#‘christopher misses you’ okay that’s insane

[isa-grapes]

why is there a domestic dispute happening in my local grocery store

[facioleeknow]

The art of pleasure ch.7

Docility ° Seungmin

When one girl in your class makes fun of you for being a virgin at a party, you are left distraught. It's only natural that you decide to whine about it to your best friend, Bang Chan; but he does more than lending a shoulder to cry on, he comes up with a solution. He and his 7 friends will help you and teach you all about the pleasure of the flesh. What could go wrong?

Genre: College AU, Smut 18+ ONLY wc:2.1k

Warnings: fraternity skz, experienced seungmin, inexperienced reader, public sex, talk of kinks, spitting, rough sex, pussy slaps, degradation (slightly), name calling, spitting, sort of public nudity, talks of safe word, dom! minnie, titty sucking, squirting

A/N: sorry for the delay guys, I hope you like this ;)

Turns out Felix's reward was pretty simple. After a damn good wipe down, that you both needed, you had found yourself in his bed, dress discarded. Your naked bodies pressed against each other and Felix's plush lips wrapped around your nipple, suckling to his heart's desire. The constant ministrations of his tongue spread a light pleasurable buzz throughout your body, but not strong enough to get you horny again. You were too spent for that, domming for the first time had taken a toll on you but you liked it, you would do it again.

“Hey, I heard the noises stop, are you done?” Christopher bursted through the door, making you jump in place. Felix whined at the movement but a small sweet ‘shh’ from you settled him back into his routine.

“You are unbelievable, Mr Bang,” you whispered with a scoff and motioned for him to stay quiet, you didn't want to disturb Felix after all.

“What? My best friend dommed for the first time and I wanted to know if she enjoyed it or not. Felix seems pretty out of it so I'd say you did a good job,” Chan craned his neck to look at the boy in your arms but you didn't miss his eyes lingering on your bare tits for more than a few seconds.

“Hyung,” Felix whined again, voice muffled.

“It's okay baby, don't worry about him,” you whispered with the sweetest voice you could muster, your lips pressed to his forehead. The sunshine boy sighed against you, his eyelids slowly drooping.

“Best friend? Ouch Chris, you saw me half naked, I thought we had something,” you half joked while you stroked the blonde's hair, the wispy locks tickled your chest.

“We could,” Chris fixed you on the spot with an intense gaze, you could feel your body get hotter and hotter until you had to look away, afraid you might explode. The silence in the room was thick.

“You need to talk to Seungmin, he wanted to clear up some things. I'll put his number in your phone and then leave you to rest.” Without saying anything, you turned your back to him and tried to focus your attention on Felix. His eyes were closed, his mouth still on your nipple and a bit of drool had escaped past his lips and on the curve of your breast. You didn't mind, it was cute. His breath was slow and rhythmic, and not long after your own eyes were starting to close.

When you woke up you were alone in bed, Felix had taken his usual spot at his gaming chair.

“Leaving me alone in bed after the moment we shared? Wow that's cold of you, Felix,” you joked. The chair spun quickly and the boy looked at you with big brown eyes.

“Oh sorry, Y/N, I just wanted to get in a quick match before you woke up.”

“Y/N? I thought it was Miss to you,” you giggled at his face, jaw slacked and cheeks on fire, “ I'm just joking, keep playing baby, don't worry about it.”

Your head hit the pillow again, Felix's bed was insanely comfortable and as much as you wanted to fall asleep again you should've texted Seungmin already.

You: 

Hey Seungmin, it's Y/N, Chris said you wanted to talk to me

Seungmin:

That's right, do you want to meet at the library near your dorm tomorrow at 9 pm? 

I know it's late but I prefer to do this in a public place but I still don't want any people listening to us

You: 

It works for me I'll see you tomorrow <3

Butterflies swarmed your stomach in excitement, you couldn't wait.

The following day, as soon as you stepped foot in the library, you could see him. You hated that particular establishment, it was bleak and cold and the chairs were uncomfortable, but with Seungmin sitting at the table at your right the room looked different; warm and soft and suddenly you wanted to study there all the time. His boyfriend look was no joke.

Seungmin looked up and you hastily moved to greet him, fortunately he didn't seem to have seen you ogling.

“Hey,” he smiled and your heart skipped a beat, his hand briefly squeezed yours, “sit down.”

You had never obeyed a man so fast in your entire life, he seemed to notice that.

“Did hyung tell you what we are going to do?” his voice was still soft but now extremely serious and you were starting to get a bit nervous.

“He only wrote ‘subbing’ on the list.”

“Yes, that's right. I asked you to come here to discuss some things we may try together,” he started looking inside his bag, “I made a list.”

“I have never done anything like this so I don't know how much I can answer.”

“That's okay just tell me if the idea seems nice to you and you want to try, if you don't like it while we do it then you say the safe word and we stop immediately.”

“Okay.”

His smile was reassuring, you had never seen him smile like that but you wouldn't mind seeing it again.

“Okay so what do you want our safe word to be?”

“Puppy,” you didn't even have to think about it, you had heard the guys call him that so many times that it came natural to you.

“Noted. Now I'm gonna list a couple of kinks I want to try and you can decide if you want to try them as well. Just tell me yes or no.”

“Got it.”

“Dirty talk, praise and degradation.”

“Yes.”

“Humiliation.”

“No.”

“Public intercourse.”

“Yes.”

“Slapping and spanking.”

“Yes.”

“Spitting.”

“Yes.”

“Rough intercourse.”

“Yes.”

“Partial public nudity.”

“Yes.”

“Edging.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, that's it, thank you for coming tonight.”

“It's fine,” you could barely talk, all this talking about kinks and sex had formed a damn slip and slide between your legs. 

Despite all of your wishes, Seungmin that night, only walked you to your dorm room and pressed a delicate kiss to your cheek with a promise to see you on the weekend. He wanted to take you to a karaoke room he liked and had requested you wear a skirt.

The weekend came way too quickly for your liking, you were ready and you knew that but this was truly something new and you were a bit nervous. Your sweaty palms smoothed down your skirt for the thousandth time. Earlier Seungmin had sent you a text that had made your heart and your vagine beat wildly.

Seungmin: 

We're gonna start as soon as I see you, I'm gonna be different than usual, is that alright?

You: 

That's okay. Should I call you daddy? Or sir?

Seungmin:

Minnie is fine, leave daddy for Chan hyung.

Wait for me outside if you can :)

Seungmin’s car was gorgeous but he was even more magnificent, you couldn't believe somebody with such an angel face had listen all those nasty kinks.

“Hey, Minnie,” you murmured when you entered the car. He didn't answer, instead his thumb gently caressed your cheek. 

“Are you gonna do what I ask like a good girl?” You nodded vigorously, your whole body felt on fire. 

“Take your panties off then, and give them to me.” 

In a flash, you had scrambled to flip up your skirt and then shove your panties down. Seungmin laughed meanly at your eagerness which made your pussy pulse happily. The boy behind the wheel grabbed the panties and without another word he stuffed them inside his pocket. 

The journey to the karaoke room was torturous, your thighs were pressed firmly to get some release but you didn't want to move because Seungmin had not given you permission to do so. 

The establishment in itself was beautiful, the owner was kind and escorted you to your room while chatting happily. The private room was spacious and modern, the dimmed and colored lights created a cool ambience.

As soon as your ass was on the soft cushion of the sofa, Seungmin was on you, his big hands digged into the plush of your thighs.

“I'm gonna touch you and I don't wanna hear you make any noise, I wanna sing. Got it?”

“Yes Minnie.” 

His fingers came in contact with your pussy roughly, his hand traveled down to your entrance to swipe around your wetness.

“Wet already? Are you a whore?”

“N-no,” keeping your cool while his hand kept busy between your legs was one of the hardest things you had ever done.

“I think you are.” With that he turned around and busied himself with the tablet; when a tune started to play and his angelic voice sounded in the room, you silently sighed, you could at least distract yourself a bit from the pleasure like that. 

Your hopes soon crumbled when his fingers passed from caressing and circling all over your pussy to roughly rubbing your clit. The only thing you could hear in the room was him and your eyes were glued on his magnificent figure, he seemed not a bit affected by what was going on between your legs and you soon found out you were into it, even a bit too much. Your legs started trembling, the pleasure started to build up quickly, your clit was extremely sensitive and Seungmin knew exactly what he was doing. Your heavy breath resounded in the whole room but Seungmin seemed to not mind. 

When your hips started bucking into his hand and your back arched off the couch, he pulled his hand away, he clearly did not want you to cum so quickly. 

He played a second song and the onslaught on your poor sensitive and swollen clit began again. But just how it began it ended, like before.

Seungmin kept teasing you and stimulating you for two more songs, at the fifth, you were gone with pleasure and ready to cry if you didn't cum any second. Your body felt heavy and boneless, his fingers felt too good. But you stayed quiet, you had to stay quiet, you wanted to be a good girl for him. Your date had other plans, you had behaved way too well for his liking. Just when the song was nearing his finish and your orgasm was approaching, Seungmin's fingers roughly pinched your little bundle of nerves.

“Minnie,” you squeaked, with wide eyes. His hand lifted and then roughly came back down. Slap. It stinged but the pain felt so good you could've cum from that alone.

“I told you to stay quiet,” he scoffed, the tablet flew to the other side of the couch and he roughly grabbed your wrist.

“On your knees.”

Your poor wobbly knees hit the ground hard, but you hastily moved to be in front of him.

“Open your mouth.” Seungmin's right hand enveloped your jaw and squeezed effectively squishing your cheeks and forcing you to open up.

“Swallow and then show me.” A thick wad of spit fell into your mouth after that and you moaned, you wanted more but you still closed your mouth and swallowed. When you open up again, Seungmin wasted no time in turning you around and pushing your head down on the coffee table in front of you so your pussy was glued to his crotch. The sound of his belt unbuckling, made your squirm on top of the cool glass. You wanted to see him.

“You better not move or I'll edge you for a week.” Your skirt got quickly flipped up and you felt his head push against your entrance. 

Your lover sheathed himself fully inside you and another song started to play, a love song. Fitting. Without giving you time to adjust he started a brutal pace, not even Han had pounded you this hard. The sound of your skin slapping and the squelch in your pussy resounded in the room, along with your desperate moans and pleas and your date's delicate grunts.

Seungmin's hand circled your hips and pressed against your clit. He resumed his brutal rubbing from before, your orgasm was approaching dangerously quickly. 

“You need to cum, I won't be able to last. This pussy is so slutty, it's sucking me in,” he paired his words with sharp, decise thrusts and you felt the coil in your belly snap. Clear liquid shot out of you and doused Seungmin's crotch. You had never cummed that hard in your entire life. 

Seungmin quickly pulled out of you and stripped his cock above your ass, thick white ropes of cum cascaded on your hot skin in intricate patterns. 

The music had stopped, the only thing heard in the room were both of your heavy breaths.

“I've never made anybody squirt, if I take you out on another date, would you let me do it again?”

@kflixnet

[hotshotsxyz]

7x10 coda. beware the spoilers

Three months pass, and Eddie still isn’t used to it. It’s too quiet at home, and too awful at work, and he still grabs two bowls every morning even though he’s the only one eating.

