#“He’d probably send you an entire paragraph explaining how much he loves you and that you shouldn’t worry about that at all”

[skhardwarevers1]

tireedddddddd time to do my new favorite thing (stare at msgs between me and my bf)

[vicea]

dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson) 

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories 

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour... 

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea) 

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when 

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla 

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars 

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon! 

[inspiteallthedanger]

1, 2, 4, 8, 16

Hello, thanks so much for sending these. It really made me smile and it's given me something to do on the train :-).

Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

It's queer Paul all the time. I'm so close I can almost smell it. I'm packing it off to the beta before the end of the week or so help me... I'm really, really enjoying thinking through the differences that would have on their relationship and what that would mean for how events played out. It's also impacted how J&P interact, which is so fun.

But I've also started that Love Actually India AU and the 1970s affair fic. I've got a few thousand words of these down.

I've also got those follow-ups to Going Nowhere. But I've only got snatches of dialogue for those. But, I'm desperate to get more done.

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm super excited to write Paul and John coming out in Going Nowhere, actually. I think that's be a really interesting contrast. Plus, I love putting them in the middle of drama and seeing how they cope with it together.

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Hmmm, this is so hard!! I'm just going to pick something from QP because that's open right now.

He didn’t know why he wanted Mike to see it. Maybe just because it was the fulfilment of his plans, the fruit of the seed planted by his dad’s slap. He thought later that perhaps he’d needed a witness to make sure it was real. Or maybe he knew that it was only acting if someone was there to see it. Without that it was just the horror in the pit of his stomach when he looked at the fence. 

I guess I like this because it's me working through Paul's thoughts on an incident that, from the outside, seems so scary and sad.

Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Yes, pretty much. I'm mostly writing for myself at this point, so it's what I want to be able to read but doesn't exist. I'd read probably a wider range of things than I write. Like I'd read one shots and character studies or sad endings. But I don't write those.

Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Titles *the sound of distant sobbing in the background*. They're too short for me. Like, I feel the need to sum up the entire point of the story and it just makes me go insane. Hence I'm still calling QP, Queer Paul, 80k in... Summaries I don't mind. I just go with the overview of the plot/concept and then try and give a flavour of what the story's vibes are. I guess I'm not too worried about 'selling it'? As long as it's clear what it's about and that the tags add vibes and things I look for, then I assume people will give it a go if they're interested in that sort of thing. Perhaps I'm wrong.

[specialagentsergio]

love, in ink

summary: Spencer wants to do something special to commemorate your relationship. (or, reader and spencer get a couples’ tattoo)

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

category: fluff

content warnings: tattoos & tattooing, one very light sexual reference bc i'm a hoe

a/n: i recently got my first tattoo and i’ve been absolutely obsessed with tattoos ever since, so here you go. location and design was purposefully left vague so you can imagine anything you want, but i do write reader as already having at least two tattoos.

word count: 2.9k

masterlist

Spencer’s been thinking about it for years.

Two years, eight months, and twenty days to be exact.

Looking back, four months and ten days was pretty early to be thinking of something so permanent. But he couldn’t help it—contrary to how he thinks people perceive him, he’s a romantic. A bit of a hopeless one, really.

In any case, he had been right. Almost three years after your first date, you’re still together and absolutely in love. You live together, your lives are inseparably entwined. Every day has been an affirmation of the conclusion he came to three months into your relationship—you’re the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

So really, four months and ten days wasn’t all that early to think of getting a tattoo with you.

He doesn’t have any, but you do, and he’s always loved them. He likes running his fingers over them, pressing kisses to them, rubbing moisturizer into them, and aiding you in making sure they’re all well covered in sunscreen before you’re going to be outside for a while.

He’d never really considered getting a tattoo until he saw how much you loved yours. It’s one of your favorite forms of self-expression, you’ve told him. You say the body art helps you feel more confident, comfortable, and at home in your body. Confidence in your body—that’s definitely something he could do with. But above everything, because it’s something you love, and Spencer loves you, it’s an experience he wants to share with you.

He brings up the idea over dinner forty-five days before your three-year anniversary. You’re reading while you eat—a common occurrence in your home for the both of you. He spins his fork in his hand a few times, then carefully sets it down and says your name.

You hold up a finger to ask him to wait; he watches your eyes move across the page as you finish the paragraph you’re on. Your attention is on him as soon as you’re finished. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” He’s nervous—he knows you love him, but what if you say no anyways? What if you don’t want to get a tattoo with him? They are permanent, after all. “It’s… I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” he admits.

Your eyes widen when you pick up on his anxiety. “Oh god, are you breaking up with me?”

He nearly chokes on the water he’d nervously sipped. “Wha—no, no!” he rushes to assure. “I—I love you. I don’t—I don’t ever want that.”

You take in a deep breath, carefully putting your book aside. “Alright. Okay.”

“Why would you think I was breaking up with you?” he asks, concerned about the conclusion you’d jumped to. “Are… are you not happy? Are things not good between us, for you? I thought—well, think, they are. Maybe I’m wrong? I could be. I’ve never been the best at reading social clues. Have I missed something? I’m sorry if I have. I--”

“Spence, Spencer.” You interrupt his nervous rambling and reach across the table, placing your hand on top of his. “Things are great between us for me. I love you, too. You were just so serious when you said you wanted to talk, it caught me off guard. It’s… not an uncommon way for a conversation about breaking up to start.”

“Oh. Sorry. I—I didn’t realize it could come off like that,” he says quietly.

“It’s okay. As long as we’re not breaking up, I’m happy.” You give his hand a squeeze before leaning back in your chair. “So, what is it you want to talk about?”

“Right.” He squares his shoulders and wipes his damp palms on his pants. “Our three year anniversary is in forty-five days, and I was thinking to celebrate, maybe we could… get a tattoo together?”

Immediately you break into the most beautiful smile—he’s happy to have an eidetic memory when it comes to moments like this. “Really?” you ask, body tense with excitement.

“Yeah. Really,” he confirms. “I, um… I guess you’re on board, then?”

“Yes!” you exclaim. “Yes, yes, yes! Oh, Spencer this is so exciting! Your first tattoo!”

He doesn’t bother to correct you about calling it his first. He’s got no plans to get more, so this could very well be his only tattoo. But he doesn’t want to dampen the moment, so instead he says, “I don’t really have any ideas for it. I just want to do it with you.”

“Wait here.” You disappear into the bedroom and return with a folded piece of notebook paper. It’s worn and wrinkled, the edges curled in. He unfolds it carefully to find the page covered in your handwriting. Some of the writing looks more rushed than other parts. Some sections are in blue ink, some are in black. It’s clear you’ve been compiling this list for quite a while.

He reads it at his normal, rapid pace, but it takes him a few moments to understand it. “Is this a list of…?”

You nod. “Tattoo ideas.” He looks up at you in… well, in awe, and you shrug. “I don’t want to just get your name on me, as nice as it is.”

“How long have you been working on this?”

“Um.” The answer seems to embarrass you a little. “A… a couple of years.”

“Years?” he repeats. “But you never said anything.”

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured into getting a tattoo,” you say. “Since they are, you know, permanent.”

“Relatively.” He looks back to the paper, running his fingertips over the indents left by the pressure of the pen. “They naturally fade with age, and can age prematurely through sun exposure.”

“Yeah. Listen, it’s okay if you don’t like any of my ideas.”

Spencer shakes his head—he likes a lot of them, but he already knows which one he wants—he knew as soon as he read it. He points. “This one.”

You bend down to see it and smile. “I was hoping you’d pick that one.”

“It’s perfect,” he says, and presses a kiss to your cheek.

---

You handle pretty much everything, contacting one of your favorite artists and pitching the idea. You’ve been tattooed by her before—specifically, she did his favorite of your tattoos. So he’s happy to have her do this one, too, putting down the deposit without hesitation. The artwork she sends back is everything he pictured and more. She’s taken the idea and brought it to life better than he could ever hope to. A few tweaks here and there, then the date is set. You’ll be getting tattooed the Friday before your anniversary.

Yours will be done first, near the end of his work day—when he arrives, you should be just about done. It’s not exactly how he imagined it happening, but you said it would be better this way. If he sits and watches you get the entire thing done, you think he’ll end up psyching himself out about his own tattoo.

“Is it really that bad?” he had asked.

You shrug. “Well, it’s pain, so it’s obviously not super fun, but it’s tolerable. You overreacted when I stubbed my toe last week, so I think it’s probably best if you’re not there watching me the entire time.”

“I don’t like seeing you in pain,” he defends sheepishly.

“Exactly. I’ll keep you updated with texts and pictures, though, okay?”

He agrees, because honestly, you’re probably right.

Getting into bed with you the night before he asks, “What does it feel like? Besides it just hurting.”

“It’s different for everyone. It also depends on where you get it.” Spencer bumps your arm with his nose, silently requesting for you to adjust your position in a way that allows him to press as much of his body as he possibly can against yours. You place your hand in his hair once he’s settled, as usual, then continue. “It does kind of… vibrate. That’s something I didn’t expect going into my first tattoo.”

“Vibrate?” he repeats. “That’s… well, I guess it makes sense, considering how tattoo machines work.”

“Mm-hmm. But I wouldn’t worry about that part if I were you. Last time I checked, vibration isn’t a sensation that bothers you.” A very slight tug on his hair. “The opposite, actually.”

The squeak he makes is involuntary. “I, um… okay. I’ll—I’ll keep that in mind.”

He’s treated to a little laugh, but then your tone changes. “Seriously, though, Spencer. It’s okay if it ends up being too much, or just not for you, and you can’t finish the tattoo. Or if you just don’t want to finish it. I won’t be mad.”

He’s taken by surprise at first. It is a worry that he’s been harboring, that all the sensory input will be too much, but he’s never said anything about it, so how did you know?

Then again, it’s you. Of course you know. You always do.

“Okay,” he whispers. “Thank you.”

---

“Hey, how can I help you?”

Spencer looks up from his phone to the woman who’s just come into the front of the shop from the back. As promised, you’d kept him updated on your tattoo process with texts and pictures.

“Um, I—I have an appointment?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but he’s really nervous—you were definitely right to have him come in later than you so he doesn’t have enough time to get really worked up.

“Who’s it with?”

“Megan.”

She glances over her shoulder. “Megan is currently with someone. I can go ask her how long the wait will be.”

“No, it’s okay, she’s working on my partner. We’re—we’re getting tattoos together,” he explains.

“Oh, fun! I’ll lead you back, then.”

He follows her to an open doorway. Your body is still and unmoving; Megan is hunched over your skin. You smile when you see him. “Hi, Spencer.”

“Hey. Um, how’s it going?”

You sigh. “Well, to be honest, I think this is going to be my last tattoo.”

“I’ve heard that before,” Megan says without looking up.

The little angry huff you make before replying with “I know” makes him smile, and his nerves settle a little. “Why do I do this to myself?”

Spencer can tell it’s just a rhetorical question, asked in good humor, but he can’t stop himself from answering it regardless.

“There are many different reasons that could drive someone to get a tattoo despite the pain, including the adrenaline and endorphins the body produces in response to pain, stress relief, and the need for creative expression.”

“Stress relief?” you repeat. “I haven’t heard that one before.”

“It is a strange concept at face value. An example, though, would be getting a tattoo to mark the end of a difficult period in your life. Some people get them to symbolize personal difficulties or trauma, or to memorialize people they’ve lost. It can be a form of catharsis that helps them process painful emotions, memories, or other stressful feelings.”

Your head tilts as you take the information in. “That’s interesting.”

“Alright.” Megan leans back. “It’s done. Go take a look.”

Spencer follows you to the full length mirror. “Oh, wow,” you breathe out as soon as you see it. “It’s amazing. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“Spencer.” You touch his arm. “What do you think?”

It takes him a few moments to answer because he’s been overcome with emotion. He’s overwhelmed with just how much you love and care for him to have permanently embedded a reminder of him into your skin. “It’s perfect,” he whispers.

“It is,” you agree.

You return to Megan and she takes a few photos of the tattoo, promising to text them to you, then gets started on the aftercare. “You know the drill,” she says, but still gives you the instructions for what to do as the artwork heals. He only barely registers what she’s saying—his eyes are glued to the tattoo.

“Okay, let me get everything switched out and cleaned up, and then we can start on yours, Spencer.”

“Hmm?” He tears his gaze away to find Megan looking at him. “Oh, right. Okay.” He sits off to the side with you while she disposes of supplies, replaces them with new, sterile ones, and wipes everything down.

She works fast—before he knows it, Megan has shaved and cleaned his skin, and has him in front of the mirror as she places the stencil. It takes a few tries to get it just right. He apologizes when she has to print the stencil again, but she waves him off. “It’s your tattoo and it’s going to be on you forever. I want you to be one-hundred percent happy with the placement.”

His nerves spike back up when he’s settled down and all ready to be tattooed. You sit in a chair on the opposite side of him than Megan, and when you offer your hand, he grabs it immediately.

“Breathe, baby,” you say gently. “Try not to tense up too much.”

He does try, but still jumps a little when Megan’s gloved hand touches him. “Sorry,” he says breathlessly. “I’m a little nervous.”

“Oh, no, you’re fine,” she reassures. “I won’t start until you’re ready.”  

“I think I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Okay. I’ll start with just one small line.”

It’s a strange sensation, unlike anything he’s felt before, but it’s… not horrible. He’s been scratched by cats in the past, and it feels kind of like that, but hot. There’s the vibrating you had mentioned, too.

“How was that?” Megan asks.

“Not so bad,” he answers honestly.

“That’s great. I’ll keep going then. Settle in. Just let me know if you start feeling funny or if you need a break, alright?” At his nod, she goes to work, and he switches his attention to you. He knows he shouldn’t, that it’ll probably come back to bite him in the ass, but he can’t stop himself from teasing you.

“I don’t know why you were complaining earlier,” he says in his best innocent voice, with his best innocent expression. “It’s not that bad.”

The way your mouth drops open just a little bit is adorable, and so is the noise of disbelief that follows. “Yeah, okay. Tell me that again at the end.”

“I will,” he replies, mentally adding probably not to the sentence.

You roll your eyes and let go of his hand to sort through your things. You give him a lollipop when you find it.

“What’s this for?” Suckers aren’t really his favorite candy.

