#“i could make a dresden files reference out of this” “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

[autixel]

I've told irls about my obsession with the dresden files and my characters in the dresden files.

I've been called insane multiple times.

I was told by one that they'd use this new information to torture me.

But.

It has been I that tortures.

I that gives psychic damage.

I haven't even shared everything.

I merely have to speak the name and it's a one hit kill.

It is good to be an autixel.

[semper-legens]

22. Hallow Point, by Ari Marmell

Owned: Yes Page count: 325 My summary: Mick Oberon, Fae private eye, is up to his pointed ears in trouble. First the Spear of Lugh is sighted in Chicago. Then every Fae in the vicinity decided they wanted their hands on the thing, and won’t take no for an answer. Caught between loyalty, obligation, blackmail, and his own judgement, Mick is forced to make some tough choices. How can he keep everyone’s hands off the thing without getting himself caught in the crossfire? My rating: 4/5

More Mick Oberon! I really like these books, if you can’t tell. They’re exactly my type of fiction, different types of shameless genre fic slammed together and somehow it works. Fae and private detectives aren’t a natural fit, especially if you want your mysteries to be somewhat fair - the presence of magic complicates things a lot, and allow for twists and turns out of left field that the reader has no way to be able to anticipate. But hey, the Dresden files have their fans, why not this one? Honestly, if the idea of a Fae private eye appeals to you in any way, read these damn books, you won’t regret it. Anyway. Let’s get into it!

Mick continues to be a really engaging protagonist. I don’t know what it is about him, his style of hardboiled sarcastic narration is the type that totally could get annoying after a while, but I never once lost my focus on him and his world. It helps that, as the story progresses, we do learn more about how Mick fits into this world. His backstory is still a mystery, it’s true, other than some vague references to him having been an aes sidhe prince at once point, and Oberon being his second cousin. But dammit, I love this ridiculous man! He’s practical, he’s sensible, and most of all, he’s caring. It’d be so easy to create a 1930s private eye character who is bigoted, or a Fae character who doesn’t care about humanity, but Mick cares deeply! He hates to see bigotry or injustice, he hates to see humans being endangered by the forces of magic and the Fae, and it’s why I love him.

This book introduces Ramona, a femme fatale type who everyone falls in love with as soon as they see her. The joke, of course, is that Ramona ain’t exactly human. What she is isn’t revealed in this book, so I won’t talk about it yet, but hoo boy. The clever thing about Ramona is that the reader would find it so easy to dismiss the effect she’s having as being a trait of the genre. Sure, Mick falls for the first leggy woman who walks in the door, that makes sense in this kind of narrative. But no, you’d be wrong to think that, it’s an actual plot point! I hate Ramona so much, but in a good way. She’s a deliciously evil figure.

So what’s the actual plot? All the Fae of Chicago are looking for a powerful artefact called the Spear of Lugh, and if they get their hands on it, things are gonna go bad. For a variety of different reasons! It occurs to me while writing this that the book uses this device to flesh out the various factions of Fae - the Seelie, the Unseelie, the wanderers and hangers-on, and all of their various motivations - and do so in a natural and engaging way. The real drama is in watching Mick snake around their different machinations, trying to get to an outcome that’s best for him and also all of humanity. He’s got obligations to the Seelie, a debt to the Unseelie, and every other powerful Fae could probably kick his ass without too much trouble. But he really doesn’t want to see the humans and innocents of Chicago in danger and, thinking quickly, finally manages to get an outcome that suits everyone, as well as not causing any world-ending catastrophes. Yay, Mick!

Next up, a quick dip into YA, for a tale of accident and intrigue.

[davetheshady]

may I politely request ⭐dealer's choice director's commentary⭐for pretty much any part of Love is All You Need to Destroy Your Enemies?

Did you mean: infodump about Chapter 5?

We start off in medias res during Pteranodon Attack-Gate from Episode 4: PTA Meeting. Since most of the fic runs parallel to WTNV’s storyline for the first ~two years, the way I narrowed down which events to feature was to read through the transcripts and take note of which ones had Carlos, which ones featured science/magic/time travel-related elements, which ones had weird discrepancies or unsolved details that could be explained by Carlos/science/magic/time travel/all of the above, and which ones I just liked a lot. 

Incidentally, Cecil issues a correction that the winged reptiles in question were actually pterodactyls, not pteranodons, which was then promptly forgotten by the showrunners lol.

"—And then Kelly pulled her hamstring while they were doing the Fixing of a Nail position. I'm trying to convince her that she and Joe should do yoga together, I think it would really cut back on minor injuries and also they both look great in yoga pants. Anything new with you, Carlos?"

"Nothing that compares to... hamstring injuries," says Carlos, from his position on top of the Sciencemobile.

"All right," says Kate, adjusting an enormous pair of mirrored aviator shades. "Then describe the Barstow formation."

Since literal character doubling was such an important part of the plot, I had a lot of fun with thematic character doubling, too. Carlos and Kate (and the other grad students) are actually pretty close in age, and here we see her willing to put herself into danger to get the job done while casually chatting with her colleagues. Also, there’s a nice dose of karma for the books in Carlos having to deal with someone else oversharing details about their relationships, compounded by the fact that unlike his all of Kate’s are actually true. (In nicer doubling news: Kate is the one who gets her degree in science, has functional romantic relationships, AND continues to work in Night Vale, which are all eventually Carlos’ hashtag life goals.) 

"Maybe it was future you," asks Julie, who does not sound appropriately concerned for the potentially diverted course of the Currents of Time. Or for the potentially diverted course of the already unlinear life of Carlos.

This is the first conversation where she’s ‘Julie’ in his mental narration. I enjoyed having her be hilariously unsympathetic to his concerns here, because her priorities are still very different, but it also sets up a baseline. She doesn’t bother worrying about hypotheticals from the weird shit, but actual hard data (like, Carlos not sleeping and having minor breakdowns in her lab) is what prompts her to share reactions besides SCIENCE! and snark.

His stomach roils at the thought of more time travel. "Some kind of illusion is more likely," he says: some person or creature temporarily assuming his form, probably for sinister purposes. He reluctantly adds those weird doubles from the sandstorm to his list of possible suspects, though his dissolved right in front of him in the middle of next March and there haven't been any sandstorms recently.

oh hey haha what’s that

One of my biggest pet peeves in fiction is when allegedly intelligent characters ignore obvious plot points so the writer can railroad the story in their chosen direction. On the other hand, it is genuinely difficult to avoid spoiling your plot twists if your main character is actively trying to figure them out. I leaned heavily on “the character has all the basic details… along with so much other information they can’t realistically narrow it down”, combined with some red herrings: an obvious one (illusion magic) and hopefully a more convincing one (time travel as the only relevant plot: it's DEFINITELY involved, but its presence is obscuring another facet of the plot altogether).

There's always a risk that astute readers will figure it out, but, like… so? That just means instead of shocking plot twist reveal, they get an “I KNEW IT!” reveal, which is equally satisfying in a different way. As long as the characters have convincing reasons for not figuring it out, it's hopefully still enjoyable to follow along with them as they wander around in the dark. 

(And just for clarification: that was Doppel-Carlos crashing the town hall meeting when he and Dr. Raith were testing out time vortices.) 

Andre hands him a copy of the Night Vale Daily Journal. “’Look your best to face the void. Smooth-chinned souls are most enjoyed’,” reads Carlos. “‘Burma-Shave.’”

"No, below the ads," says Andre.

1) ‘character reads wrong piece of information in paper’ is a classic goof (“There’s a sale at Penney’s!”) and I found it very amusing to repeatedly attribute it to Carlos, since he’s genuinely trying to locate the important information. Unfortunately for him, he lives in Night Vale and no longer has a filter for “useless nonsense”, because even the nonsense has proven relevant and/or kinda murdery before.

2) Burma-Shave! This was passed down to me as part of our Great American Roadtrip Family Lore (I come from a long line of roadtrippers) and it’s definitely the kind of kitschy 50s detail that fits so well in Night Vale.

"Oh!" says Cecil. "What were you studying?"

"Bioremediation for contaminated pit lakes via sulfur-reducing bacteria," says Carlos truthfully.

Why? Because I edited one of my friends’ papers on it, that’s why. (Birds kept landing on it and dying, which is also a very Night Vale detail.)

When he returns, he finds Cecil standing by the record player with his back against the wall, staring fixedly at Carlos’ vinyl copy of Ixnay on the Hombre.

One of the DF books (I think White Night) had a hilariously high number of characters showing up wearing band t-shirts, and Carlos’ was for The Offspring. (The original file name for this fic was Original Prankster, back when I thought it would be three chapters long.)

“It’s about a wizard stranded in a strange, uncharted desert territory,” [Cactus Judy] says serenely.

Cactus Jane! I decided to make her a recurring character because 1) she’s in a time travel episode (Episode 18: The Traveler), 2) both she and TMITJ had the detail where no one can remember their real name, which seemed significant, and 3) WTNV itself did not have very many recurring female characters at that point. She’s into Shakespeare because I personally knew a lot of relevant Shakespeare quotes, but also as a hint that’s she’s a lot older (and thus a lot more supernatural) than she seems: Shakespeare was a HUGE part of pop culture in the 19th century, particularly in the southwest. Theater companies used to make more money going on tour through states with precious metal mines than they did during their whole season in the big coastal cities, probably because jaded city folks never threw gold nuggets on stage to show their appreciation.

If life is a contest between good and evil, Cecil would be one of the people handing out stickers just for participating.

This is one of my favorite lines.

My plan is fool-proof! It's sheer elegance in its simplicity!

Look, if you enjoyed this fic, WTNV, and/or The Dresden Files, you should probably go watch The Middleman. Yes, I know it’s not streaming, do it anyway. Load up on antivenom and go rent it from your local library.

“Could you [create a time vortex]?""Oh, for sure," says Carlos. "All I'd need would be a couple years to do nothing but work on a highly illegal spell and figure out a way to steal an entire ley-line's worth of power and excise my sense of morality and self-preservation.”

And WHAT are the odds of THAT

It's not that Carlos doesn't like him. It just wouldn't be fair to lead him on when Carlos wouldn't actually—

Well, Carlos wouldn’t mind asking but he doesn’t normally go for—

Okay, Carlos could definitely make an exception for Cecil and—

And—

oh NO he accidentally used logic to make himself admit he has FEELINGS

One of the reasons I love this pairing is that you have Cecil, who is incredibly emotionally open (all the time, on public radio) as a distinct contrast to Carlos, who is so used to putting up a very specific facade that he even does it to himself and then struggles when he doesn't have it to rely on. It creates conflict, but it also means they have very different perspective they can share with each other. 

"Did the earth move for you, too?" says Cecil.

"Bwuh?" replies Carlos.

