#| hence why even his brother who he loves is not seen as his equal |

[umbrx]

𝕀. Ego sum qui sum

Why do some of you even exist?

It had never been a rhetorical question. It was a judgement of one above the Heavens, posed as scrutiny of those that possessed no worth in heavenly eyes. There was no beauty in their essence, no intrigue in their hollow souls. Their names mattered not, their stories weren’t entertaining to be told, their emotions were of no importance. They worked to live, they lived to serve. It was a pathetic excuse of an existence, yet the one he wouldn’t lift a finger to change. They were weak, and weak didn’t get to choose how they die.

Such fragile existence went beyond humanity. At first it was chirping, warm, softest to the touch, tickled the palms that kept it from flying. Until the bird went cold once its neck was snapped. Even something so beautiful and worthy of life in heavenly eyes was weak. It didn’t deserve to choose when to die either. Flowers were the same – equally beautiful, something adorned by the young god, yet they withered and died of their own or by his hand still.

His hand was the hand that kills.

If the hands wrapped themselves around the necks of his family, would those snap as well? The mind had played with the idea, and it came to one conclusion — they would. Eyes had judged the family just as they had judged the slaves, deeming their lives holy, but not equal to his. Mother was kind and would never kill the one she brought to life. Father was too weak to even attempt such a thing on a slave, and his brother... Rocinante could kill. It was a brotherly feeling he had. Before the younger could be swept by father’s ideology of godhood, Doflamingo had plenty of time to plant and nurture his own. Even so, as the eyes would rest on the younger brother so dear, Doflamingo knew he would never take to his heights. He had potential but not enough of it. It was a shame.

Over time, it had been proven time and time again that even those with celestial blood in their veins were simpletons, almost as barbaric ( and some of them more ) than the slaves under their feet. For most, their vocabulary was as bad as those of commoners. There was no intellectual curiosity, no strategic thinking, no logical reasoning around him. Every time someone opened their mouth, stupidity was all he heard, from Tenryuubito and from his own family. There was no advancement, everything was at halt. Anything worth listening to would only come from his own mouth, and with his brother’s lack of input ( the only one he’d let into his inner world ), he made it a habit of practicing speech and rhetoric.

Philosophy, history, languages, strategy, interests in economy and finance, music and poetry. His slaves served to bring him books whenever he demanded them, he sent them across half the Marijois to get the specific ones he wanted, and only would go someplace himself if the slaves were forbidden to enter the holy grounds. Then, when he learned enough, he tried it out. With those slaves he bought, he learnt the art of war.

War was something he found amusing. Something that brought out laughter from his lips. Bloodshed, violence, pain, it excited him. Seeing others suffer made it clearer as to why they existed in the first place. They existed for him. For him to command and for him to cast them away once he’s bored. For him to do as he pleased. Marijois was considered a paradise above earth, the reflection of the best world had to offer, the ethereal. Having established before that Tenyruubito were above those they walked upon, and that he was above Tenryuubito as well, it was a matter of a simple deduction. He was above everyone. Above the earth and above the gilded heavenly cage they resided in. This core belief established at the very early age was one he’d simply solidify once he was older.

[horizon-verizon]

It might be an unpopular opinion but I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope Daenerys and Jon don’t end up together in the books. Not only because Jon’s stans viciously hate Daenerys and steal her storyline to give it to Jon, but Jonerys as a ship is very status quo heteropatriarchal, and it will only thrive through Daenerys sacrificing many aspects of herself to elevate Jon and let him thrive.

In order to be with Jon and lessen herself as a “threat” to him, Daenerys will give up her claim to the Iron Throne. She will go to his family, home, and land, to help fight for his people (rather than him going to hers). She will acclimate to his lifestyle and family, and so will her people, again rather than the other way around. He won’t have to share his sword or direwolf with her, but she’ll have to share her dragons—her children—with him. His birth is a big reason why she is exiled, and rather than him contending with it, Daenerys will be forced to make apologies for her father’s behavior and concessions for it as well. She will burn the Iron Throne, but Jon will not have to burn his own throne (and when he does give it up, it’ll be for his brother Bran, not for Daenerys). Jon has his own family, but Daenerys doesn’t.

They will be in his terrain, not hers, terrain he is far more familiar with. Daenerys will have to do more to show loyalty to his family than he will to show loyalty to her chosen/found family, especially because of the stigma surrounding her parentage. If they do get married, Daenerys’s name and status will only help legitimize Jon as a Targaryen even more, whereas Jon will give her nothing, no advantage or boon.

Jon won’t be able to win against the Others without Daenerys, whereas Daenerys doesn’t need Jon to take back her throne (in fact, he is an obstacle to her getting that throne and will be the reason she gives up on it). Choosing between love and duty to family will be harder for Daenerys than for Jon, because Jon won’t be giving anything up by being with her. If Daenerys doesn’t share and sacrifice all of these things about herself, and instead expects Jon to do so, then Daenerys will always be seen as the Mad Queen/daughter of the Mad King, and as unacceptable/unfit for Jon.

Jonerys shippers often lie and claim that they are equals, but them being equals is 1) not true and 2) actually a huge insult to Daenerys. They’re not equals because Daenerys is going to give up much more to be with Jon than the other way around, which imparts a power imbalance in the relationship and enables Jon to gain further concessions from Daenerys when the time comes (which he will do, it is guaranteed), and secondly because Daenerys in her current stage has been a queen regnant for so long. The man she marries must be her consort, not her equal.

Ruling as “equals” with a man reduces the power and autonomy Daenerys has and undermine her authority, forcing her to share with Jon, rather than her being the final authority and Jon being the consort. Westeros is a patriarchal society, a sovereign is regarded as holding supreme dominion over the state, while a husband is deemed to hold supreme dominion over his wife. Some may see this as better than her situation with Drogo or Hizdahr, but the reason Daenerys will be able to defeat Hizdahr and what freed her from Drogo and the obligation to marry is the fact that she could be THE regnant, and not have to power share with a husband. Jon is also not the type of man who wants to settle for being an obedient consort.

Jon has always wanted to rule, he wanted it even when he knew Robb would inherit Winterfell, and in his dreams of ruling Winterfell when Stannis offers it to him, Val is his consort, not his equal. Hence, this goes back to the first point too. Under the guise of “being equals,” Jon will demand more and more from Daenerys until she is the de facto consort and he the regnant/authority. Those who want Jon to be like Jaehaerys I are implicitly admitting to this as well: Jaehaerys knew Daenerys was his heir, but planned on lessening her power and making her the de facto consort to Aemon the Pale Prince, so that Aemon could be the real authority and regnant. Jonerys takes away from all the parallels and similarities GRRM has written between Daenerys and Aegon the Conqueror.

The politics in Daenerys’s arc are incredibly significant. The revolution she’s spearheaded and the changes she’s made and institutions she’s built show her potential as a queen regnant. If Daenerys married one of her queensguard or warriors like Jhogo, it would still hammer home the subversiveness and enable Daenerys to remain the sole ruler, instead of having to marry a man who is a danger to her life and political power. Jhogo is introduced by stopping Viserys from hitting Daenerys by wrapping his whip around his throat, he’s the first one to lay his arakh at her feet after she hatches three dragons and emerges unharmed from the flames and called her “blood of my blood”, and he’s utterly devoted to Daenerys, serving her as loyally as he would a man and he will do anything for her, even when it contradicts Dothraki culture.

I appreciate the comprehensive list for why Jonerys can't work, anon, I've been thinking about bk!Jon here and there recently. And much of what you say makes a lot of sense, esp:

Choosing between love and duty to family will be harder for Daenerys than for Jon, because Jon won’t be giving anything up by being with her. If Daenerys doesn’t share and sacrifice all of these things about herself, and instead expects Jon to do so, then Daenerys will always be seen as the Mad Queen/daughter of the Mad King, and as unacceptable/unfit for Jon.

And:

Daenerys will have to do more to show loyalty to his family than he will to show loyalty to her chosen/found family, especially because of the stigma surrounding her parentage.

I came to a similar conclusion but more because Dany has lived in a foreign places her entire life and all her current loved ones (except Barristan Selmy) are "Easterners" who've never lived under the Faith religion. Basically, xenophobia.

Largely, I agree on Daenerys never "sharing" power with a man because yes her regnant authority alone allows her to be able to assure both her/her people's safety AND make sure her institutional-change momentum keeps going. I just wonder why she would be seen as a threat to Jon? Is it in the event that his parentage is revealed and, similar to Daemon Blackfyre (or what's said abt him), Jon's supporters push for him to make moves to "protect" himself? Daenerys is a force onto herself, so she'd be a threat to any possible male descendant, true, but what does Jon materially have other than his maleness that could force Dany to even consider giving up her claim? Although even this would likely end-prevent all possible romances between them.

Even with all that, I have the suspicion Jon will become very...odd and threatening after his resurrection. Too much so to remain a part of any higher authority for long, so I don't think Jonerys will really stick even of there are some stirrings toward romance b/t them. Without her, I also don't think Jon could hold a position of authority for himself bc he'd be too, again, "odd" and likely very vengeful and angry...although I guess in this world this would at first be seen & misinterpreted as a positive trait for men to portray "strength", so idk. Whereas Dany is literally the Lady of Light, it feels too much like they are opposites or at least will have opposing vibes and feelings and values upon meeting. Of course, things could change on Jon's end, but WoW will appear to feature Jon's reluctance to give up any control after what happened to him in his betrayal.

I could also say that Jon wanting Val as his consort jives since Val is not a regnant Queen, but she is still a unique authority amongst her people and has her own "name"; being a Westerosi-style "consort" is not for her. However, I have the impression that Jon wanted Winterfell as his own in a sort of fantasy of power as part of his boyish desires to escape his bastardry, similar to how he admired Daeron I, which he doesn't really revisit and reinvest in again seriously as far as I remember (I haven't reread yet so I could be just talking farts right now). But again, at the same time, we don't know the exact sequence of thoughts and actions he'll have in WoW. Whether his anger and vengefulness will borrow from these early desires to justify and build into something more, and one could def make the argument to its likelihood, esp when Jon is still very much a man of his society (Myrcella, Sansa and yes I understand why he'd feel the way he did abt Sansa, more after these parentheses) and even if he does have some sort of come-to-Jesus moment with all his flaws can one in Dany's position really be expected to put all her eggs in his basket or have faith in him when the entire trend in her life is men--intentionally or not, but usually intentionally--trying to use her up? Yeah, her better bet is someone who has proven their devotion time and time again.

Still, as a romance thing, her and Jhogo specifically doesn't appeal to me emotionally, either. Mostly because I have never seen into his head or followed his experiences. He is substantive character, don't get me wrong, but he has a particular side role and I've never cared for attachment-central character romances, male-male, female-female-, nor female-male/male-female. For politics and the bigger picture sake, absolutely, he's a good choice for Dany. Or any of her Queensguard of appropriate enough age, some warrior separate enough from the Targaryen lineage. Would I swoon or wax poetic about it, though? Nah, I'd more logically appreciate such a tie, even as I worry what it might mean for any sort of court she'd create where she doesn't take a Westerosi lord husband (which again, I don't think she should really do either unless he's so low in noble status [like Cole] he nor his family can do basically nothing to her OR/AND bc, again, that xenophobia similar to what happened with Daeron II marrying Myriah Martell) which always leads me to the depressing conclusion that Westeros just isn't the ideal place for Dany even if they unknowingly need her.

Hope this was all legible and coherent, I was doing stream of conscious, writing on the fly. George needs to finish & release this damn book. Yes yes we shouldn't rush--doesn't mean I don't wish to be proven right abt some things and wrong abt others.

[letterstoear]

Three reasons to love Ace Trappola

I know the fandom loves to pick on Ace, but this time around I just wanna spread some good ol love about him. So, without further ado here we go!

Please make sure to check out my shop as well: Shop — Letters to Ear (squarespace.com)

*spoiler warnings*

Friendship is golden with Ace

He’s a loyal friend. I think everyone remembers how at the end of book 4 Ace came running with Deuce to NRC for you and Grim. While it did take a long time for the two of them to arrive, Ace still managed to put his vacation aside to come back to NRC to check on his friends. Which is a very sweet action that shows his loyalty.

Not to mention in book 3 Ace offered his dorm to Yuu and Grim when Octavinelle had taken over. Despite teasing you with the one bed option this action still showed that Ace was willing to lend you a place when you were in need.

In the second Halloween special, Ace was sent to the ghost world looking for the remaining half of the cast. Once it was revealed the whole plot was driven by Malleus, Ace was one of few characters who held Malleus responsible. This was because Ace had been seriously worried about the whole situation thinking something terrible has happened to everyone. Take this as you will, but I adore how Ace is able to stand his ground firmly against someone like Malleus.

Oddly wholesome at times

In the Playful Land event Ace makes the comment that he wants to buy souvenirs at the end. Why? Well, it’s because he wants to be able to go back on the whale rollercoaster ride with everyone. If he were to hold all of the souvenirs it would make it hard to go on more rides. However, this strikes me as oddly wholesome because Ace makes a point to have everyone beside him.

During the Lost in the Book event with Stitch, we have another instance of this when Ace is parading around their vacation home. Afraid something has come out to attack his friends, Ace doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself to buy time for his friends. In this scene we see how not only Ace is a quick thinker, but he’s selfless. Of course, the moment is very short lived, with the “something” being just Floyd.

Everyone is on the same level as he is

We have seen time and time again that status could practically mean nothing for Ace. To him it doesn’t matter if you’re a dorm leader, great wizard, or even a prince, everyone is on the same level as he is. I think this is rather refreshing as it shows that Ace sees everyone as an equal. Hence the reason Ace has no problem saying his opinion on matters. However, this also means that Ace is someone who’s going to hold you responsible regardless of your position.

His older brother

Anyway, I have plenty more reasons, but I’ll cap it off with that for today! Thank you for reading this post. Reblogs are much appreciated.

