#‘changing’ as in i learn something new about myself

[digitaltaesan]

── HE’S SOMETHING

in which PARK JISUNG stumbles across his girlfriends diary, finding multiple journal entries about him.

PARING: bf!jisung x gf!reader

WORDCOUNT: 664

GENRE: established relationship, fluff fluff fluff, lovesick reader

WARNINGS: short and sweet :]

NOTE: part of my series yel express :>

today is our anniversary and i can’t help but dream about our future. i hope i’m not getting too ahead of myself.

but it just seemed perfect. a life where we graduate and move in together. of course i get the ride side of everything. he doesn’t oppose, like the gentleman he is.

before jisung i felt like i wasn’t worth of love. it was hard, watching everyone around me move forward and fall in love. but i was stuck in the same spot—stuck by myself.

when he came into my life it felt like heaven. he made me laugh, made me see the true beauty in myself.

without jisung, i don’t know where i’d be.

today i find myself reflecting on the chaos of my life—love has always been an interesting one. it sneaks up on you, sometimes when you least expect it.

i remember when i first felt what I thought was love—it was overwhelming to say the least. it was like everything in my world became brighter, but also more complicated.

love has this ability to make everything feel alive, but it also has a sharp edge. the vulnerability it brings, the fear of loss, it’s almost as if i’m willingly walking into a storm. and then there’s the joy, that sense of being seen, understood, and held by another person. it makes me believe that love is worth all the highs and lows.

but then there are feelings—those subtle, silent guides that whisper to me, shaping my decisions without me even realizing.

sometimes, it’s a soft warmth that tells me everything is okay, and other times, it’s a deep ache that makes me question everything.

i’ve learned that feelings aren’t something to be ignored. they carry messages. they tell me when i’m out of alignment with myself, or when i’m not allowing myself to feel all that I need to.

sometimes, i wish i could control them better—hold back the tears when they come or stop myself from feeling so much.

but without feelings and love, i wouldn’t have stumbled into jisung. and every time i think of the moment we first met, i never regret it.

there’s something so exhilarating about the feeling that everything’s new again. it’s like i’ve stepped into a world where every moment sparkles with possibility.

ever since he came into my life, it feels like i see the world differently. it’s as if everything, even the most ordinary things, carry a new kind of magic when he’s around.

when we’re together, even the simplest moments feel full. i never thought i’d find someone who makes life feel so alive, never thought i’d find jisung.

i used to believe i could find contentment on my own, that i didn’t need anyone to change the way i experience life. but then I met him, and suddenly everything’s better.

the way he laughs, the way his eyes light up when he talks about his dreams, the way he listens when i share mine—it all feels like a dream.

i never knew life could feel this bright. he’s brought a warmth into my life that i didn’t even know was missing. everything feels lighter, more vibrant, more hopeful when he’s by my side.

it’s strange how quickly someone can come into your world and change the way you see it. i find myself looking at the future with more excitement than i ever thought possible, simply because i can’t imagine it without him.

everything feels better with him—every smile, every conversation, every shared glance. there’s a sense of peace that comes from knowing he’s there, making everything feel right.

it’s funny, because before him, i never imagined this kind of connection. i didn’t know how much of a difference it could make to have someone who just fits, like two pieces of a puzzle coming together. life has a way of surprising you, and i’m thankful every day that he’s part of my surprise.

surely, definitely, he’s something

©https//www.digitaltaesan.com

[whiteobsidian]

from cyra, to you

My struggle with LOA and how I overcame it.

During the summer (in 2020), around July I read a community post about the law of assumption, then I really did my research and had a better understanding of the law of assumption. It was quite fun and painful, I would read the same posts just to get reassurance that what I was doing was “correct”. Growing up with only listening to instructions made it a bit difficult to transition from the law of attraction to assumption. Though the law of attraction didn’t do  me any good.

When I got into the law of attraction in (last) december it was like a miracle had happened and I could change anything I “disliked” all by listening to some music online. I discovered those videos by accident, and I don’t regret it but I do regret abusing it and myself.  During quarantine + online school I was probably at my lowest point in life, I was depressed and scared and my anxiety had turned severe, especially as a black person during this period. I had also gained weight and my acne was worse than ever, In conclusion : I was insecure. Using subliminals was my escape from that, being so desperate to fit into today's beauty standards , I wasn’t doing myself any justice, I would get angry at the 3d for not showing what I wanted to see. I drank 2 liters of water a day, why wasn’t I getting results? I listened at low volume, why wasn’t I getting results? This mindset did change…. well kinda.

As I wrote earlier, I read a community tab from one of my favorite submarkes talking about how they used the law of assumption to manifest. I was obviously confused, I didn’t even know there were different laws/ ways to manifest. This got me into watching Hyler and Sammy Ingrams videos for a whole day straight. I was fascinated to say the least, and I was even more excited learning that visualization can also help you manifest, since I am a big day dreamer. A few weeks later, I had an instagram account and followed lots of coaches and accounts. I was doing self concept challenges and abundance challenges. I had manifested a lot of new things (clothes, macbook, food) but I wanted something more, something I saw as “BIG”. You might've already guessed : appearance changes.

