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twinflameshardcore · 7 years ago

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Sensory overload

I’ve been sensing you wanted me to write something so here it goes. The energy of the last 2-3 months is what I do not understand. It doesn’t feel new at all. It doesn’t feel as something I’d be familiar with either. It’s not a limbo because I feel I was placed somewhere. The space around feels like living in a a liquid, cloud, or inside a wind blow. The space is blurry. There’s nowhere to anchor or root into. My hands refuse to do what I want to do, like typing on a keyboard. I do so many typos that it’s frightening. I forget words, and words do not want to come when I want to write, specifically in another language. I even have problems with talking to people as i the brain didn’t remember how to make a sentence. Yet I’m not worried about it because I know there’s something being removed from my conditioned brain, the nervous system is being adjusted accordingly and I will be upgraded soon.

The twin flame merging continues and since May it had become extreme to the point that I have my twin around 24/7 because I feel him the same as when we spent time together when we met the first and only time so far, yet I cannot see him and we don’t talk either as regular humans :D He is in me, we are connected with some nerves, arms whatever you name it, no more only through the heart but with more parts of our bodies, yet we’re still on a distance but the ‘distance’ loses its meaning when it’s all happening so closely.

Dreamtime energy becomes a day energy sometime, they mix together that I can feel as if I was in one of those places I visited in my dreams, and it’s happening just as I dig in the garden or write at the desk. I can track that energy with the crown and 3rd eye and I can sometime tap into that ‘storyline’ to participate for a few seconds before I’m thrown out by my own logical brain ;)

I had a big fear of love one day too, which was unnatural. I felt I was afraid of loving, engaging, participating etc. that I no more wanted to be in any relationship. I don’t even know if it was my fear as I always wanted to be in a relationship, living together, whether married or not. Maybe it was the twin’s or the ego’s when it felt an intimate connection was coming. Then it all dissolved when I told myself - ‘keep your channels open, want the twin with all of your body and energy as you experienced him when we met in the physical back then’. And I did feel him exactly like that, the same exciting man I met, living around me, yet much more open, divine and understanding. The next day we were extremely close with the twin, not even in spirit, just very physically yet on a distance, no conversation. I could only explain it that our higher selves who are One somewhere up there in another dimension are coming down into us and are bringing their ‘together’ future timeline to replace this one of separation we've had for 4 years now. Which also may mean our next physical meeting is coming anytime this year.

A follow up was that we have lately had an amazing 5D sex which was super conscious, in spirit and as in the physical body but on a distance. Without even arranging it. It was as if we both decided at the same time that we wanted to unite like that. It literately reminded me what true sex is about, how sweating bodies feel, and all that energy exchange, the masculine connecting with the feminine, both enjoying own masculine energies (we’re androgynous as angelics), both allowing, giving, taking, etc. I‘ve had no sex life for the last 4 years, because I’m faithful to the twin, and so he is to me. It was so very intense that it kept me in this energy field the entire day and I wanted more as the twin wanted too (that’s an impression I received, like when you feel a man wants you). He must have realized that we could make love just on a distance, yet so openly.That morning we just grabbed each other, openly like never before, feeling each other very physically and knowing that the other on the other side of the planet participates with the same ‘knowing’ of what we’re doing. We didn’t have such an intense sex when we lived together for a while in the real life, we were stressed out, had little sleep due to a jetleg and overall, the room was far from perfection to get fully intimate with each other. But this new intensity means I’m going to have what I always desired and yet with my masculine twin sometime next ;)).

Other than that I’m having a sensory overload like a robot whose program was hacked, glitches in vision, hearing, motion, understanding what is what, and something new is being added to the program (or removed from) thus the robot refuses to perform because it doesn’t want to make a mistake. An issue of perfection comes up too, like looking for imperfections everywhere and stopping myself from engaging with this energy. Colors are too intense (red specifically like seen through special sun glasses for drivers which underline the red color/light). I feel too big for my room eventhough I’m a slim person. I’m sensing every little thing in my place separately, every shape, weight, color, and the space it occupies. My brain feels like a bucket of water, ‘waving’ inside, unable to focus. This is very overwhelming and sometimes I just can’t spend time indoor as if I had a claustrophobia.

I’ve also received a ‘message’ from my higher self that I’m becoming a master Draconian/Dragon whom I used to be before. So it’s like returning to own highest, most advanced, forgotten identity. I’m a master teacher born as number 33, in the year of the Fire Dragon, on Tuesday which is a day dedicated to Mars and all these attributes are not casual as I’ve been discovering since my awakening in 2012. I am not to teach others, but to educate myself. Master teachers can only teach or learn from other master teachers. It was even stranger when I had a trip to a city and I accidentally met a woman who was born a day before me (same month, different year, she was older) and she was also born as number 33 as we summed up on a calculator in her little shop! She was telling me about breatharians (folks who only drink water and get nutrition from the sun/light/air) and this term was on my mind for 3 days before I met her! So the two master teachers have met and energetically upgraded each other, talking spiritual stuff, shaking hands, exchanging views. Very unusual.

Next, a few days ago I felt as if there were many powers fighting inside of me, extreme chaos. I’m a very balanced person so it was annoying. Then I took some stick which was a plant supporter as I was re-potting one of my plants, and my body spontaneously started using it as in a fight, like those who practice martial arts with ease, quickly and efficiently! I fought with it for a while then I asked myself what the hell I was just doing. My higher self told me that it’s how DNA cleans and it projected my past life’s skills and that I had links with China, Japan and Mongolia and also with Thuban in the Draco constellation. I mean I figured it out before based on my interests and skills (gardening, calligraphy, ink illustration, collecting things, woodworking etc). I even felt once I died as a kamikaze which was a glorious death with speed and passion to annihilate the enemy, and I also experienced some kind of atomic war, a total destruction and radiation, whether during the last WWII or on another planet in the past. But this time it came along with a knowing that as a master I was trained also in martial arts on Thuban. I’m a positive Draconian (interestingly there’s more and more talk about positive Draconians online these days, like I said before, perhaps in this blog, after a separation with Reptilians, we Dracos were hiding for a reason until we’re fully understood and recalled). I had my ‘retirement’ and ‘rebirth’ on Eltanin which is the Draco’s eye and is in alignment with my birth day & location on Earth too. But my higher self told me that I spent a lot of time on Thuban in the Draco and I was studying, then teaching others - all kinds of things including a master degree in love making. I’m just wondering how many more incarnations will come out of me/my DNA this year, considering I’m a very old, billion years old soul... Most of these ancient skills have no use these days as I’m sitting home, waiting for my twin to start talking to me again :P