[seiryuuuz]

little fmab ramble not too long because i feel i probably won’t be able to put thoughts into words much with this but fmab is genuinely one of the animes i feel if you have not watched you one hundred percent should at the beginning it kinda puts you into it without explain and you have so many questions and such but i feel as the story goes in these little threads of the story start becoming more understandable and interesting the plot is one of the things i love so much about fmab bc its very well written and just amazing these two kids are doing everything in their power to try to get their bodies back and like as you’re watching this in your head you know these a children they should not have to deal with this or go through what they’re going through or deal with what they’re going through they should have a peaceful life and then people who you think you won’t feel bad for or don’t really like can end up growing on you like Scar he’s a character who i didn’t like at first but then learning what happened to him and his people you start to learn and understanding why he doing the things he did and you can’t be mad at him for that and what he’s doing bc the alchemist are at fault they should of never did what they did and even some of them realize that and have to deal with the cause of their actions and obviously some of them try to make up for what they did and regret what they did but some others they don’t so you kinda see different perspectives of other and i think the way the story is written is genuinely so amazing and so well written and im not one to say that about a lot of stuff i watch but fmab deserves praise it gets and sometimes im left with more questions than i had at the beginning but with fmab that wasn’t the case at all and all the plot twist within the show were amazing and so well done and Greed which is another character i enjoyed not at the beginning but when it was Greed/Ling i really enjoyed that character and the way Greed gave up his life at the end for Ling and him saying “peace out, soul brothers” and calling Ling and Ed his friends his development was i think very well done and i enjoyed watching it and i also love how they show equivalent exchanges because that’s also another important thing throughout the show because to get something in return you have to give something of equal value hence how the Al lost his body and how Ed lost his arm and leg and it kinda makes me sad thinking about it too because they were two grieving children who just wanted their mother back also the relationships done in this show are so well done too it’s interesting to see people’s dynamics and stuff one of my favorites being Roy and Riza i do believe she was one of his weaknesses as we seen Riza was used again roy before when they were forcing him to do the transmutation that and he ended up doing it for her to save her life they mean so much to me and then him being forced to do the transmutation caused him to lose his eyesight the whole equivalent exchanges playing it part in the whole story and even though Roy didn’t want to do it there’s no way to avoid that happening to him and the Al giving up his body for Ed to have his arm back so he can fight and then my favorite part of the whole series is Ed giving up his use of alchemy to be able to bring Al his body back and no one would ever really except him to do that even truth was shocked when Ed said he was going to give up his alchemy and him saying “who even needs alchemy when i got them” it will always be my favorite part in the whole series Edward and Alphonse Elric you will forever be loved! said this wasn’t going to be long but i yapped sorry for any typos and not using punctuation i forget to use it when i ramble!

[definegodliness]

Henk

Let me tell you about Henk. 

Henk was an accident, a child born a decade after his brothers and sisters. He had this birth defect that slurred his speech, and impeded his movements, making it seem like he was drunk 24/7. This deviation caused Henk’s religiously zealot of a father to never recognize him as a child of his own, but rather as a child of the devil. He divorced his wife over that sentiment when Henk was a boy. And that wife, Henk’s mother; the only person to ever love him, died shortly after. Resulting in him being outcast — no, downright hated — by his brothers and sisters.

Henk grew up to have one friend, my father. They had a lifelong relationship, that, after due consideration, I would not call a pity-friendship. Dad pitied him, make no mistake; there was too much to be pitied, but he treated Henk as human. A friend, at that. 

They met at a youth center my dad ran, called The Monastery — ironically so, but we’ll get to that — and dad got Henk involved in managing things. I guess those were the heydays. Late teens, early twenties.

Henk made other ‘friends’ after that. He was trusting in the good of man. So when he went vacationing, he gave his peers his house-key, asking if they’d feed the dog for a couple of weeks. And when he returned his house was emptied, and the dog was dead.

That was Henk.

Such was the life of Henk.

A social man, banned from society for his slurred speech and impeded movements. Never seen as an equal, but as a disease. And I cannot stress enough how I am not an exception. Picking up the landline, hearing:

“Hel-lo... itss... HENK...”

Rolling my eyes, calling for dad.

One time my sister turned pale as a sheet, running, shouting:

“Dad! Dad! Henk’s drunk chlorine!”

And I rolled my eyes again, a heartless-bastard child. But, in my defence, you have to see I was completely oblivious of suicides at the time, let alone the concept of death. Some people never get to a point of understanding. I have. Hence the guilt. Hence this eulogy of Henk. 

Henk was a man who’d habitually get punished for minding his own business by the conscientious part of humanity. Imagine that. More definingly, he was someone who, by the callous rest, got treated like a big steaming pile of shit. Flies always circled around him to take advantage. Henk attracted human evil, and spent his life searching for proof that he, too, could fit. 

That’s why he always tried.

Then, the benefit of doubt kept killing him.

Henk once gave a big goodbye party. My dad didn’t attend. Afterwards he took some sleeping pills and put a plastic bag over his head, sealing it at his neck with a tie rip. But the sleeping pills didn’t kick in soon enough, and he panicked; tearing the plastic off his face. Henk collapsed and woke up to his place, trashed, because he would have been dead, and people didn’t hesitate to violently celebrate this predicament.

He called dad, afterwards, and dad made me part of the cleanup crew. We drove there on a Sunday. They were making small talk, and were reminiscing The Monastery. Just talking, while teenage-me was put to work; dustpan and brushing the perimeter. Everything was shattered. 

I muttered:

“What a bunch of bastards.”

“I— ... wass G-GOING to-die”, Henk said, apologetically. As if his death was a freebee for all this dumbass destruction. 

“... but you chickened out, didn’t you?”, dad chuckled. And the two of them burst out in a laughter I will never understand. 

“I did, I... DID.”

Henk took to medicine, after that. Which at first didn’t really help him, mentally, but did cause him to shed his literal skin. He got blisters all over his body, and when they peeled, he was smooth as a baby’s butt. 

Henk once, or twice, drove his 60 km/h limited disabled carriage over the highway to meet up with dad. I am only now realizing he wasn’t an idiot, dad was just that important to him. 

He had enough of life after he turned sixty. He wanted to — no, yearned — to go back to his mom. He asked for euthanasia, but, even though it is legal in my country, his GP wouldn’t touch that possibility with a ten-foot pole. Henk was part of the bible belt, you see. 

By that doctor, word got to town. And Henk was flooded with letters from neighbours and other townsmen, who never gave him the light of day, but now wanted to assure his descension to hell by quoting biblical name-colon-numbers. 

No, they did not want to convince him into heaven. They wanted him to be sure to burn for eternity. Henk answered them all, individually:

“I only want to be with mother.”

An answer, unaccepted.

Henk deteriorated further. In slurred speech and impeded movements. He entreated his death-wish to the specialist treating him. That man turned out the key to his freedom. 

He said:

“Henk, we’ve been treating you for seizures for fifteen years. And if you stop taking this particular medicine, it will all be over real quick. Just make sure you’re not in pain.”

Henk calls my dad to take care of his finances. Shares his after-death wish. Then, signs up for a wind-down unit. It’s a nice mansion among nature. Dad visits him the first day after he refrained from taking his medicine. They talk about fucking the system by overdrawing Henk’s bank balance, as they did — goddamn hippies — Second day, Henk’s already pumped full of morphine, and, ultimately, dead.

Years and years of fighting for euthanasia, and all it took was one doctor who said: “Stop taking your meds.”

“Stop fighting God”, for the more religiously inclined. But those were the ones who would’ve kept Henk from his mother’s arms. Those, who dream of death, but fear the choice of death.

Henk was cremated. 

Dad took his ashes to the river banks, where Henk used to play as a kid; before his dad left his mom, and before he was outcasted by his kin. There was a small window of childhood, and innocence; gullible years that kept Henk living for, say, a good sixty years. 

Three months later, we saw that exact spot had sprouted an oak tree. And we left feeling hope for Henk. One year later the municipality had razed and leveled the river banks, and none of us could decide where he could be.

That was Henk.

[sullina]

Brainwashed Meliodas au. I found this fanfiction where goddess Elizabeth fell in love with Meliodas but Meliodas doesn't love her so in desperation she brainwashed him. 3000 years later, the spell is getting worn out. Thoughts?

i don't think i know that fanfiction, but this is an interesting premise.

First off, why was the she desperate? Was she desperate to be loved at all or desperate for him specifically to love her? I'm gonna assume the latter to this question, because if she just wanted to be loved, Mael was also right there, although she only saw him as a younger brother figure.

Elizabeth was also the daughter of the supreme deity. You'd think that with that kind of authority she'd have plenty of admirers, although the fact that she was apparently not officially part of the goddess military might've made her seem either as useless (if she was offered to be part of it) or as implicit betrayal (if she refused to join or left), both of which may have turned away any goddess who could've have feelings for her but wasn't close to her, regardless of how much Elizabeth ended up actually doing.

So question remains why Meliodas specifically. Since he needed to be brainwashed, he obviously didn't love her of his own accord. Did he like her platonically but Elizabeth wanted more? Or if he didn't like her at all (they were sorta arch enemies back then), perhaps she just wanted someone to see her as an equal and individual with her own goals instead of just the SDs daughter (who failed to fulfil her role as a puppet for her mother) and only Meliodas, who was more or less in the same situation as her was able to see her like that, regardless of whether or not he liked her or not.

If that's the case, Meliodas was the only one she ever felt seen by, even if he tried to kill her.

On the other hand, Elizabeth may not have wanted for Meliodas to love her because she was desperate to be seen, but was desperate to end the war between the 5 races. Meliodas was one of the demons strongest fighters. If he left the demons, they would be at quite the disadvantage. And of course the most effective prisons are the ones where the prisoner doesn't KNOW he's imprisoned, hence the brainwashing.

Meliodas believes his feelings are his own and so the story goes as it goes.

3000 years later, the spell gets worn out. How does it happen? Just wear and tear? Did his own emotions finally break through the spell? I imagine brainwashing is like... okay, so you have your own emotions, imagine those like a picture with different colors and like red is anger, blue is sadness, pink is love, black is hate, etc. And the brainwashing basically puts an additional layer over this picture with certain parts filtered. In Mels case, black is now pink, so Elizabeth, whom he hated before, is now someone he loves. But the brainwashing can't drown it out completely. So sure, the brainwashing works for a while, but his real emotions are still there, still alive, under that filter-layer, always thumping against that filter and eventually wearing it down until it breaks.

Or maybe something happened that broke his brainwashing? Like idk, some enemy? Or when he was fighting the vampires and Gelda, did seeing Gelda and remembering the times from 3000 years ago (before he was brainwashed into loving Elizabeth) trigger something?

But regardless of how it happened, once the spell is broken, Meliodas won't just remember that he doesn't love Elizabeth, he'll also remember how much he didn't love her, meaning if he hated her before, he'll hate her about 300x more intensely now. Even if he retains the memories he made with her. Because those memories were all lies. She lied to him, made him betray his own clan, his only family, his friends (if he had any).

I also just remembered, Meliodas had the commandment of love. He couldn't hate anyone or else be rendered unable to fight. We see in the manga that he also didn't love anyone or had just about any feelings at all. Even if he showed them, inside he probably felt empty.

Which brings up another question. Was Elizabeth desperate to be loved by him or did she want him to love as well? Maybe not love her, but anyone, and since she liked him already, she could fulfil her own wishes while "doing him a favor" (or however she would justify her using brainwashing).

And another thing, does Elizabeth feel guilty about using brainwashing? I think we can all agree that it's an objectively bad thing to do, even if it achieves positive things. You're not just overstepping boundaries here, you're essentially blowing them up with dynamite in order to get someone to do something they would never want to do.

So my question is really if Elizabeth believes that the ends justify the means.

Because if the answer is yes and she doesn't feel guilty about it, then she doesn't respect Meliodas and other people on a fundamental level, essentially only seeing them as puppets that she can do with as she wants. This also means she doesn't truly love him, not him as a full person of his own, but rather the idea of him. Because the real him doesn't love her, but she doesn't care enough to respect his feelings and brainwashes him. This also means that, in this au, Elizabeth would be a very selfish person.

If she DOES feel guilty, but never undid the spell, then was desperate enough to cross boundaries she never would otherwise (leaving you wondering what else she might've tried before brainwashing someone who wanted her dead), or was UNABLE to break the spell. In the latter case of which, it might not have been her herself, but her asking someone else to put the brainwashing on Meliodas in the first place.

And additional question, is this brainwashing thing a spell that Elizabeth just knew or is it something she had to look up? If that's the case, then perhaps breaking brainwashing is a different spell than applying it and Elizabeth didn't look up the breaking spell when she looked up the brainwashing and didn't get the opportunity to look up the breaking spell when her guilt overwhelmed her. So before she died and was cursed, and when she was reborn and got her memories back, the information was lost in the war or to time, thus leaving the spell to run its course for the next 3000 years until it wore off naturally.

Now back to Meliodas. Since the brainwashing wears off 3000 years later, he'll be in Liones by then, serving Baltra and either already in charge of the Sins or still gathering them. Or it's after the exile and the brainwashing breaks as Meliodas is on the run with the Boar Hat.

But regardless of where he is, his first instinct would be to seek Elizabeth out and either just kill her outright, or get an answer out of her first. He knows she'll just be reborn, but that only gives him to the satisfaction of killing her over and over and over again. And this time, he doesn't have to hold back on his hatred for her, because he no longer carries the commandment of love.

[lucem-stellarum]

So. New Hush video dropped. And there is SO MUCH to talk about. Under the cut because in-depth spoilers and length.

First thing, I'm loving the dichotomy between "one day you'll think that saving me will be the worst thing you've ever done" and "I don't want to see you hurt". Like, initially (and I'm certainly not the only one) I got serial killer vibes. Kind of like Imp!Kody, and especially after that bugs bunny GIF. Now I'm getting more 'uncanny valley' vibes; very much not human, but not intentionally malicious. He scares me still, but not in the same way that Vega and Ivan did.

With that uncanny valley he has going on, I'm almost getting Android!Listener vibes for the future storyline. That plotline is still so isolated from the rest of the cast it's got to tie in and pay off at some point. Even though the "Hush is a shade" theory is probably not correct I still think he's connected to Death somehow. I'm not sure what he is, exactly, but I think he's something we haven't seen before.

He does say he was "designed with a purpose". He's almost certainly designed by the Sovereigns. They seem to like building things; demons, vampires, empowering humans, shades. Making another construct is easy to attribute to them. I don't think he is a Sovereign himself; it's unnecessary to add something more powerful than 'basically gods'. It's a bit of a meta textual read and justification, but that doesn't make it wrong. I think he's built as some kind of weapon, leftover from the first war between demons, humans, and the Sovereigns. He EATS arcana, the magic that demons are made of. If the war was so bloody and costly it horrified a Sadism demon, it had to have been close on both sides, neither with a clear advantage. Desperate people do desperate things; the subjugating Sovereigns made Hush as a weapon specifically to fight against and control the rebellious demons. Hence why demons consider him an "abomination"- it's hard to look kindly upon your predator.

on the other hand, he may also be something related to another of my theories about Reticuli being a construct here

Right now my main drawback of this is how... almost naive in a way Hush seems? It's not quite the right word, but that's the best word I have. Starlight would be so disappointed in me. Anyway, if he's been around since the Sovereigns were in power how has not a single person done him a kindness ever? How has he never once gotten curious about... anything? I suppose he could have been trapped on Aria/imprisoned all this time, but then why wouldn't the Chorus have just dissected him while he was in their grasp. Unless Hush was hidden from them somehow? I can't handwave away all the holes with "Aria lore we don't know yet, probably". That doesn't mean he's not a construct of the Sovereigns, of course, he could be a newer one (like how shades were created by what's under the river after they were imprisoned). Maybe he was created to try and bring down the Meridian? Eat away at the magic of E'laetum and Min'ara and break the walls that hold the Sovereigns prisoner?

