#“he would not fucking say that but it is CLEARLY a joke and op i aware of it so maybe don't get so worked up take a deep breath and relax”

[lineffability]

my personal taxonomy of "he would not fucking say that" is

1 "he would not fucking say that normally but under these specific circumstances he might and isn't that interesting"

2 "he would not fucking say that but it's fun to imagine actually"

3 "he would not fucking say that and I do not understand where you even got the faintest notion from that he might, but I remain puzzledly neutral"

4 "he would not fucking say that and I am gritting my teeth and seething inwardly but I can ignore this without receiving too much psychic damage"

5 "he would not fucking say that and the only thing stopping me from inviting you to a duel in the town square tomorrow at noon is my working brain, which I have, opposed to you apparently, but I would still like to sacrifice you to the nearest volcano and delete my short term memory just so I don't have to be aware that I live in a world where people have so little grasp on a character and no apparent media literacy whatsoever, excuse me while I go count some flowers and scream from the nearest hilltop"

[fairykazu]

AITA FOR BEING COLD TO A STRANGER FOR BEING WEIRD BUT THEY ENDED UP BEING MY CRUSH I LIKED FROM MY CHILDHOOD ??? FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cw: informal writing, ooc, modern au, plotless ?, crackpost, use of kys/kms jokes, ip address leak (NOT REAL!!! i dont condone this in real life.), brief stan war, etc note: i think scaramouche using reddit for advice is funny. i might use this for a diff character. im reposting this from my other account @kaedehararchives masterlist

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/amitheasshole ∙ a year ago thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but they KEEP thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with them. so i pulled some strings and they aren't allowed to talk to me.... well in a class we share.

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses. he wiped right, unlocking his phone, to see the notifications.

replies:

lesbianpirate69 you sound like an asshole

eyepatchwearernumber1 lwk loser behavior lmao thehatguy [OP] who even wears eyepatches? get off my post detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

thank god someone agrees with me. he thought. well that was until he kept scrolling. a bunch of people calling him an asshole. typical. but the username "hydronarwhal" caught his eye. stupid reddit user. who even uses this stupid app?

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

well, two more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not? bobaya wait no, op is valid. t-mobile is ass

robinoaknumberonefan this sounds parasocial thehatguy [OP] you cannot be talking? barbaraisbetterthanrobin ROBIN CANT BEAT BARBARA'S PERFECTION robinoaknumberonefan uhh okay, albert. (albert's info) (albert's info) open full thread?

---

is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i? adornthenight read this then www.reddit.com/r/aita/avidsnoopyfan

---

u/avidsnoopyfan my side of aita for treating someone for being weird? hello! im the person in the thehatguy's post. i want to clear things up. he said that i was clingy to him and that i was someone who wanted to use him for money. i reassure you guys that isn't the case. he just looked familiar. someone i held dear to my heart. i know that's bad to project on someone you met. technically you can argue that i couldve seen him from social media but i don't really use any other than pinterest.

no comments yet

[mrspark7777777]

The translation though

https://x.com/cFCKBtshEFcVgx0/status/1821583637718192150

does it make sense? I can’t grasp it, because it almost feels backwards. But really the gist is they weren’t free to meet up at the same time, a bit like what you said before about distractions. I almost felt that last year there was some self imposed ban on seeking each other, especially going to he others promotions, which is why when JK is free he didn’t go to music bank to see JM like Yoongi or on a show with him, or like Hobi to see the mv filmed, like they did it on purpose? I’m probably not making sense, but as in to lay low as best they could with impending enlistment, not that they weren’t seeing each other but not overtly or maybe not enough quality time?

Thanks for the ask my lovely. I've addressed some of this here but sure, let's talk about this too. Just like OP said;

Its been established JK had a hard time during FACE era. His boyfriend was MIA, he didn't see him much, it took a toll. A toll Jimin was very aware of. My friends and I were just talking about this and we agreed AYS could be a result of Jimin's guilt. Him wanting to make it up to JK. I also believe what happened with JK during that time was the reason why they applied to enlist together.

Jimin loves to joke and make fun and he loves to make us happy but he loves to make JK happy even more. Say what you will about him but he priorities JK's needs and always has. This travel show, we will enjoy the hell out of it and have a great time, but Jikook needed this. They needed this escape and if they could only get away but portraying it as work, then thats exactly what they were going to do.

So yes anon, you're correct. The operative word here is enough. They talked of course, but not enough. They spend time together of course, just not enough. They were busy, they needed to behave while waiting to see if they would be approved for the buddy system, and so they didn't get to enjoy eo as much as they would have loved to.

It's as simple as that

During 3D era JK said Jimin kept coming up to him and singing "pweuriri" clearly that means they were spending time together. In a live he talked about Jimin rearranging his lights at his home. Then just recently Jimin told RM him and JK drink alot and talk about music. I mean, these are just 3 examples and they sure as hell didn't happen via osmosis.

They saw eo, they talked, of course they fucking did. Think hickeygate. When it doubt, think hickeygate. They couldn't outright tell us what happened and therefore manipulated the truth or rather didn't give us the whole story. That has and will always be an ongoing theme with Jikook: a gay couple in the closet. Go back to that scene and watch JK during this conversation. At some point he does this thing where he's like scratching his neck but you can tell there is no itch. That to me was a sign that there was more to the story.

So just think hickeygate and go from there. There is more to Jikook than meets the eye...

[butwhatifidothis]

Talking from a fe3h discourse perspective I get hating Rhea, as a Rhea lover. To a lesser extent I GUESS I get Seteth. But Flayn??????? She's just vibing and eating fish??? She has NOTHING to do with Rhea's decisions? Like at that point you're (not you op, general you) just looking for issues. To be clear if you hate her because of her personality or whatever sure, to each their own. But hating her because "church bad" feels really stupid to me. That's like a rhea/church fan hating the black eagles on principal because they're part of edelgard's house or because they don't hate edelgard.

When you realize they ascribe to this kind of mentality

it starts to make a lot more sense. Yeah, if two members of a race being bad if enough for you to ascribe malice and evil to every single member of said race, it's pretty easy to also say that the very blood of that race is evil and having it course through your veins makes you evil.

Which they've been saying for a while now!

Yes, you are in fact seeing a ~year-and-a-half old screenshot of them saying the exact same racist garbage they're saying now.

Also, just. This fucker keeps repeating this stupid fucking point about Nemesis and frankly it pisses me off.

Two years. From as early as two days ago (as of July 11th 2024) to as far back as two fucking years, they've been repeating "Nemesis couldn't have been THAT BAD you guys, because the people he's been tyrannically ruling over for over a century and who didn't know the full extent of his actions which include the genocide he committed believed in the lie about him being a liberator! A supposed liberator of a group of people these oppressed ignorant civilians would have had literally no contact with whatsoever given Nemesis has been ruling for over a century! Meaning any human alive during the actual reign of the Nabateans would have been fucking dead by the time Nemesis was killed, meaning any alive during Nemesis' reign had no way of knowing how that rule actually was! This lie was so imprinted into the people's conscious that Rhea couldn't erase it, so it has to be true and not a lie anymore!"

Literally saying that Nemesis was right to do what he did because he said he was and the people who had no choice but to believe him believed he was. Like I said, they are so fucking desperate to defend this genocider and to degrade the Nabateans as an entire race to be biologically inclined towards evil, and have been desperate to do this for years.

Here are a couple more choice words Shandale has said!

"He didn't genocide them because he WANTED to, he did it because he HAD to! If he didn't, anyone he brought with him to genocide the Nabateans would have been killed!"

Oh, but silly me! What I am talking about?

It wasn't a genocide! It was getting rid of oppressor and conquerors! Those oppressors and conquerors, you know, just so happening to be the entirety of the Nabatean race.

Which, hm! Guess what nonnie!

Explicitly includes Flayn! Someone who literally never did anything to anyone! Oh, except be willing to kill followers... who are a direct threat to others and are desecrating her mother's grave. Oh, but who cares about silly little nitpicks like that, she's willing to kill her followers!! ...Oh wait, there's only reference to Cichol in that paralogue? Cethleann isn't even mentioned once anywhere in the paralogue? Like literally anywhere? Bah! Who cares! Flayn is evil, just like all the other Nabateans! Let's """"""""joke"""""""" about killing her over and over and over and over and over again!

