#‘it’s like a shower strider you love showers’

[soriastrider]

dirk and jake in fontaine

[weirdmageddon]

wait people actually used to think about davejade this way??? ive always been under the impression that dave was the one with the hidden crush. showering jade in his music and his poetry and his art (even sending her physical art in the mail) and being really considerate of her feelings and all that? shit he rarely does with anyone else in early homestuck? he just primarily shows his love through practical actions that display considerateness and quiet love and care instead of putting his emotions on display for everyone. but he definitely strikes me as someone with a childhood crush. hes the one interacting with her with sweaty palms

if yall are thinking jade is the one initially silently crushing over dave who is this stone cold cool motherfucker doing his thing and feels nothing towards her i can see why it would be boring. but thats not the appeal of it lol. he is NOT too cool for her. she is in fact too cool for him (and also more outgoing and can fuck shit up. she is definitely the one carrying him in her strong ass arms).

if youre characterizing dave and jade like in that post you gotta assess your understanding of these characters my man. you fell for it. you fell for both of their superficial masks. dave is not all that cool hes a fucking dork inside actually visible since very early on and we see him dropping the bro strider-irony protégé act and grow into his natural, endearing, peaceful, self-aware self in act 6 after bro’s death and three years on a meteor. jade is a cheerleader for her friends but also hides a lot her negative feelings from others so she doesnt make them feel bad but she can blow up if her buttons are really pushed

[sebbywrites]

Rain (Dirk x gn!Reader)

Summary: Just a cute little one shot of Dirk and a gn reader centered around the monsoon season :)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was raining again. It had been raining for the past week with almost no break, which was unusual for your desert home. Granted, your neighborhood was a good 30-minute drive from the rest of the city in a more mountainous part of town with no street lights and full of hicks, so your house usually got more rain than the rest of town.

You inherited this property from your parents, your siblings had all moved out of state and had lives of their own, so they were content with you taking care of the house. 

You had always liked the rain, given you were raised in a city with very little of it to start with. The smell of the creosote bushes and the sound of the water droplets hitting the desert floor calmed you. 

To keep yourself company, aside from the tortoises that you inherited alongside the house (they weren’t very, uh, social) and your two cats, you adopted an Australian Shepard named Strawberry. Kitty and Karma were skeptical at first, but came around eventually. 

Right now though, you were sitting on your back patio drinking a cup of warm tea by your propane fireplace. It was nice to finally relax from your day at work. Strawberry was curled up at your feet, too afraid to go out into the yard because of the rain. 

Your favorite pair of brothers were supposed to fly in from their Texas apartment next week. As much as you loved the rain, you really hoped the storm system would pass by then.

─── [1 New Message] ───

timaeusTestified Today at 7:27 PM

What are you doing rn?

I Drink Too Much Caffeine lol Today at 7:28 PM

why don’t you ever change your server nickname

i’m on the back porch 

why

timaeusTestified Today at 7:28 PM

So you’re home

Good 

Can you open up, it’s fucking raining out here.

I Drink Too Much Caffeine lol Today at 7:29 PM

W

hat

You and Dave are here???

Fucking

Hold on

─── timaeusTestified is typing... ───

You rushed to open the front door, not really caring what his response was because you already knew. 

You stared at the two blonds on the covered front porch in absolute disbelief. They were both drenched like they walked over in the rain, which they probably did. Rideshare services only ever went to the end of the paved road, which completely misses your house as your street was just dirt and loose gravel.

“.....What the fuck are you doing here?”

Dave slapped the back of his brother’s head, knocking his triangle shades askew (“Dude!”). The exhaustion and exasperation were clear in his voice as he pointlessly asked Dirk if he remembered to tell you their flight was changed. Obviously, he did not.

“Roxy had to change our flight to an earlier one, and this one-” he glared at his brother pointedly- “was supposed to text you about it.”

The rain had started to pick up just as you ushered the brothers into your house. Strawberry didn’t bark at them, luckily, but because she was still only 3 years old she was excitedly jumping and sniffing around.

“Fuckin idiots, you should’ve called me to pick you up, I’ve been home for hours!” you grumble quietly while trying to push Strawberry away. 

Dirk sheepishly while adjusting his sunglasses to sit correctly on the bridge of his nose, “Sorry, (Y/n)...”

“Never mind that, both of you need to go take warm showers. Now.”

“Aye aye, captain!” 

You stared blankly as they ran off in different directions. They had both stayed over enough that they might as well have lived here before you did, so they knew their way around. 

The younger two Striders’ parents were never around because of work, and their older twin brothers (both were only ever addressed as ‘Bro’ so even now as an adult, you had no idea what their names were) were horrible at guardianship. When they were 8 and 10, their brothers finally got legal guardianship over them and promptly moved to your city for college. The boys became quick friends with you at school and would stay the night a lot before they moved back to Texas at the end of the 8th-grade year. 

But enough back story, that isn’t what you’re here for. 

Seeing as your boys were taking their sweet ass time in the shower (probably using up all of your favorite soaps, to be honest), and you hadn’t eaten since you got home many hours ago, you got started making a simple chicken noodle soup.

It was suiting since the dry air mixed with rain for the past week just made everyone cold. Especially since your house was solely tile, apart from the occasional accent rug in some of the (rather large) rooms. 

Once the vegetables and chicken were done, you added the broth to the pot and turned the heat down. Satisfied with how it was going, you turned your attention to their half-open luggage still sitting in the entryway.

You set their things into each of your guest bedrooms for them- who are you kidding, these were their bedrooms; They both decorated them as they saw fit after the 5th consecutive month-long fly-out to visit you. There was no such thing as a guest bedroom in this house. Unless you decided to convert your office space back into a bedroom, and you really didn’t want to do that. Both rooms were furnished with a full-size bed, a desk with a complete setup, a 50-inch wall-mounted TV, and whatever else the two decided they needed in their rooms.

Dirk and Dave returned to the open living space from their much-needed showers to see you curled up on the couch under a blanket eating your soup and watching something on the TV.

You took notice of them, of course, sending them off to get their soup before they joined you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Everyone had long since bid each other goodnight, and yet at nearly 2 in the morning, you sat up in bed abruptly, scaring off your cats who lifted their heads in surprise at your movement. You would usually be found asleep by now, but for some reason, you just couldn’t tonight. Not even the gentle pitter-patter of the rain droplets on your windows could lull you to sleep.

This is what I get for forgetting to buy another bottle of melatonin, you thought to yourself as you pulled yourself out of bed to go brew a cup of chamomile tea.

You just set your cast iron teapot on the stove to heat the water when a phone flashlight nearly blinded you. The owner of said light moved it towards the floor once they noticed you squinting at the brightness.

“Sorry... again,” Dirk chuckled. “What are you doing up?”

His iconic triangle shades were left on his bedside table, leaving you to stare into his bright orange eyes. 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came out here to make some tea,” you stated. “What are you doing up Mr. I couldn’t sleep the entire 2-hour plane ride? If anything, you should be, like, in a coma right now.”

You and Dirk broke the beat of silence with hushed chuckles.

“I guess you’re right,” he said. He looked at the ceiling with a smile, thinking about it. “I guess I was just so excited to come back and it hasn’t worn off just yet.”

You rolled your eyes, taking the teapot off the stove after examining the water with your phone flashlight. You put your teabag in to brew, while Dirk just stared at you with a look on his face that you couldn’t place. Content maybe? He did always say that this house felt more like a home to him than quite literally anywhere else he’d lived throughout his life.

Yeah. Content. It couldn’t be anything other than that, you thought to yourself bitterly as well as sadly.

You had no idea when it happened, or how, but you knew that you had been in love with the orange-eyed blond for some time now. Trying to distance yourself from these feelings only made you feel like shit, like you were keeping a secret from your childhood friend, but you could never gather up the courage to confess to him either. Once again, this is because he was your best friend.

“The rain is still going, huh?” Dirk spoke up, bringing yourself out of your thoughts.

You looked out the window on the backdoor, listening and watching as the rain poured down. It was barely noticeable from where you stood, but you could tell that the wash running through your backyard was flowing.

“It’s been like this all week, Dirk,” you smiled. “Did you even read any of my messages?”

He only hummed in response, accompanied by a quite obvious rolling of his eyes.

“So...”

“So...?”

“Um-” Hello? Dirk Strider never in his life started with an um. Is he nervous- “You can totally say no, but... can I.... hang out in your room tonight?”

Pink dusted itself over his freckled cheeks and his eyes started darting around nervously. He was looking anywhere but at you. You stifled a giggle as best as you could (he still heard it and by god, their laugh is gorgeous) before telling him you didn’t see a problem with it.

Your LED lights illuminated the room when you turned them on before you lowered their brightness to a soft glow. 

“You can sleep in here, too, if you want,” you said when he noticeably jumped at the sound of thunder reverberating through the house. 

“Thanks...”

It was almost 4 in the morning by the time the two of you drifted off to sleep. Half awake, Dirk pulled you close to his chest and tucked your head under his chin as you lay under the covers. Unknowingly, you snuggled into his warm embrace (seriously, he was like a human space heater). 

It all felt so natural to him, like he’d been doing it forever. 

He absentmindedly feathered a kiss to the crown of your head before he drifted off to sleep himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Waking up in Dirk’s arms and the smell of his cologne was a frightening (for 2 seconds while you gathered your bearings) then pleasant experience. It almost pained you to pull yourself out of bed, but given that it was just past 11 am and you had a sleep schedule to keep for work, you had to. You gently removed Dirk’s arms from around your torso and got ready for the day.

You knew that the Striders had planned to be your roomies for a month, and given that your house was beginning to dwindle on supplies you should probably go to the store for groceries. You made a quick list of what you needed to buy before heading out - not without a note stuck on the fridge, of course.

Just as you closed the garage, Dirk woke up to an empty bed. He laid there for a good 20 minutes trying to fight off waking up so he could go back to dreaming, but alas, the morning called.

Dave also staved off his brother’s sleep by making an absolute racket in the kitchen a few feet outside your bedroom door, but I digress. 

“G’mornin’....” he groggily stumbled into the kitchen. “Where’s (Y/n)?”

“Shoppin’, if the rain doesn’ make traffic too bad I’d guess they’ll be home pretty soon.”

Kitty circled around Dirk’s legs, rubbing against him and meowing.

“I jus’ fed her and Karma, fuckin’ whore,” Dave said in irritation. Since Dirk knew his brother loved cats, especially these two, he knew there wasn’t any actual malice behind his words.

“Aha!” Dave shouted in glee, almost startling Dirk off his chair at the island. “I finally found where (Y/n) hid the Life!”

Dave made bowls for the two of them and began pestering his brother about being in your room.

“I knew you had a crush on them but I never took you for a snooper,” he teased.

“I wasn’ snoopin’, asshat. (Y/n) let me sleep in their bed last night since we both couldn’t sleep, and the thunder got bad.”

“And yet I slep’ like a baby.”

“Yeah, well, I got attacked by the fridge full of swords more than you did.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot who never learned not to open the fridge.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Dave looked at his brother seriously all of a sudden, his teasing laughter ceasing near immediately. Dirk glanced back at him in surprise. 

“What?”

“When are you goin’ to tell them?”

“I-” Dirk was interrupted by the sound of the garage opening, and your car pulling in. He glanced at the garage door for a moment before answering his brother.

“Soon. I think.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

That evening, Dave convinced the two of you to have a movie night. Halfway through whatever it was you were watching (Dave picked, it was some indie movie his boyfriend liked), you could feel yourself beginning to feel sleepy. Dirk took notice of you starting to nod off and let you rest your head in his lap; he started to absentmindedly play with your hair, which only made you fall asleep faster.

Not that you could see it, but Dirk was smiling softly with pink dusting his cheeks once more. A few minutes of playing with your hair later, he too began to feel tired. He adjusted the position you were in to where he could lay back on the couch with you held firmly to his chest, your legs tangled together.

By the end of the movie, you and Dirk had fallen asleep cuddling on the couch (Dave was really the only one watching it anyway, so it wasn’t like it was hard not to).

It was late into the night by the time you woke up, still snuggled into Dirk’s chest. Dave had long since turned off the TV and gone to his room to video call Karkat. It was just the two of you.

You inhaled heavily, before gently untangling yourself from the blond’s grasp after a few minutes of soaking in the moment. Your hunger pains trumped cuddling with the man you were deeply in love with.

