#“Anyway who wants to watch me do parkour?”

[writernotyetauthor]

My headcanon surrounding Latvia’s characterization through the little bits we get of him is that when he’s not Trapped In a Traumatic Place Away From Home he’s much less cowardly….however he also starts acting more his age which is: a fifteen year old boy (actual age and fanon interpretations aside). He’s confidently doing his work and being a responsible nation but his audacity to do things that require a maximum of two brain cells is tripled and his internal filter gets even worse XD.

Cue Lithuania and Estonia re-realizing how much of a little shit he actually is whenever they hang out outside of work. A lovable little shit, but a little shit none the less.

[wonderjanga]

How would Jason treat Marvel as a kid compared to after the resurrection?

Jason, when he was still Robin, would’ve had the biggest hero worship for Marvel, though he’d always be second to Diana. In fact, if Jason had to pick, Wonder Woman would’ve been his favorite female hero, and Captain Marvel would’ve been his favorite male hero. They’re both just… so cool.

So when Jason goes to the Watchtower with Bruce, the first person he seeks out is Wonder Woman, and then if she’s unavailable, he goes to Captain Marvel. Cause again, they’re so dang cool. Now, Ms. Woman is busy most of the time, but more often than not the Captain will hang out with him if he wants.

Marvel: “Oh, hey Robin #2!”

Robin!Jason: “Hi! Batman’s in a meeting.”

Marvel: “Wanna hang out then?”

Robin!Jason: “Yeah!”

And that’s how you’d catch little eleven year old Jason and big buff probably thirty year old Marvel chilling. If Dick’s uncle was Superman, Jason’s was Marvel.

The various activities they partook in included fighting in the training rooms:

Marvel: *flying nearby* “You can do it buddy!”

Robin!Jason: *parkouring to a hostage*

Marvel: “Watch out for the villain!”

Hologram Villain: *shoots him*

Robin!Jason: “ACK-” *gets hit with hologram bullets*

The simulation ended after that, and Jason was a little upset that he messed up, but Marvel gave him some ice cream and then they went to try again.

They would also watch stupid movies together:

Marvel and Robin!Jason: *watching Marley and Me*

Marvel: *bawling*

Robin!Jason: “It’s okay. It’s okay.” *giving him tissues*

Now, they actually didn’t meet again in battle… no no, see Billy has an interesting relationship with Ra’s Al Ghul. This is because a previous champion used to be friends with him. So Billy is also friends with Ra’s cause why not? See, Billy and Jason met again when Jason was walking down a hallway in the League of Assassin’s headquarters and Billy was also walking down that same hallway with Ra’s.

Jason: *head in the clouds*

Ra’s and Marvel: *talking*

Jason: *notices Cap and does a double take* “Wha- WHAT THE HELL??”

Marvel: *pauses and looks over to him* “Huh?”

*silence*

Marvel: “Wait… Robin #2?”

Jason was then dragged along with the two as Ra’s and Marvel started talking again. Meanwhile, Jason is absolutely dumb struck at the fact that, one, how is Marvel getting along so well with Ra’s, and two, how did he recognize him??

Ra’s, Jason, and Marvel: *all stop in the mess hall*

Ra’s: “I’ll leave you to it. Goodbye, Thavma.”

Marvel: “Bye!” *waves* “So, Robin, what are you doing here?”

Jason: “Don’t call me Robin anymore- also what are YOU doing here??”

Marvel: “I’m Ra’s friend.”

Jason: “How????”

Marvel: “What do you mean how?”

Jason: “I mean HOW. Look at you.”

Marvel: “What’s that mean?”

Jason: “Buddy, you’re sunshine, okay? Who would ever conceive the notion that you and Ra’s are friends?”

Marvel: “I’ll have you know that I’ve known him for hundreds of years. We’re like this” *crosses fingers (🤞)* “You got that?”

Jason: “No. I do not got that.”

Jason was a little surprised Cap was treating him the same as he would before his death, especially considering that the hero now knows that Jason is affiliated with assassins. Jason then remembered that the hero in question is also affiliated with assassins so… yeah. Anyways, he had some (a lot) of questions.

Jason: “You know, you don’t see all that surprised that I came back to life.”

Marvel: “You died??”

Jason: “Yes??”

Marvel: “Oh. I just thought you stop being Robin and just became a normal kid.”

Jason: “Wha- NO??”

Marvel: “Yeah, I probably should’ve picked up on that. But even if I didn’t know you died it’s not exactly an uncommon occurrence for people to come back to life.”

Jason: “You make it sound like it happens all the time.”

Marvel: “It does in Fawcett.” *shrugs* “We have insurance there for zombies in case they crawl out of their graves so coffins can be reimbursed.”

Jason: “I… I forgot you came from Crazyville.”

Marvel: “It may be Crazyville, but that won’t stop it from being home.”

Anyways, fast forward about a year, and Jason is back in Gotham and pissed at everyone and everything. That doesn’t stop them from hanging out.

Nightwing: *breaks into Jason’s safe house* “Jason, this needs to stop-”

Jason and Marvel: *turn to him, mid taco bite, watching WWE*

*silence*

Nightwing: “Captain Marvel??”

I actually already have a few posts of their interactions and even one of them before Jason died if you wanna read more of them together.

[hatsbuckets]

You know cuteness aggression? Okay I've got to post about this because auhsdfkjahdg

So. I think it is so funny that I get cuteness aggression with my military contract buddies who at this point are these like, six-foot guys who eat like bears and have the metabolism of a, well, 20 something year old man who's going into the military. And they all run laps around me when we work out. Could easily send my ass flying. They're attractive men, strong, capable, intelligent. I've seen them mad, and I've seen them goofing off. TLDR: big strong masculine guys, in my head, adorable little guys who just :)))

Anyway, that but with the 141. because they've all seen the HorrorsTM, but like they're adorbs. cod headcanons

Price: The kind of man who walks into a room and everyone straightens up—even ghosts. That voice alone could make a grown man confess to a crime he didn’t commit. He commands respect, strategy pouring off him in waves, like he’s always two steps ahead and already thinking five moves past that. But then he calls someone “son” or ruffles Soap’s hair with a fond grunt, and your heart does a stupid little backflip. He's got that small little smile that makes his nose scrunch and his eyes wrinkle. He looks like he gives warm, solid hugs that smell like tobacco and rain. He’s the kind of dangerous that comes with deep, quiet love. You see him smirk at a teammate’s dumb joke and suddenly your brain screams, “You’re too powerful. Too cute. Sit down. I need to wrap you in a blanket, squeeze that lovely waist, and make you tea before I scream.”

Ghost: Unsettling by default—calm in a way that is more threat than comfort. He moves like smoke and has the stare of a man who’s seen things (he has), a man who's crawled through hell and back to the light of day… he has this subtle, dry humor that sneaks up on you. You’ll catch him giving Soap the side-eye while sipping coffee like the long-suffering lieutenant that he is. He doesn’t ask if you’re okay, he just slides a protein bar into your hand and mutters something like “Didn’t eat today, did you?” in a way that makes your chest hurt. The mask doesn’t hide his warmth, it makes it more intense when it shows. You’ll be minding your business and he says something quietly caring and suddenly you’re thinking, “Oh my god, I’m going to tackle you. Bite you. I’m going to hug you so hard and bury my face so deep into your chest it counts as a threat.”

Gaz: Gaz is quiet competence and sharp eyes, the guy who notices everything and makes it look easy. He cares so deeply, wants it to be right. Wants to do good with a passion something fierce. Kills and moves and learns and fights. Protects. He’s got your back without asking, pulls you out of danger with a firm hand and a quick, “I’ve got you.” He fights like a soldier and jokes like a best friend, charming without trying and always ready to remind someone to hydrate. But then he grins, full and bright, like sunshine through storm clouds, and you’re left staring like an idiot. He calls you “mate” in that soft London accent and you consider violence, affectionate violence, because how dare he be so good at everything and sweet? You’d trust him with your life—and also want to flick the brim of his cap for making your chest feel all warm and weird.

Soap: Johnny is the walking embodiment of chaotic sunshine strapped to a rocket launcher. He’ll laugh mid-gunfight, throw out a bad pun after a breaching charge, and wink like he didn’t just take out a sniper two clicks out. He’s got that devil-may-care grin—but then he says something insightful that shows he’s been watching, listening, really caring, and it knocks you on your ass. You’ll watch this strong, agile, tactically trained man do a parkour move off a wall and immediately trip over his own shoelace, and all you can think is, “I will kiss your forehead and strangle you and tug on that stupid mohawk and squish your cheeks.” He is somehow every golden retriever in a tactical vest and you love him for it.

Anyway, okay byeeeeee

[cowboylikefaith]

with great power...

art donaldson spiderman! au x reader

summary: stanford has a masked superhero on the loose, and you're trying to crack down on his identity. little do you know, it's your boyfriend art.

warnings: cursing, injuries, reader highkey gets mugged, art is being mysterious af, reader is incredibly oblivious, sappy at the end sorry, not proofread

author's note: HI so this is actually my first time writing a fic ever... but this au idea has been absolutely rotting in my brain for the past week or so and i need to get it out. enjoy!!!!!!

╰🕸️ ₊✧ ﾟ❤️⚬𓂂➢

"dude!" you say barging into art's dorm (not realizing that your poor boyfriend was in the middle of a nap) "look at the topic the newspaper just assigned me. some shithead on campus is doing parkour in a scuba suit, people are calling him 'spiderman'."

art is pulled out of his trance-like state when he hears the name fall out of your mouth. you feel bad after realizing you woke him up, seeing him wipe his tired eyes with a pout on his lips. "hey pretty" he says with a lopsided smirk on his face "what were you talking about? some spider-idiot?" you hop into bed next to him "yeah it's nothing...sorry for waking you up, just go back to bed, 'kay?"

you don't know what's been up with art recently. he rarely returns your calls, he's always tired, and when he's awake, he's either in a rush or incredibly sluggish. you asked patrick about it and he said that the beginning of a new tennis season is wearing both of them down. seems reasonable, right?

now, it's been a few weeks since you were assigned this story, and jess (your senior editor) wants you to photograph and interview this spiderman guy, because apparently he's some kind of campus superhero (returning stolen laptops, helping drunk sorority girls avoid getting hit by cars, the usual) however you have no leads so far.

until one day, tashi tells you a story about how he saved a freshman from the tennis team from being hazed, and you decide to ask your boyfriend about it.

"you don't know anything about a kid named steven mcdonald, do you?" you ask art as you settle down to watch some gossip girl.

"that freshman who survived a hazing incident? yeah, i know of him" he replies as he pulls you into his arms and kisses your forehead.

you pull away with furrowed eyebrows "well did he...say...anything about that night?"

"uh no. no, not really" he says (a little distantly) "anyway! i seriously don't understand why serena loves dan so much, nate is obviously the better choice for her."

you roll your eyes sarcastically "wow donaldson...really smooth transition! way to change the subject there honey."

"i'm sorry.." he replies as he plays with your hair "it's just that...i don't want you getting mixed up in that kind of stuff. if you got hurt.." he sighs "i don't know what i'd do with myself"

and so you promise art that you'll stop working on the article...until jess says she'll kick you out of the stanford star if you do.

one night, as you're walking back to your dorm after dinner with tashi and patrick (third wheel much?), a man in a black ski mask suddenly approaches you and orders you to put your hands up.

"give me your fucking heels lady...and your purse!" he demands.

"oh god no" you shut your eyes and groan "please sir, these are really expensive and- and these are manolo blahniks!! my mom bought-"

before you can finish your rambling, you can hear a thud, and when open your eyes, you can see that he's been wrapped up in some web-like substance.

"don't worry, he's not dead" a figure says as he walks out from behind the criminal. you feel like you know him, you can't even see his face but something about him is just so familiar, and you can't put your finger on it. until..

oh my god

"oh my god! you're spiderman! thank you so much, seriously. that guy could've killed me" you say excitedly, forgetting about your past opinions about him.

art- i mean spiderman, chuckles and says that it's no problem, and asks if he could take you back to your dorm.

"yeah! i would love that, thank you." you reply "actually, could i take your photo? i'm doing an article about you for the stanford star." oh and art eats it UP. he's doing stupid poses and acting silly and goofy (just to hear you laugh of course).

you get back to your dorm safely, and spiderart bids you farewell. just before he leaps out your window, he pulls a red stanford cap (one that you've never noticed, and one that looks suspiciously like art's) out of his pocket.

"hey, maybe i'll see you around" he says as he puts the cap on...backwards. something that only art would do. lucky enough for him, you're too tired to notice.

"...and those are the differences between meiosis and mitosis." you're trying to study for another biology exam when all of a sudden you hear a tapping noise on your window.

at first you think it's a bird, or some frat boy trying to piss you off by throwing empty beer cans at your window, but the tapping turns into banging and you start to hear sounds of pain through the glass.

you run to the window and see a boy in a familiar red and blue suit sitting on the windowsill. this time with a huge gash in his side.

"spiderman? oh my god, get inside, what happened?" you ask while scrambling for a first aid kit. art falls onto your bed, unknowingly bleeding all over your new floral sheets. he groans and holds his side, mumbling something about...well god knows what.

art protests as you try to patch up the very open wound by his waist. "you're just like my boyfriend art," you say with a grin "he gets all fucked up during his tennis matches and doesn't let me help him out." you can hear him through the mask but you can't tell if it's a laugh or a whimper.

"jesus- how long is this going to take? i have an econ final to study for" he says with a wince. "not very long if you sit still, spiderboy" you retort "why don't you take off your mask? you must be dying with that thing on."

you feel his face, and it feels...familiar. you slowly take off the mask, and reveal art's lips, sculpted nose, blue and brown eyes, and tousled blonde hair.

suddenly you realize. you realize the reasons for the missed calls, hurried kisses, and rain-checked dates. all this time you've been thinking that it was tennis kicking his ass, when really art was kicking other people's.

"hi honey" art mumbles, same lopsided, boyish smile that you fell in love with gracing his face "i'm sorry. i should have told you." before you can say anything, he kisses you and sneaks his hands to the small of your back. you can feel him smiling into the kiss as he pulls you into his lap.

"i missed you" you say, pulling away with a pout. you card your hands through his blonde curls. "i know, i know, i'm sorry pretty girl, it's just that...i don't want you to worry about me." art replies, pushing your hair away from your face.

you flick his forehead. "you dumbass. of course i'm going to worry about you, whether you like it or not...because i like you. a lot. no matter what kind of freaky superpowers you have." art lets out a weak chuckle, then he kisses you like a man stuck in the desert for 40 days. you can feel him drawing small circles along your hips and caressing your thumb.

you pull away one last time. "now tell me spiderboy...how did you go from tennis team captain to stanford superhero?"

[libraryofgage]

Harlequin Prince 5

Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two | Three | Four | Five (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two Scooby Gang One Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One | Two Queen Clarisse Renaldi One | Two | Three | Four Leverage Crew One

Today? I bring you a cliffhanger for Harley Quinn AU Steve. Tomorrow? Who knows, probably not much given my current rate of writing lmao

Anyway, have fun reading and if you see any typos, no you didn't <3

-----

“I want to be a Robin.”

The batcave goes near silent save the sound of Bruce choking on his coffee. He swallows it down, clears his throat, and carefully sets the coffee on the console in front of him. Then, he looks at Steve. “I think I misheard you,” he says, voice rough and cheeks still flushed from coughing.

“Make me a Robin.”

“Ah,” Bruce says, a frown tugging at his lips. “No.”

Steve blinks. He didn't think it would take much convincing, but maybe this is a test. He stands from the computer he'd been using to watch Tim and Damien patrol and walks over to Bruce. His computer is showing complicated schematics of a new Batmobile feature promising extra airbags and multiple first aid kits.

“Can I be a Robin?” Steve asks, thinking his approach might have been the issue. Bruce is constantly harping on him about etiquette, even though his mother says none of that really matters as long as he isn’t an asshole.

Bruce frowns deeper. ��It takes more than asking, Steve.”

“Isn't that what Tim did?”

“Tim also managed to figure out my secret identity with almost no clues.”

“So, he can solve a puzzle. So can I.”

“You're missing the point, Steve.”

“I can do gymnastics, I know Gotham like the back of my hand, I'm not scared of getting hurt, and I want to stop bad guys. Hell, I've even got daddy issues, if that's a requirement!”

Even though Bruce is looking up at him, literally shorter because he's still sitting, his gaze makes Steve feel small. It’s not fair, the way he makes Steve fight the urge to find a blanket to hide under. He doesn't feel seen, exactly, but he feels studied. Bruce is practically wearing a lab coat and taking notes with the way his head tilts.

“What's this about?” Bruce finally asks, his voice soft and patient and that's somehow worse. He has experience with this. Bruce has a whole gaggle of traumatized kids that he's managed to keep alive (sort of, mostly, kind of) to pull from.

Steve holds strong for three seconds before deflating. He leans against the console, carefully avoiding any buttons that could set off missiles laced with kryptonite. He's seen Duke do that before; he'd rather not repeat the incident. “I just….I need to be good.”

“You're already good.”

“I'm not good enough!” Steve shouts, grimacing as his voice echoes through the cave. He takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “I think…I think I know who my dad is. And I just…I never want to be like him. I need to be good and make Mom proud and keep her safe. Isn't that what being a Robin is about? Keeping people safe? Please, Uncle Bruce, just let me try.”

A few beats of tense silence pass. Steve almost starts to think Bruce is going to reject him again when he says, “I understand.”

“You do?”

“I do,” Bruce says, nodding as he stands. He gestures for Steve to follow him as he walks deeper into the cave. Steve hurries after, practically stepping on the man's heels. “I can't promise you'll be a Robin, but you can at least start training like one.”

“What kind of training?”

“Combat, first aid, crisis management, parkour, and a weapon of choice.”

Steve mulls this over for a second, considering what lies ahead. “And I'll be good if I do this?” he asks.

A warm hand on his shoulder stops Steve in his tracks. He looks up to find Bruce staring down at him. “You're already good, Steve. Being good is about showing people you care. Saving them is one way, sure, but you could also just take care of them. Make breakfast, wash the dishes without being asked, always have their favorite snack on hand. Learn what makes people happy and do that. It's the small stuff that really counts.”

“Not the big stuff?”

“Sure, a big gesture once in a while is nice, but it doesn't add up the same. Small things show you listen and remember. That's all people really want, and that's all that being good is about.”

Steve chews on the inside of his cheek, thinking about how relieved and happy his mother looked the one time he did the dishes without being asked. “This doesn't sound like the kinda advice you would give,” he finally says.

“It shouldn’t,” Bruce says, “I learned it from my father, and he learned it from Alfred.”

Yeah, that makes much more sense.

-------

“Hey, I know we're already, like, here and all, but don't you think going inside the abandoned lab for supposed evil is a pretty dangerous idea?”

Steve glances at Robin, taking in her frown as she stares at the building in front of them. “I've been in, like, eight of these before,” he says, flashing a grin when she looks at him. “Don't worry, we’ll be fine.”

“Unless it's funnier if we're not,” Robin mutters. 

Her words make Steve grimace, because he knows exactly what's going to happen now. She's set the scene. Robin has pointed out the gun on the mantle, and now it's going to go off. Because the universe loves a cruel joke every once in a while.

“We’ll be fine,” Eddie says, unaware that he’s hammering nails into their coffin with each word. “We’re just here to explore, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, flashing a grin before leading their doomed group into the abandoned lab.

The inside is dusty and chaotic. Furniture is turned over, potted plants are spilling dirt across the floors, and there’s a large stain on the floor that Steve immediately recognizes as blood. Based on the shade, he’d clock the stain as three weeks old. One of the doors across the room is hanging on by a single hinge, leaning dangerously to the side and rendering the ID scanner by it pointless. 

“I thought they just ran out of funding,” Robin says, shifting closer to Steve to avoid stepping on the blood stain. She grabs the edge of his shirt as they slip through, careful to avoid disturbing the door.

