#“hey uhhhh i can give you a ride if you want…… it’s not out of the way or anything….. no big deal……’

[osalotte]

no thoughts head empty only college au choso who has never been in a relationship ever x college student assistant teacher of yuuji’s high school film club

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Gamer Girl

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word Count: 1.1K

Notes: girl what are you doing please just write S&C

Buck just wants a little attention, is that too much to ask?

He walks into his house, dropping his bag on the floor and sighing loudly. He runs his hands over his face and looks around, you’re nowhere to be found. He peeks around the corner in the kitchen, grabs a package of cookies off the counter, and walks upstairs. 

He smiles as he comes up, you’re laid out in bed in his t-shirt. It rides up a bit showing off your lack of underwear. His mouth goes dry as he tries to ignore that little fact and just cuddle instead. 

“Hey cutie” Buck crashes onto the bed, scooting up and laying his head on your stomach, rubbing his face on your shirt 

“Hey, how was work?” You give his hair a little ruffle and go back to your switch, biting your lip in concentration 

“It was okay… kind of boring. But that’s good isn’t it?” he toys with the hem of the shirt and looks up at you “What’s uhhhh, what’s with the lack of clothing?” 

“Mhmm…” you nod distractedly. He watches you for a bit, smirking at the way you’re concentrated so intently on the switch in your hands 

“Um, I’m doing laundry. Threw a few of your things in too…” your nose scrunches as you keep playing 

“Oh, thanks…” He looks at you, narrowing his eyes a little

“Do me a favor. Can you uh- just sit in my lap? I want cuddles. You don’t have to stop playing”

“Oh yeah sure…” you mumble and get up, he lays flat on his back and you straddle his waist, settling down on him

“This good?” You ask, still trying to kick the crap out of Wario

“Little higher?” He pulls on your hips, tugging you higher up his body. Eventually, his arms wrap around your waist and he rubs your thighs 

“Right there Princess” 

You nod at him, giving his head a little pat. He adjusts you one more time and you roll your eyes 

“Buck you’re gonna make me-“ 

The words stall in your throat, his hands come up to your hips and he locks his arms over your thighs as his lips wrap around your clit

“Evan Buckley!!” Your hand slaps against the window in front of you as you brace yourself. He hums in response as he sucks your clit, rolling his tongue over it, the vibration sends a little jolt through your body and you moan softly 

“Go back to your game” His voice is muffled from between your legs, his hands splay across your ass as he pushes you down against his mouth more. 

You reach down, tugging at his hair and tilting his head up. He moans against your clit, before laying his tongue flat and dragging it lazily through your folds. Your hips buck against his face and his palm falls heavily on your ass. 

Buck! “You yelp as he rubs the stinging away, soothing the red mark before bringing his hand down again, this time a bit harder. 

“You’re not very good at listening. I said go back to your game you wanted to play so badly. Go kick Wario’s ass baby”

It’s nearly impossible to keep playing with Buck's head between your legs. He moans softly to himself, his pelvis grinding down into the bed as he keeps adjusting himself 

“Hmmm, gonna make me cum hands-free baby girl. Can feel it building, all cause of this wet pussy… tastes so nice. My girl takes care of herself for me”

You feel his praises, his lips moving against yours as he makes out with your soaked, fluttering cunt. You feel his tongue spelling out his name, claiming you with each drawn-out letter. Your thighs shake as he sucks your clit back into his mouth, the euphoric feeling washing over your body. You can’t help the way you start to grind down against this mouth 

“Fuck just like that baby” You can barely understand him, from both the dizzying way he’s attacking your clit and the way you grind down on his mouth “Use my face, pretty girl” 

“Look at you,” You pant, feeling that tug deep in your belly while rolling your hips on his tongue “So drunk on my pussy” 

You know his cheeks are flushed, pretty, and shy. His hips jerk when you say that and you giggle deliriously

“Do I taste that good baby?” You taunt him now “Wanna taste my cum on your tongue?” 

He whimpers from beneath you and suddenly you’re being turned back down onto your ass. His face is still buried deep in your cunt as he stares at you now, his eyes dark and stormy as he laps with a new sense of urgency at your pussy. His eyes roll back in his head and he moans, whining your name 

You stare right back, your heart beating out of your chest as you reach out and grab his hair, tugging him closer to you. He moans loudly, bowing his head. His nose brushes against your clit as his hips start grinding into the bed. He puts your legs over his shoulders and buries his face in your pussy, his tongue dipping in and out as he fucks your hole. 

You grind up into his mouth more, fucking yourself on his face 

“Oh fuck, oh god Evan” You moan his name loudly as your head falls back into the pillows and he hums in approval, his hips moving in faster circles on the bed. He gasps, hot and needy between your legs.

“Please, come on baby, cum for me” His hand trails up your thigh as he moves it off his shoulder, his fingers plunging deep inside you, curling up right on that soft spongy spot 

You nearly jerk off the bed, the way he surprises you like that, his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking and teasing while his fingers are working your body over you cry out his name, your back arching and legs pulling up around his head. 

He grunts your name pathetically and that’s all you need, that little whine on the end syllable and the floodgates are open. You push his face down into your clit more and he laughs breathlessly, sucking harder and biting down just a little. Your juices splash down his chin and onto the bed below you as you rock against him, sobbing desperately. You hear his choked sobs and the bed bouncing a little under you as he finishes against the blankets getting himself off you 

You both lie still for a while, He occasionally nuzzles his nose against your sensitive clit and you whine, pushing his head away while you both recover. He can’t stop cuddling you, his hand lays on your hip, gently drawing little shapes on it. He walks his fingers down your thigh and drags his thumb through your wet folds. You hiss at the contact, still a bit overstimulated 

“What are you doing?” 

“If you think I’m stopping at one sweet thing, I may have fucked you dumber than I thought”

[mustainegf]

Hey vro… for your FIRST LAR FIC WOOOOOO

can you do 1997 Lars with uhhhh femdom and praise kink ♥️

i #wanna get so freaky with you vroski

GUYS, KENNE CONVINCED ME TO OPEN LARS REQUESTS CREDIT TO MY BAE @mxtal-up-ur-ass

I’m gonna write 1983-1999 for him

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: femdom, unprotected sex, mommy kink

𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐃 ¹⁹⁹⁷

We were in our bedroom, with the lights dimmed down. The musk seemed to curl off his skin, and I knew he was ready for me.

"Get down on your knees, Lars," I ordered, trying to keep my voice firm but husky. He did, his eyes still locked on mine as he dropped down to his knees. I walked up to him, letting my fingers meander down his chest, feeling the lean muscles beneath his skin.

"You've been a good boy, Lars," I whispered, my breath hot him. "You deserve a reward." I let my hands slip down further to slide along the top of his pants before tugging them down. His hard cock in view now, my mouth began to salivate.

I began rubbing him, my fingers curling around his shaft. He groaned, his head falling back while I stroked him. I could feel his pulse beating in time to mine.

"Oh, mommy," he whispered, his voice shaking. I loved it when he called me mommy. It was so.submissive, so deliciously obedient.

"Shh, baby," I cooed, my lips chilling. "Let Mommy take care of you." I leaned in, my tongue darting out to lick the head of his cock. He shuddered, his hips bucking against my mouth.

I drew back, my eyes meeting his. "Get on the bed, Lars," I directed, firm once more.

He scrambled to do so, his cock bobbing as he moved. I followed, my eyes never leaving his as I climbed onto the bed beside him.

I straddled him, my thighs gripping his hips as I positioned myself above him. His cock strained up toward me, and I couldn't resist teasing him just a little.

"You want me, Lars?" I teased huskily. "You want Mommy to ride you?"

"Yes, Mommy," he begged, desperate. "Please, Mommy."

I leaned forward, my lips against his ear. "You have to beg, baby. You have to show mommy you're worthy." I rocked against him in that slow sway of my hips.

"Please, mommy," he whispered, voice cracking. "Let me cum. Please."

I laughed, husky and cruel. "You think you deserve to cum, baby? You think you're worthy of that?" I leaned in, nipping at his earlobe. "You have to prove it to me, baby."

He groaned, his hips bucking against me as I continued to tease him. I could feel his cock throbbing beneath me, the pulse of his heartbeat echoing.

"I'll be good, mommy," he promised, his voice still trembling. "I'll do anything."

I laughed again, and the sound reverberated around the room. "Anything, Lars? Are you sure?" I leaned in closer,"You have to give me everything, baby."

"Yes, mommy," he whispered, his eyes locked on mine. "I'll give you everything."

I smiled, my lips curling upwards in satisfaction. "Good boy, Lars," I cooed. "Now, let's see if you can make mommy proud." I leaned in, my hips sinking down onto his cock. He groaned, arching his body up towards me as I began to ride him.

"Oh, mommy," he whispered, his voice trembling. "You feel so good."

I laughed, a husky and cruel sound. He groaned, his hips bucking against me, while I continued riding him. His cock was throbbing inside me. I knew he was close, his body was shaking from the need to cum.

"Beg, Lars," I ordered firm voiced. "Beg mommy to let you cum."

"Please, mommy," he whispered. "Let me cum. Please."

I laughed, the sound cruel. "You have to do better than that, baby," I taunted.

"Please, mommy," he begged, his voice cracking. "I'll do anything. Just let me cum."

I leaned in, kissing his forehead. "You have to beg like a good little boy."

"Please, mommy," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Let me cum. Please, mommy."

I smiled, my lips curling upwards in satisfaction. "Good boy, Lars," I cooed, my voice softening for a moment. I leaned in again, my hips clapping down onto his cock. He groaned, his body arching up towards me.

He was close now, his body shaking with the urge to cum. I could feel it too, my own arousal heightening as he thrust beneath me. We were lost in our moment now, our bodies forcing against each other in an insanely erotic dance.

Then Lars' eyes locked onto mine, and he whispered, "Mommy." His voice was very low, but I heard him quite clearly.

"I'm close," he warned, body tensing.

My lips curled upwards in satisfaction as I smiled. "That's it, baby," I encouraged, the movement of my hips increasing against him. "Cum for mommy, fill mommy’s pussy with your cum."

He groaned, his body bending as he released himself. His cock throbbed within me, filling the air with the sweet scent of his arousal.

I bent forward. "Good boy, Lars," I whispered. "You made mommy proud."

He smiled, his eyes closing, lying beneath me, his body still trembling from his orgasm. My hips still strummed up and down on his lap as I felt his cock pulsating inside me.

"You're such a good boy, Lars," I whispered, my voice softening for a moment. "Mommy's so proud of you."

[warmaidensrevenge]

It's not a never.

Pairing: Eddie x best friend!Fem reader

A/N: Hey loves. Hope you all had a great week. Tonight's fic is part one of two. I hope all you like it. As always thanks for reading. Kay love ya byyyye.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A credit to original posters and artists. Thank you for your work.

Word count: 3,045

Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Language, angst, sexual implications and not proof read.

Summary: New feelings? Yeah Eddie's got it bad.

Part 1

Eddie looked around the cafeteria table at his friends. “ Uhhhh you're joking…you gotta be joking…pfff that's hilarious.”

Everyone sat there in silence.

“ Guys? Seriously?! No way! No fuckin way!” He said, putting his hands up. “ Nope!”

He locked eyes with you and raised his brows. “ Common, you agree with me right?”

You averted your gaze to your lunch and shrugged. 

He looked at the imbecile that brought up the subject in the first place. “ You turned her against me!”

Gareth scoffed. “ Dude no. All I'm trying to say is that prom is like a highschool right of passage. I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss out.”

Eddie tuts and narrowed his eyes at him. “ Miss out on what exactly? Penguin suits?”

You answered his question. “ You guys don't have to wear tuxedos. You can wear all black. Like always.”

He shot you a look and you smiled at him.

He rolled his eyes. “ Okay how about shitty music?”

You answered again. “ They're bound to play something good.”

He gave snake eyes now to you and you stuck your tongue at him. 

“ Okay how about all of us are broke and we can't afford a limo?”

You opened your mouth to respond but he pressed his lips and widened his eyes at you.

Grant cleared his throat. “ Ehem. Well, you do have a van.”

Eddie licked his lips and looked at his lunch box. “ You guys are nuts. I'm admitting you all to Arkham…I-I can't believe you're trying to convince me to go to prom…Where the hell am I gonna find a date?”

“ Eddie, we're going together as a group. No dates.”

He looked up at you and you gave him a pout. God he hated when you did that. He could never say no when you put your lip out like that.

“Do you even own any dresses?” He asked sarcastically. 

When you beamed at him, he gave you a defeated look. You'd convinced him.

You smirked.“ Oh you'd be surprised what I have in my closet.” 

Eddie sat there and kept shaking his head while his friend talked about the plan for prom. 

…

He couldn't believe it. Eddie absolutely could not believe he was doing this. He was driving to a damn dance. It was the last thing in the world he thought he would be doing. Yet here he was. Pulling up to the last stop before prom. 

He lowered the music and parked in front of your house. He honked the horn and waited. 

A minute passes and he sees your mom open the door. She then motioned for them to come in.

Eddie sighed when he saw her waving a camera. This was not a night he wanted to remember. Or there to be any evidence of it ever happening. 

Everyone hopped out and walked to the house.

“ Oh my! You guys look sharp.” Victoria said, giving them each a hug.

Eddie grinned and gave her a warm embrace. “ Look who's talking. You look ravishing.”

Victoria playful slapped his chest. “ Oh you.”

“ Seriously Eddie? Dude, stop hitting on my mom.”

He turned his head to give you a smirk but instead his jaw nearly hit the floor. 

There was only one word to describe how you looked coming into the foyer in your off the shoulders black satin dress. 

Beautiful.

That word along with your name in the same sentence was not normal. Well other than him saying (That nat 20 was beautiful y/n.)

But now you are beautiful. Not that he thought you were ugly or something. It's just he never thought about that at all. 