You had decided to just make dinner for the three of you. The storm started up again as soon as the food was almost ready. You looked out the windows to the back porch, watching the torrent of rainfall onto the desert landscape of your backyard. It was really coming down hard now.

Dirk finally sat up from his spot on the couch to look over at you, unknown to you. He stared at you, completely enamored just at the sight of your bedhead and tired eyes gazing out the window at the rain. 

You caught his gaze when you turned around to grab serving dishes from a cabinet. 

“Good Morning sleepy head,” you smiled. “Dinner is ready, could you go let Dave know?”

Dirk swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly tasting like cotton. Should I..?

“Dirk?”

“Can I... talk to you?” The orange-eyed blond flicked his uncovered eyes from you around the room, nervousness practically oozing from his awkwardly stood form against the back of the couch. 

“Talk to you...?” you mumbled. “Sure, I’ll, uh, grab my shoes and we’ll go outside.”

Dirk took the lead walking out back. He led you down the stone pathway from the porch and to the gazebo. Why did he want to walk out there when it was raining (well, sprinkling now, desert storms die down quickly), you had no clue. 

“What’s up?” You asked. “You seem... weird. Is something wrong?”

Quietly, Dirk lit the oil lamp on the table under the gazebo. Raindrops made a soft pitter-patter, then dribbled down the steel roof. 

“I- this is probably a bit blunt, but I wanted to confess to you,” he once again flicked his eyes around. 

....

“What did you want to confess?”

You could feel your own nervousness start to bubble up. You tried to observe the man in front of you, wanting an answer from his body language for your question. You took note of the raindrops in his spiked, blond hair, and how the light from the oil lamp made his gorgeous orange eyes shine like neon signs in the dark of the rainy night.

He was gorgeous, meaning he was way out of your league, and in no way meant ‘confess to you’ as in ‘I am in love with you’.

Right? Right!?

“I know you know what I meant, (Y/n),” he deadpanned.

You swallowed the spit that accrued in your long moment of thinking, still nervous.

“You.. You love me?”

“I... Yeah, I love you, (Y/n).”

There were no more words that needed to be said. The two of you simply gave each other a look that confirmed the thoughts both of you had. The feeling was mutual. For years, the two of you had been pinning for each other, and finally, one of you had said something.

Dirk moved to put his hands on your waist, his lips barely brushing past yours. “Will you give me the honor of being yours?” He whispered.

An absolute blushing mess, you whispered back, “Only if you’ll let me be yours.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, my love.”

And so, the two of you kissed under the palely lit gazebo in the soft desert rain.

[yifftwiceplz]

do one every ten lines :)

🤝 for a headcanon about a connection with one of the receiver's mutual

big fan of dave (yifftwiceplz) and dave (dj-shitslot) basically looking in a mirror at each other at all times, younger self in awe of "older" self (its just that dj is a guardian / has more responsibility) and older self looking back at younger self fondly. thats the good shit. they dont make shit like that anymore but we do like you pass your 13 year old self on the street and your gut reaction is to light up and say oh my god i love you and your 13 year old self is like holy shit, the parts of myself i always wanted to shine through are right there plain as day, we made it

🌇 for a headcanon about morning- or evening rituals

dave wakes up in the afternoon and mostly just lounges around for a few hours. due to his audhd and dysfunction he cant do Anything in any day unless 1. it was preplanned a week in advance 2. he has his obligatory four hour Do Fuck All time. where mainly he smokes weed and listens to music loud enough you can hear it across the house (even though he's wearing headphones). and then once he feels like a person he'll have breakfast, shower, brush his teeth etc and focus on work

😡 for a headcanon about something that makes them angry

it's so hard to make dave angry. maybe it was easier in sburb but he's genuinely a very happy guy. i specifically decided to RP him after i saw that smile on daves face on the lilypad i thought. my guy can heal now. so mostly any time he gets mad it's probably just that he's overstimulated. which is nebulous and random and hard to predict and he tries to grit his teeth and not show it until he snaps, which isn't ideal but he hates looking sensitive or asking someone to back off him in terms of actual real true anger - i dont think he feels it. maybe for a brief moment if someones attacking his friends - only a moment because immediately following that he's got his body and sword between them

🚗 for a transportation-themed headcanon

this bitch cant drive. bro never drove; they lived at the top floor apartment in a walkable neighbourhood what good would a car do yknow? bro had the hoverboard for any long distance trips actually it would be so moe of him to start skating again maybe i should do that. but anyway mostly he walks everywhere he goes. he FREQUENTLY forgets he can fly because thats like... a super power to him. to be used during a fight. but a long fly doesnt work as well as a long walk to clear your head if you have attention issues and mildly dissociate. hed end up in tennessee

hc + 🚬 for a headcanon about a bad habit

oh boy definitely the drinking is his worst habit. it's well-managed but sometimes gets out of hand which is HARD to recognize because dave does not typo when he's drunk. he says roxy is either weak or faking it. striders in general are high dexterity builds so it doesn't matter if his eyes work or if he's coherent - them fingers are gonna find the keys. but he's also a fun drunk! he and roxy share that trait where you get a little booze in them and it's a little easier for them to laugh and open up and be confident in themselves so dave is really good at playing off being totally wasted with being totally charming. and it leads to people letting him drink more than he should quite frequently. luckily karkat isn't as fond of drinking as he is and has a keen eye for when dave is too far gone

hc + 🎥 for a film/tv-themed headcanon

dave is very passionate about film/tv even with his limited "real" education on it, dude just has an eye for it. good editing / camerawork tickles him to death like in a reality show where the interviewee is oblivious to something and there's a slow camera zoom in... got him seal-clapping and kicking his legs in glee part of the reason he's always so busy and tired (which is hard to see because he's always online and blogging casually - that's just part of his process and he just responds to a couple things at a time) is he's such a perfectionist with his own videos. he will not hire an editor. no one understands his vision.

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Dirk Strider

Page 21

DAVE: holy shit thats disgusting

KARKAT: DON’T BE A FUCKING XENOPHOBE

DAVE: im not being a xenophobe

DAVE: dude you know im not a xenophobe

DAVE: i mean thats what this whole election thing is about

DAVE: having your back when it comes to this reproduction issue

DAVE: well

DAVE: that and the economy

DAVE: lets not lose TOTAL sight of the economy in this critical discussion

DAVE: but im almost as passionate about this troll speciesism thing as i am about the economy which you may not have known is my number one issue

DAVE: my wheelhouse you could say

DAVE: but my other wheelhouse is like

DAVE: giving a fuck about your feelings and culture and shit?

DAVE: dude hey

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: yo karkat you listening?

KARKAT: HEY DIPSHIT, SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE.

KARKAT: I’M NOT IGNORING YOU BECAUSE I’M MAD.

DAVE: what

DAVE: that wasnt what i

KARKAT: I KNOW THAT YOU PERISH LIKE A DELICATE LILAC BLOOM IN THE FUCKING DESERT IF NOT SHOWERED WITH MY VERBAL ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES.

KARKAT: BUT I’M KIND OF WITNESSING THE REBIRTH OF MY ENTIRE FUCKING SPECIES RIGHT HERE.

KARKAT: YOU EVER THINK THAT THIS MIGHT BE A MONUMENTAL MOMENT FOR ME?

KARKAT: THAT I MIGHT BE AWESTRUCK AT THE PURE MAJESTY OF THIS SIGHT?

DAVE: yeah but it is totally disgusting right

KARKAT: I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU

KARKAT: WHAT PART OF THIS IS DISGUSTING?

KARKAT: IS IT THE SLOW DEFLATING OF ITS DISTENDED ABDOMEN?

KARKAT: THE SOUND OF DOZENS OF SEGMENTED LEGS CLACKING AGAINST ITS EXOSKELETON?

KARKAT: THE UNFERTILIZED SLURRY BEING SLOWLY SQUEEZED FROM ITS OVIPOSITIONAL SPHINCTER?

KARKAT: IS THAT IT? IS THAT DISGUSTING TO YOU DAVE?

DAVE: kind of

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: YOU’RE RIGHT

KARKAT: IT’S HORRIBLE

KARKAT: TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I WOULD HAVE GLADLY GONE THE REST OF MY WRETCHED EXISTENCE WITHOUT EVER SEEING THIS.

DAVE: its like when you squish the toothpaste down in the middle

DAVE: only the tube is filled with fetus juice

KANAYA: Im Sorry But I Can Hear You From Down Here

KANAYA: Did You Want To Talk To Me Or Are You Intent On Performing An Impromptu And Very Unfunny Comedy Act On My Front Step

DAVE: oh hey kanaya

DAVE: whats shaking sis

KANAYA: Must You Always Call Me That

DAVE: nah but it does feel pretty rad to say

DAVE: like wow my sister in law is an alien how cool is that

DAVE: i love our awesome planet where everyone is free to form xenophilic family units without fear of government interference or reprisal

DAVE: which is a totally smooth segue into the topic at hand

KARKAT: THAT WASN’T SMOOTH AT ALL.

KARKAT: IN FACT I DON’T THINK IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO RAISE THE SUBJECT WE’VE COME TO TALK ABOUT IN A MORE OSTENTATIOUSLY AWFUL AND AWKWARD WAY.

KARKAT: JUST BECAUSE YOU DID THAT STUPID LITTLE...

KARKAT: ...MOTION WITH YOUR HANDS DOESN’T MAKE IT SMOOTH

DAVE: no see the reason its smooth is because i was the one who did it

DAVE: i got inherent smoothness and its a quality that transfers to everything i say and do

DAVE: also that thing i do with my hands isnt stupid

DAVE: its cool

KARKAT: IT’S THE STUPIDEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN AND YOU DO IT LIKE TEN TIMES A DAY.

KARKAT: WHAT EVEN IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE?

DAVE: im dropping a beat

DAVE: like im using a turntable and scratching one song into another

DAVE: all smooth and shit

KARKAT: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO FOLD LAUNDRY YOU FORGOT TO IRON.

DAVE: dude you have never once in your life ironed a shirt

KARKAT: I AM FAMILIAR WITH THE BASIC MECHANICS OF YOUR EARTH CUSTOMS DAVE.

DAVE: ok ironing is def not earth culture

DAVE: ive seen kanaya iron like

DAVE: a whole bunch of shirts

DAVE: yo kanaya

DAVE: back me up here sis

KANAYA: So This Is About The Election

KARKAT: AH.

KARKAT: YES.

KARKAT: YOU’VE ALREADY HEARD.

KANAYA: I Do Get The Internet Down Here

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

KARKAT: WOW THANKS, ANOTHER VOTE OF CONFIDENCE FROM ONE OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS.

KARKAT: THIS CONDESCENSION IS REALLY RICH COMING FROM THE PERSON WHO DECIDED HER NARCISSISTIC OBSESSION WITH BEING THE ONE TO HATCH THE MOTHER GRUB WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN NOT SEEDING OUR PLANET WITH A STOPGAP SYSTEM OF REPRODUCTION THAT WOULD CAUSE SYSTEMIC SPECIESISM TO OSSIFY INTO SOCIETY FOR 5000 YEARS.

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: hey

KANAYA: This Again

KARKAT: YES, THIS AGAIN!!!

KARKAT: FUCK!!!

DAVE: (uh)

DAVE: (karkat buddy)

DAVE: (remember the game plan here)

DAVE: (we want to get kanaya on our side not alienate her completely)

KANAYA: Karkat

KANAYA: I Acknowledge That There Have Been Consequences To The Decisions We Made Regarding The Foundation Of This Society That Were Not Foreseen Or Ideal

KANAYA: But I Do Not Think It Is Productive To Attribute These Resultant Troubles To A Single Decision Or Individual

KANAYA: It Stands In The Way Of Our Efforts To Address Them

KARKAT: MMNNNRRRGHHH.........

