#|| i think about jude helen and jon the most!!!

[irradiatedsnakes]

the Big TMA Furry List

this list with commentary/choice rationale below the cut :] i wrote a lot of thoughts down do please check it out.

jon: common raven

martin: tan jumping spider

sasha: southern flannel moth

not!sasha: red postman

tim: jackson's chameleon

melanie: eastern copperhead

georgie: triceratops horridus

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

jane: cabbage white

michael: spiny softshell turtle

helen: common hermit crab

oliver: black vulture

peter: risso's dolphin

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

jude: black kite

agnes: ???

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

jared: american dog tick

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

dekker: mouflon

gertrude: great tit

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

manuela: gray long-eared bat

rayner: olm

salesa: sea otter

simon: dodo

elaboration below !

jon: common raven

this was a choice i made before i even finished listening to the podcast back in 2020. jon's 1000% a bird to me, and the curious nature of corvids works well here. plus, i think a bird so universally ominous as a raven works perfectly as a horror protag :P i used to draw raven!jon with a couple troodon traits, mostly just cus it was fun, but i wanted to make my designs more grounded for this iteration. made them plantigrade, didn't get silly with body styles like i have with mp100 designs.

martin: tan jumping spider

if you've been here for a while you'll know that my furry martin has gone through about two million iterations. he started off as a european pine marten, to bold jumping spider, to chinese pangolin, to nine-banded armadillo, finally to nurse shark.

out of all of these the spider and the shark are my favorites. i wanted to go back to the jumping spider though- the design is really fun and i wasn't able to get the expressions right, but i'm more confident in my skills now and i'm having fun with the design. i may revisit nurse shark at some point. i switched from bold to tan jumper- i originally chose bold just cus they're my favorite jumper, but their stark black/white and iridescent aqua coloration just doens't work for martin. so, the tan jumper!

sasha: southern flannel moth

another old choice. species chosen because of a friend's fic, pharos by right (another i'm planning to reread now that i'm dipping my toes back into tma..)! southern flannel moths are poofy and orange, and their caterpillars are those super painful teddybear ones. i really like the design.

not!sasha: red postman

wanted to have her be another lepidopteran, and with all the many examples of mimicry among the group i thought red postman was a fun choice. doesn't look anything like a southern flannel moth, but that's sort of the point.

tim: jackson's chameleon

yet another choice from the oldtimes- most of the main characters are, i've mostly switched around the more secondary chars. first suggested, i believe, by @/ofdreamsanddoodles. i think there's something very fun about chameleons being basically a living mood ring & tim's Descent s1-3 showing physcially not just through the worm scars but through like, constant stress coloration during s3.

melanie: eastern copperhead

one of my favorite choices. i have a young copperhead specimen named after her. this one is quite vibes-based, but i do really like the copperhead as a viper that is not deadly. and i'm always a sucker for the "animal perceived as scary and violent that in actuality only strikes when under extreme stress" thing in furry assignments.

georgie: triceratops horridus

another favorite choice. visually, i really like how this works out, and trikes as a social and protective animal works well. she's literally got a shield on her face. horridus was chosen because i like the shape of the head and horns better than prorsus.

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

got a little cat/dog thing going on for dasira. i like the inversion of the usual cat/dog dynamic with their unhealthy devotion instead, and visually it just works very well for them both.

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

yeah i know this one's an exceedingly obvious choice.

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

it's the institute logo! it's him! barn owl for elias specifically because of its very sleek look, designing him went fantastically. also, i can make the eagle owl's face disk work as a mimicry of ben meredith's muttonchops, which i think is a fun design bit to give to magnus.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

certified gerryguy @/gerrydelano's choice. to quote a discord message from 3 years ago (sorry ron): "i feel like.........my INSTINCT is some kind of canine because like. the whole symbolism thing about being either an obedient or rabid dog. something something muzzled all your life. being a dangerous figure if people only see the silhouette but you just want scritches and nobody'll get close enough to you." black dog symbolism + breed which has ears cropped and tail docked, unecessarily molded for a Purpose which the dog has no say in

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

sort of my original choice- she used to be part white-booted racket-tail, part anna's hummingbird. kept with the racket-tail cus it's fun and very cute. i've had a couple people express surprise that she wasn't a spider, but i think that's way too obvious. hummingbirds, though- they steal the webs of spiders to use as material to make their nests, but can sometimes become trapped in the webs and eaten by the spiders themselves. which is probably the metaphor-via-fursona-assignment i'm most proud of in this whole list

jane: cabbage white

the cabbage white is a butterfly whose caterpillars are routinely parasitized by the parasitoid wasp the white butterfly parasite. in case you're not familiar, parasitoid wasps lay their eggs on (usually) caterpillars, which hatch on the still-living caterpillar, devouring it from the inside before eventually emerging from the consumed husk of the host. also, i really liked the image of parasitoid wasp larvae emerging from an adult butterfly, rather than a caterpillar.

michael: spiny softshell turtle

for michael and helen, i wanted to choose animals which were, in some way, their own home. turtle is an obvious choice- and spiny softshells are a favorite of mine, and sufficiently strange-looking.

helen: common hermit crab

see previous entry. also please google "hermit crab without shell"

oliver: black vulture

bit of an obvious choice, but i adore vultures so i had to. black vulture chosen because i think the monochrome color scheme + straighter face work better than a turkey vulture for him

peter: risso's dolphin

i really like the idea of a cetacean for peter and the lukases as a whole, a famously social animal for the seemingly contradictory nature of this lonely-but-huge family, plus with so many cetaceans being endangered getting that lonely angle (risso's specifically are not, though, as peter is lonely through his own choice, not by circumstance).

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

it's a dimorphodont. he feels like a pterosaur to me, and i like the idea of a vast avatar as a usually short-flying arboreal species, for the unnaturality/contrast of it.

jude: black kite

black kites are one of the species of kites known to intentionally spread fires by picking up burning sticks to flush out prey.

agnes: ???

the only one i'm still undecided on. will update.

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

i can't top that

jared: american dog tick

great choice from @/magnusarchivememes. Takes Your Blood And Gets So Big

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

vaguely russian animals that are large and imposing but remain somewhat generic. which is the hog and which is the bear is not consistent.

dekker: mouflon

dekker has very much mammal vibes to me. the mouflon is a neat species of wild sheep. i think the noble, imposing but kind image of the ram works well for dekker as that sort of true-good hero figure, and mouflons in particular are very nice looking with good shapes. the statement giver in distant cousin describes dekker as "though he was slightly shorter than I was, it seemed like he towered over me." which i think this sheep works well with.

gertrude: great tit

i wanted all the main eye avatars as birds, just like how i give them all glasses. just a fun little treat for me. great tit was chosen for gertrude as a kind of classic british bird, and as tits in general are VERY fiesty despite their round and adorable appearance. i really like this image of a great tit posing with a dead mouse like it's a hunter with a trophy deer. the cheek markings also work really well to bring to mind the image of old person jowls.

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

vibes. also i like the idea of him as a spoiled domestic animal. if i remember correctly, this was also @/ofdreamsanddoodles' suggestion

manuela: gray long-eared bat

she's a bat. what's to say. WELL actually okay there's the perception of bats as blind but actually having quite good vision which i think meshes in a fun way with the dark, and the way manuela does her sciency stuff.

rayner: olm

i mean, yeah

salesa: sea otter

largely design-oriented, suitably scruffy. ocean animal with strong social bonds, it was a slam dunk soon as i thought of it.

simon: dodo

how couldn't i, come on.

