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yourmidnightlover · 4 years ago

Text

never go back

Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.

TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,724

A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.

masterlist

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there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.

your boyfriend was not one of those things.

mostly because your boyfriend sucked.

it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.

he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.

there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.

any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.

he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.

when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.

and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.

after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.

you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.

it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.

it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.

because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.

even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.

spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.

now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.

but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.

he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.

hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.

but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.

he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.

and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.

but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.

spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.

so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.

"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"

"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.

"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.

"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.

"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.

"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."

"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.

there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.

"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.

"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.

"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.

"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."

"then do something," you demanded.

spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.

"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.

"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.

"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.

as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.

"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.

he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.

"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.

"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."

"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."

"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.

his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.

"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.

"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."

"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.

you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...

"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.

his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.

"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"

"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.

"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.

"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.

"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.

"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.

"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.

"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.

"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."

you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.

"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.

"sp-spence-"

"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.

"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.

"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"

"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.

"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.

"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.

"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"

"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"

"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"

that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.

"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."

"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"

"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.

"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.

"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.

"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."

"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.

this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.

"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"

"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.

driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.

*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*

you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.

he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.

you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.

"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."

he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.

after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.

"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."

you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.

"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.

"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."

"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"

"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.

"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.

"who is this asshole? what the hell-"

"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.

and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.

taglist:

@muffin-cup @greenprisca @averyhotchner

#dom!spencer #smut #spencer x you #spencer x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #cheating

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the-grim-squeaker-8 · 2 years ago

Note

Ya got an oc thoughts to share today?

Lots of thoughts. [wall of text incoming]

I made a(nother) Wanderhome character I have no one play to with. She's a crow, self-proclaimed Lady Thief, detests being called a cheat or a monster, and wears a black cloak and a mask and an ostentatious belt and carries around a deck of playing cards.

Her name is Sparkle.

She is a fugitive from the law, falsely accused of cheating at cards and high treason, and rightly accused of grand larceny and lying under oath. She has a secret about the king she's not supposed to know, and she used to have a shiny necklace she got from a noble but it's been stolen from her.

…You can guess which of these things she is upset about.

Magicalgirlverse is getting rotated fairly constantly but I'm reluctant to talk about the current storyline thats actually been rotating in my mind for the last few weeks because like. Do I want to put that in public where the internet can judge me. Even if that wasn't an issue, is it something all my friends would want to hear about. Do I even want this to be canon???

But I have no self control, so anyway. This one time I was trying to take a nap and ended up thinking about that Welsh myth where a guy makes a woman out of flowers to be a wife for his nephew and she cheats on him and plots with her boyfriend to murder him and the family turns her into an owl as punishment, and this urban fantasy series I read as a teenager where one of the protagonists finds out she's an artificial human who was created by the big bad (which I definitely remember being a it/its cloud of evil and not, like, a guy) to be its bride and the mother of its child, but her dead mom rescued her as a baby and fed her magic flowers so instead of being evil and into this she was a normal person who refused, also I think her foster mom turned out to be a previous failed attempt at creating a bride and was trying to kill her out of jealousy?

And I was like "these two stories do not address to my satisfaction the tensions inherent in creating a wholeass person to be a custom-order mate and handing them to the kind of person who is okay with that." And I was like "someone somewhere probably has covered it, but what if I did it myself."

And then I was like, "what if Dark Glory (who needed a tragic backstory anyway) was created as a gift for the semi-eldritch god-emperor of space?"

Is this the tone I wanted for my self-indulgent magicalgirlverse? I don't know. Is it in line with the direction I was originally going for with her character? Unclear. Does it feel kind of mean? Yes. But, is it dramatic and works really well with some of her established relationships (like Shadow refusing to address his feelings towards her) and has already spun-off into an entire storyline with fun narrative parallels and a whole other oc I'm not ready to let go of? Also yes.

Basically what if she voluntarily spent time in the god-emperor's custody and experiences the emotional equivalent of when working dogs finally get to experience the job they were born for and this is the happiest and most fulfilled anyone has ever seen her and she doesn't regret the friends she made when she ran away but also it's okay and you don't need to worry about her. :)

So then I have to figure out how to show her that this is still a bad thing actually. And the answer I came up with is "she finds her predecessor who has been metaphorically gathering dust in a closet this whole time since the emperor lost interest in them and Dark Glory decides living in a gilded cage sucks actually and takes them with her.

I should revisit the plotline where Scythe dies, that was some tasty melodrama. I know Shadow's heart gets stolen him so Scythe give him his, Shadow is like "I didn't ask you to do that and I'm still not obligated to forgive you", and then Scythe gets resurrected and turned evil, but his personality is intact so he's sad about it, dies again and Shadow saves him with his original heart (which he retrieved in the interim) because "maybe I just want you to experience the consequences of your actions did you ever think of that."

This is the problem when all the content exists exclusively in my head, whenever I want I can fast forward to the part where they are finally on speaking (if not hugging) terms.

Also, Shadow crochets. I have no idea how this informs his character or his background as an angsty supervillain I just think it would be cute if he made something out of living darkness for his not-girlfriend.

#oc tag #i definitely didnt spend like a month putting off like two sentences for this post what are you talking about

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miss-smutty · 4 years ago

Text

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 4

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter devastation. It's only so long until your lies are going to catch up to you.

Pairing- Chris Hems x Reader x Liam Hems

Word count- 2,211

Warnings- Smut, swearing, angst, cheating

18+ Only!!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 29th June 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings @longlostinanotherworld

>The Destructive Secret Masterlist<

"No not married but you do know her. You know her really well actually." Chris says while avoiding your gaze purposefully...

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, silence so acute you could hear a pin drop. Liam waiting for an answer, Chris looking at his feet and you looking visibly anxious. Chris had drank way too much and now he was about to let all of your secrets loose. This isn't the way you want Liam to find out, surely Chris wouldn't be so cruel.

"I suppose you're not gonna tell me who it is?"

"Not just yet, see how we go." He looked at you, if he so much as even looked slightly smug you would have slapped him right across his face. Instead you could see the hurt in his eyes, tears welling in the corners. You're both faced with an impossible dilemma, Chris wants you all to himself but doesn't want to lose his brother in the process and you want it all over and done with but don't want to hurt Liam. The latter of both is inevitable but you would take all the blame just so Chris didn't have to lose his brother, given the choice you would lose them both just so that didn't happen.

"Well on that note, I need to go to bed. I've gotta be up early in the morning." You avoid Chris' gaze, you're angry with him but you don't want to cause him more pain.

"Yeah me too. I better get going. Thank you for dinner Y/N, it was lovely."

You risk a short glance at him, you're eyes softening when they meet. The moment broken when Liam speaks, reminding you where you are and who you're with right at this moment in time.

"Are you for real? You're really going to drop a bombshell like that and then leave? Fuck man." Liam runs his hand through his hair, letting air out of his cheeks exasperatedly.

"Sorry bro, I'll save the excitement for another night. I've said too much already." Chris apologises with his eyes as he passes you, his hands twitching by his side's with the need to touch you.

******************

The next morning when you wake, your heart sinks knowing all the turmoil you're going to have to go through just to make it to the hotel without being spotted. All the messing about and hiding you have to do, checking in under a false name at different times. Making sure nobody follows you to the hotel and especially no one follows Chris. Getting caught checking into the same hotel would be dreadful, it wouldn't take a genius for the press to put two and two together, they wouldn't even care if it was true or not as long as they sold copies.

"Right babe, I'm ready to go." You pull your suitcase towards the door, stopping to wrap your arms around Liam.

"Have a good time, I'll see you soon." Wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and lifting your feet from the ground in a squeezy hug. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, bye babe."

"Bye. Love you. Let me know when you get checked in." He kisses you goodbye before watching you leave.

"Will do, Love you." You say over your shoulder, climbing into your silver, Audi convertible.

This is the part you hate the most, the part that made you question whether it was all worth it. It was, of course or you wouldn't be doing it, you wouldn't put yourself through having to pretend to be somebody else and praying your not caught by anyone. It only takes one person to notice you and Chris in the same hotel and it's over. You imagine having an affair is hard work whatever your circumstances but when your boyfriend and your lover are as famous as they are it becomes impossible. It's terrifying.

You spent the car journey constantly checking your mirrors and making sure you weren't being followed. A huge sunhat and even bigger sunglasses covering your face as your heart beated faster than you thought was possible. A couple of laps around the hotel, making doubly sure you weren't being followed before you finally pulled into the carpark.

You had to constantly think, you couldn't let your guard drop for even a moment and it was exhausting. You were ready for it to be over and done with now, this just isn't fun anymore. Maybe you could run away together and start a new life somewhere else. Which one would you pick though? Who are you ready to give up? Would there even be an option to choose? Would Liam even be willing to forgive you if he knew you were sleeping with his brother? In love with his brother.

Your heart beating out of your chest, your fight or flight well and truly kicking in now as you walk up to the front desk. If there's any recognition in the receptionists eyes you're ready to turn right around and leave. The girl behind the desk, with long blonde hair has her eyes on the computer In front of her, thankfully not paying you much attention as you stand and wait for her to finish.

