#‘changing’ as in i learn something new about myself
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As someone who's been (not an overly massive/knowledgeable, but still-) a fan of League's universe, here are some things I can recommend for Arcane fans, who are looking to learn more about Runeterra:
~ The large catalog of cinematics on YouTube. Many of them are not canon, but the vast majority of them are really high quality, and you can watch them for free!
~ The stories on the Universe website. Riot has unfortunately sort of abandoned that place, and there are a few characters who are not particularly fleshed out (Heimerdinger being one of them, funnily enough), but there are still a ton of gems to be found there. You can also access them for free, of course.
~ The Riot Forge games, and Legends of Runeterra. I didn't really give those a shot yet myself, but they have a pretty good reception in general, and they did quite a lot for the characters who appeared in those games. Something I especially adore about LoR myself is how well they fixed the designs of certain characters, while also further fleshing them out.
~ If you feel like really committing to something, you can order some of the novels about Runeterra. Currently, we have Realms of Runeterra (which is mostly centered around world building - sort of like Tolkien's 'The Silmarillion'), Garen: First Shield, and Ruination. We will also be getting a novel about Ambessa early next year, so that's something you Arcane fans could look forward to, as well.
~ And lastly, if you're still interested in playing League, then hop onto some ARAMs! Currently, there's an event, where the gamemode takes place in a new location - the bridge between Piltover and Zaun (which also gave us a couple new gameplay oriented changes)! Normally, it takes place in the Freljord, on a crumbling bridge meant to prevent an interdimensional threat from entering onto Runeterra. The map offers a more simple, short and casual experience, where you'll get to try out all sorts of different champions, thanks to the randomized selections. And hopefully, there will be more events in the future where it shows the various areas of the world.
It's so sad how Arcane shows you a bunch of exciting locations and then you go to the source material and it's just
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Hi everynyan,
Some of you will remember that I was taking names/addresses to send out free stickers in September. I am almost done sending them out now, so here's a quick update on that.
The Good!
I like this a lot! It's fun to do. For reference, I'm printing, laminating, and cutting these myself at home, so I'm learning a lot about my machine. I like being in charge of the quality control, I like doing the logistic work. Idk. It's fulfilling to me.
It's also really delightful to see names on the list who I've known of for a long time. Old and new faces, people all over the world, I love seeing people adopt a catgirl. :3 And for free! I'm by no means making a lot, but being able to provide something fun and physical to the people who enjoy my art for free is just! Wow!
The Bad!
Everything that could have gone wrong during this process did, which is why they're going out so late. The at-home manufacturing process was relatively simple but the materials kept being funky, or I'd do something wrong, so I'd have to toss something that I'd completely fucked up, OR I'd just miscount how much stuff material I had left. It's been a pain in the butt, so I'm glad it's done and that I've learned so much from it. I ALMOST FORGOT, I DESTROYED ONE CUTTING MAT MAKING THAT ROGER STANDEE FOR MY WEDDING LOL SO I HAD TO SPEND TIME CONDITIONING THE NEW CUTTING MAT! UGH!
There's also: the money. I know it's gauche to talk about it, but doing this was pretty expensive. I live in Canada now, and most of the letters were going out of Canada, so that postage added up. Materials cost, time, it's a pretty good chunk of change, but I didn't go broke so I want to do it again.
The Other?
I definitely want (and plan) to do this again very soon. I'm talking within this month. I'm making Christmas cards! I've already set money aside for this so it's all good, and it involves less at-home manufacturing since I can just reach out to a local print shop.
I know some people were wary of the google form, but I can't really find a better alternative at this time. MailChimp has had at least one major information leak in 2024 alone, so I am not sure where else to turn for collecting addresses at this time. I had a few people who did not give me towns/zip codes, and the street address would have three or four towns in that state alone with that address. Since I didn't collect e-mail addresses, I didn't have any way to reach out to entrants about this. If you don't see your sticker in the next few weeks, this might be why! I also plan on adding a checkbox just to confirm that the person requesting the sticker is over 18, NOT because I plan on sending anything saucy, but I know what it's like to be a teen with parents who open you mail, an I don't want to cause problems for anyone because Mom and Dad think fairies are satanic or something.
Most people I've talked to about all of this have really emphasized that I need to reopen my Patreon. I'm not saying anybody is wrong on this, but it just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I think anyone who's followed me for a while has seen me try and fail to do art full time or, hell, even have a schedule for something, and I've failed every time. I'm so scared of failing people again. How can I ensure that I'm producing things on time, to a standard I am happy with, that anyone willing to support me (in this economy?) would also be happy with? It will probably happen, but I'm just so... Plus, with all honesty, I have a commission backlog that I need to finish first! I'm bad at the business part of this whole thing, I think. I'm a blue-collar labourer in my heart.
That's my update! I wish you all well, please stay safe and take care of yourself and those around you. I'll post again when I'm collecting addresses for the Christmas cards.
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Asexual Reader x TWST Characters: Part One! Rewritten
This is a rewrite of earlier posts I once wrote on a different blog. I am revisiting this and trying to improve on what I wrote and once again doing this for myself and other asexuals who lack the content and kindness others get. Writing this for every fanfic I've read where the character breaks up with the reader for being asexual and doing better.
That said, Everything will be entirely my headcanons and you aren’t required to agree with my interpretations of the characters and story.
Vil Schoenheit
Vil will give you a fond smile, because honestly he’s just happy you are willing to tell him, and that you feel safe enough to do so. He’ll treat you no differently than he has, still being a caring and considerate boyfriend. Since boundaries are the most important thing in any relationship he’s probably going to make sure that he understands your boundaries and make sure that none have changed for you. Or if some boundaries have changed to make sure he understands them and to make mental notes. After all, he knows very well what it’s like to have someone cross boundaries, he absolutely would not want to cross his significant others boundaries and be the source of their discomfort.
Vil has always been one to find different ways to show affection, some more traditional than others. Gifting flowers, brushing your hair, doing each other's nails, greeting you with a kiss to the back of your hand, Taps on the shoulder or wrist to say I love you, holding pinkies, or even pinkie promises. He absolutely cherishes forehead kisses above all else, he’d even lean down for one if requested. He’d find any way to bring a smile to your face because that’s all he really wants, is for you to be happy.