[emhasthoughts]

Gertrude and the cat-avatars

Summary: Gertrude let one cat in. Said cat has a habit of bringing in other cats.

A/N: During @dcartcorner's stream the topic of avatars as cats came up and I decided to write a little something for it. I have another part with the Distortions that might be posted later. Also worth noting: I do not own a cat, never have, I'm horrible with cat breeds, so I've tried to describe Simon/Peter/Elias through this art and Mike's look is taken from this

Lastly: Not beta read by someone else, just me and my lil google document.

Pt 1, You're here! / Pt 2, Michael and Helen Distortion, Agnes / Pt 3, Annabelle, Jude, Oliver / Pt 4, John, Jane, Maxwell, Manuela / Pt 5, Jon, Martin, Sasha, Tim / Pt 6, Melanie, Daisy, Basira, Georgie / Pt 7, Jared, Gerry, Nikola / Bonus, a visit to the vet / Halloween bonus!

Simon was the first cat she actually adopted. It had been one of her coworkers who had wanted to get rid of him due to their financial situation and asked Gertrude about it. Claiming that he was old and an inside cat, easy to take care of. She had agreed. Thinking it would be easy and that, in the worst case, Simon would not live for long after getting him. She could not have been more wrong.

Sometimes he could have passed as a kitten. Rather small for what he was meant to be, thin despite the amount of food he ate, his gray fur was not fluffy enough to hide how thin he could look. Despite it all, the veterinarian had claimed him healthy. He was also not that much of an indoor cat. Sometimes, whenever he felt like it, he would wander out of the house, sometimes gone for days. Gertrude did not mind it that much. He was a rather loud and talkative cat after all.

Simon also had a habit of getting more cats to her doorstep. 

One day she opened the door to see small Simon standing proudly in the middle of two new cats. One looked nearly ridiculous next to him. Light beige and at least three times bigger and fluffier, with yellow eyes that sort of made it look like he did not want to be there. To the other side was a mainly brown cat, who seemed to be in a perfect middle of size and fluff. A bit of white around the eyes, nose, stomach and paws. He looked at her with judgemental green eyes and for a moment she worried if a cat could actually see into someone’s soul. Since they kept coming back she had named the two Peter, the fluffy cat and the other Elias.

Peter came and went. Similarly to Simon, he could be gone for days, maybe even weeks. Whenever he was home he was with Elias and/or Simon, being quiet and calm. Elias was probably the most judgemental cat she had ever come across. He was not really loud or overly talkative, but he could spend hours in a corner just looking at her without blinking. It was a bit creepy and sometimes it felt like he was secretly planning to kill her in her sleep.

Four months ago Simon was gone for a week, only to come back in with a very disgruntled cat. Looking rather similar to Peter, though smaller, thinner bit of brown around the eyes, paws, tip of ears and tail, including a branching scar most visible on the back. Despite the cat not being a small kitten, Simon still managed to drag them there. The cat had seemingly accepted its fate, making Gertrude question how far from home they were.

She had taken the cat to a veterinarian the day after. It was a male, named Mike, who had once belonged to a couple that passed two years before in a house fire. The scar was older, though it had gotten infected over the two years. She had gotten more of a rundown of everything that was wrong with Mike and she planned to simply let him up for adoption, except Simon did not seem to leave Mike’s side. So, Gertrude accepted Mike in. If only until he was healthy again, by then Simon would hopefully be over it. 

Since then Gertrude had tried to throw Mike back on the streets while Simon was away. Except the pair kept coming back. Which caused her current situation. Sitting on her sofa, trying to watch TV, except she found herself staring at Mike, who had made himself comfortable on the shelf next to a vase, glaring back at her. His paw slowly raising towards the vase, never breaking eye contact. Gertrude narrowed her eyes. Until -

There was no crash. The vase was no longer on the shelf but it was also not shattered on the ground. Her eyes did not leave the falling - flying? - vase. It did not really stop the small cat from glaring at her. 

Gertrude had no real clue how long it was like that. The vase floating on the spot, her looking at the vase and Mike glaring at her. Like a picture, frozen in time. At least until -

CRASH

Well fuck.

[tales-from-drama-school]

Fictional characters based on whether I think they'd like vegemite or not

None of these characters have come anywhere near vegemite because they're not australian but I think whether or not you like vegemite says a lot about you so here we go

Aziraphale: he would not like it as a spread, it's a bit too strong for him, but he would LOVE vegemite scrolls (is this because he likes delicious cheesy pastry? yes. are vegemite scrolls delicious? also yes)

Crowley: Absolutely not. It's way too salty for him, and because he eats stuff very rarely, he would not choose to eat ThAT

Muriel: is still getting used to the idea of eating food and would straight up just refuse to try it

Maggie: Would try it. Would be polite and finish a sandwich made for it, but it's not something she would choose

Nina: Thinks it's fine but prefers Marmite (she's wrong but she's also british so it's fine)

Jon Sims: would love vegemite, he's that salty. He would also tell no one he loves vegemite and would stash a massive jar of it behind other 'normal' british foods in his cupboard.

Martin Blackwood: Would not like vegemite. He would try it at Jon's insistence and say, 'why on earth would you eat this?' and never eat it again

Gertrude: Likes vegemite but would only eat it when she's in australia. She is the most likely to have actually eaten vegemite out of anyone else on this post.

Gerry Keay: Would hate it. He'd take one bite of it and go 'bleARagh' and then go off and do Gerry Keay stuff

Tim Stoker: Is fairly neutral about vegemite. He would eat it if he was given a sandwich or a vegemite scroll but he would not actively choose to eat vegemite

Sasha James: Would not like vegemite. She tried it once while on a trip and despises it. Would not be at all surprised to learn that Jon likes vegemite

Not!Sasha: Loves vegemite so much it's disgusting.

Helen: Doesn't eat human food

Elias/Jonah: Elias's tastebuds do not like vegemite at all, but that doesn't matter because Jonah tried it once in a previous body and now eats it straight from the jar

Bruce: does not mind vegemite. He has had it a couple of times on various trips/various events and didn't like it but didn't dislike it either

Alfred: refuses to go anywhere near vegemite, as '[it] is an abomination.' Occasionally eats Marmite on toast.

Dick: also does not mind vegemite. Would not volunteer to eat it, but if forced to also wouldn't hate it

Jason: Hates vegemite. Too salty, tastes weird, why would anyone eat it. He only thinks this because he has only eaten it directly off the spoon

Cass: Would not like vegemite at all. Hasn't tried it, and will go out of her way not to try it, ever.

Tim: Likes vegemite. A good vegemite sandwich pairs well with black coffee. The salt and preservatives help keep his body functioning

Steph: Has eaten a vegemite sandwich once and was not impressed. Would probably like vegemite scrolls but doesn't know they exist.

Babs: If you presented her with a vegemite sandwich, she'd look at it and then look at you, and then you would leave.

Duke: Has never tried vegemite. Doesn't know what vegemite is. Probably won't unless one of his siblings decides to use it in a prank.

Damian: Likes vegemite insofar as it is associated with kangaroos and other australian creatures. Has never actually eaten it, and if he did he would hate it.

(there are a lot more batfam members and characters I could do here but the list is so long so I'm sticking to the faves)

Jude Duarte: Has not tried vegemite. Would love vegemite. (It's salty and therefore a very safe food in faerieland.) Someone get this queen some vegemite.