You were just one of the guys. A kid that liked to ride bikes and wrestle with boys. A kid that didn't care if you got dirty or cried when you scraped your knee. 

You were one of his best friends and up until now, he never saw you as anything more. 

“ Stop gawking dude.”

Your comment woke him up from his initial shock.

“ Ermmm. Y-you clean up alright kid.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “ Gee thanks. I appreciate that. You don't look awful yourself. I see you pulled out your funeral attire.”

He looked down at his black short sleeve button up and his uncle's black slacks. Along with his white Reeboks. 

“ Well you did say-” he looked up and you turned around and went to say hi to everyone else. 

You always did that. Whenever he was gearing up to argue, you would walk away. It always irritated the living fuck out of him. However, right now all he could do was smile to himself. 

Before the group pictures you had gotten each of them a white rose to pin on their shirt. Eddie watched you smile happily as you and your mom put them on.

When it was his turn, his heart started to race. You were so close to him, he could smell your perfume. It was sweet and floral. Playful yet sexy. Something he could smell forever. He could just bury his nose in your neck and die happily. 

He shook off the intruding thoughts and focused on your hands. 

“ OUCH!” He hissed.

You pulled your hands away and looked up at him worriedly. He grinned and thought your forehead looked so cute when you pinched your brows together like that. 

He grinned. “ Just kidding.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and mumbled under your breath. “ You dick.”

He chuckled and apologized.

…

You guys were sitting at a table near the exit in the gym. Talking amongst yourself. Eddie would have complained how they have been there for half an hour and the DJ has yet to play a passable song. Instead, he sat there wondering if he should ask you to dance. Would it be weird? No one else asked you yet. And he didn't think Gareth or Jeff would. Grant maybe. Because he liked all kinds of music and loved to dance. And he had a secret crush on you.

But Eddie had to beat him to the punch. He needed to know what it felt like to hold you close. 

Just as his mind went haywire, he felt you tap his thigh and began spelling something out.

‘U- ok?’

He glanced at you and nodded. He always did like how you guys secretly communicated. He put his arm on the back of your chair and started writing on your back with his thumb.

‘Yeah- u?’

He kept his thumb pressed against your skin. Loving the warmth radiating from it and how smooth it was.

You wrote back. ‘Hungry.’

He looked down at your salad plate and it was empty. While cursing at himself for declining his salad that he should have given you, he searched around for more food. 

He leaned in towards you when he found some. “I'll be right back.”

He got up and went for a plate when someone sat down in front of the one he was eyeing. He sighed and went on the hunt for another. It took a few minutes but eventually he was able to sneak one.  When he came back he saw that you and everyone else at the table had a dinner plate already.

You grinned at him. “ I spoke too soon. But I'll totally eat that one too.”

He shook his head. “ I think all of us are gonna need 3 servings of this. With how much the tickets cost, they could at least give us more than an ice cream scoop of potatoes and a chicken wing.”

You agreed with him and offered to take them out for burgers after.

You guys were in the middle of eating when yours and his song came on. You immediately put down your fork and wiped the corners of your mouth.

“ Mhmmm. Okay! Let's go.” You said standing up. “ Let's do this.”

Everyone looked at each other and got up too. Except him. 

“ Muuunnnnsooonn.” You sang out, walking backwards towards the dance floor. “ Common. This is our song dude. We have to.”

He chuckled while you pretended to cast out a line and start to reel him in. 

He had no choice. He had to join and belt out the song with you. 

What's goin on!”

While grabbing his hand, you started swaying with him and the others. 

🎵

“ And so I wake in the morning and I step outside. And I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream at the top of my lungs.

🎵

Eddie re-lived all the memories you and him had.

All the times he was bummed or sick. You would show up with food and sing that song. When you had a bad day at school or got anything less than a ‘A’ on an assignment, he would wrap his arms around you and rock you back and forth. Singing at the top of his lungs. Making you laugh like crazy. 

He liked hearing you laugh. Especially when you laughed so hard that you would let out a small snort. He also liked how your fingers felt, scratching his head when he had a headache. The way you hummed What's Up? always made him feel better. 

Even now, seeing you rock back and forth, singing your heart out. It made an alright night to one he'll never forget. 

…

A couple weeks went by and Eddie couldn't get you out of his head. After prom, everything went back to normal. Except his feelings. You weren't that kid anymore. You weren't just one of his best friends. 

In addition to being that, you were a girl who he wanted to hold. Maybe kiss and have sleepovers. Well, a different kind of sleepover than he was used to. 

He tried so hard to avoid you as much as possible during those weeks. But he eventually missed you, so he gave into whatever was taken over his heart.

All the times he hugged you hello and goodbye would last a little longer. He became more affectionate than he'd ever been. Random tickling you when it wasn't weird. Just so he could touch you. Or he constantly had his arm around your shoulders whenever you were together. 

He thought no one would notice since it was so close to graduation. But he was wrong. Apparently he was doing it so much that Gareth had to pull him aside and talk to him.

“ What the hell's going on man?”

Eddie's eyes went wide. The jig was up. “ Ermmm hmmm? What's up?”

Gareth crossed his arms and stood quiet. That's all he needed to do to get Eddie to talk. That and a stare down.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “ I…I don't know what happened…one minute she's who she's always been and the next, she's not.”

Gareth tilted his head to the side and remained silent.

Eddie clicked his tongue and shook his head. “ Look man, I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I feel different.”

Gareth straightened his head and raised his brows.

Eddie let out a long sigh. “ Fine! I like her. I like her, like her.”

Gareth smirked and put a hand on his shoulder. “ Welcome to the club.”

Eddie jerked his head back. “ What the hell does that mean?”

Gareth laughed. “ Dude! We all had a crush on her at some point. Remember when Jeff needed help with the spelling bee in the 6th grade?”

Eddie nodded.

“ Well she helped him for a whole 2 weeks. Jeff swore he loved her after that. And Grant…well you know he always liked her. But it really hit him when she decked Jenny for calling him fatso.”

Eddie was quiet for a second. “ W-what about you?”

Gareth put his hands in his pocket and gave him a thin lip smile. “Uhhhh…so I broke my arm once. Before you moved here…She helped me out a lot during that summer. She did my chores and helped cut up my food sometimes… You know, she was the only one who signed my cast.” He smiled. “ She's a great friend. She always has been. Honestly, I'm surprised it did happen to you sooner.”

Eddie licked his lips and put his hands in his back pockets. They had all liked you because you helped them out or defended their honor. But you hadn't done anything different with him. Besides you looking incredible at the dance, there was nothing that he could think of that made him like you like that.

“ S-so all of you guys still like her like that?”

Gareth shook his head. “ Nah man. I knew that it was just a crush. And Jeff, well Jeff's dating Connie. Grant…Grant still likes her. He even tried to kiss her.”

Eddie flexed his jaw. “ What?! When?!”

“ Prom.”

“ PROM?!”

“ DUDE!” Gareth hushed him up. “ Calm down. You left to get food and he tried. But she let him down gently. She said that she sees him as a brother. In fact, she sees all of us as family. And it would be weird if she dated any of us.”

Eddie's heart sank. Did you really think that about all of them or just the 3 stooges?

“ Look Munson, don't worry about it. It will go away.”

“ What-what if it doesn't?”

Gareth shrugged. “ Then talk to her. Maybe she can say something that will make you feel better about it.”

All of sudden Eddie felt hands on his hips.

“ Hey ladies! What are we gossiping about?”

He turned slightly to find you staring up at him. His heart fluttered seeing your amazing smile.

Gareth spoke up when Eddie couldn't answer.“ uhhhh nothing. Just talking about Mrs O'Donnells final.”

You huffed and grabbed his hand. Pulling it over your shoulders. Lacing your fingers with his. 

What did that mean? It was weird right? You and him were close. But now that he had feelings for you, everything you did seemed intimate.

“ Don't you guys worry, okay. I've helped both of you and you'll do fine. Then all of us are gonna walk the line and finally get the hell out of here.”

You looked up at him and beamed. Making him grin right back. 

There was a moment there where he thought that you felt the same for him. But that was squashed when you let go of his hand and hook your arm around Gareth’s. 

“ Now common. They're serving pizza and you know how I love pizza Fridays.”

He and Gareth chuckled and responded at the same time. “ More than us.”

You started for the cafeteria. “ You betcha!” 

…

A week later and Eddie still couldn't shake you. He just couldn't get past the thought of being with you. Or even if what he felt was just a hard core infatuation. But nothing could prepare him for the events of senior outing.

It wasn't camping or a field trip to Washington. It was a movie in the park. 

Sure, you guys could have rented a decent horror flick and binge out on snacks in your basement. But you argued that it was one of the last chances to hang out. So of course everyone went. 

Eddie was walking back with Jeff. Hauling bags of popcorn and drinks for everyone. As soon as he was close enough he caught your eye. You bit your lip and waved him over. 

He immediately felt butterflies in his stomach. 

When he sat down you scooted closer to him and covered his legs with a blanket you brought. 

You then grabbed your purse and pulled out his favorite candy.

He smiled and patted himself down. Pulling out a box of milk duds from his jacket pocket.

“ Awwww you remembered. Thanks.”

His eyes went wide when you gave him a peck on the cheek. 

He had only a second of shock before he tried to brush it off. “ Of-of course. I could never forget.”

You happily rocked side to side as you combined the candy and popcorn. Then you held out a bite for him. 

His heart started to race the closer your hand got to his mouth. 

He closed his eyes and let you feed him.

Under any other circumstances, this was totally normal. You were very affectionate. It actually annoyed him most of the time. However this time, it only served to make him think you actually did like him too.

As the movie he couldn't pay attention to kept playing, he tried not to think about his “crush”. But it was a battle he was losing. Every time you would laugh, it would warm his heart. Every time you guys reached for popcorn at the same time, your fingers would touch. All he wanted to do was hold your hand or pull you closer by your waist.

Then like a sign from above, the wind picked up. You moved closer to keep warm. Out of nowhere you rested your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his upper thigh. That's when his breath caught in his throat. He tried to clear it and ended up coughing. 

Without hesitation your reached over and lifted up your lemonade for him to take a sip.

He licked his lips and took a drink. After you put the cup down, you started tracing across his thigh. 

‘Better?’

He gulped and nodded. “I uhh I'm gonna get us refills.”

He felt your eyes on him as he got up and grabbed your cup and his. 

While he walked to the snack bar he tried to talk down a chubby. This wasn't okay. The way you made him feel was agonizing. But in such a good fucking way.

When he hit the stand there was a huge line. 

Shit! He thought. 

By the time he got back to the spot, you had moved to sit between Gareth and Grant. That's when he noticed you wearing Grant's leather coat. He instantly got jealous. 

You looked up and gave him a small smile. “ Sorry Eddie. I got really cold while you were gone.”

He shook his head. “ It's cool. The line was long.”

Once he handed you your drink he plopped down and sulked.

Obviously his feelings weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

What the hell was he gonna do?

…

@salenorona23

[headingalaxys-spicy]

hello 👋 i really love your writing 😖 i was wondering if you could write yandere alphas nordic's x darling omega who has a very high libido? 😏 thank you ❤😄

Well this is one way to start the week enjoy anon :)

Warning! This is a spicy post, so turn away now if this isn't for you!

Denmark 🇩🇰 

Finally, there is someone who can keep up with him in the bedroom. Also, destroy him. 

In order to slow you down, he does have you take a shot of Akvavit (snaps) every hour or half hour (more depending on how rough you are riding him or sucking his soul out). This, however, does backfire often because you’ll be all fired up again & you’ll want to peg him, but considering he’s bossy, he will ‘guide’ you on how to do it properly. 

Denmark even approached Japan with: “Hey! I need help making a machine that can slow Y/N in bed?” 

The dude has even tried to design a piece of furniture that can hold you in place so he doesn’t have to be bottom all the time, but he also hopes your libido would give out due to you having to contort your body so much. 

He hates admitting that he needs a break from you. The fastest he’s ever recovered was 23 hours. The longest was 4 m

When he’s not as patient, he has cuffs on the wall, tables, or bathroom counters where he’ll keep you there so he can rail you without getting injured by you thrusting back or squeezing him for all he’s got. He loves that you can beat him in bed; just intimidated is all. 

Finland 🇫🇮 

He needs some time to adjust to your abundance of energy. As you pound into him ruthlessly, Tino just grins, bears it, and moans. 

What the heck else can he do? He praises you a lot as well. 

“Y/N you’re doing great ah! But maybe can you slow down?!” He’s silently praying to god you’re going to get tired. 

Tino will want to do a lot of foreplay to start to satisfy some tension & just maybe make you not as rough and needy. (He does have a lot of costumes + props) 

On occasion, he does like to tell bad jokes that will kill the mood if you’ve milked him for all he’s got seed-wise. Or if he’s feeling up to the challenge, he’ll take meds that will help him last longer so he can attempt to keep up with you. 

Tends to like doing it in or near a sauna since it reduces your libido a little & relaxes you. Tino is able to keep his sweaty palm on your waist so that you won’t ride him like he’s a dead horse. (Also just makes getting to the aftercare a smoother transition) 

Iceland 🇮🇸 

Uhhhh like isn’t he a teenager still (he’s an adult I think????) ? Also don’t come for me but I also don’t know his human name I haven’t been able to find one on the hetalia Wikis so like yeah . 

Mans just throws a pillow at you and fucking dips. 

I'm not comfortable writing spicy stuff for him. 

Norway 🇳🇴 

Lukas can take your energy like a stoic in the eye of a storm. He can also appreciate the fact that, being a person with the gift of magical abilities, he has his own unique ways of subduing you. He utilizes his ties with his far friends to assist him in taking away some of your sexual energy and giving it to him so he can keep up. 

Lukas has toyed with different potions to slow your libido down. Some had no effect. Others made his nights with you longer and ran him absolutely rugged. He’d be out of commission for a few weeks at times. The fastest he’s able to recover is 2-3 days at the fastest but nothing sooner than that. 

