#“No Romeo and Juliet is *already* Romeo and Juliet for weird people!” Yes but I mean someone who is weird in a different way

[inkshine]

The Hazards of Love is Romeo and Juliet for weird people

[respectthepetty]

seems like non has to have survived somehow because why are they seeing the masked figure with a crutch? and why did the masked figure grope tee? keng seems legit dead and sold for organs so who else could it be if not non?

Anon, I've stated this multiple times before but telenovelas and Romeo & Juliet have taught me it ain't over until it's over. I have thought that Tan was going to fake his death with the inhaler, and knowing he has been experimenting with drugs made me more excited for the possibility. But now, I'm staring at a dead body that I don't want to believe is dead, and Shakespeare's Juliet, Pit Babe's Charlie, and Sammon's Tan and Bun are looking me right in the face saying "the best way to get someone out is by killing them!"

DO YOU SEE THE VISION?!

Yes, the guys are hallucinating. Yes, the smoke is causing it. But why do they keep seeing crutches?! That's odd!

Phi and Jin heard a car starting when they were at the temple, yet everyone was accounted for, so SOMEONE ELSE IS OUT THERE!

We still have that missing second driver who knows his way around the woods at night and who got held up by the tree in the way but was that a lie?!

The axe just conveniently laying in the temple is strange.

The trees being cut up differently when Jin and Phi were roaming around the woods is weird.

Phi assumed Tan did several of these things, but we know Tan couldn't have done everything Phi accused him of.

And why would we see Perth take this call?

Nothing in this show has been unimportant. Everything we have seen has a reason, so to waste precious time on Perth telling Tee he was leaving after taking this call has to mean something, right? Was it just to show us how much Perth cares about his off-time, so when he stays an extra hour for Tee, it's meaningful?

NO!

The uncle died under mysterious circumstances, and even though I don't need to know how, it's still important that the death wasn't natural.

Because the plot is plotting and someone else is out there killing these people!

And I want it to be Non!

I know believing Non is still alive is a stretch, but even if it isn't Non, someone else is out there, and we've already met all the players, so it's someone we know. There are only so many players left on the board, so who is that hidden character?

Keng is dead. Amen.

As much as I totally and completely ship Fluke x Tan (shut up! leave me alone! it makes sense in my head), I know the doctor isn't helping the biochemist with this.

So if Non really is dead, that leaves White or Perth, and neither one of them would need crutches, and White seems to be having his own little crisis in the finale. The only person who would need crutches is the person who was already limping!

NON IS ALIVE!

He was limping from exhaustion and getting beat for over two weeks, so it would only take a little belladonna in his system for him to die or at least appear to die.

I've always believed there were two killers since the first episode, and I thought they were Tan and Phi, but Phi has ethics or whatever bullshit high horse he is on, yet that doesn't change my mind - There are two killers!

So, once again, Non is either alive or Tan is really the A+ student he has proven to be and got another partner.

LET'S GO, FINALE!

[valentoru]

|| Limitless ||

[CHAPTER 7]

SYNOPSIS: Gojo Satoru, a big time artist, who’s known for leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake wherever he goes. And you, the lead guitarist of an upcoming band, who’s absolutely certain that no one will ever love you. Through an accident in which you happened to kiss Gojo in a frantic state, you both decide, via convenience alone—and zero regard for both of your managers—to pull a fake dating stunt what could go wrong? Any press is good press…right?

PREVIOUS : MASTERLIST : NEXT

“Pass the salt.”

You would have but Megumi looked like he was already salty enough. So you leaned your hip against the counter and folded your arm across your chest. “Megumi.”

“And the pepper.”

“Megumi.”

“And the oil.”

“Megumi…”

“Sunflower. Not that grape-seed crap.”

“Listen. It’s not what you think—”

“Fine. I’ll get it myself.”

To be fair, Megumi had every right to be mad. And you did feel for him. Megumi was a year younger than you, yet he had been pursuing this dream for longer than you had. His family were never “musically talented” per se but they were musical, and so were their children. Only Megumi was the one to go on and do something bigger than just singing or preforming for his family. Did Megumi want to be in for a musical career? Probably no. Did he want to be a lawyer like his father, and like his parents had wanted and pressured from him? Also no.

Not to say that Megumi was unhappy. His plan was to get a nice cushy life which he was achieving essentially spot on, which his parents would not be able to object to. In the mean time, all he really wanted was to have a normal life and spend it with his friends which is exactly what he was doing. He did things that were unimaginable to most of the friend group, like, cooking real food! Going on hikes! Meditating! Sitting down and reading!

Which is why when Satoru simply walked past him after telling him his cords sounded weird and that he should work on it harder since he “probably wasn’t”, it made him a very very miserable few months. In retrospect, that might had been when Megumi started wishing a plague on Gojo’s house (he had been reading Romeo and Juliet at the time).

“Megumi, can we please talk about this?”

“We’re talking.”

“No, you are cooking and I am just standing here, trying to get you to acknowledge that you are mad because Satoru—”

He turned away from his casserole, wagging his finger in your direction. “Do not say it.”

“Don’t say what?”

“You know what.”

“Satoru go—?”

“Do not say his name.”

You threw your hands up. “This is crazy. It’s fake, Megumi.”

He went back to chopping the asparagus. “Pass the salt.”

“Are you even listening? It’s not real.”

“And the pepper, and the—”

“The relationship, it’s fake. We’re not really dating. We’re pretending so people will think that we’re dating.”

Megumis’s hands stopped mid-chop. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Is it a…friends-with-benefits arrangement? Because—”

“No. It’s the opposite. There are no benefits. Zero benefits. Zero sex. Zero friends, too.”

He he stared at you, narrow-eyed. “To be clear, oral and butt stuff totally counts as sex—”

“Megumi.”

He took a step closer, grabbing a dishrag to wipe his hands, flailing his nostrils. “I’m scared to ask.”

“I know it sounds ridiculous. He’s helping me out by pretending we’re together because I lied to Maki, and I need her to feel okay about dating Yuta. It’s all fake. Satoru and I have talked exactly” —you decided on the spot to omit any information pertinent to The Night—“three times, I know nothing about him. Except that he’s willing to help me handle this situation, and I jumped at the chance.”

Megumi was making that face, the one he saved for people who wore sandles with socks. He could be a little scary, you had to admit.

“This is…wow.” There was a vein pulsating on his forehead. “N/N, this is a whole new level of stupid”

“Maybe.” Yes. Yes it was. “But it is what it is. You have to support me in my idiocy because you are my roommate and one of my best friends.”

“Isn’t Gojo your best friend now?”

“Come on, Megumi. He’s a dick. But he’s actually been pretty nice to me, and—”

“I’m not even—” he grimaced. “I’m not going to address this.”

You sighed. “Okay. Don’t address this. You don’t have to. But can you just not hate me? Please? I know he’s been a nightmare to like the whole world, you included. But he’s helping me out. You, Toge and Maki are the only ones I care about knowing the truth. But I can’t tell Toge since he’ll tell Maki and Maki can’t know—”

“—for obvious reasons.”

“—for obvious reasons,” you finished at the same time and smiled. He just shook his head disapprovingly, but his expression had softened.

“N/N you’re amazing. And kind, way too kind. You should find someone better to date than Gojo. Someone to date for real.”

“Yeah right.” You rolled your eye’s. “Because it went so well with Yuta. Who, by the way, I only agreed to date following your advice! ‘Give the boy a chance,’ you said. ‘What could go wrong?’ You said.”

Megumi glared, and you laughed.

“Listen, I’m clearly bad at real dating. Maybe fake dating will be different. Maybe I’ve found my niche.”

He sighed. “Does it have to be Gojo? There are better famous singers that you can date.”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. Miwa Ksaumi?”

“Isn’t she married?”

“Oh. Yeah. What about Yuji? Not a singer and he’s in our bad, I know but definitely someone who’s single.”

You burst into laughter. “I could never fake-date Yuji, not with how assiduously you’ve been thirsting after him for the past five years.”

“I has, hasn’t I? Well did I ever tell you I caught him seriously looking at me in the cafe last week? I’m pretty sure he winked at me multiple times from the behind the counter. Now some say he just has a twitch, but—”

“‘Me. I said that he has a twitch. And you tell me about Yuji every other day.”

“Right.” He sighed. “You know, N/N, I just want to be happy with Yuji. And I would have fake-dated you myself in a heartbeat to save you from goddamned Gojo. I would have held hands with you, and given you my jacket when you were cold, and very publicly gifted you chocolates and roses and teddy bears on Valentine’s Day.”

How refreshing, to talk to someone who’d watched a rom-com. Or ten. “I know. But also you but you bring home a different “girl”—and by girl I mean book—every week since you practically swore to celibacy unless it’s with Yuji, and you love it. And I know you love it. And I don’t want to cramp your style.”

“Fair.” Megumi looked pleased—whether at the fact that he really did read quite a few books in an alarmingly short amount of time or at your thorough understanding of his dating habits, you weren’t sure.

“Can you please not hate me, then?”

He tossed the kitchen cloth onto the counter and stepped closer. “N/N. I could never hate you. You’ll always be my bubbala.” He pulled you into his chest, hugging you tight. At the beginning, when you’d just met, you had been constantly disoriented by how physical he was, probably because it had been a while since you’d experienced such physical contact. And because he just didn’t seem like the type of guy. Now, Megumi’s hugs were your happy place.

You lean your head on his shoulder and smiled into the Cotten of his T-shirt. “Thanks

Megumi held you tighter.

“Also I promise if I ever bring Satoru home, I’ll put a sock on my door—Ouch!”

“You evil creature.”

“I was kidding! Wait, don’t leave, I have something important to tell you.”

