#“and then one of them got abducted by aliens and it was a whole thing

[cowardlybean]

Reigen has to be blacklisted from at least one rental car service by now

[theemporium]

[1.6k] in which a flower bouquet arrives at your door that certainly wasn't sent by your boyfriend. (based off this request)

series masterlist

.

In your defence, you had nothing to do with the prank. 

It had taken a while for Luke to come around to the idea of you and Quinn being together. He loved you both, wanted nothing more than two of his favourite people in the world to be happy. But it still took some time to get used to the shift in relationships considering almost a year ago the two of you barely spoke. 

But all things considered, he was doing much better than you expected—except for one thing. 

Luke had deemed it necessary that his brother proved himself worthy of dating his best friend. 

You thought he was joking. Quinn thought he was being dramatic. And Jack thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard, meaning he totally enabled his younger brother into taking the whole thing seriously. 

You had expected Luke to give his oldest brother a shovel talk. Maybe threaten him a little. Maybe even whine about it a little longer, because honestly he got over that phase a lot quicker than you expected. 

You hadn’t expected a series of trials to be set up for your boyfriend.

It started off with random questions thrown at Quinn at the most unsuspecting times, ways for Luke to see if his older brother really knew you. He asked about your favourite colour, your favourite snacks, what you liked when you were sad and so many more simple questions that had Quinn rolling his eyes as he answered. 

Then, it escalated to throwing random scenarios. Like what Quinn would do if you were stranded and he was halfway across the country. Or what Quinn would do if you had been abducted by aliens and returned with no memory of him. Or what Quinn would do if you decided to become a diehard Leafs fan.

It was annoying for Quinn, but ultimately it was harmless. 

You hadn’t realised there was another test. You hadn’t realised you inspired it when you were on the phone with Luke a couple of weeks ago. 

It became a staple in your relationship for Quinn to send you a bouquet of flowers. It was his little way of showing he cared, of showing that distance wasn’t going to get in between him showing his love for you. It was sweet and it made your heart swoon and he fucking adored the way you always called him as soon as they arrived, sharing your reaction to his chosen bouquet each time.

So, in all honesty, it was no shock to you when a bouquet had been delivered to your door that morning. You hadn’t bothered to look for a note because you knew who it was from, you knew that Quinn would probably walk out of your room and see the flowers and throw some stupid, cheesy line at you that had your body flushing. 

“What the fuck?”

It never occurred to you that Quinn was never the one who sent them. 

He stumbled out of your room around thirty minutes after you initially woke up, his eyes still tired and bleary from sleep. He was dragging his feet along the floor as he walked, a pair of sweatpants halfheartedly thrown on as he went off to find you and try to drag you back to bed. After all, it wasn’t often he got the chance to visit you during the season. Spending that limited time together in bed sounded ideal to him. 

However, his body was wide fucking awake the second he walked into the kitchen and saw an unfamiliar bouquet of flowers sat on the counter.

You turned to look at him, your smile waning a little when you noticed his pissed off expression. “Jesus, I know you’re bad before coffee in the mornings but I’ve never seen you this grumpy.” 

Quinn ignored the jab, nodding towards the flowers. “Who sent you those?” 

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What? You did?”

Quinn frowned as he turned to look at you. “No, I didn’t. I chose tulips. Those aren’t tulips.” 

You shot him a blank look, very well aware the huge bouquet of red roses were not tulips. 

“Maybe you forgot what you chose,” you told him with a shrug, taking a step towards him so you could wind your arms around his waist. You felt him lean into the embrace, wrapping one arm around you as the other reached towards the flowers. “You can’t remember what you’ve chosen every single time.”

“I do,” Quinn said bluntly like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Of course he remembered which flowers he sent you. The boy spent more time than he cared to admit choosing a bouquet, trying to imagine which ones you’d like the most. 

“Oh,” you murmured, but there was a cheesy grin making its way on your face as you placed a quick peck to his collarbone. “Petey was right, you’re such a sap.”

“I still don’t know how I feel about this newfound friendship between you and Petey,” Quinn grumbled when he noticed a note tucked between the stems of the flowers. He reached for it, a frown on his face as his eyes glanced over the note. “Who’s George?” 

You blinked, pulling your head back. “I don’t know a George.” 

Quinn’s expression darkened. “Well, some creep called George knows you and is now sending you flowers.” 

“What?” You grumbled as you reached for the note.

pretty flowers for a pretty girl  –george xx

You blinked. “What the fuck?”

Quinn’s eyes narrowed at the bouquet of flowers, his arm tightening around you like he was proving a point. “They are a terrible set of roses anyways. Red is so tacky. What the fuck does George think it is, Valentine’s Day? He has shitty taste.” 

“I—” You turned to your boyfriend. “Some random guy has my address and is sending me shit, and your priority is his taste in bouquets?” 

“I’m just saying,” Quinn grumbled with a shrug of his shoulders. “He isn’t gonna win you over with some measly roses.” 

You shook your head in response. “Babe, you are—” 

RING! RING! RING!

The two of you froze for a short moment, glancing at each other as your phone’s ringing continued to echo through your small kitchen. There was a moment of hesitation before Quinn reached for it, shoulders tensed like he was expecting to see some unknown number on your screen.

His body visibly relaxed when he saw it was a facetime call from Luke.

He handed you the phone, settling in behind you with his arms still wound around you like he was unwilling to let go of you anytime soon. He hooked his chin on your shoulder, leaning his head against yours as you answered the call.

“Oh. Ew.” 

You rolled your eyes but smiled fondly at your best friend. “Is there a reason you’re calling me before ten? I’m surprised you’re even awake right now.”

“Just wanted to check in,” Luke said, his eyes narrowed like he was analysing something. “Hm. You look quite calm there, Quinn.”

Quinn startled a little, lifting his head. “Did you expect me not to be calm when you called?” 

“I was hoping you’d be in some caveman-ish jealous fit of rage. I had the boys on standby to make sure you didn’t tear the college down.” 

You blinked in confusion. 

“Are you George?” Quinn asked, frowning at his youngest brother’s grinning face.

“No, Quinn, my name is Luke.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re a little shit.” 

“What the hell, Luke?” You asked, sighing deeply at whatever your best friend was about to say. You already knew whatever the reason was—most likely encouraged by Jack, again—was going to be too much for your brain to handle this early in the morning. 

“What? I told you I was testing him!” Luke said, like it was the only defence he needed. “The note was hidden in the flowers to make sure he would go looking for it! I wanted to make sure he was putting in the effort with you, if he actually cared about the weird flower thing or if he would just pretend like it was fine.” 

You blinked. “You’re insane,” you said eventually, pausing for a short moment before you continued. “And it’s not a weird flower thing.” 

“I’m going to kill you when I next see you,” Quinn said, glaring at his little brother who looked far too smug for his own good. “And I’m going to shove these roses so far—”

“Talk to you later, bye!” 

You sighed, shaking your head as you let out a breathless laugh. You turned your head, finding Quinn still frowning and glowering, and gently turned his face so you could kiss him. “He’ll get tired of these tests eventually.” 

“Will he though?” Quinn muttered against your lips, his nose brushing against yours. “I swear his next test will be to tattoo your name across my forehead.”

You snorted. “If you do that, I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s rude,” he mused and, for the first time since he woke up, a hint of a smile was tugging on his lips. “What if I do it on my own accord? Maybe I just want to prove my love for you, baby.”

“I like your pretty face. I’d rather not be staring at my own name whenever I look at it,” you retorted, watching as a full smile spread across his face as he leaned down to kiss you again. 

“Cute,” he murmured before he pulled back completely, a determined glint in his eyes that you knew well. “C’mon, get ready.” 

Your brows furrowed. “What? Where are we going?”

“To burn those flowers and then grab breakfast,” he answered simply.

“Quinn—”

“I refuse to look at them any longer, babe, they are atrocious.”

“You’re so dramatic.” 

“It’s a Hughes thing.”

.

[mod-kyoko]

Hello! Hope you’re having a good day/night. Could I please request Nagito x gn reader that was helping take care of him during the whole despair disease outbreak, and whenever Nagito said ‘I hate you’ the reader would just respond with something along the lines of “Love you too, Komaeda.” Could be headcanons, oneshot, or whatever. Whichever you’d prefer.

Sorry if this sounds weird, I don’t usually make requests lol. Thanks in advance!!

taking care of despair diseased nagito

type: in killing game, hc format, established relationship

a/n: anon it's so crazy i was literally just playing chapter 3 of dra2 and was at the part when they get the disease

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

you noticed right away that something was wrong with nagito

every word that came out of his mouth was a lie

it was almost like he couldn't speak the truth at all

when hajime felt his forehead and noticed that nagito was burning up, you knew that was the reason behind his behavior

monokuma popped up soon after, confirming that nagito was indeed afflicted by the lying disease

still, you didn't understand why some disease would cause nagito to say things like nothing is real, everyone is fake, and everyone is out to get him

but it was impossible to reason with him, especially because not long after he passed out, crumpling to the floor

you lunged forward, grabbing onto him to soften his fall, and pulled him onto your lap

"mikan! we need to get him to the hospital!" you yelled, while everyone else stood by in shock

the nurse helped you carry nagito all the way to the hospital on the third island, where you laid him in a bed

"u- um, we need to get him out of his clothes and into a gown," mikan said

"i got it, go help ibuki and akane," you replied, so she left it to you

nagito regained consciousness while you were slipping his shirt over his head

"ah! what are you doing to me? ah, are you planning to abduct me and take me to your home planet?"

you would have laughed at the silliness of the question if he wasn't in such dire condition. instead, you replied patiently

"i'm not an alien, nagito" you reached for his pants to slide them down his legs, but he swats your hand away

"i don't... want..." he was struggling to finish his sentence without panting from the fever

"i know, i'm sorry. but i need to get you into a gown. would you rather have mikan do it?"