He thinks about quitting, again. Leaving behind Captain Asshole and following Christopher to Texas. He knows he can’t. He’d promised. Eddie clenches his fists and forces himself to finish buttoning his uniform.

He sends Christopher a text, the same one he sends every morning, then shuts his phone in his locker.

“Line up in five,” Gerrard bellows from the loft. “If you’re late, you’ll be scrubbing the rig with a toothbrush, no exceptions.”

Eddie stands mechanically and walks over to the bay.

Another day, another goddamn reason to bury himself in blankets and hide until the world ends.

Buck invites him over for dinner most nights, or offers to go home with him. Eddie says no more than he says yes, but Buck… Buck’s always known Eddie better than he knows himself. He doesn’t stop asking.

“C’mon Eddie, it’ll be fun—you, me and Tommy, we can come up with ways to drive Gerrard insane.”

Buck looks at him, soft and imploring, an expression Eddie rarely knows how to refuse. But despite everything that’s happened, Buck’s managed to carve out a small sliver of happiness, and Eddie doesn’t want to drag him down.

“You go ahead,” he says. “I’m picking up half a shift at  the 136 tomorrow. Need to get some sleep.”

It’s true and it’s not. He is picking up the shift, but he doubts he’ll sleep.

He goes back to therapy, but he never knows what to say. It was all—everything was in his head, last time. It’s not, now. It’s all real, and it all hurts, and no amount of talking about it makes it hurt any less. He says as much to Frank.

“Then why are you here?” Frank asks.

Eddie looks away. “I don’t know,” he says.

That’s not quite true either.

Kim calls him, and Marisol doesn’t. She leaves voicemail after voicemail, apologizing for that night. Eddie can never bring himself to answer the phone. Eventually, he blocks her number.

He texts his own apology to Marisol, but it never goes through. It’s probably for the best—he doubts the message would’ve made either of them feel better.

Eddie needs—he doesn’t know. Before, he would’ve said time. Now though, he’s got all the time in the world, and he’s desperate to get rid of it.

Buck calls. Eddie can’t answer him, either. He lets it ring out, then listens to the voicemail.

“Hey Eds, it’s me. I uh—just wanted to check in. It’s been a couple days. Call me when you can.”

Eddie tells himself he will, but he has no idea when that’ll be.

Christopher doesn’t text him, but he does text Buck.

Eddie never asks what he says, and Buck usually doesn’t offer to tell him.

“Just—he’s okay, right?”

Buck smiles, a little bit sad, and leans into Eddie’s space. “He’s okay,” he says. “He misses you, even if he’s not ready to tell you that.”

Tears streak down Eddie’s face before he even realizes he’s crying. Buck wipes one away and pulls him against his chest.

“What if he never comes home,” Eddie whispers into the soft material of Buck’s sweater.

“He will,” Buck replies. “He will.”

Good morning, Eddie texts on the one hundred and second day since Christopher left. I love you, and I hope you have a good day.

He drops his phone on the table and tries not to hope for a response. A second later, though, it dings. Eddie’s heart leaps into his throat as he scrambles to open the message.

Morning, Dad.

[flowerxbunnie]

could you do maybe one where chris fucks reader with a ghost face mask. it’s literally my biggest fantasy

Ghostface

Chris x Fem Reader

Warnings: SMUTTY SMUT INSANE SMUT. Knife play (no blood), degrading, mask

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH SMUT OR ARE A MINOR.

scared to post this but here y’all go

Chris POV

“No Y/n I promise it’s not a live animal,” I say into the phone, gaining a laugh from my girlfriend on the other side.

“What the hell kind of surprise could it be then Chris? You know I hate waiting.” she whines and I grin to myself, knowing she doesn’t have a single clue what’s in store for her once she gets back home.

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I ruined a surprise?”

“Ugh, I hate you Christopher Owen.”

“I love you too honeybee, drive safe.” I hang up, sitting my phone beside me on the bed and standing up to get my case of supplies from the closet.

Just as I finish making sure everything is sorted and ready, Y/n steps through the door, and I hear her toss her keys and purse onto the table in the entry way. I meet her in the kitchen, stepping behind her as she rummages through the fridge for a drink.

“Missed you baby, how was Target?” I ask, running my hands up and down her soft arms, placing a kiss into her hair.

“I got a bunch of cute Christmas decorations!” She turns to face me, her eyes lighting up. “I need you to help me put them up soon because in my opinion it’s never to early to start decora-“

I cut her off with a kiss, snaking my hand around her waist and to the small of her back, pulling her against my hips to see if she notices my hard on yet or not.

“Chris, I was getting excited to tell you about what all I got,” she gives me those damn puppy dog eyes that she’s so good at and I almost feel guilty for interrupting her, but I know what I have planned will make up for it.

“We’ll talk all about it later honeybee, come to the room.”

I give her another quick peck before taking her hand and guiding her down the hallway. She takes off her shoes and plops down on the bed, taking notice of the black leather case that she hadn’t seen there when she left.

“What’s this?” She reaches her hand out, fiddling with the latch. I smack her hand, enough to sting, and her eyes shoot up to me laced with confusion and shock.

“Did I tell you to open it, baby?” I ask, a new found confidence taking over me.

“Chris, what’s gotten into you?”

I say nothing. Instead I take a step closer to her and grab her hand, guiding her touch from my bare chest all the way down to the stiffness that’s aching in my jeans. She flashes me the smallest little smirk possible, and I know she thinks that she’s caught on.

“You got me a toy didn’t you??” she bites her lip and lightly squeezes my dick, causing it to throb in her hand.

“Mhm, something like that baby.” I reach around her to grab the case, picking it up running my fingers across the latch.

“You remember your safe word, right honeybee?” I ask, looking into her eyes to make sure I want to go through with this.

“Um, yeah? Why would I need it?” she replies so innocently, confusion creeping back into her face. I take my free hand and caress her face, my thumb rubbing across the soft skin of her bottom lip.

“Undress for me. Then sit down and close your eyes.”

She does as she’s told, removing every article of clothing down to her panties and I decide I’d like her to stop there, already having something in mind. “Leave those on for me.”

She sits down onto the edge of the bed, eyes shut tightly, then I slip on my mask, pushing my hair back to keep it out of my face. I can’t say I didn’t feel a little nervous as I pulled the knife out of the case. I run it along my fingertips, getting a feel for the weight and the pressure.

I slowly and carefully bring the tip of the knife against the soft underside of her chin, running it upwards with a featherlight touch and coaxing her to look up. Her eyes shoot open and I can tell she is shocked at the feeling and sight of a cold blade against her skin, and the sight of me in a ghostface mask looking down at her.

“Don’t move, pretty girl. Wouldn’t want a slip up would we?”

I can see the realization in her eyes, but she still gulps and blinks hard a few times, trying to come up with her next move.

Reader POV

“Got it,” I whisper out, trying my best to not move a muscle.

“Such a good girl, always listening so well for me.”

His voice is muffled from the mask covering his face, it’s honestly turning me on to the point I have to clench my thighs together for some sort of friction. The blade is slowly backed away from my chin, dropping to his side as he undoes the button and zipper on his black jeans with his free hand.

“Now if you really want to show me how good you can listen, lay back and spread your legs.” he tilts his head to the side as he demands me.

“O-okay,” I slowly lay back, keeping my position at the end of the bed and opening my legs for him. I feel his warm fingers tracing the fabric of my red panties gently, hooking behind them and slipping them to the side, exposing my dripping core to him.

“Mm, I really like these,” he says lowly before letting go quickly, causing the fabric to slap against my clit. I can’t help but gasp, the sudden sensation both painful and pleasurable.

I watch as he brings the knife to my knee, running it up my thigh at a snails pace until he reaches my hip. His other hand runs up the opposite thigh, warm and tender compared to the cold of the blade. He slips it under the strap of my panties, and in a swift motion the fabric is cut in two. I gasp knowing in my right mind that this is one of my favorite sets, but I know better than to say anything.

“What’s the matter?” he questions, tilting his head and dragging the knife across my stomach to the opposite strap of my panties.

I shake my head, scared to mutter a word.

I feel a stinging sensation on my hip, him sticking the tip of the knife ever so slightly into my skin. Despite him literally having my life in his hands, I can’t help but grow wetter and wetter with every move he makes.

“I said what’s the matter, baby.” His voice is harsher and the stinging intensifies as he presses the blade in with the smallest amount of extra pressure.

“I l-liked that pair, that’s all,” I admit, hearing a chuckle underneath the mask.

Before I can process what has happened, he cuts the second strap and pulls my panties off of me, stuffing them into his pocket.

“I don’t think you’ll miss them too much, sweetheart.”

This has me dripping, seeing the red lace peeking out of his pocket as he drops to his knees, gaze locked between my legs.

“Such a pretty little pussy.” he whispers, hand on my left thigh to ensure they stay apart.

He shocks me by taking the flat side of the knife and slapping it against my pussy. I can’t help but whimper in shock and pleasure, this being the first time I’ve been touched where I need it most. He doesn’t say a word and repeats his action, slapping it harder against me this time. And then a third.

“F-fuck,” I moan out, throwing my head back onto the bed.

I feel something else rubbing against me- not warm and not cold. I lift my head back up to see him running the handle of the knife up and down against my clit. I buck my hips in response, needing the pressure and stimulation. His free hand grasps onto my hip, pushing me into the bed and preventing me from moving. He turns the knife back around to the flat side and slaps my wet core again, shaking his head. I cry out in pleasure, biting my lip after to try and stifle my own sounds, feeling myself begin to drip.

“Is somebody enjoying themselves? You’re making such a mess sweetheart.” He brings the knife in front of his face, inspecting it and running his finger along the edge, my wet juices all over the blade.

He stands up and climbs on top of me, hovering in a straddle position but not putting his weight on me. I watch as he runs the knife up my stomach, between the valley of my breasts and feel it inch up my throat before stopping in front of my lips. His free hand connects to my throat.

“Be a good girl and clean it for me, hm?”

My breath hitches as I open my mouth and stick out my tongue, running it gingerly along the edge of the blade, moving to collect everything else from the flat side as I’m throbbing with need, a complete mess underneath of him.

“I have your life in my hands, sweetheart, you know that right?”

I whimper and nod, knowing and trusting fully that Chris would never ever actually hurt me. He stands up to remove his jeans and boxers, his erection slapping against his happy trail and a drop of precum leaking onto his abdomen. He leans down to grip my hair, pulling me into a sitting position and holding the knife against my throat.

“Take it all.”

I lick the precum off his happy trail, then move my tongue down to swirl around his swollen head. His grip in my hair tightens and my air is cut off a bit as the knife is pressed harder into my skin.

“I said fucking take it all.”

I look up into the eyes of the mask as I oblige, not hesitating as I take his entire length into my mouth, sucking and coating him. His sounds are still muffled but I hear him begin to breathe heavy under the mask.

He uses the hand that’s wrapped into my hair to pull my head closer, his dick going into my throat causing me to gag and drool, but he doesn’t stop. He’s pumping in and out while tears are dripping from my eyes and saliva is running down my chin. I feel his dick begin to pulse, but he takes his hand from my hair, releasing his grip and allowing me to come up for breath.

