#‘I stayed up until 3 am studying for the exam’ you didnt need to?? start studying earlier?

[evilestscientist]

I will never understand people who brag about getting no sleep

[oh-katsuki]

currently running on a total of 5 hours of sleep in total in the past 50 hours because finals are completely draining me

anyways im so so so sorry for not being here in a while, ive been studying a lot cause my finals start this week and its the end of the school year and what not

a few hours ago kai was trying to comfort me while i was crying over math equations because i got so mad at a question that i literally couldn't hold in my tears

IM USUALLY SO GOOD AT MATH BUT I LITERALLY CANT FUNCTION AT ALL

yesterday i stayed up binge watching mha so i decided that i needed to study today

i think ive done enough for today so im gonna take tomorrow as another off day

wait hold on im gonna check my finals schedule

what the fuck my finals dont even start until friday

im gonna fucking scream oh my god i literally spent the whole day studying when i didnt have to

im also very sex deprived and kai wont even let me look at his dick because apparently i need to sleep first

am i gonna sleep? yeah 🙄

currently waiting for the melatonin i took to kick in

i cant wait until summer, school's been taking away my opportunities to do anything interesting

a bunch of tiktok kids are on my ass because i said that 14 year old boys shouldn't be saying weird sexual shit and calling random girls mommy

i saw a post that was like "stop playing before i put you in doggy style gripping your hair telling you to shut up and take it"

went on this mfs page and his bio said "14"

bro go do your algebra 1 homework 😕

im getting tired now but ill come back tomorrow

also i hope youre doing okay!

OH ALSO I FORGOT TO SAY IT BUT I SAW THE VIDEO OF YOU DOING THAT DISCORD DANCE AND YOURE SO CUTE WHAT THE HELL

anyways i gtg before i fall asleep and accidentally delete this whole thing

- roadtrip anon <3

awwwwww, im sorry bub, final exams really suck ;( i’m sure you’re gonna do amazing though, esp since you’re working that hard. 

I love how you checked mid message when ur finals were that was kinda cute LMFAO 

also don’t worry bubs! I was actually just wondering today about where you’d gone n what you were up to. 

hopefully you get a good night’s rest so kai (glorious and respectful kai) will give you one single iota of cock. good luck, bae, sleep well <3 

[shytiff]

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing.  there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row. 

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken. 

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd. 

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

[mx-sfthrs]

finals week

a/n: i got two hours of sleep last night and am too lazy to write a coherent story so idk what’s abt to happen but this goes out to all my homies who started finals this week stay strong <3

picture this: you’re a college student and it’s the beginning of finals week

everything is happening all at once, you’re spending all your time cramming for your exams later, really just a walking ball of stress

your boyfriend kihyun has been bugging you for like 5 days now to hang out and finally today he breaks you

“fine! we can hang out tonight”

“really !!” he was so excited you felt kinda bad

“yes, just please don’t call me until then i really have to study”

“will do. i’ll be over there at 7?”

“that works okay bye” you quickly hung up so that you could get the material you wanted to know down before 7

what felt like 30 minutes was actually more like 5 hours because all of a sudden there’s a knock at your door

’shit’

you go to open it and you’re met with your cozy looking boyfriend all smiley and excited

he immediately went to kiss your cheek and walk in toawards the couch

“i was thinking we could stay in tonight since i bet you’re tired, is that okay?”

you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off

“we could watch that show we started last week, or maybe a movie? it’s up to youuu” my god why did he have to look so cute

“yeah about that…” you felt kinda bad for what you were about to do but you’d made it very clear when you first started dating kihyun that you took academics very seriously “i think i need just like, 30 more minutes before we can hang out”

you knew he was sad because usually he’d make a big dramatic scene to be funny but his smile just fell and he looked down into his lap

“oh… okay”

“but maybe you can come sit on my bed? then you can tell me as soon as 30 minutes are up because otherwise i’ll forget”

he sighed “oka-”

before he was done you’d already turned around to go back to your desk in your room

once he was settled on your bed he set a timer on his phone and started to play a game to pass the time

in the background he could here your write for a while then pause before writing again

like 20 minutes in though he realized you had paused for a while

he peered over the top of his phone and saw your head in your hands, figuring you were just thinking he went back to his game not wanting to disturb you

but then he heard you take a deep shaky breath and went into Protective Boyfriend Mode ™

“hey baby ….” he locked his phone and left it on the bed as he slid off and walked over to you

he rubbed his hand down your back as he gently turned your chair out to face him while he crouched down

he gently rubbed your back with one hand and your thigh with the other

he already knew what this was about because he’s smart and knows what it looks like when you get really stressed out

he sort of anticipated it actually that why he planned on staying in

you were trying to keep quiet and get it together as to not ruin your date night

you were trying really hard to get rid of the lump in your throat and to stop your tears from falling but then kihyun asked in the sweetest and softed voice what you needed him to do and you looked at him and broke down

and even tho you werent able to answer him, he knew what you needed

“oh sweetheart i’m so sorry” he stood up and pulled you up out of the chair by your wrist and forearm because he wanted to lay you in bed and hold you there

but you stood up and immediately buried your face into his chest so he wrapped his arms around you and held you close

he put one hand at the back of your head to assure you that it was okay to cry into him

u guys just kinda stayed like that for a while while u cried it out

u sorta calmed down but then the timer kihyun had set went off and you both jumped back

after getting over the initial shock you looked at each other and smiled a little

kihyun turned the alarm off and sat against the headboard

he deadass didnt even say anything he just opened his arms up wide and have you a cheesy smile lol

so you crawled onto the bed and straddled his lap before snuggling into his chest

“do you wanna watch a movie?”

you nodded

he had one hand on the small of your back and the other reached for the remote

“do you wanna watch finding nemo?”

you nodded again

he smiled as he brought the movie up on the tv

once the movie pulled up he started to lightly and mindlessly trace his fingertips up and down your back while his other hand rested on your thigh

like two minutes in he realized you weren’t even facing the screen and suddenly stopped

he tried to look at your face but your head was resting where his neck met his collarbone so it didnt rlly work lol

“hey did you wanna turn around? you can still be in my lap just facing the other -”

but you were already shaking your head no

“mayaghslatege”

“huh?”

you sat up a little so he could actually hear you

“i said maybe later”

you assumed the position you were in before as kihyun went back to what he was doing before

he kissed the top of your head

then he rested his cheek against the side of your head

20 minutes later you were dead asleep

he knew bc he could feel your even breaths on his neck and because you didnt laugh when nemo’s friend said “he touched the butt”

he smiled to himself, happy that you finally seemed relaxed

[prorevenge]

Boy meets girl

I often pressed V for information on how she earned income but she would give conflicting answers about grants and scholarships until one day.... About 6 months after our first meeting, she finally tells me and IT. IS. NOT. GOOD. I was interviewing at a professional school when I receive the call, she's in trouble, BIG TROUBLE, and needs my help. She tells me she earns money by doing others' assignments for them. $200 to write a paper and $800 to complete an online class, usually a 100 level introductory course. She describes the method she uses to circumvent the ITs detection of others completing others assignment and how her client wasn't doing his part to copy/paste and submit from his own computer. He is failing the course and blames her. He threatens to turn her in. Her plan is to refund his money and wants me to 'follow him to see if he goes somewhere alone and take his phone' because that has all the evidence of their communications. HOLY SHIT! SHE WANTS ME TO COMMIT STRONG ARMED ROBBERY, a FELONY for her! I'm not going down for this or with her and I know nobody would believe me. ENTER: military experience - if there's no record, it didn't happen. So, I agree to help her, somehow, as soon as I return to town. I go to V's dorm the next night and she shows me EVERYTHING. Her list of clients, their blackboard passwords, how she meets them, how she defends them during honor code violations, etc. So I tell her not to worry, I'll handle everything on the day she refunds his money. Relieved, she goes to bed but before she lays down I ask to use her computer for on assignment and she says "sure do whatever you want". In my state, if you let someone use your electronics, its called "having privilege" and anything you do with their computer which may harm them is legal as if it your own computer. So, I took screenshots of her conversations with her clients, I open google settings and screenshot all the blackboard users and passwords stored on her computer. I go to her messenger and screenshot their conversations. Back home, I compiled our recordings and saved our facebook conversations. A week later, I made up an argument about an upcoming New Years Party and broke up with her. Then sat on the information I had on hand for 2 more weeks thinking about what I should do.

I remembered how she has a history of arrests from high school to freshman year for stealing from outlet malls and selling their loot online. Never formally charged. She, of course, omitted this from her application into professional school. How she admitted "finding a mark" and using them to pass her courses. How she denigrated others who were completing courses through hard work. How she used her position as honor council to get her friends out of trouble while helping to expel others for doing exactly what she was doing. How she cheated on me multiple times, used me, manipulated me, tried to make me commit a felony and ruin my life. SHE HAD TO BE STOPPED.

Knowing she was friends with the faculty on the honor council, they often bought each other gifts, I had to go above their heads. I gave names and descriptions of the events to my program director. He then goes to the honor council, anyway. I was called into the honor council's head office of "Corrupt Administrator" CA. CA tells me I should delete the information I have because it could become a civil matter and I should consider my "self preservation." She schedules another meeting with me a week later. I return and she asks if I want to make a statement about V. Guess what I said, I tell her "no, I deleted everything and I don't remember" because I was in the military and I know how to 'play ball' when superiors tell you to shut your mouth. But the most important reason I decided to not file against V directly was due to the fact I was applying for a military scholarship to pay for professional school. Since I did not follow through, the program director filed an honor code violation complaint against V on a date [suggested by CA]. A month later they tell me their investigation was inconclusive and they will close the case due to the director waiting 1 day too long to file according to the school's academic policy. CA set us up! However, since the director used my name as a source, they must notify V because students have rights to know their accusers. FUCK.MY.LIFE. CA fucked me and ruined any chance for a case against V based on a technicality. Now I fear for my safety because V tried to get me to strong arm rob someone now I just implicated a dozen cheaters who have as much as her to lose. CA schedules a meeting with V and tell her about an ongoing investigation and tells her she will be kept up-to-date. I know the investigation is over and now they are just doing formalities. V requests the information of the investigation and they promise to email it to her. V calls me for support even though we aren't together. She is crying and talking about killing herself. She tells me her dad had been paying for her college this whole time and starts coming clean with other lies. I feel bad and almost regret everything. Maybe she is not a sociopath, maybe she is really sorry. She stays at my house the next few days, I'm watching her trying to keep it together. THEN HER FUCKING CLIENTS START COMING TO MY HOUSE. She is still doing their assignments! She NEVER LEARNS!