Teehee isn't it so funny guys! They're killing Flayn, haha, soooo funny! Ignore how they think Flayn's race in its entirety needs to be killed and how they lie about what Flayn's done to paint her as evil, they're just jokingly killing Flayn and joking about how fun they find the idea of killing this member of a race they clearly hate over and over keekeekee!!! This race isn't real guys you're not allowed to find this disturbing plus they're just joking anyway hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

(there's actually more of these "jokes". Like way more of them. Just, lettin' everybody know)

And, oh, wow!

This includes Indech and Macuil! Nabateans who cut off all contact with humanity after they had helped kill the genocider of their race. Macuil isn't even in Fodlan anymore, he's in the middle of a Sreng desert, but, nope! They helped kill Nemesis, meaning they are also completely evil :)

Funny how every single Nabatean who stood up against the human who killed them all is deemed irrevocably evil no matter what, but the human Agarthans are just poor little victims who deserved more nuance and sympathy even after they literally murder children. But we're the mean ones for pointing all of this out as bad tho

[kaedehararchives]

AITA FOR BEING COLD TO A STRANGER FOR BEING WEIRD BUT THEY ENDED UP BEING THE GIRL I LIKED FROM MY CHILDHOOD ??? FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cw: informal writing, ooc, modern au, plotless ?, crackpost, use of kys/kms jokes, ip address leak (NOT REAL!!! i dont condone this in real life. i think it's kind of in character for scaramouche) note: i think scaramouche using reddit for advice is funny. i might use this for a diff character. i didn't really have a plan for this one

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but she KEEPS thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with her and

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses.

replies: detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

thank god someone agrees with me. until he kept scrolling.

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

one more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not?

---

is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i?

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird (two updates)

[nekohime19]

AITA for refusing to forgive my cheating girlfriend when I kinda cheated myself?

(last pat tof this crazy adventure! Here we go guys!)

Again, thank you for all the insight, the situation is kinda messed up but you guys helped me take a step back.

Okay so I have one last update to this crazy love life of mine, but before that here are my answers to your comments :

TheWayoftheEnigmatic :

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wukong is NTA

But man that whole situation is cursed! 😵

Still funny though.

OP response :

👀👀 Wukong??? Noo, that's TOTALLY not me. I'm, huh, another immortal monkey.

Followingthewater :

tie her up ig and let six out, she might attack you when she wakes so better to be prepared ig. If you can, try to calm the situation down as much as possible and try to communicate to her to avoid a fight. It's not fair she was clearly cheating on you and gets mad that you slept with her side piece, sounds hypocritical of her.

Besides that, if you're interest in six maybe later try to set up a time to talk again, try to find out what type of person he is before you start trying to date, y'know, to not date another 'bad guy'. Would suck if he was into any problems.

OP response :

Tying her up seem to be the best option yeah. Idk if I'll be able to calm her down but I'll try. 

I definitely need to hang out with Six after that. Jumping in another relationship isn't in my to do list but I do want to be friends with him. 

CommonRedditLurker :

Yikes OP this whole situation is kinda a mess. I'm sorry you got cheated on, but I don't think retaliatory cheating is the answer here. Really leaning toward a soft ESH, but that's just because I think you should've confronted and broken up with your partner before sleeping with someone else :/

CommonRedditLurker :

OP. . .what the fuck???? How did this somehow get even messier?

What an absolutely insane response to an already stressful situation! From shoving Six into a closet (there's a joke there), to PUNCHING and knocking out your partner. . .I don't even know where to start with this one. Honestly, OP you should post this in r/legaladvice, because sucker-punching your soon-to-be ex girlfriend is a quick way to get sued for battery :/

Also, this is definitely an ESH type of situation. Yikes just yikes

OP response :

I didn't really wanted to do retaliatory cheating, honestly things just… escalated.

I PANICKED!!! I mean, yeah, in hindsight it was the worst reaction ever but, well, it was punch or be punched.

Dragonfruit_Is_Real :

Should I just tie her up’ HELP THAT’S FUNNY AS SHIT WTF 😭 giggling

OP response :

Glad my crazy life is making you laugh 😭

LanZen :

Man this is a mess... Alright I would say yes tie her up, she already proved to not be wanting to listen if she ransaked your place so fast, instead of listening your side of the story, (the audacy of her to be pissed when she did it fist and maybe this wasnt the first time she cheated) also take anysharp objects she can cut the rope with from her, and then man up and talk the 3 of you and break up, no matter what she says don't take her back.

Such an asshole move to shove Six in the cabinet when both of you could use glamours by the way, but i can understand you panicked but don't do it again.

Also talk to bud, because you are a retired hero are you not? It can be asumed you wanted to have privacy, and well if he is telling everyone about you "partner" won't your enemies target him now? :/

And yes moraly and technically it wasn't a good move to punch her lights out but, she deserved it, for bud, yourself and six, even if it was reflex xD

OP response :

Yeah I don't think Venom would be willing to listen to us… Kinda feel icky to tie her up but at this point, I think I have to.

I really got to apologize to Six for pushing him like that, I just really panicked 😭😭.

I do have to talk about Bud… he has to know. It's gonna be an awkward talk.

Ranma1_half :

Not gonna lie I died of laughter at the last part. Ok here what you can do. First let's sixer out of the cupboard. Second tie her up and lastly confront her together. Wishing you luck and the gods have mercy on you.

OP response :

Oh yeah shit Six is still in the cabinet.

Sara :

I'm sorry but I burst out laughing at the end 😂 .... Tie her with a magic rope and tell her that she was the one who betrayed you from the beginning.

OP response :

Magic rope sounds kinda good. I have to search in my treasure trove if I have one.

Lagt :

.... WOW

I don't even know what to say to that-

For starters maybe let Six out????

And uuhhhh wait for her to regain conscience without tying her up?

Like uuhhhh

That was...

Yeah no that was not a smart move op

Also very ballsy of her to be pissed at you cheating on her without asking normally first-

OP response :

I do really need to let Six out 😭😭. Unfortunately, I do think the rope is necessary. She can be intense and I don't want to risk it. Maybe I should ask for Six input too?

Sakurabloom_26 :

Welp, the damage is already done.

I’d say tie her up and confront Venom along with Six and break things off (you already punched her and she knows about you sleeping with someone else, her finding out that it was with Six and that you already knew about her cheating when it happened isn’t gonna make things THAT much worse)

Be prepared for pleading and false apologies, followed by explosive anger, accusations, and threats of revenge.

Best of luck (sending hugs)

OP response :

You're right, I don't think the situation can become worse than it already is. At this point what do I have to lose?

Oh man, I'm not looking forward to her reaction and all this.

Thanks (Hugs received)

Married2thegrind :

NTA, Venom was trying to throw hands about the supposed 'cheating' despite her having done the same. I'd suggest putting her into a room without many objects, tying her up there than confronting her (if OP is really serious about her destroying HALF A CITY??) and going on fron there.

I also kinda want to see Six's reaction to all this, how he confronts her. The wrath of one(1) magic monkey is one thing, but the wrath of TWO?? Legendary.

Also, maybe talk to Bud about saying that kinda stuff in public, people don't need to know anout your personal life. (Also maybe take off the glamor during the official confrontation, for funsies)

OP response :

She did destroy half the city once, so tying her up might prevent… a dangerous situation. I really gotta let Six out of this cabinet.

I'm not really clear on what really happened with Bud and how Venom overheard everything. But I do need to have a serious talk with him about this type of stuff.

And you know what? I might take off the glamors, spitting her a bit.

Halfdeadhalfpaniced :

Make sure to use good demon binding rope. That hit was very justified but she won’t see it that way and you really need to tell her who you were cheating with and explain the whole situation. Make her know you know what she did and make your claim before she tries to take him back or turn this into some messed up Polly relationship. Have multiple backup plans just in case and try not to hurt or scare away your new partner.

OP response :

Oh right, I do need a solid rope or this is gonna be even more messy! I guess it's confrontation time.

I absolutely refuse to let this turn into a poly relationship, I have nothing against them but I'm not going back with someone who cheated on me. I think Six think the same.

