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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: Satellite City

So we all know Nostalgia Critic’s review of The Wall, right? I even did a foul-mouthed review of it a while ago, one that had me so legitimately angry I posted it early under the Michael in the Mainstream label. One criticism in particular I had was the nature of the sequence parodying “The Trial,” in which what I thought were a bunch of weird furry OCs made for the video began to espouse poor criticisms and opinions of the film.

As it turns out… this was not the case. Those creatures are the creations of Sam Fennah, and are the stars of his series Satellite City. This review, while reviewing something a little too off the beaten path for me to necessarily call “mainstream,” is one I wanted to approach in a respectful manner as an apology for jumping the gun and being far too harsh on these creations, though this could have been avoided entirely if Doug Walker had made it more clear what, exactly, the cameo was. Regardless, the cameo did its job, and got me interested, and I will say that the series does show a lot of promise. It’s not over, nor is the first bit of the overarching story even complete, so think of this as my initial thoughts on what has been shown so far.

The show has a simple premise – Sam Fennah plays Sullivan, a very strange man who lives in a manor in rural England that is host to a crazy cast of alien refugees called Kivouachians. Hijinks frequently ensue as they go about their daily lives, though here “hijinks” means “Lucy Lacemaker decides to decapitate someone and recline on their headless corpse.” It’s certainly not a show for those with clean senses of humor, that’s for sure. Also, I know I don’t usually do summaries anymore, but I think this show needs it due to its relative obscurity.

It’s interesting watching through the show from when it began a couple years ago to today; you can see the animation on all of the aliens improving, as well as the voice acting. I have to say a lot of the animation in the earlier episodes was a bit stiff and unpolished, though certainly not bad, with it always being remarkable work for a small nonprofit indie project like this. On the other hand, the voice acting tended to be awkward and poorly done. Lucy especially had a pretty weak voice until much later, I believe around the 2018 episodes, when Rikki Leigh Tiffurelli took over and gave her the best voice to date. In the more recent episodes, though, the voice acting is much improved in general; frankly I find it hard to give too much flak to indie internet shows for having weak voice acting early on. I mean, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series had some seriously weird delivery and voice acting for a while, with things only really kicking into high gear in the second season (in particular once Marik’s voice settled into what we all know and love). What I’m trying to say is that the series has found a nice place to settle into in terms of production quality, I feel, though of course seeing it improve would be great.

There is a bit of an overarching plot at the moment, involving the sinister Grand Voice Locket returning and some political strife among the aliens, all while Sullivan kind of just does his thing and curses up a storm. There also seems to be some interesting character stuff being built up with the genetically modified squirrel Hyzenthlay, but as of yet no character arcs have really culminated into anything yet, which is fine, no need to rush into it or anything. I think for now it’s fun to just spend time around the characters that are already here.

Which brings us to the best part of this show: the characters. Each character has a unique and creative design; hell, even if a lot of the base designs for the creatures seems to be “Dragon,” Fennah always manages to add some creative spice to them so as to not make them feel samey. And there are plenty of creative, unique designs, with Locket, Ludwig, Wexle, Fontaine, and of course Lucy standing out among the crowd. Speaking of Lucy, she is easily my favorite character, though I’m sure this is a rather uncontroversial opinion as she’s practically the face of the series at this point. She’s just so amusingly depraved and sadistic with light touches of civility and compassion here and there underneath her extremely harsh and psychotic exterior. Honestly, there’s not really a bad character that can be singled out yet, as each of them has something going on, and there’s a lot of lore detailed on the official website that fleshes things out and gives even more insight onto what the deal with these guys are.

Overall, I find myself enjoying this series so far. Most of the episodes are relatively short, with them ranging anywhere from forty seconds to twenty minutes, which is not too much of a time investment. If you like weird, offbeat, dark comedies with a focus on character development and plenty of strange sci-fi trappings, well, this is the web show for you. I’m seriously looking forward to where this show goes from here, and going forward it’s going to have my wholehearted support.

So yes. I am extremely sorry for the negative remarks I made towards Fennah’s work in my review of Doug’s review. I’ve never been happier to be wrong about a show in my life, and I really regret jumping the gun and bashing the work without context just because it was encased in a horrible review.

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #web show review #Satellite City #Sam Fennah #Lucy Lacemaker #aliens #black comedy #sci-fi #web show #YouTube

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bisexualfelicity · 5 years ago

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No Other Version of Me - Chapter One (2/?)

Amalia Queen was once said to be so important that the universe made sure she happened. Yes, it was her mom who said that but it still counts. Now, she's an adult and struggles to be worthy of such sentence. She doesn't want to be a vigilante and make so many sacrifices like the rest of her family, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want to save the world.

Sequel to "Five Lives"

October 2045.

There is something going on.

September was an oddly busy month, one of her roommates decided to move, it was her birthday and then there was her job, which she might have been overdoing. The work she’s been doing in QC isn’t ideal, overseeing their whole process and all of their associated companies to make sure its work was ethical. She doesn’t feel comfortable working in such a capitalist environment, even if it was her family business. But she had no experience, her mom happened to be the CEO of a big company and allowed her to make any changes she felt were needed, so Amalia felt she could do more change by working in the system, changing QC and pressuring other companies to do the same, instead of working outside of it. That being said, she didn’t imagine how much it would have to change when she started and she’s been dedicating her heart to do it.

And, of course, there were all the high holidays which took a lot of the time she didn’t have. So Amalia isn’t sure for how long something has been happening until it came to her attention. The fact that Mom didn’t nag her about not showing up on Shemini Atzeret should have tipped her about where her family’s mind had been on. But Mom never liked bringing vigilante business into holidays, so, for at least a little time, Amalia was living blissfully unaware of anything that happened on Team Arrow.

Continue to read on AO3 or under the cut!

She has no reason to know more than your average Starling citizen. Despite her entire family being intertwined with vigilantism, Amalia prides herself for having nothing to do with it. They do good work, but she’s more interested in changing the cause of the problems instead of the symptoms. They fight crime, she wants to stop them from happening in the first place. Not that she’s doing any world-changing work as of now, but she’s still building her career so that she can, eventually, do her best. There has never been any bad blood over this, which is why it’s so weird that they are avoiding the subject in such an obvious way.

First, no one mentioned anything. Not even Libbi, who has no concept of what a brain-to-mouth filter even was. Then, there are the looks. The out of context questions on whether she won’t go out of town, maybe study something new or just take a vacation. And, to confirm it, the very much not subtle deflection when she asks about Arrow business during Sunday lunch.

“Now, is the city about to be blown up or what?”

Libbi almost jumps to the question, Amalia just narrows her eyes. Mom and Dad are gone to the kitchen to wash the dishes, being way too eager to stop the conversation Amalia is trying to have.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” is all Libbi had to say, shaking her head and trying to look convincing.

Amalia prays that no one ever arrests her sister, because Libbi’s the worst liar she’s ever seen. Amalia continues to stare at her, knowing her little sister has never been good at keeping her mouth shut and is the weakest link of this secret.

“If there was something like this going on, surely we would tell you. Obviously. We wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Tell me, Libbi.”

If Amalia wasn’t sure before that her family was keeping something from her, the guilty look in her sister’s eyes would be enough to confirm it. Libbi bites her lips and looks back to the kitchen, seeing their parents talking and not paying attention at them. Amalia takes a step forward, closer to Libbi.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” Libbi continues, and tries to step away. “Just vigilante business. You know how it is… Crime! Never stops. Always dangerous. New stuff. Bad guys. Murder.”

“Whose murder?” Amalia presses.

“People.”

“Then why don’t you want me to know?”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to know? I’m telling you right now. People are being murdered, it’s crazy.”

“Yes, very. Next thing you know they’ll also start robbing.”

“Ha, funny! See, nothing to talk about, seems like you get the deal,” Libbi smiles and almost runs to the kitchen, under their parents’ wings.

Amalia sighs. She wonders if she can try to manipulate Will into telling her, pretending Libbi already told her something to get information out of him. But that would be too risky. They would all be too defensive right now, realizing she was on to them. Deciding to change her course of action, she gets her phone and tries searching the recent sightings of Team Arrow on the streets.

She knows all the most reliable websites, used to check on them frequently during her first year of college, whenever she felt it was a little too much of not knowing. But it has been a while since she had to check again, being back in Star City and seeing her family almost every week it was not necessary. Until now.

It isn’t surprising to find many pictures of Libbi in her suit, she is the newest vigilante and still causes a lot of rampage around the vigilante-obsessed citizens. Apparently, they started calling her by Lynx, Libbi’s choice for a codename, which is new. Last time they talked, Libbi was complaining about being called “Catgirl” or other names; in Amalia’s opinion it was her own fault for deciding to dress up as a cat, she should have just followed the archer theme, but no, her sister had to dress as an animal to “reflect her identity”. Amalia personally thinks it’s a bit ridiculous, they are supposed to be heroes not furries, but her parents prohibited her from repeating it declaring it “bullying”. The fact that Libbi hasn’t announced to her the achievement of being recognized as Lynx is one more indication that her thoughts are somewhere else – or at least that she’s avoiding talking about Arrow things with her sister.

She has to dig deeper to find something out of the ordinary. But then finally she finds a blurry picture of the Green Arrow being spotted in the past week, the online community is wondering if it’s someone new or if the old one returned. Amalia doesn’t have to wonder, she can recognize her dad in a suit, even if it has been years since she’s seen him wearing one.

If Dad is back on the streets after five years of retirement, it’s either really bad or something personal.

From where she is, Amalia focuses on her family’s voices, hoping they’ll let slip something when they think she isn’t listening. She should know better than that, her parents are no amateurs in the art of secrets and soon Mom is back, sitting next to her on the sofa and bringing up a different subject. Amalia doesn’t fight it; it’s not the time. Libbi might have inherited the vigilante genes, but if there is one thing she learned from her parents was how to strategize.

She waits a couple days before doing anything. Taking this time to dig a little deeper, she searches the latest news reports, even the ones happening outside of Star City. She can’t find anything out of the norm, there seems to be a new gang in Star City responsible for some recent conflicts, but she can’t find how it would relate to her. The more she thinks about it, the more it seems personal. It isn’t anything too dangerous for their family, her parents would have told her if that was the case and, besides, she imagines Will would take the twins out of town if there was any risk at all.

Is one of her roommates involved in crime? Amalia thought back to the two girls she shares an apartment with, thinking it is highly unlikely any of them would get caught up in anything worthy of Team Arrow’s time, especially without Amalia realizing. She does spend a lot of time at work though, so who knows what Ilana and Emma do when she isn’t there? Their own work, Amalia answers herself. This is a futile exercise; it’s not like her Mom didn’t do a background check on them before they moved in together anyway. And if her friends were murderers or anything dangerous, they wouldn’t want her living with them.

She wonders if it’s related to her work, but that’s her area of expertise. Amalia would know if anything illegal or morally corrupt was happening in her work, that’s a big part of her job. She has a moment of panic where she questions where she’s somehow doing something really wrong and helping crime, but after a few breaths she convinces herself that’s not the logical conclusion. No need to spiral into anxiety.

She needs to know the truth. That is why instead of driving home on a Wednesday night after a full workday, Amalia makes her way to the bunker. Although her default mode is to overthink all of her actions, her need to know everything speaks louder so Amalia lets her curiosity guide her for once. Besides, it’s not like she’s doing anything wrong by coming to the bunker, no one ever told her to stay away.

As if to confirm her thoughts, the doors open to her, recognizing her DNA without any problem. If her family didn’t want her there, she’d be blocked. Or at least there’d be an alarm going on so everyone would know she was there. None of that happens. In fact, no one notices her entering at all, all of them too busy discussing something near the computers, no one facing the entrance.

Her original plan was to arrive before anyone else so she could snoop in the computers to see if she’d find anything, but, surprising not even herself, work took too long for that. And now, after 8pm, not only the entire team is there but her parents as well. She’s lucky she knew about Dad suiting up again before coming or else her shock might have given her away. Mom being there isn’t so weird, she still comes every so often to “help” William, especially since she started spending less hours on QC and is bored out of her mind at home without anyone around.

Making the best out of her situation, Amalia gets close enough to hear what they are saying, making sure she can’t be seen. Libbi, the newest member of the team, is spinning on Mom’s chair, much to everyone’s annoyance, especially Will’s who is sitting next to her, showing them something on the computer. Becky Merlyn and JJ Diggle are the ones closest to Will, both paying a lot of attention to what is going on and ready to hit the streets at any time. Zoe Ramirez, Rene’s daughter and currently the oldest of the team, is a little farther away, keeping an eye at her cousin Elliot, who has decided, on his own accord, he was Team Arrow’s newest intern, much to Aunt Thea’s despair considering he’s still seventeen. Mom and Dad are on the other side, looking worried.

“We should just go there if we know all of that,” Libbi says, still spinning. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Variations of “Are you serious?”, “You’re gonna get yourself killed” and a kick on her chair all happen at the same time. Dad’s hand is all over his face and he’s probably considering how effective grounding his 20 years-old daughter would be.

“First of all, that’s bullying, respect my opinions,” Libbi continues, not shaken at all by everyone else’s disapproval. “Second of all, I wasn’t suggesting going without a plan.”

“Thank God,” Mom comments, making Libbi roll her eyes, “We are waiting for Sara to finish the plan, Libbi, you know that.”

“But why can’t we start without her? We have all the information we need.”

“I agree we should just start planning, Aunt Sara is not really a part of the team anymore,” Becky chimes in.

“Like she’s going to listen to us if she doesn’t agree. Let’s be real, guys, we are helping the League in that, not the other way around,” JJ declares.

“But we did all the research!” Elliot blurts, making all the heads turn to him for the first time. “I know I’m not in the team yet, but this doesn’t sound fair.”

“Because it isn’t!” Libbi uttered, “If this was anyone else, we wouldn’t be waiting so long.”

“It’s not anyone else, so stop complaining,” Zoe decided to assert her place as the team’s non-official leader. “We already told Sara we were waiting for her. This is not any mission, this is family.”

“Zoe is right. We don’t have time for disagreements right now. Sara already has a plan, after she’s finished the perimeter study, she’ll let us know how we can help. We’re here to help her, it’s her daughters we’re talking about.”

