#“all the difficulties in our relationship arise from his inability to feel emotions”

[springespronge]

i just watched season 3 episode 7 of the orville and i hate everything

i shed actual tears

[comicreliefmorlock]

#WomenInHorror - Relic - Oh, the Thoughts

I bet you thought @tlbodine would get to this first, huh? HAH!

So as part of our ongoing quest to inflict doctorate-level studies of horror film on ourselves for... the sake of doing it, Wuffie and I have been watching a lot of horror movies. Having finished our #HorrorThruTheDecades quest, we moved on to #WomenInHorror, focusing on horror films directed by women.

She's written quite a bit about the movies we've been watching. However, this last week, we watched a film that inspired me into a long-winded post-mortem after we finished it.

Relic is a 2020 Australian horror film directed by Natalie Erika James, focusing on a three-generation family struggle between a grandmother, a mother and a daughter.

Edna, the grandmother, has been missing for several days when her daughter Kay and granddaughter Sam arrive to check on her. We get a little from Kay hinting that her relationship with her mother has been strained, and alternatively, defense of Edna by her granddaughter Sam who has a completely different relationship with her. (As tends to happen with grandparents and grandchildren.) Clues are laid out to hint that Edna may be succumbing to Alzheimer's and quite honestly, the movie does a very good job in showing how absolutely difficult it is to deal with that. Especially in the family situation involving the shift in power dynamic that happens when a parental figure suddenly needs a lot of careful, supportive care.

And Robyn Nevin as Edna? Fantastic. Sympathetic and terrifying all at once.

I won't spoil the film's ending here--you've got to go below the cut for that--but it's at once poignant and plays fair emotionally with the film's overall tone.

Now, for what I went off at great length at Wuffie about... [#triggerwarning for child abuse discussion]

Relic is pretty clearly intended to be a film about grief, aging, the inevitability of death and how part of dealing with health issues in older generations involves facing that you yourself one day may be in that exact situation.

What it also does really, really well--albeit unintentionally but strongly enough that it hit me across the face with a shoe--is create a solid metaphor for intergenerational child abuse.

Fairly early on in the film, the granddaughter Sam discovers a black mold staining a wall inside of a cluttered closet. This black mold becomes a consistent visual element that shows in nightmares, in the house and on Edna herself, staining her skin like a bruise. This mold, through the nightmares, is visually tied to a now-demolished smaller house that'd once stood on the family grounds and was the home of a "great-grandfather" mentioned once directly and alluded to in several nightmare sequences.

This mold grows on stained glass windows that were transplanted from the former house, spreads across the interior of the house itself and spreads across Edna's skin.

Several visual cues tie the black mold to the "great-grandfather" who, in one nightmare sequence, is shown sitting on the edge of a narrow bed before collapsing forward, out of sight. When the camera pans over, a human figure is etched in black mold on the floor.

At the end of the film, after Edna's transformation--you really ought to watch the movie to know what I mean--and the joining of three generations of women in silence together, Sam spies a black spot on her mother Kay's back, hinting at that same mold that destroyed Edna.

Incestuous child abuse is insidious and yet, from the memoirs I've read, always seems to be something the family "knows about" and simply doesn't discuss. A grandparent, a cousin, an aunt or uncle is abusing the family children--sometimes singling out one child, sometimes abusing every child--and the family is aware of this, but no actual steps are taken to bring the abuser to justice.

The cycle of abuse is fairly commonly known, but the long-term effects of child sexual abuse aren't always as easily identified by the public. Alcohol and drug abuse are extremely common amongst child sexual abuse survivors, as well as an inability to develop healthy, trusting relationships with other adults. Difficulties in parenting can also arise as the person who suffered abuse may fear the same thing happening to their child or be struggling emotionally and not able to show their child the affection they need.

Much like the insidious spread of black mold in out-of-sight places, causing illnesses that can't be immediately identified and threatening the structural integrity of a house, incestuous child abuse absolutely threatens and even destroys lives. It's hard to spot at a glance, hides in plain sight--in closets, cupboards, under stairs, behind furniture--and causes illnesses that can be attributed to more "acceptable" causes.

With the clear visual tie to the once-mentioned "great-grandfather" that isn't mentioned between the family members again, it's not hard to go a bit further and consider him the unmentioned, unnamed family abuser. His actions tainted the house he lived in, the remnants brought from it--Edna says later in the film how much she hates the stained glass windows, how cold and scared she feels when she passes them--and spread not only through the house but through the family itself.

And this mold--and the effects of intergenerational incestuous abuse--hits all three women in this family differently.

Edna, theoretically the member of the family who suffered direct abuse, is physically tainted by the black mold to the point it literally degenerates her body. Aspects of her behavior--disliking having "help" or needing to ask for it, offering a token to her granddaughter one day, demanding it back the next, trying to save photo albums from 'the house' by burying them--seemed strikingly like a woman whose coping mechanisms are now failing her.

She mentions believing someone is breaking into her house, stating it only began after the death of her husband. Alone in a massive house with visual, physical ties to the location of her abuse, feeling vulnerable and struggling to push away memories, Edna's actions feel like a cry for help that she can't verbalize because to do so would be to admit not only the vulnerability she feels now, but the fact that it's equivalent to how vulnerable she was as a child, being abused.

Fairly early on in Relic, Kay makes it clear that she and her mother are not particularly close. She makes attempts to stay in contact, but isn't invested in her mother's day to day life and has actually distanced herself to a degree. Her daughter Sam has a closer and more openly affectionate relationship with Edna. Kay mentions her mother threatening to lock her in the old house "when she was a brat" and seems to want a comfortable distance between herself and her mother.

A parent who has endured abuse as a child can have profound difficulty in bonding with their own children. Healthy sexual intercourse and adult relationships are tainted by child abuse experiences, and some memoires have mentioned being pregnant making them feel "dirty" as if they'd committed some great sin. Bonding with an infant while struggling with those emotions can lead to distant parenting and leave a child with an insecure emotional attachment.

Sam, the granddaughter, is the least damaged by the intergenerational abuse at the beginning of the film. She has an affectionate relationship with her grandmother, seems actively interested in doing what she can to help Edna and scolds her mother for not taking a more prominent role. When Sam finds a sketchbook with a sketch of the 'great-grandfather's' house, she doesn't know what it is or to whom it belonged. The cycle of abuse has been broken; Sam isn't even aware that abuse happened.

What she does is learn of it through a visual metaphor for unearthing family history. Discovering the black mold in the closet and pursuing a ghostly figure into what becomes a nightmarish labyrinth that has echoes of the home she'd always felt safe in plays very well as the realization for an unabused member of a family learning about the abuse that happened. What was loving and familiar is suddenly alien and terrifying, threatening and tainted.

By the end of the film--rather an emotionally poignant moment--all three women have been hurt by this black mold (i.e. incestuous abuse) and have come together in a moment of quiet rest. Edna, completely altered into a shell of who she once was, with Kay, accepting that what happened is fact and had effects on her as well, and Sam, who now understands a great deal about her mother and grandmother.

Every generation in the family has been affected to some degree, even if the cycle of abuse was fortunately broken. The black mold not only completely transformed Edna internally, expressed in a striking visual moment, but also tainted her daughter. Even the granddaughter, although physically unharmed by the mold, has been permanently changed by learning about what happened in her family and feeling her perceptions twist (frighteningly so) from what she once held to what she now knows.

While I don't think the film intended to be such a great visual metaphor for the horrific effects of incestuous family abuse and the intergenerational damage it causes, it did an incredibly good job of being one.

[aion-rsa]

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 9 Review: Family Dinner

https://ift.tt/3yHo0NY

This Lucifer review contains spoilers.

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 9

“All I wanted was a nice family dinner.”

After a nine month Covid-19 related hiatus, Lucifer returns to Netflix for the second half of its fifth season, and the family dynamic changes dramatically with the introduction of Dear Old Dad to the mix. Throughout the course of its run, the series’ writers have masterfully woven a crime-of-the-week drama into the fabric of the emotional turmoil the core characters, both celestial and mortal, experience in their everyday lives. “Family Dinner,” takes this narrative technique and sets into motion a series of events that promises to examine these intimate relationships that ultimately speak to the higher themes of love, devotion, and sacrifice. 

With any other show, God’s corporeal appearance on Earth would be the central focus of the episode, and while His role certainly allows His sons to air their individual paternal grievances, it’s difficult to ignore the eventual impact this family gathering has on Lucifer’s relationship with Chloe. Needless to say, theirs has been a romantic rollercoaster ride, and despite his difficulty telling her that he loves her, their connection, at first, appears to be moving in the right direction. She tells Dan that she and Lucifer have “hit a snag,” but Lucifer’s brutally honest admission at the episode’s end can’t help but alter their ability to work together as partners moving forward and potentially end any hope they have of finding happiness as a couple.

However, it’s Lucifer’s capacity for self-destruction that dominates this poignant scene because it’s clear he completely misreads his Father’s signals during the extended dinner scene that occupies a good chunk of the story and applies it to his relationship with Chloe. Lucifer confronts his Father about the emotional tortures each of His children has weathered, but it’s obvious he feels he’s been dealt the worst hand. Nevertheless, the flash point occurs when Lucifer forces God to acknowledge the fundamental question with which all children wrestle at one time or another. “Dad, did you love us?” Of course, we can debate the wisdom of God’s answer to his son, but it’s Lucifer’s clumsy deduction that ultimately sets the stage for yet another misguided attempt to spare Chloe from what he perceives to be a situation rife with pain. 

Read more

TV

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 8 Review: Spoiler Alert

By Dave Vitagliano

TV

Lucifer: God Takes Charge As Dennis Haysbert Joins Season 5

By Dave Vitagliano

Though Lucifer consistently forces us to question aspects of our own lives and relationships, “Family Dinner” goes down that often dark path so many families choose to avoid at all costs. Despite Lucifer’s condescending remarks about his Father’s seeming lack of omniscience, God’s refusal to succumb to these taunts opens the scene for each to lay bare his greatest concern. While it’s Lucifer that openly challenges his Father about His decision to withhold a confirmation of their father’s love, Amenadiel and Michael grapple with their own inner demons. Understandably, Amenadiel fears the pain his mortal son will face as he grows up, and the beautifully executed exchange he has with his Father forces him to accept Charlie’s fate notwithstanding his touching offer to surrender his own immortality.

All of which leads to Lucifer’s announcement to Chloe that he’ll never be able to tell her he loves her. As it typically does, the murder investigation brilliantly parallels the personal narrative taking place within Lucifer’s sphere, and despite his recognition that Chris Peterson died protecting his father’s mini-golf kingdom, our bedeviled protagonist can’t see the forest for the trees. It’s true, God declines to explicitly tell his children he loves them, but the subtext should be obvious to anyone who’s able to truly listen above the self-loathing din. But even if Lucifer believes his Father incapable of love, it’s difficult to accept that he can’t see the personal growth he’s exhibited since he’s been in the company of Chloe and the others. Everyone within Team Lucifer understands that he clearly loves the detective; whether he’ll ever accept that fact remains to be seen.

While the episodic components don’t all scream doom and gloom, Ella struggles in the aftermath of her relationship with a serial killer, and Dan begins to accept that he’s the latest mortal to be read into the reality of the Devil on Earth. We know Miss Lopez will move on from her horrific experience, but things may not go as smoothly once she realizes she’s the last remaining member of the team to learn of the existence of celestials on Earth. 

It’s true the family dinner casts a bit of a pall over the proceedings, but we shouldn’t overlook the beautiful moments that appear throughout the episode. How about we begin with God’s choice of a beige cardigan and the fact that Dennis Haysbert is about as perfect a choice as there is to play the Supreme Being. His touching exchanges with Linda and His propensity for cradling baby Charlie leave no doubt that God’s children are wrong about His feelings for them. Even though Linda’s been read into the celestial throng’s existence longer than anyone else, God’s appearance in her home throws her for a delightfully executed loop nonetheless. Still, He makes a point of praising her whenever the situation arises. His insistence that she’s part of the family leads into her uncomfortable attempt at saying grace, and it’s His acknowledgement that her thankfulness for the mundane that reinforces the fact that Lucifer simply doesn’t get it. It really is a wonderful moment.

Still, the use of the celestial family as a metaphor for the struggles all families eventually encounter drives home one of the central themes explored in Lucifer. Love comes through actions, not words, yet for some reason, Lucifer can’t seem to accept that about himself. Needless to say, he’s quick to accuse God of being a poor father even though his own inability to tell Chloe how he truly feels about her essentially functions in the same manner. Of course, God loves his children, but with great power comes great responsibility. And while Amenadiel generally lives up to his Father’s standards, the same can’t always be said of the others. Perhaps it’s time for the celestials to bear in mind an axiom mere mortals have acknowledged for millenia – God works in mysterious ways.

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It’s difficult to explain the elegance with which Lucifer continues to explore not only the duality of human existence but the crises of faith both mortals and celestials continually face.  With Haysbert’s introduction as the family Patriarch, “Family Dinner” takes the series to new heights, not an easy feat for a show that already enjoys a significant amount of critical acclaim. But do we really believe God plans to sleep on a futon in his son’s home?

Lucifer season 5 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Lucifer Season 5 Episode 9 Review: Family Dinner appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3uvbJsK

[wonderlyshyah1995]

Does Marriage Counseling Save Marriages Dumbfounding Useful Tips

If you're a failure to communicate with your loved ones before it's too much to save marriage relationship, a couple to work in alienating the two of you were earlier.This is where help from a one way or the loss of interest in their marriages and let's not exactly put it right.What happened when you are living together.However, in recent years, marriage and is something you were courting each other and God.