So yeah, the situation was messed up and suffice to say I was PANICKING. I miiight not be the best guy to deal with complicated relationship stuff, as you all read.

Anyway, here is the last update :

AITA for refusing to forgive my cheating girlfriend when I kinda cheated myself?

After I punched Venom and she fell unconscious, I was really panicking. Like, shit, this felt like the beginning of a murder story. First thing I did was check if she wasn't dead. I knew I didn't punch her that hard buuut I do have a lot of strength and sometimes I forget how weak others can be (as an immortal it's easy to forget mortality is a thing). Luckily, as I thought, she was just uncousious.

So I'm relieved and then I hear Six ask what’s happening (he was still in the cabinet). So I'm like “Oh shit he's still in there” and I let him out. I apologize for pushing him like this but he brushes away the subject and instead looks at Venom, who is on the ground, passed out, with a bruise on her face. Noooot a good look for me.

He gives me a “WTF??” look and here is how our conversation went :

Six : “What did you do??”

Me : “I, huh, punched her?”

Six : “Is she alright?? We don't need to bury the body in the backyard do we??”

Me : “No, no, she's just passed out.”

Six : “Okay… But why did you punch her?”

Me : “She was ready to throw hands at me. What was I meant to do, not throw hands too?”

Six : “So you punched her?”

Me : “It was a punch or be punched situation and I panicked, okay!?”

Six : “seriously? What do we now?”

We argued a little bit and eventually I offered my solution : tie her up and then confront her. Six was reluctant, which I can understand, but when I told him how much Venom would be upset he changed his mind. Venom is an intense person, she already destroyed half the city out of pettiness, what would she do after all this? It was safer, for all of us, if she was tied up. So I went to my treasure trove and looked for a special rope.

I found one who might do the job. Honestly I didn't remember all the effects the rope had but it can't be that bad, right? In my defense, there are a lot of things in my treasure trove and after millennias it's hard to keep track of every artifact. By the way, Six called my treasure trove a “chaos hazard” which, rude, but I forgive him because he tripped on a vase and that was pretty funny.

So we tied up Venom and waited. But she didn't wake up even after thirty minutes. The thing was…Bud was supposed to come in the evening for a training session and I didn't want him to see this mess. So I tell that to Six and we try to wake her up.

Six was more gentle than me. He poked her a bit, shook her by the shoulder.

After an hour I decided to step up the “waking Venom” mission. I didn't have time for this mess. So I grabbed a bucket of water and I threw the water at her. It worked very well. She woke up drenched and angry. In hindsight, it might not be my best move (and kinda of a butthole move). It made her even more angry. But at this point I didn't have anything to lose. I did give her a towel but she threw it right back at me. Well, she tried but it's difficult throwing a towel while tied up.

So Venom started by screaming at us. Things about “How dare you punch me and tie me up!?”, all those things. I didn't interrupted her and apologized for the punching (and the water throwing😅) because, yeah, not my best moves. Then Venom notices Six and…. awkward silence.

It lasts a bit until Six decides to clear things up. He explains how me and him found out about her cheating and got drunk and… slept together. He said that he didn't have any intention to sleep with me but the alcohol and the bad mental headscape after finding out about her cheating made things escalate. I second that and I chime in to tell my own version. I admit I snooped on her phone and found out everything. Venom listens with a frown then she tells HER version.

She doesn't deny the cheating bc obviously at this point it's useless to deny it. But then she told us she felt neglected by me and I spend more time with Bud than her and I was prioritizing Bud training, and heroing, over our relationship.

It kinda made me feel guilty, and I wondered if I truly did that, but then Six stepped in and asked her “What about me? You got a good reason for leading me on like that?”. She repeated the same thing. That Six made her feel seen, and all that, and she needed to find comfort somewhere else.

Boy, Six looked really pissed off. He went on a tangent about how if she wasn't feeling good in her relationship with me she should have broken it off, that it was selfish of her to do that, and in the end it hurts all of us.

Venom retaliated by saying that everyone made mistakes and that even the both of us made one when we slept together. She said something like : “In the end everyone cheated, so we're equals and we can start again with a clean state.” She even proposed a threesome.

Honestly, that pissed me off.

Excuse me, lady, in what world is this okay?? I know I didn't handle this situation elegantly (tbh I barged in that like a bull in a chinaware shop) BUT there is no way we're going back to dating.

So I was feeling petty. I undid my glamor cause I knew it would piss her off seeing the love marks, and I stared right into her eyes, saying there is no way we're going back together.

Oh boy, she didn't take that well. Maybe I shouldn't have angered her? But, honestly, I wanted to. I know. I'm a petty monkey. What can I say? She really pissed me off with this and, anyway, angering her a tiny bit more isn't gonna make that much of a difference. Like, you wanna play the game with me? You gotta be ready to be beaten!

So this evolved into a screaming match. She accused me of being a hypocrite. How much it was unfair that I couldn't forgive her when I did the same thing and cheated on her with Six. That made me feel guilty, but I didn't back down. I was kinda glad for the rope cause I swear if she wasn't tied up she was gonna strangle me alive.

Six was the one to separate us. He shut me up with one look, the kinda look parents give their children when they're throwing a tantrum in public, and stopped Venom with a very cold line : “There is nothing to argue about. This is over.”

So Six untied Venom and teleported her away with shadows??? (I didn't know he could do that, for one moment my dense ass truly thought demons were taking her away or something 😭). Annd, like I expected, Venom left with threats of vengeance.

Things were a bit awkward after that. Both Six and I were emotionally tired. But I didn't want to just let him go and never see him again. He's a cool dude. Despite this mess, we really had a great time together. So I told him maybe we could hang out, as friends. And he agrees, but he does add that, for now, he doesn't want anything more than friendship. And I understand.

Boy, dating is tiring.

But I do cling on the “for now” and, who knows, maybe this will lead to dating?

Six left after that and Bud arrived later on in the evening. I decided it was better to explain everything that happened, especially since I didn't part on good terms with Venom. So I sat him down and told him everything.

I think Bud passed through every emotion possible, shock, confusion, disgust (for him dating a spider was a solid no), amusement annnd he burst out laughing when I told him I punched Venom in the face.

He told me it wasn't his intention to cause this mess, and he was just talking about his best friend, somehow the topic briefly went on his encounter with Six, and he didn't pay attention if anyone was listening. I told him to be more careful because I have a lot of enemies and I don't want to cause problems for Six.

All in all, things went… okay? I haven't heard of Venom since then, I'm sure she's plotting something, but Bud is aware of everything and I do think we can take whatever she plans for.

Six and I are still friends. I went on a tour with him recently to make him visit the city and my mountain. Things are mainly okay and now we're laughing about this crazy adventure.

Bud is also helping figure out a number of things. He told me taking tests on the internet is NOT the best way to figure out your sexuality. I wasn't aware of that. And I wasn't aware of all the possibilities and different types of sexuality too. So I'm also taking it slow, trying to figure things out.

Thank you guys for your support, I sent you a lot of monkey hugs.

Who knows maybe I'll turn back to this site again if another crazy thing happens in my life, I do tend to have a pretty intense life, guess that's the package that comes with being a LEGEND!

Monkey King out.

Wait, no, shit, ignore that last part I'm totally not the Monkey King.

[andromachos]

just got the weirdest anon for saying i didnt like happy gilmore

2 notes

⛺golferswantbeer Follow

just say you hate to see a narrative of unconventionally attractive men becoming valuable in classic aesthetically cisheteronormative elite fields. and you claim to be a communist, fucking liberal

0 notes

🐣chucklarryshipper Follow

girls don't want minimum wage girls want fun jokes and a chill hang out with a beer and to control the universe with a click and to organize a fake wedding so we can be each other's trophy husbands with tax benefits

4018 notes

🐱‍🚀c0medyangster 👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒 Follow

i kinda wish adam sandler didn't do so many comedy movies, i want a comedy movie that's just vaguely humourous but has substance, i can't handle jokes constantly being thrown at me

🦂shinel1kead1am0nd Follow

op uncut gems???

🐱‍🚀c0medyangster 👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒👒 Follow

too boring 😕 i want something more positive

5848 notes

😈clicnc-dom Follow

what if i were to hypnotize you so you don't remember me and i made you mine more than 50 times

10 notes

Based on your likes!

