#|| ' for what i have done and failed to do — i am sorry . ' || { about // dirge }

[stellaluna33]

#YESSSS. stella this is so important #he is not allowed to know that at 17 he has to go years thinking ‘there is something unexplainably wrong about me and i am just bad. i will #never be good like other kids are good. and then at like 25 he gets diagnosed and cries about it to rory maybe. <- and she gets diagnosed #with it also like right after college but she compartmentalizes and doesnt tell anyone or think about it until jess gets diagnosed and then #she’s like oh wait. hmm #and then resulting breakdown etc. also then she tells lorelai about it and wants it to be a moment of emotional connection but lorelai #does not respond in the way rory wants because 1 she def has undiagnosed adhd as well and feels a sense of internalized badness about her #own shortcomings bc of it and 2 she feels a sense of having failed as a mom due to the fact that she couldnt realize rory was struggling #sooner. its a whole mess but theyll be okay #LOL wait stella sorry for going crazy with adhd headcanons on your post… does asp have adhd is that why all of her characters are Like That. (tags via @softspot4monarchs )

Seriously, do NOT apologize, because I think about this all the time. 😂 Because LISTEN: Rory is TOTALLY that girl who flies under the radar as a kid, because she hyperfocused on school and compensated for her lack of INTERNAL organization by making up lists and systems for everything, and SURE she makes bizarrely impulsive and self-destructive decisions sometimes, but she's not like that NORMALLY!!! And SURE, she needs Very Specific Circumstances to be able to focus on studying in College, but that's fine! And then... she graduates from school and her life falls COMPLETELY apart. 😅😭 And LORELAI, well... Do we really have to talk about Lorelai? She's like. A TEXTBOOK example, haha. And then there's Sookie... And Liz... And...

So, to answer your question, I am SO convinced there's SOMETHING going on with ASP, because almost all of her characters ARE Like That. 😂 And she's like, "Well, this is just normal, this is just what Real People DO." And I'm like, "Hmmm... I'm not sure that IS what 'most people' would do, but it's certainly a lot like what CERTAIN groups of people might do..."

And then I read an article where she talked about needing the tv blaring loudly in a different room to get any writing done, and I was like, "Ah-HA! I KNEW it. I know What you Are." 😂😂😂. Anyway, it's Wrong to armchair-diagnose Real People and blah blah blah, but her CHARACTERS are NOT Real People and I will Armchair Diagnose them all day long. 😂

I personally am very attached to the headcanon that Jess has ADHD, but I think it's EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that he doesn't know that about himself. Adult Jess who's gone to therapy can know that he has ADHD, but not when he's a teenager. Firstly, it wasn't something that was as widely diagnosed and accepted when we were growing up in the 90s (it was only just beginning to be talked about, and a lot of people didn't even believe it actually existed), but ESPECIALLY for a kid like Jess, in low-income, crowded schools with no resources, and with a parent who didn't know enough or care enough or have funds enough to pursue evaluation. No, what happens to a kid like Jess is that he just gets labeled a "Bad Kid." And I think that's actually CRUCIALLY important to his character as we saw it on the show. That nobody noticed or cared or bothered to ask WHY his behavior was the way it was- all they noticed was that his behavior was disruptive and inconvenient and troublesome. And that made him a Bad Kid. It's hugely important to his character and his place in the show that nobody- not even himself- knows what's "wrong" with him. (I also don't think by any stretch of the imagination that this is the ONLY thing "wrong" with him either)

[averillaratargaryen]

‘The Bitter Bond.’

Chapter XXI

As the next morning had come, Daerlyssa had awoken in her bed, alone as she usually would.

Except, after learning of Aegon’s failed relationship, it felt different, now that she had more of an understanding.

…

“You told her?” Aegon let out a groan in frustration.

“I had no choice, I’m sorry” Aemond responds, letting out a sigh, “like it or not, she is still your wife. She worries for you.”

“I do not need her to worry. I am fine” Aegon responds.

“Aegon, you were drunk to a point that you began to kiss her” Aemond sighed.

“I did what?” Aegon shrieked.

“Keep your voice down, or mother will hear you!” Aemond let out an aggressive whisper.

Their private conversation was put to hold, when there was a knock at Aemond’s back door.

“It is me. Daerlyssa” she whispered.

In order for her not to get caught, Aemond was quick to open the door, pulling her in as he closed the door behind her.

She turns to face Aegon, who stood staring at her, blankly.

“I just- it was morning so-?” Daerlyssa stuttered.

“He knows” Aemond sighed.

“Knows what?” Daerlyssa was quick to spin her head towards her uncle, almost getting caught with whiplash.

“That i told you of him and Erich” Aemond responds.

“Oh” Daerlyssa nods, slowly turning away as she held the back of her neck, due to the sharp pain of her sudden movement, “right. That.”

“Look, i am fine” Aegon assured the two, “after all, it is only fair. I had gotten married and he had to live with the idea of me sharing a bed with a woman. Now, i have to suck it up and do the same.”

“Aegon, he’s moved to an entire different city” Aemond sighed out, “it is different.”

“He will still.. visit. I’m sure” Aegon responds.

“It is okay if you are upset Aegon. We are here, to help you” Daerlyssa sighed, as she went to take a hold of Aegon’s hand.