DAVE: (shhhhhh)

KAYANA: You Know As Well As I Do That We Must Present A United Front

KANAYA: Please Do Not Misinterpret My Tone

KANAYA: I Have Nothing But The Utmost Faith In You

KANAYA: While I Know That It Is Difficult For You To Take A Direct Compliment

KANAYA: I Have In The Past Put My Faith In You When The Threat To Our Survival Has Been Immediate And Literal

KANAYA: Its Basically Nothing To Ask Me To Do It Again Now That The Threat Is Far More

KANAYA: *Existential*

KANAYA: Is How I Think I Shall Put It

KANAYA: If We Are Going To Be Polite

DAVE: youre up on all the issues then

KANAYA: How Could I Not Be When It Concerns Me So Directly

KANAYA: Jane Has Been Here To Speak With Me Recently In Fact

DAVE: no fucking way

KANAYA: She Was Quite Cordial As Always

KANAYA: You Know I Do Like Jane

KANAYA: In Some Regards She Reminds Me Of A Friend We Had Who Sadly Did Not Survive Our Time On The Meteor

KANAYA: She Was Unfailingly Kind To Everyone She Met But She Also Happened To Be The Heiress To The Throne Of A Vast And Bloody Empire

KANAYA: And While She Had A Lot Of Opinions On Reform She Had Already Wrenched Some Of Her Power From Our Last Empress In The Traditional Manner

KANAYA: By Which I Mean That Jane Is Perfectly Pleasant And I Believe That She Has Only The Best Of Intentions

KANAYA: But I Cant Shake The Feeling That Deep Inside Her Lurks The Potential For Despotism

KARKAT: OKAY I GET WHY YOU GUYS KEEP CALLING JANE A CRYPTO-FASCIST

KARKAT: BUT FUCKING FEFERI? SHE WAS HARMLESS.

KANAYA: These Things Take Time To Gestate Karkat

DAVE: damn

KANAYA: Power Corrupts In Small Steps

KANAYA: Compromises

KANAYA: Concessions

KANAYA: Appeasements

KANAYA: And Leaders Follow The Example Set For Them

KANAYA: Look At What Jane Has Modeled Herself After Already

KANAYA: I Do Believe Its Important To Consider Precedent

KANAYA: This Is Why I Trust You Karkat

KANAYA: Because You Listen To Advice From Below And Beside You Not From Above

KANAYA: And If Dave Is With You I Trust You Not To Isolate Yourself As You Have In The Past

DAVE: sweet

DAVE: so weve got your endorsement then

KANAYA: Jane Offered Me “A Seat” On The “Board Of Responsible Troll Reproduction”

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK. HOW DARE SHE!

KANAYA: That Is Exactly What I Said

KANAYA: With More Tact Of Course

KANAYA: I Do Understand The Trepidation Considering What The History Books Teach About Alternia

KARKAT: OH, LIKE HUMAN HISTORY IS A FUCKING WALK IN THE RECREATION SPRAWL.

KARKAT: HOW HYPOCRITICAL CAN SHE BE?

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: In Case You Cant Tell I Am Actually Fucking Furious About This

KARKAT: SHE COULDN’T PICK A MORE SUBTLE WORD THAN “RESPONSIBLE”? SHE’S NOT EVEN TRYING TO MASK HER XENOPHOBIA. IT’S LIKE SHE HAS NO FUCKING RESPECT FOR US.

KANAYA: It Is Entirely Thoughtless On Her Part

KANAYA: Our Reproduction Method Is Alien And Unfamiliar

KANAYA: To A Human It Must Sound Monstrous

KANAYA: Uncontrolled Even

KARKAT: WELL OF COURSE

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

KARKAT: BUT YOU DON’T SEE ME PROPOSING FUCKING POLITICAL POLICY BASED ON THAT.

DAVE: dude thats not how pregnancy works

KARKAT: UH DAVE, YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE NOTICED, BUT WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT HUMANS RIGHT NOW.

KANAYA: Yes Dave Check Your Privilege

DAVE: ok

KARKAT: ANYWAY WE NEED TO EXPOSE HER BULLSHIT IMMEDIATELY.

KARKAT: I DON’T SEE HOW ANY TROLL CAN VOTE FOR HER IF THEY HEAR WHAT SHE’S PLANNING.

KANAYA: I Have A Feeling That It Would Sway Many Non Trolls To Our Campaign As Well

KANAYA: I Hope That There Is At Least One Principle We Share As A Planet

KANAYA: Which Is That We Must All Work To Ensure Equal Dignity And Respect For Every Species

KANAYA: Otherwise

KANAYA: What Was This All For

DAVE: you know

DAVE: that might be the magic ticket folks need to hear to wake up about this issue

DAVE: would you be willing to say that exactly but

DAVE: like in front of a huge crowd

DAVE: and also a television crew or six

KARKAT: OR MAYBE JUST IN FRONT OF JAKE ENGLISH?

KANAYA: Oh Dear Has Jane Recruited Jake

KANAYA: That Would Be Disastrous

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass

DAVE: seriously?

KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME!

KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power

KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

DAVE: well

DAVE: she doesnt have him yet

DAVE: but jane is one of his best friends so we gotta approach this with a scorched earth policy

DAVE: give him a whole cadre of sob stories thatll make him feel all manly and heroic for lending his support

DAVE: just gift wrapping babies for him to kiss

KARKAT: TROLL BABIES EVEN?

DAVE: sure that can be part of the deal he can kiss the first natural born grub right on its gooey lil head

KARKAT: WHILE GIVING DOUBLE PISTOLS AND A WINK TO THE CAMERA NO DOUBT.

DAVE: bam

DAVE: thats your reelection billboard right there

KARKAT: LET’S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES HERE.

KANAYA: Of Course Not But This Definitely Has Potential

KANAYA: Have You Spoken To Rose Yet

DAVE: uh no

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: shes

DAVE: whats up with that anyway

DAVE: are you guys uh

DAVE: grub pregnant

KARKAT: DAVE WHAT THE FUCK

KANAYA: No

DAVE: its ok if you are we wont tell

KANAYA: No

KARKAT: DON’T YOU DARE DRAG ME INTO THIS GRAVE YOU’RE DIGGING FOR YOURSELF.

DAVE: cmon karkat dont you wanna be an uncle to a lil bundle of love and unnatural genetic tampering

KANAYA: No

KARKAT: WHAT EVEN GOES ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD THAT YOU JUST PRODUCE THIS ENDLESS, GUSHING SPATE OF ATROCIOUS WORD GARBAGE EVERY DAY?

DAVE: ok stop freaking out im just saying from what i understand of troll reproduction it would be technically possible for a troll and human to

KANAYA: No

DAVE: and with ectobiology anythings possible

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KANAYA: Whatever Put You On This Unfathomable Train Of Thought

DAVE: i dunno its just unusual for rose to brush me off for our annual ecto sibling oversharing session

DAVE: shes been sick for a while

DAVE: either shes pregnant or i got reasons to be worried

DAVE: id be cool with it yknow

DAVE: bring on the rosemary combo grubs

KANAYA: Rosemary

DAVE: like rose plus your last name which is maryan or something right

KANAYA: Maryam

DAVE: yeah that

DAVE: ergo, rosemary

KANAYA: I Hate It

DAVE: the rosemary babies would have her hair and your horns or whatever

DAVE: like when two cartoon animals of different species give in to their lust and have preposterous children

DAVE: fucking adorbs

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

DIRK: Hey,

DIRK: Sorry, but Rose can’t come to the phone right now.

KANAYA: Excuse Me

KANAYA: Dirk

KANAYA: Is That You

KANAYA: Dirk

KANAYA: Why Are You With Rose

KANAYA: What Is Going On

DIRK: Kanaya, I don’t have time to explain right now.

DIRK: John’s doing something vaguely important to the plot again.

KANAYA: Dirk...

KANAYA: What

DIRK: This is gonna have to wait.

KANAYA: Dirk

DIRK: I’m putting you on hold, ok?

KANAYA: DIRK!

[gallantblade]

Oh, this is fun. We could probably spend all day doing this but we'll stick to 5 between two people too for the sake of not bloating the post.

(Asuka on Sayaka)

Sayaka has not showered in two and a half weeks. - 2. This bitch loves water. Only gets a point because he tends to take baths.

If the source media was a musical, Sayaka would be the one character that asks why everyone is singing. - 1. She'd get at least 2 solo songs and 2 duets.

Sayaka is a great artist. - 2. She's not terrible, but she doesn't try very hard.

Sayaka hacks their stats in every video game they play. - 2. Way too damn honorable for that, but she did cheat in the Proofs she needed for Darkmoon Blade in her Dark Souls 3 playthrough.

Sayaka got hit by a bus once. - 4. This fucker has zero self-preservation and only looks both ways when crossing the street out of habit.

(Sayaka on Asuka)

Asuka doesn't know how to say "no". - 3. Saying "no" is basically her favorite thing but she'll do anything if you ask nicely enough.

Asuka bullies kids on roblox. - 2. She doesn't play roblox and she wouldn't bully a kid. But she would bully adults on roblox if we let her.

Asuka uses the word "fuck" like a comma. - 3. Only when she's annoyed. Mostly she swears in German.

Asuka role plays on discord. - 4. They won't admit it but they can and would RP Dave Strider if given the opportunity.

Asuka steals other peoples clothes. - 5. Is this even a headcanon? She still won't give me back one of my hoodies.

Tagging @moonpool-system, @bifauxnenbitch, @monstersdollsandmore, and @hexea but no pressure.

Rating OC Headmate Headcanons

Stolen from @albatris, but using this headcanon generator to make headcanons for us and rating them on how accurate they are!

Rating from 1-5, and tagging 5 who might want to roast their headmates: @last-starfighter, @293production, @troonicorn, @gallantblade, @possumsinpeoplesuits

(Asuka on Hikari)

Hikari sings in the shower. (1 - a Japanese shower is not really a space you sing in. It's a sit-down affair.)

Hikari desperately needs a hug but doesn't know it and refuses to ask for one. (2 - …That… that's me. But also, might've been true in the past, she's not saying, but she's definitely never without one these days.)

Hikari cannot drive. (4 - she never learned. She can drive while fronting, but she's borrowing the brain and body and it's obviously a new experience for her.)

Hikari is oblivous to any and all romantic interest someone may show them. (2 - she has been known to be oblivious, but not for long.)

Hikari is constantly singing for no reason. (3 - she does like to sing and hum, though I wouldn't say constantly.)

(Hikari on Asuka)

Asuka needs a nightlight to sleep. (2 - Asuka needs Hikari to fall asleep. Hehe.)

Asuka would succumb to the fog. (3 - she has no idea what this means, and neither do I, so neither agree nor disagree.)

Asuka knows fnaf lore. (4 - she knows quite a bit! Because she's friends with Cassidy, not because she's played the games.)

Asuka is very good at walking in platform heels. (4 - it's not her preference, but can do it well.)

Asuka had an emo phase. (5 - Asuka is still in her emo phase. Asuka will have to be separated from her emo phase the same way that you wean a kitten - by gradually transitioning her onto a steady diet of K-pop.)

[munsonsduchess]

Lost in the Shadows

summary: eddie is still in the hospital after almost dying in the upside down, but there's something strange about his recovery w/c: 2,485 warnings: blood (it's a vampire fic so), mentions of injury, mentions of wounds, mild stalking behaviour a/n: another sleepover request, this time from @hoppershoe which I am super excited about bc I love me some vampire!Eddie and well vampires in general (you can tell I skew more towards Dracula than the Lost Boys but both are amazing). Not beta'd so if you find a typo or a mistake ... no you didn't. My editor works his lil beans off ok? Ok

(moodboard by me)

The heart monitor beeped softly, rain pelted against the windows as it poured down outside. April showers brought May flowers but all you wanted was Eddie, Eddie who still hadn't woken up. It had been weeks and he was still in whatever medically induced coma the doctors had put him into when you'd brought him to the hospital both of you drenched in blood, Eddie all but lifeless in your arms as you screamed for someone to help,

"Another shitty day out Eds. Almost got soaked on my way here" you sighed softly rummaging around in your bag for the things you'd brought with you today. Some more little things you'd salvaged from the trailer before the gate destroyed everything and a worn paperback copy of The Lord of the Rings that had been a gift on your last birthday, the inscription on the first page told you how much Eddie loved you and you held on to that love now more than ever. 

You were a frequent sight in the hospital, to the point where most if not all of the nurses who came in to check on Eddie knew your name and what you meant to the sleeping boy. At first it had taken Steve and Jonathan literally dragging you away from Eddie's bedside to have your own wounds checked out after almost a week of refusing any sort of care, then the hospital telling you that you couldn't stay the night anymore but you were still welcome to visit during the day and now only at visiting hours. 

You appreciated that they'd made an exception in the beginning, that they'd been so overwhelmed with 'earthquake' victims and one girl sitting at a bedside wasn't causing anyone any extra trouble but now that things were getting back to normal, normal for Hawkins at least, things had to change. Exceptions could no longer be made. 