He paused by the door, scowling. “I’ve reached my maximum daily intake of Gojo-related conversation. Anything further will be lethal, so—”

“Suguru Geto, the one funding that giant Cancer Awareness event got back to me! It’s not decided yet, but he might be interested in having the band perform!”

“Oh my God.” Megumi walked back to you, delighted. “N/N, this is amazing! I thought we had no chance, honestly.”

“Well no, me either, but I guess we were wrong! It would be—”

“Fantastic. It would really be fantastic. N/N I’m so excited, and proud of you for following your gut.” Megumi took your hands in his, his face-splitting grin slow and gentled. “And your mom would be so excited, too.”

You looked away, blinking rapidly. You didn’t want to cry, not tonight. “Nothing is set in stone, I’ll have to persuade him. It will invoked quite a bit of him reviewing the band and our music, and pitching us to him. Which you know is not my forte. It might still not work—”

“It will work out.”

Right. Yes. You needed to be optimistic. You nodded, attempting a smile.

“But even if it didn’t…she would still be proud.”

You nodded again. When a single tear managed to slide down your cheek, you decided to let it be.

Forty-five minutes later, you and Megumi sat on your minuscule couch, arms pressed together, watching RuPaul’s Drag Race while you ate a very undersalted veggie casserole

TAGLIST(28/50): @bbmsxlene @lunavelha @satoryaa @tranzumaki @k-kkiana @luvkvni @lysaray @kalulakunundrum @arysbruv @r4veeen @stillnotherapy @catobsessedlady @colortheoryrocks @minzxec @dazqa @packsvlog @luvvmae @simplysm1le @mintfyi @fushism @angstmuncher @fackeraccount @astro-stars @lavender-hvze @miizuzu @rayrayline @kanaojacksonofc @letsmyy

AN:

YEAHHHHHHGH🔥🔥🔥🔥

© valentoru all rights reserved- do not publish my work on other platforms, plagiarise or translate.

[esotl]

Performance - Epilogue 2 (Part 25 - End)

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Characters: Wataru, Hokuto, Tomoya, Makoto, Nazuna

Translation Directory

Performing something I wrote myself is embarrassing, it feels like the ultimate one-man show.

Location: Cafe

Nazuna: But over the next few performances, they'll slowly get happier, right?

Makoto: Yeah, though I was surprised when I heard about the setting. The story this time, "Romeo and Juliet/Reversi", is a loop, isn't it? It's like a video game♪

Wataru: That's right. In ten days, over all ten performances... Every day, every time, the story of "Romeo and Juliet" repeats.

However. Only the members of the Chorus, who can pass through the door to the past, retain their memories, and change their actions little by little based on their assessment of last time.

In order to not repeat the tragedy that occurred the first time, in today's performance...

They interfere in the story in various ways, putting in a lot of effort to give "Romeo and Juliet" a happy ending.

Hokuto: Right. For example, this time Juliet was recklessly aggressive due to a careless blunder from Tenma-kun's Chorus role.

Knowing about their tragic fate, she hides her love for Romeo to avoid it.

However, that ends up leading to a more depressing development.

So after this, Tenma-kun will try watching his words more.

The cause of his blunder is that he tried some alcohol at the ball, and was out of it after waking from a deep sleep.

But in the next one, he doesn't touch the food and drinks served at the ball.

As a result, Juliet falls in love at first sight with Romeo as usual, and doesn't hide it.

But because Romeo is a woman in this work, there's an uproar about how "the Capulet family's daughter has awakened to homosexuality~" and such.

That's how the story can change depending on the Chorus role's actions.

Makoto: The basis of loops is that the events change depending on the player's actions and choices... It feels like it'd be even more interesting to watch all ten shows♪

Nazuna: But on the flip side, won't there be very few people who come every single day to watch ALL ten shows?

Won't they feel lost if they haven't seen the previous stories?

Wataru: Of course, I considered that. In every show, no matter which you watch, there's a sizable story for the day.

As supplementary material, the contents of all the shows up until then are summarised in a pamphlet, which will be handed out for free.

Makoto: You can also download the data~ that part is my handiwork.

Looks like it's already trending online, that there's a theatre troupe doing something weird.

Wataru: We're not a theatre troupe, though. We've yet to cut ourselves off from the category of amateur performances.

But in this era, nobody will look at you if you do things the normal way, so...

I tried adding things to make it distinct, though only God knows if it will turn out good or bad.

Tomoya: Uu. It's awful how all ten shows have subtle differences. Even though the Chorus role already has a lot of lines as is...

I've also got to act out each of the changes on top of that.

Wataru: Fufufu. You have to gain experience first, practice makes perfect.

By the way. "Romeo and Juliet/Reversi" was written by several different authors, each with their own versions of "Romeo and Juliet".

It's an anthology of short stories.

A representative author then rearranged and assembled them all into one large plot.

And a former member of the Drama Club then remade it into a script to perform on stage.

Hokuto: So that's what was resting in the Drama Club's bookshelf... I didn't know there was an original work, did you get approval from the copyright holders?

Wataru: Yes, there's no oversights there. It's the work of an active writer, currently working as a lecturer in the acting department...

I asked that person to deal with things relating to the rights.

They took great care of me when I was a first year... When I told them I would be performing this work, they were delighted.

Incidentally. It's said that if you're going to be an actor, you must first understand a scriptwriter's feelings...

Actually, in addition to the short stories compiled in the anthology, there are also stories by former members of the Drama Club in the script.

Or rather, the genres present in the anthology were all over the place, and mostly made up of outlandish stories that were difficult to adapt into a script.

That's why, to fill in the gaps, the members wrote their own works.

Until recently it was a regular event for the club, and I counted about a hundred different kinds of scripts on the bookshelves.

Fufufu. In truth, I have... also written one. Coincidentally, it's ended up being used in this performance.

Performing something I wrote myself is embarrassing, it feels like the ultimate one-man show.

It's rather vain~ if possible, I want to dance in other people's stories... in other people's dreams.

Tomoya: Eh, what day is yours for? I didn't know about this~? They're all serious stories, so I really can't imagine you wrote any of them?

Hokuto: ...It's probably the tenth one, the final one, right?

Wataru: Amazing! That's correct! How did you know, Hokuto-kun?

Hokuto: Hmph. Don't be stupid. It's only natural that I'd know.

Romeo and Juliet seemed happiest in the final performance. Because it isn't a tragedy, right, President?

Those lovers, Romeo and Juliet, are surely in their own heaven... Even now, they're cuddling up and laughing together happily.

And they're saying to you, "thank you for understanding us"...

"We're happy that you don't ridicule our affection, our love, that you don't say you feel sorry for us."

That's what I think, President. If my thoughts are correct... then it's just as you say. It isn't a tragedy.

[Epilogue 1 • Directory]

[makerkenzie]

So I read your posts about the Martells and how their plans to team up with the targs are.....faulty to say the least lol and I completely agree. Your posts hit on a lot of the same issues I have had with the Martells and GRRM's handling of this plot point. We are told that the Martells in general are haughty and slow to forgive. We are introduced to Oberyn, he loved Elia more than anything, and like any overprotective brother didn't believe any of her suitors was good enough for his sister. Yet, GRRM does not allow Oberyn, and then later, Doran, to make any comments about Rhaegar's treatment of Elia. Yes, Tywin gave the order and Loch and Clegane executed those orders, but none of that would have happened had it not been for Rhaegar setting the ball in motion. This makes absolutely NO sense and gives the fandom cover to say garbage like, 'well, even the Martells don't blame Rhaegar so Rhaegar was a good guy...' Oberyn? The same man who didn't think anyone was good enough for his sister wouldn't have been enraged at her husband seemingly leaving her for another woman after she just almost died giving him a son? Seriously???

This is just....very bad writing and dropping the ball on Martin's end. On top of that, he has the Martells betroth Arianne to Viserys. Why the FUCK would any family do that after seeing how one targ man already treated their beloved sister in a previous marriage match???? It's baffling.....absolutely insane. But I can't bring myself to blame the Martells, because this is yet another area of illogical carelessness by GRRM when it comes to his handling of Rhaegar and Elia.

Parts of this fandom refuse to acknowledge that Rhaegar is significantly at fault for the rebellion and what happened to Elia and his children and it borders on gaslighting imo. The amount of times I've seen people say 'well, Rhaegar didn't start the way, it was Brandon making a mess in KL and then it was Aerys' fault for demanding Robert and Ned's heads.' Okay......but literally none of that would have occurred had Rhaegar and Lyanna not ran away. Had they not done what they did, Brandon would have had no reason to got to KL to confront the prince.

Anyway, a lot of this hits on GRRM's, imo shockingly tone deaf, handling of Rhaegar, Elia, and Lyanna. I have no doubt that back in 1996 he envisioned R and L to be some Romeo and Juliet love story with two sympathetic people that meant well, but ran into a string of bad luck 'love is the death of duty' etc. etc. Except, it's easy to romanticize Romeo and Juliet who were two capricious teens in the blush of first love. Importantly, neither of them had a spouse and two young children they abandoned to go screw their lovers in said spouse's homeland. And then had their spouse and children brutally murdered as a result of the war they started 'for loveeee' lmao. The fandom harps on the age gap between R and L and honestly that doesn't even scratch the surface as to top five worst things about this relationship. I'm not even bother getting into L's hilariously hypocritical views on fidelity and having bastards lmao. I think GRRM inadvertently had the inciting relationship of his series be, not only predatory because of the age gap, but be based on the degradation and humiliation of an innocent wife and mother, and just....like......didn't realize it??? lmao. It's very weird, very very weird. I mean, on the other hand, I do think he....kinda...gets it because if he wanted a uncomplicated romance he simply would not have had Rhaegar be married with two kids.

