#‘... Oh? You intend to get in the way? Someone like you intends to hinder the path of the precious me?’

[lithi]

Got curious about the whole skyward sword translation thing so I went and looked up the french dialogues. It’s actually really similar to English but they also added this:

Eng: Did you really just draw your sword? Foolish boy.

Fr: Oh? You dare to stand in my way? You should rather bow down in front of my beauty…

AND IN SPANISH

“Pardon? You dare to stand in my way? A mere bug like you isn’t even worthy of admiring my beauty!”

[starrvsn]

` ִ ꔫ ۫ ⊹ W.CLARK ˖ TIL DEATH DO US PART.

pairing: wally clark x fem!reader. 

what to know | 80% angst with 20% of fluff, comfort. fic, a pretty sappy ending. i do not own these characters and this is all fiction! — lowercase is intended.

word count: 5,280 (oops) 

spoilers: death and characters (also assumptions about characters back story). 

☆ on rotation: hate to be lame by lizzie mcapline. lover sung by taylor swift. she was mine by aj rafael. better for you by siaopaolo.

star left a message! my first fic! hope you enjoy and let me know how you felt about it :)

ab. you and wally were inseparable. bared souls to each other but still dancing around the fact of feelings for each other but one night he gathers the courage to tell you how he feels, things don’t go the way he plans and spirals out of control.

1984.

the soft ringing of a phone rouses you awake, your room dark and cool from the gentle breeze coming through the crack in your window. you rub the drowsiness from your eyes before sitting up. glancing at your clock, beside it is the soft yellow landline that rings, a light but repetitive tone. the red glowing numbers reading 11:51 almost made you regret waking up to pick up the phone but the constant ringing means the caller must be persistent to get ahold of you. clearing your throat you pick up the phone, a soft hello emitting from your lips.

“hey sweetheart” you recognize the voice almost immediately, wally clark your best friend since middle school. you two are inseparable, always attached to the hip and despite his reputation, how popular he was. he never let it hinder your relationship. he always joked that you two were high school sweethearts minus the dating part which also always confused people when you had told them you were just friends but your heart hopes, yearns for more.

“hey, did something happen?” there must’ve been a reason why he called you in the first place but he quickly denies:

“oh-oh no, everything is going well… sorry did i wake you?” his voice comes out rushed, as if he’s trying to speed up the conversation. the tone confuses you but you continue.

“not really, i was just trying to fall asleep.” you softly respond. fiddling with the cord, telling him a small white lie but if there was something about wally was that you never wanted him to feel bad at your expense, always saving him the tinge of guilt that affects him more than you thought. he was a soft soul, sensitive but resilient. one of the things that make you more drawn to him. he was someone who made you feel like you had a purpose in life.

“i, i uhm was wondering if you wanted to go for a drive. i-if not thats totally okay!” you can practically hear himself rubbing his neck. a constant habit he had when he was emmbarrased or unsure. you agree almost immediately. hearing the smile plastered on his face, he boasts about having the car for the night so it was the perfect time to make use of it. he promises he’ll come to get you in a few minutes so you rush to get dressed in warmer clothing compared to your sleep wear. as you wait for him, you couldn’t help but feel curious as to why he wanted to take you out at such a late hour. sure he didn’t get the car to himself often but from his tone you couldn’t help but feel something off. ultimately your mind settles on the fact that he just felt spontaneous and just wanted to spend time with your, knowing how the school year just began and he has been busy with the football team and his parents breathing down his neck, so maybe he needed an escape.

minutes pass and you hear the closing of a car door, then rounds of rubble as if someones walking down the side walk. you don’t know how but every time wally comes around, no matter what the sounds are- you always know it’s him and when you confessed this little sense of yours when he let out a boisterous laugh and told you “you have a little part of me then sweetheart.” that made your heart melt. excited, you softly pad down your steps and open the door before he can even let himself in. you had unlocked the door minutes prior to ensure a silent arrival. wally stands still for a few moments. his gaze focusing on your face, your cheeks blush as moments pass and his movement doesn’t change

“uh, earth to wally?” snapping your fingers in front of him, the taller boy jumps back in surprised wondering how you got there so fast, and how you look so effortlessly beautiful at midnight “done gawking yet clark?” laughing, sounding beautiful to his ears he looks away smiling shyly his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck, a repeating his habit. “so where are we going?”becoming the most talkative already, in return there is no response. which is odd coming from you usually commentary filled best friend.

“no hi, how are you? do you not miss me?” lightly shoving his shoulder. you divert the subject to where he could be taking you, the cold air making you shiver as you wait for his response. but instead of giving you one he just leads you to his car across the street, no words exchanged. huffing at the lack of communication you follow him across the street (looking both ways before you cross of course)

the drive to the park is quiet— comfortable silence with the silent play of music fill the air as he drives, you look out the window to stare at the beautiful landscape of the city since wally gives no other form of entertainment to pass time. trying so hard not to stare at him as he drives, you don’t notice obviously since you’re not looking his way but there’s a line of sweat collecting on wally’s hairline but even if you saw you would shrug it off blaming it on his hoodie but no, wally was sweating for a completely different reason. he’s about to change your relationship forever. well, not forever but the outcome can go of two ways, good or bad; with no in-between.

wally clark is going to confess his undying love for you and he feels like he’s gonna throw up from how nervous he is. he didn’t even greet you, that’s how tense he’s feeling he couldn’t even form any coherent word when he saw you, hair ruffled laying in bed with sleepy eyes. it was an image that he wants tattooed on his forehead, dead serious. luckily you didn’t notice how nervous he is because you usually can read him very well additionally, you haven’t asked him anything so he’s relieved to see that nothing he’s done has gotten on your radar yet. well, he didn’t greet you when he picked you up but you just shrugged it off, not thinking to much of it. passing it as oncoming sleepiness from staying up. the ride was filled mostly silence and was also accompanied by mark or your occasion humming, soon you arrive at the park which you immediately recognize as the one where you first met wally, on the swing set late at night when his parent became overbearing. you follow wally out of the car and up a path to a grassy hill out looking the neighborhood and beautiful night sky. he takes a seat and you follow after him, sitting next to him with little space between the two of you.

the scene is quite picturesque, wally wishes he brought his polaroid as he looks up at the stars hoping they’ll talk back to him, talk him out of it or something— maybe some encouragement because he’s been hyping himself up for this moment for so long, okay just for three hours but leading up to this moment he felt like time was moving so slow. the two of you just sit in silence for a while looking at the beautiful night sky until wally speaks up.

“i have something to tell you.” he starts, his voice slightly wavering. you turn immediately to look at him as this is the first thing he’s said to you since he picked you up, a sour feeling rests in your stomach as you process what he said, in fear of hearing what he actually he has to say, you try to figure it out yourself. which you’ll find out yourself was not the greatest idea. sitting up straight you look directly at him with a hand on his shoulder.

“wait don’t tell me, you’re moving? you got early acceptance to ohio state? if so and you’re only telling me now i’m going to murd— or no have you gotten yourself a girlfriend because god knows you nee—“wally shakes his head barely scoffing a laugh.

“no, that is not what i’m gonna tell you! now can you please stop talking? i practiced in front of my mirror for this.” practicing in-front the mirror for what? you tilt your head confused, but turn it upright immediately when another thought comes to mind.

“are you going to show me that stupid dances you’ve been learning because—“

“no! y/n let me say what i need to say before i vomit on your shoes.”

“hold on wha—“

“oh my god y/n! i like you! okay! i like you. god i asked you to not talk and yet you did.”

your heart drops and the sour feeling only heightens. wally on the other hand is frustrated and embarrassed because of your interruptions and his sudden outburst to you. it was uncalled for, he knows. high on his emotions the quarterback stands up from his spot and starts walking down the hill, ruffling his hair in frustration. cheeks red from both embarrassment and the cold. can’t believe you just confessed to her like that! horrible wally clark. now she’s not gonna even want to accept your confession. ‘vomit on your shoes’ what kind of line is that? seriously.

he groans, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he continues down the path. not even bothered to see if you’re following him, he probably just ruined your friendship for life. he’s never going to let himself live this down.

wally is mad at himself, not even you, he’s only a tad bit mad at you for you cutting him off but he’s more mad at himself— he shouldn’t have beaten around the bush, should’ve just told you there and then not have any cheesy climax to it; would’ve gotten it over with quickly. you watch wally walk off while you stay planted in your seat. still processing what happened. wait, wally clark just confessed to you, the man you’ve unknowingly devoted yourself for just confessed and you were interrupting him! what are you doing go after him! y/n go! you scramble from your spot. feeling guilty for cutting him off, you probably sent his confidence down the hill with him. god you felt horrible. “wally! wait!” you call from behind him almost tripping from the decline of the hill but with sportsmen instincts he catches you by your arm. “wally, oh my god. i’m sorry for cutting you off— i’m such a jerk for that.”you say as you pant for breath, your heart racing. you look at his side profile and he’s avoiding your gaze completely, moving his head to look to the side you’re not on. “it’s alright, let me just take you home.” a breath leaves you, take you home? that was the last thing you wanted right now “wally i—“ he cuts you off like you did to him earlier “y/n really, i accept your apology. let me— let me just take you home please.” he is dying from embarrassment at this point, might as well put him out of his misery. “but–“ you start while wally let’s out a hefty sigh and inhales harshly from his nose, rubbing the side of it with his thumb. “y/n can we just forget this all happened? it’s really late i’ll just get you home before anyone realizes your gone.” his tone is distant and really pulls at your heart strings, you didn’t want to forget about this, well some parts of it you wanted to remember like him confessing to you! but you didn’t mean to make him upset; he probably is thinking the worse right now and it’s all because of you, it’s all your fault.

you don’t say another word as you nod when wally briefly glances at you, his light touch on your arm leaves as he continues his walk to the car park. you follow behind quietly, guilt eating you up as you look at wally posture slump as he walks, he’s head hung low. looking small— all because of you.

the drive back to your house was even worse, it was quiet. no music no humming, nothing. just silence— you wanted to say something make it right again but you were afraid to worsen his mood more than you’ve already done. no farewells are exchanged when wally arrives in front of your home, he wanted to say something, anything but he just let the opportunity pass. although, just as you’re about to close the door, he murmurs a soft good night that you wish he could tell you looking in your eyes but instead his eyes stay downcast on the steering wheel. he doesn’t leave right away, he waits until you’re safely inside your house and then some more. he throws his head back wallowing in his emotions, he wished the earth would just swallow him up. when you get into your room, you peak through your blinds and see that wally is still there, you watch as he sits there, eyes closed and head back then he hits the wheel of his car a few times eliciting a gasp from you, feeling more guilty. eventually watching him depart from your street.

wally clark was avoiding you, you knew that much. after what happened that night wally began acting like you didn’t exist– as if you weren’t his best friend; as if he didn’t confess his feelings for you— which you’ve been thinking about for the last few days. it hurts, that wally’s acting so distant. he’s been hanging out with his jock friends— but you can tell his mood isn’t the same. usually preppy and extraverted, practices consuming his time and plans that pop out of thin air that keeps him busy so he doesn’t have to think about what happened with you, to distract him. you’ve tried calling him but it’s all been sent to voicemail or his mother ends up answering the phone, you could tell but it hasn’t been to easy for wally either. he feels like a dick for being this way after what happened but he’s just not ready to face you— face you’re rejection, face the embarrassment, face the spot in his heart for you that he now has to make disappear. he’s just not ready.

this whole wally avoiding you thing has gone longer than you both had expected— you, you were counting the days until wally spoke to you again and honestly you are becoming more concerned with how this is dragging out. you miss your best friend for goddess sake! you miss his corny jokes, his contagious laughter, his habit of running his hands through his had, how excited he gets when he see’s dogs on the street. you just miss him... you miss everything about him, your constant now gone. unfortunately you never end up getting the time to talk to him and by now its been months, now the homecoming game you plan on talking to him after the game. no excuses, no if, ands or buts can interfere with the dire need of bringing him back to you.

the chilly air nips at your cheeks as you stand in the bleachers watching the game. you were never a sports fan especially for football but when your best friend’s whole personality is devoting himself to the sport— not even for him but for his family, you had no choice but getting yourself used to the sport. you went to every game, however far it was you went. distance didn’t hinder your support for him. the game feels aching long and the constant cheering from both schools make it hard for you to focus, you just wanted things to be okay with him. you didn’t want to keep this cold war between the two of you.

now in the second half, you watch from the stands as wally takes a seat onto the metal bench. his mother right behind him. the conversation must be tense because as soon as the finish speaking. he’s up on his feet again. your chest tightening at the thought of how much pressure he’s under right now. you hold your breath as you watch wally catch the ball, running towards the the five yard line when a linebacker runs straight into him, tackling him— wally breaking his fall. you let out a shuttering breath as you watch him, your best friend lie there on the field and it feels as if time stops; you stand on the bleachers in disbelief. praying to some higher up that he’s okay and just being dramatic before getting up like he always does… but that never happens. all air is taken from your chest as you dreadfully walk down the bleachers, hoping this was some sick dream you were bound to wake up from. clamors of terror and commotion fill the stadium as the beloved football player is declared dead on the field. tears are streaming down your face, watching his body being carried in a black body bag that he would’ve joked about it being a tacky way of being taken out.. but theres no room for that you’ve never felt so empty, so helpless as you do in this moment. now never being able to accept is confession, apologize, make a amends. there was no future for you without him.

all wally can see is black, a dark abyss that consumes his vision as he feels weightless, as if he isn’t in his body. an out of body experience that he hopes to recover from. that he’s just in a coma and he’ll be reunited with you and tell you all the things he didn’t get to tell you sooner. his mind is consumed by the thought of you, even before the accident he wanted to see you, talk to you, hold you in his arms but when he opens his eyes he’s greeted by the bright lights of the football field. being completely alone in the stadium. still in his uniform. he sits up dazed and confused. he feels fine, if anything he feels like a whole new person as if he’s been given a second chance in living but what he’ll soon to find out, its not in the way he thinks. he feels a bit light headed as he stands and his eyes immediately landing on a figure when he had thought he was alone. he shouts to get their attention to no avail, confused; he continues to shout walking closer to them. as he gets closer he realizes it’s you with your head in your hands and yours shoulders shaking as you wail to your hearts content. he calls out to you, at first soft but then more desperate as you don’t hear him. he feels frustrated as tears of his own stream down his face.

he cries “yn, sweetheart please, please.” his chest tightening at the sounds of your crying. pleading, begging. a mantra repeating under his breath. he doesn’t want this to be it, to be over for him, for you. he can’t lose you. he doesn’t know where he is, how he got here and he especially doesn’t understand why you can’t hear or see him. if this what death is like he thinks he landed in hell.

wally doesn’t notice the man standing by the entrance. the man that he’ll soon find out is a guide into understanding what exactly is happening and coming to terms with the fact that he’s dead and will never be able to live the life he wanted with you. instead he’ll watch you grow without him as he’ll stay forever eighteen.

