#|Hey Sailor.| — A Widow's face

[witchthewriter]

𝑴𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆   𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗.

Paid story for @yourwinchesterbros. Word Count: 2.1k Warnings: swears, kidnapping, a lotta violence

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

Jax left without another word, from either of you.

It felt like your heart had unlocked from your chest and fell through your body, down 

    down 

        down it went. 

Falling through the floor, through the earth and into eternity.  

   Stupid. You felt so stupid, and … foolish.

When he left, the door banged shut. But you barely registered it. Only that the dogs were now whining at the front door, confused and hungry. However, your mind was elsewhere. A myriad of questions fighting for your attention. But one stood out amongst the rest:

 What just happened? Had he felt the same?

A slave to your thoughts, it was lucky that there was a seat behind you because your knees gave out. Sitting there in silence, you still felt the warmth of his hand on your cheek. The hot breath that tingled your face. A mix of beer and cigarettes. You had been so close that you were able to smell the leather of his kutte. The faded freckles over the bridge of his nose, see the stubble on his face.

Time ticked by but you weren’t a woman of inaction. Sitting there wasn’t going to help anything. It wasn’t going to solve, nor heal.

 Getting up, you fed your two dogs and grabbed your keys, Jax be damned.

                                                            - ✦ -

The closest bar wasn’t that much of a drag, but you knew there were better ones in Charming (only slightly). Yet you couldn’t be bothered to drive too far, you wanted somewhere close by. Somewhere you could possibly walk home from …

 The door had the words ‘Bar’ written across it in big white paint, and you pushed it open. The stench of liquor filled your nostrils and as soon as the door swung shut behind you, you were enveloped in darkness. There was barely any light. Not even a window to the outside. It felt like another planet.

Sitting down at the counter, you heard the music turn up a little. Whoever was choosing the playlist had a love for 80s rock, specifically Metallica.

You’d heard Enter Sandman about three times in the hour you had been there. With three glasses of rye and ginger down, the grimy bar started to seem a whole lot more appealing. The alcohol was starting to do its job; the trickle of warmth and giddiness was entering your system.

Good, you thought. One of your legs now dangling from the chair.

  “Another?” asked the old bartender. With his short grey beard and matching hair, he seemed like somebodies grandfather. With each drink he had given you water and slid over the peanuts for you to munch on.

  What were you doing here? The thought entered your mind as you swung around and scanned the bar. The dimmed lights made it seem like night, and whenever someone entered or left, the sun stunned you.

Still lost in your thoughts, you didn’t feel the presence beside you. The young handsome man leant his arms on the bench, still standing and peered at you. He wore all black, even down to his boots; they were worn in but cleaned as best as they could be.

  “Hey,” his voice was loud enough just to be heard over the sound of Enter Sandman – being played for the fourth time.

Balking, you swivelled in your chair to face him, instantly feeling roused.

“Hi,” you leaned against the bar and signalled for another drink. Five minutes later, the drink appeared next to your hand – with a fresh bottle of water. Looking into your eyes, the old man didn’t say anything but you heard him loud and clear. Be careful.

  “You uh, here by yourself?” One of the man’s eyebrow raised as he turned his body completely, to face you. There were multiple rings on his fingers as he interlaced them.

Confidence on the up, you slowly moved your head to one side and let a slow smile form on your face.

 “Sure am,” you felt like a black widow. A spider waiting for her meal. Or a siren, waiting on the shoreline for a sailor.

Now you knew why you were here. You had to forget who had broken your heart and why he had done so.

The man smiled back, understanding flashing in his eyes. You picked up your drink and downed it in one.

  All the man did was cock his head toward the door and you nodded. 

A prickle formed on the back of your neck, but you ignored it, put it down as a chill from the air conditioning. You knew what you wanted, there was no harm in this…right? It was fine. Utterly and completely fine.

                                                          - ✦ -

There hadn’t been any Sons stationed to look after you; there hadn’t been an order since you weren’t working. The Sons had been visiting anyway, so there was no need for one.

However, Happy had been on his way back from a run and saw the bar flash by. He’d recognised your car and instantly put his blinder on to enter the parking lot. 

Pulling up beside your car, he unclipped his helmet and let it hang on the bike.

 Happy considered going inside, until he heard the screaming.

                                                           - ✦ -

Even before Jax got the call, he knew something was wrong. Maybe it was his decision to leave to leave you, but whatever the reason, unease had followed him home.

His mobile rang just as he tucked Abel into bed. The little boy had fallen asleep on his father’s shoulder, a kid’s movie playing on the tv. Thomas was on one side of Jax. Their little heads resting against their father’s bare arms.

Gemma sat on the chair to Jax’s left, the television lights reflecting on her black heels. Usually, Wendy was there morning to night, day after day. She had stepped into the role of mother with ease. Well… from the outside it seemed so. Inside she was in pain. Not just because she was running on limited sleep, but because now she knew what Tara had experienced.

The bond her biological son had with her would no longer grow. And it was her turn to raise another woman’s child. The irony of it had felt like a stab to the heart.

  “Wait, wait, she’s what?” Jax couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Happy’s voice on the other end was rushed, worried. 

Concern spread throughout Jax like an electric shock. He felt sick. This was the exact reason why he had refused you. Even though he wanted you so badly; wanted to choose you. 

    But he knew something like this would happen. God, you hadn’t even goddamned kissed and they had taken you.

                                                        - ✦ -

“What are you doing?” Your heart was thumping, hammering, pounding. What had seemed like a gentleman turned out to be a guy from another club. Four members had pulled you into the van.

You had fought; kicked, punched, bit, elbowed. A few times you had nearly gotten away. But it was a good thing they had four guys, because you could’ve taken on three.

  “Why are you doing this!” You questioned again, their faces uncovered, and kuttes’ on.

“Money,” one guy said, and another told him to shut up.

   “I don’t have any money-“ you countered, doing your best to slowly undo your binds. They had tied your hands and feet but left you without a blindfold or a gag. 

“Not your money,” the same guy repeated. This time he got a whack from the same guy who told him to shut up.

Idiots. Both you and the men were idiots, you thought cruelly. Silently beating yourself up for being in this situation. Although, unbeknownst to you, this was going to happen no matter where you were. 

A target was on your back as soon as you were seen at the clubhouse.

     A man neither you nor the club knew, had been gathering intel on the Sons of Anarchy. And Jax was his main target.

His sons weren’t easy to get to, since they were protected 24/7. Gemma and Wendy were by their sides when they weren’t in school. Prospects trailing them, most of the time too.

The Sons were always packing heat, so it was too unpredictable to target them.

 So, that left you. A single woman, with no family or close friends, who had grown close to Jax during these rough times. A perfect target. Especially since you were on your own a lot.

And it was just too perfect; you driving yourself to this bar on the side of the highway. No regulars, only random members of public who wouldn’t remember you nor the man you left with.

  “No one I know has money. Please, just let me go-“ You said through gritted teeth, fear and irritation clawing their way through you.

          “Mmmm, but Jax Teller does.”

                                                         - ✦ -

“And you saw her get in the van?” Jax was already slipping on his boots, grabbing his holster, and walking out the front door. His mind wasn’t clear nor was it foggy. It was somewhere else, high above him, making decisions even before he had a chance to think.

“Jax? What’s going on?” Gemma called from the doorway; her arms folded tightly against her chest.

    “Just look after the boys and lock everything. Don’t open the door to anyone you don’t know.“ If Jax hadn’t sounded so worried, she would have said “okay dad,” but she saw true fear in her son.

There was a rumble of a bike and Jax sped away. He was headed to the clubhouse knowing the rest of the guys would be there. Happy would have called them after Jax. He’d need them for this. And they’d want to know what was going on.

    You were connected to them now, all of them. You may not wear a kutte, but you’ve done things that have risked yourself. All for the club. And that truly meant something to these men.

                                                           - ✦ -

“I’ve got nothing to do with Jax,” you almost spat the words. An anger that you couldn’t understand starting to grow.

  “We’ve got information that says otherwise, sweetheart.”

The man that had led you from the bar piped up, and you scowled. 

   “Fuck you,” the words were a snarl. And you so badly wanted to scrape your nails down his smirking face.

  “You certainly wanted to,” he replied, giving you a sly wink. Full of disgust, you kicked the seat in front of you as hard as you could.

 “Do that again and I’ll take a finger,” the driver said calmly. He hadn’t said anything this entire time. His eyes never leaving the road.

    “Then take a fucking finger,” you replied darkly, doing your best to kick and punch with your bound limbs. With your fingers free, you lunged at the man closest to you, opening your arms to catch his head between the open space and squeezed his neck with your still bound hands.

  You dug your fingers into the man’s eyes, knowing you weren’t going down without a goddamn fucking fight. 

 “FUCK!” One guy yelled, scrambling to rescue your own hostage.

��HOW IS SHE DOING THAT?” Another spluttered, stunned at first then moved. But the van came to a sudden halt and everyone lurched forward. 

  The man you were suffocating as well as blinding, accidentally hit your chin with his head due to the momentum. Luckily chins have stronger bones then the top of one’s head, and the guy screeched louder.

  “Out! Now!” The driver bellowed. He unclipped his seat belt, walked around the car and slid open the van.

Everyone was quiet. Obviously confused, but no more than you. Was he letting you go? Hope filled your chest until he grabbed you by the hair and pulled you from the van.

   “It’s happening. Now.” Was all he said before pulling out a phone and dialling.

                                                        - ✦ -

Jax had pulled into the garage’s lot, jogging across the concrete, he felt the desperation almost leaking from him. Without even grasping the door handle, the door swung open to reveal the Sons inside.

  “Any word?” Chibs said, letting Jax walk in before closing the door.

“No,” Jax replied, out of breath. He couldn’t sit down. But his legs felt like jelly. Tig’s leg was bouncing, his eyes squeezed shut. 

   Plan. They needed a plan. All Happy had saw was you being dragged into a black van and it driving off. Before he got on his bike, he tried to look for the number plates but there weren’t any. That’s when he called Jax. 

Jax wiped his forehead and then placed his phone on the counter. 

      His phone rang instantly. 

[singlequantumevent]

Dogtown: Part One

Content Warnings | Next Chapter

There’s this place up in Massachusetts called Dog Town. It was home to a group of widows, sailors’ wives, witches (if you believed the rumors), and the dogs they kept for safety. They say that after the inhabitants died, the dogs left behind became feral, ghosts, or werewolf-like beings that stalked the town.

I don’t know how much of that is true. But with my life being what it is? It wouldn’t surprise me if it were.

I.

“Hey, little lady. How’re you?”

The dog in the kennel wagged her tail fiercely. She had been in that kennel for about five months now. This didn't surprise Bo; the dog, Daisy, was a Pit Bull mix. Not full Pit Bull (there was probably some kind of retriever in her), but she looked just enough like one to scare off potential adopters. It was a shame. Daisy was one of the sweetest dogs in the shelter. She barked the least, too.

“Look, Daisy, I know you’re happy to see me, but I need to replace your blankets. Can you let me in?” After a few more seconds of tail-wagging, Daisy backed away from the door. “Thank you.”

Bo stepped inside. Almost immediately, Daisy jumped up like she was trying to climb into his lap. “Whoa, hey, big girl.” He knew he had ten other kennels to clean, but Bo couldn’t resist kneeling down to give Daisy some attention. “I’m glad to see you too, sweetheart.”

It really did suck that she was still there. Bo would adopt Daisy if he could, but his apartment only allowed small dogs. Which was...ironic, all things considered.

If they only knew.

Bo scratched behind Daisy’s ears and smiled. “Okay, big girl. You going to let me take those blankets without turning it into tug-of-war?”

The big, goofy grin on her face said she made no promises.

.

II.

Bo didn’t own a car.

On the one hand, he didn’t see the need to own one. He was within biking distance from his job, he didn’t have to pay for gas or auto insurance, and he didn’t have to deal with Florida’s shitty drivers. On the other hand, it was hotter than the earth’s core most days. He worked up a sweat getting to work, he worked up a sweat at work, and he worked up a sweat on the way back from work. By the time his day was over, he just wanted to lie on the floor and do nothing.

Unfortunately, not everyone was as lazy as he was.

“Not tonight, Ginge, I have to work tomorrow.” Bo rubbed his eyes. “Sunday. I have Sunday off. Yes, the whole day. Uh-huh…okay…” He scratched furiously at his scalp, mussing up already sweat-slicked dark hair. “I can do Saturday night, too. Should be good beach weather. It’s too damn hot for anywhere without water.” He listened to the voice on the other end and laughed. “Yeah, skinny dipping. Of course. I’ll see you then. ‘Bye, Ginger.”

Once he hung up, Bo sank back to the floor. The linoleum tiles were cool from the past fifteen minutes of concentrated air conditioning. They felt blessedly cold against his skin. “This year,” he said to himself. “This year, I’m getting a car.”

Not likely. He said the same thing every year, and it hadn’t happened yet.

.

III.

There were a lot of strays in the area. Most of them were cats. You saw them everywhere: lounging under cars at the Wal-Mart, perched on walls, watching with distrustful eyes. Cat gangs, Bo always thought when he saw them. He didn’t trust them.

Every now and again, though, he would see a stray dog. As a proud employee of the local Humane Society branch, Bo felt it was his civic duty to pursue these animals before they got hurt. This was easier said than done. He might’ve trusted the dogs more than he trusted the cats, but damn if the dogs didn’t make things difficult.

“C’mon!” he said aloud as the dog ducked into someone else’s yard. “Work with me, here!”

The dog was not working with him. In fact, she seemed very intent on working against him as much as possible. Bo couldn’t blame the dog for that. There was always a chance that the stray in question had been hurt by humans. She had no way of knowing she wasn't going to hurt him.

If it weren’t the middle of the day and if I were closer to home…

Bo shook his head. No sense in thinking about it. After all, there was no guarantee that Plan D would work any better. All he could do was keep chasing the dog and hope he didn’t get yelled at for being on someone else’s property.

“Hey…” Bo advanced warily into the yard. “Look, buddy, I’m trying to help.”

The dog's ears perked up at the sound of his voice, but she didn’t run. Good. Please, no more running. “That’s it…c’mon…” He kept moving forward, very slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements. “Steady, girl…”

He and the dog locked eyes. He could feel her sizing him up, smelling him, trying to decide if he was friend or foe. He willed her to come closer with everything he had in him. Please, please, please…

She considered his pleas. Then, she took off.

Oh, come on!

Bo took off after her, but he knew it was a lost cause. The dog was much faster than he was. She was out of sight within seconds.

He wasn’t sure what was worse—the fact that he had lost the dog, or the fact that he was probably going to be late for work now.

I swear to God, if some punkass bastard stole my bike…

.

IV:

No one had stolen his bike, and he made it to work on time.Bo’s supervisor for the day took one look at his beet-red face and let him take a few minutes to sit down. “What the hell happened to you?” he asked as he passed Bo a water bottle.

“Almost late.” Bo slurped noisily from the water bottle, not caring how much ran down his chin and neck. It felt good. “I was trying to catch a stray.”

The supervisor didn’t look phased by this. Trying to catch strays was one of Bo’s unofficial duties at the shelter. “You can bike a bit more slowly next time,” he said. “I mean, what’s the point in being on time if you collapse from heat exhaustion?”

“Right. Right, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Bo still felt overheated when he got started. He took a second to douse his head with the water hose before using it for its intended purpose: re-filling the dogs’ bowls. “Don’t look at me like that,” he told the dogs as he walked down the row. “I was trying to save one of you. She wouldn’t listen.”

The dogs didn’t care. Most were just happy to get some water.

Daisy was still in her kennel when Bo reached it. He’d expected that, but he was still disappointed. “Hey, Miss Daisy.” She licked his hand when he held it out to her. “Hard day?” Her tail wagged slightly. “Me too, girl. Me too.”

.

V:

Then came the weekend.

Bo considered bailing several times Saturday morning. He’d had a long week, and the idea of spending the evening playing video games in air-conditioned splendor sounded heavenly. But he’d said he would show, and it had been a while since he’d seen his friends. Anyway, arrangements had already been made for Fred to give him a ride. Fred did not take no for an answer.

“You smell like shit." Fred was also very intrusive about people’s personal hygiene, though what counted as smelling bad for him was a bit different than it was for normal people. “Did you take a bath of straight Old Spice or something?”

“Would you rather I smell like kennel?” Bo shot back.

“Over whatever that is, yeah.” Fred’s tone was as blunt as his features—slight underbite, nose with a broken look to it, hair cropped short. “We’re driving with the windows down.”

“Whatever, man.”

They made the drive to the beach in silence, save for the sound of the air rushing by and the occasionally labored sound of Fred’s breathing. He sounded like that sometimes—rough and snuffly, as though he were perpetually congested. Bo tried not to worry about it. Fred always insisted he was fine. Then again, you could set Fred on fire and his only response would be a mildly annoyed sigh. He wasn’t one for complaining. Bo admired that.

When they arrived at the beach, it was getting close to off-hours. Technically, they weren’t supposed to be there, but Ginger knew a guy. Ginger was an I know a guy kind of gal. Three cars were waiting in the parking lot when they arrived. There was an older car that, while sporty-looking, had clearly seen better days; a pickup truck with a perpetual forest smell to it; and, finally, a bright yellow VW bug. He recognized their owners as well—Artemis, Ginger, and Dot. Also with them was Olaf. He must’ve hitched a ride with Ginger. His car had been on the fritz lately.

“Gang’s all here,” said Bo as he got out of the car. “Hey, G—oof!”

And there, as usual, was one of Ginger’s overly enthusiastic hugs. She actually managed to pick him up a bit. “You work too much,” she told Bo as she put him back down.

“Good to see you, too.” Just as Bo was starting to recover from Ginger’s hug, he was picked up again, this time by Olaf. “Whoa, hey, big guy!”

“Try that on me, and I’ll bite you,” Fred grumbled.

“Oh my gosh, don’t be such a baby,” said Dot. She lightly punched Fred’s arm. “We missed you, too.”

Fred grunted. If you knew where to look, you could see the smile forming on his face.

Artemis’s hug was much gentler. “I’m glad you could make it,” she said. “We all really missed you.”

“I missed you guys, too.” And he had. He really had. “Is the beach all clear?”

“Just about,” said Ginger. “Only a few stragglers left.”

Those few stragglers took about twenty minutes to leave. The pack spent that time passing around a bottle of beer and chatting. Bo updated them on the shelter situation, who had come, who was gone, who remained. There was a collective groan of disappointment when he mentioned that Daisy was still there. “So, that aside,” said Fred as he tossed the bottle into a nearby recycling bin, “anything interesting?”

“Well…I failed to catch a dog?”

The rest of the pack looked at him with similar startled expressions. “You?” said Dot skeptically. “The premiere dog catcher in the area?”

Olaf giggled at her choice of emphasis. Bo rolled his eyes. “I have my off days too, you know.”

“Did you try…?”

“I was in the middle of someone else’s neighborhood. I couldn’t.”

“Boo.”

“I’ll find her eventually,” Bo said. I hope.

The last of the stragglers walked by. The second they were in their car, the pack made a break for the beach. “Finally!” whooped Olaf, who somehow managed to take off his shoes while he ran. “I thought they’d never—hot sand! Hot sand!”

Bo laughed, though he immediately felt bad for it. “Easy, big guy.” He glanced over his shoulder one more time before starting to take off his shirt. “Don’t kill yourself.”

The rest of his clothes came off, deposited in a heap in the sand. His skin felt too tight. It came off next, deposited in the sand on top of his clothes.

The sand was hot against his paws, so he ran to the ocean. Ginger followed, her golden fur shining in the setting sun. Dot overtook both of them, despite the stubbiness of her legs. Olaf trundled behind, high-stepping to avoid scorching his massive paws, and Artemis followed him, holding back from her usually considerable speed. Finally, at the back, was Fred, trundling along.

They ran through the water, chasing waves and each other until the sun went down. But not even that slowed them down. They didn’t need the sun to see.

Not when they were like this.

[ourgameends]

Natasha Tag dump & verses

Bio [X]

Face - |Hey Sailor.|

Headcanons - |Nothing lasts forever.|

Open Starters/Plotting calls/Starter Calls - |Let me put you on hold.|

Wishlist - |I blew all my covers. I gotta figure out a new one.|

Main Verse - Post Endgame- |I died ... but even Death wouldn’t hold me.|  [Canon Divergent]

Before SHIELD - |I have no place in this world.|

Agent of SHIELD - |What happens in Budapest stays in Budapest.|

Avenger – |I only act like I know everything.|

Post Snap– |I get Emails from a raccoon.|

AU -  |They did something to me ... I’m not the same anymore.| [Post - Winter Soldier]

[sunmoonandeddie]

apartment 4d

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 2,621

summary: There’s nothing Bucky loves more than the widow down the hall and her son.

warnings: Tiny bit of angst and some cussing.  Mostly fluff.

a/n:  Thank you so much to @indyluckycharlie for commissioning this!  I hope you enjoy!

Bucky Barnes was a simple man.  He loved his family, Steve, his apartment, and you.

You, the pretty widow.  You and your son, Eugene, lived in 4D, right down from where he lived in 4A.  After your husband had died in the war, you’d been forced to move since you couldn’t afford the nice house you once had.

And maybe he’s sick.  He’s gotta be, considering the fact that you had lost your husband in the same war that he’d been fighting in, that he’d lost his arm in and almost his sanity with it.  He’s gotta be sick, right?

Because otherwise he wouldn’t dream of coming home to you and Eugene, of sweetly kissing your cheek.  He wouldn’t want to teach Eugene how to tie his shoes and shave his face when the time came.

Speaking of.

A grin spread over his lips as he came up the stairs and saw you trying to unlock your front door while also holding your baby boy on one hip and your groceries in the other.  Your son, clad in a cute little outfit that looked almost like a sailor’s uniform, whined as he tugged at your hair.

“Baby,” you cooed, wincing as you tried to not get upset.  It had been a really rough day and him pulling your hair was just making it a little harder since you were trying to open the door.  “Please don’t pull Mama’s hair.”

“Hey, you want some help?” Bucky called out from the top of the stairs, his hand still holding onto the rail.

His voice breaking the silence startled you, judging by the way that you jumped and dropped your keys.  “Oh, uh…  That’d be lovely.  Thank you,” you said, giving him an exasperated smile as he came over and grabbed them from the ground.

“Here, let me help,” He said after opening the door.  He grabbed some of your groceries, though he couldn’t take all of it since he’d left his experimental prosthetic at home.  Howard was still tweaking the design since it hurt if he kept it on too long.

“Thank you,” you breathed out as you managed to get inside and you set Eugene on the floor with a few of his toys.  “Today has just been a nightmare.  Eugene gets overwhelmed so easily and the supermarket was horrifically packed…”  A snort.  “I’m sorry.  I’m rambling.  You probably have things better to do than listening to me complain.”

