#|| drawing shit like this is my love language
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Big Blue joins The Mandalorian Meets Hades Project!
#I was sitting on that dialogue for a week orz don't judge me here. their love language is insults#in my defence I forgot how to draw in the past weeks and needed to fuss with this a little to reset my brain#paz vizsla#dinpaz#pazdin#the mandalorian#the mandalorian fanart#hades au#din djarin#my art#I'm actively thinking about what trinkets to assign to Paz but if I don't post it now I never will#I figured Paz would be great in the Asterius role in-game even if he has more of a theseus like shit talking kind of vibe lol XD#Like make it a Din and Grogu vs Paz and Ragnar kind of battle#where Grogu can eventually three-shot the other kid but if Din so much as brushes past Ragnar he automatically instant loses#and will have to crawl back to beg for forgiveness#I didn't have it in me to draw out a pocket Paz next to pocket Din in the bg#and I don't trust myself any to make it to the arena in hades rn either XD I haven't booted up the game in months#so I had to rely on background screenshots from when I started this project lol#just enjoy how absolutely bit and massive Paz is okay? I can fret with my perfectionism in peace over here XD#never drawing that minigun again NEVER#next one should be Bo-Katan and co as the furies because I really want to draw up Axe and Koska as well#you know whenever I'll have some free time like in July XD#I'll save my very specific Hungarian issues with the Vizsla name because I'm too tired to type out all that rant here lol#BUT WHY IS IT WRITTEN WITH A “ZS” WHEN ABSOLUTELY NOBODY CAN PRONOUNCE IT RIGHT????#just write it with a Z or an S and let me have my peace please this is driving me up the wall every single time I think about it#why name the House/Clan after a hungarian dog breed when then nobody bothers to pronounce that ZS right??#it's not like anyone would know that you're dropping a letter there whatthehell why#you're robbing me of precious hours of sleep here every second week#*cough* okay maybe you are not spared from my rant oops
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Little doodle of V2.0 Earth!
Notes/lore (?) Under the cut!
The creator decided a slimmer look on her would be best after the attack of bloodmoon. You know, to make her more conventionally attractive and, therefore, make him look better.
But being changed from a fuller body to a tinier one wasn't very pleasing for Earth. In fact, it was very uncomfortable and even more considering that she was already in not so good terms with her father.
Thankfully, she was able to have Moon and Solar do a few tweaks on her after the whole forgor incident. Making her appreciate the body she was in a bit more, but not making her miss her previous size any less.
With time and other events, she is capable of getting a third body and a fourth design. One that was built entirely with love, and that represents the long way she has gone through since she arrived at the Superstar Daycare!
Also yeah I fought the creator for custody and now I'm her father and I shall treat her like best daughter on the whole solar system cus she IS. :)
#lunar and earth show#the lunar and earth show#laes earth#tsams earth#drawings#ramble tag#digital art#ill draw her four designs at some point#the last part is a joke#but i do love her like my daugther#i know i say it a lot but thats my child ok#im sorry if my grammar is bad. english is not my first language and i generally write like shit
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One of the things I love about Glass Onion is the way that the camera and music work together to tell nonverbal jokes.
Like when Benoit basically has to hold Miles' hand to get him to the conclusion that someone reset the puzzle box Benoit lies about receiving:
Benoit asks if it's possible that someone reset the box, and Miles then declares that someone must have reset the box like it is this huge reveal - and the camera zooms out while the music subtly swells as though he really has figured out something smart, when actually he literally restated what Benoit just said.