Yet Aegon took a step back, swatting his hand away.

“I do not need your sympathy. From neither of you” Aegon responds, “i am fine.”

“Aegon..”

“I said i am fine!” Aegon was quick to take a step forward, as he had got into Daerlyssa’s face, his anger consuming him.

“Take a step back” Aemond placed his hand against Aegon’s chest, as he pushed him away lightly, from getting close to her.

Turning his head to the side, Aemond notices the worried look on Daerlyssa’s face.

“Is everything alright?” He asks, noticing a shortness in her breath.

“Y-yes, of course” Daerlyssa responded yet Aegon’s anger had frightened her, as it had reminded her just of Daemon’s anger, and how quickly he was to escalate matters.

“I’m sorry” Aegon apologises, turning away from the two as he wished to compose himself.

Aemond gives Daerlyssa a look, as he wondered if she really was okay, but given her bad habits, it was easy to recognise when she was not at ease.

“Stop that” He spoke in a low tone, separating her fingers.

As the two spoke in hushed whispers, Aegon had turned back around, curious as to what was going on.

Aemond and Daerlyssa hadn’t a clue, of Aegon watching them, as the two had become occupied in their own conversation for a split moment.

“Daerlyssa, what have you been doing to your hands?” Aegon spoke, causing the two to jump and face Aegon yet again.

Daerlyssa placed both her hands behind her back, as she shook her head no, “nothing. Nothing important.”

Aegon strides forward toward her, as he pulls her hands from her back, taking a look to her reddened, sore fingers.

“Did you know of this?” Aegon looks up in Aemond’s direction.

“Yes, i did” Aemond sighed in response.

“And you didn’t think to tell me of it?” Aegon asks.

“This is not about me” Daerlyssa sighed, pulling her hand away once again, “this is about you, Aegon. Recently you have been coming home a lot more drunk than usual. If I had known?..”

“If you had known then what? There is nothing you could have done” Aegon responds, “what i need to know is what else you speak to Aemond about, that you do not tell me.”

“It is not important” Daerlyssa responds, “and perhaps i could not have stopped Erich from leaving, no. But i could have helped in speaking with you. Making your days a little better.”

“You’re avoiding my question. Both of you. But okay” Aegon tilts his head, amused at both his brother and wife that stood beside one another, “and as i have said, I am fine. I do not need sympathy.”

Aemond and Daerlyssa look toward one another with a sigh, before she turns back to her husband, “let’s return back to our chamber. Who knows what will happen the longer we stay here and end up caught.”

…

Returning back to their chamber, Daerlyssa closes the back door behind her, turning to face the man who now crossed his arms in front of his chest, staring back at her.

“Something is going on between you and my brother.. but I am confused?” Aegon scoffs.

“What do you mean? Nothing is going on” Daerlyssa let out a light chuckle, wishing to escape past him.

“Firstly” he took a step in front, to stop her from walking away, “the two of you seemed content. For a very long time too, which I found weird after what he had put you through.”

“I do not hold grudges” Daerlyssa shrugged.

“He seems to know you quite well, yet he tells me that Helena speaks of you. I find that quite hard to believe, my sister is a fool she does not know the time of day” Aegon scoffed.

“Do not be cruel. Your sister is a lovely woman” Daerlyssa responds.

“My point is-! You seem to have formed some sort of bond.. and then the past month have been avoiding one another. Aemond had been distant. Cold. And neither of you seem to have spoke. Now, all of a sudden it is as though you are back to normal” Aegon responds.

“Aegon you are reading far too into this” Daerlyssa responds, “Aemond is… your brother. My uncle, nothing more. He has been caring towards me, yes. But as have you. The three of us have formed a friendship, it is not just me and Aemond. And I’d like to think the reasoning of our marriage to be another reason he and I are.. civil.”

“Just know, I’m watching you both. Very clearly” Aegon responds, “because I hate liars. I’d rather be told the truth.”

“Aegon” Daerlyssa sighed.

“I know my brother, Daerlyssa. He is not a good man when it comes to love. Trust me” Aegon gave her an alarmed warning.

“What makes you say that?” Daerlyssa asks.

“Do you see him compromise anyone? Do you see him speak to women? Have a woman he is interested in?” Aegon asks, not letting Daerlyssa answer him, “whilst he is a good friend, he is not a man you should love. I do not think so, anyways.”

“Well, even if I did” Daerlyssa shrugged, “it is not your concern. I am a grown woman, I can make my own decisions. You do not need to decide who I should love.”

“Do you? Love him? Does he love you?” Aegon questioned.

Whilst remembering Aemond’s confession, Daerlyssa was quick to deny, pushing Aegon lightly, “no! Of course not!”

“I am just trying to look out for you. I mean, what would people think, should they find out?” Aegon asks.

“There is no finding out, because there is nothing to find out” Daerlyssa responds.

“I am just saying, Daerlyssa. If there was to ever be an affair between the two of you, it would ruin your reputation entirely. As you say, you are a woman. One wrong move and the blame will be entirely on you. Do not let it come to that” Aegon responds.

Reaching to hold both her shoulders, Aegon then leans in, looking into her eyes, “of course, it is your choice to find the person you love. But be wary. Love is a great thing. But sometimes, you could be killed for it.”