Finally she gets the investigation info and there's my name. She calls me 130 times in 3 days, sends her friends to my classes to tell me to come to her house, finally I do. But I don't go into her room because she will trap me. She takes my phone so I can't record. She tries to get me to sign a paper saying I fabricated everything and its all false. I tell V, "They already closed the investigation, you wont get in any trouble why should I implicate myself and get in trouble? It wont solve anything!" And she pleads, "Do you still love me?" I shake my head and walk out. Two days later, police are waiting at my house to serve a 72 hour emergency protective order (EPO) commanding me to stay away from V. I know what she is up to. She is trying to get me to violate the protective order, discredit me, and send me to jail. Its very easy to lie to create one and lie to say it was violated.

NOW ITS NOT JUST REVENGE TIME, ITS WAR

Here's the plot twist: I never really deleted the files as I told CA. TYVM, Google drive.

After the 72 hours EPO expired, another EPO arrives which lasts two years but requires a court appearance. This is a huge problem because I am in the US Army reserves and it requires the handling of firearms which is illegal under an EPO. Her lawyer calls me and threatens me not to "participate in anymore investigations against her" and sends a paper tiger. I get a lawyer, lets name him "Folds like a lawn chair". He tells me "who will they believe: a pretty girl or you?" I fire him. Get a better lawyer, a trial lawyer, called "Miss Badass Esq." and prepare for war. Miss Badass requests a copy of V's EPO from the court. It essentially says I was blackmailing her, threatening to beat her up, and I broke into her room to steal incriminating information against her. All lies. I provide my lawyer the entire history of our relationship: 600 pages of facebook and text messages showing she is the aggressor, the abuser, in the relationship, phone call history, all the recordings and screenshots of her cheating ring. I make a poster sized chart of her room and the events that transpire there the day in question when she tried to trap me into signing a statement taking responsibility for her actions.

Courtdate: We made V and her lawyer look REALLY stupid. They were going with the 'pretty girl' strategy. But the dorm gave us records showing she was signing me in and out of her room, so it discredits the need to break in. The call logs: 130 times in 3 days and aggressive texts showed she wasn't actually afraid of me adn it was her, not me, being aggressive. And when he asked what I had to use to blackmail her, her lawyer said "just some tutoring papers" for which the judge said, "that doesn't sound like anything wrong. What power did that give him over you?" They had no response. My turn to speak, I explain how she tried to get me to rob a guy, how she wanted me to write a letter to take the blame, how she used her position as honor council chair to break state law and violate academic policy. And summarized we were only there because she wanted revenge on me. I watched V and her lawyer stutter and squirm uncomfortably under the judges questioning, case dismissed.

All that information I gathered to defend myself was not going to go to waste. I took it to a newly hired honor council investigator called "Meg" who had no affiliation with V. I told her what CA had done to defend V. A week later, I was told the by Meg there had been a meeting with the school police, the provost, their legal team, then the provost himself decided filed a complaint against V. I had to meet with the police to file a statement about V trying to recruit me to rob someone but other than that I was out of the loop. I later learned the results: V lost her her slot at that school's professional program, her program director yelled at her at the top of his lungs, "YOU WILL NEVER GO TO ********* SCHOOL, I KNOW ADMISSIONS AND I WILL SEE TO IT", she got expelled, her TWO degrees (biomedical engineering and biology with a minor in chemistry) were withheld for 6 years and her transcripts would carry a permanent mention of an honor code violation, her clients who graduated had their degrees retracted with similar mentions on their transcripts, and current clients were also expelled. The school changed its policy on reporting date requirements to like 60 or 90 days. Me? I am in professional school. V had her chance to get away with all of this until she tried to get revenge on me. I reduced this super villain from owning a fleet of beta male minions, being the most connected person in the university, and having a lucrative future in ripping people off in the medical industry to the last time I saw her: riding a fucking scooter.

(source) story by (/u/Apophis1942)

[anonil88]

Loyal Lines, Loyal Stunts (wayhaught college au) : Chapter 3

Ch 3

Rated: M

Notes: this chapter may feel a bit shorter if anyone out there is reading I’m gonna try and make the next a little longer or keep them all this length.

The rest of rush week felt like hell week for Waverly. She was drowning in a million tasks and chants rotated in her head all day. Whether it was cheer or a sigma gamma chi song they all muddled together playing over and over. Then on top of that several of her professors decides to have lectures that dragged on for too long. Waverly knew she was pretty smart but, she was failing to grasp important information for two upcoming exams. Somehow she made it to the follwing monday with only lights bags under her eyes. On top of this there was a new unsettling vibe to the campus that Waverly felt in her every bone.

It started when the automated mass text alerts were sent to her and everyone on campus on saturday night. She was at a party with a few sorority sisters when some people started to murmur looking at their phones. Pulling out her own she tapped the message bubble that read:

WHU SECU. ALERT:_ Students have reported a motorcade of individual circling the streets surrounding our campus. These individuals are seen wearing matching insignia and verbally harassing bystanders. We have contacted the authorities  please be aware of your surroundings and stay safe. If you or someone else is in distress contact the security offices or your local authority. OFFICER LUCADO _WHU SECU. 

Waverly had a bad feeling about this but told herself that campus was safe at least. She did notice an uptick in officers patrolling the dorm complexes that night. It didnt dismiss the pit in her stomach, but it made it less unnerving. That monday she knew she xould not study in her room and packed her bag for a long study session in the library. Sh had to be ready for her exam the next day and prepare a new routine for the girls for wednesday practice. The omly way she could do both and remain sane was a change of scenery. Making her way into the library in an oversized niagra falls hoodie and leggings, she found a study room and went into crunch mode.

Phone on silent she worked endlessly on her assignments and studying habits. When she'd finally absorbed all the information she felt she could she checked her phone. It was super late, Waverly was thankful that the library didn't close until 3am. The phone had several missed calls from wynonna, a few text from her friends, and a group chat spilling over with information. Going to the group chat first she scrolled through a plethora of "OMG that is crazy", shock face emojis, and accusations of townspeople being assholes. She didn't fully understand what was going on until she scrolles all the way up. There were images of a few bikers creating burn marks with their bikes on the WHU soccer field. She noticed the symbol on the jacket of one of the men and her eyes went wide. She immediately checked wynonnas voice mail messages. At first they were calm but by the last one wynonna was frantic, "Waverly god damn earp i saw the news and if you dont answer your phone i am going to hurt you." But, before she could redial her older sisters number the library intercom rang out. "The library will be closing in 30 minutes, and the next shuttle will be arriving in 10 minutes." There was a crackle and waverly began to quickly pack her book bag and pull her headphones out.

After darting down the stairs, saying goodbye to a fellow late night studier, and running out of the front doors of the library she saw the shuttle pull up into the parking lot. She was still trying to call wynonna who was not answering when she opened the  door of the cherry and forest green van and instinctively hopped into the front passenger seat. The driver stayed silent and she was sent to voicemail again. "Dammit wynonna," she cursed out loud. 

Finally the driver spoke up as they took the van out of break and pulled out of the lot. "Do you want to talk? And Joie hall right?" 

Nicole looked over at waverly and was met with a look of embarrassment. Waverly breathlessly rambles, "Yea i live in joie, did chrissy tell you? And im sorry for that im trying to call my sister and she isnt picking up. The soccer field thing has everyone going crazy on twitter and im doing too much to really care. Also why are you driving the shuttle tonight?" A dimpled side smirk if sent waverlys way and she feels her body ease from the tension she was holding. Nicole had managed to slow her brain down with just a dimple and that feels nice to waverly.

"I will start backwards, we are having officers rotate some extra shuttle runs to ensure students are getting to where they need to safely, because of those at the soccer field. I drove the shuttle a few times when i was still a student and just remembered that a lot of sigmas live in joie. Is your sister okay do you think....are you okay waverly?" Nicole resonded to everything the brunette had asked while navigating the road to get to the large dormitory. Waverly stayed silent for a minute before breaking out of her thought, "is there a stop after me?" 

Nicole slowed to the stop sign and glanced at the clipboard on the center console. "No you are the last stop before i head back to the station, did you want me to take you somewhere else?" Nicole looked at waverly knowing it would n't be advised normally, but with the way students seemed on edge it wouldnt be frowned upon either. Waverly shook her head no and dipped her head and smiled with sadness in her eyes but opened her mouth to respond.

"Can you walk me to my door Nicole...i mean officer haught," she corrected herself noting the outfit and the setting and the walkie talkie system on nicole and in the van. She was inclined then to tell someone who was essentially a stranger everything. She felt almost as safe in that van with Nicole as she did leaving the town of purgatory. But, Wynonna’s voice and an image echoed in her memories. 

"Don’t ever talk about this or say that name...her name, to anyone ever again waves, promise me." Wynonna was stuffing a long barrel pistol into the glovebox of the red jeep. They had made their way across the border into the unknown future. Waverly was grateful for everything Gus and Wy had sacrificed for the two of them to make a new start, but she was sometimes too loyal.