So you came at visiting hours and you read from whatever book you'd picked up that morning. So far you'd gotten through most of Stephen King's books and now you were moving on to Tolkien knowing it was a personal favourite of Eddie's. The similarities between Tolkien and his friends, Frodo's adventure and your own experiences in the upside down didn't go unnoticed,

"I wonder if this is how he felt, Tolkien, after going off to fight in the war with his friends because it was the right thing to do only to come back scarred, not the same as before. Having to try and go back to the way things were because that's what everyone else is doing but not being able to because of what you've seen or what you've done" 

It felt silly at times to compare the trials of the Upside Down to the living hell that was a World War but you imagined Tolkien would understand, Eddie would understand.

So you opened your book and you began reading where you'd left off the previous evening. It was comforting in a way to know that the Hobbits would always be there, that Strider, Gandalf, Boromir and Faramir would live on forever on the page. That no matter how many times you read the trilogy it would always end up the same. Good would defeat evil, the world would be saved and the heroes would be lauded for the rest of their days. If only it went like that in real life, the government had stepped in and done something so that Eddie was no longer wanted for murder by the police but in the court of public opinion that didn't matter. Hawkins was a small town full of small minded people who once they'd made their mind up about something didn't tend to change it easily. 

The high school had given Eddie's Uncle his diploma, telling the older man that it was in everyone's best interests that the 'whole ordeal' be dealt with quickly and quietly. You'd almost marched down to the high school yourself after Wayne had told you what happened, ready to tear the Principal a new one for his dismissive words. Eddie Munson was a goddamn hero. 

➽───────────────❥

A nurse poked her head around the door after you'd been there for two hours, 

"Time to go sweetheart, I let you have an extra hour but the Doctor is breathing down my neck about rounds" 

"Sure, I get it. Sorry to be a bother" you replied, bookmarking your page and leaving the book on Eddie's bedside table, "I'll see you later Eds, Henderson's coming too of course" you placed a kiss on his temple and willed yourself not to cry at how frustrating the situation was. You couldn't do a damned  thing for the man you loved but sit by his bed and read silly stories he might not even be able to hear.

"It's ok honey, you aren't bothering anyone. If it was up to me I'd let you say but Doc O'Neill is a real stickler about rules" the nurse, Doris, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder as you reached the door, 

"Is he at least getting better?" you asked, "is he going to wake up soon?" 

"Well his wounds have healed, physically anyway. Which lemme tell you I didn't think they would have healed so fast but every morning I come in to check and they're healed just a little bit more. They're gonna scar some but I'm sure that's the least of your worries" 

You just nodded. If his wounds were healing then that meant he was getting better and if he was getting better there was a chance Eddie would wake up soon,

"Still it's strange" Nurse Doris said, "I don't think anyone thought your young man was gonna make it, it took an awful lot of blood transfusions because he kept losing blood so quickly. I don't know how the hospital kept up with it all. I don't think they ever restocked because there's so much blood missing from the stores" 

You paled. You didn't really want to hear how close Eddie had been to bleeding out on the operating table. It just reminded you of that sickly sweet smell that clung to your skin no matter how hard you scrubbed in the shower, the feeling of Eddie's weeping wounds as you dragged him into the emergency room that night. Thanking Nurse Doris you left the hospital and headed home, you weren't working these days since the town had been mostly destroyed when the Gates had all merged and as a result most of downtown was being rebuilt including the mall apparently. Hopefully minus the soviets in the basement trying to open a portal to another dimension. 

You flopped down on your bed as soon as you entered your room, shutting the door with your foot. You'd try and rest for a few hours before picking Dustin up for evening visitation, he would probably be mad you read to Eddie without him there but the little shrimp would get over it. You knew that reading helped him as much as it did you. 

➽───────────────❥

"Disturbing scenes this evening as here in this quiet suburb a tragedy plays out. The bodies were found mutilated and drained of blood, authorities say they have no suspects but this reporter wonders if this brutal slaying is the work of a satanic cult" 

The TV in the waiting area of the hospital continued playing the news as you collected the snacks from the vending machine and headed back to Eddie's room. It had been a couple of weeks since your chat with Nurse Doris and Eddie was looking a lot better. He was filling out again, there was some colour on his face and his wounds were all but totally healed, 

"You're gonna have some gnarly scars when you wake up" you smiled brushing some hair from Eddie's face, "it's gonna look totally metal" 

You watched his face. Hoping for some sort of reaction but found nothing, it was wishful thinking that he might come around just from you calling his scars metal. That was all you seemed to do lately, wish and think. 

After visiting hours ended you headed straight home, there had been no Dustin to drop off this evening because he'd gone around to Mike Wheeler's place to spend some time with his friends, when he'd spoken to you on the phone he'd sounded so guilty you almost cried. It was no life for a fifteen year old to spend his every waking moment after school in a hospital, you were happy he was spending time with his friends. 

The house was dark when you got in. Your parents had left you a note saying they'd gone to a town hall meeting and would be back late, there was a dinner in the microwave if you wanted it. The thought of food made you sick so you just went straight upstairs and fell into bed. It was all you could do to keep your eyes open, you hadn't been sleeping great since the battle with Vecna and every time you closed your eyes you saw those bats ripping Eddie into pieces, heard Dustin screaming for help. In your worst nightmares Eddie didn't make it, you had to be pried off his cold dead body by Steve or Nancy or Robin, dragged back through the gate as they left him there in that awful place. 

You woke with a start, you could swear there was someone in your bedroom. Feel a presence watching you, staring at you, carefully your hand reached for the baseball bat Steve had given you the previous summer after the fire at the Mall and the ordeal with the mind flayer, it didn't have nails driven into it like his did but it was solid aluminium so the nails wouldn't be necessary if it collided with an enemy. 

You slipped out of your bed as carefully as you could and inched towards where you could feel the presence, the room was pitch black and you knew where all the squeaky floorboards were so if there was someone in here they wouldn't see you coming. 

A shadow moved out of the corner of your eye and you didn't think, didn't hesitate, you just swung. The bat however did not make contact with the target and instead a hand flew up almost quicker than your mind could perceive it and caught the top mid swing, 

"Jesus Christ! You could have killed me with this thing!" a familiar voice cut through the darkness, your knees buckled, 

"No" you whispered, "it's a dream, it's just a bad dream" 

"It's not a dream baby. I'm here. I'm really here" 

The figure stepped into the centre of the room and was bathed in the light coming from the street below, that same bushel of curly hair, the long limbs kitted out in a pair of dark wash jeans and a black shirt,

"Eddie?" you sobbed, "oh my god eddie" you threw the bat down and rushed him. He was real, you could feel him in your arms, smell him, he was really here,

"Sorry it took so long baby, I wasn't strong enough to leave the hospital" 

"Did they discharge you? When? Why did no one tell me?" you had a hundred questions, what was going on? The doctor never told you anything when you'd been at evening visitation, surely if Eddie was fit enough to leave the hospital someone would have told you something!

Eddie went rigid in your arms. His entire body frozen like a statue as he unpeeled himself from your embrace, 

"It's not really their decision" he said, "I had to see you, just one last time" 

"Eddie you're scaring me" 

"I'm sorry baby, I am, I didn't mean to do it, I was just so hungry" 

Eddie backed away from you, retreating further into the darkness. Like he didn't want to be seen, least of all by you,

"Eddie, what's going on?" almost as if this were a dime a dozen horror movie the light of the moon shone in through your open window and illuminated Eddie's figure. 

His ears were slightly more pointed, skin much much paler than you remembered, his eyes once a beautiful deep brown chocolate were rimmed in red almost as if he'd been crying. What was most shocking of all was the flash of something sharp and white you saw when Eddie tried to speak to you again, 

"Don't look at me!" he hissed, he never wanted you to see him like this. He was a monster now, those bats had done something to him and now all he wanted was to feed. You'd seen your fair share of monster movies, read all the books, you knew what this was,

 "Why are you embarrassed? You’re beautiful, don’t you see that?" you stretched out your hands for Eddie to take, pulling him closer to you so you could examine him up close, "well this is a shocking turn of events"

"I think you're understating what's going on here by a lot" Eddie furrowed his brow at you, "baby I've hurt people, I'm not safe to be around" 

"I will decide for myself what's safe and what isn't" you told him, "Mina didn't run away and neither will I" 

You leant up slightly on tiptoe to place a kiss against Eddie's swollen lips noticing just how hot his skin was against yours. You certainly hadn't expected that, but then Eddie Munson never did anything you would expect.

As if driven by some primal thing inside him Eddie dug his fingers into your hips and pulled you closer to him. His brain was screaming at him to take you, taste you, you smelt fucking amazing and he bet you tasted even better. Those pretty veins just under the skin, how easy it would be to tear one open and just watch as the crimson liquid ran down your neck, staining your pretty white shirt. 

He pushed you away in an instant. No. He wouldn't give in. He'd already hurt people, he wasn't going to hurt you,

"I can't - I won't - You -" he couldn't bring himself to say it, to form words when his brain was this clouded by bloodlust so instead he did the only thing he could think of. He jumped out the window.

You ran after him but Eddie was already gone. You thought you saw something in the night sky, something with a pair of huge batlike wings but the moon had gone again, covered by clouds. The same clouds that obscured Eddie from your view. 

He was alive. Eddie was alive. Well Eddie was a vampire but he wasn't in a coma in a hospital bed anymore.

You would get him back. You would be together again. No matter what.

You would cross oceans of time to be with him.

Taglist: @pillow-titties @eddiesmutson @prettyboyeddiemunson @eddiemvnsonss @hellfireeddiemunson @that-lame-ghoul9000 @ches-86 @boomhauer @flashyourgreeneyesatme @xbreezymeadowsx @slytherinintj13 @wheaty-melon @inluvweddiemunson @lucciaa9 @shenanigans-and-imagines (if you're scored out it means tumblr won't let me tag you properly)

[kinkmom]

Concealed identity incest is definitely my fave, I love when they have the realization while they're orgasming

That's a very good time to have the realization. The other side, realizing it's your brother just as he's nutting in you, is also very good. >:3c

Anon number two, you really had to put it in the worst possible way but ok. :'I I've got the noncon variety here:

One is Dirk, drugged so out of his mind he doesn't remember where he was and what he was doing before finding himself tied to a bed in spread eagle and tightly blindfolded. Not an ideal position in any way, but he's a bit too out of it to get properly scared. At least not yet. Someone is in the room with him, not speaking a word, but while blinded his senses are way heightened, so when the bed dips under the other person's weight he's ready to gather as much identifying info as he can. Definitely a man, his body feels lean but heavy, so he's likely tall. Big and warm hands, timid yet curious touch. He has a stubble and probably has bangs. His scent is familiar somehow, Dirk is sure he knows this person, but from where...? Trying to get him to talk isn't working, but the little sighs of pleasure he lets out when touching him are better than nothing. And when the man grabs Dirk's jaw and kisses him, a tongue piercing clinks against his teeth. All the subtle little clues come together and Dirk gets the worst, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Dave." he states, rather than asks and the man on top of him freezes.

Depending on whichever way you want to play it, Dave could lose his cool and blurt out something, or keep Dirk guessing if the freezing was just confusion about being called by someone else's name while committing a serious crime. The rest of the scenario has Dirk much more vocal and distressed, trying to appeal to his brother's empathy. :3

...It would definitely be pretty funny if it wasn't Dave but some random dude who just happened to use the same cologne, have the same smoking habits and have somewhat the same features. Like, "...Your home life must be pretty fucked up if you thought I was your brother, I'm so sorry dude. I actually don't want to do this anymore, take care. :("

The other scenario I've been turning around in my head like a microwave plate is the Dirkette out on a riverside trail in the evening, I drew couple of pictures of it a while back. The Striders are out somewhere remote in a nice cottage to spend the summer and Dirkette likes to take walks by herself, the area is safe and there aren't many other people around. Dave obviously knows where she goes and when, so it's easy for him to cook up a plan to fulfill his assault fantasies. He can easily get ahead of his sister by car and enter the trail at some other point and lie in wait, properly disguised. And when he does show himself Dirkette knows better than to stand around when a guy in all black and his face concealed appears on a remote nature trail. Despite Dirkette being fit, Dave's got longer legs and he eventually catches her, easily having his way with her and escaping the scene just as fast. He drives his car a bit further away, changes his clothes and freshens up the best he can. Just in time to recieve a call from badly shaken Dirkette to come pick her up.

