#‘do math or no horny’ and its fuckin

[poohwhin]

if you use popiku & make the password the answer to a LINEAR MATH PROBLEM we’re fighting

[wanderingpages]

Chapter 3, LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

Hot girl math every chapter, but i like that you solved the equation for me ❤️❤️ vivi is cardans age, but a freshman 

“My breasts would spill out of anything she owns, so I let her know I do actually own clothes sexy enough to attend a party.” - mommy? Sorry. Mommy?

““I used to sneak out of the house pretty late,” I reveal to her. “Sneakers though – had to climb up to my roof to get back into my bedroom.” ” - she a baddie she showing her panty – also as an aside, love the aesthetic you have going on for the tumblr chapters, like oof, you said (drake voice) this is not to get confused, this ones for you (Me,) – also does this mean she sucks at heels cus she never thought to wore them since she always used sneakers and this is foreshadow or am i reading too into this??? Also this, foreshadow too? > “but he always drew the line at curfew.” (me picking at crumbs) also: Air Force 1s in my air force one (Aside, yall remember rocking that thang remix? Yall remember when rap songs had remixes with like everyone?? Last one i heard was probably fuckin problems. We need another anthem (So i gave em another anthem [we the bessstttt]) - dj khaled - me. Peach i am on medication for Covid.)

““My…brother,” I test the word out. It’s so foreign, it tastes rancid in my mouth. ”- ok but physically, jude…jude, look at me, physically. Not rancid at all. He is delicious, i promise, you jude. Jude. I promise, you jude ❤️❤️❤️❤️

“When I say it again, in front of the lookout guy at the door of the frat house,” - ok but this transition!!! When i say its a MOVIE, PEach. PEACH

“Let me embarrass myself in front of his friends and roommates. He’ll laugh about it later, with them” awed by how canon this actually is for fanfic lmao

““Alright sweet thing,” this guy tells me and I want to punt kick him in the balls for it.” - i know thats right fr. Vivienne also, is everything. Shes a better friend than she is sister, and ill let that sit with yall (yall, i say like im talking to a crowd, bye, im so delulu) anyways but the whole inner turmoil of jude thinking Cardan invited her to embarrass her? Baby who hurt you (Your mother, i know. Already cleared that) im talking in a lot of parenthesis. You can see where the medicine is taking over, actually. Im lucid tho

““My baby sister,” he coos in jest, making me feel uneasy. “Come here,” he tells me,” –he’s such a dickhead im in love

“At the wedding it was all soft makeup and tied up hair. Today, there’s glitter on my eyelids, sharp wings accentuating the shape of my eyes, a gold glimmer on my cheeks that catches in the light, and lips so red that he holds his gaze there for a moment too long. ” – Peach, i love this so MUCH she’s EVERYTHING TO ME 🥰😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

But back to him being an ass why is he soooo lol like really walking around the fact that theyre NOT related, for the taboo of it all. Kinky mf, i fear.

“catching mirth in pretty hazel eyes only partially obscured by sandy blonde hair. ” GHOST? IS THST YOU?

JUDE AND CARDAN KISSED? WHEN?

OH - “. We did a little more than kissing that night. His fingers traced over parts of me even the sun hadn’t yet touched. Thunder had masked cries I couldn’t hold back and lightning had made him look like a luminous god. I cross my legs, embarrassed and something more.” help me. Also shut up locke, mind ur business for real, this is grown people talk.

Omg it was Ghost ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️”“You’re Greenbriar’s sister.” / “Stepsister,” I breathe out ” stop this is so derek and casey coded 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

HOLD ON WAIT GHOST?! GHOST AND JUDE? ( I love that he braced her head when they fell lmao horny but gentlemanly)

AHHH CARDAN? HELLO?! NICASIA ? OH MY GOD AND ALL FOUR OF THEM JUST DECIDE TO KEEP GOING?? They said impromptu orgy. “Cardan shifts and leans back on his elbow, still having a perfect view of me, but now giving Nicasia space to twist her head to look at me, too. ” - please…. I am on my knees… i am unwell….i am sick to my stomach… alexa play that should be me by justin beiber…. That should be me fr but which one is the question??

God why is ghost everything right now??? “Do you want them to watch?” like oh my god….. I need a moment. I need a lot of moments. “”Do you want your brother to watch me taste your come?”” – i am…convulsing. Ghost is… like my body is breaking out in a sweat.

Say please and make it as sweet as your – top 3 things that would send a victorian child into a coma

Stop why was this the best head ive read? 

““Such a good girl,” I hear Nicasia whisper.” - help….  They are actual deviants and i am in hell, keeping your seat warm, peach ❤️❤️❤️❤️

lol see this is the longest ask over ever had so far and I’m truly amazed at your commitment ngl

Sneakers, I guess it’s foreshadowing for some stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️ curfew, yes. I like that you have three separate song references in one paragraph lmao I also feel this is the point you should have called it a night and fell asleep 💀

This is so uncannon that’s I’ve tried to slip all the cannon stuff I actually can in 😫

Actually cardan was intoxicated here but was genuinely surprised she introduced herself as his stepsister cus he was like …oh? Ok…:)

Yeah you know I love me some Ghost 🤭

Yes! Absolutely Derek and Casey!

Yes ghost!!!! Also I do love people being mindful during intimate moments ngl like duh hes gonna make sure she doesn’t crack her head open!

Your commentary here is sending me oh my god ��🥰

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#246

“Here boy. I know who and what you are. Do you know who I am?… Liar. You’re a faggot liar. Yes you do. You have been drooling over me for weeks now. Follow me. I got us a room at the motel next door….

“The regulars here at the diner don’t care that I prefer fucking faggots like you over broads. I just don’t broadcast it like you do. I’ve seen you talking to some of the boys I have fucked. You know I have a big dick and that I pile drive boy cunt.

“I’ve seen you in the parking lot. You watch the guys like me going into the bookstore across the lot. You want to follow them in, but the bookstore won’t let you. They know you’re underage. Until today. Now you are legal to fuck. Yeah, I know your 18th birthday is today. I know a lot of things about you. I know you cruise the bookstore, and the bathroom the bar shares with the diner. I know you are finishing up at high school.

“Here’s our room. I fuck the owner and he let’s me use a secluded empty room whenever I need. So, you can scream when I tear up your cunt. Having a big dick has many many many advantages. I need to let off some steam from a long day on the farm. Get naked, I’m gonna get the ropes out. My reputation is well known that I am a twisted fucker. Hell my conquests told you the such, and yet you came with me here.

“Always remember this, I am always in control of everything. Right now, that includes you. Naked. And then get on your knees and face me. See, it’s natural for you to follow orders. And where’s your phone?… Hand it to me…. Continue stripping. Well,… You’re kinda scrawny. You’ve never worked a hard day at anything, and it shows. Damn your pecker is tiny. That’s the way I like it. My cock is fucking huge, and you need to realize your place is on your knees in front of real men. You will never be a real man. You do know that, right?…

“You know what I want you to do. I want you to beg me to fuck you. I want you to beg me to brutalize your cunt. And while you are begging me and degrading and humiliating yourself, I will be jacking off to you. Having a big dick requires a little extra tugging to get hard. I know you wouldn’t know anything about that. You are too focused on your cunt. And call it a cunt a number of times, especially when you are fingering it. I want you to tell me that you need for me to rape you. Your goal is to degrade yourself. Tell me how much of a faggot you are. And focus on your tiny clit there. Tell me how you envy any real man with a real sized dick. And the thing I need for you to beg me to rape you—not have sex, not make love—rape. Use that word often.

“Here look up at me, at your phone. Thanks for letting me use your face to unlock it. I will be recording this on your phone. I want you to have a record of how low you are. I want you to watch this every morning as you are about to jack off at home. Speaking of jacking off, I should take my cock out for you. Damn, even totally limp, it’s way bigger than yours hard.

“You have three minutes to fully degrade yourself. Go!…

“…That’s time. Ok. See how big you got me? The full nine and a half inch dick, ready to rape the hell out of you. Crawl over here and blow me, but first put on this blindfold. I don’t want you to see anything. Good, now show me how good you are as a faggot cocksucker. Throat me to the nut. Put as much spit on it as you can. That’s pretty much the lube I will be using to tear your cunt up. Maybe if you are good, I will use some spit on the cunt. Take your time, but throat me. Get into it faggot. I’m gonna chill here… Open that fucking throat… Gag on that monster….

“You really are pathetic. Get your ass on the bed, face down. Need to tie you down. What? Now you want out? Aww hell the fuck no. I said on the fucking bed. Ok. You really want this to be a rape don’t you? Look I know my way around ropes and tying up livestock. I do work in a farm, and I am a part of the local rodeo. Calling out for help ain’t going to help.

“And, I sent myself a copy of that video where you are begging me to rape you and to show you no mercy. Nobody will believe you. Just a few more seconds, and there! You ain’t going nowhere now. You are going to be in that position for some time. Your cunt is on display, ready to be mounted.

“But first, I’m going to fuckin’ welt you up. I got my son’s belt here; mine doesn’t move through the air as nicely as his, and besides I’m still wearing mine. You don’t even deserve me stripping for you. When it comes to whipping, I don’t stop to let you recover.

“Being your birthday, It’s eighteen strokes in a row. Start your fucking screaming now. One, two, three,… louder fucker, you deserve every one of these strokes… Eight, nine, ten,… I can already see the welts forming. Oh yeah, bright red cheeks get me leaking. When I hit number twenty-five, I’m going right to the root whether or not you are ready. And it’s not going to take me very long to nut in you. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, and… eighteen.

“Quit your crying faggot. Here, bite down on my son’s belt. You really have me leaking here. And… all the way in. Fuck yes! This cunt hasn’t been fucked much, has it? Stop your screaming, I asked you a fucking question. You get fucked much?… No?… Wait, that was a cherry pop? Oh fuck yeah. I’m close to giving you some cream to go on your cherry pie. Oh yeah. Fuck. Take it bitch. Feel my load fill you up. Faggot.

“That’s what you have to look forward to for the next few days. Oh man, fuck. I’m gonna lay here for a while. Watch your head, my cigar is only an inch or two from your cheek. I don’t want to brand you,… well at least not yet. Let go of the belt. Holy shit. You really did bite down hard. I can’t wait to give this back to him and tell him how the teethmarks came about.

“Oh yeah, he knows I’m gay. He doesn’t care. He’s totally straight, and I mean totally straight. Now just lay there; you ain’t going anywhere. But I want you to hear this. Yeah, I kept my sex life away from him until one day when he walked in on me fisting his math teacher, Mr. Gunter.

“Oh yeah, he goes to the same high school as you. He too is ready to graduate. You know him, oh yes you do. You’ve been texting him all year, ever since he transferred to your school. You were not very nice to him. In fact, you and a few of your friends beat him up. And what reason did you have for giving him a black eye?… Don’t remember? You called him a faggot. You told your friends that he hit on you in gym class. Talk about projecting.

“When he came home suspended for fighting and with a black eye, I wanted details. He gave me your name and showed me your pic in the yearbook. And wouldn’t you know, I recognized you from your attempted bookstore runs. A week later you start hanging around the diner. You couldn’t get into the bar area, but you sat every Friday afternoon in that same spot in my line of vision, pretending to read that book while groping yourself. So subtle.

“I had your background run by a this cop I regularly fuck. He told me a shitload about you. He’s the one that informed the bookstore across the street that you were underage. There’s a boy—a year older than you—that I fuck who is a Facebook friend of yours showed me your wall. I got to go through every word you wrote while he was giving me head. And unlike you, he knows how to deep throat. Again, having a big dick has its advantages.

“And about that time, you and my son were suspended, you posted a viral video of a bullied kid getting revenge on the bully by sleeping with the bully’s mom. And your comment was something like, ‘Best served cold.’

“Funny thing is, I’m out. While I don’t broadcast it in this tiny town, but I don’t hide it. My son and ex-wife know. The ranch I work at knows. Hell, the main reason how I got the job was that I fucked the owner and told him that I was looking for a job. The guys at the bar all know. So how were you going to humiliate my son? He probably would say, ‘He fucked you? You ain’t the first, you won’t be the last.’ or something like that.

“So, what’s happening next for you? Certainly not humiliating my son. No, for you, I have plans. I’m gonna fuck you again. I’ll leave you tied up. The motel is going to get full later on tonight, mostly truckers. I’ve let the motel owner and the guy that works the bookstore that you are here ready for all horny truckers.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to pass you over to this biker club one of my friends is a member of. He already set up something really nasty for you. The gang already knows what a piece of shit you are. They can’t wait to get their hands on you, and I can’t wait to hear all about it. By the end of the weekend, your cunt will be destroyed. I will give you two black eyes to make up for the one you gave my boy. Most likely your hair will be removed. You are going to be beaten. Hell, my cop buddy is a former boxer. He’s going to string you up and use you as a punching bag.