“Your adrenaline is probably going to drop now that the tattoo has started and I don’t want you to pass out,” you say. “The sugar will help prevent you from getting lightheaded.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

The tattoo goes well overall, he thinks. It’s definitely painful, but like you said, it’s tolerable. He’s certainly felt worse. Near the end, though, he really starts hurting, and a grimace slips across his face.

“She’s almost done,” you reassure. He hasn’t been looking at it, but you have. “Also, what was that you saying earlier?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles. “It’s not even the needle, you know. It’s the paper towels.”

“A lot of people say that,” Megan says. “Just a few more minutes left.”

He spends those last few minutes questioning every decision he’s made in his life that has led him to this moment, and swearing to himself that he’s never going to do this again. But then it’s over and he’s looking at in the mirror, and it’s suddenly like the past five minutes never happened.

Spencer loves it. He absolutely adores it. Not just the art itself, but how it looks on his body and how it’s making him feel.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you ask, making him jump a little. He’d been so fixated on the tattoo that he didn’t notice you joining him.

He ponders for a moment to find the right words. “I’m beginning to understand why you like doing this so much.”

You grin. “It’s great, huh?”

“It is, yeah. I kind of want to touch it; is that weird?”

“No, but don’t,” you reply. “It’s an open wound.”

“I know.” He looks back at Megan. “This is perfect. Thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you like it,” she says. “Thank you for trusting me with your first tattoo.”

When he drags himself away from the mirror, she goes over aftercare with him, and he listens more intently this time. A few things are going to be a little inconvenient, he thinks, but it’s more than worth the trade off.

You take his hand as you leave the shop. “I’m so happy that I got to do that with you.”

He squeezes your hand back. “Me too.”

You reach the car, but before he can move towards the passenger side, you pull him in close. “I love you.”

His free hand comes up to cradle your cheek. “I love you, too.”

You kiss him, soft and sweet. “Happy three years,” you say when you pull back.

“Here’s to three more?” he offers, a little nervous, but mostly hopeful.

Your smile leaves no room for doubt. “I like the sound of that.”

---------------

hit up my inbox if you wanna talk tattoos bc i fucking love them. what do you see spencer getting with his partner?

general taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ , @spencerreid9​

[wastelandcth]

voicemail - cth

summary: calum’s tired of hearing his calls go straight to voicemail. 

author’s notes: this is based off of ahora te puedes marchar - luis miguel. i grew up listening to this song and its been stuck in my head ever since tiktok brought it back. i hope you enjoy! 

warnings: mentions of breakup ups, sad calum, mentions of alcohol. 

masterlist

Calum was sick of hearing her voicemail message. It's all he had heard when he tried calling her for the past three weeks. At first, he had blamed it on the distance, he'd been away on tour for the past three months and time zones were difficult to navigate at times, but at least he had tried to call and talk with her. She'd simply said goodbye to him at their airport and had proceeded to act as if she'd never met Calum before. 

It had been three months of Calum sending her pictures of his travels and sending updates about where they were, what they were doing, and that he missed her. It had also been three months of silence, of not knowing where she was or what she was going. For all Calum knew, she had disappeared off the face of the Earth and was never coming back. They'd been in Paris when Ashton finally convinced him to call her and put an end to whatever game she was playing. That was two months and one week ago, now Calum was sick of hearing the voice mail message he'd almost memorized from hearing it for the past week. 

"Hi! Sorry I couldn't get to the phone in time! I'm probably super busy but I'll give you a call back as soon as I can! Bye! I love you!" 

Calum's jaw clenched as he heard the all familiar beep of her answering machine, a sigh leaving him before he hung up and set his phone down on the couch of the green room in whatever country he was in that day. He was out the door before even Ash could come and get him this time, his daily ritual of calling her with the hopes that she would answer and tell him that she'd been far too busy and something else that would make everything okay. But with every voicemail message he left, Calum felt his love slipping farther and farther away from her. 

Calum remembers when he first fell in love with her. They'd been seeing each other for around eight months, dates filled with sweet kisses, and looking up at the stars. It had been the best eight months of Calum's life, he had never felt so free and so happy than in those eight months of being with her. 

They'd been at the beach cafe he had first met her at, she'd been telling him a story about her family vacation where she had ended up on the beach alone and too drunk to remember where her hotel room was. She was halfway through her story when Calum's mouth opened and the words escaped him before his brain could even stop him. 

She was the woman of Calum's dreams and he wasn't going to let his fear of love stop him from having something he could cherish with her. He would walk through hell and back for her and he was willing to throw caution to the wind ready for whatever love had planned for him. 

Tour buses were a safe haven for Calum. He was away from the screaming crowds and the fans that always seemed to want to pry into his life. He was alone in his bunk, the darkness that enveloped him, and his mind helped him shut off the memories of her and how his heart felt like it was breaking one day at a time. After much begging and giving Ashton a promise that he was okay, he was alone on a tour bus his mind empty as he closed his eyes and tried to let the hum of the engine lull him back to sleep. 

Lately, Calum's dreams had consisted of a voicemail message, and the last time he had seen her, wrapped in one of his hoodies with tear-stained cheeks. He kept hearing her voice, echoing in his mind, telling him to be back soon and to bring her snacks. When he woke up, Calum felt like his eyeballs were going to explode, the pounding headache he'd gotten before he was on the bus still present. He was sick of having those stupid dreams of her voice and her smile and he was sick of thinking about her every day. So the only thing he could think of was to call her one last time. 

"It's me again, I know you're probably sick of hearing me. You're probably sick of me telling you that I'm sorry for doing something wrong that I don't even know what it is. I just, I called to say goodbye. I'm guessing that's what you meant when we talked last, that goodbye meant you didn't want to hear me anymore. I loved you when I left, I loved you when you didn't answer my phone calls, I loved you when you started posting on Twitter about your family vacation again. I loved you when I saw that picture of both of you at the beach, kissing. I loved you, I pushed through my fears and let go of myself for you. And now I lost everything because of something that you won't explain to me. I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul and you threw it away like it was nothing. Shut me out and pretended that I never cared about you and...But I know I'm done now, I know that you didn't know how to love me so now you can leave and I can leave and we don't have anything else to talk about. So I guess this is goodbye, have a nice life, I hope he makes you happier than I ever could." 

Three years ago Calum would've never imagined he'd be sitting at the same beachside cafe where he'd given his heart away. Three years ago Calum was on a tour bus numb to the world as the voicemail message hurt his ear and his brain. But things were different now, he was no longer crying himself to sleep. His heart didn't feel like it would break in half whenever he drove past the cafe. Especially today, when he had walked in holding her hand and sighed in relief when the entire place didn't explode. It wasn’t until he heard the basita call out a familiar name and his entire body tensed up.

Calum was in a bad place when he met her. He'd been locked in Ashton's guest room for six months before he even decided that going out to the grocery store would be a nice chance for fresh air. Being on the road for almost a year and then coming home to LA where all the memories of her were still in his house was not something he had prepared himself to handle. Two days into being back home, Calum found himself with a packed bag and Duke in his arms at Ashton's front door. He had laid down in the guest bedroom that day and had never gotten back up. 

"Do you think vanilla or regular oat milk would be better for banana bread?" she asked him while holding up to cartons of oat milk. 

Calum was in love with her smile since that first time he saw it. He doesn't even remember what answer he gave her, just remembers that he looked at her for way too long and probably freaked her out. But he somehow ended up with her phone number and before he knew it he was kissing her during the middle of a crappy superhero movie he really regretted suggesting they watch. 

When Calum saw her for the first time in three years, he felt like he was going to explode with anger. She looked like she had the day Calum her saw her last. She still had the same long hair she always complained about, still wore the gold hoop earrings that he had gotten her for her birthday, and she was still wearing that damn hoodie. 

His fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white and it took everything in Calum's power to not walk over to her and tell her everything he'd been through since she'd left him. He watched as she paid for her drink and walked out of the coffee shop without noticing him. But with a deep breath and his coffee in his hand, Calum walked out to his car and drove off. She might've changed overnight, but it had taken Calum years to change and now that he had, he wasn't going to let his past ruin a good day. 

The text message notification had been on his home screen for three hours. He'd been staring at it every five minutes for the past three hours. He hated seeing it on his screen, hated that she thought she could just text him after three years of radio silence, and expect him to answer. His hands had stopped shaking an hour after he'd gotten the text message but every time he read it over, the anger built in his chest and he had to pace around his living room and groan out loud before he managed to sit back down and start the cycle all over again. 

"You look good. I like the blonde curls. We should meet up, talk about us? I miss you." 

He couldn't help but roll his eyes, three years of radio silence and all he got was a compliment and a proposition to meet up again. His fingers moved faster than ever before as he typed out his reply, all the anger, and resentment of the past three years falling off his shoulders in a matter of seconds. He hadn't even noticed when his fingers had stopped moving, his heart was racing and his breathing was uneven. His eyes scanned over the paragraph that he'd seemingly been holding in his chest for the last couple of years and with a simple tap, it was gone.  

Calum really loved his girlfriend. He loved the fact that after he deleted and blocked the phone number he had hoped to get a notification from for so long, his girlfriend showed up with his favorite Italian food and a bottle of wine. He loved that she held him close while they watched reruns of The Simpsons and she ran her hands through his curls. He loved that she was willing to cancel their date night and just hold him close because it meant that he found someone who loved him just the same. 

[tarlosbuddie]

CapSwap - Chapter 1

Read on AO3

Summary: Taylor Kelly is back at the 118 and she’s producing a new TV Show where Bobby Nash and Owen Strand will trade places for an entire month. Bobby will fly to Austin to take over the 126 when Owen will be the Captain at the 118. 

Or a dad swap between the two Daptain.

Word Count: 2640

Chapter: 1/?

When Bobby Nash received a call from the fire chief, he expected another suspension. It’s the only thing that comes to his mind now when the highest-ranking member of the department personally asked to talk to him. To be fair, the 118 had its fair share of suspension and Bobby is driving to the fire chief office, wondering which one of his team is going to be benched again. None of them deserve it, but life keeps throwing them curveballs so Bobby is just expecting the next one. They are all doing fine lately, at least at work. Sure, half of them still need some serious therapy to get through their trauma, but Bobby trusts them to deal with it. He is about to enter the office when he sees a small red-haired woman talking to the chief and laughing with him. Bobby can barely see her face, but he recognized her voice and he is annoyed already. She is finally leaving the office and the chief waves at Bobby to enter.

“You remember Taylor Kelly?” the chief asks. Bobby is surprised to see him smiling this way. He knows he should be relieved because it probably means that no one is getting fired, but a reporter is never good news for him.

“It’s kind of hard to forget her and her cameras,” Bobby says. He is trying his best to keep his tone respectful while addressing his superior.

“Her news report about the 118 did great for public relations”, he explains. “The department had to cut some parts they didn’t like, but otherwise it helped with public opinion.” 

“Do you want her to make another video? Because I know you liked her work but I can’t say I was happy having her around” Bobby says.

“You won’t have to worry about Taylor” the chief replies and Bobby is relieved for a moment. But then he opens his mouth again and the relief is short-lived. “You will be going to Austin,” he says and Bobby’s jaw drops. “Miss Kelly had a great idea to improve public opinion. You will swap places with another captain for a month. We already cleared everything with the other department. They are sending their captain on Monday” he adds, leaving no room for argument. 

“Chief, with all due respect” Bobby tries.

“Captain Nash, your station has not the best records at the moment.” he cuts.  “Between your suspension and Mr. Buckley’s lawsuit, you are not in our good grace. Take this as a chance to redeem yourself in the eyes of the public and in my eyes too,” he says firmly. “This is happening whether you like it or not.” 

“My family is here, you can’t uproot me without my permission.”

“It’s only for a month. So I suggest you start packing because you are leaving in a few days. Unless you are willing to add insubordination to your list.”

Bobby is about to walk out of the office when the chief adds “It’s going to be a good experience for you and your team. Don’t see this as a punishment, use it as an opportunity to learn a thing or two. I’m sure AFD will be happy to have you there.”

Taylor is still in the hallway when Bobby leaves the office, but he ignores her and goes back to the station. 

He explains the situation to the team as soon as he arrives. They are all around the table, waiting for a breakfast that wasn’t cooked since Bobby wasn’t there to feed them. Eddie is the first to react to the news.

“Wait, Taylor Kelly is coming back here?” he says much to everyone’s surprise.

“Well, I didn’t think that would be the part that bothers you” Bobby teases. “I’m glad you are not too sad about having another captain here.”

“Of course I’m sad, Cap,” Eddie adds. 

“I’m not excited about this either, but we don’t have much of a choice. The chief sent me the contracts, the cameras won’t be here all the time. They just want to produce an entertaining piece about how a different captain can change things in a station but I think it’s mostly an excuse for Taylor to step up her game”.

“It looks like she already did Cap”, Buck says. “She was always ambitious and that’s one of the things I learned to respect about her. She went from traffic reports to news reports to producing her own show.”

Buck complimenting the woman that went Buck 1.0 on him and leaving him in a parking lot was not something Bobby thought he’d ever seen but he was even more surprised by the murdering look on Eddie’s face.

“What do we know about the new cap?” Hen asks. 

“I’m going to Austin, so I think that’s where the new guy is coming from.” Bobby answers. He sits on the table next to them and handles all of them the contracts to sign. He didn’t really read them in the chief office before being practically forced to sign his copy. But now that he has his in his hand and a hot-barely-drinkable coffee in the other he reads a paragraph that makes him want to spit his coffee. “What the hell?” he screams to himself but everyone raises their head from their reading to look at their captain.

“Everything’s okay Cap? Buck asks, a little worried. The youngest member didn’t even bother to grab his own contract and was reading from Eddie’s as he was close enough to see it. Both his hands were filled with food anyway.

“The Captain of the 118 would live at the Strand’s house for the duration of the contract” Bobby reads, voice higher than he would have hoped.

“Does this mean you will have to live with his wife or something?” Chimney asks, his curiosity is picked and he is dying to know more about what already appears to be a month of chaos and fun.

“His boy,” Bobby says. “It says that the Captain from the 126 added a clause in the contract saying that he didn’t want his son to be alone and that he wanted me to keep an eye on him. I’m going to babysit a teenager?” Bobby assumes. “Thank God the firehouse is the only place I’m exchanging with him because I wouldn’t want to come home to Athena to tell her that some stranger would live under her roof.”