"Hi I'd like to book a room for two nights please." You stutter nervously, subconsciously checking over your shoulder while you spoke.

"Of course, is it just for yourself?"

"Yes please, I'm just here for a work conference. I'd like a double bed if possible though, I haven't been able to sleep in a single since I was young." You giggle nervously, embarrassed that you'd told her information she isn't even slightly interested in.

"No problem, I'll see what I have for you." Her eyes barely left her computer as she spoke, she definitely didn't recognise you. The tension in your muscles relaxed a little as your eyes scanned the lobby.

"What name is it please?" She asked, one of the moments you'd been dreading. You hate lying but luckily you'd already come up with the fake name you were using, one you'd already used many times before in the exact same situation. It never gets any easier.

"Jessica Crawley." The names tumbled from your lips, names that had absolutely no meaning to you.

"Room 101, floor 5. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No thank you, that's great." The overwhelming feeling of relief at completing step one without any problems, rushes over you. Adrenaline spiking, making your legs feel like jelly.

"You're welcome, enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions." The girl says, smiling sweetly at you before going back to her work.

The elevator seemed to take forever to make its way down to you, your feet shuffling as you watched the numbers above the door, counting down. The overwhelming need to get to privacy and away from the many prying eyes of the people in the lobby was severe. Most were business men and women, that were so consumed in themselves they weren't paying special attention to anyone around them. There were also young couples, making their way through the lobby, probably on their way for lunch but the people that worried you the most were the random loners sat in the armchairs scattered around the lobby. They'd chosen the perfect place to watch, some pretending to read newspapers while their eyes discreetly scanned over the top.

They were much more inquisitive, much like yourself they paid more attention to the people around them. People watchers you liked to call them, these are the sorts of people that make you nervous. They see everything, noticing any minor details, you'd spent a lifetime perfecting 'people watching' which is how you knew to be wary. You could pretty much judge a person's personality just by watching them for a couple of minutes. If anyone was to spot you it would be one of these people. You felt thankful you weren't Chris, there is absolutely no way he was going to make it to the elevator without being seen at least once.

*******************

Chris didn't feel quite as nervous as you, this was a every day occurance in his life, avoiding paparazzi was near impossible for him. As long as you weren't seen going in to the hotel then it wouldn't matter about him being seen. Still, he'd worn his baseball cap and sunglasses to at least try and hide his identity. He wasn't nervous about being seen but more about having to face you after his fuck up last night. Now that thought was way more intimidating to him.

Casually strolling into the hotel, he tried to ignore the whispers of the people around him. People questioning if it was really him, young girls barely out of high school giggling at the sight of him. Chris quietly prayed that he would make it up to the room without anyone asking for a photo, not that he usually minded but today all he wanted was to spend every possible minute with you as he could.

The receptionist tried to make a fuss when his identity was confirmed during check in. The pale skin of the same blonde girl who'd checked you in, had turned a rather bright shade of red when she heard Chris' sexy Australian accent. You wouldn't blame her, it still makes you swoon whenever you heard him speak.

"I'm fine honestly, I don't want any special treatment. Actually if I could get away with going completely unnoticed during my stay, I will speak to your boss myself and tell them how accomodating you'd been."

"Oh wow, really? Thank you so much Mr Hemsworth. I will make sure nobody bothers you and if you need anything at all just give me a call, I'll make sure you won't have to leave your room for anything." Chris smiled, pretending not to notice how she seemed to be flirting with him, badly. Tossing her hair over shoulder as she insinuated not so subtly for him to let her know if he wanted any 'special' treatment. Again, you don't blame the girl, infact you would've commended her confidence.

She handed over the keys to the penthouse, watching bright eyed as he walked to the elevator, pulling out his phone as he stepped straight in.

"Hi babe, I've booked the penthouse suite, meet me up there?" Smiling a tight lipped smile at the girl behind the desk, who was still watching him intently as the elevator doors closed.

"Ok, it isn't very inconspicuous staying in the penthouse is it?" You shouldn't be surprised, he does it everytime. You remember the first time you ever saw a penthouse and how amazed you were that it was actually bigger than your own home at the time. That was a memory you shared with Liam, all of your first times had been with Liam, the thought made your heart sink.

"I mean they knew who I was as soon as I walked in, I think it would look more suspicious if I didn't stay in a suite." Chris answered, pulling you from your thoughts.

"I suppose that's true, I'll be up soon." You could hear the sadness in your voice, something you had to snap out of before meeting Chris.

"Good because I can't wait to get my hands on you."

Sinking back onto the spongey mattress of your bed, tiredness washing over you already. The mental exhaustion of constantly having to play games and be on your guard at all times, catching up to you as you're finally alone.

Maybe that's what you need afterall, a chance to be alone to gather your thoughts, to workout your own needs and wants without spreading your attention between the two brothers.

You make a mental list of the pros and cons of both of them knowing deep down if Liam were the one for you, you'd have never have looked twice at Chris. They were so similar in a lot of ways but completely different in others.

Liam was the sweetest man you knew, so gentle and caring, attentive to your every whim and being so young when you first got together he was everything you were looking for.

Now being a woman that has gone through so much trauma in her life that had tainted your soul, darkened it with a lust for more.

Then Chris came along, he was still sweet and caring but less attentive to your needs unless it was in the bedroom. He was cheeky and funny, drop dead gorgeous and oozing manliness effortlessly. He was fire and passion. He was more.

If you let yourself admit it, you wanted excitement, which is how you ended up here in the first place. You didn't want perfect anymore, you wanted a man who could do wrong and then make up for it in the most fulfilling way he knew how. Just thinking about it made your pulse race, Chris had put you through hell last night and now it was time for payback. You imagined Chris only a couple of floors above you, worried about the way you were going to act when you saw him and lord knows how much you're going to make him sweat.

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #smut #x reader #x you #liam hemsworth

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thattiredgradstudent · 2 years ago

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I Just Want to Understand | Steve Harrington x OC

Synopsis: After many failed relationships, Michelle confesses things to Steve

Pairing: Steve Harrington x OC

Trigger Warnings: Drug use, implied cheating, implied/mentioned sexual content, hurt?/comfort, discussions of sexuality

Word Count: 668

AN: Confession, I haven't even watched beyond season 2 ep 1. I just read a lot of fanfics. Literally, I just 'met' Max and Billy, so this is just me winging it. So apologies in advance for anyone being out of character.

Honestly I, feel like any time I post something, I always have the disclaimer of I haven't posted anything in a while so don't judge me too harshly but again, it's been a few months, but writing has been helpful lately. And I don't really know what deserves a trigger warning and what doesn't? I'm trying here. This is one of those self-indulgent fics because I have been a mess with my sexuality and this slightly me processing it.

OH - and I didn't edit this beyond what google docs said was wrong.

“Okay wait, I think I know how to explain this better.” I grabbed the blunt from Eddie needing something to calm the pounding in my chest.

Steve was sitting in front of me, very confused and trying very hard not to freak out. Robin was next to me on the shore, and Eddie was laying a few feet away on a blanket. After having overheard me telling Robin how I didn’t want to have sex, things became a lot more complicated than I anticipated a lake trip with my friends being.

“So you know how you and Robin like boobs? And Eddie likes “ -both, i like both” Eddie cut me off and winked at either Robin or Steve, possibly both of them before I continued, “right, and Eddie likes boobs and dick. But you can acknowledge when a guy is just, conventionally attractive? Like Kurt Russel or Tom Cruise, but you don’t want to have sex with either of them.”

Steve slowly nodded and Robin gave me a small reassuring smile

“Okay, well. I don’t like either. Boobs or dick. But I want to date dick. No. Wait, that came out wrong. I want to be with you Steve…I just don’t want, well, more that I don’t care about having sex.” I had a hard time explaining it myself. But when everyone was talking about who was hot and who was hooking up with who, I just never got it. The few times I had hooked up with someone, it just didn’t feel right. I never felt the things my friends described, I just was stressed and confused as to how I was supposed to act.”

I was shaking and struggling to keep my voice steady. I hadn’t actually gone into detail about how I felt, but Steve and I had been dating for almost a year now and there was only so long I could go before I had to tell him, so mine as well do it when it is a slightly less awkward moment. I didn’t want to keep things a secret.

“So you don’t want to have sex, at all?” Steve clarified and I nodded, “but we…did you, did you not want to?” While I wasn’t around for it, Robin filled me in on Steve’s relationship with Nancy and how much he cared, probably loved, her, and how those feelings weren’t reciprocated, so this moment was sending him into a spiral.

“No no no, Steve it’s not like that. I don’t feel sexual attraction. I don’t look at someone and think about having sex with them. But, fuck why is this so hard, I still get turned on? I still can enjoy things. I just could also go without them?”

We all sat in silence for a few minutes before Eddie said he was to smoke and practically dragged Robin with him.

“You’ve never wanted to have sex with me?” Steve asked again, much quieter this time.

