#“I know it's a fire hazard. I needed to test it.”

[pancake-blogging]

I work at a fuel center, and – on average, every week – I have to tell 3-5 people that they're not allowed to smoke anywhere NEAR the fuel center. Because, you know, it's a fire hazard.

Every time, they fight me on it and insist that it's TOTALLY okay and safe for them to smoke riiight next to the pumps.

what's the most confidently and wrongly a grown adult has ever argued with you - I'll start.

at a work dinner - for scientists - a woman there was convinced that all of sign language was just spelling out words letter-by-letter. she was saying that what we consider sign language is just people spelling out full English words, and she said "it's amazing because it's the only universally-understood language." cue silence from the table.

she fully believed that deaf people in China were spelling out English words letter by letter in ASL to communicate, and that distinct words did not exist. we kept trying to correct her. she replied that it's one of her special interests and she's done extensive research on the subject.

[lev1hei1chou]

A What?

Gojo x reader Genre: Fluff Synopsis: You ask for a baby out of nowhere Masterlist Requests open!

"Hey, Satoru, I want a baby."

The man choked on his cereal. Milk splattered across the table, and he coughed, looking at you with wide, incredulous eyes. "You what?"

You grinned, loving his reaction. "I want a baby."

Gojo blinked, processing your words. "Like...a human baby? With diapers and all?"

You laughed. "Yes, Satoru, a human baby. Not a cursed spirit baby or a baby goat. A tiny human."

He leaned back in his chair, still stunned. "You can't just drop a bomb like that while I'm eating my Froot Loops, babe. Give a guy some warning."

You shrugged, leaning over to wipe a speck of milk off his cheek. "I thought you could handle anything."

"Yeah, curses and evil sorcerers, sure. But this...this is a whole new level of scary." He ran a hand through his white hair, making it stand up in more directions than usual. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious." You sat down across from him, your expression softening. "I think we'd make great parents."

He looked at you, eyes softening. "Of course we would. I mean, look at us. We're awesome."

You snorted. "Modest, as always."

"Hey, it's not arrogance if it's true." He grinned, then grew serious again. "But...a baby? That's a big deal."

"I know. But I want to start a family with you, Satoru."

He was silent for a moment, then his lips curved into a smile. "Okay. Let's do it."

You blinked. "Really? Just like that?"

He shrugged. "Why not? I've always wanted kids. Didn't think about it too much because, you know, job hazards and all. But if you want a baby, then I want a baby. Simple as that."

You laughed, feeling a wave of relief and excitement. "Simple as that, huh?"

"Yep." He stood up, suddenly energized. "Alright, let's make a baby right now."

Your eyes widened. "Satoru, we can't just...it's the middle of the day!"

"Details, details." He waved a hand dismissively. "I'm the strongest sorcerer in the world. I can make time for baby-making."

You couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. "How romantic."

He waggled his eyebrows. "Oh, I can be romantic. Just you wait."

The next few days were filled with Gojo's attempts at being "romantic." You came home to rose petals scattered all over the living room (which the cat was now batting around), a candlelit dinner (where he nearly set the kitchen on fire), and a bubble bath for two (where he splashed so much water that the bathroom flooded).

"You're really trying, aren't you?" you said, toweling off your hair after the bath fiasco.

He pouted. "I'm trying to set the mood."

You kissed his cheek. "I appreciate it, Satoru. But we don't need all this. Just you and me, together. That's enough."

He smiled, pulling you into his arms. "You're right. As always."

That night, lying in bed, he turned to you with a mischievous look in his eye. "So, about that baby..."

You laughed, swatting his chest. "Okay, okay. Let's do this."

A few weeks later, you found yourself holding a pregnancy test in your hand, heart pounding. Gojo was pacing back and forth in the bathroom, looking more nervous than you'd ever seen him.

"Okay, okay, okay," he muttered. "It's fine. Whatever it says, it's fine."

You glanced at the test, then at him. "Satoru, you need to calm down."

He stopped pacing and looked at you, taking a deep breath. "Right. Calm. I can do calm."

You held up the test, a smile spreading across your face. "We're having a baby."

For a moment, he just stared at you, then he whooped, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. "We're having a baby! I'm gonna be a dad!"

You laughed, holding onto him. "Yes, you are. And you're going to be amazing."

He set you down, his eyes shining. "We're going to be amazing."

Months passed in a whirlwind of doctor's appointments, baby shopping, and Gojo's over-the-top preparations. He baby-proofed the house, even the ceiling, "just in case the baby is super strong and starts climbing walls."

"Satoru, that's ridiculous," you said, watching as he padded the corners of the coffee table with foam.

He looked up at you, serious. "Safety first, babe."

When the day finally came, Gojo was more nervous than you. He held your hand in the delivery room, eyes wide as he watched the process.

"You're doing great," he whispered, though it seemed like he was saying it more to himself than to you.

Hours later, when the baby finally arrived, Gojo stared at the tiny bundle in his arms, tears in his eyes. "Hi there, little one. I'm your dad."

You smiled, exhausted but happy. "And I'm your mom."

He looked at you, his expression full of love and awe. "We did it."

You nodded, feeling a surge of emotion. "Yeah, we did."

[joelmillers-whore]

Choking Hazard

summary: you’ve been waiting for joel all day, waiting for him to fuck you like he promised. but when he discovers that you’d gotten yourself off earlier, he makes you pay for being disobedient. 

recommended song(s): SLUT ME OUT - NLE Choppa 

pairings: joel x reader 

word count: 4.1K

series or one-shot 

warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, no mention of Y/N, no outbreak, joel miller x female!reader, SMUT, daddy joel can get it, orgasm denial, overstimulation, use of sex toys (vibrator), allusions to female masturbation, cum play, oral (male receiving), praise, slight degradation kink, dirty talk, dom joel, choking on cock, fingering but for only a second, rough blowjob, lots and lots of teasing, edging, pet names (mostly baby and sweetness, a lil darlin' in there too), porn without plot, cum facial, cum eating, spitting 

A/N: JUST SOME GOOD ‘OL DIRTY SMUT FOR YOU ALL. i don’t know what this is but i saw a picture on pinterest of a pair of boxers that had the words ‘choking hazard’ written on the crotch and my dirty mind ran with it lol. 

You’d been waiting not so patiently for Joel to get home from work and it was killing you. He’d left your whole body on fire, each searing touch licking at your flesh, each hungry look he gave another nail in the coffin for your pride. Because you wanted it— needed it, and he was all too aware of that fact.

You were so turned on that the slightest brush at just the right angle could knock into you and you’d probably cum on the spot. Your need was bad, and deadly, and it didn’t help much that Joel enjoyed it. He got a kick out of torturing you, holding your release just out of reach that you’d be willing to ruin yourself for a single moment of pleasure. 

The taunting had become a test between you, each measuring your limits and how much you could take. This time was no different. With dark and rounded eyes, Joel had gripped you hard by your chin, almost painfully so, and demanded that you not touch yourself, not give into the temptation of your orgasm.

And then, he did the most menacing thing he had ever done. He left you alone and completely to your own devices, if not for a small keepsake of multiple and agonizingly strong bursts of tremors every hour. 

Your nipples hardened into painful peaks, pressing into the abrasive material of your shirt and torturing you with equally blissful and confusing sensations. You snapped your eyes shut, rolling your head to the side as a powerful buzz rocketed through you, sending vibration after vibration shooting from your core, through the expanse of your body and settling low in your stomach, nudging you closer to your orgasm.

It was demented what he was doing to you; his little science experiment like you were some sort of fucked-out lab rat. It was drawn out and bordering on sadistic, and you couldn’t do anything but take it. 

Before heading out for the day, Joel had instructed you to get on the bed and spread your legs. His voice had been low, lethal, the edge of it shooting straight to your core, turning you into a needy slut. You’d whined, and begged, but Joel wouldn’t have it.

It was his time, his moment, and he wasn’t going to allow you to take that away from him. You had thought that he would be kind, that he would leave you with a parting gift. Maybe an orgasm to satiate your hunger for him until he came back home. Instead, your lips turned down, your brows furrowing in confusion when he’d revealed a small box, holding up a strange-looking device. 

Your core fluttered and came to life as you laid eyes on the toy. The pink, smooth vibrator promising endless pleasure that you’d happily give into. As you inspected it, your walls clamped around nothing, eyes dragging over the silicon material that curved at the end.

It reminded you of Joel’s cock and you bit down on your lip, suppressing a moan, not wanting to give Joel any more ammunition than he already had. 

You were roughly pulled toward the edge of the bed, feeling Joel’s massive and calloused hands grip you, making you squirm away from his touch out of reflex. He grabbed your ankles, soft fingers contrasted against the strength behind his grip.

Each and every nerve was awakened, charged, as if at a molecular level, you had been starved. You’d be lying to yourself if you said that the way he was looking at you, through heavy lids, his eyes glinting with devilish intent, wasn’t turning you on. Because it was.

You both knew it. You could feel the prominent wetness in your underwear grow in size and at this rate, you’d be drenched by the time he got you out of them. 

He wasted no time shimming you out of said panties, forcefully lifting your hips and tugging them down your legs. It was rushed, quick, as if at any second he could change his mind, alter his direction, and fuck you senseless instead.

You noticed the strain on his face, the way that the muscles in his neck were so tightly coiled you’d bet they would snap if you so much as breathed wrong. He was wound up as soundly as you were, suffering the same way you were, yet he let his feelings aside to fulfill a deeper desire. 

With your soaked panties in one hand and his other gripping both of your ankles, he brought the material to his nose, inhaling your scent deeply, with purpose. He let out a rumbling groan, letting his eyes flutter closed as he relished in it, knowing that you were that wet for him. Only him. Only ever him.

Your chest squeezed, constricting in time with your quickened breathing, the anticipation was killing you. Your hairline was slick with beads of sweat, from both the rising temperature in the room, and the restraint that you were exhibiting. Because you were holding yourself back, waiting to see what came next. 

Joel dropped to his knees, running his hands up and down your legs, almost tenderly, teasingly lighter than how he had been. It fucked with your head, how he was able to be both tender and punishing within such a short amount of time.

He inserted a single digit into you, your hips lifting, trying to escape the sudden intrusion. Joel held you firmly in place, his hand on your stomach crushing you into the mattress below. You’d thrown your head back, wiggling your lower half, trying to find something more than just his one finger. 

He had shushed you, telling you to be patient and that he’d make you cum if you behaved. His words heated your skin, making your lower stomach cramp and sparking something primal within you. You wanted him to fuck you with wild abandon, not stopping when you cried out, begged him for some sort of reprieve, or when you gasped for breath.

You needed him carnally, in a way that would make the Gods weep. It was something you should be ashamed of, but then again, did you really care? 

Your back naturally arched off of the bed when you felt him finally move inside of you, scissoring your hole, and curling his fingers, tickling the edge of your walls. A broken moan slipped past your lips, and incoherent begging mixed with panting came next. Your mind was in a fog, abuzz with lust. You continued to beg for it, begged for anything to make the pain stop. 

Joel removed his fingers, chuckling darkly when you whined. His face was twisted in concentration as he replaced his fingers with the vibrator, the size of it stretching you out.

Your chest was heaving, feeling like a balloon ready to burst from the blinding pressure in your cunt. He inserted it inch by delicious inch, not stopping when you protested, telling him that it wouldn’t fit. He made some crude comment that he would make it fit. 