The rest of the shift goes back without any major surprise. Every time they come back to the house in between calls, Chimney is on his laptop, googling things and laughing, Eddie is even closer to Buck, questioning him about Taylor Kelly even as they step into the showers after a call that left them covered in ashes and sweat and Hen is talking to Bobby while keeping an eyes on the boys, already guessing how insufferable the three of them will be on Monday.

When Bobby comes home after a long, mostly boring, shift, he feels anxiety building in his stomach at the idea of having to break the news to his wife and her kids. He waits for the diner to be over to start talking.

“So, the Chief called me into his office this morning,” he says first.

“Everything’s okay? Nothing to do with Buck I hope? I swear, this boy has been giving me more gray hair in 3 years than my kids in a lifetime.” 

“Buck’s fine. His ex girlfriend, though.” Bobby starts.

“Abby? She was a sweet woman,until she broke our boy’s heart.”

“Taylor Kelly.”

“The news reporter?”

“It’s Taylor Kelly, the TV productor now. She pitched an idea to the Chief and he signed for it with a big smile.”

“What idea? She’s not gonna film you again, is she?” Athena says in the same annoyed tone than Bobby.

“I like her” May says before her brother hits her arm for her to stop talking. “What? She’s good. She did some very interesting news pieces and she gave a lecture to my school to encourage young students to go to college.”

“So what did that angel of a woman did for my husband to look so pissed?”

“She’s producing a show called the Swap.”

“I’ve seen an episode” the young woman cuts again. “She had doctors trade hospitals to show how leadership can affect a place. It was great! One of them was super uptight and-” she stopped talking when her eyes met Bobby’s. “Oh shit.”

“Langage!” Athena says. “Is there something I’m missing?”

“She’s doing a firefighter version. And I guess I’m the very uptight one.”

Of all the reactions he imagined all day, the only one he didn’t imagine was the sound of his wife bursting into laughter.

“Sorry” she says, covering her mouth to stop the loud noize coming out of it. “Sorry, it’s not funny.”

“It’s really not” Bobby says.

“I’m just trying to picture you in that show, with a new team. And oh god, that poor captain is not ready to handle the 118.”

“Hey, they’re a great team.”

“They’re your kids, Bobby. You love them and I do too. They are great at their jobs.”

“They’re the best,” Bobby corrects.

“But they are also a bunch of living disasters. How long has it been since one of them ended up in the hospital? I hope the new cap doesn’t like his hair too much, because he’s gonna end up with a head full of gray hair within the first week.”

“I was hoping a little more empathy for your poor husband who’s gonna live in Texas for a month with the son’s captain as a roommate.”

“You’ll do great, honey. I’m not worried about you.”

Meanwhile, a thousand miles away.

“Are you serious, dad? Please tell me you’re kidding me.” TK whines. He places his mug on the sink and walks toward Owen who is waiting for him by the door to go to work.

“It will be a nice change, TK. Plus, the department told me I didn’t really have a choice since they needed the money to pay for the House renovation I ordered. Apparently I went a little over the budget.”

“You spend half the budget on that fancy coffee maker Judd can’t even get to work without your help.”

“Stop complaining and move your ass to the car or we’ll be late. I hope you’ll complain less when the new cap is here cause he’ll be the one driving your whining ass to work.”

“He what?”

So maybe Owen forgot to mention that part. It was the only thing that had him hesitate before saying yes, he promised he wouldn’t leave his son alone after what happened in New York. He tried to negotiate for his son to come with him but the productors insisted only the captain could come, so he only managed to have the other captain to live with his son at all time. He also knew TK wasn’t alone anymore, he saw the way Carlos looked at him the day he came picking him up at the station. He knows he will be fine but he’s not taking any chances when it comes to his boy safety. 

When they both arrive at the station, Mateo has a hot cup of coffee ready for Owen and TK goes to the kitchen to make himself his own cup. Judd is fighting with the machine and holds his hands up in defeat.

“I give up. This thing hates me, I swear.” 

“Someone is in a mood” Marjan laughs from her spot in the kitchen where she’s cooking something for breakfast.

“You’re about to be in a mood when you hear the cap’s latest idea.” TK comments. He’s about to drink the coffee he just poured himself when he sees Judd’s puppy eyes. “Did Buttercup teach you that trick? I’m not rubbing your belly if that’s what you want.” The dog comes to his favorite firefighter and TK gives his coffee to Judd. “Fine, you can have mine, but only because my hands will be busy doing this.” He says while starting petting the dog.

“So, what’s that idea of yours, cap?” Paul asks.

“First, it’s not my idea, it’s the department.” Owen says. “Second, don’t listen to my grumpy son, it will be fun.”

“What would be fun?” Judd asks, definitely not convinced but his captain enthusiastic tone.

“Go ahead, tell them cap, we’ll see if they are all as thrilled as I am” TK says.

“I’m going to Los Angeles for a month.” 

“For a vacation or something?” Marjan asks.

“For a damn TV show,” TK cuts.

“A what?” they all ask pretty much at the same time.

“It’s a captain exchange. I will go to  a new station for a month and their captain will come here.”

“Maybe we’ll get a captain that knows how to read a book” Michelle comments, thinking about the first time they met. He didn’t realise that she had arrived. She has a wide smile on her face and Owen counts this as a sign that she’s enjoying the idea, maybe a little too much. “So, who’s that new captain I’m gonna share the station with?” 

“Robert Nash, from Los Angeles’ station 118” Owen replies and Judd and Paul share a look. They are definitely taking note of that guy name to google for info later. “The cameras would be here a few hours a day so you need to sign those contracts.”

“And if we refuse?” Judd asks.

“From what I heard, it’s not like we have much of a choice. But I’m sure you’ll love the new guy.”

“I’m sure we will. But what if we want to keep him at the end of the month?” Michelle teases. 

“Then I guess I’ll stay in LA, with a team that respects and loves me.”

“We love you,” Mateo says.

“Speak for yourself, probie. I might call Robert Dad within the first shift.” TK jokes.

“Remember everything you’ll do can be caught on camera. I’ll know everything. And I know at least one person will miss me.” Owen says. He walks toward Mateo who’s smiling proudly and puts his hand on his shoulder, before bending to stroke Buttercup “You’re my favorite teammate, buddy.” He says to the dog. The team laughs at the disappointed looks on the youngest member’s face before hearing the alarm.

“Do we know anything about the other firehouse?” Paul asks when they climbed into the truck.

“We? We don’t. But I do. They gave me a file with the resume of each member of the 118.”

“Come on, Cap. You’re not gonna share that with us?” His son says. 

“Nop. That’s what you get from not liking my ideas, son.”

Paul and Judd exchange another look and TK knows that they are plotting something. It’s not like Owen is the best at hiding secrets and they all know that file will be on the second drawer of his desk. They won’t even need a distraction to get it since their captain will spend half an hour in the mirror when they’ll get back to the station after this call.

Marjan is driving toward the emergency they are responding to when all the phones except Owen’s start buzzing.

Paul sent a bunch of pictures in their group chat. Owen knows this chat exists and assumes he’s the subject of half the jokes and memes they are sending but he loves that his team gets along so well so he really doesn’t care about it. This time, it’s not him they are laughing at. Paul just sent them pictures and infos about Robert Nash. TK tries not to smile when he reads the texts.

Paul 🚒:It’s on 😈

Cowboy Judd 🤠: Let’s the fun begins

[sambergscott]

i'd wait forever and a day for you

summary: post-trying // jake is on an undercover mission and amy thinks she’s pregnant. 

(you should read this just for the last line tbh)

Her period is late.

At first, she attributes it to stress. Jake is on a major undercover operation and while she is an incredibly proud, supportive wife, she knows how dangerous the situation is. He’s a great cop -- one of New York’s finest, in both senses of the word (...he’s hot) -- and he was so excited about getting this assignment. And she’s excited for him -- really, she is. But with updates filtering through to Captain Holt at a snail’s pace, it’s impossible not to worry about him, where he is, what he’s doing, whether he’s safe. Her cycle was shot to hell when he was in Witness Protection in Florida and it is entirely possible that history is repeating itself. 

Four days pass, Jake is still undercover and her period still has not arrived. She tries to blame Hitchcock’s God-awful Zika cologne disrupting her cycle again until she remembers that both Hitchcock and Scully have been off work all week with food poisoning. She even Googles why is my period late?, quickly closing the tab and deleting her browser history when the first result that pops up is pregnancy. 

There’s no way she’s pregnant. She refuses to even consider it for a second. 

Despite her absolute certainty that her uterus is as empty as it’s always been, when Rosa invites her for drinks with her new boyfriend, Amy opts for a non-alcoholic beer. 

“I’m driving,” she explains at Rosa’s raised eyebrows and swiftly changes the conversation. She finds out that Rosa’s boyfriend is a mechanic and they hit it off when she took her motorbike in for repair. She talks about Jake, about how he’s her favourite person in the entire world and how much she misses him (A Lot). He asks her what it’s like dating a cop and how to deal with the person you love putting themselves in danger every single day, which makes Rosa blush. Amy has never seen her blush before. 

“It’s difficult,” she says truthfully. She hates seeing her husband hurting and being thrown in prison for crimes he didn’t commit and having guns pointed at his head. It’s why she instated the short-lived ‘no dating cops’ rule, before Jake kissed her and she decided screw it. “But it’s worth it. When you really love them, it’s worth the pain. Every second.”

“That’s what I thought,” he responds, looking at Rosa the way Jake looks at Amy. 

She finishes her drink (which is so not as good as its alcoholic counterpart) and gathers her coat and purse. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it. See you Monday,” she directs at Rosa and “it was nice to meet you” at her boyfriend, who she has a feeling might be sticking around for a while. 

She opens up her Messages app and types out a full paragraph to Jake about how she met Rosa’s boyfriend before him and how he’s really nice and makes her blush! Rosa Disz!!! Blushing!!! She adds a gif of Jonathan Van Ness saying “can you believe?” and is about to click send when she realises his phone is on his nightstand where he left it before his mission and puts her phone back in her pocket in dismay. 

Once home, she gets changed into one of his NYPD t-shirts and climbs straight into bed, crying herself to sleep. 

She wakes up bright and early the next morning, a feat that is made significantly easier when there is no super cute husband to snuggle with. She showers, pulls on leggings and one of his plaid shirts and gets started on her Sunday Chores. Dancing around the apartment and pretending the mop is a microphone stand is a lot less fun on her own and she overcompensates, making herself dizzy and throwing up in the toilet she just cleaned. 

Without thinking, she finds herself at the bodega on the corner, staring at the selection of pregnancy tests. She grabs three of the safest looking ones and bites her lip when the guy congratulates her as she pays. She’s wasted hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests thus far and she knows she’s definitely wasting money on these ones too. She doesn’t need congratulating for making poor financial decisions and being bad at making babies, but she thanks him anyway. 

Back at the apartment, she dumps the paper bag on the kitchen counter to deal with later. She makes a cup of tea, calls her mom and fills in The Times crossword. The paper bag screams out to her the entire time. 

Reluctantly, she removes the boxes from the bag, fully intending to put them away in the back of the bathroom cabinet, out of sight. 

A niggling voice tells her to just open one and find out. 

She has the box open and the test in her hand when her phone buzzes with a text from Holt informing her that Jake is safe and the mission is going well. 

She drops the test like it burnt her skin. 

Jake. She can’t do this without him. If she is pregnant, she’d never forgive herself for finding out without him, for stripping him of that moment they’d been dreaming of forever. 

She’s waited this long, she can wait a few more days. And she’s probably not pregnant anyway. 

She ends up waiting two more weeks. 

It’s torture. 

She’s throwing up almost daily, crying in the break room for no apparent reason and her damn period has still not come. All symptoms which could be explained away by a lack of Jake Peralta and stress (due to missing the aforementioned Jake Peralta). 

Rosa corners her in the ladies bathroom and asks if she wants her to run out for more pregnancy tests.

��I already have some at home.”

“And?” She prompts. “Did you take them? Are you pregnant?”

“I don’t know.” She tries to play it off as no big deal, but Rosa knows her pretty well these days. 

“You’ve been trying for nearly a year, there’s a chance you are finally pregnant and you haven’t taken a test?”

“I can’t -- I want to -- Jake --.”

“Oh,” it dawns on her. 

“Yeah,” Amy sighs. “I’ve been staring at the tests every night but I just can’t. Not without him.  He’d be devastated.”

“He would not be devastated if you were pregnant, Amy Santiago.” 

“You know what I mean. He’d want to be have been there. I want him to be there.”

“I guess he needs to hurry the hell up and catch the bad guys then.”

He must have heard her because, hours later, the elevator door opens and there he is, exhausted and still in his weird undercover clothes, with the biggest smile on his face. 

She practically throws herself at him and, yeah, maybe she kisses him in a not-very-work-appropriate way and maybe some of the perps in the holding cell wolf whistle and maybe Charles is crying, but he is home and she can finally take those pregnancy tests. 

Holt allows her to clock out early (she makes a mental note to buy him a glass of Charbonnay the next time they go to Shaw’s) and Jake excitedly tells her all about the case, barely taking a second to breathe.

“Sounds fun, babe,” she says when he gets to the part of the story when he handcuffed the bad guys and then made out with this super hot chick in front of all his co-workers. 

“It was awesome,” he confirms. “What about you? What have you been up to? I missed you so much.”

“Aw,” she smiles, rubbing her hand over his thigh as he drives, “I missed you so much, too. As for what I’ve been up to, I’ve mostly just been kind of sick.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm. I... um... actually think I might be pregnant.”

He swerves suddenly, nearly crashing the car. Ignoring the cars around them honking, he focuses on his wife. “Pregnant?”

“My period is nearly three weeks late, I’ve been throwing up and I’ve been extra emotional,” she debriefs him. 

“Right. OK.” He takes a deep breath. “Have you taken a test?”

“I bought three but I couldn’t take them without you. It’s kind of been killing me.”

“Yeah, I bet,” he laughs, pulling over in front of their apartment. Neither of them move. “We should probably take them now.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. 

“You nervous?”

“Yeah,” she says again. She’s lost count of how many negative tests they’ve seen, how many times she’s felt that familiar crushing disappointment. The thought of going through it all over again... 

