#“and may you live in VERY interesting times!”
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𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝟏𝟎,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬!!! 🎉 💐
I've been using this blog since I started college, and now, I'm less than 3 weeks from finishing my Environmental Geoscience degree (with a Minor in Soil Science)! ☺︎ I cannot tell y'all how much I've learned these past few years. About myself and about what I want to do in the world. About how much I've grown, not just as an artist, but as a storyteller.
I like to think this is much more than just an art blog, because if you've followed me long enough, you know I love to go on long tangents about the most random things and post about my many other interests. And I love doing it! I love being myself on this blog and I love the freedom of it all.
And the people on Tumblr! Ha. Never did I think I would be online friends or acquaintances with so many talented artists and creatives. I'm not always able to spur the same energy I could in the past, struggling with depression does that and becoming an adult is it's own can of worms, but you guys make me feel like a hundred bucks despite it all. And I cannot thank you enough.
Art has always been a way for me to express myself. Whether i'm feeling like a soggy sad puddle or feeling I'm at the top of the world. And being able to so freely draw whatever I want without judgment is something so very very special. It's a passion that I am very lucky to have kept with me in life. I wouldn't be the same person without it.
To all those who've followed me for the Chara Timeline, my heart goes out to you all in gratefulness. I know having a comic on such a long hiatus may be disappointing, but it's given me so much time to live my life and I appreciate every comment i've ever gotten on it.
And for the crazy amount of people just joining in from my Hollow Knight Comic, GOLLY. There's so many of you!! And all of you are so sweet and supportive too! It's so amazing.
And to those who are just here for my blog and art and silly antics. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart ❤️
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There are two big "AI Art Discourse" events of note recently, which I thought were interesting: ACX's "AI Art Turing Test" and the new paper on "AI Poetry Beating Human Poetry". Both of these I think reveal the shape of "what is AI art for", and also say a lot about how these results were utilized in discourse.
To take the latter first, some academics quizzed people on some poetry and had these results:
We found that AI-generated poems were rated more favorably in qualities such as rhythm and beauty, and that this contributed to their mistaken identification as human-authored. Our findings suggest that participants employed shared yet flawed heuristics to differentiate AI from human poetry: the simplicity of AI-generated poems may be easier for non-experts to understand, leading them to prefer AI-generated poetry and misinterpret the complexity of human poems as incoherence generated by AI.
More human than human poems! This certainly seems impressive - and it is. You couldn't have gotten these results ~5 years ago. But that maybe doesn't mean as much as you might think? Because here is the opening half of the winning "Walt Whitman AI" Poem:
I hear the call of nature, the rustling of the trees, The whisper of the river, the buzzing of the bees, The chirping of the songbirds, and the howling of the wind, All woven into a symphony, that never seems to end. I feel the pulse of life, the beating of my heart, The rhythm of my breathing, the soul's eternal art, The passion of my being, that burns with fervent fire, The urge to live, to love, to strive, to reach up higher. I see the beauty all around, the glory of the earth, The majesty of mountains, the miracles of birth, The wonder of the cosmos, the mysteries of the stars, The poetry of existence, that echoes near and far
This fucking sucks. Straight up 2/10 poem. Did this bitch seriously establish the world's most predictable rhyme scheme only to try to rhyme wind with end? You had one job that you chose for yourself, and you screwed it up! This poem has been written a million times before, and says nothing - the Miley Cyrus lyrics of verse.
The reason this won is, yes, because AI tools have advanced heavily in the past few years. But it is also because it is being tested on a dead art. No one cares about poetry - certainly not the survey respondents:
We asked participants several questions to gauge their experience with poetry, including how much they like poetry, how frequently they read poetry, and their level of familiarity with their assigned poet. Overall, our participants reported a low level of experience with poetry: 90.4% of participants reported that they read poetry a few times per year or less, 55.8% described themselves as “not very familiar with poetry”, and 66.8% describe themselves as “not familiar at all” with their assigned poet.
"Or less" is doing a LOT of work there; "yeah I read a few nonfiction books a year" oh sure, totally. 90% of these respondents haven't read a poem that wasn't displayed in the end credits of Minecraft since high school. No one does, poetry as a medium is essentially a relic. That isn't an insult to poets, by the way! There is no shame in being a niche. Not everyone can have the reach of hentai doujin artists; the community is small but they get a ton out of it. But you can't take the art of the community and expect that art to hit outside of it.
This survey didn't ask people to evaluate art; it asked people to evaluate their stereotypical impression of an art they don't care about. It was ~600 people hired off a website, they banged it out ASAP and moved on. This is not to invalidate the results; I am not actually claiming that "real" poets would have scored much better? Maybe, I don't know - that just isn't very relevant.
Let's swing to the AI Art Turing Test results to get more into why. Again, AI art is absolutely "art" in the sense that it is able to pass the test handily. You have to be head-in-the-sand at this point to think that AI can't make an impressionist painting a la the "most liked" art in this contest:
I have seen the "well real paintings have physicality this is a jpeg" discourse points and the cope couldn't be more real - 99% of art consumption in the modern world is digital or at least prints, let's get you back to bed grandma. But I did find it pretty funny that Scott noted this AI piece as one he particularly liked:
Because it is nonsensical, right? All that "faded paint", how was it originally painted - just bucket splashes of red and blue? What are those random doors, the random stairs going nowhere on the sides, the vague-nothings engravings? Scott just didn't care about that - he liked the vibe, right? Ancient ruins, epic scale. It isn't a coincidence that the Impressionist art did the best - current AI tools are always impressionist, they have an idea of the vibe and invent the details in between. In Impressionism that is the whole point.
Now the trap is to go "REAL artists can tell because of this or that" because idk, the tools might get better, they might fill in more and more details. The real revelation here is that you don't need the tools to get better - visual art isn't so different from poetry. Most people don't pay attention to it all that much. You see thousands, thousands of pieces of art a week; you probably don't even realize how many. Do you really care if the fading paint makes coherent sense on a billboard ad or a doctor's office wall painting? So much art that is made is "industrial" in this sense - it has no need to be good. Only good enough to fulfill its utilitarian role. In these fields AI absolutely is going to Take Your Jobs in some form, and already is (though imo not a ton of them). And it won't really bother most people. This can go pretty deep - I promise you people are "utilizing" AI porn right now. They are ~appreciating the details~ way more than is typical, the product is working.
All this works until it doesn't, though. When it is an art book by a favourite artist whose vision you want to pour over, learning that all the individual details were just made by AI completely defeats the purpose, right? Imagine reading a book of these poems. Outside of the novelty, "AI is the point" factor you would rather watch infomercials on repeat, I can't imagine a more pointless use of my time. "Reading arbitrary poems" is never fun, regardless of the quality of the poems. Most people don't care about poetry! The reason you care is that you care about the poet, and what they want to say. You read poetry with context, it being inserted with intent into the pages of a manga, at the end of a video game, because you like the artist and follow them on twitter. The quality of the prose isn't more important than that.
Which is a harsh limit for all of these kinds of tests. They essentially aren't testing art, right? You do not ever get paid twenty bucks to sit down and read a dozen poems and score them. That has no bearing on how you would actually ever learn to care about a poem. Which doesn't make AI art useless or anything, more that these tests will very quickly run into their limits of what they can meaningfully tell you. The actual bar is "creating something someone cares about". From that lens, I fully believe hybrid methods that privilege artistic intent are currently working and will improve. But I think for "solo" AI art getting that to work is going to be complicated.
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Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)
Chapter 16
Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.
Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?
..................................................
Ananya stared at the photo without blinking. Consciously trying to figure whether this was real or a cruel nightmare she’d wake up from any second.
When her phone flashed with Roma’s name, she knew she was living her nightmare. There was no escape.
‘Finally.’
Roma’s relieved voice came from the speaker, while Ananya’s eyes were still glued to the photo.
‘Say something girl. Please.’
There was no point asking if Ananya had seen the article and the photos, and that one photo in particular. The deafening eerie silence at the other end was confirmation enough.
‘She’s pretty, isn’t she?’
Roma started pacing around her boyfriend’s living room. This is exactly what she was worried about. That her friend would somehow find a way to take it upon herself, instead of being raving mad at that fucker.
‘No babe, don’t do that to yourself.’
‘Well she is. Very beautiful.’
‘I DON’T FUCKING CARE how she looks or who she is. This is not about her.’
Ananya shook her head ruefully, and spoke in a small, faraway voice.
‘She is just his type.’
Roma wanted to throw her phone at the wall. And Jude out of the window.
Guilt was hitting her in truckloads. And she cursed the moment when she had encouraged Ananya to give this relationship a shot. Moments rather, coz there had been many. She had been #TeamJude every step of the way. Look where it got her friend.
But this wasn’t the time to have her own meltdown. She needed to be strong for Ananya, whose voice & state she was struggling to read presently. Getting her to talk was crucial.
‘Has he called? Has he tried to explain?’
‘He hasn’t called since he left Madrid last weekend. And what’s left to explain in this?’
The article stated specifically that the images had not been tampered with, they had the original & had verified it. There were two eyewitness accounts confirming it too. Who further added that the ‘couple’ were ‘cozy’ and ‘inseparable’ all night. Other than the lip-lock photo, there were a few others of them sitting close to each other in a small group, smiling, having drinks, giggling. The over-familiarity all too visible. This was more than the usual Jude friendliness, no one could convince Ananya otherwise. Not even Jude.
There was nothing left to clarify. Maybe he didn’t even feel the need to. The fact that there wasn’t even a peep from him yet was maybe his way of sending a message. That whatever ‘arrangement’ they had, it was over.
Roma had no logical counter to this, but some instinct was telling her to hear Jude’s side of the story. That is, if he had a side to share and if he had any interest in sharing it. Sadly, Ananya’s reading of it was very much a possibility. Roma had to admit that Jude was capable of it. He moved on quickly from his arrangements, without much care for who or what was left behind. Somehow though, she was convinced that he was different with Ananya. Their interactions over the last 2 months further solidified her belief that Jude genuinely cared for Ananya. How could both of them read him so wrong? Something about it was not sitting right, but the lip-lock photo was staring her in the face. How could she deny that? How could she give any false hope to her friend, when she had already caused her so much pain?
Her friend may not have been showing that pain explicitly, but Roma knew Ananya was falling back on the veneer of logic & practicality in order to hide her vulnerability & heartbreak. The shield was up, guarding her from further hurt.
‘Why didn’t you stop me, Roma? These silly fairytales never work, they always end this way. Why didn’t you tell me he was out of my league?’
‘He is not out of your league. YOU ARE OUT OF HIS LEAGUE. If all he wants to do is fuck those dumb bimbos who run after him 24*7 then to hell with him.’
‘See, you’re doing it again.’
‘I am telling you PLAIN FACTS ANANYA. He was not the catch in this one, YOU ARE.’
Ananya laughed a deeply broken laugh. And Roma wished if she could somehow teleport and be with her friend right now. Her being all alone in that apartment and in Madrid had come at the worst time.
‘He could have at least told me himself. I deserved that much, no?’
Roma fought the urge to curse the living daylights out of that bastard. But something was telling her that despite all this, Ananya still won’t like that.
‘You deserved a lot more. You deserve a lot better than that asshole.’
‘I…wait what time is it in the US right now? Must be way past midnight right?’
‘Doesn’t matter.’
‘Go to sleep, Roma.’
‘Rubbish. Talk to me. I’m not leaving you alone.’
‘Actually I kinda want to be alone. You know that’s how I process things.’
‘But…’
‘I’d be here when you wake up. Won’t do something stupid, if that’s what you are worried about.’
‘I don’t like how put together you sound.’
Ananya laughed that distant laugh again. It sounded so bitter and unpleasant to Roma, she never wanted to hear that sound again.
‘Want me to bawl my eyes out? That would be a natural & healthy reaction?’
‘Yes. That’s how I’d know it has hit you.’
Roma responded without missing a beat. She knew Ananya had this internal way of dealing with things but even then this felt messed up.
Ananya didn’t know how to articulate to her friend anymore. The tears were just not coming. The absolute sense of distraughtness and betrayal she should feel right now was just not happening. Maybe, maybe, a part of her always knew this would happen & was prepared for this? Maybe that’s why she was being able to disassociate herself from the situation and look at it so dispassionately?
‘Go to sleep Roma. You’ve been up all night. And remember - don’t contact him at all. No message, no call, just nothing. Don’t say anything to him. Maybe he’s even blocked us by now.’
It was part of his modus operandi. Ananya won’t be surprised.
Roma could see what Ananya was doing. The hurt was making her think of the worst and be prepared for it so even if that happens it doesn’t hurt her further. And Roma couldn’t blame her for acting this way. Because the pictures were damning, as were the eyewitness accounts.
She hated herself for pushing Ananya into his arms. The first date, her hesitation before she slept with him, all of that was dancing in Roma’s head, making her feel responsible for the hot mess her friend was in. Despite being aware of her emotionally fragile state and baggage from her previous relationship, Roma had still urged her to give it a go. Because she herself would have given it a go. But Roma should have thought of what was best for Ananya and not how she would respond to such a situation. She had failed as a friend, and Ananya was paying the worst possible price.
‘I’m so sorry babe. I really am.’
‘Stop that right now. You didn’t know him.’
‘I should have known.’
‘Hindsight is a bitch, ok? And guess what - I actually did know this is how he was. Because he told me. In his own words. With examples. But I still somehow convinced myself that I’d be the girl he’d change himself for. How delusional of me. Men like that don’t change, not really, I should have known. If anything, it’s my fault for still going ahead with it despite knowing everything about him.’
‘How about saying IT’S HIS FAULT? Coz that’s the only fucking thing that’s absolutely undeniable.’
‘Sure.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Look we can say whatever. But he’s not the one getting hurt. Maybe he’s still with…with her….right now. Having the time of his life. The only one responsible for my decisions is me. Can’t expect anyone else to make those calls or hold my hand through those. Especially when I knew everything about him. So you can say whatever and blame whoever but it was my decision and I have to live with it. That’s how it is in life. Ultimately you are on your own.’
‘You’re scaring the shit out of me Ananya. You’re not sounding ok.’
‘Actually I’m quite ok. Thinking clearly & straight. Maybe should have done that earlier but it is what it is. Now go, we’ll speak in a few hours. Don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl, I can handle this.’
Roma had no doubt that Ananya was strong when she needed to be. But there is a time to be strong and a time to have a complete meltdown. She should be having a meltdown right now and not vice versa. But, the best Roma could do in this situation was to be there in whatever approach her friend took.
‘I know you can. I know you will. Talk to you in a few hours, yeah?’
‘Yes. Bye.’
‘Bye babe.’
When Ananya hung up, she didn’t know what to do with herself the next second. Looking at her phone anymore made her pukish. Staying away from it made her anxious. Watching something on OTT or just lying in bed made her dizzy.
Other than Roma, no one else close to her knew about Jude. And she didn’t want to bother her friend beyond a point either. Roma was meeting Chris after 6 long months and it was Christmas for crying out loud. Why ruin it for others just because her life was fucked up right now.
There was no one else to talk to. Which, in hindsight, was a silver lining. No one else would know what a royal fool she had made of herself. She could almost picture her cousin scoffing at her for trying to be in a ‘relationship’ with a playboy footballer who claimed to want to change for her. That only happened in rom-coms, not in real life. Thing is, she knew that. Very well. But still could not resist him. Solely her fault.
The face of that girl kept flashing in front of her eyes - Ananya couldn’t get her out of her head.
Then she did something she wasn’t proud of. That she absolutely should not have done. In a weak moment, she found that girl’s Insta and went through her pics.
She was stunningly beautiful. Perfect features. Perfect figure. Perfect hair. Perfect style. Gorgeous from head to toe. The kind of girl who would look perfect on Jude’s arm. The kind of girl Jude would want to show off to the world. Definitely the kind of girl he’d love to take to bed. Given their history and the fact they were on/off for ~2 years or so, they would have explored pretty much everything intimate together. She would have satisfied Jude in ways Ananya couldn’t even imagine.
It made sense for Jude to want to be with her. To go back to her. It was logical.
Why was it making Ananya’s head spin then?
She couldn’t be alone with her thoughts, not right now. Even roaming the streets in this chilly winter morning was an acceptable alternative. At least it would numb her, in more ways than one. And she set out to do just that.
Unaware of the absolute carnage he had caused, Jude was passed out in his bed. His team had obviously seen the article and images, as had his parents. The strategy was going to be no comment, as always; it would die down in a few days or a few weeks, as was the norm.
Denise knew Jude had returned in the early hours of the morning and no good would come from speaking to him at this time. So no one had bothered to wake him up. His phone was burning up with messages from friends and teammates, but he was too deep in his drunken stupor.
No one in his close circle knew why this would be catastrophic for Jude or unlike any previous tabloid pieces on him. No one other than Jobe.
When Jobe woke up around 9:30 am, from the constant notifications, he stared at his phone in disbelief. Then, he ran to Jude.
Not bothering to knock or anything, he breezed past his brother’s bedroom door to find him face down on the bed. Drooling in his sleep. The clothes & shoes from last night thrown around the room.
Jobe shook his arm. No response.
Then he shook him harder. Jude whined loudly.
‘Go away.’
‘Stop being a brat & wake the fuck up. Right now.’
That got Jude’s attention. Because Jobe rarely took that tone with him.
Rubbing his eyes, still half disoriented, he sat up on the bed.
‘What is it?’
Jobe just threw his phone in Jude’s lap.
And the colour drained from Jude’s face. In real time.