Cardan: Would not like vegemite at all, but understands why Jude does

Oak: Would despise vegemite. Too salty. Too...taste. As a kid he would throw it away, now he would politely but forcefully decline.

Heather: likes vegemite.

Vivi: Was introduced to vegemite through heather and now adores it.

Grima mog: tried it and loves it. Uses it everywhere. Like hot sauce.

Suren: hasn't heard of vegemite. If you showed it to her, she would be displeased. If she ate it, she would banish you from her court.

Taryn: only eats vegemite scrolls, has never tried the actual spread

I will add more by request

[vickozone]

The Magnus Archives

-S5 Notes-

<- previous notes

Handwriting translated below:

#161 old memories, tape that Gertrude should have gave them, Jon says “I love you”, they don’t need to eat to live

#162 Gertrude and Gerry bonding, Tim and Sasha talking about a very relevant subject and Jon and Martin are leaving the safe house.

#163 [VIETNAM FLASHBACKS] [BAGPIPES INTENSIFY]

#164 Gross statement about an infection in a town and Helen talking to Jon and Martin like a proud aunt is beautiful. “I knew you crazy kids would make it work!”

#165 “Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing.” The Stranger statement. Not!Sasha messed up!!

#166 Martin suddenly is on a murder episode and a dude turned into a worm. Helen says “Slay!”

#167 “Yes, Martin, you are my reason.” Sweet bonding and why Gertrude didn’t have anymore assists.

#168 “I’m not going to kill a man just because you’re jealous!” “Why not?” Oh, Martin. Oliver Banks shall live another day and we are crossing The End domain

#169 Let’s willingly run into a burning building, disregarding your boyfriend and getting revenge together! Jude is now dead and Martin was just struggling in the background. He chose revenge over his boyfriend. Interesting. “We’re burning!”

#170 “I’m Martin Blackwood, and I am not lonely anymore!” “Oh… Hello!”

#171 No way I just spent 23 minutes listening to Jon talk about skin flowers in a botanical garden. “That your boyfriend?” “It is, actually.” “Oh.”

#172 Creepy theatre show that made me genuinely uncomfortable with The Web

#173 Where do you think all of the children went? That’s right! The Dark with Callum! Yay!

#174 Simon calling Jon killing him “rude” is hilarious and immediately dipping is iconic. Weird Vast domain with big explosions. Helen loves some good gossip.

#175 The Extinction items, hate for umbrellas, and Martin’s squelchy couch. We’re going to The Hunt next. Oh no.

#176 Adoptive uncle Trevor and Julia are dead. AWESOME HUNT STATEMENT! And we got Basira! :D

#177 ‘Dr. David’ Jon is so hot. This episode has so many trigger warnings. Helen is so silly. Basira is rad, staying with her boys. Won’t let them have a moment tho

#178 More Flesh. Gross processing line and Jon admits that the thing that traumatized him the most was Daisy going to kill him in the woods. Poor babies.

#179 Daisy is shot and killed. Basira is on her own and I have a reason to give Jon a cane.

#180 I have never felt more serene in my life. I can’t even describe it. I was smiling, giggling, and everything feels okay. Salesa and Annabelle are here and I love Salesa’s voice and HE CAN PLAY THE PIANO! Teaholding fluff, om nom nom, this episode is one of my favorites. The I-Spy game <3

#181 They decide to stay at Upton House for a bit longer before leaving. Jon feels his powers again and forgets the whole experience of ignorance. Pity. Seemed like a nice place. I like Salesa.

#182 Anatomy Class student hospital and Breekon asks Jon to kill him. I feel bad for him. :(

#183 “I’m sure I love you.” “I love you too.” THEY SAID IT!! Helen was concerned for them. She’s like a wine aunt who acts motherly to them. Also, Martin’s domain…

#184 Jon made Jordan an entity. That’s a lotta ants! Jon is just… so complicated.

#185 Ouch. Police brutality and wrongful imprisonment are rough subjects. That guy pleading out to Martin HURT. Martin is… somewhere at the end. Alone again, oh, Jonny, I feel horrible.

#186 Martin went from being a joke in Jon’s anger to being one of the most well-developed characters. He is either going to kill himself of Jon. Martin legit talks to himself. Statement made me cry. This better end with them being happy together.

#187 HELEN! D: Aw, man… I liked her. That poor woman. Calm down, Jon! Helen was their friend till the end. Dang it, that was a nail-biter.

#188 We’re in London now! Eyes, man. They’re everywhere. We grieve for Helen a bit. Did I mention EYES?

#189 MEL AND GEORGIE! OMG! They… made a cult and can hide from The Eye. Great.

#190 Fresh take on modern dating! Antichrist plus one! Archivist mocks poems, beloved pet turned monster, and a blind prophet

#191 Jon sleeps with his eyes open. Georgie wants to avenge her cat (I think I’ve seen this film before), mystery can, and Jon and Martin discuss death. Sobbing atm.

#192 Rosie is literally just going with the flow. It’s weird to see someone else’s perspective on things. Jonah’s incantation is awesome and gosh, I love Martin

#193 Elias 'high as a kite' Bouchard’s origins. Jonah’s distorted voice is hot.

#194 THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT D: After a gruesome metamorphosis statement, Jon tried to find Martin to apologize only to find he was taken to HILL TOP FREAKIN ROAD

#195 Just Basira and Jon, catching up and trudging through water. Omg. The Mr. Spider tape.

#196 Earth shattering rip-in-space time crap. Annabelle is wicked cool. Martin keeps getting sucked into things AND THE TAPES!! ASDFEKGLZMV

#197 MARTIN! ANNABELLE! TAPES! THE LIGHTER! INTER-DIMENSIONAL PIT! WE NEED TO DESTROY JONAH AND THE EYE SIMULTANEOUSLY! LES GO!

#198 If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too? Ew, bones reforming. Chill ep. Silly.

#199 Group agrees on plan after ten minute discussion. Martin consulting Jon while he cries in his arms HURT!! Also, Mel thanks Jon. This is going to end horribly, isn’t it?

#200 Statement ends.

Crying tally: |||| |||| (I cried ten [10] times listening to this stupid podcast)

[mordenandmerry]

I have so many fear themed songs, so here’s a song for each fear! I know I did this with just lemon demon songs, but there are so many others, I wanted to make a better list.

The Spiral - uncanny long arms by underscores. This is the most Micheal/helen coded song out there I will fight people about this also I love this album

The Corruption - Maggot by Slutever. Pretty self explanatory, maggots and worms

The Buried - Smother by Slutever. Another Slutever song, but I think it fits and I really like them :)

The Desolation - Burn Ur House Down by Emily Jeffri. Jude Perry core

The Slaughter - Hayloft II by Mother Mother. You know this song. If you don’t think you do, you do. If your this chronically online, you know why I chose this song.

The Eye - Everybody’s Buisness by Sluttony. In denial eye avatar

The Lonely - recently, by Liana Flores. This really is Martin in his domain. It makes me want to collapse into the foggy grassy the sea and never get up :)

The End - My Time by bo en. Omori fans know

The Dark - Turn The Lights Off by Tally Hall. To is song is exactly what the dark is.

The Web - Possesed! by Louie Zong. That one priest? I dunno though, it’s definitely also giving Jon and the web.