“I understand. We can wait, if you want. Or we could rip the band-aid off, let the scab bleed all over the place. I’ll hold your hand.”

There’s this reassuring look in his eyes that she’s seen a million times over from back when they were newly-assigned partners and he was reassuring her they would solve a tough case to that time on the roof of 397 Barton Street when he said he always knew she was going to be his boss to his speech at Hitchcock’s (second) divorce party when he told her that they are a family and that they can take whatever ‘next step’ she wants because as long as they’re together, he’s happy. 

Because it’s him, she nods. “Let’s do this.” 

The wait for the timer to go off seems longer than ever. She squeezes his hand so tight she thinks she might cut off the circulation, but he doesn’t complain, just keeps talking about how they’ll be fine, no matter what the result. 

The timer eventually goes off and she picks up the test and starts crying immediately. 

Jake hugs her tight and she can feel him crying too and this is so crazy and insane and good. 

“We’re having a baby,” he says in awe and it’s the best thing Amy’s ever heard. 

“We’re having a baby!” She repeats, half-laughing, half-crying. 

She yelps as he lifts her up and spins her around their tiny bathroom before kissing her tenderly. 

“I can’t believe this,” he exclaims when he pulls away, rubbing his hand over his face, “can you?”

“Nope.” She grins, kissing him again.

[sidebyside-withafriend]

Told You You’d Kill It (Romione)

Hermione is stressed about her upcoming history presentation; Ron provides his usual comforting presence. And cookies.

Muggle high school AU, almost entirely fluff, 1474 words 

read it on AO3 or read it here! 

“Ugh.” Ron shoved his books to one side and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in all different directions. Hermione hid a smile as Ron drew his hands inside his jumper sleeves.

Through a yawn, he continued, “I’m done. I’m so tired.” Probably from his basketball training, but schoolwork was also a struggle for him, she knew. And they’d been studying in the library for several hours now. No wonder he was exhausted. 

She glanced at the document on her laptop. “I’m nearly done. Do you mind if we stay here a little longer?” 

Ron yawned again. “Sure thing, ‘Mione.” He set both hands on the table and stayed there for a second, then pushed his chair backwards and hauled himself to standing. “On one condition.” 

“What’s that?” 

He walked around to the other side of the table. “Can you stand up for a sec?” 

She wasn’t quite sure what he had in mind, but he was hard to say no to like this, all sleepy and soft. So she stood up and he planted himself in the chair. Realising his meaning, she smiled. 

“This way you can work on your presentation, and I can hug you,” he explained. 

She settled herself on his lap. His arms went around her waist from behind, sending a delightful shiver up her spine. She adjusted the position of her laptop and set to typing again. Her presentation was still a week away, but it was an important one. 

Ron lifted an arm from around her. She hadn’t realised how warm his embrace was until his arm had moved, leaving her waist oddly cold. With his now-free hand, he started to rub slow circles between her shoulder blades, and she turned her head slightly as though to try and see what he was doing. 

“You’re stressed, ‘Mione. You’re all tense,” he said. “What’s going on?” 

“This presentation is big. I have to get this script right.” She hoped he’d understand. His attitude towards such things was a little more blase, but… 

“You’re going to kill it.” His hand kept tracing those gentle circles on her back. “I know you will. You’re amazing at history.” 

Hopefully. Hopefully she could convince the moderating teacher of that, too. 

Ron returned his arm to her waist, locking his fingers in front of her. “How much left to write?” 

“A couple of paragraphs.” She knew it, but glanced at her outline just to be sure. “Then a conclusion, and then I’ll be done.” 

“Ok. Smash out those paragraphs. Kick their butts. Whatever. You got this.” He let out another barely stifled yawn. 

“I’ll try to be quick.” She smiled. 

Ron leant his head against her shoulder and shifted a little, settling into a more comfortable position. He was so warm, and she almost felt like she was disappearing into his long arms. Not that she minded. Having him right there at her back loosened some of her tense muscles. His was a solid, comforting presence. She let go of her clenched jaw—he was always reminding her not to do that—and gave her laptop a determined stare. These last two paragraphs would be manageable. And they would be good. 

He’d started snoring, a soft rumble that she both heard and felt. Normally she complained about any noise while she was trying to study—Ron could definitely attest to that statement—but somehow this sound was cosy, almost homely. In the otherwise silent library, just behind his snoring, she could hear his heartbeat too, a steady pulse against her back. 

Trying not to move too much, she typed a sentence, erased two words, added a clause, wrote another sentence. Then another. And another. 

~ 

He ran a hand through his hair and realised he hadn’t properly cleaned up after that flour bag had exploded in his face. Leaving food tech class messy was pretty normal, but still. He swiped at it again and returned his attention to the numbers on the classroom doors. Hermione was giving her presentation in D34, he knew, but he hadn’t been in this part of the school very much, and he couldn’t see D34. D12, 13, and 14, yes, but no D34. He could picture her, 5’2” of passion and brains as she lectured the class on African history. That was her favourite part of the class, so of course she’d chosen it for her presentation. He’d seen her in the corridor briefly this morning and she’d been visibly stressed; some of her fingernails had borne chewed edges, and she hadn’t been able to stand still. The topic meant a lot to her, he knew. But he also knew that she was going to kill it; she could lecture on a subject with a single-minded drive that he found both terrifying and kind of hot. And she knew her material back to front. She knew everything back to front. When he’d called her the other night she said she’d been practising with her parents and another friend, and that she hoped it was enough. He knew it would be. He’d heard the speech too, and it was awesome. The teachers were going to love it. 

“Ron!” The voice came from behind him and he spun around. Hermione was pelting up the corridor towards him, her curly hair flying wildly out behind her. Most importantly, she was smiling broadly, and he grinned too. Her expression could only mean one thing. 

When she reached him, he swept her into a hug so excitedly he lifted her off her feet. Laughing, she clung to his shoulders. 

“See,” he told her, still holding her firmly around the waist, “told you you’d kill it.” 

“One of the teachers, he said some really nice stuff to me on my way out,” she said. “And all the class seemed to like it and I can’t be a hundred percent sure but I think that has to mean—” 

“That you did an amazing job? Yes.” He set her down. “I knew that already. Because you’re amazing and you’re super smart.” 

Her eyes sparkled. “Thanks. I guess I found it hard to believe until I’d done it. I was a bit stressed.” 

“Really?” He straightened her uniform collar. “I had no idea.” 

She laughed. “Sorry. I hope I didn’t drive you too crazy.” 

“Nope. You’re smart and you want to do well. Don’t ever dumb yourself down for me. I love you as you are.” He bent down and kissed her forehead. “I love you, ‘Mione. Even when you’re stressed and a little out of it.” 

“I love you too.” She threw her arms around his waist. “Thanks for believing in me.” 

He grinned. “I know how absolutely incredible you are. Even when you forget.” 

She pulled back a little and, with a small smile, said, “You have chocolate on your nose.”  

“Whoops. Food tech.” He rubbed his nose. 

“Here, let me.” 

He crouched obligingly down and let her clean the chocolate off. “We made cookies. You want one? They’re reserved only for people who killed their presentations.” He swung his bag off his shoulder and rummaged in it for the warm box. 

Hermione took two; she shoved one right into her mouth and let out a small sigh of happiness. “These are amazing,” she said, once she’d swallowed. “Thank you.” 

He also happened to know that sometimes when she got stressed her appetite disappeared, so he always tried to bring her food after the stressful event. It was important to make sure she ate enough. “I was wondering if you wanted to take this afternoon off studying,” he suggested. “Go see a movie?” 

“Little Women?” Her eyes lit up. She’d wanted to see that movie for weeks, but hadn’t found the time or the headspace. 

He grinned. “Yep. I got us tickets.” 

She opened her mouth, looking mildly conflicted. 

He cut her off. “No studying this afternoon. You’ve earned an afternoon off.” 

“I suppose there were only one or two things I was going to do today…” she admitted. 

“Do ‘em tomorrow. Nothing’s due for like a month, right?” 

She smiled. “No. No due dates coming up soon.” He might not have had her head for memorising historical dates, but he knew her assessment calendar as well as he knew his own. Possibly better. It was important that he be able to plan his cookie baking. 

He returned his bag to his shoulder and jokingly offered her his arm. “Shall we?” 

“Where are we going?” 

“Shopping centre where the bus stops.” 

She nodded and slipped her hand into his. “Thank you. Again.” 

He was going to suggest she could call it repayment for helping him with his English a couple of weeks ago, but really he was just as excited about this as she was. Spending time with his incredible girlfriend was his favourite thing to do. 

[princesskokichi]

kokichi bringing shuichi back with the necronomicon

WE LOVE ANGST HERE GOOD KOKICHI SIMP ANON

also this is set place in a time where shuichi died in the killing game, and kokichi did not take it very well 

i wrote a short about how kokichi deals with shuichi’s death immediately after he dies, but it kinda sucks so i won’t be posting it unless i get quite a bit of feedback for it, but if you want the short, message me and i’ll send it to you ! 

also this is written in paragraph form and not listed butttt you know how it be - mod kokichi

It was completely unlike him to seek refuge in something as stupid as the Necronomicon. After all, it was just so,, stupid, it was so stupid. He knew something like this wouldn't work, simply because it was impossible to raise the dead

Even though he knew that, why did he steal the book from Shuichi's room? And why was there a little doll made out of his bedsheets that he made all last night, sitting there staring at him with button eyes? With Shuichi's hat covering its entire face, the doll being far too small to actually wear Shuichi's hat, he set it upright on his bed, making sure that it wasn't going to fall over and potentially fuck everything up. He'd written Shuichi's name on the back of the doll in case monokuma or whoever the fuck was orchestrating this couldn't understand who he wanted to bring back

He wanted Shuichi Saihara back, more than anything else. He wanted him back more than he wanted to end this godforsaken killing game.

Kokichi had read and reread the rules over repeatedly in his head, trying desperately not to screw this up.

Not that it would work, of course.

Who would believe in such a stupid thing?

But when you're out of options, sometimes the things you have to stoop down to make no sense at all.

He carefully burned the entire book down into nothing but ashes, collecting those ashes into a small container he got from the kitchen area. Throughout this entire thing, he set his bars low, but still, there was this feeling in his heart that maybe, maybe this might just work. Maybe he could get his Shumai back.

God, this entire thing was so stupid, so why did he feel the need to continue?

Kokichi wanted - no he needed - to exhaust all options before giving up hope on Shuichi, and that wasn't like him at all. He was never one to cling to hope or belief. What happens in the world is what happens in the world and nothing will change that, but if blind and unnecessary hope could somehow bring his only friend back to life, then so be it.

So what if Shuichi had told him he was always going to be alone? Or if Shuichi most likely never thought about him like a friend but more as an enemy, just as everyone else did.

Whether Kokichi had lied to himself to believe Shuichi was his friend or not, he wanted him back. He,, needed him back. He needed Shuichi back so much, the desire wrapped around his heart and choked it mercilessly. Shuichi had to finish this killing game. He had to because no one else was going to be able to pull through. No one else could finish the killing game but Shuichi, the Ultimate Detective.

No, Shuichi wouldn't finish the killing game as the Ultimate Detective, but rather as himself. As the boy that liked reading novels at three a.m and could have been found at the library at any point in time if it wasn't for Kaede and Rantaro's deaths that still haunted him in his dreams. He was going to end this stupid fucking game as Shuichi. And Kokichi was determined to help, no matter the consequences of his actions.

If everyone else hated him in this game, if even Shuichi turned his back on Kokichi, he didn't care. Getting the only trustworthy person to play this game alive again was the only way.

Because of this need, he continued overworking himself, although he didn't know he was overworked or mentally exhausted. As an all-nighter turned into an all-weeker, and now he'd come to the only conclusion that he could think of and it was nearing its final stages, he didn't know that he was running on nothing but the sheer hope that this works.

As he sprinkled the ashes over the effigy he'd created, and repeated Shuichi's name three times, just as it was told in the Necronomicon. This was the hard part, the waiting.

Kokichi closed his eyes tightly, resting his head on his bed. He was afraid to talk or think about anything other than resurrecting Shuichi in case it screwed everything up.

He waited.

And waited.

He must've been waiting like that for at least an hour or so because the sun was rising up from his window, not that he could see it. Kokichi breathed out a sigh, and as he opened his eyes, he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

" Uhm-"

He spun his head around, coming face to face with the person he'd been trying so hard to bring back.

" Saihara-chan- You're-"

"I'm sorry, do I know you? Where am I, actually?" Shuichi looked around the room, his eyes wide as he tried to take in all of the strange objects around him that Kokichi had collected and put in his room. "Uh, last I checked my teacher said I was going to school. This isn't,, a school. So where am I?"

"You're in my room, Saihara-chan. You're the transfer student at this fucking school. You're the Ultimate Detective, you know."

"I am? Last I checked I was just a regular high school student."

"No, you just haven't gotten your first memory, I swear. This will all start to make sense when we talk to Monokuma and-"

"Mono,,, Monokuma? What kind of name is that?"

It took at least three days for Shuichi to finally be able to introduce himself back into the group. There was so much that he needed to learn in such a short amount of time that he was practically confined to the classroom in the beginning of the hallway the entire time, only really allowed to eat some food and sleep when nighttime came. Because of the short time frame he had to learn everything, no one knew he was back in high school.

Kokichi didn't know how it happened, but during these three days, while Shuichi was learning stuff about the school and the way things worked around here, they almost became,, actual friends. Shuichi was leaning on Kokichi to explain what was happening around him when he didn't understand what the Monokubs or what Monokuma was talking about.

They truly bonded, probably. So why did Kokichi feel so bad?

Ah, yeah, because he brought him back into the killing game where Shuichi would live in agony until he found out how to escape. It was a cruel fate to put him back into, but Kokichi needed him there since he didn't know how to end the killing game himself, and as long as Shuichi was there, there wouldn't be any more killings, right?

Right?

There were expected conflicted reactions when Shuichi walked through the front door, wearing his hat to cover a little bit of his expression.

Maki and Kaito had the worst reactions though, screaming in horror once they saw Shuichi and realized that this wasn't an elaborately pulled prank; the Shuichi in front of them was the real Shuichi.

"Sh-Sh-Sh-Shuichi??" Kaito screamed, his face contorting to that hideous face he makes when he's terrified, "I thought- I thought you were dead."