“I heard they accidentally blew up the basement,” Eddie says, his voice low and conspiratorial like they’re sharing secrets at a sleepover. He leans even closer, hand on Steve’s shoulder for balance. “Some of the baseball team were around the night it happened. They heard explosions and screaming, something like a monster wailing through the trees. Maybe it’s still here, waiting for its next meal.”

Robin glares at him. “Don’t be such an asshole, Munson.”

“Well, he’s probably right about the monster thing,” Steve says.

“Wait, you were serious about that?” Robin asks.

Steve pauses. “You thought I wasn’t?” he asks in return.

“I mean, yeah? Hawkins has seen some weird shit recently, sure, but monsters are a little unbelievable.”

“He’s literally from Gotham,” Eddie says, gesturing at Steve. “Like, Gotham Gotham. Of Batman fame. They’ve got Poison Ivy and The Riddler and King Shark, sometimes, I think.”

“He’s in the Pacific right now,” Steve says, vaguely remembering the last postcard he got from King Shark about running into an ex on some island getaway. 

“That’s Gotham,” Robin says, “Hawkins doesn’t have shit like that. We just have kids that disappear and malls that explode sometimes.”

“Your mall exploded?”

“Yeah, they said it was a busted gas pipe or something.”

Well, that sounds suspicious. Steve is just about to say as much when Eddie nudges him and points out an elevator. “Think it works?” he asks.

“This whole building has been cut off from the grid for nearly two years. Why the fuck would the elevator work?” Robin asks.

Steve considers this for a moment before grinning and leading them closer. “I mean, it’d be pretty funny if it did, don’t you think?” he asks, looking at both of them as he presses the button.

A resounding ding echoes around them, followed by the whir of cables pulling the elevator. Eddie and Robin stare as it comes to a stop and the doors open. Steve takes a step inside, inspecting for safety. The light is flickering inside and glass covers the floor, but the elevator is otherwise intact. Steve kicks the glass aside and gestures for Eddie and Robin to join him.

The doors slide shut after them, and Steve looks over the buttons before choosing the one for the basement. Tinny, garbled elevator music begins to play as it jolts and starts to descend. “So, uh, speaking of Gotham,” Robin says, fingers tapping against the side of her thigh, “what’s that place like?”

“It’s just a city,” Steve replies, shrugging.

“But have you seen Batman? Oh, what about Harley Quinn?” Eddie asks.

“I’ve heard she’s twelve pounds of crazy in a three pound bag,” Robin says, grinning widely, “And she’s hot.”

Steve grimaces, trying desperately to erase from his brain the connection between his mother and the word “hot.” He knows she’s pretty, of course, but that’s still his mom. He’d rather hear someone say Bruce Wayne is a total knock-out than his mother.

“Bruce Wayne is pretty fucking smoking, too,” Eddie says, waggling his eyebrows like that will suddenly turn Robin straight long enough to agree with his assessment. 

When Steve tries to think about Bruce in that context, all his mind can offer is Bruce hunched over, squinting at a computer screen, three days without a shower, and running solely on coffee and protein bars. 

Smoking, though? Well, Steve has seen Bruce on fire more than once, so it’s with complete confidence that he says, “He smolders, too, sometimes.”

“Ugh, gross,” Robin mutters, rolling her eyes as the elevator comes to a jolting stop. 

The doors screech as they open, making Eddie and Robin wince. Steve just frowns, taking a step forward so he’s the first thing that can be seen from the other side.

The hallway ahead of them has a few flickering lights and a dim red glow at the end, but it’s dark otherwise. Vines creep along the walls, crowding around the elevator, overlapping and competing for space. Something is dripping in the distance, and the smell of petrichor is wrong.

Steve knows what petrichor is supposed to smell like, especially in the presence of plants. It’s earthy and almost clinging. It lingers like mist after the rain. It hugs the streets and people of Gotham like it’s scared something will happen if it goes away.

This, though? This petrichor is overwhelming. It invades and smothers and nearly chokes. It puts Steve on edge.

“What are we waiting for?” Robin asks, peeking around Steve.

He holds an arm out, blocking her path. “Stay behind me,” he says, the sudden seriousness in his tone enough to make both of them listen without questioning. 

Steve walks down the hall carefully, studying the ground to make sure he doesn’t accidentally tread on any vines. Their footsteps echo with the drip, but nothing else can be heard. “This is kinda creepy,” Eddie whispers, shuffling behind Steve until he’s close enough for Steve to feel the heat from his body.

“Yeah, no shit, Munson,” Robin whispers back. “Also, why are we whispering?”

“Seems like the kinda place you whisper.”

They reach the end of the hall before Robin can respond. Steve motions for both of them to be quiet as he sticks close to the wall and looks around the corner. 

The vines are thicker at the dead end of the new hall. They all shoot out from a large opening in the wall, clinging to brick as they grow. That dim glow is coming from the opening itself. Whatever it leads to, a thick fog fills the space between it and the hall. The red dances across the walls and floors, the vines creating shadows large and small. 

Steve narrows his eyes. When he looks close enough, he can see the glint of metal just under the vines around the opening. He traces the brief glints of metal until he lands on what must be a switch in the wall. It, too, is flickering gently, a nearly-imperceptible green drowned under vines and darkness.

“What are we looking at?” Robin whispers.

“A portal,” Eddie replies.

“One we can close,” Steve adds, gesturing to the switch and pointing out the metal beneath the vines. “Whatever they were looking for, they had the sense to make something they could close. We hit that button, the door closes, and we go get pizza.”

“I don’t know if you noticed,” Robin says, “but those vines are in the way.”

“We just need to cut them.”

“Oh, and I suppose you carry a fucking sword around for just this occasion?” Robin hisses.

With such a perfect set up, how could Steve not follow through?

He grins brightly, places a hand on his hip like he’s grabbing the hilt of a sword, and fluidly pulls one out of nowhere. It’s black and red, covered in clubs and spades like one of his mom’s old costumes. With a glance, he can tell it’s a broadsword, huge and unwieldy but perfect for cutting through thick vines.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Robin asks.

“You’re the one who made it possible,” Steve tells her, shrugging as he steps around the corner. “Wait here.”

As he walks away, he barely hears Eddie mutter under his breath about boys with impossible swords. A smile tugs at Steve’s lips, and he twirls the broadsword in his hand just to show off. It’s not nearly as heavy as it looks, but that’s only because he thinks it’s funnier that way. 

A faint humming starts to sound in his ears as he nears the portal. He studies it carefully, adjusts his grip on the hilt of his sword, and slashes through the vines at the bottom. A pained screech echoes through the hallway, and he hears Robin and Eddie yelp.

Steve tenses, waiting for something to attack, but nothing does. He chances a look over his shoulder to see Eddie and Robin catching their breaths. “You okay?” he calls.

“That scared the shit outta us,” Eddie says, placing a hand on Robin’s shoulder and wheezing just to be dramatic.

With a nod, Steve turns back to the vines. He swings his sword again. The vines screech again.

And so it continues for ten minutes as Steve hacks and slices and saws away the vines stretching from the portal. The entire time, he keeps an ear open for any other sounds. Any step, any growl, any shift that doesn’t come from Robin and Eddie, and he’ll turn around swinging.

Nothing happens, though. He clears away the vines, including the ones covering the switch, and takes one last look around before slamming his hand against the thing. Like a rope has snapped, the metal door comes crashing down, cutting off the portal and the little bit of steady light that had been illuminating the hallway.

“Huh, that was easier than I thought,” Robin says, hands on her hips like she’s almost disappointed.

“Yeah, no kidding. I was expecting more, you know, danger,” Eddie adds.

Steve, because he can feel the universe turning and twisting around to get a good look at the show, braces himself. He takes a deep breath before saying, “See, I told you we’d be just fine.”

He was the last to speak on purpose, because then the universe will target him, and he can bounce back from anything. Hopefully, the searing pain of something lancing straight through his stomach is included in that anything. 

Steve hears Eddie and Robin scream as he looks down, a clawed, monstrous hand sticking out of him just below his sternum. A monstrous scream drowns out his friends, making his ears ring as putrid air rolls over him. 

It hurts. Of course it fucking hurts, but adrenaline is rushing through Steve like never before. It keeps him standing long enough to twist around to see the monster currently feeling up his insides without permission. It looks like a person-shaped version of those demodogs from a few days ago, tall and gangly and utterly inhuman.

The thing starts to pull its arm out, raising the other at the same time. Instinct and the voice of Alfred telling him that he should never remove what impales him has Steve swinging his sword around. It cuts through the monster’s forearm, allowing Steve to jerk a few steps away and spin around. 

“RUN!” Eddie shouts, the only word Steve can process before the monster shrieks again. 

It charges at Steve, blood dripping from its stump. Steve takes a moment to spit out his own blood that’s been pooling behind his teeth. He adjusts his grip on the sword, crouching slightly to brace himself. When the monster is close enough, Steve swings the sword in a large arch, swiftly cutting the monster in two across its torso.

He quickly retreats as the monster freezes. A second passes before its top half slides to the ground and the bottom half falls forward. Silence echoes, broken by Steve dropping his sword on the ground and coughing.

The world is spinning, black spots dancing along the edges of his vision as he turns to Eddie and Robin. They’re both staring at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths. “I bet someone found that hilarious,” he wheezes before his knees give out.

He’s barely hit the floor when he feels arms wrap around him. Frantic words fill the air above his head and panicked heartbeats echo in his ears. “Don’t worry,” he says, drawing in a painful breath. “I won’t die. Wouldn’t be funny.”

With that, Steve passes out, knowing his mother and Jason would appreciate his dramatics.

-------

Tag list (there's definitely still room, so please let me know if you'd like to be tagged!)

@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void, @dotdot-wierdlife

@midwestharpy,

@bxnghy,

@twilitdragoneye, @disrespectedgoatman, @lawrencebshoggoth, @gunsknivesandplaid, @sadisticaltarts

Anyway, me rn:

[dakusan]

M i n e .   S o f t l y .

SoftDom!Felix x Reader | velvet shadows, aching touches, and love laced with need

🩸synopsis: He comes back starved. Not for food. Not for sleep. For you. For the tilt of your chin when you tease. The slow curve of your smirk when you say no and mean make me. And you—You’ve been waiting too. So when the door clicks shut, it’s not a reunion. It’s a reckoning. His mouth is on your throat, his voice breaking as he begs to taste you again. He falls to his knees like he was meant to. And when he finally sinks into you—bare, breathless, trembling—he forgets everything but the sound you make when you take him whole. This isn’t about release. It’s about ownership. He doesn’t want you undone. He wants you ruined.

💌a/n: this entire piece exists because @juskz whispered the filthiest little idea into my comment section. softDom!felix was supposed to be gentle. reverent. calm. but then he said "mine" and i blacked out. also shoutout to my cat, who decided to reenact parkour olympics on my keyboard mid-thrust description. if there’s a misplaced comma, it’s because mittens decided that was the perfect moment to go feral. anyway. he wants to love you slow. and wreck you softer.

⚠️warnings: smut (MDNI), soft dom!felix, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink, overstimulation, possessive language, praise kink, cockwarming mention, crying kink (soft tears, soft hands), slight public tension, desperate reunion sex, post-tour hunger, emotional intimacy laced with filth, aftercare so tender it might undo you.

🎶now playing: “Heaven and Back” — Chase Atlantic

📍credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

SCENE 1: BACKSTAGE REUNION

Felix's ears were still ringing with the last notes of the encore, sweat clinging to his jaw as the stage lights finally dimmed. The crowd’s echo faded, replaced by the chaos of crew members shouting directions, mics being unclipped, and bottles being passed around. His heart was racing—not from the performance, but from something worse. Something far more dangerous.

You were here.

Felix had seen your name in the guest list. He’d reread the confirmation text three times before the show. He knew you were backstage. Somewhere in the sea of noise and bodies and adrenaline.

He hadn't touched you in months. Not properly. Not without the sterile distance of phone screens and choppy calls and late-night messages that always ended with "god, I wish you were here." And now, you were close enough to breathe in.

And the moment he spotted you—half-shadowed behind a tall speaker stack, tucked near the green room hallway—everything else fell away.

No more stage. No more staff. No more members.

Just you.

Standing there like a mirage in that little black dress he remembered peeling off of you the night before he left. It hugged you obscenely well, clinging to curves he hadn’t touched in weeks, months, forever. You weren’t doing anything—just waiting. But you knew. God, you knew what you were doing.

Felix’s chest tightened. His throat went dry.

"Don’t panic," he told himself. "Just walk over. Say hi. Be normal."

He wasn’t normal. He was starving.

And you looked like the only thing in the world that could satisfy him.

He moved toward you slowly, tension radiating off his body like static. He could feel the others watching him. Could hear Seungmin snickering behind him. Could sense Chan's judgmental dad-eyes activating in real time. But none of it mattered.

You looked up as he approached, lips curling into that sweet, devastating smile—the one that made his knees weak and his brain short-circuit.

“Hi, baby,” you said softly.

Softly. Like you weren’t already committing a felony by existing in that dress with that smirk.

His hands found your waist like instinct. Tight grip. Anchor-like. He didn’t care that he was still drenched in sweat. Didn’t care that his team was literally behind him. He crushed you against his chest and just held.

You smelled like home. Like everything he’d been missing.

“You look like you need CPR,” you teased, voice low, breath tickling the shell of his ear.

He shuddered.

And then you touched him. Light fingers, feathering over his collarbone, trailing down the center of his chest. Casual. Innocent. Calculated.

“You’ve been working out,” you mused, lips brushing his jaw. “Missed this. Missed you.”

Felix clenched his jaw. His grip on your waist tightened. He didn’t trust himself to speak.

“Baby,” you whispered, smile widening just slightly. “You’re kinda quiet.”

He forced himself to pull back half an inch, eyes locked on yours. Pupils blown, freckles flushed, sweat still glistening on his temples.

“Don’t,” he warned under his breath. “Not here. Not now.”

“Don’t what?” you tilted your head, all mock innocence. “I’m just saying hi.”

You weren’t. And he knew it. Knew you were playing with him. Testing the limits of his self-control while he was already so close to snapping. The months of longing, the nights of lonely hotel beds, the dozens of times he’d fucked his hand while whispering your name—you were undoing it all with a single, smug smile.

Jisung walked past, took one look at Felix’s face, and muttered, “Bro, you’re drooling.”

Chan sighed. “Felix. Contain it.”

He didn’t even blink. Just stared at you like you were made of fire and he was dying to burn.

“Five minutes,” he growled against your ear. “That’s all I need. Five minutes alone and I’ll have you moaning my name so loud the mics’ll pick it up.”

You laughed—light and breathy. And that was the moment Felix knew: you were trying to ruin him.

And it was working.

SCENE 2: THE CAR RIDE

They piled into the van like they always did—noisy, chaotic, post-show high still fizzing in the air—but Felix was quiet. Too quiet.

He sat next to you in the far backseat. That wasn’t unusual. What was unusual was the way he couldn’t seem to stop twitching.

His leg bounced, fingertips tapped an erratic rhythm against his thigh, jaw tight like he was clenching something back. Because he was.

You.

Your perfume was still driving him insane. Subtle but devastating. And the way your bare thigh brushed his every time the car hit a bump? He was going to spontaneously combust.

And you knew it.

You weren’t even trying to hide the way you leaned into him, voice soft and sweet as you asked, “Tired, baby?”

He nodded once.

Lied.

He was fucking wired. He was drowning in you and you weren’t even touching him yet.

“Oh.” You rested your hand on his leg. High up. Too high.

Felix froze.

Your thumb traced slow, innocent circles over the fabric of his pants. Completely normal. Completely devastating.

He let out a quiet, shaky breath. Tried to keep his gaze forward. Tried not to imagine you dropping your hand just a few inches lower.

But then you leaned in again, voice a whisper only he could hear:

“You’re being so good for me. Sitting so still.” “You miss the way I taste, Lix?”

He choked. Audibly.

Jisung, in the row ahead, turned around like a nosy older sibling. “You okay, bro? You sound like you swallowed a ghost.”

“I’m fine,” Felix muttered, voice strained.

Chan didn’t even look up from his phone. “No, he’s not. He’s vibrating.”

You didn’t move your hand. You tightened your grip, fingers subtly pressing into the meat of his thigh like a silent dare.

“God,” Felix whispered, half to himself.

Your lips grazed his ear again. “Think you can hold out ‘til we get home?”

He gritted his teeth.

“If you keep touching me like that,” he murmured darkly, “I’m gonna fuck you in the backseat.”

You laughed softly. “Not in front of the hyungs.”

“Then stop teasing me.”

But you didn’t. You just sat there, all soft smiles and bare skin, pretending like you were just another supportive girlfriend riding home with her boyfriend after tour.

Only you were a menace, and you knew exactly what you were doing.

Felix stared hard out the window, jaw clenched, pulse hammering.

You were going to ruin him.

And the second you got through that front door?

He was going to ruin you.

SCENE 3: THE DOOR SLAMMED

Felix kept it together. Barely.

He walked you to the door like a perfect gentleman, hand resting just above the curve of your hip, close but not too close. His lips brushed your temple as he said goodbye to the others—voice calm, steady, like he wasn’t imagining bending you over the kitchen counter the moment they were out of sight.

Jisung threw him a suspicious look as the elevator doors closed behind them. “Don’t break any furniture.”

“I’ll try,” Felix called back with a grin. Then, under his breath: “No promises.”

You didn’t say a word. Just slipped your fingers between his, leading him down the hallway toward your apartment like you hadn’t just spent the entire ride pressing on his thigh and whispering sin into his ear.

Felix was breathing through his nose. Counting the steps. Repeating mantras in his head like “Be good. Don’t fuck her against the wall. Yet.”

But then you looked back at him over your shoulder with that smirk, and all his restraint cracked.

You unlocked the door. Pushed it open.

And the second it clicked shut behind you—

He broke.

You gasped as your back hit the wall, hard but not painful, your hands scrambling for balance as Felix devoured you.

Mouth on your throat, tongue hot and desperate, hands already shoving your dress up around your hips. He groaned into your skin, voice low and ruined, “Couldn’t wait. Baby, I couldn’t fucking wait.”

His kisses were messy—sloppy, like he couldn’t decide where he needed to taste you first. Your lips, your neck, your jaw, down to your chest and back up again.

You tangled your fingers in his hair. “What happened to being a gentleman?”

He laughed against your collarbone, breath ragged. “That ended the second you sat in that car with no panties on.”

Your dress was already bunched around your waist. Felix dropped to his knees, groaning like he’d just come home after months in the desert and you were water. His hands gripped your thighs tight, spreading them apart as he muttered, “Missed this. Missed you.”

You braced against the wall, heartbeat spiking.

And then he licked.

One long, slow, deliberate stripe up your center, ending in a suck at your clit that made your knees buckle.

“Fuck—Lix—”

“You taste better than I remembered,” he panted, tongue diving back in, voice muffled against your skin. “You sound so pretty when you cry for me.”

Your head tipped back, a broken moan slipping out. He didn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop. Tongue lapping and sucking, switching between slow, cruel circles and fast, devastating flicks. His grip bruised into your thighs like he needed to hold you there—needed you to take everything he was giving.

You came hard, body shaking, a desperate cry tearing out of your throat.

But Felix didn’t stop.

He growled, lips still wrapped around your clit as your legs trembled. “You’re not done. I’m not done. Keep taking it.”

“Felix—oh god—Felix please—”

He finally pulled back, face wrecked and soaked, lips shiny, pupils blown wide.

“Bed,” he rasped, breath hitching as he kissed the inside of your thigh. “Now.”

You didn’t argue.

You ran.

And he followed.

The bedroom door had barely shut before Felix had you flat on the mattress, his hands already skimming up your thighs with frantic reverence, like he was trying to memorize every inch of skin all over again.