-

Aemond was sat in the drawing room on his own, a pen held between his index and middle finger, biting against the back of it.

In front of him, on the table, sat his book, opened at a blank page as he stared at it, unsure of what to write.

…

“Why?” Aemond called out, stopping Daerlyssa from taking another step forward. He gulped, before clearing his question, “why did you do that?”

“I do not know what you are speaking of” Daerlyssa responds.

“Daerlyssa, I am not stupid, I can see” Aemond responds.

…

Despite last night’s endeavours, Aemond continued to feel the guilt seeded within him, due to his cold shoulder he had given to Daerlyssa.

He had come to realise, that it was not her fault, and yet he seemed to take his anger out on her for a reason he did not even know himself.

Hence why the idea of writing a letter to apologise was becoming harder and harder by the minute.

Scratching the back of his head, clueless, he let out a soft grunt before letting his head rest in the palm of his hands, his elbows resting against the table.

“Prince Aemond” he heard a soft voice call his name, causing him to look up, slightly alarmed.

“Ser Harold” Aemond had snapped his book shut, as Ser Harold took a glance, “if you are looking for Daerlyssa, she is with my brother.”

“Oh, I am not looking for the Princess” Ser Harold smiled, “I was hoping to speak with you. Could I come in?”

“Of course” Aemond welcomes him in, the door closing behind them.

Ser Harold watches the door close behind him, before turning back to face Aemond, “well, I was hoping to talk of the Princess. I am.. worried, about her.”

“What of her? Is she alright? Has something happened?” Aemond was quick to sit up from his seat.

“N-no, Prince” Ser Harold responded, as Aemond sat back down slowly in his seat.

Clearing his throat, he continues, “I am not sure if you are aware of how the Princess deals with.. stress.”

“Oh” Aemond nods, “yes, I am. In fact, I was just.. preparing myself to apologise.”

“I see” Ser Harold nods.

The two become quiet, looking away from one another awkwardly.

Before Ser Harold looked back at the young man.

“Daerlyssa has struggled, in finding herself content. She has always been afraid of things that many of you would not be. Storms. The sound of people yelling. Butterflies. Dragons, even. Although, that is explanatory in itself” Ser Harold looks up to Aemond, to see him look with confusion.

“I am rambling on” Ser Harold muttered, “my point is, despite having fears of many simple things, the one thing she fears is disappointing those that she cares for. Which is why your distance has caused her such stress.”

As realisation had hit him, Aemond looks at Ser Harold with concern, “as you know her a lot more than anyone else, what do you suggest I do?”

“Be truthful, in your apology. She is able to tell from lies and truth, with the look on your face. So do not dishearten her, because whilst she is seen as a strong woman, the Princess has a fragile heart” Ser Harold responds.

Aemond nods, “all I wish is to be honest with her, as I wish the same back.”

“Please” Ser Harold sighed, “do not hurt her. She is a beautiful, young Princess and from what I see, it is clear that she loves you. If you do not feel that way, then let her down. Gently.”

“It is warming to see that you care for her” Aemond let out a soft smile, “you have my word. I will not hurt her. Nor do I wish to.”

“Thank you” Ser Harold smiled back.

-

As the family had sat for dinner, it seemed to have been the second week, that Daemon had not come along.

“Brother, is everything alright?” Daerlyssa asks.

“What do you mean?” Jacerys responds, looking up from his wine filled cup.

“I haven’t heard from, or seen father for many days now” Daerlyssa responds.

“Oh” Jacery’s nods, “you haven’t heard have you? He returned to Dragonstone.”

“What? Why?” Daerlyssa asks, “since when? And why has no one told me?”

“Woah.. enough with the interrogation” Jacerys let out a light chuckle, “he and mother had just had a little bit of a disagreement. And you know what the two are like. Dramatic.”

“Jace” Daerlyssa sighed.

“What? It’s true” Jacerys took a sip of his wine, as Lucerys nodded in agreement.

“Watch this” Lucerys cleared his throat, before looking to Rhaenyra, his voice raised slightly, “so Daemon-?”

Turning to face Rhaenyra, Daerlyssa had witnessed the glare her mother had given Lucerys, after hearing her father’s name.

“Told you” Lucerys whispered to Daerlyssa.

“Do not worry about them. You know what they are like” Jacerys had gulped all his wine down in one gulp, “they will be back together by the next week.”

Daerlyssa nodded, knowing her brothers were right.

As far as they knew, Daemon and Rhaenyra could not be apart for long, considering how much they miss and need one another.

“Look who has come for dinner” Aegon gasps, as everyone turns to find Aemond walking in.

“Brother” Aemond looked at him confused, in his announcement of his presence to the entire table.

“It is good to have you here, son” Alicent responds.

The quietness that followed after was interrupted due to Viserys harsh condition, as he groaned in pain.

“Father?”

“Your grace?”

Alicent and Rhaenyra had both held him from the arm, each on opposite sides as they called out to him.

It seemed Visery’s condition had began to worsen, despite maesters being sure that Visery’s would get better.

“I think I would be happier to get to bed” Visery’s responds weakly.

Alicent and Rhaenyra had both took their hands away and kept them to themselves, as Viserys stood up with the help of his guard.