Amalia freezes at that. When Zoe had mentioned family, she thought they were just considering Sara part of the family in the broadest definition. She didn’t think they meant Sara’s family. Is Naila in trouble? All of Amalia’s body wants to go forward and question her parents about that. Suddenly, it makes sense why they are avoiding the subject with her. They don’t want her to know. Maybe they want to protect her feelings or they just don’t trust her with this after everything that happened. A lot of theories start popping in her mind, but before she can do anything impulsive like revealing she’s there, she’s retreating to the door.

She needs to think.

She needs to breathe.

Even though her car is fully automated, Amalia focuses on the road instead of thinking of what she just heard. Emma and Ilana are in the living room, watching something together on TV. Amalia only nods at them, heading straight to her room before any of them can start a conversation. She thinks she hears a “rude!” coming from Emma but doesn’t bother to check. Her roommates will get over her lack of manners.

Closed off in her room, she throws herself on her bed and counts to herself ten deep breaths. She tries counting the facts she knows in her head and immediately regrets running away. She doesn’t know anything besides it involves Sara and the League of Assassins. She doesn’t even know if it had anything to do with Naila at all, she shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. Maybe she can come back to the bunker and get Mom and Will by themselves while everyone else is in the field. It’s far from ideal, but it’d definitely catch them off-guard. She’s sure any of them would tell the truth if she just confronted them, but part of her is not sure she wants to know the answer. Does she even want to get involved with Team Arrow? Maybe it’s just normal business and she’s getting it all wrong from hearing just bits of the conversation. It has nothing to do with her. But now her curiosity is winning and she’s not sure she can cope with just not knowing.

Before she can think of a plan, there’s a knock on her window. The window which is most definitely on the fifth floor of a building. It says something about the kind of people she hangs around that her first thought is who would be climbing her window and not how anyone would do that. Without opening it, she reaches the window and sees a person in dark clothes, looking the other side, not worried about standing in a wall. Her brain recognizes the League’s clothing, but it’s her heart that opened the window without a thought first. All those years of safety training and she opens the window for the first assassin she sees, a part of her mind notes, but curiosity spoke louder.

The person enters and Amalia doesn’t have to wait for her to take away her hood to recognize her. It might have been over five years since they last saw each other, but she recognizes Naila anywhere.

“Amalia,” Naila whispers, approaching her, her face serious, “I need your help.”

June 2032.

It’s a sunny day in the middle of June when Amalia goes to her first funeral. She’s almost eleven years-old, which means she feels almost grown up most of the time, but standing in the Merlyn’s living room, surrounded by people wearing black, Amalia never felt so much like a little child. All she wants is to go to Mom and hide herself in her. But Mom told her to find Will and is on the other side of the room now, next to Dad, talking to Aunt Laurel. They all have sad faces and Amalia doesn’t need that explained to her.

Quentin Lance is dead. She had never seen a dead person before and now his face won’t leave her alone. She’s seen people in hospitals, has seen her father unconscious in a hospital bed and she thought looking at a dead person couldn’t possibly feel worse than that. She was wrong. Deadness is very physical and she wished she had accepted to stay behind with Will and Libbi like Dad had suggested.

Her grandma Moira died when she was little, but Amalia doesn’t remember that. She doesn’t know if her parents received people in their house, like Uncle Tommy and Aunt Laurel are doing right now. She wonders if her dad looked as sad as Aunt Laurel looks right now.

“If you want to know, it’s those damn vigilante’s fault,” Amalia hears an old man she has never seen talking. “I told Lance a million times to not get involved with them, that they were trouble, and look what happened! I don’t mind if they end up killing themselves, but getting one of ours killed?” He seems angry and a couple people around seem to agree with him, while others told him to be quieter, they wouldn’t want Lance’s daughters hearing about that.

Amalia freezes where she is. She doesn’t think about what if it was her dad’s funeral instead of Aunt Laurel’s dad. She doesn’t think about how vigilantes dying means her entire family dying.

She can’t think of any of that. She might be almost a grown up, but the almost here is vital.

Today, she’s ten years-old and she doesn’t want to think about her parents being in danger. So she starts walking, searching for her siblings. Libbi was too little to go to the funeral, so Will was taking care of her and would meet them here.

Amalia thought she was big enough to handle it, that she should go to the funeral like the adults were, but maybe she was wrong. She doesn’t even want to be in this room now, with people that say vigilantes should be dead.

Not seeing her brother anywhere, Amalia’s heart starts beating faster. It’s ridiculous, she tells herself, she is in no danger. She knows exactly where her parents are and there are at least a dozen of other adults she knows here. But something wants to go out of her chest and she doesn’t want it.

Almost as instinct, she goes to Becky’s room. Rebecca Merlyn is only three years older than her and she has spent many nights playing with her here. She hopes the room is empty, having seem Becky and her brother Ben both on the living room, receiving condolences for their grandfather’s death. Normally, she would have gone to talk to them, they were family friends, Ben is a funny boy and Becky used to be her friend before she became a teen, they could make her feel better. But they had just lost their grandpa and Amalia wasn’t sure if she knew what to say. She only remembers her grandma Donna and can’t imagine what would be like to lose her. She’d rather hide herself until someone else found her.

As she opens the room, Amalia finds it’s not empty at all. But it’s not Becky there, but another girl around her own age.

“Who are you?” The girls asks and Amalia recognizes her defensive posture, ready to fight. She almost does the same, but decides it’s only going to look more threatening.

“Who are you? I’ve never seen you before. I was looking for Becky,” she adds the lie, thinking it explains her better. The girl continues to stare at her suspiciously, like she doesn’t understand. “Rebecca. This is her room,” Amalia clarifies and the girl seems to relax.

“Oh, right. I’m her… cousin,” she suffices, speaking in an accent Amalia has never heard, and Amalia frowns because she has never heard about any cousin before.

The girl doesn’t look at all like Becky or Ben. Her skin is darker, her eyes are bigger and brown. She tries to remember Becky’s aunts Sara and Nyssa and thinks that maybe the girl looked a little like Nyssa, though not much. She isn’t sure because it has been too long since she had seen them. And they didn’t have a child back then. But she knows Uncle Tommy only sister is Aunt Thea, and this girl is not her cousin.

“Are you Sara’s?” Amalia decides to ask. The girl just nods. “I don’t remember meeting you.”

“It’s my first time here,” she says, her voice so quiet it’s difficult to hear, “Rebecca is outside. But I can leave you here alone if you want,” the girl says suddenly, and Amalia has to remember she said she was looking for Becky so she understands.

“It’s okay,” Amalia answers, blushing with her lie and wonders if she should leave, “Can I just stay here for a while? Too much people out there.”

“Okay,” she says.

“I’m Amalia, by the way. Amalia Queen. My parents are friends with yours.”

“I’m Naila,” she answers, not looking Amalia in the eyes.

“Was your grandpa Quentin? I’m sorry for your loss,” Amalia adds, realizing that Sara was also Quentin’s daughter.

“I guess,” Naila answers, confusing Amalia so much that she decides to just stay quiet. “I’ve only met him once. But he was Sara’s father.”

Amalia doesn’t ask why she’s calling her mom by her name, even though the question burns in her tongue. She wonders if she’s not really Sara’s daughter. Amalia knows people can be dangerous, and they can lie about who they are. But Naila doesn’t look dangerous, she just looks lost.

They both sit in silence next to each other without saying anything else, until someone else opens the room. It’s a teen girl who looks a little like Naila, so Amalia assumes it’s her sister. She has thick eyebrows that make her look angry and she stares at Amalia without a hint of kindness, some mix of judgement and threat.

“Naila,” it’s all she says, turning to her sister, nodding at the younger girl to approach.

Naila goes up immediately, not looking back at Amalia until she’s almost at the door. She hesitates and then gives her a little wave, so shy that Amalia would miss it if she wasn’t staring at the girl. At that, she leaves, not saying goodbye.

As weird as that encounter was, it makes Amalia’s mood change a little. She’s no longer thinking of death and Lance’s face, instead she wants to find Becky and ask about her weird cousins. Deciding that staying by herself in a room isn’t fun after all, Amalia leaves as well.

Outside, she finds both her siblings chatting with the Diggle kids and joins the conversation. It’s still a funeral and even Libbi is quieter than normal, but Amalia takes a breath, focuses on her family and friends and, if for at least a few minutes, she allows herself to forget where she is.

#olicity fic #olicity fanfiction #arrow fic #olicity #arrow

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tyrannoninja · 4 years ago

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Excerpt from “Priestess of the Lost Colony”

The following is an excerpted chapter from my upcoming novel Priestess of the Lost Colony. More information about the book can be found on my official website.

No torches burned inside the tunnel beneath the temple of Mut. Only the brazier Bek carried behind her drove back the blackness, and it was dimming with every passing second. Itawaret occasionally paused to search the floor for branches that she could toss into the brazier, but found nothing but cold and damp stone.

Finally, they reached a rectangular outline of light at the tunnel’s end. By the mercy of fate, the pair had not stumbled into any booby-traps, nor run into any dead ends branching off from the main passage. While dark, the journey was not as perilous as Itaweret had feared…

Hopefully, it would stay that way.

“How do you know this doesn’t lead to a trap?” Bek asked.

“Think about it. Why would Mut lead us into a trap? Don’t you trust her enough, brother?”

“Assuming that was Mut speaking to us. What if it was that Achaean demon she talked about, that Athena?”

Itaweret fought hard within herself to ignore him, and the possibility he raised. It was a valid point, if she were honest with herself, but it seemed unlikely that an Achaean deity like Athena could penetrate the sanctum of Mut. At least she hoped so. And hope was all they had left.

Itawaret walked up to the rectangle of light and pressed her shoulder against the surface, feeling the same cool stone texture as the tunnel’s walls. She pushed all her strength onto the door, groaning from exertion and the exhausting day, until it fell forward with a hard thud and crumbled outside.

A flood of daylight blinded her. Once her eyes readjusted from the subterranean darkness, she found herself on the summit of a grassy hill that sloped into a gravelly beach beside the sea. The setting sun gilded the crests of the waves, but the colors of the sky graded ominously, from dark red to black. Itaweret wrinkled her nose from the smell of smoke and burnt flesh.

Behind the hill, the city in which she had lived her entire life bloomed into a colossal inferno of flame. The fires that roared on rooftops, together with thick black rivers of smoke, obscured any sight of the carnage that, she realized, must have clogged and already begun to rot over the streets. Still, she could make out a stream of people being herded out through the city gate, prodded along by Mycenaeans in their bronze suits.

They were her fellow citizens of Per-Pehu. Her people, friends and neighbors, reduced to human livestock in one evening.

“How dare they!” Bek shook his fist while watching what she watched, quaking with rage. “We’ve got to do something!”

“We will, brother. We wouldn’t be out here if we weren’t going to do something about it. But we cannot fight now. Come on!”

She took his hand. They descended the hill to a dirt path that meandered northeastward. The cover of the olive and cypress trees alongside it, together with shadows that grew darker with each passing minute, would conceal them from any prowling Mycenaeans.

She hoped.

Less than two hours later, the scarlet heavens faded into blackness almost as pure as that within the tunnel. Now their only light was the half-moon and dusting of tiny stars around it, giving off a faint white glow reflected upon the vegetation and stones. Itaweret huddled close to Bek as they hiked up the path through the foothills, pausing only to pick up sticks to feed the fire in the brazier. If there was one thing to praise the wilderness for, it was an abundance of cheap firewood.

They ascended higher into the hills, climbing until the open, scrubby landscape of the low plains gave way to oak and pine forests that girdled the mountains. They climbed over fallen logs and boulders strewn about with increasing density. If walking uphill had not already worn away at the strength in their legs, maneuvering around these obstacles in the terrain taxed their muscles to aching even more.

Underneath the soft fragrance of the pines, Itaweret’s nostrils flared, capturing another odor, more rancid and unpleasant. She traced the scent to the gleaming, red-spattered bones of a lamb, flies buzzing around the few scraps of meat that clung to it. She had seen cattle and goats sacrificed to the gods in the temple complex at Per-Pehu, but never witnessed their gory remains in a state like this. The sight almost shoved her last meal from her stomach into her throat.

“How could this have died?” she asked.

Bek crouched over the bones and ran his finger over one of five parallel scars raked across the ribcage. He pointed to a weathered impression in the nearby earth, broader than a human hand, with claw marks sticking out before each of its five toes.

“I would have guessed a lion, but cats in general don’t leave prints like this,” Bek said. “Normally they retract their claws, so they wouldn’t show like they do here.”

“Could it be a dog?” Itaweret asked. “Or a jackal? Or one of those gray monsters the Achaeans call wolves?”

Bek shook his head. “Much, much too big for any of those. Truth be told, I have no idea. It must be a kind of monster we’ve never seen in our lives.”

Back home, everyone inside Per-Pehu’s walls had heard travelers’ stories of the beasts that roamed the wilds beyond the colony. Some spoke of cannibalistic men with singular eyes or the heads of bulls, giant swamp-dwelling serpents, or fire-breathing creatures that were part goat, part lion, and part snake. Itaweret had always considered the descriptions too ridiculous to be real. More frightening were the accounts of hulking beasts with dog-like faces and claws like knives, giant cats with dagger-long fangs, and ill-tempered elephants covered in shaggy hair. Those stories sounded almost truthful.

Itaweret wrung her hands around Mut’s scepter, shivering with a dread colder than the nocturnal air itself. “Do you know whether it could be nearby?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Bek said. “The tracks are a little worn. It could have left here hours or even a day ago.”

Two glowing specks of yellow blinked behind a nearby patch of bushes. Leaves rustled and branches snapped as the specks drifted towards them. The furry outline of a thick, stocky body gleamed from the brazier’s firelight. The creature’s snout was long like a dog’s, but its ears were smaller and more rounded. As it panted and grunted, it exuded the same stink of decayed flesh as the sheep carcass.

Itaweret took a step back from the lumbering animal. “What do they call things like that?”

“A bear, I believe,” Bek whispered. “Stand your ground. That could scare him off.”

Itaweret forced herself to stay put and waved the scepter of Mut like a warrior’s staff as Bek shook the brazier back and forth at the beast. Rearing ten feet into the air on its hind feet, the bear curled its lips back, exposing pointed canines. It uncorked a menacing roar while brandishing clawed forepaws.

With a single swat, the bear knocked Itaweret’s scepter out of her hands. She jumped to grab it, but the bear seized the scepter in its mouth and tossed it into the darkness. It swiped at her bosom, raking through her linen cloth and skin with its claws. Sharp pain swept through her chest as she collapsed to the ground.

