#“Alchemy items” oh what type of alchemy? Don’t ask questions. Who do you think you are? Casey?

[certainchaostyrant]

So we know that in the novel that ludger cherish is compared to a raven, he has that whole dark aesthetic going on, and not to mention one of his identities uses a plague doctor mask which is very “raven” looking (idk if that one’s a stretch or not). But he also is highly intelligent, and mimicry- something that ravens are known for- is something he does with ease. (also fun fact that I didn’t know until comparing the two, ravens uses ‘non-verbal’ or ‘hand gestures’ to communicate, and in the manwa you can clearly see that ludger cherish often uses his hands when speaking. And I thought that was funny.)

so what if he also liked collecting shiny things like ravens as well? We already know he can easily be swayed by money yeah? So my personal head cannon, Heathcliff/ludger cherish, loves to collect shiny things. That shiny Little Rock (his), that shiny thing that came out of Quasimodo (snatched), that cute little hair pin (finders keepers). But not just shiny things, things like books as well. That small notebook sized dictionary (might as well), that thick book that’s really far too inconvenient to lug around? (Who’s gonna stop him? Casey? She’s currently helping him.)

[high-fantasy-sw]

Worldbuilding Wednesdays: The Magic System PART ONE :D

(OH MY GOSH I AM SO SORRY THIS IS A WEEK LATE)

There are two kinds of magic: Artificial Magic and True Magic. (There’s also what I call “Natural Magic”, but that is the kind of environmental magic that is the result of this being a fantasy setting- you know, the magic that is inherent to fantasy flora and fauna. It’s not a type of magic that can be used, per se, except in the casting of artificial magic.)

Artificial Magic: Also known as alchemy, this is the kind of commonplace enchantment that allows life to progress in the Galactic Archipelago. It is cast through the use of naturally magical resources, which are either used as raw materials to make an item itself (ex. hypersails, blaster arrows) or made into an elixir or like, battery (if that makes sense) which then enchants an object (ex. holograms, the enamel coating on Clone armor).

Examples: 

Hypersails are the equivalent of hyperdrives because spaceships are boats now. They are sails woven out of cloth sourced from the feathers of Varactyls, and provide a ship with extended speed, as though there was a perfect, strong wind in the sails (regardless of whether or not the wind is actually there), for up to an hour (they must then recharge). However, the enchantment on the sails is extremely fragile, and any damage to the sail itself will cause it to stop working (though it will work again as soon as the damage is mended). The original hypersails were infused with the baleen of Purrgil Whales, before they (supposedly) went extinct- in fact, due to overhunting for their baleen- and surviving Purrgil hypersails are prized for their durability and the longevity of their speed enchantment.

Weapons, especially ranged weapons, are often crafted with naturally magical resources. The best example of this are the arrows utilized in the Galactic Archipelago, which are made from a variety of materials that, in addition to granting them heightened speed and accuracy, cause them to glow a plethora of colors (the most common being blue or red). 

Hologram Mirrors, used for communication over long distances and, occasionally, for recording and storing information, are… okay. The best way to explain this would be to compare them to The Obsidian Mirror from the Wings of Fire books, but that might not be helpful if you haven’t read those books, so I’ll try to explain it for those who haven’t. Basically, holograms are small, hand-sized mirrors, coated with an elixir that causes them to establish a connection with each other (i haven’t exactly worked out how this works yet, so bear with me for now). The elixir, during communication, projects a three-dimensional figure of the opposite party onto the surface of the mirror, and will do so as long as the party in question is reflected in the mirror. 

Medicine is largely aided through the use of elixirs, used as healing potions or at the very least as painkillers. I think this is pretty self-explanatory and don’t feel the need to explain it more here; if you do happen to have more questions about this, don’t hesitate to shoot me an ask.

Practical Uses, such as household products and protective and archival preservers. For example, Clone armor is made of metal, but coated with an enamel layer that protects it from corrosion, especially since the Clones spend such extended periods of time on the Great Sea.

Stay Tuned for Part Two, which I will release as soon as I figure out how to explain The Force without getting confusingly theological :)

[ellitx]

Beguilement | Albedo x Reader

Klee asks for Albedo’s help to make bombs with her.

word count: 2.9k

           “What are you doing?”

            Albedo peered at you from the corner of his eyes, raising an eyebrow why you were holding his cheek. His work ceased when he felt your warm hand touched his face, bringing down the papers on the desk.

            “What am I doing?” You echoed with a slight tilt of your head. “I’m checking if you’re okay. You’re overworking yourself again.” You sighed, placing your hands on your hips. 

            “I’m not.”

           He latched his gloved hand on yours and bring it down back to your side. “Hm…” Your [eye color] eyes had a tint of a doubtful frown as you pout. Seeing the Chief Alchemist stuck in his research lab worried you. It’s been a while since you’ve last seen him and that’s why you’re here today.

            He didn’t mind when you waltzed in suddenly while he was mixing different kinds of herbs. He knew you wouldn’t cause a ruckus inside considering how dangerous his and Sucrose’s works are.

            “Klee really wanted to play with you, you know.” You started and took a sit on a nearby chair in his workshop. 

            “And so are you.” He placed back the various types of equipment to their rightful place and chuckled when he noticed your cheeks reddened. 

            “I—!”

            “Albedo!!” The door slammed open surprising the two teens. The said male felt someone glomped onto his leg. He looked down and saw the Spark Knight wrapped her little arms on his leg so tightly, her ruby eyes scintillating so brightly that was donned with a big grin.

            “I saw the sign wasn’t in your door anymore!! Does that mean you’ll play with Klee?!”

            Albedo rested his hand on the top of her head but threw a confused glimpse at her. He’s a hundred percent sure last time he checked, the “Experiment in Progress” sign was still hanging to let everyone know he’s busy.

            His aquamarine eyes landed on you who was innocently reading his notes, awing at his written discoveries and sketches of a place you've never seen before. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, heaving a sigh. The Kreideprinz knelt down before Klee and ruffled her big red hat whose eyes were bright as the sun and smile so innocent.

            “Yes. My research is almost done so might as well take a break.”

            Your ears perked up at his words and lifted your head away from the notebook. “If that’s so, then I wanna make more bombs with you!!” The child tugged his lab coat and pulled him to the table, laying her hefty backpack on the chair. 

            She let out her collection of bombs to the Chief Alchemist and stretched her arms to showcase her invention. “Ta-da!! I tried to make a different Jumpty Dumpty!” Albedo placed his fingers on his chin as he inspected the object.

            You peered over his shoulder and eyes glimmered admiring the cute little red bunny device. “Woah!! This one seems different from your usual Jumpty Dumpty, Klee!” You leaned against him to get a closer look. 

            The blonde child giggled but let out a yelp when she felt that her feet weren’t touching the ground. Her small hands were now laying on your shoulder as you carry her small stature in your arms.

            The Alchemist’s focus was now on the timer hidden behind Jumpty Dumpty, surprising him. “It’s dangerous if we keep the bombs here. How about we go to Stormterror’s Lair to test it out?” His suggestion made the two girls looked at him with sparkling eyes and nodded eagerly.

            You put down Klee and helped her pack her stuff back inside her backpack. Both of you were chanting happily making the corner of his lips tugged upwards at the adorable scene. 

            “Well then,” He said, taking their attention. “Let’s get going.”

            Before Master Jean scolds us. He said to himself, sweat dropping.

            Both of you threw your arms in the air to cheer. Before you head off, you hung the strap of Klee’s bag on your shoulder and patiently waited for her to come to your side. She clutched your hand a bit tightly but one that won’t hurt you.

            Albedo took his own satchel and kept his notebook and some other materials needed in their experiment. He left a little note for Sucrose, letting her know he’ll be away for a while in case she goes looking for him. 

            Once he was ready, the two girls were already outside the room sticking around until he appears. Klee beamed in delight and grabbed his hand tugging both of you together. She was in the middle while you and Albedo were by her side.

            She started humming joyfully and marched towards the exit. 

            “Klee, Albedo, [Name], and Dodoco are off to Stormterror’s Lair!!” You chuckled at her cute declaration whilst she swung both of yours and Albedo’s arms, sauntering to the old ruins to do the experiments.

  —

             “We can try using flaming flower stamen.”

            “Oh, you mean those burning flowers?”

            Albedo nodded as he tinkered with the Jumpty Dumpties, and letting out the contents carefully on the cloth. 

            “There are few scattered around here, so it’ll be no problem for us to find one.” He lifted up his goggles, placing them atop of his head. 

            “Oh! Klee knows all the locations!!” The said girl jumped from her sitting position, raising her hand like how a student wants to be called by their teacher. “There are few around the lair and some almost at the end!”

            “Waaah!! That’s Klee for you!!” You praised her as you pat her head fondly. She giggled hearing your flattery and clasped your hand with hers. “I’ll go look with big sis [Name]!”

            “Ah, wait—!” But before the Chalk Prince can stop them, both of you were already running carelessly in search of the flaming flowers. He sighed in defeat and continued tinkering with the gadgets.

            Not even a minute later, he heard a loud KABOOM and the cries of the hilichurls in the distance. Several monsters flew in the air and slowly dropped onto the ground while some slimes were running for their lives.

            Thank goodness your vision wasn’t Electro or else the elemental reactions between yours and Klee’s attacks will cause massive damage to the ancient city.

            Sighing for the umpteenth time, his focus went back on dabbling with the bomb, pretending he wasn’t involved with their mischievousness.

  —

             “Oh! We should bring some bone samples for Sucrose for her research!” You exclaimed, watching the hilichurls’ bodies disintegrate in the thin air. You picked up the arrowheads and some horns from the ground left by the monsters.

            “Klee will gladly help big sis!” Your shoulders shake with laughter and ruffled her hair. “And I’ll happily accept your offer~”

            “I think she’ll accept anything as long as their bones, right? I did see some of her collections…” You muttered to yourself as you looked around the area to find anything interesting. 

            “Does fish blasting work as well to find bones?” Klee questioned innocently whilst holding her Jumpty Dumpties in her hands ready to throw them away. “No, Klee. Fish blasting is not good. If Master Jean caught us, you’ll be confined again!”

            “B-but… I’m sorry… Please don’t get mad at Klee.” She clamped her hands behind her back, eyes cast downwards turning glossy. Your heartstrings tugged and felt like an arrow pierce right through you, immediately feeling guilty at your words. 

            “Ah… Klee, I’m not mad! I was… I was worried about you, that’s all.” You raised her and carried the little girl between your arms and nuzzled your noses together. Her ruby eyes brightened up and giggled, slithering her arms around your neck to hug closer.

            “I can’t bring myself to get angry at you and Dodoco! I cherish both of you!” 

                      “Is big sis [Name] saying she loves me and Dodoco?” 

            “Absolutely!” You puffed your chest like a proud mom and rested one hand on your hips.

            “Klee and Dodoco love you too!!” 

            The two of you shared a few laughter and wholesome moment. From the corner of your eyes, a camp of hilichurls spotted you both, ready to attack. You shared a glance with the Spark Knight then smiled, sharing the same ideas. 

            “Hilichurl bones would be a good sample for Sucrose’s research!”

  —

             The Chief Alchemist was busy gathering glands from the frogs, carefully extracting the mucous from them. Others would be grossed out seeing this, but for him— it’s almost like an everyday habit for him to perform this.

            He became inquisitive and wondered where you and Klee are. You were just going to gather a few flaming flower stamens, why are you taking so long? 

            Too distracted from his concern for your state as well as Klee’s, he didn’t notice a figure creeping behind him. Albedo’s perception then blackened and a shiver ran down his spine when he felt something blew on his ears and whispered. 

            “Guess who’s back?”

            His fingers wrapped around your wrist and gently pulled down your hand back to your side. His eyes were met with your own [eye color] gems as you smiled down at him. 

            “You’re finally back.”

            “Bzz! Wrong!” Your arms formed an X, indicating his incorrect answer. The Chief Alchemist snorted at your childish antics, failing to see the Pyro-vision user jumped on him.

            “Albedo, Albedo!! We brought the flaming flowers! Oh, and we also got these!!” The child poured out all the contents inside her bag and showed them to him like she won the biggest prize. Various materials were scattered all over the ground; masks, horns, arrowheads, scrolls, and a bone…?

            “So that’s why both of you haven’t come back for a while.” He observed the items gathered together and nodded to himself. He didn’t dare questioned them what and why were there cartilages included. 

            His eyes caught onto the flaming flower stamen. The cores were still emitting heat even though it was already extinguished. This can be a good time to create a flaming essential oil. The needed ingredients were already here, all he needed to do was to create it using alchemy.

            Good thing they don’t need to come back to Mondstadt just to make a simple potion, as long as the Chief Alchemist is with you, he can create anything. He put out a portable alchemic table— one of his inventions— and commenced to perform his alchemy.