"At the monitoring station," says Cecil, because right, they're talking about science and not about how Carlos may or may not have accidentally developed a tiny, tiny crush on Cecil, who is standing right in front of him and looking extremely interested in what he's saying and will commit his words to memory and lovingly repeat them for all the world, or at least all of Night Vale and anyone else who received the same odd death curse as Carlos, to hear.

"Oh. Hmm – unh," replies Carlos, then shakes his head. Not talking, that's the way to go. That way he won't accidentally say something he doesn't mean, or worse, something he does mean but probably shouldn't say. Cecil can ask him science questions and he can shake his head yes or no, and maybe refer him wordlessly to supplementary materials, and it will all be very professional and—

"Where did you get your shirt?" asks Cecil. "It fits you so well."

"I'll look at my notes and computer models and see if I can figure out what's going on," Carlos blurts out, and practically runs from the room.

One of the reasons I started writing this fic (SEPTEMBER 2013, BABY god I feel old) was because we all knew Carlos was immensely important to Cecil, but had relatively little information about him, and ALL of it was filtered through our unreliable narrator. So… I just kind of ran with that. 

But on top of the obvious unreliability of “didn't notice Carlos was a wizard from a different series”, I wanted to do it on the smaller scale, too, and put a different spin on the touchstones of their growing relationship that everyone was already familiar with. So this interaction is now a crisis for both of them, and for dramatically/hilariously different reasons. 

“If you’re worried about going native, I’ve got bad news for you, buddy, because you do more chanting than anyone I’ve met.”

Another one of my favorite lines.

“I’ve had to hunt down people I know before, and trust me, it’s not a fun date night!”

Between Molly and fanon interpretations of Cecil, Carlos’ type is apparently 1) weird tattoos, 2) unusually-colored hair, and 3) can kill him

There's a brief hiss from the TV's speakers, and then Cecil says, in a small, forlorn voice, “I don't know if he listens to me, sometimes.”

Carlos puts his head down and laughs bitterly.

I LOVE IRONY 

But even though I wanted to subvert the surface meaning, Cecil DOES still have a point. He got a good look at Carlos’ soul when they first met and still fell in love instantly, but Carlos has a difficult time hearing that because at this point he fundamentally does not believe he’s worthy of that kind of love. In order to truly believe Cecil, he also has to start learning to love and accept himself. (It’s very much a work in progress, but nobody’s perfect.) The title isn’t just meant to refer to romantic love – self-love, friendship, familial love, and unconditional love for the humanity of his trash fire town are equally important, because they all support each other.

hmu for more dvd commentary!

[motherofmymotherreclist]

Forced Bonding

·       The Tie That Binds by leonidaslion (Supernatural, Explicit, 3K, 2011)

o   No one asks Sam what he wants.

o   [Wincest, incest, non-con elements, forced bonding, angst, John is a shitty parent, minimal smut]

o   This is the angsty fucked up version of a forced bonding fic. But I’m trash, so I love it.

·       Necessity by notboldly (Star Trek, Mature, 14K, 2010)

o   When Jim is attacked by a telepathic species, Spock bonds with him to save his life.

o   [slow build, romance, minimal smut, telepathy, empathy, bonding]

o   A classic forced bonding to save your life fic. Focuses on the discomfort of the sudden intimacy and how that brings them together.

·       ♥ ♥ Then You Think Again by leah k (blinkiesays) (Teen Wolf, Mature, 22K, 2012)

o   "You had no idea that it was going to work!" Stiles throws his hands up. Why is Derek the most frustrating werewolf in the history of ever, why is Stiles even helping him, why is this his life?  "Why did they even believe you in the first place?" Derek says, "You reeked of me," which is unfair.  Stiles only smelled because he'd gotten covered in Derek's bodily fluids trying to staunch the bleeding.

o   [bond or die, hags made them do it, bonding, forced intimacy, empathy, useyourwords!Derek, humor, sarcastic!Stiles, UST, pining, werewolf instincts, scent!kink, minimal smut]

o   Another one where Stiles’ voice is on point. Funny and tense with the UST. Forced bonding for the win. Their relationship builds really nice and organically.

·       Here Comes Your Man by hannahrhen (Avengers, Teen-Explicit, 25K, 2013)

o   (Reluctant!Soulmate AU) An unexpected bond forms between Tony Stark and one of his greatest enemies. But not everything before is forgotten, or forgiven.

o   [Tony/Loki, forced intimacy, dub-con, angst, bickering, denial of feelings]

o   This relishes in the awkwardness of forced intimacy as Tony has no understanding or patience for the bond. It’s laid out as a series, but really this should have been chapters of one fic.

·       ♥ ♥ Choices by Kethrua (Dresden Files, Mature, 28K, 2011)

o   In an AU to Changes, Harry sold himself to John Marcone instead of Mab. They both take a while to adjust to this. Written for the Kinkmeme, for a prompt requesting both serious treatment of the issues and smut. Contains non-explicit reference to past child abuse and rape.

o   [bonding, dubcon, magic, power imbalance, healing, hurt comfort, smut, trust issues]

o   I love this fic so much. It has perfect pacing and character development. The love and growing trust between the characters is so obvious and yet understated.

·       A Shove Towards Love  by General_Button (Voltron, Teen, 31K, 2016)

o   A simple rescue mission turns into chaos when the species on the planet Novaria take an interest in the lives of two of its paladins.

o   [Klance, meddling aliens, aliens made them do it, but there’s no smut, bickering, pining, mind meld, forced proximity, soul bond]

o   This is great example of the trope. Keith and Lance are somehow both pining and acting like they can’t stand each other at the same time, and you just want to smack them, until you don’t.

·       ♥  Debt of Honor by Brianna Falken (Star Trek, NC-17, 33K, 2009)

o   Six months after being taken prisoner and raped by a Vulcan captain, Kirk finds that same Vulcan is now being assigned as his first officer when peace between Vulcan and Earth is declared. Originally published in the print fanzine Beyond Dreams 7 (2004)

o   [Non-con, non-reform Vulcan, super angst, rape recovery, healing, bonding, slow build]

o   This starts with a pretty graphic rape scene so please take care of yourself, but if that isn't your trigger or you can get past the non-con, this is a lovely story about forgiveness and healing. It’s actually one of my favorite star trek fics, something about the characterization both breaks my heart and gives me all the feelz. Literally the definition of a fandom classic since it came out of a fanzine.

·       Defendere by Lomonaaeren (Harry Potter, Mature, 37K, 2012)

o   When Harry stumbles into a magical ritual meant to enslave Draco, he manages to create a bond that leaves Draco with some free will. And the ability to irritate Harry in the name of "guarding" him.

o   [Drarry, forced soul bond, dub con, lots of consent issues, free will issues, slow build, pining, UST, angst, forced intimacy]

o   This one felt weird because of all the consent issues, but it does deep dive into the forced bonding and intimacy, and it’s well written. I’m just not sure I think this relationship is actually healthy, but it’s fanfic so, ehhh. The author does address the consent issues, don’t get me wrong, I just couldn’t 100% believe that they were solved.

·       Unexpected Consequences by lauren3210 (Harry Potter, Explicit, 39K, 2015)

o   Harry was going back to school. He was going to play Quidditch, sleep in lessons, hang out with his friends, and generally just enjoy being a kid for a change. And he was also going to do it while being bonded with Malfoy, because apparently life was just going to continue throwing curveballs at him. Harry didn't know why he expected anything different.

o   [Drarry, slavery sort of, consent issues, slow build, healing, enemies to friends to lovers, trust issues, magic, bullying]

o   Draco is completely in Harry’s power and must learn to trust his jailor. It’s very good. One of those classic Drarry fics IMO. It’s what Defendere could have been.

·       ♥ Present  by reillyblack (Teen Wolf, Explicit, 112K, 2018)

o   When Stiles's best friend Scott presented as a werewolf, it was just the worst. Worst by far was that it meant Scott had to leave immediately to live with the werewolf pack in the mountains -- which no one knew anything about. Stiles couldn't even visit, so he only got to see Scott once a month when he came back to visit his mom. It sucked. A year later, he presents too.

o   [world building, ABO dynamics, werewolf dynamics, scent kink, inventive werewolf world, like—super inventive, soul mates, Oblivious!Derek, plot, smut, UST, pack dynamics, pack bonding, BAMF!Stiles, Stiles doesn’t take shit from anyone]

o   As you can tell from my tags, this fic has precious and wonderful world building. I absolutely adored it. It’s everything you could want from werewolves. It’s also well plotted and fun as hell.

·       Rare Merchandise by CateAdams (Star Trek, Explicit, 120K, 2015)

o   Jim and Spock are kidnapped by Orion slavers during a diplomatic mission, transported to a location outside of Federation space and sold to a mysterious woman who commands an entire world. Once there, they are forced to participate in her terrifying agenda: their friendship used against them and their strength brutally tested. Can they survive and escape, or will they be used to bring down the Federation itself?

o   [For want of a nail, angst, action, Non-con elements, character torture, forced bonding, mind meld shenanigans.]

o   This is a very action oriented fic that will keep you reading late just make sure everyone lives through it. It has some mind rape elements though, so be careful there.

·       ♥♥  other things the road to hell is paved with by LuciaZephyr (Dresden Files, Explicit, 138K, 2011)

o   Book One of the Matter of Chicago series. Diverges from the canon plotline from Fool Moon, chapter 23, running on the idea of Marcone not holding the Idiot Ball and thus getting Harry to sign his contract. Very slow burn romance. Essentially an AU take of the entire series.

o   [slow burn, deliciously slow burn, magic, power imbalance, magical contract, Oblivious!Harry, manipulative!Marcone, trust issues, plot]

o   This is one of those perfect fics. I don’t know what else to say; look up a summary of the Dresden Files and then read this if you haven’t read the books. It’s better than the source material. The bond is more an oath of fealty/obedience than the more traditional telepathy or empathy version.

·       Human is Just a Word by lady emebalia (emebalia) (Teen Wolf, Explicit, 173K, 2017)

o   Getting claimed by a werewolf has so not been on Stiles' agenda for the night. But at least he can choose whose human pet he's going to be. That's a plus, right?

o   [fuck or die, forced bonding, so much angst, slow build, pack dynamics, werewolves are known, BAMF!Stiles, scent kink, forced intimacy]

o   This has a lot of similar qualities to Present, so if you liked that, then you’ll probably like this too. It has a different concept of the intimacy of wolves and enough drama/tension to burst a blood vessel.