Bek thrust his brazier again, the heated ash landing on the bear’s backside. Now aggravated, the the bear turned away from Itaweret, roared, and charged him. The bear’s attack on Bek gave her enough time to crawl over and retrieve her scepter. Just as the bear was about to punch the brazier out of Bek’s grasp, she chucked the scepter into its shoulder.

Her blow distracted the beast for another second. Then it swung around and barreled towards her again. She had no another weapon to beat it aside.

Another roar followed.

All the children of Kemet could recognize that deep feline roar. Along with it appeared a pair of yellow eyes, set in a bright tawny form. The feline sprang from the blackness and landed on the bear. The two creatures rolled in the dirt in a chaotic melee of biting and slashing.

The battle ended with the crackle of bone. The bear fell limp, a river of blood gushing from its neck, and more blood spilling from slashing cuts all over its body. The bear’s slayer stood over it, roaring with a savage exultation.

Itawaret and Bek looked upon the largest lion they had ever seen, one with a thick dark mane and faint leopard-like spots on its flanks. She had heard stories of giant spotted lions roaming the countries north of the Great Green Sea, but according to those same stories, they’d died out. Was this the very last, or did it have a whole pride behind it? If the latter, would they be seeking dinner?

Itaweret could only hope the bear’s big and meaty carcass would take their mind off she and Bek.

Then, a voice, a proud voice: “That’s a good boy, Xiphos!”

A young Achaean man in a simple wool tunic walked toward them, carrying a wooden shepherd’s crook. He stroked the lion’s mane as if it were a tame dog, while the big cat gorged itself on the dead bear. Much to Itaweret’s surprise, the lion tolerated the boy’s touch, rather than fending him off like any truly wild animal.

Itawaret brushed droplets of blood off her clothing and jewelry. “Xiphos? Is he your pet or something?”

“My father brought him in when he was a cub,” the Achaean youth said. “No need to fear him, my lady. He’s as gentle as a puppy unless you piss him off. Are you folks all right? It’s not every day we have black people come to these parts.”

“Why do you call us ‘black’ people?” Bek asked. “Our people are various shades of brown, some of us darker than others. If we are ‘black’, would that make you, what, ‘white’?”

The Achaean chuckled. “No use arguing over what we call each other. Trust me, I’ve heard far nastier names for your kind of people. Name’s Philos. And you two?”

Itaweret did not want to know those “nastier” names. “I am Itaweret, High Priestess of Mut from Per-Pehu. And this is my brother Bek, son of the Great Chief Mahu.”

“Aye, so you’re from the colony over the hills.” Philos looked up and down Itaweret’s body, his eyes following her contours in much the same gazing way as Scylax of Mycenae. “And, by Aphrodite, are you fine to look at, scratches and all! Nice curves, especially.”

Itaweret shook her head and grumbled. Achaean or Kemetian, white or black, men were all the same. Though she had to admit, the muscular young Achaean, with his flowing long black hair, wasn’t a wholly unattractive specimen.

“Anyway, either of you wouldn’t have seen a little ewe around these parts, would you?” Philos asked.

“We saw a sheep’s skeleton,” Bek replied. “We think the bear ate it sometime back.”

“Hades be damned, then! Xiphos and I have been looking for her the past couple of days. At least she was only one ewe. So, what are you two Kemetians doing out here?”

“In case you haven’t heard, Per-Pehu has been brutally sacked by King Scylax of Mycenae,” Itaweret said. “Our goddess Mut has sent us a quest northeast, one that will lead to Scylax’s defeat. We hope it does, anyway. She told us that we would find our answer in the first village over the mountains.”

Philos scratched his hair. “By Zeus, that’s my village! I don’t know why we’d know how to beat the king of Mycenae, out of all people in the world. But, if your goddess says so, I ought to help you the best I can.”

“How far is your village, anyway?”

“A few more hills to the east. But we ought to rest here for the night. Xiphos doesn’t like being dragged away from his meals, and I think we’re all damned tired anyway.”

Bek yawned. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Itaweret nodded. Almost every muscle burned from straining, even beyond her wounds from the bear’s attack. Her stomach groaned with hunger. Once the lion filled himself, she wouldn’t mind cooking leftovers of the bear over a fire lit by Bek’s brazier. Never before had she eaten bear meat, but food was food in uncivilized places.

She looked up at the treeline, and caught the flicker of little eyes. They weren’t the yellow eyes of a bear, lion or other predator, but silver-gray eyes… familiar eyes.

She blinked. The eyes were gone.

#excerpt from my book #book excerpt #novel excerpt #excerpt #alternate history #magical realism #ancient egypt #egyptian #kemet #ancient greece #african #black people #poc #poc characters #writing #literature #Priestess of the Lost Colony

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years ago

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Uchitama 7 - 8 | Eizouken 8 - 9 | ID: INVADED 8 - 11 | Iruma-kun 22 - 23 (FINAL) | BnHA 82 - 83

Uchitama 7

Lemme guess…this is the ve-Yep.

The name of this segment is Ottamake. The ke means fur/hair, but it does seem like it’s referring to Tama otherwise.

For some reason, Bull’s really into cats…

LOL, you can see the cat food right there is a real brand. I dunno how they got away with that.

Hmm, this show has something to say about idol business…and it does it better than some of the human idol shows! That says something.

It even comments on the “graduation” system. Whaddaya know.

Welp, I never thought an anime could pull off this with a commentary on gender presentation, to boot. (It’s not as pervasive as Stars Align’s, but it’s still one of the better ones. I guess I shouldn’t expect it as a norm though.) I thought Kai was a dude though and so Bull’s interactions came off to me as massively gay. I’ve been thinking, maybe he’s pan? Can dogs be pansexual???

Why do I get the feeling Kai is going to be introduced into 3-chome? Update: Doesn’t happen.

This song sounds very idol-like.

Uchitama 8

Aww…I feel like we’re going to learn Nora’s backstory soon. I think it’s going to be real sad.

…Yup, there goes my kokoro. Smol Nora is cute~!

Genki can mean “healthy” as well as “energetic” – the latter is why it’s translated as “spunky”.

Why do I get the feeling Nora’s owner died…?

Oh, smol Nora has a bandaid on his leg.

Let me ask the essential furry question – they hav human ears and animal ears. Which of those sets of ears do they hear with?

Yuuki Kaji does a good job as Nora.

This song’s so sad, it almost got me crying…

Eizouken 8

This anime is like something from Studio Trigger!

The magic of Eizouken is that you get sucked into the anime they make and never look back.

Tomodachi vs. nakama, I think it is.

Id: Invaded 8

Lately, I’ve been thinking about practical cosplay (everyday wear that also doubles as a cosplay outfit). So basically, I’ve been thinking about Sakaido and El-Melloi II’s outfits a lot, since they’re rather practical while still looking cool. All I’m missing for El-Melloi’s outfit with the red jacket is a black button-up shirt, for El-Melloi’s outfit with the black jacket I’m missing a red scarf and I’m missing a brown button-up shirt for Sakaido’s (although the yellow scarf I got today to get one step closer to two of those isn’t the right mustard colour, it’s more of a lighter yellow).

Also, I noticed it’s (according to the katakana) meant to be “Id: Invaded”, but heck, it’s been ID: Invaded for so long for me, I don’t care either way.

Kiki was born in Fukui.

I always thought Mister Fixer sounded sad and now I think I know why…the bit I remember the most (the line that goes “Mister Fixer” and the bit around it) sounds like the singer is lamenting their life. Now that I see the visuals again after a few weeks (I’d get fatigued if I watched all that Fate/ and still managed to keep up with simulcasts, so I’ve been taking the simulcasts in a few eps at one time), Mister Fixer does quite sound like a crime drama song, but not as much as Thought I Knew (from Stand My Heroes).

I’ve seen images of Anaido and Sakaido in the same well for a few weeks now, so this cooperation bit is no surprise at all.

I believe Fukuda is asking why Narihisago is a –san to her even though they’ve worked together a while.

The words “data profile” are in one corner of the titlecard.

Does Anaido remember who he is in the ID Well? I presume not, but it’s hard to tell since we haven’t had as much time with him as we have Sakaido (not to mention I’ve been regularly filling my head with Fate/ and other things as well lately…so it’s hard to remember).

It’s interesting. Fukuda has the same piercings as Anaido (and even a ring on one pointer finger that matches them!), so he must’ve tried experimenting with…more legal holes, to put it one way…before getting his most iconic one.

Kaeru’s nails are chipped. Hmm.

In #Brake-Broken, which I read the first chapter of earlier (there’s a sample on the Young Ace website), Sakaido notices he doesn’t have a phone with him to call anyone or a licence (because in that manga, he wakes up in a car). It’s likely this will work the same way and Anaido won’t have any possessions on him, aside from the clothes on his back, accessories and the item that was stolen from his wrist/s.

Rings on both fingers…so I should be talking about them in plural. Update: I like how Anaido’s off-the-wall thought processes break up the inherent seriousness of Sakaido’s deductions and utilitarian way of doing things.

Anaido, you grimdark f***er. Update: For trying to eat a dead girl.

Okay, so for the sake of my practical cosplay, I knew I’d need this episode. Sakaido wears a long-sleeve brown shirt with some kind of shirt under that (either brown or black), plus a mustard-coloured scarf. (Note El-Melloi II wears a black shirt under his black button-up shirt, so I went with black as well.) In Brake Broken, I also noticed he wears dark socks (or that could be the leggings) and runners with a lightning bolt on them (I had to make do with generic black runners with a white stripe on the bottom), plus the iconic brown shorts over those (with a triangle pattern)…Why does Sakaido have a scarf anyway, versus Anaido and Miyo who don’t? As much as I like scarves, especially where colder weather is involved, getting a specific colour scarf was a bit of a headache to be honest, since I took 3 trips before deciding on the one I was going to buy (and even then, someone got it before me! The scarf I have now was my 2nd choice). Update: The shorts, leggings and undershirt are black, but I don’t know if Sakaido is wearing any socks or if they’re black too.

Just to note what Anaido has as well (although a coat like that, with the red detailing and flaps, would be hard to find…), he has a blue coat, suspenders, a white button-up top, a string tie (had to google what that was called, although its name is pretty obvious now that I know), black pants (which kinda look like leggings, but they’re not) and leather boots.

Now Sakaido can go into the loony bin…he’s talking to Kaeru.

Is Anaido going in circles? Sakaido caught up real fast…

Um, hey, protip: When stuck in quicksand, try to ��float” on it. If you move, you’ll sink into it more. I don’t know how I know that, but I did stick it into my mind for times like this.

Notably, Anaido is about a head taller than Sakaido. Either Sakaido is unnaturally short and Anaido is average…or Anaido is just tall in that way some men are.

Did the bird get to this dude…?

There appears to be a man with a bun facing Hondomachi in the ED, although you can’t tell who it is from silhouette alone…Maybe he hasn’t appeared in the show yet. (Can’t be Matsuoka though. Might be the old guy who’s the head of Kura, actually.)

Update: Is the dead guy Momoki…?

Id: Invaded 9

It’s the familiar ceiling scene from Evangelion! (Okay, I’m kidding, but it’s a similar deal.)

I think the rules of Fate/ are “do it all, until you can no longer do it” (i.e. Everything is the same, until it’s different). It seems it’s the same here too.

Huh? Momoki?

“It doesn’t seem friendly.” – Yeah, and people die whe they are killed…in murder mysteries like this, usually speaking.

I noticed Narihisago’s tie is the same colour as his Sakaido jacket, if not the shirt under that.

Where did the Challenger’s clothes go after he took them off??? Hyperspace??? He wasn’t shown tossing them.

So Kaeru was Asukai all along, huh?

“Look at this.”

“It makes me think about him.” Subbers, that’s two mistakes in less than 1 minute…

I saw a fanart where Narihisago had his arm broken. I didn’t know why, but now I do. Also, TV Tropes is bad if you want to avoid spoilers…I know that already, but I go there anyway sometimes...

“It makes me wanna puke.”

Iruma-kun 22

The anime’s final episode is next week…but there’s already a season 2 in store for next year, so hopefully I survive the coronavirus and sort out all my issues this year in time for it.

Dat OP though. I’ve grown used to it and it’s actually endeared itself to me…which is odd, since I didn’t think I’d like it at first.

Demdol = akudol. Obviously, from “demon”.

Was that…Clara’s mother??? Kuromu’s older bro doesn’t look too bad, either.

Ohmygosh, this is fabulousssssssssss (and hilarious)! I’ve been waiting for this moment for many episodes, as you can tell if you’ve been following along, and I finally got the payoff!

Clara ends her sentence with –akuma (devil), hence the translation is matching it the same way.

Oh my gosh, Ryouhei Kimura (Azz-kun) sucks at being feminine, but that’s exactly what the role requires for this!

If you just pretend Azz-kun isn’t dressed in such an outlandish outfit, he looks really good…! Ayumu Murase does a pretty good falsetto, although you can tell there’s one point where Kimura’s voice gets really manly-sounding for a lady.

“Little imp” – Koakuma.

Oh! The Keroli family is all cute.

Ooh, Kuromu’s nails are blue. Never noticed that before.

Eizouken 9

Chojugiga are ancient pictures normally depicting animals. As for sepak takraw…

I wonder if Eizouken will tackle the Manabi Line one day…?

That’s a parallel for Comiket, LOL.

“A colossus that no one can see!” – Gridman, is that you?

When did Kanamori meet Asakusa again…?

Kanamori with a bun is cool.

“There is nothing fun about social media!” – Well, social media is fun for me because it’s where I escape reality, but sometimes you gotta be like Kanamori and use it for publicity’s sake.

LOL, the username for the Eizouken is @eizoukenn.

I just realised Mizusaki’s hairstyle is irregular…it’s much longer on on side than the other.

“Mizusaki bump” – I think this references the Colbert bump. (TV Tropes link)

Kanamori – she with the word “gold”…or “money”…in her name – struggles with maths? Wow, that was something to hear. (I guess it’s kinda like me and IT (cybersecurity) – I suck at it because I suck at modulos…or division in short…and even though I can be found on my computer a lot, that’s why I don’t pursue it any longer. I was decent at accounting, but man, I’d be bored out of my brain if you made me do business IT and I have zero skills in games and multimedia.)

“Was it thuggery?” – What’s thuggery? That word sounds funny.

Did you see how Asakusa fell off the tank?