            You and Klee watched him crushed the stamen until it turned to small particles. He then poured the extracted frog’s gland and mixed it together. The scent was odd and strong making you almost puke. How in the world can this man handle the smell?!

            Klee almost looked like she was about to faint as she held on to your coat to maintain balance. Albedo apologized and told you you can take the mint grass inside his satchel to get rid of the smell. 

            Wow, he’s already prepared…

            It brought a smile to your face at the thought of it. You rummaged inside his bag and saw the mints were kept inside the ziplock pouch. You motioned for the little girl to come with you, straying away from the Kreideprinz’s works as to not ruin it, and opened the pouch letting the cool smell waft around you.

            You both breathed a sigh at the refreshing air, forgetting the awful smell that lingered inside you minutes ago. Albedo was already done making the essential oil and attentively spewed the liquid in one of Klee’s bombs.

            A small smoke emitted from it and he cautiously set the cover back to its place. 

            “Is it done?” You asked. The male shook his head and threw the device at an empty area to see the result. He told you to stay back as he used his geo skill to cast a shield to all of you. A sound of a clock ticking can be heard from it and the three of you patiently waited for the outcome yet nothing happened.

            “Did it fail…?” Your question was answered when you sensed the ground shook and a massive outburst greeted your view. Your mouth gaped open in shock and awe, watching many sparks flew in the air almost resembling fireworks during Ludi Harpastum Festival.

            Klee was the one who’s more amazed than you, her eyes wide open and crimson orbs sparkling in admiration at the tremendous explosion. 

            “Waah!! Klee has never created a big kaboom like this in her entire life!!” She faced Albedo and tugged his coat repeatedly. “Can you please teach Klee how to make that? Please please please pleeease with a cherry on top?”

            The male furrowed his brows, slightly troubled whether he should accept it or not. He was quiet for a while, still contemplating his decision. His eyes darted to where you were standing to ask for help but when he turned around, you were gone. 

            In his rear vision, he noticed you used your elemental skill to stamped out the burning grass. His face paled and heart raced when you knelt down and slowly approached the small remains from the bomb to touch it.

            Albedo immediately dashed towards you and extended his arm to reach for you. He screamed your name so loudly surprising you. You felt your hand heating up and your instincts kicked in telling you to run away, but even if you do so, a bright light has already blinded your eyes and ears ringing from the loudness of the bomb’s blast.

  —

             “What are you doing?”

            You peered at the male from the corner of your eyes, raising an eyebrow why he was holding your cheek. Your hands stopped midway from the plate when you felt his warm hand touched your face, bringing down the spoon on the table.

            “What am I doing?” He echoed with a slight tilt of his head. “I’m checking if you’re okay. Your face is red again.” He sighed and took out a thermometer to check the reading. 

            “I’m not!” 

            You latched your hand on his and bring it down back to his side. “Hm…” His turquoise eyes had a tint of a doubtful frown as he sighed. For some reason, this brought a sense of deja vu to him.

            Your behavior was odd after the explosion incident. You’ve been so cold towards him, making him slightly worried. He knows it was his fault that caused you like this, but he didn’t expect you’ve been so hostile to him these past few days.

            It’s like a sudden switch of personality.

            Every time he checks up on you, you just puffed your cheeks and turn your head. He asked the other Knights of Favonius about your condition and all they said was you were perfectly fine.

            How is this perfectly fine?!

            “[Name]!!” The door slammed open surprising the two teens. The said female felt someone jumped onto her bed, making her stomach hurt at the sudden weight. “Klee is so worried about big sis! When I heard you were sick, Dodoco and I were going to give you gifts! Klee thought you were fine yesterday. Diona even said she saw you going to the plaza—“

            “A-Ah— you and Dodoco brought me gifts? That’s so sweet of you! Ahaha..” Your nervous chuckle made the Chief Alchemist raised his brow at you in suspicion. You were fidgeting underneath the bedsheets and avoiding not looking at him in the eye.

            “Klee, what did Diona said about [Name]?” The girl’s attention went to him before she could rummage inside her bag. “She said that she saw big sis walking around the plaza!”

            “K-Klee!!” Your face flushed even more than before. You were stammering so much and you felt like the world was spinning around. 

            Albedo wanted to confirm his suspicions, and so he kept on pushing questions at the little girl, ignoring your attempts to shush him.

            “What kind of gifts are you going to give to her?”

            His question quickly made you sat up and threw your pillow to his face. “Th-that’s none of your concern!! It’s something private okay?!”

            “[Name] told me if I can give her the bombs you made to me. I tried to copy what you did and she seems satisfied with it!”

            Your hands were flailing in the air, not knowing whether you should continue pressing the pillow on Albedo’s face or to cover your face in embarrassment. You didn’t want to clasp your hands on Klee’s mouth to silence her, she might get hurt from your sudden actions!

            Bombs? What is she going to do with those?

            He snapped out from his train of thoughts then eyed you conscientiously. His brain connected the pieces of information together. The heat from your body, the smell of the mint grasses, and a faint of ash from it made sense. Especially how your body temperature dropped all of a sudden.

            He grabbed your wrist and intertwined your fingers together as he pressed his forehead with yours. The close proximity between you two made your head go blank and your attention was solely on his eyes, mesmerized by their colors.

            Klee naively looked at you two with a curious gaze.

            Your body heat skyrocketed and your lips quavered after his words reached your ears.

            “You know, you could’ve just told me you wanted me to take care of you instead of putting an effort to do this.”

            Your shoulders shook in aggravation and embarrassment, smothering him with the pillows to shut him up.

            “I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!”

            Albedo just let your antics be, not bothered by the fact you’re slapping the pillow on him each word escaped from your lips. 

         His lips tugged upwards thinking he caught your trickeries once again.

 reader was pretending she's sick just so he can take care of her lol           

[scapegrace74-blog]

Ginger Snap

A/N  I was driving down the highway today and saw the license plate “I PieGuy”.  By the time I got home, this story was half-born in my head.  I have no idea where it might go, but it’s taking up valuable shelf space in there, so I’m birthing it onto paper.  Modern AU.  Silly fluff.  Claire POV.  First person, which I never write, so watch out for stray pronouns.

The shriek of the fire alarm was the final straw.  I’d just stepped out of the kitchen for a minute, but that was all it took for calamity to strike.  Opening the oven door in a panic, billows of smoke engulfed me before I slammed it shut again.

“Shit.  Shitshitshit.  Shit!”

Waving a damp dish towel back and forth like a flag of surrender above my head caused the head-splitting siren to finally desist.  I blew a rogue curl off my sweaty brow and gave myself a pep talk.

“Time to woman up,” I sighed before donning the oven gloves and cautiously cracking the door once again.  More smoke escaped, smelling of burnt pastry and ruined hopes.  Once it cleared I could see the charred carcasses of what were supposed to be vol au vent shells.  I carefully extracted them from the oven and dropped the cooking sheet with a clatter onto the quartz countertop.

“Dinner is D.O.A, Doctor Beauchamp.  Now what the fuck am I going to do?”

***

Thirty minutes were spent cleaning the evidence of yet another cooking fiasco and ventilating our flat by opening every available window to let in the moist Edinburgh breeze.  I now had less than four hours before Frank and three other members of the university faculty would be descending, expecting a home-cooked meal and polite chitchat.  I was in no position to offer either.

In a last-ditch effort to salvage the evening, I typed “sophisticated home catering in Edinburgh” and started dialing.  The first four numbers yielded either an answering machine or the news (unsurprising) that at least two days’ advanced notice were required to book their services.  Nearly resigned to ordering in Italian and facing Frank’s wrath, a woman’s voice with a thick Scottish brogue picked up at the fifth business I called.

“Ye’ve reached Ginger Snap, this is Jenny speaking.  How may I help ye t’day?”

I poured out my tale of culinary woe, laying it on a bit thick, but I was truly desperate by this point.

“Aye, we’ve a chef available this afternoon.  What sort of menu were ye planning?” she asked.

“Really?  Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver!”

I gave Jenny the number of guests and a broad idea of what I’d hoped to serve, although I was in no position to be choosy.

“Never ye fear, Ms. Beauchamp.  We’ll pick up the necessary items and our chef will be at yer flat by four.  Tha’ should leave jus’ enough time tae have everything ready fer six.”

Thanking her profusely and not even inquiring about the charge, I stood triumphant in the middle of my immaculate yet useless kitchen.  Why hadn’t I thought of this sooner?

***

The buzzer rang as I was re-arranging the decorative objects atop our sideboard.  I was aiming for the artless sophistication featured in Frank’s favourite design magazines, but instead I lined up each item in order of descending size, or grouped them by historical era.  A second buzz had me trotting to the intercom where a male voice crackled.

“This is James Fraser o’ Ginger Snap Catering.  Can ye let me in?”

I stuck my head into the hallway to find four organic cotton tote bags bursting with produce at my doorstep.  Footsteps pounded down the stairs, where I assumed the chef had retreated to collect more supplies.  I brought the first load into the kitchen where I began to unpack foodstuffs the likes of which I’d never seen.  Not knowing what else to do to be helpful, I began sorting them; green leafy things here, round crispy things there.

“Hallo?” the same voice called from where I’d left the door ajar.  Wiping my hands nervously against my slacks, I went to greet him.

Standing in the doorframe, almost filling it with his immense size, was a young man who seemed more suited to a stag hunt or a rugby pitch than haute cuisine.  He had loose tawny curls, two days’ worth of stubble and wore a faded grey henley, dark wash jeans that clung to his muscular legs and utilitarian workman’s boots.

“Claire Beauchamp?” he interrupted my visual inventory.

“Hmm? Oh, yes.  Sorry.  Pleased to meet you.”

Something funny happened when our hands met in a firm shake.  A tachycardic blip, my internal medicine professor would have called it.  There was no time to analyze this response, however, as he was already on the move.

“James Fraser, at yer service.  I’d normally spend more time getting to know ye and yer style of entertaining, but we’re short on time, so let’s get straight to it, aye?”

I gave the chef a hasty tour of our kitchen, stumbling over the names of various implements and opening the wrong cupboard when looking for my saucepans.  I blushed as he raised an expressive eyebrow, but shook it off.  I was paying for his cooking proficiency, not his opinion on my lack of domestic competence.

“I ken ye spoke tae Jenny about yer menu, but I took a few liberties at the market, based on what looked freshest.  I recommend starting with a simple salad o’ nettle and radish, garnished with a wee round of goat cheese and rye crumbs.  Loin o’ lamb with new potatoes and pancetta fer yer main.  An’ a simple rhubarb custard fer dessert.  There’s none with food allergies, aye?”

“Aye,” I replied, then corrected “umm, no, rather,” at his concerned look.  “Are you sure you can manage all that in only,” I glanced at my wristwatch “ninety minutes?   It seems like an awful lot of work.”

“Och, tis no’ much.  Lamb cooks swiftly, ye ken.  Tis why I choose it over pork or poultry.”

My saviour rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, preparing to wash his hands and get down to work.  There was probably something else I should be doing elsewhere in the flat to prepare, but I didn’t want to appear completely useless to this unflappable man.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

He looked dubious and seemed prepared to politely decline, but then his expression shifted.

“Aye.  Ye can wash the tatties an’ chop the rhubarb while I dress the lamb, if ye dinna mind,” he suggested.

“Scrubbing in and wielding a knife happen to be two of the only transferrable job skills I bring to cooking,” I joked, taking my turn in front of the massive Belfast sink.

He emitted a low Scottish grunt of amusement before we each settled into companionable silence, focusing on our respective duties.  I glanced over at him surreptitiously, envying the ease with which he moved from task to task, lean and nimble hands working alchemy where I only succeeded in producing dross.

“Ye’re a doctor, then?” he asked after my chopped rhubarb had been set on the stovetop to stew and the lamb was marinating in a bath of lemon and fresh herbs.

“Umm, well, I was.  My partner and I moved here from Boston, where I trained as a surgeon.  I haven’t yet obtained my license to practice here in the UK, so I’m afraid I’m just a culinary liability for the moment.”

It was a current source of strife in my relationship with Frank.  He liked the idea of me keeping house, entertaining and eventually settling down to raise a family.  I chaffed at this unfamiliar routine.  But until I passed my licensing exams, it was rather a moot point.

“I’m sure ye’re far more than that,” he replied solemnly, before breaking into a sneaky grin.  “I’ve ne’er seen stalks of rhubarb cut quite sae... uniform.  Ye’d have a fine career in quality control, if ye wished.”

I faked throwing a dish towel at him while we both laughed.

“What about you, Mr. Fraser?  How did you get into the catering business?”  It wasn’t polite conversation.  I was really quite curious to know more about him.