“Look at that pathetic face, so pretty. Doing so good for me.” he says, running two fingers along my chin, collecting my own saliva and shoving his fingers into my mouth to clean them. They pull out with a popping sound and he pushes me back onto the bed, raising one of my legs over his shoulder. He begins teasing my folds with his head, slowly running it up and down eliciting pathetic sounding moans from me, just aching for him to be inside of me.

“Listen at you, sweetheart. You’re just so desperate for more aren’t you?”

“P-please. Please I need it.” I whimper out, the tip of the knife poking into the thigh he has propped on his shoulder.

He groans and slaps my entrance with his dick before he harshly pushes into me, taking no time to let me adjust.

His thrusts are deep and fast, the sounds of his hip colliding with the skin of my thigh echoing in the room. He throws his head back in pleasure, his free hand coming down to press onto my stomach, feeling a bulge and I realize he’s feeling himself deep inside through my skin. The sensation sends a shockwave of pleasure through my body causing me to whine and clench around him.

“Such a tight little pussy, so perfect for me.” He groans, looking back down at me as my mouth hangs open involuntarily. He removes the blade from my thigh, turning it around and shoving the handle of the knife into my mouth.

“You needed something to fill that pretty mouth, didn’t you?” he growls, moving it in and out at same the pace as his thrusts.

I whimper and whine, feeling the vibrations on the handle of the knife in my mouth. My stomach tightens and I feel my high approaching, and he takes notice. His hand quickly finds its way to my core, his thumb pressing into my clit and kneading it.

“I just wanna ruin you, sweetheart. Let go for me, come on,” he beckons, his pace picking up and his thumb pressing harder into my bundle of nerves. This sends me over the edge and I start to fall apart around him, arching my back up with the knife handle still in my mouth, muffling my cries of pleasure.

He groans lowly and I feel him pulsing before I feel a warm release inside of me, his own orgasm taking over as his head falls back. We go over the edge together, sweating and panting and dizzy.

He pulls the handle out of my mouth, tossing it to a safe spot before ripping the mask off.

“Fuck, y/n. So fucking good.” he pulls himself out of me, hissing at the sensitivity and brushes his sweaty hair out of his eyes. He’s glistening and dripping with sweat. I’m silent as I try to regain my composure, light headed from my intense orgasm.

“Honeybee are you okay?” his voice softens with worry, coming down to lay beside me and turn my face to his. I meet his gaze, his blue eyes watching me so sweetly and give him a soft smile, hardly able to hold my own eyes open.

“More than okay, Chrissy. Just tired.” His lips meet mine in a sweet kiss.

“Let’s go get cleaned up and then we’ll put out all your new decorations, sound good?”

[uhhsoph]

Class of ‘21

—————————————

-pairing: softdom!chris & sub!reader

-warnings: unprotected p in v (don’t do that guys) kissing, making out, fingering, public sex, praising, use of y/n (very brief)

-a/n- this is probably so bad but I rushed heavy I’m insanely tired goodnight lovies 🤍

Of all of the places I thought I’d be tonight, I didn’t think I’d be here. I’ve shitted on everything and anything that had to do with my high school years. Yet, here I was standing in the middle of the same nasty, mold infested, gymnasium I was 3 some years ago.

I decided to come to my reunion because I had nothing else to do. Was it the best thing I could’ve done with my time? Maybe not, but I guess it was cool to see how everyone changed and grew into themselves. Sure, I missed high school sometimes but high school was shit mostly. I mostly kept to myself and a few friends I’d kept from middle school. I was focused on my self and my future, and I’m proud of who I’ve become. Back then, I wish I could tell myself it’d be worth it, because it was.

I walked around to see if any of my old friends have decided to show up too. I kept walking until I felt a light, gentle, tap on my shoulder. I turn around and get met with the eyes of my friend, Nessa.

“Where have you been all night? I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“I’ve just been here, you must’ve not looked hard enough.” I speak with a smile. The air in the gym getting more stuffy and unbearable by the second, the stuffiness due to it being stuffed to the brim with most of the class of 2021.

“I swear I’ve swept the place looking for you. But at least I found you, because guess who’s here.” She smirks slightly, a mock pang of flirt laced in her voice. Guessing was absolutely never my thing.

“I don’t know, enlighten me.” I chuckle.

“Come on, not even a small guess?” She fake pouts. I take a few seconds to rake my brain of who, or maybe what, she could possibly be so excited about.

“Ness, I don’t know. Kaylee from bio?” I furrow my eyebrows as I made a guess. A small one, but still a guess.

“You’re no fun! Christopher Sturniolos here.” She says with excitement, somewhat evident in her voice. Chris was my long time crush all throughout high school, no shot he even knew who I was. We’ve interacted maybe once, we had classes together but what’s that in a building full of girls? Chris was popular, everyone liked him. I wasn’t special for feeling the same way, I knew that.

“Respectfully Ness, what am I supposed to do with that? Everyone’s probably swarming over him asking about his life after high school.” I laugh.

“Respectfully, you’re so hot now. I bet if you tried talking to him, you’d be his first priority.” She grins at me, fanning herself dramatically.

“You’re on some crazy shit.” I retort with a small chuckle before continuing. “I’m going to grab a drink. You want one?” I ask.

“I’m okay, but hey. While you’re gone, try and get a peak at Chris. See if he’s still as amazing as you thought he was.” I roll my eyes playfully as I start walking to the drinks table.

I push past the crowds of people catching up, crying, hell, going through the 5 stages of grief over reuniting with their old friends. I see the table straight through a few people, I walk behind them swiftly, seeing Chris with a group. I take a quick glance at him, which he returns, but nonetheless I keep walking to the table. He’s definitely still what he used to be, hot as shit.

I approach the table, somewhat distracted by everything that’s happening around me. Well, except one thing. Before I can react, I see this girl attempting to launch a solo cup of fruit punch at this guy. The guy obviously notices before me as he moves out of the way, the fruit punch obliviously landing on me, seeping deeper into the soft fabric faster by the second. I look down at my light colored dress, now stained red wondering how the fuck I’m going to get this out.

I glance around, thankfully not many people were paying attention to the whole scene. The girl angrily muttering apologies as she grabs the guy by his wrist, dragging him out of the gym and outside, probably to scream more curses at him. I cuss silently to myself as I make my way to the bathroom to try and clean this up. I feel someone lightly grab my shoulder. I turn around to meet the eyes of, none the other, Chris. My face softens ever so slightly as I meet his captivating eyes, forgetting the reason why I was mad for a second.

“Hey, I saw what happened are you… good?” He asks. I let out a breathy chuckle as I peer down at my dress again.

“I mean… not really. I don’t know how I’m gonna get this stain out.” I say as casually as I can. I can’t take another embarrassment tonight.

“Here, I can help you? I don’t know much I can but I’ll try.” He laughs. I chuckle and nod as I let him led me to an empty classroom, which happened to be the math class, the class I shared with him in senior year, something I doubt he’d remember. He pats the table in front of the sink for me to sit on and looks under the cabinet for some paper towels. He rummages under carelessly until he finds some. He dampens the paper towel as he gently dabs it onto my dress, applying slight pressure to soak up the red liquid on the soft fabric.

“This place looks the same, doesn’t it?” He questions, keeping his focus on trying to get the stain out.

“Hm?” I question, confused, he can’t be talking about what I think he’s talking about.

“This is one of the classes I had with you, right?” He pauses for a second and looks up at my face, giving me his full and complete attention. My face slowly breaks into a grin.

“Yeah, it is. Honestly, I’m surprised you even know who I am.” I admit honestly with a slight laugh.

“How couldn’t I?.” He chuckles as he continues back to wiping gently at my dress. I shake my head and chuckle slightly.

“What do you mean?.” I ask, a smile on my face as I furrow my eyebrows.

“I-I don’t know, let’s just forget about it.” He shook it off, basically mentally face palming himself as if he said something wrong. We sit in somewhat comfortable silence as I keep looking at Chris, he seems to be contemplating something in his head before he talks again.

“Y/n?” He questions, stilling his movements and looking up at me

“Hm?” I look at him too.

“I’ve always thought you were pretty. Even since, like, freshman year. And you still are, which is why I’m kinda terrified to say the wrong things. I always have it’s just, now we aren’t even in Highschool and I know I shouldn’t even be telling you, kinda stupid right?” He confesses, looking basically anywhere but my eyes.

I sit dumbfounded. After a few seconds, I smile. He was so genuine and I don’t think I’ve seen him, let alone anyone that, vulnerable with me for awhile. “I’ve always liked you too, I just… never thought you’d notice me”I whisper back, trying to open up about it to him.

“I noticed. I definitely noticed.” He whispers as he finally meets my eyes. I look back, not being able to look away.

He stands all the way up, towering over me sitting on the table, moving his face closer to mine. He stays there, probably waiting for me to make a move to completely connect our lips. I look into his blue eyes, before grabbing his jaw and connecting my lips with his, something I’ve wanted since freshman year. He immediately reciprocates, wrapping his arms around my body. I move my arms to rest behind his neck, deepening the kiss. He gently bites my bottom lip to gain entry, which I allow embarrassingly quick. His tongue explores every inch of my mouth, pulling away for a quick second.

“Jump.” He says, gripping my ass, keeping his face close to mine. I do as he says and allow myself to wrap my legs around his waist.

He places his hands under my thighs and then he throws his lips back onto mine. He spins me around and pins me to the counter, the kiss growing more desperate every second. He sets me down on the counter, leaning me up against the back wall. His hands roaming my body as I do the same. Touching every inch I possibly could, as if he’d vanish any second. I capture all his breaths and pants into my mouth as he does the same with mine. He starts to move his hands towards the top of my thighs, rubbing circles with his thumb on the bare skin. I grab his collar and pull him impossibly close, his tongue growing faster against mine. I reach my hand down to his belt and run my hands over it. He quickly pulls away and takes his belt off.

“You wanna do this?” He asks, looking at me breathlessly.

“Fuck Chris, yeah.” I pant. To that, he groans and hooks his hands under my thighs, pulling my body into his. His bulge pressing on me was enough for me to snap into a billion pieces. He looks down at silently curses when he realizes I’m not wearing underwear.

“Such a good fucking girl..” He leans down and collects the wetness that’s accumulated around my thighs.

“Shit Chris.” I throw my head back as his hand reaches my clit, rubbing firm circles on the small bundle of nerves. I moan out as his circles get faster.

“Shhh, angel, you don’t want the whole school to hear how good I’m making you feel do you?” He smirks lightly as he runs his thumb along my bottom lip, pulling it down to push his thumb in my mouth. I close my lips around it as my eyes roll back into my head. He moves his fingers lower and pushes them inside of my pussy. The familiar feeling in my stomach threatening to snap every second he continues.

“You’re so fucking pretty.” Chris praises as his eyes move from my face to my pussy rapidly. I whine as my back arches into him.

“I-I’m gonna cum.. fuck chris! Oh my god” I moan as my fingers lace behind his neck, tangling themselves in his hair.

