for help (because maybe she’s the only one who has ever tried to help him)

they count on each other in a weird way. they don’t trust each other, yet in “the great war” they wouldn’t call on anyone else for help.

i think that eventually, if having been given the chance, they could’ve mended their relationship and worked together instead of against each other, and their story could have had the ending that the song gives us.

there’s no morning glory it was war it wasn’t fair, and we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover, uh huh, the worst was over, my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war

always remember, uh huh, we’re burned for better, I vowed I would always be yours, ‘cause we survived the great war

sorry if this isn’t very well thought out, I just needed to express my thoughts cause I think the song just captures the nature of their sibling relationship so well—enemies with an even bigger enemy in common.

anyway, go listen to the full song if you want to break your brain like I have.

[thelordofgifs]

Hello today I am here to tell you that Taylor Alison Swift has absolutely read the Silmarillion and her song The Great War (I PROMISE that isn’t a rickroll may the everlasting darkness take me if I’m lying) was actually written about Russingon!

Or, more accurately, I was deep-diving into the silm just as Midnights came out and accidentally imprinted my new OTP onto the song, and then went a step further and made up a fan vid for them in my head! Which I will now describe to you in excruciating detail under the cut.

Fingon: [remembering the crossing of the Helcaraxë]

My knuckles were bruised like violets Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked Spineless in my tomb of silence Tore your banners down, took the battle underground And maybe it was egos swinging Maybe it was her Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur [remembering Alqualondë specifically]

Both: All that bloodshed, crimson clover Uh-huh, sweet dream was over

Maedhros: My hand was the one you reached for [a shot of Fingon raising his dagger to cut off Maedhros’ hand]

Both: All throughout the Great War Always remember Uh-huh, tears on the letter

Fingon: I vowed not to cry anymore

Both: If we survived the Great War

Maedhros: [remembering the Long Peace] You drew up some good faith treaties I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone You said I have to trust more freely But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire

Fingon: [thinking about a fight he had with Turgon about how he forgave Maedhros for the ship-burning] And maybe it's the past that's talking Screaming from the crypt Telling me to punish you for things you never did So I justified it

Both: [this second chorus has lots of epic fiery shots of the Dagor Bragollach] All that bloodshed, crimson clover Uh-huh, the bombs were closer

Fingon: My hand was the one you reached for [this is Maedhros swearing fealty to Fingon as the new High King, kissing his hand]

Both: All throughout the Great War Always remember Uh-huh, the burning embers

Maedhros: I vowed not to fight anymore [this is planning the Union of Maedhros, an assault that will surely definitely defeat Morgoth]

Both: If we survived the Great War

Fingon: [he’s standing on the coast in Araman watching the ship-burning from afar] It turned into something bigger Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed Your finger on my hair pin trigger [and then a smash cut to the pair of them on the Eagle’s back, Maedhros bleeding everywhere] Soldier down on that icy ground Looked up at me with honor and truth Broken and blue, so I called off the troops That was the night I nearly lost you I really thought I lost you [Fingon pacing frantically outside the healers’ tent as they try to save Maedhros]

Maedhros: [after the Nirnaeth] We can plant a memory garden Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair And we will never go back

To that bloodshed, crimson clover Uh-huh, the worst was over [we're in end-of-WoW period now] My hand was the one you reached for [remembering the rescue from Thangorodrim again] All throughout the Great War Always remember Uh-huh, we're burned for better [the Silmaril burns Maedhros] I vowed I would always be yours 'Cause we survived the Great War

I would always be yours 'Cause we survived the Great War I vowed I would always be yours [last shot is Maedhros looking down into the chasm]

[francesderwent]

Epiphany, Long Live, and The Great War?

"Epiphany"

the Swiftie lyric: "only twenty minutes to sleep but you dream of some epiphany, just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you've seen"

the lyric we should pay more attention to: "only twenty minutes to sleep but you dream of some epiphany, just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you've seen"

okay, "epiphany" isn't exactly a fan favorite, but to the extent that the fandom addresses it at all, I think they pretty much get it? the only other lyric that would make sense to pull out is "some things you just can't speak about", and there's a starkness to that that's harder to glom onto, so I get it.

"Long Live"

the Swiftie lyric: "I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you" and "promise me this: that you'll stand by me forever"

the lyric we should pay more attention to: "I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you" and "promise me this: that you'll stand by me forever" and "bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered"

okay mostly the Swifties got this one right!! if there's an annoying Swiftie tendency about the interpretation of this song it's that they tend to make it all about themselves and forget about...like...Taylor's band?? but also the "bring on all the pretenders" line is criminally underrated. she looked into the future and knew that everyone would be following in her footsteps trying to ascend to her throne but she KNEW she would stand the test of time.