There are days when I feel in me a powerful, angelic being and I can radiate this excess of the heart’s energy to other people, to strangers, then a low energy comes from nowhere and I don’t know what to do next, or how I even got so high previously. I cannot believe that I signed up for that kind of relationship and awakening where nothing tells me what’s going on. I received all I should know until April 2017, and since then it’s over, no more channelings, no more research, synchronicities, being prompted to search and check in my own DNA/memory/heart if what I discovered was about myself too. I only see numbers 11:11, 33, 44 and 55 lately. 55 is a physical body connection (DaVinci’s Vitruvious man - 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 head - twins becoming one in the physical sense), 33 is a connection with the source of creation and us two into One - the heart connection, One with everything. 44 is probably some kind of establishing, fencing, solidifying, something about the external world. I read it’s an angelic number but I’m not very sure of its nature.

I lately also feel my room is crowded and noisy as if there were many invisible beings here, yet I’m not willing to talk to any as I don’t want to be bothered and I have no idea what they would want from me. I don’t find any of these energies attractive, or ancient family-like, in terms of galactic beings who could eventually come to be with me. There’s no love or recognition around, just confusion, and a spiritual noise.

Another example of the weirdness. Last night, actually this morning (07/03) I was attacked (visited ?) by something which wasn’t aggressive but was too close to me and it freaked me out. I heard a very high pitch, noise in both of my ears and hemispheres connected and I felt hot in the body. My crown chakra was tingling several times during that day and night. I was waking up a few times at night around 1-3 am and before 3 am I was finally ready to fell asleep. Then I felt something was behind me in my bed! I had a sodalite stone under the pillow and it really lets me jump through time and space spontaneously but apparently since something was opened between dimensions as I was shifting, some being might have glued to me. It was so fucking scary but I could still control it. So I felt I was falling asleep and all of sudden I wanted to roll on my back and there was a pressure of another being in my bed just as when you sleep with somebody and you roll onto them at night! And it wasn’t my twin as there as no loving connection. It wasn’t also me from another dimension trying to enter my body and fuse into One. I found it intrusive and my body was kind of paralyzed. Then quickly I-the spirit- the Draconian in me got fully conscious and it turned around inside my body towards that other ‘being’ behind and said all mean - ‘Get the fuck out of here. I AM the only owner of myself, of this version of me who sleeps in this bed. This is my place and nobody can be here without my approval. Get out now!’ Yet I and my spirit felt very weak, like I couldn’t find my original core fire which normally I would launch-fire up against that alien energy or at least scare it away. For the next 15 minutes I tried to stay awaken and I was sensing with my head ‘antennas’ if it was still around me, not even willing to roll on my back again. I felt it was still there, laughing and waiting, provoking me. So I finally turned the light on, grabbed a bunch of protective stones such as a black tourmaline, onyx, tourquise, jasper kambaba, hematite and I put them under my pillow replacing that damn sodalite. Then the room energy finally calmed down, whether it was a placebo effect or it really works. I then finally fell asleep not worrying about any other energies as I knew they couldn’t pass the ‘wall’ anymore. But when I woke up I was pissed how come something could still bother me and pass my personal protection zone if I’m such an important angel?? Why am I not protected enough?? It’s like discovering that you had all those protection systems up doing well for 40 years and somebody breaks in the ‘house’ nevertheless. Who dared? Who’s responsible for such a security breach?

I do not understand this current leg of the ascension path and I’m not taught where I’m heading either. I asked for my mission, goal, whatever and everything remains silent. Simply put, I don’t like it now.

Finally, as a being of fire (seraph/fire Dragon) I‘ve been deeply disturbed by all these dramatic events which had taken lives of so many people lately. Such energy of shocked, burnt people enters the collective energy rapidly and they bring havoc to empath’s energy 'radars’. A death in fire is the most terrible for the body, the nerves. I kind of remember this from past lives (a witch or a Cathar, misjudged by the catholic church) or at least it’s very easy to me to tune in how it feels :/. During only 2 months, a few to hundreds of people have died in UK (Greenfell tower fire), Germany (today’s bus accident), Portugal (villagers captured on a road by raging bush fires), Pakistan (a fuel tanker explosion), and there was some other accident in the East as far as I’m concerned but that’s what I read on the news, there are many more which I don’t read (and I avoid reading news overall) but tese poor souls enter the global consciousness and they bring their fears which energy is hard to transmute. Fire misbehaves lately and is hard to control. Even when I lit a candle I see as if the fire wanted to leave the wick and walk its way. Fire is very unpredictable this year thus it needs an extreme caution to handle it. This is not the Universe’s will and not the Gaia’s clean up either. This is some evil energy, or a manifestation of people’s anger and frustration which materializes in the least expected places, against innocent people. An energy of a thought can make things happen. I don’t feel people who were killed in water, landslides or tornadoes, but a death in fire always shatters my inner balance, and I see no cure for this, other than to just to wait when it passes, usually after a day or two.

I have no need to write and read about twin flames lately because I’m waiting for things to clear up and crystallize myself too. It feels there’s some work to do yet but most of it will be processed by my soul/spirit who know what to do. When I tap into an article about current energy or twin flames, I skip because my higher self doesn’t want me to read or verify myself with other people’s experiences. Since many new people was forced to awaken this year, some of these articles completely do not apply to us, old asses who had been on the path for many years now. We have to trust our own guidance (the heart/higher mind) only from now on. My body needs to stay in a good shape and choose easy tasks to preserve own energy for ‘later’ but all the rest will be handled by my soul/spirit as it knows what, how and when. If once there’s pure bliss and extreme intimacy, and closeness with the twin, the other time I’m left to my own devices and I’m clueless to what I should be doing so it feels like being hit in the head. Glued then separated. It’s maddening. It’s been a reconfiguration of everything who we are and the outside world but I hope we’ll be satisfied in the end, together!