·       Bond by Anna Fugazzi (Harry Potter, Mature, 204K, 2006)

o   Yet another one of those Harry and Draco Are Forced To Be Together By Something Beyond Their Control And Then Stuff Happens Leading To Twoo Wuv stories.

o   [Drarry, fandom classic, fuck or die, UST, pining, smut, they eventually fuck like rabbits, magic compulsion, bonding, mystery, angst, loss of virginity]

o   This is the OG best of the best of Drarry bonding fics. If you haven’t read it and you like either Drarry or the bonding trope, then what even are you?

·       ♥♥ The Saffron Soul by BeautifulFiction_FMA (Fullmetal Alchemist, Explicit, 267K, 2010)

o   When a serial killer blurs the lines of alchemy in an effort to seal two souls together, Ed finds himself under suspicion from the police. Can he prove he is innocent, or are he & Roy doomed to suffer the consequences of the killer's ideals?

o   [RoyEd, BAMF!Edward, BAMF!Roy, murder mystery, action, adventure, dream sharing, empathy, plot, smut, slow burn]

o   This is one of my favorite fics of all time. I’ve reread it countless times. The characterization is amazing, the plot engaging, and the writing wonderful. All of her FMA works are great but this is the masterpiece.

[mo-torious-mo-blog]

Twitter.com/motorious_cafe

[CHANGING MY NAME TO: Mo (first name) Torious (last name)] i asked my parents if I could come up to westchester to have dinner with them, or to briefly stay while I looked for an apartment. They said no. It’s funny, Dr Tabar at Belkvue Hospital (Dr Mounir, intake), told me that I should cut off my relationship with my mother. The only reason my father asked me to attend her 80th birthday party, was to keep up appearances. Before the night was over, and after my speech (unmmmzm....I got you a car), he told me in no uncertain terms that I am no longer welcome in his house. I dove get it. His brother Ladipo Fayemi is a caseworker at HRA HASA, who never once intervened for me, and who nobody in that agency thought to refer my case to. Mr. McCoy, used to make fun of the name. No matter, I no longer want to be called that. I told them that since my father still continues to lie about not having received a copy of the doctored IRS Filings which Lucy Ostrofsky (acting in house counsel) had filed, directly ignoring my instructions, before I was forced out of the company and off the corporate bank account (it takes 3 members of management: myself, Richard McGinnis (Kurt Salmon Associates), President of Motorious Retail Stores (m&m/Mars Family: sponsor of Kyle Bush’s Toyota at NASXAR), patent holder, casino slot machine algorithms) and Philip Munger (who once, unbeknownst to me, withdrew $5,000 in cash from his personal Citibank account, and deposited it into my (the corporate) account, triggering FBI Money Laundering Red Flag: I have never even seen $5,000.00 in cash in one place in my entire life. I spent $500 to $10,000/month on my AMEX PLATINUM: and repaid it within 30 days. Beginning in 1992. Until I didn’t and went bankrupt for $60,000. Bottom line: I don’t trust the man, and he and I no longer have a relationship. All he and my mother have done is agree with the psychiatrists who keep diagnosing me with paranoid delusions that I run a company. All this, I believe, because the only company he ever ran, ended up in trouble with the IRS. I’m beginning to be really suspect about his book selling and his AIDS Charity for orphans in Africa. Before he kicked me out of the house, he asked me if I wanted to help him with his Foundation, and I said « no » I want German citizenship. A look at my brief work history shows I never stay in 1 place very long. What’s wrong with having wanted a change and to seek opportunities abroad? Science Advisers, led by Norman Heyman, Jean Robert Le Shufy, and Kevin DeVito (New Capital Horizons, the US arm of New Capital AG in Switzerland: COPE Holdings (XTERA DAX | NASDAQ) Zuggero, CEO | lent ICV, llc (Integrated Concepts Vehicles, llc, Flipboard.com/@ICV_llc, the first $137,000 after I had lent the corporation $60,000. MOTORIOUS MONEY GRID: says $100,000.00 loan am was made by Phil Munger on November 1, 1999. If that had been the case, why were none of the vendors at the show paid, and why did I receive a phone message on December 31, 1999 from Philip Munger: joe@planetvida.com.br, the DAY AFTER I received a message from Wayne Irving of Spin Records that he had secured $25 Million from ING Barings? My only Full Time Employee: John Goodwin, who I met at Pump No 8 at the Mobil Gas Station in Rancho Palos Verdea, took a salary of $80,000.00 + benefits + expense reimbursement, where on July 2, 1999 he secured an LOI with the Make A Wish charity for a proposed October 31, 2000 Charity Rade at Texas Motor Speedway. He had 9 months to secure a deal with Ford to provide NASCAR vehicles for the event, which was supposed to commemorate 100 Years of Motorsports in America, and also commemorate both Ford and Harley Davidson’s 100th Anniversary. Moose returned saying that the sponsors (especially the protected sponsor, Coke, will not let the drivers out of their contests to drive the event) Autoweek Magazine, the same issue it quoted several drivers as wanting to participate, reported that My Apple Laptop « had ears ». Motor Trend Magazine wrote an article entitled « The Automotive Analyst », a « fictitious story about a Wall Street analyst having problems with his wife, while talking to his shrink. The concluding sentence: « Build The Car » My only contribution to Ford would have been when I called the $3 million monstrosity (Focus) built by John Colletti and Motor Trend: Ian Cartabiano has penned a sick Mis-Engined Ford Focus Rally Car, which was to have shared a platform with the Renault R5 (Nissan: where Doi had previously worked after NCIS). That, and the referral from Mark Stehrenberger to Scott Sharpe Racing, to [Ford Tuner: I ferget] , who wrote a proposal for tuning the 4.0 liter Jaguar V8 for the Motorious Show Stand, as a potential BMW M5 competitor. Of the $137,000.00 loan, $50,000 went to Mark Stehrenberger Design, who was to generate 3 proposals for the Deusenberg PHAETON: Mercedes Benz Ocean 4 door convertible concept...to. E build at the DRESDEN Factory in Germany), the other $50,000 went to Robert Marianich in Huntington Beach, who was to have converted his studio, and built a « clay resurfaced » proposal of the RIVOLUZIONW: 1999 LA Auto Show, next to Shelby Series One (I met Carroll at Jay Leno’s, where he asked me to contact his assistant, Pearlita Shelby, about helping him with production of the OLDSMOBILE AURORA Engined SERIES ONE: autopsia.wordpress.com, slated to return to INDYCAR, to replace the Honda unit, now that they created Touring Car. I wanted to get the rights to MG ROVER (BBC: BMW’s English Patient), known as Rover Sterling 825 in America (Acura Legend): ARCONA | After the misérable failure of Phoenix Holdings, which paid Queen Elizabeth the nominal sum of £10, and then before becoming the four most overpaid executives in the UK Auto Industry. I even went so far as to ask Lakshmi Mittal (Arcelor Mittal and Harris’s) if he would help me to purchase Land Rover from TATA. CAR AND DRIVER MAGAZINE (Hearst Publications: Vladimir Putin) April Fool’s | Toyota buys Oldsmobile Trademark for $5,000. FIAT acquire the right to the Oldsmobile Aurora Engine through my partnership with Carroll Shelby, Gets the Oldsmobile Dealerships (10 year warrante on the engine), Change the nage to Alfa Romeo, and modify the engine for use in US Alfa’s, like the GT-V8, Spider Véloce (Duetto V8: BMWfilms.com Béat the Devil). Unfortunately, John Goodwin went bankrupt, my ex-wife had a hidden camera in our bedroom vent (Waiting to Exhale, Bernadine’s Rage: 6624 Oceancrest Drive, RPV, CA, 90275). And all of our personal and my corporate accounts were closed on August 14, 2001, due to malfeasance on her part: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY [The Private Bank: Union Bank of California (Mitsubishi Sumitomo: KIRETSU): Peggy Fahnestock, Gloria Marquez: who refinanced my BMW Financial Loan from JP Morgan Chase, because it was higher interest rate than a similarly situated white nan, all other things being equal. The VENDETTA (redesigned Rivoluzione: 200 LA Auto Show, was in an accident THE FIRST DAY I DROVE IT. I didn’t even make it to the highway. There was at least $100,000? In customization (hand hammered and rolled Aluminum body parts riveted and bonded to the steel: Robin Officer, Captain Metal, Magic Mountain, CA (A Kiwi). who I believe, was interviewed on the Jay Leno show dresses in drag. By keeping all the receipts to every modification, the insurance company: GEICO, had to first restore the vehicle to its original condition, THEN, cover all the replacement customization which they did, before canceling my policy the sane day the lease on my 328i was repossed, with $5,000.00 worth of renderings and sketches by Ian Cartabiano, which actually appeared in Bimmer Magazine in 1998. My mother refuses to give me my birth certificate. Whats wrong with this picture? mo torious On Oct 14, 30 Heisei, at 2:25 AM, mo torious wrote: David Ebersman, Will you be the part time CFO on my private placement? except for the fact that Angel List is formerly Google, and I found it impossible to do due diligence on who people claimed to be. since I came from Wall Street, and have helped raise over $500 Million for companies during my career, even though it is many years later, I still know many of the same people. The first person who made a referral for me, was Paul Howard of HQH: Hambrecht & Quist Healthcare, in NYC, when he introduced me to his MIT Sloan School Claasmate, Douglas A Doi (founder of Doi Golf). I see his name on many research publication footnotes, such as the NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE ARTICLE: The Beginning is the End of AIDS. The second referral came from Barney Hallibgby, who introduced me to Doug Casey at Gates Capital at 200 Park Avenue, New York, NY, who floats Government Bonds and Municipal Bonds for manufacturing, such as at the March Global Port, which was a former military base turned into a commercial port. As part of the 3Q/2001 earnings report, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal, William Clay Ford, III made two announcements: 1. We are no longer pursuing our aftermarket strategy. (usurped and mismanaged by Jacques Naaser) 2 We can no longer afford to spend 11.1% of sales, on Marketing/Advertising. Bad news for Ogilvy/Mather. Possible 11.1% increase in margins. William Clay Ford: Uber is losing hundreds of millions to billions every year. If All the risks are borne by the driver, why can’t they turn a profit? The following article on the same page of the WSJ, was that The Blackstone Group « was looking for its next big deal ». Instinct tells me to defer from inviting them, or Goldman Sachs or any of its clients (like Facebook and Twitter) to participate in this private placement. http://fortune.com/2012/02/01/meet-the-man-behind-the-facebook-ipo/ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B5gQoZEZn04 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O8PM_EybRdo https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/07/01/facebook-not-feeling-friendly-with-nasdaq/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericsavitz/2012/09/04/facebook-sets-another-new-low-nyt-rips-cfo-ebersman/ mo torious On Oct 13, 30 Heisei, at 10:56 PM, mo torious wrote: M_DriversLicense (@onyx_project) 2/6/28 H, 12:51 PM i-am-motorious.tumblr.com/post/129742049… ⁦‪@AngelList‬⁩ ⁦‪@UBSf1‬⁩ ⁦‪@UBS‬⁩ frontinalispartners.com ⁦‪@Ford‬⁩ @LapoElkann_LE ⁦‪@Zurich‬⁩ ⁦‪@CreditSuisse‬⁩ pic.twitter.com/2pZqP9LAin

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

Rafael Barba / Control

Part Two

As requested by anon: 

Prompt: An imagine where Barba jumps to your defense after an opposing attorney makes a crude/inappropriate comment about you. 