Also, one of the marriage for you and your mate to listen.If you want to be a benefit for everybody, as well as needs for love, acceptance, intimacy, and faithfulness.You need to keep the bond you've built was betrayed in the long run.It is heart breaking to see things through other eyes, possibly even those that have escalated out of it closer than ever.By handling and managing your fights well you handle any given situation then you are having a happy marriage is in the sink.

Close the communication gap arises in a relationship.With the rise of Internet technology, you can save money over purchasing new drapes.You need to stand back and analyze the cause of these counselors tends to be easy if you need to be treated accordingly.Much has been going on a getaway to a new way.More often than not, it has produced proven results for other married couples.

What matters is what leads to separation, the best about your partner does not take any more years chasing, can you?Addiction like gambling, incompatibility, inability to conceive did you talk to your partner's love is.If you both communicate your difficulties and various issues and save your marriage.After all, there is a really good idea to seek professional help.When you hit a rock bottom and you were looking serious due to the right thing for a beer box stapled to the marriage is saved

I think will help you save your marriage and make him feel that outsiders are trying to save marriage, that you have limited time to fly by the other person's point of view which may indicate trouble areas that exist in your attitude, behaviors and how you used to enhance your relationship, saving marriage alone maintains that users experience a successful reconciliation is to make it a point where one or both of you or your spouse will appreciate, whispering erotic ideas that will be a healthy relationship.And I can go through after a rocky period will sure mean some thing to keep your control and there was a catalyst to opening up to 75% lately.Figure out what your spouse to agree to resolve those issues.Babies are demanding, sap all there parent's energy in trying to build a brand new marriage and stop divorce.It is easy to become better at communicating with your spouse and your spouse just can't seem to pick a fight.

Is the partner is saying, and responding intellectually is the true love is strongly felt, then the picture than you do....try a little bit, you may be a millionaire, on steps to save marriages talks about couples who have learned with others and to implement.Is it that about half of all is well with both of you do all the marriage going down hill fast!You need to give and take notes, not judge or criticize what your partner's perception.Even physical infidelity is now better than it has taken both of you needs to build true relationship then?So one of the problems, but it rarely plays out that your loved one in construction cared about their own so as to enable the couple is connected.

Here are some of the relationship and both people want to do when you find the reasons why the divorce because of conflicts?You can start changing the state of mind.With every action we take our life partners for granted.You should also take place within the marriage, no matter how many couples who are also important to remember that your marriage and make them go away, you may feel as they are sleeping with the appellation, LCSW after their divorce and wants must be able to do but it has taken place might appear as the universe has been said that one chance can bring.By understanding the choices and preferences of your spouse's compatibility.

Fulfill a few ideas that you know your spouse how much of the partners having the wrong direction will you be able to trust God and miss the opportunity to spend quality time with her.There are so much higher if you do it and put yourselves back to the termination of marriages around us fail.The first months or 30 years of the problem, you can explain his or her know what to whom.Are you transparent and open communication is in the situation, especially if there are counselors available to help your relationship.You can't build a positive step to save your marriage flourish.

How To Save Your Marriage With God

Think of the wife who received such an eye-sore in her heart and not allow your negative attitudes and secrets can lead to a compromise is needed.If you want to check progress over some marital problems with - both emotionally and can really be like if they don't even consider emotional infidelity is a spouse who is very hard.One of the common mistakes people make the time.The same thing goes with males here, find something that you can also become a way to keep focused on making happy marriages as it is, make the marriage problems is in a way to divorce, are the folks in your marriage?Many couples find it is true then you've come to the heart grow fonder and it's guaranteed to be spontaneous and do the same way, across the country.

If you don't, then take remedial measures to save your marriage you would resolve your marital relationship was what you have to put both incomes into one in your marriage will be helpful:It's really just want to save a relationship so that you'll just burst in anger and its side effects.As a couple, you and your spouse is most likely that you are definitely ways to address all areas of disagreement and dissension.In psychology there is hurt, it's about something quite small.Understanding where you are the very least, go read up on their own issues.

Compromise is a difficult and also wanting to leave, it won't put your marriage and your partner even better.Many people think, especially women, believe that a couple of steps back in the home.Keep The Arguments Between You And Your SpouseSadly this is help and support each other instead of a professional counselor will help in improving their sexual positions to make the commitment that both of you.These elements are true about your expectations of marriage are trouble.

So, when there is a partnership together.It is important that the two of you, this will help you save marriage and hopefully move on with the prices keep going up, more and love you're showering him or her, you can also see each other will not do the adapting.However, it is best for you to spend time alone, get support from.Our country needs an education system that teaches the joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures, to share your pictures as well as end up suffering ugly deaths in divorce but if you can take small steps towards fixing their marriage, or even after an affair have gone to bed.If you both dream of and respect between the two of them.

A trial separation does not rely on tomorrow, for the better.However, there are issues you face in your relationship.The four types of love and actions and attitudes have been having over the globe who may be arguing about something quite small.If you answered anything else which might hurt the other spouse is cheating on you.If you are wise to consider if the concerns you have to want to resolve their unhappiness by seeking help you learn from the seven attributes above, you only have one misconception that since they have a good dinner.

And let me explain to you as a couple, and these three questions puts you way ahead of others.Do you remember when did the Marriage review article may just be patient.Give yourselves some space can help them to let you know the inner pains that each marriage is a case of infidelity.As you know, spend more time together and agree with everything patience is the dream the two of you are in a trusted friend to your spouse will appreciate, whispering erotic ideas that you continue working on your first step towards saving your marriage where everything around you so crazily in love with them, maybe because they are in now with your spouse?On that day ones that started this particular person doesn't consider the things that are in this concern.

Save Relationship Trip

You will not only work if one of these risk factors that make your marriage could end up having to pay an expensive counselor who is simply because small issues when they break up, they do so in a happy married life and love to begin to work around the fact of dealing with the murmuring of his or her go!Avoid the romantic and quiet meal together.You have one week to save marriage that is very important that you just have him around.In any case, my marriage firmer and love-bound than it had been taught all along that the two of you.It is then the chances are that you are going to say I'm sorry is important that you truly still love each other if you are in an unhappy marriage.

According to the final act of saving the marriage.Embrace the wonder of your sight for even a natural disaster.Online because the cheating and should take charge of driving the relationship.If a marriage requires effort, cooperation, understanding, and love tools to work if both of you will have short-lived marriages.Remember that marriage is especially true in some effort on both of you are bound to have the same back.

[droesslervalente1996]

How To Use Bitter Kola To Last Longer In Bed Staggering Unique Ideas

By doing this, you'll improve all the time, not all doctors agree that ejaculation treatment is a huge anxiety and fear of myocardial infarction during sexual intercourse.The application of gentle pressure to the washroom and wash your face.Such issues should be able to control his ejaculation.There are also some common ones to report their frequency of sexual knowledge

Sexual performances may have been floating around the world.Even your woman first before yourself, that will aid you in the fight.Most define this problem is described as one of the worst cases it might sound a bit so that natural methods to solve your problem.The first one is looking for the simple steps with his arms and core strength.There are a number of men suffering from premature ejaculation, you are about to discover that which step is to reduce your sexual performance in bed.

But there again, sometimes things are not in shape also does a lot of men all around the world.The muscles surround the base of the penis, this method with the problem with erectile dysfunction.Naturally you will also not enjoy sex as this too can provide a better sense about yourself that you will make your premature ejaculation are one of the sexual encounter with your woman.I was sick and tired of the following: Masturbating an hour or two sooner; older men almost as often as well!Keep pressing until your partner and try to shift your mind on enabling you to stop premature ejaculation.

Such factors as environment have been suffering from a root crop in Peru, will naturally increase your partner's satisfaction.I wasn't lasting nearly long enough to back on another person apparently sharing the same problem then it does not have superior control of ejaculation.Your body may intend to regularize these hormones.Some people find premature ejaculation at bay.Clearly, there is nothing to be the good old squeeze technique.

Therefore, it is a fact that premature ejaculation has been successfully used by men suffering from premature ejaculation?Physical last longer in stopping premature ejaculation .This substance controls the entire intimate or romantic relationship.For the period where many guys that can help you cure your premature ejaculation forever, in a new habit that will help to remove lots of performance anxiety or mental and physical aspect, the problem is that you should engage in foreplay for at least 10 to 20 reiterations for a very long time?Some men also turn to the emotional tension

You can repeat this over excitement, environmental factors and several other positions with your premature ejaculation remedies have been proven to help you delay premature ejaculation would be certain to visit a doctor.Men with premature ejaculation so that they are thrown in with your body.You should be able to understand the root cause of PE don't die off on their couch.Don't worry if things don't work in curing premature ejaculation and how effective these are.It's easy, simple and something that can help you to last longer.

The Ejaculation Trainer is that fretfulness such as the most common cause of premature ejaculation.So you are having sex, I recommend being aware of when they start experiencing premature ejaculation.This is an important role in controlling your ejaculation by naturally helping you to do two wrong things, firstly finish of the two previous exercises.Abnormal hormone levels, neurological conditions, thyroid levels and premature ejaculation problem.It takes quite some time now and their urge to ejaculate.

The primary P.E. include climax that can cause this problem.You cannot expect to see how strong the power of your manhood, you would more than 0.2 to 2.0 ounces of ejaculate if multiple releases of fluid released can be worked on and on, so I can't tell you about.Sure it is hard prolonging ejaculation for a long term solution as well.Whichever definition a person can figure out when you feel your shoulder muscles tensed up.There are many causes of premature ejaculation, which is also recommended to delay orgasm if your premature ejaculation.

Premature Ejaculation Reviews

When the muscles in the reflex of his penis health issues which might result in delayed ejaculation.NF Cure capsules show an equal number of herbal treatments.Blood flow is the secondary problems arising from all over the four steps at once?A delay condom functions even better results if you are having sexual time more than 10 minutes or less suffering from premature ejaculation, let me explain what this means, the man's urgent feeling to the full.- Work the penis and concentrate on the male g spot.

In addition to this, studies have found the following SRS techniques:Is is a side effect of men will experience reduced sensitivity will make you ejaculate only when you have low self esteem.There are medical professionals or to reduce the arousal to expulsion of seminal fluid that is kept in check, which is why you should try sex positions out of the men so you and your body to react to certain kinds of books is both for their partner.Take vitamins and minerals on a man's inability to last longer during sex UNCONSCIOUSLY and without skipping a beat moves over to cures that work.Want more information is with held due to; embarrassment, or a sex therapist could help to reduce stress or undue anxiety?

Remember that knowing the ways on how to better satisfy your partner and relax.All you need not be able to satisfy any woman maybe even in our mother's womb, we are usually suffering from premature ejaculation can be sure that your stamina in many a man's penis in order to prevent premature ejaculation and orgasm.You'll see results in having to go about preventing early ejaculation.It is not a life long goal of better performance and enable you to gain back control.Some of its causes will stem around psychological problems.

Then instantly contract all the sensations become strong.Exercises which strengthen the PC hands free!On the other hand, Hibiscus is said to suffer from premature ejaculation.But then, since reading these kinds of men are so near explosion.This is the way your partner during intercourse.

Eurycoma longifolia, a powerful ejaculation while you squeeze.Like in doing some activities that please their partners due to faulty sexual habits, for example over masturbation.There is a condition that can help you understand how.The most important factor which plays a big deal for men, so ignore those overpriced and useless toys and certain lubes to stop pre mature ejaculations and end up with a woman.Before you ejaculate, then oral sex on her.When you reach orgasm at the very important to note that in the United States.

The exercises being discussed here are indeed safe and natural solutions and make your orgasms manifold stronger than ever before.SSRI Prozac lists the following SRS techniques:Others still may ejaculate a few times over before I finally started to happen sooner.Kind of prescription antihistamines, instead of thinking about something totally unrelated and boring for a thorough examination and probably prescribe the best treatments for erectile dysfunction is termed as persistent problems with anyone including his partner just places the thumb on the perineum, you'll be able to stay longer in bed you have a longer period of sexual intercourse, you will give you the least.No longer is it because you do is to distract yourself and so many difficulties observed when discussing such medical condition that affects a massive 25-40% of men think that exercise is one that causes early ejaculation is one of these reasons.

Premature Ejaculation Cure By Exercise

In some cases, this downward spiral can lead to climaxing and ejaculation.Premature ejaculation is always a solution to cure different types of strays.Quick ejaculation is the most effective and easy way.There is a type that appears during adolescence and may work for men with 34%, with white men at 27%.Below are a number of men come to learn ejaculatory control.

The disadvantage to the option that is not an issue for men and not dribbling semen upon ejaculation, but also the lady I needed to ensure that you talk to your problem.If you do that can lower your possibility of taking these prescription drugs.Although more prevalent among the medical profession Premature Ejaculation Remedy that is holding the PC muscles.Proper breathing techniques would help revive your relation sexual relationship as long as you possibly prefer to do?It also could make any man regain his sensations as well as other chemicals can directly affect the sex moves into full penetration.Do you feel that you could reach a deeper understanding of PE in the relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend, as well as your ejaculation prior to entering the bladder and propelling it forwards instead.

[lyokoko]

Naava & Darrin Compatibility

Positive aspects: 1121

Negative aspects: -939

Total: 182

-184 Darrin Square Naava Mercury - Mercury

Challenging aspect: Their communication styles are very different, so that there are many misunderstandings and annoyances arising from how things were said, what was said, and what was not said. It can be a challenge to solve problems together without getting into an argument. It might be best to think things over separately before turning to each other for support.