“And in the end,… I will decide if you keep your balls. Wow. That’s the first time you have flinched while lying under me. Aw, shut up. I work with livestock every day. I know how to castrate a bull. I haven’t decided about you. Just keep that in mind throughout the weekend. You complain or resist, your balls will be in jeopardy.

“You probably won’t see much of me. But I will you. I have it arranged to have it all filmed for me. I expect to see a cum hungry faggot whore knowing his place of being used by real men. Your balls will depend on it. For me, I’m going to be with my son doing dad things.

“And I don’t plan on letting him in to the fact that you are a faggot whore lookin to get raped seeing, he already knows. How do I know? I text him, while you were trying to give me head. I wrote, from your phone, ‘I have to get this off my chest. I am a faggot whore. I can’t live in the closet anymore. Please share this video.’

“Then I sent him your video. While you are going to be in a living hell for the next four days, you won’t be able to stop him or anyone from finding out. This is how I want it. As I said before, I am always in control of everything. Oh, and happy birthday.”

[songbirdstyles]

call me.

summary: being quarantined away from harry is absolute torture - until it isn’t.

warnings: smut, some fluff and angst if you squint! phone sex <3

word count: 3.4k

song inspo.: call me - blondie

You haven’t been sleeping too well since the beginning of quarantine - whether it’s the stress of what feels like the world ending or the noticeable absence of your boyfriend, lying beside you, you can’t be sure. All you know for sure is that it takes you nearly three hours of lying in bed, staring up at your ceiling in the dark and being entirely too aware of the empty space beside you in bed, to finally be able to get a few hours of sleep. And you’d even resorted to shifting to Harry’s side of the bed, where his pillow faintly smelled of his cologne, but it did little to put you out of your insomnia-induced misery.

It was a cruel twist of fate to end up quarantined on nearly opposite ends of the world from Harry. He was merely supposed to be in LA for a week or two, and you were supposed to go with him until you’d gotten sick at the last minute - and it hadn’t been a big deal, until the global pandemic locked you in London and him in California. And now, you’re wishing more than anything that you’d ignored the cold niggling the back of your throat and utilized your ticket to the states - it would’ve made the entire situation decidedly less miserable than it is.

The light of your phone screen illuminated from your nightstand tells you, in its glaring bright intensity, that it’s 3:21 in the morning. If you squint out of the window, curtains pulled open, you swear you can already see the sun, poking insistently above the horizon - but, no, surely not yet. You pray you have a little bit of time left to try and get some sleep before your biological clock forces you up.

(It’s not looking too good, though, as another minute ticks past on your phone and your eyelids still aren’t feeling the heaviness you’re craving.)

Perhaps you’ve grown too accustomed to curling up beside Harry’s body, feeling his breath against your neck when you occasionally wake up at this time for an early morning shag. And maybe you’ve been a bit spoiled, traveling with him more as your relationship progresses over the past three years - but you hadn’t suspected it would be so horrible for your sleep schedule to not have him around. Bad for your sanity, perhaps, but do you really need his body wrapped around yours to get even a wink of shut-eye during the night?

The answer was, apparently, yes, as more minutes tick on your phone and you’re still wide awake. LA is 8 hours behind London, approximately, so if it’s 3:27 in the morning here -

You’re grabbing your phone off of your nightstand without bothering to finish the math problem you’ve conjured up. Harry’s the most recent person you’ve texted and you swipe open your conversation, finger hovering briefly above the call button before tapping it gently.

There’s a chance - a small, miniscule one - that he won’t be awake. You’ve been texting him nearly every minute of every day, constantly calling him and FaceTiming and you know his sleep schedule is worsening like yours. He goes to sleep later and wakes earlier and takes naps scattered all throughout the day, so you’re prepared, emotionally, for him to not answer your call. You’ll be disappointed, perhaps, but there’s a bottle of melatonin in your bathroom you’ve been trying not to abuse during the nighttime. It makes you drowsy for working online and continues to afflict you during the day, so you’ve been trying to stay away from them.

Doesn’t mean you won’t use them, though. You simply don’t want to - if Harry doesn’t answer so you can chat until you’ve tired yourself out, then you’ll make the trek into the bathroom and succumb to the stupid pills -

“‘Lo?”

Your heartbeat picks up as you push yourself to sit up further in bed, pressing your phone close to your ear. You should’ve expected that your boyfriend would be awake now, considering it’s only 7:30 in LA, but it still brings a smile to your face to hear his voice.

“Hey, babe,” you murmur, voice quiet in the darkness of your room. There’s no one around for the loudness of your voice to disturb, but it still feels right to keep it low. “Hope I didn’t wake you.”

Harry chuckles on the other end, and you try to picture what he’s doing. When he’s home you’re usually eating dinner at this time, or curled up on the TV watching a movie, or fucking in the bedroom - “‘Course not. Jus’ got off the phone wit’ m’mum an’ had t’shower. She misses us.”

“I miss her too,” you tell him, smile widening at the thought of Anne. Yes, you miss her quite a bit - she’s always been kind to you, and more of a second mother than merely the mum of your boyfriend - but you have some sort of ulterior motive for calling him, so you figure you should get right to it. “I miss you a lot, Har. The apartment’s awfully empty without you here.”

There’s a beat of silence on the other end, for just a second, before Harry’s responding, “I miss you too - ‘course I do. Wish I’d canceled this stupid fuckin’ LA trip - I’d do anything t’be home wit’ you now.”

You sigh softly, leaning your head back against the headboard of a bed that’s feeling entirely too big for you right now. You’d always complained that Harry slept like a starfish and took up entirely too much space, but you’d swim across the ocean to curl up in bed with him for just one single night. “I haven’t been sleeping much, either. Guess I’m too used to having you here with me. You know, waking up with you on top of me and middle-of-the-night sex.”

“Middle-of-the-night sex,” Harry sighs dreamily, and you tug your bottom lip between your teeth with the beginnings of a smirk working its way onto your face. “God, I miss that. M’hand just can’t do the things you can. Doesn’t even come close, really.”

“I hope so.” And you give him a moment to bark out a laugh before continuing, clammy palm pressed to your bare thigh beneath your comforter, “My fingers aren’t doing too much, either. They’re not as big as you - can’t get me off an inch.”

His breathing is growing heavier, loud even through the phone, and you know you’ve got him right where you want him - you’re horny and he’s surely getting hard and you’d like nothing more than for him to help you get off. Just his voice, slightly raspy and deepening with every syllable, is enough to make wetness pool in your panties. “Jesus, doll - gonna make m’hard.” And then there’s a pause, where you’re surely meant to respond but all you can do is grin and try to control your breathing, before Harry murmurs, “S’what what you wanted? Wanted t’make my dick hard?”

You nod, and then breathe, “Yeah.”

“Bloody hell, you’re a minx, y’know that?” And you did, in fact, know that, so you confess your affirmations. “Guess that’s why y’woke me, then. Need me t’tire you out, don’t you.”

It isn’t a question - Harry can read you like a book, even 5,000 miles away, and he knows exactly what your intentions are. “I just miss you.” His soft, cocky laugh on the other end has you sliding your hand up your thigh, pushing your digits into your lace panties and feeling the wetness present in the apex. “Really - I miss you, and your dick - just please help me get off, Har. Won’t bother you with it ever again.”

“Don’t have t’take it that far,” but you’re hardly listening to him. The first circle of your fingers on your clit has you moaning quietly into the receiver, and you can hear Harry’s sharp intake of breath at the sound. “Startin’ without me, are you? S’awfully rude.”

“You’re taking too long,” you exhale, running your fingers through your soaked folds - but you pause, anyway, listening intently to the shuffling on the other end of the phone. “Got me so wet, just hearing you talk.”

When another second goes by with no response you pull your phone from your ear, pressing the speaker button and resting it on your tummy. You grab your comforter and pull it off the bottom half off your body, letting the cold air hit your bare legs, just as Harry groans, “Okay - m’ready. Had t’go back t’my room - but m’here now.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, taking just a moment to listen to his quiet grunts and imagine exactly what he looks like right now - sitting on the edge of his bed, pumping his cock, slow and steady at first, just to get started. “Wish you were here with me,” and as eager as you’d been to have your first phone sex experience, you hadn’t counted on the slight awkwardness that makes it harder for the words to come out. “Been - been dreaming about it, about you fucking me so good, and I wake up drenched, Har, just thinking about you.”

Just as you’d expected, Harry takes over almost immediately - he’s much better at dirty talk than you are and it’s only proven when he moans, “M’always thinking of it, fucking your pretty little cunt ‘till you’re crying. And you love it, don’t you? Moanin’ so good for me, so loud - the way you cry when I pinch your clit - can y’do that f’me, doll? Pinch your clit, just the way I do it.”

Shaking fingers dip out of your folds and trail the wetness up to where you need it most - the sensitive nub that’s throbbing for your touch. Just as he’d asked, you use two fingers to softly pinch your clit, the small action sending waves of euphoria flowing through your body as you drop your head back with a cry. It reverberates through the room, louder than any of your moans and whines, exactly as Harry had wanted.

“Wish you could do it -” you do it again and give him the same resounding cry, circling your clit one more time before dragging your fingers back down to slide between your folds. “Your fingers, they’re so much bigger than mine - feel so much better.”

“Fingering y’self?” His voice is nearly whiny with excitement and you know exactly how he looks now, his bottom lip between his teeth and sweat beading up on his cupid’s bow. “Tell me how it feels.”

You can’t quite describe it, even if you’re desperate too. Fingers curl in your cunt, brushing against the sweet spot inside of you that has your back arching off the bed, nipples pebbled and hard against the material of your soft tank top. One isn’t enough, and it doesn’t fill you nearly as much as Harry’s so you add another, taking just a second to run it through your dripping folds before pushing it in. “Oh, god - feels so good, thinking of you - two of mine s’hardly one of yours.”

To that, you get a loud groan, mingled with a low cry that sends chills crawling up your spine. For a second he doesn’t respond and you wonder if he’s cumming already - but then he’s grunting, “Miss you, on all fours f’me - s’how I’ll take you first when we see each other. G’na let me pull your hair, know you love when I do that -”

You do love it, and merely remembering the feeling of him, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail and pulling your head up when it starts to droop onto the mattress, has your walls clenching around your digits, and you impulsively add a third.

“ - or maybe I’ll jus’ bury my head in tha’ cunt of yours. Miss the taste of it so much,” and Harry’s voice picks up, in speed and pure excitement, and you can hear the faint sound of him, pumping his cock. It’s hard to think of anything you’d love more than to watch him eat you out for bloody hours, fisting his hair and tugging on his curls just to hear his sobs. The way he flicks his tongue against your folds and slaps your clit when you squeeze your eyes shut in pure euphoria. “Taste so sweet f’me, don’t you - taste y’self for me, doll. Know you taste so good.”

Harry’s got such a hold on you, sometimes - perhaps you’d even say all the time but especially during moments like these. So you don’t hesitate to pull your fingers out of your cunt, walls fluttering around the sudden emptiness, and you bring the digits up to your mouth. Slowly your tongue swirls around your fingertips before wrapping your lips around them, and the soft moan as you taste yourself has Harry whining on the other end, the noise long and low.

Normally, when Harry asks you to do something like this you would put on an absolute show for him. Pumping your lips up and down his shaking digits, eyes never leaving his as his lips slowly part in a needy pant. And - of course - you’d always know that, when you pulled your mouth off of his fingers, you’d be absolutely in for it, and that was the thrill of it. He can’t see you (FaceTime sex is something you’ll need to bring up another day) but you still perform, adding more volume and less eye contact with the darkness around you.

His breathing is rattly when you drop your fingers down to your thighs, fingernails curling into the soft skin as you would do his back or his scalp. You give him briefly a second to take everything in, the images he must be producing, before you breathe, “Tell me what you’re doing, Har.”

“M’gonna cum soon - gonna cum on m’fist, imaginin’ s’your pussy -”

“Yeah? Imagining me sitting on your cock, right?”

By Harry’s resounding moan - the exact noise he makes when you ride him and he tosses his head back in ecstasy - you can assume that he hadn’t been imagining that, but he surely is now, and so are you. God, the way you lean back, hands to his thighs, feelings his palms run up your stomach. And they’ll circle your tits, tweaking your nipples with a lazy smirk at how fast they pebble in his fingertips, before dragging down to your clit, on display for him - and he moves them so slow, but he knows you’re aching for it.

You squeeze your eyes shut, focusing two fingers to circle your clit and sensually dragging your free hand up to your boobs as Harry moans, “Your pussy s’so tight around me - g’na fuck you so hard when I see you - you’re not gonna walk for weeks.”