🐸laughingboss 🟢🔵Follow

need a hot chick with some banging long skater shorts that can handle a good fart joke

832 notes

🐸laughingboss 🟢🔵Follow

why do all the female sandlerheads dress like adam and not the multiple hot, empowered women he dates? dont they want to be empowered too?

💝dykesandler Follow

keep posting like that you'll see how many sandlergirls will fuck you

1420 notes

💝dykesandler Follow

look at what my butch found in the thrift store. you're not gonna hear from us for like a week lmao 🥴

1369 notes

👻elevatedsandlerhead Follow

i'm not an actual elevated sandlerhead appreciator i just post smut

80 notes

Since you were looking for #hubiehalloween

👻elevatedsandlerhead Follow

His to Control - Hubie x f reader

minors dni 🔞 - Content warnings below:

Read more

593 notes

🐱‍👤c1nephil3 🟢🔵👒👒👒👒👒👒Follow

Grown Ups 2 is a cheap, empty, corporate attempt to resuscitate the glory of Growns Ups (2010). The use of CGI instead of the practical effects awaited dearly by the public are a sign that anyone who enjoyed this movie is clearly not a connoisseur of the essence of the sandlerverse. too many callbacks to the original and what made it great instead of focusing on a real movie, too many forced references to the sandlerverse. characters weren't simpathetic or deep, a cliche of what hollywood expects us to laugh at. comedies should be deep and have your laugh coming from the depths of the abdomen until you're struggling to breathe. instead i struggled to not YAWN. Pathetic sequel, marks the death of cinema.

letterboxd - imdb - rotten tomatoes

8 notes

🍼 softlittlenicky Follow

𝐻𝒾… 𝐼'𝓂 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 𝒩𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓎…. 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝐿𝑒𝑜 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐵𝑒𝒹𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒮𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 🍬 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓈. 𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝒾𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝓈? 🍭

👾fartylicious Follow

pixels, it's a nostalgia feast

🍼 softlittlenicky Follow

𝒾 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓍 𝒿𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈 🍭 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓈𝓈 ��𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 🤢

🦚peeandcock Follow

how did you get through little nicky then

🍼 softlittlenicky Follow

𝒾 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓃𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓎, 𝒾 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝒾𝓂 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓅𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉. 𝒽𝑒'𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒, 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝑒 🥺

42 notes

👹butchverse Follow

now why is he butch here

🧡adamsapphler Follow

would watch jack and jill if this was jack and jill. who said that

3984 notes

Based on your likes!

[beanghostprincess]

What are you most controversial/unpopular OP opinions??? Sorry if it was answered before

You want me to get canceled so bad-- If I speak-- But idk, I guess I'll say the controversial opinions I can say publicly without a bunch of people coming at me!

Zo$an is a bit... Overrated? And by overrated I mean extremely/annoyingly overrated. I like the ship and its canon dynamic but I think at least 80% of the fandom portrays them in a very mischaracterized way. Not to say that... The ship is literally everywhere and the shippers always look for every little thing to prove they're canon, even if the "proof" has literally nothing to do with them. It's not that I don't enjoy the ship (although I must admit I prefer other dynamics a lot more) I just can't stand shippers that go to extremes. It's funny because I think Zo$an's dynamic is way more interesting and romantic in canon than it will ever be in the fandom. It's a bit sad, ngl. I liked them a lot at first but it got so tiring and now I am pretty exhausted from seeing it everywhere. The people force it to be more than it is when the canon is already pretty fucking great.

Adding to the Zo$san thing. I think that relationship would only work if Luffy is there somehow but it wouldn't last a day without him in the relationship. Unless there's like, a ton of character development most of these people don't make them go through.

One Piece Film Z is my worst enemy. It's such a boring movie. The only good thing is the soundtrack and maybe the suits but God watching that was torture.

Boa hate is uhhhh weird. I mean, I get why the joke about her being in love with Luffy might be annoying, but I think most of you need to learn to understand that Oda's sense of humor is sometimes a bit too exaggerated (and not funny) and it has basically nothing to do with the actual canon dynamics between characters. Boa likes Luffy because he's one of the first men who has ever treated her right, so of course she confuses that feeling with love. And of course, yeah, it isn't canon. Whatever. Just read between the lines, maybe? And also, stop using words like "pedo" to describe her because using that term so lightly about 1) a fictional character and 2) somebody who's clearly not a pedo is fucked up. Lmao. Do you even know what that word means???

Once again complaining about Pudding hate and saying that it's stupid. I won't overanalyze because I always do it with her, but the only reason people hate her is for misogynistic reasons and because they're babying Sanji. Evil male characters are okay and hot and very traumatized but the second it's a woman she's the most evilest person ever! Because God forbid they make mistakes! Suddenly their character development isn't valid because they hurt their babygirl!

Now that we're talking about my dearest Pudding. Not tagging anybody of course, but I saw this post with so many interactions of people agreeing about Sanji considering violence as a sign of love which??? Doesn't make sense at all?? OP said it was because he couldn't tell the difference between love/abuse because of his family, but that's just... Not accurate. That could only happen if they had manipulated him into thinking abuse is a type of love, but he had healthy love growing up. Even when he was with the Vinsmokes (Sora and Reiju, I love you). And yet OP said Sanji considered Pudding's behavior flirting (wrong) and that's why he let her attack him (nope) and that it was proof of Zo$an. And okay, it's not a hugely popular theory, but a lot of people agreed with it and it bothered me a lot because it's both out of character and also using Pudding (complex female character) once again to try and prove the canon of a ship (that doesn't have anything to do with WCI either???). It just bothers me. People can perceive the story however they want but... Y'know.

OPLA isn't that good. Or good at all? I only like it because I like the cast and it's funny seeing my blorbos irl. But the script is simple and dull and just stupid most of the time. The characters are either simplified, mischaracterized, or forgotten. And tbh most of the shots are very awful and could be a lot better. The directing is also nonexistent. It's 6/10 and 3 of those points are because both the Zolu and the cast.

Apparently this is a very common theory about Nami's origins, but, uh, I don't think we need to know? What else do you need to know about her? People say she's a lost princess or something like that as if we didn't have a lost princess already (Sanji ily). Repeating the same plot would be boring and underwhelming, but also? It'd be extremely useless for the plot and it'd go against everything about Nami's story and the way Luffy reacts to it.

Luffy isn't canon aroace. In fact, the reasoning people use for him being "coded" is the same Oda uses for Zoro too and Zoro is almost never portrayed as the "idiot who doesn't know what sex is" the way Luffy often is. If you're calling Luffy canon aroace for what Oda said about him being focused on adventures, the same goes for Zoro being focused on his dream. They could be coded arospec but there's nothing confirmed and the constant discourse about it is stupid. Attacking others because of their ships just because you don't agree with them and saying it's wrong using our identity to do it is very fucked up. Especially since most of the time people complaining aren't even aroace. The only reason people do it (attacking others saying they can't ship Luffy and that it's "weird" and "wrong") is that they infantilize Luffy/Don't want him getting in between their ships (<- aroace person writing this) (also, it's very ableist since people agree on Luffy also being neurodivergent coded and treating him like a kid bc of that but this isn't about that now).

Somehow this is very common. Some fucking how. I can't believe I have to say this. I'm tired of people blaming Usopp for what happened in Water 7. Or in general hating Usopp. Actually, he's one of the best-written characters in the whole show and he's so underappreciated it's so frustrating.

Sanji's perv jokes are annoying af and we all know that, but people who hate the character and consider him a red flag for that are missing the point completely. The point being "Oda exaggerates jokes to an annoying extent and most of the time they don't even reflect the character". I understand they can make you uncomfortable (same here tbh) but reducing Sanji to only those jokes is a waste of his character. You need to take jokes less seriously.

If I see one of these "red flag OP boys" TikToks adding Law/Ace/Zoro/Sanji next to fucking Doffy I will riot. Also, stop adding Crocodile there. He's a mafioso, there's NO way he won't be a sweetheart to his lover.

Baron Omatsuri's artstyle and animation is amazing and it fits the plot and aesthetic of the movie perfectly and people saying it's ugly will forever bother me.

"Usopp is suddenly hot after timeskip!" He has always been hot what the fuck are you talking about.

