#‘saw (2004) bathroom’ exactly

[zer0point5ive]

feeling soo exceptionally normal about this right now thankyou studiohouse designs

[anneonomus]

guy who’s only ever seen saw (2004), having a period: hmm. getting a lot of saw trap vibes from this

[fantasynsuch]

Adam Stanheight SFW + NSFW headcanons

REQUESTS FOR SAW OPEN!

2.3k words

Sfw

How you meet!

you two meet probably in the hallway of your crappy apartment complex.

you run into him from the corner, he had his headphones in and was listening to it on full volume, and you were running late for work

crashing head first into neighbor? you dick he probably thinks to himself as he realizes he just ran into his neighbor.

he'd seen you around before: mostly rushing to whatever crappy retail job of the month you had

he had thought you were really beautiful, but he was a coward at heart, so never did anything about it

this time he didn't have the choice to not interact with you: well, without looking like a dick

"I am SO sorry. I'm such a dumbass." He rushes out before he can think

Youre still kinda in a little bit of shock, so you just look up at this incredibly handsome man who just face planted into you for a long while

he thinks your silence is you rejecting his apologies and he quietly apologizes and runs off

but you just were so enamored by him that you couldn't say anything

at work all you can think about is how you didn't accept his apologies and probably made him feel horrible

you were determined to make things right so after work you grab a couple packs of the smokes you always saw him with from the store and rush to his apartment

you timidly knock on his door and wait with bated breath

he sees you through the peephole and momentarily considers not answering it

but he sees the bag you have in your hand and is curious

he opens it, fully expecting to be yelled at for running into you

but all that happens is you raise the bag up quickly and say "i'm so sorry i didn't say anything, i feel so bad. i just was in shock because you're s-" you stop and say nothing after realizing your rambling

he looks in the bag and notices the smokes

you smile at him shyly

and that starts a beautiful relation

how you are as friends

you stay over ALOT

he tends to not eat the best so you make him alot of dinners and lunches to make sure he's eating regularly

his work as a professional stalker keeps him up at odd hours so those pre made meals are rlly a life saver

buying each other candy and snacks alot

when the other was having a rough month fiancially, you would try to pick up the slack andhelp them

that means buying the other small groceries and items to get them through till the next check

you stay over sm the other has toiletries like tooth brushes n soap at the others place

going to parties together but only talking to one another bc ur both not super extroverted

you just go for the free alcohol

speaking of which,,, taking care of each other when the other is drunk

he holds ur hair when ur sick in the toilet,

you rub his back when he's sick

when the other is actually ill as in cold or the flu, bringing each other soup n montioring each others temp

making sure the other takes their meds to get better

inevitably the other gets sick with the same thing, but it just ends up the same way with the other taking care of u

leaving notes in his mail slot when he's busy, and since its 2004, no fast messaging so "coming over at 5!! xoxo" in his mail slot

he lives kinda like a typical man with basically only a chair and essentials , bare ass living room

taking him to the thrift store to get like a decent couch n maybe an arm chair

helping him expand his wardrope to something beyond crappy second hand flannel n white shirt (preferably without blood on it)

helping him get through his trauma over the trap

you cant exactly help him get over it, but ur there when he has bad moments

holding him while he sobs in ur lap

just stroking his hair n reminding him hes here n not at the god awful bathroom

it really calms him down and reminds him he is present in this moment, not that one

he sometimes gets insecure about his scar on his shoulder and tries to hid it but you remind him that he shouldnt be embarassed for being strong enough to survive

helping him get back into normal non stalkery photographer- his need to make money to live kinda outweighed his desire to just take pics of birds

speaking of which: he def loves nature photography

he lives in new jersey, so its rare he gets to do that, but its a nice treat

road trips with him n he spends the whole time as a passenger princess asking you to stop n take pics of a dead tree that has a rlllly nice backdrop

ur crappy car probably breaks down once or twice but its part of the adventure

In a relationship

kisses. lot of f'ing kisses

neck kisses, forehead kisses, navel kisses. any types!

probably is the little spoon lbr

follows ur lead for the most part

want to go to the theatre? it may take out half his money but he WILL pay for the date

probably gets u sweet treats alot n writes a little note that says "love you babe!"

he def clings to you everywhere u go

got to go to the kitche? catch him hugging u from behind n not letting go

can't fall asleep without each other anymore

he used to have a twin sized mattress but he decided to buy a full after u moved intogether

speaking of which, he definitely moved into your apartment

you have a two bedroom n that allows him to have a red room for his photography and a bedroom

he probably only had a redroom and slept on the couch at his apartment tbh

typical man

very clean n likes to take showers with you

his fav thing is his hair being washed by you

the scraping on his scalp is incredibily grounding

he loves washing you as well, and not in a sexual way.

theres something so domestic about cleaning each other that he loves.

ultimately i think his interactions with cheating rich men has spoiled a bit of his view of marriage, but with you he really can see himself settling down and being a forever thing. beyond everything, he trusts you

he craves domesticity so he will enjoy providing for you and helping with the house

loves to cook, his mom probably taught him

doesn't really have a jealousy problem, though he can get jealous from time to time

very rare, but if he does, there might actually be a substantiated reason

doesn't want kids atm, as he can barely support himself and you.

waiting up for you to get home no matter how tired he is

wants to make sure you're home safe

rlly co dependent directly following the trap. can't be in the bathroom by myself, it reminds him too much of the trap. he needs you to be in the room with you while you speak to him through the curtain, or even better, being in the shower with you.

needs constant reassurance he isnt a burden on you

he feels like you don't deserve to be with a man who has so many problems

you tell him constantly that you will be there no matter what

holding hands just to remind him of your presence.

calms him down alot more than you expect

if you happen to be late getting home from work, he may partially freak out: thinking you left him finally

you'll find him sobbing on the couch curled in on himself

he's so vulnerable after lawrence left him there

he doesn't know that lawrence didn't break his promise intentionally so he holds alot of resentment for him

kissing his cheeks and telling him you'll never leave

onto more happy things:

MOVIE NIGHTS!!! you religiously watch movies together and spend most of the time talking about the stupidity of the characters or something.

never meeting his parents bc he's not on good terms with them

LOVES THAT YOURE ABOUT HIS HEIGHT, he's not a tall man and has never been insecure about his height, but the fact he's eye level with you makes it extremely intimate in his opinion

or if you're taller than him, his man brain goes ooga booga and thinks "tall woman/man" and all bets are off

NSFW

okay, to go ahead and put this glaringly obvious thing out there: HE HAS A THING FOR BEING A SUB!!!

He needs you to take control and tell him what to do

grab him by his hair and shove him in between your legs? yes ma'am

ask him to kneel and eat you out on a hardwood floor? done

he absolutely would do anything for you

he needs reassurance what he's doing is good: and rest assured, it is

he probably is a bit messy, and not very controlled

sloppy licks and desperate sucks are common

same thing for when he's inside you

ragged thrusts and a desperate pace

hes probably desperate bc you havent let him cum the whole session

his cock is probably a bit under average length wise, but good god is his girth something to marvel at

everytime he takes you he stretches you

very skinny man, and once you get your claws into him, he probably gains weight which gives him a cute bit of chub that you love to grab onto while he's thrusting into your hole haphazardly.

its almost like a leash

he absolutely needs direction the first couple times, hes so nervous he's shaking

you ask if he wants to keep going and he nods quickly n says theres nothing he's ever wanted more, but assuming this is following the trap, he absolutely needs someone to tell him what to do

could definitely get off from watching you cum (it's def happened before, his poor red cock hadn't been touched all night beyond the grinding on the bed he's hidden from you while eating you out and seeing your intense pleasure just,, he couldn't hold on anymore)

probably circumcised with a tasteful amount of hair, enough to be cute but not enough to be annoying

his nipples are probably so sensitive and he doesnt even know it, he's never thought to play with them

the first time you brush them he gasps and leaks precum

from then on they become a regular part of your routine when playing with him

PLEASE CALL HIM A GOOD BOY!!!

the first time you do, his head is thrown back in ecstasy from your mouth on his cock, and when you pull up, you tell him to look at you while still stroking his cock, and you say "youre my good boy. cum for me my baby boy."

he immediately cums and is embarrassed for weeks, even with your reassurance that it was the hottest thing you've ever seen

speaking of head, he loves getting it but he absolutely enjoys giving it more

theres something so sexy about being able to lick you to completion

when he gets head, he's so lost in his own pleasure that he forgets to breathe and when he remembers, he takes deep breaths

is so in love with your body

he thinks your the hottest person he's ever seen

would probably want to call you mistress or momma. i dont make the rules

RIDE HIM RN

he loves when you're on top, it makes him feel so helpless

alright so: he definitely wants you to peg him

grip his hands and place them above his head, and shove his head into the mattress

anything

his fav position is with his ass up in the air with his head shoved in a pillow and his cock hanging pitifully untouched. shove your strap into his ass while he begs you to make him cum

grab his face and kiss him while he wails out from the pleasure

shove your tongue down his throat,,, something!!

IN THE ODD OCCASION HE IS FEELING DOMINANT!!

rare

but it happens

he isn't some hard dom who leaves you bruised up

he will take care of you just like he does when he's subbing, but he won't let you order him around

grabs your neck and just holds. not enough to prevent you breathing, but enough for you to know its there

still sloppy either way

with him, aftercare is a must

thing is: you can't leave him alone after he's finished subbing, as it sparks some trigger that brings him back to the bathroom, where, in his mind, lawrence left him to die

you have to take him with you

you found out after he cries out and practically tackles you begging you to not leave and to stay with him and to not abandon him

its alot of rambling, but once you get him to calm down, he is pretty embarrassed, but you understand

you tell him to get up and hold his hand, or hug, while walking to the bathroom

wiping a rag on his oversensitive cock to clean it and seeing his face scrunch up is ur fav thing

you might make him eat his cum out of you to clean you up, but it just depends on how he feels. and it might start up a whole nother round so its a gamble

he probably doesn't fall asleep immediately afterward, and will stay there stroking your hair while you sleep to remind himself you're there, you aren't leaving and you love him

LOTS OF LOVE YOU'S DURING AND AFTER!!

something about you telling him you love him does something: it might be from him feeling useless and like a burden

when he finally sleeps, he's the little spoon and he whispers a quick,"thank you"before nodding off

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!! I LOVE ADAM AND SAW AND AND pLS REQUEST SOMETHING!!

[shittysawtraps]

Exactly the same setup as Saw (2004) but the bathroom they wake up in has a dingy gray carpet all over the floor and the toilet seat has one of those crappy foam covers on it

[agentperezbian]

Saw 2004 where everything is the same but it's a soulmate AU. Lawrence and Adam realize they're soulmates the minute they lay eyes on each other and spend the whole movie trying to touch each other. And once they do it's like everything is right and everything makes sense but Lawrence still leaves and he never comes back. Adam dies in that bathroom and Lawrence can feel exactly when it happens and he spends the rest of his life feeling like more than just his leg is missing. A piece of his puzzle gone forever

[bygiornogiovanna]

Paralyzed (Josuke x GN! Reader)

heavily inspired by the Big Time Rush song "Paralyzed".

highschool reunion

It's been years since you graduated highschool. Five, to be exact. You were currently getting ready to go to the five year reunion.

It's been such a long time since you stepped out of the school's gates and you really missed that place. You missed your old friends.

You went no contact with most of your colleagues. The only one that stuck around was Koichi, but you were barely talking even with him.

The moment you put your shoes on, your phone started ringing. "Are you here?" you asked after you picked it up.

"Yes, me and Yukako are outside! Now, come on, we're gonna be late!" he answered and you hang up, gathering your things.

You were honestly nervous to meet up with your old classmates, but the one you were most excited to see again was Josuke. Even if he and Koichi were best friends, you refused to meet up with him, since you were afraid to see him.

You two weren't exactly close in highschool because then you weren't as talktive as you were now. Sighing, you checked yourself again and smiled.

You got out of the house, locking it and a honk could be heared. Yukako and Koichi were in their car. They hadn't aged a bit. And she was still taller than him.

You flashed a smile and picked up your pace to their car. "Thanks for picking me up!" you said entering the car.

"No problem. It's been so long since we've seen each other!" Yukako said from the driver's seat and you agreed with her. "You didn't change at all since I last saw you three years ago. How have you been?"

"Pretty good. College has been hard but I managed to graduate it." you answered simply.

You three talked on the way to the restaurant all of your colleagues agreed to meet at. The ride wasn't long, but you felt suffocated the entire time.

You three stepped out of the car and, within a few minutes, inside of the restaurant and you looked around for your ex-classmates.

The second you got inside, Okuyasu noticed you. He shook Josuke a little, diverting his attention from the small talk he made with Hara to you.

And nothing could describe the way he felt.

It felt like time stopped.

"Look! Koichi, Yukako and Y/N came!" The other boy said, but Josuke couldn't muster a word. His eyes were fixed on you, his mouth almost falling open.

You were even prettier than you were back in 2004, when you graduated. His heart sped up and he couldn't take his eyes off you.

Truth be told, he never got over his little crush he had on you. Sure, he did have significant others in the time that passed, but none compared to you.

You were one of a kind and he couldn't forget you at all.

"Hello." you spoke when you arrived at the table and everyone turned to you. Some of them got up and hugged you, talking to you, telling you how much they missed you, some were surprised you came and some ignored you.

You smiled at all and took one of the only seats avaliable, the one in front of Josuke and Okuyasu. The latter greeted you, making a small talk, asking how you were and how was your life while the first just sat and stared at you. Even if he wanted, he couldn't find the words. It's like his brain emptied.

"Come on, Josuke, say something!" Okuaysu pushed his shoulder and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when your eyes met his. His palms were sweating and his heart rate sped up even more.

"I..."

"Is everything alright, Josuke? You seem unwell." you said and he swallowed his own saliva. His name rolled off so prettily of your tounge and your voice remained the same as he remembered.

"I....I'm a-alright. I'll go to the bathroom." he said in a hurry and almost instantly got up, dragging Okuyasu after him.

"What was that?! Come on, Josuke, you've been waiting for this moment for years! It's time you make a move or else you will lose them! You heart them, they are single! It's your chance!" Okuyasu said, watching his bestfriend pacing around the bathroom.

"I...I can't speak! I can't do anything around them! It's like i'm paralyzed, bro!" he said and the other man laughed.

"You are redder than a tomato, come on now, Josuke. You've always been someone that can talk with the one he likes."

"It's not the same with them. I can't even breathe properly! I've always been like that around them!" Josuke sighed and his mate laughed.

"Come on, charmer, you can do it!"

part two? :)

[gambitsheart]

an unnamed lawrence gordon analysis piece

summary: just a gutwrenching character analysis of lawrence gordon and his grief and guilt over the events of saw 2004. proceed with caution /lh

word count: 1.5k

content: no major warnings!! second person perspective from lawrence's perspective. enjoy!