‘wallowing wally’ is the nickname rhonda had come up for him. jason chides rhonda for picking on the mourning boy but she insists it was to lighten the mood, the outcome being the complete opposite. when he was first introduced to the group he was quiet, timid, distant. the others understood the feelings and recent thoughts about the afterlife at split river and had assumed he would grow out of it. but no, it continues and rhonda’s continuous jokes about his behavior being the complete opposite to the boisterous quarterback he once was— but that guy since died along with his corpse. he’s now just a shell of who he was.

it was hard for him to watch you at first, he didn’t see you for weeks after his death but when you finally came back to school. you were an entirely different person; you looked paler, bags under your eyes, lifeless as you walked down the halls with soft murmurs about your appearance as you walk by. his heart shatters into pieces watching you, sitting alone during breaks. staring into space during class completely dissociative during class. you distanced yourself from your peers and never responded when someone gave you condolences about your best friend, just nodding then walking away. your were mourning the death of him and he couldn’t handle watching it. you’re hurting at his expense and it’s breaking his already shattered heart that can’t be mended.

so he distanced himself from you. like he did at the end of his life, he couldn’t bare to see you hurt so he spent most of his days on the rooftop. only coming down for snacks or to catch up with the others  but then back at his spot. never going to group because he didn’t want to talk about it. how a little of guilt sits in him everyday watching you mourn for him. days blur by and eventually wally extends to the stadium— he’s bitter, yes that he died during a game, without a fight but it was easier for him to get over compared to you. he will never get over you. he takes his time walking onto the field, closer he sees the memorial left for him. his picture surrounded by candles, flowers, notes and other things left by other students. he’s consumed by the notes and messages his peers left him that he doesn’t realize jason joining him.

“wally” he calls, the boy turns with his hands shoved in his varsity jacket. looking over at the latter with a questioning look. watching the male with his hand over his face shielding him from the sun.

“there’s something i think you wanna see.” as much as he doesn’t want to follow jason or be lead into his trap of being forced into group he couldn’t help the feeling of interest that fills him. as expected they’re towards the gym and as wally is about to protest jason interjects with strong statements about something being there for him. for the first time wally feels hopeful, that something happened— miraculously. he follows jason into the gym. the sight of the circle of chairs in the corner of the gym prominent in his vision but now he sees an extra person taking up another seat. he wasn’t aware that another death had happened at the school and if there was he would’ve been there. heard the sounds of death within the walls. he gets closer and closer, expectant of what jason kept hyping him up about. he’s about to inquire what it is when his eyes land on you. sitting in his seat, he stares at you in disbelief. you dont notice him at first and he takes is as a time to take up you appearance. one that he hasn’t seen in a while.

you look healthier, definitely healing from the homecoming game. you’re wearing a stripped sweater he had lent you, slightly oversized and a pair of dark wash jeans and your beat up converse. the only piece sticking out from your ensamble was the beige apron, stained with clay. it’s quiet around the group before mr. martian walks inside greeting the others.

“wally finally joining us i see.” that name catches your attention. you look up from the gym floor to your recently deceased best friend. your breath hitched, blood running cold, were your eyes deceiving you? you had just seen him died moths ago, the vision still etched in your mind and now suddenly he’s standing in front of you like he’s fine. you think your gonna throw up. wally never expected for his to happen, he didn’t expect for you to react by running out of the gym with your hand over your mouth… it was all to much but the feeling in his heart makes him run after you.  he doesn't know where you went at first but the rounds of retching in the girls bathroom makes him suspect that you’re in there.

“sweetheart, i know you’re in there and i’m not gonna go in there… for obvious reasons but i-i just want to talk.” wally runs his hand over his face, feeling stupid for what he just said. he had such a habit for blabbering even if it was a serious situation. still he just can’t believe you can see him, as much as he wanted to know how you dies; he pushes that thought to the back of his mind, his main focus was making things right with you. he stands by the door waiting for you to finish. he can hear the toilet flushing, then the stall door and the faucet running. his nerves are through the roof as he hears you footsteps come closer. he calls out your name softly as you walk out, ready to be on his knees begging you to forgive him, for what he did, ignoring you for so long, not giving you the time of day. he’s ready for you to yell and shout at him, slap him if you wanted to. he was ready for it. instead, the second you walk out you pull him into a tight hug. noticing the absence of your apron, shoving that thought behind. he bends over a bit to accommodate the height difference. he immediately wraps his arms around you, relishing in your body heat. he’d missed you so much that he almost forgot what it felt like to be in your presence but now that you’re here, there’s no need to worry for that anymore. the hug lasts for a while and soon the wet feeling of tears coat wally’s neck and varsity jacket as you silently cry into his shoulder. he soothingly rubs your back and gently rocking you back and forth, trying his best to comfort you while not trying to cry himself. your knees buckle and he easily catches you, whispering soft nothings to you. it takes you sometime to calm down. nevertheless he waits. listening to your cries become softer, hiccuping for breath as you slowly depart from him.

"i missed you." you tremble in a whisper. he gives you a sad smile cupping your cheek in his hand, gently swiping your tears away.

"i missed you too, sweetheart. fresh tears form on your waterline, eyebrows scrunched you grasp his face, pulling him into a kiss. he's astounded, the feeling of your lips on his was one he dreamt about for years, now here it is and he's standing there like an idiot not kissing you back. his grasps at your waist, the kiss is different from any he's never experienced. it's slow and passionate. you've been yearning for each other for  years, dancing around the potential of where your relationship can go. you're tired of waiting even after death. you relish in the way you lips feel on his after feeling so lost without him with all that emotion you’ve bottled up when you realize that you're in love with him. words cannot express how much he has an affect of you and he can say the same thing about you.  you both pull away a little breathless. you've been waiting to do that for years and wally is a bit envious that you beat him to it. your foreheads are pressed softly together, just standing in each others presence. it's a soft, intimate moment.

"i thought i was never going to see you again." you begin looking into wally's eyes. he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, urging you to continue. “i thought i would've never be able to tell you how i feel. i-i was going to tell you after the football game but... you know.” wally stiffens, he can only assume what you'll say next but whether you break his heart of make his dreams come true. his feelings for you won't change.

“wally, you mean so much to me. you're my rock, always there for me when i need you. no matter what is it— if it was helping me pick out outfits when you hate to shop or picking me up from a disastrous date. i didn't know what it would be like to live without you until it actually happened. i felt lost, i felt like i didn't have a purpose without you. like a part of me died when you did. you give me direction, a purpose. wally clark, i love you. i love everything about you. you're little habits, the things you hate about yourself i love it all." tears are free falling again when you finish and wally's eyes are blurred with tears as he looks at you with all the love and adoration in the world. he lets out a laugh and your face almost twists into hurt when he immediately brings you close by the waist, standing at full height. he reassures you almost immediately.

"stealing my thunder again huh sweetheart?" he jokes, a smile on his face. it's hard to stay mad at him, especially with that face— trying your best to keep a stoic face while he speaks. "i was supposed to say it first." he pouts. and you shake your head, a smile peeking from your lips but you remain. he brings his hand to cup your cheek and the other on the small of your back. "but i couldn't have said it better than you. you're the only one i think understands me the best, you see right through me and can tell if i'm having a bad day or hiding something. you supported me through my football career especially when my parents seemed like they cared more about the sport than their own son. you defend me, protect me— even though i feel like i should be doing that with you. you make me feel special. i love you and i always wanted to tell you that. no matter what you do, make me sad or mad. i'll always love you."

you flush at his words, feeling small in his embrace. your feelings have never felt so strong and it honestly felt a little overwhelming, but seeing the smile on his face eases you. you lean into his touch, your throat tightening at the new thoughts looming your mind.

"what if i'm not good enough for you.” your voice comes out strained, strong with emotion. he interjects immediately. insisting that there was no one else out that that could change his mind. you were it for him. he pours his heart out to you and you the same.  a smile graces you face and wally swears his heart melts. he'll do anything to protect that smile on your face til the day he dies... again.

"it's me and you against the world, sweetheart." he kisses the crown of your head, taking your hand and pulling you down the hall. maybe death isn’t so bad after all.

ownership of starrvsn. please do not repost, modify or translate.

[eywamygoddesswrites]

— 𝓫𝓸𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼 — (neteyam x fem!reader)

requested: yes

synopsis: golden boy neteyam has a lot of suitors but best friend y/n didn't like any of them and would tease the hell of out neteyam just to see him embarrassed

pairing: neteyam x fem!omatikaya!reader

tags: sarcasm, fluff, implied jealousy, long time pinning

warnings: lowercase intended, swearing

word count: 1.9k

a/n: characters are aged up! this is the very first request by @tejas-kris ! thank you very much for the idea! hope this is to your liking ^u^

+ gif not mine. ctto.

neteyam, as everyone knows, is the next olo’eyktan and the golden child of the sully’s. he’s kind, thoughtful, humble, and everything a leader is. handcrafted by eywa to perfection. all na’vi his age longed to be picked by him when he was to choose a mate.

y/n, the rebellious best friend of neteyam, is also a part of the growing admirers of neteyam but he doesn’t need to know that. she has been a part of his life ever since they could breathe. you’d think that because of being his age and being in his life that they’re best of friends, but you’re wrong!

growing up, y/n would hang with the sully's and have her height measured beside them. at one point, both she and neteyam had the same height until y/n continued to grow taller than the oldest sully kid.

he became the end of her height jokes until he just didn’t care anymore. yeah, it was their thing with the jokes but if someone else says them, y/n would definitely pull those na’vi’s tails and perhaps destroy their dignity if she feels generous.

with age comes maturing of many things, mainly the features of one's face. neteyam grew up into a very handsome na’vi. imagine being the son of toruk makto, son of the daughter of the previous olo’eyktan, first born son, and the next olo’eyktan in the making?? not only that, someone who is strong, smart, sharp, humble, did i mention handsome, and kind?

oh eywa, to be standing beside neteyam and being called his… that’s the dream, right? wrong. not when he’s constantly beside y/n. that bothersome yet loyal companion of his.

neteyam had many suitors come his way. there was inaw, a beautiful na’vi who weaves beautiful baskets and many others. when she was trying to give neteyam a bracelet after she confessed, y/n was there to torment the poor na’vi and by poor na’vi, it’s neteyam. why does he get the end of the torment?

“ooh~ lookie here! neteyam finally got another suitor! and look at this beautiful bracelet,” y/n held neteyam’s wrist up as she examined the gift that inaw had just given neteyam didn’t ask for the bracelet to be put on. inaw just put it on him–

“you weave the most beautiful materials, inaw.” y/n grins, showing her fangs to the na;vi that was slowly backing away out of awkwardness and embarrassment. “and i must admit, it suits his features. made his hands pop out its color and veins.” her voice just laced with sarcasm and her eyes rolled adding to the mockery.

neteyam soon removes the bracelet and gave it back to inaw, face flushed with embarrassment. “i really, really appreciate the gesture. but i’m not looking for a mate now.” neteyam says in a hurry before running off.

y/n turns to the poor na’vi while chuckling. “oh eywa, when will you skxawngs learn?” she once again rolled her eyes before following neteyam, embarrassing him more.

another was a na’vi named nitsek who had a very beautiful singing voice. she would always pull neteyam to sit in the front whenever she and a few other na’vi’s sang during their events.

what nitsek didn’t like was when y/n followed beside neteyam. she hated neteyam’s best friend because it hinders her from pursuing the next olo’eyktan. nitsek would bat her eyelashes and ask neteyam to tell y/n to move to another place so she can do her best in performing.

y/n always hears this and snorts in amusement. what a bold move, she admits, but a very wrong move at it.

“nEteYAm oH My eYwA yOu mUsT tAkE tHis hidEoUs fRienD oF yOurs AwAy fRom thE fRont,” y/n says while mocking nitsek’s voice. “yeah neteyam, you should shoo me away because i might distract your little girly over there,” she says while pointing and wiggling her index finger towards the na’vi girl.

“of course, our cutie over here would protect his ‘future mate’, right? i mean, i know you to be such a protective na’vi but hey, i’m not THAT dangerous now, am i?” y/n raises her brow at neteyam before turning to nitsek, who looked like she was ready to just pounce at the na’vi mocking her.

neteyam’s face was as purple as a yovo fruit. he walks away, not bothering to say goodbye to nitsek. the na’vi tried to call neteyam back but he didn’t return.

y/n blows a bitter kiss towards nitsek and waves goodbye. nitsek was left punching the air and hissing at the leaving na’vi’s way.

out of all the na’vi’s that tried to pursue neteyam, her favorite was roka, an acquaintance of kiri as roka was training to be a tsahik when the day comes. to be fair, she was very good at what she was practicing. one of mo’at’s best students but not one of her favorites.

roka would always ask kiri to be the one to help tend neteyam’s cuts after every raid, not that he needed that much help since he doesn’t get that hurt often. kiri, being the nice friend she is, she would let roka patch neteyam up.

despite meeting up a lot, neteyam and roka were awkward with each other. roka didn’t know how to start conversations with her admiration while neteyam just wants to be finished and leave the tent as soon as he can.

y/n came in with the last group of the raid and asked the other sully kids where was their oldest brother. “he’s in roka’s tent! she’s just patching his cuts up.” tuk says happily while she encircles y/n checking if the older na’vi had any cuts. seeing that there were cuts, she leads y/n to kiri’s tent so she can get patched up.

“sissy! y/n needs to get some bandages.” tuk got some of the medicines that her sister usually uses and some patches to cover the cuts afterward.

upon learning where neteyam was, a sly thought passed her mind. while kiri was patching her up, she motioned tuk to come closer.

“hi’i tuk, can i ask you a favor?” y/n says with a smile, one that kiri was familiar with while tuk was not so. “what is it tsmuke?” tuk asks, her voice just so sweet. no one will know that she has any malicious intentions.

“could you tell your big brother that your tsmuke is hurt badly and needs his support?” y/n pouts a bit to seal the deal. tuk nods immediately before running out the tent. kiri looks up from patching her friend up, an eyebrow raised and a smirk breaking out her mouth.

“you’re such an ass, y/n!” she says while nudging her friend. “whaaaat??? am i wrong?! your friend here is badly hurt and you laugh at her?” y/n raised her hand and dramatically sighs. “what if this was my last day? i would not see my dear neteyam’s face. his oh-so-handsome face that all omatikaya fawns over.” she clasped her hands together and swings her legs.

“eywa, i could never take you seriously with all the shit you say.” kiri snorts before finishing patching y/n up. “but i’m ‘serious’ here. i’m juuuust like everyone else.” y/n air quotes the word ‘serious’ before leaning back against her arms.

“you know, that’s not how you get my older brother’s attention. he already has it on you and you don’t have to try.” kiri says as she placed all the medicine and patches she used back in their places. “he looks at you as if you put the stars up in the sky.”

y/n choked on her saliva before laughing. “noooo no he doesn’t. that perfect ass skxawng does not, and i quote, ‘looks at me as if i put the stars up in the sky’. i get that i can be an asshole to other na’vi’s sometimes,” kiri glares playfully, “sometimes??” “that’s not the point, kiri!” y/n throws her arms up in frustration.

“the point is he doesn’t like me that way, point blank period. i mean, yeah we fight sometimes but i think that’s because we get competitive, and maybe our feelings get the better of us, but he’s such great na’vi. even when i get mad after he won our sparring, he would apologize even when he doesn’t have to.” y/n rests her chin on her palm while looking at kiri.

“when that brother of yours finds the right mate to spend his life with, i wouldn’t find anyone like him who would put up with me. i mean, with this personality, who would? even if i say ‘i love him’, would he say he loves me back?” she mumbles the last sentence while playing with her anklet. one that she made with neteyam and matched with.

when kiri didn’t reply, y/n looked up to see what was happening. kiri had stopped her actions and was looking behind y/n.

y/n turns around to see neteyam with tuk not far behind. realization hit her hard like bricks. he positively, absolutely heard everything she had said. fuck.

“i’ll leave you two to chat, alright?” kiri says while pushing tuk away from the tent, her little voice growing further as she asked her sister why.

neteyam moved close to y/n, a small space between them enough space to leave for eywa. y/n’s ears flatten as her tail swayed furiously. she stood up to leave but neteyam pulled her back, both standing in the middle of the tent.