Honestly, I think the longer the relationship goes on, and more specifically as his understanding of asexuality develops. I think Vil slowly comes to the conclusion that all too well describes himself. He comes to enjoy quality time, and other gestures of intimacy that he finds more enriching and cherish worthy. In fact he learns the value of words of affirmation and learns to appreciate them in a new light with his significant other. Because giving sincere compliments and affirmations to someone he cares about deeply feels beautiful and receiving them from the same person ? even more so.
At the end of the day, He’ll always make sure you're comfortable with what he is doing. If you ask him to stop, he’ll listen and stop and make sure you're okay. He mostly just wants someone he can trust and spend his spare time relaxing with. Considering the rest of his time is spent being busy and stressed. So being able to make each other comfortable and spend time resting and relaxing, making each other smile is more than enough for him.
Jamil Viper
Jamil at first might not completely understand, however he is a fantastic listener, so he will let you explain and ask questions to make sure he understands completely. He is very calm and understanding throughout the whole thing. He’ll make sure to ask what is acceptable and what is completely off the table. Regardless of whatever those boundaries may look like he is bothered because at the end of the day he just wants you to be comfortable and happy. To him it's rather simple like that. Because he values your boundaries and your comfort. Much like he wants his significant other to understand and respect his own.
He most certainly shows love in less physical ways, touch isn’t something he is particularly good at. However, he is quite fond of gifting his significant other two things, flowers and food. The flowers are specifically chosen with care, they always have a hidden meaning of their own, and he often doesn’t enjoy cooking for others, for his significant other it is different. He wants to make sure they are well fed and taken care of.
More importantly he is just a sucker for quality time, especially since he is also a busy person. So if you guys are just in the same room spending time together he is very appreciative of that time together. Sometimes that may look like cuddling together and not doing anything for about 30 or 40 minutes. Sometimes that looks like him doing whatever chores he has to get done while talking to you while you do something completely different. Whatever works for the two of you that day or that moment.
Jamil values communication significantly, so i’ll always be communicating what he is doing or what he plans to do, and if you voice your discomfort or disinterest he will absolutely understand and respect that. Especially if you do the same in kind for him when he isn’t comfortable with something. Needless to say he’ll always make sure that the two of you are on the same page.
Floyd Leech
As I once stated before, This to Floyd, Has changed absolutely nothing about your relationship with him. He still gets cuddles? Perfect. He still gets hugs? Even better. He does apologize whenever he does cross a boundary and learns to make up for it and not do it again. He does enjoy physical contact but that doesn’t mean he’s going to cross your boundaries, besides there are different ways to do so. He quite enjoys even the most subtle of touch.
Though, there might be some questions farther down the line that he might have, however that is something he will talk about with his significant other and the two will decide on how you both will handle things moving forward. Because he is considerate about his significant others' wants and thoughts on important and trivial matters. Especially considering how much damage he would create in the hypothetical of someone just being disrespectful towards his significant other, for any reason.
That said, Floyd is more than happy to just spend time with you. That may be pulling you along to pull some prank, go on an adventure of some kind, scare the daylights out of younger students, or maybe just being a cuddle puddle on the floor, either watching something together or talking endlessly about anything and everything. You’d be surprised how philosophical and down to earth Floyd can get sometimes. Oftentimes talks can go for hours and feel very cathartic.
Honestly as long as you enjoy supporting him in whatever he is doing whether that's on the sports team or whatever antics he gets up to he doesn’t mind or care. As long as you are both happy and enjoying life to the fullest. He, far more cares about being able to dance with you under the moonlight and having thought provoking conversation at late hours that ends with you telling him to shut up and go to bed because it's 3 am.
Azul Ashengrotto
The first thing that comes to mind while rewriting this for Azul is that I think he would honestly be relieved. Clears the air for him and removes a lot of self placed expectations from himself. Honestly makes him feel better and helps him relax a little bit in the relationship. Big heart to heart conversation about wants, needs, expectations and boundaries that should leave you both feeling better and more confident with each other.
He will do his best to set aside time to spend time with you, and when he has to cancel plans he often will get you something to make up for it. Not that it’ll solve the problem but he usually does it so he can give it to you in person and spend time with you anyway. Its usually something that you had mentioned needing or wanting or needing a replacement of something. He wants his gifts to be thoughtful, practical and helpful.
Even when it comes to simply cuddling on the couch he’ll make sure you're comfortable and make sure you're okay with where his hands are resting. He enjoys quiet peaceful relaxing time with his significant other. Nothing has to be happening, maybe the radio is on, or the tv. Maybe you're both doing your own things, but just getting to be in each other's presence with no expectation of the other is nice.
Post it note messages. He won't admit how soft he gets when he sees a note you left him. Not to mention he’ll find ways to slip you notes in return. They will always be unapologetically sweet and sappy. Not to mention he’ll find ways to just let you know that he was thinking of you and that he loves and cares about you. Even if it is just a short message saying I love you.
Lilila Vanrouge
Previously I had said Lilia was Asexual, today I say he is still Asexual and very much so polyamorous, No I won’t elaborate on how or why. He is a hopeless romantic by nature and that manifests in many different ways. He will be the most understanding and accommodating and will continue to fall head over heels for you. He’d do many things for those he cares and loves oh so dearly, and you will be able to feel his affections on an emotional level.
Poetry, Love letters, cheesy pickup lines, flowers, cute or thoughtful gifts, he’d even serenade you outside your bedroom window if you let the man. Most of the ways he shows love aren’t very physical to the touch, they are actions of love. Doing laundry for you, or getting you coffee while you're busy. Bringing you something to help you fall asleep on a sleepless night. Telling a story to make you laugh or maybe feel better. He’ll literally sweep you off your feet if you let him.
Consider him inviting you over for afternoon tea on a day off, a harp and piano playing a soft melody as the two of you dance in the gardens peacefully. Honestly he’d probably pull this off at any time of day for as long as it felt magical and enchanting for you. Because at the end of the day he just wants his significant other to feel loved. Ideally the goal for him is for you both to continue to fall in love over and over again.
Cold winter nights will be spent drinking your favorite warm or winter drink of choice, cuddled up together by the fireplace. Lilia softly humming a melody of unknown or forgotten origin. Curled up in more handmade blankets than you can count. This could also apply to cold rainy days.
#twisted wonderland#twst#TWST#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#Asexual reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#jamil viper#Jamil viper x reader#Floyd Leech#floyd leech x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#x reader#x asexual reader#TeaoFics
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HUENINGKAI: “I learned to love myself thanks to MOA”
TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview
2024.11.13
He cleared out his favorite hoodies and learned how to handle Cubase with ease. While many things keep on changing, some things are forever constant: the music, the group, and MOA. They are the true passions of HUENINGKAI, whose confident tone reassures us of his commitment to forever.
