#‘inej has no personality outside of kaz’ BYE

[dragonqueenstormwitch]

some people don’t deserve to speak on kanej

[milo-my-beloved]

chapter six of stupid things!

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Wylan and Jesper took a cab home, leaving Kaz and Inej to find their own way home and a very disgruntled Matthias to deal with them. They giggled the entire way back to Jesper’s apartment, imagining increasingly ridiculous and complex methods that Nina’s boyfriend might come up with to get the two to go home.

Wylan insists on paying for the taxi, since Jesper had declared that he should stay the night. They tumble through the door, laughing at the possibility of Matthias locking their friends in an aquarium overnight, and collapse onto the couch, Wylan’s head cradled on Jesper’s chest.

“We should get up,” Jesper says, not moving. “Put pajamas on, or something.”

Wylan just snuggles closer to his chest. “Will you put a movie on?”

Jes smiles down at the sleepy man cuddled up to him and runs his hands through his curls. “Sure thing, sunshine. But I’m picking.”

By the time the opening credits of Star Wars have finished, Wylan is quietly snoring against Jesper’s chest. By the time the Death Star explodes, Jesper has followed suit, both of them pressed against each other, only visible thanks to the full moon outside the window.

{o0o}

One of the things Jesper loves the most about Wylan is the mystery that surrounds him. The only person he’s met that is more skilled at dodging questions is Kaz, and that’s half of his personality. Wylan is nowhere near as good at lying, but Jesper doesn’t push it when he clearly doesn’t want to answer a question. With anyone else he might have, but he really doesn’t want to lose the man who he’s grown so attached to.

Maybe Drunk Jesper has made one good decision. But that’s about it.

One of the few things that Jesper has managed to figure out about his boyfriend is that he’s secretly rich, and embarrassed about it. He always wears quality clothes - soft, cashmere jumpers and dress shirts and fancy shoes - and he insists on paying for a lot of things they do together, but he always blushes whenever Jesper teases him for it.

Actually, Wylan blushes quite a lot. It’s one of Jesper’s favourite things about him.

When they wake up on Saturday morning to the sunlight streaming through the window, they’re still packed tightly together. Jesper’s arm is stiff from being curled protectively around Wylan, who has apparently spent the night drooling on Jesper’s shirt.

If it was anyone else, it would be disgusting, but Jesper finds it strangely endearing.

“Morning, sunshine,” he greets, smiling to himself as Wylan yawns and stretches. “How did you sleep?”

He mumbles an unintelligible response against Jesper’s chest before turning and burying his face back into the crook of his arm. Jesper laughs quietly, but he brings his hand up to cup Wylan’s head and gently strokes his hair.

“For all that drool you’ve managed to get on my chest, you’d better plan an excellent date,” Jesper teases, but Wylan doesn’t respond, already fast asleep again.

{o0o}

Wylan has never been a fan of surprises. Everything in his life has always been planned; from his wardrobe to his meals to what he is supposed to be in life. That’s why he messages the group chat on Wednesday with his plans, rather than leaving it as a surprise like everyone else seems so fond of doing.

Wylan: I know what we’re doing on Friday :D

Inej: and you’re gonna tell us???

Wylan: yes :DDD

Kaz: unheard of

Wylan: I got us tickets to the new exhibit at Ketterdam Museum!!!

Jesper: wat

Inej: awesome! what’s it on?

Wylan: fossils, I think :)

Jesper: there better be a gift shop

He smiles to himself, looking down at his phone as he checks the museum website. Huh. There is a gift shop.

{o0o}

Kaz and Inej mention something vague about going to dinner before meeting them at the museum, so Wylan and Jesper make their own way. Wylan calls them a taxi, smiling to himself as Jesper complains about their friends the entire way there.

“All I’m saying is that it’s rude!” he exclaims, flapping his arms about for emphasis. “It’s called a ‘double date’ for a reason, there’s supposed to be two couples there.”

Wylan hums noncommittally.

“If they were just getting a different ride there then I guess I could understand that, but to go out for dinner first? That’s, like, a whole activity that they’re doing without us!”

“You’re here,” the driver interrupts as they pull up to the front of the museum building.

“Thank you,” Wylan says, handing over the money. “And Jes, how about we go out for dinner afterwards? Just us, I mean.”

Jesper pouts as he climbs out the car. “I already ate.”

“I’m sure you can find room,” Wylan replies, rolling his eyes fondly. “Look, there’s Kaz and Inej.”

Sure enough, their two friends are waiting on the steps outside the museum, huddled together with Kaz’s cane propped up beside them. Inej spots them as they start to approach and stands up, waving frantically to catch their attention while Kaz shakes his head at her antics.

Wylan tugs the corner of Jesper’s sleeve, waving back with his other hand. “Come on!”

Jesper rolls his eyes. “Can we just pretend we don’t know them and go get food now?”

“I thought you ate already?”

“Oh, piss off.”

Wylan grins widely when they finally reach them, brandishing the four tickets in front of him like magician asking ‘is this your card?’ Jesper snatches one out of his hand before anyone gets the chance, Kaz and Inej taking theirs in a much more dignified fashion.

For all their excited chatter as they head towards the entrance, Jesper has to admit, a trip to a museum has never been on his list of dream dates. Or vaguely acceptable dates. Or a day out with his friends. At best, he decides, he might have gone on a school field trip, but mostly only to get out of doing much work for a day.