“you heard nothing from me, okay?! absolutely nothing.” y/n glares right at neteyam’s eyes only to look away almost immediately.

neteyam, who’s face was just purple after hearing that his heart’s love had just confessed her feelings so straightforwardly, how was he supposed to react? his tail sways in a small but fast motion, ears twitching in happiness as he smiled.

“so you do feel the same way i do.” neteyam says as a matter of fact. y/n rolled her eyes before punching his shoulder softly. “no i don’t.” his grin widen before pulling her into a hug. this caught y/n off-guard before she tried to get him off of her. she ultimately gave up and hugged him back. he can hear her heart beat fast as he rest his head against her chest.

“i see you.” neteyem softly says while playing with a braid of y/n’s. y/n’s eyes widen as her heart raced. oh eywa, it’s happening… it’s hAPPENING–

“it’s alright if you don’t say it now. i will wait for you for as long as it takes.” neteyam adds before letting go of her, only to be pulled back into the hug, this time, her chin resting on top of his head.

“i see you, neteyam. for such a long time, it’s just you in my head,” she says, her voice was small, quiet almost but he heard her well.

he was glad. neteyam had loved this tall na’vi since forever and to be in her arms at this moment just feels so… right. y/n thought the same. she can finally keep him in her grasp, never to be let go. and besides, she needs an armrest and neteyam is there to provide it for her.

“am i also in your heart?”

“oh shut up, skxawng!!”

na'vi dictionary (seen in order):

hi'i - small

tsmuke - sister

[thelonelysoulhome]

Doumeki is the first person ever that hold out his hand to Yashiro:

(Part 2)

Misumi-san

The first time Y meet with Misumi san, he beet him up.

He after literaly peek him up of the street, pay's his unpaid rent, okay, good.. oh nevermind it was just to debt him in...

Misumi san is clever and he immediately see's that Y is a perfect tool for him to use like he want's cause as he say's Y don't care about himself.

That broke me, he's still so young (around 20/21 years old at the time) and he's so hopeless but he's so kind he is ready to sacrifice for someone else well being. Because his dosen't matter after all.

(I hope kage learn that Y sacrifaced himself and joined the yakuza for his sake...)

To see him, kneel down and beg misumi like that break's me.

He is capable to invest himself for others sake's but not his.

And here again something is imposed to Y, he's not chosing to join the yakuza he is forced to, he can't do anything about it, he dosen't have another choice.

"It's not like I intended to become like this. It's just that was the only path left."

Yes Y did not chose to became the person he pretend to be today, he had no other choice, he never had the right to chose.

He abandoned himself a long time ago, he don't wait anything from anyone, like this he would never be disapointed and left miserable and vulnerable.

"Didn't you say you like me as a person"

(That shit hurt dammnnn...crying..)

And again Y realise nobody really care about him, Misumi manipulate him to join the group, he just use him like he want's, again like every men in Y's life .

To me Misumi is not different from Yashiro's step dad, He's hindering him, chaining Y to another hell he don't deserve .

(I'm gonna reuse @pouletaulait words here because I find them very pertinent).

"For Yashiro the Yakuza is a hindrance to his freedom and happiness because it’s not who he truly is as a person and as long as he stays he’s going to be under Misumi’s control and Misumi is gonna try to use him, just like his stepfather and all the other men who SAed him when he was a teenager used him.

In a way he’s still this powerless child getting used by others. He was an easy target for Misumi because Yashiro was "completely indifferent about himself" as Misumi put it.

This indifference stems from the abuse he suffered. When Yashiro got shot he remembered the SA and he says: "I have lived my life accepting it all. I’ve felt no sorrow. I’ve blamed no one. My life can’t be said to be anyone else’s fault."

This expresses exactly what Misumi saw in Yashiro: He’s so broken that he doesn't even feel anger, he is beyond caring about himself, his well-being, his future.

Putting it differently; he doesn’t love himself and he doesn’t think that he deserves love or a different, better life. This is why he doesn’t really put up a fight against this fate. He’s still passively accepting everything."

He had to endure all the abuse alone without anyone helping him understand that he didn't do anything wrong, that he didn't deserve all of this, that it was someone's fault but not his.

So horrible to see how much all of that nourished Yashiro's self loathing and fake beliefs for years.

But here comes Doumeki in Yashiro's life, percuting all his walls, stirring the water, because for the very first time in his existence someone would see beneath his mask.

See you in part 3.

[constelationprize]

The Kayleigh Day Lives AU - Part 3

Also known as Congratulations, Wymack, it's a boy! He is also already 20 years old and horribly traumatised

So I think that after the banquet Kayleigh goes to some ERC after party to schmooze a bit, maybe with the explicit intention of undermining the rumor of Kevin being better than Riko. Like "do you think I'd let anyone hold MY son back? *Nervous laugh*"

Smash cut to the match between Riko and Kevin

Kayleigh is halfway back to the hotel when she gets Kevin's call. He's immediately locked himself in a bathroom while Jean helps distract Riko.

Now she knows this is BAD bad for a couple reasons. For one, hands have very delicate bones, and full recoveries from severe blunt trauma injuries are hard and rare. Second, there's the fact that this confirms her suspicions that Kevin was being mistreated from behind her back. Third, she knows they won't let her take him to a hospital right now. And last, but not least, it's going to be very hard to get away with double homicide once she gets her hands on Tetsuji and Riko.

Kayleigh has to make a snap judgment if she wants to help her son, in a way that won't put either of them in more danger. She can't trust Tetsuji anymore, so she goes over him.

Now, I don't think she would have access directly to Kengo, but during her years as a Moriyama asset she has amassed enough goodwill she has a few contacts in the main branch. People who are worried about Tetsuji overeaching with his little project.

She calls them and very carefully chooses her words. She says that Riko has dealt Kevin a potential carreer-ending injury and that the best way to control that narrative is going to be playing it off as an accident and taking Kevin out of the public eye for a while, transfering him out of Edgar Allan so people focus on that drama instead of questioning the origin of his injury. She doesn't necessarily threaten going public with what she knows if they don't allow her to take him safely out of the Nest, because she isn't stupid, but it IS implied.

Kayleigh gets half an hour to take Kevin out of the hotel before she herself has to report back. Wherever he's going, she can't come with, as insurance.

That... Somewhat hinders her options.

But, well. David Wymack is in town.

Kevin has found the letter in this universe too, because Tetsuji would have it regardless, but he took Kayleigh at her word when she explained it was for the best that Wymack not know.

This is not a can of worms Kayleigh ever intended to open. But there is a saying about desperate times and desperate measures.

Which is how she ends up picking up Kevin, badly bandaging his hand, and going after the Palmetto State Foxes.

She catches up with them right as they are piling onto the bus to leave. She almost his the bus with her car. It's a mess.

It gets worse once she and Kevin get out, though.

Wymack is alarmed and confused and oh my God Kayleigh what the fuck is your badly injured son doing here.

And she says something to the likes of "First of all, that's OUR badly injured son"

There is a lot of screaming. Dan thinks she's having a stroke. Wymack is torn between confusion and rage. Kevin is going into shock, like, the medical condition. Abby is trying to weave her way to him because someone has to give that boy some actual first aid. Kayleigh's time is running out and she doesn't have time to stand here in this parking lot and justify every questionable decision she has made in the last thirty years. Tetsuji just found out about everything and starts blowing up her phone.

Andrew is crashing from his meds cycle and sleeps through the whole thing.

There is literally no time to untangle any of this, so Kayleigh just tells Wymack that Kevin will explain everything after they take him to the hospital. Preferably in South Carolina because the farther they are from Riko, the better.

No one is happy with this turn of events. It's for certain, though, that things will get a lot worse before it gets better.

On another note, Aaron just won himself like 200 dollars, and it might just be enough to ask that cute cheerleader in his class on a nice date.

[obsolescent]

I lovee all are of the dust a lot (I reread it for this and it hit me just as much!!) so I would LOVE to hear what u thought while writing it🥰 especially this part bc AAA

Oh lord Em…. The way I just dropped to my knees reading what I wrote again… Sit down and get comfortable 🛋️

The soul of Ethel Cain reached into the depths of my being and wrenched All Are of The Dust out of me while I was listening to this song of her’s (specifically the second half of the song)

The lines “Please, don't love how I need you / And know that one day, you and I could be okay,” are ones that resonate throughout this.

I was like let me try my hand at writing angst, let me dip my toes in. At first, like you with 505, I had become uninspired with it before I had even wrote anything down. But I sat and dug through my mind, and motivation struck with the Preacher’s Daughter album.

Southern gothic imagery galore, it’s what I had been envisioning for this piece. I was like, this is what I needed! So I thought of this world, where you and Leon had grown up together, the trailer park not too far from the orphanage, inseparable in and outside of school, twin flames who found one another so early in life and refuse to be separated.

This was also meant to be for someone who is trans in some way, hence the part where he suggests moving to a bigger city, that you would find more people like yourself. I did leave it ambiguous though, but that’s the theme that’s interlaced with the story. He knows how hard it was for you growing up, and having been there the whole time and being your favorite listener, he knows you best. He wants you to flourish and knows you’ve been hindered by your childhood.

As a child, he knew there wasn’t much he could do to keep you safe from adults, their words like the worst paper cut to skin. Especially from a so called “loved one” who was supposed to have been someone who rallied behind you, not join the opposing party. Leon intends to make good on his word and keep his promise, if you’ll let him.

He wants to save you from that god forsaken town, leave it all behind and start anew. He never wants you away from his side for long, but he also knows just how scared you are, how terrifying change can be to someone, having to go through it when he lost his parents at such a young age. You, on the other hand, also know that if you agree to leave, finding yourself in a new place, the independence you had gained would vanish. No familiar buildings or signs nor faces, regardless of how rude they could be. You having to depend on someone once more, no matter how much they mean to you, has you digging your nails into your palms enough to draw blood, a scream bubbling up inside.

Leon would never push you into something that you’re not completely behind, so he’ll let you make your decision on your own. He knows you need time to mull it over, let you have your time with your thoughts. Though, he feels unsettled by the feeling that’s stirring in his gut, for the one answer he dreads to hear.

I do have it to where there’s two ways this can end. I won’t go much into detail here for the fact that I have much planned for it, but this really did inspire me to pick this story back up.

Thank you, Em, for wanting to hear my rambling and wanting an analysis on my work, we both share in the brain rot that is Leon Kennedy 🧡🤝🤍

[sebbyisland]

I need csm fans to understand that the same way part 1 featured Fujimoto spilling dommy mommy kink all over the pages while seriously exploring child grooming, so can part 2 include sexual undertones while exploring how an abused child develops their identity outside of that abuse.

Part 2 has been about exploring different facets of identity. Denji rejects his human self to find value in his “hero” self. Asa rejects the hero Chainsaw Man but finds value in Denji. Yoshida wants Denji to lead a normal life, but as we understand through Asa’s narrative, a “normal” life is an unrealistic and sometimes even detrimental ideal (normal as in defined by social standards, not normal as in a universal human experience. Different from the Makima “you don’t deserve a normal life.”).

Asa tries so desperately to be normal that she hates herself even more for failing to be normal—in order for everyone else to be her definition of what is “right,” she is continuously putting herself down, sometimes literally falling down. This is apparent from the traumatic childhood memory of losing a cat she held affection for because her caretaker wanted her to be alone like the other kids in the orphanage (and the caretaker herself).The reason she hates falling isn’t the fall itself, but that she falls “at the wrong moment,” when she is not like everyone else. It is through the tumultuous but genuine connections with Yuko, War Devil, Denji + Chainsaw man, and notably “falling” FOR someone in a positive way, that Asa can begin to stop being “normal” and slowly value her weirdo self.

In case you can’t already tell, Asa’s character arc strongly parallels Denji’s. Denji and Asa are trying to cater to a basal desire for human love, and base their entire identities in whether or not they can access that. Instead of be normal, Denji wants to be exceptional, a hero who can “get all the ladies.” The part 2 makes a point to emphasize it is affection, not purely sex, that Denji wants by depicting him as uncomfortable even while receiving a sudden kiss from who he believed to be Asa, which contradicts his aforementioned goals. He also shows genuine love and care for Nayuta. Denji truly values forming genuine connections, but still centers his SELF WORTH on being able to “get all the ladies,” or have sex with women. This is actively hindering him, for the more a “hero” chainsaw man becomes, the more desirable chainsaw man is, the more removed chainsaw man is from Denji’s own idenntity. This is coupled by the fact even when trying to so hard to be a hero, Denji fails to act “heroic” by virtue of his true self. (He’s incredibly violent, saves a cat over people, shows preference to save women, etc). To the point that there is an entire separate entity pretending to be Chainsaw Man, and even a whole obsessive fan club.

Through Denji and Asa, it’s apparent that you cannot be your “true” self as a self-proclaimed pariah nor hero. You cannot base your identity on how normal or not-normal you are. This is important, because Yoshida is pushing Denji to be normal while PRETENDING to be comfortable with Denji as himself. He keeps up a stable, friendly tone with Denji while he explains Denji is on constant surveillance, actively follows him, and frequently isolates him. The way Yoshida talks to Denji contrasts a lot with how he intends to use Denji, I wonder why that sounds familiar….

….oh right. Makima did that. Except Makima never wanted Denji to live a normal life, now, did she? She wanted the hero of chaos, Chainsaw Man. Makima and Yoshida’s manipulation of Denji are two sides of the same coin. Where Makima was indirect and cunning, Yoshida uses obvious methods to control Denji. Both are pressuring Denji to pick a polar end of his identity, monster or human, exceptional or normal.

Another similarity between Makima and Yoshida is they each try to cater to Denji’s hunger. While feeding Denji is not the first thing Yoshida does, it is how his method of establishing their power dynamic, which is exactly the role that feeding Denji took on for Makima. However, unlike Part 1 Denji, who eats from Makima’s hand, Denji took the food Yoshida ordered into his own hands, explicitly after Yoshida tried to bar him from using thr “normal” method with food utensils. Yoshida is like Makima, but Denji has learned not to trust his type nor the fake promises of normality. Denji caters to his own hunger. He may not be able to recognize his base hunger for affection, but he does know to listen to himself. Denji’s dynamic with Yoshida kinda serves as a benchmark for his development at this point in the series.

All of this taken into consideration: the narrative’s rejection of society’s normal through Asa, the rise of Chainsaw Man as a hero, and the parallels between Yoshida and Makima, is it really a surprise that Yoshida and Denji’s interactions would be sexually charged? Is Yoshida not trying to echo Makima’s dominance when he proceeds to control Denji from the shadows, so far as to kidnap him, immobilize him, and strip him? Did Makima not do those things on a literal and psychological level?

For Denji, sex continues to be little more than an exchange in power. When Denji desperately tries to barter Yoshida with a sexual favor, he’s calling back to the ways that being subservient gave him a way out of his pain, a way to be loved, but at the same time he’s being outrageously inappropriate without a care, he is rejecting normality. He is both the hurt child and the defiant boy.

Yoshida is a reminder of Denji’s past, but also serves as a motivator for him to keep fighting for his own happiness, his own loved (family), his own self. I’m excited to see how the story handles this first real “confrontation” with Yoshida next chapter.

TL; DR the end of Ch132 does resemble a consent play scene and this is plot relevant information imo

[kindheart525]

Snowcone really did not want to do this. She was aware she needed help but something about this seemed...fishy. After all, how qualified could Aura be? She’d do it for her mom though; Gaia knows that mare would die if she didn’t. 

So Snowcone laid there and stared up at Aura, looking right through her.

Aura stared back at her with a bright smile, a notebook and pen poised in her talons, ready to write down every little thing Snowcone would say in permanent ink.

