#“But what if pregnant women feel fine and want to have sex with their husbands”

[fairymischief]

A few years back I saw a lingerie commercial that did the slow male-gaze shot of a woman starting from her high heels, up her legs, and continued until it revealed that she was a pretty and heavily pregnant woman in lingerie, greeting her man as he came home. This disturbed me so much on a visceral level and I've wondered why for years.

It's not that there's anything wrong with pregnancy per se (it's nothing I'd shame a woman for, even though in a perfect world I'd hope that no woman would put her body through that), and it's not as if I found her gross or "not allowed to be sexy" just because she was pregnant. Analyzing it now, I think it's because a woman is in such a vulnerable state during pregnancy and is likely pretty uncomfortable at that stage, if only from carrying that weight around - and here she's STILL expected to put on the sexy lingerie and the heels and the makeup and be a sex object to her husband, with her poor distended belly and whatever internal discomfort she may be feeling. It felt exploitative...why specifically sexualize women who are in such a delicate state?

That 9 months (and especially the 3rd trimester) should be the time when she's resting and being taken care of by that man, rather than going through all the trouble of shaving, painting her face, painstakingly getting into lingerie, and risking twisting her ankle while pregnant in those heels to rush to the door and see how she can serve HIM.

I think it pissed me off more than anything. Do women ever get a break from having to perform for males and trying to be sexually appealing? EVER?

I also believe that men who are really aroused by pregnant women are probably porn-sick and into the idea of dominating a woman who is in one of the most vulnerable positions possible. If you look at a woman who can barely walk at a normal pace because she's so heavily pregnant and rather than wanting to take care of her, your instinct is to do THAT, I think that's a sign of a lack of empathy and fetishizing pregnant women.

[lemonlover1110]

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

Toji Fushiguro

[Chapter 12] Unexpected

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

It’s very rare for you to go out nowadays, but occasionally you get a call and you can’t say no. This time around, you were rambling to make up an excuse but then you realized it was your friend’s birthday; and while you have the right to decline because you’re simply too overwhelmed with life, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. 

It feels odd to sit at a table full of women that you no longer talk to– Except your best friend, of course, but she’s occupied tonight. Everyone is trying to get her attention, ask her about her adorable new baby who rests at home. 

You feel out of place. You notice the stares that you’re getting, simply because of your bump. Toji is the father, clearly. They doubt you got pregnant by a one night stand or an affair, the only plausible answer would be your husband, or rather, ex-husband. 

You’re still grateful that nobody is really interrogating you about your situation. You’re either ignored or asked simple questions. The only question that was asked about your situation is about the sex of your baby, which you happily answered.

You’re happy to be ignored, though you feel that maybe you should’ve stayed home. It’s fine, at least the food is good. 

“I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be–” You begin to tell your best friend, Eri, but she cuts you off.

“I’ll go with you.” She says, and you two walk to the bathroom in silence. She doesn’t go into a stall, instead walking to the sink to powder her face. She hears you using the bathroom, and still raises her voice to speak, “How are you doing? You’ve been distant.”

“I’ve been… Better.” You tell her when you exit the stall. It’s no surprise to her. She’s been getting little information about your life, but she’s heard about the divorce and the pregnancy which isn’t exactly an ideal situation. “How about you? How’s the baby?”

“He’s a sleepy baby. He’s barely changed anything for me.” She says, and you smile. You can only hope that you’ll have the same fate. She doesn’t want to talk about herself though, that’s all that everyone talks about right now. She wants to hear about you. “I’m surprised you showed up.”

“It’s your birthday, I couldn’t miss it.” You answer. You’re drying your hands, ready to go back out but Eri is taking her time with her makeup. She’s not planning to go back out until she’s done talking with you. “It is kind of awkward though.”

“Yeah…” She agrees. She knows your friendship with them completely changed when your relationship with Toji hit a certain point– They just couldn’t stand him after Toji betrayed you; granted, it was shortly after the beginning of your relationship, it wasn’t a big deal to you. They just strayed away when you continued dating him. 

“All that and for what? We still got divorced.” You can’t help but chuckle, feeling tears build up. Your stupid hormones are getting the best of you. “He won’t fucking leave me alone either, he wants to get back together.”

“Can you make it clear that you’re not getting back together– Unless you do…” She says, and you take a deep breath. You feel like you’ve done everything you possibly can, and lately you’ve been getting soft for him again. You left Toji for good. 

“I just… Want him to stop. Get it through his head that we’re just co-parenting. I still care for Toji a lot but getting back with him will just make me miserable.” You answer, keeping any explanation to yourself. All that people need to know is that Toji wasn’t the best to you, any other explanation is unwarranted. “Ignore me. I’ll try to have a serious conversation with him soon.”

“You know you could always just give him a taste of his own medicine.” She suggests, and you raise your brows. What does she mean? She applies some lipstick, smacking her lips together before answering your question, “Technically it isn’t a taste of his own medicine since you aren’t together. It isn’t considered cheating.”

“Oh– I couldn’t do that to Toji.” You awkwardly laugh, and then you think about it for a moment. Do what to Toji? You left, you’re not together anymore. Toji shouldn’t care about your love life unless it concerns his unborn child. “Not like anyone would be too interested in me anyway.”

“Really? There was just someone staring you down. Why do you think I came with you?” She tells you, and you chuckle, knowing that she’s lying to make you feel better. She clicks her tongue, rolling her eyes, “I wasn’t joking.”

“Why would–” You begin, but before you can even ask the question, she leaves the bathroom. You sigh before following behind her. This time you’re looking around, wanting to see if any eyes fall on you as you exit the bathroom– And they do, they’re just not from the person that you want. 

She doesn’t remember Shiu, that’s why she thinks he was checking you out. 

“Hi.” Shiu approaches you outside of the restaurant while you wait for your ride home. He’s been clearly watching you, waiting for your dinner to be over so he can approach you afterward. Unluckily for him, you ignore him, and he sighs before offering, “How about I take you home?”

“Are you going to report it to Toji?” You sound annoyed, and Shiu can’t help but chuckle. He knows he deserves it. You bite down your lip before telling him, “Thank you for the gift for my daughter. It’s cute.”

“Anything for my niece.” He responds. He clears his throat before telling you again, “Let me take you home. I’m not telling Toji anything.”

“Why are you suddenly so nice?” You ask him since he has no reason to help you. Unless he’s lying to you, and he’ll run to tell Toji.

“We’re friends, are we not?” He replies, and you furrow your brows together. You’re not. He’s Toji’s friend and he’s just keeping an eye on you since Toji wants you back. Either way, you accept,

“Take me home then.”

The car ride back to your place is silent. Shiu is trying to make some conversation, and your answers are dry. It’s not that you don’t want to talk but you keep thinking about Eri’s words. To give Toji a taste of his own medicine and of the man that was checking you out. 

“Are you seeing anyone?” You speak up, which takes the man back. He definitely wasn’t expecting that from you, but it earns a laugh from him. If he didn’t know you better, he’d say you want to make a move on him.

“I have some friends… Nothing serious though. So no.” Shiu answers, which doesn’t shock you. You were thinking of something similar. Shiu is an attractive man in his late thirties, of course he isn’t alone. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wanted to know.” You respond, and he’s not convinced. He wonders if he should let it go and change the topic, or pressure you to give you an answer.

“Hmm… Right.” He’s clearly sarcastic, and he has a smirk on his face. You roll your eyes before a sigh leaves your lips. 

“I’m serious.” You claim. He certainly isn’t going to drop the subject now. He’s curious why you have a sudden curiosity about his love life.

“Then why are you suddenly interested in my love life?” He questions, and you chew on the inside of your cheek. You have no idea how you’re going to respond.

“My friend just… Said something and yeah.” You choose to tell him a partial truth, not everything, hoping that he’ll drop the subject. He’s Toji’s friend, of course he’s just like Toji. Stubborn.

“Something… Like?” He makes you take a deep breath. You’re getting embarrassed, but it’s too late to try to change the subject now.

“I told her that I want Toji to stop. I’m getting soft for him again and I know that it’ll end badly.” You confess, and Shiu takes a moment to think about it. What you said doesn’t answer anything, leaving him to wonder what your friend said.

“Oh, this something will end up screwing me over.” Is the only conclusion he can draw, and you can’t help but laugh before humming in agreement. Shiu lightly bites down his lip before saying, “I do owe you one.”

“This isn’t something you can help me with, I assure you.” You tell him, and he furrows his brows. He’s confused, wondering what it is. What’s something that he can’t possibly help you with that will upset Toji?

“What– Oh! Oh….” He comes to the realization of what it is, at least a vague idea of it. The mere thought makes his cheeks pink, completely flustered at the thought of being intimate with you. He briefly looks at you, and he can tell that you share those same feelings. 

He’s always viewed you as Toji’s wife. Sure, Toji’s very attractive wife, but still, Toji’s wife. Now you’re not just that, but the mother of Toji’s child. Before either of you can say anything else, he gets to your apartment complex. 

“Thank you for actually taking me home this time, Shiu.” You try to laugh it off since the car ride surely turned awkward. Shiu’s eyes focus on your rosy lips as you speak, before looking up at your eyes. He licks his lips as impure thoughts begin to fill up his mind– He’s thought similar stuff before but never while you were right next to him.

“Yeah, it was no problem.” He answers, and you begin to get out of the car. His voice stops you, and you feel a chill run down your spine when he says, “I can help you.”

“Huh?” You’re not sure if you’re listening right. Did Shiu really just say that?

“I can help you make sure that Toji stops.” Shiu confirms, and your eyes widen. Toji’s best friend just told you that he’d help you… Maybe Shiu isn’t getting what your friend said.

“You do know that what my friend was suggesting was me sleeping with someone else, right?” You want to make sure he isn’t thinking of something else, and it shocks you when he nods in response. You’re slowly blinking as you try to process the information. You’re staring at him, and he’s avoiding your gaze. 

You clear your throat before saying, “I appreciate the offer, Shiu, but…” 

But what? This is a great opportunity, also the fact that you find Shiu handsome is a bonus but you can’t do it to Toji. You still care for Toji and you can’t do this to him. Shiu is his best friend, you don’t want to harm their friendship.

“But we can’t do that to Toji.” Is what you tell him, and Shiu slightly nods. Because even when you aren’t together, you put Toji’s feelings above your own. You’re not planning to get back together, but you don’t plan on hurting him.

“Sorry–” He begins but his words come to a stop when you kiss his cheek. If his face was warm before, he’s certainly burning up now. 

“Thank you for the offer though, I’m flattered.”

[haveuevermetme]

i remember my whole life i was afraid of romantic and sexual relationships with men.

i was afraid to go on a date because so many people around me were telling me how it’s totally normal to have sex on the first date or, if you want to play hard to get, just kiss on the first date and have sex on the second. i didn’t want to have sex with a man i don’t know. i didn’t want to kiss a man i don’t know. there is no way in hell i could “know” a man after one date. i hated that.

i always thought i was supposed to have sex as an obligation in a relationship. i thought i was supposed to agree to sex even when i didn’t really want to but enough time has passed so now i have to. i thought i will have to suffer through rounds of persuasion for sex when i already had trouble resisting people asking me for something in general, and saying “no” to sex because i didn’t want to be a prude.

i thought i was supposed to suffer through the first time when “it will hurt a bit in the beginning but then it’ll be fine”. i thought about an orgasm, how hard it is for women to get it, how men don’t like when women don’t get it and how women pretend to orgasm not to hurt men’s feelings. i hated that too, i didn’t want to pretend but i also didn’t want it to be hard for me.

i never dreamt of children or wedding when i was a child. for me it was something that will happen but so far away from now it was not worth worrying over. but deep down i knew i was scared and the older i got, the more i was worried about it. i didn’t want to have children, i’m afraid of pregnancy. i’m a little claustrophobic, i’m afraid of being stuck in places where i have no choice of getting out. pregnancy is one of these things for me because if i want a child, i have to get pregnant, if i’m pregnant, i have to deliver the child. i have to suffer thorough pregnancy AND childbirth AND possible consequences of it for my body. you cannot say no to a child when you are 5 months pregnant, or 6, or 7, you just have no other choice but to go through with birthing the baby. it terrifies me.

i hated that i always got told that i can’t have too high standards to dating because there is no “perfect person” and i will have to lower my standards and put up with his face/body/character/interests. i didn’t want it, i didn’t think my standards were high, i thought they were fine. i didn’t want an anime guy because i know what kind of anime they’re watching, i didn’t want a gamer guy because i don’t want a man addicted to his computer. i didn’t want a man with too many guy friends i didn’t like because i had an opportunity to find out how they talk with each other about girls and their relationships. i didn’t want a smoker or an alcoholic, i didn’t want a wife beater, i didn’t want a guy who regularly ignored my wishes even when we were just friends. my standards were really low.

i hate all of that and what i hate most is the fact that i thought i had to go through all this. i didn’t have to. i don’t have to. i can say no, i may never have children or a husband and even though i know a lot of people will be mad about it and would think i am crazy or stupid or both, i still can say no. they can talk and curse me but they won’t be able to make me have children and husband. they will talk, but i will be free.

[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 7

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Monday Night Raw

Two hours earlier

Nobody’s POV

“What do you mean I’m suspended?!” Tia screamed as the COO of WWE Paul Levesque cleared his throat.

“I didn’t stutter Tia, you’re outta control. I have given you chance after chance. Last week you almost injured Bayley, you’ve been acting irrational lately and I just think you need some time off to regroup.” Paul said sternly as Tia seemed to be becoming unglued.

“You can’t take this away from me,” Tia pleaded as Tom walked and went to stand next to Paul.

“Tia, your actions have taken this opportunity away from you,” he said as Tia began looking around in a panic.

“This is a mistake,” she whispered feeling her dreams slipping away.

“Then what is this I hear you were harassing Jey tonight?”

“What! I ain’t harassed him. We know each other on a personal level. Did Jey tell you that because if he did, he’s lying!” Tia screamed as Paul shook his head.

“No, Jey didn’t tell me, Tom did. He saw the whole thing. Jey actually tried to play off the seriousness of it but I’m not. You need to get some help Tia,” he said sternly as Tia frowned at Tom.

“Why are you in my business Tom? Look, I don’t need no help, I’m fine.”

“Tia, even after Jey told you to stay away from him you purposely followed him. You just Ignited a confrontation with your sister as he once again tried to deescalate the situation.” Tom said as Tia scoffed at him.

“So, you kept instigating it?” Paul asked as Tia refused to answer.

“Yes, she did and all with a smile on her face.”

“Tom shut up!” Tia screamed as Paul stood up and adjusted his tie.

“Nobody that works here will be sexually harassed or harassed in general. We are up from under Vince’s thumb, and everyone will be treated equally and have a safe work environment,” Paul said as Tia was seething.

“I ain’t did nothing,” Tia protested.

“Sixty days Tia and you will be on the NXT brand when you return. I really hope you can turn this around because another incident and your gone.”

“You can’t do this to me,” Tia cried as Paul sighed, walking over to try to calm her down.

“Tia, use this time to get yourself together. Actions have consequences and I can’t put my talent at risk. This time of reflection will give you and Roman a chance to work out your custody issues as well,” Paul said trying to be sympathetic.

“Yes sir,” she whispered as Paul walked out leaving her alone in her thoughts.

“I’m losing everything…It’s all her fault,” Tia cried as running out of the room bypassing people in the hall, just wanting to get her stuff and leave. Her mother’s words haunting her.

“Tia you dead wrong for what you did and you’re going to reap most of all.”

As she reached the women’s locker room her phone beeped, it was her Where’s My iPhone app. It was alerting her to Roman’s location being close by and he had been there for about an hour.

One night after one of their rendezvous while Roman took a shower, Tia linked his phone to hers to share his location but had hers turned off so he didn’t know she was keeping up with his whereabouts.

“Oh, so have me served custody papers today, then hopped on your little jet trying to tell Ms. Perfect and win her back, huh,” Tia says talking to herself plugging in the address on her phone.

“You can’t get rid of me Roman…Never.”

----

Present Time

Kara’s Condo

Kara’s POV

“Tia, put the gun down,” I pleaded as Roman looked back at me once again, but I was focused on Tia.

“Sorry to interrupt your lover’s quarrel. Wow ten total years together, five of it marital bliss came down to this because of lil old me, huh,” Tia gloated picking up our divorce papers off the table.

“Tia-”

“Kara, it’s going to be ok,” Roman said as I tried not to let my fear show but this fool was in my house pointing a gun.

“Don’t look at her Roman!” Tia screamed as Roman looked back at her.

“Get outta her Kara,” Roman said as I ran back towards the kitchen .

“Get back here or I’ll shoot him.. Do you want to be the reason Logan has no father?” Tia hissed as I stilled in fear having almost made it to the kitchen entrance.

“She ain’t got nothing to do wit this Tia, we can just leave together,” Roman pleaded.

“It has everything to do with her. Turn around bitch!” she hissed as I gritted my teeth trying to hold my tongue as I slowly turned around putting my hands in the air.

“Come on what you tryin’ to do?” Roman asked as Tia chuckled.

“What I should have did years ago…Put her out of her misery..That’ll hit you and Jey right where you stand. Take away the person you both love, it would hurt you, wouldn’t it?" Tia asked, waving the gun at Roman.