Until next time, and thank you for reading! :)

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winrepl0l1l0 · 6 years ago

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The Tramp Joke

There was this tramp ("bum" in the U.S.A ?).

One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard

a cry for help from a nearby lake.

He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle

of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water.

Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and

slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking

the ice further and he carried her back to the road. He took off his coat

and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down.

A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out

but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a

multi-millionaire.

"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughter

into the warmth of the limo. "Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash,

perhaps you could help me out"

"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.

"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have

ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"

"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in

my whole life - that will be plenty".

"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your

money?"

"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll

buy myself a holiday (vacation)"

"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his

chauffeur to drive home.

"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes

to the town, to buy himself a holiday.

He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes

up to the desk. "I'll have one holiday please!"

"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile

"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.

"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"

"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"

"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl

incredulously.

"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll

probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"

The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest

filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement - she finds an old

file.

"Well you'll never believe it" she says to the tramp, back in the shop.

"I've got you a holiday - its a super-duper, ultra-hyper, mega-economy class

round the world cruise - and it costs ten dollars"

"Yippee", exclaims the tramp, "I'll take it"

The tramp takes the tickets and, shouldering his dirty old pack, he heads

out the door to hitch-hike to the port where the ship is waiting.

A few days later he arrives at the port, and there in the dock is the

most beautiful, most elaborately decorated, most expensive looking ocean-

going liner he has ever seen.

Amazed at his luck and good fortune, he slings his pack over his shoulder,

and marches up the gangplank.

"Get off my ship ye dirty bum!" shouts a voice, and an irate captain storms

down the gangplank and kicks the tramp down onto the dockside.

"But I've got my ticket!", responds the tramp, "Super-duper, ultra-hyper,

mega-economy class, and I want on!"

Hardly believeing his eyes, the captain examines the ticket and admits that

our man the tramp is correct.

"Ahem, well O.K.", says the captain, "But you can't come on just now,

I don't want my first-class passengers seeing you. Come back at midnight

when it's dark and I'll let you on then."

So the tramp finds himself a quiet spot among some cargo cases on the

dockside, and he falls asleep.

"Psst", says a voice, waking him with a start. It was the captain.

"Hurry up, it's midnight, let's get you to your cabin"

The tramp toddles after the captain, along the dockside, up the gangway,

and onto the ship - and what a ship!

The tramp had never in his wildest dreams imagined luxury like this.

First they went doen through the first class level:

Oriental carpets - 6" pile.

A genuine Rembrahndt on every wall.

Leave your shoes outside for cleaning, and the steward brings a new pair.

24 ct gold trim everywhere.

Then the second class:

As above, but perhaps the carpets were only 3" deep.

and so on...

3rd, 4th, 5th class,

down past the casinos,

and the ballrooms,

down through the crew's quarters,

down through the galleys, and the engine rooms,

until finally,

at the lowest point in the ship,

against the very hull,

the captain opens a watertight door into a tiny 7' x 4' cabin, with

a hammock, a bedside table, and an alarm clock.

"Sheer luxury!" exclaimed the tramp, "A room of my very own."

"I'm glad you like it" replies the captain, "but there is one more thing..."

"Your class of ticket only allows you to use the facilities of the ship,

at night - when all the other passengers are asleep. So that's what the

alarm clock is for. Enjoy your cruise."

Well the cruise began, and the tramp had a whale of a time. Sleeping

by day, and up on deck at night - he loved it.

One-man-tennis, clay pigeon shooting, more food than he'd ever seen...

Then one morning, a week or so into the cruise, the tramp decided he'd

have a go on the diving board of the pool. He had just enough time for

one dive before he had to go below.

He climbed up the ladder, stepped onto the board tip, bounced, and dived....

...and what a dive...!

Perfectly poised in the air, he hit the water without so much as a ripple.

Now unknown to him, the captain - who'd grown rather fond of the poor old

tramp - was standing watching this.

"That was amazing!" exclaimed the captain, "Where did you learn to dive like

that?"

"Eh, well I've never actually dived before" replied the tramp.

"Well that's incredible!" says the captain, "I've never seen ....">

He broke off.

"Hey, I've an idea", he started again.

"How would you like to train a bit, and we'll put on a show for the

other passengers. I'll pay you, and you can then afford to go first

class!"

"It's a deal!" says our man.

For the next 3 weeks the tramp practices like he's never practiced.

Back-flips, front-flips, triple-back sideways axled dives, you name it

he tried it.

Then one morning the captain came to talk.

"O.K. I'd like you to stay in your cabin for the next 2 days. We're

going to erect a high diving board for you."

"O.K." agreed the tramp.

Two days passed, and the big day arrived. The ship was humming with

excitement. Everyone wanted to see the mystery diver.

The captain had provided the tramp with a new pair of swimming trunks

and he wore these as he stepped out onto the sun-beaten deck.

Gasps of astonishment from the crowd, and a hushed awe.

Then the tramp turned to regard the diving board.

Higher than the eye could see, towering up and up, rose a slender column

of metal.

"Well tramp" said the captain, shaking his hand, "Let's see what you can do."

And with that the Captain handed him a walkie talkie.

And the tramp began to climb....

up and up ...

higher and higher ...

below him the ship grew smaller ...

up and up ...

on and on ...

past a solitary albatross ...

and still higher, till the ship was but a speck on the ocean below ...

and on

still further, till the ocean grew dim, and the earth itself began

to shrink...

and higher, ever higher ...

on and on ....

past our moon ...

and on ...

and mars ...

and on ...

higher, and higher , through the asteroid belt,

and on and on towards the diving board,

... past the outer planets, until...

... finally ...

... on the outermost reaches of the Solar System ...

... he reached the board.

He climbed on top and radioed the captain .... and then...

. .' '. . . . .

he jumped . .

. . . . :

slowly at first :

but speeding up :

: : :

faster, and faster

speeding past Pluto

and the other outer planets

through the asteroid belt:

past Mars,

and the moon,

faster,

and faster,

faster - ever faster,

and by now the earth was growing large in the distance,

the oceans and land masses grew clear,

faster, and faster...

past the albatross,

faster

double-back somersault,

and he could see the ship, tiny in the distance,

hurtling down now, he posed, ready for the final 500 feet,

Down on the ship the crew strained their necks,

"I CAN SEE HIM!" yelled a passenger, "LOOK!!"