Frozen, wide-eyed, he stared at the photo on the screen. A million thoughts scrambling in his head yet not a single coherent one coming out.
‘Shit. No no no GOD NO.’
Jude looked up desperately at his brother, who was looking back intently with his arms crossed, trying to get a read on him.
‘See the rest of it.’
Jobe said plainly; his tone cutting through Jude’s mumbling sounds.
When Jude did, he almost wished he hadn’t. Every image, every caption more damning than the other. He could see what it looked like. And nothing was as stark as that ‘lip-lock’ thing.
The denial and shock made way to sudden rage at this massive invasion of privacy.
‘It was a fucking private club that charged buttloads for being so. Who the fuck even took these?’
‘So it’s true then?’
Jobe’s posture was neutral, but Jude saw the irritation in his tone.
‘NO. I mean, not all of it. Its….its not what it looks like.’
‘Cut the bullshit & tell me straight. Did something happen with her last night?’
Shoulders dropped in defeat, Jude covered his face with both his hands. Jobe knew him the best. And if even he had to ask this, what hope could he have with her?
‘It’s not what it looks like.’
Jude whispered, almost to himself, swaying from side to side.
Jobe eyed him for a few moments. It didn’t feel like his brother was lying, but he was guilty about something.
‘How would I get her to believe me, Jobe?’
He was still hiding beneath his hands. Hoping for this new reality to just vanish.
‘Do you want to?’
Jude grabbed his hand and pulled his brother down to sit close to him. Then, he flung himself at Jobe and Jobe’s arms came around his shoulders, hugging him back.
‘Please, not you too. You gotta believe me, please.’
‘I’m not the one you need to convince bro.’
Jude looked up at him then, with such hope & nerves that it tugged at Jobe’s heart.
‘I need to know this. Do you believe me?’
A long pause.
‘Yes.’
Jude went back into Jobe’s arms, as the younger boy patted his brother’s back gently.
‘Talk to her. Tell her everything.’
Jobe hadn’t understood what the ‘everything’ was but looking at Jude, he could tell there was more than meets the eye. His brother seemed to have fucked up somehow, just not as much as it looked like.
Jude kept his head buried in Jobe’s chest. He couldn’t seem to catch a break. This couldn’t have come at a worst time. Just when she was starting to….
‘Can you check my phone? See if there’s anything from her?’
He was too anxious to check himself, like there was some finality to it.
‘There’s nothing.’
Somehow, that was even worse.
‘Maybe she hasn’t seen it yet. It’s what, 11 am in Madrid?'
‘She has. I can feel that she has.’
‘Call her then.’
Jude’s fingers hovered over the call button, and finally Jobe clicked it for him.
It rang once. No response. They tried again. No response. One more time. Same result.
‘She’s got a roommate no? Call her maybe?’
Jude knew that if they had talked, then he won’t get a different response from Roma. He’d probably get a worse response in fact.
But he was desperate. So he tried it. Two full rings, nothing.
Then it hit him. During one of the movie nights at Ananya’s place, Roma had mentioned about her Christmas plans. One quick look at her Insta and Jude knew she was back in the US. She had been there all week.
So Ananya was alone in Madrid? All this week? That sucked big time. And he didn’t even realise that. Until now.
He looked at Jobe in despair.
‘Text her. Leave her a voice note. You can’t not do anything.’
When Jude opened his chat window with her, he realised that was all he had done all week. Just texts & voice notes. Brief. Hurried. But there was no time to kick himself. Time was of utmost essence right now.
‘Trying to reach you, dove. Pls call me back.’
Then he went back to staring at his phone, willing her to respond, while Jobe walked around the room, thinking what else could be done here.
One full hour passed. And Jude’s heart sank further with each minute.
Meanwhile, Ananya was taking a long walk on the Madrid streets in the mind-numbing cold. When the chill got too much to handle, she went to a nearby mall and sat at a coffee shop. Initially, the hustle & bustle around her was a welcome distraction. But soon it became unbearable. Happy families, cheerful friends and loving couples. While she didn’t have anyone right now. Their happiness was mocking her. So she took the long walk back home, delaying reaching that place to the extent possible.
Once inside, where she could feel her fingers again, she pulled out her phone & found 3 missed calls + three messages from her supposed boyfriend.
Boyfriend. Yeah right.
She read the first message and scoffed at the nick-name.
The next one had come 15 mins after the first.
‘Missing you. Pls talk to me.’
She scoffed harder at the ‘missing’ part. Last week was surely a unique way of missing her. She looked at the last message finally.
‘Baby I’m worried now. Need to hear your voice.’
This charade needed to end. She needed to rip off this band-aid. Maybe it would even give her some clarity?
Ananya stood in front of the mirror and took a long hard look at herself. She still hadn’t cried yet. Not a single tear. She didn’t know why.
Maybe because she had been an emotional wreck in her last relationship. So much that she couldn’t even recognise herself at times. That had not done anyone any good. She had vowed to be different in this one. To be the voice of reason & logic, not some sobbing little sap.
Was it really not normal? Was Roma right? She didn’t know, but at least this steeled up state put her in a decent space to talk to him and get it over with. To see what kind of story he would concoct. At least she won’t be a mess in front of him. She won’t give him the satisfaction of breaking her.
Just then, her phone flashed with a video call from Jude. She disconnected it & dialled him on audio. Jude nearly dropped the phone when she called back - with relief and with nerves.
‘Oh thank god. I was starting to get worried.’
‘Hmm.’
‘Let me see you, dove? Let’s face-time?’
‘I think this is fine.’
Awkward silence ensued. Ananya had no intention of helping him or giving him any segue. The least he could do was man up and have the balls to admit what he did. She waited for him to get there.
Her aloofness was confirmation enough. She had seen everything. Read everything. Suddenly Jude was at a loss for words. So he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.
‘It’s not what it looks like.’
And there it was.
‘The photos are doctored?’
‘No, but..’
‘The kiss didn’t happen?
‘It did, but…’
‘Did you sleep with her?’
‘WHAT?’
‘What part of that did you not understand? Did you spend last night with her? Are you still in her bed or on your way back?’
The sheer lack of emotion in her tone made her sound so cold. Distant. It hit him like a whiplash.
Jude had heard a similar voice before, when the earlier tabloid piece had come out. But this was 10x of that. This was his Ananya but not really. It’s like she had locked her emotions away, only letting her brain come to the fore.
‘I’m home, babe.’
‘Oh. Didn’t have a morning tumble then? Thought you really liked those.’
Jude shut his eyes tightly, and ran his spare hand through his hair. Absolutely losing handle on the conversation.
‘Please I’m begging you pls just hear me out ONCE. Please.’
He heard a sharp intake of breath at the other end. A decision had been reached.
‘Fine.’
‘We bumped into each other at a private club yesterday. Hadn’t seen each other in over 2 years so just got talking. Remember, we were friends before we started dating, yeah? She was mostly talking about football and how great it was to see my journey. Then we spoke about some school mates and what they were up to right now. Shared a laugh or two about them. That’s what you see in the other photos. It wasn’t some personal conversation about her & I or our time together. We didn’t go there, I swear.’
‘And yet you magically kissed after that? How amusing.’
Jude sighed deeply. This next part would be a lot harder to navigate, he knew that already.
‘We were drunk. Out of our wits. The lads wanted to go to another club so when we were pushing off, I leaned in to greet her and….kiss her goodbye….on her cheek. In hindsight should not have done that either but hindsight is a bitch. She….she turned her face at the last moment and…it turned into a proper kiss. But I swear I pulled away immediately.’
Ananya laughed that bitter laugh, the one Roma had heard a few hours ago. It turned Jude’s hands cold.
‘So she came on to you? That’s the line you’re taking?’
‘Well that or she was drunk & it was an accident for her too.’
‘I see. Which one do you think it was? Accident or she wanted to kiss you?’
The cold hands suddenly were clammy now.
‘I…I don’t know.’
“Do me a favour & take a guess.’
He knew she could sense the guilt in his voice, hence was doubling down. In a different situation he was capable of straight up lying & getting away. But with her he just couldn’t.
‘I-I think I may have… led her on. It may have looked more to her than what it was.’
Zero response from the other end. Just the sound of her breathing. He took it as a cue to continue.
‘Given our history…and familiarity…our proximity may have given her the impression that I was….interested.’
‘That, and the coziness and the inseparability, yeah?’
‘Don’t believe the tabloid captions, babe. You know what they are like.’
‘I’m gonna believe my eyes. I saw how you were with her. In every photo, not just THAT one.’
‘I swear I didn’t…’
She cut him off, having heard enough of his swears.
‘Why didn’t you tell me immediately? Why didn’t I hear this from you?’
‘It was late. I was drunk. Wasn’t thinking straight. Was still trying to understand what the fuck just happened.’
‘And you didn’t know there was going to be any evidence of it.’
Long pregnant pause. Then a small choked voice.
‘Yes.’
‘Hmm. So your intentions were all holy & pure but she misunderstood them somehow and came on to you and kissed you. And it only happened ONCE but somehow in just that ONE moment there was someone to capture that clear photo. Then you went your separate ways yet you didn’t bother to tell your current girlfriend that this gigantic thing happened with your ex-girlfriend. And now you feel you may have led her on inadvertently. That sums it up?’
‘I know how it sounds. I know how it would have looked to you but baby please trust me I didn’t want anything with her. Not for a second.’
���So you say.’
‘My friends were with me all night. I can get any of them to talk to you.’
‘As if they haven’t lied for you or covered for you before.’
They had. Many times. Jude had no counter to this.
His desperation was at its peak now. He could feel her slipping away. Rapidly.
‘You know what you mean to me. In your heart you know how precious you are to me. Why would I intentionally do anything to screw that up?’
She scoffed so derisively it cut through his soul.
‘Precious? Sure. That’s why you forgot about me all week, as soon as I was out of sight. And someone else was in sight.’
That was one thought Ananya couldn’t shake. That it wasn’t the only time they had met. Maybe the reason he was so MIA this week was because of that girl.
Jude was distraught. She was landing punch after punch. Every word piercing, laden with truth. And he had no defence to any of it.
‘Why are you talking to me like this? Like you don’t…care anymore. Like it doesn’t matter anymore. Like you’ve already decided I’m guilty and…and…whatever I say makes no difference.’
She refused to humour that with a response. It was self-explanatory according to her.
‘Don’t do this. Please I’m scared. Don’t pull away like this. I don’t know what to do, dove. You know me. You’ve always understood me. Pls one more time, pls try to understand.’
Understanding him was all she had done since she met him. His ways, his lifestyle, his schedules, his highs & lows, his moods, his past.
But not only had he made a mickey out of her feelings, he was also insulting her intelligence now by cooking up this convenient story. That was a double whammy she refused to take.
Her silence was making his pulse go a million miles per second.
He needed her back, right fucking now.
‘Look, once I am back there in a few days it will be fine, ok? We’ll meet and we’ll be together and you’ll realise it was all a big misunderstanding. Can’t wait to have you in my arms.’
She had no interest in being subjected to his seductive charm or manipulative ways again. Just so he could reel her back in.
‘I won’t be here when you return.’
‘Wh-what does that mean?’
‘I have moved up my trip to India, leaving in 2 days.’
‘Whyy? When did you…when are you back?’
‘Don’t know yet.’
‘What about work?’
‘Work from home is allowed under special circumstances. I’ll think of something.’
‘So you’re just going to walk out?’
‘Some distance wouldn’t hurt.’
‘Distance from me?’
‘From everything. But yes, mostly from you.’
That was a bodyblow which made him nearly tumble over in pain and hurt. Disorienting him to the point he didn’t know what he was saying anymore.
‘So you’ll run at the first sign of trouble? Not gonna fight for us? I thought you hated your ex for doing that.’
Boy, was that a low blow. She was fuming. If he were near she could have strangled him with her bare hands. After everything he had done, everything they had been through, every time she had given him the benefit of the doubt, the bastard had the audacity to say first sign of trouble? ‘First’? Like it was her fault they were in this mess. Like she was the one who had cheated.
But why was she surprised? Jude was like any other man, clearly. It was always the girl’s fault. Always.
She won’t give him the satisfaction to get a reaction out of her anymore. He didn’t even deserve her anger.
After a few deep breaths and the burning sting of her nails in her thighs, she recovered.
‘You’re right. I’m the one to blame here.’
‘Can you GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE FOR ONE FUCKING MINUTE and talk like a real person? A person with feelings other than sarcasm?’
Her patience reached its limits.
‘I think we’ve hurt each other enough, yeah? Let’s call it a day.’
‘Are you for real right now?’
‘Are you?’
‘Waittt. Please wait. Pls this can’t be happening. It’s ME. It’s US. How could you walk away from us?’
‘Bye Jude.’
‘NO. NO. Dove please just…’
Her resolve was fast breaking, as was her voice. Despite everything, she couldn’t see him in pain. Not like this.
‘Have a good…good one Jude.’
With that, she hung up.
And all the pent up emotion came flooding out of her eyes.
She cried and cried, falling face down on the bed, clutching the phone to her chest, trying to remember the sound of his voice, because maybe, maybe, this was the last time she had heard it.
Every inch of this house was filled with his memories.
The dining table was where they had their first kiss. The couch had been the place for endless cuddles, cozy dinners and movie nights. The kitchen is where he usually followed her into, as she tried to wrap up some chores or fix them a snack.
Her bedroom was the worst. So many nights cuddled up together, when he came to her post matches or out of city travels. Their first time had also happened here. The desk, the walls just reminded her of the countless times he had backed her against those.
The place smelled of him. She could almost see his face anywhere she looked.
And she ran. To the first decent escape she could find - a movie hall. A random Spanish language movie was playing, but at least she wasn’t in a place that felt like a graveyard of his memories.
She had sworn to herself to not break this time. No, she will be strong through all this. She will not be a weeping mess. She will not let her heart knock her down, not again.
She had been through this once, she was equipped to handle this.
Jude, on the other hand, had no idea what hit him.
This kind of pain he was not familiar with. When you have no control over your life, and your happiness / sanity is entirely in another person’s hands. The sheer helplessness of it completely caught him off guard.
Why did it have to happen now? Just when he was truly giving it a shot. When she was starting to open up to him. Why now?
He wasn’t even sure what exactly had happened, given how quickly things transpired and boiled up.
Jobe came to check on him a few minutes later and found him sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. He was quiet, far too quiet for Jobe’s liking.
He sat down next to his big brother, and put an arm around his shoulder. Jude leaned into his touch immediately, leaving his body loose against Jobe’s.
‘Didn’t go well?’
Jobe asked softly.
‘It was horrible. Nasty.’
Jude managed to utter, almost mumbling to himself.
‘Tell me what happened.’
Jude gave a summary and Jobe sighed through it. Once done, Jude looked at his little brother for some suggestion. Or some words of comfort. Or both.
But Jobe’s face was telling him what he needed to know. What he knew already.
‘It’s fucked up, isn’t it?’
‘It is bad bro, not gonna lie. But, maybe, give her some time and it’d get better?’
Jude kept shaking his head, staring into a void.
Ten mins passed by and Jude sat like that. Without saying another word. Just leaning into Jobe.
This was new territory for Jobe as well. He had seen Jude through a ton of lows, mostly professional, but Jude took those to heart as well so they turned personal for him.
But the thing with Jude was, he was always expressive. Emotional. Animated. Wearing his heart on his sleeve. Whether he was angry or upset or sad he would still express his emotion passionately.
It was very rare for Jude to get this quiet. The last time he’d been like this was when Dortmund lost the league on the last match-day. Jobe could tell how dire this was for him.
He pulled out his phone slowly and opened his chat window with Ananya. The pair had actually exchanged a few messages this week. Random stuff - books, shows etc.
But what could he say to her? Was it his place to intervene? He had only met her like 9 days ago. Only spent a few hours with her. Would it make things worse if he says anything?
Something in his gut was telling him to still do it, and Jobe believed in following his instinct.
‘Hey. Hope you’re doing ok.’
A few seconds later, he could see her typing back.
‘Hey.’
‘I’m sorry for butting in, I really am, but for what it’s worth I don’t think he’s lying.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘Because I’ve never seen him like this. Ever.’
‘Were you with him last night?’
‘No.’
‘Then you can’t say for sure.’
‘I know it. I can tell.’
‘You love him, Jobe. He’s your brother. I get it that you’d believe him. But I hope you can see why I can’t.’
Jobe didn’t know what to say beyond this. The writing was on the wall. Loud & clear.
Jude was still zonked out. This had gone beyond Jobe’s handling power. He needed the big gun here.
Denise got Jobe’s message and came into the room, finding both her boys sitting on the floor. Air filled with doom & gloom.
Alarmed, she rushed to them and Jobe stood up, letting Denise take his place next to Jude.
Jude immediately melted in Denise’s arms, placing his head on her lap.
She patted him gently, rocking him a little while Jobe filled her in about Ananya.
Denise wasn’t surprised; she had known all along something was different with Jude last few weeks. She had even hinted it to him once or twice but eventually let it be, thinking he’d come tell her when he’s ready. If he’s ready. But she didn’t know it was something deep. Something this deep.
Jude’s face and silence was telling her all she needed to know. About how much that girl meant to her boy.
She ran her hand through his hair, and stroked his shoulder with the other hand. Jude sighed in her lap, near tears. The moment reminded her of how Jude had cried while leaving Birmingham City 3.5 years also. Even then he had been on the floor, while she tried to console her 17 year old who was moving away from home forever.