I did CR’s Eizouken quiz sometime in the past and it gave me Asakusa. That’s true, basically. I like thinking up ideas and how cool they are, but because I can’t stop from elaborating on them, they get out of hand and that’s why I have a tonne of dropped projects. (Then again, with how freely I can imagine motion, I could’ve gotten Mizusaki too.) Update: Tried again and I actually did get Mizusaki…whaddaya know.

Id: Invaded 10

People have been comparing this to Minority Report…now I see why.

I almost feel like this is a discussion of euthanasia and suicide as much as it is memory and the consciousness.

Ohh…she remembers! Hondomachi!

You can’t see Muku’s face! Ohh, scary!

Aww, the music really sold this montage. By the way, that sign didn’t say “entrance ceremony”, it said nyuugaku omedetou, “Congratulations on your entry [into school]”.

It…this singer almost sounds like Bruno Mars, but that would be basically impossible, no?

Oh my gosh…when the song swelled, I absolutely cried. That’s rare, man – that’s rare.

BnHA 82

I think the leftmost figure might be Miruko, the rabbit lady. I’ve never read anything about her outside of wiki pages ad other small spoilers, but I roughly know what she looks like.

What does Gentle mean by “Anglaise”? Surely it wouldn’t refer to cream…(crème anglaise)

LOL, Disneyland parades…

Whew…that was dangerous. I almost agreed with Mineta there (to get the festival over and done with).

I swear Midoriya gets together with All Might, just like this, at the end or start of a climactic arc. He did it in the last season of BnHA, remember?

BnHA 83

Hmm…It’s interesting that the author likes to point out who has and hasn’t met Eri. Then again, it’s good for consistency.

LOL, Amajiki my boy…you’re so relatable.

Hmm…amidst the coronavirus concerns…this cancellation business seems quite timely.

Oh! It’s a drone.

For some reason, I thought Sero was drinking vegetable juice…? Eh, no matter. They have vegetable juice in Japan – I remember seeing some on my trip.

Hmm? Gentle is like a phantom thief, I just realised. Mostly harmless, but bound to cause a big stir if he gets his way.

What is Gentle’s Quirk, anyway…?

Work Son…LOL(…?)

Who bets their moustache on this stuff, anyway…? (LOL)

Iruma 23 (FINAL)

I don’t get to see Iruma become evil this season…but he will next season! That visual I’ve been seeing by the original mangaka confirms it!

Marathon - the demon puns are back.

Demonicon =Oricon chart.

Demon Star Platinum…was that…a Jojo’s reference?! *scare chord*

Oh! Maguro (tuna).

Azz-kun being afraid of fish? That’s news to me.

Okay, subbers. Whose idea was it to translate Iruma’s words as “My feels…”…?

There’s a post-credits segment. Keep watching.

Yay! Evil Iruma-kun!...In spring 2021. (I’ve never once been so excited for a character to turn evil than this! I also like how evil Iruma said it’s the “buttcrack” of dawn…but that’s just my immature side showing.)

Id: Invaded 11

“…being taken for a ride!” – Well, you’re in a car, so you’re getting a ride nonetheless. (LOL) I hadn’t heard of the term “being taken for a ride” until…what? 2016, I think? When I was still doing language anaylsis.

Sakaido used Headbutt! It’s…kind of effective? (Writing up these pseudo-Pokémon battles is fun. I should write more.)

“…put a drill to your head…”

“The victims of John Walker’s serial killers…”

I noticed Hondomachi is touching the side of her head which had the hole in it…if I remembered it right.

Is it “the Kura”? Or just Kura?

August 15th is a popular date for anime, huh? It’s in the middle of summer. (Refers to Kagerou Project.)

That ‘who knew you needed to lose something to be complete’ thing…I think I get it, but for some reason I only ever seem to get that feeling when it’s me trying to read asexuality into things (since that’s how I learnt to interpret asexuality), so…yeah, way to go, me.

Wait…Togo visited Momoki’s bedroom?!

Yep, so I was right about that being the side with Hondomachi’s hole.

#simulcast commentary #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #welcome to demon school iruma kun #mairimashita! iruma kun #id: invaded #uchi tama?! uchi no tama shirimasen ka?#uchitama?! have you seen my tama?#Eizouken ni wa Te wo Dasu Na!#keep your hands off eizouken!#Chesarka watches BnHA #chesarka watches mi-k #Chesarka watches Eizouken #Chesarka watches Uchitama #chesarka watches id: invaded

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dancinginthecenteroftheworld · 5 years ago

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Nov 5: Cats (Jaime/Brienne pre-relationship)

Jaime checks the address of the animal shelter three times when he pulls up. It looks like an abandoned warehouse on the outside, the kind of place he expects to find someone making illicit drug deals in the back corner, nothing at all like the cheerful images of animals finding forever homes posted on the website.

The inside, at least, is more promising. The walls are painted bright colors (he recognizes one from the photos) even if he's hit with the smell of cat litter and wet dog as soon as he opens the door. There's a chorus of barking echoing from behind one of the sets of doors and the counter is empty. Jaime rings the bell and overs awkwardly in front of it, not entirely trusting the dingy, threadbare chairs.

A slight redhead comes out, barely older than his niece, and greets him with a smile.

"I'm looking for a cat," Jaime says. "It's a Christmas gift for my nephew and –"

"BRIE," the redhead hollers, her pleasant smile dropping from her face. "We have another one."

Another one of what, Jaime isn't sure, but he's distracted from wondering about it when the absolute tallest, blondest woman he's ever seen emerges and joins the redhead at the desk.

She's even taller than Jaime is, and he isn't exactly short. The woman also has the most stunning blue eyes and more freckles than Jaime thinks should be possible. Ugly, is his first thought, followed immediately by fascination at the way she strides to the counter and squares her shoulders like she's ready to fight.

"Animals aren't gifts," the woman says shortly, scowling at him. "We're here to find homes for these animals, not send them off to be abandoned again by someone they loved."

"It will have a home," Jaime starts, but she cuts him off again.

"For how long? Until your nephew stops taking care of it? And then his parents get annoyed and then what?"

Jaime opens his mouth, but the woman just keeps going.

"They don't want to take care of it, they don't want pets or they'd have already adopted a cat, and you just shove one at them. Then they're right back here, dumping the cats on us again, taking up cages and reducing the number of animals we can save. And on top of that, the cats have gotten attached, so now they don't understand where the human they've come to love is and why they aren't good enough anymore."

The woman is shouting but her eyes are glistening in a way that suggests she's about to cry. Jaime thinks she's taking it all too personally, but he also doesn't think arguing will help his case.

"It will have a home," he says again, and barrels on when the woman opens her mouth. He can play that game, too. "With me. I'm Tommen's legal guardian, so I'll be the one taking care of the cat."

The redhead breaks into a smile again at those words, though the tall blonde keeps glaring at him.

"Cats are a lot of work," she says. "Have you ever even owned a pet?"

"No," Jaime says. "But I don't mind a bit of work."

"Brie," the redhead says softly, looking between them.

Brie snorts.

"They'll claw your sofa," she warns. "And throw up on your fancy rugs and shed all over your expensive clothes."

Jaime isn't even wearing expensive clothes, not really, just jeans and a cashmere sweater, this is just getting ridiculous.

"I'm sorry, do you not want to find these cats a home?" he snaps. "Or are you just sad nobody wants to take you back to their house?"

Brie takes a deep breath and looks like she's about to say something, but the redhead sets a hand on her arm, and the taller woman deflates.

"You'll need to sign," she says, from between gritted teeth. "Saying you'll bring them back to us if you don't want them, not just dump them on the street, and if you return them you won't be allowed to adopt again."

"Fine," Jaime says. He expects her to go back to whatever she was doing before, but she stomps out from behind the counter and leads him through a set of doors.

There are, frankly, a lot more cats than Jaime expected. Racks of metal cages line the walls, three in a column, with at least one cat in each. Some of them have more than one, and the scent of litter is even stronger here. The cage floors are covered in newspaper, though some also have blankets.

Some of the cats are loud, meowing frantically as soon as the door opens, and others cower in the corner of their cages. One particularly energetic animal is climbing the wire door of his, flipping around, and coming back down again, wailing dramatically all the while. Another hisses as they walk by.

It's frankly overwhelming.

Brie leans against the wall, arms crossed, glaring at him.

Jaime strolls along the line of cages, watching as cats run and hide or stretch paws out to bat at him as he passes.

"Look, Brie," he says, after his third or fourth circuit.

"Brienne," she interrupts.

"Brienne," he emphasizes, rolling his eyes. "A little help would be nice."

"It's going to be your cat."

"Seriously, why do you even work here if you don't want to adopt these animals?"

"I want to adopt them. Just not to you."

"You don't even know me!" Jaime is almost shouting now. He runs his hands through his hair.

"I know enough," Brienne says mulishly. She jabs her finger at one of the cages. "This cat? Sweet, loving, and she's been brought back here twice. First was because her owner's daughter stopped cleaning the litterbox and that was the punishment. Second time, the owner redecorated and the fur didn't match and was easier to see on the new sofa, so back she comes. Just because money buys you whatever you like doesn't mean you get to treat living creatures like that."

"I'm not planning to!"

"Yeah, but have you thought this through? You clearly don't know anything about cats."

"Well, we can't all live in our apartments with seven of them and become spinsters," Jaime says, and is pleased when Brienne flushes a deeper shade of red. She barrels on anyway.

"What are you going to do when it gets sick? Or claws your favorite shirt? Let me guess – you don't know. You just thought about how cute it will be to see your nephew's face on Christmas morning, and everything else will sort itself out."

"What I thought," Jaime says, stalking closer. He can't loom over Brienne, not when she's taller than he is, but his anger is still a powerful force. "Is that my nephew is dealing with the death of his father, his mother being thrown into a mental institution and he's lonely and the only things he's spoken to since I took custody are stray cats on the street."

Brienne has the grace to look embarrassed, but she doesn't back down from where she's toe to toe with him.

"What I thought," Jaime continues. "Is that he loves cats more than pretty much anything, and the only time he had one, it disappeared and I'm pretty sure his brother was responsible. But since that brother is now in jail, maybe Tommen can finally get something he wants, for once in his goddamn life."

When Brienne finally speaks again, her voice is more subdued.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she says. It sounds stiff, but sincere, and Jaime inclines his head in acknowledgement. "I just want you to understand how much goes into owning a pet."

"Well, as you pointed out, I'm rich. If the cat claws my shirt or my sofa or whatever, I'll buy a new one. If I get tired of cleaning the litter box, I'll hire a maid. I'm not going to bring the cat back. I could never do something like that to Tommen, after everything he's been through."

That seems to do convince Brienne, at least enough for her to ask some questions about Tommen and what he likes. Then she shows him a number of cats and kittens, insisting on bringing them out of their cages for Jaime to hold, although he really can't tell much difference between them other than furry or more furry, squirmy or less squirmy.

In the end, he settles on two kittens, because Brienne is of the opinion that an older cat with an established personality would be better, but Jaime has thought about Tommen's face on Christmas morning and he loves kittens so much that Jaime will take the risk, because apparently kittens are better behaved in pairs.

They're almost to the door when Jaime's attention is caught by a yellow card on the front of one cage, the number 2 scrawled on it in sharpie.

"Is that how long she's been here? Two days?" he asks.

"No," Brienne sighs heavily. "She's been here over a year. That's how long she has left until we have to put her to sleep."

Jaime peers into the cage. All he can really see is a pile of black fluff in one corner – he almost misses it at first.

"Is she sick?"

Brienne stares at him like he's being exceptionally dumb.

"No, but we can't keep animals here forever." She makes a clicking noise, and the cat's head perks up, amber eyes flicking over them both. "She's a sweet girl, but she's lazy and she's already 9 years old. She could have plenty of years left – my oldest cat is 17 and going strong – but most people are more excited about kittens."

Jaime feels guilty, suddenly, about the two playful kittens he's picked out. Tommen will love them, of course, probably more than a lazy cat, but he didn't know they killed animals if they weren't adopted.

"I'll take her too," he says impulsively.

Brienne gapes at him.

Jaime grins.

It looks like he's going to have three cats.

#november prompts #jaime/brienne #cats #ficlet #small town au

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ayellowbirds · 6 years ago

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42 Webcomics Keshet Reads

I was recently reminded that I currently read a lot of webcomics, or have done so in the past. Here’s an incomplete list, linking to the first page where i can (which will usually mean the worst art). Organized thus: Title, Author. Genre. Format (long-format stories, short-format & single-page stories, or mixed). Description.

The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, by Christopher Hastings. Comedy, Parody, Action. A man from a long line of Irish ninjas has devoted his own life to saving lives as a doctor, disappointing his family. His staff includes a sentient but non-speaking gorilla receptionist, and eventually a boy sidekick who grew a fabulous mustache out of sheer determination. Recurring threats include fast food mascots, ghosts, wizards, ghost wizards, and a disease that turns people into giant lumberjacks. Completed.

BACK, by Anthony Clark and KC Green. Comedy, Adventure, Absurdity, Weird West. Long-Format. A cowgirl comes back from the dead with no memory of who she was or how she died, and is told by a trio of “Cool Witches” that she has to bring about the end of the world—though what exactly that means remains a mystery. Consistently excellent visual storytelling from masters of sequential art; at least one WLW pairing among the characters.

Bite Me!, by Dylan Meconis. Comedy, Horror, Historic Fiction. Long-Format. A young woman becomes a vampire amidst the chaos of the French Revolution. Featuring immortal angst, a Jewish werewolf, and sacré bleu, the chickens. Completed (website can be slow to load).

Broodhollow, by Kris Straub. Horror, Weird Fiction. Long-Format. By the creator of the original creepypasta that inspired Channel Zero. A young man abounding with neuroses and compulsions comes to a strange little town in order to settle a late relative’s estate. Themes of unreliable memories and differences of perception.

Chainsawsuit, by Kris Straub. Comedy. Short-Format. Three-panel gag comic.

ChaosLife, by A. Stiffler & K. Copeland. Slice of Life, Autobiographical. Mixed-Format. The life of a queer couple and their pets: humor, lgbt issues, mental illness (K. experiences paranoid schizophrenia), cats, and occasional puppets.

Crunchy Bunches, by Scott Warren. Comedy. Mixed-Format. Cereal mascot parody focused on snaggle-toothed feline mascot Munchy and his friends.