The tramp streaked down towards the pool, did a last triple flip, and dove...

NOT A RIPPLE ON THE SURFACE!

DOWN THROUGH THE WATER!

SMASHED THROUGH THE POOL BOTTOM!

DOWN THROUGH THE FIRST DECK!

SMASHING THROUGH THE SECOND!

DOWN!

THROUGH THE CREW'S QUARTERS!

THROUGH THE ENGINE ROOMS!

SMASHING THROUGH HIS OWN LITTLE CABIN!

AND DOWN THROUGH THE STEEL HULL OF THE SHIP!

STILL DOWN...!

DEEPER,

DEEPER INTO THE MURKY DEPTHS,

...

.......

TILL..........

SMASH! into into the sea bed, sinking a 37' shaft in the process.

Desperate for air he struggle out of the shaft, his lungs bursting he swam

frantically for the surface.

Up and up, desperate, gasping....

Out of the water, up the ladder onto the deck of the ship, into a throng

wild with acclaim.

HERO! WONDERFUL! AMAZING! BLOODY GOOD SHOW WHAT!

And handing him a heated towel the captain spoke, as a hush fell over

the crowd.

"Well tramp, I have NEVER seen anything like that, EVER.

That was the most STUPENDOUS piece of diving I have ever seen"

The tramp blushed.

The captain went on:

"But tell me; most amazing of all is how you survived smashing through this

boat after you dived - how did you do it."

And the tramp looked at the captain, and the crowd and replied modestly:

"Well you see....

....I'm a poor tramp...

...so you must understand ...

... I've been through many a hardship in my life"

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gsmatthews95 · 6 years ago

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Thumbs up for serbia

Yo yo yo yo yo. What is up?? I am here in flesh but in writing on the blog as I forever immortalize my thoughts and conceptualise my memories in literature form for future generations and future me to revisit. So I left y'all on my butterz night bus to Belgrade last week. I finished writing mid journey, may I say the journey got all the more eventful. I couldn't sleep until the last two hours, great. 1 coffee at 6pm screwed me sadly, very bloody annoying. But yes after I left you we got to the border. Coincidentally I'd actually forgotten about this journey till I just revisited the last blog, so lucky I looked back. The border was long. A long night time border crossing in a bus? Shock. Never had one of those before. Probably some of my least pleasant experiences holidaying. They are always crap and stressful. This was no change. Firstly we waited on the Hungarian side for maybe 1.5-2 hours. I was wired the whole time cause of the coffee. Lucky I had an audiobook to help my sanity. Then the actual border. The Hungarians are apparently really strict on their borders I've been told. Something that was definitely not the case coming from Poland as I didn't even need my passport. This was the issue. My passport was in my big bag as I'd assumed (rationally given pur previous border crossings) I wouldn't need it and I didn't want the FAFF of having it on me. Mistake number 1. Someone said "use your drivers licence that'll work". It didn't work. I was sent back to the bus. I clambered into the hold to find my passport and had a border guard shouting at me in Hungarian. Cheers that'll help. The bus driver telling me I was holding the whole process up made me laugh given people were still getting their passports checked when I got there. Then an aggy look from the official as he begrudgingly let me thru. The next step of the farce. Getting back on the bus and giving the conductor pur passports. She, then having had them checked AGAIN brought them back, gave them back to people randomly. She couldn't say half the names and was left with like 5 at the end of unclaimed passports hmmmm. It was a fiasco. After that the journey was smooth to Belgrade where we continue our journey. Belgrade. A city steeped in history. A people so affected by war and strife. A culture so intertwined with that of its neighbours. Belgrade was a funny city. So parts were very grand, some were grey and grim from the communist era while others were of a more modern style. This was all testament to the rocky, turbulent history of Serbia. All of which we learnt on the free walking tour. Something I havent done in some time and our first in eastern Europe. I the guide was knowledgeable. He also like to talk. A lot. Lots of Information. May I pose a question of you? How much info is too much? Can there be too much? I think this may have been that occasion. It was a lot to take in but on our first day it was perfect to set the scene for this highly individual country. We enjoyed it greatly. But in the immortal words of Craig David re ee wind. When the crowd say no selecta. So I reverse. Our day began with the checking in at 6:30am urgh. Lucky we could do so but we had no bed so we slept on the sofas for 3 hours. Nice. To wake up in our new hostel. It was an odd one. Some very friendly nice people. But many... Different people. A few crazies and a few odd ones. The hostel was like a big apartment so it was cosy and sociable but like I say... Weird and a bit dirty. The day began though with a wander to the market where we saw people selling bits and bobs and some things you can only imagine they found in their attic or in a skip... No deal thank you. The greatest excitement from this journey however came as I found out how much the old Serbian men enjoy a game of chess. They love it. They'd all be crowded around a pair of players. Excitement in the air. Cursing. Cries of cheating. And jubilant smug grims when one had made a power move. With my recent redound love of chess I was engrossed. Safe to say Alina was not. I wanted to stay, to challenge these goliaths of the game to a match. It was intimidating and Alina may have killed me so I shrank away. Content with merely spectating this spectacle. To our surprise and joy this became commonly found throughout belgrade as these testosterone fuelled beasts fed their egos through brain straining sport. Immense viewing. Another little tit bit. You can buy 2 litre plastic beer bottles in Serbia. A beautiful creation up there with sliced bread, the wheel, sky plus and tiki taka football. They were a staple of our time in Belgrade and being so large you had to drink them fast before they got flat and warm. Fine mum I'll neck my beer. Our second day was buff. The sun was shining and we went to the beach. Huh? The beach? But Serbia land trapped? Some of our keen geographers may have been asking these questions. Very well done if you did, you get a cookie. However, being on two major rivers has allowed Belgrade to create an artificial stone beach. And being a stones throw from the city it is a perfect little get await. Ill be honest, it was busy. Still space to bathe tho and have a wee dip in the water. There were restaurants, bars, shops etc. We made do with our bread and dips tho. A good little day out and a chance to top up the tans, ideal. Our third day was uneventful as we took in the city and city and just vibed. Dont know what that means? Neither do I. I made it up. It was chill so we were all ready for our trip to nova varos and the countryside the next day. So you may have realised as keen readers that we have spent much time in big cities. We have. And we wanted to get out so we sent to brdo in nova varos in west Serbia. Off the beaten track so as to speak. This consequentially, is where I have been writing from although we are now in the bus to Bosnia woohoo. Edin dzeko here we come. Nova varos is tiny. A skiing town in winter and a chilled hiking town in summer kind of. We have been in the wilderness staying in a cheap home stay with a lovely woman who didn't have a word of English. It was very enjoyable. We wandered around towns and to a monestry In the mountains. It was very atmospheric and like I say, nice to get out of the cities. Yesterday was the day we saw a river. The uvac river. The home to the 3m griffin vulture. Ooooo. Wow. Big bird. There were also tonnes of eagles gliding around. They were all sick. The tour had us two and a polish couple and consisted of floating down the river as it meandered through the high up mountains. To describe this river it looked like your cliché geography GCSE meandering river as it swerved back and forth through these mountains. Buff. A very picturesque area that can only really be appreciated from up heigh. So we climbed. There was a platform maybe 200-300 metres up (it was hard to work out through the guides very disjointed english.). It was a hot climb as the temperature rose and the sun came out. 20-30 mins later we were there. Wow. What a view. AND we have the pictures to prove it ahahah. It was lush. We had a beer (a homebrew we think) at the top and then wandered down for the rip to the cave. It was a big cave. Very big. It was also very cold. Nicknamed the ice cave. Why? Two reasons we think. Maybe cause it was so cold. Or maybe cause of the vast numbers of stalagmites and stalactites all over the cave. They were very impressive even if we still can't work out which is which. This brought the end of the cruise as we sauntered home in the boat, a good little day out only marred by the scenes that morning. God that was a FAFF. We had decided to go the day before. Were told the time and price. Perfect. The man came the next morning and shock, the price had changed. There were taxi charges, entrance fees, another price because other people had pulled our of coming. Hmmm. I dont believe you. This whole encounter was made all the more tricky by his speaking no English. He spoke to a lady in Serbian. She translated to alina in German and she translated to me in English. Like a giant game of Chinese whispers. Long and stressful. After deliberation we went for it. Annoyed but it still wasn't expensive. Just like having a slight sour taste in your mouth. So you may be questioning the title. Bit weird. Is it relevant or has this kid just lost his imagination. It was actually alinas first contribution to this beautiful blog something she has been craving since the blogs glorious rebirth. So yes the last few days in nova varos have marked our reignited love for hitchhiking. Having only done it sporadically when I was 18 to 20 its something I'm glad to be doing again. Everyone here is very friendly and usually more than willing to pick us up. Since we've started there's only been one journey we had to walk having done it 6 times in the last few days with the most recent coming from a taxi driver as he said no. Stopped 10 metres up the road and reversed to let us in. Good lad. Like I say its been fin, saved us time and money even if we cannot communicate with anyone as none of them speak any English. Just lots of waving hands forwards and repeating the destination we need. A successful start in our eyes. The funniest was as we were stood on the side of the road hailing down anyone we could and a big Porsche zoomed towards us. We saw. Stuck our thumbs up. Hoped. Prayed. He speeds at us. We have little confidence with his speed. No signs of slowing down. He's past us. F off mate we think. I fume "of course he didn't stop, no one in a Porsche will ever stop". We look over. He's stopped. What's happened? Has he hit a child? No he'd found his conscience. He reversed and let us in. What a man. What a car. It was really comfy and spacious. We enjoyed it. But yes this is now a new chapter in our lives. The chapter of free lifts and hitching. Yay. Enjoyable. Here's to lots more. Anyhow I've rambled for ages and my fingers hurt. Writing this on my tiny crap phone is long. But for you guys I'd do anything. Love y'all. I'll be back in like four days. We won't be in Bosnia too long. Ciao (Thats bye in Serbian). G

