#“Chester” will always sound like some dog's name to me

[riothyena]

So kinda like add on to this + a thing I made in magma 😂 And I really gotta admit, I did actually kinda see s5 Jon like how I drew him in the second photo 😭🤚

[pkmacabre-shadow]

Captain N: Adventures in Smash

Chapter 4

AN: This was written in 2 AM btw. Also, the old fanfics of Captain N: New Adventures that I’ve written in the past few months are now considered prototypes of this fanfic series I’m currently writing. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

A couple days has passed since the day they’ve entered Cyberworld. There hasn’t been much trouble around, leading to the three teens doing things on their own. Most of the time it’s taking care of their families and personal needs, especially with jobs.

Wren is studying and practice driving to get her permit and license, along with working at her family’s restaurant that they own nearly 2 decades ago. Chester is also working at his job, most of which being side gigs like pet sitting and yard work. Melody likes working online but hasn’t gotten herself a job yet.

On Friday night, Wren just got back from work and is currently bored. So to curb that, she decided to call up her friends on Discord.

Wren: Hey guys

Melody: Hey Wren, hey Chester. How’s your day going?

Wren: It was a little tiring. And slow too. We barely got any customers while I wrap some noodles until my aunt took over, which by the way I taught her how to do that.

Chester: Same as always. At least I got some money and energy out while walking dogs.

Wren: Nice, Nice. So anyway, do you guys want to go to Cyberworld?

Melody: Heck yeah. I want to meet up with the actual fighters there, maybe even see the smash house myself.

Chester: Sure. But before that, I made a sort of golden rule here. We must not let anyone know about this. Not even my dad.

Wren: Got it. But if anyone asks about our belts, can we tell them that it’s a sort of fashion thing?

Chester: Yeah. Sure. Whatever floats your boat. Anyways, let’s go.

With a press of a button, the three were then transported to Cyberworld. They then landed onto some ground and in front of them is the Smash House.

Melody: Woah. Cool.

Chester: So this is the smash house. Must be something similar to college dorm rooms at home.

Then they heard a swoosh.

Chester: What was that?

Then they heard it again. And again, and again. Wren became well aware of the sound, similar to that of a bird. More notably, it sounds similar to Pit’s wings. When the time struck, she grabbed the arrow that was aiming towards Chester.

The attacker landed himself on the ground.

Dark Pit: You did good on catching that arrow, for a mere human rookie.

Wren: I knew it was you Dark Pit!

Dark Pit was taken aback by her statement. How did she know his name? That doesn’t matter, all it matters is to win the battle behind these 3 strangers.

Dark Pit: Seems like you know me well. I heard about the conversation that Pit and Palutena talked about you guys, with one of them being the captain’s son coming here to protect us. If one of you truly is the next captain, then I challenge you for a fight.

Chester: I’ll do it.

Wren: Chester don’t-

Chester: I have to

Chester steps up and pulls out the joycon, turning it into a blade. He puts up a stance, getting ready to fight. Dark Pit does the same.

Dark Pit: Oh this is gonna get interesting.

Chester: Bring. It. On.

As they start running up to take hits, a certain angel went in between them, stretching out his arms, and yelled.

Pit: STOP FIGHTING!

Both boys stopped. Pit looked at the two.

Pit: What are you two doing?

Wren: Pit! Look I can explain what’s going-

Chester: *Points to Dark Pit* He started it.

Wren: Damnit, Chester.

Pit sighs, shaking his head.

Pit: Anyway. I’m sure you already knew Dark Pit. But incase you haven’t, he’s a mirror self of me.

Melody: Like your brother, right?

Pit: Something like that, yeah. What are you guys doing here, though?

Wren: We got a little bored so we decided to check up on you guys and meet up with the other fighters. To be fair, we all have personal lives.

Dark Pit was sulking at the back as the conversation went on. He decided to cut in on their talking.

Dark Pit: You’ve gotta be kidding me! My fight with the original captain’s son, or at least he is, has been wasted by you.

Pit: Oh cheer up, Pittoo! You could fight Chester again in an arena or training room.

Dark Pit groaned. Pit turned to the others wanting to show them to everyone in the Smash House, knowing how eager these three teens want to meet them.

Pit: Come on, let’s go inside.

Once everyone got inside, they could see so many fighters in one room. Many of them were talking and hanging out with each other. Half of them were missing, likely because they were in their own rooms. Megaman looked at them as he finished talking with Shulk. He walked up to them in greeting them.

Megaman: Hey guys. What brings you all here?

Wren: Oh y’know, just saying hi to the other fighters. Just recently met Dark Pit thanks to Pit, albeit in an unexpected way.

Pit: Hey Rock!

Dark Pit: …Hey…

Megaman: It’s nice that you met another one of our roster. I hope that everyone else likes you all too.

Melody: Hey Megaman, can you give us a tour of this place. Maybe knowing some stages and other places would be nice.

Megaman: Sure thing. Although it’s a little late at night, however.

Chester: Don’t worry. We’ll be free this Saturday and Sunday.

They all laughed as Dark Pit left the group, not wanting any part of the group whatsoever. Two people walked up to them, Megaman looking behind him.

Samus: So this is the infamous captain's son, I see? I’ve heard about you from a few people.

Megaman: Oh hi Samus, hi Simon.

Pit: Hey Sam, Simon. These guys are Chester, Wren, and Melody. *turns back to the group* Everyone, these two are Samus Aran and Simon Belmont.

Simon: Pleasure meeting you three.

Chester: Nice meeting you too, Simon. *shakes hand* You too Samus.

It was Samus’s turn to have her hand shaken. It truly is a nice and warm welcome for the newcomers, especially if they were fans of the characters and their games. Wren decided to walk around a bit, taking a good look at the place.

Wren: I wonder what comes in store to these worlds, especially to where they came from. *bumps into Little Mac from behind* Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to!

Little Mac: It’s alright. I wasn’t looking but- hey, you’re new here. What’s your name?

Wren: My name’s Wren Chaiya and I came here with these two. *points to Melody and Chester* It’s a long story, and a complicated one at that. By the way, their names are Chester and Melody.

They looked at each other with Wren having in a sophisticated look before breaking down into a laughing fit. Little Mac joining in.

Wren: I thought it’d be funny or cool in my head in introducing my friends that way! *wheeze* Now it just looks so dumb!

Little Mac: Oh c’mon, I think it’s a great way to introduce them! *laughs* I’m Little Mac, by the way!

Wren: It’s great meeting you, Little Mac. It’s just that I want to say hi with everyone in this house. Say, do you think that there could be over 30 fighters in here?

Over in the distance, a couple people are looking at the others talking and greeting each other. One of the persons looking over is non other than Palutena, the goddess the teens met days ago.

Palutena: Seems like they’re getting along well with everyone.

[briamichellewrites]

14

Bria was able to get out of her modelling contracts without being held liable. Her manager threatened a lawsuit for abuse and trafficking. She was still working on her deal with Converse. The high tops she designed were selling fast! Her fans begged their parents to let them buy them. Some said yes but others said no. They were not going to buy a twenty-dollar pair of shoes. The media reported on her being in rehab.

Her publicist put out a statement saying she was getting help for her mental health. She asked for privacy for her and her family. Bria was doing a lot better! She had regular meals and a routine. Every night, she crawled into bed and slept. She was evaluated for bipolar disorder. Since the symptoms were similar to her ADHD, it was hard to get a diagnosis.

Mike visited her after forty-eight hours. She no longer looked tired. Rather, she was the woman he loved. She had her usual ADHD energy. He was thrilled! She was hanging on by a thread when she was hospitalized. When they went to her room, Micha was there to greet them. He sniffed his leg before rubbing against it. Hi, human. He sighed. It was inevitable. The cat was not going to give up on him. She joked about cats choosing people who hated them. He laughed.

Rob was going to bring Mowgli when they were in the studio. She thought that was an awesome idea. He laughed because he missed her energy. Micha went to his cat tree and climbed up. He made himself comfortable before lying down. After an afternoon of playing, it was time for a nap. He needed his energy to run around later.

“The other day, we discussed whether his name is pronounced Mika or Mischa during group therapy. I call him Mika but some of them thought his name was Mischa. It was a twenty-minute discussion.”

“Mika or Mischa. I thought his name was Mika, like mine.”

“That's what I said. I guess it's Mischa. I guess I could call him either because he doesn’t listen to me anyway.”

He laughed. Rob was experiencing the same thing with Mowgli. Cats were strange animals. They were picky about what they liked and didn’t like. But they noticed a change in him since getting Mowgli. He was less anxious and depressed. Mowgli distracted him from the thoughts in his head. He also provided him with unconditional love. As a kitten, he made him laugh because he was always getting into something. He meowed when he needed help.

Sometimes he cleaned his apartment with him in a baby wrap. He loved hearing him purring. Where did he get the wrap? One of his neighbours gave it to him as a joke after he brought him home. Her baby was too big for it, so she was trying to get rid of it. Did he want it? Sure. He figured if he didn’t use it, he could donate it.

But he loved it the first time he was placed inside. Brad joked that he had changed him. What the hell did you do to Rob Bourdon? He had to admit it was adorable! Yes, he was aware that cats ate meat and he was okay with that. Depriving them of that would be abusive. He wouldn’t get a cat. Maybe a dog. He could see the other guys getting a dog. Maybe Chester would get all sorts of animals. Dave was also an animal lover.

They came together and talked about what they should name their band. They tried to register the domain Lincoln Park but it was already taken. Joe brought up her suggestion of Linkin Park. How was that spelt? L-i-n-k-i-n Park.

“To quote her. That sounds awesome”, Joe said.

They laughed. Finally! They had their band name. Dave stepped away for a while to tour with his band, Tasty Snax. They were a Christian ska and punk band, who were going around the country playing different Christian music festivals. In his place, they brought in Scott Koziol and Ian Hornbeck. Where was Bria? They heard she was in rehab.

Yes, that was true. Mike went through everything. She was so exhausted physically. They were angry because she could have died. At the time, they were trying to get her out of her contracts. He was happy to report that was successful. They were thrilled and relieved! Could they visit her? He thought that was possible. Though, he would check with her to see if it was a good time. Where was her cat? He was with her. The centre she was at was pet-friendly.

Micha was not a happy cat. All he wanted to do was run around downstairs, but his human was being mean. He pawed at the door of her bedroom and meowed. Nope. She was not letting him out. Why? Because she didn’t want him getting in everyone’s way. She would open the door when it was time for dinner. Meow. Knock knock. The door opened, giving him an escape. She was annoyed because she had to go down and find him. Well, she had to go downstairs anyway because she had visitors. She got up from her bed. It was her parents. Jasper grabbed Micha.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be out here.”

Meow! No, she confirmed he wasn’t. They went up to her room. After closing the door, he put him back on the floor. Thank you. How was she doing? She was okay. Just tired. That was why she wasn’t participating in any of the activities. Why was she tired? She shrugged because she didn’t know. Was she eating? Yeah. They made sure she had three meals a day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. She ate until she was full, though her stomach couldn’t hold that much food.

She was underweight because of the cocaine. The goal was to get her back to where she was before. Her normal weight was around a hundred and thirty pounds. Currently, she was at a hundred and ten pounds. Her unhealthy weight loss contributed to her having symptoms of a heart attack. She brought up being screened for bipolar disorder.

They talked about that. If she was diagnosed, they would do everything they could to help her. That was what Mike said. It was true. She wanted to go back to making music because it made her happy. Of course. Just because she had a mental illness, it didn’t mean her career was over. It just meant she had to be mindful of how much she was taking on. Meow! Micha went back to pawing at the door. Let me out! Let me out!

They got up and he ran out as fast as his paws could take him. He ran into the kitchen and meowed at the humans walking by. I’m hungry! Humans, I’m hungry! He was given his dinner in a fancy cat bowl. Yum! Thank you, human! It tasted like chicken! Micha, you’re supposed to wait for me. He grumbled as he continued eating. Everyone grabbed a plate, silverware and their drinks before sitting down at the table. Her meal was made separately so it didn’t come into contact with gluten. Thank you. She saved two seats for her parents. Everyone was winding down from the day. They talked to each other while they ate or they ate quietly.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Odd Hours//Getting Even

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Reader Rating: T Warnings: Cursing; Fluff; slow burn but not nearly as slow as my usual slow burns. Notes: This is uh... I don’t know, I’ve had the idea kicking around in my head for a while. Also please excuse the film trivia. I will take any excuse to talk about The Man Who Came to Dinner. I couldn’t decide on which title would suit better so I named it both. Not beta-read. Summary: You’d never spoken to the your new neighbor before, just traded friendly waves… At the oddest times. 

Your new neighbor looked very put together all of the time. Well… The couple of times that you’d seen him in passing. He was always in a suit, his tie was always straight, and his hair was always coiffed so neatly. You just assumed that he looked that good all the time. You’d seen him with a beard once, and then the next time you’d seen him, he was clean-shaven. He was gorgeous both ways, but that beard… Fuck, it had looked good. You’d never spoken to the guy before, just traded friendly waves… At the oddest times.

-- The first time you spoke to him was evidence of that. It was almost three in the morning. You’d just gotten off of work at one of your jobs at a bar. You stifled a yawn as you stepped off of the elevator and fished into your pocket for your keys. You managed to dislodge something on your way, but you didn’t notice. At least, not until you heard: “You dropped this.” You turned to see your neighbor holding out the foldable reusable bag you tended to keep in your pocket. “Oh!” You reached out, smiling, “Thank you-- I didn’t even notice.” “Sure,” He nodded, “We haven’t met, I’m in 5B.” “5A,” You jerked your thumb over your shoulder to your door. “Marcus Pike,” He held his hand out to you, and you shook it, giving him your name. “Long night?” You asked, and he chuckled, nodding. “Very.” The two of you linger for a moment longer before you nod over your shoulder, “I’ve got a couple of hungry cats to get to, so.” “Right,” Marcus nodded. “Nice to meet you.” “You, too.” You ducked into your apartment, shutting and locking the door behind yourself. You flicked the living room light on and tossed your keys into the bowl beside the door. You stepped further inside, smiling at the sight of your two Siamese cats, Princess and Pyewacket. They lifted their heads from where they were both lounging on the couch. “I met our neighbor,” You told them. Pyewacket got up, stretching before jumping off of the couch and following you into the kitchen. “Yes, he seemed very nice,” You answered the cat’s unasked question as you reached down, scratching his chin above the black moon and star patterned collar he had on. Princess slinked into the kitchen behind him, a matching pink collar around her neck. “And hello to you, too,” You murmured, “Let’s get you fed.” -- The next run-in was almost two weeks later. It was nearly noon, and you were coming off of your other job at a bookstore nearby. You ran into Marcus as he was leaving his apartment, and your brows rose. “Hi there,” he greeted, smiling. “Hey,” You shift your bag on your shoulder as you twirl your keys around your finger. “How are the cats?” You laughed a little, nodding, “They’re good. I won’t say they were happy to see me, but I fed them, so they tolerated my existence for another day.” You eyed his pristine-as-usual-suit. “Heading to work?” “Yeah, just came off of a late night. I actually just kinda...Came back to shower and change,” He absently swept his hand over his tie. “Oh, yikes,” Your brow furrowed, “What do you do?” “I work for the FBI, International Art Theft.” Your brows rose. “Wow.” “Surprised?”

“A little,” You admitted as you walked to your door, “I had my money on your being a lawyer.”

“Really?”

You lean back against your door, waving at him, “It was the suits.” 

He chuckled, “I should get going-- as long as you don’t have any stolen art in there.”

“If I did, I wouldn’t tell you, now would I?” You teased, shooting him a wink, “Have a good day, Agent, and uh-- try to get some sleep at some point.”

--

It wasn’t every day that you got a knock on your door at two in the morning. Your hackles were immediately up, and you were quiet and careful as you crept toward your door. You peered through the peephole, frowning at the sight of Agent Pike-- And one of your cats. You hurriedly flicked your light on and opened the door. “Is, uh, this one of yours?”

“Pye,” You groaned, reaching out to take Pyewacket out of Marcus’ arms, “I’m sorry-- sometimes he slips out when I come in, and-- He’s such a weirdo, he always waits right out here.” You cuddled him close to your chest, smiling a little as Pyewacket pushed his head up against your chin. “Thank you,” You added, scratching Pye under the chin, “I hope he didn’t bug you.” “No, he was pretty friendly.” Your brows rose. That was rather unlike Pyewacket. “I’ll be honest, I was a little surprised to see you holding him-- Though that was more because, you know.” “It’s like two in the morning?” Marcus asked. You laughed, nodding. “Another late night for you, Agent?” “Slightly,” Marcus admitted before reaching out and scratching Pyewacket under the chin, “But I appreciated the welcoming committee.” You smiled, glancing down at the cat as Marcus’ fingers brushed yours. “Well, I’m glad Pye could be of assistance.” “‘Pye’?” Marcus repeated, leaning in your doorway, “Like the food?” “Oh, no. It’s short for Pyewacket,” You explained, shifting the cat in your arms. “Like in Bell, Book and Candle with uh-- Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart?” He asked. You blinked up at Marcus in surprise. “Uh… Yeah,” You nodded, and laughed, “Sorry, just-- Most people don’t know that.” “I’m a fan of classic movies. --Who’s this?” Marcus looked down.