“No. I guess, no I haven’t.” I pulled my knees to my chest trying not to cry. I’d seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending. Whether it was immediately or a few days, each guy left, so it was only a matter of time.

You’re great, but I just don’t see this going anywhere

I just don’t see us working out, maybe if you put more effort into the relationship it would have been better

I mean come on, if you weren’t going to fuck me I was going to find someone who would

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Steve, I’m sorry, I should have. But we were taking things slow, and then who whole mess with Vecna, it just never was necessary. I get if you want to,”

“Don’t you dare say end things.” I couldn’t hide the shock on my face, “Don’t. Please don’t say that. Because I don’t want to end things, I just want to understand.” Steve continued, pushing himself off the blanket to kneel in front of me.

#steve harrington fanfic #stranger things #coming to terms with my sexuality #steve harrington stranger things #asexual #asexual oc

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aesudan-kholin · 3 years ago

Note

For the ask meme. Aesudan.

cracks knuckles

Sexuality Headcanon: luke you specifically know about the way i interpret this. for the rest of you, straight*

Gender Headcanon: aesudan does not really lend herself to gender nonconformity and for that reason i think she is cis, but i haven't like tried to see all the angles on it like i haven't had late nights or spent more than 10 minutes thinking about her gender in my waking hours. i think if she wasn't cis she wouldn't really know or care enough about it to change how she presents. the dream i had where she was trans notwithstanding because she was one of many including the big man himself

A ship I said with said character: who the fuck ships aesudan like honest to god question. i know there was one person in the aesudan tag like 4 years ago who shipped her with elhokar. one day i will get around to inventing men for her to have affairs with in my little headcanon world or boyfriends pre marriage but those aren't Ships they're just worldbuilding

A BROTP I have with said character: elhokar pre gavilar death... i mean their relationship (IN MY HEAD like i could talk about speculation using knowledge we have about their relationship pre gavilar death but this is just my inner headcanon world where everything is how i want it) is not necessarily Healthy but they do rely on and lean on each other a lot and they do do friend things. so probably that. i've toyed around with lalai (Lalai. not ialai.) and her being besties but i haven't developed any of it

A NOTP I have with said character: elhokar/aesudan. listen i know this might sound like then reading about her in any effect would be unpleasant since they're married but actually its really not cause like. they're so??????????? whatever they are. they're not close like that. elhokar doesn't know her circa oathbringer like At All cuz he's so flabbergasted by all these things that she's been doing for Years. the only scene they have together is them arguing (and in the row prologue navani is briefly like oh look aesudan is talking to elhokar For Once instead of other men). even more than what was maybe supposed to be implied cheating circa row prologue. they just. I DONT KNOW!! THEYRE JUST FUNNY!!! other than elhokar like i dont give a shit if you shipped her with anyone else in the world. i swear i saw someone at one point talk about aesudan/jasnah and i laughed my head off but like if it floats your boat man!!! WAIT I DO HAVE ONE MORE THING callout post to my tomodachi life save for trying to get dalinar and aesudan together like 3 times

A random headcanon: she internally promised herself not to let elhokar name their child after he named his horse Vengeance. also she draws Stylized Art like she's the kid in middle school art class who gets told to stop drawing anime by the teacher and she goes "No 🖤" and keeps turning in "referenced" pictures of anime guys for every assignment. but she's on roshar and anime doesn't exist so basically she draws but she just didn't start with the fundamentals so her drawings look Cool but also Off like in the anatomy or whatever. but elhokar who likes art but doesn't have a Refined Eye for it goes crazy for it since everything else he sees is realism

General Opinion over said character: thats a big question. she is Bad and i will be the first to point out her flaws because i know all her sins that have been talked about. i love her though cheer every time she's on screen or mentioned like YES!!! CAUSE PROBLEMS!!!! i dont think i need to elaborate i trust that you guys understand and/or comprehend liking a character without condoning their actions. i like that i basically have her to myself because while some people in the world also give a shit about elhokar, no one gives the shit about aesudan. im the only mf out here as far as im aware, and i have scowered internet spaces for people talking about aesudan. i have this message i wrote from march 2021 which haunts me which reads "i wonder if anyone out in the world genuinely cares about aesudan". its you. you do.

#thanks luke for the ask #my posts #ask #unmade magnet #long post #i should tag those

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ettadunham · 6 years ago

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A Buffy rewatch 3x17 Enemies

aka bad break-ups

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And today’s episode finally brings Buffy and Faith’s relationship to a breaking point, in all of its subtextual glory. Meanwhile, I kept rewinding as I tried remembering where the layers of deception started, and the “they don’t know that we know that she doesn’t know that we know” games ended.

And I guess the honest answer is that I still don’t know. The episode doesn’t really end with a flashback answering at what point did the characters realize that something was off… But that’s also part of the fun, as one tries to look for the small signs they could’ve noted as well.

First of all, let’s just all acknowledge this delightful outfit:

We’re entering the stage of truly iconic Willow looks, folks.

Anywho, back to the Fath/Buffy/Angel mind games

Not to toot my own horn and say I told you so (like some characters), but by the end of the episode, I once again got stuck on the deliberate parallel drawn between Angel and Faith as Buffy’s love interests. It’s no coincidence that Buffy asks for a break between her and Angel just when her relationship with Faith has completely fallen apart.

During this rewatch I definitely got the impression that Buffy’s decision there was more of a result of where the whole thing with Faith left her emotionally, than Angel pretending to be bad for the episode. His betrayal was fake and pre-agreed upon. Faith’s was real and devastating.

I guess there’s also a weird BDSM theme here with the comments they make around the chains… So if we roll with that, the comparison is that Buffy and Angel had their safe words there. With Faith… not so much.

To drive the point home that Buffy’s conflict here is with Faith, and this is all about that broken trust, let’s also look at the scene between her and Willow, where she’s talking about seeing Faith and Angel together the night before.

Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking and no way! Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that. Willow: Faith would totally do that.

We again see here Willow’s clear dislike of Faith, which I find especially fun as we also have Xander voicing some of his classic anti-Angel sentiments in the same episode. I do hope that I’ll have the energy to delve a bit more into that a few episodes from now.

But more importantly, look at Buffy’s line. Her response to the idea of Angel and Faith getting it on isn’t that Angel wouldn’t do that. (Remember, Angel, her boyfriend, the one who’d be cheating on her?)

It’s Faith wouldn’t do that. Faith wouldn’t do that to her.

The conclusion one can draw from that is that either she doesn’t trust Angel to begin with, or that her trust and faith in… well, Faith, is much more important to her right now. Personally? I’m leaning towards the latter.

There’s once again a lot of innuendos as well. (That we’re calling subtext for some reason, even though the sexual and romantic undertones are essentially textual at this point…) Like after Buffy and Angel come out of the movie theater, all full of pent up sexual frustration, and Faith shows up to steal Buffy away literally saying “Don’t worry big guy, just keeping her warm for you”.

I’m…

Faith: *does or says something that defines her relationship with Buffy in an undeniably sexual / romantic way*

me:

And then when they meet up at the library afterwards, and Faith does her usual routine of calling Buffy “girlfriend”, and is all touchy with her… Buffy shies away from her touch, and the rest of the Scoobies note how chilly the atmosphere suddenly became.

All that is to say that while Angel plays a prominent role in how this episode unfolds, and the parallel raised between him and Faith aren’t just serving the theme of Buffy’s relationships with them, but both of their characters as well… The real conflict itself plays out between Buffy and Faith, with all of its subtextual and romantic undertones that the show is once again leaning into.

It’s a break-up. It’s Buffy and Faith breaking up. That’s what’s happening here.

Something that I was struggling with however, is pinpointing where Buffy or even Angel and Giles started suspecting that there was something else going on with Faith. When Faith goes to Angel first, I was still unsure on where he was coming from, so I kept looking for signs that he was already reading her intentions. In retrospect though, I assume that Angel’s reactions there were actually genuine, despite Faith laying it on all pretty thick.

On the other hand, she also appeared with bloody hands after killing sympathetic demon guy who tried to help against the Mayor. So that was probably a dead giveaway once Buffy and Angel started putting two and two together.

With Buffy herself, there’s a pretty great little detail that happens when she and Faith discover dead demon guy in his apartment. (Which I wish I noticed myself, but was pointed out to me by someone else.)

Faith reaches into the other room for the light switch, not even looking, and Buffy sees her doing it. She completely gives away herself and the fact that she was in this apartment before, and the show smartly doesn’t draw our attention to it.

So when Buffy afterwards comments about how the way the demon guy was killed was ‘somebody’s idea of a party’, I couldn’t help wondering if that was a pointed jab at Faith. To get a reaction out of her and confirm whether or not she was involved.

Still, I remained unsure as we actually get the scene between Buffy and Willow after this happens. It’s also implied that Buffy hasn’t actually talked to Angel about what she saw between him and Faith the other night at that point, so they haven’t yet had the chance to cook up their Faith reveal plan.

On the other hand, she’s talking to Willow here, and we find out later that Buffy, Angel and Giles were all keeping their suspicions and the plan a secret from the rest of the Scoobies. So she wouldn’t have told that Willow quite yet either way.