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indy-diary · 7 years ago

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Entry 8 : Superstar Libra (Day 2), First Time Outside Thailand!

20 Mar 2018

I’ve never been out of my country before. This is really my first time. Despite Malaysia and Thailand are right next, it still counts. There are actually many differences between the two countries. This 4-day 3-night cruise has only one stop in Thailand, but two in Malaysia. This is the very day that my feet will touch a different country’s land for the first time...

Morning in Different Land

Sun had risen and the new morning came. The internet and phone signal were gone since an hour after leaving Phuket. Me and my brother slept early and woke up quite early. After we did the morning routines, we went straight to Pool Deck. Mariner’s Buffet was open and there was potato wedges, chicken sausages, Nasi Lemak, soup, bread, cereal, and some other food along with drinks. We sat outside instead of inside due to the number of people and better view and weather here.

(I really love this picture for some reason)

There was water, and more water. My brother and me watched the sea scrolled as we eat our breakfast. We have yet to arrive to the first stop so there wasn’t anything to see yet. But last time we saw the ship position from display screen, we were nearer to Malaysia than Thailand. It was clear that we were no longer in our homeland.

The breakfast was great! They taste really good and I can have as many as I wanted. The cost is included in the ticket and unlimited refill… this is awesome! Another good thing about it was on that morning, no one was noisy. This is a kind of breakfast I don’t often have. Normally at home I eat toast or sausages, and nothing else until lunch. It was so different between the two places.

(First things I picked up. Delicious!)

After that we spent some time walking around, in our rooms watching the TV and the ship position screen. We then learned that there IS internet available. They have cellular wifi available, at some price. 48 Ringgit for 24 hour usage, but there’s actually other packages like social medias only, or whole cruise package. But since we needed it only for two days, we choose 24 hour package, and buy another on next day. To save money, we bought only one package and swap logins when one wants to use because only one device may be logged in at a time.

The interior of Superstar Libra sure looks luxurious and gives off a simply relaxing vibe. It may not be the most luxurious cruise ship ever, but it’s decent and affordable. With most guests being Asians, it didn’t feel so alien on board either. Walking around always made me feel great, and so did staying in the room. Everywhere felt comfortable… except in toilets because they lacked bum gun TwT At least a bidet would be nice but they’ve got neither! :( It’s kind of difficult to not have washing water… or could it be because I’m used to bum guns at home?