As far as who his brother is- I don't think we've met the brother yet. Hush has explicitly said he's not a human or a demon. Why would his brother be either of those races? He was created, not born, so not a human. Probably not referring to a vampire either, since they're a subspecies of human. All huskies are dogs, but not all dogs are huskies, you know? And demons coalesce in the Elision Well, so they're all equally related to one another. Why would Hush say he only has one brother then? It's the same reason as why he's probably not a Sovereign; they're all probably equally as related to another so why only singular brother? Who does that leave, as named characters in our cast? Basically just the android listener, which... no.

Unless... someone in our cast of named characters is misleading us about what they are? Seers can mask their aura as something completely different, so it's possible for some specific people to pull something like that off. That still throws out most of the human/demon cast, anyone that we have gotten close enough to physically touch and notice he has no warmth or heartbeat. Which leaves a small number of people it could be, assuming we have met them before.

Hold a gun to my head and make me choose, I'd have to say Brachium. He lost his memories to the river; just because he started getting some back doesn't mean he has all of them, or that they were even truly his to start with. Brachium also mentioned in passing how long it's been since he even saw any others of his kind; what happened to them? If Hush is related to a deathwalker (maybe he was a deathwalker, once, twisted by the Sovereigns into what he is now) and has been trapped by the river, near death, it would explain his naiveté (again, not quite the right word, but close enough). His unfamiliarity with interacting with other people in a way that isn't horrifically violent. If Hush's purpose is somehow related to bringing down the Meridian it would also make sense that his brother wants him dead, considering Brachium's task watching the river and what it imprisons and that tie in to the project Meridian plotline I referenced earlier. Brachium can be scary threatening when he wants to be. It's a bit of a stretch, so I do still think that his brother is as of yet unintroduced, but if I had to pick someone it would be Brachium.

All in all, great work Mr. Redacted sir. I love it, I can't wait for more lore drops like this! I'd love to see these theories proven wrong, and I think I would actually die if I was proven right!

[joonie-beanie]

The Demon Brothers + comforting a self-conscious MC/Reader

So a while ago an anon sent me the below ask

And I kind of adored the idea, considering I am also insecure, and chubby, and in need of some demon bro comfort. Hence, here we are.

Rather than bullet point, I ended up writing short stories for each brother. Hopefully you still enjoy 💕

Lucifer:

The eldest brother is not unaware of the way your eyes stray when the two of you are in public together—your gaze raking over the other inhabitants of the Devildom as you traverse the busy streets.

At first, he assumes the array of creatures—some far less human-like than he and his brothers—are interesting to you. Then, he notices the way you begin hugging yourself with your arms. As if trying to hide yourself away from any prying eyes.

It is indeed out of place for a human to be seen in the Devildom, and you do get some stares, but...he has a suspicion that the sudden shyness you exhibit stems from feelings that reach beyond what strangers may think of you.

He doesn’t like seeing you in such a state.

“Y/N,” he addresses you after tugging you into a small, scarcely populated side alley. One of his gloved fingers curls beneath your chin, and he guides your hung head to look at him. “I can tell you’re upset. Explain to me why.”

You glance away from him, cheeks heating up, and your arms hugging your sides a bit tighter.

“I just...you, and your brothers are all so beautiful,” you start by saying, causing him to blink in surprise. “And...whenever we’re out like this, and I see all of the other demons living here, I can’t help but feel like I pale in comparison...”

Lucifer’s features soften as he stares at you. You’re worried about such a silly thing?

“Y/N.” He steps forward, his thumb moving to hold your chin. He tilts your head up, guiding you into a kiss. It’s soft, and loving, and immediately your fingers are twitching against your sides—itching to reach out and hold him.

“You are perfect as you are, and I have never thought otherwise.”

He kisses you again, his free arm moving to curl around your waist and tug you closer. You feel your heart aching in your chest.

“Lucifer—”

“You need not compare yourself to others, because there is no one else like you—and you are radiant in every sense of the word. I give you my word as the Avatar of Pride that what I speak is the absolute truth.”

His voice is quiet, and tender, and full of adoration. You feel like crying.

“I love you,” you whisper the words against him, voice a little broken, and Lucifer smiles before kissing you again. He will try his best from now on to help you feel a little more comfortable in your own skin.

Mammon:

The second brother invites you to Majolish to watch one of his fashion shoots, and you agree despite knowing how self conscious it will make you, because you know it will make him happy.

So, you find yourself standing in the back of the studio, watching Mammon on the temporary set—which is composed of an oversized mattress, and colorful pillows. He’s wearing slacks, and a button up that’s not buttoned at all—revealing his toned body. Since it’s a group shoot, he’s surrounded by equally enticing male and female demons. And while the sight should get you going, considering they’re all so attractive, it just makes you feel...bad.

Biting your lip, a sick feeling rising in your chest, you end up stepping out into the hall. Mammon finds you there soon after, a look of relief on his face when he spots you with your back against the wall—arms hugged together.

“There ya are! I thought you had left!” He runs up to greet you, but his smile wavers. He can tell you’re upset—gaze straying away from him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He reaches out, hands hovering nervously. Had he done something? “I...if I did something wrong you can tell me...I didn’t mean to upset ya—”

“No, it’s not you,” you mumble, cutting him off. Now he’s even more confused. “I guess...I got upset seeing you and all the models. I know I don’t look anywhere near as attractive, and that thought started to gnaw at me, so—”

“What are ya talking about?” he interrupts you, head cocked to the side curiously. “I think you’re hot as hell.”

You feel your cheeks heat up, surprised at his words. “What?”

“I-I mean!” suddenly he’s turning red, hand lifting to sheepishly rub at his neck. “I’ve never thought that ya weren’t attractive, ya know? Ever since you came here my heart can’t help but flutter whenever I see ya…”

Your heart aches. “Mammon…”

“Listen! I just…,” his shy gaze turns back to you, and he reaches a hand out, cupping your cheek. “I think you’re one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

He leans in, but hesitates for a moment, so you’re the one who ends up sealing the kiss.

“Don’t worry about that kinda crap, okay?” he whispers against you, his arms lowering to wrap around your waist—holding you tightly. “Or else The Great Mammon will have to start knocking some sense into that silly human brain of yours.”

Tears blot your eyelashes, but you can’t help but giggle.

Levi:

You love Levi dearly, but he has an Akuzon addiction that needs to be addressed.

Recently, Akuzon had apparently expanded their clothing options—stocking more cosplay-like pieces—and Levi had thrown them all into his cart without second thought. Now that they’ve arrived, he’s begging you to come over.

Except, he doesn’t tell you why he wants you to come to his room until you’re already there—watching as he unpacks the multiple bags worth of questionable clothing.

“Ooooo~! This one is especially cute!!” He holds up something pastel, and undeniably adorable. You don’t disagree—it is cute, but...as you stare at it, an uncomfortable feeling settles in your stomach.

Can you even pull off something like that? You’re sure Levi is hoping that you’ll look like one of the cute anime characters in his favorite shows, and you don’t want to disappoint him. 

As much as you would love to try on the clothing and model for him, you don’t believe you’ll be able to do the outfits any justice.

“Y/N?” the demon calls your name curiously, noting how you’ve gone silent. You’re no longer paying attention to him, your head hung as you stare off to the side—a perplexed look on your face.

“W-What’s wrong?” Leviathan drops the clothing held in his grap, stepping towards you. He knows that he can get a little overly excited about this stuff, but you’re typically tolerant of it…

“I don’t know if I’m the right person to model for you,” you end up saying, voice quiet. An array of negative feelings are swirling in your head, making it hard for you to say what you want to without vomiting all your worries at him.

“I’m not...built the same as an anime character, or the cute 2-D people in your video games. The clothing won’t look the same on me, and I don’t want to ruin the images you probably have in your head.”

“Y/N—,” he cuts you off, his hand grabbing your own. He lifts your hand until your fingers are splayed against his chest. You can feel the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palm.

When you glance up, his face is flushed.

“I...this is how I get every time I’m around you,” he tells you honestly. “Whether you’re in your RAD outfit, or pajamas, or just a t-shirt and jeans...I...m-my heart always beats l-like this.”

He looks like he’s about to phase out of existence—embarrassed beyond belief with everything he’s currently confessing to you—so you instinctively reach your free hand up and cup his cheek. He leans into your touch, cheeks aflame. 

“I think you’re so cute,” he mumbles, amber eyes staring right at you. “You don’t have to look like Ruri-chan, or anyone else. I...I like you. So, please don’t think those things about yourself...”

“Levi…” There’s adoration in his gaze, and you can’t help but kiss him. 

Beneath your palm, you feel his heart skip a beat. 

Satan: 

The Avatar of Wrath has recently become accustomed to inviting you out on little coffee dates. It’s a chance for both you and him to escape his brothers, and have a space to yourselves where you’ll be able to talk freely.

The cafe the two of you frequent is dark, and cozy, and right up Satan’s alley. So far, all of your experiences there have been pleasant. 

Today, however, the stunningly attractive barista is throwing herself at Satan as he orders your drinks, and a familiar uncomfortable feeling begins rising in your throat.

Just great. 

Chin resting in your palm, you watch the two interact—Satan maintaining his pleasant composure, even when she presses her arms beneath her chest and asks if he wants any company. You see him shake his head, and you assume he mentions that he’s already here with someone, considering the barista’s gaze strays to you. She looks you up and down, an unkind amusement swimming in her eyes, before she turns back to Satan.

...wow. 

You face yourself away, feeling bitter, and anxious as you wait for the fourth brother to return to your side. That assuming he does. You wouldn’t blame him for running off with the Barista—

“Y/N,” two hands reach out and cup your cheeks, guiding your head to the side. You manage to note that Satan is now crouched beside your chair—barista abandoned—before his lips connect with yours.

“I love you. You’re absolutely stunning.”

“Wha—,” you flush red as he pulls back, shocked at his actions. Satan usually isn’t so open about his affections in public. “You...how did you—?”

“I was watching the barista when she glanced past me. The rude, yet satisfied look on her face was telling enough,” he says, a bit of anger slipping into his tone. However, it’s quick to melt away when his gaze refocuses on your blushing cheeks. 

“Just so you know, I think you’re beautiful. I’ve always thought so.” He presses back to his feet, the tips of his ears turning red. “So...don’t mind what others say, and be kind to yourself, okay?”

At a loss for words, you reach your arms out and hug him around the middle. He blinks in surprise, but a chuckle leaves his lips—his hand petting against your hair.

“Do I need to start telling you how much I adore you every day?”

“I might die,” you mumble into his shirt, and he feels his heart ache. He’ll be sure to start expressing his affections for you more often. He doesn’t want you feeling down about the way you look, because he has never given it a second thought. 

In his eyes, you’ve always been perfect.

Asmo:

Asmo is unfortunately stellar at reading your body language. So on the days where your self-confidence and self-image aren’t best, he’s right there, trying to subtly raise your spirits.

Today, when he notices you picking at your food during breakfast, a frown on your face, he knows it’s going to be one of those days. And he doesn’t like seeing you upset. 

So, he invites you to come to his room for a nice, relaxing spa day.

You agree, although it takes a little bit of convincing on his end. 

Soon enough, you find yourself standing in front of Asmo’s outrageously large tub. He’d prepared a milk bath for you—the white, swirling liquid thick, and heavenly smelling. You’re a little nervous to disrobe and sink inside—especially considering your current mental state—but...you end up doing it anyway.

Once you’re shoulder deep into the tub, Asmo knocks on the door, making you jump.

“Are you up for getting a scalp massage?” he questions, peeking his head in. There’s a kind smile on his face. “I’d love to give you one.”

It takes you a moment to answer—your gaze lowering to look at yourself. It’d be impossible for him to see you beneath the milk, so that helps you feel a bit better…

“Okay,” you say, and Asmo is quick to skip inside. He rolls up his pants to his knees, his calves dipping into the bath on either side of your shoulders. A moment later, you feel his fingers rub through your hair, and you can’t help but sigh.

“Feel good?” he questions, and you hum in acknowledgement. Silence falls for a short while—Asmo simply focusing on easing the tension from your body—but he can’t let his thoughts go unheard.

“You know,” he starts by saying. “I don’t understand why you’re so hard on yourself. I think you’re positively stunning.”

“Asmo…”

“No, I really mean it!” he pouts, getting the feeling that you think he’s just saying that to try and make you feel better. “You’re cute, and scrumptious just the way you are! And I’ve always thought so—since the moment I laid my eyes on you when you were summoned by Lord Diavolo for the exchange program. 

“So just...take my word for it, please, and let me be the positive voice in your life when your silly brain is making you think otherwise.”

He leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, and his hands move to gently hold your cheeks. After a moment, you reach up and place your hands on his own. Your chest aches at his words, conflicted, but more than anything, you feel grateful.

“Thank you, Asmo.”

“Anytime, darling. I’ll always be more than happy to shower you with the love, praise, and affection that you rightfully deserve.”

Beel: 

Beel loves inviting you to the gym with him, because when he’s done working out, he’s starving, which means it’s a good excuse to go out and have a meal with you.

Most days, sitting on the sidelines at the gym, or hopping on the treadmill and getting a good walk in doesn’t really bother you. Especially because you get to watch Beel as he exercises.

Today, however, you’re feeling entirely too self conscious as you sit on the empty bench press beside the Avatar of Gluttony—watching the way his arms flex as he lifts the heavy weights.

You know that the gym is typically an accepting place—an area where people (or in this case, demons) of any shape and size can come to work out—but you just feel like you don’t belong. Not accompanying Beel, at the very least.

He basically looks like he was handcrafted by god himself (and very well may have been)—his face handsome, and body toned in all of the right places. And here you are, unable to compare to him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

His voice reaches your ears, and you look up to find him staring at you in concern. You can only guess that you’d had a pretty sour look on your face while you’d been lost in your thoughts.

“It’s...it’s nothing, Beel.” You force a smile, not wanting to burden him with your current emotions. He frowns, regarding you for a moment, before he lets it go.

“Okay, I’m gonna change, and then we’ll go eat.”

“Alright,” you respond, immediately pressing to your feet. You head for the door without saying anything, intending to wait for him outside per usual. 

A few minutes later, Beel exits the gym to find you sitting on a bench nearby. Your leg is bouncing anxiously, gaze zoned on the concrete at your feet.

“What’s wrong?” he questions again, taking a seat beside you. His tone indicates that he won’t be accepting “nothing” for an answer this time. 

You knot your hands together in your lap. “I just...do you ever get embarrassed? Bringing me to the gym with you?”

He blinks. “Embarrassed? Why would I?”

“I don’t know, because I’m...not...up to par with a lot of the demons in there? Or, because you look like that, and I look like this, and—”

“I’m lost,” he cuts you off, looking confused. “Are you saying I should be embarrassed because I’m bringing a cute human with me to the gym? Maybe it is a little weird, considering this is the Devildom, but—”

“No, not just because I’m human. I meant—”

This time, he silences you with a kiss. His large hands cup your cheeks, holding you tenderly.

“I know what you meant, Y/N, but I disagree,” he tells you, uncharacteristically serious as he sits back. Then, a bashful smile spreads on his face. “I actually think you’re really adorable. Anytime I look at you I think of my favorite food. I love you just how you are, and will never feel embarrassed having you at my side. So, you should remember that from now on, okay?”