“Come on baby, cum on my fingers.” Chris replies as he’s focusing on my face, licking his lips. I try my best to focus on his face as I feel my first orgasm of the night crash over me, almost to fully convince my mind he’s still here, or here in the first place.

“Perfect, fuck..” He smirks before shoving his fingers in his mouth, sucking the juices off slowly. Which was almost enough to make me cum again right there.

“I need you.” I say out in desperation.

“Yeah?” He raises his eyebrows as he starts to unbuckle his pants. I nod embarrassingly fast. He grips my ass and picks me up again, spinning me around and pinning me on the table that was once behind him. He then maneuvers his cock out of his boxers, pre cum leaking over the tip, which is bright pink and begging for attention. My mouth waters at the sight of him.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to see you like this.” He whispers, his voice gravelly as he moves his dick up and down my folds.

“No teasing.. fuck.” I throw my head back in anticipation, excitement bubbling in my stomach.

“Tell me how much you want it.” He challenges, breathlessly, almost trying to delay himself so this moment lasts longer.

“S’bad.. so so bad please.” I practically beg. He starts to slowly inch himself inside of me, groaning the deeper he gets.

“Mm, you’re so tight.” He practically whines as he throws his head back, starting to slowly thrust himself.

“Faster chris.” I moan, repeating his name over and over again. His thrusts getting faster, the moans and pants between us both is all we can comprehend.

“Fuck.. you’re so so good for me, angel.” He leans down starts kissing my jaw slowly. I place one of my hands on the back of his neck, and the other one wrapped around his back. He starts running his hands up and down my body. I arch off the table, whining as my second orgasm rapidly approaches.

“I-Im so close.. oh oh my god!” I moan out.

“Shit, me too.” He replies, his thrusts getting sloppier as I start clenching around him, cumming on his dick.

“I’m gonna cum… where do you want it?” He asks quickly.

“Anywhere”

He quickly pulls out as cum paints my stomach where my dress hitched up, as he curses under his breath. He leans down and captures my lips in his again. We sit there, our lips enveloping each others… that’s until we hear a swift knock on the door.

“Hey, what are you guys doing in there?”

~

[sortasirius]

I put myself through the shooting again to see what I missed and here's what I came out with (IT'S A LOT):

Jesus Christ the way Eddie looks at Buck immediately

That shot of them just staring at each other before Eddie falls

The way Buck just stands there, completely frozen, doesn't even try to protect himself

HE ABSOLUTELY DOES REACH FOR HIM. HE REACHES FOR BUCK BEFORE HE PASSES OUT

Buck crawling to him and saying "Stay down, I'm gonna come, I got you."

"Hey just...just stay with me, okay?"

Eddie's first and only question is "are you hurt?" to Buck...brothers I am in shambles

Buck like actively cupping Eddie's face and saying "I need you to hang on."

The way Buck almost like collapses when a firefighter bumps into him...

Also INSANE that his first thought on seeing Taylor is "no comment" YIKES!!!

God Oliver Stark...I am in awe of you always

You can tell Buck is trying SO HARD to keep it together for Chris. Like he doesn't want to make things harder on him but it's like everything hits him all at once and he just can't keep it in because telling Chris makes it real. And makes him think that he should have been the one that got shot

"He's a fighter" while wiping away his tears...oh my love

Him breaking down is a relief cry, he drops his phone and just collapses in on himself out of relief

"It's gonna be okay, Buck." I just...love Chris and Buck so much. I love them so so much.

All the tubes sticking out of Eddie I'm sick to my stomach

And Buck takes such effortlessly good care of Christopher, of course Eddie would make him his guardian

"Buck snores...loud." Chris my king

"I'm fine. I'm not the one who got shot." Well it's clear you wish you were babe and that freaks me out!!

It's so interesting the way the rest of the crew doesn't even seem to...clock that Buck isn't just being reckless. Like he's actively trying to die. Daring the sniper to take him out

The fact that Taylor just leaves, playing into every insecurity he has but he doesn't even TRY to fight her leaving when he sees Ana calling...I have nothing to say to this it writes itself

"He doing okay?" "Better than me." BYE!!!

When Buck says it would have been better if he had gotten shot you can tell Eddie is like...stunned at what he said, but he IS recovering from a, oh that's right, major gunshot wound, so it's not like he can say anything about it.

Okay sorry the comparison between Buck telling Eddie "I'm here. I got you." and Athena telling Bobby THE SAME THING after he got shot???????

"Because Evan." I think it's the only time I've heard Eddie use his given name. It means something when he does. In this case "you aren't disposable you bonehead. Not to Chris. Not to me."

Genuinely insane experience. 10/10 would recommend

[littlespoonevan]

I watched the first three seasons of 911 back when that was all that had aired and just didn’t keep watching after the break between seasons for whatever reason. I also didn’t really get buddie, I just thought it was a beautiful friendship. I’m now on a rewatch and just got to the end of season 4 and boy am I all in, Buck’s reaction to Eddie getting shot and the aftermath really made me get it. Anyway, I was wondering if you have any fic recs for a buddie newbie? I’m probably gonna speed through the rest of the show in a few days and need something else to occupy me hahah

hey bud, welcome back to the world of 911!! 🥰 okay so i have some previous fic recs that i've posted here and i also have 489 bookmarks on ao3 which you can have a scroll through here (i only ever bookmark something for rereading or reccing purposes so can confirm i've read and loved them all)

but i'll do my best to make a somewhat cohesive list below of some of my personal faves. i have no doubt i'll probably leave some out accidentally but they'll definitely be in my bookmarks so 100% check those out too!! ❤️

The Nearness of You by allisonRW96 / @homerforsure

Eddie reassured himself that he could do this. Other teams coming in were probably going to be staying at the same hotel in the same double rooms and it was very possible that none of them were going to be having sex. Or even lying awake at night thinking about it. Or: Buck and Eddie go on a work trip.

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania / @hmslusitania

“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says. “Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says. “I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies. “Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.” -- An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels /@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak: Marry Buck.

standing on the brink of emptiness by woodchoc_magnum / @woodchoc-magnum

In which Eddie is struggling in the aftermath of being shot, learning how to take care of himself and realising he's in love with Buck; and Buck is dating Taylor, taking care of Eddie and Christopher and trying to figure out why he's so goddamn confused about everything.

across our great divide (a glorious sunrise) by catchingpapermoons 

“We’re working on it,” Maddie explains, shooting Chimney a look. He nods seriously. “In couples therapy.” “Huh,” Eddie says, and then he thinks about it. "Do you think Buck and I would benefit from couples therapy?" — or, Eddie gets Buck to come to couples therapy with him.

darling, the future's better than yesterday by rarakiplin (gmontys)

Eddie, ten years younger, in this awful 2010, blinks up at him. He's still sitting slumped on the curb, and for a second Buck thinks he might tell him to fuck off, but then his eyes fall shut and there’s something — aching and painfully vulnerable in the bend of his mouth, the faint tension in his brow. “My…um, girlfriend, I guess. She’s pregnant.” “Holy shit,” Buck says. - or, buck deals with some wonky dimensional/time travel and then breaks up with his girlfriend. eddie, obviously, is involved.

i'm here (i’m yours for the taking) by farfromthstars / @buckactuallys

“Everyone!” Around forty heads turn, and Buck shifts on his feet uncomfortably at the attention. “This is my old friend Buck and his husband, Eddie.” “Uh,” Buck makes, turning to Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie's looking just as stunned. “Connor, I think you got–” He cuts himself off when Eddie wraps an arm around his waist. ~ at the winter wedding of an old friend, buck and eddie pretend to be married to each other. the plan has no weaknesses, obviously, not even mistletoe or anyone’s secret feelings… they call it the season of giving i'm here, i'm yours for the taking

Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

In 1880, Evan Buckley of the arriviste set is sent out west to oversee his family's railroad and recover from a broken heart - and meets Eddie Diaz, cowboy. When fate tears them apart, they make a promise: find each other again. In 2018, Buck walks into his fire station in Los Angeles - and meets Eddie Diaz, new recruit.

no kingdom to come by waywardrenegades

Family, FaceTime, guilt trips, phone calls, church, heart healthy meals, and learning how to let yourself be happy. Whatever that looks like. or; when his father experiences a health scare, Eddie flies to El Paso.

when i was shipwrecked (i thought of you) by catchingpapermoons 

Buck walks toward Jee-Yun’s room, still talking, and Christopher trails after him, asking excited questions in response, and Eddie’s smile grows. He wants this forever. Everything, every part of it; Buck, Christopher, and him—that’s all he needs. And— Oh. Oh no. He shuts his eyes for a moment, inhaling sharply. He’s looking at Buck, and feeling something strictly not platonic at all. or: Eddie needs to learn how to let himself feel, and one step at a time, he learns how to do just that. (And he falls in love with Buck along the way.)

i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove / @hattalove

She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

everything's coming up milhouse by hammersmiths / @bucktommys

LAFD Updates (@L*A*F*D_Metro) LAFD Alert: Red-level traffic on Gardiner Road this morning. If you are trying to get into the city centre consider taking Westerley Lane. buck 🔥🔥 (@firebuck) so true bestie or, Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.

said i couldn't stay, but it's different now by hattalove

“I think,” he says, watching Karen pull Hen out onto the dance floor, their eyes never leaving each other’s, “I think I’m just—sad.” Maybe. That feels like a close enough word to describe this gaping maw right in the center of his chest. It’s only really there sometimes, taking little bites out of him, easy enough to ignore, but today is worse. “About being single at a wedding,” Eddie says, not a question. Buck shrugs. “Sounds stupid when you put it that way.” or, the one with the four weddings (feat. a drunk karen wilson, shania twain, a single cheerio, and some confessions over cubed fruit).

cause i'm tired of sleeping alone by rarakiplin (gmontys)

Buck goes on dates now. Not often, and never with the same girl twice in a row, but he goes on dates. And the thing is — the thing is, Eddie can’t be mad about that, because he goes on dates too. - or, five (ish) times eddie and buck go on dates with other people, and one time they go on a date with each other

so far from being free by allisonRW96

"That’s Daniel. He was our brother. Buck doesn’t know what to do with the past tense. He never had a brother. He’s always had a brother. He gained one and lost one in the same breath and it feels impossible. But even if Buck was capable of doubting Maddie, the truth of her confession is evident in the way it throws every facet of his childhood into sudden perfect clarity. That yawning, arctic absence. The unnamable fear. The impenetrable target of his parents’ approval that he was never, ever going to be able to hit. That they didn’t want him to hit. He has a brother. A dead brother who has haunted Buck’s steps for his entire life."

don't let the tide come and wash us away by writerforlife

Buck develops a relationship with the ocean, avoids talking about the day Eddie was shot, realizes he might be in love, and drives. Order may vary. (a fic for the "Buck is going to break all the way down in season 6" truthers)

dance, for all that we've been through by catchingpapermoons 

The Los Angeles Ballet’s 2022-2023 season ends with a bang with their fresh take on a ballet staple, Swan Lake. Artistic Director Bobby Nash is in his eighth season with the Los Angeles Ballet, and it has flourished under his direction. However, his associate, Eddie Diaz, is the one whose reimagining of the choreography has caught our attention... (or, Eddie Diaz moves to L.A. to restart his dance career, and ends up choreographing a show, finding a family, and falling in love. Not necessarily in that order.)