You reached for him, already pulling him down for a kiss, but he caught your wrist and pinned it to the bed, eyes wild and glowing.

“Not yet,” he whispered, breathless. “Let me. Just let me taste you. Please.”

He said it like he was begging for water. Like he’d die if you didn’t let him.

You nodded—barely a breath—and he sank between your legs like it was his throne, his altar, his final destination.

Felix kissed your knees first. Then the insides of your thighs. Slow. Lingering. Filthy. His hands caressed over your hips, thumbs pressing small circles into your skin while his mouth worked its way up, inch by inch, until you were twitching under the anticipation alone.

When he finally pressed a kiss to your wet center, you gasped—hips jerking reflexively. He moaned against your cunt like it was him receiving the pleasure.

“Oh my god—” your voice broke on a whisper.

He looked up, lips parted, chin already slick. “I dreamed about this. Every night.”

And then his tongue was everywhere.

Felix didn’t rush. No, this wasn’t that. This was a slow unraveling—a masterclass in torment. He circled your clit in lazy figure-eights, then flicked with feather-light precision, just enough to make you squirm.

“You’re already shaking,” he murmured, lips dragging across your folds. “That’s so hot, baby. So fucking hot.”

He gripped your thighs tighter when you tried to close them around his head. “Uh uh. You wanted to tease me? Now you take it. Keep those legs open.”

His tongue dove deep, licking into you like he was starving—like you were made of sugar and sin and something only he was allowed to have.

You cried out, back arching. “Felix—shit—feels so—so good—”

“I know, love,” he cooed. “You’re doing so well. Just like that. Give it to me.”

He alternated pressure like a damn expert: soft licks along your slit, then a pointed suck on your clit that had your vision blurring.

When your hand clawed into his hair and your thighs began to tremble again, he only groaned louder. “That’s it. That’s what I needed. I need to see you fall apart.”

You whimpered. “I can’t—Felix, I’m gonna—”

“Do it.” His voice was low, commanding, yet tender. “Cum for me. Let me taste all of you.”

You shattered.

The orgasm ripped through you—sharp, sudden, full-body. He never pulled away. Just kept licking, kept worshipping, moaning into you like your pleasure was his drug.

But you were too sensitive now—your hips bucked, thighs twitching, body trying to escape the overwhelming sensation.

“Please—please, too much—”

Felix didn’t stop.

“You’re not done. I’m not done.” His voice was wrecked, hoarse, muffled between your thighs. “You taste so fucking sweet. I missed this. Missed you. One more, baby. Give me one more.”

And because it was Felix, because it was his voice, his tongue, his need—

You did.

The second orgasm hit harder. Your hips jerked up into his mouth and your voice cracked on a sob as your hands scrambled for something to hold onto. Sheets, him, reality—it didn’t matter.

He finally let up only when your body had gone boneless and you whimpered his name like a plea. Felix looked up at you from between your legs—his lips swollen, face soaked, eyes blown and soft and so full of love it ached. “You okay, angel?” he asked gently, crawling up your body and kissing your cheek, your jaw, your lips. “Too much?”

You shook your head. “Perfect. That was—fuck.”

He chuckled against your skin, voice warm and fond. “God, I missed the way you taste. I could eat you for hours.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you mumbled, still trembling.

“Not a temptation,” he whispered, pressing kisses over your chest. “It’s a promise.” He laid over you like a blanket, letting your breathing calm—but his cock? Hard and leaking. And that’s when you whispered, voice small and teasing, “Lix… do you have a condom?”

He froze. His breath hitched. And when he pulled back to look you in the eyes, his expression had changed.

Soft. Intense. Something else entirely. His lips parted, but the answer didn’t come right away. You reached up, gently tucking a damp strand of hair behind his ear.

“Baby?”

“I…” he exhaled sharply. His eyes fluttered shut, and when he opened them again—everything was written there.

All of it.

The longing. The ache. The weeks of separation. The nights he’d stared at the ceiling wondering what it would feel like to be completely inside you, no barrier, no distance, no protection from how much he needed you.

“No,” he admitted quietly. “I didn’t bring one.”

You blinked.

“I didn’t forget,” he added, voice strained. “I didn’t want to.”

Your breath caught. Felix stared down at you, every inch of his body strung tight. He ran his fingers down your side, slow, reverent, voice low and shaking.

“I’ve been thinking about it. So much. Too much.” His lips ghosted over your shoulder. “Every time I touched myself on tour… I imagined this. You. Around me. Raw.”

You swallowed thickly, eyes locked on his. He looked wrecked. Not just with lust—with love.

“I want it all,” he whispered. “I want you. I want to feel you. I want to cum inside you and not stop. I want to fill you so deep it doesn’t go away. I want to know it’s still there hours later—days later.”

He paused, forehead resting against yours, and what came next was barely audible:

“I want to start a family with you.”

You gasped. Your whole body tensed beneath him.

Felix cupped your cheek, thumb brushing over your flushed skin. “I’m not saying now. Not unless you want it. But the time away—baby, it messed me up. I missed you so much it hurts. And when I think about our future… I just see this. You. Me. Something we made together.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, the weight of his words crashing over you like a wave. “You really mean that?” you asked, voice shaking.

His answer was immediate. “More than anything.”

He kissed you then—slow, sweet, like a promise—and you felt it all: the heat, the hunger, the hope. You looked up at him, heart pounding, and whispered: “Then do it.”

He blinked. “Are you sure?”

“Felix,” you whispered, hooking your legs around his waist. “I want to feel you. All of you. I want you to cum inside me. I want you to have me.”

That’s when he snapped.

It was silent at first. Just a shift in his breath. A flicker in his gaze.

But you felt it.

Like a tremor under your skin—like the storm was about to hit and you’d just told it to take everything.

Felix sat up on his knees between your thighs, hands shaking as he yanked his shirt over his head in one smooth, desperate motion. The way the muscles of his torso flexed under the soft lamplight, skin flushed, chest heaving—it made your mouth fall open. He tossed the shirt somewhere behind him, already working at the waistband of his sweats, muttering curses under his breath as his fingers fumbled.

You propped yourself on your elbows, watching—devouring him with your eyes. The sharp line of his V-cut, the curve of his waist, the way his boxers tented forward so obscenely it almost hurt to look at. His cock—thick, flushed, leaking—slapped against his abdomen when he finally kicked his clothes off.

Your breath caught audibly. “Felix—”

He crawled over you like he’d been waiting years. No teasing smirk now. Just pure, devastating hunger.

“Not gonna last long,” he murmured, voice wrecked and low, one hand wrapping around the base of his cock as he hovered over your heat. “Not after seeing you like this. After tasting you like that.”

You were soaked. Dripping. From his mouth, from the words, from the sheer ache of wanting him bare. He slid the tip of his cock down your folds—slow, teasing. Soaked in your slick, he rocked it up and down, dragging it over your clit, slipping it back down to your entrance.

You whined.

“Fuck,” he gasped, his jaw clenching. “You feel that? That’s how bad you need me.” You bucked your hips up, trying to take him in—but he held your waist down firmly. “Not yet,” he whispered. “Wanna feel you open up for me. Let me savor it.”

He pushed forward just an inch—barely breaching your entrance—and the sound you let out was nothing short of pleading.

Your head fell back. “Felix, please—please—”

He kissed your neck softly, cock still nudging at your hole, slick and thick and taunting.

“I know, baby. I know.” His voice broke a little. “You’re taking me so well already. Just a little more, yeah?”

He slid in another inch.

You cried out, arching under him, and he groaned like the sound physically hurt him—in the best way. “God, you’re tight. You’re—fuck—I can feel everything.” He pushed in fully, inch by inch, burying himself to the hilt with one deep, aching thrust—and you both gasped in unison.

You felt full, stretched, completely claimed. And he?

He looked wrecked. Eyes fluttering, mouth open, forehead shining with sweat. His chest heaved as he held himself there—deep inside you, unmoving for a moment, trying so hard to hold back. “This is it,” he whispered, leaning down, hips twitching. “This is what I’ve been dreaming of. You. Just like this. So fucking warm. Letting me in.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, your legs around his waist, clinging to him like you never wanted him to leave.

“Move,” you begged. “Please.”

He did.

He started slow, grinding into you with devastating precision—deep, deep, so goddamn deep, like he was trying to stay inside even when he pulled back.

Every thrust was a confession.

“I missed you.” Thrust. “You’re mine.” Thrust. “You feel so good, so perfect.” Grind.

You could feel him leaking inside you with every push, his cock hot and hard and raw, and you loved it. Every slide, every stretch, every inch of skin against skin made you ache for more.

Your nails raked down his back.

He hissed, head dropping to your shoulder. “You’re milking me. You want it, don’t you? Want me to fill you up?” You nodded, sobbed, moaned something incoherent. “Say it,” he growled, his control cracking. “Say you want me to cum inside. Say you want it dripping out of you.”

“Yes,” you gasped. “Want it. Want everything. Fill me up, Lix. Make me yours.”

That was it.

His rhythm stuttered, thrusts turning erratic, filthy, needy.

You clenched around him, crying out—right on the edge, again—and he felt it. He always did. “Cum with me,” he whispered, voice breaking. “Please. Wanna feel you when I let go. Wanna know you’re taking it all.”

And when it hit?

It hit hard.

You shattered—body arching, legs locked around him, his name ripped from your throat.

And Felix?

He spilled deep inside you with a groan that sounded like it came from his soul, hips jerking as he emptied himself, hot and messy and yours. He didn’t stop moving. Not at first. Just slow, tiny thrusts, like he was trying to stay inside—trying to push it deeper, like he didn’t want a single drop to go to waste.

You whimpered, still trembling, still high on him.

Felix finally stilled, collapsed against your chest, breath hot on your neck.

Neither of you spoke. Not yet.

Because what just happened? That wasn’t just fucking. That was everything.

Felix lay over you, his breath slowing as he pressed soft, scattered kisses to your skin. Shoulder. Collarbone. The dip between your breasts.

You felt full—in every sense. Breathless. Boneless. Loved. His soft curls tickled your cheek as he whispered, “You okay?”

You nodded weakly. “I think you melted my spine.”

He chuckled, but it sounded broken—tender, like he’d barely recovered either. “Good. You ruined me first.”

He kissed your temple, your jaw, the corner of your lips. Then he pulled back and looked down at your body, like he couldn’t quite believe it was real.

The way your thighs were still trembling slightly. The way his release—his cum—was slowly beginning to seep out of you.

And something primitive passed through his expression. He touched your belly with the backs of his fingers. Reverent. He looked up. “Too much?”

You shook your head, lips parting. “No,” you whispered. “Not too much.”

He stared at you—like you’d hung the stars.

And then he was moving again, gently shifting your legs back down, hands warm as he whispered, “Come on, angel. Let me clean you up.”

You whimpered in protest when he slipped out of you, body instinctively tightening around nothing. He kissed your inner thigh. “I know, baby. I know. You were so good for me.”

He scooped you into his arms like you weighed nothing.

Cradled against his chest, you felt his heartbeat—it was still fast. Still erratic. And so close to yours.

The bathroom was dim. Soft light glowed from the wall sconces, and Felix lowered you onto the counter for a moment while he ran the bath. His fingers lingered on your waist. His lips kept brushing your shoulder, your neck, your hair.

Once the water filled, warm and steaming, he lifted you again—carrying you into the tub like you were porcelain.

The second your body hit the water, a soft moan slipped from your throat. Felix sat behind you, legs spread, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you back against his chest.

You let out a shaky sigh.

He pressed his lips to your ear. “I love you so much,” he murmured. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

You leaned back into him. “I think I do now.” He chuckled. Then reached for the sponge, gently soaking it, squeezing warm water over your chest, your belly, your thighs. His fingers moved tenderly—not sexual, not teasing. Just love.

After the bath, he dried you gently, dressed you in one of his oversized shirts, then tucked you into bed like he was afraid you’d disappear again.

He laid beside you, spooning you close, his hand splayed over your stomach. Neither of you spoke for a while.

Just breathing. Just holding. Until finally, half-asleep, you heard him whisper:

“With you, I’m already home.”

[pureconvexenergy]

oKAY BUT CUBS OBSESSION WITH SCAR IS SOMETHING NO ONE CAN BREAK- THE I D E A S- (also hi sculk scar anon again :3)

1: Cub Totally uses Scar as a basis for spite specifically! Or at least Scar level spite (then you get Grian level instigation, Doc level revenge, aaaand honestly Cub uses himself as a Knows It level to see how others vary on what they know like parkour and different mechanics for it in the Labyrinths case - everyone elses mini games and businesses are enough data on their own, talkings just a bonus)

2: Cub had to lock himself away, listen to the Songs of the Vex and later the Sculk, when Grian was soulbound to Scar. Already Grian was connected to Mumbo, Grian already was paired up! Scar was *His* proven and Earned soulhalf- Sometimes he can only be brought out of his jealousy by the Vex, other times he calls Scar over and covers absolutely Covers Scar in jewelry while looking at their shared earring/necklace/ring/piercing. They may not have the Cathedral anymore but hell if Cub didn't know how to make Scar feel like an altar, worshipped and made *perfect*.

3: Though course connected as they are, Cub is near by, watches, listens, plans, *lives* near Scar in ways the other Hermits could never even Attempt. But Scars version? It's Being. Cub is near by? Scar slows, stops, flies predictably. Cubs watching? He becomes more animated, smiley, putting on a him sized puppet show for Cub. He's listening to Scar? More inflection, tone, stylized pacing- ends some stories as "For the one and only, Cubfan!" Planning is Inevitable for those two. Living?

They are Vex. They have always been before and after. Even Watchers look on, envious of the Connection eyes cannot achieve.

...aNYWAY- Hope yall like it :D (need more convex crumbs I am Dying)

1: Yep. Definitely. Scar spites, and holds grudges, and gives his friends the cold shoulder like no one else. But never towards Cub. They’re not sure if it’s a vex thing, but Vex definitely hold grudges, so it’s probably part of it

2: ooooh yess. Cub would definitely be at least a little bit jealous and begrudging of Grian for being Scar’s soulmate, and respond by treating Scar even better than usual. For so many reasons. A: how the other soulmate pairs get to act around each other without anyone questioning. He and Scar are happy to be close and affectionate in private, but being able to do that more publicly without the other players teasing them for it? Yes. Cub needs that.

b: he’s heard Scar’s stories of Grian being distant and rude and then later cheating in Scar. He knows Scar just wants an ally who cares for him. Grian has a chance to be as friendly and excited and caring with Scar as he is in Hermitcraft and he’s blowing it completely. (Which also made Cub wonder if Grian was faking it in Hermitcraft) C: one of my headcanons is that during Double Life, Cub ALSO feels the Scar and Grian’s injuries (but as phantom pain), even stronger than usual. And then Grian saying how Scar’s always getting hurt when he really isn’t. And Cub can’t quite understand Grian’s problem.

Also, on the same point, I want to know more about this Song of the Vex. I love it. Clearly it’s something that calms vexlings down, perhaps something only vexlings can hear. And maybe allays as well, and the allays are either calmed by it, or it makes them act up. And other players are really confused. I can imagine a lot of humming, no real lyrics. But a lot of pent of emotion. And now that’s led me to a thought that Vex - and Vexlings - hum when they’re happy. Like the equivalent of cats purring.

3: Scar putting on a show of normal everyday things whenever Cub’s around? Yes. So much yes. Anything he can to make Cub’s day that little bit brighter. And when Cub’s in a conversation with other hermits, Scar sometimes appears behind and Cub’ll be left trying to explain Scar’s antics. And he never quite can explain how Scar made him laugh in a way that the other hermits understand. In the same way neither of them can explain how they understand their secret non-verbal language of tiny movements, or what any particular movement means. They just have that connection with each other. Is it the Vex? Probably. Are they in love with each other? Only in a QPR way. But would they exchange that feeling for anything else? Absolutely not.

[cepheusgalaxy]

OKAY SO REVIEW

PVP civilization was unexpectedly good

I really liked parkciv but it was more of a lighthearted thing and it was also a bit silly. It was really fun and the premise and worldbuilding allowed for a lot of messing around BUT im not here to talk about it

There were a few uh not really faults? But things in Parkour Civilization that set my expectations for the next series. Then I got in PVPciv and it got me off guard

A few things that did make sense but were a bit silly and jokey in parkciv had similar equivalents in pvpciv--like the guards accepting bribes XDD--but here things seemed way more grounded. The guards don't just do that because well pvp is the coin here and we watch it bc it's good and cool; they have to take hits to level up, so it's in their best interest to accept bribes. And unlike parkciv where a few questions went unanswered--they weren't needed for the story--here it all gets a bit more of development. Not everyone likes pvp and wants to rank up because Yes. They are forced to, who refuses to pvp just dies, and people want to rank up to live longer lives

The plot was really nice, the character development was also REALLY endearing to see--im always a fan of character developing along with their skills

The exposition was also really really cool and at every layer it'd get cooler

We had a lot of fun characters too (and they had names which is always a plus) and they all got interactions and screentime and!!! Anyways I loved each and every one of them. Even the villains or the PVP-speak guy.

Also the whump???? I was not expecting that. I love characters that die over and over and over again and then him being farmed for it???? Having to die for his friend? That was awesome. Sacrificial lamb arc. It also lasted for a bit longer than I had dared hope for so I was really pleased

The angst at the end was also really cool. I'm excited for the next season

Also the little characterization details! "Oh yea Evbo has a shopping problem" "Evbo is not very good as a player and probably not the best choice for being the chosen one" "Evbo talks a lot and he loves mansions and recording his thoughts" and gosh that was amazing

also the lil pakour references had me dying/pos

ALL IN AND OUT I LOVED IT AND I RLLY WANNA DRAW IT OUT

[djcarnationsblog]

Y'ALL HEAR ME OUT, HEAR ME OUT- (this is gonna have so many of my 2003 hcs in here and I do not apologize in advance/aff)

I GOT A 2003 LEOSAGI IDEA BUT IT'S A LITTLE LESS ROMANCE AND A LITTLE MORE-

LITTLE BROTHERS IN THEIR GREMLIN MODE

I feel like Leo was NOT subtle at all with his crush, and all of his brothers could tell. And so Usagi got invited over a lot more because EVERYONE wanted him over

(Leo did not sense the impending doom in this decision until it was too late)

So you see, there is the younger sibling way of law (imo), where the younger siblings are obligated to be gremlins to their oldest sibling, ESPECIALLY around the oldest sibling's crush.

And these motherfuckers DO NOT DISAPPOINT-

There was a time where Leo and Usagi were having pleasant conversation, y'know? They were chillin', it was all fine and dandy.

And then in the motherfucking distance you hear an approaching;

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

CUE MIKEY AND RAPH FUCKING BODY SLAMMING LEO INTO THE GROUND AND JUST START WRESTLING THIS MOTHERFUCKER, NO RHYME OR REASON BESIDES THE FACT THAT LEO'S BEEN TALKING TO USAGI AND THEY HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT-

Usagi is just blinking rapidly off to the side, and Donnie just walks up beside him sippin' on some apple juice and just goes "Yeah, this is par for the course."

There was another time where Donnie and Mikey were hanging out with Usagi, showing him cartoons and shit.

And then all of a sudden Leo just bolts past the couch, running for his goddamn life with Raph hot on his trail with the most shit eating grin ever-

And when Mikey asks what's up, they turn around to witness Leo just parkour his fucking ass onto the wall-

and so now he's just climbing up as far as he can go while Raph is following him from the floor, calling after him and calling him all sorts of things while Leo's just yelling at him like "STOP!! SHUT UP!!! RAPH!!!!"

Now Mikey is losing his shit, Usagi is wondering how he got up there so easily, and Donnie?

Donnie's gettin' ideas dude. He's gettin' ideas.

So watch as this purple motherfucker grabs one of Mikey's stress balls, aims for it-

and just starts yeeting that ball at Leo.