It sounds absolutely dreamy as two of your fingers pinch at your nipple, closing your eyes tighter. If Harry were here he’d grab the back of your head, force your body down to his so he could lap at your nipples and relish in your sobs - and you can’t do that, necessarily, but you bring your thumb up to your tongue, licking the shaking digit before lowering it back to your nipple. It doesn’t give nearly the same effect but it’s close enough, and you can feel your cunt fluttering with desperation to cum. 

“Playin’ with my tits, Harry - pinching them just how you do.” You swallow back the urge to sob out, if only because the noise will trigger just the sort of choked up moan from your boyfriend that’ll send you over the edge and you want to last longer, dammit. “Oh, god -”

“Y’cummin’, baby?”

“No,” you exhale, “not yet -”

“Good,” and you can tell merely from the teasing lilt in his voice that you won’t last past the end of his sentence (and his staccato pants are already enough to have your clit throbbing beneath your touch), “‘cause I keep thinkin’ about that time - fuck - that time we shagged in y’mum’s house, remember? An’ I had to put y’knickers in your mouth, ‘cause you were -” and his rant is cut off by the telltale whine that’s almost always accompanied by him cumming near violently - “bein’ too loud, an’ we didn’t want your mum to hear? Be loud f’me, babe, please, need t’hear you -”

You remember that - how he was fucking you so goddamn hard your bed was hitting the wall and he had to drag you to the floor, pressed to your carpet with your drenched lace panties in your mouth. And Harry tossed your legs over his shoulder like it was nothing, pounded you into the carpet while your mum was asleep just a few doors down the hall, hand firm around your throat. He’d never done that before and God, you love it. Love it almost as much as you love him, but you figure you shouldn’t dwell on it now.

His words have the exact impact he’d hoped for and your head slams into your headboard with a choked up cry, loud through your room and into your phone, still resting on your sweaty stomach. Wetness coats your fingers as your assault on your clit continues, arm shaking with the pressure of riding yourself through the orgasm while still trying to listen to Harry - he’s sobbing out, sound of skin against skin growing louder until you hear the euphoric groan that tells you he’s reached the same high you have.

It’s a gorgeous harmony of your moans mixing together - his crackling through the speaker that’s been used and abused during your little session - and you know you’ll never get tired of it. No matter how many times you do this - for as long as you’re apart - you’ll never, ever get tired of it.

Your body is still trembling when the shockwaves of your orgasm start to wither down. There’s a thin sheet of sweat, coating your body and beading in your hairline and your fingers are covered with your cum, the bed sheets beneath you damp, too. You’ve only ever squirted a few times before - in Harry’s mouth, for the most part, with that bloody talented tongue he’s got - and you wipe the slick onto your thighs before sitting further upwards, grabbing your phone.

Harry’s silent on the other end and you squint at the screen to check the time. Your vision is clouded - perhaps your brain is simply clouded - but you reckon it says 4:00.

“Jesus,” he breathes on the other end, hardly audible through the phone. In your mind’s eye you can picture him, passed out on the bed with his legs still dangling off, running a hand through his hair to try and alleviate the sweat sticking to the curls. “Gonna have t’shower again.”

You smile, shifting back down so you’re fully lying in bed. There’s still a wet spot beneath your arse and your back but you’ll worry about it when you wake up (whenever that may be.) The idea of even moving back over to your usual side of the bed sounds like pure torture, because if you bury your nose in Harry’s pillow, it smells like his cologne with just a hint of the strawberry shampoo he sometimes steals from you. “Tired me out there, Mr. Styles.”

There’s the sound of rustling on the other end of the phone before Harry’s murmuring back, “M’glad - y’need to get some sleep, y’know. S’not good for you to be up so late.”

“I know.” Your eyes are already beginning to feel heavy as minutes continue to click down on your phone, and hearing his soft breathing is fucking therapeutic. If you close your eyes (which feels oh so good) you can almost feel him, body tight around you as he pulls your back to his chest, nestling his nose in your locks with a deep inhale that never fails to make you giggle. “I love you, Har.”

God, you can almost hear him smiling on the other end. You miss it so much - his smile - but just him, and feeling his arms around you, heartbeat against your spine lulling you to sleep. Whenever quarantine is over and you’re free to go to him, you won’t wait a second. You’ll hop on the first plane - you’ll fucking tape yourself to the side of it, if you have to.

For now, though, hearing him sleepily mumble, “I love you more, babe,” is enough. And you keep your phone planted on your chest, Harry’s steadying breathing like music to your ears as you settle in for what’s gearing up to be the best goddamn sleep of your life.

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: If it's not too much to ask, can I have headcanons for omega Shouto with an alpha s/o? Nsfw or sfw is up to you! Love your writing, love! 💞💞💞

I've been waiting for this moment for fucking W E E K S

Thank you 😌

And this is gonna be HELLA long :)

SFW-

• Sof boy

• He's quiet and can have an intimidating demeanor but he's a baby and he WEAK for you

• I mean the first day he saw you, he felt something

• At first he thought you were another omega

• You were shorter than him and the smile you sported the first day had him fooled

• It wasn't long before he realized you were an Alpha

• You and a few of the other Alpha females of the class were particularly protective of the omega females

• specifically you and Mina

• It came as no surprise that you ended up in the Bakusquad later on

• You didnt exclude the few omega males either

• When he first meets you, like actually meets you, is when he realizes you're an Alpha, based on smell alone

• You smell like Sandlewood and Chai and he LOVES it

• It makes his knees weak

• and you're just so soft?

• Like you have that calm that good Alphas posses and you use it often

• And when you use it for him one day, because he was freaking out, he thinks he's gonna pass out

• It took him WEEKS to realize the pangs in his chest werent physical

• He liked you

• and he doesn't feel like waiting around so he courts you instead and when you look surprised he isnt sure what to feel

• And then regret and dread fill him and he wishes he could just be normal with social cues and interactions

• And you realize he's zoned out a little, shaking and it looks like he's going to cry and you use that stupid Alpha thing on him

• You coo softly and pull him into your chest, telling him it was okay

• And he feels like he's gonna die again but he loves it so much and he's SO relieved when you accept his courting

• When you hugged him he realizes just how touch starved he is

• Anyway that's hour the powercouple of 1-A began

• He's not a big fan of PDA but he's not opposed to holding your hand

• Or sometimes he's had a bad day or he's not feeling the best mentally and he won't care he just wants to be with you

• Will 100% walk into bakusquad hang out in the common room just to hide his face in your shoulder

• Or sit next to you quietly

• You'll wrap an arm around him and press a kiss to his temple while you continue your conversation with Sero and Denki

• Listen they think it's the CUTEST fucking thing

• Because it is. It really is.

• Bakugou pretends it grosses him out but it really doesnt

• He honestly thinks it's a lil cute too and mentally swears that if his BF dont treat him the way you treat yours he dont want him

• Yall will help eachother study

• Because he's good at math but you're good at english

• So it balances out

• And training. Lots of sparring.

• You're also the one to calm him down

• Todoroki tends to beat himself up a lot over his 'daftness'

• He doesn't always pick up on social cues or know how to keep a conversation

• And he hates that because he feels that sometimes it makes people feel uncomfortable and they're his friends and he doesnt want that

• So it'll get to him and sometimes if he over thinks it too much he'll start to panic

• You told him that whenever he felt like that, he came to see your it he called you

• He feels like it's a burden but when he see's the look of love in your eyes and the way you hold him and kiss his cheeks, he doesnt feel like that anymore

• He's so happy with you???

• and he loves you so much

• Y'all are just so disgusting

• Sappy as fuck but also the right level of completely roasting eachother

• It's nice:)

• He cooks for you no doubt

• You make him Soba when he's sad

• When you're sad he'll hold you against his chest and whisper in your ear to counter whatever you had just said

• If you ever feel mediocre it less than him he'll tell you why you're absolutely not less than him

• Ys fights aren't really super serious but it can still get a little heated, it never ends it break ups though

• It usually ends in taking a few hours to calm down (Todoroki refuses to let either of yall go to sleep angry with a problem unresolved) then talking it out and at least TRYING to come to a compromise

• Usually it's about wellbeing matters (overworking and being reckless and what not)

• Going full Alpha if someone fucks with him in battle 🤪

• Going full Alpha if you see him hurt on the field 🤪

• Snapping at Endeavor that one time 🤪

• Him going feral that one time you and Bakugou got SNATCHED 🤪

• Oops 🤪

• LISTEN

• You show him memes and Vines and junk and you teach him about them and one day he just makes a reference but he's completely deadpan about it and you're laughing so hard you fall out of your chair because HOLY SHIT

• He grins a lil

• His alpha laughed at his joke🥺

• S c e n t i n g

• Todoroki loves smelling like you

• He'll steal your hoodies (the oversized ones you have anyway)

• OR he'll have you scent some of his things because he's gonna smell like you dammit

• also gives you a box of your things that he's scented and you dont even mind because Todo smells so good and it's gonna make him happy so hell yeah

• For him Scenting can either be really calming or erotic

• To wind down he'll sit on your bed and you'll be on his lap, scenting him and it just makes him feel so calm

• Will fall asleep

• When he gets really comfortable with kissing he'll be constantly pecking your lips and kissing the nape of your neck when no ones is paying attention

• Once while you were on the couch with Bakusquad, he was walking by with dekusquad to go out and do whatever nerd shit they do

• And he stopped where you were, moved your hair to the side and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck and then just. Walked away.

• needless to say you short circuited

• and he does that often

NSFW-

• I once read about Sub/Bottom Todoroki and

• I can't stop thinking about it bc it lowkey works so well

• I feel like he'd be a switch though

• Like somedays he want to be wrecked by his Alpha

• But sometimes he wants to see you squirming and breathless underneath him

• He'd probably prefer to sub/bottom tho

• As I said before scenting can either be really calm for him or it can be erotic and like an immediate turn on for him

• So when it is like sexy time, and you're scenting, this man doesnt stand a chance

• He's whimpering and he's so hard it hurts

• He's got his neck bared for you and his face is read

• It smells like pure sex in the room, its really strong and you both LOVE it

• One time he gets hit by a heat inducing quirk

• And you help him with that because it so much worse than regular heat and you can tell its hurting him

• And he smells so fucking good

• Before he really lost all sense he managed to put a collar on you you couldn't mark him, your Alpha wasn't pleased with that

• Anyway Todoroki gets fucked into the mattress repeatedly, mewling and crying out and he's so fucking pleased with your hips rutting into his

• he feels so full and his omega is fucking KEENING because if the attention he's getting

• You're either leaning over him or you've got your hands on his waist

• He's never been more thankful for the stretching you've made him do so he wouldn't pull muscles

• After a week of the two of you going MIA, the two of you timidly return to 1A

• At some point the teachers (and endeavor) had found out.

• But what were they going to do? You two weren't on school grounds, you weren't breaking any rules

• Endeavor sure as hell isn't going to interfere

• I feel like even Endeavor would understand the gravity of the situation and that the only way to help his son was let him and his Alpha take care of it

• and as long as he's not officially marked by the end of it, he doesn't care

• Shouto does, however, have a shit ton of hickies and scratches and bruises. Everytime he looks at them his omega keens again and he loves it

• Like, Hickies on his jawline. Hickies on his arm and the back of his neck, on his thighs and stomach

• Bruises on his wrists and hips and thighs

• Like all this shit is visible

• He reassured you after you apologized profusely for like 2 hours that it was FINE and he LIKED it

• His class had a fuckin stroke

• especially Deku

• Bakusquad is lowkey impressed bc holy fuck YOU did that???

• 'You seemed so Vanilla'

• Lmao sikeee

• Todoroki learned a lot about what he liked during that

• He likes having his hair pulled

• He likes being praised and told how good he is

• He likes being DENIED what he wants until he's BEGGING for it in short and broken gasps, moans, and sobs.

• He likes Sharp and rough sex followed by something sweet and slow

• He probably wouldnt be on board with being degraded really, which is fine bc I cant imagine anyone who would want to degrade this boy

• From then on you do tend to help him with heats they just dont last as long

• He really likes grinding

• Just like all forms of it

• Making out? He's going to have you grinding on him while you're sitting on his lap

• He's horny and you're busy? He'll ride your thigh while you're doing work on the computer

• He felt like Domming today? He's going to grind himself on you while he's still got pants on.

• Laying in bed? He'll hump and grind against your thigh while you smile and kiss him.