“I’ll tell ye, but only if ye call me Jamie.”  At my nod, he continued, “twas my Mam.  She was always a great cook, but then my Da passed suddenly and she with three bairns under the age of ten tae raise. She needed tae work.  We moved tae Edinburgh an’ she laboured day and night tae save enough tae start her own catering business.  Since I was a lad, when I wasna in school I was in her kitchen, watching and learning all the while.”

His striking face took on a faraway expression, and I knew he was remembering those days with a mixture of wistfulness and love.  I recognized the look from my own reflection, when I thought about my dead parents.  Without realizing it, I lay my palm over his forearm where it had stilled above my butcher’s block.  His eyes were the same hue as midsummer blueberries, and they regarded me with silent inquiry.

A timer made us both jump, my hand falling to my side.  What was I thinking, touching this stranger who I was paying to cook dinner for my boyfriend’s guests?  I really needed to find a hobby, so my mind didn’t latch onto any feeble excuse for stimulation.

Brushing my hands against my thighs, I quickly excused myself and left to get properly dressed for dinner.  Only thirty minutes remained before Frank and his colleagues were due to arrive.  

I spent more time than was strictly necessary away from the kitchen, afraid I’d made things awkward with Jamie.  By the time I finally returned, he was plating the lamb and putting the custard in the refrigerator to set.  I tried to think of something to say that would re-establish the fluent rapport from earlier on.

“I’ve opened the wine tae let it breathe,” Jamie said without looking at me.  I wished there was a similar process for blundering Englishwomen.

“Jamie, I really don’t know how to...”

The sound of the front door opening interrupted me and Frank’s nasal voice rang out from the entryway.

“Claire, we’re here!”

“Fuck!” I exclaimed.  Jamie tipped his head sideways in question.  “I never had time to explain to my partner that I hired your services.  That’s the dean of his faculty out there, and...”  I broke off, looking frantically around the room as though a trap door would suddenly materialize.  Quick on his feet, Jamie understood the situation immediately.   The kitchen windows were still open after my earlier catastrophe.  With surprising grace for one so large, he slid through the opening and onto the fire escape.  

“Bon appetit, Claire Beauchamp,” the ginger chef wished from outside, a mischievous smirk lighting his whole countenance.

I stood, mouth open in shock, as he gave an abbreviated bow before scampering down the metal ladder just as Frank entered the kitchen behind me.

“This smells delicious, darling.  We really are going to make a chef out of you yet.”

[aonogifreactions]

Minecraft headcanons no one asked for

a/n: olcvfgmlkfm this hit me so randomly i dont even know. enjoy!! under the cut due to length!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Amaimon.

★ Words: 1,6k.

Rin:

this sweetheart loves playing with you whenever you ask him to! it relaxes him a lot, plus just having fun with you is making him really happy.

he stays somewhere near you, ALWAYS. he’s way too embarrassed to admit he’s scared (same Rin, same), so whenever he yelps or jumps on his bed because he heard a zombie growl, you can laugh as much as you want, but don’t be surprised if he shoots a glare at you and pouts.

he’ll bring you whatever you want. wood? fine. iron? no problem, he’s already on his way to find a cave (even if he’s afraid of caves.. he’ll do it for you).

he’s not very good at building, so usually he leaves it to you, and it doesn’t really matter whether you live in a “house” made out of dirt or a full ass mansion; no matter what your building skills are, he’s gonna praise you anyway.

sucks at parkour. DON’T ask him to play a parkour map, he’s gonna whine and barely make one jump.

speaking about bad jumping, he’s really clumsy and somehow always ends up with the highest death streak. for example, he’s sprinting to kill a pig, but somehow doesn’t notice a fucking lava pool below him and jumps right into it. accidentally hits a zombie piglin (or pigman, depends on what version you play on) and he’s dead.

HOWEVER, he’s the guy who gets really lucky. do you remember/have a person/friend that always manages to get diamonds first? yep, it’s him. gets the best enchants. both on books and tools or armor. he also gets the ender dragon kill first too.

he won’t play without optifine and texture pack other than the default one. he hates it. his fave is faithful and if it doesn’t work, he’s constantly commenting on how the default one is hurting his eyes.

he will NOT survive listening to both disc “11″ and “13″ he hates it. don’t play it unless you want him to cry.

hasn’t played alpha nor beta versions, but he likes watching vids of it! he gets very nostalgic, which honestly bewilders him because he started playing way after beta. sometimes you can catch him listening to the old soundtrack all teared up, or falling asleep to it.

LOVES GREEN PARROTS. one of them is named after you.

MAY I INFORM YOU, HE DOES PLACE HIS BED TOGETHER WITH YOURS.

Yukio:

unlike rin, he’s always complaining about you asking him to play, but he’s obviously gonna do it (because he loves u,, even if he says he doesn’t). it also relaxes him, but mostly, he likes it because he’s able to get his mind off of “adult things” and finally get some rest.

wooo, he’s the brave one. he isn’t afraid of zombie gurgles or anything like that, so he’s always going to caves first (and gets lost because he’s literally going deeper and deeper FDMKFMV). however, there’s one thing that always startles him... cave sounds. he doesn’t scream, but if you’re near him, you can sometimes witness his character spinning or jerking his head in another direction because of it vcxkvnjhbv

don’t, i repeat, dON’T make fun of him afterward. he’s gonna go all the way back to you and kill you (and then go back mining.. like nothing happened).

the perfectionist. always mines all the resources he sees; during building something he also always makes sure everything’s proportional. gladly counts blocks for you, if your brain can’t work anymore.

now, building! not very skilled with building houses, but he likes building simple decorations, like fountains, gardens or farms. despite him always claiming it’s bad, his work always looks very detailed. not very good with ideas of those things at first, so mainly at the beginning he always finds some inspirations on the internet, but later gets the hang of it and builds his own ideas!

his favorite place to have a house in is somewhere near the ocean.

likes default textures. too used to have anything else.

doesn’t like listening to in-game music, unless it’s something from beta or alpha versions (like “Haggstorm” or “Wet Hands”). Usually listening to his own favorite songs on Spotify.

His favorite disc is “Far”. It used to be “Cat”, but due to him obtaining it like 3000 times he stopped liking it. nor hearing it anywhere near.

when he goes out to get resources and/or food, he comes back with full inventory and shulkers, just like a father that’s about to feed his kids. minimum 10 stacks of iron, coal blocks and food. the nearest 10k chunks of caves is already explored, so you better be ready for a long, lONG WALK to get something new.

he’s also fond of beta versions, but rarely plays them without you.

Mephisto:

this motherfucker wants to literally speedrun every fucking game. meanwhile you’re busy making a wooden pick, he’s out there typing “can’t wait to beat the dragon and get elytras~! ★”

remembers literally every recipe for all items and alchemy. personal minecraft wikipedia right there.

he MUST have a fucking mansion, otherwise, he isn’t playing. fortunately, he’s tried building before, so he’s perfectly capable of building one himself. it’s all made out of pink wool and concrete, along with white concrete accents here and there. 

adding to the previous one, he also has a great decorating sense. the rooms look very good, space is filled nicely and is both pretty and practical. the mansion itself looks very good on outside and inside.

of course, the main bedroom that’s designed especially for you two looks WAY TOO GOOD. I'm not even gonna start on him messing with plugins and making it even prettier.

his skin is a random, pink anime girl.

master with redstone. everything’s automated, there also might be hidden rooms with surprises. there’s a hidden shrine dedicated for you. he hasn’t told you about that though... >_>

even though he gets many useful things from the swamp biome, like lily pads or that cyan flowers, he hates this biome with a burning passion. if he sees it anywhere near his render distance he’s spasming and immediately voicing his annoyance. hates that specific, “dirty and unsightly” green water and grass color.

he doesn’t do much mining, but happily goes with you if you ask him to. even if he has no armor on, he never dies. NEVER. there might be 6 creepers but he somehow survives their explosion.

not scared at all. he knows this game like the back of his hand. he might, however, attempt to scare YOU instead. on purpose. or accidentally hit you so you fall from a large height and die. if you get upset at him afterward, he’s gonna give you even better stuff you’ve had before.

HE LOVES PLAYING ALPHA AND BETA. he started to play probably around very early alpha, so coming back to such simpler times is making him somewhat nostalgic (even if he denies it). on those versions, he builds things that used to be popular back in the day, like simple towers of cobblestone or houses inside mountains. it hits him hard when old soundtrack plays.

Amaimon:

he’s very, very confused. first off, he’s not used to the game at all, but then, he googles almost any recipe or asks you thousands of questions about how to make things. after some time, he finally figures out that there’s a book with recipes in game.

he might steal your items, but usually, he gives you back better items. for example, you notice your iron pickaxe is missing, but suddenly he sprints into the house and throws at you diamonds.

oh, he’s aware of the existence of chests, but for some reason, he likes throwing various items at you. he runs off afterward, leaving you with everything on the ground.

don’t introduce him to bedrock edition, he hates playing minecraft with a gamepad, and will smash it immediately. java edition is the only help for this man.

he’s also clumsy, like Rin. he manages to do that less than him somehow, but he tends to die pretty often anyway. his deaths are the stupidest, sometimes he doesn’t even bother explaining it. he literally can die with gravel suffocating him.

once he goes to the nether, he doesn’t wanna go back to the overworld. he says something along the lines of it being similar to gehenna or whatever, but. no matter what version it is - pre- or post- update 1.16, he likes it and that’s it.

his favorite biome in the overworld is jungle - mostly because of the lively color of grass, but also tall trees. he likes having there treehouses and always asks if you can build one (because he sucks at building. even worse than Rin >_>). his fave in the nether is blue forest or basalt biome - however, he becomes mad quickly on the second one due to frequent gaps filled with lava and magma cubes.

he likes normal slimes though. he even has a pet slime!! QwQ

he named his pet slime after Behemoth. keeps it safe in a glass cube and checks on it regularly. Behemoth doesn’t know about it doe.

he bullies every single villager that’s within his sight. burns their homes. the only thing that survives is the iron golem because he thinks it’s cool.

plays with the basic Steve skin. partially because he doesn’t know how to change it and that he isn’t determined enough to look for any.

forgets that crouching exist and falls off almost every cliff or anything that’s considered high.

[gusu-emilu]

Cantatio: Chapter Six

Ship: Lan Zhan / Wei Ying (POV Lan Zhan)

Summary: Lan Zhan fumbles through an attempt to explain himself to Wen Qing. Later, Wei Ying does something shocking during detention in the library.

Cloud Recesses Academy AU, Rated T - read on AO3

< Ch. 5 | Ch. 7 > | chapter list

“You will not speak a word to anyone about what you saw last night,” Wen Qing said.

Lan Wangji nodded compliantly. He had to tilt his head down to make eye contact with her, but the advantage of height did not offer much assurance against her sharp tongue.

Wen Qing pursed her lips and drew in a slow breath. A question hovered in the air between them like an arrow she was about to shoot into Lan Wangji’s skull. He waited for it with a twinge of unease, ready to recoil internally.

“Why were you in my room?” she demanded.

“I do not know.”

“Well, there must have been some reason you walked in.”

“I did not walk in.”

Wen Qing cocked an eyebrow and said with biting sarcasm, “So I suppose you teleported, then?”

Lan Wangji scanned the area around them. The other disciples paced leisurely through the clearing. A few stood in pods underneath the terraced walkway that led to the central part of the Cloud Recesses. Some were telling stories with extravagant hand gestures, others were speaking quietly with dignified nods. Snippets of their dialogue such as ‘moustache’ and ‘beetle monster’ and ‘scared of Madam Yu’ reached Lan Wangji’s ears. As he had hoped, everyone was immersed in their own business.

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

Lan Wangji inclined his head.

“You’re telling me you teleported into my room.”

“Mn.”

“I’m surprised, Second Young Master Lan. You don’t strike me as the type to crack jokes—especially not ill-placed ones. At least you aren’t as tactless as Wei Wuxian.”

Irritation filled Lan Wangji at the reminder of his heart plummeting in fright at the trick Wei Wuxian played. “I am truthful.”

Wen Qing shook her head in defeat. “I can’t have a reasonable conversation with anyone around here,” she said, more so to herself than to Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji was caught off guard by the sadness hidden in her voice. He searched her face for some explanation, but soon arrived at one himself.

Even if Wen Qing’s place in the Wen Clan put her at odds with the rest of the cultivation world, she was still just a girl. Although she had a close bond with her brother, she didn’t seem to get along with Wen Chao—nor did Lan Wangji imagine she wanted to—and even her roommates regarded her with caution. If she were shrewd, as Lan Wangji perceived that she was, then she would not be quick to trust anyone here.

She was alone.