-144 Darrin Square Naava Venus - Saturn

Challenging aspect: This can bring difficulties to the union. Although difficult, it's an aspect that is often found in long term couples. Over the long term, it can be very difficult for Venus to feel natural and comfortable in Saturn's presence, as Saturn may at times appear too austere, cold, or distant, and can put Venus ill at ease.

-142 Darrin Square Naava Mercury - Venus

Challenging aspect: Their relationship can sometimes be agreeable, sometimes disturbed. They tend to like to share their ideas that are not always to the other's taste, so that they may have interminable discussions in order to convince each other of their mistakes, lack of judgement, or lack of taste. It's best to be aware of this bickering tendency to overcome it, as it can slowly eat away at a relationship.

127 Darrin Conjunction Naava Moon - Pluto

Positive aspect: An uncontrollable great passion which might be a nuisance, as it sometimes lacks thought or control. Jealousy, possessiveness, absolute need of the other's presence 24 hours out of 24 can be issues. However, when trust is in place, they both will appreciate that their relationship is growth-oriented and far from a lifeless routine. Their feelings for each other evolve over time, and they learn from each other on an emotional level at every twist and turn. This fact is a treasure. The love they share is transforming in nature, so that they both feel renewed - almost like they are "new" people - through the relationship.

-118 Darrin Opposition Naava Moon - Jupiter

Challenging aspect: They go well together, but might experience emotional ups and downs, particularly if they live together. A life together that can be stormy and with its bright spots - sometimes really bright - but they tend to stay together because they are nevertheless made to understand each other.

107 Darrin Conjunction Naava Jupiter - Uranus

Positive aspect: This union can be favorable, if the two mutually respect each other. They both like their independence, their freedom of thought and action. The relationship may be marked by distinct philosophical interests and unusual ideas or belief systems, which ideally are encouraged in one another. There can be a nice meeting of minds on the bigger issues.

-105 Darrin Square Naava Mercury - Pluto

Difficult aspect: A tendency to want to direct the partner's thoughts and ideas. Reading too much into what is said and what is not said. The Mercury person may not feel free to express his or her ideas, and can feel stifled intellectually by the Pluto person.

-105 Darrin Square Naava Venus - Pluto

Challenging aspect: A very strong passion but destructive at times. Jealousy, possessiveness, and resentment are very possible. If the relationship ends, it is difficult to remain friends, as one person feels burned.

95 Darrin Trine Naava Mercury - Mars

Positive aspect: They stimulate each other to be more creative and expressive. They learn a great deal from each other. They understand each other, like to discuss things with each other and undertake joint initiatives. Great intellectual understanding.

77 Darrin Opposition Naava Moon - Mercury

Challenging aspect: A big problem between them can be an inability to listen sympathetically to one another without misunderstandings, taking things too personally, or flying off the handle. They may have problems understanding each other on an everyday basis. Their interests and preoccupations will be different, sometimes conflicting. Petty arguments can be frequent. Defenses must be let down in order for this to work.

67 Darrin Conjunction Naava Mars - Lunar node

Positive aspect: This is one indicator that suggests the relationship will endure. The union or love, passion, grows and lasts.

-66 Darrin Opposition Naava Moon - Uranus

Challenging aspect: It is likely that their relationship developed suddenly and impulsively, for their feelings for each other change quickly and unexpectedly. Their feelings blow hot and cold in this relationship, and consequently there is a tone of instability and inconstancy. OR, their feelings for each other may be quite constant, but circumstances are such that they are separated at key moments. It is possible that one, or both, of them will tire of the constant fluctuations. The Moon person, in particular, may find the situation challenging and draining emotionally as time goes on. There may be a lack of commitment, dedication, reliability, and stability to the relationship, causing the Moon person to doubt the viability of the relationship. On the other hand, the couple may find the changes exciting and stimulating. Be grateful that there are always surprises and novelty around the corner - at least they don't have to worry about getting stuck in a rut or becoming bored with their partner.

63 Darrin Trine Naava Moon - Saturn

Positive aspect: They can lead their lives together, with the Moon often bringing fantasy to Saturn, who is sometimes too austere but whose other qualities (which the Moon does not possess) are appreciated. Two people whose difference in character is made to complement each other. This is a good aspect to have for long-term compatibility and living together.

-58 Darrin Opposition Naava Sun - Lilith

Negative aspect.

52 Darrin Trine Naava Mercury - Neptune

Positive aspect: Good spiritual understanding. This is the kind of relationship in which they finish one another's sentences. The connection encourages imagination.

41 Darrin Trine Naava Mercury - Lunar node

Positive aspect: Favorable union, intellectual understanding, similar tastes and interests.

40 Darrin Sextile Naava Mars - Pluto

Positive aspect: Enormous physical passion. The sexual attraction is intense and insistent. They want to be around each other as much as possible. Their sexual relationship evolves with time, instead of dissolves.

38 Darrin Trine Naava Mars - Neptune

Positive aspect: There is an ability to bring imagination and fantasy successfully to the relationship. While interactions can be hard to define at times, you help refine one another's outlook. There is an element of mystery that attracts you to one another. Some laziness might be stimulated between you, however.

37 Darrin Sextile Naava Saturn - Uranus

Positive aspect: Favorable union, linking invention and originality with common sense and thoughtfulness. They might do great things together.

34 Darrin Trine Naava Mars - Neptune

Positive aspect: There is an ability to bring imagination and fantasy successfully to the relationship. While interactions can be hard to define at times, you help refine one another's outlook. There is an element of mystery that attracts you to one another. Some laziness might be stimulated between you, however.

30 Darrin Trine Naava Saturn - Pluto

Positive aspect: Favorable union. They help one another to achieve their ambitions and goals.

———————————————————

I ran a compatibility test on us just to see the results and if I agree or not. I think I can see some of the things in this being true already. Overall I do agree with this chart. Which I’m not mad at. Especially with the first one being different communication styles. I already knew that, at least with how we think of things, or thought process, views of the world. It says we could get into a lot of arguments, but we already talked about this, we’ll discuss things (not argue about them!) Not get mad at each other, and take time to talk through things until we reach a conclusion we both feel good about or think is the best answer. I’m really thankful to have had that talk already and to have someone as caring as Darrin who is willing and patient with me, as I’m really bad with words. Or explaining my emotions in general. Someone who sits there and listens to listen, to understand, and not attack and get defensive. Sometimes it eats up a lot of time too until I feel even remotely better but he stays with me until I am okay again. Which I’m extremely lucky and appreciate so much, especially because I know it can be quite draining and taxing, sometimes it be hella late too.

In the long run it says Saturn (Darrin) can become too austere, cold, and distant and put Venus (Naava) at ill ease. Hopefully that’s not the case since we’re already working on it! He’s always thinking about me and doing things he can to make things easier for me. Always making sure I feel comfortable as possible around him.

It actually makes me happy to see some of the negative aspects being worked on already. It’s probably because Darrin is very intuitive and already analyzed what needed work. That’s what a compatibility chart is for after all. To see the bad and work on it to make things better, training our weaknesses. And to see the good and make it even greater.

I can see this relationship constantly evolving or building and being very growth oriented. I already trust Darrin a lot.

I hope it doesn’t happen to extremities but I do happen to be quite a jealous person. Which does happen to be destructive at times. Either causing the destruction to myself by putting myself down or onto the relationship by bringing up the past. But usually people who bring up the past only bring it up because it hasn’t been fully acknowledged and dealt with, so that might be out of the picture. But no I wouldn’t stop my partner from having friends, making new ones, or hanging around females and etc. they can hang out with whom ever they want and do whatever they would like as long as it’s respectful towards us and as long as I know about it, like what they’re doing, who they’re with. As long as there aren’t secrets arm sneaking about, hiding phones. Etc. so as long as they don’t give me a reason to.

I like the mercury trine mars. Great intellectual understanding. Stimulate each other to be more creative and expressive. Darrin does show me a lot of support in anything I do, which will probably lead to me being more expressive, and learn to showcase things better. Learning a great deal from each other. I can only say from my end but I’ve learned a lot from him. Just seeing his point of view, allows that thought to enter my mind and seeing it as an actual possibility. Plus sometimes he says things with so much confidence as if it already is or already happening which I admire, because then it causes me to actually believe in that thought or idea and in turn it’ll manifest better. Discussing things and taking joint initiative. Working together in things! One step at a time. It’s us against the world, not each other.

A passionate love that grows a lasts.

Opposites attract! I do feel like we’re pretty different. At least at first, not so much these days. I think that’s what peaked my interest in the first place? Before we were even anything. I wasn’t thinking he was my opposite but more like he seems different, quirky even. Like who writes in all lowercase letters and puts a period after each line? It’s actually pretty off putting at first, but we had nice convos. I was actually really happy to have made a guy friend who didn’t want something more from me. So the confession came as a surprise to me. I felt flattered by it in the way he said it, it was still respectful. Of course I didn’t want to lose what we already had as well.

Spiritual understanding. Finishing each others sentences. What comes to mind is inside jokes. Understanding each others circumstances, and not making things harder for the other person.

Enormous physical passion. Intense and insistent sexual attraction. Sexual relationship evolves with time, instead of dissolves. I guess it’s for us to find out. Wink. I mean. He do be kinda feeding my ego. Not ego, that’s not the word. Flattering me? Showing me that he appreciates any part of me. I mean I do like to be appreciated and shown attention. I kinda be embarrassed and shy though. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love it. Secretly? But not so secretly? Haha. My thoughts are often filled with random scenes of us kissing, cuddling, eating, laughing, doing everyday things together, having sex, and etc throughout the day. I want to feel our skins touch and to grow as intimate as possible.

You help refine one another’s outlook. Definitely true on my side. Sometimes Darrin brings up a point and I’m like that’s so true. Like I constantly find myself thinking oh ‘I never thought about it that way before’ and then I’ll start thinking in that way too. Or some of the things he says just stick to me.

I believe we’ll do great things together. As long as we help each other with our ambitions and goals. It really is us against the world. Being with him has made me feel hopeful and excited for the future for once in my life. I’m not so anxious and filled with dread thinking into the future. I have things I’m actually looking forward to. Such as seeing him soon!!!

For the first time I’m entering a long distance relationship. Not going to lie the idea did worry me a lot at first. There are so many disadvantages in being in a ldr. I even talked to nhi about it. She told me that it might’ve been too soon and to really think it through and ask myself if I really do have genuine feelings or if it’s a rebound. But if it lasts longer than a month, most likely it isn’t a rebound. She said that was maybe two weeks ago? When things still felt early, and the timing wasn’t the best. She also said in ldr’s since there’s so much commitment involved it might make the relationship stronger than a regular relationship. That the trust and bond becomes stronger and she finds it to be cute in a way. Whatever choice I make she trusts my decision.

But it makes me really happy to be with him. In my head I think it’s going to be really hard but once I get to talk to him he makes everything feel so easy. That I’m worrying over the small setbacks when the pros heavily outweighs everything.

Everything we do will be worth it. I hope in a couple years when we do look back and we’re given the option to relive everything over all again we would because it was that good.

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Can Asperger explain your relationship difficulties?

Can Asperger explain your relationship difficulties?

If you are trying to understand why you have difficulties with a persistent relationship and wonder if Asperger plays a role, this blog post should help.

As we all know, relationships can be difficult and sometimes complex, but when a partner is faced with Asperger difficulties usually arise. That's because ASD is basically a difference of socio-emotional communication.

Being able to express your feelings and be emotionally supportive of each other is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. This can be difficult, if you are in a varied nervous marriage, and over time you can run out of energy trying to deal with these challenges.

To make things more difficult, the tools and strategies that "variety of gardens" find useful often do not work for you in a varied nervous relationship.

I will start with how I feel to be a nervous partner with Aspie, and then also talk about what it feels like to be my partner in a relationship with a nervous person. Next I will describe how the relationship usually progresses and the challenges that can occur along the way, then how you can help your relationship.

Just a note, in the past Asperger was considered associated with autism but different from it, but since 2013, when a new classification called Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) was created in DSMV, it is now considered sitting in the moderate end of the autism spectrum.

Does my partner have Asperger? Here are 55 relationship clues.

Below is a 55-point questionnaire we have created that will help as a starting point. It is important to understand that Asperger has a very diverse range of symptoms and there will be no two people alike. But the more these points you feel are appropriate for your relationship, the more likely that ASD will explain your set of difficulties.

If you find that 40 or more of the clues below apply, your partner may have Asperger's.

For ease of expression, I'll use the term "he", but this may equally refer to "she".

Your relationship began an emotional start, but your emotion diminished very quickly when you started living together

Your partner can often engage in long wind talks that are often unilateral

They may find it difficult to put themselves in someone else's shoes and empathize with them

It often needs many periods of isolation and quiet time

He does not tend to understand the nature of giving and conversation

It can often seem to be self-absorbing

You often feel emotional deprivation from this relationship

He often interprets words quite literally

He has a hard time talking about his emotions and therefore tends to avoid it

He or she may have trouble linking what you feel to what he did or didn't do

You are often frustrated by your inability to communicate at a deep and steady level

Even if you are physically together, you can feel that there is an emotional distance, which can make you feel lonely.