"yes, i would much prefer mikan do it," he rambled, staring at the wall

your heart fluttered a little bit, knowing he meant the opposite of what he said. but this wasn't the time to be flustered

after wrestling with your boyfriend a little bit, you finally got his pants off, and draped the gown around his shoulders

once you tied it, you let him lay back down on the bed, and he closed his eyes

at this point there wasn't anything else you can do, with no medic knowledge, so you decided to just comfort him through it

you reached out to pat his head, smoothing down his hair

he reacted weakly, shaking his head as if to shoo away your hand

"get your filthy hand off me," he snarled

by now you were starting to translate his words in your head

"go away (please stay)"

"stop touching me (don't stop)"

with one hand running through his hair, your other laced your fingers in his, watching as he shifted between a state of being awake and being unconscious

"i... hate you" he spat, beads of sweat collecting at his temple

"i love you too, nagito" you smiled, gently squeezing his hand

"i seriously... hate you... go away."

"i'm here, you're okay. i won't leave you."

"i don't want you here! go away!"

his eyes were watering, and you didn't know if he was crying because he was in pain or angry, so you reached out and wiped the tears away

"i want to be here, i won't leave you, i promise."

you could have sworn you felt him squeeze your hand back once before he slipped back into sleep

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

[buttl0rd]

I'm watching like a hawk for that new kid 🤲 THE BABY

ALRIGHT HERE HE IS!! lemme introduce you to the new kid 👉👉

this is carroway - he's the best 😎👽

this is gonna be a long post cause i have so much art and content to gush about. i love this kid 👇

Some fun character details:

he was originally supposed to be like the 90's movie tough bully kid but he's ended up just being a stupid asshole. he probably likes to think he's really cool and tough 💪

has 3 younger sisters, hates being outnumbered by girls

huge foodie and finishes whatever you don't eat. not fussy at all

always leaving his mittens outside. they get all wet and gross in the snow

affectionately ripping on everyone he loves. he's a total asshole but most people know he doesn't mean half the shit he says. the real ones tolerate him 😔🤙

he doesn’t know he’s bisexual (don’t tell him, he’ll find out on his own)

Hobbies & Interests

Aliens. Carroway is a firm believer in alien life and has an immense interest in UFO sightings, alien communication and all things outer-space. He often brags to his classmates that he has been abducted and probed, and is friends with the Martians that visit South Park sometimes (do any of them believe him?). He has a telescope that he set up in his friend Dante’s treehouse which he uses to spot UFOs in the night.

FUN FACT: His probe is linked with Cartman's. It's the connection that makes it possible for OCs to exist in the same universe as canon characters.

Drums. He has a drum set in his garage on which he practices every day after school. He has exceptional rhythm and is very talented. He keeps drumsticks in his backpack just in case he encounters a drumset or anything he can make a beat with (tables, benches, trashcans, etc.) Neighbors complain to his parents about the noise, so his garage is sound-proofed to the best of Mr. Carroway’s ability. 

Snowboarding. Carroway goes snowboarding every few weeks. His family do snowboarding trips and he LOVES it. He also skateboards and rides his bike when he’s not up in the mountains, kid just likes to go fast. He dreams of being a professional snowboarder when he’s older.

TFBW: Boarderline

Boarder is a special flying support unit, part of Coon & Friends. He delivers high-impact quick attacks with his hoverboard and can heal/cure status conditions with his awesome space beams. As a speedster he utilizes the whole battlefield and is constantly moving, making him difficult to hit.

Origins:

He was a human that got abducted and genetically modified by Martians to serve and protect the alien race. After battling in many galactic wars he returned to his home in Colorado. His abilities were noticed by the superhero organization, Coon & Friends and Boarder was recruited to join their alliance. He provides support to Coon & Friends in battle.

Design:

Inspired by the gear he wears when he goes snowboarding.

His superhero costume consists of a white bodysuit with black tape accents and a big old metal zip. There's reflective blue strips on the gloves, boots and around the edge of his signature spaceboard. He's got these iconic space goggles that protect his face when he’s flying at the speed of light.

His name is a play on words - board (from his hoverboard) and borderline (being only just good enough for Coon & Friends). Allies call him Boarder for short.

SOT: Skullrogue

Skullrogue is Carroway’s Stick of Truth character.

He is a rogue-class unit and is quick and sneaky on the battlefield. He has a long black hooded cloak and a skull mask. His main weapon is a pair of daggers that are enchanted with flame magic. He cannot use magic himself but he is proficient with weapons, especially the daggers. He throws them and uses them to stab enemies in the back.

Skullrogue has an undisclosed edgy backstory, like any rogue player. He is mysterious and broody and so cool. He is loyal to the Wizard King and thinks Princess Kenny is hot.

Post-COVID

As a young adult, Carroway becomes a professional snowboarder and competes nationally in competitions. He becomes famous and earns a lot of money from his career, travelling the world for competitions. He makes it all the way to the Winter Olympics, representing the USA in the snowboarding category

After a career-ending injury in his mid-30's, he had to retire from snowboarding early and now lives off his sponsors and used-to-be-a-big-shot money. Despite being wealthy, he moved back to South Park and lives in a trailer (it’s easier than having a huge house). 

He sometimes needs a walking aid to get around and is medicated for chronic back pain.

He was too busy with his career to find love when he was younger, so he stays single and lonely in his 40s. He still goes out and does sport events, commentaries and sponsorships - he remains famous even though he cannot compete anymore. He’s like a living legend in the winter sports community. 

I'm still working on a PCOV design for him so stay tuned for that...

Anyway that's it for now!! I hope you love him 😘

[gunpowder-gemini]

Hi I have many many thoughts on Dandadan and where specific characters are going in the story, so incoming ramble posts lol. I've got thoughts on Okarun, Turbo Granny and Kinta specifically.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA THROUGH CH. 175

First up: Okarun!

So obviously he's lost his turbo granny powers bc he's a good boy who keeps promises, but him having yokai curse powers is like, half the concept of the manga right? (The other half being Momo getting powers due to alien abduction). So clearly, he's gonna get them back because we can't just have one of our two main characters permanently sidelined. The question is just HOW.

I'm pretty sure Turbo Granny is gonna come back, she's a major supporting character and she had a whole little montage panel of Reasons To Stay despite her saying she has none but I'll get into that in a different post lol. HOWEVER! I don't think she's gonna give Okarun her powers again. I mean, they're HERS. And she just spent all that time getting them back why would she give them away again? So Okarun can fight? She can use her powers way better than he can, so if they're needed SHE'LL use them.

I think Okarun is gonna develop his own spiritual powers like Momo's.

In the recent chapters it's gone out of the way to highlight how ridiculously fit Okarun is now. Like, SUPER fit. Most obviously in the fitness tests, where he blew everyone out of the water:

But also in the fight against the pygmies he easily kept up with Aira, who was in her yokai form at the time.

Which I mean, it makes sense that he got fit - he's been fighting for his life as an after-school hobby lol. Obviously continually training to handle Turbo Granny's powers AND fighting things would result in him getting incredibly fit. But they've like REALLY emphasized it these past few chapters. It feels like they're really calling attention to it, you know?

But that in and of itself isn't the real reason I suspect he's got his own spiritual powers. It's actually because he can enter Empty Space.

So per the Serpoians, Empty Space is something aliens create that only pulls in humans with high spiritual power so the aliens can capture and study them. It's why once Aira got her acro silky powers she could enter Empty Space.

Okarun's high spiritual power wasn't his, it was Turbo Granny's. He was able to enter Empty Space because he had her power, but without it he's just a normal kid. So once he gave it back he should be unable to enter Empty Space. And yet:

He's gets pulled into Empty Space to fight the pygmies. He himself calls that out as strange! He shouldn't be able to! He doesn't have Granny's power! But there he is! So he must still have high spiritual power!

I think he spent such a long time with Turbo Granny's full power inside him, utilizing it so frequently, that it changed him. Either it awakened latent spiritual power within him or left behind an imprint of itself, I'm not sure lol. But I think he's developed his own version of Turbo Granny's power. I think it'll be a bit different from her, but still similar (I don't think they're gonna give him a completely different power ya know?). I suspect it'll come with a cool form change to his yokai form, like a costume upgrade lmao.

Furthermore, I think this happened because of the Danmanra arc. During that arc, in the final fight against the Fairy-Tale card, Okarun went all out three times.

He's never been able to do that - it's been kinda implied it would kill him. But through the ~power of love~ he managed to pull it off, and I think it is going to have an effect/consequences. I think this moment here changed him in some way, and it might be the catalyst for him developing his own version of Turbo Granny's powers.

Further to that point is Count Saint-Germain. He cornered Okarun, got him to yield and clearly intended to take his powers, but didn't.