People reduce Nami to her "mean"/"sarcastic" personality a lot when she's quite literally one of the most kind-hearted characters of all. That being said, morally speaking she's probably one of the worst. I could explain how that works but I don't want to do it now, the point is-- Let the girl be sweet instead of making her mean all the time. And also, let her be mean and selfish without making it her entire personality. There's something called "balance".

Film Red was kind of bad. Like, the songs are amazing (thanks, Ado) but the ending is awful and the plot is very meh. I'm only here for Uta and Shanks but the rest of the characters are just useless. I do appreciate Sanji's hair in the movie, though.

[houseofbrat]

Is there actually a #Wales Kid Number Four or is that a metaphor for something else? What am I missing here? I don’t understand. Stephen Colbert jokes on live TV that William knocked up her mistress. Is that it? Does Wales kid number 4 have a different mother? And is that what caused Kate’s nervous breakdown? What wrong decision did William make that he can’t admit to?

As I posted a few things on William's past this weekend, let's remember that William a) has a temper, b) has a big ego, and c) is thin-skinned.

William's reputation as being a "good" king-in-waiting solely rests on statements and pr games his mother played thirty years ago during the War of the Waleses. His cult of fans love him because he was hot twenty years ago; although, some still think he's hot now. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Anyhow, cut to September 2022 when William became the heir to the throne, The Duke of Cornwall, and The Prince of Wales. After that, William no longer had to depend on his father to bankroll him and his office. Before September 2022, William's (& Kate's) office reported up to Clarence House, office of the previous Prince of Wales, Charles.

Since then, William has proceeded to fuck plenty of things up, even though his über fans view everything with rose-colored glasses. Let's review some of those fuckups & weird shit:

There was the fuckup at Boston in 2022 when William issued a statement throwing his godmother under the bus when all he had to say was “This is an issue for Buckingham Palace.” Except he didn’t.

No foreign tours since becoming The Prince & Princess of Wales.

There was the bizarre photo op of Andrew being driven to church by William last August (2023), when everyone with a functional, long-term memory knows that William has never kowtowed to his father.

Kate’s stretch of wearing thirteen pantsuits in a row, ‘cause she was all about “the work.” Somehow, she didn’t go on a crusade about wearing pantsuits when she was only The Duchess of Cambridge.

Announcing Kate had “planned abdominal surgery” the day after said planned abdominal surgery. If it was “planned,” then wouldn’t they have said something at least the day of rather than the day after?

The entire pr fuck up of not having Kate photographed leaving The London Clinic after being discharged, which in turn led to more fuckups.

Then there’s the timeline of fuckery that’s happened from Christmas until 09 March 2024 that I collated before The 2024 Mother’s Day Photo Disaster.

William is an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish.

Due to his natural, control-freak-plus-privacy-fetish state, he fucked up Kate's whole pr when she left the hospital. The entire controversy regarding "Where is Kate?" would never have even happened had he handled it properly.

All he had to do was allow her to be photographed leaving the hospital. She didn't even have to walk out of the hospital. He could have just driven her out the same way he himself was photographed leaving The London Clinic.

Except he didn't do that.

Because he's an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish. Again, his über fans who view everything he does with rose-colored glasses because they're parked up his rectum, will write odes and songs as to how William "protected" Kate's "privacy."

Ah, yes, the same "privacy protecting" moves that have garnered comments like this from the UK press:

“I think the thing we’ve actually seen pretty consistently about Kensington Palace since the Prince of Wales took over as it were, isn’t actually–they aren’t very good at communicating with the public. They had that visit which didn’t go very well. They’re doing whatever’s going on with here. I think clearly there’s a problem.”

“The pr machine that can handle Megxit can surely handle the princess getting surgery, and it has–just as Stephen says–spun out into these wild, wild rumors. Most of which are pretty crazy, ultimately stemming from the fact that something doesn’t feel quite right about this in a story with multiple witnesses and no photos. But, you know, let’s see, maybe, in the next 12 hours some photos do emerge. That would be a fascinating development.”

Note that these two comments recognize the before and after William became the heir to the throne. For some reason, the Kensington Palace press office could handle the shitshow of Megxit in 2020 when they were under the auspices of Clarence House. Except today that is no longer the case.

Because the Kensington Palace of today is the one that helps The Daily Show write their script for the evening.

Because they've become an INTERNATIONAL JOKE!

And it's the current Kensington Palace that picked a fight with the British Army over Kate's picture at The Colonel's Review almost two weeks ago.

Because, again, William is an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish.

William is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, one beer short of a six-pack, one egg short of an omlet, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, etc.

And yes, there is unquestionably more crazy shit coming our way after William goes on vacation for several weeks.

Again.

[gayhenrycreel]

i think people need to stop being so angry about people having genital preferences. its not transphobic to not want to eat cunt.

im a trans man and im only attracted to men with a dick and a flat chest (this includes trans men). i cant help it. its just how i am. its not because i don't see trans men as men or something, im just not into pussy.

stop shaming people for not being into girldick or boypussy.

ive also noticed that a lot of these people shaming others about this are also very... weird about bottom surgery. bottom surgery is just as life saving as top surgery. if you actually look on transbucket you can see that it does look real and its very rare that someone completely loses sensation after bottom surgery.

im not as familiar with vaginoplasty, but it seems that people who fear phalloplasty think that scars are hideous and that the first stage is the only stage. thats not true. scars are just a part of someones body, and phalloplasty has secondary stages, after which the neo penis looks just any other dick. stop looking at photos a few weeks after surgery, look for photos a few years post op. it takes time to heal.

people who fear metoidioplasty just think micropenises are gross. thats it. they also think bottom growth is disgusting.

weirdly, all of these people are trans. i have not seen a single cis person on this site go into trans tags and claim bottom surgery is mutilation. ive seen many trans men do it. (the terfs seem to stick to their own tags).

honestly with all the terfs around here its really fuckin weird.

they also seem to believe that there are 4 genders: men, trans men, women, and trans women. thats clearly not right.

they stereotype trans men (they call them boys regardless of age) as being white, submissive, and never wanting to transition. its very rare i see art of trans men who are not white femboys.

they do the same to trans women- sorry, "trans girlies".

interestingly, they always draw feminine women and men, but never masculine anyone. art of masculine people is always drawn by those who are in the process of transition or butch lesbians.

its the terf kool aid. they think masculinity will make them like their oppressors, so they cant imagine that anyone would ever want to be masculine in any way.

they really seem to think bears are gross too. smells like fatphobia.

theyre also weird about trans people who are... not young twinks? why do they keep drawing us in maid outfits? consistently?

and then theres the fanfics. a while ago i made a post about cis people doing this, but since then ive realized trans people do it too. a lot. i am yet to find a fanfic featuring a trans man who is not a submissive bottom. always with tits. always scrawny. always ALWAYS into having his cervix destroyed.

some trans men are like that and they deserve representation, but its the only representation i see.

also, when you look at these peoples bios, you see that they are either cis women in their 20s, or teenage trans guys.

i think they are so out of touch with real world queerness that they have come to believe the stereotypes chasers have made for us.

and thats why trans tags read like fetish tags.

also, transhet people get thrown under the bus. completely erased. i have never seen a fic depicting a straight trans man- sorry, "pussyboy". sometimes i see one saying noooo, hes bisexual. and then he gets railed by a cis man youd see in hollywood.

and why is every fic about trans people porn? do we exist outside of porn or are we just mpreg fetish fuel? yeah, a lot of its mpreg. and they react to REAL LIFE MEN getting pregnant as some kind of joke. they make suggestive comments, theyre just all sorts of weird and invasive. its gross. those are real people.

it fucking hurts to see other trans people talk about bodies like mine as if we're not real actual humans, just sexual fantasies.

i cant go into ftm tags because theres porn everywhere. and its not bots. its young trans men who think trans men are only defined by pussy.

thats not how it works. we're defined by being men. not all trans men have tits and vaginas. surgery exists. this place is crazy.

on youtube men declare that women and faggots are destroying western civilization for wanting basic autonomy.

on tumblr, everyone, except a select few who stop to think, declare that masculinity is inherently restrictive and oppressive and that testosterone is poison. which republicans on youtube also claim. the difference is that tumblrinas think cis men are included in being poisoned by testosterone.