You followed his gaze, laughing, “Someone that was feeling left out. That’s Princess,” You smiled. You took a little bit of a step back as Marcus crouched down to pet her. You were suddenly acutely aware that you were in your pajamas and Marcus was still very...very suited. You couldn’t help but grin as he cooed over Princess, though. “I’m not gonna lie, you strike me as a dog guy,” You admitted. “Oh,” Marcus scooped Princess up, cradling her against his chest, “I do like dogs, don’t get me wrong, but my grandmother had a cat-- big fluffy Persian named Chester.” You were quiet for a moment, watching Marcus and Princess before you glanced into your apartment. “Do um--” You hesitated, “Do you wanna come in for a drink or something?” Frankly, standing across from a cute guy as you each held one of your cats had to be the weirdest way you had ever asked a man into your place. But it wound up with you and Marcus on your couch with a beer each having a shockingly nice conversation. You didn’t keep him long - you could tell it had been a long night for him and you didn’t want to keep him late - not to mention you had come off of a shift at the bar and you were pretty tired yourself.

Pike was out of there by 2:45 (though you’d gotten his number in your phone and yours in his by 2:42). Pyewacket trotted after him to the door. Marcus gave him one last scratch under his chin, one last look at you before he murmured, “Goodnight.”

--

Smitten was not the word you would use.  It was what you were, but you wouldn’t admit it. Hell, you barely knew the guy, had only met him a couple of times. But he seemed sweet-- and your cats liked him, that was a good sign. 

You tried not to reflect on the fact that that thought made you sound like your Great-Aunt Cecily.

You held off on using Pike’s phone number for about two weeks. Then one night, around 10:30, in the middle of a William Powell marathon on TCM, Pyewacket jumped off of your couch and trotted over to the front door. You frowned, watching him and muttering, “What the fuck, dude?” before you heard the jingling of keys. You smiled when you realized why he’d gotten up - and went out on a limb as you pulled your phone out and texted Pike:

-Either you just got home or the ghosts in the hallway are bothering my cat again

You raised your phone, snapping a quick picture of Pyewacket at the door before sending it off. You glanced down at the lone messages in the chat before you closed it, tossing your phone onto the couch cushion beside you. It didn’t stay there long, though-- it buzzed a moment later.

5B: You’ve got a great alarm cat

5B: Just how often do the ghosts in the hallway bother Pyewacket?

5B: And how many ghosts are we talking?

-Like once a week, they’re very mean to him.

-And at least two ghosts, I’m convinced

You put your phone down, figuring that that would be the end of it. You were wrong. 5B: They bug Princess, too?

-Nope, they don’t dare. No one fucks with Princess

-How’s work?

5B: Busy.  -Long day?

5B: Excruciatingly

-Sorry 😞

You winced, resting your head on your hand and considering.  Why did you use an emoji? You raised your phone and snapped a picture of Princess where she was curled up on your lap.

-You could take Princess with you next time if it’ll help?

5B: Might take you up on that. I’d prefer not to be fucked with tomorrow

You smiled. -I’ll see what I can do about a leash

5B: Very kind of you

-Anytime

--

5B: Okay, I don’t wanna be weird, but I feel like almost every time I come in around dinner time, whatever you get or are making smells delicious

You looked down at your phone as it buzzed and chuckled, picking it up from where you’d left it on the counter. 

-Not weird. Not to brag but I’m kinda the slow-cooker queen

You glanced at the slow-cooker, and the timer reading fifteen minutes left on the food you were making. It was a large batch - you’d wanted to have enough so that you could bring lunch to work at the bookstore. But there was enough to spare. You hesitated before texting,

-Hungry? 

--

Marcus brought wine, and stayed for three hours. The two of you ate dinner, did the washing up, and wound up on your couch watching It Happened One Night. Conversation flowed over most of it - you’d both seen it several times. The movie gave the two of you the chance to watch and weave in and out of conversation and film trivia without pressure. Pye and Princess curled up on the couch between you like sleepy little chaperones.

By the time he left, the bottle of wine that he’d brought was empty, and he had cat hair all over his pant legs.

“Thanks for dinner,” He turned around to face you as he stopped in the hall.

“Sure,” You leaned in your doorway, tucking your hands into the pockets of your sweatpants.

“I’ll have to have you over sometime, make us even.”

Your stomach flipped at the offer and you nodded, “I’d like that.”

--

“What’s got you out so late?”

“Work.”

“I’m guessing it’s the bar and not the bookshop?” Marcus asked as he watched you slouch against the wall of the elevator. You smiled a little tiredly. “I see those sharp skills aren’t just reserved for art thieves, Agent Pike.” He chuckled as the two of you stepped off at your floor. “What about you?” You asked. “Grabbed drinks with the team after work. We closed a case.” “Congratulations,” You smiled, “What happened?”

“It’s a slightly long story,” Marcus shrugged, “...Would you like to come in and hear about it?” “Gimme half an hour to shower and feed the babies and I’ll be right over.” --  “...Shit.” “What?” You lifted your head from his shoulder. Considering the last two times Marcus had been to yours, you hadn’t had any reservations about going over to Marcus’ in your comfy clothes. You’d shuffled over in your slippers, and when Marcus had opened the door, you’d held up a bottle of white wine. He’d grinned and told you it would pair well with the grilled cheese he was planning on making for the two of you. Without the cats between you, you and Marcus had settled close together on the couch. As the late night wore into early morning, you’d wound up tucked into his side as you talked. “It’s almost four,” He chuckled, looking away from his watch. “Oh,” You yawned widely, “I should let you get to bed.” “I’m the boss, I can get in a little late.” You smiled, tipping your head up and finding him watching you. “You don’t seem the type to abuse that power,” You teased. “Long as it doesn’t become a habit.” “Mm-mm,” You shook your head a little bit and sat up, “I don’t wanna be a bad influence. I save that for Pye and Princess.” “Can I walk you home?” You laughed and nodded as you and Marcus got up from the couch. You missed the warmth of him as soon as you were up, and you were so tempted to turn back toward him and cuddle into his chest-- if only to warm back up. You chatted a little more on your way to the door, and you tried not to overthink the way Marcus put his hand on your lower back as he opened the door for you. -- “Can you recommend a good book?” You didn’t look away from what you’re shelving, but you couldn’t help the slight flurry of butterflies in your stomach at the question. “That depends on what you’re looking for.” “Oh...Maybe something on classic film.” “That’s gonna be two aisles that way,” You nodded over your shoulder, “Back wall.” “Could you show me?” “You really don’t have anything better to do today, Agent Pike?” You teased. There was a pause before you heard him drifting closer to you. He peered over your shoulder, his breath brushing against the shell of your ear as he murmured, “Well, I was hoping I could take you to lunch, if you’ve got time.” “You trying to even out our meal score?”

You glanced up as he leaned against the shelf beside you and met your eyes. “I’m trying to spend more time with you,” He admitted, “If you’re interested.” You lowered your eyes to the books you were shelving, unable to help the smile that grew on your lips at his bluntness. “I’m interested.” 

-- 

Lunch ended with plans for Marcus to come over after your shift at the bar the following night. He dropped you back off at the bookstore and left you with a kiss on the corner of your mouth that you thought about for the rest of your shift. --

TCM was airing a Bette Davis marathon. By the time you got home, it was nearly 10:30. You showered, neatened up the apartment, cleaned as much cat hair off of the couch as you possibly could, and told Princess and Pyewacket to behave themselves. Princess blinked at you; Pyewacket flicked his tail. You texted Marcus that he could come over whenever he was ready, and there was a knock on the door ten minutes later. Marcus looked cozy in a way you hadn’t seen before - sweatpants and a t-shirt that accentuated his broad shoulders and strong arms. You stepped back and nodded him in, and grinned as he crouched down, immediately scooping up Pyewacket as he came over. --

“You know, Bette Davis wanted John Barrymore to play Whiteside,” You were cuddled against Marcus’ chest; his arm was curled around your shoulders, fingers skimming along the strap of your tank top, “But he was drinking so heavily he couldn’t remember his lines. They wound up going with Monty Wooley-- he played Whiteside on Broadway, too.” “Really?” Marcus’ question was mumbled against your temple. You nodded a little. “Mhm. Cary Grant was set to play the role at one point, but Davis was so against it that he withdrew.” “Something tells me you like this movie.” You laughed, reaching out and absently picking off a piece of cat hair off of his sweatpants. When you’d disposed of it, you rested your hand on his knee lightly, giving him a chance to shake it off. Marcus just gave your shoulder a squeeze, and you gave his knee one in turn.

-- 

The two of you watched The Man Who Came to Dinner and All About Eve. “I’m worried that I’m setting a dangerous precedent for your sleep pattern,” You sighed as the credits rolled. It was almost half past three. “Mm, don’t worry about me,” He murmured, nuzzling into your neck. You closed your eyes, shivering a little bit. “...Do you wanna stay over?” You offered, raising your hand and lightly running your fingers along Marcus’ arm. “I’d like that.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “C’mon,” You urged, patting his thigh and standing. “Should we clean up?” Marcus stood with you, looking at the empty popcorn bowl and discarded cans of beer on the coffee table. “Nah, we can deal with it in the morning,” You took hold of his hand, leading him back to your room. Marcus glanced back toward your cats, to where Princess and Pyewacket were still settled on the couch. “Do the cats sleep with you?” He asked. “Sometimes.” “They gonna be mad if I shut your door?” “They’ll get over it.”

-- It was your alarm that woke you up. You leaned across Marcus, mumbling your ‘sorry’s and shutting it off. Once you did, you leaned back down, resting your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes again. You smiled as his arm curled around your waist. “You need to go?” He mumbled. “No, just-- Forgot I had it set.” “Good.” You smiled, turning your head and nuzzling against his shoulder. “You sleep okay?” “Mhm,” He hummed, sliding his thumb along the hem of your shirt, “You should stay over at mine next time.” “So we’re even?” You blinked up at him as his fingers curled under your jaw, tipping your head up to look at him. “Things aren’t always about getting even,” He smiled sleepily down at you. “What’s it about then?” “...Why’d you ask me to stay over?” You hesitated before you pushed yourself up to lean over him, “I thought you’d look good in my bed. And whaddaya know? I was right.” Marcus laughed, using the arm wrapped around you to draw you against his chest. “You know what I’ve been thinking about?” He asked. “Mm?” “Kissing you.” Heat curls in your stomach, tingling and pleasant. “Something stopping you?” You asked. The hand on your jaw slipped down to rest on the back of your neck. His eyes darted between your eyes and your lips for a few moments before he leaned up, brushing his lips against yours. You felt that spark grow in your stomach, and you dipped your head a little closer, chasing the chaste touch. You shifted, leaning more heavily against him and resting your hand on his chest, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt, hooking in his collar. When he pulled you closer and turned, settling you down on your back, you went easily, letting your thighs splay so that he could lay between them. You moaned quietly as your kisses became warmer, more insistent. You wrapped an arm around Marcus’ shoulders, sighing as he slipped a hand under your shirt. And then you heard a yowl at your door. You groaned quietly, dropping your head back as Marcus laughed, resting his forehead against your neck. “I told them to behave,” You whined. “Don't blame them, this is on me. I should’ve kissed you last night,” Marcus murmured against your throat. You shivered, chuckling a little. “I should feed them before they do something rude like continue to yell... or throw up in your shoes.” “Would they do that?” “Oh, god yeah. I love Princess, but she’s an asshole.” --

You reached down, setting Pye’s food dish down for him and scratching him behind the ears as he began to eat. Princess was already halfway through her food. You glanced over at your phone as it buzzed on the counter and grinned when you saw who it was.

❤️5B: How’s unpacking?

-Nearly finished. A couple of boxes left. Pye was sleeping on a stack, so I couldn’t touch it.

❤️5B: No worries, baby. On my way home. Need anything?

-Cat food and popcorn. Humphrey Boggart marathon starts at 8

❤️5B: Takeout?

-Nope, got dinner covered. ❤️5B: You’re my favorite. -Don’t let Pyewacket hear you saying that. ❤️5B: Favorite human.

-Better. Btw some couple moved in across the hall. I think they have a dog?

❤️5B: I’ll make sure Pye doesn’t get out when I come in

Tag list: @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo; @fantasticcopeaglepasta; @paintballkid711

[dinogoofy]

Erron black/F! Reader

Old friend.

This one took a little bit, sorry if it's not quite as quality as my other fics!

MAJOR TW for Guns, threats, and Kano being a dick to precious puppies.

You and Erron black had grown up together. Two kids brought closer by horrible lives. Sharing the scraps of food you had with each other. Ranting about awful parents, ranting about school. In your teenage years, you were the one to patch him up after fights. He was the one to beat the shit out of your bullies. The two of you hated that town and everyone in it. You used to think the two of you would stay as thick as thieves forever. Your paths only split when you wanted to live a normal life. Live the peaceful, country way you had seen so many others do, but never grew up with yourself. Erron, however, only wanted money, glory. He wanted to take the back roads and do all the things normal folks wouldn't dare to get his fill. 

You didn't understand his choice to be a mercenary, but it wasn't your choice to make for him. Whatever life he wanted to have was good enough for you as long as he made it out of that shitty town. He didn't contact you much. He only really showed up on your doorstep when he was dying and needed someone to patch him up. But at least he was coming to see you, right? 

With a sigh you stepped into your little country home, smiling slightly at the immediate sounds of your fur babies running to meet you. A blur of orange fur rushing to thread between your legs and trip you, while your sweet pound mutt waited patiently for you to set your keys on the key rack. 

"Hey boys." Chester meowed at you rather loudly, only to take off when you leaned down to pet him. The crazy feline darting under Archie's body as he happily waited for his own pets. It was easy to smile at the warm welcome, immediately a little more relaxed after finally getting home. You stretched at the door, setting your bag down to head into the kitchen.

The first thing you settled on was giving your boys their long-awaited scoops of food, both of them sat down neatly next to each other. Only Archie waited for your go-ahead, Chester already digging in by the time you gave him a laughing "Ok, Archie." 

You patted your mutt before taking some leftovers out, eyes catching on the printed photo of you and Erron from senior year. It's been a few months since last he came to visit. The thought made you a little sad. But the memory of the photo gave you a nostalgic, happy feeling. With an arm slung around his shoulders, and a goofy look on your face, Erron was the complete opposite of you. The goof pretended to be annoyed at your antics, but you could see the slight smile at the corner of his lips.

"Come on! Just one photo. It's not like it's going to kill you, Erron."

"It's not going to kill me, no. But I might end up killing you."

"Pfft- yeah right."

Your smile grew a bit wider. You sat down at the table alone as you finished your dinner. Erron had always been a strange one. Always tough, trying to be unfeeling. Not wanting anyone to be close. Not wanting any affection besides the one-night stands and the women he infatuated. Always the one to flirt, but never with you.

No. Not ever with you. You smirked. He always acted differently around you. More nervous, more fidgety. You'd been in love with him since before you even knew what love truly was. And you had known for years that he loved you back. You had just been waiting for him to admit it. You'd scoffed at yourself time and time again for not making the first move, but Erron wasn't ready for that. You didn't think he was, at least. You just wished he had gotten therapy like you had asked him to.

The scraping of your fork against your plate was your only indication that you had finished eating, you definitely spaced out a bit. You always did when you thought of Erron. Maybe he would visit soon. Maybe you should stop thinking that to make yourself feel better. 

The plate clicked lightly against the floor when you set it down for Archie to lick before you set it in the sink. By the time you turned off all the lights and headed to bed Chester was already asleep on your pillow, Archie curled up in his own bed next to the nightstand. You moved the orange tabby slightly to the side so you could lay down, and he yelled in protest the way that annoyed kitties do. It was easy to slip into a comfortable sleep with your boys next to you. 

The sound of your sweet Archie growling a feral warning was what woke you up that night. You shot out of bed, ripping off the covers and grabbing the shotgun from under your mattress. Archie never growls. An unhinged bark sent a jolt of panic through you, along with Chester, who woke up to sprint under your bed and hide. Archie certainly never barked. Not like that. Not in that way. Something was wrong. You clicked off the safety and cocked the shotgun.

You moved slowly at first, creeping your way over to the sound of Archie's growls, but when he let out a sharp whine, your vision went white-hot with rage. 

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DOG!" You shouted, finally turning the corner and into the living room where two figures lurked. The lamp was still on, and as your eyes adjusted you could make out the masked face of Erron, and the form of some asshole looming over Archie with your baby backed into a wall. 

Erron didn't respond at all at the sight of you. The unknown figure by your dog stood up slowly and whistled.

"You did say she was a feisty one." You scowled, keeping the gun pointed squarely on the man.

"Erron. I don't know why you're fucking here, but please tell me you don't know this asshole so I can just shoot him." Erron rolled his eyes at you. The figure laughed, moving away from Archie, who sprinted over to you so that he could cower behind your legs. Your eyes were trained on the figure as he proceeded to sit in your own fucking armchair.

"Name's Kano. Leader of the black dragon." The black dragon. The group of mercenaries that Erron had joined. Why the fuck did Erron bring this guy into your home. Erron called your name.

"Set the gun down, sugar." You didn't take your eyes off of Kano. 

"Respectfully, Erron, I don't think I will." Kano laughed, but you didn't think anything was funny. Erron called your name again, strutting over to you carelessly. Archie growled as he got closer. He set a hand on the gun, pushing it down.