-

you told yourself this was the end of this, that you were done with all this nonsense. that last time was the last time you would step out onto the balcony and into the unforgiving cold at half past midnight,

cigarette in hand, lamenting.

although, you didn’t have much of a reason to be mourning the man that you yourself had left to die,

no, you didn’t have a very good reason at all.

and it had been nearly a decade by now anyway.

at least, what you thought might’ve been a decade. you’d spent so much of your time throughout the years in this same routine that you weren’t really sure exactly how long it had been.

not that it mattered much anyway,

because the last time was never the last time,

no matter how many times you said it would be.

you are no stranger to grief or death,

and you are no stranger to this pattern

this brutal, unforgiving pattern of..

well, you weren’t really sure what to call it

all you knew, really, was the bitter taste of a cigarette you’d long since quit when you first met adam stanheight,

and the even more bitter taste of what could have been.

you weren’t entirely sure what it was about him that was so special to you.

you’d met in an old dingy bathroom in the middle of an abandoned warehouse,

shackled to old pipes, meant to kill each other,

so, what could there possibly have been about this manic, anger riddled, bitter boy you’d met in the worst of circumstances, that you just couldn’t let go of?

you find yourself asking yourself this question more often than not,

when you’re staring mindlessly out into the abyss from your balcony,

fiddling with a cigarette you’d been holding for god knows how long, but never smoked.

what was it, what was it really, about this boy you knew for a few hours,

that you just couldn’t let go of?

maybe, it was his attitude.

in your line of work, you seldom had the chance to meet someone with such a devil may care, reckless abandon attitude,

and usually it would have put you off,

but not with adam.

maybe, it was his body.

although you’d never been one for looks, you couldn’t deny that adam stanheight had been the most beautiful boy you’d ever laid eyes on.

maybe, it was his voice.

to many others, you were sure it might come off as annoying, what with his voice being what you would have otherwise described as pitchy had it not been that it was adam. yes, you were sure many people would write him off as annoying.

but not you.

no, not at all.

you’d heard many voices in and out on a daily basis for years,

some of them shrill and overbearing,

some of them monotone and boring,

some of them smooth and charming,

some of them deep and confident,

but none of them quite as sweet as adam stanheight’s.

maybe, it was his compassion.

sure, he came off as aggressive and uncaring at times,

maybe he even came off as cold and pompous a few times,

and maybe he wanted you to think he didn’t care,

maybe he had planned on killing you in that room,

but he didn’t.

no, in fact, adam stanheight hadn’t wanted to kill you at all,

even from the beginning, he was so clearly fighting a battle you knew was impossible for him to win.

you knew the circumstances, you knew his fate even before your tape had finished playing.

but still, he tried.

he comforted you the best he knew how in a situation that seemed hopeless.

maybe, just maybe,

it was none of these things.

no, not quite.

maybe, just maybe,

none of this had mattered at all,

not in that moment,

not until after you had left that bathroom and he was long gone.

maybe, just maybe,

it was the way he had felt in your hands.

it was a brief moment,

a fleeting moment,

yet, one that would never flee your mind,

no matter how many times you tried,

and trust me,

you’ve tried.

tried to forget the stinging feeling of his nails digging into your skin, begging to hold on, just for a little while longer.

tried to forget the mindless motion of your thumb brushing over what would have otherwise been his perfectly soft skin had it not been for those circumstances.

tried to forget the lack of distance between the both of you.

tried to forget the feeling of his laboured breath against your cheek.

tried to forget the burning hot tears rolling down his cheeks and onto your own hand.

tried to forget just how perfect he had felt, even in the most dire situation.

tried to forget, that no matter how much you wished him back,

no matter how much you hated yourself for leaving him in that god awful bathroom,

no matter how many nights you spent sobbing your life away, cigarette in hand,

begging him to come back,

that adam stanheight was not coming back.

you would never feel the perfect warmth of his skin on yours again,

you would never see those perfectly desperate eyes staring deep into yours again,

you would never know what it was like to truly touch adam stanheight,

to love him,

to give him the life he deserved,

to tell him that he was enough.

you would never know who adam stanheight was, not really.

hell, you only knew his last name from your mentor’s notes.

you didn’t even know how old he was when he died.

you didn’t know his favourite colour,

or his favourite bands,

or how he liked his coffee in the morning,

or if he even liked coffee.

you didn’t know if he preferred cats or dogs,

or if he was allergic,

you didn’t know his favourite food,

or what position he slept in at night.

you didn’t know what exactly it was he did for work,

or what his dream job had been.

you didn’t know his parents names,

or if he had siblings,

if they fought like typical siblings.

you didn’t know if he’d ever planned on having kids,

or what his plans were for the future,

if he might have any friends,

or a pet,

or a hobby he really enjoyed.

the more you thought of it,

you didn’t know jackshit about adam stanheight, not really.

but what you did know, you’d fallen so deeply in love with.

you knew his name was adam.

you knew he was around 5 feet 8 inches in height.

you knew he had striking green eyes and tousled brown hair.

you knew he fidgeted when he was nervous, specifically his fingers.

you knew he wanted to fix his relationship with his parents.

you knew he had a recent ex girlfriend, that she'd broken up with him.

you knew he watched a lot of movies, mostly sci-fi or action based on his reaction to waking up with no idea where he was.

you knew he was a photographer.

you knew he didn’t make great money.

you know that he did what he did just to live.

you know that he deserved to live.

you know that those were the screams of a man that wanted to live.

you know that he won.

you know that he was too young to die.

you know that it should have been you left in that room.

you know that you broke your promise.

you know that you were one of the last people to see him alive.

you know that he fell off the face of the earth without a trace.

you know that adam stanheight tried his best.

yes, that’s exactly what he did.

adam stanheight did his best,

and still, he died alone in that room, exactly where you’d left him.

even after all these years, you’re sure that not only did adam stanheight die of starvation and dehydration, he died of these things wondering why.

why had you left him there?

why had you promised him you’d come back if you weren’t going to keep it?

why had you given him a space in which he felt okay to be himself, for once in his absolutely pathetic life, only to rip it away, just like that?

to be entirely honest, you didn’t even have the answer to these questions, no matter how many nights they kept you awake, carving themselves into the back of your brain.

you weren’t entirely sure you wanted the answers anyway.

you’d given enough time to these thoughts,

lord knows you have.

one in particular, though, keeps the gears in that wretched brain of yours turning, even more so than they already do.

the sickening thought that you, dr. lawrence gordon, are the reason adam stanheight is dead.

you are the reason that he never got to live his life,

that you were both deprived of a safe place within each other,

that it is nobody’s fault but your own, and you have absolutely nobody else to blame but yourself.

[briarpotter]

@hinnymicrofic

Prompt: "Did you use the last bit of my shampoo?" "Technically, we both used it all–y'know, when we showered together–" (a pillow is thrown).

2004

“Harry!” She burst into the bedroom. “Did you use the last bit of my shampoo?" Harry had been folding the laundry, and he turned to face Ginny, bewildered. He smirked at seeing her naked, “Technically, we both used it all–y'know, yesterday, when we showered together–" A pillow thrown to his face cut him off, courtesy of Ginny.

“Harry!” She whined. “I don’t have any more shampoo, and I wanted my hair to smell nice when we announce our pregnancy!” Harry taking pity on her, walked into the bathroom and handed her his shampoo. “Here, you can use mine.” Sighing, she pecked her husband’s lips and walked back into the shower. Grinning, Harry went off to finish his chores.

A few hours later, they were all ready to leave. Harry had decided that they would floo instead of apparating. “You ready?” He asked, tersely. “Let’s go!” Nodding, he gently guided her towards the fireplace. He and Ginny stepped into it carefully, and with a handful of floo powder, he called, “The Burrow!” Arriving, they brushed the soot of their clothes and greeted everyone. Molly bustled into the room, announcing that dinner was ready. “Oh Harry, Ginny dear! You made it!”

“Yeah.” “Come on, Harry! Before my brothers eat everything!” Harry followed his wife into the expanded kitchen and saw the entire Weasley clan assembled there. They all sat down for dinner while the kids were playing in the courtyard. Ginny had been holding his hand the entire time, and now it was nearing the end of dinner.

She stood up, tugging Harry up with her. “We have something to say.” She announced. “You’re pregnant!” They heard 3 squeals from around the table. The squeals had come from Molly, Fleur and Hermione. “How’d you know?” He asked them curiously. “Are you really asking Hermione that, Harry? Surely you better than that?” Ron said. Harry chuckled. “True.” “It’s a mother’s instinct.” Molly said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Fleur nodding.

“Ooh! There’s so much to do! You have to prepare the nursery, and buy baby clothes, Oh!” Molly jumped up while saying this, clearly showing her excitement. Arthur chuckled and got his wife to calm down. “I’m sure Harry and Ginny can handle it by themselves.” He soothed.

They nodded, and sat down. The table returned to the noisy chatter Harry loved to hear in the Burrow. He felt grateful for the familiarity as the excitement finally caught up to him. In his nervousness, he had failed to notice exactly how sexy Ginny looked in her dress, and now he suddenly had an appetite for something else.

[purecommemasolitude]

saw (2004) au where everything is exactly the same but michael in the bathroom is playing ever-so-faintly in the background of every bathroom scene

[mieux-de-se-taire]

Skylines and Turnstiles - MCR Interviews

Snagglezine Interview - 4/9/02

Gerard: We saw the plane hit right from the train and when we got there we were all just standing on the pier in Hoboken like right on the edge. There’s like 300 people that were friend and family and we all saw it go down. That’s when I realized that doing this cartoon was bullshit, I love to draw and make art but it was so commercial, it was just that I felt like having meetings with people in suits, it just made me realize what the hell I’m doing with my life. That’s what our 1st song that we always open with “Skylines and Turnstiles” is about. It’s about the Trade Center.

/

Dot Alt Interview - 8/30/02

Paragraph 3

Interviewer: So how did it all begin with MCR? Gerard: Matt and I got together around October/November and I had this song, Skylines and Turnstiles, that we worked out together. We liked where it was going so we asked the best guitarist we knew to play, Ray Toro.

/

Recroom Magazine Interview - 8/12/03

Jessica (Interviewer): What was the first song you wrote as a band? Gerard: "Skylines and Turnstiles.”

/

Alternative Press #197 - 9/17-20/04

Page 5, paragraph 9

“I ran into Matt [Pelissier] at a bar and said, ‘You know what? I’ve been writing songs. You’re not doing anything, and I’m not doing anything, so let’s get together and give it a shot.’” With a no-pressure commitment, Gerard played Pelissier a rough version of “Skylines And Turnstiles,” and he liked what he heard.

Page 6, paragraph 1

The trio recorded a demo in Pelissier’s attic. “My attic had no walls,” he says, laughing. “It was a wooden, run-down piece of crap. I had a really cheap 16-track board, and we had a bunch of crappy mics. I basically had the drums and guitars playing upstairs and ran mics down the stairs and had Gerard sing in the bathroom.” What came out of those sessions were the blueprints for “Our Lady of Sorrows” (original title: “Bring More Knives”), “Cubicles” and “Turnstiles.” “You could hear that it was something really new, and it was kind of a weird idea, but for some reason, as poorly as it was coming together, it really worked,” remembers Gerard. “And a lot of people loved the demo.”

/

Blender Magazine Interview - April 2005

Page 3, paragraph 20 to page 4, paragraph 1

After September 11, Gerard wrote his first song, “Skylines and Turnstiles,” and played it to an old friend, drummer Matt Pelissier. Pelissier knew a guitarist called Ray Toro. “They played me their one song and I was jumping around the attic and headbanging,” says Toro.

/

VMA Virgins Interview - 8/28/05

0:12-0:36

Gerard: The first song was “Skylines and Turnstiles.” I believe I had this blue guitar that I bought because Billie Joe [Armstrong] had like a greenish blue guitar, and I had it from when I was 15 or 16, so I used that guitar to write it in my mom’s basement, and I mean that was it. It was a very direct song about what happened during 9/11 and how I felt about it, and it was what started the band.  

/

Life On the Murder Scene - 2004/2005

19:32-19:47

Gerard: (As “Skylines and Turnstiles” plays in the background) You know I had that song, about September 11th, kind of my way of getting over it. Gerard: (Cuts to another interview) This was kind of like therapy for us when it started, and it still is. Gerard: (Cuts back to the first interview) And I said, “Just, you know, just listen to it,” and so I played it for [Matt Pelissier] and sang it, we played it together, and we just loved the way it sounded. 

/

Kerrang #1142 - 1/17/07

Page 9, paragraph 12

Gerard: From then on, I was in my parent’s basement with a small practice amp and a very old Fender guitar. That’s when I wrote ‘Skylines And Turnstiles’ [as a reaction to what he saw on 9/11] and some of the earlier material. I wrote those songs sitting in my pyjamas with notebooks all around me. It was me going, ‘All this stuff has been inside me for years and I want to get it out.’ I wasn’t depressed at that time exactly but I was certainly a hermit.”

/

Barcelona Live Stream - 3/5/11

7:43-8:04

*Audio Warning for loud booming in the background*

Gerard: (Reading off chat) “Skylines and Turnstiles,” maybe making a comeback Frank: Ah Gerard: We talked about that a lot. Frank: Yeah Gerard: (Pointing at Frank) You always really want it. I think we should try it really soon. Frank: I’d like to rework that song Gerard: Yeah Frank: I think it’d be really good one. But hey, that’d be kinda cool for our 10 year, to do the song that started it all Gerard: Yeah, I would love that. (Everyone starts talking at once for a moment) Maybe for our anniversary we’ll bust that out.

/

Kevin Smith SModcast Interview - 12/5/12

1:32:52-1:33:11

Kevin Smith (Interviewer): Is that the day? Or night? Or, when do you write what is considered to be the first song? Gerard: Oh right, I guess it’s like a week later. Kevin Smith: After that, and it was all predicated on September 11th? Gerard: Mm hmm, with that same Stratocaster, with the same little crappy amp that I had from when I was a kid. I just pulled it out and said, “Alright, I’m gonna do something else.” Kevin Smith: (Overlapping) Where are you? Are you home? Gerard: I’m living at my parent’s house, yeah

/

Where Are Your Boys Tonight? (Chris Payne) - 2020-2022

Chapter 8, page 107

Mikey: The demos got made shortly after 9/11. I was like, “I need to be in this band,” and they were like, “We need a bass player.” The first song I heard was “Skylines and Turnstiles.” It’s a heavy song, you know? I was like, “I want to be a part of this.”

/

Two Minutes To Late Night Interview - 8/15/22

23:13-23:40

Frank: When they started, the first song I think was like “Skylines and Turnstiles,” and it was just like, something happened. Gwarsenio Hall (Interviewer): Right Frank: These guys that I knew, that, you know, were the geekiest, nerdiest, like nicest, kindest, most interesting kids that you wouldn’t even stop and look twice at, like, turned into these-- they were rockstars. It was like-- it was undeniable, and it was unfathomable, like, it was crazy.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Next segment…

MIAYA: Seems this was an accident, the boy realize their was maggot until you finish it all?

Ye-Yes, the thing was I was re-really hungry at the time and mo-mommy didn't give me any le-leftovers so I was re-really hungry.

Bu-But at least I was able to get more food, thank god.

MIAYA: And I suppose that be when you started to not care what attention you get as long as you got attention?