Monokuma popped up out of thin air, scaring Shuichi shitless. "That's because the Necronomicon brought him back ~ ! Ah, isn't that fun? Perhaps it wasn't a waste of a motive at alllll!"

"H-holy crap the bear can teleport?? Why didn't you ever tell me this Oma-chan?"

Maki took a step forward, her hand up as if she wanted to touch his shoulder to make sure he was real. "Why- why are you talking to Oma like he's a friend? He- he-"

"Sorry, sorry! Nishishi~ It's not like I wanted to see your reaction or anything like that."

Shuichi's shoulders slumped down a little bit as he pouted and crossed his arms over his chest, "Jeeeez, Oma-kun, you're so mean sometimes."

This isn't Shuichi.

Kokichi scratched the back of his head, smiling, He teetered back and forth, shifting his weight between his feet and swaying his head a little bit. "Yeah, you're right. Hey, after this, want to go to the library? There are a few things I really want to check out there. Plus, I heard that there's lots of good novels."

"That sounds boring, but alright."

"Ah, then perhaps the gym? There's an awesome dojo around here."

"A gym? That sounds more entertaining, I say sure!"

Everyone had the same look of distraught strewn across their faces. Maki winced, clenching her fists tightly as she shied away from everyone. Kaito's eyes were cast to the ground, unable to make eye contact with anyone in the room as he followed Maki out of the room silently.

Kokichi wanted to hide away forever, practically drowning in these overwhelming emotions that not even he could repress. He wasn't such an emotional person - that wasn't his character. So why did this revelation hurt so much? Was it because he was just playing dumb and trying to convince himself that it had worked? Was it because he lied, to himself and to the people around him?

And.

Who had Kokichi "brought" back to life?

[duskholland]

Hiiii! I’m about to send a bunch of these about Peter Oneshots even though you’ll probably be annoyed after I’m done, but 🤷‍♀️. Anyways, here several come!~ ♉️

Take My Jacket (Take My Whole Heart) is so freaking adorable!! I kept going awe throughout the entire piece. Peter would be so forgetful that he’d forget what day it is, gosh that was just adorable. Him confessing because he wanted to explain, gosh too sweet! “And before leading him into your apartment, you move back to steal one final, lingering kiss. He takes you fully into his arms as he pulls you close, and you realise that it’s been the perfect end to a rocky night.” Toooooo cute!!!❤️❤️~♉️

Patching Things up is perfect! It’s angsty, adorable, and flufffffy! “I didn’t tell you what was going on because I didn’t want to ruin the only bit of peace I had left in my life,” Peter starts, voice full of a quiet trepidation.“ His whole quote here is perfect, it’s so deep and real, and easy to connect to. Honestly, I love that it goes from best friends to ex best friends to lovers, and I love how real it feels. I think that this one may be my favorite Peter piece so far. Not sure yet.~♉️

The Truth is an adorable fic honestly, I love that it’s about their six month anniversary because it’s sweet. I love that she forgot to call, so she walks in and her first thought is, “Am I getting robbed by Spider-Man” because dude me tooo! “You take another step forward, realisation dawning over you. Spider-Man isn’t robbing you, he’s setting up your date. And Spider-Man isn’t Spider-Man, he’s… He’s Peter.” Such a soft little spot of realisation and I love it. This was such a sweet fic!❤️~♉️

Balcony. Okay, this one hurt me. I cried. Oh my gosh. The angst of this just noo. “...The moment Peter’s photo flashes up on the screen, you feel your heart constrict and shatter in your chest, a hot surge of fiery heat bursting through your lungs as you gasp for air.” That entire paragraph just hurt. It hurts! But then the reunion and sweetness and ugh. “He’s there. God, he’s… He’s right there.” Gosh, the way this just broke me. The grief was so clear and painful. Too many emotions.❤️~♉️

Okay, Breaking Windows is such an adorable fic. Like oh my gosh. Thor and Tony called their little crushes out, and then it became real. Lord loved this piece! Then Peter remembers them talking about him saving her, and dude he saves her, what?! So cute! ““‘S okay. Said I’d save you, didn’t I?” He replies. He reaches out and pulls at some of the stringy web that still covers your body, and winces. “This might take a bit of work, though.”” This ❤️❤️❤️ just an adorable fic!~♉️

9.45 p.m. is the cutest slow burn but quick burn fic ever. I love that Peter, as Spider-Man, goes straight to see her when he gets hurt. I love that he asks her what her favorite flowers are, then the next day he comes in without the suit, and brings the flowers. “And it makes you feel truly seen, for possibly the first time in your life.” That sentence hits so hard it’s insane because I want to feel this! Ugh too many emotions again. I love how soft it is, and how she comes to realise it. ❤️~♉️

Okay, I’m going to take a small break to finish reading the Oneshots again, but just so you know, they’re AMAZING! I just wanted to let you know how amazing your work is, and I love the details because that’s where you get me each and every time! Also, I live in the states and should be asleep, but I’m reading your works so thank you. It’s been awhile since I’ve been so obsessed in reading fics that I’ve stayed up late just to finish. It feels great! Hope you’re well, and sending hugs to you!~♉️

-------

oh my god I can’t even tell you the range of emotions I went through when I was reading these 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so so so so so so so so so so so much????????? omg. you must’ve spent so long reading my fics to come up with all of this 🥺🥺 thank you thank you thank you. sending you the biggest virtual hug rn 💕💞💗💞💞💗

[iamartemisday]

Pepperony Week Day One- 5+1 Things

A/N: So I posted this last night, but I was informed that one of my tags wasn’t spelled correctly. Somehow, in my attempts to fix it, I managed to erase the entire post. That’s what I get for trying to fix it on mobile. >>

So here we go one more time. Hope you enjoy!

**

5 times Tony didn't realize he was in love with Pepper, and 1 time he did.

When Tony made a random low-level administrative assistant his new PA, it was mostly for the novelty.

Here was a woman confident enough to break into his office and tell him to his face that he was wrong. Observant enough to catch a mistake not even he, the guy who built a working robot before his balls dropped, had spotted.

Plus, she was a former model. In magazines and everything. Whoever said models were dumb could go eat their ignorant words with some ketchup on top.

Virginia Potts, newly baptized as Pepper, spent her first day on the job familiarizing herself with her new responsibilities, organizing the photos on her desk, and signing a truly immense amount of paperwork. Seriously, Tony had to talk to Obidiah about switching to digital. What kind of futurist was he killing all those defenseless trees?

Given his track record with PAs, he expected Ms. Potts to last a month, maybe two. Not a crack against her, but he was a handful and he knew it. When she inevitably quit, he'd have a generous severance package and a glowing reference ready for her. Now it was just a matter of how long before his partying, all-night science binges, and frequent overnight guests of the female variety wore her down.

Three months later, she was in his office while he slept off a hangover, notes in hand as she briefed him on the upcoming board meeting.

"Mr. Daniels in HR needs to talk to you about calculating this year's Christmas bonuses. Mrs. Prowitt in accounting just had a baby and you need to send out your personal congratulations-"

"Potts…"

"You still have paperwork to sign for the merger with Rushcorp-"

"Potts, please…"

"And R&D has taken issue with the blueprints you gave them for the new missile prototype. They're saying the flight system isn't feasible with our current technology. You might want to have a word with them."

"Potts! I'm dying!"

He struggled to lift his head and look into her eyes with all the pain in his formerly inebriated soul. As usual, she was unsympathetic.

"This is why I told you not to go out partying on a Tuesday night," she said.

"As if you never partied on a Tuesday."

"No, Mr. Stark, I didn't. I waited for the weekend." She started for the door. "I'll get you some water and ginger ale. You'll be ready to go by noon."

"I could also not go."

"That's true, but you will" Her phone rang and she ignored Tony's moaning to answer it. "Hello? Oh, yes Mr. Daniels, I was just about to call you… yes, he will be ready in time for the meeting. I just confirmed it with him."

She left and Tony whimpered in agony. This must be what abandoned kittens on the side of the road felt like.

"I thought I hired an assistant," he mumbled. "Instead I got a new mom."

He almost immediately cringed at the idea. Potts was not at all like his mother. She wasn't even a really strict big sister.

No, she was something else. Something he couldn't pinpoint.

Boy, did he hate not knowing the answer.

**

"Potts, we should go out sometime."

Surprisingly, he wasn't drunk. In fact, he'd been sober for the last six days while they negotiated a contract with a new satellite company. That was a personal best for him and he deserved some recognition, dammit.

"We are out," she said, and indeed they were in the lounge at the Plaza hotel waiting for their drinks to arrive.

"I mean on a date," Tony said. "You know, with dinner and dancing and no business deals. Just the two of us."

Pepper sighed like this wasn't the first time he'd asked. And, to be fair, it wasn't. "Mr. Stark, you know why we can't date."

"Do I? Remind me real quick."

She rolled her eyes. "First of all, it's against company policy. Even if I didn't work directly under you, we're still in the same department and fraternization among employees never works out well. Second, dating your PA would reflect badly on us with the press. Finally, maintaining a professional environment in the workplace is crucial to overall productivity and good financial health."

Tony whistled. "Lot of big words there. You've done your homework, Potts."

"I have to," she said, but couldn't hide a slight smile. "If I don't, who will?"

"Good point." Tony leaned back with his hands under his hand. "It's funny, though. I didn't hear anything in there about you not wanting to date me."

Pepper opened her mouth, but none of her pre-established responses to his flirting came forth. Instead, she blushed heavily and turned away to tap on her phone.

Tony chuckled to himself. She was kind of cute when she was flustered.

Not that she wasn't always cute, but…

**

Even though Pepper wouldn't date him (and all jokes aside he did begrudgingly see her point), that didn't mean she wouldn't date at all.

Five years had passed since the pepper spray incident. There had been a few guys in that time, or so he assumed. He was too busy keeping track of his own one night stands to pay attention to Pepper's.

One day, out of the blue, she asked to leave work two hours early. The last time she did that was three years ago.

"Hitting the town, Potts?" He meant it as a joke, but also not. Tony wasn't a genius for nothing and he'd noticed the changes in her make-up and the unfamiliar perfume lingering in the air.

Pepper cleared her throat. "As a matter of fact, yes. I'm going on a date tonight and I need to get my hair done."

He wanted to say her hair was perfect the way it was because it was perfect and whoever this guy was probably didn't even notice. He also wanted to say he needed her to stay late because they had some extra paperwork to go through. Surely he had something buried in one of his desk drawers for her to look at.

"Oh, that's nice," he said, leaning back in his big plush chair. "Didn't know you were seeing someone."

"We're casual at the moment."

"Just looking for a midnight ride, huh?"

Pepper glared at him, but it wasn't her offended face. More like her 'I think you're funny but I'm not going to say it because that will just fuel your ego so I'm going to pretend to be offended' face. He'd become an expert in differentiating between the two.

"I'll be sure to have all my tasks done before I leave," she said.

"As if you need to tell me," Tony snorted. He read some papers while Pepper went to her office. Fifteen minutes later, he was still on the same paragraph and needed to stretch his legs. "So… what's his name?"

Pepper glanced at him, then went back to typing. "Craig."

Craig and Pepper… Crepper?

God no...

"What's he do?" Tony fought to keep his posture loose. "Let me guess. He's a genius billionaire in charge of his own company-"

"He's an investment banker."

"Fun. Where are you going?"

"To dinner and maybe a movie."

"You know what you're going to see?"

"We'll decide when we get there." The intercom beeped and Pepper pressed the button to silence it. "Looks like your two-thirty is here."

Tony barely paid attention during his appointment with… whoever this guy was. Something something missile guidance revamping something. His eyes always trailed back to Pepper behind a wall of glass. When she left for the night, he hung around for half an hour before going home. It was just too quiet without her.

A few months later, Pepper asked for another early day.

"Sure thing," Tony said, chewing on his bottom lip. "Got a hot date with Craig?"

"No, just dinner with my parents. It's my mom's birthday tomorrow," she explained. "Actually, Craig and I decided to just be friends. I think he's seeing someone else now."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

Tony tried his best not to grin as he said it, but he was grinning for the whole rest of the day.

**

After Tony completed renovations of his Malibu home, he started doing more work from home. This meant Pepper had to come over more often than not. Aside from a requisite 'want to see the master bedroom' quip, Tony had allowed her space in his massive home. She had an office and a guest room complete with a private balcony for when she wanted to work outside.

Being as she was, most of their private time centered around business. Making deals, planning meetings, arranging his schedule, and lots of other fun and exciting activities. On weekdays, she arrived promptly in the morning and left before sundown. Unless it was quarterly report time or they were on the verge of closing a huge deal, she never deviated from this schedule.

So it was strange when he left the basement one night at midnight after five hours working on his new convertible to find Pepper asleep on the couch.

Her tablet and some papers were on the floor where she'd dropped them. One arm was tucked under her head, no pillows in sight. She'd taken her shoes off, and while Tony was no foot fetishist, her new pedicure was lovely.

She sighed and shifted in her sleep as Tony gently squeezed a throw pillow under her head and draped a blanket over her. He would've carried her to the guest room, but Pepper was typically a light sleeper and putting her in an awkward position might mean she wouldn't come over as much.

He gathered her things and stacked them neatly on the coffee table. Hopefully, those pages were in the correct order, but if they weren't, she'd have them right in under a second.

Tony stepped back to watch her chest rise and fall. Her face was so peaceful. Not like the cool serenity she used to calmly destroy brown-nosing idiots at meetings. It was like he was finally seeing Pepper in her natural state of being.

He liked it.

But of course, he liked it. He liked her.

And maybe he shouldn't be staring at her while she slept. That was kind of creepy.

**

He was never going to see Pepper again.

'No,' he told himself, 'don't do that. Stay positive. Stay positive.'

The problem with staying positive is that it's hard to do when you're running through the desert with no food or water and you've just escaped captivity and watched the man you spent three months forming an emotional bond with die before your eyes.

Suffice to say, this was not Tony's day.

He'd only briefly considered what would happen if the escape was successful. Best case scenario, he got himself and Yinsen out and they found a village less than a mile away with friendly locals who had food and a satellite phone handy. With both of those things now off the table, Tony stumbled through the sand, careful not to run too fast and waste energy. If he had to guess, the temperature was roughly a thousand degrees Fahrenheit. He'd probably sweated another five pounds off.