Dave plays easily the worried big brother, he's still jittery from what he's done, but like this it seems like protective fury. She's an awful sight, white dress muddy and bruises forming on her arms, hair messy and expression distraught, but relieved to see her brother. Seeing his sister cry like this tears him in two opposite directions at the same time, but he's more than ready to comfort her, have her in his arms, take her home and care for her. She doesn't resist when Dave tells her to take a shower (get all that pesky DNA evidence off while Dave hides his clothes to get disposed of later). He offers to call the police, but Dirkette has already decided that it wouldn't do anything, who would believe a guy in all black and wearing a balaclava suddenly appears out of nowhere and rapes her? She'd rather go to sleep now, worry about all of it later... Dave gets her a plan b and anything she wants.

A day or two later Dirkette needs something from Dave's room, opens his closet and a bag falls on her. Out flops something black and a pair of sunglasses in a style Dave doesn't use. She picks up the black thing and holds it out in front of her. It's a balaclava. Her blood might as well be battery acid as she puts the two and two together, the shades fit right on the face of her attacker and there's other clothes in the bag and...

"...I was going to throw that out today." Dave says, standing by the door uncharacteristically serious. He pushes the door closed behind himself and turns the lock, never taking his eyes off his sister. Now that she knows, might as well take another round or two. Dirkette drops all she's holding and can only take steps back deeper into the room, panic clouding her mind. She tries to bolt and jump across the bed, but that only leads to Dave pinning her down right where he wants her. Dave, in his usual style, starts monologuing, apologizing, pleading her to play along because he doesn't want to hurt her, telling how much easier it would be if she just let this happen, how much he loves her and how it breaks his heart to eventually lose her to someone else, how he could take care of everything for her if she let him, how good he can be, how desperate he's to have her and how sorry he's for fucking everything up just for this.

It could go either way, Dave just raping his sister there again while she either lies motionless or tries to scream and scratch him the best she can, or Dirkette convincing him to give her time to come to him (kind of) willingly and be incredibly gentle with her. The last option also allows for some lovely lingerie or something sheer to please her brother. :3

[applestorms]

okay i took a shower and thought about this a bunch more so a couple sporadic additional reflections:

one: homestuck is surprisingly coherent for such a long & convoluted story, which i think in large part can be attributed to the fact that a lot of hussie's process for writing seems to be based around creating rules for the world and then sticking to them. this is what leads to the callbacks, both in terms of pictures/positions (dave/jake/tavros lying on the ground) and words (blank like a blank and blank on your blank), but it also shows up in other areas (john's dad only ever speaking through notes, typing quirks, etc.) and is what contributes to a lot of homestuck's Vibe that is so difficult to get across to people who haven't read it before. it's also what allows for an incredible number of fan theories, as you take basically any repeated image in homestuck and extrapolate meaning from there (see the entirety of malo's blog for the application of this to somewhat horrifying ends)

two: the idea that the kids' fetch modi can be read as representations of how they think works better and better the more that i think about it and i kind of love that? to go through the first four kids:

john: starts w/ the stack modus & very few cards: very basic, he can only focus on a few things at a time and kinda lets every new thought drag him around (adhd john headcanon is winning). queue/array are basically the same thing, and combined they really sum up how sporadic his thoughts are. he's very in-the-moment, in a classically prospit-dreamer way.

rose: if we're to understand the structure of homestuck as a whole as evolving off of itself like i mentioned before, the tree modus could maybe be interpreted as representing rose's intuitive understanding of the story as a whole. also could show how rose's thinking is very organized, particularly in how if you take away the root item/idea the whole branch falls apart and she has to reorganize (thinking of grimdark rose's arc).

dave: there's a lot you can get from the hash map modus, actually. the fact that the name of every item is encoded could reference the typical strider Facade that he is basically forced to uphold living under bro and layers of irony that cover sincerity w/ those boys. the fact that items are ejected so easily could be a reference to his constant freudian slips that are also a product of those same layers of facade, or how dave's thinking is almost more structured than rose's in a way with new ideas violently replacing others? can't ignore the fact that he literally has a giant "potentially dangerous" eject-all button on the back too.

jade: 12 separate fetch modi. the intellect of the harley-englishes is something that flies under the radar a lot because of their outward personalities. iirc a lot of emphasis early on is put on how confusing/mysterious jade is as a character, though that is later explained as being a product of her visions from prospit and the secrets she is thus forced to work around in conversation. anyways, quickly glancing through a lot of the individual fetch modi reveals that they're basically all games; specifically, mostly multi-player games (monopoly, yahtzee, pictionary, etc.) adapted slightly so she can play it alone. jade's loneliness is emphasized a lot later on in the comic, particularly in the post-retcon timeline (and pesterquest, if you wanna believe in that), but i don't remember how it shows up earlier on. guess i should pay attention to that once i get to her introduction.

alright,

i am well in need of a proper homestuck reread by this point, it's certainly been long enough since i went through the comic as a whole instead of just skipping around to different acts and conversations. to anyone following me rn who would like to avoid possible post spam about this, i'll be tagging everything with "#astronaut reread" so feel free to filter that. dunno if it'll be that spam-y though tbh, i'm trying to be more careful and take my time going through each page and image to really Pay Attention this time round to make sense of all of the theories/analysis i've been reading lately, but that may also make my liveblogging posts longer so. idk we'll see how this goes

initial thoughts: i've always been drawn to the emptiness of early homestuck, the whole aspect of the kids shitting around in their rooms doing basically nothing of real importance (ignoring hs's love of callbacks) feels very true to the experience of being a teenager in the last few decades. it's quite slow story-wise, of course, but it genuinely does set up a lot of the story later on (john's posters all foreshadowing/inspiring later plot points, etc.) and the vibe is just. man idk, i've seen people criticize act 6 for being slow in that nothing really happens since all the characters are just Waiting, but reading through the very beginning again that almost feels more true to the core of homestuck, or at least where it started. and i like it, sometimes it's nice to just slow down, even though i get the frustration w/ that later in the story after the plot has so much more baggage. but more reflection on that later.

john is an interesting character on a meta level in how he represents the most basic entity in homestuck: the first kid, upon which all other kids evolve off of, but what's more interesting about that fact to me is how his original Home plays into that character. maybe i'm biased by nostalgia, but (A1:82) is such an interesting page, it's like the first point where the comic hints at taking itself more seriously by marking just how empty the space surrounding john is, houses all copies of one another and far apart along the streets. not to mention the wind running through the windchime, perhaps another instance of foreshadowing/inspiration? hussie mentions the idea of vriska being tied to the image of the sun that page ends on in the commentary notes, troll gods not yet conceived of but looking down and watching all the same. honestly all i can think of is a section from the start of ch2 of the zhuangzi:

Master Dapple said, “My, isn’t that a good question you’ve asked, Ziyou! Just now I lost myself. Do you know? You’ve heard the pipes of people, but not the pipes of earth. Or if you’ve heard the pipes of earth, you haven’t heard the pipes of Heaven.”

“May I ask what you mean?”

“The Big Lump belches breath and it’s called wind. If only it wouldn’t start! When it starts, the ten thousand holes begin to hiss. Don’t you hear the shsh-shsh? In the mountain vales there are great trees a hundred spans around with knots like noses, like mouths, like ears, like sockets, like rings, like mortars, like ditches, like gullies. Gurgling, humming, hooting, whistling, shouting, shrieking, moaning, gnashing! The leaders sing ‘Eeeeeeh!’ The followers sing ‘Ooooooh!’ In a light breeze it’s a little chorus, but in a gusty wind it’s a huge orchestra. And when the violent winds are over, the ten thousand holes are empty. Haven’t you witnessed the brouhaha?”

Ziyou said, “So the pipes of earth are those holes, and the pipes of people are bamboo flutes. May I ask about the pipes of Heaven?”

Master Dapple said, “Blowing the ten thousand differences, making each be itself and all choose themselves—who provokes it? Does Heaven turn? Does earth stay still? Do the sun and moon vie for position? Who is in charge here? Who pulls the strings? Who sits with nothing to do, gives it a push and sets it in motion? Do you think it’s locked in motion and can’t be stopped? Or do you think it’s spinning out of control and can’t slow itself down? Do the clouds make the rain? Or does the rain make the clouds? Who rumbles all this out? Who sits there with nothing to do and takes perverse delight in egging it on? The wind rises in the north—now west, now east, now dilly-dallying up above. Who huffs and puffs it? Who sits with nothing to do and blows it? May I ask the cause?”

(translation by norden & ivanhoe)

perhaps that's fitting with all the talk of transformation & flexibility/adaptation in that chapter.

you really can't get away from the names "homestuck" and "s(u)burb" with this beginning to the comic. john, as the quintessential homestuck kid, trapped in his house in the empty suburbs, stuck not because of any physical boundaries/walls, but perhaps because of a lack of them. massive roads and sprawling suburbs that make it impossible to get anywhere on foot is a pretty classic image of modern america, so john's desire for breath, for movement, makes sense in that regard. homestuck has always been most appealing to me in how it doesn't shy away from reality, as messy as that engagement often is, and this beginning feels like it gets at some of that emotional core that homestuck started with. it's immediately followed by a joke about pissing/shitting in the mailbox too. classic.

[team-council-two]

hi hello :D hope y’all are having a wonderful day-

thank you so much for making this blog because holy shit it’s gonna be so helpful <3

how do you say “Jesus Christ” in French ? context being it’s an exasperated exclamation

1. Many thanks - Aschen

Always happy to help! Now shower us with prompts and questions :) - Ray

Aw hey, thanks a ton - Cosmas

alpha here !! have a nice day too ! Personally, I'm glad you think this'll be useful. I just hope you and other people alike will be ready for how fuckin utterly disgustingly verbose I am, as expected of the person of this blog assuming authority on questions regarding spy (and perhaps what little scout could hope to have of french), and I am wishing you to manage to extract some glimpses of useful informations from my endless blabber still. (i also would like to apologise for my... sporadic use of ' and caps. i unfortunately have spent a good part of my life imitating dave strider's typing style, for i am the mandatory homestuck fan per project.)

onto the point !

well, what a simple yet interesting question, which yet easily unfolds into quite the lot of considerations to ponder !

so see, i am already forced to explain a little french thing known as our special relationship with religion, or as i fondly call it, our hellbentness on loudly frothing at the mouth whenever the church and catholicism is mentionned and our tendency to enjoy concepts such as the guillautine and the séparation de l'état et de l'église (chuch state separation for you English speaking friends)

This love for our république and révolution influenced us culturally a lot. In short; we do not refer to god for much or anything, including for the use religion based cusses, simply because we were hellbent on removing the catholic church from as much of our life as possible. It wasnt just royalty ! (we had a toast in the honor of the english queens death btw). But, because there always is a but, these cusses and the like still exist in french, and Spy is still someone who lives around americans a lot. so im assuming hed do the same as me, aka pick up a lot of language habits that youd usually not develop as much. this DOES include using religious based speech despite it all. A common consequence is, even if you don't say oh mon dieu/mon dieu a lot usually, well… Live long enough in America, and you will. But, because of course, there's always a but ! we do this because they have strikingly similar connotations ! Both can be used for surprise, fear and exhaustion alike. So. Let me actually answer this.

First, Jésus Christ is how you say it in french but it's pronounced completely different, like jeh-zus creest. Second, that said its not one i'd quite use interchangeably, at least for this case. You see, not only it sounds awkward as fuck in French and would be a real tongue twister to say in the middle of an English sentence (Ray's post on switching from Russian to English being hard also applies to French), it also would be that French uses this one a bit more restrictively : it's a thing you say more for surprising situations rather than quite exhaustion. We can but it's not our first choice. (also, on a side note, doux Jésus, lit. sweet jesus, is precisely for pleasant surprises too, as well as fear bound surprise. On a similar vein, the exclamation "Jesus !" will more often than not be better translated by "Christ !", but it really is. um. a nun/old time thing. It really is not common.)