We-Well, not exactly - it started in middle school and there was a girl that was in my class that made it a living nightmare...

MIAYA: I see, then talk about her...

——————————————————————–

MIKAN’S EVENTS OF TRAUMA:

Home:

Splashed with water: Date - March 20th, 2000 Description - After trying to find clothes, a women walk by noticing me and ask what I was doing; after explaining the situation - she walk me over to her home and gave me her son’s clothes to use which were bigger then me. When I got home, mom was with a costumer but when she saw me - she drag me back into my room and told me to stay, after I ask to wash myself off, she dumped cold water on me and told me to stay; she even say to use the bucket for the bathroom which after that I try to warm myself up.

Smeared with mud: Date - March 20th, 2000 Description - I ask my mom who is a prostitute to get some clothes but she refuse to pay, she drag me outside while it was raining and threw me out which lead to me getting mud on myself. She told me to go dumpster diving or steal it then close the door.

Getting burned with cigarettes: Date - April 30th, 2003 Description - I was in the infirmary and learn how to deal with burnt marks from the nurse who was treating a boy, after I got home mom was dealing with a drunk costumer who smoked. As I was leaving the room, the man confused my arm for an ash tray and I scream as I rush to take care of my arm, seems the man felt bad for it but my focus was on the arm and my mom blame me for it.

Stripped: Date - May 12th, 2007 Description - When I turn 13 years old, I got home from school and my mom wanted to me to help with 2 costumers looking for a 4 way, I didn’t have any experience with sex and was scared but went along with it as soon as my mom force me into it; we were about to start but then the couple realize that I was a minor and refuse to have sex. Mom blame me for ruining it, but I knew that I wanted to leave.

Elementary School:

Cut my hair: Date - April 25th, 2000 Description - I was late for class and a girl named Ami was advise by the teacher to throw the gum away, which then she stuck gum in my hair - after the teacher found out; she took Ami out and as student mutter to themselves, a girl who wanted to get talent in being a hairstylist decided to cut my hair and it ended up cut really bad despite me wanting to wait for the teacher.

Draw on me: Date - July 4th, 2004 Description - I fell asleep and suddenly woke up seeing the teacher yelling at a boy and girl, it looks like a boy told on them which then they reveal that I had mark on me which freak me out. The teacher help me clean it up but the

Eat bugs: Date - February 12th, 2007 Description - At lunchtime, I was getting food that the school provided and got a tray but due to mom not feeding leftovers I was really hungry and ate the whole bowl, however the same boy discover that there were maggots in the soup - he promise to get me a new bowl after I told him what happen.

Imitate animal noises: Date - February 12th, 2007 Description - When that happen, some other kids came over and say that since I ate the maggots; they ask me to make animal noises, it went from a chicken, a cow to a pig - I started to wonder if this type of attention was good or not since they seem to be having fun.

Middle School:

Dart games: Date - Description -

Debts: Date - Description -

Beaten up: Date - Description -

——————————————————————–

MIAYA: Okay, now we are down to 3 which is Middle school, you say that this is when you started to wonder if the attention-seeking behavior came from this?

Ye-Yes, I did and it was due to 1 girl in my class along with her group of friends, her na-name was Himena Akashiba, her family was very wealthy and her father was the CEO of this company known as 'Sea King Industries' which is electronics.

I-I try and be nice to her but sh-she always was so m-mean to me but became my fr-friend, it all started on the first day of Middle School...

...

...

...

Date: April 1st, 2007

*goes to her class and finds her seat* I think this might be my seat...

Man, being at a new school and ev-everything is a lot of fun; ma-maybe the people here can be ni-nicer...?

???: Hey you, girl by the window, that's my seat!

Hu-Huh...? O-Oh uh, so-sorry but I was told we can sit an-anywhe-.

*Standing in front of her was a girl with blonde hair but brown tips*

And does it look like a give a crap, how about you move and sit elsewhere, I want this spot so move.

Eeeek, fi-fi-fine I'll move I'll move then! *Mikan quickly gets up as the girl sits down her spot*

Heh, thanks for doing that; I owe ya - say want to get a selfie then? I think I got myself a new buddy!

A se-selfie...?

Yeah, you just take a photo of yourself with your phone and snap, a selfie!

*stands up and holds Mikan by the shoulder* Now try and smile to look good, say cheeese!

... (She wants to take a photo? I-I don't get it but she se-seems nice...)

Cheeeese!

*SNAP!*

Heh, thanks for taking the photo. *is on her phone as she starts typing on it*

*she looks over her shoulder as seeing the text*

*typing* 'First day of school and I found this mop-head girl who's uniform doesn't fit right. She try to take my seat and I was able to correct her and she move like I ask, tell me who's prettier?' Annnnd posted!

Wh-Why did you write that...?

Well I figure I update my followers to see what I'm up to and I figure I take a photo, look - it's starting to get likes and comments, isn't that good?

*Looks at the likes on the post* Ye-Yeah, there seems to be a bunch of people liking it and com-commenting...

Yep pretty much, honestly I enjoy posted and I think we should hang out more, what's your name?

Mi-Mikan Tsumiki...? I-I don't think I had a friend before...

Oh okay, cool then I guess I'm your first - well my name is Himena Akashiba; my daddy owns a well known electronic business called 'Sea King Industries' which a lot of electronic nerds totally flock to and is super hard to employ so let's be friends, kay?

'She was probably the only person that wanted to be my friend but sh-she...she only started to do a lot of ho-horrible things to me...'

[chainsawing]

imagine being trapped in a room with someone and their only job is to kill you and you have no way of escaping the room in any scenario and you spend all 6 precious hours trying to find a way where you BOTH survive but its pointless and you mightve fallen a little in love with him and even in his frenzy to survive he cant even properly put you out of your misery because he cares too much and the first and last time you touch him hes holding you and youre both covered in so much blood and he promises hes coming back but you KNOW he never ever is

[asskickedbygirl]

Cam Girl [Bam Margera x F!Reader]

Desc: You’re a a photographer at a CKY show and catch the eye of a certain Margera. Then he fucks you in the bathroom

A/n: I’m like 90% sure this is exactly how bam and nicole met lmfao. set in like 2004 when radio bam and vlb were fresh (:

Warnings: alcohol, smut 18+, bathroom sex, p in v, vaginal fingering

2k words

⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑ ⭑

You flicked through the settings on your camera anxiously awaiting CKY’s set. You had been a fan for a while and getting the opportunity to shoot them was a dream come true, free show aside. Unbeknownst to you, the drummer’s younger brother and MTV star was eyeing you up from the sides of the stage. “Who’s that photographer chick? She’s fucking hot.” Jess rolled his eyes, “Let the girl do her job and then you can flirt with her all you want Bam.” “Or fuck her.” Novak interjected, “Or I will.” Bam punched his life partner in the arm and continued ogling you from the side lines.

The show was fucking awesome and you got some pretty great shots you knew the band would be impressed with. Time to get these sent off to your magazine. You went to leave the venue but felt a tap on your shoulder. “Sorry Ma’am, Jess Margera was wondering if you wanted to come backstage?” It was a security guard. You became flustered, not expecting this proposition, you hadn’t even spoken to any of the band members before, what did he want with you? “Oh umm, well I have to send th-“ The blank expression on the guards face told you he did not care at all for what you had to do so you thought ‘fuck it, they can get these shots later.’ You shrugged your shoulders, “Why not?” The guard nodded and escorted you to the backstage area.

Your heart was beating rapidly as you walked, nervous for whatever awkward encounter you were probably going to have with one of your favourite bands. Eventually the security guard led you to a dressing room and opened the door, letting you in. In the room was the whole band, standing around or sitting on couches, drinking beers and smoking cigarettes. Along with them was Bam Margera the MTV star and his buddies Brandon Novak, Chris Raab, Ryan Dunn and Brandon DiCamillo and a couple other guys you didn’t recognise. You gulped when you saw this room full of famous jackasses that suddenly seemed incredibly intimidating and you wondered why you even agreed to come. You weren’t expecting to see all the guys you and your friends would gush over every Sunday. “Hey look! The cam girl has arrived!” Novak spoke first, leading the whole room to look towards the door where you waved awkwardly. “Don’t call her a cam girl dickhead.” Bam punched his friend in the arm once again and hopped up from his seat to greet you. “Sorry about him, he’s a dream seller.” Novak made a kissy face at you as you laughed awkwardly. “I’m not entirely sure what that means but okay!” Bam stuck his hand out for you to shake. “I’m Bam, Jess’ brother.” You nodded as you gripped his sweaty hand. “I know who you are.” Bam raised his brows with a grin, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” You shrugged, “Not sure yet.”

You were interrupted as Jess came over with a beer bottle in hand, passing it over to you as you gratefully accepted it. “Great show!” You said and he thanked you, “Get any good shots?” You nodded and reached for your camera, willing to show them the cool stuff you captured. You flicked through the pictures as Bam and Jess said things like ‘that’s fucking awesome’ ‘sick’ ‘so cool’ You thanked them for their praise and began drinking your beer quickly in an attempt to catch up with how drunk everyone else seemed to be. “So what made you want to become a photographer?” Bam asked, taking in your whole body like you wouldn’t notice. You blushed but answered him nonetheless, “I don’t know, guess I’ve always had an interest in it, why’d you decide to become a professional idiot?” Jess laughed and shook his head, leaving the two of you to flirt shamelessly. “Guess I’ve always had an interest in it too. Come over here, meet my friends.” Bam slid an arm over your shoulder naturally and led you to the couches where his Viva La Bam crew were hanging out. He told you the names of all the guys as if you didn’t already know and introduced you to some new faces like Joe Frantz and Mark Hanna. You politely smiled at each of them and slid in next to Bam as he made room for the two of you on the couch Novak lay shirtless on. “Hey babe, you know if you wanna sleep with Bam you gotta get through me first.” This earned Novak yet another punch in the arm. “Damn he likes this one.” Novak laughed, nursing his arm with his hand. “Don’t listen to him, he’s jail bait.” You nodded and laughed awkwardly.

“Get any good shots?” Ryan asked you and you sighed, nodding while going through the motions of showing all the guys the photos you had just shown Bam and Jess. Eventually the conversation moved away from the casual small talk that comes with being a photographer and soon enough Bam seemed to be putting his moves on you. He was so close to you at this stage, talking about absolutely nothing important into your ear as you were forced to move your leg on top of his to combat how squished you were, not that you were complaining. You had downed several beers at this stage so the alcohol was beginning to take over as it clouded your judgement. If you thought an hour ago you may not sleep with Bam Margera, you sure as hell were going to now.

Bam was playing with your hair and necklaces as you babbled on about whatever Bam had asked you. “So you ever fucked a guy in a band before?” The question was pretty unexpected and it was apparent he was now trying to cross over into unspoken territory in order to get into your pants. “Are you in a band?” You asked, pushing his hair back seductively. “Woah, that is not what I was asking you.” Bam joked, throwing the hand that wasn’t on your waist up in mock surrender. You rolled your eyes and shoved his chest. “Yeah maybe I have fucked a guy in a band before. Why?” Bam bit his lip and smiled, “Was it like in a bathroom? Would you let someone fuck you in a filthy bathroom?” You narrowed your eyes and leaned in to Bam’s ear, “Are you asking to fuck me in the bathroom right now?” Bam moved his hand so it was rubbing against your thigh. He laughed cockily, “Maybe.” You grinned cheekily, “Then ask.” Bam looked confused, until he realised. He breathed out awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. “Uuuhhh hahaha.” You shoved his chest again, “Come on, If you really want to, just ask.” You looked at Bam through heavy lids, telling him all he needed to know. Bam sighed out and shifted awkwardly before leaning into your ear and asking, not so quietly, “Can I fuck you in the bathroom?” You laughed and touched his shoulder, “Okay.” Bam smiled madly and licked his lips, practically jumping up off the couch to lead you away. “She’s fast!” Novak commented, having heard parts of your conversation. Bam rolled his eyes and flipped off his friend before leaving the dressing room to find the nearest bathroom.

You bit your lip nervously as Bam pushed the two of you inside the men’s room and locked the door behind you. He immediately got to work smashing his lips against yours and making out roughly. He grabbed your hips roughly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your movements and clutches horny and desperate. Bam shoved his thigh in between your legs as he pushed your back against the door causing you to moan at the sudden friction. Bam smiled as he continued kissing you, moving his hand to your waist to guide you on grinding on his thigh. You figured you had enough after a little while and so reached down to unbuckle his belt. Bam helped you unzip his pants as he shimmied them down to his ankles, leaving him in his boxers as you grabbed at his covered length. He was already growing hard and your touch caused him to moan out. You were eternally grateful for choosing to wear a skirt in that moment, easy access never meant so much. Bam slipped his hands up to your ass as he hooked his fingers around the band of your panties, pulling them down and letting them drop to your ankles. Immediately he pressed his fingers against you, whimpering slightly as he felt how wet you were. You moaned as he swiped up and down your folds and again even louder as he slipped two fingers inside of you. Your make out was barely making out at this stage, just wet sloppy kisses mixed with moans and whimpers.

“Just fuck me already Bam.” You whined at last, growing impatient as he lazily fingered you. Bam pulled his fingers out of you and laughed, “You’re making me feel like Novak here.” He grabbed your waist and spinned you around so he was behind you as he bent you over the sink. You supported yourself on the counter and moaned at this sudden change. “Havent even seen my tits yet.” You laughed breathily and Bam nodded, “Good point.” He pulled you up and tore your tank top off of you, revealing your tits. He grabbed at them and caused you to moan as he played with your nipples between his fingers. “Yeah that’s better.” Bam bent you back over, pressing your tits against the cold surface of the sink as he took his dick out of his boxers and lifted your skirt up to show your ass. He groaned as he gripped your hips and slowly sunk himself into you, not giving much time to tease you with his tip. You moaned at the sensation and winced as he stretched you open. He began moving slowly, before picking up the pace for a good fuck. As the two of your moaned in unison, Bam gathered up your hair with his right hand and lifted you up to look at yourself in the mirror as he railed you. “Yeah fuck, you like getting fucked in the filthy fucking bathroom?” Bam groaned out, panting as he continued pummelling into you. You moaned and nodded, “Uh huh.” Bam pulled your head back further, “Yeah good fucking girl.” This position proved awkward but Bam changed that once he wrapped his other arm around to rub your clit as he continued to fuck you. You moaned and whined helplessly, not really caring that anyone from the dressing room could hear you right now if they were to walk down the hall.

“Fuck I’m close Bam.” You bit your lip to try suppress your moans but Bam only encouraged it as he sped up. “Yeah come on, cum on my cock” Bam’s demands were becoming ragged with his thrusts starting to be uneven and sloppy. Eventually you teetered off the edge Bam had brought you to and you finished with white hot pleasure coursing through your body, a loud moan erupting from your lips. The feeling of your heat tightening around Bam’s cock was enough to bring him to edge. He pulled out of you and jerked off quickly, finishing on your ass without a second to spare. You stayed bent over the sink for a moment after Bam let go of your hair, catching your breath as Bam tucked his dick back into his boxers and pulled his pants back up. Before you could fix yourself up, Bam had pulled your skirt back over your cum stained ass and was pulling your panties up over your soaking heat. You narrowed your brows at him, “Seriously?” He laughed as you fixed your top and tried to make your hair look presentable. “That was fucking hot, come on we’re probably going to a club now.” You looked confused again, “You’re bringing me?” Bam shrugged, “I may have fucked like Novak there, but I’m not Novak. I wanna party with you.” You laughed at the absurdity of the situation but shrugged, “Alright MTV star.” He shook his head at your sarcastic response. “Cam girl.” He muttered.