I suspect it's because he wanted Turbo Granny's powers, but Okarun no longer has them. I think he either doesn't know Okarun has his own powers, or he does know and is waiting for Okarun to properly awaken them before he takes them. I'm like 90% sure the Empty Space in the pygmy fight was caused by him. Empty Space is pretty clearly outlined to be an Alien Thing and while the pygmies are spirits/yokai/whatever, Count Saint-Germain is probably an alien given his affiliation with the Kur. AND he was the one who gave Keiko the knife and the mission to steal Momo's power. Since Okarun got pulled into that Empty Space, if pretty boy here didn't know Okarun has some hidden spiritual power, he sure does now.

Either way, Okarun yielding to him here is definitely a Chekov's gun that's gotta fire at some point, and I've got theories on that but I'm gonna save them for my post on Turbo Granny lol.

Anyway TLDR; I think Okarun has his own superpowers like Momo now and we're gonna see them awaken in this arc.

Thanks for reading!

[rawrsatthetree]

I think the best way to tackle a Modern AU for BG3 isn’t to make it a slice of life but to some how combine the elements of a collage drama, organized crime, a dooms day cult, and an alien invasion all into one coherent plot.

I do not know how to do this but I do have some ideas. All the characters have no reason to associate with each other until they’re all abducted by aliens, wormed, and released back into the wild like a bird that just got tagged. Everyone kind of writes it off as either a bad trip or a dream until the cross paths and the worm does the connection thing. Eventually bringing them all together with a few people investigating the invasion to get to the bottom of what’s happening.

Wyll is a pre law student mostly against his will to appease his dad. He wants to help people but doesn’t necessarily want to be a cop like his father the chief of police. He half asses his classes because he doesn’t have much passion for them, blowing them off to volunteer in clubs and community outreach programs. I think Mizora should be either a professor, Dean of students, or academic advisor. In exchange for favors she alters his grades pushes him through the system. Little does he know she’s also idk involved with a crime organization and her favors go from small and perverted to slowly becoming more dangerous and criminal. He’s young and she has a lot of power over his future and could even expose him as a fraud and an accomplice to his father so he feel helpless to defy her.

Astarion is a law school drop out but that’s old news. You’ll find him prowling the local bar and club scene looking for potential clients. After a string of bad luck and poor life choices he’s a prostitute and drug dealer for a local gangster in the Black Hand gang only known as The Vampire (I know I’m so creative). Cazador’s deal is still the pretty much the same local rich public figure is secretly a very cruel and evil man who uses fear and addiction to control his underlings.

Karlach worked as muscle for the leader of the Black Hand gang before she was forcibly sold and enlisted as a mercenary over seas. After a ten years fighting in foreign years she’s back and ready to get her revenge on the whole Black Hand cult unfortunately she has to do it quickly because (ok idk I tried doing some research and couldn’t find any condition caused by an injury that can suddenly become fatal idk maybe cancer from a bullet or shrapnel)

Gale isn’t a professor but like a doctorate student on a tenure track, but bordering on the mad science kind of research. He’s in an abusive relationship with his over seeing faculty Mystra. Ultimately a lab accident during his research leads to the orb.

I think Lae’zel should still be an alien. She was abducted on another planet and escaped while the earthlings were being tadpoled. Now she’s stranded and tadpoled on a strange planet.

Halsin is a university professor and a local environmental activist. He’s been investigating strange occurrences and is onto the alien invasion thing.

I’m honestly not sure about Shadowheart. She should definitely be college age. But I’m not sure how to approach the shar thing.

Not sure about Minthara either except maybe military turned death cult member.

Jaheira and Minsc are cops investigating the alien invasion I’m so sorry not like real world cops but like fun fictional cops that only exist in movies. Boo is their police dog. OMG wait no they’re Park Rangers!!

Other stuff

The dead three chosen are instead three gang leaders. Except Bhaal cult also doubles as a murder cult still on top of being a criminal organization.

The alien invasion is still the mind flayer grand design.

I don’t think the dead three are controlling the mind flayers this time. Instead they’re using the strange alien invasion occurrences as grounds to start a dooms day cult or maybe they are idk

[wonbriiize]

pairing; wonbin x reader

genre; fluff, friends to lovers

warnings; a bit of cursing, mentions of blood + a few other (small) horror related things

note; it‘s a bit long again i‘m sorry ㅠㅠ i think i just have a habit of writing a lot lmao,, anyway thank you guys already for taking the time to read this <3

for you

in which you go to the amusement park with your friends and you decide to go into the haunted house as pairs. although one of your friends (wonbin) is scared of it, he pulls himself together because he doesn’t want you to go with anyone else…

“come on, it’s going to be so much fun. let’s go in pairs of two!” you suggest excitedly.

“then i‘m going to go with sohee,” seunghan puts his arm around his best friend who nods in agreement. shotaro and sungchan look at each other, already declaring that they’re the second pair. “i really don’t want to go with anton,” eunsok rolls his eyes in annoyance. anton laughs, knowing that eunsok is just joking. they love teasing each other. “oh, stop lying, there’s no one else you’d rather go with than me.” “well, if that thought makes you sleep at night..” eunsok can’t help but to smile.

you look over to wonbin who looks like he would rather jump off a cliff then to go inside the haunted house. shit, you had forgotten that he’s afraid of those things.

“wonbin, you probably don’t want to go, right?” sungchan asks him. everybody knows that wonbin is scared of horror related things.

wonbin shakes his head. “not really. i will just wait outside.”

“then who’s going to go with *y/n*?” shotaro looks over to you, feeling sorry since you don’t have a partner.

“i love haunted houses so i don’t mind going twice,” anton says, smiling over to you. “wouldn’t it be too boring for you the second time?” it was a very nice thought of anton but you don’t want him to feel like he’s wasting his time. anton shrugs. “no, it’s fine. i’ll keep myself entertained with laughing at you for being scared.” “this won’t happen, i don’t get scared easily,” you stick your tongue out to anton and he laughs.

throughout your whole conversation with anton, wonbin kept watching the two of you. he isn’t going to let that happen. if anyone should go with you, it should be him. he decides that his love for you is bigger than his fear of haunted houses.

“i changed my mind, i will go with *y/n*,” wonbin announces, stepping forward.

it’s an understatement to say that everyone was shocked. no, everyone was more than just shocked. sungchan almost chokes on the juice he is drinking right now. “park wonbin is this really you?”

wonbin looks confused with everyone’s reactions. “okay, it’s no biggie, you all can stop acting like this.” “i think this isn’t wonbin, he probably got abducted by aliens and this is just a clone or something,” seunghan actually looks terrified. wonbin smacks his head lightly. “oh, get a grip! so are we doing this or not?”

everyone was still pretty shocked, but you guys nod and start walking to the haunted house.

pair after pair, all of you go inside. first it was seunghan and sohee‘s turn. when they walk out of it, seunghan was laughing but sohee seriously looks like he has seen real ghosts inside. it is the same with shotaro and sungchan. sungchan has the biggest smile on his face but shotaro keeps clinging onto him because he is actually afraid.

after eunseok and anton come out, wonbin and you get ready to go inside.

eunsok and anton both don’t look that bothered so it gives you a good feeling that you won’t be that scared either (you have the same horror tolerance as the two of them). wonbin on the other hand is trying to control himself so no one sees how scared he already is.

“you know some of them run after you with fake knives,” eunseok whispers once we walk past them.

“are you serious?” wonbins eyes look like they might fall out.

eunseok doesn’t reply anything, he just winks and leaves wonbin and you alone in front of the haunted house.

you take a look at wonbin and notice how he’s trying his best to look calm, but he’s failing miserably. his expression is exposing that he’s afraid.

when wonbin feels you intertwining your arms together, he instantly feels at ease. you notice that, which makes you smile.

“ready?”

“no, but let’s go,” wonbin takes one last deep breath and you two start walking into the haunted house.

it’s so dark you guys can barely see anything. there’s something hanging down from the roof, it looks like a spiderweb. all of sudden, you feel something on your head and you scream, scaring wonbin as well. he starts screaming with you.

“WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING??”

“THERE IS SOMETHING ON MY HEAD TAKE IT AWAY!!”

you stop screaming when wonbin pulls you closer. he looks over your head. “there is nothing.” “i swear i felt something.”“well whatever it was, it’s gone now,” wonbin steps back but you notice that he’s holding your hand. trying to play it cool, you clear your throat. “okay let’s move on.”

both of you walk, hand in hand, further into the haunted house. sometimes, there’s a few jumpscares which makes you both scream, but so far, there’s nothing too scary in this haunted house. even wonbin is doing fine.

“it’s not that bad actually,” he says. “i know right. it’s kind of fun,” you admit. “why did you change your mind though?”

“what do you mean?”

“why did you decide that you wanted to go into the haunted house too?”

this question catches wonbin offguard. he takes a few minutes to answer. “do you want me to be honest?”

okay, you think, this is getting deep now. you didn’t expect him to be that serious.

“uhm.. yeah?”

wonbin stops walking and turns around to you, still holding your hand.