Ironically mon dieu/bon dieu would likely be more fitting, bon sang (bloody hell ? Except that it's just. literally good blood.) but only if you follow it with a full mocking sentence like "bon sang, you are so fucking stupid it baffles me !…" or something like "bon sang, mais c'est quoi ce bordel ?" for full on, jesus christ what is this shit ? yknow. you even can use bon sang de bon soir. This whole thing reads as much more firm and almost angry compared to what you want, likely, tho. The absolute fucking peak of tired exhaustion, which is what I assume you're going for ? a standalone "mon Dieu mon Dieu mon Dieu mon Dieu…" Complete with head shaking and rubbing your temples. Bonus for being a classic movie reference (le grand restaurant, any Louis de Funès fan here ? he might pop up a lot in what i refer to). "Doux Jésus de doux Jésus de doux Jésus…" also works the same, minus the cool reference. A good ole "oh putain" for when you realize sth is going fucky is good too, the classic "merde/et merde" also is commonly adviseable.

There are many options because despite Ray's insistance that French cussing is weak compared to Russian one, we do have an entire art of cussing a lot, cussing in specific ways and cussing in stupid and artful ways. please do not hesitate to provide more context and/or the paragraph in which this pops up. but overall ? since your audience will be in its majority either american, or french people used enough to american english, i wouldnt worry too much about jésus christ not being understood or noticed as an "error" despite its use being a tiny tiny bit different. This is overall nitpick. but hey ! Guess that's what we are here for.

[qsmp-slime]

Tell us about Homestuck! /gen

Vi tried reading it a few years back but couldn't click with it.

– Quackity 🎲

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH M Y god okay. ok. mutuals prepare for usch cringe on main.

okay so i know the whle joke is like, homestuck is massively convoluted and confusing and it IS. it so is. however the simplest way i can put the plot:

four human kids - john egbert, rose lalonde, jade harley, and dave strider - are kinda introduced in a normal day for them. the comic starts on john's birthday, april 13, in 2006, specifically, where he's excited because he is getting a beta of a new video game, sburb, in the mail, and convinced his friends (the other three kids) to do the same. (other kids are varying degrees of excited about this. dave thinks its stupid as hell, as he does most things at this point, rose is mildly intrigued, etc.)

a bunch of random shit happens throughout that is GOING to make it incredibly convoluted to explain so i wont currently. its also worth noting right now, all four kids live in varying points of the earth - john lives in washington, dave in texas, rose in new york, and jade.... somewhere vaguely on a pacific island. i dont think an *actual* one is ever stated, and she and her grandfather live alone *on* said island, so. yeah. but relating to this, the main dialogue throughout a good large amout of the comic take place through a chat client, btw.

after you get acquainted with the kids and see the bullshit that is their daily lives, then Fuck Shit Happens. aka after all the bullshit, they manage to actually start the game.

and it Ends the Fucking World. /srs

yeah, so, the game is magically fucking linked to real life, anything done in the game affects the actual, real world environment the kids live in. this culminates in, alongside the game mechanics, a fucking meteor shower that eventually ends the world.

(all the kids end up entering the "medium", which is the word the game itself takes place in.)

oh yeah and theyve also been getting vaguely-harassed by various mysterious characters throughout this that call themselves "trolls".

these trolls are literal aliens, an alien species actually CALLED trolls. they live on a planet called alternia, which is a fuckin.. idk would dystopia work? its fucked is what im getting at.

they are ALSO playing THEIR version of the game, sgrub, except theres twelve of them - one corresponding to each zodiac sign (and, in the comic, each zodiac sign thusly corresponds to a blood color / caste.)

eventually the sessions link up and the kids and trolls actually have to try and get along for five goddamn seconds to create a *new* world. nope, not save theirs! make a *new* one.

theres a bunch of other shit and game mechanics throughout but thats the general gist of the story?

honestly we havent finished the entire comic and our personal favourite things to talk about are the worldbuilding / game mechaics of sburb and stuff. we're helping our partner make a homestuck au for lifestealsmp and we are having the time of our fucking life we love this shit. there is so much to talk about in regards to what makes the characters and stuff and what about them effects the world and everything else.

[paradoxkinspace]

i kinda wanna try to get a kin assignment because that sounds fun. im an INTP and autistic. gender is fake. being kin assigned eridan ampora was how i got into homestuck (im not joking). my daddy issues are a given. i have very unpredictable mood swings that can flip-flop whenever where i could be talkative fidgety SUPER energetic and clingy at one moment and spiteful agitated tired and cold at the next but my 3 only friends seem to think im really sweet despite that even if i think im kinda annoying. i love talking though especially about my interests and headcanons. i love reading (but only fanfiction) writing drawing photography and music as well as history nature snow/rain clowns/jesters and bees (i fucking love bees). i love space and the ocean too. i dont have any irl friends and i am chronically online because people scare me. im a pessimist that somehow tries to give everyone i like the benefit of the doubt and has to be talked out of giving my everything to some else even if they dont do barely as much for me because i am blinded by even the littlest of kindness given to me. i take everything way too personally but will never let it show or talk about it because i dont want people to think im a jerk. sleeping and showering are really fucking difficult to do for some reason. i call everyone bro or man or dude. emotions are for pussys we bottle that shit or we die. and everyone i know calls me funny so thats gotta be worth something. satire and irony are great. but the worst thing about me by far is that im sadly a gamer </3

all of this is suuuper biased btw i Do Not like myself lmao

i'd kin assign you:

Dirk Strider

Mituna Captor

Jade Harley

Calliope

Rose Lalonde

Kankri Vantas

Guidestuck Bec Harley

Azdaja Knelax

Daraya Jonjet

💫

[vikkirosko]

I got a request so I headcannon that Dave likes taking baths but rarely does it because of how vulnerable he would be in the bath, so what if the reader tries to make it as comfortable as possible, like standing guard of the door, and give him bath bombs and apple juice so he can relax and enjoy bath time, Thank you, it's cool If you don't want to write this though! (I've never done this before so if I do something wrong I apologize)

Everything is absolutely fine. The idea is interesting, and I will be only too happy to write it =3

🕶 Dave Strider x Reader headcanons Bath time 💿

You learned that Dave likes to take a bath from Rose. Dave himself never told you this, and you didn't understand what the reason was

When you asked Dave why he didn't tell you about his love of taking a bath, he was a little surprised. He didn't expect you to find out his secret

At first he denied it, but then he told you what the reason was. As it turned out, he felt unprotected when he took a bath. So he usually just took a shower

You wanted Dave to be comfortable, so you went to the store. When you came back, you handed Dave two bags from the store. The bag contained apple juice and bath bombs

"What is it?"

"This is a set for the best bath in the world, I bought your favorite juice and a bunch of bath bombs, I didn't know which ones you would like, so I took all the ones that were"

Dave looked at you in surprise

"And at the end of this, so that you definitely feel safe, I will stand behind the door and guard it so that no one can get inside"

You didn't wait for Dave's reaction and pushed him into the bathroom, then sat under the door, propping it with your back. Pretty quickly you heard the sound of water being collected

For the first time in a long time, Dave could take a bath and not worry about anything. He was lying in the warm water, covering his eyes. It was a real bliss

"Are you still there?"

"Of course, sir, your loyal guard is at his post"

You giggled softly, and didn't know that Dave had a smile on his lips

"Thank you for this opportunity"

You just smiled. Were you glad that Dave was finally able to really relax

[4lph4kidz]

For the super cool character headcanons meme, what about Dirk Strider?

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

Disclosure - When a fire starts to burn (C2C remix) - I'll confess I don't know of a lot artists that use samples or turntables, but I like C2C's stuff a lot, so.

Hopsin - Rip Your Heart Out (ft. Tech N9ne) - as featured in House of Dirk!

Ken Ashcorp - 20 Percent Cooler - I... had to. I had to pick a brony song. but I unironically like Discord so instead I picked this one. It's referencing a Rainbow Dash meme specifically, written by a horny weeb musician to boot? C'mon.

SBAHJ the album - well obviously he has the movie soundtracks.

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep – where they’re not supposed to

I hc Dirk having serious insomnia even after losing his dreamself so I'm not sure what kind of sleep schedule he even has? I invoke the rule of comedy to say he might be the type to occasionally pass the fuck out in the middle of whatever he's doing. In his workshop. On the couch. At the dinner table. Mid conversation. Out like a light. Goodnight, sweet prince.

the game they'd destroy everyone else at

Scrabble. Do not play Scrabble with this motherfucker. It's not worth it, he knows academic greek words with fucking x's in them and it's just too tiresome to argue with his pedantic ass about whether or not he's allowed to play them just because they're part of his daily vocabulary.

the emoticon they’d use most often

That stupid custom emoji with the triangle shades. (I love that Hal has his own version that's just the shades, btw)

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

Again, I headcanon Dirk as the more deranged variety of insomiac who gets random bursts of manic energy and tends to makes Bad Decisions when he's sleep deprived enough.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

My clown instincts say this bastard will heat up soda and drink it. My 'reference Detective Pony' instincts say 'healthy soup'.

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

Self care is overrated. You work through that slump until you inevitably crash and burn and die, that's the Dirk Strider way.

Actual answer: I think if Dirk does learn to take breaks and stuff then he'd prefer physical activity, good way to work off energy and get some sweet sweet endorphins. Showers are a good way to self-soothe/stim also.

what they wanted to be when they grew up

Like three billion different things according to his introductory page. But I think his most heartfelt desire was to be a hero, like his brother.

their favourite kind of weather

Calm and sunny weather is the least bothersome to deal with in the middle of the ocean, but it can get monotonous, so part of me thinks he'd kind of appreciate the inherent drama of a good thunderstorm.

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

I guess he probably has like, an OKAY singing voice? But prefers rap.

how/what they like to draw or doodle

I mean... we have some examples of the kinds of things he draws, don't we? But maybe he draws occasional fanart too.

[kidclubz]

Do you have any random headcanons for Dirk and Jake?

LISTEN

dirk

not so much a random hc but 90% self-projection I rlly like to think the striders r asian diaspora (them being half japanese living in texas babey!) and treating the whole anime shades narrative as a well-hidden attempt at reconnecting with a part of their culture? hm. it might be a stretch but it's just a personal thought

actual random hcs.. dirk is a part of the "no bread crust" gang (in a firm believer that he would cut sandwiches into cute animal shapes or ur standard triangle)

Scientists Have Proven That Long Hot Showers Signify The Mind's Desire For Hunan Warmth 😕😕 dirk is a canon shower floor sitter there's no way he would stand for hours bc the water distributes unevenly (u would have to rotate once ur ass gets cold and vice versa)

I cant think of any more atm

jake

I feel like he would LOVE tech wear clothes!! the harnesses the belts and buckles and utility of it all! what use is a man without five computers? what use is a pair of shorts without enough pockets to fit them all????

he READ the rainbow magic fairy books and he LOVED it (this headcanon branched off into my extensive scholastics lore including the fact that jake would definitely buy a spy kit if he ever had the chance to)

all around green thumb guy and stellar cook (is this canon? I cant rmbr...)

not a hc but I always think abt how jake falls under a bastardized version of the pygmalion archetype where he is both the creator and the object of creation (pygmalion wants to create the "perfect woman" and jake is constantly trying to present this image of the perfect masculine hero). pygmalion abhors women so much and that's what fuelled led his desire to make the ivory statue, jake doesn't even like aspects of masculinity; whenever he's given the chance to "fulfill" his role (becoming jane's husband, for example, providing children for her or saving the day) he fails. Recall the quintessential tenant of jakeisms "I don't wanna be a man and I don't wanna punch her in the face!" in this essay

sorry that is basically incoherent. normal jake headcanon: him and dave would be great friends :( I think dave would slowly inject jake’s otherworldly speaking vocabulary and they both would become verbally incomprehensible 

[autisticsupervillain]

The Makara Sisters

Ladies and gentlemen, it's finally here. My villainstuck Calliope post. @icedreaper I certainly hope you enjoy my friend.

Now this. This provides me with a fascinating challenge. How do you corrupt someone who is inherently good? Calliope is the heroic half of Caliborn. That seems as close to incorruptible as you can be in the Homestuck multiverse. Well, Calliope is about to learn that good is a very subjective term. The road to hell is paved with good intentions after all.

Our tale begins on Earth C. Calliope had moved in next to Roxy, as she was one of the people she knew best. Calliope is still a bit of a fangirl and casually rooming up with the people she idolized is kinda overwhelming for her. As such, she spends most of her time with Roxy and her friends. It’s not until years later that she gets to have another long conversation with any of the Beta Kids.