End.

forgot: @bambammargera @spoookyberry @jackussy420 @gnarkillknoxville @lovexjoe @ckygetsjobs

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | chapter 11-15

summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

A/N: Set between seasons 4 and 6, not following canon. all original crimes based on real-life stories.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

Word Count: 10k

chapter 11

“I got him!” Penelope came running into the bullpen. “The VICAP counsellor! He did it again!”

She ran up the stairs with her computer in her hands, straight into the briefing room. Everyone followed her.

“Last night in Kansas, a woman reported that the school guidance counsellor might be toughing her daughter. I called the local PD and explained the situation. They gave me his school photo and, boom, Peter Van Swank.”

“So he hasn’t raped anyone that we know of?” JJ asked.

“No, so I asked them not to let this get out. That he can’t know they’re on to him,” Garcia was frantic. “I’ve sent you all the information, and the plane is prepped and ready when you are.”

“Thank you, baby girl,” Derek kissed her head as the team scrambled out of the room.

On the plane, Garcia was FaceTimed in and waiting to give a run down. “He’s currently identifying as Jacob Hultman, 56. The school counsellor and substitute gym teacher. All ‘round icky man who I would very much like to do this to:” she ranted before smacking her fist against her other palm.

“Okay, calm down there, hot stuff,” Morgan laughed at her. “What’s he doing today?”

“The police have asked the Principal to call him to the office when we land, where an officer is going to cuff him and bring to the station for us,” Garcia explained. “They’re prepping search warrants for his property and his computers; they’re just waiting for a team to assist at the scene.”

“Prentiss, Y/N, and Reid, I want you to go to his house and search it all, top to bottom, take the walls down if you need to. We need to know what else he’s hiding. This man is capable of a lot.” Hotch instructed. “Garcia, can you ask them to wait till Morgan and I are outside the school. We should expect him to try to run.”

“on it,” Garcia said before disappearing off the screen.

“Let’s get this fucker,” Prentiss said, fist-bumping Morgan from across the table.

—

At Van Swank’s house, they split into teams to search the place. CSI was digging in the yard; they were lifting loose floorboards and fake bricks in the fireplace. Looking behind mirrors in the bathrooms, and then Y/N saw it.

“Spence, Emily?” She called out.

Spencer and Emily ran down the stairs. Towards the room, Y/N was in, where she had moved the couch and rug and found a hole in the floor. “Who’s going down there?”

“Not it,” Prentiss said.

“I can hold the flashlight?” Spencer offered.

Y/N huffed and moved the wood from the hole, finding stairs and a railing underneath. Spencer held a light over the hole while Y/N took her gun from her holster, taking it off the safety before heading down the steps.

The flashlight at the end of her gun was on. She kept her back to the wall as she looked around the room. “Hello? Is anyone in here?”

She could hear whimpering, “my name is Y/N, I’m with the FBI. If you’re trapped down here, I can help you.” She offered into the darkness.

“I’m here,” a small voice said. Y/N almost got whiplash turning towards the voice.

A girl no more than 16, was naked and alone, chained to some pipes in the corner of the room. “Spencer, I need a blanket or something to cover her up quickly. And we need to get her out of these chains.”

Y/N set her gun down, kneeling in front of the girl. “Do you know your name?”

“He called me Rosie,” she cried.

Emily came down the stairs with a blanket and bolt cutters. They freed her from the chains around her body. They wrapped her up and brought her upstairs into the light.

An ambulance arrived shortly, but the girl wouldn’t let go of Y/N. “Don’t let them take me.”

“I’ll come with you to the hospital, I won’t let anyone touch you without your permission okay? But you need to see a doctor,” Y/N explained to her.

“Okay,” she cried, holding onto Y/N’s hand for dear life as they walked towards the ambulance.

They loaded her up, Y/N sat down in the seat across from her and buckled in. “I know he called you Rosie, but what did your name or anything about who you are?”

“I don’t remember,” she cried.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to remember right now,” Y/N soothed her. “You’re going to be okay.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “We’ll find your family and you’ll get to go home. You’ll get a nice bed and soft clothes. Your family probably misses you so much, they’ll be very excited to see you.”

“Okay,” she smiled, slipping off to sleep.

At the hospital, the doctors and Garcia were able to match her to a missing child case from Milwaukee in 2004. Emma Carlton, then 9. She was taken from a schoolyard in the same town Peter Van Swank was pretending to be a school counsellor.

“How was he able to pull off all of this?” Y/N asked Garcia over the phone as Emma slept.

“I did some digging into all his previous identities, just to make sure we didn’t miss anything else and I found he had renovations approved by the City at his home in Omaha before he disappeared,” Garcia added. “So we are sending a SCSI team there now to make sure he didn’t do the renovations just to hide bodies.”

“So he’s a pedophile, a serial rapist, a child captor, and possibly a murderer too. Sick, can I play ‘how the fuck did he get away with this for so long?’ for $600?” Y/N felt the sarcasm seeping out of her body. She was so angry and didn’t have any way to get it out.

“Hey,” Garcia’s tone changed. “Are you okay?”

“I just finished my period,” she replied nonchalantly. “And my IUD expired so my hormones are nuts right now.” Remembering that she needed to call her doctor and switch to condoms as soon as they got back. “But I’m fine, it’s just seeing Emma like this you know? She’s just a little girl.”

“I know, but she has you right now to protect her and soon she’ll start to recover. But you call me if you need me. I know this one is a rough one.” Y/N could hear the smile in her voice.

“Thanks, Garcia.”

She hung up the phone and not 2 seconds later, Hotch called her.

“We got him to confess about Emma before we even told him that we found her. He seemed concerned for her?” Hotch explained.

“She is terrified of him. The doctors said she’s been horrifically abused and she’ll probably need to get a few bones re-broken so they can set them right,” Y/N shook her head, absolutely sick.

Hotch sighed, “he also said we’ll find 3 bodies under the deck at his wife’s house.”

“I fucking hate this guy,” Y/N couldn’t stop herself from replying.

“Me too,” he agreed. “Local PD is sending officers to relieve your duty with Emma. We’re flying back out in the morning.”

“I’m going to stay here till she wakes up, so she isn’t scared when I’m not here,” Y/N explained. “Will you let Spencer know?”

“Sure, be safe.” He hung up.

She sunk into her hospital chair and looked at Emma. She was so frail, her hair had been shaved off. She had cuts and burns and bruises all over her body and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from tearing up.

They were lucky she didn’t pick Van Swank up at the high school. She would have killed him for this.

“Y/N?” Emma asked.

“Hey,” she replied, getting up and standing beside her bed. She picked up her hand and held it. Using her other hand to rub her hair. Feeling the prickle of the buzzcut on her palm. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” she smiled softly. “Where’s my family?”

“Do you remember your name yet sweetheart?” Y/N asked.

“Emma, my mom is Sherry and we were at the park,” she whispered. “He had a puppy.”

“Your mom is on her way here now,” Y/N watched as Emma smiled up at her. “Officers are going to stand watch until she and a social worker get here. I’m going to leave my number here with you in case you want to call me when you’re settled at home, to let me know you’re safe.” Y/N hugged her softly. “you don’t have to be alone in recovery.”

“Thank you for saving me,” she whispered into the hug.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

—

Back in the hotel room, she found Spencer reading. She gave him a quick kiss before going to the bathroom and changing for the night. Splashing water in her face and trying to shake the anxiety out before she settled in for the night.

She flopped into bed. Sighing as she settled against the pillows. Spencer looked down at her, “how is she?”

“As you’d expect.”

“Yeah,” he awkwardly pressed his lips together. “Do you want to talk? Or watch a movie?”

She took the book out of his hands, placing it on the table before sitting in his lap. She moved his hair out of his face and looked at his big brown eyes. He was tired, she could see it in his face but she wanted to feel something good.

“Can you show me how a real man is supposed to love a woman?” She asked.

He turned off the lamp beside them, kissing her neck immediately before laying her back against the bed. Doing exactly as she asked.

With every kiss to her skin, he accompanied it with praise. He was extra gentle as he helped her strip from her clothes. He asked permission every step of the way. She slipped away into their little bubble, forgetting about the world outside their hotel door.

She held him close as he rocked into her, “I love you,” Spencer reminded her. Saying it for the millionth time that night.

She smiled every time, believing him wholeheartedly.

chapter 12

Months of cases passed in the blink of an eye. Before she knew it, the BAU went from being her dream job to her family, all gathering to celebrate an early Canadian Thanksgiving dinner at Rossi’s house.

They just so happened to have the right weekend off in October, so they took the chance when they could.

Having Turkey and all the fixings, going around the table to thank each other for another safe year on the job, making Y/N cry alongside the always blubbering Penelope.

Y/N was sat in the living room after dinner, an 11-month-old Henry snuggled into her side as he made her read the same book over and over. JJ knew he’d be smitten with Uncle Spencer’s girlfriend, because whatever Spencer was doing, Henry had to copy.

She loved it, missing all the time she used to spend with her Niece back in Las Vegas. She let Henry snuggle in close, kissing the top of his messy blond hair.

Spencer, Will and JJ were in the kitchen behind them, she could hear them lightly talking to each other as Henry started to fall asleep on her.

“Are you thinking about kids yet?” JJ asked him just after Will excused himself to the bathroom.

“Always,” Spencer replied. “The day Y/N wants a baby, I’m ready. I never thought I’d get to be a dad.”

“You’re a fantastic uncle, I can’t wait to see a little Spencer.”

Y/N picked Henry up softly, resting his sleeping head against her shoulder. She walked into the kitchen, JJ placed her hand against her heart and swooned at the sight.

“Do you want me to carry him to your car?” Y/N asked.

“Please, Will’s in the bathroom before we go, here’s the keys,” JJ handed them to Spencer, “I’ll be out in a sec.”

Y/N slipped on her shoes, Spencer held the door for her and Henry. “You look good holding a baby,” he complimented her. “Do you ever think about having kids one day?” He asked softly.

“Sometimes,” she said as they reached the car, she waited for Spencer to open the door.

She laid Henry in his car seat and carefully buckled him in. Making sure it was nice and tight and his head was correctly secured.

She closed the door lightly and turned to Spencer, “having kids scares me.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t ensure that they’re safe and fine all the time. My parents were great and I love them but I look at all the shit that happened to me and how they barely know any of it, and I can’t bear the thought of our daughter getting hurt. Or our son being an abuser, god forbid,” she explained.

“I think that’s normal for a parent to feel,” Spencer replied. “Especially one that works in this field. Hotch and JJ both struggle to do this every day and go home to an innocent little boy who they want to protect.”

“I know, it’s just really anxiety-inducing for me right now.”

“What is?” Will asked in his calm southern accent as they approached the car.

“Babies,” Y/N pressed her lips together in an awkward smile.

“Same and then poof, Henry popped up,” JJ ran her hand over her belly. “It’s absolutely terrifying every moment of every day, but the love you experience makes up for it. If I didn’t have Henry in my life, I’d never know what it truly means to love someone so much you’d kill for them.”

“As you should,” Will laughed, knowing she’d kill for him too even if she didn’t say it.

“Well,” Y/N sighed, “you get that little sweetheart home and tomorrow tell him aunty Y/N had a wonderful time with him.”

“Of course,” JJ brought her in for a hug, saying goodbye for the night.

Y/N and Spencer walked back around to Rossi’s backyard where he, Emily, Derek and Penelope were still sitting around a gas fireplace. Everyone with kids had managed to sneak out.

Y/N sat in Spencer’s lap, he held her in his arms as she put her legs over the arm of the chair.

“Margs?” Penelope asked her and Spencer.

“Sure,” Y/N smiled, taking one from her.

“I have to drive,” Spencer said.

“Stay in the guest house tonight if you want to drink, I don’t mind,” Rossi offered, and Penelope put a glass in Spencer’s free hand.

It was so lovely having time off. Sure, they weren’t alone but Y/N basked in the warmth of the fire and the feeling of Spencer’s hand on her side. She pressed her head against his shoulder softly. Ignoring her margarita, feeling drunk on Spencer’s company.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” he kissed the top of her head.

“You guys are cute,” Penelope commented on their sweet moment. “I’m jealous.”

“why, baby girl?” Derek asked her, “come here.”

Penelope got up and jokingly sat in Derek’s lap. They pretended to be all loved-up on each other while the rest of them laughed. “Better now?” He asked.

“Totally,” her sarcasm overly noticeable.

The rest of the night was mostly the same, laughing at dumb jokes and teasing each other. The rest of them drank until 1 am, Y/N stopped after only one drink. She was exhausted by the time they finally broke apart to sleep in the different rooms of Rossi’s gigantic house.

Drunk Spencer wasn’t something that Y/N was used to, even after just 2 margaritas. He was giggly, handsy, and adorable as hell.

Y/N pushed him into the room after finally getting him up the stairs and away from Derek. If it was up to him, he would’ve been up all night telling everyone anything they wanted to hear.

“But-“ Spencer said as she started taking his shirt off in the non-sexy sense.

“Shut up,” Y/N laughed as she pulled the shirt off his arms. “Can you take your own pants off and get in bed, please?”

She watched him struggle out of his belt, “I’m going to get a glass of water for your night table. You better be in that bed when I come back, mister.”

“Doctor,” he corrected her as he tugged his jeans down.

She slipped out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen. Filling a glass of water and taking a Tylenol from the bottle Prentiss left on the counter.

When she returned to the room Spencer was sitting under the cover’s watching the door, “wow, you listened.” Y/N was shocked.

She placed the pill in his hand and the water on his table, “it’ll make you feel better when you wake up.”

“I know how it works,” Spencer confirmed.

“I’m sure you do,” she laughed.

Y/N took her dress off, laying it over the chair in the corner of the room. She removed her bra and looked through the drawers in the room to see if Rossi had any shirts hidden away.

Sure enough, she found an abundance of old FBI Academy t-shirts in different sizes.

She crawled into bed beside Spencer and cuddled up to him. “Thank you,” she said as he settled against her.

“For what?”

“For asking if I wanted to meet your co-workers that day,” she felt oddly emotional. “Working for the BAU was such a far-off dream for me, I thought I’d be in VICAP for years before I even got considered for a position there. I don’t think I ever really thanked you for making my dreams come true.”

Spencer kissed her neck, “I just needed an excuse to see you all the time, and now you’re mine.” He wrapped his arms and legs around her so tight she had to tap out of his grasp.

It didn’t take them very long to fall asleep, finding a single position, huddled together in the middle of the bed. Just as fast as they fell asleep, it felt like they were being woken up.