Lukas thinks it a fun challenge to rail you & he likes to mysteriously whisper in your ear: 

“You’re quite the challenge, Y/N, I like that.” 

He tends to prefer you bouncing up and down on him so he can gauge how much longer he has to last while you're riding him, as your latest wave of thrusting can be particularly harsh. He may not say much else to you but grunt in pleasure and moan. He also likes to bite down on his lips and keep it to a minimum when he’s failing to keep up with you and edging towards passing out. 

Sweden

From no words at all to talking all night long like he was at a never-ending ball, you are a type of blessing he didn’t know he needed. 

The fact that you’ll slam him to the floor, the table, cabinets, bookcases, telephone booths, you name it; this tall 5’11 (182 cm) tall man is at your mercy and enjoys it. 

Berwald practically sings your praises as if he trained himself all his life to be a tenor for the Royal Swedish Opera. “Oh yes! Y/N! Y/N! Please don’t stop!” Will be among his symphony for the night. He does communicate with you when you’re hurting his junk, being too rough, or thrusting too quickly.

The two of you do argue or pull sticks over who's going to be at the bottom for that session. 

Like Denmark, he does like to have specialized furniture that he can use to wear you out & your high-ass libido. 

He can recover the quickest from having sex with you give him 12 hours and a cup of coffee, and he’s all good to go again. Only once did you manage to keep him out of commission for 4 months. 

[dudeslut]

Hey, quick question: do you think you can vum from penetration only? Like, if I fuck your front hole with a vibrating strap, rut deep and fast into you, and hold your hands above your head so you can't touch yourself, just lay there and moan like a good slut as I fuck you, will you cum on my cock like a good boy? Or will you whine and beg in my ear to let you touch, just a little, moan and tell me how your cock needs attention so bad?

If I let you eat me out, suck my tdick and taste my precum, while I slowly finger your ass, stretching you out and gently playing with your prostate, will you cum for me? Or will your tdick stay hard and red, aching for just the slightest touch to release?

And if I slide my hand into your boxers, and fuck you in quick shallow thrusts as I bite and lick your neck, will you cum then and there in your underwear like the pathetic slut you are? Or will you rut agains my palm, trying to get just enough friction on your cock to reach your climax?

No wrong answers, sweetheart. I promise. Just want to know what to expect, so I can fuck you right.

-🪻

Damn fuck shit hhhhhh fuck god this. This uhhhh hoooo okay. This reading this force-restarted my brain and I may have made some rather uhhhh interesting noises 😵‍💫🥵😵‍💫🥵😵‍💫🥵😵‍💫

Well as much as I'd love to be able to, I am unable to cum from penetration alone so feel free to use that against me (which it seems like you are god damn 🥵). The added vibrating will get me close, but keep me riding the edge, desperate, and pliable. Just thinking about it is making me squirm; I'd take your cock so good, moaning as I feel you so fucking deep in me.

My moans turning into whines and whimpers as you neglect my tdick. I'd try bucking against you, anything to get some kind of friction. Short panted breaths punctuated by my whines as I revel in the feeling of you fucking me so good but being unable to cum. I wouldn't be able to hold back from begging. I'd beg for you. Touch me. Let me touch myself. Please! Is that what you want? For me to embarrass myself by begging for you. I'd do it. It aches so much and I need it.

Can't let all the drool pooling in my mouth go to waste, so of course I'd eagerly eat you out and suck you off. Anything to make you feel good. Would my tongue plunging in and out of your wet hole be enough? I'd moan from your taste. Maybe you'd be better convinced when I swipe my tongue up the shaft of your tdick before wrapping my lips around the head. I'd be moaning of course, because pleasing you with my mouth makes me so horny since I'm such a slut. Your fingers working my ass would just add to the symphony of rumbling moans escaping my mouth and shooting down your cock as I bob my head enthusiastically.

At this point every point of stimulation feels like fire. A controlled burn as you keep me on the edge, avoiding the one thing you know will undo me. By the time your mouth is attacking my neck while your hand fucks me, I'd be so far gone with desire. With need. Love feeling you suck marks into my skin in such a sensitive spot. It almost feels like you're trying to rip the noises directly from the source.

Cockdrunk and wanting. Maybe if I beg more, but all that seems to come out is incoherent garbles and swears as all my focus is aimed at release. At giving my cock just any attention at all. I'd resort to using my eyes which are hooded and blown wide in torturous ecstasy, to silently beg. I feel every twitch of need from my cock as if it were lightning through me. My hips stuttering with no rhythm, bucking, grinding. Please. Jack me off? Take me in your mouth? Just one finger stroking? Hell, just hold your hand out and I'll hump myself on it to completion. I'll do whatever it takes to be your good boy so you'll touch me or let me touch myself.

[zombiebastian]

Beavis and Butthead in Saw

I have decided to repost my B&BH Saw fan fiction here on tumblr, the original is on AO3 my account is MrScissorsFanboy, enjoy the story!

Disclaimers: this fan fiction of course, contains violence and stuff, it is based on Saw after all. Second of all Beavis and Butthead are positioned differently than Lawrence and Adam were in the movie and the bathroom is a bit smaller. Third of all I hadn't watched Saw in a while when I first wrote this so I apologize if I get some details wrong

ENJOY!!

They had found themselves in an odd situation, the last thing Beavis and Butthead remembered before waking up in this cold dark place was watching TV at night, then they noticed a weirdo in a pig mask had been standing in a dark area in the room, next thing they know everything had faded to black.

"Damnit Butthead is this some kinda prank?!" Exclaimed Beavis, pulling the plug from the cold bathtub he had woken up in "Where the hell did you take me?!"

"Shut up bunghole, I didn't take you anywhere!" Butthead yelled back, unlike Beavis he didn't wake up in a bath tub but instead was on the cold hard floor.

Beavis rolled out of the bath, and tried to walk around the pitch black room, only to realise there was something around his foot "Uhhhh, Butthead, whats this round my foot?" He asks.

Suddenly the lights turned on, it turned out they had awoken in a dirty bathroom with one of their foots chained to pipes, Beavis pulled at the chains trying to pull his foot out "What kinda weird prank is this?!"

"Hey Beavis, remember that chick in the pig mask?" Butthead asks, "Oh yeah, I remember her," Butthead explained his theory,

"What if like... She kidnapped us and she's one of those -kinky chicks? Whats that thing called again... Ehh... BTSM?!"

Beavis replied "Whats a BTSM?"

"Ehhh... I think it stands for Bandage To Slut Moms? Its when she like ties you up and like... Rides your weiner?"

Beavis is confused by what Butthead just said "How does someone even ride a weiner?" He asks, Butthead answers

"Hold on, wait my memory is coming back, its when she ties you up and like handcuffs you, and then she takes you to this special theme park where you ride this big roller coaster where the cart looks like a weiner, huhuhuhu,"

-"Maybe we should wait and that kinky chick in the pig mask will come back and take us to the weiner coaster, HOLY CRAP BUTTHEAD LOOK!" Beavis suddenly yells when they somehow just realise that there is a dead person in the middle of the bathroom.

This dead person is covered in blood and holds a gun in one hand and a tape recorder in the other.

"This chicks a murderer!" Exclaimed Beavis "We have to find a way out of here before she comes and kills us too!"

"Shut up Beavis," replied Butthead "He's holding a gun in his hand, I think I know what this means, not only is she into tying up people and putting handcuffs on them, she's also into something called gunplay!"

"I don't like the sound of that!" Beavis said with a slight tone of fear in his voice

"You're not getting it Beavis, soon that kinky pig chick will come in here, and we will finally do what we've been waiting to do for our whole lives, we shall score,"

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO SCORE IF THAT MEANS I'M GONNA GET SHOT, WHAT THE HELLS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Yelled Beavis, that clearly didn't really calm him much.

"Don't worry, maybe we can convince her not to do that gunplay thing, I have some crushed up nachos in my pocket maybe we can give those to her and then she wont shoot us or something," Butthead explains as he reaches into his back pocket, except he didn't feel any of his crushed up nachos but a weird square shaped object.

"Hey Beavis, whats this?"

Beavis answers "Uhhhh, it looks like a small tape, like the ones we keep our special movies on, except that wouldn't fit in the TV and I doubt there's any hot chicks on there,"

"Hey Beavis, check your pockets, maybe you have something else we could give to that chick so she won't shoot us," Butthead suggests

"Yeah yeah, good idea," replies Beavis

Beavis reaches into his pockets and also finds a small tape "Damn its just another one of those tape thingys! I doubt these can convince her not to do the gunplay stuff with us,"

"Calm down dude, she won't score with you if you're all jittery like that, chicks aren't into that typa stuff," Butthead says in annoyance.

Beavis of course, doesn't calm down, yes he's wanted to score with a hot chick for so long but not one who might shoot him in the head!

"Hey Butthead, I just came up with an idea, what if we put these tapes... In that dead guys tape recorder!" Beavis said,

Butthead says back "No dude, thats dumb, in situations like these we have to like, think out the box or something,"

"Whatever, you do you, I'm gonna put my tape in there," Beavis tried to reach for the tape recorder in the dead guys hand but it was too far for him to reach

"Eh! If only I wasn't chained to this thingamajig!"

"I told you it was dumb, Beavis, now start thinking outside the box like I said!" Butthead exclaims angrily.

"Think outside the box? Butthead we aren't even in a box! Unless..." Beavis had came to a revelation "Butthead I figured it out! We aren't in some random bathroom! We're in a giant box!"

There was a moment of silence before Butthead replied "That could make sense, afterall the room is square shaped like a box, but why would someone put turd filled toilets and a huge bathtub in a box? Not to mention that dead guy,"

"Maybe its to like... Throw us off? But we figured it out with our genuis!" Beavis said, now with a more cocky and excited tone.

"Yeah yeah, more like my genius, I was the one who said the box thing first," Butthead responds.

The 2 sit there trying to figure out what to do next, but eventually Butthead falls asleep due to being a lazy teenager.

Beavis looks over to check if his friend is still asleep before attempting to get the tape recorder from the dead guy again.

"Think outside the box my ass," he rambles to himself, clearly not agreeing Butthead's "genuis". He attempts to reach over and grab it but keeps failing.

"Damnit dude why couldn't you have died a little closer?!"

Eventually Beavis is able to get the tape recorder by bending fowards and using hid big forhead to drag it across the floor. He then took its and put his tape recording into it.

The tape started to play and it was a lot louder than expected so it woke Butthead up

"God damnit Beavis I told you to never wake me up or I'd kick your ass! You're luckily I'm chained to this pipe,"

"Ahaha sorry about that, I was just listening to this tape," Beavis then rewinds the tape so they can both listen to it.

"Beavis, this is your wake up call. Everday of your life, you and your friend Butthead watch TV and talk about sexual intercourse, and at school you misbehave and drive your teachers insane. I'm giving you a chance to rebirth yourself, your aim in the game is to kill Butthead, if you do not kill him by 6:00 your TV will be destroyed and you will be left here to rot. Just remembered X marks the spot for the treasure. Let the games begin. Follow your heart,"

The 2 were left in shocked silence.

"Oh no... HE'S GONNA DESTROY OUR TV!!" Yells Beavis in absolute horror

"Calm down Beavis, put my tape thing in there, it might give us another way to save the TV," Butthead, despite being terrified that he may lose his beloved TV, tried to remain calm.

Butthead threw his tape at Beavis, and Beavis put it into the tape recorder.

"Rise and shine, Butthead. You're probably wondering where you are. I'll tell you where you might be. You might be in the room you die in. Up until now all you've done is watch TV and talk about sexual intercourse with your friend Beavis, and when at school you do the opposite of what all of your teachers say. Now I see you as a strange mix of someone angry, yet stupid, mostly just pathetic. So are you going to watch yourself die today, Butthead. Or are you going to do something about it?"

"Woah... Huhuhuhu, cool, I might die, like the people in that sick zombie movie," Butthead spoke "Anyways we need to look for the clues in the tapes, have any ideas Beavis?"

Beavis at this point was hyperventilating and having a weird panic attack "BUT... OUR TV!!!" He screams.

"Shut up bunghole, the sooner we find clues the sooner we can save the TV, then we can watch our "special movies" with the hot chicks,"

Beavis tries to calm down but is still clearly in distress "Okay okay... In my tape he mentioned something about being rebirthed... Rebirthing myself... REBIRTHING MYSELF?! AM I PREGNANT WITH MYSELF?!"

"I don't think so, where would the rebirthed version of yourself come out? Your butt?" Butthead asks sarcastically.

The 2 sat in silence for a few seconds before Butthead broke the silence once more

"So like... What do we do?"

Beavis exclaims "You're the one who said look for clues!"

Butthead then replies "Yeah but like... I never knew it would be this hard,"

They both looked around for clues before Butthead laughed

"Hey Beavis, there's a heart on the toilet next to you, its drawn in poop, huhuhu,"

Beavis looks and begins laughing alongside his friend

"It does! Hahahaha!"

Butthead then suddenly came to a revelation that this may be their next clue

"Hey Beavis, you have to dig your hand in the toilet, that is our next clue,"

Beavis looked at Butthead for a few moments with an angry expression "What the hell?!" He exclaims "No Butthead you do it! There's like... Turds in there!"

Butthead replied "You're closer to it dumbass!" Before throwing the tape recorder at Beavis, howevet it missed him and hit the top of the toilet which knocked the tank off.

"What the hell is wrong with you, fartknocker?! Oh wait! Look there's something in there," Beavis says, standing up and taking the lid off the tank to reveal a bag.

"You see Beavis? Just stick with me and before we know it our TV will be saved, and maybe we'll get to score with that pig chick," Butthead said cockily as Beavis places the bag on the floor and opens it.

In the bag were two saws and a picture of them both watching TV

"This picture... This was taken just before that pig chick showed up!" Beavis exclaims

"How do you know?" Butthead asks

"Because we're wearing the same shirts!" Answers Beavis

Butthead proceeded to throw a random object he found on the floor towards Beavis again, this time it hit him in the head

"That's because we always wear the same shirt dumbass!" Butthead yelled angrily.