‘Do you want to make this right, Jude?’
Her tone was loving, but not overly so. Because she knew how heartbroken that girl would be at the other end, far worse than her son. And her son needed to learn that actions have consequences, especially in matters of the heart.
Jude whimpered out a response.
‘Ofcourse, mum. I need her. What do I do?’
‘If you truly want to be with her, then you’d know what to do. Think what she would want you to do right now.’
And instantly, it hit Jude.
Ananya returned late in the evening, and was just taking off her coat, when she heard her doorbell.
Thinking it must be some neighbourhood folks coming to offer her Christmas pudding, AGAIN, she dragged herself to the door.
And found him on the other side. The man of her dreams. The cause of her nightmares. Jude fucking Bellingham was standing at her door, with a bouquet of white tulips in his hand.
...........................................................................................
There you go.
I broke the original idea of the chapter into two - Ch 16 and 17.
Else it was becoming a very long & emotionally draining one chapter.
This should give you more clarity.
As always, would love to hear your thoughts / comments / messages.
#jude bellingham#real madrid#bellingham#jude#jb5#jb#jude bellingham smut#jude fanfic#bellingham x reader#star crossed lovers#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham blurb#desi girl#jude bellingham angst#jude fic#jobe bellingham
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My Thoughts & Spoilers On Jude's Route
This will contain detailed major route spoilers. If you do not want to be spoiled, please move on because I will not be filtering my review. Also, not all spoilers and details are being shared. This is intentional. Bear in mind this is written prior to my thoroughly translating his route, so the translation may have some adjustments to this information.
So, I really LOVED it!! It's a very good storyline. Am I biased? Yes. However, whether you're romantically interested in Jude or not, I feel like you'll like in route in general. I do highly recommend reading his and Ellis' Past Records before his route if you can. His route does bring up clips from PR, but it's very minimal and there's a lot of context and extra details in PR that you don't get in this MS. I did my best with this, but my thoughts are still every where, so if it doesn't make sense. My bad.
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers....of sorts?, Slow-burn. Key Side Villain Characters: Ellis, Nica, Victor New Side Characters For His Route: Theodore, Gilbert Murphy, Oswald Simmons Love Language: Physical Touch (I'd just like to say that I called this.) Who Falls in love first: Kate First Kiss: Kate Kisses Jude First Snu-Snu: Chapter 24 Both Premium ends Jude's Fate Tragic End: He will die bearing a grudge against/hating the world. Route CW: Violence, Smoking, CA, Neglect, Mentions of a child's death. Jude's Age: 28-30. Jude's Heritage: Irish-British Jude's Curse: 13th Fairy (An endless cycle of hatred) Jude's Fated End: To die with a hatred/resentment against the world.
Plot: In a nutshell, Kate is trying to find one good thing to like about Jude prior to her term of FTK (fairytale keeper) ending, as per their first promise made together. If she finds one, Jude must fulfill any one request she has. Amidst working for both Crown and Raven, Kate tries to come into her own in terms of standing as Jude's equal, seeing the world as he does, and essentially saving him from not only own his death wish, but from being framed for treason against their country.
My thoughts: Jude's route is very lively, it's got a healthy amount of funny moments, action packed moments, and it's quite wholesome overall. However, it still retains some darkness in the sense of his past, and the fact that he's literally on this tightrope of life and death.
Kate: She is not afraid of voicing her thoughts and feelings, or speaking sarcastically to Jude. I almost died when I read that she stuck her tongue out at him LOL. There's this scene where Ellis tells her she's thinking out loud when she doesn't realize it, so she apologizes. A few minutes later after she greets Theodore, she sees Jude behind him:
Kate: ....And thanks for your hard work too, Jude. Jude: Can ya please stop greet me so sourly? Makes me wanna vomit my mornin' tea. Kate: I wonder if I'm under a curse that'll kill me if I don't say something sarcastically...
So, she is very courageous and gutsy, but she also thinks things through. There are times where she wants to act because she loves Jude and wants to be there for him, but she also knows not to act rashly because her movements can hurt him and Crown, so she opts to bide her time instead.
Out of all of her versions, I think she is the one who gets the most frustrated, the most angry, and laughs the most at certain situations such as getting locked in the office with Jude. She is very optimistic and kind, but not saintly kind.
She is a fighter. She learns self-defense and how to use a gun, a lot this takes place off screen, but she does develop this over time. Which is nice because it's more realistic.
Jude & Kate Relationship: Starts off very rough, and I say it's an enemies to lovers trope, but no one actually hates the other person, they simply don't get a long and it has that vibe. Jude is trying to kick her out of Crown, and Kate is trying to find something she likes about him.
Overall, they bicker and banter a lot. It's cute because in MLE Kate says, "If I say one thing, he has 10 things to say", and in BLE Jude says, "If I say one thing, she's got 10 things to say." They're adorable together.
One scene I loved was when Jude is being attacked by a group of thugs in his office after closing hours, and Kate barges in with her gun. She yells at the men to stop what they're doing, and then she tells Jude to step away from them. And so, Jude and Kate are having this full blown conversation as they're surrounded by these thugs as to why she is at his office, who's fault it is, etc, etc. And when the head thug starts to complain, both Jude and Kate say, "Shut up!" at the same time. This seems like it actually becomes a thing for them, they say it in MLE as well.
Were they childhood friends? No. That was an AU thing only, and a clever misdirection from Cybird. I think key take aways from Dark IF and Prison IF are that they made promises to each other, and that Kate tries to return to little Jude in Prison IF. Additionally, it does hint that two children were involved in Jude's past, just the other wasn't Kate, it's his sister. While some may be disappointed by this, I loved that it turned out this way, it surprised me.
Love Language: Physical. Touch. Lemme say it again. Physical Touch. While their relationship is a slow burn, it's not without it's tension along the way, and the pay off is hella worth in my opinion. I just knew that Jude was going to tear into her, and he does.
But more importantly, Jude touches Kate a lot especially before missions. For example, in BLE just before Kate goes undercover at a criminal organization that is using Raven products, she and Jude are in his office reviewing the plans, and while he does this, he touches her bare skin, kiss or bite her, and then after the mission he'll make love to her. Why? Because Kate made another promise to Jude earlier in the route that she would never die before him, so he doesn't have to suffering loss ever again. So, prior to any missions, he'll touch her up to a certain point like a promise she won't die, and then finish once she returns safely. I can't...he's so damn precious.
They love each other very very much, but Jude doesn't like saying the words. "I love you." Not because he's a tsun, but because they're easily said. So, he'll convey his love to Kate with words like, "I'm taking you to hell with me." If you read his side stories, he'll tell you just how much he loves her, and he admits that there is no other woman in the world that he could ever love like her.
Important Side Characters: Theodore: 21 y/o and he works in the sales department at Raven. Every one calls him Theo, even Kate. It seems that he's worked for Jude for a long time as well. He's very personable, and chatty, and he gets nervous about things like when the president forgets his custom fountain pen as he's on his way to business meetings. He even says to Kate and Jude that Kate is his type, and everyone is like.....um what? I'm really happy that Theodore isn't a traitor. I like him. I thought Cybird would use him the way that contract worker in Jude's first story event would be used. But no, he's just a loyal young man who cares about his job. I hope to see him again.
Oswald Simmons: He is the doctor who treated Jude and his sister after Jude memorized an entire medical textbook in a week. After Jude's sister was sold off, Jude ran to Oswald and asked that if he put Jude through school, let him lodge with him and provide him food, then Jude would pay him back with interest. Oswald agrees and in time, Jude does pay him back with interest. Oswald treats everyone equally, and he finds Jude's intelligence and ability to memorize things amusing. While he does not offer to take Jude in of his own initiative, Oswald does have a soft spot for Jude, as he tries to gift Jude a new pocket watch upon graduation and the success of his new company. He even tries to dissuade Jude from seeking revenge that will only force Jude into be lonely. In the route, he tells Kate to relay a message to Jude, that if he ever gets into a pinch to comeback and he'll give Jude a run for his money. To this day, Oswald still has the watch that Jude refused to take.
I honestly, hope that they reunite one day. Jude doesn't wish Oswald any ill-will (though he calls him a weirdo), and he wished Oswald a long life when he said goodbye.
Gilbert Murphy: He is a high-ranking officer of the British military who colludes with the Privy Council and a criminal organization to frame Jude treason and building military weapons. However, Gilbert truly does think that Jude is going to the moon for monetary purposes. While he is being an asshole for framing my beloved, his motives are to protect the people from potential weapons that can be created with Jude's research. Still, it's sullying Jude's innocent and pure motives. Still, he testifies in Jude's favor and takes the blame of the dead privy council member, as his own form of justice for trying to frame Jude due to his becoming blinded by his obsession to protect his country.
The other villains: Ellis: Ellis is Jude's right hand so he is heavily involved with the plot, especially in MLE. We know about Ellis.
Nica: Darius asks him to investigate Jude, so he does. Twice, he offers information to Jude that he's gathered after he lets him know he's aware of what he's building.. The first time, he tells him that a part from the criminal organization Jude has already been dealing with, the British military want his plans too. And wouldn't it be something if they teamed up to get Jude's research. He asks if he can snatch the robin away from Jude, but Jude says she doesn't belong to him, and no matter whom she dated she belongs to herself.
Nica leaves the bar after getting scolded by Jude, but prior to that, he tells Jude that the robin is in the most danger because she's around him. A few chapters later, Nica appears again and tells Jude that his assumptions based on the previous information given have come true, and because he didn't let go (of Kate), he's letting her know the facts. After he explains the situation to her, he tries to whisk her away on a date, but Kate declines. While Nica is a "playboy", it seems that he does care for Kate's well-being.....I am letting my current knowledge of his past events, and bond stories influence me by saying this.
At any rate, at the end of BLE, Darius asks Nica why he follows his orders so complicitly, and Nica says it's because he's on the winning side, and to him, Darius will be or is the winner. Darius is satisfied with this, and when he leaves Nica looks at his palm and says that he will be the happiest someday. It's already been established that becoming the happiest person is important to him, but this has now been reinforced.
Victor: Lore crumbs are very little, but what we do know is that when Kate asks him if he is angry, he tells her that he's forgotten loneliness a long time ago.
Further, when he approaches Jude and asks if Jude is hiding something from him and Crown, he tells Jude he has the means to help him. Jude asks if Victor isn't the one hiding something, and remarks that's why Harrison hates him so much because he knows he is lying. Victor simply smiles and stays silent. Upon leaving his study, Victor does tell Jude no matter what, he doesn't want their freedom disturbed and those are his true feelings.
Further, Victor later tells Kate in the BLE that when Jude says he abuses his power, Jude wasn't lying about that. Later in chapter 24, all of Crown are gathered together in front of her Majesty the Queen for a very important meeting. Victor speaks saying that they wish to grant Kate the position of fairytale keeper permanently, and when Jude finds out, he leaves angrily. In the middle of all this, the Queen never utters a word.
I don't think we learn anything new that we weren't aware of before with Victor to be honest, unless I missed something while reading. But, it's nice to know that we should see something big for his route. We better for how under wraps his lore is kept.
Jude's age: He can't be any older than 30 because in his Past Records he definitively says that he is five years old. In the MS, Oswald states the events he recounted to Roger and Kate took place over 20 years ago. Kate reason's that if it was 20 years ago then Jude had to be under the age of 10. I think he's 28-30.
Jude's Curse: Jude's curse was born when his heart was completely broken, and he vowed to get revenge on those who made him and his sister suffer. It's manifestation was described as a black flame of hatred in his heart. Essentially, Jude has entered a vicious cycle of hatred that never really ceases. Jude fuels this cycle by acting in a way where people want to get revenge on him, and a part of that is because he want's to die.
Jude's Fated End: Jude is fated to die bearing a grudge/resentment/hatred against the world. Jude himself says that his death will not be an honest one. Some have made comments that his fated end is a bit underwhelming, but I am pleased that Cybird left Disney alone, and stuck with Grimm's ending for the 13th fairy. I love it because no one knows what the fairy was thinking or what happened to it, it just simply disappears. This is something that is mentioned quite a bit in Jude's route.
In the MS there is a beautiful chapter with all of Crown gathered for a fireworks beach day, and while Jude is looking at the fireworks, Kate is looking at him. She thinks he is like a firework, beautiful, dangerous if you get too close, and then simply gone.
In BLE, Kate watches a Sleeping Beauty play hosted by local town children where she is staying and even though she knows that the outcome of the fairy is unknown, she is hoping for a different outcome. When the kids stick to the fairytale, it's then she realizes that Jude too - while still stuck in his cycle of hatred - will die. He will never know happiness, and disappear like the burnt body of cigarette smoke, like a firework in the sky.
In chapter 18ish, while Jude is being held captive and being tortured by the British military for information on Crown, he laughs self-mockingly and says that this is the perfect fit for him to die bearing resentment/grudge against the world.
Is Kate Trying to find a way to break the curse? No. Unlike Alfons and Roger's route, Kate is willing to accept Jude's fate, stay by him, make him happy and be his reason to live. That is her sole purpose, to make sure he doesn't die. Kate is obsessed with keeping him anchored to the world no matter the cost, and she even mentions to Victor that even though no fated ends have ever been avoided, that doesn't necessarily mean they are tragic.
Is Jude happy by the end of the route: Yes. Though he won't admit it out loud being the tsun tsun that he is, Jude's first glimpse of happiness occured when he told Kate about his dream and she didn't laugh at him. By the time he puts her to sleep and leaves her behind, he tells her that being genuinely liked wasn't so bad. And of course, Ellis asks if he can kill Jude in his BLE epilogue because it's obvious that he's happy......Jude tells him he can go die, and Ellis is like okay okay. FR though E, I need you to calm TF down.
The depth of his love for her is so great that he tells her that if she ever tries to run from him, she should just kill him. The reason is because she is his only happiness - she is the moon that he's been trying to reach for so long. He'd have no reason to live if she left him.....
Hmmm, here are some of my favorite parts in his route:
He tries so hard to protect Kate, from throwing her out of a window when a house is on fire and telling her she died in that fire so she wouldn't have to return to Crown, to lying to her and accusing her of making a 10,000 £ mistake and firing her from Raven, and other things.
I love that he even assigned people to watch her secretly after he's left her behind in a seaside town, with the intention of doing so for a long time since she is known throughout London for said involvement with Jude. He says things like, if she can live a calm, normal life, then that's enough for me. So, he's resigned to love her from afar.
He does everything in his power to protect even Crown from getting involved with his research so they aren’t crushed and hated by the privy council or others, even undergoing brutal torture.
Jude promises to make Kate the happiest he can before they go to hell, and there are many, many more things he does to endear me even more to him. I nearly cried when he introduced Kate to his sister at her grave he had made for her, saying she (his unnamed sister), was the only family he had left.
Even though he knows his dream of going to the moon is going to be difficult, he is more determined than ever to achieve it, because he's got two promises to keep.
Ultimately, we have our teasing Jude and Kate kicking ass together, and loving each other until their ends come.
Ugh, I'm gonna make myself cry. Well, this is it in a nutshell. Sorry for rambling!
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Everyone thank @harvestandhearth for this ^^
Heads up, i’m going with intersex danny as ectoplasm exposure and presumed afab until he was able to clarify which gender he was (toddler) and chose his own name as Danny for this. Tim is still a nicu baby, and the two were presumed fraternal twins until a lot later.
And possible trigger warning, while not in Danny’s POV talking about what vlad did with the clones does trigger an episode to a degree, but this is all third POV with it being others’ observing Danny trying to ground himself after a stressor triggered something.
And as a personal headcannon, since Danny can turn parts of himself intangible, a nervous stim for him when he cant remove himself and go where he feels safe is to pull at his arteries or nerves—never managing it but passing through them as a target is soothing as its a tiny challenge, repetitive, and doesn’t hurt him but he can feel it happening so it helps ground himself after a trigger.
Timothy Jackson Drake nee Fenton pt2
Cyborg had two options with the news Red Robin and Phantom were twins: update the League files and let the paranoid bastards monitoring them find out that way, or telling them.
He did have a front row seat to the Dick and Kori’s disaster era many of them blame Dick for.
He updates Phantom and Red Robin’s files, links them as “twins raised apart geographically, and very attached emotionally” and let the cards fall where they may.
If Dick wanted to bring drama to the titans way back when, he can discover batfam drama on bis own time and away from Cyborg this time.
—
Tim was getting ready for patrol after his Call with Jazz and Dani. Danny crashed his pre-patrol routine to looking over possible redesigns from ghost fashionistas on a call.
The hooded cloak concept is popular and growing on Tim.
Apparently giving him a dragon as his callsign was also popular.
He was liking some of redesigns as different birds. Rook’s and Cardinal having a functional glider built in. Someone with the call mabychan didnt go too far off his current look, and it was possible to add the flight functions. The aesthetic addition of gold or yellow onto the suit proper rather than just his gear was interesting enough to explore later.
Danny continued to advocate for Tim playing with ecto-infused tech to be less trackable and was ignoring the very fact ecto signatures are very trackable and are transferable to people.
He was debating the winged cape-hood combo when his work phone kept going off.
“So, cutting this early again?”
“They can wait. Now, do you think maby could mix the hood and wing cape into her design? Like, my hair is wrong but it’s not far off from what i was going for, i think these two,” Tim grabbed his favorite Rook and Cardinal designs and lifted them to show Danny, “are a good reference for how i want the glider part to work.”