All that being said, I think Martin is committed to making R a tragic hero and this a tragic love story, that he refuses to allow the people who should realistically hate Rhaegar and the targs the most, the Martells, excoriate him in the text. I had a conversation with another ASOIAF fan about this and she said that one of the good things the show did was allow Oberyn to call out Rhaegar for abandoning his sister, which he doesn't do in the text. I think there's a lot of cognitive dissonance with GRRM not realizing just how bad Rhaegar, and Lyanna imo, come across to readers in the text and, tinfoil time, I think not having to explain this relationship to readers is one of the many reasons he won't finish the series. I think he now realizes just how bad it is and how much 'fixing' of that ship he's going to have to do for both of them not to be absolutely hated by the fandom.

Obviously Martin is keeping very mum on the rebellion because he doesn't want to reveal too much and obfuscates a lot so we really don't have a lot of concrete opinions on Rhaegar from non-targ sycophants.....which is good writing technique.....usually.....but when you're taking 30 plus years to finish a series and are going on year 13 of having the fandom wait on the book that should in theory answer a lot of these questions....it's not great lol.

I don't see a question here, but I'm not above poking the viper's nest when I'm bored, so: okay, I'll bite!

If GRRM is trying to write Rhaegar as a tragic hero and R/L as some epically tragic love story, then, yes, he's doing a piss-poor job of it.

I don't think that's what he's doing.

I think he's intentionally writing a deeply frustrating story around the Martells. Whatever his initial idea of the Targs was in 1996...the story he's writing now is that dragons plant no trees.

He doesn't let the Martells acknowledge the Targs' mistreatment of their family because this is not a story in which they'll be vindicated or victorious. This is a story in which they are screwing themselves over. Which isn't exactly fun to read, but the pieces add up that way. The Targs are not the heroes the Martells need for their fairytale, any more than the Lannisters are the villains they need for that tale.

Especially Rhaegar. Seven Hells, are people actually saying "clearly Rhaegar was a good guy because the Martells don't blame him"? That is really...special. Nah, the Martells' refusal to hold the Targs, and especially Rhaegar, responsible for the injury done to their family is not an argument in favor of the Targs. It's 60% or more of the way the Martells are driving themselves off a cliff.

I don't have any firm opinions on why GRRM is taking so long to finish the Winds of Waiting. It's likely the result of many contributing factors, as the series involves many, many moving parts. But I doubt very much that he intends to write the Targs as the good guys Dany seems to think they are. They're a mix of hero and villain, like many other players in the game. Meanwhile the Martells' investment in the dragon is doubly tragic because where the Targs are actually heroic, they still don't reciprocate the Martells' loyalty. They hardly even see it.

[archivxx]

✯[0.06-extra]✯

Main story.| Previous || Next

Note: Kyle will be mad at me for dating Clyde, and I can’t do anything about it. It is an inevitable fact.

“Pass the salt.”

You would have but Kyle looked like he was already salty enough. So you leaned your hip against the counter and folded your arm across your chest. “Kyle.”

“And the pepper.”

“Kyle.”

“And the oil.”

“Kyle…”

“Sunflower. Not that grape-seed crap.”

“Listen. It’s not what you think—”

“Fine. I’ll get it myself.”

To be fair, Kyle had every right to be mad. And you did feel for him. Kyle was a year older than you, he had been pursuing this dream for longer than you had. He family were never “musically talented” per se but they were musical, and so were their children. Only Kyle was the one to go on and do something bigger than just singing or preforming for his family. Did Kyle want to be in for a musical career? Probably no. Did he want to be a lawyer like his father, and like his parents had wanted and pressured from him? Also no.

Not to say that Kyle was unhappy. His plan was to get a nice cushy life which he was achieving essentially spot on, which his parents would not be able to object to. In the mean time, all he really wanted was to have a normal life and spend it with his friends which is exactly what he was doing. He did things that were unimaginable to most of the friend group, like, cooking real food! Going on hikes! Meditating! Sitting down and reading!

Which is why when Cylde simply walked past him after telling him his cords sounded weird and that he should work on it, it made him a very very miserable few months. In retrospect, that might had been when Kyle started wishing a plague on Donovan’s house (he had been reading Romeo and Juliet at the time).

“Kyle, can we please talk about this?”

“We’re talking.”

“No, you are cooking and I am just standing here, trying to get you to acknowledge that you are mad because Clyde—”

He turned away from his casserole, wagging his finger in your direction. “Do not say it.”

“Don’t say what?”

“You know what.”

“Clyde Don—?”

“Do not say his name.”

You threw your hands up. “This is crazy. It’s fake, Kyle.”

He went back to chopping the asparagus. “Pass the salt.”

“Are you even listening? It’s not real.”

“And the pepper, and the—”

“The relationship, it’s fake. We’re not really dating. We’re pretending so people will think that we’re dating.”

Kyle’s hands stopped mid-chop. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Is it a…friends-with-benefits arrangement? Because—”

“No. It’s the opposite. There are no benefits. Zero benefits. Zero sex. Zero friends, too.”

He he stared at you, narrow-eyed. “To be clear, oral and butt stuff totally counts as sex—”

“Kyle.”

He took a step closer, grabbing a dishrag to wipe his hands, flailing his nostrils. “I’m scared to ask.”

“I know it sounds ridiculous. He’s helping me out by pretending we’re together because I lied to Nichole, and I need her to feel okay about dating Tolkien. It’s all fake. Clyde and I have talked exactly” —you decided on the spot to omit any information pertinent to The Night—“three times, I know nothing about him. Except that he’s willing to help me handle this situation, and I jumped at the chance.”

Kyle was making that face, the one he saved for people who wore sandles with socks. He could be a little scary, you had to admit.

“This is…wow.” There was a vein pulsating on his forehead. “N/N, this is a whole new level of stupid”

“Maybe.” Yes. Yes it was. “But it is what it is. You have to support me in my idiocy because you are my roommate and one of my best friends.”

“Isn’t Donovan your best friend now?”

“Come on, Kyle. He’s a dick. But he’s actually been pretty nice to me, and—”

“I’m not even—” he grimaced. “I’m not going to address this.”

You sighed. “Okay. Don’t address this. You don’t have to. But can you just not hate me? Please? I know he’s been a nightmare to like the whole world, you included. But he’s helping me out. You, Craig and Nichole are the only ones I care about knowing the truth. But I can’t tell Craig since he’ll tell Nichole and Nichole can’t know—”

“—for obvious reasons.”

“—for obvious reasons,” you finished at the same time and smiled. He just shook his head disapprovingly, but his expression had softened.

“N/N you’re amazing. And kind, way too kind. You should find someone better to date than Clyde. Someone to date for real.”

“Yeah right.” You rolled your eye’s. “Because it went so well with Tolkien. Who, by the way, I only agreed to date following your advice! ‘Give the boy a chance,’ you said. ‘What could go wrong?’ You said.”

Kyle glared, and you laughed.

“Listen, I’m clearly bad at real dating. Maybe fake dating will be different. Maybe I’ve found my niche.”

He sighed. “Does it have to be Donovan? There are better famous singers that you can date.”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. Bebe Stevens?”

“Isn’t she married?”

“Oh. Yeah. What about Tweek Tweak? Not a singer I know but definitely someone who’s single.”

You burst into laughter. “I could never fake-date Tweek, not with how assiduously Craig’s been thirsting after him for the past five years.”

“He has, hasn’t he? Well did I ever tell you I caught them two seriously flirting in his family coffee shop last week? I’m pretty sure Tweek winked at him multiple times from the behind the counter. Now some say he just has a twitch, but—”

“‘Me. I said that he has a twitch. And you tell me about Craig and Tweek every other day.”

“Right.” He sighed. “You know, N/N, I just want Craig to be happy. And I would have fake-dated you myself in a heartbeat to save you from goddamned Donovan. I would have held hands with you, and given you my jacket when you were cold, and very publicly gifted you chocolates and roses and teddy bears on Valentine’s Day.”

How refreshing, to talk to someone who’d watched a rom-com. Or ten. “I know. But also you but you bring home a different girl every week, and you love it. And I know you love it. And I don’t want to cramp your style.”

“Fair.” Kyle looked pleased—whether at the fact that he really did get around a fair bit or at your thorough understanding of his dating habits, you weren’t sure.

“Can you please not hate me, then?”

He tossed the kitchen cloth onto the counter and stepped closer. “N/N. I could never hate you. You’ll always be my bubbala.” He pulled you into his chest, hugging you tight. At the beginning, when you’d just met, you had been constantly disoriented by how physical he was, probably because it had been a while since you’d experienced such physical contact. Now, Kyle’s hugs were your happy place.

You lean your head on his shoulder and smiled into the Cotten of his T-shirt. “Thanks”

Kyle held you tighter.

“Also I promise if I ever bring Clyde home, I’ll put a sock on my door—Ouch!”

“You evil creature.”

“I was kidding! Wait, don’t leave, I have something important to tell you.”

He paused by the door, scowling. “I’ve reached my maximum daily intake of Donovan-related conversation. Anything further will be lethal, so—”

“Pete Thelman, the one funding that giant Cancer Awareness event got back to me! It’s not decided yet, but he might be interested in having the band perform!”

“Oh my God.” Kyle walked back to you, delighted. “N/N, this is amazing! I thought we had no chance, honestly.”

“Well no, me either, but I guess we were wrong! It would be—”

“Fantastic. It would really be fantastic. N/N I’m so excited, and proud of you for following your gut.” Kyle took your hands in his, his face-splitting grin slow and gentled. “And your mom would be so excited, too.”

You looked away, blinking rapidly. You didn’t want to cry, not tonight. “Nothing is set in stone, I’ll have to persuade him. It will invoked quite a bit of him reviewing the band and out music, and pitching us to him. Which you know is not my forte. It might still not work—”

“It will work out.”

Right. Yes. You needed to be optimistic. You nodded, attempting a smile.