You should have been turned off but your skin only tingled when he had said it. You felt his eyes watching you every second, not straying from your face as he studied you, curious to see how far he could push you, which limit would be too much for you.

He hummed in satisfaction when the device was fully lodged inside of you. 

In your daze, you hadn’t been sure if you asked him aloud what he planned to do with you, or if you had just only thought it. But when his raspy voice cut through the dense air between you, you’d stilled. You’ll see, is all you had gotten from him.

It made your heartbeat thunder in your chest, hearing a teasing, but all the same, dark lilt dripping from his silky and usually warm Southern drawl. But it wasn’t warm today, it was cold.

Chilling you to the bone at his warning disguised as a promise. Joel got to his feet, leaning over your slack body, and gripped your chin, thumb digging into your bottom lip. 

“Open”, he instructed, and you obeyed. 

You opened your mouth, slowly. He towered over you, his face inches from your own. His dark brown eyes held no warmth, instead, they made you shiver when you looked into them. Which was an entirely new feeling for you. With an open mouth, Joel parted his own lips, letting a glop of saliva dangle off of his tongue, and let it drip into your awaiting mouth.

He snapped your jaw closed, watching your eyes curiously for any hint of disgust or refusal. Not that he’d let you refuse him in the first place. 

“Swallow”. 

Two words. Commands. And you were putty, willing to do whatever to please him. Your throat worked his spit down, swallowing it audibly. Joel’s lips quirked at the edges, his eyes shining with satisfaction. Wordlessly, he left you, heading out of the bedroom.

The room was silent, save for your harsh breathing. You heard the front door close, mistakenly thinking that Joel would be right back but you had been wrong. You shot up shakily, balancing your body weight on your elbows as you let out an annoyed puff. 

Your head was spinning as you lay there, waiting for what, you didn’t know. You rubbed your thighs together, unsure of your next move. Joel hadn’t explicitly said that you couldn’t touch yourself and he wasn’t there to help you out. What was the harm?

A sudden and sharp buzz pounded into you, the jolt making you rip your hand away from your aching cunt, forcing a loud moan from you. Your toes curled from the onslaught of pressure building and you were panting, slick running down your legs. 

You felt the warm tingling sensation that you craved. It began at the base of your spine, easing the knot that had been tangled in your stomach. It climbed higher and higher, your throat gulping bursts of air at a damning rate.

Your clit was on fire from the overstimulation of the continual vibrations, the pleasure bordering on painful. You were levitating off of the bed, head empty of every thought except your imminent release. Streaks of hot tears painted your cheeks, from the burn in your pussy, or the relief, you weren’t sure. 

Your legs quivered in time with each drawn-out buzz, your orgasm cresting and a breath away from exploding out of you. Suddenly, everything stopped. The vibrations were gone, your release yanked from you. You whimpered, crying out into the empty room as if someone could hear you. 

What the fuck? Your breathing was choppy, almost coming out as wheezes, your throat burning. Your pussy fluttered, your walls clamping and unclamping as if they didn’t know what to do next. You blinked back more tears, throwing your head back in both exhaustion and pent-up anger.

You were officially sexually frustrated that you’d give anything to cum. It was all so overwhelming and torturous. You heard a dull vibration from somewhere in the room, your body so hooked on the buzzing of the vibrator that it twitched.

You shook your head, sliding from the bed. It was your phone. Your heart ticked up when you saw that the message was from Joel. 

Joel: Having fun? 

You audibly growled at the phone. He was taunting you when you were all out of patience. The fucking bastard. 

You: Actually, no. 

Joel: Bet you’d have a change of heart if I made you cum.

Your walls clenched around nothing when you read and re-read his words, making sure you weren’t hallucinating. 

You: Was that... you? 

He took longer to respond this time, which made your hand clench at your side, nerves working in tandem with your displaced energy. You waited for his answer, realizing that you were playing right into his hand, holding your breath for his next instruction.

A soft buzz emitted in your hand. 

Joel: Thought we could have some fun today. 

You groaned, cursing softly. Fun. Sure. That had been so much fun. 

You: Wasn’t that much fun, baby. I didn’t get to cum. 

Joel: If you’re a good girl today, maybe I’ll let you. 

Maybe I’ll let you. The fucking balls on this man. He knew exactly what he was doing, winding you up so that you’d have no choice but to agree to him. You felt like he knew every decision you were going to make and yet, you had never been so turned on in your life. 

You: Fine. What do I have to do? 

Joel: Behave. Don’t touch yourself and don’t cum until I get back home. You’ll be rewarded if you manage to hold out. 

You rolled your eyes. It was sick. It was sick and oh, so hot. You bit down on your lip, wincing from the pressure. 

You: You have a deal. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. Your thighs had been aching all day, shaking until the muscles spasmed on their own. You debated conceding, telling Joel that you were at the end of your rope, and that he would just have to let you make it up to him.

Your resolve had slipped further out of reach as the day progressed, the excruciating spike of the harsh vibrations drilling into you, forcing you to grip whatever surface was closest to you, until the blinding pleasure subsided. Your mind was creeping to the edge of madness, your determination waning. Until it was non-existent. 

Your chest was heaving, toes cramping, chest burning as you came back down from your orgasm, your engorged and swollen clit chafing as you slid off of the bed.

Your fingers were covered in your own juices, as you walked into the bathroom to wash your hands. You’d broken your promise, crumpled for a moment of gratifying pleasure. And you felt like a failure. 

But you hadn’t been able to dwell on it for long before you heard the front door unlock, your back stiffening as you heard it close gently. Your breathing became shallow, knowing you were in for it, and that you hadn’t been able to last. Joel would unearth the truth from you and punish you accordingly.

A cord of both anxiety and excitement settled between your legs. You heard the dull thump of him kicking off his boots, your spine tingling with anticipation as you tracked each step he took. 

Joel entered the bedroom, finding your eyes immediately. He leaned against the doorframe, eyes roaming you hungrily. His smile was tired, but those never-ending orbs gleamed back at you with the promise of something sinful.

They squinted, boring into you suspiciously. You fiddled with your hands, trying not to make it obvious that you had disobeyed him, cumming just moments ago when he had told you not to. 

Joel closed the distance, peeling off his flannel, and throwing it onto the chair in the corner of the bedroom. Your gaze focused on his chest, his broad shoulders, watching the subtle way that his chest rose and fell softly. He didn’t seem the least bit on edge, unlike you. His hands found your hips, gripping them tightly. 

He inhaled deeply, a wicked and knowing smirk plastered on his lips. 

"'D'you come, baby? Hm?", he asked, gruffly. "Did you disobey me and get yourself off?". 

"No", you answered, shaking your head. But it came out meekly, unsure. 

Joel slid one of his hands up your waist, crawling up your stomach and past your chest, to grip your throat, resting at the base of it. Out of habit, you swallowed, Joel’s eyes flicking to your throat.

His eyes seemed almost black, endless with lust as they honed in on you. On every tick and hum of your body. 

His hand tightened around your throat, not yet constricting your airflow, but playing with the fact that he could if he so chose.

A surge of liquid fire tore through your lower belly, making a home deep within you. 

"I think you did, sweetness", he hummed, licking his bottom lip, his nostrils flaring, "I can smell it on you". 

You fisted his shirt, unsure if you were trying to stop him from what he was going to do next, or steady yourself as you rode the impending wave. His grip tightened on your throat, and the other hand pulled your body flush with his.

Your pulse strummed, feeling him harden through his jeans. You felt his growing bulge push into your stomach. You were only wearing an oversized shirt yourself, your lower half completely bare and exposed, ready for whatever Joel was about to do to you. 

His face lowered and he dragged his scruff along your jawline harshly, his full lips ghosting over your already inflamed skin. You whined from the contact, practically keening at how touch-starved you felt.

Joel had complete control over your emotions and your body. He had two modes; rough and tender. And you knew exactly which one you were in for tonight.  

“Don’t lie to me now”, he started, his one hand tangling in your hair, yanking to the point of pain. “Just gonna make it worse for yourself”. 

You let out a broken moan, bucking your hips into his bulge, trying to distract him long enough to forget that you’d come without his permission.

But it didn’t seem like that was going to happen. He only tightened the hand that was around your throat, all but crushing your windpipe, causing your pussy to weep at how much you wanted him to fuck you. 

“Y-yes”, you admitted, choking on the words. You swallowed against the grip on your throat. 

Joel clicked his teeth, shaking his head. You could tell that he was disappointed in you, it was written all over his face.

He looked down at you through heavy lids, his pupils the size of saucers, the intensity making you shiver. 

“What am I going to do with you, huh?”. 

You ground your hips into his groin, eliciting a clipped groan from him. 

“Fuck me, Joel", there was an edge to your voice, as you rubbed your thighs together to ease the pulsating, “Please, baby. I’m so wet for you”. 

Joel grunted, features neutral as he glared at you. “Fucking is a reward, but you haven’t been good. Have ya, sweetness?”. 

Your body trembled at his harsh tone, hearing the intensity in his voice, how strained it was. 

He continued, “Gonna have to punish you”. You nodded, both ready and willing to accept whatever punishment he dealt. “Get on your knees”. 

You didn’t hesitate, Joel’s grasp releasing you as he stepped back, giving you room as you lowered yourself. When you were situated, you looked up at him, watching as he undid his belt. 

His movements were fluid, smooth, and confident as he dropped the belt to the ground with a dull clang. Buttons were undone, his zipper taunting he pulled it down slowly. Next came his jeans and boxers, shuffling them down his legs, letting them pool at his ankles. 

Joel’s cock sprang free from its constraints, finally. It slapped against his stomach, pre-cum already dribbling out from the tip, making the head glistening in the low light of the room.

You wet your lips, preparing for the breach into your mouth. He reached out, taking hold of your chin, looking down at you with admiration. 

"Don't say I didn't warn 'ya", Joel muttered as he released your chin, taking hold of his cock and fisting it. 

You watched him stroke himself rhythmically, taking his time with it, a low grunt leaving him when he stopped, eyes on you. 

"A little help, darlin'?", Joel asked, his voice stuttering in time with his breathing. And you immediately what he was asking of you. 

You let the saliva in your mouth pool in your cheeks, standing on your knees and letting a glob of spit drop from your mouth, dripping onto his shaft. He smirked at you, a pleased hum rumbling from his throat as he used the lubricant that you provided to continue stroking himself. 

Loud grunting tumbled out of him, beads of sweat dripping down the side of his face. Joel was practically in a cloud of lust as he gripped the back of your neck, pushing your face closer to his lower half.

You opened your mouth, your head in a tizzy as you inhaled his musk; a mix of salty sweat and his natural aroma invading your senses. 

With your mouth open wide he forced his member into your mouth roughly, not giving you a minute to adjust or breathe. His tip hit the back of your throat, causing you to momentarily sputter around him. But he wasn’t deterred, if anything, it only spurred him on more, witnessing you choke down his huge cock.

He demanded more, always more from you. You inhaled deeply through your nose as he continued to stuff his girth further down your throat. 

You unhinged your jaw as wide as you could, opening your throat to take more of him. You hollowed out your cheeks as Joel’s hand snaked back around to fist your hair, guiding your head as he began thrusting his hips savagely.

Your eyes watered from the intensity of his pace, trying to remember to breathe. Your head bobbed up and down his length, interchangeably suckling at the tip. 