Here’s some images before moving on to the next section

(Just a little part of Deck 8 that has great view, and a plant)

(Those sure look comfy, but would feel weird to sit directly in front of elevators and watch people)

A Town Named George Town

Some time have passed since breakfast. My brother and me were in our room when Superstar Libra approaches port. As we came nearer and nearer to the port, other ships start to appear. There was many, but at that time, only one seemed to be passenger ship which was this very Superstar Libra. Other ships I saw was container or oil tanker ships. After a while, Libra stopped moving on her own and a tugboat came. The tugboat dragged her to the port then left.

Libra then arrived at the port and properly docks, then passengers were given some procedures to get down. Those who wish to disembark will collect passport while those who were up for a tour or free strolls have different things to do. Buying a tour has to be paid and registered, but “free and easy” is being on your own, but no charges.

(Many many more small to large ships are around)

(They’re small, but they’re super strong!)

After the gangway gate opened, passengers were allowed to leave the ship. It was near noon, but we ate too much breakfast and didn’t feel hungry at all so we decided we would tour before coming back to eat. With that, we showed our access card to the crew at the gangway gate and they let us onto the land.

Soon, we arrived at the building. The building has signs in Malaysian (and I can’t read them lol). At least there were pictures or English along so it’s more understandable. I actually had never been to Malaysia before and I had no idea what to do. I also never read about Malaysian tourism places so I was completely lost. My brother suggested asking tourist information or something, but this was what we found at the port itself..

(Nice logo, but where did people go??)

On upper floor, all counters were empty. No one was there at all. Not even money exchange or receptionist! Me and my brother looked at each other and followed the crowd. We then came across the tourist map of this town on Penang Island… a town named George Town. (Just how many George Towns are there in the world???)

We took picture of the map and planned our visit. Then we walked some more to go out of the port building. The sunlight outside was harsh, but it was cool in shades, much cooler than shades back in my home region. It just make me wonder why.

(It looks big and we probably don’t have time to visit all that)

Strolling through the town and the lanes of the town, we saw many interesting things. The buildings seem to be made from plaster, and all of them were neat and clean (barring some broken parts). The different style of architecture I don’t see often made me curious about this town. The zebra crossing on the street is also different. They’re mostly located on the corners of intersections instead of being put in frequently used spots like my familiar places. I admit, there’s a lot of things I’ve never seen before, and that includes street vendor-free area. Back in Thai towns, street vendors are very common and can be found at almost any day, any time.

The unfamiliarity of this town made it interesting to a person like me. This is my first time going out of country. I want to visit so much more places in this town, but the skin-hurting sunlight sure limit my endurance.

(It’s so neat and clean)

(I actually like this look of this. It’s just a few meters from the port)

We kept walking around the town, but not too far. Visited some shops and exploring lanes. We got ourselves some snack and interesting things to see everywhere we went. We also visited the 7-11 convenience stores to buy some water. The sun was so strong we tire out extremely quickly and unable to be avoided because shades aren’t everywhere.

The paths under the buildings were quite narrow but weren’t too narrow to walk. It was a bit difficult when someone walk toward us, but wasn’t so much of big deal. There wasn’t much dirtiness or junk to ruin the view and mood either, but something clearly bugs me. Where are all the trash cans??? Up until this point, I have yet to see ANY trash can at all. Where do Malaysians of George Town throw away their garbage when they’re on the streets?

(It’s cool here, cool as in, both great and not hot)

Having finished exploring nearby areas and ended up in a different lane, we opened the map. City Hall was our next destination so we took some more walk and reached there in no time. The City Hall looked beautiful in my eyes. It was so clean and neat. There were also trees near the town hall and places to sit. It was great to take a break from walk right there, thanks to nice shade by trees and cool wind that blows from the sea.

By staying under the tree’s shade, I began to see the birds. It was because they were making noises directly above me, so I noticed their presence. Apparently they were crows, and they make caw caw noises. Then something just came to my mind…. I saw no pigeons. Absolutely no pigeons was seen. It was strange how there wasn’t any, considering it was most common urban birds.

The City Hall wasn’t so far away from a historical site, Fort Cornwallis. My brother wanted to see the British-built fort so we took a little walk there, only to find the surprise… The fort was closed for repairs ;w; It’s sad we can’t see the fort this way.

Disappointed with the fort, we walked off from the barred areas and saw a building. Its design is very familiar to us. It looked like a roof for local food stalls, and we were right. Under the roof there were tables and food stalls. The looks of it look almost identical to the same type of thing in Thailand, but more organized.

(Everything stays under the roof and it’s neatly organized inside too!)

Various stalls were inside, which also means lots of different food to select from. We were hungry and thought of trying out local food for once, so we went in and look through the selection. By that, I mean looking at each stall’s menu. Among the more noticable and memorable stalls, there was local steak, Char Koey Teow, and variety stalls. It felt so much like at home. The atmosphere was also almost identical, yet somewhat different.

Me and my brother wanted to try some local Malaysian food, so we ordered Ayum Nasi Goreng. We initially had no idea what it was, but when it was served… it became clear. It was simply, fried rice! It surprised us so much because we thought it would be some fancy Malaysian traditional food, and even more so when we ate it. That dish of Ayum Nasi Goreng taste very similar to local fried rice at our home. However, we still prefer our Thai style and taste. Perhaps because we’re more used to that too.

(To be honest, it feels like I’m not far from home)

Unexpected Visitor

Satisfied with no longer being hungry, we headed back to the ship. We were actually tired from walking around so we’d want to rest. On the way back, I saw a huge building that wasn’t there before. I pondered myself several times that it wasn’t here before and it’s so large. Only then it came to me… that it is no building, it’s a ship! She was taller than trees and any building around her. I didn’t realize she was a ship until I took a good look at the design and found her funnels!

(Just how big is she???)

Upon getting back to the Superstar Libra, we went to her sun to take a clear look at the other ship. On her stern, her name is printed and it reads Mariner of the Seas. Definitely… a Royal Caribbean International ship! The naming pattern of “X of the Seas” is one of their trademark, and on her funnel, the company’s logo is there.