The Flesh - The Spine by Darren Korb and Ashley Barret. Listen to the version off the Music of Supergiant Games album instead of the original Transistor OST it’s more cinematic and I love it.

The Vast - Lost In Space by Derivakat and Netrum. Captures the thing where vast avatars are just happy while committing various crimes

The Stranger - Smoke and Mirrors by Gotye. This is more angled towards the Not!Them instead of the CotO, especially the people around it.

The Hunt - Bill Waterson by Lemon Demon. I feel like being stalked can definitely fall under the hunt

Damn I really just put my questionable music taste on blast. Please don’t bully me I am a minor :)

[catwings-writes-things]

If you still take questions from the Tree writer ask game: Gingko: What part of your story is the oldest, has stuck around from that original idea?

Paper Birch: Which character has the most layers peeled back?

I am indeed still taking asks! I am always taking asks from any ask game I’ve ever reblogged, by the way. Just tell me which one and preferably include the questions, especially if it’s from a while back. You did this exactly right 💚

Gingko: A World of His Own has actually changed shockingly little from the original idea. From the first “hey, what if” series of texts about the concept I sent to @thethistlegirlwrites, the basic premise and who was involved were set. I had the basic plot sketched out in its entirety within a few days. So to answer this question, I’m going to have to go back to a few days before the actual germ of the idea, when I read this fic by @mikecrewsteacup and started thinking about Mike a lot more than I previously had. One of the things I noticed was that Jude said Mike “hangs around with the Fairchilds sometimes,” so he clearly knows and gets on with them but isn’t one himself, and I started wondering if they hadn’t invited him to join or if they had but he’d declined, and if so why. I did eventually decide it makes total sense with his character that he would prefer to remain as unaffiliated as possible with anything and anyone except the Vast, and especially that he’d be uncomfortable with the idea of a family of any sort, but it led to wondering what, if anything, might have been different if he had been a Fairchild. That led to me thinking more about the Fairchilds in general, which led to me going back over Freefall and wondering who Harriet was (besides the only Fairchild besides Simon we get a name for. We get the names of more Lukases, for crying out loud) and what the deal was with Robert Kelly and Open Skydiving (more on that in chapter 11), and that led to me writing a ficlet where she gets sent to invite Mike to join the Fairchild family a year or two after his Becoming. Even then, when they both suspected that the other might start trying to kill them at any moment, I could tell within a few minutes of them interacting with each other that their dynamic had, pun intended, vast potential. So, probably the oldest part of this story is the relationship between Mike and Harriet. (My interest in Jon and Helen’s dynamic is even older, but the way I think about it has evolved enough over time that I think the above answer still stands.)

Paper Birch: surprising no one, I’m gonna have to say Helen. Not just because she’s been a thousand different people over the past who-knows-how-many centuries, not just because she’s often a mystery even to herself, but because one of the many consequences of the fact that this fic is being told entirely from Jon’s point of view is that what gets conveyed to the readers is limited by what he knows and thinks and believes, and even though Jon is hands-down Helen’s favorite person and (by this point in the story) the person who loves her most, he’s also fundamentally unable to understand her (for practical reasons and for her safety), not to mention just. Kind of shit at actually understanding other people in general. However, he’s also inclined to keep trying to work around that, partly because it’s hard for him to grasp any other way to love someone. He’s definitely getting better at that, but in the meantime, the upshot of all that is that he will keep forming new misconceptions about Helen only slightly more slowly than he learns better. Sooner or later they’ll both realize that that’s not a bad thing, but for now… yeah.

Thank you for the ask, friend! Best!

[leavyes-a]

levi and the eye, part one: being an avatar is bad for your health. so is too much tv. (  content warnings for toxic relationships with eldritch gods that can’t conceive of human concepts of ‘healthy engagement’, child abuse, addiction, and implied terminal illness.  )

to say that levi has an unhealthy relationship with media would be putting it mildly. levi has been a fan of film since a young age, often rewatching vhs tapes over and over again to entertain themselves. the inherent escapism of imagining himself in a world completely separate from his own -- his controlling, abusive mother; his father who didn’t take action to stop it -- was appealing, and ‘appealing’ rapidly became ‘addictive’. he and his mother would often get into screaming fights about the amount of time levi spent watching movies and then writing about them, or talking about them, which he did endlessly whenever he got the chance.

his analytical skills secured him high grades in school, but hana never seemed to make the connection. when she limited what he could watch in the house, he snuck out to movie theatres. she barred the window. he convinced friends to buy him copies of film scripts or novel adaptations and slip them into his backpack at school, and he’d sit in his room for hours on end trying to visualize what the text would look like brought to life. he would write up his own film scripts based on books he liked, trying to nail down camera angles and shot order. he storyboarded on endless rolls of shredded paper he took from his father’s office. he plied his father with questions about working in the entertainment industry, but the answers never seemed to satisfy him.

sometimes being an avatar is about fear. sometimes it’s about love. sometimes it’s about both, and the consumption of the self via obsession. because giving in to an addiction to satisfy the itch almost never has positive results, and the entities know that. but when you’re filled with a hive that loves you unconditionally, or twisted into a form so heinous as to be unrecognizable but with complete control now over your own body, or so alone that even the faces of the people you swore to never forget start to slip away from you and leave you with a mind so empty that it borders on blissful, then the thing that’s killing you also becomes the thing that’s sustaining you. the powers feed the worst habits of their avatars, and it doesn’t care whether it’s “good for them” or not, because they’re getting something out of it.

taken by the eye, levi’s joy at consuming media and all the thinking that went into digesting a film or show or book became convulsive euphoria that leaves him bedridden for hours following a session. as his mind spirals out of his control to analyze and put together everything he’s witnessed, making leaps in logic to pair off symbolism faster than the human brain should be able to, and the eye swallows its tidal wave of fresh organized information, it double dips, and feeds on levi’s terror. because levi loses his hold on himself in these moments. he can’t pull back from the learning, because he needs the fresh stimulation of taking in something he hasn’t seen or looking at something in a new way to survive. his thirst for knowledge is grating his nerves down and putting an enormous strain on his body. but he loves the eye, because he would never be able to realize so much about his favorite things without it. he has to learn. he has to research. it’s the only thing that makes him happy anymore.

and though there’s something of the spiral in the fact that media is a prism, not a window, neither does media exist in a vacuum. there is truth to be found in the impact that it has on people in the world, and the way that it influences their fears. there is valuable knowledge in the history of media production that at times reveals the worst of mankind. film theorists don’t judge, or condemn, they just consume and understand. hooked up to the eldritch concept of looking, and knowing, and juggling secrets? they are consumed in turn.

[bluejayblueskies]

i cannot stop thinking about tma hell's kitchen au

(@f0xesand0wls thank you for enabling me)

- elias is the head chef, and peter and gertrude are his sous chefs. there are 20 total chefs in the competition: red team: jon, tim, georgie, daisy, naomi, agnes, gerry, jordan, helen/michael, oliver blue team: martin, sasha, melanie, basira, mike, jude, julia, jared, jane, manuela

- the black jackets are jon, martin, tim, sasha, georgie, and melanie, and the finalists are jon and martin. the winner is probably martin, but it doesn't really matter, because the actual plot of this is a jonmartin rivals-to-friends-to-lovers slowburn

- annabelle is the one who puts all of the film and audio together at the end. jmart watch the show once it's put on television and go 'what the fuck i didn't say any of that' because that's how reality tv is babey

- martin is one of those chefs who does poorly at the beginning but gets better and ends up in the final two. even though he's not on the same team as jon, jon is like 'this guy sucks' and maybe martin messes something up for jon early on and jon decides he does not like martin.