"Mmm, you like sucking my cock, hm?”, Joel asked, his voice raspy, “Like choking on it like a good little slut”. 

You hummed around him, satisfied that he was enjoying himself. You used your tongue to bring him even more pleasure, licking a wide strip along the underside of it. Joel bucked his hips faster, yanking your head back and burying himself down your throat, to the hilt.

You gagged, your eyes dispelling the build-up of tears, your lungs burning from the lack of air. 

You could feel your whole body start to simmer, your inhibitions and fleeting anger at Joel withholding your orgasm from you, gone. Now you were only focused on one thing; making him cum. There was an influx of pressure coursing through you.

You wanted more, actually, you needed it. You reached in between your legs, barely touching your clit, the sensation driving you insane, and moaning onto Joel’s cock. His eyes snapped to you, noticing that you were touching yourself. 

"D'you think you deserve to come, sweetness? Hm?", he mocked, watching as your brows furrowed and you massaged your clit harder, "'Cause I don't think so". 

Joel grabbed your arm forcefully, keeping up his unruly tempo on your throat, his balls slapping hard against your chin.

You whined around his cock, feeling the swell of your orgasm just on the outskirts. 

"You've been disobedient, darlin', and we need to correct that", he continued, making you gag on his length, chuckling darkly.  

His jaw was slack, his head falling back as he grunted, feeling your throat acclimate to his size. Accepting that you weren't going to get off anytime soon, you concentrated all of your efforts on him.  

You decided to turn the tables on him, sitting back on your heels and puckering your lips, sliding them up and down his shaft. He groaned above you, his other hand joined the one in your hair, holding on for dear life.

You could feel him twitch in your mouth, signalling that he was close. You picked up your pace, sucking the tip and massaging his balls to bring him to the edge. 

Joel removed you from his length with a pop, saliva dribbling out of your mouth and down your chin, you were positively intoxicated from his cock, under its spell.

Confusion was written all over your face as he pulled back. He fisted his cock, fast strokes faltering as his whole body began to shake. 

"'M gonna cum, sweetness. Where do you want it?", he sighed, gasping for air as his eyes closed. You gaped at him closely, turned on by watching him lose control. 

"Want you to cum on my face", you said, low. 

"Fuck, you can't just say that to me".

Joel pumped his cock harder and it didn't take much before he was unloading his spend onto your face, painting you with his seed. Your eyes fluttered closed, enjoying the warmth of him on your skin.

His groans were deep and throaty as he milked himself of every drop. 

You felt a dollop of his cum run down your cheek, cresting the edge of your mouth. You opened your eyes to see him use his cock to wipe it up, shuffling it into your mouth.

You purred, licking up each drop like the obedient little slut that you were. When your face was clean, you stood up, leading Joel to the bed and straddling his lap. 

"Did I do good?", you asked, blinking up at him sweetly. 

He nodded, "You did so well, sweetness. Now lemme make sure you feel good too".

[hollowsart]

What if I was Doc Ock?

(Acedia used in place of my name)

Spider-Man looks over at Acedia, seeing the state she is in and after hearing her side of the events and seeing the remains of the lab around them. Acedia is wearing pants and a shirt that doesn't appear to be her own. she is exposed and uncomfortable in her posture and how she holds herself. The injuries of bruises and scratches and dust on her form. The tears staining her face, her reddened eyes from her crying and outburst.

And he turns to see Norman, angry and dusting himself off with that same expression on his face that he is always sporting.. but there's something underneath it. Spider-Man can feel it. Norman walks over, his movements reading like this is nothing more than a minor inconvenience, and that he has more important things to busy himself with.

Spider-Man didn't let the man speak.

(Continued below + a ton of extra info. This is VERY LONG, you've been warned)

"Your own worker? Your own employee? You're willing to put your people at such high risks and in such conditions at this? Exposed to all the hazards and more within a lab? The first rule of lab safety is to be properly dressed. Does she look properly dressed to you?" he waves his arms in Acedia's direction. She flinches, rubbing her sore arms and wiping at her face. She winces as she hits a cut, her attention turning away from the other two, brow knitting with concern and annoyance with her own sorry state.

Spider-Man continued.

"Either you never spent a day in a lab yourself to know that, or you just don't care. And I'm really starting to believe it's the latter."

He turns to look at Acedia again, walking up to her, a hand reached out but never touching. "Look, are you alright? Do you need some help getting out of here? I can take you--" Acedia jumps, not expecting the approach. An actuator whipped around him and knocked him away out of reflex.

"AH-- I'M SO SORRY. I.. I-I don't-- I don't know why it did that-- I--?!"

Norman smiles, a small chuckle caught in his throat at the sight. It may not be a success how he wanted, but it appears the arms were a success in other ways.

"You two need to get out of my lab and out of my building before I have the authorities alerted. I need this place cleaned up. Immediately. Oh, and Acedia? You're fired. I'll have your stuff thrown out in the dumpster tonight. We won't be needing it. Goodbye."

Spider-Man groans as he stands up, Acedia gasps and looks over at Norman, shock and offense flashing on her face. Her eyes followed him as he walked casually out the door. Her expression shifted to that of hatred as the tears started to well up again, and her hands clenched tightly. Spider-Man is back at his feet. He clears his throat and speaks up again.

"..Listen, I'm.. I'm so sorry. I guess I should've said something first before..." he trails off a moment, "Will you be alright? Do you need any help? I'd offer a hand, but.. uhm.. it seems you've already got more than plenty." He awkwardly chuckles at his attempt to make light of the current situation. Acedia sniffs, looking him up and down before shakily offering her hand.

"..It's okay. We should.. get out of here. Like he said."

"What about your stuff? You want me to go get it before it's all trashed?"

"..I'm no one special, just an assistant. I don't have much. Nothing of value, anyway.. But you're welcome to." She says, giving him the directions to the lab she was assigned and shared, as well as repeating her name.

"Got it. I'll be out in a jiffy. And hey, everyone's special in their own way."

Acedia can't help the smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem. You should go get some medical help if you can. I'll meet you wherever!" And with a thwip of his web, he's gone.

-------

Prologue to ^that^ and is the initial concept:

I'm not like a proper scientist, but an assistant. I do the testing and help the proper engineers and scientists within the company. However, I got roped by convenience into some stuff by Norman and the fact I was there at the wrong time.

Being too anxious to really speak up for myself and fight back. I just get bossed around despite me not wanting to, but I REALLY don't wanna make a scene cuz that just makes everything worse.

Anyways. One experiment involves the actuators, they don't want to test it on themselves, so they make me wear it cuz I'm just a replaceable assistant, it's sorta my job.

They don't have enough power for the arms and the experiment to work, so they start to boost the power and end up pumping too much that it gets dangerous and I end up getting shocked unconscious as things explode. Unable to actually escape from the arms and the machine area. While unconscious, when everything clears and everyone thinks the whole thing was a failure.. the actuators wake up and start moving the debris and everything away, shifting around and wobbily getting "footing" to lift me from the rubble.

Norman and whoever else was present is surprised that the arms are working just fine. In fact, they're working even better than expected. Norman even boasting that it was all his work and his idea, and while he's saying this, I'm waking up, not moving, but becoming conscious enough to hear the world around me. I hear Norman say something about "removing the body from the arms," and I panic and start to move, flailing as I'm registering that I'm now hanging from the arms off the ground. The arms understand the panic and react.

Something Something Norman gets grabbed and slammed. I'm crying and shouting and trying to tell off Norman for this experiment that nearly could have gotten me killed.

During this, Spiderman comes in and stops me, but he's more understanding with me since I'm clearly deeply upset, and he hears clearly the things I'm saying in my clear distress.

---

Origin:

Assistant who is used more as a means of testing new inventions and products within OsCorp. Happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when Norman "required" me. End up in a somewhat more secure lab within the company building that I had no idea about. Get told I need to change due to my shirt and lab coat getting in the way, get given an open back tank top instead (I feel extremely uncomfortable and exposed). Get told to get up on the platform, and I'll be fitted for the testing. They keep wording and phrasing things in a way to try and coerce me into going along. Not enough power, pumps too much power, big explosion with electricity. I'm still alive, the arms are now very much active, Norman assumes I'm dead and gives word to the others in the room to clean up and to remove me from the harness. Big freak out and outburst against Norman, putting my foot down and telling him off. This leads to Spiderman's intervention. He comes in to hear me out and get an understanding of the situation. Clearly, one side is very much in the wrong here, and it sure as heck isn't the very much upset and injured exposed woman. Not really much happens here. Get fired and told to leave. At least make some level of "friend" with Spiderman.

Follow-up:

A strange package shows up at my apartment from OsCorp. Weird goggles are inside, and I'm highly suspicious and skeptical... but also a little stupid and can't resist seeing what I look like in funny eyewear. Bing bang boom, I am now hanging off the sides of buildings screaming and crying and unable to do anything as the actuators have gone rogue and my head keeps turning on its own and it's causing my anxiety and fear to skyrocket. The actuators are causing a lot of chaos and destruction, which soon enough alerts Spiderman into showing himself. The Goggles lock onto him, and the actuators take off to attack. A long struggle on Spiderman's side ensues. He sees how distressed I am and does his best to try and get through to me so I can think and potentially do SOMETHING to stop this. He brings up the goggles when I mention how it hurts amidst my sobbing and suggests removing the goggles. I do that despite how much it hurts because I'm so tired and fed up already with this. The goggles get removed and tossed away, which causes the arms to go erratic instead of being locked onto Spiderman. This allows him to be able to successfully stop what's happening. The chip, which was found to be the source of the actuators going haywire, is also eventually discovered afterward and removed. Norman was likely at fault here once again, but with that gone, he won't be making trouble anymore.

The final thing would be like..

I get befriended and picked up into a band of other people who have more of a criminal record than me, and we create the Sinister Six. I'm the ideas department offering ideas and advice for everyone as a whole or individually.

All of this works with how I am irl, but I do still end up being deemed a "villain" tho I don't really do much that's actively villainous. I'm just a victim of circumstances.

"Master Planner" ends up being more my occupation since I do have a lot of ideas to offer everyone else. (I am no Otto Octavius fjsvsjfg)

[discordantwritings]

Rock Hard (Rock Band! Cross Guild x Reader)

Part 2. The Vocalist

Prelude // The Vocalist // The Guitarist // The Drummer

Warnings: afab gn!reader, facesitting, PiV sex, slightly subby Buggy, I know the title says cross guild but this part is just Buggy

WC: 2.4k

Summary: You will not fall to the clown’s charms you will not fall to the clown’s charms you will not-

Oh shit you fell for the clown’s charms.

Notes: Finally found an excuse to write facesitting lets goooooo

You were less of a manager to Buggy and more of a babysitter. If you could get away with getting him one of those child backpack leashes you would. Within a week you got the passwords to all his social media so you could stop him from posting dumb shit like “I wish my dick could detach” and “I could fist fight The Rock and win, give me a date and time”. It was exhausting. Hilarious, but exhausting.

It would be worse if he wasn’t so damn charming. Ever time you find yourself getting mad at him he would grovel and bat his frustratingly perfect eyelashes at you and all the anger you have fizzles out. It was a game you played- Buggy tested your limits and then you reigned him in before he could do any lasting damage. You’d get mad, he’d get cute, and then you went back to the beginning.