“It would, but what about us..If you hurt Kara we can’t be together, tell her Kara,” Roman said as I tried to get my brain to catch up and play along.

“I’m not with Roman, it doesn’t have to go down like this. You have so much going for you,” I said trying to reason with her as she pointed the gun at me, her hand unsteady as I jumped back.

“Aye, take it easy, look me Tia,” Roman said as she seemed to becoming more unhinged by the second.

“Paul suspended me for improper conduct against your little boyfriend for sixty days! One of the higher ups saw it and told. I’m off the main roster, now I gotta to report to NXT after my suspension is over,” she said waving the gun at me.

“What does that have to do with me? You did what you did, Jey didn’t do anything to you.”

“Everything! It has everything to do with you!” Tia screamed as I flinched. “Then this motherfucker here is pining away for you and sending flowers and shit!" She screamed picking up the vase of flowers throwing it at the wall.”

“Tia, take that up with me. You really mad at me, not Kara,” Roman said as she pointed the gun back at him.

“Oh, I was coming around to you, having me SERVED with custody papers just before I leave for work! Really Roman, trying to sue me for sole custody of a child I already gave to you, just to not pay me what you owe me,” Tia said strangely calm, her hand no longer shaking as she held the gun on Roman.

“We can talk about it Tia, just let Kara go,” Roman said as she chuckled.

“Your precious Kara…Always in the way Kara! Hell, you owe me that 50 million I asked for! I gave you something she couldn’t, the baby you always wanted!” she cried pointing the gun back at me as Roman moved in way.

“Move Roman! Let me end this!” She yelled as he refused to move.

“You’re right, Tia, you gave me Logan, our beautiful baby girl and I’m thankful,” Roman said as she nodded, tears streaming down her face.

“I did, and you know I could have loved you better than her. I want to hear her say it because she knows its true!” she cried as Roman nodded.  

“She will,” he whispered as I felt sick to my stomach. Survival was the name of the game and we both had too much to live for.

“Your right, you could have loved him better. You got pregnant and wanted to be a family with Roman, but I was in the way,” I cried as Roman looked back at me as we silently communicated with each other.

 “My own kid hates me; I feel nothing for her!” Tia cried as I took as Roman took a step closer. “Tia, you still got time to bond with her, I can help you,” he pleaded as she seemed to be letting down her defense.

“Kara, your life should have been mine. I was even willing to settle for Jey, but you just had to find out about Roman and me. Then you made Jey leave me….I ain’t got nobody,” she whimpered as a strangled sob escaped her lips.

“Tia, Kara left so we could be together, stuff just didn’t work out,” Roman whispered as she pointed the gun at his head as I screamed.

“Tia, no!!”

“You didn’t give us a chance because you wanted her, Roman! You wanted her!..... Jey wanted her!” She screamed as we stood in scared silence unsure as to what Tia was going to do next. That was until I saw out the corner of my eye the front door opening.

“Kara, I got your food, twins ran up the street to the store for your ginger ale, and some snacks,” Trin said walking in the door on her phone oblivious as to what was going on as Tia turned the gun on her.

“Trin Run!!” I yelled as Roman, and I tried to get the gun from her as  Trin panicked, quickly running back out the door, dropping everything she had in her hands.

“Help! Help us! She has a gun!” I heard her scream as we continued to tussle over the gun.

“Run Kara!” Roman yelled as I ran towards the kitchen to the back door my heart racing as I heard a shot, then silence.

As I opened the door, I heard another shot and instant pain shot through chest as I collapsed to the floor writhing in pain, gasping for air.

It hurt so bad I couldn’t catch my breath, hearing footsteps I tried to pull myself through the open back door but couldn’t move, I was in too much pain.

“Damn, you can’t even die right, can you?” I faintly heard Tia whisper as she turned me over. Her smile chilling me to the core as I silently cried in pain.

“I want to be the last thing you see,” she taunted as I coughed trying to take a deep breath, the pain unimaginable, rendering me speechless. I tried to lift up my head to look in the living room, but I couldn’t.

“Oh, you lookin’ for Roman, huh…..He’s ok, when we fell he hit his head on the end of the table and the gun went off,” She said as I groaned in pain.

“I should have shot him though, all he had to do was love me. You caused this!” she screamed sitting on my chest as I tried to push her off.

“T- T-Tia,” I gasped as she turned my head mushing it against the floor as I cried in relief seeing the knife I had earlier on the floor.

Using the last of my strength, push her off of me, crawling to the knife and laying on it, praying she hadn’t seen it.

“Now is that anyway to treat your sister? You’re supposed to be your sister’s keeper, remember Kara? Remember how we use to say that when we were kids?” she asked kneeling beside me caressing my hair as groaned in agonizing pain.

T-Tia I groaned as she shushed me.

“We even started back saying it to each other when you found out I was pregnant with Logan. Remember how close we had got,” she said as I struggled to breathe through the pain as she grabbed my face, making me look at her. “Do you?!” She shouted.

“Yes,” I finally whispered as she smiled. “Well, now I want you to tell me again. Are you still your sister’s keeper Kara?” Tia asked as I cried out in pain as she pushed down on my back.

“I asked you a question! Are you still your sister’s keeper?!” Tia screamed, turning me over as I held a firm grip on the knife.

Before she could comprehend what was happening, I reached up and stabbed her in the stomach with what little strength I had left.

“Kara,” Tia gasped in disbelief holding the knife lodged in her stomach, looking down at the blood seeping through her shirt and then back at me.

“I’m not… My sister’s….. Keeper,” I whimpered as she smiled pulling the knife out of her stomach and dropping it on the floor beside us gasping in pain.

 “Neither…. Am I,” she groaned, collapsing beside me as I finally gave in welcoming the darkness as I faintly heard Tia moaning beside me in pain.

----

Jey’s POV

“We got to hurry up I got a bad feeling Uce. Kara an Trin ain’t answering their phones,” I said we headed back in the swank gated community. As soon as we pulled in I heard sirens and saw an ambulance. Quickly, I pulled over as they flew past us.

“You right, something wrong, follow them,” Jimmy said as I tried to catch up to the ambulance. My heart dropping to my stomach as we turned down Kara’s street and saw the EMTs rushing inside her house.

“Aye, that’s Trin,” Jimmy said as I sped up seeing she was talking to a cop and was hysterical.

As I slammed on breaks behind the Ambulance, Jimmy hopped out of car running to Trin as I put the car in park.

“Trin what happened?” Jimmy asked as she ran into his arms.

“Tia had a gun! She almost shot me; I heard two shots! She killed Kara and Roman! They saved me and she killed them!” Trin cried hysterically as Jimmy took her in his arms trying to calm her down as I ran past them going inside.

“You can’t go in there the cop!” yelled as I ignored him. Nothing was going to stop me from getting to Kara.  In the living room, I saw one of the parametics working on Roman.

He was sitting on the floor as the paramedic tried to stop the bleeding from his head. Wait where did the other one go? Where’s Kara?

“John! I need some help in here! Dispatch, I got a female with a gunshot wound to the chest, the bullet seems to have gone straight through and another female with a stab wound to the abdomen. My gunshot victim isn’t breathing! We need more units and police backup!” he yelled.

“It’s not Kara…. It’s not Kara,” I whispered over and over slowly waking, past Roman not even caring what he was trying to tell me.

As I walked into the kitchen the air left my body as my worst fear had been confirmed seeing the paramedic performing CPR on Kara’s lifeless body.

“Kara,” I said in shock, walking closer to be sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me.

“Baby,” I whispered kneeling beside her as the other paramedic that was working on Roman, rushed in and began working on Tia.

I glanced at her as she smiled grunting in pain.

“She’s dead Jey,” she rasped as I looked back at Kara in disbelief.

“Look, if you going to be in here, I need your help,” the paramedic said as I nodded. “W-whatever you need,” I said has he guided my hand to Kara’s chest. “She’s losing a lot of blood I need to you apply pressure here with this towel,” he said as I followed his directions.

“What’s her name?” he asked as I tried to wrap my head around the fact Tia shot Kara, I almost didn’t hear him.

“Kara..Her names Kara ,please help her,” I whispered as he stopped compressions.

“Come on Kara, I need you to breathe for me, ok?” he encouraged tilting her head back and blowing air into her mouth.

“Please breathe baby, we just getting started now. Come on breath Kara,” I cried not knowing if I was coming or going as I faintly heard the other paramedic talking to Tia.

“She’s dead right?” Tia gasped as I growled in frustration and anger.

“She ain’t dead! But you keep talkin’, you will be!” I hissed as she finally stopped talking. A few seconds later I heard the wheels on the gurney leaving the room.

“Yes, get her the fuck outta her before I kill her myself.”

“Kara breath,” I heard Roman whisper as I refused to look at him, focusing on Kara.

This ain’t it, I refuse to believe that. She’s gon’ be ok….

“Kara, come on breathe, we gotta a date remember. I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go baby, just breath,” I sniffed refusing to wipe my own tears knowing I would have to stop putting pressure on her wound.

I panicked even more as I the paramedic pulled out an AED machine and  began putting patches on Kara.

“When I say clear I need you to move, I’m going to try to jumpstart her heart…. 1, 2,3, Clear!” he shouted as I moved my hand and Kara’s chest lifted up in the air before becoming still again.

It was like I was watching myself outside my body as he began to count down again.

“Clear!” He shouted once again trying to shock Kara heart into rhythm but this time as I placed my hand back on her chest, I felt it rise and fall under my hand.

“I got her back! He yelled as released the breath I was holding leaning down kissing Kara on the temple

“Kara, its Josh…I love you so much…You hear me I’m here and I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” I reassured her before the other unit of paramedics came rushing in.

 I moved out of the way to let them work. but still stood where I could see her. Everything was moving so fast after that point as I watched them get her stabilized and on the gurney.

“Dispatch, Let the hospital know we’re on the way, we need all hands-on deck. We should be your way in about seven minutes.”

“Calling now unit 7, have a safe ride.”

“I’m coming wit her,” I said as the paramedic nodded in understanding as we made our way through the living room.

“Jey, is she ok?” Roman asked as I looked at him like he was stupid as another a paramedic was helping him on a gurney.

“What do you think?! That crazy bitch shot her in the chest, and it’s all your fault because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants,” I said not sparing him a glance following the Paramedics out with Kara.

“Jey, I’m sorry!” Roman yelled as I tuned him out.

All that mattered right now was Kara…I couldn’t lose her..Not now.

“Oh, my God Kara!” Trin screamed running over as they loaded Kara in the ambulance. “Take the car I left the keys in it,” I said watching them secure Kara in the back of the ambulance

“We right behind ya’ll Uce,” Jimmy said as I nodded hoping in the back of the ambulance holding Kara’s hand. “Aye, it’s me don’t check out on me yet, you hear me,” I whispered kissing her gently on the forehead as the paramedics continued to work.

The sirens wailing as we sped through traffic has me on edge. She had to be ok.. Looking out the back window I saw Jimmy speeding to keep up with us. Is all this really happening?

“You’re going to see a doctor and some nurses. They are going to take her straight to the OR and you won’t be able to go back with her but they will put you in a room in the ER until we know if she’s going to a regular room or ICU.”

“A’ight, they bout to take you for a minute Kara, but I’mma be right there when they bring you back to your room,” I reassured her as I felt her squeeze my hand as I cried in relief.

“Yea, let me know you hear me beautiful. I love you so much.”

Once we pulled up to the hospital everything moved so fast as the nurses and doctors met us at the ambulance. I felt helpless as they took Kara and rushed inside.

One of the nurses was nice enough to walk me to a room. I looked down at my white shirt and my hands stained with Kara’s blood and felt myself losing it. Going in the bathroom to the sink I  scrubbed my hands.

The sight of her blood washing down the drain is something I will never forget.

“Jey,are you in here. we’re here,” Trin said as I came out the bathroom and sat down as she Kneeled in front of me. It seemed like everything was catching up to me.

“She died on me, Trin,” I whispered as Trin looked at me in shock.

“What?”

“At the house… Her heart stopped.”

“Jey,” Trin whispered pulling me in her arms as I growled in frustration.  “Tia was laughin' sayin' she was dead,Trin” I whispered still in disbelief as Jimmy sat beside me and wrapped his arm around us both.

“But they got her back, we gotta focus on that,” he said as I looked up and Roman being wheeled into the room across the hall.

“Kara is fighting for her life and this motherfucker just got a bloody head. Now, I gotta call Kara’s mom-”

“They sent a unit to notify them, her parents know and are on the way.” Jimmy said as Trin wiped my tears.

“I’ll go see if there’s any updates,” Trin said as I nodded, letting her go as she got up and left.

“She says Roman and Kara saved her life,” Jimmy said as I nodded watching her go into Roman’s room.

“I know, I just can’t right think about all that right now.”

“We ain’t gotta say nothin’ Uce, just let me us be here for you,” Jimmy said as we sat in silence waiting for word on Kara.

---

Roman’s POV

“Mr. Reigns we want to keep you a couple days for observation, you have a concussion and I’m going to go put in the orders for a local you’re going to need stitches.”

“What about my wife Kara, she was brought in along with her sister.”

“Mr. reigns your wife is in surgery, and they are doing everything they can.”

“Ex wife-” Trin corrected as I sighed laying back on the bed.

“Trin, I know that…. Look are you ok? I asked as she nodded her head as the nurse left us alone.

“Yea, I’m ok..I just wanted to make sure you are ok and to tell you thank you. You and Kara saved my life.”

“You’re my family Trin, you know I love you.”

“I love you too. I called your mom, and she should be calling you in a bit. I had to calm her down, she was under the impression you went out to maybe clear your head after receiving the divorce papers but you all the way out here in Boston..Why?” she asked as I sighed.

“Trin it’s like I’m losing my mind, I saw Kara on Jey’s Instagram live and just went nuts. Next thing I know, I’m on my jet here trying to find out if they are in a relationship or not. The longer I looked around the house-”

“Looked around the house? I highly doub-” She started the words dying on her lips as she saw me drop my head in shame.

“Trin-”

“You were in the house when she got there!” Trin yelled as I rubbed my temples, knowing how bad it sounded.

“Trin, I was just going to talk to her, then I saw Jey’s shit in her room-”

“Roman, don’t even talk no more you pissin’ me off because you had no right doin’ no shit like that. Have you lost your fuckin’ mind?” Trin asked looking at me in pure disappointment.

“I know it’s insane Trin, but I just love her. We argued, she told me to leave and as I went to open the door there’s Tia standing there with a gun.”

“How the fuck did she know where Kara lived, did you tell her? Did you set this shit up so you could get custody of logan?” Trin asked firing off questions that really hurt me that she would think I would do something like that to Kara.

“No! She had my location; some shit she did to my phone apparently when I wasn’t around. She’s lost her mind Trin,” I said still not truly believing what had happened tonight.

“And so have you breaking into people’s homes and waiting for them in their bedroom,” she countered with her arms crossed as I sighed, knowing she was right.

“You right, I had lost my mind, but I damn sure found it when I opened that door and saw Tia with that gun.”

“Roman do you love Kara?” Trin asked as I felt offended by the question. Did she not see me earlier staring down the barrel of a gun to protect Kara?

“What kind of question is that. I would die for Kara, of course I love her. I just jumped at a gun to protect you because I love you too, I love all ya’ll,” I said as Trin nodded, seemingly in deep.

“We love you too, in spite of everything you’re going to always be family but in order for us all to begin healing… Like really heal…..You gotta make it right, and let it go Roman,” Trin pleaded as I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.

“I know,” I whispered overwhelmed because I knew she wasn’t saying it to hurt me, it was coming from a place of love.

I didn’t think I had that anymore from her or anyone in my family besides my mom, but guess I was wrong.

“If you love her…..Like truly love Kara like you say you do. Prove it… Let her go and let her be happy, so we can all move past this and try to be some kind of a family again,” Trin cried walking out of the room without another word.

I needed to let go but I don’t know how….But Trin was right, if I loved her, I needed to prove it.

“God, if you bring Kara through this…..I’ll do right…I’ll make it right, I swear,” I silently prayed as I felt the world on my shoulder because deep down I knew Jey was right.

I set this all in motion…Everything that happened was my fault.

----

Trin’s POV

Talking to Roman sucked the life out of me but I knew after what Jey had said earlier, I knew I needed to see one other person to see.

 “Excuse me, is Tia Morris able to have visitors I’m her cousin,” I said as the nurse smiled. “Uh, for the moment, but the police are on the way to question her. I can let you see her though, she’s in room 11,” she said leading me to the dim light room.  I frowned quickly seeing Tia sleeping but played it off by smiling at the nurse as I saw her head over to wake up Tia.

“Oh, I’m just going to sit with her. You don’t have to wake her up. I know the cops are going to keep her busy with their questions,” I said as the nurse patted me on the shoulder. “Ok, I’ll leave you to it sweetie,” she whispered walking out and closing the door.

Walking over to the door behind her, I closed the curtain before slowly walking over to her bed as Tia slept.

This bitch in her sleeping peacefully and Kara’s in surgery fighting for her life.

Reaching above her head I got a pillow. Now I wasn’t gonna kill her, but she damn sure was going to feel the struggle to breathe like Kara did.

“Tia,” I whispered, as she moaned turning her head as I pushed the pillow over her face as she tried to push away.

 Hearing the machine beeping fast, I pulled the pillow away as she gasped for air, the machine’s beeping returning to normal.