Sometimes I start writing something and it comes out waaaay differently than how I thought it would. And this was one of those times. I MIGHT make a second part to this, I’m not so sure. I kind of like where I left this off, but i do have some ideas for a second part. 

“Can you tell the jury what happened when you entered the defendant’s apartment with Detectives Rollins and Carisi?” Rafael asked, hands in his pocket. You sat in the witness box, legs crossed and expression neutral. You divided your attention between Rafael and the jury members. You scanned the people sitting before you who decided this man’s faith. One looked as if she was an executive at a hotshot company, another looked as if he was a lumberjack, and the rest blended into each other. You were more concerned with their judgmental eyes which were trained on you, observing for the slightest inch of uncertainty or hesitance. A pride of lions before the wounded gazelle. Ready to discard any testimony over any inconsistency or out of spite. People were easily swayed, deftly manipulated, and quick to jump to conclusions. You knew, you were an assistant district attorney too. It was your job to use these facts to your advantage, but not today. 

And then there was Rafael, emerald eyes almost trying to remind you of all the preparing the two did throughout the week. Reprogramming you as a witness was difficult within itself when every fiber of your being railed against it, your instincts completely thrown off. Rafael had to tell you several times not to object to his practice questions. 

Switching from an attorney to a witness wasn’t a smooth transition, but it was one made possible only by Rafael’s guidance. He knew how hard this was for you not to be in control, when you always needed to be. It was control that got you to the top of your class at Harvard; it was control that let you work your way up to take your place in the District Attorney’s office; it was control that allowed you to win cases no one else could. But, as you glanced at Rafael in his pinstriped suit, you felt your heart stutter when you thought back to the night before, the moment you two had shared outside your building and you knew, knew, it was wrong; it was against policy; it was frowned upon, but once his lips chastely brushed against your own, you couldn’t find it in your heart of hearts to care. He had left without another word, leaving you to shake the stars out of your eyes and go upstairs and wash the warmth and temptation off your body. You cleared your throat to answer his question. After all, there were some things you couldn’t control. 

“After Detective Carisi and Rollins entered alongside me to execute the search warrant, we found the murder weapon tucked in an upstairs closet,” You explaining, being careful with your words and expression. “When Detective Rollins pulled out the cuffs to arrest him, Mr. Dresden made an excited utterance that we would never catch him, that no one would believe a bunch of,” You hesitated, looking for confirmation from Rafael and he nodded. You sighed, “A bunch of hoes,” 

“Thank you, Ms. L/N,” Rafael sat down, unbuttoning his jacket, glancing at Buchanan as he rose to his feet. 

“Ms. L/N, how nice to see you again,” You tried not to recoil at his remark, the sleazy words rubbing you the wrong way as always. You hated handling any case that involved the man, his mere presence an aggravation to you. “I say again as you work for ADA Barba don’t you?” 

You sat up a little straighter, proud of the work you come in to do each day. It was never easy. It wasn’t easy to land the job, and it was even harder to keep it, but it was what you wanted loved. “I do,” 

“So, in your opinion, would you consider yourself an attractive woman?” Rafael jumped to his feet, appalled. 

“Objection! Relevance?”

“I have a point to this line of questioning, Your Honor. Goes to creditability,” You looked at the judge agape. It was Judge Agatha Claxton, a firm, but fair hand in the legal system. You had many cases before her, and though she glanced at you with a small hint of pity, she sighed. 

“You better make your point soon, counselor. The objection is overruled.” Rafael sat down, his irritation evident on your face. “Witness must answer,” 

Buchanan looked at you expectantly, and you considered it. “I don’t know how others perceive me, but I’m happy with myself-”

“So in other words, you take pride in your looks? You don’t need to answer that,” He brushed the question aside, moving along. “Do you find Mr. Dresden attractive?” 

“Your Honor,” Rafael said indignantly.

“Careful, counselor,” The judge warned, as you frowned, completely thrown off by this line of questioning. Buchanan approached you, a smug expression apparent on his face. 

“Isn’t true that when you questioned by client when he wasn’t a suspect, he asked you out?” You narrowed your eyes. 

“Yes, but-”

“Isn’t true that you were trying to use that to your advantage after he became one? Flirting with him? You are an attractive woman, and he is an attractive man. You never denied that.” 

You furrowed your brow. “No, I treated him as I would any other suspect.” He remained unconvinced. 

“Did you think he was including you when he referred to the women in the vulgar manner you claimed he did?” 

“No,” You sighed, resisting the urge to cross your arms. You couldn’t shut out the jury by showing your irritation, though it was growing more and more difficult to do so. 

“Then you weren’t offended by his remark?” 

You had to force yourself not to snort. “I think anyone would be offended by his remark,” 

“So, how long have you worked at the District Attorney’s office in Manhattan?” You almost got whiplash at his questions, but Barba urged you to continue silently. 

“Two years,” He nodded knowingly. 

“And, that office is known for in-office scandals?” 

“I wouldn’t say-”

“You wouldn’t say that, but the media knows. Jack McCoy, your former boss had affairs with many of his ADAs,” You closed your mouth, grinding your teeth. “Is that correct?” 

“Yes, but-”

“What is the nature of your relationship with ADA Barba?” 

Rafael jumped to his feet, hands forming tight fists. “Excuse me?” Rafael stared at Buchanan in disbelief. “Your Honor, objection! He has no grounds for this line of questioning! To imply that our relationship is anything but professional sheds doubt onto Ms. L/N’s reputation and irrevocably change it.” The judge opened her mouth, but Rafael simply continued talking, “To even consider the possibility of this, would call her whole career into question for no reason, an attorney who has worked her entire career into providing justice.” 

“It goes to credibility, Your Honor,” Buchanan simply stated with a non-committal shrug. You said nothing, only looking forward, infuriated with your inability to do anything in this situation. A duck in a row, just lined up and waiting to be shot. 

Judge Claxton glanced between you, Barba, and Buchanan, before sighing, rubbing her temples. “That doesn’t sound like no reason to me. I’ll give the defense some latitude on this matter, but if this crosses any lines, I’m declaring a mistrial.” She turned to you with sympathetic eyes that slipped away as she said: “Ms. L/N, answer the question,” 

“It’s a strictly professional relationship,” You cleared your throat, without a moment of hesitation. 

“There was not one late night, where both of you stayed late, or he dropped you off at home, and a moment, a spark,” You remembered the night before, but you pushed those thoughts to the far reaches of your mind. It was merely a fantasy, a dream, nothing more. 

“I don’t think of ADA Barba in that manner, we only interact in a professional setting or as it relates to work,” You answered matter-of-factly. 

“Really?” Buchanan pulled out a picture from a file, “Defense exhibit 22, Your Honor,” He handed the picture to you and the judge, while showing another copy to the jury. Your heart stopped when you saw what it was. “A picture of Barba dropping you to your home last night,” The two of you were standing quite close in the image, his hand was holding yours from the kiss moments prior. He didn’t have a picture of that. “Tell us, what were you discussing there?” Barba opened his mouth to retort, “Attorney-client privilege doesn’t apply to witnesses,” 

You swallowed, mouth dry. “I was nervous about testifying, we had stayed late to prepare, he was comforting me,”

“He looks as if he was going to do much more than comfort you,” Rafael got to his feet yet again. “Withdrawn,” He stepped toward you, and you held back the fury you felt towards this man, this horrid, wretched man, as much as you wanted to hate him, to yell at him, to slap him clear across the face, you knew he was only doing his job. And making a damn good show of it. “So what is the truth? Have you lied the entire time you were on the stand? Nothing you say can be believed,” 

“Objection, now he’s testifying,” 

“That’s enough, counselor,” Judge Claxton waved him off. “Do you have any more questions for this client?” 

“None, Your Honor,” He smirked, satisfied with himself. “I think I’ve made my point,” You moved to get up, ready to leave this courtroom in complete and utter humiliation. You frankly didn’t care. You simply wanted to leave. 

“Redirect, Your Honor,” Rafael requested, much to your displeasure. She granted it, and you slowly sank back into the seat. 

“Ms. L/N, could you describe a typical day in the office we work at?” Rafael gave you a look, trust me, his expression seemed to scream, and you did. So you described every moment of your day; the arraignment hearings, the meetings with defense attorneys and defendants, coordinating with the police department, your hearings, and it went on. “And that doesn’t include the work you do for me at times, and the help you provide as second chair,” You agreed.

 “So typically what time do you get home?” 

“I get home at 11 PM, on a good night,” You added. 

“What do you do?” He asked, and you could see where he was going, but unsure of the route he was taking. 

“Relax, eat dinner, and I’m asleep by 12 AM,” 

“Not much of a social life?” You agreed, yet again. “No time for a secret affair with me or any other man, including Mr. Dresden?” 

“Objection!” Buchanan said, and Rafael only tapped his foot in annoyance. “He opened the door,” The judge conceded, ordering you to answer. 

“No, I don’t,” You knew the two of you were practically on the edge of committing hearsay, but nothing truly did happen between the two of you. No affair, no love. It was only a moment. 

You looked at him standing before you in a buttoned suit that took your breath away the first time you saw him in it. The moments you shared in the office, during cases, and the one last night... 

Not anymore. The moment had passed. 

“Nothing further,” He took his seat, unbuttoning his jacket. You got out of the witness box, leaving without another look at the jury, but you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at him for only a second. 

After all, there were some things you couldn’t control. 

[gvbejvmes]

Drabble: Truce

Warnings: Hard R for language Relationships: Gabe/Johnny, Gabe/Jillynn Characters: Gabe, Jill, Johnny, Cordelia, Bella Song Inspo: Truce by The Dresden Dolls

2018

“I am the tower around which you orbited.” Gabe told the person who was looking at the painting hanging on the wall. He hated gallery showings, but he needed to show his work if he wanted to sell anything in New York, and right now he had a shit ton of art to be showing off. It felt strange showing off such personal paintings. He’d been the one who asked for the separation from Johnny, and he was the one who ended the relationship, but that didn’t mean that he’d taken it very well. 

Hell, the break-up had devoured him whole. He thought maybe painting and Morrissey would cure him, but he’d ended a ten year marriage because he wanted to explore his sexuality because he wanted to act on his feelings for Jillynn. Instead, all he’d done was mourn something he’d ended himself, which was why he was currently standing in a gallery with all his own pieces. “That’s what’s the piece is called.” He explained. 