Walking past, Daerlyssa’s eyes followed her grandfather, before coming to face Ser Harold.

“Princess, a word?” Ser Harold whispered.

“Oh yes, of course” Daerlyssa stood up, as the two had walked out the dining room.

Aemond’s eye had followed the two out, a slight smile on his face before looking back at the table, finding his brother’s eyes glaring back at him.

“What?” Aemond mouths with a shrug.

Pointing his fingers to his eyes, and back at Aemond, Aegon then mouths back, “I’m watching you.”

Causing Aemond to roll his eye, in annoyance.

…

“Is everything alright?” Daerlyssa asks.

Ser Harold could only respond with a smile, and a piece of paper that was folded, held in his hand before passing it on to her.

Daerlyssa unraveled the paper, to a note from Aemond;

Meet me tonight, at the Dragonpit.

A bland yet bold, forward statement.

“The Prince wishes to meet you tonight” Ser Harold smiled as he spoke, Daerlyssa witnessing his happiness.

“Do you know what for? I mean, a Dragonpit isn’t necessarily where I wish to be” Daerlyssa responds.

“Do not be afraid” Ser Harold responds, “meet him tonight and I will keep guard of your chamber whilst you are gone.”

Daerlyssa gave a thankful smile back, before she nods, “I will.”

-

The night had come, as Daerlyssa had rushed in, out of breath, finding Aemond stood waiting for her.

“You are late” Aemond spoke as she made her presence known.

“I’m sorry, I just-?”

“Do not speak” Aemond was quick to cut off her words with a kiss against her softened lips, his hand cupped against her cheek as he had her pulled against him.

Pulling away, his nose lingered against the tip of hers, as he let out a soft breath.

“Oh how I’ve missed you” he whispered.

His eye had fluttered open as he forced himself to pull away, as did she, with a smile on her face.

“We had just seen each other not long ago” Daerlyssa chuckled.

“That is.. different. I miss your touch, your gaze your..” he pauses, as he took a satisfied breath in from his nose, his eye closed, “your scent.”

“Enough” she chuckled, as did he as he opened his eyes once again, leaving a kiss against her head.

“Why have you asked that I meet you here?” Daerlyssa asks.

“There is something I wish to do. And I want you to come along, with me” Aemond responds.

“In a Dragonpit?” Daerlyssa asks.

Aemond chuckled, turning around to face ahead, the two looking towards Vhagar.

“I spoke with Ser Harold today. Not a long conversation, no. But enough to let me know more of you” With his hand around her waist, Aemond turns his head to the side, looking towards her.

“What has he told you?” Daerlyssa asks.

“Your fears” Aemond responded.

“And yet, you have decided I should spend my night in a Dragonpit” Daerlyssa nods, “I made an exception once.”

“Then make this exception again. But not to spend this night here” Aemond responds.

With her eyebrows etching in confusion, Daerlyssa turns to face Aemond, “what are you proposing?”

“Do you trust me?” Aemond asks.

“Aemond?” Daerlyssa glances back at Vhagar.

“I would never let harm come to you, no” Aemond shook his head, “and I wish to make that establishment correct.”

“You are not asking that I ride on Vhagar with you? At night?” Daerlyssa asks.

“I want to be beside you, as you face your fears. To help you overcome them” Aemond responds, “I wish to help you.”

“Aemond, I can not-?” Daerlyssa glanced back and fourth constantly, worried she might become the Dragon’s meal.

“You trust me, do you not?” Aemond asks.

“Yes, but-?”

“Then let me prove it to you” Aemond takes both her hands in his, “let me prove to you, that there is nothing to fear, with me by your side.”

“I don’t know” Daerlyssa looked at him, unsure.

“If I believed it to be harmful, I would never have led you here to me” Aemond responds, “you are a true born Targaryen, the blood of the dragon. You deserve to ride a dragon.”

“Then perhaps you are unaware of why I am afraid” Daerlyssa responds, with a sigh, “I trust you, yes. And even if I chose to ride this dragon with you, the future does not consist me of a dragon rider.”

“You do not know that” Aemond responds.

“My father is Daemon Targaryen” Daerlyssa reminds him, “he is restless and chaotic. And whilst I love him, his use of Caraxes has always caused damage. I do not wish to lose control and become him.”

“You are also Rhaenyra’s daughter” Aemond responds, “a woman of a sharp and collected mind. One who is patient, and calm and she upholds peace with her people. You will only become your father, if you follow in his steps. But you do not have to do that.”

Daerlyssa turns to face him, the two withheld a softened gaze, before Aemond had held his hand out to her, “take my hand. Please.”

Looking down at him palm, Daerlyssa had a decision to make.

…

Her eyes were tightened, clasped shut together as she wrapped her arms around him, her head buried in his shoulder and she held onto him for dear life.

Aemond let out a soft chuckle, as he felt her grasp on him, slightly startled by the jump Daerlyssa’s shoulders had then made, when Vhagar let out a snarl.

With a calming gesture, Aemond rested his palm against her, as he petted her gently, “Lykirī, Vhagar.”

Tilting his head back, his chin brushed against the back of her head, her fourhead continued to stay buried in his shoulder.

“Do you not wish to look up at the view?” Aemond asks.

To which she shook her head no, in silence.