“it’s ‘cause i didn’t want anyone else to go with you,” he admits, looking straight into your eyes. “it’s either me or no one. i changed my mind to prove to you that this is how much i like you.. i‘m willing to face my fears for you.”

now this catches you offguard.

wonbin has never said something like that ever before to you. sure, you did think that maybe there’s something true about what the guys have said to you.. wonbin likes you, they said. like, when sungchan came up to you a while ago and said that whenever anyone of them mentions your name, wonbin starts having the biggest smile on his face. of course he tries to hide it but he’s very bad at doing so.

another time, shotaro sat down next to you on the couch and whispered that wonbin has a crush on you. of course you thought that he was joking, but shortly after that, wonbin squeezed himself between the two of you. there was literally no space left but wonbin still didn’t care.

so yeah, you have thought about the possibility of him liking you.. you just never thought that it’s actually true.

the second you open your mouth to say something, your eyes wander to what’s standing right behind wonbin; a clown. smeared with blood all over his face. grinning like crazy. walking closer to you and wonbin.

you start screaming. “OH MY GOD.”

“okay well, you don’t need to make it that obvious that you don’t like me in that way,” wonbin looks down, letting go of your hand.

“SHUT UP AND LOOK,” you grab his shoulders, turning him around so he can see the bloody clown that‘s walking towards you two.

wonbin might have let out a scream that was even louder than yours.

“HOLY SHIT,” he turns back around to you.

you grab his hand. “RUN!”

the two of you start running, not looking back. you don’t even know if the clown is still chasing you, but you don’t care. running while holding hands with wonbin might just be your favorite thing in the world now. he‘s much faster than you so it’s hard for you to keep up with him, but he’s not letting you behind, he’s keeping you close.

arriving at the end of the haunted house, you both stop running. a person wearing a ghost costume approaches you, thanking you both for visiting the haunted house.

walking out of it, you guys are still holding hands. you secretly hope that wonbin will never let go. you don’t want him to.

“thank you for doing this,” you say. “for facing your fears.”

wonbin smiles, but he’s avoiding your gaze.

“this just made me like you way more than i did before. and i already liked you a lot.”

now, wonbin looks at you. his eyes are sparkling. he can’t believe what you just said.

“for you, i would do everything.”

he bends down to give you a short kiss, which leaves you wanting more. you want to keep him this close forever.

“but i won’t ever go to a haunted house again,” wonbin says, smirking against your lips before he kisses you again.

[yanderes-galore]

So, i was reading some of your Alien vs Predator stories and i remembered how much i love the ones featuring the Queen and the hive behavior. So, could you write the yandere alphabet for the Xenomorph Queen?

Sure! This is general and no specific Queen so here you go :)

Yandere Alphabet - Xenomorph Queen

Pairing: Animal/Pet-like

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence/Death, Kidnapping, Blood, Scenting, Isolation, Possessive behavior, Forced but dubious companionship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Queens have shown to have intelligence and aren't entirely dumb. They usually understand human actions and have been shown to bargain. So a Queen would have a higher sense of intelligence than most drones.

If a Queen happened to like a human enough, they'd protect them as though they were one of their young/eggs. If provoked Queens can get brutal in their methods of disposing foes.

In terms of how affection is showed, it's often mimicry of other creatures. A Queen could hold her human and nuzzle her large face into their stomach, that's a more common way.

Affection between you and a Queen isn't what you'd expect. She's intelligent enough to understand and mimic it. Yet... it's more animalistic in nature.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Messy. Queens don't care about being clean with their kills. She could be covered in blood and won't care.

If anything, it's part of her nature.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

I doubt a Queen entirely knows what mocking is. When abducted you'd be kept in a special section under her watch. Most likely stuck to the wall in a resin casing, kept away from the eggs to prevent accidental incubation.

That way she can hiss and coo at you when she feels she wants to.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Most likely. When she drags you into her Hive, you're under her control/command.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Hard to say. She'd be vulnerable about you but in terms of heart... it's up in the air.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Confused. She thought this was what she was supposed to do? She's taking care of you... it's her form of affection and love.

Yet you struggle...

Is it because she's so big? Do you not like being cradled? Despite her confusion she ignores your fight.

She's much stronger than you anyways, she probably will start to not notice at some point.

You'll give up, probably.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not a game, she'd be distraught if you tried to escape her Hive.

She most likely will send drones to deliver you back to her.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The whole thing could be considered horrible.

Yet the worst experience may be if you accidentally got a Facehugger on you or were somehow injured.

Unless there's humans nearby who plan to enter the Hive... you're as good as dead.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

She doesn't think of futures, just procreation, the Hive, and her human.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Most likely. Since she's strong and still animalistic, she'd lash out. Humans are allowed nowhere near you.

Only Xenomorphs are allowed around you.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Lots of coos and hissing. She loves to hold you and keep you close to her chest. She's weirdly affectionate with you compared to other humans.

She'd never take her "gaze" off you, she often scents you to smell like her Hive, then she gives you your own section of the Hive.

Soon you two may even come up with a mutual agreement as you can communicate with the large beast due to her intelligence.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

You probably picked you out of a human group somehow. Maybe a set of marines in her Hive or from a nearby colony?

There isn't much courting... just chance.

You may simply have poor luck.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

You're the only human she isn't hostile to.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

She doesn't understand punishment but she may just send a set of drones to keep an eye on you.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

She would have no idea what a right is.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

In the middle. She can be patient but she is still "feral".

So she won't have a ton of restraint.

Probably, yes.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No and no, she has no concept of guilt. She may have a vague sense of guilt but that would require knowing what's "right and wrong".

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Unknown.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Confused once again but she observes your behavior to try and find a solution. She is smart so she'll try to find a way to at least have the noises you make stop.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

The entirety of her being is different from the classic yandere.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Hard to say. It's really difficult to sneak out of an Alien Hive. I'd say trust but even that's limited.

Maybe luring humans into the Hive? She'll be distracted and you may even be rescued.

...Maybe....

Not on purpose... but, yes. She isn't the most careful.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Would go to great lengths to keep you in her Hive, has no concept of worship.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Not long, if any.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

By accident she would.

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E6: Ascension

Case: Part two of our three part (+ one fever dream) arc begins with a very Will Graham-esque "this is my design" bit with Mulder visiting Scully's apartment, which has now become a crime scene. (Ik X-Files predates Hannibal, it's just what it reminded me of, leave me alone. Plus, Red Dragon predates X-Files by over a decade, soooo) 

Anyway, Scully has been kidnapped by Duane Barry, oopsie daisy! He needs someone to take his place for the next abduction, and he has selected Scully for the job. Good thing Mulder and Krycek are on the case and manage to get her home safe and sound before the end credits roll!

Or... maybe actually they do the opposite of that.

Mulder gets progressively scruffier throughout the episode and nearly kills himself and Krycek on the road bc he hasn't been sleeping since Scully got kidnapped; Scully loses her necklace for the first, but CERTAINLY not last time; Mulder and Krycek take a couple's vacation to a ski resort and Mulder holds a tram operator at gunpoint for suggesting that the tram is "not safe"; Krycek messes up his carefully slicked back hair while pistol whipping the tram operator and then fails to murder Mulder in what may or may not end up being just one of many assassination failures in his pathetic assassin career; Scully is taken by "THEM!" (whoever they are); Duane Barry is dead and the military performs the autopsy bc "there wasn't an FBI pathologist available this morning" (☹️); and Assistant Director Skinner apparently has had the power to reopen the X-Files this whole time??

Does someone die in the cold open: No, but Mulder does do the worst consoling job ever by approaching Scully's mom with Scully's blood on his outstretched hand and then staring blankly at her when she asks where her daughter is.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: This man should not be operating any sort of heavy machinery be it a car, a tram, or an early 1990s projector. (Of the three, though, the only one he doesn't operate during this episode is the projector.)

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Loooool. Nah. Scully's gone, Duane Barry is dead, Krycek has disappeared, and Mulder is left with nothing but some overgrown stubble, scruffy hair, and a worsening of his already substantial insomnia problem.

Whodunit: THEM!!! (Aliens? The shadow government? Both? Neither? Who's to say?)

Convictions: Oh hon. You had to have known Duane Barry was never getting out of this alive, right?

Did they solve it: I am going to go with "no, but." No, but Mulder (and Skinner) are at least aware that they have been massively screwed over, and so Skinner reopens the X-Files in retaliation, and I'll consider that a leveling up. You may have lost all your evidence, almost got framed for murder (tho tbf you did strangle the shit out of him), and got your only real friend in the world abducted by aliens/the shadow government/THEM, but at least you got your special files back, Mulder! I'm sure the first X-Files case you take on after their reopening will be very important, and not one that is just a fourteen year old emo kid's wet/fever dream fantasy...

But, ah, you know what? I'm getting ahead of myself. Ad break! 

