#“he would not fucking say that but it is CLEARLY a joke and op i aware of it so maybe don't get so worked up take a deep breath and relax”

[lineffability]

my personal taxonomy of "he would not fucking say that" is

1 "he would not fucking say that normally but under these specific circumstances he might and isn't that interesting"

2 "he would not fucking say that but it's fun to imagine actually"

3 "he would not fucking say that and I do not understand where you even got the faintest notion from that he might, but I remain puzzledly neutral"

4 "he would not fucking say that and I am gritting my teeth and seething inwardly but I can ignore this without receiving too much psychic damage"

5 "he would not fucking say that and the only thing stopping me from inviting you to a duel in the town square tomorrow at noon is my working brain, which I have, opposed to you apparently, but I would still like to sacrifice you to the nearest volcano and delete my short term memory just so I don't have to be aware that I live in a world where people have so little grasp on a character and no apparent media literacy whatsoever, excuse me while I go count some flowers and scream from the nearest hilltop"

[cinturongazo]

just got the weirdest anon for saying i didnt like happy gilmore

2 notes

⛺golferswantbeer Follow

just say you hate to see a narrative of unconventionally attractive men becoming valuable in classic aesthetically cisheteronormative elite fields. and you claim to be a communist, fucking liberal

0 notes

🐣chucklarryshipper Follow

girls don't want minimum wage girls want fun jokes and a chill hang out with a beer and to control the universe with a click and to organize a fake wedding so we can be each other's trophy husbands with tax benefits

4018 notes

🐱‍🚀c0medyangster 👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒 Follow

i kinda wish adam sandler didn't do so many comedy movies, i want a comedy movie that's just vaguely humourous but has substance, i can't handle jokes constantly being thrown at me

🦂shinel1kead1am0nd Follow

op uncut gems???

🐱‍🚀c0medyangster 👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒 Follow

too boring 😕 i want something more positive

5848 notes

😈clicnc-dom Follow

what if i were to hypnotize you so you don't remember me and i made you mine more than 50 times

10 notes

Based on your likes!

🐸laughingboss 🟢🔵Follow

need a hot chick with some banging long skater shorts that can handle a good fart joke

832 notes

🐸laughingboss 🟢🔵Follow

why do all the female sandlerheads dress like adam and not the multiple hot, empowered women he dates? dont they want to be empowered too?

💝dykesandler Follow

keep posting like that you'll see how many sandlergirls will fuck you

1420 notes

💝dykesandler Follow

look at what my butch found in the thrift store. you're not gonna hear from us for like a week lmao 🥴

1369 notes

👻elevatedsandlerhead Follow

i'm not an actual elevated sandlerhead appreciator i just post smut

80 notes

Since you were looking for #hubiehalloween

👻elevatedsandlerhead Follow

His to Control - Hubie x f reader

minors dni 🔞 - Content warnings below:

Read more

593 notes

🐱‍👤c1nephil3 🟢🔵👒👒👒👒👒👒Follow

Grown Ups 2 is a cheap, empty, corporate attempt to resuscitate the glory of Growns Ups (2010). The use of CGI instead of the practical effects awaited dearly by the public are a sign that anyone who enjoyed this movie is clearly not a connoisseur of the essence of the sandlerverse. too many callbacks to the original and what made it great instead of focusing on a real movie, too many forced references to the sandlerverse. characters weren't simpathetic or deep, a cliche of what hollywood expects us to laugh at. comedies should be deep and have your laugh coming from the depths of the abdomen until you're struggling to breathe. instead i struggled to not YAWN. Pathetic sequel, marks the death of cinema.

letterboxd - imdb - rotten tomatoes

8 notes

🍼 softlittlenicky Follow

𝐻𝒾… 𝐼'𝓂 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 𝒩𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓎…. 𝐼 𝓁���𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝐿𝑒𝑜 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐵𝑒𝒹𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒮𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒���� 🍬 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓈. 𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝒾𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝓈? 🍭

👾fartylicious Follow

pixels, it's a nostalgia feast

🍼 softlittlenicky Follow

𝒾 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓍 𝒿𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈 🍭 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓈𝓈 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 🤢

🦚peeandcock Follow

how did you get through little nicky then

🍼 softlittlenicky Follow

𝒾 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓃𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓎, 𝒾 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝒾𝓂 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓅𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉. 𝒽𝑒'𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒, 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝑒 🥺

42 notes

👹butchverse Follow

now why is he butch here

🧡adamsapphler Follow

would watch jack and jill if this was jack and jill. who said that

3984 notes

Based on your likes!

[rigordoll]

Sweetheart.

contains: college!AU, RE2Leon x Fem!reader, friends to lovers, kissing, suggestive at the end. This will have eventual smut in a future pt2!

Pt2 here!

I'm not an expert writing, English isn't my first language but interactions, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! enjoy :3

When you started college you were scared as fuck to be honest. All your teacher's from high school and even your parents told you that college was hell and it was a completely different environment for you, that you must be very careful and not go trusting in every person in your way.

They weren't wrong about it but to be honest college wasn't so bad as they pictured it. Yeah, there was some weird people that you wouldn't approach to them even if you got payed to do it but they didn't mess with you or something.

You would say that college was almost like high school if you weren't failing almost every subject in your first semester, that was definitely the hell part. However, you managed to improve in the second semester and it went 'easier' for you, at least you weren't failing anymore.

Well, actually...

You were failing mathematics.

Imagine your face when you saw the test and realized you didn't know a shit about algebra, you were most definitely cooked.

It was hard as fuck and no matter what, you wouldn't understand it. Thank God you had Leon, he was the first person that approached to you in college and since then you sticked to his side.

He was such a sweetheart and helped you a lot, made the study sessions more bearable with his incredible bad jokes and actually explained to you what you didn't understand in the class.

Even right now when he was seeing your test and explaining you why your answer were wrong so it wouldn't happen again.

"Now, seriously, what the hell went through your mind to think that this was the correct answer?" Leon said without looking at you, he was focused reading your failed test and he genuinely looked offended at whatever you put on there.

"It's not that bad! give me that." you said with a huff, taking the piece of paper from his hands and put it into your bag without much care.

"Oh it is bad..." He said with amusement, if he dared to laugh at you, you would punch him in the middle of his perfect face. "But hey, seriously... you need to get a better grade in the next test." Leon said softly. "You can come over to my room and I'll explain you the basics." He offered.

Leon always offered to help you with your studies and he actually did explain well. It's just that you sometimes didn't pay attention to him.

I mean, you did payed attention to him, just not to what he was saying...

In your defense, being alone with Leon in his room was an appealing idea... Just not to study. You wouldn't lie, you may have a little crush for him since the beginning but you always pushed those feelings aside because he only saw you as a friend.

"You mean, later today...?" you asked, raising a brown with curiosity which caused him to roll his eyes. "no, later next year. Of course later today, silly." Leon said with amusement and you huffed at him. "But it's friday..." you already had plans, going to a party, drink, dancing and maybe hook up with a guy and pretend that it was Leon. Last part is clearly a joke, don't do that! but anyway, college life is good.

"I don't care, see you at 6pm." He said playfully before leaving.

Fuck him, but you did wish that it was in the literal sense.

You were standing in front of his door and it was actually 7pm, ops.

but in your defense, you were busy getting ready to the party since you were lazy as fuck to to go to Leon's room then go back to your room, change your clothes, doing your make up and then go to the party, it would take her ages.

Before you could even knock the door, Leon had already opened it and it took him a moment to scold you for your tardiness since his cold blue eyes were roaming your figure and taking in your clothes option, now that was short skirt but the top was pretty, it was his favorite on you even if he never told you.

Leon cleared his throat before looking at you with a serious expression playing on his face. "first of all, you're one hour late. Second of all, why are you dressed like that?" He asked with curiosity, stepping aside to let you in before closing the door behind you.

"There is a party tonight at 9pm..." you said softly with a shrug before sitting on the edge of his bed and looking at him.

"I see, I hope that you don't drunk call me at 3am." He said playfully while sitting on the desk chair that was beside the bed. Anyway, he knew that if you called him he would pick you up without thinking twice but that isn't the matter here..

"I don't promise you anything.." you said with a chuckle while looking at him, he was dressed in grey sweatpants and a blue random shirt but damn, his biceps were on display. Focus, hoe!

Leon smirked at your answer and shook his head with amusement before searching for his notes. "Let's just get started with this so you can go to your party." He said softly.

An hour passed by with him explaining you the basics and teaching you how to do some exercises.

Honestly, you were having a bit of trouble focusing when he looked so fine and smelled so fine, you always wondered was cologne he uses because it smells heavenly. You also noticed him stealing some glances at you, more than usual.

Maybe it was because he was staring at your thighs and at how soft your skin looked... or maybe he was staring and your chest everytime you leaned closer to him to see what he was writing. he was most definitely having the time of his life when he caught you staring at him with pretty eyes while biting your pen before snapping back to reality and noticing how dumb you probably looked. He wouldn't call it dumb tho, more like hot but hey, he never said this.