• He just really loves it

• /Thourougly/ enjoys foreplay

• one of his favorite parts about sex

• When he doms- he starts out a little nervous unless he's in a mood but he'll quickly fall into it

• His voice is just so suited for being a Dom like wtf

• He'll lean down and whisper in your ear

• 10/10 dirty talk

• Uses his body as sex appeal to make you squirm

• will cuff you

• Will tie you up

• He'll not let you touch until your like really close

• He likes to see you come undone underneath him

• He thinks you're so pretty when you've got drool dribbling down your chin with your eyes lidded and face red

• He thinks your moans are the best

• I don't see him as being particularly loud in bed until he's actually a mess

• so it starts off as quiet groans and silent moans but as it goes on he'll get louder

• in heat though he's VERY loud

• Let's say you're in the middle, it depends on what's happening

• Y'all have the perfect balance of absolute filth and it's never boring :)

[brw]

Thoughts on marvel's Hercules?

me and the mutuals gonna have a group breastfeeding session with him <3 last day of pride month be there or be square

JFJEURURUDURJ SERIOUSLY THO I. i love him sm. he's 6'5 he's incredibly muscular he's an IDIOT no thoughts head empty and contrary to popular belief he DOES respect woman. he is a chronic women respecter. if it was a toss up between never eating pussy again and becoming a supervillain baby he is calling up fuckin. doctor doom, mephisto, thanos for tips.

what i love abt him also is that he's an idiot but he isn't necessarily stupid? like he's got ✨ street smarts ✨ . he can't do math and can't read or spell but he knows exactly how to slow roast a boar you caught yourself without getting sick in the rain. if you get stuck in a faraway unfamiliar planet he's the man you want to tell you whats safe to eat and what's not.

i also like him bc. u know that one article that's like "everyone is sexy but nobody is having sex"? hercules feels like a character who works out and looks the way he does to fuck. and let me be clear that is a good thing. too many characters are accidentally obliviously handsome or use their looks for some sort of power or manipulation and hercules is just horny all the time and has a plan to seduce everyone on the avengers. i ADORE him.

BUT HE'S ALSO LIKE????? SO SAD????????? he's LITERALLY 3000 years old like how many of his friends are dead 😭 how many people has he outgrown... and like. the fact that he LITERALLY burned to death after throwing himself on a fire in extreme pain than his dad rocks up is. insane! insane!! and like he's always been an outsider in olympus... too humanlike to fit in there and too godlike to fit in on earth, his home... genuinely fucked up. i also get emotional abt early hercules who was LITERALLY just a little baby who couldn't control his own strength and accidentally KILLED loads of people because he was that strong that he could do it accidentally???? and he felt so GUILTY over it its insane its literally insane. bitch is traumatised please take him to therapy.

anyway he's my baby my meow meow my little boy my husband my dad my weird uncle all at once. giving him a little kiss rn. possibly my favourite Canon Queer™ character at marvel. i rped this man for a solid 2 3 years so u know he's my boy. he's technically my first marvel character you know!! i just love him so much!! hoping that at some point in the near future we get flashbacks of him being bi in 1000bc Greece & also someone to acknowledge all his kids, adopted and biological. it is time for his dilf era methinks.

ask "thoughts on _____"

[hallelujah-lockandload]

Sweet Venom 2

Here is a link to the first chapter on here

The Wattpad link that has more chapters. I take a while to post here since AO3 and Wattpad give me more feedback :c

The first three days of school went by fast which is nice. Now it's Friday which means sleepover with Mikey! It's something we’ve always done the first week of school but also because we are literally best friends and my parents don’t care enough to realize I’ve slept over his house multiple times. The Way’s mom is always really sweet and makes us leave the door open cause we’re “teenagers and teenagers are horny”. She didn’t say that to us but I already know that's what she thinks and I’m also the only girl allowed to stay the night at all at their house unless it's a group sleepover.

I got up as usual and dressed in some black bottoms today and a smashing pumpkins tee. Walking down stairs to an empty kitchen is always nice, it means I get to take my time and actually be somewhere in peace that isn’t my room. I got breakfast ready and sat at the table scrolling through my phone texting Mikey.

y/n/n: Sup loser.

Mikey: morning punk. 

    u excited for tonight?!

y/n/n: OF fuckin course!! 

    Watchin movies and complaining and catching up

    Even though i see you all the time

Mikey: I still look forward to our yearly first week of school Shit Talk Sleepover

y/n/n: SAaaammme!

Mikey: Gotta watch some shitty hs movie this time

cause its your last first week shit talk

y/n/n: I don’t know mikes I still got college and youll be a senior

Mikey: tru

As I ready Mikey’s “tru” I finish my breakfast and then head up stairs to finish getting ready. I put on my usual makeup and brushed my teeth. My hair looks decent so I’m leaving it, no one will tell I didn’t brush it unless they run their fingers through it so whatever. As I reach the bottom of the stairs I hear a car honk outside my house. I go to the door and peek out and there’s Mikey and Gerard to pick me up. I wave and go grab my shoes and check my phone to see if Mikey said they were coming at all cause I didn’t think they'd be here. 

Mikey: we be picking u up early loser. (timestamp 5 minutes ago)

Of course the one time I don't check my phone so they have to wait a few minutes for me to tie my hightops and grab my bag. I lock the door as I close it behind me and head to the back seat of Gerard’s kind of beat up black Corolla. It's an older used car but it works for getting us all places. 

“Morning guys” I say, throwing my backpack into the back seat and stepping in.

“Morning y/n/n. You were late” Mikey said while Gerard just hummed in response to my greeting. I closed the door and off we went.

“Yeah well I didn’t see your text jerk” I said hitting Mikey’s shoulder lightly. It's too early for being rough. Mikey just laughed and we rode in silence to the school with Gerard’s playlist coming through the speakers.

~ 

The school day passed slower today than the last few. Probably because I was excited for the sleepover tonight with Mikey. I looked over at him in math and it seemed like he felt the same way. Once classes were out for the day I went to grab my stuff from my locker.

“Hey cutie” I turned to look at Patrick.

“Where’ve you been all day, jerk?” I laughed as I pushed him away from me. 

“Places…” He smirked turning to lean against the lockers. “Mostly hiding from Carry which meant I couldn't hang with you cause I knew she would look for me there.”

“Dude.” I said staring at him.

“I know, I know. I just need to find her a new boy to crush over”

“Fast,” I added, closing my locker.

“Hey guys!” I turned to see Pete and Mikey heading our way. 

I leaned over to Patrick, “I'd say point out Pete to her but that would just be cruel.” I laughed and so did he.

“What are you two idiots giggling about?” Pete said, stopping next to us.

“Nothing.” Patrick and I said together. We looked at eachother and just cracked up even more. 

“Ugh” Pete groaned and turned to Mikey, “Control your bestfriend.”

“You first” Mikey responded with a smirk. 

Pete rolled his eyes, “Lets get the fuck out of here, schools been out for like 10 minutes.”

“Oh that's so long” I said sarcastically as I fixed my backpack on my shoulder.

“Shut up.” Pete said smiling as we started to head out of the hallway and make our way to the front of the school. 

“Hey Mikey how's operation Sweet Poison going?” Patrick said over my head.

“I’m working on it.” Mikey mumbled giving Patrick a glare.

“Oooooh! What's Sweet Poison?! Let me help!” I said turning to Mikey.

“You can’t help cutie, it's a secret” Patrick said next to me.

“Yuup. Only us boys get to know” Pete said. I glared at Mikey who was looking everywhere but me. Looks like I’ve got some secrets to get out of Mikey now. Mikey keeping a secret from me is new and only a bit concerning. 

“Alright,” I said, shrugging and turning back around, “Keep your secrets. I’ll just assume it's about your crush then.” I smirked as I walked over to the cars seeing Gerard leaning on the hood of his car talking to Frank and Ray.

“Do not,” Mikey rushed up behind me.

“Yeah it's actually not concerning Mikey’s crush for once. Plus isn't that one called operation Heart Eyes?” Patrick said.

“Oh yeah!” Pete nearly shouted, “Fuckin forgot about that. Gotta get moving on plans for that.” Mikey’s face was turning red, which is ahh sweet revenge for keeping me out of the loop.

“Hey guys” Ray said, waving as we got to Gerard’s car.

“Sup Toro-saurus” I smiled at him as he pulled me into a side hug laughing at my usual greeting. 

“So any plans for tonight?” Pete asked the group.

Frank and Ray had a consensual nope and Gerard said sort of. But question? How do you sort of have plans? That's so weird but no one questions it. Patrick says how his only plan is to come up with a plan to get rid of his ex-girlfriend Carry. We all laughed at him but also gave sympathy cause who knew she was the obsessive type? 

“Y/n and I are having our annual first week of school shit talk sleepover” Mikey said.

“We are going to roast all of you behind your backs” I added with a smirk.

“Thats so fuckin rude” Pete said knocking his shoulder against me chuckling. The others laughed lightly too. We chatted for a little while longer before everyone was sick of being on campus and there was almost no line of cars trying to leave the campus. We said our goodbyes and parted ways. 

“You guys can drop me off at my house and I’ll walk over later. I gotta pack for tonight and make sure my parents remembered.” I said as we drove back to our houses. Thankfully Mikey only lives like a five minute walk from my house so I never feel weird walking there even at night. 

“Okay” Mikey said. Gerard just hums and continues to drive. He never talks to me much. I literally have no clue what happened to make him not like me. We have been in the same grade since like 6th grade, I mean he’s older than me cause he got held back in like elementary school but Mikey and I are 90% sure its cause he didn’t want to leave Mikey behind. Which is actually really sweet. But Still! Why the hate? Or dislike. Whatever it is, it kind of makes me sad because we probably could be awesome friends like Mikey says. One day I’m going to figure it out. Or like ask Mikey what the fuck is up. But its not at the top of the to do list just yet. I’m fine with the awkward ignoring for now. Well I mean… for the past 3 years. This will be 4 if things don’t change.

We pull up to my house and I thank them both for the ride, “What time am I coming over Mikes?” I say before closing the door.

“Uuhhhhh idk 7?” Mikey said looking over his shoulder at me.

“Did you just say idk out loud?” I ask him, chuckling with a smirk.

“Shut up. See you later bye.” Mikey says turning around. I laugh and say bye again then close the car door. I walk up the steps, unlock the door and turn around and wave at the boys goodbye to signal I am safe and can get in my home. They always wait to make sure I’m safe, Mikey is a good friend.  As I step in I drop my backpack on the table by the door and kick my shoes off before heading to the kitchen to get a snack. I plop down in a chair as I eat some dried fruit and sip at my water while sending a text to my mom telling her I was having a sleepover tonight. 

Mom: Okay. Be safe. Love you.

Y/N: I will. Love you too.

I put my phone down to finish my snack and think about what movie I wanted to make Mikey watch tonight. Maybe Carrie, I mean it's fitting since Patrick was talking about his ex Carry. Or maybe Mean Girls cause it's a classic. Maybe even High School Musical just to fuck with Mikey. We shall see. I smirk to myself thinking of how mean I’m feeling like being to Mikey. I mean he is keeping a secret from me soo.

Once my snack is done I head upstairs to change into more comfy clothes for the day. But I kinda realize I should shower first cause school is fricken gross. So I grab a pair of black leggings and a baseball tee cause uhh no one needs to see my butt thanks, even if it is just Mikey and Gerard. I spend probably too long in the shower singing and just enjoying the heat but it's not like I don’t have the time. After I get out I brush out my wet hair and throw it back up in a dry towel to help get more moisture out. (real tip right there, double towel dry) I pull on my clothes and head out of the bathroom back to my room. I grab a bag from my closet for sleepovers and pack some pjs, an oversized New Jersey Devils shirt and a pair of shorts along with a pair of pants cause sometimes Mikey’s room is a fricken ice box. Then I grab some shorts and a shirt for the next day just in case we decide to get dressed and go somewhere. 

After I finish packing I head back to the now aired out bathroom to dry my hair and put some much needed moisturizer on my face. No makeup cause it's Mikey and we’ve seen the worst of each other in the past that I don’t ever feel pressured to wear makeup around him. Plus my skin has been looking nice lately. I head back to my room and throw myself onto my bed. The clock next to me reads 4:15, I’ve got enough time to try and take a nap so I can stay awake later tonight. I set an alarm on my phone for 6:15 since I know I might just end up watching tv or playing on my phone but I need to make sure to eat a snack because pizza probably won't happen till 8. I lay down, put on some calming music before setting my phone down and closing my eyes for a bit. 

~

The sound of chimes wake me up. Where the heck am I? What time is it? I look around and realize I’m still in my room. Damn I actually fell asleep, who knew I could nap? I turn off my alarm and slowly pull myself up out of bed. I rub my eyes and grab my bag and some socks to bring down stairs with me so I don’t have to come back up after my snack. I walk down the stairs to a semi dark house. The sun is going down and neither of my parents are home. Cool. I turn the porch light on and drop my bag and socks off at the front door before heading to the kitchen for some snackage. 

y/n/n: we still good for 7??

I text Mikey to double check. Sometimes he forgets when we are supposed to hang out and goes to do something before realizing he’s now late for our hang out. I grab a pb and j sandwich from the fridge and sit on my phone for a bit as I chill down stairs. I check the time after my second pb and j… they are so good I can’t just have one! It’s 6:50 which means I’m allowed to go over and bother Mikey early. I check my phone and still no reply so I send a quick text letting him know that I’m on my way. 