Deep within himself, Lan Wangji recognized a parallel between them. Both relied on their brothers for most of their social interaction. Both had frigid personalities that would already keep their peers at a distance, and deepening that gap were the reputations that preceded them: Wen Qing as an extension of all that was ruthless and unjust, and Lan Wangji as an aloof, stone-faced image of perfection. Lan Wangji did not believe either of these perceptions were true.

“I will converse with you.”

Wen Qing shot a bewildered look at Lan Wangji, like he was an unappealing suitor who had just proposed to her. Or perhaps she thought it was another vexatious joke. Lan Wangji was not very good at telling the difference.

She scoffed. “What is there to say?”

“I am sorry for intruding in your room. I was teleported there by a closet.”

“By a what?”

Lan Wangji blinked at her. He did not think he would get this far in the conversation.

“If you don’t explain to me, I’m going to assume you’re mocking me, and walk away.”

“In my dormitory, I heard your scream from within my closet. After I opened it, I was in your bedchambers.”

Wen Qing placed two fingers on her temple and squinted. “You expect me to believe this?”

His only answer was to watch her expectantly.

The levers cranked in her mind as she weighed how to respond. “Okay then. I’ll come to your room tonight and see for myself.”

A jolt of panic shook Lan Wangji.

Just as boys were not permitted to enter girls’ rooms at night, neither was the reverse acceptable. Lan Wangji was not about to break this rule two days in a row.

“It is prohibited.”

“Then I don’t believe you, and I don’t accept your apology.”

Lan Wangji frowned. It was understandable if Wen Qing did not believe this farcical story—he barely believed it himself—but he could already feel the gaping hole in his honor if she did not forgive his intrusion.

“The closet is locked. You cannot enter.”

“Oh, isn’t that convenient.”

Lan Wangji clicked his teeth together. He was becoming frustrated.

“I will research this topic and prove my honesty.”

“How? No one’s ever heard of a teleportation closet. And why would it connect to my room, of all places?”

As far as Lan Wangji knew, she was right. He stared at the ground in embarrassment, as if the tiny pebbles scattered through the grass had any chance of holding an answer.

He expected Wen Qing to walk away, but she stood there silently analyzing him.

“You know, if you stretch your imagination, the concept is kind of similar to a qiankun pouch,” Wen Qing said. Her tone was much gentler than before.

Again, she was right. A qiankun pouch was only slightly larger than a teacup, but it was charmed to hold an item of almost any size. It was possible that a closet portal could operate under similar principles.

Lan Wangji looked up and met Wen Qing’s measured, moonlike eyes.

“That’s where we’ll start, then,” she said. “I’ll meet you in the library after class. Oh, and by the way. I want to thank you again for fighting that beetle monster. And thanks for sticking up for my brother. He likes you.”

Without giving Lan Wangji a chance to answer, she whirled around and speeded away, her steps quick, graceful, and determined. It had only been there for a second, but Lan Wangji thought he had seen a soft smile on her face before she hid it from his view. She glided down the covered walkway to where Wen Ning waited for her.

Did that go well? Lan Wangji thought so, but he wasn’t completely sure.

“Second Young Master Lan,” said a frigid voice.

Lan Wangji turned. Song Lan stood a few paces away from him.

“Daozhang,” he said with a bow.

“The pixiu which you and Young Master Jin animated was one of the stronger samples. Good job.”

“Thank you, Daozhang.”

Despite the words of praise he had shared, Song Lan wore a frown on his chiseled yet delicate face. His grey eyes flicked around imperceptibly, studying Lan Wangji with a snowy calmness as if waiting for something.

Perhaps he sensed that Lan Wangji had a question.

“Daozhang, can a guardian spirit be animated without draining one’s energy?”

He paused in thought. “It is not unheard of, but it is neither common nor simple. It would only be successful on the most insignificant spirits.”

“How is it performed?”

Song Lan’s eyes shimmered. “It is not to be practiced.”

The itch of curiosity at the back of Lan Wangji’s throat morphed into a thirst for retribution. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to report Wei Wuxian by name.

“A disciple has.”

“Are you sure?”

Lan Wangji thinned his lips and looked down at the sunbathed grass.

He was not sure. He had an idea. But more than anything, he was just painfully curious.

“It is extremely unlikely,” Song Lan said. “I am sorry that I did not witness what transpired. I had been speaking to Young Master Jin Guangyao. Please excuse your professor’s inattentiveness.”

Lan Wangji remembered the moments during the lesson that Song Lan had stared at Jin Guangyao. Most high-ranking cultivators would have ignored a servant like Jin Guangyao. What had caught his interest?

“Leave this matter at rest for now.”

Lan Wangji bowed and departed from Song Lan’s class with many more questions than he had when he first arrived.

At least the library might help him answer some of them. Wen Qing would be there to help.

Unfortunately, they would not be the only ones in the library. Wei Wuxian would also be there for detention. And Lan Wangji had to supervise him.

Would he ever be able to escape from Wei Wuxian?

* * *

The rest of the day’s classes passed without nearly as much commotion as Ancient Texts or Beings & Creatures. Wen Chao had surpassed Wei Wuxian as the biggest troublemaker of the afternoon, but his self-entitled yapping and arrogant criticizing—albeit annoying—was ultimately harmless. He had only risen to the rank of teacher’s pest because Wei Wuxian had relinquished the title.

Wei Wuxian must have sensed that Lan Wangji was upset with him for the pixiu prank. He seemed to bite his tongue more often, canning his prior shamelessness and disruptiveness. As a result, Jiang Cheng’s face loosened so much that he looked a year younger, a remarkable feat for someone who was still a teenager.

In Madam Yu’s Alchemy & Medicine class, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were assigned to the same table. Their seats directly faced each other. Lan Wangji did not make eye contact once.

The class followed Madam Yu’s shrill orders to concoct a remedy for insomnia from ginseng and dragon-eye lychee. When Wei Wuxian turned to Jiang Cheng to ask for a handful of jujube seeds—"Use the ones in your kit, dumbass! These are mine!”—“They were in my kit this morning! I don’t know where they went!”—Madam Yu appeared behind Wei Wuxian to slap him in the back of the head. Spidery sparks escaped from her ring Zidian and made the boy’s hair stand on end with purple static. She announced that his grade would be lowered for missing ingredients.

For the entire class, Wei Wuxian stole concerned, furtive glances at the jade-like young man across from him.

Not that any of those things mattered to Lan Wangji.

The best class had been Swordsmanship & Weaponry with Jiang Fengmian and his graduate assistant Nie Mingjue. The two instructors guided the disciples in complementary fighting styles: one swift and calculated, one forceful and explosive.

Lan Wangji was grateful that they practiced a round of actual sparring instead of being limited to solitary drills. A spirited battle with Jiang Cheng allowed Lan Wangji to release some of the anger bottled inside him. Jiang Cheng let out some demon of his own.

At the end of their match, the two nodded to each other with hesitant respect. Not the respect of acquaintances or rivals, but the respect of two troubled souls who shared similar sources of distress, and who mutually decided to pretend that they didn’t recognize this in each other.

Having channeled his frustration into a structured activity, Lan Wangji felt clean and refreshed, like the crystal-clear water of the creek that babbled along the perimeter of the Cloud Recesses.

Now it was off to the library for detention.

When Lan Wangji arrived in the circular library chamber, there was no one there. He guessed that Wei Wuxian was romping around with his friends, delaying his punishment, and would not show up for a while. Unprofessional.

Then Lan Wangji would enjoy the quiet while it lasted.

In the center of the library was a semicircular platform. Atop the platform was a low, long desk, and at its back were towering tan panels bordered with rich wood and pressed against cubby shelves of books and scrolls. The outline of the room contained smaller desks at evenly spaced intervals, each equipped with calligraphy pens, an ink well, a waxy candle, and a bronze incense burner.

More shelves lined the walls and were filled with countless tomes, some with bold titles that proclaimed their subject matter across the room, some with their colors fading from their bindings. In bright sections underneath the tall windows, the dark brown floor reflected fuzzy rectangles of blue light.

The air was heavy and a bit dusty. When Lan Wangji breathed in the thick scent, he could sense the ancient wisdom of the room’s contents that seeped into its cozy atmosphere.

Libraries never failed to put Lan Wangji at ease.

It was a pity that he would soon be disrupted.

He sifted through a row of books until he found two copies of the Gusu Lan Clan rules. Upon pulling them out, a pleasant musty smell danced across his nose. He placed one book on a desk on the far end of the room, another on the larger desk on the central platform, then sat down behind the latter. He straightened a sheet of parchment on the table, dipped a brush in the viscous black ink, and began copying the first page of the Gusu Lan Clan rules.

Take the straight path. Uphold the value of justice. Preserve your honor.

Intentionally or not, Lan Wangji had broken his code of honor by entering Wen Qing’s room and withholding information of the closet portal from his superiors. If no one would hold him accountable, he would do so himself.

It was a mere coincidence that this was the same punishment he had assigned to Wei Wuxian.

Footsteps scuffed at his right. “Erm. Hi, Lan Zhan.”

Wei Wuxian stood in the doorway of the library, his hand resting on the wall to his left. Like a gloomy figure against a miniature sky, he cast a shadow into the patch of hazy blue reflection on the dark floor.

Without looking up, Lan Wangji gestured impassively toward the desk that held the second copy of the Gusu Lan Clan rules, then returned to his writing.

Wei Wuxian walked over and kneeled behind the desk. His posture was stiff and meek.

"You know, I had only been planning to play a trick on Nie Huaisang. I hadn’t expected you to run over like that.”

The candle upon Lan Wangji’s table flickered with a soft crackle.

“You were worried about me…I should have thanked you, not scared you. I really appreciate that you came over. I seriously do.”

Lan Wangji’s lips twitched, but his brush strokes did not waver.

“I acted without thinking. I’m sorry.”

Something began to melt inside Lan Wangji like the wax of the candle.

How could he refuse a sincere apology?

“…Second Young Master Lan?”

He looked up.

“Wei Ying.”

A smile crept across Wei Wuxian’s face. The sound of his birth name immediately closed the distance between them, a tie that threaded the string of unspoken forgiveness.

Lan Wangji was shocked by how quickly it happened.

Something inside him had whispered, Do not call me Second Young Master Lan. You put us on a birth name basis. I like it and you cannot retract it.

Of course, those words came nowhere close to his lips.

Wei Wuxian leaned forward. “You have something to say, Lan Zhan?”

“Speaking is prohibited in the Cloud Recesses library. Begin copying.”

Wei Wuxian tossed his hands in the air, then let them thump down onto his thighs in exasperation. “Aiya, Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji raised his eyebrows.

“Fine, fine, I’ll get started.”

Several minutes passed. The silence was only interrupted by the swishing of horsehair brushes on smooth paper, the whistling of birds, and the distant calls of youthful voices.

Despite having ordered Wei Wuxian not to speak, Lan Wangji still waited for him to divulge how he had animated the pixiu in Song Lan’s class, like he promised he would share during detention. What if he really did use some forbidden technique?

But instead, Wei Wuxian said, “Lan Zhan, what are you writing?”

Lan Wangji’s only reply was to quicken the pace of his hand.

Wei Wuxian appeared at his side and peered over his shoulder. He held a single sheet of paper in front of his chest as if it were a flower he had picked. The side of the paper with writing was hidden from Lan Wangji.

“Are you…are you doing my punishment for me? Do you really love me that much?”

Lan Wangji clenched his jaw in alarm. He lifted his brush from the page to stop himself from smudging the character he was in the middle of writing.

“Lan Zhan, why are you copying the rules too?”

He turned to stare into Wei Wuxian’s dark silvery eyes, only to dart his gaze away after less than a second.

“It does not concern you. Sit down.”

“Wait, I have something to give you first!” He waved the parchment, still concealing the side with writing.

Wei Wuxian wanted him to see the single page he had copied? First of all, he should have completed five pages by now. Second of all, what was the reason for showing it off?

The sheet of porcelain-white paper floated onto Lan Wangji’s desk. It did not contain an array of messily written characters like he had expected.

It was a portrait.

Of himself.

* * *

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, you can be a supportive sibling like Jiang Yanli by liking, reblogging, and visiting me on AO3! New chapters posted every Monday on AO3 and Tuesday on Tumblr.

Ch. 7 > |  chapter list

[saltpigsblog]

The Hidden Shop

"This place must be new" Julie states peering into one of the cloudy windows. Alex squinted into the building not being able to make out anything.

"I don't know seems pretty old," Reggie says as he nudged a squeaky sign.

'alchemy'

A loud squawking noise suddenly fills the air. A small owl sat near the entrance of the door. It ruffled its feathers at Luke, who was holding a stick menacingly.

"Leave the poor thing alone, Luke"

Ignoring Luke's pout Alex walks toward the disgruntled bird. At a slight glance, the owl looked normal. The feathers at the top of its head were pink and slicked back. Looking closer Alex could see tiny stars in its feathers.