"I think I got it, look." You said softly, passing him your notebook where you have just finished a exercise. Leon took notebook from you, his fingers grazing yours but seemingly completely oblivious of it.

He took a moment to check if it was good and you waited there patiently, when you heard a soft hum from him, you leaned closer. your head next to his and you rested your chin on his shoulder. "is it good?" you asked quietly.

Leon turned his head to look at you and now his face was mere inches away from yours. His eyes went directly to your lips and it took all his willpower to not kiss you right there since you were looking absolutely gorgeous there staring at him with doe eyes and glossy lips slightly agape.

Leon licked his lips and quickly looked back to your notebook. "Yeah, it's good." He said softly before looking back at you, you were smiling and looking at your book in his hands.

Leon didn't know why but his heart was beating against his chest, his hands felt sweaty and suddenly the room felt a lot warmer now, is the AC working or what the hell?

The tension was in the air and you when you met his gaze, you noticed his rosy cheeks and dilated pupils while he stared at every detail of your face. Suddenly, you remembered why you liked him. It's those cold blue eyes that look into you with intensity and adoration without failing.

You both just stared quietly in each other's eyes, none of you said anything or did anything even if your bodies were betraying both of you and itching for being closer to each others warmth.

It was such a comfortable silence, a silence that spoke volumes.

So it didn't surprise you when you hear the words. "I really want to kiss you." coming from Leon's mouth in a quiet tone as it was secret that he was telling you.

You just took a heavy breath while looking at his pink lips before nodding at him. that was enough for him to understand, he always understood your silence even if that happened rarely.

To be honest, you felt so cozy and warm when his lips touched yours. you swear that you felt butterflies in your tummy when he started to kiss you slowly, taking his time with you and his hand going to cradle your face.

It felt so right, Leon wonders why he didn't do this before. Why didn't he kiss you in every chance given?

It didn't took long before you were beneath him on his bed, kissing each other and exploring each other's body through the layers of clothes.

It seems like you weren't going to that party anymore... Leon's much better that any guy that you could found there anyway.

HEYYYYYYYYYY, I'll leave this here.

I'll probably make pt2 later that will included an attempt of smut since I still figuring out all this write thing, but anyway, enjoy!

(I'm taking requests BTW)

[drippyoil]

your most recent fic has me rolling over this TFA concept where like. OP thinks of himself as very plain and unremarkable (even though we, the audience, have eyes and can clearly see he’s hotter than 90% of cybertron’s population) whereas Meg takes one look at him and is like “you look like a fucking blow-up doll. what the fuck. I’m almost offended the autobots would devise such a blatant attempt to seduce me”

AAA thank you so much for reading and enjoying Megatron's Espionage Kink!! I know it's a theory/hc that relies on either 1) oppy not knowing what a mirror is 2) autobots having diabolical standards of conventional attractiveness, but I love the idea of oppy just. not knowing he's a complete and total bombshell. he's basically identical to any other normal Autobot that rolled off the assembly line, sure even fellow autobots joke about his lips a lot, but they're just fucking around and teasing him surely!

But megatron has Optics and he uses them to fully drink in this visage of pure seduction that would only be written about in the most indulgent filthy smutpads, look at his WAIST?! THOSE LEGS?! HIS PLUSH LIPS MADE FOR ORAL?? and though megatron usually jeers at the bright and clashing colors of autobots, he's got to admit the red and blue and silver (and that sinful yellow on his pelvic plating/helm/etc). (I just looked at a pic of cybertronian oppy again and like HIS HIPS HAVE HANDLES??? I've seen amazing posts about TFA meg assuming he stumbled onto a bang bus when he crashed the autobot ship, cause of how sexy the autobots on board are, and this is exactly what makes it so believable)

But like I was saying I really do love meg assuming oppy Was Made To Distract/Placate Him because how else could a bot perfectly to his tastes be travelling around the galaxy? If he wasn't sent to seduce megatron, this walking talking (and fighting, those sleazy autobots really put effort into making this bot appeal) blowup doll would be in the most elite brothel on cybertron.

And I think "canon" tfa meg is too busy trying to retake cybertron and destroy the autobots to stop his evildoing to play with an Autobot, even if they are the hottest bot he's ever laid eyes upon, but I love to imagine that "what if?" what if meg Did pull out the stops to launch a counter-assault (seduce oppy and fuck him stupid).

(bonus semi-relevant shitpost copy pasted from my tf doc under the cut)

Megatron does NOT want to fuck Optimus Prime. It does not matter that this autobot was clearly designed upon Orion Pax, aka the civilian that Megatron has always found most aesthetically pleasing. However, even Orion was a rather conservatively designed bot. Optimus Prime has a large chest and tiny waist and strong arms and long legs and full kissable lips. All of these are further insults, so clearly designed for interface appeal that Megatron must turn his nose up for the sake of his pride. "Do they all think I have no self control? Is this Autobot some sort of peace offering or an attempt to distract me from retaking Cybertron?"

So yes. On some level, Megatron wants to frag that little autobot until he breaks. Fuck the bolts right off his hips. Turn him into a quivering fluid-drenched pile of loosely assembled truck parts. But he is wise and old enough to know that giving in would be a trap, an elaborate trap designed by Autobots who have finally realized that no tactic is too dirty, even if the prudes have to face the unspeakable horror of acknowledging Interfacing Exists.

Whether this is true or not doesn't matter. The f***toy look could simply be what's "in" for Autobots. Look at Bee and Bulkhead & Sentinel and Elita-1.

Optimus has no idea about Megatron's cute little theory and would strip him down for spare parts starting with his spike if he was ever to voice it to him. It would get Optimus charged up, Megatron admitting he considers Optimus so attractive that it must be an autobot plot, but he can and will ignore that too.

Because Optimus Prime does NOT want to fuck Megatron either. This is just Primus's way of punishing him for harmless private 'facing fantasies half a million years ago. It's a bit overboard as a punishment, however. Optimus wasn't even thinking about that stupid giant ancient evil leader of the Decepticons, just imagining a generic "kind of sweet and romantic in a brusque war frame way" faceless Decepticon soldier above him. Megatron? For all his great manipulation skills and that platinum glossa, the mech couldn't charm the panel off a desperate and overcharged speedster in heat.

There is No romance in the giant servos that almost choked Optimus offline and held him around the waist with ease and wrapped him up in his own grapplers. And those tastes of brutality and being overpowered do NOT excite Optimus even more.

[theothots]

faceless soulmates au but it’s also a faceless driver au. landoscar style

OP81 was a fucking mystery to lando. faceless drivers were more and more common, especially after max and lewis had had such impressive careers before their face reveals, so it wasn’t like he was thrown off by not knowing what his teammate looked like. it’s just. it had been a year since daniel left, the reassuring older brother bond frayed and tired as he departed, but still very much there, and the arrival of this faceless, monotone, machine of a rookie did fuck all to fill the void danny left. even a year on, despite the pr videos they had filmed together, lando just couldn’t get a read on OP.

he saw him sometimes chatting to logan and alex over at the williams garage, and OP was normal with them. he was normal with all the other drivers, in fact, laughing at their jokes, making quips when the moment needed them, giving a pat on the back after a hard race.

he wasn’t normal with lando.

sometimes lando would look across the garage and see OPs helmet staring right back at him, like his gaze had been fixed on him for hours, but then he would go over to chat and get the typical one word pr responses. lando was at the point where he thought it made the most sense that OP just didn’t fucking like him. which sucked, because having a teammate his own age should’ve been fun, even with the whole faceless thing, but lando could live with it.

it was just after the qatar sprint, everyone swearing buckets and thanking a higher power (their team principals) that media had been cut short due to the state of the drivers. lando had already been in his ice bath and was wandering back to his drivers room to go and pass out on the bed until someone started worrying about where he was and came and got him, passing by a cupboard when he heard a bump from inside and a crash.

intrigued and slightly concerned, he opened the door carefully to see a very wet OP with his helmet haphazardly on and his breathing halfway to hyperventilating.

what the fuck.

“oh fuck. oh fuck im so sorry you- shit sorry lando just pretend you didn’t see me- god this is fucking embarrassing-” OP rambled as he scrambled for the door handle, ignoring landos frozen body in the corridor.

his brain caught up to him and he clocked into the distressed tone of OPs voice. “wait, mate are you ok? stupid question, clearly not considering mr sprint winner is in a cleaning cupboard panicking. what the fuck happened?” he grabbed OPs arm from where it had been grabbing at the door handle and stopped it, making his way into the small cupboard at the same time.

OP stopped his rapid scrambling, seeming to accept landos presence in the cramped space, both boys sinking to the floor.

“i- have you not seen the photos? god they’re already all over the internet people probably know my fucking name- i just forgot there was reporters right next to the motorhome on the way back from the ice baths- i didn’t think they would see anything, i thought my face was covered-”

and oh. lando understood. OPs face had been leaked. oh fuck.

“oh fuck.”

smooth.

“yeah that’s-” a wet laugh escaped OP “that’s one way to put it. god this is so fucked.” his breathing was calming down, the situation no less terrible but the company in his moment of need bringing his heart rate down.