Now Raph is losing his shit as Leo's trying to fend off this fucking ball that Donnie keeps pelting at him, and Usagi's like "Why are you throwing that at him??? What are you both doing??"

Donnie's response? "It's the younger brother in me. I gotta listen to it."

So now Mikey starts fuckin' with Leo and starts shouting "BURN THE TURTLE!!! BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!!! HIS NINJOSITY IS A SIN UPON THIS WORLD!!!"

Donnie turn to him like, "why the hell do you know about that???"

And then RAPH turns to him like, "Comparing Leo to a witch? That is an insult to the witches, Mikey, apologize."

So now they're ALL ganging up on Leo, who's yelling at them and clinging to dear life on one of the pipes on the CEILING howdidhegetthere-

And Usagi's in the back, muffling his chuckles because this is actually funny as fuck-

Poor Leo though.

Adding onto that scene, we have Raph be like, "Why are you up there anyways??? Aren't you scared of heights?"

Leonardo immediately defending himself in the wrong way by saying "I WAS A CHILD RAPH, I HAD A CHILD'S MIND IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!"

Usagi latches onto that SO quickly bro like- "You? A Ninja? You used to be afraid of heights?"

All three of the gremlins start laughing and Leo's sputtering to deflect like a motherfucker.

"Now-now here's the thing with younger brothers, Usagi, they lie all the time-"

"EXQUEESE ME???"

"NOW HOLD ON THERE, DUDE-"

"WHOMST THE FUCK IS LYING HERE?!?!?"

Raph rats out Leo so fast by recalling him being afraid of heights until like, he was five. And then Donnie IMMEDIATELY backs up his twin (yes I fw the hc of them being twins sue me-) by going "He was afraid until he was six. I counted."

Leo here though? Gotta defend his pride here bro-

"You know what, here's another thing about siblings-FUCK YOU BOTH-"

Y'ALL THEY AAAAALL STARTLED AT THAT BC LEO HERE DON'T CUSS MUCH UNTIL HE REALLY WANNA INSTILL THE FEAR OF GOD INTO YOU-

Mikey makin' that their cue to gtfo like "NOW WE GOTTA SKEDADDLE, NOW WE GOTTA GET THE DIDDLY DARN FUCK ON OUT OF HERE-"

The way they all ran for the hills the moment Leo dropped from the ceiling was GLORIOUS

(Leo will forever be proud of making Usagi laugh until he snorted.)

(Even though he had to kill some lil' bros to do it)

And so imagine when they get together, right?

Oh god, oh no, oh shit-

That ^^^ is exactly what goes through Leo's mind when he tells his brothers, because he KNOWS just what they're gonna exploit and fucking HOW-

Because here's the thing.

They're all turtles. They still got basic turtle instincts, no matter how much more human they act than turtle, it is IN THEIR NATURE TO BE TEETLEZ AND THAT WILL BACKFIRE SO HARD ON LEO THAT HE FAILS SUCCESSFULLY???? SORT OF???

Like, here, look-

Imagine the amount of shit they would spill to Usagi about Leo, not only regarding things like his love language and shit, but also about basic turtle love language.

One of those being the fact that turtles will tap/slap their mates on the face to show affection. Albeit for the turtle boys, the slaps would be pretty gentle and shit.

Usagi? Found this hilarious.

He did this the first time he came to visit as Leo's official boyfriend. They were all excited to see him (and excited to see if he'd go through with it, cuz c'mon, who doesn't want Leo blackmail?) and Leo's just happy to see his bby again cause Leonardo 'I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU AND YOU ARE GORGEOUS AND EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT AND NEED IN MY LIFE' Splinterson is what some may call a 'Raging Homosexual'

So they greet each other with a hug, all's well and they're happy to see each other.

And then Usagi taps him on both of his cheeks with a mischievous lil' smile.

THE WAY THIS MOTHERFUCKER SHUTS RIGHT THE FUCK DOWN-

OH THIS POOR POOR BOI, OH YOU POOR THING

FUCKING SUFFER

The way his hands were flapping like crazy almost the entire day afterwards was honestly the most adorable thing Usagi had ever seen.

And it felt nice when Leo shyly tapped him back. It was very cute-

There's also the thing where like, apart from not being fond of most touch, turtles and some tortoises definitely don't mind shell scratches or neck scratches.

You can easily tell how Usagi got his ass trapped under an eeping Leo on the couch. He didn't even have the heart to try and move the bitch, they both just fell asleep there.

Mikey got his well deserved $20 out of their bet.

NOW I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE SO RIP RIGHT THERE, BUT LIKE, Y'ALL SEE THE VISION RIGHT??? TRUST ME, THESE LITTLE SHITS WOULD DIAL UP THE LITTLE SHITERY TO A TWELVE

Leo wants to hate them, but like, they sorta helped him bag a bad bitch so he can't ENTIRELY complain

[sadlynotthevoid]

Why can't nii give Sakura interesting layers to his character outside " traumatized socially awkward teen" like any interesting new revelation about him? Give him close or special person " relative, friend" anything!

His distant and closed off personality is boring icl

From where? All the people who discriminate him?

If he had actually had people who had accepted him before, why would had him gone to try to gain a sense of self-worth by beating people up in the middle of who knows where?

Sakura's character goes taking shape as he gets to experience things beyond reject. Like how his favorite food is omurice, probably because it was (I suppose) the first meal someone has gave him because they wanted.

But if we're talking about something he is that can't be linked downright to his trauma and the shitty life he had, then that be his kindness. Bro doesn't have a single reason to be kind, he just is. Despite how people took that kindness coming from him.

There's also how bad at technology he is. You can't blame that on his lack of bonds. Suzuri has only just started playing games (finally) and he's already better at it than him. Meanwhile, Sakura has had his phone since before joining Furin and boy can't type a single message. Yeah, you could say he didn't have no one to text to, but has he never used internet? Google or whatever search engine Japanese people use?

To be honest, that only makes me wonder what did he do in his free time. I mean, teenagers without friends tend to spend their free time reading or online. Did he seriously just sleep? Did bro spent all day sleeping or fighting?

Bro, is this how you got so good at parkour? Did you go up in any given chance to avoid people to the point you can compete with cats?

This kinda just made his character funnier to me. Here there's a teenager with no friends nor social life, with an avaible phone, who never thought on using internet to waste time.

I got sidetracked. Anyways, yeah Sakura's trauma is a big part of his character. No, he probably doesn't have any positive bonds linking to anyone of his past. (If he had, then probably something bad would had happened for him to move away of them so...) Well, I don't think he has. And about the last part—

"Distant and closed off" is really just how he starts. He's defensive, yes. But he's terrible at keeping people away and literally can't reject their kindness. Just on the first chapters bro ended up carrying a mountain of food because he couldn't say no. He also finished it all.

There's also that funny scene when he carries granny Sato on his back all the way to Pothos— only for her to jump off his back and land in a superhero pose (we love granny Sato).

He also goes to Anzai's childhood friend (the girl one)— I don't remember if he went to know what was going on with Anzai or he asked because she was crying— and listened silently to her story. That's kinda why he followed Anzai and all that.

And then in the Noroshi arc, after getting his ass beat and finally winning Endo (in whatever sense you prefer), he still helped him to get to the roof to watch the Umemiya vs Chika (almost typed Chiaki— whoops, wrong fandom) fight.

He's not distant (despite his name), he's defensive (hence the tsundere behaviour), mostly when he's embarrased, and silent. He's also really naive ("Oh, you're foreigner?!" and literally every interaction with Suo, lol).

He also seems to be a fast learner when it comes to fighting (he literally uses Tsubaki's way of kicking after the gravel arc, has used one of Choji's move before, and then there's whatever he did in the bridge), seems to have strong morals, and he also hates hats and glasses. Though that last one is most likely related to his trauma (i think it was referenced before, but I could be wrong).

A pity you find him boring, I guess. You don't have to read it if you don't want. You can also read it because of someone else besides the main character.

[reblog-house]

A New Sort of Civilization

Written for the @mcyt-rarepair-exchange, my gift for @feyscape! Wc: 13,680 (this is a long one, beware) Ship: EMF/Evbo/Seawatt AO3: Here! Parkour Civilization had changed a lot over a year, but there were some changes that needed to made.

Parkour Civilization changed for the better since the new Champion rose up and Evbo moved the ranks to Parkour God. The changes Evbo had installed when he occupied the throne were by all accounts better than what they had before, but the Master-born Champion took the reins in a satisfying way.

Currently, there was a parkour tournament going on at the Parkour Arena. A no-stakes tournament where everyone, regardless of their parkour, level could attend and even participate in to celebrate the one year anniversary of this new reign, both of the Master-born Champion and Evbo’s ascension, as well as to commemorate all those who couldn’t come back from the attack at parkour civilization. A new era of parkour had started and the Master Champion, upon endless bugging from his divine companion, decided to host said tournament. A friendly free-for-all with a great variety of blocks to choose from.

Everyone was cheering and howling at someone attempting a one-block downwards diagonal backwards 360, and all hell broke loose when she achieved it. 

“Good thing this is no-stakes, huh?” Evbo nudged the Champion with his elbow, as he hovered by his throne. “Else, you’d probably be overthrown about now.”

As he spoke, her opponent tried to build a harder course and was prepping himself for the jumps.

“Don’t say stuff like that, bro. If she’s truly better at parkour than me, there’s nothing stopping her from challenging me in the future…” He leveled Evbo with a glance. “Or trying for the God position itself.”

The opponent did the whole course without falling, but it wasn’t enough. He got dealt damage and the structures disappeared.

Evbo started stuttering and shaking his head from side to side. “Now who’s being rash? Oh forget it.”

The Champion smiled. It was so funny to get a reaction from Evbo.

“You’re right, anyway.” Evbo said, resigned, and sat on the armrest of the throne. “Let’s just keep watching.”

They watched as the girl remained at the arena and the guy poofed and respawned at the no-stakes-tournament bed, letting somebody else in. 

“I will admit, she shows potential. Wouldn’t mind getting replaced by someone like her.”

Evbo’s head swung to him with his jaw wide open. “No way! Don’t joke about that! Only i can joke about those things!”

Next thing they know, the girl failed too many consecutive jumps and poofed outside the stage. She was pouting and sat on the bed, like claiming it for herself. Evbo chuckled and turned to face the Champion.

But his face… His eyes were trained somewhere in the distance. Focused like nothing else mattered on the stage. Evbo started asking him what was wrong, but a flurry of wind picked up in a circle. Those on the stage looked around with shock in their eyes, unaffected by the wind. Everyone else cowered down into their seats, covering their heads. Everyone’s hair and clothes were whipping wildly. Evbo tried reaching for his parkour god powers trying to find how to stop whatever was happening, but all his powers were parkour-related and thus useless for going against a natural phenomenon, if that counted as such. He couldn’t do anything.

“Bro, stand up!” he yelled to his companion, but he was sitting still. Too still. If this was something like the parkour villain, Evbo wanted them to be ready for action. So why was he not moving? He punched him. “Earth to my bro, stand up!”

“Something’s wrong,” is all he could say. 

Evbo was starting to grow exasperated. "Yes and if you don't move—”

“No… We need to stay, Evbo. I feel like we need to stay.”

As much as his heart was pounding to tear his companion off his seat and dismissing the competition to evacuate everyone, and his skin was itching to go out there and Parkour battle against the forces of nature, he trusted in his partner's calling too much.

Oh, this was all going to go horribly.

The thought had barely manifested and everything changed. Thunder striked the center of the arena somehow missing the opponents by a vertical trapdoor's-breadth. And like one of Seawatt's potion attacks, everything turned dark.

The silence was deafening. Evbo couldn't move.

Suddenly, thunder striked in the center, barely missing the two opponents. Everything turned dark for a second. A few seconds of uncertainty as to what could’ve possibly happened. It was all silent for a good moment, and then the light came back. 

—

Where am I?

Seawatt’s head hurt like nothing he’d ever felt before. It pierced through him, and trying to open his eyes only made it worse. The light was like a bomb to his retinas. The noise around him was just as unbearable. Shrieking and a shrill in his ears that just wouldn’t shut up. His hands tried to swallow all his senses by pressing all around his head, but nothing worked. The throbbing kept going and there was little his pressing around was helping.

The noise did subside, if only a little. 

That is, until somebody yelled his name right into his ear.

“Seawatt!”

He jumped back in surprise, eyes wide open and his hands clutching onto his ears. He turned to face the intruder to his senses.

“Sheesh, did you have to do that?” He said through gritted teeth. The light was too intense still, so he narrowed his eyes and tried to make out the shape that had so awfully assaulted his poor ear. From between his dark eyelashes, a blob of peach and yellow, surrounded on the bottom and top by a bunch of black, white and green lines, greeted him. To its side was a blob of darkness. He narrowed his eyes further and focused on the figure in front of him. 

The image slowly became clear and against his best judgement, he opened his eyes fully. It hurt his head a little, but he had to get used to it eventually. “Evbo?” And that master friend of his that they’d captured. He never caught his name. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I- You were dead!” He looked around. “Although all the others here were dead too, but you get what I mean. You all died due to the Parkour Villain!”

“We did?” Seawatt’s head hurt trying to picture what he could last remember. It was a bright day, the sun reflecting off of the sand below him. He’d just betrayed Evbo’s trust and done everything in his power to let the ‘Villain of Parkour’ escape so his people could be avenged. He’d done everything right and then- the Parkour Villain turned to him. Turned on him.

He’d tried to run, but a force pulled at his legs, his body. He was stuck and all he could do was accept the challenge and accept his fate.

He never should’ve betrayed Evbo’s trust.

“Oh, right,” he said nonchalantly, trying to keep the hurt from the betrayal — both betrayals — off his face. “Doesn’t that mean you two are dead too?” He crossed his arms. “So I don’t see why you’re so confused. As far as I know, death has always been pretty linear, and if he managed to escape, taking so many down as you said, it’s no doubt you would be included in the bunch as well.”

The thought of that tugged at his chest.

“Seawatt,” the man at Evbo’s side spoke. The deepness of his voice made him turn immediately, caught off guard. He forgot how deep it was.

“What?” He turned his chin up and switched his weight to one leg. A strand of hair fell down on one of his eyes and he shook it away.

“Look down.”

Seawatt rolled his eyes. Were they really trying to bring him down to their level? But there was little he could gather if he didn’t play along. He brought his head back down and stared directly into the eyes of Evbo’s friend.

“No. I mean literally look down. Look at our feet.”

“Weirdos,” he said, but complied, if only because curiosity was starting to bite at him, and–

Black boots. Diamond boots. Evbo’s boots were made of netherite, and his friend’s…

“Woah, woah, woah, what is going on!” Last time they’d seen them, Evbo was wearing the boots of his people, and his ‘friend’ was in his Master attire. What… happened? It couldn’t be that… “What about the- what happened to-”

“The Parkour Villain?” The friend — seriously, he needed a name for him, or he would start calling him some abbreviated form of ‘Evbo’s Master Friend’ - or would it be Champion now? His head was starting to hurt again — said. “Evbo did a quick work of him.”

“It wasn’t easy,” Evbo intercepted, “but I got these sick boots and the previous Parkour God’s blessings so I could finish him off. Now I am Parkour, guiding the new and stellar Champion to my side to do great things for Parkour Civilization and everyone lived happily ever after, the end.” He finished his monologue with a flourish and Seawatt was starting to feel sick.

“Except for everyone who until now seemed to have died forever because of the Parkour Villain you set free.” Evbo’s M… oh whatever, EMF’s- EMF… was that right? It should probably be ECF instead, but that sounded bad. EMF’s eyes bore into him.

This was… wrong. So wrong. The Parkour Villain was meant to win, but- he was glad he didn’t. His head was throbbing again, harder than before, and acid burned up his throat. His feet couldn’t support his weight anymore, tumbling where he stood. 

He doubled over and let go.

—

Seawatt came to himself somewhere without any noise. His mouth stunk and his stomach complained at him for being empty. Seawatt groaned and grimaced, unsure what had happened, and pushed himself off the ground with his hands. His back creaked as he stood, and his muscles contorted and stretched. Once up, his whole body asked to be stretched, and he gave it what it wanted. 

The flavor in his mouth was starting to become unbearable. Seriously, what happened? He looked around himself and—

The middle of a platform surrounded by grandstands. Fully empty except for himself — but that wasn’t the case before. Too many people, too much noise. Everything had hurt and he–

Ah.

Oh, gross. Seawatt frowned and looked at the void — world — below. Well, at least it wasn’t anything he’d have to deal with. Nothing that could be linked back to him and that was the important part.

But there were a lot of people. They saw him. They must have, unless they were all too focused on their own troubles. How embarrassing, truly.

“I see you’re awake now.”

Seawatt froze up and turned around with a controlled smile, projecting a confident version of himself. “Ah, I didn’t see you there, uh… New Champion.”

“I figured that out.” His eyes seemed to be… smaller, now. Did the man have eyelids? That seemed obvious now, but to be honest, Seawatt had never seen him open his mouth either. He wasn’t even sure he had a mouth, so anything could go.

They stared at each other in silence, and Seawatt wondered if he looked as unkempt as he felt. His hair was sticking to him in all the wrong places and his robes were creased in a way he’d never let others see in any other context. But he couldn’t let on to how much he hated being seen this way. He had to make do with what he had.

“So… are you just gonna stare at me in silence?” Seawatt cocked his head, a hand on hips.

“Evbo trusts you, for some reason. I don’t understand why, but I trust his judgement. You’re on thin ice, Seawatt. I haven’t forgotten your part in all this.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure, blame me for all the evils of the world.” He took a decisive step forward and pointed at the other’s chest. “All I wanted-” He poked at EMF’s chest. “-was to bring justice to my people.” He looked up at him with narrowed eyes. “Not like you would understand.” And he stepped back. 

EMF looked at him with an unreadable expression. Nothing about that man was ever readable. Before Seawatt was ready for it, EMF turned around and started walking away.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

“Leaving you at it. Not like I’d understand.”

Seawatt stared at him go and looked to the side, the sound of his footfalls a constant rhythm. He hugged himself tightly and looked back up. 'EMF’ was preparing to jump off the platform and onto the grandstands.

“Hey, um. You mentioned Evbo?”

EMF stopped in place. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

Seawatt's skin itched. Oh how he hated to do this. Made him feel weak. He rubbed at his arm. “Could… could you take me to him for a second?” 

EMF didn't respond for a second. Seawatt was avoiding EMF with his gaze, but he still felt observed.

EMF sighed. “He'll be disappointed if he hears you wanted to come with and I told you no. I know he looked very casual back there, but he has many questions for you. Come on, now. Follow me.”

—

You were hoping your meeting with Seawatt would go better than it did. The parkour over to the top of the world wasn't hard, considering you were the current Champion, but Seawatt wasn’t too keen on following your lead.

“Are you sure I should follow you up there?” 

“Is something wrong?”

“Well…” he looked at the way up. “I don’t see anything, for one.”

“Just follow my lead.”

Seawatt stared at you long and hard.

“And if I do get up there, what then? Would I become a challenger to the throne as well? Because I would manage to do the seemingly impossible in parkour.” He crossed his arms. He looked like he wanted to say something else but he stayed quiet. His brow was furrowed looking at the high walls.

“You think you’re going to fall?”

“That doesn’t matter. Just get him down here, alright?”

You decided not to fight him on it. Besides, it would be best to have a moment with Evbo to explain the situation to him before Seawatt got there. You just hoped this wouldn’t backfire on both of you.

—

“Oh! You’re here again! What… happened with Seawatt?”

“He’s downstairs. Feared he’d fall, though he wouldn’t admit it. He’s a bit pissy, so don’t expect him to collaborate much.”

“Well…” Evbo dragged his words. “He did just come back from the dead. You’d be like that too, if you found out you’ve been dead for a while.”

You sighed. "Maybe so. Just warning you so it doesn't catch you off-guard.”