“I’ll contact her and see what she says,” Danny raised an eyebrow as his work phone began to flash red as it kept going off. “You gonna answer that or…”
“They’ll live, i’m not on the clock yet, and they interrupted my cases so many times this week with these stupid team building exercises. Like, hoe, i have a life outside of my two jobs, shut the fuck up and let me live!”
“You sure they aren’t a johnny-skulker hybrid?”
“Positive. They don’t hunt me for my pelt. Most of the time—Hood and mini Robin might if they have a mental break again.”
“Why have i not kidnapped you home sooner?”
“You respect my boundaries and are eviler for doing so.”
“Clearly, my evil-self solo-ed the Justice League and affiliates.”
“I’m still certain if i was alive, i would have beat evil you’s ass.”
“Dipshit, i would not have gone evil i would be a shaky chihuahua following your ass everywhere if any of my idiots didnt die in that accident.”
“Fair. So, i get Val, Anita, bart, Kon will try but he may run late with chores at the Kent’s, Cassie is coming, and against the odds you get to face an olympic archer too!”
“Oh my god, you guys could stand a chance if Dad’s aim doesn’t obliterate your points. How did you get Cissie to agree?”
“I told her Greta’s on your team and reminded her they were still tied for who was winning a bet way back when. Then called her a dick for deserting us in our time of need.”
“At least i don’t have to worry Slobo.”
“He’s on kiddo duty while we play.”
“So strategic sabotage.”
“You know me so well.”
“Evil, evil bastard brother!”
“Don’t talk about our mom like that.”
“I was talking about Aunt Janet.”
“Never mind, carry on.”
“Nah, but your phone is annoying me so—“ Danny shifted and Phantom burst out of his screen. “Ancients that sucked!”
Tim rolled his eyes as Danny bemoaned his latest fire walls.
“Use real fire ants next time, Ancients Damnit!”
“No.”
Danny snagged his phone as he reloaded his smoke pellets. “Now what does—holy shit. Did you not tell them you’re co-workers?”
“It was obvious—why do they think I turned down the family dinner invites unless Steph was there? I need bestie backup to handle their shit off hours.”
“Oh my god, you didn’t. They think you’re a Bat when you’re a fucking Fenton. Holy shit!”
“I never hid it,” Tim defended, “They’re detectives, they dan detect.”
Danny began wheezing, curled around the phone and cackling.
“…did B send anything yet?”
Danny shakily passed the phone. Tim ignored the group chat and looked to his private one with Bruce and Alfred.
“Cave. Now.”
“I was unaware of your living relatives Master Timothy. Do invite them over, we have much to discuss. From, Alfred Pennyworth”
Tim groaned, moving to put the last of gear in place.
“I was invited by your co-parent, I’m coming.”
“Chaos gremlin.” He waved Danny to follow him into the elevator, away from his (relatively) civilian quarters.
“You say that like you aren’t one too.”
“I hide it better, when it matters,” Tim shrugged. “Blame Aunt Janet’s social chameleon lessons.”
“Deceiver of all,” Danny narrated with the utmost dramatics as they exited the elevator. “be evil with your whole chest or be the Good Twin!”
“Fuck that. Now get your ass in gear, you’re riding Bitch.”
“Hey, if guys at school are going to keep calling me Fentonia, I believe I can say you gotta stop calling it that. Clearly I’m the tagalong and a snack.”
“Nope,” Tim readied Red Bird. “You smell like a bitch and look like shit. Why Val likes you, the world may never know.”
“Fuck you. And we share a face!” Danny got on behind him, ignoring the offered helmet.
“I wear it better and dont have baby fat. Safety first lab accident.”
“You look like that brainless dipshit from Oz, but boned,” Danny snapped as he put on the helmet and waiting for Tim to go.
“At least when I crossdress, it’s not a question of which gender I’m presenting as,” Tim grumbled as they sped out.
“Eat a cock, you know they thought i was a girl for a year.”
“I mean—“ Tim took a sharp turn out of the garage and merged into Gotham’s traffic .
“Abort, no sex stories from my twin this early—.”
“It’s 9 at night mostly ghostly.”
“—And did you forget i ate your fraternal twin in the womb and we became identical in a case of severe Gray’s Anatomy BS?”
“Look, the Nicu was A Lot, and with how much medical mystery shit our family has going on, can you blame me?”
“Yep. Medical mystery, magical mystery, family curse and Fenton Luck must be kept
Separate big brother, or are you getting sennial in your old age?”
“Fuck off.”
“And once again, your 9 pm is my 4 am. I’m a witching hour girlie, Reddicus Robininous.” Danny snarked as they sped outside of Gotham City proper into the Rich Bitch greenery and woods.
“I blame Pix,” Tim groaned.
“Beanie taught me that!”
“But Pix taught you to say it.”
“She did, she did.”
The ride to the Cave was quiet, Danny frowning at the lack of stars.
“Leave it.”
“But i can probably pull it out of the atmosphere.”
“And put it where?”
“… my chest?”
“Nope, no self experimentation without scientist supervision.”
“Don’t you count?”
“I am a detective, combatant, chemist and hacker. I am not a scientist.”
“Sounds fake.”
“You’re fake.”
“I’m ghostly, and a member of the cloned kids club.”
“You ate my twin in the womb.”
“So i get to be evil!”
“No. I’m evil; I’m a ceo and help a lot of coverups as a vigilante for other vigilantes and a handful of anti-heroes.”
“Evil me took out your not-son and his friends!” Danny argued.
“Please, three separate evil me’s managed that, and came back to gloat.”
“Well, those three ceased to exist or evil last i checked. My evil me’s in therapy and still murdery.”
“I know—how’s Dan doing and are we going with older brother cover or cousin like Dani?”
“His call, and he’s… unpacking still.”
“Eh-hem,” Alfred interrupted as Tim parked Red Bird. “I believe we need to have a family meeting are your other family members joining, excusing this Dan?”
“No, they don’t know this is happening,” Tim answered.
“That,” Danny looked around at the… trophy wing(?) of the cave. “Aannnd Jazz would enjoy psychoanalyzing you all too much. So, is this a ‘check all the info for verification cautionary tale’ or something else?” He asked as he turned his attention back to the bat-butler. Batler(?)
“Something else, Master Daniel.”
“Just Danny. I chose it, I get to keep it in all contexts.”
Alfred moved to open his mouth.
“Only one to not call him that made him an unwilling teen parent,” Tim interjected before Alfred could start up on formalities.
Alfred narrowed his eyes. “Has this individual been taken care of?”
Tim and Danny shared a look. “Working on it,” Tim answered, rubbing the inside of Danny wrist before he could start tugging his arteries or nerves as a stress stim.
Alfred looked between them. “Anything else i should be aware of Master Danny?”
“Just keep toast away from me, and I’m not a solid foods person—can do solid food in shake form just uh, jaw tends to freeze and lock at random since my powers came in.”
Alfred hummed in response to that. “Soft solids are acceptable, yes?”
Danny slowly nodded his head, and moved his hand to the thermos on his hip.
Tim squarely kept Danny on the side he could better block the cameras from as they followed Alfred up.
“I made a batch of chocolate salted caramel chip oatmeal cookies. I will bring you a more drinkable version of the batter with a strawberry smoothie on the side. Master Tim, your usual will be beside your serving.”
Tim grunted in response, checking his phone and keeping a steady hand on his twin’s pulse. Which was far too fast for Danny’s normal… trying to appease Tim’s co-workers by masking the liminality, or stress response to casually outing himself or to Tim dropping the Vlad forced cloning thing (Tim’s helped him with so, so many nightmares of watching his clones die. The fact one was identical to Rim didn’t help. Tim being present and alive did).
Danny smiled at him. Mask smile—so hiding Phantom’s impact or ignoring the trauma trigger he pulled. Yep, Tim is winning the evil twin contest for the wrong reasons again.
Alfred turned to see Tim analyzing his twin, who was more flushed in his face than before… he’d have to inform the Wayne clan to gentle their interrogation regarding Master Danny’s existence. Master Tim’s explanation helped explain the name situation, however it could have been done without triggering the poor boy. Had Master Tim given him a moment, he would have found the explanation unnecessary.
The twins stalled at the threshold of the meeting room.
Tim waved at Stephanie, Cass and Barbra sitting in the same general area together as he moved further in front of Danny and switched which hand was grounding him and monitoring his pulse. Stephanie was gleeful to say the least, Cass unfazed and Barbra giving him a too knowing wave back.
Dick was sitting between Damian and Bruce, the three dissecting every move Tim and Danny made. Tim made sure to shield him as much as he could from the imminent psychological warfare Bruce was planning. Damian would likely aim for any potential insecurity once he got too aggravated with everything, and was likely to say something that could set off Danny. He only really went through his firewalls instead of waiting for Tim to let him in when he was having a particularly nasty day and needed some twin time.
Tim couldn’t fathom what Dick’s plan was. The one he saw as his found older brother would laugh at him managing to fool everyone one on a loophole and tell him how to further the ruse. But the one who took up the cowl was different from the brother that mentored him and helped with everything from girls, leading a team and homework.
Duke and Jason were to the side. Jason looked morbidly amused while Duke seemed curious, so no worries on that end for Danny. Operation: ‘air out Batcorp’s laundry if they start shit’ was a go.
—
Okay next round i will want an idea of how you want batfam members to respond to the fact Tim ‘hid’ his family from them—as that’s how these chuckleheads are entering this meeting.
Tim’s got receipts and Danny is there mostly to divide Tim’s attention and watch the show.
Tim Drake’s Coworkers (ft. The Fenton Family)
It’s not that Tim doesn’t like the Batfamily. He tolerates them just fine. Damian is great for sparring (if you like sparring with a tiny murder machine), and Jason’s brand of dark humor isn’t too bad once you get used to it. Dick’s a bit too much sometimes, but overall? Fine. Totally fine.
But the thing is… they’re just his coworkers.
And it never really clicks for the Bats until Danny Phantom joins the Justice League and everything starts unraveling.
———
The revelation comes during a League meeting. They’re strategizing about some ghost-related chaos, and Danny floats into the Watchtower, bright and glowing.
“Oh, hey, Tim,” Danny greets casually, giving him a little wave.
Tim doesn’t even look up from his tablet. “Sup.”
Superman looks between them, confused. “…you two know each other?”
Danny grins. “yeah, he’s my brother.”
Dead silence.
“WHAT?!” Bruce’s bellow shakes the entire room.
Tim finally looks up, unfazed. “What? Did you think I just spawned into existence?”
“You have a brother?!” Clark sputters.
“Two siblings, actually,” Tim corrects, utterly nonchalant. “Danny’s the younger one. Jazz is the older one. She’s great. Super organized. Kept me alive in middle school.”
Bruce’s eye twitches. “Why—why am I only learning this now?”
Tim shrugs. “It didn’t seem relevant.”
“Relevant?” Diana repeats, incredulous. “You’re the brother of Danny Phantom and it’s not relevant?”
Danny, who’s been munching on some ectoplasm candy, jumps in: “Honestly, Tim’s always been kind of private about his personal life. We just figured it was his way of coping with the whole ‘raised-by-rich-neglectful-aunt’ thing.”
“Yeah, about that,” Tim interjects, glaring at Danny. “Thanks so much for dumping me with Aunt Janet, by the way.”
Danny shrugs sheepishly. “Mom and Dad panicked! They thought you’d get ghost-napped next!”
“Uh, correction: Aunt Janet left me to raise myself, so that plan was awesome.”
Bruce, trying to keep up, interrupts: “Hold on. Your parents left you with Janet Drake?”
“They didn’t know she sucked at raising kids,” Tim deadpans. “And to be fair, they did call. A lot. I just didn’t pick up.”
Jason, who has been cackling this entire time, leans forward. “Wait, wait, wait—so you’re telling me that the Replacement’s entire family is a bunch of ghost hunters?”
“Yup.” Danny pops the “p” with a grin.
“You’re kidding me,” Steph says, borderline hysterical.
Tim sighs, clearly over it. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Jazz keeps the parents in check, Danny handles the ghost stuff, and I… stay out of the way. It’s fine.”
“FINE?” Damian glares. “Drake, you’ve been fraternizing with ghost hunters while working with a vigilante group, and you think that’s fine?”
Tim raises an eyebrow. “Dami, chill. It’s not like it affects work. You’re my coworkers. They’re my family. Separate categories.”
Cue collective Batfamily malfunction.
———
Later, Danny is chilling in the Batcave, feet kicked up on the Batcomputer, chatting with Alfred. The rest of the Bats are still spiraling.
“Tim, we’ve lived together for years!” Dick exclaims, sounding genuinely hurt. “How are we only your coworkers?”
“You’re not my family,” Tim explains, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Danny and Jazz are my family. You guys are my teammates. It’s different.”
Jason throws his head back, laughing. “Oh my god, Replacement, you’re stone cold.”
“I’m not cold,” Tim argues. “I just don’t think we need to make it more complicated than it is. We work together. That’s enough.”
Meanwhile, Danny is wiping tears of laughter off his face. “Oh man. Jazz is gonna love this.”
#batfam#tim drake#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp#fenton family supremacy#tim drake has priorities#imagine being called a coworker by your brother#jazz and danny are his real family#tim and danny are twins#let them be siblings and happy#long post#dcxdp
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Mini PAC n°1 - What will happen until the end of the week?
Pile 1 - Pile 2
Pile 3 - Pile 4
You can pick more than one! Just follow your heart!
This is my first time fully using Lenormand cards, let's see how it goes.
*This is a source of entertainment, your destiny is in your hands.*
Pile 1
Wip, star, bouquet, mice, crossroad. Dog, fox, snake. Heart, birds, bear. Birds, garden, snake.
You'll suddenly accomplish something that you greatly desire, but in order for this to happen you'll need to defend your position and status and not let other people bring you down.
This thing you accomplish will have the double effect of solving some of your problems and concerns, and it might make some discontent people who steal your energy leave your life.
You'll interact with several people who are your seniors or more experienced than you. Only one has your true interest at heart, but all three are smart and will teach you new things about how to behave.
You may hear positive gossip about you. Some will say you have more money or are more important than you see yourself.
You may feel, or hear the promise of, the support of a powerful friend.
Keep an eye open in the places you go to this week. You can have fun at a party or event, but some will envy how you look.
Your spiritual protection practices are working, you'll see how you're more resitant to evil eye now.
Pile 2
Anchor, bear, book, heart, cross. Wip, letter, mountain. Coffin, mountain, tower. Snake, wip, ring.
Some of you will meet the love of your life, your counterpart. Maybe it's a new friend. Regardless, it's a fated encounter with someone who's as or more mature than you, stable in life, very smart/went to a good school, this person knows when to shut up and when to talk; try not to get a wrong first impression of them because theyll like you more than they'll convey. Your guides are planning your encounter.
You may start to study something new that you've been meaning to for a while.You may have an insight or receive a tarot reading (can be on youtube) that will help explain your recent love problems.
If you think of an ex this week, it's so that you see it all in a new light and move on, or to remind you how to avoid the same undesired result.
You may receive an email postponing an event or listing extra requirements you need to meet to accomplish a goal of yours.
You need to rest and sleep well before a big day.
Beware of double faced people offering you things too good to be true, perhaps they want you close to them so they can ruin your life more easily.
Be smart against those who are cunning and trying to get rid of you because they see you as competition.
Pile 3
Man, book, rider, lily, woman. Fox, anchor, child. Dog, bear, tree. Tower, heart, anchor.
A relationship you already have may progress this week and this person may reveal positive feelings that they've kept hidden. You may feel that one of your connections originated in past lives.
A good week for school and learning.
To start a new venture, you need to be smart not work hard. You may take a significant step to solidify a new project of yours.
You have great friends and family. This week you'll express your gratitude to the universe for having them. You may even receive help from old friends.
Old relationships become stronger.
This week you'll see how much support you have around you, you'll also be proud of how far you've come and how solid it's the life you've built.
Pile 4
Letter,sun, heart,bouquet, scythe. Tree, mice, wip. Anchor, sun,bouquet. Key, woman,clover.
What a bright and blessed week of reaping your rewards. Someone will compliment your work, give you amazing feedback, may say they want to keep in touch for future endeavors or ask for your number so they can call you on a date.
All the good things you desire? This week you can be so close to them it's just up to you to pick it up and take it for your life.
You receive the yes, the answer you wanted to get.
Your crush will text you, or your partner may ask you out.
If you're in a relationship, texting can turn into sexting, or you'll receive a kiss or offer for a sexy night out of a sudden.
You'll get rid of energy vampires or bad habits that have been draining your energy and slowing you down.
You'll cut off junk food or reject a specific food or drink for the sake of your health.
You may go to the doctor or start a health treatment.
This week feels so good, that some of you will get married or become engaged. May start dating too.
You'll feel your spirit guides close and showing you good things about your future.
You reach the jackpot. Somehow you'll know what you'll have to do so you level up big time.
You may receive the opportunity of a lifetime. Big thing!!! Receive it.
You're so smart and capable that people can't help but admire you.
This week you'll know that you can do it!
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𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊 ~ Chapter One
Summary - 𝙄𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 Azriel's mate is banished to another world by Amarantha. To a world she never knew existed. To a different world called Zenithara. She finds herself being stuck in Zenithara for many years. And as more time passes it leads her to giving up hope to ever get back to her family, her mate. It changes her living in such a world. She never once felt safe in Zenithara. But one day when she is given a mask. She finds herself feeling safe and concealed from the world. It gave her a sense of strength and power. Which leads her to persevere in the new world she was in.