OP looked over at lando, who been subconsciously gently stroking his arm from his close spot next to him. he coughed lightly, trying to shake the broken tone from his throat, before speaking.

“have you seen what twitters saying? kim found me before i could look and grabbed my phone on his way to speak to zak and andrea. i was supposed to join them but i needed to just… take a minute.”

lando looked at him with sympathy, but got out his phone. considering the amount of bad press he’d gotten over the years, he knew checking social media right now probably wasn’t the best choice, but he also knew it was like an itch that needed to be scratched, and at least OP could look at it whilst he was with him for support.

he clicked on twitter, hesitating momentarily, but committing anyway, and went to the trending tab. OP81 was trending, along with a few other tags about the race and the name oscar. he clicked on the OP81 tag, and scrolled until he found a photo, the guilt of looking welling up in him but the curiosity winning out. but when he looked at the photo that had been posted he was confused.

“well mate it’s not that bad, it’s blurred anyway.”

OP81 looked at him, and lando imagined him slowly blinking underneath the helmet.

“what.”

“yeah look mate the photo that’s been posted has blocked out your face anyway. maybe that’s just edited.” lando focused back on the phone, eyebrows scrunching as he looked through the photos. “no look, they’re all like this see?”

OP81 did not see. OP81 was in fact having a crisis now for an entirely different reason.

what the fuck.

“lando… the photos aren’t blurred.”

lando looked at him like he was an idiot.

“yes mate they clearly are. look-” but before he could finish, OP lifted off his helmet. a completely blank canvas stared back at lando. it was as if someone had forgotten to tell landos brain what eyes and a mouth and a nose and a hairline looked like. it was all fuzzy, like he was looking at OP without glasses.

oh. oh.

“the photos aren’t blurred.”

OP81 sighs and tilts his head back against the wall, facing away from lando.

“i can’t see your face either. or. i guess now we know that, it’ll change.”

it took a few moments, the darkness of the cupboard now that the door had drifted shut again not helping, but when they looked back at each other, they could see. OPs swoop of brown hair, his moles, his brown eyes. holy shit. fuck being faceless, his teammate was pretty.

holy shit. his soulmate was pretty.

“wow. OP-”

“oscar. it’s- my names oscar piastri. i guess you should know now. that a good wow?” a hopeful gleam shone in OPs- in oscars eyes.

“god yeah it’s a good wow. you’re pretty.”

that got a laugh out of oscar, echoing around the cupboard and reminding the pair of the predicament they were in.

“we should probably-”

“yeah. zak and the team will be waiting.”

neither boy made to move.

“you know i didn’t- i’m really sorry if i was weird around you. before. i think i forgot i didn’t show my face? and so the soulmate rules of them having seen your face and clarity being restored to each of you wouldn’t apply. so when i kept not being able to see your face even after we’d been teammates for half a year, i just assumed what i had been landed with was a good old unrequited scenario. which sucked im gonna be honest cause you are you, and i obviously had a massive crush on you and-”

landos brain short circuited. “obviously? oscar i thought you were ignoring me because you didn’t like me. not because you thought that we weren’t soulmates. god i wish this happened earlier. well obviously i wish you hadn’t had your face leaked but-”

“oh shut up,” oscar said, and pulled lando in to kiss him. lando melted into him and he felt oscar relax as well. a moment went by and then lando pulled back, mourning the closeness but remembering why they were here in the first place.

“ok. as much as im loving the new teammate dynamic we have developed in the space of ten minutes, a panic attack, and a face reveal, we do need to go and talk to zak about that last one.”

they sighed and begrudgingly stood up, stretching slightly and nudging the door open. together they wandered back down to the main room in the mclaren motorhome, meeting the team and looking slightly sheepish.

they sat down as some of the social media team ran through their plan of action, condemning the posting of oscars face and name to the public, but encouraging oscar to embrace it. he nodded along, a distracted look in his eyes as he flicked over the faces of all the mclaren workers looking his way with curiosity. feeling a bit like a bug under a microscope, he grabbed landos hand for support, a look of understanding coming from the elder driver.

“um, one more thing,” lando said, speaking up for the first time in this meeting. all eyes fell on him and he looked at oscar guiltily. “me and osc are soulmates.”

“WHAT?”

[fairykazu]

AITA FOR BEING COLD TO A STRANGER FOR BEING WEIRD BUT THEY ENDED UP BEING MY CRUSH I LIKED FROM MY CHILDHOOD ??? FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cw: informal writing, ooc, modern au, plotless ?, crackpost, use of kys/kms jokes, ip address leak (NOT REAL!!! i dont condone this in real life.), brief stan war, etc note: i think scaramouche using reddit for advice is funny. i might use this for a diff character. im reposting this from my other account @kaedehararchives masterlist

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/amitheasshole ∙ a year ago thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but they KEEP thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with them. so i pulled some strings and they aren't allowed to talk to me.... well in a class we share.

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses. he wiped right, unlocking his phone, to see the notifications.

replies:

lesbianpirate69 you sound like an asshole

eyepatchwearernumber1 lwk loser behavior lmao thehatguy [OP] who even wears eyepatches? get off my post detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

thank god someone agrees with me. he thought. well that was until he kept scrolling. a bunch of people calling him an asshole. typical. but the username "hydronarwhal" caught his eye. stupid reddit user. who even uses this stupid app?

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

well, two more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not? bobaya wait no, op is valid. t-mobile is ass

robinoaknumberonefan this sounds parasocial thehatguy [OP] you cannot be talking? barbaraisbetterthanrobin ROBIN CANT BEAT BARBARA'S PERFECTION robinoaknumberonefan uhh okay, albert. (albert's info) (albert's info) open full thread?

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is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i? adornthenight read this then www.reddit.com/r/aita/avidsnoopyfan

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u/avidsnoopyfan my side of aita for treating someone for being weird? hello! im the person in the thehatguy's post. i want to clear things up. he said that i was clingy to him and that i was someone who wanted to use him for money. i reassure you guys that isn't the case. he just looked familiar. someone i held dear to my heart. i know that's bad to project on someone you met. technically you can argue that i couldve seen him from social media but i don't really use any other than pinterest.

no comments yet

[mrspark7777777]

The translation though

https://x.com/cFCKBtshEFcVgx0/status/1821583637718192150

does it make sense? I can’t grasp it, because it almost feels backwards. But really the gist is they weren’t free to meet up at the same time, a bit like what you said before about distractions. I almost felt that last year there was some self imposed ban on seeking each other, especially going to he others promotions, which is why when JK is free he didn’t go to music bank to see JM like Yoongi or on a show with him, or like Hobi to see the mv filmed, like they did it on purpose? I’m probably not making sense, but as in to lay low as best they could with impending enlistment, not that they weren’t seeing each other but not overtly or maybe not enough quality time?

Thanks for the ask my lovely. I've addressed some of this here but sure, let's talk about this too. Just like OP said;

Its been established JK had a hard time during FACE era. His boyfriend was MIA, he didn't see him much, it took a toll. A toll Jimin was very aware of. My friends and I were just talking about this and we agreed AYS could be a result of Jimin's guilt. Him wanting to make it up to JK. I also believe what happened with JK during that time was the reason why they applied to enlist together.

Jimin loves to joke and make fun and he loves to make us happy but he loves to make JK happy even more. Say what you will about him but he priorities JK's needs and always has. This travel show, we will enjoy the hell out of it and have a great time, but Jikook needed this. They needed this escape and if they could only get away but portraying it as work, then thats exactly what they were going to do.

So yes anon, you're correct. The operative word here is enough. They talked of course, but not enough. They spend time together of course, just not enough. They were busy, they needed to behave while waiting to see if they would be approved for the buddy system, and so they didn't get to enjoy eo as much as they would have loved to.

It's as simple as that

During 3D era JK said Jimin kept coming up to him and singing "pweuriri" clearly that means they were spending time together. In a live he talked about Jimin rearranging his lights at his home. Then just recently Jimin told RM him and JK drink alot and talk about music. I mean, these are just 3 examples and they sure as hell didn't happen via osmosis.

They saw eo, they talked, of course they fucking did. Think hickeygate. When it doubt, think hickeygate. They couldn't outright tell us what happened and therefore manipulated the truth or rather didn't give us the whole story. That has and will always be an ongoing theme with Jikook: a gay couple in the closet. Go back to that scene and watch JK during this conversation. At some point he does this thing where he's like scratching his neck but you can tell there is no itch. That to me was a sign that there was more to the story.

So just think hickeygate and go from there. There is more to Jikook than meets the eye...

[eisforeidolon]

Hellers still going on about “Watching Over Me” being about Cass. Claiming Jensen confirmed it in a meet and greet. It’s funny they never have video proof beyond, “Misha said it”.

That's kind of what they do.

One of them comes up with a totally bonkers interpretation of something, completely makes some shit up they claim totally happened (trust me bro!), or Misha queerbaits them to keep the minion attention/money flowing. The rest of them, like the gullible and obsessed desperate conspiracy theorists they are, repeat it among themselves over and over and over as "proof" their ship(s) are totes real until the heat death of the universe. The part where it's batshit insane, has zero evidentiary backing, or even has been clearly refuted? Completely irrelevant!