The foyer of the building is impressive, even by his standards, but he still doesn’t feel nearly as excited as Inej or Wylan. (It’s hard to tell what Kaz is feeling at any given moment, but Jesper is fairly sure he has never seen him excited.) It’s only after they hand their tickets over to a kind attendant and round the corner that Jesper stops in his tracks and stares ahead, his mouth wide open.

“Is that… a dinosaur?” he asks, completely rooted to the spot.

No one bothers dignifying his question with a response, all of them too busy staring at the huge creature standing before them. Of course, it is just bones, but there is still something incredible about being so close to an animal that has been dead for millions of years.

Of all of them, Wylan seems to be the least affected.

“It’s the first T-rex to be displayed in Ketterdam for over a hundred years!” he exclaims in a hushed tone, smiling at the awed expressions on his friends’ faces. “I think his name is Titus.”

“Woah,” Inej says, stepping towards it. “It’s huge!”

“Twelve feet tall,” Wylan responds with a smile.

“How come you know so much already?” Kaz asks, his eyes wandering around the rest of the room.

“I booked the tickets, remember. I looked at the website.”

“Kaz!” Inej exclaims, grabbing his gloved hand and pointing across the room with her other hand. “Look, they have an interactive section.”

Even as the other two disappear around a corner, Wylan and Jesper stay rooted to the spot. It takes a few minutes for Jesper to get over his original shock of being face-to-face with a twelve-foot tall dinosaur, but when he does, he practically starts vibrating on the spot.

“Wy, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me we were gonna see actual dinosaurs! This is so freaking cool,” he exclaims, slowly walking around Titus to get a better look at his side.

“I did!” Wylan protests, smiling at the look of awe on Jesper’s face. “I told you the exhibit is on fossils.”

“I thought we were gonna go see a load of musty rocks with weird shapes in them, not a T-rex!”

Wylan just laughs, squeezing Jesper’s hand. “I didn’t know you were such a fan of dinosaurs.”

“Come on, man,” Jesper protests. “Jurassic Park is one of my favourite movies of all time.”

“Hopefully, these ones don’t come to life,” Wylan quips, and Jesper giggles, dragging him around the rest of the exhibit.

{o0o}

After Jesper has read every single piece of information there is to read (in a range of funny voices) to Wylan, and every corner of the museum has been explored, they decide it’s time to call it quits.

“Shall I call a cab?” Kaz asks as they head towards the museum entrance.

“Not for us,” Wylan replies, squeezing Jesper’s hand. “We’re gonna stay out in town for a while longer.”

“Alright,” he says, fishing his phone out of his pocket and stepping away as he calls the taxi company.

Inej smiles at them, bringing them both into a tight hug. “Thanks for organising this, Wylan! I had fun.”

He blushes. “It was my pleasure. I’ll say goodbye to you now, though - I just need the toilet before we go.”

“See you next week,” she replies, squeezing them both tightly before pulling away.

“Bye,” he says, before turning to Jesper. “Go and wait with them - I’ll only be five minutes.”

“Alright,” Jesper replies, kissing the top of his head. “You better not leave me for too long, though. It’s rude to keep your hot date waiting.”

“Is it, now?” Wylan laughs, turning away and hurrying down the corridor. He heads in the right direction until they are out of sight, before doubling back the way he came and darting into the gift shop instead.

It only takes a minute or two of browsing before he grabs what he’s looking for. He takes it to the counter, smiling, rummaging through his jacket for his wallet.

“Is this all, sir?” the lady behind the till asks.

“Yes, thank you. It’s a present for my boyfriend,” he replies, blushing slightly.

She smiles warmly, her eyes crinkling. “That’s so sweet! Here, if it’s a gift, I’ll wrap it up for you.”

Wylan watches as she deftly wraps it in orange wrapping paper, humming to herself as she works. “Thank you.”

He hands over the right amount of kruge as she passes him the wrapped gift, which he slides into his inside pocket.

“I hope he likes it, sweetie.”

“Me too,” he replies, thanking her again as he rushes out the door to meet back up with Jesper.

{o0o}

They end up going to a fish and chip shop and finding a bench in a nearby park to sit on while they eat.

“Wy, these have to be the best chips I’ve ever eaten,” Jesper declares, still chewing.

“I can tell,” Wylan remarks, raising an eyebrow at the (bordering lewd) noises Jesper makes while eating. “Oh, by the way, I got you something.”

Jesper’s head snaps up. “Dessert?”

“No,” Wylan laughs, fishing the small parcel out of his pocket. “I got you a present.”

Jesper swallows the food in his mouth and wipes his greasy hands on his jeans before carefully taking the parcel from Wylan. He unwraps it gently, laughing when he realises what it is.

“So there was a gift shop after all. When did you get this?”

“When I said I needed the loo,” Wylan admits, wringing his hands in his lap.

Jesper turns the fridge magnet over in his hands, running his fingers over the writing. ‘I survived a T-rex encounter!’

“Thank you,” he says, suddenly finding it a little hard to speak. “That’s really nice of you.”

Wylan shrugs. “It was like, five kruge. You don’t have to thank me.”

Jesper laughs, blinking away the wetness in his eyes as he leans over to whisper something in Wylan’s ear. “I have to tell you a secret though.”

Wylan frowns. “What?”

Jesper smiles down at him. “I don’t have a fridge,” he admits, giggling.

“Wha- how do you not have a fridge?”

He shrugs. “Jesper skills. Now shut up and kiss me.”

Wylan is more than happy to oblige.

tag list (ask to be added or removed!) :D

@hrtbreakprincess / @tooindecisivetopickaurl / @kazcoded / @saltyfortunes / @just2bubbly