But what will happen when she finds herself being sent back to her old world Prythian, to her home in Velaris? What will happen when she is finally reunited with her family… her mate?
Pairing - Azriel x Female!Oc
Universe - A Court of Thorns and Roses
Warnings - Characters may be a bit OOC, Mature Themes, Gore, Death, Semi Smut, Violence, Language, Weapons, Mention of Past Abuse, Mention of War, Things Will Be Changed, Fluff, Angst, Some Sensitive Subjects, Mating Bonds, Scars, Experimentation, More Will Be Added If Needed.
Disclaimer - I do not own the series ACOTAR. I do own certain characters, and I own my mc. I do own somethings that are made up. I also got some inspiration from some movies and tv shows. So if you see anything familiar. But i own my writing and whatnot you get where im going and what i am saying lol.
Author's Note - i really hope you like this fic. i gotta say this fic is very challenging for me because of the world building around it and what not. but i do love it. i hope you guys do too. that is all i can think to say lol.
─── Zenithara ───
─── Sky City ───
Gleaming lights were now in the night sky. A plethora of luminous lights is what Annamarie's gaze was on. She was watching the world outside of the large window beside her. Lights of all kinds down below and surrounding her.
She could also see vast ships and smaller ships flying around in the night sky. In the sky of Zenithara around the 1st Sector also known as the Sky City.
Sky City being located in the sky on a vast floating island. Anna never understood how the Sky City came to be. She was never good at retaining Zenithara's history. It never interested her or grabbed her attention. And ultimately she never cared for it.
Right now though she was watching the lights shimmer and the ships fly. Lights of different colors flashing and glowing. The ships of all sorts transporting goods and people to locations.
She couldn't deny it was a beautiful sight. But it could be a bit overwhelming at times. As time passed though and the longer she stayed in Sky City she had gotten used to it. It has been a few years since Anna has been in Sky City now. And it was an amazing city but it wasn't her favorite Sector.
Middle Ground, the 2nd Sector was her favorite. It was where her favorite home was. Well one of the three homes that she made in Zenithara, in the 3 Sectors. The homes that were just buildings she stayed in. It would never be her true home. Zenithara would never be Anna's true home. Her home is and always would be her old world.
A place called Pyrthian, in Velaris. Where everyone she loved was, her true family… and her mate. They were somewhere she couldn't reach. No matter what Anna did she couldn't reach them. It seemed like they were worlds away. Well they were worlds away from Anna’s knowledge. Or more like Anna was worlds away being banished from Prythian.
Anna still remembers somewhat. She remembers bits and pieces of the days, weeks, and months that led up to her banishment.
She was in Pyrthian. In a place called Under the Mountain. A place ruled by a cruel female named Amarantha. There was a masquerade ball that Anna had attended as emissary of the Night Court. Her being a part of the Night Court's inner circle.
Being she was the emissary and it was an event to gain relations. Anna had to go. At the time she was attending the ball with her High Lord Rhysand. More so best friend or brother in her eyes. The event was pleasant… until it wasn't.
Amarantha the host had used the ball to her advantage. To execute her plan. A plan that was successful. A plan to steal a part of all seven of the High Lords powers. To get all seven High Lords of Prythian to submit to her.
Which Amarantha had achieved. She was able to take part of the High Lords powers and keep them submitted to her. And she soon became the new ruler of Prythian. With her ruling it caused a darkness to wash over Prythian. Amarantha truly was a cruel ruler. She killed and torture innocent people. She abused people for fun. She took advantage of many and abused her power without care.
Amarantha also liked to play with people and use them as puppets.The ones who she used most as her puppets were Anna and Rhysand. She seemed to get the most satisfaction with playing with the two of them.
But Amarantha liked treating Anna cruelly the most. It was because of how close she was with Rhysand. All the Courts knew how much Rhysand cared for Anna. She was like a sister to him. Everyone knew because they had witnessed their brotherly sisterly bond at meetings and events. Being the two were High Lord and emissary to the Night Court they had to attend such events together.
So many saw their interaction, and saw how much they cared for each other. Even when they hid their true selves from everyone. They couldn't hide the care they had for one another though. They were truly best friends.
Having heard such information, Amarantha used that knowledge and their bond to her benefit. To control Rhysand, which worked on more than one occasion. She would beat Anna black and blue. She would make Anna work as her servant. She would torture her with magic and much more. Anna took such treatment with her head held high. She stayed strong for her Court, her home, her family, for Rhysand, and her mate.
Even after a year Anna was still strong... mentally. Physically though Anna was weak. Her body and magic were weak. But she kept her head high. Anna knew she had to be and stay strong. Because if she didn't... Anna knew that the first time she'd let her head fall she would go into a downward spiral. She would break.
Anna wasn't going to let that happen. She wasn’t going to let Amarantha get that satisfaction. And she wasn't going to leave Rhysand on his own. She wasn't going to let him shoulder all the weight by himself. Because she knew he had a lot of weight on his shoulders.
But while they were Under the Mountain he didn’t tell Anna what he did or what happened to him. But Anna was always there for him and would let him lean on her. Much like he would let her lean on him. The two never really talked about what they did or what happened to them while Under the Mountain. But they did hold each other.
They would whisper stories and reminisce on memories together. Speaking of their family and trying to keep their memories alive in their mind. So they wouldn't forget them. Rhysand more than once used the little power he had as a daemati to show Anna memories in her mind of their family, and her mate.
Even though a year had passed and they were still Under the Mountain. It felt like eternity for the two. Which they had voiced to each other and agreed it felt like such a long time had passed. But really only one agonising long year had passed. And it was one of those many mornings that they were leaning on one another that they laughed. But it soon was different.
It was after a moment they laughed and during the early morning hours that Rhysand finally leaned fully on Anna. It was the first time he cried. And not being able to handle the weight, he told Anna everything. Everything that Amarantha had him do, and what she has done to him. Anna held him the whole time as he cried in her arms.
But when it was time they had to separate and go back to their reality. Anna still couldn't believe what Rhysand had been put through. She couldn't understand why she was being put through such things as well. It caused Anna to be stuck in her head the whole day. Going over what was told to her by Rhysand. Going over everything she has been put through.
That night was the night Anna burst. It was during a gathering and Anna couldn't take her glaring eyes off of Amarantha. Who sat on her throne with a smug look. Anna was furious. And most of all she was done. She couldn't take it anymore. The treatment. The torture. Everything. She couldn't do it anymore, sit back, watch, and be treated in such a way. And watch her best friend, or brother be treated like he was.
It was when Amarantha tilted her head back and laughed. As she ran her fingers down Rhysand's arm. Anna could now notice him tense. She could tell it was taking everything in him not to grimace at her touch. At that moment she was remembering everything he had told her, and all her own memories.
It was that moment and that night that everything changed.
Anna could feel her magic buzzing under her skin. And without realizing what she was doing she was taking steps closer to Amarantha's throne. Her glare never leaving Amarantha’s form. As she stepped closer her anger and adrenaline grew. So did her magic. As she stepped closer many around her could feel her magic and stepped away. Making a part in the crowd.
Anna could only remember very few words that were said... she remembered seeing Rhysand's face. He had a look of fear. She remembered his muffled yelling. Seeming to be pleading with her to calm down. But it was too late. She had let out a powerful burst of magic aimed at Amarantha. Wanting to kill her.
But after letting her powers free Anna had fallen to the floor. The glasses she wore fell from her face. Her light brown skin was pale, more pale than usual. She and Rhysand having lost the glow in their skin since being Under the Mountain. Her whole body was exhausted and she could barely move. Her vision was more blurry as usual without her glasses. But what made her fearful was she began seeing black dots.
Blinking, she tried clearing her vision quickly. Soon she was able to reach and find her glasses. Reaching for her glasses as she hunched over she was trying to get up. She was almost able to sit up when she felt a hand wrap around her throat. Then nails digging into her skin. She knew instantly who it was, Amarantha.
Looking at her Anna could see her with a snarl upon her face. She had cuts on her face, her hair was disheveled, and her dress now had tears in it. What scared Anna the most was the rage that was in Amarantha's eyes. Not being able to see such rage she looked away.
As she did Anna was met with the room in shambles. What caught her attention instantly was Rhysand. He looked to be unscathed but he was now being held back by many guards. He had tears in his eyes and he seemed to be yelling. Looking in his violet eyes with her dark brown eyes Anna sent him a small reassuring but meaningful smile. As she saw him struggle more. Because Rhysand and her knew that this was it for her.
Thinking of her demise, tears fell from her eyes. Because the first person to come to mind instantly was her mate… Azriel. The one she missed so much. The one she kept fighting for. The one she wished she could be in the arms of every night and every day. But she knew now it was never going to happen. It filled her with regret. She knew she shouldn’t have exploded but she just couldn’t help it. But now she was sad and angry at herself. But she was quick to shake the feelings away.
Quickly for the first time in a year she found herself opening that golden tether that connected their souls fully. An accepted mating bond between them. A bond that they cherished and held close to their hearts. As she opened the bond, the first emotions she felt were confusion, love, and urgency. It was all Azriel's emotions. She then felt a tug on the golden tether. A tug she knew was his way to tell her to tug back so he could follow it. So the bond could lead him to her.
"I love you so much," she whispered to him. She remembered saying in her head at that moment. She knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her. So she then sent all the love she could to him. Sending every bit she could. So much that she knew it may have overwhelmed him.
Which it did, it brought him to his knees when he felt her love. The love he knew she had for him. The love he knew she held back from him. So she didn’t overwhelm him. It was a feeling that felt like a fierce wind had crashed into him. But after a moment of gaining control he felt like he was soaring up to the clouds close to the night sky above. Close to the stars that shined so bright. It was a feeling he gained while flying and he loved it. He had never felt it in such a way. And he wanted more. It made him want to go to his mate and have her in his arms even more.
Though Anna knew she may have overwhelmed him she didn't care; she wanted him to feel all her love that she felt for him. She wanted him to know at least one more time. And at that moment she was grabbed hard by the hair by Amarantha. Making Anna look at her. Anna was quick to steel herself. Not showing any fear. Not saying a single word. It was then that she heard the last Amarantha said.
"Hm, killing you would be too easy. I'm going to do something much worse. I know how much you love Pyrthian, your family. So I'm going to send you far far away. Say goodbye to Pyrthian. Say goodbye to Rhysand. Say goodbye to everything you've ever known. Enjoy your banishment Annamarie Emissary of Night Court," Amarantha smirked at her.
Hearing her words struck fear in Anna as her eyes widened.
The last she saw was Amarantha's smirk upon her face, then she waved her hand. The last thing Anna remembered hearing was Rhysand screaming her name. As he tried to fight to get to her. A scream that haunts her till this day. Then the loud noise that sounded like the snapping of a whip and thunder behind her.
She was then being pushed back by Amarantha. And then she saw a bright white light, and soon darkness engulfed her vision. She remembers falling harshly on the ground, then fainting after that. When Anna opened her eyes she was in another unknown world. A world she knew nothing about. A world she didn’t know even existed. The world of Zenithara.
"Hey Auntie Goldie, we got a mission to stop a load from reaching the Abyss, the Arena. You up for it?"
Anna heard a deep male voice question her. A few steps from the side of the table she sat at in her room at headquarters. She knew that voice. It belonged to Evan. Turning she was met with a handsome well built, tan skinned man, with dark short wavy hair, and crystal blue eyes.
Evan was a leader. But Evan also was Anna's nephew. They weren't related but she earned the respect and title. Having been in his family for years now. Evan was one of the few she has gone on many missions with in the past couple years. While she worked with G.H.O.S.T. meaning Guardian Heroes of Sector Three.
A group of people who work with the justice system of Zenithara to clean up Sector Three, the Abyss. And sometimes Sector One and Two. But mainly the Abyss being it was the worst Sector of Zenithara. The worst of them all. The Abyss, the worst Sector, was located in the center of the planet of Zenithara. And the home of many criminals and horrible people.
It was also where a place called the Arena was located. The Arena was a notorious horrendous place. It was a prison of sorts for all the Sectors. Filled with many horrid people. People who have committed horrible crimes.
The Arena was a dark complicated place. It was never ending and had different levels to it. There were the holding areas where people are placed in holding cells. Then the judging area, where people were judged. People were then subjected to being experimented on. The worse the crime the longer the person is put through such treatment. Some people even end up dead from the experiments.
But there were some who ended up with abilities. The abilities ranged from little things like enhanced hearing, enhanced sight, intelligence. Then there were some with dangerous abilities. Such as being able to control fire, the air, or enhanced strength. There were many powers and abilities that were given to people.
But after such people survived the experiments, they soon had a collar placed around their neck. That would locate, read their body signatures, and electrocute them if need be. The collar being controlled by the Overseers. Overseers being the ones who controlled the Arena and observed everything that happened in it.
Many groups of people were then placed in a very huge vast dark run down Arena with a dome. Ten people in each group and five groups were placed in different parts of the Arena. And soon the Killer games commenced. It was kill or be killed in the Arena. Every day these people have to fight for their lives while being watched by the Overseers.
Once you were in the Arena there was now way out... unless you were the last one standing in the Arena. Once you win the Killer games you are taken out. Then placed in a living area for about a year then you had to go back to the Arena.
Nobody knew these things about the Arena. Only hearing little rumors. The only one to know the most was Anna. She was the only living person to ever fully leave the Arena. After being in the Arena many times.
The first many years of Anna's life in Zenithara was spent in the Arena. Being that the portal Amarantha pushed her through led her to land in the Arena. And it wasn't pretty those first years had changed Anna. She thought being Under the Mountain was horrible. The Arena was a true nightmare for her.
But the last years were bearable once she met a certain blonde Overseer named Katrina. The Overseer was the one to change Anna's life. Along with another contestant. It took her years to escape the Arena completely with their help. The Overseer having been killed while saving Anna and the contestant's lives while they escaped. Which Anna was and would be grateful for. Never forgetting her.
The contestant’s name who escaped with Anna was Evangelina, Eva for short. While in the Arena Eva and Anna stuck together. Helping each other. Eva helped with her high intelligence she got from experimentation. While Anna was the fighter. Anna having her fae magic enhanced after experiments were done on her amongst other things.
The two grew close as sisters and were unstoppable. The two grew even closer when Anna found out that Eva was in the Arena because she was framed for a crime she didn’t commit. Anna believed her. She could tell Eva was innocent. And Anna wanted Eva to keep that innocence. Which was why Anna protected Eva and did most of the killing while in the Arena. While Eva did more of the thinking.
But when Anna and Eva were able to escape with the help of Katrina, they brought all their knowledge to the justice system. But there was only so much the justice system could do. Which led Anna and Eva wanting to help clean up Sector Three and take things into their own hands. They were soon telling the people in charge of the justice system. And in doing so the justice system gave them permission to create G.H.O.S.T. Which was very successful, and still running strong after many years.
That is where Evan the II came in. He was Eva's grandson who took over G.H.O.S.T. after his father. Anna still helped the organization but slowed down over the past years. Having been in a state of grief after the passing of Eva. It took a toll on Anna losing Eva. Watching her grow old while she stayed the same. But Anna stayed by Eva until her last breath. Taking care of her and her family.
Some time after the loss of Eva, and Anna having nothing better to do, but get stuck in her mind. Thinking about all she has lost. Pythain, her family, her mate, Katrina, then Eva. As an immortal Anna thought she better do something with her life. So she started helping Evan more and more over the years. Which he greatly appreciated her help.
But looking at him now it reminded her of Eva. Which caused a wave of sadness to wash over her. Yes, he had blue eyes he got from his mother. But he had Eva's features, he then had her hair, and tan skin. Much like his father Eva's son. Who looked exactly like Eva, his mother. He was hard to look at at times. Bringing memories of Eva to her mind. But Anna pulled through like she always did. But right now a soft sad sigh escaped Anna's lips as she looked at him.
Evan was quick to send her a smile as he sat next to her. Which caused Anna to turn to the window. Before he spoke again after receiving a nod to his question. Which was Anna agreeing to go on the mission with him and his team.
"I got some entail that says that the load is leaving on a ship some time before dawn. When the lights dim. They'll be using passage A tryin' to get to the Arena from above," Evan explained to her. Taking in the information Anna pushed her glasses over her scared nose.
Part of three thick lined scars taking over her face. Starting from her temple on the side going across her face, and ending at the other side of her jaw. A scar from her years in the Arena by a person able to shift into a creature.
"Okay," Anna whispered with a nod to Evan. Her voice was soft and never above a soft whisper. Being that she never really talked anymore. Her voice left her more and more over the years. Because she didn't feel the need to talk much. The only ones she talked to were Evan and his father. Having nobody else who would listen and never wanting to talk to anyone else.
"Alright wanna relax for a lil then gear up together when it's close to time for the mission?" Evan asked Anna with a smile. Looking away from the window again and turning her gaze to Evan she smiled with a nod. She enjoyed spending time with Evan. He always knew how to get her mind off things. And from the little memories she could remember Evan reminded her a lot of Cassian with his antics.
"Awesome! Come on then Auntie Gold," Evan chuckled playfully with a wide smile. Before slowly reaching a hand to Anna for her to take. A soft giggle left Anna's lips as she took his hand. Letting him help her up.
A smile washed over her. She was happy to spend time with her nephew. Who was now rambling on about his day. Which she caused her to laugh softly when he made big hand gestures, speaking with his hands. She was happy to have Evan in her life and also his father. They helped with the loneliness and lost feeling she felt while being in Zenithara.