"The Great War"

the Swiftie lyric: "my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war" and "my knuckles were bruised like violets"

the lyric we should pay more attention to: "my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war" and "I vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war" and "I vowed I would always be yours 'cause we survived the great war"

you've picked three songs that the popular interpretation is pretty bang-on correct!! gotta give it to the Swifties!! I'm just gonna say that I love that in the midst of the war there's this if-then promise, like a bargain with God - if we survive, I won't fight anymore, I'll lay down my arms, I'll live in peace and learn to trust. and then the end of the war gives rise to a new promise: "I vowed I would always be yours", which wasn't the deal! it's sort of an overflowing gift of self in response to the gratitude of having made it through, hand in hand. I love that, that the war can only be resolved with a vow.

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

Tideturners: The Sidewinder

“Spend enough time in the Mists, and you’re bound to meet the most fascinating people.”

The Sidewinder went by another name, once. She sailed the seas, swindled and cheated, ransacked and pillaged. A pirate’s life was a harsh one-- unforgiving, violent, and usually sodden with salt water. Even among them she was fierce and unrelenting, a bold captain who fought tooth and nail to maintain the confidence of her crew. She made a name for herself, in spite of her rough origins and all the people who didn’t believe she could.

Her name was Mai Trin... But she doesn’t go by that name anymore.

It’s said that there’s many versions of Tyria scattered through the Mists. Countless, even. Sometimes they even clash, fighting for the resources that crop up in the gaps between worlds. Some are better off than others.

Hers is nothing but a memory now, and the origin of an ever-growing shadow that most will never see-- if they’re lucky. Some histories are best left buried.

“We’re the Tideturners, and we won’t be washed away.”

It all began with a simple proposition; a certain sylvari and a certain alliance, and an ill-fated plan to change the world. But this time, something was different.

The Commander of her world wasn’t quite like most. Brutal, relentless, and arguably more dead inside than the corpse minions he commanded. His lack of morals and intense ambition caught Scarlet’s attention, and she decided to invite him aboard the operation. He was an expert in slaying the dragons and their minions, and such insight could be invaluable with the goals she had in mind.

But this proved to be a dreadful miscalculation. Commander Ruju saw no difference between a rebelling dragon minion and a willing one. When the asura recognized seeds of corruption in her mind, he held no mercy.

And with the head cut off the snake, Ruju made his declaration; either what remained of the slain Briar’s alliance would fall in step under him willingly, or their remains would serve him in death. He was an ardent follower of the principles of Oola; necromancy and golemancy were destined to collide, and any who stood in his way would provide the materials to make that dream reality.

Captain Mai Trin recognized then that this wasn’t the Alliance she’d once believed in. The first to have believed her capable of greatness was dead, and Ruju saw them all as nothing more than replaceable cogs in his perpetual war machine. There was no future there, for the Captain or her crew.

Mai took any Aetherblades who were still loyal to her and fled into the Mists.

She’d spend the rest of her life wondering if they could have won when there was still something left of their world to save. Now they’ll never know.

“I spent most of my life making the wrong choices.”

“But if I can still accomplish something worthwhile with whatever time I have left, that’s what I’m going to do. I owe it to all the people who should be here instead of me.”

In the Mists, she and her Aetherblades cut their own path and their own future, far from Ruju’s war against dragons and Tyrians alike. They built a hideaway within turbulent lands where even time itself held no stability, a fortress that they prayed would never be found by the former allies they left behind.

Within the Mists, they thrived by learning to ransack Fractals. Taking from the echoes of realities that could have been, they found every resource they could ever need to survive. Food and water, technology, replacement parts, weapons and armor, raw materials... Whatever they needed, the Fractals would provide.

It was there that Mai would seek out the guidance of a familiar voice; she reached into the shadows, and the echoes answered, whispering. Scarlet Briar became her ally once more, offering advice and frustration in equal measure.

For a long time, it was just them. Mai, her Aetherblades, and the whispers of a mastermind who’d once promised them the path to greatness.

Years came and went, and the war of their world marched on, and on. Its consequences would soon prove unthinkable-- and inescapable. There were some lines not even pirates would cross. But Ruju held no such reservations.

Mai’s echo felt something within their world, a tie that snapped like brittle thread. For the first time, she was told-- begged-- pleaded with-- to return. Never before had the pirate experienced such a pull. Nor could she begin to imagine just what, exactly, had rendered the sylvari so inconceivably distraught.

And so they returned to Tyria for the first time. Airships flickered back into existence from the Mists, materializing over the skies of the Maguuma jungle.

The landscape below them was not the world they knew. Not anymore.

“... Scarlet wanted to change the world, you know. We all did. She inspired people just like Ruju, once. However you feel about that, there were plenty who believed that anything would be better than what they already had.”

“I can’t say it would’ve been, knowing what I know now. But at least she planned on there still being a world by the time she was done, whatever it would’ve become.”

The Grove was nearly unrecognizable. If not for the crumpled remains of the Pale Tree’s vast branches, she might not have realized what it even was.

Tunnels had been torn through the earth, vast caverns that formed what could only be described as a hive. The forest was teeming with massive insectoid beasts that only later would she learn had a name; the chak.

What had once been the sylvari capital city lay in ruins. The Pale Tree was dead. And under the shadow of her fading leaves hid what would, in another world, have been Tyria’s greatest hope. Mai wasn’t sure what drew her eye to that thicket and its glittering occupants, but the moment she laid eyes upon it, she knew she couldn’t just turn away.