Here, one of them came up with a totally bonkers interpretation of the song while desperately searching Radio Company's catalogue for secret hidden clues that Jensen was pining away, miserable that the SPN finale didn't end with D/C. Misha heard about it, and because he's a spineless backstabbing weasel with all the integrity of a disintegrating toupee, quote unquote joked about it being true. I can't remember if someone made up the M&G story of him confirming it wholesale or if it was a creative reinterpretation of someone else's M&G report, insisting Jensen confirmed it when the fan actually reported him saying something to the effect of not intending/wanting to say songs had specific meanings. Regardless, believing it's actually legit requires ignoring:

The part where it's pretty absurd to think Steve and Jensen are sitting around writing songs from Dean's PoV, and batshit insane to think Steve and Jensen would be sitting around writing songs about a fictional non-canon ship Jensen has made it clear multiple times he is baffled by the popularity of and sees as no part of Dean's story. Especially when Jensen has said the majority of the writing is actually Steve's. The part where Misha couldn't even fucking name what song it supposedly was that was totes for real about Dean and Cass. The part where there are specific reports that STEVE talked about that song in a Patreon livestream to say it was about having an angel watching over you that you don't want watching over you, not some schmoopy romance. The part where, once again, Jensen supposedly validates D/C all the time ... just so long as no one is recording him.

None of that matters, and if one of them mustered up the idiocy to ask Jensen onstage at the next convention if it was a D/C song and he literally just stared at them in angry bafflement and said, "No." before immediately moving on? They'd make up a million reasons he was lying, didn't understand his own song, or how "No." was aCtUaLLy super secret code for "OMG YES."

It's the same story with their meta ~*interpreting*~ a love story out of bad stereotypes and random minutiae. It's the same story with their constant tales of Jensen telling a fan in detail how he totes lurves D/C now in ops/autos - often at the same cons where he shoots it down onstage. It's the same story with their absurd claims Misha was a third lead and saved the show. It's the same story with all their myriad conspiracies about the finale regarding the network/secret footage/secret scripts/Jared/NDAs/etc. It's the same story with their insistence Jensen hates the aired finale and barn scene because he didn't like the initial pitch. And on and on and on and on...

Being a heller means actively rejecting living in a rational, fact-based reality in favor of steeping yourself in The Undeniable Truth of Detestiel until your brain boils away to nothing.

[butwhatifidothis]

Talking from a fe3h discourse perspective I get hating Rhea, as a Rhea lover. To a lesser extent I GUESS I get Seteth. But Flayn??????? She's just vibing and eating fish??? She has NOTHING to do with Rhea's decisions? Like at that point you're (not you op, general you) just looking for issues. To be clear if you hate her because of her personality or whatever sure, to each their own. But hating her because "church bad" feels really stupid to me. That's like a rhea/church fan hating the black eagles on principal because they're part of edelgard's house or because they don't hate edelgard.

When you realize they ascribe to this kind of mentality

it starts to make a lot more sense. Yeah, if two members of a race being bad if enough for you to ascribe malice and evil to every single member of said race, it's pretty easy to also say that the very blood of that race is evil and having it course through your veins makes you evil.

Which they've been saying for a while now!

Yes, you are in fact seeing a ~year-and-a-half old screenshot of them saying the exact same racist garbage they're saying now.

Also, just. This fucker keeps repeating this stupid fucking point about Nemesis and frankly it pisses me off.

Two years. From as early as two days ago (as of July 11th 2024) to as far back as two fucking years, they've been repeating "Nemesis couldn't have been THAT BAD you guys, because the people he's been tyrannically ruling over for over a century and who didn't know the full extent of his actions which include the genocide he committed believed in the lie about him being a liberator! A supposed liberator of a group of people these oppressed ignorant civilians would have had literally no contact with whatsoever given Nemesis has been ruling for over a century! Meaning any human alive during the actual reign of the Nabateans would have been fucking dead by the time Nemesis was killed, meaning any alive during Nemesis' reign had no way of knowing how that rule actually was! This lie was so imprinted into the people's conscious that Rhea couldn't erase it, so it has to be true and not a lie anymore!"

Literally saying that Nemesis was right to do what he did because he said he was and the people who had no choice but to believe him believed he was. Like I said, they are so fucking desperate to defend this genocider and to degrade the Nabateans as an entire race to be biologically inclined towards evil, and have been desperate to do this for years.

Here are a couple more choice words Shandale has said!

"He didn't genocide them because he WANTED to, he did it because he HAD to! If he didn't, anyone he brought with him to genocide the Nabateans would have been killed!"

Oh, but silly me! What I am talking about?

It wasn't a genocide! It was getting rid of oppressor and conquerors! Those oppressors and conquerors, you know, just so happening to be the entirety of the Nabatean race.

Which, hm! Guess what nonnie!

Explicitly includes Flayn! Someone who literally never did anything to anyone! Oh, except be willing to kill followers... who are a direct threat to others and are desecrating her mother's grave. Oh, but who cares about silly little nitpicks like that, she's willing to kill her followers!! ...Oh wait, there's only reference to Cichol in that paralogue? Cethleann isn't even mentioned once anywhere in the paralogue? Like literally anywhere? Bah! Who cares! Flayn is evil, just like all the other Nabateans! Let's """"""""joke"""""""" about killing her over and over and over and over and over again!

Teehee isn't it so funny guys! They're killing Flayn, haha, soooo funny! Ignore how they think Flayn's race in its entirety needs to be killed and how they lie about what Flayn's done to paint her as evil, they're just jokingly killing Flayn and joking about how fun they find the idea of killing this member of a race they clearly hate over and over keekeekee!!! This race isn't real guys you're not allowed to find this disturbing plus they're just joking anyway hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

(there's actually more of these "jokes". Like way more of them. Just, lettin' everybody know)

And, oh, wow!

This includes Indech and Macuil! Nabateans who cut off all contact with humanity after they had helped kill the genocider of their race. Macuil isn't even in Fodlan anymore, he's in the middle of a Sreng desert, but, nope! They helped kill Nemesis, meaning they are also completely evil :)

Funny how every single Nabatean who stood up against the human who killed them all is deemed irrevocably evil no matter what, but the human Agarthans are just poor little victims who deserved more nuance and sympathy even after they literally murder children. But we're the mean ones for pointing all of this out as bad tho

[halovianarchives]

AITA FOR BEING COLD TO A STRANGER FOR BEING WEIRD BUT THEY ENDED UP BEING THE GIRL I LIKED FROM MY CHILDHOOD ??? FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cw: informal writing, ooc, modern au, plotless ?, crackpost, use of kys/kms jokes, ip address leak (NOT REAL!!! i dont condone this in real life. i think it's kind of in character for scaramouche) note: i think scaramouche using reddit for advice is funny. i might use this for a diff character. i didn't really have a plan for this one

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but she KEEPS thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with her and

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses.

replies: detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

thank god someone agrees with me. until he kept scrolling.

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

one more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not?

---

is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i?

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird (two updates)

[nekohime19]

AITA for refusing to forgive my cheating girlfriend when I kinda cheated myself?

(last pat tof this crazy adventure! Here we go guys!)

Again, thank you for all the insight, the situation is kinda messed up but you guys helped me take a step back.

Okay so I have one last update to this crazy love life of mine, but before that here are my answers to your comments :

TheWayoftheEnigmatic :

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wukong is NTA

But man that whole situation is cursed! 😵

Still funny though.

OP response :

👀👀 Wukong??? Noo, that's TOTALLY not me. I'm, huh, another immortal monkey.

Followingthewater :

tie her up ig and let six out, she might attack you when she wakes so better to be prepared ig. If you can, try to calm the situation down as much as possible and try to communicate to her to avoid a fight. It's not fair she was clearly cheating on you and gets mad that you slept with her side piece, sounds hypocritical of her.

Besides that, if you're interest in six maybe later try to set up a time to talk again, try to find out what type of person he is before you start trying to date, y'know, to not date another 'bad guy'. Would suck if he was into any problems.

OP response :

Tying her up seem to be the best option yeah. Idk if I'll be able to calm her down but I'll try. 

I definitely need to hang out with Six after that. Jumping in another relationship isn't in my to do list but I do want to be friends with him. 

CommonRedditLurker :

Yikes OP this whole situation is kinda a mess. I'm sorry you got cheated on, but I don't think retaliatory cheating is the answer here. Really leaning toward a soft ESH, but that's just because I think you should've confronted and broken up with your partner before sleeping with someone else :/

CommonRedditLurker :

OP. . .what the fuck???? How did this somehow get even messier?

What an absolutely insane response to an already stressful situation! From shoving Six into a closet (there's a joke there), to PUNCHING and knocking out your partner. . .I don't even know where to start with this one. Honestly, OP you should post this in r/legaladvice, because sucker-punching your soon-to-be ex girlfriend is a quick way to get sued for battery :/

Also, this is definitely an ESH type of situation. Yikes just yikes

OP response :

I didn't really wanted to do retaliatory cheating, honestly things just… escalated.