#original#I love the reveal that he's not even a smart con artist he's just a piece of shit#he's just a shameless copycat that people keep enabling to do bad things bc they assume he knows what he's talking about bc he's rich#like that line in Fiddler on the Roof - 'it won't matter if I'm wrong or if I'm right cuz you're rich they think you really know!'#glass onion#knives out glass onion#benoit blanc#Daniel Craig#ed norton#I hope the YouTuber sideways does a video about this because he does incredible music theory videos about movie scores#and I bet there are a bunch of hidden meanings within the music that I have no idea how to pick out#that man is like a wizard to me I don't understand how someone can understand music that much!#So cool!#I started this movie like 2 hours ago and I'm barely half an hour in cuz I keep stopping to write film theory essays on Tumblr#oh Adderall you cad!#I have no regrets I feel like this is helping me understand film better. i care a lot about the language of Storytelling#and I must say my favorite medium is film. I am writing a graphic novel right now but if I knew I could just skip that part and make it#into a show. I would do that. I don't wanna draw that much! I like drawing! but I want to see it as a show!!#this is too many drawings!!!!!#but for various reasons the film industry is not really a great place for me - or even possible as a physically disabled person#hard to work yourself up to the director's chair when all the entry positions involve standing for 14 hours at a time#I hope that if I ever do manage to make my graphic novel into a TV show that I will maintain enough control over the project to ensure#accessible hiring practices and workplaces#but in the meantime I guess I have to make waaaay too many drawings#no I can't shorten the story I don't have that kind of control it is an epic saga and the world's longest Slow Burn and that is that
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literally so fucked up i can’t realistically just do socio-communication research my entire life. why must i have a “career” to “make money” and “care for myself”. i want to study fujoshis.
#i wanna study HOW language shapes our perceptions and WHAT rules do we put in place#and WHY people tend to what they do!!!!!!!!! i wanna study the concept of fandom and personal experiences and queer theory and EVERYTHING#like. i said fujoshis above bc like. the idea is ‘perverted women’— WHY? what tends to draw them to MLM content?#what tropes do we see echoed in the works and how does that reflect on personal and societal expectations/desires#idk this is just word vomit but like !!!!#my FAVORITE courses in college were learning communication theory and while part of me wishes i went for a pure comm theory degree#beyond academia there just…. isn’t really a maintainable Future in that (and academia is very competitive and expensive)#in an ideal world i would do some kind of sociology communication psychology mix Thing bc i LOVE LEARNING ABT IT AND EXPOLRING IT!!!!!!#I WANNA KNOW EVERY IN AND OUT ABT HOW PPL WORK!!!! I WANNA KNOW THE OUTLINES AND THEORUMS AND SHIT MADE BEFORE ME AND I WANNA ADAPT THEM#but instead it’s like. booo we hate your degree 🍅🍅🍅🍅 go work AT&T sales floor 🍅🍅🍅
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LIFE UPDATE !! <3
GUYSYSUGYVFUICHJOPSHIGUFYDUIHWOSPCIJOHIGUFYSGUHIJOCD IM GOING TO UNIVERSITY THIS SEPTEMBERRRRRRRRR TO STUDY MEDICINEEEEE
TWO YEARS. TWO YEARS OF PAIN WENT INTO THIS OH MY GODDDDDDD I CANT BELIEVE I MADE IT
I STILL REMEMBER MY GERMAN TEACHERS SAYING NO WHEN I ASKED TO BE PREDICTED A*. I REMEMBER GETTING B IN MY BIOLOGY END OF YEAR AND CRYING MY EYES OUT THINKING I COULDNT APPLY ANYMORE. I REMEMBER THE DISAPPOINTMENT EVERY SINGLE TIME I PUSHED HARD FOR CHEMISTRY BUT DIDNT PUSH HARD ENOUGH NONE OF IT MATTERS ANYMORE IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#in case u guy s wanna know i got A* in german A in bio & chem AND I WAS TWO MARKS OFF BIOLOGY A* BTW#I CANT BELIEVE MY DUMBASS SOMEHOW MANAGED TO PULL THIS OFF#7 marks off chem A* LIKE maybe I'm not the dumbest person in the world#spent yesterday drawing and playing fortnite afterwards bc I didn't know what to do with myself JODIUYGFUGHIAJOIHG#BTW I GOT FULL MARKS IN MY GERMAN WRITING PAPER I AM NEVER LETTING GO OF THIS MY TEACHERS THOUGHT I WAS SO SHIT AT ESSAYS OMG#i have NEVER loved der besuch der alten dame so much#and maybe das leben der anderen is a better film than i give it credit for#i used to hate biology with my life BUT SHOUTOUT MY STUDY GROUP AND MY BIO WIFE THEY SAVED ME I SWEAR#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH#im gonna start studying more grammar + listening to more german music + learning more vocab bc i REFUSE to let that language go now. lmao#life update#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i ll prob edit this later bc i said so much ahhaah
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being an artist is so cool did you know you can just draw things for people if you want. Dude
#every once in a while I’ll look at my friends ocs or designs by someone I follow and go man I’d love to draw that#and then I do and like holy shit dude#and then u can show it to them and they can see it? Peace and love#drawing art of my friends dnd characters after sessions is the most fulfilling thing in the world#love language of i think your characters are so cool can I make them real for you
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Many of you, guys, perceive Lithuania the same way English colonizers perceived Indian women in sari. Shall I tell you this story?