Garcia knocked on their door at 8 the next morning, peeking her head in with Morgan just behind her. The two of them burst through the door and sitting on the end of their bed like kids on Christmas morning.

Spencer and Y/N groaned, hiding their faces in the pillows.

“We have a case, a pretty nasty one,” she announced.

“Hotch wants us at the plane in an hour, gives you enough time to race home and get back to Quantico,” Derek patted Spencer on the shoulder. “Come on Shaggy and Velma.”

Y/N sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “I don’t have pants on, can we talk later?”

“Yeah, sure come on,” Penelope pushed Derek out of the room.

Spencer let out a deep sigh, “good morning, love.”

“Good morning,” she stretched with a yawn, “so much for sleeping in.”

—

Y/N and Spencer made it to the plane with 5 minutes to spare, they sat down together and immediately closed their eyes, settling into the chairs and taking a quick nap with Spencer’s head on her shoulder.

They slept through take-off, then Hotch startled them awake. “Yep,” they both sat up, pretending they weren’t just asleep.

“This is Linda Rivers and her daughter Amelia,” Hotch introduced everyone to the two extra people on the plane. “Amelia is going to sit in the back and listen to a movie with headphones while we discuss the case.”

JJ helped her do just that, sitting close by in case she needed anything.

“Linda came to the FBI at 6 am this morning insisting to speak with anyone who solves child rape cases,” Hotch explained. “Her ex-husband, Captain Rivers with Colorado PD, is in a ring of men who groom and prep their daughters for an annual child sex swap.”

“Excuse me?” Y/N sat up straighter, feeling sick.

“Amelia told me that her father had been touching her on her, parts,” the woman could barely say it. “I got her to explain it as we would with a student, I handed her a doll and asked her to demonstrate what her father asked her to do and I recorded it.”

Penelope sent the file to the in-flight computer, showing them a video of the same little girl in the back of the plane with JJ, only she was traumatized and explaining what her father did and said to her. Y/N hated every minute of it, feeling her body temperature change as she got angrier.

“She said it started last November. He was getting her ready to swap daughters with his buddies, I don’t know if it’s the whole police force or other members of the community. I’m already a cop’s ex-wife, I didn’t expect them to take me seriously. So I came to you.”

“You did the right thing,” Y/N comforted her.

“She only told me because she wanted to know if it would happen again this Christmas, and that’s when it hit me. There’s a father-daughter camping trip that the local dads do right before Christmas. One of the dads owns a golf course with cabins on the property. He said they’d be ice fishing on the lake and riding snowmobiles, but,” she started to turn a shade of green. “He brought her there to trade with his buddies and rape another mother’s child.”

“It made him easy for us to find, however,” Garcia cut into the icky situation with her digging. “Martin Rivers actually did pay to stay at that cabin on the weekend she is referring to. So did the 4 other fathers, and I’m guessing the owner, Barry Chapman, stayed there in the last free cabin as well.”

“I’ve invited a female child psychologist to help us interview the children, as well as a female pediatrician to do physicals on the girls. The Colorado Field Office is waiting for confirmation on the men’s names in order to bring them in.”

“Already sent, they’ll let us know when all 6 men are in custody,” Garcia confirmed.

“What area do you live in?” Y/N asked.

“Boulder,” Linda confirmed.

Y/N and Spencer looked at each other, immediately thinking about the JonBenét Ramsey case.

“You can go join Amelia,” Hotch smiled at Linda, “we’ll keep you filled in.” They watched her walk to the back of the plane, switching seats with JJ.

Y/N kept to herself for the remainder of the flight. Writing in her little book as she over-thought the situation. Recalling all the JBR case info from memory, trying to figure out why her brain wants to connect these cases so bad.

—

When they finally landed in Boulder, they sent Linda and her daughter on their way to the Field office in a different SUV than the team.

“Hotch, can I have a word with you when we arrive at the office?” Y/N asked as Hotch drove the SUV, she sat in the passenger seat beside him.

“Do you have an idea?” He asked, “you can say it here if you want.”

“JonBenét Ramsey was from Boulder, Colorado. She wet the bed that night she was murdered and the unsub was able to get in, and out, without it looking like a break-in took place. What if the fathers in this town have been secretly rotating through their daughters every Christmas?” Y/N hypothesized.

“Wetting the bed is a sign of molestation, if he was grooming her like Amelia said her father was, she might have known what was going to happen that night and resisted,” Morgan agreed. “We could be dealing with a community-wide pedophile ring.”

“I’ll make a call to Child Abduction Rapid Deployment, they have connections to everything we’d need to deal with a child sex ring,” Hotch confirmed. “This case is going to be a rough one.”

At the field office, Hotch introduced Dr. Peggy Greenwood and Dr. Anya Accardi to the team. Both women specialized in child sexual assault and were there to help to the best of their ability.

JJ and Y/N were on mom duty. While each of the girls had their physical exams and interview with the Doctors, it was their job to keep the mothers calm. One by one they walked them through the allegation and asked for their perspective of last year’s cabin trip.

All the moms were the same, they never expected that their husbands would ever be able to do something like this to their own child.

“They might not be,” Y/N said to almost every mother. “If they’re bringing all the girls, it’s to exchange them. They might not touch their own children, they just groom them into thinking it’s okay for their friends to touch them.”

Every time she explained that they cried. Which was completely reasonable. This was the worst thing a parent could think of for their child, and Y/N felt for them all.

JJ noticed her mood, she knew something was off. She waited till she was alone with Y/N to ask if she was okay.

“Me?” Y/N asked as if they weren’t the only 2 in the room.

“Yes,” JJ ran her hand along her back. “Are you doing okay?”

Y/N sighed. Taking a moment, “no.”

“Do you want to tell me yet?” JJ asked.

“No,” Y/N was honest, she didn’t know who to talk to yet.

Derek knocked on the door lightly, “hey.”

“I’m going to grab a drink, do you want anything?” JJ asked Y/N, she shook her head to say no and watched her squeeze past Morgan.

Morgan closed the door and sat down beside her, “day’s like today are tough.”

“You have no idea,” Y/N sighed again.

“Actually, I do,” he corrected her, staring into her eyes with truth and honesty. “I was molested by my mentor growing up, it went on for years until I moved away. We arrested him a few years ago but it’ll still always hurt.”

“No one believed me, and he was only 3 years older than me so no one really cared either,” Y/N explained.

“I’m sorry,” he soothed her. “If you want to take a step back, I get it. But these girls need what we didn’t get. Offer support and justice before the damage overwhelms them.”

Y/N nodded, she knew he was right. “What are we supposed to do now?”

“All the mothers are pressing charges against the fathers, this has officially become a case for the state to deal with. Local feds are taking the case and sending us home in the morning for an internal review,” Morgan explained.

“How internal?”

“The NSA has agreed to monitor Boulder for any other pedophile activity, they believe your theory that there is a long-running child sex ring in the area and they’re going to do everything in their power to find out who’s behind this.”

Y/N smiled lightly, “they should invest in more female psychologists to do interviews on all the girls all the way up to the high school to see who else has similar stories. I’d even go on the news asking any girl who has a story like this to come forward.”

“They’ve already had a few women in their 20’s come in saying it happened to them too when they were 8 to 12,” Morgan said. “They’re going to put a lot of bad guys behind bars.”

“Thank god.”

—

In the hotel that night, Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about a world where fathers subject their children to sex slavery. She had felt sick all day, her stomach swelling and making noises all night.

“The world is horrific,” Y/N didn’t realize she was crying as she looked up at Spencer.

He was sitting beside her, reading a book in complete silence while she laid down, staring at the ceiling. “Hmm?”

“Those little girls really thought it was normal for her father’s friends to have sex with them like it was just a weird game they had to endure. That was their normal. There are people all over the world whose lives are absolutely horrific and we have no way of knowing. And no way of helping?” She ranted.

“You help when you’re asked, whenever a case comes in I know you’re going to find a connection and save someone’s life.” He said softly. “You can only control what’s in front of you, and you do that perfectly every time. You may not be able to save everyone, but your impact on the world is life-changing for those who get to experience it.”

“Sorry, I’ve been emotional and annoyed and sick to my stomach all day,” she explained, rolling into his side and resting her head on his shoulder.

“You’re not pregnant right?” He attempted to make a light-hearted joke.

She sat up slowly. “It’s October.” She whispered.

“Yeah?”

She looked at him, terrified. She swallowed sharply but it never made it all the way down, she covered her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

chapter 13

Spencer held her hair and rubbed her back as she leaned over the toilet. She wiped her mouth with some toilet paper and flushed it before laying back against Spencer’s chest.

“I was supposed to call my doctor 2 months ago and change my IUD,” she admitted. “It expired September 3rd.”

“You had your period that week, then we were in Kansas,” Spencer confirmed.

“And I made a mental note to tell you that it expired and that we need to invest in condoms, but then that case got insane and we had sex… right after,” she recalled it all.

She rubbed her hands over her eyes, she couldn’t believe she forgot. “Fuck,” she was so mad at herself.

“I think JJ knew,” Spencer said. “I think that’s why she asked at Rossi’s if I was thinking about kids, you cried at the dinner toast. And you don’t ever cry at work.”

“She also asked if I was okay today and if I wanted to tell her, and I said no,” Y/N added, “I thought she meant if I wanted to explain why I was so triggered today.”

“She has a 6th sense for pregnancies,” Spencer chuckled to himself.

Y/N stood up slowly, “I’m going to go talk to her, I need to talk to someone who’s been pregnant right now.” She didn’t wait for his response, she just walked into the hallway.

JJ and Emily were sharing a room tonight. She took a deep breath and knocked on their door, hearing their laughter pause as JJ came to the door. “Hey,” she smiled.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my god, come in.”

Y/N sat on the edge of JJ’s bed, both Emily and JJ in her face asking questions she couldn’t hear. Her whole world was frozen. Emily handed her a bottle of water and JJ ran her hand over her back lightly to calm her down.

“We support you in any decision you make,” JJ said.

“Okay.”

“We mean it,” Emily added. “JJ has had a kid, I’ve had an abortion. We can both help you, whatever path you choose.”

“I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” She repeated. Still in shock.

“Have you taken a test?” Emily asked.

“No.”

“Okay,” she said, slipping into her shoes and grabbing her wallet. “There’s a store across the street, I’m going to get a handful of tests.” Emily left the room and JJ didn’t say a word, she just rubbed her back.

“I need to go to the doctor, I need to get my IUD out before it hurts the baby, I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant,” Y/N worried. “I didn’t want kids yet.” She cried.

“It’s okay,” JJ tried her best to soothe her. “When we land in the morning I can drive you to the ER and we can get it removed.”

“Okay.” The shock was starting to settle and subside.

“You might not even be pregnant, this might just be another period coming, you never know,” JJ tried to calm her down.

“I’m pregnant,” she looked at JJ, tilting her head with a look. “You knew.”

“Your boobs changed,” she smiled. “And then you cried at dinner, and you felt sick on the plane, you’ve never been sick on the plane before. You also had a nap, and I know from experience that you’re exhausted right now.”

“Spencer’s going to be a dad,” she smiled, then she cried. She couldn’t believe it, she was going to be 29 in a few months and finally, she was going to be a mom.

JJ hugged her, “Henry is going to have a cousin!”

They were in a completely different mood when Emily returned, “I got like 12?” She panicked.

Y/N peed in a little plastic cup, letting her friends dip all 12 different tests in it. Laughing at the absurdity.

“Oh my god,” Y/N said quickly, “Penelope!”

“Shit,” JJ panicked then too, the both of them running down the hall and banging on her door.

Morgan answered, “What?!”

“Penny!” They panted, “we need you now!”

She grabbed her slippers and pink fuzzy housecoat and ran with them back to Emily and JJ’s room. “What?” She asked once they closed the door.

“I might be pregnant,” Y/N grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes, absolutely ecstatic.

“Oh my god!!!” They all screamed and jumped around taking a moment to really just celebrate it.

“They’re ready!” Emily called from the bathroom.

Y//N stood there, taking a deep breath and staring at the 12 tests all placed face down. She went for the clear blue first, that one would be the most honest. She turned it slowly.

Pregnant + 3-5 weeks.

“Oh my god,” she whispered.

Everyone was quiet, waiting for her reaction before reacting themselves. Y/N quietly flipped a few more tests, seeing lines and plusses galore. She grabbed a handful of them and walked out of the room towards Spencer.

She walked into the room to see Derek, once again, sitting on the bed talking to Spencer this time. She handed him all the tests silently, tears falling down her face. She wasn’t sure if she was happy or just pregnant.

“Pregnant,” Spencer confirmed. “Are we happy?”

She nodded as she dove for his arms. Hugging him tightly while the rest of the team gathered in the hallway, clapping and cheering. She expected to get a noise complaint soon. She couldn’t stop crying and laughing, getting tears and snot all over the shoulder of Spencer’s shirt.

By the time she calmed down, everyone had gone back to their own bedrooms. Leaving Spencer and Y/N with 12 positive pregnancy tests, all alone. They were laying flat on their backs, staring up at the ceiling, hand in hand.

“I have to go to the ER in the morning to get my IUD removed,” was the first thing she said to him.

“Okay, I know the gynecologist there. I will call her and ask if she can do it, she’s really good.”

“And can you ask JJ about her OB? We need some recommendations,” she asked lightly.

“Of course.”

“How do you feel about the name Matthew Reid?” was her next question.

“Matthew Gideon Reid,” he corrected her.

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Matthew is another name for Levi, and he’s always been the best little brother.”

“Gideon was the first father figure I ever really had,” Spencer said softly. “So you think it’s a boy?”

“I don’t know, I just always wanted a boy named Matthew first,” she turned her head to smile at him.

“So you’re all in?” He asked.

She nodded with a soft smile, “raising a baby scares me, but raising your children is going to be the best thing I ever do.”

—

They landed back in Quantico around noon. Spencer drove Y/N directly to the hospital, calling in his personal favour beforehand. They arrived to find the on-call gynecologist waiting to take her up to the procedure room.

The removal went smoothly, but they wanted to keep her for the night to make sure she didn’t bleed or miscarry in the night. The doctors didn’t tell Spencer anything more.

Seeing as Y/N wasn’t awake yet and Spencer wasn’t her husband, they couldn’t tell him much. That made him even more scared.

Spencer wouldn’t let go of her hand. He barely slept, he just watched her sleep with teary eyes. He had never felt a love this strong. His heart was beating so hard and so fast he thought he was going to have a panic attack.

When he finally did let go of her hand, he stood up to go get something to drink, only to find Gideon standing in the doorway.

He rubbed his eyes, thinking this was surely the sleep deprivation. But he was still standing there, unamused as always. “I’m really here, kid.”

“Why?”

“Heard you fell in love and got a girl pregnant. Figured you needed a father to talk to,” he admitted.

Spencer walked over to him, hugging Gideon for the first time in a few years. “So, how are you doing?” Gideon asked as he guided Reid towards the cafeteria.

He took a deep breath, “scared.”

“So was I,” Gideon admitted. “However, unlike me, you’re not going to screw this up.”