"Ah! Oh yeah you're right... Hehehe,"

"Anyways, I think we use the saws to like, cut the chains off," suggests Butthead, Beavis answers

'Yeah yeah good idea,"

They try to cut through the chains using the saws but it doesn't work, the chains are too strong

"Damnit, its not working!" Beavis exclaims angrily

"Son of a bitch," Butthead sighs when his saw broke while trying to cut through the chains "This sucks," in frustration Butthead threw his broken hacksaw at the wall, specifically a part where there was a mirror, it smashed against it and as the glass shards came tumbling down, it revealed a camera.

"Woah Butthead, I think you found another clue!" Beavis says "So somebody is watching us..."

"Yeah, uhhhh, hello?" Butthead tries to communicate with the person watching them through the camera but then realises they probably cant talk to him "Maybe we should like, turn the lights off so they cant see us or something,"

Beavis noticed that next to him was a light switch, so he did what Butthead said and turned off the lights "So what now?" Beavis asks, Butthead answers "Its pretty obvious you fartknocker, we try figure out our next clue,"

The boys look around trying to find the next clue, when they notice an X on the wall written in some sort of glow in the dark substance.

"Look Beavis, X marks the spot, like the guy said on the tape. Its all starting to make sense now," Butthead explains, the X was close fo Beavis so he went ahead and checked it out.

Beavis pushed at the wall expecting some Indianna Jones type secret passage way to be there, but nothing

"Uhhhhh... What do I do?" He asks

Before Butthead could suggest anything, a vibrating noise was heard coming from behind the X, thats when Beavis realised he should probably break the wall open.

He tried to punch it open but of course he was not strong enough

"What should I do Butthead?!" He asks in a panicked state, Butthead replies

"Uhhhhh... I dunno,"

Beavis then grabs his saw and uses the handle part to break the wall open, eventually it smashes and reveals a box, but it took a while because Beavis was too much of an idiot to find something stronger to break it.

Beavis reaches inside and grabs the box before opening it, inside was a phone which explained the vibration noise, a piece of paper and a cigarette. Beavis notices words written on the paper and tries to read it.

"T-h-e... Kigarete? Aree, hayrmlees, i, promysee... Nope I cant read this," he attempts and tries his best but he does not understand such complex spelling and vocabulary.

Butthead then suggests "Why don't you throw it to me? I think I can read it,"

"Yeah good idea, hehehe," Beavis replies

Beavis tries to throw Butthead the paper but it lands too far away from both of them so neither of them can reach it now

"Oh well, it probably wasn't that important anyways," Butthead states carelessly.

"I'll answer the phone," Beavis says before flipping the phone open and answering the person calling it

"4 hours, Beavis," the person on the other line said before they began to play one of Butthead's "special tapes" on the TV, Beavis felt like crying.

"No... Her sweet voice, how dare you! Where is our baby?!" He yells "Where did you take our TV?!"

But the person on the other line did not answer, instead they just hung up. Beavis was now trembling in both anger and grief, the TV... The hot chicks... MTV music videos... If they did not find a way out of this they'd lose all of it.

"Beavis, we need to get out of here fast!" Butthead exclaims, but seemingly not as panicked as Beavis.

Beavis trembled and mumbled for a few moments before finally saying something "Hey Butthead... I think I know who might be behind this..."

Butthead turns towards Beavis and replies "Really? Who?"

Beavis remembered to one night almost 6 months ago, him and Butthead were doing what they did every night, watching TV on the couch while eating nachos, Butthead had fallen asleep and since Beavis didn't want his butt to be kicked he did not wake him up.

A News report had came on talking about this "Jigsaw killer" who would kidnap people and put them into weird traps, for example one girl named Amanda Young had been put in a "reverse beartrap" type contraption that would tear her face open if she didn't get the key in time, Jigsaw put her in that trap just because she did drugs, she survived her test somehow.

And another example was a guy named Paul Leahy who was put into a maze full of razor wires because he tried to kill himself, unlike Amanda he failed and bled to death, at the time Beavis thought this was really cool, but now that his TV and special movies were at stake, he didn't like this Jigsaw guy anymore.

Beavis explained all of this to Butthead

"I see..." Butthead expressed "And this guy still hasn't been caught?"

"Nope," Beavis answers

Beavis looks at the phone and says "Maybe we should call someone, who though?"

Butthead suggests "Maybe Todd, he's cool and strong enough to get us out of here and kick that Jigsaw's ass,"

"Good idea, hehehe,"

Beavis tried to call Todd's number (which he didn't even know but tried anyways) but for some reason the phone wouldn't let him call anyone.

"Its not letting me!" Beavis exclaims angrily, before recieving a call again from the same person as before, Beavis answers.

"3 hours and 30 minutes until your TV is destroyed, Beavis, not only that but we have implanted a nuclear bomb in your school which will be set off at the same time your TV will be destroyed, meaning all of your classmates and teachers will be blown to bits! Also, I've kidnapped your friend Stuart and his parents, if you don't escape by 6, not only will your TV and school be destroyed, but Stuart and his parents will be shot and killed,"

"Woah... Huhuh, cool!" Butthead says happily "Its a shame all of the hot chicks at school will die though, but its honestly worth it,"

The person on the other end hangs up

"No... Our TV... But at the same time, Stuart and everyone at school will die, which is amazing! I'm starting to consider just staying here, we can always buy a new TV, right? But all stupid school, all of our annoying teachers, our classmates, plus Stuart will be gone forever! Imagine not having to deal with those fartfaces anymore?!"

"Yeah, I'm sure we can save up money to get a new TV and-" before Butthead could finish his sentence, Beavis collapsed to the floor screaming and shaking in pain as if he were being electrocuted, soon enough Butthead would also be shocked just like this.

The both of them eventually passed out, in their unconscious state their life flashed before their eyes... Their TV... Most of their time together was spent in front of the TV... Beavis and Butthead's first memories as toddlers was watching TV together, even during Christmas and each others birthdays they both watched TV, their favourite movies and music videos, all of the hot actresses, the epic fire and explosions...

Thats when they both realised... This wasn't just any old TV, it was *their* TV, a TV that carried so many fond memories, a TV that was the only thing that had stuck with them throughout the years apart from each other, a TV that always played their special VHS tapes they had obtained from a peculiar man in an alleyway.

It was *their* TV.

No amount of annoying people dying and school being destroyed forever would make up for the loss of such an amazing, loyal, spectacular TV.

Soon Beavis woke up to the buzzing of the phone, he looked around to see Butthead still unconscious. Beavis felt quite tired but he picked up the phone anyways, his voice all groggy.

"Hello?"

"30 minutes until your TV is destroyed and everything you love will explode, Beavis, clock is ticking,"

"What? No no no! There's no way...."

Beavis realised him and Butthead had been unconscious for 3 whole hours "Butthead wake up!" He yells in extreme anxiety and horror. Butthead wakes up "Whats going on Beavis...? Just give me a minute..."

"No no no! You don't understand you idiot!" Beavis shouts "We slept for 3 whole hours! Our TV.... Our TV! All of those hot chicks! The fire! The memories!" Beavis cries.

Butthead then realises what his happening and panics too "Oh no... We need to get out of here now!!"

The phone is still on the line and the person calling them suddenly seems in distress, there is a lot of yelling going on in the background and things being thrown.

Eventually a few gunshots are heard and Beavis's heart stops.

"No... Whats going on out there?! What have you done to the TV?!" he screams, now in actual tears, but no reply, whoever wad behind the phone had just hung up with no answer to wether the TV was okay or not.

"Damnit... I'm not gonna let that stupid Jigsaw get away with this!! I'm not gonna die here!!" Beavis yells before he grabs the hacksaw.

"Hey Beavis... What are you doing?" Butthead asks with surprisingly not much emotion in his voice, he then grows a bit more concerned when Beavis holds the hacksaw to his leg "Woah Beavis, you're gonna cut your foot off?"

"I'm doing whatever it takes to save our baby!!!" He cries out before beginning to roll his pants leg up.

"Don't cut your leg off, Beavis, you'll die... Or something," Butthead says, only to be ignored.

Beavis cries out as he proceeded to saw his foot

"Oh god!" He yells "Damnit I need to get our TV!"

Butthead can only watch in horror as his best friend slowly and painfully saws off his foot while screaming, but in actuality, deep down he can only think "Wow... Huhuhu, cool,"

Eventually the foot comes off and blood spills all over, Beavis screaming due to the amount of shock seeing his own severed foot put him in.

Beavis eventually calms himself and wriggles himself over towards the dead guy in the middle of the room, whimpering in pain. He then takes the gun from the dead guys hand and points it at Butthead.

"Wait Beavis... What are you doing?" Butthead asks

Beavis answers "Only one of us can leave this room alive, Butthead, and since I'm the one who cares about the TV the most, thats gonna be me,"

Butthead suddenly looks quite pissed "You buttmunch, you can't shoot me, you're nothing without me, you suck without me,"

Beavis continues to hold his best friend at gunpoint, which increasingly made Butthead mad. Until, suddenly Beavis pointed the gun away from Butthead.

Butthead looks to wear Beavis is pointing it, and sees a man standing there who also holds a gun, but before the man can say anything Beavis shoots him multiple times, this man was Jigsaw.

The 2 were in silence for a few seconds after Jigsaw fell to the floor, before Beavis crawls over towards Butthead.

"I... Have... To go now..." Trembled Beavis as be grabs Butthead's shirt, Butthead then realised that his friend would be leaving him and replied with a stern

"No you aren't,"

Beavis continues to tremble as he says "You're going... To be alright... Butthead..."

"Of course I am dumbass," Butthead replies "But you cant just leave me!"

"I'm.... Going to go... And get help..."

"No,"

"If I don't get help..." Beavis rubs his hand against Butthead's face "I'll... Bleed to death... And we need... To save our TV..."

"Don't leave me! No! you buttwagon! No!"

Butthead continues to yell no as Beavis begins to crawl away out the door the man they just shot came through. Before he leaves though he turns around and says.

"Don't worry... I'll bring somebody back... I promise..."

He then continues to crawl away, much to Butthead's negative feelings.

"Beavis! Beavis you dumbass get back here right now!"

Beavis continues to crawl but as soon as he got to the front of the door he turns around to look at Butthead one last time.

"Are we like, gonna be okay?" Butthead asks, with Beavis replying "I... I wouldn't lie to you..."

Beavis soon crawls away, leaving Butthead all alone. Butthead then begins to search the body of the now dead Jigsaw Killer to see if he had a key to his shackles in his pocket, he pulls out his wallet and ID only to find nothing.

"Well at least if the police get here, they can discover the identity of the jigsaw killer using this," Butthead thinks to himself.

Butthead continues searching "Come on, where the hell did you put my key? Idiot,"

Butthead then pulled out a tape recorder from Jigsaw's pocket, looking at it in confusion. Dumbfounded, Butthead began to play the tape.

"Hello, Mr. Hindle. Or as they called you around the hospital, Zep. I want you to make a choice. There's a slow acting poison coursing through your system, which only I have the antidote for. Will you destroy a TV and murder a whole school and an innocent family to save yourself? Listen carefully, if you will, there are rules... ”

Butthead then says "Uhhh... My names Butthead, not Zep you idiot, this doesn't make any sense. Ugh I hope Beavis will be back soon,"

Butthead then notices a strange motion in the corner of his eye, he slowly turns towards it only to see that the man who had been dead on the floor for the whole game, the man who had been shot, had stood up like nothing had just happened.

"Uhh... Are you like, a zombie?" Butthead asks.

The man ignored him and began to rip off the blood and gunshots from his face as if they were just special effects, because they were.

"Dude, you were pretending to be dead this whole time? Why didn't you say anything we would've like, helped you escape and stuff," Butthead said.

The man slowly turned towards Butthead and pointed at the bathtub where Beavis was

"The key to your chain is in the bathtub,"

Butthead turned towards the bathtub and saw all of the water inside had been drained, and nothing inside of it

"Beavis you idiot! Because of you my ticket out of here is in some rusty pipe, I swear when I get out of here I'm gonna beat your ass, and I don't care that you're technically disabled now,"

Butthead was now just really angry at everything, so to take out his anger he decides to grab the gun and try and shoot the man, knowing he probably has something to do with all this, but before he can pull the trigger he is faced with an electric shock again.

The man had a remote that would shock them both the entire time which explained what happened before. Butthead ended up dropping the gun as he is electrocuted again, the gun flying too far for him to reach again as the man walks towards the door.

"Hey, get back here, fartknocker, I'm gonna kick your ass for this," Butthead says, but the man of course continues walking away.

The man then turns the light off in the bathroom and walks outside the door turning around and looking at Butthead for a few seconds. He then grabs the edge of the door and before slamming it shut yells:

"Game over!"

The door is finally closed and Butthead is left in complete darkness.

"Hey dude, I'm sorry about trying to shoot you... Uhh... Can you at least bring my TV here? Dude? Damnit I think he can't hear me now,"

I hope you enjoyed it, and yes I will be doing the other movies 👍🏻

[randomfoxehs-belly]

So yeah thinking of like, riding away from home town heading to the castle capital to rap with the king. Riding by a little hamlet where a couple are arguing, husband trying to be like I gotta go deal with this and the wife being like no if you go then I'll be all alone. Riding up and they break the argument up and offer the traveler a place to sleep for the night because he won't make it to the castle before sunset when they'll close the gates so might as well stop for the night.

Inquiring about their argument and they shamefully explain that their son has been stolen away by some local monsters in a cave nearby. The husband was wanting to go get him back because it's been two days but he'd definitely just get kidnapped by the monsters too.

So hero is like I'll go deal with that for you =3 just stable hopper here while I'm moseying. And they're like uhh no you probably shouldn't, it's about to get dark and that's when the monsters come out, but he's already strolling off.