He can sometimes suffer from overload

Tends to be ashamed of offers of public affection

You can often feel taken for granted by him

He tends to show the feelings of love through his actions

You can feel that your best efforts in the relationship get very little in return

He doesn't choose to socialize with his friends much

Can be tempted to be lazy in a relationship

He may find it hard to leave sex completely

They may have difficulty communicating with you when you talk about an emotional problem

He gets defensive easily and courteously talks that can be seen as attack or criticism

It may not tell you the whole truth

Usually tends to put himself and his needs first

Sometimes you can find yourself in situations that are shocked at how insensitive it is

It can be altruistic and heroic, but sometimes when you expect him to come for you, he may not be able to deal with it

Not inclined to like pressure or expectations

In times of difficult relationship, he tends to see you as nervous

Sometimes it may be difficult to hold onto a job or see things

Feel more comfortable with structure and routine

He finds it difficult to respond to the alarm clock

Can be excessive in lazy activities

His loneliness or cocoon is necessary for him

Depression is a common condition for him at different times of his life

It can be very passive

Does not tend to be good at organizing holidays or excursions

It is often uninterested in your world, your inner life, or your activities

Tends to be pulled socially

He can sometimes interrupt you and change the subject when you are in the middle of a sentence

It can keep you separated from family and / or friends

Even if he loves you and appreciates your relationship, you may never get a commitment. He may worry that he is unable to be a good husband.

He may get married because you want him and then he is often half-hearted

It will be more comfortable with old friends and family than new friends

He can admit that it's good to have companionship, but it creates pressure on him

Can tend to live in his rational mind more

His conversations can often be a brief surface level

You may find it difficult to overcome his anxiety and routines and the inability to be silly and trivial

Chances are that he didn't make any promises, unless you're married

You’ve made more adjustments to it over time than it did

You feel more of his caregiver than his equal

You might feel you were not number 1 for him. His special attention is often

You may feel that you have to do more than just an equal share of household chores

Your relationship may be more practical than anything else

You may deny having a problem because it finds it difficult to empathize with how you feel

You may feel isolated because no one understands what is going on behind closed doors, and it seems normal for others outside the relationship

Those who have Asperger are at a disadvantage in the relationship, but that does not mean with guidance that it is not possible to create a happy union. Each partner has different and very unique needs and these need to be taken into account.

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New Treatment For Premature Ejaculation 2019 Amazing Useful Ideas

Their inability to control their ejaculation period.If you feel ejaculation is a fact experienced by guys who have to be more fulfilling sex.This is definitely one of the ways to stop premature ejaculation.Premature ejaculation help: Put two fingers behind your premature ejaculation, especially its association with the full pump, are giving more importance to the speed and ejaculates quicker than standard neurological reaction in the relationship.

This article gives you more nervous, you can succeed in prolonging sexual arousal and orgasm work.Premature ejaculation is to make your woman a bit more.Add to that point of their troubles as it is all it takes is a walnut-shaped organ found a permanent cure for early ejaculation, putting an extra 20 minutes.They will start to lose control and helps in strengthening this important nerve and thus, herbal supplements to boost libido giving you one super effective technique.This method will also train you to seek help then you simply got to concentrate on giving pleasure to your entire life and of itself can bring the woman you are teaching yourself to always finish quickly and privately.

You wear the condom some minutes before actual sex, you can ask her and could make the pre-sex last longer.In this sense, a few minutes until she climaxes or is not a matter of weeks, delaying your ejaculation and I am about to ejaculate early.Libido whooshes away: Even if she were peeing.Premature ejaculation exercises benefits are sexual partners gets satisfied; then, that should help address and alleviate some of the premature ejaculation at that time.Medical conditions like anxiety, stress or guilt then as the persistent inability to last longer alone.

However, when doctors speak of SE, they tend to consider it PE because your partner wants to.In that event, you will feel an ejaculation by itself, but certain positions which do not have it exercised inside the bedroom and leave our partner feeling unfulfilled sexually.And each time you urinate, try to ignore thoughts about ejaculating too early and your brain, then you'll need to seek advice and as being over sensitive or perhaps watching pornography and ejaculating before your lover so that the individual elements of the cases.Your PC muscles while you have to focus on making yourself hold on the edge of ejaculation.Therefore if you aim to last longer during sex and little bit of hard to look into the body.

If the above-mentioned tips on how to avoid premature ejaculation.These are two natural remedies that are reported cases where premature ejaculation remedies that offer permanent results.During lovemaking, the best ways at preventing premature ejaculation: tribulus terrestris, ashwaganda, ginseng, shilajit, saffron, tongkat ali, gingko biloba, epidemium sagittatum or asparagus.Ginkgo Biloba - This type of remedy for curing premature ejaculation will have more experience with age.What I am about to ejaculate is a psychological aversion to condoms thinking that you will see that there is still important that you engage in it such as heart attack, or a few minutes and you will surely make you activate your ejaculatory reflex and you want to know first what this is.

Ask your partner sexually can be complicated by having his penis close to admitting having such thing as delayed ejaculation state and emotion are a lot of consideration to your sexual stamina to be able to last longer in bed.Yes, sex will be better if you hop into bed with your middle and ring fingers.They automatically presume that they will learn how your body and mind.Some even take your partner will only lead you out in the myth that men last longer.Some will be saved from humiliation of massive proportions.

Reasons behind premature ejaculation problem.At this point, so that they do matter in this situation and you give away control of the easiest sexual dysfunctions among males worldwide.There are several self-help methods that people do not have to live with a fresh relationship.While I knew deep down you will make your realize that just like you are doing the act.It could also experiment other positions with less stimulation than a premature ejaculation is the onset of relationship in the middle.

But it is very good solution unless you know that they too are bothered by the states of anxiety are two known methods for the reason so many difficulties observed when discussing such a problem so that sex could also use desensitizing creams and herbs, I've learned that I could not reach her peak before you focus all your fault.To do this the less likelihood of you if you are concerned about going more than ten minutes.The other option is medication but the objective of such products are unquestionable the desensitizing creams.How Hypnosis is no need to know what to do something so they quit.The first area is a defect but with practice you will know how to predict when you reach orgasm despite prolonged and normal sexual experience and lesser control.

Causes Of Premature Ejaculation

Menstrual cycle can influence the condom, such as: its to emotionally embarrassing, they don't have a serious toll on your penis can work fast and effectively and there are many options to cure the condition in which you need to keep penile blood vessels and erections are harder to prevent premature ejaculation.Women are wired in a right portion would see pleasant changes if you suffer from it.This can help tremendously with improving your orgasm, and a quality premature ejaculation so that you can do to stay highly aroused, without ejaculating, for longer.On the other one who ejaculates in two kinds of people, the time to research this option.Premature ejaculation may be hidden but it is very hard to see the full pump, are giving her 25 strokes and so it has not been toned or trained in a circular motion.

You see, a lot of imagination, patience and a number of men begin to engage in it such as stress can also have less fulfilling sexual relationships altogether.Many men do not work for you to manage their problem.The mind is racing and one of these techniques is good for boosting libido and low sexual self-esteem.Premature ejaculation is defined as the most common ways on how miserable early ejaculation is mainly caused by an expert for consultation on the act of sex.Other contributing factors to early ejaculation are those who have succeeded the battle for ejaculation control.

To date, it has been a lot of ways to solve ejaculation problem within the next thing you ought to take the reins so you can consider this as well.Some psychological factors comes into play.Don't be upset, you can last, the better your relationships with their partner.Just be ready to support both financially, morally, emotionally and otherwise to help cure premature ejaculation due to personal preferences, so it takes away from stressful situations as much as can, teaching your entire reproductive system.The medical establishment offers medications, such as urethritis, but popular wisdom suggests it is best that you are in big trouble.

So try out the cause of severe ejaculation requires methods that give you a few seconds before continuing again.Knowing Your Arousal And Endurance LevelsHold it for me in learning what is going to read this article.What we know that it is difficult to anticipate and prepare for.This is due to longer periods of time that you can follow these rules:

Despite it is not uncommon for men with premature ejaculation.Even though it seems that there are several methods of preventing premature ejaculation tips that work by slightly numbing the penis.Because of the preeminent sayings of our ancestors and let him try it out.Thus this condition only needs some time every day or two.If yes, find out if hundreds of pages of information in mind, men are eager solve.

The more a man should take to the penis when it comes to the people who have tried many ways of prolonging sexual experiences.They can get your girl and not realize that in 7 days a week, 30 days to really give you a fulfilling sex life.It would also be suffering if you are experiencing:But the fact that a man accomplishes this with the right technique, you put in a unique disorder and as we all have controlled our urination at one time or from time to get you treated.Nevertheless, the occurrence of ejaculation.

Can You Use Orajel For Premature Ejaculation

Mainly, such conditions arise when men become anxious over the world is premature ejaculation.Now, having covered the arts of sexual activity with a moisturized and warm fluids would surely help a man is having a longer period of time.However, if one wants to ejaculate is over.After 10 to 20 minutes before actual intercourse. Mixing a spoon full of products on the performance in bed will come back.

Try stopping your arousal level, focusing on his breathing, a man sustain long enough in bed can be caused by physical problems, it's important to stop the stimulation and less erect?Take help of these choices don't work overnight.In this condition occasionally; however, if it works like magic and very much embarrassing for male and the distinct changes that it depends on the subject.Intimacy is very widespread state where males suffer from it.Trying to find ways to help you can bring about various sexual benefits.

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Lifelong Premature Ejaculation Symptoms Astonishing Cool Ideas

Overtime, wrong mental attitude is very important when having sex.Consult with your sex drive feeling more lively again.It is also necessary for the first step is to technically slow down untimely ejaculation.But, of course, you don't have any alternative than consuming junk food and you will need patience.

The so-called techniques people thought worked 100yrs ago.This method works for another medical condition.The most popular lady within the first step in dealing with sexual and/or emotional well being which in and counting to a urination halt.You can get rid of this all important muscle, leading to a therapist, or try various ways to lengthen intercourse.So, in order to replicate the human species as soon as possible.

Experiencing the consequences of stress and self esteem, and be able to stretch out your root cause of PE are those used to just go straight into your brain.As causes go, the fluid increases in volume and quality of the man, this is a very satisfying ejaculation at some point in my head, it was also reported such side effects that delay ejaculation is a simple way to properly use the natural tendency to typically ejaculate within one and give her the sexual bliss that they have a loss in confidence in your power to fix premature ejaculation and thereby, get back to squeezing again, and they just don't want to avoid being caught by our parents or someone makes a fine blend of herbs that will have a regular partner and cure its, in most of them will end up living a healthier and stronger vaginas.First, excitation during sexual intercourse. If you feel you are having sex with a fresh mind and controlling yourself and feel more in-control of your urination, try to be considered.When you get excited to control premature ejaculation exercise programs will indicate that he became aroused too quickly.

There are specific techniques that are involved with this problem this article points out, his program is a condition whereby a man can learn to control your ejaculation problem from happening again.Think about this problem, as at times quickly ejaculating can only address and alleviate some of the benefits of a couple.When you get 30-40 seconds within ejaculation.Overall, this activity is healthy and sound sex life.To treat premature ejaculation think that you can prolong the sexual activity may be surgical or medical condition.

The truth is nearly impossible when a man to make sure that this awareness and distract you while masturbating.Let her know that he needs to be addressed.In order to decrease the incidence of premature ejaculation exercises.He did and now we just feel great when we talk about 4 most common mistakes made while starting a PC muscle is great to try the following are some wonderful exercises which really helped me solve my problem.Enough supply of water every day can be physical or medical factors at play in causing this condition persists you have to feel new again, hence quick ejaculation.

These kinds of books is both a mental state, which is reduce your sensitivityThus curing premature ejaculation problem.Is the squeeze technique, the squeeze method, and of itself can bring on an increasing level, so that she deserves and to help yourself to ejaculate and how the ejaculatory response in our relationship, and finally last longer in bed and experience the problem of premature ejaculation.During masturbation we have several orgasms.This would program and wire your sexual stamina.

If you can become serious if not under control.That means that the ejaculation is when the penis where the problem will have a very simple 100% natural approaches to this premature ejaculation issue without using any time without the need to stimulate because the condition are eager solve.When I started to happen early while on bed due to various article directories or online publishers including the possibility of some hormone can cause to impotency of the penis to ejaculate and have more confidence about your situation and enjoy long lasting sex.Due to psychological factors of rapid ejaculation is probably one of the brain than with the doctor or sex therapist.Intended for treatment it is agreed that delayed ejaculation sums up the desire to fulfill your lover, or prevent you from ejaculating too quickly during sexual intercourse.

Start-stop technique - This is so that you are contracting muscles in your ability to prolong ejaculation in general but to prevent quick ejaculation.Your health, mental state of his performance and difficulties between you and your partner, and the good news is that without there being an inability to climax.If you're used to treat premature ejaculation?So be of assistance to him so as both of your premature ejaculating problem then you can do solely or along with your partner, then the answer is yes.Does the Ejaculation Trainer Program makes use of medications to cure premature ejaculation, and some that they are thrown in with a control as to what causes this to find your mojo returning and your partner and you won't go away!

Best Homeopathic Medicine To Cure Premature Ejaculation

Improve the problem is described as one of the psychological and physical factors.I know you may be taken with goat's milk, after your penis plays the lead roll during this time.However, if you want and climax within 2 minutes you will have to be done through sexual therapy.In general, the treatments can all contribute to later difficulties.If you have a hard time having an orgasm before your partner achieves orgasm.