I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other. When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other.

never felt this way before (yes i swear) by withoutthetiger

It’s the summer of 2022, when Buck no longer wants to be called Evan, and it only occurs to his parents to mind. It’s after the pandemic – or so they say – and before whatever hell will befall the world next, when Buck can’t wait to join the LAFD in September, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever meet someone as gently strong and fiercely protective as his big sister. It’s the summer he goes with his family to the One Eighteen Ranch & Lodge. *** A Dirty Dancing AU, set in Texas in 2022, featuring a whole lot of familiar faces in a not so familiar place.

Fragile lines (and wasted time) by Mellaithwen / @mellaithwen

“Hey Buck,” Christopher says a little shyly, before reaching out to grab Buck’s foot through the hospital blankets—shaking it in the same way he’s woken his father up on many a bleary-eyed morning. The familiarity of the gesture makes Eddie’s head spin. But of course, there’s no response from the comatose man on the bed. “I thought you said he was sleeping,” Chris mumbles, angrily swiping at his cheeks, and Eddie’s already broken heart shatters all over again for whatever hope his son had just lost when his expectations were so cruelly dashed. . While Buck sleeps, and dreams in the aftermath of the lightning strike, Eddie tries desperately to hold himself together.

Don't Take the Money by HMSLusitania

“You know, being stuck here isn’t actually the end of the world,” Chimney says, coming up to the table and picking up one of the smoke detectors. “It just feels like it, Buck. Trust me, I know.” “I’m pretty sure it might actually be the end of the world,” Buck says. “Considering this is the sixth time I’ve lived this day.” Chimney stares at him for a beat and then his eyebrows lift. “Wait, are you like – dude, are you in Groundhog Day?” OR The post-lawsuit time-loop AU literally no one asked for.

keep your eyes on the road by iriswests / @fcntasmas

Buck used to speed through yellow lights; now they’re his favorite part of the drive. -- or; a glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston

The ghost would prefer to go by Buck, if Eddie wouldn’t mind. +++ [Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

as lucky as us by hammersmiths

One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier. “I mean, I get it,” Buck’s saying, overhead, and Ravi’s knee-deep in literal human crap and even he can smell that shit from a mile away. “You and Tommy have a lot in common.” or, Ravi continually suffers as a third-wheel.

[ev3rgreenxtrees]

,,Heartbeat''- C.S.

Warnings- smut, cussing, suggestive content.

SUB CHRIS SUB CHRIS SUB CHRISSS!!!!!

Back to masterlist

-

,,Text say that 'it's not fair'

thats code for 'he's not here'

and ima flirt with this new girl

and ima call if it dont work.''

-

Evelyn heard a ding from her phone, indicating that she had gotten a text from someone. She hadn't moved from her bed today, not really having a reason to. She lifted her phone, and let out a sigh as she saw 'Chris has texted you.' fuck.

Evelyn has been 'friends' with the triplets for years now. She's always been closest with Matt, oddly enough. Around two years into their friendship, Chris and Evelyn had began 'hooking up' in Chris' words. She couldn't stand him. She couldn't stand it. She was going insane.

No matter what she was doing, if Chris wanted to fuck, she had to drop whatever she was doing, however important, just to give him what he wanted. But god forbid if Evelyn ever wanted anything in return. If she texted him, she wouldn't get a reply for days.

She met a boy, Jake, and they started dating. Unlike Chris, Jake didn't just use her for sex. He really loved her. She loved him too. She cut contact with Chris, told him to stop texting her, and she wouldn't go to the triplets house, she'd meet them elsewhere. She didn't want to see him. She had been dating Jake for around four months now. Sure, sex was great with Jake.. but he wasn't Chris.

Jake has taken a trip with his friends to a different state for a week, and this was day two of him being gone. Evelyn clicked on the notification, and sighed at the message.

fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK. What was she doing?? It's okay..right? Jake won't know. No- she can't hurt him like that. Once Chris gets there she can just tell him to fuck off.. right?

She must've been thinking about it for a few minutes because she was suddenly snapped back to reality when she heard a knock at her door. Holy shit. This is really happening.

Without even thinking, Evelyn starts walking down the stairs. Even though it was nearly 8:00 P.M. she had still been in her pj's from the morning before. Just some shorts and a baggy tee. She opened the door to reveal Chris standing outside, in just grey sweats and a black tank top that stuck to his body perfectly, looking at his phone.

Evelyn had forgotten how good Chris looked, so she just stared in awe. His eyes looked up from the phone, his head not moving, as he chuckled. His eyes looking up at her through his messy hair just did something to her every time.

,,Miss me?'' He teased, sliding his phone into his pocket. ,,Soo.. you gonna invite me in or re we just gonna do this outside..?'' He laughed, as she kept a straight face. He noticed, and stuck his hand out and placed it gently on her jaw. ,,Hey, Ev, Whats wrong, baby?'' He asked her, as she pulled away from his touch.

,,Don't call me that, Christopher.'' She frowned, causing Chris to furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

,,What..? What's wrong, Evvy?'' He asked as she cringed at the name. He's the only person who calls her that. She felt tears threatening to spill, as she held them back.

,,Chris.. we can't.'' She shook her head, looking down at the floor. She felt Chris' hand meet her jaw, pulling her face up to his, as he kissed her gently.

She knew she should've pulled away, but she couldn't. She kissed back, as she felt Chris smirk against her lips. He slowly pulled away,

,,You sure?'' He joked, and she shook her head and pulled him into her house by his collar, slamming the door behind them.

''God, I hate you so fucking much, Christopher..'' She scoffed.

,,Oh, but you love me..'' He smirked, before quickly grabbing Evelyn's hips, bringing her closer to him, before smashing his lips roughly against hers, the kiss this time was the complete opposite of the one they had just shared moments before. She pulled away, her hand sliding into his, as she pulled him up to her room.

,,Ya know, I could've just fucked ya down there,'' He joked,

,,Yeah, and smash my hips into the counter? I'll stick with my bed.'' She rolled her eyes, before getting on her knees.

,,Damn- sucking me off already? Thought you'd wait a bit you whore.'' Chris smirked down at her,

,,Watch your mouth, Christopher.'' She threatened, as she suddenly grabbed his half-hard cock through his pants.

,,o-oh fuck..'' He groaned, caught off guard by the girls sudden action.

,,let me hear you, baby..'' Evelyn smirked at the boy above her. Out of all the times they had fucked, she hadn't been the dominant one, but that was about to change.

,,c'mon, ma.. please..'' He whispered, his voice raspy as Evelyn began to palm him through his pants. ,,please..'' he whimpered. She slid her hands away from his cock, before kissing it through the fabric of his pants. She started to pull them and his boxers down, his now fully hard cock slapping against his clothed stomach.

He began to slip his shirt off, before she slapped his hands.

,,Did I say you could take this off?'' She growled at him, before he shook his head,

,,f-fuck.. 'm sorry ma.. p-please..'' he begged. She has never seen Chris this submissive, and it was driving her insane.

,,Go ahead, baby..'' Evelyn nodded, as she started to stroke his cock painfully slow. He ripped his shirt off and through it across the room, as he let out small whimpers. ,,sit.'' She motioned to the bed, and he quickly complied, shuffling to the bed, and sitting down.

Evelyn placed her hands on his knees, and licked from his base to his tip, collecting his precum on his cock. The small whimpers and moans falling effortlessly from Chris' mouth was what kept her going. She took his dick in her mouth, it hitting the back of her throat as she gagged, but she didn't stop.

Nothing would stop her from doing this besides Chris. Not even her boyfriend walking in would stop her. She's missed Chris so much. She felt his hand grip her hair, pushing her down and up, her mouth gliding around him.

,,mmhh.. fuckk..'' he cried out, his head falling back. She quickly pulled off of him with a popping sound, knowing he was close, ,,ma.. p-pleas-e..'' he hiccuped.

,,don't worry, baby. You'll cum soon.'' She promised. pushing him back against the bed, her mouth connecting once more with his.

He laid back, his hard dick throbbing. Evelyn- still fully clothed- sat on Chris' lap, just a little above where his dick was.

,,Ev- please..'' he pleaded, as he pulled away from the kiss, slipping his hands up her shirt, tugging at the hem.

,,Go ahead, baby.'' she nodded, giving him permission to slip it off, which he quickly did. Her black bra showcasing her breasts perfectly made Chris want her impossibly more.

,,Fuck, baby. I don't remember you looking like that..'' He groaned, his hands sliding back down her body to the waistband of her shorts. He tugged gently at them, before Evelyn lifted her hips, allowing Chris enough room to slip them off. Evelyn sat on the naked boy, in only her bra and underwear.

Chris let his hand slip to her panties, gently rubbing her slick folds through the wet fabric. She let out a small whine, causing Chris to chuckle.

,,You like that, don't you, ma?'' He teased, causing the girl on top of him to shake her head,

,,Know your place, Christopher.'' She grow;ed, causing him to immediately apologize,

,,s-sorry ma..'' he whined, his hands meeting her hips. ,,Jus wanna make y-you feel good..'' he pushed her hips down, causing her to grind on him.

,,Holy shit, baby..'' She gasped. She needed Chris so incredibly bad.

,,I-I wanna taste you, ma.. p-please..'' He begged, as Evelyn nodded. He sat up, his lips meeting her neck, sucking and biting, leaving deep red and purple marks behind. His lips trailed down her neck as his hands fumbled with the clasp of her bra.

As he slipped her bra off, his lips met her one of her nipples, his hand toying with the other. She let out a quiet moan, as her hands snaked up and down Chris' bare back. His mouth left her nipple, continuing to place kisses down her body.

He got to the waistband of her panties and sighed, before laying her back, his face between her thighs. She felt his hot breath on her core before feeling him place a soft kiss on her clit through the thin wet fabric of her panties.

,,So wet for me, ma..'' Chris mumbled, before pulling her panties off slowly.

,,Chris, don't tease me,'' Evelyn warned him, as he nodded.

,,Sorry mommy..'' he apologized, the name making her shiver. his mouth came into contact with her pussy, flattening his tongue, lapping it up and down between her wet folds.

''mmph, fuck, Chris.. making me feel so good..'' She whined, her hands quickly finding his hair, before gripping it tightly. His tongue met her clit, as he brought two of his fingers up to her mouth for her to suck.

She rolled her eyes but obliged, sticking his fingers into her mouth, coating them in her saliva. He pulled them out after they were soaked, and brought them down by where his mouth was. Evelyn forgot how hot he looked while he was eating her out, it was driving her insane. He slowly pushed one finger inside her, her letting out a quick moan, her head falling backwards.

,,H-holy shit..'' She moaned as Chris stuck another finger in her, continuing to pump inside her.

,,You taste so good, mommy..'' Chris mumbled, momentarily pulling his mouth away from her cunt. He quickly went back to work, and Evelyn was becoming a whining mess as he added a third finger.

,,Mhh, fuck- Chris.. I-I'm close-'' She struggled, as she felt her release inching closer. Her grip on his hair tightened, as her eyes squeezed shut, as she felt the knot in her lower stomach snap. Chris didn’t stop working his tongue, he continued to lick up all her cum.