It would be worse if he didn’t do such good work. Buggy was the only band member you could get to do any sort of press (Crocodile and Mihawk claimed that that was what Buggy was there for, so they didn’t have to talk to the public) so you had to lean on him heavily for public relations. It turned out not to be a problem though because he could charm just about anyone. Even the most cynical of interviewers would be at least softened by Buggy’s crazy stories and silly jokes by the end of their time.

And that’s what you’re watching now at The Cross Guild office. You got this interview on the the interviewers misguided thought that he could run into Crocodile or Mihawk. Jokes on him, you planned this for a day neither of them were in the office. Because of that the interviewer came into the set annoyed, and Buggy shot you a look from where he was sat. You shrug and give him a thumbs up as the cameras begin to roll.

Watching him turn on the charm was mesmerizing. The way he leans in towards the interviewer and smiles, the way he never backs down from a question or accusation, the silly physical gags he manages to weave into a normal conversation, it’s all so impressive. After about an hour the production finally wraps up and Buggy bounds over to you.

“He was an ass.” He whispers to you and you nudge him on the shoulder.

“Can’t you wait a few minutes.” You eye the interviewer who is still in the room.

“Can we just go back to my office and debrief or whatever so I can go home?” Buggy says in almost a whine.

“Yeah, yeah.” You follow behind him through the hallways until you get to his office.

Gaudy is the best word to describe his office, right next to messy and a fire hazard. No piece of furniture is the same color and various rugs and discarded clothes cover the floor. You’re bound to trip over something before you leave but for now you find your way safely to a chair to go over the events of today and what’s on the schedule for tomorrow.

“So we did three interviews today, tomorrow we have a meet and greet and then a radio show. And then-“ You look up to see Buggy on his neon green couch and on his phone. “You’re not listening to me.”

“No I am!” He says, not looking up from his phone.

“Then what’s on the docket tomorrow?”

“… more talking.” He clicks his phone off, knowing he’s been caught.

“Look, seriously I just need five more minutes of your attention and then you can do whatever. You’ve knocked it out of the park today, so I just need to keep that going until this press wave is over.”

Buggy pauses and smiles wide. “I knocked it out of the park?”

You sigh. It was hard giving Buggy any kind of praise, the way it went straight to his head. But you felt bad for the way his fellow band members treated him- like he had no redeeming qualities. “You did good today Buggy.”

He stands up and walks over to you holding out a hand, indicating for you to stand up. Confused but curious you do, and are pulled up close to him. “Now see, if you just kept telling me how good of a job I’ve been doing I’d pay attention all the time.”

You did your best not to react at how close you are to him- keeping your breath even and hoping there was no flush to your cheeks. “But then it would all get to your head and I might have to knock you down a few pegs.”

“I don’t know about you- but that sounds like fun to me.” One of Buggy’s hands skirts over your hip while he gets somehow impossibly closer to you.

“Buggy.” You say sternly, a warning.

“What?” He stops moving, one eyebrow raised.

“I know playing around is fun for you, and you’re not serious, but nothing even close to this can happen.”

“And what is this?” He’s clearly feigning ignorance and you put your hand on his chest and push.

“Nothing.” The word comes out a bit more hurt than you would have liked it to sound. Of course Buggy picks up on it.

“It doesn’t have to be nothing. I know you say I’m not serious but-“ He opens his arms. “I like you.”

“You like a lot of people.” You fire back, jabbing your pointer finger into his chest.

“Maybe that’s true. But c’mon we could have so much fun together.” He steps back closer, your finger digging deeper. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

Embarrassment quickly colors your features as he hits the truth right on the head. Of course you’ve thought about it. The way he looks at you, the charm he has, his voice, the way you quickly counted him as your friend here. You really wondered what that stupid mouth could do but admitting that you fantasized about him? “No.”

“You’re an awful liar.” Buggy calls you out, brushing an errant hair behind your ear. “Now c’mon, I’ll even let you knock me down a few pegs.”

It was an awful idea. The worst idea you’ve even considered. You could tell Buggy no one more time and you know he’d respect your choice. But both of you know your heart isn’t in your reflections. Kissing him, doing anything with him as a bad idea.

So of course you grab him by his shirt collar and pull him in for a kiss. He’s shocked for a second- like he can’t believe all that stuff he said actually worked- but quickly melts into the kiss. His hands find your hips and he pulls you flush to him as he tries to take control. But you’re not going to let him win that easy.

You walk forward, forcing him to take steps back until his legs hit the couch. You finally break away from the kiss, panting and grinning wide. Placing your hand on his chest you lightly push and Buggy gets the message, sitting down and letting you crawl onto his lap. He looks up at you, eyes wide and pupils dilated and you want to ruin him.

You kiss him again, aggressive and greedy as your hands hold onto his shoulders for balance. Buggy’s hands, still at your hips, pull you down so he can grind up into you. You gasp as you feel Buggy’s hardness against you through layers of clothing. Bringing your mouth down you kiss along his neck as he continues to grind up into you, small whines leaving his chest.

You lose yourself for a while, switching between his neck and mouth while you grind against each other like horny teenagers. But it’s not enough and you’re starting to get a bit frustrated.

“Hey Bug.” You bite at his earlobe.

“Yeah?” He whispers.

“Wanna be knocked down a peg still?” Your hands travel his chest as he nods furiously. You stand up and Buggy is clearly disappointed but you motion to the floor. “Lay on your back for me?” You ask sweetly, undoing the buttons on your pants.

You barely finish your sentence before he’s eagerly sliding off the couch and onto the ground exactly like you asked. He props himself up by his elbows though to watch you, and you decide to give him a good show. You face him as you unzip your zipper and grab at your waistband but then turn around and bend over slightly as you drag them down over your ass and legs. You can’t see Buggy’s face but you can hear him groan as your pants and panties are taken down in one motion. Turning back you step out of your pants and get on your knees over him, straddling his chest.

“Can I sit on your face?” You ask sweetly, smiling down at him.

Buggy’s pupils are blown out, almost none of that bright sea green remain. He doesn’t say anything, he just grabs your thighs and pulls you up closer to his face. You can’t help but chuckle as you help him out, sitting up on your knees as you position yourself right over him.

“Fuck- I mean- goddamn-“ Buggy curses and you wish you could still see his face. “Please cmon just sit baby-“

Not wanting to wait either you lower yourself and the second you so Buggy dives in. There’s nothing neat or slow or thought out about the way Buggy eats you out but fuck if it isn’t good. His tongue works its way inside you quickly as his hands dig into your thighs. As he haphazardly goes between fucking you with his tongue and sucking on your clit you have to lean forward and use the couch for balance. You start to get dizzy with pleasure and end up focusing a lot of your energy on staying up and not actually sitting on Buggy, which he seems to notice.

He breaks away from you and you whine but hear his voice. “Just sit on me baby- I’ll be fine please cmon-“

He sounds just as dazed as you and the lust and whine in his voice make you relent, fully relaxing and focusing on the pleasure he was giving you. As his tongue finds your entrance again you grind down, rubbing your clit against his nose. Your moans fills the room as you chase your pleasure and use his face to get yourself off. While one hand stays on the couch to keep you balanced the other goes to Buggy’s head, gripping his hair and tugging.

“‘M close Bug-“ You manage through gasps.

Buggy doesn’t let up- one of his hands comes down to join his tongue inside you, filling you up more while you grind on him. The edges of your vision go white as your orgasm flood over you, slick gushing onto Buggy’s face as you ride it out. When the high is over you slide yourself off of his face and lay down next to him. As you do you see that Buggy’s hand is shoved down his pants and he’s grinding up into his palm.

“Fuck- you been getting off on eating me out?” Your voice is breathy and needy.

“Fucking of course.” He says and you finally get a good look at his face- slick from your juices and completely fucked out. You can’t help but capture his lips in another needy kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. Snaking your own hand down you grab his wrist, gently pulling it out of his pants. He whines but you quickly shush him.

“Need you inside me- now.” You plead and Buggy wastes no time.

He sits up and shoves his pants down while you get on all fours in front of him. He growls when he sees you presented for him like this, one hand going to your hip while the other grabs his length so he can line himself up. He drags his tip through your folds, gagging up your wetness and teasing you.

“Buggy-“ You tried to be annoyed but your voice just comes out like a whine.

“Alright, alright.” Buggy finally presses into you, stretching you out as you both groan.

He takes his time, letting you adjust as he sinks into you and holds himself still for a few seconds when he bottoms out, waiting for your breathing to level out. But after that all of his patience ends. His hands grip your hips tight as he repeatedly slams into you, hitting you deep every time. You try to meet him half way, thrusting your own hips but one of Buggy’s hands leaves you hips and goes to the small of your back and pushes down- he starts hitting spots you didn’t know existed and you give into him.

You know he’s not going to last long from the way his thrusts are already stuttering- but you’re not far behind, already sensitive from the orgasm he gave you not minutes ago. He must know you’re close too, the hand on your hip leaves and travels downwards towards your clit.

“C’mon I want to feel you come all over my cock please baby-“ He babbles as his fingers work on your clit driving you closer and closer.

With one final thrust and his pleads in your ear you cum again, walls contracting around his cock and squeezing him tight. You let your front half fall to the ground as Buggy pulls out just in time to paint your folds and ass with his cum. You both sit breathless for a few moments, regaining the ability to think.

“I can’t say I feel knocked down in any sense.” Buggy comments from behind you and you whip around and hit him on the shoulder.

“Really that’s what you’re going to say?” You want to sound angry but you can’t help but laugh at his stupid grin.

“It could have been a lot worse?” Buggy offers and you just roll your eyes and loop your arms around his shoulders.

“Look- that was-“ You almost give him a compliment but think better of it. “You cannot tell anyone. Seriously.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it!” Buggy’s arms wrap around your midsection and he pulls you in. “Seriously, I think Crocodile and Mihawk would actually literally kill me.”

Yeah.

He’s probably right.

[meidui]

firefighter steve fics 🚒👨‍🚒

Rescue by @darthbloodorange

Captain Rogers is trapped within a burning building. Iron Man comes to the rescue.

Dr. Stark & Mr. September by @betheflame

Tony Stark, son of the Governor of Massachusetts, is in his lab at MIT when it suddenly... well, explodes. He's saved by a human Dorito, who disappears as soon as Tony is safely at the hospital. He launches a quest to get the dude's number, but it's proving as difficult as Cinderella's shoe.

Steve Rogers is fresh outta the closet and not looking for anything even remotely resembling a relationship, so the infamous king of one-night stands sounds like a great conquest.

It's going to go super well for both of them.

Stop, Drop, and Roll in the Hay by @ashes0909 @festiveferret

All Steve's expecting when he goes to Stark's midtown penthouse is to complete a fire safety inspection, sign some forms, and maybe get a peek at the extravagance Stark is so known for.

He gets a little more than a peek, and so does Stark.

nobody saves me, baby (the way you do) by @meidui @samcky

Steve fights fires and rescues kittens for a living these days because of course he does; of course that man doesn’t know how to properly retire. So now Steve has his firefighting career and Tony has a new complication in his long, winding relationship with Steve after parting ways without so much as a handshake.

How To Save A Life by @finduilasclln

Steve is a firefighter with a tendency to get hurt on the job. Tony is the ER doctor that has to treat Steve. Need I say more?