But little did Anna something was going to happen on this mission. Something that was going to change everything for her.
#acotar fanfiction#acotar x oc#acotar x reader#azriel x reader#azriel x oc#azriel fanfiction#azriel fanfic#azriel oc#thefaithfulnightwriter
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That is so nice of you honestly, i think the the ask was how a yan alucard would take advantage of his position of power in the village post season 4, and if he and the people(the villages people, the orphans, sypha and Trevor) around him would pressure his fem love interest/obsession into being with him because of all he has done for them making it very difficult to reject his advances with out becoming a social outcast .Like I can imagine a darker version of him proposing to his Darling in a public space surrounded by the aforementioned people and villagers for that very reason. And side note do you think he would turn his Darling so they could be together for ever?
A/N: Yes, oh my gosh, yes! A Yandere! Alucard would 100% use his position of power over her to gently “guide” her into falling for him. And I do think, that yes, a Yandere! Alucard would eventually try to turn his Darling. I like to think that it might take some extra dark magic, as he is not a full vampire, but that he goes down that path willingly for her (regardless of how she feels about it) because once he falls, he falls hard, and he cannot imagine living without her.
TW: Toxic/Manualpative Relationship, and Brief Mentions of Sex and Pregnancy
Yandere! Village Leader Alucard Headcanons:
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who always insists on “helping” his Darling, and whatever group she happens to be in. ‘Ah, you’re on kitchen duty today. Well it's a good thing that my Mother taught me to cook.’ & ‘Barn raising? Surely your tiny frame is no match for such a strenuous job. Here, allow me.’
You don’t like feeling helpless, but you couldn’t say ‘no’. That would be such a rude thing to deny the very Savior of your people.
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard, who is always so kind, and attentive. One who chooses to spend most of the free time he has at gatherings putting the spotlight on his Darling so that he may listen to her speak. ‘Hmm, what an interesting Speaker tradition, Sypha. Tell me, (Y/N), what sort of traditions remind you of home?’
You’re running out of things to share with him, it seems everything you could say about yourself he seems to already know.
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who memorizes every little detail his Darling shares, and uses it to his advantage, all the while pretending such occurrences are mere coincidence. ‘I found these flowers blooming on the other side of the castle and I thought of you. Truly? How lucky, I had no idea these were your favorite flowers.’ & ‘Hmm, now that you mention it, I believe Mother had an old dress in that color. Why don’t you wait here while I go and fetch it for you?’
The dress fits perfectly, huh. How odd that you and Alucard’s mother must have been the same size.
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who “lets it slip” in conversation with Trevor and Sypha just how madly in love he is with his Darling, prompting his married friends to conspire together, coming up with ways to make you see Alucard’s love. ‘I can only hope she shares the same affection, although I must admit, I am unsure of how to tell her of my feelings.’ ‘& ‘Do you mean to say you’ll help me win her devotion?’
Did Sypha always talk up Alucard like that? Trevor sure keeps talking an awful lot about being married, even for a newlywed.
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who always speaks your praises to the children, about how smart, loving, and fun you are so that when they call on him to play games, they’re always scheming to get you to play as well. ‘I must admit I’ve pondered over whether I have the ability to have my own.’ & ‘Don’t believe I haven’t seen the way you light up when the children call you Mother.’
Wait? Don’t they also call Alucard, Father?
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who insists on caring for you by himself, anytime you become the least bit injured or ill. He insists you stay within the walls of the castle for the time being, as opposed to in your cottage with your family outside. ‘I know the castle can feel overwhelming at times, but please, try to think of it as a mere extension of your home.’ & ‘I do wish you’d let me take better care of you, Darling. You’re too important of a person around here to be laid out sick so often.’
You didn't used to fall ill so often. What the hell is happening to you?!
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who makes a very public display of asking for your hand, one evening during a solstice festival. All eyes are on you as you smile, and you a faint chorus of applause as you accept the dhampir’s proposal. ‘It would be my utmost honor to marry you, my Darling.’ & ‘You are making me the happiest man alive.’
Not as if you could say no with all the other villagers and your family watching. They want this for you too, so, this marriage must be a good idea, right?
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who arranges for you to be wed as soon as possible. One of the castle’s largest halls is transformed into a makeshift chapel as Sypha performs the wedding rites. Greta acts as your Maiden of Honor, while Alucard slots Trevor in as his Best Man. All of the villagers- your family included- are there to watch the ceremony, with laughter and joyful tears in their eyes. ‘I know it’s not a church wedding, Darling. But you understand, I doubt we’d find a Priest anywhere willing to marry the son of Dracula.’
You look like royalty in the dress Alucard provided you, so you try to ignore how the cuffs of your dress’s bishop sleeves feel like weighted shackles upon your wrists.
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who promises you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex. He’d know of course, silly! His Mother was a Doctor after all. Just let him love you… No, let him worship you, mind, body, and soul. ‘Besides, I’m quite certain dhampirs are sterile. It would take a miracle for us to make a child together.’ & ‘Even if it were to happen, it’s not the end of the world, is it? We are wedded after all.’
If that’s not a goal, why does he insist on always flipping you over so that he can watch your expression as he finishes inside you?
A Yandere! Village Leader Alucard who swears you will make incredible parents, and he could not be happier to have a large family with you. You have so much knowledge and wisdom to impart, creating this legacy with him is a great act of service for the world. And Alucard promises, as soon as you’re done having his children, maybe two or three, he’ll change you into a vampire so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor at his side- forever. ‘Just imagine it, Darling. Neither one of us will be lonely ever again.’ & ‘We’ll be each other’s soulmate for all eternity.’
Surely, eternity isn’t all that long.
Right?
A/N: I hope you liked it! I was trying a different style/format here, so I apologize if it isn't what you expected. My mom’s having surgery this week, so I didn’t get as much writing/editing time as expected.
Please Like, Leave and Comment, and REBLOG if you enjoyed it!
Like My Work? Wanna See More? Tip Me on Kofi! <3
#adrian tepes x reader#alucard castlevania#alucard x reader#yandere alucard x reader#yandere alucard#castlevania x reader#castlevania alucard#alucard#adrian tepes#castlevania#hc#yandere#tw: yandere
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🔞Protective| Arthur hill
[You and Arthur have been dating for around 4 months now, although sweet, he has a very protective side when it comes to you, he'd do anything to protect you from anything no matter what, a night out with the boys proves this]
The night was just starting out, you all opted for a small live music place to kick off with, Arthur loves anything music related to appreciate any talent that may grace the stage. You head to the bar and George asks what you'd like, whenever you're out you decide to pay in rounds one at a time, making it fair. "I'll just have a vodka like and soda please" you say with a soft smile as he nods his head, asking everyone what they wanted. You spot a table in the corner of the room, near the singer which was free you decide to take it so you could enjoy the entertainment. Arthur stayed at the bar to help George carry the drinks as-well as Chris. You place your bag down as you slide into the chair, awaiting everyone to sit down. They make their way over as they set the drinks down "Thankyou George" you say as he hands you your drink "you're welcome" he responds, Arthur slides next to you, placing a hand around your waist as the singer begins. The hums of the speak vibrate through your body as you feel the music through your fingertips "he's really good isn't he" you say to Arthur "yeah, so good!" He responds with a smile, the first set of the singer finishes as you get up to go to the bar, it was your round. You ask everyone if they want the same and they nod; Chris comes over to help as Arthur goes to speak to the singer, having a similar career and all.
As you placed your drink order you catch a guy at the end of the bar staring at you, you try to ignore the eye contact he was forcing as you look down to the bar "you okay?" Chris asks "yeah, that guys just staring me down as if he's undressing me" you say back to him as he glances over to look at him "don't take no notice, he looks hammered and you're with us anyway" he says reassuring you. Just then the guy arises from his seat and walks over "this your fella?" He asks gesturing to Chris "no, he's my friend" you reply with no interest in continuing the conversation "oh, that's good then" he replies with a snicker "no it's no mate, her boyfriends over there so you may aswell save your breath" Chris says bluntly pointing to Arthur; "who him?" He laughs in response "I'd be better for you" he says with a dark tone, his hand stretching out, George notices the tension and comes over "everything okay over here?" He says, Arthur hears George's question and tell the singer he will be back and makes his way over. "What's going on?" He says snaking his hand on your waist "nothing mate, she was just gonna tell you we're off home" the bloke replies, George turns around "you what? You're having a laugh aren't you?" He says, Arthur's eyes flash with red "I don't think she is mate, so I'm not sure what kind of delusions you're trying to feed by saying that" Arthur spits, his lip curling. In the nick of time the waitress fetches your drink order as if a guardian angel was watching the altercation unravel.
"Thankyou darling" you say to the waitress, ignore the testosterone circling you like a hawk; "come on baby help me with these drinks" you tap Arthur on the shoulder, snapping him out of the anger he was feeling. As his brows unfurrow, turning to help. The guy just sits there and smirks "do what she says pal" he responds "will you shut the fuck up?" You say with a sharp tone, fed up of his arrogance. George makes Arthur walk away back to the table as you do so yourself. Chris looks at you with a concerned look "you okay?" He says "yeah I'm fine, he was just, weird" you reply "yeah well he's lucky" Arthur says with a clenched jaw as you place a hand on his, trying to diffuse the tension building up inside of him. Just before the act starts you go to the toilet quickly, on your way back you see the guy staring at you once again, his eyes sending a shiver down your spine. You walk back to the table as you lean over it "can we go?" You ask the boys, just before they respond you hear a whistle come from the other side of the bar, Arthur's eyes ignite and his jaw becomes tight again "yes we can, because he is really pushing it now" he stands up, as the boys follow suit, you walk in the middle of them all, Arthur at the front. "Going so soon pretty?" The man taunts towards you, Arthur stops in his tracks as he grips the man by the shirt "you're a disgusting man that has no respect, I suggest you apologise" Arthur spits, George goes over to get Arthur off the man "Arthur come on leave it, not infront of y/n" he says as Arthur looks towards you, your face drip white in nervousness as Arthur shoves the man into his seat "next time you won't be so lucky" he turns on his heels as Chris walks out with you. George calming arthur down outside, "sorry y/n I just hated that, he had no right to speak to you like that" he says with a sigh "it's okay Arthur, I know you were only looking out for me" you say going over to hug him. He smiles as you place a kiss on his lips "maybe we go back to the flat for a few drinks?" You advise the group and they nod, as you make your way to the flat.
-
🫶🏻
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The only way i could see Canon Katara interested on Zuko is if he somehow did his Heel Turn long before the start of the show and has become a freedom fighter akin to Jet, but without the murder.
Obviously, this is impossible, there is no way that a young Zuko could become a better person without his exile, his enviroment is just not place that encourage
Sorry for the last question i send, i made a mistake and send it sooner than i wanted.
But anyway, what i tried to say that, even if that ridiculous scenario that i propossed where to happen, Zuko would be a very different characther from his Canon self. Plus even if he has become Katara's type, there is no way to know if Katara would be Zuko's type on that scenario lol
***
Once again, guys: pre-scar and exile Zuko was already dealing with a ton of bagagge, and post-redemption Zuko was already a "freedom fighter but without the murder." Katara saw him at this worst during all of book one, at his somewhat less of dick moments (Ba Sing Se), and at his best after his redemption - and she wasn't attracted to him at any of these points.
"I don't support war, genocide and/or murder" is the bare minimum for Katara to not want somebody dead. Compassion is an obligation, not something that immediately makes a guy be a potential boyfriend in her eyes.
We have the answer of what would take for her to be into Zuko, and that answer is not "He can't be a villain anymore" but rather "He can't be Zuko." He can't be a dork that says the wrong thing in a funny way, she'd get mad. He can't want to live in the Fire Nation, there's nothing there for her. He can't be as stubborn as she is, otherwise they're gonna fight (just look at how many times she fights with Toph). He can't take himself too seriously, she'll just mock him for it (ask Sokka).
She wants the guy that literally sweeps her off her feet to charm her, or the guy that notices she's feeling left out at a party, dances with her, and smoothly tells her to ignore everyone's eyes on them because "it's just you and me." She would NOT react well to a guy that screams "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" in the middle of their date (just see how well it worked for Aang when he went "I mean, if it was between kissing you and dying")
And we do know what Zuko's type is: Mai. Gloomy yet sweet, bitchy yet unbothered, out-spoken yet doesn't feel she owes anybody any explanations ever, can handle herself but likes being pampered, apathetic yet caring, has nothing prove yet can be quite arrogant, stubborn yet understanding, aloof to the world in general yet obviously crazy about him in particular.
Zuko might catch brief feelings for someone like Jin (nice, sweet and cheery), but long-term he needs someone as messy as himself so he can relate, but with the kind of mess that balances him out instead of encouraging his worst traits - the yin to his yang. He was not kidding when he said "You're so beautiful when you hate the world"
Katara loves life in general too much for her and Zuko to relate to each other in that regard. She doesn't even know what the word "apathy" means. She doesn't have an "unbothered" bone in her body. Girl went through a ton of trauma and still wasn't anywhere near gloomy, quite the contrary. And she has a bad temper, just like Zuko, which they both know is a bad combo, hence them surrounding themselves with more chill people (Aang, Iroh, Hakoda, Mai, etc).
They're not each other's type AT ALL, hence there being no spark when they become friends. Hence them being not just embarassed, but weirded our and uncomfortable when people mistake them for a couple.
There's a reason zutara fics re-write their personalities completely: there's no other way to force them together because they're fundamentally incompatible. The real Zuko would NEVER be attracted to the real Katara, and vice versa.
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Finished a book for the first time in an embarrassingly long time!!!! “If I had your face” by Frances Cha!! Not that u asked but it follows four women living in one apartment in South Korea and deals with beauty standards, class, and feminism and if ur looking for a good book that is entertaining as well as thought provoking I would very much recommend it !!! I will post the synopsis on the back cover below in case anyone is interested!!
U guys should read it because I’m excited that I finally fucking finished a book after god knows how long. Do you know how much I had to be invested in this book to finish it in a week or two? That may seem like a long time to finish one book to some of you but my attention span is bankrupt and my reading comprehension is sometimes so bad that I’m functionally illiterate so u know it’s a certified banger. It’s a little depressing but it does end on a hopeful note I think!!
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In the Upper City Temple District of Baulder's Gate, on a cool and rainy day, a Selûnite monk finds a peaceful respite in his travel to the city at the Monastery of Helm, where he meets with the head monk of physical training (one of the leaders of the monastery) and one of his best pupils (and often assistant when she is not out wandering.) The monastery itself, a bustling enclave full of practitioners, students, and visitors, still has an aura of familiar, peaceful introspection about it, and their meeting over tea (a mild floral brew grown at the monastery itself) and snacks (small seed cakes and thin, crispy cookies also made there) is hopefully productive in whatever errand he has been sent for.
Farrow, a human man - is so in-tune to the flow of Ki in the world, that it overlays his vision in bright lines highlighting all living things (and many nonliving as well.) He blinds himself to the physical world so as to prevent migraines and confusion from the painful influx of information*. Zatavia (Tav), a tiefling woman, had been doing some training and teaching with other monks, but joins this meeting at her mentor's request, as he seems to put some good faith in her judgement and insight as well (even if she, herself is a little odd, darting away from eye contact, tail twitching (not in irritation) as they talk.)
Hector and Tav are interesting - both open-palm monks who take a lot of pride in the place they are from and where they learned to be who they are, and yet they couldn't have more different life experiences. Hector has lived his life almost entirely in a single place - ensconcing himself in study and practice. Tav, with an urban childhood, after years of monastic training, wanders the world, enjoying experience and freedom as she accomplishes various tasks for her monastery far from home. Tav is singularly a monk, Hector (eventually) branches his skills. Hector's faith and relationship to Selûne help inform his thoughts and action. Tav's extremely dim view Helm only provides her with an affirmed sense of self as her natural inclination is for fairness (she is far more chaotic good than lawful neutral - as is, quite honestly, the current thrust of her monastery. They're very 'one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws' and are much more into the protection aspect of the god.)
I think, perhaps, in this time-out-of-time scenario, they may have a lot to talk about. Hector Carlisle is @blackjackkent's 'Tav', and you can read a full rundown of his run here (he's also a Karlach romance <3)
*Sample below the cut:
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May I request more RoD Fuyuhiko and kidnapped Makoto? 😩
Oh boy, I've imagined this so many ways. Right now, I'm kind of into the idea of it being a very formal and dignified kidnapping.
Like, he's got that three-piece suit brand of villainy; he could send Peko to knock Makoto out and drag him home (and if they were close/dating in school, he does think of his home as Makoto's home, however complicated his feelings are now), but more likely he's sending a car to block Makoto's (walking) path and Peko climbs out and informs Makoto that the head of the yakuza would like a word and it's nonnegotiable.
Ideally (for Fuyuhiko), he does this before the Future Foundation gets to Makoto, but he'll find a way after, if needed. (And it's perhaps more interesting, story-wise, if Makoto has at least spent a couple of days with Future Foundation before Fuyuhiko can abduct him.) Whatever the case, he'll make arrangements to get Makoto alone, a car will pull up in front of him, and:
"Makoto Naegi," the gray-haired woman says. (Not like a question; it hasn't been a question since the killing game. At least, not a genuine one. It's so weird, to have other people know his name before he knows theirs.) "Your presence has been requested. The boss asks that you get in the car without making a scene, and nobody gets hurt."
"The boss?"