“What are you doing?” Tia coughed as I put the pillow over her face again as she helplessly tried to push against the pillow again, this time I released the pillow before the machine started beeping faster.

“You’re crazy,” Tia cried as I looked at her with disgust.

“I’m glad you realize that…..But I ain’t gon’ kill you…I just want you to feel how Kara felt as she laid lifeless on the ground beside you while you laughed,” I said remember Jey’s words, which made me even more angry.

Hysterical Trin was long gone now.

Grabbing her by the throat, I got in her face to make sure she heard me loud and clear.

“If you come near Kara, Jey, Jimmy, Logan or Roman again I will kill you. See you batshit crazy but you ain’t met real crazy yet, and I promise this ain’t what you want. I don’t take kindly when people fuck with my family,” I said calmly as Tia moaned in pain.

“Kara’s not your family,” she gasped as I slapped her before I could stop myself. I wanted to beat her ass, but I knew I couldn’t leave marks to give away what I had been doing in here.

Pushing her head against the pillow, I leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“You ain’t got a sister no more…She’s my sister, always have been. You don’t deserve her love or loyalty, or to even be in her presence,” I hissed as she groaned in pain as I pushed down on her stomach slightly, knowing it was causing her unimaginable pain.

“Trin, please.” Taa cried as I ignored her pleas.

“Trin please what? You want me to show you mercy? Did you show Kara mercy when you shot her, huh?” I whispered as she cried.

-----

Jey’s POV

“Uce, something ain’t right,” Jimmy said as I nodded in agreement.

“Yea, Trin been gone a minute.”

“I know she ducked out to see Roman, she had promised auntie she would look out for him, and for her just take care of Logan.”

“Let’s go see if she’s still across the way.” As we walked in and saw the room empty. We went to the nurse’s station.

“Excuse us, our cousin was in the room over there and he’s not there, is he ok?” Jimmy asked as the nurse smiled.

“Oh, he’s been transferred upstairs to a room, they are keeping him a few days,” she said as it dawned on me.

“Fuck,” I whispered as Jimmy looked at me.

“What?”

“Tia,” I whispered as Jimmy’s eyes bout popped out of his head in realization.

“Um, have you seen this woman,” I asked as Jimmy’s phone showed the nurse his screen saver.

“Sure, a real sweetie, said she wanted to see her cousin. I took her to room 11.”

“Um, thank you, we’ll just drop in for a second to see her too,” I said as Jimmy, and I tried to play it cool leaving the nurses station, but as soon as we hit the corner, we took off running towards Tia’s room.

Seeing the curtain closed, we rushed in and there was Trin sitting on the edge of the bed whispering something to Tia as she quietly sobbed.

“Trin let’s go baby, we been looking for you,” Jimmy said as Trin got up off the bed.

“They going to put you under the jail and if they don’t and you fake your way outta this….Just remember what I said Tia, and just know I don’t miss,” Trin said before walking past Jimmy and me.

“None of us were never here,” I said, as Tia nodded, wiping her tears as Jimmy and I left. As we rounded the hall, I saw two cops heading towards Tia’s room.

“Good, put her ass in jail,” I muttered going back into the room with Jimmy and Trin to wait to hear about Kara.

----

Five Hours Later

Jey’s POV

Trin and Jimmy had fallen asleep on the couch, but I still was wide awake. I couldn’t sleep until I knew how Kara was doing, the little updates from the nurses weren’t easing my fears at all.

 Deciding to stretch my feet I walked into the hallway and was met by the doctor.

“Mr. Fatu we just got done about thirty minutes ago,” he said as I took in his appearance, he seemed worried. “Hey, how is she?” I asked almost afraid of the answer.

“She made it through surgery, but the next 72 hours are critical. We were able to stop the bleeding and get the rest of the bullet fragments out.”

“Thank God.”

“She’s a fighter, it was touch and go for a while but she made it through,” he said with a tired smile.

“Thank you so much for everything…..When can I see her?”

“You can see her now; they just took her to ICU. She’s very lucky, half an inch to the right it would have been fatal,” he said as I felt the tears coming. I could have lost her…

“Uh, let me get up my family so we can head dat way,” I whispered walking back to the room to wake up Jimmy and Trin.

The long walk and elevator ride quiet, as we made our way up to ICU floor. As we waited for them to buzz us in Trin reached over and gave me a hug.

“You go in first Jey… Just tell her we love her,” Trin said as I sighed truly thankful for her.

She acted fast, called 911 and got Kara help.

“I will sis, and thank you,” I whispered as she nodded. “No, tell Kara thank you for saving my life,” she whimpered as I rubbed her back.

“I’m going to let you tell her for yourself,” I said as she smiled at me wiping her tears before going to sit with Jimmy.

Walking through the hall I felt anxious I needed to see her. The first room I saw had a cop sitting on the outside of it with the door open.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I looked over and there was Tia asleep handcuffed to a bed.

“Kara’s room is over here, Mr. Fatu,” the doctor said beckoning me further down the hall.

I hated she had to be on the same floor as Tia but at least it was some space between them, but I didn’t want to take that chance.

“Doc, I know she’s not stable but after her parents get here and she becomes stable can she be transferred out to another hospital. The person that attacked her is in here and I don’t feel comfortable.”

“I’m one step ahead of you. Her sister will be transferred when she is stable enough. Until then she will have an officer on her at all times and will be handcuffed to the bed,” he said still not putting me at ease.

I didn’t want Kara anywhere near that crazy nut.

Walking in her room I wasn’t prepared to see her lying in that bed looking so helpless. I went to sit by her trying to be mindful of the wires taking her hand in mine.

“I’m back beautiful, just like I promised. Now about this date, where you wanna go,” I whispered kissing her hand praying she would open her eyes and talk to me.

No response, sighing I reached over and kissed her temple. “That’s ok we can talk later, just rest,” I whispered sitting back down in my chair laying my head on the bed just looking at her.  watching the rise and fall of her chest, just thankful she had made it through the surgery. A sudden moan from Kara almost startled me.

“Kara, you ok baby?” I asked as she whispered something, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying as she eyes fluttered open, then closed back again.

“Balcony picnic date,” she whispered a little louder as I laughed.

“Kara, of all the places I can take you and you want to have a picnic on my balcony in Pensacola.”

“Yes, that’s what I want,” she whispered opening her eyes to look at me as I kissed her hand.

“You can have anything you want loʻu loto,” I said as she gave me tired smiled, still having a hard time trying to keep her eyes open.

“Get some rest, I ain’t going nowhere, we can talk when you get up.”

“I have to tell you something first,” she said as I pulled the covers up a little trying to help her get as comfortable as she could considering the hell she had just been through.

“Ok….What you gotta tell me that can’t wait beautiful?” I asked sitting back in my chair just happy she was awake and was talking to me.

“I love too, Josh,” she whispered before closing her eyes and drifting off back to sleep as I finally allowed the tears to pour from my eyes.

“I love you more.”

Taglist:

@reci24 @southerngirl41 @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl

@melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo

@arination99 @2-muchsauce @bakugoumarianawrites

@empressdede @alyyaanna @christinabae @anonandwannakeepitthatway @venusesworld @jeyusosgirl  @theninthwonder @mya2real  @justazzi @whatdoeseverybodywant @reignsboy19 wooahmiri alichesmi pytbgeezy @ superpietom  @harmshake

@truefant4sy @yana3sworld amandairene88 unapologeticqueen94 empressdede xbriexx

tshepisho thatgirlest98 zdotspinalot mainthingdoja jimingotthajams rose-bliss mrswolffs-blog maeb99 jstarr86 sayyestoheav3nn digidestned  heathetherlamont30 trashbin-nie rebelrel0987

kriissy4gov brokenglassslippers headoftheetable severenswife sayyestoheav3nn

pittieprincess22 mindairy jaded-human mainthingdoja mrswolffs-blog

[uzuikyo]

take me by the hand

inspired by this tiktok video that shattered my fucking heart </3 i couldn't stop crying after seeing that video send a therapist

pairing/s : akaza x fem!reader

genre : angst, fluff, smut maybe

warning/s : major character death, mentions of infertility, pregnancy, fingering, shower sex, pregnant sex, childbirth (normal & c-section), stillbirth (the baby suffocated from the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck), self-harm, suicide, everything’s just mostly sad and depressing, ): poor akaza, (pls forgive me if some of my medical knowledge or writing are inaccurate), also it was 2am when i wrote this so if there are some grammar or spelling mistakez, i apologize >.<

wc : 3.3k

ON REPEAT 🔂

🎧 understand x pluto projector (keshi, rex orange county)

“congratulations! we’re all sooo happy for the both of you!” your best friend, mitsuri, had tears forming in her eyes as she gently pulled you in a hug to not squeeze you and the life growing inside of you. you hugged her back, thanking her as you tried calming her down.

you accepted her gift after pulling away from each other, placing it on the table just for all the presents and gifts. you were feeling kind of overwhelmed as you did not expect this many of them.

your husband saw you and felt your anxiousness. “darling,” you hummed, looking at him. “you okay?” akaza had that soft look in his eyes like he always did ever since you two got together. you nod, “just a little overwhelmed is all. i didn’t know it was going to be such a big deal or something.” you chuckled and akaza let out a small smile, placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbed soothing circles on it.

“everything’s going to be fine. i’m going to be beside you. always. i know my soon to be princess needs her mommy and daddy.” he placed a hand on your round belly and kissed your forehead before both of you went on with the celebration.

all of your friends and family attended the baby shower and all of them were very happy for the both of you to be finally having a child of your own after years of babysitting and stealing your sister’s and mitsuri’s kids and after years of trying for one yourselves.

you and akaza always took it slow and patiently ever since your obgyn informed you about having a low percentage of conceiving a child. this, however, did not stop your lovely husband from adoring you and even told you that it doesn’t matter if you were able to give him one. kids or not, he still loved you no matter what and that was enough to make you feel better.

although you do admit that other women who were able to conceive in just a few tries made you feel insecure and jealous. it made you question yours and your husband’s relationship, but akaza always knew how to reassure you and make your mind be at ease. and you loved him even more for that.

you couldn’t ask for a better husband than akaza.

“akaza!” you giddily shouted from the bathroom and your husband was in your sight in a second. “well?” you showed him the result of all the the pregnancy tests. it all read ‘positive’.

“all three of them.” you said, tears forming in your eyes. “akaza…” a sob escaped from your mouth when he picked you up and spun you around. “we’re having a baby!” his blue eyes were filled with excitement and love as he looked at your tear-stained face. “i love you so much, darling.”

akaza put you down and kissed you like the world was ending. you pulled away, resting your forehead on his but you couldn’t stare at him for too long so you buried your face in his chest, uncontrollably sobbing. “thank you for being patient with me-“

“hey, i don’t wanna hear it. i told you, didn’t i? i don’t care as long as i have you with me.” akaza mumbled in your hair, caressing your back. “but right now we have received what we’ve been wanting for a long time. and i thank the gods for that.”

akaza was there with you for every check ups and ultrasound. you remember how smiley he was when he got the very first ultrasound pictures of your baby from the doctor. his smile got wider when the doctor added how healthy your baby was in that moment that you felt like his mouth would tore apart.

first trimester

“babe.”

akaza groaned from the light taps on his shoulder. slowly opening his eyes, he looked at the clock which read 2:48am. “you need anything, darling? is something hurting or bothering you?” his raspy voice indicates how he’s trying to stay awake.

akaza fully opened his eyes and immediately got up when he saw the tears im your eyes. “i’m craving some mangoes. and pickles.” your reply made him think about whether to laugh or curse at himself, but he eventually pulled you closer to him, trying to soothe you by caressing your hair.

“shh, it’s okay. i got you, baby. you’re not bothering me. i told you i would be right beside you, right?”

every midnight and 3am cravings were fully satisfied with a sleepless and tired akaza in the morning. everytime he would get up to buy or prepare your pregnancy cravings, he would make sure you eat well and go back to sleep which leads to him not being able to go back to sleep. although sometimes he does try, cuddling in bed with you and just waiting until he falls back asleep— which sometimes works.

akaza also dealt with your crazy mood swings during the first trimester.

how you would cry over as simple as not being able to fit in your old jeans anymore, or because the whole tub of ice cream that only you ate ran out. or it may also because of a character that died in a movie or series you’re watching.

how you would snap at him over the littlest things. like not holding your hands, or not giving his attention to you immediately, or not being able to answer your calls within the first ring.

and how you would laugh at literally everything. from rengoku saying his famous “umai!” everytime he eats, to mitsuri’s kids running around and trying not to fall face flat on the ground. also, how you laugh at every serious conversations and scenarios you’re in.

lastly, akaza was the most careful as if he was the one pregnant. he did not let you do any straining activities— even exercising or walking around too much! because he knew that this part of the pregnancy stage was the most crucial one.

and you understood that. you didn’t mind his overprotective nature since this was your first child and both of you you did not want anything bad happening to you and the baby.

second trimester

your bump was more visible now and you can kind of feel the additional weight on your body. you started buying more maternity clothes because most of your bottoms won’t even fit your waist anymore.

the little human inside you also started to kick in your womb. you and akaza would always wait for the baby to kick in the morning right after you wake up and whenever you were doing something exciting as you noticed your baby always responds to happy emotions. like when you’re laughing too much or eating your favorite foods.

akaza was still tending to your every needs and cravings. although it wasn’t as bad as the first few weeks of your pregnancy, but the mood swings were still there.

however as the cravings faded, your hormones started to spike up.

“babe- fuck, are you sure you’re okay with this?” akaza tries his best to hold back, but you always pushes him to his limits. “yes, akaza, please. need you right now.” you ran your hands from his naked chest to his lower abdomen, teasing the waistband of his boxers.

his fingers dipped inside your panties, gently sliding over your now wet slit. “already so wet for me, baby?” you nodded, cheeks flushed as you moaned from the feeling. “please- need to feel you inside me already.”

akaza placed his lips on yours along with the slip of one finger inside you, making you gasp in his mouth. “keep making those noises for me, pretty girl.” he groaned, adding another finger.

“f-fuck, yes-h-haa…” the kiss turned sloppy as his fingers moved faster, his other hand playing with your swollen tits. “look how pretty these tits are. so soft and swollen, hmm-“ you sighed, neck falling back onto the pillow as he sucked on your nipple, his other fingers playing with the other.

“‘m cumming- fuck! a-ah.. akaza-“

akaza curled his fingers inside you, hitting the spot once again as you finally released. your white juices staining the bedsheets as you tried to catch your breath.

“you need help bathing?” you nodded at your husband, smiling sheepishly. “yes please, i can’t clean my legs cuz of my tummy.” you pouted and he chuckled, “alright, ma, i’ll help you. like i always do.” akaza winked at you, and you lightly smacked him on the chest.

with a hand on your elbow and another on your waist, akaza helped you step in the tub, carefully guiding you down to sit as you held your growing tummy.

akaza made sure you were relaxed and settled before letting you go and grabbing the loofah, pouring a good amount of your favorite body wash. you sighed, closing your eyes as he began scrubbing and washing your body— starting with your shoulders and chest area.

"thank you," you mumbled, leaning your head against his chest as he continued on gently scrubbing your tummy and down your legs. "this is the best that i can do since you're doing all the hard work for our baby." he pressed a kiss on the crown of your head.

after your body and hair were all washed up, akaza got you a towel and carefully helped you get out of the tub to dry you. "lotion?" you nodded at your husband's question and he happily grabbed the bottle of lotion and started applying some on your back, softly massaging every area.

it was such an intimate and peaceful feeling. you were looking at him through the mirror as he was doing it and you let out a moan when he started massaging your breasts. "that feels good?" you nodded, letting out a whine when he suddenly pinched your nipples. "akaza!"

"wanna make you feel good.." he hummed, enjoying how you looked so naked and pretty in front of the mirror. akaza sat you down on the vanity and softly kissed you. your hands wrapping around the back of his neck automatically as the feeling between your thighs made you clench them together.

akaza pulled away and started kissing down your neck. his hands making their way back to your tender breasts and kneading them. "akaza.." you moaned, grinding your hips on his as you felt him get harder under his sweatpants.

"i know darling," akaza felt your wetness the moment his fingers touched your aching center. "fuck, already so wet for me." he pushed one finger in, then another, making you gasp. "more, f-fuck- akaza, more!" you moaned, feeling frustrated from how his fingers wasn't enough to satisfy you.

"just need to make sure you'll be okay, baby. fuck-" he continued pushing his fingers in and out of you, making sure you were feeling good but also comfortable in the countertop you were sitting at. he kissed your cheeks when he saw that you were close. "cum f'me, pretty girl."

you let yourself release the knot inside of you as your mouth formed an 'o', holding tight onto akaza's arms as you came. "that's my good girl. i love you so much," he kissed you passionately, and you responded, hands travelling down the band of his sweatpants to pull it down.

akaza helped you take it off and you bit your lip at the sight of his hard cock. "need it inside me, please." akaza hummed, "anything for my pretty girl." you stroked him a few times before lining the tip up your entrance. "let me do all the work, mmkay? don't want you tiring yourself." he gave you a peck and slowly pushed inside your needy entrance.