The Hazards of Falling in Love (Rescue Me) by @emmalostinwonderland

Tony Stark doesn't date firemen. But he'll make an exception for Battalion Chief Steve Rogers.

the test of gold by @hollyandvice

At Tony's insistence, he and Rhodey volunteer to help out at a firefighter rescue/first aid training session. They meet Steve, Bucky, and Pepper there. Meet-cutes ensue.

Pencil Shavings and Ashen Boots by @nativemossy

Mr. Stark invites the local firehouse crew to spend the afternoon with his class. He really wasn't expecting the Captain to be as handsome and charming as he turned out to be.

I'm Burnin' (For You) by @laudatenium

Steve is a wildland firefighter in Grand Sequoia National Park. Tony is Tony.

[tauforged]

got any tips for beginner aquarists? :O

any advice i’d give is highly dependent on what you’re looking to accomplish — all fish are very different and have different needs! however in all my years working in the aquatics department at a pet store, i’ve found that water quality can be hard to grasp for some people — understandably so, it can get complicated, but it’s very important for the health of your fish. here’s some of the important stuff that i learned the hard way so you don’t have to!

- FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. DECHLORINATE YOUR WATER!!! seachem prime is the most concentrated dechlorinator you’ll find at most stores at 2 drops per gallon, and it lasts a good while. it’s got a strong sulfur smell to it in the bottle, but unless you massively overdose it you won’t smell it in your tank. the #1 mistake people make is not dechlorinating their tap water before filling a tank or doing a water change, and it sucks because it’s such an easy fix but can totally wipe a tank. always pre treat your water!!

- if you’re going to be using tap water, consider testing your water’s pH at the very least so you know what you’re working with. pH is integral to the health of aquatic animals down to a cellular level — if your pH is too high or too low, it doesn’t matter if you’re doing everything else right. keep an eye on that shit.

- if you need to adjust it, look into more natural ways to do so rather than bottled pH booster or reducers (sometimes chemical additives can react with eachother in funky ways). to raise your pH, put a mesh baggie of something like crushed coral sand in your filter. to lower it, look into driftwood that leeches tannins - it’ll turn your water a bit brownish, but that’s okay. in fact, a lot of fish in the hobby naturally come from waters thatre tannin-y, and will be quite alright with things a little murky!

- if you can’t use your tap water for whatever reason, bottled spring water is next best. distilled is really only good for topping off after water has evaporated, but it lacks a lot of minerals thatre important for your fish’s health, so don’t JUST use distilled.

- the larger a volume of water you’re working with, the more forgiving the entire tank system will be. i usually don’t recommend going smaller than ten gallons for your first tank — maybe a 20long or 29 if you want lots of options. you can definitely make tank volumes smaller than ten gallons work (i’ve got a planted low tech 3gal that’s been going strong for quite some time now) but it’s generally a lot more finicky and will be much easier for a mistake to snowball into an emergency

- filters are good! please use a filter on your tank. in general every tank should have a mechanical filter for water movement and to help maintain good bacteria (more on that in a bit), an airline bubbler to help keep the water moving and make sure it’s oxygenated, and a heater because most fish in the hobby are tropical and like things toasty.

- make sure you get a heater with a built in thermostat that will shut off if it gets too hot, ideally one that you can adjust instead of a pre-programmed one. they’re a bit pricy at box stores because they’re the ‘advanced’ option, but hygger is a solid brand and you can get a really nice one of theirs with a temp control dial on amazon for like 20$.

- PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER LEAVE YOUR HEATER PLUGGED IN WHILE ITS OUT OF THE WATER!!! it will overheat and break and is also a fire hazard. i recently had my water level on my reef tank drop due to a pump malfunction and the heater was SMOKING when i got home from work and found it. it will also make your heater thoroughly nonfunctional, and replacing them is a pain. most have a minimum waterline marked, make sure you pay attention to that. unplug it during tank maintenance if you’re worried about it not being fully submerged.

- you’re going to want to be patient. while you COULD fill a tank with water and then plop fish into it the next day, you’re not going to be as successful as if you’d aged the tank a bit and allowed a biofilter to establish itself . i recommend doing some research about the nitrogen cycle and nitrifying bacteria, but the long and short of it is as follows:

— biological waste (fish poop, uneaten food, dropped plant leaves if you have live plants) in your tank produces ammonia. ammonia is highly toxic to fish even in small amounts, so you want this to be as close to 0 as possible.

— there are certain bacteria that will process ammonia into NITRITES. nitrites are still not great to have a lot of, but are much less toxic than ammonia.

— there are OTHER bacteria that will then take those nitrites and turn them into NITRATES. nitrates are the least toxic of the three, and so your end goal is to establish a healthy population of these various bacteria so that any available ammonia is quickly processed into nitrite, which then becomes nitrate. nitrate can only be removed from the system via a water change, but some is absorbed by plants as well. you still definitely want to do water changes even in a well planted tank.

- there are lots of different ways to introduce these bacteria populations to your tank and establish a biofilter. bear in mind that you want to treat your biofilter like any other living thing, so make sure things like temperature and pH stay as consistent and stable as possible. ideally, you want to decide what sort of fish you’d like to keep and then figure out what their preferred ranges are, and then keep your tank at that for the entire bioseeding process

- if you want to do it au naturale, these bacteria will colonize any body of dechlorinated freshwater if given enough time. you want to add a source of ammonia (some people will buy cheap feeder fish and put them in there, but i find that a bit unfair to the fish as if it doesn’t go smoothly they could suffer from ammonia burns or other health issues. plus, it could introduce all sorts of parasites and pathogens to your tank that can be a pain to clean out without hurting your bacteria) . the safest and cheapest way is to ‘feed’ your tank with little bits of fish food every now and then

- either invest in a test kit, or find a fish store that can test for you. chain stores like petco or petsmart offer testing, but they use the cheap strip tests that are probably the least accurate. they’re mostly good for telling you ‘yup, ammonia is there’ but not actually indicating if it’s decreasing over time or not. do some digging to see if there’s any local fish stores in your area that can test for you, and ask what methods they use. chemical tests are good for giving a ballpark and generally the highest quality the average hobbyist will get. i use a spectrophotometer at work so i’m spoiled LMFAO but you don’t need all that

- you want to see an initial spike in ammonia, which will then start to go down. you don’t want it to go down TOO much and starve your bacteria, so keep feeding your tank as this happens. eventually, you’ll also see a nitrite spike — this is good! this means the first group of bacteria are here and working hard. once the nitrites start decreasing you will hopefully see nitrates start to go up, and then congrats, your tank has a biofilter!! you can start adding animals now, although make sure you don’t have too much leftover ammonia or yucky food on the bottom first. i would start small — nerite snails are the roombas of the freshwater aquarium world, so you’ll want a couple anyway. add these first. if they’re still chillin after about a week, you’re good to proceed.

- this process can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. the longer you wait, the more well established and stable your tank will be.

- you CAN buy bottled bacteria to speed this process up a bit — your success may vary. most of the stuff you’ll find on shelves at a pet store likely isn’t alive anymore, but it doesn’t hurt to add because even if the bacteria are dead, you’re still adding waste material to help kickstart your cycle. the brand i’ve had the best luck with (and that we use for bioseeding systems at the aquarium i work at) is dr tim’s. not sure how many stores carry it, but you can find it online easily. there’s freshwater and saltwater versions, make sure you get the right one.

- even if you’re adding bottled bacteria, i would still let the tank run empty for a couple weeks. this lets you make sure all your equipment runs well and lets you play around with decor or lighting without stressing any fish out.

- when adding animals to your tank, do so gradually to avoid overloading your biofilter with ammonia. how gradually depends on tank size, but it’s always better to be more cautious than not.

- information about the hobby in general varies in quality depending on where you get it — so seek information from as many sources as possible! look through forums! read articles! ask the guy at your local fish store! ask another guy at a different fish store! don’t take any one source as fact, but bear in mind that not everyone may be right. the more opportunities you take to learn, the faster your knowledge base will grow and the easier it will get.

- tank size is its own beast, but my rule of thumb has always been that there’s never any such thing as giving a fish TOO MUCH space, but there’s absolutely such thing as not giving them enough. a betta fish, for example, can SURVIVD in 1-3 gallons of water… but will absolutely thrive in 10-20. in general, take a recommended tank size for any species as the bare minimum if anything.

- most of all, don’t be afraid to make mistakes! it happens to everyone, and it’s part of learning. anyone who tries to make you feel bad for not knowing something is just being rude. if you’re willing to learn, that’s the most important thing!

- pet store employees usually aren’t experts, but they’ve got questions they’re obligated to ask before they sell you an animal. if they deny you a sale due to tank size or something like that, don’t argue with them. they’re not judging you personally, they’re just doing their job. if you absolutely must lie to them to get them to give you the fish, at least be consistent with it. nobody ever likes having to go ‘well actually…’ halfway through scooping a half dozen fish because you let slip that you only have a ten gallon after insisting you have a 40.

- unless you have a pond or space for several hundred gallons of tank, stay away from goldfish. they’re adorable, i know, but they’re carp. they get big. they live a long time. they poop so much. they aren’t worth the hassle for most people.

- please never ever release fish you don’t want into the wild. if a pet store won’t take them for whatever reason, that sucks, but it’s on you. we don’t need any more invasive species. please

- please don’t flush fish that are still alive. if you absolutely must euthanize a fish, look into how to do so humanely (yes, people do this, and yes, there’s a right and a wrong way to do it)

[zeldahime]

Highway to Pail Day 13

[Day 1] [Prev] [Next] @do-it-with-style-events

February 13: How do you turn a demon into an angel? Scare the hell out of them.

If you asked if Crowley feared Hell, he'd figure you were an evangelical Christian and give you the fright of your life by saying something like "Hell? Hell is empty. All the devils are here," then turning his head into a snake. Yes, Crowley knew that line was from one of Boring Bill's plays and not even a funny one, but he'd told Aziraphale he'd fed Bill that line in a bar in 1610 and had stuck to that story ever since. (Aziraphale knew better, because dear old William had tested that line on him in 1607, but he also thought Crowley was ever so charming when he was lying and so had never called him on it.)

If Aziraphale had asked him, Crowley would tell him he really wasn't that scared of Hell, honestly. Not to say he enjoyed the place, but you knew what to expect from them, knew where you stood. He knew how they monitored him and that they didn't usually bother with it; he knew more or less what punishments which Dukes and Princes liked to inflict on their underlings and how best to avoid them. He'd tell Aziraphale, honestly he'd been more scared in Heaven towards the end there, watching his friends Fall and suddenly knowing Her love was conditional, and he'd know Aziraphale would understand the depth of that fear because Aziraphale had watched him Fall. It would be meant as a reassurance. Aziraphale, who had been fearful in Heaven long before the Fall and the War and to whom the Fall was actually a perverse relief—so he hadn't been worried about nothing, so his anxiety was rational—would not be reassured.

Crowley would be lying, but don't hold it against him: he wouldn't realize it, which is the scariest part.

In reality, he was terrified of Hell.

He'd been scared of Hell for so long it formed the foundation for most of his actions and thoughts, and much like you don't ever think about what kind of foundation your house is built on, Crowley just didn't think about it very much. For example: he kept an insurance policy because Hell was dog-eat-dog, or demon-eat-demon, and anyone who caught him with Aziraphale would come after them like that Frou-Frou guy had and he needed a way to defend himself. Clear, logical, no emotions involved in this reasoning really as far as he was concerned. He did not follow this train of motivations any further. If he'd gotten off just one stop further down the line, he'd have noticed that the reason he needed a way to defend himself was because punishment is unpleasant and he didn't want to deal with that, and another stop might have suggested, so, one of your motivations here, if you'd please let me finish speaking sir, might be fear of punishment?