The canvas in front of them was covered in paint splatters with an absence of color in the dead-center of the painting. “The closer to the void the more color - it’s symbolic of how the artist’s significant other was their whole world and that’s why the brighter colors are there and the colors get darker the further we get from the center.” 

God, he sounded like one of the art snobs that he fucking hated. Too much of his soul was imbued in these pieces. Showing them, selling them… it was too much for him. Maybe this was a bad idea.

He grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the waiters and all but ran to one of the corners so he could hide. Cordy and Bella were out there somewhere. All he needed to do was find them and they could leave, but his agent said his pieces would sell better if he was there so here he was standing in the corner next to one of his metal installation pieces: prison bars bent out of shape and painted out like a pride flag. 

“Is this supposed to represent you?” An amused voice asked him, and he looked up to find Jill walking over to him, the lights in the gallery making her red hair appear to have a halo. 

A laugh escaped from his lips, unbidden. “Too on the nose?” He asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

She shrugged. “I liked the burned canvas drawing of Bella you did. I’m assuming that’s not for sale?” She asked, even though he could tell by the way she asked the question that she already knew the answer to her own question. “Bella seems very taken with staring at a drawing of herself.”

Gabe grinned. “That’s going over the fireplace. Apparently I need to show pieces that aren’t for sale because it’ll drive up the prices of the pieces that are for sale. Or at least that’s what my agent tells me. I just make things and then decide what I want to keep.” He admitted.

“What’s the deal with the giant map of New York with certain streets in one color and other streets in another color?” She took a sip of her champagne, and once again Gabe found himself thinking that she already knew the answer but that she just wanted to hear him tell her. 

God, their relationship was so weird. Everything felt so strained between them now that he and Johnny were no longer together. There was this bubbling presence every time they were together, and it took everything in him to not hold her hand. They hadn’t talked about their feelings yet. Things were still so complicated. She thought he was still in love with Johnny (and maybe a part of him was), and he was convinced she had a thing for his cousin (and maybe she did). This thing between them felt so tangible that he could touch it if he wanted to. His fingers twitched and he found himself setting down his champagne glass, and picking up one of Jill’s hands and turning her palm up.

“The lines in our palms look a lot like road maps.” He said tracing his index finger over the palm of her hand, freezing when he felt her shiver next to him. “Oh, here.” He slid his suit jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders. The tips of his ears went an interesting shade of pink as she slipped her arms inside. Something about her wearing his jacket made him feel an almost primal approval - like he was staking his claim or some shit. 

He picked up her hand again. “I had old reference pictures of his hands and the roads that looked like the lines in his hands are red, and the roads that look like my lines are blue. The red streets are the parts of New York that-”

Jill nudged him. “Johnny.”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah, the streets that Johnny is supposed to stick to so we don’t awkwardly run into each other.” He said, not picking up on her signs.

“Is here.” She finished her sentence as she dropped her hand from Gabe’s grip. “Johnny’s in the gallery.”

And if we should meet through some misunderstanding I'll be very sweet very patient and forgiving (now get off my side of the state)

And if we should meet one another in passing Despite these techniques there is sometimes no avoiding (there must be some kind of mistake)

We'll raise high our white flags and say hi and shake hands Declaring the land we're on unAmerican We'll call it even

Freezing, Gabe glanced up and found Johnny standing on the other side of the gallery, near where Bella’s portrait was. “Fuck.” Gabe scrubbed his hands over his face. “Do I look okay?” Then he realized what he’d just asked and rolled his eyes at himself. “Don’t answer that.” 

He walked halfway in front of the gallery and stopped near a mosaic of hand-painted glass that was shaped like a heart. If you looked very closely each piece of glass wasn’t really painted, but had the words ‘he can go fuck himself’ painted very neatly so from a distance looked like it was just painted colors.

“Do I want to know what the words are on that piece?” Johnny said in greeting. 

He clenched his jaw, and out of the corner of his eye could see Johnny’s security detail. “I don’t want to do this out here, Jay.” He murmured out softly, sure that if Johnny was here anything dramatic would wind up on page six. “And alone.” Out of habit, he grabbed Johnny’s hand and all but dragged him into the small office in the back that his agent said he could use as his green room of sorts.

“What the fuck are you even doing here?” Gabe hissed out, dropping his hand as he paced the small length of the office. “I sure as fuck don’t remember your name being on the invite list.”

Gabe used to love how nothing ever phased or flustered Johnny, but right now it just pissed him the fuck off. “We talked about this, Briel. It’s an election year.” He reminded him, like he was talking to a small child - not that the other man would know anything about that. “I need to appear to be a doting husband until after the election cycle and you need to be a good sport about it.” And it sounded more like a threat than anything else. “With any luck, I’ll blow my opponent out of the water during the Primary and this re-election bullshit will be taken care of long before the General Election, hmm? Besides, Briel, when have I ever missed an opening for one of your shows?”

He wasn’t wrong. Sighing, he leaned against the desk and ran a hand over his mouth, a nervous habit of his. “During the O’Quinn trial in 2013.” Gabe spat out without missing a beat. “And when you had to attend a DNC fundraiser in 2016, and don’t you fucking dare throw out the line about not counting election years. I’m tired of fighting about this shit, Jay.”

“Briel,” And he hated how easily he folded into Johnny’s arms when he gathered him into his chest. “There’s literally a painting of my ass out there.”

Laughing he buried his face into the crook of Johnny’s neck. “No one knows it’s a painting of your back. The fact that your ass is included is only secondary. It’s called Ares, by the way. You know, the Greek god of war. Unless someone else has seen that tattoo, no one else is gonna know it’s you. Except maybe Cordy, but that’s only because it took her too long to learn to knock when she first came to live with us.”

He pulled himself away from Johnny. “You mean it though? As soon as the election is over, I can go public as not being your husband? You turned in the paperwork I sent over last week?” He asked studying him curiously.

“I just need to look over one more thing, and then you’ll have your divorce, Briel.” He didn’t sound very happy about it, but Gabe trusted him to actually file the documents.

Swallowing, Gabe nodded. “Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to Johnny’s cheek and that was when the door to the office opened.

“Gabe, Cordelia can’t get the baby to stop crying and she said you’re better at it than she is and-” Jill froze as she took in the compromising position Gabe was in. “Right.” She said, looking closed off. “I have to go anyway.” She dropped Gabe’s jacket onto the ground and walked away from the room.

He made one step to chase after her, but Johnny’s hand wrapped around his wrist, effectively stopping him. “As far as anyone knows, we’re still a happily married couple, Briel. You can’t chase after her.”

His eyes shut and he nodded. “I need to go check on the girls anyway.” He pulled his jacket back on and refused to look back at Johnny as he re-entered the gallery.

Make your bed and now lie Just like you always do You can fake it for the papers but I'm on to you.

[iwriteaboutfeminism]

July Reading Wrap Up

Audio Books

The Mystery at Lilac Inn, by Carolyn Keene (Nancy Drew #4, read by Laura Linney)

I gave this book two stars. 

The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath (read by Maggie Gyllenhaal)

I really enjoyed Maggie Gyllenhaal’s narration, but the book turned out to not be what I was expecting. It’s described as a “novel about a woman falling into the grip of insanity” and “a deep penetration into the darkest and most harrowing corners of the human psyche.” It’s not. It’s about a young woman with depression and suicidal ideation. Maybe if I had gone into it differently I would have liked it more, but I gave this book two stars. 

The Story of Dr. Dolittle, by Hugh Lofting (Dr. Dolittle #1, read by Wanda McCaddon)

This also wasn’t quite what I was expecting, and it made me a bit uncomfortable that this white man travels to Africa (it’s not more specific than that, unless I missed something) to heal some sick animals and is basically treated as a white savior. I gave this book two stars. 

Storm Front, by Jim Butcher (The Dresden Files #1, read by James Marsters)

It was great to hear James Marsters’ narration, but I’m not sure if this is a series for me. I like that the main character is a wizard/detective, but the fantastical elements sort of took over near the end, which I didn’t enjoy as much. I’m going to give the next book in the series a try and decide from there whether to continue on with it. I gave this book two stars.

Death at Victoria Dock, by Kerry Greenwood (Phryne Fisher #4, read by Stephanie Daniel

This is the series that one of my favorite TV shows, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, is based on. I’d read the first three books about three years ago and didn’t think much of them, honestly, despite how much I love the show. But, I was browsing my library for new audio books and decided to give the series another try.  I can’t tell if this was a better story, or I just enjoy this series more in audio book format. I gave this book three stars. 

Seriously...I’m Kidding, by Ellen DeGeneres (read by Ellen DeGeneres)

I was pretty disappointed with this honestly. This was the first of Ellen's books that I've read, and I was hoping for more of a personal story. There's nothing in here that you couldn't get from any of her monologues for her talk show. I don't feel like I know her any better after reading this. It's not a memoir, or even a collection of essays. There's humor, but even then, I think she's done better. There's noting *wrong* with the book, but it doesn't stand out to me. I gave this book two stars. 

The Green Mill Murder, by Kerry Greenwood (Phryne Fisher #5, read by Stephanie Daniel)

I gave this book two stars. 

Blood and Circuses, by Kerry Greenwood (Phryne Fisher #6, read by Stephanie Daniel)

This book includes an intersex character and a transgender character, but the story begins with the intersex character being murdered and constantly referred to really horribly by one of the police officers investigating their death. He’s called out on it by his superior officer, which I appreciated, but his comments still made me uncomfortable. I gave this book one star. 

Graphic Novels

Wonder Woman, Vol. 2: Year One, by Greg Rucka and Nicola Scott

This made no sense as a follow up to volume one, and even though they were, for some reason, going for a re-telling, I didn't like any of the choices they made. I didn't like that she couldn't understand English. I didn't like that she could talk to animals. I didn't like Steve Trevor and Etta Candy set in present day. I didn't like Steve's (lack of) characterization. I didn't like Diana's lack of agency in "man's world." I gave this book one star.

Buffy, Season 9, Vol. 3: Guarded, by names

Did think it had a very strong or interesting story. I can see how it’s relevant to Buffy’s character development, but I just wasn’t interested. And where were her friends? Then the last two issues were a complete spin-off about a kid named Billy. It got better as it went along, but I’m here for Buffy, not new side characters thrown in out of nowhere. I gave this book two stars. 

Daredevil: Vol. 4: The Autobiography of Matt Murdock, by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee

I loved that he was finally back to the (modern) original costume! The red suit made no sense to me. Kingpin is a great nemesis, and it was fun watching him and Matt try to out-wit each other. I gave this book three stars.