I PANICKED!!! I mean, yeah, in hindsight it was the worst reaction ever but, well, it was punch or be punched.

Dragonfruit_Is_Real :

Should I just tie her up’ HELP THAT’S FUNNY AS SHIT WTF 😭 giggling

OP response :

Glad my crazy life is making you laugh 😭

LanZen :

Man this is a mess... Alright I would say yes tie her up, she already proved to not be wanting to listen if she ransaked your place so fast, instead of listening your side of the story, (the audacy of her to be pissed when she did it fist and maybe this wasnt the first time she cheated) also take anysharp objects she can cut the rope with from her, and then man up and talk the 3 of you and break up, no matter what she says don't take her back.

Such an asshole move to shove Six in the cabinet when both of you could use glamours by the way, but i can understand you panicked but don't do it again.

Also talk to bud, because you are a retired hero are you not? It can be asumed you wanted to have privacy, and well if he is telling everyone about you "partner" won't your enemies target him now? :/

And yes moraly and technically it wasn't a good move to punch her lights out but, she deserved it, for bud, yourself and six, even if it was reflex xD

OP response :

Yeah I don't think Venom would be willing to listen to us… Kinda feel icky to tie her up but at this point, I think I have to.

I really got to apologize to Six for pushing him like that, I just really panicked 😭😭.

I do have to talk about Bud… he has to know. It's gonna be an awkward talk.

Ranma1_half :

Not gonna lie I died of laughter at the last part. Ok here what you can do. First let's sixer out of the cupboard. Second tie her up and lastly confront her together. Wishing you luck and the gods have mercy on you.

OP response :

Oh yeah shit Six is still in the cabinet.

Sara :

I'm sorry but I burst out laughing at the end 😂 .... Tie her with a magic rope and tell her that she was the one who betrayed you from the beginning.

OP response :

Magic rope sounds kinda good. I have to search in my treasure trove if I have one.

Lagt :

.... WOW

I don't even know what to say to that-

For starters maybe let Six out????

And uuhhhh wait for her to regain conscience without tying her up?

Like uuhhhh

That was...

Yeah no that was not a smart move op

Also very ballsy of her to be pissed at you cheating on her without asking normally first-

OP response :

I do really need to let Six out 😭😭. Unfortunately, I do think the rope is necessary. She can be intense and I don't want to risk it. Maybe I should ask for Six input too?

Sakurabloom_26 :

Welp, the damage is already done.

I’d say tie her up and confront Venom along with Six and break things off (you already punched her and she knows about you sleeping with someone else, her finding out that it was with Six and that you already knew about her cheating when it happened isn’t gonna make things THAT much worse)

Be prepared for pleading and false apologies, followed by explosive anger, accusations, and threats of revenge.

Best of luck (sending hugs)

OP response :

You're right, I don't think the situation can become worse than it already is. At this point what do I have to lose?

Oh man, I'm not looking forward to her reaction and all this.

Thanks (Hugs received)

Married2thegrind :

NTA, Venom was trying to throw hands about the supposed 'cheating' despite her having done the same. I'd suggest putting her into a room without many objects, tying her up there than confronting her (if OP is really serious about her destroying HALF A CITY??) and going on fron there.

I also kinda want to see Six's reaction to all this, how he confronts her. The wrath of one(1) magic monkey is one thing, but the wrath of TWO?? Legendary.

Also, maybe talk to Bud about saying that kinda stuff in public, people don't need to know anout your personal life. (Also maybe take off the glamor during the official confrontation, for funsies)

OP response :

She did destroy half the city once, so tying her up might prevent… a dangerous situation. I really gotta let Six out of this cabinet.

I'm not really clear on what really happened with Bud and how Venom overheard everything. But I do need to have a serious talk with him about this type of stuff.

And you know what? I might take off the glamors, spitting her a bit.

Halfdeadhalfpaniced :

Make sure to use good demon binding rope. That hit was very justified but she won’t see it that way and you really need to tell her who you were cheating with and explain the whole situation. Make her know you know what she did and make your claim before she tries to take him back or turn this into some messed up Polly relationship. Have multiple backup plans just in case and try not to hurt or scare away your new partner.

OP response :

Oh right, I do need a solid rope or this is gonna be even more messy! I guess it's confrontation time.

I absolutely refuse to let this turn into a poly relationship, I have nothing against them but I'm not going back with someone who cheated on me. I think Six think the same.

So yeah, the situation was messed up and suffice to say I was PANICKING. I miiight not be the best guy to deal with complicated relationship stuff, as you all read.

Anyway, here is the last update :

AITA for refusing to forgive my cheating girlfriend when I kinda cheated myself?

After I punched Venom and she fell unconscious, I was really panicking. Like, shit, this felt like the beginning of a murder story. First thing I did was check if she wasn't dead. I knew I didn't punch her that hard buuut I do have a lot of strength and sometimes I forget how weak others can be (as an immortal it's easy to forget mortality is a thing). Luckily, as I thought, she was just uncousious.

So I'm relieved and then I hear Six ask what’s happening (he was still in the cabinet). So I'm like “Oh shit he's still in there” and I let him out. I apologize for pushing him like this but he brushes away the subject and instead looks at Venom, who is on the ground, passed out, with a bruise on her face. Noooot a good look for me.

He gives me a “WTF??” look and here is how our conversation went :

Six : “What did you do??”

Me : “I, huh, punched her?”

Six : “Is she alright?? We don't need to bury the body in the backyard do we??”

Me : “No, no, she's just passed out.”

Six : “Okay… But why did you punch her?”

Me : “She was ready to throw hands at me. What was I meant to do, not throw hands too?”

Six : “So you punched her?”

Me : “It was a punch or be punched situation and I panicked, okay!?”

Six : “seriously? What do we now?”

We argued a little bit and eventually I offered my solution : tie her up and then confront her. Six was reluctant, which I can understand, but when I told him how much Venom would be upset he changed his mind. Venom is an intense person, she already destroyed half the city out of pettiness, what would she do after all this? It was safer, for all of us, if she was tied up. So I went to my treasure trove and looked for a special rope.

I found one who might do the job. Honestly I didn't remember all the effects the rope had but it can't be that bad, right? In my defense, there are a lot of things in my treasure trove and after millennias it's hard to keep track of every artifact. By the way, Six called my treasure trove a “chaos hazard” which, rude, but I forgive him because he tripped on a vase and that was pretty funny.

So we tied up Venom and waited. But she didn't wake up even after thirty minutes. The thing was…Bud was supposed to come in the evening for a training session and I didn't want him to see this mess. So I tell that to Six and we try to wake her up.

Six was more gentle than me. He poked her a bit, shook her by the shoulder.

After an hour I decided to step up the “waking Venom” mission. I didn't have time for this mess. So I grabbed a bucket of water and I threw the water at her. It worked very well. She woke up drenched and angry. In hindsight, it might not be my best move (and kinda of a butthole move). It made her even more angry. But at this point I didn't have anything to lose. I did give her a towel but she threw it right back at me. Well, she tried but it's difficult throwing a towel while tied up.

So Venom started by screaming at us. Things about “How dare you punch me and tie me up!?”, all those things. I didn't interrupted her and apologized for the punching (and the water throwing😅) because, yeah, not my best moves. Then Venom notices Six and…. awkward silence.

It lasts a bit until Six decides to clear things up. He explains how me and him found out about her cheating and got drunk and… slept together. He said that he didn't have any intention to sleep with me but the alcohol and the bad mental headscape after finding out about her cheating made things escalate. I second that and I chime in to tell my own version. I admit I snooped on her phone and found out everything. Venom listens with a frown then she tells HER version.

She doesn't deny the cheating bc obviously at this point it's useless to deny it. But then she told us she felt neglected by me and I spend more time with Bud than her and I was prioritizing Bud training, and heroing, over our relationship.

It kinda made me feel guilty, and I wondered if I truly did that, but then Six stepped in and asked her “What about me? You got a good reason for leading me on like that?”. She repeated the same thing. That Six made her feel seen, and all that, and she needed to find comfort somewhere else.

Boy, Six looked really pissed off. He went on a tangent about how if she wasn't feeling good in her relationship with me she should have broken it off, that it was selfish of her to do that, and in the end it hurts all of us.

Venom retaliated by saying that everyone made mistakes and that even the both of us made one when we slept together. She said something like : “In the end everyone cheated, so we're equals and we can start again with a clean state.” She even proposed a threesome.

Honestly, that pissed me off.

Excuse me, lady, in what world is this okay?? I know I didn't handle this situation elegantly (tbh I barged in that like a bull in a chinaware shop) BUT there is no way we're going back to dating.

So I was feeling petty. I undid my glamor cause I knew it would piss her off seeing the love marks, and I stared right into her eyes, saying there is no way we're going back together.