Crowley rarely took trains of thought all the way to the end of the line, and so very rarely did he ever actually think about being scared. He sometimes considered how much things would hurt if he got caught, weighed it in a pros and cons list, but never connected that thought to fear of getting caught.

The lead-up to the Apocalypse was different. Things he didn't even know he could be scared of kept popping up, like a really unpleasant random jack-in-the-box. He was scared when Warlock was little and threw a fit, certain he'd say something like "I hate you Nanny! I wish you'd never existed!" and he'd be wiped from reality. He was scared when he was waiting for a hellhound at a birthday party and scared when it no-showed.

He was scared when he saw the bookshop on fire, no Aziraphale in sight. He had never even thought of the possibility of the bookshop catching on fire, not really. It'd been a joke, calling the place a fire hazard or a death trap to rile Aziraphale up a bit when he was tipsy. He'd known down to his bones that Aziraphale would never let his books burn.

It wasn't until the night after the first day of the rest of their lives that Crowley realized just how scared he was, and as soon as he realized he'd had that thought, he'd buried it as deeply as he could.

Because that night, he'd dreamed of Heaven for the first time.

Maybe it was because of the switcheroo they'd pulled, going up to Heaven in Aziraphale's corporation. Maybe it triggered some memories, or something. Heaven yesterday hadn't been anything like Heaven had been Before. Before, it had been full of warmth, and other angels, and the Light of God, not a cold empty office space ripped directly from a skyscraper in New Jersey. He'd spent most of his time in the firmament back then, but he'd thought of Heaven as home, a safe place to come back to, where he could talk to his pals and play games and rest. It had already begun shifting away from that long before the Fall, of course, but it had gotten so much worse since.

On the very first night of the rest of his life, Crowley's dream was his earliest memory. God had called his Name, the one he'd have ripped away from him when he Fell, and he had sprung into existence with Love in his heart. Another angel had called to him and told him about stars and nebulae and the Grand Design and Crowley had Loved them, in awe of these things they described. It was so simple. He dreamed of other times in the Before, conversations with other angels about what if we did it this way, or changed that. A conversation where he wondered why the stars would be so far away from the humans, why they would be extinguished so soon when they could burn for billions upon billions of years. He remembered curiosity, friendship, play, all free and unfiltered and simple.

He remembered the first time he felt fear, when Lucifer said that other angels disagreed with them and there was going to be a fight, and explained what a fight was.

And then he woke up, and he realized he was deeply afraid, and had been for most of his existence. This was very unpleasant, and changed absolutely nothing except making him skittish at exactly the time he could most benefit from the habitual recklessness he'd begun to nourish over the last few centuries.

It didn't even change what he'd tell Aziraphale if Aziraphale had asked the question, as described above, because whether or not he was telling the truth was pretty much unimportant, he'd think; the important part would be reassuring Aziraphale, since the angel was much more emotionally fragile that he was.

Aziraphale had known all along, of course, which is why he'd never asked. Some things were best left unaddressed, in his opinion. Crowley seemed to have it well in hand, dealing with his eternal fear in a healthier way than Aziraphale's own anxious paranoia, so often overcoming it to be braver than Aziraphale could ever be.

They were, of course, both totally wrong.

[ddejavvu]

hello!! kinda holiday request i guess??? but like reader and eddie baking cookies together and reader having to like hold eddie's hand through it so he doesn't burn down the house??? and just like really fluffy and maybe when the cookies are done, wayne comes home and is like "wow these cookies are good!" and eddie's all proud like "I helped make them!" and wayne's like wide eyes, scared but you make eye contact w him behind eddie and like reassure him that it wasn't JUST eddie, you helped (or practically did it all yourself but didn't wanna take any pride and joy away from the poor sweet baby angel)

Overall, you'd consider your cookie baking day a success. You'd been plenty apprehensive at first, when Eddie had tried setting the oven to 800 degrees, so that the cookies would bake twice as fast. But with supervision (and a few close calls), the sheet tray that comes out of the oven holds a dozen beautiful soft sugar cookies. There's christmas tree designs in the dough, a green cutout that had come in the tube. One on the bottom left is misshapen, and Eddie peels it off of the tray.

"Quality control," He mumbles through a mouth of searing hot cookie, "Fuck! 'Burnt my tongue."

You bite back an 'i told you so', letting him take a swig of water from a cup on the counter.

"These," You section off four of the cookies, "Are for Wayne." Then you split up the other seven into halves, three for Eddie and four for you, "And these are for us."

"Wayne doesn't need four," Eddie insists, reaching for two from his pile, "I need six."

"Eddie Munson," You reach out with your spatula, smacking his hand away from his uncle's treats, "Don't you dare! I promised Wayne he'd get his fair share because it was the only way he'd let me use your oven."

"It's the only way he'd let me use our oven," Eddie reminds you, and although it's derogatory towards him, he says it like a boast, "I had to call the fire department last time."

Wayne had told the same story to you when you'd proposed baking, fire in his eyes as he recounted the one that Eddie had lit on their stovetop. How he'd charred onions, you'd never know.

"You're a hazard in the kitchen," You bump Eddie away from the stove with your hip, "Your hair gets in everything and you touch all of the hot surfaces."

There's a band-aid on his hand to prove it.

"Hey," He scoffs, "At least the cookies are good."

You test out that theory for yourself, munching on the soft dough. It's melting in your mouth as soon as it hits your tongue, and you hum in satisfaction just as the door opens.

"Hey dad," Eddie glances over his shoulder at Wayne, "There's cookies here for you."

"So the danger has passed?" He raises an eyebrow, reaching for a christmas tree from the sheet pan, "She must not have let you in the kitchen, boy."

"Actually," Eddie scarfs down the last of his own cookie, crumbs flying from his lips to his shirt as he speaks, "I made 'em. All by myself."

Wayne's halfway through his first bite, and after Eddie's bragging, isn't sure he wants it anymore. His eyes widen and his jaw goes slack, but before he can spit the cookie out into the sink you pop up behind Eddie, swiping frantically with a hand perpendicular to your neck. His eyes flit to your own and you hold up the spatula, then point vigorously to yourself.

Wayne seems to get the message: I helped. They're not poison.

[were-wolverine]

percy jackson ep2 live reaction

annabeth being a little creep i love her

fun fact i learned at the pjo NYCC panel: the most grueling part of the show production was making the camp half-blood shirts. they all had to be a specific shade of orange and there had to be a LOT cuz all the campers wear them consistently

very much angsty tween energy

ITS SOOO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY

i love the big house’s design

grover’s little *clop clop clop* hehe

“your highness” book!percy wouldn’t be caught dead saying that shit but it’s still funny cuz i KNOW as soon as he learns more abt the gods all that respect is out the window. book!percy is just a little asshole from the start

Mr D is fucking perfect casting

godDAMN chiron is tall asf

also i fr did not know brunner was pronounced like that

mr d actually being kinda nice to grover??

ITS SO COOL I WANNA GO TO CAMP THERE

riptide my bbg

i need a close up of the inside and outside of all the cabins immediately

Hermes cabin 💪💪💪

there’s a fire pit IN the cabin?? that seems like a hazard. but also magic and it’s fucking cool so

the complete non-reaction to percy’s introduction now vs how people will eventually react to hearing his name is kinda wild

they really did not give this poor boy any time to grieve his mom huh

LUKE

poor percy, his first reaction to being approached is to be defensive :(

CHB necklace!!!!

o shit that scared me. hello wood nymph. is this his mom??? idk how satyrs are born

the tiger shirt 💀

LIKE AN OLD BANANA HGHDGDGDGD

grover :( ur a good friend bb

dream time woooooo. OH THE VOICE IS KRONOS i forgor

“glory” ok nerd

luke really has a whole posse following him around lmao

IS THAT THE LESBIAN FLAG ON CLARISSE’S NECKLACE???

nvm they all have them in that order….

i love that percy has just had that leather necklace from the very start of the show. in preparation for the camp beads :,)

aaaaaaaa a character in a wheelchair that’s so cool!!!!!

no one’s even gonna show him how to use the bow???

this boy is gonna destroy the camp i love him

BRO DID NOT GET THE JOKE AND I FEEL SO SEEN. YES THERES A GREEK GOD OF DISAPPOINTMENT

oh my god i’m gonna cry. percy praying to sally is my favorite change they made in the whole show

“like, real friends” crying luke how dare you betray this sweet darling boy

YOU TELL HIM PERCY!! get his ass

“hey guys! 😃 🤚 can’t sleep huh?” ilysm percy

“do you think you’re special?” oh boy clarisse do you have a big surprise coming. also percy didn’t even tell anyone abt the minotaur that was grover

okay i liked this cgi way better than nancy bobofit’s takedown

annabeth stalker behavior i love you. SHE ADMITS IT TOO I LOVE HERRRE

“annabeth sees the world differently” yeah she’s autistic with a genius iq

sobbing. “she’s my little sister”. pain. the betrayal is gonna hurt so much more

th-alia ??? hm

“until zeus broke the pact” hades, hiding his kids from the 1940s in the lotus hotel: yeah zeus was the one to break it first, obviously

i can’t wait to see who they cast as thalia

“let it rip” i see what you did there 👀 my mind went right to beyblade tho lol

their shields lowkey look like the nightwing symbol :3

SUNSHINE ADDSHFJFHDG

god this set is so fucking cool

cringefail loserboy rizz

THE HAT!!!!!!!!!!!

“he’ll be ready, i know it” *cuts to percy flossing* i love this dumbass so much

lizard :D

exceptional depiction of adhd ty rick

bro really just gave away the location of the flag with no hesitation lol

OH SHIT THAT WAS COOL! the roll into picking up the shield? smooth asf!!!

how tf did the spear even break isn’t it made of like magic metal

she really used him as bait lmao. *pushes him into the water* she’s just testing a hypothesis!!

holy shit the cabin is so cool. kinda spooky tho. i hate to say it but i like the movie version better

“what 😃”

damn they really just blame everything on hades huh. poor guy. i’d hate my siblings too if they gave me a shitty job and made me the scapegoat for a bunch of stuff

why tf is chiron wearing a suit. why.

“i’m sally jackson’s son” YES YOU ARE KING

grover you’re the best ily. chiron you’re giving way too much dumbledore energy i hate it

[thelampisaflashlight]

Ghost hunting show where one of the team members clearly grew up in a messed up situation/shitty old house, so every time something paranormal happens, they're just like, "Yeah, nah, that's mice. You have mice in the walls. Yeah, they can climb. Nah, they just need a fourth of an inch hole and you've got mice, dude." or, "Aesthetic be damned, you should get new doorknobs, because if these don't latch right, you could have someone walk in your house, or, Hell, if there's a fire, you won't be able to cut it off properly. It's a hazard."

"Yeah, that's probably a loose wire. I know it's a new build, but people fuck up all the time and cut corners, knew a person who was doing reno work and found a nail through a wire. Floorboards could be pressing on it, also when was the last time you got your well tested?"