“But even if it didn’t…she would still be proud.”

You nodded again. When a single tear managed to slide down your cheek, you decided to let it be.

Forty-five minutes later, you and Kyle sat on your minuscule couch, arms pressed together, watching RuPaul’s Drag Race while you ate a very undersalted veggie casserole

Masterlist

Taglist: @carinaryen @bootsieboo @h3artilly @southparktegreity

[rosetyler42]

Hi! I want to ask what you like about Martha Dracula.

Personally, I hate how she had no purpose other than die to make Drac sad. We didnt see any of her personality so her death feels far less impactful than say, Bambis mom, and I hate the concept of zing/love at first sight trope" because the idea you will immediately know who you are supposed to be with forever based on immediate attraction sends a harmful message to kids and erases aromatic and polyamorous people and ppl who break off romantic relationships but are happier off that way.

I do wish we got to know more about Martha beyond the tragedy of her death and her book about Mavis finding her own zing, but I can kinda understand it as...the story's more about Drac, Johnny and Mavis and there were alot of other things to focus on. We do have SOME window into her personality and relationship with Drac: Mavis is implied to be similar to her and be the peice of Martha he has left, part of the reason he's so protective of her (With all the talk of Ericka being Martha's reincarnation - basically this universe's Mina to compare to other Dracula adaptations, I kind of think MAVIS is actually closer to that role. At least symbolically, although there are other similarities after having read Dracula Daily.) We hear that Martha is clearly the more bold of the two (similarly to Johnny and Mavis.) There's the legend of her and Drac's love story and family in the "Lady Lubov" legend, Drac's been clearly sitting Shiva for over a century, Her book about zings and how they met when she was Mavis' age, And it's implied Drac and Martha loved making music together as Drac mentions he hasn't sung in public since Martha passed. But as much as I do love the things we got, I wish we'd gotten to see more of Martha, seen her and Drac together and their (Less amorous) Gomez and Morticia type dynamic. Now, there IS a deleted scene on the HT bluray that shows Drac and Martha meeting, their courtship, and them having Mavis which gives more of a glimpse at Drac and Martha together which you may be interested in seeing if you haven't already. Matter of fact, Martha's reveal of her pregnant belly as a bat CLEARLY got reused in HT2 in Mavis' reveal of her own pregnancy.

As for the whole zing business...Yes, like all "Love at first sight" and Soulmate stuff, it does spread some harmful ideas, particularly for aro and ace people (like myself!) My mother had similar issues with it herself when we first watched it (though I don't think she knew about aro identities) Though I can kind of understand why it exists. Social interaction, particularly dating, can be a confusing, difficult, and potentially painful process. And I guess it's nice to imagine that you COULD just know the person you're meant to be with without having to go through all the mess. In the case of the HT films, it's also supposed to be a gothic fairytale Romeo and Juliet kind of story, which Love at first sight and soulmates are common tropes in that. Not to mention the trying to juggle a love story plot, a buddy film, family antics, gags, worldbuilding, (and in HT3, the whole "Monster Genocide" business) doesn't exactly lend itself to slow burns. The zing is a sweet idea, even if it doesn't necessarily work that way in real life.

This got long as I have some feelings about anatonormativity + HT , so here's a read more:

To a certain extent, that's part of what I like about HT3: It challenges the "A Zing only happens once in your life" idea by having Drac find love again. And having him DEAL WITH the "You only zing once" being wrong. Alot of people hated that. Some seek to think him falling for Ericka lessens what he had with Martha or means that he's forgotten about her. That he's cheating on Martha somehow. Some dunked on Ericka saying she was "weird" and "ugly", saying Martha was prettier. Some tried to find explanations like Ericka being Martha's reincarnation. But to me...I mean, we tend to think of love as being "The One," yet people fall in love again and remarry all the time. There doesn't HAVE to be a reason Drac zinged twice. And it resolves an issue the first movie had ABOUT "If a zing only happens once, what about people who fall in love and remarry?" Making it at least a BIT less amatonormative in my opinion. Of course, I'm something of an expert at bending rules and finding less amatonormative interpretations, and they never explicitly state EVERYONE has a zing.

Honestly in some ways the HT films are both amatonormative and anti-amatonormative. You have the whole zing/soulmate business, Drac teasing Dennis about Winnie, the guys setting Drac up on dates despite him saying he's not interested, and the whole "late bloomer" conversion therapy business. Most characters in the show have a partner except the mummy (who's shown dating), Vlad (who's showing off for the witches and talks about Nefrititi) and Blobby (who's more comic relief.)

On the OTHER hand, You not only have a 3 generational Non-nuclear family (with a stepmom, yet!) Living together in the same building in close proximity to eachother, but also a bunch of friends that are basically considered family, and at no point in the franchise does the romantic relationship get put higher than the familial or platonic ones. Heck, half the franchise I'd about the familial relationships. And even in the ones about romance, the familial relationships are a big part of those too. (There's also quite a bit if gray-rose coding with Drac himself looking back at the series - including the fact the man only experienced confirmed romantic attraction TWICE that we know of despite how much of a charmer he's shown to be. He can flirt until he's actually interested, then he can't function around them. There's also possible internalized aphobia that does get touched on, particularly in HT2 with him trying to make Dennis a vampire but then turning around and saving him from Vlad's "scare the fangs" plan and ultimately coming to accept Dennis as he is - which there's parallels between Dennis and his younger self drawn there.) I'll also point out that despite the "love and family over racism, we're all basically the same" message, love isn't treated as what makes one "human" in the series. If ANYTHING, it's bravery and willingness to take risk. Particularly to have fun OR protect others.

So yeah, kind of mixed feelings there as an aroace fan.

PS: I'll warn you about the HT3 junior novelization, there's a scene of VH dismissing Love as if it means nothing to him which...more aphobic than the scene in the film was. Particularly since Van Helsing gives off aroace vibes himself.

[wanderinghedgehog]

I Watch Old Movies (Part 3?)

REEFER MADNESS (1936)

Live reaction:

okay the audience is being warned about the dangers of “marihuana”

“ending often in incurable insanity” oh my god nooooooooo

”The Dread Marihuana” I love this already. It sounds like a supervillain

not the PTA!!!!!!

this looks like it would give kids ideas for how to hide their weed

I think it’s story time now

For some reason, the version of this movie I’m watching is colorized. The weed lady is blonde and her hair is so so bright.

that’s an angry sounding doorbell

she put something in her stocking 🤨

I love these kids. They walk up to the curb, they talk, they leave. Real smooth.

😱 his parents got divorced in Paris?!?!?!?! scandal

Ralph is a bit silly. I don’t think I like him.

I think the camera should not be pointed at this guy’s ass maybe

ah yes. high school dance in someone’s basement.

the piano guy is going nuts with that thing

that is such a silly looking dance.

OOOOO my boy Jimmy is gonna play the piano

😱 the original piano guy has the weeed!!!!!

why is the smoke bright green? radioactive weed maybe

this Bill guy is irritating (I want to take away his hot chocolate)

Romeo and Juliet is “swell”

fell in the damn pond

His brother makes fun of him for having a girlfriend. Shame the heterosexuality out of him.

Is root beer not soda?

PIANO GUY

Oh it’s the weed lady with the bright hair! Here she is!

things at this party are getting crazy

oooo this random girl is having a time

all the smoke is different colors. It’s so weird looking. Blue smoke, green smoke, yellow smoke, pink smoke.

this Jack fella is kinda mean :(

retire permanently………

gotta start calling people boss again

oh no he’s driving too fast

MAN DOWN

”Bill’s mother says he never lies” 🤨

The Nar-COT-ic >:(

The Weed Files

oh my god a kid killed his family with axe???? because of weed?????????

That is such a ridiculous question. This does not seem like a great doctor.

piano time again

this lady is kinda annoying

I’m invested in these two weed dealers. They should be in a production of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf

I knew I didn’t like Bill

what’s wrong with his face?

Jesus Christ Piano Guy

purple smoke this time

what’s she laughing at

I really like the weed dealers.

oh no

Okay fuck Ralph. Fuck that guy.

gun?

SHE’S DEAD??????? OH SHIT

framing Bill for murder? Not very nice

drama

purple smoke again

are they gonna kill Ralph?

oh no Bill thinks he killed his girlfriend. Boy you were framed!

DRAMA

the movie is momentarily 12 Angry Men

this is literally 12 Angry Men

Billy boy… looks like a zombie… sad zombie

GUILTY

normal piano time 😔

Ralph is going a little nuts

purple smoooooke

Conscience time

fast piano

Jack’s voice is funny here

echoooooo

oooo girl! Language!

montage

the truth comes out!

Bill’s not guilty now? Yay!

this lady is so loud

flashback montage

OH NO

SHE’S DEAD

this just seems like a lot of court proceedings from here

ending pointing into the camera. classic.

the end

verdict:

what a weird movie. So strange, so confusing, occasionally boring, simultaneously never dull. Weird. Kinda loved it. I would watch it if you like over the top misinformation and bad acting. And white kids dancing to swing music.

6/10

[kyrosion]

Ranking NATO alphabet for name potential:

Alpha - I will judge you but admittedly it will tell people something Very Specific about you. Aleph is infinitely cooler tho just sayin.

Bravo - Sure, lil weird, but I could be convinced. You're the kind of person who might wear a cape as streetwear tho.

Charlie - Extremely mid for a guy but very sexy for anyone else.

Delta - Triangles are hot, rivers are sexy, frats/sororities are not my thing, 2/3 rating but complimentarily so.

Echo - Might be trying too hard but there's worse options here already.

Foxtrot - I will think you're weird but hey if it speaks to your soul ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Golf - DO IT (do not do it)

Hotel - Baffling as a name tbh. May afford many options for tasteless jokes re who's welcome inside you if that's your jam.