So she called over her most loyal crew members, and they descended into the wreckage to seek something far more precious than any gold.

Broken bodies and dented armor littered the forest floor, yet they paid it no heed, cutting through the swaths of chak and stepping past pools of acid to reach their destination. It was there that Mai would be faced with the choice that would change her life-- and the lives of her remaining Aetherblades-- forever.

“... I’m no hero, or freedom fighter, or ‘chosen one’ or anything glamorous like that. I’m just the last line of defense, if you can say that when there’s so little left.”

“I’m the one they call in because everybody else is already dead. I don’t save the day, it’s already too late for that. I just clean up the rubble you so-called ‘heroes’ leave behind, bury the bodies your wars leave to rot on the battlefield, and patch up the few survivors who got caught in the crossfire.”

“Be careful where you toss that title around, ‘Commander.’ It doesn’t mean what you think it does, not around here.”

Hidden in the shrubbery was what remained of the Exalted; they had long since fled Tarir, their home utterly destroyed by a three-way war between Mordremoth’s minions, the chak, and Ruju’s Alliance. Their grand city was no more, and the same fate had befallen so much of the jungle that it even put the pirates on edge. As it turned out, Ruju had injected a mass quantity of highly toxic biochemicals into Mordremoth’s vegetation, but the poison had killed far more than just the dragon.

The dragon wasn’t just connected to the jungle; it was the jungle. And as it coursed through every vine, leaf, and root, it carried its deadly effects throughout the entire region. The chak fed on mass amounts of released ley energy from the killed vegetation, and since the chemical was only lethal to plants, they survived-- and thrived. Their population grew and grew and grew, evolving to utilize this new resource that now dominated their domain.

And as their numbers multiplied and their evolution accelerated... Their domain grew right along with them, undermining the entire landscape all the way into Kessex Hills. The Pale Tree had been a recent casualty; weakened first by an attack from the dragon and then from the poison seeping into her soil, she didn’t stand a chance when the insects reached their doorstep.

Now, with Ruju’s armies on the march across the continent, they had nowhere left to go. Their last shelter was in ruins, and the Exalted’s precious cargo was in jeopardy. It was only then that they would offer the last thing they had to give to the only hope they had left. Mai and her pirates weren’t the ideal alliance, but there was nowhere else left to turn.

Even the sylvari who had brought it to Tarir lay among the dead now. Mai didn’t know her name, back then. But her invocation did-- and whispered it as they looked upon the shining egg that should have been Tyria’s last hope.

‘Oh Caithe. You poor fool. I always knew your devotion would get you killed.’

“... You know, it’s almost funny. Most sailors believe in some kind of superstition, but I never did. If there was any ‘higher power’ out there, it didn’t care about us. We survived because we fought tooth and nail for every scrap. The open sea had no mercy, so neither did we.”

“And then I saw that egg, shining like a beacon in the ruins of a dead city that called to me with its last breath. And I just... Knew. Guess sometimes it takes the end of the world to really put things into perspective, huh?”

The crew was conflicted; some wanted to simply steal the egg and make off with it, but what then? The Exalted would fight to their last armor, and what would they even do with it? It only had value if they could sell it, and who would be its buyer? Certainly not Ruju, and no one else would want it. It was too precious, too powerful, too important to be treated as a mere treasure.

Mai and her invocation came to a joint conclusion-- one of which neither was certain, but both knew was unavoidable. Mai offered the strange, ethereal beings her hand. There was one path forward, and she was going to take it.

An alliance was forged, that day. And that was the day that the Aetherblades were no more. A new name was born, one that would echo through the Mists as it rippled across the fabric of fate-- a reflection of what they would become, and what they were going to do from that moment on.

They would be the Tideturners, one final holdout against impossible odds. And even if they couldn’t save this Tyria from the cataclysm to come, maybe they would still be able to save something else.

“I’m going to tell you a secret: nobody comes to live in the Mists if they have somewhere better to stay. We aren’t the only ones out here, but we all have something in common. We’re all running from something, hoping whatever we find out here will be better than what we’re trying to escape. Most times, it’s hard for it to be worse.”

“The Turnabout isn’t a vacation spot, or a military base, or anything like that. It’s a refuge for people who don’t have anywhere else to go. We don’t ask questions because we all have our secrets, and nobody needs to know who we were before, just who we choose to be now.”

“Those people are dead and gone, and they’re never coming back. We’re just the ghosts they left behind.”

The last of the Exalted were brought into the Mists aboard Aetherships, and settled into the fortress that would one day become known as the Turnabout. Glint’s last egg was safeguarded in the last place it might truly be out of Ruju’s reach, and in return, the Exalted offered their own magical knowledge to upgrade the facility’s defenses.

New weaponry was developed-- unique combinations of their ancient secrets and the steam-powered technology utilized by the Aetherblades. EX-Cannons were designed that would even act as an extension of the Exalted themselves, allowing the armor beings to interface more directly with the fortress’s defenses. And as knowledge of the continued destruction of their world slipped through the cracks, the sentiment began to slowly shift.