Dead Winter, by Allison Shabet. Action, Horror, Comedy. Long-Format. Zombie apocalypse story with occasional partially-animated scenes, and a relatively low focus on the actual zombies. Infrequent updates, but has a Patreon with weekly content.

DRIVE, by Dave Kellet. Sci-Fi, Comedy. Long-Format. Humanity has taken to the stars, led by a second Spanish Empire that controls the secrets of FTL travel. When the crew of the Machito recover their science advisor and accidentally pick up a mysterious amnesiac alien at the same time, they become embroiled in intrigue that affects the whole of human space and beyond, caught between secret police, mind-controlling invaders, and a species dedicated to invention who have a grudge against humans.

El Goonish Shive, by Dan Shive. Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Superheroics, Slice of Life, Mad Science. Long Format. Difficult to pin down, once described as “the most squeaky-clean fetish comic online”—lots of characters undergoing fantastic transformations of their bodies. Starts out weak but gradually grew into one of the most progressive webcomics out there as the creator started to really think about the meaning of someone wanting to transform from a nerdy boy into a busty girl. I’ve said more about it, here. Significant LGBT content, including canon gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, genderfluid, and asexual characters.

Family Man, by Dylan Meconis. Historic Fiction, Horror, Romance, Libraries. Long-Format. A learned man of Jewish ancestry takes a position as a lecturer at a small Christian university in the middle of nowhere in the Germanies of the 18th century, and falls in love with the daughter of the head of the university—who has some secrets relating to her mother’s family On hiatus as of July 2017.

Freefall, by Mark Stanley. Comedy, Sci-Fi, Furry. Long-Format. A larcenous alien and his naive robot pal living on a human colony world acquire the services of an uplifted humanoid wolf as their ship’s engineer under less-than-legal circumstances. As time goes on, the crew becomes caught up in the struggles and politics of the artificial intelligences of the colony. Binge-reading page here, colored strips here.

Girl Genius, by Phil & Kaja Foglio. Gaslamp Fantasy (Not-Steampunk), Action, Comedy, Mad Science, Alternate History. Long-format. A young woman discovers that she is the latest in a line of mad scientists including the vanished heroes of Europa as well as some of its most terrible villains.

Goblins, by Ellipsis Hana Stephens. Fantasy, RPGs, Action, Body Horror. Long-format. A tribe of goblins go from being mere MOBs to taking levels as adventurers themselves, facing ambiguity about alignment, morality, and the place of "monsters” in a world that seems to favor humanoids. Can get very gory at times. Light LGBT content including a prominent gay male character; transgender creator.

Goodbye to Halos, by Valerie Halla. Fantasy, Adventure. Long Format. Forced through a gateway to another world for her own safety, Fenic finds herself in the “run-down queer district” of a city of animal people—and spends a few years coming into own identity as a trans lesbian, forging a new life. But the reasons she was forced into this world are catching up to her, and she’ll need to turn her protective streak towards defending herself. Heavy LGBT themes; often not safe for work. The only work i can think of where a trans girl’s underwear bulge is treated as a completely nonsexual and innocent thing.

Grrl Power, by Dave Barrack. Superheroes, Sci-Fi. Long Format. Probably Not Safe For Work. Comics nerd Sydney Scoville winds up becoming a superhero herself after circumstances force her to reveal her powers and join up with an agency providing training and oversight. While consistently funny and clever with the use of powers, it can be very centered on the male gaze; the art starts out being pretty . I actually first started reading it because I recognized one of the characters from years prior when the artist was posting softcore smut to furry websites.

Guilded Age, by T. Campbell & Phil Kahn, art by John & Jason Waltrip and Erica Henderson. Fantasy, RPGs, Action, MMOs. Long-Format. A group of adventurers face off against threats to their world—such as the CEO of the company that programmed their world in the first place. Strong themes of intrigue, the nature of violence, and the concept of good and evil in fantasy settings. Completed, now running extras & side stories, including annotated repeats of the original pages.

Gunnerkrigg Court, by Tom Siddell. Fantasy, Sci-Fi. Long-Format. A young girl attends a strange boarding school specializing in matters of the supernatural and obscure, making friends with classmates, a ghost, robots, psychopomps, living shadows, fairies, and eldritch horrors in the form of silly woodland creatures while exploring the mysteries of the school and her own ancestry. Shows remarkable art progression; the style of the first storyline is unrecognizable from the present. Especially rewarding if you’re into alchemy. LGBT content, including prominent WLW characters. Warnings: unreality is a recurring theme, and there is a bit of “suicidal” fairies desperate to be reincarnated as humans. Boxbot is rubbish.

Johnny Wander, by Yuko Ota & Ananth Hirsh. Autobiographical, Fantasy, Humor, Mixed-Format. A mix of slice-of-life autobiographical pages, and short stories, including the longer format “Barbarous” and “Lucky Penny”.

Kevin & Kell, by Bill Holbrook. Comedy, Slice-of-Life, Furry. Mixed-Format. Extremely long-running strip (daily updates since September of 1995). In a world of anthropomorphic animals where predatory species can legally & without repercussions hunt & consume other species, a businesswoman wolf (Kell) and her uncommonly large rabbit husband (Kevin) make their blended family work in spite of social stigma against predator/prey relationships. Far more light-hearted than it sounds, though it often touches on social issues and drama. Light LGBT content from some minor recurring characters.

Kill Six Billion Demons, by Abbadon. Fantasy, Metaphysical, Martial Arts. Long Format. A college student’s attempt at heterosexuality is interrupted by the arrival of a legendary king of all reality. Thrust into a battle over the greatest power of all worlds, Allison faces devils, angels, and the city at the center of the 777,777 universes. It’s a lot to take in. Occasionally not safe for work. Frequent LGBT content, including WLW.

Love Me Nice, by Amanda Lafrenais. Comedy, Hollywood. Long Format. Set in a world shared by cartoon characters and ‘real’ people (think Roger Rabbit), where TV star Mac T. Monkey Jr. struggles between his irresponsible instincts and his attempts to build a life as an adult and a relationship with fellow protagonist (and manager) Claire. Some LGBT content; infrequent updates. Occasionally Not Safe For Work.

Manly Guys Doing Manly Things, by Coelasquid. Comedy, Videogames, Parody. Mixed-Format. The staff of a temp agency for “ludicrously macho guys” tries to help the protagonists of video games, TV, and movies deal with their testosterone-addled brains in a constructive fashion. Occasional LGBT content—mostly MLM, naturally. Keep an eye out for the fluffy little velociraptors, and Mr. Fish the Gyarados. On indefinite hiatus since June of 2018.

Narbonic, by Shaenon K. Garrity. Comedy, Sci-Fi, Mad Science, Gerbils. Mixed-Format. Comp Sci. grad Dave needs a job. Helen B. Narbon, cute blonde mad scientist with a gerbil fixation, is hiring. Story arcs feature action-packed forensic linguistics, a worldwide conspiracy of guys with the same name, rodents uplifted to sentience, time travel. Some awkwardness around gender transformations, light LGBT content. Completed, with author annotations.

Nedroid Picture Diary, by Anthony Clark. Comedy, Absurdity. Short Format. Short comics that very quickly come to focus on the antics of the anomalous ursine orb Beartato and his friend/roommate Reginald, a bird who is just terrible.

Not Drunk Enough, by Tess Stone. Supernatural, Action, Horror. Long Format. A survival horror styled webcomic by a creator with a history of exceptionally dynamic page composition and lettering. Expect lots of magnificently weird body horror.

O Human Star, by Blue Delliquanti. Roboticist Al Sterling died. Al Sterling woke up an android body mimicking his own. As he reconnects with his former partner-in-several-senses, he explores a world that remembers him as one of its greatest innovators. Major themes of identity, the definition of humanity, and gender and sexuality. LGBT themes including MLM and transgender characters. Warning for some discussion of self-harm.

Outsider, by Jim Francis. Sci-Fi. Long Format. Beautifully-illustrated science fiction story that is painfully slow to update. If you watched a lot of 80s and 90s sci-fi anime, you’ll get the vibe that this has—including its arguable weak point of being centered on a man who finds himself among an alien race dominated by warrior women.

Patrik the Vampire, by Bree Paulsen. Supernatural, Slice-of-Life. Long Format. The unlife and history of an exceptionally awkward vampire and the mortals around him—book club, knitting, coffee shops, violent murder. Some LGBT content.

Poppy O’Possum, by I. Everett. Fantasy, Furries. Long Format. A single mother in a world of animal people where only opossums lack magic, Poppy just wants to settle down in quiet and safety with her daughter Lily. The world has other ideas—but fortunately, Poppy is mind-blowingly strong. On hiatus. Some LGBT content.

Questionable Content, by Jeph Jacques. Slice-of-Life, Comedy, Sci-Fi. Mixed-Format. Starts out focusing on indie rock fan Marten and his robotic “anthroPC” Pintsize. As the art evolves, so does the subject matter, focusing more and more on the rest of the cast and topics like the nature of personhood and identity for artificial intelligence. Eventually comes to feature significant LGBT content, including bisexual and transgender characters in the main cast.

Rae the Doe, by Olive Brinker. Comedy, Slice-of-Life. (Mostly) Short Format. If Garfield was a transgender doe and wore clothes and also there weren’t any jokes about Mondays or lasagna and the comic was constantly assumed to be autobiographical in spite of its creator frequently asserting otherwise and the comic was still genuinely funny. But otherwise just like Garfield, really.

Selkie, by Dave Warren. Sci-Fi, Slice-of-Life, Comedy, Drama. Long-Format. Former adoptee Todd becomes a father himself to a strange young girl who turns out to be a refugee from a secret underwater civilization. While the public gradually becomes aware that humans are not alone, family forms and is redefined as secrets from both Todd and Selkie’s past are revealed and dealt with, and kids confront issues of inclusion and exclusion. Also, for some reason two of the kids from Evangelion are Todd’s neighbors.

Skin Deep, by Kory Bing. Fantasy, Coming-of-Age, Monster Girls (and Boys). Michelle discovers the secret world of mythical monster people after a small medallion unlocks her own heritage as a sphinx—supposedly long-extinct, according to the other monsters. Michelle must explore who she is and her family history while also trying to avoid completely upending nonhuman society and maintaining secrets within a culture already used to the use of magical illusions and transformations. Light LGBT content.

Skin Horse, by Shaenon Garrity. Comedy, Sci-Fi, Mad Science, Zombies, Canadians. Mixed-Format. Set in the same universe as Narbonic (see above), “Skin Horse” follows an organization of the same name dedicated to providing social services to beings only recognized by the secret shadow government—staffed by a patchwork zombie bioweapon, a talking sled dog, a cross-dressing pansexual psychologist, and a receptionist in the form of an immobile Victorian robotic weapon of mass destruction, all overseen by a sentient swarm of bees. Frequent LGBT content.

Something*Positive, by RK Milholland. Comedy, Slice-of-Live, Parody. Mixed-Format. Very long-running comic that gradually grows from a dark and misanthropic sense of humor into a dark and misanthropic sense of humor with a warm and gooey center. Earlier comics can be pretty weak and handle many subjects very poorly (the first strip, linked above, features an abortion “joke”); gradually improves.in terms of LGBT representation to the point that it’s one of the better webcomics in that regard. I might recommend skipping ahead in the archives to the current decade (the “1937″ and “1938″ are strips flashing back to the previous generations).

Spacetrawler, by Christopher Baldwin. Sci-Fi, Comedy. Long-Format. The naive but brilliant alien race known as the Eebs are enslaved by interplanetary society at large, depending on their servile nature to maintain the high standard of technology and transportation across the void of space. A group of utterly incompetent aliens come to Earth to seek help in freeing the Eebs... and generally fuck everything up for the best with their terrible choices of sample humans. Currently in the midst of a sequel series focusing on new intrigue and antics, including a talking, murderous kangaroo.

Spinnerette, by Krakow Studios. Superheroes, Comedy, Sci-Fi. Mixed-Format. A grad student develops spider-themed superpowers—including extra arms—and attempts to navigate both concealing her transformation, and becoming a superhero in a world where super-powered vigilantes and criminals are a fact of life. Not Work-Safe due to suggestive artwork including improbably form-fitting costumes over improbably large bosoms. Recurring LGBT content.

Val & Isaac, by @tredlocity. Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Comedy. Mixed-Format. A space mercenary, her wizard buddy, and the cyborg fish girl who keeps all their technology functional, occasionally featuring their shapeshifting assassin friend Space Dread. Major LGBT content, including WLW and MLM, and a prominent transgender character.

Vattu, by Evan Dahm. Fantasy, Worldbuilding. Long-Format. Born to the Fluters of the grasslands, Vattu finds her traditional subsistence lifestyle torn away as a multi-species empire asserts a claim over her people’s lands. A fantasy epic with several major arcs; see also the creator’s earlier completed works Rice Boy and Order of Tales.

XKCD, by Randall Munroe. Science, Parody, Comedy. Short Format. Stick figures and scientific silliness. Make a point of checking the alt-text of each comic by moving your cursor over the strip. Early pages are much more along the lines of experimental sketches; link above directs to a random comic in the archives. Some comics are more along the lines of interactive games!

Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic (YAFGC), by Rich Morris. Fantasy, Comedy, Parody. Mixed-Format. Not Work-Safe. The inhabitants of a world heavily based in Dungeons & Dragons go about their lives as monsters, humanoids, and soul-searching mixes of the two. Begins with a romance between a beholder and a goblin, gradually builds up to battles between nations and the gods themselves, while also finding time to explore family, loss and love, and whether kobolds count as sapient. Moderate LGBT content including recurring gay & bisexual characters (it’s a very large cast); new readers guide here.

#long post #webcomics

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fandomiseverything · 7 years ago

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Pros and Con of Countries - Written by two Americans (Who both live in Minnesota)

Canadia

Pros:

Marriage equality (the gays can get married!) (SINCE 2005!!!!) (YEAH!!!!!)