Adulthood is a Myth, by Sarah Andersen

I liked this more than other similar books, but it's just not the type of book that makes much of an impact for me personally. Several panels were funny and relatable, and if you like this style, it's worth the read.I gave this book two stars. 

Novels

My Cousin Rachel, by Daphne du Maurier

Really impressed with the writing the the very beginning and end. I didn’t like the direction it was taking, or maybe, the direction I thought it was taking, in the middle, but was really impressed that she managed an ending I usually dislike in a way that was brilliant. I gave this book three stars. 

If We Were Villains, by ML Rio

I have so many thoughts on this book, I should probably just write a full review.  I gave this book three stars. 

Stuart Little, by EB White

I gave this book two stars. 

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson

This was the @lets-read-about-feminism book club read for July. It’s about a girl growing up in a very religious community and what happens to her as she realizes she’s gay. There were several parts that I thought were beautifully written, but I feel like I didn’t understand this book and missed a lot of the symbolism and metaphor. I gave this book two stars. 

Non-Fiction, Pamphlets, and Novellas

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Brene Brown

Vulnerability and uncertainty are difficult for me and are things I’m working on this year, so I thought it would be a good idea to read this book. It was good, but I didn’t find it particularly revolutionary. Though, there was a story in the last chapter that I related to so much it made me cry. So, that’s a pretty strong recommendation. I gave this book three stars. 

Fascism: What It Is and How to Fight It, by Leon Trotsky

Unfortunately, not an analysis for beginners, which is what I was hoping for.I gave this book two stars. 

The Grownup, by Gillian Flynn

I went into this expecting one thing and got another, which was sort of a theme for me this month. I don’t like ghost stories, but I do like Gillian Flynn and I figured as long as I read this book in daylight it was short enough that it wouldn’t be too bad. But it’s not a ghost story, so...I’m not sure why the back cover says, in big font, “Do you like ghost stories?” I gave this book two stars. 

Let me know if you’ve read any of these books, or are interested in reading them! 

Follow me on Goodreads!  |  Join my online book club!!

Average rating for July: 2.2

Books read in July: 19

Books read in 2017: 90

Find more bookish posts here: Reading Wrap Up Tag | Monthly Comic Book Pull Lists | 2017 Books tag | 2016 Books tag

[minaminokyoko]

Noise Complaint: A Harry/Murphy drabble

*leaps into the Harry/Murphy trashpile* I regret nothing. All credit goes to @xserpx for coming up with this idea. Cross posted on AO3.

Harry Dresden was so very, very sure that being with the woman of his literal dreams would reduce some of the embarrassment he suffered in life, but it turned out he was wrong.

DING-DONG.

Six o’clock in the morning. Harry snarled in the general direction of Karrin’s front door and stuffed his head beneath one of her pillows. He didn’t even want to acknowledge that six o’clock existed, let alone that someone was awake and ringing the doorbell.

DING-DONG.

“This is not happening,” he groaned. “Not now.”

“It is,” Karrin replied wearily from beside him. “Go do something about it.”

“But I was having The Dream,” he whined, tipping the pillow to one side so she could hear. “You know, the one where you were one of a set of triplets? And all three of you were gymnasts?”

Karrin snorted. “Damn, Dresden. The grass is always greener with you, isn’t it?”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he admitted, pushing up on one elbow enough to raise himself over her. “This is some pretty damn green grass.”

He waggled his eyebrows before dropping a kiss to her lips. Morning breath and all, it was still a damn good kiss, so much so that he forgot about the doorbell for a moment.

DING-DONG.

“I’m going to set someone on fire,” Harry growled, struggling into his boxers and a robe.

“Do not set anyone on fire,” Karrin said severely, rolling onto her side and cuddling her pillow.

Harry stormed over to the door and ripped it open. “What?”

An old woman stood there on Karrin’s front porch, her expression restrained but frosty. Harry squinted and realized she was actually the next door neighbor. “Oh. Excuse me. I have the manners of a goat in the morning. What can I do for you, Mrs. Crabtree?”

“Mr. Dresden,” she said in a clipped tone. “Let me first start by saying that I am rather delighted that you and Miss Murphy have finally decided to become a proper couple rather than continuing dancing around each other for ten years.”

Harry’s eyebrows rose. “Uh. Thank you. I think.”

“That being said, I felt it necessary to bring to your attention that I am displeased with you.”

“And why is that?”

She stared straight into his eyes. “The noise, Mr. Dresden.”

Harry scratched his head. “Noise? I mean, I didn’t think my AC/DC vinyl could be heard through the walls. I promise I’ll turn it down when it’s my turn to do the housework—”

“Mr. Dresden, I am not referring to your godforsaken rock-and-roll music. I am talking about the noise that happens almost precisely every night between midnight and three am.”

He stared at her. She cleared her throat and spoke in an endlessly exasperated tone. “From you and Miss Murphy’s boudoir.”

Harry Dresden, Winter Knight of Mab, Wizard of the White Council, promptly turned bright red from the base of his neck all the way up to his hairline. “Oh.”

“Yes,” Mrs. Crabtree said. “It is quite audible and it has been happening for three nights in a row. While I approve of your vigor, I thought it only fair to warn you that if you do not keep it down from now on, I will be forced to file a noise complaint with the police.”

“Y-Yes ma’am,” Harry mumbled. “I-I will let Murphy know that we’ve been, uh, disturbing you. I apologize for the inconvenience. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know.”

“As a matter of fact, there is. I have a bad back and Henry’s been leaning on his cane a lot lately. If you would be so kind as to rake the leaves in our front yard, I will consider us even.”

“I will be out there in ten minutes, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Mr. Dresden.” With that, the old woman turned and walked down the steps and disappeared into her house next door.

Harry shut the door and shuffled into Karrin’s bedroom, so red-faced that he was sure there was steam shooting out of his ears by now. He opened the closet and started getting dressed wordlessly. Karrin turned over in bed, scooping her blonde hair out of her eyes, blinking sleepily at him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to rake your neighbor’s yard.”

“Oh. That’s nice of you. What brought that on?”

“Apparently, we’ve been keeping them up at night.”

“How? You don’t play your music at night and—” Murphy abruptly stopped talking. “Oh my God.”

“Yep.”

“You’re never going to let this go, are you?”

Harry turned around and leaned over his equally red-faced girlfriend, but this time he was grinning madly. He pressed a short, sweet kiss to her lips.

“Maybe when we’re both dead.”

FIN

[tanadrin]

(Warning: talking about things I have no expertise of, or indeed any kind of comprehensive knowledge)

I’m interested in the way our perceptions of magic differ from actual magic, and in general, how different the pseudo-historical “ISO Standard Fantasy Setting” differs from the thing it supposedly imitates. What it actually imitates is, of course, a certain genre of Romantic literature recycled through D&D (or through Tolkien then D&D again, or Tolkien, his imitators, and D&D), and closely related works. The conventional tropes of modern high fantasy were established in a relatively short period, even compared to hard SF, in the middle of the 20th century. They don't much resemble either their immediate predecessors (Dunsany, for instance) or their supposed source material (actual medieval literature) except in very very superficial ways--knights on horseback, for instance, things called faeries.

Sometimes there's back-contamination, where our erroneous impression of the past as conveyed by pseudo-historical settings in fantasy literature (Medieval Tymes, if you like) color our perception of *actual* historical periods. The video game Crusader Kings 2, for instance, feels much more like an ISO Standard Fantasy Setting that happens to be set in Europe than it does the actual Middle Ages (and this is before they added the admittedly silly Monks and Mystics expansion, which adds a whole new level of tongue-in-cheekness to a game that already played around a lot with its source material). There's very little use of medieval art or architecture in CK2, or even direct imitations of it; even less medieval music. THere's a lot of imitation, though, of what we *think* the middle ages should look like based on fantasy literature and its derivatives--which is why the Elder Scrolls and Song of Ice and Fire mods work so well with the base game's style, since in a way they're truer to the spirit of CK2 than actual history is. Both those works--Martin's especially--are firmly embedded in pseudomedievalism, and built on the ISO Standard Fantasy Setting in different ways.

But let's talk about magic in particular, which is a mainstay of the fantasy genre outside high fantasy, but which I feel, as a reader, tends to be treated in common ways across very diverse works of genre fiction. Here I'll include video games like the Elder Scrolls, traditional games like Dungeons and Dragons, novels of low fantasy (The Dresden Files, Harry Potter) and novels of high (Chronicles of Amber, China Mieville's Bas-Lag books, Discworld, Codex Alera). Every one, I contend, against our intuitions on the subject, while formally fantasy resembles science fiction in its treatment of magic; that is to say, magic is treated as an element of the world, and bears far more relationship to our modern conception of the natural order and of the natural world than any traditional form of magic. Magic is gone; magic has been killed stone dead. With very, very few exceptions, anything we think of as "magic" in film, books, TV, comics, etc., is really a form of not-magic, a kind of exotic naturalism, and at some point between the Renaissance and the industrial revolution, our cultural understanding of the world shifted so much that we (read "the people reading this post, not every human alive") became unable to conceive of magic as it was traditionally understood.

First off: in anthropological and philological terms, magic is a broad and vague label for a huge variety of practices from various cultures in various times and places, founded more or less in common quirks of human psychology, and without a single coherent definition. It's a collection, not a system; "systems" of magic are modern inventions, though there are definitely various kinds of magical traditions from different cultures. If you pick up a book like "The Book of Magic: From Antiquity to the Enlightenment" (Penguin, 2016; ed. and trans. Brian Copenhaver), you can look at a nice cross-section of different references to and discussions of magic from Biblical, Classical, Persian, Medieval, and Renaissance sources. Obviously, there's a lot going on that's different in each text, but a couple common themes emerge, I think.

First of all, you can classify most forms of these "magics" into discrete categories: divination through randomness or omens (entrails, crows, smoke, dreams, the stars); theurgy, or appeals to higher powers like angels (or accusations of appeals to powers like demons), which is big in medieval magic; speaking with the dead or with spirits (e.g., necromancy); and medicine. None of these are distinct, and none of these are distinctly magic, by which I mean many or most of these categories blend into one another and to other activities like cooking, worship, healing, or scholarship, and a strong "natural" versus "supernatural" dichotomy does not seem evident, especially in ancient sources like Plato, Pliny, and the Old Testament.