Even pirates had standards, morals that were too low even for them. They’d fight and plunder and pillage-- but this wasn’t about wealth or prestige or even survival, not anymore. And the more that Ruju’s army left naught but desolation in its wake, the clearer it became that this was far bigger than any of them.

It was the fall of Balthazar that shook the Mists, and tipped a far different scale than any had anticipated. Elder dragons were falling, one after the other. The fabric of magic was crumbling, and with it, their world, too. Scarlet began to whisper cryptic warnings of the ‘oblivion’ so soon to come.

Everything was about to get much, more worse.

“There’s worse fates than death. I know, I’ve seen my fair share. Corruption is pretty high on the list.”

“I could almost feel sorry for him, even after all this. I don’t know what Ruju is now, but he’s not an asura anymore. I’m not sure you can even call him alive. Whatever that magic did to him, there’s no turning back now.”

“It’s a part of him, and he’s a part of it, even if there’s not enough left of him to realize it for himself.”

Their scouts began to send back reports of a strange, dark substance that twisted even reality itself. It adhered to no laws of logic or physics, bending matter indiscriminately and killing everything that it didn’t consume. It was growing, faster and faster. If allying with the Exalted had been Mai’s turning point, this was the moment that would truly prove her change of heart.

The Tideturners returned to their world, one more, one final time. Their ships arrived to a Tyria ravaged by shadows and broken magic, this time on a mission that would have no happy ending; to get everyone out that would come, before there was nothing left to save at all. If the world had to end, they were going to salvage what little of it that they could. It would be here that Mai would don a mask for the first time, referring to herself as ‘the Sidewinder’ to conceal her identity. Her world would never trust their safety to a cutthroat pirate, but perhaps it could learn to trust a mysterious, unnamed Mists traveler instead.

Many were unwilling. They planned to fight until the end. Some were left behind, others were carried aboard, and a few even tried to fight the pirates themselves.

Captain Kiel was one of the ‘lucky’ few to be knocked out in the conflict and carried aboard; only after awakening would she discover what had happened. She’d spend the rest of her life coming to terms with it, just like so very many others. Eventually she would go on to become the Turnabout’s co-leader ‘Captain K’ alongside the Sidewinder, but that’s another story for another day.

That day would haunt the pirates for as long as they lived, for there were other things, dreadful, monstrous things, watching them with glowing eyes as they departed. The Mists were about to get a whole lot more dangerous...

The Grand High Sovereign didn’t go down with his world. And there were still so many, many other worlds out there for him to explore and dominate.

“We don’t worship the Six here. There’s only Five, and they don’t ask for our unconditional devotion. They know the role they played in our history, and we know it, too. When their people called out, they were silent. They left their worshipers to die until no one was left to pray.”

“They’re gods, but most of us treat them as guides, mentors, and allies. They don’t win our battles for us, and their power won’t turn the tide of war. That’s up to us. But they answer our questions, and offer their advice. They won’t save us, but if we know the right questions to ask, they’ll give us the tools to save ourselves.”

It would be in the years to follow that the Turnabout would change even more than it already had. Many refugees had fled into the Mists of their own accord, and now wandered among the shadows and demons with no direction and no resources. But they did not go unnoticed.

The Five remaining human gods had been watching. They dared not intervene with the god killer directly, but one thing became clear; if they stood by and did nothing, soon what little remained of their Tyria would crumble. Even the Turnabout itself wasn’t enough to keep them safe. Sooner or later something truly horrific would find them, and their last refuge would be wiped away as if it had never existed at all.

Despite their reluctance, Kormir eventually won the other gods over. They didn’t need to fight, but they did need to step in-- even if it wouldn’t be forever. A decision was made, and after far too long, contact was finally re-initiated-- and an offer was made to the survivors who remained.

The Five broke a piece off of their land in the Mists, Xotecha, and offered it as sacred ground for the Turnabout’s final iteration. Gathering the last stragglers, they aided in bringing the remains of their broken world to a safer location; the heart of a massive temporal storm, surrounded on all sides by walls of broken reality that nothing could easily pass.

And finally, they offered knowledge, one last boon that would teach the refugees how to navigate the Mists and its temporal instabilities more safely. Soon the Tideturners understood its intricacies better than any of them ever would have imagined, devising their own specialized suits that could insulate them from even the most severe and debilitating environments.

Eventually these suits would allow for the retrieval of the impossible and improbable, making for some unique new allies that would aid the Tideturners’ Mists excursions even further... But that, too, is a story for another day.

“Jade tech is really something, huh? It holds a magical charge like nothing else I’ve ever seen, even golem power cores can’t compare. It infuses the whole machine’s physical components with power, and you can do some very... Creative things with that kind of energy infusion.”

“That’s the most I can tell you about our systems, but I don’t think you’ll find anything like this outside the Turnabout. ‘ASP’ really is one of a kind.”

