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Ok wait consider. AU where oppy WAS built to placate megatron but has no idea until he gets close enough for certain specific proximity-based protocols to activate

I think about this all the time tbh especially when I watch the first episode of TFA! and I have an alarming amount of Ideas about it. (Rest of the ask under the cut cause it's pretty long; cw for: dubcon/noncon in that oppy never agreed to this and probably would not have, objectification, autobots being Fucked Up, meg taking advantage of oppy's old programming. Stuff like that

My evidence for why oppy might have been Made For Meg is:

1) "do you ever feel like you were programmed for more than repairing space bridges?" Of course you were Optimus. Deep under all that "I want to join the elite guard and defend cybertron" you were forged with full spikesucking lips, an array just big enough to take Megatron's spike, and your incredibly charming bossy/stubborn personality in order to be the Perfect plaything for megatron.

2) "being a hero isn't in your programming, Optimus prime" ultra Magnus was horrified when he learned of "project pacificus" aka some Autobots deciding to throw a poor sentient being at megatron by programming/forging him to be the Perfect partner. He immediately pulled the plug on this project and shoved oppy into the Autobot academy and was quite impressed that the reprogramming worked so well, it doesn't matter this autobot was made to be a plaything, he might even become the next Magnus!—until archa-7. He's gotta look at oppy as not another bright cadet, just an unfortunate bot who probably wanted to please sentinel by taking the fall; after all, he was programmed to please Megatron.

But ummm yes I love that idea of there being proximity-based protocols that still "stick" despite how much was programmed out of oppy; there's only so much that could be done without frying his processor. And it's not like optimus would ever come across Megatron himself, he's been banished and Optimus is only going to safe, decepticon-free space bridges!

Oohh their first meeting would be so interesting.....Optimus suddenly getting new frantic lines of code when Megatron bursts into his ship, his processor torn between fawn and introduce yourself and stop this fragging Decepticon from killing your team and taking the Allspark. I like to think oppy manages to "pull himself together" that time because they're only interacting for a short amount of time and Oppy's fight protocols outweigh this new confusing code.

(or maybe it's just because megatron, totally and completely focused on the Allspark, "rejects" Optimus by not immediately fragging him, which makes the coding quiet down some. But also oppy giving in would be erotic too I lovee their cybertronians modes so much....choices choices)

Perhaps at the end of season 1...when they get physical again, his processor starts slipping, tells him yet again to introduce himself, to please his target.....and maybe megatron finally decides to play with this desperate, pretty little Autobot that he's been hate-watching for months. All meg has to do is coo at Optimus to step forward and be nice and oppy is throwing his axe down, forgetting all about the Allspark, his team's panicked calls over his comms, because this is what's important, he was made for megatron and he can finally make him happy. His panel opens as he steps over so gracefully, nothing like the military march he learned in the academy. In fact, Optimus even sways his hips a bit. his processor goes blank and warm in the best way as he stares into Megatron's optics, has all of his attention on him.

I like to think that since they "covered up" oppys original programming and attraction to Megatron , oppy has just never been interested in anyone else—besides perhaps a vague, muddy desire for ultra Magnus since he has so much in common with meg: old, commanding leader, morally questionable, incredibly big, very strong. So megatron takes his first time, popping his seals as he has oppy lie obediently on the Allspark and give meg his grappling cables to tie him up in. Oppy tries to stutter out his vows to Megatron between lewd moans and wails as he overloads again and again, promising to be the very best companion and to please megatron outside of the berth as well. His chestplates open without megatron having to do anything (and perhaps this is another sick autobot plot; if megatron gets attached enough to his new toy to spark merge with a much smaller and more vulnerable autobot, well, what is the sacrifice of one Autobot to take down the Slagmaker himself?)

Or if it happens in season 2 finale, perhaps the coding wasn't strong enough to completely wipe oppys processor; he had more strange prompts and alerts popping up again, sure, but he had something more important to focus on like stopping meg from destroying the earth with the power of the allspark!

But being in semi-intimate physical contact with meg during A Bridge Too Far (getting held like a bag of chips, or maybe even being used as a human shield, or fighting side by side for 30 seconds before meg used him like a human shield)? That'll do it. Oppy is incredibly grateful for the stasis cuffs because he would die of humiliation if everyone saw his panel pop open because his processor immediately sent the command to his interface array to become active, get ready for something big, and so he just has to suffer the feeling of his valve starting to lubricate, the fact he's now oh-so-sensitive to the feeling of Megatron's big hand gripping his waist and touching his aft....much to his alarm, he's starting to realize that the idea of megatron overtaking cybertron only really bothers him for one reason: Optimus hasn't yet convinced megatron of why he should show mercy to the autobots (which he would do with his valve, of course).

