#‘i wish you find inner peace and that life treats you well!!’

[transmisogynyiscool]

sorry my terf grime has already been washed all over this post theres no take backsies :/ :p

this needs to be framed and hung in tumblr hq

[miaoua3]

hi^^ can u req for a joshua fic where in bf!shua took gf!reader to a date to celebrate the eldest daughter day, and made her feel like a teenager again — amusement park date, matchy headbands, sharing cotton candy, shopping galore after (which she didnt really got to do stuffs bec she busy with her ‘eldest daughter’ duties ykeim 🥺). just joshua making her feel like she deserves this treat too. thank you!

(sorry english isnt my first language 😭)

heyy! (first of, your english is perfect sweetie, have more trust in yourself❤️), and sure you can- i love writing fluff with our joshua, he’s just so sweet that he makes it impossible to not want to write the fluffiest things with him☹️anyway, i hope you enjoy this and that you take it easy! love you

Care For You

Pairing: joshua x f!reader

Genre: fluff, comfort (no hurt), amusement park date, healing your inner child, joshua best bf ever, mentions of bad relationships with your parents

Description: after noticing that you had a hard week (as well as hard life in general), joshua decides that the amusement park date is long overdue for the two of you❤️

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

joshua has always been very observant of the people he holds and loves dearly. even the things they themselves wouldn’t notice, he does. it’s always been in his nature to give out comfort to those around him who have hard time.

so after he noticed you move a bit slower, talk a little less, your dark circles get a bit darker, your work keeping you up a little bit longer than usual, getting easily annoyed at little inconveniences, he knew what kind of week you were having and how much pressure you’ve been putting on yourself.

you were always a little bit of an overachiever-nothing you ever did seemed enough for you. you have always been like this, ever since he had first met you.

joshua, based on the few things and stories you told him, knew that these issues and habits stemmed from your early childhood and they continued well into your adulthood. being the oldest daughter, who always had to act perfectly and accordingly, who your parents always had to count on not to disappoint them, who had to be this perfect image of a daughter for your younger siblings to have to look up to, who had to, in a way, raise them yourself, certainly seemed troubling to joshua.

joshua’s heart always ached whenever he saw how unkind and cruel both you yourself and your family were towards you.

especially when he saw just how good, hardworking, and kind you were to everyone around you.

he always wished he could somehow help you. to see how kind and loving you were. to make you see how proud of you everyone was, and how highly they thought of you. to heal what he never even broke.

so, that’s why, on the saturday night, as you came home from yet another excruciatingly exhausting day at work, you were bombarded with his gentle smiles, hugs and kisses, as well as a dinner that he prepared for you.

you knew your boyfriend well enough to see that this was just a setup for something bigger.

so you weren’t even surprised to have him wake you up the next morning at 6am (on your only free day).

this better be good, you thought as you looked at him through blurry eyes.

joshua, who was already dressed, was sitting on the bed beside you, his big hand gently patting your head.

smiling gently at you, he then spoke “hey baby, sorry to wake you up but we have somewhere to be, get up so you can get ready”, he pauses to kiss your forehead before continuing “the breakfast is ready and on the table. cmon now”.

no matter how unhappy you felt about being woken up so early, you were ready to hit the road (wherever it may lead you to) an hour later, still a bit sleepy but also excited for the new adventure that your darling boyfriend was taking you on.

holding his hand while he was driving, you find yourself feeling at peace for the first time in more than a week-as a matter of fact, so at peace that you felt yourself slowly drifting off to sleep again.

just as you were about to drift off to the dreamland, you felt his fingers slowly let go of your hand to instead caress your cheek carefully and gently, as his whisper reached your ear.

“sweet dreams, my sweet girl.”

the next time you woke up, it was hours later and the car wasn’t moving anymore, and your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

you tried to look for any signs as to where you might be (or where your boyfriend might be for that matter), but just then joshua opened the door to the driver’s side and got in.

seeing that you were awake now, he immediately smiled. “hey sleepyhead, just in time”, he said as he stretched across the middle section to give you a brief peck on your lips.

you, still kind of clueless and disoriented, just ask him “…in time for what?”.

joshua, finding you absolutely adorable, just smiles as he responds “you will see in a little bit. but first- breakfast.”, and then he’s getting out of the car and to your side to open your door for you.

five minutes later, you find yourselves in front of a cafe. but not just any cafe.

you find yourself in front of a cat cafe.

something you have always dreamed of visiting since you were a little.

you, slowly and with hopeful eyes, turn to joshua and with a trembling voice ask him “really?”.

joshua, fighting the urge to puke from happiness and summon all of the gods possible just to high five them for letting him make you this happy, gently smiles as he tucks a bit of stray hair behind your ear. “really.”

that’s all you needed to hear to quickly jump and hug him tightly for a little second before grabbing his hand to drag him inside.

trusting joshua to order something for you that you will like, you immediately sit down on the floor and let yourself be surrounded by all the possible cats there are, cooing at them as they rub themselves against you and climb all over you.

you were a bit busy by giving all the cuddles to the cute, beige and fluffy cat in your lap to notice how adoringly joshua was looking at you, as well as him snapping a few pictures to have this day be remembered by.

after half an hour of you just being preoccupied with the cats, joshua finally called you to eat because your hot chocolate was slowly getting colder to the point it would be undrinkable.

after an hour of you eating (and cuddling with cats some more), you find yourself in the car again. joshua, still refusing to tell you where you were going to, was only smiling excitedly as he was driving.

whatever it is that he’s taking me to, it must he good you think to yourself as you watch his excitement bounce off of the roof of the car.

and as you stood in front of a huge amusement park, you understood his smug and excited smiles.

because this was better than good for you.

this was something you have always dreamt of doing, but were never allowed to do while growing up due to your parents deeming it “a waste of everybody’s time”.

joshua just looks at you-to see how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. he was so excited to have done this for you, he has been looking forward to seeing your reaction since he thought of the idea.

ever so slowly, you turn your had towards joshua, your eyes big and glossy, looking at him as if they were saying “is this for real? im not dreaming?”.

joshua, with a proud but humble smile, just says “surprise”.

in one moment he’s looking at you, smiling at you.

in the next he’s trying to keep you both standing, tumbling a little bit due to you jumping onto him, your face burying itself in his neck, arms wrapping themselves tightly around his waist.

regaining his balance, joshua hugs you right back just as tightly, his big hand gently taming down your hair.

with all of the gratefulness you’re feeling for him, you whisper in a somewhat broken voice “thank you. thank you. thank you.”, repeating the words like a mantra.

joshua just closes his eyes as he kisses the side of your head, still softly patting your head.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

to say that the whole day was spent doing nothing but what you wanted was a given. joshua honestly didn’t care what you were doing as long as it was what you wanted and that you were doing it together.

so, naturally, you two started by riding the teacups. and if joshua felt like puking every spin the cup you two were in spun into? well he surely wasn’t going to tell you and ruin the mood for you.

the moment you two saw the stand with silly headbands in the distance, joshua knew what your next stop was.

so that’s why not even five minutes later he found himself with mickey mouse inspired headband (that was also matching your own minnie mouse headband) on top of his head. and naturally, you just had to take millions of pictures of you two together because how could you not when joshua was looking so damn cute?

following that, you dragged him to the sweets stand, where there were all sorts of candies available. as he did the whole day today, joshua naturally paid for the candies too. he wasn’t surprised at all when you shyly asked him if you could buy you a heart shaped cotton candy-and of course he said yes.

how could he ever say no to the love of his life?

while you were sitting down on a bench, joshua was looking up at the map of the whole amusement park and what rides you could go onto next-all while you were feeding him pieces of cotton candy here and there.

seeing that the park had a lot to offer, you two decided to just walk around for a bit and explore what you could ride next while the cotton candy in your stomach settles down a bit more so you won’t have to puke it all out as a result of the said ride.

and so came all the rigged games.

the moment joshua saw you looking at the big white teddy bear that you can only win by hitting the target with an arrow, he knew that he was going to do everything in his power and spend so much money just to win you that stupid teddy bear.

(spoiler alert: it took him 45 minutes and much more than he expected to win that teddy bear but it was all worth it in the end as he watched you squeal and jump around with the said teddy in your arms, struggling to hold him in your arms due to its humongous size).

the moment you spotted the tank filled with little goldfish, you immediately dragged him to try to catch one. (this time, you did tell him to stop trying after 10 minutes because you felt so sorry for him trying so hard for you.)

after playing many more games (and losing terribly at them), you saw a booth that said “tarot cards- one reading 5$” and you again, dragged joshua by your intertwined hands.

for some reason, the woman that did the readings had the policy that only one person can enter the booth-which screamed ‘scam’ to joshua but alas, who was he to say no to you?

and so he waited outside for five minutes that it took for the woman to read you your cards.

when he saw you coming out, he noticed that you had a weird expression on your face-not quite sad or upset, but more so like you were processing some thoughts.

feeling a bit uneasy, joshua gently grabbed your arm and rubbed a tumb over your shirt as he asked “you okay, baby?”

breaking out of your trance, you smile reassuringly at him. “yeah. you should go in though. the lady is so wise and she really knows what she’s doing”.

at your insistence, joshua pushes the dark purple curtain out oddly his way so he can enter.

waisting no second, the middle aged lady spoke “ah, we have another sceptic and nonbeliever hier”, she chuckles as she focuses on mixing the cards together.

joshua just looks at her like a deer caught in the headlights.

amused by his reaction, the lady points her ring cladded hand to the chair across her “please, sit my child”.

still unsure and now also a little bit confused, joshua sits down and looks at the lady in front of him with furrowed eyebrows.

not paying his confused state any mind, the lady asks him “so, what will it be. love, money or career?”

joshua focuses all of his attention on her quick hands mixing the cards together, opens his mouth to answer before he gets interrupted yet again “love it is then”.

now thoroughly freak out, joshua just watches with wide eyes as she slowly takes out 5 cards and puts them on the table in front of them.

how the hell did she knew what i was going to say?

the lady hums as she looks at the cards with a thoughtful expression.

“you’re afraid that you’re not doing enough for your lady huh? I wouldn’t worry too much about that, if i were you. instead, i would focus my energy on making her open up more to you, she seems to be carrying a lot of darkness within herself. let her let it all out and you two will get even closer than you are”.

she then taps on the middle card in the first row with her long nail. “i sense some big energy from you, energy that could bring you two potential problems, but as long as you two communicate and always choose each other over letting the problem win, you two shall be fine.”

she then points to the card next to that one. “unfortunately, she will have to deal with a big heartbreak in the near future, someone in her close family will be the one to do it. that will be the time where you will have to be strong for the both of you and take really good care of her. but worry not, for you will help her tremendously at those times.”

the lady then looks at one of the card on the bottom and smiles “ah, so we are already at the stage where we’re looking for the ring huh. make it simple-the whole thing. instead of grand gestures, she will treasure you showing that you care for her much more. make it intimate and sweet.”

joshua blushes at being exposed, especially because he just started looking for a ring not even two weeks ago.

she hums again as she looks at the cards again, before suddenly grabbing his hand, turning it palm up towards her. looking at it for a second, she closes his hand and taps the back of it lightly. “you have nothing to worry about, you two have a love story straight out of a romance novel in front of you. just makes sure to always take care of her heart first and it will all be fine”, she smiles softly at him.

just as he was about to leave the tent, the lady calls for him.