But Aemond knew Daerlyssa would eventually ease up after a while, and so, turned back to Vhagar, “Ivsos, Vhagar. Paerī.”

“Go, Vhagar. Gently.”

Commanding her to fly out gently, Vhagar had listened to Aemond’s instructions, Daerlyssa feeling the beneath her lift up.

Despite holding onto Aemond tightly, he did not budge nor let his discomfort be known, knowing that it what must be done, in order for Daerlyssa to face the ride of a dragon, like Vhagar.

Continuing to hold onto him tightly, Daerlyssa kept her eyes shut tightly, not wishing to budge until the feeling of Aemond’s palm against her hands.

“Open your eyes, Daerlyssa. You’re missing out” He whispered.

“Are you sure?” She asks.

“Trust me” He responds.

With a deep breath, and much courage, Daerlyssa had peaked up from behind his shoulder, causing Aemond to let out a soft chuckle, before finding Daerlyssa’s eyes mesmerised.

She had peaked through, before noticing just how right Aemond was. The view was perfect, and yet, she was hidden behind him.

Sitting up, Daerlyssa let out a gasp, followed by a whisper with the words ‘wow.’

The night sky that gleamed with twinkles of the stars that rested.

It was a clear night, many stars coming to light before them.

“It is beautiful” Daerlyssa whispered.

“It is the reason i chose to name you after it” Aemond responds, having Daerlyssa turn her head.

With his turned to the side, he smiles at her, “you are my Star. A light, which glistens in the night sky. Calming, relaxing but most importantly, the most beautiful thing the gods have created.”

-

Aegon had returned from the brothel, earlier than he usually would have, with no company from his brother, and no one to look forward to meeting.

With a sigh, he left a little knock against the back door of his chamber, as he awaited Daerlyssa’s presence, in opening the door, to welcome him in.

It was quiet, no snarky given comment from her as she usually would, but it was clear to Aegon, that she was present, as the sound of light heels clicked against the bedroom floor, towards the door.

“You took your time-?” Aegon spoke, his head turned to the side before turning back to the door, his lips suddenly sealed to the man in front of him, “grandfather?”

“Aegon” Otto smiled.

“What-?” Aegon tripped into his chamber, walking past Otto, as he looked around confused, “why are you here? Where is Daerlyssa?”

“Your wife?” Otto responded, “or perhaps just a woman you chose to marry, in order to escape your reality.”

“I’m not following” Aegon stared at Otto blankly.

“Your wife has joined your brother tonight” Otto responded, to which Aegon had then gulped, as he realised his suspicions were true.

And whilst it annoyed him, to know that his grandfather was aware, only made matters worse.

“Aemond and Daerlyssa are just friends. They get along well, and enjoy each other’s company. That’s all” Aegon responds as he let out a light chuckle.

“And what of you?” Otto asks, “do you always leave this chamber at night? Do you leave your wife behind in the trusted hands of your brother?”

“It is not what you think. Really” Aegon responds.

“It does not matter what i think” Otto shrugged, “but it seems your wife is not careful. And neither is your brother. Should the King find out-?”

“He will not” Aegon responds.

“Will he not? And how do you guarantee that?” Otto asks.

“Because” Aegon cleared his throat, before looking into Otto’s eyes, “i plan to give him a grandchild.”

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

chapter 22

[harleychick91]

She’s My…Wife

Rated M

After calling Lena a villain, Kara gets a surprise visit from a future version of the CEO. This one asking for her help. Will future Lena’s plan work and allow her to keep her wife and her timeline? Or will all of that be erased?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63291655

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“Forgive me or not, that’s your choice. Just like it’s your choice to work with Lex. I’m done blaming myself for your bad decisions.”

“Then why are you here?”

“To tell you that, from now on, you’re accountable for your own actions. If you decide to forgive me, I will be there for you. But, if you continue to work with Lex, you go through with whatever it is the two of you are planning, I will do everything in my power to stop you. Just like I would every other villain.”

The scene continued to play out in my mind as I stared at the ceiling. I know I had to do it but the look of anguish in Lena’s eyes…I hate it. Feeling my phone vibrate, I sent it to voicemail when I saw it was from Alex. I turned off my com, knowing she’d try it next. I know they need me but I don’t have the capacity to deal with anyone right now. I feel like I just lost my….whatever is more than a best friend but not a girlfriend. Sighing, I rubbed my face. There’s no one I can talk to either.

I smelt the electricity in the air before I saw the crackle. Jolting upright, I prepared for whatever was about to come form the purple portal that appeared in my bedroom. That looks like the portal from Lex’s watch. Has he come here to kill me? I knew everything was a lie.

“I come in peace,” Lena said, exiting the portal. Her palms facing me. “I need your help and I have a bit of explaining to do.”

My brow creased. “How…”

“I’m not the Lena you just talked to. I’m from about a decade in the future. I need your help keeping that future intact,” she paused with that half grin that drove me mad. “Unless you don’t still want to marry me.”

“What?” I exclaimed. “M-Marry…y-you? W-We g-get married?” I stammered, blood draining from my face.