“We already know each other through Eclipse so feel free to think of this as talking to a friend or family member if that makes it easier! This is a place to relax and let it all out, and it’s all confidential so I won’t tell anyone. What’s on your mind today?”

Almost immediately Snowcone settled her head on her hooves and chipped out with the matter-of-factness of a morning coffee conversation, 

"Oh you know, not much…they tried a lobotomy before a therapist."

She snickered as if this was the funniest joke in the world, barely able to get it out.

Aura’s face scrunched up like she’d bitten into something sour as she scribbled on her notepad.

“Okay. You like dark humor. Got it. Moving on...”

She plastered her usual cheery, nurturing expression back on her face.

“Your parents told me you’ve been more emotionally reactive lately. Quick to anger, crying more easily, and so on. But I want to know how this feels for you, not your parents. Would you mind running me through it?”

She placed a tissue box between them.

“Don’t worry, you can let yourself feel as much as you want.”

The ignoring of her joke genuinely irritated Snow. She kept her pose but put her hooves down, a clear discomfort in every word she spoke. 

"I feel like shit. It’s like someone else riding a rollercoaster for me and fucking everything up. I-"

She stopped as she kicked away the tissue box, a smile of her own growing on her face as she was reminded of the lemon’s sensitivity. 

"-I can’t forget the intrusive thoughts, but I’ve been dealing with it. No meds, no therapy, no psych ward, just raw dogging this mental illness the way Gaia intended."

Aura cocked an eyebrow in barely-concealed irritation at this.

“I really think this is not what Gaia intended. We’re not meant to live life feeling like we’re on a messed up rollercoaster. Intrusive thoughts aren’t something you should deal with without getting help. You could end up really hurting yourself.”

She shuddered and shook her head.

“How exactly do you ‘deal with it’?”

Snowcone rolled her eyes all the way into the back of her head, keeping them there for a second to get on Aura’s nerves. Who did she think she was? Snow wasn’t about to sit here and express herself the way AURA wanted. If that was what therapy was then she wanted no part in it! 

"Thank you captain obvious. I sit in my room and sleep, I hang out with ponies at the mall. I...uh...eat, cry, repeat."

“Alright then.”

Aura tapped her pen to her beak in deep thought for a moment.

“Have you tried meditating? It’s what I do with Eclipse and it’s done wonders for them. Studies show it has lots of benefits. It just might help you. What do you say to that?”

Snowcone smirked and thought for a moment. In reality she had tried it and it just didn’t work for her. Honestly and truthfully. 

She wasn’t going to let Aura know that though; the hippogriff mare wasn’t really doing that good of a job.

“I don’t know, it kind of interferes with my usual way. Overstimulating myself so that my brain doesn’t develop any depressing thoughts! I watch Neightflix in the shower, maybe one of these days it’ll fall in and electrocute me! Win win!”

The hippogriff set her notebook aside, closing her eyes and sucking in a sharp, exasperated breath.

“Okay, it was mildly funny the first time but this dark humor needs to stop. Desensitizing yourself with jokes does nothing but normalize thoughts that should never be tolerated. It keeps you from being vulnerable and honest with yourself, it hinders any progress you want to make. Crack a joke in the wrong place and you’ll be institutionalized. Do you want that?”

Snowcone sat up and turned away slightly, wanting to set some distance between the two of them. Her wall dropped and she began to tear up the longer the little rant went on, but her expression didn’t seem sad at all. 

It seemed enraged. 

Her hooves were held over her chest as if Aura had broken an heirloom. Who would say something like that to someone like this?

"I am being vulnerable! What part of this seemed faked or dishonest? If you’ve come here to threaten me then I don’t want anything to do with you! Do me a favor and kick rocks!" 

And just like that Snowcone went storming out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Advice Next: Yolk On Her Face

Collaboration with @gelidponies

Background by tamalesyatole

[antihibikase2]

Silly college AU with @spqp's Cheren Descante and Colress Achroma that we made awhile back before Mutual Rotting. :]

Cheren Descante does not mind staying up late- he hasn’t been sleeping properly in awhile anyway, and only adding to his list of responsibilities was looking out for the exchange student from Hoenn that the academy had thrusted upon him; he only had Colress to blame, as the scientist thought it would be funny.

“Because!”

He had said with a skip in his step, as if he wasn’t entrusting another human being under his care.

“You both have the same name! That would make for an interesting conversation starter, right? You won’t have to think too hard of how to talk to him! Be a good role model and keep him around, would you? Oh, don’t worry-I had all his things delivered to your room! Well, outside, but who cares. You could use a little exercise anyway,”

Descante hadn’t been able to let out a single word as his mentor had called over what had initially appeared to be a doppelganger- but the more he and Colress looked, the more different the other truly was.

He was shorter and so was his hair, somewhat curled like the fur of an Aromatisse. Though he had a gentle and polite smile, his brows always seemed to be furrowed in worry, and his eyes darted around anxiously- between Colress and Descante.

He had been accompanied by four Pokemon- all fairies, and was told he was a botany student; meaning Descante had to account for the few saplings he had brought with him.

Notably, he had a nice voice, and would often sing. It reminded him of someone.

Descante eventually figured that the initial annoyance the student had brought with him was only temporary- he didn’t know how or why, but as the days passed on, having a roommate who did their share of the chores unasked, knew how to cook for the both of them and respected his privacy actually seemed quite nice.

And the few times he was nosy, Descante supposed it was prompted; at least he made sure he ate and slept, even if the sleeping part was enforced by the other’s singing.

He wondered why the other did not choose to be in a field of arts instead, but it wasn’t his business.

He loved his berries, and he loved his fairies, but most of all, he was at least easy to be around, someone that did not require a facade to be worn- there was no competition among them, except for the few nights Descante had insisted the other learn how to battle more effectively.

Perhaps a part of his ego had been stroked at the thought of being better at someone who didn’t actively try to best him, but that wasn’t the point.

The point was, currently, Cheren Descante found himself trotting after Cheren Slater, as his Sylveon- Melody, led the way into the dark forest with Flash.

The moon could only shine upon them so much to guide their way, leaving the pair alone with only their partners and their wits.

The exchange student’s safety was his responsibility, and each of his activities outside the campus had to be taken into account- they could get in trouble with the academy’s partner institute at Hoenn if anything happened to their star student.

Normally, he wouldn't do anything beyond what was needed and what he personally wanted- but his dorm mate had been troubled as of late, almost embarrassed to even ask him of favors even if he went beyond what he and Descante agreed upon with their shared chores.

Descante does not mind returning the favor- Slater never asked for much anyway.

This would be simple enough- Slater wanted to catch a certain Pokemon after hearing the rumors from his classmates that there had been outbreaks as of late.

There was a particular Pokemon he wanted, but could not necessarily get in Hoenn.

Slater had Heal Balls on the ready, intending not to weaken what he had his eye on, but mainly hinder it with Melody's Yawn- his team was not built for battle, but for support and mundane utilities after all.

At the sound of rustling grass, Descante whips his head and catches a slight sparkle from the blades.

He sends out Aurelian to blow the blades of grass with its tail, sending a strong gust that results in a small Pokemon rolling out into the open.

Slater gasps, eyes twinkling as he sees pink fur. "Descante, it's a Buneary!"

A shiny one at that.

Unsurprisingly, the Pokemon he had been after was soft and small and painfully cute- something he had the fondness for.

But Descante does not judge- Buneary were hard to raise, but Lopunny were interesting Pokemon, speedy and had raw strength.

Their Mega Evolved forms were definitely good battlers, something Slater desperately needed in his team of non-attacking mons.

He orders Aurelian to stand back.

This wasn’t his battle, nor was this his capture. He glances at Slater for a moment, offering him a simple “Good luck,” as he watches the battle unfold.

It wasn’t much of a battle anyway.

Aurelian’s tail slaps against the grass, wondering why Slater seemed to be doing anything in his power to prevent seriously hurting the Buneary; Mud Slap to lower its accuracy- stopping it from being able to make a quick escape by hindering its vision, and a quick use of Yawn to render it to sleep.

When the Buneary plops to its bottom and its ears droop down, Slater quickly tosses one of the Heal Balls from his bag, and Descante watches as the ball rolls down the steep path and collides against his shoe.

Slater runs to his direction, but his excited smile falters a bit at the sight of Descante’s frown. “Oh, um, are you mad that I made you go all the way out here?”

Descante shakes his head. “No, it's just your tactics were sloppy,”

“Oh!”

“Honestly, Slater,” He sighs. “If you were anywhere else but a battle with a docile Pokemon, you would be in danger,”

“But I’m not,” He picks up the ball from Descante’s feet, beaming. “You’re here with me, right? You would have been able to protect me if anything happened!”

There’s an expression that crosses Descante’s face, and he’s not sure what it is either.

He just adjusts his glasses and turns on his heel, mumbling something about the other following him back to campus.

In high spirits, Slater walks by his side as he cradles his new capture, fawning and cooing over the shiny Buneary- jolly nature, somewhat of a clown, Descante could tell.

In his head, he thinks of the ways to propose its training regimen to Slater, but his train of thought is interrupted when they both spot Colress by the academy doors, a smile plastered across his face.

Thinking they were in trouble, Slater quickly jumps to Descante’s defense and stammers out an apology. “P-Professor, Descante just came with me because I insisted I wanted a Po-”

“Oh, don’t worry your fluffy little head about that,” He waves his hand dismissively. “It’s just that seeing you two sneak aaaaaaall the way out into the forest and night and coming back with a Buneary is so nostalgic! Reminds me of my own college experience!”

Descante does not like the sound of this.

“You see, when I was your age- I was taller than you, by the way, a good friend of mine and I went out and caught ourselves a little bunny just like you! But instead of Heal Balls we used snare traps and-”

Descante covers the horrified Slater’s ears with his pair of headphones and ushers him away, pushing him to the direction of the dorms. “That’s enough.”

[more-than-a-princess]

Continued from here for @electricea!

It wasn't as if they were engaged in some sort of romance, but Sonia wasn't naïve enough to pretend that even a friendship with a princess would raise questions. Still, despite Ryuji's quick defense of his mother and how he expected such a meeting to go, Sonia smiled. Too many times, people acted differently around her once they knew where she'd come from, what she was. Monarchies were growing more and more rare in the world, many nations forgoing them for the sake of free and fair elections. So the prospect of meeting someone with such heritage and future prospects...Sonia could only suppose it was daunting. "I am glad, then, to meet her one day," She told him, "If our paths should cross. I should not like to invite myself, you see. That is rather impolite."

Perhaps he would take the hint, but first he'd inquire about her caretakers. Just as well: they still had time until the water would boil and beyond the variety shows airing on television in honor of the holiday, there wasn't much in the way of entertainment. "My nannies and governesses?" Sonia raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh no, no: it is expected to bid them farewell once the child in question reaches middle school age, but it is not unheard of for families to hire them back when the next generation of children is born. If they are still working, that is. The closest people in my life, besides my friends and my cousins, are my core staff. My secretary especially: she has been working for me since I was fifteen and feels more like an older sister. A particularly bossy older sister, and from me, that is saying something!"

Sonia chuckled, thinking back as to how Cecily had been just as stern at 23 as she was now. She could smile and laugh, Sonia had found, but work and duty always took precedence. Whether it was arranging Sonia's schedule, meals, and travel, or ensuring she was seen exactly how the Royal Family wished her to be seen by the press. And then there were the times she was the friendly ear and shoulder Sonia had needed to listen, to cry on, to be the entirety of the bucking up brigade unless she wanted to be chewed out by the likes of her mother.

Her mother...

Someone Ryuji seemed to feel badly about, the state of affairs between Queen and Princess. But Sonia shook her head, still cheerful. "Do not be sorry, please," She insisted with a soft sigh. "Truthfully it is for the best that we maintain some distance. She is my mother but more often than not, we do not get along well. And besides, I would much rather discuss having a real birthday party! No formal attire, no schedule I must adhere to during the ball, and to be able to eat properly too. There are no full meals present at such events: it hinders the dancing." And being able to fit comfortably in fitted gowns and use the restroom. Finger food appetizers and a chocolate fountain were the mainstays, alongside copious amounts of alcohol.

Nothing like New Years noodles, which thankfully would be well on their way to edible with the water now boiling and Ryuji leading most of the cooking. "You have to watch the water after you add the noodles too?" Sonia asked, puzzled. "How odd. I have usually just added them and left them alone until they looked soaked through." Probably why she always had soggy noodles, save for the few instances she'd drained them too soon and thus was left with a crunchy spaghetti. "But I do not think there is much to tell about Le Bal des Debutantes, at least what is already not published in society magazines or on social media. I suppose it is a competition, but for some it is much less about raising money and all about being seen at the event, raising money. But I did meet many new acquaintances, many of whom I was likely to meet sooner or later due to work but it was very inspiring at the time to meet other young ladies well on their way to changing the world. Daughters of CEOs intending to transform the family businesses, of actors and actresses who want to create their own artistry, and several other royals from around the world. I think my fondest memories are not even of the formal dinner or ball itself, but the time spent in-between photoshoots, or having our makeup and hair done, sharing aspects of our lives and how we would celebrate once the night was over. That was most enjoyable indeed!"

It was nothing like a sports competition, which is how Sonia had guessed that Ryuji viewed it. Glancing up at him as they got the noodles ready, she wondered how he'd fare in it, fit in with it all. There was so much of the lifestyle she lived that he, in her opinion, was blissfully excluded from. It felt wrong, to a degree, to indoctrinate him into it. "What are your favorite memories with your friends, Ryuji-san?" Sonia asked, giving pause before continuing. "Or with your significant other? I imagine you must have plenty, and plenty more memories you would wish to create this year with them."

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

🪶 Being Karasuno's Manager 🪶

Manager with a

Progressive Degenerative Eye Disease

Karasuno x GN Manager

Warnings: Swearing

AN: This is pt 2 to this anon request!

🌠 Please Like, Reblog and/or Share to help support my writing 🌠

"You have the most stunning eyes YN!"

You've heard it a million times

And honestly, it's true 💅🏼

You have such pretty eyes 😍 I'm seriously so jealous YN 😫

Unfortunately for you, your eyes might be stunning but they worked worth a crap 😭

Serious YN, I feel you

I cannot see without my glasses at 👏🏻 all 👏🏻

Your vision had been bad since a young age

You started wearing glasses to help with reading at first but then they became necessary for daily life

Walking ✔️

school ✔️

Managing karasuno volleyball team ✔️ ✔️

Seriously, YN you need to see to manage Karasuno

Because those stray balls are NO JOKE

Hinata's receives alone are enough to warrant glasses YN ✋️

You have you have your eyes and ears open at all times

It's a good think wearing glasses makes you one of the cool kids

I mean Kiyoko and Tsukki wear them!

Hinata is so jealous!

"YN CAN I TRY YOUR GLASSES ON FOR A SECOND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSSSEEEEEEE"- our favorite tangerine Boi

"For one second then I need them back"- you, being ever so sweet

"Hey everyone! Look I'm YN- WHOA YN you're basically blind"- Hinata

You 👉🏻 😐 thank you for that observation

Still, you sport glasses like Tsukki because you enjoy being involved in practice with your boys

And you also enjoy your glasses not breaking if you 🎆happen🎆 to get hit in the face

And let's face it (pun intended 🤣) Karasuno is the squad who would probably hit you in the face

On accident of course!