“ans joshua?”

he turns around and looks at her with questionable eyes.

the lady smirks at him as she answers “go for the second ring. she will like that one much more”.

blushing furiously, he quickly escapes the tent and looks around for you before his eyes find you already looking at him.

approaching each other, you question him about how it was, all while he avoids answering your questions, saying things like ‘so stupid, who would even believe all that”, muttering profanities at the lady, all with rosy cheeks.

it is only after five minutes of walking away from the tarot tent that it hits joshua.

he never told her what his name was.

looking at you to his right, joshua just thinks to himself that…

maybe the lady had the right about the second ring being the right pick for you.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

after riding more rides that made him almost puke your lunch out (the huge rollercoaster being the worst one out of all the others), joshua then starts dragging you by the hand, for the first time that day not being the one to be dragged around.

he seemingly knew where he was headed, his grip on your hand strong in fear not to lose you in the crowd, his broad shoulders and short hair being the only thing you could focus on.

the night was slowly setting on the sky, the stars barely visible due to all the light pollution in the park, and yet the only thing you could focus on is your lover in front of you and how warm his hand felt holding yours.

looking at him and on the whole day he organised for you today made you realise that this, right here, the person in front of you, was your true family. there hasn’t been a day since you two met where he hasn’t taken care of you and your heart. and then today? you can’t remember if you ever felt this…carefree and youthful. it had you wondering if this is how children should feel like? is this what it feels like…to have somebody love your inner child with all of its ‘faults’ and imperfections? you certainly wouldn’t know.

but looking at joshua…you just might be getting the idea about it.

you were so focused on your thoughts that you didn’t even notice where you were headed until you two were standing in front of what you could only describe as your dream come true.

a ferris wheel.

the minute you realised what was coming next, you gasped and started jumping up and down next to joshua, in process shaking him too due to him still holding onto your hand, his smile getting broader and brighter the longer he looks at you being so excited.

after a few minutes, your turn to buy tickets comes too. but for some reason, your boyfriend wasn’t quite done with being secretive and all that-because you find him whispering something to the man behind the counter, as well as handing him way more cash than the two tickets cost.

when you question him about it, he just smiles as he responds “you will see soon enough”.

your boyfriend had this weird habit, where he preferred sitting next to you rather than across from you, says that he would much rather feel pain in his neck from having to turn his head to be able to look at you than to reach across the table or whatever it is that is between you two to be able to hold your hand.

so, naturally, when you two enter the carriage, he sits right next to you.

and after a few minutes your carriage starts to move.

the view below you leaves you breathless. thousands of little lights in the distance, all twinkling in different colours. the people below you looking so incredibly small, you would’ve never guessed that they were right there, at the same place you two have spent the whole day.

you find yourself gasping and keeping your mouth open the whole time.

the fact you only realise later when joshua shows you a photo of you he took just now.

you carriage makes one full turn.

and then the second turn.

but then, on the third turn, it stops right on top.

just as you start questioning joshua what is happening, a single firework goes off in the night sky.

and then the second.

and then you lose the count of how many firework there are. multiple going off at the same time, looking like they’re fighting for the dominance, they all look so pretty, going off in so many colours and shapes.

you find yourself wondering…is this what a child feels like watching the fireworks for the very first time? it must be, because why else would you feel like this watching this beautiful sight for the very first time?

yes, your first time watching the fireworks.

something nobody ever knew about you.

not even joshua.

(or so you thought.)

after a few minutes, the magic comes to a stop, the stars now being the only thing to see in the night sky.

ever so slowly, you turn around to look at your boyfriend, a gentle smile grazing the edges of his mouth.

normally, joshua would find himself panicking at the sight of tears rolling down your cheeks. knowing (or, well, presuming) why you were crying, he just reaches with his tumb to wipe away the little droplet falling from your eyes.

to be completely honest, joshua never cared enough for firework and meteor showers like you did, probably because he has witnessed those things so many times, he forgot how surreal it must be seeing it for the very first time.

but looking at you right now, he found himself thinking one thing only.

joshua was never going to take one single firework going off for granted ever again.

smiling a little while his tumb still runs your cheek, he asks “did you like it?”

and that seems to have done it for you.

because suddenly, without any warning, you start sobbing, gripping the front of his shirt as you lower your head onto his shoulder.

joshua just hugs you closer, his hand gently patting your head.

through sobs you find yourself saying “t-thank you, thank you so much-so much f-for today, i-i can’t even- i- you make me so-so happy, you are l-literally my dream man, y-you are everything i have ever- i have always dreamed of i-i-“ breaking off in the middle of it to let out all the sobs you had to hold in in order to get your words out.

joshua suddenly brings both of his hands to your cheeks, bringing your face up and in front of his own.

with all the seriousness and honesty he possesses, he says “you are my dream come true too, baby. actually, better than any dream i have ever had. you are my reality, that’s what makes you even better.”

kissing joshua, right there, in the little carriage, you find yourself thinking one thing and one thing only.

if it were possible, you would spend decades being and feeling like a little child.

as long as you get to do it with the love of your life beside you.

[luneariaa]

ღ || you are loved.

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : kento nanami x reader.

✰ 𝐰. 𝐜. : 1k+

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : the memories of the previous events that ever happened in your life disrupts your whole thoughts. being the amazing husband he is, he comforts you during one of your bad days.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : reader having a pretty rough childhood, nanami is your husband here, men in family have shown to be giving a bad influence but none too explicit, disturbed mindset, not much proof-read, and basically just family issues. plot going nowhere near the end ig lmao.

✰ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : as someone who also had a pretty rough childhood and a rather chaotic family, i just decided to write and post it out in order to feel some sort of relief thru this. i'm so sorry to those who can relate; sending lots of love and hugs for y'all!! i'm so proud of you guys for able to make it through this day! 💛🌻

. dividers by @/cafekitsune !! 💫

To others, your family might be seen as a happy one; having positive, peaceful maintaining relationships. But no one really knows for sure, on what truly happens within that place you called home itself.

What is the purpose of it all, if not to retain a healthy, loving relationship between family members? Each one should’ve practised themselves to strengthen their familial bonds with one another.

But instead, whatever you have wished for– it’s all for nothing.

Growing up in a rather chaotic household does leave your mind dazed at times. You would sometimes even find yourself to be so confused, and believed that most people couldn’t be trusted the way they are. And it’s not by your choice, sadly, you can't help it.

Especially men, in general. You would’ve loved to believe that it’s just some sort of a generational issue, but you don’t even know yourself anymore. 

As a result of all the chaos that’s been happening for all those possible years, you’ve grown to be a quite introverted person– reclused, even, not really fond of the idea of opening up to others. It’s so hard for you to do so, especially when it’s already one of your habits that you’ve been doing for so long.

Initially, you even feared the idea of marriage as well, believing that you won’t ever meet the love of your life at all; along with the thought of you not being good enough to be someone’s wife.

But that changed when Kento Nanami came into your life some years later. Although you’re still struggling with your own habits, whether good or bad ones, Nanami always tries his best to help you with whatever he can.

You don’t even remember how and why did you agreed with having a serious relationship with him. Perhaps, you’ve seen something in him– or even, on what he gave you, provided you something that you’ve been missing from in your life itself. 

Sure, you can be quite closed off at times, even when it’s unintentional, but he always and always will try to guide you with doing the actual, right thing. 

Nanami treats you with pure, utmost respect that comes off as so natural to him; never once yelling or using any harshness at you, especially with his own words. Even when you somehow are being stubborn or so right at that moment, he would always be patient with you, and even give you some space if you needed it. 

He’s so sweet and loving, mature, responsible.. The list just keeps going on and on. Heck, he even remembers every single detail that you may have told him, your favourites, your habits, and so on.

Nanami was never the one to rush into things. He takes his tender time with it, especially when it ever comes to you.

He would always speak directly and bluntly; not intending to sugarcoat his words in a way, yet his words never did hurt your feelings. There’s just something about his honesty that draws you in further. It leaves you confused sometimes– was it even the way he talks to you?

But just by his own presence, whether his way of speaking or his actions itself; something about it heals your inner self. It soothes your soul wonderfully, like a warm sunlight coming out from the clouds after the rain occurred. You feel safe and comfortable around him over time. 

The time being spent between the two of you is never lacking or dull– with both of your personalities, which are quite the opposite from one another, complements and balances out each other so, so well. And this is due to how you both work on your relationship together as well. 

Never once does it feel forced; the deep relationship bond between you both flows ever so gently like the river, and in order for the water to continue flowing without any disturbances, it needs the mere effort from you two.

Despite everything, there’s a part of you that feels so out of place. Perhaps, there’s a side that you believed to be unlovable, and that you’re just not enough. Of course, you wouldn’t even bother to tell him since you didn’t want to potentially burden him with your own problems. 

But it’s Nanami that you’re talking about– and he’s the type to notice every single change in your expression. He can always tell if something is causing your own mind to be restless.

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” Nanami’s soft tone broke your temporary state of trance, stepping inside within their shared bedroom and gradually approaching your form. You didn’t even realize that you’ve been standing and staring in front of the mirror for several passing moments now. 

The thoughts of self-doubt and questioning about your whole existence disappears in mere seconds. 

He gently wraps his strong arms around your unmoving form; resting his chin on your shoulder while gazing back straight at your own reflection in the mirror. A small smile appears upon your lips, and didn’t even make any attempt to remove himself from you since it feels so nice at the very moment.

“Nothing.”

His touch alone is enough to soothe your own possibly hurting soul– calming and any trace of hurriedness not in sight, yet your brief answer doesn’t really ease his worries. He knows.

“I know you, darling, I know that’s a lie. You’ve been staring at yourself for the past few minutes.” Nanami didn’t even try to hide his true emotions at this point, keeping his hold around you. He didn’t have to. “Is there anything bothering you? Please tell me, I’m here to listen.”

You’re completely aware that there’s no point in lying to your beloved, so with no choice, you decided to tell him all of your pent-up troubles.

“I just don’t feel special. It’s just one of those days, you know..”

Talking it out is always one of your biggest fears and struggles, and he understands on how hard it is for you to do it every time. Instead of forcing you to speak even further, he slowly turns you around, just to give you a proper embrace. 

One that you really, really needed.

“Sometimes–” your words came out more choked out if anything due to the tears you’ve been holding back. “--I wondered what made you choose me as your wife. I’m nothing more special than just a damaged person who needs to heal and move on. But it’s hard.”

“I’m beyond happy with it, truly I do. It’s just that.. My unwanted thoughts could get in the way at times, and I just feel so troubled with myself in general. I don’t feel I deserve someone like you, and you deserve someone far more better.”

“I’m just so grateful for having you in my life– I truly do. You healed something in me, you really did. I’m just worried that whatever I do will never be enough.”

Nanami falls silent at first, which makes you worried for a while there, afraid that you might overstep with your own words of admittance. His mind is racing for a second there, contemplating each word of truth that he has to tell you.

“Darling, I chose you; I chose you out of everyone else because I wanted to.” He still couldn’t understand as much as how you could see yourself in that way. Nanami is never mad, but deep down, he’s genuinely sad at how you view yourself.

Nanami gently uses one of his hands to lift your chin up, completely making sure that you return the gaze that he’s currently giving you. “I don’t care what anyone says. You are everything that I ever wished for, and your little imperfections are what made you so perfect to me.”

“And I never intend to pick anyone else in a crowd of people– I will always choose you. If anyone ever tells you or me that you’re not special, then they’re wrong. I will prove them otherwise, I promise you.”

His gaze never once faltered from yours, wanting to make sure that you’re listening and focusing on every word he says. Your eyes alone have an effect on him, simply captivating in every sense.

It did have an effect on you– feeling yourself getting on the brink of tears, yet still trying your hardest to not have a mental breakdown in front of your beloved. Not yet.

You keep repeating, and repeating on each word that he says internally. His honest yet sweet statement has left you in a tongue-tied state. You are still not used to it sometimes, even forgetting that this man ahead of you clearly loves you dearly and possibly more than himself.

Your husband took quick notice of this, and simply held your form closer to his. The least he could do is to provide some needed comfort, and how he very much wished that he’s able to get rid of any trace of sadness that existed within you.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you..”

His voice is so soft, not once hinting any irritation whatsoever as he comforts you. You really cherish him, more than words could ever describe– even wishing that you’re able to repay his efforts.

Nanami will always guide you back, and slowly try to make you drift away from any traces of negativity that you’re facing. Of course, it’s not easy, but he’s willing to try it together with you.

Always so gentle and protective in his own way; it wouldn’t matter on how old you both are getting. The love he has for you shall remain and live on as long as he’s breathing, and he will always shield you from any potential harm from the world itself.

“Even beyond the flaws that you believed to have possessed, you are still worth everything that this world has to offer. Those little flaws are what made you, you.”

He keeps on telling you the words that he always wanted to tell you; one that is filled with complete honesty and love within it. To simply remind you on how much your existence meant to him, and it successfully pushed your emotions further to the edge– unable to contain your tears any longer.

Yet still, he continues on with his own words– all the while placing several feathery kisses onto each part of your face that he could reach. The feeling itself is quite overwhelming, yet comfortingly so, knowing that you are truly being loved by someone special. 