"ha-aah, s-so good-" you grabbed onto the back of his neck, watching as his whole length entered you with the sound of akaza groaning loudly. "you feel so fucking good." akaza pulled you in for a kiss and started thrusting in and out of your cunt.

both of you were moaning in each others mouths, your fingers grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging on it everytime akaza pushes deeper inside you, making the man groan. "yes, right there! ah!-" your forehead were on his as your mouth opened into a silent moan.

"are you close, my love?" akaza adjusted his pace, still being gentle as to not strain you too much nor the baby. "yes, mhmm- fuuck!" you cried out, looking at akaza with the most pretty yet lustful eyes. "let it all out darling, cum with me." both of you came, releasing the loudest moans and groans as akaza caught you in his arms before you went limp.

"i love you, my darling."

third trimester

you loathed your third trimester. you felt so heavy and tired. as well as uncomfortable, because of how round you felt. but you kept on telling yourself to stay strong for your baby. that you had a few weeks left before you can welcome her into the world.

akaza always tried his best to help you carry all the weight by holding your tummy whenever your standing up. like when your cooking, or getting ready. "i know this sounds easier said than done, but just two more weeks and we're going to see our baby."

for the last for weeks of your pregnancy, you've been going to the doctor once a week just to make sure everything is set once you give birth and that the baby is healthy.

you've also been staying inside more since you mostly felt like shit. all the weight on your tummy makes your body hurts, especially your back and waist. thankfully, your husband is there to give you a massage whenever you need one.

"i look like a ball," you pouted, talking to yourself as you were observing yourself in the mirror. akaza looked at you from his office chair at home, and smiled. "no you don't, you look like a strong, pregnant woman to me."

you frowned at him. "you're not the one carrying a whole human in him, are you?" he chuckled, raising both arms to accept defeat.

"you're ready to push, you're at 10cm already." the doctor alerted all the nurses as they began setting up the room for you and your baby once she comes out to the world. "is dad going to be with you during the whole birth?" the doctor asked, and you felt akaza hold your hand. "yes."

"okay momma, i need you to push in one, two, three!"

everything got so blurry after that. you could hear akaza telling you soothing phrases while the doctor was telling you to push and be strong. you were screaming, crying, and pushing for what felt like forever until you heard the doctor say, "i've got the head!"

you were so tired and exhausted that you didn't even realize that everyone was acting so frantically. the nurses were running everywhere, and the doctor was shouting things you couldn't comprehend although you heard the word "suffocating".

akaza was told to wait outside, and eventhough he was confused and nervous, he did what he was told to do for the sake of you and the baby.

you woke up in a different room from the one you were in earlier. the fatigue was still in your system, but you were eager to see your baby, so you tried sitting up only to feel a shooting pain in your lower abdomen.

akaza immediately stood up when he noticed you moving. your brows furrowed when you noticed his swollen, red eyes, and his overall dishveled state. "how's the baby?" you excitedly asked, only to receive a sad smile from your husband as a reply. "akaza?"

"where's our baby? is she healthy? did the nurse take her out to clean?" akaza's heart shattered when he saw the excitement and hope in your eyes slowly disappear. "darling.." you shook your head at him, terror coating your face as the tears just started pouring from your tired eyes.

"no, no, no, no!" you started thrashing around, not giving a fuck about the pain in your abdomen, eager to remove all the cords and needles attached to you just to see your baby. akaza immediately hugged you tightly, trying to stop you from hurting yourself further while whispering, "i'm sorry, my love. it's not your fault. i promise."

you kept on shouting "no!" and "my baby!" and it alarmed the nurses stationed near your room as they came in to check on you. your doctor soon came in and once you calmed down, she explained everything. about how the baby suddenly changed position and that the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, causing her to suffocate. they also had to give you a c-section in order to get her out of you which explains the pain on your lower abdomen.

everyone was devastated when they heard the news. it was hard. no one could compare to a mother losing their child. mitsuri and your family tried visiting you, but you turned all of them away. you didn't want to feel ashamed and embarassed for failing to bring your baby safely in this world.

akaza knew you were more devastated than anything else, but deep inside he also felt defeated and broken. it was his first ever child. your first ever child. you both waited so patiently for one and she got taken away from you so quickly and suddenly.

he did not ever leave your side after that day, not caring if he missed work because you were more important to him than anything and anyone else.

akaza knew you needed him and he needed you.

however, you couldn't be there for akaza because you feel deep down the rabbit hole and you couldn't climb back up no matter how hard other people helped you do so. it was like the world and just life lost its meaning.

you never once thought about how akaza was feeling, because you were to focused on grieving and blaming yourself for being a bad and a failure mother. you never once saw how akaza would cry in his office or whenever he was alone in the bathroom or whenever you were already asleep at night.

but akaza never blamed you for anything. he couldn't imagine how hard it is to carry a life inside of you for nine months just for it not to live once it was out of your womb. he understood how you couldn't be there for him because he knew it how hard it was. he understood how you couldn't comfort him and make him feel better, because at least you were there with him. at least, you were still alive and breathing beside him.

you should've known. you should've listened to all of akaza's words about how "it wasn't your fault" and "i still love you no matter what". you should've felt it through his actions. how he would still kiss you every morning when you wake up and every night before sleeping. how he would still cook your favorite foods and try to cheer you up by playing your favorite shows on the tv.

because maybe. just maybe if you did, then akaza would not be kneeling on the floor with your lifeless body swimming in a pool of blood.

maybe he wouldn't have to bear the silence of the big house which was once a home for both you and him, and your baby. maybe the house would still be lively from your cheerful presence and maybe even filled with little akazas and you running around the house instead of two pink urns designed with cherry blossoms on a table.

© uzuikyo. all rights reserved.

[theyanderespecialist]

Grell's Trans Man (Headcanons/Scenario) Yandere Grell X Trans Man Reader (Black Butler)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another chapter! This one is with Grell (Who is a trans woman in canon!) and she is yandere for you her trans man! Headcanons and Scenario! Let's do this! But first Disclaimer! 

(Disclaimer: Grell In Canon is a trans woman! Black Butler takes place in the past before surgery for bottom surgery was a thing! So Even though Grell and Reader do not have bodies that would match up with their true gender, they are still trans. Trans women are Women and Trans Men Are Men! Trans Rights Are Human Rights!

Disclaimer: Grell is not yandere in canon, but once again she IS A trans woman in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!)  

Please enjoy this chapter here, all of my sexy muffins!] 

-Yandere Headcanons With Yandere Grell X Trans Man (AFAB/FTM) Reader From Back Butler- 

.Grell is a man-loving woman and she is a bit boy-crazy. 

.You were socially transitioned, so you used a specially made and modified corset to bind your chest. 

.You also cut your hair to a shorter look and wear male clothing. 

.She falls obsessed with you, more than anyone else. 

.She was shocked that she realized you were like her but the opposite. 

.That you were born female or were a man. 

.She feels like you understand her in a way that no other person has. 

.She feels safe with you and she adores you. 

.She expresses how sexy you are and how she finds you to be so manly. 

.She is always making you feel like the man you are and always is comforting you when you need it. 

.Like when you are going through your period. 

.She is supportive of you and lets you hold onto her when the cramps are so strong. 

.She also lets you be the man in the relationship and loves when you are the gentleman opening the door for her. 

.And calling her, your lady~ 

.She adores you and is very protective of you and can become very jealous. 

.She hated when women would throw themselves at you, what harlots they were thinking that they had a chance with you. 

.She would have sex with you in many ways. With mainly you doing the bottoming from the top. Your guy's sex life is very unique in that you take control and be the one on top. But her cock would be inside your pussy. Still, you are the one to take control even though it is different parts for you guys. 

.She would not let you become pregnant, helping you make sure that you guys do not have sex when you are in your fertile time. 

.Also sometimes if she can find a way for you to have something to fuck her with. She would love you fully topping her~ 

.If people misgender you, she would not like it once, she would even kill humans with her death scythe, even though she is not supposed to. 

.No one insults her man. 

.She hopes that one day she could marry you and make you her husband, she imagines in a perfect world you would be her husband and she your wife. 

.So that is why her being your bride is one of her biggest dreams. 

.She would deal with rivals by scaring them off and killing them is she has to. 

.She would be the type of yandere that loves to shower you with affection and to make you feel so good. 

.She will help you feel like the man and for you to ravage her~ 

.She adores kissing you, like kissing you is even better than sex as it is so very intimate! 

.She can be a bit of a clingy yandere as well, she would not want to let you go and would love to snuggle in your big strong arms~ 

.She would confess to you with a well-written love letter where she expresses her love for you and shows you just how much she loves and adores you. 

.If you accept her love she is over the moon and cannot help but spin around and squeal with how happy she is. 

.If you did not accept her love she would be heartbroken and have her heart beak. 

.But she is not going to give up, she is the type of yandere that no matter how turned down she is not going to give up. 

.She will continue to love and adore you and show you were love to her final days! 

(Grell) (Her Super Touchy, Clingy, Obsessive Love~) 

(No One's POV) 

She loved you, loved you more than anyone else. She fell for you the moment she met you. She did not even know that you were born female. It did not matter to her, you were still the most stunning, handsome man to her. You are HER Stunning, handsome man! 

"(Name)!" She cries out when she sees you, she was on a job and was happy to see you, her stunning man. 

"Grell!" You cry out and smile at your girlfriend as she jumps down and pulls you into her arms. 

Her hands had even made a small grab at your ass~ She loved your tight ass~ 

"I am so glad to see you, you look even more handsome than usual~" She compliments you~  "Oh, thank you, and you look even more beautiful, my sweet lady~," You tell her and she blushes.  "Oh you are a sly sweet little devil~" She says. "So what are you doing out here?" She asks you. 

"Oh, my father wants me to meet ...someone." You say and look away, your father wanted you to meet a man, to have a suitor and a husband to stop all this silly gender nonsense, his words. 

"Oh, who is it?" She asks feeling a bit jealous as you seem to be keeping a little of info out from her. 

You sigh and look at her. "Grell, my father wants me to see Count Viktor. For a possible husband." You tell her making a face. 

Grell's face darkens. "Where is this man." She says. 

"Grell it does not matter who he is, I shall not accept his advances." You try to tell her but she grabs your chin. 

"You are my man, my future husband, and I will not let some man steal you from me. Now my sweet (Name). Tell me where he is." She orders you.  "Alright, he is down at the tea shop." You tell her and she nods your head kissing you deeply.  "I will deal with him, here go to the tailor and get a suit on me." She tells you, she was forgetting her mission and was going to make sure this man stayed away from you. 

You belonged to her, you were her future husband and she would not let any man, woman, or child have you. You are hers, and only hers. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[nish-bean]

okay so far—i’ve heard a lot of bridgerton book fans complain about how the writers “messed up” francesca’s story by making it “too inclusive” in gender-bending michael who is now, in the show, michaela.

whether or not you have an opinion yet, here’s a little rant on why i think the francesca/michaela pairing is not a bad change and why the show is actually taking a better turn than the books.

to start with, let me be frank about my opinions of the show vs the books. imo, there were some things the show messed up, however, their improvements to the stories of the characters far outweighed the negatives. season 1 was done quite well i think (although there was a rushed epilogue) and it definitely held my attention. season 2 was a bit more of a let down in comparison to the books because the story felt even more rushed in the show than the books which really is saying something. season 3 was delightful but i do wish we had more depth in penelope and colin’s relationship instead of just a checklist few feelings addressed. nonetheless, it was by far the most enjoyable season.

now to love on to francesca’s story. in the original books, francesca is married to john and loves him dearly until he dies leaving her pregnant and alone. michael, her love interest in the book, is john’s cousin and best friend. francesca, soon after john’s death, has a miscarriage and struggles with the fact that she very much wants a child. meanwhile, michael struggles with fitting into john’s shoes and the fact that he has been in love with francesca for years. honestly, this was my least favorite bridgerton book. so much so that i would say i did not like it at all.

the storyline seemed fine at first, but really the entire book was just michael pining after francesca and having a talk with colin after which he forces francesca to marry him and then there’s just a lot of sex. it was, i’m sad to say, a poorly written book. i’m sure many people like it but i for one can’t understand why. the characters never resolve their struggles—instead they just get married OUT OF THE BLUE. it didn’t feel like a good romance at that point.

the show is trying to (or at least what it looks like they intend to do) give francesca a more fulfilling storyline that doesn’t err on the creepy side of things. instead of a crazy, smitten male cousin who forces francesca to marry him—we have a soft but strong feminine character that doesn’t compete with john for francesca’s affections, but rather, allows the viewer to see her as a different love. yes, it explores sexuality and seems “too inclusive” but honestly i feel like it was a good choice. plus, given that they are both women, francesca will still deal with her infertility problems and perhaps find a solution or be given a different storyline altogether but certainly not worse than the books.

now, many argue that a gender-bending might’ve been better for eloise given her disdain for the “normalcy” of mundane society. while that is a valid point, eloise’s main love interest has already been introduced as marina’s (lady crane) new husband. assuming the writers want to continue with eloise’s original love story, they can no longer gender-bend eloise’s love interest without changing the characters altogether (which is a possibility i’m not opposed to).

all in all, the reason i’m so defensive about francesca’s show arc is probably because when i read the books i knew she deserved better than michael. he was overbearing and obsessed and i didn’t see francesca reciprocate anything but mild friendship and lust. i’m hoping that with the liberty to change this character, they give francesca the all-consuming, wonderful love story she deserves.

sorry for the rant haha :)

[heavyhitterheaux]

Idk if you are still accepting concepts for First Lady verse but I have one. The triplets are in there teens like 17 and Axel bring a couple of friends over. His tell him that they have a crush on his mom and telling him how hot she is and how if they had the chance they would hit it ! Jack over hears it and steps in and tells them that’s not how they talk about girls let alone women and just gives them a sad talk about respecting women!

Thank you

“Ax, babe!” You said while walking into the living room where he and all of his friends were playing 2K on his xbox.

“Yes, mom?”

“Can you reach up on the top shelf and get me something from the cabinet in the kitchen? I don’t want to bother your dad because he’s busy.”

“Sure, I’m coming.” He said while pausing the game, but what you didn’t notice was that there were multiple sets of eyes on you from the minute you stepped into the room. 

“Heyyy, Mrs. Harlow.”

“Hi boys, are you staying for dinner?” You asked and they all eagerly nodded their heads yes.

“If you’re cooking then of course. I’m tired of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at my dad’s. He can’t cook.” Anthony, who is Axel’s best friend, said in response.

“Hmm, sounds like my husband.” You muttered and Axel immediately stifled a laugh. 

Axel walked into the kitchen with you and you pointed to what you needed before he grabbed it with ease and simply put it on the counter behind you and proceeded to give you a light pat on your head and laughed and you immediately tried to swat his hand away.

“Dad wasn’t lying, you do walk around here like you’re 6’3, but barely 5 feet.”

“He said that?!”

“Oops.”

“That’s fine, I got something for him when he comes back upstairs from being in the studio.”

“Look, I’m innocent and it wasn’t me.”

“Oh no you don’t. You’re going down right along with him.” You said as you were looking in the cabinets below to figure out which pan you wanted to use that would be big enough for what you were making as Axel made his way back into the living room. 

“Yo Ax, I have the biggest crush on your mom, she’s gorgeous.”

“Me too and she’s definitely a MILF.”

“Let me get the opportunity just one time, I’m hitting that.”

“I see why your dad got her pregnant so many times.”

“Okay, chill. That’s my mom you’re talking about.” Axel responded while shaking his head in disbelief and getting defensive. One thing he didn’t play about was people disrespecting his mother, father, or any of his siblings. 

“We know and I thought that was already established.”

“Don’t do that because it’s not only disgusting but disrespectful towards her.”

“We’re just playing, Ax. No need to get upset.” Brandon said while holding his hands up in defense while they suddenly heard Jack’s voice.

“I know that I didn’t just hear what I think I heard.” He said while coming into the living room and it immediately got quiet.

“Uhh…”

“What we don’t do under my roof is disrespect women, especially my wife. I know all of your parents and I know for a fact that you were raised better than that.”

“Mr. Harlow…” Anthony started to say, but he immediately cut him off.

“Turn the game off now, because it’s clear that this needs to be addressed.”

Without hesitation, Anthony, who was the closest to the console, turned the game off and Jack simply sat down across from them.

“I admit that when I was your age that I was guilty of doing the same thing, however, I was already with Y/N so that’s not 100% accurate, but that is exactly how the people around me would talk about women. It is not only disgusting but disrespectful like Axel said and there is absolutely no reason for you to talk about the opposite sex like that. They’re human beings who also have feelings and they’re not just some object. Think about how you would feel if someone talked about your mothers the way you all are talking about Ax’s.”

“We were just joking.” Brandon said quietly, but Jack simply shook his head.

“But were you though? Because it didn’t sound like it and it’s nothing to joke about. Women deserve respect for everything they do and put out into this world whether you agree with it or not. Your mothers didn’t spend hours of being in labor with your big ass heads to have you come out into the world and act like this. Women literally make the world go round and we would cease to exist without them. How do any of you expect to get and keep a girlfriend or eventually get married if that’s what you want if you act like this?”

“Well, if we were to get married, it would stop.”

“It needs to stop now. Being young is not an excuse. We’ve been married for almost 28 years and it definitely wouldn’t have lasted this long if I was continuously disrespectful towards her. From this point forward all of you need to do better and apologize to her when she comes back in here.”

Just then you walked back into the living room to look for Jack since he wasn’t in the studio when you went down there to look for him.