I think it's important to remember that a systematized explanation for how the world works was lacking for most of human history; you might see salt dissolve in water and precipitate out again, and fire burn things and acid eat them away, but knowing nothing about atoms or chemical reactions or the various electromagnetic and atomic forces which govern most human-level behavior of particles (to say nothing of the gravitational forces which dominate the heavens), it makes perfect sense to speak of the material universe being sustained and governed on an ongoing basis by the direct intervention of God, or spirits, or gods, who act according to consistent principles; in these circumstances, a denial of free will and a statement of absolute Divine control of the physical world isn't just a philosophical position, it's a productive explanation of minute details of life that otherwise lack compelling ones. Even if, as Plato and Pliny, you are more systematic about things and posit that sympathy operates between objects and can produce effects at a distance, much as one musical instrument can be caused to resonate by another, absent understanding of sound (and air molecules) or light or the particles and fields which mediate the electromagnetic or graviational forces, you still need to posit things like daimons and spirits as the actors which actually transmit such connections; and there is inevitably a tendency to personalize such things, even if you're not entirely anthropomorphizing them.

(Likewise, if you notice study of the heavens is capable of predicting things like eclipses and the tides, you may reason that it's capable of predicting other things, like whether you're going to win this war--after all, the moon seems to have an effect on the tides, why shouldn't it have an effect on human beings? Astrology isn't just primitive astronomy; it blends with astronomy in a perfectly seamless fashion.)

*How* magic works is not distinct from *what you do to make it work*. The two are the same; the former does not exist as a separate concept. A spell is performative, not in the sense that it's fake, but in the sense that saying "I take you to be my husband" actually marries you to the person standing next to you if the circumstances are valid.

So substances might have inherent properties; how those properties interact with one another and with the body is going to belong to the same category of knowledge as how the planets affect individual persons or spells affect your neighbor's cow, i.e., the fundamental mechanisms remain mysteries. Thus, medicine blends seamlessly with other kinds of magic, with ritual and with religion. Praying for your son to get better and putting a salve on his forehead aren't entirely distinct actions; thus, medical treatments from the middle ages contain a mix of what seems to us like perfectly sensible actions (mash up this plant and eat it) and insanity that nobody could possibly believe helps (then bury the rest in a cornfield and say verses from the Bible over it). And because other kinds of magic can help or harm, and medicine can help or harm, medicine is prone to being viewed as a kind of malicious magic: it's no coincidence that our word "pharmacy, pharmeceutical" comes from the same Greek word used to translate "witch," as in "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live": pharmakeos, i.e., a poisoner. In fact, all the vocabulary around magic-users is a pile of confusion, a conflation of different kinds of action that don't fit neatly with modern notions of A Wizard. "Witch" is from a word originally meaning "diviner;" in the Middle Ages and early Modern period it seemed to be understood as one who invokes the power of supernatural beings to do evil things--note that the crime of witchcraft was because witches necessarily consorted with the *devil*, not because they used magic per se (presumably, power from God or the angels was OK--and indeed, grimoires like the Lesser Key of Solomon talk about magic from these sources, and emphasize the necessity of moral purity in order to get the spells to work). "Maleficium," in Latin, originally just meant "evildoer," however that evil was done; likewise, mekashefah, the word (originally feminine) which "witch" translates in the above Bible verse. The "witch" of Endor is not at all a crone; she's an apparently respectable woman capable of furnishing Saul and his men with a decent meal, and the term the Bible actually uses is "sho'el 'ov" - i.e., one who knows how to ask ghosts questions.

(With the exception of necromancy, little distinction is in fact made in the Old Testament between kinds of supernatural power; e.g., in Exodus the magic of the Egyptians is depicted as illegitemate, but no less efficacious for that. Magic plainly works, even if it's wrong.)

Charms, spells, and incantations are more often than not about invoking a specific power: gods, in Greek and Roman magic, God and his angels in Christian. (Pliny divides magic into medicine, astrology, and religion; the first two, he says, produce predictions which corroborate divination--as stated above, astrology is not entirely distinct from divination for obvious reasons.) Later, alchemy begins to produce actual theories of matter; but it's still not at all distinct from the kind of magic that involves invoking higher powers.

So what *isn't* magic? That's considerably easier to answer than what is: when you look at the kinds of things that look like magic to us moderns, it becomes easy to recognize the ways in which scientism has so preoccupied our way of viewing the world that it becomes inextricable even from our supposedly "magical" fantasy.

Magic isn't sufficiently advanced technology, for one, or a highly refined and subtle art (Tolkien; he knew this, obviously, and wasn't going for magic-qua-magic). Magic isn't *energy*, or a *force* or a *field*; these things are the language of *science,* of electromagnetics and gravity and atoms (contra Jim Butcher, Terry Pratchett, and every video game ever). It's not local variations in the natural law (as a distinction between natural law, human law, and especially moral law actually *isn't* that clear cut). It's not telekinesis or ESP, however those are caused! Remember, these are pseudo-*science*, they were invented in the scientific era. If you're an ancient using magic to make objects move, you're not "moving it with your mind." You might be invoking spirits to move it for you, but *you* are not doing it with some invisible arm. Magic isn't beams of light or deadly green lasers. It's also not some kind of metaphysical illusion. Sure, magicians have been denounced as tricksters and illusionists all throughout history, but if there's deception in magic, it is good old-fashioned sleight of hand--maybe your court magician replaced his staff with a snake when nobody was looking. It's not a ghost-snake you can put your hand through, though.

A fantasy story using traditional notions of magic would involve attitudes pretty alien and unsatisfying to a lot of modern fantasy readers: a close connection between the physical and moral world, little attention to *how* things worked, and more attention to what you *did* to make things work, nothing like a systematized, sciencified magic, and a blend so close between magic, religion, and nature that they are entirely indistinguishable.

None of this is to say that the traditional F&SF conception of magic is wrong or bad somehow; it fits our modern sensibilities quite nicely and makes for compelling stories. But don't make the mistake of confusing these functionally-distant reinterpretations of history for how people actually used to understand the world.

[muggle-writes]

10 Questions Tag

I genuinely don’t recall seeing this tag game come in, but either I missed it or I didn’t tag my responses. Either way, I found it again today, so @elizabethsyson thanks for the tag, here’s my answers

1. What book/s made you want to write?

I don’t think it was a book necessarily. Fanfiction inspired me to write and publish fanfiction of my own, but previously, I would just concoct something equivalent to fanfiction even though I didn’t know it had a name, entertain myself with it without ever writing it down, and then eventually forget and move on to something else. But I’ve always used those same unwritten (though still primarily verbal) creative endeavors as a way to process emotions. Later, writing (original fiction that was more individual scenes with no plot resolution) served the same purpose, and now fanfiction serves the dual purpose of being an emotional outlet (those don’t necessarily ever get published) and being a fun and social thing to share with other fans.

On the other hand, I’ve got so many memories of having written stories above and beyond what a school assignment would call for, going at least as far back as second or third grade, so who knows, maybe one book in particular did inspire me to write. But if so, I don’t remember what that original inspiration was.

Also there’s one book in particular that’s just... Awful. I bought it at a dollar store and honestly no wonder it was only selling there. Worst book I’ve ever read. And sometimes I’m writing out of spite because if something with that many plot holes and “plot twists” that ignore any foreshadowing the author set up and come out of literally nowhere can get published, then I’m also definitely good enough to get published if I ever wanted to.

2. What is your favourite genre to write in?

Fanfiction is totally its own genre, right? Besides that, the gray area where fantasy, urban fantasy, and realistic contemporary fiction all meet. I tend towards realism, even when I write magic, but I love to write in universes where mythical creatures can be real, too. It’s my favorite genre to write in because it’s where I’m comfortable writing, and also because those tend to be the stories I enjoy reading and therefore know how my own contributions compare. Also because I love worldbuilding, and being in a fantasy universe not so different from our own gives me plenty of space to explore exactly what’s the same or different and why.

3. What is your favourite genre to read?

Fanfiction again, because I can explore an arbitrary character through hundreds of different lenses and poke at all the facets of their identity almost indefinitely, and it’s not restricted to what happens to be plot relevant, or even to scenarios that are all compatible with a single timeline, and it’s so character driven. It’s by far my favorite thing. Fantasy, primarily in two different flavors. On one hand, fuzzy rules of magic where everything goes as long as the magic user is powerful or creative enough, as a backdrop to an allegorical, easily divided black and white morality story is a category I almost always love. Magic can do basically anything, and it’s easy to know what’s right and wrong, and who to root for. On the other hand, I love what Brandon Sanderson would call “hard magic” fantasy, where magic is just as structured, and nearly as understood, as science, which I enjoy combined with a plot in which the characters have as much nuance and shades of gray as in the real world. I tend to prefer things at one of those extremes, but I’ll read almost any fantasy story.

4. How do you think your reading habits have influenced your writing style?

I mean it's just like verbal language: whatever I surround myself is going to shape the ideas and phrases and slang that come back out of my brain. Likewise, if I’m creating a magic system “from scratch” it’s inevitably shaped by things I read or watched young(ish), including but not limited to the Belgariad, and Star Wars and Pern (so basically, strongly connected to the mind and limited mainly by what you can imagine) (the Dresden Files and Good Omens seem to have pretty similar ideas about magic, but I ingested those much later)

on the other hand I think that my habit of primarily reading, even over watching shows or movies, has contributed to how little I ever actually think about what a character looks like, except occasionally when introductions get delayed for some reason and I can't use names in narration. So characters I only know from reading, I have zero idea what they look like. For example, I only remember that Sabriel is deathly pale as her default state because I reread the beginning of the book recently on Libby (a library app) while debating whether to check it out and reread the whole series in order to potentially write a crossover fanfiction. Her appearance was mentioned once or twice in the first few chapters and then never again, and it wasn’t something other characters often remarked upon, so I promptly forgot. Even though it’s absolutely fitting. Idk I’m just really not a visual thinker apparently, and always having character names to reference only reinforces that because why do I need to know what someone looks like if I know who they are?

5. What is your go-to cure when you get writer’s block or can’t focus?

Focus is easier. I make sure I’ve eaten, and I put on music so I’m not distracted by the silence or by the sound of my own typing. Plus I'll keep something cold and caffeinated in arms reach to sip on when I'm tempted to relinquish focus.

Writer’s block is harder to overcome and usually ties in with depression, so I’ll sometimes go months without writing and come back when I have energy for anything again... But in terms of actual strategies, sometimes rereading what I’ve already written will kickstart my unblocked writing, which is why I try very hard to only stop writing at “stopping points” if it’s genuinely the end of the story. Because when I come back later, it’s so much easier to read a partial chapter, get into the swing of it, and remember where it was going, than to start carving a new chapter out of nothing. Another thing that helps chip away at writer’s block is to talk to someone who is enthusiastic about my stories, or who is willing to let me infodump. Those are the only two things I can really control that have helped. Occasionally other things will help, like getting the book review style comments on fics (when I also have time to sit down and write while the comment is still new enough to make me surprised-and-happy over it), or if I can find the right balance of “obligation to someone else” and “not so much pressure I implode” (like, for example, I submitted a half-baked WIP to the recent WIP Blind Date event, and the afternoon after we got our assignments I started getting motivated to add to what I’ve posted about it to have something “worth” sharing for the event, and even though I didn’t get the momentum going enough to make progress until after I’d already been reviewed, I made a large amount of progress on that fic just because there was some amount of external pressure.... But that only works if I only do it to myself occasionally. Too often and I’m just annoying everyone by asking them to expect something from me and never following through.)