India - I've met at least one person named India but I've always held that names that are wellknown placenames are a bad choice. This is the kind of choice that results in things like my cousin Denver who lives in Denver.

Juliet - Sure, unremarkable but maybe you'll feel classy about the Shakespeare reference.

Kilo - Confusing but I like it. Admittedly I'm a sucker for K's.

Lima - EXCELLENT despite what I said above about India, I'm willing to be a hypocrite for this one; I WILL call you Beans.

Mike - That's my uncle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

November - All the nominative sex appeal and sense of mystery you'd miss out on if you were named April, May or June.

Oscar - You'll need one of a handful of particular personalities to pull this off but if you do manage it's kind of a major win.

Papa - Absolutely. Not.

Quebec - No this is where I live, plus it's already confusing enough being a province AND a city, disqualified.

Romeo - See OP, incredibly butch and very highly recommended.

Sierra - See OP, trans energies off the charts, beautiful choice.

Tango - This is already a gay-adjacent penguin, you don't even have that much work to do. Pluck that low-hanging fruit.

Uniform - Okay yeah no but hear me out - does not make a cogent argument but is clearly getting into it

Victor - You're gonna need to be either a consumptive-lookin' academic or just like. Incredibly jacked.

Whiskey - You're nonbinary, we know.

Xray - YES, WE KNOW, YOU'RE NONBINARY.

Yankee - Disallowed, do Not do this.

Zulu - I don't feel qualified to judge whether this is appropriate but I will say it has visual and auditory swag.

if you're transgender and need name ideas, may I direct you toward the nato alphabet because like. delta? november?? echo?? romeo is like the butchest name. please consider foxtrot. being named whiskey would be cool as hell. I know multiple transmascs who were a bit too into english lit and are named victor now. I've met people named sierra who were trans in every direction. maybe don't name yourself golf

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

So if anyone cares (no one does lol), here's the summation of my Sliders watch/rewatch: I finished season 4 and like I remembered before, enjoyed most of it (I suspect the reason some fans hated it was because the Quinn/Wade shippers hated Maggie, fortunately I never shipped anyone on this show). Most of the episodes were great and some fun comedy ones too (Lipschitz Live was a hoot, so was Just Say Yes and Way Out West). Only a few ones that were meh/I hated were World Killer (lame), The Chasm (totally sucked and I remember it being hated back then too) and Net Worth (boring) and the tech Romeo/Juliet episode (meh). I really am having a hard time getting into season 5 - not just the cast changes but it feels dull, pointless and flat and their reasons for why Quinn and Colin aren't there are weird and nonsensical (but I don't speak science). Pretty obviously they were having a tough time explaining why their lead characters suddenly vanished but I honestly think they were better off either killing them off or cancelling the show - so few shows survive not one but two leads leaving. And the characters/actors replacing them were so blah too, no offense to Tembi Locke and dude who plays Mallory whose name I'm not bothering to IMDB. Jury's out on whether I'll finish and since it got cancelled after this one maybe I'm better off not wasting my time. Any suggestions on my next watch/rewatch? I would've preferred Dark Angel or Due South but neither is on US streaming so I'm thinking Angel or Psych. Watched season 1 of Angel but lost interest after that and watched the first few episodes of Psych and lost interest after that too, I remember it being funny though and it's always fun to watch Vancouver-filmed shows and see the same actors over and over from other shows filmed there.

Oh God, for some reason I was sure I responded to it, SORRY ANON ;_:

Hmm, I don't think they played here s5, thank God? xD

Well, Dark Angel is super cool and there is JENSEN in s2 but they cancelled it, so story is not finished. I think they have written some books but people complained thet sucked. And if you won't like Logan x Max it's hard to watch.

I liked Angel but i think I didn't finish it.

I think you already have watched all sci fi old shows xD Maybe Andromeda? If cou can stomach Kevin Sorbo, first 3 seasons were not bad. I'm trying to make myself watch Babylon 5 but me and shows are still not on the same page xD

Anyway, again sorry for super late answer. Hope you are well :)

ps. you can always rewatch Arrowverse shows :PPPPPPPPP

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Love the meta enthusiasm for Stephanie Meyer's unusual mind! I especially liked the "what if Meyer wrote Potter" ask...

Maybe this is too meta to meta, but... what if Meyer wrote one of your fics instead of Canon? Like say Painting Red Madonnas (or a different one if a more interesting idea springs to mind)

For some reason I think she'd claim to draw from a midsummer night's dream instead of Romeo and Juliet and yet still wind up in a very strange place. The parallels almost fit...

Anyways thx for writing, you and vinelle do good work.

Anon's referring to this post. And Painting Red Madonnas for reference.

And thanks for the praise. Look @therealvinelle, praise!

Joke's on you, Meyer would just write canon. But we can do this in detail.

What if Stephanie Meyer Wrote Painting Red Madonnas?

Bella's probably aged back down to seventeen as Meyer is... weird about that age. Edward's seventeen and a dream boat, Bella's seventeen, Carlisle is 23 and treated like he's the ancient adult character in a CW show, even Melanie from The Host isn't over 20. Bella being 22 is far too old!

However, for Bella to be in an exchange program like this or studying abroad in high school she needs a) money and or b) initiative. Bella is... not an ambitious person with any initiative or money. She's not the type of girl who gets to take European vacations or purposefully send herself to a foreign country where she doesn't speak the language and people, she doesn't know who she'll impose upon.

Which means we're back in America and Bella is in dreary Forks Washington at the age of seventeen.

Wait, but this sounds like canon! Yes, yes it does. However, to prevent Twilight, the Cullens have already come and gone in Forks and Bella has just missed them. They're still the talk of the town and Bella can't believe these crystal people are even real and concludes that small town people are hicks.

Now, is Marcus somehow stuck in Forks Washington teaching high school art, you ask? Ha, wouldn't that be great. No. Being nineteen, in the Meyer world this means he can pass for any age around 17 to 27, somehow, so he moves in as a high school student for uh... reasons.

And if you're thinking this is Twilight just with the names swapped out, congratulations, it is.

[panlight]

The thing that always bothered me about the NM breakup was Edward stealing Bella's things as if that would make her forget him. She isn't going to forget a year romance just because you pilfered her stuff, dude! ESPECIALLY not a romance that also included a near-death experience!

The whole thing just never really worked for me in general. Like, I get what SM was going for, and if I had read it a few years earlier when I was in my Romeo & Juliet phase, it probably WOULD have worked for me. But I was already on the older side of YA when I read it so I just kept being like "all this for a high school romance?" even though like, I understand that in-universe this was a much bigger romance than that, that it was meant to be True Love and all that. But I kept being like "you dated for like six months idk."

And the other part that just didn't work for me is when Bella was like "I lost the whole family, the whole future I'd chosen" because like:

a) very few people get the future they planned when they were 17. I don't doubt that having your plans and dreams upended was hard, but the tone of like "this is the worst thing that has literally happened to anyone" sort of rubbed me the wrong way. That quote about time passing is actually beautifully written, IMO, but the "time passes . . . even for me" part made me groan.

b) the Cullens . . . had not offered her a future at this point? Edward hadn't proposed, no one had offered to turn her. When people are like "the Cullens abandoned her!" I'm always like . . . did they? IMO no one owed her any closure except Edward and Alice. When you break up with someone (or someone breaks up with you), you . . . usually stop hanging out with their family? IDK it just didn't strike me as "abandonment" that her ex-boyfriend's family 'left' her.

c) I just didn't buy that she actually cared about any of them anyway. Like I think she liked the idea of being an immortal vampire with a big family, but as of New Moon she canonically doesn't know ANYTHING about Rosalie and Jasper (because she learns that in Eclipse), and her convo with Carlisle with the stitches feels like the first meaningful conversation she's had with him. She never seems to find out Esme's full story. If the Cullens had left but Edward had stayed, do we honestly think Bella would have cared?

And then there was just the fact that she couldn't figure out he left to protect her when it was SO OBVIOUS. And in-universe this is supposed to be about her self-esteem, how she never thought of herself as worthy of him so of course he would leave her but . . . IDK. It was just so blatantly obvious that he left to protect he from a future of either danger or blood-sucking soullessness. He left after Jasper tried to eat her; it wasn't subtle. Like yes I get her self-esteem issues but she's also supposed to be stubborn and perceptive so the fact that she couldn't figure out what was really going on until like he came back and literally explained it to her repeatedly felt weird. But that could just be me.

And then the major, major problem with all this is that Edward leaving to protect her is supposed to be this noble sacrifice he made because a human life would be so much better and more fulfilling for anyone and he wants that for her because he loves her. BUT THEN BREAKING DAWN HAPPENS and being a vampire is just rainbows and sunshine and awesomeness for Bella. Which makes you go like "why did he bother leaving in New Moon?" and "why did they bother sucking the venom out in Twilight?" It creates this conflict of like "Did Edward et al lie about how bad being a vampire is?" or "Is Bella in denial?"

Stealing the stuff is very gaslight-y, yeah. It makes her question if he was real, if any of it was real, it hurt instead of helped. But in universe it's supposed to be him wanting her to have that clean break and chance at a human life but then the over-the-top happy ending of BD makes you go, "huh?" all over again.

[horizon-verizon]

I've seen someone claiming that Aemond and Alys had actually spent some time together, became acquainted (possibly even lovers) before he killed her family and this might be one of the reasons why she was spared. I feel like I'm being gaslighted a bit because according to the text, if I remember correctly, Aemond arrives at Harrenhal a day or so after Cole took the castle, he quickly celebrates his "victory" thinking Daemon ran away and then receives word about the fall of King's Landing which causes him to execute the Strongs. All of this took a few days to happen, at most, making it improbable for anyone to develop some sort of romantic relationship. Am I missing something?