The past that you have endured may stay with you for as long as you live, but Nanami is willing to help; willing to create a better future instead for the both of you. For your mere sake.

“I will always love you; every single inch of you, and even your flaws. I will make sure of it– always reminding you of that.”

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.

[wonijinjin]

KIM MINGYU (+ JEON WONWOO) - BITTERSWEET

author’s note: this is a fic for the @caratsland event, it was a very long process to write but i am proud of this fic, my first true long fic and angst, hope you guys enjoy! inspired by the song bittersweet.

song recs: recommended songs for this fic are bittersweet by wonwoo mingyu and leehi (obviously hehe), i don’t understand but i luv u by seventeen,

synopsis: can two broken hearts find peace, happiness, and heal each other?

word count: 5.2k | genre: heavy angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle | pairings: wonwoo x f! reader, mingyu x f! reader | warnings: mentions of alcohol, heartbreaks, cursing, bad mental health, mentions of food, tiny bit of physical fighting

mingyu had always been in love with you, since the moment he met you; he couldn’t get you out of his head, it was something about the way you smiled at him or the way your eyes lit up when you saw him. just like as if he was put under a magical spell, he was mesmerised by you, he felt like you were his soulmate.

except, this was not a fairytale. this was real life.

“hey, you seem like you just got dumped or something let me treat you to a drink, okay?” a guy next to you observed.

he could recall the the first time you two had met like it was yesterday. it happened to be in a place odd enough; a bar. you had the first heartache of your life and went out to drink your pain away and happened to sit next to him at the bar.

“is it that obvious?” you laughed weakly. he offered a grin in return. “i know a broken heart when i see one.” he said with the same smile on his face. “speaking from experience?” you blurted, a bit tipsy, hands clamping onto your mouth following the remark. his soft look saddened. “sorry, didn’t wanna pry into your life.” you apologised, shame rising in you. “no worries.” he said reassuringly. he saw your almost empty glass and got back to the topic. “so, which one is the lucky drink today?” he joked, motioning for you to choose one from the menu on the table. “surprise me.” you said, playing along with his silly game. “my pleasure.” he faked a bow in sitting position, tilting his head. “you have to turn around or at least not look at the drink, it isn’t gonna be a surprise if you do.” he emphasized, “don’t worry, i am not gonna put anything in it, she can assure you about that, right?” he projected his gaze towards the bartender who nodded siletly. “okay then, but it better be good.” you giggled, twisting your body in the opposite direction so you couldn’t see the drink itself. after the bartender finished the mysterious beverage, she handed it to you, and you accepted it. “thanks.” you returned her kind smile and took a sip of your drink, not knowing what kind of alcohol it contained. “tequila? you have a good taste.” you said after tasting the medicine-like bitterness on your tongue. he laughed out loud. “it is said to be curing heartbreaks.” he told. “i mean it is indeed bitter, might as well be the solution for stress too, isn’t it?” you mumbled in a melancolic tone. he put his hand out for you to shake. “i’m mingyu by the way.” he grinned. you couldn’t surpress the smile that made its way onto your face, and shook his hand firmly. “y/n. nice to meet you, mingyu.”

“i can’t believe you don’t want to tell me his name, after all the times i heard you dreaming about him in front of me! you know how sappy you can be when daydreaming?” fast forward to three years later you guys were sitting in your bedroom, and mingyu was listening to your rambles about your long time crush, jeon wonwoo. he didn’t know it was him though, of course he didn’t know; wonwoo was initially a friend of his, but after stepping foot into mingyu’s inner circle years ago you got to know him yourself, and fell for him. hard. mingyu didn’t know how hard it was to not let him in on this, you truly wished you could have his support, but you had no choice. he was your best friend; you really appreciated mingyu with a full heart, but you just couldn’t tell him your biggest secret, not after failing in love so many times, after all the occasions he had to pick up and glue back together the broken pieces of your heart, you wanted to spare him from having to deal with your bullshit for another time, even so having the possibility of choosing between his friend and you if things didn’t end well.

”y/n, we have been over this so many times, you should ask him out already! i cannot go another week, no, another minute with you whining about it!” he teased you, resulting in you blushing. he loved seeing you blush; you were really pretty with a dust of pink on your face, especially if he knew he was the reason why you got shy. “mingyu, stop! i already told you i am not about to get my heart broken another time!” when you said this sentence he became more serious. he was there for you after you two had met at the bar and you suffered the consequences of a rejection from the first guy you loved in your life. and he had been there for all the heartbreaks ever since, building your confidence up again and again, from nothing. he knew how much that hurt you and on second thought he never wished to see you in that state ever again. “you know what, i might as well take that back.” he agreed, to which you looked at your knees, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. he understood well what played out in your head; he knew you like the back of his hand. he forced you to look into his eyes, a firm look on his face. “look, i don’t want you to get that sad you were when we met. you are my best friend.” he paused for a moment. “all i want is to see you happy. however, for once, you need your happy ending, and that takes many tries sometimes.” you gave him a sad smile. “i know you do, mingyu, i know. and thank you for being here and supporting me. one day i will tell you about him. be patient. please?” you pleaded, and he gave you a determined nod, getting on with your conversation, putting this heavy topic aside for your sake.

“i am so sorry y/n, but i am afraid that i can’t reciprocate your feelings.” wonwoo said, but you didn’t hear it. all you could focus on was holding your tears back, so you didn’t seem any more patethic than you already were, pouring out your heart to him, getting it shattered into millions of pieces. you asked him to meet you at the park for a walk, thinking your next move through after your conversation with mingyu and deciding that you had enough of the waiting and you needed to confess. well, it was definitely a stupid idea. you honestly didn’t know what you had expected; you saw the way he looked at that one girl from the coffee shop he worked at part time, they worked together most of the time, being almost the only ones who ran the place besides the owner. he obviously liked her, not you, but you confessed anyways, what a waste of time and energy.

“it is totally fine wonwoo, it’s okay, no worries! let’s just forget this ever happened, okay?” it was not fine. you were not fine, but still managed to put a forced smile on your face, as big as it could get. “but i should really go now, i forgot about something!” you turned on your heels, choking back the tears you had been holding. “but y/n wait-“ he said but you cut him off. “see you later, bye!” you managed to get out while already running away. you didn’t know where your legs were taking you, but one thing was sure; anywhere just to be away from wonwoo. while hurrying to go to a quieter place to let your emotions out you bumped into someone. “sorry.” you stuttered; when you looked up above the wide shoulders in your vision you saw mingyu’s face with confusion written all over it. his eyes widened “what are you doing here-“ he tried to question, but you pushed him away and started running down the street. “what is going on?” he shouted after you, but didn’t follow; he knew you and how you liked to have your space when getting upset over something, so he never forced you to talk about the issues with him. he would always just text you right after hearing the news and eventually you would come to him yourself; you always did.

but not this time.

he waited for days.

weeks.

months.

you never spoke about what happened that day and what upset you, or about the thing that made you distance yourself from your friends, including him. after that particular day he rarely saw you, and when he did it was only on occasions when just the two of you hung out; that was all he could get you to do, very rarely. when the other guys organised group gatherings you usually cancelled them with some lame excuse last minute; he never believed them, but he stayed silent.

after another few weeks of the situation not getting better he wanted to take action to find out what was wrong, so he made a plan to invite you for a drink at your favourite place.

“mingyu i am very busy and you know that.” you said over the phone when he called you in the afternoon. there was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. “please, we haven’t hung out in like, forever. i miss you, y/n. i really do.” your heart jumped in fear; you had been avoiding all your friends on purpose, but not mingyu, no, you would never want to do that to him. you felt guilt creeping up on you as you could imagine his big puppy dog eyes looking at you, pleading for you to soften and give in to him, which you of couse did. you sighed. “you may be right, i did neglect our friendship. i am sorry mingyu. so, where are we going?” he shouted in excitement. “yes! i knew you would give in to me y/n, you cannot resist me.” he joked to which even if he couldn’t see it, you raised an eyebrow and rolled your eyes. “in your dreams, silly.” you answered. “we are going to your favourite bar! just like old times, remember?” he giggled; that place held so many memories to both of you, laughing or crying, didn’t matter, you loved being there with him. “so just the usual, got it. see you there, text me the exact date. bye mingyu.” you hung up, worry already being heavy on your shoulders; you knew you had to come clean about what happened months ago. although mingyu knew you very well, you did too, so you didn’t doubt that eventually he would ask about the reason of your social distancing, looking like that time had come.

mingyu greeted you at the usual seats in the corner of one of the private rooms; they were basically reserved for you guys, considering how many times you had been sitting in them, talking about this and that, in this case your love life being on the menu of the chit-chat. “so y/n, let’s get to the point.” he started, and you already knew the continuation. “i think you understand why i called you here without me needing to explain in detail. it has been months since that incident. so, tell me. what’s up? are you okay?” he pouted. mingyu was an emotional guy, he really cared for the well-being of his closest friends and he always made it his mission to help them, you frequently being one of his top priorities. if he wanted to be honest he cared for you ten times more than his other friends, they could solve their problems on their own; however, you relied on him a lot, which he didn’t mind; he got used to it pretty quickly, enjoying being trusted by the person whom he adored so much in this world. you looked at him with a heavy heart, tension being so nerve-wrecking while you contemplated whether you would make the right choice by speaking about wonwoo. “sorry ‘gyu, i just couldn’t bring myself to tell you, but i guess now i cannot run away, i know you would figure it out yourself anyways” you turned to him, talking slowly. he listened attentively, encouraging you to go on. “…so here i am, telling you the secret you have been so eager to know. i should start at the very beginning, right?”

“then he rejected me.” you cried into his chest, his arms wrapping around your form protectively. “he fucking rejected me! after all the years i have spent loving him from a distance i succesfully mustered up the courage to tell him, and this is what i get mingyu!” your cries continued steadily, and mingyu was quick to stroke your hair, patting it repeatedly. “why does nobody i love loves me back? do i not deserve happiness in life? am i unloveable, ‘gyu?” you looked into his eyes, tears pricking your own; he could see the pain you had been through in the past few months. he knew how hard it was for you to get over even a crush, not talking about real love. he could see it on you; that you really loved wonwoo, sincerely. it was easy to tell, really; if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been so upset for this long. and this is exactly why he was really mad at his friend for breaking your heart. “of course you are loveable y/n. gosh, you are the most loveable person i have ever known, so stop with the nonsense. he doesn’t deserve you. he doesn’t deserve the love you have in you, the jokes you make that make everyone want to laugh immediately, the look you give to people you adore and respect, the way your eyes light up when you see a cute dog, or the way you cannot resist those delicious cookies they sell at the bakery next to your apartment and buy them every time they have them freshly out from the oven. he wouldn’t appreciate the meals you cook by yourself and decide to share with your friends, the kind words you have towards everyone, every day, or the help you offer to others without hesitation, even if it puts you at a disadvantage.” he finished his monologue, taking your hands into his. “you deserve the most happiness there is on this planet.” he whispered, almost looking like he was afraid if he said it any louder you would disappear into thin air. “do you really think so?” you mumbled, voice hoarse from crying so much in the span of an hour. “i know so.” he said gently, hugging you softly. “so, is this the reason why you have been avoiding the group meetings? you didn’t want to look into his eyes after the confession?” he gave you a knowing look, having caught on pretty quickly, not to your surprise though; mingyu was a smart guy, he connected the dots easily. you just nodded silently, too embarrassed to say anything about it. it wasn’t the first time you had gotten emotional with mingyu, but this felt different; you weren’t that young anymore, it wasn’t a silly little crush, or a minor inconvenience. regardless, it felt great to have him back and involved with your life again, after these painfully long weeks you admittedly missed his presence an awful lot. you grew more tired with time and closed your eyes when you heard him whisper. ”everything will be okay y/n.” he promised, and you started to believe him.