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Quitting your job and disconnecting your home phone number. Are you currently leading a double life, pretending to be someone you're not in order to gain the trust of someone you intend to royally fuck over for your bosses in the shadow government? Have you completed your mission and are ready to move onto bigger and better* things? Well, then that means it's time for you to try quitting your job and disconnecting your home phone number! Don't worry, it's the 90s, you don't have a cell phone with a tracker on it, nobody will be able to find you. Go live your life, free as a bird. I mean, at least for now... *We do not guarantee that the things you move onto will be bigger, and we CERTAINLY don't guarantee that the things you move onto will be better. In fact, they might be worse. There's actually a high likelihood that they will indeed be worse. But don't worry about that right now. Everything is going to be probably possibly maybe just fine.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 15 (streak not broken bc i didn't bother to restart it in the first place 👉🏽😎👉🏽)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 9 (teeeechnically she does say "mulder, it's me" in this episode, but it's the same one from the end of the previous episode, so counting it felt like cheating)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 10 ½ (if only krycek were competent 😔) 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 10 (i think as long as we don't know her whereabouts it's valid to consider her as being in mortal danger)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 15 (mulder climbing a hill and staring longingly at the sky is so insanely melodramatic that i'm counting it)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 5 (ngl the line "there wasn't an fbi pathologist available this morning" hits the feels a bit)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 19!! (and he was extremely unhelpful 😃)

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 

Total Number of (Plot Relevant) Nosebleeds: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3 (no, but he did completely ignore all warnings in regards to using the unstable tram thing, which is similar in spirit, if not in practice)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 4 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2 

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 13 (but he NEVER. FUCKING. FINISHES THEM. look at that fucking ashtray at the end of the episode. he takes like one drag and then puts them out. why? why not smoke the whole thing?? drives me insane)

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 2! (she's not having a good time!)

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 3!!!!!! (get outta town, rat boy! no, seriously, get outta town. we'll call you when we need you to fuck something up later)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 11½ (ascend to the stars, mother fucker)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5

[foone]

So if Threshold happens to different Trek crews, who gets who pregnant? Voyager is one of the few shows where it makes heterosexual sense, (for lack of a better word, "sense" not being the word anyone would use to describe threshold)

So for Voyager, it being Paris (pilot) and Janeway (captain) makes sense through that lens. Paris, sure, because he is a pilot. We could pick a Science Guy to do it, but then it might be B'Elanna who does the flying fast, and then who is she going to kidnap for Lizard Sex? Harry? ... Yeah it'd be Harry. Anyway once you've picked Paris, you've got to figure out which woman is funniest to have him abduct into Lizardry. B'Elanna? No, not funny enough. She'd be a Klingon lizard and beat him up instead of mating, even if they did get married later. Besides, what if she evolves into a super-advanced Klingon, not a lizard? *claps* PUT TUVOK ON THE SHUTTLE. Kes? No, they already did a Tom v Neelix episode. Seven of Nine isn't on the show yet, so Janeway it is.

Ok so for other shows, we gotta pick a pilot or science guy (who might be screwing around with transwarp, and thus get Lizarded) and someone they could turn into a lizard to have babies with. The show is assuming heterosexual pairings here, but we know about things so we are not so limited.

The original series: as much as I'd love to say Sulu and Uhura ("I'll save you, fair maiden!" "sorry, neither"), I think TOS was much less of an ensemble than later Treks, so it'd need to be Spock. Spock is doing some science stuff, he gets hyper-evolved, and he picks someone else to hyper-evolve and turn into his lizard bride. As much as I want to say "Kirk", I think it's more likely that he runs off with Uhura and then Kirk has to rescue them. Kirk was always about being the one who rescues people, having the Enterprise come rescue Lizard!Spock (is that antisemitic?) and Lizard!Kirk and it's called commanded by McCoy? Nah.

TNG: the direct analogy to VOY would mean we have Wesley and... Picard? No, no, and no. Sorry. Frankly, we already had this plot on TNG (Genesis), and canonically the answer is Worf and Troi. The problem with it being a pilot thing is that Wesley is a child and Data (the official science guy) is an android, so he can't really be hyper-evolving. We could go with Geordi, the other Science Guy, but then we've got the image of a black man kidnapping a white woman. Uhhhh no. We already did that episode and it is an example of Deep Shame for the show. So Worf and Troi it is.

DS9: so this is what inspired me to make this post. We all agree Sisko would be a damn good father to his lizard babies, but would it be him? If so, with who? You could have it be Dax, and she lizards first and kidnaps him, which makes some sense given that she's a Science Guy. But you also have to consider Weird Guys. Every Trek series needs a Weird Guy so that whenever an ancient alien artifact turns the whole crew into Muppets or whatever, they can be the one who isn't affected and can thus solve it. This is all to say, Odo/Kira could be done. We've had a few episodes where he's been shown to do very extreme things out of his pining for her, so it makes some sense. Odo/Quark would be funnier but given how the DS9 writers handled Profit and Lace, I really don't want to see them do a gay mpreg episode.

ENT: the series with canon mpreg! Direct translation of would be Mayweather/Archer. Mmm. Probably not. I think it's gonna be a rarepair: Trip/Hoshi. Trip/T'Pol is too canon to be funny. The next best option is Archer/T'Pol and that's just kinda bleh. It makes sense but it's just the kind of thing they'd do and it'd be bland. We can do better. Honorary mention: Trip and Reed.

I've not watched enough of the New Treks to have an opinion there. Maybe SNW: Ortegas and La'an. Don't ask why.

[endlessnightlock]

I scare easily lol, but how about Hitchhiker from the horror prompts?

Thanks for the prompt, Anon! I know horror isn't the most popular genre in the Everlark fan community, lol, so I kept it pretty mild.

A-Z Horror prompts

(if you like weird stuff, send me a prompt from the list, fam. This is the only one I got so I'm open to more!)

The guy in the interview room says he's Peeta Mellark. He's not carrying identification, and his prints aren't in the state or federal system, so he could be anybody. I don't know if he has a reason to lie. He's young. Looks like shit. My first thought was junkie, but his eyes are clear.

The kid can't keep his leg still. I say leg, singular because he only has the one. I know that detail because my report states that when Peeta Mellark was brought in, the upper right-hand portion of his blood-soaked jeans was torn away, revealing a prosthetic leg attached well above his knee. Now he's in county-issued scrubs. We were out of sweats and T-shirts. He's not under arrest. He has no wounds, no scratches or caked skin under his nails, only the beginnings of a large bruise on the side of his face. And a story that can’t be true. Can it?

"Your leg a recent injury?" I ask, leaning back in my chair.

The kid shakes his head, never breaking stride with the leg. None of that blood on him was his. I know that. I'm just trying to get him talking.

"Childhood cancer. I lost my leg maybe twelve years ago. Good thing, too. If I'd just got the new one attached, I wouldn't have got away tonight. Took a while to get used to it," he explains, patting his left leg. "Wasn't the fastest runner to begin with. My ma says I stomp around like a bear."

He's rambling, but it's understandable if there's an inch of truth to his story. "Lucky guy. Well, Peeta, let's get directly to the point. I looked over the statement you gave Officer Leeg and watched the interview. I have some concerns."

Peeta meets my eye. Despite the jackshit he told Leeg, I'd swear he's not on anything. "I know it sounds crazy---"

"Yeah, it does."

"You should've been there," he said. "Do I have to tell you everything again? I'm, ah, I'm about to pass out or something. Haven't slept much the last few days."

"No, that's alright. Just answer a few questions if you wouldn't mind."

"Do I need a lawyer?" He asks, leg finally stopping.

"It's never a bad idea. But we're not figuring you as the perpetrator at this point. I can call you a public defendant if you want."

"Nah."

"So you told Officer Leeg that at approximately seven p.m., you were out on Highway 12, looking to hitch a ride. Never a good idea, you know that, right?" I add for good measure. "All kinds of things are liable to happen, as you well know."

Peeta shrugs. "I don't have a car. Still have places I need to get to."

"Ever heard of Uber?"

"Got to have money for that or at least plastic. I'm a little short at the moment."

"Seems like your ass just dropped in from Jupiter or something."

He laughs. Starting to loosen up. "No, I'm not claiming an alien abducted me."

"No. No mention of that. Let's go over what happened again, alright? I'll read over things and just ask questions where I feel it's warranted. So you're on Highway 12 with your thumb out when a Chevy truck, mid 80's model, you think?"

Peeta nods. "Tan and white. Decent shape. Some rust."

"And inside the truck's cab were three young men about your age. They had dark hair and an olive complexion, you said."

He squints at me. "Yes, they had a similar look to yours. Do you have many relations around here?"

"A Lot of us look alike in Seamtown. There was probably lots of inbreeding in the old days."

Peeta laughs, and I wink at him.

"Kidding. We're backwoods, but all of our DNA strands don't match. So back to your statement---these fellas offer to give you a ride."

For someone who said he was too tired to relay the whole story again, Peeta dives in head first. "Yep. There was no room in the cab, but the bed was empty. Was riding with them maybe half an hour before things started getting weird. It was really dark before Gale, the driver, flipped the headlights on. Seconds before before he slammed on the brakes. I about jumped out of my skin when something bounced off the front of the truck. I figured it was a deer. Lots of deer on the move around here at night. He didn't give me time to look around, just started arguing with the other two fellas---his brothers I think---before pushing the pedal to the floor. Seemed in a big hurry to get away. Anyway, he cut the headlights off, so I didn't get a look at what he hit with the truck, but whatever it was didn't look like a deer."

Now we're getting to the first interesting part of Peeta Mellark's statement to my officer: the part where it sounds like Gale Hawthorne (it's a small place, Seamtown) and his younger brothers involved themselves in a hit-and-run on Highway 12.

"So we've gone about five or so miles down the road, I guess, when Gale swerves to the side of the road and comes to a stop. 'This is as far as I can take you,' he said. He sounded frantic. 'Hop out.'"