Evbo smiled and walked up to you. He laid his arm across his shoulder. “Always looking out for me. Don't you worry your head, I can handle myself.” He then looked at you sincerely. "But… thank you.” He walked over to the cliff and brought out a water bucket, then looked behind him. “Hey, aren't you coming?”

You looked at him for a second. You wanted to accompany him, and his face showed how he wanted you to follow him. But you knew whatever conversation they were going to have was best left to themselves, without the pressure of a third party in there. Let alone one whose dislike for the other was mutual.

“You know, I think I'm going to sit this one out. You have fun with your conversation. If you need me, I'll be up here.”

Evbo furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth to complain, but he looked at you for a moment longer and let out the tension in his shoulders.

“Well, if you say so… Be back in a moment.” And he jumped down.

You couldn't help but feel you should've followed him, but too late for that now. You sat on your champion throne and waited.

—

Evbo did a perfect MLG water bucket clutch and landed right in front of Seawatt. Seawatt didn't last a second before speaking up.

“So, you came down, your…”  he looked him up and down, “majesty.”

“Oh, come on now, no need for titles. I’m just a regular person like you and my partner and-”

The words he said didn’t match his body language. He was clearly proud of the title and preening. Seawatt smirked. So Evbo didn't catch his sarcasm. That didn’t surprise him. 

“Your so-called ‘partner’ is the Parkour Champion, and I’m from a forgotten layer. Are you sure we’re good points of comparison for ‘regular people’?”

Evbo ignored the jibe. “So…” he started saying with a forced grin. “Your layer, huh?”

He narrowed his eyes. “What about it?” he said cautiously, as a threat. 

Suddenly, Evbo’s grin faded. His teeth were still showing in a grimace. Seawatt crossed his arms.

“You betrayed me.” He made direct eye contact. “I thought you were my friend.” And then, “I mean, we weren’t friends at first, and I was ready to attack you with a parkour battle at any point because I didn’t trust you, and in the end, I shouldn’t have trusted you,” he rambled on. But then, he turned serious again. His voice lost the rambling tone of before. “Because you… helped the Parkour Villain. But then… your last words. If you did feel that way, why did you do it?”

So this was happening. He tightened his grip against himself. “You already know about my people. I think that’s enough explanation.”

“You could’ve told me. Why go behind our backs?”

He deflated and looked behind Evbo, to the infinite horizon. “You already pointed out how I only had the clues for each Disc because I was given them. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything if not for my contacts. I wasn’t willing to jeopardize that.”

It was only silent for a moment, but then Evbo spoke up. “And now… you’re back, somehow. You all are.”

Seawatt perked up. “My layer. Is it…”

Evbo grimaced. “I haven’t figured out how to do that yet. Trust me, I’ve tried!” He rushed to add. “But hey, maybe now that we have you…”

Seawatt narrowed his eyes. “Did you try, really?”

“I… may have given up eventually. But really, I tried! I have no idea how to access those things, and the Old Man is long gone, so the only person who may know how to reverse it–”

“He wouldn’t have helped in the first place. He’s the sole reason it all happened.”

Evbo shook his head in resolution. “Yes, but if he saw I defeated the Parkour Villain, he’d agree to help.”

A headache was starting to flare up again on the sides of his head, and Seawatt brought his hand to the source of the pain, shoulders tensing.

“Let’s just… leave it for now. I can’t deal with this right now.”

Evbo seemed unsure. And like always, he vocalized it. “If you say so…”

Seawatt needed some time alone. He needed space. “Do I still own my house?” he asked dazedly. 

Evbo shrugged with a slight smile. “I think you’ll find that you do.”

—

Evbo seemed to appear everywhere he looked. He was often jumping around, offering challenges for players wanting to get better at parkour. Never teaching them, but leaving a trail of blocks where he went. He often left items not even Seawatt knew how to use in Parkour, possibly so the person could figure it out on their own. He was still confused about the boat he found in the middle of nowhere. 

Evbo was far from being a distant god, like the previous one had been. And after the day he was missing, a new person ranked up. Most people only knew of him from legends, only very few managed to see him, and even less people managed to interact with him in any real capacity. 

Evbo was different, in that regard. 

He was much too prone to showing off. It’s like he was allergic to being anything but the center of attention. No surprises there. It would be more shocking if he suddenly disappeared from public eye and stopped interjecting in people’s day-to-day lives.

His Champion Friend didn’t often follow suit.

Despite implying in his conversation with Evbo that they’d see each other again, Seawatt was relieved to find he didn’t take that as an invitation to run up to him whenever. He was sure it must be costing him a lot of self-restraint, or maybe a few words from his friend, but as long as Seawatt maintained his distance, he only caught glimpses or evidence of his presence from far away.

A part of him was glad for that, but he had to get moving at some point.

—

The city was unrecognizable from how he once knew it. He spent days just getting used to the new paths and structures all around. He was surprised his house stood as he knew it at first, considering nothing else was the same, but then he remembered what Evbo had told him the last time they met. Of course he’d be behind it.

But it had been a few days already, since then. Wandering the streets had already lost its splendor and he began to get bored. The Champion hadn’t come down in a couple days either, so there was little he could do on that front. All he could do was wait, and waiting was starting to get on his nerves.

His previous job was repetitive, but it at least was something, and it was always fun to figure out where a new member might fall and seal their fates. Sadly, with the restructuring of both the city and… political everything, it no longer stood. 

His job wouldn’t even make sense under the new political system.

Despite his initial reluctance, he found himself in front of the job assignment dispenser. 

—

Seawatt held his head on his hand, elbows on the desk, as he waited for people to come in.

It’d been very slow, and he was wondering why he even bothered picking up a job if he was going to get something as boring as… do nothing all day. He sighed through his nose and looked at the ceiling.

From the distance, he heard some chatter approaching.

“Yeah, he just came down!”

“Really? I don’t believe you.”

“Come on, he was just over by the town center.”

“What would he even be doing here, though? It’s weird, he never shows up but then he appears for no reason.”

“Beats me! Now come quicker, before they leave!”

“I’m going!”

And the voices fully vanished.

His attention was fully peaked now. If they were talking about who he thought they were—

This was the chance he was waiting for. 

He couldn’t care less about his job for the day, anyway.

—

There they were. The Parkour Champion and Evbo, acting as a barrier between his friend and the people trying to approach them in large groups. Interesting, Seawatt thought as he came closer. Despite being the Parkour God, Evbo thought the people would be more interested in seeing the Champion. Maybe that was the case, given how much Evbo made his presence felt in Parkour Civilization, but Seawatt still noted it down. 

The friend was clearly uncomfortable, even from afar. He was still, oddly quiet, and trying to look nowhere, after making the mistake of sweeping his glance around the mass of people. Direct eye contact, the easiest way to get unwanted attention. Evbo was jumping around him trying to distract everyone, and it worked, to a certain degree. Apparently, the novelty of the Parkour God had long dissipated, but some of it remained. The Champion said something to Evbo, but Seawatt couldn’t hear it over the sound of people asking to be challenged in a Parkour Battle, some even insisting on it not having friendly fire. Some were willing to die just to have the privilege of fighting against the Champion or God, even if dying was completely unnecessary in all regards.

Seawatt considered the scene for a moment longer before he decided to approach. They clearly needed his help, and if it would soften the pair’s opinions on him, Seawatt was willing to try it out. 

“So…” He approached the group and nudged some people off – the unfortunate fell off, others simply jumped away with his intrusion and tried to insult him, but he simply rolled his eyes and ignored them. “I see that the Parkour Champion has decided to grace us with his presence.”

“Oh, it’s you again.”

The people surrounding the pair all turned to look at Seawatt. 

“Yes, I did say I’d have to speak to you before, didn’t I?” Seawatt lied through his teeth. He never told that to ‘EMF’, but to Evbo instead. Still, he was giving them a lifeline, and he hoped the Champion would take it. 

EMF looked confused at first, but they caught on to Seawatt’s expectant expression and agreed.

“Ah, yes. You had some… things to clear up.” 

Evbo also took the sign and spoke up. “You heard the Champion! He has matters to attend to! It was nice to see all of you, but he has to get going now.”

The people didn’t move at first, but Seawatt stared at individuals directly until they got a move on.

Once the last person had left, EMF visibly relaxed. Or they did, until Seawatt cleared his throat, and their eyes jumped to him. It was like the Champion had completely forgotten his existence for a second. 

“Right, you came here. Why?”

“Oh, I thought I could lend a hand, you know? You were looking a bit crowded there, weren’t you? I did you a favor, for all you should care.”

“Nothing is ever just a favor with you.” EMF glared.

“Ouch,” Seawatt said with a heavy dose of irony. “Do you really think I’m like that? I would never. I just saw you were in trouble and decided to help. I can’t imagine how it feels being swarmed with people when you want to be left alone.”

EMF glared at Seawatt, while the corner of Seawatt’s mouth tilted upwards. They stared at each other, until Evbo interrupted.

“We should… probably not be in the middle of the street as we talk.”

“You’re right,” EMF said while still looking at Seawatt, and then dragged his eyes away, looking in a new direction. It was the Parkour Temple. “Let’s go,” he said, and started jumping. Evbo and Seawatt got a move on.

“So,” Evbo said, to break the tension. “You finally got your bearings, right? It’s… been a while already.” 

“Yes, yes,” he said dismissively, then corrected himself. “Yes, actually. Everything has… changed.”

“For the better!” Evbo interjected. “You know, I miss the green buildings and the Evbo theming, and my partner here did have a hard time figuring out the command blocks unlike me…”

“Hey.”

“But once he got the hang of it, not gonna lie, I think he’s handling it better than I did. I was not made to be a Champion, too many responsibilities and decision-making.” He pointedly looked at his friend, who hadn’t slowed down and was a block ahead of them, and smiled wider. “This guy’s much better at it than me… once he gets out of his mindset of following orders. Did everything without my input!”

He shook his head with his eyes closed, seemingly to himself.

“And… how long ago did this… new regime start?” Seawatt said slowly, hoping not too much time had passed.

“New regime,” Evbo repeated. “Not sure about that title. Does every new Parkour Champion count as a different regime?”

EMF ignored Evbo’s question, and despite not looking back, Seawatt felt him glaring at him as he next spoke. “The ‘new regime’ started right after Evbo defeated the Parkour Villain and he ascended. That was over a year ago already.”

“You, and everyone else, came back on the one year celebration, actually.” Evbo added, and looked down. “It’s been… hard providing a new house for everyone who came back, but my partner’s been hard at work doing that.”

… Is that the reason EMF rarely left the last layer of Parkour Civilization? Where were the people that came back staying before he gave everyone a home?

… Wait, wait no.

“Wait, hold on a second.” He dug his heels on the dirt block and shook his head. “You mean to tell me I’ve been gone for a year?”

“Yes.”

Seawatt felt the grass block under him breaking. He stammered and hid it with a dry smile.

They were already in front of the parkour temple. 

“Right, well, what are you waiting for? If you think you can fool me, you might as well leave while you’re at it.” He jerked his head toward the structure.

Evbo froze. EMF seemed unimpressed.

“Beats me. Evbo, let’s go.”

Evbo’s eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape. EMF started leaving, but they stayed in place. “We didn’t- why would we-” He shook his head. “Look, I’m trying to be understanding here, but you’re really,” he stressed the last word, “making it hard for me, you know?”

Seawatt started fidgeting with his hand like it was a stress cube. “So you think I’ll just accept that blindly? Maybe I misjudged you, Evbo.”

His words stopped even EMF. Evbo’s eyes narrowed and he made both hands into fists. “Hey, don’t try that. What do you think you’re doing? I’m giving you a second chance when Parkour G- me knows I shouldn’t.” 

Seawatt stayed silent, unmoving. After a moment, “What are you two waiting for? I already told you to leave.”

Evbo opened his mouth, eyes searching for something to say, but he shut it and groaned. “Fine. But I don’t understand what your ‘master plan’ here is. You’re just pushing away someone who could understand.” He started walking, EMF wasted no time following. “Goodbye for now.”

Seawatt hummed in response and stayed in place until the pair were at the bottom of the invisible way up. Evbo looked back one last time, but Seawatt didn’t move. And then, they were going up, jumping on block by invisible block. Seawatt tracked their movements with his eyes.

—

Legs crossed, sitting on the sides of his feet as his torso laid on the floor of his house, Seawatt brought pen to paper and contemplated the drawing, supported by his straightened left arm and right forearm. Sheets of papers sprawled in front of him, each personally lined vertically and horizontally into a grid – the first few were done with precision, but the later ones were less and less straight. Fine drawings turned into scribbles and then discarded. He brought his pen to his mouth, supporting his weight on his elbow rather than forearm, and chewed the cap. No, that wasn’t right either. Another crossed out line and he groaned and pushed himself back, his back hitting the frame of his bed as he fell backwards. It stung a bit. This was getting nowhere. How was he meant to get any progress done when he couldn’t even remember everything? Only a few pieces he was sure of, but not much. 

Thankfully, it was enough to practice, so at least he wouldn’t spend most of the day in an uncomfortable position trying to make sense of something to no avail.

Resolved, he uncrossed his legs and helped himself up with the frame of the bed, and all his muscles screamed in response. Clearly, being in an uncomfortable position for large periods of time wasn’t his greatest idea. His first step shot a spike through his back, and he fell on his bed, legs still on the floor. This was getting ridiculous. Of all times… 

He took in a breath. 

No. He wasn’t going to let this win against him. He waited until the sting subsided and he straightened his back, groaning as he did so. Slowly, all his muscles set back into place, tension leaving his body. He felt good enough now not to fall as soon as he stepped out the door.

As he approached the door, he took a glance at his compact ice mirror and stopped in his tracks. His hair was going everywhere, his clothes were wrinkled, his face looked like it had seen better days. He couldn’t go out like that.

—

Seawatt found his way to the practice grounds without much trouble. It helps that in his days of rest, he’d done his best to mentally map out where everything lay. He stood at the entrance, just to the side of the arena, until the last person inside left. He didn’t need anyone in there to pick up on what he was practicing. 

Setting foot inside, he realized just how big the place was now, in comparison to its previous state. A bunch of blocks in a variety of places littered the trees and ground. They truly were doing their hardest to improve their skills. He spied some fences, ice blocks, a few end rods as well.

So maybe nobody would suspect him, then. 

He set to work.

Those few jumps were engrained in his memory now, from how much he’d drawn them over and over again.

No one had gone inside since he started building the course, so he grew determined. He stared at the jumps and prepared himself for it. Once on the first rod, he knew it was going to be easy. Just a simple–

His foot landed on the rod and his muscles seized. He slipped and for a second, imagined he was over the void, about to fall down into Parkour Jail. If he fell, he’d never get anywhere. He’d be stuck forever trying to–

He landed ungracefully on his rear. The moment he was just in and the reality of the situation hit him- he could only stay sitting there as he processed his situation. Nothing bad had happened. He was fine. It was only a mistake his body made, and a practice run.

If he fell so early on in the easy and clear jumps…

He frowned. He didn’t like that thought.

“Woah, that was a dumb fall.”

The voice shook him from his daze. His heart rate picked up again in panic as he looked up at the source of the voice. Evbo was standing there, looking at him with an amused expression, although not outwardly smiling. “Do you need help?”

Seawatt scoffed and used the tree to his side as support to stand up. “No, thank you. I’m fine. I just slipped.”

“If you say so…” Evbo said, but he stayed in place. 

Seawatt’s skin pricked, as he walked to the beginning of the course. He had no choice but to do the course now. If he left, Evbo would start to suspect something. He had to come off as transparent as possible. So he walked to the start again and jumped. 

After each jump, he crouched, setting his center of balance in the middle to avoid slipping again. Unfortunately, his body wasn’t liking the very sudden movements between crouching and running into a jump, and as he prepared to stand up and take a turn, he fell face-down into the grass. Air escaped his lungs and he stayed immobile. That hurt. Without moving his body too much, he reached into his pockets and took out a golden carrot and used his hands to slowly push himself back up.

“Okay, being honest, I was just teasing then, but you’re clearly having a bad time down there.”

Seawatt rolled his eyes and sat up. Evbo was in front of him again. 

“I’m just rusty. That’s all.” He narrowed his eyes.

“Well, good thing you decided to be rusty in here, then! You don’t want to be sent down to the lower layers!”

“Wh–”

Evbo looked at him strangely. “Oh, didn’t I tell you? People have infinite tries now to get better. That’s the first change I implemented when I got into power, and my partner liked it, so he kept it. If you don’t clutch on the way down, that is.”

That calmed Seawatt down. So it wouldn’t be practically game over if he were to fall. Still not ideal, but…

“But really, you probably shouldn’t be jumping right now. I don’t know what happened to you, but that seems like a nasty wall.” He whistled. “Good thing no one else saw you. That would be very embarrassing. Good thing it was only me.”

Evbo was acting like the previous exchange from the day before had never happened. It twisted something inside him.

“Why are you telling me this?”

Evbo looked at him like he was stupid. “Because I’m here to encourage people to parkour to their heart’s content, and you clearly aren’t having fun.” He then jumped the end rods and sat on the tree, legs dangling from the top. 

Seawatt had to crawl away to still be able to see him. Normally, it would be embarrassing to be sitting on grass in the middle of a public space, looking up at someone, but for a moment, he didn’t care.

“I don’t know why you’re trying to learn when you’re clearly hurt, but hey, if you wanna keep going, I can’t stop you! I just don’t think you’re going to get any results like that.”

Seawatt looked down at his legs, but he was looking nowhere.

“How did you…” He looked up. “How did you become the Parkour God? You mentioned something about defeating the Parkour Villain and ascending, but…”

Evbo pursed his lips and looked to the sky with his arms crossed. Seawatt wondered how the sky looked without the layer of darkness everyone but Evbo and EMF saw. Was it like in his home?

“I thought I was gonna lose. The Parkour Villain challenged me to a race, but my side was incomplete. I had no way to win. So I looked at the void and jumped.”

Seawatt shook awake. He was already awake, but the words made him more aware of his surroundings than before. The blades of grass under his palms felt grounding as he hung onto them. 

“You just… jumped? You gave up? But all the time I’ve known you, you—”

Evbo shrugged. “It was all I could do. I was gonna lose anyway.” He grinned. “And I’d rather lose in a dramatic way than just stand there, you understand.”

Seawatt did, in a way. Strange to think about that. He shrunk into himself. His last words to Evbo… 

“And then…”

“Well, the Parkour God intervened, said it was time I took his place instead and gave me his sick powers. Winning was easier afterwards. I just… became Parkour.”

Seawatt hummed. “So you’ve never failed a jump after that?”

“Nope.”

Seawatt stared far and deep into the branches Evbo was sitting on. It would be so easy to prove him wrong. He reached for an end rod in his inventory and–

“Woah! Careful, there!” Evbo gracefully jumped from the tree and landed on the grass. 

Seawatt wasn’t even close enough to move a single branch, even with the help of the end rod. Even if he had been below the tree, he still would’ve had to stand up in order to budge it. It was like Evbo had read his mind. Seawatt frowned and didn’t meet his gaze. 

“Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave. Just be careful about your jumps. Make sure you’ve got a grip on the block before going for another jump, and really, did nobody teach you to take it easy when your back hurts? I’d tell you to go home and rest, but your safest bet is probably staying here for a while.”

“I can still do long jumps, Evbo. There’s a reason I managed to get here. It’s just the sudden stopping and crouching and jumping that messed me up. I know how to parkour.”

Evbo grinned in embarrassment. “Right. Didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t! I mean, you’re a Parkour Master for a reason. A Parkour… Fighter?”

Seawatt tensed. Evbo seemed to pick up on that.

“Aaaanyway. Good luck with your parkour. You’ll get it soon, I just know it.”