“Hey smush, when did you come up here? Anyway, is PG coming over for dinner too? That means that I need to run to the store to get more ingredients. I told Jess to make three tres leches cakes and Blanca is making chocoflan. Do you think that’s enough?” You asked while leaning down to kiss the top of his curls.

“Been up here for a few minutes and I think they are. Tell Jess to make four because knowing Urban he wants to have one to himself and Blanca probably needs to make four too.”

“Okay, let me just make the list…”

“Mom, we can go to the store for you.” Axel said and you immediately eyed him.

“Are you sure? It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, we got it.”

“Okay, I’ll send you the list and make sure you take daddy’s credit card.”

“WHAT?!” Jack exclaimed and you immediately laughed as Axel held out his hand towards him.

All he did was sigh before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.

“Remember happy wife, happy life, dad.”

“Mmm hmm. Stick to the list and get me another bottle of ranch” Jack said and you immediately rolled your eyes.

“Oh, and Mrs. Harlow we’re sorry.” Anthony said and you looked at him confused.

“For what, sweetheart?”

“For being disrespectful towards you and talking about you like you’re an object. Mr. Harlow overheard us and set us straight.”

“Oh. Well you’re forgiven. Just remember all of you would literally crumble without us. Do better moving forward and realize everyone deserves respect.”

“We understand.”

Axel grabbed his keys and the rest of his friends followed him out the door when you simply looked over at Jack before he pulled you into his lap.

“Was it that bad?” You quietly asked and Jack simply nodded.

“Bad enough and I never want anyone talking about you like that and I overhear it. All of them looked like they were about to shit themselves when they saw me and found out I overheard what they were saying.”

“I’m so happy that Ax has such a good daddy to look up to.” You said while leaning down to kiss him.

“He was the one trying to get them to stop, too.”

“I figured. My baby doesn’t play about his mama.”

“And I don’t play about my wife. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too. So much.” You said while leaning down to give him several pecks.

“We need to start planning what we want to do for our 30th wedding anniversary. Damn, you’ve been with me for that long?!”

“34 in total and yes. Wouldn’t have it any other way and we’re going for that many more.”

“Still remember when I first saw that pretty girl with braids in her hair across the street from me.”

“And it was the blue eyes and freckles for me.”

The two of you were sitting in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before you spoke up again.

“Baby, did you say that I walk around here like I’m 6’3 even though I’m barely five feet?”

“Who… who told you that?!”

“Your second born.”

“Imma kick his ass, he wasn’t supposed to say anything!”

[fandomworld9728]

King of Hell Adam & Queen of Hell Lucifer AU & The Morningstar Pack (Omegaverse - Sequel to The Life of the Morningstars) AU:

Can we have some headcanons, please?

(Yay! More asks and headcanons! If you are the anon that keeps asking for the different headcanons I'm going to start calling you Headcanon Anon if you're fine with that ^-^)

(Not sure what characters you wanted headcanons for so I'm just going to do the characters that are mostly focused on in those au's. If you'd like other characters from those au's let me know and I'll do headcanons for them too ^-^)

King of Hell Adam & Queen of Hell Lucifer AU (The King & Queen of Hell):

Adam: Pronouns are he/him and his secondary gender is alpha. He doesn't have a label on his sexuality. He knows he's attracted to women and Lucifer. All the different names confuse him, so he doesn't even bother trying to figure it out. He knows what he likes and that's that.

Is King of Hell and married to Lucifer. Formerly married to Eve with Lucifer back in Eden. Is the father of Cain, Abel, Emily, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Charlie. Adopted Mammon and Leviathan with Lucifer.

Fell willingly with Lucifer and helped them get back on their feet before helping to grow and support Hell. Has a habit of putting his hand or wings on Luci's belly. It reminds him of the time where he can hear/feel his babies. Especially when Luci was pregnant with Cain & Abel.

When Adam is first holding Charlie as a newborn, he is reminded of where he first held Emily and it brings him to tears. Looking at his youngest and suddenly remembering holding his first daughter put a lot of emotional stress on Adam. Especially since he hasn't seen Emily in years.

Adam’s appearance changed since falling with Lucifer. He now has black wings that looked like they were dipped in gold and now had hooves and ram horns along with a black lion’s tail. He also has long, sharp, black claw-like nails he has to keep filed down.

His magic is mainly used when playing his guitar. Adam will often call Lucifer his angel, his queen, love, his silly bird/snake/ewe (depending on which animal Lucifer is acting most like in that moment) or use the names of different flowers he finds beautiful or that fit with Lucifer's personality.

While Adam has many admirers, his biggest one is Velvette. Him and Lucifer are close friends with Carmilla and Zestial. The only Overlords he holds any sort of respect for are Carmilla Carmine, Zestial, Rosie, and Alastor. He absolutely hates the Vees.

When there’s anything official, he has to dress up for, Adam will usually be wearing Victorian style suits in the colors of black and red with golden accents. Every once and a while he'd have a dark purple with black and gold accents. His every day outfits are more along the line of rock and grunge style.

Actually has the biggest crush on the right-hand woman of the Exorcist Angels but tries his best to hide it.

Lucifer - Pronouns are he/Him (most preferred), She/Her, They/Them (pronouns change depending on the day). Secondary gender is Omega. Is Pansexual & Demisexual, Genderfluid. 

Is the Queen of Hell and married to Adam. Mother of Cain, Abel, Emily, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Satan, Belphegor, & Charlie. Adopted Mammon and Leviathan with Adam. Instead of falling for and falling with Lilith, it was Adam. Lucifer blamed themself every day for what happened, for them ending up cast from Heaven.

While Adam holds the title of King, Lucifer is the true ruler of Hell. Their body is covered in golden scars from being dragged down to Hell and having their wings ripped off, along with their hands and arms being burnt from holy light. 

Feeling self-conscious from it, they used to wear clothes that always covered them up and never looked at themself in the mirror when they needed to undress in any sort of fashion.

Avoided having sex with Adam for a long time because of it. They were slowly growing more comfortable with it the more they were reassured by their husband that they still found them as beautiful, if not more, as when they were an angel in the garden.

Lucifer will often call Adam their warrior, their protector, their king, baby/babe, their handsome ram, and every now and then will call him their ducky to get a reaction out of him. Especially in front of other people. Formerly married to Eve with Adam back in Eden.

 Lucifer and Adam are close friends with Carmilla and Zestial. They bonded with Carmilla over their children.

While they love their ringleader suit, they also enjoy dressing up in all different outfits from all different eras. It's not often they put on a skirt or dress but when they do they go all out. Hair, makeup, nails. But the only heels they'll wear are heeled boots. Much more comfortable with their hooved feet.

Lucifer has worn flowing gowns. But only on request of their husband. They'll indulge Adam on special occasions since it isn't something they'd normally choose to wear. Not that they hate those types of dresses. They just aren't practical when trying to run Hell.

Openly crushes on people when they take interest in someone. Not only because they have the freedom and abundance of love to do so, but also because they love to see their husband all jealous and possessive.

Tends to let their demonic side out more than in canon. Wears their hair long enough to tie it in a small, low ponytail but will usually wear it loose and shaggy. Does not hide their goat like hooves and horns when relaxing. 

Has star-like freckles across their face and splattered all over their body that were only noticeable from up close or dim and dark areas. Or when the light hit them just right.

Despite all the children they already have, they would gladly welcome having more. Either by birth or adoption.

Charlie -

Pronouns are She/Her. Secondary gender is alpha. Is Bisexual. the Princess of Pride and heir to the throne of Hell. The daughter of Adam & Lucifer and the twin sister of Belphegor. Youngest out of all her siblings.

Was the most naive and true to her heart out of her siblings, a trait she got from Lucifer, but got the confidence and assertiveness from Adam. However, she is more hesitant to show that side of her. Both sides of her personality are usually at war with each other. Whatever emotion is strongest at the moment will decide which side is shown.

No one knows at first glance that Charlie is the heir to Hell’s throne even though she looks like a copy of Lucifer. The only difference is that she got Adam’s height and streaks of his brown in her hair.

Has the same star-like freckles as Lucifer, but only scattered across her cheeks and nose. Has only one dress she wears and only wears it to important royal events as she prefers more masculine leaning clothing. Specializes in the viola. Favors musicals and swing.

Used to date Seviathan but is now in a happy 3-year long relationship with Vaggie.

Cain -

Pronouns are He/Him. Secondary gender is alpha. Is Demisexual & Demiromantic. Son of Adam & Lucifer. Oldest out of all his siblings and twin brother of Abel.

Is very much into punk, rock, metal, and screamo music. Pop music is his guilty pleasure. Specializes in the electric guitar and drums. 

Enjoys causing any sort of chaos for entertainment. Usually with Abel. It is rare for Cain to be seen without his twin.

Cain & Abel are very protective of their family. They won't step in with their parents unless a line is crossed, however, when it comes to their siblings all bets are off. Not after their baby sister got taken away from them. That fear and separation anxiety has their big brother protectiveness ramped up to 200%

Especially when it comes to Charlie and Emily. 

Cain & Abel are not interested in relationships. Because they have each other. They don't need another person in their life when they have their family but aren’t opposed to the idea of having a partner.

Had a habit of going under their mother's/father's wings, that habit also went to their younger siblings as a child.

Has the same star-like freckles as Lucifer, but only on his back and arms. Gets height and most of his looks from Adam. Brown hair cut short. Has his tongue, eyebrow, ears, and lip pierced. Has a more feminine face and build from Lucifer along with light blue eyes.

Has a pair of red and black wings he can summon at will, as well as ram-like hooves, horns, and tail.

Abel -

Pronouns are He/Him, They/Them. Secondary gender is alpha. Is Demisexual & Demiromantic, Demiboy. Son of Adam & Lucifer. Second oldest out of all his siblings and twin brother of Cain.

Is very much into punk, rock, metal, and screamo music. Musicals and opera are his guilty pleasures. Specializes in the electric and acoustic guitar, piano, and the saxophone.

Enjoys causing any sort of chaos for entertainment. Usually with Cain. It is rare for Abel to be seen without his twin.

Cain & Abel are very protective of their family. They won't step in with their parents unless a line is crossed, however, when it comes to their siblings all bets are off. Not after their baby sister got taken away from them. That fear and separation anxiety has their big brother protectiveness ramped up to 200%

Especially when it comes to Charlie and Emily. 

Cain & Abel are not interested in relationships. Because they have each other. They don't need another person in their life when they have their family but aren’t opposed to the idea of having a partner.

Had a habit of going under their mother's/father's wings, that habit also went to their younger siblings as a child.

Has the same star-like freckles as Lucifer all over his body like them. Gets height and most of his looks from Adam. Grew his brown hair down to his hips, usually tied back in a low ponytail or braided, with an undercut. Has his ears, nose, and lip pierced. Has a more feminine face and build from Lucifer along with light blue eyes.

Has a pair of dark blue and black wings he can summon at will, as well as ram-like hooves, horns, and tail.

Alastor -

Pronouns are He/Him. Secondary gender is alpha. Is Graysexual & Demiromantic. (This is unfortunately all I have for him at the moment since he isn’t fully fleshed out in the AU as of yet)

The Morningstar Pack (The Life of the Morningstars AU):

Lucifer -

Is an Omega and the King of Hell. Isn’t what most would call a traditional omega because he wasn’t taught about the ‘proper’ ways of an omega until after sinners started to populate Hell. As well as not wanting to be restricted by such expectations.

Is polyamorous but willing to settle down with only one partner if they are not comfortable with him seeing other people while in a relationship.

Has two daughters, Emily and Charlie, who are his world. Had thought that he fell in love three times in his life, but was really only twice. Each time was with a human.

Very close to Beelzebub and Asmodeus. Grew close to the members of the hotel and sees them as part of the family. Views Vaggie and Angel Dust as his own children. Had befriended Blitzo and likes to exchange stories about their daughters.

His scent used to be of fresh apples, honey, and summer rain. His scent soured once Lilith broke their mating bond and abandoned him and Charlie. It now smells of overripe, sour apples and burnt honey.

Fell in love with Adam first in Eden, and an unknown human before he had Charlie. Has somehow lost memories of being with the unknown human he loved so dearly.

Used to be a party animal in the early years of Hell before he had Charlie. Is in possession of Angel Dust’s soul to protect him and keep him out of Valentino’s clutches until he is able to get a new job.

Alastor - Is an Alpha and an Overlord. Demisexual and Demiromantic. Never really cared much about the traditional ways of secondary genders. Mostly due to how he saw his mother treated growing up.

Found himself oddly drawn to and attracted to Lucifer upon their first meeting, however held a strong distaste for him thinking he was not only an alpha but also a neglectful father. Though, after getting to know him he found himself unable to deny how he felt towards the other man.

Was shocked and thrilled to find out Lucifer was an omega and was determined to court the omega and make him his mate. Is extremely possessive over the King but is reluctantly willing to share if it makes him happy.

Sees Charlie as his own daughter and by extension, Vaggie, seeing as they are partners. Wants to kill God, thinking that he keeps trying to keep him and Lucifer apart.

Charlie - Is an Alpha and Princess of Hell, heir to the throne. Was raised by Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Asmodeus. Didn’t like Lilith since childhood for how she treated her father.

Has been with her alpha partner for almost four years. Views everyone at the hotel as her family, especially Angel Dust and Alastor, who she sees as an older brother and father figure.

Wants to prove that she can be a great alpha. Not just for her pack but for all of Hell as its future Queen.

Adam - Is an Alpha and former angel. Now a sinner. Fell in love with Lucifer in Eden and had Emily with him. Something had broken apart their relationship and led Adam to hate him but never stop loving him.

Has an odd and misplaced viewpoint of the world, himself, and Hell thanks to Heaven. Is finding himself and bettering himself now that he is at the Hazbin Hotel. Possessive of Lucifer but trying to take a step back to mend their relationship.

Vox - Is an Alpha and an Overlord. Has set his sights on Lucifer.

 Doesn’t know why but is positive that Charlie is his biological daughter after hearing that her alpha parent was a human and not the former queen.

[ceo-of-stealing-ur-fucking-teeth]

Content Warning: Religious Trauma, Religious, Emotional, Physical, Sexual, and Child Abuse

As a Catholic Kid, I was taught three things very early on;

1. Gods love was unconditional

2. Until there were conditions he, or the adults in my life didn’t like

3. And then his anger was terrible.

Many people who have dealt with toxic families, either by being in one, or by being a social worker, therapist, teacher, or any other aid of that nature, might recognize a lot of these. I’m of the first category.

My Catholic upbringing groomed me for abuse from an early age.

God loved gays. Until said gays wanted to do things like have relationships, or exist more loudly in the world, or deviate in any way from what my Catholic family found appropriate. Like having the audacity to want to be married. “I’ll love you, and whoever you choose to love.” My divorced Catholic mother told me, one day when I’m confronting her. “But we will not recognize a marriage.” “Why can’t one of my children be straight!” She laments, when another kid comes out. She doesn’t remember the pictures she’d allow to be painted of loneliness and damnation for her young queer child, the noises of judgment and the hushed whispers of relatives that brought shame to the family. The tone of Justice when something bad would happen to a gay person, like somehow they’d earned their fate with AIDS, or at the hands some some drunk redneck.

God loves Children. That’s why he hates abortion. Nevermind that there’s descriptions of how to provide them in the bible. He wants you to yell at women going into clinics, even the young teenage girls who said no, who couldn’t say no, who said yes but had no resources to know about safe sex, or even the ones who just wanted to have fun. They don’t get a childhood, it’s been taken, they don’t deserve it. They don’t own their bodies, and never will. Despite God getting a young woman pregnant out of wedlock. At least he asked for consent. He loves all the starving children, the LGBTQ+ children kicked out of their homes by his adherents, the ones in Warzones, the ones being killed. Suffering, while he watches. Sometimes blamed, because they didn’t believe in him the way we did. He even loves the victims of his church as they shuffle another priest off to another parish, leaving another group of children broken and traumatized.

God loves women. If they followed his ideal of womanhood. Don’t have sex except to have kids. But you’re faulty if you can’t and you shouldn’t try anything to fix it despite the judgement others feel for you and your defective body. And no abortion for you, even if the ultrasound tells you your baby, that you’ve carried for months, has no heartbeat, or half a brain, or is conjoined to their twin in a way that will insure they have no quality of life. Sacrifice everything for your husband and children. Be modest, be subservient. Never blame men, even when they grab you and grope you and tell you it’s fine, because you were probably leading them on. Don’t get divorced, even if you don’t love him anymore, even if he hurts you with words or fists, even if he’s useless around the home because the home is your job, no matter how much there is to shoulder. He works so hard as the head of the house, while he ignores his children and eats the food you make and can’t even figure out how to wash his laundry and he’ll just mess it up anyways, so why don’t you do it for him?