Grabbing my socks and shoes I sit on the floor by my bag taking my time just in case Mikey says not to go over yet. Once my black vans are on I stand up grabbing my bag and keys and checking my phone one more time. It's 6:53 and still no response so I’m heading over anyway so I can bug him. I head out my door, locking it behind me and taking a shortcut through my grass to the side walk. It's only a five minute walk and the sun is setting so it's still nicely lit, plus our neighbors usually stay inside at this time cause it's like family dinner time. I head to the Way house and check my phone at least three more times but still nothing. What a bitch. I think at Mikey, if only telepathy worked with us. Coming up on the Way residence I see the down stairs lights on but Mikey’s light isn’t on in his room. He better be downstairs and not out of the house right now. 

I knock on the door but there is no answer which means Mikey isn’t downstairs or he has headphones on again. I use my spare key, Thank you Mrs. Way, and open the front door.

“Honey I’m home” I say sarcastically as I close the door. Still nothing. I peek around into the living room and no one is there. Odd cause the lights are on. The Way parents are out at dinner at the moment with some clients or something is what Mikey told me during Music Theory today. Next I head to the kitchen but still nothing. I head over to the staircase to go find Mikey upstairs.

CRASH

I jump at the sudden sound nearly dropping my phone, my heart racing and I have to take a moment tocatch my breath. I look toward the basement door that leads to Gerards room. I hope he’s alright. I look back up the stairs and  the nonexistent light of Mikey’s bedroom. Mikey’s light wasn’t on, maybe he’s with Gerard in the basement and they are just messing around. I leave my bag at the bottom of the stairs and kick my shoes off too before heading to the basement door. Why are basements always so creepy? Or is it cause no one is up here that it makes it worse than usual. I’ve been in Gerard’s room before but only to borrow comics and Mikey took me down there. I open the door and listen for a moment before doing anything. There’s just silence and if I didn’t know this house as good as my own I would be feeling way more scared but I still feel like I’m in a horror movie right now. I open my phone up and dial 911 just in case I’m about to be fucking murdered in my best friends basement. 

The lights are on down there which is better than anything else so I start to head down the stairs slowly. As I make it down the stairs I scan the room for the boys hoping they are just fucking with me and are trying to scare me. Reaching the bottom step I look around and notice a person laying on the floor by the open window. 

“Oh shit! Gerard?!” I ran over to him once I recognized his black greasy hair. He’s slumped on his side and groans as I approach him. “Are you okay?” I reach out and grab his shoulder turning him to lay on his back so I can see his face better. I suck in a breath as I notice blood dripping down his chin and also the dark stain at the top of his blue sweatshirt which is probably more blood. 

“Oh fuck!” I jump up and run to his bathroom grabbing a towel and running back crashing down next to him to stop the bleeding wherever the hell it's coming from as fast as I can. I press the towel gently to his face to try and wipe away some blood when his eyes snap open. Oh shit. In an instant I’m on my back, wind knocked out of me and towel still in my left hand with Gerard pinning my arms to the side of me while hovering over me with red eyes.

[bxrningambitions]

All the questions (The two guys)

Kinky Questions, make my muse uncomfortable--go! 

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?-Any of it really, though I do love the counter for its height possibilities, the couch for its comfort and the dryer for its warmth 2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:-Wonderful, always is with these two 3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:-That priest from that show perhaps? Also Takeshi Kovacs and Jopari 4: Something that never fails to make you horny:-Richie’s hands, Rin’s eyes, that look when I’m about to get in trouble, also biting my neck in that spot...thought that is a bit above just horny, isn’t it? 5: Where is one place you would never have sex:-Anywhere kids might pop up. Stepfather’s grave 6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when _ I got too cold and turned into a dragon, mood killer 7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:-Hand tattoos and scar tissue 8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:-Rope 9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:-Bite my neck or call me little dragon 10: Top or bottom?-Switch 11: We were about to _(have a quiet night in)_ but then _(RIchie came home still in costume)_ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in] 12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?- I like multiples, but one will do in a pinch 13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:-That manuscript 14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:Firebutt hated it 15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:-Touch and taste 16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:Brazillian blow torch 17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]-I have, I’m alright I guess, sort of sweet 18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:-Trying to start a family, sure 19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?-Ummmm next question 20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:-Chocolate 21: How big is too big:-15 inches 22: One sexual thing you would never do:-Feet, scat, urine, mummification 23: Biggest turn on:-Them more specific, eyes, voice, arms, muscles, scars. 24: Three spots that drive you insane:-Neck, down there, inner thigh 25: Worst possible time to get horny:-Church 26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:-Love it 27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:-Hammock, fell through and got caught up in it, just a lot of naked spinning, not fun. 28: How much fapping is too much fapping:-I have no idea, more than twice a day, might have a problem? 29: Best sexual complement you ever got:-Mix between my oral skills and that thing I do with my tail 30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:Bald, why bother with the landing strip, just finish the job 31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:-Not at all true, as long as all parties involved enjoyed themselves, sometimes, its about taking care of the other person/persons. 32: Fill in the blank: "If they _(Bite my neck, are married to me)_, we are fuckin" 33: What your favorite part of your body:-I like my eyes and my tail 34: Favorite foreplay activities:-Oral, kissing, touching, mostly Richie’s wings and Sev’s short leg 35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]-Greater than  36: What do you wear to bed?-Nightgowns, their shirts or nothing, depends on my mood and what they are wearing 37: When was the first time you masturbated:-No clue, try not to think about any of my first times 38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?-Not into that, but yes I do 39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?-Before it got too cold. 40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?-Yes, I have, we love it. 41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?-In a triad, so yes, things have happened... 42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?-there was this interesting phallic looking rolling pin that was made out of marble.... 43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?-No, I work mostly on rooftops, that would be weird 44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?-Of course, who hasn’t? 45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?-I don’t really pay attention to that. 46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?-Richie’s hand tattoos, when Rin’s accent gets thicker, when Richie whispers, Little Dragon, things like that. 47: Most attractive celebrity?-Quite partial to Andrew Scott, Joel Kinnamon for some odd reason 48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?-No, why would I? All I have to do is watch them 49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?-Two hours old? 50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?-Yes, but they were removed, both the person and the pictures. 51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?-Being called slave during that is a giant no, I will get up and walk away 52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)-No I do not 53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)-Love it! Just something about it, the control, the surrender, the taste, the sounds.  54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?-I apparently really like them, really 55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?-Nope nope nope 56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?-Cheese? 57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?-wtf is a tumblr? Where did the e go? 58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)-I may have a few.....not telling, a long time. It gets a lot of enjoyment and use. 59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?-No idea what that is. 60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?-Unless it was for my safety, yes I would be 61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?-Been both, against my will, never again 62: Do you watch porn?-Nope 63: How small is too small?-An inch or two?

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?-Yes I have, don’t mind it, I have a tail, scales, and breathe fire post orgasm, comes with the territory. 65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?-It definitely did, it was from the man that I love dearly and he got me pregnant. I’ll let them figure out which I mean. (But disclaimer, I love and married the other man too <3) 66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?-Why? That is such a controlling move?? Maybe Richie’s so his doesn’t get dropped, broken, or lost for a day. 67: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?- No unless asked nicely. Or no pants Thursday 68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?-I would prefer at least trimmed, not really into flossing 69: If you could give yourself head, would you?-Nahhh 70: Booty or Boobs?-Booty, but I do like playing with boobs too 71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?-Bob (In the most basic American accent) 72: Have you ever been on an official date?-Mm, maybe one or two...I am married. 73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)-No, never why cheat? Just break up 74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?-Pixie Stick, because I am short and sweet? 75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)-....I don’t want to talk about this 76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?-Again just no 77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina-I cried, moving on 78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?-Helicopter dick,write my name in the snow, sex, jack off, that’s all I can think of. 

@guard-and-storyteller

[my1stgirlfriendturnedintothemoon]

Writing is so weird for me to be so honest

Like I've been writing for as long as I can remember, fanfic shit before I even knew what fanfic was, me and my friend Sarah used to tell each other stories about our HP self insert OCs in like 5th grade. I have a whole plastic storage tub of notebooks filled with random fanfic and original writing going back to middle school. I'm 29. Some of those notebooks are old enough to vote.

And I've never finished anything lmao. Even stuff where I'm like "this is a oneshot!" I never considered really finished, because there's always some other connected idea.

Anyways I haven't shared any of my writing outside of like, posting things here on tumblr that I know only 3 specific people will read, since like. Before I joined the army??? I think?? Back when I was still using ff net lmao and it was like old Naruto and KH stuff and the one Yume Nikki fic I still wish I had finished, so like 8 years I think.

I hadn't even really been writing much at all this year, outside of a really self-indulgent Warden Surana/Warden Carver Hawke fic that never left my phone notes and will never see daylight bc it's just for me. And then I started replaying FE:A in July and realized I wanted to write about Inigo and Gerome, and I did it! I fuckin opened up my neglected AO3 and I spit out two chapters, and like 300 people read my story and I lost my mind! Three Hundred People! More than my damn high school graduating class. I never in my life would have thought 300 people would want to read my writing lmao

And then of course FE3H dropped and I was like. This is a new fandom, there's not a lot of content out for the ship I want to see, I have a small idea of something I would like to read, I should write it. I'm going to cook this food because the fandom is hungry. And my small idea wound up being a fucking 5k fic, my first smut fic ever, and today it got its hundredth bookmark. 100 fucking people read and bookmarked my horny fic in just one month. Two days after I posted that, I spit out a comedy fic that is currently THREE SHORT of FIVE HUNDRED kudos!!!! Five (5) hundred!!! Like, I'm Math Lady Meme over here trying to imagine 500 different individuals reading and enjoying something I wrote. That is TWICE my graduating class.

So of course, not satisfied with what I had produced, I went out and wrote a 6k fic of a rare pair that was basically entirely smut and the start of a series, because my brain is 100% on Clown Hours, and then made the second part a complete left-field crackpair, and people. Still love it. No one has come to end my life, no one has come with the torches my LJ and FFnet childhood promised. Instead they are praising me and I appreciate it but I still feel like a huge fool lmao!!

Like I'm so scared of negative feedback that I have literally stopped myself from writing things or sharing things for years, and in just one month of sharing things I have gotten so much positive response its overwhelming. I've seen my fics mentioned twice now in the wild while scrolling Twitter, by complete strangers. I bit the bullet and recced one of my fic to someone asking for my rare pair and people like it! I am pretty sure my first smut fic spawned a gift fic for someone else who commented they were interested in a rare OT3 I hinted at!

Anyways I've spent the last week alternately rereading everything I've written this month and going "fuck what the hell this is bile" or feeling like the Palpatine "Unlimited Power" gif even though this is the most attention and 'success' I've ever known in a fandom space, so. This is literally the most productive I've been with writing in years, I've put up 20k words on AO3 since the end of July and I still have like. 6 chapters of this story finished and waiting to be posted if I can just get the damn 2nd chapter out of the way and one of them, all by itself, is 4k. I've been writing like crazy lmao.

This was kind of a ramble but I've been feeling bad about my writing because it's not like some other people's and that's stupid, I may not be writing as much or in the same way but I'm doing numbers for the first time and I should be proud of that.

Over 10k hits I'm gonna shit!!!

Anyways I guess, like. Don't be stupid like me lmao and think no one wants to hear your idea or read your fic, or feel bad if someone else has already "done it", because no one can write it the way you will and there's always going to be someone who is starving for more of that content. I personally don't feel like my stories are that good or even original, but apparently people like them lmao! Share your stuff! You may be surprised.