Free healthcare :0

People are truly friendly

Politics are lighthearted and easily run

Higher wages

They have a town called Regina

Money has little windows that when a laser pointer is shined through it, it shows the value on the wall

They hate Justin Bieber

I’m pretty sure Justin Bieber can’t go into Canada? So that’s good (that is good)

Avril Lavigne

AVRIL LAVIGNE (yeah shes great but why is she a pro 2 times) (cuz she’s a clone) (ohyea)

Its a themepark (what) (their money projects the amount on the wall, its monopoly money, its waterproof, and its a scratch and sniff….. Its a themepark)

GingerPale

Rei & Shane (and Rei’s cats)

Canada is one of the most gay-friendly countries in the world

Change of legal sex available in all provinces and territories

under varying rules without sexual reassignment surgery

Tim Horton’s (YEEEEE, now i want tim hortons, ive heard of it never had it, and now i want it) (it’s gooooood. One day we could drive down to Brainerd and get some) (THEY HAVE TIM HORTONS IN BRAINERD????/!111/1/1?1/1?!?!?!?) (ye) (WEEEENEEEEEDDDTTOOOOOGGOOOGOGOOO!!!!11!!!1!11!!!!!, LEAVE IT TO MINNESOTA OR AS WE KNOW IT, SOUTH CANADA, TO HAVE A TIM HORTONS)

Cons:

Higher cost of living

Snow. lots of fucking snow.

Their money??? Is weird???

Consumer choice is low (especially with Netflix. The Canadian library is half the size of America’s)

Environmental impact (they’re one of the top oil producers in the world)

They spell Canadien with an “e” (its Canadian you matherfeker)

Its kinda hard to get into Canada

*Chloe voice* they are not French they just PRETEND to be for ATTENTION. (wow)

A lot of people only speak French (thats pretty much the same for any country, they speak a different language)

How do you speak French (very difficultly, lots of vowels, slightly similar to italian and spanish)

Its a themepark

It doesn’t exist (vtru)

COLD

Sweden

Pros:

It’s very clean. Like, seriously.

Most attractive people in the world

The locals are anti-social

The Gay has been legal since 1944

Right to change legal gender since 1972,

No sterilization required since 2013

Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections

Gays can adopt

Gay marriage legal since 2009

the first country in the world to allow transgender people to legally correct their gender

HomO, was the Swedish office of the ombudsman against discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation (i think its a funny name)

after one year of abstaining from sex, gay and bi men can donate blood

Sweden is Europe's most gay-friendly country

Cons

Very high taxes

Can’t ask for directions no one will talk to you :(

The locals are anti-social (so am i)

Germnay

Pros:

Central hub makes it easy to travel to other european countries

Good healthcare

Very active, with fairs and parties

Oktoberfest is pretty lit i guess (you guess?) (I’ve never been to Oktoberfest but my friend from Germnay - fuck you - says it’s great)

Legal drinking age is 16

Rammstein

Furries (i’m not a furry i sWEAR) (are you sure about that??) (i dOnT kNoW)

Legal to be gay since 1968 East Germany and 1969 West Germany

Gay marriage legal since 2017

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without required sterilisation and surgery

Sexual orientation and gender identity protection nationwide; some protections vary by region

Full adoption rights since 2017

gay and bisexual men have been allowed to donate blood, provided they haven't had sex for twelve months

83% of Germans support same-sex marriage

Cons:

Nearly everything is closed on sunday

Legal drinking age is 16

Germans dont get sarcasm

Finland

Pros:

They, unlike the Germans LOVE sarcasm

Very clean air

walk anywhere in nature at anytime

SEALS they have a special breed of seal native to finland

Very clear northern lights

They’re modest?

Extremists

Good heavy metal music apparently

People say they’re kind

Some of the most progressive lgbt laws in the world

Transgender people allowed to change legal gender, but only after sterilization

Sexual orientation and gender identity protections

Gay marriage is legal

Legal to be gay since 1971

one of the most LGBT-friendly countries in the world and public acceptance of LGBT people and same-sex relationships is high (lots of gays!!)

Cons:

CANCELLED, THEY HAVE FAT RARE SEALS

Norway (Richie’s fave country besides Canada)

Pros:

Snow is wet so you can actually do stuff with it (unlike MINNESOTA) (you CAN do stuff with minnesota snow!) (NO YOU CAN’T IT’S POWDERY AND WEIRD) (swhy you wait for wet snow or wait till it melts slightly, cause then its warm and thereswet snow) (NO) (yEEE) >:(

Norwegian elkhounds :0

People seem friendly?

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender

Sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, intersex status protections

Gay marriage legal since 2009, Gender-neutral marriage has been legally recognized since 1 January 2009

Married and committed same-sex couples allowed to adopt

Gay is legal since 1972

1 year deferral period was implemented, gay and bisexual men can donate blood

generally gay-friendly

Cons:

Shrugs

COLD (VERY COLD)

Russia

Pros:

Furry coats are nice

Furry hats called ushanka

Babushka means grandma but buska means bitch

Vodka

The GayTM, Decriminalised in 1917; Re-criminalised in 1933; Legal since 1993

Legal gender change since 1997

But only after what they call ‘medical procedures’ (idk what they mean by that but i suspect surgERY)

Cons:

No gays allowed

Religion is bAD

Religion is GOOD

THEY CAN’T DECIDE???

ALSO COLD (SO COLD)

Too much snow

They like to destroy things? I saw two Russian guys put a stick of dynamite in the sewer and explode the road? Why? (BAD but thins going boom is fun, but not important things)

Vladimir Putin (yee, but we have sarah palin to watch him) (o shid u right)

Government is weird? You can get killed if you say you don’t like the tsar?

If you gay and live in ‘Murica you can’t adopt from Russia (fuck russia)

Communism I guess (thought you liked communism?) (to a degree. I like the idea of it but it’s also bad? Like you can’t/don’t own anything? Your dog is not your dog it is everyone’s dog? I do not like that my dog is mINE)

No discrimination protections

No recognition of gay relationships

tends to be among the most hostile toward homosexuality

Japan

Pros:

SHIBES!!!!! AKITAS!!!! FLUFFY DOGGIES!!!

Sakura trees :0

Pretty colors

Gay is legal, it was legalized in 1880

Very strict gun laws

Never had a school shooting EVER

2015 opinion poll found that a majority of Japanese support the legalisation of same-sex marriage

sex among consenting adults, in private, regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender, is legal under Japanese law

Cons:

Killer bees (we dont like killer beeeees, NOT THEEEE BEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!) (the killer bees will kill you in a heartbeat)(bad bees…. , NONONONONONNOTJAPAN) (they only live in the forests tho. I think)(ILIKEFORESTS!!) (me too)

No nationwide recognition of same-sex relationships

No gay marriage

Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Pros:

All the gay is allowed

They have their own website you know it’s legit when they have their own website

Government is gay (everything there is gay) (shhhhhhhhhggSTOPITgggg)(NO)

Dingos

Cons:

Im pretty sure you cant permanently live there

It was technically at war with Australia for a while

Dingos (I want,,, to pet them,,, but they will bite me,,,)(i was gonna put them in the cons too if you didnt)

Kangaroos (vdangerous) (they scare me) (THEY SHOULD)

Greece (i like greece)

Pros:

Ruins

Anti-lgbt discrimination explicitly banned (ooo nice)

Food

Ocean!!!!!!! Ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean!!!!!!!!! (SaME)

Goats :0

Male homosexuality has been legal since 1951, female homosexuality has always been legal (nICE)

Hate crimes laws covering all areas incl. sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics

school sex ed classes include segments on sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, homophobia and transphobia (NICE!!!!!)

Pride has been held since 2005, and has been held in most other moderate sized cities since 2010

Trans people's can legally change their gender without having to undergo sex reassignment surgery (NICE!!!!!!)

GAY CULTURE IS VERY VIBRANT

a 1982 law that legalized civil marriage between "persons", without specifying gender, acted as a test-case for same sex marriage

Since 2005, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace is prohibited.

A lot of boat traveling

Cons:

Quality of life is kind of falling apart

A lot of animals roam freely, which means LOTS of poop

Goat farmers (whats wrong with goat farmers) (they won’t let me pet their goats :( ) (really…. Thats why this is a con?) (yes. I’m a petty bich) (......) (i like goats. And i want to pet them. If you do not let me pet your goats I will be sad [and kinda mad because I want to love them])

Lots of fucking goat cheese

Too close to Italy (whats wrong with italy???) (too friendly. It’s suspicious) (OMFG SERIOUSLY???) (YOU PUT THE FACT THAT CANADA SPELLS CANADIAN WITH AN “E” IN THE CONS) (thats because it iS A CON!!!!! CANADIAN IS SPEELED WITH AN “A”) (NOT IN CANADA)

The Netherlands

Pros:

quite strict gun laws, not seen as a right, but a privilege (????) (you wanted strict gun laws, they have really strict gun laws, its a privilege to have guns, and only for hunting and target shooting, not for self defence, or for other things at all) (nice!)

Homosexuality legalized in 1811 (holy shid)(yeeee)

Gay marriage legal since 2001 (i was born in 2001, they knew i was coming) (I was born in 2000)

The first country to legalize gay marriage (I approve)

banned discrimination on sexual orientation on the grounds of employment, housing, public accommodations, and more.

Lesbians can get IFV (???)(in vitro fertilization, they implant a fertilized egg so they can carry their own child, instead of just adopting)

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender, only after a diagnosis but without surgery or hormone therapy

. Amsterdam has frequently been named one of the most LGBT friendly cities in the world

Homomonument, was the first monument in the world to commemorate homosexuals who were persecuted and killed during World War II (this is so cool)

85% of the Dutch population supported same-sex marriage and adoption as of 2013

Cons:

Cold? I think?

Republic of Ireland

Pros:

Ireland (nice pro) (thanks)

first country to legalise same-sex marriage on a national level by popular vote

Affordable for any budget

Entitled to 20 days of leave

Yes, transgender people can change legal gender by self-declaration since 2015

Safe, with few guns

Less police

Lots of pubs

Speak English (this was a pro on a website) (IT IS A PRO I ONLY SPEAK SPANGLISH) (Spanglish) (YES SPANGLISH , DONT BE A DIC) (I can’t be what I don’t have)

Fear nothing and no one

Gay marriage legal since 2015

Low crime rate

Cons:

In a fight with Northern Ireland because they don’t want to be ruled by England but Northern Ireland does. Now Northern Ireland is a separate country.

The potato famine (I like potatos) (exactly)

Bad weather

Less police

Not much of a non-alcohol social scene

Fear nothing and no one

The Philippines

Pros:

Have to be at least 21, and pass a background check to be issued a Possession License for guns

If you’re a foreigner and you have a gun, you’re going to go to prison.

They are poised to make stricter gun laws

LGB allowed in the military

Low cost of living

GORGEOUS!!! IT’S GORGEOUS!!!

The Family Code of the Philippines says that marriage is “a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman,” but The Constitution does not prohibit same-sex marriage

One of the most gay-friendly countries in the world

Is the most gay-friendly country in Asia

Cons:

Can’t donate blood if you gay. You will give them The GayTM. (don’t drink the tap water)

Drug problems

Healthcare problems in some areas

Tagalog is very complicated to learn

Malta

Pros:

Transgender people can change gender with or without surgery

Homosexuality legal since 1973

Gay marriage legal since 2017

ban on anti-gay discrimination in employment

sexual orientation and gender identity protections

the first country in the European Union to prohibit the use of conversion therapy

Cons:

Gay and bi men in Malta are not allowed to donate blood

Though there’s talk to change that law

Poland

Pros:

In Warsaw they have a Hatsune Miku statue

Never illegal to be gay

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender.

one of few countries where sexually active gay and bisexual men are not legally restricted from donating blood. (give them The GayTM, drink that dam tap water)

Cons:

Apply to high schools

School is weird

Gay marriage is banned (wHAT) (I KNOW! Im sad too) (what if you’re gay married BEFORE moving to Poland) (idk are you planning to get gay married?, also … i dont remember waht i was gonna say) (no i’m just thinking about all the other gays who might move to Poland)

United Kingdom

Pros:

The Queen (YEEEE!!!)

Always legal for women to be gay; decriminalised for men in: 1967 England and Wales, 1981 Scotland, 1982 Northern Ireland

Right to change legal gender since 2005

Gay marriage since 2014, not in northern ireland

All discrimination protections since 2010; some existed since 2003 for sexual orientation and 1999 for gender identity

Tea

Crumpets

Cons:

Under the Gender Recognition Act 2004, transgender people who are married have been required to divorce or annul their marriage in order for them to be issued with a GRC. (??????? wtf????) (ikr, its kind of very mean)

The legislation of gay marriage also does not restore any of the marriages of transgender people that were forcibly annulled as a precondition for them securing a GRC

What time is it? ...ITS SEVEN BONG!! (you know they don’t actually tell time like this, right?) (IDONTCARE)

Still #salty about the Revolution (VERY)

BISCUITS (NO!!) (aka cookies in America) (FUCK BISCUITS)

conversion therapy remains legal in the UK (NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO) (IKR LIKE FUCK THAT)

Rains a lot

France

Pros:

Baguette (noice)

DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF DAY THE FRENCH GO EITHER WAY

Legal to be gay since 1791 (no wonder Lafayette was like how he was)

Transgender people allowed to change legal gender without surgery

Sexual orientation and gender identity protections

Gay marriage legal since 2013

amendment to existing anti-discrimination legislation, making homophobic, sexist, racist, xenophobic etc. comments illegal.

gay and bisexual men in France can donate blood after 1 year of abstinence

Transsexuality declassified as an illness

Cons:

Lots of crime? (from what I’ve heard)

Denmark

Pros:

Gay is legal since 1933

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without a diagnosis, hormone therapy, surgery or sterilization

Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections

Full adoption since 2010

Gay marriage legal since 2012

Gays in military since 1978

Lesbians can get IFV

Laws against hate speech for seual orientation

Lgbt sex ed and relationships taught in schools

Cons:

Iceland

Pros:

Legal to be gay since 1940

Transgender people allowed to change gender without surgery

Gay marriage since 2010

No standing army

Sexual orientation protections

Both full joint and stepchild adoption allowed

2016, Icelandic President participated in the Reykjavik Pride Parade

the first Icelandic President to attend a gay pride parade

Cons:

No standing army

currently unable to donate blood in Iceland

Though they are wanting to remove the ban

Greenland

Pros:

The GayTM has been legal since 1933

Sexual orientation protection laws

outlawed hate speech on the basis of sexual orientation

Gay marriage and full adoption rights since 2016

Cons:

Cant donate blood

trans people cant legally change gender (fACK YA GENDA RULES)

This is all we got for now, but if anyone has any input or tidbits about these countries that wasn’t listed, that you think is important (especially if you live in said countries, send one of us a message, we’ll add it asap! (most likely me, because im on more often and as such am more likely to check my messages) Sorry for the extremely long post!

