#‘what would it be like for these specific guys - who are freaks - to be gay men in this setting?’

[serpentface]

Oh yeah I meant to ask, to what extent does social paranoia/self-surveillance/Complexes/etc. affect Janeys & Brakul’s relationship, or their attitudes toward one another/themselves? I remember something written about them not engaging in penetrative sex in relation to Wardi taboos on bodily integrity, which, if not just happening to coincide with personal preference, sounds potentially pretty fraught. (Maybe excessively paranoid, but I want to clarify that this isn’t necessarily a Horny Question)

Not a horny question but as usual my answer is going to be excessively long and detailed so get ready.

Anyway yeahhhh it’s pretty fraught. The bottom line is that they love each other and are also mad horny about it with only a limited number of outlets, which only adds stress to an already stressful situation. They are fully aware that they love each other and there's no 'no homo'ing their way out of this one, but ARE kind of in denial about there being a sexual component to their relationship (which is partly bolstered by the Wardi view on sexuality only considering Full Penetration to actually be 'sex', and they aren't doing that, sooooo....).

With regards to paranoia/self surveillance....

Both of them share a fairly equal concern about status and honor. They are both fully in agreement that many aspects of their relationship have to be secret and that both need to uphold a normative life for high status individuals. The threat of public shaming is a very real concern, and they have killed people over it (duels over slander and impugned honor are legal in some contexts, Brakul extralegally beat a guy to death for it once).

Brakul personally most concerned about other people, and is compelled to avoid doing anything in public that could even be construed as romantic in nature. Wardi cultural norms permit men to be physically affectionate with male friends (kissing on the cheek is a common greeting) but Brakul is pretty hardline Bro Do Not Even Touch Me In Public. He has very few compunctions about anything done in private so long as he doesn't specifically feel emasculated by it.

Janeys is heavily religious and strongly concerned about curses and spiritual pollution (all believers in this faith share this basic tendency, but it tends to be of more pressing psychological concern to the upper classes via impact on social status and honor). His core personal concerns are on the spiritual end of things- belief in curses and spiritual pollution is a very real motivating factor in this culture. Anything he does that is conventionally understood as emasculating or spiritually violating, he has to rationalize and self-justify away.

There’s a tendency among the upper class to imagine the Commoner having a poor, uneducated, and superficial understanding of the religion, and philosophical debates on the nuances of religion is considered an ideal leisure pastime among the educated upper class. So part of Janeys’ self-justification cycle is usually like “I am very smart and knowledgeable, and now that I’m thinking about it the idea that [xyz gay as shit behavior] is spiritually polluting is superstition of the common rabble and missing all the Subtle Nuances”.

It’s kind of like Janeys will laboriously mental gymnastics his way through his various concerns and eventually be like “I Have Discovered That Giving Blowjobs Is Not Spiritually Polluting, (And In Fact Is Very Masculine???) I Will Analyze This Further” and Brakul is like “Ok cool not polluting okay awesome that’s great ok let’s go let's go letsgoletsgoletsgo”

This is a long, slow process. They have been in a relationship where they both want to fuck each other stupid for over a decade without any of that happening, instead just very slowly escalating while being very frustrated about it the whole time.

Sworn brotherhoods such as theirs are upheld by an annual ritual involving bloodletting (the palms are cut, blood drained into wine and mutually imbibed, other stuff happens). It’s a lengthy ceremony and partly supervised by a priest. The first escalation is they started doing this like, monthly on their own. It feels intimate and scratches an itch for physical and psychological closeness.

This escalated into performing a ‘’’condensed’’’ version of the ritual, which is really just them sitting around and cutting each other with a razor and licking up the blood (while perhaps half-assedly reciting the associated prayers). The underlying factor is they always need to have some excuse that does not ‘shame’ them- in this case, they have decided that their frequent exchange of blood keeps their bond soooo strong and powerful and that they're like, the best sworn brothers ever.

This blood shit is UNQUESTIONABLY sexual for them and is a physical outlet for sexual frustration. And it does eventually escalate to them finally getting off (‘weird blood shit’ was their first base, ‘doing weird blood shit and frantically dry humping to completion and then not talking about it’ was their second, ‘kissing on the mouth’ was like, 6th)

This all was worsened by the genius decision of having Brakul knock up Hibrides, who is Janeys’ wife. Janeys has no attraction to women (and also probable fertility issues) so he never succeeded himself. She had passed the expected childbearing age and is utterly miserable in this relationship and was kinda like “uhhh if you won’t let me fucking DIVORCE YOUR ASS you’d better figure something out because you’re shaming ME”, and since sworn brothers effectively ‘share’ wives (IN THEORY this is just a commitment to support your brothers’ wife and children in the case of his death) they came to an agreement that this was NOT Janeys being cuckolded and shamed, as long as no one else finds out.

The lingering after effects of this decision are one of the primary strains on their relationship on a whole number of levels, one of which is Janeys now being intensely jealous of Hibrides for ‘getting to’ fuck Brakul, and that she has had a form of closeness with him that Janeys can never have (not even just the sex but like, conception itself). The feeling of having a metaphysical bond with someone who he sees as stronger than himself makes him feel more secure, and the sense that someone has gotten in the way of that and experienced something 'deeper' is very distressing for him. Brakul also kind of wants to be a father and really, really, really wants a relationship with his bastard children (something which both Janeys and Hibrides prevent him from doing) which really wears on him.

On a personal level, Janeys swings between feeling smugly justified about everything (he's only hiding it because everyone around him is stupid and wouldn't get The Nuances) and like, Oh God I've fucked up so bad I am shamed beyond recognition. Why did you let me do this to myself, this is your fault, you made me like this, etc etc etc. (This is especially the case when he suffers any unusual misfortune, seeing it as signs of a curse).

Brakul can usually weather this out (and is also very good at logically assuaging his concerns), but it's very draining on him. He shares the core belief in spiritual pollution, but he doesn't share the experience of actually Feeling dirty or shamed by things only they know about. They get into a lot of fights (not necessarily explicitly about all this, but it's an underlying tension) and Brakul often just deals with it by up and leaving for days on end until Janeys is miserable enough to not be upset. Brakul also has some alcohol abuse issues and could be diagnosed with clinical depression (not entirely because of this, but it doesn't help).

Another bottom line is just like, after over a decade in vehement denial that they are fucking each other, the notion of 'actually fucking each other' has kind of an outsized weight to it. Objectively (BY WARDI CULTURAL STANDARDS) they have ENTIRELY and thoroughly shamed each other and are riddled with spiritual pollution, and taking it up the ass couldn't make it any worse so might as well. But they haven't quite got there.

So yeah this is kind of all over the place but I think this answers the question???????

[youaretheunicorn]

moments in bottoms (2023) that have permanently altered my brain chemistry in no specific order

"omg ive always wanted one of these" *holds up a normal grey hoodie*

hazel's "why would you lie to me :(("

when complicated by avril lavigne started playing and we got a scene of josie walking broodily and sad while kicking a can on the ground

"so maybe ill buy a gun" "noOo"

"im gonna fuck up some football players and im buying a gun"

"YESSSSS YESSSSSS QUEENSSS SLAAAAYYY YESSS"

"is it because i said amelia earhart was a fake hero?"

when pj basically attacked hazel with her tongue

that kiss also being like the best kiss ive seen on tv in the last 10 years like unironically im so serious

josie and isobel making out covered in blood

the guy who wanted to blow the school up and literally wrote "BLOW UP SCHOOL" in his diary

"i know you're a black republican but you're the smartest among us"

"im not (gay). i just like gay porn"

hazels mom sleeping with jeff

"i FUCKED your mom" when the mom joke is actually real but also it makes your gf break up with you

hazel

just hazel she's so pretty pls give me a chance

that whole final fight scene

the football team that would kill a player every 20 years and was going to kill jeff by putting pineapple juice, to which he is deadly allergic, in the sprinklers???????????????????

"yes hazel, let's do terrorism"

*does the terrorism*

TWICE

again the guy that wanted to blow up the school who went THAT WAS MY THING after the tree blew up. he was holding a bomb button thingy. where was the bomb. what. let's go back to that for a second. hello. where was the bomb

horny freak #1 horny freak #2

[suzukiblu]

Day fifteen of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. tw: mentions of past grooming/abuse; mentions of homophobia. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“Naw, naw, it was his name-name,” he says with another laugh. “Dude swore up and down it was Greek. And then I’m pretty sure he specifically went out of his way to find a ‘Leander’ to date just so he could validate that shit, because he absolutely did in fact date a super-ripped alien named Leander.” 