[ray-rabies]

highlights after today’s live reading of Broken Music by Sting Smig It is around this time that I first meet Miles Copeland, the man who would become our manager, Svengali, mentor, and agent provocateur. Miles Axe Copeland III, the eldest of the Copeland brothers. Intimidating, intelligent, opinionated, and utterly serious. Miles had a reputation even then for being sharp, arrogant, and ruthless. I like him immediately. Though It was a year before he could remember my name. "Listen to me Stewart," he would shout in his nasal drawl just loud enough to be in earshot in the corridor outside his office. "Gene October is the real deal. He can't sing for shit but he's got that street thing. He's a real punk. You got this guy in the band, whatsisname, Smig? He's a goddamn jazz singer." "His name's Sting," Stewart would reply huffily. "Yeah, Yeah!" Miles would say waving his brother away. Ian, the middle brother, agent, amateur bass player, and Vietnam veteran, had become my favorite Copeland over these first few months. Less fanatically driven than the other two to succeed, he had the easygoing, relaxed philosophy of a man who'd been under fire and survived, as if the violence he'd witnessed had given him a broader perspective on the important things in life. Very little seemed to faze him; his agreeable humor became a constant that could be relied on as a counter to the often hysterical rantings of his siblings. He would call me Leroy, just as he called everyone else Leroy. For the sake of consistency, he even called himself Leroy. "Sting huh?" "Yes sir," I reply. "Sting," he says again savoring the word in his mouth like a gob of spit. "You've got the biggest fuckin head in the world." his voice is no more than a malevolent whisper. I'm a little shaken by this to say the least. "What exactly do you mean er Miles [Davis]?" "Saw ya in a fuckin movie man and your head filled the whole fuckin screen." x

"And lastly, Sumner 2- yes that's right 2 percent. Do you know why you got 2 percent in the maths exam lad?" "er no I don't sir." "Because you managed to spell your bloody name right." "Thank you sir. Stewart's swanky Mayfair address that so impressed me has turned out to be a squat. He and Ian and Sonja have only been there a few months. The flat is actually owned by an American lady named Marcia McDonald, Muhammad Ali's publicist. She lent the flat to a friend who then refused to leave, this is George, the large lady who almost knocked me down the stairs when I first arrived. On the suggest of Miles Copeland Jr, Stewart's and Ian's father and a friend of the owner, the Copeland brothers have been brought in as ... subsquatters to make life as uncomfortable as possible for Georgina, so Marcia could regain possession of her flat.If this sounds like a ridiculously convoluted CIA plot, it's probably because it is. The RCA pressing plant in County Durham is a shrine to Elvis Presley. His picture seems to be on every wall in every corridor in the place. We are led into one of the listening rooms, and through a common glass window is another listening room with six ladies all in advanced middle age. They sit like religious devotees under their portrait of Elvis with a blank look of people in a trance. They could be listening to Puccini or Ziggy Stardust but they don't care. I feel like I've walked into some obscure suburb of hell and must force myself not to look at them. 'it's a goddamn classic, its a fuckin smash' [Miles][[Copeland]] moves to kiss me and I instinctively recoil, sinking in abashed gratified modesty. I receive copious slaps, as if I am one of his pet mastiffs. Wayne is a shy, sensitive, complex individual and I like him very much, although with songs like "If You Don't Wanna Fuck Me, Fuck Off" he clearly isn't from quite the same romantic tradition as I am when it comes to songwriting, but he is a fascinating performer. Me caterwauling at the top of my range over Henry's approximations of the chords and the indigested panic of Stewart's drumming. He is a superb drummer and quite capable of driving a small power station with his energy, but he needs to relax more. Andy has a youthful, intelligent face, framed with angelic golden locks. He is urbane, good-humored, something of a dilettante in things artistic, well dressed, and alert to any slightly that may be directed towards him intentionally or otherwise. When I get to know Andy better I will appreciate how well read he is. He has a large collection of books, with a leaning toward the esoteric, an encyclopedic knowledge of film, and is highly opinionated in all matters cultural. All of this might have made him a terrible bore but for his excellent and often absurd sense of humor. He can be the best company and having been on the road most of his life has learned the survivor's knowledge, that to maintain a modicum of sanity when everyone else is losing theirs, you need to occasionally send yourself up.He does this with the same ease and grace that he displays as a guitarist. Stewart and I will dub him the 'art monster' which he will accept as the greatest compliment. i don’t believe i need to share the unremittingly horny anecdote of Smig’s first time with Stew, i feel we’ve all already seen it. for those who haven’t, well.

[marshmallowsims]

All odds in kinky asks for Feyre and evens for Mori

Thank you!!!

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer? “Counter”

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed: “Eh”

5: Where is one place you would never have sex: “Anywhere that familys are at”

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny: “The voice of this guy on the radio” 

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny: “give me money”

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________  [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in] “We were about to eat but then we had sex”

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: “Weed?”

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex: “Don’t like the mess, but also like the mess”

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] “No, and probably”

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had? “My 7th grade maths teacher”

21: How big is too big: “If it hurts I suppose”

23: Biggest turn on: “Re: give me money”

25: Worst possible time to get horny: “At a funeral”

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had: “doing it in my parents bed”

29: Best sexual complement you ever got: “That i’m hot”

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut: “Yeah”

33: What your favorite part of your body: “My ass”

35: Love >, “I don’t know”

37: When was the first time you masturbated: “Last week or something”

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? “If by outside you mean in a car then yes”

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome? “Yes and yes”

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school? “School bathroom yes”

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to? “hmmmm, I’d made a whole playlist, I can’t choose”

47: Most attractive celebrity? “I can’t remember the dudes name, plz”

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now? “2 months”

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny? “people who’re like, really dominant”

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not) “I don’t mind it, I prefer receiving for obvious reasons”

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? “I’d give them a good ass time”

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? “Pornstar”

63: How small is too small? “Better be longer than my finger”

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? “A stranger, no”

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? “I do”

69: If you could give yourself head, would you? “Yeah”

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it? “Weird thing”

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) “No and I never will”

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) “Yes”

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina  “Found it kinda weird looking”

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why: “Bad cause it hasn’t happened”

4: Something that never fails to make you horny: “Big boobies”

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______ “I started giggling”

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]: “Handcuffs?”

10: Top or bottom? “I’m..... bottom”

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary? “Yes”

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you: “I got called milkshake before”

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: “Neva done anything weird”

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: “Use that shit always”

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: “Mustard, I love mustard”

22: One sexual thing you would never do: “Anything that... hurts”

24: Three spots that drive you insane: “Chest, stomach and thighs”

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans: “Yes”

28: How much fapping is too much fapping: “I’m too lazy for that so its whatever”

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji: “I... don’t know. I shave sometimes”

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ______, we are fuckin” “Like video games”

34: Favorite foreplay activities: “Playing video games”

36: What do you wear to bed? “Dinosaur Pajamas”

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? “No, no and no”

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside? “Its too cold/warm outside”

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? “A cucumber...”

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane? “No and no, planes are scary”

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny? “Anime tiddies”

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? “lesbian porn, yes”

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online? “No and if they do i’d take em down”

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?) “I do, I don’t like them but I’ve got used to them”

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? “I don’t like tattoos so much on others but they’re cool”

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? “I haven’t really used food during you know what”

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?) “I own some vibrators and shit”

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery? “I would...”

62: Do you watch porn? “Sometimes”

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? “No”

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day? “I wouldn’t mind”

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? “I wouldn’t mind at all”

70: Booty or Boobs? “Boobs”

72: Have you ever been on an official date? “I have”

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be? “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet”

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed? “I’d cry”

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do? “Scream”

[thieving-magpiexhunting-tiger]

1-78 for both my boys <3

SOoooo manyyyyyy

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer? Is the dryer on? If not couch. -JM Counter. -SM

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why: Good, always good. What can I say? Good partners. -JM Same as Jim, good, good partners. -SM

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed: Fictional…I keep thinking Iron man. He looks like he would be a good bottom. -JM This isn’t something I think about too much, I will admit. James Bond? Or maybe Princess Leia? Could just be me. -SM

4: Something that never fails to make you horny: School girl outfits. Blood, knives, guns, leather, lace, need I go on?. -JM Glasses, blood, knives, pain. -SM

5: Where is one place you would never have sex: Parents grave? -JM Jimmm….-SM No, you did it there already. -JM Not what I meant. Umm…middle of a street. -SM

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________ All I can think of is TMI…a guy passed out once, said he was fine. He wasn’t fine. -JM Wrong brother. -SM

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny: I’m sure something on my above list could be considered weird. Breeding? Knotting? -JM No idea, not much for kink shamming. Ohh, being kink shamed, that’s done it. -SM

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]: Completely bind? Rope. -JM Rope. -SM

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny: See no. 4. -J&SM

10: Top or bottom? Top. -JM Top. -SM

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in] We were about to rim but then his brother walked in. -SM Weirdest threesome yet. Umm, We were about to do it but then he realized he didn’t clean out. -JM

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary? One is enough, wouldn’t say no to more. -JM Me too. -SM

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: There’s this one dildo, knotting…don’t want to talk about it. -JM Not sex related but like 50 guns. That wouldn’t look too good. -SM

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you: I’m not sure there are weird ones? Kitten, baby, Jimmy, daddy, king. -JM I’m not sure I have weird ones either. Tiger, knight, Basher, Jim’s called me that before. -SM

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex: Taste and feel. You Decide if I like or hate it. -JM Something to do with my mouth, pleasuring the other. -SM

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: Oh no, piss kinks, scat kinks, suffocation. All for choking but head in pillow holding me down? I’ll pass. -JM With Jim on the piss kinks. -SM

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] Yes, it’s okay, I would prefer it to be someone else��s or someone else to take it. -JM Have, would again, don’t mind it. -SM

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: If we want another child and know the other are clean, which we do. -JM Condoms don’t stop the kids but yeah. -SM

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had? Me. -JM Jim. -SM

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: Chocolate. Always chocolate. I would like to try whipped topping. -JM Cheese. I’m trying to convince them it’s a good idea. -SM

21: How big is too big: 8-9 is normally the limit. Could go bigger but that’s a good amount with no pain. -JM 9-10 I would say, Jim’s about that. -SM

22: One sexual thing you would never do: I think after trying the ones in 16 there’s nothing left on that list, though I would never want to try them again. -JM Yeah, I wouldn’t want to do Jim’s list on 16 either. -SM

23: Biggest turn on: Didn’t we do this already? School girl, lace, leather. -JM Pain, probably. -SM

24: Three spots that drive you insane: Nipples, hair, dick. -JM Dick, obviously, thighs, scars. -SM

25: Worst possible time to get horny: Middle of a murder? Blood everywhere, happens every time. -JM Giving a presentation in Uni. -SM

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans: Yes, always. -JM Of course, I do. -SM

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had: Gang bang of people I didn’t know. -JM Probably going to regret the cheese. -SM

28: How much fapping is too much fapping: Not something I’ve ever been much for but come on, more that once or twice a week is a bit much. -JM Once a day is fine, doing it more than that there might be an issue. -SM

29: Best sexual complement you ever got: Not sure I’ve ever got a compliment? Magic dick, maybe? -JM That I knew what I was doing and hit every spot. -SM

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji: Either of the first two. -JM If I see a landing strip, I will start laughing. Why give up when you’re so close? Finish or don’t start. -SM

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut: It can be, yeah. If it’s good for the other person. -JM I know the right answer is yes but…-SM

32: Fill in the blank: "If they ____________, we are fuckin" Have a hole. -SM Horny on main, Sebastian. I have higher standards. Are married to us. -JM Fine, marriage and all that. -SM

33: What your favorite part of your body: I like my muscle, I’m quite strong. -SM …I got nothing. Eyes, maybe? Mouth? -JM

34: Favorite foreplay activities: Kissing. -JM Touching. -SM

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to] > -JM = -SM

36: What do you wear to bed? Nothing to t-shirt and boxers, depending on who is there and how warm it is. -JM Nothing. -SM

37: When was the first time you masturbated: 11? -JM 10 I think. -SM

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Yes. -JM Yes. -SM

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? Yes, every time I get a chance. Last date night. -JM Last date night it was. -SM

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside? Well this is the last question again. Yes. -JM Yes, last date night. -SM

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome? Nooooo….All the time. -JM Often we have. -SM

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? Don’t use random objects. Tooth brush once. -JM He fucked me, with a toothbrush! Ummm…Long story but a cucumber. -SM

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school? Work, yes. For a while, I worked at a school. Yes again. -JM Work yes, school, no. -SM

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane? Yes. -JM Yes. -SM

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to? That would be lost on both of us. -JM

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny? Scars. -JM Lip biting and glasses. -SM

47: Most attractive celebrity? That Michael Fassbender guy is hot. -JM You mean James Bond and Princess Leia wasn’t enough? -SM

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? No, don’t really watch any when I can just watch two of the others. -JM Same as Jim. -SM

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now? Well, the one that is currently inside me exists and isn’t out. But if there was another then we wouldn’t even know of its existence yet. -JM As old as Jim’s second one. -SM

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online? Yes. -JM No…well, actually, yeah. Yeah, those are out there. -SM

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny? We once again refer you to the dreaded number 16. -JM

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?) I don’t have them, I don’t have a problem with them. As far as I know no one has. -JM I have some, don’t mind them or anything. Don’t think the others have. -SM

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not) Don’t mind it, see 15 for why. -JM Did we mess up somewhere? This was 15 wasn’t it? Or was that receiving? -SM

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? Don’t mind them. Not one to go after people covered I them but some are okay. -JM I have a couple, don’t mind them really, it’s their bodies. -SM

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? Nope, nope, nope. -JM Nope, nope. -SM

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Garlic? -JM Hot peppers. -SM

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see? On what now? -JM What’s Tumblr and where did the e go? -SM