Evbo didn’t wait before walking away. Seawatt followed him with his gaze and had to twist around to see him jump off the park. After a moment, the tension faded away and a smile creeped into his face. He chuckled and stared distantly, until he saw his parkour course again. A new hollow feeling creeped into his chest as he looked at the end rods, one after the other. The determination he once felt dragged him down now.

 —

“You took your time,” you said when you felt Evbo materialize behind you. He used to do that to make you jump at first, but you quickly became accustomed to it, to sensing his presence even if no one else did. 

“I wanted to head down while I was at it. Visit some people I once knew, in the lower layers.”

“So, how’s the betrayer doing?”

Evbo started pacing behind you. You couldn’t turn around because you were sitting on your throne, looking at the aerial view of the city and trying to gauge what a group of people were doing. They seemed to be daring each other to make a jump, but it wasn’t a proper parkour challenge. You narrowed your eyes to get a proper view of the group and—

Well, there goes one person to the bottom. Their friends moved in a way that looked like laughing. One of them crouched until they were on four inside the block and brought their hands to their face to, you assume, yell down to their friend. They wouldn’t be able to hear. It would be some time until their friend managed to get back up to their rank, but they didn’t seem to mind.

“He doesn’t seem malicious.” Evbo finally said. “He’s still a bit on edge, but he’s not really causing anybody problems.” He then laughed. “Well, maybe except for himself.”

You turned your head, but of course, you could still not see Evbo. “What do you mean?”

“He’s straining himself, no clue why.”

You hummed. It’s true that more people have been doing their best to progress in their parkour abilities since Evbo showed them there’s many ways to push oneself, but Seawatt didn’t seem like the kind of person to push his abilities for no reason. If he was straining himself, it must be for something. You kept those thoughts to yourself. You knew Evbo would try to dissuade you from thinking that, but you have no idea why. You’ve never known Seawatt personally, but he was an instrumental piece of the puzzle for the Champion and Villain you opposed. He was not just a cog in the machine, but the motor that kept the faulty machine running until it broke. Evbo was so willing to forgive him, but you still remembered how it felt to be trapped over that void, a parkour jump away from losing his life, your own determination to not end the fight, to not claim defeat, that kept you from succumbing. When Evbo helped you with the little blocks he had, you thought you wouldn’t be able to make it, but the relief that washed over you once you finally made contact with the ground… You still remember Evbo’s grin at that moment. You were still shaken from the whole ordeal and couldn’t possibly imagine where you would end up a mere days after that. 

But Seawatt… You truly didn’t comprehend why Evbo was so willing to not only reintroduce him into society, but try to get close to him.

Your thoughts had overtaken your vision so much that you didn’t notice when Evbo had walked right next to you. 

“You should probably talk to him,” he said like it meant nothing. Like it was just as easy as that.

“Quit joking, bro,” you said. You knew Evbo enough to know he wasn’t joking.

“What?” he took on a joking tone. “You think he’s going to break the block under you? I don’t think he cares that much about becoming the Champion, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

You took a moment to think. Why did Evbo say that? 

“I wasn’t worried about that before. Should I be?”

“Nah, I already told you not to worry.”

That wasn’t a proper answer. “What makes you think he doesn’t want it, anyway? He’s not said anything about his motivations. For all you know, he wants to change the status quo.”

Evbo walked up to the command blocks and sat on top of one like he had no care in the world. Being in this position really fit him. Just seeing him… it made you feel free, even as your mind tried to work around the problems that may arise, even as you need to constantly progress at the same speed as everyone else now, if you wanted your skills not to fall to the wayside, even despite all that, Evbo helped you feel free, like parkour for its own sake really is something to strive for. He was a source of inspiration when you were tasked with helping him defeat the Evil Champion, but now, even though he literally ranked above you in a way much greater than you to the Masters, you’d never felt as equal to another person as you did then. Despite the jokes Evbo always sent, he meant none of them. He always looked up at you, pushed you to become better, to strive for more.

And at that moment, Evbo was staring at you like something wasn’t making much sense.

“Would that be a bad thing?” He suddenly said. “I mean, we changed the status quo multiple times already, haven’t we? We even provided a way up for everyone to participate in that one tournament. That’s breaking the status quo, right?” He jumped down. “And before that, you helped me defeat the Evil Champion, which had become the status quo by then.”

“Y- yes.” You thought you knew where he was going. “But he took the Old Man’s throne.”

“And when I tried to give it back to him, he refused.” Evbo continued. “It’s just a cycle of breaking what we’re used to and letting change happen. The first thing I did basically broke the whole premise of Parkour Civilization up to that point.”

“The Parkour Villain also tried to change everything. And he did - he defeated so many people…”

“And we rebuilt, and now they’re all back. We can change stuff if needed. I don’t know what you’re thinking Seawatt would do, but I don’t think something comparable to the Parkour Villain is gonna happen. He was clearly in it for his own sake, not for the Villain itself.”

“And do you know what he was in it for?”

Evbo stopped. “I can’t say that for him. You two should talk.”

“No. No way. I’ve already had enough of that man to last me the whole month.” 

Evbo walked over to the cliff and glanced back. “Okay, if that’s your decision.” 

You eyed the water bucket now in his hand. “Where are you going?”

“Lower levels.” He looked out to the world. “Not sure where yet, I’ll see where I fall.” He turned back to look at you one last time. “If you need anything…”

You shook your head. “No need.”

“Great! Be back, uh… at some point.” And off he went.

His body quickly disappeared from sight, and left you with your thoughts. 

You were going to have to do that, weren’t you?

—

Seawatt had given Evbo’s suggestion actual consideration, and he felt much better for it. Soon after he’d left, Seawatt started packing his blocks. Normally, people left their courses laid out in the open for others to also try them out, but there was nothing against getting them back, and Seawatt would rather not have to go through the hassle of explaining what he was trying to learn, or… whatever else may happen if those were found.

He stayed the rest of the day in his home sleeping, and by the time he went out the next day, his body was feeling much better.

Instead of going straight to the practice area, though, he went to the plaza – one of the many places that didn’t exist beforehand. That was something the original layer, or the versions before, had been missing — places to simply exist. There were, of course, recreational parkour courses, but at least here, there were proper places to sit and, Parkour God apparently not forbid, talk to one another without the risk of falling. He wasn’t sure what he was there to do, but he needed the fresh air, and maybe watching people would give him some sort of inspiration he was missing. He wasn’t sure how that would happen, or if it even would, but he just needed any excuse.

The plaza was tastefully black in the center and spiraling out into white at the sidelines, a beautiful glass parkour in the middle. Large trees surrounded the perimeter. 

His eyes were fixated on a person trying the challenge. Spiral and spiral, the person’s foot barely connected to the glass panes before they were off onto the next. Up in a spiral, visible from every angle. Seawatt let himself be hypnotized for just a moment by the movements. 

Was it that simple?

His thoughts were interrupted by a distant figure falling from the parkour temple, and disappearing into thin air. Huh, so that’s how Evbo got around everywhere. He’d never thought about it before, the fact that he could disappear and supposedly show up somewhere else at will. Seemed convenient.

Evbo had left to whoever knew where, meaning, his so-called ‘partner’ was up there. Seawatt looked up to the top of the temple, unable to see anything past the usual. Just a layer that hid it from sight.

A layer. Of course. Even if– it wouldn’t… he’d… but would that mean that… no. No.

Seawatt clutched his robes and shut his eyes. So much for trying to organize his thoughts. This had been a bad idea, but for once, he wasn’t sure what part of everything he was talking about. It was all just… wrong.

Before he could finish his gathering thoughts, someone stood next to his seat. Seawatt wanted to tell them off to leave him alone, but when he turned around to say that… he stopped with his mouth wide open. 

The Champion was just standing there, except, he wasn’t wearing his Champion boots.

Clever. That way he wouldn’t be harassed. But why–

“What are you doing here?” he finally said. 

EMF kept watching the person go up the parkour spire. “I assume the same thing as you.”

“Uh, no, you’re clearly standing next to me for a reason. I came here to think. You have a whole layer to yourself so you can think.”

EMF straightened their back. Seawatt knew he was pushing him, but in all fairness, all he wanted was to be left alone at that moment. EMF, by their mere presence next to him, was pushing his buttons in turn. Anyone would be. 

“What do you want?”

Seawatt was taken aback. “What do you mean ‘what do I want’? You’re the one who suddenly approached me.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Seawatt made a display of rolling his eyes and sitting back on the bench. He stretched his arms up in the air to exaggerate the movement, his head following suit. After a moment of holding it, he dropped his arms behind the backrest and let his head drop too. He was looking up into the foliage of a tree, sunlight falling from between the gaps.

“All I want…” he said, dragging his words. “Is to fix a mess that no one else dared fix in the time I was gone.”

Seawatt was still facing upwards, but at the silence that followed, he turned his eyes to the side. The Champion was looking away still, but he felt that under the white eyes of his, he was eying him back. 

“And that mess is…”

That’s it. Seawatt sprung back into place and pushed himself off the bench. Once he was on the same eye level to him, he said, “Look, I don’t have to explain myself to you. You clearly don’t want to help with what actually matters. You’re just in it for… for power? For whatever. I bet you don’t really care to listen to the people.”

“You really think that?”

At that moment, Seawatt noticed the people closest to them in the park turn glances their way. They were both keeping their voices low enough not to become the center of attention, but it wasn’t enough to dissuade the most curious people. 

“Tell me in what way the Evil Champion listened to anything anyone wanted out of Parkour Civilization. And yet, you did his bidding, you were his pawn. I don’t think you’re one to talk.”

“Maybe I had my reasons. You don’t know me.”

Apparently, he pushed just the right button with that phrase. EMF exhaled with clearly contained rage and closed their eyes. “Evbo said the same. But if you’re so secretive about it, I don’t think you have real reasons for it. You just want to feel like you have control over others.”

Seawatt scoffed and raked his fingers through his hair. “Really? Is that what you truly think?” He started walking towards him, and stopped once they were one block apart. “You honestly think that everything I’ve done so far has been to have power over everyone else?” He laughed. “You really don’t pay attention to your surroundings, do you?”

EMF tilted his head upwards in response. 

“Tell me,” he continued. “Tell me what is missing in the world and maybe then I’ll admit you have spatial awareness.”

“Missing in the world?”

“I’ll wait. Think.”

A crowd was starting to gather around them, although far enough away not to feel trapped.

EMF shook their head. “You’re not making any sense.”

That was the final straw for Seawatt. “Fine! Fine. Keep living in your perfect bubble, oh dear Champion. Keep walking around in false gold boots and continuing living like you always have, in a world where obviously I am the one who’s wrong. Go ahead, go back to your throne, Champion. I’m sure the people will love you for it.”

Murmurs started to spread through the group once he mentioned the Champion. Those uninterested in what was going on now came closer. Someone in the group spoke loudly, “Wait, is that the Champion?”

Seawatt turned to face them with a pulled grin. “Oh, yes. He’s just wearing different shoes to mix in, aren’t you, Champion?” He glanced back at him.

EMF’s hands were turned into fists, but they stayed quiet. Their eyes never left Seawatt’s face.

Seawatt hummed. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go now.” He spoke to the people, “If you want to talk to your dear ruler, you can right here! I’m sure he won’t mind to hear how all of you want him to beat you in parkour. Go ahead, come right up!”

Glances were shared among the group, until some brave people took a step forward. Soon, some lines were made. Seawatt walked between the lines and someone went and took his place. He couldn’t just end it there, so Seawatt turned around one last time to look at EMF, and the other hadn’t stopped looking at him. The random person had started talking, but nothing in his expression showed EMF cared at all about what they had to say. 

Seawatt smiled to himself as he left.

—

You feel like an idiot for deciding it would be a good idea to do what Evbo thought was best. You had to disentangle yourself from a mob of people who just wouldn’t leave you alone, and by the end of it, of course, Seawatt was nowhere to be found. You looked down at your shoes and sighed. But those things he said, they got you wondering, even for just a second.

What was he talking about? What was the thing missing?

Or was that just a tactic to get you to lower your guard? 

You didn’t like this. But you liked what was being implied with his words even less.

As you went back ‘home’, something itched the back of your head. Something that needed to come out, but it was just under the surface.

—

Evbo hadn’t been gone for such a long time in a good while. You were used to him disappearing every few days for a mere day or two, but the third day had come and gone and he hadn’t yet made his presence clear. 

Could he be in danger?

Surely, because he’s the Parkour God, nothing could’ve happened to him, but the doubt sticked in your mind. 

The last conversation you had with Seawatt came back with a vengeance. He seemed ready to do anything in that moment of anger, and you would be none the wiser if you simply stayed in your tower the whole time through. For once, something he said, you actually agreed with. You couldn’t be hiding away in your bubble waiting for Evbo to appear. If anything had happened and you’d done nothing, you’d feel like you’d betrayed him. When you disappeared, he did everything to get you back in safety, and even ensured with his help that you would become even better at parkour than you ever were before that. He would definitely be against you saying that you owed your current position because of him, after joking about it, but it would still be unfair to everyone if you did nothing.

But even beyond that, even beyond the help he’s given you and how he’s sacrificed for you, you couldn’t imagine a life without your partner at your side.

Everything decided, you went down and set for the first place you could think of.

Seawatt’s house.

—

The place stuck out like a sore thumb after all the remodelling that went on in the layer, but Evbo was insistent that at least for now, until he was able to get used to the new environment, at least that would stay the same.

You pointed out how the other people who came back didn’t get to keep their previous commodities, but Evbo reminded you that those who disappeared still had people they cared about. They could get used to the changes much more easily, but Seawatt…

Seawatt was isolated, always in his schemes. Evbo didn’t say that, but you filled in the gaps. It would be a bigger risk for everyone if he was thrusted into an unfamiliar place with nothing recognizable about it. There was always a chance that he would break under the pressure and try to come back with an army to overthrow them, causing… whatever he was looking for. It didn’t seem to be chaos. His way of presenting himself went against that idea wholly, and he sure seemed open to maintaining some sort of order in his acts. 

All that to say, finding his house among the other buildings was easy.

This time, you not only changed you boots to fit in better, but removed your crown. That had always been part of your ensemble, nothing you gained upon becoming Champion, but if there was anything you could change to be as unrecognizable at a glance, you would take it. If those who had seen you remembered your appearance beyond the shoes, then you would never be able to get anywhere.

So far, nothing had happened, in the city, and you were glad for that. So when you found yourself in front of his place, you went up the spiral staircase near it and dropped down. 

This was it.

You knocked on the door.

—

Seawatt knocked his head against the bed frame. He was again sitting on the floor mapping out the routes and writing in a separate sheet what could possibly be needed to accomplish his goal, because getting up there was just one part of the plan. He clearly had not learned his lesson from the other day, but he excused it with the fact that he wouldn’t be doing any extraneous activity that day. Surely in that case, he should be free to be as uncomfortable as he needed to be for his brainstorming. 

Those plans were completely pushed out the block gap when a sudden knock on the door brought him to the present, in the most violent, yet not pvp, way possible.

“Augh, that hurt…” he rubbed his head. What did they want of him? No one had knocked on his door before. Was it some sort of ‘welcome back’ jumpwagon? Kind of late, and too many people to go through, if that were the case. Were there some secret parkour taxes he hadn’t paid because he didn’t know about them?

As he thought of these possibilities, he yelled, “Coming!” and stumbled to the door, still rubbing his head. The world wasn’t straight and his vision blacked out for a moment, but once it came back, just a moment later, the door was suddenly in front of him.

He was reaching towards it, and he paused. 

He’d been an idiot letting them know he was home. The most likely person, or persons, behind the door were a much, much worse option than those he’d, in his dizzy imagination, had thought of. Now that his mind was straight, he could see that much clearly, but he’d already taken long enough and they would think he was doing something bad. But he couldn’t let them see the insides either.

Just in cue, they knocked on the door again. 

In a panic, Seawatt opened the door, and exited in an instant.

It was only the Champion, no Evbo in sight. And by the look of their expression, they were not expecting him to come out like that. Their eyes were fully wide, and they backed away into the wall when Seawatt all but rammed into them in order to get out. If Seawatt had been dizzy before from a knock on the door, surprise, and his head against the wall, EMF was dizzy from their own knock on the door, surprise, and their head against the wall.

Maybe they were not so different, after all.

Scratch that. It was most deserved that he’d experience that if Seawatt had to as well.

He let the Champion come back from the shock patiently. He made it seem like he was impatient, rapidly tapping his foot against the floor, but internally, Seawatt knew that speaking now, as EMF tried to orient himself, would result in nothing positive. 

Besides, he knew how it felt to be rushed when all that had just happened to you.

The wait only lasted for a moment, and EMF came back to himself at once. And he was angry.

“What- why did you do that?”

“Sorry,” Seawatt replied. “You gave me the same shock, so an eye for an eye.”

“That’s not the point of that phrase. It’s not even the full phrase.”

Seawatt shrugged, and EMF seemed to be debating with himself internally before he got the resolve to speak.

“Evbo. Where is he?”

Evbo? Huh. Seawatt had thought it strange that EMF had come down without his so-called partner like that. Sure, he’d met him a few days ago alone, but Seawatt had just seen Evbo jump down somewhere else.

Either way, he did notice his disappearance from the picture, but… he didn’t think there was an actual problem behind it. 

“What happened to him?”

Even if Seawatt didn’t know how to feel about the whole situation, with very conflicting emotions when he thought of everything that had happened and his involvement with it, about Evbo’s part in everything… he didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. Not really.

He must’ve let his worry come through in his words — embarrassing — for EMF didn’t jump to accuse him immediately. They hesitated for just a second. 

“You… you obviously know where he is,” he continued, but his voice was slightly trembling. A sign of weakness. Seawatt could try to exploit this, but what would he gain? He needed to get rid of all suspicion his way, because he wasn’t responsible for this whole mess, but lay it on too thick and he’d get another problem on his plate.

“No, I don’t. This is the first time I’m hearing about it.”

“Then let me see your house. Surely, if there’s no hints to where he is in there, you’d be fine with letting me in.”

He scoffed. “Of course not. I’m not obliged to let you in because you think I did something I didn’t. It’s my own house, and you’re coming at me with baseless accusations.” He said practically. Tried to seem reasonable, and not at all like he was actually hiding anything from him.

Good thing, then, that he would react the same way had he had nothing to hide. 

“Besides, what would I be able to do to someone who can appear and disappear at will? I know some parkour tricks, but nothing to control a god, and those tricks would require him not be able to fight back, which we already know he can do perfectly well.” He tilted his head. “So? Is that enough proof for you? Even if I wanted to do anything to him, which I don’t want to, there’s nothing I could do.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you don’t want to have this conversation inside your house. That would be way more private, you know?”

Seawatt rolled his eyes. “It’s my house. I don’t want just about anyone be able to get in. It’s my stuff, it’s my bedding, it’s my own privacy, not yours to walk around in.”

EMF finally dropped it. Seawatt waited for him to say something next, but he was out of words now, so he continued. “Why do you think I’m responsible for whatever happened? Could he not be… I don’t know, in his own space?”

“That… could be possible, but he rarely takes this long. Usually, he doesn’t like being alone in there for too long. Always ends up coming around to bother me or start something elsewhere. Even then, he’s not usually this late to show up home.”

That last word pulled a grin on Seawatt’s face. “Home, huh? So up there with him is your home?” 

EMF furrowed his brow — he had one, which Seawatt could only see now that he was this close to him, and after having to decipher his facial expressions from what little could be seen through the seemingly featureless void of his skin.

“Of course,” he said like it was obvious. “He’s my partner.” He grew silent again, then, “wait, did you think we meant ‘partner’ in the ‘work partner’ way?”

Seawatt’s brain short-circuited. Oh. Ohh… so, huh.

“Ah, I see.”

EMF looked at him in shock, and then, something happened. The sound of air coming from him, not a hapless sigh but… 

His shoulders started to shake. 

He was laughing. 