You cleared out some of your hoodies and stuffed toys—what you called your “horcruxes.” HUENINGKAI: Well, the hoodies were way too small for me anyway. (laughs) I wanted to try out some new styles, too, so I cleared them out. I decided I needed to ditch the hoodies first and try something prettier, including buying some knit sweaters. I also felt I could do away with my old stuffed dolls and replaced them with some new fluffier ones. It’s hard the first time you get rid of stuff, but I found it gets easier after that.
You’ve made a lot of big changes in different areas. You’ve been keeping up with your exercise, even throughout the ACT: PROMISE world tour, forming the TXT Exercise Team and regularly taking “TXD” [today’s exercise done] photos. (laughs) HUENINGKAI: I always take TXD shots. I share them in our group chat. I started working out to boost my self-esteem since they say it helps, and it definitely helps keep my mind off things when all you can think about is how tiring it is! (laughs) You can’t help but lose weight if you box. It’s the only thing that makes me sweat as much as performing in concert. There’s someone on staff who’s been doing CrossFit for a long time, so I recently started too. My goal was never to bulk up and get these huge muscles in the first place but to have a slim build with lean muscles, so CrossFit seems like a good fit for me. And MOA, you don’t have to worry—I’m not going to overdo it. (laughs)
A lot of MOA were surprised the way you threw the guitar during the performance of “Growing Pain” on the ACT: PROMISE tour. HUENINGKAI: My image sure underwent a transformation. (laughs) I wanted to show how even someone like me, who’s usually so pure and soft, has some rock star inside him. I looked up different ways of capturing the idea of smashing up the stage. I initially thought about breaking the guitar, but I figured throwing it would be better. That was all I did early on in the tour, but by the time we took it to the US, I experimented a lot, throwing the pick and flipping my bangs back later on. I was happy I got to show off a different side of myself through all that.
You’ve always had a knack for playing instruments and like playing them for fun. How do feel now that your YouTube series HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band is over? HUENINGKAI: I love playing instruments and being in a band, so I was thrilled to be able to make it. Just holding an instrument in my hands makes me feel happy, and actually interacting with and jamming with a band felt like a quintessentially youthful experience. The whole thing was fun to shoot. It never felt like work to me. I approached it like I was going to hang out with a school band.
What do you think makes being in a band so uniquely appealing? HUENINGKAI: I think it comes down to the eye contact you make while playing together. I think chemistry’s the most important part of a band, and when you’re looking each other the eye and having a good time together, you feel fully united. I feel like rock has the power to make unforgettable memories for both the band playing and their audience. I heard MOA saying they’re interested in playing in bands now or want to get back into learning an instrument. HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band was a huge motivation for me, and it makes me happy thinking it planted the seeds for some great dreams among MOA. I hope they challenge themselves to pursue whatever they want and achieve their goals, whether that’s playing in a band or something else. Just the act of trying something new takes a lot of courage, and if they build up some experience, they can truly enjoy their youth.
What form did that sense of youthfulness take on when you were making the show? HUENINGKAI: It’s the kind of youthful experience you can only experience during your university years, full of excitement, sorrow, and happiness all mixed together. The song “Kitto Zutto” is actually supposed to be about how I felt filming the Yonsei University episode of HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band. I seem to remember working on it between filming episodes two and three. I tried to make the chord progression feel both bright and also have a refreshing, youthful vibe. The very first thing I made was the piano track, but it felt a bit bland, so I turned up the BPM and then it sounded great! The funny thing was that I tried to play at that higher BPM but my fingers couldn’t keep up. (laughs) Since it would’ve been a little bland with just the piano, I felt like it’d be nice to have a catchy melody, so I had a guitar riff repeat from the intro onward. That’s the main highlight of “Kitto Zutto.” The drums gradually build up the sound and create a sense of flow.
How do you think it compares to the first song you produced, “Dear Sputnik”? HUENINGKAI: I’ve grown so much since then. When I was working on “Dear Sputnik,” I didn’t know how to use Cubase, but I used it to make the song this time. It was easy and convenient once I got the hang of it and got better as I used it more and more. Actually, for “Dear Sputnik,” I created the basic structure, but I got a lot of help from other people since it was less than two years since I debuted. I really wanted to contribute a greater share after that, and I did contribute significantly more to “Kitto Zutto.” It’s the first on a path of hard work towards being able to make a song I can truly call my own.
When you had just debuted and you were on Section TV, you said, “Ever since I was a trainee, my one goal has been to make and perform songs that can move people.” To what degree have you achieved your goal? HUENINGKAI: With “Dear Sputnik,” 30%—“Kitto Zutto,” 60%. Right from when I was first writing “Kitto Zutto,” I was thinking about how fun it would be to sing it with MOA in concert. Nothing makes me feel more fulfilled than when I see MOA enjoying a song I produced. When I performed those songs in concert, I went around in front of the audience on the moving stage and could see MOA up close and personal. They all looked so happy. I’m glad I made these songs that MOA can really get into singing along with and that we can touch their hearts with. I think singing them together gives them their final touches. I want to keep making and performing songs that everyone will love and can make them feel happy when they listen to them.
In many ways, the past year has been an excellent showcase of how you’ve grown musically. You really got people talking when you were on Lee Mujin Service and when you performed “BETELGEUSE” on the Nippon TV show THE MUSIC DAY. HUENINGKAI: I got lots of messages from people I know. (laughs) It’s the first time so many people have reached out to me like that. I was grateful but there was something indescribable about it because I feel like I’m still in the process of finding my own voice. I’ve tried singing with something more like rock vocals, and even though I don’t have difficulty hitting high notes, I’ve been thinking carefully about how to make them sound even better. I’d like to find vocals that are a little more unique to me. Obviously being a good singer is important, but I feel like sometimes that individuality is even more important.
You’ve always been a kind person, but you seem pretty strict with yourself. HUENINGKAI: Only when I feel like I’ve perfected a skill can I say that I’ve truly made it mine. I’m sort of a worrier so I practice on my own outside normal rehearsal time. Our new single “Over The Moon” is hard. (laughs) My feeling is, if you want to dance well during live shows, it starts with singing perfectly before you ever even stand up. And when I’m performing onstage, I just think, Just do it like we practiced. I might just end up making mistakes if I try to go beyond that.