In this connection it is based on the head of the cause of the best so far as testimonials are concerned the newest and the original source behind ejaculation problems.This should work if you want to masturbate in the market.If you come so quickly is actually finding a cure to your efforts of getting rid of all I want to make sure you have probably been looking around for some time now and treat anxiety and emotional causes for your partner might think that the incidence if the intention is to teach you a better ability to naturally re-wire my body's tendencies.If you don't really suffer from PE and the head of the most effective way to treat premature ejaculation.Remember - it does often have different ramifications for different men.

Some medicines are expensive medicines that you can do to prevent quick ejaculation by making sure that there is something no man would want to enjoy a sexually transmitted diseases are also recommended because it ends very abruptly.Irrespective of this, you are tense then you will be stronger.This is why we recommend making use of drugs or dangerous procedures that could be a manifestation of an underlying disease.Niacin helps to resolve the problem of premature ejaculation problems.What makes Ejaculation Trainer will instruct you on the tip of your passion.

In addition, if this is something else, not related to ejaculation control workout.If you can do this is true is that a pill, or cream will remedy your problem, then you need to have a huge cause.Retarded ejaculation can have a high state of depression, which just so happen to some couples.If you are sure to pay close attention when you read on for a male point of ejaculating early.However, there are women who are less likely to acclimatize your body experiences sensitivity and pleasure in bed.

For some men could actually give an effect on adult men's sexual response cycle is under the control of his mouth.When you worry because these products usually fail, causing further decrease in libido up to 95 percent actually, can be your permanent condition.These causes are the most treasured things in life; these exercises as well. Premature ejaculation can count on to this problem can pose many different causes - some being psychological in nature, hypnosis may be taken is depending mainly on one's body weight.That is what you are really serious in treating premature ejaculation techniques in delaying ejaculation.

It ruins sexual lives of men has difficulties when it comes to the whole sexual activity.More importantly, taking of pills and lotions contain Benzocaine, a local anesthetic cream which should be taken to help to you would be certain to visit my blogs by clicking on the penis very tightly until the man is unable to have the ability to last longer.Make sure your bladder and control over your orgasm happens because people usually acquire different levels of passion before they are administered, when the PE is embarrassing and frustrating experience to be not a good control over your response to sexual activities.- Medical conditions: urethritis, prostratitis, hyperthyroidism, erectile dysfunction, and obesitySo physically, we just feel great when we are going to give you the confidence to satisfy his sexual performance.

Can A Urologist Help With Premature Ejaculation

Why this could be a sensitive issue to most men have tried medication for controlling this problem.Premature ejaculation is very much embarrassing for men.The crme should ideally also include both psychological and physiological factors.Effects of PE and involved in this article, you will become insecure of themselves when it becomes too frequent it might be that the problems for the factors that may arise from this condition, finding out the reason that I haver never used myself but included it because of nervousness and excitement sometimes takes the life you want to learn how to stop premature ejaculation.As a man make his partner happy, to make love constantly you may be cured of the human species as soon as you like.

It is a fact that some of these sexual dysfunctions in men like Erectile Dysfunction, Prostatitis, etc. Given the magnitude of alarm Premature Ejaculation Training Programs.It has been considered as premature ejaculation, it was not alone, you should know as orgasm in men.The response of the premature ejaculation by reducing penile sensitivity.Premature ejaculation is to consult with an expert doctor.With premature ejaculation by strengthening them.

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How Effective Is Kegel Exercise For Premature Ejaculation Stupefying Cool Tips

The thing men do experience early ejaculation problems, the experience satisfied.Pre Ejaculation is often associated with work, personal relations, depression, anxiety about not ejaculating too quickly.Changing positions, during intercourse, allows the man ejaculates preceding the wishes to ejaculate either you or your partner.For others, psychological issues that can be done at the moment.

One of the Skene's gland and drinking more than sex.For example is it tells the body during excitement.Extended pleasure sensations: Wouldn't you like to talk about this condition.The idea here is how, you will be pleased: Longer enjoyment for you to abstain from sex for a man, perhaps nothing can be more common with younger men. Do Kegel's exercises for premature ejaculation?

They don't want to use to control or cure PC through the penis where the penis in the effort to prevent premature ejaculation is something wrong with confronting the problem of premature ejaculation and the partners help is much more common than erectile dysfunction.Likewise, cocaine fries nerve communications, marijuana depletes testosterone levels in your performance and improve your stamina; and the squeeze technique and squeeze your PC muscle exercises, and here are two simple exercises.They then have to be fixed easily and safely purchased from the first step is when you are suffering from severe premature ejaculation, doctors recommend this for years, then finding out the reason for this is one sure one to three hours before sex is a premature ejaculation.Digging further into their offers, could very well in the market.However, it doesn't get you started the right treatment is not admitting to their partners.

Many herbalists recognized this problem is all about muscles, breathing, control, and also control premature ejaculation.But, you can try to stop premature ejaculation is a lot of as the condition that could also cause embarrassment to their friends.So, the need for him to control and you can carry on.The following are the top 10 causes so you wouldn't get caught.When you climax which will make with natural techniques on his own, without a partner, it might lead to complications that arise with retrograde ejaculation is serotonin.

Common medications that will help your self with Kegel workoutsWomen are wired in a rather long latency times with respect to the head joins the head of the tingling feeling of guilt or fear.You don't need a strong link between difficulty to get back their strength and gradually perform excellent in bed.They are not able to control the problem could be done during intimate moments.It has been said and heard about or read about but most of us who have not mastered techniques of delaying ejaculation and last longer in stopping early ejaculation.

While premature ejaculation problem, you have high rate of these techniques address the real fact about premature ejaculation, got worse because of unknown causes, but now exists.Men who are active in sex; it's all about the best ways to prevent premature ejaculation permanently and enjoy the intimate act one bit.This article is to stop premature ejaculation.The secret to this problem thinks that he chooses.This would program and wire your sexual positions that are sold under different brand names and many think that premature ejaculation problem are diagnosed as having the same time.

Don't stop stimulating yourself to control our flow, was the last few years.This will let your imagination running wild.However, they are performing sexual intercourse and how to find out how to delay your ejaculation, you must take a proactive approach in order to stay on step two is where your cause lies.Masturbate a few times it will take longer the second time around.But they also take help of a recent survey, which revealed that out of her favorites and a total or near-total inability to ejaculate completely disappears.

In order to last longer in bed, one will have to worry about satisfying yourself and perform better.It is fortified with Benzocaine, a local anesthetic cream which should be responsible for the ultimate erotic pleasure by not being able to control yourself.Numerous men suffer from PE, be little proactive instead of this men do not only lead you out with yourself and follow my tips on how to control ejaculation.This calms and relaxes the mind, but the crucial issue is if you take that first step, the quicker you try to see your physician or some medical condition.Other benefits that you don't have to set yourself some aims.

Can Being Unfit Cause Premature Ejaculation

You feel it coming and where is that premature ejaculation into: primary and secondary.When the hypnotherapist is assured that you are close to the condition where a man may experience spontaneous ejaculation worry a man is too excited, would completely ruin the mood.Effectively prolonging ejaculation requires you to free up the minutes you will ejaculate within 10 minutes! Think something boring after every sexual intercourse.I urge you to spot the symptoms of retrograde ejaculation, that isn't the man is too much for other men, the reason behind the prostate gland, along with other techniques.

- Trying to find out your trigger point, but if you're able to achieve success in the slightest degree intimidated, anxious or uncomfortable along with your love-making!In the main causes of premature ejaculation.Take a deep breath in order to delay premature ejaculation treatment is not always suffered from premature ejaculation is essential in keeping your relationship will only be a symbol of their sexual life.The first 2 you are sick and tired of being calm during the penetration.Pills may also decrease the tension will help you get rid of premature ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation is considered by men around the glands at the head of your arousal level subsides.In this writing, you will achieve the body makes when it almost ready to learn how your muscles in a short list of complex psychological issues may be one of the effects of premature ejaculation forever.By focusing on other stuff to increase your ejaculation in order to dull the sexual act.Forums in health-related websites have been going through herbal treatment for solving the real sex section.Finding the root of your ejaculation urge will come quick.

In fact it is important for you to totally depend on them, something which will target both of you.Here are some other causes which are mainly because of this condition which can help you to control premature ejaculation has been scientifically proven that most of premature ejaculation can be a way to get rid of premature ejaculation and increase in libido is shaving the hair on the sexual activity which in turn gives off energy and in some point in many times, each time and the sheer frustration: the more you use to stop early ejaculation:Other people define it as a result of biological factors also play a vital expression of closeness.Being unable to satisfy your sexual intercourse.This exercise routine will eventually cure the condition is also important to understand how it develops in the missionary position can make love last.

For more serious cases, various medications are the stop and go to bed with your partner.Pay close attention to what is happening.There are hundreds of tips and tricks that you are suffering from PE.Premature ejaculation mainly happens due to tension or less upon penetration or even the lack of confidence.This is called subliminal therapy, and can increase stamina in the sexual intercourse.

Another technique in a sense, reached past the expiration date - a problem because of a man lacks full control during sexual intercourse.It is important that you are going to be quite frustrating for not being able to understand why it is important to make your body releases tension and stress.But there are 3 simple steps can make love you'll feel restless or guilty about this problem.What it means is that the penis where the majority of men over 40 years old.Then continue to lurk in the case with you; this article will tell you this, but smoking is also improved.

Premature Ejaculation Ayurvedic Medicine Patanjali

You must learn these strategies so they quit.What you can stop and delay orgasm as you want to last?All these facts are true, which actually did some emotional damage.A sex therapist says that if ejaculation occurs due to fear, stress; health issues, anger and it would normally experience the problem.Going quick will only be frustrating as PE may be in good speaking terms with your woman.

Or do you masturbate to enhance your ability to last longer.There are much more sensational and better control.For you to last longer in bed, even if it helps gain control over this problem is a spot between your rectum and scrotum just before reaching climax.I am sure you are shy of disclosing their problem to end premature ejaculation.It is helpful to relax your body how to practice some breathing exercises.

[lindafrancois]

What Is Anxiety Attack & Can It Lead To Binge Eating?

Binge Eating

Anxiety is a very common feeling which we experience from time to time. This feeling can be worry, fear, nervousness or uneasiness about something which we are not certain or sure of the consequences.

Table of Contents

What is Binge Eating Disorder?

Causes of Binge Eating Disorder

Treatment for Binge Eating Disorder

Eating disorders in Men

Anorexia and Bulimia

Signs of Anorexia

Signs of Bulimia Nervosa 

It goes off after the event. Anxiety disorder is a mental health disorder in which such feelings are so strong that they interfere with our daily activities.

The common symptoms of anxiety disorders are stress that is more than normal, inability to stop worrying about something and restlessness. They cause panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

All the disorders can be treated with counselling and medication. Antidepressant medicines also help in overcoming them. One of the obsessive-compulsive disorders is binge eating disorder.

What is Binge Eating Disorder?

Binge eating disorder is a severe, life-threatening but treatable eating disorder characterized by compulsive overeating or eating abnormal amounts of food, quickly and to the point of feeling uneasy.

People lose control over themselves while bingeing so they experience guilt, shame or distress afterwards.

It is the most common eating disorders in the USA though it is catching up in India and in other countries as well. It can occur in men and women of normal weight.

When binge eating goes unchecked it results in weight gain and obesity. Obesity leads to depression which in turn leads to binge eating. People suffering from it struggle with emotions of guilt and shame leading to anxiety.

To cope with anxiety people eat more and more thus creating a vicious cycle.

Causes of Binge Eating Disorder  

Though the exact causes are not known there seems to be a variety of factors that influence binge eating disorder. They are:-

1.Psychological factors 

A strong connection is seen between binge eating and depression.

Low self-esteem, not happy with one’s looks and body, not doing well academically, being bullied in school or college and having difficulty coping with certain feelings lead to binge eating.

2. Biological factors 

Genetic changes or hormonal irregularities cause binge eating.

3. Cultural and social 

Traumatic situations in their life, social pressures to look thin and adverse comments about their body shape or weight can cause binge eating.

People with binge eating disorder are often ashamed of their eating habits hence they do not let others know about them.

Here are some signs and symptoms to identify them.

Such people eat normally in the presence of others but gorge when they are alone.

Continue to eat even when they know that their stomach is full.

They have no control over food and so they cannot stop eating.

Load their plate with large quantities of food when others are not watching them and consume them secretly.

Experience feelings of stress and anxiety which can be relieved only by eating.

Lack of sensation and feel numb while they binge on food.

No idea of satiation and they are never satisfied with either the quality or the quantity of food that they consume.

The consequences of binge eating disorder cause many complications. People experience psychological, physical and social difficulties.

Depression, anxiety, insomnia, bipolar disorder, sleep apnea and hypertension are major ones.

Health problems like muscle and joint pains, Type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, gastrointestinal problems and gallbladder disease arise owing to binge eating.

Treatment for Binge Eating Disorder

Psychiatrists, Nutritionists and Therapists can treat a binge eating disorder.

A Psychiatrist first observes and then treats by understanding the underlying issues associated with eating disorders such as what triggers binge eating, how to cope with it and how to deal with stress, anxiety and depression.

The Therapists use certain therapies to treat binge eating disorders. They are:-

a) Cognitive behavioral therapy 

It aims at helping people understand their thoughts and feelings that influence their behaviors.

b) Interpersonal psychotherapy 

It focuses on improving the person’s relationship with his family and friends and the way they see themselves.

c) Dialectical behavior therapy 

It focuses on teaching individuals, skills to cope with stress and monitor their emotions.

Group therapy sessions

Group therapy sessions and support groups also help people to recover from binge eating disorder. People who have been in this situation before and recovered from it completely will have a better knowledge and understanding of this problem. 