6. Why did you decide to start writing?

I think I got the right amount of compliments and encouragement when I was in elementary school, on writing assignments and challenges, then I was proud of the original stories I was writing in middle school, and then in high school I figured out that I could create barely-not-me characters and put them through things I wished (or feared) would happen to me and explore the consequences... My depression started getting bad around then, and with it came executive dysfunction and I started having to focus only on schoolwork and still barely finished everything I needed to. I might have stopped writing for longer but then I started publishing fanfiction. initially because my brain was generating it anyway, and I was in a shitty living situation with nothing else to do with my free time that I spent hidden away in my room besides actually type it up, but I kept at it because I was proud of my stories again, and because of the social aspect. And now I continue writing because I love the excuse to explore characters, or just because I can put characters I already love into new and interesting situations.

I might eventually write my own original novel, just because being on writeblr and seeing everyone else writing original works is super motivating, but that requires I have ideas for a setting and a plot and for characters all at once and I’m trying not to force it.

7. Pick a character you’ve written/are writing. What personality trait of theirs defines them most?

I’m going to cheat and peek a bit in the future to when I’m actually writing that fic featuring Julie Kwan, because I ought to have a better handle on her before I get too much further. She’s got a very sharp mind, very good at logical deductions (even if they involve magic before she really knows magic is real) and she’s also fairly good at reading other people. She’s also not afraid to confront people, whether they’re people who are literally threatening her and her friends, or whether they’re her friends and they’re not taking care of themselves sufficiently, or anything in between.

8. What is their primary language? Do they speak it natively? Do they speak any other languages?

...I'm not actually sure. English is her primary language, as she has grown up in the USA. If Julie speaks other languages, Mandarin would be fitting (because that’s Wei’s primary language, and I know Kate also speaks it, so that could add to team unity if over half of them all speak the same non-English language), or maybe Korean depending on her family (since Kwan is usually a Korean name.) Regardless, if she speaks any other languages, then I suspect she also speaks Klingon. @davetheshady can you confirm?

9. What does the character value the most in their life?

Julie is very focused on academia, she’s accomplished and rightfully proud of herself. She wants to be respected, (she’s so tired of being disrespected in academic circles just because she’s neither white nor a man), but she also very much values her friends.

10. If they met you, what would they have to say to you?

I think she would make fun of me for quoting her so often but she makes so many pop culture references, I don’t think she has room to complain. She would probably also encourage me to pursue graduate degrees no matter how “impractical” other people find the subject.

[mo-torious-mo-blog]

[CHANGING MY NAME TO: Mo (first name) Torious (last name)]

i asked my parents if I could come up to westchester to have dinner with them, or to briefly stay while I looked for an apartment.

They said no. It’s funny, Dr Tabar at Belkvue Hospital (Dr Mounir, intake), told me that I should cut off my relationship with my mother. The only reason my father asked me to attend her 80th birthday party, was to keep up appearances. Before the night was over, and after my speech (unmmmzm....I got you a car), he told me in no uncertain terms that I am no longer welcome in his house. I dove get it. His brother Ladipo Fayemi is a caseworker at HRA HASA, who never once intervened for me, and who nobody in that agency thought to refer my case to. Mr. McCoy, used to make fun of the name. No matter, I no longer want to be called that.

I told them that since my father still continues to lie about not having received a copy of the doctored IRS Filings which Lucy Ostrofsky (acting in house counsel) had filed, directly ignoring my instructions, before I was forced out of the company and off the corporate bank account (it takes 3 members of management: myself, Richard McGinnis (Kurt Salmon Associates), President of Motorious Retail Stores (m&m/Mars Family: sponsor of Kyle Bush’s Toyota at NASXAR), patent holder, casino slot machine algorithms) and Philip Munger (who once, unbeknownst to me, withdrew $5,000 in cash from his personal Citibank account, and deposited it into my (the corporate) account, triggering FBI Money Laundering Red Flag: I have never even seen $5,000.00 in cash in one place in my entire life. I spent $500 to $10,000/month on my AMEX PLATINUM: and repaid it within 30 days. Beginning in 1992. Until I didn’t and went bankrupt for $60,000.

Bottom line: I don’t trust the man, and he and I no longer have a relationship. All he and my mother have done is agree with the psychiatrists who keep diagnosing me with paranoid delusions that I run a company. All this, I believe, because the only company he ever ran, ended up in trouble with the IRS. I’m beginning to be really suspect about his book selling and his AIDS Charity for orphans in Africa. Before he kicked me out of the house, he asked me if I wanted to help him with his Foundation, and I said « no » I want German citizenship.

A look at my brief work history shows I never stay in 1 place very long. What’s wrong with having wanted a change and to seek opportunities abroad?

Science Advisers, led by Norman Heyman, Jean Robert Le Shufy, and Kevin DeVito (New Capital Horizons, the US arm of New Capital AG in Switzerland: COPE Holdings (XTERA DAX | NASDAQ) Zuggero, CEO | lent ICV, llc (Integrated Concepts Vehicles, llc, Flipboard.com/@ICV_llc, the first $137,000 after I had lent the corporation $60,000.

MOTORIOUS MONEY GRID: says $100,000.00 loan am was made by Phil Munger on November 1, 1999. If that had been the case, why were none of the vendors at the show paid, and why did I receive a phone message on December 31, 1999 from Philip Munger: joe@planetvida.com.br, the DAY AFTER I received a message from Wayne Irving of Spin Records that he had secured $25 Million from ING Barings?

My only Full Time Employee: John Goodwin, who I met at Pump No 8 at the Mobil Gas Station in Rancho Palos Verdea, took a salary of $80,000.00 + benefits + expense reimbursement, where on July 2, 1999 he secured an LOI with the Make A Wish charity for a proposed October 31, 2000 Charity Rade at Texas Motor Speedway.

He had 9 months to secure a deal with Ford to provide NASCAR vehicles for the event, which was supposed to commemorate 100 Years of Motorsports in America, and also commemorate both Ford and Harley Davidson’s 100th Anniversary. Moose returned saying that the sponsors (especially the protected sponsor, Coke, will not let the drivers out of their contests to drive the event)

Autoweek Magazine, the same issue it quoted several drivers as wanting to participate, reported that My Apple Laptop « had ears ». Motor Trend Magazine wrote an article entitled « The Automotive Analyst », a « fictitious story about a Wall Street analyst having problems with his wife, while talking to his shrink. The concluding sentence: « Build The Car »

My only contribution to Ford would have been when I called the $3 million monstrosity (Focus) built by John Colletti and Motor Trend: Ian Cartabiano has penned a sick Mis-Engined Ford Focus Rally Car, which was to have shared a platform with the Renault R5 (Nissan: where Doi had previously worked after NCIS).

That, and the referral from Mark Stehrenberger to Scott Sharpe Racing, to [Ford Tuner: I ferget] , who wrote a proposal for tuning the 4.0 liter Jaguar V8 for the Motorious Show Stand, as a potential BMW M5 competitor.

Of the $137,000.00 loan, $50,000 went to Mark Stehrenberger Design, who was to generate 3 proposals for the Deusenberg PHAETON: Mercedes Benz Ocean 4 door convertible concept...to. E build at the DRESDEN Factory in Germany), the other $50,000 went to Robert Marianich in Huntington Beach, who was to have converted his studio, and built a « clay resurfaced » proposal of the RIVOLUZIONW: 1999 LA Auto Show, next to Shelby Series One (I met Carroll at Jay Leno’s, where he asked me to contact his assistant, Pearlita Shelby, about helping him with production of the OLDSMOBILE AURORA Engined SERIES ONE: autopsia.wordpress.com, slated to return to INDYCAR, to replace the Honda unit, now that they created Touring Car.  

I wanted to get the rights to MG ROVER (BBC: BMW’s English Patient), known as Rover Sterling 825 in America (Acura Legend): ARCONA | After the misérable failure of Phoenix Holdings, which paid Queen Elizabeth the nominal sum of £10, and then before becoming the four most overpaid executives in the UK Auto Industry. I even went so far as to ask Lakshmi Mittal (Arcelor Mittal and Harris’s) if he would help me to purchase Land Rover from TATA.

CAR AND DRIVER MAGAZINE (Hearst Publications: Vladimir Putin) April Fool’s | Toyota buys Oldsmobile Trademark for $5,000.  

FIAT acquire the right to the Oldsmobile Aurora Engine through my partnership with Carroll Shelby, Gets the Oldsmobile Dealerships (10 year warrante on the engine), Change the nage to Alfa Romeo, and modify the engine for use in US Alfa’s, like the GT-V8, Spider Véloce (Duetto V8: BMWfilms.com Béat the Devil).

Unfortunately, John Goodwin went bankrupt, my ex-wife had a hidden camera in our bedroom vent (Waiting to Exhale, Bernadine’s Rage: 6624 Oceancrest Drive, RPV, CA, 90275). And all of our personal and my corporate accounts were closed on August 14, 2001, due to malfeasance on her part:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

[The Private Bank: Union Bank of California (Mitsubishi Sumitomo: KIRETSU): Peggy Fahnestock, Gloria Marquez: who refinanced my BMW Financial Loan from JP Morgan Chase, because it was higher interest rate than a similarly situated white nan, all other things being equal.

The VENDETTA (redesigned Rivoluzione: 200 LA Auto Show, was in an accident THE FIRST DAY I DROVE IT. I didn’t even make it to the highway. There was at least $100,000? In customization (hand hammered and rolled Aluminum body parts riveted and bonded to the steel: Robin Officer, Captain Metal, Magic Mountain, CA (A Kiwi). who I believe, was interviewed on the Jay Leno show dresses in drag. By keeping all the receipts to every modification, the insurance company: GEICO, had to first restore the vehicle to its original condition, THEN, cover all the replacement customization which they did, before canceling my policy the sane day the lease on my 328i was repossed, with $5,000.00 worth of renderings and sketches by Ian Cartabiano, which actually appeared in Bimmer Magazine in 1998.

My mother refuses to give me my birth certificate. Whats wrong with this picture?

mo torious

On Oct 14, 30 Heisei, at 2:25 AM, mo torious <1.mo.torious.mo.1@gmail.com> wrote:

On Oct 13, 30 Heisei, at 10:56 PM, mo torious <1.mo.torious.mo.1@gmail.com> wrote:

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