Oh boy, she didn't take that well. Maybe I shouldn't have angered her? But, honestly, I wanted to. I know. I'm a petty monkey. What can I say? She really pissed me off with this and, anyway, angering her a tiny bit more isn't gonna make that much of a difference. Like, you wanna play the game with me? You gotta be ready to be beaten!

So this evolved into a screaming match. She accused me of being a hypocrite. How much it was unfair that I couldn't forgive her when I did the same thing and cheated on her with Six. That made me feel guilty, but I didn't back down. I was kinda glad for the rope cause I swear if she wasn't tied up she was gonna strangle me alive.

Six was the one to separate us. He shut me up with one look, the kinda look parents give their children when they're throwing a tantrum in public, and stopped Venom with a very cold line : “There is nothing to argue about. This is over.”

So Six untied Venom and teleported her away with shadows??? (I didn't know he could do that, for one moment my dense ass truly thought demons were taking her away or something 😭). Annd, like I expected, Venom left with threats of vengeance.

Things were a bit awkward after that. Both Six and I were emotionally tired. But I didn't want to just let him go and never see him again. He's a cool dude. Despite this mess, we really had a great time together. So I told him maybe we could hang out, as friends. And he agrees, but he does add that, for now, he doesn't want anything more than friendship. And I understand.

Boy, dating is tiring.

But I do cling on the “for now” and, who knows, maybe this will lead to dating?

Six left after that and Bud arrived later on in the evening. I decided it was better to explain everything that happened, especially since I didn't part on good terms with Venom. So I sat him down and told him everything.

I think Bud passed through every emotion possible, shock, confusion, disgust (for him dating a spider was a solid no), amusement annnd he burst out laughing when I told him I punched Venom in the face.

He told me it wasn't his intention to cause this mess, and he was just talking about his best friend, somehow the topic briefly went on his encounter with Six, and he didn't pay attention if anyone was listening. I told him to be more careful because I have a lot of enemies and I don't want to cause problems for Six.

All in all, things went… okay? I haven't heard of Venom since then, I'm sure she's plotting something, but Bud is aware of everything and I do think we can take whatever she plans for.

Six and I are still friends. I went on a tour with him recently to make him visit the city and my mountain. Things are mainly okay and now we're laughing about this crazy adventure.

Bud is also helping figure out a number of things. He told me taking tests on the internet is NOT the best way to figure out your sexuality. I wasn't aware of that. And I wasn't aware of all the possibilities and different types of sexuality too. So I'm also taking it slow, trying to figure things out.

Thank you guys for your support, I sent you a lot of monkey hugs.

Who knows maybe I'll turn back to this site again if another crazy thing happens in my life, I do tend to have a pretty intense life, guess that's the package that comes with being a LEGEND!

Monkey King out.

Wait, no, shit, ignore that last part I'm totally not the Monkey King.

[monocytogenes]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @nirikeehan! Got two recent WIPs out and have been picking here and there at the Pravin and Theron longfic project, so here's some character work with the two of them getting ready for an op, ft. Theron doing hacker shit and being the most bachelor dude to bachelor, Pravin trying to shake his stimulant addiction, a joke about the metric system, and some inconvenient Gay Thoughts.

This premise is loosely 'what if SoR but it's the Star Cabal?'; you can find some previous WIP posts here:

“Everything is fine,” he heard himself say; distantly, as though through water.

“Oh, look at that.” Theron snatched it from him. “My unused PTO.”

“Yeah, nobody’s going to notice that.”

“Alright, I’ll get that taken care of. Thank you so much for your help. ...Bye.” Theron spun in his chair with a smug smile. “Got the credentials for the comms server. I need to check to confirm, but—” “That was fast.” Pravin tossed a bag of clothing onto the bed. “Wove a great story about a side-channel attack to a low-level tech and freaked them out so bad they didn’t bother transferring me,” he explained, turning back to where his datapad was docked on a table. “Let’s see…” “I have the uniforms,” Pravin declared. “I hope I got your size right; they’re using something called inches and I had to convert.” “Okay, sure, I’ll check in a few.” Pravin wandered across the room to the kitchen. Theron’s rented flat was prefab worker housing—little more than a bedroom and a bathroom, with tiled floors and plasteel walls resembling those of a ship. It was well-insulated from sound, though, and the man had intimated that he’d sliced the exterior camera system weeks prior to make his movements more difficult to track; the latter couldn’t be said of Pravin’s hotel, so they’d mutually agreed it would be better to continue their meetings here. He set the kettle to boil, sifting through Theron’s odd collection of teas: a few herbs common in Hutt Space, something floral that he didn’t recognize, and one called yarba whose packaging assured him it contained caffeine. Doubtless better than the powdered caf the man apparently drank, which somehow managed to be worse than the shipboard rations Pravin had endured in the navy. For fuck’s sake, you’d be better off with a stim, he’d thought derisively, a notion he’d then had to actively distract himself from for the following few hours, stretching against the lingering ache in his muscles. “Sweet,” Theron murmured to himself as the kettle pinged. “I’m in. What’s the number we want to forward to?” “Great question.” Pravin poured himself a cup. “Could your people take it?” “Let me ask if they’re available, given the time difference. Darok said 20 hours local, right?” “Yeah, we’ll get there maybe a half hour beforehand to be safe.” Pravin tapped out an inquiry to Shara, then rejoined Theron, setting the cup on the nightstand. Theron pulled a uniform shirt out of the bag, checking the tags. “Bigger one’s mine, right?” “Yes,” Pravin said flatly.

Theron yanked his shirt up over his head. He had a few scars on his back—faint, uneven abrasions that spoke of a nasty fall. The SIS clearly held a different perspective about such injuries than Intelligence; back in the day, all of Pravin’s comparable marks had been buffed out via the best plastic surgery the Empire had to offer lest they prove potentially identifying. Either that, or the Republic agency simply lacked the funding for comparable care. As Theron reached for the uniform shirt, Pravin’s gaze lingered on his shoulders, the ripple of lean but defined muscle around his spine. Theron’s eyes flit up to meet his; he quickly busied himself with the tea.

[beanghostprincess]

What are you most controversial/unpopular OP opinions??? Sorry if it was answered before

You want me to get canceled so bad-- If I speak-- But idk, I guess I'll say the controversial opinions I can say publicly without a bunch of people coming at me!

Zo$an is a bit... Overrated? And by overrated I mean extremely/annoyingly overrated. I like the ship and its canon dynamic but I think at least 80% of the fandom portrays them in a very mischaracterized way. Not to say that... The ship is literally everywhere and the shippers always look for every little thing to prove they're canon, even if the "proof" has literally nothing to do with them. It's not that I don't enjoy the ship (although I must admit I prefer other dynamics a lot more) I just can't stand shippers that go to extremes. It's funny because I think Zo$an's dynamic is way more interesting and romantic in canon than it will ever be in the fandom. It's a bit sad, ngl. I liked them a lot at first but it got so tiring and now I am pretty exhausted from seeing it everywhere. The people force it to be more than it is when the canon is already pretty fucking great.

Adding to the Zo$san thing. I think that relationship would only work if Luffy is there somehow but it wouldn't last a day without him in the relationship. Unless there's like, a ton of character development most of these people don't make them go through.

One Piece Film Z is my worst enemy. It's such a boring movie. The only good thing is the soundtrack and maybe the suits but God watching that was torture.

Boa hate is uhhhh weird. I mean, I get why the joke about her being in love with Luffy might be annoying, but I think most of you need to learn to understand that Oda's sense of humor is sometimes a bit too exaggerated (and not funny) and it has basically nothing to do with the actual canon dynamics between characters. Boa likes Luffy because he's one of the first men who has ever treated her right, so of course she confuses that feeling with love. And of course, yeah, it isn't canon. Whatever. Just read between the lines, maybe? And also, stop using words like "pedo" to describe her because using that term so lightly about 1) a fictional character and 2) somebody who's clearly not a pedo is fucked up. Lmao. Do you even know what that word means???

Once again complaining about Pudding hate and saying that it's stupid. I won't overanalyze because I always do it with her, but the only reason people hate her is for misogynistic reasons and because they're babying Sanji. Evil male characters are okay and hot and very traumatized but the second it's a woman she's the most evilest person ever! Because God forbid they make mistakes! Suddenly their character development isn't valid because they hurt their babygirl!

Now that we're talking about my dearest Pudding. Not tagging anybody of course, but I saw this post with so many interactions of people agreeing about Sanji considering violence as a sign of love which??? Doesn't make sense at all?? OP said it was because he couldn't tell the difference between love/abuse because of his family, but that's just... Not accurate. That could only happen if they had manipulated him into thinking abuse is a type of love, but he had healthy love growing up. Even when he was with the Vinsmokes (Sora and Reiju, I love you). And yet OP said Sanji considered Pudding's behavior flirting (wrong) and that's why he let her attack him (nope) and that it was proof of Zo$an. And okay, it's not a hugely popular theory, but a lot of people agreed with it and it bothered me a lot because it's both out of character and also using Pudding (complex female character) once again to try and prove the canon of a ship (that doesn't have anything to do with WCI either???). It just bothers me. People can perceive the story however they want but... Y'know.