- jon is so nervous that he's going to screw up and get sent home early (he doesn't have formal culinary training and feels deeply underqualified) so he's very stiff and overly professional at the beginning. he relaxes over time as he becomes more confident in his own cooking and as he does well at challenges and dinner services.

- somewhere around chapter/episode 5, martin tells jon that he doesn't have any formal culinary training and that he said he did in order to get into the restaurant job he had prior to coming on the show. he's been cooking for his mother since he was ten though, and jon surprises himself by saying that that's a lot more impressive than studying technique in france or something. that's the catalyst of their transition from rivals into friends

- somewhere around episode 8, jude (who got switched to the red team a few episodes prior) gets eliminated, but on the dinner service before she does, there's an incident in the kitchen and jon's hand gets burnt pretty badly (not so badly that he has to go home, and he fights through the rest of dinner service because of course he does). he insists he doesn't have to go to the hospital for it, and elias reluctantly agrees and has the medic look at it. in the dorms later, martin helps jon unwrap it and put more burn cream on it and change the bandages and... yeah <3

- daisy and jon do not get along at first, and daisy actually tries to sabotage jon early in the season/fic. jon nearly gets eliminated because of it and he is not happy. then, a good few episodes later, the red team wins a challenge and they go on some sort of outdoorsy award and something happens and jon saves daisy from getting seriously injured. they're on better terms after that.

- when jon, tim, sasha, martin, melanie, and georgie get black jackets, elias (like every actual season of hell's kitchen) brings their family members/friends in for them to see. jon gets his grandmother, tim his brother, sasha her mother, georgie her best friend alex, and melanie some of her ghosthunt uk (the restaurant) friends. the only person martin has is his mother, and they tell him that she was too sick to come, but he can't shake the feeling that she just didn't want to. she didn't even agree to make him a video. it's a very awkward affair, and after the challenge (which tim wins) jon stands by martin while they're... idk, peeling 200 pounds of potatoes or something and they talk about it and they talk about a lot of their personal lives. for most of the competition, they're very aware that they're on camera at all times, but jon decides that being there for martin is more important than worrying about that.

- jon wins the next black jacket challenge and, when asked who he wants to invite on the reward, invites martin. they get to go wine tasting in a beautiful vinyard together and then they get some time to sit in the vinyard and just relax. martin probably realized he had a crush on jon around... episode/chapter 8? pretty soon after his admission that he doesn't have formal training. this episode is when jon realizes that he has a crush on martin, and the wine tasting suddenly seems very romantic and he gets very flustered. martin just thinks he's getting nervous since they're getting closer to the end of the competition.

- it's martin and jon in the finals. martin has tim, melanie, basira, and agnes on his bridage and jon has sasha, georgie, daisy, and gerry. in the middle of the entrees, something goes very wrong in martin's kitchen (not because of martin, because agnes burns like... ten racks of lamb or something ridiculous like that) and it looks like martin might not even be able to finish and he's freaking out just a little bit, so jon does something incredibly stupid and tells sasha to take charge of the kitchen for a moment and goes over into the other kitchen and pulls martin aside and takes martin's hands in his and is like 'it's okay, you're okay, everything's going to be okay. you're extremely talented and an amazing chef and an amazing person and i love you and this is not your fault and you're going to go back out there and get things back on track.'

jon goes back to his kitchen, elias yelling at him the whole way, and martin kicks agnes out and gets his kitchen back under control and they have no other issues that night. and martin's brain completely skips over the 'i love you' until the end of service, when the adrenaline wears off and they start to clear down and jon gives him this smile and suddenly martin remembers and he's like 'oh fuck'

but jon doesn't say anything about it so martin assumes he hadn't meant to say it, because of course he didn't, because they're competing for a job and $250,000 and he probably just heard jon wrong or something. jon probably said 'i love your cooking' and martin's just being stupid and letting his crush get away from him. so they both go back and sit in the dorms and wait for elias to call them up to his office. meanwhile, jon also remembers that he accidentally let i love you slip and he's having a bit of a crisis about it because on the one hand he meant it, but on the other hand he should not have said it then and martin hasn't said anything, so maybe he didn't even hear.

still, martin needs to thank jon. so he's eventually like 'thank you for what you did back there. i don't think i would have made it through service without what you said.' then, after a moment, because it is a competition: 'why did you help me? you could have let me drown and you'd have a secure win'

and jon just shrugs and says, 'because you needed help, and i... i care about you. i didn't want to see you fail. you are a good chef, martin, and i... i know you deserve this job just as much as me. you can go work at elias's restaurant and i can go back to mine and... and that'll be okay, if that's what happens'

and martin realizes suddenly that jon lives across the country from him normally and he doesn't know if he'll be able to see jon after this (chefs are busy people, after all, not a lot of time for family and such) and before he can really think about it he's like 'i wouldn't be okay with that' and then when jon just looks at him he clarifies, 'i... i don't want to just go back to living in [washington?], working all day and coming home to an empty apartment, and you'll go back to [new york?] and i... will i even see you again? because it's been so nice, being here, being with you, and i want to see you again, jon. every day.' he hesitates a moment, then decides fuck it, if i'm wrong, at least i'll only be embarrassed for a little while longer and says, 'what you said during service. did you mean it?'

and jon, tentatively, is like, 'that you're a good chef? yes, martin, i meant it, of course i did' and martin's like 'no, the... the other thing you said. right in the middle of it all. i- i don't know if i heard you right, and i just... i need to know if you meant it'

and it would be easy for jon to say no, to pretend like he didn't. but instead, he sits next to martin on the couch and takes martin's hand in his and nods and says, 'i... i've meant it for quite some time, i think' and he smiles at martin, a little bit shy, and martin's overwhelmed with affection and he reaches for jon's face, leans forward, and--

and the phone rings. unfortunately. because elias made a decision

- martin's door opens and jon's doesn't. jon thinks he should feel crushed, and he does feel disappointed, but mostly he's just so, so happy for martin. martin is stunned, and tim and sasha and georgie and melanie and basira and daisy are waiting for him below to congratulate him. martin's stuck in a round of thank yous when he turns and sees jon, who's run down the stairs to join the celebration and is looking at martin with those same eyes he would get when he was determined to win a challenge or finish a dish that needed two more minutes in one minute. and then jon just hugs martin, so tightly martin can barely breathe, and he mumbles into martin's neck, 'i would very much like to kiss you, but i very much do not want our first kiss to be on national television' and martin laughs and hugs jon tightly in return and mumbles back, 'i love you too, jon. just in case it wasn't obvious' and even though jon just lost, he's never been happier

- (they watch the show when it comes out together half a year later, in the little bit of free time they have around running their own respective restaurants, and they spend the whole time picking it apart

jon: okay i did not say that, where did they even get that from??

martin: god do i really look like that from behind...

jon: oh christ. martin, i- i think they thought i wanted to have sex with you. ugh, they've put on weird romantic music. red lighting. i hate this. i clearly did not--no, martin, don't give me that look, you know what i mean.

martin: wow, this makes us look like terrible chefs

and, at the end:

jon: christ, of course they were recording us in the dorms after the last service. this is a cooking competition, not a romance.

martin: eh, it was a bit of a romance.