But there was almost nothing that Bucky would love more than to listen to you complain about literally anything for the rest of his life.  “No!  No, don’t worry,” he insisted as he stepped towards you.  “I don’t mind…”

Your eyes felt hot as you tried to fight tears, your cheeks flushed.  “Sorry…  I hate crying…”  God.  Here you were, crying in front of a man you hardly knew.

“You really don’t have to keep apologizing,” he insisted as he set the groceries he was holding on the kitchen counter.

The dark green countertop was a stark contrast to the white wood of the cabinets and a compliment to the soft green walls.  It wasn’t light enough to be mint, but not dark enough to be forest.  He could see the care that you clearly put into your home just from the kitchen, considering the fresh greenery that framed the circular window, a potted plant sitting on the sill.

Eugene was talking animatedly to his toys in the living room, completely unaware of their conversation in the kitchen.

Somehow, even with the nightmare you had claimed to be through, you still looked absolutely stunning.  There was a stain from what he suspected might’ve been Eugene’s lunch on your chest, and the victory rolls in your curls were starting to fall.  Your fiery red lipstick was a little smudged in the corner, and before he could even stop to think, he reached across the counter top and gently wiped it away.

“There,” he breathed out, his voice barely audible.  There was a sparkle in the depths of your eyes that he wanted to capture and hold onto forever.  A kiss at the corner of your lips.

And he didn’t deserve such sweet things.  Not after everything he’d done.

He couldn’t stain you red with his sin, put a traitor’s ring on your finger.

“Thank you,” you breathed out, your eyes locked on his.

And it was like he suddenly forgot his own argument.

He’d fall to his knees at the altar of your love and beg for forgiveness.  He’d repent until he was repenting his own name and etching yours into his heart.

“Mama?”

And your son.  He’d do everything he could to love him and show him what a real man was if you’d let him.

If you’d let him love the both of you.

“Yes, my love?” you asked as you scooped him up and placed him on the counter.

The spell between you two hadn’t been broken, just… momentarily suspended.  There was still the magic that came from a moment clinging to the air.  The domesticity of it all was so apparent as your eyes met his for just a second.

“Can Mr. Bucky stay for dinner?” He asked, tripping and stumbling over his words like any toddler would.

A honey sweet smile spread over your lips as you looked up at him.  “Well?  Can Mr. Bucky stay for dinner?” You asked.

And he did.  He stayed for dinner.  And then stayed for dinner the next night and the next.

Bucky stayed for dinner seventy-two times before you invited him to stay the night.

You two had shared a lot in the last few months.  You’d completely fallen for him, somehow letting all your walls down.

The sheets softly rustled as you climbed into bed, your heart pounding.  You’d made sure to wash them that same morning, wanting them to be fresh for when he came over.

Your nicest nightgown, a shift made of soft blue silk, slid against your skin as you peered up at him, watching as he slowly undid his shirt.  The metal of his prosthetic gleamed in the soft light coming from your bedside lamp.  Warm orange light lit up his face and made him look like some sort of Donatello sculpture.

“Um…  This isn’t too pretty, so I understand if you don’t wanna look,” he said, his hands visibly shaking.

“I can handle it,” you insisted, inhaling sharply when he let his shirt fall from his shoulders.

The left side of his chest was a spider web of pink scar tissue.  It stretched halfway across his chest and almost down to the waist of his pants.

Bucky grimaced as he reached up with his flesh hand and undid his prosthetic, biting his lip to keep from crying out.  It disconnected, and he carefully set it to the side.  What was left of his arm was even more scarred up, though it had clearly been operated on to make it easier for the prosthetic to be attached.  “I told you it’s not pretty,” Bucky grunted.

But you simply opened up the blankets for him to crawl in, watching as he toed off his shoes before letting his pants fall to the ground.  “All of you is pretty, James,” you murmured as he climbed in beside you.  Your hand found his cheek, your thumb running over the soft skin.  He’d recently shaved and the stubble had yet to grow back.

“Not as pretty as you, darling,” He said as he wrapped his arm around you to pull you to his chest.  His lips pressed to yours in a happy sigh, your foot running up his leg.

“James?”

“Mmhm?”

“I was thinking…”

He was still kissing you, though his lips had migrated from yours and were giving attention to your cheeks and your neck.  “Yeah, baby doll?  ‘Bout what?”

“Halloween is coming up…”

A kiss to your chest.

“Yeah…”

His hand sliding up your thigh.

“And I was thinking…”

His nose nudging against your collarbone.

“Mmm…”

His thigh moving between yours.

“What if you came trick-or-treating with Eugene and me?” You asked, flustered beyond belief.  Bucky and you had started getting frisky a few weeks after you met—it wasn’t like you were a blushing virgin, after all—but he still managed to get you all worked up in a matter of seconds.

He leaned back, his blue eyes wide.  “Really?  You’d want that?” He asked curiously.  “But…  But we haven’t told him that we’re… you know.”

“I know,” you said reassuringly as your fingers ran through his shortly cropped hair.  “But…  I want to tell him.”  You kissed his forehead, your leg hooking over his waist.  “My…  My husband wasn’t a kind man.  He didn’t hit me or anything like that, but…  He wasn’t good.  I didn’t know men could be good until you came along.”  Tears pricked your eyes as you cupped his cheek, letting his head rest against your chest.  “I want you.  And I want Eugene to know what a good man is.  I want him to be a good man like you.”

He nodded, sniffling as he nuzzled further into your neck.  “I want you.  And I want him.  I wanna be your family.  Your husband.”

“Let’s start with trick-or-treating.”

It was a few weeks until Halloween, but Bucky went all out.  He got his mom, Winnifred, to make the three of you matching outfits, making you look like a scarecrow family.

“Thank you for doing this,” you said softly to the older woman as she helped you get Eugene into his costume.

“I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing,” she insisted quietly, taking a deep breath.  “You know…  They told me he was dead.  I got a telegram telling me that my son was dead because he fell from a train.”  Her blue eyes, so much like Bucky’s, were already glassy with tears.  “And then one day…  He just wasn’t dead anymore.  He was on my doorstep with nothing but the clothes on his back and one arm less than when he’d left.”

Your heart ached for her, for the mourning she had done and the grief that still clearly lingered in her heart.  “I only got a telegram, too,” you said after a few minutes, letting her do your hair.  “When they told me my husband died…  I just got a telegram.  And the last thing…”  You coughed to clear your throat.  “The last thing I said to him before he left was if he signed up to go fight in a war while leaving me at home pregnant, then he wouldn’t have a home to come back to.”

“We all say things we don’t mean,” Winnifred said kindly, her calloused fingers gently twisting your hair into an updo.  She placed little pieces of hay here and there to match your costume.  “And I’m sure he knew you didn’t mean it.”

Your eyes drifted to the living room, where Bucky was sitting with Eugene on his lap as he read to him, already in his costume.  “I’m lucky to have Bucky.”

“He’s lucky to have you, too,” Winnifred said with a smile.  “I hadn’t seen him smile or laugh in months… and then all of a sudden he’s coming over for Sunday dinner and talking about some girl he met that lives down the hall…”  She took a step back, finishing up.  “There.  You’re all done and ready to go.”

It was rather chilly outside, but you weren’t really paying attention to the weather.  Your heart was too warm from watching Bucky walk with Eugene, hand in hand as he helped him go to each house to get his candy.  His sweet little, “Twick or tweat!” made you grin every time.

You didn’t get back to your apartment until almost ten at night, and it was way past his bedtime.  Giving him a bath was an adventure as you both worked to get him all cleaned up in a mess of splashing water and bubbles.  Eugene found it hilarious to try to get the both of you as wet as possible, his cheeks flushed with delight.

“Okay, buddy.  Story time, okay?” Bucky said as he tucked him in, the both of you sitting on either side of him.  “You get one book and then you gotta go to bed.  It’s real late.”

Eugene nodded, his eyes starting to droop.  Now that the rush had faded, he was quickly becoming more and more sleepy.  You gave it about five minutes before he was out like a light.

“The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams,” Bucky said softly.  “There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid.  He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white.  He had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen.  On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the Boy's stocking, with a sprig of holly between his paws, the effect was charming.”

Your eyes were soft as you watched him, your fingers scratching your son’s scalp as he listened as intently as he could.  What had you done to deserve Bucky?  What God had you pleased so much that he deigned you worthy of his presence?

His voice was like deep velvet as he continued to read, smooth as molasses.  And if you weren’t careful, you were sure to fall asleep just like your son was.

“One evening, when the Boy was going to bed, he couldn't find the china dog that always slept with him.  Nana was in a hurry, and it was too much trouble to hunt for china dogs at bedtime, so she simply looked about her, and seeing that the toy cupboard door stood open, she made a swoop.  ‘Here,’ she said, ‘take your old Bunny!  He'll do to sleep with you!’  And

she dragged the Rabbit out by one ear, and put him into the Boy's arms.”  Bucky grinned down at Eugene as he saw his eyes start to flutter shut, continuing to read, “That night, and for many nights after, the Velveteen Rabbit slept in the Boy's bed.  At first he found it rather uncomfortable, for the Boy hugged him very tight, and sometimes he rolled over on him, and sometimes he pushed him so far under the pillow that the Rabbit could scarcely breathe.  And he missed, too, those long moonlight hours in the nursery, when all the house was silent, and his talks with the Skin Horse.  But very soon he grew to like it, for the Boy used to talk to him, and made nice tunnels for him under the bedclothes that he said were like the burrows the real rabbits lived in.  And they had splendid games together, in whispers, when Nana had gone away to her supper and left the nightlight burning on the mantelpiece. And when the Boy dropped off to sleep, the Rabbit would snuggle down close under his little warm chin and dream, with the Boy's hands clasped close round him all night long.”

“I think he’s asleep,” you whispered as you looked up at him, having snuggled down in the bed.  The moonlight lit up the room, giving a halo-like glow to everything around the two of you.

“I don’t mind,” he said, his arm sliding around both you and Eugene, bringing you two close as he continued to read.

You stayed awake for as long as you could, a faint smile on your lips.

"’Wasn't I Real before?’ asked the little Rabbit.  ‘You were Real to the Boy,’ the Fairy said, ‘because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to everyone…’”

[emmaannaelisabeth]

in today's episode of sailor-wife!kaz i am going to make you stop breathing. ladies and gentlemen and crows and knives and bombs and guns, here is PART 10

inej draws in a sharp breath, looks around, tears in her eyes. the city has gone dark, darker than it has ever been before, and it is not just the night that envelopes her, it’s the fact that she cannot find her boys. she doesn’t understand what she did wrong - she followed their trail, thought she was close, did everything she use to do, but nothing. she finds nothing, nothing but scattered pieces of her broken heart on the dirty rooftops.

where are you, she thinks. where are you kaz? where are you jordie?

she closes her eyes, shakes her head. what if they’re dead? what if she’s alone. what if she wasn’t there when her small boy, her own flesh and blood, her heart, lost the light in his eyes. what if jordie is lying somewhere, cold and stiff and broken and hurt and…

inej snaps her eyes wide open, tears flood her eyes and she stumbles backwards in horror, wrapping her arms around herself. she can’t breathe, her soul quivers in agony and her every cell vibrates in terror. what if the man didn’t want to kill him? what if they took him?

and within the blink of an eye she’s back on the ship, so long ago, and she sees those boys that sat there with her, just as scared as she was. and inej’s legs fail her. she backs into a wall and slides down alongside it.

a sob passes her lips and she lifts her hands to her mouth. they tremble worse than they did that time kaz almost didn’t come home to her at the end of the day. she had just figured out she was pregnant. and she was thrilled, she had never been so happy in her whole life.

but then jesper had banged on the door, and when she’d opened, she’d felt it as if the whole world fell apart, came crashing down on her; as if all the earth’s mountains and hills crumbled, as if all waves in the sea washed over her, as if the sky turned into spears of air that all fell on her, split her skin, cut her heart, nailed her to the reality in front of her.

kaz.

kaz had been red.

his usually moonlight skin was no longer pale and light, it was crimson red. bright, glistening, red. and there was not one part of him that was not broken, that had not been twisted in the wrong angle, that didn’t look like it could never heal.

before her, in matthias’ arms, lay a man barely alive, a man who didn’t know yet that he was going to be a father, a man who might never get to hold his child. and inej had screamed, her legs had given way.

she wasn’t the one to fall, she wasn’t the one to listen to the sound of her heart breaking, she wasn’t a weak soul, and yet there she’d been, falling. jesper had caught her, and she’d sobbed into his jacket. not loud, no, almost no sound at all, just desperate petrified breaths and.

for a moment, she’d seen her whole life in front of her, and in every family picture, there would be a dark haired person missing. for a moment, she’d thought she’d lose him, and that she’d be a widow before they even could celebrate their first anniversary. for a moment, she thought she’d have to raise the small life in her belly without him.

thank the saints, she hadn’t had to. at least not until now.

again, she isn’t a weak soul. but she is not only the wraith, she is also the woman who fell to her knees when kaz almost left her that day. and that woman doesn’t know what to do, she is tired, tired from looking, from searching, tired from swimming and crying and worrying. and that woman can’t do this anymore. at least not alone.

she doesn’t know how long she’s been walking, saints, she barely knows where she’s walking. but her body seems to know the way, so she follows. and then she finds herself at their door.

and once again, just like that time, she falls into jesper’s arms.

“hey, hey”, he says, but inej can barely hear him over the roaring river of tears in her eyes. “inej, talk to me, what’s wrong? shouldn’t you be on your ship?”

she clings to him as if he was the only rock that kept her from sinking, from being dragged down in the deep of the sea. she shakes, gasps just like she did almost ten years ago. somewhere in her shattered mind she can sense jesper tensing - is he calling wylan’s name?

wylan? is he here?

where am i?

where is kaz?

“jordie”, she whimpers and her breathing quickens, she feels as if she can’t breathe, she doesn’t get any air.

jesper’s voice, somewhere, but where? does he speak her name?

waves. waves crash into her, she stumbles to the side, almost falls out of jesper’s embrace. what is this?

where am i?

jesper?

“kaz”, she wheezes. “kaz, kaz, kaz…” is that her voice? she doesn’t recognise it? does she sound like that?

grey eyes. jesper. his face blurs. is he talking?

i can’t breathe.

“where’s my son?” she wheezes. “my son, my son, my son…”

the world spins, the ceiling is the floor, she’s flying, she’s falling, she’s drowning, i can’t breathe.

where is kaz? where is jordie?

where is my son?

she sinks to her knees, she thinks, she can’t really tell what’s happening.

the crimson cobblestones flashes through her mind, back and forth, bounces between the walls of her skull; she sees kaz fall again and again, she sees him shelter jordie with his body again and again.

CRACK CRACK CRACK!

the shots rips through her soul, leaves only thrashed shreds behind. the knowledge that it was kaz’s blood radiates through her body like poison, kills every part of her; with her every panicked heartbeat she thinks about that she might never hear his again, might never get to hold him in her arms again.

tears rush down her cheeks and she stares in front of her, not seeing anything real, only kaz, bloodied and dead, jordie laying by his side.

inej. inej. inej. inej.

is someone saying her name? she frowns.

inej, listen to me.

“kaz?” she whimpers, whines, and fights the arms that hold her.

hes’s there, he walked out of the room, he disappeared right there, right there. “kaz!” she gasps, detangles her arm from the strong ones around her, stretches it out. he was there, he was, she saw him, she saw him…

“kaz!” this time she screams and struggles. “kaz!” her voice is raw, sore, raspy, almost like his. all the sanity she ever owned is gone.

she sobs loudly this time, begs for the arms that hold her to let her go, let her go after him, i need to save him, i need to save him, i need to save him. but all she can see is red hair and blue tear glittering eyes and dark skin and grey…

and a child. and inej completely falls apart. because it’s not her’s.

[notsolong-pause]

ship request

“Would I be able to get a male ship for stranger things and marvel? I’m female, a virgo and I have a few piercings and tattoos (full sleeves). I have long split color hair (black and neon yellow). I’m very confident. I love to joke around and make my friends laugh. I like to be around people who can make me laugh too. I’m very social around my friends but I’m pretty quiet around people I don’t know very well. I do fire eating as a hobby and I play the drums. I kind of low key like attention even when I act like I don’t. And I really love cheesy pick up lines especially if they’re funny. I also like to draw, go ice skating, go to concerts, watch horror movies, binge watch trash TV or just lay around listening to music. I have a pet parrot whom I love very much”

a/n: okay, first of all, you literally sound like this cartoon character we all aspired as children… fire eating  - that’s so sick! Also, I hope you enjoy this, and would agree with my choise, but I think you match perfectly.

If YOU want to submit a request, click here.

Stranger things:

I ship you with Steve Harrington

You like cheesy pick up lines? He delivers! First of all, he’s not the best at flirting, altough he acts all cool, and he was very popular... But let’s be honest, his main weapon are those pick up lines specifically. And you would come to Scoop Ahoy, where he would think you’re the coolest person INSTANTLY and be like “Know what's on the menu? Me-N-U”

Going to rescue or save someone, and understading eachother really well by making references to the horror movies. “Remember this movie we watched at your place?” “The one about the living puppet-serial killer” “Yeah! That one. We can do the same thing that the blonde girl did”.  “Absolutely!” And everyone else is like... whaaaaat

Driving to concerts to the other towns together. You would sing along to the songs in the car, and he would just sit with the heart eyes.

Him wanting to get a tattoo as well, because he loves yours tattoos sa badly. And you would tell him all about getting tattoos and treating them.

Him always bragging about you to everyone, because he genuinely believes that you’re the coolest person he knows. Telling Dustin all about how good you’re in music, how well you draw. And Dustin becoming your No1 fan after you perform fire eating once.

“Hey, loser!” You entered Scoop Ahoy, greeting Steve. “Hi, Robin!” The girl waved you and nudged Steve slightly. “Emm.. Ah, Hi!” He blinked and stopped staring at you so intensely. “You good, Harrington?” You asked smirking. “Peachy” He answered and tried to fix his hair immediately. “Alright, I’m gonna go change”. You eyed Steve suspiciously and headed to the back of the cafe to change into your sailor uniform. Honestly, it didn’t match you looks much, but the tattoos and the hair color definitely made it spicy.

“You’re drooling, Harrington”. Robin smirked at Steve. “That’s not true!” Steve protested. “Just ask her out already”. Robin groaned. “You’re getting annoying”. The boy turned back to the cashier and spoke again “I will. When you’re out of the cafe”. Robin thought for a second, and then tugged her hat down, and leaned on the same cashier. “Okay, I’m outta here! Ciao”. She slides under this cashier and headed towards the exit. “Wait, Robin! Where’re you going? Your shift isn’t over”. “Don’t care! Bye”

With that you appeared dressed in the blue shorts and a blouse. “Where did Robin go?” You questioned. “I wish I knew”. Steve sighed. “So...” He looked at you with hope. “What?” He looked almost as if you were supposed to know all the feelings and emotions behind the simple stupid “so”. He licked his lips at least 10 times in the past two minutes, and his eyes were going back pans forth to your face. At this point you were almost concerned about him. Steve always seemed so confident, that was the part of him that you admired. Now, in contrast, he was so nervous. “Are you sure that you are fine?” Steve gulped and inhaled sharply. “Positive. Look, I heard there was a new horrible movie in the theater, doyoumaybewannacomewithme?” You laughed. “Sure! Why not? Is it a date?” “Ah, erm, yeah, i guess... if you want, i mean i don’t...”

“Relax Harrington”, you said. “I would love to go out with you. Especially if the movie is as bad as you said it was”

Marvel:

I ship you with Peter Parker

He’s smitten by you and your confidence! And for some reason I can see the best friends to lovers dynamics. He would be all.. “Ahem... Look... I like you?”

Always arguing about who’s picking a movie for the movie night, and ending up watching what you wanted, because he can’t argue in the end.

He would help you to dye your hair, even though he wouldn’t know how. But you would tell him what to do, and he would be very nervous, but make it really pretty in the end.

Hanging out with him and Aunt May and slightly mocking him together with her. “Hey, Peter Tinkle!” “Saints! How did I earn this?”

You find out about him being Spider-man, when you go ice-skating together, and you trip, and he moves practically from another part of the lake (let’s imagine this is countryside) to catch you within a second. You’re very close. Awkward eye-to-eye contact. You smirk. “So that’s what you were hiding, huh?”

You were sitting on the fire escape of you apartment with Peter. It was almost night. One of those short and warm May nights in the city, when you can't even notice that it was here. It doesn't really get dark or quite - everyone is out, and the lights never turn off. Today you and Peter passed your last exam, and decided to celebrate, drinking coke on the fire escape while your parents were out of the city. "Do you think I would make a decent super hero?" You were swinging you legs, looking at the city.

"I bet you would be so much better of a super hero than I am", Peter sighed and chuckled lightly.

"Don't say that", you turned to him, "You're the best spider-man. Honestly, I think, you're my favorite hero", you layed your had on your hands.

"Like in the world?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, maybe second favorite after Black Widow", you laughed.

"Ouch! What's so special about black widow?" Peter leaned on the window behind him, taking a sip of his drink.

"First of all, she's badass. Then, she's a hero, even though she doesn't have any serums running through her veins. And finally, she's Russian, as far as I know. Isn't that epic?" You gestured actively, weighing up all the pros Natasha Romanoff. Peter smiled lighly at the sight of that.

"Okay", he said. "You win".

"That easily?" You eyed him suspiciously.

"Yeah, I like badass women, who can do some crazy dangerous stuff", he answered, tilting his head.

"Like what?"

"Like fire eating", he said simply, and you felt your face heat up a little.

"Are you hinting at certain someone?" You asked with a smirk.

He took a deep breath and sat up straightly. "I like you. A lot", he closed his eyes, apparantly, affraid of your reaction.

"Well, I guess, that makes you my favourite super hero after all".

I'm so sorry for the delay of doing your requests, guys. School has been crazy lately. I'm going to handle it all soon. Have a great day!

[carelessannie]

Because I have no patience, here’s the first chapter of my three part Reverse Little Mermaid Winteriron AU

while we're devoting full time to floating chapter one: floating in a blue lagoon

Rating: T (for now) Word Count: 3.5K Relationships: Tony x Bucky, background Natasha x Wanda Warnings: Prejudice against Merpeople, Steve’s kind of an ass, boat violence, magic use Read on AO3

Chapter One | Chapter Two

---

Spring-time has broken— making way, quickly, for a blazing summer. Celebratory music carries from the interior of the city, echoing from the palace in the center all the way out to the surrounding villages, drawing citizens closer— like moths to a joyful flame. Heading in the opposite direction, unseen by guards and villagers, two silhouettes slip toward the shoreline.

Up ahead is an expansive boathouse, accessible only by royal decree and permission from the crown. Bucky lifts up on his toes to check through the window for officers or other sailors— no one in sight. His key easily unlocks the door and he holds it open for Alpine to sprint through.