You don’t ask questions. You don’t. You obey mom and dad, even when they isolate you, and abuse you. You’re not mentally ill and young, you’re evil. You’re not chafing under their control and telling them that they’re hurting you, you’re venomous. You’re going to confession because you’re not honouring your parents. Nevermind that honour is nothing in that home. Hypocrisy is all you see from an early age, mother and father telling you one thing and doing another. You family lives a lie, and the other adults around you watch it and do nothing. Your priest, their friends in the church, good people of the Faith, see and hear things and let it happen because it’s none of their business. As a homeschooled child, you have no exposure to mandatory reporters, and they instilled a fear of the government in you that insures after a while you stop talking about it. If you go to foster care you’ll never see any of your siblings again, even though there were other family members who would have found out. Eventually so many things are internalized, the blame, the shame, the ahistorical understanding of the world, the fact that people deserve to suffer because that means they’re evil or faulty somehow. But god loves them! The sexism, the homophobia, xenophobia. A moment of I love you followed by days of screaming, blame, hitting. “Why are you cringing, you act like we beat you.” Then ten minutes later they walk up behind you, slap your skull to get your attention and demand to know why the cupboard was left open. On, and on.

Pain and suffering are Gods will. Fetishized, with bloody crucifixes and stories of martyrs. Especially yours, and people like you. It’s in the books you read and on the lips of adults who you trust. It’s used to justify hurting others because they’re different or making mistakes. Love and pain and cruelty become tangled in each other.

You think about hell, and you’re very small, and you start crying because you already know that you’re making God angry and sad because that’s how your parents talk to you. And you don’t know it yet but it’s going to get worse. You’re going to grow up preconditioned for people to hurt you.

But God loves you unconditionally.

[arizonaconservativegal]

For the fact that Bruce Jenner is a man with reproductive sexual organs of man same as me and how the fuck does that make him different than any other man? when in fact he is a man. How the fuck do you think he is woman just like yourself a natural born female? If you think he is a women how come he cannot get periods or goes through what a woman´s body goes through and if younger how would that man get pregnant? like to hear your leftists logic on men like him who think he is a woman.

Here's the thing about Caitlyn Jenner

Obviously she is biologically male. Obviously she is not the same as a biological woman. She's also not trying to tell anyone that she gets pms or should be allowed to compete against women in sports (quite the opposite of that, in fact). As far as I can tell, she's just trying to live as normal a life as someone like her is able but she's under no illusions that she will ever be quite the same and she's not trying to change the rest of us to make herself feel more normal.

I'm totally fine with this. She's not bothering me. She's not doing anything that affects anyone else.

So yeah I'm going to call her Caitlyn and refer to her as 'she' and all that. She hasn't gone by Bruce in ten years. My friend just got married and took her husband's last name. That doesn't make her biologically a Smith. But she's part of the family now so we're going to call her Smith. Caitlyn Jenner is not biologically a woman but as far as I'm concerned, refusing to acknowledge that she is living the way the rest of us do is just as silly as refusing to call my friend by her new last name. I can think it's a little weird, just like I'd think it was a little weird if my friend had decided to hyphenate her last name instead of just going with Smith, but so what?

I don't care what adults want to do with their own body and what they want to call themselves. I only care when they start to impose on others.

As far as all the other trans stuff goes...

I think there are a lot of kids who would have been goth or emo when I was growing up but these days are being told that they are probably trans or whatever. They just feel out of place and are searching for something that makes them feel understood. And while I don't really see the harm in letting them buy some new clothes and cut their hair a certain way to see if they feel better, there is no good reason for any medical procedures to be performed on them. I think there are a lot of well intentioned but misguided people trying to help them and I think there are a lot of sick fucks trying to take advantage for politics or profit.

I think there are also a lot more sick fucks who like to pretend to be trans whenever it's convenient and gives them access to someone they can prey upon. But let's just be adults here for a second - I'm pretty sure we can all tell the difference between someone like Caitlyn Jenner and some creep that just got convicted of raping four women and has decided suddenly that he would like to serve his sentence in the women's prison. Come on.

Locker rooms, bathrooms, and prisons are sex segregated for a reason and should stay that way. I would be perfectly happy to see some more gender neutral locker rooms and bathrooms in addition to the women's and men's rooms - but I am vehemently opposed to making either one of those the new gender neutral space.

I am not going to entertain the idea that transwomen are identical to the rest of us. Sports are sex segregated for a reason as well. I don't really know what would be fair to trans athletes but I know for sure that making the women's team the 'everyone team' is not fair to anyone. Anyone pushing that is just willfully blinded by politics.

I am not going to refer to mothers as 'birthing people' or gynecology patients as 'people with vaginas' or any of that nonsense. I am also not going to say 'people with two legs' to be sensitive to people who have fewer. We all know what we're talking about and if you are offended by your own differences, then I'm sorry but that's not something some sparkly new language is going to fix for you. I'm certainly not going to entertain the idea of changing the definition of 'woman.' I'm not going change how I refer to myself to appease anyone else. I will call you whatever name you want but you don't get to redefine who I am.

And if you pick a really stupid name or fake pronoun for yourself, don't be shocked when someone makes fun of it the way we all make fun of Xitter or some millennial naming her kid MacKeighleigh.

But here's the other thing about Caitlyn Jenner - she is not any of those people. Actually I don't think most trans people are any of those people. I think almost all of that garbage comes from people who are misappropriating the label or who fancy themselves activists and they're giving the actual trans community a bad rap. I think most trans people are pretty normal aside from the obvious.

We have a handful of legitimate issues to work out in regards to the bathrooms and sports and I'm sure that is a little uncomfortable to have to hash out but I think if we stop trying to be assholes on purpose, we can figure it out.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I also read the Maiden Lane series (I finished the last book last week) and I actually think book 2 was my favorite, I devoured it, I think all the negative reviews there are on Goodreads made me lower my expectations and I was so pleasantly surprised. It was such a different “ballroom romance” and never afraid of going to more difficult and “immoral” places. I think generally speaking there is too much purity discourse around historical romance and I was just surprised by how unapologetically messy all the characters are in her books. Do you have other books with that vibe? Also thank you a lot for the rec cause I think my perception of what makes a good historical series totally changed after reading her books

I'm so glad you liked it! That book gets a bad rep because it is "cheating", which I think is so unfair tbh. I don't feel like historical romance cheating is often the same thing as contemporary cheating, lol. Was Hero engaged? Sure. Did she have any feelings for that man or vice versa? No. Her brother was forcing her into the relationship. She had no true power. Her giving her virginity to a man who was not her intended was truly one of the only acts of agency available to her, and it was risky as hell.

But yeah, a lot of historical readers, unfortunately, are there to basically act out their purity fantasies. Like, it's fine if the characters fuck outside of wedlock, but only if it's monumental and viewed with shame. Non-virgins must be widows. Sex should result in pregnancy, etc. There's not a lot of consideration given to the fact that a) these books are inherently inaccurate and b) even if they were true to life, people had casual (by the standards of the time) back then, many marriages occurred because sex was had out of wedlock, people anticipated the wedding often, women took lovers. Not everyone felt this huge amount of guilt over it. Hoyt is so good at that.

For a similar vibe, I would absolutely recommend Joanna Shupe, who wrote a few Regencies, a few Victorians, and mostly Gilded Age books. Her characters love sex and are immensely messy (so much drama, so many revenge plots, so many heroines defying their fathers, so much excess) aaand often make bad decisions at first. I would recommend basically anything by her, but standouts include:

The Uptown Girls Trilogy: About three daughters of a rich New York man--the oldest one, who fucks daddy's lawyer/fixer; the rebellious middle child, who asks a casino owner to mentor her but dun dun DUN he really wants to ruin her dad; the baby angel, who gets tangled up with a gangster.

Fifth Avenue Rebels: Four friends get into some bullshit after a messy Newport party--the first is childhood friends to lovers with a heroine engaged to another man; sex lessons by a himbo rake to a shy wallflower type; former fiancees who hate each other hooking up at a masked sex party; and two assholes who've been circling each other the whole series finally becoming fuckbuddies, except he wants LOVE.

My Dirty Duke: a novella about a heroine who wants her father's BFF

Wicked Deceptions: her Regency books about: a duchess who disguises herself as a courtesan to get pregnant by the husband that abandoned her; a former scandal of a woman tangling with an uptight earl; a woman who cross dresses in order to do some good in the world getting found out by her dude friend who thinks he's going insane.

Nicola Davidson writes some fun books about people who walk on the wild side--she especially focuses on sex and queer issues. Start with her novellas, like Seven Sinful Nights (heroine agrees to be bad man's mistress for a week to avoid. her horrid in-laws) or Duke for Hire (the heroine pays a down on his luck duke to deflower her). Davidson does a lot of research and is super knowledgeable about things like sex toys, sex work, etc, in the past.

Eva Leigh writes really frank, honest books with morally complex characters. Lady Viper and The Bastard is her Georgian novella about a pair of rivals (both in their 40s) who fall in love as they scheme to tear two lovers apart; her Last Chance Scoundrels trilogy is a really good series about three friends (two of whom are brothers) who have to find wives within a year after ruining a much-vaunted wedding. Does a good job of exploring a more diverse (in several ways) England with artistic circles and parties and hedonism. Offers characters from both aristocratic and working class backgrounds.

Adriana Herrera's Las Leonas series focuses on a group of friends who leave the modern Dominican Republic and go to Paris to find love. The first book is m/f, the second f/f. They explore a world you rarely see in historicals, with sex (not all straight) and politics and art and subversive thinking.

You might also like Sierra Simone's historicals--she writes great erotic romance. Try The Chasing of Eleanor Vane (m/f, heroine is engaged to a loser but is seduced by his older uncle) and The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind (m/m, one hero abducts the other for revenge, BDSM ensues), and The Conquering of Tate the Pious (f/f medieval, abbess falls in love with a lady conqueror who also conquers ladies).

Stacy Reid writes some deliciously messy books that sometimes feel like send-ups to old school historicals. Try her Wedded by Scandal series, which I love, featuring absolutely nobody who isn't messy, and tons of public sex.

Grace Callaway writes some really hot, fun, messy, mystery-solving historicals. Give her Lady Charlotte's Society of Angels series a try. It's Charlie's Angels, but historical, and these girls are constantly getting into trouble and falling for men who go "I must spank yhou for this, 10% as punishment and 90% because I'm hard". They're delightful.

Of course, you should definitely try Sarah MacLean as well. Her Rules of Scoundrels series (my favorite) focuses on four casino owners; Bareknuckle Bastards centers three outcasts who run Covent Garden; and her current Hell's Belles series focuses on a girl gang of friends who fuck shit up, basically.

Alexis Hall's Something Fabulous is a m/m historical romcom about a pair of heroes who go on a wild goose chase for the uptight one's fiancee after she runs away. The next book, Something Spectacular, focuses on the queer world even further with a genderfluid lead falling for a castrato soprano (fun fact: entirely accurate that castrati GOT THE FUCK LAID EVERYWHERE). If you want less whimsy and more drama, his A Lady for a Duke focuses on a trans heroine falling for a duke and having to deal with telling him about her past. Also something historicals often avoid--queer people have always existed!

[wordtowords]

In Vogue: All That is Preternatural

preternatural - adjective - beyond what is normal; unusual (Google)

Is it just me, or does it look like everyone is trying to jump onto the preternatural bandwagon in a big way? Are creators so uninspired with what most would consider normal that they feel they have to push the envelope and take huge risks in order to get people to notice? I don't know, but yesterday I was led down a fork in the road, which veered away from Status Quo Drive, and I wound up taking a walk on the wild, weird side.

Case in point #1: The pregnant daughter of my best friend decided to videotape the preternatural way she chose to announce the gender of her forthcoming infant to close relatives. My friend, no doubt proud of her daughter's idiosyncratic imagination, texted the footage to a small group of us women friends. The daughter–I'll call her Cindy–is obsessed with her two riotous black Labs and felt that she just had to include them somehow, somewhere in the unveiling, so she bought and later put a blue collar on one (to represent a boy baby) and a pink collar on the other (to represent a girl). Then on one side of the family room, Cindy had her husband contain the dogs in separate cages in order to control them and heighten the suspense. On the opposite side of the room, Cindy was crouching down, holding a treat. When she called out to the right dog, her hubby opened just the right cage and it galloped to her, revealing to everyone its blue collar. It was all very Pavlovian to me, and I suppose unique, to be euphemistic. I'm sure all of you dog lovers out there can't wait to impart this preternatural, pre-natal gender reveal to your own expecting daughters or sons; but personally, I am left thinking that the whole thing divulged more than just the baby's sex. My guess is that Cindy may just wind up spending more quality time with the dogs than with her son. Thank Goodness the husband seems to prefer human children over canine kids.

Case in point #2: Have you seen any of the critically acclaimed films released in 2022? After the aforementioned texted home video, I saw two on TV that are being streamed right now: "Banshees of Inisherin" and "Everything Everywhere All at Once," both considered foreign, I believe. (And yes, they are, very.) The first, set on a beautiful, bucolic, remote island off the coast of Ireland somewhere in the distant, indiscernible past, has a simple, yet somewhat ridiculous plot involving two grown men: the older friend decides to alienate his younger best friend because he is dull, and warns him if he persists in wanting to reclaim the friendship, in retaliation, he will cut off his fingers on his left hand, the hand he uses to play the violin. That's it. That's the plot. Does he do it? Of course. And his selfish, sadomasochistic act leads to repercussions that only worsen the situation, but at least the bored protagonist is no longer bored. He's miserable. The second film, sci-fi in many respects, is pretty much a series of nonstop acid trips depicting parallel universes that eventually boil down to a reconciliation between an estranged teen daughter and her mother, the owner of a laundromat (both are Chinese in descent) somewhere in L.A. Both movies transcend the preternatural. I'm sorry, but both are just weird–too weird for my taste.

I am sure there are plenty of critics and readers out there who definitely disagree with me and would take a walk on the wild, weird side any day of the week just to take the detour off Status Quo Drive. Which is perfectly fine. To each, his or her (or their) own. Yet every once in a while, natural, as opposed to preternatural, is on the soft, comforting, cozy side :).

#film review, #word-to-words, #slice-of-life, #literature, #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing #opinion #satire

[seijorhi]

Pretty Young Thing

A yandere Erasermic commission for an anon, I hope you like it bby!!

Aizawa Shouta x reader x Hizashi Yamada

TW non-con, breeding kink, pregnancy, surrogacy, pregnant sex, smut, age-gap, nsfw

“Don’t you think she’s a little young, ‘Zashi?”

“It’s up to you both how involved you are during the first stages and the overall pregnancy. Normally we suggest an initial meeting with the potential surrogate for all three of you to get a feel for one another and decide if you want to proceed with the arrangement, but should you wish, we can–”

“No,” he interrupts, sparing Hizashi a fleeting glance. “We want to meet her.”

Beneath the desk, his husband squeezes his hand. 

Hizashi quirks an eyebrow, pausing midway through fixing his hair in the mirror. “Whaddya mean, babe? She’s in her twenties ain’t she?”

He’s not wrong, but that’s not the issue. They picked you, they both picked you, but there’s this lingering unease that he can’t seem to shake. It’s not so much your age specifically, he knows that you’re only a few years younger than the majority of the other women whose profiles they’d seen – you’re old enough to understand what you’re getting yourself into and agree to it, at any rate – it’s just that he doesn’t quite understand why somebody your age would want to do this.

And there’s something different about you, it’s just a feeling of course – he hasn’t yet had a chance to confirm his suspicions, but he wants to meet you and decide for himself.

“We do have a number of potential surrogates with promising Quirks if you’re considering pursuing that option for your child,” the Doctor told them, smiling as they flipped through page after page of profiles.

Hisako, 35, Quirk: Sun-flare

Nozumi, 26, Quirk: Mimic

Koharu, 28, Quirk: Seismic Wave

Chiyoko, 33, Quirk: Golden Whip

Yuzuki, 32, Quirk: Silencer

There’s dozens of them – which is more than he expected. 

Aizawa knew coming in that this wasn’t normally the process, that this agency catered specifically to Heroes – was recommended by the Hero commission – but it still feels strange, just browsing through pages upon pages of potential candidates to carry their baby. 

Was he supposed to be feeling some kind of emotion looking at these profiles? The women were all healthy, each of them attractive, in their own ways (nothing but the very best, the Doctor had reassured them with a smile). This woman, whoever they picked, she’d be carrying their baby, yes, but that was the extent of it. She wasn’t going to be a part of their lives beyond that, so what did it matter if she was nice or liked to cook or play tennis?

There were stats, of course. Their education and IQ’s and little snippets of history, but they were all impressive, otherwise they wouldn’t have been included. Were they supposed to choose based on their Quirk? One that might compliment his or Zashi’s? Quirks were troublesome things to begin with, and–

“Wait-wait, Shou, hold up,” Hizashi’s voice cut through his musings, long fingers wrapping around his wrist midway through turning the page. “Go back one.”

He does as he’s told, flicking the page back.

Y/N, 23, Quirk: N/A.

A lone eyebrow lifts. Quirkless, huh? A blank slate.

But that’s not what caught Hizashi’s eye.

“She’s kinda cute, don’tcha think, baby?”

It feels weirdly like a first date, nervous jitters and all – though he’d like to believe he’s better at suppressing that now then back when he was a teenager. Aizawa hasn’t bothered to shave, but his hair’s tied back in a loose bun and he’s pulled out a suit for the occasion – he’s even wearing a tie for fuck’s sake. Beside him, Hizashi’s ditched his usual leather jacket and ripped jeans for, well, nicer jeans and a button up floral shirt.

And then there’s you. Standing in the doorway of the cafe glancing around like a little lost lamb, he recognises you instantly from the picture on your profile, but the moment your eyes meet his he’s struck with the realisation that the picture didn’t truly do you justice.