“You don’t think?” He asked, genuinely seeking praise.

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s impossible for you to be a bad father, you’re so hyper-aware of wanting to be present for this kid because you never got enough time with your own father.”

“How did you know?” Spencer asked.

“Because my son is a father now too, and he loves his kids. He works short days so he can pick them up from school, he’s never missed a soccer game or said no to anything they’ve asked of him,” Gideon sounded proud but jealous. “And he won’t talk to me, those aren’t my grandchildren. I walked away when he needed a father, and he’s never going to do that to his children. Neither will you.”

“I’m more worried about what Y/N will do,” he admitted. “Her job is her dream, but her mother didn’t work until she was 12. I don’t think she’d want to take the time off, but I have a feeling she’ll beat herself up over it.”

“Are she and Jennifer close?”

“Very.”

Gideon raised his hands in a small cheer, “has she ever put Jennifer down or called her a bad mother for working?”

“No.”

“She’s a smart girl, clearly if she’s with you. You will make it through this, okay? You didn’t ruin her career by getting her pregnant,” he reassured him.

“Thank you, I really needed this,” Spencer smiled, pulling Gideon into a second hug. “Would you like to be the grandfather to my child, They're going to need one?”

Gideon had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying, “on one condition.”

“Anything,” Spencer replied quickly, tilting his head to the side wondering what it could possibly be.

Gideon handed him a set of keys. “The house I shared with my first wife,” he explained. “It’s been empty for years, all I have to do is sign the deed over and it’s yours. You need a nice home for my grandchild.”

Spencer was shocked, “are you sure?”

“It deserves to be filled with love and laughter,” Gideon smiled. “Take care of them.”

“Thank you.” Spencer hugged him tightly. “For everything.”

chapter 14

Y/N cried every time she woke up from surgeries, she didn’t know why but she did. Her body hated being forcefully put to sleep for long periods of time.

By the time she calmed down and was able to wake up fully, her doctor was arriving in the room to give her the results of the surgery.

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Doctor Fiona Ashbury. I removed your IUD.”

“Hi,” she sniffled. “Spencer is basically my husband, he can hear all of this.” She confirmed.

“Okay great,” she smiled. “So everything went well. Your baby is doing great and we estimate that you are around 5 weeks along now. The pregnancy was intrauterine and should make it to term. You should expect your little bundle of joy around June next year.”

Y/N smiled up at Spencer who was staring back down at her like she was the only one in the room, “how long till we can go home?” Spencer asked.

“The nurse is going to come and give you one last check-up before you’re discharged. I’ve included my personal card and all the info about my good OB friend. Seeing as this is your first little one I thought I’d help you find the best person in DC to help Dr. Reid.”

“Thank you,” Spencer said, looking at Dr. Ashbury. “Your father was one of the best professors at CalTech. Your recommendation means we can really trust her.”

“Of course, let me know if you need anything else. Congratulations again,” she smiled one last time before leaving.

Y/N waved as she left, “she’s lovely.”

“How are you feeling?” Spencer asked softly.

“Good, kinda feel a little pinch still in my uterus,” she complained.

“We’ll ask the nurse if that’s normal,” Spencer smiled. “but are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “still really tired. Did you take the day off?”

“Hotch gave us 3 days, but he said we can add more. The 3 days is just so Strauss didn’t intervene,” he explained.

“Okay,” Y/N smiled before falling back asleep.

Spencer talked to the nurses on Y/N’s behalf after that, telling them she felt a pinching in her uterus, to which they said it was normal but Y/N had asked for no drugs to be administered. Pinching and bleeding were normal in the first trimester, no matter how scary it felt. He tried to remind himself of that.

Spencer tried his best to recall all the info he read when JJ first got pregnant, never wanting to be unprepared if anything happened to her in the field. Spencer stepped out into the room and saw Dr. Ashbury in the hall.

“Dr. Ashbury,” he said softly.

“Dr. Reid, how are they?”

“Good,” he smiled, “really good. Um, I was just wondering what kinds of vitamins and supplements I should pick up for her on the way home tonight?”

“The discharging nurse will have all that information in with the discharge papers, however,” she smiled at Spencer like he was a superhero. “It’s wonderful to see a partner take this much action so fast.”

“Thank you. I love her very much,” he made it clear.

“It’s very obvious you two are going to make beautiful kids,” she nodded slightly and walked towards the elevator.

—

Y/N was discharged later that night, Spencer pushed her down the hallways in a wheelchair, holding all her stuff in a bag over his shoulder. She could barely keep her eyes open as he brought her to the car.

“Can we stop at KFC?” she asked softly.

“What?” He laughed, thinking she was asleep the whole time he was driving.

“I want chicken tenders and fries with gravy, oh and they have really good potato salad,” she let her cravings run wild.

“You’re pregnant alright,” Spencer laughed, turning around in a parking lot and heading towards the nearest KFC.

He went through the drive-through, getting them both a late dinner. Y/N asked for a few of their frozen strawberry cheesecakes at the end of the order as well.

They ate in the parking lot, the car was turned off and the sun had completely set over the town. It was dark, they managed to park under the only street light in the KFC parking lot.

“This is perfect,” Y/N said as she all but stuffed the chicken tenders in her mouth. “The baby is so happy, you get a dad point.” She laughed.

“I’m going to collect dad points like PhD.'s,” Spencer replied, letting the sleep deprivation control the words that left his mouth.

“I’m so glad I didn’t wake up to them saying we were having twins,” Y/N admits, “when you said they wouldn’t tell you anything without my permission I thought, ah, fuck, it’s twins for sure.”

Spencer laughed. “Twins don’t run in my family and it’s normally hereditary. If you have twins in your immediate family, then you’ll be more at risk to have twins.”

“I know, my mom thinks I was supposed to be a twin cause she miscarried and then got pregnant way too close together. She said that her and my dad were giving up and then suddenly she was still pregnant with me,” Y/N explained. “I could’ve had a twin brother.”

“It happens a lot, mostly with twin absorption. However losing one embryo and keeping the other would make a lot of sense,” Spencer said as he continued to eat his chicken tenders.

“When should we tell them?” Y/N asked.

“Our parents? Most women wait till the second trimester to tell their friends and family. You reach the second trimester in 7 weeks,” Spencer already knew everything and it made her smile.

“What else do you know?”

“Right now our baby has a tail,” he laughed. “It’s still just a small sack of cells, the embryo is starting to develop its spinal cord and brain, running from the head to the rump. It’s roughly the size of an orange seed and you’re finally developing your placenta which will ensure that the baby sticks to the uterine wall and that they receive all the proper nutrients.”

“So, when will we hear the heartbeat?” she asked, impressed with how much he knew already.

“The first system to be operational is the circulatory system, When you're 5 weeks pregnant, the baby's heart is made up of two tiny channels called heart tubes and they're already hard at work. When those tubes fuse together, our baby will have a fully functioning heart, so probably by the end of next week?” He hypothesized.

“Can you believe that we made a human?” She asked, looking at him with absolute wonder. “All we did was have sex and suddenly we made a whole life.”

“It’s amazing,” Spencer agreed. “I’m just not excited to be changing your cat litter for the next 35 weeks.”

“You get to scoop up cat shit, and I get to hope that she doesn’t rip me a new asshole on the way out. You know, totally comparable,” she teased him.

“She?” Spencer asked.

Y/N blushed, “I don’t know, I had a dream in there that we had a little girl.”

“My mom always said she’d have a granddaughter first, and she’s never wrong.” Spencer’s smile was her absolute favourite. His teeth were perfect and he always looked so, so happy.

“What girl names do you like?” She asked him softly.

“I’d like for Diana to be one of her names.” He said. “I also like Marigold.”

“MD would be her initials,” Y/N pointed out, “she’d be the other half to your Ph.D.”

His laugh was perfect, he was so insanely happy and tired that he was a giggling mess. They finished their dinner, threw out their garbage and drove home finally.

Her bed had never felt softer. She laid down and basically passed out. Buddy jumped up beside her and buzzed around her belly, laying down directly on her stomach and kneading her with his paws.

Spencer crawled in beside them, kissing her belly and then her lips. “I love you both.”

“We love you, more.”

chapter 15

Her first baby appointment just so happened to be on Spencer’s birthday. Only thing was, Y/N forgot all about his birthday in all the crazy anticipation of seeing their baby for the first time.

Penelope, however, didn’t forget a birthday. ever.

They were in the OB waiting room when she got a text detailing a party at Rossi’s that Y/N was supposed to keep hidden from Spencer. Her only job was to get him to Rossi’s house at 8 pm.

“Oh my god,” she whispered to herself as she read the text.

“What?” Spencer asked, trying to read over her shoulder before she quickly locked her phone and turned it upside down.

She turned to him, trying to hold in tears but her pregnant brain had other thoughts. “I forgot your birthday today, I almost went through the entire day without wishing you a happy birthday,” she whispered.

“It’s okay,” he laughed, rubbing his hand down her back. “Being a dad is the best present I could get.”

She laughed as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “You know, I always knew your birthday and I’d remember it every year. I would always sit up and wish I could tell you happy birthday. Then, of course, the year I see you again I forget it.”

“Funny how the world works,” Spencer smiled.

The office was tiny. JJ had recommended this OB to them, saying she was wonderful, like having a friend in the room with you. That was just the type of intimacy that Y/N wanted when bringing a baby into the world.

“Y/L/N,” the receptionist called her name as she walked into the lobby. “We’re ready for you.”

They got up and followed the woman into the back office. She was handed a gown and told to take her clothes off and get on a table, she would be seen shortly by a doctor, and that’s when it all really hit her.

She was going to have an ultrasound, and she was going to see her baby for the first time.

She didn’t mind changing in front of Spencer, she took off her dress and draped the gown over her body before sitting on the crinkly papered bed. She hated every second of the noise the paper made against her body as she tried to get comfortable in such a compromising position.

Spencer sat down in the chair beside her. She couldn’t help herself from looking around the room. Paying attention to anything else to keep her anxiety at bay.

The walls were a nice shade of pink. Much more calming than the hospital blues and greys. There weren’t any posters about lumps or diseases, nothing about the damage smoking could do or other images of ruined organs.

All she saw were baby photos all over the walls. All belonging to women who chose these OBGYN’s to deliver their children. Every baby was so different, some cute, some absolutely adorable.

Then she saw Henry. He was wrapped up all tight in a blue blanket and the smallest little hat ever. He was in JJ’s arms, her swollen cheeks smiling wide as she showed off the biggest love of her life.

“One day our baby will be on that wall,” she said to herself, letting the facts sink in.

“Yeah,” Spencer smiled at her like she was the sun and it was his job to just orbit her for the rest of time.

“Good afternoon,” the doctor said as she walked in. “According to Jennifer, I’ve been tasked with bringing the next Steven Hawking into the world?”

Y/N laughed, “as long as he’s healthy, I don’t care what his IQ is.”

“I do,” Spencer joked. “It’s nice to meet you Doctor Korrapati, we’ve heard wonderful things about you.”

“As have I,” she smiled, sitting down on the little rolling stool at the foot of Y/N’s bed. “I read in your chart that your last period was September 3rd, meaning you’re most likely due June 10th... putting you at 8 weeks as of tomorrow.”

“Yep, that sounds about right,” Y/N confirmed. “Are we going to be able to hear the heartbeat today?”

“I don’t think so, but there’s always a possibility,” she smiled. “Have you ever had an internal ultrasound?”

“No,” she shook her head.

“Alright, well it shouldn’t be that weird for you just a little uncomfortable,” she explained as she picked up the wand and slathered it in lube.

Y/N looked over at Spencer with wide eyes, it was gigantic. He squeezed her hand a little tighter and winked at her. Letting her know that everything was fine.

It was uncomfortable, she felt it in angles she had never thought existed down there. Dr. Korrapati kept the screen facing away at first. Rolling the little ball on the cart around and typing in everything she saw.

“We’re measuring right at 8 weeks,” she said as she turned the screen to Y/N and Spencer. “This,” she pointed. “Is your little human.”

It looked like a jelly bean, the tail was shrinking as the limbs were starting to look more prominent. “Here you can see the ears are starting to grow, and if you look closely we might even see some little fingers and toes in the webbing.”

Y/N cried, “he’s so cute.”

Dr. Korrapati smiled, “we won’t know the sex for a while yet. Unless you’d like to run genetic testing next week?”

“How do they do that?” Y/N asked.

“NIPT or non-invasive prenatal testing is a simple blood test. Inside your blood is not only your maternal DNA but also fetal DNA. We can check for down syndrome, trisomy 18 and a handful of other chromosomal abnormalities. Another benefit is we’ll know the chromosomal sex of the baby,” Dr. Korrapati explained softly. “It can be done in week 9 and the results take up to 10 days.”

She nodded along as she listened, it would be nice to know what’s going on with her baby on a more scientific level rather than just looking at an ultrasound and guessing. “I can stop by during lunch next week and do the test.”

She printed off a dozen photos of the baby, leaving Y/N with a warm hand towel to clean up and change back into her clothes. But as soon as she left the room, Y/N and Spencer just sat there, staring at the photos of their baby.

“You’re not scared to know if something is wrong with the baby?” Spencer asked softly.

“No, I’ve always held the belief that if you want kids you better love whatever child you bring into this world. If something comes up positive on the test it doesn’t mean something is wrong with the baby, it just means we’re going to have a different experience raising our child than someone else’s,” she explained, feeling more passionate than she thought she would.

“That’s a beautiful way of looking at it,” Spencer kissed her on the cheek. “You’re going to be a great mom.”

“You’re going to be a great dad, birthday boy,” she smiled up at him. “Let’s go get some dinner, just the three of us.”

“I’d love to.”

All she wanted lately was a chicken caesar salad. She had been eating mostly salads for her daily nutrients, but there was something about the dressing, and the bacon and the croutons that made it feel like her tongue was having an orgasm.

They weren’t kidding when they said pregnancy cravings hit different.

Spencer and JJ had explained almost every aspect of pregnancy in agonizing detail to her over the last few weeks. She now knew that the reason she felt sick all day was because her uterus was the size of a small bowling ball and her digestive tract couldn’t handle big meals anymore.

Garcia took it upon herself to fill her mini fridge with lots of snacks (all high in fibre and calcium), greens in the form of salads and juices, and Kit Kats for her sweet tooth. Who knew getting pregnant meant getting pampered all day as well?

She stuck to lots of snacks throughout the day, skipping big meals to avoid the sick feeling in her throat from lingering all day long.

On the rare occasion that she did eat a lot, like on her boyfriend’s birthday, it made her belly look even bigger than it really was. She sat in the driver’s seat on the way to Rossi’s, having to push her seat back a little so that she could fit behind the wheel properly.

“Where are we going?” Spencer asked.

“I was thinking we could take a look at properties over here. We’re going to need a place with more than one bedroom in 32 weeks,” she reminded him, lying to get his attention away from the road to Rossi’s.

“You’d rather live in the country?” He asked.

She shrugged, “I’d like something bigger without having to pay a lot. We can get a house with 3 bedrooms for a quarter of the price if we leave the city.”