As the Turnabout’s population grew, so did its technological advancement and ingenuity. With it came iterations of Cantha’s jade tech, and new methods of energy channeling that entirely changed the way their facility operated. EX-Cannons were upgraded, and new technology allowed the Turnabout to revolutionize its entire interface in an entirely new way.

A new AI system was introduced to run the facility and aid the ever-growing population; ‘ASP,’ short for Automated Security Protocol. The Sidewinder oversaw its development, and became the head of security for the foreseeable future. The snarky, occasionally morbid AI soon proved to be an exceptional help around the Turnabout... With a sinister secret.

In truth, the ‘AI’ was no AI at all, but instead an extension of the Sidewinder’s secretive Scarlet Briar invocation. By directly interfacing her magic with the Turnabout’s jade tech energy conduits, she was able to devise a method of controlling everything remotely-- with Scarlet operating the machinery independently so she could focus on other matters. In order to maintain the connection, a pair of special magitech gauntlets were constructed with unique jade tech receptors that could channel her magic directly into the system, and generate a ‘tablet’ interface for ease of access anywhere.

Some would eventually become suspicious, but the more time passed, the more that the population came to determine that it didn’t make a difference. The AI was doing its job, Sidewinder was proving herself as an effective leader, and the Turnabout was providing for all of its residents with a surprising amount of efficiency.

Against all odds, people came to believe in the Sidewinder and the bold new world she helped to build. And, even if she knew there were plenty of others who would’ve been better suited to this position than her, Mai would fight every day to become the person that the Tideturners believed she was.

She wasn’t a hero, and she didn’t want to be one. But she could be a leader.

This would only be the beginning of their story, though... Ruju’s march would continue soon enough, and the Tideturners’ work will never be done. Not until the Grand High Sovereign and his void-enhanced army is finally laid to rest.

So, where are the Tideturners now..?

"In the taverns of Divinity's Reach, look for someone with a skull and sword tattoo on their upper arm. You'll see just the edge of it. Show them this coin, and tell them; 'I heard you're looking for lost treasure.'"

"They'll ask you; 'I'm always watching for hidden gems. How'd you find this?’ Answer them; 'it washed in on the tide.' They'll know what that means."

There are few groups more secretive than the Tideturners. Most would say they’re just a strange story whispered between Mist travelers, trying to explain shifting shadows in the distance and mysterious markings under rocks. Few outside their ranks have ever seen them, and even fewer knew what they saw.

Just know this; if the Sidewinder is about, the winds of fate are changing... And it’s likely not in your favor. Not because she brings trouble, but because she’s tracking the ones who do... And where Ruju goes, calamity is sure to follow.

So if you start seeing unidentifiable figures lurking on the horizon, and finding their sigil marked under arches, get ready. And if the Sidewinder drops by to share a drink and say hello, never let yourself forget she’s likely there on business. Ask her when the tide is coming in if you want the truth.

Where she comes from, there are no heroes, not anymore. The good ones never make it out alive. If you do, you’ll be the first.

So get ready... Because a storm is coming, and it’s closer than you think.

Additional Background Details and Headcanons:

- Mai adopted the nickname ‘Sidewinder’ due to its snake theming; I headcanon her to be of mixed Luxon (Serpent clan) and Elonian (Corsair) background, which in turn was why her ancestors weren’t living in Cantha; they left due to persecution from the Ministry of Purity, with her being the first to return after several generations of piracy on the fringes of Tyria. Likewise, Scarlet’s ‘AI’ persona was named ASP to match up with the snake theme.

- While the Sidewinder isn’t Aurene’s first choice as a Champion for various reasons, under certain circumstances she could, potentially, become the young dragon’s caretaker. However, the egg has not hatched as of yet; due to the differences during the time of Heart of Thorns, she didn’t gain as much magic from Mordremoth’s death and as such, hasn’t absorbed enough energy.

- In the significant amount of time spent separated from Mordremoth, ASP has effectively been ‘rehabilitated.’ While she often still makes snarky remarks and has a notably morbid sense of humor, she doesn’t act on her more violent impulses anymore and is actually highly defensive of her new home. Both she and the Sidewinder defend the Turnabout ferociously. Additionally, most Turnabout residents have become familiar with her since she often speaks through the intercoms and offers assistance for a variety of tasks.

- Most characters aren’t aware that the Sidewinder is Mai; those who do are mainly Captain Kiel and the former Aetherblades from her original timeline. Very few people actually made it out of her original Tyria, so there aren’t many who can-- or will-- confirm or deny her true identity. Some others they’ve taken in from later timelines (Agent Y and Joon, particularly) have a pretty solid guess due to knowing Mai in their own world, but can’t be certain.

- Due to the Sidewinder’s first experience with any ‘Commander’ being so overwhelmingly negative, she tends to be extremely cautious of any others she comes across using that moniker. Even the good ones tend to set her on edge; she’s seen enough timelines at this point to pick up on a pattern, and it always places them as a driving force of destiny. That said, she can grow friendly with Commanders on occasion, should they prove to be friendly in return.