Willow also comments about Buffy being “on edge”, which once again points to her probably thinking about Faith going rogue already here.

I do believe that Buffy’s “Faith wouldn’t do that” line is genuine though, even in that case. Buffy still wants to believe in Faith, even if they’re preparing for the worst.

So when Angel and Faith show up in her room, part of her must be devastated as the confirmation of Faith’s betrayal sinks in. As well as just being on edge, knowing what’s coming.

And what’s coming is a whole lot of classic posturing and sexual innuendo from Faith’s part, as she’s tempting Buffy with making out with Angel in front of her just to spite her (we already established which of their betrayals sting for Buffy more…), and being very up-close and personal with a supposedly chained up Buffy.

There’s a lot more going on in this scene of course, with Faith somewhat sarcastically rambling about her horrible childhood, and Buffy delivering some pointed jabs about being better than Faith, or Faith only being able to turn Angel to her side with a magic. We once again see proof of just how low and fragile Faith’s self-esteem actually is, and how easy it is to hurt her, despite what she claims.

I guess Faith’s speech about how she constantly felt inferior to Buffy is especially worth repeating:

Faith: You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm the Slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave, I do the good little girl routine. And who's everybody thank? Buffy. Buffy: It's not my fault. Faith: Everybody always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy? But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me? Angel: I know I didn't. Faith: You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat. This is supposed to be my town!

It’s one of those lines, where you’re not exactly sure how much the character actually believes of what they’re saying. Faith putting on Buffy the fact that she was unable to connect especially rings false, when you think about just how hard Buffy worked to have that connection with Faith.

But there’s also no denying in that Faith feels like the world let her down. And that includes Buffy. Because despite Buffy’s best efforts, she could never take Faith’s side unconditionally. She could never be just like her.

Buffy doesn’t have the luxury of losing herself in someone else, or to choose them over her responsibilities. (Well, I guess we’ll have to re-examine that in a few seasons from now though…) She needed Faith to meet her halfway, but Faith was already too far gone to turn around for that.

But hey, at least Faith’s got a new apartment out of the deal as of last episode. Evil does take MasterCard I guess.

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

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jisunwithtaeandkookie · 6 years ago

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Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.10

Summary: Your close friend Taehyung, shares a secret with you, a big secret: You have had a crush on Jimin for the past 6 years. But what he doesn't know is that you have done something bigger than that, something that could destroy many people's lives in seconds. That's a secret for you to keep. But something even bigger is floating in the air: what you have done could destroy BTS's friendship forever...but that's a secret even you don't know yourself.

Pairing: Reader × Jimin/Taehyung ft. Other Members

Genre: Angst

¡Warning!: Mentions violence as a subject.

A/N: PLEASE READ THE STORY FROM THE START, OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO SPOIL THE STORY FOR YOURSELF!!

"Did you hear him or not? Answer!!"

I flinched at Tae's words again, as if I was not wincing already from the pain in my hand.

"Tae..." Jimin said, only to be cut off by Tae. "Hyung, you don't understand!! She is playing with you...she didn't love you at all." He gave me a cold look.

"Tae...I'm sorry. I really-"

"Just shut up and answer what is asked of you," He turned to Jimin. "I'll tell you the gist by the way...since smartypants over here is trying to think of another lie to come up with."

"Tae..I didn't mean to hurt you, I-"

"And there it is." He smirked. "So, basically, she just lied about having a crush on you so that she could get closer to me...her real crush, apparently." He looked back at me with narrowed eyes.

"What..?" Jimin whispered slowly.

"But if only that was it." He glared at me, his grip on my hand not faltering for a second. "If only it was as simple as that. But no...here you are, kissing hyung, and I don't know what to make of a girl like you."

Tears fell freely from my eyes; all boundaries had been broken. Yes, here I was. Standing in the middle of the two people I did not want to lose at any cost, and whom I had already lost.

"Y/N...is it true?" Jimin asked slowly...looking down.

"Jimin, I-"

"Yes, or no." He was still looking down, impatience visible on his features.

I stifled a sob as it was about to escape my mouth. "Jimin, please, I-"

"YES, OR NO???" He yelled.

I gasped, absolutely terrified. I had never seen Jimin like this. He was scary when he was angry. I had never seen him angry before.

"....yes." I hung my head down, giving up. Tears kept falling from my eyes; by now I was indifferent to them falling.

Jimin said nothing, he didn't even look at me. "Tae....leave her hand."

Tae was angry enough himself to listen to Jimin, but there was something in Jimin's voice that made him comply. He dropped my hand out of his grasp. Somehow, that hurt more than him actually hurting me.

"Jimin, I..." I started but he held a hand in front of me, stopping me from speaking any further.

I turned to Tae. Unlike Jimin, he was still looking at me, but his gaze was gut-wrenching. "Tae...I really did-"

"Save it, Y/N." He said slowly. "You know what, I could have forgiven you in spite of all of this. Just because you had loved me above everything, and I also had feelings for you. But no..no, no, no, here you go messing things up, playing not only with his heart..but also with mine, who by the way, is supposed to be your crush."

This was the time for me and Jimin to both turn around and look at Tae.

"What did you say?" Jimin flinched.

"Tae..." A whisper escaped my lips.

I couldn't believe he had loved me all this time. All. This. Time. When I could have saved my lies and cheats...and could have been happy with him together, forever...I was busy hurting everyone around me.

"Y/N-ah!!" A frantic Jungkook entered the door, huffing for breath. "Y/N-ah, I..." He gasped at the scene in front of him. "Y/N-ah, are you okay?" He instantly ran to me and wrapped his arms around me. All the other members entered my house at the same moment. But us three were indifferent to this; Jimin and Tae were still glaring at each other, and I was still looking at Tae with a shocked expression on my face.

"What did you say, Tae?" Jimin said again, slowly. Something about his slow tone made me shiver.

"That I love her." He looked at me. "Loved her."

I sobbed, and Jungkook held me tighter. I couldn't take it anymore. It was getting unbearable.

"How long?" I was amazed at how calm and dangerous Jimin could sound at the same time. I looked at him; he still never looked at me.

"All these years." Tae whispered. I gasped. Jungkook held me tighter. "It's okay." He whispered in my ear.

Jimin laughed. "And we were supposed to share everything."

"Yes, hyung. We were." Tae gave him a look.

"At least I kept it well hidden."

"I didn't tell her either. In case you didn't notice, she was surprised by my confession."

"Yeah, but I didn't hit her."

Tae looked at me, anger overshadowing guilt. "I never meant to. But she was hurting you, hyung."

"That's supposed to be my business!" Jimin seethed, stepping towards Tae. "You're not supposed to hit her for that."

"Oh..I'm sorry." Tae laughed sarcastically. "I will not try to look out for you ever again. Is this what you want, hyung?"

"Is that supposed to be a joke, Taehyung?"

"Now, now...Tae, Jimin, calm down." Jin came in between to mediate. "We'll talk this through, okay? Calmly."

"I am as calm as I can be on this topic, okay??" Tae said, obviously trying to suppress his anger. "I told you hyung...I told you...loving her was not a good idea."

The words rang like bullets in my head. I closed my eyes.

"So, you knew?" Jimin looked at Jin with his head cocked to the side. Jin didn't say anything, looking at me who had left Jungkook's arms in spite of his protest, and then everyone else.

"At least I told someone." Tae clenched his teeth.

"I told Yoongi hyung too." Jimin narrowed his eyes.

Everyone looked at Yoongi, who threw his hands up in the air. "Yes, I knew..and yes, I didn't tell anyone.. because I thought it was nobody's business."

"We can see that pretty well here," Hoseok said with his arms crossed. "No one is supposed to keep secrets as big as these...and how long has this been going on? The whole 6 years? And we call ourselves a group?"

I heard Namjoon sigh, and I couldn't feel guiltier.

"If I recall correctly, it all started with a joke." Tae gave Jungkook a stern look. Jungkook hung his head.

"It was all my idea." He said, ever so slowly.

A gasp escaped from everyone's mouths.

"So...you knew everything about it from the start." Jimin said, looking at Jungkook.

"Yeah. I did." He whispered. "It all did start as a joke. I never expected it to get this serious."

"Jungkook!" Jimin grabbed Jungkook's shirt, stepping ahead. "Is my life a joke to you? Are my feelings a JOKE, JUNGKOOK???" He gripped Jungkook's shirt harder, pulling him fiercely.

"Hyung..." Jungkook whispered, tears brimming in his eyes, threatening to fall down.

"Jimin." Jin held Jimin and led him away from Jungkook. "Violence is not the answer here."

"Kookie.." I whispered, looking at him. He stood there like an obedient kid who is standing in front of their parents, having done something wrong for the first time in his life. His head was down the whole time.

"Then what is, hyung?" Tae screamed. "What is the answer? Tell me, because I for one sure don't know what the hell to do with this kind of person here." He looked at me. I winced again under some invisible force.

Jin looked at me softly. "Hear her out."

Both Jimin and Tae scoffed at the same time, but didn't say anything. Jin encouraged me to go on. "Y/N...go on, explain."