“It would be closer to work,” he agreed. “Turn down this road here, there’s a place for sale that I’ve always liked.”

She followed his direction, following the gravel road into the darkness. At the very end of the road, there was a house, big and beautiful. Tall pillars wrapped in ivy, dark brick, big windows. The outside lights were on, but it was clear no one lived there currently.

She pulled into the driveway and the two of them got out to walk around the grounds. Around the back, there was a huge backyard. The patio was a lot like Rossi’s only it was covered by a roof with lights.

The back entrance was beautiful, the painted green metal and glass framing the kitchen beautifully against the brick. She peeked inside, pressing her nose against the glass. Marble countertops, green cabinets, the most beautiful backsplash she had ever seen.

“It looks like no one has touched it since the ’80s,” she whispered.

“It has 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It’s an entirely open concept downstairs, the office space is my favourite. There’s a wall of old wooden bookshelves that would probably hold my collection,” Spencer explained.

“But how much would this place be? It’s definitely up in the 7 to 8 hundred thousand range,” she said, her voice muffled against the glass as she kept staring at the kitchen.

Spencer handed her a set of keys. “Don’t worry about that.”

She held the keys in her hand, noticing that the keyring also had a ring on it. “What is this?” She turned to him, holding it in shock. They were standing in the dark in a backyard she didn’t know, it was unreal.

“Gideon came to see me when you were in the hospital,” he explained.

“Like... the godfather of the BAU? And your honorary dad? He saw me in the hospital? Why didn’t you tell me?” Y/N asked, feeling like the whole situation was beyond comprehensible.

“I think JJ called him, he knew I’d need someone to talk to because I couldn’t call my dad.”

“And he just gave you the keys to this house?”

Spencer nodded. “It was his house with his first wife. He said it deserved to be filled with love and laughter. I didn’t tell you right away because we were busy signing all the paperwork and insuring it. I also had internet and an alarm system put in so you’d feel safer.”

“Spencer, this is all too much.” She kept moving the key around in her hand, looking at the ring that was attached to it.

She slowly took it off the keyring, twisting it around the metal before taking a closer look at it. The silver band glistened under the yard light. The green stone shimmered to high heavens, taking the attention away from the pearl that accompanied it.

It was beautiful.

“The green stone is because I know how much you love the colour, and the pearl is the baby’s birthstone. Let’s just hope they actually come in June otherwise that’ll be awkward,” he smiled.

“Are you asking me to marry you, Doctor Reid?”

He took the ring from her hands and got down on one knee. “I know you said you’d only agree if we felt exactly the same after a year, but I don’t think we’ll ever feel the same we did that day. Every day I spend with you I discover that love runs deeper than I ever thought possible. It’s never-ending with you. I’m never going to feel the same way about you 2 days in a row, I’m always going to love you more and more.”

She couldn’t stop crying. “I just wanted to stall you before taking you to your birthday party!” is all she was able to say, making Spencer laugh.

He got back up to his feet and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Which is why I thought this is the best time to surprise you.”

She held onto him tightly. “Okay,” She whispered. “I’ll marry you.”

He pulled back to look at her, holding her face in his hands as he leaned in for a kiss. Breathing her in like he never wanted to separate from her.

When he did, however, he placed the ring on her finger before kissing her knuckles. “Let’s go to that party.”

“What about the house?” She asked, looping her arm around his as they walked back to the car.

“We can come tomorrow when the sun is up, then you can really tell me how you feel about it.”

—

She tried her best to fix her mascara in the car, not wanting the team to see that she had been crying. They were running late and Penelope kept texting her, but she didn’t care. She quietly sat beside Spencer as he drove to Rossi’s, giving her a chance to stare at the ring.

Her life was completely different now than it was when she woke up. She went to bed not really believing she was pregnant yet, only to wake up and see her baby, get engaged and be handed keys to a house. It felt fake, impossible and completely overwhelming.

They pulled into Rossi’s driveway around 8:30, slowly making their way to the backyard where the party had already started.

“There he is!” Morgan cheered, causing everyone to turn towards the door and yell happy birthday at him.

Penelope quickly placed a golden hat on his hand and covered him in gold streamers. “Happy golden birthday to our golden boy!”

“28 on the 28th,” he smiled, fixing the hat with his free hand. “I’m also going to be a dad!” He announced to everyone, who already knew.

They all cheered again, giving them both a million hugs and high fives. “What’s this?” JJ asked, holding Y/N’s hand up.

“A ring?” Y/N replied, biting her lip so she didn’t laugh at her own sarcasm.

“Oh my god!” Penelope cheered, “so much is going on I need to sit down.”

“Me too,” Y/N laughed, rubbing her dress down over her belly to show how much it was sticking out. “I’m so overwhelmed.”

“Come on,” JJ walked her to the patio table. “How was your appointment?”

“Good,” she smiled, everyone followed and sat around the table. “I love our OB.”

“Pravina is wonderful,” JJ agreed. “Did you get any photos?”

“Here,” Spencer dug them from his pocket and placed them on the table, everyone took a copy.

“He’s got your big brain alright,” Morgan laughed.

“One can only hope,” Rossi chimed in. “This child is going to be a natural-born profiler.”

Y/N was so overwhelmed, she zoned out while everyone talked about their possible genius baby. They made bets on when they’d be born as well as how big they’d be, just normal workplace betting.

“You okay?” JJ asked softly. “Do you want to go talk?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she smiled, standing up with her, smiling at Spencer as she walked away.

They were quiet for a bit, walking around the side of the house towards a gazebo by the lake. It was chilly, they could hear the birds communicating on the water and the wind blowing through the trees.

“Gideon gave Spencer that house over there.” She pointed.

JJ’s mouth fell open, “you’re kidding?”

She shook her head. “How hard is it to be a mom and work for the FBI?”

JJ just smiled at her. “Hard. But it’s worth it.”

“How do you do it?”

“Luckily, Will really enjoys being a stay-at-home dad,” she said, shrugging. “But it does put a big strain on things. He has needs, he has goals and ambitions and sometimes I can’t always help him with those. But we love each other and we love Henry, and we make it work.”

“I know I’ll want to come back too soon,” she admitted.

“That doesn’t make you a bad mother. You’re allowed to have a life, as long as you go home and you put all your love and energy into them,” JJ reassured her.

Y/N hugged her softly. “You have to promise me something.”

“Anything?” JJ replied, brushing her hair with her fingers while they hugged.

“If anything happens to me you won’t let Spencer spiral,” she pulled back. “I doubt anything will happen, but if it does he needs to be a dad still, and I need you to remind him for me that I’ll never think he’s a bad dad for having a hard time dealing with it. I just need him to be there for our kid.”

“Of course,” JJ replied.

“You’re the only one who gets it,” she explained, pressing her lips together into a soft smile. “I’m sorry if this is too much but it’s been on my mind for the last few weeks.”

“It’s okay, I made Spencer promise to do the same for Will if I die,” JJ smiled right back. “We’ll be okay.”

“Thank you,” Y/N hugged her again.

“Let’s go see if that baby daddy of yours wants to dance,” she changed the topic to a more cheery one, escorting Y/N back to the party.

[headinthestaticsky]

Extras for The Dusk Calls for me.

Authors Note: While I plan out the next few chapters of my story, enjoy these memories I did for the re-write I did on Wattpad.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions and a attempt of SA

Time: This Takes place a year before the beginning of The Dusk Calls for me.

"Makes me feel like flying

Top-down backstreet driving Dusty road all alone

Tip my hat Puff of smoke, smoke

Makes me feel like flying

I just run ."

American Gurl by: Kilo Kish

I was finally out, those words of bile my mother and sister spew toward me finally pushed me over the edge. Yet those words finally got me back with my father in Forks, where I always belonged.

Flashback: One Week Ago.

"FLEUR! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" My erratic mother Renee yelled from downstairs.

My heart started beating out of my chest, what did I do this time? I walked into the dining room, Renee and Isabella were sitting at the table across from where I was sitting. Bella had a smirk on her face relishing in the tension between Renee and I.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You always have to cause trouble don't you?' She replied back, malice laced her voice.

"What? What are you even talking about?"

"Bella told me you've been saving money to go see your father in Forks." She spat at me.

My rapidly beating heart sunk down into my stomach, I had been trying to see my dad in Forks for a year now. My mother refused to get me a plane ticket herself, she always told me I reminded her too much of my father and that I didn't need to be around him anymore than I already was which wasn't often.

"Mother, it's my money I can do with it as I please," I said calmly though I could feel the rage beginning to boil in my blood.

"YOU AREN'T GOING!" She yelled demandingly.

I couldn't control myself, it was as if someone else had entered my body.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS SO WRONG FOR WANTING TO SEE MY FATHER!?"

"I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE THAT KIND OF MONEY ON YOU!"

"Well you aren't now aren't you? It's my own money and I will use it however the hell I want to!"

"Oh don't you..." Renee started.

"Are you going to tell me you would be doing the same thing if Bella was the one wanting to go see dad?"

"She isn't a trouble maker." She snapped back.

"How am I a trouble maker? For wanting my mother to be kind and considerate? For wanting my mother to treat me with respect? To get an ounce of love from the frozen, undead heart inside your chest?" I asked, my face heated up it felt like it was burning.

"If you can't stand to be around us so much why don't you just move down there to Forks?"

"I will, just give me the rest of the money for the plane ticket and I swear to god the second I walk out that door I will NEVER come back!"

"Fine..." I turned away from her before she could say anything else. Before I reached the stairs I turned around again, looking directly at Bella.

"Get away from her while you can Isabella, or you're going to end up being just as toxic as she is." I then left before they could say anything else.

Flashback over: 2 years before the Original story begins.

I looked to the side, staring out the window. The desert plains had disappeared while I slept and now the lush green forests overtook the view. The fog wasn't heavy but the skies were covered with dark grey clouds and a downpour of rain. The cold weather was a lot more favorable in my opinion, the sun couldn't burn my skin much here. The plane had begun to shake signaling that the plane was beginning to land. I couldn't wait to see my father again, I hadn't seen him since my 12th birthday. When I got off the plane I stretched, being cramped in a small plane for an almost 3-hour flight wasn't exactly the most comfortable.

I walked through the crowded airport, scanning the area for my father. I bumped into some disgruntled couples and quickly left before I was caught in the crossfires of their mood.

"Petal?" I heard from behind me. I turned around quickly recognizing that voice, it could calm me down before I got into trouble.

"Dad..." I said fondly before running up to hug him.

My heartfelt I little more full, and the pain my mother inflicted on me was healed for the time being. We walked out together, each of us was carrying a bag. The wind was strong today and my hair was flying all of the places. Its cooling touch raised goosebumps on my skin, mom didn't buy any warmer clothes for me so I was stuck in the typical Arizona tank tops and shorts. Luckily for me, the car was already warmed up so I dethawed quickly. We drove for a few minutes in silence, the roar of the engine and other passing cars were the only sounds filling the space.

"So, how have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while." Dad said.

"I've been better, you know how mom is," I mumbled.

"I don't know what happened to her, she wasn't like that in high school. If she was I wouldn't have even wasted a second on her."

"I know you would've dad...she's cruel for sure. She's just good at hiding it from people she wants to impress."

"Yeah, she is."

The drive was a giant wave of nostalgia, being 16 now and seeing all of the familiar sites and views brought back fond memories. The old ice cream shop dad use to take me to, the reservation that Sam and Leah lived on, it all brought me back. It also fueled anger, however, as my mother constantly kept me under the brutal radiation of the sun.  Dad must've seen the look on my face and put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay Petal, you're away from her now." He comforted.

"It's not just her dad... Bella's acting like her too."

"That's a shame... it really is."

"Yeah... it is." I sighed.

"I just can't wait to get back home, the attic is calling for me."

Dad chuckled before speaking again.

"You know... I heard you just got your license... So I got you an older car."

"You did not have to do that dad."

"It doesn't get in until next week, so I'll have to drive you to school until then," Dad said as if that would balance out the fact he got me a car.

"That's fine dad. What is it?"

"It's an old Mustang, a Fastback."

"Thank you, dad..."

"No problem Petal.

When we pulled into the driveway of our small but beautiful home the nostalgia fully set in. The colors were exactly the same, and the grass was just as muddy and dead as before.

"Well I cleared off some shelves for you in the bathroom, your room was a bit dusty so I just cleaned it for you," Dad explained as he helped me take my luggage upstairs.

"Sounds good, thank you again, dad, I love you."

"Love you too Petal." He kissed my head before closing the door behind me. The room was bare, I would have to fix it later on. I collapsed on my bed, facing the ceiling.

"I'm home."

September 17th, 2004.

"Dad I have to go, I don't want to be late on my first day!" I exclaimed throwing on a leather jacket.

"Petal I am almost ready, I never knew you were so much of a bookworm." He joked, ruffling my hair.

"Dad I am an entire school year ahead of where I should be... I take my education very seriously." I said, trying to hide the growing smirk on my face.

"Alright alright let's go," Dad said, taking my arm and pulling me out the door.

We were only driving for a little bit when I decided to roll the window down, I placed my arms on where the window used to be and rested my head on them. My hair blew out of my face and the cool mist of Forks hit me. When we arrived at the school dad was scanning the parking lot looking for a place to park when he passed right by a group of people. They were all gorgeous, their faces seemingly perfectly sculpted, and they all had the same colored eyes, golden. My eyes locked with one however, they were filled with pain for a second before melting into shock. something strange filled my chest and my heart began to race. As we drove past them I gave him a smile, hoping to ease his shock.

Timeskip: September 30th, 2004

Something was up, the boy I saw outside that window, Jasper Hale was more than what he seemed. He was freezing cold all the time, and I swore I saw his eyes turn black for a split second when he saw a boy from another make a gesture toward me. It was strange really, we had been friends for a few weeks but he seemingly had a protective...energy over me. But at the same time, I still felt something... I couldn't explain it. It was as if we were connected to each other in some way. My dad had to take my car to the shop and he couldn't pick me up today so I decided to take a trip to the library, hoping to find some new material to read.

I didn't realize how long I had been in the library until I looked out of the small windows of the building. The sky was darkened and daylight was running out, I checked out a few books and left not wanting to be stuck walking in the night. I was a few blocks home when I heard 3 men talking behind me.

"Oh looks at this one..."

"She seems perfect for us."

"Come here girly... we just want to talk."

My heart raced and my pace quickened, speed walking home. I tried taking weird turns and cuts but they wouldn't fall for the bait. I decided to run for it hoping my legs would be quick enough to evade them all. I was then pushed against the wall 2 minutes into my escape again, the smell of alcohol made me want to retch.

"You aren't very good at listening to orders." One murmured, his face was inches away from me, he breathed in my scent and began to chuckle.

"Don't be too hard on her... I like ones that fight." Another said

"Make this easy on yourself girl..."

One reached down to take off my clothes when he was suddenly thrown back a few feet into the air. I just stood against the wall shocked, I saw Jasper standing over the man before making his way over to the other two men. They both took off leaving their "friend" behind but Jasper zoomed toward them. His speed was inhuman and his strength was unprecedented yet I couldn't stop myself from moving from my spot. The other two men were flown into the air and scream on impact. Jasper grabbed them both by the throats.