"He never got out of the truck. It's black as pitch by now, and I'm not excited about being left alone on the side of the road, but after what happened earlier, it doesn't take much convincing to get me out of the truck bed. Something feels off, and I'd rather part company with them before anything else goes wrong. If something bad happened, they might be looking to get rid of a witness, I figured."

"So I hop out of the back of the truck and tell Gale thanks. He mutters something, then guns it out onto the road, and soon, the only thing I can make out is his taillights. I was still figuring out what I was going to do next when I heard it. Breaks squealing and tires screaming across the pavement, trying to stop fast. Then, that crashing sound, twisting, popping, tearing metal that makes you sick to your stomach."

I know exactly what he's describing. Been witness to too many accidents to get those sounds out of my head.

"Gale, he'd hit something else, and whatever it was, it was way bigger than a deer. I take off in a dead sprint towards the truck—at least as fast as I can run, thanks to my bionic leg. They're a good two or three miles down the road, but I'm fairly close when, all of a sudden, I'm not running on the road anymore—I'm off the ground. Feet dangling ten fuckin' feet above the pavement."

"I can't remember a whole lot after that, just the explosion when the truck's fuel tank blew. Whatever had me, some kind of huge bird, maybe some guy in a glider or something? dropped me onto the road, maybe 50 yards past the truck. That's when my pants got ripped. I don't know where all that blood came from. I'm sorry. I don't remember everything that happened tonight. Might have hit my head when that thing dropped me."

Peeta's brows knit together as his relay of the events comes to an end. "Chief Abernathy, can I ask you something? That officer I talked to earlier, Leeg? She wouldn't tell me what Gale hit with his truck when I was with them. I don't...I don't think it was a deer. It's driving me crazy. He drove off so fast, I can't help wondering if he hit someone with the truck."

I fold my arms on the tabletop and sigh. No reason to lie. the kid figured it out on his own. "Between me and you, we found a young woman in the location you described to us."

The color drains from his face. "Was she okay?" he asked.

There's a note of hope in his voice I hated to dash. "Nah, kid. She's dead."

His eyes glaze over, and he slumps backward as the reality hits him. "Hers is a sad story," I admit. "Second, hell, make that the third tragedy to happen in that family. The girl's parents died in a house fire. The oldest daughter was asleep in bed at the time. Fire didn't kill her but left burns across her whole body. Lost her mind. The county sent her somewhere for mental treatment---girl claimed she was some sort of mythological bird. Like a phoenix, but that's not what she called it. Happened a dozen or so odd years ago."

"A Mockingjay," Peeta said, turning to face the two-way mirror in the room. "I read something about her somewhere," he added casually.

I snap my fingers. "Yeah, that was it. Mockingjay. The girl disappeared from the facility one day. Katniss Everdeen. The young lady who died tonight was her sister Prim. You wonder how much a person can take without breaking all that death and pain. I don't know what Katniss would do if she found out about her sister's death on top of everything else."

"Maybe she already knows," Peeta says, his leg beginning to shake again. "Uh, confession time, I guess."

He waves his hands. "Not about anything tonight. I was at the facility with her, with Katniss. We kind of had a thing, I don't know. I left right after she disappeared. I didn't go home. I guess I've sort of been wandering around the area, looking for her since."

"Really. Odd that you weren't in our system, then."

Peeta rolled his eyes. "It was a physical rehab place, not drug detox. We weren't criminals. What happened to Gale and his brothers?"

I shake my head. "Gale's in the morgue. One brother with him. One in intensive care."

"Shit," he murmurs, rubbing his eyes. "Christ. Hey, am I free to go?"

I stand. "Free as the wind. Just let us know before you head out of town. Do you have somewhere to go tonight, kid?"

Peeta nods. "Yeah, I think so."

When he stands I pat him on the shoulder. "Thanks again. I'll see if we have something else you can wear."

Within a half hour or so, we had Peeta on his way. I don't know where he planned to go, but I never saw him again after that. It was almost like he'd been plucked off the ground by whatever that thing was and put somewhere safe.

[jtl07]

I love their time in Switzerland, it was the best 🩷 And your fic from their room and all the things is AMAZING! Let’s say Ava comes back and they choose to visit their «home», could you write a fic of them meeting Hans again? What would they say/lie/tell the truth about? He just lost two colleagues, maybe even without notice 😅

aw thanks anon! looks for you in everything (finds you there) has a very fond place in my heart. i also may or may not be working on something that makes reference to that fic 👀

anyway, here's two little short things for you! the first bit is from a wip that i've been picking at for a bit

[waiting]

It doesn’t take long for Hans to miss them - just a few minutes into his shift and he already feels bereft. There’s no one to laugh at, laugh with, be in awe of, be in awe with, and he has to make a conscious effort to breathe when he turns and doesn’t see Ava trying to juggle the shakers with Beatrice watching and trying not to laugh. He takes a deep breath and finishes clocking in; dons his apron in silence. 

He misses them both in equal measure, which surprises him. He finds himself missing Beatrice’s deadpan remarks dropped unexpectedly throughout the day, finds himself emulating her cool composure when faced with a distributor trying to increase the buying price. He can’t ever try to imitate Ava’s brightness, but he can try to find joy and love in the everyday mundane: the bubbles shining like rainbows in the sink, arranging the lime wedges into animal shapes, enjoying an errant breeze as he sweeps the floor. 

He doesn’t know if - when - they’ll be back. Doesn’t stop himself from looking up at the door when someone passes by with a bright laugh, a steady gait. Hopes; waits.

*

[welcome back]

“Wait, really?” Hans says, suddenly serious. 

Ava bursts out into incredulous laughter - it’s too loud for this late in the evening, but the bar is empty save for the three of them. The three of them, Hans thinks, and the part of him that had missed them, that had worried, that had prayed, truly starts to ease. 

Beatrice raises an eyebrow at him even as her hand reaches out to keep Ava from falling off her stool. “What?” Hans blurts out, looking between the two of them. They look older, somehow, the month they’d been gone having changed them. Different from when the two months they’d spent here - that had changed in a softer way, then; freer, hopeful. Here, under the dim light and a drink each, they look worn but steady, a war won and behind them, only life and joy ahead of them. 

For Ava and Beatrice, apparently, joy looks like this: “You believe us getting abducted by aliens more than us fighting demons for the Catholic church?” Ava finally says when her laughter dies down enough for her to speak. 

“Both sound equally crazy,” Hans nearly shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. They've been throwing out insane reasons for their disappearance the whole night, each one more ridiculous than the last. “Can’t you just tell me already?” 

“We already did.” Hans glares at Beatrice but if one thing has remained the same, it’s her ice cold stare. It melts, though, like it always did, under Ava’s grin. 

“Wait, I got a new one -” 

Hans groans. “I need another drink,” he mutters to himself as he goes behind the counter. He hears twin giggles behind him and rolls his eyes. They really are back, he grouses to himself; shakes his head and smiles.

[frozenjokes]

How I Lost My Hand (+ mumbo jumbo mermaid returns to the surface not clickbait???)

“Jimmy said that you were fine, safe, the mafia isn’t after you or whatever, but I’m not going to lie, Grian, all these specifics about where and when and with who and all this build up you’ve made before telling me why half of your hand is gone..” Joel shrugged, discomfort mingling with his anxiety. He, Lizzie, and Grian were all in the car together on the way to the zoo to drop Grian off at his new job after a week of Grian being extremely cagey about the mysterious new injury that had appeared across his hand. Even weirder than half of his fingers being gone was the fact that there was no wound, only a nasty scar that snaked across his hand and continued under the sleeve of his sweater, but Grian had refused to pull it up so Joel could see. It had not been nearly long enough since Joel had last seen Grian for an injury that severe to have happened and then healed, and Joel had no idea what could have possibly happened to him.

Lizzie, in the passenger seat, poked her head around to look at Grian in the back, “I’m happy to be here, flattered even, but I’m also very confused about.. you know.. being needed here. I’m not much use against the mafia, Grian, I will keep a secret for you but under the threat of torture that will change. They don’t even have to threaten me and I’ll crack, I promise.”

“It’s not about the mafia.” Grian cut in before Joel could regale what his own experience being tortured by the mafia would look like, “You know the aliens? The ones that abducted you in highschool or whatever. That Jimmy and I don’t believe you about.”

“Jimmy believes me.”

“He doesn’t. He just feels bad. You were a chronic liar then, and you’re now taking this bit to your grave, that’s what we agreed on.”

“Lizzie believes me!” Joel threw his hands up and off the wheel, to which both Lizzie and Grian lunged forward to force his focus back on the road. “Lizzie also got abducted! Not even a whole year ago!”

“Yes, she’s in on the bit. That’s something she would do. She thinks it’s funny, which it is, at least that’s what Jimmy and I agreed anyway. You almost got us too, Jimmy was a little shaken. Anyway, I believe you now.”

“I am not-” Lizzie stopped short, processing, “Wait what?” Once again Joel was opening his mouth to interrogate, but Grian gave the answers freely.

“Don’t ask me why or how, it was a complete accident, but I think I met them? Your aliens, I mean. And I don’t think I met them, I know I met them, because they’re clones. A completely new Joel and Lizzie, except the Joel can do magic and the Lizzie is blue and a fish person. She bit my hand off. Joel healed it. Despite this the Joel is actually a Grade A prick and the Lizzie is nice, the hand thing was an accident. Scar and one of Scar’s friends was also there, so I can give you Scar’s number if you want to ask him about it, but only if you promise not to use that information for evil. You know what evil means.”