“Yes, Kara. We get married,” Lena chuckled. “However, something is happening to the timeline. In your future, I did go through this dramatic period and you did call me a villain but we made up after a very, very long x amount of months. it was torture on both of us. You gave me the tough love I needed, I threw a fit, worked with Lex, and failed. After that, I came to you and we worked through everything. But now, Lex has done something. He’s broken out of the prison he was sent to and I believe he’s helping his former self.”

Fucking Lex. He always has to get in the way. “What prison did we put him in?” Am I dreaming? This can’t be real. I know when I grieved my parents, I saw them for years but this is different from that.

“I can’t answer that,” Lena sighed. “I’m very limited on what I can and can’t tell you.”

“Yeah, step on a butterfly and all that,” I shrugged. “But how…”

“You want to know if you can trust me. Know that I am who I say that I am?” I nodded. “May I?” Lena reached for my hand. Taking it, she placed my palm over her heart. “Even now, you’ve memorized my heartbeat. You heard it in multiple timelines by now. They’re all the same minus Matello Lena. In every single timeline, we need each other. People compare us to Clark and Lois but we’re so much more than that.”

Searching loving green eyes, my heart ached. “You used to look at me like this before…I should have told you years ago. I am so sorry.”

“I know, my love.” A tear ran down my cheek. “Sorry,” Lena murmured. “It's a habit now. I only call you ‘Kara Zor-El Danvers Luthor’ when you’ve mildly irritated me or you’re in trouble for something. It’s always said with love, of course.”

Finish reading on AO3! Check out my ficlet series and Ember in the Abyss while you’re at it!

[nodplus50pts]

First, thank you for your great art! I really enjoy your style. I started the mobile game through GBVSR and played What Makes the Sky Blue because I was interested in Sandalphon. The story really moved me but I have so many questions and I was hoping you could answer them >.<

Did Lucifer imprison Sandalphon in Pandemonium? If he did, was he planning to keep Sandalphon there forever? :’( If he wasn’t the one to put him there, did he know Sandalphon was there and he was okay with it? Or he did not know but he didn’t wonder what happened to Sandalphon for several thousand years?

I have seen some people mention about how Sandalphon was tortured in the Astral Laboratory and I was wondering if Lucifer knew about it? And if he was okay with that too? Or why didn’t he try to stop Lucilius?

If the Astrals were so cruel to the primal beasts, why did Lucifer side with the Astrals to end the rebellion?

(By the way, I really like Lucifer a lot and I hope he becomes playable!! I feel really sad for him too but now that I am asking these questions I wonder what that guy was thinking)

If Bahamut made Lucio (?) and Lucilius made Lucifer, who made Lucilius? Why did they make him look exactly like Lucio?

What happened to Lucifer in the end? I hope he is peaceful in the afterlife with coffee and waiting for Sandalphon <3

I am sorry this is a lot of questions! I hope you can answer them! If not, thank you for your art still!

hi there! thank you for the compliment and I hope you had fun with wmtsb! this story truly means so much to me 🩵 i'll answer your questions with the best of my ability but bear in mind that this saga does leave some bits to the imagination; with some parts deliberately kept vague while others getting answered through retroactive flashbacks that were later added after the trilogy had concluded. it's a bit of a mess in that sense but it's my mess 😔 also bear in mind that gbvsr lore also gets very spotty because it's purely based on basically what-if scenarios and kind of lack that nuance that the og text gives which is a bit of a shame but i also get it... i hope more people play the trilogy for context regardless since versus is centered around it so heavily

Did Lucifer imprison Sandalphon in Pandemonium? If he did, was he planning to keep Sandalphon there forever? :’( If he wasn’t the one to put him there, did he know Sandalphon was there and he was okay with it? Or he did not know but he didn’t wonder what happened to Sandalphon for several thousand years?

lucifer was unaware of sandalphon's whereabouts during the rebellion, him and belial reflect upon this in 000's prologue. there's a VERY large span of time between the rebellion & sandy's escape, which included pandemonium being built, lucifer realizing that faa was responsible and belial set the fallen angels up to fail.. etc. enacting judgement... tracking down belial... tracking down bubz.... there's a brief scene there where he's shaken up after casting beelzebub off and tells gabriel he's going back to the shaded garden (where sandalphon used to be) before he remembers that it's now empty and just quietly stops himself, almost as if he was grieving

belial informs lucifer that orders to construct pandemonium to incarcerate the rebelling beasts are initiated (with the brunt of this work done by lucilius) and i feel like lucifer was probably unaware that sandy got caught up in the crossfire, he doesn't learn about sandalphon's whereabouts until the event where pandemonium's seal weakens which leads to sandalphon escaping & tipping the tetra elements off balance by stealing uriel's wings. bear in mind that that i do think lucifer comes off as quite dismissive in 2017 i sincerely think it's because cygames said they initially weren't intending on continuing wmtsb1 as an anniv special trilogy which is why some of the early lore ends up being quite rough around the edges/never called back to. in wmtsb2, lucifer makes the decision to cede his role to nature all because the difference in their roles/status had brought sandalphon so much grief and was ready to approach him as his equal. and even then, he still didn't fight back against beelzebub because he didn't want the cradle that sandalphon was resting it to become collateral damage, redirecting him away knowing that his own life was what was keeping avatar, lucilius's destructive legacy, sealed

I have seen some people mention about how Sandalphon was tortured in the Astral Laboratory and I was wondering if Lucifer knew about it? And if he was okay with that too? Or why didn’t he try to stop Lucilius?