Going to the cave and there's thirsty femboy slimes being all slutty and teasy and rowdy, creeping on him. And he just baps em down with his sword and shield and they're all like " Dx " until he gives em a final wack to leave em all 😵‍💫

Heading into the cave there's about five of the slimes and a leader, who points him towards a corner of the cave they turned into a makeshift jail cell. When he goes in he finds the captured son getting the succ from a slime and when he goes in to deal with it they're like "wait no it's not what it looks like! Okay it is but still wait" and the slime has the "I'm not a bad slime" moment.

Turns out the son would wander out and get some succ from the local cave slimes and decided to accept an invite to stay over the night for some balls to the wall slam assing.

But when he said it was time to go they wouldn't let him leave, and he refused to give 'em that D so they tossed him in the locker. And when the nice Slime said hey guys maybe this has gone too far we should just let him go, he got tossed in too.

So after getting the lowdown it's time to head home but the boy is like I'm a bit woozy cuz we haven't really had anything to do for the last day but get sucked dry so might need a bit to remember how to walk haha. So hero is just like, hey I recently learned that I have a built in solution to this =9 and eats the boy up. And the slime is like " =oooo .... Me too?" And so he slurps him down as well. Rubs his belly and belches as he heads back to the homestead.

The slime and boy fucking all the way back home

Once he gets back the parents are like hey glad you came to your senses dinner is ready but uhhhh looks like you already ate? Then he just opens wide and lets the son poke his face out, and pulls him out to settle back on his feet and reunite the happy family. The slime pokes his face out too but is like mind if I stay the night? Your belly is much cozier than that cave. So he just gulps him down and heads inside for dinner.

The father gets a little serious and talks about how they get travelers and traders stopping by all the time since they're on the main road to the capital. So he's heard stories about predators. How they'll lie and manipulate people to break apart communities, all for the sake of picking off people's loved ones to swallow them away never to see the light of day ever again >=|

But obviously those must have just been scary stories to frighten children into behaving, because clearly you're a pred and you just brought our family back together ^^

Then settling in for bed the son asks if he can spend the night in his belly, and he's just like ;3 'wanna slime fuck all night~?'

Digesting them as they screw through the night, waking up with boy and slime all neatly tucked away into pudge.

In the morning the cave slimes are tossing rocks and hassling the homestead being like >=o like sore losers.

So the hero goes out and baps them all into submission. And then thinks hmm >.> If I leave they're just gonna keep causing problems....

So he starts slurping all the slimes down to fill up his belly for breakfast =3 Letting them get churned into pudge on the road

Letting out the son and wishing the family thanks for the hearth and home and sets back off~

[underworld-park-offical]

BEBE: ♪ And I'm bad like the barbie ♪

RED: ♪ Barbie ♪

BEBE: ♪ I'm a doll but I still wanna party ♪

RED: ♪ Party ♪

BEBE: ♪ Pink Vette but I'm ready to bend ♪

RED: ♪ Bend ♪

WENDY: Bitch

BEBE: ♪ I'm a ten so I'm pullin a Ken ♪

RED: ♪ Like Jazzie, Stacie, Nicki ♪

RED: ♪ Grrrah ♪

BEBE: ♪ All of the Barbies is pretty ♪

RED: ♪ Damn  ♪

WENDY: Bitch

RED: ♪ It girls ♪

BEBE: ♪ It girls ♪

RED: ♪ And we ain't playin tag ♪

BEBE: ♪ Grrah ♪

WENDY: WILL YOU 711, SLUSHIE SLURPING, ALWAYS BURPING, SELFIE STICK, HUGE PRICK, STUPID WHORES, SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND??!?!?!

RED: Booooo

BEBE: Party Pooper!

BEBE: Let us sing our BARBIE WORLD in PEACE

RED: Yeah, for real!

RED: Boooooooo!

RED: Not the straight A student talking 💀

WENDY: SHUT. UP.

WENDY: You can at LEAST turn it down enough to where I won't go DEAF

WENDY: Red. What. the fuck.

RED: Take a before death selfie with me

WENDY: Wh

WENDY: WHY

RED: Idk ur the closest lmao ♪

WENDY: Ughhh

WENDY: Why did I ever join your hype house?

RED: Lmaooo

RED: Big L

RED: L

RED: Big L

RED: Raito L Loser lmao

WENDY: I hope you get flung out of the wind shield and die

RED: 💀💀💀

WENDY: STOP SAYING SKULL EMOJI OH MY GOD, YOU'RE JUST LIKE CRAIG

RED: Sorry it's in our genes 😝😝😝

WENDY: NO IT FUCKING ISN'T 

WENDY: CRINGE ISN'T FUCKING GENETIC

BEBE: Can you hoes SHUT UP

BEBE: I'm LITERALLY trying to listen to Barbie World but I can’t because y'all are SCREAMING

BEBE: Literally boutta hop over my seat and FIGHT Y'ALL

RED: Is the song on loop

BEBE: Yeah should be

RED: Just like

RED: Reset it or something 💀

BEBE: UGHHHHH

WENDY: I'M GOING TO SLAP YOU, BEBE

BEBE: DO IT

NICHOLE: Guys can we go ONE second without fighting each other??

NICHOLE: This is serious!

BEBE: Not as serious as this ASS WHOOPING Wendy's about to get

WENDY: OH NO YOU DINT-IT!

WENDY: Red, Hold my earrings

RED: OOOOH SHIT!! WORLDSTAR!!!

RED: Hey guys, it's Red, and welcome back to my channel~ NICHOLE: GUYS NO-

BEBE: COME HERE YOU BITCH

WENDY: FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW

NICHOLE: WATCH THE ROAD!!!

NICHOLE: RANDOM PEDESTRIAN!!!

RED: Extra points if they’re innocent! 😲

RED: Don't watch the road. this is really good content

NICHOLE: RED!!!

RED: WHAT?????

WENDY: Hold on

WENDY: What

WENDY: Is that

WENDY: Is that a twink in the road?

BEBE: What??

BEBE: Holy shit

RED: Ewww, wild queer

RED: Smh my head

NICHOLE: Guys, it's just Gary

NICHOLE: We should give him a ride

BEBE: Girl are you crazy?

BEBE: I don’t want the scent of computer  in my car!

BEBE: That is SO not SLAY

NICHOLE: It's so cold out here! His hard drive’s gonna freeze!

BEBE: Good! Maybe he can finally stop going “I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix, Please Deliver” over and over!

BEBE: LITERALLY why do you think we kicked him out of the Hype House?

NICHOLE: Just pull over…

BEBE: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BEBE: FIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEE

BEBE: WHATEVERRRRRRR

 WENDY: Heyyyyy

WENDY: Uhhhh

WENDY: Garyyyyy…

GARY: Wе mаy nоt bе аblе tо lоwеr thе cost of gas, but wе саn do something аbоut hоw mаnу miles yоu will drive per gallon! Stop by your lосаl O'Reilly Auto Parts store tоdаy and let us help уоu inсrеаsе thе pеrfоrmаnсе оf yоur car or truck. Simplе things likе rеplасing yоur аir filtеr, chаnging wоrn оut spаrk plugs, and using fuеl injесtоr сlеаnеr саn аdd up tо bеttеr fuеl есоnоmy аnd Big Sаvings!

     There's an O'Reilly Auto Parts stоrе сlоsе tо yоu thаt hаs thе nаmе brands, low prices and pеоplе whо саn hеlp. Rеstоrе lоst fuеl есоnоmy AND eliminate rough idle with Luсаs fuеl injесtоr сlеаnеr. Right nоw аt O'Rеilly Autо Pаrts, Buy TWO аnd GET ONE FREE!

GARY: I'm Gary! The Mormon who advertises! 

RED: Ew, he’s advertising

RED: Let's bail

BEBE: Yeah, I agree

NICHOLE: No, we’re not leaving him

GARY: Writing Isn't easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader. Much better. Are you ready to give it a try? Installation is simple and free. Visit Grammarly.com today!

GARY: I’m Gary, The Mormon who advertises!

RED: Shit, I think he’s broken

WENDY: Gary

WENDY: Why don’t you

WENDY: Get out of the cold…

WENDY: And into the trunk of Bebe's car?

GARY: Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video, you’ll receive 30 minutes of free music.

GARY: I’m Gary the Mormon who Advertises!

BEBE: Biiiitch I think he's like, malfunctioning…

RED: Frfr

RED: It's creeping me out, tbh

NICHOLE: Why would you suggest he go in the trunk?

WENDY: So he doesn’t bother us with his weird ad shit!

GARY: In the U.S. RMHC Chapters, support millions of children and their families each year, with the help of caring customers like you. McDonald's Helps RMHC provide families more comfort, care, and kindness by donating one penny every time a happy meal is sold.

GARY: I’m Gary, The Mormon who advertises!

WENDY: We just…

WENDY: Put him in the trunk

WENDY: Tape his mouth shut

WENDY: And Boom, problem solved!

RED: I mean…

RED: I’m not against that

BEBE: Yeah

BEBE: Do any of you have, like, duct tape?

GARY: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair!  Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! 

    Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. 

    To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completely dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!

GARY: I'm Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

BEBE: Shut the fuck up, this is why we kicked you out of the Hype House!

RED: I think I have some tape here…

NICHOLE: Guys, no…

NICHOLE: We aren't putting him in the trunk, and we definitely aren't taping his mouth shut!

RED: This bitch crazy, frfr

BEBE: Yeah Nichole, do you want  to hear him the whole car ride?

BEBE: The only thing worse than this is that there's no wifi

GARY: Bring your phone & number and get $600 off our new Biz Unlimited 5G Smartphone Plans. Nationwide 5G. Types: 5G Devices, Smartphones, Mobile Hotspots, Tablets, Basic Phones. Available with Biz Unlimited Plus 5G or Unlimited Pro 5G. Terms apply; Limited time offer!

GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

RED: Yeah dead ass, I can't play any roblox out here 💀

GARY: Do you not have any robux? Don't worry! With roblox money tree you can get infinity robux!! All you need to do is type in your roblox username and password and play games! Then you'll get infinite robux! So don't wait! Get roblox money tree now and win infinite robux!

GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

NICHOLE: Just…

NICHOLE: Just get in the car

GARY: F**k you, Baltimore! If you're dumb enough to buy a new car this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Big Bill Hell's cars! Bad deals! Cars that break down! Thieves! If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Big Bill, you can kiss my ***! It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherf**ker, you'll fall for this bullsh*t! Guaranteed! If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ***! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ***! Bring your trade, bring your title, bring your wife! We'll f**k her! 

That's right, we'll f**k your wife! Because at Big Bill Hell's, you're f**k*d six ways from Sunday! Take a hike to Big Bill Hell's, home of challenge p***ng! That's right, challenge p***ng! How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment! Don't wait, don't delay, don't f**k with us, or we'll rip your nuts off! Only at Big Bill Hell's, the only dealer that tells you to f**k off! Hurry up, ***hole! This event ends the minute after you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherf**ker! Go to hell! Big Bill Hell's Cars: Baltimore's filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in the state of Maryland! Guaranteed!

GARY: I'm Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

NICHOLE: Uhm…

NICHOLE: You’re…

NICHOLE: You’re welcome???

GARY: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage, Jones BBQ and Foot Massage. You better come on down here and get some of this shit. You like to eat, America likes to eat! So why not open up somewhere America can sit down, enjoy a meal, and get their feet rubbed. We'll fry anything you want for $5.99 as long as it's friable and edible, we'll make it delicable. We will fry parts of the chicken you didn't even know were friable. The beak, the feathers, we'll fry candy bars!                                                                                                                                                                            ll      >>>>All that European stuff that you don't really normally eat, we'll bring it down and we'll fry it for you. Ask McDonald's to fry something other than what they normally fry. Guess what you're gonna get? Nothing! If it fit through the door, I'll put it in the fryer. Hell, this is a dinosaur! All our meats are gently tenderized to their optimum deliciousness. We got fine dinosaur meat. Took my money, made me pay child support! Come on down here and get you a slice! Once they get your social security number, it's over! Motivated, Motivated, Motivated, Motivated! So friends, let's just decide you don't want no barbecue, well that's fine too.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       >>>Why not let one of my foot specialists or myself perform my magic? Look at that, don't that look wonderful? If you really pay me enough, we'll massage your feet in any of these sauces also. Success is the rule down here at Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage. So go ahead and give me a call or find us online, on the world wide internets at the new website. That's, J O N E S BIG ASS truck rental and storage,  dot com, backslash, Jones GOOD ASS bbq and foot massage, dot, html. Excuse me, did you call number 52? Did you hear me call number 52?!

GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

BEBE: O…. kayyyyyy

BEBE: Slay I guess?

RED: Nahhh, not the FNAF character talking 💀

WENDY: Just…

WENDY: Nobody….

WENDY: SAY

WENDY: Anything…

WENDY: ...

NICHOLE: ...

EVERYONE IN THE CAR: ….

BEBE: Nichole, this is all your fault

NICHOLE: WH???