“I- You- Okay, wait a minute! Threatening Scar for being an asshole is not evil because he was being the asshole first. If you two can’t keep your hands off each other then someone else has to step in!”

“That’s what you’re concerned about?” Lizzie squawked, Joel closing his eyes against the noise, then opening them again when he remembered he was on the road. He honked at a car about to pull out into the intersection in front of him for being a dumbass, clearly Joel was not paying attention and everyone should get out of his way if they intended on living another day.

“I’m still processing the rest-!” Joel struggled to defend himself, mind whirling with this new information. “And I’ve decided you’re lying, this is unbelievable. And Jimmy is in on it, this is some kind of convoluted revenge against Lizzie and I who are not lying.”

Grian was unperturbed. “I’ll call Scar.” Joel and Lizzie were left in a stunned silence as Grian dialed Scar’s number, the line clicking as the call connected. “Hi, Scar, you’re on speaker and I’m in the car with my friends, Joel and Lizzie, telling them what happened to my hand.”

“Wow! You know a Joel and a Lizzie? What a coincidence!” Scar stopped, deadpanning in his shock, “Wait you’re doing what.”

“The Joel and Lizzie that your friend, who I am not going to name, is associated with are clones. That’s what I’ve concluded anyway. The Joel and Lizzie I know are also married and look and sound pretty much the same besides the fact that they’re both human and the Joel doesn’t have a tacky green strand of hair.”

“What?? Joel and Lizzie are clones?”

“My Joel and Lizzie are not clones, they are the originals. They got abducted by aliens.”

Joel interrupted, unable to believe what he was hearing, “You two don’t even have your story straight!”

Scar yelped over the phone, “Grian! Why is Joel in your car?”

“He’s the original Joel!” Grian seethed, apparently not expecting all of this back and forth, “The other evil Joel is a clone! So is the Lizzie that ate my fingers!”

“Ate them?” Lizzie fake gagged, “Gross! I would not do that. If I had to cannibalize anyone I would not go for the fingers, are you kidding?”

“Ah! The Lizzie!” Scar sounded just as surprised to hear Lizzie as he did Joel, which was starting to be extremely confusing.

“I am not-” Lizzie cut herself off, like she wasn’t sure if she should be offended or confused, “I am just Lizzie. There’s only one of me- and if there’s more I am the original! I think. Maybe I’m not. Joel, are we clones?”

“We are not clones!” Joel skidded into the zoo parking lot, tires screeching. He swiveled into a parking space, paying no attention to the lines before throwing the car into park and whirling around on Grian, who was already unbuckling his seatbelt and grabbing his bag.

“Thanks for the ride, Joel. Bye, Scar.”

“Wait a minute-” Scar said, but Grian hung up, opening the car door and scooting outside.

“Hey! You get back in the car right this instant, Grian!” Joel rolled down his window in an attempt to grab Grian by his bag, but he ducked out of the way, not looking back.

“This is why I wanted to do this on the ride to work,” Grian shrugged, continuing forward, “Time limit. If you don’t believe me, I don’t care. Reminder that Jimmy is picking me up today.”

“Jimmy- Jimmy is not picking you up! I’m going to call him! We are not done talking, Grian!”

“If you show up, I am not getting in your car.” Grian waved, and despite Joel yelling several expletives his way, Grian did not turn around. Joel huffed, slumping in his seat. Lizzie was still staring after Grian, a look of incredulous bafflement clear on her face.

“What a cunt!”

Joel laughed, shaking his head. “Right?”

***

‘It’s hot. It’s hot up here. Why did I let you convince me to go to the surface. This sucks. I knew this would suck. Humans can’t be that interesting, you must be mistaken about their language. They’re pests, they don’t need complex systems of communication to be pests.’

Mumbo’s fins flicked with increasing frequency at his companion’s complaining, irritation with each other seeming to be a new facet of their relationship.

‘It will get hotter. At this rate, I don’t care if you shrivel.’ Mumbo aimed a quick blow at Atlas’ face with his tail, but when it came to fine motor skills, Atlas had him beat, ducking out of the way far before Mumbo’s fins landed at the spot his companion had been moments before. If only they were that fast when it came to swimming; Altas could propel themself quickly at short distances, but in a journey like this, they were agonizingly slow. Of course, they could probably go quite a bit faster than the pace they had stubbornly set, but Mumbo had convinced himself Atlas was doing this specifically to piss him off. Though, when it came to long distance travel, Atlas was no stranger. They were born much further north, where the water was freezing and the land was white and gray. Northern mermaids lived much closer to the surface because the human communities were much smaller, much more spread apart, but regardless, with the northern mermaids living so close to the surface, they tended to encounter humans directly more often. Mermaids up north were massive because of the cold, physically tougher as well, and more aggressive, feuding with the human populations instead of running from them like so many other mers had. Mumbo admired them for that, though Atlas had other opinions.

They took the shape of an octopus, covered head to tail tip in an odd sort of lichen or sea-plant or- Mumbo wasn’t really sure what it was, but Atlas was fond of it, cultivating, breeding, and strengthening it to survive harsh conditions. Mumbo was honestly a little afraid of it, and most other mers found it to be a pest, given it stuck to everything and spread everywhere Altas went. Mumbo wondered if it would survive the surface, and silently hoped it wouldn’t. But under the lichen, Altas’ skin and scales were peppered in scars, some hunting injuries, but most from human aggression, machines and weapons that punctured effortlessly through mermaid skin.

‘We’re being slaughtered,’ Atlas had said, and while they couldn’t emote in the same way the other mers could, it wasn’t difficult to tell how they felt, ‘Decades ago, it didn’t matter. Human tools could not stand up to mer strength.’ They had addressed a large group of mers then, and distinctly he recalled not being able to tell if this was a call to action or a word of warning. He still didn’t know.

Atlas had traveled a long way to get to Mumbo’s pod, along the way discovering a passion for study, language holding their particular interest. They had essentially brute force learned Mumbo’s language on the way down, shocked to discover there was even more than one, but that knowledge had lit a fire in Atlas regardless, leading them to take a shine to travel, wanting to see more mers, learn more languages, give those languages names. Perhaps fittingly, Atlas had dubbed their birth language Northern, and they called Mumbo’s Middle North. Apparently they’d traveled so far south that the water had gotten cold again, but Atlas knew they weren’t in the same place because the mermaids down south did not speak the same language, though fascinatingly, they looked quite a bit like the northern mers.

Apparently though, Atlas quite liked ‘Middle North’ or at least the region. Mumbo got the sense it was because they got to stay close to home without the immediate threat of human interference, and Atlas usually said they liked the temperature of this region, which Mumbo didn’t doubt to be true. Regardless, after many years of traveling and language learning, Atlas had decided to settle down for a while and teach the things they had learned to anyone who might listen. For the most part though, mers found Atlas to be exceptionally odd, and not in a good way.

Atlas had two things going for them, that being they were massive and that they were old. Well- Mumbo didn’t actually know how old Atlas was, but given the size and the amount of travel, many mers assumed very.

Mers were drawn to Atlas because of their size, then drawn away by the everything else. Atlas was not the easiest mer to get along with, and by not easy, Mumbo meant they were kind of an asshole. Being friends for so long, Mumbo got the sense Atlas’ bluntness was more of a cultural trait than anything, but Altas didn’t even try to play nice with anyone they didn’t respect, and respect was earned. Atlas cared very little for social hierarchies, jewelry, accessories, or anything else that indicated status, outwardly irritated by pastimes they considered impractical or vain. Mumbo had watched in horror as Atlas grabbed and pulled on several different mers’ accessories, getting into countless physical fights that they always won with minimal injuries, their adversaries left with the consolation prize of a mouthful of lichen.

Atlas was aggressive with their opinions and had the size and strength to back it up, establishing themself at the top of the pecking order they cared so little for in the first place. However, after the initial conflict with Atlas sometimes taking on three or four mermaids at a time, things calmed down a little. Occasionally a group of mers would try and destroy Atlas’ gardens of lichen in petty revenge, but they were rarely successful, even in the most thorough of cases. Regardless, Atlas’ lichen was sticky, and given its gentle bioluminescence.. well, Atlas had no trouble finding the culprits. Mumbo had watched Atlas terrorize the settlement he lived in for quite a while from the sidelines, staying far out of their way.

Even then, Mumbo did not escape Atlas’ attention.

Atlas had an incredibly unnerving habit of staring, which was a little bit different from human staring, but conceptually the same.. Just sitting there.. watching.. You always knew it was Atlas too because they almost clicked with an accent, or at least had enough of a distinct way of doing it that it was easy to tell who was around. Altas liked to watch Mumbo often, and in hindsight this was probably because Mumbo was also a freak of nature, but before they had met properly Mumbo was certain he was Altas’ next victim.

But Atlas never told him off, trilling their amusement when Mumbo said respectfully that he did not want to associate even a little bit. After that small interaction, Mumbo thought he was good to go, but Atlas did not leave, and Mumbo was about to learn they were very persistent.