Tim pauses again, and isn’t sure if . . . 

Just something about the tone Kon was using and the look in the back of his eyes is sticking in his head a little, maybe. And he does in fact want to know if this guy at least is a valid source of intel in regards to anyone he might need to put on his supervillain hit list, so . . . 

“But he was cool?” he asks carefully. 

“Um–yeah,” Kon says, tearing up the last bite of his sandwich stack a little restlessly and watching himself do it more than making eye contact. Tim represses a frown. “Just, um–I wasn’t into him or anything, for the record, just he was, like . . . I kinda didn’t really know anybody else who was, like–who liked guys or whatever, before him. I mean, like–other guys who liked guys, I mean. And I didn’t know why I felt–like, how I felt about that. And then, like, not everybody was actually cool with him liking guys, and it was just kinda like . . .” 

He shrugs a little, then glances back at him. Tim stomps on so many invasive questions, and wonders again if Tim Drake is, like–an experiment, or if Kon has dated other guys before. Or at least liked other guys, anyway. He already said he hadn’t really done anything with any, and he said he wasn’t into this guy, but . . . 

“I didn’t even ever tell him I was, you know–like–” Kon shrugs again, then takes another grilled cheese off the stack and starts ripping bites off it too. “Like, whatever I am. Did not actually know that I was that at the time, admittedly, but then Tuftan put a collar on me and not remotely unclearly kept me as his pet and I had some memory problems goin’ at the time, and anyway I woke up to some real interesting, uh, realizations or whatever after that one.” 

“. . . I’m sorry, I know this is a serious conversation and you’re telling me something important, but did you just tell me that your gay awakening was a tiger-king who was keeping you as a pet?” Tim asks, trying not to laugh because, like, clearly Kon is being serious, but oh god, what are their actual lives? What is Kon’s actual life? 

“I mean, technically he was still the prince then,” Kon mutters under his breath, flushing in embarrassment with a sheepish laugh and half-hiding his face with the hand not currently full of incredibly-cheap-but-still-calorie-packed grilled cheese. “Listen, he was just real nice to me while I was all fucked-up and freaked-out about a whole lot of shit, okay, and I swear to god, babe, if you make one single furry joke I will actually go throw myself in a volcano and die, so please have mercy?” 

“I am the most merciful guy you know,” Tim lies, and feels a weird sort of–just a weird feeling, kind of, because Kon would never ask Robin something like that. He’d just get irritated or pissed off or defensive. He wouldn’t just–ask, and think there was any chance he’d actually agree not to do something like that. “Won’t hear a word about it out of me.” 

Though he’s not gonna pretend that the fact that Kon apparently had a crush on a guy who was effectively taking care of everything he needed in life isn’t a good sign for his cul-de-sac plans. 

Maybe Kon’s just more into castles. Tim could get him a castle. Get one built or just import one, he doesn’t know. 

“Uh–thanks,” Kon says, still looking sheepish even as he smiles at him again. “Look, literally not even my fault, alright, if you’d met the dude you’d know. He is literally the tiger from Zootopia who would treat you right, okay? Like, I watched that movie and was like ‘huh okay this is a mortifyingly familiar experience’ the friggin’ moment that scene came on.” 

Tim briefly remembers a couple of tiger-themed memes that he remembers seeing around the time that movie dropped, then decides not to go down that rabbit hole or learn anything new about himself today. Like–not anything else new, anyway.

He has maybe learned a few too many new things about himself lately, admittedly. 

Or, uh . . . definitely, yeah. 

[rebelspykatie]

Part 3

Part 1 - Part 2

Eddie’s pretty sure he’s never thought about kissing another guy. He rarely thinks about kissing anybody. For the longest time, he was convinced that no one would ever want to kiss him, so he never saw the point in dwelling on it. 

But maybe that was unusual. He might have mistaken his apathy for normalcy when really he’s the freak. The average person probably thinks about kissing an awful lot. He’s listened to Jeff talk about asking out Lacy from his calculus class and Gareth go on and on about how unfair it is that he can’t make out with his boyfriend behind the bleachers to know that the average high schooler is pretty horny. 

Yet, Eddie’s childhood wasn’t littered with school yard crushes. There aren’t fond memories of girls that he imagined sneaking off with during lunch period or recess. There’s just…nothing. A part of that was his rocky childhood and jumping from his parents, to just his dad, to Wayne. But a lot of it was pure disinterest in the hottest girl in their grade growing breasts before all the other girls, or how tenth grade Mandy would make out with anyone with the right incentive. 

He’s never thought about it long enough for anything to stick. He figured, one day, when he was old enough to escape Hawkins and all the small minded bigots who think he’s a devil worshiper, that he would find a girl that appreciated his specific eccentricities. That he’d settle down somewhere quiet, a little closer to the city than Hawkins, and find some blue collar job and start a family. That’s just what everyone does, right?

He knows that’s not true, though. That everyone doesn’t follow that path. He knows people like Gareth and Robin, and apparently Steve, don’t get to just walk into happily ever after. There’s no white picket fence in their future, and Eddie’s never had to confront that reality so head on before. He knows what it’s like to be different. To have a target on your back. But, it’s nothing like the ostracization of being gay. 

Thinking about kissing Steve scares him. When he closes his eyes, it’s a looping replay of that day. Steve’s soft lips on his unmoving ones. Big hands cradling his face. He can perfectly recall the terror and confusion. It’s seeped into his bones now, because he’s realized something about himself and he doesn’t know what to do with the information. 

He can do nothing. He can move forward and pretend that he doesn’t wake up panting, picturing Steve on top of him pressing him into the mattress with their faces attached. He doesn’t ever have to acknowledge that for the first time in twenty years of living, he’s having honest to god wet dreams that involve another person. And that person he’s envisioning is a guy. Everything can just be swept under the rug.

But he’s pretty sure it scares him more to know that he can’t. It’s eating away at him. Eddie feels trapped in his own skin. The truth is clawing its way to the surface, wanting to break free, even if Eddie’s shutting down as it tries to spill out. He knows it’s inevitable, that overflow. The dam breaking. 

It takes an intervention to set everything in motion. Wayne’s been fussing over him for weeks. He’s been doing that worried parent thing that he thinks Eddie doesn’t know about, where he stands outside Eddie’s closed bedroom door like he wants to knock and say something, but doesn’t. He’s studying Eddie over their morning cereal like the little floating letters are going to spell out why Eddie’s been holed up in his room almost mute. 

But the final straw is when Wayne comes home from work to Eddie painting figurines on the stairs of their new trailer while pretending that he’s not watching Steve help Max fold laundry next door. There’s this polite distance between them and Eddie that didn’t exist before, this wide expanse where before Eddie would’ve been sitting on the picnic table in front of Max’s trailer teasing both of them, or maybe helping if it was a low pain day. 

Instead, he’s sat like a toddler in timeout, taking furtive peaks over the little paint brushes and praying that Max’s sharp intuition about situations like this is dulled by her literal lack of being able to see Eddie from over there. Steve can see him, though, and Eddie’s feigning that it doesn’t bother him. What a grave he’s dug for himself here. 

“Boy, don’t you think this has gone on long enough?” Wayne sighs as he climbs out of his truck, this world-weary, too knowledgeable sigh that makes Eddie squirm. 

“I don’t know what you mean, old man.” Better to just play ignorant. Even though Eddie’s pretty sure he can’t escape Wayne’s withering gaze. He hasn’t in over ten years, so he likely won’t be starting now. 

Wayne just stares at him. A raised eyebrow and crossed arms that tell Eddie he means business. He’s not getting out of this. 

Eddie’s jaw shifts and he looks down at the figure in his hands. “I don’t really know what to do, Wayne.” 

“Move over,” Wayne says, settling down beside Eddie until they’re shoulder to shoulder, barely waiting for the little shuffle Eddie does to make room. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. Just stares across the yard in the same direction Eddie was moments before, a contemplative look on his face. “This about that boy?”