#longpost #Very long post #countries #things written in parenthesis are our commentary #bold (if you can even see the bold #If you cant... have fun guessing whos wo) I'm bold #non bold is @Richie-spacedust #I swear it started mostly serious #then it devolved into memos jokes references and a lot of gay #send us anything you think we need to add #sorry for how long this is

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barryswamsleyaz · 4 years ago

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4 Essential Tips for Dog Grooming at Home

While you might be spending even more time at home, you may notice your best friend’s coat could use some TLC. Whether you have a pup or a multi-dog home, you possibly recognize that dog fur can pile up promptly. Normally, dog brushing in the house may not be a simple task for any kind of animal proprietor. Prep work as well as everyday pet grooming can be a key factor to aid keep your canine healthy and balanced and pleased. Read on to find out more concerning dog brushing suggestions in your home to aid you and your hairy family member.

What you require to find out about pet brushing at home

< img src=“ https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome2-1200×1200.jpg” alt =“ Discover what you need to learn about canine brushing at

residence.” class= “wp-image-45828″ srcset=” https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome2.jpg 1200w, https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome2-300×300.jpg 300w, https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome2-150×150.jpg 150w, https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome2-768×768.jpg 768w” dimensions =”( max-width: 1200px) 100vw , 1200px” > 1. Talk with your veterinarian The advice as well as competence of your veterinarian can assist you figure out the ideal grooming routine for your best friend. Also, depending upon your dog’s type they might require added treatment when it comes to their layer, skin, as well as nails. For example, a Great Pyrenees dog type may have different brushing requirements than a Chihuahua. Additionally, think about your canine’s age, breed, as well as weight and consider your options suggested by your vet.

2.Take your time

Your dog might be unclear of washing. Take into consideration slowly introducing them to the new activity. In fact, not all dogs like water or like their paws being touched. Also, by taking your time showering or brushing your dog it might help them come to be utilized to the scenario. Try giving your pet dog treats for a positive experience

3.Leave the cutting and clipping to the experts

Although it might be alluring, take into consideration waiting for your pet groomer to reduce your pet dog’s fur. Naturally, you want your pet dog to feel their best, however it may lead to a trip to the veterinarian. From lacerations to skin infections, hairstyles in the house might do your pet dog’s more injury than excellent. If you have any worries, reach out to your veterinarian. They can recommend the most effective course of action for your best friend.

4.Stock up on supplies

Dog grooming in the house would certainly not be full without all your animal grooming tools. Likewise, you never ever understand when you may need to wash or comb your furry buddy.

Vital items like a brush, pet dog hair shampoo, de-shedding device, pet dog drying towel, as well as brushing wipes are terrific to have useful when you need them.

Think about stocking up to avoid running out of your hairy friend’s preferred family pet products. Better, pet dog technology tools are becoming a prominent fad during family pet bath time.

< img src=” https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome3.jpg“ alt =” Learn how these four suggestions may aid canine brushing in the house. “course=” wp-image-45829" srcset=“

https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome3.jpg 1200w, https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome3-300×200.jpg 300w, https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome3-768×512.jpg 768w” sizes=” (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px” > Dog grooming in your home may be a brand-new experience. for the whole family A positive brushing experience might aid your pet dog’s total health. A tidy dog is a pleased pet dog. Also, putting in the time to brush your pet might aid you bond with your fuzzy friend. Simply bear in mind, it’s a brand-new experience for the whole household, so give every person time to get utilized to the brand-new task. But by speaking to your vet and getting on an everyday brushing timetable, you as well as your best friend will be brushing professionals quickly in any way!

When, what do you locate practical grooming your pet dog in the house? Tell us in the remarks below!

To learn more about dog care, reviewed How to Clean a Dog’s Ears: A Pet Owner Guide

About The Author

Kelli.Rascoe is an electronic material writer as well as editor for Trupanion. She invests her workday creating for the Trupanion blog site. She likes writing about pets, being influenced by family pets, and also the good news is gets to socialize with her rescue dogs all day. In her free time, she enjoys discovering as well as traveling with her family. Her work can be included on the DOGTV blog site, KitNipBox blog, Get Your Pet blog, Fansided website, among others.

from Lucky Dog Solutions http://www.luckydogsolutions.com/four-essential-tips-for-dog-grooming-at-home/ from Lucky Dog Solutions https://luckydogsolutions.tumblr.com/post/623819734892396544

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kathydsalters31 · 4 years ago

Text

4 Essential Tips for Dog Grooming at Home

What you require to find out about pet brushing at home

< img src=" https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome2-1200×1200.jpg" alt =" Discover what you need to learn about canine brushing at

2.Take your time

3.Leave the cutting and clipping to the experts

4.Stock up on supplies

Dog grooming in the house would certainly not be full without all your animal grooming tools. Likewise, you never ever understand when you may need to wash or comb your furry buddy.

Vital items like a brush, pet dog hair shampoo, de-shedding device, pet dog drying towel, as well as brushing wipes are terrific to have useful when you need them.

Think about stocking up to avoid running out of your hairy friend’s preferred

family pet products. Better, pet dog technology tools are becoming a prominent fad during family pet bath time.

< img src=" https://trupanion.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/DogGroomingatHome3.jpg" alt =" Learn how these four suggestions may aid canine brushing in the house. "course=" wp-image-45829" srcset="

tidy dog is a pleased pet dog. Also, putting in the time to brush your pet might aid you bond with your fuzzy friend. Simply bear in mind, it’s a brand-new experience for the whole household, so give every person time to get utilized to the brand-new task. But by speaking to your vet and getting on an everyday brushing timetable, you as well as your best friend will be brushing professionals quickly in any way!

When, what do you locate practical grooming your pet dog in the house? Tell us in the remarks below!

To learn more about dog care, reviewed How to Clean a Dog’s Ears: A Pet Owner Guide

About The Author

from Lucky Dog Solutions https://luckydogsolutions.blogspot.com/2020/07/4-essential-tips-for-dog-grooming-at.html

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movieexpert1978 · 7 years ago

Text

Furrballs

Day 30 Idol Challenge Christoph Waltz

anon: Cutest prompt ever “Hey honey…did you seriously adopt another kitten?” Prompt taken from a Dialogue Prompts post made by @pleasepromptme

So I changed things up and decided to use Johannes from Weihnachtsmann gesucht because of all the animals present. Enjoy!!

The dogs barking at the door announced the arrival of Johannes.

“Stop it! Get down!” Johannes pleaded placing his hands up to stop the three dogs from barking. They licked his fingers with their tails wagging as he took his coat and bag off. “Elisa!” He called out. He called out again when he didn’t get an answer. She must have been outside look over the farm animals. He went out the back door with the dogs happily running outside, but staying away from the horse, Curtis. Elisa was looking over the cow they were fostering named Coco for her brown skin.

“Hey!” She waved as she kept brushing the cow.

“How is everyone?” He asked coming up to her.

“Everyone’s good. Curtis is going to his forever home tomorrow. I checked them out, these people have some beautiful land along with a few other horses to keep him company.” She explained.

“That’s wonderful.”

“Buuuuttt…”

“Oh no, what is it now?”

“Ummm…I took in another cat.” She blushed.

“What? We already have four!” Johannes gasped.

“Hey those guys are adopted. The new guy is a kitten that needs to be fostered.” She explained.

“Oh no…not a kitten.” Johannes grumbled with a facepalm.

“Hey! I see you snuggling up to the other cats all the time so don’t give me that!” She argued.

“Oh alright as long as we only foster it.” He nodded. She finished brushing Coco before they went inside. They had met about three years ago. Johannes was divorced from his ex-wife Marion, who went off with another man. He decided to sell his pet shop and moved out of the city and met Elisa by accident. He was driving by her land to get home when something almost ran out in front of his car. He slammed on the breaks and watched as this young woman was chasing after a dog. He parked the car and chased after them to help with a little bit of a bribery in the form of a snack for the pooch who happily came over to him and gave him plenty of kisses.

“Oh thank god.” She gasped grabbing the dog’s collar and attaching a leash to the loop. “Thank you so much. I’m so sorry for the scare back there.” She said still gasping.

“It’s alright. At lease everyone is safe.” He smiled at her.

“I’m Elisa, this is ding dong.” She grumbled pointing to the dog who looked up at her with a smile making Johannes laugh. “Oh alright his name is Steve.” She said patting his head.

“Hello, I’m Johannes.” He said shaking her hand.

“Hopefully my dinner isn’t eaten so if you’d like you are more than welcome to join me.” She suggested. “As long as you don’t like too many animals.”

“I used to own a pet store.”

“Awww, how cute. I’m a veterinarian. I foster a lot of animals and work from home as a lot of pet owners come to me.” She explained.

“Wow that’s lovely. I’d be happy to join you.”

Three years later, Johannes was a secretary at the clinic that hired Elisa and they were still fostering and rehabilitating animals for forever homes. They went inside and Johannes finally caught whiff of the soup she had been making all day. It smelled very warm and inviting as she closed the door behind the returning dogs. He looked around the furry faces and finally found the new comer. He picked up the little black kitten who meowed at him as it stared at him with golden eyes.

“Her name is Velvet.” Elisa said as she made a bowl for him.

“Hi Velvet.” Johannes smiled as he curled the kitten up in his arms. He kept smiling as the kitten started purring and he felt the other cats rub across his legs. She got the bowls on the table and glared at the animals who looked up at her.

“Go lay down!” She ordered, pointing away. The dogs immediately went to the living room where they did lay down. The cats just looked at her curiously before going their separate ways. Johannes put the kitten down before he sat down to eat. “How’s the clinic?”

“Busy, but everyone’s doing very well. It’s all just appointments for shots.” He explained.

“Yes, that’s good.” She nodded. They ate in silence for a few moments before they started speaking again.

“The soup is wonderful.” He complimented.

“Thank you. I made a full pot so if you want take some to work tomorrow.” She said before she yawned. “Ouch!” She laughed as she looked at her leg to see Velvet climbing up into her lap. She sniffed her bowl before curling up on her lap and falling asleep.

“I think she likes you.” He teased.

Xxxxxxxx

The summer months had faded into fall and the house was a bit quieter now. They only had one dog which was a German Shepard named Kaiser, who’s adoption would be happening next week. Coco and Curtis were gone now, leaving her barn empty for the moment. Johannes looked around the living room and Velvet was snuggled up next to Kaiser. The cats were used to all the dogs, but he figured they were grateful for the small crowd now. Elisa was typing away to answer some emails as they had the TV on.

“Oh darling?” Johannes called out playfully.

“Yes honey?” Elisa replied just as playfully.

“Is Velvet going to get adopted any time soon?”

“Her paper work just got put in since she just got cleared from being neutered. It might take a while though, black cats don’t exactly have the best chances of being adopted.” She explained.

“Why not?”

“Black cats have a bad rap given how they’ve been portrayed in movies. You know all that supernatural stuff.”

“Ooooh…that’s weird.” Johannes huffed.

“She’s going to miss Kaiser.” She said looking at the two.

“Yeah, that’s why you got the substitute right?”

“Yup.” She finished up her work and closed the computer. She looked over at him and she gave him a kiss, which he returned for a moment. Only to pounce on her as they fell onto the couch laughing and kissing.

“You’re amazing.” He said between kisses.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She laughed.

“Oh thank you.” He huffed.

“Can we go to bed? I want you to hold me.” She spoke quietly. She had been very busy these past few weeks as she had been called into the clinic because some sick animals needed surgery. He could tell she was exhausted as he brushed the hair from her face.

“Let’s go.” He said taking her hand. They were quick to change and crawl into bed with both of them holding each other.

Xxxxxxxx

Winter was fast approaching as Johannes shivered getting inside the house. Velvet was there to greet him with her golden eyes and happy meow. They weren’t fostering any dogs at the moment, but Elisa feared that might happen after the holiday season because families ended up dropping off pets that had been given at presents. It always made her sad. She was going to be a little late tonight so he started with dinner as he looked over some paper work. He blinked in surprise to see an adoption paper for Velvet stating that Elisa had adopted the cat. The door opened and closed prompting Johannes to speak.

“Hey honey…did you seriously adopt another kitten?”

She came into the kitchen and froze with wide nervous eyes as he showed her the sheet.

“Uummmm…noooo.” She blushed nervously.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We put up notice on our website for Velvet right away. No one hardly looked at her page, not even after her shots were done and she was neutered. I couldn’t just send her away to another clinic.” Elisa pleaded.

“Elisa I’m not mad. I just wanted you to tell me first that’s all.” He said calmly patting her arms.

“Sorry.”

“Meow!”

The both looked to see Velvet looking at them and Elisa laughed as she picked up the cat into her arms. She was much bigger now, but still had that kitten like energy. She put her down and Velvet went off to snuggle next to a stuffed toy German Shepard as she had indeed missed Kaiser.

“Well I guess the only thing to say is welcome to the family Velvet.” He shrugged.

“Thank you.” Elisa said happily and hugged him.

“You need to stay away from kittens.”

“But they’re my weakness.”

“I know! I’m going to start looking for that parrot I keep talking about.”

“No way Johannes!”

#christoph waltz #animals #fostering animals #kittens #black cats #fanfiction #prompt

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williamexchange · 5 years ago

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How to Beat PPC Seasonality with MSAN & Google Display Network

When I’m sweating bullets in the oppressive August heat, I want nothing more than to dive into an ice bath fit for a polar bear. But when it’s snowing boatloads, I dream of lounging like the inner feline goddess I am, sprawled out in front of every sunbeam in my reach. I like to think I’m always ahead of the seasonality curve—ready for the change in weather, in activities, in clothing.

And, most importantly for marketers like us, the seasonal changes that impact advertising.

Some cases of seasonality can be expected: A local florist can assure their paid search accounts soar near our loving predictable Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day holidays (even if she would rather have jewelry—sorry, Mom!). A costume shop can expect to see wigs and accessories flying off their virtual shelves come October; lawn care companies to surge in spring; ecommerce to boom for our now week-long Black Friday celebrations.

But other seasonal changes are less predictable, and we need to be ready. Every single advertiser experiences some kind of seasonality. How do we identify our lull periods and more importantly how do we optimize for success in our lull periods? Well, my dear Watson, I’m glad you asked!

In this guide to planning for PPC seasonality, you’ll learn how to:

Identify seasonal patterns

Make a seasonal dip in search volume work for you

Use GDN and MSAN to beat seasonal slumps

Create effective display ads for both networks

Identifying seasonal patterns

“So, Lauren, how do I know when I’m experiencing seasonality if it isn't as obvious as it is for a florist?”