“so, it was you all along. i should’ve known.” mingyu laughed bitterly while walking up to wonwoo; they were in the practice room, tension already high thanks to new choreography, however the pair had been holding back as much as they could, until the day mingyu found out about you and wonwoo. he squeezed wonwoo’s shoulder, maybe a bit harder than comfortable or necessary. “gosh, i don’t understand. what’s so special about you?” he wondered out loud regarding the rethorical question, gritting his teeth, clearly for the other to hear it. “what is your problem mingyu? what the hell are you even talking about?” the shorter one quizzed, not getting the point of mingyu’s words. “you literally broke y/n’s heart. never took you for the type to hurt others.” mingyu spat out, disgusted by the words rolling off his tongue. realisation hit wonwoo, and he frowned upon remembering the memory. “i wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings.” wonwoo calmly replied. “damn brother, you really outdid yourself with that one there.” mingyu commented again while not even paying attention to his friend, walking away. after this wonwoo couldn’t stay silent; he grabbed mingyu and made him look into his black eyes, dangerously shining. “what the fuck ‘gyu? yes, i didn’t reciprocate y/n’s feelings, so what? im sorry, but should i just ignore what my heart says just to save her from heartbreak? look, she will get over it. this doesn’t work like that, but you seem to be having no idea of what love is like-“ “shut the fuck up! you think i don’t know that? that what the heart wants the heart wants? i love her! i love her and she loves you out of all people!” mingyu screamed at him in frustration. “you should’ve made her happy. happier. she deserves happiness with the person she loves the most, even if it’s not me, even it is you, asshole.” mingyu sighed, disappointed. wonwoo’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth with his hands. “so this is what this was all about, your crush on y/n. how couldn’t i notice it earlier?” he wondered in a surprised tone, to which mingyu kicked him in the shin. “of course, yell it out to the whole world, would you?” he mocked wonwoo who kicked him back in the process. “ouch!” the taller one yelped. “this was for yelling at me,” wonwoo stated, “…and this one is for being this big of a coward to tell her how you feel and blaming it on me.” and with that he slapped mingyu’s arm, the man groaning in pain from the impact.

“love really took the remaining braincells in your head didn’t it? stand up for yourself for god’s sake!” wonwoo lectured, wanting mingyu to cut him some slack because he rarely had anything to do with his anger. “you are the one she loves, not me, i will forever stay the best friend in her eyes. my hands are tied here, brother. can’t you give her a chance? just a few dates? maybe you could get to know her a bit more and fall in love.” mingyu suggested in a low tone, not very fond of the idea, but rather desperate to make your dreams come true; he just wanted you to be truly content with your life, even though if it meant getting you together with his friend, he swore on bringing the moon and the stars to you just to see your happiness, even if it broke him into pieces. “seriously? you know that me talking to her will cause more damage, right? and how shitty of a person you think i am to date someone my best friend loves?” wonwoo sighed, scolding mingyu for not thinking more rationally. “i can get over her, but whatever, forget about it.” mingyu said and then stormed out of the practice room. wonwoo followed him and grabbed his arm. “fine, if this is what you want i will do it. then tell her to text me, because i don’t think she even wants to talk to me. she didn’t even wait for me to finish! i didn’t want to sound so harsh, but i didn’t even have the chance to say anything because she stormed off just like you did now!” wonwoo was grumpy, mad even; he liked you, you were a great friend, he just couldn’t see you in a different light, he had never intended to hurt your feelings. “good, i will. i know she hasn’t gotten over you.” mingyu smiled a bit, wonwoo letting his arm go.

mingyu hadn’t heard from you in a few days and you hadn’t been replying to his messages so he decided to surprise you by going to your workplace after your day ended to pick you up and go out to eat something delicious together, but when he arrived at the building and went inside unexpected news greeted him. “what do you mean she hasn’t been to work?” he asked the recetionist at the ground floor after hearig that you weren’t working. “like i said; she has been on sick leave for a few days already.” he was at a loss of words; why didn’t you tell him that you were sick? you knew he could cook you some soup and help if you felt that bad. regardless, he got into his car after thanking the lady for the help and drove to your apartment. after arriving at your doorstep he knocked on the door, but no answer came from you. “y/n? are you there? i heard that you were sick.” again, silence. “i know where you keep your spare key, so if you don’t open the door i will come in myself, don’t do this to me y/n.” he pleaded, trying to keep his cool and not think about how you could be passed out on the floor and seriously hurt, that being the reason why you never replied to him in the first place. he took the key from underneath the mat in front of the door and stepped inside. there was darkness everywhere around the house, only a small source of light coming out from under your bedroom door which was closed. he hurried through the hall where he could clearly make out your crying through the walls. “y/n? are you in here?” following his question the wailing stopped and he heard a gasp, then the door opened, revealing a very tired you; messy hair, dark circles under your eyes, which were by the way red from crying. “aww what’s wrong?” mingyu asked, pulling you into a hug. “at your office they said you were sick. are you?” he asked, not even waiting for an answer, already putting his hand on your forehead. you pushed it away. “no, i’m not. i lied to them. i lied because i am not okay, ‘gyu.” you sobbed, feeling pathetic that you couldn’t get over the heartbreak of wonwoo rejecting you, even though it had been a long time since the incident. “look, i know it hurts, but life goes on y/n. you can’t hide from everyone forever just because someone hurt you. you know how much i love you and how much pain i am in seeing you suffer, but you need to get it together.” you looked up at him, admitting that you indeed had to sort your feelings out. “and also, i might have a solution for you. what if i said that wonwoo wants to hang out with you?” he grinned, looking kind of crazy from your perspective. “mingyu this is not funny!” you pouted, not believing that he would joke about this; this was really out of line from him. “i am being serious y/n, you would know if you read my messages! i sent like a dozen of them that i had important news. he said he wanted to talk to you, maybe go to the park or something? like on a walk? whatever, you two can figure that out yourselves, point is that i delivered his message. now go text him.” he urged you to take action, and being the good girl you are you put your fear aside, accepted his help and texted wonwoo.

it had been months after the first text message regarding the ‘getting to know each other’ agreement between wonwoo and you, and things seemed to be working out pretty well for the two of you, feeling closer and closer to each other day by day. you had to admit, he was an exceptional person with values similar to yours, you had never ever imagined to be clicking with him so quickly; you hoped he felt the same.

“i heard that you and wonwoo get along really well y/n.” mingyu mentioned while walking along the line of the pavement in front of you when the two of you went for grocery shopping for a party the friends of mingyu had been planning for several weeks. you tilted your head and turned it in his direction; you had been talking to and meeting up with wonwoo after sorting things out about the confession, but didn’t expect him to tell mingyu how it had been going.

“did wonwoo talk about me? wow that’s impressive, it really means we are going in a good direction i suppose.” you wondered; you were not sure about where you pre-dating stage was going to lead you as you had not been in contact with wonwoo as much because all of you guys had busy schedules. “yeah, i think he is starting to fall for you. good job!” mingyu patted the crown of your head, just like when the teacher praises the elementary school students for getting an answer right on a test. you had been brighter in the last months, even considering how nothing was guaranteed with wonwoo, taking it slow, you most certainly did look happier, him assuming it must be already enough for your confidence and joy levels to rise to be able to do something with wonwoo, even as friends for the time being. however, mingyu’s heart had been slowly shattering into more pieces by the day; his feelings for you became stronger with time, after you searching for comfort in him on that night at the bar he just couldn’t stop himself from falling for you harder, even with knowing you wouldn’t return those feelings. he had been working on trying to accept the situation, trying to accept his place and role in your life as your best friend; it was not easy.

you chuckled at his action, winking at him in return. “what can i say? it looks like i am irresistable after all, don’t you think?” his face changed very quickly, though it was barely noticeable; for a moment his eyes grew sadder but he regained his composure in just a second and put on a big smile for you. “yeah, i told you so. now let’s get that grocery shopping done.”

when you arrived at the party after going home following the shopping trip to get ready many people had been there already; it was hard to find anyone you knew. you spotted mingyu in the crowd and he locked eyes with you, waving. “y/n! come here!” he shouted through the noise of the music and you pushed yourself through the wave of people in the living room. “hi.“ you greeted the others shyly; it had been many weeks since you participated in a group activity, since the incident with wonwoo. you came because you missed the boys; you didn’t treat them well and they didn;t deserve it, they had always took care of you like you were their family. “hi y/n, nice to have you here.” wonwoo, who just arrived with a few drinks added, giving you a smile.

“can i have this dance?” wonwoo questioned when taking the empty place next to your right side; you were dancing with mingyu to one of your favourite songs, bodies moving to the rhythm in sync. you took a peak at mingyu’s face, looking for a sign that he heard the question too. he gave you a quick nod and let go of your hand, wonwoo taking it instead and leading you further into the crowd of friends. mingyu watched as the two pair of you and wonwoo laughed and talked while moving on the makeshift dancefloor in the room, then disappearing from sight. he stared into the distance with a sad smile on his face, every nerve in his body concentrating on not lettng him be bitter about it and trying to encourage himself to be happy for you; afterall it was what you wanted, wonwoo’s love.

as mingyu turned around the corner of the hallway he caught a glimpse of wonwoo leaning in and slowly kissing you by the kitchen counter, your hands moving to link behind his neck, him pulling you closer, flush against his body. you were lost in the moment so you didn’t hear mingyu’s footsteps come into the room. “oh.” this was all he could manage to get out, words light as a feathery whisper, freezing in place for several seconds, watching the scene unfold in front of him. after seemingly regaining his composure he turned around his heels, planning on going back to the party in the living room. his steps were long, slow even, dragging his limbs like he didn’t have the energy to move forward in any sense possible; he entered the bathroom instead of the space where everybody had been enjoying their night, standing in front of the mirror, watching himself in it closely. he watched as the teardrop he knew he had been holding in slid down his cheek and dropped to the sink below, as the smile he put on for the entire night disappeared, more tears starting to fall with it.

mingyu was a strong person, there was no doubt in that; but even the strongest fighters and warriors get wounded. he let go of the white surface, slowly opening the door as quietly as he could, taking his coat from the hanger it had been placed on before. upon stepping outside into the night he sent a text to his friend informing him about him leaving so they wouldn’t get too worried. he got into the car, driving down the road, arriving at a familiar place; the bar. he bought a drink, then made his way into the usual room, sitting down in the chair which used to be yours, where the two of you would chat for hours about random topics, where he realised that he was falling for you; where it all started. he closed his watery eyes and held his breath, silence and stillness surrounding the place, not the slightest trace of anyone’s presence there, not even his, like he wanted to believe he could vanish if he tried hard enough.

he exhaled; staring at the ceiling, tears continuously coming from those sad chocolate brown orbs, every beat of his heart, the heart that had been beating for you all this time, tearing it a bit further apart. eventually the tears stopped, only a shaky sigh being left behind, mouth open, words forming, but not yet ready to come out. mingyu’s hand reached his cheeks, brushing away the evidence of his walls crumbling down, lifting the drink to his mouth, taking a sip from it.

“goodbye my love.” he whispered to himself while the sip of tequila entered his taste buds; it had never been this bitter.

[vitaminseetarot]

Last Quarter Moon PAC: What Are You Harvesting? 🌗🍓🍹

Welcome, one and all, to my last chapter of the four-part moon series! In the beginning, all we had was the seed of potential. We then added some tender love and compost, tending to its stretching stems and budding leaves. We then sat back and witnessed the colorful flower blooming forth, reflecting our work well done.

Now it's finally time to take a look at what will be harvested from this growth. How will it sweeten your life? How will it ensure that more growth can continue to the next month? What blessings will at last be bestowed that will, with careful preservation, last through the winter and beyond?

Take a peek at the three packages of fruit you see down below. These are of the frozen kind so they will last for many smoothies and muffins to come. (Brand names are blotted out for your convenience.)

Pile 1 - Chilly Blueberries Pile 2 - Snowy Strawberries Pile 3 - Frosty Plums

Pile 1

Cards: Four of Swords, Three of Cups, Nine of Cups; Dandelion Wish, Avocado - Prosperity, Scorpio Moon - Camouflage, 6 - Freedom

I guess it works that I called this the Chilly Blueberry pile cause it seems like you're just looking to chill. You've been through the long haul this last month, and for you the growth hasn't come easily. Now you're being greatly encouraged to kick back and relax for the last few days of the season remaining.