go back to terf island and grovel at the feet of jkr like you have wet dreams about.

just because youre trans doesnt mean you cant be transphobic.

have you heard of tirfs? trans-inclusive radfems. they believe that trans women are women and must be saved from the evil men, and that trans men are men and so are rapists. terfs love them.

you need to understand that transphobia is not the defining trait of terfs. the defining trait of terfism is the belief that men are disgusting, violent, sex driven, out of control, abusive, and rapists in waiting. ive seen them say that male fetuses should be aborted by law. thats eugenics. ya know, like fascism.

because thats what it is. by my definition, fascism is the belief that certain humans are not worthy of life. terfs think men are not worthy of life, and drag trans people into it.

before you decide that trans men, or whatever fetishy term you call us, are all twinks, think. like, at all. is there a reason you think this way? do you have room in your worldview for hairy trans men? hairy feminine trans men? trans bears? trans men of colour? masculine trans men with long hair?

trans men who have surgery and T shots?

or does that seem too much like... i dunno... body horror to you?

thats how these people react to sex changes. they make comments on photos of phalloplasty scars and say it looks like a horrible burn scar. it looks painful they say. "how do you go out in public?", "why would you put yourself through that?".

if someone had a kidney transplant would you say such things about those scars?

both are life saving surgeries. treat them as such.

stop writing the same smut over and over about a woman who can only have vaginal sex and never be anything other than submissive and breedable and slap the word "cuntboy" on it. has it occurred to you that some trans men would like to read about guys like them? not a bunch of white twink clones? fucking hell, it hard to find twink clone smut where the twink even has a flat chest!

it actually makes a lot of trans guys really dysphoric to have so much attention put on the parts we're born with. not all trans guys, but a lot. honestly the lack of representation makes me feel like i have to use parts of me that i cant even look at. ive seen a lot of other guys express this feeling too.

are we not sexy if we don't have sex a certain way? not getting representation hurts. it feels very isolating. the only kind of people like me who get called sexy are called sexy for things i can not do. (seriously i am physically not able to get anything in my front hole without extreme pain. how do you think trans guys like me who are physically incapable of vaginal sex feel about boypussy fetishism?)

anal sex is a thing. do you think its too gross for your twink clone to try? almost like... its unnatural...?... its dirty...?... its... sinful?

good fuckin job, buckaroo, ya reinvented classic homophobia.

there is no form of consensual sex that is sinful. you're just anti kink! if ya think anal sex is gross wait till ya hear about fisting.

youre all "i wanna turn that femboys prostate into jelly" until you realize it in his ass. so you give that femboy a g-spot instead. it doesn't take much to realize that all holes have something gross that comes outta them, not just ya asshole. i mean, blood and earwax is pretty unpleasant too. youre fine with kissing and vomits definitely gross! (your nose is also connected to the back of your throat so if you french someone youre gonna get nasal cavity mucus on your tongue)

if you think anal sex is gross youre just an 80s homophobe.

think of of it this way: i dont wanna stick my dick in a hole that ejects a buncha blood every month anymore than you want to acknowledge that some people prefer to shove something up their asshole. both are equally gross, and neither of them are actually gross at all unless youve been told its gross your whole life.

stop deciding that (however unconsciously) trans men can only be skinny white young twinks. i have actually yet to met a trans man above the age of 20 who is skinny. the trans guys ive met irl are fat and hairy. its quite obvious that the twink thing is just a stereotype.

seriously, yous are missing out on writing smut about fat hairy men, but youre too scared of being *gasp* not perfect under white cishetpatriarchy, ergo it is incomprehensible that someone would be attracted to that let alone want to be like that.

ever since i watched Jumanji: welcome to the jungle, i have wanted to be a fat middle-aged man. i was genuinely confused that that barbie didn't like it. cant remember her name.

yous are the same people who wanna "fuck that old man" arent ya? the people who are usually grossed out when you see an old man above the age of 30? it seems like the same sorta mentality.

if a cis guy got hairy would you call him disgusting and unattractive? not that ive seen. its reserved for trans guys on T.

tldr; theres nothing wrong with having a preference for certain genitals, those people who say its wrong just think its transphobic because they think not being attracted to someone means you hate them. they just don't realize that some people get bottom surgery and that its not a bad thing. theyve been drinking the terf koolaid

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I've not spoken much here about not really having been enjoying Frieren that much since it started - it was definitely fine I just wasn't connecting with it quite how I hoped to, and were it not for the production I'd be off the ride already. But man I really do have to say that these past three, maybe 4 episodes? The Aura arc I guess you'd say. Has just kinda fucking sucked lol. Already rough from premise alone, let's introduce more human demons and clearly establish them as having culture and intelligence, and then we set them up as wanting to do peace talks or whatever before Frieren starts being super racist towards them and then the show bends over to justify her racism. Like yeah sure the demons are now textually evil so Frieren's in the right but by god painting sympathy towards a persecuted group and then turning around and saying "every member of this group is intrinsically evil" is like irrefutably shitty. Ideally the show would do something with the whole passage of time and winds of change thing and prove Frieren wrong but I'm not here to engage with hypotheticals so who even gives a fuck, what's in front of me is shitty.

But fine, move past that, we really shouldn't but let's do that. Now the entire basis upon which this arc operates is us the viewer knowing Frieren is A) right and B) stronger than God, so we wait for the catharsis of her being proven right and killing Aura. Which is like 4 episodes of setup by the way! And yeah I mean. She does those things. Stark and Fern get some genuinely exciting-to-look-at fights in the middle of this. Frieren confronts Aura at the end of one episode and then it takes 2 episodes to see that followed up on, most of the runtime of the latter episode being a flashback dedicated to teaching us about the fact that... Frieren suppresses her magic so demons underestimate her. Like a fucking shounen protagonist. I don't even wanna engage with this weird recontextualisation of Frieren's character that makes her substantially less interesting, instead I wanna say that Frieren suppressing her magic was established fucking forever ago and Frieren being like 1000 was established forever ago but the ultimate climax of this arc is just her saying those things to the villain and her being shocked but who gives a fuck? We already knew this. I'm not on Aura's side here like I'm not invested in her shock, and Frieren stating those things as if they're anything new to us just feels like a waste. Apparently hiding your power level is despicable for a mage but says who other than demons who I know are textually evil anyway right? For all this we don't even get a cool fight Frieren just tells Aura to kill herself and she does and we move on, that's where our 80 minutes of buildup and Aura's suspenseful prominence in the OP led to. All this arc did was waste my time and be racist man.

I just don't understand the hype whatsoever. What do Frieren fans see in this. Better yet, why aren't they mentioning any of this when selling the show to people. Frieren is a contemplative and nostalgic insight into the life of a near immortal being and an exploration of how her experience with the passage of time changes her and how the people around her react to her, as well as a thematic exploration of the impact we have after death and how people remember us. That's what people will tell you Frieren is. They won't tell you it's a shounen action series where characters suppress their power levels and where the main character gets her skirt flipped up by a kid or they make small dick jokes about a main character. Like do Frieren fans talk about this amongst themselves? Like they've gotta acknowledge it right, there's no way they just don't even talk about what the series actually is. There's no way they're so insecure about liking a fantasy action series that they try prop it up as this commentary on the human condition just to hide the scene where Stark says he looks like he pissed himself. I'll admit this last paragraph is just me being angry at "oh anime fans" and isn't really building off my more legitimate criticisms from the prior paragraphs, but idk man Frieren's just so not what I expected and even though I think I'm doing a good enough job engaging with it on its own level it's still managing to disappoint me. I really am just here for the production whoring at this point. Style over substance to the maximum.

[heyheydidjaknow]

I fucking figured him (Dazai) out I think maybe. Walk with me here; my thoughts may very well change after I finish the anime (and I’m sure none of this is groundbreaking for this fandom) but I’m excited and I’m not tagging shit because I’m not necessarily confident and sold on this stuff yet just like walk with me here, okay?