jon: hush, i'm trying to watch. they're about to announce the winner. i don't have much hope for this chef martin; after all, he did burn that risotto back in episode 2--

martin, trying not to laugh while he glares at jon: oh my god jon let it go)

[subcorax]

various hugs as rated by jonathan sims, head archivist of the magnus institute, london

OG Archives Crew:

tim stoker pros: very large and buff, but also soft. will squeeze jon as tight and as long as he wants. is six foot whatever and jacked so he's way bigger than jon and can entirely envelop him, which is the closest thing jon's getting to a weighted blanket these days. cons: tim is an oldest and favourite cousin, which means that when he hugs people smaller than him, they're usually children. as a result, there is a roughly 30% chance that if jon goes in for a hug he'll get a hair ruffle and lifted slightly off the ground to go with it. overall rating: 9/10. tim gives truly excellent hugs.

martin blackwood pros: will literally give jon a hug whenever he asks for one without making it feel awkward, which is nice because jon almost always feels awkward talking to people. will also sometimes ask jon if he wants a hug if he's looking a bit pathetic lately. is made of 60% soft wooly jumpers and 30% stuffing, the most warm and comfortable hug. also usually strokes jon's back while he's at it, which is extremely nice. cons: sometimes if jon's leaning into the hug a bit too much martin will physically make him stop working and take a nap, which is not doing great things for jon's work ethic overall rating: 9.5/10. i may be in love with you, martin, but i do actually need to do work sometimes?

sasha james pros: casual hugger, doesn't make jon feel weird about it, just goes in for a quick hug and a peck on the cheek when she's heading out for the day, or if she feels like it. she smells very nice. he kind of wonders what shampoo she uses. cons: despite being sturdier than she looks, she is not quite large enough to apply the force that jon perhaps wants in a hug. overall rating: 8.5/10. delightful, but without the capacity for a proper bear hug a la martin or tim.

not!sasha pros: no. cons: you know when you're at a family gathering and a relative that you only distantly recognize the face and name of comes up and hugs you like, way too familiarly, and it's kinda cloyingly creepy? it's exactly like that overall rating: stranger/10. please never do that again.

Latter Days Crew

melanie king pros: has never in her life half-assed a hug. seems to be trying to break jon's ribcage, which he appreciates. cons: she is often very angry at him, and so does not hug him very often. overall rating: 6/10. good when he got it but he does not often get it.

basira hussain pros: she doesn't really do Full Hugs with jon, she's more likely to toss an arm around his shoulder and pull him against her side, kind of a Bro Side Hug situation, which actually goes a long ways towards making him feel Human and Included and Not Hated. good friend bro hug. cons: kinda lacking in creature comforts. basira is not very soft or demonstrative. not exactly a shoulder he would be comfortable crying on. overall rating: 7/10. he appreciates the sentiment.

daisy tonner pros: daisy WILL go in for a Full Hug with jon, especially after the buried. she is also Strong and will squeeze him, and often seems to need a hug as much as he does. sometimes smells like basira's perfume and sometimes like her own deoderant, both of which are nice. cons: she will make fun of him for leaving tear stains on her shirt. jon has never had a big sister but he thinks that this is what cain and abel were on about. overall rating: 9/10. fantastic except for the schoolyard bullying

Miscellaneous Archives Staff

elias bouchard pros: gives a surprisingly firm, steady hug. like, there's something almost paternal about it, jon just feels proud that elias is proud of him. also he's in a fancy suit and wears very expensive cologne, it just feels like hugging something kind of luxurious and expensive. cons: literally everything else about elias overall rating: latent parental issues/10. it was weird. he tries not to think about it.

gertrude robinson pros: jon never actually met gertrude, but all of the photos he's seen and her voice on the tapes reminds him of his grandmother, so he kind of imagines it'd be like hugging her. a balance between firm and frail, smelling vaguely like all old ladies start to smell like. cons: outside of the nostalgia factor for him, grandma hugs aren't actually that great overall rating: hypothetically, 3/10. he feels like he's got perfume stuck up his nose.

gerard kaey pros: seemed like a cool dude. taller than jon, and exceedingly kind. seemed like he would be really open to a hug. cons: he was a ghost when they met, so they could not hug. overall rating: hypothetically 9/10. jon's adding extra points out of guilt.

michael shelley pros: seemed pretty nice from what he's heard? cons: seemed pretty boring from what he's heard? overall rating: hypothetically 5/10. he seemed fine.

Various Other Avatars

peter lukas pros: very broad. soft belly. big coat. beard. definitely is capable of giving a Good Bear Hug. cons: literally everything else about peter lukas. also he'd probably be cold overall rating: MORE latent parental issues/10. this will never happen. jon's just kind of touch-starved at this point.

michael pros: very friendly about it. exceedingly friendly about it. seems truly delighted by the concept of hugging jon. cons: is equally truly delighted by the concept of stabbing jon. overall rating: ooo ow ouch pointy/10. mistakes were made.

helen pros: actually seems to like jon every now and again. smells like real estate agent perfume. no, he doesn't know how to explain it. it's like a professional scent. cons: stabbed jon again, but accidentally this time overall rating: ooooo ouch pointy but in a pantsuit/10. god he's getting desperate

jared hopworth pros: many arms to hug with cons: none of those arms are his. several of them are bulging with meat and bones the way arms are not supposed to. smells like raw steak. overall rating: 2/10. jon does not have standards anymore.

jude perry pros: very butch, which jon has learned to trust, in a hug partner cons: Literally Made Of Boiling Wax overall rating: hot/10. considerably more mistakes have been made.

georgina barker pros: it's georgie. jon knows georgie. jon fucking adores georgie. she is very smart and comfortable and soft and knows how much he likes having his hair scratched like that. cons: she has absolutely no compunctions about telling jon that he's a fucking idiot, and like sure, he deserves it, but can it wait until after the hug? overall rating: 8.5/10. can i have a cup of tea please georgie. no i will not be releasing you from the hug to let you go and make the tea.

the admiral pros: admiral cons: none overall rating: 10/10. the perfect hug.

[elven-child]

Tma for the fandom Q!

Favorite Male Character

.........I gotta say Martin because he's me and because of that during summer 2020 he was my Emotional Crutch but also I love him and Jon equally. I promise you it makes sense in my mind

Favorite Female Character

Helen because hhhhhhh she's so fucked up and the way Distortion plays tricks on everyone including the audience is 11/10 every single time. she's the worst and I love her so much

Least Favorite Character

in a love to hate way - Elias, but if we're talking about characters I genuinely hate then Jude Perry. sadists always make me go >:(

Favorite Ship

jonmartin broke me permanently, it's been 27 months and I still think about them ajajskkdkmfmf

Favorite Friendship

oh I have a Lot here actually, but I think the favourite title goes to Jon and Georgie, with an Honorable mention going to Melanie and Martin. also it's worth mentioning I'm obsessed with Daisy and Basira and the way they make each other worse despite being the most important people for each other. theirs is easily one of the most interesting dynamics I've ever seen

Favorite Quote

"I think our experience of the universe has value. even if it disappears forever" because its just. its the whole podcast in the nutshell GOD

Worst Character Death (if any)

again jonmartin's schroedinger's death makes me insane so it's the death (?) that's the worst in a sense that it makes me feel the most. but if we're talking about the death that hurts the most I think it's tim just because of how much he accepted it

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

the 183's I love yous because I'm an incurable romantic at heart

Saddest Moment

at first I thought "oh there's too many I can't just choose one" and then I remembered mag 170 exists

Favorite Location

Scottish safehouse has my heart but I also love the archives and a lot of statements locations, like the 188 one just because the idea is so incredibly creepy. and the ep 63 tunnels or lost johns cave. also the panopticon slaps actually

[supercasey]

What Your TMA OTP Says About You

By a dumb asexual who makes too many sex jokes

Jon/Martin: You project onto/kin at least one of these two fools, but no matter what, you are yearning for a relationship like theirs. You're also probably a theatre kid, at least spiritually.