The one good thing about being lost in the desert was it gave him time to think. About all his mistakes and all his missteps. All the things he never realized he should've done.

He should've told Rhodey how much their friendship meant to him. Tony had been a pain in his ass since college and yet Rhodes never abandoned him.

He should've told his father he loved him. Twenty years he spent ignoring and pushing away that one simple truth, and now he couldn't avoid it. Howard Stark was an asshole, but so was Tony Stark. Like father, like son as they say.

He should've told Pepper… God, the things he should've told Pepper. Listing them would kill hours of time while the elements slowly killed him. He should've told her how important she was, not just to Stark Industries, but to him. How much he appreciated everything she did for him. How happy he was to see her every morning. How thankful he was that she didn't quit after two months and take that severance package. How much better she deserved than to be in his shadow. How much he truly cared about her from the bottom of his heart.

How much he…

God, this heat was unbearable. Couldn't even think straight.

When he saw her again after hours in an air-conditioned plane, being fed jello packets and wanting nothing more than a hunk of real meat, none of what he should've said came to mind.

"Your eyes are red. A few tears for your long lost boss?"

It would have to do.

**

It should've been another quiet post-return evening in.

Tony didn't feel like flying that night, otherwise, he'd be out on the town already. The plan was to watch cheesy sci-fi movies and laugh at all the mistakes until he fell asleep. Now he was trapped in his own body, eyes unable to close, mouth unable to open. He stared up at a monster wearing a familiar face as he literally ripped his heart out.

"Oh Tony, this is your ninth symphony," Obidiah said, among other bullshit villain monologue crap Tony couldn't hear over his own internal screaming. "This is your legacy. A new generation of weapons with this at its heart."

'Fuck you,' Tony wanted so badly to say. 'Fuck you, you lying son of a bitch. Fuck you fuck you fuck you-'

"Too bad you had to involve Pepper in this. I would've preferred that she'd live."

Someone once said there were five or six profound moments in everyone's life. Tony didn't know who that someone was or if he didn't just make that whole thing up in his head. Whatever the case, this was one of those moments.

Never before had he wanted so badly to kill someone. Not just kill them, but make them suffer the worst sort of torment. He wanted to rip Stane apart with his bare hands, destroy him from the inside out. Make him regret even thinking about threatening Pepper.

He focused all his strength on his legs, making his toes wiggle. The ringing in his ears was fading, but not fast enough.

'You can do this,' said the voice of Pepper in his ears. 'You can do this.'

His fingers twitched and he slowly clenched a fist.

He wouldn't lose one more person he loved.

[frankenby]

Okay, I’ve been playing Pokémon Shield recently so consider this FE3H/Pokemon game crossover idea I had for a moment.

Characters:

As of right now, I’m only going to put who I think would be gym leaders/Elite Four people. I may or may not have given every student (and some other characters) pokémon teams with four pokémon each, except if people don’t care about this then I’m not going to do much more with it except for my own personal enjoyment.

Elite Four

Sothis: Champion I think it’s pretty obvious why she’d be the champion. They’re very respected and powerful, but she’s still given the opportunity to be elusive and mysterious.

Rhea: Headmaster of Trainer School (Explained in plot) and Elite Four Member She’s not as powerful as the champion, but she is still quite powerful. I’m thinking she’d specialize in psychic pokémon or dragon pokémon.

Lambert: Elite Four Member Dimitri will be well-known and respected, considering how powerful his father is. He will also have a lot to live up to. I’m leaning towards making Lambert specialize in ice type pokémon because Faerghus=cold and cold=ice.

Patricia: Elite Four Member Again, having your mother be on the Elite Four will make you well-known. Also, it’s plot important. I feel like she’d specialize in fire type pokémon because... you know. Flame Emperor.

Reigan: Elite Four Member Claude’s grandpa doesn’t have a name, so I feel like he’d go by his last name. Again again, being on the Elite Four will mean that Reigan’d grandson is well-known. I kind of feel like he’d be an electric type gym leader because... I don’t know. Yellow?

Gym Leaders

So I would make the nobles gym leaders, but also there are too many nobles and not enough gym leaders. Here’s what I have so far. My reasoning may be garbage (as you can probably tell from the section about the Elite Four)

Rodrigue: Ice Type Gym Leader I will say it again. Faerghus=cold, cold=ice. I just feel like Rodrigue should be a gym leader.

Holst Gonriel: Fire Type Gym Leader Holst was a General in the Alliance and was respected for that, so it makes sense that he’d be a gym leader. Why fire? I don’t know, but I’ve connected dots that aren’t actually connected in anyway to justify myself for this long, so... He probably has pink hair, pink=light red red=hot hot=fire

Seteth: Psychic Type Gym Leader Okay, I swear I had a reason for making him a psychic type gym leader and not a dragon type one, but I can’t remember it. Please just trust me. Or don’t. Please feel free to argue with me, actually. Also, Flayn would most definitely be like Wally and want to be a trainer, but Seteth would be like, “No. it is too dangerous, but you may have this Togepi.” Then Byleth would beat him and he’d be like, “Having my ass kicked by this child has made me rethink my view point. You may be a pokémon trainer now, Flayn.” And yes, Flayn is referred to as his daughter in this.

Miklan: Rock Type Gym Leader I don’t know. I don’t know why I want him to be one. I don’t know why rocks. Just rocks. “Not bad for your kind. A bunch of rocks.”

Cornelia: Ghost Type Gym Leader Tell me this woman wouldn’t have a Mismagius and/or a Hattrene. It just fits.

Jeralt: Steel Type Gym Leader I originally had this as Gilbert, but I feel like it would make more sense for it to be Jeralt. I guess maybe the reason for him sending Byleth to school/them moving would be so he could be a gym leader. Also, steel makes sense because he was a knight, I guess?

Ladislava: Flying Type Gym Leader I love her, okay? So I put her in here. What are you gonna do about it? Ground me? You can’t. Speaking of ground, I was going to make her a ground type gym leader, but it makes more sense for her to be a flying type because she’s got a wyvern, so flying type.

Judith: Fighting Type Gym Leader Again, I love her. It just makes sense to me for her to be here. Why fighting? She is the hero of Daphnel. She’s good at fighting.

Plot:

I came up with this at midnight when 1/6th of my brain cell was functioning. It’s probably got things in it that don’t fit the lore/are just not good and I’m sorry. :( If you want to add ideas onto anything I’ve put on here, please do. Feedback would make me very happy. Also, I have no idea what I’m using this plot for, it just exists because I made it and I wanted to share it.

What if there was an optional school for those interested in trainers? I’m actually pretty sure something similar exists but I could be wrong. Prior to their journey, they could receive a starter Pokémon and be taught how to strategize. Byleth and Jeralt could move to the nearby village a few months after the school year begins, but Jeralt could convince the headmaster—Rhea—to let Byleth join. Byleth could recieve their starter Pokémon I don’t know what the starters would be and battle against someone maybe Jeritza or Catherine or Shamir idk as a sort of entrance exam.

Upon passing, Byleth could be allowed to join one of the Three Houses. I’ve been considering naming the houses after the legendary dogs, the legendary birds, or the lake guardians.

(The paragraphs in italics are just talking about the potential names for the houses, so you can skip it if you don’t care about that.)

So I feel like Entei, Raikou, and Suicune could definitely work, but I’m not entirely sure how I feel about naming them something like, “The Entei House.” You could, of course, use their titles, but that would be something like, “The Volcano Pokemon House” and im not sure about that either. Still, I know Arceus is rumored to have played a part in these Pokémon becoming legendaries, and Arceus is going to play a part in the plot.

Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres could also work, but again, the names would be weird. “The Articuno House” Or “The Ice Bird House.” I just feel like those are weird, however I do like that the types for each House are different.

Then there’s Uxie, Azelf, and Mesprit. Their colors match pretty well, and the titles of these Pokémon could definitely relate two the House leaders. Uxie is the knowledge Pokémon and it is also yellow. Claude���s color scheme is yellow, and he’s very witty. Azelf is the willpower Pokémon and it is also blue. Dimitri’s color scheme is blue and Dimitri often has to restrain his impulses and strength. Mesprit is the emotion Pokémon and it is also pink, which is pretty close to red and it has red gems. Edelgard’s color scheme is red. The only issue with this is that Edelgard isn’t any more emotional than other characters, or at least that is what I feel. If anyone has anything to add regarding this, please feel free to say so! (Especially if I’m wrong about my Pokémon lore.)

The house Byleth picks would determine who their rival is (it’s the house leader) and who they would interact with more often. (Trainers sometimes travel in groups, so it wouldn’t be uncommon for them to see all of their old classmates hanging out.)

Again, the plot of the story was created by me at 12:00 am after reading a few bulbapedia articles on Pokémon stuff so that I could find the correct Pokémon to use.

So Sothis is the champion. Not many people have the opportunity to face her, and she’s very secretive. No one knows how long she’s been the champion, either. So I wanted her to have befriended a legendary Pokémon, but I also wanted her to be immortal (or at least I wanted her to have lived for a long time.) So, I decided to have her befriend Jirachi, the Pokémon that grants wishes. She became the Pokémon champion, but as she got older she wished that she could keep living and defend her spot as champion until someone defeated her in battle. Her wish was granted, and at some point she had children, Rhea and Seteth. I’m not incorporating her other children and I’m keeping their names, too. The Elite Four are the only people who really speak to Sothis, along with her son and granddaughter. They are obviously suspicious of why she looks so young and how she’s been there so long, so Sothis tells them the truth. When Rhea finds out, she is determined to protect her, knowing that being defeated in battle will mean she will die. Patricia, however, wants this power for herself. She secretly forms and becomes the leader of a team called Team Flame wow so creative I know who’s goal is to obtain the azure flute, capture Arceus, then use it to defeat Sothis, as Patricia is unable to defeat on her own. Cornelia, Ladislava, and Jeritza will also be members of Team Flame. Once Byleth defeats/captures Arceus, Sothis will ask Patricia if she really wants to be immortal and watch as all of her loved ones leave her behind. Patricia is remorseful, and Sothis asks her to return to the Elite Four. Once Byleth defeats Sothis, she peacefully fades away and Jirachi also departs.

That’s all I have for right now, but I would love for there to be an open discussion about FE3H/Pokémon because I love both and they are all that’s on my mind right now.

[storytell]

@healieas​ asked

❔

1. ronny schiatto --- this is the answer that keeps me up at night because i think ronny and elias are very similar and yet VERY different. both of them have eye powers (although ronny is LITERALLY omnipotent and all-powerful with the exception of traveling/seeing through time being the one thing he Cannot do), but ronny is a very passive observer in the affairs of humanity and only really interferes when he feels like it would be interesting. i just want them to meet because ronny is someone who would not, actually, hate elias, even if ronny aligns himself with the “good” side For Personal Reasons.

2. mark twain --- i’m going to be totally honest here: i think about sending twain to EVERY single one of my mutuals. every single one. that being said, i do have a tma verse for him where he’s an eye avatar, and really he ALREADY works for a corrupt rich man who wants power in his canon verse anyway... plus, he’s a great tool for apocalypse schemes because he’ll do absolutely anything as long as it isn’t, like. boring. also i think it’d be funny because twain is the most annoyingly talkative person on planet earth.

3. ladd russo --- honestly ladd would hate elias with the rage of a thousand suns. he would want elias DEAD and you know what? that’s only the second valid opinion he’s ever had. real talk his whole character thing is that he loves to kill people who don’t think they can die, or who “don’t consider their own death”, so elias would be like. at the second highest spot on his kill list at the VERY least. also ladd is really loud and also very infuriating to talk to so i think it would be a great, terrible matchup!

4. noé archiviste --- his last name is literally archivist in french alright, so. imagine if you took a classic vampire and decided you wanted to combine being a vampire with being an avatar of the eye. noé basically can see anyone’s memories when he consumes their blood, and can control how much or how little he sees. as for why i think he should interact with elias.. i think his predicament would be similar to jon’s, where he just could never morally see eye to eye with him. UNLIKE jon, though, despite being naive and easily distracted noé is also very physically strong and is not afraid to punch people who are mean to him and that would be very entertaining.

5. f scott fitzgerald --- remember earlier in twain’s paragraph when i said he was employed by a corrupt rich man who wants power? say hello to bungou stray dogs’s rendition of the classic author where he leads a group of ‘ability users’ to japan in order to find a book that can alter reality so he can bring his daughter back from the dead. this man straight up almost destroyed an entire country for his own personal gain and he’d do it again in a heartbeat! also, he’s super rich! like incredibly and absurdly rich! and get this: his ability is that the more money he ‘spends’, the stronger he physically gets. this is another case where i genuinely believe that because of the aforementioned details about him he would actually not mind elias and probably even get along with him.

muses i want to throw at you, but only 5 so i can explain my reasoning here     /     accepting always

[thewriterwhowrites]

So, being a Harry Potter fan, I read Harry Potter fanfiction. But Ron Weasley being my favourite Harry Potter character, if not, my all time favourite, I look for Ron centric fics. So, every time I get the chance, I go to Archive of our Own and check out the Ron-centric tag.

Now to me, the Ron-centric tag is a safe place where the Ron Weasley fans can go without needing to worry about seeing any kind of bashing and character assassination of our lovable redhead.

That was until yesterday morning when I saw this:

That’s right, a Harry Potter fanfiction that was tagged with both ‘Ron centric’ and ‘Ron bashing’. Now, at first I was confused and I asked myself, “Why is there Ron bashing in the Ron centric tag list? Ron centric means good things, doesn’t it?”

I then wanted to see what this was about. Which was a stupid idea because I only read a few paragraphs and I was shaking with rage. I have seen a lot of Ron bashing in the two years I’ve been in this fandom, but never in those two years have I ever seen the oxymoron paradox that is this work of absolute rubbish!

I didn’t read the whole thing, but I did skim it because, at first, I wanted to put a comment on this fic to counter-argue everything that this person had written. Now, I have read a lot of books, and even more fanfiction, in my 18 years of life. I am a diehard Ron Weasley fan and he has been my favourite since I watched movie one. Yes, movie one. I hadn’t even read the books yet and he was already my favourite character. But then I read the books and I loved him even more.