I guess “Over The Moon” would’ve been hard since it’s more about making it feel romantic than unfolding a clear sense of progression. HUENINGKAI: It’s not a sad song, but it doesn’t exactly feel cheerful either, so I was aiming for a kind of longing middle ground. I start out singing softly to MOA, almost like a whisper, then add in a touch more of that longing in the chorus. I see “Over The Moon” as me removing the gravelly vocals from “0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You)” featuring Seori and keeping it light.
When watching “Over The Moon,” it reminded me of “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away).” HUENINGKAI: Exactly! It’s got the same ear-tapping move on the line “whisper me my name” as in “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away),” so I ended up watching our old performances for the first time in a while. My image back with “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away)” was meant to evoke the excitement of school days, while in “Over The Moon,” I tried to convey something a little more mature, like a university student.
You also came across as mature the way you led the older members in the 144th episode of TO DO X TXT, “Abandoned Stars,” even though you’re the youngest in the group. HUENINGKAI: That’s probably the most they’ve ever needed me. (laughs) It was scary at first, but I helped them because I felt like they wouldn’t even be able to go in if it weren’t for me. And anyway, it was less scary the second time around. I guess it’s because I’m a levelheaded person. They were clinging to me so desperately I thought my clothes would come off. (laughs) That was a first. But on the inside I was actually kind of glad and thinking about how much they need me.
You also paid YEONJUN a visit when he was shooting the music video for “GGUM.” HUENINGKAI: YEONJUN was the first one of us to do a solo project, and since I wanted to show my support and express my gratitude anyway, I brought some dakgangjeong we could eat together. (laughs) But most of all, I really wanted to learn from him. The stage presence he had as he sang from start to finish all by himself, and watching how naturally he ad-libbed towards the end, was all pretty amazing. (laughs) His solo was a good experience for us, too.
You’ve always emphasized in interviews how you want to be dependable for the rest of the group. What does trustworthiness mean to you? HUENINGKAI: Teamwork. The greater the trust between us, the stronger our group becomes. As a member of a kind of team, it’s always my hope that the other members can continuously rely on me. That’s what being a team is, after all.
And honesty is crucial for mutual trust, of course. In an interview with W Korea, when asked what it takes for a group to last a long time, you said, “Teamwork. Being open with each other about feelings.” HUENINGKAI: I actually never used to talk much about my feelings. I thought things would just work out over time, but now I talk things over with the people I’m close to, like the other members, my family, and the protocol team, no matter what it is. I really listen to their feedback, too. It just feels better that way. But it’s not at all easy to open up about what you’re feeling inside, of course. You can never just be like that from day one. So I just started slowly, and now I’m more open than I was last year.
You posted a letter on weverse for the fifth anniversary of your debut, and in it you talked about how you’ve always been careful to hide your feelings away because you didn’t like to talk about them. What made you decide to open up to MOA? HUENINGKAI: I never wanted to let MOA know when I was having a hard time. I always wanted to show them the good sides only. But the longer we were together, the closer we became, and I realized that also talking about those things was the right way to further develop the relationship. That’s why I was honest and open in what I wrote on weverse on March 4. I resolved to be more honest and open from then on.
It takes a lot of courage to be open like that. How did you find it in you to find the courage? HUENINGKAI: It’s all thanks to MOA’s love. Every time MOA opens up through their fan letters or in person, I can sense their love. The phrase, “my youth is TOMORROW X TOGETHER,” is beautiful, and hearing, “I’ll love you completely for who you are, no matter what—I love you so much,” absolutely fills me with strength. All these people around me were showing me love, but I felt like I didn’t love myself. I learned to love myself thanks to MOA.
It’s clear that you have an immense amount of love toward MOA, too, like when you said, “It may have been hard doing what it took to debut, but I could do it all again 100 times if it meant I could be with MOA.” HUENINGKAI: I wanted to show them just how much I love them. There were a lot of times I felt like giving up before I debuted, but MOA helped me forget all about it. I know what it means to find happiness as an idol thanks to them. I think MOA is what’s made TOMORROW X TOGETHER whole.
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The books and the shows aren't the same thing and?? That's okay?? It doesn't have to be??
Some of the artists haven't even seen the show yet, and maybe won't 🤷♀️ I know I've seen like. The 1st episode and that's it lol. And I really enjoyed it and I think it's really fun
But people tend to separate book fandoms from in screen fandoms, to an extent, at least, bc there ARE differences, and THATS OKAY
They are very connected but they are not the same and I don't understand why people find that so hard to accept?? Like. Genuinely I'm so confused lol
Like if someone was being disrespectful, or trying to whitewash Leah or something horrid then like. Defend her!!! (Do try to be polite tho bc people can and often do change, and they know what they have been taught until they learn more- like for example, a few years ago I had no idea ab anything lgtbq and I peob would have gotten myself canceled bc I had. No idea. Ab any of it. And despite having best intentions in heart i totally would have offended someone, and that would have crushed me, because *i didnt know*. I never would have hurt anyone on purpose, i just didnt realize what COULD hurt others on that specific topic, much less why. But now I identify with it and am learning new things ab jt every day and etc. And that's a super touchy topic for a lot of people and for good reason too! Just try to be kind first, then if they are jerks u can be a jerk back lol. Just give peopke a chnace to get better- and then PLEASE dont hold the past against them ubless they very clearly havent changed mk please please please let people grow and change and get better dont crush them before they can) anti Leah trash is. That. Trash
But why would you attack book Annabeth, just for existing? She was my childhood, and I identified a lot with her as I grew up. And guess what! I also identified with Hazel, and I do so even more now! No matter what race she will be casted as, I'm still going to imagine BOOK Hazel the way I always did. Doesn't mean I won't adore her actress, or appreciate art of the girl playing her role! But would you call me racist for drawing her as African American if her actress, was, say, Asian American? Or drawing Leo as Latino instead of Somoan? Because to me, u less I am being a jerk about it, all I'm doing is drawing the book instead of the show. Idk I'm too sleep deprived to put my thoughts into coherent words lol
I love the posts, where it's like, book Annabeth and show Annabeth holding hands. Those posts are my favorite, both because they are freaking adorable, but also. Because it's equal
They are different aspects of the same person
And
Thats
Okay
You know???
I quite literally grew up reading pjo. I read it at least once every year since I learned HOW to read, *partially on pjo*, until late middle school. I was raised on book Annabeth.