You've been spending a great amount of time working on your internal issues. This pile has done some immense shadow work, and perhaps you sense that you're still in the thick of it, laying low and addressing some old fears. These fears may have to do with something you've been wishing and longing for. There's almost a feeling of treating shadow work as a full time job, wanting to purge and clear as much as possible to make room for desires. Which isn't a bad thing! It can be the recommended thing for many people (like one of the other piles, per example wink), but there's also such a thing as overdoing it. Sometimes you get to a place where you've squeezed out every tear cried out and felt the rock bottom of rock bottom, where you're hitting impenetrable bedrock. Pile 1, this is your reminder that you've been doing GREAT work improving yourself, but now it's time to breathe.

You're going to be harvesting peace, relaxation, a chance to decompress and distract yourself with good times. Your friends could be trying to pull you out of the house or into a discord chat -- join them! Don't let yourself get distracted by the heavy emotions at this time. Not all shadow work is productive, like with anything it can be habitual and keep you ruminating in a little loop. You are protected as far as social relations are concerned. You're being given the space to relate your deep inner work with the work others have been doing. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to be in the thick of some deep karmic issues, only to find out a close friend or even acquaintance has been going through a similar ordeal.

Right now, even with all the freaky planet shit happening out there, don't think that the next few months will be like your last few. You're gonna undergo a subtle transformation on your own naturally after this harvest. You'll be moving into a place of wish making and abundance. This may even boost your sense of financial freedom. It could be that some of your shadow work involved money, but I'm really getting abundance in general with this pile. You don't have to overwork yourself to get to that place, pile 1, you're already approaching it. There's no need to get a 100% completion rating on your spiritual practice. You're not being rewarded for hard work, you're being rewarded because you're in the right place and time to be receiving the abundance coming for you. The shadow work is to help you get in a better mindset and receive without letting old baggage get in the way. It's not a forever thing.

Pile 2

Cards: Five of Pentacles, King of Pentacles, Page of Cups; Turtle Creek, Strawberry - Affection, Leo Rising - Shine, 5 - Heart Healing

How awesome is it that you got the strawberry card for your strawberry reading?! Maybe you just really like eating them; the card does talk about affection after all! With Leo Rising, I'm feeling that this pile has been really affected by the Leo Venus retrograde. Lucky for you, the planet will station direct in a few days, gradually bringing back in a feeling of overall sweetness to your life like a tide coming in.

It could have been that your self-worth took a small hit in some way. Some things may have happened that tested you just a little too much. You wanted more out of your circumstances, but when you ask and ask your spirit guides and higher self and nothing seems to happen on the surface at the end of the day, that can really wreck confidence over time. You'd hear things like "maybe it's just not meant for you," to which you'd respond, "then what is?" You're about to gain a lot more clarity as to what is for you, and that no matter what your doubts say, pile 2, you deserve this!

That belief is very important--it keeps you from creating blind spots where opportunities lie. I felt relief pulling the King of Pentacles in the middle. The King does not think at all about what he deserves, he simply has it. He listened to that one random shampoo commercial's message "because you're worth it, baby" and stuck to that philosophy for the rest of his life. He needed this confidence because with Pentacles (and as hinted by your Turtle Creek card), success doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if something is going to work out in the long run. We often have to wave our hair around like supermodels and strut our stuff as though we know it will anyway. (I just got "Good As Hell" by Lizzo in my head. You might benefit from pampering yourself a little to remind yourself of your worthiness.)

There's going to be a moment of inspiration that comes to you this harvest, like an artistic idea or emotional epiphany that will flood through your slow moving creek. Page of Cups doesn't see you as really stuck, but will help push you along either way. Your lack mentality is being restored to a fullness mentality, and with this comes a strong wave of emotional resolution. Letting yourself feel the hurt of lack for just a moment in time can help you clear it out of your system to make room for healthier and better feelings that actually stick. You're allowed to set down your doubts for now and be more vulnerable and open to giving and receiving. It may not seem so, but vulnerability is important to creating flow, and flow is when we sense that we are moving with life and not against it, so that naturally things will work out for us. When you're ready to open your doors to life with softness and tender affection, so will the doors to what you've been dreaming of.

Pile 3

Cards: VII Chariot, Queen of Swords, Ten of Cups; Cottage Hill, Watermelon - Fun, Sagittarius Rising - Adventure, 9 - Self Acceptance

Before I flipped over your cards, I looked at the Cottage Hill card and imagined how cozy you've been for the last while, maybe a season or two where you stayed home and felt comfortable. I even channeled a feeling of enjoying old familiar songs and games. Then I turned the cards around and got the exact opposite message!

Your cards are nudging towards pushing yourself out there and taking in the goodness of life without getting muddled in the details. You've been in a state of analysis (paralysis?) for some time, and the only thing you're harvesting, whether you like it or not, is the chance to go out and enjoy yourself. It doesn't have to involve others, it can be just you looking to try something new (maybe rock climbing isn't in your taste, but there are many other things to explore). Forgive me for saying this, but we all know what dried plums are: prunes. And what do prunes help with? Of course, getting things going! The Chariot isn't always a card of traveling, but you are specifically having your travel experiences sweetened this time around. A dash of spontaneity and whimsy has been added to your harvest. There is stuff out there waiting for you to see it and experience it for yourself.

Please don't think that this time to run around and enjoy yourself is a waste of time, pile 3. Do you know how hard it is to want to move ahead when you have 6-8 planets in retrograde? Cut yourself a bit of slack. Being a successful human being doesn't mean never allowing yourself to feel content with the present, especially since for many people being successful means exactly that. You also never know what these greater experiences could bring you in the long run. A good time spent away can be like a shower that prepares you for the next big thing to tackle. It could be hiding blessings in between, waiting for you to seize them.

The Queen is Swords approaches everything with discernment, so you can work with her energy by finding out what sort of thing you would like to do or see next. It doesn't mean planning every single thing out. The best itineraries keep you from getting lost from point A to point B, while also leaving room for exploration. Maybe you'd be interested in joining a computer programming class, for example. It doesn't mean you have to sign up for the full major. Taking things a step at a time can really help you determine what's better for you further down the road. Self-Acceptance card talks about how to deal with our tendency to self-contradict. There's a part of you what wants to move ahead, and part of you that wants to stay put in the comfort zone. Plan out your "itinerary" so you're not caught in black-and-white thinking. If you're feeling the resistance to move, just try it a little at a time. You'll have a lot more fun this way.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[xxsycamore]

𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋'𝐒 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒

↬ 💢 You wish that Theo would stop being a rude tease, even if just for one day. Your wish is soon granted.

Theodorus van Gogh x f!Reader • rating: G • tags: Fluff; Domestic Fluff; Breakfast in bed; Birthday Fluff • wordcount: 1,411 • masterlist

a/n: TODAY IS @yarnnerdally 'S BDAY!! She said everything is about Nanami today bcs of their shared birthday, I decided to prove her wrong and surprise her with a little something with another lover of hers because she deserves ALL the love, not just Nanamin's ~ Happy Birthday, dear Ally!!! I hope you have tons of fun today, I'm sending you a thousand hugs!! ILY SO MUCH!! 💕💕💕💕

"I already told you I got the day off today. Seriously. One would think you'd become less of an airhead with age."

"I just wasn't sure! Jeez! You're married to your job anyway, why would my birthday be special enough to part with it even for a day..."

Theo mirrors your own frown, forking some of his dinner in the meantime. How dare you consider such a thing? You're the most important person in his life now - is it so far-fetched and not obvious that he'd put time and effort into celebrating the birthday of his beloved? Not having yet delved into the delicious-looking meal that you've prepared for him, he quickly stands up and comes to your side to steal a kiss.

Your giggles are bringing a smile to his own face too, all hints of frowning now in the past. Theo finds himself tugged by the tie for another kiss before he can retreat to his seat, but he shakes his head firmly.

"No dessert before dinner. Or do you really like acting immature that much?"

"I wish you weren't such a rude tease for ONE DAY, Theo... hmph."

💙 - 💙 - 💙 -💙 - 💙

It's like the gentle caress of an angel brushing across your cheek when your senses start to awaken naturally, undisturbed by alarming noises calling for an early start to yet another busy day. Waking up on your own, in a good mood, when the sun is already high in the sky... it's a birthday present on its own already, and you lazily stretch out your limbs to embrace it.

It's then that you realize the gentle caress from earlier is not a fragment of your still dream-dazed imagination, but it doesn't belong to an angel either - it's the hand of none other than your own personal devil, Theodorus van Gogh.

"Hehe...Good Morning to you too, Theo."

"Morning, schat. Happy Birthday."

Oh, you could get used to this. Though you've heard many words of sweetness in Dutch fall from those perfect lips of his, they're always a special treat, even more so when accompanied by the gentleness of his strong hands. You lean into the touch, eyelids falling closed as if you're ready to spend the entirety of the sunny summer day between the sheets with him and call it a day well spent. Theo is used to spending very little time in bed before starting his day, so you make the best of his cuddly mood, playfully entangling your legs in his under the sheets, as if to keep him where he is for longer.

Theo answers by pulling himself even closer to you, his chest now pressed firmly against your back as he cuddles you from behind. You hum a little in surprise, but it comes out almost as a purr instead.

"Still sleepy, Theo? You couldn't get enough sleep?"

"Oh no, I'm fine. It just seemed like you wanted me to hold you for awhile."

Oh. Well, he read you perfectly, then.

"Hah... with how many things we planned for the day last night, here I thought you'd call me lazy for lounging in bed at this hour."

Theo's feather-light caresses move to trace the curve of your shoulder and get distracted with playing with your hair just like you love it.

"Why would I call you lazy? It's your birthday. You can do whatever you want. Get some rest, everything else can wait."

If you thought you were all relaxed up until now, then those words turned you into a content puddle of inner peacefulness. You're floating on the cloud that your shared bed is, your body light, your sprawling about justified by the words of a workaholic. It's the best medicine.

"Hmm, I guess I have to listen to you, then. You're always right. Though, things can always get even more self-indulgent..."

"Would you like me to do something for you?"

How attentive, the suggestion coming before you can even finish your thought. Maybe you should take advantage of this.

"I was thinking of breakfast in bed, but I'd hate to be the only one bringing food in here while you're just watching...since you hate bringing your syrup-drenched pancakes anywhere near the bed."

"Well, I guess it's time for your first birthday surprise then."

Leaving you alone in bed with only the big imaginary question mark looming over your head, you raise yourself to a seated position in bed, gripping the sheets into your palms to get some sense of reality in this rather dream-like situation. The sound of his footsteps comes closer again so quickly that you have no time for guessing for yourself. He's holding a silver tray with a rich breakfast for two on it, carefully placing it in the center of the bed in front of you.

"If the eggs have gone cold i'll fry you new ones. You like them done this, right? Or if you want me to change anything else, I'll do that too. I'm not too keen on making breakfast, unfortunately."

"Oh, no, please, Theo, you did amazing! There are so many delicacies here... this is a breakfast for a king!"

"Or a Queen." Theo remarks, an imprint of his smirking lips appearing on your cheek as he leans in close to smooch it.

Your reaching for the utensils is interrupted by the raising undercurrent of suspicion coated in sweetness. This is not ignorable anymore, and you rest your arms on your sides again as you look him in the eye.

"Okay Theo, what's wrong with you today?"

"...Wrong? Have I said something bad?"

"No! You're just- so considerable and gentle and-"

The nerve furrowing Theo's brow is old and familiar, a friend you're glad to meet again, almost.

"I'm normally considerable and gentle with the ones I love. Darling."

He's definitely trying if anything, and now you're guilty for claiming the opposite. You know his soft side better than anyone; his protectiveness, his determination to always put you first and foremost and to melt you with gestures of sweet, sweet love. That's your Theo. Yet being bombed with all of those little acts of affection first thing in the morning couldn't not make you look for a reason behind them, stupid as it might sound.

Theo sighs, seeing that his smart girl saw through his plan right away, even though it's only just been set in motion. Picking up a strawberry from the food tray and lifting it to your lips, he makes his confession.

"You said that you wanted me to stop being...'a rude tease' for one day. I've already prepared some other surprises for you but I thought one more gift wouldn't hurt."

This is...something you said last night at diner. And Theo not only remembered your little remark of frustration, but committed to fixing his attitude overnight just to please you. Now that's a surprise.