He reaches over and slots your hands together, tugging you to your feet.

“Now, let’s go get some ice cream.”

Belphie:

Both you and Belphie are aware that one of Belphie’s favorite activities is napping with you. Particularly, with his hands wrapped around you, and his face pressed between your shoulder blades.

Recently, you’ve been passing on all of his invitations to share a nap.

And he’s seriously starting to go crazy.

Had he done something to upset you? You always seem normal whenever you’re talking with him and his brothers, but when he sends a text asking you to come over and nap, you’re either busy, or just don’t feel like it.

Today, he decides to try and bring the nap to you.

He waltzes into your room mid-afternoon—pillows and blankets tucked beneath his arms. Without waiting for a response, he makes his way to your bed and sets everything up, making a perfect little fort for the two of you to nap in.

Once it’s set up, he crawls his way inside and then rolls over, turning to face you. 

You’re stood at the edge of the bed, arm awkwardly held in your grasp. You don’t move to join him. Belphie sighs.

“Did I do something wrong?” he finally asks, wanting to resolve the issue if he has. He can’t take this anymore.

“What? No, it’s not you,” you tell him, surprised to hear his question. The demon blinks at you, now even more confused. If he’s not the reason you’ve been avoiding napping with him, then what is?

He fixes you with a curious stare—letting you know that he won’t be leaving until you tell him the truth—and you sigh. 

“I just...haven’t been feeling too good about myself lately,” you admit to him, eyes glancing off to the side. “And because of that, I started thinking about you holding me when we nap, and ended up getting self conscious, wondering if I felt weird in your arms, or if—”

Before you get the chance to continue, Belphegor is grabbing your wrist—tugging you down against the mattress. With your back facing him, he’s quick to scoot up behind you, his arms wrapping around your midsection like normal.

“I never have cared about looks, or any of that stuff,” he mumbles, giving you a squeeze. “You fit perfectly in my arms, and always will, so don’t overthink it.”

“Belphie…”

“I love you for you, okay? I think you’re cute, and all that jazz. Now don’t make me say it again…”

Sounding embarrassed, Belphegor presses a kiss to the back of your head. You place your arms atop his own, smiling softly.

“Thank you.”

And for the first time in weeks, you fall asleep in his arms.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Fools in Love

Summary: He can explain how String Theory works. He can figure out Riemann Hypothesis. He can recite all the numbers of pi until he’s blue in the face. Yet somehow, Spencer Reid can’t figure out what to do for his first first anniversary. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader 

Warnings: Spencer Reid is a self-deprecating mf, Jane Austen quotes? But there’s a happy ending 

Word Count: 3128

Fools in Love

He scratches the back of neck, a nervous habit that he’s sure makes him look weak. He wants to find the perfect recipe to make a wonderful meal for Y/N. It’s his first first anniversary so Spencer’s completely lost as to what to do. Y/N deserves the most romantic dinner, especially considering how much chaos he causes. It must be a lot to put up with him, Spencer thinks. He’s even more useless when it comes to love than when it comes to cooking. While he might not be a fan of technology, given he has the Thai place down the street from his apartment on speed dial. She doesn’t deserve some take out Thai with paper plates. But he’s a scientist, a well-known and well-educated scientist who is completely failing at planning his first anniversary.

It was useless. Completely and utterly useless, Spencer thought to himself as he ran his fingers across the various titles of cookbooks. Some featured complex dishes from Korea and others were 30 minute meals of the vaguely Midwest variety. Spencer never in his entire 33 years of living felt so out of place in a library. He’s so at home in between the stacks of books, he finds the comforting words of long dead authors and intricate mathematical theories a second home. However, it seems that Spencer Reid has found the most intimidating section of the library: cooking.

And what do academics do when they are at a crossroad? Well, they call in the experts. The love expert came in the shape of Agent Derek Morgan himself. This idea just might be the most brilliant thought Spencer’s had or the dumbest, but Y/N is worth it. 

Okay, maybe it was a mistake to come to Derek, Spencer thinks as he sits in front of his friend, a coffee in his hand and an expression of pure fear on his face. 

“You want me to, what?” Spencer asks, shocked at Derek’s suggestive advice.  

“Lie in bed naked, call Y/N on the phone and make something up. You’ll be waiting in bed and then BAM! Anniversary sex,” Derek says, his eyebrows wagging as he sips his coffee. 

“Are you messing with me, Morgan?” Spencer says, his face pale from the very thought of lounging in bed naked, waiting for Y/N to come over to his apartment.

“Why not, I’m sure it would get you laid,” Derek reasons. Get me laid? Spencer and Y/N don’t get laid, he thinks. They do have sex, but it’s not getting laid. It’s more romantic and loving than just whatever Derek suggests. 

God, he can’t tell Derek that, he’d never live it down. 

“You have slept with Y/N, right?” Derek asks, suddenly nervous that he touched a nerve with his friend. As much as he likes to tease, Spencer knows that Derek doesn’t mean any harm, hence why he’s the first person he thought to come to. 

“We prefer to call it making love,” Spencer says, pretending to be very interested in his chocolate donut and trying to fight off the blush that rises to his cheeks. Even a year into their relationship, Spencer still gets butterflies at thinking about Y/N like that. 

“So you want this to be more romantic than just fucking, because you’ve done it for a year?” Derek proposes as simply as if he’s talking about a case. Not that talking about serial victims is anymore normal or weirder than the current conversation. 

“Morgan and you please stop talking about Y/N and sex in the same sentence?” Spencer says through gritted teeth. 

“Reid, kid. I’m just busting your chops, I know who you feel about Y/N. When you two are in the same room, it’s like there’s no one else in the world. And it’s kinda hard to get your mind to focus on one thing, but Y/N does that,” 

“I know,” Spencer says. “I can’t mess this up Derek. I can’t give another person a reason to leave me,” 

“Y/N won’t leave because you can’t plan a terrible anniversary dinner,” Derek says comfortingly. 

“I checked out 7 cookbooks, Morgan. 7, and I read them on the metro home. It’s useless, I’m useless,” Spencer laments.

He looks up to try to read Derek’s expression. The last thing he’d want to see on his face is pity or worse laughter. No, Spencer. Derek is your best friend. He’s the closest thing you have to a brother. Spencer feels almost guilty for thinking that Derek would laugh at him, while he might like to tease him, especially about his lovelife, they trust each other inexplicably. What’s written on Derek’s face is not pity or ridicule, it’s a smile. A smile not for Spencer, but for the colorful woman walking towards their table. 

“You told Garcia?” Spencer groans, but scooting over so Penelope would have a spot to sit with them. 

“Of course I told Garcia, kid. You know better than anyone that we can’t keep anything secret,” Derek explains, leaning in to kiss Garcia’s hand. 

“Spencer Reid! I can’t believe you,” Garcia says, smacking Spencer’s arm lightly. 

“Garcia!” Spencer shouts, clutching his coffee and hunching down in his seat to avoid being hit by the tech goddess with her hard rings on her surprisingly strong hands. 

“Don’t Garcia me, Reid. You need me, whether or not you realize it or not. I’m irreplaceable,” she tells him, grabbing a pink notebook and a fluffy green pen from her bag. 

Spencer nods in understanding, as much as he hates it, he knows that he needs help. It’s just a hard pill to swallow when help comes in the form of Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia, perhaps the two people on Earth who are the most in love. 

“I know I need you guys,” Spencer says, looking from Garcia to Derek, half expecting them to tell him to order some terrifying sex toy from a scretchy store on the edge of town or something equally horrifying. 

“What’s something that she likes? You know like a special thing that Y/N would never think about getting herself” Garcia asks, making notes with the fluffy when that bounces as she writes. 

“She likes to read,” Spencer suggests, thinking about the first date that they had. They talked for hours about their favorite books and ended up getting booted from the library for overstaying their welcome. Y/N found it quite endearing that The Little Prince is Spencer’s while her is anything and everything by Jane Austen. He thinks back to her eyes gleamed when talking about the book, or how passionate she got when she argued that Mr Knightley and Emma were soulmates. 

“Okay, that’s a start Spencer. Really good,” Garcia says, trying to boost her friend’s confidence. 

“What else?” Derek asks, thinking about the times when he and Y/N hang out with Spencer and Penelope. 

“Fret not, Boy Wonder,” Garcia says, softly patting Spencer’s shoulder, “I’ll take care of this,” she finishes as she reaches into her bag, that seems to have a never ending bottom, and pulls out a laptop. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So Garcia and Morgan took over your anniversary plans and basically just made it how they’d want to spend their anniversary?” JJ offers, as she hands Spencer a beer from her refrigerator and sits back down at her kitchen table. 

Spencer takes a swig of his beer and shrugs his shoulders, thinking about how wrong this whole anniversary dinner has gone. 

“I just wanted this to be special, JJ. I know it’s only been a year, but Y/N is it for me. God, she was it for me on the third date,” Spencer confesses. 

“I know, Spence. I’ve never seen you this happy. Happiness looks good on you,” JJ tells him. 

“Y/N makes me happy, she puts up with me, so the least I can do is make this perfect for her,” 

“Spence, don’t sell yourself short,” JJ says, “You’re a kind man and a wonderful boyfriend, you’re both lucky to have each other,” 

“Thank you, JJ, but Y/N is the better person in this relationship. That’s why this needs to be perfect,” Spencer explains, his self doubt still littering his mind. 

“What about a baseball game? You can pay for a message to pop up on the Jumbotron. Like Happy Anniversary, Y/N,” JJ suggests, and Spencer really can’t tell if JJ is joking. She can’t possibly think that Y/N and he would have a romantic anniversary with the threat of getting pelted in the face with a baseball. 

“Sports games are not our forte, JJ. I honestly can’t tell who’d hate sitting in the sun for hours with angry sports fans,” Spencer adds. 

“Okay so no sports, I should have figured, Spence,” JJ winks knowingly. “How about this, think about somewhere that’s special to you two. Somewhere that makes you think of her,” 

“The thing is JJ, everyplace we’ve been together makes me think of her. The elevator when she first kissed me, the movie theater we always go to on Saturday nights, even the sidewalk outside my apartment building. Everything makes me think of her because she’s my everything,” Spencer says, hiding his discomfort at the conversation. 

“Spence, I think that anything you plan, will be wonderful. Have a little trust in yourself for once, Y/N is already head over heels in love with you, so I doubt that she’d really care where you go or what you do,” JJ advises, clearing up the dirty dishes from their Friday night pizza dinner with the boys. 

“I’m going to go JJ, thanks for talking me out of my head. If I took Morgan’s advice, I’d probably end up with a restraining order,” Spencer jokes, putting his jacket on and saying goodbye to his friend. 

“You think you need an Uber?” JJ asks, but immediately finds amusement from Spencer’s disgust at the idea of getting into an Uber. 

“Germs and technology sound like a nightmare, JJ. And I’m not going to remind you of the statistics regarding missing persons and those rideshare apps-” Spencer offers, but is cut off by JJ’s pretend annoyance. 

“Remind me to send Y/N combat pay, you know maybe she is a saint for putting up with you,” JJ teases. 

He walks out into the chill of the night, recounting the advice his friends gave him. Derek and Penelope’s plan was a little outlandish, a little too much for Spencer and Y/N. JJ, who Spencer knows means well, only served to remind him of how hard it must be with him. His steps are slow and languid, but his mind anything but. 

One step, you’re probably just a charity case that Y/N decided to save. 

Two steps, why on Earth would a woman like her even look at a man like you.

Three steps, you’re so pathetic that you can’t even plan a dinner for her. She’s too good for Spencer, you’ll ruin her. 

Everyone who you love leaves you or dies, anyway.

It’s that thought, not the thought of being alone, but the thought that he deserves to be alone that sends the tears down his cheeks. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somehow, someway, Spencer made it back to his apartment. It never felt so dark, so unlike home. Maybe he just didn’t never realized that these walls aren’t home without Y/N. He really should try to get to sleep, but he’d rather fend off sleep with the endless supply of coffee than have to face a night alone in the cold bed. 

Just as Spencer makes his way to prepare a cup of coffee, he hears a distant jiggle of keys and the door knob rattle. And in comes Y/N, as fresh as the cup of coffee brewing and as beautiful as ever. 

“Happy Anniversary, my love,” Y/N tells him, dropping the bags on the floor. She moves over to him like a light breeze. All he wants is to welcome her embrace. He wants to scoop her up and carry her far away from the monsters that lie in wake. He feels an urge to be her protector, but how can be her protector when what he really wants is to be protected. 

“Y/N, what are you doing here, it’s so late,” Spencer says, praying that his voice doesn’t let go. He knows it’s futile, one look from Y/N, her palm to his cheek or even worse a chaste kiss on his forehead, Spencer would not be able to think. What is a genius without his mind? 

“I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, Spence, I just missed you too much,” Y/N says, her voice a prayer that spins around in Spencer’s brain, searching for refuge in his heart. 

“You really missed me?” Spencer asks, desperately wanting to believe her beyond belief. Y/N’s frown searches for an answer in Spencer’s distant expression. Even though they stand there with the kitchen light casting shadows touching as much skin as they can reach, Spencer is a million miles away.

“Of course I missed you, baby. And I just had to give you one of your gifts tonight. I just couldn’t wait to see your face,” Y/N says, practically bouncing as she bounds off to get the package for Spencer. 

“So this is only the first part, and stay with me, I know how much you hate technology, but I think you’ll make an excuse for this,” She tells him, handing him a heavy cube shaped package. It’s decorated in Y/N’s handwritten flowers and hearts, and a cute doodle of who Spencer can only assume is them. His girlfriend may not be artistic. But she’s the artist who paints the stars in Spencer’s night sky. She’s the tailor who sewed him back up when he was broken. She’s the architect who has the key and blueprint to his heart. 

Spencer opens the gift, his hands shaky and unsure. He’s terrified that Y/N can see right though him. He reveals the present. It’s a small wooden box with a red wooden heart that looks like it’s supposed to be pixelated. There’s a blank space on the top, that Spencer supposes is a screen.

“You gotta plug it in, Spence. So the messages can pop up. When you're far away from me saving the world, I can type a message from my phone and it’ll appear on your box,” she explains. Spencer looks up at her trying to search for what he did to get this lucky. 

“Thank you, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Spencer tells her, placing a kiss against her forehead. It’s the kind of kisses that tell you so much more. It’s the kind of kiss you give when you know there’s more where that one came from. It’s safe and warm and everything good about this world. 

“I gotta make sure you won’t forget me when you go traipsing all over the country. A hot genius like you only comes around so often. I’m sure you got loads of attractive people throwing themselves at you, Spence,” she says with a wink. 

“Hot genius?” Spencer repeats half dumbfounded and half joking. 

“Yup, I gotta make sure they know that you’re spoken for,” 

“I couldn’t forget you even if I tried, Y/N. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. I still don’t know what I did to ever deserve you,” Spencer says, as the tears and the fears of not being good enough bubble to the surface. 