"Why does that Owl's hair look better than mine?" Reggie jokes as Julie reangles the stick out of Luke's hand.

"Because it is," Luke says only to let out a squeak as Julie turns the stick on him.

"You don't get to speak until you apologies " She declares, swinging menacingly at Luke.

"To the Owl? No way I'm-" He stops as Julie raises a brow and readjusts her grip on her weapon.

With a small huff, Luke makes his way toward the Owl. Honestly, Alex sometimes wonders how Luke always ended up in weird situations.

"Look," Luke says arms crossed as stands in front of the bird, "I'm sorry I disturbed you or whatever"

The owl, however, would have non of it. Turning away from Luke and ruffling its feathers up. Alex wished he could inherit the level of pettiness in one movement.

"Oh, come on you don't have to be like that!"

Luke shouts when the owl turns away from him. He stomps his way in front of the bird and held eye contact.

"I'm sorry"

This time it seemed to work, or maybe it just got tired of Luke. With a small node of its head, the owl began to flap its wings. With one last look toward Luke, it disappeared through the entrance of the building.

"uh... guys, please tell me I'm not going crazy"

Reggie begins slowly inching away from the sign of the building. Alex was just as shocked as him.

The old building walls begin to change when the owl flew through them. The once flakey paint of the sign turned new and fresh. While the old wood of the doors straightened out.

The entire building seemed to grow bigger as the doors changed to accommodate. Even the writing on the sign seemed to have got a renovation. It know read in clean and steady handwriting.

Alchemy

"So" Luke walks toward the entrance doors and touches the handles. "We're going in right?"

And they did, despite Alex's protests, honestly, why did no one listen to him?

"Come on Alex, live a little," Luke says as he pushes the door inward.

"We're dead" Alex points out following closely behind Julie. Even with his unease, he would rather be with them than all alone.

The inside was just as pristine as the outside, with glittering marble floors, and oak tables. Most of the seats were filled and a faint whiff of cinnamon wafted through the air.

Alex had to force himself to not stare at the people scattered around the shop. People covered in amour, and strange clothes. Alex silently hoped he was losing his mind as a squid in a suit, holding a cupcake, slithered past them.

They made their way toward the cashier's desk situated at the back of the building.

"Um.. excuse me but, what is this place?"

Reggie says to a short-haired girl behind the counter. She looked normal enough, not counting the almost see-through wings on her back.

"You guys are new here, huh?"

She says stroking a small cat that lay beside her. The girl seemed unconcerned with their presence like she had been expecting them.

So not only was the place filled with magic, know they could be seen as well. Alex doesn't think he can handle any more shock in one day.

"Yeah, we're kinda new to this whole ghost thing" he finds himself saying as Luke and Reggie look at a sludgy creature passing by.

"Well," she says as she digs around under the counter "You've come to the right place,"

She comes back with two pieces of golden paper and hands them to Julie. "If you wanna work here, you have to ask Willie, he should be upstairs.

Alex peered over Julie's shoulder at the papers, it was a job application. Julie gapes at the other girl as she rings up a customer.

"How did you even know I wanted to-"

Julie doesn't finish as the girl shoos them toward some stairs. Well, they were already here why not go up a creepy set of stairs?

Not that he could call them creepy, the stairs looked just as good as everything else in this place. Honestly, it seemed like Alex was the only one questioning things.

"Alex I can feel you thinking," Julies says as they ascend the stairs, stopping now and again to move out of the way of other customers.

Alex has to grab Reggie before he runs face-first into a white-haired man, and a man dressed in bright colors. Did the other one have a lute?

"Yeah dude, you're like oozing anxiety"

"What did I say about that word"

Alex says as Luke opens the doors that lead to the second floor. Somehow this part looked weirder than the last.

"I mean how are you guys not freaking out? What don't even know what this place is-"

His train of thought is quickly derailed as he focuses on a short boy, quietly putting up bottles.

Why was he so pretty? Who was he, and how did he make Alex's heart skip a beat, and make his palms sweaty. They hadn't even talked yet, and Alex already feels like they've known each other for years.

"Guys, I think Alex died again" Reggie states as he waves a hand in front of Alex's face.

"Or maybe," Julie says with a teasing tone in her voice

"He saw a cute boy" she laughs as she follows Alex's gaze toward the boy.

Feeling his cheeks flush Alex sputters indigently as Luke wiggles his eyebrows at him.

"I wasn't-I just-he's so" Alex struggled to find the words as he mumbled.

"Pretty?" Julie says

"Handsome?" Reggie says in a singsong voice

"Hot" Luke says pinching at Alex's cheek

And honestly, that didn't help at all in Alex's crises, was he that obvious? If Luke noticed, then it must be obvious. Oh god, what if the cute boy noticed him staring. Alex doesn't think he would be able to handle that without dying a second time.

But it seemed like Luke had other plains as he dragged Alex toward the boy. Meanwhile, Reggie and Julie, the traitors, took a sudden interest in a candle.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Willie's day was pretty normal so far, well as far as normal goes with his profession. He opened up shop at 7, enough time to prepare for the many people who came in at 9.

But there was one thing that managed to slip his mind as he opened up for the day. Allision, one of his workers, had quit yesterday. She had reluctantly left to rule over her late father's kingdom.

Her leave was sudden and unexpected, so much so that Willie had forgotten she wouldn't be at the shop.

Usually, there would be two people for each portion of the shop to make sure everything was in order. And every week everyone would switch. And today was Willie's and Allision's turn to restock the magic part of the shop.

Only the problem arouse when Cherry and Oliver needed a few extra hands with the bakery. Willie's brain had just automatically assumed that Allision would take care of the work upstairs.

And with that in mind, he had opened as soon as he was done with the bakery.

Which meant he had to scramble to restock the various potions and magical items, thankfully no one needed them as soon as they opened.

He could ask Frank to come in a little early, but Willie knows the man's exams would be soon.

Letting out a small sigh Willie picked up the small box of potions in front of him. Willie could handle the magic shop, after all, it wasn't like he hadn't before.

Distracted by the small buzzing coming from the cards attached to his hip, Willie has to dodge to not run into Luie, a small sludge creature.

Stopping at a counter he pulls out a slim black card from the deck, and gently placed it in front of him.

"Hey, Boss so you remember how we need some help?"

Cherry's voice rings out from the card he had put down.

"Yeah, how could I forget?"

Willie refuses to acknowledge the slip up he had made, he grabs the first bottle to put on the shelf as he listens to Cherry.

"A human just came through, looking for a job for her and a friend"

She states with the ching of the register accompanying her voice. She pauses to take someone's order before she continues.

"There were also a couple of ghosts with her, I think the blonde one is exactly your type"

Willie holds back a groan as he hears Cherry laugh on the other end. For some reason, his workers loved matchmaking him. His one saving grace had been Cherry who had shooed everyone off when they tried putting him with the latest person. But it seems like not even Cherry could hold herself back.

Snatching the cards back up, thus ending the connection. Willie let out a huff as he continued putting the potions on the shelf.

Honestly, Willie can't understand why they thought he needed them to butt into his love life. He didn't want to date anyone, he had his shop and he doesn't need anything else.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex was going to faint. He had gotten Luke and Reggie to leave him alone by distracting them with the trinkets nearby. And Julie had dropped it on her own, seeing how uncomfortable Alex was.

And everything had been fine for about 10 minutes. They explored the shop, and Alex continued to sneak glances at the boy as he made his way to the back.

Eventually. Julie finally remembered why they were there in the first place.

"Guys, focus we're supposed to find Willie"

Alex doesn't know how, but as soon as Luke registered Julie's words he fell.....right where an owl soundly slept. Needless to say, the owl wasn't too pleased.

Loud squawking and shouting filled the air as the same owl from the entrance picked at Luke.

"Wow I've never seen her so mad before, what did he do?"

Alex glanced at the boy who had situated on the counter, swallowing back his embarrassment. Just act naturally he told himself, stuffing his shaking hands into his hoodie.

"He fell on her, though he did threaten her with a stick earlier,"

There short and to the point, he even managed to keep his voice steady when he said it.

"A stick? I'm surprised she didn't run him out already"

Alex feels the boy shift beside him as they watched Luke's futile attempts to get the owl away.

"Does she, uh do that often?"

Alex leans himself on the counter missing the other boy's stare as he watched Reggie cheer the bird on.

"All the time, especially when someone tries to steal...I'm Willie by the way"

It takes Alex's brain a few seconds to register the name, wondering how they didn't find out sooner. Willie was the only one who seemed to be working. Alex chalks it up to there excitement they had when they entered the shop. At least Julie didn't have to worry about Willie being a demon.

"Alex and my friend Julie is looking for you, she wants to know if she can work here"

"Well, why didn't you guys say anything sooner?"

Willie says as he hops down from the counter, letting out a loud whistle. Almost instantly the bird's focus changes from Luke, flying away from him and perching onto Willie's shoulder.

"So,"

He says once Julie helps Luke up from his place on the floor.

"I hear one of you wants to work here"

[latefrequencies]

I just started listening to From Home and I am soooo excited, I've been really getting into noise lately and this is the sort of thing I want to make! How'd you make these noises? And also, do the numbered titles of the tracks hold any significance? Thanks for another awesome release Jude! :D

oh thank you!!!! people’s reception of that album has been much more positive than i would have expected (not that i expected people to hate that album outright but i rly only know two people who i knew for sure are into noise, and one of them is going to be in a noise band with me and the other is already a noise artist), so i’m very happy that people like the album as much as they do! also i’m going to put the answers to your questions under a cut if that’s okay, i’m going to basically answer Every Question Anyone Could Ever Have About This Album, including the ones you’ve asked directly:

so the equipment i used (outside of the non-musical items i used to produce the sounds) was the following: an iPad, GarageBand (which was run on the iPad), a bass guitar, this cord thing called an iRig that allows me to plug the bass into the iPad so i can use the amp simulator stuff, earbuds that had a microphone on them, and headphones that did not have a microphone on them. the headphones that didn’t have the microphone on them were important because, when you use earbuds or headphones that have a microphone on them and the microphone is too close to the earbuds themselves (which is the case with most if not all earbuds you get in stores), you record what you’re listening to along with what you’re recording on the track you’re recording. this might not be a problem if you’re just trying to get as much sound as possible, but that wasn’t what i was going for on this album.

i personally see all of the sounds on the album as being in one of five categories: musical synthesized sound, non-musical synthesized sound, bass feedback, intentionally-produced non-synthesized sound, and background sound. which is hella pretentious but let me break it down further:

musical synthesized sound: i used the synth settings in GarageBand to produce things that sounded musical (anytime there’s chords or a melody perceptible on any of the tracks)

non-musical synthesized sound: i used the synth settings to produce things that didn’t sound musical (mostly i used settings that are categorized under “sound effects”. a good example of a track featuring these would be track 4, “68454″, where there’s sort of a mechanical buzzing noise and a slamming noise that sound like they’re reacting to each other. those were both produced with GarageBand and weren’t actual sounds I recorded from my environment)

bass feedback: i plugged my bass, made some custom amp settings that were meant to make the feedback sound like ungodly loud and awful and just let it record. sometimes i did actually do things with the bass, such as touching the neck or body to produce generally non-musical sounds or touching the strings in a way that produced musical sounds in that each string is tuned to a note but where i wasn’t really playing a note on purpose (very audible on track 1, “593045″). anytime there’s the sound of something churning (for lack of a better description), that’s bass feedback (and I’ll get into how that works in a bit)

intentionally-produced non-synthesized sound: i took objects around me and made them make noises (”68454″ has this sort of crackling sound in the background that was produced by doing and undoing the velcro on a plush toy I had with me, there was a point at which i just recorded myself photocopying and putting together a zine and the low whining sound on “182495″ came from the photocopier and the scraping sort of sound on the same track came from me handling the paper afterwards because i recorded both processes on the same track)

background sound: i just plugged in the non-microphone headphones and let things happen. this picked up sounds intentionally 

a lot of the time, with the intentionally-produced sounds, i would try making them while listening to how they’d be recorded through the amp simulator and i messed with the settings to make it so that they’d be less recognizable or sound stranger or more discordant. a lot of the idea behind what i did was to take sounds that would have been normal and make them very abnormal. you don’t hear sounds like what you hear on that album in your everyday life. the world would be bloody chaos if everything sounded like that all the time. everyone would have to wear industrial-strength earplugs. it’d be awful. part of the concept was to take the familiar and make it as unfamiliar as possible. i presume you’ve looked at the album’s description, and if you have, then you’ll know the context in which it was made was one of really just a lot of unfamiliarity while also having with me individual things which were familiar, so that’s where the idea to make noise in that specific way came from.