I wanted to...it was not like I didn't. But..the thing was, I didn't know what to say anymore. I had lied to and cheated both of them, and I honestly didn't remember getting any reaction that I didn't deserve.

I looked at Jimin. "Jimin, you loving me was the most pleasant thing that could ever happen to me, and I am happy to be the kind of girl who you could easily have loved. I have been one of the luckiest girls of the world, because I got to spend time with you. To become friends with you...to almost start something with you. Because Jimin, the thing is, you truly are special to me."

He didn't move an inch. He still didn't look at me. That hurt.

I looked at Tae. "Tae...I, didn't know you loved me too, otherwise I wouldn't have even lied in the first place. I wanted to be with you, heck, that has been my dream since forever. My heart ached for you, to hear that you loved me was the only thing I have ever wanted. But you never did...you never came close. So I had to do something to get close to you myself...because Tae..you are my everything."

"You used Jungkook's idea for that." Tae said coldly, looking at Jungkook. Jungkook quivered, avoiding his gaze.

"Now go easy on him." Jin looked at Tae. "If you had told her, like I told you-"

"If you were so eager, why didn't you say it yourself?" Yoongi butted in.

"You're one to talk." Hoseok looked at Yoongi. "Because you are pure, right? You have nothing to hide?"

"Hyung..what he did was because of me." Jimin said slowly.

"Hyung, why don't you shut the fuck up?" Tae said.

"Tae, manners." Jin warned him.

He just laughed. "Manners. Like that fucking matters anymore." With one more look at me, he stormed out of my house.

"This much of a thunderstorm going on, without anyone knowing it," Hoseok laughed. "This is BTS people, really beyond the scene. Really good job guys." He stormed out of the room too. Yoongi hesitated for a second, then sighed and left too.

"I bought this for you as a surprise", Jimin came to me, advancing a little box towards me, looking down. "Surprise." Putting the box on the table with a thud and without any look at me, he finally left.

I opened the box. Inside was a pair of large cross-shaped black-and-white earrings.

I broke into tears. It was all...over.

"Y/N-ah, I'm..." I heard Jungkook's broken voice, and looked up. His eyes were full of tears; starting to fall down. He had a look of guilt on his face like I had never ever seen before. "Y/N-ah..." He slowly backed away, finally turning back and running away, sniffing.

Namjoon looked at me. "I should probably go check on him." He said, and sighing, he walked out of the door.

It was only me and Jin now. I looked at him silently as he continued to look at the door. "Do you....believe me?" I asked.

"I..do, but I don't see how that...helps." He looked at me, his expression transfixed at sadness. I had never seen him like this before. His eyes were filled with tears. "But I will protect you, at any cost...if it comes to that. You're a good person at heart, Y/N." He whispered.

"I don't think it is going to." I said, my throat choked up from crying for too long. I was indifferent though. "I doubt we'll be like we were ever again."

He said nothing, returning his gaze back to the door.

"I'm sorry I broke your group." I broke down again. What had I done?

He sighed, and walked out of the door after saying one final sentence.

"I think it was already broken."

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.10

Part 9//Part 10//Part 11

SERIES MASTERLIST

Will it ever be like it used to be? Will the good days come again? If yes, then will it be like before, or is there always going to be a gap between her and the boys? If no, will she ever find peace with what she has done?

Next update coming up on 28th November at 17:30 GMT. Stay updated, and happy reading!

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gabriellapatterson-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Challenge 7 part 2

I sat in a big chair in the women's room flipping through a book called Red Queen that I had found in the library. I was starting to get frustrated at this common trope. A girl whos supposed to be with a boy (i.e in a selection to compete for his hand at marriage) is distracted by some other side boy who she ends up either being endgame with or cheats on boy A with. (i.e getting a crush on said person’s brother). I grumbled as I was starting to get annoyed at Cal and Mare. JUST STICK TO THE RIGHT BOY GIRLS.

I huffed and put the book down before I heard yelling from the outside of the room. It sounded like Ben and Wyatt? I considered getting up to go over and talk to them since it’s not like they can come into the wome- oh they’re in.

“Don’t tell me what I want or don’t want, Wyatt!” Ben yelled. Oh they’re fighting. Does Ben not know where he is? This isn’t really the place to have a fight. I felt like it would be rude to watch but wouldn’t it also be rude to not? To just read a book like nothing at all was the matter?

“What’s even the point of keeping this going when clearly no one wants to? Danielle said herself she barely liked me, that I was fake and annoying and—” My eyebrows furrowed. I didn’t know Danielle that well but she didn’t seem outright mean. It doesn’t seem like something she would mean or at least say without taking back. My eyes shifted over to her for a moment before I decided it would be rude to stare so I looked down at the ground and listened.

““I’m obviously not enough to keep the girls around. Or keep them safe.” He added. He shouldn’t blame himself for that. If he was referencing the attack. No one really could have prevented it, we didn’t know it was coming.

“Half of them left me for other people they met in the palace.” I felt my heart drop as Ben said that next part. If he knew that I liked Wyatt that would mean I was hurting him. I didn’t want to hurt Ben that’s why I hadn’t told anyone and why I wasn’t planning on doing anything with my feelings. I just wanted everything to stay as it was till I left. Wyatt being my friend, us having funny conversations. I didn’t want him to go further away from me nor for us to get any closer in our relationship.

“And one of them wants you,” He added which caused my heart to jump and my eyes to widen. Did Ben know? How did Ben know? Please- just let it be some other selected.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you and Gabriella. How do you think that makes me feel?” My stomach churned as I felt my heart drop again. My face flushed as he had called me out now in front of all of the other selected, he told Wyatt I have feelings for him. I bit down on my bottom lip. Fuck- I didn’t want this. I didn’t even want Wyatt to know let alone for him to find out like this. I breathed a little shaky as I tried to keep myself together.

Don’t respond Gabby, don’t do anything to give yourself away. You can convince them both later that Ben guessed wrong as long as you don’t crack now. I felt a lump in my throat. I wanted to cry. He told Wyatt. There was no way I could put our friendship back together after that. I wanted to run and just bury my face in bed and cry my eyes out until I packed my bags and left.

I never wanted this. I wanted to stay with Wyatt for as long as I could. To laugh and to be happy and not to think about my impending doom in a career I hate to make my mother happy, I be stuck heart broken yet again because of some boy that just didn't want me. Because honestly, I mean who would want me? I’m just some idiot doof who can’t even keep her feelings hidden. I never should have applied for the selection. I should have just stayed home.

Staying home would have been easier. I didn’t have any strong friendships here. I mean I had talked with Ophelia and Viv but they were closer to each other than I was them. Danielle and Darcy seemed nice but I didn’t know how to approach them. Zara seemed content on her own. I like Natalya but here I am alone. The only one I have is Wyatt and now I don’t even have that.

I wanted to just keep my life, but the better version. This was the better version. Here with Wyatt, laughing, having fun, just being together and forgetting about the rest of the world and the mess that was my life.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Wyatt mumbled before he continued, “I didn't— you know I—” Wyatt wouldn’t do that to Ben. Neither of us would. We both cared about him, Wyatt clearly more so, but he was my friend too and I never would intend to hurt him. We hadn't been together in any way that was weird, we’ve just been talking like friends. I’ve been trying so hard to be careful. How did Ben figure it out? Why was he spilling this now?

I looked around, there were guards outside of the room, maids in here. I bet at least one wont be able to hold their tongue. I shifted my attention back to the two of them and made eye contact with Wyatt for just a split second. Don’t back down, don’t look away, don’t get flustered. You need to act like you don’t like Wyatt. You’re not embarrassed to make eye contact.

Wyatt was quickly the first to turn away. “Please, just—” He continued,

“NO,” Ben yelled firmly as he took another step into the room. I bet he still hasn’t noticed where he is. “No just anything! God the one time in your life you do something for yourself it’s with this? The only thing that’ll truly matters besides my coronation during my reign?” That made me feel sour. This? He thought this was the most important thing besides his coronation? I mean not like his whole reign? Controlling the lives of hundreds of thousands of people? That's so much more important than a dating game show.

“If every obstacle is telling me to end the Selection then maybe I should listen. Go be happy. Take your stupid photos and be with anyone you want. I don’t care anymore. Just leave me alone.” Ben said saying everything he never should have said.

Wyatt considered all he had said for a moment before turning, “ okay…” He said and left. Ben watched for a moment before turning to further enter the room then seeing us all and realizing he had just made quiet the scene. He quickly left to go chase after Wyatt. He regretted it that was clear.

I stood up with a huff, pissed. How dare he? How dare he? It was not his right to tell Wyatt that, it was not fair for him to blame Wyatt for my feelings, it was not fair of him to push his problems and his anxiety onto his brother. Ben was being a little shit. I don’t care if he regretted it, he’s a 21 year old not some 10 year old who’s excusable for his bad temper.

I walked out of the women's room each of my steps almost being a stomp. Good thing my ankle was better and I wasn’t in heels because I’m very sure the heels would have snapped from my rage walking. I wanted to fight.