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?) Yes, we do not have time to go into the giant box full, that would be hours. -JM And don’t forget the dungeon. -SM

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day? I guess, still don’t know what this is though. -JM I don’t see why not. -SM

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery? I think so. -JM Yeah, I can’t think of a way that could be good, if they’re suggesting it then they aren’t happy with me. -SM

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? Been the second. The first sounds better. -JM Yeah, star. -SM

62: Do you watch porn? Nope. -JM No. -SM

63: How small is too small? Don’t think there’s a thing? I mean something can be worked out. -JM Yeah, there are other things that can be done if needed. -SM

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? Yes, more times than I care to count. -JM You’ve read through the history, take your pick. -SM

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? Seb. Yes, it meant he wanted me to put his name down as the last. -JM Jim and it meant l Iove him, it’s clear to see it didn’t mean anything to him though. -SM

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day? That’s all about controlling I think. I mean I have nothing to hide but I don’t want people to not have enough trust in me to need to take my phone. -JM They can but it would be a whole thing with work and getting in contact with me. -SM

67: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"? Not really. -JM Yeah. -SM

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair? Depends on how long it’s been and man or woman, I think. -JM I…could do it. -SM

69: If you could give yourself head, would you? Yeah, probably. -JM I think so. -SM

70: Booty or Boobs? Booty. -JM Boobs. -SM

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it? He is little J and that is enough of that. -JM If…what do they mean if? …his name is Basher. -SM

72: Have you ever been on an official date? No, never why would I do that? I’m married and have 3253270527 kids, yes, I’ve dated. -JM Yeah, too many probably. -SM

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) I was going to say Seb but we had an open relationship so no. -JM I did once, whole thing, I was trying to get out of the relationship. They didn’t want me to. I wasn’t happy. -SM

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be? Big dick? I don’t know, I’m tired. -JM In honor of Jim’s last typo Bid Bick. -SM

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) No, I haven’t and won’t. -JM That’s just… no, no, wrong. -SM

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed? Umm terrified, they’ve been dead for 30 years. -JM I would let them finish and then burn the bed. -SM

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina What is that? -JM I don’t remember. -SM

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do? …how many things can you do with one? I mean give and receive and get yourself off but with a vagina, you can receive and get yourself off so I guess those two. If someone knows three more things, let me know. -JM Yeah, sex I guess. I don’t know what else? Am I fully a girl? Or just me with a vagina instead? -SM

[mangosteen]

tag game oh dang

Oh daaaang I was tagged by @vodka-aunt-coran thank u emma ily

Nickname: Fi is my nickname!!! I’m also called Fififwekjgsssdfsdfeswahfkwfhkfawk, Lance, Finn, Fi... fi... fuh...... (how do you pronounce that name? sorry. alright), Slut Queen, Princess Fiona from Shrek, etc. etc.

Zodiac sign: Virgo

Height: 5′2″ d-d-d-d-dang I’m tiny

Last thing you googled: two point perspective photography (i was lookin for references bc I’m a busy art student I’m so tired help me)

Favorite music artist: (there’s a BUNCH of different ones holy fuck) Shawn Wasabi, Anamanaguchi, K.Flay, Kero Kero Bonito, she, The Orion Experience, Lullatone, Porter Robinson, Madeon, etc. BASICALLY anything that keeps me dancing and keeps my energy up

Song stuck in my head: Spicy Boyfriend by Shawn Wasabi??? I’m still not over it??? it’s STILL SO GOOD??

Last movie you watched: fuckin......... i can’t remember??? I’m gonna see Power Rangers later on tho.... because its the holidays and i have SOME free time (I say with a sketchbook in front of me ehehehehhhheeghhh)

What are you wearing right now: A hogwarts pyjama vest, leggings, and a bathrobe

Why did you choose your URL: fuck if i know, my friend my buddy my pal... I’ve had this url for like 3 or 4 years... I guess its bc its my name??? and it sounded ok???

Do you have any other blogs: I mean I have a couple of saved urls, which i MIGHT do something with if I have free time... I have my bismuth blog @relatablepicturesof-bismuth which i basically dont use rn because I barely have the time to keep up with SU, my aesthetic blog @mangosteen which I’ll probably change the url for bc ITS A GOOD URL AND DESERVES BETTER... i’ll use it for another blog ig its just too good. AND MY ART BLOG @fi-kelly

What did your last relationship teach you? i’ve never been in a serious relationship lmfao I mean I’ve had a thousand other things to deal with and a LOT of emotional growing to do back then, so i guess I was never ready and didnt really know the right people I wanted to date??? shruggo lmfao Ive HAD crushes and stuff but I always knew better bc I’d either be outed if I dated a girl and all the guys are assholes in my old college lmao but I GUESS in previous friendships? it’s okay to stand your ground and if you think someone is fucking you over chances are THEY DEFINITELY ARE AND YOU SHOULD PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE

religious or spiritual: I mean I’m kinda chill on the whole... that... I was raised as a Buddhist and the values that I were taught were GENERALLY... just be a nice person???..... I say.... literally talking about punching someone in the face....... above...... uhhhh.... I mean.... the whole be aware of you place in life and be aware of how you act towards others and understanding balance and stuff like just generally being a nice person, those values stayed w/ me? But I really dont practice so uh

Favorite color: I love ALL colours theyre ALL SO GOOD.... but if I had to choose one I’d have to default with blue because my entire goddamn room is so fucking blue. Like a... turquoise or a somewhat aqua blue

Average hours of sleep: It’s been fluctuating like hell... When I’m super busy I have to sleep like 5 hours a night but NOW ITS THE HOLIDAYS I pass out for like 10 hours of sweet unbroken sleep

Lucky number: I hate maths I’m an art student what the fuck is an algebra

Favorite characters: *THAT ONE RIHANNA GIF* (ill just do one from each series I mention bc if not i’ll be here forever) MY ORIGINAL BOY FINN....... GOD.... HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING SO GOOD IN YOUR LIFE??? All the characters in AT are SO good tho.... I love..... There’s also Lance (wow.... I think I just have a thing abt characters being voiced by Jeremy Shada huh) I mean I gotta say Bismuth from SU because my side blog is ALL HER (even like a year prior to her reveal), Seven from Mystic Messenger, SOKKA!!!! is my BIGGEST fave from the ATLA/LOK series (tho I LOVE all of those characters tbh) ok and also he gets NO love but GERM from NITW??? is great!!! he’s kinda an outsider but he’s super chill and great.... but MAE??? AND GREGG??? AND BEA AND ANGUS AND EVERYONE FROM NITW??? SO GOOD... and if we’re gonna bring video games into it MARU FROM STARDEW VALLEY;;; my WIFE!!! I LOVE HER!!! and from TAZ recently I LOVE all the NPCs (but REN has won me over..... in the 11th hour arc.... roswell is good too..... SLOANE AND HURLEY.......) but my FAVE from the recurring tres horny boys is TAACO... and my fave recurring npc is probably carey fangbattle.... shes badass and loves her geef so much (god i wish that were me) AND I WATCHED A PLAYTHRU OF THE FIRST PHOENIX WRIGHT GAME..... i would DIE for the skye sisters...... also gumshoe,, hes gr9

ok im gonna stop bc I have like a thousand different shows and video games in my head and Im gonna.... .stop... ive typed out too much already hrhrghghhgrh

How many blankets do you sleep with: one thick af duvet and one tiny throw, im content w/ that amount of blankets (tho.... i need more pillows.....I could always use more pillows)

Dream job: *SMASHES THE WINDOW AND RUNS OUT* okay... idk... I really wanna hone my animation skills bc in many aspects im SO bad at it... but I love either writing, directing, or character designing. yeah. its a LOT of work. I know. but I am so fucking prepared my dude. I aint gonna fail this time around lmfao

Ok I am meant.... to tag...... people........ uhhhhh.... my mind is like.... super blank rn........ bc Im still so hungry.... but if anyone wants to do it, just say I tagged you!!!

[just-this-strange-girl]

20-40

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:I've actually never used anything before. Maybe whipped cream..Heh21: How big is too big:Honestly I'm *coughs* quite tiny down there.. So you know. Maybe anything bigger than 8in?😶22: One sexual thing you would never do:Anything having to do with bodily fluids other than blood. NEVER. 😝23: Biggest turn on:Rough, hair pulling, biting, scratching, drawing blood, passionate movements.24: Three spots that drive you insane:The area just beneath my right ear on my neck, my inner thighs, and my chest.25: Worst possible time to get horny:A serious meeting, right before a kill, and during a kill, heh. The blood play lust becomes... Insatiable.26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:Oh my Satan, YES. The louder the better. The male moan is the ultimate turn on. 👌27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:Baha, one time when I was super intoxicated, I thought it would be a good idea to try and have sex on top of the Churchs' roof. Ended up drawing a crowd and Sister Imperator later punished me harshly. My fellow accomplice was smart enough to wear a Ghoul costume when in fact it was actually Papa III. His assistant went untouched. 😂28: How much fapping is too much fapping:I..well..its different for men and women I imagine but.. I don't know.. Maybe more than.. 3 times a day? Don't listen to me I don't know, I don't do these things. 😂😨29: Best sexual complement you ever got:I believe his words were: "When it comes to the bedroom, my darling, your skills are absolutely unparalleled."30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:*cough* B-Bald. Always bald.31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:"Just because a jack in the box doesn't pop out doesn't mean I don't appreciate you cranking the handle."32: Fill in the blank: "If they ____________, we are fuckin":Give me a reach around..😶33: What your favorite part of your body:I adore my bum and very proud of my full, black lips. 34: Favorite foreplay activities:Kissing, obviously. Also giving oral.35: Love (>,Love is always greater than sex, but Sexual love tops it all. 36: What do you wear to bed?Preferably nothing or a big t shirt of Omegas and a thong. Cozy. 😊37: When was the first time you masturbated:Baha.. This is rather personal. To be honest... I never had any urge to until I met Papa III. Then things... Changed. Don't tell him, like his ego needs more of a boost 😂38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?I have nude paintings of myself and have posed for art classes, but I keep my exhibitionist tendencies for "live performances" only. 39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?Far too many times to count. The most recent event is when the Devil impregnated me at the lake I am so fond of.40. {This is the same as the former question 😂} Thank you, this was... Interesting to answer, aha.

[prettyflyforacyguy]

all

rlord christ uh okay

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

kitchen Table. ;3

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

good!!!!! it was early morning and aiden was off work so we decided to mess around and it was just v low stress and nice

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

hm uh. who;s that one tiger from zootopia? shit dice drew a commission of him a while back. the sexy one. he’d treat me right.

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

there are like a million dumb fucking things aiden does that makes me lose my gdamn mind!!!!!! like, when he loosens his tie and gives me The Sex Look or kisses my neck in a certain spot... luv that husband

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

somewhere kids could see :/

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________

one time admittedly when i was new to anal i had the inevitable ShitDick scenario bc i didn’t know how to prep myself properly........im so fucking sorry, trey, im so sorry

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

this petsmart flyer came in the mail once. that was a weird jerkoff. made me realize im deep in petplay pff

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

aiden;s been practicing shibari and it’s pretty fun! i’d say its my fav way to be restrained rn 

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

it aint hard idk

10: Top or bottom?

this bitch be bottomin, my ass is Ready

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

it depends on how much stamina u have or if you’re in the mood for more? that time waiting for the refractory period tho suuuuuuuucks, im so jealous of dfab ppl that can come multiple times :/

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

a valentine’s present for aiden, shhh

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

sometimes aiden fuckign. does French Shit and i dont know what he’s saying until after but it’s kind of become a joke because we’ll be having a really nice moment and he’ll lean in and like, whisper some bullshit like “my little lima bean” or “my sweet polished fork” and i fuckignt rftg,,, IT STILL SOUNDS HOT, WHY IS HE LIKE THIS 

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

that “pop” noise when ur mouth comes off the dick. also, when he like, holds your head with his fingers tangled in your hair and bobs your head down on his cock g gg go gogfdoood thats so hot i love it when he does that to me its nice

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

welcome 2 Trauma Land next question

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

yeah. it’s a pretty slutty thing to do, it’s not great tasting if u don’t like, pineapple and shit but it’s a pretty good way to get your partner turned on more

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

if u and ur partner get tested together and r clean and not seeing anyone else

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

my sophomore year humanities teacher in my study abroad program....holy Fuck. hooooly fuck. mr. nakamura still gets me going to this day. he has a wife tho :(

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

whipped creaaaam!

21: How big is too big:

some bad dragons are really intimidating. christ.

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

let ppl use me as an object again :/

23: Biggest turn on:

humiliation is pretty good

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

my neck

my back

my pussy, and my crack.

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

driving is pretty rough.

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

ch r is  t  y es

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

define “worst,” anon.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

who fucking calls it “fapping” still

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Yikes^TM

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

is this like, a lesbian thing? i dont get it

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

YA GATTA NUT!