now here’s where i get into the exact methods and if you don’t have access to GarageBand, this might be a bit useless for you, but if you’re using a program where you can use an amp simulator and it has the ability to let you simulate effects pedals, you’ll probably find a way to do the same as what i’m describing here.

the first thing i do with the amp settings is i turn the gain up real high (usually at maximum) and i put a fuzz pedal on it and turn everything on that up to the highest setting. sometimes i let there be a bit of variation (like sometimes the tone is a little bit down, sometimes the fuzz setting isn’t completely up, etc.) but those are the primary things i do. i choose the fuzz setting because that produces the most amount of additional noise while also distorting the sound (which is why i choose it over, say, overdrive)

i get the churning sound by turning both the knobs on the tremolo part of the amp way up. if what you’re working with allows you do to so, experiment with having the speed and depth be at different places, because i find that sometimes having them always be equal to each other or having them always be on maximum doesn’t get what i want for a particular track or moment. i’m not sure if screwing with the tremolo like that is the exact thing Sunn O))) are doing on all their albums but i bet it is and regardless it makes it sound just like Sunn O))) when i play a note and the amp is like that and I like sounding like things that i like.

other effects pedals i like include the phaser one, the vibe one (there’s a lot of fun to be had there since there’s different kinds of vibrations you can play with), the echo one (that can get you some REAL fucked up sounds if you play it right), and the chorus one.

where the synth is concerned, i use settings from the Alchemy Synth options (again, not very helpful if you’re not using GarageBand but what you’re using may have something equivalent to what i’m about to describe). the reason for this is that there’s all those knobs and that x- and y-axis thing you can control to get a really precise sound, and you can mess with those while you’re playing the note, meaning that the note will record the exact way you’re hearing it change. (i make that distinction because messing with something in real time with something from the amp settings doesn’t do that.) this was useful for getting strange sounds from the more musical sounding settings.

i think the reason the synth parts of the tracks are more emphasized than the non-synthesized sounds was because the synth was the stuff i had more control over. there was a lot of incidental sound (random things like me typing or drinking water got recorded, and i mentioned my housemates on the album credits because i did end up getting them recorded, not on purpose but because they were obviously in the same space as me and they were producing sounds so onto the tracks they went). i’ll probably do things differently as i work more with noise because there’s a world of potential where the non-synthesized sounds are concerned that i haven’t scratched upon at all yet. really the non-synth sounds on From Home were more like background things for the synth parts. or maybe i’m downplaying those parts too much. either way in the future i’ll be looking out for more naturally-occurring noises, i’m just describing the role they played in that particular album

really i just made the noises either by doing stuff with the synthesizer, recording whatever normal things i had or that were happening and processing them to hell and back, or plugging in my bass and letting fate take care of the rest.

also there is no significance to the number titles at all. i had just been titling files by the number track they were supposed to be on the album and then i went “this doesn’t look right” but i also had no interesting or intelligent things to call them, so i tried making keymashes for titles but they just looked wrong for some reason, so sticking solely to numbers for the keymashes somehow did the trick. chaos within intentional boundaries. i guess that’s a good descriptor for how i did the album really. 

anyway thank you for asking these things and i wish you the best in the world of noise and your exploration in the genre, frankly i’m excited to explore it too and if my work inspires somebody else to try out something like this, that’s honestly one of the most exciting things i can think of.

[bdfanfic]

Oak in Grey Hollow - 2

Chapter 2 - One Enchanted Evening

“Now, if I don’t miss my guess, you’ll find some excellent firewood over in that glade. Would you mind fetching it for me Mira, while I unhitch Anabelle? Oh, fetch her some water from that stream first, please. She’s thirsty. Then we can get a nice fire going. I’ve much yet to tell you, you know. Oh yes, there’s much to explain!” said the enchanter.

Mira did as she was told, watering the horse and carting firewood in several trips until she felt sure she had enough for the evening. Meanwhile Hollow had opened the rear doors of the cart and lowered a step. The doors contained an assortment of brightly colored clothing, jewelry, and other oddments that she couldn’t even identify that hung upon them - and the yawning darkness within promised even more interesting things. Hollow was nowhere in sight.

She couldn’t help herself. She thought of thievery.

“No, probably not a good idea,” said a voice over her shoulder, and she turned with a start. Hollow was leaning over, peering into the dark interior of the cart with her.

“Who knows what’s in there?” he said as she straightened up. “Could be nasties. Could be! Besides, you never know what sort of wards he might have. Not to mention that you don’t know what any of the stuff does. At least you can wait to find out first, don’t you think?”

“Hollow! I… I was just curious!”

“Oh, I know!” he said, not a hint of anger in his voice.

He turned back around and picked up the brace of rabbits he had brought along, sitting down and beginning to skin them.

Then his voice changed - lowered and became more serious. And more lucid.

“I’d say, given the amount you could carry and the size of the next village, you’d be lucky to get 100 copper. And, like I said, they’d end up with potentially dangerous enchanted items. Before you know it, you’d be right back where you were in just a few days. You’re not a prostitute… yet. But you’re awfully skinny, Mira. You’re not doing well. Maybe you should stay with the crazy old man a little longer.”

He was turned away from her and she couldn’t see his face.

“I will,” she said, and meant it.

“Will what?” he said, turning his head to look at her.

“I’ll… stay with you,” she answered.

“Well good,” he said, and handed her a potato and a knife. “How are you at peeling potatoes?”

Two hours later, she sat beside Hollow on the ground, watching the campfire, with their backs against the steps of the cart. Hollow was humming a tune and puffing on a long stemmed pipe, while she was simply feeling content, her stomach full of a fine rabbit stew and sipping on some wine Hollow had provided. She had never drank much - she’d seen it cause too many problems - but she couldn’t turn down the offer from her new benefactor.

Finally, Hollow finished his song and looked at Mira.

“Okay. Here’s the thing about this job. The first thing is to understand completely what it is the customer actually wants. They’ll say they want one thing, but you have to think about what they really want. Sometimes they are the same thing, but sometimes they’re not! And then you have to figure out what they actually need, which is almost always something else entirely.  Once you get to that point, then the negotiations can start. We don’t make much money in this business, but fortunately we don’t need much - right? All we have to do is make sure we make a little more than it costs us. Problem is you have to figure in all the costs. Like tonight. This has to be added to the cost of what we sell tomorrow, because we’re not selling anything tonight. This wine, the carrots and potatoes, spices, Anabelle’s food too! It’s not a lot, but it’s not nothing either. We have to make enough to cover our days on the road too. Got it?”

She nodded, though the wine was making her a little fuzzy.

“Alright. Now, about enchanting… It’s my stock-in-trade, but I can also do a little alchemy too. But enchanting - ah, that’s where the real fun is! We use soul gems, you know. Those rabbits we just ate, their souls are in four new soul gems now. Waste not, want not!”

Mira watched his eyes as he spoke. Those beautiful blue eyes. They sparkled on this topic, and though she only vaguely followed what he said, she found herself drawn to his enthusiasm. This was a man with a vision, and there was a charm to a man with a vision. She refocused, trying to catch up to what he was saying…

“...balance. You see, the soul gems don’t really provide the magic to the enchantment. What they do is hold it in place, once you’ve set it up. It’s like tailoring. You bend the material how you want it to fold, then the soul gems are like the thread you sew in to keep it in place. But there has to be balance. The closer to balance the enchantment is, the smaller the soul gem needed to keep it in place. But if you try an enchantment that is badly out of balance, you’ll need a powerful gem to keep it in place. Either that or it will unravel quickly. Do you see?”

“A little,” she said honestly. “Look, Hollow, I really can’t do magic. I’ve tried, but it’s just not in me. I hope you don’t plan to make me into an apprentice, because I’ll disappoint you.”

“Oh, I see that in you Mira. I do. No, you haven’t got that kind of magic. But you still should at least understand what I do as much as you can. And the constraints I work under. I can do some amazing things! Honest I can! But I don’t deal in strong gems. I once did, but… well, we needn’t go there. So my enchantments require balance. Now tomorrow, I’m going to send you into the village to put up these posters. Advertisements. I’m not going to enchant you though. The people will see you as you are. I’ll need you to clean up some though, and I’ll give you some normal clothes - somewhat less threadbare than what you’re wearing now. But you’ll not be enchanted. That comes later. However…”

He paused, obviously waiting for some response from her.

“However… what?”

“It’s going to be uncomfortable for you.  Nothing too bad, I promise! But, I use only small gems. You will look gorgeous. You’ll be universally attractive to both men and women. You will feel awful. Like little ants are pricking at you. Again, nothing you won’t be able to ignore I assure you! But… it has to have balance.”

She shrugged. It wasn’t like she’d not slept in flea-bitten beds before. Couldn’t be much worse than that.

“Well good!  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for bed. Why don’t you put out the fire and I’ll get our beds ready.”

She took a bucket to a nearby stream, filled it, then brought it back and dashed out the flames of the campfire. She saw a flickering light from within the cart then, and heard the Argonian mumbling something. She looked around but saw no bedrolls on the ground.

Hollow emerged and beckoned her in, his Idea Candle now the only light save the stars and one of the moons.

“You have beds in there?”

“Why certainly! Anabelle has to stay outside though. She doesn’t like that, but she’s too big to fit.”

She climbed up the stairs. Inside, the cart seemed much bigger than it had any right to be.

“You sleep on the bottom,” he said, indicating a bed built into the wall with another underneath. Both looked to be fitted with very fine blankets and sheets. She looked down at herself and realized she was probably going to ruin them in her current state. She really should have taken that bath.

Then another thought struck her as she heard Hollow undressing behind her. She wasn’t sure if she should turn around, but she couldn’t help peeking.

Shirtless, the blue pattern drawn on his chest now glowed almost as much as his Idea Candle, but it was his baggy pajamas that set her to laughing. White with little stars, crescent moons and wizarding wands were patterned across it.

“What?” he asked, looking down. “You don’t like my pajamas?”

“I think they’re wonderful,” she snickered, and suddenly felt a lot less uncomfortable as she took off her filthy pants and shirt, still keeping her underclothes on for modesty’s sake.

“Well…” he said, climbing up to his upper berth. “I like them anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” she said as she climbed under her own blankets. “They just struck me as funny. Probably the wine.”

“Certainly the wine. Tomorrow I’ll get you some new clothes - non-enchanted. Your own need a liberal application of cleansing fire,” he replied, perhaps with a slight note of ire.

To that she snorted but couldn’t argue. She watched as the light from the candle bobbed about before becoming stationary somewhere above her. Presumably he had removed it and set it on a stable surface. His tail hung down from above, twitching, only inches from her face and she wriggled a bit farther towards the wall.

“Mira? Do me a favor. There’s a little yellow gem on the wall beside you. Can you press it?”

She looked around and spotted it. At her touch, a slight breeze began to blow silently.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, and shifted above her.

“Hollow?” she asked a little later, not sure if he was sleeping or not yet.

“Yes?”

“What’s that symbol on your chest for?”

“It’s a type of ward. Keeps me sane. Goodnight Mira.”

She smiled, questioning its effectivity, but said nothing and drifted off to sleep.

However, she didn’t sleep soundly that night. She had the strangest dream. She dreamed she awoke to a darkened cart, her name having been whispered just before.

The only light was from the starlight outside the still-opened doors at the back, Hollow’s candle having apparently been extinguished. She arose and noticed her sight seemed a bit blurred and her mind was foggy, as if in a daze. Hollow was still asleep, his deep breathing not disturbed even when she brushed against his tail as she arose, though it did elicit some incomprehensible murmuring.

She thought she’d heard her name whispered outside.  The night was still warm, and she stepped into the starlight. Morning was nowhere near and she knew this was the deep night when all good souls were sleeping. Where had she heard that before?

“Mira.” said a whisper from nearby. But it didn’t actually say the name. It said something else, but she knew it referred to her, something like a name.

She turned slowly as if moving through molasses, but she was not alarmed or afraid.

In the blackness beside the cart she saw a strange sight. A woman stood there, extraordinarily tall, though her lower torso was in darkness, but a woman she undoubtedly was - dark and beautiful, even to her eyes. She may have been a Dunmer, for her skin was colorless - grey perhaps - yet somehow she seemed not to quite fit that race either. Something about the eyes didn’t seem right. For that matter, her height alone denied association with any of the normal races. And her hair was of the most extraordinary style and length. It rose from her forehead and down her back and across her shoulders, yet none grew from the side - a sort of mohawk fashion. It was long though, and fell beside her breast into the darkness of the shade below the woman’s navel.