no!! sandalphon does mention in wmtsb1 that the research team toyed with what i can only assume were the 'lesser' archangels as test subjects (it's shown plenty of times in other events that the astrals often had little regard for beasts and the archangels often had to undergo performance testing and whatnot) lucifer wasn't present for any of those and was just shown inquiring about his test results. i also don't think lucilius was involved in the sandalphon torture chamber, any time he brought up anything about sandalphon in 000 was because lucifer had talked to him about it. otherwise i'm sure he would've had an array of snippy lines to throw at him during their battle in 000 but the best he can do is mock him about how lucifer told him that he wanted to be of use

If the Astrals were so cruel to the primal beasts, why did Lucifer side with the Astrals to end the rebellion?

lucifer didn't side with the astrals, the rebellion was a little more nuanced than just astrals vs primals because it was led by lucilius using belial as a farce for gathering primal beast cores at a massive scale. his priority at the time was to stifle the rebellion, which they managed to do via creating a giant cage to contain them for said farce. after he realizes that there wasn't going to be any way to talk lucilius out of his plan to destroy the world he takes matter into his own hands and 'outgrows' his loyalty to the astrals by becoming the de-facto protector of the sky realm and eliminating any threats it faces, even if it meant he had to kill lucilius, his creator and someone he saw as a dear friend

If Bahamut made Lucio (?) and Lucilius made Lucifer, who made Lucilius? Why did they make him look exactly like Lucio?

Lucilius was simply born in the astral realm much like beelzebub was, without the knowledge that they were cloned copies of the dawn and dusk speakers (lucio and shalem). this is gbf creation lore but when bahamut (god) was split in two, the god of the stars basically based the astral world on the one he left behind (the sky realm), which included its inhabitants (i.e. his speakers) this link is only felt by him subconsciously via his dreams where he received information and experiences akin to divine revelation, and felt his own shortcomings which he compensated for by making lucifer to complete himself 🥲 they basically explain this whole bit in 000 ch8 part3

What happened to Lucifer in the end? I hope he is peaceful in the afterlife with coffee and waiting for Sandalphon <3

they are... deliberately very vague about this. the most clear way to describe is that he's self aware in what feels like a dreamlike pocket dimension, it's brought up in his summon's transcendence fate episodes which i highly recommend checking out!

alternative if you wanna check out other wmtsb extras within gbf i made a post about it a while back

[monstermoviedean]

coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.

[where-the-water-flows]

If you know how to do it you can use someone’s phone number to find their full legal name and home address. It’s just a bit of Google and knowing what websites stores this kind of info. Saw your tags asking how a phone number could verify someone’s age

So, I appreciate you dropping into my askbox to pass that info on - genuinely, it's kind of you - and I can see how my tags came across, but what I actually meant wasn't 'how can you find info on someone just with their phone number??' -- I actually do exactly that kind of thing in my day job pretty regularly, and I have to conform to a lot of real strict ethic constraints that uh, bluntly, random discord moderators...do not.

What I was actually getting at is the fact that, assuming the hypothetical server is just using a phone number as age verification (and doing data broker/google search on that), how in the hell is it controlling for someone doing what people under the arbitrary age limit du jour have been doing since we started implementing this sort of check, ie, lying like rugs and supplying info for someone in their family/social circle instead who is older than [whatever age].

like. sure. maybe you get a phone number for age verification. awesome. plug that into your data broker/google/etc of choice, run your searches, and ok, it belongs to jane smith, 38 years old, accountant who lives in ballarat, she's totally fine to join the 18+ server! come on in jane, the smut is plentiful and the doves are extremely dead. Jane smith has a kid. jane smith's kid is 15. jane smith's kid isn't allowed in the server, because it's an 18+ only server.

jane smith's kid almost certainly knows their mum's mobile number.

how the hell can Hypothetical Server Mod control for 15 year old jane smith's kid putting in jane smith's mobile number instead of their own? and also, separately, how the hell is HSM dealing with the many -- many many many -- different privacy laws around the globe?

not just in terms of handling that sort of information on people (and also requesting it in the first place!), but also just. some countries you can get so much fucking info on someone! (the US. I'm talking about the US.)

some you can't. because privacy laws, because the info isn't publicly accessible, because it's not online and is only in hard copy at the local government office, because it's collated but only in a nonenglish language, because it's geolocked-- etc.

also, like. even if the hypothetical phone number brings up someone in the US, and also your hypothetical mod team has decided, y'know, fuck privacy laws, security of information and data ethics can take a long walk off a short pier, we're keeping this server 18+ or dying trying!

data brokers aren't...actually consistently what you would call...super accurate, or like, accurate at all. if you have a unique name, yeah, sure, you're probably kinda fucked! (assuming you're in, again, somewhere the data brokers focus) but like. if you're named something a little more common - say, james smith, or maria sanchez in the US- uh. well. there sure are a lot of people you could be, and some of them - most of them! - are over 18.