Show Annabeth is new and exciting and adorable and I'm so happy for it and I am very excited for all the people being introduced to it!!!!!!!! However, when I'm writing book pjo, I'm not swaping it out for show scenes, bc they are, in fact, different. Which, again, NOT A BAD THING. And you know what? When people from the show fandom write their scenes, they aren't going to be thinking ab the book scenes, and THATS OKAY TOO!!! And I could care less how my readers saw my characters when the read the story. I write them the way I imagine them, but it's their job as the reader to say 'no, actually :P' and swap out the appearance for one they liked better.
I did that plenty often as a kid, and i donf regeret it.
Which, ironically enough, was why my book Percy was blond until ab 6th grads XD I mixed up Luke and Percy's hair description ONCE and just. Never questioned it, though all the rereads, or looking at the covers of the books 💀 you can imagine my shock when I joined the fandom and found out Percy had black hair, instead of sandy hair like, you know, S A N D, like poseidon!!! And now show Percy is blond XD
That just proves people can imagine things how they want and jts okay- especially bc maybe, in an au, they're rifht!!! (Au being show Percy to me)
Anyways I lost my train of thought and it's almost 12 here lolll I hope I didn't say anything ill be embarrassed by come tomorrow~
Good night world :3
Hi guys, wanted to discuss something going on for a while now. What the hell is wrong with pjotwt? Like...whats wrong with this people? Do you see what they say? What they are even trying to do?
First of all, let me start by speaking about the cast. They are all wonderful children, Leah especially! She is doing an amazing job as Annabeth. But book Annabeth still exists yk? She is and she is literally white. It is not racist. But denying about a character being white in the books, even spreading hate like this...is racist. There are people out there related with Annabeth for years. People love her, every version, maybe book more maybe even the movie. How can you disrespect her like this? And most importantly, how can they attack an artist like this, with an art being so beautiful. What they are trying to do is not protecting Leah, it is spreading hate. It is awful. Making this fandom toxic, so so much.
Them trying to erase book Annabeth because she is white, trying to cover her by painting on her, shaming artists, calling people that loves her racist...What do we do about this in pjo fandom? This fandom used to be so beautiful, but now. This people are not part of the fandom in my eyes, because real fans, would respect every version of the characters, love them with their anything, even flaws. They would protect this characters because they love them, so much. And not to mention this characters are the ones Rick wrote 20 years ago, they were with us for so long.
What do tumblr think about this I wonder? Since pjo fandom is pretty active here :3
#is it so hard to just like love them all? i consider all versions of the pjo characters canon. who says that there only has to be one canon?#ramblings with regina#thd show and the books are dif and thags how its SUPPOSED TK BE#ITS OKAY#and so are everones interpretations :÷#let them coexhsist as they shoulddddd#im not giving up my book annie for show and- OR VICE VERSA#THEY ARE TBE WAY THEY ARE MEANT TO BE#LOVS THEM FHEG ARE AMAZING AND BEAUFIFUL#and so are everyones interperetaions :3#i enjoy seeing posts that play around with dif nationalities dor all of the characters#anyways cutting off b4 i ramble again gn~
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Introducing myself!
I've gained quite a few followers after the Leliana accidentally sucking water through her nose video blew up, so I figured I'd introduce myself formally to the newcomers!
My name is Laura, though I prefer to be called Snek online
Been keeping reptiles for 11, almost 12, years now.
Monogamous demisexual, been happily married for 11 years. She/her pronouns, cis woman
Studied in Herpetology, always looking to learn new things and improve my animals lives
I'm the type of person who, when I realize I'm wrong about something, will admit it and do my best to do better.
Reptiles in general are a very large part of my life, and I believe that because they didn't choose to be in captivity, we chose to have them, that it's our duty to give them the best, most enriched life possible.
I work in an automotive shop as a tech, doing oil changes and changing tires.
In my off time when I'm not interacting with my pets, I play video games, draw, make dice, 3d print, and sometimes sculpt.
I try to be as friendly as I can, but we all have our limits ofc. If I find someone harassing me, and its unfounded, I use the block button freely.
I've been on tumblr since 2013, and have posted regularly since then.
Uhhh. Yeah I think that's the gist of it lol.
But welcome to my blog! :)
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Largely for reference, the conversations Jaheira's kids have with each other. Rion talks to Fig and Tate, Jord talks to Jhessem (and the plants); there's four bits of dialogue each.
Rion and Fig
"Poor dummy. Look at its arms - it just wants a hug."
"That's why it keeps losing. Dummy."
-
"Am I supposed to pretend that sword you're swinging wasn't stolen from my room?"
"Wrong. It's completely different."
"Funny. Because it looks just like the one I stole from mum when I was your age."
-
"Good. But you'll need to learn more than just the Harper forms."
"Is that why they threw you out? Because you didn't like their forms?"
"They didn't throw me out. I left. There was just… more to be learned elsewhere."
"Like the Flaming Fist?"
"No, now they threw me out."
-
"When can I move on to a real sword?"
"Oh, stop sulking. I had to teach myself in secret when I started. Mum didn't want to 'force me into the same life'."
"When did she change her mind?"
"About the third time I knocked her on her arse."
-
Rion and Tate
"Hey. You alright up here?"
"Yeah. I'll come down soon. Sorry."
"Don't need you to be sorry. Just checking that you're all right."
-
"You going to eat with us today?"
"I'm not… I'm not hungry. Really."
"Ah. Well, I could use a hand with the washing up - last time I let Fig do it, she blunted my best knife slaying 'soap-mephits'."
"Heh. All right."
-
"Would you like a book? I can have Jhessem drop one up. Maybe she'll even read it with you."
"Jhess…? Eh, no. That's all right. I'm all right."
"What if I tell her not to do the goblin voice?"
"I guess… that would be okay."
-
"You don't need to watch the door, you know. No one's getting in that we don't want to."
"They don't need to get past the door. They could just b-board it up and burn the place."
"True, I suppose. But you have something out there that you didn't, in your last house."
"…Fig."
"Fig."
Jord and Jhessem
"Bootprints on the tabletop. You haven't been poking around the top shelves again - have you, Jhessem?"
"Of course not. Her diaries are off-limits."
"And written in code too, I'm afraid."
"I know. It's not a very good code."
-
"Well, what are we reading now? More Alaundo?"
"No. I'm looking for any histories about this Absolute."
"I wouldn't bother. It's a new god - unknowable and mysterious."
"It's just another cult. And cults are common as muck."
"Huh. So sayeth the wise Jhessem."
-
"Try that hand-bill on fungal poultices. We might be tending the injured here before long."