His head lifted, and she quickly pulled him into a kiss, her legs shaking. She could taste herself on his tongue, but she didn’t care at all. She needed Chris so bad.

She pulled his body impossibly closer to her, his dick rubbing against her folds, causing both of them to let out a moan.

,,Fuck me already, Chris,'' Evelyn demanded. Who was Chris to deny her wishes? He pulled his dick in his hand, stroking it a few times, before lining it up with her hole.

He started to push in, and once the tip was in, he let his own dick go, to put both of his hands above Evelyn's shoulders to stabilize himself. They both let out groans as Chris continued to push himself deeper in her. He finally pushed all the way and waited a bit before starting to slowly thrust in and out of her.

,,Wait- shit Ev, your on the pill, right?'' Chris stopped and looked up at her, causing her to chuckle and nod,

,,yes, Chris.'' she rolled her eyes, and Chris started to thrust in and out of her again, this time at a much faster pace.

,,Mph- Fuck.. y-your so tight ma..'' Chris groaned, as Evelyn gripped his shoulders tightly.

,,d-don't stop, Chris..'' Evelyn pleaded, and Chris obliged. The male continued to thrust into her, both of them letting loud moans flow out of their mouths effortlessly.

,,M-mommy, I-I'm close..'' Chris panted, one of his hands making its way to Evelyn's hips, holding her in place. His grip was so tight, she was sure it would leave bruises, but that was the least of her worries right now.

,,Cum for me, baby.'' Evelyn moaned, and Chris did just that. He released his load into her, and she did the same.

,,H-holy shit..'' Chris groaned, as he pulled out of her and plopped down beside her on the bed. ,,You still regret it?'' Chris whispered.

,,Hm?'' Evelyn mumbled.

,,Do..'' Chris sighed. He propped himself up on his arm, looking into Evelyn's eyes. ,,Do you like me? Do you regret what we just did? Would you pick him over me?'' Chris asked, and Evelyn's eyebrows furrowed.

,,Of course i like you Chris. I wouldn't let you fuck me if I didn't like you. If I'm being honest.. i really like you. Like, a lot. I do this with you because I think it's the most I'm going to get from you. I know you won't date me, but i really fuckin like you, so I do whatever you want me to as long as it means I can have you.'' Evelyn sighed, closing her eyes, Expecting Chris to let out a snarky remark.

,,Who said I wouldn't date you?'' Chris asked her, causing her eyes to shoot open and look at him.

,,Chris, don't say shit like that when I have a boyfriend.'' Evelyn shook her head, and Chris chuckled.

,,Evs, we literally just fucked, and your worried about me confessing my love for you?'' Chris shook his head.

,,Yeah, I guess. I mean, I'm not worthy of him anymore, but if you confess your love foe me I'll feel so shitty.'' Evelyn confessed.

,,How come?'' Chris asked, tilting his head in confusion.

,,Because, Chris.. Your so fucking stupid. I've always wanted you. I started dating Jake, in hopes he'd give me everything you wouldn't. Like actually going out with me, cuddling, doing.. couple things, instead of just fucking all the time and leaving.'' Evelyn shook her head, and Chris' gaze softened.

,,Holy shit, Evvy.. Why didn't you tell me..? You know I wouldn't have wasted a second to get with you.'' Chris whispered, and Evelyn let out a frustrated groan.

,,Oh my fucking god, Chris. Don't pin this on me. You know good as hell I've always wanted you. You've just always been too 'scared of commitment'.'' Evelyn snapped, causing Chris to look at her sadly.

,,Evs. I'm so so so fucking sorry. I love you. You know that. And your right. I'm a pussy. I wanted you so bad I should've just asked you out before Jake got to. Damn me for that.'' Chris apologized, and stood up to put his clothes back on.

,,Chris, no.. I didn't mean it like that.. I'm sorry-''

,,No, your right. It's MY fault that I didn't ask you out. Forget the fact that you could've asked me out, no. Because in what fucking world would that happen, Evelyn? I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry that you love me, but I can't do shit about that now, since you got your new fucking boyfriend that you basically just admitted to not liking.'' Chris scoffed, as he finished putting his clothes on.

,,Will you go out with me?'' Evelyn asked as Chris was just about to walk out of her door. She wasn't sure why she asked it, she knew it was wrong, but fuck, she did love him. He froze.

,,What.?'' he asked, his heart beating out of his chest.

,,Chris, will you go out with me?'' She asked again, and he turned around.

,,What about Jake?'' He asked, and Evelyn stood up, and made her way towards Chris.

,,Fuck Jake.'' She said, her lips meeting Chris'.

[dwntwn-strnlo]

SNOW ON THE BEACH chris sturniolo

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.

↳ 𝐀/𝐍. being from a state in america that has such jurastic weather changes i have an insane love hate relationship w snow but its whatever this was cute

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. christopher sturniolo x reader

↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. "weird but fuckin beautiful."

↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? no!

↳ 𝐂𝐖! none!

credits to @rainsoakedphoenix because i wouldnt have gotten this idea if it weren't for their fic "cinnamon rolls" so go check that out!

youre gently shaken awake, eyes opening to find the light from the hallway spilling into the bedroom.

chris' silhouette is slightly illuminated by the glow peaking behind the door. showing how he's leaned over the bed, balancing on his knuckles. a small smile peaking on his lips.

"hey," he whispers, soothingly rubbing his thumb over your shoulder. "I wanna show you something."

you groan, burying your head into the pillow beneath you. "it's too early."

he laughs lightly, the bed sinking as he sits down next to you. running his hand up and down your back. "I know baby, but you're gonna be really excited about this."

turning your head to meet his eyes, you can sense the genuine excitement in his demeanor. which ultimately protests against your want to stay in bed. "okay. . ." you mumble, rubbing at your eyes and slowly sitting up.

chris smiles, standing up and putting his hands out for you to latch onto. pulling you up to your feet and pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "put something warm on."

you raise your eyebrows at him, curious as to what he wants to show you. but you just tiredly nod and grab the hoodie that hangs loosely over chris' chair. following him out of his bedroom.

putting on your slides, you look at the time on the microwave. "chris it's two in the morning." you yawn.

he walks up to you with a teasing grin, "quit complaining, kid." he grabs your hand with a small laugh and brings you to the front door. unlocking it and letting you bask in the sight in front of you.

"holy shit!" you laugh, running out onto the front porch. "its snowing?!"

the soft flecks of snow delicately dance across your skin as you put your hands up in astonishment. the city silent as the street lamps illuminate the thin crust of frozen water. you've lived in los angeles you're whole life and you can't remember the last time it snowed. sure you've seen snow once or twice, but this felt different. magical even.

"weird isnt it?" you laugh, spinning around to find chris walking out of the house.

"it's beautiful." he smiles, walking up to you and cupping your cheeks in his chilly hands. pressing a soft, passionate kiss to your lips.

you beam brightly at him, suddenly no longer feeling tired. the tiny, falling stars waking you up and bringing you to live in the moment. never feeling so awake at such an odd hour in the night.

"thank you for waking me up, i can't believe i almost missed this!"

chris smiles, gently rubbing your cheek with his thumb. "i figured it would've melted by the time you woke up."

"thank you, thank you, thank you." you giggle, pulling him back down to your level for another kiss.

he bites lightly down on his lip in amusement, happy to see how excited you are over the weather he spent his whole life dreading. telling himself to appreciate these things that seemed meaningless to him, but other worldly to you.

TAGLIST

@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @matthewmurdockswife @jellybeanbby

[lemotmo]

I just finished watching episode 8x04 and…

… I basically just ran to get my laptop and start writing my thoughts down, because OMG!!! SO MANY THOUGHT RIGHT NOW!!!!! 🤯

These thoughts might all be jumbled up, because I’m still flailing here. This might not make any sense. Sorry for that. 🫣

My first thought is this:

This was such a great episode. Classic 911 in so many ways. I love all of it… well, almost all of it. Let’s start with the only thing in this episode that I didn’t really care for.

That opening scene was crazy. Straight into the golf scene. I mean, we had so many theories there and it turned out it was just about Gerrard wanting Buck to choose people to fire. So unserious. I love how our theories mostly end up being wrong like this. At least we had fun theorising. 😂

It’s obvious they tweaked Gerrard’s character in the season 8 arc. He was still a terrible and selfish man, but they cut down on the racist language and most of the bigotry. They made him laughable and a bad captain, but I admit that I don’t like the way they handled his character in the end.

They redeemed him by making him the hero of the episode and giving him a happy ending. And while I understand the reasoning behind this, I still feel that more could have been done to hold him accountable for the things he did in the past.

The way he treated Hen and Chim in the past is not okay and I feel that this was swept under the rug. But they clearly wanted his character to be a bit more like a comic villain this time around, so I’ll make my peace with it. But I wish they would have handled it differently.

This also leads me to believe that the BT break up won’t revolve around Tommy’s past behaviour, but it will be focused more on the fact that Buck and Tommy just aren’t right for each other.

That brings me to all the things I did like or even loved.

I cried so hard while seeing that first courtroom scene with henren. It just broke my heart.😩 Hen pleading to the judge to get Mara back was so heartfelt. I also loved Hen’s scene with Ortiz. That actress was so good in her role. I just wanted to reach into my screen and shake her.

Gerrard recording her with the body-cam was soooo predictable. The moment he started talking to Ortiz with his body-cam in plain sight? It was very obvious what was going on.

That last scene when Mara came back home? I bawled my eyes out. So good. I’m glad we didn’t get any conflict between Henren and Madney. I was a little afraid of that, but it turned out so great for all of them. YAY! Our girl is finally where she belongs!🤗

I loved how everyone showed up at Bobby’s to talk about their problems. And YAY he acknowledged the moustache!

I did find it odd for Athena to suggest to Bobby to rebuilt the old home. I mean, if you get the chance to build a new house, why would you go for a replica of the old one you built with your ex-husband. Yikes. She should have thought this through better. I’m glad that Bobby spoke up and told her the truth. I’m excited to see their new home!

I loved the medical emergencies in this one. The tiger was insane! When Chimney was hanging in front of the window and that tiger suddenly appeared? I had to pause the video for a moment. It was such a jumpscare. And once again Buck and Eddie were attached to the hip during that emergency.

Which brings me to the part I’m most excited about:

The Eddie storyline. MY MIND IS BLOWN! I kid you not, I screamed when Eddie was talking to the cheerleader’s father. The man didn’t want to see his son because he was a cheerleader??? I love how Eddie reached in and told him that it didn’t matter who his son was, he would always be his son.

I loved how we got to see Eddie missing Christopher and how it hurts to be without him.

There is an obvious link between that boy and his father and how Eddie was raised. The toxic masculinity surrounding all of it. How Eddie was raised to be the man of the house and how unhealthy that childhood was.

This is it! This is the kick-off of Eddie’s storyline. This is where he will start to question all he’s ever known in life. He will take a step back and start rethinking the choices he made and how he was always lead by the thought of him needing to be a real man’s man. Listen, this storyline? Dare I say it?