(Edits and GIF done by @cattpup5 (mod Jello) )

[pevensiechase]

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Incorrect Quotes As Said By My Friends (Part 5)

Jesse: Hey, Fives, what number in the alphabet is letter "Peth"? Fives, counting on his fingers: Aurek, besh, cresh, dorn, esk, forn, grek, herf, isk. . .wait. I forgot how the alphabeth goes. Give me a minute. ------ Qui-Gon: I'm a failure, but it's beautiful. ------ Echo: My watch is telling me to breathe. Rex: Your watch is telling you to breathe? Fives, playing a video game: Aww, man, you found a banana? ------ Anakin: Master, are you making a voodoo doll? Ahsoka: *chuckles* What? Let me see! Anakin: Well, I saw him stabbing something. Obi-Wan, sarcastically: Yes, Anakin. I'm making your voodoo doll, so if you feel anything weird, it's not me. ------ Thire, conducting an experiment: Hey Rhys, can you swallow pills? Jek: *laughs* Can you swallow pills? Rhys: Uhhhh, yes? Thire: Okay, cool Ugh, this is awkward. Thorn, can you swallow pills? Jek, not wanting to waste time: HEY EVERYBODY! THIRE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU CAN SWALLOW PILLS! ------ [playing a wheel game] Echo: Fives, it's your story. You get to decide. Except for what the wheel said. You can't decide any of that. ------ Fives: What if I just. . .dump this salt on you? Jesse: Why? I'm not a snail. ------ Fives: Are you guys eating Froot Loops? Kix and Jesse: *doing paperwork* Kix: No. Jesse: Does it look like we're eating Froot Loops? ------ Hardcase: Yeah, bro. I gotchu. I should just buy and try out all the new foods for you. I need test bunny cash! Kix: You mean guinea pig? Hardcase: Yeah! Test bunny, guinea pig. Same thing. Jesse: *snorts* Test bunny. ------ Fives: Just move the horse piece. Echo: Horse? It's a knight. Fives: I don't play chess, so I call it a horse. Echo: Knights ride horses, Fives. ------ Thorn: I listen to that song astronomically a lot. Astronomically a lot. Wow, great grammar. Great Basic* *Basic is Star Wars for English

Edit: Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[cyberbeast99]

Wolf in the City Part 2

I make it halfway across the street before I get hit by an eighteen-wheeler.

Pain shoots through my body as I’m knocked back onto the sidewalk. I lay there, completely dazed as the car slows to a stop

“Hey kid, what the hell do you think you’re do-“ begins the driver. Then his eyes widen as he realized what he just hit. He speeds away, leaving me lying there.

Am I hurt? Am I dying? It’s hard to tell. I feel no pain. You’d think being hit by a truck would at least sting a bit, but I don’t feel anything.

Unless….

I sit up, expecting a flash of pain. Nothing. I stand up. I brush the gravel out of my fur and examine myself for injuries. My clothes are in tatters from both the transformation and the crash, but I can’t find any bruises or blood.

Holy crow, I’m invincible!

Okay… now I just need to get home. 

Oh shit….

I had originally planned to call an Uber, but that was when I was in human form. That’s off the table. But I still need a ride home. I text my friends in the hope that someone’s in the city and can give me a ride.

CyberBeast: Guys, is anyone in Hyper City RN? I shifted at the grocery store and had a panic attack. Long story short, I’m stranded.

CandyRocks: Sorry man, out of town

HyacinthDoll: Same here :(

CyberBeast: Oh jeez… what should I do then?

CandyRocks: If I were you I’d call Erian. He should be able to explain why you’re randomly shifting all the sudden

CyberBeast: No way I’m trusting that fraud again. Remember what he did to Tanja?

CandyRocks: Touché

HyacinthDoll: If I may, why not ask your girlfriend for help? Isn’t she in the city?

My pulse quickens. Ask Roxanne? She doesn’t even know I’m a werewolf. I’ve been avoiding my girlfriend recently specifically because of that. She’s asked me to move in with her and I keep trying to skirt around the question. I know I have to tell her eventually but I’m just not ready.

CyberBeast: Uhhhh

CandyRocks: Yeah, what about Roxanne?

CyberBeast: Guys-

HyacinthDoll: Wait… does your girlfriend know about the treatment?

CyberBeast: About that…

CandyRocks: 🤦‍♀️

HyacinthDoll: Oh man…

CandyRocks: Just gimme a sec. I’ll call her. Stay right where you are.

CyberBeast: Candy, please don’t

CandyRocks: Stay where you are

I try to type up something quick but Candy logs off. Dammit. I can feel my heart racing, my breathing speeding up. The urge to start running again resurfaces. Just as I feel like I can’t take it anymore, I hear a female voice with a British accent.

“Babe?”

It’s my girlfriend. 

Roxanne works as a mechanic and it’s pretty obvious that she just came from work. Her dark hair is slick with sweat and the stench of oil and grease is almost unbearable to my canine senses. She’s wearing a navy blue uniform emblazoned with the words WHITEPAW AUTOMOTIVE and the logo: a smiling cartoon border collie with a wrench in its mouth. 

“Rox, I can explain-“ I begin but that’s when she runs up to me and wraps her arms around my furry neck.

Huh?

“Oh my gosh you’re so cute!” she gushes. “So furry!” She boops me on my snout.

“Y-you don’t care that I’m a werewolf?” I ask.

“Babe, I’m just glad that you’re finally comfortable in your skin.” she says. Then she punches me in the arm. “But you should have told me, you wanker.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry… I just didn’t want to scare you”

“It’s okay, Eric. I’m not mad. Is that why you’ve been writing me off though?” she asks?

“Yeah. Again I’m really sor-“

“Stop apologizing babe. It’s okay. I understand why you did it.” She smiles. “Just please don’t do it again, okay?”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Okay,” she says. “I got the rest of the day off: Mae’s covering my shift. Now Candy said something about groceries?” 

“Yeah, I kinda left them in the store when I… umm… shifted.”

“That’s okay! We’ll go pick them up together!” says Roxanne. The two of us head towards the grocery store. A tomboy mechanic and a wolf creature. Both of us have wide smiles on our faces.

[technicianuprisingau]

Drawing the Rest of the Copy Ability Stars, Round 1!

I wasted a lot on this... so let's get this show on the road!

Yes, there are oh-so-many abilities that are canon in Technician Uprising, but HAL doesn't bother making ability stars for them. And so, as an AU owner... I have a full reign to design all of them! I am going to comment on each of them as well! Click down below to learn more about the process of making each star and what I think about the ability overall.

From top left to bottom right:

Balloon - The first one I draw overall (and the first ability fully illustrated, though I wanted to design Light fully first). This ability really just appeared in Canvas Curse, which is canon to TU, and due to a totally not secret plan of mines, I had to turn this into a full-fledged ability. Honestly. It just existed for Canvas Curse, so I hope the revamp moveset will give it a bit more versatility outside just "haha easier to control ball go brr".

Light - The MOST underused and underrated ability, FIGHT ME. God I love the concept of Light being used as a power but MAN. BIGGEST OOF FOR THIS ABILITY. Literally exists as early as in Adventure and was left for the slumps, never to be adapted. Watch as I make this a permanent use ability. I had to check the illustration of this ability in Adventure to get the icon.

Metal - Once again taken here due to a due to a totally not secret plan of mines. Honestly this is just Stone but Stone Change is always on. But I'll figure out what to do with it. And no, we're not using the scroll's additional ability, that's just Ball (which is also here in this round). I really just ctrl+c ctrl+p the icon from Squeak Squad directly.

Missile - Oh I would make this a Technician Mode... IF JET DOESN'T HAVE F^CKING MISSILE SALVO, making this ability UTTERLY OBSOLETE. Thanks HAL, but okay. Honestly it's pretty... eh. Maybe I haven't seen it too much in action. Also redrawing the Missile was. Hm. Okay I guess. I struggled setting up stroke thickness and setting since I'm limited to two colors and I don't want it to look weird, but the flame exhaust effect on the back is nice.

Bubble - I would make this a Technician Mode but at the same time I'm not so sure, it's already perfect enough to, you know, not change much... while the point of the modes is to EXACTLY twist the abilities' skills in a sense (at least for Technician. Idk. Most of Robobot Armor's ones are just normal attacks with bigger damage™ and that's it). Thank you Squeak Squad icons for saving me once again. Btw, Animal aside, this is my favorite ability in Squeak Squad. Though I'd change it to just trapping opponents in bubbles in my AU perhaps. Idk, turning them immediately to ability stars sounded... OP?

Ghost - Hahahaha spooky. I would also make this a Technician Mode... except I have an OC with Technician + Ghost with a rather complicated backstory, so, uh, no. I tried drawing a ghost, ends up just being frustrated because the proportions aren't right, but hey I did it!

Freeze - I cheated from Air Ride. Anyways, I guess I remember a Kirby gijinka artist (KirbyTardos, if I recall that username) who noted this might be more focused on defense, which I'll happily steal. Sir if you see this, I hope you're doing well, I should really check your comic series. Anyways... this one was supposedly fused with Ice nowadays, but whatever, it can co-exist I suppose. Trying to make it fancy but ends up giving up and settled for this.

Paint - Uhhhh... Isn't this just Artist? Nope! Decided that Artist and Paint are for two different specialties just like Ice and Freeze, in this case Artist is for precision while Paint is for R A N G E. I think their style should be differentiate too, with Artist you have the user having much cleaner, detailed art that needs thinking into it, while Paint is just. Graffiti. Go crazy. Go insane. Spread 387493743 splashes of paint to the wall of your neighbours!! I tried to recreate the icon in Super Star Ultra, but then I realized it looked wrong every single time and after more tweaking I just leave it like this. Could've done it better. Maybe I will revisit it someday.

Animal - Another one I could've done better I guess. Stealing again from Squeak Squad's icons! Tried adding a claw mark. Didn't work. F^ck. But oh well! ANYWAYS I LOVE THIS ABILITY HOW DID HAL DIDN'T ADD THIS TO FORGOTTEN LAND??? NOOOOO!!

Magic - Insert that one song from Milgram here. I love Deco*27. Anyways. Went simple with this one. Three cards and a magic hat that I stole from Squeak Squad. I also stole the colors of the illustration as we already have abilities with black and white ability stars and I doubt I can change em much to make it distinct. Yeah, yet once again taken here due to a due to a totally not secret plan of mines.

Ball - Ballin huh? You guessed it, it is, yet again, once again taken here due to a due to a totally not secret plan of mines. I don't think this one has to change a lot, it's just so goofy. I like its vibes, but I bet it will be a pain in the ass to use properly in-game somehow. Shoutout for Nightmare in Dreamland's little ability illustration for this. Also it's hard to design the ball icon itself so I went with a beach ball.

Laser - I kinda want this to be a Technician Mode, so we'll see this one with great interest! I wanted other colors but the illustration artworks only gave me colors that already exist or too close to other ability star's colors... then I realize that not all copy abilities have to share their outfit colors with the ability star, because Wing existed - it doesn't have blue but the star's blue-ish anyways! So I decided to go for pink, the color of the laser beam that was shot in the illustration!

Iron - Yes this is canon. Yes I will have to revamp this to avoid this being just Stone 2.0 but with deflect system, and in fact, I have made a full moveset from this long time ago! It's now a construct creating ability, creating simple things such as pillars and stuff. Still retains the "deflection with staff" technique and the one that reminds you of Stone Change... but I made the latter time-restricted rather than "as long as you hold it you're invisible" spiel. Anyways. The ability hat, as well as some iron blocks to hammer it to the point that HEY THIS ABILITY'S ENTIRE THING IS IRONS and not just "snek????"

Top - Went with green because that color is rare for copy ability stars, THANK GOD. It's also one that I purposely made canon because it's funny! Also young me already made a full-fledged moveset for this, thank f^ck. Tried to make it look like the top is tipping and gliding. And still spinning. Kinda looks smooth me thinks.

Baton - Oh god the ability's design itself is kinda mid imo but I'LL REDESIGN THAT JUST YOU SEE. Anyways. This is another one in the "so underused it hurts" category. For some reason the ability is one-use in the anime!!! Wow!! F^ck it!! Young me made a full-fledged moveset so WE'LL GO BY THAT THANKS. I went with pink... again... Or red... uh... I guess it's just pale dark pink, I used color picker on the staff don't ask. Tried to bring more of a Suplex vibe with a puffball holding the staff as if spinning it. S p e e n. I like the concept of the ability though, Motion Manipulation baby!

We might have more abilities on the go, but we'll see. I might move on to redrawing all Technician Modes after this. I'll also update the spreadsheet eventually with all these damn stars WAHOO.

Please enjoy ^^

P.S. if anyone wants to use these for their TU OCs, hmu and I'll give you separate version of the ability star you want!!

[r-edacted]

skateboarding isn't that hard guys I promise (ZeexEmma)

a/n: this is literally the first time I've EVER written a fanfic so I apologize if this is crummy. There were no cooks in the kitchen so I had to make my own food. I don't have an ao3 account so imma have to slap it here until I can get one! enjoy! Emma has never touched a skateboard in her life despite her athleticism. She always gravitated more toward things like tennis or volleyball. But finding out that one of her good friends did skateboard she decided she wanted to try. So they agreed to meet at the skatepark after school. It can't be as hard as riding a bike right?

Oh how wrong she was. 

"Hey ems you don't have to get on the board if you're not ready," Zee assures, noticing Emma's nervous expression. She's seen people skateboarding on TV before. Chase even used them in his stupid pranks but has never actually tried to ride one before. She was now remembering all those epic skateboarding fail compilations she's seen go viral online. But she was ready! Emma made sure to get the proper protective gear before asking Zee to teach her. 

"Don't worry Zee I'm ready! Besides, I always get a bit nervous before doing stuff like this." Emma replied. She didn't want Zee to think she feared a board with wheels.