I couldn’t punch or tackle anyone now. I was mad at Ben. I wanted to kick him in the shin, hit him right across the face. Hurt him in some way for payback. I took a deep breath knowing I couldn't.

Even if Ben weren't the prince I’m still old enough that by now I should be able to control my own temper. I need to stop resorting to violence. I went back to my room and changed into one of the swimsuits I had, put a coverup on and made my way to the beach. I hadn’t officially gotten an okay to go swimming again but I was furious and needed to be outside. I needed to hear the waves again which were always so calming for some reason.

I got into the water which was thankful cold against the hot air, I had asked for a surfboard so I had one with me as I went out. I hadn’t really paid attention to the weather outside but the waves were rougher today. Good. I wanted to be thrown around. It would give me something to fight and take my attention off of all of the drama.

After I bit I walked back to the palace. My hair was dripping but I didn’t really mind the cold droplets on my back. As I walked in I felt happy. I felt clean and fresh and a little tired from all of the moving. I’d probably shower then take a nap. Then my eyes caught Ben and it was like 93% of my rage returned. I quickly turned my eyes away to try and just walk by him.

I heard him walk over to me and I knew my escape plan of intimidation and ignoring had failed, “Gabby.” My name sounded horrible in his voice. I didn’t want to hear it. I wish he had kept his mouth shut and let me go on.

I looked up at him still pissed, “Benjamin.”

He glanced away from me for a moment before he returned looking tired. He probably hasn’t gotten much sleep lately, with all the press and now this, fighting with a sibling is horrible too no matter who’s in the wrong. No Gabby, he wronged you, you’re mad at him.

“I only wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said. I had no right to say what I did, especially in front of everyone else.” Great I’m getting some copy and paste apology he can use on every girl.

“Sure,” I rolled my eyes.

I wanted to leave but a question had been hitting at my head, “How'd you figure it out? I figured distancing myself from you would help you get the idea that I wasn't super into you anymore but I don't see the jump from that to Wyatt.”

He ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know. I saw you guys look at each other one day and it sort of... clicked I guess.” I couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for him. I had wronged Ben too. I was here for him. I liked him for a bit too, he must have liked me somewhat or else I wouldn’t still be here. It wasn’t nice of me to go off flirting with his brother.

“I should apologize to you too. What you did really hurt my feelings, especially because I hadn't even told Wyatt how I felt and wasn't planning on it because I liked where we were of just getting to be friends without drama or dealing with the hypothetical ethics of it all, not to mention I'm very sure he just sees me as a friend and I'm not really fond of rejection- anyways I'm getting side tracked-” I mumbled, “-this is why I got blackout drunk a few nights ago.” I sighed then tried to gather my thoughts to properly apologize, “I miss not having to think, but again, anyways even though you were a massive ass you're probably also stressed and having a selected like your brother wasn't a help. I mean I never intended to every do anything with it so you really shouldn't have stressed because I had planned for no one but me to know so it's not like the public would find a way to criticize you for it, but you didn't know that so I individually added to your stress so I'm sorry for that.”

He looked sad at my apology. Why? It was better than his copy paste one, “You don’t have to apologize. I know I was an ass, a huge one. But you- if you guys wanted to be together, maybe not now but…” He looked off to the side before turning his attention back to me, “in the future? You should. I’d only want the both of you to be happy.”

I chuckled a bit finding his careful dealing with the topic a little funny, “Well, I'm very sure he doesn't feel the same way. I'm planning on talking to him later and am fairly sure I can convince him you guessed wrong. Just to let you know so you don't talk to him again about me liking him. It's just easier to not deal with all that other stuff.”

“I know Wyatt. He- well, I’ve revealed enough about him already.” He frowned mostly to himself. I wonder why he’s still so sad? His garbage apology worked. Well probably because his brothers upset at him. “I’ll let you two figure it out.” The hell is that supposed to mean. There’s nothing to figure out.

I paused for a moment before thinking about my rage from earlier, “You're very lucky that you caught me right after I went out, this will probably be the first time since I was eight that I will have been as mad as I was and not ended it in physically fighting someone. To be fair it is normally, highly justified. But fortunately for you, you got to keep your nose not broken unlike the last fellow.”

We talked for a bit longer about my history with violent interactions and outbursts. Really it was just two. I was 10 and like 16 so they weren’t that serious. And I felt justified in both of their cases.

I went up to my room. Washed my hair, then took a nap. I crashed onto the bed and just let everything out. Regardless of Ben’s apology, Wyatt knew now. I wasn’t sure if that was something I could fix. I wasn’t sure if everything had just fallen apart and I’d lost my only friend here. Granted I don’t think I’ll be staying much longer now that Ben knows I don’t like him.

I kept thinking about Wyatt and how much I wanted to stay. How much I liked him and wanted to be with him. But there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t and wouldn’t ruin our friendship, or even risk it.

Plus there was the whole ethics aspect of this. Ben, I would technically be cheating on him if I tried anything with Wyatt. As long as I was in the selection I was supposed to be loyal to Ben. Dating Wyatt would be incredibly risky. I doubt Ben would follow the law and have us executed if we got together, but if anyone else caught us there wouldn’t be a choice in the matter. The people would be livid and you have to listen to the people.

Not to mention this meant I would go home soon. Back to a place where I have to act. Play a character. Someone who hates surfing, a good daughter who wants to learn. A three. Someone with the brains to play the part. To make it through life with a plan. A strict plan. A plan with no fun where I’m stuck working everyday inside some cubical or a classroom. Reading papers, organizing, or color coding. To be my scaredy cat self again who’s too fearful to talk to the people I life. To live my life shut in a cage with no hope of escape.

That or I face the war. I ruin Elliana’s childhood. I turn her into me. Always fighting to keep her family together as her older sister selfishly goes off to follow her passion not giving a damn about the damage she leaves behind her--about her sister who she left behind her. About the wreckage of her parents fighting and screaming behind a shut door but their voices are so loud that the world shakes with each hateful word they throw at each other as you just hope that maybe tomorrow something will change but it never does.

I can’t give that to Ellie. I can’t be Riley. I can’t hurt everyone around me to pursue some stupid hobby. I’m not even good. I pulled the blanket over my head as I tried to keep everything inside.

I took a deep breath shut my eyes, and tried to go to bed. I really couldn’t I spent the night going in out of fits of crying then back to sleep, crying, sleep, repeat. Till finally it was morning.

The next day I waited for the afternoon then went to fix things. I needed to be composed. I needed to seem convincing. Unfazed. I didn’t like Wyatt so Ben spilling my secret wouldn’t bother me because it wouldn’t be true. So I had to see like I was only upset because he hurt Wyatt. Which I was but that was in addition to him hurting me.

I stood outside his door and considered knocking but decided that he may not let me in if I had so instead I went for the more direct option and just opened the door. I stumbled in prepared to talk but saw Wyatt in bed, asleep. I walked up to his bed to be sure and looked down at him for a moment. Sad because he's sad. Then I noticed the trashcan full of his pictures and frowned more. I walks over to the trashcan and carefully took them out and smiled at them because they're cute and have happy memories. Like Ellie being a sadist and forcing me into the weirdest pose for a picture. I then walked over to his desk to set them down by his camera.

Suddenly I heard the beeping of his wrist watch. He was laying on his chest so when he moved his arm and turned his head slightly to turn the alarm off he hadn’t seen me. He then flopped his face down onto the pillow.

“You should probably wake up since I assume you set that alarm for a reason.” I said and leaned against his desk.

He jumped from the bed, sitting up and looking over at her, eyes wide open in shock. But then he looks at he opened door and blinked staring back at me, “How did you- Were you-were you watching me sleep?” He asked utterly alarmed. Normally I would have laughed but I just wasn’t in the mood. I hadn’t slept well from all the crying after all.

I shrugged, “No. I came to talk. I really just got here, then I saw you had thrown your pictures away and got distracted” I said and motioned to the pictures.

His eyes went to the box and he pressed his lips together, shifting to let his feet touch the floor and reaching for his shoes—not facing me, “You should’ve left them where they were.

”I shouldn't have that's not where they belong. Why are you putting shoes on?” I asked.

“Am I required to stay barefoot during our conversation?”

“I mean a lot of people just don't like wearing shoes when they're in their own area. You can wear shoes if you want.” I paused for a moment and decided I should get started on fixing things,

“I don't like you like that by the way. I don't know where Ben got the idea from but it's not true.” He clenched his jaw.

“Well, obviously I like you as a friend but not like romantically. That would be unethical and not correct. Sorry if I did anything to make him think that since he yelled at you for that for one thing.” I said mumbling the rest after my first sentence.

He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and sighed, “Gabby..”

God, I annoyed him didn’t I? “Huh? Sorry, I don't mean to bug you I just wanted to clarify that.”

“I see.” He replied and stared at me. Wyatt hadn’t really been like this with me before. It’s because he and Ben are fighting I’m sure. Riley always closes off to me when we argue.