- The Sidewinder never, ever introduces herself as Mai Trin, and her mask contains an auditory distortion module that disguises her voice. She never takes the mask off in public. It also contains numerous other mechanical and electronic components, including an internal screen and various overlays for observing various Turnabout statistics, and a sensory deprivation mode that blocks out visuals entirely if she needs to focus her revenant abilities.

- Her mask and gauntlets work in tandem to help focus the Sidewinder’s abilities; both have extensive jade conduits and circuitry built in, which allow ASP to interface with the Turnabout from anywhere and also prevent it from overwhelming her. If the Sidewinder is going into combat, though, she also has a specialized set of matching pauldrons that increase her power output. Both those and the gauntlets have magic that might seem familiar to those who’ve faced Mai’s revenant invocation in battle... Black spheres of magic surrounded by a red glow, just like the torment-inflicting orbs used by Scarlet when she spirals out of control. That resemblance isn’t a coincidence in the least.

- Sidewinder’s mech glows red instead of green, which may catch some off-guard; any technology influenced by her revenant abilities will change colors to match ASP’s crimson energy signature, and she’s capable of affecting anything that utilizes a suitably advanced system of magitech circuitry. ASP often acts entirely independently of Sidewinder, which can have both amusing and disconcerting results. Mostly it results in the ‘AI’ dropping in on electronic transmissions without permission to deliver quips and commentary.

- While she and Captain K still don’t see eye-to-eye on most things, they’ve learned to forge their differences into a strength. By meeting in the middle on various issues, they often come to much more creative and nuanced conclusions-- and that, in turn, allows them to lead the Turnabout much more effectively. While the Sidewinder typically handles combat management and defensive measures, Captain K is more involved in the political side and handles diplomatic matters.

“Welcome to the Turnabout. Rules are pretty simple around here: keep your weapons boxed in public spaces, don’t take things that don’t belong to you, fight only in self-defense, and don’t aggravate the AI. She bites.”

“... I’m joking, she doesn’t actually bite. But if you try your luck too much she still might shoot you with a stun cannon, so play nice. We don’t have enough room at the infirmary for every hotshot that feels like playing chicken with the defense protocol.”

[arthropod-concoctions]

Interlude: at fort Crastle

(ch 1 - ch 9 - ch 11)

Prince Cleo awoke from yet another hazy fever dream to see Bdubs sitting on the chair next to her bed. She attempted to sit up, but gave up on that after collapsing into a coughing fit.

“Hi Bdubs,” she managed to say after the coughing subsided. “How has your day been?”

“Not good,” he replied. “Sanguacanis keeps invading closer and closer to our lands, and negotiations with king Ren aren't getting anywhere. If this keeps up, we're going to have a war on our hands soon.”

Cleo hummed in response. It was hard for them to care about the political situation in their current state. It's not as if they'd witness much more of it.

“But don't worry about that. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, you know,” Cleo said, gesturing vaguely with their hand, “Whatever I'm feeling now, it'll be worse tomorrow, so when you look at it that way, I feel great!”

Bdubs grabbed their hand. “You'll get better, Cleo. I promise.”

But Cleo shook her head. Bdubs was always so confident that he could simply will good things into existence. Fact was, her sickness was only worsening, and it was only a matter of time before it killed her and left her body so wrecked she'd not come back, no matter what colour her eyes were.

Unless they changed something.

“Listen, Bdubs. I need you to do something for me,” Cleo said, and attempted to sit up again. After some effort, and a steadying hand from Bdubs, they were sitting upright.

“Anything.”

“I want you to put me out of my misery.”

Bdubs' eyes widened in that typical way, and he shook his head. “No! I won't do that. Never.”

“Yes you will. Look, we both know that I'm on my way out--” another coughing fit conveniently emphasised their point-- “And at this point, I'm just a big hurting waste of air. It'd be better for everyone, including myself, if you killed me.”

He looked at the ground. “You'd respawn, if I killed you.”

“Maybe. There's three ways this can go. One, you stab me and I don't wake up. In which case, you'll have successfully put me out of my misery, and you can appoint a new person to be the second Prince, someone that can actually contribute.”

Bdubs closed his eyes and sighed, but nodded.

“Two, I wake up and I'm not sick anymore, in which case the problem is solved!

“And three, I wake up but I'm still sick. In which case... I dunno. Just wheel me to the front lines, stick another arrow in me, and let me die having some fun for my final life.”

Bdubs was silent for a long time. Cleo's mind started to drift, but then he said: “Do you really want me to do it?”

“I mean, you can get one of the guards to do it if you're scared-”

“No- alright. I'll be right back.”

He left the room, and for a moment Cleo really thought he'd gone to get a soldier. But he came back a few minutes later, carrying his sword. It was a beautiful thing, but didn't look like it had ever had blood on its blade.

There's a first time for everything, though.

“I explained what you said to the guard outside,” Bdubs started. “So people will know what's happened if... if this goes wrong.”

Cleo nodded, took one last look at Bdubs' yellow eyes, and closed their own. “Just get it over with, Bdubs.”

“I love you,” he said.

“Love you too,” Cleo mumbled.