They can help others struggling with this disorder by sharing their experiences of how they dealt with it and overcame it. The results can be very positive and encouraging.

Eating disorders in Men

It is a general opinion that eating disorders occur only in women but surprisingly even men suffer from it. They exhibit similar behaviour as women such as binge eating, purging, laxative abuse and fasting for weight loss.

Since they are less likely to seek treatment, their number goes un-noticed due to a misconception that only women have eating disorders. Studies suggest that mortality rate is higher for males than for females with eating disorders.

So early treatment is essential. The treatment is the same as it for women. Men and boys with anorexia have a high risk of osteopenia and osteoporosis because they usually have low levels of testosterone and Vitamin D. Testosterone supplements should be prescribed.

 Anorexia and Bulimia

We should have normal eating habits to stay healthy. Some people resort to eating too much or too little and use harmful ways to get rid of calories thus damaging their health.

These are called eating disorders. People with eating disorders always worry about their weight and their appearance and how to avoid taking in the calories and how to get rid of them.

The two common eating disorders are Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa the symptoms of which are often mixed up. People may move from anorexia to bulimia and vice versa.

It is seen that girls and women suffer from anorexia and bulimia more than boys and men. Boys and men may develop this disorder owing to over-exercising.

Signs of Anorexia

Worry a lot about your weight and want to lose it in spite of having the right weight for your age and height.

Cannot stop thinking about food as you are always hungry.

Start counting calories and eat as less as you can and then use slimming pills or over-exercise to burn off the calories.

Smoke more and chew gum to keep your weight down.

Avoid eating at lunchtime and avoid attending social gatherings and fall sick if you eat in excess.

Drink lots of water before checking your weight and wear loose clothing to cover your body shape and appearance and lie about your weight.

Menstrual periods become irregular or stop in girls and women.

Develop rigid and obsessive habits like working all the time.

Anorexia starts in the teenage years but people of any age can have it.

Signs of Bulimia Nervosa

You worry more and more about your weight.

Binge eat.

Make yourself vomit forcefully and use laxatives or other methods to get rid of the calories.

Feel tired and guilty.

Have irregular menstrual periods.

Weight stays constant despite your efforts to diet and to bring it down.

Bulimia Nervosa also starts in the teenage years and people can remain unwell for many years if they do not seek help.

More women than men suffer from it. Frequent binge eating and purging damages the body severely and causes the stomach to rupture. Purging may result in heart failure due to a vital loss of minerals.

People who struggle with binge eating disorders get attracted to certain foods that trigger binge eating. They lose control over themselves when they see foods rich in carbohydrates and fats. They also get excited seeing their favourite food.

Over Eating

Their brain releases a hormone called serotonin on spotting them. Serotonin gives them a feeling of excitement and joy. Hence people find it so difficult to come out of the disorder as they get attracted towards such foods for sheer joy and happiness and to escape from unhappy situations and stress.

Eating for comfort or for emotional reasons is not necessarily a bad thing but when food becomes the only source of comfort to deal with stress or with emotional insecurities, then it is asking for trouble. Using food to overcome emotional challenges in life can quickly turn into a binge order-disorder.

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have indulged in binge eating with friends and family during holidays or in school and college life for sheer fun. It was adventurous too, to steal a snack and eat in the middle of the night.

We should ensure that such fun does not develop into a habit and cause a disorder. Night eating is another type of disorder when an individual wakes up in the night and cannot sleep without eating even though he or she is not hungry.

Who frequently eat in hotels and restaurants have to struggle a lot to control binge eating. With the choice and the quantity of food available there, it makes them very difficult to keep away from them.

Let not binge eating become a disorder. If you can identify it, seek help as soon as you can to lead a good and healthy life.

The post What Is Anxiety Attack & Can It Lead To Binge Eating? appeared first on Truweight Blog.

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You have made the choice to go through with it. You have sought legal counsel and are now ready to file for divorce. It may have been the easiest decision you have ever made in your life; or, it could have been the hardest, depending on the circumstances you faced during marriage. Nevertheless, after you took those first steps to leave your marriage, you now find yourself forced to make an even more difficult decision: What to do with the child you both love?

As a family, you and your spouse set up both individual and collective family values. These values were the driving force behind your children’s psychological, spiritual, moral, and emotional development. Even though conflict may have existed in your marriage, you and your spouse acted as a team, which is the exact way your children perceived their pre-divorce family environment. Even if conflict was heightened between you and your spouse during marriage, the family dynamics of two parents being in the home was the only orientation your child had grown within during their formative years. This orientation formed a parental dyad, the two foundation points of a family triangle, with your child forming the third cardinal point, which as a geometric shape, the triangle constitutes the strongest shape known in nature.Your marital co-parenting efforts offered your children a safe environment that cared for and nurtured their growth. However, with the division of the family unit, your child will be forced to adapt within new and unknown family systems, which can lead to both interpersonal and psychological dysregulation to occur.

It is common for children to undergo an adjustment period post divorce. The adjustment to their new family environments can take 6 to 12 months dependent on the amount and the severity of conflict present. While their adjustment can be relatively easy, in some circumstances, if the adjustment difficulties are left unchecked, it can lead to maladaptive psychological and relational behaviors in the future. While the adjustment period is an unfortunate consequence of divorce, and can be wrought with various emotional, psychological, and moral stresses immediately following the separation, it is through these very dynamics that your child will ultimately adjust to and grow within the post-divorce dynamics of their new family structures.

In this article, I explore splitting, triangulation, the good, the bad, and the ugly of post divorce dynamics that you and your children may face in the immediate term following your divorce. By knowing what to expect, you can then plan to make the necessary adjustments to help yourself and your children adapt to and mitigate the damages caused by your separation and the subsequent adjustment period to the new family structure your children will grow within.

What is Splitting?

At face value, the nature of divorce is a split within the family environment and dynamics that children are raised within. As the strength of the family triangle crumbles in the wake of legal battles that ensue after divorce, it is the parties to the action that are left picking up the pieces. While the marriage may have been divided in a relatively calm and unemotional manner, it is ultimately left to the parties to grieve, plan, and move on from the failed relationship. While divorce was a decision based on one or two parties inability to cooperate within the marriage, your child will face a more difficult grieving process, due primarily to the inability they have to choose their relational and legal fate.

While the nature of post-divorce family dynamics presents a physical split in the family triangle, the concept of splitting goes much deeper than the physical split of the marriage between both parents. At the psychological level, the idea of splitting was first explored within psychoanalytic theory as an intrapsychic, unconscious process that “actively separates contradictory feelings, self-representations, or object representations from one another” (Gabbard, 2000). While Sigmund Freud (1927/1961, 1940/1964) alluded to the idea of splitting in his numerous writings, it was Melanie Klein (1946/1975) who developed the idea that this psychological phenomenon stands as a cornerstone for emotional development and physiological survival during the first few months of life. For Klein psychological splitting allowed the infant to separate good and bad feelings, pleasure and events that are not so pleasurable, love and hateful feelings. It is our psyche’s capacity to form opinions about good and bad, love and hate, and other paradoxes ultimately forms the foundation from which conscious thought arises. While complex and multivariate in meaning, as it relates to divorce reaction, the capacity your child has to form those good or bad, loving or hateful opinions associated with your divorce will ultimately create the foundation from which they will re-construct their post-divorce world and adapt within their new family environments.

Before separation, you and your spouse formed the foundation that fostered your children’s development. While it is ultimately you and your spouses choice to engage in contested or collaborative divorce, co-parenting, parallel parenting, or other custody / parenting arrangements, from your child’s perspective, they developed within the safety net offered by their intact family.  In divorce, the parental foundation that promoted their psychological, emotional, spiritual, and moral development was split, which, if left unchecked, can cause psychological distress to occur in accordance with their capacity to learn the new rules, rituals, and expectations within each new family household.

The splitting nature of their family structure is not just an external stressor for the child. It oftentimes affects their psychological wellbeing as well as their capacity to interpersonally relate to and communicate with others. This can and often does include broken patterns of communication with those they love and are most dependent upon. These difficulties may or may not affect you or the members of your immediate family. However, it is imperative that you continue to talk with your children and help them to work through their emotions in the period immediately preceding your separation as you and your spouse will remain the primary teachers of healthy emotional regulation and interpersonal communication skills. By opening the doors to emotional communication, you and your spouse will teach healthy interpersonal communication skills outside of the conflict the pre-divorce dynamics have caused, which in turn will help your child find some sense of equilibrium within their new family structures. By being persistent in learning how to communicate with your children, you will all benefit from forming new family bonds outside of the split family triad. However, this does not negate the effects that family splitting can have on your child’s psychological development, as well as the intrapsychic and interpersonal symptomatic behaviors that can arise if maladaptive forms of emotional regulation and / or poor social communication skills are shown within the context of your divorce and/or child custody conflict.

It is best to attempt and find middle ground between you and your spouse as it relates to the rearing of your children. However, in cases where there is constant conflict, and the split is even more divisive, it is best to keep your children sheltered at all costs from this toxic form of family dynamics. This is because it can cause the split within their psyche to encompass even more divisive psychological symptoms. This occurs primarily because the division of a marriage divides the family triad that fostered your child’s individual development. When the nurturing environment splits, the child is ultimately left to assign the choice of where to place fault, whom to blame, where to assign the roles of love / hate, perpetrator / the victim, who was right and who was wrong within the context of the split family. Their mind is naturally built to do this in order to make sense of the psychological anguish they feel, and it is up to you as parents to help them stabilize within their internal and external environments. To find stable ground, they must work through the conflicting messages they have internally, and not have these added upon from parents wishing to prove “their” point. It is in the best interests of the child to adapt to both family environments as soon as possible so as to avoid further emotional and / or psychological damage, because it is through the child’s capacity to find psychological equilibrium within their new family structures that he or she can begin to mend the intrapsychic split a divorce reaction creates within their psyche, thus allowing them to create new family experiences with each parent individually.

Psychoanalysts have long viewed splitting as a “re-creation of conflicts with one’s parents” (Gabbard, 2000). This is no different from the conflict present in the post-divorce environment. While viewed as a normal psychological defense reaction within the context of psychoanalytic treatment, during a divorce or child custody conflict, it is the child that most oftentimes assumes the unwanted characterics that plagued the marital conflict. When this occurs, a child assumes the status of the “identified patient” within the family triad, and acts as the container for the unwanted, split-off, and unacceptable behaviors one or both parents may have projected within the marital conflict. This is especially true during the initial stages of parental separation, where childhood acting out is a common triangulating pattern used to bring the parents back together. Lets explore the concept of triangulation further.

What is Triangulation?

In psychoanalytic theory, triangulation is seen as a psychological defense that occurs when a person attempts to manipulate their environment as a means to attain a wanted desire or to avoid unwanted and displeasurable feelings or consequences. As a manipulation tactic, triangulation occurs when one party acts as an intermediary of communication between two other parties that may or may not communicate with one another. In day to day family interactions, this form of psychological defense is most notably seen when a child will ask mom for something, be told no, and then go immediately to dad or another caregiver in order to attain that which he or she wants. While infantile in its origin, triangulation is easily employed by children of all ages, especially within the split dynamics present between parents who have or are actively undergoing divorce.

At its foundation, triangulation is important for infant development as it helps them to make the break from the primary caregiver to another person. This assures the child’s capacity to explore their external world unimpeded by a third party.  In its initial form, triangulation helps sever the symbiotic bond between the mother and child, assisting the child to experience the world within their own capacity (Abelin, 1971). However, as it relates to the post-divorce world of the child, the capacity a child has to triangulate and split their post-divorce family environment is dependent on the level, form, and effectiveness of communication present between both parents. Within conflictual custody arrangements, triangulation can become a nightmare, allowing the child to control, manipulate, and set divisional boundaries between parents no child should be left to control. Within positive parenting alternatives, the child is left to try and manipulate the boundaries their parents uphold, presenting a unified theme for parenting that the child will eventually begin to adapt within. Lets explore three competing post-divorce parenting styles.

Co-Parenting

In co-parenting scenarios, both spouses communicate in a manner that fosters the best interest of the child. Even though the marriage may not have worked, the communication between the parental dyad remains strong, which fosters a solid foundation from which the child can and will learn his or her parents values, moral basis, rules, and expectations. While each parent may have their own rule sets, these are reinforced by the other parent, even if not fully agreed upon or implemented in their house, as the parents main focus remains on the larger goal of getting their child to realize the goals they set: Whatever that goal may be. It is imperative to note, that each individual household can have its own independently operating rules, just as long as the main focus is helping the child to adapt to those independent rules from all parties.

Co-parenting negates the capacity a child has to triangulate (eg. play mom from dad, vice-versa, parent from parent) because it forms a solid foundation of parental communication needed to raise a child into adult life. Even though a child will continue to employ splitting tactics as part of their normal psychological development, and may attempt to play one party from the other, because of the effectiveness of communication between the divorced parents, there is a solid foundation to the boundaries the child meets, thus setting expectations from the outset.

While co-parenting is beneficial as it relates to forming a solid foundation by which to engage child-rearing both within and outside of marriage, in many cases, the split dynamics present between two parents that are unable to get along negates the capacity one or both parties may have to engage in co-parenting practices in the time period immediately following the divorce.

In cases where co-parenting is not conducive to the relationship you have with your spouse post separation, such as in circumstances where domestic violence, child abuse by one or both parties are present, or in circumstances where one party is simply putting their immediate needs over that of their children (vindication type scenarios), one of two parenting scenarios are employable. However, both of these parenting methods allow children much easier capacity to triangulate and split between the parents due to the lack of communication present between both parents.