32: Fill in the blank: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"

IF THEY TRUCKIN WE ARE FUCKIN!

33: What your favorite part of your body:

my belly........? idk i used to Hate My Mcfuckin Self but aiden blows raspberries on me and its fkin cute holy hell

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

if i suck on aiden’s fingers he basically fucking Dies on the spot, so that’s fun to use. for myself, uhh. thigh kisses are hot. so hot.

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]

there was a a time when i wouldve said sex is bnetter but no, it’s Lov....i Love Husband

36: What do you wear to bed?

boxers, and my husband

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

probably when i was like nine or ten? in the “i dont know this is masturbating but it kinda feels nice” way

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

there’s a lot floating around there but most of it is during The Bad Time

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

uhhh shit its been a while i can’t really remember?

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

mhm. it’s not my fav tho

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

i;ve had more than a threesome, buddy

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

when i was young and desperate and trying anal for the first time i used a vibrating toothbrush but no one told me you’re supposed to not use the brush end. the bristles were rough. 

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

yes to both?? im a tiny troglodyte man what do u expect

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

maybe? this is a very specific situation, i know aiden would rather die than do anything on a plane tho

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

i feel it coming - daft punk

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

literally like anything can make me hard im fucking easy

47: Most attractive celebrity?

my husband....he’s a star, to Me...

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

yes. source: am gay

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

Unborn.

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

yes. i dont particularly like to think abt it but there’s a. big fan community wanting me to “come back” and it makes me super uncomfortable.

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

girls :/

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

i have a couple on my thighs and my belly from some healthy weight gain, but aiden doesn’t mind. he likes em

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

dick....me Sucky Cock...nya

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

i dont rlly care

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

i was a few people’s first lay and it was uh. difficult. they think they can just pound a man’s ass like their fleshlight and it’s rough when you’re like, laying there and your ass is on fire while you remind them to use more lube and also fucking go slower to start

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

sticky rice. good fucking lord, do not use sticky rice.

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

not really? we don’t hide things from each other

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

we own a Shit ton. i’ve had some since i was like, a teenager but i’ve been collectin some over the years

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

oh god no. aiden barely knows what memes are

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

no, me and aiden have already discussed like, scar reduction shit. i have a few nasty keloids :/

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

neither?? i mean, i was both for a while but *SLAMS TRAUMA BUTTON*

62: Do you watch porn?

duh

63: How small is too small?

all dick is good dick!!!!

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

continues to Slam the Trauma Button

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

probably not because aiden’s in a group chat with his work buddies and they’re all middle aged or young mom nurses. im a fish out of water.

67: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?

sure, as long as its not like skinny jeans or something

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?

not rlly. good dick is good dick

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

im p sure everyone tries but usually i get my husband to B)

70: Booty or Boobs?

ass. please god, i’m all about ass

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Ass Blaster 69

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

yes? like a movie and restraunt thing?

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

not that i know of, but there was a point when i was pretty low in life that i hopped around w/ partners and one night stands.

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

the Pole Faller. i have no body strength and im named that bc i’d fall off the pole

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

no??????????? nO??

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

what...what kind of question even is this

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

“god i wanna put my mouth all over that”

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

DOUBLE PENETRATION!!!!!! DOUBLE PENETRATION!!!!!

[lolzcollz]

H U S K Y

“You need to stop moping and get the fuck back out there, girl!” I heard Tiffany yell from the bedroom. I flushed the toilet and didn’t bother to wash my hands.

“I don’t know, Tiff, it’s only been three weeks.” Three weeks ago my boyfriend, Josh, dumped me. I wasn’t expecting it at all. Apparently he linked up with an old high school fling of his and realized the spark was still there so out goes me and in comes Becca. We weren’t dating that long. Only a year or so but I was still heart broken and Tiffany wanted me to get back in the dating scene? No chance.

“Three weeks is plenty of healing time. They say you need one day for each week you dated someone to heal from it. Let’s see, you dated for what, a year?” I nodded. “So, fifty two weeks…” Tiffany started doing the mental math.

“Based on that, I still need roughly four and a half more weeks of moping.” I flopped down on my bed.

“Forget what I said! You need to get out of your house, at least. It’s looking a little…unruly lately.” She looked around the room and made a stank face.

“Fine, let’s go out.” Tiffany squealed with delight. “On Friday.” She stopped her celebration.

“Friday? But it’s only Monday!” She complained.

“Don’t push it. Friday or nothing.” I threatened.

Friday came a lot sooner than I had thought it would. When I logged off my computer at the end of the day and left work I was dreading going out. I tried to think of the different ways I could bail without Tiffany absolutely hating me for it. Almost as if she knew I was thinking of bailing, Tiffany called me.

“Friday!” She screamed at me. I couldn’t help but laugh. Tiffany was my best friend and she always knew what I needed most. “I’ll be at your house in an hour and then we’ll go to dinner and get drinks and then we’re going dancing tonight!” The excitement in her voice made me forget all about bailing. I was actually kind of excited now too.

True to her word, Tiffany knocked on my door an hour later. She dragged me out of the doorway as soon as I opened it, as if she was afraid if I didn’t leave right then that I would get sucked back up into bed which was probably true. I hopped in the passenger side of her car and we were off to downtown. There was this Mexican place we both really loved. It was our go to for whenever we went out to dinner. We ordered a pitcher of margaritas to share and when I was feeling nice and loose, Tiffany started lecturing again.

“I’m just saying, Brit, I think you need to get back out there. There’s no point in moping around. Josh sucks, he’s an ass and you deserve better!” The tequila had wormed its way inside my brain and what she said started to make sense.

“Maybe…maybe you’re right.” I admitted. Her eyes grew wide and eyebrows shot up to her hair line.

“I’m right?” She asked, dumbfounded.

“You’re right.” I had decided. And she was right. Josh wasn’t worth the moping I had been doing. I spent too much time and energy on missing someone who couldn’t even be bothered to dump me in person? Fuck that. “So how should I get back out there?”

“I’m glad you asked!” She said pulling out her phone. “You know those dating apps that are specifically targeted at a certain group? Plenty of Fish for the Jesus freaks, Farmers Only for farmers and Sizzl is for people who love bacon?”

“Wait is that last one real?” I asked.

“Very. Anyway, there’s an app I just started using called HSKY. It’s basically lumberjack looking dudes who are all very hot.” She turned her phone to me to let me look. The guy on the screen was really hot. He was, well, husky just as the app described.

“I could be into this.” I told her.

“I knew you would be.” She winked at me as our food arrived and we chowed down.

The rest of the night was just as I expected, we got wasted. We ended up having to leave Tiff’s car in town and Uber back to mine since I lived closer and she crashed at my house. The next morning we were both hungover and decided to order some food for breakfast and just chill and watch a movie. While we did all this, I had downloaded the HSKY app and I was happily swiping away.

“Why are you smiling at your phone and not paying attention? This is when the unsuspecting girl gets murdered! It’s the best part!” Tiffany asked me during the movie.

“Sorry, I’m talking to a guy on HSKY.” I explained. Tiffany grabbed the remote and paused the movie. I looked up at the screen and the unsuspecting girl as Tiffany called her was tied up to a bed, blood soaked her clothes and sheets.

“What’s his name?” Tiffany got up from her couch and sat down next to me on my couch.

“His name is Ryan.” I showed her his profile.

“He’s so cute!” Tiffany said. She swiped through his pictures and read his bio. “’I’m an outdoorsy guy and family means everything to me.’ Hm he sounds kinda boring but whatevs he’ll do!” She handed me the phone back.

“He’s really sweet so far.” I felt defensive.

“When are you guys gonna hang out?” Tiffany asked.

“We’re talking about grabbing a drink tonight, actually.” I told her slightly embarrassed.

“Tonight!?” Tiffany was surprised. “You move fast, girl! Hell yeah!” She cheered me on. “Get that fuckin dick! Get that husky dick!” She got up and mimicked slapping someone’s ass.

“Tiff, oh my God.” I laughed at her.

“Let’s finish the movie and then pick out an outfit for your date tonight.” She pressed play and we did as she said. When the movie was over we went upstairs to my room.

Tiffany stood in my closet and looked at my clothes. “So you’re definitely going out with him tonight?”

“Yes. We just confirmed we’re going to meet at Red Spot at eight.” I checked my phone to see if he had said anything else but I had no new messages.

“Red Spot, huh? Fancy!” Tiffany was impressed. “So we need something nice but not too nice. Hm…” She pulled out a black dress I hadn’t worn in years. “This could work.” She held it out to me.

“I forgot I had that in there.” I grabbed the dress from her and slipped it off the hanger and onto my body.

“Yup, that’s the one.” She declared. “You’ll get dick tonight for sure.”

“Tiff! It’s not about getting dick. I’m going to get drinks, not dick.” I told her.

“That’s what they all say.” She said. “I’m gonna get out of your hair and you should probably wash yours before your date. Have fun tonight and don’t get murdered!” Tiffany gave me a hug and left. I still had three hours before I was meeting Ryan so I decided to take Tiff’s advice and got in the shower. I took my time, making sure to shave everything. Even though I said I wasn’t going to get dick tonight, Tiff was right, that’s what they all say. It was better to be shaved than sorry.

The time finally came to leave to get to Red Spot at eight. I got an Uber there just to be safe since I didn’t want a repeat of last night and have to leave a car in town overnight. When my Uber driver pulled up to the front of the building my heart started racing. I hadn’t realized how nervous I was. My palms were hot and sweaty and I could feel my cheeks growing red. I took two deep breaths and got out of the car. I walked into Red Spot and standing by the hostess stand was Ryan. He looked exactly like his pictures which I silently thanked God for. He turned around as I walked in the door and smiled at me.

“Brittney?” He asked. He held out his hand to shake.

“Hi.” I accepted his hand despite my sweaty palms and shook his hand with as much false confidence I could muster. The hostess brought us to our table and Ryan pulled out my chair for me. My heart fluttered at the act. After we ordered drinks, Ryan broke the uncomfortable silence.

“So, what kind of work do you do?” It was a mundane question but it got us off on the right foot because we didn’t stop talking the whole night. When Red Spot was closing up we started to get some nasty looks from the servers indicating to us that we were no longer welcome and should probably get going now.

“Looks like the servers want us to leave.” I told Ryan.

“Oh wow, yeah. Are they giving us death glares?” He asked under his breath.

“They are for sure giving us death glares.” I laughed. We got up from our table and walked out of the restaurant. When we were out on the street and looked at each other, neither seemed to know what the next move should be. The spark between us was real and the alcohol had me feeling kind of horny.

“So, should we go somewhere a little less…private?” I asked him. I didn’t know what came over me. I was usually never that direct with someone. His eyes widened at my suggestion and then a smirk came over his face and his eyes relaxed.

“I think we definitely should.” He grabbed my hand and we started walking. He told me his apartment was nearby and if I didn’t mind we could go there. Not a single part of me minded. It felt like an hour walk because every nerve ending on my body was firing at full at the thought of Ryan naked but it only ended up being a ten minute walk.

We sat down in his living room and he asked me if I wanted a drink. I figured we already got this far, what’s one more? He went into the kitchen and came back with two identical looking glasses. I took a sip of mine and asked him what it was.

“Oh, just a specialty drink of mine. I created it myself.” He smiled at me. I drank another sip and the all the booze from tonight and last night hit me. I felt dizzy and nauseous.

“I don’t feel too great. Maybe I shouldn’t drink anymore.” I admitted. My head felt like it was in the clouds. I couldn’t focus on anything for too long.

“Are you okay?” Ryan asked me. “You should lie down.” He took my feet and swung them up on the couch so I was horizontal. The last thing I saw was Ryan looking down at me with a smile on his face that made my blood run cold.

When I woke up my eyes were blurred. I blinked a couple times trying to focus my sight. I saw a room that was unfamiliar to me and remembered I went home with Ryan the night before. I couldn’t remember much after we got back here, just drinking a couple sips of whatever Ryan had made and then getting really dizzy. I played back what happened in my head trying to make sense of it. My eyes finally cleared and I could see where I was better now.  I felt a pressure on my wrists and realized both my wrists were tied to the bed posts. I yanked on them to see if they’d budge but they remained tied. Panic started to seep into my body. What was happening? Why was I tied to this bed? Where was Ryan?

At the last thought Ryan walked into the bedroom. He was fully naked and his penis was erect. He smiled at me and played with something behind his back.

“Ryan?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

“You know you shouldn’t be so trusting on a first date.” He told me. He walked closer to the bed and pulled whatever was in his hands out from behind his back. The kitchen knife gleamed in the early morning sun and blinded me for a second. I felt the knife go into my stomach and when Ryan pulled it back out, warmth spread out around me.

        10.7.2019

Colleen Burke