From Libra’s stern, I felt that Mariner is much much larger. She was taller, wider, and most likely heavier too! Unlike Libra, Mariner has glassed balconies for most of the window rooms. Mariner seemed superior to Libra in every way, but with her ticket price being much higher as well. From what I have read, all ships of Royal Caribbean International’s “Voyager-class” have ice rink inside their ships. Mariner, belonging to that class, probably has it too. Every sight of her makes me imagine the amenities and facilities inside, which I will never know if I will have chance to see it.

(Mariner is just so huge from any angle)

I noticed the clouds and thought it was going to rain. The wind felt wet and it was windier than when we first arrived. Although, my brother said that it won’t rain. The lighting wasn’t so bad during the time, except the cloudy side. I took some more pictures of Mariner along with Libra, and then happened to see something nice up in the sky and snap a photo of it.

(It’s like a clash of darkness and light. My most favorite daytime picture so far)

After getting back to our rooms, we spent some time resting and playing games. During that, I also looked up information of both Superstar Libra and Mariner of the Seas to compare. Libra is 211 meters long while Mariner is 311. The height and gross tonnage are also different so it was clear why Libra looked so small. The level of luxury were also different. Libra was rather basic for a cruise ship, but was good enough for local and short runs. Mariner was totally on another level.

During sunset, Libra left Penang port and we get a clear side view of Mariner. Passengers on Mariner appeared to be watching Libra leave. Meanwhile on Libra, a lot of people came to sun deck to take a look and photos of Mariner. As tugboat dragged Libra out of the port… Mariner looked more distant and smaller each minute. Libra faced her port side to Penang island, which is coincidentally west. The sun was just above the island and gave a pretty backlight image. I took that chance and kept a photo of Penang Island and Mariner of the Seas in backlight before Libra fully left the island and sail the empty seas once more.

(It’s one of the prettiest sight I’ve ever seen)

Night Food & Drinks

We didn’t do much that evening after Libra left the port. Since we ate lunch late, we also ate dinner late. It was almost restaurant close time, but we were lucky to enter before they closed it. We tried Four Seasons and Mariner’s Buffet previously, so this time we’re trying another one that was in the “cost included” list. The final one in the list is named Ocean Palace. We used access card to get in and sit. Unlike the other two, we didn’t get to choose food this time. They serve all food listed in the menu, and most of them were Chinese style food. It wasn’t very satisfying, nevertheless, they taste good.

(I don’t really like the food, but the interior is pretty!)

After we finished eating, went to pool deck. We walked around the sun deck and occasionally stopped to catch wind. At one point, we were asked by another passenger to help take pictures for them. Initially we were facing the sea and the passenger asked us with “excuse me…”. Without hesitation, we turned towards her. Her response was very surprising. She suddenly let out a barrage of Chinese as she saw our faces. We’re not Chinese!! D:<. We politely told her to tell her request in English, and she did so. We happily helped her out, and then faced the sea again. My brother facepalmed and said he wanted to jump the ship. Then we did some more jokes. Still, I don’t think I look very Chinese.. But well, my brother might. He looks a lot like one, in my opinion.

On unrelated topic, I really like the lights on the ship. At some angle of sun deck, the pool deck looked like a little heaven in middle of sea of darkness. The pool deck is brighter than sun deck, probably because aside from railing, sunbath chairs, and some entrance to the ship, there’s nothing there. Pool deck on the other hand, was full of tables and the pools.

(My brother commented that this photo looks like J. J. Abrams movie)

We were rather thirsty, so we went down to pool deck and sat at Captain’s Order bar. They serve mainly alcoholic drink, but I’m legal now so I don’t think it’s a problem. Also, my brother was with me so I don’t really fear much. My brother ordered me a “Cowboy Coolers”, which is a drink consisting mainly of orange juice and syrup. It didn’t even taste like it has alcoholic mix, but I think it probably has. Last time I tried weak alcoholic drink it wasn’t so good like this. My brother himself ordered “Wild Wild West”, a lemonade + vodka drink.

We sat and enjoyed our drinks for a while. It was calm and cool. The wind blew across the ship but not too strong where the bar is. The atmosphere soothe my body and soul. Me and my brother then spent the rest of the time chatting and joking about things until we thought we should return to the room.

(Left : Cowboy Coolers, Right : Wild Wild West)

(Pool deck is probably loveliest deck on Superstar Libra! You’ve got food, drinks, and pool!)

And so… second day spent. It was very fun to be on this ship and I even get to go down and explore Penang. Even though it was just small part of the city, it was a great experience. I get to see new things and try new things. It was also relaxing and full of surprises in the same day. I’m sure there will be more surprises and things to see on the next day!

Anyways I’m sorry that this entry is delayed. I encountered some real life problems and other issues, like temporary writer’s block. I can’t write anything out from my mind, even though my memory of the place was still clear. Anyways thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the next episode!

#indydiary #travel #journal #photography #cruise ship #Superstar Libra #Star Cruises #Malaysia #Penang #Geroge Town #Food #ship #Mariner of the Seas #mar2018 #2018

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mhmmdnadeem · 8 years ago

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Tramps holiday

Possibly my favourite joke of all time.

A long read, but worth the journey if you can spare the time...

There was this tramp. One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.

Without a moment's hesitation he ran out onto the ice and slipped and slided over to a little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and carried her back to the road. He took off his coat and wrapped her in it then began looking for a car to flag down.

Coincidentally the father drives up. "How can I ever thank you sir?" he says after putting his daughter into the warmth of the limo. "Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

"Ah, well..." stammers the tramp, "... uh, I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out."

"Oh dear," says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten pounds - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe."

"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten pounds is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that'll be plenty."

"Ten pounds," thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!" and off he goes to the town to buy himself a holiday.

He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk. "I'll have one holiday please!"

"Ahem, which holiday would sir like?" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.

"Oh, any holiday I don't mind, anything up to ten pounds," replies the tramp.

"TEN POUNDS! You'll NEVER get a holiday for ten pounds," says the girl incredulously.

She goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement - she finds an old file.

"Well you'll never believe it," she says to the tramp, back in the shop. "I've got you a holiday - its a super-duper, ultra-hyper, mega-economy class round the world cruise - and it costs ten pounds."

"Yippee!" exclaims the tramp, "I'll take it!"

A few days later he arrives at the port, and there in the dock is the most beautiful, most elaborately decorated, most expensive looking ocean-going liner he has ever seen.