OPLA isn't that good. Or good at all? I only like it because I like the cast and it's funny seeing my blorbos irl. But the script is simple and dull and just stupid most of the time. The characters are either simplified, mischaracterized, or forgotten. And tbh most of the shots are very awful and could be a lot better. The directing is also nonexistent. It's 6/10 and 3 of those points are because both the Zolu and the cast.

Apparently this is a very common theory about Nami's origins, but, uh, I don't think we need to know? What else do you need to know about her? People say she's a lost princess or something like that as if we didn't have a lost princess already (Sanji ily). Repeating the same plot would be boring and underwhelming, but also? It'd be extremely useless for the plot and it'd go against everything about Nami's story and the way Luffy reacts to it.

Luffy isn't canon aroace. In fact, the reasoning people use for him being "coded" is the same Oda uses for Zoro too and Zoro is almost never portrayed as the "idiot who doesn't know what sex is" the way Luffy often is. If you're calling Luffy canon aroace for what Oda said about him being focused on adventures, the same goes for Zoro being focused on his dream. They could be coded arospec but there's nothing confirmed and the constant discourse about it is stupid. Attacking others because of their ships just because you don't agree with them and saying it's wrong using our identity to do it is very fucked up. Especially since most of the time people complaining aren't even aroace. The only reason people do it (attacking others saying they can't ship Luffy and that it's "weird" and "wrong") is that they infantilize Luffy/Don't want him getting in between their ships (<- aroace person writing this) (also, it's very ableist since people agree on Luffy also being neurodivergent coded and treating him like a kid bc of that but this isn't about that now).

Somehow this is very common. Some fucking how. I can't believe I have to say this. I'm tired of people blaming Usopp for what happened in Water 7. Or in general hating Usopp. Actually, he's one of the best-written characters in the whole show and he's so underappreciated it's so frustrating.

Sanji's perv jokes are annoying af and we all know that, but people who hate the character and consider him a red flag for that are missing the point completely. The point being "Oda exaggerates jokes to an annoying extent and most of the time they don't even reflect the character". I understand they can make you uncomfortable (same here tbh) but reducing Sanji to only those jokes is a waste of his character. You need to take jokes less seriously.

If I see one of these "red flag OP boys" TikToks adding Law/Ace/Zoro/Sanji next to fucking Doffy I will riot. Also, stop adding Crocodile there. He's a mafioso, there's NO way he won't be a sweetheart to his lover.

Baron Omatsuri's artstyle and animation is amazing and it fits the plot and aesthetic of the movie perfectly and people saying it's ugly will forever bother me.

"Usopp is suddenly hot after timeskip!" He has always been hot what the fuck are you talking about.

People reduce Nami to her "mean"/"sarcastic" personality a lot when she's quite literally one of the most kind-hearted characters of all. That being said, morally speaking she's probably one of the worst. I could explain how that works but I don't want to do it now, the point is-- Let the girl be sweet instead of making her mean all the time. And also, let her be mean and selfish without making it her entire personality. There's something called "balance".

Film Red was kind of bad. Like, the songs are amazing (thanks, Ado) but the ending is awful and the plot is very meh. I'm only here for Uta and Shanks but the rest of the characters are just useless. I do appreciate Sanji's hair in the movie, though.

[heyheydidjaknow]

I fucking figured him (Dazai) out I think maybe. Walk with me here; my thoughts may very well change after I finish the anime (and I’m sure none of this is groundbreaking for this fandom) but I’m excited and I’m not tagging shit because I’m not necessarily confident and sold on this stuff yet just like walk with me here, okay?

Okay, so Dazai’s smart, right? He’s inhumanly smart; he pulls shit straight out of his ass, isn’t tricked, is usually right. He knows just about everything that’s going to happen at a given time, can predict things he should be able to predict, has a deep understanding of the human psyche, is well read, is the most expert strategist, etc etc. He’s mentally OP is what I’m saying; it’s total bullshit. And for the longest time (less than a week— I’m getting this stuff way too fast for comfort actually) I had no idea whether Dazai was legitimately suicidal or if it was just a very dark ongoing joke. My current hypothesis is that the reason why he is such an insufferable dipshit loser man is because he knows so much about people and how they behave that he has lost interest in humanity as a whole because humanity is predictable. He has to intellectualize basically everything— seemingly just because that’s how he is inherently— but because he does, life and everything in it is boring and thus miserable in the same way that sitting in a blank room would be boring and miserable. I refuse to use a chess metaphor, but I think his existence is meant to be understood as being as awful to him as spending your entire life writing lines or doing a math worksheet that doesn’t ever end; sure, there are variations in the individual strokes and sometimes you’ll get an interesting set of circumstances that make it slightly less tedious, but there’s nothing of any real substance to latch onto and the novelty wears off almost as soon as it’s set in. His pathological need to fuck with people and lie and get himself into bullshit situations is born from a childishly simple, unrelenting, seemingly torturous boredom because save for limited exceptions, there is zero point in doing anything for any given cause because people are predictable and life is cyclical and why bother trying to put any real effort into building a sandcastle next to an unrelenting sea?

Odasaku, then, is extraordinary not just because he fought against his instinct to disregard human life, but because despite how trivial humanity as a concept is— and even though suffering, especially for him, was clearly inevitable— he still made the effort to try and build a beautiful sandcastle because it was the best thing to do, the thing he could do to bring the most beauty to the world. But Dazai seemingly did not internalize that idea in the same way that Odasaku did; he only internalized it so far as “do good things if you really don’t care either way” (which is about as impactful as far as this whole mess is concerned as saying “maybe try building sandcastles with towers instead of moats”) and hasn’t gotten so far as understanding what the actual point of acting in morally just ways is yet. He’s just as bored as he was before (and just as suicidal and manipulative); he doesn’t have any real reason to care about people as people yet.

I’m sure this isn’t a fresh take or necessarily an accurate take, but we’re starting to get closer. And Chuuya I’ve almost figured out but I’m not sure yet. And the other characters seem pretty straight forward. I can taste that I’m almost there; I just need a little more information.

[houseofbrat]

Is there actually a #Wales Kid Number Four or is that a metaphor for something else? What am I missing here? I don’t understand. Stephen Colbert jokes on live TV that William knocked up her mistress. Is that it? Does Wales kid number 4 have a different mother? And is that what caused Kate’s nervous breakdown? What wrong decision did William make that he can’t admit to?

As I posted a few things on William's past this weekend, let's remember that William a) has a temper, b) has a big ego, and c) is thin-skinned.

William's reputation as being a "good" king-in-waiting solely rests on statements and pr games his mother played thirty years ago during the War of the Waleses. His cult of fans love him because he was hot twenty years ago; although, some still think he's hot now. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Anyhow, cut to September 2022 when William became the heir to the throne, The Duke of Cornwall, and The Prince of Wales. After that, William no longer had to depend on his father to bankroll him and his office. Before September 2022, William's (& Kate's) office reported up to Clarence House, office of the previous Prince of Wales, Charles.

Since then, William has proceeded to fuck plenty of things up, even though his über fans view everything with rose-colored glasses. Let's review some of those fuckups & weird shit:

There was the fuckup at Boston in 2022 when William issued a statement throwing his godmother under the bus when all he had to say was “This is an issue for Buckingham Palace.” Except he didn’t.

No foreign tours since becoming The Prince & Princess of Wales.

There was the bizarre photo op of Andrew being driven to church by William last August (2023), when everyone with a functional, long-term memory knows that William has never kowtowed to his father.

Kate’s stretch of wearing thirteen pantsuits in a row, ‘cause she was all about “the work.” Somehow, she didn’t go on a crusade about wearing pantsuits when she was only The Duchess of Cambridge.

Announcing Kate had “planned abdominal surgery” the day after said planned abdominal surgery. If it was “planned,” then wouldn’t they have said something at least the day of rather than the day after?

The entire pr fuck up of not having Kate photographed leaving The London Clinic after being discharged, which in turn led to more fuckups.

Then there’s the timeline of fuckery that’s happened from Christmas until 09 March 2024 that I collated before The 2024 Mother’s Day Photo Disaster.

William is an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish.

Due to his natural, control-freak-plus-privacy-fetish state, he fucked up Kate's whole pr when she left the hospital. The entire controversy regarding "Where is Kate?" would never have even happened had he handled it properly.

All he had to do was allow her to be photographed leaving the hospital. She didn't even have to walk out of the hospital. He could have just driven her out the same way he himself was photographed leaving The London Clinic.

Except he didn't do that.

Because he's an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish. Again, his über fans who view everything he does with rose-colored glasses because they're parked up his rectum, will write odes and songs as to how William "protected" Kate's "privacy."

Ah, yes, the same "privacy protecting" moves that have garnered comments like this from the UK press:

“I think the thing we’ve actually seen pretty consistently about Kensington Palace since the Prince of Wales took over as it were, isn’t actually–they aren’t very good at communicating with the public. They had that visit which didn’t go very well. They’re doing whatever’s going on with here. I think clearly there’s a problem.”