"Theo...! Oh my god. No, please, I love you just as you are! I love your sharp tongue and how brash you are sometimes, and I know well enough you don't mean it if you accidentally say something mean... Theo, I fell in love with you even the way you were in the beginning, do you seriously think I'd rather you act differently now?"

Theo's pretty aquamarine eyes widen all for you to admire, and sure enough, it captivates you enough to forget the strawberry offered to you. That's Theo's chance to withdraw his hand and...to pop the little red fruit right into his mouth instead.

"Hey!"

"Gods. Thank you. I'm glad to hear that, because... you seemed so happy just now. You deserve all of this, liefje, and while it comes naturally to do anything I can to make you happy, I wasn't sure if I'm doing it correctly."

"What, loving me? You've always been perfect at it, Theo. I want your love just as I know it."

"Hm." He takes another strawberry between his fingers, ready to correct his earlier teasing and reward you instead. Before you can bite into it, he withdraws just to add, "Hope you don't regret it much. I plan to give lots of love to my birthday girl today."

You chuckle bashfully, trying not to show just how much you're looking forward to it. While he's not forbidden from making another joke about you being excited like a little kid, you surely will try to prevent the idea from getting in his head in the first place.

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran    @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @galaxyprison @sadshaxk @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @canaria-blackwell @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 ​ @ikemenlover24 @violettduchess @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[allylikethecat]

i saw you post about ao3 etiquette and i wanna say if anyone has been mean to ally i will fight you

Haha I have been very lucky that for the most part people have been so kind and lovely and wonderful and supportive! ❤️ I did have one experience with an anon (On AO3 and on Tumblr) that wasn't very nice over the summer, but I know their anger was coming from a place of their own personal hurt. While I was upset in the moment I have some very lovely mutuals who were so kind and supportive and encouraging. These days I hope that user is doing better and that they have been able to find their own inner peace. My mom always says that "hurt people, hurt people" and I just really hope they are doing well and wish I could have helped in some way.

BUT I don't think it's a bad idea to remember that we are all doing this for FREE and for FUN and if you come across a fic that you don't agree with, are triggered by, or that contains content you don't enjoy, it is your responsibility as a reader to hit the back button and remove yourself from that situation, especially when tags are used appropriately as well as additional, more detailed warnings in the author's note. Everyone has different life experiences and something that might be triggering and upsetting to one person, could be a way to heal and process for someone else. One person's trauma and life experience is not more valid or more "correct" than someone else's and personally I find it really important that we treat everyone and their experiences with respect. If I'm upset or bothered by something, or even just that I don't really like, I know that I personally will go "hm this fic must not be for me" and then go and find one that is.

And on that note! Thank you so much for the support 🥰 (No need to fight anyone though! We are all here to have a good time and my goal at least here on my blog is to cultivate the happy good vibes!) Thank you for sending in this ask! I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying my fics and I hope you continue to do so! Happy Monday and have a great week!

❤️Ally

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity, since it is my last chance, I thought about asking you a question: do you have any advice for an enneagram 1 (isfj sp/so) woman in her 30s on how to be a better person and have a better life in general? (I know, it is a very 1 question :-D)

And, more specifically, on how to deal with my 9 mother who thinks that if you ignore a problem long enough the problem will just go away by itself?

I will really miss your answers and wisdom, I'm glad I have your book and blog to rely on! I wish a good and peaceful day!

Most of my advice will center around what you need as a 1 -- which is to learn to separate your super-ego inner voice (that relentless critic who is always hammering you to do the 'right' thing and be 'perfect' and telling you how you 'should' be) from your own voice. What I mean to say is, don't do things only because you feel as if you 'should' out of a misguided sense of duty. 1s tend to repress themselves, deny their own desires, and then resent others who are 'having fun' while they feel as if they 'ought' to just work, or study, or be a good parent. Allow yourself to have fun, allow yourself to say no.

I grew up with a 1, and even though she knows she's a 1, it's still hard for her to not to treat her own self as a 1. When she should relax her boundaries and cut herself slack, she comes down hard on herself and enforces more personal rules. For example, she was "spending too much time on YouTube," so she decided to restrict herself to only once a week for an hour. I told her, "That's the wrong approach. You need to allow yourself to 'waste time' if it's what you WANT to do, without feeling guilty about it. There's no reason you can't watch YouTube. Watch it whenever you damn well please."

She was shocked, but then she thought about it and realized I was right -- you can't fix yourself as a 1, by being a 1. You have to fix yourself by relaxing the inner hounding, and learning to ask -- do I want to do this? is this mine to do? and realizing that you can say no to things and choose not to do them, without it making you a bad person. I would also suggest you make space for your own anger -- for you to admit to it, own it, and process it, rather than hanging on to it, or feeling as if it is "righteous," and any negative feelings that are not "righteous" need to be suppressed. All emotions are okay -- this is what your line to 4 can teach you: to be at home with ALL of your feelings, even the "bad" ones."

Learn to use your 4 line to teach you about your feelings and get in deeper touch with your true desires, and your 7 line to learn how to let things go and have more fun. I was so proud of Marie Kondo recently when I read that as an sp1, she is learning to use her 7 line -- she confessed that keeping her house tidy is no longer her priority; instead, it's to have fun with and enjoy her children. Good for her!

Regarding 9s. 9s and 1s are often in conflict because as competency types, 1s usually want to handle things immediately and efficiently, but 9s procrastinate and avoid the things that give them discomfort. The thing to remember about 9s is that they can easily feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, and they procrastinate and find menial tasks to do that help them feel "busy" when they should be doing something else that gives them anxiety. You can help a 9 a lot by telling them in advance about what you want to discus or resolve, and inviting them to bring ideas to the table. For example, a 9 I know wants to move in two years, but there's a lot of stuff that needs to happen first, and I know she will leave it all to the last minute. I intend to help her make progress by saying, "I'd like to help you with X, what do you think we should work on first?" Maybe with your mom, volunteering assistance and then leaving a choice up to her might be a non-threatening approach, because the 9 still feels as if they have some power in the situation.

It's important not to shame them or push them around or force them into action -- not only will they hate you, they will react with passive aggression, slowing down, digging in their heels, or refusing to budge so you need to learn tact and how to offer them opportunities rather than get impatient and to work on their time scheme.

[life-love-and-lotr]

@chaos-in-bright-pink-hair-dyes Killjoy Week Day 4- Waste

My parents called me a waste all the time. A waste of space. A waste of energy. A waste of resources. All because I lived my life differently than what was expected of me.

It's funny looking back on my life in the city and realising how fucked up it all was. I was 10 years old when my wonderful father said that to me for the first time. I was playing with Kobra in the living room and I broke my dad's favourite statue. He didn't take it very well and screamed in my face about how disappointed he was. It really felt like he didn't like me and I think he wished he never had kids. But that was what top Exterminators where expected to do. Kill joys and pump out children to carry on the family traditions. That didn't go very well and soon after we where out of his hair.

It took me so long to unlearn all that hatred. My first year of being out here was awful. I constantly doubted myself, worrying about whether I was worth being here with other amazing killjoys. Self-doubt kills you in the desert. Almost got myself ghosted in a clap because I overthought a shot and the dracs got there first. That made the feelings way worse and sorta made me a recluse.

Then you all came along. The day Ghoul arrived in our lives started the whole healing process. You taught me how to roll with the punches, take things as they come and have a bloody good time doing it. The world just thinks I started out confident. But it was you who taught that to me. Then Motorbaby stormed in, taking us to her brother and changing my life yet again. Jet is the type of person who can take a panic attack and calm it down in silence. You taught me to take my time, find moments of inner peace and gave me permission to get it wrong. You taught me the impulse control needed to be a true leader. Motorbaby, the most joyful joy this side of Zone 6. You are just the sweetest most creative of us, teaching me how to let my creativity flow and also influencing my now impeccable sense of fashion. Now wherever I go I can share that with the world giving hope to those who need it.

Last but certainly not least there is Kobra. You have been by my side for as long as I can remember. The day you came home from the hospital was the best day of my life in the city. I can instantly recall the feeling of your tiny hands as you gripped my pinky finger. That was the day I decided to be better than my father. To show you how a true man treats the people he loves. And I know I did well because look at you. People on the outside only see you as a stone-cold killer, but we all know it's a shield to protect yourself. We all see your kind side, the one always on hand to help. The one that was the first to get to Jet when he needed to get medical attention. We all see your gentle side. The one that tells Motorbaby (and Ghoul) the best bedtime stories. And I see the love only a brother can give. The type of love that doesn't pretend. That is brutally honest when needed and knows when to back off. That saved a boy broken beyond repair.

You all helped me realise that I am not a waste. I belong here just like all of you. Thank you.

[rehabcenterbd]

Finding Light in the Darkness by Rashik Hasrat Rivu

The Path of Healing at Golden Life On-site Wellness Services.

TAKE ROOT, GIVE HOPE.

Things I know about God, What Is Generosity?

When we are living in this world of shadows & land of monsters, where the choices that we make often take down infamous roads to hell, the path to recovery may seem vast and endless. We, at Golden Life Mirpur Drug Addiction Treatment Center in Bangladesh, understand that addiction is not just an individual fight; it is a social battle calling out to families and societies.

The Weight of Choices

Picture waking up every day burdened by the pressure of what society wishes you to be, not who you truly are. This causes them great anxiety which is what pushes people into drugs, a vacuum from pain, and a world weary stress. Yet all too often, those choices lead them further into darkness, leaving them more alone and more hidden than ever.

We recognize many pathways to addiction — be it because of trauma, loneliness, or just a quest for belonging. A vicious cycle of binge-watching leads to a chasm of desolation and deprivation that forbids your sincere belief whereno light appears in the end.

A Place of Understanding

In addition to treatment, we provide compassion. We are the sanctuary where all calls get answered. We offer a platform for your stories, for young adults dealing with depression and struggling…for those people experiencing their weakest moments…and also for discovering their strengths… It is in these shared experiences that healing starts on the right foot.

The Strength Found in Bonds

A powerful statement is made in the report on the healing processes. This is vital as when individuals open up their fears and share their successes, they realize that their life struggles are not one-sided. Every individual can expose sentiments in group therapy sessions no holds barred, where the rawness of emotions spills out, and closeness is established. Such attachments grow to become umbilical cords to each individual reminding that even at the darkest moments, there still exists a tiny burn that is waiting to be kindled.

How does one restore their self-control?

Recovery cannot be said to be in straight lines but rather in curves with ups and downs. It is the same situation at Golden Life but instead, we live with this ambiguity, acknowledging that restoration takes time and inner strength. Each professional, be it a psychologist, a counselor, or a medical provider, walks with the person and carries out what they know best depending on the stage of that person on their healing journey.

We do not focus on detoxification only; we also eliminate the problems associated with drug abuse – the cause. We assist patients in going back to where the trouble began and help them learn how to find themselves. With every bit of progress, the patients start to take back who they once were.

A Plea to Families

To all the people who are living with a recovering addict; the power of your love is great. Get involved. Speak to your loved ones, and let them know what they can do and how they can help.

Healing is not just about the individual; it’s about rebuilding connections and fostering understanding within families. Together, you can create a nurturing environment that encourages recovery, it is also about repairing relationships and restoring harmony in families. It is also possible to make a society where the healing process is possible.

Adopting Optimism

While it may appear otherwise, at Golden Life we are not treating ailments; we are fostering hope. Everyone has it in them to get up and do all the things that they once loved and be happy again and no longer under the influence of drugs.

If you or a loved one are up against the wall of addiction today, please know that there is still hope and that there is a place of peace waiting for you. Contact us today. Let’s take this step together so we can move out of this sadness and live the beautiful life that is waiting for us.

In this transformation, you are not merely a victim, but a fighter. And in Golden Life, we are privileged to be part of your journey reclaiming your life’s story and starting a new one with limitless opportunities.