Eddie follows his gaze over to Steve. His silence goes on a little too long before he softly says, “yeah.” 

Wayne hums, still looking at Steve. “You know, you always were a late bloomer.”

That grabs Eddie’s attention. He turns towards Wayne, who takes that as his cue to continue, and sets down the figure behind them. 

“Nothing ever happened when I thought it would when you were a boy. Lizzy said you took forever to walk and talk. I kept waiting for you to come to me about the birds and the bees, but you didn’t. Not sure if that was a good thing to let go, but I knew you weren’t getting yourself into trouble. Probably wasn’t much I could offer you that public school wasn’t already teaching you.” 

Eddie wonders briefly if he should’ve hidden the condoms in his room better, but maybe that’s what gave Wayne the confidence to leave Eddie to his business. Even if they were collecting dust before they became dust that day the trailer cracked open.

“You never brought anyone around.” He nods in the direction of Steve. “Not until him.” 

The conversation with Steve is distantly replaying in his head. How he went over their every interaction with Robin and they came to this same conclusion. Maybe Eddie really is an idiot. 

“It wasn’t intentional,” Eddie adds. “I didn’t know what I was doing.” 

“I don’t think anyone knows what they’re doing, son. That’s part of life.” He pats Eddie on the back. “It’s ‘specially a part of being in love.” 

Eddie’s not sure he’s willing to start that train of thought, yet. He’s grateful for the quiet, unspoken acceptance, but he’s not ready to think about labeling it something as profound as love. He flounders for a second before saying, “I think I’ve missed my chance there,” as he looks back over at Steve. 

“Are you dead and I don’t know it?” He squeezes Eddie’s shoulder. “Seem pretty real to me.” He whacks Eddie’s head gently. “Ain’t nothing missed if you’re still alive to make things right.” 

“Hey!” Eddie laughs, mock offended at the attack, rubbing the back of his head and leaning away from Wayne. “Isn’t it socially unacceptable to joke about someone that was legally dead for almost three minutes?”

“I think I get leeway as the one that kept you alive for ten years by myself.” Wayne wrangles him into a side hug, pulling him to his chest with an arm around his neck. “Just cause things are broken, doesn’t mean you can’t fix ‘em, son.”

[homunculus-argument]

The ancient Romans didn't really care that much about distinguishing legends from historical records, a cool story is a cool story regardless of how much truth there is to it. Anyway, this one guy, named Gaius Mucius Cordus, later given the cognomen Scaevola - "left-handed", because ancient Romans weren't all that familiar with steel, and "balls of steel" was not an available option. Anyway the story goes that as a young soldier, he sneaked into an enemy' camp to assassinate their king. The attempt failed and he was captured. Looking death in the eye, he figured that the best course of action would be to survive by sheer audacity.

So he looked the king he just failed to assassinate in the eyes, told him that yeah I came here to kill you, and you can kill me now but you better get just as lucky every single time, because there's like 300 guys beside me who volunteered for this mission. And then he stuck his entire right arm into a pyre that was within reach, standing perfectly still in place while letting his hand burn, solidly keeping eye contact with the Etruscan king the entire time, just as a way of going "this is what I am capable of doing. This is what I can and will do to myself just to flex on you. The fuck do you think you could do that would harm me."

And the king was sufficiently freaked out by this and decided to just go alright, fair enough, you win this one, by all means please do fuck off, seriously just get the fuck out of my camp. So Mucius was freed and allowed to return to Rome, alive and unharmed if one does not count the collateral damage of one sword arm. And the Etruscan king came to the conclusion that whatever the fuck the Romans have going on, he wants nothing to do with that, and sent ambassadors to Rome to negotiate peace.

Anyway, that's also vaguely how I feel every time I see a tumblr user whose screen name is something like "autistic-faggot". I'm gay myself and have nothing but respect for people on the spectrum, but if all I know about this person is that this isn't just what they're braced to be called, but what the have specifically chosen to name themselves, and how they prefer to be addressed, you can't tell them shit that would even make them blink.

[yanderepuck]

Okay okay okay. Lulu and I were talking. About who would be a bad driver and what not and I was gonna write about ALL of them. But I specifically need to talk about Rei.

But I'll give a lil rundown first

Eiden: okay driver. Goes over the speed limit but follows road laws.

Aster: clearly a passenger princess

Morvay: he can't even read road signs lbr

Yakumo: no, well he can, but he rather be a passanger. Too much anxiety. Had a bumper sticker saying 'do t honk I'll cry'

Edmond: following ALL the laws. 100% model driver but you also hate him bc he will drive 5 under the speed limit

Olivine: he's gay and hitting the curb

Quincy: he has a truck but the back is 100% filled with the most random shit and it's never cleaned. Bonus: Topper has really bad road rage and makes Quincy roll down the window so he can cuss at others

Kuya: cannot and will not drive. Is Quincy's passenger princess but he's forced to sit in the bed of the truck.

Garu/Karu: don't you dare put him in the driver's seat. Can't reach the pedals.

Blade: he can...but that doesn't mean he should

Dante: he's a passenger princess. But he has the ability to drive. Doesn't mean he's good

OKAY NOW REI

God he drives a mini van. You know. One of the ones that has third row seating. The destination is 20 minutes away? He's getting there in 14.

The doors are different colors. It's so old..you aren't sure how it doesn't break down. Half of the dash board doesn't work. Every light is on.

Oh. And he doesn't have a license.

Scenario:

Eiden is freaking out because they have to be somewhere in 15 minutes but it's a 35 minute drive. And Rei is like 'oh don't worry I got this' and shove everyone in his van.

The set up:

Rei, driving obvs.

Kuya is in the passenger seat bc princess.

Quincy is in the seat behind Rei

Dante is in the seat behind Kuya, and Garu is on his lap, no working seatbelt.

Olivine is on the floor between the two

Back row is Eiden Yakumo and Edmond, they have one of those lap seatbelt that goes across the whole seat. Eiden is holding Aster (in lil guy form)

Blade somehow squeezed in the now tiny trunk part and is holding Morvay (also in lil guy form)

Rei looks at Kuya and tells him to put his seatbelt on, and Kuya is like "don't tell me what to do" and doesn't... Which Rei planned... because Rei doesn't know how to slow down. His foot is either from the gas or the break. Quincy knows this and is death gripping the seatbelt and making sure Topper is safe.

Rei slams on the breaks and Kuya slams his head off the dash just as Rei intended. This happens at least twice.

Dante is holding onto Garu for dear life who keeps asking to roll the window down.

Edmond is in the back, being held down by Olivine and Eiden

Edmond: KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD

Rei: *holding a mirror to do his make up*

He is the one who somehow is using a hair dryer in his car. Father is actually driving. Rei just uses the pedals.

Dante: your Holiness. Can you start a prayer

Olivine: *already started*

Edmond: I'M MAKING SURE YOUR LICENSE IS SUSPENDED

Rei: if I had a license

Edmond is having a fit

Dante is hoping Garu weighs enough to keep him safe in his seat.

Topper is now up front squeaking out the window and Quincy is telling him to be nice.

Rei: I know a shortcut

It's through the woods where there is no road

BUT. They made it with 2 minutes to spare.

Dante falls out of the car and throws up.

Blade and Garu are the only ones who had fun.

Rei is like "told you I could get us here on time"

Edmond has not stopped yelling for 8 minutes. Kuya's forehead is red from hitting the dashboard. Dante rather stay where they are and walk back then get in that van. Eiden and Edmond are offering to drive back but Rei won't let anyone drive his van. It's literally falling apart. Nothing works. Only he knows how to work it.