“Spencer, baby. You’re shaking. What’s the matter? Huh,” she says softly, brushing her hand over Spencer’s head in a comforting and loving gesture. 

Spencer leans into her, his head pressed into her neck. He can hear her heartbeat and he can smell her perfume. He wants to get lost in her. Get lost in the feeling of total and complete love. 

“I just wanted this to be perfect, Y/N. For you- you deserve so much more than I can give. It must be so hard dating me. I know that I’m difficult to love sometimes,” Spencer murmurs, his tears pouring down his cheeks and spilling like his darkest thoughts onto Y/N’s shirt. 

“Spencer, you make my life so much brighter. So much fuller. I know that you got a lot going on up in that mind of yours and it must be kinda scary. It must be hard always being the guy people expect answers from. But I got you, sweetheart. And I’m not letting go,” Y/N tells him the words falling from lips like a psalm and taking on a new life in Spencer’s heart. 

“Thank you, Y/N. I really wanted this to be the best anniversary. I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” Spencer apologizes as he peppers light, feathery kisses along her collarbone and up to her eyes. 

“Well you’re my mess, Spencer. Let’s be honest, I’d be completely happy to spend our anniversary anywhere with you. Except maybe sports games, that sounds like torture for both of us,” Y/N laughs and Spencer can’t get over how she practically glows in the kitchen light. It could be that his mind is foggy with love, but Spencer hopes that he never grows out of this blissful feeling. 

“Well it’s a good thing we’ll have many more to make up for this one,” Spencer says, letting himself get dragged to the large fluffy sofa. 

“Oh no, Mister. The next 50 anniversaries have to try to top this one,” Y/N tells him and Spencer’s heart skips and flutters at the thought of having another 49 anniversaries with Y/N by his side. 

“I doubt that 50 will be enough, Y/N” 

“As long as you’ll allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you,” Y/N says, cuddling so close to Spencer that she can’t see where her limbs start and Spencer’s end. 

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more,” Spencer says running his spidery fingers down Y/N’s side much to her delight. 

“Ooh are you trying out some Jane Austen foreplay? Because that’s the way to make my panties drop,” Y/N says suggestively as she rubs her hand over Spencer’s chest and rests it on his neck. 

“Maybe tomorrow, I just really want to hold you close right now, Y/N.” Spencer says, sweetly kissing along her temple exciting a bout of giggles from the two of them. 

Spencer very well might be useless when it comes to love, but he was eager to learn that he’s worthy of love from his love expert. 

[all-about-seggs]

A pact in blood-

Rating: 18+, Explicit

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

Word count: ~3K

Warnings: Semi-incest (Satoru is your cousin/ distant relative), masturbation, Cunnilingus, fingering, hand job, the relationship is a bit messed up, yandereish undertones.

A/n: This takes place when he's still in the academy.* Image source*

“AA-ahhh! Please don’t- don’t stop…”,

Your broken pleas reverberated through the room as Satoru’s deft fingers worked their way in and out of your sopping wet hole. You gripped the sturdy jacket that covered his shoulders, folding the fabric between your fists was the only thing you could do to maintain the last shred of composure you had.

He was like a passing cloud who offered you momentary relief and was on his way as soon as your were done, the fragments of longings that remained on your body etched deeper after every night.

Position after position, he went from your pussy over his lips to eating you out ass up and face down, all for the pleasure you couldn’t seem to get by yourself. You were now splayed out on his lap, face buried in his neck and one arm draped over him for support. Waves of his sweet scent and the euphoria assaulting your senses at the same time, taking you closer and closer to the edge.

It’s been quite some time now but the memory of your first encounter with your unfairly gorgeous cousin Satoru has been etched into your mind as if it happened just yesterday.

You were in the manor of the esteemed Gojo clan for a family event and even though you didn’t shared the same surname you were related nonetheless and were hence invited. It was a four day and three night celebration where the entire place was abuzz with excitement.

It didn’t really mattered to you, being here with a go with a flow kind of attitude, you just minded your own business until spoken to and not mingling with the faceless crowd of people you didn’t even knew the names of.

Thankfully your room was in the separate building which was a little bit further from where all the riotous events centered around. After just half a day of being in the middle of the chaos you wanted to find a way to unwind and that’s when it happened.

Stark naked and two fingers up your little cunt, there was no explaining or bullshitting your way out of this situation when the heir of the household, Satoru Gojo himself walked in in you. Feeble attempts to cover yourself and half hearted stutterings died in your mouth as soon as the young man opened his.

“ Wrong”, the deadpan reply of his made your already shaken up state worsen. Panic flooding in your system begged you to make excuses or atleast request him to not speak of this to anyone, after all families of high status are nothing if not conservative and you didn’t wanted to cause anyone any trouble.

“ I meant, y/n chan, that you’re doing it wrong”, not paying any mind to your internal conflict he continued speaking form where he stood near the door, “ don’t you know how to masturbate? I thought you were in highschool?”

His genuinely perplexed tone made you reconsider your previous opinions about the heir to the clan. Satoru, a guy who walked in on a relative masturbating, was supposed to show courtesy and leave the second he entered but instead he was rating your technique, which in all honesty may have been lacking indeed but you were desperate to cum and he seemed to pick up on that.

“ Since you’re clearly having trouble getting off”, he loosened the obi of his particularly formal kimono and shifted his uncovered ocean blue eyes towards your form, “Want me to teach you?”, his question made you gulp, then gauge your eyeballs out in disbelief. Sure you weren’t closely related and have only spoken once or twice but you attended all the occasions and holiday celebrations at their place and knew that your relationship was only platonic. His offer to cross that line made you flinch back at first.

Heaving a sigh he closed the door and sat cross legged on the tatami mat next to your futon.

“ Relax, t’s not a big deal”, flashing a toothy grin he leaned forward until your noses touched.

“ Afterall, I AM your big brother”

“ wait- you’re also in highschool!”, You retorted, “ I bet you’re a virgin too. So what CAN you teach me anyway?”, overcoming the initial embarrassment, your mouth started moving in its own accord only getting encouraged by his laid back demeanor.

“ Pfttt- so you get defensive when cornered? How cute!”, he giggled, a smile teasing at his lips at your obvious attempt to hide the shame burning in your core.

“Don’t worry, I know my way around a pussy just fine”, light hearted words fell effortlessly from his mouth and you could swear half of your brain was short circuiting because of his crude way of speaking. For all his regal appearance, he was just like any other highschooler, a year older than you but his stature and delicate features gave him a magestic aura that exceeds that of people decades older than him.

Just by the few encounters from the past, you figured he wasn’t one for following traditions or rules if it didn’t suit him. He was way above the rest, in his own distant world everytime you saw him, the school he went to, the things he had experienced were all different.

Forgetting the other's existence after passing each other by with a few formalities exchanged was all you had done with each. You two were never close or even friends but now the chance presented itself to take your non existent relationship to the extreme end through your bodies.

You wanted this.

To feel good. The hormones of youth pumping your impulsiveness you relax your muscles and lie on your back. You could clearly hear Satoru’s playfully indifferent chuckle from above when you slowly part your legs to show him the sides of yourself that even you have never completely seen.

“Just this once, okay?”

He said he was just teaching you how to masturbate but it wasn’t that simple. The only person to get naked was you and the only person who experienced the mind numbing pleasure, was also you. He only needed his deft fingers and mouth to make you feel better and for a while you didn’t even question.

That one lesson of self pleasure which you both were supposed to forget turned into an entire session as day after day Satoru would show up at your parents house unbeknownst to a soul and you both crossed the same lines of platonic relationship everyday.

The euphoria was endless but with a single rule that you weren’t allowed to touch him in turn and it goes without saying that the two of you never went all the way. It would always start with small talks about the day, even when you’d be talking, all your focus was on what was to come next.

That’s why after a few weeks of the detached pleasure he provided you, it got you thinking what he actually wanted from you. Satoru had already seen, touched and tasted all your body had to offer, never revealing any of his own.

You wondered if he ever felt sexually frustrated by always giving and never asking for anything in return. You knew he was not THAT nice. At least that’s what you believed considering his sadistic streak in bed. He did seem to be enjoying himself when he's messing you up so maybe he didn’t have many sexual urges that he needed to satisfy and was just acting on curiosity or maybe he had someone else, someone older with more experience who he didn’t constantly had a upper hand with and was able to see them as an equal. This thought alone made your chest tight, with an unnatural pain that threatened to break your heart.

You had to catch your darkening train of thought before it reached to the conclusion you were most afraid of. Knowing full well that this was just a fleeting moment that is only supposed to be enjoyed through a lens of carefree thinking, you push the budding feelings of the some very complicated emotions out of your system. The surge of jealousy you felt may have born out of falling in love with a family member but it was wrong on so many levels.

A love that starts with lust never ends well for anyone but as you were laying in his arms, the control over your body handed completely to him, your mind wondered how things would feel vice versa.

“ You seem distracted y/n”, Satoru looked at you, with his glasses off the beautiful azure eyes hidden beneath a delicate layer of white eyelashes filled your vison.

“ I’m obviously not doing it right if you have time to get lost in your thoughts”, putting you down on your bed, he started to move away and for a minute you got your hopes up, thinking your chance to finally have him completely and you cursed yourself for wanting at the same time. But no amount of berating would scrub off the insatiable thirst you had, for its roots had already made their way to your heart.

“Please let me help you too”, these few words took a lot of guts, letting go of all the inhibitions and threads of morality you fix Satoru with an unwavering gaze.

“ That’s okay babygirl, I’M the one who does the teaching here afterall”, you saw what he was trying to do, his airy yet gentle tone didn’t left much room for argument but the gray zone of your relationship was blurring to the point of confusion urged you to give into your clamoring emotions.

Without a second thought you jumped on him with all your might, closing the distance he put within seconds to cover his mouth with yours. You knew how much you weighed but despite your aggressive actions his sturdy form didn’t even deter form his position while catching you. You twirled your tongue over the roof of his mouth, the taste of your juices still lingering in there.

Hoping to have proven your resolve that wasn’t going to settle for getting brushed aside you break the kiss and look expectantly at him. An invisible bond between the two of you taking shape, strengthening the magnetism that attracted you to him.

“ That eager for my cock are you?”, Taking your face in one of his huge hand he makes you look straight at him, “You really want more? More than I'm already giving you?”, just one more push. You thought, with just a bit of coaxing, you were sure Satoru's wishy washy rules would crumble to make way for your upcoming actions.

“ I do. I know exactly what I want but”, steeling your nerves you face him, eye to eye, “ What do YOU want?”. The question was simple but the conflict swirling within Satoru’s eyes was evident and for the first time you realised that maybe this wasn’t just a case of casual hookup for him as well.

“ I want all your firsts. That’s all.” After a short stretch of silence he spoke, ironically the borderline obsessiveness of his glib response, like magic, cleared away the fog was previously clouding your mind. The nonchalance of his smirk should've been the red flag that made you rethink your life choices but the heat of the moment only seemed to ignite your lust.

Not uttering a single word, you quickly work on shedding him off his cloths, he doesn’t make any attempts at stopping you this time around, this knowledge pulling a smile out of you. By the time you reached for his boxers your hands were shaking.

Whether from excitement or nervousness you couldn’t tell but looking down through the veil of his heavy eyelashes, Satoru’s passion was evident.

Eyeing up his exposed body you still for a moment to take it all in. You ran you hands through his sculpted chest and down to his abdomen, your nails scratching the surface of his defined muscles. All of his masculinity contrasted with his oddly sweet scent and velvety pink lips that never failed to lure you in for deep soft kisses.

There’s no doubt girls must be always fawning over him and his perfectly smooth skin was something that even made you jealous. You were so captivated by his looks that you had to shake yourself free from your lovesick stupor .

You feel him up a little, hands running across his toned chest, you drag your nails through the rise and dips of his abdomen down to the contours of his defined V- line before turning your attention to his hardening member. Your breath quickens as your trembling fingers hook beneath his waistband.

Taking out his pulsating member you run your eyes up and down his entire length. He was big, to say at the very least. Bigger than you'd expected and more than you thought you could handle but backing out now would be straight up hypocrisy when your drooling mouth said otherwise.

With your ass right next to his chest, you start licking and sucking his tip with fervour, not wanting to waste even a single drop of his cum that you wanted so bad. You heard him moan lightly behind you, his voice only fuelled the fire that was burning your core. Having never given a blow job to anyone before you struggled in keeping a steady pace and his girthy cock didn’t make it any easier on you.

In just a few minutes you jaw ached and your entire face hurted but Satoru showed no signs of cumming.

In your own world again, you racked up your brain to figure out how to please him when suddenly you felt a hand climbing up your thigh. With the other hand he gripped your hips and pulled your lower half until you were straddling his mouth.

“ It’s a lot better like this don’t you think?”, as he spoke you felt his breath caressing your nether lips and you shivered in delight at the new position.

He snaked his hands in between your thighs and spread open your slit, glistening with your dripping arousal using his thumbs. Every single fold of yours now in display Satoru licked his plush lips before leaving open mouthed kisses on the exposed skin. His lips pulling out a series of appreciative hums as you desperately try to focus on your own actions.

Taking his hard length half in your mouth and half in one of your hand you tried to match the skilful movements of Satoru’s tongue that relentlessly lapped at your clit. After a few minutes of trying and failing to suck him up properly your senses got completely clouded by the heavy onslaught of that familiar release you had gotten used to.

You wanted to ask him to stop so you catch up to him but he the vigor in his actions and your own overwhelming surge of desires made you decide against it, the broken stings of his name died down with you still half choking on his length.

The only thing your lust laden mind could decipher except for pleasure was shame. To you, it was shameful how, being the one who asked to touch him, you were the one tethering near the edge. Before long your convulsing pussy was dripping with your juices, trickling down from his face that was still buried nose deep in your crotch.

Messing you up always filled Satoru with a kind of affection that he didn’t thought he was capable of.

Your cute whines getting muffled by his cock that you could only take half way past your llip sent waves of ecstasy down his spine. The cum that kept on flowing from your aching hole that he was the first to taste and the last as well took him to a high that no amount of pleasure could.

He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be the provider of your everything who had complete control over you or if he just wanted to spend hours into the night, praising every fibre of your being that was so eager to make him feel good. This duality of his thoughts confused him further and in that moment he knew he had to see this to the end.

Your heavy pants was the only thing that could be heard in the otherwise silent room, guilt and pleasure leaving you tongue tied. You move yourself from above him, your quivering body falling like a sac just beside his own.

“ I’m sorry! I couldn’t make you-“, before you could finish your breathy apology he brought up a finger near your frowning lips to quite you down.

“Its okay sugar, it was your first time. Not a big deal.”, the soft notes of his voice took the edge off of the disappointment you felt, “I told you. I’ll teach you everything.”

Those eyes. Two shining orbs of brilliant blue gazed at you in the same way you found yourself staring at him. Watching over you like it was their birthright and oddly enough, the scrutiny made you feel completly at home just like the warmth of his long arms that wrapped themselves around you.

" Realx Y/n, I'll be very thourough with my teaching, afterall,", your heart thumped loudly in your chest in response to his smooth voice, "I don't do things halfway.