The first step I recommend is to pull up some year-over-year comparison reports to look at fluctuations in impressions served between years. Take the example below. This client, who is a chiropractor, surprisingly sees a consistent dip in the middle of the year around June and then again when the holiday season starts to ramp up.

Although my client below had a pretty prevalent dip at the same time every year, this data can fluctuate and change a bit from year to year depending on culture changes and adaptation—I mean, how many articles this week have you seen titled “10 Things Millennials Ruined This Year”? (Sorry, everyone.)

Things are going to change, but you can use these “seasonal” bumps and fluctuations to revisit and tap into your creative prospecting instincts to come up with new ways for people to be intrigued by your brand with display advertising. Even if it is only one month every year, use that month as the catalyst that builds your pipeline to thrive through the quarter that follows it and drives sales and success throughout the rest of the year—here’s how.

Making the most of your seasonal slump

When search volume is low for a season, most advertisers' initial instinct is to shut down all of their paid search efforts until they think they have picked back up again. I want to challenge you to think of this time instead as an opportunity to “build the pipeline” using other tools to raise brand awareness and really pump up your remarketing lists.

The next step is to think of creative ways to capture an audience within that slower search period. For this particular client, we thought about how the summer can be stressful: the kids are out of school and the parents turn into a chef, nurse, playmate, and chauffeur. All of those activities put a lot of stress on the body where it isn't usually. So now would be the perfect time for parents to come see a chiropractor to assist with any summer aches and pains.

For the holiday ramp-up we went along the same train of thought. The holidays are a stressful time and self-care is important in the midst of constantly thinking of others—also, we wanted to stress that people had the potential to lose their unused insurance benefits.

Using Google Display & MSAN to beat seasonal slumps

So what do we do with these creative advertising ideas? Use them with the power of display on both the Google Display Network (GDN) and Microsoft Audience Network (MSAN). I know immediately the mind probably went straight to the ole Googs. But MSAN puts your business right in front of millions of users daily. And the best part? The network is growing so rapidly. Bing, Amazon, Forbes, Yahoo, AOL, and CBS are all a part of the Microsoft Audience Network—so these are all platforms where you can get in front of your own audience.

So when you see these dips in search impressions, I recommend that you invest in both GDN and MSAN.

Why advertising on both networks is crucial

Why both? Because they work together like peanut butter and jelly. Advertising on both platforms actually boosts your branded search impression share on Google: Cross-platform advertising increases your branded impression share on Google search by a minimum of 26%.

How to create effective display ads to combat seasonality

So what are the best strategies for display ads?

Get ahead of your competition. Data shows that people start searching for the keyword "swimsuit" as soon as January 1. Some of these people might be getting ready for a beach vacation, but I’d bet other searcher have New Year's resolutions to get fit and this aspirational garment will keep them motivated until the season when they can wear it finally comes! (Not speaking from experience here at all.)

Appeal to prospects with emotive language. Purchases can and will be extremely driven by emotions. Use words that trigger emotions that would connect well with your products or services.

Appeal to people’s curiosity. Why do people click on an ad? Often, because it sparked more questions they wanted answered. Use this to your advantage by creating a curiosity gap in your copy.

Show your brand’s personality. A display ad is your opportunity to capture the attention of someone who (most likely) doesn't know who you are. First impressions are everything. Make a great first impression by showing an ad that is very clearly true to your brand and your brand voice.

Make sure that your content matches your audience. Don’t show people with an affinity for cats a dog-driven ad … unless it's me. If it’s me, bring me all the furry four-legged animals. The idea with display advertising is to resonate with your audience as much as possible so that users can relate to your ad. But on the other hand (no pun intended) ...you can never go wrong with an ice cream ad.

Test, test, test everything. There is no perfect science to display, which is what I find to be the most riveting part of being in marketing.

Let’s get seasonal, seasonal

Seasonality hits everyone in one way or another, it can be a season of influx or a season of minimal traffic. It’s important to identify when it's happening, why it's happening, and how we can take advantage of that time to take a softer approach or a more aggressive approach in some instances. Either way, display is an effective way to combat seasonality to assure you are maintaining brand awareness and foster product/service adoption for your audience.

There is SEO & Web Development Company which can help you to get affordable website designs and SEO services for your business.

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bookingbuys-blog · 5 years ago

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12 Things Every Person Who Wants to Travel with Their Dog Should Know

Posted: 7/18/2019 | July 18th, 2019 This is a guest post from Candy Pilar Godoy, who blogs about pet travel at Boogie The Pug. She travels the world with her pug, Boogie, and her tiny chihuahua, Marcelo. She’s here to tell you how you can do the same with your dog! Many people assume that it’s supremely difficult — if not impossible — to travel with dogs. So most assume that they’ll need to fork over a truckload of cash to cover the dog-sitting costs of leaving their pooches behind while they travel. However, I learned that, with research and a little extra planning, you can take your furry friends along with you on most travel adventures — and it’s not as difficult as you might think. According to the 2017–2018 National Pet Owners Survey, 68% of US households own a pet. That’s 89 million dogs, an increase of 56% since 1988. And of that number, about 37% of pet owners actually travel with their pets every year, up from just 19% a decade ago. The International Pet and Animal Transportation Association reported that, worldwide, more than four million live animals are transported on planes every year. The travel industry has had to adapt to this growing demand, and today, traveling with your dog is easier than ever. As someone who is extremely passionate about traveling AND dogs, I wanted to share what I’ve learned on the road about this emerging trend. 1. Don’t assume it’s a no

Travel with animals increases every year, and it’s taken establishments time to catch up, meaning lots of places don’t have dog policies in place just yet (or their policies have yet to be thoroughly fleshed out). I’ve heard plenty of stories of restaurants and hotels whose websites and/or social media have listed themselves as dog friendly, when in reality they’re not. It happens. When in doubt, always ask. Never assume that dogs are or are not allowed. It’s great to look for a “No Pets Allowed” sign or a “Pet Friendly” notice, but whether a place has one or not, it’s always best to double-check. A quick email or phone call can save you a lot of time, confusion, and frustration. For example, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to learn that dogs are welcome in most shopping malls in Rio de Janeiro. Who knew? 2. Make copies of pet-related documents

If you’re planning to cross borders or travel internationally, you’ll need your dog’s health records on hand (sort of like us humans and our passports). These are necessary to prove that your dog is healthy and vaccinated. Officials ask to see them, and depending on who you deal with, they’ll either keep the originals or make a copy. Additionally, if you need to visit a new vet abroad, you’ll be able to provide them with your furry friend’s medical history. For these reasons, I like to keep multiple copies of my dogs’ medical records and vet information on us at all times. This includes both a virtual copy on my phone and printed copies in my day bag. 3. Use dog-friendly apps

There are plenty of apps that can help when on the road with your pup. It’s become a lot easier than when I used to travel the world sans iPhone. My favorites include: All Trails – This has the largest collection of trail maps (over 50,000). Browse photos and reviews, and filter your search by dog-friendly trails so you know which hikes to hit with your dog. Bring Fido – The Yelp of the dog world. Bring Fido helps you locate nearby hotels, attractions, and restaurants that welcome pets. Pet First Aid by American Red Cross – This app helps you locate the nearest emergency animal hospital, and provides step-by-step instructions for common pet emergencies. 4. Skip hotel fees

Many hotels charge additional fees to accommodate your pet. These can range from a one-time fee of $50–$250 to a daily charge of $10–$50 on average. These extra costs add up, increasing the price of your trip and putting pressure on your budget. If you book a hotel with a $50/night pet fee for a week, that’s an additional $350! There are some hotel chains, however, that welcome your pets without asking for any extra cash — no additional fees, no deposits, and no one-time charges. Consider one of these hotels when you’re booking your next trip. My favorite pet-friendly hotels with no extra fees include: Kimpton – With no additional fees or deposits, Kimpton Hotels rank high in terms of pet-friendliness. Plus, there’s no size or weight limit, and no limit on the number of pets allowed. Red Roof Inn – This upscale economy chain has over 580 locations in the US, and additional locations in Brazil and Japan. They allow all family pets weighing 80 lbs. or less. Motel 6 – Motel 6 hotels are a great option for anyone on a US road trip, with over 1,400 locations across the United States and Canada. They welcome all well-behaved pets, with a maximum allowance of two pets per room. Can’t find a good hotel in the area? Try airbnb.com. They have an easy search function that filters for pet-friendly homes. We often use Airbnb when traveling internationally. Pro tip: Before booking with any hotel, ask these questions to ensure that your stay is comfortable. 5. Take a pet carrier

There are many options on the market when it comes to pet carriers. My favorites include the k9 Sport Sack, a dog carrier backpack that fits dogs of up to 40 lbs. (psst — use the promo code BOOGIE for 10% off). It comes in multiple colors and can be personalized with patches. I also use The Roodie, a pet-carrier hoodie that holds dogs weighing up to 15 lbs. 6. Be respectful of the people you meet

No matter where you go with your dog, be honest and considerate with those around you. Some people love animals, while others can be terrified of even a tiny puppy. Be polite and know your dog’s limits. Remember that human relationships with dogs vary incredibly across cultures. For example, in Guatemala, we saw more street dogs than pets. People were often surprised to learn that our dogs travel on planes, and even more taken aback to learn that they sleep in our bed. Try to be aware of these cultural differences, and be sensitive to the human-canine boundaries to which people are accustomed. Moreover, if your pet tends to be unfriendly with humans (or other dogs), make that very clear to anyone approaching. You don’t want to end up in a situation that could have been avoided with a clear warning. After all, dogs are animals — as owners we are the ones responsible for them. 7. Triple-check airline pet policies

When flying, especially internationally, we always double-check, if not triple-check, airline pet policies. Policies are constantly in flux, and rules are always changing. You want to make extra certain that you and your dog are both welcome on that flight. I usually check the airline’s website, give them a call, and send an email confirmation when I’m bringing my dogs on a flight. Policies and prices for flying with your pet also vary according to a few factors. They usually depend on the airline, the country you’re traveling to, and the size and breed of your pet. There’s also the option of air travel in the cabin, in cargo, and in baggage. (Want to know the difference between these three? Click here.) Some of my favorite dog-friendly airlines include American Airlines, Delta Airlines, Air France, and JetBlue. 8. Countries differ

When it comes to crossing borders, countries differ in their rules and regulations for allowing your pup entry. Some only ask for a rabies vaccine and paperwork from your vet, while others require a pet quarantine and high fees. There’s also a list of banned breeds for whom some countries won’t allow entry at all. The hardest countries to enter tend to be islands, like Australia, Japan, Fiji, and Iceland. The easiest are countries in the European Union (if your pup has an EU passport!). Research the rules of your destination country thoroughly and far enough in advance to ensure that you can meet all the requirements. 9. Make dog friends

As I said earlier, dogs are social animals. When you’re out walking or spending time at the local park, befriend other dogs and their owners. They’ll let you in on their favorite hangouts, the best dog-friendly restaurants in the area, and which vets they trust. Dog owners know best, and they’re a great resource to have. Here are the best ways to find a local dog community online or IRL: Go on a walk – Grab your pup and head out for a walk around the neighborhood. Stop to sniff a butt or two, and talk to dog people. Speaking to local dog owners is the best way to get the lowdown on the area, and all of the dog-friendly places around town. Instagram – These days, dogs everywhere have their own Instagram profiles. Look up hashtags, like #dogsof and enter in your location. You’ll find dogs all over the world. Find some local pups and send them a message asking for tips. Visit a dog park – Dog parks are a great place to exercise and socialize. Many major cities have them. If there aren’t any official dog parks in your area, ask local dog owners or people online about unofficial places where your dogs can romp around. Find an online community – Online platforms host a myriad of groups based on things like breed, location, dog size, and activity level. I recommend searching Facebook and Meetup.com. Many online communities host meetups and social gatherings that you and your pup can join. They’re also a great place to ask questions. Go to a pet store – Local pet shops are great resources for information. Many post flyers for local dog services, or information on nearby dog-related activities for you and your four-legged friend. 10. Pack the essentials

As much as you’d like to just grab your dog and go, there are a few things you’ll definitely need to bring along. Poop bags, a leash and harness, and ID tags are just a few. Pack your pup’s essentials in case you can’t find them on the road (not every location has a good pet store!). Here’s a checklist of things you might need. It includes things like: Dog food and water Collapsible bowls Toys A bed Flea and tick medicine Medical records and travel documents Also, make sure your dog is microchipped and always up to date on standard vaccinations. 11. Teach your dog manners

Before you hit the road, it’s best if your dog knows a thing or two. Basic commands, like “sit” and “stay,” will make managing a dog while traveling easier. A well-trained dog can be left behind in a hotel room or rental to rest for a few hours while you have a nice dinner or visit a museum. Plus, you’re more likely to get a “yes” to your requests if people see that your dog is well behaved. No one wants to be around a barking or rowdy dog who won’t listen! Work on obedience and manners, and make sure your pup always puts their best paw forward. If you need help, working with a certified trainer is best. There are also many resources online to help ensure that your dog is obedient and ready to venture out into the world. I recommend the AllThingsPups training tips — they have a YouTube channel, Instagram account, and podcast. 12. Say hello!

Seeing a dog always puts a smile on a stranger’s face. Be polite to people you encounter with your pup. Kindness goes a long way. On a recent flight, a friendly exchange with a dog-loving airline worker led to my pups and me getting a whole row to ourselves. Extra legroom and seat space are always welcome! I’ve also gotten free treats, lots of useful tips, and other upgrades all because of a smile, some amicable banter, and of course, my friendly pups. *** Travels with my dogs are more colorful and locally focused, and force me to explore parts of my destination that I would have never experienced had I been dogless. My dogs help me meet more people, see more places, and live in and cherish the present. There’s no better way to appreciate a new place than with a dog! Candy Pilar Godoy has visited almost 40 countries across six continents, and speaks three languages. She often travels with her dogs, and writes about pet travel on her blog Boogiethepug.com. Candy currently lives in Rio de Janeiro with her two dogs, Boogie and Marcelo, and cat Kitty. Follow them on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned. Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time. Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are: World Nomads (for everyone below 70) Insure My Trip (for those over 70) Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too! The post 12 Things Every Person Who Wants to Travel with Their Dog Should Know appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

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