"Calm. Down." You huffed but gave in. Sending your friend a nasty look as you lowered your defense. Erron wouldn't willingly let you be in danger. There's no way he would. You had to remember that.

"We came here for some help. 'Know that cave at the edge of your property?" The cave? You found it when you had just moved in, part of an old interlocking set of mining tunnels carved out of the land in the early 1900s. When you checked it out at first, it was Erron who actually went with you. You had a fond memory of fucking around in the tunnel, only to find an old elevator next to a dead-end tunnel with bloody handprints and markings that trailed across the wall and into the elevator. That was enough to get the two out of there. What would they want with it?

"What about it?"

"Those runes we found in it match what a client is looking for. We just want to check it out, and get outa' you're way." You laughed, glancing between Kano, who was currently putting a cigarette out on your favorite chair- and Erron, who still stood next to you in an almost defensive manner.

"Am I supposed to believe that there's no catch to this? No killer secrets? No blackmail?" Kano snickered, standing from his chair and walking over to you. You stood strong, but the beating of your heart sped up. You hated feeling afraid.

"The catch is, you show us the cave, and we leave your little buddy here alive." You scowled, and Erron sighed deeply at his boss, knowing already that he had started something.

"First of all, you don't get shit if you threaten my dog, asshole. You piece of human sh-"

"Just think of it as a favor between friends." Erron interrupted. You frowned at his words. His paycheck was definitely depending on it. Your thoughts split In two different ways. One, the fact that he's using your friendship to manipulate you into doing him a favor, two… it felt relieving that he still thought of you as friends. 

You finally gave in, sighing and relaxing almost completely. Archie nuzzles your leg before running off. You turned your head just slightly to watch him out of confusion when a sudden yank catches your attention. Kano had snatched your shotgun straight out of your hands. Erron stiffened next to you.

"I'll take that!" 

"You-!" Erron held out back just as you went to lunge at Kano. You struggled against him for just a moment before he gave you a bit of a push to set you back. What had gotten into him?!

"Ah ah ah! Sorry, Sheila, there's no way we're gonna let you keep this on you. Erron?" Kano taunted. You went to yell in protest but only yelped, Erron's hands suddenly holding onto your arm.

"Just comply. It'll be over soon." Erron whispered. You grumbled in protest but didn't fight it as they took you from your warm house. 

Kano walked proudly ahead of you and Erron while navigating to the cave. Fucker didn't even know where he was going. You had been scowling the whole time, a surprising feat while Erron was around. Speaking of which, His hand on your arm had softened its hold, but the strangest thing was that he still wouldn't look at you.

"This is your idea of a visit?" You mumbled to him. He shook his head, his heavy steps landing on a twig he forcefully snapped as you walked. He was definitely in a mood.

"This' a business trip, hun. Wouldn't be here if it weren't for that." You snickered.

"Yeah right. You'd end up here eventually." You said the words but didn't quite believe them as you walked. "Don't think you could stay away if you tried."

"-And I tried." You ignored the painful sting in your chest, going silent before shouting another set of directions to Erron's dipshit boss. You could almost feel Erron's gaze change as his eyes remained on you.

"-look, I didn't want you to get caught up in all this. It's bad enough that I'm here now." The words made you frown slightly. You elbowed Erron in the side, trying to make a little light of the situation.

"Better than Kano coming out here by himself." Erron laughed. 

" 'Betcha you'd've killed him the moment he stepped into your house."

"I almost did." You couldn't see Erron's smile through his mask, but the happy look in his eyes was infectious. You couldn't help but blush a bit, walking closer to him. His hold on your arm was loose and comfortable at this point, and you couldn't make yourself break out of it.

"You lovebirds done shit-talking or what?" God, you hated this Kano guy. The rest of the walk was silent. After about 30 minutes of almost tripping on fallen limbs, you finally made it to the cave. 

"Quite a big place for such a little property, huh?" You didn’t respond to Kano. Ignoring him as Erron guided you to walk past him.

"Oh don't be coy. Where'd all that fire go?" Kano was taunting you again, but both you and Erron ignored him this time. Erron spoke over him when he tried to speak a third time.

"Which way d'you go from here?" You laughed.

"You think I know? I try to stay away from this place as much as I can. Haven't been here since you were with me." Erron furrowed his eyebrows, taking a moment to click a flashlight on. He looked around for a moment, before setting out in a direction. Kano followed behind, a little too close to your back for your liking. 

Shivers ran rampant across your skin when you finally found the elevator. Kano pushed past you forcefully, knocking you off balance. Erron caught you with a steady hand around your waist. You relaxed in his touch, and once again pushed forward.

"Ahh! Look at that beauty!" Kano took out a camera, and you flinched at the flash. 

"I'm sure the client won't mind if we keep a few copies of the pictures to ourselves, now would he?" Kano laughed. Being around Erron was nice, but you were losing your patience. It was late, you had work in the morning, and you were just plain tired of this black dragon bullshit. You didn't notice when Erron's arm fell away from yours.

"Look, I showed you the cave. Just give me my gun, and let me go back to bed." Kano snickered at your words, Erron loomed behind you. 

"I don't think you'll be going far." Kano spat on the ground after he spoke, you scowled. 

"Excuse me?" Kano's smile was gritty and disgusting. He whistled at Erron, walking past you with your shotgun held loosely in his grip. You contemplated snatching it, but when you whipped around-

It almost felt like you couldn't breathe. You were staring down the barrel of Erron's pistol for a long moment. 

"Look kid, we can't have someone like you knowing about this cave thing, it's too risky and all that blabber, you understand. You've been such a delightful host and all, but it's time for you to go." Kano laughed.

"Can't tell any divine dipshits about our little meeting if she's dead anyway, now can she Erron?" Erron had never been so out of focus before, his stomach wringing in knots. He hardly knew what to think as he pointed the gun at you, something he'd never thought he'd ever do.

"Hey?" A little voice called out. A little face leaning down to peer at the little boy with his head buried unto his knees. He hardly glanced up. 

"Hi." He had murmured so quietly.

"Do you want to share this sandwich with me? You look lonely."

"Erron?" Your voice quivered. Panic was written all over your face. His finger lingered on the trigger as his chest squeezed.

"Sit still, dumbass." You squeezed his bloodied arm.

"That shit burns!" He hissed out. You laughed at him, dabbing at the large cut he had gotten from some idiot with broken glass on the school grounds.

"Well duh. It's isopropyl alcohol. It's gonna burn like hell." He was cute when he was confused. You laughed. 

"It disinfects the wound, Erron."

"... I knew that. I'm not fucking stupid." He had grumbled.

"Nothin' personal." He finally spoke. The words hurt him as they came out.

"That's not how you use a rifle." Throwing popcorn, at Erron, you quickly stole the remote to turn the volume up.

"Shh! Just shut up and enjoy the movie. Westerns aren't exactly supposed to be realistic."

"Well I can't really enjoy an unrealistic western, can I?- he's holding that wrong-"

Your face started to shift from panic to anger as kano patted Erron's shoulder, walking back into the rickety elevator.

"Panicked now, aren't ya Sheila? Want to beg? Or are you the proud sort?" You snarled at him.

"No." You said stiffly. "No. I want to see you do it, Erron." Kano laughed from the elevator. Erron remained stiff, his smooth voice taking a moment to come out.

"Look, you don't know-"

"I said do it, Erron!" You snapped, stepping closer to the cowboy. He didn't step back, his hand didn't waver. You stepped close enough to him that the barrel of his pistol pressed to your forehead. 

"Go ahead! Be Kano's little lapdog. Shoot me." You spat, the adrenaline working its way into your system. "Shoot me and say goodbye to all the FUCKING years I took care of your ass and bury me in that shitty town we grew up in Erron!" Erron's stone-faced seriousness finally broke, and even though he was wearing a mask you could still see the rage in his eyes as he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and forcefully yanked you closer to him. He kept the gun pressed to the side of your head.

"Do you have any idea who you're provoking? You. don't. know me. anymore. Sugar. You don't have any idea what I'm capable of!" You let out a curt laugh.

"You and I both know I still do." You snarled. Both of you went silent, the tension crackling between the two of you. You could see the panic that hid under the steely overlaying emotion in his eyes. Only Kano's ongoing childish taunts remained.

"Well then, Erron? Get on with it!" Erron's stiff posture remained, he spoke to Kano, but his eyes remained on yours. 

"Fuck off Kano." Kano didn't take that well.

"Excuse me? I'm your boss, dipshit. You can't just-" All of a sudden, Erron pushes you back, reels around, and shoots through the spaces in the old metal elevator, the bullet hits the back of the wall, and ricochets through the old, decaying pulley rope that held it up. Kano looks up in horror and rage. His screaming and cursing faded as the elevator launched down and crashed to the very bottom of the mine.

All is silent. All that can be heard is your labored breathing from all the shouting and adrenaline.

"Still want me to shoot you?" Erron asks. Speaking smug words with a tone only you could recognize as him trying to hide his panic. You scowled again. Walking over to him with tears stinging at the corner of your eyes.

"You're such a fucking asshole!" You shouted, punching him in the shoulder. Erron didn't flinch.

"And?" You couldn't stop the tears now. All the pain, and heartbreak, and sadness rushing out at once. You weekly hit his shoulder one more time, and grappled him into a hug, burying your face into his chest without being able to stop your sobs. Erron stood stiff. After a moment, his arms slid around your waist, and he held you back tightly.

"Kano's gonna kill you for that." You laughed through the tears. Erron didn't respond. His hand left your side for only a moment, and when it held onto again he had taken off his mask, letting it drop to the floor. Erron buried his face into your hair, holding you a bit tighter than before. 

It was quiet again. Erron squirmed after a moment.

"...I wouldn't have buried you in that town." You snorted, not taking your face out of his chest, biting your nails into the fabric of his shirt just a bit.

"So you admit you would've shot me?" Erron didn't react to the words. He only sighed into your hair, lifting a hand to pinch your ear. You pulled yourself out of his chest with a laugh, and his hands settled on your waist. You wiped your tears, your nose, and tried to make yourself a little better. It didn't really work. Erron could see that. He lifted a calloused hand to your cheek anyway.

"Just because you've come to your fucking senses doesn't mean I'm not still mad." You sniffled, smiling still as the bitter words fell out of your mouth.

"Yeah, well you should be. Kano was being an asshole anyway. That's the only reason I let you go." Erron coughed, you raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not buying it. He rolled his eyes, huffing through his nose.

"... Maybe not the only reason." The smile returned to your face, and you rolled your eyes at him this time. At this point, it was almost like he didn't realize it himself.

"God, you're really not fooling anyone, dumbass." Erron scowled, about to retort when you decided, Fuck it. And clutched his face to pull him into a kiss. He didn't respond at first, stiff and uneasy.  Always so stubborn. After a second or two though, he melted into your lips, pulling you closer. It was hard to hold on to all your anger when he was just so kissable. He'd get his ass beaten for this little stunt. You would make sure of that, but right now all you wanted to focus on was the relieving kiss you had waited so long for.

[clearlyaginger]

I am quite happy right now.

So I got this stuffed animal when I was six years old. It was a little bee, no bigger than a bar of soap, and it had "I ❤ bee-ing a Girl Scout" on its back. My mother was reluctant to get it for me, saying, and I quote, "you'll just play with it for a week and forget about it!" So I offered to pay for half of the cost, with the three dollars I got from who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. So, the transaction commenced, and I got my bee. I named him Bumble. Obviously.

I played with Bumble for a few days, then put him away and forgot about him, as predicted. But... what was unprecedented... was that I pulled him out of the toy box after like a month and he became my best friend. That motherfucker was my constant companion, and where I went, he went. He went through hell. He had his stingers and wings chewed off by a certain Dog (may he rest in peace), he's been left out in the rain multiple times, he would go swimming in the chlorinated pool with me, come with me to camp, etc. He's had not one not two but three stuffing transplants, and a few attempted skin grafts (is that what that's called? Idk) the point is, he's seen some shit.

When I was nine, we were at a girl scout shop in West Chester and I happened to spot another of the same bee on a shelf. So I was like, "mom, I gotta have it. They're pals." And she, this time, understood.

So I got the bee. His name was BuzzBuzz. (One word)

Sadly, BuzzBuzz was lost on a trip to Disney world. I took them both with me as was tradition and carelessly left my bag unzipped on rockin' rollercoaster. Was I a little old to be carrying my two prized stuffed animals with me? Absolutely. But it was tradition. And BuzzBuzz payed the price. Technically I don't even know that he was lost on rockin rollercoaster. But , no matter. The point is, I was down a bee after that.

But no longer.

You see, every so often I would check the web for stray girl scout bees for sale, always coming up empty. I don't know if it was because they're that rare, or unpopular, or they just weren't selling when I was looking. I mean, it's not like I was checking religiously. It was maybe once a year I would think of it. And I thought of it last week and... ebay delivered. Literally. And swiftly, too!

So now I'm back up to full Bee Force, which sounds like the totally awesome sequel to the hit 2009 movie with the guinea pigs.

Anyway, I was just excited I found another one.

Here are the bees in question:

Yes, I still have Bumble after all these years,

Yes, he looks like shit,

No, I will not tell him that.

New Bee doesn't have a name yet.

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the January 2021 Edition

Tumblr’s gif search leaves a lot to be desired, so there’s no actual gif of her slamming the book shut, which is—y’know, disappointing. Still, the continued ability of the public library system to send books to my Kindle ensures that I continue to read every romantic comedy and fantasy story I can find. Of which I have plenty of thoughts and opinions. But, like, what’s the point of having thoughts and opinions if you’re not putting them on the internet? There isn’t one, obviously. Books and links and feelings and more ridiculous headlines all under the cut. 

BEST BOOK AWARD WINNER OF A VERY WEIRD JANUARY THAT HELPED DISTRACT FROM A VERY WEIRD JANUARY

The Wrath & the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh Every dawn brings horror to a different family in a land ruled by a killer. Khalid, the eighteen-year-old Caliph of Khorasan, takes a new bride each night only to have her executed at sunrise. So it is a suspicious surprise when sixteen-year-old Shahrzad volunteers to marry Khalid. But she does so with a clever plan to stay alive and exact revenge on the Caliph for the murder of her best friend and countless other girls. Shazi’s wit and will, indeed, get her through to the dawn that no others have seen, but with a catch . . . she’s falling in love with the very boy who killed her dearest friend. She discovers that the murderous boy-king is not all that he seems and neither are the deaths of so many girls. Shazi is determined to uncover the reason for the murders and to break the cycle once and for all.

This was so good?!?! I finished the first book and them immediately started the sequel, like no break whatsoever?!! I wish they weren’t teenagers?!! But seriously I wish they hadn’t been teenagers. Like, I get it. It’s YA. That probably sells better, something about markets that I don’t understand. I don’t care. It was weird that they were teenagers. Also, some of the plot points just kind of...happened? And I’m not entirely sure they were ever resolved. (Although there are a bunch of short stories, so. Maybe I just haven’t gotten there yet.) Despite that, the writing was gorgeous, I remain as prone to swooning over sad boys patent pending as I was when I was sixteen and Shahrzad was a fantastic heroine. Nine out of ten (would have been ten if they weren’t teenagers) and have already put holds on other books Ahdieh has written. 

OBLIGATORY RAGE-INDUCING ROM-COM

Head Over Heads by  Hannah Orenstein The past seven years have been hard on Avery Abrams: After training her entire life to make the Olympic gymnastics team, a disastrous performance ended her athletic career for good. Her best friend and teammate, Jasmine, went on to become an Olympic champion, then committed the ultimate betrayal by marrying their emotionally abusive coach, Dimitri. Now, reeling from a breakup with her football star boyfriend, Avery returns to her Massachusetts hometown, where new coach Ryan asks her to help him train a promising young gymnast with Olympic aspirations. Despite her misgivings and worries about the memories it will evoke, Avery agrees. Back in the gym, she's surprised to find sparks flying with Ryan. But when a shocking scandal in the gymnastics world breaks, it has shattering effects not only for the sport but also for Avery and her old friend Jasmine.

I stopped reading it. Honestly. I got, like, 46% of the way through, kept complaining to Justin about how goddamn annoying Avery was and how no one had any personality and I wanted them all to fall off the beam and he was like—stop reading it, then? And I was like—I can do that? And then I did! Also, I understand it needed conflict, but the “shocking scandal” in the description is a sexual assault that was not only NOT my cup of tea, but felt like a massive attempt to be topical by using what happened at Michigan State without actually saying it was about Michigan state. 

PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW SPORTS WRITE SPORTS AND DO IT OK

Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes In a sleepy seaside town in Maine, recently widowed Eveleth “Evvie” Drake rarely leaves her large, painfully empty house nearly a year after her husband’s death in a car crash. Everyone in town, even her best friend, Andy, thinks grief keeps her locked inside, and Evvie doesn’t correct them. Meanwhile, in New York City, Dean Tenney, former Major League pitcher and Andy’s childhood best friend, is wrestling with what miserable athletes living out their worst nightmares call the “yips”: he can’t throw straight anymore, and, even worse, he can’t figure out why. As the media storm heats up, an invitation from Andy to stay in Maine seems like the perfect chance to hit the reset button on Dean’s future. When he moves into an apartment at the back of Evvie’s house, the two make a deal: Dean won’t ask about Evvie’s late husband, and Evvie won’t ask about Dean’s baseball career. Rules, though, have a funny way of being broken—and what starts as an unexpected friendship soon turns into something more. To move forward, Evvie and Dean will have to reckon with their pasts—the friendships they’ve damaged, the secrets they’ve kept—but in life, as in baseball, there’s always a chance—up until the last out.