(another semi-relevant shitpost from my tf doc below warning for like objectification? oppy being programmed without his knowledge or consent)

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There's a lot of young soldiers on both sides of the war. Thus making any carrier bot with functioning breasts basically be a last resort weapon of sorts.

In the middle of battle and about to be overwhelmed. Pull your resident medic or elder bot and expose their boobs. Soon the flustered and desperate will drop everything for a change to suckle.

Funnily, despite it being somewhat unethical to force these carriers to reveal themselves, mainly the Autobots do this. Decepticons understand the sensitivity and vulnerability surrounding nursing and breasts in general. Compared to the more community based idea that Autobots developed out of pure survival.

ah, the ancient defense mechanism. roll on your back and show them your titties. if you don’t have nice mommy titties, using an older bot is fine.

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having world building ideas that make literally no sense but i'm thinking about them anyways because they make me insanely horny

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i'm still thinking about fat tfa optimus. need him to get fat so badly it makes me dizzy when i think about it.

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rough sketch for my tfa naga au

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the rescue bots methamphetamine episode

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And yet he still loves them with all his spark 💕

Based off this

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An expected botnapping

The reference is Ratto di Proserpina by Gian Lorenzo Bernini!

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even now megatron still reminisces this “unpleasant” memory

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your most recent fic has me rolling over this TFA concept where like. OP thinks of himself as very plain and unremarkable (even though we, the audience, have eyes and can clearly see he’s hotter than 90% of cybertron’s population) whereas Meg takes one look at him and is like “you look like a fucking blow-up doll. what the fuck. I’m almost offended the autobots would devise such a blatant attempt to seduce me”

AAA thank you so much for reading and enjoying Megatron's Espionage Kink!! I know it's a theory/hc that relies on either 1) oppy not knowing what a mirror is 2) autobots having diabolical standards of conventional attractiveness, but I love the idea of oppy just. not knowing he's a complete and total bombshell. he's basically identical to any other normal Autobot that rolled off the assembly line, sure even fellow autobots joke about his lips a lot, but they're just fucking around and teasing him surely!

But megatron has Optics and he uses them to fully drink in this visage of pure seduction that would only be written about in the most indulgent filthy smutpads, look at his WAIST?! THOSE LEGS?! HIS PLUSH LIPS MADE FOR ORAL?? and though megatron usually jeers at the bright and clashing colors of autobots, he's got to admit the red and blue and silver (and that sinful yellow on his pelvic plating/helm/etc). (I just looked at a pic of cybertronian oppy again and like HIS HIPS HAVE HANDLES??? I've seen amazing posts about TFA meg assuming he stumbled onto a bang bus when he crashed the autobot ship, cause of how sexy the autobots on board are, and this is exactly what makes it so believable)

But like I was saying I really do love meg assuming oppy Was Made To Distract/Placate Him because how else could a bot perfectly to his tastes be travelling around the galaxy? If he wasn't sent to seduce megatron, this walking talking (and fighting, those sleazy autobots really put effort into making this bot appeal) blowup doll would be in the most elite brothel on cybertron.

And I think "canon" tfa meg is too busy trying to retake cybertron and destroy the autobots to stop his evildoing to play with an Autobot, even if they are the hottest bot he's ever laid eyes upon, but I love to imagine that "what if?" what if meg Did pull out the stops to launch a counter-assault (seduce oppy and fuck him stupid).

(bonus semi-relevant shitpost copy pasted from my tf doc under the cut)

Megatron does NOT want to fuck Optimus Prime. It does not matter that this autobot was clearly designed upon Orion Pax, aka the civilian that Megatron has always found most aesthetically pleasing. However, even Orion was a rather conservatively designed bot. Optimus Prime has a large chest and tiny waist and strong arms and long legs and full kissable lips. All of these are further insults, so clearly designed for interface appeal that Megatron must turn his nose up for the sake of his pride. "Do they all think I have no self control? Is this Autobot some sort of peace offering or an attempt to distract me from retaking Cybertron?"

So yes. On some level, Megatron wants to frag that little autobot until he breaks. Fuck the bolts right off his hips. Turn him into a quivering fluid-drenched pile of loosely assembled truck parts. But he is wise and old enough to know that giving in would be a trap, an elaborate trap designed by Autobots who have finally realized that no tactic is too dirty, even if the prudes have to face the unspeakable horror of acknowledging Interfacing Exists.