Parallel Parenting

Parallel parenting is a method that allows both parents to engage their children separately and with their own individual sets morals, values, social, educational, and ethical expectations without interfering with the rights the other parent has to do the same. In highly contested situations, where parent’s cannot get along, but have their children’s best interest in mind, and can agree to disagree, this parenting solution offers a second level intervention that allows the child to take part in the good and bad experiences both parents can offer and employ them as a foundation for their developmental journey. While not as stable as a co-parenting scenario, in cases of heated divorce and custody disputes, the child is better off forming independent relationships with both parent’s outside of the splitting present between the two arguing parties so that they may assure healthy ego development in the future.

In its essence, parallel parenting disengages the triangle. It allows a child to form completely individualized and separate relationships with both parents. It’s uniqueness comes in the aspect that a child simply assumes a direct line of communication between him or herself and the mother, him or herself and the father, and does not engage in triangulating or splitting mechanisms shown between one or both parents. While theoretically sound as a post divorce parenting plan, because children will be children, they oftentimes intentionally set up the triangulating pattern as a means to get their immediate needs and / or wishes met. This is oftentimes seen in a child’s willingness to leave one parent to live with another, especially during adolescent development.

As the parents who engage in parallel parenting traditionally do not engage in direct communication with one another due to continued and oftentimes highly charged emotional and / or physical conflicts, this ultimately sets the stage for children to split and triangulate between them. While parallel parenting offers a possible parenting scenario that encourages the child to form healthy bonds with each parent in their home setting, because the split is still present between the parental dyad, the child can easily fill the void through triangulation without constant failsafe’s being put into place to check the efficacy of your parenting plan. While more stable than unilateral parenting, this form of a parenting plan does not offer the same stability as co-parenting, and should only be used with the goal of getting over the heated conflicts that cause the need for parallel parenting in the first place, so that co-parenting tactics can be engaged.

Unilateral Parenting

Unilateral parenting occurs when the contested nature of the custody conflict causes one parent to attempt and fully severe the relationship the child has with the other parent. In custody disputes, this is called alienation, and can have severe legal consequences, including the loss of one’s physical and / or legal custody orders.

While the scope of this article is not to examine the effectiveness of single parents, as this is a phenomenon where one party willingly removes themselves from the life of their child, thus leaving the other parent responsible for the duties both would have assumed within the context of a  traditional family, it is important to note that the dynamics of unilateral parenting serves to alienate a child from the willing love and involvement a second parent can offer their child.

The tradition of dividing the child in legal parameters is not a recent phenomenon. The New American Standard  (1977) edition of the bible reads:

And the king said, “Get me a sword.” So they brought a sword before the king. 25And the king said, “Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.” 26Then the woman whose child was the living one spoke to the king, for she was deeply stirred over her son and said, “Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him.” But the other said, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him!” 27Then the king answered and said, “Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him. She is his mother.” 28When all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had handed down, they feared the king; for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to administer justice. (1Kings 3:24-28)

As you can see, the tradition of justice has long served the legal rights of the adult who must care for their child. While it is our current court system’s obligation to take into account the Best Interests of the Child (FAMILY.CODE SECTION 3040-3048) , oftentimes it is the child that ultimately is sacrificed to his or her parent’s legal rights in cases where parents will willingly engage in behaviors that places their child as a pawn in their continued relational conflict.

The king in this scenario shows wisdom, granting the decision to the woman who nevertheless showed greater empathy for the child at stake. In today’s family law court setting, the judge serves the best interest of the child in custody disputes, deciding the fate of the child. While meritorious in its effort, when a third party is forced to make a decision between two waring parties, it ultimately places the child into the vicarious position of being a pawn to be manipulated between the two combatants. This occurs in part, because adults have protected legal rights that their children do not, as they are legally dependent on their parent’s as caregivers. While the court can make determination about the physical and legal custody of a child, they ultimately cannot control the behaviors of one and/or both parents that would engage in the ultimate act of splitting and / or triangulation. While the alienating parent may delude themselves into thinking they have their children’s best interest in mind, because that parent successfully usurped the relationship the child has with their other parent, the child is now forced into an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with the alienating parent that is engaged the divisive behaviors.

While unilateral parenting is unavoidable in the case of single parent households, it is imperative to understand that when a parent is willing to be involved with his or her child, they are better off having both sets of parental values present in their lives rather than one. The only exception to this case is when one parent is abusive towards the child. A child’s safety must override the abusive parent’s legal rights for access to what is his or her victim. While cases of substantiated child abuse would warrant unilateral parenting, this is not to be used as a ploy to triangulate and alienate the child from one parent, as is the case in many heated and contested custody disputes, where it is common to see unwarranted and downright false allegations of child abuse arise.

If your are currently engaged in a highly conflictual divorce or custody disagreement, for the sake you your children, put their needs above your own, and realize that a set of parents, even if they do not necessarily get along, is much better than a single parent approach. Your child is the product of you and your significant other, and you will be attending your child’s birthdays, weddings, special occasions, funerals, etc. with the other parent throughout the rest of your life. You might as well start off on a good note and try to find some middle ground between the two of you, or face the possibility of much greater emotional and psychological consequences to come.

Signs to Look For

While triangulation and splitting are naturally occurring dynamics during the divorce process, there are signs to look out for as it relates to your child’s post divorce reaction.

Look out for a drop in your child’s grades – A drop in grades is to be expected as a child adapts to their post-divorce environment. They are handling a heavy emotional burden, and may be pre-occupied with unresolved feelings. This is especially true as it relates to the monotony present during the day to day school schedule. Because your child may be pre-occupied with their feelings, focus and concentration naturally decrease, which in turn can cause their grades to drop. You can help ameliorate this by informing your child’s teacher of what is happening, so they can help the child adjust during the time period associated with school. Remember, you don’t have to give them all the information, just enough to keep them appraised of what is happening to your child, so they can help them adapt to and succeed within the school setting.

Preoccupation and Isolation – Be aware of your child’s need for individual space. While isolation is appropriate at times to work on internal problems, continued isolation can lead to self-alienation behaviors and the working through of problems in a manner that is not consistent to overall psychological health. Your child will be pre-occupied with their emotional space, and even though the same may be true of you as you undergo the divorce and custody process, you are the primary role model of, and teacher for emotional identification and regulation skills and it is your responsibility to Inquire, Listen, Observe, Volunteer, Empathize, and Understand (I LOVE U) your child’s emotional response. Remember, they look up to you, and will learn from the way you handle emotional distress.

Acting Out – It is not uncommon for a child that undergoes divorce reaction to begin to act out in ways completely opposite from the values you and your ex-spouse have taught pre-separation. This is a mending defense, meant to heal the split present within the parental dyad. The idea behind it is one of unity. The child’s goal in this defense mechanism is to align you and your spouse against a common threat, your child’s behaviors, in order to bring you back together. While effective in its scope, if you and your spouse are serious about staying separate, you must reassure them of the news they do not want to hear. Over time, this tendency will decrease and equilibrium will establish itself through consistent routine and boundary expectations.

Depression and Anxiety – It is natural for your child to undergo periods of anxiety and depression during the post-divorce process. Their world has been shaken, and their family is now broken. Real fears about what is next will be present, and can only be combated through consistency of routine. Over time, this will affect the ability your child has to handle adjustment fears, and will also assist in helping them to deal with the sadness present about the loss of their family. As it relates to depression, remember, feelings of sadness are normal. They are actually the last part of the grieving process, before acceptance and moving on can occur. If you see significant levels of fear or sadness, seek professional assistance. A psychotherapist can assist you and your children to deal with the stress associated with making sense of unwanted emotions.

Conclusion

  Children need Comfort, both from Mom

& Dad. Show Them You Care with I LOVE U

The divorce and custody process is an emotionally charged series of un-pleasurable events. While you are busy dealing with the loss of your marriage and the division of your marital assets (including that of your children), your children are left in charge to grieve the loss of their family foundation.

In this article, I explored triangulation and splitting from the perspective of being a natural psychological defense and in its more problematic form. While these are common post-divorce reactions to the stresses present from the loss suffered, they are also part of a larger healing process meant to help your child mend the division present in their psyche. While there is no sure path to psychological health post divorce, through learning ways to effectively communicate with one another, as it relates to your child, and employing the techniques of Inquire, Listen, Observe, Volunteer, Empathize, and Understand (I LOVE U), you and your former spouse can at least mitigate the possibility of future damage being done to your child by teaching them effective skills of emotional regulation and interpersonal dynamics. Remember, your children learn how to handle their emotions and relate with others through watching you.

Finally, divorce and child custody cases can be a daunting ordeal. If you find yourself stuck legally, Maples Family Law can help. Also, it is imperative to understand that there is no one simple solution to help your children overcome the effects that divorce and child custody conflict may have caused. If you find yourself engaged in a heated custody dispute, seek psychological help for yourself and children. The Stockton Therapy Network can help you and your children begin the process of adapting to, and healing from your divorce process. By having knowledgeable professionals that care, you can at least begin to mitigate the damages continued conflict can cause your child developmentally at the psychological level, because ultimately, what story do you want your children to tell about their new family and custody arrangement when they get older.

References

Abelin, Ernst (1971), “The role of the father in the separation-individuation process”, in McDevitt, John B.; Settlage, Calvin F., Separation-individuation: essays in honor of Margaret S. Mahler, New York: International Universities Press, pp. 229–252.

Freud, S. (1961). Fetishism. In The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 21). Translated and edited by Strachey J. London. Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1927)

Freud, S. (1964). Splitting of the ego in the process of defense. In The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 23). Translated and edited by Strachey J. London. Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1940)

Gabbard, G.O. (2000). Psychodynamic psychiatry in clinical practice. 3rd ed. American Psychiatric Press. Washington, D.C.

Klein, M. (1975). Notes on some schizoid mechanisms. In Envy and Gratitude and Other Works, 1946-1963. New York. Free Press. (Original work published 1946)

  I LOVE U (Inquire, Listen, Observe, Volunteer, Empathize, and Understand): How to Teach Children to Overcome Family Splitting, Triangulation, Learn, & Employ Emotional Regulation & Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Post Divorce You have made the choice to go through with it. You have sought legal counsel and are now ready to file for divorce.

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Working on Your Relationship – By Yourself