#it's not like I mind ships or national clothes but i wish there were more different perspectives on actual history and actual culture#for example people who draw India or Kazakhstan#every time it's just their national clothes. which is okay but#i wish they drew India as a YT mathematician because yk#Indians are veeeery famous for explaining difficult problems easily#India is not their folk clothes only and perceiving it as such is no different from imperialistic thinking#same with Qazaqstan. you guys know they don't dress like that on daily basis right?#you guys know they're the richest Asian country right?#I've never seen people drawing e.g. Lithuania just interacting with any other country except the popular ships#where are my jokes about India being a second great grandparent to Lithuania???#Lithuanian language is considered to be the closest to Sanskrit. also Lithuania loves Krishnaits#come on man use your imagination and ability to read news and connect the dots it's not that hard and it's not forbidden#where is Lithuania interacting with England?? they have lots of business together.#where is Lithuania listening to USA complaining about UK?? it's such a wide space for jokes and funny jokes#which i don't draw because i have studies#where is Lithuania interacting with Italy? google Bona Sforza#you guys perceive Lithuania like some kind of isolated colony. and you do the same shit with Ukraine and Belarus and Latvia and-
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welcome back to I Obsess Over Mine’s Face Too Much And The Subtle Way He Expresses today’s episode This Shit
#snap chats#i remembered i can make gifs so if i ever do this shit again i can provide my evidence <3#ANYWAY NO PLEASE I JUST. I JUST LOVE THE WAY HIS EYES SHIFT AND HOW HIS EYEBROWS TWITCH#god say what you want about Y3 but it really was phenomenal with body language and expressions#like you can just FEEL mine's hesitancy and his hurt here#GOD even his outburst to kiryu after this is so good#like obviously he's enraged and pissed but he's also hurt by the fact he knows kiryu's right- he just doesnt want to admit it#UGH so good rooftop scene really was Peak wasnt it#definitely worth the hell of playing the rest of the game--#anyways yeah i was taking a break from drawing mine to gush about mine wow what else is new#ill have that doodle finished in a sec ima just eat real quick
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What if I tried to write a cowboy au except the only cowboy things I know are Trigun and Cowboy Bebop. What then
#i would not write a very good cowboy au is what#though i AM already taking creative liberties w Christianity lore for this (dw about it) so i might as well make up my own cowboy-land lore#i'll call it: two cowpokes alike in love and religious trauma. very catchy#something something working through religious guilt#something something homage to a Christian book series about angels that changed me on a foundational level as a kid#i also wish I were better at drawing western stuff like. i need to praccy So Bad. horses? no. cowboy outfits? no. cowboy HATS? hell no#am i religious? no. but Christianity is my first language. and in some respects I miss it.#meposting#my writing thoughts#writing#that's all the info you get on this for now bc idk if i'll even make progress on this shit. oh well it'll be fun regardless
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Nervous giggles
Even more nervous giggles
There are so many professional paintings here, so many technically advanced, highly impressive works, and I'm just like [slaps some crayons down] y- yeehaw,,
I'm keeping the Escape Motions site Exciting. keeping it Interesting and Ridiculously Colorful
#pikaposts#alo(e) art#someone commented on False Moon telling me they love my style bc it's 'very cheery!'#it's still so baffling to me that expressing my horrors is always interpreted as whimsical joyful fun#i like to say that's neat! that's it's so nice i can make good things from the bad! but i also#can't help but feel like i just speak a different language from everyone else and i'll never be able to translate well enough#to be properly understood. but i mean! it shouldn't Really matter. if i Really wanted to get my point across i could try to paint more like#munch. everyone understands the scream. a gaping mouth and a blood-red sky doesn't leave much room for contentment let alone joy.#my jellyfish painting is about the wonders of the ocean and False Moon doesn't seem that different! so idk why i'm always surprised#but aNYWAY.#i'm just bein a silly goose. the real point here is that the contest i entered is now in the judging phase and the results will#be posted May 10th... i'm gonna be running around in circles until then#i definitely don't Think i'll win but holy shit it'd be wild if i did. the prizes are art tablets i could never dream of affording#but even if i don't win i get a discount on all Escape Motions stuff in the future! so it'll be easier for me to upgrade to#Rebelle 6 <3 it has CLIPPING LAYERS and i want it so damn bad. the lack of clipping layers is my only issue w rebelle 5#bc i'm indecisive and especially when drawing characters i often do my lineart in brightly colored sections#of course that's not the only better thing abt rebelle 6-- it's got some other SUPER cool stuff#it's so fucking nice to be able to paint digitally and still have all the texture. hell yeah hell yeah#...sweet din i like to infodump when it comes to art huh. it IS one of the Most Important Things to me so i suppose that makes sense#tldr; painting. yippee!! [insert confetti cannon emoji here bc i'm on desktop rn]