"Alright, well first you get on the board. Remember balance is important and so is staying chill." Zee demonstrates by standing on his board with the greatest of ease. They take a swig of their soda while balancing on the board. "Easy as one, two…uhhhh.." zee trails off. "Three?" Emma finished. "Yea! Three! There are so many numbers to keep track of, it's crazy!" Zee laughed and Emma giggled. Zee got off their board and gestured to Emma to give it a go. "Your turn ems!" Emma took a deep breath and slowly placed her right foot on the board feeling it shift slightly. Then her left foot, keeping her feet on the two couples of screws that are screwed into the board. "That's it ems!" Zee cheered. "Bend your knees a bit to give yourself more balance." Zee bent their knees as an example. Emma mimicked Zee and felt the board roll a bit to the right causing her to yelp in surprise. She instinctively started holding her arms up to keep her balance, making her wobble a bit. "Woah! Easy skateboard!." She nervously shouted. Zee rushed behind Emma just in case she fell. "Don't worry ems if you happen to slip I got you. You won't fall." Zee assures. "Thanks, Zee." Emma calmed down and was back to being balanced on the board. “Do you want me to push you a bit so you can get used to the board moving?” zee asked. “ Totally! If I can't skateboard I at least wanna feel like I can” Zee smiled. “Cool! Alright here we go, keep your arms out ems." Zee gingerly held Emma's waist and began to push Emma across the skate park. Starting slow but gradually gaining speed until Zee was lightly jogging across the pavement. “WOHOOO! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN ZEE!” Emma laughed. Zee grinned looking at Emma's excited face. However, Zee probably should've focused on the ground because they tripped on a rock causing Zee to let go of Emma. Emma shrieked waving her arms in the air as her skateboard speeds to a chain link fence. “Emma look out!” Zee bolted off the ground and sprinted to the board and pulled Emma off, but being a string bean meant that he wasn't able to hold her. Zee folded like a lawn chair but was able to shield Emma from the impact of falling on the pavement and landed on Zee’s lap. “OMG zee are you ok?” Emma looked down at Zee. “Yup..im ok!” Zee gives a weak thumbs up as they open their eyes to see Emma above them. Emma’s face softened when seeing her friend had no series injuries. “I'm just glad you didn't get hurt bro” They smile at each other before Emma realized how close their faces were. Emma's face gains a light pink hue and bolts up. “Haha yea, that was so much fun! We should totally do this again sometime or not I don't know whatever you like haha!” Zee gets up and walks to the fence to grab their board. “Yea, I think we should pause the skateboarding lessons until tomorrow. Wanna go get some ice cream?” Emma's face brightened with excitement while putting her skateboarding gear in her backpack. “Heck yea! You buying?” “Who said I was?” “Says me Hezekias” Emma taunts. “Well considering I did save your life today id say you owe me one” Zee gives a triumphant look at Emma and she caves. “Alright alright fine.” She grins and gives Zee a soft punch on the arm while the two walk to the ice cream parlor nearby.

[mk-smokescreen]

MK LEGENDS: BLOOD BOUND

CHAPTER 13: First date

Waking up, the caped crusader would start off his morning regularly, but the second he eats breakfast, he heads off straight to the gym to proceed to beat the punching bag to a pulp, not knowing what else to do to relieve some weird feeling he has in his soul. He would leave, and his face was as red as the sun. He goes to the interrogation cells, and grabs a crayon and paper, walks outside and climbs up to sit on the top of the gate and draw. He makes a really shitty doodle of himself in his Red and white outfit throwing his knives at Shao Kahn’s tremendous head. Above Shao’s head is a text bubble that reads “bruh, im dead.”. Suddenly, Johnny Cage would walk out and notice this scene.

JOHNNY: What’re you doing up there, pal?

ROBIN: Oh, hey, mr. Cage. Nothing, just drawing a little bit, considering I can’t do anything else at the moment.

JOHNNY: You know, you can go out whenever you want.

ROBIN: Is this legit?

JOHNNY: Yeah. Don’t worry about Sonya, I’ll cover for you.

ROBIN: Huh. This changes everything. Thank you so much, JC. I’ll be back by 10.

JOHNNY: Sure. take later if you want.

Hearing this, Nico threw away the doodle and crayon, jumped down and rushed to his room, grabbing his jacket and phone. Quickly texting Melisa to meet him at the cafe close to the park they first met. He took a dirt bike and rode off to the city. After a few hours of riding, he finally met her at the place, where she was waving at him. He parked his bike on the sidewalk and walked over to her table, sitting on the opposite end of the table. As the waiter walks over, they make their orders, and chat as they wait.

MELISA: So, how’ve you been doin’?

ROBIN: Oh, you know… I’ve been… I think I said enough, I’ve just been.

She chuckled, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

MELISA: Well, I could say the same. It's not horrible, but not great either. But it’s mostly fine. I actually managed to sell some designs.

ROBIN: Wow, that sounds great.

MELISA: It is. And… you seem to be sweating pretty badly.

Until pointed out, Nico didn’t even notice the bullets of sweat going down his face.

ROBIN: Oh, uh, thanks, let me just…

He says as he takes off his jacket and hangs it on his chair, wiping the sweat off his face.

ROBIN: Anyways uhhhh… I noticed your jacket. Very edgy, I love it-

Realizing what he just said, the crusader’s face went fully red, and in his mind he could only think of one word… 

“  S  H  I  T  !  “

She didn’t seem to mind the comment, in fact, she smiled at it, as if he told a joke in class. 

MELISA: Well, aren’t you a comedian? Actually, it is a little sunny today, huh?

As she said that, she took off her beanie, showing off her cobalt blue hair. Robin, seeing it, tries to avert eye contact, to make the moment less awkward.

MELISA: Ooh, here’s the lesbian panic. I see it already.

Robin looks behind himself, addressing the readers.

ROBIN: Someone, somewhere, is very happy right now… Happy pride, you lovely idiots.

He then turned back to the designer. As she looks at him with a hint of disappointment.

ROBIN: Sorry. Still getting used to not being a douche.

The waiter would then return with their coffee, and wait for the pay. Nico would then rummage through his pockets, but seeing that he forgot the money. He then looked at Melisa.

ROBIN: You don’t happen to have any money, do you, Lyss?

She sighed, and took the exact cost for the coffee. The two would drink up, hop on the bike and head west. He parked somewhere near a graphic design school, and after that, they walked.

MELISA: Well, I’ll give you this. Not a horrible first date, but do remember, a gentleman pays the bill for his ladies meal.

Robin would shrug, looking down at the ground, but then taking a deep breath, looking up and breathing out.

ROBIN: I’ll keep that in mind. Next time, I'll bring the money, and pay for a new leather jacket.

She’d chuckle, lightly punching his arm.

MELISA: Save that for a professional date. Now, it’s kinda getting late.

ROBIN: Yeah, I should really get going, too.

He said as he jumped back on the bike. 

MELISA: Oh, Nico, before you go…

Nico would turn to her, as she walks up to him and gives him a hug. He, much like Liu Kang in 11 when he gets hugged by Kitana, doesn’t know how to respond, so he just sits there, blushing.

MELISA: Thanks for taking me home.

She says before letting go. Nico’s a bit confused, but then understands when he sees her tap on the door that has a velcro label with her name on it.

ROBIN: Oh! I, uh, no problem. See ya, I-I guess.

He says as he drifts off east, as he’s in a rush to get back home. Melisa sees him driving off into the sunset, and smiles, while thinking to herself.

MELISA: He’s not even hiding the fact that he’s crushing on me.

She then enters the building, and entering her apartment, she sits on her window and plays some music to relax.

[stickynotestoletters]

ugggh so I am a dirty little slut for sal fisher and I had a thought about it sooooo,,,,

Sal Fisher x GN (masc body) headcanons of what he's like with you

this is gonna be very heavily influenced by the fact I am sleepy and really wanna write this rn!

Warnings: Non-canon-compliant (Sal lives, Larry lives, Todd doesn't go crazy, no murder), some NSFW stuff, switch-bottom leaning Sal, Service Top Sal

Highschool

When he first meets you he's, hands down, the most flustered he's ever been before

Like, he's really into you

He just sees you in the hall and immediately blushes

he goes around his days as usual and stuff still but now he's eyeing you whenever you come into view

it's cute, he looks like a little kitten peering at you from around the corner because he’s too shy to say something

Larry makes little jokes about it and always tells him to talk to you

"wow, what a stalker" is his usual line when he finds Sal looking at you from somewhere

he musters up the courage to talk to you in his junior year when you wear a Sanity's Fall's shirt to class one day

from then on you two talk together whenever you have class and stuff

your parents move into the apartments in your senior year because of a demotion and you and Sal start hanging out outside of school

He finally asks you out on the last day of senior year

You and the gang go out to the football field the night after graduation

after they clean up all of the equipment for the stage

You guys end up smoking a blunt because Larry brought some of his stash and, hey, what's the harm?

You and Sal end up laying in the middle of the field while Larry chases Ash and Todd around on the bleachers

They're laughing and howling at the moon so you two just listen

Sal takes his mask off cause he feels more comfortable laying with it off

He takes out his pigtails and you comb through his hair for a bit

You look him in the eyes and just stop brushing your fingers through his hair long enough for him to look up at you

your eyes both meet and you two just stare

You see the stars in his eyes

Sal just thinks "You're the prettiest person I've ever seen"

"what?" "uhhhh....nothing"

"It's okay Sal!" You giggle at him and he giggles too

you both start giggling at each other and you two hug each other

still, just facing each other, heads tucked into shoulders, chests pressed so tightly together, legs intertwined

It's calm

He feels safe

So safe and warm

It's wonderful

So he sighs and says" I think I'm in love with you"

And it's an accident

He doesn't regret it, not processing it until you say "I'm in love with you too silly"

And you stay like that

no panic or guilt

just tucked away into each other

The gang goes to 7/11 that night-morning really it is 3 am-and get slushies

all of them are teasing you guys as you hold hands on the way there

it's cute

He's cute

You're cute

You both feel warm in the jackets you switch from each other

it's cute

"God the stalker finally got the victim in their clasps, another tragically happy ending" "Shut it Larry Face"

College

You both end up staying in different places after high school

You take a year off college and stay with your parents at Addison Apartments and Sal moves into the gang's house

It's nice, you see each other regularly for dates and ghost hunts

it's blissful

Then Sal starts having his nightmares again and you come over regularly for sleepovers

it's months into this routine of going home, getting new clothes from the apartments, go out with Sal, come and sleep at his place to help with nightmares, repeat that Larry has the most brilliant idea

"Why don't you just move in with Sal? You practically live with him anyway."

This is in front of you two, you're both at the gang's house and drinking some morning coffee

Sal not really jokes and agrees

And then you genuinely agree

It's a big moment for you two

Sal wanted you to move in right away but was scared his nightmares would affect you or you two wouldn't end up working out

So you two complied and stayed where you were

But this is gonna be an actual conversation where he is up for it and knows you two are stable

So you talk about it

You two agree

And you end up moving in that day

it's not that hard since most of your clothes are over there already

It's basically just moving your bed, knick-knacks, and bookshelf in so that's just the big things since you have a queen

It's bliss from there

you both settle into a nice routine and after you start college Sal decides to focus on his music for rn and take a break

You get a job and the dynamic is just... so pure

you guys are finally, finally, okay and the best thing is that you're together

He's still adorable and you're still sweet

You guys end up getting your own apartment outside of Nockfell and Addison Apartments

The gang stays around

Larry ends up moving in with you two for a little bit until he can afford his own place

Sal gets a lot more gigs out there in the city than he would have gotten in Nockfell and you get a job at a little club

Sal ends up playing there often because of you

NSFW headcanons

Okay so Sal is a hopeless romantic

before he moved to Nockfell he never really had anybody else who was interested in him

so he was super hopeless in planning your first time together

once you had slept over with each other a couple of times he makes this grand layout and waits for you to walk in to see him spred on the bed, clad in some cute underwear and nothing else

turns out though you were sick and sent Larry to tell Sal you couldn’t come over cause your phone was dead and you didn’t wanna get him sick

So Larry ends up walking in on a naked Sal and scarying the everloving crap out of him

He makes fun of y'all after that about it

So your first time is honestly uneventful after that whole fiasco

Deciding to just causally hook up at his place instead

Sal is a switch but he leans for bottoming

he can top, he's really good at being a service top

He’s not insecure about himself, he’s pretty big for his height *cough* (9.7) *cough*

but he prefers being spoiled and called pretty

loves being called feminine nicknames like "pretty baby" even if he is topping

stuff that's gender-neutral but is more feminine in origin

He likes it when you do it doggy-style if you're topping just cause if you press him into the mattress he can feel you better inside of him

Whines so much when you go faster

really likes getting fucked stupid, he wants his throat to be sore and his ass to be bed-ridden

Loves topping you when you're in his lap straddling him

He really likes to make you do work for a while, guides you and everything until you're breaking

when you eventually end up asking for him to "just fuck me already Sal...please?" He wants tears down your face, crying and desperate for him or else it’s not gonna happen

He ends up fucking into you like a monster from there if you are

loves when you lay on your back and he's on his knees sitting and thrusting into you, pulling you onto his lap

very vocal either way but he laughs and giggles more with you, his moans are less fucked out and more "oh god, yes!" in nature

His sex drive is really high, he could go for hours

If you end up getting tired when he's bottoming he's gonna bounce on your pretty cock and ride you so pathetically

It's so pathetically adorable

but if he's topping and you get tired he usually asks you if he can fuck you to sleep

You end up agreeing only if he cleans you up after

He doesn't have any severe kinks or whatnot

He's really into being breed though

Tie him up too while you do it

he likes gags as well

when you breed him he'll end up feeling bad after you finish and he can't feel it anymore once it's out

So you end up giving him a buttplug after to compromise

Sometimes if he's being a brat you'll tie him up, gag him, and leave him with a vibrator over stimming him

You'll leave him in the room and come back to a crying Sal, salivating and so fucked out without having even cum once

If you're ever being the brat he does the exact opposite

He'll tie you up but make it so you can't close your mouth

You have to be quiet though, he doesn’t want to hear anything louder than breathing and your pathetic whimpers

you're over stimmed to hell and orgasm so much it's difficult to keep awake

but do not fall asleep cause if you don't get through it to the end it won't end (Consensually of course)

He and Larry definitely hooked up once or twice before meeting you so I think he'd ask you to let him in on it

It becomes a regular occurrence until Larry moves out

But when you do have a threesome and he is feeling dominant get ready to not move for the next three weeks

It's nice though and doesn't end up changing the relationship between you three

That's it, I gotta stop before I cream myself into dirtier shit cause I am his slut. I have Sal Fisher brain rot syndrome so I'll definitely make another one eventually. Request some stuff and I'll be happy to write!

Continuation for Threesome hcs here by request

-Laika

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

The One Where Jensen Ackles Confirmed Cockles in 2016(????) No. Seriously. For real.

this is a DOOZY. strap in folks.