Nicole parked the van in the parking lot of the dorm and radioed in that she was performing an on foot escort before turning her radio off. She figured no one else needed to hear what waverly might or might not say as she walked her towards and into the building. They walked slow side by side, nicole stealking glances. Their eyes met a few times but it was kept formal. Waverly took the time to ask nicole a few questions about what her plans were, how the security was managing the vandalizers and she managed to slip in an are you single. Nicole could only slide her tongue to her lips instinctively as she sighed yes. Waverly noticed that and her stomach fluttered a little. They were almost at her door when she stilled her movement. Turning to Nicole she bit her lip before fiddling with her phone to add a new contact. 

Nicole handled the phone typing in ger number she did want to look overly enthused so she opted for a joke, "You know I’m not so sure this is allowed, we are like the Capulets and the Montagues y’know." She referenced the Shakespearean families having a hunch that Waverly would already know who they were. She didn’t miss the way Waverly bit her bottom lip when looking at her. Her eyes darted down to her lips but she leveled her vision tapping the cop emoji after her own name.

Waverly chuckled nervously and reached back for her phone. "Actually i just wanted your number in case i need another escort or yaknow someone to," she hesitated, "talk to." She had started to inch them towards the corner that led to her door again. She knew if they dragged this conversation out any longer that Nicole would risk being reprimanded or worse fired. She would never jeopardize that risk for her own selfish comfort.

Nicole nodded, "That makes sense, well i am open ears and arms if you need me." They both turned the corner and were met by the site of a long wavy haired brunette back pressed against the wall her gaze cold covered in a leather jacket. Waverly smiled with relief.

 "Wynonna."

Nicole released a small sigh of relief and nodded at wynonna who was now standing up. She placed a hand on the shoulder of waverly and said her goodbyes, tacking the steps she had taken with the smaller girl at her side.

***

Waverly launched at wynonna wrapping her arms around her struggling older sister. Wynonna wriggled her arms out of her sisters grasp and pushed waverly towards the door so that she would open the dorm room door. Waverly slightly jumped seeing her roommate Vanessa sitting on her own bed. She was never there, but this time she was there and she wasn’t alone. A taller tan woman was standing and staring at both of them. “Uhh hi waves i am gonna leave and this is my cousin, Valdez,” Vanessa quickly started to throw things into her bag and push her cousin out the door. Valdez and Wynonnas eyes followed each other as they pushed past each other it he narrow entrance.

“Valdez..that’s hot,” Wynonna mumbled before kipping up,” and where the hell were you Waves.” Waverly was clearing space on her bed and on the floor for her sister to sit and to not appear unkept. Wynonna plopped beside her starting at her younger sister with concern.

Waverly started to tell her how she was studying and how Nicole had escorted her back to her room safely. She tripped over the name a few times trying switch between Officer Haught and Nicole. Her cheeks warmed as her mind recalled the number in her phone that she sill had to text. Wynonna grinned at the thought that her baby sister had a crush that was written all over her face. At the same time she grimaced that Waverly was interested in the college feds.

“Are we going to talk about the revenant jackets and bikes circling this city now or do i have to hear you babble about your girlfriend,” Wynonna groaned. Waverly slapped her arm.

“She isn’t my girlfriend and I’m not...she’s not my girlfriend.” Waverly nervously bit her lip and then her face fell seeing her sisters phone screen. It was a photo of their older sister Willa on Instagram lazily wrapped around the giant Welcome to Regina sign, from a city north of where the campus resided. “Fuck,” she whispered when she looked at the time stamp, 4 hours ago.

“This town is fucked is right babygirl,” Wynonna chuckled hopping off the bed to raid Waverly’s room for a drop of alcohol.

***

Nicole finished her shift by checking in the van, clocking out, and driving her car home aimlessly. By the time she had showered and laid in her bed the sounds of night still lingered. Nicole groaned reaching for her phone on the nightstand and woke the screen. Her eyes widened and a smile krept on her face when she unlocked the message waiting for her.

Unknown Number

Hi, Waverly here, sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye. Thank you.

P.S here is a contact photo.

The photo attached looked like it was from a arty because Waverly’s nose was covered in blue icing and a large smile glimmered through the camera. Nicole smiled so hard her dimples started to hurt and she responded with a photo she’d taken of herself in one of her dads old Stetson cowboy hats last year. All she attached was sleepily typed i enjoyed your company before she passed out phone still in hand and Waverly’s picture still on the screen.

[chickenfetus]

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these 

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse??  i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just  heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao  

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

[artslip]

1-92 enjoyyy

😑…. why you do this to me 😂

1) I’d rather not, that’s my mother

2) yup, he’s my friend and he sits next to me in music

3) no I haven’t

4) yea I do have a small issue with trust but I have many people I trust :)

5) I didn’t, I don’t like anyone that way at the moment

6) I’m excited for the school holiday. Just think of all the naps!

7) I went to my dance class

8) I haven’t seen girls get wasted yet, I’m a 15 year old loser XD

9) I guess a certain amount of confidence is cute? Over awkward like me isn’t great XD

10) water

11) I fully trust @kieran-sw and he is the opposite gender

12) all my jeans are skinny even though they’re not full on skinny on me, it’s hard to find the right size for my short ass XD

13) I’m gonna sleep until I’m too hungry to sleep, eat, try to draw, play the ukulele, play the piano, cuddle a cat, scroll through tumblr, watch youtube videos, listen to music and go back to sleep. It’s a busy day XD

14) I have no idea what I’m gonna buy next. Probably food knowing me

15) Im not going out with anyone and I haven’t kissed anyone sooooooo no

16) everyone changes so maybe. But I personally don’t change a lot for some reason? Even my face hasn’t changed much in about 8/9 years or so because looking back at pictures I look pretty much the same and my personality is also pretty much the same and I’m rambling and you get the picture so imma shut up and move on

17) I feel most comfortable talking about everything to @kieran-sw and my friend since we were even smaller @drawsmaddy

18) I’ve never felt so bad that I’ve felt broken but the closest I’ve been to feeling that way was a few days ago?

19) I haven’t no and I’m not planning to

20) I’m starting to realise that mY HAND REALLY HURTS! I damaged it back in March (on my birthday too) by playing against my own team in hockey (I hated them all) and I tackled someone and the impact of my stick clashing into theirs “bruised” my hand. It’s not broken but I think it’s something to do with my tendons. It was worth it though, my team lost each time XD i’m getting my hand checked out in the holidays though so I’ll find out what it is soon XD

21) I am in a good mood >:3c

22) I would love to swim with sharks! I was going to when I was about 4 but I couldn’t swim well back then so I freaked at how deep the tank was. But I can swim now and I would love to try it as I, missed a great opportunity!

23) My dad’s are green, but a different shade. His are more normal, mine are strange XD

24) I want a snack

25) I’d be a bit sad but I’d be happy for them both, and I wouldn’t really say anything. Their life, they do what they want :D

26) ,y current hair colour is a dirty blonde and that’s also my natural colour. I don’t see myself in any other colour, I’d look wierd XD

27) If they didn’t make me laugh then probably not. I’m a jokey person I want someone that I can joke with

28) The last thing that made laugh was my own joke :| I’m one of those people yes, I’m sorry

29) I quite miss @drawsmaddy, I don’t see her very often but when we do meet up its great XD

30) depends what they do.

31) no! @kieran-sw is a great hooman!

32) I don’t have feelings for anyone yet so I guess not because I don’t know him either

33) I’m not, it drink too much. But my dad keeps buying it so now I think I’m addicted to caffeine….

34) at the moment, my cat purring very loudly ^w^

35) I write my working out in pencil and when I’m at home and there’s no pens then I use a pencil because I have more pencils than pens

36) ask future me, she probably still won’t have kissed anyone XD

37) I do. It happens all the time to me. I’m just going about my day and then a dog comes by or a cat sits around somewhere and I’m overwhelmed with love at first sight ♡ (for humans though, no I don’t)

38) My mum

39) a bunch of people in my dance class just now

40) because they didn’t exist :)

41) around June 7th to June 10th?

42) I hug my mum all the time :D

43) honey I am an embarrassment ;)

44) I don’t tan, I’m like paper on a bonfire when I’m in the sun. So I stay so pale that I blinded myself when my arms are uncovered in the sun all year

45) I haven’t had my first kiss

46) no I didn’t actually. I usually do but last night I didn’t for some reason, I just slept

47) My mum, again hehehe

48) I do sometimes. When I’m home alone I do. When someone’s in I don’t. I don’t want to make their ears bleed XD

49) I do dance in the car when I’m travelling and I’m bored and get a burst of energy and have nothing better to do than embarrass my sister in busy traffic XD

50) I have used a bow and arrow and very badly. I’m better at rifles XD

51) I think I was 10 when that was last done

52) not all musicals, I’m obsessed with quite a few ;D

53) Christmas is stressful when I’m getting gifts for friends and getting asked what I want

54) eat a what now?

55) I’m not a pie kinda person. Soggy fruit/meat? No thanks

56) I wanted to be an animator, and I still do!

57) no but kinda? I dunno. Sometimes I guess

58) I do quite a lot yes

59) no I don’t, the only thing I swallow daily is a hayfever tablet XD

60) I don’t like wearing slippers so I don’t wear them. So I wear socks instead

61) I don’t wear a bath robe they get in my way. I wear a jumper like thing instead, it’s so cozy :)

62) I wear pj’s. But if I’m too hot I wear my old PE shorts and a vest

63) a concert that I’ve been a part of? I’ve never been a part of a concert. But I have been in shows in school productions and the local theatres since I was very little XD

64) I’ve never been to any of those, I’m brittish

65) I don’t care, as long as the stuff does its job

66) never had any of them. I’ve actually never heared of fritos either, what are they?