Criston did not actually “take” Harrenhal, Daemon just abandoned it. 

Cole had to march 19 days before he could reach the castle. 

Before then, he fought a battle he easily won against Oswald Wode, the Lord Darry, and the Lord Foote.

Yes, Aemond joined Cole the day after. 

Yes, Aemond heard about King’s Landing’s conquest after he already celebrated his occupation of Harrenhal, which he thinks of his “taking” of it.

Time is sometimes weird in Fire and Blood. We don’t get a clear sentence showing how long it took Aemond to hear about King’s Landing, but I imagine that it would take just a few days (4 the minimum?) for him to find out. And in those days, one day was used as to celebrate.

And no, this isn’t enough time for a person to “fall in love”. This isn’t a Romeo and Juliet story. 

Alys was Aemond’s war prize before he killed all the males in House Strong, which, again, I think happened days after Aemond occupied Harrenhal. 

Which means he more then likely took her almost immediately, at least in the first two days after he occupied the castle.

This is the quote:

Even dragons, as King’s Prince Aemond Landing and fell Ser to Criston Rhaenyra Cole Targaryen were advancing and her on Harrenhal, whilst the Lannister host under Adrian Tarbeck swept eastward.

[The appearance of Roderick Dustin, aka Roddy the Ruin and his band, The Winter Wolves and Sabitha Frey]

Meanwhile, muddy roads and rainstorms slowed the pace of Aemond’s advance, for his host was made up largely of foot, with a long baggage train. Ser Criston’s vanguard fought and won a short, sharp battle against Ser Oswald Wode and the Lords Darry and Roote on the lakeshore, but met no other opposition. After nineteen days on the march, they reached Harrenhal...and found the castle gates open, with Prince Daemon and all his people gone.

Prince Aemond had kept Vhagar with the main column throughout the march, thinking that his uncle might attempt to attack them on Caraxes. He reached Harrenhal a day after Cole, and that night celebrated a great victory; Daemon and “his river scum” had fled rather than face his wroth, Aemond proclaimed. Small wonder then that when word of the fall of King’s Landing reached him, the prince felt thrice the fool. His fury was fearsome to behold. 

First to suffer for it was Ser Simon Strong.

[The Strong extinction]

Thus did the flower of House Strong, an ancient line of noble warriors boasting descent from the First Men, come to an ignoble end in the ward at Harrenhal. No trueborn Strong was spared, nor any bastard save...oddly...Alys Rivers. Though the wet nurse was twice his age (thrice, if we put our trust in Mushroom), Prince Aemond had taken her into his bed as a prize of war soon after taking Harrenhal, seemingly preferring her to all the other women of the castle, including many pretty maids of his own years.

(F&B, “Rhaenyra Triumphant”; pgs. 459-460)

[cobrakaisb]

modern day romeo and juliet

requested: yes by @gpiggy98​

summary: you’re in miyagi-do. hawk is in cobra kai. that doesn’t stop you from having feelings for him though. (for the purpose of this imagine hawk and moon never happened)

word count: 1,725 

“i just don’t know moon. what if he doesn’t even like me?” you asked your friend as the two of you set up for the party that she was having. moon gave you a weird look, “why wouldn’t he like you?” she asked. you scoffed at her words, because how could she be so blind? “i’m in miyagi-do moon! he’s in cobra kai! this could never work!” you exclaim, slamming the red cups down on the table. “it totally can! you guys will be like romeo and juliet, except without the suicide part,” moon said and you couldn’t help but laugh at the carefree girl. “yeah i guess,” you mumbled, organizing the cups into neat piles. “you really should tell him y/n,” moon said softly, her hand resting on your shoulder. 

you sighed, if only it were that easy. obviously it’s hard to confess your feelings to any boy, but this was different. you would be confessing your feelings to hawk, a member of your dojo’s rival dojo. but there was more to it. 

your crush on hawk started before he was hawk, way back when he still went by eli. you thought that his sweaters were cute and his sweetheart personality only strengthened your feelings. your crush on eli had all sprouted when the two of you were partnered up for a project in history. the two of you spent so much time together because of the project that you got to know one another really well. once the project was finished you found yourself crushing even harder on the sweet sweater wearing boy. it just so happened that the end of the project coincided with the end of the eli era. now you found yourself attracted to him because of his bad boy attitude and newfound confidence.    

even though your dojos weren’t exactly on a friendly basis, you still found yourself crushing on hawk. your feelings were only getting stronger, and you knew that eventually you’d have to come clean. you just weren’t sure if you could. you always got butterflies in your stomach when he looked at you, even when he was trying to beat you up at the mall food court. not to mention that you could barely speak a word to him without blushing and stuttering. you could feel the nerves building up just thinking about interacting with him.

“come on! people are going to start arriving soon!” moon said, grabbing your hand and pulling you inside her house. you giggled at her actions, but followed her nonetheless. 

by now the party was in full swing. you were standing in the living room, talking to demetri when you noticed hawk sitting on the couch, looking at moon and her girlfriend piper. demetri followed your eyes before looking back at you. “i’m going to go talk to him,” he announced, walking up to the couch. “demetri i don’t-” you started to say, but it was too late because he was already sitting down next to hawk. you watched their interaction from the sidelines, ready to have demetri’s back if anything went down. however, things seemed to be going fine between the former friends. until hawk poured his drink onto demetri. 

“still a pussy,” he said, throwing the cup at him. that was so hot, you thought. you quickly pushed those thoughts aside. “and you’re still an asshole!” you shouted, causing everyone to look your way. why did i say that?, you screamed internally. “what’d you say princess?” hawk asked, walking over to you. “i said you’re still an asshole,” you repeated, trying to be confident, but the stutter in your voice gave it away. hawk smirked at you, stepping closer to you. “and what are you going to do about it princess?” he asked, and you couldn’t help the blush that rose on your cheeks from his use of the pet name and the lack of space between you. you opened your mouth to say something but no words came out. “that’s what i thought,” hawk answered, walking away from you. 

you huffed at his words, following him out of the living room and into the kitchen. hawk was standing at the counter, making himself a drink. you stood next to him, reaching for the jug of lemonade to pour into your cup. “what’d you come to finally do something about me being an asshole?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at you. “no, i just wanted a drink,” you stuttered, looking around at the different alcohol options that moon had. “go with vodka,” he said, grabbing the bottle. “vodka lemonade smacks,” he continued, pouring some into your cup. “thanks,” you mumbled, smiling at him. hawk smiled back, gesturing for you to take a sip. you did, and your face immediately scrunched up at the taste.

hawk laughed at your facial expression. “i’m glad that my suffering is amusing to you,” you said, putting the red cup down. “i need water,” you mumbled, searching for a bottle. “oh come on princess, i barely put any vodka in there,” hawk teased. you scoffed at his words. “yeah okay,” you said, taking a sip from the water bottle you found. hawk chuckled at you. “stop laughing at me,” you whined, shoving him lightly. the laughter soon died down between the two of you, and you were left staring at each other. 

now’s your chance. “listen hawk i have something i’ve been meaning to tell you,” you whispered, looking down at your shoes. hawk’s eyebrows furrowed at your words. “okay,” he said, but it sounded more like a question. you took a deep breath before meeting his eyes. “i like you hawk, alot, and i was wondering if you’d want to go out with me?” you confessed. hawk stood there silently. he was about to say something when he noticed his cobra kai friends walking into the kitchen. suddenly he scoffed at your words and you looked over your shoulder, understanding settling in. “actually, forget i said anything. i’m just gonna go now,” you mumbled, and hawk didn’t try to stop you from leaving. 

you were sitting on the steps out front of moon’s house, trying to keep your tears at bay. “i shouldn’t have said anything. obviously he wouldn’t want to be seen with a miyagi-do,” you mumbled, putting your head in your hands. “is that really what you think?” hawk asked from behind you, and you tensed at the sound of his voice. “that’s what happened right?” you asked, looking over your shoulder at him. hawk sighed, sitting down next to you. “look y/n the cobra kais were there and i couldn’t, i mean what was i even supposed to do?” hawk said unsurely. “it’s okay, hawk, i get it. you can’t be seen with a miyagi-dork right?” you said, looking at him. 

“no that’s not it at all! i mean yes that’s part of it, but that’s the least of my worries right now,” he replied, looking at you. “what?” you asked, confusion clear in your voice. “you’re too good for me y/n, way too good for me. i’m a horrible person. i trashed your dojo, shit i beat demetri up over a fucking yelp review, yet you still want to go out with me, after everything i’ve done. i don’t deserve someone like you, okay? and you don’t deserve to date someone like me,” hawk explained. it was silent between the two of you after his confession. “trust me, it’s better this way,” hawk sighed, getting up to leave. 

“i love you!” you shouted, standing up on the steps, turning to face his retreating figure which stopped at your words. “i’ve loved you since we worked on that history project together. before you flipped the script and were known as hawk. i loved you when you were eli, and i still love you now. my feelings for you aren’t going to change, no matter what happens. no matter what you do or what everybody says, i’m always going to be stuck loving you!” you shouted, looking into his eyes. hawk stared at you, walking towards you. “you don’t mean that,” he whispered. “but i do,” you whispered, reaching up to cup his cheeks, and hawk leaned into your touch. 

the two of you stood there in silence for what felt like the one hundredth time tonight. hawk slowly started leaning in, and you found yourself meeting him halfway. the second your lips touched, you felt fireworks explode in your stomach. the kiss was slow, and you knew that this was hawk’s way of telling you that he felt the same way about you. when it became difficult to breathe the two of you pulled apart, foreheads touching. “i love you too y/n. i’ve loved you since i was eli, and that’s never going to change for me either,” he breathed out, pulling you closer to him. “and i want to give us a try,” he whispered, your hands falling to the base of his neck. “let’s give us a try,” you agreed, as hawk placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, bright smiles taking over your faces. 