[relaxxattack]

I humbly request your dave nonbinary thoughts, we may not be ready but I want to know, I want to be enlightened

okay so here’s the thing.

dave strider is a closeted and repressed queer boy in 2009.

in the culture at the time (especially on the internet where he basically grew up) "gay" is used as a catch-all for basically all things evil, stupid, and wrong. as kids grow up they learn that— because patriarchal privilege is something you can lose the second you’re not performing your masculinity to an insane degree— being gay makes you not a real man. being gay means you’re an effeminate little freak, a subversion, a pervert. something to be scorned and taught a lesson. which is terrifying to these kids.

on top of all this, dave is being abused daily in the name of becoming a real man a hero. his ultimate example of heroism is a hypermasculine freak who physically, mentally, and sexually abuses him. of course dave doesn’t want to do introspection into the idea of liking men. just being a man is a burdenous ideal, and the sexuality of men is something that has been consistently used to harm him.

that’s where we come to the meteor trip. dave seems to be of the opinion that because earth is long gone, a lot of those restrictive social conventions should be gone as well— especially things like toxic masculinity, and gayness as a complete “other” that you have to “turn” to; he claims (correctly) that a lot of these restrictive social boxes are imaginary lines built by prejudice, and less absolute then people assume.

so, dave does not subscribe to the idea of hard labels.

it’s important for him to reclaim the idea of gayness, of course. dave has been agonizing over that for the entirety of the comic. his own sexuality is something that terrifies him, to the point where he cannot even manage to date women he actually likes. even if he really is truthfully interested in women, he cannot really handle that until he’s finally come to terms with himself as “gay”. (which is why i don’t think dave would use the term bisexual. even if he does know what that means, that’s not the word he’s been terrified of embracing for the past 16 years. dave strider is gay. his entire arc revolves around accepting this.)

but i think if dave was contemplating gender as much as he was contemplating sexuality on that trip, he would come to a similar conclusion about labels. and besides, masculinity isn’t exactly something that he’s had a positive relationship with.

this is why i think he’d be some form of nonbinary or agender. dave calls himself gay because of his hard-earned reclamation of that word, not specifically because he is never interested in women. i think if he were to call himself a guy, it would be along those same lines.

(i could also go on a tangent about dave’s existence as a hussie self insert and his arc and dialogue with these concepts as a reflection of someone who eventually came out as agender, but this post is long enough as it is)

basically, gay nonbinary dave strider. he’s real.

[allyricas]

I love gay Eddie and bisexual awakening Steve. It's solid and popular for a reason. It works, makes a lot of sense.

But...I also love flirty-cluelessly-queer Eddie and comfortable-with-his sexuality Steve.

Eddie does flirt. With everyone. It was pretty clear he was flirting with Chrissy. He was flirting with Steve. Calling him big boy and getting up in his personal space, being all cutesy.

So, imagine Eddie just casually flirting with Steve and it doesn't mean anything to him. He's just being Eddie. He isn't even aware that it's flirting. He really considers it teasing. The man is dramatic and silly. He loves to make a scene. So "teasing" people is fun for him.

Eddie who is a super senior running a DnD club for outcasts, loves Lord of the Rings, plays in a metal band. I think Eddie is always into some sort of hyperfixation to be trying to bang chicks or dudes.

There was totally a phase were he was obsessed with folk and old country music (Woody Guthrie much). There was the Jane Austen phase (It fits, c'mon). The time he tried to learn to crochet. His lasting phase with fantasy novels. His intense love of metal music. He knows a lot about music in general. Obscure shit. Oh, those handcuffs-definitely from his magic phase. Tell me, 12 year old Eddie didn't want to be a magician. He probably did card tricks, the whole deal.

Eddie would be the kind of guy who'd spout all sorts of random knowledge. He probably has one specific time period in history he could rant about for hours.

The man has raging ADHD (takes one to know one). He's a self-professed nerd and outcast. The only thing that might be considered "cool" is that he plays in his band. But even then, he's a total nerd about it.

Eddie is hot as hell. That is undeniable. But Eddie has been too damn busy being a fucking nerd to date or hook up. I think he's so focused on his interests, it could easily not have been on his radar. Same way he's failed senior year twice in a row despite being smart as hell. The shit they are trying to teach doesn't interest him and that makes Eddie fucking struggle.

He's bouncy and hyperactive. He probably has terrible tunnel vision when he gets into a book or movie or campaign. Dating has thus far not been interesting enough especially combined with how he's treated by the people in Hawkins.

So, yeah- he flirts and teases. He thinks it's harmless fun. With Chrissy, it was a way to make her feel safe and lighten the mood. With Steve, it's a way to disarm him. It's King Steve afterall. Why not play up the metalhead freak persona. Let him think he's weird.

It isn't until Steve starts flirting back and gives Eddie butterflies that Eddie realizes this is not heterosexual behavior. And he knows a lot about that because he was accidentally flagging for a whole goddamn year. Because he wanted to look metal as fuck and thought the bandana was badass.

Steve calls Eddie princess. Calls him pretty boy. Throws in a babe. Everytime Eddie refers to him as big boy or Stevie, Steve just smirks and comes up with a new pet name that wrecks Eddie (who has no idea what is fucking going on). Throw in the boys getting high together with no inhibitions and Steve actively trying to romance him and Eddie's in a full blown sexuality crisis.

best part: Steve thinks Eddie is gay because of the bandana that he wore all year. Add in all the flirting and then Steve's really putting the moves on totally clueless Eddie. And say what you want about Steve, but he has game. I can just imagine Eddie trying to frantically figure out why all of the sudden he wants to make out with Steve "the hair" Harrington and Steve's like...aren't you gay?

(if anyone knows of steddie fics anything like this, please rec them!)

[canichangemyblogname]

I’d personally like to know what fandom they’re in because every third day since May of this year, I have been subjected to takes that include statements like:

Tommy will cheat on Buck because gay men cheat.

Tommy will give Buck an STI because gay men sleep around.

I hope Tommy dies of AIDS.

Tommy is homophobic for dating Buck instead of a “femme twink bottom.”

If I were Buck, I’d have killed Tommy for flirting with me.

If you like Buck x Tommy, you’re just a fetishizer. Even if you’re a queer man. I said what I said.

We should stone Tommy.

M/M romantic relationships have always centered women.

Temu is a predator for dating a grown man who’s younger then him.

Jakey only wants Buck for his body and youth because gay men are shallow and superficial.

Which crime makes you want to execute Tteokbokki the most? Cutting a date short or calling a man by his given name?

Gay men are never actually gay; they just think they are. They actually like women, but don’t realize it or are lying.

Men like T*mmy should be beheaded for flirting with men the way he has with Buck.

Tommy is such a typical gay man, forcing himself on Buck in his loft and turning him gay.

Gay men are all liars, so I don’t expect Buck to put up with Tommy long.

Stereotypes about gay men obvi come from somewhere, and that’s real life! I have good cause to think Tommy will be bad for Buck as a gay man!

Buck’s not actually into men; Tommy is your typical man and pressured/coerced Buck into a relationship.

Tommy and Buck dating makes light of women’s relationship trauma.

Someone needs to tell Buck that he’s actually in love with his best friend!

The gayest thing to ever happen to Buck isn’t kissing a man or the implication he’s had sex with that man, but the one time he told his best friend he’d beat him up.

Buck x Tommy is problematic because they’re both men.

Tommy is a pedo because queer people prey on children and a teen in the show called him “cool” off-screen.

Any number of takes calling fans of 911’s recent decision to expand queer representation by including a same-sex male couple “bummies” or “bummers” << UK queer people have told y’all to knock it off. It’s a slur.

Also any number of takes saying that Buck & Tommy’s relationship feels “off-putting,” “creepy,” “gross,” “weird,” “nauseating,” or “obscene”

If you flirt with men like Tommy, you’re a predator. Simple.

Tommy is a freak and a fetishizer.

Relationships are only meaningful and worthwhile if it’s a slow burn and you more friends for the better part of a decade first.

I think this queer guy is secretly in love with and pining for his (straight) best friend.

Queer guys and straight guys can’t be friends; the attraction gets in the way.

Buck is going to cheat on Tommy because Tommy’s old and has a low libido and Buck’s a bisexual slut.

Tommy is grooming Buck!

So, yeah, I’d like to know what fandom you’re in where people are being homophobic to real queer people for *not* liking Tommy, because all I’ve seen is people literally sending death threats and CSAM fics to queer people—often specifically targeting queer men—who support 911’s newest canon queer couple. It has been MONTHS of targeted harassment. Months. I’d like to know WHO these people are who are harassing queer people in the name of defending a “homophobic queer character,” and then I’d like to know how that character is homophobic.