"Your cabinets have a magnetic latch? Pressure changes can shift the door enough to pop it out of place just enough to make it swing open. Or it's a shitty magnet... do you have cats? It could be the cats."

[titanicfreija]

Squirrelly

Thomas watched his young roommate pace, mentally calculating how much heat she was generating by the change in temperature as she moved toward and away.

So far, neither Ghost nor Guardian noticed the pattern. Thomas, home and audience every time, couldn't miss it.

It was always the crucible. She would go in too hard, drain herself until she could hardly remember how to breathe, then come home and build back up.

~

Once she recovered, she struggled to get her momentum back. Sometimes it was discouragement, sometimes it was anxiety, but she would freeze up and stay home.

Freija home with the crucible calling would put her in a state Thomas referred to as "squirrely", where she was hypervigilant and ready to run, and in this particular Sunbreaker's case, feverish in the way a volcano coming out of dormancy might be. She'd escalate until someone could give her enough of a kick to just go.

This run took two recovery days before the buildup started, and Day Three of the buildup had Thomas wondering how much of their apartment was heat-resistant.

"You are going to work the climate control to death," he told her, testing her mood.

"Am I?" She looked toward the device on the wall, then at her hands as if she could see how hot she was. She eventually realized that was silly and gave a cautious poke to the closest wall before she snapped her hand away. Thomas didn't look so he couldn't confirm the scorch marks he expected. "Sorry," the Titan mumbled, lowering her head between her shoulders.

"When are you going back into the crucible?" he asked, hoping that making it sound obvious would help.

"The crucible?" she asked, blinking at him.

"Yeah. You need to go, you're going to melt the windows." He folded his hands over his belly. "Or at least take your heat wave outside, but you really need to go shoot something. Go clean out some Hive nests on the moon, the Vex out of Nessus, I think it's Mayhem in the crucible right now. Just something. You are going to burn the entire apartment to a crisp without a single flame."

The silver Guardian looked at her hands again and frowned, pouting at the Warlock. "Sunny's out and about."

That was an easy fix and she knew it. "Exactly why aren't you going?"

It shouldn't be so annoying, but this was the third time she had done this very thing, it was practically annual. And she still hadn't even noticed. He rocked to his feet and strode across the apartment, and he took her shoulders between his hands, and he guided her to the door.

Freija didn't resist initially, only leaning her weight against him, but she eventually planted a heel, effectively becoming a brick wall. "I worked the anxiety back up," she admitted. "I'm scared."

"It makes perfect sense that someone would be scared of deliberately placing themselves into the line of fire," he agreed, taking his time in the playful pushing war now that she was coming clean. "But you have to go. You know you love it, you know you'll forget all about the fear once you get in there. Go tell Shaxx you need some encouragement. I'm about to line up with Stasis just for the duskfield, you are a living heating element." She let him push her to the door and kindly opened it for them. He steered her into the hallway where he gave a playful shove. "Go before you spontaneously combust!" She took her own weight and turned to face him. He showed her his reddened palms before he shook and blew on them. Not horribly burned, but he certainly felt like he pulled a dish out of the oven barehanded.

"Sorry," she said again, lowering her head bashfully. He pushed her shoulder and she let the force turn her around, and she shuffled down the hall. "Thank you."

The warlock had to use his sleeve to touch the still-hot doorknob. "You're welcome. Don't come back until you've gone through a few matches, please. You're becoming a fire hazard for this entire side of the barracks."

@annieruok94

@wolvereaux

[the-weirdos-mind]

Fanner Igor: Hazard/Riff Attire Lines

(Last entry for the event by @raguiras. Fanner works in helping build the sets for the music videos. He’s really good at building them and his metal arm is very usual. The hammer broke, don’t worry he can use the limb as a hammer. Gotta test if something is magnetic? Just stick it on his arm to test it! Need a hand? He’ll chuck it off for you to use. It may end up as a prop if needed but he’ll immediately take it back after filming. Guy has his limits. His metal arm has black paint with these tattoos or something similar on it. The street style is strangely a good look on him. He also wears those black baggy pants with chains, a grey baggy hoodie and has his hair in a small bun. He was assigned to this group and wasn’t sure about being around so many strangers but feels comfortable that someone he knows is in the group. Don’t be scared of him, he’s really sweet as soon as he warms up around you!)

When Summoned: Hazard/Riff huh? Why does being in the group feel so… normal?

Groovification: Everything is all set. Now it’s time to sit back and watch how it all comes together for the performance

Set to Home Screen: Guess I should get these supplies over to the set.

Home Transition 1: Of course Vargas would treat this as another workout. What else can be expected when he’s supervising us. At least he hasn’t offered to help build the sets… yet.

Home Transition 2: I’m surprised that Deuce is the leader but I’m more surprised by how natural he is in the roll. He’ll go far, especially with Allen balancing him out.

Home Transition 3: I’ve never really thought about music as much. I never really had time to listen to anything and develop my music taste. It’s never too late to start that though. I think I already have some type of music I like now.

Home After Login: Time to get over there and use my arm as a hammer. I wonder who would freak out over it this time?

Home Transition (After Groovification): I never knew there was so much that went behind the scenes for making a song or music video. No wonder some people stress out over the process.

Tap Home 1: The whole competition thing makes me think of a lyric Estella knows. I think it goes, ‘Sugar we’re going down swinging?’ Ask her about it.

Tap Home 2: Allen is a good co leader. He seems to know what it’s needed in all this. I’m grateful that he’s one of the leaders.

Tap Home 3: You’re curious if that’s magnetic? Go ahead and place it on my arm. I don’t mind as the my friends had already done this to me before. It’s funny when they stick something when I don’t expect it. Gives me a smile when I need it.

Tap Home 4: Epel is fired up about being in the group. It’s nice to see him let loose every once in a while. Hope he doesn’t get too carried away with the excitement.

Tap Home 5: Hm, where to put… ah I didn’t see you there. You’re wondering what I was mumbling about? I’m not exactly sure where to put this. Have any ideas on a good spot?

Tap Home Groovication: I now understand why people love music. You understand things that you never understood or learn about something new. What an amazing thing.

Allen belongs to @raguiras

[navybrat817]

Omg the candles came in!! I have a gc with my mother and sister and my sister was like “how many did you order because this is a big ass box” I told them and my mother was not too ecstatic about my purchase😂 little does she know I still need to get 5 more before the end of the season 🤫

But yes, boo not being able to use them in my dorm😪 I know it’s a fire and mess hazard but they’re fall candles☹️

We joke like that too! As of right now she’s been trying to take my room and my squishmallow collection 😂

Woohoo! I'm so glad the candles are in! "Big ass box." My mom would say the same thing. 😂

I completely get the dorm rules, but I also know just how many rules were broken. 😂 My building was co-ed and the guys didn't give any fucks about the rules.

BAHAHA. Does she have a favorite of the squishmallows?

I also convinced a couple of my teammates to get candles. I was called an enabler and I pointed out that it's one of my working geniuses. 🤣 Our team had us take this test to determine our strengths, competencies, and frustrations. Enabling is one of my strengths, which is not surprising at all. ❤️

Love and thanks! ❤️

[merbear25]

(CW: blood, animal abuse/death)

There's a theory going around, online and by word of mouth, that the spare parts from the animals that Caesar and Law used to give limbs to the people on Punk Hazard, came from animals used for SAD production. As you may already know, SAD is made from DNA, aka lineage factor, from a large variety of different animal species. As is seen during the Punk Hazard arc, there are parts of animals lying around, from species that have no buisness being native to Punk Hazard. So the theory states that Caesar brought animals to Punk Hazard to use them for SAD. An extention of the theory states that not only did Caesar use dead animals, but living ones too. He might have kept them around, "milking" their blood for maximum efficiency SMILE fruit production. I mean, how else did he produce so much SAD? When we see the SAD silos, they are abnormally big. Really, really big.

There's another thing supporting the theory, and it has to do with Iceland. Punk Hazard is likely based on Iceland, the land of Ice and fire. But do you know what else Iceland has? Blood farms. Specifically horse blood. It is used for some kind of hormone-boosting serum for farm animals, but the blood farming is infamous for being cruel.

Meredith, what do you think about this theory? You've written about horror themes before, so I thought you might find it interesting. I don't know if it's too disturbing for you, but it's certainly not something I could keep myself from sharing with you.

Hey, hey! I'm pretty out of the loop when it comes to fandoms discussing theories, so feel free to send them. I don't mind. 💜💜

To be honest, it doesn't sound like much of a theory to me. It just seems like these would be the logical steps to take in order to ensure all of the ins and outs of SAD were well-understood. Experimenting with various species would mean they have components unique to them that could have potentially been affected differently by the chemical compounds. Using them, regardless of them being alive or dead, would just be the most logical way of going about testing the limits and abilities of it, especially when taking blood farming into consideration.

The animals that aren't native to the area would, of course, be a nuisance to go and collect every time they'd need them. Keeping them as a source rather than just up and killing them immediately would be the best way to make use of them.

This next part isn't a theory, but I'm mentioning it because I had a similar reaction: him experimenting on children because their natural growth progression would serve for the greatest results for the gigantification. In that case why wouldn't you use children?

It feels the same to me when reading this theory because in my opinion, this would just be the natural route you would take.

[atths--twice]

October 31, 2023

It's Halloween! And also the birthday of a very special little girl.

October 29, 2023

“Oh, these look amazing, Violet,” Scully said as she looked at the costumes their neighbor Violet had been furiously sewing to have them finished before Halloween. “I can’t thank you enough for helping us out. I am not a seamstress by any means.” 

“Not to fabric perhaps,” Violet said with a smile. “But you are a doctor who has stitched skin and that is very impressive.” 

“I’ll remember that when I chastise myself for not being able to work a sewing machine,” Scully laughed and Violet joined with a chuckle of her own. “Rachel will love these little patches you’ve added to Jacob’s costume and this Dorothy dress for Elizabeth is too perfect. Such a better feel than the costumes in the store.” 

“And not a fire hazard,” Violet added and Scully nodded, her eyes wide. 

“And I love the star tulle overlay on Faith’s dress. I know she’ll be scrambling to try it on and test out how it spins, as soon as she comes inside,” Scully said and Violet hummed in appreciation. 

They had all come over to Violet and Denis’s house after dinner, to both take a walk and pick up the costumes Violet had been working on for a few weeks. Mulder was outside with Faith and Denis, looking for the wooden animals Denis had carved years ago and had scattered throughout the yard, so Faith could greet them and see how they were doing. Bella ran along beside them, sniffing for rabbits that were too clever to be out and waiting to be chased by an often clumsy black dog. 

“You all will be the best looking group, I’m sure of it. You might run into others dressed similarly, but not as well done as you,” Violet said and Scully agreed. “Oh… and I made a little something extra for Faith.” 

“You did? That was kind of you, but you didn’t have to go to any extra trouble.”

“Oh, it wasn’t any trouble at all. I enjoyed doing it. I don’t have much that fills my days and I definitely don’t have little ones here to spoil, or too close by, so I was happy to do it. Besides, it’s her birthday gift. Well, it’s… part of it, because we do have something else for her, so it’s just because I can.” She nodded at Scully matter of factly and Scully laughed. 

“I’m sure that whatever it is, she will love it. Plus whatever else you got her.” 