“The pr machine that can handle Megxit can surely handle the princess getting surgery, and it has–just as Stephen says–spun out into these wild, wild rumors. Most of which are pretty crazy, ultimately stemming from the fact that something doesn’t feel quite right about this in a story with multiple witnesses and no photos. But, you know, let’s see, maybe, in the next 12 hours some photos do emerge. That would be a fascinating development.”

Note that these two comments recognize the before and after William became the heir to the throne. For some reason, the Kensington Palace press office could handle the shitshow of Megxit in 2020 when they were under the auspices of Clarence House. Except today that is no longer the case.

Because the Kensington Palace of today is the one that helps The Daily Show write their script for the evening.

Because they've become an INTERNATIONAL JOKE!

And it's the current Kensington Palace that picked a fight with the British Army over Kate's picture at The Colonel's Review almost two weeks ago.

Because, again, William is an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish.

William is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, one beer short of a six-pack, one egg short of an omlet, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, etc.

And yes, there is unquestionably more crazy shit coming our way after William goes on vacation for several weeks.

Again.

[gayhenrycreel]

i think people need to stop being so angry about people having genital preferences. its not transphobic to not want to eat cunt.

im a trans man and im only attracted to men with a dick and a flat chest (this includes trans men). i cant help it. its just how i am. its not because i don't see trans men as men or something, im just not into pussy.

stop shaming people for not being into girldick or boypussy.

ive also noticed that a lot of these people shaming others about this are also very... weird about bottom surgery. bottom surgery is just as life saving as top surgery. if you actually look on transbucket you can see that it does look real and its very rare that someone completely loses sensation after bottom surgery.

im not as familiar with vaginoplasty, but it seems that people who fear phalloplasty think that scars are hideous and that the first stage is the only stage. thats not true. scars are just a part of someones body, and phalloplasty has secondary stages, after which the neo penis looks just any other dick. stop looking at photos a few weeks after surgery, look for photos a few years post op. it takes time to heal.

people who fear metoidioplasty just think micropenises are gross. thats it. they also think bottom growth is disgusting.

weirdly, all of these people are trans. i have not seen a single cis person on this site go into trans tags and claim bottom surgery is mutilation. ive seen many trans men do it. (the terfs seem to stick to their own tags).

honestly with all the terfs around here its really fuckin weird.

they also seem to believe that there are 4 genders: men, trans men, women, and trans women. thats clearly not right.

they stereotype trans men (they call them boys regardless of age) as being white, submissive, and never wanting to transition. its very rare i see art of trans men who are not white femboys.

they do the same to trans women- sorry, "trans girlies".

interestingly, they always draw feminine women and men, but never masculine anyone. art of masculine people is always drawn by those who are in the process of transition or butch lesbians.

its the terf kool aid. they think masculinity will make them like their oppressors, so they cant imagine that anyone would ever want to be masculine in any way.

they really seem to think bears are gross too. smells like fatphobia.

theyre also weird about trans people who are... not young twinks? why do they keep drawing us in maid outfits? consistently?

and then theres the fanfics. a while ago i made a post about cis people doing this, but since then ive realized trans people do it too. a lot. i am yet to find a fanfic featuring a trans man who is not a submissive bottom. always with tits. always scrawny. always ALWAYS into having his cervix destroyed.

some trans men are like that and they deserve representation, but its the only representation i see.

also, when you look at these peoples bios, you see that they are either cis women in their 20s, or teenage trans guys.

i think they are so out of touch with real world queerness that they have come to believe the stereotypes chasers have made for us.

and thats why trans tags read like fetish tags.

also, transhet people get thrown under the bus. completely erased. i have never seen a fic depicting a straight trans man- sorry, "pussyboy". sometimes i see one saying noooo, hes bisexual. and then he gets railed by a cis man youd see in hollywood.

and why is every fic about trans people porn? do we exist outside of porn or are we just mpreg fetish fuel? yeah, a lot of its mpreg. and they react to REAL LIFE MEN getting pregnant as some kind of joke. they make suggestive comments, theyre just all sorts of weird and invasive. its gross. those are real people.

it fucking hurts to see other trans people talk about bodies like mine as if we're not real actual humans, just sexual fantasies.

i cant go into ftm tags because theres porn everywhere. and its not bots. its young trans men who think trans men are only defined by pussy.

thats not how it works. we're defined by being men. not all trans men have tits and vaginas. surgery exists. this place is crazy.

on youtube men declare that women and faggots are destroying western civilization for wanting basic autonomy.

on tumblr, everyone, except a select few who stop to think, declare that masculinity is inherently restrictive and oppressive and that testosterone is poison. which republicans on youtube also claim. the difference is that tumblrinas think cis men are included in being poisoned by testosterone.

go back to terf island and grovel at the feet of jkr like you have wet dreams about.

just because youre trans doesnt mean you cant be transphobic.

have you heard of tirfs? trans-inclusive radfems. they believe that trans women are women and must be saved from the evil men, and that trans men are men and so are rapists. terfs love them.

you need to understand that transphobia is not the defining trait of terfs. the defining trait of terfism is the belief that men are disgusting, violent, sex driven, out of control, abusive, and rapists in waiting. ive seen them say that male fetuses should be aborted by law. thats eugenics. ya know, like fascism.

because thats what it is. by my definition, fascism is the belief that certain humans are not worthy of life. terfs think men are not worthy of life, and drag trans people into it.

before you decide that trans men, or whatever fetishy term you call us, are all twinks, think. like, at all. is there a reason you think this way? do you have room in your worldview for hairy trans men? hairy feminine trans men? trans bears? trans men of colour? masculine trans men with long hair?

trans men who have surgery and T shots?

or does that seem too much like... i dunno... body horror to you?

thats how these people react to sex changes. they make comments on photos of phalloplasty scars and say it looks like a horrible burn scar. it looks painful they say. "how do you go out in public?", "why would you put yourself through that?".

if someone had a kidney transplant would you say such things about those scars?

both are life saving surgeries. treat them as such.

stop writing the same smut over and over about a woman who can only have vaginal sex and never be anything other than submissive and breedable and slap the word "cuntboy" on it. has it occurred to you that some trans men would like to read about guys like them? not a bunch of white twink clones? fucking hell, it hard to find twink clone smut where the twink even has a flat chest!

it actually makes a lot of trans guys really dysphoric to have so much attention put on the parts we're born with. not all trans guys, but a lot. honestly the lack of representation makes me feel like i have to use parts of me that i cant even look at. ive seen a lot of other guys express this feeling too.

are we not sexy if we don't have sex a certain way? not getting representation hurts. it feels very isolating. the only kind of people like me who get called sexy are called sexy for things i can not do. (seriously i am physically not able to get anything in my front hole without extreme pain. how do you think trans guys like me who are physically incapable of vaginal sex feel about boypussy fetishism?)

anal sex is a thing. do you think its too gross for your twink clone to try? almost like... its unnatural...?... its dirty...?... its... sinful?

good fuckin job, buckaroo, ya reinvented classic homophobia.

there is no form of consensual sex that is sinful. you're just anti kink! if ya think anal sex is gross wait till ya hear about fisting.

youre all "i wanna turn that femboys prostate into jelly" until you realize it in his ass. so you give that femboy a g-spot instead. it doesn't take much to realize that all holes have something gross that comes outta them, not just ya asshole. i mean, blood and earwax is pretty unpleasant too. youre fine with kissing and vomits definitely gross! (your nose is also connected to the back of your throat so if you french someone youre gonna get nasal cavity mucus on your tongue)

if you think anal sex is gross youre just an 80s homophobe.

think of of it this way: i dont wanna stick my dick in a hole that ejects a buncha blood every month anymore than you want to acknowledge that some people prefer to shove something up their asshole. both are equally gross, and neither of them are actually gross at all unless youve been told its gross your whole life.

stop deciding that (however unconsciously) trans men can only be skinny white young twinks. i have actually yet to met a trans man above the age of 20 who is skinny. the trans guys ive met irl are fat and hairy. its quite obvious that the twink thing is just a stereotype.

seriously, yous are missing out on writing smut about fat hairy men, but youre too scared of being *gasp* not perfect under white cishetpatriarchy, ergo it is incomprehensible that someone would be attracted to that let alone want to be like that.

ever since i watched Jumanji: welcome to the jungle, i have wanted to be a fat middle-aged man. i was genuinely confused that that barbie didn't like it. cant remember her name.

yous are the same people who wanna "fuck that old man" arent ya? the people who are usually grossed out when you see an old man above the age of 30? it seems like the same sorta mentality.

if a cis guy got hairy would you call him disgusting and unattractive? not that ive seen. its reserved for trans guys on T.

tldr; theres nothing wrong with having a preference for certain genitals, those people who say its wrong just think its transphobic because they think not being attracted to someone means you hate them. they just don't realize that some people get bottom surgery and that its not a bad thing. theyve been drinking the terf koolaid