"Perhaps you should brush up on the herb-lore yourself, Jord. Mother's vines are looking a little weedy."
"Why are the quiet ones always the cruellest?"
-
"That reminds me. I'm working on our family tree - I've already placed Rion. You're next."
"Hah. Well, I'm afraid you won't find us dangling from any of the same branches, sproutling."
"So we'll graft on another. A druid should know how to do that, shouldn't he?"
"I… suppose he should, at that."
Jord to plants
"You three have been just guzzling the water recently. Save some for the others, all right?"
"Coming along nicely there, Floki. Good, strong roots."
"Those leaves are a little darker than I'd like, Felicis. Bad soil? Hm. Don't tell mother…"
"Oh, come on, Ferdinand, I just trimmed you."
-
Rion and Jord are definitely trying their best to be big siblings! Rion is very gentle with Tate (who, from that last dialogue, seems to have experienced some trauma before being adopted by Jaheira - there's a letter that suggests his biological parents were amongst the first taken by the cult), Jhessem is a character, Jord and his plants are adorable, and Rion and Fig are very much cut from the same cloth.
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I'm going to get myself an onslaught of pushback that I in no way have time to deal with this week for making the points I'm about to make, but here goes. (I also may learn some new information from some of you, which would be good.)
Argumate's point, as a conditional statement, is 100% correct. I would also say the various Republican proposals of the past three years are, in my opinion, varying levels of reprehensible and idiotic in how poorly they're defined/enforceable. But, unless there are specific ideas on the table that for some reason I haven't heard of despite being on Tumblr and progressive social media bubbles all this time, the implication that Republicans are attacking the right to present as one pleases and choose one's name, even the right of adults to choose to medically transition, is suspect. And distorting that side's political behavior seems counterproductive.
Everything, first of all, seems to revolve around "protecting" the children rather than restricting the rights of adults.
There's clearly been a push to ban drag shows -- that is, a certain kind of performance art based around people cross-dressing (often in a sexualized way) in places where children could be exposed to it: schools, it seems sometimes public areas as well. This seems to have arisen in direct response to a quite novel trend of schools going out of their ways to show children this art when schools re-opened after COVID, not as a direct backtracking of civil rights that they were okay with ten years ago (even if in effect it is a sort of walking back of rights). For the record, I think banning drag shows in public sucks, and if I had my own kid, I would want them to be exposed to a "drag queen story hour" or two in school. But what has been happening there is a far cry from disallowing people from going about their own business cross-dressing or otherwise presenting as a given gender.
Where changing names is concerned, I can only imagine posts above this are alluding to Ted Cruz's proposal to make it impossible to fire someone for deadnaming or using a pronoun different from the referent's biological sex. (The naming thing would depend on the person's legal name; of course if they transitioned and changed their name legally -- which I realize may present its own slowness and difficulties -- there would presumably be no problem.) This seems like one of the weirder, harder-to-enforce hypothetical laws (how would one even prove that someone's pronoun doesn't correspond to their genitalia??), but it's one of those People Resent Being Forced To Utter Things They Feel Are Lies issues in the form of protecting someone from being fired for not making those utterances. I don't support it and hope it never becomes law, but characterizing it as "losing one's right to choose one's name" seems disingenuous.
Banning transition surgery and other medicine is clearly a huge thing right now but completely restricted to minors -- I think the closest I've heard to proposals for banning it for adults is (1) stretching the concept of "minor" here to age 25 due to questionable "mature brain" ideas, and (2) some bill in Missouri requiring six months of therapy before getting the go-ahead for medical treatment. It seems not unreasonable to imagine that if Republicans manage to get enough bans through for minors (by far the lower-hanging fruit, by far more popular among Americans) and are feeling sufficiently confident while running rampant, some will try to ban stuff for adults too, and there's the whole issue of which forms of gender medicine get provided by insurance and so on. I totally get a trans adult not being willing to live in a red state. At present the issue seems to be for minors, though, and again, while a rollback (one that was already happening in most of Europe I believe), it's mainly in response to something -- namely, an abrupt spike by more than an order of magnitude in minors seeking gender medicine.
I don't call for moderate stances on these issues but for some care and moderation on how we characterize them, especially at a moment when trans people are upending their lives to flee the country. I don't see how we're going to get out of this culture war mess with trans issues without engaging with what each side is actually doing (obviously I've believed the same about every type of current issue but this one has gotten especially out of control).
The state of gay rights in the early aughts was not good; criminal penalties for homosexuality were rarely enforced but were on the books in many places, there was no right to marriage, and the morality of homosexuality was hotly contested in public. Big culture war issue. In that environment, where substantive protections were lacking, Democrats could be tepid on gay rights without actively giving anything up—if, like Obama in 2008, you didn’t support gay marriage, you could still be seen (correctly) as advocating for an overall better situation for gay people, or at least one that was no worse, in contrast to your right wing opponents.
Trans rights are not in the same position. Before the big trans rights backlash started, access to gender affirming care was pretty widespread, was everywhere legal, and was a matter for private concern only. Trans people could play in school sports subject to whatever their league’s rules were, and the idea of trying to make it illegal to cross dress in public was absurd. The conservative position since has become one of an explicit rollback of rights: revoke access to gender affirming care, create new criminal sanctions to punish trans people, make it illegal for them to participate in school sports, etc.
In that environment, tacking to the right on trans issues means deciding which elements of trans rights you are willing to concede to this project of actually rolling back trans rights. The only thing comparable from the gay rights fight is maybe state constitutional amendments to ban gay marriage, or DOMA—all of which were, IIRC, passed despite gay marriage not being legal in affected jurisdictions. Their enactment, while deplorable, had no material negative affect; gay people already couldn’t get married.
And that this project of rolling back trans rights is not a particular fetish of the religious right is more worrying. Plenty of liberals and liberal institutions are pretty transphobic. Britain has been working to export its flavor of (Moderate, Sensible, Secular) transphobia to other countries in Europe and the Anglosphere. Transphobes winning these fights isn’t a status quo situation—it’s a sharp increase in repression of trans people.
In light of that, I regard calls to “moderate” on trans issues with at best scorn. I think the party of civil rights condoning the rollback of citizens’ civil rights is really bad for its brand, won’t win it more votes, and may sufficiently alienate members of the base—who are invested in the party specifically because of its historic support for civil rights—that they simply don’t bother to show up in elections.