I am admittedly a sports snob. Writing about sports is my thing and I’m super particular about reading about it. But this sounded good and for the most part it was good. Emotional, too. Like, “jeepers, that was intense” kind of emotional. But also some of the things Dean talked about were just...not how sports work and that drives me nuts. Also another story that was, as mentioned, super emotional only to get tied up in this nice little bow. Which, cool, but also...not? Just felt rushed at the end. 

IN WHICH SHIPPING IS QUESTIONED AND I JUST LIKE BEN BARNES

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo Soldier. Summoner. Saint. Orphaned and expendable, Alina Starkov is a soldier who knows she may not survive her first trek across the Shadow Fold—a swath of unnatural darkness crawling with monsters. But when her regiment is attacked, Alina unleashes dormant magic not even she knew she possessed. Now Alina will enter a lavish world of royalty and intrigue as she trains with the Grisha, her country's magical military elite—and falls under the spell of their notorious leader, the Darkling. He believes Alina can summon a force capable of destroying the Shadow Fold and reuniting their war-ravaged country, but only if she can master her untamed gift.As the threat to the kingdom mounts and Alina unlocks the secrets of her past, she will make a dangerous discovery that could threaten all she loves and the very future of a nation. Welcome to Ravka . . . a world of science and superstition where nothing is what it seems.

I wanted to like this so much. So, so much. And sometimes I did. Sometimes I did not. At all. World building is my weakness and this has got it in spades, but the characters are kind of—boring? I couldn’t really bring myself to care about Alina and I wanted to kick Mal in the shins sometimes. The only interesting one was The Darkling who’s like the embodiment of all evil and I am not here to ship-shame anyone, but it’s kinda weird to ship him and Alina. I pictured Ben Barnes the entire time. I’m still excited for the show. I’ll read the sequel at some point, probably. 

BEING A JERK IS NOT ROMANCE, YOU’RE JUST A JERK

Would Like to Meet by Rachel Winters It's Evie Summers's job to find out. Because if she can't convince her film agency's biggest client, Ezra Chester, to write the romantic-comedy screenplay he owes producers, her career will be over. The catch? Arrogant Ezra thinks rom-coms are unrealistic—and he'll only put pen to paper if Evie proves to him that it's possible to meet a man in real life the way it happens on the big screen. Cynical Evie might not believe in happily ever after, but she'll do what it takes to save the job that's been her lifeline . . . even if it means reenacting iconic rom-com scenes in public. Spilling orange juice on a cute stranger? No problem. Leaving her number in books all over London to see who calls? Done. With a little help from her well-meaning friends and the adorable father-daughter duo who keep witnessing her humiliations, Evie is determined to show Ezra she can meet a man the way Sally met Harry. But can a workaholic who's given up on love find a meet-cute of her very own?

I love cliches. Love ‘em. Want to read about ‘em, want to write about ‘em. Here for happily ever after. Much less here for the overused and antiquated cliche of dude doesn’t believe in love like girl does, dude ridicules girl’s belief, dude was secretly in love with her the whole time. It’s super dumb. And we should stop writing it. Also really done with rom com girl can’t figure out her life! she’s overworked! she doesn’t have time for her friends! Super duper dumb. I don’t know guys, this book happened. 

FAST-PACED ROMANCE ISN’T AS WEIRD WHEN IT’S WELL WRITTEN AND THERE’S A MOOSE INVOLVED

The Tourist Attraction by Sarah Morgenthaler He had a strict "no tourists" policy...until she broke all of his rules. When Graham Barnett named his diner The Tourist Trap, he meant it as a joke. Now he's stuck slinging reindeer dogs to an endless parade of resort visitors who couldn't interest him less. Not even the sweet, enthusiastic tourist in the corner who blushes every time he looks her way...

Two weeks in Alaska isn't just the top item on Zoey Caldwell's bucket list. It's the whole bucket. One look at the mountain town of Moose Springs and she's smitten. But when an act of kindness brings Zoey into Graham's world, she may just find there's more to the grumpy local than meets the eye...and more to love in Moose Springs than just the Alaskan wilderness.

This story of Alaska marries together all the things you didn't realize you needed: a whirlwind vacation, a friendly moose, a grumpy diner owner, a quirky tourist, plenty of restaurant humor, and a happy ending that'll take you away from it all.

I’m not one for slow burn, but I also have a hard time believing romances that happen in, like, a blink. Not the case here! It was so goddamn cute! There was a moose! Graham kept calling Zoey darlin’ and it made my heart try to explode in my chest! Stars Hollow-levels of small town with lots of side characters and a good plot and a restaurant that everyone always went to! You guys know I’m trash for everyone always going to hang out in the same restaurant! I’m reading the sequel now, so that’s how much I enjoyed it. 

AMAZON BOOKS THAT CONTINUE TO BE WAY BETTER THAN THEY SHOULD BE

Elodie of the Sea by Shari L. Tapscott (part of the Eldentimber Series) Eight years have passed since the marriage tournament that decided the fate of Princess Pippa of Lauramore and strengthened alliances between the kingdoms of Elden. The competitors have moved on with their lives. Some have found adventure; some have found love. Prince Bran of Triblue, however, has put his life on hold, preparing for his father's crown. Two days before Bran's winter coronation, just when the prince cannot afford distractions, a girl washes onto the Triblue shore. She has no memory of her past life, no clue who she is or where she belongs—nothing but a ring on her finger and a peculiar marking on her cheek. And the newly crowned king has more than a mysterious girl to worry about. The sea has become unpredictable. Storms claim ships in the dead of night, and sailors return with horrifying stories of monsters from the deep. It soon becomes clear the girl and the bizarre events are connected. The girl came from the sea... and the sea wants her back. But Bran isn't willing to give her or his kingdom up without a fight, even if it means he must request help from every corner of Elden.

Listen, sometimes you have to read about a mermaid who lost her memory and the soon-to-be-king who’s, like, immediately in love with her. I mentioned Tapscott’s books in the 2020 post and the sentiment remains the same. You ever read a book that reads like fic? Lots of banter, some romance, steady pacing. That’s what her books are like. There are five in the Eldentimber series, all about a different princess in a different kingdom, but they all connect so characters pop up again and again and then they kiss. It’s real good. 

[jj-lynn21]

"That was a bad plan."

Thank you. I didn’t know if you wanted a specific character so I included all I write for which was fun.

AU Bill Skarsgard

  You snuck into the theater as the commercials were still running easy enough. Bill just wanted a normal date night with dinner and a movie. He didn’t even care what movie as long as he could sit with you alone in the dark. Funhouse was not sold out, so you went to see it.

Bill chuckled at his Brother’s character. You slapped his arm a few times and buried your head in his should shielding your eyes from the screen other times.

“He would like to think he is a big ass social media personality.” Bill whispered to you.

“Shush, I am watching this.” You shook your head. “Oh, shit, fuck...” Your jaw dropped towards the end of the movie. “They didn’t?”

“Hell, yeah and that was the best part.” Bill looked around. He knew other movies would be letting out and he didn’t want the autograph hounds to start. You never make dinner reservation he made at your favorite restaurant. They always put you at a nice secluded table. “Okay, the plan is to go out the emergency exit so no one can see us. I will call Chester to meet us with the car there.”

You nod thinking he knows the best way to do these things. After all he had to learn something from his Father taking him places. And he dealt with this sort of situation his whole life.  Bill had a baseball cap to put on to hide as the other theater going passed. You snuck to the exit after everyone else had left.

As soon as he opened the door an alarm went off. The reporters and others ran around the Building. Flashes from cameras started blinding you both. Bill tried to shield you from the chaos.

“Did you like your Brother’s movie, Bill?”

“Bill, Bill, over here for a picture of you and your girl.”

“What is your name Miss?”

“Is this your first date?”

“Kiss for the camera.”

Chester started pushing people out of the way and opened the back door of the Lexus. Bill pushed you in the car as quick as he could before getting in himself. Chester sped off towards the restaurant.

“I’m sorry Babe.” Bill pulled you onto his lap and you clung to him from fear they would all follow. "That was a bad plan."

Mickey

“Okay, this plan is going to be quick and easy Babe.” Mickey was nervous but he was trying not to show it. He started working on the locked door. “The bag of cocaine is in the closet right inside the door. We do this and we get $200 to help get us to Florida. I promise it will be easy peasy.”

“Okay, Mickey.” You darted your eyes around to make sure no one was coming or could see you.  

“Got it.” Mickey opened the door.  

You both looked around at the plush surrounding. The white carpet spread across the entry way down a few steps to the sunken living room. You walked inside with your mouth wide open in awe.  

Mickey looked behind the door. There was no closet. You took the steps into the living room plopping down on the crimson chaise lounge. “This is the shit, Mick.”

“Yeah, but where’s the fucking closet?” Mickey chewed his nail for a second trying to ‘think like a closet’ was his exact thought. “If you were a closet, where would you be?”

You look up at him puzzled. Your nose crinkled. One eye quints shut and the other open as you thought about his question seriously. “If I was a closet...” You stood up. “I’d be behind the door.”

“Great thinking Babe.” Mickey praised. “But I checked there.”  

“Damn.” You looked around at the cream-colored walls filled with family photos. “Maybe the kitchen or the hall?”

“That is fucking awsome Babe.” He grabbed your face and kissed you passionately. You went for his belt. “Woe, we do this and we will be fucking on a beach in Florida in no time but right now just, we have to find the bag.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” You sighed.

He grabbed your face kissing you again. “Don’t ever be sorry about that shit. That’s love.”  

He went to the Kitchen and you went to hallway.  Mickey found the closet with the bag. Just as he was saying, “I found it.” You came running out. “Run!” He hears the barking of the Doberman dogs as he took your hand and ran for the car. The bag in his hand. One of the dogs ripped his baggy pants as Mickey was getting in the car. He slammed the door on it and it yelped running away. He felt bad he had to hurt the dog. You were in the car before either of them got you.  

“Are you okay, Mickey?” You panted.

“Yeah.” He laid back against the seat trying to catch his breath also. He started the car. "That was a bad plan."

“It wasn’t easy peasy.” You answered.

MARK 

“I have a Thanksgiving Day plan so we can have it with both our families.” Mark sounded excited over the possibility of being with a lot of people again. “If you are cool with it and it works, we can get together with friends for a Christmas Party.”

“Mark, I don’t think being around people right now in any capacity is safe.” You sighed deeply because you hated to shut down another one of his ideas before even hearing it. “Rona numbers have tripled. This town is on lock down. We might be fine if we got it, but we would be devastated if one of our parents died because we miss hugging people.” You hoped this wouldn’t turn into a fight.

“No one is saying anything about hugging, Babe.” He held his phone out to you.  “Just look at these.”

He showed you an advertisement for personal Bubbles. It was a giant inflatable bubble that was all around you other than your legs stuck out so you could walk. You started laughing hysterically. Mark furrowed his eyebrows pouting.  

“It is not perfect but we could interact with each other freely.”  

“It is thanksgiving.” You try to stop laughing. “How would we eat together?”

Mark shrugs.

 You shake your head. “That was a bad plan. Maybe we can come up with something better to see the families."

Willard

“Why would you join this fighting, Willard?” You asked as you held his hand in the emergency room.  

You had walked in on a huge fight happening at his workplace after hours. Willard looked like he was losing until you screamed for him and the fighter made some smart-ass sexual comment about you. That through Willard’s murderous tendencies into over-drive.  

He beat the guy to a bloody pulp three times worse than the guy had beat him. Willard was in need of more medical care than the local doctor could handle. So, it was an ambulance for one fighter and a hearse for the other.  

“I wanted to buy you that pretty dress you were lookin’ at in the store window the other day.” Willard mumbled with a mouth full of cotton to sop up the blood in his mouth. “Them church girls ain’t half as pretty as you are darlin’. You deserve the finer things.”

She shook her head. “"That was a bad plan. I need you more than I need some fancy dress for church. God don’t care what we wear as long as we praise him, right."

“Yeah, I reckon your right.”

Axel

“Come over here Babygirl.” Axel grinned licking his plump lips which always got you excited. He stood in front of his mustang with his arms folding know you would do anything he asked without question.

You sauntered over to him. Eyes on his as you bit at the corner of your bottom lip which you knew got his motor running. “What’s the plan, Big Daddy.”

“I got a big plan for you little girl.” he hummed as he grabbed his package with both hands through his cargo pants.  

As soon as you were close enough, he picked you up to put on the front of car like an ornament. You wrapped your legs right around his waist. He kept his eyes on you as he glided his hands up under your short pink skirt. Thumbs tuck into the sides of your panties.

“You going to unwrap yourself so I can get these off or you want me to try to fuck you through or around them?” He smirked.

You lean back on the palms of your hand and unwrap your legs. Axel pulls off your pants, pushed you up and gets on the car over you. “I’m going to fucking ruin you on this masterpiece of a sports car.”

“Do it.” You challenged.  

He plunged into your pussy fast and strong. You barely had time to breath correctly as you wrapped around him. Your hips pounded into his as you gasped. He growled as he plowed you. You forced him to roll to try take some control back. He loved when you fought for that control. As He grabbed your hair about to have you back on your back once again you rolled off the car onto the concrete.  

Axel was able to keep his head up, but it knocked the wind out of him. He could not speak. His eyes were wide open. You landed on top of him so other than a severe scare you were fine. Your connection lost in the fall.  

As soon as you could catch your breath you laid your hand on his face. “Axel, Axel, are you hurt.”

“"That was a bad plan." He groaned

Roman Godfrey

Roman came home from a ridiculously difficult day at work. He expected you to be waiting in his favorite little dress with nothing under it and a fresh glass filled with fresh blood from the bank. What he got was you with your knees to your chest sitting on the couch pouting.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He grabbed a blood bag from the refrigerator and drank straight from it like the uncivilized monster he felt like he was anyway.  

“You didn’t call me or text me or video chat me all day.” You whined.  

“Oh, so I have a busy ass day and you think you can get away with being a brat when I get home?” He tossed the bag in the trash before walking over to her to glare down menacingly. “Is this your plan?”

“Yes.” You said defiantly.  

"That was a bad plan." He picked you up tossing you over his shoulder. He smirked when he saw you had no panties on under his t-shirt. “Daddy is going to have to fuck the brat right out of you.” He slapped your ass.

You yelped but had a huge grin on your face. You knew this is what he really needed after his day. This is exactly what you both needed.  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #367

“i should warn you that you may fuck me, but chances are i’m gonna fuck you over”