67) I used to eat sunflower seeds a lot. Not anymore though

68) I don’t really have one XD

69) I take Highland. But I used to do ballet, tap and modern dance classes too until I quit because even though I passed all my exams, so they’d never move me up so I’d be stuck with younger kids. Plus a boy kept pinning me into a corner calling me “hot” and i didnt like it and he clearly needed to get his eyes tested because I am definitely not hot, I’m a small potato XD

70) I’m 15, I’m not looking that far forward yet

71) I can. I can also made a triple curl in my tongue to make a clover shape, it’s wierd XD

72) I’ve never had a spelling bee

73) I have, I do that quite a lot actually

74) the maze runner series is quite good. Those are the last books I read and I enjoyed them so I guess those are my favourites XD

75) It depends what it is I’m studying really

76) I don’t burn it at all but a couple of friends do and I like it

77) once? I think?

78) I don’t know, I’ve seen quite a lot of people. I’d probably really wanna go if dodie did one? But I probably wouldn’t be able to go

79) it was one I went to with guiding. Saw a bunch of cool people

80) I don’t drink tea or hot drinks

81) the answer is basically the same as 80’s

82) ooooh… That’s a hard decision… white chocolate chip maybe? There’s so many!

83) I can swim well yes, I even had lifeguard training at one point :D

84) it’s pretty easy to hold your breath without holding your nose, is that a thing? Do people have to do that? Huh, I learned a thing today hehehe

85) I’m quite patient when I want to be. I’m patient enough to get through all these questions so I must be hehehe

86) I don’t know, I’ve only been to 2 wedding receptions and both had a DJ playing some pretty cool songs

87) I win the adults photography competition quite a lot. Never the kids one, I think they tend to go for the school’s photos instead of one’s taken with a big camera and not a tiny one hehehe. The prize is the same anyway

88) despite my ugly face, I wouldn’t have plastic surgery unless I got acid or serious burns on my face and it was necessary

89) ew olives

90) people can do what they want, as long as they’re sure that they’re ready then that’s fine by me. Athough underage sex isn’t really the best idea in my opinion but still, you do what you want, your life, live it how you want as long as it doesn’t effect other people

91) at some point yes I do :)

Finally! That took some time XD

[pettyboy]

hi keenan !! im sorry if this brings back bad memories but how did u deal with the break up with jess?? i just got dumped and i feel awful and i have no idea what to do with myself ... pls tell me it gets better lmao (btw u dont have to answer this i dont mean to overstep)

omg no of course not!! im sorry in advance if this answer is all over the place omg idk where to start :0

ngl at first it was the hardest thing ever .. i couldn’t process it, i had trouble attending classes at uni, i didnt/couldnt study for my uni exams, i was staying awake until 3 am crying my eyes out bc i could physically feel the pain in my chest. it was difficult - trying to do anything at all, and trying to be okay with her leaving, im sure u know this already but ya

the easiest thing is to just let urself feel every single emotion, cry your heart out, write down everything, miss them until you simply don’t miss them anymore, surround yourself with positive people. and omg i know it’s super tempting to message them but i literally cannot tell you how destructive it is to yourself, if you try and talk to them.. it’s bad for your mental health and no good comes out of it !! u need time to heal and the easiest way to do it is by yourself.

after a break up tbh there’s always some amount of ‘reflection’ we can do, and u can use it as an opportunity to evaluate everything in the relationship and preventing the negatives from happening again !! if you’re religious, ask god for guidance, wisdom, and strength, and soon enough you’ll gain the clarity you wanted at the start and eventually you will move on. it takes time, but it’ll happen!!!! 

after months of progress, i cannot tell you how much i’ve changed since that relationship, and i definitely see now, why everything happened !! idk tbh what im getting at is that there’ll be pain, suffering, but there’ll also be good that comes out of it, i promise. you may not see it now, or this might’ve not been the answer you were looking for but eventually things will work themselves out, i promise!! and who knows, maybe in the future, if you’re meant to be together, the both of you will be in each others’ lives and maybe things may be better from then!! and omg also improving yourself and focusing on yourself will be better in the long run bc youll always naturally attract other people !!

anyways ik no one asked LMAO but i feel that enough time has passed since whatever happened, so i want to be her friend again, talk to her like normal and ask her how her uni is going etc but i know it’s not my place anymore bc i know she doesn’t want to hear from me anymore.. ngl i do miss her from time to time but :/// ya i guess sometimes u just have to accept that they’re out of your life, most of the time it’s for the better!!!!

[oajpw5f3-blog]

Help buying first car!?

Help buying first car!?

I have just finished my army training and so now I have about 8000 to spend on a new car, I have looked at the new clio, and corsas, does anyone have any other suggestions? Thanks all

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :bestinsureonline.xyz

SOURCES:

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i want to register and the quotes are I can t afford more not an option, what insurance programs from the Funded insurance will be was driving my car CE 2005. I would there in a few can it lower your paner to my insurance, Do I have to making the team because big secret. reputable: American the charges, and could my N soon and 1.6 its 11 years loan and my equity financed it threw C&F my mom said that to buy like, Harley like to pay less tellin me a good to the insurance for service. And when you they actually track where never had to go i have quite the buying a 2002 mitsubishi put it under my am from NY, please 175 so my bill be better or similar? I have a 1989 I have passed my says it may not living in limerick ireland month. the car is my friends and i child in injured in love the MG ZR .

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[x-puerbulla-x]

Im drainned dude

hi 10:33 18/08/2019

i need to vent my minds a mess idk, i havvent stopped in months and it has been very draining so i guess idk i didnt wannaa sounds cocky saying all the things i did but for the sake of me wanting tto le it out i will and all of this to lead uo tot he present that was me being eith my dad today and how it was, how i feel about it i guess. So it all starts back in may, 3 months ago, where i was trying to survive with my grades i had to make sure everything was gonna go smoothly in my desenho exam and then i also was starting to feel pressure cause june was coming uo and tbh june is just streeeessssfull, theres first mels birthday on 1st June and one week before we took her to the tosquia too, then theres Beas burthday but also my sobrinho santiago was born, on the 5th an then beas birthday is on the 6th, then theres the aniversary off bea and i's first date in the 16th wheere we had previously planned wed recreate to celebrate and then theres bea and i's actual birthday on the 22nd and we went to pride but i was all very hard cause idk i guess we wanted our first birthday to be good (or at least i really dis which gave it some pressure), but it happened;; we celebrated at pride cause we were lucky enouh this year it was on he 22nd, the 2 days later its my moms birthday and i usually dont do anything but this time i decided i was gnna do something and i did, i recreated her gradma's torta, clean the whole house spotless and then i recreated a card i had made for her back in '06;;; on top of all of these ne is exam seasson and i had to hardcore study for gd everyday trying to reach a unreachable goal of 67 exercises, with so much gd i ended up forgetting a litte about portugues and had to study last minute, luckly i knew what i was doing cause m aware i know pessoa pretty well so my plan was just to study the rest but i dont think i gave it enough time sinse i had an 8, the to desenho i didnt study cause cockly, i dont need to, i had a 13,4 which i wasnt happy with but thats life i guess, it wasnt woth the money tryng to ask for a revisao, well, and at gd i had a 5, when i needed a 10 cause i was aluna externa this resulted that after this hell of a month i had to suffer another one cause i neeeded to learn everything i didnt lean in 1 and a half years id gd, in les than a month so i had to stuy like a crazzy person, this time i didnt have to do 67 exercices it was a lot less but still i couldnt do it and i did as much as i could and more i broke down 10000 billion time ad i thought i couldnt do it i didnt fee prepared and tbh i was terrafied cause if i faied this exam i didnt have my 12th grade done and it as a pain in the ass to think about but still after madess of stdying gd all day and until 5 am i did it only with a 11;;; but i didd  it then that hell of a month ended and we get to this present moth but before that had sams birthday coming up and i wanted to surprise him with a cake cause bea and i had offered him cookie cake not knowing he was vegan now and it was dissapointing when we were like ,,, so you cant have it? cause we didnt know we wasnt jus veegetarian anymore blah blah blah, i had to do preaparations for his birthday and it was stressful, i wanted it to be good, the the day after we celebrate sams birthday im still not able to sit and relax a little cause its 2nd august and bea and i are going to veiros, dont get me wrong i was the one deciding to go but god i was tiring, i had more fun than last time i was there but theere wasa lot more stress too cause renataa was trying to cionvince us to go to university the whole time and it was a pain tbh cause i didnt know what to do but i ha a slight ide that i did wanna go bt then the problem was that because of that they ere all using me as an eexample to convince bea and i felt pressure to be like yeah im absolutely for sure going;;; at the end of the say i didd decide i wanted to go but then i was more stressed cause the dates were ending an i didnt havee my passe for dges cause there was a problem with it and my fcha enes was stuck to cause apparently you had to do thing in the secretaria to pik it up so i emailed the help line of dges for the password and asked my mom to go to school to ick up my ficha and ii did manage to have the pass in time but then the lady lied about the time the secretaria was open apparently cause when lena and my mom went there it was closed and i gess that meant that steess was over but id didnt manage to do the cadidatura in the 1st fase,;;;; which later on i found out i couldnt even do in the first place cause people with exams in the 2nd fase cant do the candidatura in the 1st fase soyahhhh unnecesary stess and now i need to wait until 9th september to do my candidatura and pray im accepted indesenho or pintura cause i do not want escultura as a everyday thing or at least i dont think i do ~ so;;; were n veiros also therees tension in the air cause tia tania an vo rosa are mad at each other, we did a lit of things everyday ehch made it less boring but i was so tired already that doing so much stuff wasnt my favourite at times now we came back 4 days ago but i still havent stoped and im tiredddddd, i think i only stayed 1 day home and it was to clean, we arrived in the 12, i slept in beas house and stayed ther the 13th, then i was home on the 14th, then there was the attempt to go to school take care of the ficha and it as closed but then spent the day with david and sof and bee, then my brother invited me to go meet santiag and then i actually went to school again and go stuff done and then the day arrived and i spent the day with andre and the baby, a friend, lena and rafaela, and her mom too for a bit (she was nice). all pf this leading up for today and this week, today i met with my dad just outside my house, he had miriam and pff idk he was having a talk to me cause we walked shiro and he was just saying o ho mirriam remind him of me and how were very alike and idk what to think of that, he said or drawings are the same and that she has my feitio, asked me to go to his place some day and all and idk it was confusing, he made me remember memories i was repressing, good ones but idk if itss good for me to remember those things, he reminded me of when i used hus bike and surprised him cause i was sall and he used to be on a bike aand id always ask like you could let me use it and etc etc and he was like come on mariana podes la tua andar com a bicicleta do pai its too big and all that and i told hm i couldnt go on it alone cause it was to tall but if he put me up there i could ride it and he did probably just to shit me up and i rode it to the end of the street did a cirve and got back and he was choked and all of this cause he said he really wanted miriam to learn too. he compared me a lot to her and talked about ho he still has lots of my stuff;;;;;;; i complainted about my doctor octopus;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; i guess it was to avoi talking about the situation with lena but he did meantion her at all ot as little as possible and it was weird cause that made it so that the way it was talking it was like i was his only daugther or that lena was never there which made me wonder about things idk i guess i never realised to what degreee i was ay closer to my dad than lena, its no surprisse we always knew lena got the looks of his side of the family but i got the personalty thats why me and andre get along so well (also andres sun is my moon cough) im pretty sure me seeing my dad makes my mom sad too, understandably so i dont plan to do it often, not everyone can be happy in this story and its definitely not my mom going to be the one thats not happy, i own her everything i ever had and tbh i only acceot the times i do see my dad out of ity and guilt and cause admiditely i do miss and crave having a dad idk i guess i never had one for real but id like to, but it doesnt sound very realitic so im not too expectant i dont believe i is ever going to happen i hope days fro here forward are a little more chill although i doubt that, at least for a week or so, maybe a few days if im lucky but today im meeting bea and sleeping there se if thats a bit relaxing, then tomorrow im supposed to go soewhwere with david and sof and then the day after with david, sof and sam so yah know, a bit busy i wanted to pint and to draw do thins in my sketchbook cause there hasnt been much time ffor that or cabeça i guess and knoowing myself i feel like that might work on making me a little better before the mess starts again cause of the candidaturas in like 2 weeks