Your vision doesn't really hinder your ability to be a manager

But what would happen if your glasses 🎆accidently🎆 broke at the interhigh tournament? 👀

Well I'm so glad you asked 🤗

Because lucky for you, I got you 😉

You were busy, organizing the bench like you do normally

You weren't sitting on the bench just yet

Kiyoko has seniority and we respect that 👏🏻

But you helped get things organized

So when Karasuno and Seijoh

Yes Seijoh 🙄 were warming up

The stray balls were flying

Remember in season 2 when Kiyoko deflected a stray ball to save Yachi?

This scene 👇🏻🥰

Well unfortunately for you, Kiyoko wasn't there to save you 🙃

So when a stray ball, wielded by your own team, sticks you in the back of the head

All hell breaks lose

First off all, it was definitely Hinata 🤣

Pls the man is working so hard on his receives 😭

You go flying forward and your glasses fall, shattering

Pain 🥲

Everyone is shocked

Hinata 👉🏻😶😳😨😱

Daichi 👉🏻😳😬

Suga 👉🏻😐😑😮‍💨

Seriously, you dropped those things a million times, yet today was the day 🙄

Of course it was 😒

"YN- GOD IM SO SORRY"- Hinata, now screaming

"Way to go dumbass you broke YN"- Kageyama, not fighting Hinata who us crying

Tanaka and Noya panic that you'll be blind forever

"Someone call the cops"- Asahi

"Seriously Asahi"- Tsukki 😐

Seriously guys 🤦‍♂️

Daichi helps you up and helps you pick up your now broken glasses

"YN do you have any extra glasses?"- Daichi

"Not with me unfortunately"- You

"Well you weren't very prepared YN"- Suga

Like we don't know that Suga

Glare at him YN- or glare in his general direction 😑

"Boy you guys have three managers and you can't even take care of them"- Oikawa, because of course

"YN is just fine. It was an accident"- Daichi

"YN maybe you should come be a manager for us, we wouldn't let such things happen to you"- Oikawa, smug af 😏

Daichi is FUMING

He totally walks over to Kags and says "now I know why you hate him" 😒

However, you have it handled 💅🏼

"Thanks for the invite Oikawa but I happen to love my team"- YN

Tanaka and Noya 👇🏻

"YN do you need me to run to your house and get your glasses?"- Kiyoko, our savior

"Oh you don't have too"- You, willing to go blind the entire game

We don't want to inconvenience anyone 😟

"YN it's fine! Yachi can take over for me while I run to your house"- Kiyoko

Pls Kiyoko is the G.O.A.T. ✋️

"Ok 🥺"- you

Kiyoko gives you one of her killer smiles and off she goes 🏃‍♀️

Pls you can't tell me that nationals was the first time she used her running skills

Not with Karasuno as her team

Meanwhile, you are guided up the stands by Yachi

Yachi leaves you in the care of Saeko, Tanaka's sister

"Never fear YN! I will protect you!"- Saeko

Please the only thing you need protection from is Oikawa 😅

When Kiyoko returns, she brings your glasses up to you

🤓 ahh sweet victory!

"Hey YN"- an annoying voice shouts from the floor below "Now you can watch my awesome sets!"

A quote from, guess who?? Yep 🙃

"On second thought maybe I should take my glasses off. My eyes need a break"- you😌

Oikawa 👉🏻 "YN-CHAN" 😭😭😭

"Shut up shittykawa and leave YN alone before I break your face!"- Iwaizumi

Pls ✋️

Thank god for Kiyoko so you could see the amazing match that was Karasuno vs Seijoh 2.0 😊

[astaroth1357]

Brothers React to a Demigod MC 

So, I've gotten some interest to do a Brothers follow-up to a previous request of mine (Undateables React to a Cute, Badass MC), however, I've thus far refused to write one. Honestly, this HC actually plays on a trope I personally dislike and had it not been a request I would have never done it to start with. I just can't see any reasonable way a non-magic human can beat a bunch of demons, I just can't, and that hinders my imagination quite a bit. …But someone who’s not so human? That I can get behind. Fair warning, I grew up with the Percy Jackson series so that’s going to paint quite a bit of how I see modern demigods. Ready for things to get super-ultra fanfic-y for a bit?

Intro:

The day to kidnap bring the exchange students to the Devildom has finally come and the demons have all gathered in the Council Room to open their portal to the human world. Really, things started without a hitch - the portal opened with and their future student dropped down out of it and landed on the floor… before they suddenly leapt up, pulled out a weapon, and lunged at them!

… This isn’t your normal human, it is?

Lucifer

Oh Devil, this couldn’t have been any farther than what they wanted… They were looking for a human and they managed to pull out a halfling! A divine halfling no less!! Why wasn’t this in their file?!

Look, Lucifer might not be on good terms with his father, but even he knows he had it better than any children of the pagan gods… The levels of petty vindictiveness that run through that bunch are literally the stuff of legends...

After he and Barbatos were able to restrain the MC before they hurt themselves or anyone else, Diavolo explained everything to them and gave them a pardon for attacking the Demon Prince on sight… After they identified themselves and their parentage, Lucifer knew they were in for some shit…

He and Diavolo had to iron out an apology letter to their godly parent for days just to keep from saying anything that could accidentally cause a second Troy or worse... It was a mess...

But on the bright side, the “human” came pre-prepared for fighting monsters and demons, which honestly took a bit of a load off his shoulders. That’s less responsibility for Mammon - and in his experience, the less responsibility Mammon has, the better things usually turn out.

… Though their ability to actually hold their own in a fight did make things complicated sometimes - like whenever he was their perceived opponent... 

He wasn’t expecting to have to manage a being that was actually capable of meeting him toe-to-toe on the battlefield and it did hinder his intimidation factor to some degree…It was hard to be threatening to someone who’s likely faced worse than you could ever offer.

In the end it probably worked out for the best, as a live exchange student is better for Diavolo than a dead one - but man did it get on his nerves until they made their pact together… Be scared of him, dammit!

Mammon

The first time he tried to threaten the human, they straight up pulled out a weapon and looked like they were ready to whip his ass!! Didn’t they know he wasn’t being serious?? 😫

He really didn’t know why he had to be on babysitting duty, anymore... This huma-er demigod could handle themselves just fine!

When he first ditched them with Levi, he later found out they managed to cleanly toss his brother over their head and make a break for it all by themselves! And Levi’s no pushover either!!

Later, he saw them getting ambushed on their way back from school and they soundly knocked out about five demons before he even caught up to them… and he’s, like, fast and stuff… 

Their strength is kind of unreal at times, but he could tell they were still far from a mindless killing machine. They were more or less a normal person, they had wants and dreams like anybody else, but they just happened to be a long stronger than the average mortals around them. 🤷‍♀️

After he eventually got to know them and a bit about how their life worked, he felt a little bad for them... Who wants to be hunted down just for being born?

After learning about their struggles, Mammon ended up resolving to help keep them safe (even if a part of him knew they didn’t need him that much).

I mean, if the whole world’s against you, then you can use all the help you can get... right?

Leviathan 

Levi found out exactly one thing about them within the first two minutes of meeting them… their reflexes were killer.

After Mammon ditched them on Day One, he tried to drag the human to his room to tell them his genius plan but they broke out of his grip and threw him flat on his back like was just second nature! 

He was stuck on the ground for a full minute, trying to process what just happened, while they ran off into the House all alone…

Did he just get tossed around… by a human?? Was he really that pathetic!?!

Finding out later that they were actually half-god certainly helped out his self-esteem because, man, if he had lost so easily to a human of all things... He might have just never left his room again…

Levi pretty much kept his distance from them until they finally made a pact together and then he discovered that the MC wasn’t so scary after all. If he’s being honest, being in the same house as a demigod was actually kind of cool...! 

Like, it was almost exactly the plot of the show: “Wait, I Thought I Was the Son of a Pagan God So What Am I Doing in a Christian Hell??” but their MC seemed to know a lot more about fighting than the protagonist of that show ever did…

Plus, because he never had to worry about their safety, he had even more excuse to never leave his room. Win-win!

Satan

A demigod, eh…? He had done plenty of research into human world mythologies in his spare time, frankly he thought the old gods had died out - but it seems they were still up and kicking… and making babies for whatever reason? Horny bastards...

Satan's original interest in the MC was purely academic. It’s not everyday that you get to meet someone of such a unique heritage and he fully intended to learn if all the legends about their greatness were true… and well...

He could say that the MC was certainly different than how he pictured humans being. He’d never met very many before, but from what he could gather they were a weak race that really got by on wit and persistence… However, nothing about the MC was weak.

Their aptitude for combat was surprisingly sharp, both in skill and reflexes. He had once blown up at them in anger and not only did they dodge his swipes but they got in a good few hits themselves with a nearby lamp… He never once thought a mortal could give him a black-eye but, somehow, they pulled it off. 🤷‍♀️

Combine their physical skill with what magical gifts were granted to them by their godly-half and they were a force to be reckoned with… Even Solomon seemed to hesitate and think more about his actions around them (which is saying something for a sorcerer of his strength).

It’d be fair to say a part of him grew to respect the MC long before they ever made their pact and that respect only grew afterwards. If he had to be bound to any master, human or otherwise, he’d rather it be one that he could right about consider an equal not only as a friend, but in strength as well.

Asmodeus 

A demigod…? Oooo, he hadn’t come across one of those since he bedded Aeneas all those centuries ago… Such a gorgeous man, got all his looks from his mother~! 🤭

Asmo was probably the most interested in their godly heritage, but it felt like he was treating them like a zoo exhibit for a while… Something pretty and new to look at, but not exactly someone he wanted to know personally...

He openly and readily admitted that watching their little demigod in action got him hot and bothered (or well, more hot and bothered than usual ) but it didn’t take him to see they weren’t interested at the time…

He decided that he just had to have a pact with them after they saved him from Henry 1.0! It was before he noticed the giant snake and he was lurching back to strike, but the human swept in to knock him out of the way. They probably could have made mince meat of the creature themselves if Levi weren’t begging for them to spare his former pet...

Post-pact Asmo treated them with a lot more respect… but also still fanboyed over their fighting skills hardcore. 

Like, their body had to be fit to keep up with all those monsters, right?? What was their training routine? Could he watch?? Oh please say he can watch!! He just can’t get enough of that fighter’s physique…! 😍

Beelzebub 

So… the human isn’t a human but only part human? And the other part is a god? Does that make them any sturdier than normal humans…? Call him curious…

Beel was probably one of the few brothers who was legitimately weary of the MC from the beginning… He can get a certain feel for a person pretty quickly and something about them just felt…frankly, kind of dangerous.

But they also intrigued him a little… Beel’s used to being one of the strongest demons in any room he walks into (not a boast, just a fact) so for him to get that feel from a mortal was pretty impressive. A part of him just wanted to test them… you know?

So. He did. He asked them to help him train his martial arts one day and even with his awareness, he was not expecting the results that he got.

The MC was strong. Very strong. They were not only able to keep up with him and dodge his blows, but they were able to predict his moves and counterattack in kind. They didn’t even need to tell him that they had actually been fighting for their life for years, he could tell. They had a skill you don’t get from practice matches...

After that point, the two would go to each other to train and keep their skills sharp… but also just to spar for fun. Their fighting styles made a pretty good match and they bonded pretty damn quick because of it. 

If anime tells us anything, when you find a good fight buddy, you stick with them. Even if one’s part god and the other is a demon. 🤷‍♀️ 

Belphegor 

A demigod is still human enough to hate, sorry MC. Not that he knew about their godly heritage at first…

Really, he should have been a little more suspicious of how easily they seemed to take to life in the Devildom... Weren’t demons supposed to scare humans? Why did they seem so comfortable down here...?

His confirmation only came when he tried to enact the final part of “Use the MC to Escape the Attic!” plan and take their life to seal the deal… but oh boy, was he outclassed real quick… 

The MC had already socked him in the jaw by the time he got his full demon form out and then they threw him across the room by the tail… the TAIL!! And it hurt like a bitch, too!! Even during the full blown fight that followed, he could tell they were holding back and it pissed him off something fierce...!

Why was the MC so strong?!? Humans weren’t supposed to be strong!!!

His brothers heard all the commotion and the Lilith confrontation ended up happening up in the attic between a somewhat beat-up Belphie and a barely-scratched MC. Had Beel not come to his defense on instinct, it might have turned out worse for him in all honesty… Something about that human just wasn’t right…

He only found out about their god-half after everything settled down and he promised not to try killing them again (not that anyone thought he could...) and that put some things into perspective. So the Lastborn Ruler of Hell isn’t as strong as one mortal demigod…? Ouch. Okay, fine then... Whatever...

He does think it’s too bad he missed them beating the crap out of the rest of his brothers, though (minus Beel)... That would have been fun to see. 😔

So I tried to keep this one God-parent neutral, but I’ve upgraded this to its own series! Check it out if you’re interested! 😊

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes

[clouds-rambles]

The thoughts of a friend

idk im having a moment so borderline vent fic

hi leader of the winds it's been a while

i think i gave myself food poising from my dinner bc my stomach hates me rn

oh cool i copied the draft so i just had to get it off my clipboard and finish it

Pairings; (Intended platonic, but can be read as romantic) Venti & reader

Warning(s); crying, mourning, not proofread its like 2am

Keep reading under the cut!

You sigh looking to your lover, he’s so engrossed in his merry song that he hasn’t noticed your forlorn expression. Maybe he doesn’t quite remember the date, maybe he rather forget what time of year it is...

Typically a few months after Windblume both you and Venti go and visit Stormterror’s lair; he wants to remember Himmel for just a second longer and you want to remember that hydro user a second more. You can stand in mourning without hindering the Windblume festivities.

You sigh as Venti continues playing his music, maybe he’s finally forgotten... maybe the wind isn’t enough to tell the stories and traditions the both of you have forced yourself to hold so dear.

Maybe.. Venti forgetting such a day is actually a good thing. Maybe it’s you who lives far too in the past, wanting to properly mourn your first ever true friend, the first ever friend who empathised with your disconnect to mortals... maybe it really is time to move on, it was almost 3 millennia ago after all.

You lean over to Kaeya to announce your departure and the second you leave the Angels Share you are in Old Mondstadt stood in front a simple grave.

The grave is worn, it's been kept in good condition. But, considering its almost 3000 years old the writing are all but gone off of the stone. If a historian were to tell you when this headstone was planted they'd say on the day of Mondstadts revolution. But truthfully, it was put there two months afterwards to remember the girl who lays beneath it.

You lay a Cecelia on the grave. You would have planted some here some time ago, but Windwheel Asters had decided to make it their homes here. It's oddly nostalgic to you. The Windwheels wouldn't have dared to have grown while Decrabain was in power, and now they litter his old home in a blasphemous act.

You look from the Cecelia on the ground to the weather torn letters. You can't make out any of them, let alone try and get the name from the stone. Your mind remembers Morax telling you how stones may remember everything, but like anything they corrode.

You sigh and wipe your eyes of the gathering tears and you find your mind wondering what happens to an archon or someone of other immortal status when they start losing their memories. Characters that stick in your head, because you have known them personally, are Xiao and Decrabain himself.

You mind questions whether or not Xiao forgets things of his past. Or does he remember things vividly? He's never let you into his brain long enough for a definitive answer... But, on the other hand you can vividly remember Decrabains loss of memories, the way he'd punish you for things he barely remembers, the agreements and treaties the two of you held until you found yourself stuck in the birdcage he called Mondstadt.

Would that be you? Someone who lost their memories and becomes someone brutal? Someone that should only be stopped by, by... your brain doesn't let you think what ways you could be stopped by both Barbatos and their people.

You find yourself wiping another set of tears off your face.