The pleasent fatigue that had taken a hold of your body slowly dissipated but the growing haziness of your mind got you wondering if you were falling in deepness of his ocean blue eyes but as soon realization hit you, you were already halfway through blacking out.

That you’d never be forgiven for wanting.

From that moment on, you knew.

Part 2? Idk you tell me(╯︵╰,)

[tealincubusspeckles]

Love Locket 14: Three Of A Kind

〠 Siblings remind me of the Joker's statement to Harley Quinn in Batman Vengeance on the Nintendo Gamecube:       〝 I can't live with you, can't live without you. 〞

❣ There are some siblings who have better control of their emotions and outbursts than the siblings. Just as there are some who are more honest or sinister than the rest. To those with siblings, you know what I mean and how fights can get much worse than described. Yet, no matter how much siblings fight there is always a bond of blood. Siblings havd an idea of the other children's limits and pose to challenge them even if that leads to the other's frustration. To those without siblings, this short is not the best example. I was just bored.

WHY I wrote this? I have been thinking who Matthew considers himself close to out of his siblings. Recently when I replayed Seduce Me 1 I can see how: 1. Matthew respects James. However, James does not see Matthew as an equal always opting to correct Matthew instead of acknowledging Matthew’s efforts. Granted James probably prefers to monitor situations from a distance before acting. Yet, if this was the case this means James is aware that by correcting Matthew he keeps Matthew in a younger and lower position than himself. 

2. Matthew and Erik often verbally jab each other. I don’t want write their habitual fighting as simply “their personalities don’t get along”. For me, I see that these two argue because they work in similar ways. Both men are opportunistic, social butterflies, who often consider others first before themselves. They are aware of other’s opinions towards them and use other’s assumptions of them to their eventual advantage. However, these men demonstrate their social abilities is very differently, Erik was trained to be flirtatious, courteous, and graceful with every person he met in order to gain something from them. Matthew was raised as the emotional support of his mother meaning he had to be visibly strong from a young age without much guidance. Matthew does not go into all situations seeking to gain something, rather he is aware of how emotions can be used against someone else. Meaning Matthew has potential to mental break someone yet he does not want to repeat the pain he felt or what he saw his mother go through. Therefore, I see these two “getting along” by giving backhanded compliments to each other. They both know each other’s prowess with words and refuse to back down from trying to one up each other. Yet Erik is usually backed up by James. James is aka a person Matthew will never fight against.

3. Sam is aware of Matthew. Sam is a VERY PROUD being, hates when he perceives others making fun of him, and sees everything as “offensive” if it does not go his way. Matthew is proud as well however he can see from another person’s perspective when he puts his mind to it and will asks questions rather than jump onto his emotions. Matthew is aware that Sam is more reactive than he is and probably gets Sam in trouble for his own amusement because Sam doesn’t know how to chill out. Thus, Sam and Matthew can be seen annoying each other.

4. Matthew is older than Damien and is most likely to use Damien's ability. Matthew and Damien are both aware of how they use each other. So for them it is not entirely brother looking out for brother. Their relationship feels more like "If you scratch my back I will scratch yours". Matthew natrually tries to keep tabs on everyone and Damien is like his informant. Meaning Matthew has go guard his thoughts as well as his actions around Damien. Hence, Matthew is the most used to Damien's ability than his other brothers.

Zacearu sat on a stone step leading out into the battle yard eating thin slices of potato skins. As he snacked he took sips of fruit juice. A few moments later Aomaris dropped down at the base of the stairs exhausted.

"…You want some?" Zacearu said holding out the simple wooden bowl of potato skins to his brother

Aomaris huffed still catching his breath looking away.

Zacearu shrugged and continued to snack by himself "You sucked!" Zacearu said

Aomaris growled and rolled onto his stomach then quickly snatched the satchel Zacearu was drinking from.

"Hey!" Zacearu hollered by made no move to fight for the drink, but he looked upset

Aomaris took a few big gulps ignoring his brother then sighed and handed it back.

"Yeah I couldn't land a hit today, but he said I am getting better!" Aomaris said wiping his mouth then looking to his brother "That's good. Taste fresh."

Zacaeru nodded "Yeah I mixed two different fruit drinks from last time. They blend well together."

Aomaris gave a simple not plopping himself on the step in front of his brother. This way at least one side of the staircase was available for beings to pass.

"You got fed up?" Aomaris asked as he stretched to relax

Zacaeru lifted and chewed on a new chip in response. Aomaris looked at his brother's face and smirked

"That bad huh?" Aomaris mused "Don't feel bad we were only born as replacements. If Bookworm succeeds then we can kiss this stone prison goodbye!"

"You just don't want to put effort, lazy ass." Zacearu said placing down the bowl beside him

"No! I'm not lazy I am choosing to put my effort where it can be useful!" Aomaris huffed

"So you want to grow up to be a musclehead! Your no better than minatour!" Zacearu hollard

"Oh! Of course you think that! Those rumors are brainwashing you!" Aomaris said in a solid tone

Before Zacearu could quip back a voice cut in from down a hall "Little boy blue blindly accepts what others say are true. For he is only a boy remember?"

Zacearu quickly turned towards the voice and threw a sumonded knife. As the knife sailed towards it's target, it was slapped out of the way by a tendril. Uzaeris sighed then dismissed the tendril with a wave as he approached

"Your accuracy is getting better" Uzaeris said

"I wasn't aiming for you." Zaceru said then shrugged his shoulders "Besides I am not taking your place in court to sweet talk others."

Uzaeris furrowed his brows and looked beside him. Walking away from them was a small imp running away. Their was a slight smell of blood in the air but no trail. Uzaeris simply sighed and ran a hand three his hair taking a seat beside the bowl.

"My thanks…" Uzaeris said then helped himself to a potato skin

"You knew didn't  you?" Aomaris asked

"Of course, but I wasn't going to scare them off. They just want gossip so let them have it" Uzaeris shrugged taking another potato skin

Zacearu looked to the ceiling and mummbled to himself before sitting down with a huff

"Say something?…People can't choose who they are related to" Uzaeris said

"…Your hearing is good but your not very good at listening" Zacearu said

"Not true. I have selective hearing." Uzaeris said with a smile

"Same thing!" Zacearu hollered

"OK shut up shrimp! We are here becuasw of your ass now spill" Solaris said distracting the two

Zacearu growled and ruffled his own hair, he seemed aggrivated. The next moment he shouted and let out a breath

"FINE! …So in the nortwest tower I found a few loose bricks. The area needs maintaince, but we can use that area as an escape." Zacearu said

"Isn't that place guarded becuase of Lady Frills?" Uzaeris asked

"What the fu—?" Aomaris was cut off

"TYPICALLY yes. But, around the evening when the sun is low the Lady leaves to check the library." Zaceru said

"Great! So we go tomorrow evening." Aomaris said

"Hold on! Not so fast. To my knowledge she only went there to visit Mr. Encyclopedia. I know he is going to studying battle tactics tomorrow. Meaning he won't be there. You know if I know most likely everyone else knows." Uzearis points out

"Damn. Wait a minute isn't  uh Jai teaching that in the morning?" Solaris asked

"Yup! Yout should know you take combat classes with them in the evening…You think Lady Frills will join in the morning then?" Zacearu asked

"Probably?… Are you suggesting we leave earlier? We won't have coverage and might get caught faster." Uzaeris said

"Then we focus on not getting caught. Nothing a quick spell won't  fix. You should know the one I mean" Zacearu said

"Oh no! Last time we tried that I was stuck like a rat for about a week!" Aomaris said

"I know that was hilarious. But! Calm down I have adjusted it…I just haven't tested it yet" Zacearu said

"If you have a tester by tonight I can tell you how fast it worked." Uzaeris said with a shrug

"You have a target already?" Aomaris asked

"Let's just say the little imp from before volunteered himself. Tracking magic is one of my specialities." Uzaeris smirked and leaned back a little on the step

"That and being obnoxious." Zacearu mummbled

"No more than you are. So will you give me it soon?" Uzaeris asked

Zacearu smiled stiffly towards Uzaeris "I'll slip it in your drink and food."

"Then I have to be sure to eat what you eat first" Uzaeris said with a cool smile

"I wouldn't trust that either. He got a stomach of iron I swear" Aomaris said giving a shake of his head

"True he did eat swine raw a few times." Uzaeris said

"I was only ate it raw once out of pure curosity! The other times were when I would suck on the bones after letting it sit in hot soup!" Zacearu said

"Still raw." Aomaris said

"Hey but at least someone is more of a beast than you are." Uzaeris said with a smirk

Aomaris growled while Zacearu stared in wide eyed at Uzaeris

"Why did I hold back on you?" Zacearu asked Uzaeris

Uzaeris simply laughed at the comment while Aomaris crossed his arms

"Because you are stupid." Aomaris huffed crossing his arms.

Zacearu swipped the bowl of chips to throw towards Aomaris, but Aomaris was always faster so he managed to dodge the bowl. However, Aomaris got nicked from the knife Zacearu had coming from the other direction. In response Aomaris used his energy to lash out and grab Zacearu and pull him down. Before the two could tumble down the steps tendrils pulled the two apart. The tendrils had to wrap tighter around Zacearu because the young blue boy kept struggling.

"Surely you don't think faliing down steps is a good idea." Uzaeris asked

"We can fly should we want just fine. Let him go. If he wants to fight I will be happy to deliver" Aomaris taunted

Zacearu eyes flashed in challenge and suddenly small pelts shot out towards Aomaris. But these pelts missed.

Aomaris stood at on the tendril holding Zacearu and bent to smacked the blue incubus on the back of the head causing Zacearu to grumble.

"Do not regret you actions and don't be a loser by playing dirty." Aomaris said

"…Unless you have to" Uzaeris quipped and snapped the tendrils lowered the two others to the ground

"Nah. Blue isn't like you" Aomaris said looking over to Zacearu

Zacearu only placed a hand on his neck and looked away

"You think so?" Uzaeris asked with a smile

"Look. Are we going with the plan or not? The longer we are out here the more likely we will get caught" Zacearu huffed then looked to his older siblings

"Yeah. Keep us posted, Blue" Aomaris said and started to walk away checking in on his side

Uzaeris instead stepped forward to Zacearu and spoke a spell to clean up the area just in case any potato skins were left behind. The boys although related to royal blood were not slobs.

"You knew I was busy and would come late to this meeting. There must be a reason you let Aomaris walk away." Uzaeris said looking serious

Zacearu's frustrated expression eased into a smile "Ah the Red Ram isn't as dumb as he looks"

Uzaeris scoffed and shook his head "Alright out with it"

Zacearu held out his hand and summoned a map rolling it out to show Uzaeris

"So right were we are going to meet. There seems to be a spell surrounding that area that goes off if someone crosses it. Some guards seem to get by it just fine. I need to fine tune a spell or rather YOU can feel the details of the spell to let us cross." Zacearu said

"I see… You say that as if looking at the fine tunings of magic is easy" Uzaeris said with a scowl

"It should be for you anyway" Zacearu said looking to Uzaeris with a smirk "I don't know anyone in this castle as proficient with magic as you"

"You aren't so bad yourself" Uzaeris said with a shrug

"I still need practice. The day I outshine you isn't anytime soon. So here. I trust you" Zacearu said with a smile and handed over the map to Uzaeris

Uzaeris sighed and took the map. Zacearu chuckled and then walked away. Leaving Uzaeris with the map and more questions as to why he continued to hang around his siblings even though all they did was get into petty fights?

[rux363]

Day 3 of ShinRan week! It was too good of a prompt to miss!

More on the story under the cut

Rambling timeeeee

This one's a little sad and angsty - which you will see why later haha (ain't gonna tell you yet) It's incomplete and is historically inaccurate - I just mash whatever I felt like

- Sonoko is the second daughter from the Suzukis - a very high ranking family who's heavily in finance and merchants

- Shinichi is the first son from the Kudos - a high ranking family as well, but lower than the Suzukis

- Shinichi and Sonoko are engaged together since young due to family lineage.

- Ran is a commoner happened to meet and help Sonoko and Shinichi when they was in danger. This happened when they were young and Shin+Sono was on the streets for the fist time.

- Sonoko's very impressed with Ran, decides to bring her in as a maid, which later on becomes her exclusive lady-in-waiting. The relationship between the three of them when they're in private are almost like canon, aside from the formalities and topic of discussions and I'm sure other stuff haha

- And over the course, Shinichi and Ran fell in love.

- But they never officiallise it nor say it out loud because of circumstances in which...

- Sonoko's older sister, rather than inheriting the family name, falls in love with another noble and marries him, leaving Sonoko the duty to carry the name.

- Conan, Shinichi's younger brother by 10 years was born around the time when Sonoko's sister declared that she wants to marry the person she fell in love with, making it possible for Shinichi to marry into the Suzukis, rather than Sonoko marrying into the Kudos since Conan can inherit the name.

- By law, whoever is marrying into a family is unable to take on another lover because the duty of the person marrying into the family is to continue that family's blood.

- Meaning, Sonoko can marry Shinichi and take on a lover (Makoto, a commoner knight who she fell in love with), but Shinichi cannot take on a lover.

- And by another law, no legal/official marriage can occur between a noble and commoner, unless approved by the crown. Which basically never happened before.

- Sonoko is aware of her friends feelings, and encourage them to elope together. She suggests it to Ran before but was rejected, hence she tried to pitch it to Shinichi (who of course accepted the idea)

- She calls upon Ran, basically dresses her up in the name of "playing dress up" (which was common since commoners were not seen as equal) and sends her off to a place where the three of them used to play together. Ran is confused, but she goes along with it

- Which results in the scene above - Shinichi swearing a knight oath to Ran and proposing to her to elope together

- However Ran touched and happy that Shinichi was willing to go so far for her, but refuses.

- Going with Shinichi's plan meant that Sonoko has to marry someone else to succeed her family, but there's a lot of sht suitors who sees Sonoko for her family name and wealth and can bring harm to her. Ran doesn't want that.

- It also meant that Shinichi will lose his title and be on the run with her, since this is against the law. Shinichi's plan was also a little idealistic and doesn't properly understand how hard it may be. There's also the risk that it is only because of how comfortable he is right now, that he is comfortable to pursue her and love her.

- Love isn't able to overcome everything. It's not a fairytale after all.

- In the end, Shinichi marries Sonoko. Sonoko tries not to do it with Shinichi out of consideration to Ran and the fact that she has a lover already, even tried to give the first night to Ran. But Ran reminds her that she has to do it for the family and that Sonoko and Shinichi has her blessings.

- Makoto is eventually brought into the family as a concubine but is not allowed to touch Sonoko until a child is born between Sonoko and Shinichi.

- Albeit painful, Ran stays faithfully by their sides and does not engage in any romantic relationship until her death.

[starstruck-shima]

❄️Kaeya meets a Bunny Girl Senpai❄️

Notes: Kinda crack, references to Kaeya’s backstory, fem reader, heavily based off of/inspired by Bunny Girl Senpai.