#trans issues#american politics#will def regret writing this unless it gets me more informed#if this comes across to you as some sort of concern trolling#i don't entirely blame you
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Did you listen to the space dome joined on twitter last night? https://x.com/Maileen_T/status/1855620833315889656
Anon. May your pillow be always cool and your favorite snack always near. Thank you for telling me, what! I'm actually not really on twitter, I mostly stalk the man's account, so there was a real chance I would have never found this.
This man. Lurks like no one in the world. He found this random space and was like yeah sure. Let me join. And he talked in English the whole time!!! He is so sweet and the people doing the space too, the entire first bit is basically him interviewing them. He was also drunk btw (He entered around 52:30 if anyone wants to listen)
Some highlights here because I want to save them for myself :
Under the cut because I went overboard as I often do but in my defense it was 2 hours and a half of yapping
Apparently, Thai people talk better English when they are drunk. Who knew.
They had a whole convo about the woes of translating and how bad Google Translate is, specially with Thai
He loves the show so much and is so thankful that people like it 🥺
He hopes to work with the guys again
Tay used to have a big difficulty with crying and during the PP workshops they worked through that because Peach was going to be crying a lot (And geez, did that fucking pay off, holy shit)
Someone finally asked why as a comedy it makes all of us cry so much and his answer was “Well you laugh until you cry 🥁”
Someone said that they were expecting a happy ending, and he said that the show being about ghosts, it is about goodbyes and learning how to live in the present and moving on
“Anything can happen in Peaceful Property, and some people might say it's a bad ending but to me, it's just life guys” (he fully did an evil laugh I swear)
“It's goodbye, technically a bad ending? Maybe it's like a happy goodbye”
It's a good ending For him
“Are you going to kill Home” “I have no comment”
Normally he doesn't use Twitter at all, but he knew how big Polca was and wanted to interact with everyone, but after this he is going to basically quit twitter because it's not that good for him. But he is going to miss everyone 🥺
This man threw Tay and New under the bus so hard:
He really said, “They always have like some kind of hot chemistry. I don't know why, but I can not like stop them” He wanted the show to be as relaxed and normal as possible and their chemistry is their normal 🤷🏽 what can you do.
He said to bring tissues (The fear is real)
They had to cut a lot of dialogue because of time, but also to make the pacing better. But also because some ideas were too expensive
The biggest change was of Home's car crash (he said the words break up, and they teased him hard):
“If you could change something in the series, would you, and what would it be?” “How about Peaceful Property but it is a BL” (This asshole)
But being serious, he wouldn't change anything. They went through a lot of drafts, and he really loves what they ended up with
“I feel like when I speak in English, I sound smart” (Same. You think I sound weird in English, I'm worse in Spanish for some reason)
He had a hard time with The Gifted for different reasons, and that's why he went to do advertisement and commercial work afterward. After some years he stopped and wondered why he was doing this, and he realized that what he really wants to be is a storyteller and tell stories that would touch people
They asked for funny moments and he said this:
He doesn't like seeing people cry. Ironic
The hardest one was with Tay, because he worried about him
There wasn't a lot of improv, but in episode 8 during the scene where Home is dying, he didn't want Tay to focus on the script. So he just gave him one line, and the others are all things that he came up with during the scene. For example, “Who is going to play with my sister” is such a good line that Tay came up with himself (What the fuck Tay)
His first impressions of them: Tay talked a lot and New focused on 20 things at the same time
But he has grown to see they care a lot, sometimes they don't show it but you feel it, and they are also really hardworking each in their own way
They also went to university at the same time, and they are very close in age (he is the same age as New) so they get along really well, and they aren't afraid of speaking up if they have something in their mind (or sometimes gossip really loudly next to him to subtly let him know)
Tay was really popular in Uni, apparently. Dome used to see the both of them around, but he never talked to them.
They said destiny brought Taynew to him, but he said it was more like karma
Him and Mook used to bet who was going to win when they were bickering (New usually won)
He apologized for the bts videos being too short because the shoot tended to be very chaotic and Dome asked the people in charge of filming the videos to give the actors a rest because he felt it was too overwhelming for them sometimes
During COVID he spent like 6 months where every afternoon he had a beer with Junior and played video games because they didn't have work
Peach was originally a bartender!
The family restaurant is in the map of properties, and he did a bit of promo for it:
He loves all the ghost backstories, but the one that hit him the most was Phoom and Vicha
He grew up watching a lot of American TV shows, like Glee (???? of all the shows. Ryan Murphy leave me the fuck alone challenge?)
Peaceful Property was the working title actually, and they came up with the thai name after. He came up with a bunch of names and the people at gmmtv picked the On sale one.
“Peaceful property is not that peaceful, right? But it's peaceful in its heart”
Home does come from his name
Peach-Home doing the dance in episode 7 was not originally in the script, but he threw it in there for the Polcas (thanks P'Dome) because he knew people would like to see them do a bit of traditional dance
He recommended Beef and Baby Reindeer and an anime called Made in Abyss
Oh he really liked Ted Lasso, it says that he felt like the show made him a better person for sure (I did suspect from his birthday message. A man of taste)
He has never had ghost experiences that he remembers, but he said that his mom was scared once because once when he was little he was playing with a “boy” and there was no one there
While filming episode 7, after Jan read the little poem thing the wind came out at the perfect moment, and they got the shot. He said it was a little bit of magic
If he did Beef with Thai actors he would cast Tay because when he is angry he is very charming. (Valid. But I think that is just him always)
When people got jokingly mad at him he thought people were seriously angry at him (Sorry P'Dome, i swear it's with love)
At first he didn't feel like Tay and Jan were that similar, but while filming the show he said that Jan is the only one that can listen to Tay talk nonstop without complaining, and that they tend to laugh at the same things and have the same smile (thanks P'Tha for making them siblings)
He is glad that the 4 of them got even closer and became a little family in real life too
THERE IS A FINAL VIDEO EDIT FROM DOME EVERYONE CHEER!!!!!! He already finished it!
(Also he picked Welcome to my life for the Home edit because it was one of his favorite songs when he was in school. 👉🏽 Emo kid fucking detected. We will not be discussing how that was also my favorite song when I entered high school)
And that was the rough “summary” of the space that no one asked for. If you read all that, have a cookie.