The image of the Champion, who up to this moment Seawatt had only seen serious, angry, dismayed, vengeful, annoyed, breaking apart by a simple laugh was enough to shock Seawatt into laughing himself. The conversation itself wasn’t even that funny, but the more it went on for, the harder it was for Seawatt to control himself. It started as a light chuckle in response, then he was properly laughing, and EMF’s laughter brought him back whenever he managed to compose himself for a moment. 

This… all of this was so ridiculous. Seawatt was getting dizzy again from a lack of oxygen and he rested his body against the building so he wouldn’t accidentally fall off. Now wouldn’t that be ridiculous? Thinking of it, replacing himself with EMF, brought it back fully. It hurt now. His face, his stomach, he couldn’t breathe, and his face was burning.

That went on for longer than probably was reasonable. Nothing about this was reasonable. He was with the partner of Evbo who he never got along with, after having an argument with him, laughing together endlessly after he made a senseless comment. All while Evbo was, apparently, missing.

That thought sobered him up immediately. 

EMF didn’t notice at first. Seawatt was now fully straightened looking the middle distance. Eventually, EMF caught onto his silence and he looked up. Seawatt saw through the corner of his eye how he remembered himself and stood up straight as well. Neither of them spoke, the air growing thicker and more awkward the longer it went on for. He couldn’t believe he just… did that. A new feeling of embarrassment broke through the seriousness, got a hold of his chest, and it spread to his face. Once again, his face burned, but this time, not in a good way. Oh he hated this.

He shut his eyes to drive the shame away and exclaimed, “So.” He opened his eyes. “Evbo.” He forced himself to look back at EMF, although his face was still warm from before. Seeing the Champion worried for his partner was enough to finally slow his heart down and help the blood off his face. “Is there anything he did before leaving? Something that you remember?”

EMF looked away. “We were… talking.”

Seawatt eyed him. “Just talking?”

He nodded. “He said he was going to the lower levels. Said he’d be back at some point.”

Seawatt’s eyes forcibly shined. “There we go!” he said with false optimism. “Case close, he’s still there.”

“Sure…” EMF said, “but usually what he means by that is ‘don’t expect me by sundown, I’ll be back tomorrow’.”

Seawatt exhaled and looked up to the sky, shoulders dropped. “What were you talking about before that, then? Because unless you think he somehow got overpowered by a Parkour Noob or Pro, there must be a reason in that conversation why he’s gone.”

EMF grew quiet. “Wouldn’t that be… uncharacteristic of him? He’d know I’d get worried, would he?”

Seawatt shrugged, and fell back on the wall. “I don’t know, you know him more than I do.” A glimmer appeared in his eye as he thought about that. He eyed him with a side smile. “Way more personally than me, of course.”

EMF made a guttural sound, broken off. They stumbled over their syllables, and Seawatt didn’t need to feel their face to know it must be burning. 

Seawatt’s chest felt lighter, out of nowhere. It started getting to his head. A laugh escaped his chest, he couldn’t control it.

Glancing back at EMF, he got lost in the pure white of his eyes. Somehow, despite not having any discernible pupil, Seawatt could tell the way his eyes were searching from side to side. It looked nice. 

Seawatt’s face started to get warm again.

No. Once again, he forced whatever that was down and closed his eyes. The darkness would help him clear his mind. “So, yes,” he said after remembering where he left off. “Your conversation. He must’ve said something before that… that could be a clue…” His heart was still beating harder than he’d like. He swallowed. “As to where he is.”

There was a small moment of silence in which Seawatt realized how quiet the world was as soon as one wasn’t moving around. Unless you had your head in the game, or were talking, or otherwise near people who were moving around constantly, the world was completely quiet.

That had never bothered him before.

It did now. 

“We were talking about- change.”

That didn’t seem right. Something about the way he said that didn’t seem right, like he’d changed his mind at the last second. 

Seawatt played along. “What about change?”

“Whether it’s good. In what ways it can be good, or… or harmful. What can be done about it, one way or the other. What… what do you think?”

That seemed like a trap, if Seawatt had ever seen one, but he couldn’t lie about this. He didn’t want to lie about this.

“It’s necessary, isn’t it? In some forms, at least. I’d say you two have definitely changed how things work around here, have you not? This place is unrecognizable from a year back, and even more so from before. Some changes are necessary.”

“And some are bad.”

Flashes of the Old Man appeared on his mind. His face of determination. The way his life changed radically because of it. 

“Yes,” his voice turned grave. “Yes, some are.”

Silence took a hold of them again, more serious this time, with none of the awkwardness from before. Seawatt breathed in.

He didn’t want to do this. Everything about his life up to this point told him that if he revealed his cards way too soon, to the wrong person, everything he’d worked towards would crumble down like your course after a missed jump on a Parkour Battle. 

But… it was now, or he might never get the chance to explain. And now… it wouldn’t feel right to follow through with the plan without-

“You two have- you’ve changed a lot of things but-” It was hard to get the words out. “You’re missing something, and you don’t even consider it for a moment, even when I hint at it, you just… pretend it’s not there, like it doesn’t exist. You’ve done everything no one has specifically asked for, but the one thing-” the longer he spoke, the harsher his words came out. They burned their way through his throat and out into the world. “The one change that everyone would benefit from, the whole reason why I-”

“I… don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“My layer. The ‘secret’, the ‘hidden’ layer of Parkour Civilization. The whole reason Evbo became a god and you the Champion.” He gritted his teeth. “It’s like it doesn’t matter to you.”

He clawed at his arms in the form of a hug. Rage seared under the surface, ready to boil.

—

Seawatt’s words pierced you in place. You tried to form words, but they all felt inadequate. 

Why hadn’t you done anything?

It’s true you simply weren’t able to figure out the way to bring it back, you and Evbo both tried to do it once, but everything from that encounter had still been fresh. It seemed like opening the civilization up for an attack, because surely, if the Parkour Villain still had followers on the other side, who knew if bringing the layer back would overthrow the peace you’d managed to find yourselves in.

Peace in your own world, giving second chances to everyone who fell, making parkour something to strive for rather than a mere form of living. 

In contrast to the discontent in that layer, the world still unrelenting to whoever fell into the void — even more than this side ever was, since at least parkour prison had been a thing before the second chances rolled around.

You had improved your own lives and to anyone who could directly benefit from the system as it was, but you never deeply considered the implications from what happened over there. It was like… it never existed.

Maybe you hadn’t changed Parkour Civilization as much as you had previously thought.

You didn’t fix a system, not fully. Not at all, and Seawatt was proof of that.

You stayed in silence long enough for Seawatt to shake his head. “Even now…”

He looked… defeated. You hurried to get your ideas in order, before he walked away.

“Is… no, forget that. You’re… right.”

Seawatt’s demeanor seemed to change at once. As soon as the words left your mouth, Seawatt stood straight and turned to you with wide, furrowed, eyes. His chest inflated as if to say something, his mouth opening as well. There was hope in his eyes as he searched your face for any lies. 

There was a moment in which that changed. His face lost its shine, his mouth turned into bared teeth, pushing his lower eyelids up and his brows closer together. 

“That’s it?” he said with a bite. “That’s… all you have to say to that?”

The spotlight was on you now. Like hundreds of eyes were watching you, judging your every decision up to this point. You swallowed. “No… you’re right, we should’ve… we should’ve figured it out by now,” you said, “but we didn’t. We didn’t see a way to do it, so we left it alone. Focused on what was right in front of us and…” You shook your head. “We didn’t consider it as we should’ve. That’s… that’s something we have to work on.” 

“You will.” Seawatt said with no room for questions, and took a step closer to you, then another. “You will figure it out or I’ll be forced to take it into my own hands, and I don’t think either of you want that.”

You walked back as he approached. Every step brought you closer to the void beneath, and you only noticed when half your step felt the emptiness below. At that moment, Seawatt finished talking, and more importantly, finished walking. As you processed his words, he stepped back, giving you space to breathe again. You, of course, had your water bucket handy, so there was no real threat to your safety, but the message was very clear.

You considered acknowledging the threat.

“If you did, though. If that was the case, what… do you have in mind?”

Seawatt looked at you strangely, like he hadn’t anticipated that response, and honestly, you hadn’t either.

“I… I’ve thought about it. I don’t know exactly how yet, but… I’m working on it. I already have some ideas, I just need to see if they’d work.”

That response… made sense, in a way, but it still wasn’t exactly what you were expecting. He was working on it. 

You were about to ask something that might as well break all the progress you’d made at that moment, but you had to know.

“Is that what you’re hiding in there?”

As expected, he froze. His eyes went dark. “Why do you think I’m hiding something in there?”

“Because… you’ve already admitted you have plans in place, and your reaction really isn’t doing you any favors right now.”

Seawatt looked to the door and back to you. “Don’t make me regret this.”

You nodded.

He opened the door, and the two of you walked inside.

—

“Well, that’s enough catching up now,” Evbo said from his perch on the table. “I’ve had fun, but I think I should get going now.”

His previous neighbor of the Pro layer nodded slowly. “Uh, but you were- you were very insistent on staying until… right now.”

“Yeah, but I think that’s enough now.”

“What… do you mean by that?”

Evbo jumped down the table and hopped over to the entrance. “I had to stay until I didn’t anymore.” He looked behind him. “Oh, if you want to level up to become a Master, do it while it’s still easy!”

His pro neighbor smiled in bemusement. “I… don’t understand you, Evbo. But I’m fine here. Uh, good luck?”

Evbo hummed. “I will!” then he disappeared after crossing the door.

The Pro player stood confused by the way Evbo left- as easily as he entered the first time around.

He hummed and went on with his day.

—

His partner and Seawatt were on the floor of Seawatt’s house looking over a bunch of papers when he found them. 

“There you are!”

Both jumped in sync, hitting themselves against the bed frame. He surprised his partner again, that was new. He grinned at seeing that. 

Seawatt was still rubbing his head, muttering something about ‘why that kept on happening’ when his partner stood up and in very few long steps reached Evbo.

“You… are an absolute…”

“But, did you talk?”

He stared at him, his gears clearly turning.

“You worried me so we’d talk?”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Evbo took a step back. “It was never my intention to worry you. I just thought, hey, if I’m here, they’re only going to keep making things worse, so…”

His partner turned around slightly, met Seawatt’s eyes and said, “excuse me for a moment.” He walked to the other side of the house as Evbo looked at him with a grin, and a resounding shout was heard throughout the building. Maybe outside as well. Definitely outside as well. Seawatt looked directly into Evbo’s eyes with worry. That was something

“Are they…”

His partner walked back into the visible portion of the room. They made eye contact for a moment, and they let out a weary laugh.

“Of course that’s what you were doing. Should’ve seen it coming.” He sat down on the floor again, like he’d been before Evbo appeared in the room, and brought a sheet of paper closer to him. Seawatt’s eyes stayed on Evbo for a moment longer as he slowly turned his head to the sheet of paper in his partner’s hand, then his eyes turned fully, focused on something his partner was pointing at. 

Evbo’s smile grew soft. 

“Are you just gonna stand there?” His partner looked up expectantly. 

“No,” he said, his voice brimming with affection. “No, I’m going.” 

He walked over to the pair and settled snugly at Seawatt’s side, hugged by the wall. Seawatt stared at him for a moment, and Evbo leaned forward to inspect what was written down. Silence lasted for only a moment, until Evbo said something about the plans. Seawatt started explaining after a beat, and they went back to their previous rhythm.

Evbo’s heart felt content, and looking at the other two, he knew they were too.

[brandogenius]

hear me out on this one… boygenius x protective!reader

i hear you anon! i love it!! i’m sorry i may not have done it justice! this was quite a hard one!

‼️RPF‼️

BLURB - boygenius x protective!reader

[Phoebe]

phoebe can kinda be a bit of a menace. not really aware of her surroundings. king would cross the road without looking. you having to drag her by the arm or back of her shirt - "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"crossing the road duh" "you could've gotten hurt- THERE WAS A CAR COMING STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOU”

“ YEAH WELL IT WASNT FAST SO I HAD ENOUGH TIME TO CROSS"

you're heavily considering getting one of those child leash's parents clip onto their backpack so phoebe doesn't run into ongoing traffic

“TAKING RISKS - PARKOUR” sighing into your hand watching phoebe run across ongoing traffic you walk when the LIGHT IS GREEN

[Lucy]

i imagine a situation where both of you are at a club. hear me out. masc trade who is TALLER than lucy. 5’11? you’re taller than lucy anyway

at a club and lucy asks you to mind her drink while she uses the bathroom. you protect it with your LIFE. back against the talk, hand over the top of the drink- ready to throw hands at anyone who even dares to come closer.

coming back, you hand the drink back to lucy and decide to head out and back home for the night. hand holding onto lucy’s tightly as you both walk out. you stay close, not wanting to get lost or break away. shoving through crowds, dodging anyone who tries to come over to dance or talk. you move lucy in front of you one hand on her shoulder the other intertwined as you make your way out.

[Julien]

being in the pit during concerts was an experience. whether it was a good or bad experience entirely depends. both you and julien had tickets to a concert the both of you wanted to go to. unfortunately most of the time it means queuing up early to get the best spots near barricade. but that was something you both were willing to take

managing to be the first 20 in line you got pretty good spots at barricade. julien in front of you as you were behind her. waiting for the show to start you started to realise a lot of people were shoving. trying to get a spot at barricade. going as far as shoving people who were AT barricade aside so they get shoved behind. you watched as a bunch of girls tried shoving their way towards you and julien. standing beside you, you watch them try shoving julien.

you weren’t going to let that happen no way. you moved aside, blocking their view, leaning in the middle between behind and beside julien. giving those girls no room nor access to try and sneakily get to the barricade. “you have more patience than me” julien chuckling up at you, knowing exactly what you did. “wasn’t gonna let them take our spot when we queued up for hours. it’s only fair”

[annokan]

Hitblade (rewrite)

A young girl in her mid 20s stood leaning against the wall of the house and watched the youth in front of her, occasionally smoking her cigarette. The youth was a group of pranksters trying to replicate the tricks they saw in videos on the Internet. These teenagers should have grown out of the parkour phase a long time ago, but this entertainment allowed them to forget their family life and spill out their pent-up resentment. Their troubled upbringing is what united their gang, as normal people couldn’t understand them. The leader of the group, Mark, was a slightly overweight blondie, with an attention catching patch on his face. He had a wide smile as his perky voice commanded the group. He noticed the girl and energetically waved his arms as he called out for the girl.

“Sofia, check this out! Come on, scaredy-Tom!”

He pushed his comrade standing next to him, ordering him something. He hesitated until he got a slap on the back of the head. The wimpy boy nervously, and with great uncertainty, stood on the edge of the garage roof. He bent his knees and quickly did a forward somersault, landing on his feet on the ground with a stumble at the end.

Sofia looked with regret at his friend, who was happy that he did not break his neck. strongly patted Tom on the back, making the poor guy lose his balance, grabbing onto a nearby curb. Mark always made her worry, he was a born leader, but his extremely cruel family life with constant beatings made him cruel towards the world.

“Oli-dolly, bring us some snacks, you’ll break your limbs anyway if you tried the same thing”.

Glancing towards who he was addressing, she saw a teenager with disheveled black hair, a relaxed posture as he moved side to side. His rollerblades quiet against the ground. There was barely any sympathy between Oli and Mark, and Mark made it obvious with his actions. Since Oli never took his rollerblades off, Mark only saw him as the perfect person to steal food from vendors or other sellers for the group.He was always silent and often obeyed Mark, his clear opposite. Despite his modest nature, his slightly torn and shabby clothes still hinted treacherously that he, too, had gotten into fights or endured bullying from the leader of their gang. The skater smoothly rolled towards Mark with a bag of various sweets, holding it out to him. Oli was quiet, calm and composed, with his gaze infuriating Mark, and he grabbed him by the collar, hissing threats through his teeth.

“Mark, he didn’t provoke you. Oliver deeply apologized to you before, remember? He's good underneath, and values your friendship a lot!” 

Sofia put out her cigarette and walked toward the teenagers. She was always afraid that Mark would become a petty criminal, or worse, a murderer in the future; he often beat other boys to a pulp if she didn’t interfere.

Sofia muttered worriedly, carefully placing her hand on Mark’s shoulder, who shuddered and twitched, moving away from her touch.

“We all know what a freak he is, inside and out! He deserves to be treated this way!-”

The angered boy pointed at his plastered cheek, shaking.

“And overall, he should worship me! Stupid vegan.”

Mark barked irritably, his rage-filled eyes darting between her and the silent boy that was still in his grasp. Sofia sighed and wanted to respond, but the sound of her phone ringing silenced her. She pulled out the device, reading the caller ID before answering.

She answered the call in a saccharine tone.

“Yes, sweet honeybun? Do you want to meet today? Yes, okay, let's go, same spot, same time”.

Mark and Oli, nearly forgetting their conflict, stared at her with disgust. Oli’s disgusted look quickly turned furious as he roughly, and unexpectedly, pushed his opponent’s hand away. Mark, snapping his head over to look at him in surprise, decided to drop the ‘fight’. Choosing to chew on the sweets that were given.

…

Sofia quickly ran home to get ready. She was lucky that a rich family man had noticed her. After all, the last thing she wanted was to live poorly with her alcoholic parents. She believed if she did everything to please him, he would finally leave his wife and marry her, even though she knew that all he truly cared about was her beauty.

They always met late at night when no one could see them. And this time she dressed up in the most provocative and colorful dress she owned and went to the location, a deserted road far from residential buildings, deep in the night.

She arrived before the appointed time, feeling the cold autumn wind blow against her skin and she cursed herself for not bringing her light pink fur coat with her. She could only hope her lover would come soon, and until then, she could pass the time by playing on her phone.

Distantly, a whistle could be heard. Her ears picked up on the sound, with her head slowly turning to what she assumed was the direction of where it was coming from only to find nothing. The whistle resumed, seeming to get closer and yet distant at the same time the more she looked, until the source of the whistling had made itself known right before her eyes.

A young man, wearing a cap, with his face covered, was holding something in his hand. She didn't have time to look at him overall.

All she felt was pain. Her phone flew out of her hands, sliding away from her fallen body and she could only hear a painful ringing in her ears. Something warm began to drip down amidst her blonde hair, staining the floor before she used her force to lay on her back and tried to see her attacker through her blurred vision. His silhouette stood scarily still, his hand holding what looked like to be a hammer and clenching down on it.

The girl sobbed, her voice breaking while her eyes filled with tears.

“Why, I-I didn’t do anything!”

“This is true. You haven’t done anything, no one needs you, you’re just rotting inside. Who cares if a prostitute suddenly disappears”.

            The attacker explained to her, his voice carrying no hint of sympathy while he continued to stare down at her. Sofia didn't understand, her mind getting overwhelmed with thoughts as she tried to find a reason. Was this Mark? Did he lose his temper? Was this his way of taking his revenge for all the times she separated him from the other boys? With the last bit of her force, she attempted to run away from him. Her voice died in her throat, leaving her no way for her to scream for help and instead all she could do was sob and wince from all of the pain. She could tell he was following after, focusing on the sound of something rubbing against the concrete before she was knocked down to her feet once more, her face meeting the floor and she swore she had broken her nose. She couldn't fight back, only watching an old battered hockey stick raise upwards before it landed another hit on her head.

Darkness took over her senses. She hoped this had been a cruel nightmare and that she would wake up in her bed safe and sound... But her consciousness began to slip back, her brain processing a wet sensation on her stomach before suddenly pain shot up in her system. Her eyes opened wide, and she attempted to scream from the excruciating sensation, but all she could do was gargle on her own blood.

"Don't try, I cut your vocal cords. I'm amazed you regained consciousness, honestly."

She turned her head to the right, seeing a painfully familiar face, bloody, munching on something. She noticed briefly that his hands were fidgeting, tearing some sort of rubber.

"O-Oli? What's happening?" Was what she wanted to ask, but all she could feel was pain before she let out a series of hacking and coughing sounds, saliva and blood mixing up together. The black-haired man paused, lazily looking at her widened eyes before beginning to speak.