DISCLAIMER: this is chock full of rps. if you are against cockles/jenmish in any way, this post is not for you. however, if you’re like me, ummmmm...

alright. so. we are REALLY in it now, cockles truthers. and make no mistake, i DO NOT want to undersell the significance of what we have found on this glorious day in 2021.

BUT HEY! DISCLAIMER FIRST, THOUGH IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING! do not EVER bring this to jensen and misha’s attention. do not comment disrespectful things on social media. when cons/panels start again, don’t ask them questions about it. ever!!! that’s super weird, for one thing, and for two, they won’t give you the answer you want anyway! so, yeah. just be decent, y’all. let’s continue. 

so my dear mutual @green-blue-heller made this post today and i promptly lost my mind. in it, they link this video:

as far as i can tell, it’s from VegasCon 2016 but was only unprivated on january 24, 2020(dean winchester’s birthday??? wow ok) for some reason, and we have overlooked it until now. to whoever it was that posted it, THANK you for my reason for being and this delayed gratification five years later. anyway, let’s get into it.

right off the bat, those expressions in the thumbnail kind of tell you all you need to know about what we’re venturing into. i have to thank BOTH jensen AND j*red for being ridiculously transparent. i mean...j*red purposefully avoiding eye contact with jensen and looking at the ceiling with his eyebrows raised sky high? jensen hiding his face in his hands, smiling and blushing like a fool, the misha face™ & grin???

so let’s break down what happens with timestamps and everything.

so! i looked up what the question was, i scoured through the entire Vegas Con video, and here it is:

‘My question is for Jensen and Jared. You guys are both happily married, and I noticed that many people had a hard time explaining how they know their significant other is the one. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with, the one that they want to be with, and so, I wanted to ask you guys, how did you know that your current- who you’re with now(audience laughter cuts the rest of the question off and it’s unintelligible)’ ….i’m solidly guessing that the end of that question boils down to ‘was the one’. (....i...uhhhh....have some thoughts on how this question affected jensen, and i will be going into them later.)

Jared: *laughs* Jared, Jensen. When did you first meet your future ex-wives?

*both of them laugh*

Jared: I’m just kidding-I get what you’re trying to say and thank you, um...I, uh, I guess my current wife, uh-

*both laugh again*

Jensen: (sarcastically) Let’s start with her.

Jared: (repeats) Let’s start with her. I, uh, I...you said something kinda, uh, amazing in your question, which is that a lot of people have a tough time or a difficult time explaining to their significant others or to themselves what it is. And I guess I feel that I have no way to possibly explain it to myself or to her... I remember that I had been in a relationship and that I was single and I was like ‘I am not interested in getting in a relationship’ and then she and I went on a date and I was like, ‘I can’t go anywhere else. I’m not interested.’ So, that was kinda what, um, what started it for me *clears throat loudly* Uh. Yeah, I just feel like (searching for words) she makes me a better person-there are a lot of people that make you a better person, and so that’s not enough, I don’t think-or maybe it is, who knows-um...I don’t know, I can’t really...if I could explain, I’d be a poet.

here’s where things start to get interesting. before jared says ‘If I could explain, I’d be a poet,’ Jensen’s face looks like this:

stoic, thoughtful, composed. and then AFTER jared says that his face makes THIS little journey:

go watch it for yourself. this man is ridiculous. in terms of body language? he gazes up and AWAY from jared. it is a private thought, he is not sharing in jared’s joke with him, if at all. it is his own personal musings that make his face LIGHT up like that. this fool looks lovestruck!!! this fool is lovestruck!!!

now, i think it goes without saying, but there is an obvious cockles reason that springs to mind for this reaction. (hint: misha is a poet. that’s it, that’s the reason.) i don’t think jared intentionally said this with misha in mind, but jensen’s thoughts IMMEDIATELY went there. whether or not this is because he was already planning on answering and hinting at his relationship with misha before jared says this, which i think he was-you can certainly see the wheels turning in jensen’s head before this moment-his brain involuntarily makes the connection and it shows in his glowing smile. after that remark...jensen’s gone. he’s whipped. and he HAS to say something about it. 

continuing from where we left off:

Jared: ...and I would love to be a poet. (thought it would be fun to mention that at this point Jensen catches what his face did and immediately looks over to Jared and WIPES the expression of his face...but it’s too late, because someone recorded it, i saw it, and now i’m writing about it five years later)

Jared: But uhh…

Jensen: (interrupting) Just tap me when you want me to take over. 

i think that jensen is simultaneously joking and is also more than ready to say what he’s been composing in his head diligently for the last thirty or so seconds. he has made up his mind, and is now ready to drop the bomb on us.

*audience laughs, Jared playfully swats at him*

Jared: Uh… *thinks in silence for a bit* It’s really difficult, it’s really difficult. She makes me feel safe, she makes me feel loved. Uh...when...I’m in a position where I don’t love myself, I know she loves me, you know, um...she’s just an awesome, awesome lady.

*audience claps*

alright! so in terms of my OWN analysis for what’s happened up until this point, the conclusion i have come to is that there was something in the question that was asked that sets jensen’s mind off about misha, and i think it was the ‘the one’ comment. if we’re putting our cockles goggles on, jensen doesn’t HAVE a ‘the one’. he resents thinking like that. i’m also very intuitive, and i get a sense that jensen is an honest person and can’t really tell a convincing lie. i mean...we all saw that horrible airbnb debacle, right? and his slip up when he accidentally confirms that misha woke up and said ‘i miss (maison)’[which how would you know that unless you were...nvm] and became a stammering mess and had to sit down and cover his face. and that misha is always the one to take the lead when it comes to denying clothes sharing, for instance. jensen has never ONCE attempted to explain that away, because i don’t think anyone would believe him, and i think he’s incapable of doing so because he’s not a dishonest person and can’t lie easily. i’m the same way, so to avoid telling a lie i always speak partial truths, and i’m 99% sure jensen is well versed in this talent as well. oh, also, just to really land my point....we all know how he feels about the finale because he can’t make himself speak well on it. he’ll gush about 15x18 and the PEOPLE BEHIND the finale, but he has not uttered one. positive. word. about the actual finale itself. i mean, we all know what he thinks about it. in his own way, he has made his rage glaringly obvious. and i think he’s doing that exact thing here, where he resents the implication that daneel is the only ‘one’ for him, because that’s simply not true, and he can’t and won’t lie about something like that. 

i watched it back again and wrote notes on jensen’s body language as he’s processing the question. here they are:

from 0:13 to 1:21, jensen: 

looks down - tenses face - searching eyes, lost in thought - jared’s comment brings him out of it but it takes a second - fidgets, adjusts clothes, looks at jared - bites the inside of his cheeks and moves tongue around his mouth(pacifying gesture) - eyes start wandering away from jared, looks down and tenses face, looks back at jared - then looks away, eyes and mind far from the panel and pondering the question itself - somewhat wistful expression, gears clearly turning in his head, lips pursed, stops reacting to what jared is saying, fingers start fidgeting, eyes have moved downward as he is lost in thought - something shifts in his brain, he looks to the ceiling, fidgets and adjusts his clothing, squints and seems to resolve an inner thought - slightly comes back down to earth with newfound resolution - and then jared’s ‘i would be a poet’ comment happens while he’s coming down from that

i mean, this obviously doesn’t necessarily mean anything huge(yet), all it shows is that this question took a lot of thinking for him. when you compare it to how jared kind of just dove in? 

anyway; so then jared’s done, he slaps jensen’s thigh to indicate it’s his turn, jensen makes THAT face you see in the thumbnail, jared’s eyebrows raise, jensen looks down and scratches his forehead, and then makes the statement of a lifetime. 

here’s the link for this next part

Jensen: Ummm..I kind of feel like there’s two types of people ..uh..in regards to marriage and the, the one. Uh, it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you. And, I kind of find myself in between both of those(...types of people). And uh, and so, it can be a scary endeavour, and it can, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, um, but I think it’s a, uh, it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey that, uh, if you’re willing to stick it out with one another, can be an amazing, beautiful thing and I’m glad that I picked the partner and the teammate that I have, so.

i’ll give you like a second to recuperate before we dig in. 

let’s start with both jared and jensen’s body language first, because it wasn’t even the words that clued me in, it was whatever the hell was going on with jared’s face. 

i really wish i could gif, but i can only attempt to convey the SPEED and VIGOUR with which jared snaps his head toward jensen. 

these pictures are objectively hilarious because you can see the entire mental journey that jared goes on. he was aloof and kind of relaxed because he was done, it’s jensen’s turn now, he’s surely not gonna out himself with this question right? and then jensen goes ahead and says ‘there are two-’ and jared instantly zones right into jensen with a look of horror on his face, that he tries to contain, but does so unsuccessfully. that is the face of a man who is internally freaking out, thought to himself ‘did he seriously just say...’ and is kind of staring at the culprit in shock and awe.

i know that’s what’s happening, because this is not the first time we’ve seen him react like this to something jensen has said. the classic head whip. a few examples, just off the top of my head:

1. ‘he has, hasn’t he?’ 

2. ‘he sounds like that in the morning’ ‘how do you know’ 

3. when he whips his head around when he notices jensen’s face(and instantly understands when he realizes it’s misha)

so yeah, i’m sure you get it by now. jared can’t really keep it off of his face. there’s no real analyzing to be done here...it’s just an obvious tell on his part. there’s no real reason for him to have reacted this way if jensen was saying something inconspicuous, is there? he would have continued to just kind of space out if jensen hadn’t just said something jarringly questionable. 

as for jensen’s body language, i can’t really tell where he’s looking from either angle of both videos i’ve seen. sometimes it seems like he’s looking straight at jared, and maybe nods at him once, but he could also(and is most likely) looking at the fan who asked the question. i don’t think there’s anything particularly telling about his body language because i think he rehearsed his answer in his head and also, he’s not shying away because he’s not lying about anything. like...everything he’s saying is true, so he’s not going to have any tells. and it’s the fact that he is TELLING THE TRUTH that is freaking jared out.

now for what he actually says. because oh my god. 

right off the bat, he says “i kind of feel like there’s two types of people..” and first off, what? what does that even mean? if you think of it in terms of ‘this is about daneel and only daneel’....isn’t this a realllyyyyy strange thing to start out with? objectively? the question that was asked to him was ‘how did you know they were the one?’ and he goes ‘actually there’s TWO types of people’ ...like, jensen never answers the question at hand. 

and then he goes “in regards to marriage and the one”. i hope i’m not the only one who noticed he said the words ‘the one’ in a resentful and kind of degrading tone? seriously, listen to it again. he seems like he’s almost mocking that sentiment. i swear i’m not making it up, it really sounds like that to me. 

and then he says “-it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you.” *NON TINHAT VERSION OF EVENTS* what he could mean, i guess, is he was both scared to be with daneel but also knew she was the one for him. which....ok. alright. *TINHAT BACK ON* first off, there’s absolutely no risk with daneel. that’s not a judgement, because i love her; it’s just true. she’s a pretty, talented, amazing woman and they are very much in love. i’m not sure what risks he’s taking there. next up: pretty strange wording then, don’t you think? idk, if it were you, and you wanted to get that point across, wouldn’t you use words like ‘she both scared me and i knew i wanted to be with her at the same time’ and NOT this convoluted mess of ‘there’s two types of people and they are both drastically different but also one and the same’? 

SECOND OF ALL, as many people have pointed out.....he never uses pronouns. this is strange. jared does. jared says gen’s name, even. and uses ‘she’ and ‘her’. jensen never once does that, he practically refuses to do so. and yes, i fully believe it is entirely intentional.

because if you look at this phrase from a cockles lens it makes more sense then if you do not. 

the one that jensen knows, unequivocally, with the utmost certainty, is the one for him, no doubts, no risks; is daneel. the one that he doesn’t know about, is scared of being with, but is willing to take that leap of faith anyway; is misha. and all of a sudden the puzzle pieces fall into place.

because he goes on to say “I kind of find myself in between both of those.” 

he doesn’t say ‘i find myself in between both of those...with her.’ nope. he’s just...in between. caught in the middle. of those two types of people. translation: of those two people. mish. dee. 

“And it can be a scary endeavour, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, but I think it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey...” 

every single one of those words can be applied to more than one person. think about it. bond(between three people). connection(between three people). friendship(between three people!!!). there’s no ‘partnership’ in here, which does only apply to two people. 

lastly, “i’m glad i picked the partner and the teammate that i have.”

ok, look. you can easily say that it’s just one person he’s talking about here! of course you can. but this is jensen ackles we’re talking about. jensen ‘rock and pebble’ ackles. jensen ‘mish. dee.’ ackles. so yes. i definitely think that ‘the partner and the teammate’ fall into this category. and i think daneel is the partner and misha is the teammate. 

to put it matter-of-factly: you simply cannot prove that this isn’t about a poly relationship. there is absolutely nothing he says that makes it obvious he is talking about one person here. because he isn’t. 

i just feel like, in the simplest terms, if this were about only daneel, that he would not be using these weird phrases that are half-hidden truths. just to compare, i watched another panel where pretty much the exact same question was asked, minus the whole ‘the one’ debacle, and, just as i suspected, it was an entirely different answer. he talks about the moment where he knew he liked her. her, specifically. says the name daneel. gushes about her. there’s no tiptoeing and weird pronoun usage and vague terminology. 

tl; dr : i think he answered the question this way because there is no ‘the one’ in his life. and he is physically incapable of leaving misha out when talking about ‘the one’ because he has TWO ‘the ones’. and he wants to answer the question to the best of his best ability, but lying is unnatural to him. he will talk about daneel at length and misha at length, but i honestly to my core don’t think you could make him choose between the two. oh! and we literally had confirmation all the way back in fucking 2016, we just never paid attention until now. so......thanks, jensen?

sorry, this got super long, but i hope i warned you well enough.