Because you do look young (at least compared to their thirty odd years) and it might just be the hesitant smile adorning your face as you start to make your way over, or the charming little summer dress falling to your mid-thigh, swishing hypnotically with every step, but Shouta feels something catch in his chest the more he stares. You really are… what was the word ‘Zashi had used? Cute?

Yeah. You were cute. 

The agency had offered to host this little meetup at their clinic, and while he hadn’t particularly cared one way or the other, Hizashi’d been insistent. He’d wanted this to feel ‘natural’. 

‘I don’t really wanna meet our potential baby mama for the first time in some boring, sterile office, d’you?”

He’d only bitten back a sigh at the time, shaking his head. It wouldn’t have been worth upsetting him by reminding him that the girl was technically a glorified incubator. He had every intention of being involved in this process, but this initial meeting was to establish two things. Firstly, that after meeting them, you still felt comfortable with carrying their baby, and secondly, he wanted to make absolutely certain that you weren’t trying to get anything out of this.

Oh, he knew you were getting paid, handsomely, he’s sure, but the thought that you, or any of the women the agency had fobbed their way might not all be in this for altruistic reasons had crossed his mind. 

You were just so young.

But he was more than happy to determine those two things in a ten minute meeting at the agency. 

Hizashi was not, and so here they are. 

Ten minutes in, and he finds himself glad of his husband’s insistence. Hands wrapped around your mug of coffee (you should enjoy it while you can) you chatter away with Hizashi, beaming and blushing, tripping over your own words in your nervousness. 

You’re about as dangerous as a kitten, and he allows himself to relax enough in his seat to enjoy watching the blonde charm you. 

“So why don’t ya tell us a little about yourself, songbird?”

“There’s really not all that much to tell,” you say with a sheepish laugh, but they listen as you talk anyway. It’s nothing the profile hadn’t already told them, nothing spectacular that would make you stand out in the crowd. 

And yet, an hour and a half later, you’re trying in vain to distract him and Hizashi both so that you can slip your card in with the bill to pay for lunch, and Shouta finds himself oddly amused.

There were other candidates – ones with impressive Quirks, smarter than you, more accomplished than you, older than you–

“Ya sure you don’t want a lift, sweetheart? It’s no trouble.”

You smile again, demure little thing, and shake your head. “Oh no, really it’s okay. It’s not far and… I like the walk. Thank you, though.”

– but none nearly so endearing, he thinks. 

And when they watch you disappear into the crowd, one final wave thrown over your shoulder, Hizashi’s fingers lace with his once more.

“So she’s our baby mama, huh?

He’s silent for a moment. “I suppose so.”

—

The agency recommended, at least in the initial stages before the implantation procedure took place, that any communication between the three of you should go through them. 

Hizashi had your number programmed into his phone before you’d even left the cafe, and he’s been texting you every day since – to the point where it wasn’t unusual for Shouta to come downstairs and find Mic chuckling to himself, fingers dancing across the keyboard on his phone as he replies to whatever message you’ve sent. 

Shouta, for his part, tends to message only to check in.

How are you feeling? Any side effects from the meds?

Your response comes a little slower than usual, and it’s almost an hour before finally he receives it.

Sorry they’re cracking down on us using our phones at work :( 

Everything’s good so far! The doc said i should be on track for our appointment next week!

… is it weird that I’m a little excited haha?

His brow furrows at that. You hadn’t mentioned a job – at least not to him, he’d have to ask Hizashi later whether you'd said anything to him. 

Why on earth were you still working? He’d seen the contracts, he knew exactly how much you were getting paid for this little venture, wasn’t that enough to support you?

He makes a brief mental note to make sure that whatever job you were working at, you stopped long before the baby was due. You might just be a surrogate, but he’d be damned if his baby was put in jeopardy because you were needlessly exerting yourself. 

Nevertheless, his expression softens somewhat as he reads the second part of your message. You were excited, hm? 

Well, that made three of you.

Both he and Hizashi’d been willing to come along to the clinic with you – he’d even submitted a formal leave request to take the day off from UA, but the Doctor had assured him that it wasn’t necessary.

“The procedure is quick and relatively painless. She’ll be home within a few hours, and so long as she remains off her feet and doesn’t undertake any strenuous activity, she will be perfectly fine.”

It hadn’t sat particularly well with Hizashi who’d spent the afternoon huffing and complaining about the clinic trying to kick them both out of the process. That much, he expected – he understood it to an extent; the agency catered specifically to Heroes, most of their clientele probably had busy schedules (which was true in their case as well). There wasn’t a need for them to be present at such a minor procedure, even if it did hopefully mark the beginnings of your pregnancy. 

What he hadn’t expected was the twinge of discontent he felt settle in his own stomach. The Doc might’ve preferred they stay out of this, but at the end of the day he really didn’t give a shit what she or the agency wanted.

So he messaged you.

Do you want us there with you?

He watches those three little dots bounce for almost a solid minute before finally your reply comes through.

No, it’s okay, you don’t have to come. The Doc said it wouldn’t take long and I don’t wanna be a burden for you guys

It’s not really an answer to his question, and he briefly wonders if Hizashi might be right about the agency interfering, but he’s not going to fight you on it. 

At least, that’s his plan until Principal Nezu pulls him aside at the end of a staff meeting and tells him that he’s found somebody to cover his classes tomorrow if he still wants the day off. 

“Ya gotta go, babe. One of us should be there for our ‘lil mama.”

He asks you what time your appointment is and there’s a surprisingly pleasant fluttering in his stomach when you walk through the clinic doors and catch sight of him sitting in the waiting room.

It’s a momentary surprise – you almost do a double take, but a smile lights your face and you ignore the receptionist in favour of racing towards him. 

“Shouta, I thought you weren’t coming!” Your arms wrap around his middle, squeezing tightly.

He finds himself returning your hug – albeit somewhat stiffly – but he’s glad he made the decision to come. The Doctor wasn’t wrong, you’re only in with her for just under twenty minutes, and when you come out there’s a tremble in your legs, but you seem otherwise fine.

It goes without saying that he’s driving you home, though you try once again to beg him off.

Kitten, when are you gonna learn that so long as you’re carrying his and ‘Zashi’s child, they’re going to go out of their way to make things easier for you – whether you want them to or not.

Yet your quiet discomfort on the drive home doesn’t slip past his attention. Maybe it’s because he’s become accustomed to your nervous rambling, but there’s something odd about the way you’re sitting so quietly, fingers twisting in your lap as you stare out the window. He knows that if Hizashi was here, he’d be chatting your ear off, but he’s never been one to fill silence with unnecessary small talk.

Though he can’t exactly help the way his own mind drifts. Are you in pain? The Doc didn’t say anything about there being any pain, only that you should rest over the next few days, so it shouldn’t be that. Perhaps you’re just lost in your thoughts – it’s strange for them having a surrogate, he can only imagine what’s going through your own head now that it’s actually begun. He hopes that you aren’t having second thoughts, almost opens his mouth to ask before thinking better of it.

You’re entitled to your thoughts and feelings, whatever they may be, and if you wanted to talk to him about them, you would. 

It’s not until the scenery outside starts to change and the fancy sky-scrapers give way to dingy apartment blocks and dilapidated buildings, crammed in together too tightly that he realises that it’s not discomfort that’s written across your face, but embarrassment.

This was your neighbourhood?

Shouta recognises it, and really he should have picked up on it earlier when you’d given him the address – he’s spent more than a few nights patrolling the area. It’s a hotspot, not for the high-class, dangerous villains plastered across the news every night, but thieves and murderers. Petty thugs who prey on the weak, those addicted, with nowhere else to go… you live here?

Surely with the money you’re getting from the agency, and your job on top of that, you can afford a better neighbourhood.

He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, watches as you all but shrink into your seat, and when you speak, your voice is little more than a whisper.

“You can just drop me off at the corner here.”

He pulls the car to a stop by the curb, and for a moment neither of you speak. He doesn’t know what to say, and judging from the way you’re nibbling on your bottom lip and glancing up at him, you don’t either. 

“I–”

“Thank you,” you cut him off with a tight smile. “For coming today, and for… this. I-I really do appreciate it.” 

The words aren’t quite sincere, but he only nods – noting the miniscule sigh that escapes your lips at the action. “Of course. Anytime you need us, just call, okay.” He waits for you to nod before continuing, “Do as the Doc said, rest.”

You all but scamper from the car after saying another goodbye, though Shouta waits until you’ve disappeared into the crumbling apartment block before driving off.

Maybe the inside is nicer, but he sincerely doubts it.

—

“You should’ve seen it, ‘Zashi.” The two of them are curled up on the love-seat, half empty containers of takeout littering the coffee table in front of them. “I just can’t figure out why she’d be living somewhere like that.” 

The blonde frowns. He’d been messaging you throughout the afternoon, so he knew that the appointment had gone fine. It wasn’t that he expected to come home and find the erasure Hero jumping for joy, but the subtle discontent on Shouta’s face had been enough to make him pause. 

“You’re worried about our ‘lil songbird?” he asks, pushing away just enough so that he could turn to study his face. 

The short nod says plenty. Of course he is – even if you weren’t potentially carrying his child, you’re young, beautiful and far too innocent for your own good. In places like that, you were easy pickings, and you don’t even have a Quirk to protect yourself. His job requires him to assess his students’ strengths, their failings and weaknesses and their progress. He doesn’t need to see you in action to know that you wouldn’t be able to hold your own in a fight. 

It bothers him. 

“She’s not safe there.”

Hizashi hums, but instead of settling back against his husband’s side, he straightens up further. “Well, why don’t we go take a look-see, huh handsome? Make sure our sweet thing’s pad’s all safe ‘n sound, put your mind at ease. Whaddya say?”

As he stares into those imploring green eyes, Shouta knows that he should say no. 

Concerned or not, there’s still a line, privacy that should be respected. He’s tired and this is the only night that they both have off this week. Your place is almost twenty minutes from theirs, and it’s already late – almost midnight. The list goes on, there are a thousand reasons that he should say no.

“Fine. Just for tonight.”

—

Two weeks later, the two Heroes receive a call from the agency; the blood test came back positive – you’re pregnant. 

In the blink of an eye, at least to Shouta, this becomes startlingly real. You’re pregnant. They’re going to have a baby. Boy, girl, it doesn’t matter… You’re pregnant, and as his husband ends the call and yanks him by his collar into a fierce kiss, he realises how important this is.

How important you are, just by the virtue of carrying their baby.

They invite you over for dinner to celebrate, and while he’s never been one to flaunt the comfortable lifestyle he and Hizashi have, he does find it strangely pleasing to watch you wonder wide eyed through their apartment. He’d be the first to admit it’s big – bigger than they’d ever probably need, though with the baby on the way maybe they’ll finally be able to make use of all that extra space.

Mic grabs you by the hand, eagerly dragging you towards the nursery he’s already begun setting up. “Once I heard the good news, I just couldn’t wait to get started! Our little rockstar’s gonna have the sweetest crib, don’tcha think? Ain’t it amazing?” 

He’s already started painting and there’s a wooden cot halfway assembled and the beginnings of a musical mobile pushed off to the side waiting for him to return to it. It’s hardly close to being finished, but you just grin, gazing at the mural he’s started on the walls. “It’s amazing,” you say.

“I knew ya’d like it!” he beams.

Shouta hangs back as Hizashi guides you through the rest of the apartment, chattering excitedly away. He likes seeing his husband happy, and somehow you manage to bring it out of him without even trying. It’s still early days but Shouta has to admit that already you’re more to him and Hizashi than he expected, or even anticipated. You fit well with them, seamlessly, as if you’d always been a part of their lives.

After dinner, they drive you home despite your protests, and Hizashi insists they walk you up to your apartment. You’re no doubt under the impression that they’re doing it to be gentlemanly, missing the shared looks between the two men as they pass the out of order elevator and tread down hallways with stained carpet and peeling wallpaper, ignoring the leering yellow eyes of your neighbour, peeking out from the crack in the doorway as they bid you goodnight, ‘Zashi squeezing you extra tight.

There’s an uncharacteristic hardness in his husband’s eyes as they both slip back into the car, “No way in hell are we lettin’ her stay here.”

On that at least, there’s no arguments from him.

—

Hizashi, unsurprisingly, is the one to bring it up.

The three of you are grabbing a bite to eat after your first ultrasound. This time, both of them had been insistent on being there, and he’s glad they were. Seeing that grainy image of their baby, hearing it’s heartbeat – strong and steady – had filled him with an emotion he’d never felt before.

It was happiness and excitement and wonder and awe all mixed up and wrapped into a gut punch that stole his breath away, and while Hizashi had burst into a loud fit of tears, burying his face in Shouta’s neck while reaching for your hand, he’d managed to keep his own at bay.

Mostly. 

Regardless, you have little choice but to indulge them when they drag you out to one of the blonde’s favourite restaurants – on the proviso that they had you home in time to get ready for work.

“Songbird, there’s something the two of us have been meanin’ to ask ya.”

You perk up a little, hastily swallowing down your mouthful of food so you can reply, “Oh?”

He wonders if you notice the way your hand already instinctively drifts to your stomach, your barely there baby bump. 

“Why’re ya livin’ in a place like that, sweetheart?” You freeze, the corners of your smile slipping, but Hizashi continues, “Ain’t the money from the agency enough? We know you’re working that other job as well… we just…”

Shouta can physically feel you tensing like a bunny caught in a trap, and he doesn’t know what possesses him to reach out, sliding a hand across the table as you pale, but you take it regardless. 

“Talk to us. Please,” he begs. “We just want to understand what’s going on. You have to realise that it’s not exactly a safe neighbourhood, and it’s not just you we have to worry about anymore.” Dark eyes flicker pointedly towards your stomach. 

It’s a dirty tactic, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the truth. Did you realise how much danger you were truly in? Not just from the common street thugs – though frankly he thinks it’s nothing short of a miracle that you’d managed to get this far unscathed – but any number of villains with a grudge against either one of them, or Heroes in general. If they found out a pretty, quirkless thing like you was carrying their baby, how long do you think it would take before they tracked you down and kicked through your door?

Your eyes flicker between the two of them, and you swallow shakily. “I-it’s…” you break off, taking a deep, steadying breath, “It’s all I can afford right now.”

“But, hun, what about–”

“I know,” you say. “The money for the surrogacy isn’t for me. It’s money I owe.”

Neither Hero speaks a word as you talk, telling them about your uncle, the man who raised you, how his business went under a few years back and you both lost almost everything.

Shouta isn’t surprised to find out that your uncle turned to loan sharks when the banks turned him away and threatened to take your house. Alarmed at the man’s blatant stupidity, yes, but not surprised. Your eyes start to water when you tell them about how he died a few months back – a hit and run –  and the visit you were paid only a week later, informing you that your uncle’s debts were now yours, and payment had better come through quick. 

Your hand’s trembling in his by the time you finish. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t have any options, I didn’t know how else to get the money, and they said that i-if I didn’t pay up, they-they’d–” a sob catches you unawares, and once again it’s Hizashi who’s out of his seat and at your side in a heartbeat, sliding into the booth beside you, pulling you into a one armed embrace. 

It’s his eyes that you meet, and Shouta understands. He doesn’t need you to explain what threats were made. You were scared, terrified probably, and you had every right to be. 

“I didn’t know what else to do,” you sniffle. “I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Really, he should be furious. Disappointed at the very least. 

“Move in with us,” he says instead, ignoring your sudden, startled intake of breath. “At least until the baby comes.”

He should be, but this works better.

—

It takes a little longer than he’d like to convince you, but the two of them wear you down and a few weeks later Shouta finds himself carting boxes of your things up into the spare room in their apartment.

Despite the fact that you’re pregnant with their baby, you’re terrified of being a burden to the two Heroes, but it’s because of the baby that you eventually relent.

They want to be close, involved. They want to know that you’re safe – and their apartment’s state of the art security system will make sure of that when they’re not home with you. They want to make sure that you’re not exerting yourself, that you’re eating the right things and not running yourself ragged at a job you don’t need, stressing yourself out needlessly and putting the baby at risk.

All of that’s true. 

It’s just not the entire reason. 

At first, he convinces himself that it’s for Hizashi, as well as his own peace of mind, but he’s starting to wonder if that’s the full truth of it. Because of course he wants to keep a close eye on the pregnancy – he knows that this can’t be easy on you. You have no family left, and if you have any friends then they’ve done an excellent job of keeping you at arm's length. 

You have nobody but them, and it does bring him some modicum of peace to know that you’re just down the hall if anything goes wrong. 

Hizashi adores having you there with them, having somebody else to cook for, somebody to come home to at the end of a long day. More than a few times, they’ve both returned from a night of patrolling to find you curled up on the couch, fast asleep with a blanket over your legs and a book slipping from your fingers, having tried, and failed, to wait up from them.

You tune into Mic’s radio show on the nights you can’t sleep, and on the odd mornings that you wake up before either of them, they come downstairs to find bacon sizzling away in the pan, a pot of coffee already brewing. There’s something oddly charming about the way you pout while you pour it for them, knowing you can’t have any yourself.

“You’re a special kind of masochist, ya know?” Hizashi teases, sidling up beside you to grab a cup.

You sigh dejectedly. “I must be,” you reply as he plants a kiss on your cheek and squeezes your side affectionately, but it’s impossible to miss the sparkle in your eyes. You’re happy here, with them. 