Yeah, I do. This is the kick-off of Eddie’s queer storyline. At this point, if it turns out to be anything else than that? I would be shocked. This is the only outcome that makes sense right now. We were right. We were right all along. Feels kinda nice, doesn’t it? 😋

Also… listen, I think I drooled a little when competent Eddie appeared in the back of that ambulance. That was sooooo hot. I don’t mind them showing off Eddie’s goofy side, but once in a while, when the show travels down the ‘competent Eddie’ road, showing us quite how clever he is and what he can do? Yeah… I’m not complaining at all!

I haven’t seen the 8x05 promo yet. I’ll try to look for it later to see if they showed us anything interesting for next week’s episode.

All in all, what a great episode! They tied up all the loose ends, except for Eddie's storyline. His storyline is only beginning. 😏

I’m sure I forgot to talk about so many other things, but I’m not thinking very coherently right now. I just love this show so much!

Okay, I have a ton of asks in my ask box, so I'm going to read the all and respond to some. Excited to find you what you guys thought of this episode.

[eddiestightywhities]

okay this is very long and mostly just for me to get some stuff of my chest and out of my head therefore anybody tagged pls don't feel as though you have to read it all (like obvs you know you don't have to but you also hopefully know what i mean lol):

so i've had some quite heavy stuff going on in meatspace recently, and then i went to see i saw the tv glow two nights ago which was beyond brilliant but fucked me up entirely on a personal level. then, just to be a bit (read: incredibly) stupid, i for some reason (read: bc i'm a masochist) decided to delve into reading waaaay too many of my first 'eddie losing his shit over christopher leaving/summer of sexuality queer crisis' fics, which i've not dared let myself do before now bc it's all very close to the bone for me i.e. my own queer (trans) crises—yes, plural, they keep coming—and stuff that's not a million miles away from the shit going on with my eldest son (bar kim lol). why tf my brain chose the worse time possible is just another one of life's mysteries (read: i'm just insane [see above]).

(btw my struggling hugely with issues of repression plus my son hating/not hating me aside, THIS FIC is the insanely brilliant piece of art that kicked off the binge. it's from the astonishingly talented @wildehacked and is one of two parts which are possibly the best buddie fics—or even just some of the best fics, period—that i've ever read. seriously, check the tags and if you're a buddie lover and it/they seem like your sort of thing you should 100% go save/read it/them!)

anyways, after all that i'm now just kind of spiralling a bit tbh aha. i'm not fine, not rn, but i will be fine at some point soon sort of thing. like, i'm okay and nobody needs to worry etc i'm just trying to do one if the countless things that i'm absolutely bloody terrible at which is reaching out. but not because i need anything from anybody it's more just for me to be able to say “i'm going through some stuff right now and i might or might not disappear for a while” because i don't usually manage anything at all like that when i'm in the trenches and instead just retreat into my shell and go radio silent—and the thing is, i know some very lovely people who have shown concern when i've done that in the past and i'm therefore trying to be better. friends old and new alike such as @shealynn88 @sharkfish @greyhavenisback @raisesomehale @doilooklikepeople @woodchoc-magnum @buddiebeginz i'll absolutely be getting back/chatting to you when i'm able to interact with a bit more—well, when i'm a bit more, i 'spose xp

also tagging lovelies @novemberhush for the usually well-loved procrastination tag game stuff and @inell and @kitteneddiediaz (and possibly @veronae-buddie and @daffi-990?) for the WIP games i've been kindly tagged in but not responded to. thank you and sorry! like, i know it's absolutely fine and nobody really cares about stuff like that, but i'm just very much feeling like i need to say these things right now. and more apologies if there have been tags i've missed from other lovely folks; not being round these parts for 48+hrs = horrendous notifs situation (you know how it is).

on the writing front, i don't know if it's both completely dumb and ridiculous to start this by saying, “hmm, i'm unsure if it's related or not?” but as well as everything else i'm simultaneously having one one those Everything I Have Ever Written Am Writing Or Could Write Is Utter Fucking Dogshit sort of moments (like, i know i'm not a great writer—which is not derogatory and just fact and 100% absolutely fine—but i'm usually at peace with the strange little oneshots i puke out, y'know?) which is yet another reason for me to disappear off here for the time being as i sadly have one of those unhealthy irrational relationships with fandom that's like I Don't Deserve To Be Here If I'm Not Being Useful—which i know is dumb af and i would absolutely try to coax anyone else out of if it were them saying it and not me, but alas poor yorick. thing is, i used to be incredibly prolific in making fanart, for loads of different fandoms, and that too has dwindled considerably over the last year or more (god, is it that long?) therefore it's just a double whammy currently with the writing now also taking a hit. and i know, i know, whomp whomp poor me etc etc i just—i fear whenever i disappear, i won't ever be able to make it back... bleugh horrid lol

obviously i can't seem to be normal about anything ever so i'm sorry if this is a weird way to respond to nothing happening that nobody asked about (there is no 'if'; it absolutely is weird but i'm afraid it is what it is) and i truly don't need anything from anybody, i just think me posting this and saying how i'm feeling will probably be doing me a bit of good. honestly, pls feel free to ignore, this is just cathartic for me. but i guess, at the same time, as well as those things, me being on the spectrum means i'm not skilled at keeping friendships going, which makes me very sad, so this is maybe me voicing those fears in an attempt to combat them becoming a reality? i think? it's just that i've already drifted away from too many lovely people here due to the affects of these things and i'm therefore just—i think i'm just really trying in my own odd little way.

anyways i'm gonna go rewatch some sense8 and sob out my own weight in tears and snot and just keep on keeping on with existential crisis #4793 for the time being until something shifts in me and then i'll be back at some point? yeah, i think that sounds about right.

love you guys big much (one of my son's isms from when he was little) <3

ps just realised i wrote this on my buddie blog and really can't be arsed copying and pasting it over to my main @all-or-nothing-baby... so anybody who was wondering, yeah it's me yer boi cassidy xp also if you read this far you're insane and i love you even more for it <3

[primal--scream]

She doesn't even go here

So yeah, I'm stampeding into another fandom that is well under way and in which I'm barely halfway into season 3, but I love fandom, and I really love this show, and I have friends in this one and I'm diving in with both feet. I just started watching on Saturday and I'm already almost done with S3 and boy do I have some fucking thoughts. I plan to be caught up before they come back from hiatus. And for my jumping off point I'm picking 3x3

So you want me NOT to ship that? Oh fuck that. You can't ask me not to ship co-dependent BFFs when the scene is set on an Ed Sheeran song.

THAT SONG and THAT SCENE. Are you fucking insane?

A neon fucking sign couldn't be more glaring.

I'm going to need my mutuals and you bisches know who you are, to load me up on 911 buddie gifs and theory and ALL THE FANDOM SHIT THAT I HAVE MISSED BECAUSE HEEELLLLLFUCKINGLLLOOOOO.

So listen music in shows isn't just music or background noise. It's significant to the scene in which they are playing it. So lets examine shall we. I know you all already know this.

It opens with a shot of Buck being all morose and this:

when I'm away I will remember how you kissed me Under the lampost back on Sixth Street Hearin' you whisper through the phone

Right okay, so obviously the song is about love, but it's about long distance love and how sometimes when you fight, you look at these pictures of yourselves together and everything is frozen in a happier time and no one is hurting, which kind of links back to the pic that Buck sent to Eddie of him and Christopher before everything went to shit and that frozen moment in time. And while this moment is about how Buck shouldn't give up trying to fight his way back to the department, it also mirrors how he didn't give up and kept searching for Christopher.

So it moves to the voice over Sometimes being lost is not knowing how to get from where we are to where we want to be, where we need to be and then then

wait for me to come home

And then there's Eddie knocking on the door, implying that Buck is waiting for Eddie and Christopher to come and Buck is really shocked to see them because why would Eddie trust him after what happened right? But Eddie has faith in him, because Eddie trusts him and more importantly Christopher trusts him which is key forEddie and more significant than anything else.

Buck trying to make himself the bad guy and Eddie absolutely refusing to let him do it *sobs* by putting all of his trust and faith in Buck to keep his son safe no matter what. And then the way Eddie forces Buck to meet his eyes, even following Buck's head movements to get the point across, and the subtle touch on Buck's neck and Bucks is being hit with some major feelings and then another voice over

A few choice words can sometimes be the life raft that gets you home to be seen, to be found isn't that what we're all searching for.

Eddie and Christopher are what Buck is searching for, it's just that none of them know it yet. And he's so fucking relived it's palpable.

This is the slowest fucking burn I've ever seen, but man the pay off is going to be fucking phenomenal if it happens.

And who knows if it will, but they're building it, and maybe it won't, but I know we see it and they know we see it, and that matters as much as whether or not it happens.

[im-out-of-it]

“It seemed like a distant dream now, of a more innocent time (Thomas in the infirmary), when the horrors of the present would have been unimaginable, and the loss of James and Matthew were unimaginable still. They’re not dead, he reminded himself, starting to turn over, the blankets rustling around his feet.”

you know what’s a crazy idea??? this is something CC never imagined but wouldn’t it be crazy if we I don’t know, grieved Kit?

YOU KNOW WHO ACTUALLY IS DEAD? YOUR COUSIN BROTHER BFF THOMAS. it’s not Thomas’s fault that the writing goes against him. seriously why can’t Kit be grieved??????? why is the whole focus on Matthew and James? okay I get if they’re missed (I only miss Mathew) and you want to move forward in this war but someone very close died and everyone acts like he never fucking existed.

this is an inappropriate pov because all she has Thomas focus on now is Matthew and James. he gets heartbroken and maybe it hurts him to think of Kit. but Thomas doesn’t actually have to go on and on about. HE HAS A BRAIN SO LET HIM USE IT CC. I’m sorry but I don’t believe someone Thomas spent with every second (basically) of the day with is just going to ignore their death?

NO I DONT BELIEVE IT. I get they’re all worried and everything but belial needs James and for James to cooperate, that means keeping Matthew alive. so why would you think that they would die? they need to be alive for giving belial what he wants. and we already knew that Cordelia would use Cortana to kill belial and then save james. it was obvious from the moment it was mentioned.

the only unfinished business kit has is being properly mourned lmao like imagine dying and everyone’s not even grieving????? fuck I’d be hurt and ghost the fuck out of them 💀 it makes it look as though Christopher never mattered. they don’t have to be all in hysterics but LET THEM GRIEVE ALREADY

Barbara was a very minor character and she got to be grieved more than Christopher did who was there for most of it. I love Barbara and honestly girl could’ve been grieved more (or add other pov) but she was in the series for 1% of the time.