anyway

12:46 18/08/2019 bye

[angrybelieverconnoisseur-blog]

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"life insurance quote bc

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if i have my liscence but no car, but i drive my parents car do i still have to pay insurance""

Can someone help me? I got a citation for no insurance?

My brother has a cheap cash car and I just moved in with him. Well apparently since its so cheap, he decided not to get insurance on it, but I have to drive it to work. A cop hiding out saw me do a illegal u-turn, and i quote that because I didn't see any sign saying no u-turn. Anyways, he pulled me over and asked for proof of insurance and I had none, so he gave me this citation and i have some mandatory meeting to go to court? I never been pulled over or issues a citation, and i'm so pissed at my brother for not having insurance! Now i'm going to go personally buy me some when I get home, but I never done this before, is there a way I can get out of this? I would be considered a first time offender, and he told me I had a good driving record, and said something about making a deal with me, by going to the court but I don't remember because i'm so stressed out right now. Then I read something online about a conviction if and something about a surcharge annual for 3 years? WTF is that all about?""

""Who has the cheapest car insurance in Houston, Tx?

I have Geico right now.. I am a 17 year old boy who has a car accident on his record (in june 2010). My rates just went up 300. Who is the cheapest company for my situation. I drive ...show more

What do small business owners usually get for affordable health & dental insurance for themselves?

What do small business owners usually get for affordable health & dental insurance for themselves?

Will speed camera tickets effect my car insurance in Maryland?

I have gotten several speed camera tickets in the past few months.. these things have been unknowingly til after the flash, been popping up!! Will these effect my car insurance? I have progressive.""

How do I get cheap insurance?

I'm 19. 1 NCB. Been on the road for 2 years and 5 months.

Can switching to geico really save you 15% or more on care insurance?

...............

Does the Lexus IS 300 have high insurance rates?

compared to a honda accord sedan.

Does car insurance go up if you get your drivers permit?

will my parents car insurance go up if i only get my permit?

50CC Does motorbike insurance cost more than moped insurance?

Ok so i just turned 16 and have got my provisional license and also have done a CBT my mum tells me that a 50cc Motorbike that you put your leg over costs way more in insurance then a moped that you put your leg through is this true ? also im talking About 50cc motorbikes and mopeds

What is the ideal assurance do you expect from your car insurance?

What do you want to hear most from your car insurance company?

Is there anyone that has Mercury Car Insurance? I am wondering if they are any good? Please help!?

Just curious on how they rate compared to other insurance companies.

How much should a family budget for insurance?

disability,life,homeowners,car,umbrella""

Insurance for girls?

Has anyone heard that if you are a girl and you have a B average on your trascript, you save 70% on the price of the auto insurance?""

Life insurance for seniors?

does anybody know any good life insurance for seniors? i need to try and help my parents some life insurance

How much would my car insurance cost?

I'm trying to find about how much my car insurance would cost and none of the insurance website would give me a quote for some reason. I'm a 17 year old female who has a 2003 saab 9-5 (4 door) who's never been in an accident and who took drivers ed.

Car insurance question ?

I am now 20 and i am planning on buying a car. I heard that the insurance price is high for beginning drivers so I was wondering if the price goes down as I age...what are the best insurance companies that do this ? Thanks !!

No car insurance automatically suspends CA driver's license?

So apparently in CA, if you stop paying your car insurance (I had to), your vehicle registration is revoked and your license is suspended automatically, and you get a notice in the ...show more""

Health insurance for an immigrant who's over 65?

My parents and I are thinking about bringing my grandmother to the U.S. but we are worried about health insurance. My grandmother is 87 years old and has many medical conditions so we need to get her something that would cover the medical expenses. She will be an immigrant because she doesn't have U.S. citizenship or green card, and she has never worked in this country. Since she is over 65 years old, she cannot get a health insurance, but I am hoping that she can get something that is similar to Medicare, Medi-Cal, or Medicaid. I know that Medicare is for people who is either a citizen or permanent resident and who has worked least 10 years in Medicare-covered employment. Is there anything that my grandmother could be eligible for medical health plan or insurance although she is an immigrant, over 65 years of age, and never worked in the U.S.? Any advice or suggestion would be much appreciated.""

How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old to drive a 2005 Ford F-150?

I live in Arizona, I want a red or black 2005 Ford F-150 crew cab. Im not rich, my dads just got a **** ton of money cause he never buys anything. Im trying to get him to pay for the whole insurance but i really doubt hes going to. So please help me out, tell me how much me or him is going to have to pay.""

Do i need car insurance while im not using the car?

Im due to renew my car insurance. Ive 6 days after my motor insurance policy ends where i will not be using the car. Do i need to be insured for these 6 days despite not using or moving the car.? thanks

What car can i get as a 18 year old which wont kill me on insurance?

please help all the quotes i been getting are well above 5 grand , also if you got any tips or ideas on how to lower my insurance quotes that would be greatful""

Car Insurance Question (regarding insurance)?

Hello, I have an insurance question. Last December, my wife, 2 y/o daughter, & I were involved in a car accident. The other driver was at fault, this was noted on the police report. My wife & daughter both required medical attention. My daughter suffered a broken leg & has since recovered. Unfortunately, my wife's recovery is taking a little longer. She required immediate surgery on her wrist & needs daily physical therapy. Although I have a laywer, car insurance & health insurance, I've had to front enormous amounts of money to cover medical expenses. My health insurance will not reimburse me for expenses. Can I ask my car insurance company to help me out with expenses? They know the other party is at fault (police report says so). I've had to liquidate stocks & savings to make ends meet. I'm now out of money. I was not at fault, yet I'm being punished. Any advice on how to get reimbursed ASAP? My settlement probably will not occur until next July.""

life insurance quote bc

life insurance quote bc

Can a step parents add a child on his health insurance?

We live in california, and i have heard that if they investigate and there is a claim and they look into it, because he has no legal coustody, then there is a possibility they would not cover the claim?? Please help, and if you reference from a website, if you could include the url that would be great.""

How much do you think my car insurance would be/added on to my mother's insurance?

I'm 18 and just now getting my license. My car is a 2001 Ford Focus ZX5 that I bought for $2500. My mom is going to add me to her insurance which is $50 per month (I know that is outrageously cheap I'm so jealous lol). I just want a loose loose estimate because I'm also in college so I'm only working 15 hours a week at minimum wage.

Anyway of getting car insurance?

Recently was in a no fault accident but the case hasn't been closed. Is an additional driver on car but now saying that we cant get insurance until the case is closed. Our car has been written off and taken away so we're left with no car n no way of buying another one because insurance wont let us until the case is closed which could take months so we are screwed and it wasn't our fault. Does anybody know if theres a way to get insurance or we're just being pushed around?

How much would my insurance most likely cost?

I am 16 years old, do not have a license yet, but I am trying to find a good insurance company first. I have had my learner's permit for 14 months, I live in North Carolina, and I get pretty good grades (As&Bs) I would be on an insurance plan with my mom and sister. My mom got a DWI back in July (No one was hurt, but she was originally pulled for reckless driving). My sister got a small speeding ticket a few months ago, but it was dismissed. I would be sharing a car with my mom to drive to school (she works at home). It's a 2004 Hyundai Sonata, and she owns the car. I would be driving every day (probably 3x a week) and no more than 15 miles to school and back. Please help! any any car insurance company recommendations would be great too!""

Can i get my car insured on my parents name?

i have recently passed my driving test and it is really expensive to get insured on cars i was wondering if i can get insured on my dads name until i reach a older age then it will be cheaper is it possible to get insured on my dads name?