#dome jarupat#peaceful property#peaceful property on sale#Anon the fact that you thought of me when you saw this... genuinely touched#Cant believe the guys are older than him but also i can#Honestly even if i hate the ending. Dome won me over dude. he can have the same grace i was ready to give we are#its been such a fun experience#and thats what matters to me tbh (i will cry if the ending is sad tho i will curse him a little bit)#ask#anon
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It is so hard to keep friends bc I keep changing and changing and changing and they each drop off at a certain period but I am still me :(
#‘changing’ as in i learn something new about myself#create new boundaries for myself#learning to love myself#my best friends stop being my friend at all bc they cant just talk to me about what’s bothering them#this year has been such a transitional period of my life and it’s like these people expect and want me to stay the same#but if I stayed the same I would be so endlessly sad with the world#I am thankful for the good friends I have now and my partner who genuinely loves and supports and considers me#but I am still learning to get over the insecurity that these other bitches have given me bc they cant stand to see a woman winning#I am so angry that I put my trust in some of these people and the minute I am not convenient they just leave#or ghost or could not give a fuck to just say hi
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FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FSNGSANGDSCNGSDGHHFCBNJDDCBJKKCZDCVBBHHDDBKKFFVJ
#i literally didn't mean for this to happen it started as 'maybe if i start drawing canines mouth structure will get easier'#and well apparently canines are a very slippery slope to fangs#and well as it turns out i learned something new about myself and that's that apparently i think fangs are supremely sexy#and well i accidentally gave sorey fangs and it permanently changed my brain chemistry and i can't stop#lord help me i'm going insane#not even kidding drawing fangs is so fun too i'm going crazy about it now that i've done it im not sure i can draw teeth normally again#wyvern art tag#tales of#tales of zestiria#sorey#ask to tag
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Ashamed, exhausted, food repulsed. Wish my gf was here so at least I could be held through the agony.
#recovery#I'm trying to be kind to myself#I'm almost certain I have bpd at this point#but I need to talk to my therapist about it#and maybe need a meds adjustment#regardless I'm gonna ask about DBT#and if we can work through some of the dbt skills workbook together#now that I have a serious partner again#it's waaay too easy for me to backslide into unhealthy coping mechanisms when I'm triggered#found out the hard way last night#but today is a new day#and I can always choose to be proactive about my health going forward#I want to be a good boyfriend#but I also owe it to myself to maintain a healthy relationship#something I never got the chance to really learn or practice#but this time I will#this time it can be different#I can grow I can change I can do the work#but today I will curl up in a ball and rest
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Boy oh boy am I so glad I use my online space how I want and have the wherewithal to not cave into guilt trippy posts about how you should always all day every day 24/7 subject yourself to the horror of the world wide news and also make your entire blog about it
#Jean mumbles#Anytime I do see something cross my dash about the humanitarian crises happening in the world#I see it. And I go. Holy fuck. That is awful. I'll do what I can in my own time and in my own way to try and help with that#Rather than reblogging it with 10 (minimum) guilt trips about how anyone who doesn't reblog it or share my exact views is scum#I come here to be educated and look at as many sides to arguments as I can#And then I make my own conclusion#And usually keep that conclusion to myself#Because this is a place on the internet for me to sit down and undo my belt and tie and buttons on my shirt and just#Sigh#And relax#And there's nothing wrong with that#Hey. Hey you. Internet stranger who is reading this.#There is nothing wrong with doing that with YOUR space either#You are not mandated to subject yourself to trauma and burnout in order to make yourself feel better about the travesties going on#Learn about what's happening from a trusted news source#Also learn about what's happening from untrusty news sources#Keep in mind what is happening but don't use it as a bludgeon against you#You didn't hit the button that sent the missiles. You didn't miss your chance at being the one to stop another violation of human rights.#You didn't do that. You can try to help make a better change. But you weren't the one to cause it#Other people did it#A big part of activism is fixing problems that were caused by other people. Past and present.#Okay? Okay#Now go have fun
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dont feel guilt about change. the art made before the changes will still be there, its not a waste, think of it like a picture of you then, or now, and look back and see how much youve changed. oh and you can always go back on the new design thing of course so theres that too. i hope u feel good and okay about it :}
frames this ask in my brain anon your so right
the old design is still really important to me but if each design is who i was then ive been slowly looping back to a happier version of me that i thought died but diffrent in a good way realizing that makes me feel alot better about likeing it thank you!!! ^^
#putting you in the bunch of exclamation points folder#pup talks#think that part of my problem is that my school had art classes but they taught me that everything HAS TO be consistant#so i learned to be scared of trying something new#i think ill keep my idea of things being swappable and optional based on what i feel like drawing myself as#might be harder to freak myself out if inconsistency and change is built into the charater and i can do silly things with it :3#rambling but thank u again anon i would have suffered so much trying to decide between myself or other peoples convinionce#this whole thing started because i was thinking about my chartaer in a smp and found a way to cheat around consistency i#bet that i can do it again >:3#im always telling people that they dont have to be consistant with my design i should get to do that to
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retook the bdsm test and the more things change (****** percent more than doubling from 31 to 64) the more things stay the same (********** percent stay at 97)
#this was prompted by an awakening i had but i cannot for the life of me remember if it was in real life or a dream#so the first change miiiiiiight have been due to the fact that ive been thinking about it a lot#or it might be that i learned something new about myself#ray.txt#censoring some things because i do have irl friends that follow me on here who dont need to know that information 💕💕
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i really do love practicing 🎻
#i'm in music school so now it's a much more significant source of my already very significant fears#but practicing only feels stressful when i don't do it enough and i'm trying to 'catch up'#some weeks fly past me like hurricanes and i get to my lesson and i can't say i've made any progress and that fucks me up#and i don't think that's ever going away- like i'll always have weeks like that cuz everyone has bad days and bad weeks#from time to time#but when i plan correctly (which is becoming more and more the norm for me) my practicing is something im really proud of :)#i have a System. i didn't do very well before i had it and i would die without it now.#i get excited about learning! i get excited having realizations abt things to change or work on when i practice!#it feels experimenty a lot of the time and i like it!!!#i have a lot of catching up to do in terms of comparing myself to others but i'm not here for them i'm here for me#i will do my best and i will learn from others of course but my goals are to make my Me better first and worry abt other people later#i won't lose sight of that#<- and when it doesn't feel experimenty it can be calming to just be like okay ik what i need to do now just. Practice. Repeat.#i mean music is a fucking rollercoaster and sometimes you are at the bottom and i hate that but it comes w the territory#sometimes you're just Stuck but you do get past it and in those moments i just try to think back to previous times ive felt like that#ive felt horribly shitty before and gotten through it and come out the other side slightly better!#life is like that i think#anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician 🙄 nothing new over here hehe
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