A Covenant of Healing: Our Pledge at Golden Life In the quiet corners of our hearts, we all share a fundamental truth:

Every soul longs for connection, understanding, and the opportunity to overcome challenges. At Golden Life, the Mirpur Drug Addiction Treatment Center, we wholeheartedly embrace this truth, dedicating ourselves to serving, healing, and uplifting every individual who enters our doors. Our Vision: A Tapestry of Resilience We dream of a world where compassion and empathy intertwine to create a vibrant tapestry of resilience. A world where every person, regardless of their past, is greeted with kindness, and where the stigma surrounding addiction is replaced by acceptance and love. We believe that healing is not a solitary journey; it’s a collective effort, a shared adventure of rediscovery and redemption. Our Mission: To Ignite the Flame Within Our mission goes beyond traditional treatment methods. We aim to spark the inner flame within each individual, awakening the hidden strength that lies beneath layers of pain and struggle. We work to create an environment where vulnerability is embraced, and every story shines as a beacon of hope. In the depths of darkness, we will light the way toward healing.

Our Commitment: To Serve with Integrity and Compassion In our pursuit of this noble mission, we make a profound commitment: 1. Dignity and Respect: We promise to treat every individual with the utmost dignity and respect. We recognize that addiction can diminish one’s sense of self, and we are dedicated to helping restore that sense of worth, reminding each person that they are deserving of love and a second chance. 2. Holistic Approach: We are committed to addressing the mind, body, and spirit. Our comprehensive treatment programs aim to heal not just the symptoms of addiction, but also the underlying issues that contribute to it. We believe that true recovery involves emotional, psychological, and physical well-being. 3. Empathy as Our Guide: We pledge to walk alongside each person with empathy as our guiding principle. We listen intently to their stories, creating space for their pain while nurturing their hopes. Our hearts are open, ready to embrace the complexity of their journeys. 4. Family as Allies: We understand that families play a crucial role in the healing process. We commit to involving loved ones, providing them with the education and support necessary to understand addiction and promote recovery. Together, we can mend relationships strained by addiction and build a supportive network of care. 5. Continuous Growth: We promise to stay dedicated to learning and evolving. As the landscape of addiction and recovery shifts, so will our approaches. We will remain informed, adaptable, and responsive to the needs of those we serve, ensuring that our methods uphold the highest standards of care.

Our Oath: A Pact of Healing and Hope With each breath, we renew our commitment to protect and serve those who seek refuge in our care. We vow to be a reliable source of hope, a guiding light in times of darkness. In this sacred space, we will create an environment of trust and healing, where every individual is empowered to reclaim their life and purpose. A Call to Humanity We invite you, as part of this shared human experience, to join us in our mission. Whether you are seeking healing, a family member, or an ally in the battle against addiction, your role is essential. Together, we can break down the barriers of stigma and build bridges of understanding. Let us remember that within every challenge lies the growth potential. In the struggle, there is strength. In the journey through pain, there is the promise of renewal. Together, we can transform despair into hope and suffering into resilience. At Golden Life, we are dedicated to the belief that every soul deserves healing. Together, let’s create a future where love overcomes stigma, where every life is cherished, and where the path to recovery is met with unwavering support. In unity, we move forward, transforming lives and nurturing the essence of humanity. Together, we rise. Together, we heal.

We do not imagine a world where any person is left in the misery of despair, but a world where every man, woman, and child has a chance regardless of the actions they have taken in the past, or the mistakes they have made, can build his life from scratch.

[meisha-of-arc]

I honestly cannot explain what I am feeling right now, I don't know whether to feel angry, sad, happiness, loneliness or disappointment—maybe a mix of them? I'm happy because, I know my worth and I do not let anyone disrespect me, even him. I'm happy because, I have all the courage and braveness to leave him. But, I just feel sad too at the same time, because what If he was telling the truth, that he would really change and treat me better with respect? What if this time he really meant it? Something in me, is questioning me though.. because, If he really wanted to change, why didn't you just not do that in the first place? Why would you choose to enjoy something you know that would hurt me?

You told me that, I was cold hearted and even though I am, I should give you a chance and forgive you, but it's not easy to forgive and forget. I didn't know you could do that to me, I couldn't believe that someone who loves to spoil me, who tells me I'm pretty every day, who gives me a flower every month, would still be able to do this to me. You knew my parents both cheated on each other, you knew how much I hate cheaters, but why do you have to do that too? Why do you have to like other girls too? I don't get it, you did all those efforts just for you to ruin our relationship. Why did you even pursue me in the first place? it's just hard to look at you the same way.. I just don't want to get hurt again. I'm just protecting my inner peace, my mind, and my heart.. I know my self-worth. Don't worry though, I have already accepted that we're really ending things.. I just wish you live the life, not forgetting you once loved someone like me and that you'll promise, the next time you love your girl, you'll treat her with respect.

I thought you were the one already, but I can't tolerate mental infedelity, I can't be in a relationship knowing that's how you view other girls, knowing that you did that behind my back, I know you shower me with lots of affection, gifts, love and care, but that doesn't mean I will tolerate that kind of behavior. So, I'm sorry that I know what my value is, that I know I won't settle for this kind of relationship.

Maybe we weren't really meant to be.. maybe, I was just meant to teach you how to treat your girl in the future with, not only love and care, but with respect for her and for all the other girls that surrounds you. Maybe, this is how it really ends. We part ways, I move on, you move on... you get your own life, I get my own life, and slowly, we'll forget that we once had a love like this..

Although, I feel mad because things ended like this, I'm happy that I had someone like you. And, that I was loved by you—It's just hard to think that one day, you'll wake up and you'll find someone else.. but, that's the way it is right? oh well, I guess we can't really do something about this now.. good bye and I'm sorry, I said some things that hurt you. So, for the last time, I wanted to say that I love you.

[reinaxc]

{adria arjona, 32, she/her} we are so glad to see you safe, LADY AMARA SALAZAR of CARDIFF! it’s dangerous out in the world these days, but i hear that you are  KINDHEARTED and EMPATHETIC  enough to handle it. just don’t let your INGENUOUSLY bring you down! stay on your guard, because with your secret being at risk for exposure, you wouldn’t want everyone to find out YOU OVERHEARD ABOUT A PLOT THAT CAN PLACE YOUR LOVER AT RISK. (its me mara)

Background:

Lady Amara Salazar of Cardiff, originally hailing from a lesser noble family in Puerto Rico. Her early life and childhood was marred by tragedy and abuse. Amara shared a close bond with her little sister Carla, spending countless hours together and forming a deep connection. However, this happiness was shattered when her sister fell gravely ill. Amara stayed by her side, offering care and companionship, but despite her efforts, her sister passed away.

Amara's father, Don Carlos Salazar, was a stern and traditional man who managed the family’s modest estate and small coffee plantation. Despite their noble status, the family’s finances were often strained, adding to the pressures Carlos felt. After the loss of his youngest daughter, Carlos was consumed by grief and anger, directing his blame toward Amara. To cope with his pain, he resorted to drinking heavily, and when drunk, he would treat Amara terribly, subjecting her to both verbal and occasional physical abuse.

Amara's mother, Doña Angelica Dapena, was a gentle and nurturing woman who initially tried to maintain peace within the household. She was devoted to her children and spent her days tending to the household and supporting her husband's endeavors. However, the death of her youngest daughter proved too much for Angelica to bear. Unable to handle the family's turmoil and her husband’s increasing hostility, she abandoned the family shortly after her youngest daughter’s death, leaving Amara to bear the brunt of her father's anger alone.

Despite these hardships, Amara's inherent kindness and empathy shone through. She found solace in activities that allowed her to escape her difficult reality. She would immerse herself in novels, losing herself in stories of far-off places and better times. Amara also expressed herself through painting, creating beautiful artworks that reflected her inner world.

Horseback riding became another of her cherished pastimes, providing a sense of freedom and escape. Additionally, Amara was deeply connected to her community. She would often help her neighbors with tasks such as picking coffee or sugar cane, offering her assistance whenever it was needed. Her willingness to help others and her genuine concern for their well-being made her a beloved figure in her community.

Her beauty caught the eye of a high lord who sought her hand in marriage. Seeing this as an escape from her father's torment, she accepted, though her father made the decision driven solely by financial gain, disregarding her wishes.

Her marriage brought her to Cardiff, where her new husband treated her with gentleness and respect. Their relationship, built on mutual respect, evolved into a deep friendship over the years. Amara embraced her new role, receiving education in etiquette and household management, and dutifully attended social events at her husband's side.

At one of these events, Amara met Philip, a Viscount, whose presence stirred emotions in her that she had longed to feel. Despite being married, Philip captivated her, and Amara, who had always yearned for true love, found herself drawn to him. She desires love and to be loved, without expecting anything in return.

Personality:

Amara's kindhearted and empathetic nature is both her strength and her vulnerability. Her ingenuousness can sometimes lead her into precarious situations. She is a woman defined by her resilience, kindness, and empathy. She is loyal to her responsibilities and the people she cares about. She diligently attended social events with her husband and learned how to manage a household. Her sense of duty extends to her community, where she is always ready to lend a helping hand. Amara’s brave yet vulnerable nature drives her to protect those she loves, even at great personal risk. 

Secret and Motivations:

She harbors a profound secret that weighs heavily on her heart. Recently, she overheard a dangerous plot that threatens the safety of Philip, the Viscount who has captured her affections. This revelation has placed her in a precarious position, torn between her desire to protect Philip and the risk of exposing herself to danger and betrayal.Amara's motivations stem from her deep-seated yearning for love and emotional connection. Her marriage, while respectful, lacks the passionate love she craves. Meeting Philip awakened dormant desires within her, igniting a fervent longing for true intimacy and companionship. 

[innerguidancehub]

Embracing Tranquility: Navigating Irrational Paranoid Thoughts with Spiritual Insight

Introduction

In the labyrinth of the mind, irrational paranoid thoughts can emerge, weaving intricate narratives that seem to blur the lines between reality and imagination. Finding solace in the midst of such mental storms requires a blend of self-compassion, spiritual wisdom, and mindful awareness. This article offers spiritual encouragement to help you navigate these thoughts with grace and find inner peace.

I. Recognize the Nature of Thoughts

Begin by acknowledging that thoughts, no matter how vivid or convincing, are creations of the mind. They do not define reality. Understand that it is human to have irrational thoughts from time to time.

II. Cultivate Mindfulness in the Present Moment

Practice grounding yourself in the present. Engage in activities that anchor you in the here and now, such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindful walking. This practice helps distance yourself from intrusive thoughts.

III. Embrace Compassion for Yourself

Extend the same level of compassion to yourself that you would offer to a dear friend. Understand that irrational thoughts are not a reflection of your character or sanity. Treat yourself with gentleness.

IV. Engage in Affirming Self-Reflection

Engage in self-affirmation practices. Remind yourself of your worth, inner strength, and capacity for clarity. Affirmations act as gentle beacons of light in moments of mental turbulence.

V. Seek Guidance from Spiritual Wisdom

Draw inspiration from spiritual teachings that resonate with you. Whether it's ancient philosophy, sacred texts, or contemporary spiritual insights, seek wisdom that offers solace and perspective.

VI. Establish Healthy Mental Boundaries

Acknowledge that not all thoughts hold equal weight or truth. Practice discernment in evaluating the validity of your thoughts. Establish boundaries that protect your mental well-being.

VII. Engage in Creative Expression as Catharsis

Art, writing, music, or any form of creative expression can serve as powerful tools for processing thoughts and emotions. Allow your creativity to flow freely, offering release and clarity.

VIII. Connect with Nature's Serenity

Spend time in natural settings. Nature has a unique way of grounding us and reminding us of the grand tapestry of existence. Seek solace in the beauty and rhythm of the natural world.

IX. Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation

Engage in loving-kindness meditation to cultivate feelings of compassion and well-wishing towards yourself and others. This practice helps shift your focus from fear to love.

X. Surrender to the Flow of Life

Understand that life is an ever-changing river. Embrace the uncertainty and impermanence. Allow thoughts to come and go like ripples on the surface of water.

Conclusion

In the dance of existence, irrational paranoid thoughts may momentarily obscure the light. Yet, through spiritual insight and gentle self-care, you can find your way back to tranquility. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. As you navigate the realms of your mind, may you discover the profound peace that resides within your own heart.

[rongful]

Hi beautiful souls, it's been a while and I wanted to check in on you today. I hope you have had kindness, compassion, and love lately for yourself. 💕

In this fast-paced world, it's easy to overlook our mental health and forget our own self-worth. But today, let's pause and remember just how important it is to prioritize our well-being. Your mental health matters, and you deserve all the love and care in the world.