"You won't know the details until you meet the boss in person." The young woman shifts her shoulders in a way that subtly hefts the sword bag strapped to her back– which she hasn't yet reached for. "Will you come willingly and save the lives of the companions who have lost track of you already, or will you resist, be taken by force, and guarantee the blood of your companions is shed?"
Makoto's confused demeanor hardens, sharpens, the adrenaline pumping in his veins sending him right into trial mode, ready to argue, to push his way to the right answer.
But before an argument can form in his mouth, he takes another breath. And he says, "They won't be harmed if I get in the car?"
They will lie to you, he's been told. They will trick you. It's not like Enoshima's game; those aligned with despair have no rules, no honor. Especially not if they valued those things before.
"The boss gives his word," the young woman replies. "They won't be harmed."
If she's telling the truth, then he has to get in the car. If she's not...then she still has a sword, is the thing. And even without it, she's bigger and he's alone.
"Then I hope your boss doesn't squander his word," Makoto says warily.
"And I hope you aren't stalling." Strangely, the young woman smirks. The look she's giving him now is almost fond. "I've told you once before that you aren't good at it. But you don't remember that, do you?"
Before he can wrap his head around that, gunshots start going off somewhere.
Makoto's blood runs cold, at the sound of far-off screams. "You said they wouldn't-!"
The young woman merely sighs, rolling her eyes and drawing her sword from her bag as languidly as though it's a tedious chore. "They're early," she says. "Heads will roll for that. My master wanted you to come willingly. It would have pleased him a great deal."
Makoto does his best to run, but she strikes him with the hilt just hard enough to dizzy (and no doubt bruise) him, and while he's disoriented, she hauls him into the car and locks the doors.
She buckles him in while he's blinking the stars out of his eyes and nursing the sore spot. By the time he's steadied himself enough to try to unbuckle himself or reach for the car door, her blade is already hovering at his throat.
She's sitting beside him, also buckled in. The car has started moving– some faceless driver, divided from them by tinted glass. "My master would prefer that I deliver you to him untied," she informs him, "but I am permitted to bind your wrists and ankles, should you make it necessary."
"Who are you?" he asks.
"You don't need a name to address me, with only two of us here. And once I deliver you to the boss, there will be no need for you to address me at all."
"But who are you?"
With a single, almost imperceptibly swift motion, her sword returns to its bag. "I am the sword on my back," she answers. "Don't waste your questions on a sword."
He falls asleep in the car; it's a long-ish ride. He doesn't mean to nod off, but subconsciously there's an assumption that when the car stops, he'll naturally wake up.
This does not happen.
Instead, he wakes up in someone's private study.
There are bookshelves, a big wooden desk and cushioned chair. The lights are off, but there's a fire in the fireplace. Makoto is sprawled across a small couch. The gray-haired woman stands with her back to the wall and her hands folded.
And a small figure stands warming by the fire. His back to Makoto, his whole form shadowed.
"You know," the young man says, "I really didn't expect you to survive."
Makoto's hand finds the sore spot on his head again. (For some reason, he's thinking of Mondo.) "I, uh, get that a lot."
A breathy laugh. "I'll fvcking bet. What else do you get a lot?"
"...That I'm short in person? That I should've told someone about Sakura. That I should see a doctor, because that fall might have caused internal damage. That my voice sounded kind of squeaky on TV. That my eyes actually look browner than they expected, or greener. That Sayaka..." He trails off. People...say a lot of things about Sayaka. That they used to be a fan of hers but would never see her the same, that they were still a fan and they hoped it was okay with him, that they'd been rooting for Makoto to figure out her plan before...Yeah, they say a lot of things.
Why is he telling a stranger any of this?
Is he stalling, knowing this conversation is likely to get a lot less friendly soon?
It doesn't feel like it. He does feel the dread of knowing that this abduction is clearly not a friendly one; he heard the gunshots earlier. He remembers that. But something in the way the young man at the fireplace laughed, the way the gray-haired woman smiled, before...He doesn't know them, but it seems like they know him. Not in the way of the people who feel they know him from watching the killing game. Talking to them feels like talking to people who actually know him.
"That Maizono b!tch," the young man scoffs. "I could have thrown up, watching you fawn over her fake *ss all over again."
And just like that, Makoto's curiosity takes a back seat. "Don't call her that!"
"Traitor-*ss b!tch. I was glad she died first."
Makoto springs to his feet, but he's barely taken two steps in the young man's direction before the gray-haired woman has once again blocked him with the edge of her blade. "Sayaka wasn't a traitor! She never wanted to hurt anyone! That was just what Junko drove her to!"
"...And that's saying something," the young man continues, ignoring Makoto's interruption, "because I was really wondering what it would feel like to watch you die. What I would become, after. I was really fvcking curious. Still am."
Makoto's fear doesn't supersede his anger; it just shapes it. "I don't know who you are," he says bluntly.
The young man's head turns slightly, but other than that he doesn't respond.
"Who are you?"
"The kid wants an introduction." His head turns toward the gray-haired woman. Though Makoto can't see his face, the smirk is audible in his voice as he continues, "Only, suppose we like to be forgotten."
"I figured you were probably someone I used to know...right?"
Once again, no verbal answer.
"Both of you," he continues. "Maybe...from my time at Hope's Peak Academy, or maybe-"
"Did I say his *ss could speak?" the young man inquires.
"You didn't, Young Master," the gray-haired woman says.
"I don't know what you want with me," Makoto continues firmly. "Or, what you think you're getting out of bringing me here, so it would help if you'd just tell me." After a second of silence, he added, "If you're someone who thinks I killed Junko-"
"You didn't kill Junko." The young man turns to face Makoto, but the darkness in the room and the fire at his back still make it impossible to really see his face. "Junko went out on her own terms. You didn't even push the button; all you did was win an unwinnable game. And those dumb*sses sure were desperate to hitch themselves to a winner."
"Who are you?"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm still fvcking pissed off that we all missed out on Plan A. She told us all about the execution she'd put herself through if she somehow lost, but Plan A was always a surprise. She was so sure she'd win."
"Who are you?"
"But that's not why you're here." Suddenly, the young man grabs a fistful of Makoto's shirt and drags him close. They're face to face. Makoto sees golden eyes and freckles. "No, you're here because I was denied the chance to watch you die. And like I said, I'm really fvcking curious."
Before Makoto can conceive of a response, he is shoved backwards to the carpeted floor.
"Take him to his room."
"H-Hey...!" Makoto winces as the gray-haired woman grabs him by the upper arm, yanks him to his feet, and drags him from the room.
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Interesting names, why did you call them that?
Are you talking about the 4 moral compasses thing I said?
I can try to elaborate.
I call the first one Just because that is what it demands. Karma, painful punishment for those who do evil and justice for their victims. It is the moral compass that tells me to punch bigots and act when seeing injustice... Violent retribution and embody judge, jury and executioner. It isn't bad at It's job but it can be very flawed at times...hence the other 3.
I call the second one Kind because it is steeped in compassion. Gentleness between people, concord even. One hand is the art of compromise, it is more fair for everyone to get something. Another hand is belief in humanity, every human has potential to change, there is hope for a better world that starts from compassion towards others. It isn't bad at It's job but it can be very flawed at times...hence the other 3.
I call the third one Innocent because it does not want to be tainted. The mean justify the end, it doesn't matter what that may be. At best it stops sacrifing others for a "greater good", at worst It's inaction in front of complex decisions. There is much good that can be done but that can't come as the expense of doing evil. It isn't bad at It's job but it can be very flawed at times...hence the other 3.
I call the fourth one Pragmatic because it turns morality into what's basically math. The end justifies the means, always. To kill 1 is right if it means saving 5. The life of someone young is worth more then that of someone old. The life of a human is worth more then that of a pet. The life of someone who can help others is worth saving more then that of a murderer. A living trolley problem solver. It isn't bad at It's job but it can be very flawed at times...hence the other 3.
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Understanding Tolkien Legendarium: A Mythology of its Own
Canon vs. Legendarium
On several of his letters, Tolkien uses the expressions “my myth”, “my mythology”, “mythological-theological”, “mythological world” and “a monotheistic but sub-creational [literary] mythology” (Letter 181) to describe his world-building:
I am interested in mythological 'invention', and the mystery of literary creation (or sub-creation as I have elsewhere called it) and I am the most readily available corpus vile for experiment or observation. Tolkien Letter 180
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Dr. Corey Olsen, an American Professor, who specializes in Medieval literature and on Tolkien studies, recently made headlines because of his affirmation: “First thing to specify is that there’s no such thing really as canon in Tolkien.” Precisely because there’s a legendarium (or "lore"), and it's organic and ever involving, allowing for multiple interpretations within it.
This statement enraged many in the Tolkien fandom, who promptly accused Dr. Olsen of “selling out” and “lying” on Amazon’s behalf. Because, of course, some random people on-line think they know better than a college professor with a PhD in medieval literature from Columbia University (2003), and a prolific academic career. To advance Tolkien research and make it accessible “to the masses” Dr. Olsen started a website on 2007, a podcast on 2009, and founded the Mythgard Institute in 2011.
May I say that all this is 'mythical', and not any kind of new religion or vision. As far as I know it is merely an imaginative invention, to express, in the only way I can, some of my (dim) apprehensions of the world. [...] I have, I suppose, constructed an imaginary time, but kept my feet on my own mother-earth for place […] Middle earth is [...] not my own invention. It is a modernization or alteration (N[ew] E[nglish] Dictionary] 'a perversion') of an old word for the inhabited world of Men […] I imagine the gap to be about 6000 years: that is we are now at the end of the Fifth Age, if the Ages were of about the same length as S.A. and T.A. But they have, I think, quickened; and I imagine we are actually at the end of the Sixth Age, or in the Seventh. between ice of the North and the fire of the South. [...] Many reviewers seem to assume that Middle-earth is another planet! […] I have deliberately written a tale, which is built on or out of certain 'religious' ideas, but is not an allegory of them (or anything else), and does not mention them overtly, still less preach them [...] But I might say that if the tale is 'about' anything (other than itself) […] t is mainly concerned with Death, and Immortality; and the 'escapes': serial longevity, and hoarding memory. Tolkien Letter 211
The denial of a “canon” doesn’t mean everything is fair game, mind you. There’s still a legendarium, and while, yes, it allows for different interpretations (or “playing around” as Dr. Olsen puts it) they still need to be aligned with Tolkien lore; follow the themes Tolkien embodied on his world-building and work. Tolkien created a living mythology, yes, but these are still his characters, his story and his world.
The adaptations of Tolkien work can afford to play with the legendarium if they keep the core message, themes and symbolism, and this is what Peter Jackson did, and what “Rings of Power” is doing; the latter more successfully, actually, because Peter Jackson delivered a very wholly evil vs. wholly good type of story, when Tolkien himself rejected this notion (Letter 183): In my story I do not deal in Absolute Evil. I do not think there is such a thing, since that is Zero. I do not think that at any rate any 'rational being' is wholly evil.
A Myth not an Allegory
The fastest way to misunderstand Tolkien is trying to see allegories where they don’t exist. His work is not an allegory for WWI, WWII, industrialization, totalitarianism, nor any other present day or 20th century event. Sauron is not Stalin, the Orcs are not the communists, and Mordor is not the Soviet Union. Nor anything of that sort. Sauron is Sauron, and the Orcs are the Orcs, period. There is no allegory here, and Tolkien himself rejected this idea.
Tolkien expressed his dislike for allegory and denied his work is one several times on his letters: there is no 'allegory', moral, political, or contemporary in the work at all (Letter 181); my story is not an allegory of Atomic power, but of Power (exerted for Domination) (Letter 186); there is no 'symbolism' or conscious allegory in my story (Letter 203); I have no didactic purpose, and no allegorical intent. (I do not like allegory) (Letter 215); I am not naturally attracted (in fact much the reverse) by allegory, mystical or moral (Letter 262).
That there is no allegory does not, of course, say there is no applicability. There always is. And since I have not made the struggle wholly unequivocal: sloth and stupidity among hobbits, pride and [illegible] among Elves, grudge and greed in Dwarf-hearts, and folly and wickedness among the 'Kings of Men', and treachery and power-lust even among the 'Wizards', there is I suppose applicability in my story to present times. But I should say, if asked, the tale is not really about Power and Dominion: that only sets the wheels going; it is about Death and the desire for deathlessness. Tolkien Letter 203
This might indicate that Tolkien doesn’t mind having his work interpreted as theological allegory on occasion (for different sins/vices). However, political messaging is something that, as Tolkien tells us on his Letter 299, is “entirely foreign to [his] thought.”
Meaning: everyone who tries to imprint political issues (whatever they might be) onto Tolkien legendarium is missing the point, and completely off mark with their interpretations. Over the years, many accused Tolkien of racism arguing the Orcs were meant to symbolize countless non-white peoples. No; if the Orcs would to be any allegory to real life, they would be corrupted/possessed men by the Devil.
On his Letter 131, Tolkien writes about his dislike for “conscious and intentional allegory”, and, once again, states his work is not one. However, he did used “allegorical language” because it’s almost mandatory on myths and fairytales.
Inspirations
The main inspiration to the legendarium is, evidently, Christian-Catholic theology, since Tolkien was, himself, a devoted Catholic.
“The Lord of the Rings” is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, consciously in the revision […] the religious element is absorbed into the story and the symbolism. Tolkien Letter 142
The struggle between “good” and “evil”, in Tolkien legendarium, is personified by Eru Ilúvatar (“The One”) and Melkor/Morgoth (the source of corruption/evil), and the all other characters must choose (Free-will) with which one to align themselves with. And this is where Tolkien employs allegorical language:
Eru Ilúvatar is the Christian God, and Tolkien himself refers to Him as such on several of his letters: gift of Ilúvatar (God) (Letter 131); denies the existence of God, saying that the One is a mere invention of the jealous Valar of the West (Letter 131); part of the World, which is God's and ultimately good (153); special gifts of God to the Eruhini (Children of the One); 'There is only one 'god': God, Eru Ilúvatar. (Notes on Letter 156).
Melkor/Morgoth is the Christian Devil, the corrupter of God’s creation, and Tolkien calls him “diabolus” (Letters 153), and describing his actions as “satanic”: absolute Satanic rebellion and evil of Morgoth and his satellite Sauron (Letter 156); substituted a Satanist religion with a large temple [devoted to Morgoth] (Letter 156); Satan fell. In my myth Morgoth fell beasts and monsters, and the Unknown (Letter 183); Melkor became the rebel, and the Diabolos of these tales, who disputed the kingdom of Arda with Manwë (Letter 211); the Prime Dark Lord (the Prime sub-creative Rebel) Morgoth (Letter 153).
The whole of Middle-earth was Morgoth's Ring: A shrine to Morgoth on the Southlands (Rings of Power, 1x05)
What is Sauron’s place in all of this? Sauron is a follower of Morgoth/Satan and his chief agent on Middle-earth (Tolkien Letter 183). He’s a “satanic demon” and a satellite to Morgoth (Letter 156), but “by the end of the Third Age (though actually much weaker than before) he claimed to be Morgoth returned" (Letter 183). Allegorically speaking, Sauron is, in essence, the Devil’s wingman and the head of the Church of Satan.
The Ainur: Valar and Maiar
The Ainur (Valar and Maiar) are not “Catholic saints” in Tolkien legendarium, as many wrongly assume. They are of angelic nature, as Tolkien describes them several times on his letters: the first creations, angelic beings (Letter 156); 'angelic' gods (Letter 159); angelical First-created (Letter 257) and angelic immortals (Letter 325). The Valar are "regents under God" while the Maiar are "of the same order but less power and majesty" (Letter 325).
The Valar's function is to exercise delegated authority in their spheres (of rule and government, not creation, making or re-making). They are 'divine', that is, were originally 'outside' and existed 'before' the making of the world. Their power and wisdom is derived from their Knowledge of the cosmogonical drama, which they perceived first as a drama (that is as in a fashion we perceive a story composed by some-one else), and later as a 'reality' (Letter 131).
'The immediate 'authorities' are the Valar (the Powers or Authorities): the 'gods'. But they are only created spirits – of high angelic order we should say, with their attendant lesser angels – reverend, therefore, but not worshipful; and though potently 'subcreative', and resident on Earth to which they are bound by love, having assisted in its making and ordering, they cannot by their own will alter any fundamental provision. Tolkien Letter 153
The Valar are similar to Christian archangels in the sense they can intercede next to Eru (God) on the Faithful’s behalf. This is very much in line with Christian-Catholic tradition: the devotees pray to the archangels (especially to St. Michael the Archangel) to deliver their prayers and pleas to God: the Valar lay down their delegated power and appeal to God, and receive the power and permission to deal with the situation (Letter 131). The Maiar are associated with lower-rank angels, servants to the Valar (archangels).
We are in a time [Third age] when the One God, Eru, is known to exist by the wise, but is not approachable save by or through the Valar, though He is still remembered in (unspoken) prayer by those of Númenórean descent. Tolkien Letter 297
Like Tolkien tells us, the Valar (like the Christian archangels) are worshipful, but they aren’t like the Pagan Gods (Polytheism), because "there is only one God” in Tolkien legendarium, and that's Eru Ilúvatar (Monotheism).
And with this is why Melkor/Morgoth (a Vala), like Lucifer (archangel) is in open rebellion against Eru/God’s authority: it’s a Satanic rebellion like Tolkien describes it, because Melkor wants to usurp Eru’s place as "the God" and "the creator" of the legendarium. But the power of Creation is God’s alone, and, so, Melkor, like the Christian Devil, devoted himself to corrupt it, in every way, shape or form.