"Get off my ship ye dirty bum!" shouts a voice, and an irate captain storms down the gangplank and kicks the tramp down onto the dockside.

"But I've got my ticket!", responds the tramp, "super-duper, ultra-hyper, mega-economy class, and I want on!"

"Well okay," says the captain, "but you can't come on just now, I don't want my first-class passengers seeing you. Come back at midnight when it's dark and I'll let you on then."

So the tramp finds himself a quiet spot among some cargo cases on the dockside, and he falls asleep.

"Psst," says a voice, waking him with a start. It was the captain.

"Hurry up, it's midnight, let's get you to your cabin."

The tramp toddles after the captain, along the dockside, up the gangway, and onto the ship - and what a ship!

First they went down through the first class level: Oriental carpets - 6" pile. A genuine Rembrandt on every wall. Leave your shoes outside for cleaning, and the steward brings a new pair. 24 ct gold trim everywhere.

Then the second class: As above, but perhaps the carpets were only 3" deep, and so on...

3rd, 4th, 5th class, down past the casinos, and the ballrooms, down through the crew's quarters, down through the galleys, and the engine rooms, until finally, at the lowest point in the ship, against the very hull, the captain opens a watertight door into a tiny 7' x 4' cabin, with a hammock, a bedside table, and an alarm clock.

"Sheer luxury!" exclaimed the tramp, "A room of my very own."

"I'm glad you like it," replies the captain, "but there is one more thing... Your class of ticket only allows you to use the facilities of the ship, at night - when all the other passengers are asleep. So that's what the alarm clock is for. Enjoy your cruise."

Well the cruise began, and the tramp had a whale of a time. Sleeping by day, and up on deck at night - he loved it. One-man-tennis, clay pigeon shooting, more food than he'd ever seen...

Then one morning, a week or so into the cruise, the tramp decided he'd have a go on the diving board of the pool. He had just enough time for one dive before he had to go below.

He climbed up the ladder, stepped onto the board tip, bounced, and dived...

... and what a dive...!

Perfectly poised in the air, he hit the water without so much as a ripple.

Now unknown to him, the captain - who'd grown rather fond of the poor old tramp - was standing watching this.

"That was amazing!" exclaimed the captain, "Where did you learn to dive like that?"

"Um, well I've never actually dived before," replied the tramp.

"Well that's incredible!" says the captain, "I've never seen..." He broke off. "Hey, I've got an idea", he started again. "How would you like to train a bit, and we'll put on a show for the other passengers. I'll pay you, and you can then afford to go first class!"

"It's a deal!" says our man. For the next 3 weeks the tramp practices like he's never practiced before. Back-flips, front-flips, triple-back sideways axled dives, you name it he tried it.

Then one morning the captain comes to talk. "Okay, I'd like you to stay in your cabin for the next 2 days. We're going to erect a high diving board for you."

"Okay," agreed the tramp.

Two days passed, and the big day arrived. The ship was humming with excitement. Everyone wanted to see the mystery diver. The captain had provided the tramp with a new pair of swimming trunks and he wore these as he stepped out onto the sun-beaten deck. Gasps of astonishment from the crowd, and a hushed awe. Higher than the eye could see, towering up and up, rose a slender column of metal.

"Well, tramp," said the captain, shaking his hand, "Let's see what you can do." And with that the Captain handed him a walkie talkie. And the tramp began to climb...

up and up...

below him the ship grew smaller...

on and on...

past a solitary albatross...

and still higher...

till the ship was but a speck on the ocean below...

and on still further...

/ till the ocean grew dim...

and the earth itself...

began to shrink...

past our moon...

and on...

and Mars...

and on...

higher, and higher...

through the asteroid belt...

and on and on towards the diving board...

past the outer planets, until...

on the outermost reaches of the Solar System...

he reached the board.

He climbed on top and radioed the captain...

and then...

.' '. . . . . he jumped. . . . . : Slowly at first, : but speeding up, : : : faster, and faster, : speeding past Pluto, : and the other outer planets, . . . . .

through the asteroid belt,

past Mars,

and the moon,

faster,

and faster,

faster - ever faster,

and by now the earth was growing large in the distance, the oceans and land masses grew clear,

faster, and faster,

past the albatross,

double-back somersault,

and he could see the ship, tiny in the distance,

hurtling down now, he posed, ready for the final 500 feet,

Down on the ship the crew strained their necks,

"I CAN SEE HIM!" yelled a passenger, "LOOK!!!"

The tramp streaked down towards the pool, did a last triple flip, and dove...

NOT A RIPPLE ON THE SURFACE!

DOWN THROUGH THE WATER!

SMASHED THROUGH THE POOL BOTTOM!

DOWN THROUGH THE FIRST DECK!

SMASHING THROUGH THE SECOND!

DOWN!

THROUGH THE CREW'S QUARTERS!

THROUGH THE ENGINE ROOMS!

SMASHING THROUGH HIS OWN LITTLE CABIN!

AND DOWN THROUGH THE DOUBLE-STRENGTH STEEL HULL OF THE SHIP!

STILL DOWN...!

DEEPER,

DEEPER INTO THE MURKY DEPTHS,

TILL.........

SMASH!

Into the sea bed, sinking a 37' shaft in the process.

Desperate for air he struggle out of the shaft, his lungs bursting he swam frantically for the surface.

Up and up, desperate, gasping...

Out of the water, up the ladder onto the deck of the ship, into a throng wild with acclaim.

"HERO!" "WONDERFUL!" "AMAZING!" "GOOD SHOW THAT!"

And handing him a heated towel the captain spoke, as a hush fell over the crowd.

"Well tramp, I have NEVER seen anything like that, EVER. That was the most STUPENDOUS piece of diving I have ever seen."

The tramp blushed.

The captain went on, "but tell me, most amazing of all is how you survived smashing through this boat after you dived - how did you do it."

And the tramp looked at the captain, and the crowd and replied modestly: "Well you see...

I'm a just poor tramp...

so you must understand...

I've been through many a hard ship in my life."

submitted by /u/mrbadassmotherfucker [link] [comments] from Jokes http://ift.tt/2l1BJbo via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Jokes

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winrepl0l1l0 · 7 years ago

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There was this tramp.

One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.