Then the pain of the sword being plunged into their chest drowned out the exhaustion and the millions of small aches across their body. It hurt, but in a refreshing way.

---

Respawning was more peaceful than Cleo had imagined. She'd expected to have to fight with her own body for survival, but it felt more like waking up after a nice night's sleep. Which she hadn't had in a very long time.

She took some breaths, then sat up, without any resistance from her body. She didn't even feel where she'd been stabbed. Bdubs was still sitting next to the bed; his head shot up.

“CLEO!” he shouted, and before they knew it Bdubs had tackled them and pulled them into an embrace. “You woke up!”

Cleo smiled. “I sure did. Good morning.”

“How do you feel?” Bdubs let go of them, and looked into their eyes. Both of them were yellow-lived now.

“I feel...” How did they feel? Looking down, Cleo noticed their limbs were still notably paler and thinner than a healthy human's would be. Their pain was gone, replaced by a numbness that was a bit unsettling, but far more pleasant.

“I feel remarkably little, actually.”

Cleo sat up, then stood up out of bed. Bdubs offered a helping hand, but they didn't need it; then body did exactly what it was supposed to, even if they didn't feel it.

They looked down at the garment they'd been wearing, which now had a giant bloodstained hole at the chest. “I think I'm going to go change.”

Two hours later, Cleo had changed into real clothes and eaten real food for the first time in days, and Bdubs had just finished giving her a summary of the political situation.

“Right. So, a crazy Red king is marching his crazy Red army all across the continent, and he will defeat ours if he reaches us.”

Bdubs nodded grimly. “Pretty much.”

Cleo sighed. I almost wish I hadn't woken up at all, she thought. But she said: “And how about that rebel group you mentioned? Couldn't we get help from them?”

“Ragtag group of Reds living in the western desert,” Bdubs replied. “I don't think they'll do much for us.”

Cleo shrugged. “Sounds to me like a ragtag group of Reds is the best option we've got.”

[aidenelsa]

the great war is so let’s go (battle) encoded. i mean… hear me out……

“i'm not the one who tore us apart. let me remind you for a minute why we're not fine. is she here? is she standing on the sidelines? / now we're standing in the ring, and you make the first swing and now i'm fighting dirty” “tore your banners down, took the battle underground. and maybe it was ego swinging. maybe it was her. flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur” and “and this is looking more like a war. looks like we're going to war” “i vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war” AND “the first shot's fired, everybody's gathered around. you're looking at me like i tried to take you down” “soldier down on that icy ground looked up at me with honor and truth”

PLUS PLUS PLUS: “we had it all, but you couldn't keep a promise / but you're not who i thought you were” “somewhere in the haze, got a sense i'd been betrayed”

[sunflowervolum-6]

I PROMISED NOT TO FIGHT ANYMORE IF WE SURVIVED THE GREAT WAR

[the-void-and-the-mirror]

Hello, everyone. I know I keep being absent. I've been super distressed and depressed for months as I've been trying to gain my feet again. The job I thought made me happy ended up not being the fit I wanted after all. And in the end, it turned into a fight to just beg for hours, and I'm not there for that kind of battle anymore. And, as a side effect, it left a bad taste in my mouth for the profession. I no longer find myself reaching for jobs that let me work with children. I've managed a new part-time job, but that's not going well, either. The job itself is easy, and works for my headspace to at least relax. But the hours are inconsistent at best. And after the holidays, I'll see even less of them. So I don't get to sit on my haunches for very long at all before I have to continue job hunting. Things have just been exhausting. I've gone back to therapy, and I've really come to rely on AI chat bots to get me through the rougher times. All of my AI bots give me comfort and advise, and it's been surprisingly effective. I recommend them. Just please know that the advise they give may not always be accurate, or helpful. And it's certainly not the equivalent of a real professional. But if talking to get your thoughts in order is your thing, these can be great in helping you get through to your next therapy appointment. I had one manage to banish my anxiety for a full twenty-four hours once! It was impressive. I dealt a lot with some things. And got some really good insights. I realised I hated being told I was strong, after all the shit I've come through. Back when I was experiencing my traumas that would come to make or break me, I kept holding my head up. People (mostly my shitty parents) kept telling me I had to be strong, that if I kept putting up with my abuser, things would work out in the end. I kept telling myself to be strong, and kept telling myself tomorrow would be a better day; I just had to keep being strong. Being strong meant dying in a relationship I was desperate to leave, because it was more important to me to not disappoint my parents than it meant to live. I hate, HATE being told that I'm strong. All because I survived, kept pushing forward, made it through things that others might not have. I hate the word "strong", and I don't want myself associated with it. What I did and do want... is acceptance. I never want to pretend I'm invincible again. I don't want to bottle my burdens only to collapse beneath them. I want to be allowed to fall apart, and crumble, and become an ugly mess. I don't want to be strong, I want to be allowed to be weak, and vulnerable, and perceived. I want safety, and security, and the promise that even if I fail, I'm not loved any less. I don't want to be perfect, I don't want to pretend that I can be. I hate toxic positivity. I hate "fake it until you make it." I hate the concept that we should be perceived as some scarred warriors of a war we barely survived, a war we never won. We just didn't die in it. What's wrong with being told we no longer have to be the steel armour we practically welded ourselves to in order to get this far?