Where was the last place you went for vacation? The beach. When was the last time you wore makeup? Halloween. Do you watch soaps or drama series? If so, which ones? Not currently. What’s your favourite tomato variety? I hate tomatoes. What was your very first pet like? Dad had a dog named Trigger when I was born, but I have no memory of her, so I'm excluding her. I consider our first family pet to be Chance, a cat my mom took in after finding her literally in the trash. She was... god, incredible. She was a loyal friend, and I can imagine no greater mother than she was (she legit fought off a rottweiler head-on to protect her kittens). She was so smart, so gentle, and just simply amazing. I'll always miss her. What was the best school project you remember doing? Looking back, despite the fact it TERRIFIED me before, that would be my senior project presentation. It was about snake misconceptions and fallacies, so I made a slideshow to present to the special ed class. I made drawings for them to color, word searches, all that kind of stuff. They were just the sweetest and seemed really into it. What’s your favourite type of fish to eat? None. What kind of an old person do you think you’ll become? I really... don't like thinking about this. Like I'm weak enough now at 25, I can't imagine how my, say, 60s would be. I hope and just about pray that my physical health will improve, but I'm just going to exclude that part entirely from this answer. Personality-wise and such, I have a feeling I'll be the quiet and sweet kind, the one that loves her (hopeful) spouse like crazy, and comes most alive on Halloween if I live in a place where children come trick-or-treating. I imagine I would LOVE that. I'd love to be the type that goes on morning jogs to help stay spry. Which well-known person’s death shocked you the most, if any? Steve Irwin and Chester Bennington might be tied. Both were so, so sudden. Steve was like, invincible to my childhood eyes, and when I heard about Chester's death, I thought it was just a sick rumor. Two amazing people that died way too soon. What’s the craziest colour you’d dye your hair? That would depend on personal opinions. I want to dye my hair LOTS of colors though, if that tells you anything. What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Uhhhh. Idk. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus. It's a pretty short game if you know what you're doing, and it's super relaxing to me and just so goddamn pretty to look at. Every time I've played it has just been a pleasant experience. Do you like meatloaf? Yeah, it's fine. How about Meatloaf? I know who he is, but I've never really listened to his music. Do you take time to do charitable work? If so, what do you do? No. ;_; Especially with all the free time I have, I really should... What is something that will make you laugh instantly? Okay, don't ask, but if I for a SECOND see that commercial of Mr. Clean dancing while he's cleaning, I will die because of memories. What is something you hope you will never inherit from a specific relative? Diabetes. It runs heavily in my family. Name a movie you wouldn’t watch solely based on its name: The Human Centipede. No. Thank you. Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. What’s your dearest souvenir? The stuffed moose I got at Cabela's during a visit to Ohio. I named him Brownie, and he was my "childhood plushie" we all have. Is there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? Not in the actual area I live in, but there are DEFINITELY places where it's a pigsty of distasteful shit. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn’t count!) No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No, that stuff doesn't interest me. What’s the most ecological thing you do? We recycle, and I also use metal straws. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. There is no fucking way I could do it. What’s your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? I like Clue just because of the mystery-solving factor, and I think it's kinda cool how you can think ahead and use other's findings to your own advantage to win the game pretty early. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Some German. It's gotten pretty weak with neglect, though. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you’ve been? This is a complicated answer that I just don't feel like elaborating on. What’s the most freeing thing you’ve ever done? Letting Jason go. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one? No, and I'm not interested. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? Honeysuckles. What has been your worst restaurant experience? Well, it's a fast food restaurant, but lemme tell you about my vegetarian encounter with Burger King. I ordered their veggie burger. Which they have. It's not a secret. These idiots gave me a bun with tomato and lettuce, and I think mayo on it, after sounding confused when Mom was ordering for me. Mom went back in there of course to tell them, and oh god was the manager pissed, lol. I got my veggie burger in the end. What’s the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? Some sexually inappropriate jokes can still get me sadly, lol. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? Not literally, but boy do I think depression counts. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else’s? If so, why? Y E P. I can't tell you why, I just... do it. I look at other's successes and am just like, "Why aren't I there yet?", and beat myself up about being a failure. What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? Brussel sprouts, asparagus, runny eggs, many other things because I'm just mega picky. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? Just the spray paint kind that vendors like to do at the beach and stuff. I don't remember any I got, though. What does your favourite mug look like? It's black with a Markiplier quote on it, given to me by Sara. :') Do you ever read other people’s survey answers? Yeah! Friends', anyway. I love learning all the obscure things about them. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, specifically early morning, because it's better for my depression. Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower? A follower that isn't afraid to speak up when I'm really against something. What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? I've been really into "7empest" by Tool lately, and the synthwave edit of "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you watched The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, who was your favourite character? I don't remember it well, but I think I liked the butler. Was there even a butler? Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') Do you have any plants in your home? No. If you wear makeup, what’s the most outrageous colour you use? I only ever use black. What was the last photograph you took? My cat being adorable while sleeping. <3 Have you ever submitted a video to Funniest Home Videos? No. What was the first sport you learned how to play? I want to say soccer? I absolutely hated it. Do you have a headache at the moment? Yes, actually. I've really been attacked by the Covid shot side effects. Are your parents still together? No, thank god. What was the last hot food you ate? I made a chicken and I think pesto (some Italian noodles, idk) Healthy Choice bowl for dinner last night. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. :( Do you ever feel afraid people will question your sanity? I'm sure people have before, and back then? Rightfully so. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? Never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? Always. It's so weird how it's gotten worse with time since leaving school, even though I write... Were you a straight A student in math? Yeah, no. I usually got Bs or Cs. What is your favorite shade of yellow? Pastel. I don't really like yellow. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Have a stable job. Are you afraid of getting yelled at? YES. Do you feel a connection to the moon? It's not something I think about, so not really, but I do believe all things in the universe are connected in some way. We are simply a part of nature, as all else is. What does your heart long for? Contentment in who I am and where I am in life. I know I also miss being in love. Do you know what your purpose in life is? We have no innate purpose; we make our own, and I want mine to be to show others that there is always hope for yourself in yourself, and also to spread the message of love of all animals. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? Last year I didn't. I really should change that this go around. Have you ever seen a fox? Yes! They're a kind of rare sight here sadly, so when I had the opportunity to photograph a fox tragically as roadkill, it was a photographic experience I won't forget. God, I wanted to pet it (I obviously didn't), but I did talk to it about how beautiful (s)he was as I got some shots. I never had a harder time leaving one of those angels I've taken pictures of. Do you find Halloween fun or scary? FUN!!!!!! Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? Not at all. What do the trees look like where you live? I mean, there's a variety, but the staple that you see literally everywhere are pine trees. What is your dream vacation? Somewhere with mountains, clear lakes, cool weather, beautiful and various wildlife... What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? The zoo in the 5th grade. It was the one occasion I got to see meerkats. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? I lived for them. Do you find museums boring or interesting? I find science museums to be very, very fascinating. Art ones are great, too. What are three issues you are passionate about? LGBT rights, the pro-choice movement, and wildlife conservation, to name a few. Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? No. I'm not patriotic enough at all. What size is your bed? Queen. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? When we were experimenting with my Klonopin dosage, I learned that 3mg was enough to knock me on my ASS. Do you like bath bombs? I mean they're pretty, but I wouldn't waste money on 'em. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? Yikes, a looooooot. But this also depends on what you think qualifies as "small." Most of my favorite "small" YTers are tarantula keepers or sub-1M let's players. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? Markiplier obviously, Snake Discovery, Good Mythical Morning (even if I don't watch them anymore, they are veeery dear to my heart and I will always support them), Sam & Colby... Again, there's a lot. When you don't watch TV and YT instead, you really get attached to a lot of them. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Would you believe me if I said Pussycat Dolls? haha Do you like Disney movies? Um, DUH. Were you ever in the popular crowd? No. Have you ever used an outhouse? UGH, at like childhood sports games, yes. I could NEVER nowadays, oh my god. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I have the creativity to, but not the dedication. Are there any foods that make you gag? Beans, for one. I just canNOT with them. It's a completely involuntary reaction. Have you ever had blonde highlights in your hair? I think I did? Who was the last person you video-chatted with? The lady who was seeing if I qualified for TMS therapy. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Definitely not, I love those. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I don't actually want one, but if I did, I'd go to a serious professional to get THE Darkiplier smile. :') If u know u know. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you think half blonde/half dark brown hair is attractive? It looks great on some people, but it's not my favorite combo.

[benscursedkid]

jdkdkdn okay so i accidentally deleted this ask, but since i always take a picture just in case i am still able to post this. hope you enjoy!!

p.s. i am still working on those follower specials, but school is virtual and it’s kicking my ass right now, so please stand by. i’m working on it. 💗

tulip

okay i hope we can all agree that tulip has some killer cheekbones

they’re just so pretty and always earns her a few second glances

not that she really cares but still

also i have this weird and unexplainable hunch that tulip is really good with latin

her best class is transfiguration and mcgonagall wishes she would put half her effort that goes into her pranks into the rest of her schoolwork

dennis has his own room at her house

there’s this decently sized coat closet that they don’t really use and so she took her allowance (because no magic over summer break) and used it to get decorations and such

dennis loves it

her parents always keep red tulips around there house and tulip doesn’t know why exactly but she doesn’t like them

she likes to hide her roommates things

not like important stuff that would give them a heart attack if it went missing but like.

rowan’s nightstand is very spick and span with everything in its place?

oh would you look at that, one of her quills is gone? yeah and now that i look at it, isn’t that my charms homework? what is it doing over here?

just little things to entertain herself

she also plays pranks of course but i don’t have enough brain cells to get into all those

tulip, tonks, and jae are the school’s trio of pranksters

if you ever see the three of them together? just lounging or passing by? run

if they aren’t in the midst of a prank already, then they’re planning one

either way you probably don’t want to be there right now

neither of her parents have siblings or cousins either so she’s really just been itching to get out there

she hates the holiday breaks

sometimes she doesn’t even go during Christmas as there’s only a 50% chance her family won’t be working anyway

she loves giving gifts to her friends on the occasions where it calls for it

it’s not normally something she likes to do

but she loves giving... interesting gifts

something that is so undoubtedly tulip that twenty years from now they’ll still remember it

but she’s not evil so most of them are still useful

she’s versatile and her gifts reflect that

she loves working in silence so that she can hear herself think

sometimes she does her best work alone, only dennis for company, and the only sound other than his croaking is the little ramblings she’ll allow herself to say out loud

but that’s typically when she’s creating something

she has an entirely different process than, let’s say, when she’s planning something

which is basically just lots of racket and a vivid and lively environment

it gets her ideas flowing

also she’s definitely the type who either takes her coffee black or with lots of syrups

end of question

she was really fond of chester even if she gave him a rather hard time

in her mind, that was the best way she could come up with to say as much

lastly I imagine she’s the kind of person who loves using psychology tricks on people for fun

really likes it when strangers get confused around her

half the school thinks she’s a little off her rocker but she’s also strangely? cool? like that’s her reputation.

a cool, eccentric ravenclaw you don’t want to be caught in an enclosed space with.

I think that actually says a lot

erika

so I know most people call her rath but I’ve just always said erika for whatever reason so we’re going with that

i imagine that, for no reason other than just because i can, that the name erika is actually a recycled name within her family

by that I mean she was named after a family member. maybe her grandmother.

I also don’t think that it was her who originally initiated the switch from erika to rath

I can see other little kids who she interacted with growing up calling her rath because maybe they thought she was a little scary

and after being told what wrath is and learning of her surname it just kinda fit?

also, don’t come at me for this pls, but i know canonically speaking she’s a ravenclaw, unless you’re mc is a ravenclaw in which case she’s a slytherin

but I’ve always just placed all the quidditch kids in separate houses even though it totally fucks with the story

I’ve said this before in my skye hcs but I’ve always seen her as more of a gryffindor than anything else

orion gives me big ravenclaw vibes

murphy strikes me as the opposite of your stereotypical hufflepuff

and rath radiates slytherin energy to me

I didn’t plan on them all being in different houses but I realized that it just kinda fit?

besides, rath does face against both skye and orion here anyway and it gives all three of them the chance to be their own respective team’s captain

she just comes across as very competitive, ambitious, and determined to me but she also has her own code of honor that applies strictly to her specific morals which is also a very slytherin thing

she’s a bit on the tall side too

I’d say maybe 5’7

5’9 maximum

(idk what that is in cm very sorry)

she’s very respectful of her teammates as well as her fellow housemates

she has a sort of comradery/brotherhood pride about her

not a big fan of sweets

if she eats chocolate, it’s usually the dark or mint chocolates

has abs

but that’s a given

no allergies, 20/20 vision

no pets but she secretly wants to get a dog

also, she’s a capricorn

i don’t make the rules

her hair is naturally very curly and she just uses magic to straighten it

she doesn’t like all the upkeep that comes with containing her natural hair

so she just doesn’t

loves oranges but I couldn’t tell you why

she has two siblings

an older brother (Ayden, by 6 years)

and a younger sister (Ellery, by 10 years)

again, I don’t make the rules, okay?

also, don’t ask me why I feel the need to name them bc idk either

obviously they can’t be sure about Ellery yet by the time Erika is in school, but thus far she’s the only person in her family who has shown an interest in professional quidditch

Ayden played on the hufflepuff team while he was in school but didn’t think to make a career out of it

very close with her father

not that she’s not close with her mother, she’s just always gotten along swiftly with her dad

she’s irish, have fun ;)

[anxiousdepressedintrovert]

Otome Wednesday (AKA the late af one) Don’t hate me (T_T)

Y’all my weekend was shiitty

I’m not even gonna get into again but let it be known that it was shitty.

I’m gonna post all of LSV tomorrow. 

Anywaay--

The Royal Heir Chapter 10: The one where I really wanna “accidently” shoot he who shall not be named OR A Fox in the Henhouse 

-Ah yes, let’s have a hunt with a fucking toddler around

-Bitch, call me a outsider again. See what the fuck ima do to your crusty ass

-Thank you Liam.

-Bart, you don’t have respect for customs. And you didn’t even raise your own kids

-Hakim, Landon…thin ice

-Oh the ageism is rampant

-Yeah, The people actually parenting a baby can’t just fucking leave

-idiot

-I would sooner burn Cordonia to the ground than leave her with anyone you’ve “prepared”

-I DON’T TRUST MADELEINE! Why is she always an option! Why isn’t Olivia?

-Queen Mother is the only one I trust, and that’s barely.

-Savannah standing up to Bertrand in the last chapter was a small step in the right direction for her

-Yes, Eleanor, go with Gamma.

-OMG I love this child. I want to play as her more

-At some point we (if you’re Queen) need to officially declare Hana a lady-in-waiting. Cause it’s a huge honor, and she basically already is. Not to mention she gets perks from that as well. (I’m totally not giving away plot point for my story)

-I love this hunting outfit. It’s so cute. And practical. And PANTS. For fucking once.

-Though how boss would it have been if we did, ride, shoot and win the hunt in our ball gown? Baller AF

-Marabelle! I haven’t seen you for like, two books! (It might’ve been sooner but my memory is terrible)

-Hehe, love my awestruck husband

-This not foxhunt sounds boring af. The only part that sounds fun is the bow shooting

-Of course Bart gave us a nose blind dog. Ugh

-At least Chester’s cute

--OMG puppy heaven

-Onward Chester! …in the wrong direction

-Maxwell packed the motherload of jerky

-Ew, Bart.

-But at least we’re on the trail again

-Bart doesn’t deserve Rex

-So naturally, I’m going to mess with him

-Beef jerky distraction

-works every time

-go chester go

-Who’s a good nose blind baby?! It’s Chester!

-Of course Bart goes blaming Rex. Cause nothing is EVER his own fault

-#saverex2020

-suck it Bart

-Oh look, a crow.

-Time to have Bart freak the fuck out

-I’m excited

-Bring on the shenanigans

-Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa

-This entire scene is gold

-I really wanna know what happened to traumatize him this much

-Haha, he has to forfit!

-Why is the press judging the riding portion of this?

-I’m not mad, I just wanna know

-Cause they’re kinda biased/easily swayed

-Ugh why did he have to come back.

-Why couldn’t he have gotten…idk mauled by a bear or something

-If this asshole says one more thing about tradition. I’m gonna strangle him with my bare hands. Cause that is traditional.

-I do have a soft spot for archery though

-He’s compensating for something

-lack of being a decent human being probably

-Who could have come prepared for a surprise archery shoot?

-Oh finally honorary Beaumont status coming in handy

-Have some diamonds. I wanna show off

-Ah Liam and Drake betting again. If it wasn’t so rare, I’d say they had a problem

-Wooowwww. Maxwell took the bow Bart tried to give us and it didn’t even last nocking the arrow

-Yeah, he better not protest. All that shit he was talking about me being an honorary Beaumont

-Yeah I am Liam, yeah I am

-Hakim, you’re still on thin ice

-Nah, bitch. Won your petty challenge too.

-Oh my baby girl is back!

-I need to know what she got up to while we were gone.

-What playroom for a princess doesn’t have a castle. Lame af

-That’s what I said Liam!

-Oh no! What’s he doing to Todd!

-Leave him alone!

-I don’t wanna hear shit from a man who ran away from raising his sons. And even when he was there, was shit at that.

-Yas Ana, style over all

-Yes! Another chance to show up Bart? Yes please

-She said “How-see” My little angel

-Stealing Bart’s limelight

-Cause I’m petty and an opportunist

-HAHAHAHAHAHA Bart attempts to cradle Todd and Todd said “fuck that” and bit the shit out of him

-Good girl Todd

-BRB sobbing.

-My baby’s meeting her first horse

-Her name is Apple

-Maxwell. HER NAME. IS. APPLE.

-Of course Daddy get’s to take his little girl

-Pfftt Liam called Cordonia citizen’s creatures. Which…ya know. I get

-Ugh, that little Tankyu

-Landon, thin ice. No polo until she’s at least ten

-OHH that CG is so cute!!!! T_T

-I can’t wait to see what the next chapter is gonna be

-Oh nooo not the sad face Ellie!

-Did he just call my baby, the child he’s trying to take, a distraction?

-Yeah. I’m def beatin his ass

-Oh yeah! Master of the Hunt!

-Queen Riley, Duchess of Valtoria, Champion of the Realm, Master of the Hunt, Mother of Corgis

-As I said before.

-I would sooner stab this crusty old man with that knife Olivia gave me in Book 1, than let this man, who couldn’t raise his own kids, parent-shame me. In my own god-damned house. Cause I will air his dirty laundry. And I can do it without mentioning anything about his fake illness.

[taeguboi]

BTS as... Rockers

Ngl, I panicked a little when I checked on the masterlist because an older post about BTS as rock band members was labelled as this title and I’d already written this one for like 3 members already. There’s various genres I mention, some of which are also metal and pop but I thought a simple general title would be best here.

Anyways, my second post coming back recently. Hope you enjoy.

RM

Mainly a classics man

Loves to analyse lyrics

and loves writing his own lyrics based on his current favourites

It’s like a form of literature to him

Loves to chill out to prog and psychedelic rock

Accidentally had the same music tastes as that weird geography teacher in school

Probably has a pet named after a member of a power / symphonic metal band

sorry I’m a bit of a Nightwish nerd and now I can just imagine him calling for his dog “Floor!” and everyone getting confused because they think he’s just shouting at the ground

this is the kind of genre he likes the most other than classic rock; that’s where the most literature references are. It’s poetry about poetry

Has a journal of art and lyrics quotes for when he’s super into a song

Could be mistaken for a geek in school 

because to a juvenile ear, his taste in music might be challenging to listen to

like no one else had the patience aged 12 to listen to a 9 minute song or an instrumental track

and then even at 15/16, how many people your age would listen to Dark Side Of The Moon?