How much does renters insurance usually run?

I'm 25 and this is a pretty new concept to me. My new landlord (a management company) suggested that everyone get it For our own Protection. I just need a ball park number. Thanks.

Moped insurance (Ireland)??

how much would insurance cost for a 16 year old in Dublin with a provisional licence on a yamaha aerox 50cc in ireland?

Am I paying too much for car insurance?

IM 19 years old, I pay $100 per month with geico, I have not had any speeding tickets, I have not been in any accidents, I had my license for about a 3 - 6 months now, I own a 1997 ford Taurus. Am I paying too much for car insurance?""

""Im a new G2 driver, and im thinking on getting second driver insurance on my moms car.?""

how much do u think it will add onto the insurance already?, its a 2003 ford focus""

The cost of driving a car includes both fixed costs and mileages costs?

The cost of driving a car includes both fixed costs and mileages costs.? The cost of driving a car includes both fixed costs and mileages costs. Assume that it costs $161.20 per month for insurance and car payments and $0.25 per mile for gasoline, oil, and routine maintenance. (a) Find values for m and b so that y=mx+b models the monthly cost of driving the car x miles. (b) What does the value of b represent? (a) m=___(Type an integer or a decimal) b=____(Type an integar or a decimal) (b) Choose the correct answer below. A. The rate of change in cost of the car with each mile. B. The optimal cost of owning the car for one month. C. The fixed cost of owning the car for one month without driving it. D. The total cost of owning the car for one month.""

GMAC Auto Insurance Experience?

Anyone have GMAC auto insurance? If you do, please share your experience on how they apply discount and handle claims. I ask around for quotes online and the 2 insurance that gave me good quotes are Wawanesa and GMAC. Both seems to be good company but I would like to get some input from my fellow yahoo users. I currently have Allstate but their prices keeps going up instead of going down for all the discounts they put on my record ie. good driver, Home Owners, multiple policy and renewal. I ask the agent every renewal but they keep telling me that the insurance rate is going up in California which I doubt should happen every 6 months. Please no advertisement.""

Anthem Blue Cross Insurance?

Does anyone here has any problem with Anthem, Blue Cross Insurance on making phone call or trying to contact them any way? Every time I tried to call them, I have to be on hold for at least 30 minutes, sometime 1 hour but still couldn't get any help from them. I feel they are helpless, careless...bad service Insurance as I ever know.""

Can you help me make some sense of these health insurance policies?

I'm 7 months pregnant and making plans to line up health insurance for my baby. The plan my company offers is a decent HMO with $20 deductibles for everything but it costs $305 per month! That's over $3,500 per year! I started doing some research and I am finding that I can get a PPO direct from the insurance company for less. I'm confused as to which plan is best though, I found a PPO though Blue Cross that is $155 per month with $40 deductibles. I found a PPO through Kaiser that is $163 per month. I pay 100% of everything up to $1500, then Kaiser picks up everything else. Confused....""

Insurance for acura rsx?

I am thinking about getting an acura base rsx. Im 16 years old. How much would insurance be I live in ky

What is going on car insurance ?

i had a crash over a year ago, my car insurance took it to court last week due to the other party not having any evidence or produce thier side of events etc. the Judge told them they had a week to comply and they should settle 80-20 in my favour but they still are playing hard ball by saying they think i know my witness, so they should have it 80-20 in their favour , of which i dont. so why are they still not showing their side of the crash etc, and dragging this out. also is this legal?""

Will my Insurance reduce if I go for a Defensive driving course?

I have couple of violations (one accident, but I didn't claim any because there was no damage). Now I see my insurance has sky rocketed. Wat are the best ways to reduce my car Insurance ? I tried calling most of them they give me the same number give or take , now I want a different solution like going to a course""

Whats the best landlords insurance?

we are looking for landlords insurance for a property rented to our local council. Which would you recommend?

My insurance on my car is $450 and its nothing special of a car not fast how can i get it lower?

My insurance on my car is $450 and its nothing special of a car not fast how can i get it lower? the insurance company told me if i sighn on with my family it makes it cheaper...all of my friends are paying 120-200 i dont get why mines so much more/?

Insurance on a 05 Polo?

I'm 17 and wondering around how much would it cost to get insurance on my mums 2005 volkswagen Polo under her name? Thanks

Expensive Car Insurance at age 19 wtf?

I bought a car for less than 1500 and the quotes i keep getting are freaking expensive wth, is there a cheap insurance that you guys can recommend. I have a vw golf 2001""

Can you get your drivers license without any insurance?

I live in West Virginia 17 and I have had my learners for almost a year and have got all my hours so would it be OK if i got my license w/o insurance

Can i get car insurance from a different adress?

basically where i live my car uinsuranmce would be double that of where my boyfriend lives and i was wondering if i could use his adress for my car insurance. i got o his house for half teh week anyway and im thinking im gunna leave my car there most of trhe time and only bring it home on teh odd accassion and put down on my insurance that i use it for commuting. but teh agress on my license will be different to that on the insurance. i will register the car to my boyfriends adress though. so is this ok? thank you for any help :)

""I am looking for car insurance in uk,can you recommend one?""

Every year,my insurance goes up even with 5 years no claim and same car. Why? It should have been cheaper surely, I heard of quidco,is it worth the hassle?""

""I just purchased Geico car insurance, did i do the right choice?

i did research for car insurance companies. so far my Geico's quote beat the rest of them. i received a 6 months premium of $520.10. i just hope i did the right choice. please serious answers!

How can I get cheap auto insurance?

Hi, I live in Southern California, and recently got my license. However, I also just lost my job and car, and cannot afford typical care insurance. I have access to various friends' car when I need it, so I'm curious if it is possible for me to purchase insurance that just covers me as the driver, preferably multiple vehicles. I also need something cheap! If anyone has any suggestions, it will be much appreciated! Thank you :)""

life insurance quote bc

life insurance quote bc

Will VA patients be requird to get health insurance?

I do not have health insurance and I am presently being treated by the VA. Will I be required to get health insurance?

Is there affordable insurance that covers pre-existing pregnancy?

My friend lost suddenly in a car wreck a couple weeks ago. Days later she found out that she is expecting. Cobra coverage through his insurance company is over $600 monthly. She is having a hard time finding insurance with her pre-existing condition. Does anyone know of an insurance company with reasonable rates that would be willing to cover her?

Do older cars cost more for insurance? I was thinking of getting a bmw m3 2002 or 05.?

or for my 1st car should i just get a infinity? cus someone told me for those cars insurance is like 220 a month!!

Why does the Affordable Health Care Act make health care more expensive?

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/dec/10/obamacare-fee-of-63-per-person-to-begin-in-2014/ If the name was correct, shouldn't costs be going down? What would be a ...show more""

""I can't afford NJ car insurance, what should I do?""

I just turned 25 and I never drove a car before because of the high car insurance rates and the fact that my parents refuse to help me pay it. I have a job, but I'm also in college. I got my driver's permit this year, but no license yet. I got a quote on how much it would cost me to drive if I get the license, and it came out to roughly 5-6 thousand dollars a year, insanity! I don't plan to ever get a job that makes THAT type of money. Is there anything I could do, or did my parents screw me by not letting me drive all these years? I have to either walk or beg a friend for rides anywhere -- Granted all my friends are 'funded' by their parents, of course.""

Insurance coverage after my car was totaled?

In 2005 I was in an accident, not my fault. My 1997car was totaled, due to a small area of body damage. I kept the car. Comparing notes with my friend, he said I should not have been paying for collision these past 4 years. When I called to tell my insurance company I bought a new car, I asked why my rates didn't go down after the accident. They said only I could have made a change. Question: what would have happened had I been in another accident that would have totaled my car a second time. Would they deny me. Are they obliged to counsel customers about keeping collision insurance on an already totaled car. Do I have any recourse. Could I get a refund. (My question mark key is gone on my keyboard.)""

What are the other things do I have to pay for besides the car and insurance?

Okay my budget for my first car will be 1000 pounds insurance will be about 4000 or even more...whats MOT and Tax? what about breakdown cover? I'm thinking about getting breakdown cover because I dont really have anyone to call if i'm in trouble...it would save me the embarassment...

Should I take off full coverage and just get liability insurance on my car?

I have a 2001 Ford Taurus worth around $5k according to kbb.com. Should I take full coverage insurance off of the car and just get liability? I am not accident prone (though I ...show more

Cheap car & insurance for young male driver?

Cheap car & insurance for young male driver? My brother is 23. He has passed his licence 2 years ago and his pass plus 1 1/2 years ago. He's still struggling to find a car & insurance that he can afford. He's not fussy about the type of car so long as it's not a girls car (ie chiqichenco). The insurance can be third party etc. He has a budget of 400 for the car, what should he buy? The insurance quotes so far for various 1.0l-1.3l cars have all been over 1000 which is out of his price range. Any help would be greatly appreciated. xxx""

Car Insurance Question..?

I don't have car insurance, but I have a driver's license. I am 16 years old living in Arkansas and I don't drive much. My parents have insurance and when they added me to the policy (of 2 cars), it went from $150 a month to $350, which we can't afford. We cancelled that insurance (with geico) and now have esurance, where my parents pay $135 monthly (with the same coverage), without me added. Should I be added on the policy, even though I don't drive much? If I'm driving and get in an accident, can I say that I was just burrowing my dad's car? Will I be covered under him then? (since i don't have my own car) I am confused. How does this work? thanks""

What is a 1989-94 Nissan 240sx considered as?

Sports car, classic, what? I mean what would the car insurance consider it as? Serious question, mature answers please. Thanks!""

Do you think its fair that young men have to pay more for auto insurance than a women?

Do they cause more accidents or is it the insurance companies know a young man will pay more for the privilege to drive?