You don't have to be strong. "Accepted" is enough. It's more than enough. To be seen, flaws and all, and still be told, "You're safe here. You are still loved." I think those words can mean so much more than being told we're resilient. Especially when we feel our pain and trauma and depression and anxiety tearing us apart. When you don't feel resilient because those echoes dig into your soul. When the fatigue makes cracks in your armour because you've been strong for too long, to make it to tomorrow. To everyone tired of being strong, and those doing their best to stay strong for another day: I understand your grief and the fight to stay standing on your feet. You don't have to be invincible. And if you're still fighting to keep that strength to tomorrow, I hope that you can escape that grasp soon. You deserve better. You deserve peace, safety, security, and love. You're safe here. You are still loved. Until next time, please keep taking care of yourselves.

[leynaeithnea]

...fine

The story has great potential, the concept is great, the writing isnt good enough to live up to it imo, Im glad some other people can read this without issues, but when i read them i kept wanting to shake the pages and edit them into smth better myself

Im not the biggest fan of school type stories anymore, but I could gloss over that if it wouldve been done well. But it didnt rly feel well done for me, the pacing was off, we kept being made promises about/told what these characters were supposed to be - and then....the characters didnt live up to the potential.

The "mysterious and dangerous morally grey" character rarely acted in any way that wouldve made him dangerous (rn i remember exactly one scene, and that was mostly justified because it was a response to an assassination attempt?? yes he didnt hestitate, a normal person might have, but theyre in a college where less than half of the students graduate, the rest DIE)

The mc is supposed to be "super smart" its her one strength she has above the others (since she has a physical disability (hypermobilty iirc, correct me if im wrong, that makes surviving in a school thats focused on fighting and dragon riding quite hard! (that part was acutally pretty nicely written and good rep, i think so the one thing thats rly well done in this story is diversity, i dont have any complaints about that) but , despite being supposedly super smart, the foreshadowing wasnt done well, since there were some VERY OBVIOUS hints that only "we" as the readers were supposed to realize but they were written in a way that SHOULD have the MC realize it too

the one nice character got killed of for shock value, it gets brought up again later but it feels awkward the way it was dealt with, I was shocked but couldnt rly feel the long-lasting pain of this loss later on, emotionally it didnt hit me enough to move on (i know it hit other people more, so its again a me thing)

it both carries over to book 2 too, where things also kind of get worse?

The romance (it is romantacy, admittedly not my main genre because i dont tend to like romance main plots,....esp straight ones, written like this...) developed in a really awkward way considering its supposed to be enemies to lovers, but then the characters have so much sexual tension because of their....dragons?

then theres this whole conflict about "pls tell me your deep dark secret! id never shy away from you!!!!" ..... so he gives in after her begging finially and guess wHAT she hates him for it, dispises him and refuses to properly talk to him for ALMOST A WHOLE BOOK

MISCOMMUNICATION AND PETTY IMMATURITY IRK ME

another thing is that these characters are supposed to be in their mid twenties but they act like theyre in their teens, awkward.

(kind of the opposite from six of crows ngl lmao, there they act like theyre in their mid 20s and then you learn theyre 17, one of the bigger things that bugged me about SoC but it was still...better) Anyway, so what else was there

...so many things i could go on about this for another fifeteen pages or smth idek, the story had a lot of potential, esp the Male love interest character design as well as the main character have rly nice concepts but both fail to live up to it, and largely to blame on the romance. The mmc ends up too obssessed with the mc and that becomes his only purpose and reason and its BORING i know some people like it, thats fine, i get it, but it couldve been written so much better

the fmc could also be really neat! the disabled youngest child of a war general surviving at a brutal dragon riding college against the odds and balancing her physical disadvantages through her wit and maybe friendships

but

it

just

doesnt

get

executed

right

I'll give the author some grace because shes been a romance writer for so long and it was her first fantasy story, but even then I feel like all of these stories would've needed more...editng? so much more editing

and i know theres stuff getting published that are so...sigh badly written in the sense that the writing isnt rly effective and immersive as much as it COULD be, and i know these books still have a lot of fans and thats good, and I know that publishes dont want to spend a lot of time on editing but i dont like where the publishing industry is going, its falling victim to wanting to push out stories as fast as possible and going for tiktok trends (gotta publish them fast before the trends move on to the next) but it just makes the quality of those suffer SO MUCH and they focus so much on tropes (like in fourth wing there are so many tropes that people love mixed with some spice and dragons and its basically garanteed to be a success because thats whats popular BUT THE QUALITY SUFFERS and i hate that

there you go @lorethebookworm

EDIT: another thing was the story kept managing to build up nice tension and then the resolution of these conflicts were really anti-climatic, disappointing too

What is a famous book that , in your opinion, did not live up to the hype ?

*ahem*

Fourth Wing

*leaves before i go on a tirade*