"I'm surprised you actually came here today" Venti speaks up from behind you "You looked like you didn't want to" you sigh

"I have to pay my respects anyway" you reply putting a hand on the headstone "Is it okay to mourn someone I barely remember? I only remember the idea of her...." you ask, Venti sighs

"I'm not sure if I can fully sympathise with that" he replies "There are some things I've forgotten from back then but most of the memories are... fresh" he adds looking to his hands, you find yourself nodding

"I suppose but.." you sigh "I keep finding myself being scared of things that I barely, and on occasion don't, remember happening... is it not adolescent of me to fear things that I can't remember?" you ask turning to Venti. He shakes his head

"We are both complicated people, I can't give you a definitive answer" he replies with a soft smile, you shake your head

"What if these forgotten memories make me... make me into someone I'm not constantly doing anything and everything around th-"

"Are you comparing yourself to Decrabain?" Venti asks delicately

"If the shoe fits" you reply looking down "I'm degrading Venti... I'm not sure how much lo-"

"I won't have that talk" he tells you "I cannot lose you yet" he adds "Take it as one of those rare orders from Barbatos" you sigh and nod

A few moments of silence befall the two of you before you speak up again

"I'm done here, would you like to visit the bards grave?" you ask, Venti nods

Call Venti a coward all you want, but he holds his tongue on telling you the bards name after the interaction. If he can't offer you the name of the hydro girl right now it's for the best that he doesn't offer the bards name. Because even if you forget things you'll always be The Leader of the Winds that he holds so dear to him

[ey8508]

Rumors and Secrets: Victor | 李泽言

Note:

R&S for this card (CG above)

Chapter SPOILERS up to Season 2: Chapter 18-21 (read at your own risk)

Contains 5 chapters

Translation isn’t 100% accurate (or include grammar errors)

Every part for LZ’s dialogue would be in “this setting”

Do not repost to any other site (reblog is fine)

Chapter 1 Page 1 It's no exaggeration to say that the name "Li Zeyan" has run through my entire high school era.  This "evil fate" probably starts with a 31-point Chinese test paper. I'm Gao Qishan, only 17 years old at that time, but there are so many things that usually interest me. Games, animations, and football are nothing compared than reading a book in a room. But hey, it's a pity that my dad doesn't think so. "I only scored 31 points in the Chinese test, and I'm still here with a hippie smile!" In the study, the old man blew his beard, looking disappointed, "How can my son be so useless!" Page 2 "Your son is very capable. I was the MVP of the basketball game last night!" "Your PPP is useless! You are in the second year of high school, not the second grade of elementary school! You have a 31-point score and you have a face to play basketball? You don't have any shame or a competitive spirit. Do you not want to go to college anymore?!"  . I was about to reply impatiently, the old man took out a magazine from somewhere, poked his hand at the cover and yelled at me: "Look at the person. He founded the company at the age of 20. In just two years, he has been on the "Business Rising Stars" cover interview! Look at yourself again, someone who is almost 17 years old and does not have the realization of it, do you want to be in the worst generation in the future, ah?!" Page 3 I'm not happy to hear this: "What's so great about starting a company? Your son, I will start a company in minutes!” "I'm almost out of school, and I started my own company? Oh, I'm going to be better!" The old man raised his head, and the thick magazine almost hit my handsome face.  "Learn from others, and don't give me daydreaming here!" Page 4 I grabbed this "Business Rising Stars" with enthusiasm. A decent young man in a suit was looking ahead through the photo. On the cover was a striking headline: "Li Zeyan, an astounding leader in Lianyu City.” "This title is exaggerated!" Even if I was taught by Lao Gao, I was inexplicably better compared with this Li Zeyan, and I just threw the magazine under the sofa. Who wants to learn from him? Just looking at it is a tarnish to my ability! Page 5 But somehow, at night I tossed and turned and I couldn't fall asleep! The more I closed my eyes, the more uncomfortable I was, what did Li Zeyan do. When I turned over for the 100th time, I suddenly sat up. It was a task by old Gao to read the magazine anyway, so I decided to retrieve the magazine and just take a look. After sneaking into the study room, it took me a long time to find the magazine in the innermost part of the sofa. Page 6 "... Although Li Zeyan is only 22 years old, he is already the president of Huarui, an emerging medium-sized company in Lianyu City.  Starting from scratch, he started from a small office to now has hundreds of people. Every step he walks is particularly solid and decisive. Li Zeyan’s way of business is beyond ordinary. He is like a lion, born with a King's aura." All these compliments just for this, isn't it just descriptions of someone starting their own company? I just haven't paid much attention to reading.  Just relying on my ingenuity, and getting a high score on the tests, it is absolutely nothing when it comes to starting a company. Hmph, just you wait. Chapter 2 Page 1 The university in City A is not only one of the top five in the province, but also the top five in the country. It is a university that I, Gao Qishan was admitted to dignifiedly! How about that, I said I'm absolutely fine. In a blink of an eye, the freshman year has passed. In the past two years, I have also paid a little attention to Huarui. The development has been okay, it has not closed down, and the scale has doubled.  It's just normal development. Is it worth the old Gao's praise from time to time?  Every time he flipped through a financial magazine and sighed, "You are so young, so good", it sounds a bit too much. Page 2 As the saying goes, "Seeing is believing", I think this sentence is right.  Taking advantage of the summer vacation, I decided to apply for Huarui's summer internship to see in person how the company is, just not to waste my talents and financial knowledge. Soon I entered the building, but how can the interviewer in the middle feel a bit familiar, the more I look at it, the more I recognize... Wait, isn't it exactly Li Zeyan?! What's happening, is Huarui going bankrupt? Why is the president personally do the interviewing for the summer interns? Page 3 "Manager Chen has something to do, I happen to be free." Probably my shock expression was too obvious. Li Zeyan flipped through the information at hand and looked up at me blankly.  "Gao Qishan? First, briefly introduce yourself." I don't know what's going on. I was so startled by Li Zeyan that I couldn't help but straighten up.  After swallowing my throat, I mobilized all my attention, took a deep breath and said, "Hello, my name is Gao Qishan, and I am a freshman in the Department of Economics and Management of the University of City A..." Page 4 After introducing himself, Li Zeyan asked a few more related professional questions. This kind of small question is nothing to me. It seems that Huarui’s interview is nothing more than that. He occasionally knocked his fingers on the table subconsciously, and asked with a deep gaze: "Why do you want to come to Huarui for an internship?" The continuous response made me more and more relaxed. I changed my sitting position and quickly thought about how to deal with this new question. Judging from previous information, Li Zeyan is a person who likes to win at everything. He should appreciate the kind of answers that seem extraordinarily confident, right? Page 5 After carefully thinking about this, I straightened my back and raised my chin and said: Although Huarui is quite a new company, it has grown at an amazing speed, and the achievements it has made so far are obvious to all in the industry.  And although I am a freshman student, I think I have a very strong learning ability. In this regard, I have a lot of similarities with Huarui. Therefore, I think Huarui is very suitable for me and will definitely make me grow faster. Of course, I can definitely give back the same freshness and vitality for Huarui. With a confident smile, I finished my speech and waited quietly for Li Zeyan's nod. But to my surprise, a few seconds later I was greeted by a frown from Li Zeyan. Page 6 "It seems that you have confidence in yourself. To be a man and to do things really requires self-confidence, but everything must be controlled." Li Zeyan stared at me and said in a hurry, "Only by maintaining reflection and introspection can we truly make progress." I understood his words, and my face flushed. A few days later, I really received a notice from HR (Human Resources) and I didn't get hired. Page 7 Although I had a foreseeable result from Li Zeyan's remarks, when I really received a reply and recalled the interview scene, I was still very angry. After my sophomore year, I went back to the final exams and tried to fight for the first place. I'll make sure that my ambitions are not just mere words. I have written down the "new hatred and old hatred" on my notes. I will definitely use the shortest time to create my own territory, leaving Huarui far behind! Chapter 3 Page 1 Today is the first day of my "Yuanshan Group" moving to a new building.  Morning light came in from the spacious floor-to-ceiling windows, and I stood by the desk, proudly holding on to the brand-new office chair. In the next semester of the junior year, I used the dividends I participated in the project as the start-up capital, and I didn't need a penny higher than the old one, so my "distant mountain" just rose from the ground.  Isn’t it just 20-year-old to start a company from scratch? What's the difficulty?  When I founded Yuanshan, I was exactly 21, and the rounding is almost the same as Li Zeyan.  Because of this, my old man, Lao Gao stopped training me long ago, and I guess he must have praised me secretly. Page 2 In just a few years, Yuanshan has grown from a small company of eight people to a scale that now occupies a seven-story high-end office building, and the suffix has also changed from "company" to the word "group".  To be honest, my founder is very satisfied with Yuanshan's growth.  Although there is still a certain distance from Huarui, after all, they are also developing along the way, but it doesn't matter, I am still young, and sooner or later I can catch up. It didn't take long before the opportunity to "catch up" came. Page 3 I was originally interested in the land to the north of Lianyu City. When I heard that Huarui was also planning to bid on that land, I became more interested.  The Lianyu Municipal Government intends to develop the somewhat hindered northern side. At present, construction has begun to build a crossing bridge and a shopping mall, and this piece of land is nearby. "It is more than enough to build a six-star resort with 18,000 square meters and the supporting facilities can be added. Maybe Huarui made the same idea." I have paid attention to the recent developments of Huarui and have invested in four resort hotels one after another. The senior management of the company also agreed that the land is worthwhile, and if it can be won within the highest valuation of 89 million yuan, it should make a profit without losing it. Page 4 A month later, I came to the auction site with confidence.  Sitting in front of me at ten o'clock is Li Zeyan, the president of Huarui in a suit and leather shoes. After a few years of absence, I can finally compete with him. On the stage, the auctioneer gave an impassioned introduction to the land, and then said in a melodious tone: "The starting price is 35 million, and the auction will begin now!" As soon as the voice fell, several companies immediately raised their signs. But my opponent is Huarui. It is still early, so I have to wait for Huarui to make a move. Page 5 When the bidding became increasingly fierce, Li Zeyan finally raised his placard for the first time: "60 million." The opponent finally appeared, and I immediately raised the number plate: "61 million." As if he was just encountering an ordinary bidder, Li Zeyan never answered with words, but raised his placard again: "70 million." I continued to chase: "71 million!" Side to the front, Li Zeyan seemed to raise his eyebrows slightly. After a few seconds, he raised the number plate again, and said: "80 million." Page 6 "81 million!" As if finally realizing my bite, Li Zeyan glanced at me slightly sideways, then he raised the number plate, the noise was low and clear: "90 million." This figure has already exceeded the company's highest valuation, and the assistant quietly tugged on my sleeve, beckoning me to forget it. But if I really give up on this, I still feel no sigh of relief in my heart. The auctioneer has already shouted in front: "90 million twice." Page 7 "100 million!" My voice came out, at the last moment. Of course, Li Zeyan finally gave me a straight look. I watched his hand nervously, and saw that the number plate was never raised again, and the auctioneer had already shouted excitedly: "One hundred million! Yuanshan Group has come out of one hundred million! One hundred million once! Three hundred million!, make a deal!" Page 8 Finally got it!  Such a valuable piece of land I believe it will be a great help to Yuanshan, and it’s just around the corner to get rid of Huarui. I didn't even consider the cost of 100 million yuan. I just felt that my body was comfortable and exuberant, and the bright prospects were beckoning me. When Li Zeyan passed by me, my triumphant pride couldn't stop. "Thanks to Mr. Li for the bidding this time." Page 9 Li Zeyan put his suit jacket on one hand, and passed by me. I thought he would argue with me back, but Li Zeyan just raised his eyebrows uninterested, and then strode away without looking back. Okay, as the winner of the auction, I allow the loser to occasionally gaffe. Just when I was gearing up to do a big job, the Finance Department urgently sent a bad report. Due to my "passionate bidding", Yuanshan's capital chain suddenly had a problem. Chapter 4 Page 1 I urgently convened a high-level meeting, and after several discussions, the best solution at present turned out to be to invest in Huarui! Personally speaking, I have a hundred reluctances in my heart.  Not long before the auction, I took the initiative to bow to Hua Rui. Didn't that slap me in the face severely. However, the cruel reality lies in front of us. Yuanshan is not only my own person, but also the collective effort of hundreds of employees.  To let Yuanshan survive this crisis steadily, I can only and must "take the initiative to surrender" to Huarui. Forget it, "vote" just "vote"!  Although it was a mistake in my decision-making this time, Yuanshan's development prospects are so good that Li Zeyan should never not invest as long as his eyes are correct. Page 2 However, the negotiation process is still more difficult than I expected. It is not that Huarui has no intention to invest, but almost all the conditions listed are on the lowest line of the distant mountains. "If I remember correctly, the creditworthiness of Huarui's previous investment in the gaze lock company is not very high." I fought hard against the low pressure, and Yuanshan's creditworthiness has always been in the top four in the industry. "...with Yuanshan's creditworthiness Huarui's right to speak will definitely be improved. I think Mr. Li can think about it again." Page 3 "Do you think you are still eligible to negotiate terms with me?" Li Zeyan straightened his mouth, exuding deterrence, "...Huarui Investment in Yuanshan is not for charity, and has no obligation to pay for your suicidal behavior." He raised his hand and glanced at his watch, with a hint of impatience on his face: "Think carefully about it yourself." The long negotiation was finally over. Although Yuanshan and Huarui finally reached a cooperation intention, the whole process failed me. I thought I was about to be on the same line of competition with Li Zeyan, but I was beaten back to the former "interviewer" again. Page 4 By the area downstairs in Huarui, I was smoking a stuffy cigarette, and suddenly there was a faint sound of footsteps behind me. It turned out to be Li Zeyan. Although he was still expressionless, the murderous aura and arrogance from the negotiations seemed to have diminished. Li Zeyan steadily walked to my side: "Gao Qishan, I remember you once came to interview for a summer internship." I didn't expect Li Zeyan to take the initiative to speak. I was surprised. He said: "Several years have passed, and it seems that self-confidence is increasing." If it wasn't for my lose, I stood up slightly: “Although I made a mistake this time, as far as the strength of Yuanshan is concerned, I have the capital to be confident." Page 5 "Yuanshan's strength is indeed pretty good, but don't rush to eat the cakes that you can't eat for the time being. Being high is far from a long-term plan for enterprise development." Li Zeyan said lightly, and took out a card from his pocket and handed it to me, "There will be a practical business forum in Lianyu City next week. You can come and listen when you have time." A practical business forum? What do you mean, is he mocking me for being too pragmatic? The inexplicable enthusiasm and self-esteem suddenly appeared, and I blurted out: "Mr. Li, even if Yuanshan is really not as good as Huarui now, there is no need to humiliate people like this, right?" Page 6 Li Zeyan frowned: "What are you talking about?" He paused, his eyes sinking, "I thought you would be an opponent you could look forward to, but I didn't expect the vision to be just like that." Without additional explanation, Li Zeyan turned and walked away after speaking. I was stunned, looking at Li Zeyan's steadily leaving behind, I couldn't help but relive the conversation just now in my mind. Could it be that Li Zeyan meant that because he regarded me as a potential opponent and hoped that this opponent could become stronger and more competitive, did he propose to let me participate in the business forum? Page 7 That's right, it seems that only such an explanation can make sense! Thinking of this, I couldn't help blowing a whistle. After all, it was an "imaginary enemy" and pursuit of goals since the age of 17, which can be affirmed and recognized by Li Zeyan. It is simply an easter egg that comes with the negotiation, and it is worthy of the old man to praise me ten times. I was being silly and happy. Suddenly my fingers hurt, I have forgotten about my cigarette that was about to burn my fingers! Chapter 5 Page 1 With Huarui's capital injection, Yuanshan passed the crisis steadily. After more than half a year, the foundation of the resort has gradually taken shape. Just when everything seemed to be going in a good direction, early this morning, the news of "the crash of the president of Huarui" directly bombed all major platforms.  Reminiscent of the so-called "homicide list" that was suddenly leaked on the internet a few days ago, I inexplicably feel that these two things may have some connection. Who on earth wants Huarui to sink in the water? Wait a minute, which company announced the list. Could it be that their person in charge is secretly playing tricks? Page 2 Before I could find anything out of my investigation, within a few days, the news of "Which company claims that Huarui has maliciously acquired a large number of pharmaceutical companies" once again detonated all platforms! "Deliberately monopolizing the pharmaceutical market will inevitably cause the price of medicines to rise, which is obvious." "Just for profit, this behavior is very bad!" "Even Huarui's own workers and can't stand it, which shows how terrible Li Zeyan's actions are!" Page 3 Opinions on the Internet are divergent, and public grievances are boiling, and they all accuse Huarui. But I don’t believe it. Although I have only met Li Zeyan several times in person, for so many years, because I have always regarded him as an opponent and target, I have studied Huarui and Li Zeyan’s behavior more than anyone else. The nonsense on the Internet, I don't believe a word! I browsed the web quickly, staring at the almost identical title and searched viciously. Page 4 "Huarui’s reputation plummeted, Li Zeyan fell into a situation where everyone was clamoring and angry, and the heads of the company was clearly cut off from him." In the video, the host's voice kept ringing into my ears. All the signs made me firmer in my previous thoughts: It must be looking at which company is crossing the river to demolish the bridge! I immediately called the assistant to the inside line: "How much do you hire me for a large number of naval forces? How many can you hire? How many! That's right, I have to spare no effort to clarify for Huarui, and by the way, I will focus on the company. Going right now!" I know that this "bad strategy" and only a small help but I haven't beaten Li Zeyan righteously, how could Huarui have an accident in such a situation! What I want is not the taste of winning without a fight. Page 5 Probably because of anger, I couldn't help but send a message to Li Zeyan: The outside world said that Huarui's energy is exhausted. You will not be reduced to the point where you still need to borrow money from me, right?" This message was sent, and I did not expect Li Zeyan to reply to me. However, when it was almost midnight, I suddenly received an email from Huarui. ‘Huarui has always been a responsible company, and will do what it says without fear of any storms. Now everything is running normally, you don't need to worry about it.’ Signer: Li Zeyan. Page 6 Looking at this email, I couldn't help but smile in the middle of the night. Also, Huarui has always been fighting steadily, and Li Zeyan has never fought unprepared battles. Maybe he is playing a big move. Otherwise, how can I say that he is my respectable and close opponent! As for my secret match with Li Zeyan. Give me another three or four years to see who wins and who loses.