Bucky pads across the dock, heading for his humble fishing boat and checking for guards, whistling low between his fingers to call his Border Collie to his side. Alpine comes bounding over, shaking out her pure white coat, and pants, eyes wide with excitement.

“Quiet, Alpine,” he hisses, motioning to stay low, “almost there, girl.”

Towards the end of the dock, he can see his boat. Restored over years of hard work, The Widow sits proudly at the end of the line, beckoning him to sail away. He helps Alpine climb inside and makes haste to cast off, pushing away from the dock and dipping his oars into the gentle waves.

The sun is hot, but Bucky doesn’t mind it. His gaze is locked ahead and his focus is sure. The waters are quiet as he rows out into the open ocean, letting the current push him parallel to the coastline and away from the village.

It’s not like he’s running away— no. He just knows his brother would stop him if he knew, and it’s far too close to migration to wait another day.

After a while, he sees the cove— his favorite spot, sheltered under a familiar rocky cliff— and steers towards it. Once he’s close, Bucky tethers the boat to a nearby boulder. He helps Alpine out and climbs up the jagged rocks, settling over the water.

Here he adjusts his covering and removes a few flat stones, revealing provisions he stored long ago in a discreet iron box. Bucky lays on his belly, wiggling until he can peak over the edge.

Then he waits.

It doesn’t take long. With lenses pressed to his face, his enhanced view picks up movement below. Three large figures, cutting gracefully through the crystal clear water, swim into focus. Bucky holds his breath, taking only a moment to scrawl a few details onto his journal pages. Remarkable.

He watches the Merpeople hesitantly explore the cove underneath and talk animatedly between each other. Bucky only hears snippets of conversations as they surface, and it seems like a dark haired, red-tailed Mer is their leader. The other two— the first with bright red hair, and the second with darker skin— follow the red-tailed Mer around the shallow waters, inspecting rocks and plant life, talking distractedly about a settlement nearby.

“These waters are clear, no remnants left from past colonies.”

Bucky knows this already. He’s been observing Mer migration patterns for years, and none of them ever stay long enough to impact the nearby ecosystems. Still, he jots down a note about their self awareness.

“Still, the access to resources and deeper waters is desirable in this area.”

This Bucky knows as well. Outside of the cove and the surrounding reef, there’s a steep drop off down into unexplored waters. He’s tried to swim down a few times, but hasn’t yet found the floor.

Finally the red-tailed Mer speaks, he voice deep and alluring, causing Bucky’s head to snap up in surprise—

“I’m sure the King would be thrilled to hear of this discovery,” he drawls, and something in his tone convinces Bucky that this King would decidedly not be pleased. “Take a few samples, keep them close. I’ll study them in my lab when we get back and present them to the King myself.”

Bucky has to stop himself from chuckling. He understands exactly how this Mer feels about his King, and he’s instantly endeared. He can’t, for the life of him, tear his gaze from the red-tailed Mer. The man is striking, beautiful and full of life, and Bucky has never seen one like him before. His body is lean and toned like most Mers tend to be, but something about his posture screams authority and importance. He sighs, knowing the three of them will probably move on, migrate further south and into warmer waters.

He pulls away to take a drink from his water flask and sees a flash in the corner of his eye. Something approaching— fast and dangerous. The Mers below are oblivious, and the next thing he knows, they’re being circled and cornered by three, large Tiger sharks.

Bucky gets to his knees, gripping the rocks as he watches the sharks close in, forcing the Mers to press together a few meters in front of the cove.

The largest shark attacks. It’s a flurry of motion and violent waters as the other two follow suit, converging on the Mers from all sides. It seems as though each Mer fights a single shark, and they draw vicious, serrated weapons to slice through the water.

But the Tiger sharks are quick. The largest one whips, lightning fast, and catches the red-tailed Mer in the chest, sending him careening into the rocky wall. The other two Mers are chased away. They dodge and swim through the shallow waters and disappear out of sight to avoid the close pursuing sharks. Bucky glances down, watching in horror as the largest shark closes in on his prey below.

The red-tailed Mer isn’t moving, and the shark is swimming closer. Bucky scrambles, picking up his own hunting knife, and stripping off his shirt and boots before diving off the cliff.

His attack takes the shark by surprise, and Bucky plunges into the water, striking clean and slicing through the predator. Blood pours out of the open wound and Bucky has to surface, gulping in air as he watches the shark retreat.

He sheaths his weapon and turns, looking for the injured Mer. Bucky dives down and sees him drifting against the rocky wall, propped up and unconscious. When Bucky gets closer he finds blood, fresh and urgent, seeping out of the Mer’s wound— dead center on his chest.

Without hesitating, Bucky pulls the Mer up to the surface. He swims, slowly but effectively, back to the cove and rests against the rocky shore, letting the vibrant tail hydrate in the water.

“Hey,” Bucky looks into the man’s face, gently pushing back a thick strand of dark hair, “wake up, please. C’mon, I need you to wake up.”

The wound is still bleeding, slower than before, but persistently trickling down into the pool of water.

“Okay, okay… dammit,” Bucky curses, “stay here,” he instructs, mostly for his own sake, and sprints out of the cove, climbing the rock face to retrieve his shirt and a few supplies. Herbs and spices can usually make a good potion, even for inexperienced users— which Bucky definitely isn’t . He rubs a few together in his hands as he ducks back into the cove, kneeling next to the unmoved Mer. Gently, so gently, Bucky presses his fingers against his skin to rub the potion into the wound, wrapping it tenderly with strips of his own shirt after.

The Mer groans, hunching in to protect the wound instinctively.

“No, darling, let me heal it,” Bucky begs, laying the man down again while he works. He looks around. It would help if there was...

Aha! A golden ring dangles from the Mer’s neck, a perfect vessel for a healing spell. Bucky slips the ring on his own finger, taking a deep breath before performing the spell. It’s taxing. It hurts. But Bucky can see the ring glow and flex on his finger, accepting the enchantment and waiting for it’s impending assignment.

The ring is laid back on the Mer’s chest, still attached with the delicate chain, and Bucky is satisfied when he sees the wounds rapidly closing. He sighs in relief, holding the Mers hand and feeling the delicate pulse even out. He wishes he could see the man’s eyes, at least once. Damn the King and his stupid laws.

Movement, stirring from the Mer, and Bucky knows he must go. He can’t help but lean closer, studying the breathtaking features of this man’s face and pressing a lingering kiss onto his temple, before withdrawing and racing for his boat. He whistles for Alpine to join him, and takes off for the village. He’s been away far too long, and the King is bound to have noticed his absence.

---

“Do you know what you have done?”

The King, his brother, is fuming— full of violent rage that even Bucky shys away from. He had pulled Bucky off his boat the moment he returned, ordering the guards to seize him and The Widow for crimes against the crown.

“And to see the Merpeople again, I should have known. How could you, Buck? Openly disregarding my decree and putting all of our people in jeopardy— for what? Research?”

“He was dying!”

“Better him than another one of us.”

Bucky recoils, “You don’t mean that. The Mers have always been peaceful—“

“And that’s because they are ignorant of our existence— dammit Buck! What if he had seen you?”

“He didn’t.”

“And he won’t.”

“What does that mean?” Bucky asks, daring to look his brother in the eye. All he finds is cool indifference.

“It means that until further notice, I’m confiscating your traveling privileges. You will serve in my court and retire to your chambers, guarded as to not leave the grounds— is that clear?”

“Steve, what the hell—“

“You may keep the company of your dog,” the King, his brother and best friend, sets his jaw and points towards Bucky’s beloved boat, “but as a consequence for disgracing your King and country, my guard will take care of your transportation.”

“No!” Bucky cries, fighting the strong hold on his arms as two members of the royal guard unceremoniously drop a torch into his boat, setting it on fire. “Damn you, Steve!”

They let him struggle, thrashing and yelling to no avail, and the crowd watches as his most prized possession is burned to ashes. Bucky falls to his knees, speechless.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the King retreat, walking out of sight without even the courtesy of a dismissal. His vision blurs red.

Steve never listens.

The guards haul him up by the armpits, but Bucky barely even notices. He lets himself be dragged away and led back to his quarters, collapsing onto his bed with a sob as they lock the doors behind him. He feels Alpine crawl up next to him, and he holds her close, soaking her fur with heaving, furious tears.

When the sun goes down, Bucky packs a bag. It’s not an issue to find a way out of the palace— he’s been doing that for years. The issue is tracking down his contact, making sure she still lives across the bay, and convincing her to help him. Her allegiance is strong with the King, but he thinks he might have the upperhand to a few of her debts.

Bucky drops a quick kiss to Alpine’s head, tying a note around her collar. It won’t help to have her starving and the kingdom torn apart in his absence, so he quickly charms the letter to sooth and calm it’s readers. That should give him enough time to evade any search and rescue.

From there, it’s a simple shimmy out the window, a well-timed jump across a few balconies, light-footed paces through empty streets, and then, thankfully, a straightforward hike out of the city. The sun has long since set. Bucky pushes forward, ignoring the increasing chill as he climbs in elevation— his destination is just up ahead.

Before he crosses into her wards, Bucky comes to a stop. He searches the ground for… yes! A small ring of stones lies around her cottage, strengthening her security and vigil over her land, and Bucky kneels in front of them, gently laying his fingers on the ones nearby. It only takes a moment of letting his walls down, power flowing down his arms and into his hands, and he smiles to feel a warm thrum in response. The wards accept his familiar presence, and he stands to make his way to the cottage that lies behind the tree covering.

“You had better have a good excuse to be here, James.”

He hears her greeting before he spots her in the doorframe, curves silhouette tantalizing and a stark contrast from the light within the house. He smiles, picking up his pace and running forward, “Oh, Nat. Damn, if it isn’t good to see you.”

Natasha lets him swing her up into his arms, but gives a stinging flick to his ear.

“I’ve already heard of your transgressions, James. When will you just accept your brother’s rule, and learn that his word is law?”

Bucky sweeps into the cottage and leads the way to her personal rooms. It seems as though someone else has been living in this space— there’s another, strong, trace of magic intertwined with Natasha’s. He ignores her implications and raises an eyebrow, “Who are you hosting, Nat?”

The grin Natasha throws him is downright feral, and Bucky almost regrets asking. She brings her fingers up to her lips and whistles, brief and sharp.

“Her name is Wanda, she will join us momentarily,” Natasha pours him herbal tea, gesturing for them to sit in the living space. He allows himself to put his bag down, but he lets himself fidget a little bit— cataloging his urgency to his friend and trusting her to pick up his unspoken needs. “Tell me, pretty Prince— why are you seeking me out after such drama, at this time of night?”

He frowns at her moniker, but decides to give it to her straight, “Steve’s bias has gotten out of hand. I witnessed an exploration party of three Mers out by my cove, and there was a shark attack. The leader of their party was knocked unconscious, so I intervened to stop the shark from killing him. I had to swim him to safety, Nat, and I enchanted his ring with a healing spell. I left before he could wake up, and when I got back…” Bucky breathes, breaking his eye contact with Natasha, “well, it sounds like you’ve heard the rest.”

Her face falls in a genuine show of regret, “I’m really sorry, James, I know how much—”

“It’s fine,” he cuts her off, “I just need help convincing Steve that Mers are worth protecting. He just sees them as a threat, and he hates their ignorance about us. He doesn’t trust it. But they’re incredible, Nat, honestly. And this one I saw today… damn.”

Her eyes gleam, mischievous, “Oh? You have a crush on the Mer you saved and healed with your magic— how surprising.”

“Shut it, Nat,” he hisses, rolling his eyes as she cackles, “I’ve never seen a man so beautiful in my life. And, I don’t know, something about how he spoke, his voice and his humor—”

“James, I hate you.”

“— excuse me?”

“I now owe Clint a very large sum because of you.”

When Bucky fails to react, Natasha just sighs, “He bet you’d fall in love with a Mer. I just didn’t think you were that stupid.”

“Hey! I’m not in love—”

“Sure, Jay,” she laughs, turning to face the back stairwell as Bucky throws a pillow at her, “oh! Wanda! Please, come in and meet James.”

Standing at the bottom of the staircase is a petite girl, maybe a few years younger than Bucky himself, with auburn hair that rivals Natasha’s in brilliance. He can feel her power from here. A shiver runs down his spine.

She’s careful to walk into the room, as though any sudden movement may set off a catalyst of magic strong enough to rip the room apart. And he honestly doesn’t doubt that could happen.

“This is Wanda,” Natasha introduces them, and Bucky reaches to take her tiny hand in greeting. She looks one part terrified, and another part… angry? She still shakes his hand and mumbles a pleasantry. He knows that if Steve were here, she would probably be arrested for insolence to the crown or something comparable.

“It’s nice to meet you, Wanda. You can call me Bucky, everyone besides Natasha does.”

The look on her face says she will most likely not be calling him Bucky.

“Well, why don’t you spend the night here, James?” Natasha asks, standing to her feet and gliding into the kitchen, “we have a spare room, and can talk strategy in the morning.”

“I’d rather—”

“I insist,” Natasha cuts him off. She pours him a glass of water and pushes it into his hand, “I’m going to sleep. You know where the guest room is.”

“Isn’t…” he awkwardly motions towards Wanda, confused about the sleeping arrangements until he sees the flush in Wanda’s cheeks, the salacious grin on Natasha’s face.

“You don’t worry about us, our arrangements work just fine. Get some rest, James,” and with that, Natasha disappears up the staircase with a small kiss to the top of Wanda’s head. To his surprise, Wanda doesn’t move a muscle. She’s still staring at him, and it starts to get uncomfortable as they sit in silence.

Bucky clears his throat, “So, how did you—”

“I can help you with your problem.”

He does a double take, “— get… uh, what? Which problem?”

Wanda takes a seat across from him, but her posture is anything but relaxed. It’s her facial expression that makes him freeze— not just anger and fear, but knowing. Understanding. He curses himself because instead of scaring him, the knowledge in her eyes draws him closer.

She tilts her head to the side, slightly, “With your Merpeople. And with your brother. I’ve seen the conflict and I witnessed the shark attack. I know how your heart thrums in time with this red-tailed Merman, and how you long for it to beat in time with your brother, the King.”

“How do you—”

“You assume Natasha told me, but rest assured, my power and devices stretch far beyond her secret spies. I have a deal to offer you, and in return, you will earn the ear of the King and the heart of the sea.”

Bucky gives her a suspicious eye, but in reality, his heart is pounding. This girl, barely old enough to inherit land, is offering him the depths of his desires. But he knows mages, understands their loopholes and caveats.

“Tell me, Wanda— what is your scheme? What would be my payment?”

“Simple,” she answers, gaze going distant, “I’d first give you access to the King of the sea. Through the Mer you saved, his only son, you will forge a treaty between land and ocean. I will give you a way in, but in turn, you will have to enter the same spell all Mers are under: to forget and lose humanity. You will still remember names and faces and stories, but all will be in a cloak of ignorance. Like them, you will have no knowledge of the world above.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, “How am I supposed to forge a treaty between the two worlds if I can’t remember the one I’ve come from?”

“A royal alliance will break the spell. Marriage or covenant between the Prince of the land and Prince of the sea will not only break the cloak of ignorance on your mind, but also the ignorance of all who live in the Mer kingdom.”

His mind is racing. On one hand, he’s never easily put his trust in a strange mage, even one who seems to be… intimate with Natasha. On the other, he’s been looking for a way into the sea kingdom for years. Her spell could be the bridge that brings everything together.

“Oh, but there is one catch, James.”

“I knew it.”

“If you cannot get the Prince to fall in love and wed you, the enchantment on your memories will keep progressing. You will not only forget humanity, but you will completely forget yourself as well.”

“Does Natasha know you’re offering me this deal?”

“She knows we’re discussing it, yes.”

“How long would I have until my memories start to fade?” Bucky asks. He can’t believe he’s actually considering this.

Wanda seems to consider it, “No less than a month, no more than three.”

“So I’d give up my humanity, get this prince to fall in love with me, and break the spell over their kingdom. If I can’t do it, I’m lost to the sea forever— sound about right?”

Her mouth quirks up in a smile grin, “That’s about the gist of it.”

He thinks about Steve. About his life in the city— all the people who would miss him, and about Alpine and Natasha and even his royal guard. He thinks about the stunning, striking Mer from this afternoon. His ruby scales and cutting wit. Bucky desperately wants to see his eyes.

He looks down at his hands and sighs, straightening his back in determination.

From there, the decision isn’t hard.

[snailg0th]

TMA PLAYLIST!

hey party people! i made an absolutely MASSIVE entity playlists and thought i would share!

Here’s the song breakdown by entity if you want to separate it out into different entities!

The Corruption

- i’ll let it burn / kanaya

- first love late spring / mitski

- geyser / mitski

- me and my husband / mitski

- liquid smooth / mitski

- an unhealthy obsession / the blake robinson synthetic orchestra

- like real people do / hozier

- arms tonite / mother mother

- spiral of ants / lemon demon

- always forever / cults

- i wanna be adored / king woman

- in a week / hozier

- lovers are strangers / michelle gurevich

- first six moths of love / michelle gurevich

- where the watermelons rot / madelynne whitt

- loved / fein

- the masochism tango / tom lehrer

- high school sweethearts / melanie martinez

- earthworms / elliot lee

The Lonely

- ghosting / mother mother

- cellophane / fka twigs

- two slow dancers / mitski

- last words of a shooting star / mitski

- you missed my heart / phoebe bridgers

- writer in the dark / lorde

- liability / lorde

- sick of losing soulmates / dodie

- ribs / lorde

- i exist i exist i exist / flatsound

- how to never stop being sad / dandelion hands

- teenage hurt / oscar lang

- feels like we’re dying / johnny goth

- lonesome town / ricky nelson

- the ghost has no home / cocteau twins, harold budd

- heavy heart / you am i

- scott street / phoebe bridgers

- get lonely / the mountain goats

- i’m tired, you’re lonely / liza anne

- emptiness is a closet full of your clothes / wishing

- butterfly’s repose / zabawa

- xanny / billie eilish

The Slaughter

- thermodynamic lawyer esq / will wood and the tapeworms

- bloody nose / jack conte

- hand me my shovel, i’m going in! / will wood and the tapeworms

- problems / mother mother

- molly / mindless self indulgence

- resurrection / gank

- little pistol / mother mother

- my axe / icp

- to catch a predator / icp

- piggie pie / icp

- egirls are ruining my life / corpse

- i cant decide / scissor sisters

- brutus / the buttress

- thank you for the venom / my chemical romance

- you know what they do to guys like us in prison / my chemical romance

- teenagers / my chemical romance

- shitlist / l7

- lose your head / nova twins

- cop car / mitski

- pumped up kicks / foster the people

- mary / the happy fits

- 6 feet / scarlxrd

- war song / imad royal

- twist the knife / that handsome devil

The Spiral

- kitchen fork / jack conte

- stupid horse / 100 gecs

- a crows trial / vane lily

- hidden in the sand / tally hall

- stuff is way / they might be giants

- baby hotline / jack stauber

- for the departed / shatter james

- touch tone telephone / lemon demon

- they’re coming to take me away / sloppy jane

- anytime you smile / jt music

- tic toc / mother mother

- pretty little head / eliza rickman

- happy pills / weathers

- beware the friendly stranger / boards of canada

- dream / the pied pipers

- spiraling shape / they might be giants

- smile / maisie peters

- laughing on the outside / bernadette carroll

The Stranger

- stalkers tango / autoheart

- puppet loosely strung / the correspondents

- a mask of my own face / lemon demon

- sex with a ghost / teddy hyde

- bang! / ajr

- under my skin / jukebox the ghost

- turn the lights off / tally hall

- break my mind / dagames

- community gardens / the scary jokes

- mr capgras encounters a second hand / will wood and the tapeworms

- mama / my chemical romance

- have you seen my sister evelyn? / evelyn evelyn

- a campaign of shock and awe / evelyn evelyn

- my mom / kimya dawson

- who are you, really? / mikky echo

- kalinka / golden ring ensemble

- russian sailors dance / golden ring ensemble

- we’ll meet again / vera lynn

- carousel / melanie martinez

- this is the freakshow! / open minded

- the greatest show unearthed / creature feature

The Flesh

- blood and bones / the blake robinson synthetic orchestra

- the dismemberment song / blue kid

- i love you like an alcoholic / the taxpayers

- body / mother mother

- blood / my chemical romance

- body terror song / ajj

- skin / marriages

- four teeth / true widow

- tongues and teeth / the crane wives

- cannibal / tally hall

- pork soda / the glass animals

- alligator teeth / mother falcon

- animal skin / bryan dunn

- flowers of flesh and blood / nicole dollanganger

The Hunt

- it will come back / hozier

- in the woods somewhere / hozier

- hayloft / mother mother

- trrst / ic3peak

- oblivion / grimes

- i love you like an alcoholic / the taxpayers

- dear dictator / saint motel

- to my enemies / saint motel

- shaking like an animal / crash kings

- dog teeth / nicole dollanganger

- curses / the cranewives

- that unwanted animal / the amazing devil

- animal impulses / iamx

- go get your gun / the dear hunter

- i’m always walking as somebody else / american murder song

- come along / cosmo sheldrake

- the hunter / adam jensen

The Eye

- evil eye / franz ferdinand

- never meant to know / tally hall

- dirty imbecile / the happy fits

- lent / autoheart

- problems / mother mother

- southern eye / marriages

- wisdom / mother mother

- the fine print / the stupendium

- it’s tough to be a god / annapantsu

- ruler of everything / tally hall

- one eye open / lola blanc

- the competition / kimya dawson

- i see you / phoebe bridgers

- somebody’s watching me / rockwell

The Web

- silver platters / les gold

- puppet loosely strung / the correspondents

- the spiders face / emilie autumn

- twisted threads / the mechanisms

- spider in the roses / sonia leigh, daphne willis, rob the man

- lean on me / yerin baek

- shame / mitski

- devils flesh and bones / eliza rickman

The Dark

- there’s a girl in the corner / the twilight sad

- living with the black dog / emma ruth rundle

- i was all over her / sylvia palth

- welcome and goodbye / dream, ivory

- you are the coffin / flatsound

- into the unknown / the blasting company

- salem / fox academy

- i’m a member of the midnight crew / eddie morton

- sleep awake / mother mother

- no light, no light / florence and the machine

- oh ana / mother mother

- queen of darkness / ugress

The End

- for the departed / shayfer james

- achilles come down / gang of youths

- the end / sibyelle baier

- exit music / radiohead

- sex with a ghost / teddy hyde

- 13 angels standing guard round the side of your bed / silver my zion

- zombie / bad wolves

- old black train / the blasting company

- graveyard / lucy schwartz

- hangout at the gallows / father john misty

- holes in your coffin / phildel

- i’ll die anyways / girl in red

The Desolation

- turtleneck / the national

- relay / fiona apple

- a burning hill / mitski

- burn / king woman

- burning pile / mother mother

- lighting myself on fire / jukebox the ghost

- burn him down! / kitsch club

- mouth of the devil / mother mother

- high tide rising / fox

- the fire / griffinilla

- fire with fire / aliceband

- inferno pt 2 / the buttress

- all the good girls go to hell / billie eilish

- burning down the house / talking heads

- arsonists lullaby / hozier

- play with fire / sam tinnesz

- fire / delta rae

The Buried

- my heart is buried in venice / rick montgomery

- dirty night clowns / chris garneau

- hand me my shovel, i’m going in! / will wood and the tapeworms

- the mind electric / miracle musical

- bit by bit / mother mother

- weight of the world / shayfer james

- bury a friend / billie eilish

- my love took me down to the river to silence me / little green cars

- the devil went to georgia / the charlie daniels band

- jesse got trapped in a coal mine / goodnight, texas

- sisyphus / andrew bird

- bottom of the river / delta rae

- you’re dead / norma tanega

- ain’t no rest for the wicked / cage the elephant

- work song / hozier

- bury me / the hunting project

[jeongyunhoed]

8 Stories, 8 Movies from the Golden Age (1930s to 1960s).

It’s the golden age and 8 men are the most sought-after actors in Hollywood. Ateez, but make them Old Hollywood, basically. Lights, camera, action!