Mira found herself beginning to kneel before this woman, but the other shook her head, speaking in a language that was not one she could have named, yet one she understood. “No. Rise Mira. I am no goddess for you to prostrate yourself before. I am simply me. I guard Hollow, though. You might call me his protector. Hollow is my love, you see. My love since the day we met. Tell me, Mira, what are your intentions towards him? It is important that I know this.”

“Me? I… I have no ‘intentions’ towards him. He is kind, and I needed some kindness. I intend only to help him in any way I can. At least until I can find another path for my life. I am aimless, my Lady. I seek only to find my way in the world, to find a place I can fit in. I thought, just maybe, that this…” she replied, not able to complete the thought.

The woman smiled. “I am certainly no Lady, Mira, but if what you say is true, you are welcome here. I will not trouble you. Just remember what I have said. Hollow does not love me, I know. Hollow doesn’t know what the word means. General love, certainly, but not the intimate love between two people. Still, someday, perhaps. Time works many miracles - and many curses. I will be there if that day comes. If not… I remain with the one I love. There are worse fates.”

“Yes,” Mira agreed. “There are worse. But, my lady, he is an Argonian. You… well, you clearly are not.”

“Hollow is an Argonian to your eyes? Interesting. I see only Oak in Grey Hollow. The one I love more than life itself. The rest is fluff and nonsense.”

“Fluff and nonsense,” Mira repeated dreamily.

“Go back to sleep, Mira,” said the vision before her. “I will protect you as well, as long as we are understood. Hollow is… not for you.”

“I understand, and can assure you completely that I have no designs on him in that way. I give you my word,” Mira said.

In fact, part of her laughed at the thought. She’d actually never had so much as a crush on anyone else ‘in that way’ in her life. An Argonian least of all! Still, somehow it made her feel warm inside, to know that Hollow was loved by someone. He was such a strange man. It was good to know someone was looking out for him.

She didn’t dream about her return to the cart. Dawn was well past when she awoke, still under the blankets of her small bed. She smelled food, and immediately noticed that Hollow’s tail was gone.  She yawned and thought about rising, but the feel of a nice, comfortable bed and the warm blankets kept her in place for a few more minutes. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so comfortable, and she didn’t want it to end. Eventually Hollow’s head appeared through the open doors, calling her to come to breakfast, and she did so while recalling the strange dream she’d had. She wasn’t one given to odd dreams - or even remembering them for that matter. But she remembered this one.

[etcrnalbonds]

Honest Q&A

What is your full name?

          “ Freud. Just Freud. ” What do your friends call you?

          “ Freud as well. Though, they do occasionally               have some less than desirable nicknames for me. ”

What is your favorite animal?

          “ Dragons. ” Where were you born?

          “ I was born in Henesys. ” Do you have children?

          “ No, no. I’m much too busy to care for a child              as of now. Once the war is over, however... I              wouldn’t mind settling down and having a child              or two. ” Is there a person/people you love?

          “ I love all of my friends. Truly and dearly. ”

   Hun, I don’t think that’s what they’re asking What is your favorite color?

          “ Red. ” What is your full occupation?

          “ I am a researcher and an adventure.              I mostly study dragons and ancient magic. ”

Are you good at physical fighting?

          “ I believe a toddler is better at physical              fighting than I am. I would hurt myself              more than I could hurt the other person. ”

Which form are you best at?

          “ Of physical fighting? Er, well I was taught a              little bit of jiu-jitsu as self defense in case I              were to lose my staff in battle. But by no              means am I good at it. ”

What about magic?

          “ Ah, now magic is something I excel at. ” Which type are you best at?

          “ I’ve taken a liking towards using fire magic,              however, I believe I am most known for              creating different types of spells and magic. ”

Craftsmanship?

          “ Alchemy mostly. I thought about taking up a              jewelers craft, but in the end, I thought it             would be better to simply buy an item and             enchant into what I need. ” Any other skills?

          “ Well, I would say I am a good tactician, if that              counts for anything. ” Are you an only child?

          “ Yes. ” Where do you see yourself in five years?

          “ Living in a peaceful world. One in which no one             has to worry about the darkness rising again. ”

Have you ever almost died?

   Almost died???? Haha I’m already dead.

          “ Yes. Several times. I would not be here today              if it weren’t for my friends. ”

Do you have a secret, not just a secret, but like a really big secret hardly anyone knows?

          “ Yes. ” Salty or sweet?

          “ Both are good. It depends what I am in the              mood for. ”

Do you like yourself?

          “ Yes, I do strive to be the best person I can be.              I can say I’m very proud of who I am and who              I have become. ” Are you religious?

          “ Yes. ” Do you carry prejudice with you?

          “ Of course not. Everyone deserves a chance.               It is unfair for me to make judgements without               any solid proof. ” What do you consider entertainment?

          “ Well watching Phantom and Luminous bicker              can be pretty entertaining, haha. Please don’t              tell them I said that. In reality, books are what I              find entertaining. ” Favorite drink?

          “ Tea. I’m currently enjoying a cup of Winterberry tea. ” Do you have any family traditions?

          “ My, oh my, where do I begin? Hm, well, my favorite tradition              was one with my mother specifically. Whenever I did answered              something right or did well on a test, she would pick me up and              toss me into the air. She would always tell me how proud she              was and what a great job I was doing. Heh, My father said that              one day I would be too big lift. She responded with the              darkest glare I have ever seen. She said he was speaking              some nonsense and that he would go into the air too if he wasn’t              careful. In her eyes, I was always going to be her little boy, I suppose.              Though... it truly makes me wonder if she would have done this in              my later years. I... like to imagine she would. ”

Are you a good person?

          “ Yes. Well... I try to be at least. ”

Thank you for answering my questions.

          “ You are very welcomed. This was rather fun. ” tagged by: @xmemoriia tagging: u

[sleepymarmot]

Skyrim liveblog: more Dawnguard rage and even more mods

Oh great. I installed a mod that makes quivers compatible with backpacks, decided that the several day long modding session should be over and I can go back to playing... And then I noticed that Serana's stupid Elder Scroll is considered a quiver and now is attached to her butt too. Cue an hour in Creation Kit trying to make her a bow with an ES model to wear. She fucking wears that butt scroll even if I delete it from her inventory, and refuses to wear anything else, even when I add it to her fucking outfit. Why does that quiver mod affect her but mine doesn't?! Ugh. It's as if this character is in the game specifically to spite me. Fuck off.

Well, at least I looted some stuff! Finally found the fort with the Bound Bow spell tome. It's completely against the idea of the character, and it's not as strong as my normal bows, but fast and fun. Dwarven condenser (steam staff) still haven't tried.

"I've seen that dragon before" and by that I mean "I have subtitles on and know that name from the internet"

Hell yeah, I can wait before the next part! Aka give Serana a ride home.

Solitude

After 138 hours of playing, earning 100000 gold, and becoming a Thane in three holds, I finally reach the capital! Exciting!

Wow, imperials really like beheadings, don't they.

Whoa, what a fancy tavern!

I love how distinct the interior style is.

A dude walked up to me and started to talk about his "master" and madness. Sigh. It's going to be Sheogorath, isn't it? 

"Blessings of the Eight Divines" oh i see...

"We appreciate worship in all its forms" ha

And the temple is unlike anything I've seen before in the game, like the city in general.

---

Just as I was glad to see the final battle of a dungeon end, my stupid followers decided to attack each other and Serana fucking murdered Uthgerd. Fuck! You!!!

Can't find anything to activate a bridge, think that maybe this dungeon doesn't have a shortcut, use Clairvoyance and it leads me back the way I came, I can't proceed, google and turns out there is a lever I missed. What is even the point of this spell?!

Dawnguard

Finally I have reached the place of your imprisonment, poor Thorald! But first I must get rid of Serana.

Haha, she thanks you for leading her all this way here and apologizes that she'll have to go her own way after. Fine by me!

Btw, in hindsight it wasn't the best strategic decision to show an ancient and respected vampire the location of the secret vampire hunter fort... Whoops.

Harkon *turns into a gargoyle*: Don't you wanna be pretty like me??

---

Guess who showed no finesse whatsoever in this rescue operation and just slaughtered every Thalmor on her way?

I broke like a hundred lockpicks off these master locks, and the prisoners don't show any gratitude or even try to escape...

---

With a good stock of certain mushrooms and a set of 26% fortify alchemy armor, it took me ten minutes to grind from legendary 15 back to 80 points.

Whiterun

I have figured out the problem with my Lakeview interior: it's not Whiterun-ish enough. Not enough yellow and blue, too much red and dark brown. Now that I've been to Solitude, I see its influences on the Breezehome mod I'm using and it's starting to bother me, too. Where are my blue-yellow walls? The ivy is pretty but it's Solitude's style, not Whiterun's. Btw I miss the simple vanilla Whiterun rug design...

"Not here, I told you to meet me in Riverwood" What the fuck? I didn't even expect to see her here! I live here, you know! I'm a thane here, actually!

Hmm, I tried to replace one of the rugs in Lakeview with a Whiterun rug but it just doesn't fit in... I didn't even notice that I build a red-green-brown color scheme there!

Dawnguard

Aaaand the vampires found us. Which is clearly a part of the main plot and happens whether I took Serana here or not.

"The woman was a vampire" Wait, is that supposed to be news?! How???

"I should have kept her here until we were certain" Yes we should have!!

"They also have an Elder Scroll" That's also not new! Literally the first thing you can ask her is "Is that an Elder Scroll?" Who wrote this???

"And you didn't stop them?" I LITERALLY BROUGHT HER HERE. SHE STOOD RIGHT NEAR THE CASTLE. WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE THE ORDERS THEN???

I'm going to cry... Out of everything I've encountered in the game, this is the stupidest.

Innocence Lost

The entire internet says you don't get bounty for killing Grelod. I sneak in during the night, stealth kill her -- bounty 1000, a guard immediately attacks me outside.

Oh right. It was Constance. But Grelod was in this room during the day, and someone among the kids shouted "kill her"...

Okay, now it went well.

"When I grow up, I'm going to be an assassin. That way I'm going to help lots of children, just like you" Aw...

An unusual gem is marked "take", I take it -- it's interpreted as stealing. Good thing I saved 10 seconds ago...

A fine hour as a honest student of magic -- training with everyone, getting my money back by trading, making more enchanted shit, grinding my brains out... My enchantment is at 95 now: almost there! Didn't even touch the storyline.

Dark Brotherhood

Wow, Astrid dragged me from Winterhold all the way to Solitude!She's the leader? They don't have anyone better? Really?Wait, the DB sanctuary is so close to my home? Unacceptable!!The DB sanctuary is bugged. Not only the inhabitants can't move, which isn't a bad thing, but the word wall doesn't work. And its word is in the only shout I regularly use.. 

Dawnguard

"You wouldn't happen to have a dwarven gyro, would you?" I'm wearing dwarven armor, boots, gauntlest, and two modded dwarven items. Yeah, I think I can find a gyro too...

I thought she would send me on a quest to explore a nearby ruin before agreeing...

Finally, I can interact with the master archery trainer and fellow engineer!

Aaand she sends me to freaking Solsteim. I had to google that because it doesn't show up on the map. Apparently it's a radiant location...

Isran refused to talk to me, only after I saw Serana he told me to talk to her, then after I turned my head from her back to him he asked me to tell me what she said, as if we weren't all standing in a corner almost on top of one another.

No, Serana, I don't want you to come along, especially if it's "just me and you".

Vaermina

Smart Looter broke the Vaermina quest, looting the soul gem that I was supposed to take, so I got stuck.

LMAO Vaermina your bluff could have been more convincing if you didn't add "Vaermina commands you" at the end

Proudspire Manor

Okay, I bought Proudspire and I have a lot of questions.

Is the children's room really next to the entrance on the first floor? Not on the third floor near the master bedroom, not even the second?

Where is the housecarl's room?

Where is the kitchen? You know, the cooking pot where I can make stuff?

Aaaalright, so the kids' room does appear on the third floor. So what is the empty room with a bed roll, then? 

And the cooking pot is apparently supposed to be on the second floor, and is missing due to a Hearthfire bug.

"The housecarl's room in the basement contains an unowned bed roll, two food barrels, three food sacks and many crates, rugs and unused pieces of furniture. This doesn't get upgraded like normal when you become thane and the housecarl moves into the manor, unlike with other houses." Okay. Why the hell is this called basement when it's on the ground level and leads to the main entrance?

I finally decided to do something with my hoarding problem, selling old weak potions and trying to sort the rest.

Unique weapons -- weapon rack in my house

Upgrade everything I have to Legendary, then either sell or:

Pouch 1 -- clothes I might want to wear

Pouch 2 -- enchanted weapons I don't use (too weak or not my type) but don't want to sell

Pouch 2 -- one or two copies of every weapon I have.

Dawnguard

Wow, I fast travelled right to the entrance to the fort this time! Improvement!