Whether this is true or not doesn't matter. The f***toy look could simply be what's "in" for Autobots. Look at Bee and Bulkhead & Sentinel and Elita-1.

Optimus has no idea about Megatron's cute little theory and would strip him down for spare parts starting with his spike if he was ever to voice it to him. It would get Optimus charged up, Megatron admitting he considers Optimus so attractive that it must be an autobot plot, but he can and will ignore that too.

Because Optimus Prime does NOT want to fuck Megatron either. This is just Primus's way of punishing him for harmless private 'facing fantasies half a million years ago. It's a bit overboard as a punishment, however. Optimus wasn't even thinking about that stupid giant ancient evil leader of the Decepticons, just imagining a generic "kind of sweet and romantic in a brusque war frame way" faceless Decepticon soldier above him. Megatron? For all his great manipulation skills and that platinum glossa, the mech couldn't charm the panel off a desperate and overcharged speedster in heat.

There is No romance in the giant servos that almost choked Optimus offline and held him around the waist with ease and wrapped him up in his own grapplers. And those tastes of brutality and being overpowered do NOT excite Optimus even more.

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man, tfa megatron is so much older than optimus.... i think optimus should be his scandalously young girlfriend.

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Group jerkoff sessions for Decepticons except that they're each using a bound tiny Autobot as fleshlights

happened in tfa season 4

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Been reading your fics, love your work. I wanted to ask: Ik the headcanon of “autobots are incredibly repressed about all things sex and romance related whereas decepticons are very open about sex and sexuality and have no qualms about privacy” is a very common TFA headcanon, but have you considered the (kinda) reverse of “the autobots, being extremely militant, see casual interface as a normal and essential bonding exercise to maintain localities whereas decepticons assign it more significance” In other words there’s an autobot-decepticon temporary truce and OP goes UGH FINE and pops his panels at the meeting expecting the most mid spike of his career and Meg takes that as a marriage proposal

THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!! Im really happy you enjoy reading my silly stuff haha... That headcanon is SO good and would be even funnier w megop, I can just imagine theyve finished a long meeting and oppy, feeling charged up and frustrated and sensing meg is also charged up and interested in him, proposes they have a quick defrag session.

Meg thinks they're taking this huge step forward, that his courting (how far he's gone is debatable ; maybe he's giving oppy datapads/food he thinks he'll like , maybe he's doing things that are extremely obvious and romantic in Decepticon culture) is finally working even though Optimus is clearly moving fast, to go straight to interfacing, the deepest physical bond, to tie them together.

Now I kinda can see two ways, one which is obviously funny and one a little more serious:

Meg and oppy have amazing sex, which oppy was not expecting at all. Instead of one fast round where meg plows him uncaringly and oppy has to work to get himself off, meg takes his time. He starts off eating oppy out, not stopping until oppy has painted his faceplate with squirt. Then he puts oppy on the bed and spikes him so good he thinks he saw Primus for a moment, all the while moaning out this praise and worship of oppy, promising they'll belong to each other forever (which oppy writes off as dirty talk. Extremely hot dirty talk, but still).

The next morning oppy gets out of bed in a scramble to make himself look decent for their next meeting, meg rolls over in the berth to watch him with his big infatuated red optics.

And meg is like "what are we" oppy snaps back "we're gonna be late if you don't get your huge aft out of bed"

And then for a more serious situation, I can see them beginning to frag and meg pops his chestplates open to offer his spark to oppy, and oppy is like WOAH WOAH what are you doing?!?! maybe even reaching up to try to close his chest, cause why is meg bringing out his spark for a quick defrag?!? And meg gives him this hurt confused look, that doesn't look right on such a handsome face usually twisted into a smirk or scowl, and asks what he's doing wrong, they're supposed to bond in both frame and spark to prove eternal allegiance with each other.

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au where megatron made a happy wife out ofo him ajasallllll--.ô

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Now I can really start Posting with a pure and clean heart (will be posting incredibly impure things)

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hii tumblr!! i know i don't post on here very often but . i will try more & be reblogging tons of porn. i am incredibly "fiction is not reality" so a lot of what i post is gonna be jacked in one way or another, and I like to make suicide jokes. A lot .

And I am unapologetic incredibly annoying and Very Gross about wanting to turn tfa oppy inside out, this bingo except a few squares is my sick ideal for tfa mop . And I write about fictional characters having sex w their fictional moms BUT LIKE I SAID.... ALL FICTION.

Please feel totally comfortable blocking me and if I block you ...it's probably cause I saw proship dni in your bio ....but peace and love on planet mop, there are many beautiful normal blogs out there for you !

(if you got this far my real pinned post is here)

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