Please—I beg—tell me how Tommy is a “homophobic” gay man. How is he anything like the self-proclaimed “homophobic gay men” of buddieblr? Do tell. Without relying on any tropes about gay men being predatory. Because the only reason y’all think he is and can and would “groom” or “prey upon” a grown man is based in very popular irl queerphobic stereotypes about queer men. Y’all have spent the last five months essentially saying: “I want to subject this fictional character to violence because of real life false conceptions about men like him.”

[jinbeisluffy]

Me and my friend hung out for a few hours yesterday and yapped about op way too much so now i wanna contribute more sexuality hcs but for side characters instead of any specific group. you can have ur own hcs these r just mine

ace - TRANS TRANS TRANS TRANS TRANS you will believe in transmasc ace agenda. he is so trans, what are you doing walking around shirtless CONSTANTLY if not to flex your top surgery scars. he’d beat up anyone as a kid who called him a girl hes known this for a WHILE. sexuality wise hes gay, hes gay and theres not a hint of asexuality in him because hes a freak and unapologetically loves men openly. gay icon in the op world

law - i havent seen law being shipped with a woman once and i find that really funny and telling of what people think of him. and theyre correct, hes a gay man. difference between him and ace is that he’d rather die than admit he even likes people so yk. cis but he did ace’s top surgery

sabo - i have never before seen a character so very much be aromantic without being an implied aromantic character. hes not repulsed by romance its just that hes preoccupied with overthrowing the government and supporting his brothers at all times, he has other things to worry abt. gender, could be anything and could honestly fluctuate depending on the day. at the very least, he fist fights transphobes on the daily and in a modern au would hangout at iva’s drag bar and fight anyone who acts weird

yamato - if you dont think yamato is a transman i want you to get away from my blog okay thanks. that isnt a hc, thats a fact and ppl who disagree are weird in my eyes. sexuality wise, he could honestly like ANYONE, but he just finds himself drawn to men more often than not (ace) so if you were to ask him he’d just say “oh men are cool, women are pretty but you know i cant find myself drawn to them” and he thinks hes normal get a load of this guy

kaku - most proudly bisexual guy to exist. i think he started to think more to himself about things during his time at water 7. he could also be okay with it and live his life that way without any shame because he wasnt an assassin working for the government there, he was kaku so yk, he could actually openly be with whoever he wanted. gender, cis man but if you talk about him using they/them only he’d just laugh and not correct you

lucci - hah gay. him and kaku probably got married in water 7. cp9 questioned kaku for marrying lucci, meanwhile pauile just questioned to himself how things would work cause of the pigeon. lucci is such a gay man, he fucking trans too dont ask me how i know i just know. Ai can sniff out my fellow transguys from a mile away alright

kalifa - oh i love it when women hate on men but the second a woman shows up she acts all flirty and confident. totally heterosexual of you kalifa. no but shes such a man hating lesbian, she always has been and could probably be due to men’s treatment of her during childhood which made her really not like most of them. i need to write out a backstory for her damn. oh and shes trans trust me on that one

koby - sometimes a lot of op characters will be inlove with luffy and never get their feelings returned, and one of those people is koby. yeah hes gay, and asexual he just kept discovering stuff like that when training under garp cause garp is so okay with everything, and then we incorporate more moments between him and helmeppo like in the live action where they sit and talk about stuff. koby realises hes gay and sighs. “that explains a lot…”

buggy - gaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy he doesnt like women he cant bring himself to he had his first tragic yaoi relationship as a teen and never looked back. gender is whatever you want it to be baby. freaky as all hell my GOD every time im reminded of the cross guild and what they do to buggy i just know. theyre so freaky

shanks - bisexual icon but hes been hung up on the same ex (buggy) for so many years that other romances are less prioritised cause “omg what if buggy comes back:}” get over it man he aint coming back for u. trans man, look at him and his pussy yeah thats a trans dude hell yeah

Said friend i yapped with is —> @brooks-heart-sunglasses pookie 🤞

[ritzcuit]

it's no secret that i am a massive fan of spirit of justice, except more specifically, i am a massive fan of datz are'bal, and More specifically, i'm a fan of datz's relationship with dhurke, which i widely have to extrapolate from context clues bc this game hates me. so i often reread the transcripts, of 6-3 and 6-5, to reflect upon the nature of datz are'bal.

well... the way he talks abt dhurke drives me crazy mostly. and i wanted to compile all the freak moments where he yaps about dhurke and the kids. Plus some random extra bits... think of it like a dhurkedatz manifesto, if you want

screenshots using the ace attorney wikia transcript. soj spoilers ahead. Obviously

we have to start midway through the third case, 'cause up until this point datz had brain damage. anyway "brother in arms" gay. "just like you!" gay. Ok not that gay. but it demonstrates datz's entire purpose for being in this game, "im going to tell you about dhurke sahdmadhi in great detail"

oh god It's starting. this is from inspecting the board of photos in the defiant dragons' office.. sorry i forgot datz's other purpose for being in this game, "i'm going to tell you about dhurke sahdmadhi's kids in great detail." i cant. hes so. endlknfgdf

just all this yapping for no reason. it's like a guy showing you photos of his kids in his wallet. Yeah he went to school to study revolution^_^ being close enough to that family to know how much yuty looked up to dhurke is so... to know yuty's motivations... why do you know all this, datz?! do you think he would help yuty study for law school 🥺well dhurke definitely did too, but like...what if both of them helped 🥺

"dhurke's been beside himself" as if datz didn't just wistfully reminisce about how yuty used to be the pride of the dragons. you are NOT an impartial party my man! "we all thought! we were sure...!" it makes me wonder how many other rebels would know that dhurke was torn up over losing his son like this. he puts on a strong face, right, like everyone in ace attorney... but datz is at least close enough to see him struggling with it. like come awn

just more yapping. mind you, datz is currently pretending to be abandoning the revolution right now (though you probably can interact with this afterwards, when he gives up on that). but still. pov you went to a defector to get info on the defiant dragons, but all he's doing is talking about their leader's sons for no damn reason

BC IT'S THE LIKE. EAGERNESS. THAT GETS ME. he knew those kids and by god he is going to tell you about them 😭

inspecting the old sign........... it brings to mind a datz who used to hang around in dhurke's old office with him, like maya does phoenix, just being in his business for no good reason. young 20 somethings with the whole world open to them. "this place has seen better days" and i know damn well datz was seeing them too! Gay

talking to datz directly, this is under "dhurke the attorney" and the fanboying Begins in earnest. again, theoretically, he is pretending to defect from the dragons right now. it's like he was fucking vibrating waiting for phoenix to ask him about his best friend. "he was a force to be reckoned with! he was a juggernaut, as mighty as a dragon!" YOU! ARE! GAY! just geeking out over how cool dhurke was for NO REASON

STOP

Like i cannot express how much of a fucking geek he sounds like right here. "oh i'm defecting from the dragons cus dhurke is a traitorous snake. Anyway he's SO FUCKING COOL :)" he literally sounds awestruck. He would never surrender... sparkling eyes... EW

while breaking datz's psyche locks. gay

i dont even have anything to say. "that look in your eyes... it's just like dhurke's" Yeah i bet you pay attention to what dhurke's eye looks like you little freak. i bet dhurke said something rly cool in court one time and you fell in love with him then and there. Ewwwww Throws hammers. also i just like these lines it's very badass of him. datz said ok ill die for the dragons idgaf and phoenix said IGAF VERY MUCH PERSONALLY I LOVE NOT DYING

pff

later on, after all topics were cleared, datz exposition dumps some more. nothing actually that interesting but "dhurke was framed, i'm telling ya!" is sooo cute to me. it makes me wonder how many rebels do still think dhurke's guilty, but are critical of the ga'ranian regime for other reasons. probably a lot, right? thinking about datz defending dhurke's innocence to other dragons, but then dhurke's like... datz it's fine if they think i'm guilty, so long as they still agree with our cause. it isn't about me it's about the greater good of khura'in. and datz is like. OK BUT THEY'RE STILL WRONG THOUGH 😭😭