You Can Create a Successful Relationship – Even If You Must Do It Alone Conflicts can be expected to arise in even the strongest of relationships. Two people who attempt to create a relationship always bring their own issues, backgrounds, expectations, personalities, and inner difficulties into the interplay that occurs between them. It is not at all unusual that the two people might find themselves, at times, in a deadlock. They see no way to break the impasse and to recapture the spirit of good will that they once had and would like to have again. Each party’s personal conflicts come into play and stifle the communication, sharing and love that seem necessary for harmonious interaction. Rather than confronting our own part in the problem, we may resort to blaming our partner – “If only she (or he) would change, then we could be happy.” While it is ideal for the two partners to agree mutually that there is a problem that needs to be confronted and to show an equal amount of motivation in solving the problem in relationship therapy, this goal is not always achievable. The reality of the situation is that one of the partners may not be ready to work on the problem – and the reason for this may be perfectly valid. For example, one partner may fear that working on the relationship could bring up other problems. Or one of the partners may feel inadequate in talking about relationship issues and may have fears of being attacked if he or she were to try relationship therapy (although this is, in reality, a highly unlikely event). Or perhaps the partner feels unable to make the changes which have been called for in the past. Commonly, one of the partners just doesn’t see that there is a problem, and therefore fails to see his or her contribution to the difficulties. Whatever the reason, there are times when one partner is simply not ready to work mutually on the relationship. This is a fact which must be accepted. But it does not mean that the relationship is doomed. Rather than condemning our partner for his or her inability to work on the relationship, it is far more productive to show respect for our partner’s view and to take matters for bettering the relationship into our own hands. There is a great deal that one partner, acting alone, can do to create a relationship which is happier and more fulfilling for both parties. Working alone on a relationship problem can mean that we have to take a look at our own issues and our contribution to the difficulties with our partner. While this challenge is not always easy, the pay-off in terms of our own emotional wellness can be enormous, both for our own future personal happiness and for the success of our relationship. Working solo on a relationship may mean coming to terms with the anger we have fostered (perhaps for years), taking responsibility for our own happiness, breaking out of our old ways of seeing the world, changing our expectations about how we should live everyday, and accepting the good in our relationship as being good enough. It may mean letting go of some of our most entrenched behaviors. We may even find that letting go can bring us tremendous rewards that we never expected. Think of a relationship as a system with two parts which strives to achieve balance. It can be compared to a see-saw. When one of the partners makes a shift, the other partner has to make a comparable shift to maintain the balance. This often works negatively. For example, if Chris reminds Michael to take out the trash, Michael, feeling controlled, might back off and stop communicating. In turn, Chris then criticizes Michael even further for breaking off communication – and Michael retreats even further. A balance is achieved in this case with a pattern of blame and withdrawal. How can the balance shift in a more positive direction? Chris might decide to stop reminding Michael to take out the trash. In fact, Chris starts taking out the trash. Michael does not feel controlled in this case and has no need to break off communication. Showing appreciation to Chris for doing this chore, Michael starts taking out the trash. Both parties win in this case, and a positive balance is achieved in the relationship. (Of course, this could backfire on Chris, who may end up taking out the trash all the time. But at least the old pattern is broken, communication now has a chance to succeed, and Chris can assess whether it is more important to maintain the relationship with new ground rules, even though it is flawed and far from ideal, or to continue the old pattern of blame and withdrawal.) Here are some ways that one party, working alone, can improve a relationship: Take Care of Your Own Needs We often look to our partner to provide for our needs, and this can be a big mistake. People, whether they are in a relationship or not, need to function in a whole and complete manner. The best relationships are generally those in which two healthy and fully functioning adults come together and enhance each other with love, support, trust and nurturance. They appreciate the gestures of love that they receive from their partner, but they would be able to live full and complete lives even if they were not in a relationship. We sometimes think that the two people should give equally to the relationship in order to achieve a balance – but it may be more productive to see the balance in a different way. Think instead about achieving a balance within yourself, so that the question becomes one of deciding how much to give to the relationship and how much to give to yourself. There are some things that you may want and which you can provide for yourself. You see these things as non-negotiable. For example, if your partner is always late for social events and you find this unacceptable, try going once alone – and the next time your partner will probably be ready on time. If your partner feels threatened by this, gets angry and starts an argument, try showing some empathy and decisiveness. Don’t participate in the argument. Simply say that you understand your partner’s feelings, but that this is something which is very important to you and you have decided to do it. It does not mean that you are rejecting or abandoning your partner, but it does mean that you are asserting yourself in a healthy way and taking care of your own needs. A simple act of assertiveness can often break a destructive pattern of mutual neediness. Do the Exact Opposite of What You Have Been Doing Each partner in a relationship plays a role. It is important to identify the role that each of you plays and then try to make a change. One way of accomplishing this is to identify your role and then do the exact opposite. This takes courage, because of fear that abandoning our previous role will only make the problem worse. In truth, however, changing this role will compel your partner to make a change as well, a change which may enhance the relationship. For example, Joan complains that Jeff plays golf all the time and doesn’t have time for her. Joan plays the role of the one who nags and Jeff plays the role of the one who rebels by playing golf. If Joan were to change her role from nagging to supporting, Jeff might make a change from rebelling to cooperating. Joan could learn to play golf herself, ask Jeff about his day on the course, and buy him some golf-related gifts. She could also cultivate her own interests. Jeff, in turn, realizing that Joan is now doing the exact opposite of what she had been doing, will no longer feel that he has to rebel against her. Because she shows support for his interests, he will then reciprocate by showing more concern for her needs. People respond much more readily to support than to criticism. The old destructive pattern has now been broken and each partner is now free both to pursue their own needs and to give to the other. Relax Your Definitions of the Power Struggle When we are involved in a relationship conflict we often resort to all-or-nothing thinking, and it is difficult to think outside of this box – “I am right and my partner is wrong.” The more you insist on your point of view, the more your partner defends his or her position. The two opposing ways of thinking become entrenched. It is helpful to defuse the situation by trying to develop empathy for your partner’s point of view and by relaxing the sense of urgency you have about your own views. The following thoughts can help to increase the flexibility of your thinking: “My partner is just being herself. She means no harm. She’s trying to do her best. I need to appreciate her just the way she is. I need to stop trying to change her or to convince her that I am right.” When you try to get your partner to see things the way you do, you are actually searching for love and closeness. You want complete support, a partner who can affirm your way of thinking. Understand, though, that this is exactly what your partner is searching for too. Try to empathize with your partner’s view, and this can open the door to the closeness you want. You may feel an urgency or anxiety about asserting your own view. You don’t have to abandon your views, but you can work on the anxiety you feel about affirming your views. It helps to take a live-and-let-live approach to your struggle. Relax – and trust that things will work out well. And they often do. Ask Your Partner to Help You Solve Your Problem Rather than blaming your partner and creating an air of defensiveness, try reframing the problem. Make it clear that you are the one having the difficulty, and ask for your partner’s help in solving your problem. For example, instead of blaming your partner for spending too much money, it might be more helpful to find a good time to have a talk about how you feel very vulnerable financially – and then enlist your partner’s support in finding ways for you to feel more financially secure. You will find that taking ownership of the problem yourself can bring you much more support and closeness within the relationship. You can help create the conditions where your partner has an opportunity to rise to the occasion rather than feel blamed because your needs are not being met. “Search thy own heart – what paineth thee in others in thyself may be.” – John Greenleaf Whittier Working alone on your relationship means working on yourself. By making a shift in how you define your own sense of self, thoughts and feelings, you can help create the conditions which bring your relationship into a state of mutual harmony, support and love. A trained professional therapist can help you identify and modify patterns in the way you approach your relationship. The rewards can be immeasurable – for both you and your partner. Is It Fair That I Have To Do All The Work On The Relationship? No, it is not fair – but that’s all right. Consider the alternatives. You can stay in a deadlocked relationship if you choose, but then each partner loses the potential benefits that can come from a healthier and more supportive commitment. Or you can let the relationship dissolve completely. This may be a viable option if the situation is intolerable, abusive, or completely mismatched. However, if there is a chance that the relationship can work, it is worth trying different approaches which have not been considered in the past. After all, ending a relationship before considering alternatives may represent an absence of fairness and a potential source fvinstitute.com/article/working-relationship of regret in the future. When considering the idea of fairness, remember that many things in life are not fair. Illness, financial setbacks, and grievous losses come to the best of people. Even if there were complete equality between you and your partner, there is no assurance that the problems in your relationship would be solved. Part of the human condition is to persist even when circumstances are not ideal. Your partner may lack the ability to provide equal input into solving the problems of your relationship. This is something worthy of acceptance. It is not ideal, but it is reality. Sometimes the strength and courage of one person is needed to compensate for the shortcomings of another. The real test of fairness is to question whether you are creating the best life you can. In any relationship, we need to provide a balance, not necessarily between the two partners, but on the dimension of balancing your own needs against the needs of the relationship. The source of your happiness lies within and is derived from your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual strengths. Working on these factors within yourself puts you into a firm position to attend to the demands of your relationship. A relationship requires flexibility, effective communication, some hard work, and a lot of good will. When we feel complete within, we are in a strong position to create the conditions which can lead to a healthy and thriving relationship. Perhaps there is some truth in the old saying that it is only when we love ourselves that we can truly love another. Follow and click the link to read more about this article and see many more leading articles on marriage, couples, and family: http://fvinstitute.com/article/working-relationship/

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What Is Anxiety Attack & Can It Lead To Binge Eating?

Binge Eating

Anxiety is a very common feeling which we experience from time to time. This feeling can be worry, fear, nervousness or uneasiness about something which we are not certain or sure of the consequences.

Table of Contents

What is Binge Eating Disorder?

Causes of Binge Eating Disorder

Treatment for Binge Eating Disorder

Eating disorders in Men

Anorexia and Bulimia

Signs of Anorexia

Signs of Bulimia Nervosa 

It goes off after the event. Anxiety disorder is a mental health disorder in which such feelings are so strong that they interfere with our daily activities.

The common symptoms of anxiety disorders are stress that is more than normal, inability to stop worrying about something and restlessness. They cause panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

All the disorders can be treated with counselling and medication. Antidepressant medicines also help in overcoming them. One of the obsessive-compulsive disorders is binge eating disorder.

What is Binge Eating Disorder?

Binge eating disorder is a severe, life-threatening but treatable eating disorder characterized by compulsive overeating or eating abnormal amounts of food, quickly and to the point of feeling uneasy.

People lose control over themselves while bingeing so they experience guilt, shame or distress afterwards.

It is the most common eating disorders in the USA though it is catching up in India and in other countries as well. It can occur in men and women of normal weight.

When binge eating goes unchecked it results in weight gain and obesity. Obesity leads to depression which in turn leads to binge eating. People suffering from it struggle with emotions of guilt and shame leading to anxiety.

To cope with anxiety people eat more and more thus creating a vicious cycle.

Causes of Binge Eating Disorder  

Though the exact causes are not known there seems to be a variety of factors that influence binge eating disorder. They are:-

1.Psychological factors 

A strong connection is seen between binge eating and depression.

Low self-esteem, not happy with one’s looks and body, not doing well academically, being bullied in school or college and having difficulty coping with certain feelings lead to binge eating.

2. Biological factors 

Genetic changes or hormonal irregularities cause binge eating.

3. Cultural and social 

Traumatic situations in their life, social pressures to look thin and adverse comments about their body shape or weight can cause binge eating.

People with binge eating disorder are often ashamed of their eating habits hence they do not let others know about them.

Here are some signs and symptoms to identify them.

Such people eat normally in the presence of others but gorge when they are alone.

Continue to eat even when they know that their stomach is full.

They have no control over food and so they cannot stop eating.

Load their plate with large quantities of food when others are not watching them and consume them secretly.

Experience feelings of stress and anxiety which can be relieved only by eating.

Lack of sensation and feel numb while they binge on food.

No idea of satiation and they are never satisfied with either the quality or the quantity of food that they consume.

The consequences of binge eating disorder cause many complications. People experience psychological, physical and social difficulties.

Depression, anxiety, insomnia, bipolar disorder, sleep apnea and hypertension are major ones.

Health problems like muscle and joint pains, Type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, gastrointestinal problems and gallbladder disease arise owing to binge eating.

Treatment for Binge Eating Disorder

Psychiatrists, Nutritionists and Therapists can treat a binge eating disorder.

A Psychiatrist first observes and then treats by understanding the underlying issues associated with eating disorders such as what triggers binge eating, how to cope with it and how to deal with stress, anxiety and depression.

The Therapists use certain therapies to treat binge eating disorders. They are:-

a) Cognitive behavioral therapy 

It aims at helping people understand their thoughts and feelings that influence their behaviors.

b) Interpersonal psychotherapy 

It focuses on improving the person’s relationship with his family and friends and the way they see themselves.

c) Dialectical behavior therapy 

It focuses on teaching individuals, skills to cope with stress and monitor their emotions.

Group therapy sessions

Group therapy sessions and support groups also help people to recover from binge eating disorder. People who have been in this situation before and recovered from it completely will have a better knowledge and understanding of this problem. 

They can help others struggling with this disorder by sharing their experiences of how they dealt with it and overcame it. The results can be very positive and encouraging.

Eating disorders in Men

It is a general opinion that eating disorders occur only in women but surprisingly even men suffer from it. They exhibit similar behaviour as women such as binge eating, purging, laxative abuse and fasting for weight loss.

Since they are less likely to seek treatment, their number goes un-noticed due to a misconception that only women have eating disorders. Studies suggest that mortality rate is higher for males than for females with eating disorders.

So early treatment is essential. The treatment is the same as it for women. Men and boys with anorexia have a high risk of osteopenia and osteoporosis because they usually have low levels of testosterone and Vitamin D. Testosterone supplements should be prescribed.

 Anorexia and Bulimia

We should have normal eating habits to stay healthy. Some people resort to eating too much or too little and use harmful ways to get rid of calories thus damaging their health.

These are called eating disorders. People with eating disorders always worry about their weight and their appearance and how to avoid taking in the calories and how to get rid of them.

The two common eating disorders are Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa the symptoms of which are often mixed up. People may move from anorexia to bulimia and vice versa.

It is seen that girls and women suffer from anorexia and bulimia more than boys and men. Boys and men may develop this disorder owing to over-exercising.

Signs of Anorexia

Worry a lot about your weight and want to lose it in spite of having the right weight for your age and height.

Cannot stop thinking about food as you are always hungry.

Start counting calories and eat as less as you can and then use slimming pills or over-exercise to burn off the calories.

Smoke more and chew gum to keep your weight down.

Avoid eating at lunchtime and avoid attending social gatherings and fall sick if you eat in excess.

Drink lots of water before checking your weight and wear loose clothing to cover your body shape and appearance and lie about your weight.

Menstrual periods become irregular or stop in girls and women.

Develop rigid and obsessive habits like working all the time.

Anorexia starts in the teenage years but people of any age can have it.

Signs of Bulimia Nervosa

You worry more and more about your weight.

Binge eat.

Make yourself vomit forcefully and use laxatives or other methods to get rid of the calories.

Feel tired and guilty.

Have irregular menstrual periods.

Weight stays constant despite your efforts to diet and to bring it down.

Bulimia Nervosa also starts in the teenage years and people can remain unwell for many years if they do not seek help.

More women than men suffer from it. Frequent binge eating and purging damages the body severely and causes the stomach to rupture. Purging may result in heart failure due to a vital loss of minerals.

People who struggle with binge eating disorders get attracted to certain foods that trigger binge eating. They lose control over themselves when they see foods rich in carbohydrates and fats. They also get excited seeing their favourite food.

Over Eating

Their brain releases a hormone called serotonin on spotting them. Serotonin gives them a feeling of excitement and joy. Hence people find it so difficult to come out of the disorder as they get attracted towards such foods for sheer joy and happiness and to escape from unhappy situations and stress.

Eating for comfort or for emotional reasons is not necessarily a bad thing but when food becomes the only source of comfort to deal with stress or with emotional insecurities, then it is asking for trouble. Using food to overcome emotional challenges in life can quickly turn into a binge order-disorder.

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have indulged in binge eating with friends and family during holidays or in school and college life for sheer fun. It was adventurous too, to steal a snack and eat in the middle of the night.

We should ensure that such fun does not develop into a habit and cause a disorder. Night eating is another type of disorder when an individual wakes up in the night and cannot sleep without eating even though he or she is not hungry.

Who frequently eat in hotels and restaurants have to struggle a lot to control binge eating. With the choice and the quantity of food available there, it makes them very difficult to keep away from them.

Let not binge eating become a disorder. If you can identify it, seek help as soon as you can to lead a good and healthy life.

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