I didn’t want to change for me, I wanted to change so I would be treated differently, that I would have a better life with prettiness. I had a ugly mindset and this ugly mindset told me I was ugly, I never really thought I was an ugly person before and I'm questioning why I ever thought I was in the first place, I had completely changed and it scared me, I was desperate. I would get mad when I didn't see what i wanted, this led me to repeating the old story over and over again. It took me longer than I expected to get my appearance changed because I had doubts. The 3d is a reflection, a movie of your thoughts. All I needed to do was to change my mindset on how I saw myself. 

Self Concept

Self concept changed my whole view on manifesting and honestly myself.  Your self concept is how you see yourself, how others treat you, how you see the world etc etc, for example if you believe that men or women treat you badly then it's going to reflect your reality. I had a lot of old  thoughts and assumptions that would mold into the 3d. Remember that no one is going to manifest for you, you have to do this yourself, know you are powerful, beautiful, and smart. Nobody can change these beliefs you have set in your mind except you. You need to work on yourself. 

Techniques and Methods

i’m going to put this out now, you DON'T need to do any methods or techniques to get “faster results” do whatever makes you feel comfortable, if you're new to the law of assumption feel free to try any techniques you're interested in, just don’t be pressured to. It's not mandatory to do all this extra stuff, unless you really want to. 

Timing

I know that all of us want our results to come quick, instant even and it is possible, but only unless you truly believe that. Know that your affirming is going to work and that your results are already there, if you are affirming for quick instant results, know that you will get quick and instant results. You don't necessarily have to believe in your affirmation, you just need to believe that what your doing is going to work. If you've been affirming and listening to subliminals for months and you're still “not” getting results it's not the 3d, it's you. 

Why?

You can manifest anything you want, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise but question yourself, why? Especially if it's an appearance change, I hope you're manifesting an appearance change because you're doing it for YOU. Not for validation, or to actually “feel��� pretty. You are a powerful being, don't let others determine your self worth or determine who you are. 

Apply

Manifesting is simple, especially in the law of assumption, all you need to do is affirm, persist, and know.

Affirm for what you want 

Persist in that thought over and over

Know that your thought will materialize into the 3d no matter what

STOP over consuming info online, I don’t care if a loa creator posted, I bet you already know what it's about by the title. Stop going on instagram and tumblr just to read things you already know, if you're really that impulsive then delete the apps! Don’t waste all your time for reassurance to see what you're doing is right. There is no right or wrong, just manifest.

Have fun!

Have fun when manifesting, don’t make it seem like it is a chore or it's that pile of homework that's sitting around in your room. Think about it, you can manifest your dream life by just thinking, I want you all to have fun when manifesting, enjoy it! Know that you have everything you want all just by assuming!

Remember, you’re one of a kind <3

with all my love, 

xoxo cyra, 111 222

ps. I did manifest an appearance change (and everything else I wanted), all by working on myself! :)

[delphiniumpacificguinevere]

Gosh, this is gonna be a long story… I mean really long…

Absolutely starting with T.H.White’s the once and future king. My parents were like changing working places in different countries all the time and so my siblings and I were usually went to international schools which were taught in English, u know, global language, and international schools in all countries teach in English. So back to about 7 one of my teachers (a very sweet British lady) gave me that White’s novel and I was just so into it. But then I’m started to focus on other stuffs and did not think about Arthurian for years.

The when I was like 13 or something(can’t remember lol) my family moved to the UK and my school was like spending the whole year teaching Le Morte D’ Arthur in Literature class, but what’s the most important for me is that, they adapted the book into a stage play (not a big one, just school show) and selected performers from among the students. Yes, and I have been chosen to cast Guinevere. (I still don’t know why my teacher choose me a new coming student and English is like my 3rd or 5th language, maybe just eney menny miny moe ur gonna be Guinevere in this show lol). I was under huge pressure but also very grateful for the trust so I was like “I’m gonna do this beyond just ok, come hell or high water”. I made the whole year absorbing all Arthurian sources as much as I could and I spent most of my time learning about Gwen (Obviously). I feel like I started to have a strong and deep emotion connection to the Camelot Queen and by the end of the show I felt like I wanted to cry so badly, I was so attached to Guinevere (it was really embarrassing i still can’t figure out what’s wrong with myself lol).