Yes, Serana, I think it is my place to judge you! When your family's problems are that you feed on other people, they become other people's business!

"I'll buy whatever you're looking to get rid of" Sorine truly understands me...

Wow, Dawnguard has a special, second in Skyrim breed of dog that actually looks cute, not creepy! I actually want one, but only if they're invincible.

They're protected, not essential :( Maybe I'd take one but use console. Like I did on Uthgerd earlier today. It's impossible to play a destruction mage with a follower otherwise.

---

Came to Winterhold to ask about the scrolls and train with Faralda, and she attacks me :( It's another bug apparently.

Okay, thanks internet, waiting for 10 days fixed it.

Dawnguard

"He might know where I can find an Elder Scroll for Paarthurnax" Uh? Are we mixing up quests here? I haven't even met Paarthurnax...

Screw you, Serana! Is it not enough to just tell my follower to stay here? Do I have dismiss her entirely? Normal quest givers just leave the follower behind automatically!

I dunno, Serana, I think this courtyard looks pretty nice...

Free the horse's soul and then bind it to yourself! What's the logic? Nice horse though.

Does "Tyranny of the Sun" means "The sun harms vampires" or "Vampires destroy the sun"? I think they've used this phrase in both ways...

I'm not sure how the Soul Cairn works. Are the souls trapped here only by the special means gained from the Ideal Masters? I thought at first that they're just victims of the black soul gems, but doesn't seem so.

Wait, so if the prophecy asks for a "daughter of Cold-whatever", then any female vampire who had gone throgh that ritual would do, right? Not only Serana and her mom.

I'm not sure summoning a dragon to Tamriel is a good idea... Aren't we killing them on sight, not the other way around?

Winterhold

I just realized that I haven't used Illusion at all, but it would be very handy for roleplaying a nice character! So, another level-up session. I planned to leave legendary-ing alchemy for Solsteim, but what the hell! Got destruction and illusion to 90.

Damn, I forgot about Paralysis! And alteration altogether, it's at 38! That's because Tolfdir is in a different hall, haha.

The Black Star

Well, now I don't know what to do. When I read about the quest, I decided that I'll give the Star to the priestess -- I'm not evil and I don't need a black soul gem. But rp-wise... That mage is right. Why should I help daedra?

Wiki: "If you reveal yourself as an agent of Azura, you will have to pass an easy-level Speech check or he will dismiss you outright" Easy-level! Ha! I have 100+ Speech and I failed the persuasion and had to bribe him!

Uh, why is the owner of this mill a vampire? Is that normal?

Heljarchen Farm

Damn, the Heljarchen farm is so well decorated! The shrine decorations just floored me. I've never seen that kind of thing before!

It's a shame that as soon as I arrived to claim the property, I encountered a bandit stuck in place -- navmesh conflict? Also the light is flickering weirdly in the cellar.

LMAO my own worker addresses me "What do you want, lizard?"

I could feel the framerate die after I planted all my stuff outside lol. I didn't even fill all the planters! I wanted more of them, but maybe it wouldn't be wise...

Filled the greenhouse with mushrooms. Sorry immersion! I need those!

Oh, so I CAN light the lanterns! The activator is not on the lantern itself but on the post. Weird, but okay. Would be nice if they auto-activated at night.

Is that the outdoor toilet? Why can't I enter?

I wish it had a proper forge, not just an anvil.

I wish I could pay workers daily.

Cabbage clips through the fertile soil. Yikes.

The Hideaway

Time to tend to my other modded house -- the Hideaway. It's kinda ridiculous to have them right next to each other, but I love both. It's so amazingly designed! I haven't even seen before most of the assets in it! What I don't like is that I can't display a shrine of Zenithar -- some garbage Daedra, sure, but not one of the Divines! It's not a huge issue obviously, I can use one in the farm or anywhere else, but it's slightly irritating. The kitchen and smithing areas are too dark, there's a visible texture clash outside (might be vanilla though), and it's weird to leave all this stuff protected only by a couple of wooden planks.

Dragons Keep

Dragons Keep is beautiful and very detailed. Yes, Skyrim looks like a country that prefers home education to boarding schools -- but I really want to get those poor orphans somewhere safe even though I don't have time for parenting! I'd like some lore basis for this luxury. Maybe it was personally supported by the High King, and now that he's dead, the Dragonborn can become a new patron and pay for upkeep, as well as entrance fees for any new student I invite. That would be a good money sink, and make the entire thing more plausible.

And I wish the children were more diverse instead of carbon copies of vanilla ones...

My build

I've taken the Necromage and Aspect of Terror perks, and I think my fire spells are now even stronger than archery against draugr! So I went through an entire dungeon with Incinerate in the right hand and swapping between Soul Trap and Incinerate in the left.

My progression is going as planned. After a lot of studies in the college, I became a skilled wizard who uses all schools of magic. When I get at least one other than enchanting to mastery, I'll proceed with the quest. I know how it ends, but not how long it is, so I'm leaving it entirely until I feel deserving of the title.

lmao bless stealth archery, I have completed the final room of the Potema catacombs in Solitude without even stepping into it, killing every draugr before it could spot me

Proudspire TNF

Finally got tired that there's not a single smelter in the capital of Skyrim and installed Proudspire TNF. Well, first of all, the interior is twice as big as the vanilla one. Which means it's finally fit for a thane (the vanilla house seemed not bigger than mine!) but breaks immersion severely. Both master and children's bedrooms have balconies in place of walls; and I thought the combined bedroom in Hearthfire was bad for privacy! The housecarl room is ugly like in vanilla. And there are leftover harvestables floating in the air, but the reset interior command got rid of that. As a smaller complaint, I don't like that it got rid of the snowberry vases and leather planters. And I need to throw out those trophy bases! Why the fuck would I need a monster corpse in my home?!!

But the crafting areas are pretty much perfectly designed! The achemy room has the full lab, which I prefer to the tabletop variant, uses the table shelf for ingredients in bowls and puts three wall shelves above it for the same; there's a wooden table connected to the lab, and the lectern is placed in the corner between the two workspaces. Ingredients have their own open shelf (I wonder if it respawns), the similar shelf with the potions is a container, and there's a potion display shelf; plus, several planters in the same room, and it's all next to the kitchen but is safely separate in its own room with a door. The enchanting station is combined with the armory, which is what I wanted to do myself, and there's even a set of weapon plaques hanging right above it, and it's all close to a library.

So I really don't know what to do. I guess I leave it for convenience's sake, though I saw a comment that uninstalling it may cause problems...

I finally bit the bullet and installed USLEEP/WAFR/CCF/CCOR. And because the latter instructed me to make a bashed patch, had to learn wtf is that. Please work...

Proudspire Manor

Magically, something fixed the housecarl room. Was it some bug fix? Or just because I left and reentered the house?

I'm trying to think of a way to make this floor plan a bit less insane... My ideas:

Revert the third floor's plan to vanilla

Create a cellar -- not a trapdoor, just another flight of stairs. Move the armory/enchanting, smithy, bath there.

First floor is now main entrance/lobby. Replace the door with the fancy model. Move the housecarl room back there: she's guarding the door. Move most of the bookshelves there from the third floor; couple of display cases/plaques/mannequins; some pretty plants.

What was the lobby on the second floor is now living room for the owners.

Alternatively, if the door cannot be replaced and all of this is impossible -- make the "real" entrances way more decorated and visible.

Lmao I accidentally selected & dropped the front-facing "backdoor" in positioner and now it's permanently open

King Olaf Festival

"When Vampires Attack" broke the burning festival -- nobody came, and the bard ran back into the building as soon as he lit the fire. Disabled the mod in the MCM, but there's no option to enable it again.

"Speech skill increases 15% faster" Ha! Should have done this quest sooner.

"I believe Sanguine will be pleased with this festival" Wait, did this dude just announce his daedra worship in the middle of a festival in a capital city?

Now what?! A guard walks up to me with "You there. What do you know about this?" There shouldn't be any dead bodies near here. Maybe dead vampires? I dunno. We repeated the same lines 3 times before he walked away.

190 hours into the game and 99 active mods later, I have finally downloaded LOOT! Well, the loading screens are just as long, and framerate even seems worse.

Arrive at Lakeview, start picking flowers from my garden, get attacked by Thalmor, vampires and wolves all at once. What the hell?!

Calcelmo wants me to bring him a dwarven metal ingot? All the way from Riverwood? Wut?

Now I thought something was wrong with Breezehome -- the cooking pot was off the center, and the housekeeping book was magic-themed for some reason. But from the screenshots on the mod page, seems like it's supposed to look like that? Okay.

Uh, why the hell did Clothing and Clutter Fixes change Farengar's clothes from normal blue robes + hood to some mismatched monstrosity?!

Installed HD maps, for some reason they have greenish tint.

Wow, something deleted the bugged old tree trunk of the Gildergreen! What was it, I wonder? USLEEP?

---

Okay, so. I suddenly decided it's time to make Speech legendary. I had the ideal conditions:

A stack of potions in my inventory

All three barter buffs

Thief Stone

Well Rested

Bard College bonus to speech increase

Treebalance mod ready to be installed

Now I have so many free perks! Since I don't need price reduction, Investor & Master Trader don't need to be reselected after legendary-ing, and Treebalance removes a fence perk from the merchant branch. Now I can finally buff my Illusion! And then I can start putting points into crafting again! Also ice spells for the fire dragons, alteration for defense, and armor for utility.

If only Treebalance didn't have the Allure perk... I should learn how to edit perk trees. Since I'll never dare to ask the modder to do that for me... The problem is, it's for some reason a branching point in the mod, so the entire tree would need to be reworked.

---

Last round I could create 36% Fortify Enchanting potions. Now it stops on 32% :( I don't understand why.

Hmm I wonder what I should bring to the Thalmor Embassy...

---

Dragonkiller Cart Reloaded & Gypsy Eyes Caravan

The setup process of Dragonkiller Cart is so difficult... But when I set it up, it immediately improved my immersion. Now I know where I'm carrying all this crap! And then I could park it and scout ahead with invisibility/muffle. Time to put on illusion on heavy armor/cloak to make a peaceful traveller's outfit. And try to assign a housecarl to sit on my cart and guard it at all times.

What isn't as immersive is the way it tumbles around after fast travel or at the slightest sign of trouble.

Okay, when I started falling off a cliff and fast-travelled back to the word wall, my horse appeared but the cart didnt. When I came back to it, the harness somehow wasn't in the inventory anymore.

I still have no idea when Jaxonz Smart Looter works on horseback and when doesn't. Not sure why I'm not using Convenient Horses's auto-loot... But I rebound the manual harvesting to M2 and my life instantly became easier.

The dragon on the peak above Morthal was once again missing textures, and now even didn't give me a soul.

And finally, I'm in Morthal! Now I can pick up my unused housecarl and assign him to guard the cart. Though considering the horrifying loops the cart did on the rocky road down the mountain, I'm a bit scared to put someone in it...

Okay, I assigned my follower a seat, but how do I get him in there?

What the fuck? Where did the harness go AGAIN? Are they consumed after a day of use or something?!

A youtube video explained the problem: the followers are invisible if assigned to seats 1-2. Also, they only get on the cart if you do, and get off with you. So much for guarding my stuff!

When I tried to use Gypsy Eyes Caravan, it freaked out and was glitching almost for a full minute.

Well, here I can do what I want: assign a follower to drive the cart permanently, and either follow me or stay back. Even though I prefer the simple design of Dragonkiller.

Just as I felt happy that everything was finally working, Valdimar disappeared. And in the morning, rose through the seat and was on it again. Wut?

Okay, I left both carts at the Markarth stables, both set to "follow". Went into Markarth, then fast-travelled from there. Only my horse appeared, neither of the carts.

I'm back to the stables. Dragonkiller informs me that it needs a horse harness, again; also it's nowhere to be seen, its map marker is still in Morthal. Gypsy eyes has its wheels flying around it wildly, and it's unable to follow me.

Dragonkiller wasn't even at its map marker in Morthal; I have no idea how those work. Had to re-summon it, and it hitched the horse without a problem -- so the harness wasn't missing again, after all?

Okay, so turns out GEC has a next beta version, and the notes basically confirmed my guess of what was going on: when I fast travel to a city, the caravan attempts to do so too, and crashes horribly. I expected that the mod would be smart enough to park the caravan at the stables which every city has next to the entrance -- you know, like your normal horse!

And my max Fortify Smithing potion is now 130% as opposed to 145% last time. Why? Was it a beneficial glitch?

I put on my fresh max Fortify Smithing armor, made a lot of max Fortify Smithing potions, and finally sat down and improved every single thing in my inventory to the limit. I can breathe easily now.

I just remembered about Angi's camp! Just in time -- my archery is at 92. Damn, the last task is difficult...