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im watching a mcelroy family clubhouse video the brothers streaming show. IDK how to explain why but theyre showing comics they drew at the request of their comics illustrator who did the art for a series they make based on their podcast. ok oof so much context sorry itll be quick. and its just so sweet to see what their art looks like. Its crazy some people dont draw like thats so personal and revealing. To me its like an avenue of communication and becoming someones friend, seeing their artstyle. I wish everyone could just be open to drawing a comic panel that they try their hardest and also care about?
#em yaps#ok sorry m high ive been kinda depressed lately but im starting a new job yakno trying to get my whimsey out before i wont be able to anymo#anyway#this is so charming#i love earnest art no matter what#idk im losing it a little bit u know#its so. hard to be facing change but have to wait for it to hit like#knowing youre gonna be sick in a week after ur friends start reporting colds#idk#do you think its ok to be scared of everything forever? maybe thats just what im like and i shouldnt feel like i gotta fix that#its so nice when you ahve a friend who starts drawing its like you have a new way to talk#like another language#oh shit its exactly like that#i remember in hs i wouldmake my buds draw with me sometimes or write notes to me that felt similar#but i always felt like i had to convince someone to actually let themselves do it sincerely and with me ? yaknow?#kinda like when ur a kid and u wanna play toys with someone but they wont take you seriously#earnestness.....#i think thats the most important thing on earth
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huh maybe im experiencing some self confidence issues
#i think i can brute orce the fuck out of this#cbt all up in my cranium#anyway. im smart and im perfectly decent at msot stuff#im charming and hot#i totally believe all of that#yeah do that thing when you dont do the negative self language#fuck that guilt that is trying to be the ground below your feet and closing your troat#i fail at shit so what#im still good at stuff#uhh im having a violent reaction to this#so its definelty necessary#okay okay lets go slow. i have nice tits. my hair is fluffy. my eyes are pretty#onto the harder stuff#i am nice and i have people that love me#i can draw well. it looks good when i draw. it looks good. i am not wasting my life#i try my best. i can survive in the modern world. i am not reliant on my mother#i am not fucking up my brother irreversably. im trying my best to help him grow up safe and loved#my family cares for me and doesnt actually think im a failure that is failing them specifically#because im not. im doing as good as i could be and it is good enough. im good enough.#oof i feel weird okay okay lets keep at i#dial it back thou. I cook well and i am organised#that sounds like shit with my adhd but i try and i have so many systems in place and#when you put strain on the systems you see that i have systems and they are ridicukous but they hold#where my peers dont. none of them have even a semi ordered calendar#i can and will get a decent job this month and it will be fine with everything else at home#i will move out and its alright to want to move out#im not being some sort of ungratefull child that is leaving my family in a hard situation if i do#and if my mother deckdes to cut all contact because i want to mvoe out then she will be in the wrong not me#im trying so hard to be there when ny brother needs me and im not that good at it but#im still trying and thats good enough even if im not perfect at it
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obviously the best way to become a better writer is to read real books but there’s so many things that annoy me in fic that i feel like should be able to be addressed by simply READING MORE FANFICTION. i’m going to be mean here but so often i will see things like the way people use commas (or more accurately, don’t use them), or calling characters “the blond” “the younger man” etc, or idk those are the main examples on my mind at the moment but other shit like that. and i’m like surely even if you don’t read books you read other fanfic right??? do you not think it sounds bad when other fic reads like this???