Member: Wooyoung

Genre: Screwball romantic comedy

Warnings: Mentions of death, shipwrecks, widow/widower, mentions of infidelity (don’t cheat, it’s wrong)

Things to note: Set in the 1940s, Wooyoung’s a father in this one

Will have OCs

As with the rest of the stories in the AU, there will be other idols mentioned, most likely NCT but may have some of my other faves (EXO, etc.)

A/N: The fourth story in this series of movie-inspired AU is centered on Wooyoung! It’s just as chaotic as he is, seriously. But I hope you enjoy it! 

Masterlist

After getting marooned on an island for 7 years and being declared legally dead, Ahn Jea returns home to find her husband, Jung Wooyoung, already remarried to someone else. 

My Favorite Wife

tag list: @minervaaaaaaaa , @closer-stars

Part 1

A bustling courtroom. Jung Wooyoung was standing by, eyeing the judge, a man by the name of Kim Hongjoong, who was reading through the brief but looking a little less than amused. He’s been here before, or at least been in a courtroom. That was his profession. He was an attorney that handled a wide range of cases, sometimes on the side of the prosecutor, other times on the side of the defendant. But the usual legal battle was not what he was in the courtroom for this time. He stood by, while his current fiance, Baek Taehee, was fixing her makeup nearby, compact in hand. 

“Court of general sessions, Judge Kim Hongjoong presiding is now in session,” The clerk announced nearby as soon as most of the crowd had gone, leaving only Wooyoung and Taehee and those who were in line for their own cases. “Are the parties ready in the matter of Ahn Jea, also known as Jung Jea?” 

“What’s the matter clerk? Let’s get on and get this over with,” Hongjoong was poised to hit the gavel in his hand. 

“Sorry, your honor. The matter of Ahn Jea also known as Jung Jea?” The clerk announced, his voice louder this time. 

“Oh, here, here I am,” Wooyoung raised his hand. 

“About time you’re here too,” Hongjoong said. “Just a moment. Clerk, wasn’t I supposed to marry someone this morning?” He looked over at the official. 

 “Why yes, your honor-” 

“Then let’s get it over with! We don’t have all day,” Hongjoong replied irritably. He looked down at the brief again. “This can wait, this is a very complicated case, this Jung matter, or was it Ahn, ” But before Wooyoung could speak, the clerk went up to him again. 

“Your honor, this man is Mr. Jung Wooyoung, his wife is dead,” The clerk whispered. 

“Who’s dead?” 

“Ahn Jea, also known as Jung Jea, she changed her last name for Mr. Jung over there when they got married,” The clerk explained, voice still low. “She drowned.”

“Oh that’s sad- that’s very sad,” Hongjoong turned back to the two people in front of him. “Is your name Jung Wooyoung?” He asked. 

“Yes, your honor,” Wooyoung replied. 

“That’s what I thought. Well, Mr. Jung, according to this brief, your deceased wife Ahn Jea also known as Jung Jea, was a member of an anthropological expedition that was shipwrecked off the coast of the pacific,” Hongjoong read out. 

“Yes, your honor.” 

“What was she doing on an expedition? She was a mother of two infant children.” 

“You will find the circumstances explained in my brief, sir,” Wooyoung replied. 

Hongjoong hummed in response. “It said, Ahn Jea, also known as Jung Jea, was engaged as a photographer for a period of three months,” he read. 

“We were going to take the trip together, but I got involved in a case so I couldn’t leave, so we talked it over and finally she decided that she would travel alone. She needed a change, she had a tough time with the children, teething and all that-” 

“Thank you, Mr. Jung, just the facts are needed, never mind the teething,” Hongjoong dismissed. He looked through the brief again. “When did you say the ship went down?” 

“It’s all explained there in page seven,” Wooyoung pointed out, making the judge flip through the papers. 

“Okay, here it is, last seen entering one of the lifeboats when-” Hongjoong leaned back as a flash of light hit his face. “What’s shining in my eyes?” He held a hand up to cover his face as the flash of light hit him again. “What’s shining in my eyes? I can’t see,” He looked down to read the brief again. “Last seen entering- When a wave, oh, that’s sad, that’s very sad,” He looked up when the light hit his face again. “Hey, you, over there, miss” Hongjoong called out to the woman seated near Wooyoung. 

“You mean me?” Taehee suddenly looked up. 

“Please put that mirror away, it’s been reflecting off of my face.” 

“Oh, so sorry,” She put her compact away. 

“What are you doing in this court anyway?” 

“I’m here with Mr. Jung,” Taehee replied. 

“Yes she’s here with me, your honor,” Wooyoung added. 

“Well, then, let’s get back to the brief, shall we? Now where was I? Page seven?” 

“Yes, your honor.” 

“Oh right, what efforts did you make to trace the whereabouts of your wife?” Hongjoong asked. 

“It’s there on page eight, your honor. I went to Bangkok and interviewed all the available survivors who all agreed that said Ahn Jea, also known as Jung Jea, had been swept overboard before aid could reach her- Deposition...” 

“No need to explain, there’s nothing to explain at all, the testimony’s all contained in here, sworn affidavits, no evidence to the contrary, the law is clear. I hereby pronounce Ahn Jea, also known as Jung Jea, legally dead,” Hongjoong hit the gavel. “Okay, now that’s done and over with, who am I marrying?” He looked over at the clerk. 

“Yes sir, us,” Wooyoung gestured to himself and to Taehee. 

“Us? What do you mean ‘us’?” Hongjoong turned back to him. 

“Mr. Jung and myself, your honor,” Taehee spoke this time. 

“You’re going to marry again, Mr. Jung?” The judge asked, and Wooyoung nodded, holding Taehee’s hand. “Are you sure you’ve had time to think it over?” 

“Your honor, Mr. Jung is over 20, he’s of legal age,” Taehee pointed out. 

“Alright, alright, if you say so, hold hands, both of you,” Hongjoong gestured for them to come closer. 

They smiled at each other. “Here we go, darling,” Wooyoung was beaming as the judge recited the proceedings. 

~ 

A truck pulled up in front of a house later that day. Ahn Jea couldn’t believe it. She was finally home after so long. All those years away, she was beginning to think that she would forget everything about it, including Wooyoung. “Is this where you wanted to go?” The driver looked over at her as she unfastened her seatbelt. 

“Yes, yes it is, thanks for the ride, Yunho,” Jea sniffled as she got down. 

“It’s okay, Mrs. Jung. What are you crying about?” He asked. 

“I-I just can’t believe it. You see, I live here, I live in this house” Jea wiped her eyes. 

“It’s not a bad-looking house, there’s a swimming pool and everything,” Yunho looked over from his seat to what he can see from the house behind her. “Is that something to cry about?” 

“No, no, but I haven’t seen it in years, I can’t help it, I’m finally back,” Jea wiped her eyes with the sleeve of the jacket she was wearing. 

“Uh, not that it’s any of my business, but when a girl like yourself is dressed up in a sailor’s uniform gets dropped off at a classy place like this-” 

“It’s an awfully long story for this, but I’ll tell you if we run into each other sometime,” Jea replied. 

“Okay then, goodbye,” Yunho waved at her as he drove away. 

Jea turned around. She was really back, back to civilization, back on asphalt roads, back to where houses actually looked like houses. More importantly, she was back home, back to her two children Woojin and Jiyoung, whose laughter and chatter she could hear from where she stood. She wondered what they looked like by now, hoping that Woojin would at least look like his father. 

“Watch me do a swan dive!” Woojin jumped in the pool, splashing some water on his sister. 

“Nuh uh, you can’t do it, you’re not supposed to run!” Jiyoung jumped in after him. 

Woojin shuddered. “It’s like an iceberg in here,” He said, getting out of the pool, his sister following him in getting up. 

“Hello,” Jea spoke, making the two children stop and look at her. 

“Hello,” Woojin greeted. 

“Hello,” Jiyoung greeted her as well. She tilted her head. “Are you a lady or a man?” She asked. 

It was another moment where she was reminded of how she looked in front of them now. “Well, I used to be a lady,” She replied, attempting to take off the hat she used to cover up her hair that was still quite long but oddly cut at the ends. 

“A sailor? You’re wearing sailor pants,” Woojin pointed out. 

“Ah, not exactly,” Jea shook her head. Woojin definitely did look like Wooyoung, she thought. He even got a little bit of his personality too. 

“Our mother was practically a sailor,” Woojin said. “She went down in a shipwreck. We’re not supposed to know.” 

“Oh, do you miss her very much?” Jea asked carefully. 

“Oh sure,” the boy nodded. 

“Would you like to have her back?” 

“We can’t have her back, she’s drowned. We put flowers on her grave every year with daddy,” He replied. 

“You do?” 

“And then daddy buys us ddeokbokki and cola,” Jiyoung added. 

“Oh,” Jea smiled a little, amused at the little girl. “Woojin, is your grandmother home?” 

The boy looked at her suspiciously. “...How did you know my name?” 

“Oh, uh, I just guessed,” Jea said. “Is she home?” 

“I forgot, we’re not allowed to talk to strangers,” Woojin jumped back in the pool. 

“Maybe you can tell me,” She turned to Jiyoung. 

“Pardon me, but we’re not allowed to talk to strangers,” Jiyoung followed her brother into the pool. 

Jea nodded, having understood. It seemed too good to be true if they knew her right away. Then again, Wooyoung probably never showed them her pictures. She turned to go to the front door, in the hopes that someone, at least her mother-in-law, their grandmother, would be home. She rang the doorbell and knocked on the door for good measure. “Come in!” She heard the familiar voice of her mother-in-law say. 

Jea opened the door. “Hello, mother,” She said. 

Mrs. Jung looked like she had seen a ghost. “Jea! Oh my goodness, Jea,” She stepped back, her knees buckling when Jea helped her. 

“Easy, mother, easy,” She said, leading Mrs. Jung into the living room. “Sit down, mom, sit down. Take a deep breath, mom, there, are you alright now?” She asked carefully. 

Mrs. Jung still looked shocked, unsure of what to say. “Jea, I can’t believe it, I really can’t believe it,” She stared at Jea, almost gaping. Jea just smiled. “After all these years, oh is it really you, Jea?” 

“Of course it is, mom,” Jea chuckled. “How’s Wooyoung?” 

“Wooyoung?” Mrs. Jung asked, as if having snapped out of it. 

“Yes, mom. Wooyoung, your son. My husband,” Jea replied. “He’s alright, isn’t he?” 

“Oh yes, yes, Wooyoung’s fine,” Mrs. Jung nodded. 

“Good, I’m glad he’s doing okay.” 

“Jea, where have you been?” 

“Ah, on an island. Latitude 12, longitude 128,” Jea recalled. “And I’d still be there if it weren’t for a Portuguese freighter wandering 200 miles off its course. They brought me back. It was a very small freighter though, very dirty. Mother, may I have a bath?” 

“Of course, Jea,” Mrs. Jung got up, leading the way into what was the guest room. 

Jea felt like she was looking at everything for the first time all over again as she stepped in, seeing photos of Wooyoung with the children over the years in frames on the walls down the hall. “Ah, my first hot bath in years,” She said as she removed her cap, the water from the shower hitting her right away. Mrs. Jung stood by, setting down a bathrobe and a few towels. “By the way, mom, how was my funeral?” 

“It was lovely, Dr. Choi Jongho had this wonderful message,” Mrs. Jung replied. 

“Ah, I wish I’d been there,” Jea chuckled. “Tell me about Wooyoung. He’s still as handsome as ever, isn’t he?” She asked. 

“Wooyoung? I think so.” 

“Doing well at work?” 

“Oh yes.” 

“Where is he now? Is he still at the office? I’m dying to see him,” Jea asked this time, rinsing the shampoo out of her hair. 

“Jea, there’s something I’ve got to tell you,” Mrs. Jung immediately handed her the robe and the towels when she turned the shower tap off. Jea covered herself with the robe, feeling her shoulders relax when the soft fabric was around her. “Wooyoung’s married again.” 

Jea stopped, staring at her mother-in-law. “...He is?..Is she nice?”  

“No.” 

“Do I know her? Kim Ara, I bet, she’s always had her eye on Wooyoung-”

“No, he met her on the boat when he went to look for you,” Mrs. Jung replied. 

“On the boat, huh,” Jea looked down, feeling the embarrassment seep in. “One thing I somehow never thought about, Wooyoung marrying again. How long did he wait?” 

“They only got married this morning.” 

“Today?” Jea gaped. 

“And they went off on a road trip to Grant for the honeymoon-” 

“Grant?! Oh don’t tell me he’s taking her to the same hotel we- Oh no…” 

“Well, Wooyoung had some business to do- What are you going to do?” Mrs. Jung asked. 

“Well I’ve got some business in Grant. Have you got anything I can wear, mom?” 

“I saved a few of your old things, Jea,” Mrs. Jung replied. 

“There are planes to Grant now, isn’t there?” Jea removed the towel off her head, following her mother-in-law to the room where they kept her clothes. 

“Yes, I think so- what are you going to do, Jea?” Mrs. Jung was getting concerned. 

“I don’t know, but I hope I’m not too late. I plan on being part of the reception committee. I’ll get to Grant first!” Jea rushed into another room to get dressed. 

~ 

Jea had arrived at the mountainside hotel, the Dunne, a little while later. The hotel still looked the same as she last saw it. It definitely brought back memories of her honeymoon with Wooyoung, and now he was going to make new memories with his new wife here. She approached the man on the front desk, whose name tag read Choi San. “Yes, how may I help you?” He asked. 

“Hello, is Mr. Jung Wooyoung here?” She asked. 

“No, Mr. Jung hasn’t arrived yet,” San shook his head. 

“Oh,” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, thank you very much.” 

“Are you the bride by any chance?” San smiled. 

“No, not exactly,” Jea replied. “I’ll just wait for him if you don’t mind, thank you very much,” She stepped back, noticing his confused expression. 

“You’re very welcome, madam,” San observed her as she sat on the nearest couch, next to a few elderly women who were reading the magazines on the coffee table in front of them. “That’s very strange,” He muttered to himself. 

“We’re here, Taehee,” Wooyoung smiled as they entered the hotel, pulling Taehee along by the hand as they approached the desk, bellhops already behind them with their luggage. “Good evening,” He greeted the front desk. “My name is Jung Wooyoung.” 

“Oh yes, Mr. Jung, I believe that a young lady-” 

“Do you have a reservation for me please?” Wooyoung cut him off. 

San looked through the books in front of him. “Yes sir, you do. Suite A, Mr. Jung,” He said with a smile. 

“Oh,” His expression fell. “Suite A.”��

“It’s our best suite.” 

“Well, I-I’d rather not take one, if you don’t mind,” Wooyoung said. “I couldn’t take that suite because- well, you see, I’ve been here before.” 

“Oh-oh very well, sir,” San quickly composed himself, glancing at Jea who was seated all the way at the couches and looking just as surprised as he was. “Take them to suite C,” He directed the bellhops behind them. 

“Let’s go, shall we?” Wooyoung turned to his new bride, their arms linked as they went into the elevator. As he turned to face the doors, his eyes widened at what he saw approaching the elevator. Jea was there, waving at him. The doors were moving and he found himself bending over to the side as if trying to catch another look at her before it closed. “Oh no, no, no…” 

“Wooyoungie, what is it?” Taehee asked. 

“Oh, uh, imagination, I-I thought I saw something, nothing to worry about, it must be the trip,” He shook his head as the elevator began to move. 

~ 

“Wooyoung, I just love our room, isn’t it so nice?” Taehee was twirling in her place as the bellhops set their luggage down, while he quickly put his clothes away. “Look at the view!”

Was it her? Was it really Jea? His wife? The woman he saw as the love of his life? Was she really back? The questions stayed in his mind as he put his suitcase away. “Yeah, yeah, it’s beautiful,” He nodded, casting a glance out the window. 

“Wooyoung, darling, aren’t you going to kiss me?” Taehee went up to him. 

“Hmm? Oh, sure, sure,” Wooyoung pecked her lips. “But uh, Taehee, I have to go downstairs again.” 

“Oh what on earth for?” 

“Well I-I-I’ve got to make sure that uh well- I’ll be right back,” He stammered. “I was expecting a call.” 

“But they’ll ring up here,” Taehee gestured to the phone nearby. “Is something the matter, Wooyoungie?” 

“Uh,” He needed to think of another excuse, fast. “No, no, nothing’s wrong, Taehee, it’s just uh- You know what I need? I need to get a shave!” He blurted out. 

“...What?” Taehee stared at him. 

“I’ll go down to the barber shop and I’ll be right back,” Wooyoung turned to leave, skidding to a stop when Taehee was still holding onto his hand. 

“But you don’t need a shave, your skin is smooth, practically hairless, Wooyoungie,” She said. 

“Well, I feel like an ape.” 

“Wooyoung, why don’t you shave yourself? I’d love to watch you do it, you remember the way Victoria always watched Albert?” She pulled him close. 

“Victoria? Albert?” 

“Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, silly,” Taehee smiled, running a finger along his jaw. 

“Oh, well, he-” Wooyoung took her hand. “Prince Albert didn’t hack himself to pieces the way I do when I shave- I’ll go down to the barber shop and I’ll be right back! I won’t be long!” He rushed out of the suite. He wanted to know if he wasn’t seeing things, if it was really Jea standing in front of the elevator when he saw her. Wooyoung got out of the elevator to the ground floor, looking around frantically for a sign of her until he saw her sitting on the chair. “Jea! Jea!” He called out, making her look up. 

“Hello, Wooyoung,” Jea smiled, standing up. 

“Jea, it is you, isn’t it?” Wooyoung ran up to her. 

“Yes, yes it’s me, Wooyoung,” She said.

“Jea,” His arms were around her in a tight embrace. “Jea, kiss me,” He tilted his head, meeting her lips with his. 

Jea closed her eyes again, content. “That’s all I wanted to know, Wooyoung,” She said quietly as they pulled away.  

As much as Wooyoung wanted to keep looking at her, he was aware where they were having this moment. “Look, let’s- let’s go somewhere private, where we can talk.” 

“Where?” She asked, a little too eagerly. 

“W-well, let’s go to your room.” 

“But I don’t have a room.” 

“In that case I’ll get you one, clerk!” Wooyoung ran up to the front desk again, getting San’s attention. 

“Yes, Mr. Jung?-” 

“I’d like to have another room.” 

“Another room-” 

“Yes I just said another room.” 

“Oh, certainly, Mr. Jung,” San couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“Thank you, is-is Suite A available?” Wooyoung rushed him. 

“Suite A?” San looked even more surprised. 

“Yes, suite a,” Jea added. 

“Suite A! Take them to suite A!” San gestured for the bellhop nearby, handing him the keys.

~ 

The suite looked the same way as Jea and Wooyoung remembered it to be, Wooyoung resisting the urge to kiss Jea again, the self-control only showing just when they were finally alone. Jea recalled where she had been, and how she was able to get back while he tried to absorb everything that was happening to him today, explaining to her what he did that morning. “That’s all there is to tell you, Wooyoung. Except now, it’s an awkward situation of course but you’ll have to face it,” She said. 

“Yes, you mean-” Wooyoung buried his face in his hands. “You mean, telling Taehee? Yeah, I know, I’ve got to. What am I going to say to her?”

“That depends on what you feel, Wooyoungie,” Jea replied with a shrug.  

“It’s not as easy as all that,” He said. “You see, uh, Taehee’s- Very sensitive, she’s uh, high-strung.” 

“Ah, one of those,” Jea nodded in understanding. 

“Mhmm, this is going to be a horrible shock to her.” 

“Wooyoung, are you in love with her?” Jea thought to be direct this time. 

“No,” He admitted. Jea wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or not. 

“You must’ve told her you were, didn’t you?” 

“Well I-I- uh-” He stammered. 

“Sure you did,” She teased, making him nod again. “Wooyoung how could you, the minute my back was turned-” 

“The minute?!” 

Jea laughed, patting his shoulder. “Wooyoung, look at you, if you could see your face,” She laughed some more, making him laugh as well. 

“Don’t joke now, darling, this is too serious-” They stopped when the phone rang. “I’ll get it, it’s probably for me,” He picked up the phone. “Hello?” 

“Mr. Jung, this is Choi San, the desk clerk,” He began. “Mr. Jung, we don’t like to interfere with the privacy of our guests...but your wife is calling for you again,” San sounded annoyed. 

“Well tell my wife I’ll be right up, I’m still being shaved!” Wooyoung replied, hanging up. He turned back to Jea, who was still laughing next to him. “I’ve got a feeling you’re enjoying my misery,” He said. He couldn’t get mad, but the absurdity of their situation only got him chuckling. 

“Wooyoung, did you think she’d make a good mother?” Jea asked. “Was that why you were attracted to her?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” He sat back. 

“You thought she’d be good for Woojin and Jiyoung?” She raised a brow, sensing the uncertainty in his tone. 

“Of course, of course!” 

“Oh,” She nodded, sitting back as well. 

“You don’t believe me?” 

“I didn’t say I don’t believe you. I’m just facing facts,” Jea said. “You love this woman enough to ask her to be your wife and the mother of my children. That takes a lot of love. Are you-are you sure you don’t love her?” 

He sensed the uncertainty in her tone this time. “Yeah, the moment I saw you downstairs I knew I was still in love with you and I wasn’t in love with her.” 

“I bet you say that to all your wives,” Jea teased him again. 

“I could strangle you,” Wooyoung reached for her hand, a chortle escaping his lips. 

“Well that’s a way out,” Jea squeezed his hand. 

“I can’t just barge in and say ‘Sorry, my mistake, the marriage is off’ can I? What am I? An idiot?” Wooyoung sighed. 

Jea stood up. “Look, let’s try something like this. I’ll be uh, what’s her name again?” 