“Oh well I wanted to talk to you about Ben too. I'm sure I don't fully understand how you feel or the fight, especially because the closest thing I've had to this with my siblings I acted more like Ben, but you should hear him out. People say things they don't mean when they're mad because they get defensive and try to hurt the other. They can be especially good at it if they know the person because they know where to hit. Ben seems really sorry from what I've heard. Talking to him will help you move past this as opposed to sleeping in your room and pushing him away.”

“I’m not avoiding him.” Yeah and I’m mature. A total lie. He mumbled, “I just need some space... and that’s what he wanted anyway so”

He trailed off, chuckling softly but not it of amusement. He stared at his hands for a moment, then shook his head, “Look, he’s going to feel bad about what he said, there’s no way around that. I’m not- I’m not mad at him. But I don’t want him to keep lying for my sake.” He swallowed and rubbed the back of his neck, “I understand if he doesn’t want to put up with me anymore.”

I understood how Wyatt felt. At least a little. Riley had pushed me away before, not wanting to deal with me being her little sister. Especially when she was a teen and I was still a child. She didn’t want to hang out with me. But I also feel the other way around. I was always picking up after Riley. Fixing things with mom. Keeping everything together while she chased her dreams. I have said some nasty things to her before out of frustration at always having to deal with her.

This was different though, Wyatt hadn’t done anything wrong. Ben attacked him without reason. Ben needed to apologize point blank. And I know he has, but Wyatt needs to listen. So I need to think about who I was in those times where Riley was sick of me for once. To try and relate. This was the first time I had really seen Wyatt upset and I already hate it.

“If you talked with him you'd know that's not how he feels at all. He was just mad and had an outburst. Like when a kid says they hate their parents.” I mumbled a bit to the side, “Which really he did act like a child.” I then focused back on him, “Anyways, he didn't mean it and taking a depression nap and throwing away your pictures isn't going to fix anything. Which by the way they're great pictures he just went for a low blow.”

“It’s not a depression nap. I didn’t sleep much yesterday. And I know he was lashing out. I know how he gets. I was hoping I could get to him before that and, we’ll, clearly I didn’t succeed. But what he said...a part of him must think it’s true.” His breathing got shaking and he rubbed his eyes, “Heck, I think it’s true. I didn’t throw the pictures away because I think they’re the worst. I threw them away because they’re not that special. Which is why I don’t do photography as more than a hobby. There’s no point. I take pictures because I want them. I’m not sharing them with the world. Especially not to your dad like they’re some great gift. He actually wanted to pay for them.”

I plopped down on the bed next to him. I knew a bit of how he felt. With my surfing. I wasn’t anything special but I loved it. Though, Wyatt’s different because he’s special. He’s good at it, “You're a good photographer. Plus you seem to really like it. Since you like it so much you should continue regardless of the quality. Which by the way your pictures are again great. Even if sometimes you don't think they look the best everyone else loves them so just try to think about that when you can't get yourself to like them.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment but then mumbled, “I like them.”

“That's good then. Because you like them and everyone else loves them. So no more pictures in the trash, okay?” I asked.

He glanced at me and the hint of a smirk appeared as he muttered, “I’m not a little kid.” But then he looked at the floor again, “Thanks..”

I chuckled and decided to make the mood lighter, “If either of us are the little kid it's me, my temper is as uncontrolled as a ten year old's. I got very close to deciding to go tell Ben to be ready to ball up.”

He genuinely chuckled, “Are you going to defend my honor, Cupcake?”

I smiled happy that it seemed I was getting through to him, I then leaned back on the bed with one arm behind me and held up the other up and smirked, “Of course, what else would I do with these perfect guns.” My other arm being up was for showing off.

He hit me gently with the pillow that was next to him, still smiling a bit, “Be careful. Ben bruises easily.”

“I talked with him earlier so I think now I've calmed down enough that I can just verbally defend you honor. Though, I will keep that in mind in case we ever square up.”

He nodded and thought for a bit, “Did he apologize to you?”

“Yeah he did. I suspect he's been doing rounds to apologize to all the girls. He looked absolutely horrified when he finally realized what room he had been in.”

“That’s good.” He said then fidgeted with a button of his cuff and then spoke ”You didn’t have to come here but um, I appreciate it. Next time knock though.

I chuckled, “Right sorry. I was worried you would be like "Leave me alone angst angst angst, somehow death glares through the door.

He laughed, “ I would never sound like that! And that’s physically impossible.”

“I'm not quite sure what's possible with you and that glare. Sometimes I feel like it's like you've put a curse on me. Or that I'm already being murdered. It's intense. Though, Ben said earlier that when I glared at him it was good enough to scare children.” I crossed my arms proudly.

“So that means you scared him?” Wyatt asked as he must have heard me call him a child earlier.

I laughed, “I actually did scare him. Though, he still talked to me so it didn't have the total effect I wanted. You'll have to teach me the death glare.”

“It took me years to master. Besides, you’re too cute to ever be convincing.”

I felt my cheeks flush. He called me cute. Oh my god he called me cute. Probably in a non romantic way but still HE CALLED ME CUTE *blasts off like Rudolph in the movie* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm94FmRX6c0

“wouldn't think you'd be good at death glares since you're such a dork but I'd be wrong. Who knows maybe I'd do great at them.” I replied as I tried to hold in my giddiness.

He cleared his throat as I said dork for some reason, then looked at the ceiling, “I don’t know, you’d look like an angry chipmunk.”

I looked back at him and saw him looking at the ceiling then reached over to turn his head to face me and I tried to glare, “Did it work?”

He turned red as I suddenly realized the proximity of our faces and turned red myself, “Nope, sorry to disappoint.” He pulled back quickly, and rubbed his nape awkwardly and looking away.

“I should probably head back to my room now. My maids will want to get me ready for dinner and I'm sure you have whatever you set an alarm for.” I said totally embarrassed and wanting to go. I was supposed to be convincing him I didn’t like him. Not pushing out faces two centimeters apart.

He cleared his throat, “Sounds about right.” He quickly stood and offered me a hand.

I took his hand and got up, “See you at dinner, table mate.” I excused with a thumbs up then turned to leave.

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citycfangels · 7 years ago

Conversation

text: raquel ⇄ charlie

Raquel: knock knock.

Raquel: nevermind forget knock knock almost jokes. Did you forget about the starving really hot girl in your apartment?

Raquel: is this is a hint for me to leave?

Raquel: maybe it isn't but I hope everything is okay. I'm worried.

Charlie: everything is okay, babe. i just ran to someone and i had to say hello

Charlie: i wouldn't forget about my almost naked, hot, starving girl.

Raquel: okay, just making sure. I wasn't thinking up crazy scenarios or anything. Nope.

Raquel: well I hope you wouldn't forget about me. Not even if you get amnesia or something. You're supposed to remember me forever.

Charlie: i wouldn't do that ever, babe.

Charlie: can i ask you something hypothetical, babe?

Raquel: well you're still away but you sure are making up for it by being cute. 😘

Raquel: ... what's the hypothetical????

Charlie: my face and my body makes it up for it, babe

Charlie: okay, i don't know how to say this so

Charlie: imagine a couple in which A and B are 'dating' but B is with C too

Charlie: what if A sees C cheating on them?

Raquel: this is a weird hypothetical. I just want you to know that.

Raquel: what are you trying to say?

Charlie: yeah, it sounds weirder that it did in my head

Charlie: i saw Nathan with another girl a moment ago. i don't know if he saw me but

Raquel: babe, nathan isn't even in town.

Raquel: I am with you and I know that I'm the bad guy in that relationship. I know you think he isn't right for me and that I should be with you, and I already said I would but you don't have to tell me he is cheating on me when he isn't even in town. He wouldn't do that to me.

Raquel: are you sure it was Nathan?

Raquel: i know how my last texts sounded and I don't want to call you a liar and I'm not it's just I was okay knowing that I was cheating on him. I was okay with being a bad person and not giving our relationship a shot. I was fine with being in love with you and not with him even when I knew I should be with him. And I know it's wrong that I might be a bit upset if that was him. I just didn't think someone would actually cheat on me. Maybe flirt with other girls or whatever but I don't know.

Raquel: shouldn't you be happy about this?

Charlie: then he lied to you.

Charlie: i know it sounds crazy but it was really him, with one of the girls that came to his promotion party. it may sound like something i'd say so you can finally break up with him, but it's not.

Charlie: no, it's not, i guess. i've never been in your position but i would have probably be upset too.

Charlie: as for me, i don't know. a part of me is because i always thought he was going to do something sooner or later to fuck things up between you two, but the other part of me doesn't want to see you upset.

Charlie: i'm sorry i'm the one breaking it to you.

Charlie: wait, did you just say you're in love with me?????

Raquel: no, if anyone had to tell me he was cheating on me I'd rather it be you.

Raquel: I'm sorry that you have to tell me and that I'm being this weird. I shouldn't care.

Raquel: I guess I'm not upset. I just I don't know. It just means our relationship went longer than it should have if we both weren't in it. It's just I was fine with being the bad person in this. It's just shocking to know that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

Raquel: of course I'm in love with you.