and ok, sure, a phone number is (usually) only associated with one person, but. you can get a lot of false positives, false negatives, and straight up 'we don't know 🤪', the latter of which is sometimes hidden by the databrokers going 'our best guess is that this person is: An Age!! somewhere between 0 and 200 years old. 😇'

again, I use this stuff for work, I can tell you exactly how inaccurate it can get as soon as you throw something like 'not based in the US/UK' or 'uses a nickname/multiple name formats' or 'isn't super online' or 'older than 65 and not turbo wealthy' at some of these - I've had more than one confidently tell me that [my wallet name] is an accountant based in darwin who makes horror films in alice springs on the side, and also, is 26, and had 2-3 kids with her husband Lauchlan.

literally none of these facts are true. like. even vaguely.

and that can of worms doesn't even get into if someone has requested to be removed from data broker databases and/or takes online privacy Very Seriously and/or is just fundamentally ungoogleable, which is...more common than you'd think. less common than you'd like, but more common than you think, even before google started enshittifying itself out of existence.

which is why when you're trying to do things like prove your identity to uhhh goverments, banks, etc, they want multiple forms of ID, one of which is usually a photo ID, none of which anyone should be sending to a random on discord, or, frankly, asking for from a random on discord, both bc my god privacy and security risk but also like. handling that information can actually have legal requirements!

anyway. extremely long ramble on the failings of databrokers over, I appreciate you reaching out to help explain and it was very kind of you anon, sorry that I have. uhhhh kind of a lot of professional feelings about data privacy and basic social engineering, by which I mean saying 'no I'm totally 18 pinkie swear' in the grand tradition of teens wanting to get into age locked areas ever, your forebears lied on LJ so you could lie on discord.

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[porcelain-animatronic]

i love school because i inevitably end up with too many tasks and don't complete any of them!

[dirgeforthedead]

@banefulbenevolence sent me the cheetah picture a week ago or something and this is what happened as a result.

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

[dirgeforthedead-s]

Prayer for Forgiveness headcanons // @dirgeforthedead // Part ???

It's the fact that I just found the 'Prayer for Forgiveness' for the first time a couple of nights ago and…

Dirge is very intelligent, obviously. She has to be in order to be the caliber of assassin that she is. But she has also been raised in such a way that her value was in action and in following orders, not in chiming in or giving her two cents or questioning. In some ways, at least, with my version, she is very much almost non-verbal for many years.

Now, in plotting with one of my friends who isn't on tumblr, we realized it isn't until meeting Enver that starts to change. For the first part of their acquaintance, it was very much Enver being kind of fascinated/intrigued by her and talking at her about things… and then eventually she started speaking, and she, in fact, credits Enver with helping her find her voice…

So I was reading the letter last night when I found it and I realized something interesting.

' Forgive me, Father, for I cannot help but admire the Chosen of your sworn foe: Enver Gortash's genius will take us far, but fear not — those of Bane always fall to the same folly: they cannot see the beauty of obliteration. The Absolute hoax will garner false love from new slaves, but once I've built a large enough army, I will use our hold upon the Absolute's slaves to begin this vile world's end.

I can see the path through Gortash's brilliant plan. Gortash, Ketheric and I will seize the Netherese relics that control the Crown, and then use the Crown to command the illithid Grand Design. The Dead Three, age-old foes, our dire patrons, will be bosom friends for a time.

Father, you created me to be the last soul alive. When the time is right, and my power is assured, I will slaughter Gortash and Ketheric upon your altar, where I myself hope to die when the world itself is gasping its last.

At the end of this all, Father, there will not be a single creature living. Everyone will die. Everyone will die for YOU. I will make you proud. '

[ note appended at bottom of page in a different hand ]

Ha! Orin was right about her sibling. — Balth.

What occurred to me… is that sections of that note almost sound like Enver's over the top, very particular way of speaking? Because, honestly, his speech pattern, the diction… The way he speaks isn't exactly common, in my opinion. So when I say that he helped her find her voice, I guess I also mean that she emulated him in some ways.

I also find it interesting that she calls Ketheric by his first name, and Enver by his last. Almost as though she was overcompensating by trying to make him seem less important, less personal. If she uses his last name, it's all just business, right? Professionalism. See? Nothing to worry about because she has this totally under control.

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol

[txmxkis]

ugh.

[idiaa-shroxd]

HEY HELLO I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM I'M SO JELOUS MARRY ME???/j

awww thank you so so much!! 💗💞 I absolutely would marry you (*´∀｀*) i hope you don’t mind but i checked out your blog aesthetic is literally so pretty?? i’m very jealous of people who know how to make a pretty profile!!! i adore the color it’s so pleasing to the eyes!! i also checked your writing and it’s very nice!! it’s easy to read and understand and i also respect the first post being one about deuce! <3

i also really love the genshin emotes, makes me happy to see another fan ehe so here’s one in response, as faruzan’s got to basically be my main besides wanderer because i adore her so much?? play style is absolutely fun despite only being c4 i crowned her. my wanderer is like triple crowned and has cons with a BIS but I still love faruzan so much—. she’s literally so cute!! (´・ω・)

[featherymainffins]

Ough I fucking hate holidays because it is my duty as a child to visit my parents and just take whatever the fuck happens to me.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

they should invent a me that's good at everything i want to be good at. [thing from the addams family pokes out of a nearby box and hands me a piece of paper] thank you, thing. what's this...oh! why, it's a paper that says i have to be the one to do that for my future self! huh.