“Taehee.” 

“Taehee,” She repeated with a slight pout as she said it. “Alright, I’m Taehee. Now, you pretend to come in, this is our suite.” 

Wooyoung stood up. “What?” 

“Go with it, I’m Taehee, and you’re coming in to tell me,” She reminded him, sauntering down the front hall. 

“Alright, I’m in-” Wooyoung fought the urge to laugh at the way she pretended. “He-hello Taehee.” 

“Oh that’s good, that’s good,” Jea laughed. “Now she’ll say ‘Hello darling, I’m terribly sorry, it’s been such a long time,’” She said it with a pout, pretending to sound cute. 

“She doesn’t talk like that-” Wooyoung shook his head. 

“Oh, well, what’s the difference? Then she’ll say ‘Darling, aren’t you going to kiss me?’” She went up to him, lips still in a pout as she said it. Jea’s expression softened. “Well...aren’t you?” 

Wooyoung took her in his arms. “Jea.” 

“Wooyoung,” and she kissed him, her arms around him. 

The door suddenly opened, making them pull away. It was San. “Could I see you for a moment, Mr. Jung?” Annoyance was evident on his face. 

“What do you mean by barging in here?!” Wooyoung was close to yelling. 

“Mr. Jung, I’m the clerk of this hotel-” 

“Yeah I know who you are-” 

“Mr. Jung, I feel that it is my duty to inform you that we run a first-class place and we don’t like to be a party to an intrigue, we’ve maintained a respectable reputation for decades and we don’t intend to lose it in one night!” 

“My respectable reputation is just as high as your hotel’s.” 

“And don’t forget mine!” Jea chimed in. “It’s a very simple situation. Explain it to him, Wooyoung.” 

“Alright I will,” Wooyoung took a deep breath. “Now I came-I came up here with my wife, my bride, really and- Now my wife, not my bride- Why should I bore you with all the details?”

“I won’t be bored!” 

“Listen, it’s as simple as a-b-c!” Wooyoung said. 

San looked apprehensive. “Don’t tell me you’ve got somebody in B!” 

Wooyoung sighed, lips forming a line in frustration at the clerk. “Wooyoungie, I think you’d better go,” She said. 

“If you please” San glared at him. 

“I’ll be back, Jea-” 

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Jung,” San cut him off as he stepped aside to see him out. 

“Bye, Wooyoung, and don’t forget! You’re going to tell her” Jea called out. 

“Sure, sure, I’ll-I’ll uh, I’ll tell her,” Wooyoung looked over at her again before San followed him. 

“This way, Mr. Jung!-” 

“Oh shut up, will you!” Wooyoung snapped, trudging down the hall. 

[honeypiehotchner]

Lost in a Crowd -- part thirty-three

Because I know it would be cruel of me to make y’all wait until tomorrow for this, here’s the next part. Warnings for some...general not good things being said. Bucky is an asshole. A huge one. Anywho, enjoy!

The door to Bucky’s room is wide open when I reach it. He’s standing in the room, facing the window, hands in his pockets.

I knock on the doorframe out of anxiety and as a courtesy to let him know I’m coming in, even though I’m sure he heard me walking down the hall. He barely turns his head to the side when I knock.

“Hey,” I call out, walking in and shutting the door.

“Hey,” he replies, barely audible.

“I need to tell you something,” I say, taking a deep breath. MJ, Peter, and I agreed the best plan of action is to tell him the truth right away. The full truth. (Oh, Peter wasn’t the least bit surprised when he found out.)

Here goes nothing. “I’m—”

But Bucky beats me to it. “Do you run the anonymous advice account on Twitter?”

I blink slowly. “How did you know?”

“I figured it out.”

I can’t gather a damn thing from his tone, especially when he’s got his back facing me. He doesn’t sound happy at all about figuring it out, though, that’s for sure.

“How long have you known?” I ask.

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugs his shoulders.

“Bucky,” I whisper. “Please look at me.”

Slowly, he does. And immediately, I wish I didn’t ask him to.

His eyes are stormy. But this is a storm that even I can’t help him escape. This is the kind of storm that drowns sailors out at sea. The kind that breaks hearts and makes widows out of innocent women. The kind that you can’t control or stop. The kind that shows no mercy.

“Bucky, I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t.”

For a moment, I almost think it’s my Bucky. That he’s going to tell me I have nothing to be sorry for because I have such a bad habit of apologizing for existing. But he doesn’t.

“You lied to me,” he mutters, voice even and lethal. “You knew when I was asking for advice that it was about you and you never bothered to tell me. Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I didn’t know how to say it—”

“Please. Don’t.”

“Fine,” I whisper, done with being interrupted. “My turn. You lied to me this morning.”

He stills.

“I didn’t want to be alone and you probably knew that and what did you do? You lied to me. I had to find out from Tony,” I gesture randomly, knowing he’s somewhere in the Tower, “that there are no fucking missions right now. That you just didn’t want to see me so badly that you made up some stupid lie.” Saying it all out loud to him hurts more than I expected it to. The burning in my lungs refuses to cease.

“Yeah? Well I had to find out from your mother that you ran that account!”

My eyes widen. “You were eavesdropping on us?”

“I was listening. Yes.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I yell, anger taking the reins. “I told you that conversation was to be private! I told you to give us a moment alone!”

“After the things I heard her say to you? You really thought I was gonna let you be alone with her?”

“I can handle whatever comes out of her mouth, Bucky.” I cross my arms over my chest. “I have all my life. If you didn’t want me to be alone with her, you should’ve just told me.”

“Like how you should’ve told me you run the advice account?”

“Yes,” I nod. If he thinks he can guilt me into saying I was right not to tell him so he can have something else to yell at me for, he’s mistaken. “Exactly like that. I should’ve told you, and I didn’t. And I’m sorry that I didn’t. I didn’t know how to bring it up and although I don’t agree with you eavesdropping, I’m sorry you had to find out that way. It wasn’t how I wanted you to find out about it.”

“How did you want me to find out, then?”

“I wanted to fucking tell you, Bucky. Myself. To your face. That’s what I was going to do today. Because when I got your message about us needing to talk, I thought— I knew it was time. I was going to confess, but you beat me to it.”

“So it’s my fault now?”

“No, goddamn— The world doesn’t fucking revolve around you, Bucky!” As soon as I say the words, I regret it. His jaw clenches and his fists do, too. I know he’d never hurt me, but damn if I’m not backing away from him.

“You know what?” Bucky says lowly. “It doesn’t matter.”

Another moment of hope. Is this where we both apologize for yelling and talk this through like adults?

“I was a puppet for HYDRA for long enough. I won’t be one again. I can’t do this,” Bucky says, shattering my heart and my hope and leaving it all a bloody mess at my feet.

I want to say, “Did you seriously just fucking compare me to the Nazi regime that kidnapped and brainwashed you?” But that’s too big of an issue to get into right now when he’s obviously made up his mind, so I stay quiet. I wait for him to finish.

“I need a break, Lily,” he finally says, and his use of my name instead of ‘doll’ stings much more than it should. “From this. From us.”

I should’ve seen this coming. It’s textbook, isn’t it? The beginning is the “We need to talk” text message. The middle is the argument we just had. And the bitter end is this moment. This exact moment.

“You need a break, or you want to break up?” I ask quietly. Too many times I agreed to ‘it’s just a break’ with Tyler. I can’t do that to myself again. And I won’t. “I don’t do breaks, Bucky. You either want this or you don’t.”

Bucky’s face crumples at my statement. “I don’t know.”

“Well,” I say. “I’m not going to stick around and go on ‘breaks’ while you figure yourself out. So, since you don’t know, I think that gives us our answer.”

Bucky nods. He doesn’t try fighting or denying it. “I guess it does.”

That’s it?

I feel the beginnings of tears pricking my eyes, the overwhelming weight of it all finally registering within my mind. I’ve got two minutes tops before the waves start crashing.

“Okay then,” I murmur, trying to keep everything under control while I’m still facing him. “That’s that, then.”

I turn on my heel and yank his door open. Something deep inside of me wishes for this to be different — to be like the movies. I walk slowly down the hallway, waiting for that moment where he flies out of his room, calling my name. I wait for him to pull me into his arms and kiss me and tell me he’s sorry and that he wants to talk. I wait for him to take me back into his room, sit me down on the couch, and start it all over again, right from scratch. I wait for his forgiveness and for the storm to disappear from his eyes and his heart.

I press the elevator button and I wait.

I wait and I wait and I wait.

The elevator doors close. And I drown in the storm.

Yikes Peter kind of went off. I can’t tell if that’s wildly ooc for him, but honestly he thinks of Lily as a sister, so I think it makes sense for his protective little brother instincts to take over and drag Bucky’s ass through the dirt 😂😭

[xxshewritesinblacknwhitexx]

Steve Rogers Imagine Part Six

Imagine while on a mission to rescue civilian hostages on the Lumerian Star, you and Natasha discuss your relationship status with Steve.

PAIRING:  Steve Rogers x Black!Reader

WORD COUNT: 229

SET:  The Winter Soldier

WARNINGS:  talks of sex, Avengers violence, angry!Steve, explosions

BETA:  @titty-teetee​

⭃ Part Five

“So, what exactly is going on between you and Captain Rogers?”  Natasha Romanoff, AKA the Black Widow, who was also a fellow SHIELD agent, Avenger, and close personal friend, questioned.

The two of you had snuck your way onto the lower deck of the Lumerian Star to rescue the group of civilians being held hostage, by notorious pirate, George Batroc. “What are you talking about?”  You feigned innocence, trying not to talk of personal matters while on the job.  Especially when it came to your relationship with Steve.

That was kind of a touchy subject.

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched your friend roll her eyes, but you easily ignored her, immediately spotting one of George Batroc’s men just ahead of you.  

He hadn’t seen the two of you yet, as his back was turned toward you, you quickly signaled to Natasha that you were to handle him and to meet you at the bottom of the engine room.  She nodded, and you took your cue. Quietly, you snuck up behind the guy, while he was on the phone speaking in his native French tongue.  You tapped him lightly on the shoulder, causing him to jump and turned to you, as you plastered a smirk across your face. “Hey, sailor.”  You waved your little fingers, before balling them into a fist, and knocking him in the face.  Hard. He fought back, diligently, getting in quite a few hits as well, but you definitely had the upper hand.  You then quickly wrapped your cord around his neck and jumped over the ledge, using him to bungee down.

Pulling your guns from their holsters, you took out more of Batroc’s men, on your way down.  When you finally touched the bottom, you shot two more beneath you. “Fury, Romanoff, what’s your status?”

You ignored Steve’s question in your earpiece, focusing on your task, as you made your way over to Natasha, who was taking on her handful of pirates.

“Y/N, you don’t have to play coy with me.”  She ran up on a guy, jumping around his neck, and using the gloves on her fist to shock him.  “I mean, two years ago, after New York, you two ride off into the sunset like some kind of fairy tale.” You sighed heavily, at your friend not missing a beat, before leg sweeping an attacker.  “It was Brooklyn, Nat.  Hardly a fairy tale.”  This time you landed a roundhouse kick to another pirate’s head, knocking him out. In all honesty, you had no idea what you and Steve were.  After New York, you two had definitely grown closer, and you spent a lot of time with him.  But with the work that SHIELD was dishing, and the fact you believed Steve was holding onto something from his past, you didn’t know exactly where you stood with the Super Soldier. “Uh huh.”  Natasha said, not believing you, while connecting a right hook to the jaw of a pirate, sending him to the ground. “Stop it.”  You playfully reprimanded, backing flipping and landing a leather boot to the chin for the last one, landing him on his ass. “Y/N, Natasha, status.”  Steve’s voice repeated, seeming a bit irritated. You hadn’t realized that one of the guys you had knocked to the ground had begun to stir.  Nat tapped you on the shoulder, tossing a lead pipe your way, and you caught it with ease. “Engine room is secure.”  You spoke into the mic connected to your wrist, swinging the pipe and clocking the guy’s lights out once more. “So, have you and Steve…” Nat trailed her question, wiggling her brows in a suggestive manner, as the two of you made your way through the engine room. You giggled softly, shaking your head at your nosy friend.  “No, Nat.  Steve’s a gentleman.  Nothing like the horndogs you date.” She then turned her body to face you fully, now walking backwards, a smirk on her face.  “So, you two are dating?”  She challenged. You shrugged nonchalantly.  “Casually.  It’s nothing serious.  And I really don’t think it’s ever going to be.” You and Natasha come upon a room, walking in.  It looked as if it were the mainframe of the ship.  Your real reason for coming on this mission. “Why do you say that?”  Nat questioned, as she stood guard by the door, watching you make your way to the main computer. “He’s clearly still hung up on someone else.”  You sighed, starting your hacking into the system. “Hmpf,” she scoffed, “aren’t they all?”  She folded her arms across her chest, looking out the door, making sure the coast was still clear. “Which is so frustrating.”  You seethed, clicking away at the keys, placing in the right algorithm that you knew by heart.  “Because I really like him.  He’s unlike any other guy I have ever dated.” “That’s because he’s old as dirt.”  She joked. You couldn’t help but let out a tiny snicker.  “Nat, stop that.” “So,” she clicked her tongue after a few seconds of silence, “does that bother you?  Him being 62 years older than you?” You still typed adamantly on the computer, frustrated that this was taking a lot longer than it should have.  “I think about it sometimes, but then I see him.  He obviously doesn’t look like your average 95 year old.” “And you mean to tell me in two years, you hadn’t tapped that yet?”  She teased. You playfully rolled your eyes, looking up at your red haired partner, and mouthed a ‘no’, while shaking your head. “Maybe he’s gay.”  She commented, causing you to giggle.  “Not that there would be anything wrong with that.” “He is definitely not gay.”  You defended. “And how do you figure that?” “Okay,” you peered up at her again, “so whatever I’m about to tell you, stays between you and me.  If I find out anybody else heard this, and it gets back to Steve, I'll murder you in your sleep and make it look like an accident.” Natasha zipped the invisible zipper on her lips, pretending to lock and throw away the key, before raising her hands in surrender.  She was now even more intrigued. You sighed heavily, not really wanting to divulge in your very intimate endeavors with Captain America, but you knew that Nat would just keep bugging you, until you spilled the tea.  She was like a dog in heat when it came to juicy gossip, so you thought to just throw her a bone, to get her to shut up. “So, maybe a little more happened in Brooklyn and more recently than I actually led on.”  You released a nervous breath, already feeling like you’re going to regret what you’re about to say next.  “Steve and I haven’t actually officially done the deed, as of yet, but let’s just say that I know for one hundred percent fact that the super soldier serum worked everywhere.  And I mean...everywhere.” Nat raised an inquisitive brow. “Really?” You nodded, biting your lip at the memories of the time you were with Steve in Brooklyn and the times after.  For a guy with not much experience, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Your memories were immediately cut short when Steve’s voice came through the earpiece again.  “Fury, Romanoff, where the hell are you?” Nat asked if you were good.  You told her you had it covered and you were almost done. She nodded, speaking into her wrist.  “This is Romanoff, I’m headed your way, Cap.” After she retreated from the room and shut the door, you reached down into your boot and pulled out a flash drive.  You plugged it into the hard drive of the computer, and began to copy the files you downloaded, when a crash caught your attention. Steve and Batroc had busted through the closed door, obviously in the midst of an intense fight.  Steve had Batroc pinned to the ground, using his shield to knock him out cold. “Well, this is awkward.”  You commented, still saving files to the flash drive. Steve, sans the cowl, strapped his shield back in place, as he made his way over to you.  “What the hell are you doing?”  He turned to look at the computer and quickly realized what was going on.  “You’re saving SHIELD intel.” “I’m doing what I was assigned to do.”  You retorted, not missing the displeasure in his voice. He then turned back to you, blue eyes looking down on you with anger.  “The mission was to rescue the hostages.” You looked up at him and swallowed hard at the intense irritation in his eyes.  You quickly turn your head back to the screen, files near to completion.  “That was your mission, Cap.  Not mine.” Upon completion, you pulled the flash drive from the CPU and shoved it back in your boot.  You then tried to walk away, but Steve grabbed your arm and pulled you toward him. “You just jeopardized this whole operation.”  He seethed. “Cap, I think you’re over stating things.”  You snipped, your heartbeat quickening at the closeness.

His steel blue eyes bored down into yours intensely.  But before he could respond, Batroc, miraculously back to his feet, threw a hand grenade your way, and then quickly disappeared.  Quick thinking, Steve smacked the grenade away with the shield, and then grabbed you by the waist.  As Steve jumped, the two of you in midair, you shot out the window to an interior room where the two of you landed, just as the explosion went off. Smoke filled your lungs and ringing blared in your ears, as you and Steve backed quickly to the closest wall.  Steve sat up, looking out to assess the damage, but couldn’t see through the smoke.  You immediately felt guilty. “Okay,” you huffed, trying to catch your breath “that one’s on me.” Steve was quiet for a bit, not looking your way.  “You damn right it is.”  He seethed in a rage, standing to his feet and leaving you behind. You sighed heavily at the situation.  You had no idea where you and Steve stood in your relationship, but you guess that now, it wasn’t looking too good.

TAGS:

[gaamagirl565]