Okay, so Dazai’s smart, right? He’s inhumanly smart; he pulls shit straight out of his ass, isn’t tricked, is usually right. He knows just about everything that’s going to happen at a given time, can predict things he should be able to predict, has a deep understanding of the human psyche, is well read, is the most expert strategist, etc etc. He’s mentally OP is what I’m saying; it’s total bullshit. And for the longest time (less than a week— I’m getting this stuff way too fast for comfort actually) I had no idea whether Dazai was legitimately suicidal or if it was just a very dark ongoing joke. My current hypothesis is that the reason why he is such an insufferable dipshit loser man is because he knows so much about people and how they behave that he has lost interest in humanity as a whole because humanity is predictable. He has to intellectualize basically everything— seemingly just because that’s how he is inherently— but because he does, life and everything in it is boring and thus miserable in the same way that sitting in a blank room would be boring and miserable. I refuse to use a chess metaphor, but I think his existence is meant to be understood as being as awful to him as spending your entire life writing lines or doing a math worksheet that doesn’t ever end; sure, there are variations in the individual strokes and sometimes you’ll get an interesting set of circumstances that make it slightly less tedious, but there’s nothing of any real substance to latch onto and the novelty wears off almost as soon as it’s set in. His pathological need to fuck with people and lie and get himself into bullshit situations is born from a childishly simple, unrelenting, seemingly torturous boredom because save for limited exceptions, there is zero point in doing anything for any given cause because people are predictable and life is cyclical and why bother trying to put any real effort into building a sandcastle next to an unrelenting sea?

Odasaku, then, is extraordinary not just because he fought against his instinct to disregard human life, but because despite how trivial humanity as a concept is— and even though suffering, especially for him, was clearly inevitable— he still made the effort to try and build a beautiful sandcastle because it was the best thing to do, the thing he could do to bring the most beauty to the world. But Dazai seemingly did not internalize that idea in the same way that Odasaku did; he only internalized it so far as “do good things if you really don’t care either way” (which is about as impactful as far as this whole mess is concerned as saying “maybe try building sandcastles with towers instead of moats”) and hasn’t gotten so far as understanding what the actual point of acting in morally just ways is yet. He’s just as bored as he was before (and just as suicidal and manipulative); he doesn’t have any real reason to care about people as people yet.

I’m sure this isn’t a fresh take or necessarily an accurate take, but we’re starting to get closer. And Chuuya I’ve almost figured out but I’m not sure yet. And the other characters seem pretty straight forward. I can taste that I’m almost there; I just need a little more information.

[colourful-void]

Going Through All the Mastermind Gin Arguments on TVTropes

Only I get progressively more and more ridiculous as the arguments begin to break me.

Incorrect! We see Gin get pulled to the ceiling in Chapter 3 as a result of magnets in the collar. He DOES have a collar.

It *must* be important? Really? There's no way this is a funny gag. None. Come on, you can do better than that. The idea of little kids using adults/older siblings as toys to play with isn't even uncommon, how many gags are there of little girls dressing up their fathers in fancy outfits to play tea party? This doesn't hold weight.

"He's suspicious because he's not suspicious!" That's what this argument boils down to.

?????? What on earth is this trying to argue??? Gin can die in the game so he must be dying for the game? Sara can die in the game too? Most of these deaths are mini game game overs, and you can get gin as a partner often in these. You know who else you can often get as a partner? The other characters who have personal info available.

1: I can't believe "A child didn't talk about going into the next grade while he's in a murder game where he could die" is actually listed as reason why he's secertly an evil mastermind. You know what, you're so close. Maybe the reason Gin doesn't expect to graduate to middle school is because he could die! In this murder game. That he's trapped in. Like everyone else. Come on...

2: That's a joke my guy! That is a joke about attractive men who flirt with a lot of women being referred to as "Lady Killers"! If anything its foreshadowing about Megumi, but it's not an implication on Gin's part unless you're reaching. Midori calls him a lady killer as a reference, and to unsettle the audience by implying he's been watching the whole time.

This is the only one I don't have a solid rebuttal to, I admit. Gin sure does respond with ellipses. Does that mean he's secretly an evil mastermind? I.. still don't see this as being anything to make a case on, but I will concede this one. One point.

before we go any further, I wanna say that Op is in fact trans, alright? okay.

...

Top ten reasons Gin is seceretly evil and killed over a dozen people: he maybe kind of misgendered a guy, possibly we're not sure.

Nope it's just a child playing with a toy. It really could be that simple. I won't rule out that there's something hidden within Mew-chan, but somehow I doubt an entire fucking human head has just been chilling in there for several days and no one has commented on the smell, and it's somehow not leaked any fluids which would stain the plush.

"This 12 year old is: *Procceds to list off autistic traits*! Clearly they're trying to avoid suspicion!"

This is the part of the analysis where I stop and give up.

[toomuchsmoshbrainrot]

I don't mean this rudely, and I don't mean this addressed specifically at you, but it's genuinely such a weird thought to assume Smosh is keeping Noah around for the simple reason of "well, he'll sue! Firing him is discrimination!" when the counterargument is... Noah is a pro-genocide zionist, which in itself would mean HE'S the one discriminating. For most companies, publicly posting hate speech is a fireable offense. Having a conflict of company values is also a fireable offense. Smosh could absolutely have let Noah go IF he was the monster fandom has delighted in making him out to be. You talk about nuance but you completely disregard how that can apply to Noah himself. "But he gloated about his grandfather blah blah blah," this fandom likes to point out. Yeah, in retrospect, not great, but no one (no one!!!!) batted an eye at this when it first aired. No one cared. No one questioned his ethics, no one cared about the implications. No one called him out. No one was outraged.. But now we want to condemn him for it when the context of when he spoke it was so vastly different than if he said it now??? But ALSO. Literally all Noah has ever said on the actual genocide is that he's against it. That he wants a peaceful resolution for BOTH sides. He has literally only ever said he doesn't agree with violence inflicted upon innocent lives regardless of if they're from Israel or Palestine. And I will also add that EVERYTHING he's said, he said in the immediate aftermath of the Oct 7th attack, when it was still pretty globally framed as a terrorist attack. Even THEN he has just said "killing of innocent civilians is bad" and somehow secretly he means "I love genocide" by that. Huh??? Maybe, just maybe, Noah hasn't been fired because the people who work with him KNOW him and know he isn't this evil caricature fandom sure would love for him to be. Because it's sooo much easier to double down and continuously vilify the guy than take a step back and admit, hey, maybe we got this one wrong.

just putting this out there publicly, the op is clearly on anon for a reason because they know they're gonna get read to filth by some of the more intense people in the fandom

but the UNDERLYING part of this message is kind of exactly what I'm saying. that he's never said these things in videos, only on his personal accounts. that smosh clearly still associate with him. if y'all are SO scorched earth, why aren't y'all going after, say... shayne? for still considering him a friend? this is the same fandom that assumed courtney and damien were beefing because "she looked weird at him in videos sometimes". nuance is lost on a lot of people, and i've learned as i've gotten older to just ignore the drama.

no matter where you go, people you don't like are gonna exist. drama is gonna exist. and it's no longer worth my energy.

i don't wanna be seen by the fandom as someone who "supports noah/his opinions" just because i said i liked a joke he made in a video, or enjoy his puns in word games, or whatever. i can separate art from artists and i want to freely enjoy whatever the fuck i want. its the fact that i feel like i have to explain that that's wild to me.