Elias/Peter: You like the dynamic of Jonmartin, but you think it would be 10x better if Martin bullied Jon back and if they were both GILFs. You also probably have "Big Boy Man" as your ringtone.

Tim/Sasha: You believe that both of these characters deserved better, and you probably love the Archivist Sasha AU more than life itself. Also, Tim gets pegged.

Basira/Daisy: You are a hotbed of drama, which is completely unintentional on your part and you rarely participate in it at will; you just want some quality wlw content, and you will not be stopped from getting it.

Melanie/Georgie: You are completely done with Jon's shit, but you still find him somewhat endearing in his panic induced stupidity. You are also a wlw and want to live in a small apartment with your gf and cats, but only if the apocalypse is happening in the background.

Michael/Gerry: You like Jonmartin, but you also want to crank that shit to 100 and blast MCR in the background while they kiss. You also might kin Nico from PJO, and you are most certainly a scene kid.

Jon/Gerry: You are all about that sadboi content, and I honestly can't tell which of these depressed motherfuckers you kin, but I know you kin at least one of them.

Jon/Martin/Gerry: Same as Jonmartin, but you're dead certain that Gerry would be an amazing addition/middle man for them and that he would've gotten them into a relationship together by the end of season 1.

Gertrude/Agnes: There is literally nothing more heartbreaking yet addictive to you than starcrossed lovers that can never be together because of circumstances outside of their control. You're also gay.

Leitner/Gertrude: You honestly just find it so funny that Jonny Sims' parents voice these characters so that's why you ship them. You either hated or loved when they roasted Jon at the end of S3, there is no in-between.

Jude/Agnes: You are a Jude Perry kinnie/you want to set the world on fire beside the woman of your dreams. Probably a top.

Jon/Tim: You lived for the sassy bits between Tim and Jon in seasons 1-2 and you would give anything for Tim to have kissed Jon to shut him up midway through a rant.

Mike/Simon: You're here to love Mike Crew and fuck some GILFs. Press F to pay respects to our short king.

Jon/Michael: I don't know what's going on with you after S3, but dear God do you wanna fuck monsters, specifically if they look like a Bill Cipher humanization that you can only perceive while doing acid.

Jon/Elias: You are an Eliasfucker and you wear that badge with pride.

Martin/Peter: You are an Eliasfucker and you hide this fact at all costs. Also you probably have a very complicated relationship with your father.

Jon/Basira: You thought Tim was spot on about these two being good together; they're bookworm buddies!

Jon/Georgie: You cannot get enough of absolute off his shits college!Jon and frankly, good for you. You also want Georgie to peg you.

Melanie/Basira: Just a couple of gals being pals, and nothing is sexier than performing life-saving, non-consensual surgery on your GF so she doesn't start killing people... according to you, apparently.

Jonah/Barnabas: You heard Jonah say that he held affection for a character mentioned exactly one time even though he left him to die, and you went fucking feral. Tbh you just wanna get with a Victorian dude.

Jonah/Mordecai: This is just Elias/Peter but with more Victorian outfits and letters that would be considered incredibly scandalous, even for the era. Also it makes Elias/Peter 100x more uncomfortable, but I guess some people are into that???

Jon/Martin/Tim: Why be just friends when you can all be in a gay polyam relationship together and kiss? In other words, every fight between Tim and Jon has gutted you like a fucking fish.

Jon/Martin/Tim/Sasha: Same as before, but you stan the first season of the series so hard that people outside the fandom think it's an office comedy.

Gertrude/Elias: Somehow you came to the conclusion that if Elias got pegged then none of the bullshit in the series would've happened.

Melanie/Helen: You're similar to the Jon/Michael shippers in that you wanna fuck monsters, but more like the kind of monsters that make your eyes bleed and your brain melt when you fully perceive them.

Jon/Helen: You either started shipping this as a joke or to cope with the death of Michael, there is no in-between.

Jon/Nikola: You heard Jon admit that he got daily, fully body lotion massages from Nikola and you lost your fucking mind. Clownfucker.

Breekon/Hope: Breekon's statement made you cry for a hundred thousand years, and you will never be over it. Fuck getting a bunch of divorces like Lonelyeyes, you wanna stay with your soulmate until the end of time!

Nikola/Jane Prentiss: You want more wlw content, but specifically you want them to be cartoonish supervillains who can't stop kissing each other in the middle of trying to murder Jon.

Alright, that's all the one's I'm doing. Please don't send me any hate, these are all just meant to be jokes!

[eatspiderss]

Most the tma fandoms general opinions on the characters (by someone who has only been in the fandom for a week or two):

Jon: everyone loves Jon, ace king :) (also monster Jon rights)

Martin: very good, very cute, very gay, a fan favorite

Tim: I hope he's enjoying his kayaking trip :(

Sasha: Talanted, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopper, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before

Elias: you either love him or hate him

Peter: bi- big- big boy man

Gertrude: cool grandma 😎

Gerry: punk icon, cool grandson (kinda) 😎

Michael: love him <3

Basira: a queen absolutely iconic

Daisy: y'all are a bunch of simps for her but like same

Jude: (see Daisy)

Annabelle: (see Jude)

Helen: she's on that queen shit, no choice but to stan

Simon: I am honestly still unsure about this one but I usually see good things about him

The umbrella: disgusting, you're just like your father, we hate you, you useless filthy piece of junk

Georgie: Spooktacular we love her but please save her from those damn sponsorships

Melanie: knife wife, slaughter queen

Agnes: hot fire wife very pretty an absolute icon also Jude liked her so clearly she's top tier

Lietner: like with Elias you either love him or hate him and if you hate him you definitely stan Gerry

Breekon and Hope: idk about y'all but I actually liked them and Breekons statement was really sad :((

Jane Prentiss: you are either scared of her or you think she's a hot worm lady (idk why y'all think worms are attractive but thats not my problem)

Jonah Magnus: idk what y'all think but someone called him a Victorian dandy on his wiki so like that's neat

Alright I think that's all if there's more tell me which ones and maybe I'll do more

[emhasthoughts]

Gertrude and the cat-avatars, pt7

Summary: We meet the final three

A/N: I'm not planning for this to be the final part. I have another planned and if I ever come across a video or someone in chat talks about something their cats have done that I could get inspiration from, I'll probably write it. Hopefully those would be a bit more fun than the intros.

As normal, not beta read, just me, my document and low social battery.

Also big thanks to @dcartcorner for letting me write this all

Pt 1, Simon, Peter, Elias and Mike / Pt 2, Michael and Helen Distortion, Agnes / Pt 3, Annabelle, Jude, Oliver / Pt 4, John, Jane, Maxwell, Manuela / Pt 5, Jon, Martin, Sasha, Tim / Pt 6, Melanie, Daisy, Basira, Georgie / Pt 7, You're here! / Bonus, a visit to the vet / Halloween bonus!