Nearly by force, Atlas befriended him. In his defense, very few mers were interested in Mumbo’s hobbies, and even as independent as Mumbo tended to be (LYING), he quite enjoyed the attention. Part of him wondered if Atlas was drawn to him because he was often stationary, spending most of his days tinkering. Relevant because Atlas had a lot to say and a lot of stories to tell, and as much as Mumbo was apprehensive about Atlas’ presence, he also really liked listening to them. After a while, he got the sense that Atlas was a little lonely as well, but lonely for the mers they couldn’t go back to.

Atlas wasn’t always around, and neither was Mumbo, but when their paths crossed, they had plenty to share with each other. It was a little funny the way they exchanged news; while both of them had mild interest in what the other had to say, they were far more interested in their own stories, a sentiment both of them understood without speaking it aloud, so they ended up taking turns in a way that was quite rigid, but it worked for them. However, this did not stop the two of them from attempting to ‘steal turns,’ grabbing each other’s attention with cliffhanger mentions of the other’s fixations, so that they couldn’t help but forfeit their next turn in order to know more. Mumbo enjoyed playing this game, and he had sufficiently won with the subject of his humans; not the mermaid-human bond he’d managed to form or even their intelligence, but their language.

Atlas was floored by the mere idea of humanity having a complex language; every animal communicated, but Atlas had never taken the senseless babbling of humans to mean more than the chittering of [animals Mumbo did not know, nor have a word for in Middle North]. They wondered out loud if this was the reason humanity advanced technologically so quickly, and if mermaids could do the same thing if they got over their aversion to travel and figured out how to talk to each other (said with great bitterness, Atlas was frustrated about this subject even with their own people). Mumbo replied simply that he didn’t know, but that Atlas could find out for themself if they wanted to go to the surface, or more specifically, meet the mermaid that spoke the human language and Middle North. Mumbo left his story there, allowing Atlas their turn. They forfeited it immediately.

Which led them to now, after some time of course, neither of them were itching to go to the surface right away, and Mumbo wanted to take some time away, catch up with friends and appreciate his life in the deep, because really, as much as the surface caught his allure, he loved being home, and it had been a long while since he’d let himself stay.

However, now, learning that Atlas was an abysmal travel partner, Mumbo was about two seconds from biting them at any given moment. Even with the promise of studying human language, Atlas hadn’t necessarily wanted to come, most of the reason being that they fucking hated humanity, which, fair, yeah, Mumbo didn’t blame them, however, his humans were cool, and Mumbo was so excited by the prospect of getting to show them off to someone else, he was ready to say anything to get Atlas to come with, failing to remember that at the slightest discomfort, Atlas was a certified pain in the ass.

Oh well. It would be a matter of days before Atlas got used to the heat, at least enough to stop whining about it, and after that, they’d get everything they wanted. Well. If Etho happened to be a mermaid at the right time that is, but Mumbo would cross that bridge when he got there.

[djljpanda]

In crk, one of Black Lemonade's lines when you level her up is "I somehow feel stronger now, thank you.?" Or something along those lines, which implies the cookies don't really understand how the levelling up/promotion/gacha system might work, just that they feel stronger afterwards.

I think this could further lead the cookies into believing the player is some kind of higher power. Maybe one with the ability to give others power. Which, if the player does go to Earthbread and does in fact have that ability, could be interesting to explore.

It also implies, as mentioned previously that they don't understand how the gacha system works, and if we're taking this very literally.. does that mean we're technically abducting the cookies??? (I actually saw the theory tossed around during crk's early days), I get the vibe we're just kind of ripping them away from whatever they're doing at that moment, which seems a little.. rude.

I also think exploring what soulstones/soulcores are lorewise could be really cool. I think all the nonsense above would lead different cookies to investigate wtf is happening while in your kingdom, either to gain your power themself for nefarious purposes, or because they're completely freaked out, due to the whole weird ass summoning ritual that got them here in the first place (gacha pulling).

I imagine them intentionally going under the radar, since you don't really seem to notice their day to day activities there and they might be worried about what you would think.

Ngl, this could make a really good oneshot where the cookies investigate and it leads them into our world or something idk

Hydrogen Anon - I might expand on each of these ideas in other asks if you want-- if you have any expansions on this or have ideas any characters you write for I'd love to hear it. Cheers!!

I actually find the idea funny of the cookies doing little cookie things only to disappear and to reappear moments later.

But no I would also like to add the detail that some cookies don't even remember that gacha space kind of like here of what we think of aliens.

Like some cookies would disappear and everyone is just freaking but when they come back they don't remember anything but they feel stronger now. Or some will come back and just talk about where they were at and they felt some force. Some cookies don't think there is another exploitation and that there is no ther being besides witches.

I remember that you mentioned that MC helps the Main crew in battle, maybe that's how they e helps them she gives them a power boost.

I feel like even if cookies go under the radar MC might still be able to track them down. But when MC does end up in Earthbread I can see groups of cookies trying to track down MC because everyone wants that power boost.

Cheers! 🥂

[visenyaism]

who have been your bg3 romances so far? :)

my first playthrough was gevvy the bard whose whole thing is that she is one of the most famous popstars in the world who just happened to get abducted by aliens and thrown into mortal peril with the only six people who do not know her because of their wacky life circumstances and it’s driving her insane. She went for Lae’zel because her willingness to always keep it real, completely flat affect, dislike of any kind of pretenses, and general forthrightness was like a paychosexual magnet for my silly pop diva. I have no good screenshots of them, but here she is⬇️

my second playthrough was my favorite, Bluebird, my sweet stupid ranger fighting against the forces of evil, her random overwhelming compulsions to kill everything, CTE, and having 8int. she thought she was the camp vampire for 45 minutes because she has red eyes and likes blood and figured she just forgot about it like she forgot about killing alfira. she went for Astarion at first because i thought it was funny to do the whole my love i will protect you thing with two toothpick-looking 5’3 fem elves but honestly it was very endearing in the end. and funny. (he’s a fighter in this run because i couldn’t find lae’zel for like 5 long rests and needs must.)

my current (and probably last) playthrough is Salomé, my sick and twisted evil high femme bhaalspawn wizard who got hit on the head hard enough to forget that she isn’t allowed to be a myrkulite necromancer. you’ll never guess who she picked.

[antikate]

Blankets (the truth is out there)

I used to sleep under old woollen army blankets in the winter. I don’t know where they came from, but they’d appear sometime after Easter, brown with a grey stripe, and so damn heavy; heavy as lead, heavy as grave-dirt. Despite their weight, one of these blankets wasn’t quite warm enough, nor was two even, and when it was very cold my mother would pile up three or four of them until I could barely move my childish limbs beneath the weight. I liked the way they pressed me down into my old mattress, except for my feet. The arches ached, sometimes, from the pressure of the pile of woollen army blankets.

Sometimes I stuck my feet out over the side of the bed, but then I was afraid something — probably an alien — would grab my feet, so I suffered through the discomfort of the weight on my feet as best I could. Sore feet beat being abducted by grey-faced, black-eyed aliens.

I was very afraid of aliens, after accidentally watching a tv show about abductees.

I spent hours in the mirror checking my skin for signs that I’d been abducted and experimented on. Strange birthmarks, new injuries, odd lumps.

I never found anything beyond a few moles and mundane scars. I never lost time, although now there’s whole stretches of those years I barely recall at all. Not because they were bad, exactly, just that childhood goes like that. It slips away.

I was so scared of being abducted by aliens. But I also always wanted it to happen.

(If I was abducted by aliens, maybe it would explain what was wrong with me.)

The texture of the woolllen army blankets was unbearable—more like sandpaper than a blanket should be. Like sleeping under a sheep lost in the bush for a few years, all burr-snarled and fly-blown. That was what love was like in my family. The intent was there, but it was too heavy and not heavy enough. Rough, but you had to be grateful for what you got. Some people had no blankets at all.

I folded the sheet down over the top-most woollen blanket to keep it from touching any part of my skin. But touching was inevitable, and always distressing.

The worst thing about the blankets, though, was the smell of moth-balls.

The smell was awful, chemical and pungent. Like my Nan’s closet. Like the op-shop. And it heralded the coming of asthma season, when I caught every cold and flu going around, when my lungs collapsed and constricted, and every inhale I made sounded like a rusty old gate swinging in a feeble wind.

(When I was sick, my father would get out a green Tupperware bowl and fill it with boiling water and eucalyptus oil, and force me to hold my head over the steam while I cried, because I hated the smell and it never made me feel better.

Once, I threw up in the bowl. I don’t think he made me do it again.)

As an adult I learned that moth balls were made from naphthalene, and naphthalene is known to trigger asthma, among other health issues. They’re probably carcinogenic. By then the old woollen army blankets had become a feast for carpet moths anyway, more hole than wool by the end. And we don’t use much wool any more — everything is made of plastic now, and the moths starve.

I am trying to explain to you now that I feel like this.

I feel threadbare and abrasive, that I carry with me the smell of mothballs, that I’m too thin but too heavy. I feel like an old woollen army blanket, I think, as I stuff the washing machine with goose-down duvets I spent too much money on. They’re so light they barely feel like you’re sleeping under anything at all.

I feel like I’m more hole than wool, some days.

(And I’m still half scared and half hopeful that I’m going to be abducted by aliens. Maybe then I’ll know what’s wrong with me.)