“Do you remember how in childhood, parents said: when a person dies, his soul lives on, in trees and other vegetation. After all, the soul is in human organs, like brain and heart, when they decompose, they become one with nature. And in religions, the soul can even be reborn in animals."

The girl looked around, desperate to try and escape from the horror she was experiencing before her eyes locked onto where her legs were supposed to be, a tortured sob escaping her lips once she saw that it had become bloody scraps. Through her tears, as she frantically to look, she saw that there was no one nearby except him while both were inside of what looked like an abandoned building, her gaze locked onto the bloody tools that were scattered around before it diverted towards the corner, a dusty drum with what seemed to be bones mixed with skin poking out of it. She wanted to vomit.

“And the soul of a person is the most disgusting and corrupted thing that exists. Even children. Children are not born innocent. There is nothing salvageable in a human, you know. And after some time, I thought, what if I destroy the soul? Destroying and burying the body is not enough, I have to completely get rid of it, especially the organs. I don’t want animals and even vegetation, that are pure from human thoughts, to be ever tainted by such filth.”

He smiled lightly as he pulled out a meat cutting knife from his old backpack, examining its sharpness.

"I certainly am grateful for when you listened to my pathetic cry back then."

What was once a sweet memory had become bitter, she could still hear the sounds of little Oli sobbing into her chest due to his nightmares, after his mother showed photographs from the crime scenes that she had brought from work. Her thoughts got overridden by an intense pain in her abdomen as she winced, hot tears running down her face with her breathing growing more faint as she felt her life slip from her hands.

"But understand, all you do is corrupt other people more and more. Why girls never value themselves will remain a mystery to me."

…

The teen wanted to continue his crazy stream of thoughts, but he only met the girl’s glassy gaze. He abruptly fell silent and continued his work without speaking another word.

"Come on, they haven't caught that cannibal on rollerblades yet? The police are slacking off at this point!" 

“Have you guys heard? That maniac, Hitblade, has killed someone again! That quiet girl from the sociology department, Rebecca or Raven, whatever her name is.”

The worried brown-haired girl sat down at the table where her four classmates were having lunch.

“I heard from a YouTuber that he was so crazy that he ate his mother and lived with her corpse for several days, but the police stated the crimes were unrelated or something.” 

The red-haired classmate sitting in front of her replied grumpily.

“I’m actually terrified, guys! I work the evening shift! What if he kills me? He likes to torture his victims too, seeing them die! It’s actually scary that such a maniac lives an ordinary life among us.”  

 A chubby guy with glasses exclaimed next to the brunette.

“Yeah, and he is your boss. Pfff, Don’t worry, he doesn’t target people like you, Miriam.” 

The girl muttered nervously, lowering her head.

“Jack, it’s not out of the blue for her to worry, a lot of girls her age were targeted. Listen, what if I walk you home from work? I still need to bring a book to a friend in your dorm.”

The plump man grinned slightly. The girl was about to scold her classmate, but the quiet, soft voice of the fourth friend interrupted their debate.

 The brunette thought briefly and slightly jumped from excitement on her chair.

“Wow! Thank you! Yes, I finish at 10 pm, well, you know, usual time, usual spot, thanks again, I really appreciate your help, Oli!”

[fea-resources]

Unhinged Game Commentary As RP Starts Pt.5

Time for Dick Shots.

_____ is just a butt. He's a butt.

WE AREN'T DOING THIS HERE.

Are you two talking smack about me just cuz I can't understand ________?

What else are foreign languages good for? Just ask _______.

A lot of shit happened. A LOT of shit.

Its _______. A much happier ________. Also a much taller ________.

RIP ________. Wait. I better not say that.

As soon as that tank pops up I'm just gonna be "Nope, not gonna do this guys, not today."

NOT TODAY.

Not in the stars.

I love this area... up until Furry McFuckGoat.

Who is Furry McFuckGoat?

You'll find out who Furry McFuckGoat is.

You're in for a good time.

Wow, this ice water is so pretty, just... ROLL IN IT. It's just so pretty.

I'm the reason _______ dies guys cuz I gave him hypothermia.

How the fuck--

OH JESUS.

Y'know its a good thing none of these icicles have come off and fallen cuz otherwise you'd get skewered all to hell.

There it is, I KNEW it.

Across. Across?

ITS NOT ACROSS.

I Tarzan'd my ass right down the chasm.

Was that Furry McFuckgoat?

They're coming. Soon.

o h g o d.

*sings* More water that's cold as Hell~ HYPOTHERMIA~!!

HEEEEY. THERE THEY ARE.

Nope. Stay away from me. I don't wanna get hit.

OH GOD NO JESUS--

*sings* Get the Hell away from meee--*squeals* NO.

Oh dear lord-- I GOT STUCK.

DIE. PLEASE DIE.

MEMO TO ME. MEMO TO ME. DO NOT GO INTO THAT CORNER.

AH--

SWEET JESUS CHRIST.

*gasps* you'RE A DIIICK.

ANGERY GOAT MAN.

OOoooh my god. My chest hurts. From the panicking.

SO ANGERY GOAT PEOPLE.

We can look at how weird they are-- ...okay, I'm gonna look at how weird they are by myself then.

Guess we're gonna meet the whitewalkers, guys.

...'til you died to dead.

What if the ________ had like secret vaults or whatever that were insanely complicated to get into like this?

Nah he got them magnificent rabbit legs. He Jomp.

________, its time for you to learn an important lesson on being a ______: Hardcore Parkour.

Today is the day you learn to fly, boi. Go.

"Learn how to fly, boi." Wow, is this Lord of the Rings?

WOOOW okay, I don't know how that happened but I'm gonna take it.

RIP _________. May he forever grace the afterlife with his vibrating.

Yeah, there's the fun way out of here.

Furry McFuckGoat brought his friends.

Yank that motherfucker!

JEEESUS WHERE THE SHIT-- WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM.

I-- somehow avoided that.

Theeey'rre heeerrreee. Angery goat people.

Death by Dickshot.

You missed Furry McFuckGoat, but not the ________.

Tanks for the heads up~ *wink wink*

Wanna know what I did all day today? Too bad because I'm gonna tell you anyway.

HQ to ______ -- HQ to _______ -- we have lost contact.

You're not fancy.

Fucking twirl!

Took that like a champ!

FuCK. I dropped the gun that I didn't want to drop.

Wow, you had to throw the gun that way?

Are you dead?

Peek your head out. I'm pretty sure you're still alive.

FUCKING EAT IT, SHITHEAD.

Wow, that was a fucking wake-up call.

NO, BYE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALIVE.

Thanks for the grenade, I need it a lot more than you.

OVERSHOT IT, but whatever, so long as you die. Byye.

Are those bullets? yeeeah. Are those grenades? YEEEAAAAH.

WHO-- WHAT--

NO, YOU SEE THIS SHIT THROUGH TO THE END.

ZIG ZAG.

Oh... I don't like that metal on metal sound.

I think that was a kidney shot, I'm not 100% sure.

Oblivion. You're going to oblivion.

Wrong game.

ROLL. ROLL A LOT.

God damn, I do not appreciate being shot at.

Come on, I would think RPG is fucking universal language! do you have an RPG?!

Watching ______ shoot people is like watching them play duck hunt. (Insert annoying dog laughter at every miss)

Was that overkill? Maybe. Do I care? No.

AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

ZIG ZAG TIME.

FHAAAK MY LIFE YOU ASSHLE.

Its a tank, how scary can a cow on wheels be?

Hijack it. Hijack it and conquer your fears.

He went places.

RPG? PLEASE? RPG. GUYS.

RPG! NOPE. Its mine now.

Yoink.

Dramatic ass death. Clutching his chest as if he just got dumped by his baby blue.

Nice shooting, Tex.

Okay, he died. That's great.

Gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun.

Its only death, _______, walk it off.

Oh, wanna know what I learned about myself yesterday? Too bad again because I'mma tell you anyway -- again.

How to kill an edgyboi trying to be an asshole in less than 3 seconds -- not take his insult as an insult.

OO-- AA--

We were beginning to think the 8 year old went feral and ate you.

Hey you never know. He might just do it one day. Children are statistically more likely to eat you than an adult.

Children are scary things.

I can believe it.

The entire time they were eating your fucking organs everyone else would be saying "AWWWW SO CUTE".

C A R N A G E.

Married people are wild, man.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANNA DO THIS TODAY, I mean... first the tank, and then the cars, although the cars... I just... fucked them up. Just fucked them up, right off a cliff.

The couch is trying to eat me.

Oops-- YOU DIDN'T SEE /SHIT/.

Just threw ______ off the side of the cliff.

Took him out Achilles style.

Dodged that by the hair of your balls.

Let me see if I can... shove you... BYYYEEE.

I'm a vindictive bitch.

Bury him in the abyss.

Sounds like an old lady farting.

Goodbye to your legs.

Peek a boo with guns.

I would really appreciate it if someone would give me a grenade.

Man, he's rolling over there trying to be fancy. You're not fancy.

WOOOO, MAN, SHIT, FUCK.

You trying to gunslinger me? Heeellno.

Fancy feet.

Don't be like fancy feet, be an elite.

WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CLOSE TO ME.

No, stay your asses on that side of the bridge.

Stop giving me heart attacks over here, I don't need them.

Man, let me tell you, I would'a ended up throwing that up and I would've ended up throwing it behind me.

Did we say rope? We meant hope, as in an intangible thing that doesn't exist.

That went dark.

Not nearly as dark as my outlook on life. Or as dark as my prospects of a future. But who needs tomorrow?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO THROW MY GRENADE, WHAT.

There it go. Nyoom.

The void appreciates your contribution.

I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT THE FUCKING GRENADE.

Look at them flappy flags -- how they so flappy? It cold as fuck.

Subtle? What's that. I don't know what that is. Not now, not ever.

The only thing subtle here is your ability to shoot everyone in the goddamn dick without even trying.

LISTEN, leave-- leave my aim out of this.

I will leave your aim out of this when you stop handing out dick shots like Halloween candy.

I believe I can flyyyyy.

Launch backwards.

Come here guy. Come hereee.

Bye. Jackass.

Maybe I should keep the SASS.

"______ you were supposed to be subtle." There was nothing subtle about this shit.

There was no reason for the yoink.

Drop down ______, Jesus, why did you have to be ExTRA.

Unfortunate. My jokes will be less appreciated due to ill timing now. Truly a tragedy in three parts. 

Everyone named ______ is Extra.

Today you taught that man an important lesson... a lesson in flight and physics. And that lesson is that people can't fly.

Well I shot him in the dick and it might've been just a little too on-point.

Long Time No Fuck My Life.

hSSSSSSSSSS.

It didn't let me-- crap that time.

SHOVE THEIR CORPSES INTO THE ABYSS. AS VENGEANCE. THEIR SOULS CANNOT ASCEND. LET THE VOID CONSUME THEM.

You jinxed it.

I hate you for having that fucking good aim.

If I heard that in my last seconds of life, I would resurrect just long enough to kick them in the balls so goddamn hard they'd invert into a Y and never return to normal.

Mmmm gratuitous ass shot.

Where is the dragon sniper because I really, really, really would like to have it right now.

I wouldn't mind getting shot by you in real life as long as I got to hear some of this quality commentary before dying.

I think ______'s just a lil bitch and died of a splinter. Can take a hole in the liver but not a splinter. Anything but a splinter.

You said no -- but mommy said yes.

Better not-- Better fucking not!! ...Okay.

WHY IS THE BRIDGE JUST NOW BREAKING.

PLOT INCONVENIENCE.

Come on _______, squirrel your fucking way up there.

The amount of splinters...

Them pants are tighter than they are thicc.

YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING YOU NEED A GRENADE, BUT WHEN THEY OFFER IT YOU'RE LIKE "Naaaaah".

(blu q. kazoo voice) SUSPICIOUUUUUSSS.

Hey ______... what brings you here... behind this crate?

That gasp of realization was the best.

No, that "FRUCK" was the best.

Heeeey did you drop your gun? No you didn't, you're an asshooole.

The eight year old ate them.

They got V O R E D.

Get outta here with that.

Gonna replace the word bored with vored now just for the fuck of it.

DICKSHOOOT. It was on purpose.

I need a word for dick that rhymes with shot.

Because that's average. Everyone expects "cock shot" but who's gonna see "shlort shot" coming?

I'm shlort sighted.

You killed me the last time and I did not appreciate that one bit.

If you're going to be launching 'nades, you gotta expect to get shot in the nads by the one and only vibrating Nate.

I'd be vibrating too if I was being shot at all day, my fucking nerves would be fried.

I did not like that-- that-- that was not cool.

I didn't see the rope and I thought you finally launched yourself. I was proud but also upset because that seemed like the most disappointing launch.

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY--

Twirl hunny twiirl.

Can't believe I wanted to hang with someone who can't even appreciate Skyrim Shuffle. What a disappointment of a stoner.

Just dies and flips into the void.

New test on anyone who wants to be my friend -- has to appreciate the Skyrim Shuffle.

I wanna die that way. Just be staring into the void debating my life, then suddenly "Bye Bitch". I'd start laughing. I'd die laughing before I hit the ground.

I'd die laughing on a roller coaster if my organs weren't shoved into my throat.

Prepare to be Swiss'd.

Are you firing stink bombs?

Shot his ass off. Literally.

NOPE. Get shredded.

BABY BELL IN THE HOUSE, BITCH.

A WHITE PERSON WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE CHEESE? DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT BABYBEL IS.

Have you ever had double cream brie with black truffles? THEN GET OUT OF MY FACE, CHEESE HEATHEN.

That wasn't the ________ sound. That was the Furry McFuckGoat sound.

That's a god damn butt plug. A very sharp one.

Smooth things over with him via a shot in the back of his goddamn skull.

I slipped and it fell into the void. That's what you tell them.

I don't think they can use the void as an excuse.

IS THAT A PIG ON FIRE?

We've established that he likes me better than you.

God that'd be a great way to go...  direct hit with an RPG. Just... feel something whack me in the back then KABOOSH.

Your bullet count was 69 there for a moment and that was pretty rad.

I'll boost you! Off the side of a fucking cliff.

Oh look -- its a life-sized statue of your ego.

Prepare yourself. You're about to get one of your many wishes.

Vore? Are you sure its not vore? That's a lot of mouths.

No its Furry McFuckGoat and his friends.

I'd SCREAM OF JOY IF MY THROAT WASN'T FUCKED.

You just got pounded by a furry. How you feel about that?

Just getting straight up gangbanged here.

I'd kill him so he didn't get the satisfaction of seeing it all. DIE, CURIOUS HOE.

I am a far bigger dick than the Russian.

Good aim for being stiff.

They're fucking dead and still better at aiming than you.

_______ WAS beautiful, til ______ ruined it.

There's always time to sight-see, you stupid slut.

Catch me enjoying the scenery outside the vehicle of my killer's vehicle. Catch me asking if we can stop and get a slushie at this nice slushie stand before I die.

He's a Russian -- he's already immortal.

[nerdytextileartist]

Roy and Lian Harper in “Rules For My Dating Teenage Daughter”-Part 1

In the Titan Tunnels, Roy is sitting at a table, replacing the string of his recurve bow. Across the table, Lian is watching him. Lian: So, what was your first date like? Roy, looking up: Who are you askin' out? Boy? Girl? Enby? Lian: Eugenia Espinosa. She's in my math class. (growing more smitten) She's tall, she has a backpack with all these cute little patches, she can jump a fence wearing a long skirt. Roy: Hm. So, is she into parkour? (Lian nods)  What do you got planned if she says “yes”. I could see you two jumping around Alley Town, watching the sunset. Lian, uneasily: Yeah, something like that. It's weird. I've probably seen her around Gotham for the last three years and never really noticed her 'til now. Does she even like me back? What if I ask her out and she just looks at me like "Eww, get away from me"?! Roy, setting down his bow: Okay, story time. (Lian perks her head) You asked me what my first date was like, so here we go. Lian turns her attention to Roy. Roy: This takes place during a time some people would call "Teen Titans: Year One". Dick, Wally, Donna, Garth and I just defeated Antithesis and saved the Justice League. All of us were riding that high and it was then when I decided to shoot my shot and ask Donna out. Lian: She said "yes"? Roy: Yeah. When I went back with Ollie, I asked to borrow the Arrow Car. He said "no", but I got him to change his mind. Lian, skeptical: Weren't you like my age when you joined up with the Titans? How did you not get pulled over by the cops? Roy: Honestly, I have no idea. Then again, Donna's favorite spot was a pretty secluded beach, but anyway, Ollie told me these three rules- "Don't bring her home, don't knock her up, and don't wreck the car". Lian: You wrecked the car. Roy, laughs: That was pretty obvious. Lian: How'd it happen? What happened with you and Donna? Roy: Remember Donna's favorite spot? After I picked up Donna in the Arrow Car, I drove over to the beach and we walked along it and we, uh, talked, as the sun went down. When we went back for the car, it was gone. Donna wanted to call Ollie and Titans for help, but, dumbass that I am, I insisted on finding the car myself and decided to give Ding-Dong Daddy's chop shop a visit. Lian: Ding-Dong Daddy? Roy: Our villains had some dumb names back then. Anyhoo, Donna and I tracked the Arrow Car down, but, uh, Daddy had already modded the car with a machine gun and was getting to run me over, but Donna slammed her fists down on the hood and totaled it! (sighs) I wish I could say that I thanked her for saving me and that we explained everything to Ollie, and we lived happily ever after. Lian: It didn't go like that. Roy: I yelled out her and told her that I didn't need help from a girl and told her to go home. She left and I called a tow truck to take me and the car back to Ollie's. Beat Lian: That can't be the end of the story! Did you apologize to Donna? What did Dick, Wally and Garth say about this? Roy: I'm getting to that. So, I'm in the tow truck with the driver and I'm still pretty steamed. Flashback- Roy as Speedy is in the passenger seat of the tow truck, fuming. The driver is a man with a hunched back. The Driver: Really did a number on the engine block. Did you drop a boulder on it? Speedy: My date punched it. Driver, blinking in disbelief: Huh. Now, why would she go and do a thing like that? Speedy: I had the guy in my sights! I would have stopped him and the car! She didn't have to do anything! Driver: Seems to me that she didn't want to see you become roadkill. I've been there before, wanting to prove that you're capable, that you have the right stuff. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing wrong with wanting to jump in and help people you care about. Speedy huffs. The driver is silent. Speedy: Stop here.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Some Screenshots of Briar and her Janitor Friend

Imagine being this guy. You just come in to do your job and a pair of creepy pink eyes is just looking at you. He works there so he has to know what kind of prisoner there is. Or at least some ''not to do'' so he doesn't let her free by accident. (Briar normal vision.)

Him watching her destroy the guards.

Him watching her parkour her way out. It seems Briar doesn't realize he wants to leave her behind.

Him outrunning her scream attack. Not how the sound works but anyway, this guy has some speed.

Briar rushing at him. ( Her ''Demon'' form vision. I think it's the same as her regular form vision. The lighting is just different.)

''That was the moment that he knew . . . he fucked up.''

Briar about to kill and eat him but she remembers ''Fish Friends are not food.'' The janitor didn't even try to fight or anything. He just saw her maul down all the guards, so I guess he decided not to move, accepted his fate, and hoped for the best.

He watches as her pillory traps her again. He must be thanking whatever God there is LOL (I don't know everything about the lore.).

Him fainting with open eyes (Is it possible? I always thought the eyes would close.) and Briar looking at him like ''Are you okay, friend?''.

You know what? I'm tired of referring to him as just the Janitor/Friend. As one of only three people who care I take the initiative to come up with a name for him. His name is Jan. A Polish name because I'm Polish and Jan is a common/generic male name. Also, it's a part of the Jan-itor.

If he has a cannon name do tell me.