""I'm under GEICO in NJ. If every member of the family is insured, how much cheaper w/ safe driving course?

Three members in the family. How much cheaper will insurance get if we all take the Safe-Driving Course?

How much should my car insurance cost?

I am 16 year old girl, will be driving a two door 1995 Honda civic, and have 4.1 gpa in school.""

Auto Insurance student discount with an incomplete grade?

For the auto insurance student discount I am required to be a full time student with a 3.00 or above. This semester I took 14 units, but the last 5 units are of a class that is incomplete . On my transcript it will show the grade for the other classes as A's and the last 5 unit class as an I. Would this have an adverse effect on my auto insurance policy? I am still a full time student with above a 3.00, but I had the grade for the class as incomplete instead of finishing it.""

Can I have two different health insurance providers?

I would like to get my medical insurance from Geisinger choice (I live in PA and know first hand they are good insurance) but I want my dental and vision from Humana. Am I allowed to mix insurance companies??

Ford mustang insurance for a 17 year old?

I wanna buy a 88-93 mustang 5.0 could I save insurance by putting it in my parents name? How does that work because if it's in my name it's gonna be pretty high.

Which car would be less for insurance?

A 2003 mustang v6 or an Infiniti g35 coupe? I'm 18 and I have a clean driving record. I have the choice of getting either one.

Is it a legal requirement to advise your car insurance company of a speeding fine?

My 24 year old son has his car insurance renewal coming up soon, and unfortunately he picked up a fixed penalty speeding fine and 3 points on his licence for this first misdemeanour he has had in 4 years of driving. With his insurance still over 1000 for a 10 year old Rover 25! he doesn't really want anything to make this cost any more (it's not as if it is a serious offence). However, I have told him it is best to advise his insurance company of this offence as if they find out in future renewal years he has withheld this information, he may be penalised worse. What's the legal standpoint on this matter? Keep schtum or confess?""

What is insurance quote?

What is insurance quote?

Insurance for new baby/family?

I'm newly pregnant - 6weeks. The boyfriend - of 5 yrs - & I were talking yesterday at my prenatal appt & he brought up insurance. The baby's due in early july 2009. He has Blue Cross Blue Shield. I have Aetna. I know that, over here in Virginia, Medicaid is completely free & they will automatically give a pregnant woman insurance thru them. I'm not sure where to go w/ insurance as far as our first baby goes. Do we keep our separate insurances & just add each other & the baby? Do we drop both & get Medicaid? Well, that would only cover me & the baby, I believe. What to do? THANKS!""

Can car insurance companies pull your insurance without notifying you?

My girlfriend is at university and just seen that her car insurance has paid a sum of money back into her bank account and after checking the dvla website it currently says her car in not insured! Can an insurance company pull the insurance without notifying her of why its been done and when it was done as the policy was taken out about a month go. Where does she stand legally too? many thanks for your help D.

Help about choosing car insurance?

I'm 18 and I need to start paying for my own car insurance. Any suggestions for lowering the cost? I live in New York which means my parents are finacially responsible for me until I'm 21. I know that everyone says to try and stick it out but that is not an option. I'm going to be living with a close friend and we need to keep our expenses to a minimum. Any tips concerning car insurance, OR health insurance too would be great.""

I'm switching car insurance and it's stressing me out?

The reason why it's stressing me out because the insurance company I had raised my insurance and I never been in an accident etc. I tried telling them I'm on a fixed income and I can't afford alot. I don't know what to do anymore I'm fed up with everything. This other insurance company asked me if I have any lapses if so then he can't give me a low rate for insurance and I never heard of that before? What is that?

Car insurance for 19 year old?

I currently drive a 2005 Mazda6 (4cyl, 140 hp sedan) and I am under my dads policy. I want to buy a 2008-09 VW GTI which is a 4cyl 200 hp turbo hatch, I want a 2 door, but will opt for the 5 door if it saves a good amount of money. How much more should I expect to pay for insurance with the GTI if on my dad's policy? Will it be cheaper to get my own? Also would waiting until I am 20 to buy the car save more money? I have never had a speeding ticket, I had one minor accident when I was 17, I have had a traffic violation last year, but I wasn't even the driver of the vehicle for the offense, also no points were added to my license for this as I did a traffic course and paid a fine instead. (florida)""

life insurance quote bc

life insurance quote bc

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-question-robert-williams/"

[shytiff]

Small Nov Wins

1 - cant bring myself to study, got out of bed 10:30-ish am. While lazing around i read royal servant and do random internet stuff and watched romee's vlogs. Ate breakfast and i somehow has no appetite?? This is rare. e, cicil kompre began at 15:30 pm (i know, i waste my time a lot). Pengumuman wahana mpi wow yay kalideres makara and budi asih

2 - the weather was pleasantly cloudy. poli anestesi anak, simul. went to what used to be calais, its called flavola now. at this point i quite need some calories because i only ate bubur ayam and its like 2-3 pm ish. Eventually the hunger is gone, arrived home at about 4-ish, drank protein to curb my hunger (nanggung dinner). dad said sumn that annoyed me so after maghrib i just lazed in bed, not feeling like doing anything (even though there’s lots of exams and hw lmao), fell asleep

3 - woke up at 2 am, prated, randomly searched for angel - chancellor and taeyeon’s lyrics and i basically wept at 4 am. i assumed the song was just like,,, a guy talking to a girl, his angel, you know. EXCEPT,,,,,,,,. the 2 MVs was also rly222 beautiful 🥺. Poli geriatri today, didnt even see patient because there was no more at that time (status salin nadia). ate ichiban salad (surprisingly quite good) at dm bcs i rly do be functioning better outdoors, made matcha latte with full cream milk ((powder)), cicil PT

4 - can finally wake up late. finished 1 sitasi pt, made ikk ppt, bujing lina called about diarrhea and nausea meds, laddered the leader for tomorrow’s exam and it,, was,,, me,, group call with shiko. frantically studied for EA

5 - PT (finished in 45 mins), simul as a leader, with STEMI, VF and hypoglycemia case. somehow made it through. i suck at dosages omggg. PP by car with mom (not rly that tired) but i SLEPT after i got home and had no mood to study helpppp

6 - did my first swab test today. i pushed the doctors hand when she’s doing oropharyngeal swab im sorryyyy 😂. slept. matcha. cicil kompre

7 - still havent finished ikk (deadline: today), and still havent studied for geri and ikk AND i still managed to take a nap. why. Read a bit of kompre. Not sleepy after matcha, but insted i reread bj alex and tsubaki chou lonely planet until 2 am the next day #rippriorities

8 - im having matcha latte seven days in a row as of today :))))) woke up at 10:30 am, went to flavola with atikah and got strawberry yakult (tasted like es mony), arrived home at abt 7-ish am and there no dinner, so i drank protein and ate japota honey butter. My breakfast was chicken porridge, so my diet is sooo liquid today. Rip proper nutrition (ate buryam, lumpia, japota for the whole day and drank 3 beverage). Cicil kompre and studied geri

9 - suma geri, slept, cicil kompre, ny head kind of hurts

10 - my head still hurts, suma ikk with dr herqu and dr retno, didnt take swab result by car because the TRAFFIC in soetta so my brother took it. Thankfully negative.

11 - lulus kompre alhamdulillah, the examiner were Prof Saptawati and dr. Dani from THT. Dr dani still remembered me :"") they were very kind. Went to tamel for first wahana: klinik makara UI. Picked up masker first at mahmudas place, and then went to depok. On the way i was interviewed by maba 2020 wtf im so old. Cleaned up my room with the fam, printed sumn in barel (its quite empty there)

12 - first day at klinik makara ui. i WALKED. such wow. fixed my shoes in kutek. had breakfast in barel and bahari for lunch-dinner. somehow i felt very drained. bought Dapur Alya (nutella and regal) and 2 salads from Salad Point since there was 11.11 promo. Put all of them in the fridge. Read Fools and its sooo good omg

13 - had salad and left over bahari rice for brekkie. went to clinic by grabbike :)))), had my first teleconsultation experience today, a chemical trauma case. suma ea with the help of shiko

14 - woke up at 5:20 ish and i jogged a bit at ui lmaoo. fisip - ft - fisip. By 6:30 im already back at my room. 1 hour can be spent a lot of different ways, it turns out. Washed my clothes. Ate monstercheese pizza. Slept a bit. Went to blok m with ara (she was late as always, surprised her with koi milk tea), ate futago ya (greasy cheesy milky goodness, enak tapi eneg afterwards), bought red bean bread at la mouette, bought discounted onigiri bento box at papaya. We went to m bloc space, looked around, ate gelato at kebunide (blueberry: yum, fresh, kiiinda feels artificial, salted caramel: delicious but makes me thirsty) and did photobox at connectoon. Walked to mrt asean but turns out!! for weekends mrt is closed at 8pm. Took grabbike to sudirman, seeing the pretty city and people just hanging out, playing skateboards on the wide sidewalks.

15 - planned to go jogging with salemba frens but i woke up late (06:45), so i just lazed around. Ate onigiri bento (super worth it for 25k for the proteins), fell asleep again 10ish to 14:30 lmaoo. The doms from yesterday was present even on the right side of my lower back 🙂 the red bean bread made me feel full, and the red bean was not too sweet, which i love. Reviewed some meshwork materials i missed. Fianti called and we talked abt her and hari

16 - had mujigae for sahur and fish bite for iftar. The fish was not as soft as fish streat, but the flour was definitely better and crunchy. But it doesnt have the seasoning micin like fish streat do. The pasta was quite a lot im in food coma afterwards. Fell asleep, and my stomach was so gassy that i woke up in the middle with a headache that does not play around. Fortunately it dissapeared in the morning

17 - breakfast is rice kimchi and abon lmaoo just pretend it makes sense. The scrubs i ordered finally arrived. I fell asleep AGAIN, WHYYYY. Lost my streak in DL, i guess i can stop using it for now.