Matters of the Heart S3 ep 4

Matters of the heart Season 3 episode 4 The starlit cave

{OPENING CREDITS} {Open to the sun rising over the forest as very few people walk around camp in the early hours of the morning; Varian is discussing a map with Eugene; Rapunzel is helping gather water; Hector is chopping wood with his son; pan to a tent where Isaiah lay sleeping} Isaiah: ….dad stop...turning the apples...into...oranges… {Cut to something zooming in closer on the tent; cut back to Isaiah sleeping peacefully; it zooms in closer on the tent until it crash lands into it causing the tent to collapse making Isaiah scream and fumble out} Isaiah: AH! Wh-what the!? {Hamuel pokes his head out from the collapsed tent} Isaiah: UGHH! Hamuel! This better be good! {He grabs Hamuel and unties the message on his leg} Isaiah: I swear if this whole time you just did a big circle and this is the message I wrote I’m go-... {He reads the note and slowly a smile forms on his face; he grabs hamuel and runs off towards his dad; Cut to Varan talking to Eugene} Varian:  we scouted the whole area for healing herbs and I tried so many concoctions but I don't think we're going to be able to cure this. Eugene: we have to try something they're on the brink of d- Isaiah: DAD! {Varian turns to see Isaiah running for them before he trips and falls in the mud} Eugene: *snerk*...Like father like son. {Varian groans and takes out a blue orb} Isaiah: Huh? Dad...Dad no! No NO N-! {Varian tosses the orb and it explodes into a cloud of suds; as the bubbles slide away it leaves behind a clean but soaked through Isaiah} Isaiah:....really? Varian: Did you really want to walk around with mud on you all day? Isaiah:  that's not important, look at this! {He hands over the note and Varian looks it over} Varian:  captain of the SS Salvador? Eugene:  it sounds familiar. it's a trade ship I think. Passed through Corona a couple times. Varian:  Eugene listen to this he's offering us aid!  it says he has supplies and Manpower!   Eugene: probably not enough to take back Corona but hey it's a start!  how do you know these people? Isaiah: Captain Adrian Saved my life when I fell off the cliffs.  While I was on his ship I did some work to repay the favor.  he said if I ever needed his help again just ask.  I thought this situation was a good enough reason to ask for help. Eugene:  it says he's in the harbor he's using the cliffs to hide his ship from view. Varian:  I guess we're going on foot then... well as soon as Isaiah changes into some dry clothes. {Isaiah slings mud at him} Varian: EYY! Isaiah:  and as soon as you change your vest. {Isaiah runs off with Varian chasing him; Cut to the shore as Rapunzel, Eugene, lance, and Varian peer out from the cliffside at the ship wading in the waters;on shore a crew is taking inventory of supplies} Eugene: Looks like a crew of about 15 people… Lance: So what's the plan? Rapunzel:  well we need to make sure nobody's watching us first so maybe we should set up a scout around the perimeter and then- {Isaiah runs past them and down the shore} Isaiah: CAPTAIN ADRIAN! Rapunzel: O-or we could do that! Captain: Isaiah! There he is! {Isaiah jumps into his arms and they both fall over causing the captains powdered wg to fall off} Captain:  look how strong you've gotten! and I see you found your way back just as I thought you would. {The group walks over to meet the captain and crew} Isaiah:  Captain Adrian this is my dad the one I told you about. Varian:  it's a pleasure to meet you and I thank you so much for saving my son's life. Captain:  the pleasure was all mine. you've raised a fine young man. and you must be the king and queen of Corona. Rapunzel:  you guessed it! Captain:  I promise you my crew and I will do all that we can to help aid you.  I'm not really supposed to be doing this but I think the situation calls for it.  are cargo that were supposed to be trading should be more than enough supplies to last us for months. Eugene:  isn't giving away cargo you’re paid to deliver illegal in any way? Captain:  only if people find out. besides I'm pretty sure Corona can put it to better use. Lance: Those are a lot of crates and boxes. Captain:  indeed!  we have food, tools, clothing- Varian:  medicine? Captain:.... are people injured? Eugene:  we have many sick. Captain:  then we best not waste any time. Rapunzel: we brought horses and wagons to carry the supplies.  I suppose the sooner the better! Captain: Men! help load up the cargo! crew: aye sir! {Isaiah hugs the captain} Isaiah:  thank you so much captain… Captain:  as I said before the pleasure is all mine. {Cut to Noremoth laying in a cot groaning in pain; a rag is placed on his forehead; pan up to reveal Catalina} Keira: how's he doing? Cataliana:  not good… Keira:  you okay? Catalina: When Sterling was born... I said we could start over.  I was still mad at him but he really did seem like he was sorry.  and now that Isaiah is actually alive... not only that he risked his life to save them.  I just... feel like a jerk. {Keira walks over and hugs her} Keira:  don't.  you were mad and you had every right to be mad.  the fact that everything turned out okay is a good thing. Catalina:  it didn't turn out good for him. Keira:  look no matter what happens it's going to be okay. {Everyone walks into camp pulling the supplies along in two wagons} Captain: will look at this... quite the little community. Varian:  the best we got so fa- {A villager runs up} Villager: Your Majesty! Eugene: Whats wrong? Rapunzel: What happened? {The Villager looks up at them grimley; Rapunzel’s eyes dilate in fear} Rapunzel: no… { Rapunzel runs off in the direction of the sick bay} Eugene: Sunshine wait! {Eugene goes after her and everyone follows;  once they reach Sick Bay everyone notices a woman crying over a man laying still in a cot;  Rapunzel takes a minute to look over the man before giving the woman a tight hug} Eugene: oh no… {Eugene walks over and joins in comforting the widow} Isaiah: dad?... is he…? Varian:  yeah... I think he is. {The physician covers the man with a sheet} Varian: euggh...I'm... I'm going to go find your stepmother and brother.  don't go far okay? Isaiah: o-okay… {Varian walks off and Lily steps forward} Lily:  Isaiah... are you okay? Isaiah: what's going to happen to Nathaniel? Benny: ‘Saiah? {Isaiah runs into sick bay and over to Nathaniel’s cot; The others follow; Nathaniel's breathing is shallow and he's utterly pale;  Isaiah takes his hand and kneels next to him} Isaiah:  hey man... that's okay you don't have to talk. just listen okay?  it's going to be okay.  I'm not going to let you end up like that.  I promise that. { Willy walks forward and kneels next to Isaiah;  she holds his hand} Lily:  Isaiah... you can't promise that. Isaiah:  I can and I am! {Lily jumps} Isaiah: I can't lose anyone else. not again. { the hear someone walk up behind them and they all turn around to see the captain and one other sailor} Captain:  I've never seen an illness like this before. Isaiah:  we don't know what it is. we don't even know how to cure it. Captain:  I'm sorry. I've lost many fine sailors to illness. Some of them my best friends. if it's any consolation I know your pain. Isaiah:  I just wish there was some way I could... do something. Sailor: what about the Star Stones? Captain: oh do shut up… Isaiah: Star Stones? Captain:  old sailors tale, there's a type of stone thats said it to Glow like stars.  supposedly if you crush the stones into a powder they make a valuable medicine.  However… Sailor:  there's a reason they're so valuable!   these stones normally form in damp environments such as behind a waterfall making it very perilous to try and grab one! Captain: which is why it pays not to give the boy false hope… Sailor: sorry sir… {Isaiah looks back at  Nathaniel;  he then looks at Lily and Benny all of them seeming to have an understanding; Fade to later at night; Isaiah walks to the edge of camp meeting up with Lily and Benny} Isaiah:  okay everyone ready? Lily:  should we really be doing this? Isaiah: do you want Nathaniel to die!? Lily: no of course not! but the last time we tried to go off on our own we almost got killed. Benny:  yeah but this time you have me. and I'm kind of an expert on not dying. unlike someone here. Isaiah:  sometimes you really push boundaries you know that? Juniper: and where are you squirts going? {Isaiah jumps around clasping his hands over his mouth to muffle his scream} Isaiah:  don't do that! Juniper:  I'll ask again, where are you going? Benny: to get Star Stones! Isaiah: Benny! ugh...how’d you even know we were out here? {Akina peeks out from behind her} Lily: Akina? Akina:  I saw you guys heading towards the edge of camp and I got nervous! Juniper:  you want to get Star Stones? okay I'm going to put it out there right now yes those things exist but at the same time they are next to impossible to  obtain. even a grown man would have trouble grabbing  just one of those things. Isaiah:   people are going to die unless they get some proper medicine!  my dad can make that medicine out of these stones.  if there's a chance we have to try it! {Juniper groans and looks back at the camp before turning back to the kids} Juniper:  fine. but I'm coming with you. Isaiah: what!?  Why!? Juniper: no offense kid but you couldn't tell an onyx from a diamond.  secondly I know forests.  thirdly I know where we would be able to actually find these stones. Akina:  she does seem to know more about it than we do. Isaiah:  We?  now you're joining us?  am I just a leader of a tribe now!? {Juniper glares at him} Isaiah:  fine.  you can come with us only because you know where these things are. Juniper: ‘Kay! { she snatches the map from his hands and starts leading the way} Juniper: C’mon kids follow the leader. Isaiah: I really don't like her. Lily: *snickers* {cut to the forest as their walking through it} Isaiah: Do you have any idea where we're going? Juniper:  I know where to find Star Stones I just have to look on the map for where they might be forming. isaiah: excuse me... might? Juniper:  they tend to form in very dangerous environments.  normally behind a waterfall. Akina: there's a waterfall not too far from here! Juniper:  then I guess it's the first place we're looking.  come on slow pokes and try not to touch anything. I'm not going to get blamed if one of you catches poison oak. Lily: …. Hey um..Isaiah? Isaiah:  yeah? Lily:  no that were kind of alone you know with everyone ahead of us... was wondering if we could talk? Isaiah: oh um...okay. Lily: I've been meaning to ask... how are you really? Isaiah: honestly... not good.   people keep telling me I'm only a kid and that I should remember that.  but I feel like I haven't been a kid for a very long time. Lily:  what do you mean? Isaiah:  look at all that I've seen. what I've been forced to deal with.  and now my friend might be dying?  how can I be expected to stay a kid after dealing with all of this? {Lily takes his hand} Lily:  I don't know. But you want to know what I do know. Isaiah: what? Lily:  I know for a fact that I'm looking at a boy that's gone through hell and back and still come out smiling. if that isn't strength I don't know what is.  you're the strongest of all of us.  Just one of the many things I love about you. {Isaiah smiles softly and kisses her cheek making her giggle} Juniper: are you two done? We’re almost at the.... Isaiah: Well continue what you were saying? Juniper: Shut it! Isaiah:...im gonna kill her... {He moves forward with his dagger before hearing a large growl; All of them turn to see a large scarred up bear} Isaiah:...You know what, I'll let him Kill her. {The bear roars and charges at them; They all run following Juniper whom has taken out a sling shot and started firing sharp rocks at the bear} Juniper: GO! Up the stone wall! Climb! {They all start climbing the stone surface; Lily slips } Lily: AHH! Isaiah: LILY! {He grabs her hand and pulls her up to him} Isaiah: Hold onto me, okay? Lily: O-okay. {Juniper reaches the top first and helps Benny and Akina up} Juniper: Where are Isaiah and Lily? {They all look down and see Lily on Isaiah’s back as he climbs} Juniper: C’mon guys! Only a little further! Akina: You cando it! Benny: Get a move on stinky! Isaiah: Shaddup! {once they reach close to the top Juniper leans down and pulls them both up} Juniper: There we go! You guys okay? Lily: Y-yeah I think so.. {Isaiah looks down at his scrapped up and cut hands} Isaiah: augh… Juniper: c’mere… {She takes his hands and looks them; she reaches into her hip pouch and pulls out some cloth and wraps his hands} Juniper: When we get back to Camp you'll need some salve.  other than that you should be okay. Akina: Guys look! {She points to the waterfall cascading over the side of the rock wall; they all get up and walk behind the waterfall to find it’s covering a cave} Isaiah: Ladies first? No? Juniper: I’m no lady… {She kicks him into the cave; They walk down into the cave and come across a tunnel of glittering stones} Isaiah:....We found it… Benny: Woohoo! Look at em all! They really are like stars! Juniper: We better collect as much as we can, we don’t know how much the alchemist will need. {They start collecting as much as they need and put the stones in pouches; Isaiah looks over and stares at Lily in the glow of the stones; he grins but his smile disappears when they hear the sounds of the bear outside} Juniper: Crap...Everyone hide! {As everyone hides Juniper takes out her dagger; The bear walks in and notices her; it roars and charges her; she jumps on it and they fight their way outside} Akina: Juniper! {They all run outside to see Juniper holding her bleeding arm as the bear backs her into a corner; Benny picks up some rocks and throws them at the bear; The bear turns around} Benny: Come on! We gotta help! {They all pick up rocks and start throwing them; the bear backs further away with every throw} Isaiah: We can drive it off the cliff! Keep tossing rocks! {Isaiah grabs a handful and move forward; making the bear back over to the ledge; He throws one more rock and the force makes the bear slip off the ledge; it bites and pulls Isaiah’s cloak as its going down} Isaiah: AHHH! {Juniper lunges and grabs Isaiah as the cloak rips send the bear tumbling over} Lily: Are you okay!? {She runs into his arms} Isaiah: I’m okay lily.. {Juniper reaches into her pouch and pulls out some star stones} Juniper: Better get these back to your dad.. Isaiah: good point..But um..I’m leading the way this time. Juniper: Over my dead body! Isaiah: The bear is right down there that can be arranged! {cut to the camp at the dark early hours of morning; Isaiah and therest of the group runs into camp} Isaiah: DAD! Lily: Uncle Varian! Benny: Daddy! {Varian comes stumbling out of his tent half asleep holding his alchemy belt} Varian:uh da..wh-what happen? Isaiah: We have Star stones! We can make a cure from this! Varian: Y-your sure? Isaiah: Yeah! 100%! {Varian hugs Isaiah} Varian: That’s my boy!! {Start montage of Varian making cures and administering them to the sick; the purple spots fade from them and they start waking up} Nathaniel: hmm?...w-what’s going on? All 4: Nathaniel! {All 4 jump onto his cot to hug him knocking the bed over in the process} Nathaniel: AH!... {Cut to Varian opening a vial of the Medicine by Noremoth; Catalina looks on in worry} Lance: It’s gonna be okay… {Varian pours the Medicine into his mouth} Varian: now we wait… {Pan over to a candle and show the hours passing with it melting; pan to Noremoth finally waking up} Noremoth: mnn...owww my stomach… did I eat bad sausage again? Catalina: NOREMOTH! {She hugs him and he looks surprised for a moment before hugging back; lily peaks and smiles} Isaiah:Hey uh..Lily? Lily: eep! Isaiah you startled me! Isaiah: S-sorry! But um..I made you something. Lily: Really? {Isaiah holds out a star stone necklace} Lily: Oh Isaiah… Isaiah: I know it's not perfect... But... my dad gave my mom a necklace like that.  and I guess it meant a lot to her because I never saw her take it off.  I didn't even know Dad made it for the longest time.  but if it made her that happy... I want to make you that happy. so... I made you one. {Lily puts on the necklace and tears up} Isaiah: Lily? You oka-! {She jumps into a hug and kisses him; He smiles through it before they pull away} Lily: best present ever… {END CREDITS}

[sailorquinn]

『 hunter schafer. twenty one. trans girl. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that SAILOR QUINN from MAIN STREET i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them - GREEDY & - IMPULSIVE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool WAITRESS AT SUNRISE DINER AND LOCAL PSYCHIC and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been + WARM & + QUICK WITTED. i hope i see them around again! 『 pepper. twenty four. est. she/her. 』

ABOUT THE MUN. the 2000 claymation film chicken run radicalized me hi, hey, hello, everyone my name is pepper and i am at work 😔 but i am also currently slacking off from work to write this 🤠 we love to see it. the duality of man. a bit about me is that i would lay my life down for hunter schafer !!! i am so excited to finally play her this has been my dream since i laid eyes on her,,, that and to take her hand in marriage but i digress. fun fact number 2, i have just started skins at my big age and i hate tony with a passion!!! i’ll fight that little punk i swear !!! fun fact number three, i have an irrational fear of humanoid beings with gills, looking at you sharkboy !! thanks for traumatizing me as a kid buddy, someone had to do it !! this fear also includes the deep from the boys, that weird fish guy that that one lady banged in that oscar nominated movie, and gill from kim possible. all of these fish men all my living nightmares, thank you for coming to my ted talk 😌 (honestlee,,, why is this such a common trope in media. who started this,,,why do they hate me). and finally, the most important thing you need to know about me, is that as a child i thot that god looked like king trident from the little mermaid. i think we can all relate to that, right? right. okay moving onto the love of my life, ms. sailor quinn.  

BIO. winks with my third eye 

everyone in mapleview knows about the quinns. the family has been here probably nearly as long as the town has and is pretty well known for their eccentrics. let’s just say the quinns were definitely, understandably, some of the first women in the history of mapleview to be accused of as being witches, an act of which they made the good ol’ mapleview history books for. this is a fact that sailor often looks back on with pride. honestly, it was one of the only things that made going to history class worth it, because despite how painfully boring the class was in general, sailor could never get tired of the startled looks of her classmates whenever her ancestry was brought up.

nowadays the quinns are arguably living a less exciting life than the good old days of being accused of sorcery. instead, they’re psychics. fortune tellers, if you will. you can find their family shop on main street, and if you’re ever feeling particularly divinely inspired you can stop by for a reading and a few charms or some crystals (they also offer sagings and exorcisms) . the third eye has actually become a bit of a tourist attraction actually, well, as much of a tourist attraction as you could find in mapleview, due to the actions of sailor’s mother. 

to put it simply, sailor’s mother had plans bigger than mapleview could offer. around the time the she was eighteen she left the town for hollywood. now, you would think based in this information that venus quinn had big plans of being on the big screen maybe. or that perhaps she had the voice of an angel and wanted to sing on the radio. you would be wrong. 

sailor’s mother became a reality tv show psychic. as you can guess, the psychic community loves her. that is, if love involved a myriad of curses being put on you and maybe a bit of voodoo. okay, she’s universally despised by psychics pretty much everywhere. i think it’s to be expected. 

sailor was born into this legacy. as you can guess, it was a pretty heavy cross to bear. she was born into a b-list fame that meant her mother had to call her own paparazzi, that sailor herself simply had to be homeschooled to avoid the ‘mobbing’ of perhaps fifteen avid fans max, and that every morning in their grand living room her mother would let her hate mail fuel their fireplace. sailor would occasionally have her face plastered on tlc, or her voice would be heard as her mother made a ‘heartwarming call to her family at home whilst on tour’ but to put it bluntly, sailor was more of a prop in her mother’s fame than anything else. and it was bargain shop fame at best. but apparently still enough scrutiny that her mother felt the need to take her out of the public eye when she came out and began to transition. 

sailor came out to her mother at the age of nine and before she could even reach the age of ten, her mother had shipped her halfway across the country to mapleview to comfortably transition in a town of strangers and in a household of people she’d only ever met at argument fueled holiday parties. her mother swore up and down that this was to make sure that sailor could transition outside of public scrutiny, so that she could have her privacy in this time and not have to deal with the media hounding her down during such a vulnerable period but sailor couldn’t help but feel abandoned by the whole situation. it felt like her mother was hiding her away, like some sort of dirty little secret. it felt like she was ashamed of her, even if the woman swore up and down that she accepted sailor as she was.

sailor moved into the top of the third eye with her her aunts and grandmother and was welcomed into this clan of women with open arms. as mentioned earlier, most of sailor’s experience with her aunts and grandmother has been brief exchanges between her aunts screaming at her mother for being a sell out, her mother hollering back about them not supporting her, and her grandmother pretending to cast a curse on her mother from the head of the dining room table. you know. normal family gatherings, but not enough for you to truly get to know somebody. but it is within the quinn women’s household that sailor finally found her footing. she finally felt like she belonged. her aunts and gram taught her everything they knew and nurtured her lovingly throughout her transition. they gave her her first job working front desk at the third eye, made the place she felt like her mother abandoned her feel more like home than her mother’s place ever had. and she is painfully loyal to them for it. when her mother finally reached out to sailor at the age of sixteen, finally inviting her back home, sailor simply refused. and she’s been here in mapleview ever since.

a few years ago sailor’s mother moved back to mapleview to attempt to repair their relationship. to put it frankly, her views were plummeting quickly, and along with feeling some amount of remorse for her deteriorating relationship with her daughter she also thought that perhaps making her show a mother daughter act would bring some of the attention back to it. sailor has pretty much refused to speak to her, but she lives around sycamore way in a large house on a hill. 

despite sailor having no plans to break into the reality tv business, she really has no idea what she would like to do instead. she is currently content to just continue working at her family shop, and occasionally take up a few of the shifts at the diner as well. she likes money, and she certainly has ambitions to make more, the how is simply up in the air at the moment. honestly, life would be a lot simpler if she could see her own future. 

or well, anyone’s at all. 

HEADCANNONS.  are you a virgin? why are you planning a sacrifice?

 this is the song that inspired sailor, no i cannot explain why. 

sailor’s mother name is venus (vee), her aunts name is persephone (percy), her other aunts name is circe (cece) and finally her grandmother’s name is luna. both her aunts are unmarried and her grandmother is widowed. 

that said, sailor does have a father despite the fact that i didn’t once mention him djsdjk he is an artist and he loves her mother to death honestly. their relationship is almost completely based off of the relationship of cassie’s parents from skins, so yeah they can’t keep their hands off each other and sailor’s father kenneth often paints her mother nude. most of these paintings could be seen on display in her old household, so sailor really did just grow up seeing her mother butt ass naked every day. sometimes it be like that i suppose. 

sailor has three black cats. she calls them the muses and their names are calliope, clio, and urania. basically, whenever there is a black cat at the pound sailor makes it her mission to them home because the stigma against black cats that keeps them from getting adopted?? wack. sailor will adopt everyone of them. 

is currently still living above her family shop is kind of interested in finding an apartment to move into instead. is in the market for a roomie or like three!! all interested parties please apply. 

is actually kinda a con artist. honestly, her whole family kinda is but shh, don’t tell nsdkjsdjk none of them can actually see the future but aunt percy (who says she can see the future, but honestly while sailor does believe her aunt percy is also a bit loony so sdjhsdj who knows what the truth is?) and her grandmother. cece, vee, and sailor tho?? all faking it until they make it. honestly sailor is pretty good about it, although she doesn’t actively see the future she does believe in everything she practices for the most part, and it shows. that says, since she is frankly, a magpie when it comes to money and literally anything mildly expensive she will offer rich people tarot readings without any hesitation and proceed to make the whole thing up as she goes along. if sailor judges them to be bad people (aka rude, the kinda people who don’t tip, snooty, assholes) she will give them a horrible reading to instill the fear of god in them and charge them extra for some good luck charms to ward off their impending doom. but if she likes them she will read the cards as they are and do her best to give them good advice based on her gut. her only saving grace is that she has pretty good intuition anyways, so a lot of what she says tends to be right even if it’s just shots in the dark. (her aunt cece is worse though, she looks up all her clients online before they come to see her dskjdsjk all of her predictions are educated guesses based on her research)

the type to crush and crush hard. falls in love every other week, and gets her heart broken just as often. honestly, sailor tends to fall for anyone who is nice to her, or gives her attention, or whose attention she wants. she is constantly on tinder mostly for fun. tends to treat the app more like a game than anything else, goes out on one night stands a hookups at least ??? 3 times a week. will make cast a love spell for the guy who told her to stay dry when she left the grocery store or the girl who smiled at her on the bus. 

cannot drive but has a license. if you see sailor behind the wheel, duck. she drives a cute little sky blue bug though. it has eyelashes on the headlights. 

colours her hair whenever she is even mildly stressed. by default at the moment it’s a pretty silvery blonde, so she tends to colour the ends often depending on her mood. 

actually can sing unlike her mother, you can probably catch her at any open mic nights in town. she has a little guitar that she’s covered in flower stickers and named aphrodite.

that little frowny face florence pugh was making throughout the entirety of midsommar,,, unhappy sailor content. thank you for coming to my ted talk. 

the type to go to church and pretend to be overcome by the holy spirit just because she’s bored on a sunday sdkjsdj 

your girl is vegan and bisexual, we love to see it. 

PERSONALITY. feeling cute today. might commit acts of hubris

CHEEKY. 99.9% of the time sailor is joking. she is the type to generally tend to be in a cheerful mood no matter what, always laughing or making a dry joke. doesn’t tend to often be in a bad mood but when she is it says something. very witty honestly, tends to be quite funny and the type to go out of her way to make someone laugh

GREEDY. sailor loves money. she absolutely adores it. she’s kind of a magpie when it comes to material things, the type to go to antique stores and thrift stores and clear them out of absolutely anything that interests her. a shameless pickpocket and minor thief, but only when it comes to large corporations or people who look like they have a summer house stashed away somewhere. definitely snatched some sort of expensive little statue from her moms place the last time she went to visit a la fleabag. is probably still looking for some place to sell it online, but honestly also kinda wants to keep it. she’s named her no head nancy and she is currently sitting on sailors desk as a paperweight 

WARM. all faults aside, if you ever need something from somebody sailor is the one to go to. need a ride home from the club? sailor will come and get you in ten minutes. feeling sick? sailor will be over at your place with some vegan chicken noodle soup and a charm for good health. need someone to cheer you up? sailor is doing a chicken dance on your front porch. she is ultimately kind, and if you are her friend especially she will be there for you until death. 

IMPULSIVE. that said sailor does pretty much everything she does without thinking. she is actually, surprisingly enough, a bit of a planner when it comes to life and finances, like she is pretty organized considering how scattered her personality is otherwise. but if sailor gets a whim to go somewhere or do something out of nowhere, she will do it. commitments be damned. the type to suddenly get up and leave mapleview one day to live in hawaii for a year and learn to scuba dive yk. will send you postcards tho. 

this is my first time playing sailor so if this is a mess and contradictory it’s because i am too 😌 thank you for coming to my ted talk.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. god doesnt respond why should i

EXES. give. me. ANGST with this please. the more dramatic the better. it’s been a hot minute since i had a good ex connection so maybe something where they dated in high school or even more recently. where they’re trying to be on good terms but some angsty feels linger below the surface, or where they’re on really bad terms and can’t hide it. the kind of exes who keep going back to each other, or who can’t leave each other alone, jealousy, and all that good stuff yk 

BEST FRIENDS. pls. i would love for sailor to have like four or five of these honestly, just a little squad. these could be here roommates!! or not!! i plan on putting in a wc for her roommates honestly, so look forward to that. 

REGULAR CUSTOMER. someone who sailor is either milking dry or is just trying to reassure. she comes to their place in the middle of the night to sage the place because they swear they heard a ghost. they have a urgent skype call because they broke a mirror and want sailor to go over their future one more time to see how it’s been affected. sailor makes a lot of money off of them and either feels guilty about it or not even a little bit guilty about it depending on their relationship. 

OTHER REGULAR CUSTOMER. this is someone who sailor regularly serves at the diner. rip to them because she is horrible at it. they find sailors order taking pencil in their soup. sailor is constantly getting their order wrong. sometimes she sits down with them and steals their fries as she talks their ear off. sailor is honestly probably too comfortable with them considering how bad she is at her job, but she definitely considers them friends. 

A CRUSH. open to ladies, theydies, and gents! someone who sailor has a big ol’ dumb crush on. this is the person that sailor thinks of whenever she does a love reading, the person who she gazes at longingly whenever she sees them. she also probably talks their ear off whenever they see each other. big heart eyes atm, but sailor knows it probably won’t last more than a month. right?

EX-CRUSHES. that makes me think omg, i’d love to have some people sailor used to have a crush on. people she had a crush on in high school. people she had a crush on last year. just people she used to be obsessed with who she is completely over now sdkjdsjk maybe they’re friends now and sailor doesn’t know what she saw in them in the first place. maybe they’re enemies omg 

OPPOSITES ATTRACT. i’d like someone really grounded to be friends with sailor. like just someone with their shit together who isn’t as airy and whimsical as her. sailor makes them loosen up a bit, and they make sure sailor doesn’t end up dead. it’s a balance. 

i think that’s all i can think of for now but honestly i’d also love to see a bully sailor used to have a s child, someone who thinks psychics and astrology and everything is bs just so sailor can like !!! debate with them about it yk, someone who’s a fan of her moms show, someone who maybe comes to sailors open mic nights religiously, a neighbor maybe like just the person who lives above the shop beside the third eye and sees these women baying at the moon during the summer solstice and is like ??? fuck i gotta move, previous one night stands, fwb, ewb, uh someone who bonds with sailor over occult stuff???