Guess he would say music is all about sitting back and listening and taking it in

Would love to be a songwriter for the right kind of singer

unfortunately though, he’s a bit of a loner

likes his own company too much

it’s probably the solitude that motivates him to write 

too many more friends than he already has would be too much of a distraction

It’s not a sad situation though

music is what Namjoon loves the most

and “nothing else matters”

Oh yes, let’s have a bit of Metallica in there too

It’s not until he finishes school that he becomes more in touch with what people in the current world of rock and metal like

discovered “Rollin’” by Limp Bizkit like WAY too many years after it came out

“Have you heard this ace song man?”

“yep... in 2004 dude”

“oh”

But he’s no ashamed or anything, no

He’s proud to be a fan of the bands he likes

even if they aren’t to everyone’s tastes

“Well, sorry if this isn’t some 3 minute long four chord song repeating the same 5 words”

If they don’t appreciate it, their loss

Jin

The old ones are the best ones

Think 50s rock n’ roll; Little Richard, Elvis, and so on

mixed with guilty pleasures of songs about ‘my baby girl’

Loves themed music nights

Whilst of course his favourites are the 50s themed ones

he also loves showing up to 60s nights to flaunt the flower power

or 80s nights in a fun wig as some member of a hair metal band

all the styles are very fun

but on a daily basis, he’s basically dresses like a teddy boy

tight trousers with white socks peaking out

jacket - sometimes a suit jacket, sometimes denim

as you can imagine, when a lot of this stuff comes back in fashion...

“Well, I did it first...”

you know, in this era he means he did it first

Loves a good finger clicker song

Once considered doing a tribute act around pubs and clubs

but he couldn’t decide who he wanted to be

Probably should take a role in some live production of Grease

he’s seen it enough times

and he can sing

He reckons he could never do theatre for long though

his fantasies are with playing instruments to perform

talented keyboard player

starting to get the hang of guitar too

but he does get carried away whilst trying to learn guitar

because he wants to add on all the cool moves NOW

He’s got some bangers he created on the keyboard though

he didn’t really intend to create original songs

it just happened one day after a break up

and he listened to Heartbreak Hotel

too many times

he just sat at his keyboard

and made something that really felt special

and then the day after that, he made a more upbeat song

and the week after that, he has 4 full songs in total

Open mic nights become something he enjoys 

a bit of a local celebrity

“Would you play my grandma’s 80th party? Pleeeease?”

and aww bless him, he plays all the throwback songs at care homes

all free of charge

slips in some of his original music too

“Ooh, I’m afraid I don’t remember that one dear, must be my brain”

“Oh, no no no” explains Jin “I made it myself”

Old dears just love him basically

but so do the girls his age

Whilst some think the whole 50s get up is a bit lame

some go wild for it

because he dons all his outfits so well

and his songs feel so true to the era they were inspired by

you gain a love for the 50s just from watching Jin

Talented boy, keeping the 50s alive

Suga

A lot say Yoongi has an acquired taste

an electronic element to rock or metal always makes it more interesting to him

loves industrial music - NIN for days

Linkin Park made most of his jams

cried for half a day at the news of Chester no longer being with us

Likes a bit of new wave, synthpop, all that

emo songs just help you through the bad times okay

Can equally enjoy a dub festival as much as a rock concert

some people think his taste is actually naff

but then they realise he also listens to the likes Foo Fighters or Sum 41

Plays like the same 30 songs on repeat

but his collection has so much more

He has some rock and blues for the road trip

he’s got your 70s singalongs for the party

Was briefly a DJ at a rock bar

got fired for not playing enough popular songs in his set

“wtf I thought this was a bar where people could appreciate this” huffs Yoongi

“yes but people want to sing to ‘down with the sickness’ or something, not ‘down in the park’!”

“stuff you then, I’ll take Gary somewhere else with me”

guilty pleasure: Kate Bush

A somewhat gothic sense of style

but not overwhelmingly gothic

He likes bandannas and black clothes

not always in black clothes though

sometimes the merch he wants just isn’t available in black

but no worries

as long as he can happily flaunt the music that makes him who he is

J-Hope

Can listen to any rock genre

give him something and he probably already loves it

So yeah, the band members are pretty cool and all that

but what Hoseok has more interest in the backstage roles

he’d love to manage a rock band

be a tour manager

guitar tech

Much knowledge is stored in that brain of his

and he wants to put it to good use

He starts out as a promoter and organiser for the rock bar in town

which he eventually lives above 

His events are ace

he can pick out fresh talent that everyone on that scene can enjoy

His showcase nights are the place to be

everyone can agree, he’s got amazing taste

no one can disagree with him

He’s a one man show and still managed to pull it off

he’s the promoter, the sound guy, the tech on all the instruments

way more professional than most other local music events

He takes pride in his work

did I mention he’s so good, it becomes a full time job?

As time goes by, he listens to less and less older music

but that’s okay

he’s happy with the time it takes to listen to all the up and coming bands

in the moment is where you should live

and he can still appreciate a band’s influences should they initiate conversation

“man, this dude really knows his stuff”

“will you manage our next tour?”

“can you do sound at our next gig? our guy’s rubbish”

and that one is like right in front of their current sound guy

The future is bright for Hoseok

his love for rock music could really earn him a solid living

Jimin

Some say he’s a bit of a poser in his leather jacket

but he really does love his rock music

Sometimes a bit behind on modern rock bands or releases

Low key wishes he was born in the 50s / 60s 

just so he could live in his favourite eras

his heart really lies with the classics

60s, 70s, 80s.

90s at a push

not the later 90s where grunge bands did pop

ew

actually any movie made in that time makes him cringe

like he’s all up for good clean fun

but christ it’s like they were trying to go back to the 50s or something

not everything is ‘swell’ you know

Don’t get him wrong though

he does also like some 50s music

He may or may not have spent that one time acting like Elvis in the mirror

it really hyped him up before a night out though

it may or may not have become a thing before going out in the evenings to boost his confidence

His all time favourite bands have to be The Rolling Stones and AC/DC

and no, he couldn’t pick between the two, ever

Doesn’t really have a desire to be in a band

but sort of accidentally picks up the bass to help out a mate in a band

and sort of accidentally becomes a permanent member

It’s just a cover band

but it’s so much fun

Sometimes, you can have a really bad day

and then listening to 23 people singing “I Love Rock n Roll”

kind of lifts your mood

“Play Wonderwall!”

gets a bit annoying to him

kind of wants to hit that one guy around the head with his bass

but he holds back

Because being aggressive wouldn’t be very rock of him

and whilst he does like punk music

he’s definitely not a punk

Screw all that political rubbish

music should be to enjoy yourself with

stop worrying about the world for one minute and

let’s sing about whiskey and cigarettes and just living life

“What do you MEAN you don’t know any Def Leppard songs?”

“For crying out loud!”

He tries to understand that not everyone will listen what the music he likes

“but... like seriously, how can you not though?”

V

Probably likes all the underrated bands

Loves vinyl

definitely collects vinyls

Likes to shop at vintage stores to fulfil his obscure taste

People are like “you paid £60 just for that?”

but to Tae, it’s worth every penny

He likes the classics too

he can sing along in a rock bar to all the well known tunes

old or modern

and there may be loads in his vinyl collection barely anyone recognises

but there’s some more familiar faces too

there’s The Beatles, Guns n’ Roses, Foo Fighters, anything like that

it’s just only like 20% of his huge collection

Whilst his style is inspired by those he idolises...

he can never copy them

that would be an insult to them and his originality

Plays guitar and writes songs

never anything soppy though

actually fairly hesitant to pick up an acoustic guitar

always plays electric

and the songs he makes are about having a good time, life experiences

but not about love

He can listen to a couple of cheesy tracks

he just won’t make any

“Who the heck is John Otway, Tae?”

“Oh, you know, Wild Willy Barrat”

“Willy who?”

“Cor baby, that’s really free!”

“....”

“Headbutts! da da da da da... Headbuttttsssss”

I feel like rocker V loves anything that feels slightly random

probably make his own secret songs that sound silly to others

Probably has a band that never gigs

it’s him singing and playing guitar

and a bassist and drummer that aren’t really sure why they’re here

but they kind of like the unique stuff he does

and the band is almost purposely bad

“It’s the imperfections that really give a song character”

Jungkook

Modern rock and metal

low key emo

Tears Don’t Fall by BFMV on repeat aged 14, his first break up

Lives for festivals

like when he goes to work, that is what he is earning money for

well, that and bills and food

has a jar for each festival he wants to go to this year

Also loves a bit of melodic punk

like when that one Australian band are finally coming to his country

he HAS to go

help me I’m really sad because this is me and The Decline were supposed to be coming to the UK and then this pandemic happened and now I might never see them criii

Has a playlist for every aspect of life

every feeling, every colour, every occasion

songs that remind him of a time, ones where he can visualise a colour...

many people don’t get it

“how many playlists?”

“how can a song be a colour?”

it just is

like come on, listen to this Red Jumpsuit Apparatus song 

and tell him this doesn’t remind you of gold

Could be a journalist

knows everything and anything about his favourite bands

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

because it’s the perfect mixture of everything he loves about music

vests because M.Shadows

So badly wants to be in a band

tries every instrument you could find in a typical rock band

loves the drums

gets stuck on guitar though in his first band

well, he was just desperate to go gigging

he left after a year and a bit though

got boring

forms his own band instead around him being on the drums

Lives for this band

it’s like a rock band but with political lyrics

and they can perform at most events

they just fit any bill

gigs are booked almost every weekend

road trip with the lads

they travel like 50 miles just to be paid in beer only

Dreams of big time collaborations

that will probably never happen and he knows that

but it’s nice to dream, right?

puts on his own gigs a few years down the line

of course his own band are always on the bill

everyone thinks his gigs are a hoot

He even manages to book some lesser known punk bands 

but they are a massive deal to him

“God, I love live music!”

“Do you always wear a black shirt guk?”

“Hey, I’m a drummer! It’s hard work; a lot of sweat involved... I’m sure no one wants to see my wet pits whilst trying to enjoy the show”

and then that person wishes they never asked...

but he’s right

he knows that a good band is all about the hard graft and work

and he is always so thankful for the great rock bands that influence him

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Give You a Heart

A/N: Hey lovelies! To celebrate the release of FNAC Remastered, I figured I’d post an old fic of my favorite animatronic from the series: Blank! I wrote this back in 2016 during Valentine’s Day and I’ve made some revisions since my writing’s a little different now. I also added an extra little ending!

On another note, I hc his voice to sound like David Near’s interpretation of him. I adore it a lot! (the original video is deleted so this SFM is all I could find)

Summary: Child!Reader is eager to celebrate Valentine’s Day at their favorite restaurant, Candy’s Burgers and Fries. They wanna share their love and appreciation for Blank, although when they find him in a decrepit state and behaving strangely, will they be scared off or will they overcome their fear and see that he isn’t a heartless monster?

When your parents pushed open the glass doors, you immediately grinned and ran inside, pausing to take a whiff at the familiar smells of hamburgers and french fries.

It was a delicious aroma you’ve grown quite accustomed to ever since you started visiting Candy’s Burgers and Fries on their grand opening. While you’ve liked Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria’s characters, you weren’t really a fan of their greasy pizza and putrid smells of oil and old pennies. So your parents decided to take you here instead after that place got shut down from technical errors and several violations from the local health department.

“Welcome to Candy’s Burgers and Fries!” A cheerful employee greeted you and your parents. She was wearing a headband with heart antennas since it was Valentine’s Day, after all.

“Thank you!” You waved to her as your parents took you to the dining room, where Candy and Cindy were performing on stage, singing “I Can’t Help Myself” by The Four Tops.

However, you weren’t particularly interested in visiting them, but, rather, someone else who you’ve made a friendship with since day one.

You clutched your backpack and looked to your parents, giving them the classic “puppy dog eyes”. They knew immediately what that meant and smiled, giving you the okay to go as long as you were back in 20 minutes.

“Thank you!” After you hugged them, you took off and skipped off to the Drawing Room, hoping there weren’t too many kids there already.

...only to find that Blank was nowhere to be seen.

The boxes of crayons and markers were still in their respective boxes on the tables, rather than being open and scattered all over the checkered floor. You frowned slightly, disappointed, although when you saw an employee enter the room, grumbling about a “goddamn machine”, you approached him.

“Excuse me, mister..where’s Blank?”

“O-Oh! Hey, kiddo!” He forced a smile, putting a wrench in his back pocket. “Uh..I’m afraid Blank’s not feeling too well today. The holidays can be tiring for him so..come back tomorrow and he’ll be fine.”

“Awh, I promised I’d see him today.” You pouted. “But alright.”

The employee simply nodded and headed out of the room. With a sigh, you decided to return to your parents, and maybe see Chester along the way.

But as you left the Drawing Room too, you ended up being lost in a section of the restaurant, where there were no decorations or even posters. It made you feel uneasy, but you kept walking.

Rounding the corner, you stopped when you saw a door labeled “Storage Room”. Although common sense told you not to go in there, curiosity got the best of you as you opened the door anyway.

It creaked rather loudly, and you froze as you heard a robotic voice on the other side.

"Who’s there?”

It took you a moment, but you grinned as you recognized the voice to be none other than-

“Blank!” You giggled, entering the room and closing the room. “It’s me! Don’t you remem....”

However, your eyes widened in shock as you saw him sitting against the wall. He looked badly damaged, with cracks and holes in both his head and chest area, as well as his left forearm missing its covering and the hand on that same arm being completely gone. His suit seemed old and dirty, with faded drawings still scribbled on him.

He didn’t look anything like the Blank you’ve met last time.

Gasping, you rushed over to him and sat down, looking at him up and down. “B-Blank..what happened..?” You reached out to him, although you jumped as his right hand suddenly shot out and grasped your arm tightly. “O-Ow!”

“What do you think?” He snarled in a deeper voice, pulling you towards him as his eyes narrowed and began glowing. “Y-Y-You did this...to me. You all treated me like I’m trash..you brats have no respect for things that don’t belong to you!!”

“Y-You’re..hurting me..” You whimpered, tears pricking your eyes as you put your hand over his. “Blank...s-stop..”

The canvas animatronic chuckled, although when he saw your tears, that’s when he returned to his senses and realized what he was doing. With a robotic gasp, he released his grip, recoiling his hand. 

“O-Oh no..I’m...so sorry....[y/n].” He mumbled, horrified at the bruise that started forming on your skin.

“I-It’s okay,” you tried reassuring him, hiding the bruise, but it seemed far too late as Blank looked away from you in shame. “I-I know you’re not feeling well and I...I should’ve listened to that man but...I just wanted to see you so badly! I promised you I would.”

He looked back at you, surprised. “E-Even after what I did..you still want to see me?”

“Of course! You’re my favorite!” You grinned as you took off your backpack, pulling out a small box of crayons. “Mind if I draw something on you?”

“...sure, as long as it’s not just..random scribbles, you know..”

“Never. Every drawing I give you has meaning.” You giggled once more.

Blank smiled in relief. You were special to him, as every time you came to Candy's you always went to see him no matter what. And you'd always draw something nice on him, as opposed to the messy scribbles the toddlers would put all over him.

Around the other kids, his voice was programmed to be monotonous, as his name is "Blank" after all. But around you, he felt more...comfortable speaking to you freely, and actually expressing what robots usually lacked: emotions.   

"So what’s your idea?"

"A heart."

He blinked for a moment. “Ah, it’s Valentine’s Day isn’t it? I should’ve known but...you see um..” As he gestured to the hole in his chest, he was surprised to see that you were drawing the shape of a heart around it.

"I know you guys don't have hearts," you explained, filling in the remaining space around the hole with the same crayon. "So I decided to give you a heart!"

If robots could blush, Blank's face would surely be as red as that crayon right now. He was stunned by your generosity..even after you saw what he looked like and the way he attacked you so viciously.

“I’m sorry the others are treating you like trash,” you frowned, before a smile returned to your face. “But I promise..when I grow up I’ll work here and look after you. I’ll make sure nobody’s ever mean to you again.”

Chuckling, he looked at you with a smile. “Thank you, [y/n]. I hope to see you then.”

“Of course! And Blank?”

“Hm?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my bestest friend.”

“...haha, same to you, best friend.”

.

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.

.

“Goddamn machines. Can you all stay in one place, please?” You huffed as you sat in the swivel chair, looking around the cameras on the monitor.

It’s been at least a decade or so since you’ve made a promise to Blank that you’ll look after him. You ended up getting hired as a security guard for the animatronics, so in a way...you did keep your promise.

Usually Blank stayed in the Drawing Room, inactive although he occasionally turned his head towards you, giving you an odd stare. But then again the other animatronics acted weirdly, too, so you just focused on your job and made sure they didn’t get into your office.

When you checked that room, though, your heart dropped into your stomach upon seeing that he was nowhere to be found. 

“Shit..” Frantically looking at the cameras, you finally spotted him on CAM 05. 

He seemed to be right in front of your office, exactly where the window before was. Then he twisted his body and retracted his fist, looking directly into the camera as he punched-

“AH!” The sound of shattering glass made you shift away from the desk as shards spilled onto the desk, knocking some of the items onto the floor.

After that you were plunged into total darkness, despite knowing damn well you still had power left over.

But you held your breath as you heard clanking footsteps, shakily taking out a flashlight. When you flicked it on, you saw Blank looming over you, his eyes glowing.

You then shined the light on a familiar spot on his chest, your worries dissipating as you smiled warmly. “You still got a heart, huh?” You chuckled.