#like do you not have a sense of what sounds good and bad when you read?? even if you’re only reading fic?????#the commas really get to me#idk man i have a lot of insecurities with my own writing mainly i feel that i am not creative enough to come up with evocative descriptions#i love writing dialogue but i struggle with the narrative parts of writing prose#and similarly i have a hard time coming up w ideas for plots and stuff!#like that is just not my strong suit i would say i struggle with. creativity.#but i’m truly like how are people still referring to characters as ‘the taller man’ and shit. like isnt everybody always talking about#how much they hate that#there’s a drawfee bit where they’re joking like ‘drawing is easy just look at it and draw what you see’#and sometimes that is how i feel about writing even though i know it doesn’t work like that <3#like literally just read something good and write it like that <3#anyway the solution to this IS to read real published books#bc they will be professionally edited and you won’t be getting things like ‘’hi’ he said smiling’#real books are not immune to bad writing i’m sure you might still encounter some ‘the younger man’ ‘the taller man’ bullshit#but it’s. better.#anyway disclaimer i am not talking about people whose first language is not english#although a lot of times those authors are the least guilty of these crimes anyway so#r.txt
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*is literally fighting it’s body tooth and nail to stop it from going to sleep*
#I’m already tired and I just. im fucking terrified at what I’ll see#I see things in my nightmares that are impossible to describe in any human language#if I could draw then I’d make art of them#but when I see these things it’s truly like I’ve been dropped into the deepest pits of hell#and the deepest darkest voids of time itself#there’s shit I’ve seen that I wouldn’t even dare to talk about it irl or on here#bc they’d threaten to find me irl and influence circumstances to cause my death and the death of my loved ones#and for the entire day after I wake up from one of these nightmares#the things I saw almost seem to ‘contact’ me during the day#like I’ll see a weird shadow in the shape of said thing#or someone will say a phrase that makes me feel like something ominous is about to happen#like they’re secretly warning me about the things I saw trying to kill me#and signaling secretly what I should do to avoid death#I hear random stuff too. just random voices. most of the time they don’t say anything resembling any language#it’s high pitched ringing or screaming or just gibberish#but the paranoia persists for days afterward#and this happens every. single. night. when I have a nightmare#bc there’s no ‘mild’ nightmares for me. they’re all deeply unsettling and stay with me#and they’ll tell me to do stuff like keep two bottles of water in both my room and mom’s#at all times otherwise I’ll die. like it feeds into my ocd compulsions#yes im always in mental hell but u just learn to deal with it
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chinese room 2
So there’s this guy, right? He sits in a room by himself, with a computer and a keyboard full of Chinese characters. He doesn’t know Chinese, though, in fact he doesn’t even realise that Chinese is a language. He just thinks it’s a bunch of odd symbols. Anyway, the computer prints out a paragraph of Chinese, and he thinks, whoa, cool shapes. And then a message is displayed on the computer monitor: which character comes next?
This guy has no idea how the hell he’s meant to know that, so he just presses a random character on the keyboard. And then the computer goes BZZZT, wrong! The correct character was THIS one, and it flashes a character on the screen. And the guy thinks, augh, dammit! I hope I get it right next time. And sure enough, computer prints out another paragraph of Chinese, and then it asks the guy, what comes next?