“hey y/n i’m going to take off -” demetri began, but he abruptly stopped when he saw how close you and hawk were. your eyes widened as you realized that you and hawk had been caught by demetri. “demetri listen,” you started to explain, moving out of hawk’s embrace. “no y/n! what the actual fuck? are you seriously making out with hawk right now?” demetri shouted, causing other people’s heads to turn. “i-” you started nervously, but you were once again interrupted, only this time it was by sam. 

“what’s going on?” sam asked, walking up to the three of you. “y/n’s been making out with hawk,” demetri said, pointing at you accusingly. sam looked at you, betrayal written all over her face. “sam listen-” you started to try and explain yourself again. “there’s nothing you can say y/n. you did what you did, and you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences. don’t bother coming back to miyagi-do,” she warned, giving you one last glare before walking away with demetri. you stood there in shock, did you really just get kicked out of your dojo for kissing the boy you’ve had a crush on since forever?

a/n: should i make a part two to this??

[elentiyawhitethorn]

you sing the hell along to taylor swift when you're driving by yourself

In the Backseat

CW: language

AN: So I got this ask a while ago when I reblogged something about anonymously making assumptions about me so I’m fairly certain this was not meant to be a prompt but I got inspired and words happened haha um anyway here you go (I do do that btw). This is part crack and part I don’t even know. And when did my writing get so weird??? My next oneshot will be more normal, I swear

Fluff//2266 words

“We were both young when I first saw you.”

Aelin tapped her fingers on the wheel as she sung. She turned out of the parking lot, having just switched the radio on to find her favorite Taylor Swift song playing.

“And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet”.”

The chorus started playing after a moment and Aelin tilted her head back while watching the road.

“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone,” Aelin sang, already absorbed with the song. She knew her singing voice was terrible, a messy screech that would scare away the fiercest of men, but she was alone and on the way home from a meeting, and Aelin deserved to let loose a little.

She was a CEO, and being in such a powerful position, particularly as a woman, called for extensive relaxation when she could squeeze some time in her busy schedule. Hence the singing, if it could truly be called that.

Aelin turned on a long road, empty at the late hour, that would lead her home.

“You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess, it’s a love story, baby, just say yes!” Aelin yelled, her voice hitting some gods forsaken note that absolutely did not sound good coming from her mouth.

And the absolute most terrifying thing that could have happened, happened.

Someone laughed.

It was quick and muffled, but clearly there.

Which meant there was someone else in Aelin’s car.

She instinctively slammed on the brakes. Breathing completely on hiatus, Aelin held her foot down as they slowed angrily, car screeching down the empty roadway.

A small shout left the person in Aelin’s backseat, thoroughly pissed. But she didn’t wait up, unbuckling and scrambling out of the car as quickly as she could.

Somebody cursed and she heard the door to the backseat on her side get flung open, and Aelin prepared herself to run… when she noticed something.

It had vaguely crossed her mind that there were no vehicles earlier, but now the fact that she was entirely alone was much more prominent in her mind. Aelin looked around to see if she could spot somewhere to run to, but there was nothing around. This road went along a small hill, civilization a couple miles away—at least—on other side. Aelin could walk somewhere if her car had just broken down, but there was no chance she was making it that far with somebody behind her, likely about to be chasing her.

All of this passed through Aelin’s mind in the same moment. Assessing how to deal with the situation. Not the way she did as a CEO, but the way her self-defense instructor had taught her to.

Aelin turned around.

A man was standing not five feet away, next to the car; she had only gotten away from it slightly. He was tall, silver-haired, and tattooed, and probably someone Aelin would have had fun with in another world.

He way also looking murderous as fuck.

“Run away, sweetheart, and you don’t have to get hurt. I’ll just take the car.”

Well, apparently she could run and have a good chance of surviving the night. Still… like hell Aelin had that much self-preservation.

She crossed her arms. “Not a chance, fuckboy. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

The man squinted, entirely not expecting that response. Or any response, really. “I’m robbing you, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Aelin repeated. She frowned. “Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

Aelin stepped forward, probably seeming absolutely suicidal to the man. “Why are you robbing me?”

He frowned, both at her words and her aggressive posture. “Why else to people rob people? I need money.”

“And why is that, Rowan? What terrible misfortune has befallen you?”

The man opened his mouth to reply, eyes squinting and his brain probably trying to process Aelin’s words. Surely not the frightened pleas he’d expected.

Aedion was going to be so pissed.

And then his eyes snapped wide open as he really did process Aelin’s words. She smiled faintly, fully aware that she should not have said what she’d just said.

“How the fuck do you know my name.” It wasn’t a question; instead a deadly, sharpened blade of steel. Aelin had probably just done something very stupid.

She smirked, too scared to regret or act anything but her usual arrogant self. “You were lurking around the building today. My security team notices everything. We got an ID on you, just in case.”

Indeed, Aelin had blurted out the man’s name the second she’d remembered it, remembered seeing the man briefly on her cousin’s tablet and pretending to look at it. The only reason she’d actually remembered the guy’s general appearance or his name was because he was hot.

Aedion always got on her for admiring the sketchy men he frequently pointed out to her.

Rowan took a small step forward, as if not to startle her. It didn’t work.

He paused, and the look on his face was absolutely petrifying. “You could have run.”

Shit.

Now that Aelin had idiotically IDed him, Rowan wasn’t going to let her leave.

Shit, shit, shit.

Aelin stepped into a defensive position. “What the fuck kind of robber are you, anyway? You’re not supposed to blow your cover by laughing. Elementary,” she said, desperately stalling and wondering where, exactly, her cell phone was right now.

She thought she detected a hint of embarrassment in Rowan’s eyes, but he smirked to cover it. “I was unprepared for the little show you gave me. Nice singing voice, by the way.”

Despite herself, despite the situation, Aelin flushed a deep red. “Whatever,” she muttered, totally distracted from the fact that someone was about to kill her by her humiliation. She didn’t enjoy other people having the knowledge that she could sing worse than ninety-nine percent of the population. Or that she sang anyway when she was alone.

The conversation had Aelin’s mind partially occupied; not completely, but just enough that she almost didn’t notice Rowan lunging at her.

Almost.

Aelin spun and landed a roundhouse kick on Rowan’s gut. He doubled over in pain and Aelin put her arms on her hips. “You are a sucky criminal,” she declared.

Rowan glared up at her and straightened, seemingly painfully. He clenched a fist and took a swing.

Almost to the point where she was rolling her eyes—Aedion would be tearing out his hair in frustration if he were watching this—Aelin kicked out a leg and knocked Rowan onto the ground. She moved forward and dropped on top of him, pinning his arms and keeping him down, unsure if she needed to look out for weapons or not. He gaped up at her.

“I’m one of the most powerful people in the country. I��ve had half a dozen death threats already. You think I can’t fend off a puny little wannabe robber?”

Rowan tried for a scowl, then seemed to deflate. “Fuck.”

“That’s one word for it.” Aelin tightened her grip on his wrists. “Here’s what’s going to happen, Rowan. I’m going to call the police. You’re going to get carted off to prison. And you’re not going to try a single fucking thing unless you want to walk away with a pair of black eyes and some missing teeth. Understood?”

He scowled and tried to shift under her weight, but Aelin just maneuvered and pulled one of his fingers back, barely even far enough to cause pain, and he stopped. “Do you really expect me to just sit here and let you ruin my life?” Rowan spat at her.

Aelin frowned distastefully. “I don’t think I’m the one who ruined your life.”

Rowan just scowled. “Fuck you.”

“I bet you’d like to, sweetheart.” Rowan blinked. “But I’m afraid my cousin would be upset if I slept with a criminal. Or prospective criminal, anyway.”

Leaving the man gaping up at her, Aelin stood in one swift motion. He tried to stand as well, but Aelin kicked him in the gut, hard, and jogged over to her car as he groaned.

The car door was still open, and Aelin peered in and glanced around, looking for her phone. Rowan got up, still clearly in pain but able to move well enough. Fuck.

Aelin leaned in farther and finally spotted her cell on the floor. She reached for it, then pushed herself out and back into a defensive stance as Rowan slowly walked toward her again.

“I’m going to call the cops, as I said I would,” Aelin told him. “If you try to stop me, you’ll only get hurt, worse than before, and it sure as hell won’t help your case. If you try to run, you’re just going to get picked up later, since I—and my security team—know who you are. Stay where you are, behave like the good little boy you’re trying so hard not to be, and I might let you get off easier than I normally would. Got it?”

Emotions started flickering across Rowan’s face as she started to dial.

“Wait,” he finally said, desperation finally taking over his features. “Don’t. Please.”

Aelin rasied an eyebrow, only pausing momentarily. “Well, since you asked so nicely.” Her voice oozed sarcasm.

Rowan heaved a breath. “I have a daughter.”

“And I have a dog waiting on me at home. Doesn't mean I get a free pass for robbing someone,” Aelin snarked.

“Look,” Rowan pleaded. “My wife took off a few years back. I’ve been struggling to keep us in an apartment. I got fired last week because of a budget cut. I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t going to hurt you, I swear.”

“Oh, please,” Aelin scoffed, “You’re full of shit.”

Rowan shook his head, eyes flicking to the phone in her hand then back to her face. He reached in his jacket and Aelin tensed, ready to jump behind her car or tackle him or whatever the fuck she was supposed to do when someone pulled a weapon on her, but Rowan only pulled out a wallet. He opened it and hastily pulled out a small scrap of paper. A photograph.

Aelin’s heart almost melted when Rowan held it out and her eyes landed on a young girl, perhaps six or seven, grin so wide she could see all the spaces where she’d lost teeth. Her hair was in cute little pigtails, perfectly matching her energetic appearance.