It happens during a party. The 5 year anniversary of the day the kids beat the game. Roxy had voided up all the necessities, with a little help from Jane for reference. That night, Calliope sees Dave sitting at a table completely smashed. Calliope asks if he’s doing alright and immediately sees through Dave’s bullshit when he insists he is. Calliope is best friends with Roxy. She knows what grief drinking looks like at this point and that’s exactly what Dave is doing. If he were sober, Dave would be able to keep his mask on and brush of Calliope's concern. But, he’s completely hammered, so he starts running his mouth. Dave admits that, while he was setting up the speakers and trying to get the music to sound right, Dirk surprised him.

The way Dirk was dressed, with his hat and his shades, and with how much he’d grown over the years, for a minute, Dirk looked a lot like Bro. Dave freezes up and flashes back for a minute before Dirk snap him out of it. Dirk comforts Dave about it as Dave vents his heart out at him for a bit. Basically retreading the conversation from when Dave gives him that big hug. Bro’s abuse still happened and that still creeps in sometimes. So, it’s good that the Striders can have these conversations. After a few cracks at how “fucked in the head" they are, the Striders begin pondering their counterparts. More specifically, Alpha Dave. Dave speculates that Alpha Dave was who he would’ve grown up to be if he didn’t have John, Rose, and Jade to lean on. Of course, sense Dirk doesn’t really know him well enough to define Alpha Dave as a person, that doesn’t really clear anything up. That just leaves the uncomfortable question of what a Dave without friends would’ve looked like. Especially with the way Bro turned out.

Soon the party started, and Dirk advised Dave to have fun and take his mind off it. Dave tries, but finds he can’t. It’s eating at him more than it should and he decides to go for a drink. One drink turns to several and then Calliope showed up.

At the end of his drunken ramble, Calliope expresses her sympathy. While she doesn’t know Dave very well, she knows someone in a similar situation to Alpha Dave. She mentions her God-Tier counterpart and reassures Dave that, while Calliope did become a much colder person, she did not become a bad one. Dave is a good person at heart and Calliope assures him that he always will be, regardless of what happens. That’s when Dirk and Rose show up. Dirk thanks Calliope for comforting Dave and explains that he figured something like this would happen and went to fetch Rose to help. Calliope watches them drag Dave home so they could talk to him in private before returning to the party.

The next day, Dave invites Calliope over and thanks her for giving him someone to lean on. The two start visiting regularly and they quickly become friends. They talk about their alternate selves often and Dave eventually mentions that he would’ve liked to meet his Alpha counterpart, if only to put his fears to rest. When Calliope asks if he’s ever discussed this with Dirk, Dave says that it’d be awkward. Bro was a terrible person and all it’d do is make Dirk feel worse about himself. So, Calliope just suggests asking John to let him visit Alpha Dave and Dave goes quiet. He takes a deep breath, figuring that he’s already dumped a lot on Calliope as it is, so there’s no backing out now. He admits that he’s scared to see what his Alpha counterpart is like. Dave has quite a few flaws himself and given how Dirk turned out…

Calliope mentions Davesprite, who had a nasty life himself but still turned out to be a good person, but Dave still remains hesitant. He clams up and Calliope admits that this is probably a conversation he should have with Rose or Dirk. Calliope apologizes for making her company awkward but Dave still thanks her as she leaves. He needed a fresh set of eyes to look at his issues before he began talking them out with his closer friends.

After a few days of stewing on the issue, Dave finally calls up Rose to have a chat with her. Rose brings up a lot of the same points Calliope and ultimately gets to the root of where this new issue comes from. Now that Dave has had time to process how harmful most of what he’s been raised on actually is, he’s worried about how it’s effected him as a person. Basically, he’s worried he might end up as a terrible person because Bro was a terrible person and that constant fear of failure that Bro’s abuse instilled in him is keeping him from just dissipating these feelings logically. Sure, Dave knows he’s not a bad person. He knows, logically, that he’s just a kid trying his best to be a good person. But, Bro instilled a bunch of self loathing in him by constantly beating the shit out of him when he was a kid. That doesn’t just go away. Rose is smart and she knows Dave well enough to comfort him, but she’s not the psychoanalytical genius she used to think she was. The only advice she can give him is from the heart. So, she admits that Dave venting to her was a good first step. But the only one who will know whether or not meeting Alpha Dave will help or not is him. All she can do is listen to and support him. It’s up to Dave to decide if he thinks that will be enough.

A few more days of contemplation later, Dave approaches John and asks him to help meet Alpha Dave.

The two Dave’s talk for awhile, after Alpha Dave calms down from seeing two young men in pajamas spontaneously appear right in front of him. Alpha Dave sympathizes with the younger Strider once he’s all caught up and admits that he didn’t have the best life growing up either. So that’s why he’s being earnest when he says that Dave’s handling it the best he can. Your upbringing doesn’t define you, you define you. And Dave has defined himself a good person who loves his friends and is working hard to work through his trauma. After a big hug, Alpha Dave asks if he could meet Dirk and Davesprite.

On the day of Dirk’ birthday party, Dirk is greeted at home by three Daves instead of two. Cue Strider group hug.

After a long party, Alpha Dave expresses how happy he is to have finally met Dirk. He expresses how happy he is to see two versions of himself grew up to get happy endings and shows how proud he is in Dirk. Even if he’s destined to die, he can die happy knowing that his little bro grows up happy.

Calliope gets caught up by John about the goings on after Alpha Dave returns to his own timeline. She’s happy to know that she helped the Striders, indirectly or otherwise, and Dirk thanks her for giving him the happiest party of his life.

After everything winds down and people start turning in for the night, Calliope thoughts return to God-Tier Calliope, thanks to Alpha Dave reminding her of her. She contemplates if getting to see Earth C and make friends like she did would make her happier.

She waits a few months before asking John for help again, letting him cool off from all the time traveling, partying, and emotional catharsis. She asks him to take her to wear the Green Sun used to be so she can grab God-Tier Calliope’s body and bring her back to be revived by Jane.

God-Tier Calliope is very put off by her new surroundings. A massive, life filled world, filled with other sentient, sapient life forms. She has a hard time opening up and she always comes off as distant next to her counterpart. Not unpleasant, just cold.

She tries to open. Tries to make friends. Calliope insists that this is what made her happy. But it just doesn’t click. Calliope ponders the problem over before coming to a realization. All the ways she was able to contact her human friends. All the technology. All the toys. That had to be given to her by someone. Both Calliopes have vague memories of someone caring for them when they were younger… but they just couldn’t remember who.

So, Calliope asks John for another big favor in order to find out who raised her. When the two find out it was Gamzee, Calliope is ecstatic to have a father figure like what Jane and John had, only for John to cough awkwardly and elaborate who Gamzee actually is. John doesn’t know all the details himself, but he does know that Gamzee apparently killed some of Karkat’s friends and attempted some more horrible stuff. Calliope is distraught but John can’t give any more details. Neither Karkat or Vriska like to talk about it. Dejected, Calliope and John return where Calliope briefs her God-Tier counterpart on the situation.

So, God-Tier Calliope just teleports over to Karkat and bluntly asks about Gamzee. The naked, showering Karkat proceeds to screech his lungs out.

After patiently waiting out Karkat’s tantrum, Calliope clarifies that Gamzee may have been her father. Karkat pauses before shoeing her out of the room so he can finish his shower.

Then John teleports in to warn him about Calliope and Karkat screeches again.

After Karkat finally wraps up and gets dressed, he and John sit down with the Calliopes to explain. John questions whether or not he should be a part of this, but Karkat insists. Honesty is the backbone of a healthy relationship and the Gamzee thing has been eating at him for awhile now. Karkat explains that Gamzee was one of his best friends, even if he didn’t always treat him like it. Which is something that Karkat regrets seeing how he snapped and started murdering people. Karkat would’ve tried to calm him down, stop him, but that plan got shunted aside thanks to the retcon. Karkat goes into self loathing mode, he doesn’t even know why Gamzee started killing people and he blames himself for that. Calliope reassures him and John helps pull him out of his funk while God-Tier Calliope just bluntly asks when and how Gamzee raised her. Karkat admits that he has no idea and that he doesn’t know where to find him now. All he can confirm is that he’s still alive. God-Tier Calliope leaves the conversation at that point, allowing her mortal counterpart to catch up with her later.

Calliope asks about her chilly demeanor and God-Tier Calliope still admits that she doesn’t still fully get this friendship thing. She can see that there’s something there between her counterpart and her friends, but she doesn’t fully get it. She just can’t feel it. After all, she’s a healthy Cherub and Cherubs don’t have friends. Regardless, Calliope tries to help give her a push in the right direction with some nicknames. From now on, everyone will refer to God-Tier Calliope as Callie, calling back to Roxy's nickname. After all, Calliope loved it when she was befriending Roxy, so surely it’ll grow on Callie.

Calliope and Callie start scouring the globe for Gamzee’s refrigerator. However, Jake ends up being the one to find it. Callie coldly thanks Jake for his assistance and awkwardly hugs him. She almost crushes his ribs, but it’s the thought that counts. Hugs are a thing that friends do after all. Callie informs Jake that, while the exact details are personal, Gamzee could potentially still be dangerous and they might need him for backup.

When Gamzee stumble out of the fridge and adjusts his eyesight, the first thing he sees is Calliope. His first instinct is to envelope her in a hug. Nearly a minute passes before he notices Callie hovering over them and Jake training a gun on him.

Gamzee tries to hug Callie as well, but she pushes him back and starts interrogating him. Even when being held several feet in the air, Gamzee is still gushing over his daughter and Callie events puts him down at Calliope’s insistence. Gamzee’s blabbering comes to a dead halt once Callie bluntly asks why he killed Nepeta and Equius. Jake notices the mood shift and awkwardly excuses himself from the conversation, making sure he’s still in yelling distance.

Gamzee sits down, stares up at the sky and confesses to everything. He killed for two reasons. One was in service to his dark master Lord English, whom he believed would destroy reality and replace it with the Dark Carnival. An eternal paradise, free from all the abandonment and suffering he’d been cursed with. The other reason was Calliope herself. When he met her, when he first saw her hatch, he fell in love with her. She was the first person in his life to love him unconditionally.

He goes on into detail about how Lil' Cal, the Gamzee part of Lil' Cal talked about Calliope in his brief moments of clarity. Gamzee didn’t believe it until he met her himself.

Calliope isn’t sure what to make of her surrogate father. He’s a bad person by his own admission and the fact that he was, to an extent, motivated by her just makes it even more complicated. Callie rests a hand on her counterpart’s shoulder and asks Gamzee why she didn’t get this treatment. Gamzee hazards a guess that his counterpart wanted her to survive in that timeline. Cherubs grow best on isolation after all. It was even something he considered doing in the main timeline, given he loved Calliope more than her “brother". Callie suggests that they take Gamzee back to the house. Live with him for a few days. Give Calliope the chance to know him and sort out her conflicted feelings, while also making sure that he’s being monitored by one of the most powerful God-Tiers on Earth should he prove to be untrustworthy.

Jake doesn’t ask what their conversation was about, as he feels like it was a private affair. He’s confident that his dear friend and her alternate counterpart can handle whatever it is they’ve gotten themselves into. However, he is asked a question by Callie: What’s a sister? Gamzee kept referring to the two of them as such. Jake and Calliope explain the concept of siblings to Callie and the two decide too adopt the term. Callie and Calliope. Twin Cherub Sisters.

Over the course of the next few months, Callie and Calliope get to know Gamzee better. Gamzee is fully remorseful for his actions. He reveals more of why he took the path he did to his daughters overtime. He talks about the Sopor. He talks about his faith. He talks about his dad. Eventually, he even brings himself to talk about Tavros.

The sisters notice the way his demeanor shifts. The mood always lightens whenever he talks about Tavros. He looks like he’s somewhere else, somewhere warmer and nicer. In those brief moments, Gamzee looks like Gamzee again.

He refuses to tell them who killed Tavros. He insists he doesn’t know.

Meanwhile, Jake has been incredibly shifty on the details of his exhibition with the Calliopes. His friends know he’s hiding something from them, Jake can’t lie for shit. But, when pressed, he tells them that it’s something the Calliopes wanted him to keep secret. So the subject is left alone.

That is, until Vriska Serket catches wind of it.