[solomonish]

Solomon Headcanons

I didn’t like my old headcanons for him and I think I have a slightly better feel for him so I’m posting these bad boys. Maybe at this rate I’ll just post Solomon HCs every month 

Also this turned into more of a “I’m going to talk about Solomon in depth and maybe throw in one headcanon about kissing him” and is no longer “lol what kind of dates do you go on? <3″ so uh. do with that what you will. It’s also SUPER LONG (or feels that way) so make sure you have a hot second to read them

you can find my for real headcanons for him here but I don’t necessarily stand by them anymore? They’re just there for fun now lol

Solomon’s Relationship With Relationships

Solomon has been alive for...a long time, and with that naturally comes a lot of experiences, negative and positive. It’s also natural that it would also have him break out of traditional structures regarding...everything, but especially things regarding relationships and specific other people.

(Not to get sociological or philosophical about society or whatever, but the way we view everything is accented heavily by the end. With exceptions, and this certainly varies from culture to culture, but as a general idea, we view things expecting them to take place over the span of 70-100 years. Certain positions in politics or business or something try to look at things generationally, but how capable of that are we and how far ahead can we truly see?)

(What I mean to say is that immortality naturally shifts the entire context in which you would view things that were expected to be “lifelong.” What once existed to enrich a life is now a tether to a system that doesn’t necessarily suit his existence.)

Psychologically, however.....I don’t think Solomon has tried to (or even can) rewire himself entirely to the point where he doesn’t feel love. He’s already got a fondness for Simeon and Luke (always crying about him calling them “dear friends” in the circus event i don’t know if he says anything in the lessons because i’m only on like 21 LOL) so he’s clearly capable of fondness and affection.

Not that those should equate exactly to romantic feelings (because they shouldn’t), but there’s undeniable similarities between platonic and romantic affection and, for the purposes of speculating about an immortal’s capability to still feel both, I think they can be equated in this regard.

There are a lot of assumptions I’m making about him to make this post, namely the following: that there is still reconciling to be done internally between his immortality and humanity, that Solomon’s composed and confident nature is a bit of a front (only a bit - I’ll explain more later), and, related to these two, that he even cares about humanity and that he still wants to preserve his humanity.

While this might be my perspective as a regular human, I really don’t believe that the desire to be human and fully encompass what that means has left. If anything, I think his intrinsic desire for knowledge and power stems from it, and he’s just suppressed the “mushier” emotional parts of that as a sort of....defense mechanism, if you will.

SO the tl;dr of this is that you know how alloromantic people just like feel in love and they get their romantic crushes and it’s natural and they can’t control it? Solomon gets that! He just isn’t the type to swoon over someone or really make it known.

He also as a person is big on being manipulative shady and in control, so if he were to just be super obvious about having a crush on someone and not being able to do anything about it, that would sort of tarnish his whole image.

So yeah, I think Solomon just has his emotions on a tight leash when they probe to be out of control. Clearly, he doesn’t have every part of him under this sort of watchful eye (whether that’s because he still wants to feel genuine happiness or he knows if he came across as emotionless and calculated people would trust him even less, I haven’t decided), but those that cause trouble stay behind locked doors.

Additionally, I don’t think Solomon is opposed to falling in love. I’d bet he’s had lots of different partners over the years and remembers them fondly (you know, assuming they ended well)

I also think his immortal status makes dating different? I feel like doesn’t really date to find a life partner because. well. (gestures).

That’s not to say that he doesn’t date casually sometimes or something. In the terms of a serious romantic partnership, though, it’s rare that it happens because he knows that it’ll die with them (and stay within him for probably forever, even if/when there comes a day he can no longer remember their name or their face).

Another assumption I’m making that I forgot to mention: I think it’s rare that Solomon’s serious, long-term partners know the true extent of the magic he dabbles in. Maybe he lets them know it’s real magic, or he pretends it’s all show magic and parlor tricks. Sometimes he pretends his pact marks are tattoos, sometimes he tells the truth. If ever these confessions are laughed off, he laughs them off too and creates a cover story.

He doesn’t intend to lie, but it’s very difficult to meet someone and explain........all of THAT. On which date to you mention that you can control 72 demons? Do you send a card explaining how you’ve been alive since Biblical times and you’re not even sure if you birthday is your real birthday anymore, let alone how old you are? And should that card be store bought or homemade?

So while it’s rare for Solomon to have a serious romantic partnership, it’s even more rare for him to be entirely understood or accepted for EVERYTHING that he is because he can’t get into it. Arguably, that hasn’t happened since his “death” in his original timeline.

A crush for Solomon isn’t a hopeless affair, either. Should you choose someone else, he’ll allow himself the disappointment and move on.

With Solomon, romantic love sparks naturally, but genuine true love isn’t some all-powerful, unstoppable force. He falls more in line with the people who believe it’s a choice and a decision, somewhere between “it’s purely a biological impulse we just gave a fancy name” and “it’s the magic that makes life more enjoyable”

With MC

In the case of MC, however, I think he might initially see it as bothersome or a hinderance to whatever his plan is with being down there for the exchange program. Maybe he convinces himself he’s just naturally attracted to you because you’re human like him. Once he comes to terms with his feelings and gets to know MC a bit more, he might even see it as a lost cause seeing as you already have several of the brothers vying for your affections.

For Solomon to act on a crush that he’s already decided is hopeless, it’ll be up to the MC to show that THEY are interested in HIM

He finds no particular pleasure in being someone who is chased after or “playing hard to get,” but he already has a complicated relationship with complicated relationships. He’s gonna need a down payment of affection a sign that there’s anything even there to pursue 

Traditional flirting, while he’ll have his fun with it (and probably enjoy it at least a little - who doesn’t like feeling desirable?), doesn’t really work for him. Lots of people and creatures have used it to try and charm him, plus he has a pact with Asmo, so at this point he really sees it as more casual fun then an indication of true interest.

Honestly, to get him to realize “oh shit I actually have a chance,” you’re going to have to do two main things: 1) make him feel chosen over the others, and 2) respond to his displays of affection

Making Him Feel Chosen

This isn’t really a competition thing, or some selfish hoarding of your time. The thing is, Solomon knows he isn’t the only one in the running and he knows that anything he has to offer, somebody else could give you a portion of it.

(You won’t get the same experience or combination of traits with somebody else obvi, but with 11 suitors and an added chihuahua, there tends to be a little bit of overlap with everyone)

A crush for Solomon is a romantic interest, but if he intends on pursuing a serious relationship (which, I feel, is what he intends to be the final goal of his crushes as opposed to more casual affairs), he needs to see SOME reciprocation

Being with him is an ordeal, maybe a lifelong one for you, so he needs that assurance that it’ll be worth it and there aren’t better avenues

Basically, this means that ✨ quality time ✨ is of the utmost importance

At first, it doesn’t have to be anything big. Sit with him at lunch when you see him in the cafeteria, meet him in the library while you wait for your demon escort to be finished with their extracurriculars, chat him up in the one class you have together (and then ask him to help you study what you missed in class by talking. it’s a required transfer class but you already know everything about it, right, Solomon? 🥺)

As your relationship progresses, that’s when things start to get harder. Invite him out to things that you think he’ll enjoy, and say yes to as many excursions with him as you can. Bonus points for making it clear that you want to go when you’re unable to attend. 

(He finds himself a little embarrassed how happy it makes him when instead of just a “no” or a “sorry, not today” he gets something like “I’m on dinner duty so I have to spend that time preparing :( but we should definitely make a date so you can tell me about it later!” It makes him feel like a priority.)

It isn’t until you find yourself comfortable enough to ask him to accompany you to something you want to do that he starts to realize you’re hanging out with him for him and not because he’s just offering up a bunch of fun new experiences for you to try.

You don’t even have to say “hey, i’m pretty sure you know all about the birds in the Devildom aviary but I haven’t had a chance to go and would really like to spend the day with you. Wanna come with?” If it’s something that he knows you know isn’t in his wheelhouse, he’ll be able to figure out that OH.....you’re inviting him for HIM.....oh

Make him feel like a priority, like he’s the one that you want, even out of all your choices. You can be as enthralled by the birds in that aviary as you want, just as long as you make it clear that your enthusiasm to be with him is on the same level and he’ll finally kick himself into gear.

Responding to His Affections

Now, you don’t have to do anything you don’t like. I hear in his dame card devilgram he’s a consent king, and he stands by that every day of the week

He also isn’t the type to need an exact equal to everything he does. Yes a relationship is a two way street, but this isn’t saying that if he gets you a gift you need to present him something with equal or greater value within the next 24 hours. he’s not mammon haha i’m so FUNNY

Just...let him know that he’s doing things right. His serious relationships are few and far between and people change as often as the times do, so make sure that he knows what he’s doing is landing. He’s not insecure per se, but he would like to know that he isn’t making a fool of himself entirely, you know?

Don’t brush him off in front of the brothers or he’ll think he’s read the situation all wrong and you’re back to square one. If you do it because you don’t like touching and he put an arm around your shoulder or something, that’s fine, but if he thinks you’re uncomfortable being with him in front of the brothers he’ll wonder if you even liked him at all.

To him, a secret relationship isn’t really feasible. First of all, those brothers are ALWAYS in your business so bold of you to think you’ll have ANY secrets by the time the exchange program is done, and secondly, don’t you both have enough on your plate that you shouldn’t make something that makes you happy needlessly complicated?

He is an odd case and knows there’s a lot that comes with him, so if you’re uncomfortable simply showing that you’re in a relationship and reciprocating, he’ll think you aren’t equipped to handle.....All That.

In case you haven’t noticed, he’s weird. He’s a weirdo. He doesn’t fit in. And he doesn’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen him without that stupid cape on? That's weird.

If you respond to his affections in a similar way, such as putting you arm around his waist or a hand on his back when he puts an arm around your shoulder or reaching up to fix his hair when he reaches to mess with yours, it’ll make him happy for sure. He doesn’t have any specific expectations for you but he’ll like to feel like you’re on the same wavelength.

A lot of his affections are morphed into specific and targeted teasing (but not like *gently bullies u* teasing). It’s a lot of inside jokes at your expense (and the more inside jokes he has, the more he probably likes you)

It’s also a lot of messing up your hair, sharp pokes and frustrating games like “guess what?” “i don’t know, what?” “i told you to guess, MC.” “ugh...you won the lottery” “guess better” “please don’t do this to me Solomon”

He probably responds best to Acts of Service and Quality Time (though at any stage in the relationship he’s a flexible man). While he’s trying to woo you to solidify his spot in first place against everyone else, if you continue to make the effort to be around him or like. recognize he’s taking time out of his day to romance you and do something for him in return he’ll cement the fact that oh yeah, this is happening between the two of you

(not to say that romancing you is a chore, because it’s not, but man if it doesn’t make him happy that you’re wanting to make his life easier on him so he can pursue the other things he enjoys, too.)

What a Relationship with Solomon is Like

He isn’t the biggest person on PDA, or at least not on purpose. He won’t see you and immediately be like ‘oh there they are i need to kiss them kiss kiss kiss’ or whatever, but he’s not averse to it?

He doesn’t want physical affection to be a big deal, or at least not in public. unless that’s what you’re into ;) If the two of you are out and about and you kiss his hand, or you’re a generally physically affectionate person he’ll smile and respond and be generally unbothered by it, but don’t expect him to ever really have the desire to like make out in public or something. Really, you probably won’t get much more than a quick kiss because he DOES always have other things on his mind.

You will NOT be able to get out of him messing with you. If you need him to tone it down that’s fine, but the more you let him get away with, the less energy he’ll have to redirect into other troublemaking activities

Has a weird thing with licking too probably? like he’s not gross about it and it’s not like a NSFW fixation but he’ll do that mom thing where he licks his thumb because “you’ve got something on your cheek” and then reveal that he’s a LIAR

or he’ll put his face really close to yours and stick his tongue out when you turn your head so it hits your cheek

it just gets such a DRAMATIC reaction out of you so that’s why he does it? if you ask him genuinely to stop he will but if you comment on it he’ll just give you a small smile and not say anything then continue to do it

when he messes with you, it’s ok if you say he’s doing something weird but don’t make him feel childish. setting boundaries (and making regular observations - he is kinda weird) is more than alright but admonishing him just feels......off and will turn him sour for a bit

VERY appreciative of someone who supports his adventurous side. Also fond of someone who’s happy to tag along but knows that some things he has to do on his own.

Even if you don’t want to go, he’ll appreciate the support or the interest you show in what he does. Ask him where he’s going and what he’s doing there, but ask him because you’re interested and not because you’re overly worried.

Please be there for him when he gets back to talk about it. He really likes feeling important or cool when he tells his tales, even if all he did was go and catch a few magic salamanders or something.