“It’s-”

“Hi, Miss Violet,” Faith said as the door squeaked open and she walked inside, followed by the men. “Mister Denis put new animals in the yard, Mama. A purple porcupine and a red wolf. They are very pretty.” 

“You’ll have to show me when we leave,” Scully said, placing a hand on Faith’s head and smoothing her hair back. “Do you want to see your costume, my love? Miss Violet did such a good job sewing it for you.”

“Yes!” Faith exclaimed, clapping her hands and jumping up and down. 

Violet laughed and nodded, picking the pink dress out of the pile of costumes and showing it to Faith. Her mouth dropped open as she stepped forward to touch it. 

“It’s beautiful,” Faith whispered, running her finger over the gold and silver stars on the tulle. “It’s so pretty. I love it. It’s like a… magic fairy princess queen dress. I love it. Can I wear it right now?”

“Of course,” Violet said, smiling at her and Scully took Faith into the bathroom to try on the dress. 

“I LOVE IT!!” Faith yelled, spinning back into the room a few minutes later, her arms above her head. “It’s so spinny! Watch me, Daddy!” 

She spun around and around, all of the adults watching her and smiling. When she stopped, she wobbled slightly, her eyes needing a second to focus. 

“So, I take it you like it then?” Denis asked teasingly and she nodded, spinning around again. 

“You forgot part of the costume,” Violet said and Faith stopped spinning, dizzy and a little out of breath. “You need your wand and crown, Miss Faith.” 

Faith ran over to Violet and let her place the silver crown made from felt, which fit perfectly, onto her head. She then handed Faith the silver star wand that she had made from sequined material. 

“There. Now you’re ready,” Violet said and Faith grinned as she looked at her, holding the wand and waving it slowly. 

“Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” Faith asked in a lilted voice and they all laughed as she spun around again, waving her wand in the air. 

When she had quieted and stopped spinning, Violet told her she had an extra surprise for her. 

“What is it?” Faith asked, setting her wand down and smiling at Violet. 

“I’ll go get it. Stay right there.”

“Okay,” Faith said, looking at Scully. “Miss Violet has a surprise for me. I wonder what it is.” 

“I guess we’ll find out in a minute,” Scully said, curious herself what it could be. 

“Okay,” Violet said, coming into the room with something on a hanger that was covered by a white plastic bag. “Because I don’t want anything to happen to your beautiful dress before Halloween, I thought you might like a different costume to wear to school tomorrow. I know you like these because we’ve talked about them before. So…” Violet took the bag off the hanger and Faith and Scully both gasped. 

It was a mermaid costume with a shiny teal and pink ombre long sleeved top. It blended into a long shiny skirt with scalloped scales in shades of pastel blues and pinks. The tail was made of the same material, but it fell in full folds, assuring the spinny effect Faith would love.  

“It’s so pretty,” Faith whispered, coming closer to touch it. “It’s shiny, but not like a light. Like… like happiness.” 

“Happiness?” Violet asked, looking at Scully who shrugged, not understanding what exactly she meant. 

“Yeah,” Faith nodded. “Like how you feel when you’re happy.” She smiled and nodded again. “It makes me feel happy and shiny.” 

“Well,” Violet said, taking it from the hanger. “I don’t think any praise will ever compare to that, Miss Faith. Would you like to try it on?” 

And she did, coming out and spinning once again, the tail of the costume flying out around her knees. It landed just above her ankles, the perfect length for her to avoid tripping. 

“I can wear the mermaid costume to school tomorrow?” Faith asked as they left, thanking Violet again and waving goodbye as they walked down the driveway. 

“You sure can, baby,” Mulder said, lifting her up and putting her onto his shoulders. “You’re going to be a beautiful mermaid.” 

“Yes, I will,” Faith said, calling goodbye and blowing kisses to Jafadine, the life-sized giraffe that stood in Violet and Denis’s yard, and Mulder laughed. 

_____________

October 31st

“You’re sure this will wash off easily?” Mulder asked as Scully began to apply silver face makeup onto him, to transform him into the Tin Man. 

She stood between his legs as he sat on the closed toilet seat in the upstairs bathroom at Skinner and Rachel’s house, carefully spreading the makeup evenly. 

“Well, if it doesn’t, then we’re both in trouble, aren’t we?” she asked, stepping back to look at him and then glance at herself in the mirror, her own face painted green. 

“I think you look good,” he stated, grabbing onto the backs of her thighs and pulling her a little closer to him. 

“Absolutely not,” she said, leaning back and shifting out of his grasp as Faith and the twins ran down the hallway, laughing about something. 

“Absolutely not about what?” he asked, looking up with innocent eyes, but she was not falling for that this time. 

“If you get up to any funny business, I’ll have to reapply this makeup and it took a long time to get it right. It’s finally dry now and I do not want to start over.” 

“Mmm, why is it so sexy hearing that while your face is so green?” he asked, looping his arms around her waist. 

“Mulder,” she warned, shaking her head. 

“One kiss. I promise I’ll be good. I won’t even mess up your makeup.” 

“Yours will merge with mine and it will be a mess.” 

“We don’t create messes when we merge, only beauty,” he said as Faith shouted for Jacob and he laughed hysterically. 

“Mulder,” Scully laughed, her arms going around his neck, unable to resist him. 

“One kiss.” 

“One. Gentle and easy. I’m serious.” 

“Tin Man’s honor,” he said, holding up one hand and then placing it over his heart. “Or may I be struck down by rust.” She laughed again and he grinned up at her, silver paint on half his face. He pursed his lips and she began to lower her head to meet them when a loud scoff sounded at the bathroom door. 

“Jesus Christ, you two. You’re supposed to be getting ready,” Skinner said gruffly and they both turned their heads to look at him. He sighed loudly and Scully grinned. 

“We are.” 

“Bullshit. Stop all that,” he said, gesturing to their current positions. “Get ready. We’re on a schedule.” 

“Walter?” Rachel called from down the hall. “Can you bring the kids in here? I’m nearly done and you still need to get ready too.” 

“Yes, hon. I’m on my way,” he called back, turning to look in her direction. Looking back at them, he raised his eyebrows and then walked away, calling for Elizabeth and Jacob. 

“Ohhh... Dad got mad,” Mulder whispered and Scully chuckled as she quickly kissed him and then stepped back. “Hey! That’s not fair. I wasn’t ready.” 

“Tough shit. We gotta get a move on.” 

“Mama, can I get ready now?” Faith asked, walking into the bathroom wearing her mermaid costume and a purple sash with Birthday Girl written in rainbow letters. “Oh, Daddy! You look silly.” She giggled as she came closer, stepping between them as Scully continued putting the silver makeup on him. “Does it feel funny?” 

“No. It’s just kinda cold,” he replied. 

“Shh. No talking,” Scully said. “Or you’ll get creases. I’m nearly done.” 

A few minutes later, Faith giggling as she sang the Tin Man’s song, tapping out the beat on Mulder’s legs, Scully was finished. 

“There. Now let it dry for a bit and then get your costume on,” she said, wiping her hands on the paper towels she had brought into the bathroom. “Your turn, my love.” She smiled at Faith and she grinned. 

“I’m very excited,” Faith said and Scully laughed as Mulder stood up to look at his reflection in the mirror. 

“Well,” he said, turning his head from left to right. “It looks odd on its own, but once I’ve got the costume on, it will work. Thanks, love.” He put his hand out and Scully high fived him before he left the room. 

“Let’s get you up here on the counter. I’ll curl your hair and then we’ll put a little bit of makeup on you.” 

“But not like yours or daddy’s, right?” Faith asked, looking at Scully in the mirror, her eyes slightly worried. 

“No, love,” Scully laughed, testing the curling iron she had plugged in earlier. “Not like ours. Just a little bit of blush and maybe mascara and then we’ll put on your dress.” 

“Okay, Mama. I’m ready.” 

________________

Thirty minutes later, everyone was downstairs, laughing and commenting on how they all looked. 

“Unco Fox,” Jacob laughed, tapping Mulder’s leg. “Wobot.” 

“No,” Faith said, shaking her head. “He’s a tin man, Jakey. He’s made of silver tin. It will be rusty if he doesn’t use his oil can.” 

Mulder stopped walking and made squeaking sounds which caused Faith and Jacob to giggle. 

“Oilllll caaaaan,” he said through clenched teeth. 

Faith and Jacob laughed as they took turns using the small can that came with his costume to pretend to oil him up. 

“Oh… oh, thank you. I can move again,” he said, moving his jaw and opening and closing his mouth. He rotated his arms and then stuck his hands out to both of them. Shaking their hands simultaneously, he crossed them back and forth, causing them to laugh again.  

Scully turned her attention from them to Skinner and had to fight back laughter of her own. 

They had planned their Wizard of Oz costumes nearly two months ago, discussing who would be which character. When the decisions were final, Skinner had grumbled a bit, but Scully had also seen the smile tugging at his lips. 

She had known who he would be, but seeing him in his costume as the Cowardly Lion was nearly too much. 

“Okay!” Rachel shouted with a smile, adjusting the strings on the bonnet of her Lullaby League ballerina costume. “We’re going to take some pictures in the backyard and then we’ll head out to go trick-or-treating. We all look so good. I absolutely love these costumes. This was such a great idea. Let me get the phone set up out there.” 

They all trooped out to the backyard, grabbing the props for their costumes on the way. Bella, who had been brought along as Mulder, Scully, and Faith would be spending the night, ran up to give them all some licks, her tail wagging excitedly. She was placed inside the house for a moment so she would not be in the way as everyone then got together for the picture. 

Mulder, the Tin Man, stood beside Scully, the Wicked Witch of the West, with Faith, Glinda the Good Witch, in front of them. Skinner, the Cowardly Lion, had Elizabeth, Dorothy Gale, and Jacob, the Scarecrow, in front of him. Vivian, Rachel’s mother, who had arrived only minutes before, stood next to him. She was dressed as the tornado that had brought Dorothy to Oz, complete with the images Dorothy had seen inside the tornado stuck to her outfit. 

Scully smiled as she looked at all of them, even as she felt an unexpected lump forming in her throat. She felt Mulder place his hand on the small of her back and she nodded, letting out a deep breath. 

“Good?” he asked in a whisper and she nodded again. 

“Okay!” Rachel shouted, smoothing her pink ballerina costume. “We’ve got ten seconds. Get ready!” She pushed the timer and rushed over, squeezing in between her mom and Skinner. “Everyone say Pizza!”

“Pizza!” they all shouted and the phone flashed down from ten to one, snapping a burst of photos. 

“Let me check it, but I’m sure we got a good one in the bunch,” Rachel said, walking toward the phone. 

A few more pictures were taken and then they all left the house with their assortment of props, coffee tumblers full of wine, and Bella in tow. 

Many families were already out, the children shouting and running from house to house. Scully smiled as Faith and the twins walked up the first driveway, calling out trick or treat before the door was even open. 

People stopped them as they continued through the neighborhood, telling them how much they loved their costumes. 

When the twins began to slow down and lose interest, they walked back to the house, Faith dancing and spinning ahead of them. 

Not bothering to change out of their costumes as they still had one last celebration to attend to, they gathered in the dining room. 

The pink ombré cake that had been placed onto the table after dinner was lit with a golden number five candle and the lights were turned out. 

Happy birthday was sung to Faith, her blue eyes shining in the light of the flame, as she looked at each of them in turn, in her sparkly pink Glinda dress and silver crown, and she grinned.