(and when i say "other things that annoy me about him outside of the obvious" i mean like.... charty party video when he got SO HEATED insisting that he was right. or the eat it or yeet it 50's episode with the cold cut dress when chanse asked amanda to turkey slap him, and noah leaned in to do it. and chanse was like "wtf i said AMANDA" and noah backed off but then TOSSED it at chanse anyway like what. consent, my guy. ok that ones a little less serious but its still annoying)

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

if you have not seen discowing era dick… you need to. you may rethink the fashion stance lmao 😂 just imagine kate giving him shit for that, which he of course will defend by going after the Infamous Hip Holes

also while he has been a cop (ugh) dick really just picks a career and magically gets it???? like epitome of a nepo baby, bruce just buys him jobs I am CONVINCED. he’s been a social worker, a museum curator, a cop, he owned a crossfit studio (if you see babs on the yoga mat upstairs in GK, it’s a nod to that!), and depending on canon he has a law degree????

and riffing off of that degree… nightwing vs. daredevil rivalry WHEN. they are parkour badasses. they’re street level heroes who are just regular guys. they have fantastic asses. dick you cannot also have a law degree you CANNOT TAKE MATT’S ONE THING— my running joke is that if dick shows up and he’s better than matt at everything, matt might have a Small Existential Crisis

xoxo dickate anon 🩵💜

oh i KNEW about discowing when i called him a fashion boi. I did not specify it was good fashion. nightwing is that one tiktok. "I don't dress for men, I dress for little girls (children?) who have been told at some point in their lives that this is not a fashion show, and for old women drunk on their porch."

also nepo baby dick is hiLArious considering that I have been thinking all day about how in a separate-universes world, everyone in Kate's world thinks he's a golddigger. The tabloids and gossip mags are so confused??? He's a stay at home boyfriend? He literally doesn't have a job. He basically doesn't even exist. Kate's always saying he's home visiting his family, or traveling. Is he a spy? Does he do crime? He didn't know who Captain America was, he's just a himbo. He absolutely could not be a spy. Dick LOVES this, I feel like. It's much funnier when people think that about him than when they think that about Kate (which is what happens when she goes to his universe)

There's a post from forever ago about someone who's supervisor called their partner "Boytoy" at work, like, exclusively. And the guy knew and was fine with it, but anyway he came in one day and the op went "Mr. Toy, I presume?" and he went "The very one." This is very much Dick and Kate. also somehow he meets Anthony Bourdain, and this is a Good Timeline where he's still alive and Dick winds up traveling with him for a few episodes? That would be a fun dichotomy

Kate turns her back for five seconds and Clint and Dick have gone undercover at a circus. Kate expected this from Clint, but Dick knows better. Which prompts Dick explaining that CLINT is the brains of the operation, not Dick, he's the beauty, and Clint getting mad because HE'S the beauty, and Kate just sighs. Clearly neither of you are the brains.

Dick loves that there are no expectations of him in Kate's universe. It's like a vacation. He gets to be a himbo here. There's absolutely a pic of them on insta that he captioned "this barbie is an Avenger. He's just ken" and he will not HEAR Kate's arguments about how technically by Barbie/Ken rules he is also a Barbie. Dick pouts and is like I AM KENOUGH.

All of this leads to a mostly funny conception the Avengers have of Dick. They know he's Nightwing, he doesn't really need a secret identity here, but they don't...get it. He's bouncy and casual because he's still watching Kate's teams, figuring out how best to support, and he doesn't want to step on Kate's toes by accidentally being Too In Charge. So there's this idea that he really IS a himbo until Kate gets injured or captured. If she gets injured on a mission he's on? Look. It clears things up right away. He will absolutely rip apart whatever faction or organization caused that to happen with his bare hands. And God for-fucking-bid he encounters the actual individual responsible for harming her. I'm not saying someone's getting kicked off of a roof but, someone is moving from the roof to the sidewalk in the most expedient way possible.

This is also funny because it makes very clear how different their preferred fighting styles are, because Kate picked A VERY DEFENSIBLE POSITION, please stop worrying, Dick. And she's right! It is! IF YOUR PREFERRED WEAPON IS RANGED.

Now Dick is standing over his mostly unconscious girlfriend who looks like her face got scraped against the ground (because it did), preparing to defend them from all sides. fucking snipers.

It also leads to a fun moment where Kate can't lead. Eli isn't there, so normally command of the team would slide into Cap's purview (if cap and whoever his second is are down, Avengers command would slide over to Kate) so Cap is getting ready to start giving the YA some orders and Dick, not even THINKING about it, just kind of assumes command of the young Avengers and NONE OF THEM QUESTION IT???? He doesn't lead like Kate. He doesn't give orders like Kate, he doesn't even sound like Kate, with cadence or whatever. But there's something that is just kate like enough that her team is like yep this is correct. (The same thing will happen in reverse with the titans) After that the Avengers stop roasting him behind Kate's back.

Also, THE HIP HOLES. look. We need to admit that Kate, canonically, does not have great taste in her avengering uniform. Why did she choose this look? why is she so attached to it?

Like if Kate has the audacity to genuinely criticize discowing?? If for some reason she's wearing a different costume or they got tossed into Gotham in their civvies, her team will absolutely throw her under the bus in order to get brownie points with the batkids.

You can't talk about the deep vee when you had YOUR ENTIRE ABDOMEN OUT BABE. Nothing! Not even a tissue! The body confidence is great Kate but seriously how did you not die. (he's into the scarf, though)

And if Kate actually wears the hip holes? Dick is poking at her trying to figure out if they're actually holes? Is there mesh there? Is it flesh toned fabric? No?? It's actually holes? This man is going to stick his hand in one just to see because what the fuck, Kate, and Kate's going to be like. Dick. Dickie. Nightwing. Your hand is under my costume. Do you realize where your hand is.

Is THAT what it's for?!?!? Dick is now seeing how far he can get his hand. The small of her back? Her other hip? Their friends are scREAMing. Guys? Could you do this some other time?? Like maybe when we're NOT ON FUCKING PATROL?????

anyway now Dick is wondering how far he can actually get his hand inside her uniform and he WASN'T thinking about it Like That before but he sure is now

[llycaons]

Ep1: wuji still fucking slays

I've watched some parts of this show more often than other parts, but I would estimate this is my...fourth or fifth rewatch, it has been a solid two years

god I forgot how long the op is. unlike netflix, viki doesn't have a 'skip intro' option

SECT LEADERS YAO AND OUYANG APPEAR BEFORE ANY OTHER NAMED CHARACTER BESIDES WWX. SCREAM

read in a joke yaoyang fic once that they did attack each other during that fight but I assumed the fic author made it up

editing is really overwrought, especially in this first ep. far too many fast zooms imo. seems clumsy and juvenile, tho I know a lot of editing on this show is really good. sets and music and (eventual) character work more than make up for it

don't really like this first ep tbh.

subtitles are WAY different than netflix's. I can hardly follow what the characters are saying sometimes

wwx's voice is way deeper than I remember, too

this confused me so bad but it's nice to have a reminder that wwx IS in his og body, but mxy always concealed his face so the mos don't actually know what he looks like and so wwx showing up to replace him doesn't seem weird to them. they must have been very similar in height, build, skin tone, etc. lucky coincidence

wwx looks so handsome in those beige robes gotta say

he mentions that peanuts and wine both don't taste as good as they used to, which is a curious addition that I assume is temporary because he doesn't mention it again. and because he's chugging that emperor's smile later like it's the only solace in this cold harsh world

WUJI!!!! the emotions I felt when it started during the first flashback to lwj....GOD what a fucking good song. all the music in this show is good but wuji is just hitting it out of the park. ACHING yearning. HIGH romance. POWERFUL pathos.

oh shit ding and tong were sweethearts in the book but I forgot they were also in the show, tho only briefly

this was also in the book. they have protective sigils sewn into their robes, which is implied here but I guess I missed it when I watched it the first few times. honestly a lot of this is still quite confusing to me

you know I give lsz a lot of crap for being so boring but it was genuinely very nice to see him be like 'please respect disabled people and be kind to them and believe them when they make accusations against people more powerful than them' bc wwx does a similar thing in the next episode and I feel like it's one of those things that gets swept under the rug amidst the louder themes of the story but besides just being a 'good' and polite boy he genuinely does care about and advocate for people who are denigrated and mistreated by the more powerful figures in their society

is it just me or is this shot kind of horny

wwx's reaction to lwj actually does make sense to me because he's still clearly mooning over him but he also can't trust that lwj will be on his side considering that in the past he kind of wasn't and wwx is probably still a bit paranoid and mistrustful so it makes sense? he's very sad about like. being reminded of him + knowing what he can't have and also is kind of freaked out at the idea of seeing him again

I FORGOT THEIR MONEY IS CHUNKS OF SPRAYPAINTED ROCK AND STARTED LAUGHING OUT LOUD. I LOVE THIS SHOW

EYYYY LITTLE APPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking love little apple bro

THERE HE IS!!!!!!!!!!! RED AND BLACK LEGEND IS BACK!!!!

Personal highlights: ep1

wwx going 'lan zhan' all heartfelt and gutted when playing wuji on the piece of grass

sexy lwj hand shot

the way that money looks