He closed his mouth, blinking a few times in surprise, before he examined you closely and finally recognized you.

“...[y/n]?”

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. 6 of the songs you listen to most? Hmm. I have a lot of songs that I listen to a lot.

2. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I mean, I wouldn’t mind meeting Alexander Skarsgard.... just sayin’. 

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “It never seemed to be a big deal, really.”

4. What do you think about most? The current thing going on the world, my health stuff, I worry about my loved ones, and just... life. My mind is a jumbled mess, honestly. There’s a lot going on up there.

5. What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Thank you.”

6. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With. I don’t feel comfortable naked. I very much like clothes.

7. When is the last time you played the air guitar? Whenever I hear Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. 

8. Do you have any strange phobias? Yeah. 

9. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, definitely.

10. Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Linkin Park. We go way back (since my middle school days) and they have relatable songs and I just really love them. I’m sad I never got to see them in concert. RIP Chester. 

11. What does your URL mean? Welp, I just love me some surveys.

12. Who is/are your celebrity crush/es? Alexander Skarsgard, duh.

13. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Noooo.

14. How do you vent your anger? Uh, cry? And vent and ramble about it in a survey and/or Twitter.

15. Do you have a collection of anything? Giraffe stuffed animals and keychains. 

16. Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Gah, neither. 

17. What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Eatings sounds; the sound of waves crashing in and out.

18. Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I believe in spirits. I don’t believe in aliens. 

19. Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. I don’t touch anything when I stick out my right arm. I touch the wall with my left arm. 

20. Smell the air. What do you smell? I don’t really smell anything at the moment.

21. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Hmm.

22. What’s the weather like right now? It’s currently 61F. 

23. What time is it? 5:03AM.

24. What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading, “The House That Jack Built” by Willow Rose. It’s the 3rd book in a series.

25. Do you have any nicknames? Just Steph and Sis.

26. What was the last film you saw in the cinema? The Invisible Man. Man, that feels like forever ago.

27. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? The one that made me a paraplegic takes the cake.

28. Do you have any obsessions right now? Wingstop, my ongoing coffee obsession for several years now is still alive and well, ramen, brownies, mystery and psychological thriller books, a few TV series...

29. What’s your sexual orientation? Straight. 

30. What is your astrological sign? Leo.

31. Do you save money or spend it? I’ve been pretty good about saving it this year, actually. 

32. What’s the last thing you purchased? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks.

33. In a relationship? Nope.

34. How many relationships have you had? Two, I guess. I say that because neither were serious relationships.

35. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope.

36. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes.

37. Are you wearing socks right now? Yep. I always wear socks.

38. What’s your favourite animal? Dogs and giraffes.

39. Where is your best friend? In her room asleep.

40. What were you doing last night at 12AM? Eating ramen and watching YouTube.

41. What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? I can’t help but dance (and by dance I mean bob my head and move my arms a bit) when upbeat, catchy songs come on.

42. What size shoes do you wear? 6 in women’s (US).

43. What is a saying you say a lot? “I want Wingstop.” haha. 

44. What’s the last song you listened to? Savage by Megan the Stallion. 

45. Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? Pastels, rose gold, coral, mint green, and yellow.

46. What is your current desktop picture? A black and white photo of Alexander Skarsgard.

47. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Time with my grandma (she passed away 15 years ago, but I miss her and think about her everyday) <3

48. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Well, I can’t now, but in the future I’d love to go somewhere beachy. I need a nice getaway. 

49. Do you have any relatives in jail? Yes.

50. What’s the background/lockscreen on your phone? Lock screen is Alexander Skarsgard (surprise, surprise) and my home screen is a photo that my brother took at Disneyland. It’s a really nice photo of Cinderella’s castle at night all lit up with a statue of Walt and Mickey Mouse in the forefront.

51. Do you have any tattoos? Nope.

52. How old will you be in 5 months? 31. Even though I think that since this year is cancelled, birthdays shouldn’t count. We don’t age this year, kay? Kay.

53. What career did you want when you were a child? I wanted to be a teacher.

54. What was the last photo you took on your phone? A few photos of my doggo.

55. Any piercings? Just my ears.

56. List every favourite TV show of yours? I don’t want to list every favorite TV show.

57. Do the same for your favourite movies. Noooo.

58. What’s your height? Like 5′4.

59. What did you do today? So far I’ve watched YouTube, scrolled through Tumblr, and did a survey.

60. What are your middle names? I’m not sharing that.

61. Ask any question/s you want, I’ll answer all. Who are you?

[juniperwindsong]

Dragonology 101 (4/10)

Summary: 

"Blimey...this is you just liking something? I hate to imagine what you'd be like with something you actually love."

If Felix Rosier, age sixteen, strict Slytherin prefect and manically dedicated 6th year student, had been told that one year in the future he would be spending nearly a third of each week sneaking out of school to visit a dragon in the dead of night, he would have docked points from whatever student was making up such a slanderous lie. And yet now he can be found, by those who bother to look, kipping in the back of classes, shirking prefect duties as often as he can get away with it, and nicking dead animals from the Care of Magical Creatures paddock whenever Kettleburn is not around.

Felix has no idea where this rebellious streak originated. True, he has never been afraid to bend or even break the rules on occasion in order to keep Slytherin the top house. He's jinxed other students, dueled outside classes, and lied to professors, but he has always justified his actions as necessary for the greater good of his house. Reckless rule breaking that does not further Slytherin's reputation or chances of winning the house cup, Felix considers selfish, a betrayal of their fraternity. He has never even broken curfew before, or sneaked down to the kitchens to steal food, let alone thrown nearly half the school rules out the window just to feed a dragon with Jacob Windsong's little sister.

Maybe she's been a bad influence, Felix thinks to himself one Transfiguration lesson after failing to answer Professor McGonagall's question for the second time. A year ago, he would have been livid with himself, but vanishing cauldrons seems so trivial now next to the very real presence that is the growing dragon. Felix is changing, he knows, his iron-clad discipline creaking under the strain of his newly discovered passion, and nights when he's not escaping to the forest it takes all his efforts to keep his mind on his studies.

Yes, it would be easy to blame the 13 year old curse-breaker, who has never met a rule she doesn't think herself above, but Felix knows that's not entirely true. Her influence and the dragon may have set it free, but this desire to do something - dangerous, physical, and just for himself - has always been there. He's just kept it hidden for so long he's forgotten.

-

They are halfway through October, and whether Felix or Juniper is better with the dragon is hard to say. Most of their evenings in the forest find Juniper at the dragon's head, feeding it treats and keeping it calm, while Felix circles its body, inspecting it from every angle. It is Felix who determines the dragon's sex.

"Male," he announces on his first perambulation.

"Well then, good boy, Sparky!" crows Juniper, stroking the back of the dragon's scaly head.

"It's still Sparky, then?" he asks bemusedly making his way steadily back around to her.

"Sure. Sparky can be a girl's or a boy's name."

"It isn't a name at all," insists Felix doggedly, but her only response is a merry laugh.

Felix also has better luck examining the dragon's (he refuses to think of it, him, as Sparky) injured wing. With Juniper holding its head and speaking softly, all while plying it with rabbits which it consumes in ever-increasing amounts, Felix manages to crouch down beside the dragon and inspect its injury.

A long gash has torn through the bottom panel of its left wing. Each side of the now parted wing has begun to heal up on its own; ugly, uneven scars forming on the torn edges. Felix is no expert, but as far as he can tell, through the absence of any pus or smell of rot, the wound is not infected. Still, the dragon seems to find the area tender, jerking involuntarily whenever Felix strokes his fingers feather-light across the developing scars, and it has still made no effort to fly away.

Felix begins to use the time not spent with the dragon to bury himself in the library researching wound care, healing spells, anything he thinks will help him discover a way to fix his dragon's wing. So single-minded has Felix become, that Juniper finds herself confronting him about the state of his schoolwork one afternoon in the library. She announces her presence by slamming a large book down on the table beside him in the corner where he has sequestered himself, earning a scandalized shush from Madam Pince shelving books a few rows over.

Felix looks up, startled, forcing his mind out of the book he's skimming on the potential use of Reparo on organic matter (the outlook not promising) and trying to focus his vision on the girl in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" he hisses, though his voice is too hoarse from disuse for it to contain any real venom. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"It's dinner," Juniper says, holding up her pocket watch as evidence.

"Oh," is all Felix can manage. He's a little disconcerted by the time, not realizing he has been in the library for hours. He looks back down at his book, put out, as he always is, at being interrupted while intent on reading. "Why aren't you in the Great Hall then?"

"Chester Davies is looking for you. He cornered a couple of first-years outside the common room demanding to see you."

"What?" Felix jerks his head back up abruptly. "Why?"

"Apparently," explains Juniper perching herself on top of the table, her back to the bookshelf so she can look directly at him, "you've missed your last two transfiguration revision sessions with the other prefects? Davies was worried we had you tied up or something."

She delivers this last as a joke, but Felix misses the humour entirely.

"I've been researching alternative methods of repairing the wing."

Juniper glances down at the books Felix has spread across the table, then cranes her neck around to read from the pages open in front of him.

"Reparo? You can't use that on animals, can you? And even if you could, I doubt the two of us casting it together would be enough for it to work on a dragon. You said yourself, dragon hide-"

"Yes, and you said yourself it's juvenile and more susceptible to magic," Felix argues, his bad temper rising. "Besides, I'm mainly researching the theory. To see if the spell can be modified."

"Wow," Juniper says, eyes widening, "that's... an impressive undertaking." But she looks more concerned than impressed. "And is this in addition to your regular school work or in place of?"

"What?" Felix snaps, itching to return to his book.

"It's just that..." Juniper swings her legs back and forth underneath the table nervously, "Davies mentioned you hadn't turned in your last transfiguration assignment which is really unusual for you so I just wondered -"

"Are you really going to try to lecture me about focusing on my schoolwork?" Felix's voice is waspish.

"I'm not lecturing, I'm inquiring," she answers carefully.

"Well, thank you for your inquiry, but I'm managing my workload just fine," Felix counters, staring pointedly back at his book to indicate the end of the conversation.

"Really?" questions Juniper, undaunted. "Would you consider that I, or anyone else in Slytherin, was 'managing just fine' if we were skipping our actual assignments to pursue personal projects?"

In spite of himself, Felix lifts his head again to glower at her, "Isn't that all you ever do?"

"Of course not! " Juniper retorts, looking slightly hurt.

"In fact, doesn't this all sound a little familiar to you? Have I not had this exact conversation with you at least once every term since you got here?"

Juniper's face is turning pink and she can't meet his eyes, "Not exactly, you yell a lot more than I-"

"And has it ever had even the slightest effect on your behavior? Because as far as I can tell it's all been wasted breath." Felix delivers his tirade in a furious hiss, quiet enough to escape the notice of Madam Pince, but Juniper leans further away with each word as though he were screaming at her. "So, one might conclude it's just a bit hypocritical of you to berate me for missing a single assignment when I know for a fact Professor Snape has banned you from Hogsmeade until you've brought up your marks!"

Juniper's face has turned a bright Gryffindor red, and she drops her head quickly hiding behind her long hair.

Felix stops, breathing heavily. He feels angry and agitated, and has half a mind to go on raging at her a bit more just to alleviate some of his tension. Before he can decide what to say, however, Juniper jerks her head up to look directly at him. Her cheeks are still burning, but her eyes are very clear and her mouth is set in that determined line Felix knows too well.

"You're wrong, you know. What you say does affect me." Juniper's voice comes out rough with suppressed emotion. She stops and takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I know you dog me about schoolwork because...well...you care. About everyone in Slytherin. In your way," Juniper adds hastily at the scandalized look on Felix's face. "You do, you know you do. You wouldn't waste your breath on us like that if you didn't. And I know it might not always come across because, well, I can't just give up on searching for my brother. But you've always inspired me to do better, for myself and for Slytherin."

Juniper looks down at the table where her fingernails trace random patterns in the wood.

"You know," she continues, haltingly, "when I first came to school, I honestly didn't expect to make it through the year. I figured I'd be expelled or killed or something. But none of that mattered... because finding my brother was the only thing that mattered. And you...you played a big part in making me realize that, well... there are other things that are important too. And I need to try and balance them, and not focus on my search for Jacob to the detriment of everything else."

Juniper says this last bit very quickly and somehow too easily, as though it's a line she's memorised, repeated to herself over and over.

Felix's anger flags as he takes in this rather alarming confession. He doesn't know whether he feels more touched that she appreciates his nagging, or outraged at the insinuation that their situations are in anyway comparable. He isn't obsessing about the dragon the way she obsesses about her brother. He's merely focused; the same way he is on any assignment.

Felix's ability to dedicate all of his attention to the task at hand has always benefited him, allowed him to master spells twice as quickly as his peers. True, it is taking him longer than he expected in this instance. And, in order to put in the time necessary to succeed with the dragon, he has had to back-burner other things sometimes...the occasional study session, or homework assignment, or... History of Magic class...

Felix surveys the table in front of him as if seeing it for the first time. Precarious piles of books and scattered parchment notes litter his usually well organized work space. He notices his stomach rumbling and casts his mind back for the last time he's eaten a meal but can't remember. He's sure he must have had breakfast this morning...or dinner last night, at least? His head aches as well, just over his left eye.

Felix thinks back over his actions of the past few weeks and winces. Windsong is right. He's been as wrapped up in the dragon as she has been in finding her brother, and the thought makes him blanch. Caught up in his unexpected adventure, Felix has put out of his mind entirely the future waiting for him at the end of this year. The thought of all his responsibilities, duties, and expectations floods over him all at once, leaving him feeling slightly sick. How could he have risked his entire reputation for this?

"You might have a point," says Felix abruptly. He stands up and begins to gather his things.

Juniper slides off the table in alarm at Felix's sudden movement. His unexpected concession renders her momentarily speechless, a surprising state of affairs for her.

"Oh...um...really?" she manages.

"Yes." Felix glances at her, and it's the sly, superior expression his face is most accustomed to. "It's obvious we're not going to be able to fix this injury. All this," he nods at the books he's currently stacking up " it's just been a waste of time, really. And I do have other things that require my attention."

"That's not- I didn't mean- you don't have to-" Juniper stutters, apparently caught off guard by his rapid change in demeanor. Her voice trails away as she watches Felix's brisk movements.

Felix is determined not to look at her as he carefully places his notes, quill, and ink back into his bag. He wishes bitterly that she'd hidden all this better from him, that he had never seen a dragon, never discovered what it was like to do something dangerous and wild and free...it had been so much easier to live before he knew what he was living without.

Felix squeezes his eyes shut and runs a hand over his hair, smoothing it flat unconsciously. How can he go back to that - long nights spent reading and revising - when he knows there's a dragon out there, waiting for him? This was always temporary, he knows that; adventures don't last forever. But he isn't ready for it to be over...not yet...

Juniper's hand comes to rest on his forearm and Felix's eyes open automatically. Somehow, he sees her hand before he can feel it: long, delicate fingers, with short, slightly dirty nails. What look like slender pink burns peek around the sides of her fingers, and Felix wonders why they couldn't have been healed by magic. Neither of them move. Felix hears Juniper swallow hard before she speaks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that I thought you were doing the wrong thing. It's...really cool the way you care so much about helping Sparky."

She squeezes his arm, very lightly; the pressure encouraging rather than threatening.

"Maybe we can take some of these with us," Juniper inclines her head at the books, "you know, do some research while we're with him? I used to sit and study when I was helping Hagrid with the Thestral. Helped get him accustomed to company while I got a bit of work done as well. What do you think?"

Felix raises his eyes to find Juniper peering at him anxiously, and he feels a sudden shame at berating her so harshly.

She's just trying to help, he realises, it's what she does. Hagrid, himself, the dragon, her brother...she helps people, even when they don't want it, even when it's dangerous. And she's too young or too stubborn to think about the consequences to herself if she doesn't succeed. It's going to get her killed, thinks Felix. So really... really it's his duty to keep going with her, to keep her safe. Isn't it?

It's a weak excuse. But any excuse is all Felix needs right now. The thought that his adventure isn't over, that he will see the dragon again, settles the queasiness in his stomach.

Felix gives Juniper a small smile in an attempt to appease her. "That's not a bad idea, Windsong. Good time management. Here." He grabs the topmost book from a pile without looking at it and hands it to her.

Juniper takes the book cautiously, still looking uncertain, "So... we're okay?"

The smile reaches his eyes now. "Yes, Windsong, we're okay."

"Okay,” says Juniper, matching his smile with one slightly less enthusiastic than is her norm. "I'll see you tomorrow evening then."

She takes a step back.

"Tomorrow evening," Felix agrees with a nod.

Juniper turns, walking halfway down the aisle before doubling back and saying, "Oh, and do make sure and tell Davies you're alive before he and the other prefects mount a siege on the common room."

She flashes her signature lop-sided grin before hurrying away again.

-

"Can I ask you a question?" Juniper asks Felix the following evening. Their backs propped against the earthen wall of the ravine, they sit on a green and silver checked cloth Felix has conjured (to inexplicable giggles from Juniper) while she flips through the book from the library.

Felix watches Sparky trot away from them toward a sad little pool, hardly more than a deep puddle, at the other end of the valley. Seeing the dragon walk is something that has not yet ceased to give Felix a small thrill; the powerful muscles in its legs rippling as it moves so carefully and precisely, its wings stretched just enough to provide it a graceful balance. He can't imagine what it must be like to watch it fly.