It starts innocuously enough. John heard about Jake’s little trip, so he asks about it at the next anniversary party. Jake says the matter is private, so John drops the issue. Vriska overhears and starts hounding him for details. Jake went on an adventure with the two Calliopes and didn’t invite her? This is the most interesting thing to happen in ages! What happened? Who’s involved? What’s going on!?! Jake finds he can’t slip away and ends up accidentally dropping Gamzee’s name. Vriska’s enthusiastic interrogation suddenly turns death serious as she starts squeezing the facts out of him.

Gamzee is enjoying his quiet time at home, waiting for his kids to come back, when Vriska bursts through the wall. A brutal, bloody fight breaks out that lasts most of the night. Right when it looks like someone’s about to win, the Cherub Sisters get home. Callie steps in an demands to know what the hell Vriska is doing. Now that the two are restrained, Gamzee and Vriska argue instead. Calling each other murderers, abusers, manipulators, and every other nasty word the two can think of. Gamzee finally lets slip that Vriska is the one who killed Tavros.

Callie promptly hefts Vriska up by her neck. Even Calliope is giving her weird looks as Callie demands an explanation. Vriska stammers to think of a justification, but she comes up short. Killing Tavros was one of the few things she regretted, after all. Instead, she calls in back up. Vriska fully expects Callie to kill her, so she mind controls Terezi. Everything comes to a halt back at the party as Terezi suddenly shouts about Vriska being attacked down at the Cherub household.

John teleports everyone over there, causing mass chaos when they see what’s happening. Karkat demands an explanation from Gamzee, Callie demands an explanation from Vriska, Terezi demands an explanation Callie, and everyone is yelling at everyone. John, Jane, and everyone else who is trying to get people to calm down are drowned out in the sea of noise, until everything suddenly freezes. Aradia asks everyone to calm down, putting some emphasis on Callie specifically seeing how she’s probably strong enough to just break out of Aradia’s time stop.

What proceeds is effectively a trial, with Aradia reigning as Judge. The question of who exactly is on trial almost sparks another argument, but that gets shut down quick. Both Vriska Serket and Gamzee Makara on trial today and both immediately start flinging dirt at the other. The argument goes in circles as the two throw accusations and excuses at each other, forcing Aradia to break up a few fights. Vriska claims that she had an abusive lusus as an excuse, Gamzee points out that at least she had lusus. Gamzee calls Vriska out on her abusive behavior, John mentions the Pre-Retcon timeline. Vriska calls Gamzee a murderer and Gamzee has to be restrained from beating the shit out of her for what she did to Tavros.

Eventually, the whole thing comes down to a vote. It’s decided that they can’t really hold Gamzee accountable if they’re not going to hold Vriska accountable, as they share a lot of the same excuses and crimes. Regardless of what they’ve done, they still have loved ones among them, especially in the form of Terezi and the Calliopes respectively. Basically, the policy is “live and let live". Earth C is a place of new beginnings for a lot of people. Maybe it’s best to let them start over.

Later that week, Vriska vents at Terezi about being compared to Gamzee. I mean, Gamzee was the big threat that she saved everyone from. Vriska is the good guy here! Terezi points out that Vriska nearly got them all killed and Vriska meekly concedes the point. Vriska decides she should put her money where her mouth is and try to apologize to Gamzee. After all, they’re supposedly really similar and they both just want to me better people, right? So it should be no problem for her to just walk in and apologize.

Gamzee still gives her a chilly reception when she shows up and Vriska isn’t one to take insults lying down. Things quickly escalate into an argument from there before Callie breaks it up and asks Vriska to leave. This pattern repeats for awhile. One would approach the other, an argument would ensue, and Karkat or Callie or Terezi or whoever would intervene and split them up. It happened yearly, then monthly, then daily. Karkat is especially frustrated because he thinks they would make great kissmesises, but neither of them want to go there. Gamzee refuses to give her the time of day for what she did to Tavros and Vriska is so bothered by their similarities that she keeps approaching him about it. This leads to arguments, fights, split ups, and the cycle repeats.

Eventually, Calliope gets an idea. Gamzee’s main hang up with Vriska is what she did to Tavros, right? So, they can just resurrect Tavros, have him forgive Vriska, and problem solved! It worked great with Dave’s issues, so it should work this time. John is getting a bit tired of constantly refereeing their fights himself, so he agrees to help them. They just snatch Tavros’s body from the latest point in the timeline and resurrect him. Problem solved.

Things go off the rails very quickly. Gamzee and Tavros are ecstatic to see each other again and Tav nearly bowls him over with a hug. But, when he asks for a catch up on what everyone has been up too, Gamzee hesitates. Ultimately, Gamzee is serious about wanting to be a better person, for the sake of his daughters', so he decides to be honest. He tells Tavros everything that he did. Everything that happened and why. He even explains what he planned to do to Terezi.

Tavros doesn’t forgive him.

Tavros sees the similarities and they’re enough for him to not be comfortable around Gamzee anymore. He leaves and tells Gamzee not to contact him.

Gamzee tries anyways, to no avail. He begins to shut himself off from the rest of the world. He doesn’t even speak to Karkat anymore. All the good progress he made begins going down the drain. His best bro, his first bro, doesn’t think he’s worth it anymore. What’s he supposed to make of that?

The Cherub Sisters comfort him, try to get him out of his shell. It works, to an extent, but Gamzee quickly becomes possessive. It gets worse day by day, from Gamzee stalking them to him trying to keep them from leaving the house. The Cherub Sisters go to Rose for advice, given she’s the psychologist, but she admits that she’s a little out of her depth when it comes to Gamzee. She advises spending some time away from him and letting Karkat take care of him. He’s his moirail, after all, this is his job.

But, when the sisters go on a trip, Karkat struggles to bring Gamzee out of his shell. He’s far to despondent and doesn’t seem to react to anything Karkat tries. Whenever Gamzee’s about to open up, he looks at Karkat and sees another person he failed, betrayed, and immediately clams up.

When the Sisters get back, he’s an even more possessive, self destructive mess than he was last time, to the point of watching them sleep every night. Calliope decides that they need to time travel again to fix this. John is hesitant, given last time apparently didn’t work out, but he agrees to help. This time, the sisters decide to grab his lusus. But, when introduced, Gamzee’s lusus turns around and swims away, which only sends him further down into his spiral. It’s gotten to the point where Gamzee flat out forgets to eat or sleep for days on end. When the sisters go to him again for help, John tries to refuse, stating they’re just making things worse, but Callie demands that he help out.

This time, the sisters bring Gamzee a recouperacoon to help treat his newfound insomnia. This ends with him diving head first back into addiction. Even Vriska seems concerned when she comes over for another argument, only to find him blankly staring at the ceiling. The more Gamzee’s mental state decays, the more desperate the sisters get to help him. At first, John blatantly refuses to help them any further, because all they’re doing is making things worse, but then he relents when Callie actually threatens him into helping.

When John had dropped them off on a dead planet in the middle of a seemingly Doomed Timeline, he seemed confused. Callie explained to Calliope, once they were out of earshot, that she heard a legend once of a powerful Cherub who got her hands on the Treasure. The Cherub rampaged her way across the multiverse for centuries, leaving countless bodies in her wake, before being killed by a legendary Void Player. They’re there to obtain the Treasure from her body.

None of them notice the torn up Muse of Space outfit hanging on a tombstone. A memorial to an old friend.

When he brings the sisters back, John takes them to Dirk and Dave in order to stage an intervention. They’re creating a negative feedback loop. Gamzee’s falling further into his funk, which is making the sisters more desperate to help him. This causes their actions to become more hasty, which leads to them making short sighted mistakes, leading to an ongoing cycle. The sisters agree to stop meddling and claim they need time alone to sort things out.

But, it’s to late for that now. If some had stopped them sooner, talked to them a day earlier, the sisters could’ve been talked down. But now? It was to late. They were committed now. Their father needed them.

Their plan is simple. Callie reasons that the reason the Gamzee is still suffering, still losing, is that he was thematically predestined to. That’s the theme of his character. Tragedy and comedy. The duality of a lethal joke character. So, if they change what his theme is, what the narrative of his character is, they can change his fate. It makes some sort of sense… even if it is a desperate long shot when you think about it

So, how does one change the themes surrounding one’s character? They just need to change his aspect. Rage is defined by chaos, destruction, discontent, and the aforementioned duality. They just need to change his aspect to something else. And, in order to do that, they need a ritual.

All of reality is made up of games within games. Copies of SBURB that generate copies of SBURB on and on. Those games are made up of code and code can be decompiled. They just need to find the debug tool, reprogram Gamzee’s aspect, and thus eliminate all the thematic suffering that plagues his character.

In order to find the Debug Tool, the Sisters need to jump through some hoops. Using the Retcon Powers, Calliope and Callie approach a random Lord of Light, asking him to use his absolute knowledge to confirm their theory. He obliges, mostly to avoid fighting a powerful Muse of Space. Apparently, in order to find the Debug Tool, you’d have to gather up the fragments of its code that are hidden around Paradox Space. Luckily, the Lord knows where they are, thanks to knowledge being Light's mo. He gives them a list of what to search for and where to find it. The Sisters depart on their journey.

Calliope and Callie come across a Doomed version of Beforus and explain their quest to the local version of Feferi. The Empress admits that she does have something like that and is, in fact, happy someone has come to take it off her hands. The last time she tried messing with that strand of code, she ended up glitching a nearby galaxy out of existence, so she resorted to locking it up and throwing away the key.

Unfortunately, things begin to go wrong once Callie tries interacting with the fragment of code. The Sisters are effectively script kiddies in this “the multiverse is all code" analogy. Meaning, they don’t fully understand what they’re doing and they’re to desperate to fully care. Once the Sisters leave with the code fragment, Beforus's timeline begins glitching. It starts out like a particularly buggy Bethesda game and quickly descends into a lovecraftian nightmare. The Sisters only realize the damage they’ve caused when they see the timeline they just left “crash" and corrupt itself, leaving only buggy horrorterrors and amalgamated monstrosities in its wake. Calliope is horrified to see that they just destroyed an entire timeline, but Callie tries to remain calm. While she’s clearly shaken, she reasons that they can just undo the damage once the Debug Tool is put back together. It’s not like they can save the timeline now, it’s the only responsible thing to do. Calliope reluctantly agrees.

This pattern continues. The Cherubs travel from timeline to timeline, collecting bits of code and leaving buggy messes in their wake. With every piece collected, more damage is done to the very foundation of Paradox Space. Not only do timelines break apart, but survivors who escape said timelines act as viruses that allow the broken code to infest other timelines. People become living, unwitting Trojan Horses, spreading their glitches to other sessions. The spread only gets worse once the infection reaches the dreambubbles. Those who don’t die suffer as unrecognizable abominations.

This just makes the Sisters more desperate to fulfill their goal. Gamzee becomes an afterthought as they start racing to save reality.

Word soon spreads of the precursors of this event. Descriptions of the Capricious Makara Sisters, who would steal the keystones to your reality and doom your timeline to destruction.

The Alpha Trolls and the Ancestors in the dreambubbles team up to try and quarantine the event , with Aranea communicating with Vriska to inform Earth C of the ongoing apocalypse. The Earth C team help out where they can, but they begin to hear things about these so called Makara Sisters. Descriptions and details through the grape vine that sound hauntingly familiar. It’s Roxy who pits the pieces together as her gut sinks in horror.

The Makara Sisters teleport in to find a piece of the code, only to find their friends waiting for them. Roxy, Dave, Karkat, Dirk, and everyone else tries to reason with them. To talk them out of this crusade. The Cherubs don’t know what they’re doing. That’s the whole reason things got this bad. If the complete the Debug Tool, much less use it to mess with something as important as Aspects, they could potentially destroy all of Paradox Space. Quarantine efforts are making good headway, they don’t need to risk all this.

It’s to late though. Calliope is convinced that the Debug Tool is the only thing that can prevent Armageddon. During their argument, Callie breaks down in tears.

Gamzee was the first person she loved. Not appreciated, not cared for, loved. Over time, she’d grown attached to Gamzee. She learned about this things humans called family and she fully embraced it. Gamzee was her father and Callie was going to save him.

Calliope comforts her sister after her breakdown, allowing the two to teleport away.

The Makara Sisters continue collecting pieces of the code, destroying more timelines and making quarantine that much more difficult, until only one remains. The last piece of code, buried deep within Earth C's core. And all that stood between them were all of their friends.

No matter what happens, Roxy will always remember Calliope as her friend.