But this is where things get misinterpreted, as well, especially when it comes to the Virgin Mary, with many attempting to associate her with the character of Galadriel. There is no Virgin Mary “equivalent” on Tolkien legendarium, nor could ever be. The “Holy Virgin” is the highest Catholic devotion, and Tolkien was not only a devoted Catholic but he lived during the time the Vatican consecrated the Church and the human race to the Immaculate Heart of Mary (1942). Him associating the “Holy Virgin” with a symbolic human character (Elf) is not only absurd, but pure blasphemy, because he describes Galadriel as “penitent”, a repentant sinner: I think it is true that I owe much of this character to Christian and Catholic teaching and imagination about Mary, but actually Galadriel was a penitent (Letter 320).
No Catholic would ever describe the Virgin Mary a “repentant” because that goes against everything Catholics believe ("Mother of God"; “Assumption of Mary”, "Immaculate Conception"; "The Sinlessness of Mary"), and Tolkien himself talks about this on his notes of Letter 212: The Assumption of Mary, the only unfallen person. To Catholics (and other Christian branches), the Virgin Mary was born without the stain of the "Original sin" (The Fall), she's sinlessness because she's the "Mother of God".
When Tolkien talks about the “Christian and Catholic teaching and imagination about Mary” he is talking about Catholic Mariology and Marian devotion in Catholicism (which is a female-centered devotion praticed, mostly, by Catholic women). Which means, Galadriel is not “the Virgin Mary” of the lore; she’s a devotee of the Virgin Mary, and follows the Holy Virgin example as penitence for her former sins in Tolkien legendarium. And this should be obvious to any Catholic or, in my case, anyone who was born and raised in deep Catholic countries.
Children of Ilúvatar: Elves and Men
Elves and Men [are] the Children of God (Letter 156), and they were Eru’s addition to the Design, the Eruhîn [...] The Firstborn (Elves) and the Successors [or Followers] (Men), whom the Valar were forbidden to try and dominate by fear or force (Letter 257).
The Valar played no part on their making, but Elves and Men are “the object of the special desire and love of the gods” (Letter 131), or the ideal material for subjects and slaves, to whom the corrupted as Melkor/Morgoth and his followers (mainly Sauron), wanted to become masters and “gods”, envying the Children, and secretly hating them, in proportion as they became rebels against the One (Letter 212).
It was because of this pre-occupation with the Children of God that the spirits [Valar and Maiar] so often took the form and likeness of the Children, especially after their appearance. It was thus that Sauron appeared in this shape. It is mythologically supposed that when this shape was 'real', that is a physical actuality in the physical world and not a vision transferred from mind to mind, it took some time to build up. It was then destructible like other physical organisms. But that of course did not destroy the spirit, nor dismiss it from the world to which it was bound until the end. Tolkien Letter 200
Maiar in human form: Olórin (Gandalf) and Mairon (Sauron). As Tolkien tells us, these physical forms are real, and made of flesh. They are not visions these Maiar conjure on the minds of others.
Elves and Men are related and similar races, but partly different, and wholly divergent from the Ainur, like Tolkien tells us in Letter 131. Neither Men or Elves are of “divine nature” nor "higher beings". Immortality and Mortality are special gifts from Eru to His children, and no Vala can alter this pre-destined condition: meaning, the Valar can’t grant immortality to Men, nor make an Elf mortal.
The cases of Lúthien, Túor and Arwen were a direct act from God, because the entering into Men of the Elven-strain is indeed represented as a part of a Divine plan for the ennoblement of the Human Race, from the beginning destined to replace the Elves (Letter 153).
In Tolkien legendarium, “Men” and “Elves” represent different sides of Human nature, mainly connected to Death (mortality vs. Immortality). Both are rational creatures of Free will in regard to God (Letter 181):
In this mythological world the Elves and Men are in their incarnate forms kindred, but in the relation of their 'spirits' to the world in time represent different 'experiments', each of which has its own natural trend, and weakness. The Elves represent, as it were, the artistic, aesthetic, and purely scientific aspects of the Humane nature raised to a higher level than is actually seen in Men. That is: they have a devoted love of the physical world, and a desire to observe and understand it for its own sake and as 'other' – sc. as a reality derived from God in the same degree as themselves – not as a material for use or as a power-platform. They also possess a 'subcreational' or artistic faculty of great excellence. They are therefore 'immortal'. Not 'eternally', but to endure with and within the created world, while its story lasts. When 'killed', by the injury or destruction of their incarnate form, they do not escape from time, but remain in the world, either discarnate, or being re-born. This becomes a great burden as the ages lengthen, especially in a world in which there is malice and destruction [...] Mere change as such is not represented as 'evil': it is the unfolding of the story and to refuse this is of course against the design of God. But the Elvish weakness is in these terms naturally to regret the past, and to become unwilling to face change: as if a man were to hate a very long book still going on, and wished to settle down in a favourite chapter. Hence they fell in a measure to Sauron's deceits: they desired some 'power' over things as they are (which is quite distinct from an), to make their particular will to preservation effective: to arrest change, and keep things always fresh and fair. The 'Three Rings' were 'unsullied', because this object was in a limited way good, it included the healing of the real damages of malice, as well as the mere arrest of change; and the Elves did not desire to dominate other wills, nor to usurp all the world to their particular pleasure. But with the downfall of 'Power' their little efforts at preserving the past fell to bits. There was nothing more in Middle-earth for them, but weariness. So Elrond and Galadriel depart. Gandalf is a special case. He was not the maker or original holder of the Ring – but it was surrendered to him by Círdan, to assist him in his task. Gandalf was returning, his labour and errand finished, to his home, the land of the Valar. The passage over Sea is not Death. The 'mythology' is Elf-centred. According to it there was at first an actual Earthly Paradise, home and realm of the Valar, as a physical part of the earth. Tolkien Letter 181
In the legendarium, the Elves are representative of the intellectual and artistic-driven humans, more concerned with understanding the world around them than with power itself (safe a few exceptions, of course). However, they desire to stop change and cease the passage and decay of time, wanting things to stay the same forever; and that’s their greatest weakness. And this is visible on their two “Falls” on the legendarium (first in Valinor, and later on Middle-earth).
Men, on the other hand, are more ambitious and power-driven, and their unacceptance of their own mortality is their greatest weakness, in Tolkien legendarium. Aligned with Christian theology “mortality” was the punishment for “the Fall of Men”, however, Tolkien doesn’t consider it that way because “a divine 'punishment' is also a divine 'gift', if accepted, since its object is ultimate blessing” and a 'mortal' Man has probably [...] a higher if unrevealed destiny than a longeval one (Letter 212).
Hobbits belong ot the race of Men in the legendarium: the Hobbits are, of course, really meant to be a branch of the specifically human race [...] They are entirely without non-human powers, but are represented as being more in touch with 'nature' (the soil and other living things, plants and animals), and abnormally, for humans, free from ambition or greed of wealth. They are made small (little more than half human stature, but dwindling as the years pass) partly to exhibit the pettiness of man, plain unimaginative parochial man – though not with either the smallness or the savageness of Swift, and mostly to show up, in creatures of very small physical power, the amazing and unexpected heroism of ordinary men 'at a pinch' (Letter 131).
Hobbits were a breed of which the chief physical mark was their stature; and the chief characteristic of their temper was the almost total eradication of any dormant 'spark', only about one per mil had any trace of it [...] hobbit virtues: shrewd sense, generosity, patience and fortitude, and also a strong 'spark' yet unkindled Tolkien Letter 281
Children of Aulë: Dwarves
The Dwarves are called the “Children of Aulë” because this race was created by this Vala as companions, but their existence was allowed by Eru Ilúvatar (the ultimate authority on the legendarium).
This legend is present on “The Silmarillion”, but Tolkien refers to it on his Letter 212:
Aulë, for instance, one of the Great, in a sense 'fell'; for he so desired to see the Children, that he became impatient and tried to anticipate the will of the Creator. Being the greatest of all craftsmen he tried to make children according to his imperfect knowledge of their kind. When he had made thirteen, God spoke to him in anger, but not without pity: for Aulë had done this thing not out of evil desire to have slaves and subjects of his own, but out of impatient love, desiring children to talk to and teach, sharing with them the praise of Ilúvatar and his great love of the materials of which the world is made. The One rebuked Aulë, saying that he had tried to usurp the Creator's power; but he could not give independent life to his makings. He had only one life, his own derived from the One, and could at most only distribute it. 'Behold' said the One: 'these creatures of thine have only thy will, and thy movement. Though you have devised a language for them, they can only report to thee thine own thought. This is a mockery of me.' Then Aulë in grief and repentance humbled himself and asked for pardon. And he said: 'I will destroy these images of my presumption, and wait upon thy will.' And he took a great hammer, raising it to smite the eldest of his images; but it flinched and cowered from him. And as he withheld his stroke, astonished, he heard the laughter of Ilúvatar. 'Do you wonder at this?' he said. 'Behold! thy creatures now live, free from thy will! For I have seen thy humility, and taken pity on your impatience. Thy making I have taken up into my design.' This is the Elvish legend of the making of the Dwarves; but the Elves report that Ilúvatar said thus also: 'Nonetheless I will not suffer my design to be forestalled: thy children shall not awake before mine own.' And he commanded Aulë to lay the fathers of the Dwarves severally in deep places, each with his mate, save Dúrin the eldest who had none. There they should sleep long, until Ilúvatar bade them awake. Nonetheless there has been for the most part little love between the Dwarves and the children of Ilúvatar. And of the fate that Ilúvatar has set upon the children of Aulë beyond the Circles of the world Elves and men know nothing, and if Dwarves know they do not speak of it.
The Corrupted: Orcs
On his letters, Tolkien describes the “Orcs” as a “race of 'rational incarnate' creatures, though horribly corrupted”, ruined and twisted by Morgoth/Melkor during the Elder Days, when the Diabolus subjugated and corrupted some of the earliest Elves, before they had ever heard of the 'gods', let alone of God (Letter 153).
They would be Morgoth's greatest Sins, abuses of his highest privilege, and would be creatures begotten of Sin, and naturally bad. (I nearly wrote 'irredeemably bad'; but that would be going too far. Because by accepting or tolerating their making – necessary to their actual existence – even Orcs would become part of the World, which is God's and ultimately good) [...] I have represented at least the Orcs as pre-existing real beings on whom the Dark Lord has exerted the fullness of his power in remodelling and corrupting them, not making them. That God would 'tolerate' that, seems no worse theology than the toleration of the calculated dehumanizing of Men by tyrants that goes on today. Tolkien Letter 153
"Rings of Power" gives a bit of insight on the corruption of the first Elves by Morgoth, in the character of Adar (2x01)
In the chapter “Myths Transformed” of “Morgoth’s Ring”, we have more insight on the Orcs: the idea of breeding the Orcs came from Melkor, not at first maybe so much for the provision of servants or the infantry of his wars of destruction, as for the defilement of the Children and the blasphemous mockery of the designs of Eru. The details of the accomplishment of this wickedness were, however, left mainly to the subtleties of Sauron.
In that case the conception in mind of the Orcs may go far back into the night of Melkor’s thought, though the beginning of their actual breeding must await the awakening of Men. When Melkor was made captive, Sauron escaped and lay hid in Middle-earth; and it can in this way be understood how the breeding of the Orcs (no doubt already begun) went on with increasing speed during the age when the Noldor dwelt in Aman;“
Morgoth had the idea, and entrusted Sauron with overseeing the breeding of the next generations of Orcs: who reproduce sexually like all “incarnated creatures” in the legendarium; so the "Orc baby" from “Rings of Power” is very much lore accurate:
However, what kind of dark sorcery, twisted sex magic Sauron used to breed more Orcs out of the first Elves corrupted by Morgoth remains a mystery. “Rings of Power” tried to answer this enigma by creating a “father” to the Orcs (Adar) to whom Sauron “gave children”, but this created more weird questions than actual answers.
Core Themes
The core themes of Tolkien legendarium are: the Fall [of Adam and Eve; of Men], Mortality/Immortality (Death), Machine (magic), and God, from which the others branch: like Free-will, and God’s authority (theological).
Anyway all this stuff* is mainly concerned with Fall, Mortality, and the Machine. With Fall inevitably, and that motive occurs in several modes. With Mortality, especially as it affects art and the creative (or as I should say, sub-creative) desire which seems to have no biological function, and to be apart from the satisfactions of plain ordinary biological life, with which, in our world, it is indeed usually at strife. This desire is at once wedded to a passionate love of the real primary world, and hence filled with the sense of mortality, and yet unsatisfied by it. It has various opportunities of 'Fall'. It may become possessive, clinging to the things made as 'its own', the sub-creator wishes to be the Lord and God of his private creation. He will rebel against the laws of the Creator – especially against mortality. Both of these (alone or together) will lead to the desire for Power, for making the will more quickly effective, – and so to the Machine (or Magic). Tolkien Letter 131
Side note: Tolkien uses the word “stuff” as in its oldest meaning. Probably meant to signify “literature” or “literary work” (meaning from the 1500s).
Tolkien tells us that “The Fall” [of Adam and Eve], mortality and the machine (“magic” = "power") are connected in his legendarium, as he explains on his letter. In short, it's the lust [The Fall] to "cheat death" [Mortality] that leads his characters to chase power [the Machine], and in doing so, they are rebeling against Eru Ilúvatar (God).
The Elves cheating death by the means of the rings of power: these rings allowed them to stay on Middle-earth instead of returning to Valinor like they were meant to
In "The Lord of the Rings" the conflict is not basically about 'freedom', though that is naturally involved. It is about God, and His sole right to divine honour. The Eldar and the Númenóreans believed in The One, the true God, and held worship of any other person an abomination. Tolkien Letter 183
Rebellion against God's divine honour: folly and blasphemy
Power as a means to immortality
The Fall or corruption; every being (Maiar, Elves, Dwarves and Men) are susceptible to it, due to their own Free will (choice).
I plan on doing a series of posts exploring each one of these themes, separately.
#tolkien legendarium#tolkien lore#tolkien#jrr tolkien#lord of the rings#the lord of the rings#the silmarillion#rings of power#the rings of power#melkor#morgoth#eru iluvatar#sauron#gandalf#olórin#aulë#aule#valar#maiar#galadriel
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Fox Noise (Pizza cadres)
True personality: Sociable,patient,earnest
Shadow personality: unmanned, cunning, hates boredom
Mask ability: “Cunning”
(It can be snatch or cheat as they wish, but it's high risk)
Examples:snatch, unlock,attract items, etc...
"Snatch" can also be used to acquire someone abilities.
Mask features: A half mask covering all but the mouth in the shape of a fox mask.
It has a yellow base with a pattern of curled whiskers.
The eyes are comically deformed.
(As for his nose, it is not particularly disturbing since it deforms and fits while he is wearing the mask.)
He is a framer like Peppino, And he is also a street artist.
He likes to travel in the Framed world.
He is social, earnest and very patient, and he has a reasonable personality.
He rejects the shadow personality, forcing it down after a conflict.
He is truly terminally eroded, so even when he takes off his mask, black tears are constant and sometimes drip from his mouth.
and, he also often moans about his mental distress.
Fighting skills
He primarily uses a special red baseball bat when he fights.
Bombs, Noise crusher, and Skateboards are generated and disposed of using shadows and ink.
If he is wearing a mask, he can change his limbs into beastly ones, dramatically improving his athletic ability.
He also learns everything he can from people from other worlds and gains power from them.
He also seems to be able to use magic, although it is limited to the world of the picture frame.
Brief profile
He is from the same world as Peppino, but they have never actually met face-to-face until they bump into each other in the main story.
In his former world, he is a wanderer, forced to live on the run for one reason or another.
Along with his art activities, he is also trying to make people aware of the existence of the framed world.
He basically wears a hunting cap and a coat in the outside world.
Along with his art activities, he helps people as "Fox Noise ," wearing an orange hoodie and a mask.
Noisette is his girlfriend and assistant.
About his ability
His masked ability "Cunning" is very versatile and can easily ignore gimmicks.
It is limited by Faceless.
Each of his mask skills has a cost, and black ink accumulates in a vessel called "Ink cage".
When the vessel is full, the ability cannot be used for about ten seconds, and the he becomes fatigued.
Incidentally, snatch has the highest cost.
Back story
He and Noisette are forcibly drawn into a distorted, framed world by Faceless' pranks.
Faceless: "Howdy there^^, I know this is sudden, but come play with me, or I won't let you go back to where you came from.
If you play your cards right, I may alleviate the crisis in your home world .
I'm even willing to collaborate with your compatriots, whom you will meet in time."
Noise had no choice but to join in on his game.
His task, like Peppino's, was to repair all the distorted frames.
He travels the same way as Peppino, but takes a completely different route than Peppino.
When they do battle... it will be in the form of a mutual encounter,Faceless comes to check on them and says, "If you show interesting results, I'll lead yours to my place."and would pit the two against each other.
Noise is also interested in Peppino, who does not wear a mask, and tries to test his skills.
He sometimes creates a simple picture frame for a break and temporarily pries open an exit.
However, it is unclear where that exit leads,maybe the exit often leads to other AU.
afterwards
The crisis in his home world was to be alleviated and some of the missing people returned. He can come and go freely to the outside world.
But he is favorite by Faceless.
His appearance remains human, but his body is almost completely mutated, and he is not allowed to age or die.
…But then, so is Peppino.
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