I could tell, just by skimming this fic, that the writer didn’t like Ron. And that’s fine. There are more people in this fandom who hate him than like him and I’m used to it. I have seen so much Ron bashing that it makes me sick to my stomach. I have seen fanfics that are tagged with Ron bashing and fanfics that aren’t. However, I have never, in all of my time in this fandom, seen a fanfic that has been tagged with both ‘Ron Bashing’ and ‘Ron-centric.’

I wanted to explain to this writer that “you can’t have both tags for the one fanfiction because it’s misleading.” Ron fans are already having a really hard time in this God forsaken fandom to find fics that respect Ron and stay true to his character. That is why the Ron-centric tag was invented. So we could stay away from Ron bashing fics because we have just had enough of the needless hate this character gets. The Ron-centric tag was a safe space and this person violated that space.

The first few paragraphs already give us a Ron that doesn’t exist outside of fanon. The canon Ron was fit, so he wouldn’t have gained the pudginess this person claimed he’d have. And just because he was a teenage boy who was growing continuously into a six ft adult back in Hogwarts and was eating a lot - or so the movies depicted as that’s where this writer seemed to be getting their inspiration from - doesn’t mean he’d still be eating that same amount when he’s thirty and has stopped growing by that point.

I know height. I know growing pains. I know you eat more when you’re having a growth spurt. I used to eat a lot and now I don’t because I am no longer a young teenager who needs food to grow. Also, I may not be as pudgy as I was back when I was younger, but I still am because of my solid build. Ron, however, has constantly been described, in the book, as lean and lanky. I doubt he’d let his body go that much. Especially before he was even thirty. Also, this writer even mentioning his weight at all was pretty pointless.

I got the vibe that Ron thinks Hermione is having an affair. And from what I read, his suspicions were justified. But then this writer depicted it as Ron just being a “jealous, possessive jerk who doesn’t trust Hermione” and then goes ahead and sends Ron to a strip club in Knockturn Alley!

I don’t care what this person writes, I really don’t because I have seen tripe as bad as this and worse. But it’s easy to ignore if it doesn’t violate my safe space. However, this fic violated my safe space big time and it made me so mad I felt sick, my whole body was shaking with rage, and I couldn’t focus on anything else. Nothing in my whole entire life has ever made me this mad.

I thought I should warn you, fellow Ron fans, in case you go to the ‘Ron-centric’ tag one day and see this here. Don’t read it. It is probably the most potent of Ron Weasley bashing I will probably ever see. And to add insult to injury, it’s a Dr*rry fic with Dr*co M*lfoy, of all people, being treated like a victim, and Harry and Hermione standing up to “Big Bully Ron” who is apparently being antagonistic towards “Poor wittle Dwaco” who deserves nothing but contempt for how he treated Harry, and Harry’s BEST friends, for seven freaking years!

Some of you Ron Weasley defenders may be able to articulate better what I am trying too but can’t. Especially @vivithefolle, who has probably been my greatest inspiration for standing up for a character who has done nothing wrong.

Seeing Ron bashing, and other character bashing, makes me wonder how these people, who bash for no reason, treat people in real life. I mean, Ron is your ever day guy who just wants to survive another day in school, hang out with his friends, play sports, and not have to worry about bullies who hurt his and his friends’ feelings while also insulting his family in the same breath.

Thank you for coming to my first, but hopefully not last, Ted Talk.

And Ron fans, stay safe out there, it is still quite brutal in this fandom.

- Dani

[primedirection]

Anniversary -Part 2

Post mobbing

It's been two and a half days since the fight and you still haven't spoken to one another, but Harry caves first.

Under simpler and more normal circumstances it was hard enough not being able to speak to you. But this time around the situation bears an immense weight. Because this wasn't just giving him the silent treatment or obnoxiously avoiding rooms he occupied, you actually left. Though once he was alone to stew in his thoughts, he couldn't blame you.

You never asked for this.

On a night that you were meant to be celebrating your love for one another, it was his baggage that intervened. And no matter how much he wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to his following, he couldn't deny that they crossed the line. Mobbing just him was one thing but to do it when he was with loved ones was another.

Harry sent a text concerned about your whereabouts merely an hour after he calmed down. By sunrise he was sick with grief, guilt, and worry. Substantially increasing due to Anne and Gemma also calling to check on you both and informing him of a particularly disturbing video gone viral on all media fronts.

One from your dinner of the girls he was kind enough to take pictures with. As it turns out they had been filming your table for awhile. Adding disgusting commentary of how much they hated you and joking about acts of harm they'd do to you if given the chance. Harry felt disgusted with himself when one of them finally suggests going over to do it and they all get riled enough to agree. Harry genuinely hates himself when hearing them discuss aloud their plan of attack. From this perspective he's able to see just how intense the impact is when you're pointedly elbowed off your chair from behind and then literally walked all over.

Only just to surround him with false praises of adoration and excitement. He feels even more ashamed that he didn't hear or see it before. But he's glad to see those girls get startled when you get back up with a vengeance and curse at them for their barbaric behavior. Teetering on the edge of dignified restraint and justified retaliation. But unfortunately he stepped in and practically dragged you out of the restaurant. The girls laugh to themselves and congratulate each other before the video abruptly ends.

The worst part of it all was that they really pulled the wool over his eyes and succeeded. He really went home and lashed out at you! Didn't even ask if you were okay nonetheless check to see if you physically were alright. He was too focused on their feelings and the backlash you'd get when the story got out to be honest.

The world already ridiculed your relationship enough, as if you didn't deserve him and he didn't want anyone to have any justification to feel that way. But this was just... He fucked up on so many different levels.

After watching the video he called you shamelessly nonstop, leaving voice mails and paragraphs of text messages apologizing. Eventually he stopped, empathy clouded his better judgment and made him realize that you probably just needed time to process everything.

On the opposing end you felt absolutely no urge to engage. Every social media account was overwhelmed with notifications from family, friends, and strangers alike. Gemma and Anne even tried to call but you simply didn't accept them based on the fact that you didn't know what to say or how to explain the situation. You didn't want to lie and say you're fine because honestly you aren't.

If you weren't hurting emotionally or embarrassed before, then watching the accursed video certainly brought on a slew of feelings. Not to mention the physical aspect of the damage.

When the adrenaline completely wore off, the dull pain you thought was bad doubled by tenfold. So excruciating and abnormally painful for just falling down, that you sent yourself to the emergency room. A full day in the waiting room and an x-ray later, you come to find out that your lovely dinner guests gave you a minor spinal fracture. Luckily enough it was just a stable fracture, which meant the best case is wearing a back brace for several weeks and no necessary surgery. Though now the worst case is that and being bed ridden as a safety precaution because the doctor also made the alarming discovery that you are four weeks pregnant.

It was impossible to pretend that you haven't been holed up for the past couple days in your best friend's guest room. Bawling your eyes out from the extravagant self pity party you were throwing yourself. Trying to wrap your head around the whole situation. How were you supposed to face anyone? Especially Harry.

It's on the third day from your split, that you are forced to figure it out because none other than Harry turns up just after your bestie leaves for work. Damn near banging at the door like there was a fire, but that more or less had to with the amount of time you took to answer it. You almost didn't, but the neighbors here were nosy enough and didn't need a show.

With the chain lock still on you barely peek through the crack of the door. Almost immediately he lunges forward, bracing his hands on the door frame trying to get as close to you as possible. It was kind of satisfying to see that he looked as miserable as you felt. In an old ratty T shirt and sweat pants with his hair in extreme disarray. His eyes bloodshot and tinted the same irritated pink as his nose and cheeks. Apparently he'd been crying. "Thank God, are you alright?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Can't get ahold of yeh any way else. I've called I've texted— been worried bloody sick to be honest. Can we talk?" His voice is thicker with more rasp than usual.

You wanted to ask if he had been drinking but thought better of it. "Think you've already said enough."

Harry's heart plunges to his toes so fast he audibly chokes on a sob. Sending his desperation into overdrive, "Y/N please, I jus' wanna explain- five minutes. That's all I'm asking."

You stare back at him for what feels like an eternity, debating whether or not if allowing him in was the right thing to do. Literally and metaphorically. He hurt you in a way that made your physical assault pale in comparison. So you're not entirely sure what possesses you to eventually close the door and remove the locks.

Upon reopening the door Harry's not as aggressive as he was before and instead waits for you to openly invite him inside. Eyes on the ground and hands shoved in his pockets.

It's while you retreat to the living room that he sees the massive cargo covering the majority of your torso. A protective vest of sorts. Although on the areas it doesn't cover on your back. He's able to see dark purpling bruises under the straps of your tank top just above your shoulder blades on each side. It makes him sick to his stomach. "Yeh had to go to the hospital?"

"Yeah, was in a lot of pain after the initial shock wore off. Good thing too because I have a minor spinal fracture," you explain and Harry's face loses all of it's color, ”The doctor said I endured the same impact as being in a car accident. Thankfully though I just need to wear this back brace for awhile."

Guilt consumes him like a flame to a torch, to the point that he almost doesn't want to continue inside any further. Because this was solely his fault and he really didn't even deserve to be in your presence. It felt horribly wrong.

He waits until you're sitting down as comfortably as you can on the sofa to speak, "Love, I can't tell yeh how sorry I am."

At the tone of his voice tears start to brim in your eyes against your will. You blink them away on a deep shaky breath and scoff, "So now I'm your love? I wasn't when I left. I was a crazy lunatic bitch you couldn't take anywhere."

His eyes clench shut at the reminder of his insensitivity, unable to withstand the disappointment in your gaze, "I didn't mean tha'—any of it, I swear. I was just being a dick cos' I knew yeh were right. Jus' didn't want to admit it"

Hearing the words aloud was bittersweet. Truly. Your emotions jumble as such, making some tears fall only to wipe them away furiously. "And what? Now you're here because of that stupid video and suddenly feel sorry for me? Well guess what? I feel humiliated enough, I don't need your pity to—”

"S'not about pity, I was wrong Y/N. So wrong." Harry's jaw clenches as he forces himself to sit across from you. Seeing you like this was out right painful and he didn't know how exactly to deal with it. He expected you to still be upset but in an angry curse him out sort of way, not the puffy eyed and anxious trembling hands type of way. "I figured tha' out long before I saw tha' fucking video. The way I reacted was the worst thing I ever could've done to yeh." He has to take a deep breath to calm the tightening in his chest but his tears come rolling down his cheeks anyway. He wipes them away hastily with the back of his hand though more are quick to replace them.

At the sight of his trembling chin you fold your arms and force yourself look away. The emotions bubbling in your chest and his own brings you to the verge of tears again.

"I was fucking atrocious to yeh and for what? For always looking out for me when no one else does? Or always being there when I need yeh to be? I failed yeh huge Y/N. Your safety should be my biggest priority and I'm the one that compromised it. If they had planned that with weapons you could've been..." He could hardly stand to think about it.

"Worse," You shudder at the thought subconsciously folding your arms over your stomach. "Neither of us knew that would happen."

You're reasoning only guts him more, "There's no excuse. You've been nothing but supportive and accommodating and so incredibly loyal... I took tha' for granted and m' so fucking sorry Y/N. I need yeh to know that. You mean literally everythin' to me, and I can't stand that I mucked this all up."

"You know how much I love you Harry. Even on our worst days but I'm not gonna lie that hurt, that like really hurt me..." Tears completely blur your vision now, and it's becoming more and more futile to talk through the constricting tightness in your throat. You reach up and press tight to your tear ducts in order to make it stop but the sobs start to slip out too. It's almost like not wanting to cry but crying anyway makes you cry even harder.

Harry wants so bad to hold you, to rub your back in comfort or in the very least hold your hand. But he knows better. Instead his fingers dig uncomfortably into his thighs, "Fuck, I know Y/N. I know."

You take a sharp breath to speak through the pain, "And I know how much the fans mean to you. Hell I love em too, they make me feel like I'm one of them! I'd never want to turn you against them or make you feel like you have to choose between us. All I wanted is for you to know when to draw the line sometimes, not just for me but for yourself. You give so much to people and I can't stand it when it's taken advantage of."

Harry shakes his head, choked up all over again hating the fact that this was supposed to be about you and here you are still defending him. He'd be a plum fool to lose you. His best friend, lover, defender, and supporter all wrapped into one. No one ever has and never would compare. "I'm so sorry love,"

"So you've said," You retort sniffling, a little annoyed that that's all he's got to say for himself.

"Well I genuinely mean it, you're so strong sometimes I forget that you might need me." His fingers rake anxiously through his hair, "Obviously I don't deserve yeh but I can't lose yeh either Y/N. Tell me what yeh need and I promise whatever it is I'll do it—whatever it takes."

He made it sound so easy but that's not the world you live in. "How am supposed to trust you won't do that again Harry?" You cry despite your attempts to remain stoic, "You're supposed to be the one I can lean on for anything and after that I honestly don't know if I can..."

He knows that you have every right to feel the way you do, but the needy and selfish part of him doesn't understand your resistance. He's apologized and currently begging for your forgiveness and yet he still can't seem to get through to you. He's beginning to feel hopeless. "I know words can't fix everything, but please just give me a chance to prove it to you. I'm upping security, I've filed restraining orders, and consider the charges pressed! I swear to God I'll-"

"I'm pregnant." You blurt out.

You didn't think it was possible but the tension in the room intensifies. Silence takes over and it's quiet enough to hear a pin drop. It makes the flutter of butterflies from high strung nerves in your belly feel like earthquakes. Also doesn't help that Harry's expression changes a minimum of three times in a matter of seconds. Confused to surprised to tormented to incredulous to sad to confused again and finally to an emotion that you can't even place. Apparently unsure he heard you correctly, "What?"

You bite your lip nervously, "I said I'm pregnant. Four weeks. Found out when I went to the doctor,"

He swallows so hard it's audible, staring directly at you and yet his gaze is distant. Somewhere else completely until he blinks and the water works start flowing again. "Can I?" He asks no louder than a whisper reaching out for you with trembling hands and grabs yours in his before you can even answer.

Bringing the back of them to his lips repeatedly somehow steadies his nerves. Because within he was raging. One of the most significant moments in both of your lives had been robbed of happiness and tainted with strife because of his baggage. The way you responded earlier suddenly makes total sense now and once again he couldn't blame you. He utterly refused to be robbed of another again.