Charlie: no, i think it's something normal. you were in a relationship with him, even if you weren't as invested as you are in ours. still, i'm okay with you being weird about it.

Charlie: besides, i can't tell you how to feel about it. i had a feeling about him, but i hoped he was a good man. it was shocking to see him with his tongue down someone else's throat.

Charlie: damn. now i'm here smiling while looking at my phone like an idiot in the middle of the street.

Raquel: maybe I should just be happy for him. Maybe he found someone to be with just like how I'm with you.

Raquel: he is a good guy. Unless Im saying cheating makes you a bad person. I don't know because ifit does then I'm worse, right?

Raquel: then maybe you should get out of the middle of the street crazy person.

Charlie: if you tell me he is, i believe you. you're not a bad person for cheating, but there's people who won't see it the same way.

Charlie: who are you calling crazy now???

Raquel: maybe other people don't matter. At least not when it comes to this.

Raquel: I'm still calling you crazy. You're completely crazy. I'm the sane one in this relationship.

Charlie: you're right, they don't

Charlie: what did i do to deserve this attack?

Raquel: at least they don't matter when it comes to this and honestly the only person whose opinion really matters is yours

Raquel: you can't call it an attack if it's the truth.

Charlie: that's it, you just lost the privilege of seeing me cooking while naked, just wearing an apron.

Raquel: what?

Raquel: don't be a tyrannical dictator you cant just start taking things away from me. I can do that too you know. Or I can just go home.

Charlie: in that case i'm open to negotiate as soon as i'm home in a couple of minutes

Charlie: although i could do that without a problem because we're at my place, remember?

Raquel: which is exactly why I can go home if you want to start taking away reasons for me being here. There's no negotiation.

Charlie: oh, so you're there because of the nudity?

Charlie: i think i will cook with nothing under the apron then... if you're also naked.

Raquel: obviously. Nudity and the coffee and maybe the comfortable bed but that's it.

Raquel: do I really have to be naked? I was thinking of wearing a full on nun outfit for a change.

Charlie: and you're not there to see me read and look smart and sexy while i'm at it? now i'm hurt

Charlie: yes, you have. i'm not going to be the only one naked, right?

Raquel: eh maybe I am but that's just a bonus.

Raquel: depends... what are you going to do to convince me?

Charlie: for starters i'm going to cook you a decent meal instead of ordering food, whatever you want me to make with everything i bought. naked, of course, only wearing an apron

Charlie: then we'll see what happens. i haven't thought about it yet

Raquel: sounds like the beginning of a good plan.

Raquel: maybe you shouldn't overthink this. From the sounds of it food, maybe wine and you is a pretty solid plan.

Charlie: a good plan that will likely end up in sex

Charlie: i haven't bought wine but i'm sure i have something in there, you can look for it before i arrive

Raquel: Is that all you think about with me?

Raquel: I'll start the scavenger hunt now. hOpefully I find something good.

Charlie: not always, but it's what happens when i've been in my apartment with you for myself for two days in a row

Charlie: good luck, i'll be there in a few minutes

Raquel: really? So it's only because I've been here and it's not just because your mind just automatically goes to the gutter?

Raquel: So there's no weird stuff I shouldn't find? Nothing you want to hide from me?

Charlie: maaaaaybe yes, maybe not

Charlie: i have nothing to hide, what would i hide?

Raquel: I think that just means definitely yes.

Raquel: I don't know. Stuff. There could be a lot of things you can hide at your place. A collection of weird dolls, drugs, other girl's panties. The list is endless.

Charlie: busted

Charlie: i don't do drugs, i haven't fucked any other girl since we started being somewhat serious and i don't have creepy dolls. and the porn is on my laptop, so you won't find any porn either

Raquel: big time.

Raquel: Okay. I believe you. Not like you would find anything at my place if you did want to go snooping. i don't have anything from you

Charlie: i thought you'd have at least one t shirt at this point

Raquel: If I did I wouldn't be hiding it. Your t shirts are only yours while you wear them. Once they go on me they're mine.

Charlie: oh? then i'm never get them back?

Raquel: nope. They're mine now.

Charlie: well, keep them. i don't really mind you having them to be honest

Raquel: so should I take that as code for "sure babe, you can have all my shirts"?

Charlie: yes, you can have them. i can always buy new ones anyways and you look good in them

Raquel: you do know that that just means that you'll just always be buying shirts.

Charlie: i only ask you to not steal too many of them, or else i'll have none to wear

Raquel: you not wearing a shirt wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Charlie: in private, but me not wearing one in public and attracting too many girls at work? you're sure you want that?

Raquel: .... maybe I don't. You did say that you weren't seeing other girls so if we are going back to being exclusive, exclusive then they can look but they can't touch.

Charlie: i wasn't seeing other girls, so yeah, i can do that. i have no intentions of having anything with someone else if that's what you're asking

Raquel: it's not exactly what I was asking but it sorta is.

Raquel: there's just me for you and I know that now. I just wasn't sure if we were on the same page or not.

Raquel instagram post: https://78.media.tumblr.com/30e75391e84d85e259bea50f5133086d/tumblr_or6lnecFwu1w7ltgxo1_500.jpg Quellersmal When you’re completely okay with the thought of never wearing pants again. #mymanisnttheonlyonewithabs #nopantsforme #noshirtsforhim

Charlie: we are in the same page and you can have my shirts

Charlie: and by the picture you just posted, it seems like you're going pantless

Raquel: yessss I get a new part of my wardrobe.

Raquel: any objections?

Charlie: nope, no objections. you know i like your ass so much, so you won't hear a complaint from me

Charlie: it may distract me, but i won't whine about it, babe

Raquel: well distracting you is what I'm best at even if I do want you to get through your books.

Charlie: you're the best at it. your ass is distracting, especially when you're not wearing pants

Charlie: what if i don't read today and we do stuff together? watching a movie, for example

Raquel: sure we could do whatever you want. I think us taking a break from sex will actually be just what your neighbor wants. Either she is just not a nice person or she is just sick of hearing us. I went out and saw her and let's just say I didn't get a warm welcome. Hopefully for neighborly sake she is nicer to you.

Charlie: which one of them? is she the blonde one?

Raquel: yeah, I think she said her name was Candice or something.

Charlie: oh

Charlie: she's a bitch, don't pay attention to her. she's probably jealous.

Raquel: jealous? Why would she be jealous? She's a knock out and if I were completely single and in a world where you didn't exist maybe I would try to hook up with her

Charlie: i don't know, it was a guess

Charlie: i know, she's hot, but i find you hotter, babe

Raquel: I don't think I'm someone pther people would be jealous of. Even if I am pretty lucky and I have you.

Raquel: you are winning a lot of boyfriend points. But since when is leggy beautiful blonde not your type?

Charlie: yesh, you're lucky bc you're with me, but you're hot and smart, so that's hitting the jackpot

Charlie: i'll be honest with you: i hooked up with her once, she became clingy and i don't do clingy

Charlie: don't worry about her, okay? she may be jealous and bitchy but i'm with you, babe

Raquel: when did you hook up with her?

Raquel: was it when we were together?

Charlie: no

Charlie: it happened at some point in those four months after we broke up. i can't recall when, but we weren't together at that point, that's for sure

Charlie: she's the only girl i regret hooking up with, and that says a lot coming from me

Raquel: right, because you have hooked up with so many girls.

Raquel: it's not that I don't appreciate your honesty. I do. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel knowing that some girl you hooked up with a) lives so close and b) still acts like she has some sort of claim over you.

Raquel: I guess I was okay with not knowing who you hooked up with but now it's like I can picture it. You with her and I hate it because I know I shouldn't worry. I know I should just be fine with it but right now I don't know.

Raquel: I'm not upset but maybe I should go home (unsent)

Charlie: she's pretty much aware of me not wanting anyone but you at this point, so she won't make a move. or at least i hope she doesn't pull off any shit.

Charlie: the only girl i want is you, babe. isn't that enough? she may live next door, but i wouldn't go to her ever, not even if things get rough between us.

Raquel: are you 100% sure? I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you want her and just go next door because I am in this. There is no one else for me. What happened with Nathan and us breaking up was a mistake. I know that now and I know you're saying I'm the only girl you want now, but I don't want those to be just words. You gave me time to figure things out and if you need the same then I can give you time. I just don't want you making a decision you might regret later. She isn't the only one that can be clingy or obsessive.

Charlie: babe, why are you insecure?

Charlie: sure, she's hot, she has the legs and the body and she looks like a damn model, but that means nothing to me if she's ugly inside. you're beautiful outside too, but what makes you different from her is that i fucking like you for who you are. you're beautiful inside.

Charlie: i would never go to her, i'm 100% sure of that. i don't even need time to think about it.

Raquel: I'm insecure because the fact that you're with me still baffles me. You could be with any girl in the world.

Raquel: can you just come home please?

Charlie: i could, but i chose you

Charlie: let me take the elevator and i'll be there

Raquel: i guess I choose you too. And I'm going to keep choosing you until you get sick of me.

Raquel: chop chop.

#text: 009 charlie #text: charlie #all: charlie #ship: rarlie #text

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