"it's like dhurke used to say" fanboy. there's no other words for it

"fangs of the defiant dragons" is an interesting thing. datz calls himself that thrice (once during the trial after he regains his memory and once later on in 6-5). i don't know what it means. LOL i even made my friend who knows japanese hunt down the original line to try and understand it, and we got nothing bc it's basically identical. it gives off the impression that He's Him, tm, he's The Guy, who does shit.. which isn't actually very dhurkedatz, but it's dhurkedatz to me. so much of dhurke IS the revolution, and the dragons. their entire relationship is through the revolution and the dragons. so it stands to reason that if datz is important to the dragons, then he's important to...?well you know

like the defiant dragon bites down and doesnt let go. it needs fangs to bite, of course.......oh the crucial datz...crying

that's basically it for 6-3, except the very end-

aw. theyre hanging out :)

cutting to 6-5 because 6-4 has nothing for us. i have dreams that 6-4 actually has datz in it somewhere and i just never checked, because there's something wrong with me

datz isn't here yet.. this is from inspecting charley, obvs. who's "we" though. you know who we is? it's datz. now. to me. it's dhurke and datz. they lost aj and then yuty ok let them have their cactus. This could also just be a lie ENDFKLNGDF But its too easy to imagine datz getting a cactus and being like "it's like aj! 'cause of it's spines!" and dhurke is Just enough of a sad lonely old man to keep it around. until it like dies i guess rip apollo

talking to dhurke under "request" gives us this. My Compatriot. god made them compatriots bc they would be unstoppable as canon lovers. my compatriot. i should smack u. THATS UR FANGS IDIOT -_- Anyway it's clear from how much datz yaps abt him, but it's nice to have confirmation that apollo remembers him too :) running around him... maybe its "running around with him"? i wouldnt know. but still...so cute..what if i cried rightnow

a whole bunch of nothing bc they're keen on hiding him from me. this is ages later while inspecting the suitcase in archie buff's house. dhurke...thats ur knucklehead...

apollo remembering enough about datz to make fun of him *wiping tear from eye*im so happy *sniffling*

talking to paul atishon, who does not matter. dhurke... hes your buffoon....

but don't worry. he's here. it's datz. everyone get excited. it's time for The Scene, of which i have actual screenshots

this is my "intellectual attraction" this is my "unnecessary feelings" my "her respect as a coworker wasn't all i wanted" orhowever that shit goes. Dhurke! You're a sight for sore eyes! it's so nothing compared to those other three, but i can't help it. I love it so much.....

i love datz being such a freak who can't calm down for 5 minutes. i love dhurke being so understated here. its so funny. he said girl calm down it's just me 😭 and datz's stupid big ass smile once he realizes it's oomf.. i knew you'd come save me!

it's worth noting that in jp, according to my friend who knows these sorts of things, "you're a sight for sore eyes" is just "My partner!" with partner being aibou, which is also used for phoenix/edgeworth, klavier/daryan, and asougi/ryuunosuke. It's too much...datz likes him so bad. get a ROOM!

theyre both so weird

if you present the founder's orb transfer agreement, you get this exchange. please...the banter. i wish we got 50000p more pages of this.

Anyway um it turns out i hit image limit ...smiles cheekily...i could replace the sight for sore eyes pics with one screenshot, but i wont, bc its that important To Me. well. ill continue this in a part 2 because there is still plenty more to be seen

[dragoncityinteriordesign]

Hey, Guardian fans! Got something here you might like!

And that something would be Kaleidoscope of Death (the 2018 gay webnovel) and the Spirealm (the 2024 drama based on it). You can read the more detailed rec posts for both Kaleidoscope of Death and the Spirealm (as well as for some other media, all of which you can read here), but I wanted to come in and do a specific post about why I think fans of Guardian would really have a good time with these two.

This isn't just my observation -- other people who are fans of both have commented on how they scratch the same itch. They're just similar enough to one another to feel familiar, which still different enough that nothing feels repetitive/derivative. It's also funny to me how much the relationship of Guardian the book to Guardian the show is like the relationship of Kaleidoscope of Death to the Spirealm. They're both spooky gay stories that lose a lot in the adaptation to television, but also gain a lot in the process, until it's hard to say which one is the superior telling of the story.

So I'm coming in here with an extremely quick, spoiler-free-as-I-can-make-them five reasons why fans of Guardian in particular might be inclined to enjoy this book/show combo.

1. These boys are not normal about one another

I know you love it when the boys are not normal about one another. Ruan Nanzhu (cunty, well-dressed, on the left) and Lin Qiushi (sporty, cat dad, on the right) are extremely not normal about one another.

(Guardian lucked out in that when the drama was made, shows hadn't yet started doing the bullshit of changing the danmei boys' TV names. Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei are Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei no matter where they are -- but these two are Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi in the book, and Ruan Lanzhu and Ling Jiushi in the show. I'm going to be using their book names just because I've seen them written more often and they look more correct to me now.)

There's a Reason they're together. Maybe they don't go back as far as Ye Olde Haixing, but rest assured theirs is not a random encounter. Also, just like in Guardian, the Reasons in the book and the show have some surface similarities, but play out very differently.

This is a slow-burn gay love story that's a freak4freak relationship featuring two completely different kinds of freak. Lin Qiushi is the only person Ruan Nanzhu's ever let get close to him. Ruan Nanzhu's the only person who's ever pierced Lin Qiushi's cat-loving veil of obliviousness. Theirs is the true love of being willing to burn down the world for the same person you love annoying the pants off of. They're hot-and-cold messes who can't live without one another.

Obviously, as in Guardian's case, the boys-kissing parts are textual only in the book, not in the show. But keeping them from kissing actually ends up making them way less normal about one another. Yes, tell the guy who's technically your boss to platonically call you "daddy." What's not heterosexual about that?

2. Fun horror(-ish)

Both books have fantastic worlds and weird metaphysical conflicts, where terrible and unsettling things happen. They have ghosts and ghost-like things that can scare you and even kill you. Both contain some really unsettling passages about gore, violence, and body horror, and both include at least a bit of background cannibalism from one of the party members.

...And both shows have had those elements totally nerfed by censorship. Just as the ghosts of Diyu become the aliens of Dixing, the mysterious door worlds of Kaleidoscope of Death become the eeeeevil American video game of the Spirealm. It's exactly as silly and nonsensical as it sounds, and I know you can laugh your way through how stupid the adaptation choices are, because you already have.

Does this destroy the horror of it? Eh, yes and no. No, because there are still fundamentally some horror-esque things going on. But also yes, because having all these killer doors be part of a video game is about as nonsensical as having a lot of aliens living in the center of the earth, and it all winds up being a bit ... well, silly. At least Guardian had the excuse of having to do a last-minute scramble; the Spirealm was committed to this from the start. (What the Spirealm also has that Guardian the show lacks is the occasional hilarious, perfunctory digression into how eeeeeeevil capitalism is, which is its own form of both cringe and comedy.)

The book is legitimately creepy, though. There were a couple points I found myself reading it late at night, right before going to bed, and thinking, hm, maybe I should not be doing this. I love it so much that I actually read it the first time, got to the very important information in the first extra, turned right around, and read it a second time with that new context. It's not so horror that a casual reader couldn't enjoy it, but maybe leave the lights on while you do.

3. We're not co-workers, we're found family.

You know how the SIU/SID crew is the best and the most wonderful and you want to pick them up and hug them all and put them in your pocket and carry them around with you? Yeah, it's likely you're going to have a similar reaction to the Obsidian members and their associated friends.

Both SIU/SID and Obsidian have similar qualities where they're organizations operating under the radar of normal society, doing jobs that do not respect 9-5 boundaries or lunch breaks, where things are dangerous enough that you have to trust your co-workers with your life on a very regular basis. But while only the Guardian ghosts live at headquarters, everyone in Obsidian shares the same house. They eat meals together, watch movies together, play board games together, hang out and read in the TV pit together, decorate the house for New Year's together, barge into one another's rooms together...

Did you love it when Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan wound up living in apartments conveniently across the hall from one another? You're likely going to feel a similar kind of way when Ruan Nanzhu immediately moves Lin Qiushi (and his cat!) into the bedroom across the hall from his own.

As with Guardian, the book has more characters than the show does, but that's because it's cheaper to write a new character than it is to hire a new actor. And it's also easier to write off a new character than it is to get rid of a main cast member, so the book and the show have slightly different lists of who lives and who dies, and when. Take my "be careful who you get attached to" warning seriously.