“In which Kaeya questions his sanity over a wild bunny girl that only he could see.”

Sometimes, he wonders if he’s finally lost it. After all those years of working in the knights, experiencing the shithole that was his early childhood, and the split that happened between him and the man he still saw as his sworn brother, you’d be pleasantly surprised to see how Kaeya still persevered and became the infamous cavalry captain we all know and love today.

And yet there he was, taking a double take on the sight before him during his rounds around the city. More specifically, the sight in question was that of a girl, just around his age--yet unlike him, who at least considered donning on some type of protective wear (wether it was for the weather or public decency, perhaps both), she opted for a less... conventional outfit. It was the bunny ears that really caught his attention though. 

He’s less intrigued by the black leotard, tights, and heels and more interested on who you are and why are you doing this. A wild bunny girl, with a vision strapped onto your collar too... you were most certainly a big deal. Yet why did no one bat an eye at you, or at least your appearance? 

“You’re staring.” Those were the first words you said to him, and Kaeya blinks--seeing bunny ears nearly obstruct his vision. You could talk. He’s either imagining things even more or it was a sign that you had a mind of your own. Either way, he’s still a bit taken aback. “Huh, you can still see me.”

“Forgive me, I just couldn’t help but notice you. What brings you to Mondstadt?” He tries to carry on a conversation--a surmise way for him to ease someone into at least spilling a bit of info on them.

Your next answer caught him off guard. “I live here.” That certainly raised his suspicions. He’s been patrolling around Mondstadt for years, to the point where he knows the familiar faces of regulars at the Angel’s Share bar, and even the names and schedules of the knights who guard the city walls. Who exactly were you? Perhaps you were new? But you didn’t look like an outsider either... you felt right at home in Mondstadt.

“I’m (Y/n) (L/n), part of the Knights of Favonius.” His eyes widened a bit at the revelation. You were part of the knights? “Forget what you saw today. Farewell.” Before he could inquire further, you had disappeared right there and then.

Kaeya takes it upon himself to immediately read up on you. Records, testimonies from fellow knights, checking your rank, asking Lisa, he did it all. His findings surprised him even more--not much was known about you, and from what he heard, you’ve barely even showed your face--or rather, not much have actually seen you around. Some can’t even recall your appearance. Yet the records state otherwise. You definitely existed. 

And so, Kaeya’s trip down down the rabbit hole had begun. After all, someone had to get to the bottom of this, and frankly, he was pretty much the only one who could, considering the circumstances.

It wasn’t long until you noticed his behavior, and it led to another chance encounter. This time, in front of your house. You knew he would’ve eventually found out in the records, yet you were surprised at his perseverance nonetheless. What was his deal? “Cavalry captain, why are you so persistent?”

He chuckles. “So you do know me.”You roll your eyes a bit. It was nothing, really. He was a huge a name here after all. 

When you ask him why he cared for your case so much, he simply responds like it was common sense. You still don’t understand why. ”It’d be bad for me to let you run off on your own, you know? Especially in that.” His eyes gesture onto your clothing. Right, you almost forgot. “Consider it a favor.”

And thus, began your strange friendship with Kaeya.

It started a bit rocky, but as time passed, the two of you started to see past your differences. Petty remarks turned into playful banter, and suspicions were cast aside into genuine fondness--though none of you openly admitted to that.

Kaeya soon learns more of your predicament, after patiently waiting for you to be ready to open up. It started with an incident in your lab--you were testing the limits of elemental reactions, which led to an explosion. 

At first, you thought there wouldn’t be any side effects, however, you quickly learned that the opposite was true, when Sucrose came to check up on the noise... yet didn’t notice you in the room. It only got worse from there.

So, you tried to test another theory. People were sure to notice and have a bigger impression of you in their memory if you caught their attention, right? Perhaps by making a huge impression, it’ll trigger a memory--hence causing them to remember. So, you opted for something that would definitely be a sight worth seeing (and remembering, to an extent). That was how you ended up as Mondstadt’s wild bunny girl, hopping around the city as a phenomenon waiting to be seen.

Yet somehow, only one man did. And amidst the time you had to bond, wether it was during a quiet meal in your abode after he helped you in getting groceries, or looking through the library for hints to solve your predicament, Kaeya and you proved to be quite the close pair.

Time was ticking however, and you knew that if Kaeya and you couldn’t find a solution, then sooner or later, you’d be gone for good. Left to be forgotten. A failed experiment.

It was something you never told Kaeya--something you kept hidden in your many papers dedicated in solving your predicament. You kept convincing yourself that it was better this way. He could go back to his knightly duties and continue protecting Mondstadt without an extra burden.

But what you didn’t know was that he found out. It was all adding up, really--the way you started to distance yourself from him, how you began stocking up on food, and the notes he read behind your back when you were away. 

...Which meant he also read about the details of your planned experiment to make him lose his memory. And he didn’t like the idea one bit. He’d never abandon you after all you’ve been through. He hates the very idea of such.

So one day, when you asked him to meet you in front of the gates, wearing that same old bunny girl suit for shits and giggles, he knew what he was getting into. He calculated the time you’d finish prepping your little memory loss experiment, and today was the day.

You thought everything was going as planned. Kaeya didn’t once suspect the drink you gave him. Your first mistake. Your second was letting your guard down... as Kaeya had immediately chucked the drink into your lips, forcing you to gulp it down, choking in disbelief. Wait... did you see him spit it out right as he did that?!

“You--” coughing, you look at Kaeya in distraught. “YOU KNEW?!”

But the man merely chuckles, quoting a friend that helped him solve the mystery. Of course, in return, he had to submit a full, detailed report on your entire predicament, but he could care less. Thank you Albedo.“With equal force comes equal reaction.” 

“I still don’t get what you mean--” you stiffen, suddenly feeling eyes on you, several people saying your name. Wait... if they remembered your name, could they see you?

“So that was where you ran off to,” You almost cry tears of joy when Albedo actually talks to you, walking alongside Sucrose to where you were situated. “I expect a huge explanation on how all of this happened--” he briefly turns to Kaeya. “--And everything in between.”

Still in the high of euphoria, you don’t notice the cold night air until Sucrose brings you back to reality. “Um... Ms. (Y/n), not to be rude, but... aren’t you cold in that?”

You stiffen, your mind wanting you to slap the blue haired man behind you for laughing hysterically in response. Right, almost forgot about that.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

A Tiadrin theory

I woke up this morning with a sudden headcanon about Tiadrin, and as I poked at it, it filled out nicely, so I’m gonna go ahead and call it a theory at this point.

It gets angsty, as all good Moonshadow theories do. If your heart doesn’t weigh 6 tons by the time you reach the end of this post, I didn’t capture the feeling properly.

Several bits of detail flutter around this mysterious woman, and I’ve theorized various versions of her circumstances, her relationship with Runaan and Ethari, her former position before the Storm Spire, the reasons she went there, and the reasons Runaan was so hellbent on avenging her dishonor.

I don’t think any of them landed as well or tied together as neatly as this one, though. Hence “theory” instead of just “headcanon.” Here we go:

FIrstly, some meta information. This is a fun tweet, but in this post I’m looking directly at “belief systems as sources of both comfort and restraint” and at the “weight of guilt” and “cycles of trauma” lines, in regards to Moonshadow culture, and specifically Moonshadow assassin training.

And raise your hand if you’ve been looking further afield than the front-and-center Janaya-with-Soren nod from “ripped women who teach soft boys to stab,” because I have. TDP is full of parallels and imperfect mirrors.

So, in the spirit of soft yet angsty cycles and the ripped women who perpetuate them, Theory Part I: Tiadrin trained Runaan, because she was the leader of the assassins before he was.

She’s referred to as a mastermind. Assassin leaders need to be good with plans of all sizes. We’ve seen how Runaan silently adapts to chaos and doesn’t tell anyone what his new plans actually are. He’s a good leader. But he also had to learn those skills from someone. Whoever instructed him was a tactical genius, and also very Moonshadow, and Runaan was an adept student.

Also, Tiadrin is a goddamn badass. She’s several inches shorter than Lain, Runaan, Ethari, and Viren. But she is a powerhouse in battle. She knows her physics well enough to drag this 6′2″ human battle mage skidding across the floor. Monster thighs, monster intellect.

As a 5′4″ woman who trained in jujitsu for several years, let me just say: gender equality in battle is great, but physics does not care. It will crush your popsicle-stick ass if you try to chuck a 250 lb person across the room and your math is off. The most accurate fighters are the ones who know how hard physics hits back when you’re sloppy.

Tiadrin earned every inch of respect, and every inch of her thigh circumference, the old-fashioned way. She worked for it, all day every day. Runaan does the same thing. He might have half a foot of height on her, but he trains like the world will crush him if he’s not perfect. And that’s very Moonshadow assassin in its own right, because it will, and it tried. Tiadrin knew what she needed. And she knew what Runaan, soft boy that he is, needed. And she made sure she trained it into him, all day every day.

Tiadrin is one of the reasons that Runaan survived the fight in Harrow’s chamber. She made him the fighter he is, the person he is, and that was just enough to pull him through... so he could see his own mentor trapped in a coin. Yay, thanks Viren.

Theory Part II: Runaan’s squad was made up of all the elves Tiadrin has personally trained, or trained by proxy.

If Tiadrin was Runaan’s trainer and mentor, then her honor was his honor. And when she supposedly faltered and fled at the Storm Spire, that suddenly cast him, as an individual assassin and as the current assassin leader, in a terrible light. If his mentor was a coward, what did she teach him? Would he also duck and run when things got hopeless, and abandon his duty?

The doubt that must’ve swirled around him when the village learned the terrible news about Lain and Tiadrin must’ve sliced right through him. Thousand-yard stare, biggest internal Oh No ever. Runaan lives to serve his people, and to have them doubt him, after all he has done to train them and protect them from harm, would be the worst kind of pain. He had to make it right.

But not just him. Assassins seem to take solo missions even for their first kill, if Eljaal’s covered shoulders are any indication. You can Moonshadow your feels if you don’t have to watch your friend kill someone, if you don’t have anyone watching while you stab someone to death. You can pretend it’s all serene and just and smooth and valid and honorable. You can hold to your love of life and dance right past your embrace of death, if no one else sees it. But Runaan’s mission had 6 members. They were definitely going to have to watch each other murder people. Why?

Tiadrin’s honor was their honor. An extended family of brothers, sisters, cousins, fosterlings, anyone who was drawn to Tiadrin, or her to them, bonded together over their family feels and protective instincts. They were family. And then their leader fell, her honor crushed.

They had to make it right.

They all carried Tiadrin’s honor with their own, taught by her personally, regarded as honorable assassins. Until she seemed to have a fatal flaw in her character. Then everyone wondered if that flaw got passed down, too. The assassins had to prove that it hadn’t been, for the sake of their people, and for all of Xadia who trusted them to take out threats in the dark. They had to go set right Tiadrin’s “mistake” and take Harrow for Zym’s death. All of them. Every single one, no exceptions.

No exceptions. That’s why Rayla had to go, too. Tiadrin taught Runaan everything he knew about being an assassin, and when she moved to the Storm Spire, Runaan dutifully passed Rayla’s mother’s teachings to Rayla herself, feeling like part of the family, an essential connection between mother and daughter, between assassin mentor and mentee. He tried to get it just right, just perfect, so Rayla would feel like she’d been trained by her actual mom as much as possible. Not just because Tiadrin was Rayla’s mother, but because Runaan respects Tiadrin’s prowess so much. She was the best, and every bit of Runaan’s efforts to be his best reflects his respect for her.

You don’t get to be the assassin leader unless you’re the best there is. Runaan knows that from both sides. And just like Tiadrin did with him, he does his best to teach Rayla everything she needs to stay safe and alive, so she can do her duty too, and come home safe to her family every day.

And, in the end, part of that duty had to be avenging her mentor’s mentor, her own mother, by accompanying Runaan on his mission. Her lessons were from Tiadrin, one step removed. If there was a flaw in her training, no one would trust her when it was her turn to lead the assassins, and she’s not even done training yet! Rayla understood Moonshadow honor, assassin honor. She was driven to ask Runaan to take her with him, and he could see exactly where she was coming from. Their honor was tangled up with Tiadrin’s. They couldn’t back out. They had to go to Katolis, them and everyone else Tiadrin had trained.

That’s why the binding ribbons came out. They were in a do-or-die situation, in the most literal sense.

They could not go home in failure. If they all failed, it would take out a whole line of assassin training, possibly the same one that had lasted for countless generations (okay maybe we can count them and there are like 30) and crush the Moonshadows’ spirits. And they’d literally rather die than see that happen. They were all ready to give their lives to restore Tiadrin’s honor, and their own, because without her legacy, there would be such a crater in the assassin corps that it might never recover.

Yes, this is basically my angsty “Runaan’s found family went into battle together and most of them died” headcanon again, but this time with a solid theory behind it. I’m not sorry. I love this angsty idea, it’s horrible. Do you see the cycle of trauma? I’ve got one more part to add, which may make it clearer.

Theory Part III: Assassin leaders always go serve at the Storm Spire once they successfully train their own replacement.

In this theory’s version of Why Laindrin Went To The Storm Spire, Tiadrin was always going to end up at the Storm Spire, once she became the assassin leader. That’s where the veteran assassin leader goes, see, to liaison between the dragon throne and the current Moonshadow leader. They know the assassins’ skills far better than any Skywings or dragons do, and they know the leader in charge of them, so they can give guidance or direction as needed, or simply phrase the Dragon King or Queen’s request in such language that the assassin leader knows intuitively what really needs to be done.

Yeah, Tiadrin writing Runaan mission directives. I can see it.

Tiadrin’s mentor would’ve left for the Spire when Tiadrin got promoted to leader. The person she trusted most in the world, who had trained her, left her behind, only to communicate by long distance. Moonshadow deniability, amirite--we’re not stabbing people, we’re sending tactical correspondence, yep that’s it. But Tiadrin was still surrounded by Runaan and the other young assassins, and she bonded with them all, and life was bright.

Then, the shadow came once again. Runaan was an excellent student, and she knew he was ready. Maybe she delayed, and delayed, Moonshadowing her reasons. Maybe she wanted the chance to bring life into the world, to try to balance out some of the death she had dealt. Maybe she wanted a few more years of domestic life in the Silvergrove with all her favorite elves, to bolster her heart for the years to come. Maybe her mentor at the Spire was up to shenaniganry in dragon politics and she wanted to buy them more time to lay those plans in place.

Knowing Tiadrin even the slightest bit, I will assume it was all this and more. But eventually, she couldn’t put things off any longer. She had to go fulfill her duty to the dragon throne and join the Dragonguard as the representative of the Moonshadow assassins who had bound themselves to the protection of Xadia long ago. She had to walk away from her bright life, her family, her friends, her allies, and climb up into that misty stone tower, to spend who knows how long away from everything she knew and loved.

And she did. She chose to walk away, for love of Xadia. She took her beloved husband with her, but she left the Silvergrove, Xadia’s protection, and her own daughter’s upbringing in the hands of the elf she chose to replace her. The soft boy she’d taught to stab, who would teach her baby girl to stab, too.