[fifteenskies15]

The Immortal Water Pillar, Tomioka Giyuu

(Tomioka Giyuu x Mermaid! Reader)

Summary: Tomioka Giyuu, The Water Pillar has live long enough, more than you know... But how did that happen? Well, it all started when young Giyuu met a mermaid...

Admin's note: Hello again everyone! I came back and this time I'm with Giyuu content, hopefully this will turn out well... I'm actually nervous about this since this is adapted/referenced from Yaobikuni and because Giyuu ate mermaid (or merman aka reader's) flesh, he's definitely the oldest (and still the most handsome) Pillar in demon Slayer corps, I warn you, this'll be OOC and there will be GiyuShino here

TW: Mention of Giyuu committing suicide (Artwork does not belong to me)

Legend said that there is a woman who accidentally ate mermaid flesh...

She doesn't age and stayed like she was, young and beautiful, got married but then she became a widow, tired of living this life, she became a bhiksuni and travel around the world, and she died at age 800...

She might be dead, but mermaid's flesh did have a wonder for her... She can live for eight century, but in reality... Whoever ate the flesh will surely live forever or became an Immortal.

"Tomioka-san, you're not a human aren't you?" Shinobu said out of the blue, as she and Giyuu were sitting on the engawa while watching the full moon, the question definitely caught Giyuu off guard, he looked at the petite girl who looked at him with that typical smile on her face, but you could tell she definitely put Giyuu in position.

Giyuu remained silent as the night itself, he wasn't sure how to answer that.

Matter of fact, he is a human but...

"....."

"Tomioka-san, you should know that silence could mean as a yes, so I was right that you're not a human..."

Giyuu's blue and lifeless Cobalt blue eyes looked at her as in saying "does anyone know about this?"

Shinobu shakes her head no, "No one knows... At least not yet..." Giyuu keep staring at her, he seemed to weigh option whether he should tell her or not, seeing that he's aware that Shinobu doesn't seem to fancy him that much.

Shinobu however could detect distrust radiating from the man.

"Tomioka-san, You could tell me, I swear I won't tell any soul"

Giyuu still not believing her.

"...You promised"

Shinobu nodded solemnly signifying that she really won't tell anyone.

Giyuu stayed silent as he roll up the sleeve and pull out his sword from his sheathe, the blue color of the blade illuminated by the moon.

"Have a look, Kochō"

Giyuu cut his arm, a long, gross scar on his skin and blood dripping off from his arm, Shinobu were mildly shocked "Tomioka-san, what are you...!?"

Her purple eyes widen as she saw the cut on his arm are instantly healed, no cuts, he wordlessly put his sword back to its sheath

"Tomioka-san, may I...?"

Giyuu nodded and let Shinobu examine his arm, her eyes are filled with wonder and curiosity

"How curious, you had an exceptional regeneration ability, it's even more better than demons, it's quite fascinating..."

She looked up at Giyuu, frowning.

"But how...?"

Giyuu looked back at the full moon, looking wistful "...Kochō... Have you heard the tale of Yaobikuni?"

"Ah... That's the tale of female bhiksu who live for 800 years because she ate the mermaid flesh..."

A flash of realization hit her

"Tomioka-san, you're pulling my leg..."

Giyuu just looked at his feet, another silence blanketed the air, and it's really heavy that it's almost hard to breathe.

"Tomioka-san..."

"Kochō... I'm a human but I actually have live more longer than you know..."

Shinobu were out of words.

"Then...how long...how long have you...live?"

Giyuu thought of it, it's been so long since he lived he couldn't even remember how long he live now.

"If I recall correctly, I'm born in Kansei era..."

Once again, Shinobu rendered speechless, this man, who are known for his reversed personality and distance himself from the other pillars has lived for two centuries...

"I will tell you everything but I'm not sure if you're going to believe me"

Shinobu is not the person who believed about mythical creatures aside from demon such as mermaids.

But if she heard everything from the man who lived for nearly 200 years...

...

Shinobu looked into Giyuu's blue eyes intensely, demanding him to tell her everything "Tell me everything, Tomioka-san..."

"Very well..." He looked up at the night sky and told her everything...

200 hundreds years ago...

Young Tomioka Giyuu and his sister Tsutako lived near the docks, everyday, young Giyuu could see fishermen, sailors and travellers come and go by the boat or a big vessel, aside from that, he could feel the wind gently blowing against his skin, the salty smell of the seawater and wave crashing against the reef, sometimes he watch as the sun rise and when the sun is setting, whenever Tsutako off to the city, he always play at the shore, watching the fishermen taking off to the sea or just enjoying the calm and serene sea.

It was another day Giyuu played by the shore, laughing as he kicked the sand with his small feet, he lift up his hakama and enjoy the feeling of the sea wave against his ankle, smiling and laughing, forgetting the fact that the land were plagued by the demon attacks, he could see the seagull flying, the palm trees gently swaying, Giyuu breath in and out as he taking in the beauty of nature in front of him.

Sometimes he wonder, what kind of place that exist across the big blue sea considering how big this world is.

As he enjoyed the sound of the waves, he could hear a faint sob somewhere, he looked around, there was no one but him

"Hello? Is anybody there?"

"...help me..."

Giyuu craned his ear and followed voice

"Somebody... please..."

He kept following the voice, he didn't realize he's been walking further, but it's a good thing that he remembered his way back

Soon enough, the sobs and plea growing louder and that's when Giyuu find something unbelievable...

He saw a mermaid/merman, her/his tail were trapped in fishermen's net, the mermaid/merman is around Giyuu's age too.

How is it possible?

"Hey, it's okay! I'm going to help you"

The mermaid/merman seems desperate that she/he didn't mind a human helped her/him "Please... It hurts..." Giyuu carefully climbed down the jagged path as he try to help the poor creature, Giyuu had watch several fisherman fiddling with their nets so he knows exactly what he must do.

He can't help but to feel your (E/C) eyes staring at him, Giyuu stopped for a while, examining you "Are you a mermaid/merman?" Although it was obvious, You just nodded as he continued to free you, Giyuu focused on the net and finally manage to free you, you smiled as you sway your (scale color) tail freely, you looked at Giyuu with a beaming smile "Thank you so much for saving me, human, I'm in your debt, how should I pay you?"

"Pay me?" Giyuu ask a little confused "Yes! Paying you because you have saved me rather selflessly I say... So what do you want? Oh wait, I know! I know you want immortality!"

Young Giyuu knows that living as an Immortal being is dream of any people, but there's beauty of growing old and even death itself, Tsutako said to him that no matter how much you want to be Immortal, you will never understand how is it to have a change within yourself, either it's physically or mentally, Giyuu smiled and shook his head "No?"

"No I don't want immortality, I'm happy that I could help you" you pouted then you look at Giyuu hands, there's a bit of cuts, he probably didn't realize that releasing you did hurt him "Your hand..." Giyuu tilted his head then look at his own hand "Oh! It's okay! I'll be fine, I can just lick it!" You widen his eyes and grab his hands in rush "No! It won't do you any good!" You looked around and to see a stone with jagged edge and cut your finger with it

"What are you doing?!"

"Shush!"

You let the blood dripping into his cuts and miraculously his hands were healed, Giyuu looked at it his now flawless hands in awe "How did you do that??" You proudly huffed your chest "I'm a mermaid/merman remember? Our blood had regenerative ability, even if just one drop we could heal those who are gravely injured!" Giyuu watch as the cut on your finger regenerated in a blink of an eye "That's amazing"

"It is, isn't it?" You smiled as you lean against the rock watching Giyuu closely "By the way, I'm (name), what's yours?"

"Giyuu...Tomioka Giyuu" he say as he bow slightly at you "Ah, take it easy, Giyuu!" Giyuu just smiled at you and nods "Okay then" he then looked at you tail curiously "What's wrong with my tail?"

"I think it's pretty" he say sitting down and dip his feet in the cold but refreshing seawater, you peer curiously at his small feet "Wow, your feet are small!"

"Yeah, I know but it will grow soon...hey!!" He fell on his back as you lift his feet and looked at it in awe "Wow! Look at your toes! It's so small! I wonder if humans feet are sensitive?" You cluelessly touched his feet as Giyuu stiffled a laugh "Stop..." You looked at his face and smiled mischievously and tickled his feet, Giyuu burst out laughing "Hahaha!! Ahhh!! Stop!! It's ticklish!!"

You laughed and keep tickling his feet, at the same time you amazed at how sensitive humans feet are, maybe this is why they used a thing called...zori? or geta? Or whatever it's called... It must be used to protect the sensitive human foot

Fascinating!

You stopped tickling him as Giyuu exhaled a relieved sigh "Geez, you could just ask me not giving me a surprise attack like that" you giggled "Sorry, I'm just curious, it's just, you're the first human I ever seen in my life!"

"Really?"

You nodded and looked at him with wonder and curiosity "I want to know more about human things! What did they eat? Why do you all wear weird clothes? How is it feel to run free?" Giyuu smiled at you and seem gesture you to calm down "I will tell you if you tell me how is it feel to be a mermaid"

"Deal"

"Now what do you want to know?"

You thought about it for a while "Why do humans eat fish?"

Well that certainly one heck of a question coming from a mermaid like you "Because they're tasty" Giyuu said "But some of the humans didn't really eat fish you know, some of them eat rice with vegetables"

Your eyes sparked with interest "Rice? Vegetables? I want to try them! It must be tasty!!"

"Hehe maybe when we can, I will come and get you some"

"Please!! I want to try what you humans eat!"

"I will, what else do you want to know?"

"Well..."

That day you and Giyuu spending time talking about human stuff, and you told him about mermaid things, you both talked till the sun begin to set "Giyuu, look! Sunset!!"

Giyuu smiled at how the sun slowly sinking, the once blue sky turned orange "I have seen sunset but I never knew it looked so beautiful here!" He then stood up and give you a sad smile "Well, it's nice to meet you (name), but I had to go before it's too late"

You pouted sadly "Giyuu, wait! Can I see you again tomorrow?"

"I don't know, will you be here tommorow?"

A smile spread across your face as you nodded "Yeah, I'll be here, waiting for you"

"Then I'll be here tomorrow, see you, (name)!" Giyuu waved and run back to the docks as you swim away to place where you stay.

As he reached the docks, Tsutako just came back from the town as well, "Giyuu, where have you been?" Giyuu just smiled happily "The reef near the seashore, I was just want to see a change of scenery" Tsutako smiled at him and ruffled his hair "Well next time I have day off take me with you" Giyuu smiled and nodded, he knows that his sister is very nice so his mermaid friend would like her too.

The next day, Giyuu came with riceball he made himself, he hoped that you would like it, he arrived at the same place, as he wait for you, he once again dip his feet in the cold seawater while humming "I wonder if she's/he's here..."

"Good afternoon, Giyuu!!"

"Whoa!!"

Giyuu jumped a bit as you emerge from the water with a smile on your face, you laugh at him "Hahahaha!! You should see your face!" Giyuu huffed his cheeks and pouted "You almost gave me a heart attack" you giggled and climbed up to the shore so you sit next to him "Sorry, sorry, I just wanted to surprise you"

You peered at the riceball he bought for you "Ooh, is this what human food looks like? It's cute!! Look at how you put the seaweed on it!" You say looking at the food with sparkling eyes, Giyuu smiled and put the box on his lap "This called riceball, it's a simple dish but it's filling when you really don't want to cook, have a bite" he say as he offer you one, you gratefully accept it and take a bite

It's tasty!

"Wow! This is delicious!!" You say as you gobbled up your food, Giyuu ate on for himself and smiled at you "Right? When my sister is away, I always make this for myself so I don't get hungry"

"You have a sister?" Giyuu nodded as he looked at the vast blue sea, "She's beautiful, nice and knows how to cook, someday I want to take her here so she can meet you" You're intrigued, Giyuu is nice and his sister must be very nice too, you yourself didn't really have any sibling so you kind of envied him.

"(name) are you okay? Are you mad that I wanted to take my sister here?"

"Huh? Of course not! I actually really want to meet her, it's just that..." You sighed and take a bite of your riceball "It's just that I'm jealous of you, it must be nice to have a sibling, I have spent my life all alone, my only companions are fishes in the sea, but I can't just tell what's bothering me to them, I need someone who can relate to me and understand me like a sibling did" you say sighing, Giyuu pouted and patted your back, you looked at her quizzically "What are you doing, Giyuu?"

"I'm trying to cheer you up"

"Is this some kind of gesture that most humans did to another?"

"Yup!" He stopped and looked at you "(name), if there's anything that bothers you, you can tell me anything!" You looked at him with hopeful eyes "You will?" He nodded "Of course! That's what friends for!"

Friends...

That's sounds amazing...

"Do you really mean it?"

"Do I really mean what?"

"That you are my friend?"

"Of course we are! I know we came from different world, but that doesn't stop me from being friends with you!" You could feel tears welled up in your eyes, the way Giyuu said it and how it's reflected inside his eyes, he was genuine.

"Waaahhh!! Giyuu!!!" You tackled him to a hug while you cry into his chest, truth to be told, you have met so many humans but none of them are as kind and as genuine as Giyuu... your eyes, the way Giyuu said it... His feelings are genuine

"Hey, hey, it's okay, don't cry" he say as he hugged you back, he could feel something on his lap and to see...pearls?!

You pulled away, wiping your tears away, smiling at him "Sometimes I forgot that mermaids can make a pearl from their tears, well, why don't you keep it?" Giyuu looked down at the pearls, it will be nice if he sell them and the money can be used for his sister but...

...

He scooped the pearls and throw it away to the sea "Huh, Giyuu you sure you don't want it? It would give you a plenty of good fortune" Giyuu shook his head "I don't need pearls like those, I became your friend just the way you are not because of what you're capable of" you smiled again and hugged him, gently this time "You had a pure heart Giyuu"

"What is that even mean?"

"Hehe nothing, just wanted to say it"

That day, the two of you spend time eating the riceball untill the sun began to set.

----

Years pass, and Giyuu had grown up into a fine young man and so are you, Giyuu still visited from time to time, and the more you spend your time with him, the more you realize how handsome Giyuu is.

"Is everything okay, (name)?" You looked away and sputtered "N-nothing!! Anyways... How have you been doing? Especially with all the recent demon attacks" Giyuu's smile falter as he sighed "I have been fine...I trained with someone who live in the mountain so I can defend myself and other people" he looked rather distant, something must've troubled his mind "Are you worried that we can't see each other now that you're going to mountains?"

Giyuu nodded "The man, Sakonji Urokodaki is very kind, his training may be gruesome but he's still allow me to see you when I had a free time"

"I see..." You just sway your tail then looked at him "Anyways, how is Tsutako nee-san doing?" A warm smile spread on his face "She's going to get married next month"

"Really?! That's great!" You say smiling, Tsutako is really nice when Giyuu took her to see you, of course you like her almost immediately "When Tsutako nee-san is married you and I are gonna be aunt and uncle!/uncles!" Giyuu chuckled and nodded "Yes we do, I'm so happy for her"

"Oh! Before I forget..." You began to shed a tear as it turn into a very beautiful pearl "Here Giyuu, I want Tsutako nee-san to have this" Giyuu was astonished "(Name) are you really sure?" You nodded and give the pearls to him "This is my token of appreciation, a thank you give for her, tell her I wish her to have a happy marriage" Giyuu smiled and held the pearl before he put it in his pocket "Tsutako nee-san will love this"

You smiled at him, then you both watch the horizon sky in peaceful silence, you scoot closer to Giyuu and lay your head on his shoulder, Giyuu smile and lay his head against yours "I'm going to miss this once I got to the demon slayer corps..." You pouted sadly since you know you won't see him for the time being "and I will miss you too, Giyuu..."

Giyuu looked at you wistfully and take your hand on his "You won't lose me, when I can, I will come back here to see you and tell you everything that happened..."

You looked at him

"...You promised"

He nodded solemnly as he remove the strand of your hair from your face "You have my word"

You smiled sadly at him, you tried to cherish the moment before he went back to the mountain again and you want to give him the thing you made for him since you know this day would come

"Giyuu, give me your hand"

Giyuu was a bit confused but he did anyways, you handed her a seashell with a pearl on it and there's an engraving on the pearl

義勇富岡

"My name?" You nodded happily "I remember how you teach me how to write your name, I made this so you could remember me when you see it" Giyuu smiled and held the beautiful seashell close to his heart "I will treasure this forever... Thank you, (name)"

You smiled and hugged him as you both witnessed the last sunset together...

"I loathe to say it..."

"Then don't..."

Giyuu sighed and went on his feet "But I must go, tomorrow I have to go back to training" you tried to not cry and stay strong knowing that you won't see him for a long time, "I wish you good luck, Giyuu..." You swim to the sea and give Giyuu one last fleeting look, he looked sad as he waved and mouthed "until we meet again"

You nod and dive back into the sea...

Month has passed, you keep waiting and waiting for Giyuu to come back, he's not coming... But that's not going to stop you from waiting for him.

But this time you're worried, for the first time you swim near the docks where Giyuu lived, you could hear many fishermen or people talking

"... unfortunate... really"

"...such shame...she was a nice young woman..."

...What?

You peer closer and try not to get their attention "Do you know Tomioka Tsutako? It's unfortunate that she's dead right before her wedding day"

...What...?!

"Yes, it's such a shame that she died before the day she became a blushing bride, pity her, pity her"

"That's why many youngster trade their lives for danger to put people's heart at ease and become demon Slayer"

"Come to think of it, her brother is one of them too, right?"

"I'm not sure yet, but let's hope that boy is alive and well"

You felt like being hit, Tsutako is...

...

With tears in your eyes you swim aimlessly to take your mind off the ugly possiblity that will happen to Giyuu, you stopped and climb on a reef, sitting on it and sing a sad melodies, you mourned, you mourned of your friend's death and thinking about Giyuu, how can he deal with this?

"Giyuu, please be okay..."

----

A year had passed and you still wait for Giyuu at the very same place all those year ago, and he still didn't came

Giyuu, where are you now? How are you now?

You looked at the horizon, it feels disrespectful when you see this beautiful scenery without Giyuu by your side, you still remember his smile and how his eyes gleam in happiness Everytime he talk to you

"Giyuu, I wish you were here..."

Your eyes wander around just in case you actually see him, and you did...You could see Giyuu sitting on the sea cliff, motionless"

Giyuu!!" You called at him, but he didn't hear you... You then noticed he pulled out his sword as he stood up near the cliff

...No

No!!

"GIYUU NO!!!"

Too late, he already plunge his sword into his stomach, he then fall backwards and plunge into the sea, you swim as fast as you could to save him, you looked around and see his body slowly sinking in to the deeper sea, sword still stuck on his stomach and the color of ugly red seeping out from his abdomen

Just a little more...!

You manage to grab him and quickly bring him to the shore, you lay him down carefully and pull out his sword from his stomach, you put your ear on his chest, his heart were beating weakly, he's gonna be a goner soon...

You took his red streaked blade and cut your wrist as you let if fall on his stomach, the cut on his stomach is healed and there's one thing you must do when he's awake

You got closer to him, you did a chest compressor so he could cough out all the water, when it's enough, you get even more closer to him and connect his lips with yours...

...

...

Giyuu coughed as air finally filled his lung he looked around and to find you looking at him with worry in your eyes

"(Name), it's you..."

"Yeah, it's me..."

And out of the blue you punched him, hard that he stumbled back, but he doesn't seem to react anything as if he deserves it

"You idiot!!! What the hell happened with your mind?! Why would you do such stupid thing?!" You pulled his collar as his blue eyes didn't even met yours "Answer me!!! Why did you do that?! Did you forget the promise we made here?! Am I nothing to you know?! Is it what Tsutako nee-san wants?! IS IT?!"

You were so sad and angry at him, guilt spread over his now expressionless face.

He should've know there's another person aside from Tsutako and Sabito who cares about him.

"...No..."

"Then why...?"

He looked at you with his empty blue eyes, you realize that there is no light inside it like you used to see "I have lost my sister and I have lost my best friend, I'm punishing myself because I'm not strong enough for them, and I know I'm not strong enough to even protect you, so I..."

You cut him off by hugging him tightly, hesitantly he put his arms around you and hold you like you're his lifeline

"Giyuu, you still have me no matter what happens..."

"I know...and I'm sorry..."

You both embraced each other in silence as you spoke up "Eat me, Giyuu"

...

"(Name), what do you mean?"

"Just eat me!! I can't bear the thought of you dying!!! I won't let anyone and demons kill you! You have to stay alive to protect innocent people from the demons!!"

You cupped his cheeks and pressed your forehead against his "I know this is very selfish of me to ask, but I want you to stay alive, for me, for Tsutako nee-san and your best friend..." Giyuu looked at you with mixed feelings "When the demons are eradicated, I want you to come back here, spending time together like we used to and tell me everything and if you're tired living as an immortal I'll be here" you say joked at the last part as you hugged him.

"(name)..."

"Go ahead, I'll be fine..."

With few hesitation, Giyuu bit your shoulder slowly before he began to "eat" you, blood dripping down from your shoulder, you could feel his tears against your shoulder as you assure him everything is going to be fine...

Then he stopped, he pulled away from you with mouth smeared with your blood, and tears running from his blue eyes "(Name) I'm sorry..."

"Don't be..." You smiled as you recovering slowly, but the bite mark on your shoulder remain there, you smiled at him "To remind me of you and knowing that one day you'll come back..." Giyuu then pulled you into his arms as you hug him back just as much...

Knowing that this is truly the last time you see him...

You patted away and go back to the water as you smiled at him "Run along now Giyuu, protect people with all your strength, no matter how long it takes, I'm here, I'm always here, waiting for you..."

He nodded as he wipe the blood off his mouth "I promise I will come back here..."

"You promised..." You smiled, tearing up.

"...See you soon, Tomioka Giyuu" you say as you dive back, Giyuu watch as you swim away.

"See you soon, (name)..." With that, he left the sea and go to where he belongs to.

Shinobu was speechless as he listen to Giyuu's story, she couldn't imagine what he's been through and what he's seen. "And does Oyakata-sama knows about your unusual condition?" Giyuu nods "He knows and he keep it a secret from everyone...which makes you the second person to know about this..."

He rummaged his pocket as he pulled out the memento you have him hundreds years ago, Shinobu watch in amazement as she saw it was still in perfect condition

"It's beautiful..."

And to her surprise, Giyuu smiled as he looked at it "It is..." The pearl were beautifully illuminated by the moonlight.

"This is what keeps me going...I promised her/him that I will come back once everything is settled"

It's definitely weird, but Shinobu couldn't hold back her smile "You sure secretly a softie, Tomioka-san"

"Be quiet, Kochō..."

Shinobu just chuckled as she and Giyuu keep basking under the moonlight, in his heart Giyuu promised that he will stay alive as long as he can no matter how cruel and painful life can be.