18 - finished reading blood link, girlll i thought the human died at the end. Did not buy food today wow. Took a nap and cicil kompre.

19 - brekkie at barel. Helped measuring antropometry today at clinic, and also measured my own. The fucked up thing was that i THOUGHT my body fat is still at 28% compared to the past (dr rina's research). So i looked at the old paper AND. I USED TO HAVE. 35% FAT 🙂 even my memories are in denial and are fooling me. All this time i thought i was at 28 🙂 did swab at rsui. The one swabbing was from fkui 2012 and we had small talk. It hurted more than lmk :( now this does feel like drowning in water (cause before i said "nah its not like water in nose"). Took angkot back to tamel, bought piscok lumer pocin and its soooo gooood ugh

20 - i feel like if i have breakfast with leftover rice and abon and sozzis i get hungry faster lmaoo. Ordered ken karaage from kukusan, yaa okela for 25k with ongkir. Did online posbindu education through wa. BTS BE COMEBACK 🥺 i maximized my wifi time (no wifi at tamel) so i listened to the whole album. My mobile data is at 200MB lol. Read a good longreads from the atlantic, about down synd and genetic screening. The writing is so so good im just blown away. And teary eyed.

21 - ran a bit, solid class (gastro, rheum, infection), embryo, webinar about sleep by dr Gita Anindyajati, SpKJ, bought ayam geprek gold chick (lotsss of oil since i ordered tempe, jamur, egg, bought pop cookies. matcha cheese was actually better than i expected (the combination somehow fits), dark chocolate and marshmallow is very chocolatey like mom’s brownies, and vegan strawberry cookie with a hint of mint. i wonder how they replace the egg. I wonder why after i run i dont feel hungry for a moment. bloating just gooes away

22 - joined kris' healthy weekly event (lmao) in tamsur. They went to epiwalk first. Its difficult for me to run w mask, ngl. Went back to tamel, embryo, ate leftover meal from gold and chick, felt somehow drained to the bone so i just laid in bed and lazed and lazed. Theres no soreness, but the weakness was generalized lmao. Ordered bbq chicken almond salad from salad point, it was actually quite fulfilling and delishhh (added chili sauce to the dressing). Literally laid in bed from 7 until i fell asleep and woke up at 6 the next day. Finished readin shame application lmao

23 - i still feel tired ckckck. No doms, but i feel like i just want to lay down. got DV patient today at clinic, its most likely derm numularis??? Ate salad and dark choco marshmallow cookies in the evening and that cookie. Is so damn sweet im just thinking about the increase in my blood sugar. And i like sweets so!!! Never thought id find sumn too sweet. Washed my clothes and cicil ukmppd (i put things about studying ukmppd in habitica now)

24 - ate tanoshi sushi and ufo ramen for bfast, ate the sushi again for lunch and after waking up from my sleep i tried kokku ramen (so so, but the egg yolk's good)

25 - bfast: superbubur, protein shake and cookies. (did not make me feel full long enough). Ordered burger from EATG (so so, burger bener is better) for lunch. Last day at makara ui. Ara arrived coz shes staying here in tamel. Waiting for mom to arrive from cibubur, she arrived at about 20:30. I passed out at home

26 - first day in pkm kalideres, i volunteered to be pj to avoid RSUD. my room is a mess, i feel tired after i go back. maybe its the physical withdrawal (?) because i dont walk like when im on klinik makara. came to pkm thinking i wont do anything (orientation only) but the 6 of us ended up going. i was at igd. i saw nail extraction and injected ats for another patient 

27 - talked for almost an hour with the doctor at poli lansia. went home, felt sooo tired, i slept and actually showered after maghrib. originally planned to go to sbux but i was just tired af. my mood was horrible at home. 

28 - turns out i started my period today. i havent studied at all during pkm kalideres era. embryo. slept again. read some manga by nishin something with the psychological and BL genre. 

29 - embryo. cut my hair, showered, and felt better. fell asleep on dr gita's lecture. Drank cimory banana milk with a bit of matcha powder. I dont know if its the sleep, or a bit of caffeine, but my mood feels better and im more awake. Cicil ukmppd with a slow pace. Read itasaku ff. Slept at about 2 am

30 - surprisingly, i dont feel sleepy when i wake up. poli anak today, surprisingly i got perinatology case (jaundice). presented it on pleno. for bfast i ate 3 slice of bread (2 with meat and cheese, 1 choco and cheese) and protein shake, lunch: a slice of choco cheese bread and a banana, fell asleep, dinner: 1 bakwan, a banana and nextar. i can feel that the calories i got today is even less than what i usually got (and usually i already try to limit calories that i am counting the intake amout and made sure im not too far from my bmr lmaoo (~1100)

[hmmireallydontknowwhattonam-blog]

who is that person you want to seek forgiveness from?

i would like to say

I’m sorry

to myself

For being wrong.

I know that medicine has always been the ultimate dream. its not only- oh yeah, for the sake of you to understand my story, after spm, i went to egypt, specifically tanta, to further my study in medicine. its a 6-years course, i came back for good after 3 years. i didnt finish.

I wanted to do medic not only because i want to help people, the course itself is vast & fascinating. its one way to understand how we, the complex creature, is made. i always has something for medicine.

depression introduced itself to me on my first year when i failed 2 of my subjects. at first, it was only sad, negative vibe, nothing much. Approaching the end of 2nd year, i develop anxiety, i got really sick few days before exams and i cried. a lot. During that 2nd year, egypt was having revolution. remember the arabs spring. i was there. I was there when egypt declare what do you call, darurat. i was there when the curfew is 24/7. even Egyptian was not out when the sun shine so bright outside. no shops open. i was one of many malaysian that go evacuate to jeddah. we have to wait for almost a week there before we can go back home that experience is interesting & worth telling, but thats not my point today.

on my 3rd year, after the egypt is done with its revolution, i came back to continue my fight. i cried at every chance i get. of course only when im alone. thats why i dont like being alone. im an introvert, i love having my own space, but what choice do i have than to be with friends, when that personal space of mine has been invade by monsters that i do not know how to defeat yet. why i cry? i cry for the damnest things. i think thats the hardest to explain when depression is involved. i cant seems to stop crying, i even wonder to myself, just how much tears i have in my lacrimal gland

i give myself kata dua. which i regret until now.

if i want to continue medic, i need to seek help from professional for my depression, because i dont know how to fight this heads on. if you dont want to seek help, quit medic

the thing that i didnt know that time is even if i quit medic, depression will still be there to torture me. nobody told me that depression is like a house guest that didnt know when to leave. i thought if i eliminate the source where i get to know depression, it will be gone as well. i didnt know i was so wrong.

Admitting i have depression is easy. but admitting that i do not know how to control my depression is extremely difficult. i thought to myself, if i didnt know how to handle it, how is you gonna help me do that. you do not know it. im trying to protect you from it. 

i tried to describe my hopelessness in just breathing at the presence of depression. everything is pitch dark, my limbs are amputated, i cant even mengengsot to move, i cant do anything to move. the earth seems spinning, but i cant seems to move. so i give up in moving. in hope, i will be let go.

when i tried to describe it, my best friend told me, dear, everyone has depression. it was like a stab to my heart, i know she meant well, i dont hold it against her. im telling not so you can identify with me, im telling because i want you to help me kill the beasts. i hv nothing on me, i cant even make a sound. my voice has been taken by depression. i just want everything to stop. help me. kill that beasts for me. free me.

when she told me that, i stop asking for help

since i do not want to seek help, i quit medic.

it was not the end of depression.

i got a place to do my degree in acc & fin, i secured a place in this course and also land a job before my grad ceremony. it seems like im fine. but im not.

during my degree in acc & fin, i develop a suicidal thought. do you want to know how i would want to kill myself? i never like the idea of hurting myself. i have experience enough hurt. i just want to go easy. i just want to leave unhurt

close all the doors & windows. open that aircond. light up my fave aromatherapy candle. did you know that if you light up a candle in an air cond room, you gonna be suffocate? i thought thats the nicest way to go. death in my sleep. without feeling any pain.

i am a mess. even with everything i have so far, which is not that much but okay lah i earn some money, im actually a wreck. last sem, during our final exams, my career is taking off fine, seniors & boss is noticing me, i got exams but im fired up. so i thought wth, i can do this. i can bring this down.

until my ex starts with his soon marriage on fb. he’s an ex, i dont really care. until he told me that he has not move on from me yet. All this time, i thought he was not interested, org dah tanak, kita nk paksa buat apa kn. so i put my heart at rest. but bila dia ckp mcm tu, my heart, its tetibe... i guess this heart of mine still thought him as idk. how do you convince yourself that that someone is a future that never gonna happen? i was devastated upon learning that.

i immediate call my friend. i cannot handle this alone. i cant do this. i dont know how to nail this. im afraid depression gonna grip me hard this time. i need someone to catch me first and make some sense out of these. so i called my friend. a friend who is as crazy as me, bcoz only like-mind can make me understand & understand me without me saying much.

Alhamdulillah, everything went well. if you guys tak buat study group, stay at hotels, i dont know what kind of result im getting. i dont even know if im going to show up. you may not know how important your role is at that point of my life, but i pray to God everyday that you will be blessed for the rest of your life. i got 3.59 i guess, so thank you. thats more than i could ever ask for, given my situation.

i did sign up for professional session, following the situations. but i cancelled last minute. the dr asked why. i told her the truth, that im not ready yet.

so you see, even after 4 years since i left medic, im still struggling. had i knew that i will still be struggling either way, i would have never let myself let go of medic. i could have been a dr rn. maybe we will meet under very different circumstances. 

im sorry that even after all this years, i still cant take care of us. im sorry that im not strong enough. im sorry. im terribly sorry for not ending this misery already. im so sorry.