“Please,” Rowan repeated. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll wash your car. I’ll mop your floors for a year. Anything.”

“Damn my romantic heart,” Aelin muttered. She sent Rowan a frown. “You still tried to rob me. And I don’t want you to mop my gods-damn floors. I have people for that.”

“I know. But I… I might have something you want, actually.”

Aelin crossed her arms. “Like what, pray tell?”

“You were singing Taylor Swift,” Rowan said. “You seem to be… a fan.”

“Get to the point,” she hissed.

“I know Red’s being rereleased tonight. My daughter has been talking about it for weeks. If you get me arrested, you’ll have to answer questions for the police for a while. It’s almost midnight. You’ll miss hearing it immediately.”

Aelin wasn’t even embarrassed to admit that had been a major concern in her mind while this whole event was taking place. She’d honestly been counting the minutes until this would be over. And dammit, he was right.

Sensing her growing reluctance to allow herself to miss the big event, Rowan took a deep breath. “Let me go home to my daughter. You go home and listen to your music. Then we’ll talk about what I can do to make it up to you.”

Aelin nodded. “Fine. Okay. But we don’t need to talk about it later; I already know what I want you to do for me.”

“What?” Rowan asked nervously.

“Take me on a date,” Aelin replied simply.

His brow furrowed. “What?”

“Yes, I’m crazy. And yes, my cousin is legitimately going to murder me for this. But yeah, that’s my price. Take me out for coffee and you’re off the hook.”

“Why the fuck would you want that?”

“You’re hot and I feel really bad for you and you’re a really crappy criminal and—have I said this already?—you’re very hot.”

Rowan’s lips twitched. “So even whilst trying to murder you and doing a piss-poor job of it, I’m still a catch? I can’t say that does nothing for my ego.”

Aelin grinned. “I have about half an hour left until Red comes out. That’s just enough time to get home and seat myself with the proper equipment: blankets, chocolates, my cuddly dog, and most importantly, tissues. So I’m going to head out now. And… I would offer you a ride to the nearest bus stop or something, but I feel like walking however the hell far you have to walk home is punishment for all this bull. Have a nice night, Rowan.”

He chuckled. “You too, Aelin. See you.”

Aelin winked, then sidled over to her car. She got in and closed the door, but rolled the window down.

“Don’t you want my number?” Rowan asked, stepping away from her car’s path.

Aelin sent him a saucy glance. “I’m sure it’s on file or something. I’ll find you.”

The last thing Aelin heard as she started moving, swerving back onto the road and heading home to have her heart broken by Taylor Swift, was Rowan laughing sheepishly after her.

She blew him a kiss as she sped off.

———

Tag List:

@aelin-bitch-queen

@evolving-dreamer

@feysand-loml

@flora-shadowshine

@gracie-rosee

@infernoqueen19

@julemmaes

@lemonade-coolattas

@live-the-fangirl-life

@midsizewitch

@morganofthewildfire

@nehemikkele

@realbookloverproblems

@rhysandswingspan

@rowaelinismyotp

@rowanaelinn

@sexy-dumpster-fire

@sleeping-and-books

@story-scribbler

@swankii-art-teacher

@the-lonelybarricade

@thenerdandfandoms

@yesdreamblog

[fruitcoops]

thinking about the team learning that remus moved into sirius’

God I missed the Lions groupchat. Hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

I

“Rookie!”

Leo paused halfway down the hall and turned, raising an eyebrow as Sirius jogged to catch up. They bumped forearms in greeting, then continued to walk. “What’s up?”

“Can I borrow you on Saturday for a couple hours? Just to move some boxes, nothing huge.”

Leo shrugged. “Sure. Do you want me to bring Finn’s car, too?”

“Nah, that’s alright. Transport is taken care of.” Sirius ran a hand through his hair, looking strangely nervous at the thought. Is he moving? Remodeling?

“Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m good.” A softer look came over his face and Leo added Involves Remus to his mental checklist. “Thanks, Knutty. Nice saves today.”

“No problem, Cap.”

II

There was a knock on the doorjamb of Moody’s office and he frowned when Remus ducked inside. “You don’t have to knock, Lupin.”

“Sorry, I was distracted.” He waved a vague hand in the air and concern crept into the edge of Moody’s mind.

“You’re not quitting, are you?”

“What? No!” Remus looked positively scandalized at the thought. “Hell no, I was just going to let you know that I’ll be busy on Saturday. It’s moving day and I won’t be able to help unload the pallets.”

“Oh.” Did he tell me he was moving, earlier? “I’m glad you’re getting out of that hamster cage of yours. See you bright and early on Monday, kid.”

III

The phone rang twice before it connected. “Hello?”

“Hey, Loops!” Talker held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he pulled his food out of the microwave. “Are you free on Saturday? The new X-Men is coming out and Noelle can’t make it.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” Remus teased. “Talkie, I’m flattered.”

“Very Romeo and Juliet, I know,” Talker laughed. The plate was just hot enough to make him wrinkle his nose. “There are showings at ten, 12:30, and three, and then a late-night one at nine. Do any of those work?”

“I think—shit, wait, you said Saturday?” Something rustled on Remus’ end and he sighed. “Sorry, I’m busy moving that whole day.”

“Congrats, man! It’s about time!” Talker carefully set his food on the table and put the phone on speaker so he could eat without completely grossing Remus out. “Doesn’t Cap have to duck to get through the doorway to your place?”

“He’s got about an inch of space, yeah,” Remus snorted. “Is there a showing on Sunday that we could go to? Unless you’re going to ditch me for your girlfriend, in which case, rude.”

“We could make it a double-date,” Talker suggested around his pasta. “How about the ten am one, and then we can grab lunch?”

“Sounds good, Talkie. See you then!”

IV

“Did you guys know Loops is moving?” Finn asked from the living room armchair, splaying one leg over the armrest and tucking the other underneath himself.

In the kitchen, Logan frowned. “That’s…weird. I thought Cap was moving.”

“Yeah, he asked if I could help him with some boxes on Saturday,” Leo added as he walked out of their bedroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. “I figured he was just remodeling.”

Finn gasped, sudden and sharp, and almost fell off the armchair. “Holy fuck, are they moving in together?”

Leo choked on his toothpaste; Logan nearly dropped a plate. “Oh my god they are,” Leo whispered, then scrambled back into the bathroom to wash his mouth out.

Logan fumbled for his phone.

Message To: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE HELPING CAP AND/ OR LOOPS ON SATURDAY

Message From: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

Me?

Me

Me

I am

Loops ditched on our date :((

Logan frowned.

Message To: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

Talkie if you’re ditching my sister for Loops we’re going to have a problem

Also CAP LOOPS GET IN HERE

Message From: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

It’s Thursday that’s their date night

Pots why do you know that

It’s called being an attentive friend dumbass

Tremz what is happening????

Message To: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

We’re all idiots

They’re moving in together

That’s why they’re both busy

Message From: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

OH FUCK

YESSSSS

AHAHAHA FINALLY

FUCK YEAH LET’S GOOOOO

Are we ignoring the part where they tried to keep this a secret or

Oh my god can you all SHUT THE FUCK UP

Hey Loops!

Looooooooooops

LOOPS LOOPS LOOPS

Yes hello is there an emergency?? Did someone die??

“Yes, I died from the suspense and betrayal,” Finn groaned from the other room.

Message From: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

YOU’RE MOVING IN WITH CAP???

??? Yes???

And didn’t tell anybody???? Bitch

There were a few moments of silence in the groupchat. Logan glanced up and saw Finn and Leo standing near each other, both glued to their phones.

Message From: Hockey Brain Go Brrr

Okay so it seems we forgot to tell you guys

In my defense I thought we did

Oh my GOD Loops

Jesus Christ

How are you two so smart and so dumb

Surprise?

I mean congratulations but also fuck you guys for not telling us sooner

Yeah the housewarming party is going to be short a few fireworks

Jackson Nadeau if you bring fireworks to my house I’ll end you

Oh hey Cap

Oh captain my captain you absolute dumbass why didn’t you say anything???

1) Yes we are moving in together 2) Thank you Pots for remembering it’s date night 3) We’re leaving now and if anyone tries to call us you’re doing extra sets on Monday

That is such a captain thing to say you’re so lame

See you Saturday

Finn’s phone pinged softly. “Siri, where is the nearest fireworks shop?”

V

Remus groaned as Sirius pulled up to the house. The entire team was gathered in the front yard; someone had taped streamers to the front door.

“I’m going to kill them,” Sirius said.

“I’ll visit you in prison.”

“CONGRATULATIONS!” the guys cheered.

Sirius gritted his teeth and Remus fought back a blush as they began unloading boxes from the trunk of the car, desperately ignoring the confetti poppers and the whoops of their idiot friends. “Don’t make eye contact,” Remus muttered, making Sirius laugh under his breath. “They can smell your fear.”

They squeezed through the front door and set the boxes in the entryway—as soon as Sirius opened it again to get the rest of Remus’ things, six different people tumbled through, already carting his dishes, clothes, and a variety of other things.

“Fuck, Loops, what the hell is in here?” Nado grunted as he set it down and stretched his back.

“A super neat invention called ‘books’,” Remus sad drily around his grin. “Thanks for carrying it for me.”

“Is this all you brought?” Talker looked back at the car, then to the boxes.

“Pretty much. It’s not like I needed to move furniture or anything.”

Leo clapped his hands together, smiling bright. “Great! That means we can all go to lunch now and roast you in person for neglecting to tell us about this.”

Sirius threw his hands in the air. “It was an accident!”

“Yeah, and?” Logan linked their elbows and all but dragged him outside with Remus hot on their heels. “Come on, Captain, I haven’t made fun of you in a whole day!”