Yeah, I think this is where I really started to get into the Arthurian legend, I even think that liking it was the reason I chose to stay in the UK. (Yup, my parents have since happily gone on to work in other countries, but I said I don't want to wander around, I’m gonna stay here plz let me stay) Gosh, it's so convenient that if you live in the UK if you see a certain location of interest for Arthurian you can just go there and check it out…

btw my sister is also quite into Arthuriana (well, under my influence), but she’s pretty stick to Arthur & Guinevere, so every time u know when i say “aww i feel like Guincelot and even MordGuin is cute” she’s like “damn u…” lol, sisterhood<3

Plz ignore this part:

And thanks for the Isles of Britain to “adopt” me lol, feels like I'd be more likely to call the UK my home rather than others, as although I've lived in many countries (thanks to my parents? I guess I should be thankful? But I actually don’t really think so) I haven't grown attached to any of them probably because none of them have I lived for time long enough (even those where my ancestors came from, how to say this, like my lineage). Being mixed race identity crisis has always been a thing, even exacerbated by changing residence all the time in my childhood, so it really feels good to have a place a country to be called home u know… Seriously, in that way, Arthurian legend has changed my life (my saviour) (this sounds really really weird I know…)

Yeah i just yapped too much, ignore me plz… but this question just brought so many precious memories to me🥹… thx 4 this question for just be brought up🥺

arthuriana fandom. what was your FIRST introduction to arthuriana im v curious,,, like was it a book a movie word of mouth etc etc

[bladling]

It is so hard to keep friends bc I keep changing and changing and changing and they each drop off at a certain period but I am still me :(

[igneouswyvern]

FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FSNGSANGDSCNGSDGHHFCBNJDDCBJKKCZDCVBBHHDDBKKFFVJ

[acornered]

Ashamed, exhausted, food repulsed. Wish my gf was here so at least I could be held through the agony.

[miraculouslumination]

Boy oh boy am I so glad I use my online space how I want and have the wherewithal to not cave into guilt trippy posts about how you should always all day every day 24/7 subject yourself to the horror of the world wide news and also make your entire blog about it

[jatlokgwo]

dont feel guilt about change. the art made before the changes will still be there, its not a waste, think of it like a picture of you then, or now, and look back and see how much youve changed. oh and you can always go back on the new design thing of course so theres that too. i hope u feel good and okay about it :}

frames this ask in my brain anon your so right

the old design is still really important to me but if each design is who i was then ive been slowly looping back to a happier version of me that i thought died but diffrent in a good way realizing that makes me feel alot better about likeing it thank you!!! ^^

[chevaliermalfets]

retook the bdsm test and the more things change (****** percent more than doubling from 31 to 64) the more things stay the same (********** percent stay at 97)

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i really do love practicing 🎻

[lorisystem]

The nicest person in the world is the lady who helped me tie my shoes at 5ish years old so i could go play during recess. (I elaborated in the tags but theyre fairly long,,) -???

[cashmere-caveman]

rewatching being human in my twenties and after getting my brain thorougly scrambled by various things both in my personal life and the media ive discovered in the years in between is so funny bc back when i was an angsty fourteen year old i was like "oh my god they were in love and all was well but then it Turned Bad OHMYGOD i love tragedy"

and now i am older than both annie and mitchell were at their points of death and i am steadily approaching george's age and now i do stuff like look for motifs and patterns etc instead of just going "oh wow all of these ppl are so hot i am definitely bisexual" (even tho i still do that. do not be deceived.) bc i am now Older Smarter and Wiser (joke) and i just fucking love picking things apart at the seams to see the scaffolding holding up the theatre stage and make myself violently ill about it but at the bottom of it all behind all the ways in which i am telling myself that i am so much more chill about everything this time around it is actually Worse and i just think that is so funny

me and my teenage self are just holding hands juming up and down in the living room and screaming "can you fucking believe it oh my god they were in love and all was well but then!!! it Turned Bad!!!! OHMYGOD i love tragedy :D" and honestly i fucking love that! i love revisiting old fandoms and realizing not only is the love i had for this story still here but since i last visited it has festered and grown and now i actually have so many more ways to express it like!!!!! babes!!!!! isnt it FUN!!!!

[stampstamp]

The uni I work for has a satellite campus (half of a building) about 12 mins from my home by car but I almost always work on the main campus these days, so it takes me 50 minutes each way.

The job listing I'm looking at says that the company is based in the same street as my uni's satellite campus (I'm almost certain it's in the same building) but their LinkedIn page says that their office is on the same road as the main campus.

If their Indeed listing was wrong and they are actually near the main campus, there'd be no point applying, because I'd still have to drive for 48 minutes and that's why I'm job hunting.

It's a building I've walked past loads of times to go to Waitrose (but unfortunately, it's the building next to the pretty, glass one with people in sexy suits that makes me go 'I wish I worked there' lmao).

If I made it to the interview stage, I could walk to the office near my work in 15 minutes during my lunch break, or work out of the satellite campus for a day and walk to the office in 3 minutes or less. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's funny that their locations are both so close to my current organisation's two locations. I don't think my current boss would find it as funny, though.

I've emailed them for clarification. And asked them the other deal breaker questions to potentially save us both time.

[opqrstuv04]

Going to see twenty one pilots tomorrow with my roommate and my dad and sister, and DNP in November :)) middle school is back in a big way baby!

[nexus-nebulae]

actually making a concerted effort to learn written japanese (since I've learned a small amount of spoken already) and. oh boy did not realise how hard it is for my brain to learn new symbols

[yakisabajanai]

.