He guesses again, and he gets it wrong again, and he goes augh again, and this carries on for a while. But eventually, he presses the button and it goes DING! You got it right this time! And he is so happy, you have no idea. This is the best day of his life. He is going to do everything in his power to make that machine go DING again. So he starts paying attention. He looks at the paragraph of Chinese printed out by the machine, and cross-compares it against all the other paragraphs he’s gotten. And, recall, this guy doesn’t even know that this is a language, it’s just a sequence of weird symbols to him. But it’s a sequence that forms patterns. He notices that if a particular symbol is displayed, then the next symbol is more likely to be this one. He notices some symbols are more common in general. Bit by bit, he starts to draw statistical inferences about the symbols, he analyses the printouts every way he can, he writes extensive notes to himself on how to recognise the patterns.
Over time, his guesses begin to get more and more accurate. He hears those lovely DING sounds that indicate his prediction was correct more and more often, and he manages to use that to condition his instincts better and better, picking up on cues consciously and subconsciously to get better and better at pressing the right button on the keyboard. Eventually, his accuracy is like 70% or something -- pretty damn good for a guy who doesn’t even know Chinese is a language.
* * *
One day, something odd happens.
He gets a printout, the machine asks what character comes next, and he presses a button on the keyboard and-- silence. No sound at all. Instead, the machine prints out the exact same sequence again, but with one small change. The character he input on the keyboard has been added to the end of the sequence.
Which character comes next?
This weirds the guy out, but he thinks, well. This is clearly a test of my prediction abilities. So I’m not going to treat this printout any differently to any other printout made by the machine -- shit, I’ll pretend that last printout I got? Never even happened. I’m just going to keep acting like this is a normal day on the job, and I’m going to predict the next symbol in this sequence as if it was one of the thousands of printouts I’ve seen before. And that’s what he does! He presses what symbol comes next, and then another printout comes out with that symbol added to the end, and then he presses what he thinks will be the next symbol in that sequence. And then, eventually, he thinks, “hm. I don’t think there’s any symbol after this one. I think this is the end of the sequence.” And so he presses the “END” button on his keyboard, and sits back, satisfied.
Unbeknownst to him, the sequence of characters he input wasn’t just some meaningless string of symbols. See, the printouts he was getting, they were all always grammatically correct Chinese. And that first printout he’d gotten that day in particular? It was a question: “How do I open a door.” The string of characters he had just input, what he had determined to be the most likely string of symbols to come next, formed a comprehensible response that read, “You turn the handle and push”.
* * *
One day you decide to visit this guy’s office. You’ve heard he’s learning Chinese, and for whatever reason you decide to test his progress. So you ask him, “Hey, which character means dog?”
He looks at you like you’ve got two heads. You may as well have asked him which of his shoes means “dog”, or which of the hairs on the back of his arm. There’s no connection in his mind at all between language and his little symbol prediction game, indeed, he thinks of it as an advanced form of mathematics rather than anything to do with linguistics. He hadn’t even conceived of the idea that what he was doing could be considered a kind of communication any more than algebra is. He says to you, “Buddy, they’re just funny symbols. No need to get all philosophical about it.”
Suddenly, another printout comes out of the machine. He stares at it, puzzles over it, but you can tell he doesn’t know what it says. You do, though. You’re fluent in the language. You can see that it says the words, “Do you actually speak Chinese, or are you just a guy in a room doing statistics and shit?”
The guy leans over to you, and says confidently, “I know it looks like a jumble of completely random characters. But it’s actually a very sophisticated mathematical sequence,” and then he presses a button on the keyboard. And another, and another, and another, and slowly but surely he composes a sequence of characters that, unbeknownst to him, reads “Yes, I know Chinese fluently! If I didn’t I would not be able to speak with you.”
That is how ChatGPT works.
#txt#ai shit#it’s not a perfect analogy#chatgpt doesn't think the symbols have no meaning#rather it doesn't think at all#all it does is the maths#but still#effortpost
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don't walk away, oh, when the heart is yearning
#why do i draw without zooming in its like i forget thats an option#oc stuff#royaltines#your primary love language is touch -> your wife wont let you touch her after you lost your kid -> well shit#dusko is like hey my lady you werent here when he was a teenager but ive seen this before and i think hes back to being actively suicidal#hes pulling out his feathers again and thats never a good sign#but eventually fenrir learned to use his words and merope finally learned how much touch means to him so they figured it out together#even if talking it through was a bit painful#never a nice thing to hear that your action or lack thereof would hurt the love of your life that much
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