"If you EVER try to touch her or any woman for that matter like that again... I. will. kill. you!" He growled before releasing them down on the ground. They gasped and ran again, babbling in terror toward one another.

Jasper walked toward me with a guilty look on his face, his hand reached out for mine and I took it without even thinking.

"Come with me Darlin' I have a lot to explain to you." He said softly, his mood had completely changed with me.

We walked for a few moments in silence, I side-eyed him for any shift in behavior, when it didn't I decided to interrogate him.

"How did you do that?" My voice trembled.

He sighed before replying.

"I'm a vampire." He said blatantly.

I looked at him and laughed thinking it was a joke... when he didn't join I stopped and looked at him with shock.

"You're serious?" I said, my eyes widening again.

"Yes I am, I've been 17 for...141 years. I got changed during the Civil War."

"Damn... you're old... wait were you in the Civil War?"

"Yes, I was drafted to the Confederate Army when I was 17..."

"Yikes..."

"You're telling me, I ran away the first chance I got... I wasn't going to fight in some war that was fueled by warped and disgusting ideas just because I was forced to. I never thought the way they did... I never understood why someone could think so low of a human being just because of his skin."

"That's very brave of you."

"I had just made it to Galveston when I decided to take a break... I ended up on a beach... that's when I ran into an immortal named Maria. She was creating an army and decided that I would be a good fit for it."

"She changed you against your will?"

"I didn't even know what she was doing until I felt searing pains from my arms all the way up to my neck." He explained rolling up his sleeves and showing me his scars."

I traced the teeth marks on his forearm before looking up at him again.

"I'm sorry that happened to you..."

He looked up at me in shock.

"You... you feel sympathy for something like me? I'm a monster..." He said sincerely.

"It wasn't even your choice as to what you became... and I don't think a monster would've saved me back there. Face it, Jasper, you're a big softie who's had bad experiences in his long... long life."

He chuckled before glancing at me, we made it back to the house, dad still wasn't home yet. We walked into the backyard, sitting in patio chairs and looking up at the stars.

"There's something else I have to tell you." Jasper admitted in the darkness.

I looked at him in confusion, what else did he have to tell me? He's a werewolf too?

"You're..." He hesitated. "You're my mate." He said quickly.

"What? How... vampires have mates?" I asked in shock.

"Yes we do, and we instantly know when we've met them. Didn't you feel it, when you looked out that window at me? It was enamour... love, something I have never experienced before."

"I haven't either... but I have to admit I felt something too. I just didn't know what it was, I felt connected to you somehow though. But... I'm 16... falling deeply in love isn't exactly something I planned."

"I understand completely. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. I understand I am a vampire... this is a lot to take in." Jasper said lowering his head in shame, his curls covered his eyes.

I sat up and turned to him.

"Hey, hey it's not just because you're a vampire honest! I just need to think things through... we can still talk in and out of school I won't push you out." I said a bit faced-paced. I didn't want to hurt his feelings he did just save me after all.

He looked and me and grabbed my hand.

"Take all the time you need Fleur, I will accept your answer no matter what is it." He said sincerely.

"Thank you... Jasper."

"It's not any trouble." His face lit up all of the sudden, car headlights entered my line of view. I felt my hand by dropped by his cold one and a whoosh of wind flew my hair forward. I turned back around and he was gone.

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004.

It was hard, weighing the pros and cons of being with Jasper.

Pros: We were soulmates... destined to be with each other, He knew my limits and respected my boundaries, he gave me a choice, not forcing me into something I might not want to do, and he was a kind and gentle soul. We understood each other, our hearts and souls were connected and I would never find someone else I would be so close to.

Cons: He was a creature who thirsted for blood... a thirst he didn't always have the best control over, Being in a serious relationship at such a young age was a huge commitment I didn't even fully know who I was... would I ever be able to find out who I am being so committed to someone If I did become involved in a relationship two things would happen... I would die and leave him lonely for eternity, or I would be turned into a vampire... leaving my family behind.

My mulling over of the pros and cons was interrupted, a girl had cleared her throat. I looked up realizing I was still in the school library, standing in the back of the constant isles of books. I turned to the voice and my eyes were shocked to see Rosalie Hale looking at me.

"Rosalie? Is there something you need?" I asked.

"Let's go for a walk, I need to talk to you in private." She said she seemed tense about something.

I checked out the books I got before following her to the outside, we walked near the edge of the woods. The dead leaves and grass crunched underneath our feet.

"I know Jasper told you about us... and he told me that you wanted to think somethings over with him." She started.

"Hey... I just wanted to let you know I would never tell anyone about you guys... And I'm not trying to hurt Jasper with me thinking our relationship over. It's just a lot of process." By the time I finished that statement she laughed and patted my shoulder.

"Don't worry Fleur I completely understand why you want to think over some things... I would too if I were in your shoes. Besides, I trust you... I get a good vibe off of you." Rosalie replied smiling at me.

"I want to get into a relationship with Jasper I do but... I don't want to leave my father... he's all I got right now and I'm all he's got."

"Hey, I promise no one would force you into becoming a vampire in our family... I especially wouldn't force you to."

"Really?"

"Yes of course... It's nice to meet someone with a respect for mortality."

"It's just... I always to do certain things... like going to that art school in Cayon City Oregon... the Art Museums down there are amazing... and I always wanted to kid when I was older... a little boy." I explained smiling fondly at the thought.

"I did too... I always wanted a son."

"But at the same time... I wouldn't want to spend all my time with Jasper... only to leave him alone for eternity you know?" I asked her hoping she would get my point of view.

"Of course... I can tell you've been conflicted these past few weeks about it. But I wanted to vouch for Jasper... he's willing to do anything for you, and his thirst for blood has never been more controlled than when he's been with you. He won't take you away from your family either... he would never want to hurt you in any way possible." She explains turning toward me to look me in the eyes so the message could really sink in.

"Thanks, Rosalie..."

"Of course...give Jasper a chance, I promise it'll be worth it." She said.

"I will... I'll talk to him tonight, thanks for the guidance."

"No problem."

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004: 10:12 PM

Dad was gone, he had to work late down at the station tonight. My palms and legs shook nervous to tell Jasper my decision. I was sitting in the same spot I was in when Jasper told me I was his soulmate... the cool air calmed my nerves slightly before I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Fleur? You said you wanted to talk to me... are you okay?" Jasper's voice asked worryingly behind my closed lids.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just wanted to give you an answer about... everything."

He sat down adjacent to me and nodded, wanting me to continue.

"I will get into a relationship with you... thank you for giving me the time to think about things."

He smiled before asking me if he could kiss my cheek. I said yes of course and it seemed my body melted in bliss and content. All the past weeks' tensions and worrying left me and it was replaced with love... and a sense of stability. We looked up at the stars and I pointed toward the largest one in the sky.

"You see that one?" I said.

"Yes, I do Darlin'."

"That is the star of the path I started with you..."

[raysofcrosby]

Can we maybe get a sneak peak of the next chapter????

of course 🥰💛

“No, that’s not how that works,” she laughed, shaking her head. “And Moira didn’t tell me not to date, she just...she suggested that maybe before pursuing anything with anyone, that I should take the time to really try and understand why I did what I did in the terms of why I broke up with you and then chose to date when I wasn’t ready.”

“Hm, okay,” Matt nodded, crossing his arms.

“Okay?” She asked, turning towards him and holding the blankets closer to her chest. “That’s it? Just...okay?”

“Yeah? I mean, I’m not going to tell you or ask you to ruin whatever progress you’ve made since you started seeing your therapist, just because I want us to be together officially.” He shrugged, reaching out and tucking some hair behind her left ear. “So, I’ll just wait and whenever you’re ready to make it official, all you have to do is say so and I’m down.”

“I don’t…” she spoke softly as she furrowed her eyebrows, shaking her head slightly. “I can’t ask you to do that, Matt. I don’t know how long it’ll take and–”

“Good thing you don’t have to,” he smiled, cradling her face with both of his hands. “And I’m willing to wait for however long it takes, because I want you. Just like I told you…it’s always been you I want my future with. Nobody else.”

Caroline nodded, looking at him. “I promise I’ll try my best to figure it all out so you don’t have to wait long.”

“Don’t rush it, Care,” he said, leaning in and kissing her before resting his forehead against hers and looking at her. “Take care of yourself first, put yourself first. I’ve got E, we’ve got our parents to help if there’s anything serious and you’ve got E and me if you ever need anything. Just, take your time and do what you need to do because I’m not going anywhere.”

She reached up and cupped the right side of his face, leaning in and kissing him, pushing herself into him and lying him back against the bed. Her left hand dropped the comforter and moved to the left side of his head as she straddled over him, deepening the kiss.

Matt started to laugh once she started to kiss down his jaw, leaning his head away and looking at her. “Now who’s the insatiable one?”

Caroline rolled her eyes, resting her forearms on his chest and propping her chin down on top of them. “Can you blame me? Not only have you given me the best sex since well, since 2015, but you’re being sweet and saying all these things.” She reached up, brushing her thumb beneath his eye, wiping away an eyelash and holding it up between them, smiling. “Make a wish.”

Matt sat up, his right arm wrapped around her waist as he closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them and blowing the eyelash off of her thumb. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I wished for, Miss nosey?” He mumbled, leaning into her palm as she cupped the left side of his face again.

She shook her head, a small smile on her face. “I think I’ve already got a good idea.” She leaned in, kissing him again, and again, and again until she felt out of breath and needed to pull away. “We should probably get ready.”

“What time is it?” He asked, pressing his lips against hers again.

She leaned over and reached for his phone since it was closer and tapped the screen, Matt’s background lighting up to show a picture of the three of them from Matt and Ethan’s birthday when they were at Brady’s game. It was when their entire family group went down to the ice for warm ups– which is most likely how Matt had even been spotted by the media in the first place– and Keith had told the three of them to turn around so he could take a picture. Ethan had yet to get his nachos, but had finessed Andrew out of buying him a bag of cotton candy, so he was trying to hide the bag behind him as he smiled, leaning back against Matt and Caroline who were both leaned in towards Ethan and against the glass, smiling too. She remembered this moment, because not even a single second after they took the picture, Brady had shot a puck at the glass, breaking up the peaceful moment and laughing about it soon after.

“6:45,” she said, turning the phone towards him. “Since when has this been your background?”

He held his hand over hers, never taking the phone from her as he laughed. “Since we took it,” he replied, shrugging. “Better than the one of me, Johnny and Gio at the All-Star game last year.”

“Speaking of,” she replied, putting the phone down onto the side table. “Are you sad you missed out on that? I know that's the first one you’ve missed since 2020.”

“Oh you do, hm?” He smiled, fanning his fingers over her hips. “But no, it’s fine. There’s always next year,” he shrugged. “Besides, it’ll be more fun next year than any of the last ones.”

“Why?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Because I’ll get to bring E with me, like how my Dad would bring Brady and I when we were younger and then Taryn when she was old enough. Don’t you remember how fun it was when you went that one year? What was it? 2004?”

“Mhhm, I also remember you and Brady leaving me behind in the hallway because you saw Mark Messier and you grabbed Brady’s hand and Brady couldn’t grab mine because you were dragging him off and your Mom thought I was with you cause she saw you guys running off, so she tried to catch up.” She laughed, looking down at him. “I had no idea who any of those people were, so I just stood there crying in the hallway because you guys left, I didn’t know where your Dad was and I was six.”

“What?” Matt laughed, shaking his head. “Nuh uh, that’s not what happened.”

“That’s exactly what happened,” she replied, nodding. “You guys left me, and the only reason why anyone knew where to take me was because some player saw that I had the Tkachuk all-star game jersey on and took me to where your Dad was.”

“Oh shit,” Matt laughed, leaning his head back. “I do remember that! Because Mom asked where you were when we were getting ready to take the picture and then right after Mom took our picture, we went back to the locker room and you were sitting in Marleau’s locker and he and his wife were comforting you because Dad had to do an interview.” Matt’s laughter faded out as he sighed. “Yeah, I remember getting the disappointed look for that one. But sorry, it was Mark Messier.”

She rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling. “Yeah, yeah, well whatever you do, don’t lose our kid please.”

“What? You’re not coming too? Chaperone and take pictures? See me in all of my all-star glory?” He frowned, sticking out his bottom lip.

“Oh...I mean, if you want me to go, I will.” She replied, shrugging. “I didn’t think you’d want me to, considering who knows what our relationship will be by then. We could still be just friends.”

“I don’t care about that,” he replied, shaking his head. “I want you and Ethan there. Plus, Emma will probably be there too so you’ll have a friend. Not to mention my parents will probably want to go...but I just really want you and Ethan there.”

Caroline laid down against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and feeling the cool fabric of the pillow against them as she closed her eyes and kissed him softly. Matt exhaled as his arms wrapped around her, holding her against them before they pulled apart, Caroline resting the right side of her face against his chest, hearing his heart beat against it and Matt pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“We really should get ready,” she replied, her fingers playing with the nape of his neck. “There’s no telling when Ethan will wake up and try to come wandering in here.”

“Also speaking of Ethan...when should we tell him that we’re...thinking about this? Or should we keep it on the downlow until we’re even sure anything is going to happen?” Matt asked, reaching behind her and taking the blankets off of them, their naked bodies exposed to the room temperature.

“Maybe we should wait,” she said, kissing him one more time before pushing herself off of him and getting out of bed, turning around and grabbing his hands to pull him out of bed. “That way he’s not constantly badgering about it.”

“Mhhm,” Matt replied, getting out of bed and wrapping his arms around her again just as she turned around and placed his chin in the crook of her shoulder. “Because then you know what comes next? Him badgering about when we’re getting married, when we’re going to have another baby and on and on and on,” he said, blowing a raspberry into her neck, causing her to try and wiggle away from him.

“Sh, don’t make any excess noise, we don’t even know if he’s asleep,” she replied, lightly smacking his arm as they both walked into the bathroom.

Caroline walked ahead towards the shower while Matt closed the sliding bathroom door, locking it in case Ethan happened to make his way through the locked bedroom door. He walked back towards her, just as she set down their towels before opening the glass door and he followed her into the shower. He closed the door behind him and hung back towards the back of the shower, smiling to himself as he watched Caroline keep her back towards him as she reached forward to feel the temperature of the water, bringing her hand back towards her and hugging herself as she turned around, a sheepish smile on her face.

“It’s a little cold,” she laughed, walking towards him. “Guess we should’ve waited a little longer.”

Matt opened his arms, still smiling. “I’m willing to keep you for until it warms up. A burden I’m willing to sacrifice that.”

She rolled her eyes, walking into his arms and wrapping hers around his waist as she propped her chin up onto his chest, looking up at him. “Is it possible for me to already miss you when you haven’t even left yet?” She whispered, a frown on her face.

He brought his hands up to the sides of her face, brushing his thumbs along her cheekbones, nodding. “Yeah,” his Adam’s apple bobbed as he tried not to think about how his days back in Calgary would differs so much from his routine the last six months. “It’s definitely possible.”