PLEASE be a soundboard for all of his ideas. He knows that sometimes he’ll talk about things that are way over your head that he hasn’t learned yet, but he really does want your undivided attention. It doesn’t matter if you’re encouraging him, debating with him, telling him the idea is stupid (though don’t pull this one too often unless you intend to ask to be let in to the fun) or just watching in confusion. It’s important to him that you value what he has to say, and he hopes one day that he’ll be able to tell you anything and you’ll have a response to it all. (Even if you don’t learn magic to the degree he knows it, he hopes you’ll get to a point where you understand what he wants, even if you don’t know what magical elements he’s talking about or something.)

A relationship with Solomon is one where you’re both independent, but also can’t imagine not going to the other at the end of the day. It’s startling how quickly you become constant in the other’s life despite being in COMPLETELY different stages of magical development and learning about the demon world.

The relationship will be lots of fun, but there will be many serious moments, too. 

They’ll happen randomly. Maybe something from a class or a spell reminds him of something from his past, or maybe he’s reminded that he can’t remember so many things that he knows were important to him.

Sometimes, his Tuesday night blues will feel like a life-changing existential crises for you, but please, do what you can to be there for him in these moments. It worries him how much love and happiness he’s lost, especially when he knows he promised to remember it.

Once you get him to think aloud, he’ll say super heavy stuff life “What if I’ve forgotten who I really am and now I’m just something other people and magic have morphed me into?” or “When will the human race evolve or go extinct and leave me behind?” and it fucks you up, really. It fucks him up too

But please be patient with him, because there’s something important he has to get off his chest eventually. He’s worried already that he’ll forget you the way he’s probably forgotten so many others, but he doesn’t want to offend you and know that saying it would come off as uncaring.

You won’t have an answer for these moments, and he knows it. It’ll be best if you just hold him tight, stroke his hair if you’re laying down, and reassure him that you don’t care.

With how long he’s been alive, you’ll have to get past caring if you’re his “one true love” because he doesn’t have that. He gave up the right to having a one true love in exchange for never-ending life. But he still loves and he does love deeply, it just has a lot to cut through to properly be articulated.

So tell him. Tell him you know he’s had other loves, that you know you might not even be the best partner suited to him that he’s had. Tell him that you know when your time has come, he’ll find someone else eventually.

Tell him that what matters to you is that he loves you now, that he’s making things work with you now, and that he isn’t secretly yearning for some lover that’s come to pass or yet to come when he’s with you.

You can’t control what happened in the past or what happens in the future, but right now he’s yours and you’re his and he needs to learn to take things one lifetime at a time. Right now is YOUR Solomon time, and what happens after is just a consequence of time and you’ve already forgiven him for it.

instead of “mom says it’s my turn on the xbox” it’s “god says it’s MY turn on the Solomon”

send that to him for real and he’ll probably never forget you lol

How to Make a Relationship with Solomon Work

With all this in mind, the key to a good relationship with Solomon is keeping his head on his shoulders.

He’s ambitious, powerful, scary smart, and capable of so much more than you can even guess and he knows it. It’ll be good for him to have somebody to keep him on the ground.

Now, don’t be overbearing. If you try to stop him from going places or try to hinder his pursuit of knowledge out of fear for his safety, that’ll cause unbelievable strain on him. You will have to learn to let him work his things out the way he wants to, and it won’t always be the safest or most responsible way either.

He doesn’t mind a gentle scolding if he gets hurt. He won’t say it, but he kinda likes to be reminded how important he is to you.

Also be down to have fun and be a little reckless. Your safety will always be a priority to him, but nobody ever got anywhere without a little struggle, right? Sometimes adventuring with him and following him into the darkest magical corners of the world will require multiple (sometime literal) leaps of faith, but he’ll always be there to catch you.

Let Solomon work for you and the relationship, and you work to keep him sane and remind him that he can belong somewhere, even when he’s been himself for who knows how long and nowhere ever really stays the same.

You’ll always have to remind Solomon that not everything revolves around magic and power. He’s not been mortal for some time, so he gets caught up in the heady and lofty topics and ideas. 

Remind him about the simple joys of just having fun and goofing off, that not every moment not spent on homework has to be spent on potions. Remind him (in the human world) how cool a sunset is, or convince him to go through a museum and pretend he’s seeing everything for the first time. 

As much as he lives for understanding the grand topics most people can only dream of beginning to grasp, remind him of the little things. Remind him of human indulgences that he’s abandoned. Get him back in touch with that part of himself.

Solomon as a character feels like he’d be really aloof, but he’s honestly extremely devoted to what he invests his time in. He shows this devotion in small ways that feel more like riddles sometimes, in the way he always comes back after a rather dangerous magical excursion, in the way he shortens his time away so he can get back to you, in the way he learns to quiet his mind so he can properly take care of you and what you need and strengthen your relationship.

One thing that I think is a hallmark of a relationship with him is that Solomon loves things that can teach him more about what he doesn’t know. You don’t need to be the smartest person on the planet, or have a specialized and thorough education in some bizarre topic, or come from somewhere entirely different than what he knows to keep his interest.

You are uniquely human, and you help teach him about himself, the one thing that he can never seem to properly grasp and understand the way he wants to.

More importantly, you are you, the one who made pacts with all seven demon lords, the one captured his heart and promised to take care of it when you could throw it away for anybody else.

And you are the only one who could say those words that he believes. Hopefully, you’ll believe him when he says them, too.

[a-queer-seminarian]

So sorry if this is breaking news to anyone, but: the Bible is ableist. Its pages hold some really shitty stuff about disabled persons.

...AND it’s also affirming of the goodness and wholeness of disabled persons, just as we are!

it turns out that among the many authors of the many texts collected into the Bible, there were differing views around what we now call disability!

so whenever disability comes up in a given passage, i can’t keep my brain from immediately trying to sort it: is it a Good Text for disabled persons, or a Bad Text?

i try to resist that easy binary, because the answer is usually somewhere in between. that certainly seems to be the case for this week’s lectionary reading from Mark 9.

there’s so much wild stuff in Jesus’s little monologue in this lectionary passage, but let’s start with verses 43-47 (my rough translation incoming):

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off; it is better for you to enter into The Life impaired than, while having two hands, to go away into the gehenna, into the unquenchable fire.

And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off! It is better for you to enter into The Life limping than, while having two feet, be cast into the gehenna.

And if your eye should cause you to stumble, cast it out; it is better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God one-eyed than, while having two eyes, be cast into the gehenna, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. For everyone will be salted with fire.

oh lord, not the hell talk!! anything but hell talk!! this whole passage bristles with a million ways to misuse it. (homophobia cw: anyone else ever get told “if your sexuality causes you to sin, cut it off — this passage is proof gay people should be celibate!” just me?)

now, my focus is on what Jesus says here about disability, but as we talk about that, better ways of reading the text will come up. for instance, that last verse about how everyone will be salted with fire? to me, that suggests Jesus’ vision of this “gehenna” place does NOT = the standard Christian idea of hell. first off, it’s a place not of punishment, but purification — which is a word heavy with baggage these days...what if I say “reformation” instead? And if that’s the case, i imagine one’s stay there isn’t eternal — why bother reform people who are gonna be shut off in a fire-filled jail forever?

once those fires “purify” you, i imagine your stay is through and off you go into “The Life,” because you’ll finally be ready for it. so that’s one option for getting ready for The Life / The Kingdom of God — or, Jesus says, you can opt instead to get rid of the things that “cause you to stumble” in advance by......cutting off a limb or gouging out an eye??

now. i could be wrong but. if we start by taking this text as literally as possible, with physical stumbling and a physical limb-removal taking place......wouldn’t it be easier to avoid tripping if you’ve got two eyes to see obstacles with, two feet to step over potholes with?? even today when prosthetics are sometimes an option, there’s an adjustment period where you have to relearn walking.

so it seems that Jesus is making one of his trademark statements meant to subvert expectations -- the last will be first, the foolish are proven wise, and those with two feet are more likely to stumble. chances are, he’s not speaking literally. it’s not your literal foot or hand you should be chopping off -- it’s a metaphor for something else.

but before we consider what exactly it’s a metaphor for...where does this ironic little twist leave actually disabled persons? is it shitty of Jesus to be using disability in this way? is this like his “blind leading the blind” & “spiritually blind” comments elsewhere in the Gospels, where he stamps a disability with a moral judgement?

yeah, i do think it’s kinda crappy to use real disabilities for an object lesson, for hyperbolic effect, for shock value. “better to be impaired” (even tho, the subtext seems to be, It Sucks To Be Impaired) “than end up in Gehenna. Trade one terrible thing for a still bad but not as bad thing!” My impulse is thus to throw this passage right into the Bad Text box —except!

Except, i feel like this text holds some positive implications about how Jesus viewed disability, too. 

First off, there’s the implication that one can enter into “The Life” — abundant life, “the world to come,” God’s Kingdom — while disabled. (i wish that were just a given, but it’s not; it’s actually exciting to hear confirmed!)

In the Hebrew Bible (the “Old Testament,” the scriptures we share with our Jewish neighbors, the texts that Jesus would have read and known), the most common assumption about disability is unfortunately that disability = imperfection, and imperfection is something that should be kept out of contact with God.

Now, there are authors & stories within the Hebrew Bible that offer a counter-narrative to that assumption! Two quick examples: Exodus 4 establishes Moses as having a speech impediment, yet he has many close encounters with the Divine. Meanwhile, in Isaiah 56:1-8, God not only welcomes in eunuchs — whom Deuteronomy 23:1 forbade from entering God’s Assembly — but even gives them a place of honor there!

So Jesus’s perspective is not brand new; he simply continues the counter-narrative that other Jewish rabbis and prophets established before him. Still, it is significant that he takes the status-quo-subverting perspective that actually, disability and wholeness are not at odds!

While Jesus’s primary aim with this little passage is not about disability, his weird self-disabling metaphor does imply an attitude of welcome for disabled persons, in that he seems to take it for granted that disabled persons are not barred from The Life of wholeness and abundance he’s talking about.

It’s obvious to him that they don’t even need to be made not-disabled to get there! (Plus, there is no suggestion that once there, one regrows one’s lopped-off limbs or eye / becomes abled again.) This isn’t the only time Jesus expresses this idea of disabilities present in God’s Kingdom, either — my fave is the parable of the banquet in Luke 14 (i have a whooole video about that passage, if you’re interested).

Moreover, Jesus’s closing remarks about salt — which at first glance seem to be something of a non sequitur — can be linked to the Gehenna fire stuff when it comes to the theme of im/purity. Let’s look at that last verse of the lectionary reading, which follows right after Jesus’s claim that “everyone will be salted with fire”:

“Salt is good; but if salt becomes unsalty, with what will you season it? Hold salt in yourselves, and keep peace with one another.”

Another weird little riddle from our favorite riddle-master. unsalty salt? instructions to stay salty?

One way to read this is to focus on the purifying and preserving uses of salt — the way it can keep food from going bad, which was particularly important in a time before refrigerators. in the previous verses, Jesus told his disciples what to cut off — anything that impedes them on the way into abundant Life. Now, he tells them what to hold on to — the stuff that, like salt, clean out harmful things and preserve helpful things, thus enabling abundant Life.

So yeah. In naming something culturally considered an imperfection — disability — as something that can easily enter The Life, no problem, Jesus is making an argument for what is truly impure, what truly impedes wholeness. And it’s not disability! ...So what is it? What are these stumbling blocks that Jesus likens to feet, hands, and eyes?

To find out, we have to rewind to the start of the lectionary reading, a comment from the disciple John that actually kicks off Jesus’s whole spiel:

John informed him, “Teacher, we saw someone throwing out demons in your name, and we stopped him, because he wasn’t following our way.”

But Jesus said, “Do not ever prevent him! For there is no one who will do a powerful work in my name, and will be quickly able to speak evil of me. For whoever is not against us, is for us. Whoever might give you a cup of water to drink because you are in Christ’s name, amen I say to you, that one will not utterly lose his reward.”

The disciples have a certain way of seeing the world, and their actions against someone who is not one of them, but still using Jesus’s name to cast out demons, show us what that way is. They see the world in terms of us vs. them, in vs. out, one right way and many wrong ways. It’s this perspective that impedes them from supporting other people’s kin(g)dom-building work when it differs from their own.

But Jesus tells them they need to stop thinking this way, and start recognizing that there isn’t just one road to the Kin(g)dom, but many — and to quote Jesus’s words from other parts of scripture, you’ll know that someone’s work is good when it produces good fruit. This dude might be doing things differently from how they do it, but the fruits of his efforts are good — the casting out of demons, which frees people up for new life. So don’t stop him — support him! Be glad for his work!

To sum up the entire passage now that I’ve laid it all out and shown how the seemingly-disjointed parts of Jesus’s speech connect, I see his argument as something like this: “That dude you tried to stop is not against us; we can see that by the consequences of his actions, which are positive! His goals are the same as ours, so don’t hinder him just because his path is different from yours! Now, here’s an example of people/behaviors that ARE against us: people who cause little ones to stumble. And you know what you should do with such stumble-makers (or else the stumble-causing behaviors/attitudes)? Cut them off. Let go of anyone or anything that keeps you from abundant life, from the liberation God intends for all. Meanwhile, hold on to the things which purify you like salt — the things that liberate you to enter wholeness. Do it now of your own accord, or accept that it’ll happen later, and it won’t be very fun.”

To reiterate what all of that has to do with disability theology, I’ll share what my friend Laura said when I brought all these ideas to them. (Laura is the host of the Autistic Liberation Theology podcast, which i highly recommend for anyone who wants to hear more Bible stories told through a disability lens!)

Laura noted how common perspectives around dis/ability lead people wrong today, impeding our liberation. Our society teaches us that in order to function as whole persons, we need to be able-bodied (and neurotypical), and that the kinds of accommodations that disabled persons require limit their quality of life. When those ableist assumptions are the lens through which we view the world, that can “cause us to stumble” in the metaphorical sense — can impede us from loving ourselves and one another fully, and from fully participating in the diverse Kin(g)dom of God.

They offered two examples:

When a person with a mobility impairment that could be improved with a wheelchair avoids using that wheelchair because of internalized ableism, preferring the increased suffering that walking more than their body can healthily do over being “wheelchair bound,” that internalized ableism is a stumbling block keeping them from abundant life. Learning to let go of those beliefs, to use a wheelchair when they need to, will — contrary to that “wheelchair bound” language — bring liberation. 

Their next example imagined a parent who puts their autistic child through ABA therapy in order to get them to talk, make eye contact, and otherwise behave like a non-autistic person, due to the belief that autistic persons are missing elements of a full personhood, or that they can only live a happy life if they learn how to mask their autistic traits. However, in reality, ABA therapy brings the child pain and trauma — it impedes rather than enables their quality of life. Letting go of that need for your child to communicate through spoken language and otherwise behave like an allistic will make room for celebration of who they really are!

As Jesus’s comments in this passage imply, a disabled person can enter into “The Life” of wholeness and kinship that is the Kin(g)dom of God just as they are. To try to sever their disability from them would be the hindrance to that liberation. To deny that there are many ways to participate in the Body of Christ  impedes the incoming Kin(g)dom.

So let’s take this message to heart. Let’s consider what points of view, what assumptions about what is necessary for wholeness, are currently keeping us from abundant life, or causing us to stop others from their abundance-bringing work. It’s time to learn how to let those harmful assumptions go — and hold tight to the things that bring true wholeness.

For more on this text, check out my translation notes, which include a lot of commentary from D. Mark Davis’s own exegetical work.

For more on disability theology, you might enjoy my #disability theology tag on tumblr or my Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series. This video exploring the many different perspectives on disability found within the Bible is particularly pertinent.

Finally, what do you think? What good news do you hear in this Mark 9 text? What parts of it feel like a stumbling block for you, dredging up hurt or confusion?