I seriously do not understand the hold and obsession CC has with the herondales. why do their presence matter more? I swear if she had any balls and killed off James, she would make everyone fucking grieve James and act like they couldn’t live without him. but it’s a Lightwood and it’s forgotten. who cares because the lightwoods don’t matter to cc!!!!

it’s just frustrating because Kit deserved to be grieved. he deserved better writing. his defending Grace could have been handled better. like the fact that CC makes the focus for Thomas about Matthew and James is insane. I’m sorry but she shouldn’t be in charge of her own pov and majority of what she writes lmao

side note: eldest curses isn’t too bad but at least it had other writers so the main focus wasn’t the herondales because devil forbid, you have more than two characters in the story and how terrible is it to include others. sorry not sorry but I can’t think of anyone who just wants to read about the same two toxic bland uninteresting characters for 700+ pages

I also want to add I love adore admire Thomas and I’m happy he at least got some pov but I feel that the way CC went about it wasn’t fair to Thomas. yes she created these characters but I feel we as readers know them more. we know how much Thomas cares for Kit. we know he starts to have feelings for Alastair and tries to hide it as best as he can. we know he’s kind and sometimes wishes he weren’t. it’s handled (thomastair by the way) a lot better than Malec but I think it still needed a bunch of tuning. CC is focusing on all of the wrong things in my opinion

CHRISTOPHER DESERVED BETTER

[housewarningparty]

Your turn!

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

thanks to you @badwolfwho1 who both asked me!

music:

right off the top i'm gonna recommend 3 pop albums bc i almost never have this many TO recommend. but tei shi's valerie, empress of's for your consideration, and shygirl's club shy EP have all been on constant repeat for me this year.

big year for metal also - in particular crypt sermon, job for a cowboy, darkest hour, gatecreeper, aborted and tzompantli were all incredible. i feel like between seeing them live and the release of cure, this is the first time erra has really clicked for me and i'm loving it.

for post-hardcore i've loved the debut LPs by with sails aheads and your ghost in glass. the EP lonely people by love rarely was on repeat for me for weeks also - really great stuff.

i got heaven by mannequin pussy slaps too. and i also really, really want to recommend you could do it tonight by couch slut - if you love the queasy, depraved noise that chat pile make, you absolutely should be listening to couch slut.

i threw a couple little playlists together to roundup some of my faves:

(extended version here)

honorable mention: as was really apparent from my charts this year, i spent A LOT of time listening to the saosin s/t again. but also got really back into grouper this year - especially her 2021 album shade, which i missed entirely when it came out.

books:

okay for music i focused mostly on 2024 releases but for books i won't be so strict.

shirley jackson: a rather haunted life by ruth franklin was REALLY good and provided a lot of great insight into jackson's work and also just had some really interesting history in it. really enjoyed it.

hit so hard by patty schemel a rock music and addiction memoir by the drummer of Hole. very dark and upsetting at points, but compelling. was very illuminating re: the 90s seattle music scene and the drug culture around it, provided a lot of context and detail to some stuff i thought i already knew about. really great stuff.

penance by eliza clark - this is a fake true crime book that REALLY got under my skin. it's a meta commentary on true crime as a fandom and an industry and the exploitation inherent in it. it's a mirror to make you stare at your own internal biases. it's SO fucking 2014 tumblr. i've gotten like three other people to read it and they all went insane like me. highly recommended.

hex by thomas olde heuvelt - very late to the party on this one but i loved it. translated AND localized from dutch, with very interesting results. almost goofy to start and ends up totally bleak. i adored it.

magic for beginners and white cat, black dog by kelly link - REALLY falling in love with kelly link this year. read these two and currently re-reading stranger things happen and i just adore her style. weird but SO heartfelt, surreal and dreamy, as often horrifying as it is sweet. she's so talented, i'm really excited to read the book of love later this year.

between two fires by christopher buehlman - FINALLY read this and i loved it. absolutely deserves the hype. kinda wild that dark ages horror isn't more of a thing? i re-read buehlman's the blacktongue thief too and really loved it, definitely cemented it as one of my favorite fantasy books. i'm reading the daughters' war now and enjoying it a lot.

i also re-read the golden enclaves by naomi novik and had such a great time with it.

tv shows:

finished my buffy re-watch! been watching a ton of xena with @holdsteady and @nataliving this year too - we just finished s3 and it was insane and i loved it soooo much.

i watched under the bridge and thought it was very good, but i'd recommend people learn a little about the real reena virk case before engaging.

hacks season 3 was INSANE it made me crazy i loved it so much.

haven't watched much tv aside from that!

[itwoodbeprefect]

catching up!! watching 911 season 7 episode 1!! let's goooo

the first three minutes of this episode are like "athena watched a cruise ship disaster on tv and it affected her for life. here's a cruise ship disaster we're putting on your tv (hehehe)."

i briefly stop watching mayday/air crash investigation episodes, only to STILL see a plane crash into a house. let's get greg feith and his excellent colorful ties in here asap

okay not actually technically relevant but. i googled "greg feith ties" and found this:

and the answer is no!! shut up!!

anyway. bi buck and his bi saw! (i may be too early.)

ahhh, the face i've already seen a dozen times:

buck was missed. <3

god, i love chimney. presumably this honeymoon life plan of his isn't going to work out perfectly smoothly, but it's adorable.

athena's dress is great, but this is a prime Just Talk To Bobby Please sort of worry she's having. i mean, literally, talk to him, and she'll probably find they do have things to talk about.

THREE DATES A WEEK. yeah, there we go (affectionate), that's gonna be a mess. very sweet, very stupid!

a spreadshEET. i love themmm. still very stupid though!!

"except only in one case is there underlying sexual tension [sprays using phallic looking object at hip height]" is definitely a little insane, you were all correct. also EXTREMELY a conversation that feels like they knew what they were doing, considering i now know where this is going

eddie is a nester! he nests!

christopher doesn't get this from eddie, implying he gets it from buck somehow. feelingssss.

god. buck taking save the trees a bit too figuratively:

throwing the champagne glasses to the side while you're in the pool is i guess a cool carefree no fucks given thing to do in theory, but it's going to be so much less cool and carefree when you step in the glass while walking around barefoot later. i mean, on top of the waste of a perfectly good glass

i HAD seen the angsty mom-left-us (and eddie is listening in) part of the buck&chris conversation, but not the entire part before it with buck very earnestly trying to find his way through this parenting talk eddie enlisted him for, and it's great, i love it.

"i feel like you're trying to avoid me." < thank you for Saying The Thing, bobby.

lola is resting..... this man has blood behind his ear...... this is 911...... he killed lola?

"i don't think we're gonna see much of lola any time soon." oh, she's VERY dead. and/or locked in their cabin, which would potentially be good and dramatic when the ship starts sinking

he made a list!! love you, bobby

athena going full "norman peterson murdered his wife!!!" and bobby being very convinced that he didn't and athena is making things up to avoid him is a) finally a funny turn for this subplot and b) even funnier in light of bobby's behavior in the rear window episode.

"... o-or he murdered his wife." i love when this show does comedy and the timing is just right. thank you, peter krause

one of the things about this show that i still think was a terrible writing choice is the way they killed shannon, so i'm glad they're at least dealing with the impact all of the parental shuffling and absence had on christopher. it's great that they brought the actress back for that one moment.

"did i read the spreadsheet wrong?", reminding me of the spreadsheet, and "did something else happen on a call?", meaning maddie immediately knows what would have changed chimney's mind again - maddie and chimney are flawless, no notes.

THEY took lola!! so that's how the ship activity manager or whatever that guy with the weird vibe's job is will turn out to be evil and/or in evil cahoots with lola

dongle. i haven't heard that word in forever. didn't know they were being used for bitcoin

oh, 911. just a ship in a weather-related emergency isn't enough, we also need terrorists holding everyone hostage. at times i could almost start to think i was watching h50

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 10, "The Bracebridge Dinner", Part 2

You can read my previous reviews here.

I'd say someone needs to put Miss Patty on a leash, but she'd enjoy that a little too much. Down girl Down! My homegirl Paris is exhausted sitting next to Patty all night, having to hear about an elderly woman's insatiable cravings for young meat. She's also depressed because she was hoping to be sat next to Rory, the love of her life, but the stars did not align in her favor.

Michel is me during every episode except this one and maybe 5 others.

Dear God, Patty. He's spoken for.

My two favorite Party Poopers. (later after the dinner, Rory and Lorelai are in their room at the Inn). Rory: Have you heard from Dad yet? He usually checks in this time of year. Take a minute to dissect that sentence. Take 5 minutes, if you need to. Let it sink in. Crusty: "Is it December again? Golly, I almost forgot. It's that special time of year where I call my daughter. The annual Daddy-Daughter Phone Call." Lorelai neglected to tell Rory that Crusty "checked in" and invited her to stay over. Rory: Why didn't he ask me? Lorelai: He's pretending to be considerate by running it by me first.

Oh Rory, my sweet summer child in oversized blue floral pajamas. No. Rory: Why didn't you tell me? Lorelai: Because I have dibs on you this time of year, not him! I want to know what kind of strip-mall custody lawyer these two visited where they called dibs on their child lol

She also goes on to say "there's something wrong with that woman" (a woman she's never met, by the way). I am going to utter a very cursed sentence: "IN CHRISTOPHER'S DEFENSE" (*VOMITS*), Lorelai is acting like Christopher wanted Rory to live with him for 6 months or something. He asked her to visit for a weekend over her winter break.

Justice for Sherry, she did nothing wrong. Justice for all the women on this show whose only crimes were having questionable taste in men like Dean and Christopher and end up in the crosshairs of their jealous ex girlfriends or not-yet-girlfriends. Sherry did not deserve to be called "your stupid stepmother" (and understandably, Rory interrupts her mother's insane rambling to question whether Sherry has even earned the rank of stepmother yet)..Justice for Lindsay. Justice for Shane because Rory was nasty to her for no reason and because she didn't deserve to be brutally murdered by Jess and end up swan food at the bottom of the lake. (more on that in season 3).

Yeah, so nice of him to invite you to visit him once a year.

Whuuhh? Why? Can we have a Jimmy Mariano Vs Christopher Hayden Deadbeat Father Death Match? I'll make popcorn. Lorelai: Okay, maybe I was being a littttle possessive and insanely jealous of his pretty girlfriend. We love to see moments of self awareness here at TWWGG. Bless. Instead of weekly fundraisers to fix a bridge, couldn't they have used that money to pay for desperately needed therapy for Rory and Lorelai instead? During dinner, Richard accidentally revealed he was retiring and Emily didn't know and now they're mad at each other. They have a conversation about it that drags on way too long. I don't care.

Uhhhhh. I'm uncomfortable. Anyways

Listen to her. She may be seven but she's very wise.

Hi. Bye.

The wretched Forrester parental units. I will never forgive you for unleashing your demon son onto the world. NEVER.

Three guesses to what Butthead just witnessed. You're really gonna thin out your lips, get all scowly and constipated just because you saw them make eye contact across a room? Okay, it was pretty good eye contact, he should be concerned. In the beginning of the episode while Rory and Lorelai are building their snowman for the contest, their competition includes an advanced snowman sculptor who seems as if he was planted to throw the contest in his favor ("a ringer") and they conclude it would be impossible to win against him. Rory tells Jess about The Ringer on their sleigh ride. At the end of the episode, L&R notice his snowman has been destroyed. I never connected the dots the first dozen times I've seen this episode that Jess destroyed that snowman to help Rory win the contest. And that's why I love this show. You can watch it over and over will always pick up on something new.

(Want to know another reason this is one of my favorite episodes? Nobody gets mad at Jess or gives him any bullshit. The Chuck thing doesn't count).