4. A similarly batshit television aesthetic

Okay, okay, so nothing will ever be like Guardian's thrift-store maximalist approach to set dressing. The Spirealm is more intentional about its choices, and less like all it can afford to do is to keep reusing the same dozen objects repositioned slightly. The Spirealm is what it looks like when you actually have all the money you need and still choose to decorate like Guardian did.

Because of the story's supernatural main conceit, a lot of the environments are bizarre, impossible worlds that do not rely much on petty little things like logic or accuracy or the laws of physics. They're basically dreamscapes, filled with things that don't make sense but also don't have to.

The whole thing is also beautifully shot. I know that a lot of the screenshots emphasize the extremely yellow Wong Kar-wai color grading that I honestly wish weren't there, but it's fine in context. Really, the framing, the motion of the camera, the composition of scenes -- it's just all lovely. I've been watching it with no sound or subtitles on to do screenshots, and I keep being astonished by how nice it is to just look at.

Shen Wei's clothing choices seem tame compared to the high strangness Ruan Nanzhu considers fashion. He'll see your arm garters and raise you a coat that somehow has three lapels. No, I don't know how it works either. But if you like seeing a beautiful bitchy man in bizarre outfits (and I know you do), the Spirealm's got you covered.

And are there inexplicable English-titled books, both generically fake and perplexingly real? Baby, you know there are.

The Spirealm's set design is ultimately not nearly as interesting as Guardian's is, but it's definitely more engaging than most. If you (like me!) enjoy pausing and squinting at the backgrounds of shots, this will bring you hours of scrutinizing entertainment.

5. Not not the same endings

By this I mean, the end of Guardian the book is to the end of Guardian the show as the end of Kaleidoscope of Death is to the end of the Spirealm. I don't mean the exact same things happen, and I can't tell you exactly what happens without spoiling some major things I don't think should be spoiled. What I do mean is that they feel very similar in the relationship between source and adaptation.

Now that I've said this, you're going to be thinking, oh, I know how it ends! No, I promise, you really don't. But when you finally experience said endings, you're going to understand what I mean. Xi Zixu, writing Kaleidoscope of Death in 2018, could not have been responding to the ending of Guardian the show, which was airing at the same time the novel was being released. However, I'd be willing to put down a not-small amount of money that the production team on the Spirealm was at least passingly familiar with Guardian. I don't think it's accurate to say the Spirealm's ending is a direct response to Guardian the show's ending, but I do believe it understands that it's contributing to a conversation to which the endings of both Guardian versions already belong.

And that's all I'm going to say about that! You'll get it when you get there.

bonus: kitty!

This is Chestnut. Chestnut is perfect.

I find it charming how much Xi Zixu, the author, loves cats. She talks about her cat in her author's notes. She waxes poetic about how great cats are in the prose. She has obviously chosen to make Lin Qiushi a cat dad for reasons of writing her own favorite personal traits onto her blorbos.

Of course Ruan Nanzhu is jealous of a cat. He's jealous of himself. He's a one-man jealousy machine when it comes to Lin Qiushi's affections. He's being so normal right now.

Have I convinced you?

Scroll down to the bottom of the rec posts I mentioned earlier to find all the information you need to read Kaleidoscope of Death and all the information you need to watch the Spirealm.

My final verdict is that Guardian the show is substantially better than the Spirealm, and Guardian the book is also better than Kaleidoscope of Death -- but by a much, much narrower margin. I don't even have strong feelings about which one of them you should experience first; I actually started the show, jumped to the book, read it while I was watching the middle episodes, and then finished the show, and even that broken-ass order was not a bad way to approach them. But be prepared to do both! You'll want to do both. Trust me.

Anyway, after you're done watching/reading, come find me at @thirteenthdoor, which is where I'm putting all my Kaleidoscope of Death/Spirealm analysis, reblogs, and shitposting. But only after, because I'm not being careful about spoilers at all over there.

See you in the doors!

[k9effect]

I see your pre and post-bradley jake headcanons and I raise to you (for the purpose of angst)

They both ruined each other. They were sweet and in love and both thought they were going to get married but then a mistake or miscommunication (I have a headcanon that Bradley overheard Jake talking to his mum who didn't know he is gay and assuming he's just a fling and freaking out and breaking it off) causes them to part ways, both broken hearted and now both hide behind a mask to keep anyone from hurting them like they hurt each other.

WOW that got long, sorry!

Oh dude absolutely

Their break up is so specific in my head. I've always seen it as Bradley is the one who kinda tears everything apart. That he was too insecure about their relationship, would always think back to his parents and how he just didn't have their sort of love with Jake so obviously it wasn't LOVE love right? He was remembering something so skewed and blown out of proportion because all these memories were from when he was a kid. And he never saw when they argued or made each other mad, so when he was arguing with Jake a lot he thought it was cause he didnt really love him. So he let his insecurities get the better of him until it led to this massive fight. We know from canon that brad can say some pretty painful things (i.e. what he said to mav after the birdstrike) so he definitely picked his words to harm Jake and harm they did. In my head it was kind of half premeditated, Bradley was just gonna leave, his transfer was approved and such but he wanted to leave nicely and part amicably, but then it devolved into this huge argument. And there was no possible way to fix it so he leant into it and hurt Jake just so so so badly. Said some horrible things and Jake is just always playing those words in his head, often when hes up in the air. Brad really dug into his insecurities about fitting in and such, so he starts flying on his own, disobeying orders and leaving patterns. Starts the lone wolf life.

Jake becomes that guarded, angry, snarky guy we know, but Bradley becomes lonely and bitter, pushes people away cause he doesnt think he has it in him to love anyone. Because he loved jake the most he could love someone, but it was never good enough, so maybe he cant love?

But if they'd just talked and Bradley explained his insecurities (and maybe go to therapy a little but thats asking a lot) they could have worked on their relationship and it wouldve been fine but no, it all got torn to shreds and they both got hurt beyond repair. Jake has abandonment issues and Bradley has his commitment issues.

[thetombedspirit]

First Playthrough of AFoP: Secret of the Spires! - WARNING! Spoilers Ahead!

The Majority of my thoughts throughout playing the DLC.

Finally, I got the glitching drum quest and the Games Camp community basket done and over with! It was a good way to get back into practice with the controls.

Am I just dumb, or is the game glitching on me?! Why won't the plane blow up- OH COME ON! I'M THROWING EVERYTHING BY THE HOMETREE AT THIS MOFO!! - Really?! You wouldn't blow up because I wasn't shooting you in a very specific spot?! Bird you, dude!

Nor? Oh NOOOOOOR! Where are youuuuuuu? Oh, talk of a stranger Na'vi hanging around the area? About time- wait, Rasi who-? Oh, hello, fellow Sarentu character! Have you seen Nor? He's about this tall, clearly emo (and maybe gay) but we never had the talk.

Oooh, I have more skills for my Ikran and I can actually apply defensive armour and cook treats for her? WHERE WERE THESE OPTIONS IN THE CORE GAME!?

Getting mad at video game mechanics is automatically cured by sneaking around and killing video game fascist mercenaries.

... we don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no.

Oh, random Na'vi identified as a Sarentu saved So'lek from a sniper shot! Is it Rasi and Nor? Nope, just Rasi, that's cool! Love how protective Teylan already is of her once I said she was in the base.

Once I finished speaking to Anufi and Tsu'lo, I go up to find Teylan and Ri'nela and on my way I think, "Wait, what if Rasi is Nor's mum?" . I don't think that's the case, or she would have verbalize as such when we were talking about Nor, but how neat would that be. It'd be like we have a piece of Nor with us until we find him. Anyway, now that Rasi is here, I expect us to be re-educated on the way of the Sarentu. Maybe we'll finally get a Na'vi accent 😆

Cons:

This game needs some SERIOUS fine tuning, because I'm having bad guys be 'alerted' to my presence, when I'm literally half way across the map. One instance, where I'm trying to hunt for some Meer Dear, and this chopper just comes out of nowhere, attacks me, flies off to the horizon, but then summons two more choppers and a squad to my location, and they are already in the red despite being several yards away from me.

Maybe I'm just dumb, but I feel like it should not be so hard to find the objectives of certain quests.

Pros:

New Location!