Take a moment to reflect on how you've been treating yourself lately. Have you been practicing self-compassion? Have you given yourself permission to rest and rejuvenate? Remember, you are worthy of love and understanding, not just from others, but from yourself too.

Life can be challenging, and it's okay to have ups and downs. But during those tough times, remind yourself that you are strong, resilient, and capable. Each step you take towards self-care is a testament to your inner strength and determination.

Surround yourself with positive influences and supportive friends who uplift and encourage you. Seek out activities that bring you joy, whether it's immersing yourself in nature, pursuing a creative passion, or simply curling up with a good book. Nurture your mind, body, and soul with activities that replenish your energy and bring you peace.

Remember, your self-worth is not defined by external factors or societal expectations. You are inherently deserving of love, respect, and happiness, just as you are. Embrace your uniqueness, celebrate your strengths, and be gentle with yourself during moments of vulnerability.

If you're struggling, know that reaching out for help is a sign of courage, not weakness. There are people who care about you and want to support you on your journey. Never hesitate to seek professional assistance or confide in a trusted friend or family member. You are never alone in this.

Today and every day, I wish for you to find solace in your own company, to cultivate self-compassion, and to embrace the beauty of your soul. You are a beautiful being, worthy of all the kindness, compassion, and love that life has to offer.

Take care of yourself, dear friend. You matter, and your mental health deserves all the attention it requires. Sending you warm thoughts, virtual hugs, and endless positivity. You've got this! 💖

[wonyoungandbeautiful]

Wonyoung was well aware that her unexpected action could be interpreted in a million different ways. However, she hoped he wouldn't take it as her being used to meaningless hook ups or treating him as such. Nothing about him was meaningless to her. In fact, it was quite the opposite. It was one of the many reasons why she felt so conflicted. Unable to make up her mind about him. It was undeniable that he was far from being the issue, it was her. It had always been. Regardless of his infidelity, the brunette understood that everything that happened afterwards was her own doing. In her darkest days, a part of her felt as though maybe he wasn't so wrong for cheating on her. She had always been too much to handle, too inquisitive, too insulting. And though deep down she could somewhat understand, she was also deeply hurt. Despite her usual cold poise, Wonyoung was a hopeless romantic. She strongly believed she could find her soulmate and spend the rest of her life with them, whoever it was. When the pair started dating, she found herself being so easily infatuated with him, Mingi sweeping her off her feet with his charisma and dashing charm. Not taking long for her to fall deeply in love with him as he clouded her mind constantly. But with their busy schedule, missing him became a familiar feeling. And as the scandal broke out on social media while she was miles away from him, it broke her more than she would ever admit to him.

It was then, that she swore to herself to distance herself from him. And she did. Until, their common jobs compelled them to stand in the same arena or room more often than not. Insults and signs of annoyance were only shown as a result of the bitterness she felt towards what he had done to her but also because she needed him to stay away from her as much as possible. When flirting was added to the equation, Wonyoung knew they were both playing a dangerous game. Catching herself giggling internally at his possessiveness towards her, she turned into a giddy girl as if she was standing in front of a crush. That was her first warning. That she needed to take a step back before she would lose complete control of the situation. Yet again, she did. However, each time he was near, any promise she had made to herself soon vanished. Hopelessly, she didn't want him to think that he could make the biggest mistake and still get her to like him somehow. In fact, it was a concept she didn't comprehend either. How she could still have feelings for someone who didn't even apologize for his infidelity and kept denying it over and over again like she was a fool? In the back of her mind, Wonyoung feared she was becoming one of these girls who would forgive anything their boyfriend did. The same girls she used to strongly criticize and despise. Yet, tonight their boundaries broke further than expected. And while she wished there was a manual for the perfect ways to handle such circumstances, that her older sister or older members could show her the path to inner peace, the only advice she received instead was stay away from him. Was losing herself and her self respect for him worth it? She couldn't seem to decide how to react, knowing that for a moment she gave up on her own sense of self pride and identity because her heart kept pulling her closer to him. It was an unknown feeling — one that shattered her heart and composure. "Mingi, it's fine, i'll just go," she muttered. Her rapid moves hinted that she needed to get out of here as fast as possible, take a breath of fresh air and make sense of the war in her mind. Brown hues shot up towards him. The thought of sleeping in his bed made this even harder for her, aware that lively memories would surge and distract her if she accepted his request. "I don't want you to sleep on the couch, don't be ridiculous," she spoke, her voice quieter than usual. Though his back kept facing her, from the corner of her eye, she watched his gaze swing to his closet, focused on whatever he could pull out of it. Approaching him, her hand grabbed his arm as he reached for his clothes. Staying there was terrifying, unsure of what could happen if she remained in his dorm with just the two of them. "Besides i don't want your members to see me in the morning. I know some of them don't like me very much," she continued. Wonyoung understood why she wasn't liked by some Ateez members. She was a chaotic girlfriend to him, highly aware that she wasn't good for his mental health either. But as she tried so hard to keep herself away from him, somehow her next words suggested the opposite. "I don't want to be a bother but...can you please take a taxi with me? I don't want to go there alone," she inquired with pleading eyes.

In a perfect world, the pair would have discussed their breakup in detail before parting ways. An open dialogue where they could speak their mind without the an interruption. Acting their age as opposed to falling into their toxic ways. Mingi ending all flirtatious activities with fans when Wonyoung expressed her discomfort with them instead of tipping over the line. Finding himself in a hole that he couldn’t dig out from even if he tried to. Still, they could have agreed to have a mutual breakup, and could have agreed to be civil in public instead of throwing each other glares or throwing shade to the other when it wasn’t necessary. Maybe then, they could have been friends years down the road once they found their happiness. Whether that be in another relationship or happy with where they were in life. Except that Mingi wasn’t mature enough to wish Wonyoung that. Even now when he heard his name for the second time from her lips, he wanted to implant it in his head that he could still do this. Give her pleasure and remind her of what they had. Minus the arguments. Also wanting her to erase any man that could be fluttering around in her head in replacement of him. Was it selfish? Absolutely. 

The adrenaline rush before an orgasm created a thicker barrier from the outside world. The only thing that mattered was Wonyoung, and her only. Mingi’s issue was he couldn’t find that same feeling with anyone else despite trying to replace her after their sudden breakup. Her face seemed to make an appearance in the middle of his dates, reminding the rapper that he wasn’t remotely close to forgetting her. Making tonight’s activity much more pleasing when he could express it through the clashes of his hips into hers. Unleashing the neediness, and ironically…. simmering down the pressure of the industry. Somehow, being with her made him feel more freeing which was funny considering how they fought like cats and dogs. His throbbing length releasing the tension build up. Spilling himself inside of her and some more when she moved her hips upwards to meet his. From her words down to the way her body moved was enough to bring another groan out of him. “Fuck… I love filling you” There was much more to be said but he couldn’t bring more out of him. Too lost in trying to take a deep breath, he lazily took her lips with his, pecking it softly than he had all night. His hands slowly releasing from her waist to fall down to her butt to pull her closer, he was about to lean in to give her another kiss and express how much he missed her when he felt a push on her end to get off. Confused, he followed her movement by rolling off. Unsure if something happened in the last few seconds, he laid still, trying to gather his thoughts in what could have happened. It wasn’t until he saw her peeling away from the bed and onto the ground to scout her discarded clothes was when he sat up. Was she leaving? Did all of this mean nothing? A sharp pain struck his chest when he wondered if she only followed him to bed because perhaps she wanted to disconnect from the world. It was no secret that living the idol life was difficult, and one could often lose themselves. It was the reason a lot slept around or caved to the pleasure of drugs or alcohol. Was he an idiot for thinking that this was one sided? His eyes shifted from Wonyoung who was busy trying to find her clothes, afraid that his eyes would betray him by filling with water. “Mhm” He tried to be nonchalant with the simple sound. Gathering the rest of his confidence, he got off the bed to snatch his boxers that seemed to have been tossed closer towards the door, and slipped them on. Part of him wanted to ask the important questions. What does this mean? Are you really going to leave? What does this make us? Are you willing to try again? But the only thing that made it out of his mouth was. “It’s late. Sleep here, leave in the morning. It’s not safe to leave right now.” It was a safe neighborhood, and Mingi never had a bad experience when he strolling through the streets this late. But he also didn’t want to risk anything to happen to Wonyoung. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” He added, collecting his shirt from the ground along with his pants to toss them on the side. He opened the closet, grabbing a few blankets and piling them on the chair. “Sleep with these.” He said, implying so she wouldn’t sleep in the mess that they made minutes ago. Now feeling like the tension with them shifted from a passionate one to refusing to look at her by how nervous he was if his body betrayed him by crying. Always a little more sensitive than some of his other members. “Don’t forget to lock the door.” He added. He trusted his members, but if she needed to lock it to feel secure, then he wanted to let her know that. He grabbed a clean shirt and some of his gym shorts to toss on the chair, leaving a change of clothes to emphasize that she should sleep here instead of risk of leaving this late.   

[rehabcenterbd]

Finding Light in the Darkness by Rashik Hasrat Rivu.

The Path of Healing at Golden Life On-site Wellness Services.

TAKE ROOT, GIVE HOPE.

Things I know about God, What Is Generosity?

When we are living in this world of shadows & land of monsters, where the choices that we make often take down infamous roads to hell, the path to recovery may seem vast and endless. We, at Golden Life Mirpur Drug Addiction Treatment Center in Bangladesh, understand that addiction is not just an individual fight; it is a social battle calling out to families and societies.

The Weight of Choices

Picture waking up every day burdened by the pressure of what society wishes you to be, not who you truly are. This causes them great anxiety which is what pushes people into drugs, a vacuum from pain, and a world weary stress. Yet all too often, those choices lead them further into darkness, leaving them more alone and more hidden than ever.

We recognize many pathways to addiction — be it because of trauma, loneliness, or just a quest for belonging. A vicious cycle of binge-watching leads to a chasm of desolation and deprivation that forbids your sincere belief where no light appears in the end.

A Place of Understanding

In addition to treatment, we provide compassion. We are the sanctuary where all calls get answered. We offer a platform for your stories, for young adults dealing with depression and struggling…for those people experiencing their weakest moments…and also for discovering their strengths… It is in these shared experiences that healing starts on the right foot.

The Strength Found in Bonds

A powerful statement is made in the report on the healing processes. This is vital as when individuals open up their fears and share their successes, they realize that their life struggles are not one-sided. Every individual can expose sentiments in group therapy sessions no holds barred, where the rawness of emotions spills out, and closeness is established. Such attachments grow to become umbilical cords to each individual reminding that even at the darkest moments, there still exists a tiny burn that is waiting to be kindled.

How does one restore their self-control?

Recovery cannot be said to be in straight lines but rather in curves with ups and downs. It is the same situation at Golden Life but instead, we live with this ambiguity, acknowledging that restoration takes time and inner strength. Each professional, be it a psychologist, a counselor, or a medical provider, walks with the person and carries out what they know best depending on the stage of that person on their healing journey.

We do not focus on detoxification only; we also eliminate the problems associated with drug abuse – the cause. We assist patients in going back to where the trouble began and help them learn how to find themselves. With every bit of progress, the patients start to take back who they once were.

A Plea to Families

To all the people who are living with a recovering addict; the power of your love is great. Get involved. Speak to your loved ones, and let them know what they can do and how they can help.

Healing is not just about the individual; it’s about rebuilding connections and fostering understanding within families. Together, you can create a nurturing environment that encourages recovery, it is also about repairing relationships and restoring harmony in families. It is also possible to make a society where the healing process is possible.

Adopting Optimism

While it may appear otherwise, at Golden Life we are not treating ailments; we are fostering hope. Everyone has it in them to get up and do all the things that they once loved and be happy again and no longer under the influence of drugs.

If you or a loved one are up against the wall of addiction today, please know that there is still hope and that there is a place of peace waiting for you. Contact us today. Let’s take this step together so we can move out of this sadness and live the beautiful life that is waiting for us.

In this transformation, you are not merely a victim, but a fighter. And in Golden Life, we are privileged to be part of your journey reclaiming your life’s story and starting a new one with limitless opportunities.

We do not imagine a world where any person is left in the misery of despair, but a world where every man, woman, and child has a chance regardless of the actions they have taken in the past, or the mistakes they have made, can build his life from scratch.