Thus distracted, Felix answers "Yes," without thinking.

"What is it with you and dragons?"

Felix glances over to find Juniper staring at him, her head cocked to the side and propped up on one hand.

"What do you mean?" he replies, self-consciously. The way she stares at him reminds him of the way his mother looks at paintings in museums. Felix finds it discomfiting.

"You know what I mean." Juniper lifts her head off her hand. "You wouldn't be out here if Sparky were, say, an Abraxan, would you?"

It's a rhetorical question, and she doesn't wait for an answer. "When you agreed to let me sneak out of the common room that first night, I assumed you must have some secret motive, like wanting powdered dragon claw or something. But it was really just because you wanted to see a dragon, wasn't it?"

Felix doesn't respond to this, turning instead to watch Sparky drink from the little pool. It's strewn with leaves from the trees that overhang the sides of the ravine, and he notices the dragon makes a point of fastidiously avoiding them as it laps up water with its strangely narrow tongue.

"So..." Juniper persists, "What is it about dragons that makes you hang the rule book and skive off school work?"

Felix shrugs, studiously not looking at her. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" she repeats skeptically.

He sighs. "They're... interesting."

"Interesting?" Juniper repeats him again, and Felix makes an exasperated noise.

"What do you want me to say? There isn't any particular reason! I just-"

Sounds of splashing cause them both to glance over at Sparky. The dragon is now using a foreleg to smack the leaves floating in the pool. One soggy leaf catches on the dragon's claw, and it lifts it out of the water and shakes it vigorously.

Felix cannot stop himself. He smiles fondly at it and murmurs, "I've always liked dragons."

"Blimey," says Juniper, watching Felix again instead of Sparky. "This is you just liking something? I hate to imagine what you'd be like with something you actually love." She turns back to the book, shaking her head, a smile playing at her lips.

Felix tears his gaze from Sparky as the dragon trots back over to settle in the grass. Juniper returns to absently thumbing through pages , and Felix watches her debating whether or not to broach the subject he's burning to discuss. It's dangerous, he knows. It's a clear violation of their unspoken agreement to keep conversation about the dragon and not each other. But, Felix supposes, she's the one who made it personal first. He takes a deep breath.

"May I ask you a question?"

Juniper looks up from the book. " 'Course."

Felix takes the time to meet her eyes before saying, "Why is it so important to find out what happened to your brother?"

It's as though a light has turned off behind her eyes. Her face becomes entirely blank. She says nothing.

Felix is expecting this however, and presses on. He knows it's impertinent and not really any of his business. But after their confrontation in the library, he feels compelled to say what he's thinking.

"Look, by all accounts, Jacob was into everything he shouldn't have been: the cursed vaults, the dark arts. He was expelled for heaven's sake and you... you say you're looking for him, but you're really just following in his footsteps. And it's just made everything harder for you, hasn't it? Do you think that's what he would have wanted for you? To make his same mistakes? Rather than putting the past behind you and making a name for yourself? One that's about you and your talent and not about him?"

Juniper continues to stare at Felix, but now it's with something like pity.

"You don't have siblings, do you."

It's a statement, not a question.

"No," Felix confirms.

Juniper is quiet for a few more seconds.

"How about a best friend?"

Felix considers this. He thinks briefly of Evan, his closest cousin, who spent summer holidays with him teaching him rare curses and occasionally trying them out on him. He thinks of the other prefects that he spends time with during revision sessions and patrol duties. And of the Slytherin boys from his year, most of whom he talks to fairly regularly and some of whom can be counted on for a favor provided the cost to them isn't too high. But a best friend? Felix isn't even sure what that would entail.

"I don't...know," he finally says, hesitantly.

Juniper's smile is forced and somehow sad. "Then I don't know that I can explain."

She drops her gaze to where her fingers are absently drawing circles in the dirt beside the book.

Juniper's words rankle Felix. While he's used to accepting such pronouncements from his parents and professors, he has never taken well to being told he can't do something or know something by other students, especially ones younger than himself .

As if having "best friends" gives you access to some secret knowledge other people aren't qualified to understand, Felix thinks hotly.

"Try me," he challenges.

Juniper starts, clearly shocked at his combativeness. Her mouth opens and her eyes flash and Felix is sure she's about to snap something at him. But at the last second Juniper stops and sighs deeply, the fight gone out of her all in an instant. To Felix's surprise, she begins to speak.

"Jacob was my brother and my best friend." Juniper begins in a fast, flat sort of voice, as if she's reading from a book she's not particularly interested in. "Which is silly, he's ten years older than I am but..."

She pauses, eyes closed, collecting her thoughts. "My parents, they're older and they were always working, and they just didn't have time for a little kid. I had a house elf that took care of me and gave me lessons but I didn't really have any friends. We don't live near any other wizarding families and none of my parents' friends have children my age. So Jacob was really my only friend growing up."

Juniper can't help but smile as she speaks of her brother. "And he always treated me like I was his friend, not a kid sister. Over the holidays he spent nearly all his time with me, making up adventures for us to go on or just talking. Letting me ramble on about my life at home like I had anything worth saying." She rolls her eyes self-deprecatingly at this. "And he never made me feel stupid or like I was too young to have thoughts or feelings. And when he was at school he wrote to me, all the time, no matter how busy he was. He would tell me everything that happened to him, make me feel like...like he valued my opinion."

Juniper sighs again. "Of course, I know now it was mostly all lies, what he wrote. He never told me anything about cursed vaults or the dark arts or anything that would have got him expelled. I guess I didn't really know him at all."

She admits this last in a small voice and trails off, gazing at Sparky.

"But I do know," Juniper adds, looking back to Felix, her voice gathering strength again, "that if it were me that were lost, Jacob would never stop looking. Ever. No matter what it cost him."

Her eyes boring into his are as fierce as the dragon's and Felix is at a loss for what to say.

-

That night in bed, Felix mentally compiles a list of the people he's closest to, anyone that might be conceivably classified as a friend, and tries to decide if there's anyone he'd go to so much trouble to find if they went missing. No one name sticks out readily.

Felix considers his parents: his mother? Surely if his mother went missing he would look for her. No, he concludes, most likely his father would forbid him from taking any action, certainly any action that would harm the family's reputation. His father would look for her though, wouldn't he? Or hire someone to look for her? For some reason, the thought makes Felix uncomfortable.

Then he wonders if his parents would come looking for him if he disappeared.

Felix considers potential scenarios. Maybe if he were kidnapped or vanished without a trace one morning with no warning. They would certainly make an attempt to find him then; it would be a shame on the family not to. But... if he went poking around something he wasn't supposed to, was in trouble with the law, then finally disappeared in disgrace?

They would disavow me, Felix thinks brutally, strike me from the family tree, refuse to speak my name, pretend I never existed.

The knowledge leaves him cold, and Felix suddenly feels all alone in a castle of hundreds of students and teachers. None of them would miss him if he were to disappear, he realizes miserably, not really miss him. Not enough to find him. They would wonder about him for a little while, then forget him entirely.

Felix feels a sudden surge of jealousy toward Jacob Windsong. To have someone be so devoted to you they would stop at nothing, risk their whole life, future, reputation just for the slightest chance to have you back...

I want that, Felix admits to himself. But it's not a particularly comforting revelation, and he drifts off to sleep feeling lonely and morose.

-

Chapter 5 | Masterpost

[chiseler]

Lost in the Blues: The Search for Dyin’ Dog

In June of this year, an unidentified seller posted a Jewel Records promo single on eBay. The asking price was $20. The simple accompanying description read:

“DJ PROMO RECORD 45 rpm  70s blues/R&B . Condition is Used. Bought this puppy at an estate sale for the late, great Stan Lewis. The artist is Dyin' Dog; I never heard of him but it's a pretty good record. I picked up two of them and thought I'd see what it's worth. It's a hand cut acetate DJ promo so I figure it must be pretty rare. Date on the label is 1975.”

This was only the second time I had seen proof of the physical existence of a Dyin’ Dog recording. I immediately contacted the seller, who informed me the single was “Bury My Bone” b/w “River Runs Dry,” but he was unable to tell me anything more.

It’s not surprising the seller, or anyone else, doesn’t remember raucous Louisiana blues singer Dyin’ Dog, as he never officially released any records, and never performed in public.

My own search for Dyin’ Dog, whose real name, I’ve since learned, may or may not have been Alvin Snow, began back in 2008, after stumbling across another Jewel promo 45 at a record fair in Jersey City, NJ. Like the seller on eBay, I had never heard of Dyin’ Dog, but the fact I hadn’t heard of him piqued my interest, along with the fact it had been a Jewel release. The seller, who was from Arkansas and specialized in rare indie label blues and R&B singles from the Sixties and Seventies, could tell me nothing about the artist, and couldn’t even remember how he’d come across the promo in the first place.

I brought the record home and put it on the turntable. As rough and minimalist as the production was, I could tell immediately this was unlike any other standard blues being produced in the mid-Seventies, or any other time. In spite of the modern instrumentation, it was raw and primitive, the song structure more akin to the American proto blues coming out of the rural South  of the Twenties than the more urbane sounds coming out of the New Orleans or Chicago scenes in later decades.

Overpowering the band was Dyin’ Dog himself, a voice that shrieked and roared a howl of the most abject anguish from the lower depths of some personal hell we hope we never know. The Howlin’ Wolf influence was clear, but Dying Dog, whoever he was, had taken what Howlin’ Wolf wrought and dragged it with heavy iron chains into much darker, much more horrifying territory, some barren landscape where redemption is not possible.

After all my years of researching the mostly forgotten corners of blues history, how was it I never heard of him? I went to the bookshelf and pilled down all the standard reference works—Kunstler, of course,The Cambridge Guide to Blues and Gospel, Nothing But the Blues, several years worth of the journal American Music and a few others—but search as I might there was absolutely no mention anywhere of any performer who went under the name “Dyin’ Dog.” I did an Internet search, and not only were there no recordings posted anywhere, there was no mention of this character. Had I heard a ghost on that record? Maybe more likely a demon.

The next obvious step was to contact Stan Lewis.

In 1948, Lewis opened Stan’s Record Store in Shreveport, Louisiana. Within a few years the store had expanded into a minor regional chain, and by the end of the Fifties Stan’s Record Store, with it’s huge selection of titles across every popular genre you can imagine, had become the largest mail-order music shop in the American South.

Deciding to expand the operation, in 1964 Lewis founded Jewel Records (joined soon thereafter by the subsidiary labels Ronn and Paula). Lewis signed hundreds of acts—country, R&B, jazz, blues, gospel, rock’nroll, whatever sold—and his stable of artists included, among others, The Blind Boys of Alabama, Memphis slim and John Lee Hooker.

After a successful twenty-year run, Lewis was forced to declare bankruptcy in 1983. In the late Nineties all of Jewel’s master tapes were obtained by the online company eMusic, and at present the rights to the entire Jewel catalog are held by a New York-based holding company, Fuel 2000. Lewis himself passed away in July of 2018 at age 91, which explains the above-mentioned estate sale.

I had the opportunity to speak with Lewis two or three times in the Nineties while researching other Jewel acts. He’d always been friendly and willing to offer as much as he could, so I reached out again in 2009 to see what he could tell me about Dyin’ Dog.

When I’d spoken with him earlier, Lewis could not only share entertaining anecdotes about any act I was curious about, he could cite contract details and sales numbers from memory. But when I mentioned Dyin’ Dog he drew a complete blank. He had no memory of him whatsoever. I even played the single over the phone hoping that might spark something, some kind of memory, but while he admitted he was clearly impressed with the performance, the name rang no bells. He did, however, invite me to pore through the Jewel archives in Shreveport to see what I could find.

The voice I’d heard on that record, guttural, unearthly, scraped to the sinew, continued to haunt me. I couldn’t even tell if Dyin’ Dog was black or white. I had to find out who was behind that sound, and how he got there.

I was able to schedule a trip to Louisiana two months later, and after a week of digging through cardboard boxes overflowing with contracts, press releases and sales reports, I at last came across my first solid lead. In a brief series of correspondence dated early 1975, a young musician named Roland Sheehan sang the praises of a wild new blues singer he was working with. The description sounded decidedly like Dyin’ Dog, though the name Sheehan used was “Alvin Snow.” More exciting still, another note from Sheehan made reference to some demos recorded by Snow and a small band headed by Sheehan on keyboards. He mentioned a few titles—“The Dog’s Dream,” “Pass for White”—which made me even more excited. In his encouraging response, Lewis, who was clearly acquainted with Sheehan, tentatively agreed to put Jewel behind Snow, adding, “But need to do something about the name. And the cursing. He curses too much.”

That was it. There was no further correspondence, no evidence the records were ever released. No press releases, no sales reports, nothing at all. Just those tantalizing hints Dyin’ Dog/Alvin Snow was real.

The next step was to contact Sheehan. He was not hard to find. He was still alive and living in Ruston, Louisiana. With no important business pulling me back to New Jersey, I rented a car in Shreveport and drove seventy miles to the north, to a small town near the Louisiana Tech campus. It was a typically sultry Louisiana afternoon in late July when I knocked on Sheehan’s door. He invited me in and offered me a beer.

Unlike Lewis, Sheehan, a burly man of 58 at the time with the unmistakable accent of a native, could remember Snow well, and was eager to talk about him.

“”Yeah, Alvin and Dyin’ Dog were the same,” Sheehan confirmed. “But Dyin’ Dog came along later. Close to the end. That was Stan’s idea. He thought Alvin needed a bluesier name, so we were Dyin’ Dog and the Mongrels.”

He said he first encountered Snow on the street in Ruston around 1974. Sheehan was in his early twenties and had been playing keyboards for a local blues rock band called The Alliance. He recalls that when he first saw Snow, he mistook him for Johnny Winter.

“He was hard to miss,” Sheehan said. “Ruston’s an itty-bitty town, and you don’t see many albinos just walking down the street here.”

I nearly did a spit take. Dyin’ Dog was an albino?

“Yeah,” Sheehan nodded. “White hair, chalky white skin, everything. Except he had these real pale blue eyes, not pink.”

What really caught his attention, he said, was less Snow being an albino than the song he was singing.

“Just belting it out as he was walking down the street. Screaming it almost. But he was good, like nothing I’d heard.”

So Sheehan stopped him, and the two started talking about music.

“I never really learned that much about him. His personal life or past or anything. He told me once he was raised in an orphanage, but that was it. I think he may have mentioned that his mom was black and his dad was white, or maybe the other way around, I’m not sure. I do remember his birthday was January thirteenth. Always liked to say he was born on Friday the thirteenth. I think it was 1938 or ’39, but I could be wrong. He was living with this nice older lady who had some money. We all just knew her as Miss Lillian. She really loved him. And he had this little dog. Chester, after Chester Burnet. I think someone had abandoned it or something. Its back legs were crippled, so Alvin made it this little cart or chariot or whatever. A thing with wheels so it could pull itself around. Ugliest little thing you ever seen, but Alvin was crazy about it.”

The picture that was coming together of Dyin’ Dog/Alvin Snow in no way corresponded with the picture I’d imagined after hearing that single, but that shouldn’t have surprised me.

Snow, Sheehan said, had a headful of songs, but didn’t know how to read or write music and couldn’t play any instruments, so the two of them would get together and Snow would hum or sing and Sheehan would transcribe the music.

“It was really wild stuff, really not like anything else. And if you’ve heard his voice you know. I mean he worshipped Howlin’’ Wolf. Really almost literally worshipped the guy, but I think he was doing something different.”

Sheehan pulled together a small backup band and they began rehearsing.

“Everything was coming together. We recorded ten or twelve demos at little studios in Shreveport, places Stan liked to use. I had Stan interested. And then I set up this show. It was going to be kind of a showcase with Dyin’ Dog and The Mongrels opening for my band The Alliance. That was gonna be in January of ’76. The thirteenth, Alvin’s birthday. But then he vanished just a couple days before. No word, nothing. E just vanished.”

Sheehan says a number of things happened in the weeks before Snow disappeared. His beloved dog died in an accident. Then Miss Lillian, the older woman he was living with, passed away on January tenth, three days before his first live show. And though it may be nothing but a strange coincidence, Howlin’ Wolf/Chester Burnett died the same day as Miss Lillian.

“To Alvin, that must’ve been like hearing God Almighty himself had up and died,” Sheehan commented.

Sheehan never saw or heard from Snow again. He also claimed to have no knowledge of what became of the master tapes of those first and only demos.

The ten years following my research trip to Louisiana witnessed enough detours, dead ends, red herrings and smashed hopes to fill a very long and frustrating book. Even with what I presume was his real name and his date of birth, record searches yielded nothing. I can find no information at all about Snow dating either before or after his time in Ruston, ca. 1974-’75.  You would think there would be at least some mention somewhere of an albino named Alvin Snow, whether or not he was still singing, but it was like he had emerged from that barren landscape I heard on that first record, then returned there again.

But now with the emergence of a second promo recording, it’s clear the story isn’t over yet. Someday, I’m confident, we may know what he did those first three and a half decades before he materialized singing on a Louisiana street, and what became of him afterward. Or maybe he’ll join the enigmatic ranks of Emmet Miller and Henry Thomas, and these two remarkable singles will remain the only record we’ll ever have.

by Paul Lyllyde