Harry presses a hard kiss one last time before dropping your hands to shift closer to you. Close enough to cup your cheeks lovingly, since he doesn't trust himself enough to wrap his arms around you without causing pain. "I don't expect you to accept it or forgive me overnight. I understand that I really hurt you and that's just not realistic. But I am sorry Y/N. I'll spend the rest of my life doing whatever it takes to make it up to you—both of you. If you'll have me?"

In that moment all you register is burning. The burning in your eyes that make your tears pour down, the burning in your chest and throat as the heavy sobs rack through you, and the burning flush of your skin from being so overwhelmed with emotions. Because he was right, it wasn't going to magically fix everything but for right now it was enough. He seemed really genuine and sincere in his remorse and that was a good place to start.

You ultimately nod quickly and as best as you can without putting too much strain on your back, lean in to bury your face into the comfort of his neck. Confessing sheepishly, "I'm scared Harry,"

He can't squeeze you back as tight as you both want but there's still the same amount of comfort when he cradles the back of your head, "Shouldn't be. Cos' m' certainly never going anywhere and neither are you if I have anything to say about it."

Now that the threat of you leaving was somewhat gone he found it difficult to be scared of much else. With you he felt truly invincible. His grin even became shit eating at the thought of finally unveiling the ridiculously carrot studded ring currently hidden in his sock drawer. "Thank you for this by the way, s'best gift I could've ever imagined... Well opposed to mine but you'll get it when we get home."

You want badly to laugh at that and smile even because you are indeed relieved but you can't stop crying. Clutching onto his sides for dear life since they are the best you could reach. "I need you Harry, now more than ever. You understand that right?"

His chest rumbles with a hum before he pulls back to kiss you firmly on the forehead, "Won't let yeh down lovie, I promise."

AN: Hopefully this lived up to expectations idk send me your thoughts. I want all the smoke lol Xx.

[edelgoth]

matchup trade with princessofalmyra

@princessofalmyra here you go!! thank you for offering to do this, i really appreciate it!! also reading your profile was Wild we have a lot in common fkljfdlkjdf

i decided to go with two romantic matchups and one platonic one!! <3 these got really long so i’ve just stuck it all under the cut 

so, romantically, i match you with...

claude!!

i think claude would be a fantastic fit for you, both platonically and romantically!! but i think he’s the person you’d be most compatible with in three houses, so i’ll gear this matchup to be romantic 

firstly, i think he hits a lot of the same beats as your ideal partner! he’s a very intelligent, insightful person, and i think you two’d be on the same wavelength there  

he’s definitely intelligent enough to keep up with you, and i think it would be possible for him to keep you on your toes? 

and, while it’s not as obvious as his other traits, claude is very patient; hell, just the fact that he’s slowly plodding towards his goals through the entire game without showing any signs of annoyance or impatience is a pretty good argument for that

and claude’s definitely the type of person who would be honest with you, and would call you out whenever you wrote yourself of. basically? i kind of think he’s the perfect man! 

i think he would be quite drawn to you because of the initial vibe you give off; you’re smart, which is a positive in his book, but you’re also quiet enough that he’d presume you had secrets. and finding out secrets is kind of his thing

and to his delight, it’s not necessarily secrets he discovers, but a mind that can keep up with his. and really, he thinks it’s silly that he even suspected you even had secrets in the first place for how 

and i think he’d really love the fact that you’re both complex and an open book!! he’s, of course, very secretive, but i think he’d admire your approach; it’s something very refreshing for him, after a life spent protecting himself from the duplicity of people’s words and their intentions 

i think you have a lot similarities, but good ones!! the sort of similarities that mean you’d feel like kindred spirits!! 

for one, you’re both agents of chaos; i can see the two of you getting up to all sorts of antics, and having some of the best inside jokes and memes. claude would absolutely send you a harem of memes and cursed images for airdropping purposes 

but you also have an intellectual compatibility! you’re both very intelligent, and i think that would help keep things interesting between you.

the most analytical couple about, tbh,,, you guys are always analyzing something, and you always have something interesting to talk about. 

admittedly, i think overthinking is problem you both run into. but, the potential positive is that you’d probably be able to identify that behaviour in each other quite well; meaning you can hopefully break the more overwhelming thought patterns 

and on a more shallow level, you guys would be a very stylish couple? like you both have The Best Aesthetic (your fashion sense sounds I N C R E D I B L E btw), and you’d be very visually striking! 

but for all your similarities, i think there is also an important balance between the two of you.

for one, i think you’re a lot more gentle and sensitive than him. i think claude seems like the sort of person who can distance himself from the emotionality of a situation (idk if i explained that well, but i think a good example is how he uses cyril as an example of an almyran in his speech to the golden deer, even though cyril is uncomfortable with it) 

so, having you around would help ground him a bit in that regard, i think; your thoughtful and caring nature would help ground a lot of his ideals, if that makes sense? he’s already quite humanistic imo, but he’s not that tert-fe approach that’s a little distant; and i kind of feel like your worldview would help instill compassion into his own approach (i have no idea if this paragraph makes sense i am so sorry)

i think claude is the type of person who would always be reminding you of your own worth; while he admires how much you do for others, and that you tend to put their needs before your own, he’s always quick to remind you to take care of yourself every once in a while. but he’s never pushy or preachy; he always finds clever little ways of expressing that concern to you. 

he would love how passionate you are!! he’s very focused on his own dreams, but i think he tends to hold back how passionate he is about them in favour of a more laidback persona. so, i think he’d really enjoy seeing the passion you brought to things!!

because he’s a nerd tm he’d probably stay up in the library with you when you get really into your readings; he’d probably ask a lot of questions (and get really annoying about it), but it’s just because he wants to share in your interests!!

and i think he’d also love hearing any facet of your inner world you had to share! he’d find it all very fascinating, and he’d appreciate the insight it would give him . and honestly, since he’s so well-read, analytical and observant himself, it would surprise me if he didn’t have his own rich inner world tbh. 

you’re both quite insightful and introspective, and i think that could foster a good amount of understanding between the two of you; and i think that can be very important!! especially because i think he might be able to help you put words to the abstract 

i think claude’s a good person to turn to when you’re doubting yourself. once claude trusts someone, he puts their upmost faith in them; his unshakable belief in you and the things you’re capable of could serve as a tether during those depressive episodes. and while he may not be the best with expressing his true feelings in words, i’m convinced that he’d do all he can to support you and let you know you’re valued. 

absolutely a battle of wills when you get stubborn though. those would certainly make for some interesting moments in your relationship. but i feel like claude would actually kind of enjoy the challenge and difference in perspectives that could bring; which is a very entp thing if you ask me alkjfsdljsdkjl

he absolutely teases you for having your head up in the clouds. he boops your nose whenever you seem to be daydreaming, and always asks you what you were thinking. half the time, he guesses that you were thinking about him

i can also see him teasing you for being too trusting, but that comes from a place of concern. claude isn’t the type who likes to lecture or to tell you what to do; just like when he wants to you look after yourself for a change, he’ll find subtler ways to let you know that he’s worried about you. 

i think claude would really appreciate the fact that you were trustworthy. he can struggle a bit with sincerely opening up to people, and he has a tendency to mistrust others. knowing that he can rely on you, and that you keep your promises, would be a big thing for him! 

finally, i think a lot of your interests overlap!! you both enjoy reading (and i can see you guys sharing books with each other), i can see him being into psychology and character analysis, and i can absolutely see you guys people-watching, trying to figure out who they are and their histories. and, of course, memes,,, never forget the memes 

just a note: you’re also quite compatible when it comes to mbti types! claude, as a ne-dominant, would be a good balance for you (regardless of whether your a ni or si user!) furthermore, i think that ti-users (and i say this as a strong ti user myself) can get so analytical that they can tire other people out. but put two strong ti users together? it’s gold. 

the last thing i wanted to add is more of a vibe that i get from claude, and i’m not sure if it’s entirely textual; your point about trying to be optimistic, while actually struggling with being quite pessimistic and borderline nihilistic (which MOOD holy hell) is something that i feel claude would struggle with too? because he’s got a well-crafted mask that he puts out to the world, i think he hides a lot of the things that he struggles with; and for all his talk of friendship and the future, i think he has a hard time reconciling that with the things that he’s seen and the things he’s dealing with. so, i think having someone who understood what that was like could bring an invaluable comfort. but that’s more or less a headcanon adslkjflkfjd

all in all, i just think you and claude are very compatible as people, and you would work wonderfully as a couple!! 

(the next two are gonna be shorter bc i didn’t want to keep you waiting, but i hope that’s okay!!) 

i also match you with...

ashe!!

admittedly, i’m a little less passionate about this matchup (but honestly, i don’t think anything can quite top claude, and he can bring a better intellectual rapport to the table), but i think ashe is also quite a good match for you!!

i think he can fit your profile of an ideal partner quite well, as he’s insightful in his own way, and he also seems to have a rich inner world. he’s also the sort to encourage you to consider your own feelings, because they’re important too. 

on the whole, ashe is a lot softer than claude, and i think that would be a key difference in your relationship. ashe is more obviously fond, and he’s not afraid of expressing how he feels. 

i also think that ashe would be more mindful of you neglecting tasks that aren’t connected to what you’re hyper-focusing on, and is more likely to voice his concerns directly to you. but in general, i think he’s just very kind and attentive, and would always be looking out for your wellbeing! 

you’re both very sweet and caring, and i think that’s a lovely thing you’d bring into your relationship with one another!! 

i said earlier that he’s very obviously fond, and i think that fondness would permeate your entire relationship; you’re both gentle, and i think you both share that sensitivity and emotionality! 

i think you’d also be very thoughtful with each other, and that can be a very beautiful thing; ashe is delighted to know that you always have his back, and he’s always taking care of you (this boy definitely has ‘acts of service’ as one of his love languages hhhhhh)

ashe seems like he’d have a very calming presence, and i think that would be good whenever you were overthinking or when you were experiencing those feelings of doubt. and i think he’d be able to relate to you to an extent; he’s quite insecure about his past, so he knows what it’s like to experience some of those feelings. but, he would be excellent at providing you with that comforting presence. 

i can also see him being a big fan of your creative work!! he would love your paintings and drawings, and would absolutely hang them up on his walls so he can look at them and be reminded of you. and he would obviously love your writing!! he’s a big reader in the first place, and i think he would be really touched to know you trust him enough to let him read your work 

and on top of that, he’s very encouraging!! always giving you positive feedback, pointing out areas you’ve improved, bringing up little details he liked, etc. 

i think you’d have a much more peaceful relationship, too; you mentioned that you enjoy peace and quiet, and i think you and ashe would be the sort of couple who often enjoy being ‘alone together’; you just enjoy being in each other’s company, but you don’t have to say anything 

you have a lot of similar interests!! as with claude, you both like to read (and as with claude, you two would trade books all the time), you both enjoy baking and cooking (cute domestic activity to do together!!) 

i also feel like ashe would have an interest in classical literature, as one of his biggest loves is for traditional knight stories? i’m also not sure if it’s textual or not, but i can easily imagine ashe having a big love for cats and dogs, too! i also think he’d really enjoy role-playing games!! they just seem up his alley to me 

and while he might not be able to engage with it as well as claude, i think he’d really enjoy hearing your more analytical thoughts. he’s a very good listener, and he’d always be asking you questions to make sure you knew he was genuinely paying attention. 

as for mbti, i think ashe is an infp (or an enfp; i could see an argument either way), so your functions would balance each other out in interesting ways, i think! fi and fe can provide constructive alternate perspectives, as can ti and te. it’s one of those sorts of things where, while there may not be perfect comprehension of each other’s point of view all the time, it can definitely incur growth. 

i think ashe is another very, very good option, and i think he’s the sort of person who could bring you a lot of comfort, and who would ensure that you felt loved and cared for!!

platonically, i match you with...

annette!!

i think you and annette would make the most delightful pair of friends!! 

i really do think you guys would have a great rapport!! you’ve both similar in the fact that you love learning and reading about the things that interest you, and i think you guys could have the most interesting conversations about your areas of interest!! 

you’re both very clever and intelligent, and i think you two would keep each other on your toes (can i just say,,, you, claude, and annette? incredible squad)!! while she’s not as analytical as claude (their support is incredible akljdsflj) but i can definitely see her enjoying it

and, you guys are both very sweet and caring!! i can see you two being very supportive and encouraging with each other, and an absolute power friendship when it comes to studying,,, 

i think annette’s own optimism could potentially help you combat that pessimism? she’s just so bright and so cheerful, and she sees so much potential int he world; and i think that could be really motivating!! 

absolutely the sort of friendship where you can just talk for hours and hours, to the point of losing track of time; whether you’re in the refectory, the library, your dorms,,, wherever you are, you can just talk about anything (and nobody else can quite catch up)

annette is a very emotionally accessible person imo, so i think that would make it really easy for the two of you to connect!! she’s the sort of friend who would always have your back, and would always be trustworthy; kind of like you!! 

while you can be too forgiving, i feel like annette is the sort of person who’d stick up for you, and 

okay but admittedly you’d definitely get into overthinking spirals together. but you’d be there comforting each other, so that’s a positive, maybe?? but i think you’d both have that particular anxious energy, especially when things are high stress 

the two of you also always have your heads up in the clouds,,, you’re in your own world when you’re together, but honestly? that’s kind of adorable!! 

i feel like she may not totally ‘get’ your humour sometimes (i just think he’s,,, very pure), but she’d be a willing sidekick!! like claude, she’d also send you stuff to airdrop; sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s like,,, a minion meme from facebook that should’ve died long, long ago,,, 

annette’s also quite interested in beauty (and i’d assume by extension fashion?) so she loves your aesthetic. you guys would absolutely go on shopping trips together, while you excitedly try out new aesthetics (and buy every single scarf in the store alkfsdj) also; redheads!! redhead power friendship!! adorable!!

i also think annette is an arguable entp (i could see arguments for other types too) which only ups your compatibility!! 

and as with the other two, i think she shares a lot of your interests!! once again, i think she also has a voracity for reading, and i think she’d also enjoy role-playing games (if she can take the time to relax every one in a while!). i think she’d also quite enjoy character analysis and typology, since it can grant her better understanding about the people around her.

the short of it is that i think you and annette would just get on really, really well, and you’d be the cutest friends in the whole entire world!!  

also as a side note, i think you’d get along quite well with mercedes and dorothea as well!!