Shouta warns you from pushing yourself too much, but even he can notice the apartment’s tidier when they arrive home than when they left, the freshly baked goods sitting on the countertop that weren’t there yesterday.

“I just… I know I can’t pay you back for all of this, I just wanna make myself useful,” you tell him one night when he asks about it. “I still feel like I’m taking advantage of the both of you, staying here…”

“You’re carrying our baby, that’s enough,” he reminds you, his calm, steady voice brooking no disagreement. And yet, as dark eyes study your face, he can tell that it’s not enough for you, so he sighs, and in a quiet voice adds, “We like having you here.”

He likes having you there. Sitting at the dining room table, helping him grade papers, lounging around on their rare days off together – helping Mic set up the nursery, volunteering to go shopping with them for baby stuff. He’s lost count of how many pregnancy books you’ve bought, pouring over them with a fine tooth comb late at night – often falling asleep in the process, leaving him and Hizashi to carry you off to bed with a barely there kiss to your forehead.

You fit between them in a way he hadn’t quite expected. Not a burden, not an interloper, but as if there was always a place carved out for you with them, and it’s only now that they realise that there was something missing to begin with. 

It doesn’t quite click until he finds his thoughts drifting towards you at work, his fingers drumming along the top of his desk so he can stop himself from reaching for his phone. He’s not usually so distracted teaching, and as the hours drag he finds himself glancing towards the clock on the wall, counting down the hours, minutes, until the day is done and they can return home to you.

Shouta can’t pretend for much longer that there isn’t something oddly satisfying watching your belly grow and your breasts swell as your pregnancy goes on. You’re glowing, and soft and beautiful, and he could kid himself and say that it’s just the normal effects of pregnancy, but there’s some part of him that’s strangely proud when your shirt rides up and he catches a glimpse of your baby bump – knowing it’s his child you’re carrying. His and ‘Zashi’s and yours.

And oh, he wishes that it was only pride that burns through his veins at the sight of you, barefoot and pregnant, pottering around the apartment. Hizashi’s the one to hold back your hair and rub your back soothingly when your morning sickness hits, but it’s Shouta who takes care of you when you start complaining about aching muscles and joints.

He tells himself that it’s purely about comfort, namely yours, ignoring the way you flush and stutter when he drags you up the stairs and pushes you gently towards the bed, telling you to lie down on your side. 

It’s just a massage, yet the moment his fingers run along your soft skin and a breathy moan slips from parted lips, the very last vestiges of the facade he’d built up in his head crumble into dust. 

You’re perfection. Bared and beautiful beneath him, making the prettiest noises for him as he works away at your muscles, expertly releasing all of your tension. He’s glad that your eyes are shut and you’re lost to the bliss, you don’t notice the way his breath hitches and becomes rough and heavy, the way his cock twitches in his sweats, blood flowing south as you arc into his touch. 

Such a responsive little thing, aren’t you?

“You’re amazing,” you moan, and though you can’t see that either, Shouta smirks. “Please never stop.”

It’s a good thing he has restraint, because it’s taking absolutely all of his to stop himself from taking more. 

He wants all of you. 

Wants to tease and taste.

Take.

Wants to hear those pretty fucking moans take the shape of his name… Hizashi’s name.

And maybe he might have felt guilty for those perverse thoughts, for the way he wants to tear the rest of your clothes off and fuck you nice and proper, breed you–

If his husband hadn't been standing by the door, watching the two of you for the last ten minutes. Shouta doesn’t need to look to know that it’s not anger or jealousy burning in his gaze.

He knows that his husband’s far from disgusted, knows it from the way Hizashi grabs his wrist on his way back down the hallway, pulling him instead to their bedroom and shoving him back onto the mattress with a wicked grin.

There’s something positively feral in the blonde’s expression as he hovers over him, forcing Shouta back down with a hand splayed across his chest, the other reaching down to his sweats to free his aching, needy cock.

“You’ve been holding out on me, baby,” he sings.

—

They have time.

Your due date is still months away, and you’re comfortable, here with them. 

There’s no reason for you to consider leaving until the baby’s born, and Shouta is adamant about keeping it that way. Hizashi can huff and puff and moan all he likes, he knows that they have to take this thing with you slowly. He won’t risk spooking you and losing any chance they have.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t empathise with the blonde, what with all the affectionate hugs and touches you thoughtlessly bestow, the way you’ll plonk yourself down on the couch between them so they can feel when the baby’s kicking.

Hizashi’s gotten to the stage where he’ll drop to his knees to shower your stomach in kisses when he gets home of an evening before sweeping you up into a hug of your own, his face a mask of perfect innocence when he catches sight of his husband’s less than impressed expression over your shoulder. 

Having you here with them, this little temporary faux family dynamic the three of you have found yourselves in is easy, domestic and nice. It should be enough, but it’s not.

“It’ll be weird, going home after this,” you hum absentmindedly one night.

Preoccupied with the noodles you’re toying with in your bowl, you miss the sharp look shared between both men.

“Whaddya mean, sweetheart?”

If you notice the odd stiffness to the words, you pay it no mind, simply shrugging. “I mean once the baby’s born. I dunno, I think I’ve become too comfortable here freeloading off of the two of you…” you glance up, smiling a little. “Going back to work and finding a place on my own again, starting fresh, it’ll be different, that’s all. Not bad different,” you hasten to clarify at the blonde’s nearly stricken face, “just… different.”

“Well it’s not like we’re gonna be forcing ya out, hun! You’re always welcome to jam with us for as long as you want.”

You shake your head with a rueful little laugh, “We both know I can’t do that. You’ll have the baby to worry about and the last thing I want is to feel like some awkward interloper, always getting in the way – especially after everything you guys have done for me.”

Hizashi’s fingers dig into the meat of his thigh, tightening with every word out of your mouth.

“No,” you say, shaking your head. “I’m not saying I’m never going to come around to hang out or anything, but once this baby comes I’m gonna have to figure out what I’m going to do with my life.” Your eyes meet his, wide and hopeful, and Shouta’s reminded once again of just how young you really are. “I can go anywhere, do anything. It’s kind of exciting, don't you think?”

It was a mistake, to think that you’d come around to them on your own. 

You were young and naive, still living out a rose tinted fantasy where the world was your oyster and all you needed to do was reach out and take it. And maybe he’s partially to blame for that, taking your problems and getting rid of them, making you feel safe and comfortable, not realising that that security didn’t extend outside of these four walls, outside of their protection.

They need you, but kitten did you ever stop to think that you need them, too? 

Shouta had made the mistake of forgetting how this all came to be – you hadn’t wanted a family, you were just trying to save your own skin. You still think that you can make it on your own, without them. 

He supposes he shouldn’t blame you for your misplaced idealism, it’s only natural after all. Some people just don’t know what’s best for them.

They need to be shown.

—

You don’t stir as your bedroom door swings open. 

Not as Hizashi pulls back your sheets, groaning softly at the sight of your swollen breasts and precious baby bump, stretching against the confines of your silk pajamas. “Ain’t she a fuckin’ dream, Shou?”

Not as the blonde busies himself in carefully sliding your sleep shorts down your legs, or even as Aizawa gathers up your wrists, pressing a kiss to each one, and binds them to the headboard with his capture weapon.

“Gentle, ‘Zashi,” he murmurs when the blonde crawls up on the bed beside you. “Nothing too rough.”

You wake as long fingers caress your cheek, tilting your face towards him so he can kiss you properly.

Shouta hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, but bathed under the soft glow of moonlight from your window, he watches your eyes flutter open, the momentary confusion that flashes across your face followed by realisation, horror, as you try to jerk back and cry out–

Only Hizashi doesn’t give you the opportunity, winding his hand through your tresses and anchoring you against him, forcing your lips open so that he can deepen the kiss and groaning appreciatively when a terrified whimper escapes you. 

You still haven’t noticed Shouta kneeling on the bed between your legs, too preoccupied by Hizashi’s tongue sliding against yours. “Relax, kitten,” he says, laying his palm on your thigh, letting his thumb glide over the smooth skin.

“Let us take care of our cute ‘lil baby mama, yeah songbird?” Hizashi adds, breaking away from the kiss with a lovesick grin.

Tonight is solely about you. Your pleasure, whether they have to tease it from you willingly or not.

Your tears are kissed away, your broken little pleas swallowed under ‘Zashi’s greedy lips as Shouta shuffles down the bed, nudging your thighs further apart so he can lie between them.

The keening cry that leaves you at the first stroke of his tongue against your warm sex is a thing of beauty.

Blood rushes to his cock as you writhe, and he tightens his grip as much as he dares to keep you locked in place as he delves in again. There’s little finesse to the way that Shouta eats your pussy – it’s a simple study of reactions; the way you gasp and shudder when the tip of his tongue circles your clit, the way your pussy clench and quiver around the muscle when he eases it inside of you, massaging your spongy walls.

Never one to be left out, Hizashi decides that there’s a better use of his attention than just your lips. With your arms bound, he’s not able to take your top off entirely so he settles with yanking it down, freeing your breasts.

“Fuck baby, you’re so pretty. Look atcha!”

Your tits must be tender and aching, because the moment Hizashi’s mouth envelops one of your nipples, sucking at the pert nub, a fresh sob bursts from your lungs and you’re trying desperately to wriggle away.

Hizashi just frowns, breaking away for a second to brush a stray lock of hair back behind your ear, “Ah shit, sorry babe! I’ll be gentle, promise.”

Shouta’s far too preoccupied by the intoxicating taste of your sweet cunt to notice whether he actually does or not, but he trusts him not to push you too far. There’ll be plenty of time for that later.

Your baby bump is cute and all, but Shouta wishes that it wasn’t blocking his view of your face – he wants to watch every little expression as he slides two thick fingers into your dripping cunt and your hips buck up to meet him. It’s a twisted kind of pride he feels, pride fused with filthy, maddening pleasure as he pulls a string of choked moans from you with just a few shallow thrusts of his fingers.

His jaw’s slicked with your juices, your cunt sucking his fingers deeper when he turns his attention back to your poor, neglected clit. He can tell that you’re close, not just from the needy whimpers and the way your muscles are tensing beneath him, but the desperate canting of your hips, rocking up against his face even as you beg for relief.

“Shouta, Shouta, please– oh god, please stop, p-please!”

He longs to wrap a fist around his throbbing cock, desperate to help relieve the burning ache deep in his gut as you cum for the first time on his tongue. Or better yet, maybe have Hizashi wrap that perfect mouth of his around his cock and suck him off–

But now’s not the time for him to be greedy. 

Rough fingertips prod at your walls, searching for that hidden little spot that’s gonna make you go wild–

You almost convulse when he finds it, and Shouta can’t help but smirk against your cunt as you tighten and quiver around his digits. With Hizashi playing with your tits, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses along your neck, Shouta’s lips wrapped around your clit, tongue flicking at the sensitive pearl as he suckles on it and long, thick fingers driving you to madness with each and every stroke, it’s too much for your poor, pregnant, oversensitive body to handle.

You cum with a strangled shriek, and Shouta almost moans at the flood of juices that gush from your trembling cunt onto his waiting tongue. 

“How’s she taste, baby?” Hizashi asks, green eyes blown wide, his own erection straining against his leather pants. 

Shouta doesn’t waste a beat, pushing himself up with one arm and grabbing his husband’s wrist with the other, yanking him into a fierce kiss – letting him taste your honeyed juices on his tongue.

Fingers tangle in dark locks, tugging him closer, and ‘Zashi lets out a low, throaty groan. It’s rough and eager, a slow burning frenzy that makes the blood in his veins sing with excitement. With their lips still locked, the blonde hastily yanks at the zipper on his pants, freeing the painfully hard member with a tight hiss. 

But when he finally does break for air, it’s not Shouta that he addresses, but you, lying spent, crying and breathless between them, beautiful in your fucked out state.

“You can’t expect to put on a show like that and not get me all worked up, sweet thing,” he coos, taking his flushed, throbbing cock in hand and giving it a few slow, cursory pumps. “I’m gonna fuck ya so good, baby – have you singin’ like a little birdie for me,” his eyes meet Shouta’s, a wicked smirk tugging at his lips. “Nothin’ but the best for our cute ‘lil wife. Whaddya say, songbird? Lemme make you feel all nice and special, yeah?”

[theyanderespecialist]

Grell's Trans Man (Headcanons/Scenario) Yandere Grell X Trans Man Reader (Black Butler)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another chapter! This one is with Grell (Who is a trans woman in canon!) and she is yandere for you her trans man! Headcanons and Scenario! Let's do this! But first Disclaimer! 

(Disclaimer: Grell In Canon is a trans woman! Black Butler takes place in the past before surgery for bottom surgery was a thing! So Even though Grell and Reader do not have bodies that would match up with their true gender, they are still trans. Trans women are Women and Trans Men Are Men! Trans Rights Are Human Rights!

Disclaimer: Grell is not yandere in canon, but once again she IS A trans woman in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!)  

Please enjoy this chapter here, all of my sexy muffins!] 

-Yandere Headcanons With Yandere Grell X Trans Man (AFAB/FTM) Reader From Back Butler- 

.Grell is a man-loving woman and she is a bit boy-crazy. 

.You were socially transitioned, so you used a specially made and modified corset to bind your chest. 

.You also cut your hair to a shorter look and wear male clothing. 

.She falls obsessed with you, more than anyone else. 

.She was shocked that she realized you were like her but the opposite. 

.That you were born female or were a man. 

.She feels like you understand her in a way that no other person has. 

.She feels safe with you and she adores you. 

.She expresses how sexy you are and how she finds you to be so manly. 

.She is always making you feel like the man you are and always is comforting you when you need it. 

.Like when you are going through your period. 

.She is supportive of you and lets you hold onto her when the cramps are so strong. 

.She also lets you be the man in the relationship and loves when you are the gentleman opening the door for her. 

.And calling her, your lady~ 

.She adores you and is very protective of you and can become very jealous. 

.She hated when women would throw themselves at you, what harlots they were thinking that they had a chance with you. 

.She would have sex with you in many ways. With mainly you doing the bottoming from the top. Your guy's sex life is very unique in that you take control and be the one on top. But her cock would be inside your pussy. Still, you are the one to take control even though it is different parts for you guys. 

.She would not let you become pregnant, helping you make sure that you guys do not have sex when you are in your fertile time. 

.Also sometimes if she can find a way for you to have something to fuck her with. She would love you fully topping her~ 

.If people misgender you, she would not like it once, she would even kill humans with her death scythe, even though she is not supposed to. 

.No one insults her man. 

.She hopes that one day she could marry you and make you her husband, she imagines in a perfect world you would be her husband and she your wife. 

.So that is why her being your bride is one of her biggest dreams. 

.She would deal with rivals by scaring them off and killing them is she has to. 

.She would be the type of yandere that loves to shower you with affection and to make you feel so good. 

.She will help you feel like the man and for you to ravage her~ 

.She adores kissing you, like kissing you is even better than sex as it is so very intimate! 

.She can be a bit of a clingy yandere as well, she would not want to let you go and would love to snuggle in your big strong arms~ 

.She would confess to you with a well-written love letter where she expresses her love for you and shows you just how much she loves and adores you. 

.If you accept her love she is over the moon and cannot help but spin around and squeal with how happy she is. 

.If you did not accept her love she would be heartbroken and have her heart beak. 

.But she is not going to give up, she is the type of yandere that no matter how turned down she is not going to give up. 

.She will continue to love and adore you and show you were love to her final days! 

(Grell) (Her Super Touchy, Clingy, Obsessive Love~) 

(No One's POV) 

She loved you, loved you more than anyone else. She fell for you the moment she met you. She did not even know that you were born female. It did not matter to her, you were still the most stunning, handsome man to her. You are HER Stunning, handsome man! 

"(Name)!" She cries out when she sees you, she was on a job and was happy to see you, her stunning man. 

"Grell!" You cry out and smile at your girlfriend as she jumps down and pulls you into her arms. 

Her hands had even made a small grab at your ass~ She loved your tight ass~ 

"I am so glad to see you, you look even more handsome than usual~" She compliments you~  "Oh, thank you, and you look even more beautiful, my sweet lady~," You tell her and she blushes.  "Oh you are a sly sweet little devil~" She says. "So what are you doing out here?" She asks you. 

"Oh, my father wants me to meet ...someone." You say and look away, your father wanted you to meet a man, to have a suitor and a husband to stop all this silly gender nonsense, his words. 

"Oh, who is it?" She asks feeling a bit jealous as you seem to be keeping a little of info out from her. 

You sigh and look at her. "Grell, my father wants me to see Count Viktor. For a possible husband." You tell her making a face. 

Grell's face darkens. "Where is this man." She says. 

"Grell it does not matter who he is, I shall not accept his advances." You try to tell her but she grabs your chin. 

"You are my man, my future husband, and I will not let some man steal you from me. Now my sweet (Name). Tell me where he is." She orders you.  "Alright, he is down at the tea shop." You tell her and she nods your head kissing you deeply.  "I will deal with him, here go to the tailor and get a suit on me." She tells you, she was forgetting her mission and was going to make sure this man stayed away from you. 

You belonged to her, you were her future husband and she would not let any man, woman, or child have you. You are hers, and only hers. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

Grell’s Trans Man🏳‍⚧Yandere Grell X Trans Man Listener (AFAB/FTM) (Black Butler) 

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).