And someday soon, he surely will come back to you.

----

Admin 15: Wow, that sure very long! Anyways, I'm sorry if you don't catch what happened in the story or the GiyuShino reference here, thank you very much for taking your time reading this!

[madlittlecriminal]

DOGS!

no one asked for this, but since i always mention these knuckleheads, i figured it’s time for you guys to “meet” them!

SPANKY: he’s the eldest dog as he’s 9 years old. we’ve had this boy since he was a month old & according to the woman my mom bought him from, my mom was the ONLY person he ever went up to. apparently, it shocked the woman, but my mom was happy & decided he was the one out of him & his three other siblings. AFTER ALL, he DID pick my mom :) he’s a bichon frise mix (it’s a French/Spanish (Spaniard) breed). his mix is unknown as we forgot what his mother was mixed with & we haven’t seen them in almost a decade. he’s a father of 7 pups (happy Father’s Day, bud bud) & a hubby. he’s also spoiled rotten thanks to my dad! fun fact: Spanky is & has been my pfp for YEARS now. if im not mistaken, he’s been there since i was either in 8th grade or i was a freshman in high school. can’t remember.

GOTITA: she’s Spanky’s wifey & the mother of 7 pups. we got her when she was almost two months old. Right now, she’s 4 years old & before y’all come at me, they did it too early. we weren’t home when it happened & yeah. ANYWAY, she’s the best! she has a fear of fireworks though, but she’s also very affectionate. by that, i mean, she wants to be the one getting affection. however, she’s hilarious & tends to do a little dance with her hips when she wags her tail while you call her name. she’s a mess though because she tends to take her son’s toy when he wants to play. she’s a bichon frise & cavalier mix.

FACE: he’s one of the 7 pups. we had to sell the other 5 because it was too much for us, BUT THEY HAVE AMAZING HOMES! my mom made sure she knew the people BEFORE selling the pups & they always send pics to my mom about the pups. they’re all adorable :) face is 3 years old (LIKE I SAID, TOO EARLY, BUT WE WERENT HOME) & he also has a fear of fireworks. he’s not as affectionate as his mom, but he does “ask” for belly scratches & he does “ask” to play. his name is because when he was a tiny boy, my dad thought his face wasn’t the cutest & named him Face. now he goes off about how his face is the cutest, but hey! my dad has a great history with names, i mean, me & my twin have the same name, it’s just spelled differently XD Face belongs to my twin & my twin will literally say, “get your own dog” if someone even says they’re taking Face with them. he was gonna be one of the ones to get sold, but the lady who said she wanted him changed her mind & the day after he got his shots, she said she wanted him...in conclusion, Face has been part of this family & off limits for three years.

OSITA: even though she’s not a twin, her & Face scheme like twins. literally, it’s me & my twin as dogs because they do things that make my mom say, “como tú y tu hermano” (like you & your brother). she’s the second of the 7 we kept because apparently no one wanted her, but i didn’t care because she fell in love with me. my phone is flooded with pictures of her laying on me or trying to get my attention with her cuteness. she’s my little baby & i love her so much! AHHH!! she’s like her father, but a bit more calmer as she’s pretty quiet. however, let someone walk near our house when the widows are open & she’ll scare anyone with her mighty bark. im not exaggerating, people have actually cursed like a sailor when she barks at them. they even jump. also, she likes to get my attention when im writing to the point where she even looks me dead in the eyes like, “mom, love me.”

these are my doggos that i constantly talk about. now you’ve met the four fluff balls that stole my heart :D

SPECIAL GUEST:

BLUE: this is our budgie Blue! he sings his heart out to lots of Spanish music & the occasional rap. he’s very playful & loves to dance. he’s a cutie though :) he spends his time flying around the living or playing with his toys. he’s also very “demanding” because when that birdie wants attention, he’ll practically yell at the top of his tiny lungs until someone talks to him. he doesn’t talk, but he responds with his chirps.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

(2/2)Mann who writes himself into EVERY one of his novels, usually as this cynic and, quite frankly, unlikable ‘writer genius’ who hates about everyone except the pretty waiters at his favorite restaurant. Or Dostoyevsky who’s selfinserts are always . A complete mess. Or Kafka who’s inserts are even more of a mess AND die horribly. And ofc Since you mentioned Moby Dick there’s also Melville who just straight up unashamedly ships his insert with a handsome buff sailor. That’s so much more fun imo

Just first up: The first half of your ask disappeared once again on, I read it, I drafted it to answer and then it was gone, but I read it and I remember most of my answer to it. You may wonder why I drafted an ask again after the last one disappeared and the answer is because I’m a god-damn moron.

I think the negative opinion people have about self-inserts today has a lot to do with the way people learn writing these days and I think it's especially prominent among writers who either write fanfiction or come into original writing from fanfiction. Many people either read tips or read books on writing and this advice is usually all about 'do-s' and 'don't's in my experience, and I'm not sure that's helpful. But one big Don't is Mary Sue's, self-inserts, because (according to these tips) they might be over-powered or something.

And this makes sense to a certain degree especially from a fanfiction point of view. It is boring if someone who doesn't know any of the characters and their world waltzes in and solves their problems in ten minutes flat as if everyone else had just been morons who couldn't have figured that out for themselves. But I think that's a problem on plot-level not on the character level. It says nothing about the character and whether they are good. They might be interesting. They may be a flat, boring character completely unrelated to the plot. Rather, you should ask yourself if it really makes sense for the character to assemble all the necessary information to solve that problem as quickly as they do. And whether you have properly introduced their means of doing so in a way that makes them relatable to the audience. And obviously, causing problems for your characters that they have to work to overcome is also a part of writing, so you have to ask yourself if you made life difficult enough for them.

The thing is, we live in the age of super-heroes, media-wise, not even just literal ones. Many of the most popular fictional characters are in many ways Mary Sues. And we often talk about how YA novels are very popular among adults as well. And since YA novels often have a young main-character managing feats no one would have expected of them and surviving against the odds, I think it's fair to say that people do want to see that and that they do want to see the unlikely candidate triumph, even if it means cutting some corners regarding how likely it is.

But the problem is that young writers are told to avoid these types of characters and the examples are usually the typical Mary Sue and the typical Mary Sue has certain attributes: stereotypically a good-looking young woman with a minor ‘flaw’, inconspicuous at first but suddenly a badass, not terrified of the big villains etc. So people are often discouraged from using this type of character in general and it's the character itself instead of the plot that is treated as bad writing. And people tend to take this sort of writing advice not only as something that is supposed to help them write but also a tool to judge something already is written and they decide that the existence of a character fitting this description in some shape or form is already a sign that the work is bad. That`s why, the moment someone doesn’t like a particular work, they point towards these characters while they probably like a lot of similar characters in other media. 

Now, your original ask (rip ask) was about writer-inserts rather than self-inserts so maybe this answer might seem off topic, but you mentioned Hermoine Granger as JK Rowling's self-insert, which got me thinking about this question why some are rejected and others are not.

Many people - especially young women - insist that Hermoine was a very important character to them and that they related to her growing up. And I think there is a good reason why the common reaction was: “Hey this girl reminds me of me!” rather than: “Hey, that’s clearly JK Rowling!” Because she is defined by traits that are common experiences. In fact, I would argue that she is even made accessible for the audience to relate to. 

JK Rowling was a teacher. She could have easily made her surrogate a teacher-character in Hogwarts. She could have made it someone her age. It could have been a side-character. But Hermoine is a main-character and in the same age-group as our other main-characters. She’s a pupil, like most of the intended audience. And her experiences are some that are very relatable to many people: She is very intelligent and eager to learn, but people make fun of her for it or are annoyed. She is socially awkward and even bullied. She is insecure about her looks. 

But then, there are also some validating messages in all of this: Her intelligence and knowledge are eventually appreciated and frequently help the heroes save the day. She finds true friends. Men fall in love with her. For the exercise of this ask, I’m going to coin this an ‘open-door’ writer-insert. Open-door, because JK basically invites the readers to identify with her, because Hermoine’s characterisation is dominated by traits that JK shares with many people - not super-exclusive traits like how she likes her tea or sharing her favourite musician. Instead, she goes to extra-length to make this character accessible to her intended audience.

Also, when people talk about relating to fictional characters and Harry Potter in particular, they often point out how it helped them through dark times. Especially now many people write about how Rowling’s views affect their memories of their own childhood, because these books provided them with comfort when they were struggling. My point here is, we don’t relate to characters in that way because we solved our own problems. We relate to them because their struggles resemble our own, not their solutions. In fact, seeing that these fictional characters stay strong and that they find a happy-end is part of why they are able to provide comfort and I think that’s a function that is very particular to these open-door inserts: They tell us we can make it, because they already did.

As a different example, someone else who is very famous for working his own identity into his own characters is Stephen King and his endless string of Main-based authors with personal demons. Misery, for example, is based on his own experiences when fans hounded him over writing a fantasy book rater than the horror they’ve come to expect of him once (as well as his cocaine addiction). But in my opinion, his characters ‘close the door’ rather than open it, because they are very much defined by King’s own personality. I’m not going to make an argument whether that’s better or worse writing, I just think it provides different opportunities and changes the intention. I don’t know (m)any people who read Stephen King novels because the main-characters gave them such hope and strength in their darkest times. And King doesn’t change his insert to match the experiences of his intended audience. 

If you think about Misery, his readers do get a role - that of the insane fan torturing the author to write a work that matches their expectations. Basically, neither of these characters are supposed to make us think: “Wow this is absolutely me and the way they experience the world is absolute relatable to me!” The way we relate to King’s character is by seeing the world through his eyes and facing the problems he does. It’s about their survival rather than the question if they will grow through the experience. 

The main-character of Misery survives, but at the end he’s still struggling with the injuries inflicted on him as well as with alcoholism to make-up for the pain-medication she forced on him. Hermoine ends up being happy and successful. Now, if we were to switch these around, and Hermoine ended up a miserable alcoholic, I’m not sure she would still have been as much of a comfort-character to teenagers and if the main-character of Misery had remained strong and stubborn through it all and ended up well-adjusted and happy, I don’t think the novel would have packed quite the same punch. Because the intentions behind these characters are different, despite them both being writer inserts.

I think another character who is interesting (in that regard) is Bella Swan from Twilight. Now, Stephanie Meyer never officially said that this is her surrogate, but I want to point something out. This is something she says on her website:

I left out a detailed description of Bella in the book so that the reader could more easily step into her shoes. [...] In my head, Bella is very fair-skinned, with long, straight, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped—a wide forehead with a widow’s peak, large, wide-spaced eyes, prominent cheekbones, and then a thin nose and a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. Her lips are a little out of proportion, a bit too full for her jaw line. Her eyebrows are darker than her hair and more straight than they are arched. She’s five foot four inches tall, slender but not at all muscular, and weighs about 115 pounds. 

Now, this is a photo of Stephanie Meyer:

According to google, she is...5′4. As I said, this is somewhat speculation on my part, but I’m not the first person to point out these similarities. There are so biographical similarities for example that Meyer, raised in Phoenix,  used to feel unpopular at a school and it changed when she moved, according to what I learnt doing a google search on her. 

not like other girls alert

There has already been talked a lot about Twilight and Meyer’s religious origins in the LDS-church (what many people know as Mormon church) and how Bella’s growth and progression as a character and the decisions she makes seem to line up with those in many ways (marriage, family, not aborting a baby that kills her, sex only after the wedding etc.), but since we can speculate in which way or degree Meyer personally shares these ideas and and thinks of them for herself (aka I’m too lazy to google and learn more stuff about Stephanie Meyer), I’m just going to leave the fact that Bella happily attains a very conservative idea of female happiness at the end of her journey (if you disregard the vampire thing).

What I would like to point out is that this character shares a lot of traits with her - physical traits, biography etc. - while at the same time, she says she wanted to leave the character open for the reader to relate to and to identify with her. 

In my last ask on the subject, I talked about the way the third person narrator is thinning out in many novels as a distinct entity and is more and more becoming one with the POV-character. Bella is obviously a first person narrator. Now, you did mention Moby Dick, and we have the same thing here: A first person narrator sharing their experiences with the author. But even the first person narrator is a very distinct entity here. Not that Melville himself makes an appearance, but that Ishmael is very clear about the fact the is telling us a story. Which is how we know he is going survive the journey, because he still there, afterwards, to tell us about his trip.

The famous first sentence of Moby Dick is: “Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.” He makes it clear that this has happened in the past, he talks to the reader directly (call me Ishamel) as if in conversation and then goes on.

He also makes it clear that he is writing about a past events at a different point of events:

“He had been a sailor and a harpooneer in his youth, but for many years past had dedicated his life to the ministry. At the time I now write of, Father Mapple was in the hardy winter of a healthy old age.”

Now, here’s the preface to the first Twilight novel:

“I'd never given much thought to how I would die — though I'd had reason enough in the last few months — but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me. Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something. I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.” 

After this, the first chapter starts and we are immediately with Bella on her way to the airport, she tells us why she is going to Forks, what Forks is, why she is leaving and so on. There are also two points in time here, but they are employed differently and for different reasons:

Bella is constructed in a way for us to relate to her and identify with her - Meyer says that herself that she even held back on talking about her looks in order to make her accessible to the reader - so using a first person narrator opens the door for us. The future point in time in the preface creates suspense - she says she is about to die and that’s what we prepare ourselves for during the story (even if we assume she might survive after all, we know she will be in danger and we know that she will sacrifice herself for someone she loves).

Moby Dick has a first person narrator, because it’s Ishmael writing down his story for us to read. On a technical level, we take his perspective, but we are provided with an in-story reason for the first person narrator. And while we can at least speculate that Bella might die, if we know nothing else about the franchise or the genre when we encounter that preface, we also know from the first sentence on that Ishmael is going to survive, because ‘he’ has written down this story for us. And by giving an in-story reason for a first person narrator, the story is already closing the door a little by saying: ‘this is a distinct character and you are reading his story, that’s why it uses I/me pronouns’. 

Now, I already mentioned that I found it interesting that JK’s self insert is a pupil rather than a teacher and that she is younger than JK. The same thing happens with Bella the Meyer-look-alike: She is a student and pupil, like the target audience, going through experiences that Meyer did in her youth. And for her as well, things work out. She is a principled character, finds friends, boys fight over her and she ends up finding an immortal, perfect, beautiful family she becomes part of. 

Beauty is an interesting thing in Twilight, btw, in my opinion. The way Meyer describes Bella (literally named Beauty and aftera Bird symbolising Beauty), she is quite good-looking with some ‘flaws’, like her lips being ‘too full for her face’. Now, there is nothing wrong with having full lips, obviously, but Meyer says ‘a bit too full for her face’ and I think this is already part of the typical traits of an open-door author-insert in my opinion: They are a little it ‘too’ this or ‘too’ that to be perfect models, but they’re also rarely described as actually ugly. Hermoine has teeth that are too long (magicked away after that teeth growing accident) and is always mentioned to have ‘bushy hair’. Bella is also said to be very pale, even comparing herself to an albino (you know, because Meyer went to such length to make her character’s looks relatable to everyone). Pale skin is at odds with the sun-kissed other-girls in Phoenix and symbolises Bella’s otherness in many ways, that she isn’t like what Meyer calls the ‘barbies’.

The fact that pale = beautiful in Twilight and that beauty is important becomes very obvious when dealing with the Cullens:

“And yet, they were all exactly alike. Every one of them was chalky pale, the palest of all the students living in this sunless town. Paler than me, the albino. They all had very dark eyes despite the range in hair tones. They also had dark shadows under those eyes — purplish, bruiselike shadows.As if they were all suffering from a sleepless night, or almost done recovering from a broken nose. Though their noses, all their features, were straight, perfect, angular. But all this is not why I couldn't look away. I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful. They were faces you never expected to see except perhaps on the airbrushed pages of a fashion magazine. Or painted by an old master as the face of an angel. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful — maybe the perfect blond girl, or the bronzehaired boy.”

They are good beautiful - sullen, mysterious. Not bad beautiful: frivolous, talkative, loud, dumb. And they’re also not beautiful with a minor flaw - but beautiful with no flaw. 

Bella Swan acquires that beauty by the end and becomes one of them - once her transformation into a vampire is complete. Hermoine also transforms - and turns from the nerd girl into a confident, strong young woman and played a major role in defeating the people who discriminated against her in her youth. 

I described these sort of characters as open-door characters. They bear strong resemblance to the author in Bella’s case and Hermoine is the declared author-insert for Rowling, but these authors went to extra length to make them accessible to the reader to identify with them. Basically, the author invited the reader to enter that open door. 

The fact that they have positive endings and that the struggles that the reader relates to are dissolved (satisfying or not) provides comfort. I already mentioned that with the whole thing that is going on with Rowling, a lot of people write about their own experiences with Harry Potter. And I’ve not seen people write: “I liked these books because the characters solved their problems like I did or because I, too, grew up to be happy” - they say they related in their darkest time, when they were feeling down and when there were no solutions to their problems in sight. These characters are designed to offer hope and advice and remind you that these traits you share with them or that you assume you share with them are good and something to be proud of and they tell you that you can succeed. I already said that it would have been very dissatisfying if Hermoine had ended up like Paul Sheldon. Even worse if they had actually been killed off: Basically, that would have been the equivalent of the author inviting the reader through that open door and then hitting them over the head with  a hammer. That would have been...kafkaesk.

Heh. Transitions.

You already mentioned Kafka’s tendency to kill off his main-characters. With Kafka, things are always quite complex and there are so many different interpretations and takes on his work and its meaning. It’s important to keep in mind that he is a modernist and the reader is ‘invited’ to actively interpret the text, figure things out, make sense of things and notice contradictions. 

Metamorphosis can easily be concluded to draw on Kafka’s own problems with his family and his father. His works are always filled with obstacles that are both insurmountable and banal, drawn from reality and yet surreal. Nothing hits home like reading Der Prozess or Das Schloss while you’re too mentally slouched to deal with the last ten incomprehensible letters you got from your local Verbandsgemeindeverwaltung. „Die Fessel der gequälten Menschheit sind aus Kanzleipapier,” indeed, Franz, indeed. (”The chain of the tormented human race are made of office paper”)

I wanted to look at Metamorphosis specifically, because for one, it’s one where it’s most easily arguable that family situation very closely resembles Kafka’s own. Also I already mentioned that the open-door author-inserts usually undergo a transformation (did I already mention that this is the age of super-heroes?) of some form. There is an old debate over whose metamorphosis Die Verwandlung is actually about - Gregor Samsa’s or that of his sister? While Samsa wastes away, his sister turns into a strong young woman - much like Bella or Hermoine. And yet many people see her betrayal of Gregor as the 'big’ one, the ultimate act of betrayal that destroys Gregor and of her even as the actual villain of the story rather than the father. There is also the general metamorphosis of his relationships- for example his sister’s social position in the family is better now that Gregor is an insect and his father has far more power over him than before.

Gregor Samsa has very relatable fears, concerns and anxieties: He has a hard job and he does it to support his family. He yearns for the love of his family. This is something a lot of people can relate to. After he turns into the Ungeziefer, he not only learns that his family had savings, they also treat him worse and worse now that they he is no longer feeding them.

If we consider Gregor Samsa as an open-door character - someone sharing similarities with the author who has been designed to be accessible for the reader to relate to - we also have to ask ourselves: Is he a comfort character? A comforting message would be if he fought back, found someone who loved him even in his Ungeziefer-form and he had built a life for himself somewhere.

But Samsa doesn’t fight back, he desires his family’s love no matter how badly they treat him and until he wastes away after his sister says he needs to go. Samsa's story isn’t about growth or learning or overcoming obstacles. He is constantly wasting away - so if we consider him a character open to project ourselves on, he’s not one intended to be comforting because that’s not the point of the story. His love for his family is not some secret super-power that overcomes all difficulties, it’s his weakness.

His situation is also not an every day situation like going to school - it’s a highly surreal one being turned into an Ungeziefer. He gets turned into a strange creature, he is confined into a single room etc. I already mentioned that Kafka had a tendency to erase certain information while editing his works - for example, an earlier draft of The Castle contained K. musing: ‘In this way I was fighting not the others but rather myself”, but Kafka took it out for the reader to come to that conclusion. And with a situation like Samsa’s, we can also make up our own mind about who his struggle is with and what everything means and - if we identify with him - what our Ungeziefer-state is, what our Lady in Fur is, what our Abstellkammer would look like, who our father is and sister etc..

But the whole thing is - you don’t read Kafka because his characters are so fascinating. He didn’t want them to be complex and fascinating. He went out of his way to make them less so and you already said, it’s pretty much the opposite of a character like Hermoine. It goes very deep into the realm of speculation which author based which traits of what character on themselves for what reasons or if it was voluntary or not, but I think the way people do it has a lot to do with genre, writing style, audience etc. and I thing right now is a time where a lot of fiction is all about making a change, growing having happy ends. If you look around tumblr for writing advice, sad endings are often criticised as cynical, edgy and depressing. People complain about gritty characters. Wholesome escapism is simply very popular right now and that’s why self-inserts, imo, are going to be wholesome and escapist. But specifically when talking about self-inserts, a wholesome positive self-insert is going to collide with the expectation that such self inserts are bad writing.

I also think big names play a role. JKR is a big name in fiction and Harry Potter is a big deal for our generation - the “read a different book!” meme pretty much illustrates the huge monopoly Harry Potter has for us. I’d argue that Harry Potter, while not a self-insert, also has a lot of Mary Sue traits, but because he’s a male character and not Rowling’s self-insert, he already escapes quite a lot of criticism. I’m pretty sure if Harry Potter had a female main-character, there would have been much more criticism, especially if the main-character had publicly said that this was her self-insert. 

If you think about the works of Mann and Melville and Kafka, these are classics today, so they aren’t really subject to the trend of being wholesome and heroic. And King is a brand of himself, by himself and his name stands for a certain brand of fiction and a certain style of writing and a certain type of characters.

Twilight has become an acceptable thing to dislike, because it was liked by teenage girls (so the dudebro fraction likes it) and it’s restrictive and conservative and pretentious enough for its own fans to outgrow and no longer defend it. People did criticise the main-character especially, for being bland, helpless, only caring about her bf etc. but I think if Twilight had never taken off the way it did, it would have been forgotten among many other cheesy love stories. But it hit the right nail a the right time, took off and then the wind abruptly changed and people specifically disliked this kind of character and found it ‘cringy’ - I actually wanted to say something on the subject of cringe-culture but I forgot, but let it be said, I think it also plays a big role that being cringy has become such a big crime and that a self-insert means that you can accuse the author themselves of being cringy so that too might influence the opinions on making self-inserts. 

Either way, I think it has a lot to do with this sort of immunity timeless classics have and also with genre - because it puts a YA-hero spin on the self insert and those are usually characters who are in the same age bracket as the intended audience, have similar problems (romance) etc. and usually these stories have a happy end as well.