Because this is The Way.

I know I’ve had an angsty headcanon that assassins don’t retire. But, consider this: maybe one of them can. One of Tiadrin’s many plans could have been counting on Runaan’s extreme prowess and devotion to Rayla. If Tiadrin knew that she could return to the Silvergrove in peace and retire there with Lain once Runaan trained Rayla to take his place as the assassin leader, then she could live in the Silvergrove again for the rest of her life, and also get to see Rayla grown big and strong and become the assassin leader herself, another proud elf in a long line of honor and tradition. She might feel that was a big accomplishment, considering the dangers they all face. And it would be.

Yes, this would hinge on the fact that Runaan would have to leave the Silvergrove to replace Tiadrin at the Storm Spire, to serve as Rayla’s liaison to the dragon throne. Cycles of trauma, remember? Tiadrin can’t have all of her family back in one place, ever again. She has to love and train someone enough to put them through the life that she’s having to live, and she has to be strong enough not to let that break her. And then, she has to choose between them. She chose Runaan first, so that she could hope to choose Rayla later. She trusted him with all the future happiness of her heart. And he did his best with it.

But they didn’t quite make it, in the end, because of Viren.

I know this has been a lot of angst. I know. But there is a moonlit lining to this theory, and I think we all need to consider it. If there is a cycle of taking the assassin leader out of the Silvergrove to serve the dragon throne for ancient promise reasons, then if that ancient promise is ever rescinded or redressed in an effective way, the family won’t need to keep yeeting loved ones out of its orbit. And if assassins cease to be a necessary evil as a result, then no one will have to leave, or stab, again. At least, not for the same angsty reasons. They could stay together and never need to leave again.

It won’t be easy to break such a cycle. It might be impossible. But if anyone can manage it, it’ll be Tiadrin, and her family.

extra headcanon for this theory:

Tiadrin, packing up for the Storm Spire: One last thing, Runaan.

Runaan, stoically attentive because what are feels on the day your mentor leaves you: Yes, Tiadrin?

Tiadrin: Ethari will need to pick an apprentice to replace him, too. He should start looking now.

Runaan: Why? Only the Silvergrove’s Master Craftsman gets to pick an apprentice, and Ethari isn’t--

Tiadrin: *wink” Not yet, he’s not.

Runaan: Tiadrin, please, what have you done?

Tiadrin: I want to come back here someday, Runaan. I want to see your good work with Rayla. And I can’t do that if you flat-out refuse to leave your husband when Avizandum calls for you to replace me. So he needs to be ready to leave, too.

Runaan: I, I, I would nev-- I couldn’t--

Tiadrin: *patting his shoulder briskly as she strides out* Mmhmm, sure thing, kid. The council votes him in next Thursday. Be good while I’m gone! I want to find this place exactly the way I’m leaving it. Lain, honey, get your coat!

Lain, in the next room: Yes, Tiadrin!

Runaan, soft-eyed, to the silence in her wake: Yes, Tiadrin.

[multi--kpop--fanfics]

There’s Blood On The Crown

prince!Xiaojun x queen!reader

genre: angst, horror, royalty!AU

warnings: heavy dark themes (blood, major character death, betrayal)

Part of THE CROWN - a collab call by @earth-to-that-asian​

Word count: ~1.7k 

Author’s note: The fic was beta read by @jaemotel and @intokook , who also made the header (thanxx bby💕). Inspired by the song Intro: Crown by Purple Kiss

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What do you say,

What if I ruled the world?

“Now, you may rise, Your Majesty, Queen Y/N”, the priest announces and you rise from your knees, the diamond crown resting proud but heavy on your head. You walk towards the balcony of the castle and look down, where the rest of the civilians awaited for you. You were their Queen now, the one who would guide them through thick and thin, especially after your beloved husband’s death, the late King Kun. 

“All hail the Queen!”, the crowd chants as you raise your hand and wave, the beaming smile on your face acting as a facade, masking your true feelings - uncertainty, sorrow and most importantly, fear.

Fear, because you trusted no one in the council. They never liked you in the first place, not only because you were the late King’s wife, but because you were also a very skilled fighter, one of your most valuable assets, hence why you were the Grand General of your kingdom before getting married to Kun. 

These weasels hated seeing a woman in power, simply because they wanted that power for themselves. But none of them had the guts to step up and claim the crown. They only knew how to scheme, bribe and conduct murders without ever getting blood on their hands.

There was only one person you could trust, the only one who truly recognized your strength and dedication to the crown - Prince Xiaojun, Kun’s brother and your brother-in-law. He was the only one who welcomed you with a warm smile and would always be respectful towards you. Everyone in the kingdom knew of his gentle nature and the civilians were always delighted to see the two of you take walks through the town. He treated you like family. And family is always there for you, just like Xiaojun today. You turn your head back and smile at him, an equal smile spreading across his handsome face. However, by the time you have turned your head back, his smile is instantly replaced by a clenched jaw and a stern gaze, burning with hatred and jealousy.

Nobody knows

It means nothing to me

Xiaojun enters the throne room, fully-armored, his sword sheathed on his back and his hunting knives strapped on his sides. You were seated in the throne, your white cape falling gracefully around you, the diamond crown and your silver chest armor shining from the sunlight that is creeping through the colored glass windows. Your image is a sheer contrast to Xiaojun’s, his armor being pitch-black, almost resembling an angel of Death.

“Ah, Xiaojun, what a delight to see you!” you state, smiling to him. “I haven’t seen you wear this armor in a long time. May I ask what’s the occasion?” you ask with curiosity. “I have decided to go hunting” he replies nonchalantly and you smile even wider, unaware of the true meaning behind his words. “That’s wonderful! Perhaps I could join you? I’ve been dying to leave the castle gates and get my blood boiling through some action” you slightly pout, albeitly tired from sitting around and letting your armor and sword get rusty. 

He chuckles at your reaction and he unsheathes one of the daggers from his arm and traces his finger along the edge of the blade. “I will not have to leave the castle to go hunting… In fact, my prey is right in this very castle” he states and takes slow yet steady steps towards your direction. “I-I don’t think I follow..” you stutter, fear starting to take over your senses. “What I am trying to say, dear Y/N, is that my true prey is not just within this castle - It’s right in front of me”. The realization then hits you.

It’s invisible but you know it’s mine

So where do you see yourself?

“You want the throne?”, you ask in shock, not wanting to believe that the one person you trusted ever since you stepped your foot in the castle was the one who wanted your fall. “I don’t want just the throne. I want the power that comes along with it”, Xiaojun admits, his ominous gaze fixated on you. The imminent danger awakes you and you yell with all your power towards the throne door.

“GUARDS!” and within seconds, your two strongest guards barge through the throne room, clad in heavy armor. “Prince Xiaojun has attempted murder against the Queen and is hereby guilty of commiting betrayal to the Crown. Seize him at once!” you yell and the guards point their weapons towards Xiaojun, who has seemingly raised his arms in surrender. “The accusations Her Majesty has made against me are completely false!”, he bites back, “Besides, I haven’t attempted murder..”, he adds and silently pulls out another dagger from his sleeve, “..Yet”. 

In a split second, he throws the daggers towards the guards and he hits them both in the blind spot of their armor, their cloth-covered necks, the sharp blades of the dagger cutting through the flesh. The guards are now flat on the marble floor, their lives slowly slipping away from their bodies that lay in blood. After recovering his daggers from the dead bodies, Xiaojun hears the familiar sound of a blade being unsheathed. He turns to you and he sees you holding your sword, your cape discarded on the floor, standing a few meters away from him.

“Finally, the queen has stepped down from her throne!” he spits, his voice dripping venom. "The Queen has a crown and she will do everything to protect it. Even if it means killing the prince", you prepare yourself and get into a fighting stance. "How ironic, to share the same goal at a moment like this", Xiaojun points out and unsheathes the sword from his back, "It's a shame you won't be alive to witness my success".

I am running for the crown

I keep breathing when you drown

You charge at Xiaojun with full speed, your sword in a secure hold. He throws a dagger at you to cut off your advance, but you duck down in the last second and you avoid it, closing the distance between you in the meantime. You fling your sword upwards, in an attempt to cut through his waist armor, but he is fast enough to parry your attack with his own sword. "You're fast, I'll give you that. But not fast enough", he mocks and pulls another dagger from his thigh, landing a deep cut on your forearm, making you cry out in pain.

The blood is staining your pristine blouse, but you don't care - you only want to stay alive in order to defeat Xiaojun. You kick his knee with full force and he groans, falling on his knees. "You know better than underestimating my skills, Xiaojun", you hatefully spit back and get up. You switch your blade to your intact arm and swing it towards his face, but he raises his arm and catches the blade mid-air. "I don't - I'm just reminding you how inferior your skills are compared to mine" he replies and holds the blade still, his fist now bleeding from the sharp edge. "You haven't even landed a proper cut on me, yet your arm is still bleeding from a mere dagger", he continues and stands on his feet, twisting his arm and the blade as well. 

You grit your teeth as you fight back the pain from your own arm being twisted and you lift your leg to kick him in the face, but alas, he's fast enough to swing his sword again and land another cut on you, this time on your leg. You feel the muscle joints being ripped apart and you scream once again, the blood gushing from the fresh wound. Xiaojun takes advantage of your vulnerable state and pulls the sword out of your grasp and throws it at the other side of the throne room. He then kicks you on the chest and you fall flat on your back, the diamond crown falling from your head. You try to stand your ground, but Xiaojun immobilizes you with his own body.

"It's truly a pity, Y/N. We could have been the most powerful and loved royals in the world… But you just had to fall in love with the fool of my late brother, didn't you?", he asks and caresses your cheek, the pretentious affection making you scrunch your face with disgust. "You will never be like Kun, you monster" you grit your teeth with anger, "Do you know why? Because he was always faithful to the people. Because the people are the true crown-" 

You never get to finish your sentence, as a dagger is piercing your throat, ridding you incapable of breathing. The stream of blood starts pooling around your spasming body, staining the marble floor, your clothes and the diamond crown that lays next to your head.

I believe myself no doubt

Xiaojun watches your last moments with a blank expression on his face, still on top of you. "Ironic, isn't it? The King and his Queen, dying by the same hand, clad in the same armor. Truly, the most perfect of tragic endings". You are unable to answer, the last of his words dealing the finishing blow to your form. You have stopped moving and a single tear falls from his face. "Even in death, you are still the most beautiful woman I've seen in my whole life, Y/N" he whispers and leans in to kiss your now lifeless lips. "Worry not, my love, you may meet your beloved husband now. The crown is in good hands".

He stands up and takes the blood-stained crown in his hands. He places it on top of his head, the blood dripping on his soft blonde locks. He slowly walks towards the throne, the edge of his sword scraping the marble floor and creating a line from the blood on it - your blood. He looks at the painting that rests above the throne, a painting of you and King Kun smiling fondly, wearing the same crown that now rests on Xiaojun's head. 

"You know, both of you were wrong. I never betrayed the crown. In fact, I was the only one who did everything to protect it", he speaks as he sits down on the throne, "And I succeeded, my beloved family. All thanks to you. You may now rest in peace", Xiaojun says with a soft smile on his face, making him look like an angel. 

An angel of Death.

My Lord

How come I never lost my faith?

[willowworkswithwords]

for the dvd commentary thing can i get it for this from thank god for broken things pls :))) it's so lovely and descriptive!!!

“No, no apologies, uh, necessary. I- what did you say your name was?”

Obi-Wan smiled.

“I didn’t.”

“Oh, right. Well. I do have to admit that I’ve never had to use a laundromat before. If you’re willing to help…?”

“My name is Obi-Wan. I should be able to help you out. I’m actually one of your sons’ teachers, so I should hope that I’ll be decent enough in helping.”

The frown was back on Cody’s face. Obi-Wan was not entirely displeased with it. That scar was entrancing and watching Cody’s face was mesmerizing. (Obi-Wan may have kicked himself for thoughts such as those so early on, not even knowing this man’s last name, but there was something about Cody that made him stop himself.)

“I don’t have any…” He looked behind himself towards the door. “Oh, you mean the boys! No, no we’re all brothers. Just a bit of an age gap.”

Cody laughed and Obi-Wan laughed with him, savoring the way his smile stretched the scar differently than the frown, how his eyes crinkled and his mouth quirked.

Aaaaa hi!! Thank you for this ask!! I loved writing Thank God for Broke Things, it was such a fun little thing to come out of actually having to learn how to do laundry at a laundromat.

Send me a part of one of my fics and I’ll DVD commentary it!!!

“No, no apologies, uh, necessary. I- what did you say your name was?”

Obi-Wan smiled.

“I didn’t.”

“Oh, right. Well. I do have to admit that I’ve never had to use a laundromat before. If you’re willing to help…?”

So this story was a gift for @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12, based off her story Autumn Town Leaves , and I did base their meet-cute off of how she likes to write them. I find it very cute when they both are equally flustered and/or the pov of whomever we're reading is already sold on the other. Though Obi-Wan is already head over heels, he still keeps his head on straight for the time being.

“My name is Obi-Wan. I should be able to help you out. I’m actually one of your sons’ teachers, so I should hope that I’ll be decent enough in helping.”

Obi-Wan is practically raising Anakin and Ahsoka, so he sees this attractive, apparently also singly parent and is like, well, maybe the universe is smiling down on me. And then...

The frown was back on Cody’s face. Obi-Wan was not entirely displeased with it. That scar was entrancing and watching Cody’s face was mesmerizing. (Obi-Wan may have kicked himself for thoughts such as those so early on, not even knowing this man’s last name, but there was something about Cody that made him stop himself.)

“I don’t have any…” He looked behind himself towards the door. “Oh, you mean the boys! No, no we’re all brothers. Just a bit of an age gap.”

...Cody's in the same boat as him! Raising his brothers. And though it's not in this section, I wrote it with the idea that Jango, who Cody loved but had a complicated relationship with, recently died, and so Cody now has been taking care of all the brothers (all of the ones seen in this fic are half-brothers, all sharing Jango). "Just a bit of an age gap" HA. Jango did what he wanted till the day he died, hence Tup and Dogma.

They're the youngest, I'm thinking around 9 months roughly, twins. Jango didn’t know about them until right before he died. Their mother didn’t know Jango was their father, she had a couple guesses and he was among them but she didn’t pursue it and gave them up for adoption. So the twins were handed over to the state and put in bad foster homes (hence their unease with strangers that shows up when they’re wary of Obi-Wan) until the state found that they had living and willing family who could take them. 

Cody laughed and Obi-Wan laughed with him, savoring the way his smile stretched the scar differently than the frown, how his eyes crinkled and his mouth quirked.

Obi-Wan doesn’t know why he feels so drawn to Cody, but while he usually would pull back and be super slow, he feels that he for some reason needs to (as long as Cody wants to too) know Cody better. I have it in my head that Obi-Wan usually likes to take it slower than not because he isn’t (at this point in his life, not earlier in his life) looking as much for temporary relationships