And it looks gorgeous. The Spires are beautiful, there are new animals, and they freaked me out (the whole bit with the tunnels in the beginning, I thought I was being chased by something much bigger and completely ignored the first appearance of the Chiroptera XD)

2. The New Characters

The story kicks off when Anufi asks us to find another branch of the Kame'tire, who have still yet to return. While it is ultimately disappointing that we're not getting an entirely new clan, just a variation of a familiar clan, we are introduced to a new character: Rasi, a fellow Sarentu Survivor living in self-imposed exile.

Speaking of which, I like the one Na'vi that chided me for using a Sky Person name for a Pandoran creature, and my character correcting herself for it. Yes!

4. The Chrioptera

These guys were so cool, and so annoying at the same time. I thought they were gonna be so much bigger, but thanks Eywa, they were Ikran size!

4. Taylen is as cute as ever.

Just throwing that in there, I love my tall, strange son. I love when he starts geeking out, and we have to kindly reprimand him that we are in the middle of a hostile base and nows not the time!

My poor baby misses Nor so bad and just wants him to come back.

Overall View

While I am a little bit disappointed that we didn't get a brand new clan and that we didn't get Nor back, I do think this DLC was worth the wait.

While tiresome that there weren't that many fast travel points around the map, I actually like that, as it forces us to get to places via Ikran, something that the DLC advertised!

And while the new villain of the DLC was pretty boring compared to our literal kidnappers and abusers, he was a very challenging boss and it felt good to hit him with lightning and watch him crash and burn.

And we have a new veteran Sarentu to add to our family. I love that Ri'nela tries to comfort a homesick Teylan by humming the Sarentu song, only for Rasi to appear out of nowhere, singing the words and painting a Sarentu mural (seriously though, how did she get that done so quickly without anyone noticing? No wonder the RDA couldn't find her.)

And that voice cameo of freaking Quaritch basically putting his foot down on our resistance efforts and demanding we get squashed. Nice! And with how pissed he sounds, I'm guessing that this is right after ATWOW, where not only he lost his entire team of Recoms, but lost Spider too. Cuz yeah, he sounds angee.

Love how tight knit our little family has become and how steadfast they are in their bond (thought Ri'nela was running up to hug So'lek for a second, and my man looked so surprised when Teylan touched his shoulder XD) and now they all agree that it's time to find Nor and bring him back to the clan and prove that the Sarentu has a future.

So, overall, while I felt that this DLC was a bit short and the villain had little meat on his bones, this was a good DLC and with how they ended it with a possible sequel game with the mission to find Nor and the cameo of Quaritch so fingers crossed that AFOP comes back and that whatever sequels pops out pops with a BANG!

And hey! Since this game takes place during the one year absence of the Sullys, maybe if they do make a sequel, it'll take place during Ash and Fire! Maybe, Quaritch's cameo is a hint of him coming in, after aligning with Varang and the Mangkwan Clan! Can you imagine? A small clan that is rising to reclaim what is taken from them, vs a clan that has forsaken Eywa willingly and aligned with the RDA! With Quaritch leading them! That'd be bananas!!

Fingers crossed! C you guys around!!💙

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

15 Day BL Challenge - DAY 4

May the 4th be you? skdjskdjk

Fave Ship Dynamic

Hm... So far I think this is the hardest one to answer for me. I don't typically watch something for a specific dynamic, I watch things based on whether or not I think they're well done.

HOWEVER, if you're really pointing a gun to my head and forcing me to pick... Then I guess I'll have to go with:

Unhinged4Unhinged

These men are ABNORMAL, they are positively INSANE. No one else in the world could survive being with them if not for their own selves. But that's okay. As we say in Portuguese: só se estraga uma casa (only one home is ruined). Because they fit together, they make sense together. Can they fix each other? Probably not. Do they make each other worse? Likely. But hey, no one ever said love was about being sane, right? sdkjskdjkdjk

Here for you I present some examples:

VegasPete (Kinnporsche)

They shall forever reign supreme in this category. No one gets them like they get each other. They are absolutely beyond comprehension to anyone who doesn't have the exact same trauma and brand of autism they do. They would scare the shit out of most people, myself included. Whether they'll save each other or destroy each other will remain for us to consider forever.

Plus you don't get to enjoy having your balls fried by a guy who eats unwashed ass and not show up here. Like, no. I had to. It's a moral obligation.

ChenAi (Kiseki: Dear to Me)

In my defence, I said Kiseki would continue to show up. You can't really blame me. Plus, like... Dying for each other, killing for each other... Nearly killing each other as well. Plus all those damn kinks... I don't think I gotta explain further.

WenZhou (Word of Honor)

You can dare to tell me Word of Honor is not technically a BL but if my classmate trying to stab my eye with a pencil in 3rd grade didn't make me blind, it's not China's censorship that's gonna make me. I saw gay so I said gay. That ain't bullying, that's an astute observation!

I don't think anyone who's watched these absolute freaks commit war crimes for each other (and just bc) needs me to explain why they're insane.

I'm sure there are more great examples but I think you understand what I mean. Ig, in the end, Tinashe is right: somebody just gotta match your freak sdksjdksjdks

[narrynukezankielover]

I love this part in season 8 ep 19. Naomi acting like she’s a good angel and had nothing to do with the way Cas was acting and Dean not believing her at all. Dean saying you don’t think I know you’re the reason Cas was acting weird since he got out of purgatory and that you are the one that told Cas to kill me. Then telling her I don’t trust angels which means I don’t trust you. I’m going to guess that angels can sense love because Naomi said yet you didn’t ward the place against us. You’re hoping Cas will come back to you. If she was talking about Cas just coming back but not specifically to Dean she wouldn’t have added the to you part and Deans face here shows he thought he wasn’t being obvious. Naomi hasn’t met Dean before now so how else would she know Deans feelings for Cas.

This is just a cute moment. I believe it’s in ep 20. Charlie calling Cas dreamy. It’s times like this I wish they would show more scenes of characters just sitting down talking. Charlie hasn’t met Cas yet so how does she know he’s dreamy. I know she reads the Supernatural books but when she said it Dean didn’t look surprised. He hasn’t read the books and don’t know how Cas is written. Sounds like Dean might’ve told her about Cas. I would like to know how Dean would describe Cas looks.

This scene in ep 22 is freaking amazing. The eye f*cking is beyond amazing but I find it funny that Sam is sitting right next to them obviously feeling like he shouldn’t be there witnessing this moment and had to cough to get them to stop. Even in the next scene Sam tells Dean to give Cas a break because he’s one of the good guys (seems like Sam was looking for an excuse to get Dean alone to calm him down). Dean asks why he (himself) is treating Cas differently than he would other people. He said if it was anyone else (I believe he said literally anyone else) he would stab them in the neck so why should he let Cas off. Sam is just like it’s Cas. Seems like Dean don’t quite understand his feelings. He knows he has feelings for Cas but he probably never realized before that he treats Cas differently than he treats other people. I really like the whole Sam knows about Cas and Dean but instead of saying something he’s just letting them figure out their feelings. You can always see the awkwardness on Sams face that he knows he shouldn’t be there or shouldn’t be listening or watching but he has no choice. I find it really funny.

I find it cute that Cas wanted to make it up to Dean so not only did he go shopping but he made sure to get porn and beer for Dean and by the looks of it might’ve tried to hurt that guy to get Dean pie if the Metatron didn’t stop him.

In ep 23 there is another gay moment happening to Dean but what’s interesting is Dean looks surprised and Cas doesn’t. Dean doesn’t look surprised that the guys are gay but more that they are open about it. It looks like Dean is thinking you guys don’t care that people are seeing you flirting? Yet Cas doesn’t change his expression at all. He did say in an earlier ep when he thought he was god that he’s indifferent to sexuality. Maybe he (or all angels) don’t think about sexuality. You love who you love and that’s it.

I have to include this moment because it broke my heart. The poor boy was trying to fix everything and the Metatron f*cked him over. He took advantage of Cas and it ended with the angels falling. Cas looks like he wants to cry.

In season 9 ep 1 Ezekiel say some angels still believe in the mission which means we believe in Cas and you. I love the angels putting Cas and Dean together.

Dean aloud himself to get beat up just so the angels wouldn’t go looking for Cas even though he had no idea where Cas was.

Now i’m just going to fangirl. Holy hell. This scene is hotter then all the sex scenes combined on this show and yet this isn’t even a sexy scene. I need more shirtless Cas scenes.