Gertrude had basically no say in most of the cats that entered her home. But one of them had entered out of nowhere and refused to leave. It looked nearly… plastic. It wasn’t, Gertrude was sure of that. But she still had a plastic cat toy look. Gertrude did not like it. She still named the cat Nikola, including hope that Nikola would walk away as oddly as it had appeared. It never did.

Another one of the cats looked wrong in a way. Gertrude had originally shrugged the dirty cat to the side. Surely someone else would find the cat, take it to the vet and let it into a forever home. However it seemed like wishful thinking. 

The cat seemed healthy and sick at the same time. It looked like the cat got enough food to not starve, though the dirt made it seem like it didn’t have a home. It didn’t walk properly either. Constantly standing a bit oddly. As Gertrude got a closer look at the cat it looked as if one leg was shorter while one was longer than the other two. Gertrude knew enough about adoptions surrounding animals to know the chances of him being taken into a proper home was low. With a sigh Gertrude made an appointment at the vet.

After finding out that the legs most likely wouldn’t cause any problem and that he was otherwise healthy, he was taken to get a proper bath. Which went a bit better than Gertrude had originally thought. He had ended up with the name Jared, suggested by the veterinarian. 

The name did somehow crash with another cat that was taken in a bit later. It was a lanky black cat, though there were spots of orange. He had eyes oddly similar to Jon and Elias, as if he could see through Gertrude’s soul. 

A day after taking in the cat, Eric had been assigned to get the cats dinner as Gertrude was away on a short trip. When she came back Eric had gotten a bit attached. 

“His name is probably Gerard.” Gertrude told him.

“No.” Eric had answered. “No, I think he’s a Gerry.”

[thoriffix]

hows the tma entity survey going?

oh yeah! i might as well post the results now (if anyone hasnt taken it and fancies it its here (hope that link works))

it was genuinely really interesting to see! maybe im just a nerd but i like seeing where the spread is

this was the first question which the spiral won! not by much, the eye isnt far behind it, but it kinda makes sense, everyone here is mentally ill or simps for the distortion

the hunt, the dark and the extinction didnt get a single answer for this! i expected that w the extinction and also w the dark to an extent but the hunt is kinda surprising :0

second one was a MUCH bigger lead for the winners lol but the spiral wins out again! the stranger was winning for a while (thats my answer too) and it didnt end up far behind

but even more interestingly (to me at least) nobody answered the corruption, the dark or the desolation :0 fukcin rip jane prentiss no one wants to hear her 😔 /j

i think this one is the only graph where every single entity got an answer, and ironically corruption won out (maybe it scares people too much to enjoy hearing the statements lmao), followed closely by lonely and flesh! tbh i expected this one to be pretty varied, but its still fun to see!

the next one was the avatar popularity polls, and google displays the answers very poorly, so i decided to just tally up the most common answers myself

so in keeping with the spiral popularity, michael and helen absolutely shot ahead, followed by jon and oliver! there were loads of answers for this one: jude perry, manuela dominguez, gerry keay, mike crew, generally just a pretty big range of avatars which again i was pretty much expecting theres a lot to choose from lol (also shoutout to the person who called trevor herbert a gilf)

the next one was abt favourite statement! there didn't seem to be any standout winners, but i did notice peoples favs tended to be either very early on (like the first half of s1), or in season 5, which was a fun pattern - also just like, plot heavy/important eps? (another shoutout to the person who said desecrated host was several entities gangbanging a priest. thanks)

the next one was about reasoning, which im not gonna share bc there were a lot of them and they were all different and im tired, but there were a lot of interesting ones! personal favourite was "i love big pig" i hope big pig person is doing well

and then, the most important question

whoever said no, im coming to eat you /j

so that was the poll! if i get enough answers to change it dramatically ill probably post it again but for now thats the results

conclusion: spiral is the most popular by a long shot but its not actually the scariest, i think everyone just simps for the distortion and/or relates to it. i expected more martin kinnies. nobody likes the dark and like one person is scared of it. some people here are cowards who wouldn't punch elias. and most of all: i love big pig

[fakecrfan]

Meta knocking around in my head that I don’t have the focus to write currently

Basira and vulnerability.

Basira and Daisy trying to be each other in season 4.

Basira and Jon relationship meta: Accountability Partners Are Fun Excruciatingly Painful Good For Everyone!

Basira being short tempered and angry in season 4 is actually a sign of positive character development, even if not everything she does/says in season 4 is right.

Gertrude Robinson Was Right/Morally Justified (pts. 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.)

Why Jude Perry Is More Human Than Jon, Actually, And So Are Most Other Villainous Avatars.

Hey you know how Melanie was immediately knee-jerk furious at Jon for potentially gaslighting her with the slightest provocation, and then Helen “Gaslight” Distortion specifically took a shine to her more than anyone else? Yeah.... There Might Be Something To Examine There.

Gertrude Robinson and Gerry’s relationship.

Gertrude Robinson and Emma Harvey’s relationship.

People Getting Pissed At You Can Be As Much Of A Moral Anchor As People Being Nice To You.

Gertrude Robinson & Guns & Fandom Shorthands & Americanisms

What Georgie smoking in MAG 199 symbolizes.

Fandom Ass Discourse Is Never Actually About Asses It’s About Abstract Desirability (I think???)

Gertrude Robinson is sexy.

When is looking away from suffering you can’t stop a logical act of self-preservation that prevents compassion burnout and thus leaves you capable of positive action in other ways--and when is it deliberate ignorance for the sake of selfish comfort that leads to you helping less and less people because you know less and less what the problem is? (We don’t get to know) (Martin & Georgie meta).

Hey Wait A Second, Gertrude Didn’t Actually Kill Most Of Her Assistants????

When does insisting on learning more about suffering in the world actually cause you to help more, and when does does it just become a voyeuristic indulgence in the suffering of others and/or in your own masochistic guilt? (Jon & Elias meta)

[hyperfixationspam]

straight joHns hypothetical love interests ranked from not suicide worthy to hellworld

Georgie: im sure their romance was cute while it lasted but it does Not need to be revisited. best case scenario but still cringe

Genderbent Martin: this one is just funny

Sasha: i mean they had a nice friendship. plus i mean... at least it would be over soon. not that he wouldnt find a rebound ofc but we can dream

Agnes: if agnes gets more screen time that would be a sacrifice id be willing to make. not that the characterization would be good but i Would Like To See Her

Rosie: again. more rosie screentime is a net win

Helen: the inherent romanticism of. talking to someone about how you got stuck in a weird room idk. it made sense to martin

Basira: tim wouldnt see anything wrong with this. but ew regardless. basira would agree

Melanie: not canonically not into men but like.... shes a lesbian. obviously. also she stabbed him several times but thats secondary. i love their friendship i think theyre besties but..... GROSS

Jane: ?????????????

Annabelle: this is awful for a lot of reasons but most importantly GRRRRRR THATS MY WIFE!!!!!!

Jude: diversity win this twink is dating a butch lesbian who assaulted him

Julia: diversity win this twink is dating a different butch lesbian who tried to kill him

Nikola: ....

Daisy: i was gonna say bonus awful points if hes a man of color but if they make jon straight hes definitely gonna be white too. actually now that i think about it him being white might make it worse like "i forgive you <3" hate it no good way to look at it

Gertrude: thats his meemaw

Genderbent Elias: i would kill myself and take every single one of you out with me